#cuz i like the whole batman works alone thing

[jodilin65]

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1992 Andy has to work a double shift. He won’t be home till 9:30 PM. He left a message saying he’ll just come home, run around in his Batman cape, come home, go to bed, then get up for work and start the whole process over again. He said his whole Halloween is shot down the drain.

I sure hope no trick-or-treaters knock on my door tonight. Or anyone else. Mary and I discussed the fact that we don’t want Moon Shadow outside with the trick-or-treaters. Especially kids and all those satanic psychos. Holidays tend to bring out psychos. Especially Halloween. I heard on the radio that if you have a black or partially black cat, you should keep them inside. Black cats go with Halloween just like witches, ghosts and goblins and candy corns do. Soon, I’ll call Mary and she’s gonna keep Moon Shadow till late tonight. Moon Shadow no longer likes to visit other tenants like she used to. Mary said as soon as she comes into her place, she wants out. I always have a hard time putting her outside. Except for when she’s got to go to the bathroom. It certainly is nice not having to deal with the expense and foul smell of litter boxes. I’m on my patio now and so is she. She’s sound asleep now.

Later…

I still have lots to write about concerning Stacey, probation, and other things. I had a little scare, but now I am so much more relieved. I spoke to Tammy earlier and it was like a big weight lifted off my shoulders with what we discussed. She confirmed what Andy, Randy, Kara and Dennis said.

I spoke to a Mike M at the Compact Services of Paroles and Probations. Compact Services deals with people coming from other states like I did. He scared the shit out of me at first when he told me MA had no right to send me here. He said that if I was a resident here to begin with, went to MA, got in trouble there, then returned here with immediate family here, I could reside here. So, he said it’s up to MA to either leave me the hell alone or extradite me. I told them Arizona can refuse me all they want, but meanwhile, I was given written permission to come here. I’m here and I’m staying here. He said it was out of his hands and to call MA.

The day before this talk with Miller, both Andy and I were called into the office to meet with Stacey. I’ll get into that later as Andy’s getting out of his work clothes and is gonna be calling any second.

Later…

I just had a really nice chat with Andy.

I just realized I haven’t seen Mark since I moved. Never ran into him on the way to the mailbox. He may not even know I still live here. It’s been nice not seeing him anyway.

It’s amazing how time flies. I’ve been in this apartment for 3 weeks now. Also, I’ve been in Arizona for almost 5 months. I moved to the 163 S. apartment on the 15th of June, but June 9th and also Oct. 9th were the days I got here and to this apartment. So there are two days on the 9th that are good dates to remember. And the 27th that just went by.

Moon Shadow’s asleep on my bed with me while I write. Earlier when I was writing on the patio, she was crashed out there. Then, she crashed on my bed with me while I watched the shows I taped from last night. Then, I brought her to Mary’s. Mary was saying how she no longer likes to stay there and I guess she didn’t want to be there tonight either. She was growling as I brought her down to Mary’s. Mary was gonna call me to go get her later, but I just opened the door about 15 minutes ago and there she was. Mary never called and obviously, Moon Shadow didn’t want to stay with her.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1992 A lot has been going on since I last wrote and it’s not too good. I am at the doctor’s as I write, nervous as all hell. I really don’t like this guy. Not cuz he is a guy, but cuz he seems insensitive and rough. Some men and women are rough while others seem gentler. I refused a pap smear figuring my discharges are hopeless. I’ll never get rid of them.

Everything was going great until the day before yesterday. The problem is with Stacey, the apartment manager. Also with Ellie and April, as I mentioned before, turned out to be a joke. That’s my fault, though, for getting involved in the first place and exchanging phone numbers with her. I set my own self up for something I knew would happen. The day she didn’t show up for her appointment, Andy called her. She seemed friendly and she said she forgot about her appointment, then said to hang on, but she really hung up. Some people just love to play games.

Kara came over yesterday and we had a nice visit.

The only friendships that I believe will last are with Kara, Tara, Tonya, Randy, Dennis and his mom. That’s enough friends and better than nothing, but I’ll get into all the bad news later.

The only other good news is about the Phoenix Day School for the Deaf. Remember I said I wrote a letter to them for someone to sign with? Well, a 38-year-old woman named Jane called through the Arizona Relay last night. She lives very close by and we will probably get together next week.

Later I’ll write about Stacey and other people’s shit.

Dennis and his mom drove me here. I’ll call Dennis when I’m through here. It’ll no doubt be a while.

Later…

What is it with that fucking doctor? My appointment was at 2:15 and by 4:00 I got sick of waiting. They said it’s like that every day, but then why do they go and schedule so many people? I was told Wednesdays were the busiest, so pick any other day. So much for that. I’ll reschedule one of these days.

The nurse was very nice and commented on my journal. I told her I’d been doing it for 5 years. She said, “Well, you inspired me. I’m gonna get into it.”

Why didn’t I dump Ellie when I last said I would? If I’m not gonna get the better class of people why do I settle on the assholes? I mean, I don’t compared to years ago, but I’m mad at myself as well as at her. Mad at her for fucking me over and mad at myself for taking her back as a friend and asking for trouble.

She and I both left funny messages on each other’s machines. She knew I could handle her calls to me and it seemed like she could handle it too, but I guess not. She changed her number, which is one thing, but to go to the office about it is another while she’s calling me being friendly and all lovey-dovey.

After I write the shit about Stacey, I’ll write about what I did to Ellie to try to get her to stay off my back, my phone, and out of my life. And Andy’s, too.

Later…

I just ran to the office to buy stamps and give my rent check which cannot be cashed till the 3rd.

I mailed my phone bill and can you believe it was $105.11! That’s with the installation and the monthly charge. Then there’s tax like you wouldn’t believe.

Judy was in the office and she was very friendly. She and Paula are nice. Stacey is the bitch and I’m not alone in that opinion. I’ve heard several others complain about Stacey. She’s just another person who’s got a good job with good pay with a mask on. The mask says, “I’m stable and better than everyone else. Especially those on SS.” Remove the mask and there’s a very insecure person having a bad day or bad time in life who’s got to take it out on others. She’s got to judge others who she doesn’t even know. Real stable, huh? But this doesn’t mean I’m gonna settle for the Ellie’s of the world either.

I moved off the patio to my table where it’s easier to write. It’s getting dark, too.

I’m listening to one of my new CDs. I had given Tammy my CD by Neil Diamond so I replaced it.

Someone’s making popcorn. Good idea.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1992 Yesterday Jeff managed to program my VCR. We got channels 5, 8, 10, 12, and 45, but not 3.

He let me go down and use his microwave to pop some popcorn since mine’s too wimpy.

All I must fix now is the spacer on my new Smith-Corona electric typewriter. Randy’s gonna do it and it’s minor. Everything works fine, except when I hit the space bar it sticks. We went to the thrift store last Wednesday during their half-off time. They had two, but they were broken. This is a top name, very nice and usually very expensive typewriter. It normally goes for $200. He asked for $40. I said I’d pay $20 and I did.

I bought a leather bikini, but I must have Ellie take it in cuz it’s a size 10. I also want Ellie to fix a skirt waistband for me.

Later…

I wonder if Andy has the day off today. I haven’t heard him turn on the shower. He usually has Tuesday and Wednesday off. He’s told me he’s gotten to hate getting up early. I never liked it myself, unless I’m changing my schedule.

My pictures were developed, but ma got the wrong speed of film. I told her to get 35mm ISO 100, but she got 35mm ISO 200. A few came out too dark, blurry and far away, even though he was right in front of me. Most of them came out OK and the shocking thing is, is that I look so thin in them all. Also, you can see how solid I am. There were even a couple where I looked like a woman for a change and not a girl. I mailed a copy to my parents and the other to Tammy. I also mailed Tammy the ones I sent to Mom that she couldn’t stand which were taken right after I got here. Tammy got 46 pictures and Mom’s getting 34. They could get them today, although I’d say more like tomorrow or Wed. I also sent Nervous and Fran the same ones of me in the Jacuzzi. I have to mail out the pictures and letters to Fran, Nervous and Tammy.

I hope my mother has mailed me the $50 she promised on the 20th of every month. She also says she’s sending my other guitar out in a month. Who knows if my other pictures are in the guitar case or not? I do hope so.

I spoke to Bob the other day who said he got “two hairy letters.” He’s not gonna move as he’d planned. We had a nice talk. He and Kim very very seldom see each other. She abandons him for longer periods of time each time. Makes me wonder just how often I’d see her at this point if I were still there. Maybe once every 1-2 months. He says he’ll write, but we’ll see.

I keep trying to get ahold of Kim to be sure she’s gotten her tapes and see how she likes them. Naturally, her machine came on. Bob says she’s got a new boyfriend. A doctor. Yeah, I can see her being able to get a doctor. Well, I’m sure she got the tapes cuz Fran got his and they were never returned to me.

I’ve got to go to Fry’s today and either buy or make a Halloween card for Andy.

Fran says he’s gonna write a letter, but I know better. He doesn’t have the mentality.

My niece hasn’t written since the end of last July when she went to Florida. When am I gonna hear from her? I know she’s been busy with Hebrew school and Sunday school and chorus and band, but I hope she finds time to write.

Moon Shadow is still fine. Very friendly and loving and meowing back and forth with me. It’s nice to not have to deal with a litter box, but I think she may be pregnant.

I had an ad up a while back to sell my answering machine. No one called about it, so I wonder if I should re-post the ad. Also, one asking for a fan. I need one in the bedroom. If Moon Shadow has kittens I’ll need to post an ad.

I need to call Dr. Kareus to reschedule a pap smear. I’m terrified at the thought of that and I also still have a discharge. The antibiotics did me no good. I’m still extremely congested and tight in the chest, too.

Later…

Last night I ended up bored for a while, so I decided to call April and flake out on her. The conversation really did end up normal, but my first question was based on the typical airheads I get. That was, did she lose my number again? She said she didn’t lose my number, but wasn’t getting along with her parents. I asked her what she meant. She said that half the time her family accepts her and the other half they don’t. She said her father was throwing his bible at her. She asked me what I thought of the bible. I said I didn’t believe in it and felt it was merely the opinion of those who wrote it. What may be for some people may not be for others.

She said she needed to get out on her own, but wasn’t sure if she could afford it. On the 3-way I called the office and she spoke to Paula about a studio. An appointment was made for her at 3:00 today. I felt she’d be too air-headed and undependable to show up and I was right. The other day I thought, wow, this tells me something about April. Today, this really, really tells me something about April. First, she got lost and lost my number. I said that’s OK, she’s only human, people make mistakes and those are the types I get, so I have to just deal with it. Then, I gave her my number and she still never called for a week or so. Now this. So does she really want to meet me? That’s not even the question at this point. The question is, do I want to meet her? Absolutely 100% not. Not even if she called me now. If she wanted to, she’d have found a way to last week.

Mom’s $50 came today, thank God.

I also called to reschedule with the doctor. I decided against another pap cuz they hurt too much and I’m still having discharges. The nurse said that can be cleared up. Well, I don’t believe her. I’ve had this since I was 21. I think it could be related to the DES. I’ll just concentrate on my asthma and allergies.

I went to the store today and got Andy a Halloween card.

I also laid out at the pool for a little while. Dennis, Sue and some guy were there.

I haven’t seen or heard from Rachel, Tara or Tonya, but they know my number.

My CDs came under a phony name, but the office didn’t take them. I’m surprised cuz they have before. Whenever I move I get CDs. I called the office and told Paula that if I ever got mail under my name or any other and it’s in my address and apartment number, they’re to take it. I also called the PO for redelivery and asked that Pete (our mailman) leave it out by my door.

Bobbie called, but I’ll write about that after I have a smoke.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1992 I woke up at 6:00 this evening to someone slamming their door. I knew it wasn’t Andy as he was at the state fair. The day before I also woke up at 6:00, so I was ticked. I wanted to sleep past that.

When he got in he said he had something for me. He had a tiny teddy bear he won and a cassette single of Gloria. It’s a song called Always Tomorrow she wrote for the hurricane victims. All royalties from the sales of that single go to help the hurricane victims and it’ll be on her Greatest Hits album due to be released soon.

He and I both got very strange messages from Ellie. She reminds us of Fran acting desperate, crying out for attention. It’s not what she says. It’s how she says it.

Now for something awesome which turned into a bummer. When I went to open the door for Moon Shadow, an electric typewriter was there! I ran down to the Jacuzzi to see Randy who I knew would be there, but what a bummer it was when we came to discover the motor was shot. He called the guy who gave it to him. Randy claims the guy’s honest and they’ve done business together before. The guy said it may be a loose or broken belt, but it is the motor. Well, tomorrow Andy and I are gonna go to the thrift store as we planned last week anyway. I called them and they said they always have electric typewriters and some are junk and others are nice. Tomorrow from 9:00 to noon, everything’s half off. So, a $25 typewriter will be around $13 or $14 with tax.

On the 20th of every month, I’m supposed to get a $50 check from Mom, but I haven’t gotten it. I hope tomorrow.

I still must get my pictures developed and buy stamps.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20, 1992 I got a Tina Turner CD in the mail today. I think I’ve got CDs coming to this new apartment soon. Under the name Savannah, I think. I’m not sure, so I’ll wait and see. If I don’t get anything, I’ll fill out a form for more. There are 2 separate clubs. I’m sure Andy wouldn’t mind if I sent CDs to his place, too.

Gloria has her Greatest Hits out now, and I hope that’ll show up in record catalogs. As well as one recently released by Linda in Spanish.

Andy grilled us steaks he bought. I supplied us each with a baked potato. Unfortunately, I couldn’t enjoy the potato that much cuz I thought I had margarine, but I don’t.

Damn! I just remembered I let Andy borrow it. Why didn’t he say anything about it?

Later…

I just had the creepiest, goriest thing happen. As I was at the kitchen table writing, I noticed a movement along the metal side of the table. The one I was sitting at. I thought it was a cricket, but it was a huge spider! I backed away quickly and it almost came down on my lap. It was barely an inch away.

As I was waking up early this evening, my ESP said there was a spider on the ceiling above my bed. There was. A baby one, though.

I called Andy’s machine telling him about the spiders and asking if he’s got my margarine.

What I wrote about the spiders reminded me of the bee incident in Norwich. I woke up feeling a bee was inside somewhere and sure enough, it was in the kitchen window. I remember telling that to Tammy.

I must finish the drawing of Tammy, Bill and the girls on their swings, and draw something for Tara’s b-day.

Later…

Two weeks or so before I moved to this apartment, I was sitting on my patio when I noticed a black and white cat. I was shocked at how brave and friendly she was. I gave her some milk and she was so determined to go inside with me. I wouldn’t let her and eventually, she gave up and disappeared. After that, I’d see her around the complex. Others commented on how friendly she was. They said as far as they knew she was a stray. I figured as much myself. Before I moved I had a feeling that this cat would check out other tenants, then settle on me at the new apartment. I was right. Only a few days after I got here she showed up at my door. She’s been here ever since. She’s the sweetest little thing and is 100% like Shadow! Mary, downstairs, gave me some cat food telling me she feeds her here and there. She’s big like Shadow was. Another strange yet nice coincidence is that we meow together like Shadow and I used to. Isn’t that weird? And cats don’t just do that. They must be trained. Her mannerisms are so much like Shadow’s and she’s so loving. Maybe cats do have 9 lives, although I don’t know if Shadow’s dead. I doubt if Shadow’s dead, and this cat is older. How old, though, I have no idea. I’d guess between 1-2 years, but I hope she’s not pregnant. I need not buy a litter box, which is nice. I put her out when I’m gone, asleep or just not wanting her all over me and she does her jobs outside. I hear her getting into catfights every day, too. As far as spaying and shots, I don’t know what I’ll do about that, or if I ever will. It still costs money I don’t have even with a low-income discount. At first, I was gonna name her Oreo. I stole the idea from Kim who had a black and white cat. Mary came up with Domino, but Andy’s was the best. Moon Shadow.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 19, 1992 Andy and I called Fran. We didn’t talk too long and we’re gonna split the bill. Most of what Fran had to say was bullshit as usual anyway.

