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remember-that-one-blog · 4 months

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As We Go Along (Part 1)

You were offered up as a payment to a mob boss by your father and step-mother. He agreed. Now you're the fiance of the most feared man in New York.

I do not own these characters!

Warnings: Abuse not openly mentioned but is talked about.

This first part is more of a background and getting to know each other chapter. More to come!

You were a burden. At least that’s the way they made you feel. You were from your father’s first marriage. Your mother had died when you were young and your step-mother never had anything for you. She never loved you, but she loved your sister. The daughter she had with your father. You knew this but you never thought she would talk your father into doing this to you. Marrying you off to some mob boss so he could get himself out of debt that he got himself in. She came up with it and he took it to the boss’ right hand man. Two days letter you’re engaged. You didn’t care either way. You hadn’t met the man yet, but you had heard rumors. He was cold-hearted and cruel. Nothing you weren’t used to.

Your father told you that you were to meet him tomorrow at his home.

“You will meet him tomorrow at noon. Here is the address. It should be easy enough to find.”

“Yes, sir.” Your father nodded without another word. That let you know that you were on your own now. Not that you haven’t been since your mom died. You packed up what little you had. Everything you owned fit into one duffle bag. As you laid in your bed for the last time you looked back on your time here with your family. You decided nowhere could be worse than here. With that thought in mind you slipped into a dreamless sleep.

You stood outside your childhood home giving it one last glance. It was bittersweet leaving this place. This is where you had all the memories of your mother, but this place had also been your living hell. You turned away with all the good memories of your mother in the forefront of your mind. A small part of you felt she was leaving with you as well.

You made your way to the bus stop. You looked at the address and read the bus schedule so you knew which bus you would need to take. It was hard, you had been getting around like this for years. You found when the bus you needed would be here you had hoped you left early enough just in case of any delays the buses may have.

You timed it just right. You made it to the address with ten minutes to spare. Although, all you saw was a giant gate but no house. A loud beep caught made you jump. That’s when you saw the intercom.

“State your business.”

“I’m Alexander Pierce’s daughter. I’m supposed to meet Mr. Barnes.” You heard the gate buzz open. A tall, blonde man in a black suit appeared before you in a black SUV. He stepped out to greet you.

“Ms. Pierce, Mr. Barnes has been expecting you. My name is Steve. I can help you with your bags.” He looked around you confused. You felt your face go bright red.

“This is all I have.” You grabbed your duffle bag by the handle. You saw something flash in his eyes but you weren’t sure what. He nodded and held the front door open for you.

“Here, I’ll put it in the back for you.” Steve took your duffle and sat it in the back seat.

“Thank you.” He gave you his hand to help you as you climbed into the front seat. This was new for you. You had never been treated this well. Maybe they were expecting someone else. You couldn’t help as these thoughts ran through your mind. Steve could tell you didn’t want to talk so he left the two of you in a comfortable silence.

It was a short drive to the house you were going to. It was more of a mansion. You felt your mouth drop at the sight. You heard Steve chuckle a bit. Your face went red again.

“It’s a lot to take in, I know. You’ll be fine. He’s not so bad once you get to know him.”

“You know him pretty well then?”

“I do. Been friends since we were kids. I know him better than he knows himself most of the time.” You nodded as you took in this information. That gave you a little bit of hope, not that you really ever clinged to it. Steve stopped the vehicle as you reached the front door. He got out, grabbed your bag, and proceeded to help you down onto the ground. “Take a deep breath and follow me. You’ll be fine.”

You nodded as you followed Steve up the stairs. The front door itself was huge. You don’t think you’ve ever seen a place this big. Not that someone lived in any way. As you stepped inside you tried to take it all in. It was beautiful. Everything seemed to be decorated in light gray, white, and gold accents. While it was beautiful it didn’t have that homey feel that most homes do. Given what he does, that's not too surprising. There were tall windows everywhere. It made everything look even bigger. It was very modern. You were still reeling as you followed Steve further into the house. As you reached your destination you heard yelling that made you jump. Steve steadied you with a hand to your shoulder.

“It’s okay. Give me a minute while I go talk to him.” You just nodded. Steve sat your bag down beside you and knocked three times on the door.

“Come in!” Steve cracked the door and stuck his head in,

“Buck, it’s Pierce’s daughter.”

“Send her in.” Steve stepped back out to usher you inside the room. Once you entered your eyes went straight to the man behind the desk. He was handsome. Dark hair and bright blue eyes. He was almost as tall as Steve and just as built as he was. He was in a dark gray three piece suit.

“Ms. Pierce, I’ve been expecting you. How did your driver find the place?” You felt yourself deflate. So he had been expecting your sister. You wanted to ask but couldn’t bring yourself to, afraid of the answer.

“Uh, I didn’t - I mean, I brought myself. I don’t have a driver.” Bucky stopped what he was doing. You were looking down at the floor. He said your name just loud enough. Surprised you glanced up at him.

“You mean to tell me, your father sent you here alone?”

“Yes, sir. He did.” Bucky felt his skin crawl. At first glance he thought you were beautiful. Nothing would change that. As he looked closer though he could tell you weren’t taken care of. He could tell you had been given the bare minimum to survive. That was something that would not bode well with him.

“Why would he send you here alone?” You knew the true answer, but you were sure Bucky didn’t want to hear that.

“He had other business to attend to and I was capable of making it here myself.” Bucky didn’t like that answer.

“That’s not an acceptable reason.” That surprised you. “And doll, you can call me Bucky, everyone else does. ‘Sir’ is what everyone called my father.” His nickname for you caught you by surprise. You weren’t sure how to feel about it, but you didn’t hate it

“Of course, sir- I mean, Bucky.” Bucky straightened his tie and made his way to you.

“I have a meeting in a couple of minutes, I don’t have time to show you around or I would. Steve can show you around. I just have two rules.” You nodded to show you were listening. “Never go anywhere alone and never knock on or open this door if it’s closed. The only exception is if it is an emergency. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Steve, if you’ll show her around. I’ll meet you for dinner around seven, doll. I’ll take you out and we’ll get to know each other.” Before you could answer his phone rang. You followed Steve back out of the office and watched him pull the door closed. Steve must have sensed your hesitation.

“Just put on the best clothes you have, sweetheart.” You just nodded. You really didn’t have anything to go out in. You would see what you had though. You followed Steve around as he showed you where everything was. What you couldn’t wait to use was the kitchen. You loved to cook and bake. You didn’t get the chance to do it much at home, but maybe you could here. Finally, Steve showed you to your room. It was three times bigger than your old room was. You had what seemed to be a king sized bed, a little balcony that overlooked the backyard, an en suite bathroom and a closet that you could fit your entire old room in.

“Bucky thought you would want some space. He knows this wasn’t up to you.”

“I’ll have to tell him thank you.” Steve sat your duffle bag beside the bed.

“I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be just down the hall if you need me.”

“Thank you, Steve.” He closed your door as he left. You looked around and laid down on the bed. It was so soft and cozy! You couldn’t believe it. You pinched yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming. Maybe, just maybe, this would be okay.

Steve listened for you but you seemed to be unpacking. He could hear you moving around. Once he was sure you were okay, he went to talk to Bucky. Steve saw the door cracked and eased his way inside. Bucky was on the phone but he wasn’t as heated as earlier. He saw Steve made his way to him and ended the call. Steve made his way over to a seat in front of Bucky’s desk.

“So, anything?”

“She’s not anything like her father. She seems to be the exact opposite. She’s quiet, reserved. She doesn’t own a lot, Buck. She came here with one duffle bag. One.” That made Bucky’s skin prickle. He knew Pierce was a harsh man but didn’t think he would be harsh with his daughter.

“So you don’t think this is a set up?”

“If it is, she doesn’t know about it. From what I can tell she wouldn’t do something like that. She’s too soft spoken to do or go along with something like that.”

“I picked up on that, too. I don’t think she was treated well there.” Steve shook his head.

“I don’t think she was either. She seems to be genuine. Which is a surprise considering who her father is.” Bucky nodded. This was unusual, even for him. He normally wouldn’t agree to something like this, but he was looking to settle down as well. The last few women he dated only wanted him for money. He was hoping this might change that.

“Where did you plan on taking her tonight?”

“I’m not sure yet. Why?”

“I don’t think she has anything to wear to a nice restaurant. She seemed a bit panicked when you brought it up.”

“We’ll eat in tonight then. Would you care to go get it?”

“Not at all. You could go talk to her if you want. She’s good, Buck. You could use some good.” Bucky nodded. That was true he could. Steve got up to go get dinner while Bucky debated on going to find you.

You decided to go look around yourself taking your time. You couldn’t find Steve so you decided to go downstairs and see if you could find him there. You looked down the small hallway to see Bucky’s office door was cracked. You thought about going to ask him if you could look around yourself, but your thoughts were distracted by the kitchen. It was state-of-the-art. The mixers, the pans, the refrigerator. Everything was something out of one of your dreams. Your thoughts were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. You jumped, turning around to see Bucky standing behind you.

“There you are. I thought you would still be unpacking.”

“No, it didn’t take me long. Sorry, I was just curious to see what you had in here. It’s amazing.” You looked around, still blown away by his kitchen.

“No need to apologize. Make yourself at home.” You gave him a small smile. You weren’t sure you knew how to do that. Bucky made his way over to one of the bar stools. He sat down while he eyed you from across the counter. He studied you as you studied him. He seemed to be a little more relaxed. His jacket was off and the sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up to his elbows. Bucky noticed you changed into an oversized sweatshirt, some leggings and fuzzy socks. You seemed so cozy. “So, tell me about yourself, doll. What do you like to do?”

“There isn’t much to tell really. I help my family out when I can and bake if I get the chance.” Bucky nodded his head.

“What’s your favorite thing to bake?”

“Chocolate chip cookies, any kind of cookie really but definitely chocolate chip.”

“Would you wanna make some?” You felt your eyes get big. “No one uses the kitchen much. I usually either go out or order in and no one ever bakes.” You felt yourself getting excited.

“Yeah, I’d love to.” You gave Bucky a genuine smile. Those were very rare for you. Bucky gave you one back, his were probably as rare as yours were, maybe even moreso.

Many cookies later, you and Bucky asked small questions at first. You found out he loved sweets and would love to have a dog but is afraid he wouldn’t have the time for one. He found out you loved dogs, even more than you loved baking, and you had never left the state of New York.

“We’ll change that, doll. Don’t you worry.” You giggled at that.

“You know, you’re nothing like everyone makes you out to be.”

“I’m sure my reputation proceeds me. Let me guess, a cold hearted killer and womanizer? That’s what they say in the tabloids I see every now and then.”

“Pretty much, but I will say you are much kinder to me than what I’m used to.” You gave him a small smile. You saw something flash in his eyes that you couldn’t place. With that he decided to bring up the elephant in the room.

“There is something I do want to talk to you about, doll.” You took a pan of cookies out of the oven and sat the next pan in while the others cooled.

“Okay, what’s that?”

“The reason I agreed to your father’s proposal.” You turned around to face him. You had been curious about it but didn’t want to ask out right.