On the 11th or 12th, Velma trimmed my hair. Personally, I think Ellie did a better job. Ellie brought it from 1” below my waist to the waist. Velma’s brought it from 1” below the waist to 1-2 inches below the middle of my back. This really pisses me off. The weird thing about it, though, I saw the hair on the floor and it really did look like 2”. So, why does it now look considerably shorter? When Ellie trimmed it, no one could tell. But with Velma’s, it is noticeable. My hair was almost to my waist when I moved to Dfld. I have been so stalled and set back. My hair should be to my ass now. Not the same length as April of 1991. I know my hair is still in shock and everyone’s does that when it’s cut. I know it grows very fast and will be right back to where it was in 3 weeks to a month, but I’m not cutting it for a year.

Later…

Now that the days are not so hot, I wanna get on a day schedule for a while so I can go tan without getting sun poisoning. I’m losing my tan. In the daytime, it’s in the 90s. At night it gets to the low 70s/high 60s and it’s slightly chilly. Can you imagine that? It’s cuz there’s no humidity. 70º back east is warm. It hasn’t rained for nearly 2 months here. Back east it’s damp, dreary and rainy half the time.

My hair is definitely coming out of shock now, but I won’t cut it again till December of ‘93 or January of ‘94. The year I “thought” I was supposed to get my foot in the door musically.

A zillion other things happened that I swore never would or could, so now that I’m in total doubt about singing, will it happen? Yeah, right! I never thought I’d get to Phoenix, have sex with a girl looking like Ann Marie and so many other things. I never thought I could draw or be psychic. But a singing career is the ultimate dream. And quitting smoking. Never having the ultimate sexual attraction is easier to live without. Plus, even if I got it, it’d never be as good as it is in my fantasies.

I have mixed emotions about quitting smoking. A part of me says to continue smoking and die a slow, young painful death. Another part says quit and live with always dying to smoke and get fat so I can breathe, save money, get off medication and be able to sing without coughing up phlegm.

Remember how I used to stick to writing love stories with all my characters? I’d always lose patience, but it’s been a while. Maybe I should try again. I’ll do it in a notebook first, see how long it runs, then copy it into a journal whether or not I see it through. I’m gonna write more convos from tapes, too. I know I never finished that one with Fran telling the crisis center in Northampton how he planned to jump off of the Northampton high school roof.

Fran gave me Bobbie’s address and I’ll send her a wacky letter along with some hair. It’d sure be nice to know Tracy’s address and phone if she even has one. Fran keeps on insisting that Tracy is in jail, but the truth is 50/50 with him. Is it a lie or true, who knows? But, I can easily picture someone like Tracy in jail. She’s a con artist and a thief, so you never really do know.

Later…

Andy told me that if I didn’t hear him up at 6:45 to slam my closet door and I did. He called out thanks from his bedroom window. It’s neat, though, to be able to do this. We always wanted to live together, yet separate. It’s like we’re roommates, but we have our own private territory.

Well, I’m timing how long it’ll take to read each journal from 1-30. So far, it took 1 hour and 20 minutes to read #1. Two hours and 35 minutes for #2 which I’m still not quite done with. Almost.

Right when I moved I left a couple of goofy messages on Robert’s machine. One night Andy and I called Robert at 2 AM and began saying our weird shit on his machine. Eventually, he picked up and said, “Jodi, you better stop doing this. I got your voice on tape. I don’t know what your little problem is. You’re a tramp.”

I said, “I told you we were very weird.”

He said, “Yeah, you are.”

“What are you gonna do about it?” I asked.

He said, “You’ll see, but it’s 2:00 in the morning.”

Funny how 2:00 in the morning is too early to wake someone up, but 4:00 isn’t.

Also funny how a girl who’s only had two one-nighters in a year and a half can be a tramp. He just said this cuz he wanted my body. He also changed his number.

Shit! Here goes those fucking obnoxious lawnmowers.

My neighbors are nice. I’ve seen Andi and her best friend Gretchen, but 95% of the time she’s not home. Andi and Gretchen are so pitifully ugly and I think they’re both gay for sure.

Mary, the girl below her and next to Jeff is very nice. She can’t walk too well cuz she’s got CP, but her speech is fine. Not like Melissa, Fran’s friend. She’s sort of pretty and in good shape for being 30 years old. She gave me her number and I gave her and Andy mine. They both say Jeff is a very nice guy. I guess I believe that cuz he hasn’t bothered me or tried to talk to me.

I got a package from my parents with paper towels, Kleenex, toilet paper, a really nice cream-colored shag rug for the bathroom, a nice shirt, and a nightgown. Also, some liquid dishwashing soap, but I told them not to send any unless it’s for dishwashers.

Am I ever gonna get the rest of my pictures?

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 18, 1992 I just glued into my journal cover the stickers that Andy had stuck all over the envelope of the Halloween card he sent me.

I finally got ahold of April who told me she got lost and also lost my number. I do believe her, but now that I gave her my number again, it’s up to her. I’ve done my fair share. Let her pursue me now.

I also spoke to Dad earlier. He’s glad to hear I’m all settled in here and like it much much better.

Tammy also called a few days ago. She’s bummed about not being able to work at the fire department, and was in the ER cuz of her knee.

I have so much to write in letters to her, mom and dad, but keep forgetting to mention every little thing I want to mention. I should make notes every time I think of something. I write to my family and Fran and Nervous quite frequently. I wish people would write to me more often. It’ll be months before I hear from my family or Kim again. I wonder why I haven’t heard from my niece Lisa.

I have several other things to write about like Velma’s cutting my hair, Moon Shadow, my neighbors, a package from mom and dad, the call we made to Robert, reading back in my journals, and whatever else I can think of.

I haven’t seen Mark at all which is cool. Soon I will leave him that red bra that ma sent that’s too big.

I may send ma back some pitiful clothes she sent to the 1st-floor apartment and possibly a tape of Andy singing in Spanish. Trying to, I should say. I may also send it to Kim as I don’t think she has the one of Andy singing in Spanish. I believe Andy made that tape after I sent Kim those 5 tapes. I know she got them OK as they weren’t returned to me and Fran got his.

I finally got a kitchen pail earlier in the evening when Andy and I went out food shopping.

Two nights ago I ran into Randy at the Jacuzzi and Robert who had nada to say.

Randy came up to see my new place and he also hooked up my VCR but we couldn’t program all the channels I want to. The reception’s sort of shitty.

I told him I had to junk my typewriter and that Andy said he saw an electric one for $25 at the thrift store. He mentioned checking it out.

He also told me that it was he who was leaving the TV guide at my door. He left it twice which was nice. I thought it was him or a guy named Mike I recently met. I do believe I mentioned Mike in one of the last two journals.

Randy is a very nice friend to have and is far from your typical male. This is nice for a change. He looks OK for being 40 years old and he made me think of Tammy as he’d be the type she’d go for if she were single. Then again she seems to prefer guys with a bite.

I bought a really nice notebook last week. A wireless one but I love the cover so much. I’ll put it on the wall when I’ve used it all up. It’s got music and neon-colored flowers and high-heel pumps. The paper is for writing to people like Fran and Nervous. I like to use my stationery for my family. Soon I’m gonna need to buy more, but maybe mom and dad will send some. I began with 72 sheets of stationery and now I only have 25 left.

After I moved and got the place all set up I finished the roll of film my parents sent. I took half a dozen shots of the apartment. I’d like them to send another roll so I can take pictures of myself in different outfits. Clothes they’ve sent and clothes I bought. I’m also gonna develop two copies myself. This way if any comes out bad I can pull them out. I’ll send one copy to mom to do whatever she wants with. The other copy, along with pictures Andy took a few months ago will be sent to Tammy, but she must send them back. After Tammy’s sent her copy back and if ma sends her copy back, I’ll distribute one copy between Fran and Nervous.

I made one call to Fran and two to Nervous from Ellie’s phone right before I moved. Ellie changed her number 5 days or so after I moved.

Later…

I just spoke to Tammy and gave her my idea. I suggested she sell my songs since she’s bummed out about the fire dept. and hard up for money. She’s got transportation and business know-how. She’s gonna think about it.

I also told her I predicted 4 things for mom and dad. One was close and the other 3 were a bust. Therefore, I wanted to do a distance test to see if that had anything to do with it. I don’t think it has anything to do with it except for in the beginning. Once you’re in tune with someone, that’s it, but I can see you’d have to re-learn tuning into them at a distance.

I told her the first thing I felt she couldn’t answer yes, no, or close, cuz it’s in the future. January should be her best money month. I asked if a little boy hurt his leg falling out of a tree or if anyone else ever fell out of a tree. She said not that she knew of. I also asked if Lisa came running out of her room screaming about a spider. She said no. Then, the last thing I asked was if Bill hurt his hand. She said yes, so that’s a start.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15, 1992 I got a Halloween card in the mail today from Andy. Originally, I thought it was from Mom and Dad until I recognized the handwriting. I also got a letter from Tammy.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 13, 1992 Last night at 2 AM I decided to finally call April. She said she tried to call once, but got a busy signal.

We did end up having a fairly good talk for a little over an hour. About general stuff like past lovers and our interests in people and life. I never told her anything personal about myself. I only told her how I feel about people in general and that I’m used to being alone.

My ESP and all that came up. She reacted like Tara and Tonya did. She thought it was neat. She asked several questions and I answered all but two correctly according to her.

Now, for the typical part of what usually happens. She was supposed to come over at 9:00. She said she’d have no problem finding it, but she never showed up. Never even had the decency to call. Right away that tells me something about her. I also believe it’s a signal and a reminder from “the planner.” Well, I guess it sure saves me from a lot of bull, and I was pretty nervous. I am too old to play this game, but it took away my fun of dumping. Having been the dumpee way more than the dumper, I’d really like to even the score, do the right thing, and it is the thing to do. I was gonna go along with her if anything had begun, then ditched her once I’d had enough.

I called a few times and her brother answered saying she wasn’t there. At around 11:00, I got a busy signal till midnight, then it just rang and rang. I said to myself, here we go again. Now it’s up to her. If she wants to call, let her.

Tara called at almost 1 AM. She has both school and work and the poor girl must get up at 6 AM!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 1992 My Second Vista Ventana Apartment…

I moved last Friday the 9th. It’s great up here and I wish I’d been here all along. Dennis, Brian and I moved my shit over using a dolly. The move went fine and we began around 2 PM and finished at 4:30 PM.

I met Brian’s wife who’s a nurse. She’s nice.

No problem with the phone that was all ready when I got here. I really like that voice messaging. It’s great to be able to talk to Andy, Ellie, Tara, Rachel, Dennis and whoever.

Tomorrow, or later, I shall write the millions of things I have to write about.

Later…

When I first moved into 163 S, I got a box of rugs (who knows who they really belonged to?) along with my 30 boxes of stuff Dad packed. I thought these rugs were from them, but they knew nothing about it. I gave them to Andy who used some as car seats. The others were out on his porch. I took two today. One covers a box that has my photo albums and posters. This is out on my porch. The other is to sit on and write. My raft is behind it so I can lean back against it. I was gonna write out there, but the sun’s really searing down. In an hour or so it should be on Andy’s side.

He just got home from work and is now listening to the messages left by Ellie and me.

Tara gave me permission to decorate her machine last night so I did. I also called Rachel. Tara and Rachel may come up later to check the place out. Maybe Stephanie too, but you can’t count on her.

Steph, Andy and I played cards a few nights before I moved.

I got the place all set up in a day, as usual. The only place I kept stalling on setting up was Norwich. I just didn’t want to be there and was too damn depressed. But when I finished I made that sick dive look somewhat livable. It needed all the help it could get. I guess we artistic people are the most creative.

I’ll have to have Dennis come up some time. He and his mother and I did a little food shopping last night. His mom’s got Alzheimer’s disease. She’s funny and is a lot like Andy and I and never makes sense. Only we know when we’re goofing off and intending not to make sense. She doesn’t. Alzheimer’s people can really turn on you, so I wouldn’t want to spend much time around her.

Later…

Andy called as I was finishing my last sentence. He’s gonna take me out to the King’s Table and I’ll do his laundry in exchange. The King’s Table is an all-you-can-eat buffet. It’s really nice. He says Stephanie’s gonna go with us.

It’s beautiful here and so much more private.

The night I moved in Jeff said, “Welcome to the building.” Later he called up to me asking if I wanted to say hello. I said I was busy.

The next day I made popcorn which I promised him for the shrimp he gave me. I knew it was also time to set him straight up front. I told him that this was his IOU, so to speak, and that I don’t over-associate with neighbors.

He said, “OK, we’ll give it time.”

I said, “There’s no time to give it and I will not be available to you for sex.”

We haven’t spoken since then, but I could’ve sworn I heard him call up to me last night. I’m not sure, but if I need to do to him what I did to Mark, I will. I’ll make his life miserable here if I have to. I refuse to associate with male neighbors anymore! Males in other buildings are a different story.

Last night I think someone was peeping through their blinds in the building next to mine and watching me on my patio, but who gives a fuck about that?

About 5 days before transferring I really let Mark have it. First, the little fuck asked for a cigarette. I told him it was his last one as I’m no cigarette machine. He said he was too drunk to go to the store. I told him that was his problem and gave him the scissors to cut the filter. The little fuck carried on with the mouth and tried giving me a hard time giving me the scissors back. I got them eventually and he told me he wanted to piss me off. So, the little fuck went inside his place and I told him he got what he wanted. I went off for nearly two hours screaming outside his door. My rage built up and I chucked rocks at his door, fucked up the inside of his truck and demanded he open his door. Chicken shit stayed inside, but it felt so good to just go off. He’d pushed the last button, but I knew he enjoyed it and that was the final straw anyway. I was fed up. He’ll get his. He thinks he’s seen the last of me, but one by one his treatments will come. I wish that fuck face had a phone, but I left Robert a few messages late Friday night.

It was funny how Mark asked me why everything was off the walls when he was standing in the doorway. I said I waved my magic wand and made it all disappear. He remained in his place as we moved, but on my way out, after having Judy inspect, I yelled out, “Bueno bye!”

Later…

Rachel, Stephanie and Andy came over. They really liked how I decorated and fixed the place up.

All 4 of us went out to eat and it was nice. Rachel seemed both happy and depressed. I guess she misses her boyfriend in Oregon.

Tara may be calling anytime now.

Yesterday I met Andi’s best friend’s parents next door. They were sitting inside her place with the door open, but Andi wasn’t there. They were very nice and said we’d really like each other. Andi’s 27 and goes to school and works. That explains why she’s never home. Neither is Jeff, so that’s good.

You could see this woman and her husband were thinking what I think. That is, gee, it’s nice to see Andi’s got a nice female neighbor and not some perverted male.

I sang 3 songs and she said I have a beautiful voice. Also, to come see her at her antique store in the mall. Lastly, she said thanks for introducing myself, and maybe she’ll see me Monday. They seem very nice and made me feel comfortable and I hope Andi turns out to be a fun and great neighbor like some were in Springfield. I’m looking forward to meeting her, surprisingly enough for a girl weary of people. Especially neighbors.

I can’t wait for Fran to call. So far today when I checked my voice messaging there were two hang-ups. Maybe it was either Fran or Nervous. The great thing about VM is that if they do hang up you don’t get that long obnoxious dial tone. But if you do you can just hit 33 and it’ll go to the end of that message. I really love VM and there’s no answering machine doing that annoying clicking. It’s got lots of nice features.

I still have so many more things to write about, but I must take a break. My back is sore.

Later…

I just spoke with Andy who’s gone to bed. I got up at 2:30 yesterday and at 1:30 today. It is quieter here. The only obnoxious thing you hear is kids. Today nothing woke me up. Yesterday at 8:30 AM I thought I heard footsteps, but I must’ve been dreaming cuz Andy was asleep. Then, at 11:30 AM yesterday I woke up to Jeff playing his music, but that’s fine and I fell back asleep to it.

About a week ago Tina put fake nails on me. She did a great job and they’re still on. They look very natural. I can grow my own nails, but they look so horrible. The ridges are bad.

Rachel gave me a few things she didn’t want. A pillowcase with teddy bears, two shirts, a rug that fits around the toilet and a nightgown. She said she’ll let me know if she has more stuff for me when she sorts through her stuff. Her place is still trashed with stuff piled to the ceiling. She’s got way too much stuff for a studio. She said she wishes she was on the 2nd floor and wants me to help her decorate in two weeks.

Tara and Tonya may want me to clean for them. Tara now has a job and she starts school soon. So, she’s not sure about dancing now.