“Okay.”

“Did you want to ask me anything?”

“I did wonder why you agreed to it. I mean, I’m nothing special. Men usually come to my father about proposals for my sister, not me. Although I know this was his idea. I’m just surprised you agreed to it.” You had never been this open and honest with someone you just met. There was just something about Bucky. “I’m sorry, that was overstepping. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Not overstepping, doll. I surprised myself when I agreed to it. The thing is, I am ready to settle down, but not give up my title just yet. I am tired of women just wanting money or just wanting to say they were with me. Granted, I could have gone about it differently than this, but it’s hard to find someone who doesn’t want something.”

“My father was the one who wanted something though.”

“Yes, but not you. I’m just curious as to why you just went along with it.” You took a deep breath.

“You want an honest answer?”

“Of course, doll.”

“I didn’t have a choice. My family also sees me as in the way. So, it got me out of their way.” Bucky’s heart broke for you. You could see it in his eyes. You felt your face turn bright red. You were going to be honest. Your family never hid their disdain for you around anyone, so you didn’t see the point in trying to hide it yourself.

“That’s terrible, doll. I can assure you, you won’t be in the way here. If you ever feel like that you come to me, understand?”

“I understand.” The timer went off for the last batch of cookies just as Steve walked in the door with take out. Your stomach immediately rumbled at the smell of Chinese food. Steve walked in, sitting the food on the counter.

“It smells like a bakery. Did you do all this?” Steve looked around at all the cookies you had baked. You felt your face turn red again.

“She did, we’re gonna try them after we eat.”

“They smell amazing. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

“Wait, Steve! Here, take some with you. I made way too many as it is.” You hurriedly put a couple of batches in some containers you had found earlier. Steve looked to Bucky as you were packing up the cookies. Steve gave Bucky a small smile and a slight nod you didn’t pick up on. You handed Steve the bag before Bucky could silently reply to Steve. Steve gave you a big smile.

“Thanks, sweetheart. I can’t wait to try them.”

“Let me know what you think. I haven’t got my recipe just right yet.”

“I’ll let you know. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Steve left you all to your dinner. Bucky started getting the containers out. You decided to go ahead and put the cookies that were already cooled in a container. Bucky was still getting food out when you were finished. You hadn’t seen this much food in front of you in a long time. Not that you didn’t eat, you just didn’t eat much. Bucky watched your eyes get wide.

“You okay, doll?”

“Yeah, that’s just a lot of food.”

“Maybe, but then we can have leftovers tomorrow.” He said it so easily. You were a little taken back. “Doll, would you care to get these last few containers out so I can go change. Then we’ll eat.” You just nodded. You didn’t have it in you to reply. Bucky walked up the stairs to his room as you got the last few containers out. You were still in shock at all the food. And the fact that he got some for you too caught you off guard. You didn’t realize it but you felt tears in your eyes. Usually when your family ordered out you got what was left and if you were still hungry you made yourself something in the kitchen. You didn’t hear Bucky come up behind you.

“Everything okay, doll?” He noticed the tears in your eyes. You quickly wiped them away. You noticed he had changed into a white t-shirt and some gray sweatpants. You thought he looked even better like this than in his suit.

“Yeah, everything is fine. I was just getting the rest out.” You put the paper bag in the trash can you found earlier. Bucky sat down on the same bar stool from earlier. He started opening the containers.

“Get whatever you like, doll. I got some of everything. I didn’t know what you would like.” You didn’t know what you would like either. You hadn’t had Chinese takeout before. Your family would get it sometimes but there was never any left for you. “What’s going on in your head?”

“Um, it’s just, uh-”

“Doll, you can talk to me. The side of me you see right now, no one else sees. This is for you and you alone. I want you to be able to talk to me. I know this isn’t conventional but I would like to be able to be open and honest with one another.” You wanted that too, but you weren’t sure how to do it. You never had anyone to confide in. Ever. This was all so new to you, so you decided to be open and honest about everything.

“I’m not used to this, Bucky. I’m not used to being doted on. I never get take-out. I don’t get luxurious bedrooms. I get told what to do and when to do it. I don’t know how to confide in someone. I don’t know how to make myself at home because I’ve never had that luxury. I always get the bare minimum. I’m the burden of my family and they let everyone know.” You hadn’t realized tears started to spill over by the end of what was always on your heart. You had never told anyone this. Bucky reached for your hand nearest him. When you didn’t pull away he clasped it in both of his. You could see Bucky’s eyes dim and then watch something light in them you had never seen before.

“You will never be in the way here. You are going to be my wife and with that is going to come a lot of things you’re not used to. I can see that now. If you are ever overwhelmed please do not hesitate to tell me. I want you to be able to tell me what you’re feeling. This is new to me, too. I want to be honest with you. Granted there are some things that I do that I would rather keep you away from and I will try my best to. Doll, here you will be taken care of and doted on. You won’t even remember what it was like at that house you lived in. We’ll learn as we go along.” You didn’t realize you needed to hear that. You squeezed Bucky’s hand as well as you could as he had started holding your more firmly than before.

“We’ll learn as we go along.” He squeezed your hand back releasing it.

“Great, now that we’ve talked about that. What do you want to try first?” You smiled as you pointed to some chicken that looked good. Bucky handed it to you and waited until you tried it before he grabbed something as well.

And that’s how your first night went with your fiance. Trying Chinese take-out you had never had and learning how to make yourself at home. Maybe you could get used to this.

#bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky #mob!bucky x reader #mob!au #marvel imagine #bucky barnes #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky x you #platonic steve x reader #marvel #the avengers #mafia!bucky #soft bucky #soft!bucky

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rukia-writes · 3 months

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Shy! Reader x Hercules

Plot: Hercules getting his shy nymph to come out of her shell.

A/N: the idea came to me after watching a show.

Warnings: no minors 🔞, 18+, talks of sex, sexual frustration.

Nymphs.

Nymphs were young, spiritedly women that resided in forests, rivers, mountains, and were said to be beautiful. Of course, each nymph had her own personality just like anyone else.

(Name) was no different.

A shy nymph who by definition was the opposite of what she was defined by from others; uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous, bashful, timid, or insecure opposite of nymphs.

Especially, that of her sisters.

Speaking of which.

“Im so sick of her!”

The oldest of her sisters came to complain about the youngest sister (Name), as another suitor left in tears by (Name) rejecting him. The eldest counted that as the tenth suitor scorned…

She believed his name was Adamas or something.

“Poseidon and Hades and even…Buddha of all people want to be her lover and she just rejects them all?! What does she have that I don’t?!”

“She doesn’t yell for one thing.”

The middle sister spoke in a cool voice while reading a magazine featuring Aphrodite, beauty tips of course. As (Name) walked to her room, by passing her sisters they wondered who and when (Name) would start dating.

Truth was, (Name) had feelings for someone…

She was just shy.

It didn’t matter how many suitors came for her she wanted one person, and that was the envoy of Justice that saved her life.

A hero among gods.

In her alone time she would daydream about him, and sometimes she would wonder if she would see him again. Missing those beautiful blue eyes, his strong arms that protected her from harm, his bright orange hair and of course his big and bright smile.

Sighing to herself in her room she wished she could see him again.

“Oh come on, (Name) be my date.”

“No, Ares.”

The next day, Ares arrived on her doorstep asking again for a date. (Name)’s sisters were gossiping among themselves as the eldest was simply watching the situation unfold while the middle sister had a crush on the god of war.

The two were walking out towards the gardens and the two simply had banter back and forth of “One date” and “I’m not free that day.” And “You said that last time.” And “I’m also not free that day either.”

Ares was a bold person while (Name) was a shy and a little nervous around the tall and well toned god that could bench press a house with ease. Good thing he was easy to talk to and he wasn’t easily angered.

Unless, you’re Apollo.

“Well, at least come to the party. Everyone is going to be there. Apollo, Shiva, Buddha, Hercules. Everyone.”

Feeling her heart skip a beat when she heard Ares say Hercules, she then wanted to go to the party. Thinking to herself how great it would be to see Hercules again.

“Okay, I’ll go-“

“Okay, I’ll pick you up!”

Ares smiled as he was happy to get his crush to go to the party, her sisters watched in the bushes and were happy as there sister would finally meet someone.

(Name) did meet someone; she met him once more.

At the party, Hercules was the same as ever. Friendly and polite to everyone he talked to. Even when Ares introduced the two Hercules was the same and (Name) was shy in meeting the demi-god again.

Well, at least the two were joined at the hip the whole time.

Ares was none the wiser for it.

Maybe a little.

“Im so sick of her!”

The suitors never stopped coming for (Name)’s hand and her sisters jealousy never seemed to subside.

“At least she’s not here all the time.”

That was true, (Name) wasn’t home as much. (Name) wasn’t home now, she had been gone all day and had returned awfully late. Like any sister, the three older sisters crowded around (Name) while asking to what seemed like a million questions.

“Could you guys leave? I was just with a friend.”

Nervous in her response while holding something close to her chest, like any sibling the sisters tried their best to see what their younger sister was hiding and what friend she had been out all day with. Once she finally got her sisters out of her room she sighed in relief and placed the gift Hercules gave her on her bed.

The two had exchanged gifts earlier that day, Hercules gifted (Name) with a simple yet thoughtful gift of a rather small doll of himself. It was rather cute and Hercules like. “To keep you company at night.” Is what Hercules told her, a thoughtful and kind gesture.

With time, the two became close.

Hercules could handle her shyness with kindness, (Name) could handle Hercules boldness with her gentleness. The introvert and the extrovert. The visits became longer and longer making her sisters jealousy turn to worry. Thinking to themselves “she too in love.”

If she wasn’t at home she was on the phone.

Talking with someone.

“Prove it.”

“… excuse me?”

“Come over here and prove it. Or I could come over there.”

“My sisters would hear..”

(Name) was still shy around Hercules even if the two talked over the phone, he was the man she had feelings and affection for and yet while still shy she couldn’t deny that she made her hot sometimes.

Most times.

“No, see I’m pretty quiet.”

“…You’re funny.”

“I know I am-I am quiet.”

“They would definitely hear your foot steps.”

Smiling (Name) poked a little fun at Hercules who was playfully hurt, knowing (Name) had a point. Hercules wasn’t quiet when he walked, man was massive. A fucking unit.

“Fine, I’ll stay here then.”

“…but if you were here what would you do?”

Shy when asking (Name) could hear heart beat in her chest, as she awaited his answer wondering quickly if he would tell her something clever or sly. (Name) hoped for the sly and when she heard the chuckle heart and her clit jumped in excitement.

“What do you think I would do?”

Ah, teasing.

Clearing her throat and gathering her thoughts as this was a first for her, never did she think she would be flirting with the envoy of justice.

“I..I asked you first.”

Smiling in triumphantly as though she had victory in her hands, only for the envoy of justice to flip the script on her.

“Well first I’d pull you close to me. Then I would kiss your forehead, softly of course. Then I would kiss both sides of your neck. Because I know you would like that.”

“My neck..you would kiss my neck”

Shyly responding to the man of her dreams while placing her hand on the side of her neck, imagining Hercules softly kissing her neck as her heart beat increased as well the excitement between her legs.

“Yes, then I’d take off all your clothes. Just so I could see all of you. Then I would please you in all the right places. I’m in a giving mood you know.”

Hercules was no fool, he could hear the her panting a little over the phone, getting his shy nymph horny was working perfectly and he was in a giving mood that night.

“Then…then what?”

“Then…I would kiss your chest and then I would kiss your stomach, slowly. And then when i was ready I would kiss your clit.”

Hot and bothered.

Both parties seemed to be enjoying their first phone sex encounter.

“And then once you are begging and only when you were begging would give what you want. And I would do it slowly. Build up is important.”

Build up was important.

(Name) could feel her heart beating fast with the excitement between her legs growing more as she began to touch her chest holding the phone for dear life, imagining what Hercules tongue must feel like.

Shy or not, she wanted the fiery righteous god.

A dirty thought crossed her mind as she thought of Hercules’ cock, how big it was, was it curved or not, skinny or fat. The nymph side was coming out for sure.

“And then..”

“And then what?”

Smiling, Hercules knew several things, he knew he had her in the palms of his hand, that she wasn’t ready for that yet, and he liked how things were going.

“…well, I guess the only to get your answer is to come see me.”

End call.

Yes, the shy nymph had experienced her first phone sex experience as well as her first experience of being sexually frustrated as she sighed in frustration while laying on her back on her bed wanting Hercules like never before.

🎀Rukia-Writes🎀

#ror x reader #Hercules x reader #record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader

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brooooswriting · 9 months

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vada/jenna being like, super touchy and needy? after r was away for a couple of days due to going to see their fam/going on holiday..

btw love ur work!! i’m waiting for p2 of whipped :)) it was so cute

-a

Never leave again

Vada Cavell x reader

The holidays used to be vadas favorite time, People from school were annoying the fuck out of her and she hated waking up early. So the holidays, where she could spend everyday with either Nick or Amelia was great. Until she met you.

She suddenly loved school and you were the reason. While nick and her drove to school together you’d wait for her outside every damn day, walking her to her locker and to class, offering her snacks, skipping classes with her every now and then. You were everything she wished for and at the same time everything her parents wished for her, at least mostly.

Vada was impulsive, she didn’t think most of her actions through which made her being alone dangerous. But you? You were always on time, you had good grades and manners, you were calculated at most times and knew how to deal with Vada. What her parents didn’t know was that you liked to drink and smoke too every now and then. But after all you were still just a teenager.

But now Vada had a problem with holidays, your family was one of those families who liked to go away every damn holiday. When you were on short trips they allowed you to take Vada with you, but when you asked if you could take Vada with you to your aunts house they denied. It was supposed to be an only family vacation, your sister also wasn’t allowed to take somebody with her. Even after four days of annoying them you weren’t allowed to take her with you. Sure, 6 days weren’t the world but still.

So you said your goodbye with some tears being shed on Vadas side, which nearly made you cry too. After promising that you’d text her and call her everyday she finally let you go and get into the car, waving you until you were out of sight.

Obviously you kept your promise and texted her everyday but sadly the WiFi was terrible so it wasn’t a lot of texting. You could text her like three times a day, no pictures or FaceTime. Vada understood that it wasn’t your fault and was fine with your three texts but not being able to talk to you for longer than 5 minutes.

Your family decided to stay a week longer, your and vadas downfall. At least until you could convince them to let you go already, your grandparents offered to take them home which meant that you could take the car and go back home. You decided to not tell Vada until you arrived, loading up and her favorite snacks and fast food you parked in front of her house and rang her up.

“Look outside” you said as soon as she picked up, a confused grunt following your statement indicating that she took a nap when you called.

“Why would I?” She asked with a yawn, but you could still hear her standing up. So you got out of the car and leaned against the hood, smiling as soon as you saw the front door crack open.

“Y/n” she squealed, running across the street into your arms. Her arms wrapped around your neck and your legs around your waist, while your rested under her legs to keep her up. You quickly pressed your lips to her head before nuzzling your head into the crook of her neck, placing soft kisses there.

“God, I missed you” you mumbled into her, slightly pulling away to press a kiss to her lips. She hummed in delight, one of her hands playing with the baby hairs on your neck. “I have some snacks, fast food and a house alllll to myself. Wanna come?” You grinned as you sat her back on the ground, a while leaving her.

“Of course, I’ll just get my phone and tell my parents. Then we can go” she said, grabbing your hand and pulling you along which caused you to grunt, clearly confused.

“Why am I coming along?” You asked laughing slightly as you tripped over your own feet. “Hey Mr. And Mrs. Cavell, Amelia” you called out as Vada pulled you up to her room. A faint ‘hello y/n” before laughing.

“Because, I’m not letting you go again, you’re staying with me from now on” she stated completely serious, her hand tightening around yours. The small brunette pulled your intertwined hands up to her mouth, quickly pressing a kiss to the back of yours. “Now let’s go, I gotta tell my parents” she pulled you downstairs with her, into the kitchen were her parents stood. “I’m gonna go with y/n ok?” She said as if it was the most normal and obvious thing ever, and to them it kind off was.

“Alright, don’t do anything stupid” her mother said, pressing a kiss to her head before side hugging you. You smiled and hugged her back before shaking her fathers hand, mumbling a ‘Mr. Cavell’ which made him laugh. He had told you around a thousand times to stop calling him that but you stocked with him, wanting to show him as much respect as possible.

You said your goodbyes and disappeared off to your car where you opened the passenger door for her and helped her inside before closing the door and getting in yourself. Starting the car and driving off was harder than you thought with one hand as Vada whined and grunted as soon as you were in the car, only stopping when your hand started to stroke her thigh. “Took you long enough” she grinned, you chuckled and waited until the next red light to lean over and kiss her.

Once you arrived you brought your suitcase, the snacks and the fast food inside. “I’m gonna take a shower real quick, why don’t you already choose a movie?” You asked as you set the snacks down.

“You know what, I think I might need a shower too” she grinned and run upstairs to the bathroom, you chuckled and shook your head before following. Whatever one might think happened in that shower, is probably wrong. The small brunette clung onto you the whole time, making it hard to get clean but at one point you still succeeded and could finally leave the shower. Both of you got redressed in comfy cloths before going downstairs to eat on the couch while watching whatever movie Vada chose.

Even while eating her legs were thrown over yours, her body constantly touching yours. It has been a rather long time since you and Vada had been separated for that long so her touchiness wasn’t really something that you were confused by.

Once you guys finished your food you laid back, the petite brunette immediately laying on top of you, pulling herself as close as possible. A smile forming on your face as your hand rubbed up and down her back. “I want a kiss” she mumbled into your chest for the sixth time in probably 15 minutes but nonetheless you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips, this time she didn’t let you go quickly. She kept the kiss going, titling her head to deepen it, a small moan leaving your mouth causing a grin to form on her face. “You’re insatiable, you know that?” You smiled as you parted, her lips slightly swollen and red.

A giggle left her mouth as she nodded, her hands placing themself under your hoodie, causing a shiver to erupt all over your body. Her touch always had that effect on you. “I love you” you mumbled into her hair as your arms wrapped around her waist.

“I love you too” she said and kissed your chest through your hoodie. The tv was still silently playing in the back, but both of you were only focused on each other, finally being able to bask in each others presence again. You couldn’t wait to spend a week with Vada alone.

“Wanna smoke?” You asked, a happy squeal leaving her mouth as she jumped up and pulled you outside with her. You went to sit on one of the chairs, thinking Vada would sit on the one next to you but instead she settled onto your lap, her head resting against your shoulder.

You didn’t think that getting high would make Vada even clingier but it did, she didn’t even stand up when you decided to go to bed. Instead insisting on you carrying her to bed, which you did. And again, the moment your back touched the bed she was on top of you. But the thing is, you wouldn’t have changed it for the world. There was something about Vada being vulnerable like this which made you melt.

She fell asleep on you almost immediately, a chuckle leaving your chest as she snorted slightly. God, you love this woman.

#reader insert #brooooswriting #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #vada cavell x you #vada cavell x reader #vada cavell

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wildflowerluver · 1 year

Text

sweet pea

aaron hotchner x teen!reader, bau team x teen!reader

5 times the team hears about you and the 1 time they actually meet you

cw: fem reader, set over the span of three years, case mentions, broken family unit, hotchner trio, hotch is a swiftie, also refers to his daughter as ‘sweet pea’, team is nosy, eating/food, forehead kisses run the hotchner home

wc: 3.4k

༺♡༻

1. inception

child cases are always rough.

they’re not only extremely sensitive, but they hit emotionally for everyone involved.

it’s a small town and yet no strong leads. there’s no reason for the case to be as difficult as it is, but every case the team looks into is different.

local p.d. bring in a woman named chancy solace. she was the last one to see the missing boy alive and no one wants to wait around for another death to happen to look for evidence.

hotch was set to do the interview.

he asked basic questions about the missing boy, keeping his voice calm as she recounted her day through tears. they all knew she was innocent, no doubts about it. he was set to finish up after a few moments. it was clear she didn’t know much.

as he went to stand, however, solace had stopped him.

“do you have children, agent hotchner?” her voice was broken.

hotch nods. “i do.”

“how old?”

“my son is 3 and my daughter is 13.”

the air outside the room went stale. everyone on the team knew jack. some had even met him within his first few weeks of life. he was three, that was a fact - but a daughter? not once had hotch mentioned one, let alone one with such a large age gap. jack never rattled about a big sister either.

solace frowned, more tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. “then you must understand the guilt i’m feeling right now. can you imagine if you were the last one to see your daughter before she disappeared? how can i possibly have it in me to be a part of this?”

hotch doesn’t want to think about the question she posed, not at all.

“we’re going to find him. it’s going to be alright,” it was a promise, one hotch intended not to break.

he left the room after that. their only known witness wasn’t much help for the case and there was no point in wasting time.

rossi stops hotch before he can walk away.

“why’d you lie?”

there’s no question on what rossi is asking about. it’s profiling 101 that lying to a suspect, no matter innocent or not, could be dangerous.

hotch glanced at his team.

“i didn’t.”