Tammy told me she found a letter she typed up a while back that fell behind the counter and never got mailed to me. I hope she mails it to the right apartment number. I also hope everyone writes more often. Lisa hasn’t written to me in quite a while. Since before she went to Florida. I’ve sent out tons of letters to Cousin Boo, Tammy, Lisa, Becky, mom and dad, Nervous, Fran, Bob and Kim. I hope Fran writes, but he told me he got the tape I made for him. I called him from Andy’s after trying to call collect from my phone. A guy at the phone company said I’d be able to call collect, but that’s bullshit. Fran, as usual, owes quite a bit on his phone. He’ll call when he can, he told me. He tells me he no longer has 3-way or call-waiting.

Kim should’ve received her 5 tapes by now.

In a few months, I’ll leave a red bra I don’t want that ma sent me on Mark’s door. I’ll also have Andy write a note saying “she’s” seen him at the pool and let’s get together at whatever time. I’ll have him write that he should go to the mailboxes and I’ll be there laughing. I’ll also send a letter one of these days. To Barbara, too. Kacey, Brenda, Jimmy and Russ S all recently got one.

I need a cigarette break now.

Later…

I’m so glad Andy and I went over to Ellie’s that night. Not only to make my skirt with shells, sequins and colored glue, but to get her phone number. That was the biggest mistake of her life cuz she’s another Nervous. We won’t over-harass her so she doesn’t change her number.

I just went and put a cloth hair elastic on my thumb as my index fingernail was jamming into it.

I got no calls about buying my answering machine. I also haven’t seen that really pretty girl Melissa.

I saw Gloria last Thursday night on The Tonight Show. I wish she didn’t cut her hair. She certainly looks older than she did in 1987. She looked somewhat tired and I noticed her face was full, round and puffy. Did she gain weight? As for her singing, some of her notes sounded good and some were strained.

Am I ever gonna see the rest of my Gloria picture collection?

Tara’s birthday is on November 12th and I want to do something nice for her. Maybe I’ll draw her a picture.

I found the photo of Tammy, Bill and the girls on their swings along with the drawing of it I had begun. Dad shoved it in with my sheet music. I gotta get on with that and send it to Tammy. I’ve been promising them this for a while.

My phonebooks oughta be arriving soon. Good. Then I won’t have to call 1411 and pay 60 cents.

I may get a package from mom and dad next week.

I must have Andy finish my roll of film now that I’m moved and all set up and his sister and nephew couldn’t make it.

I’ll write about April after I smoke the second half of my ciggie.

Later…

I’ve been writing for almost an hour now.

Andy and I went to check out several bars a week ago. At first, we were bored as all hell, but then it got interesting. I met a girl (April) and yes she does have a butch haircut and her clothes were a little butchy too, but nice. We exchanged numbers cuz I figure that I’ll have to settle sooner or later and she’s not wicked dyky or ugly or a man. I told her my phone would be on on the 9th, but I keep putting off calling her. I just can’t get into it anymore, but maybe I’ll call and just be friendly eventually.

I’d so much rather have first best or live on fantasy. Fantasy’s so much easier. It’s all I can really deal with now, so I can be myself. I’m too independent and secure with myself. I need my space. I need to be able to click it out of my mind when I am not in the mood to fantasize. I can’t do that in a real relationship. I hate sharing a bed, of course, and I only have a twin-size bed anyway. I don’t have to answer to or explain to anyone. I understand myself and that’s what counts. In fantasy I can, say, do or ask what I want the way I want to.

I also met a few others at another bar. Two were good-looking, but they were all nice. The good-looking ones were Holly and Melanie. Their lovers were there. Holly’s lover Janet was nice and I gave both of them my number. There was this girl Tammy who was nice, but an ugly butch. I could tell that Holly and Melanie may be interested. I’m surer about Holly, but we’ll see if she calls or not.

I had to bullshit April. When I asked her if she did flings or relationships, she told me it’s got to be a solid relationship. I naturally had to lie and say I’m into that, too.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1992 Kim sent me a letter, a really nice photo album, a book of stamps and 8 mailbags of 3 different sizes. I put 10 stamps on the package in which I’m sending her 5 tapes. I put 2 on a small bag which I’m gonna send Fran 1 tape in. He wants the hilarious Rick and Nervous fight along with some edits. I’m not sending any edits with my voice or Andy’s in them cuz I know he’s gonna play this tape for the whole city of Springfield along with other local towns.

I got a really nice letter from Dad, along with a picture of Max holding two boxes of dog snacks.

Can’t wait to move! Only a few more days to go and I’ll have a phone, too. Andy says they were in there painting today.

I’ll be sending Dad’s and Kim’s letters to Nervous. He oughta get a kick out of them and have fun wondering why the hell I sent them.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1992 We went to karaoke and neither of us won, but we had fun. It was definitely somewhat fixed as everyone knew each other, but no one knew us from a hole in the wall. First place won $75 and second won $25. The two people we thought would win 1st and 2nd place did not win at all. I sang better than I thought I would. About a 7 on a scale of 1-10. The girl who won 1st place sang better than me, but the girl who won 2nd was worse than me. At times she was OK, but for the most part, she sang flat. Both these girls were well-known there, too. There were also some pretty sucky singers, too.

For my warm-up song, I sang Different Drum by Linda. For the contest, I sang I Honestly Love You by Olivia Newton-John. The sound system was great and not too loud.

Andy’s and my warm-up songs weren’t sung as our greatest, but Andy’s contest song was good. He held his notes well.

We went to Red Lobster first, and while I was there and until I began my warm-up song, I was nervous. Believe it or not, though, during my warm-up and contest song I was very relaxed.

Another amazing yet wonderfully fantastic thing is that no guy hit on me. Maybe cuz I was with Andy. It was nice for a change.

Earlier this afternoon Tara came over. I played her some guitar and I taught her the intro to Talk to Me. She’s a quick learner and was grateful that I was patient in teaching her. Well, I told her she sure had way more learning patience than I do. Andy can vouch for that. She said I’d make a good music teacher as others have said. Well, I’m sure I could probably be a good teacher, but I’d rather do than teach. I don’t mind showing people things I know that they want to know, though.

Tara also styled my bangs before we left and did a nice job.

While Tara was here Ellie came over and asked if I wanted to go swimming.

I took a walk over to my new apartment and asked the girl who’s been living there if I could take a quick glance at it, and she said that’d be no problem. I can’t wait to get over there! 8 more days. The girl there has already moved all her stuff out and was in the process of cleaning. She won’t be turning in her key till Friday, though. She had a 6-month lease and really enjoyed it there and said it was so quiet and Jeff and Andi are never home. I hope they don’t move out and that a guy like Mark moves in next door. Or someone below me to bitch about my music.

The peephole is even higher than the one here. This girl is at least 5‘5” or taller and she can’t even reach it. I’ll have to have them lower it.

The best part of it is when you look out onto the patio. I have total privacy and there’s a tree surrounding it. The cool thing about it is that it looks like this tree is part of the apartment. Sort of like having a wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling mural of a tree, only this is a real tree.

What perfect luck and timing. Andy said that was the studio he wanted. If I had my pick of all 12 of the 2nd-floor studios here, this one would be the one I’d pick.

Andy moved in last June into a 1-bedroom. Last February he transferred to a studio. However, next June I believe he’ll go back to a 1-bedroom.

[space-helen]

Hiii Helen!! I love getting ships so I gotta ask for one please! Marvel, idc if its male or female (pls not tony or steve though lol I love them but just not them pls)

Here's some basic info as I try not to over share...

female. mid 20s. irish. bilingual (irish and english). small. brunette. blue eyes. no tattoos or piercings tho I do think some are gorgeous I just know if I got any I'd end up changing my mind then it's stuck.

im a librarian, I would love to write a book someday but I'm lazy and anything I've tried to write has sucked ass lol. I particularly enjoy gothic literature. I legitimately believe music is one of God's greatest gifts, like hello-Ray Charles, FATM, Nightwish. I listen to all kinds of music, love love love jazz and blues and cutesy 40s music. Kylie Minogues album 'disco' is everything! I also adore tøp!! as mildly embarrassing as this I truly believe marshall mathers (yes em lol) is a literary legend-his command of words like honestly bravo 👏 although for some lyrics I do have to take my earphones out cuz I don't particularly wanna hear some of that, yikes sir, also somehow he kinda feels like a comic book character. I enjoy comics too mostly batman because of watching btas as a kid I just get comfort vibes from anything batsy related.

I collect vintage clothing, I adore the 20s/30s hair and fashion although the only vintage hair I can do on myself is 40s pin curls but I got some wave combs to practise 20s finger waves. I like a lot of varying fashion, some style icons are Judy Garland, Morticia Adams, 60s Barbra Streisand and Ana Taylor Joy that one time she wore that vintage 20s wedding dress she looked like an etheral undead princess it was so cool!

Hobbies are reading-mostly fanfic tbh Sewing/Embroidery, I really wanna learn dress making but I suck on a sewing machine, late evening walks alone, drinking tea and daydreaming, rewatching comfort things like b99, Gotham, Penelope, Ice Princess, Sabrina, BTAS- I don't really do much tbh I'm pretty boring, free time outside work is spent either alone with music or hanging out with my family

I have said a whole lot of nothing but hopefully you can scrape a ship out of that

Oh also, I would ship you with the 13th Doctor, Sam Wilson, & leonard mccoy (apologies if you don't like any of those characters, I was going off of vibes)

💙

Thank you for my ships!!!

Ok I kinda have two but automatically I went to Wanda (the other was Bucky). I think she'd think you're super cool and would absolutely adore listening to you talk about books or music. She'd absolutely help you expand your vintage fashion collections and would help you learn more vintage hairstyles and even let you practice on her. She'd love to curl up next to you as you did any of your hobbies and would actively take an interest in them as well. I just picture her with a huge smile on her face all of the time.

[fernweh-s]

Watching him grow unhinged is my fav, n that smile with his son ahhhhh I can’t wait for the next season. the dude that plays him does it so naturally that his unhinged smile alone sends chills down my spine.

Omfg no way I just googled it to see when Netflix was gonna be dropping that. This just made my day.

Metal event really dragged but ya know they hadda connect a lotta dots for it to make sense so I get it from a writers perspective.

Dawn breakers oath sent chills down my spine when I first read it n when he surpassed the limiter freakin amazing. I remember gripping the novel hard as hell when I got to that part.

They truly fumbled the bag with Doombreaker. There was just nothing really new done with that character they coulda done a lot more.

Also I haven’t started reading it yet, but there’s this sci-fi comic called 8 Billion Genies n I’m so excited to read it cuz the concept is so unique.

Your gonna want a shark tooth necklace after watching n chanting it’s name

Lmaooo, yeah!! Antony Starr really knocks it out of the park it with the unhinged smile, literally A+ for him there. Honestly when I first started watching the show I wasn't completely sold on him as Homelander, but now?? Now I'm like "Yeah no he's perfect." I'm SO hyped for this next season.

Yeah!! As far as I know there's no confirmed air date yet, but it's super exciting to even just know that it's something that's going to be in the works.

Lmao yeah that is true, there was a LOT of things to tie together. From a reader POV tho...OOF. I am still a little salty though that the Batman who Laughs got so much focus/was made the main big bad of the event, esp when they had literal bat god of the dark multiverse Barbatos; who, personally, I absolutely lOVED the concept of+how he tied into Batman becoming Batman—not to mention the Dark Knights event before metals kicked off with him as the true big bad behind everything...and then in Metals they literally just chained him in the basement of Castle bat, and then took BwL and made him god-level by turning him into the Darkest Knight. Like!! There was ALREADY an evil bat god!! 😭 The BwL didn't have to do through that whole weird transformation where they took his brain and put it into Batmanhattan for him to become the Darkest Knight, lmao.

But yess!! It was honestly SO cool seeing that the Dawnbreaker's willpower was literally sO strong that he was able to overpower the GL ring, and warp it into s/t dark.

Lmao yeah. Honestly, I find Doombreaker to be, one of the lesser interesting of Superman's villains, but, you would think that by mashing him up with Batman, they could have really done something with that version of him at least to make him more interesting and they just... really didn't. All the rest of the Dark Knights were at least marginally cool concepts and then were was...him. He really didn't stand out in comparison to any of the others.

I've read 8 Billion Genies! I quite liked it!

Lmaooo.

[skeetlebeetle]

batman works alone. except for robin. and robin. and robin. and robin. and girl robin. and jim gordon. and harvey dent before he’s two-face. and alfred. actually i think there’s another girl robin now.

[fancyfade]

ok so misc damian characterization thoughts

it actually is related to 2 things, mostly characterizing new earth damian with the later stuff added in batman and robin 2011 and robin: son of batman... this means i KNOW that it does not match authorial intent i’m not trying to say “this is what the authors intended” it’s just working with the version of the character that i like best (the one written by gleason) and other instances of the character

first, I feel like Damian’s a kid right? He’s all srs now, presumably had to GET more serious on the year of blood where he was obviously super worn down and doing it mostly out of obligation...

but when he was younger, he presumably would have tried to have fun. yeah i know stephanie is like “he doesn’t know how to have fun 😭” in her batgirl solo but a) I already said yes he’s super srs business NOW when he’s like 9 years old but being told “your final training is complete you’re ready for anything” b) in an undercover situation, with backup he doesn’t trust yet, there’s no way he’s going to be relaxed enough to try actually playing and also he doesn’t know these kids.

anyway so even tho i imagine he probably didn’t get bought a ton of toys (and if talia did buy him toys, he probably would be too embarrassed to play with them once he becomes more conscious of the expectations he has) but like.... kids can have fun with anything. it doesn’t have to be a toy or a video game. so wondering how damian might have had fun in the league. I think it mostly would have been with Talia (he doesn’t know how to play with kids his age but he presumably knows how to play with his mom :P). i also headcanon his voice mimickry talent as something that he started just genuinely for fun (perhaps to annoy someone he doesn’t like 😂)

similar train of thought wrt characterization taht I know was not intended by the author but i feel like *I* like better:

in B&R 2009 there’s a moment where Damian seems genuinely surprised dick saved him. i know this was probably intended as morrison being like “damian isn’t used to anyone caring about him because talia is evil” but even EXCLUDING later stuff, we don’t really need damian’s surprise to be because no one’s ever cared about him before or whatever.

I guess cuz it was a weird crossover plotline, Resurrection of Ra’s Al Ghul isn’t normally taken into consideration in B&R (even tho i’m pretty sure morrison also wrote on it?) but it makes perfect sense for Damian to not expect Dick to care about him if you remember he just got betrayed by his grandfather he was working for his whole life and hunted down by the organization he was raised in! That would shatter anyone’s trust let alone a 10 year old kid’s. Yes, Talia was in his corner* but that doesn’t mean that being betrayed by his grandfather and the rest of what represented his childhood isn’t going to hurt. of course he’s not going to expect dick, some guy he just met who doesn’t even seem to like him, to care about him a ton

anyway so i know none of this is probably what the authors intended while they were writing, since the batgirl thing was informed more by what happened after it was actually written, it’s just more of how i characterize him and mesh some of the early stuff with the later stuff

*actually :P okay this is again nothing that was intended by the authors, just me trying to attribute meaning to 300 different writers and a bunch of different canons, but I feel like Damian being kind of bratty to Talia almost makes sense with this in mind like he doesn’t have to always 100 percent regulate his emotions or put on perfect behavior because she’s actually consistent and there for him so he’s not at risk of losing her love... OR could even be like (unconsciously, i don’t think it’d be something he knows he’s doing) “better make sure my mom actually loves me and not just the idea of me/obedient me... time to act like a brat”

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Defending Peter Parker (Round 2: Tom Holland)

Here <- Andrew Garfield

Soooooo I'm doing this cuz I'm bored to show y'all how dumb some of your arguments and criticisms of the live action spidermen are. I did Garfield already. I'll do Maguire if someone shows me where people have hated on his spidey cuz all I ever see for him is people treating him like he's the most perfect Peter Parker to ever exist. I'd never tell anyone how they're "supposed" to feel about a situation so I won't do that and also don't take this seriously I'm just a dumb teenager. I'm just taking the dumb opinions y'all like to pass as fact and rebutting them with actual facts.

"hE's OnLy So PoPuLaR bEcAuSe He'S hOt"

😐If this is your main critique of Tom Holland's spiderman, pls go find another one. This is so overused. The "they're only famous cuz they're hot" excuse has been used for every hot actor/actress ever. At this point, it isn't even real criticism, you just come off as lame. And yeah, alot of people like him because he's hot, but that's definitely not the only reason.

"hE's NoT sPiDeRmAn. He'S iRoNbOy!"

UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH okay let's get to it. (If you can't tell, I really hate this argument)

1) Let's be real. The fandom pushed irondad wayyyy more than the actual movies did.

2) If you still use this argument after Far From Home, you missed the whole point of what FFH was supposed to be.

I was scrolling through tumblr and I saw a great point that someone made.

That entire movie was about him coming into his own as a hero, facing his problems head-on, and dealing with the threat by himself. That was the point of the whole movie. Yes, he had the Stark tech to help him make a suit, but he designed it himself, and then he went up against a threat that had incredibly powerful Stark tech at their disposal and still won. By himself. Everyone was asking who the next Iron Man would be and Happy even flat out said "You're not Iron Man." Because he isn't. He came into his own. He is established now.

Peter started the movie a bit lost without Tony and just wanting to deny his responsibilities and get away for a while.

He ended the movie finally accepting himself for who he was and even having to fight against Stark technology. He had to rely on himself and instead of worrying about this title that's been put on him, he has to just go with his own instincts (all the way down to his web shooters running out and having to literally just rely on his mind and his body) and look his responsibilities in the face. Idk a better way for him to have broken out of being "ironboy".

3) Plus, they needed some way to bring Spiderman into the MCU. And Tony is practically the MCU's Bruce Wayne when it comes to "adopting" children. Of course he was gonna be the one to bring him in.

"He HaS tOo MaNy MeNtOrS! tHeY nEeD tO sToP hOlDiNg HiM bAcK aNd LeT hIm GrOw Up AnD bE aLoNe!"

Hahaha no.

Tony- okie dokie that's only one

Happy- Happy Hogan is not Peter's mentor. He literally helped him out in ONE scene. That is not enough to be a mentor.

Mysterio- He is also not a mentor. Storywise, he was Peter's scapegoat to caste his responsibilities onto because he didn't want them/feel he was worthy of them. And then later he was a villain. Just because the two have one small pep talk, doesn't mean he's a mentor.

I think most ppl that say this stuff really just don't want Peter to have any help. What you guys fail to realize is that getting help does not make you any less of a hero. You can still be a solo hero and get a peptalk every now and then. Batman, Superman, Ironman. They all get help from people in their movies and I don't see anyone complaining about it or saying they need to be alone.

Also, grow up? This dude is literally a sophmore/junior in high school. They talk so much about how he's literally a kid. Alot of the spiderman comics take place with him still being in high school. He doesn't have to be an adult. And as far as maturity goes, it's not like he's a dumb kid. He's just a teen doing what teens do.

"nO uNcLe BeN!"

Come on guys. How many times have we seen this origin story? We all know it.

The story takes place when he's ALREADY spiderman so Uncle Ben is ALREADY dead. (They even have his suitcase in FFH). Just because they don't really mention it doesn't mean it didn't happen. We don't need to see the same origin story again. I mean, does every Batman movie mention Bruce's parents dying in the alley? No. Cuz we all already know it does. Origin stories are integral but the MCU wasn't erasing his, they were simply just starting after it.

And in every spidey story Uncle Ben always teaches him "with great power comes great responsibility". Well if you watch the movies, MCU Peter learns his lessons in responsibilities sooooo we're covered there.

"When you can do the things that can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you."

Yeah yeah we all love Uncle Ben but him already passing doesn't mean the story's bad. That's just where they wanted to start lol.

"ThErE's No ReAl CoNsEqUeNcEs WhEn If LoSeS!"

Homecoming: If Vulture would've won, there would've been more easily accessible alien weapons available for criminals like the Shocker, the Tinkerer, etc. Also Vulture would have been a criminal loose on the streets. Regardless of his intentions, he was a guy willing to kill for what he wanted.

FFH: What Mysterio was doing, even though it was an illusion, was actually causing casualties. His workers talked about it to him over and over again. Especially if the last attack in London (i think?) would have worked, alot of people would have died. Also the world would have been tricked into depending on someone that actually couldn't really keep them safe.

Lol but regardless, Peter doesn't have to be dealing with a gigantic threat. The whole thing about being a superhero is doing what's right, regardless of how big or small the situation is. He's literally fought with the Avengers. I think he's proven himself.

All in all Tom Holland is the best (for me personally). I never have an issue when he's on screen and he's really just so awesome😊

Tagging great ppl: @allegra-writes , @yumings , @spideyyeet , @sunkissedspidey , @tommyunderoos , @chaoticpete , @sovereignparker , @thesherlockianavenger , @bubblebucky , @eridanuswave , @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9 , @gwenvrse , @the-weird-bisexual , @kelieah

[bigskydreaming]

what are your opinions on we are robin?

Massively complicated by the fact that DC's writers don't have an ACAB bone in their collective bodies.

Dunno how new to my blog you are and thus how familiar or not you are with my ACAB stance for Dick and my personal tendency to never acknowledge or interact with the specific idea of Dick as a cop...like there's more than enough material for me to work with without ever having to delve into that and I fundamentally believe being a cop is counter to everything I see as Dick's core premise and makes no sense given the specific origins and continuities I view as most 'him' -

But I WOULD have a lot of thoughts about how Dick would feel about this massive city-wide movement that he had no hand in creating and how he would inevitably feel personally responsible for every life to put on a facscimile of his family's costume AND the things they did in those costumes (such as the kid who was manipulated into killing someone while in that guise, per the Court of Owls' agenda).....

AND I would have a ton of thoughts about the fact that it was Alfred who secretly engineered this movement and how he of all people should know how Dick might feel about that, and thus how Dick WOULD feel about that information, but complicated and coupled with the fact that Alfred most certainly was motivated in part by his grief for Dick and seeing this as a kind of legacy, a way to honor his grandson, and able to justify to himself any transgressions towards Dick's feelings here with the idea that Dick wasn't alive TO be hurt by his actions here....

BUT the reason I avoid engaging with We Are Robin content beyond acknowledging it as Duke's origin story in the background of Duke content I write....

Is I absolutely can not - or more to the point - WILL NOT - attempt to justify Dick's decision to get all the kids arrested and locked up for their own safety while he went after the Court alone.

To be clear - I absolutely am of the opinion that Dick was and always will be right and justified in not wanting to see anyone get hurt in the colors and image of his family's legacy. That this has absolutely NOTHING to do with his impression of any such individual's competency, nor is it about trying to restrict their agency. That its wholly a PERSONAL thing for him, its a private instinct that is entirely reasonable and allowable, for him to have a kneejerk need to keep more people from dying or suffering in that specific mantle that he never intended to BE a legacy beyond just himself.

I headcanon that after Jason himself, nobody hated the memorial in the cave more than Dick, because the last image he had of his family was them lying dead on the ground of the circus ring, just broken bodies colored from high above in the classic Grayson colors and covered in blood. That THAT specifically is the image Dick so often saw in his nightmares in his early years in the Manor, that is the SPECIFIC visual Bruce so often comforted him about upon waking....and that it was a massive slap in the face and an indication of Bruce's most unfortunate tunnel-vision tendencies in his own grief, that it never even OCCURRED to Bruce that in memorializing Jason in the specific way he did, he was also subjecting Dick to a constant, ever present visual reminder of one of Dick's personal most traumatic images....the sight and idea of his family, now not just his parents but also his brother....reduced to just broken, bloody costumes he'd never get to see as anything but that again.

Not to mention then captioning this memorial with "a good soldier" and thus in the process of disrespecting Jason's true bond with Bruce, simply because Bruce couldn't handle that at the time and was trying to literally DISTANCE himself from that view of his loss, the loss of a son, of family....Bruce simultaneously disrespected Dick's legacy of his family and everything he'd created Robin to be, and envisioned Jason-as-Robin to be from the moment Dick gave Jason his own old costume and embraced him as the new Robin and by extension, HIS family as much as Bruce's.....like, no matter what Bruce intended for HIMSELF and his feelings about Jason's death with that caption, he literally reduced Dick's tribute to his parents and expression of brotherhood to his brother to.....nothing more than the uniform of a child soldier, a subordinate of the Batman in HIS personal crusade. Something that Jason never actually was, and Dick CERTAINLY had never created - or gave Jason his blessing as - Robin to be.

So on that front, I have no problem with Dick WANTING to keep all the Robins, every child who called themselves one, safe - and to take on the Court of Owls alone, by himself, because like it or not, that will ALWAYS be personal for him. That is about HIS family in a way that it will never be about the family, the heritage, of anyone else, even his adopted siblings. The Court were after HIM, specifically, and always were and always would be. I don't see anything hypocritical about Dick's desire to keep kids out of that fight when he himself would have never been okay with Bruce benching him as Robin in some random fight....because this fight is deeply personal for Dick in a way that's not transferable, and to be honest, I see his desire to keep anyone else from dying as a Robin, in a fight against the Court ESPECIALLY....I see it as an inherently selfish want of Dick's. 

A selfishness that I think he's entirely justified in having. Its not about anyone but him. Its about HIM not having to deal with the burden of any more deaths in his family's colors, his family's name, when he in all likelihood originally created Robin in that particular guise because he figured he'd likely die as Robin at some point, and thus he'd never have to see anyone die in the image of his family's costume and colors ever again because the only person left TO die in them, at the time, was he himself.....thus kinda ensuring for Dick that when he did die, he'd go out just as his parents did, which in his youth at least was likely a weirdly kinda comforting idea for him.

So on the one hand, Dick's desire to keep the kids out of harm's way was ultimately a selfish - but justifiably so - desire to not see anyone else dead or injured in a literal WAR of CHILDREN being fought in his personal family colors and image....especially when 99% of them had literally no idea what the colors they were fighting in signified and meant for the mantle's original creator.

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT.

Where this all falls apart for me, and why I don't just go with this take and instead just kinda sidestep around the whole story itself and don't engage with it....

Is there's absolutely no way to 'fix' the story as is.....without coming up with an entirely different middle climax, in which Dick finds some way to sideline the kids without getting them all arrested.

Cuz see, what I'm NOT gonna ever do, is try and argue from an in story perspective, that Dick would ever be stupid enough, or try to justify, getting kids - many of them marginalized, and people of color specifically - arrested in the name of keeping them SAFE.

That's just stupid to the nth degree, and unilaterally the fault of DC's writers being oblivious to the real-world realities of police brutality and the interactions and dynamic people of color have with the actual police.

It was DC's fuck-up there, but I - especially as a white writer and fan - am not going to try and fix or transform that fuck up short of entirely rewriting the whole second half of We Are Robin's plot, which to be honest, I don't see as likely to ever be a priority for me as there's so much other content in Dick's narratives I'd rather get to first. Its just way too far down the list, the premise itself doesn't interest or engage me enough to make me WANT to invest in that particular story heavily enough to create a whole other direction for it, that navigates around the issue I have with it here.

So again, I mostly just....don't engage with it. Because I can't see Dick's stance on the issue of his family's legacy ever being other than what I always see it as, and thus see it as here, but I'm definitely never going to find it appropriate to write Dick trying to justify his decision to ENGINEER the police arresting all these kids for their PROTECTION....to a black character like Duke in specific.

Because its not. But again, this wasn't Dick's decision at the end of the day, because he's a fictional character who can only make the decisions he's written making. And thus it was the decision of writers who wrote these characters in situations that contained analogues to real world issues without keeping centered an awareness of how those issues intersect with people of different identities, particularly people of color and black people in specific.

So its not a decision that made me like, dislike Dick, because its one that I don't think he should have ever been written making, but its not a decision I care to justify in universe.

And that's about all I think I ever intend to - or even could - expand on that subject, I'm pretty sure. *Shrugs*

Oh wait, no, I lied!

Quick thought for white fans in particular....because I HAVE seen this subject tackled at least once or twice in fiction, from an ACAB standpoint that had Duke reaming out Dick for his decision here, for the same reasons I'm outlining above.....

This isn't an attempt to gatekeep or police anybody as like, I'm not actually ever trying to do that, I'd have to know every fic writer's personal identity and marginalizations TO do that, and I'm not pretending to know that or asking to, like, its just not on the menu for me so please don't get me wrong, this is purely aimed at a plea for white writers in particular to exercise personal accountability and good, sincere judgment in this regard:

No matter your personal feelings about Dick Grayson, the subject of Robin, or any of this in general, PLEASE keep in mind before utilizing Duke as a mouthpiece for giving Dick shit for this in the name of smearing the latter's character or making him look bad, like.....

Dick is of Romani descent. In the New 52 continuity as well as pre-Flashpoint. That's been made explicitly clear, and as such......there is no substitute in our current real world zeitgeist for the interactions the police have with black people, but please keep in mind that Romani people have a very, VERY long history of being subject to police brutality and persecution in a wide range of countries. Its a big part of why so many people are so uncomfortable with cop!Dick in the first place, and as such, it makes treating him as this naive, privileged white guy when having the realities of police brutality explained to him by another character, like.....not look exactly like you might intend there, because the reality is he's not SUPPOSED to be that character, but too few people at DC, and ESPECIALLY the people writing the We Are Robin stories, like, completely fail to ever extend the idea of Dick being Romani to any kind of examination of what kinds of lived experiences, perspective or perceptions this results in him having specifically.

And that's a failure on DC's part, but you don't need to go making it your failure as well, so for those of us who are white like, this really is something that should be kept centered before we decide to engage with story elements like the above one from We Are Robin, and like, if we do, then HOW we go about that specifically.

[thewriting-corner]

Writing voice

Long time no see, am I right? Sorry about that! Full time jobs… 10x times harder than the 100x level of hardness I expected when it comes to having a life. If any of you have a full time job and a life, I applaud you cuz jeez.

Anyway, the other day at work I started a post on writing voice and I was really enjoying it! And then some calls happened, I forgot and here I am redoing the whole thing lol. Enjoy!

What is it

First of all, what is voice? Aside from that sound that comes out of our mouths when we speak, it’s the way we talk that makes us us. Personally, I define voice as the thing that differentiates us from reading an encyclopedia (though having read lots of encyclopedias when I was younger I can tell you some authors definitely let their voice shine). Voice makes us different from one another.

Say, what makes Superman and Batman different? They’re both attractive men who put on capes to fight crime, lost their parents and pretend everyday to be someone they’re not. BUT, they have different morals. To Superman, saving people is the ultimate goal no matter what. But to Batman, what matters is justice. Superman’s parents died so Superman could live. He represents hope. Bruce Wayne, on the other hand, had to watch his parents die with fear, and therefore used fear as the primary weapon of his alter ego. This key in their characters is what makes up their voice, meaning what makes them unique from one another despite having many things in common.

How to develop it

Now that all that has been established, you may be having some questions like, “Oh, the all powerful, wise Lu! But how do I develop voice?” For me, this happens in two different processes: one for main characters, one for the rest.

Note: voice takes time. Some people are really good at nailing a main character’s voice in the first draft while others may take a few more drafts to get it, and a few more to nail the side characters’ voices. Don’t feel that you HAVE to nail character voice in the first, second or even third draft. Even published authors take over five rewrites to start hearing the main character’s voice.

Main characters

- Write diary entries OR scenes in first person. Write an extra scene or diary entry of a specific moment in their life/book. How do they feel? How has the plot been affecting them? What things hide in their mind besides the plot?

- Compare myself to the MC. This sounds stupid, but I like to think about how my MCs would react differently to me in certain situations. For instance, if I’m at a party, I know Marty and I would both feel insanely awkward, but while she may go hide in a corner, I’d go to the food and drinks table and use ✨adult drinks✨ to calm down (also because I’d likely get anxious and Marty wouldn’t).

This also applies to book/plot related stuff. I know that if I were the MC in my WIP, I would have never followed the Superhuman League. I would have never had the courage to kiss the love interest. It would’ve taken me MONTHS to get used to the Superhumans. Because Marty and I have very different ways of being brought up, different childhoods, different traumas, our voices become different. There are times where she says things in situations where I can’t even imagine myself speaking. Comparing how you and your MC would act helps detach ourselves from them (meaning, not having them be 100% a self insert) while also getting to know them better.

- Think how a song relates to a certain aspect of their life. Take your own playlist and put it on shuffle. Whatever song it lands on think: could the MC relate to this? If yes, how? If not, how? Would they dance to this song? If yes, would they dance alone in their room or with a friend? Maybe they would dance it at their wedding or their best friend’s wedding. Maybe it’s the song they want to die for. Instead of listening to songs according to how you, the author, places them in the story, listen to them like you’re the main character and the song played on the radio.