2. first encounter

you’ve had a really, really, really bad day.

from the second you woke up, everything seemed to go wrong. school wasn’t any better and by the end of the day, the only thing you wanted to do was see your dad. he’s your favorite person and a hug from him always reassures you that things will be okay.

you text him before your last class of the day to ask when he’ll be home. if it’s even possible, a deeper frown appears on his face when he tells you no later than six.

part of you wants to be happy from that response. no later than six means there’s no cases and he’s on top of his files. but after the day you had, you just need someone and waiting nearly four hours for him to get home is less than ideal.

can i come to the bau?

your text is a shot in the dark. your dad keeps you out of his profession and you’ve never stepped foot in quantico. you just hope he gets some sort of semblance for what's going on if you're asking to come see him.

he responds back seconds later. ‘i’ll send an agent.’

it’s not that he doesn’t trust you to get there on your own, there’s even a direct line from the train station closest to your school, but you're still young, only 14, and you know he would feel more comfortable having an agent pick you up.

the next time you check your phone, your dad has sent a message with the name of the agent and instructions on how to prove that it’s him. it’s not him being overprotective, it’s him wanting you to be safe.

agent anderson is easy enough to spot. you run through the procedures your dad wanted and once you know it’s the right person, you get in the car.

he doesn’t say anything when you shove your earbuds in your ears and shuffle your playlist and you’re thankful for that. you’re especially grateful that he doesn’t ask questions when you bite your lip and swipe away stray tears that have fallen down your face.

music is an outlet for you, an escape, and right now that’s all you wanted to do.

earbuds remain in your ears as you step into the bau building. anderson leads you through security and gets you a visitors badge. you very faintly hear any of his verbal instructions.

he leaves you once you reach the right floor, pointing through the glass doors to show you where to go. with a smile, he’s gone.

you weigh your options for a moment before walking in. you told your dad you're here but you don’t know where his office is. and right now, you really do not want to deal with anyone else. but with a deep breath, you decide to take your chances and head in.

a child walking into the bau is an automatic red flag, let alone one with puffy eyes and red cheeks, a clear sign of crying.

morgan and j.j. are the first two to stand up, wasting no time in circling their desks to walk to where you stand at the bullpen entrance; j.j.’s mouth already open with an “are you alright?” on the tip of her tongue.

but before they reach you, and before j.j. can speak, hotch is out of his office and moving down the stairs.

he steps in front of them when he faces you, thus shielding you from the prying eyes of the team. you look up at your dad, eyes full of a new wave of tears.

hotch doesn’t hug you then, though he desperately wants to, nor does he explain who you are to the team. instead, he places a strong hand on your shoulder, turning you slightly before guiding you up to his office. the door is shut and the blinds are closed. the two of you are cut off from the others and all of them know not to intrude.

“who was that?” rossi questioned after stepping onto the catwalk. the commotion was noticeable.

“i think we just met y/n.”

3. phone call

on flights home from cases, what the team does onboard genuinely varies with what time of day it is.

during early morning and late night flights, you can find most of the team asleep, trying to make up for the rest lost in the past few days. anything between that is typically a more active time.

hotch is dealt into a game of poker with the entire team. rossi acts as the dealer claiming he’s “not in the mood to get outsmarted at his favorite game.”

the entire group is laughing and chatting among themselves as they play. there’s no reason not to, it was a successful case - worth the positive mood on the jet.

hotch’s phone ringing cuts through emily’s turn.

he holds his hands up in defense and mumbles a quiet apology.

“hi sweet pea,” hotch barely has time to greet you before he gets cut off with your frantic “did you listen?”

his laugh causes the others to bring their heads up from their cards. a hotch laugh is uncommon, rare.

“i did. we finished up here last night so i listened before i went to bed and finished when i woke up,” he answers your question.

he waits for your response, already knowing that you want to know his thoughts on the album.

“well,” hotch pauses. “if i’m being honest, i liked it more than fearless.”

j.j. and emily are the only two who have any idea what he’s talking about. a record could be set for how fast their eyes snap to each other once it clicks.

hotch is quiet for a few moments. though no one can make out exactly what you’re saying on the other end, they can hear your muffled rambling.

“yeah yeah, i liked that one too,” hotch agrees. “i think my top two are dear john and haunted, though. her songwriting is incredible in those.”

whatever he means clearly pleases you judging by the content look on his face.

“alright i have to get going,” he starts. “but i have the vinyl reserved at the record store. we can go when i get back? should be home by two.”

you agree without hesitation, several “thank you’s” being repeated. hotch won’t admit it ever to anyone besides you, but he’s excited to hear it on vinyl too. it’s kinda your shared thing.

“i’ll see you when i get home, okay? i love you.”

he hangs up after goodbyes, placing his phone back onto the table before picking up his cards. the silence lingers in the air even after he makes the motion that he’s ready to continue. “what?”

“you listen to taylor swift?”

hotch smiles, a genuine one. “my daughter loves her. have to keep up somehow.”

4. vacation

when hotch doesn’t show up to work for a week, it takes only the first day for the team to panic. it had been a little over a year and a half since foyet had stabbed hotch and hotch had gone missing. no one was going to take chances when their boss, who typically had perfect attendance, showed up without notice.

rossi and morgan went to strauss at the end of the day.

their interrogation on hotch’s whereabouts is in good faith, but it doesn’t take a profiler to notice strauss’ sigh at their concerns.

“agent hotchner is on vacation,” she starts. “he should be back next week. until then, i am under orders to not assign a new case unless necessary.”

the agents turn to each other in confusion as they leave. “a vacation? come on rossi, when in all the years of knowing him has hotch ever willingly gone on vacation.”

the older man shrugs. “i don’t know. maybe this’ll be good for him.”

there’s no arguing with that.

when hotch returns the following monday, no one hesitates to notice the change in his physical appearance.

his skin is tanned and he has a slight tinge of sunburn on his nose and cheekbones; a clear sign he went somewhere warm.

“hotch!” emily catches him before he can retreat to his office.

all eyes are on him and he knows it.

“where were you?” she inquired.

hotch sighs. “greece.”

this catches the attention of the other team members in the bullpen. rossi seems to have found an empty chair at j.j.’s desk. even garcia had chosen this exact moment to get a new cup of coffee.

“greece?” emily stutters. “like the european country?”

hotch nods. “that’s the one.”

morgan whistles. vacations in the bau are fairly uncommon. the looming threat of being called back for a case stops most from planning. even if the timing does work out, no one goes far; let alone out of the country.

“and you just decided to go there for a casual vacation,” j.j.’s tone isn’t condescending, but rather showing genuine curiosity.

“it’s y/n’s birthday in a few months and she’s always wanted to go,” hotch explains like it’s the most casual thing in the world. “jack’s still a little too young so he stayed with jessica.”

he doesn’t mingle around after that, choosing to head up to his office to get set up after his week away.

“huh,” garcia murmurs. “didn’t take him for a greek island guy.”

“guess that shows just how much he’s wrapped around y/n’s finger.”

5. baked goods

you don’t have school today.

despite that, you still get up early to have breakfast with your brother and dad. once jack is picked up by the bus for school, your dad gets ready for work.

you stay in the kitchen, however, moving the cookies you made last night from one container to the other.

when your dad reappears, you wait for his hands to be empty before posing your question.

“is there any way you can give these to agent rossi?” you practically shove the container into your dad’s hand.

aaron raises an eyebrow. “rossi?”

“you mentioned he was italian,” you wait for a nod of confirmation. “these are canestrelli, they’re an italian cookie. i wanted to know if you could give these to him for a taste test.”

he smiles. “trying to expand your baking horizons?”

you match his expression. “exactly.”

with a kiss to your forehead, your dad is out the door and off to work.

“delivery,” hotch’s tone is steady as he knocks on rossi’s office door.

“from who?”

“y/n,” hotch answers as he sets the container down. “she tried to make canestrelli and wanted your opinion. i’m just the messenger.”

rossi takes the container from hotch. he opens it up before plucking a cookie out and examining it. “looks authentic.”

if he’s being honest, even if the cookie isn’t good, he’ll still love it.

but it isn’t.

of course it isn’t.

rossi takes one bite and his eyes widen.

“i haven’t had canestrelli this good since the last time i went to italy. tell her she should be very proud and i will be happy to pay for more.”

hotch can’t hide his proud expression. “i will.”

+1 first meeting

you always wait for your dad to get home from work. it’s routine.

plus, you made a promise to jack when you put him to bed that you would send your dad upstairs when he got home.

you bake in the meantime. it’s something to pass the time and you figure having something fresh to eat would be a nice surprise for your dad.

music plays from the record you have spinning. you keep it quiet as to not wake jack up upstairs. he’s not a light sleeper, but you don’t want to disturb his rest.

the side door opens as you're mixing the flour to the batter. tonight’s bake is gingerbread. easy enough to make.

it surprises you when your dad doesn’t call out a hello. he’s come home this late before when you’re still up and he always makes it a point to greet you. plus, you have music playing. there’s no doubt he can’t hear that.

“dad?” your voice is quiet.

you peer around the corner, stepping out a bit further when you see him, though you freeze when you notice the other people following him.

“hi sweet pea,” his voice is tired, you can tell. you close your eyes when he hugs you and kisses your forehead. if his team is here you know it’s not good.

“what’s going on?”

he turns to you. “i can explain in a few minutes. are you okay for introductions?” his voice lowers for the last part, not wanting the team to hear if you say no.

you nod, though anxiety bubbles at the pit of your stomach at the deflection of the question.

“everyone, this is y/n, my daughter,” your dad starts. unsure what to do, you wave slightly. “y/n, this is my team, that’s dave, derek, emily, spencer, j.j., and penelope.” he points to each of the people as he rattles his name off.

while your dad kept you out of his work, you did faintly know each member of the team. he talked about them in passing and jack rambled often about something “uncle dave” or “uncle derek” did.

“why are they here?” you hope your question doesn’t come off as rude.

your dad squeezes your arm. “can you go back in the kitchen for a few? i’m going to get these guys set up and then i can explain. is jack asleep?”

you nod. “i put him to bed a few hours ago. he was asking for you.”

“thank you,” he starts. “i’ll go see him in a bit.”

the conversation is over. you feel awkward standing in the foyer where you’re clearly the center of attention. you turn and walk into the kitchen. finishing your baking seems like a good idea.

aaron enters the kitchen as you’re pouring the batter into the pans. the music is off by now, though the record stays on the turntable. he waits for you to put the pan in the oven and face him before explaining.

“there’s a mole in the bau. we’re trying to figure it out but we obviously can’t work there. i volunteered our house. we would’ve gone to dave’s but he’s having work done.” you know he’s giving you the most minimal answer possible.

“oh,” you’re honestly not quite sure what else to say.

he continues. “we’re hoping to have it cleared up soon but we don’t have a lot of our normal equipment. i wasn’t expecting you to be up for all this. couldn’t sleep?”

“was waiting for you to get home,” you shrugged. “you know i always do.”

“yeah i know. i should’ve called.”

you turn to him. “It’s alright. i’m just going to clean up while i wait for the gingerbread to be done and then i’ll go to bed.”

your dad nods. “let me know when you do.” he disappears out of the kitchen after that.

cleaning up doesn’t take long and you’re still elbows deep in soapy water when the oven beeps. you take it out of the pan and set it on a cooling rack before gathering your stuff. you’re honestly exhausted.

going into the living room takes a moment of mental courage. you know everyone is in there and you don’t want to interrupt them. but, you’ve missed your dad and you want him to say goodnight.

“um, i’m going to head up to bed,” your voice echoes through the room. it was fairly quiet before and you feel embarrassed for interrupting that. the first part is directed at your dad. you turn to the rest of the team. “i made fresh gingerbread if anyone wants any. it’s on the counter, help yourself. i also put on a fresh pot of coffee and that should be ready soon.”

aaron’s heart is so full that he almost forgets the case at hand.