- Ask questions about their life. How did X event affect them? What happened in their life before the start of the book? Don’t just focus on things that relate to the story or are useful plot wise: think about the first time they crossed the monkey bars and the first time they saw their parents fight. While these may not relate directly to the plot, knowing who your character is before, at the beginning and during the book helps you work out who they are and who they will become (I’ll touch more on this later)

Side characters

- Write diary entries OR scenes from a different POV. One of the ways I finally started figuring out the voice of Kate, one of my favorite characters in my WIP, I wrote a bunch of scenes prior to the plot of the book in first person. I wrote about the Superhuman League through her eyes and about her in high school. I discovered a lot of things writing that that now help me see how she reacts to the current events of the WIP. In my first draft, I had her act according to how I needed the story to move along. Now, after getting to know her a little better, I can edit scenes with how she as a human would react instead of a plot device.

- Life outside the plot. Okay, so side characters are not supposed to be the in the starlight so maybe we tend to leave them to the side. BUT, knowing who they are outside of the story is helpful to make them human. Yes, maybe they’re just plot devices to the MC, but in their story, they are the main character. The plot is happening to them as much as it happens to the MC

- Along with the last point, how would the story play out if they were the MC? Who would be the villain? How would they deal with the tough choices? Would they agree with the MC or would they be an adversary? If they were the MC, what would the plot of the book be? I say this because different people and characters have different goals.

Another example from my WIP lol: for Marty, her goal is to uncover Chaos. Subconsciously she sees helping the Superhuman League as a way to make up for best friend’s death. To her, the end goal is to defeat the Primordials to redeem herself and use her “dangerous” powers for good. However, for Aaron, the point of the plot is to defeat the Primordials so he can finally leave his home without feeling as though he abandoned his duties. Unlike Marty, who is desperate to stay, his main goal is to leave. That’s what drives him, and this drive is what has helped me develop his voice in the past two drafts (because he was a VERY flat character before).

The most important thing to remember when developing voice, regardless of if it’s for a main or a side character, is that they are more than just the plot. You need to think of your characters as real people with hopes and dreams. In their world, they weren’t born to be a Character in a story. They were born to be a human.

How does it work

Okay, so let’s say you know your characters well enough and you’ve written a few drafts already. How does this actually work? The most obvious is to integrate it into dialogue. We express the most through words and it’s easiest to show voice through how they say things, when they say it and why they say them. BUT you can also incorporate it into actions. A character who YOU (the author) know has a fear of dogs wouldn’t stop to pet one in the street because the owner will be important later on. Instead, maybe they’ll inch away and jump if the dog barks at them. This can also make the owner of the dog apologize, therefore introducing him to the story.

The only problem with integrating voice later on is that it requires a lot of editing. I’ve had to delete entire chapters because I developed Marty’s voice and some events didn’t align with who she was, they were only there for plot reasons. In a lot of my older drafts, Marty appeared “unstable” and changed her mind a lot. This was because she didn’t have a clear voice in my head so instead I had her do things that were convenient for me as the writer. Still, it’s annoying but it’s gratifying.

Don’t become obsessed

I will say, it’s easy to know all these details and become obsessed with every character speaking and acting perfectly according to their backstory. To this I say that people sometimes act out of character as well. Different factors influence us all the time and make us do things we wouldn’t normally do, so don’t feel obligated to perfectly nail the voice. It’s okay if characters deviate from who they are sometimes, so long as they aren’t constantly changing and contradicting who they’ve been the entire time.

[catzula]

Hi❤️❤️ I'd like to request Shoto whose friendly s/o is really into Halloween and wants to do matching outfits together. Idk it's spooky season and I'd love to see todobb living it ☺️☺️ thank u for ur work ❤️❤️💕💕

A/N: ahh- this was really nice! Thank you for your request, I consulted my best friend for the costume ideas and we had the time of our lives trying to come up with them

So, umm, I really hope you guys like it, this is the second time I ever wrote for Todoroki, so I probably should work on it a bit more, but I think it turned out well!

Warnings: I think there’s none but I can’t be sure since Bakugou is here heh

Word count: 4k cuz I have no self control

Genre: fluff!

A cursed kiss-

"Aizawa sensei gave us green light!" Mina exclaimed as she entered the class, visibly skipping. Kaminari punched the air with victory. These were the words that caused everyone to jump in their seats in excitement.

"He did?" Ochako didn't lose a second and ran towards her to get details, the rest of the class wasn't any better, either. Even Bakugou was up on his feet, trying to look as uninterested as he could.

The social butterfly that she is, Mina obviously had no problems with having a crowd around her. "He said he would kill us if he caught any of us with alcohol." She muttered, and Kaminari visibly deflated. "Oh, man, there goes the chance to get lightweight Bakugou drunk!"

"Hagh, who you calling lightweight?! You were the one who got drunk with a beer! One Beer!" He shot back, the class erupting with laughter at the memory of Kaminari. Even Shouto snickered quietly.

"Whats going on?" You finally stood up, pulling your hand out from the warm hands of your boyfriends. When he pouted at the sudden lack of contact and locked his eyes on his hand that just had your hand in it, you sent an apologetic smile his way. "I'll just learn whats up and will be right back, 'kay?"

You walked towards the big crowd, Mina being the first to spot you. "I see you could finally get separated from your boyfriend." She commented with a grin, her words causing your face to warm up and your friends to giggle.

"I wanted a front seat of Kaminari getting burned." You answered, making the said boy frown. "Hey, that's mean!" He exclaimed, but his protests just seemed to fuel the fun Kirishima and Sero were having.

"So, what's really happening?" You asked, ignoring the pout Kaminari was sending your way.

"We're throwing a Halloween party!" Yaoyorozu answered, and the boys cheered with excitement.

"We are? How did you even convince Aizawa sensei?" You asked in disbelief, causing Mina to chuckle mysteriously. "I have my ways." She told you smugly, though you were aware it was just another way of saying 'I didn't give him any rest until he said yes.'

"Ooh, this is gonna be great! Right, Baku?" Kirishima muttered, nudging Bakugou slightly and earning a glare. "I don't care about a stupid party, what are you, five?"

Even if he had a scoff on his lips, you all knew better and were aware that he was as excited as the rest of you were.

"I have a really original costume idea, you know." Kaminari told the group with a proud smile on his face, though instead of getting the curious attention he expected, he just heard snickers.

"How much do you wanna bet on him coming as Pikachu?" Kirishima whispered to Sero, both giggling uncontrollably when Kaminari's eyes widened with shock. "How did you know?!"

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Tapping the pencil that was in your hands to the paper that laid in front of you, you sighed, feeling the steam coming out of your ears, even though you couldn't even finish the first question.

"Babe, what should we do for Halloween?" You looked at Shouto, who was sitting on his desk, focused on the math homework in front of him, having no problems with it, unlike you. You bit your lip, it sometimes amazed you how handsome he was.

"What do you mean, isn't there a party?" He asked, laying his pencil down and looking at you with a confused look on his face that you just found adorable.

You giggled -suppressing the urge to pinch his cheeks.- "Yeah, baby, I meant as what costume we should do." You had to admit, this was one of the many reasons you couldn't focus on the paper in front of you, since the second you heard about the party, it was the only thing that swarmed in your mind.

"Oh." He said softly. "Do we have to wear costumes?"

"Of course we do!" You told him, shocked. "And- we should do a couples costume, too!" He tilted his head slightly to the left, something you often saw him doing.

"We can do that?"

The question had you waiting to kiss him and/or bang your head to the wall. "Not only can, but we also have to do it." When his confused expression didn't change, you sighed. "I love Halloween and wearing costumes, and it's really fun! And since this is our first Halloween... I thought it would be cute if we went wearing matching costumes."

You stood up in need to be closer to him, and as always, he greeted you with open arms. Even though he wasn't big on showing affection in public, and usually just held your hand, he was just a big baby when you were alone. But then again, you had no complaints, whatsoever.

"I see you're very excited about this." He mumbled into your hair, and you smiled. "I am, baby, and you should be too! It's my favorite season, and all my best memories were on Halloween! Oh, come on, didn't you have any amazing or really scary adventures as a kid in Halloween?" You exclaimed, threading your fingers through his two-colored locks.

"Actually- don't answer that." You corrected yourself when he sent a blank look your way.

"But still, I think you're gonna love it, too! Okay, enough talk of how amazing Halloween is, let's think. Any suggestions?"

"Can you give me an example?" He asked after staying silent for a second or so. "Oh, umm, something like Batman and Catwoman, but let's not do that." You added before he agreed to it.

"Oh, that's not scary, though, is it?" He muttered and smiled when you giggled. "It doesn't have to be scary, it's really just an excuse to wear costumes." When he nodded but didn't say anything you raised your brows. "Any ideas?"

"Umm... Matching costumes." He muttered, scratching his head. "Like- sun and moon?"

"Sun and moon?" You repeated, and the image of you wearing round costumes making you grimace a little. The smallest smile tugged on his lips as his eyes examined your expression. "Cause you're my sunshine."

Even though it was cheesy as hell, it was worth seeing the shocked look on your face that melted into an embarrassed, cute smile, he thought.

"Okay," you muttered, hiding your flushed face from him. "I added that to the list."

"I can't think of anything, let's look at Pinterest." You stood up and laid on the bed, and it didn't take long for him to follow you. He laid right next to you, arms wrapping around you and his head dropping to your shoulder, his two-colored eyes on your phone screen, looking at your Pinterest feed that was full of costume ideas.

"That looks nice." He pointed at the angel-devil costumed couple. He loved to see how your lip rolled in, nose crinkling with thought. "I thought it was really nice, too. Added to the list, but let's keep looking- OH MY GOD, SHOU!" You suddenly exclaimed with the idea that suddenly popped into your head, excitedly pulling yourself up into a sitting position, making his arms that were around you to fall back on the bed.

"I have the best costume idea for you!" You told him, and even though he had no idea what it was that got you so excited, he couldn't stop smiling either.

"How about- How about going as Zuko?!" He stood silent for a few seconds, his brows furrowing slightly in thought. "Zuko? I'm not sure if I can pull it off, though."

Your eyes widened in disbelief. "Shouto, you guys are practically the same people. It's one of the many reasons I agreed to date you, you know." You teased, but you should have known better.

"It is?" He asked, his hand going to his scar almost immediately. His lips turned down into a frown, he looked so hurt it made your heart ache. "B-baby, I was just kidding." You told him and got closer to him, but frowned when he pulled away.

"Shou?" You called out, cupping the scarred side of his face and leaned in to press a soft kiss on his cheek when his frown didn't go away. His eyes were avoiding yours, the feeling of him hurt making your heart ache, "Baby, I really didn't mean it!" You repeated, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing one more kiss to his cheek.

You searched for his eyes, and even though his frown wasn't gone, your eyes met his two-colored eyes that were bright with a mischievous glint.

"I think I'm gonna need more than that." He muttered, the frown turning to a smirk, and his face leaned forward, reaching for your lips. You gasped, finally understanding he was teasing you the whole time.

"Shouto," You protested. "I really thought I hurt you!"

"Ah, but you did." He told you, the smirk only growing when he felt your irritated gaze. "You broke my heart." His words caused you to narrow your eyes, and you frowned.

"You will pay for that, you know." You told him, and just as his lips ghosted on yours, you pulled back with a playful smile. His smile dropped almost instantly when he couldn't kiss you, a pout forming on his lips.

"What do you think about the Zuko costume?" You asked, ignoring the pout of your needy boyfriend. His eyes stared at you for a few seconds, probably expecting you to finally kiss him, but when you didn't he sighed.

"Let's try it." He answered, and you squealed with excitement. "Okay, let's do his best lines. Say- 'I'm never happy.' But with a frown, 'kay?"

His brows furrowed slightly, but he obliged anyway. "Like this?" He asked with a small smile after doing the part flawlessly but pouted when he noticed you weren't even looking at him, but instead looking at your phone screen and hiding your face from him.

His brows furrowed when he couldn't meet your eyes. "Did I do it- wait, are you blushing?" His blunt question didn't help either. "I'm not- I'm not blushing! Just keep doing it." You protested. "Can you say, 'The scar is not on the wrong side!'' He was about to do it when you stopped him, and he noticed how the fangirl in you suddenly took control.

"No, no, actually, can you say 'Hello, Zuko here.' Oh, and- and-" He raised his brows when you suddenly stopped talking -you were choking on your words-, now visibly blushing.

"And?" He pressed, amused by the deer caught in the headlights look you were giving him.

"Could you say... Umm... could you say 'You're so beautiful when you hate the world'?" Your voice was so low that Shouto was sure he couldn't have heard you if he wasn't listening very closely.

"You're so beautiful when you hate the world." He repeated in a low voice that sent goosebumps down your spine. Your eyes widened, feeling like your heart was going to stop in any second.

"Oh my god, Shou." You gulped, hiding your face in his neck since you could feel your cheeks burning, and you just couldn't face him. "I'm starting to think that you weren't joking when you told me you were dating me because I'm so similar to Zuko." He teased with a laugh.

"Don't tease me!" You protested, "Zuko is my first crush."

"That's rough, buddy." He muttered in your hair, just for the sake of hearing you squirming like this.

"I say no to you going as Zuko." You muttered, still hiding your face in his chest.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

"Are you sure you don't want me to go as Zuko?" He asked, apparently never going to stop teasing you about it. Just replaying the memory in your head caused your cheeks to burn, and he was well aware of that, too.

You had finally agreed on the devil-angel costume. As cliche as it was, it was still a really cute idea. Shouto had worn a simple black shirt and a burgundy jacket, and no matter how simple he was wearing, he still looked too handsome. He had plastic red devil horns located between his different colored messy locks, and he held a long, red trident. You shuddered as his eyes roamed over your body, eyes darkening a shade.

"You know, maybe you should wear this more often." He whispered as you walked towards the party. "What, this?" You raised your brows. You hadn't worn anything special either, just a white summer dress -you would have frozen to death if it wasn't for your boyfriends really practical quirk- and angel wings you had found for 5 dollars.

"Y-yeah." He muttered, turning his face away from you. Huh, you thought, look how the tables have turned. "You like my dress, baby?" You asked, and he bit his lip nervously, looking away.

"It looks nice." He fixed his horns and cleared his throat, well aware of how you stopped mid-track and how your face was getting closer to his inch by inch. "Yeah?" You whispered, and just as he was about to kiss you-

"Oh, get a room, you two!" You heard someone call out, making you jump in your place and ruining the moment. It was Sero wearing a spiderman costume, and Mina- she wore an oddly realistic Sailor Moon costume- and was snickering right behind the Spiderman.

"You look devilishly handsome, Todo-kun." She told him, making you roll your eyes.

"Where are the others?" You asked, and she pointed to the room that opened to the living room. "They already started. I can't tell you how hard it was to convince Bakugou to wear something other than his hero costume. He told us he was coming as the future number one hero." She rolled her eyes.

"What did he wear instead?" You asked as you opened the door, but your question was inaudible because of the banging music and chattering that left you dumbfounded for a second or so. The room smelled heavy, and the low lighting took a second for you to get used to it. There were pumpkins everywhere, toilet papers, ghosts, and fake spiders hung from the ceiling.

"Did Momo do all this?" You asked, amazed. "Yeah," Mina answered, shouting. "She's right there." She pointed at the couch that had a Shego from Kim possible, and she looked exhausted. "Oh, poor Momo, she did all the work." You muttered, but before you could go near her and thank her, a wild Pikachu appeared.

"Damn, Y/N, you look godsent!" Kaminari exclaimed when he saw you, his eyes widening, cheeks red with what you suspected to be the effects of alcohol. "What's with everyone and their bad puns today?" You muttered as you felt Shouto's arms pulling you a little closer to him. This caused you to send a quick glance at him, only to find him glaring at Kaminari. The Pikachu, who was oblivious to the cold glare he was receiving from your boyfriend, had two glasses in his hands -the glasses looked like pumpkins, and you noted in your head to go and thank Momo- "Here, drinks for the couple!" Kaminari exclaimed, slipping the cups into your hands, his wide grin causing your eyes to narrow in suspicion.

"What's in it?"

"Eh, don't worry about it and just- finish it in one go!" He told you, tapping your shoulder in a comforting concerning way. You only needed one sniff to know what it was, the strong alcohol scent causing you to grimace.