“i’ll be up in a minute,” aaron voices.

you hum, nodding to the team as a non-verbal goodnight.

he dishes out individual assignments within the team. they’ll work as a group to start before taking shifts so others can rest.

jack’s room is his first stop. he doesn’t wake the boy, choosing to instead kiss his forehead before picking up his stuffed dinosaur, a gift, and placing it back on the bed.

you’re just getting under the covers when your dad knocks.

“come in!”

your dad steps inside, shutting the door slightly.

“hi,” you smile.

“hi,” he echoes. “good day?”

you shrug. “yeah, i guess so. i got jack from school and we spent the afternoon together. missed you though.”

aaron frowns. “i’m sorry sweet pea. didn’t think this was going to happen. none of us did.”

“i know you didn’t. i’m not mad.”

you want to continue your statement and wash away any guilt you know he’s feeling. but, your body betrays you and a yawn cuts you off.

“alright, time for bed,” his words make you feel like a child but you know he’s right.

he tucks you in and like with jack, he kisses your forehead.

“goodnight dad, i love you.”

“i love you too.”

his demeanor changes when he goes downstairs and sits with the team. he’s serious, ready to work. right now this case is his priority. he, like others, wants to wrap it up quickly and efficiently.

emily nudges him when he sits down beside her. spencer and derek’s banter about the case is long drowned out.

“she’s a good kid.”

hotch beams.

“i know.”

#criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner #Aaron Hotchner x teen!reader #bau x teen reader #spencer reid #emily prentiss #jennifer jereau #derek morgan #david rossi #penelope garcia #Aaron hotchner x teen reader

3K notes · View notes

ruershrimo · 3 months

Text

take me back (take me with you) | f. megumi x fem! reader | chapter 1: nostalgia

ao3 link for additional author's notes | playlist | next

chapter synopsis:

'“You’re my best friends forever,” you whisper to them. It’s the truth and it’s a promise. The train halts with that chuffing sound all trains produce, and your mother holds the luggage as well as your other hand as you wave to them goodbye.' --- ' It’s very late and I still have so much I want to talk about with you, but I’m really sleepy now. My eyes are barely open and my face is about to fall on the paper, I think. Just know that I'm thinking of the two of you all the time. XX

Love, [Name]

(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)'

word count: ~5k; tws: none for now

2-4-2015

Dear Fushiguro Tsumiki,

How are you today? I’m so sorry that we haven’t talked in so long.

Forgive me for asking so many questions in this letter— I know too little about writing them; my mother is the one who asked me to write this saying that it would help me keep in touch with my friends or write better (either of the two, I can’t quite remember).

Between an urban area or a rural area, which would you prefer? I’ve had to go all around the place because of my mother and I’m still all the way in Tanegashima now. If you were to go from Tokyo to where I am, you’d have to either go for a drive lasting more than 20 hours or book a three hour flight.

I’ve only stayed in the city once— that was when we were still in the same school, and we could all fit in my aunt’s apartment since my father was outstationed for the whole year. But I digress. Personally I prefer the city. It all feels so modern, and so much less empty than how it’s like here on this little island. I mean, we have the space centre, so I can always visit that, but after the third or fourth time you’d probably get a little bored of it too.

I wish I could go to Tokyo again one day, though. I’d definitely take the time to visit you, too. I read on a pamphlet once of how pretty everything gets in Tokyo during winter time, especially during Christmas. We don’t really celebrate Christmas here but the pamphlet reminded me of that one December when we spent it at my aunt’s, we ate lots of KFC and had a little party while my aunt sang songs and drank enough alcohol to prove she had a liver of steel a million times over.

It’s nice to reminisce on these things, and it’s nice to reminisce on when we were still there too. I know I never told you this enough, but I was so happy when you walked up to me on the playground that day and asked if you wanted to be friends. I really, really liked your hair and wanted to ask you the same. I was just too shy to do it, and thought that if I would I’d end up messing things up and mortifying myself. I miss that and you and I miss 2010 and I miss Tokyo, and walking back from school with you and Megumi (you were like my cool older sister), and I really, really miss doing each other’s hair. It was the most joyful I’d ever been in my then 8 years of life and every day was a new fragment of happiness to keep in my heart like a picture in a locket.

Now I really want to go there again, and maybe go to the Shinjuku-Gyoen, or see the lights at night. I wish I could stay for a whole year and see how the trees can change from being highlighted cherry blossom pinks, to lush greens with summer dew on them, to golden ginkgo leaves. I’d keep them with me, too. I hope you can take me there one day and we can see everything together again. My apologies if I’m asking too much of you.

Also, how is Megumi? I miss him too. Is he the way he was, still? Is everything okay between you and him, still? Unlike elementary school, the boys in junior high are all taller than the girls, so since we’re the same age do you think he’d be taller than me too? Is he taller than you, or are you still one of the tallest girls in junior high like how you were in elementary school?

It’s very late and I still have so much I want to talk about with you, but I’m really sleepy now. My eyes are barely open and my face is about to fall on the paper, I think. Just know that I’m thinking of the two of you all the time. XX

Love, [Name]

(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)

28-2-2011

The train to the airport is arriving in a minute, and you’re sure your mother won’t let you just wait for the next one, so you’re stuck clutching your little luggage bag as you look at Tsumiki and Megumi, that inseparable pair, and their snowy-haired “benefactor” (whatever that means. You think he’s more like their father sometimes, though).

Even if you knew it was inevitable and that this day would eventually come, especially with your leaving Tokyo being pulled even earlier than you thought it would, a part of you pretended that you’d still get to stay with them for a little while longer. In Tokyo you’d solidified your place and built your roots— you had friends, were doing alright in school and had even begun to be less anxious about everything. Now you’d be uprooted again, you thought as your fists trembled, Now you’d be back to square one.

2011 had started as a busy year— your father had begun preparations to move somewhere else where you and your mother could follow him and the three of you would be together again. It was busy for Tsumiki, too, who had more school matters to tend to due to her being one of the best, most well-rounded students in her year (you didn’t know much of the details).

…it had also begun with you seeing a dog when you were alone with Megumi once. It had these unique markings on its head, with alabaster fur and jaundice-hued eyes. And Megumi then had a panicked look in his eye, asked how and why you could see them as well as whether you’d seen them before, which you suppose caused him to be busier after that, too. Tsumiki and Megumi’s benefactor visited you and your mother the night after, asking to speak with your mother and your mother alone. He paused before you, almost shocked, you supposed, but you couldn’t see through his pitch black sunglasses (he was one weird guy, seriously— pitch black sunglasses? Really?). To which she frowned, as the man uttered that you could be a “window”, but that you could still be able to use “cursed energy”, or something. You’d heard of neither of those, and weren’t able to eavesdrop or discern anything else they’d said.

Then nobody else mentioned the dog anymore.

If you questioned any of them, you’d only be told that the dog was a stray, and that those markings must have been a particularly special birthmark. Yet you knew it was all a lie, but after multiple tries you gave up on wondering.

When you’d first learned you’d be moving yet again, you cried and screamed for your mother to let you stay, and for what felt like hours. After relaying this to Tsumiki, she just put her hand on yours before hugging you— always wise, always kind, always smiling, you can’t say this enough about her. Megumi patted your back before she pulled him in as well, and for once he didn’t shove her hand away. You couldn’t even bother to be confused at that— you just continued to weep as Tsumiki comforted you, whispering, “I can’t promise I’ll always be able to talk to you, but I’ll try my best to keep in touch when I can. And even if we don’t, we’ll always be friends, okay? So we’ll meet again someday, don’t forget that, okay, [Name]?”

A day after that Megumi told you to stay safe. Nearly ordered you to swear you’d stay safe and protected, always. He said that the world was dangerous since it was full of dangerous creatures and people who could kill you at any moment, but as long as you were on an island like the one you were moving to, you’d be fine. You furrowed your brow at that as he held your hand and felt him squeeze it— subconsciously, most likely.

“Well,” Tsumiki starts, a tinge of sadness in her tone, her eyes slightly swollen. Megumi’s expression is unreadable but his fists are balling the fabric of his shirt and his leg is shaking. It makes you want to sob and cling to both of them and you know if you did they wouldn’t ever let go, “I guess this is goodbye, [Name]…”

Before you realise it, tears start pooling in your eyes and soon they’re trickling down your face uncontrollably, just like the day when you’d first met her. “We’ll still be friends, right?” You won’t leave me, right?

“Mhm!” Tsumiki smiles— she was always smiling, always, even when she was about to cry along with you. Her lip was trembling and for a second you swore you could detect that in the ever-stoic Megumi, too. “It’s okay, you don’t have to worry. We’ll be friends forever, so we’ll surely see each other soon enough,” Tsumiki assures you, close to sniffling, “We made a promise to always be friends, right? So you’ll see the two of us again in just a few years’ time no matter what.”

“Okay,” you sniff, “I’ll see the two of you when we’re all grown up, and… and I’ll be taller, too! I promise I’ll visit Tokyo next time!”

“...that’s good,” Megumi says, his leg still shaking discreetly, joining you and Tsumiki’s conversations in a way he’d rarely done.

Tsumiki nods, “Yeah. That sounds really, really good, [Name]. Wait—! Let me give you something. You can call it a gift!”

She takes it off, and her hair unfurls like flowers from bouquets after they’re untied, placing the red-ribbon hair tie securely in your palm.

“Your hair tie?” you ask, “No, it’s okay—!”

“Please, just… just keep it, okay? It’s a gift from Megumi and I to you, [Name]!”

Then you’re in her embrace again as you clutch the hair tie, while after a little hesitation Megumi joins in and you swear you can see their benefactor smiling— not just the smile he had when you first saw him, this one in particular seemed proud, fatherly, the same way your father did when you told him about how you were able to read through a whole book with beginners’ kanji in it.

“You’re my best friends forever,” you whisper to them. It’s the truth and it’s a promise.

The train halts with that chuffing sound all trains produce, and your mother holds the luggage as well as your other hand as you wave to them goodbye.

15-3-2011

The phone continues to vibrate in your hands as you anxiously tap your foot on the ground. You’re sure it’s going to end up sore. Frantically, you press it almost forcefully to your ear when it stops ringing. “Tsumiki, Megumi!”

“[Name]!”

“Are you alright? I saw the footage of the earthquake on the news, are you safe? Were you and Megumi evacuated, are you all safe? Please tell me whether you’re safe—!”

“Megumi, it’s [Name]!— Don’t worry, we’re safe now.”

Relieved, you sigh, “That’s good, that’s good,” you say, “It must’ve been really scary…”

“Mhm— everything started shaking as if we were on some boat in the middle of the sea and the waves started getting wilder, and it was like the ground was rumbling.”

You shiver. “That sounds so scary…— I’m glad you’re safe, though. I don’t know why stuff like that has to happen so quickly sometimes, and so suddenly, too. And it takes so many people along with it. I thought I could’ve lost the two of you.”

“Well, we made a promise,” she tells you, “So don’t worry. —Oh! Megumi wants to talk to you. Here, Megumi.”

“Are you alright?” he inquires, “Have you seen anything scary in the countryside?”

“Huh? Oh, no, I haven’t seen anything. Why?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to know.” Now that sounds like a bold-faced lie.

“Uh-huh, okay.”

-20-5-2011-

“Hello? Is this Tsumiki? I need to ask if she’s alright—”

“Oh, little [Name]?” a man says over the phone— the benefactor, you remember, “So sorry, she’s pretty busy right now… call next time, okay?”

-21-5-2011-

“Hello? This is the Fushiguro house contact, right?”

“Sorry, Tsumiki’s busy at the moment. Me too, actually.”

“Megumi!” you smile, bringing the phone closer to your cheek in excitement, “How is everything?”

“Good, to say the least,” he replies, “We’re just a bit busy. Sorry, but I’ve to hang up soon.”

“Oh, oh-okay! Bye bye, Megumi!”

“Bye.”

-13-7-2011-

“Hi, [Name] speaking. I called twice last month and a few days ago. Are you still busy?”

“A little— well, Tsumiki is,” the voice on the other side says. You know it’s not Tsumiki, not yet at least. “She’s really sorry, [Name].”

“No, no, it’s okay! I don’t want to bother any of you either, so thank you for telling me!”

“Well, if you want I can try to get Tsumiki right now,” the voice offers.

“Really? Thank you so much!”

The pause that ensues after is followed by the fifteen happiest minutes of your life since February this year.

“[Name]? Is that you?”

“Yeah! Hi, Tsumiki!”

She gasps slightly in the way that children do when in awe or when someone finds out they’ll be eating their favourites for lunch. “Hello!”

“How are you?” you ask.

“I’m good! Really busy, though, so I’m really sorry if I can’t call you as often… but everything’s been alright. You?”

“Mm,” you hum, nodding your head even if she can’t see it, “I’m good, too!”

-18-8-2011-

You don’t know when you started heading to the phone and keying in the number, doing everything but ringing it. You’re busy, too— you’ve less time now to ring them up, and the last time you did, Tsumiki still apologised but sounded a little distant, just that one bit too busy to be able to tend to you. One step farther away from you. And Megumi was seldom ever the one by the phone. Still, you could understand why. You supposed they always had something going on that you never understood or never asked about. That would explain the incident with the unusually marked dog. No, they weren’t sketchy, but there was definitely something they must have known about the world that you didn’t.

Now you don’t know if you can even muster the courage to talk to you or write to you. The distance between you has widened exponentially and you hesitate just a bit more every time you hold the phone and press its buttons.

Then the phone rings, and after you hesitate once more, you put it down.

9-2-2016

If there’s one thing you remember from about half of your life ago, it’s that your first crush was probably Fushiguro Megumi.

You’re honestly surprised it wasn’t actually his sister. That over Tsumiki and her abundant compassion and beautiful soul, you’d feel your heart leaping and overflowing with warmth because of him instead. Constantly angry, never for once not irascible, always serious and aloof. You’re sure that if you’d met him now instead of back then you’d find him some asshole who you just wouldn’t be able to understand— why’d he always have to seem so angry?

Yet it was a struggle, trying to understand him. It really was. Maybe you didn’t really have to understand anyone, much less Megumi. He never ceased being so serious and easily angered but you could tell from his eyes that he must have not intended to hurt anyone; half of the time you understood him: like when you could see that glint in your eyes that replaced what would have been a ghost of a smile on his lips, the other half of the time you didn’t: like whenever he shoved Tsumiki’s hand off his shoulder, and Tsumiki just continued to smile. Now, that really confused you. You’d thought about that for days before coming to the conclusion that you’d probably never find an answer.

Conversely, Tsumiki was kind and patient. If you’d met her now you’d have fallen in love with her immediately and she probably wouldn’t even notice in that terribly goodhearted, unknowingly innocent way of hers.

In retrospect it should have been more obvious: he scowled at you and if it were anyone else who did so to you back then you would have merely cried and closed in on yourself, yet you never did when it came to him. You just continued to stick to him like those kind of glue residuals left behind after you take a sticker off a table or a price tag from the back cover of a book. You were probably annoying like that. And to some degree you suppose he’d given you his own form of special treatment by letting you do so anyway.

If you’d known what you were feeling back then you probably wouldn’t have admitted anything, anyway. Probably you would’ve kept it all within you, quiet and unnoticed, trying to drown yourself into life’s backdrop like an insect engulfed in resin.

But you’re older now, more mature and slightly more outspoken; you’re going to try to be confident and meet someone, this one person alone who you can only meet now without his sister there just because you used to have a crush on him and—

You don’t think you’d be able to admit anything either. Yet to yourself he’s the first. He always will be, and you’re not sure whether that sounds pathetic, miserable or disgustingly, hopelessly delusional, considering you don’t even want to pursue anything yourself.

It’s going to be Valentine's Day soon and you’re quite sure that most of your school friends are making Valentine’s chocolates for their boyfriends or their crushes. In all truthfulness, you might as well not feel blue about it— you’re 14, that’s still pretty young, you don’t have to rush things like relationships or confessions through and you’ve been told to focus on your studies instead— but the thought that you’re going to be alone is still kind of depressing.

10-4-2015

Dear [Name],

Don’t apologise— it’s partially my fault. I ended up being really busy that year due to something we had to deal with.

But anyway, it’s been so long! I miss you every day as well!

Megumi and I’ve been great, and I hope you’ve been too. It’s been a long four years since we last talked (it’s already 2015, how time flies!), but you still sound the same. It’s like you’ve got better handwriting now, though!

Aside from the fact that I’ve been swarmed with stuff to do (I joined the student council, yay!), junior high has been okay, to say the least— and hey, I’m still pretty tall, you know? Plus, a lot of the teachers say I’m surprisingly tall for my age, heheh. Things are going the same as always. I’ve got accustomed to the loads of homework we have now too. But it’s like Megumi’s been having a problem lately— he’s getting into fights, beating people up, things like that. I wouldn’t call him a delinquent, though: moreso someone who beats the delinquents up instead. I know what he wants to do and why he does it, but I don’t want him to fight other people and get himself or others hurt.

I’ve tried to tell him this before, to be honest. I’ve tried it many times but each time I must sound more annoying to him than the last— I don’t want to force him to do anything, though, and I understand that part of why he does this is because of his own ideals. I just want him to not raise his hand against others. So I have to resort to this.

Sorry for spilling it all on paper like this… I just wanted someone to talk about this to, and I thought you would listen to me, I suppose. Sometimes it’s hard— sometimes I really do feel like his parent instead of his sister and it makes me feel so lonely, really.

Oh dear, what do I do to make him hear me, seriously…

Anyway, I totally get what you mean— I’ve stayed in Tokyo all my life, but I’m sure that if I was uprooted and had to live somewhere else I’d have lots of trouble. Tokyo to me is my home, and my whole life is here. Moving somewhere else would probably shatter it completely, I think.

And please visit when you can! Maybe if your mother allows it, we can come to us instead, one day! And it’s not like we can’t visit you either. Our door’s always open. Once this school year ends, perhaps we could stay with you for a night or two! (If you would have us, of course).

Besides that, I don’t really have much to say. I did have a good day today, though. I went out with some of my friends from school after our classes ended and we ate some donuts. They were so tasty!!! Honestly, whenever you have the time, I really recommend going there with some of your friends after school!!

Regardless, I think this is all I have to say in this letter. I promise I’ll try my utmost best to always set aside time to write to you!!! Get some good rest whenever you can, okay? Miss you always!

Sincerely,

Tsumiki

(P.S.: Do you have an email or a phone number of your own yet? If so, please shoot me an email or give me a call! I can reply more there since I have those now and can use those instead of always relying on our house contact. You can keep the hair tie, too, by the way! It can be like a memoir (*^▽^*). And it’s for you, after all!)

13-3-2015

You remember seeing a little dog one time back in your hometown when you were around six or seven years old.

It was a tiny little thing, with the fluffiest black fur you’d ever stroked, and though every second it was barking louder than your mother could ever handle, it was adorable and seldom threatened to bite anyone. And it liked you— it never barked at you and let you shower it with pets despite how much it had frightened you initially.

He was irritable but calm, someone who frowned and scolded but never raised his hand against anyone— not even that “benefactor” of his who you’d never heard him talk about without mentioning how much he’d like to punch him someday. You genuinely don’t think he’s ever done so, either. He doesn’t seem like the type: from what you remember, if he were to think he’d hurt someone he knew or evidently cared about— as much as he’d like to deny this, however— he would blame everything on himself, you think. He’d feel the guilt rake through his body and lacerate his skin, piercing through his ribs. Yet he’d keep living, and he wouldn’t tell anyone about it; he’d be so quietly miserable.

That’s what he was like: quietly miserable. There’s a certain sorrow in the way he does things; you could tell this from the start despite how young and inept at articulating yourself you were at that age. But you’d always known and sensed that there was a sadness running through him, coursing through his veins, one that you could feel like heat from the warm blood beneath one’s skin.

Today you wonder if he’s the same, if he still seems like the saddest person you’ve ever met, if he still seems like he would have been the saddest and most doleful had he not always tried to act as if otherwise, living defiantly against it. If he hadn’t always been able to keep living while suffering quietly like a child with nothing but muffled sobs in the desolate corner of an empty classroom.

But at eight you thought maybe you could liken Megumi to a puppy. Or something like that. He certainly reminded you of that all-bark-no-bite puppy from the past. You wondered how it was now, whether it was still being fed and taken care of.

Tsumiki was vastly different, though— the kindest girl you ever knew, with neat, soft hair and the type of handwriting all the girls in her class wanted to have. She was always smiling, always kind— you thought she was immensely wise for a girl around your age; you always wanted to be as amazing of a person as she was: always hardworking, always clever, always kind and forgiving, no matter what.

…you don’t even know why you’re thinking about some kids you met once who you’ll probably never see again. Just two kids who you never kept in touch with. Or at least never tried to. You had their contact— you tried talking to Tsumiki a few times, but for some reason she could only ever reply once or twice (she apologised profusely for not being available any time she picked up as well), and as time passed the way the distance between the two of you grew, by the summer of 2011 you’d begun holding a telephone close to your ear without keying any number in it, as if clinging onto it would provide you with any sort of closure.

You miss them, though: smiley Tsumiki and frowny Megumi.

Leaning back into the mattress, you trace your fingers over the hair tie on your wrist, fingers rubbing against each thread of fabric in its red ribbon.

Could you even talk to them or face them anymore after ceasing contact with them for years, though? Heck, you don’t even know whether they’re alive or not. Would they be angry at you? Disappointed? Feeling as if they’d been wronged or left behind?

Still, you miss them. You really do.

Your mother’s calls bring you downstairs, and you eat until your stomach is full before washing your plate. The only other step in your routine now is to head up and retreat to your room again.

“Come down, [Name], could you?” your mother says, interrupting your trip back up, “I just want to talk to you for a second.”

Now, that… that was a bit strange. Your mother rarely ever asked you to talk to her. You spent enough time with each other as is, doing almost everything else besides being in school or at work in the same house, even if it never meant asking about each others’ day. It just was never part of the conversations you had with each other. You’d ask where she wanted you to throw things or how you could cook something, but she’d never go out of her own way to learn about your own day since you were about nine or ten, and it wasn’t like you ever did either. Perhaps she was trying to make the effort to?