"Yeah, no." You answered, giving back the cups, which he gladly accepted. "Well then, that just means more alcohol for me!" He cheered, chugging both of the cups. Probably already forgot your existence, he walked towards the small crowd that was dancing, jamming to the music and grinning stupidly.

There was a huge pumpkin in the middle of the room, smoke coming out of it's carved eyes and mouth. People were dancing thoughtlessly around it, making it look like some twisted ritual.

Your eyes found the Sailor Moon that was dancing with Count Dracula -Tokoyami- and Spiderman, who was shooting web all around the place, the sight making you giggle.

You glanced back at your boyfriend, surprised to find him looking at you too, a soft smile on his lips. He lifted his hand without letting go of yours and pressed his lips softly on it, and he miraculously heard your little squeal of shock, despite the loud music that was shaking the decorations.

"Do you want to dance?" He muttered in your ear, leaning forward slightly and the familiar scent radiating from him making you sigh happily. "Yeah." You answered, letting him pull you to the middle of the room. His hand holding yours strongly, pulling you through the crowd, you finally found a place you could dance comfortably.

It was then when the loud music changed, a soft one replacing it instead. The sudden change caused you to look at the DJ -Shoji was supposed to be the Dj, but you locked eyes with a proud looking Ochako, instead. You noticed Shoji standing right next to her, a baffled look on his face- You sent a grateful look her way, and she answered with a bright smile.

"The song changed." Shouto commented, making you giggle.

He pulled you by your hand, causing you to lose your balance and fall towards him, he had a rare smug smile as one of his arms wrapped your waist and pulled you even closer to him.

"Gotta be careful." He muttered, his lips so close to your ear, it made you shiver, and you were sure by the smug smile that was slowly turning into a grin, that he could feel it, too.

"I'm falling for you, Shou." You teased, not expecting his cheeks to tinge pink. He leaned in, and you knew he was going to kiss you by the familiar look that was in his eyes. You had no complaints either, slightly moving on your tippy-toes, you reached towards him.

"I see the lovers are having fun." You heard someone say, the sound causing you to move away from your boyfriend, noting the way his eyes glaring coldly at the intruder. "You know, as a citizen of the most romantic city on earth, I can tell you that-"

"Go away." Shouto told the attention freak who had an emperor costume -Aoyama- without even letting him finish his sentence.

"But I was just telling you-"

"No." Shouto interrupted once again, not letting him finish his sentence. "Can you- can we talk later, Aoyama-Kun?" You told him when he looked like he was about to cry. "You see, we're dancing, and I don't think Shouto's in the mood to have a conversation."

"I'd love to listen to your adventures, though. Maybe you could tell all about it tomorrow?" You added to at least boost his ego a bit. He tried to look uninterested, but Aoyama would've died right then and there. "Yeah, if I have time, of course." He answered, fixing the plastic crown that was on his head and walked away to find a victim worthy of his time.

"Nice, see you later!" You called out and turned back to your grumpy boyfriend.

"Rude." You told him with a teasing poke to his cheek. "He was the one interrupting us. I just told him to go away." He defended himself. "You broke his heart. There's a difference!"

"He should've gone away the first time I told him. I would've talked to him if I wanted to, so why does he need to bother us?" He muttered, well aware the moment was -the second time tonight- ruined. You sighed when more people came your way, making small talk with you, more like Shouto telling them to kindly go away and you fixing the broken hearts. You loved them all, but the heavy air in the room, the smell of alcohol, sweat, perfumes, and many other things, the crowd and the people, all started to be a little too much for you. Though, you still did your best to hide it.

"Let's go." You heard Shouto's soft voice, a whisper that was so close to your ear, it made you shiver. Ignoring the group of people that were trying to talk with you two, he started leading you in a direction, and although you weren't sure where exactly, you trusted him fully and followed him.

You noticed the heavy, suffocating air had started to fade, and as you followed your boyfriend, the air had started to be at least a bit more breathable. You finally saw where he was taking you to, and you couldn't suppress your smile at how well he knew you.

"How did you know?" You asked him, only a meter between you and the balcony that opened to the fresh air and the slightly chilly night.

You just needed a second from all this music, the overly excited and drunk people, and the crowd altogether. And the fact that he had noticed this even before you yourself had just made you want to pull him into a kiss. And judging by the way he was looking at you, you weren't the only one.

"I think I-" He started to talk, but before he could even finish what he was saying, someone broke in between you. Again. "Oh- shit- sorry." A drunk Kirishima sent you both an apologetic grin and tried to find his balance. Shouto held him by his arm and steadied him, not even trying to hide how annoyed he was.

Kirishima's hair had red and orange streaks in it, his face also painted in various shades of red. "Hey, Kiri." You muttered, deciding that the balcony had to wait a while. "And, what are you supposed to be?" You asked him, trying to understand just how drunk he was.

"Oh, you can't tell?! I'm Calcifer, and that's my Howl!" He roared into your ear, pulling his arm free from Shouto, losing his balance once again.

You looked at where he was pointing, only to find the said ashy blonde sulking in the corner of the room, his hair still crazy as ever, though you had to admit the Howl costume looked really good on him.

You must've looked a little too long since you noticed how your boyfriend started to move once again, pulling you out to the balcony before anyone could stop him once again.

The fresh, cold air hit both your faces, making you sigh happily. It was times like this you noticed how nice it was to be able to breathe. There were only one or two people out in the balcony with you, most out here to smoke.

"Finally." He breathed, probably not even aware of the other people out there with you. He still hadn't let go of your hand, his thumb caressing your hand slightly, the small act of affection making your heart go feral.

Expecting him to pull you closer to him, you glanced his way when he didn't do anything, only to find his lips turned down in a frown. "Baby?" You asked. "Is there something wrong?"

"You seemed to like the Howl costume quite a lot." He mumbled under his breath, the tone, and the way he said it making you giggle. He was jealous. He saw the smile on your lips and pouted even more.

"I like you much much better."

"Of course, I'm the one who looks like Zuko, after all." He answered grumpily, but you noticed how his frown had melted into a soft smile, his hands now playing with the ruffles of your wings.

"I love you, Y/N." He whispered, his hands moving up from your wings to your cheek. His face getting closer to yours inch by inch, your hand automatically found it's way to his nape, unconsciously pulling him towards you.

"I love you, too, Shou."

As his warm lips touched yours, you felt so content and safe between his arms, you couldn't help but think that this was the best Halloween you ever had.

[elfyourmother]

ngl, part of why I have had such a hard time figuring out Gisele’s Dark Knight journey is that I still have a hard time imagining her as one tbh. She was never intended to have a tank Job and I still feel such ambivalence about it for so many reasons.

The kind of power fantasy she represents has never been about protecting people, but being protected. Because I never was. And neither was she. Because Black girls and women aren’t worthy of protection. We’re supposed to be the human shields and the cannon fodder and the mules carrying the burdens for others. We’re supposed to be the ones silently taking abuse for others, cuz we’re Strong(tm). We don’t feel pain, after all.

And as much as I enjoy tanking and always have in games, it was almost easier in WoW when I couldn’t have a Black lady character and my tank was a dude who was Black in my head but couldn’t be in the game (Rauthien). Because I didn’t have to cope with what I do now, being the token negress in literally every duty roulette, the sole Black character. If I see Black characters, they are always men. Black women are perishingly rare. There are more gray and green skinned women. And most of the time I can ignore this, but where it really bristles is when I queue in the Tank role, especially when so often the rest of the party—the people I’m tasked with protecting—are tiny, pale women with titles like “Pure White”. Being a Black girl and watching my Black girl literally get beat on to protect tiny white women just fucking feels bad to me and I have to stop after a while.

Aesthetically it doesn’t work either, I mean I’ve always loved Dark Knights, they’re one of my favorite FF Job archetypes, but the heavy spiky armor death metal thing is the polar opposite of Gisele. (Which is why the Neo Ishgardian tank set was such a godsend, and the Agrias cosplay before it.) As is the swinging a giant zweihander style of combat—Gisele is a Magical Girl, her swords are light and so is her swordplay (there’s a reason she “mains” Red Mage, and Samurai is her only canon melee Job).

So why even be a DRK then if so much of it is at odds with how I conceive her? It’s the themes of the quests that really did it, specifically the “flame in the abyss” idea. Gisele’s entire raison d’etre as a character is Love. And I also fell for the idea of working through her pain and trauma and gaining strength from it—the fact Haurche and Ysayle survive doesn’t mean Gisele has none or that the quest story is somehow cheapened or wouldn’t work. She still has a whole lifetime of trauma from Thedas including dying. Redcliffe alone fits the requirements.

But I just don’t know how to reconcile all of this, on top of trying to reconcile the idea that a woman as conscientious of appearances and politics, who is scraping tooth and nail to make a place for herself in Ishgard all while while simultaneously desperate to not make Edmont look bad after he took her in would be running around doing vigilante Batman shit and making enemies of members of the local authorities whose leader she’s also nursing a deep infatuation for. None of it makes any damn sense

[whumpbby]

1/2 I feel like a bad fan sometimes because I can't bring myself to like Stephanie. Even the tug war between cannon and fandom stuff can endear me to her. Canon wise she comes off as a shitty person, selfish and the way she treats the bats except for Cass sometimes it's some of the worse the only good thing I can say it's that it's realistic. Some people be like that (And I see a lot of my old self in her and I HAD to change so much to be better. Cuz it's not quirky being mean, it's just mean)

2/2 But then fandom has this pedestal to her, she does no wrong or it's always justify, she's perfect! And that makes me dislike her even more (It's movie!Hermione all over again). I read one fic where I liked her portrail, one fic where the author wasn't trying to make her more competent then everyone else (minus Cass I guess). Guess I don't get what is the big deal when batman has so many more interesting and dimensional characters, her and some of the latest Jokers just lack originality to me

***************************

Anon, on one hand I get you. I am a fan of some characters and not others. The issue you have with Stephanie, I have with Cass - can’t like her, see nothing there to interest me, every time I see her described as ‘virtually perfect’ I walk away.

I think that crux of the matter is that canon Steph isn’t a person. No character is a person in DC or Marvel or anything that have been running for so long. No one is a character or a person, there is just a compilation of traits that many different writers invented for their stories. At this point getting to know a character in that fandom is like basing your knowledge of a them on fanfic alone - which is pretty accurate, canon at this point is just fanfic that someone gets paid for. 

So, in that light, there’s no ‘real’ Steph you can like or dislike. There are iterations of her. And when the fans like a character, they pick the best iteration of them and run with it.

On another hand, anon, every character you like is only a perfect version of them that have been chosen and cultivated by you in the same way Steph’s fans cultivate her ‘perfect’ image. So are these perfect Cass’ iterations. So is the whole ‘Duke is flawless’. So are Tim’s stans. So are Dick’s stans. Barb’s stans. So am I, a Jason stan. 

I chose the best version of Jason I could build using the blocks that canon offered me, ignoring the ones that didn’t fit, and this is the version I will stick to. I don’t know all about Jason. I am not 100% critical of his character. I made him to respond to my needs entertainment-wise and I am closing my ears to all and any critique of him coming from people who find it annoying. I don’t care for another opinion, I am not here to have my likes questioned.

Steph, objectively, is not suffering from an unoriginal backstory or a lack of interesting plot potential. She has a splendid origin and more going on in personal life than, say, Tim ever had (calm down Tim stans, I am speaking of plot points to explore, not personal merit). That she’s badly written more often than not is an issue in her characterisation. 

That she is written as being ‘rude’ to the characters you personally may like is a bigger issue in your perception of her, because that’s what it usually comes down to. Personal bias.

For example, it took me personally a LONG time to warm up to Damian, because as much as his story was worth telling, he was written as caustic shit to characters I already liked and I had no patience for him because of that. Had he been a caustic shit to the ones I didn’t care about? He’d be fine. (’s like I only ever find Slade palatable when he’s away from the Batfam, when he deals with characters I have no emotional stock in).

Look, it took me retooling Damian in his entirety to write him with any amount of sympathy. The Damian in my stories? Has almost nothing in common with canon kid. My Jason? Again, a mirage I’ve created to suit my tastes. My Bruce? Barely reflecting his canon self.

And some people are here for these iterations I’ve made up - and I am following certain people for their iterations. And some of them I don’t like and won’t accept, and that’s fine. 

It doesn’t make you a bad fan to not like ALL OF CHARACTERS EQUALLY, it’s a ridiculous and unrealistic demand to be made of a fan of anything, really. You like what you like. It’s like the time I was accused of being anti-feminist because I personally can’t stomach Harley Quinn - a known abuse survivor, so of course my dislike had to be a mark of a bigger issue I had with women in general (I do have an issue with many female characters in general, but that’s another matter entirely lol) because a person can’t just dislike a character others like.  

Rest assured, no moral high-ground here, I am side-eyeing Jason-haters too;] Every time I hear someone praise Joker I have to stop myself from going ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! and sometime it works, sometimes it doesn’t>> I am working on keeping my dislike to my personal blog. 

You are not a bad fan if you steer clear of a character that’s a firm no to you for whatever reason. A fan is only ever bad when they intentionally get into others’ faces with their issues and cause dissent, because they need to change their minds. 

But the ting to understand here is that rarely ever the fault lays in the character alone. Most of it lays on the shoulders of our personal biases and likes, so the opinion we are expressing should come with that caveat.

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E1

quarantines diaries: may 26 2020

season 2 episode 1: “The 48″

aaahh yess some elevator music to set the mood....BAAMM excessively loud scary sound. was this really necessary tho. cuz i was wearing headphones while watching this and that shit made my ears hurt. i know im weak like that.

hey! hey! hey! where really is monty??? i fucking swear to god...

i love that clarke goes apeshit for monty. shes gots his back!! i stan.

ooo thats a deep cut. that helmet came off a little too easy. “ill be contaiminated” current quarantine mood girl. mood. clarke is really taking this girl hostage. anything for monty.

what in the world?! somebody say sike. yeah clarke where the hell are you? i would like to know as well

bellamy lives! also what is monroe’s hair. its cool but like how does she do these elaborate hair styles with no mirror. no shampoo. no conditioner. no brush. 

boy finn is not doing well at all. but he still manages to get some water to quench his thirst

what is that? klingon? did licoln really lick that arrow? lincoln be into some kinky shit.

“death by a 1000 cuts every single member of your clan will take a turn stabbing you. and then they’ll feed to the bugs.” that sounds that rough and all but im sorry all i see are the bugs from a bugs life

bane from batman is that you??? wow raven be prepared for that. we love a prepared queen. goodbye bane she said.

no its not ok. murphy. fuck this trope of having no bullets. die murphy. die. why do you keep coming back. i swear murphy is like a cockroach. you think you killed him but he keeps coming the fuck back. at least hes self aware as he says i would have shot me too. 

“im not pressing charges”. ok. maya. no one asked tho. but they still have a justice system?? of all the things that they keep 

ohh these restraint are necessary. you know clarke be out here ready to cut a bitch.

what the hell are they pumping into maya? 

wow dante being a fairy godmother with that box of clothes. he said bibity boppity boo

yess get that heel. resourceful queen. haha clarke “isnt like other girls” when she see a heel isnt thinking wow i would look really good in those. shes thinking i could use that as a weapon. but of all the outfits in that trunk thats the one that clarke picks?

so grounders really be superior beings. natural selection? this just triggered my ptsd from my gen bio class. not a fun time. if im being honest tho i would be probably one of tho people that would be wiped out by the radiation.

solar radiation. so basically these spacers are super human in comparison to these smucks. is this how jasper survived and recovered so quick from that spear? im still not over how the boy was speared but then was fine within like 5 days

he said first give me that heel. dante really is magical isnt he. but i really wished that clarked cut a bitch first before the heel was taken away.

what is this cult? why are all these kids wearing button ups? ummmm this is reaaaaally suspicious. 

is murphy really helping raven? are they giving murphy a redemption arc he literally made a child commit suicide. killed not one but two people in cold blood. shot raven. and hanged bellamy **i know. i know. i know that bellamy hanged murphy first. but we’re not going to talk about that. bellamy is too pretty to stay mad at for too long.

“i don’t want to die alone.” well i dont care murphy. get the fuck out of here. you were the one that shot raven and the reason why she is here.

oh wow that really is a monster. frankenstein’s monster who?

monty and jasper reunited. i love this bromance so much! 