“What is it?”

“You like writing, honey?”

“I mean, I guess so?” you reply hesitantly, “As long as it’s not for school or my grades don’t rely that heavily on a task, writing can be pretty fun.”

“Good, good,” she remarks, nodding her head, “Actually, I recently found something you may be interested in online. You still have your friend and her brother’s house contact, right?” she questioned. Instantly you know which friend she’s referring to and say yes— how could you not, after all? “Ever heard of pen pals, darling?”

Which brings you to where you are now: your mother leaning by the door frame of your room as you’re hunched over the table writing the letter. Surprisingly, she really seemed to care about this, even preparing the prettiest paper you’d ever seen, with pastel pink patterns printed on the paper’s edges, and though you struggled with what to say it first the words have begun spilling out of you despite how late it’s started to get.

You wonder whether she’ll reply. She probably will, though, but a fragile part of yourself surmises that she may not, and although you’d like to talk to her again you fear that because of the time that’s passed things may just not be the same anymore. You wonder if the years have made the three of you infinitely different than your eight and nine year old selves.

But that was growth, right? So you had to grow and learn how to talk to her, learn how to face her without thinking that she’d be angered or frustrated, or anything like that. And even if she did, even if it would hurt you, you’d be able to live. The world would keep spinning and all that would be lost were two friends who you lived without for about four years, ceteris paribus. Who could claim that the seventy or so years after those four would be any different?

That’s why you took the pen and paper and started to write, telling yourself you’d face it and finish the letter no matter what. Even if it was short. Even if it wouldn’t be enough to express four years’ worth of unspoken words, from funny things that had happened in school, or what you thought of whatever was on the news, or how your parents had gotten you a new phone.

As your eyelids gradually grow heavier, you watch how you fill two whole pages in the handwriting you have— you wish it could have been at least a tad bit more similar to Tsumiki’s, who never needed any boxes or lines to write completely straight and uniform for each character as if copying excerpts from finely printed books to the letter.

Soon, you’re reaching the end of the letter, determined to keep the handwriting legible even if you feel like plopping your head on the table and falling asleep— to some degree you still need it to look presentable, after all.

“(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)”

taglist:

@bakananya, @sindulgent666, @shartnart1, @lolmais, @mechalily, @pweewee, @notsaelty, @nattisbored

(please send an ask/state in the notes if you’d like to join! if I can't tag your username properly, I've written it in italics. so sorry for any trouble!)

#it's finally up :)#yayy #take me back (take me with you)#jjk megumi #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi fluff #megumi angst #jjk x fem!reader #fem!reader #fushiguro tsumiki #fushiguro megumi #megumi #ruer writes

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qkopi · 10 months

Note

I hope this doesn't sound weird but can you do hcs about twin!miles both liking the same girl then they find out she has a twin sister 😭

omg anon… u literally had me gagged w this idea like..😧😨😏🤭😜SHOW UR SELF‼️😭

and honestly i didn’t know whether you wanted to be with miles or milo, so i js took it in my hands and decided milo would be my man🥰 but it can go both ways so🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

════════════════════════

pairings: milo x reader, twin! sister x miles / miles x reader, twin! sister x milo

cw: none

a/n: this can honestly go both ways, either you date miles or milo idc🤷🏻‍♀️

════════════════════════

by the way t/n means twin’s name

milo wouldnt take an interest in you at first since he didn’t really like socializing in class

he would just do his assignments and listen to his music

but as the weeks went by,

he would catch himself staring at you

taking a glance at your beauty marks (basically a mole on your nose, on your cheek, or above your lip)

or looking at the bracelet you wore everyday

mans would be sketching your side profile, not even noticing it until the end of class

at home, him and miles would be talking about their day at school and suddenly they got into the topic of girls

“dude there’s girl in my class and she’s new to visions, she’s amazing, she’s funny and really pretty and-”

miles kept on rambling and rambling about the girl as milo kept scrolling on his phone but still listening to his brother

“look, here’s a pic”

miles took out his phone and went on instagram to show milo who he was talking about

it was you.

milo quickly took miles’ phone and started scrolling through

you only had 1 post and a highlight of yourself

“woah, watch it, ‘Lo!”

miles took back his phone, getting worried that milo may accidentally like something from a long time ago

“my fault..” milo seemed embarrassed by what he just did.

“what you think she’s pretty too?” miles grinned, but inside he was worried, he didn’t want to like the same girl as his twin.

“no, she just.. has unique features, that’s all.” milo muttered, feeling a pit of jealousy in his stomach.

miles clearly knew he was lying but he just shrugged it off so there wouldn’t be an argument between the two of them

the past few days, milo had been trying talking to you in class but fails miserably since he didn’t know how to approach you

this was also part of the reason why milo got jealous, miles was always so nice and outgoing with everybody that he had no problem to have a simple convo with anyone

today again, milo tried talking to you but you rushed off to your class, not giving him enough time to say anything

“tomorrow, i’ll talk to her.. eventually..” milo mumbled under his breath as he sighed.

as milo was going to his next class, he then saw you, again, walking with a few friends.

“hey, miles. when did you get braids?” you asked, but it wasn’t you, it was your twin sister, t/n, but milo didn’t know that.

“uh, i’m not miles.. i’m his twin, milo.” milo responded, feeling a bit nervous.

“oh, sorry about that.. i’ll make sure to take note of that!” t/n said as she went back to her friends.

meanwhile, milo was screaming of joy internally as he went to his class. he actually got to talk to you without hesitating or stuttering over his words.

though the next day, didn’t go so well..

when milo tried talking to you, you greeted him with an awkward look since this was the first time someone talked to you in the certain class.

“hey..” milo sat next to you, taking you by a surprise.

“uhh… hi?” you said questionably, never interacting with this guy before.

meanwhile this made milo feel weird. did you forget him already? did you think he was miles again? or maybe you had already took an interest miles and thought talking to milo would’ve been weird?

yea this boy was panicking.

there, milo sat through a painfully embarrassing situation as he tried his best not to even spare you a glance anymore.

at the end of class, he saw you packing up and begin to leave until he took your wrist.

“look, t/n, i’m sorry if i weirded you out-”

“t/n? oh, i think you confused me with my twin. did you two talk yesterday?” you asked.

“yeah, actually she thought i was my twin brother, miles, but we have different hair so..” milo trailed off as he realized he was rambling.

“i’m milo.” he finally said with a sigh, wanting to get it out of his system.

“y/n.” you gave him a smile.

as you two were talking in the halls, the two of you also met your siblings.

“y/n!!” your twin ran up to you and gave you a hug.

“miles, this is my twin sister, y/n and yes, i know we look exactly alike but don’t worry, you can tell us apart just by our bracelets!” t/n showed her wrist, she had a gold bracelet meanwhile you had a silver one.

“this is..” miles didn’t have any words to describe it as he and milo looked at the two of you.

you and your sister looked exactly alike, same hair length, same facial features, same height and it didn’t help when you guys had to wear uniforms at visions.

“so this is why you were so shocked when i showed you a picture of t/n..” miles realized, giving milo a knowing smirk.

“what’s he talking about?” you asked, before miles could answer milo had already put his hand around miles’ mouth.

“well, it was cool meeting you two, uh, me and miles are gonna be late for class, uh, bye!” milo grabbed his brother as they rushed off.

“i think he’s into you.” your twin teased once the boys were fully gone.

“shut up..” you chuckled, rolling your eyes playfully as the two of you headed to your next class.

“uh-huh, just know miles is mine.” she put up a proud smile.

“didn’t want him anyways.” you responded.

then, miles and t/n got together first, as you and milo just took your time and let everything go slow

on dates, milo would always take you out shopping and getting some food after

miles and t/n would go out doing fun things together like going to the amusement park or play at the arcade

sometimes, all of you would go on a double date and do the same things together

at the amusement park, miles and milo would pictures of the both of you with the huge stuffed animal they won for you

both miles and milo would look at the picture and suddenly argue

“shes so cute..” “nah, mines way prettier”

“i-“ “well.. he didn’t lie.”

and when you two met their parents, clearly, t/n warmed up to them real quick, being respectful and outgoing at the same time but that didn’t stop them from wanting to get to know you too.

“yes, and what about you, y/n? is my milo giving you a hard time?” “mamá..” “no mrs morales, he’s really a great person to be with.”

oml there was also this one time where miles and milo invited you and t/n over to just chill at their place

but when you got there, milo was shocked.

“mami..” “what? is it bad?”

you had cut your hair, it was short, compared to t/n’s, who still had her long hair

“no.. you look.. so beautiful..”

you were turning hella red, not expecting milo to be that straightforward

meanwhile t/n was gushing to miles and pretending to fake cry.

“they’re so cute..” “mi vida, that’s literally us…” “why can’t i be treated like that?” “WHAT?”

clearly, t/n was just joking as she loved miles with all her heart

miles literally followed her everywhere, drops her off to class not caring if he’s late, sketched her multiple times in his notebook whenever he was bored, and more😻

™︎ qkopi | tumblr

#miles morales x reader #miles morales #miles x reader #earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles x y/n #miles morales x y/n #miles morales x you #atsv miles #atsv x reader #earth 42 miles x reader

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buckybarnesb-tch · 2 months

Text

I Don’t Want a Crown Pt.2

(I was working on this only a few days before you requested it so it’s not exactly the way you requested but when are my requests ever perfect🤣 I hope you love it either way)

Also ‘I Don’t Want a Crown’ was a Human AU so he doesn’t turn her sadly but I think you’re right, if he did break his curse he would be a million times more needy for his wife!

I Don’t Want a Crown Pt. 1

The morning of the wedding I woke myself up nearly an hour before my maid even came to get me, starting on my hair early as I was too excited to sleep.

I had spent the last 2 days with Niklaus, planning the wedding as quickly as possible and he got every little thing that I wanted. He made it very clear that I was his Princess and that I would never live a second without the things I wanted in my life. His dedication to me was sweet and while I loved how much he adored me, my mother, her friends and almost all of the maids had made comments about his behavior being a bit too…obsessed.

I understood why they thought that, most men weren’t so dedicated to their wives but I loved how sweet and attentive he was. He wanted me by his side every second of the day, holding my hand, keeping me against his side every time that he could, always wanting his hands on me.

He was never inappropriate though, not once pushing the limits, always ensuring my comfort when he held me, even at night when he snuck into my room to snuggle me. I adored how needy he was for my presence and my touch, I actually had a husband who wanted to be with me and I couldn’t be happier, never once believing the women around me that told me I was in danger. I am not afraid of my betrothed, and I would not be afraid of my husband.

Everything that morning moved very quickly as things were set up and my mother and sisters all helped me dress in my gown before walking me to the ceremony, taking their seats. My father took my arm and refused to make eye contact with me before walking me down the aisle to the music, my husband dressed in a blue waistcoat that I instantly noticed made his eyes sparkle. His smile was huge as he watched me walk down the aisle and I couldn’t keep the blush from my face as his eyes trailed over every inch of me.