“you’re bumming me out im gonna get more cake”- jasper (19:42) what a mood!! i could really go for some cake rn. i dont have anything to celebrate but do i really need one to eat cake. this also reminds me of the cake in Matilda

low on vitamin D? just drink some sunny d

maya and jasper? octavia? forget her. this girl has cake. *men love a woman that knows her way in a kitchen* 

clarke really wants out. i thought it would take longer than this. clarke really isnt trusting any of this. i mean neither am i. buts thats a lot of stairs 

maya pulling a gun clarke. she got that gun real quick. damn maybe maya is more edgy than i thought

raven and murphy having a heart to heart? the most unlikely pairing yet? but do i crack ship it? fuck it. sure.

is murphy really talking in third person. i thought i could not have hated this character more. i love that after murphy gives that whole my life was rough story. raven said “boo-hoo” (25:35). 

woah KANE is here to save the day but i gotta say i just want to give bellamy a wet wipe. theres so much blood on his face its covering up his prettiness

youre really not gonna give murphy up now raven? he shot you. i guess his pity story worked

yess bellamy!! that is the proper reaction to murphy! fuck your rules. fuck your law. fuck you kane. #free bellamy

ABRAHAM LINCOLN (31:55) you have got to be kidding me. i fucking called it. so i guess this were Washington DC used to be. honest abe is quaking. 

dante has a dark backstory. hes gotta be a villain. hes just gotta

bellamy and finn teaming up together yes please. i love finn and bellamy breaking the rules already. they make a good duo. btw this is such an interesting format of the show both of clarkes love interests are not with her. i hope they have a bromance now. or even possibly a real ship. who knows. cuz its seems like finn falls in and out of love pretty fast so it wouldnt be that ooc in my opinon

dont watch clarke eat like that dante. i get creepy vibez

monty knows magic tricks.  

clarke is buying into this cult a little too fast for me.

camp JAHA **tears**

did not expect to live to see kane as chancellor

really...a baby. ofc this show would. whats worse than a child...a baby.

[hood-ex]

For the post about plot bunnies for short fic about Dick and Jason! 1) Dick and Jason going train-surfing before his death and after his return. 2) 1st time one of them got the other a birthday gift. 3) Jason finding out that Dick was the one who finally took down the memorial case in the Batcave and realizing his brother hated that thing as much as he did. 4) Bonding over ranting about Dad. 5) Jason lowkey trying to get Dick and Kory back together cuz he shipped them hard when he was younger.

@bigskydreaming​ These are all great prompts! I decided to take a whack at #2. I might write for some of the other prompts though. Anyways, hope what I wrote is somewhat satisfying lmao. 

Link to read on AO3

Jason’s so glad the 250 pound goon he was fighting earlier decided to leave him with a brand new spankin’ set of bruised ribs. Really, truly, he shouldn’t have given Jason such a nice gift for his birthday. The goon should’ve been embarrassed though. Giving Jason the same gift his dad used to give him? Tsk, tsk. Tactless.

Jason sucks in air through his teeth, mentally preparing himself for the pain, and then tries to sit up. He barely raises himself up three inches before sharp pain shoots up his torso and forces him to thunk back against the rooftop floor. Yeah, okay, he really doesn’t want to try that again.

This is just great.

He sighs. There’s nothing that says happy birthday quite like staring up at the smog that keeps him from seeing any of the stars he’d normally wish on or the fact that he’s probably lying on heaps of bird shit. Alfie is definitely going to give him the stink eye for the latter.

A shadow crosses over the corner of the rooftop. It doesn’t look distinctly Batman shaped.

Jason tenses and reaches for the smoke pellet in his belt. Normally he chooses fight over flight, but he doesn’t want to take any chances with his ribs this time. Creating a distraction and then using whatever adrenaline he can muster to get the hell away is probably the smartest decision. That’s what Batman would say, anyways.

Whoever is creeping around is being way too quiet. Goons don’t usually bother being quiet around Jason. They just see him as a small kid in a costume. An easy target. The whole Robin getup is good for creating that kind of misconception.

“Hey, shorty,” a somewhat familiar voice drawls right before a guy in a blue costume flips into Jason’s view.

Black hair. Plunging neckline. A collar somewhat akin to the cone of shame.

Nightwing.

Jason relaxes his muscles, relieved, and stares at Dick in surprise.

Dick’s got a big stupid grin on his face. The niceness of it is what throws Jason off. He’s still not used to people smiling at him and shit. He’s used to grins that are meant for mocking or that are sleazy and spell trouble. Dick Grayson’s grin is none of those things. His is all playful and good-intentioned. Something about it feels safe, and safe’s not something Jason feels a lot outside of the manor.

“Hey, Old-Timer,” Jason says, “fancy seeing you here.”

He suddenly remembers how much his ribs hurt when he tries to sit up again to see Dick better. He can’t help the small sound of pain he lets out as he settles back into his original position. God, bruised ribs are such a bitch.

Jason can’t see Dick’s eyes because of his mask, but he just knows Dick is looking him over from head to toe, mind probably tripping over itself to analyze Jason’s situation.

“You good?” Dick asks, already kneeling by Jason’s side.

“Oh, totally,” Jason says. He tries to adjust his position without hurting himself more. “Sometimes I just come up here by myself to stare at the smog. Just contemplating the rampant amount of pollution in the city—ow fuck. I don’t know if Bruce told you, but I’m an environmentalist first and Robin second. I’ve always been that way. Since the womb.”

Dick frowns and presses his fingers against Jason’s pulse point. “Have you been drugged?”

Jason smacks Dick’s hand away. “No, I haven’t been drugged! I got my ribs busted by some Hulk Hogan wannabe.”

“Ouch,” Dick winces in sympathy. “Been there, felt that.”

“Yeah, well, how about you give me a hand so I can stop rolling around in bird shit.”

The worried furrow in Dick’s brow melts away and is replaced by an amused grin. God, Jason needs to learn how to become immune to Dick’s stupidly genuine face. It’s stuff like that that makes it easy for Jason to see why Bruce has such a hard time letting Dick go. And if he’s honest with himself, he’s a little bit jealous that Dick can warm people over so easily. If Dick is the gooey middle of a s’more then Jason is the hard-coated graham cracker that takes a little time to chew through.

“I’m going to lift you up a bit and then I’m going to come under your arm so you can stand up, capeesh?” Dick says, moving just beside Jason’s right shoulder.

“Capeesh?” Jason grunts in pain as Dick levers him upwards. “Who are you? Uncle Jesse?”

While Jason’s torso is off the ground, Dick positions himself under Jason’s right arm and then quickly, but gently, helps Jason onto his feet. Jason squeezes his eyes shut and takes a few deep breaths while he waits for the pain to calm down.

“You’re alright, you’re alright,” Dick assures him softly, draping his arm over Jason’s shoulders.

If anyone asks, Jason totally does not lean into Dick for support, he does not. He just. Trips. Into Dick’s side. Yup. That’s what happens. The bird shit is witness to it.

“Would this be a bad time to tell you that I got you a birthday present?” Dick asks suddenly, taking Jason off guard.

“Birthday present? What birthday present? How did you know today’s my birthday?” Jason demands, leaning closer to Dick’s face so he can stare into Dick’s… eyelets.

Dick places a finger on Jason’s forehead and gently shoves him backward.

“O ye of little faith. Give me some credit. You think your big bro doesn’t know when your birthday is?”

Jason stares at him with a knowing look.

“Alfie told you, didn’t he?”

Even though he meant it lightheartedly, he’s a little surprised to see how Dick’s mouth tightens into a frown.

“B sure as hell didn’t,” Dick grouches in a tone Jason’s come to associate with Dick and Bruce’s yelling matches.

“Yeah,” Jason drawls, “I’m not touching that with a ten-foot pole.”

Dick’s expression levels back into a neutral look. “Right, yeah.” He gives Jason’s shoulder a squeeze as a silent apology. “So do you want your gift or not?”

Thank God for Dick’s ability to smoothly change the subject.

“You know you’re not supposed to ask stupid questions in the field,” Jason says in mock horror. Dick makes a bitch face at him and Jason cackles. “Too bad Poison Ivy isn’t around to give you some aloe for that sick burn!”

Dick stares at him before walking towards the edge of the roof.

“Wait!” Jason says, quickly snagging Dick by the wrist. His ribs only scream a little bit, but honestly, who’s paying attention to that kind of thing when the person with his present is about to disappear into the night. “Fine, fine, fine. I’ll stop being a brat. Although, for the record, you’re an asshole for even pretending to leave me all alone with my busted ribs.”

Dick’s stupid grin makes a reappearance.

“An asshole and a brat walk into a bar—”

“Shut up,” Jason says, shoving Dick away from him. “Are you going to make me stand up here for eternity or can we get to the whole gift-giving thing.”

Jason’s not sure what he expects the gift to be. From what he knows, Dick’s not exactly rolling in money, so he doesn’t expect it to be something as extravagant as what he received earlier in the day. Alfred gave him six new books and also made him a buffet of breakfast food. Then Bruce had given him a new bookcase for his room, an insanely gaudy watch Jason doesn’t know what the hell he’s going to do with, and an entire set of baseball equipment for him to play with in the yard.

Compared to his other birthdays, the gifts he got this year are almost too much to comprehend. Hell, the price of the watch alone will probably be enough to put him through college. The gifts are nice but… overwhelming. Honestly, Jason doesn’t think he deserves shit that nice. It’s not like he can refuse them, though. It’ll make him sound like an ungrateful little snot, and Jason doesn’t want to give Bruce that impression at all.

“I’ve only been in your room once,” Dick says as he pops open a compartment on his glove, “and I saw a Poison Idea poster over your bed. So—” he brandishes two blue rectangular pieces of paper in front of Jason.

Eyes wide, Jason snatches them from Dick’s hand. “Holy shit—”

“I got you two tickets to their concert,” Dick finishes with a smile.

Jason stares at the tickets and reads the print on them over and over again. Hands shaking, he throws his arms above his head, ignoring the sharp pain it causes.

“Shut the fuck up! No way! No waaay, dude!” he chatters. He grabs onto Dick’s arm and shakes it in excitement. “You’re not allowed to be this cool! Dude, what? Are these real?”

Dick’s sudden laughter only fuels more excitement in Jason’s chest. He shoves at Dick again.

“Don’t even tell me these are good seats, dude. Like. These are nosebleed seats or something, right?”

“Nosebleed?” Dick squawks indignantly. “These are VIP tickets! You get access to the venue before general admission and you get to meet the band backstage.”

“What!” Jason yells, genuinely shaking now. “Di—Nightwing! Are you serious?”

Dick laughs again and grabs onto Jason’s shoulders to squeeze them. “Yes, I am completely serious.”

There’s a feeling in Jason’s chest that he’s not sure how to describe. It’s a weird mixture of excitement and gratitude and… awe. It’s something he only feels rarely. Kind of like the first time he went out as Robin or like the time he got to work with the Titans. Special moments like that.

Jason reads the print on the tickets one last time, unwilling to vocalize just how touched he is that Dick’s given him such a personalized gift. He didn’t expect to get anything from Dick at all. Hell, he didn’t even expect a phone call, knowing how busy Dick is. And now that Dick’s given him one of his favorite gifts he’s ever gotten, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Doesn’t know how to act.

All he can think of is to extend his fist and to blurt out a quick, “Thanks.”

Luckily for him, Dick’s had a lot of time to adapt to emotionally inept people. Dick extends his own fist and bumps it against Jason’s.

“No problem. Happy birthday, Little Wing.”

Notes:

I don’t know if any of you have ever hurt your ribs before, but I’ve bruised mine, and trying to move was a bitch. My mom had to help me sit up because it was too painful to bend my torso. I don’t know why in fics people constantly break the batfam’s ribs and then have them running around like it’s no big deal. So that’s why Jason is like I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up.

In comics, Robin Jason called Dick “Old-Timer” and Dick called Jason “shorty” and “Little Wing”. So I incorporated that into the story.

Jason referring to Dick as Uncle Jesse is a reference to the TV show Full House. On the show, Uncle Jesse asks “capeesh?” a lot when he’s talking to his nieces or sons.

Poison Idea is an actual band that Jason used to like when he was Robin. In comics, he had a Poison Idea poster on his wall and I thiiink he might of also had a shirt with their name on it. So yeah. Jason is a punk rock bitch.

[an-american-teen-against-crime]

Rant about ur fav superhero ready go

Okay so like I have a lot of favorite superheroes loool but thank you so so much for this Alyssa I adore you I CRI

Before we start I believe it is my civic duty to inform you that when Animated BatmanTM (aka. superior batman) walks in the batsuit the cape falls around him and he just kinda shuffles across the floor and it’s the cutest thing my eyes ever done did seen

okay so Imma pick batman cuz i was recently reading a batman comic. I feel like sometimes batman gets flack and like yeah no one is perfect but a lot of times it’s because batman is written incorrectly. But thankfully whatever version of him I don’t like I get to write off lol because superhero canon is so weird. 

I wanna do a full analysis of batman some time but I think what originally drew me to the character is that he’s like the emo dude dressed like a bat, something that I feel is normally reserved for villains? Like the darkness-coded character was the good guy. That was so cool to me. He’s an amazing detective, he is incredibly smart and resilient, and he helps people not just as Batman but also Bruce Wayne. 

What sticks out to me about Bruce is that not only does he have his strict no-kill rule (COUGH COUGH BATMAN V SUPERMAN U GOT THAT WRONG) but he also is the type of guy that genuinely cares and will try to save even villains. And like not just save them from falling, like he will try to help them get back on their feet and stop following a life of crime. 

He has like a huge heckin family because he adopted so many kids but not only is that adorable because he’s the orphan who lost his family who finds them a family but he also makes a new family for himself. He trains the robins and tries to be there for them so that they never feel the same way he did, which is kinda his whole mission.

Everyone makes jokes about his parents dying, but the thing is as an eight y.o. kid that would be extremely traumatizing, no wonder he’s so messed up. You see your parents gunned down for no reason, and then you’re all alone in the ally. Not knowing if the dude is gonna come after you next, and you cant do anything, the two people you’ve always believed would protect you from anything are dead, and you saw it happen. 

Bruce runs away from home, from his past, from Gotham. He doesn’t want to be found. But he chooses to come back. Because he doesn’t want anyone to go through what he did- he fights for those scared lonely kids left on the street alone. Side note, I also love how sweet Bruce is to kids, like here’s this big hulking shadow of a man dressed like a BAT and he’ll kneel down and try to calm some poor kid down and distract them from what they’re going through, or write that he likes some kid’s drawings of him. 

Also, Bruce is heckin dramatic . Like SO DRAMATIC I love it. He makes everything bat themed because he understands branding. He fights silently but then he will make these really dumb snarky jokes and I love him for it. Also he some how always gets the upper hand on other people, like he’s so freaking smart. Like he can genuinely freak people out and outsmarts em. And I love how he’ll appear out of nowhere and scare the crap out of people lol. Also, the dude just has PRESENCE. And if you hurt someone he’s comin for your butt.

He’s also really really bad at communicating and getting across his emotions, like he’d rather jump out a window than confess he cares about someone. Like. Which is bad cuz sometimes his kids need to hear that, but I also think that they kinda know. Bruce will literally go to the ends of the UNIVERSE for the people he cares about, and I honestly think he’s a really emotional guy he just has no clue how to express his emotions. Like he comes off super grumpy but idk. I think it’s kinda funny.  

And like always, he’s always a hoe for self sacrifice. Like Bruce. Stop. I know you have a death wish. But maybe don’t be so gun-ho about it. 

 I just love the concept of Batman. Just this dude. Runnin’ round the city. Chasing baddies. Ordered coffee where you work last week at 2am. Gave you a crazy big tip. He has like 50 children, and a really sick car. Oh also there’s this Bruce Wayne dude that is a rich orphan who also has coincidentally 50 kids, and he’s like such a himbo but you love him and sometimes he really pulls out some sick burns???

 I feel I’m missing so much but thank you for the ask, this was so much fun. Love you Alyssa <3

(included are. some short clips of why I love Bats. You will notice none of them are from the Dark Knight trilogy, and while I am grateful to those movies for getting me into batman, they do not do him justice. At all.)

Batman and Ace

(if you want them. just batman best moments on youtube itll pop up) (there’s literally so many)

ALSO THERES THIS ONE TIME THAT WONDER WOMAN TRIES TO SAVE THIS TOWN FROM LIKE A FALLING PILLAR OR SMTHN I DONT REMEMBER AND SHE LIKE GETS CRUSHED UNDER IT STOPPING IT AND BATS IS THE FIRST TO RUN OUT AND HES LIKE TRYING TO DIG AND PULL HER OUT like this dude is the weakest one of the justice league yet he’s always trying to help and somehow he always manages to keep up AND HES LIKE FRANTIC and Supes tells him they can’t get her out and he looks so freaking upset but then she lifts up the pillar thing and reveals herself to be okay and everyones so happy and she’s like :))))) “YOURE VILLAGE IS SAVED” and goes and stands by the other heroes. and . when she does. she looks down and sees Bats’ muddy gloves and smiles and he like quick hides them under his cape I just-

The Justice League animated show made me a WonderBat shipper okay and it’s never gonna go away 

okay I’m finally done thank you for the ask ILY

[thattimdrakeguy]

If I read todays Heroes in Crisis issue more then the panels people keep showing on tumblr, it's a cry for help and cruel and unusual punishment for myself.

I'm still not over it. "Cute, mean one" "Nice, funny one" "Cool, rebellious one". Give me a break, Thomas. Just admit you never read any of them before besides panels on tumblr. It's just making it more and more infuriating. It's so painfully obvious you don't know anything about the characters you choose to write.

Two of them are either a former murderer, or a current one, and you described one of them like the Fonz, and the other like a 6 year old bully.

Like how can he seriously think those were really good ways of describing them, while also acting like each of their biggest struggle in life to talk about in hero therapy is not knowing who they are deep down? A filled out three of them, three completely different characters, lives, and struggles, he simplified besides two traits each that apparently define them and seperate them from each other, and those two traits each don't even suit them or fit them. Thomas just doesn't care.

Jason literally died. Ya know the thing that's hard to get over? That whole Lazerus Pit madness thing? His feeling of rage he has so constantly cuz of all the crime he's seen and the victims hurt that his rage has become so potent it's enough to kill criminals over it? Stuff that could easily make a tear jerking issue you replace with "cool, rebellious one" and "who am I", he murders people, Thomas. Why would they think he's the cool one. He betrayed them, for reasons, but that's something they take seriously. Why call that cool and rebellious? Murder? He may not always like who he is but he knows damn well who he is.

Dick has such confidence that I don't honestly know if he questioned himself like that much till he got replaced as Robin or became Batman. He's not just "the nice, funny one", Dick was Tim's childhood icon. Tim admired Dick for years till he met him and went on to become his tiny little brother, and Dick was protective over him for a long time, they felt for each other strongly. Even just by himself Dick's had angst, he can have anger problems that lash out when he doesn't try to calm himself, something he used to be known for, and Tim has witnessed this. They know each other more than most of the others would, to just summarize each other with two words, like that makes it seem like they barely know each other. Especially with Tim, to act like they only just occasionally work together when Dick meant so much to Tim it just becomes insulting to the characters.

And Dick would never call Tim the dark one, especially when describing Damian and Jason as well at the same freaking time. I don't care if you only read Red Robin, that is an outlier for the character. Dick had to partially raise Tim during moments of his life to teach him stuff he didn't know. He was Dick's fanboy then little brother. Would he call him troubled or even just a kid who has some bad struggles with depression? Perhaps if Red Robin was still going on, but even then hard to believe fully, but I could at least picture it. They mean a lot to each other. They mean too much to eachother to act like they been described by a drunk person to one another that had them partially confused for someone else.

Damian's summary is just insulting and I feel bad for the character. "The cute, mean one", Damian, is not cute. I know he constantly looks 5 in some of the comics but that's because the artist sucks and can't draw a 13 year old. He's formerly killed people, been a bit of a sexist, and even currently tries and succeeds to kidnap people. Tim was nearly murdered by him, Dick has witnessed this or at least one of the attempts. And Dick treated Damian seriously during their relationship. He found Damian hard to get a break through in but he did. He tried so hard to get past Damian's walls to help him from his hideous disturbed past. Dick wouldn't just call him cute or find him cute, he'd see pride and a young man because even though he still has mess ups like a person he still got better despite all the horrible stuff he been through when raised by the League. On the other coin Tim was still uncomfortable to even be near him or trust him from their past experiences. That's a conflict. Neither one of them have a reason to find him cute let alone summarize him as that as if that's half of what he is when it isn't hardly at all, and don't list your source from a comic that knows them about as bad as you do, Thomas. Neither one of them would summarize him like a 6 year old neighbor boy who roasts them when they pass on daily walks and don't take very seriously. That's not their relationships at all. They been through too much together for that, either from better or to worst.

It feels more like Tom King read bad fan fictions and scrolled on tumblr more then actually read a comic, when he should, considering he's writing a real, professional, actually official DC comic. He showed a complete lack of care or any selfaware attitude in only a few panels.

All he did was summarize how they act when it's out of character, and like he was trying to get brownie points in his hated series by calling Damian cute, when that's not who the character is, and acting like they're oh so similar and "Aww poor babies they're so insecure :(" and they can be insecure but not like that. Tim may struggle and get sad over not knowing his spot, but Dick? Jason? They aren't the same character besides two differences each. It's like you're trying to write satire on some of the bad writers out there, but you aren't, you just are a bad writer.

Clay Mann literally draws them as the same character as well. I take it he came out the womb a grown man cuz he certainly seems like he's never seen a 16 year old before, even ignoring the fact Tim's at least suppose to have a baby face.

Tom King proved why he shouldn't have ever been the writer on a story with subject matter like this. A story build up to be a gripping tale into the subconsious of DC's characters and the effects of what happens in their life and mental illness in general, and he couldn't even understand either one.

You know for a series that acts like it even gets down to the nit and grit and saws through the bone marrow of mental illness like it's really deep. Promotes its self as so serious it deserves praise for it.

It really treats it's characters like jokes.

[daresplaining]

Hey, Idk if you know this but imma ask you anyway cause I think you’re cool. ANYWAY, how do other hero’s react when they find out Daredevil is blind? (You have any HC’s that go along with it?)

    Hi, and thanks! I’m happy that running a comics blog is considered cool.

     This doesn’t actually come up as much as you’d think, because this kind of revelation almost never starts with people discovering that Daredevil is blind. Matt is (mostly) good at pretending he can see while in costume, since that’s an illusion he feels the need to maintain. Instead, what usually happens is this: someone (a fellow hero or otherwise) will learn that Matt is Daredevil, they’ll assume he fakes the blindness, Matt will then explain about the hypersenses, and that will be that. Sometimes he’ll be asked to prove it, but not always. 

[ID: Excerpt from Kesel’s Daredevil run. Matt and Foggy are standing together in an office. Foggy has his back to Matt (and the reader).]

Foggy: “Okay, Matt– you can stop pretending, now.”

Matt: “Foggy–?”

Foggy: “This whole ‘blind’ thing. I know you’re really Daredevil! Some ‘best friend’– lying to me all these years… playing me for a fool…”

Matt: “No, Foggy– you’re wrong! I thought you understood… I really am blind, from a childhood accident that heightened my remaining senses–”

Daredevil vol. 1 #353 by Karl Kesel, Cary Nord, and Christie Scheele

[ID: Daredevil and Karen Page are sitting together in a large, fancy, primarily green sitting room.] 

Karen: “And, your brother ‘Mike’… the aerial explosion in which you ‘died’… even your ‘blindness’… they were all nothing but ingenious frauds!”

Matt: “Two out of three right, my darling! I never had a brother… and that explosion was trumped up to flush out a would-be blackmailer! But, I have been blind for years… perhaps in more ways than one!”

Karen: “Really blind? I don’t… understand…!”

Matt: “When you get down to brass tacks, Karen… neither do I! As Matt, I told you once about the childhood accident that blinded me! That story was true, but not the whole truth!”

[ID: A panel showing a montage of Daredevil doing cool acrobatic tricks against an orange background.]

Matt (off-panel): “For, in some mysterious way, the same mishap that robbed me of my sight… amazingly sharpened my remaining senses, to far beyond those of other men… enabling me to avoid disasters, and to perform athletic feats that few people even dream of! Taste… touch… smell… hearing… all my senses were heightened! Except perhaps for that secret ingredient called… common sense! Why else would I never have told you before… that I love you?”

Daredevil vol. 1 #58 by Roy Thomas and Gene Colan

[ID: Daredevil and Black Panther are swinging in tandem across the nighttime city.]

T’Challa: “DD… I know I promised no questions… but I have never comprehended how a blind attorney can battle crime with the best of them! –If you truly are blind, that is!”

Matt: “I am… but I’ve got some other super-senses that just won’t quit! Remind me to tell you about ‘em sometime!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #69 by Roy Thomas and Gene Colan

[ID: Daredevil and Spider-Man– who is in his black costume– are crouched on a rooftop, talking.] 

Peter: “So… ‘Peter’, huh?”

Matt: “Yup. And in case you’re wondering, my handle is… Matt Murdock.”

Peter: “You’re kidding, right? I mean… Murdock’s blind… I mean… that is… uh, let’s go someplace and talk about this…”

[In the next panel they’re in Peter’s apartment, and in civvies. Matt is sitting on a chair, wearing a white shirt and blue pants. Peter is walking into the room, wearing a green shirt and blue pants.]

Matt: “Faintly acrid, but a nice apartment.”

Peter: “Boy, you really must be blind. And yeah, I had a fire recently. Let me understand– you could tell when you heard my heartbeat as Peter Parker and later as Spider-Man that we were the same guy? That’s some power. What do you call it?”

Matt: “Listening.”

Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man vol. 1 #110 by Peter David, Rich Buckler, and Bob Sharen

[ID: A panel of Luke Cage and Danny Rand– both in civvies– standing on a rooftop at night. They are looking up toward the viewer (at Daredevil, off-panel). Danny is holding up a newspaper.]

Luke: “You can put that down. He’s blind.”

Danny: “Oh, he really is blind. I thought he was pretending because of all the heat on him.”

Luke: “No, he’s really blind.”

Danny: “Oh.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #38 by Brian Michael Bendis, Manuel Gutierrez, and Matt Hollingsworth

    These are just a few examples, but you get the idea. It’s very rare that someone figures out that Daredevil is blind without it being tied to a full-on secret identity reveal. The best example I can think of is this great moment from one of the Daredevil/Batman crossovers. Trust the World’s Greatest Detective to figure it out…

[ID: Daredevil and Batman are standing together on a rooftop at night.]

Bruce: “Let’s say you’re visually impaired. You favor your other modes of sensory input. A subtle inclination of your head when there’s a sound. An extremely slight flaring of your nostrils, probably indicating olfactory acuteness. You’re practiced– or possess sensory enhancements– making your powers of observation markedly proficient.”

Matt: “Thanks. Yours aren’t bad, either.”

Daredevil and Batman by D.G. Chichester, Scott McDaniel, and Gregory Wright

    I love this because Matt’s blindness and powers would affect his body language, and I kind of wish that more characters– particularly those with combat expertise– would notice. As it stands, pretty much everyone who knows that Daredevil is blind also learns about his hypersenses immediately afterward, and since there’s always been a tendency for writers to allow Matt’s powers to get him out of situations that would generally require sight, his blindness doesn’t come up as much as I wish it would within the context of his actual hero work and team-ups. The little evidence available suggests that his fellow heroes are accommodating (we get little details, like the fact that the text on Matt’s Avengers ID card is written in braille) and they’re generally impressed by him, but they don’t make that big a deal of it. Sometimes they’ll forget he’s blind, but he is quick to remind them. In the wider context of the Marvel superhero community, a blind superhero isn’t that weird, no matter what Brainwashed Wolverine™ might claim:  

[ID: Wolverine and Matt (in costume, but without his mask) are fighting in Matt’s apartment. Wolverine is slashing with his claws; Matt is trying to restrain him]

Logan: “Hands offa me, you blind freak!”

Matt: “This isn’t you that’s saying this. You have to fight it, Wolverine. You’ve just been reprogrammed.”

Logan (caption): “Listen to you, Murdock: talking like you’re some kinda super hero– Ever wonder why they didn’t ask you to join their fancy teams, big shot? Ever wonder why you always work alone? ‘Cuz you’re blind. Handicapped. Oughta hear the sick jokes they crack behind your back–”

Wolverine (2003) #24 by Mark Millar, John Romita, Jr., Paul Mounts

    (This comes after a long rant about how Matt gets more dates than him. Brainwashed Wolverine™ was going through some stuff in this issue…)

    One context in which Matt’s blindness does come up is in his interactions with other blind superheroes. In these cases, it usually serves as a source of bonding. Gerry Conway gives us this weird-yet-touching issue in which Matt encounters a blind hero from another dimension:

[ID: Daredevil is standing over a figure (Tagak), who is wearing a purple and orange skin-tight suit and a leopard-print mask that covers his whole head.]

Matt: “Now maybe I’ll get some answers! Like, number one… who you are… and number two… how you pretend to see– when you’re blind!”

Tagak: “How…?”

Matt: “Big clue: the way you hesitated just now… and let’s just say it takes one to know one!”

Tagak: “Then you…? It seems there is much to speak about, my friend!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #72 Gerry Conway and Gene Colan

   Since Matt generally works so hard to hide his blindness while in costume, it’s notable that he shares this information with Tagak within minutes of meeting him– especially when he didn’t actually have to.

    Here’s a more recent example, from after Matt has revealed his secret identity to the Inhuman superhero Reader:

[ID: A panel showing Reader sitting at a table, with Matt– in civvies and with his arm in a sling– standing next to the table.]

Reader: “Wait… are you really blind? Gotta admit, I kind of liked being on a team with another blind guy.”

Matt: “I’m really blind.”

Reader: “Then how…”

Matt: “You’ve got your tricks, Reader, I’ve got mine.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #609 by Charles Soule and Phil Noto

    This example is a bit more complicated, since (spoiler alert) it’s all in Matt’s head, but 1. this conversation seems in-character for Reader anyway, and 2. the fact that Matt would want him to react this way is still significant.

    And then there are the villains! One of my favorite examples of Matt’s blindness coming into play in his hero work is this great scene from Waid’s run, in which the Jester– having learned Matt’s secret identity but assuming that the blindness is just an act (as everyone does at first, see above)– sets a trap that is entirely vision-reliant…

[ID: Matt, in civvies, comes across a life-sized dummy of Foggy hanging from a noose. He perceives it in an unrecognizable form with his radar sense. This alternates with panels of the Jester, who is sitting in front of an array of computer screens and getting increasingly agitated.]

Matt (caption): “And what is this? A Jaycees haunted house? Who are you supposed to represent?”

Jester: “He’s staring right at it! Why– why isn’t he reacting?”

Matt (caption): “Real dead bodies have a distinct odor, Jester. This smells like foam rubber and latex. What were you trying to accomplish here? Fail.”

Jester: “React, damn you! That’s your best friend hanging from a noose! Anyone who’s ever seen Murdock in a fight knows the ‘blind lawyer’ gag is a put-on! Open your eyes!”

Daredevil vol. 3 #32 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Javier Rodriguez

    I don’t really have headcanons as much as I have a wish to see more of this sort of thing in the source material itself (though I would love to hear other people’s headcanons, if they have some!). We’ve come a long way, in general, from the “Matt’s senses more than compensate for his blindness” attitude that plagued early (and some more recent, unfortunately) Daredevil comics, and Waid’s run in particular made great strides in this area, but I always feel like more can be done. I want Matt to hang out with more of the Marvel Universe’s other blind characters (there are a bunch of them!). I want his blindness to come up more often in his team-ups with sighted heroes. We’ve seen antagonists target his hypersenses, but I was surprised and a little disappointed that, back when his blindness was public knowledge, his rogues didn’t try to use that against him. On the other hand, we got awesome things like this during that period…

[ID: A panel showing Matt on the street, in civvies, signing an autograph for a blind kid with a service dog.]

Daredevil vol. 4 #11 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Matt Wilson

    …which is another of the many reasons I’m sad it’s over, as Matt/Daredevil interacting more with the non-powered disabled community is another thing I want– including negotiating his identity as a superpowered disabled person. 

    There’s a tricky line that needs to be walked in handling this aspect of Matt’s character. In making his blindness too prominent, or too debilitating, there’s a risk of turning him into a caricature or making it seem like a burden rather than a simple fact of his existence. Matt is a complex character, and his sensory array is only one part of that complexity. But he is one of the most prominent blind characters in comics– if not media in general– and I still feel like there are a lot of stories surrounding this part of his identity that haven’t yet been told, in the context of both the civilian and superhero sides of his life.