While I was nervous for our wedding night, I was also excited, knowing that my husband was a passionate and kind man (to me at least) and he would never hurt me on purpose. His hands had only ever excited me at the prospect of him touching me intimately and I was more excited than ever as we were so close, wanting to make him as happy as he had made me and determined to bring him more pleasure than anyone ever had, even if I was completely inexperienced.

‘You’re beautiful.’ He whispered as he took my hands and pulled me close, listening to the priest, repeating the vows he had Nik speak before moving onto me.

‘If anyone here has any reason this man and women should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.’ I noticed Niklaus’ gaze flicker to my father with a glare before the moment was passed. ‘I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the-…bride.’ Nik had pressed his lips to mine in a needy, loving kiss before the Priest had even finished his sentence, arms circling my waist and holding me tight, molding our lips together and I knew neither of us wanted to stop.

He pulled away reluctantly a moment later and pressed his forehead to mine. ‘You’re all mine, Princess. Never getting away from me now.’ He teased and I couldn’t stop the giggle as he held my hand and led me back down the aisle, into the dining room where the reception would take place. ‘Thank you to everyone that is here with us to celebrate our special day, please have a drink and enjoy the celebration!’ Nik spoke once everyone had come inside, now mingling around as my sisters approached, coming to help me change out of my wedding dress, into one more comfortable for the evening.

‘I’ll be right back, I’m going to change.’ I told him, kissing his cheek before he caught my hand.

‘I will help you, no need for your sisters to leave the party.’ Nik led me towards the exit only to be stopped by my eldest sister, Sabrina.

‘There’s no need my Lord, you shouldn’t be bothered with something so trivial. We will have her right back to you-‘

‘Thank you Sabrina, however I would much prefer to assist my wife. You can understand, I’m sure. Stay, get yourself a drink, your husband is already several into the evening.’ She straightened up, looking at me concerned as she had been since meeting Niklaus but I ignored her, pulling him along out of the dining hall and down the corridor to my room, a room that wouldn’t be mine anymore. ‘You’re alright with me helping you, aren’t you my love?’

‘Of course I am. You are my husband, I am comfortable with you in any situation.’ I promised as I shut the door before turning around and being pinned against it with his lips on mine, roughly. His hands trailed from my waist for the first time, down my hips and to the backs of my thighs, lifting my legs around him and carrying me to my bed and setting me down, leaning over me.

‘I know we don’t have much time here but I have been dying to touch you since the moment I first laid eyes on you. Would you allow me to bring you pleasure before returning to the guests?’ He asked, kissing his way down my jaw to my neck.

His lips felt wonderful and I doubt I would have said “no” to anything he wanted at that moment. ‘I am yours, my husband can have me in anyway he wishes.’ I cried out as he bit down against the side of my neck before continuing to suck that spot, sending chills down my spine. I was amazed that something so simple as biting at my neck could bring me such astounding pleasure.

‘You are absolute perfection, my love…I promise you will love this. And I will never grow tired of doing it for you.’ His hands lifted the skirts of my dress up above my waist and I kissed him again as his fingers pulled my panties down my legs. He pulled back from the kiss and pulled me to the edge of the bed, kneeling on the floor to see my now completely exposed cunt to his eyes for the first time. ‘You are perfection, my love. Absolute perfection. You tell me if you don’t like it and I will stop, I promise.’ I barely had time to consider his words before his tongue licked straight up my pussy making me gasp.

‘What are you doing?! You don’t have to-Ah!’ I squealed as his lips sucked onto my clit, hands lifting my legs over his shoulders as I flattened the skirts as much as I could to be able to see where his face was now buried in between my thighs. His stubble was scratching against my tender flesh between my legs and while I would have imagined it to be painful, the feeling sent chills up my spine and caused goosebumps to erupt on my flesh.

I had only heard about men doing something like this and my mother made it clear that it was just a myth, men didn’t really do things like this to their wives, or any women, but my husband was quickly proving her wrong.

‘Oh God! Niklaus! Ah! So-So Good!’ My fingers tightened in the comforter below me as my head laid back, unable to hold it up anymore. He pushed his fingers into me and it was a strange feeling, having something inside of me for the first time but as he pumped them in and out my back arched as he pressed against something wonderful. ‘Oh Fuck! Niklaus! Please-Please don’t stop! I can’t-I n-need to-Niklaus!’ As I screamed his name the tension in my belly seemed to snap, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as I cried out. His tongue continued licking over me, and the slurping sounds he was making were downright obscene before he pulled back and stood from the floor, leaning over me to see my face.

‘You taste delicious, my beautiful wife. Did your husband make you feel good?’ He questioned and I could only whine at that moment, opening my eyes and seeing my slick covering his mouth.

‘You didn’t…that was…you are a God.’ I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to press our lips together, not caring about his mouth still slick with me. He kissed me for just a moment before pulling me up into a sitting position, never breaking our kiss as he unlaced the back of my corset and pulled my dress down.

‘Can you stand up?’ He wondered and I considered it.

‘It’s a possibility.’ I teased and he nipped at my bottom lip before pulling me up and yanking my dress down roughly and leaving me completely bare without my dress or corset, my panties long gone.

‘My God, you are so beautiful. These are fucking delicious!’ He moaned, leaning down and wrapping his lips around my left nipple and making me gasp. I pulled against his hair and he groaned, switching breasts when there was suddenly a knock at the door.

‘Y/n! Do you need help?!’ Sabrina called.

‘No! Just a minute! He-He took a minute to figure out the laces!’ I tried so hard not to stutter before he pulled back with a popping sound off of my breast.

‘So fucking sweet.’ He whispered into my ear, kissing my neck and pulling me against him allowing me to feel his erection against my lower stomach.

‘We’ll hurry up, dinner is about to start! Don’t let him get distracted or you’ll never come back out!’ She teased in a voice that I didn’t really care for, hating how much she disliked my husband.

‘Fuck Off Sabrina! We’ll be right out!’ Nik snapped, standing up now and grabbing my gown, laying it over the chair carefully before taking the blue dress I had gotten for the reception so I didn’t risk ruining my white gown.

I heard Sabrina huff angrily, stomping off down the hall before Nik kissed me again and I pulled away kissing his chest and moving to kneel in front of him before he caught me. ‘I want to take care of you…I can’t let you do all of that and then leave you like this.’

‘My sweet wife wants to take care of me, God, I want your wonderful lips on my cock, but not right now. Now, you dress-‘ he told me, pulling the dress on me and lacing it up in record time before turning me back around. ‘-and I fill your sweet little pussy before we go back out there.’ I looked up at him in shock, not having expected that.

‘We don’t have time, I want you to enjoy it, my King. I don’t want you to rush.’ He shook his head, pulling up the skirt of my dress before lifting me to lay on the bed once again.

‘Kissing this sweet little cunt nearly finished me off already. I’m not going to fuck you, not yet, just cum inside of you. I want to know that my cum is already taking hold in your womb…leaking out of you while we eat dinner, and dance together in front of everyone. You are mine, Princess, Fucking Mine!’ He growled, pinning me back and kissing me, before looking at me desperately. ‘Tell me you want me to fill your little pussy?’ He waited a moment before I nodded my head.

‘I want you to cum inside me, want it dripping out of me for the rest of the night. Please, fill me up my King?’ I begged and he was instantly unbuckling his belt, ripping his pants open. He pulled me up by my thighs and angled my hips up, pressing his hard cock against my hole and pushing just slightly as the head of his dick was shoved into me. ‘Fuck, you’re so big! You’re gonna rip me in two!’ I moaned, rubbing my clit roughly, desperate for my husband to just say fuck the party and fuck me however he wanted but he groaned as I spoke to him, his eyes darkening. ‘Breed me, my King! I want to carry your child for everyone to see! Fill me with your babies! Please? Please, I need it?!’

‘Oh Fuck! Yes Princess! Need to see you swell with my baby inside you, Be so fucking gorgeous! Fuck-Oh Fuck!’ He grunted, biting his lip to keep from being any louder as I slapped my hand over my mouth, cumming while feeling his cum rushing into me as he finished, pumping much more than I expected into my cunt. ‘So pretty, Princess. Gods, you’re fucking gorgeous!’ He released my waist and leaned down over me, his body pressing mine into the bed as he nuzzled into my neck.

‘I love you.’ I mumbled into his ear, wrapping my arms around him and wanting to just stay and take a nap with my husband on top of me.

‘I love you too, Y/n. Love you so much.’

‘Promise me next time we won’t have to move again.’ I teased as he sat up, tucking himself away before pulling my skirt down and helping me up making me gasp as I clamped my muscles, trying not to let anything leak out of me.

‘I promise. We will leave after the dance and we will be locked in our chambers until I am sure my seed had taken hold. Now, I must feed my tired wife, need to make sure you’re taken care of before I fuck you for real, don’t I?’ He teased, pulling me out the door and down the hall, back to the reception where we were ushered to our seats so that they could serve dinner. He surprised me as he pulled me onto his lap before I could sit in my seat and my husband spent dinner feeding me bites of my food and whispering dirty things in my ear. I eventually forced him to eat something himself as he was clearly having fun feeding me before having a few drinks and holding me as close as he could as we danced together for the first time. He had decided to forgo the dance with my father, not liking to see him touch me in any way knowing that he has caused me pain as many times as he has. ‘Is my wife ready to go home?’ Niklaus asked as I laid my head on his shoulder, allowing him to move us around the floor.

‘My husband may take me anywhere and anyway he likes.’ I whispered, feeling his hands tighten around me.

‘You are pushing my limits, wife. I may just need to take you right here on this dance floor, especially with all of the men who seem to think they are allowed to look at my wife.’ Y/n looked up a bit shocked.

‘Take me home then husband, and make me yours.’ I had barely gotten the sentence out before he was scooping me into his arms and moving for the door.

The carriage was waiting outside and we slipped away quietly without any problems, not willing to deal with my sister.

We ended up in the carriage much longer than expected before my husband carried me inside wrapped in his jacket and up to our bed where he kept his promise, not leaving that bed again until he was sure that I had been filled with his baby.

I could not have asked for a better husband or father and I thank God every day that my father had ‘allowed’ me to marry Niklaus.

Klaus Mikaelson Masterlist

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xetswan · 9 months

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Youngest Shadow- Meet Again

Six | Seven | Eight |

Meeting the parents… Okay.. Yeah, I can do this. They aren’t really their parents. Also not like I just started talking to them or anything. I take a deep breath just as someone starts knocking on my door. I look to see it’s Bella standing in my doorway, I smile as she enters my room. “What’s up?” I tilt my head. “Woww, you actually dressed up.” She pokes my side, I jerk away from her, rolling my eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you too.” I compliment, going over to my mirror I just had put up with the help of Charlie.

I just bought new jewelry for my piercings, to make them less noticeable as well. “You nervous?” She comes up behind me, I give her a look through the mirror, not even turning around to do so. “Stupid question, Bells.” I stand up straight, fixing my hair as I do so.

“[Name], that boy’s here.” Charlie calls, my body tenses up. My smirks, “shut up.” I tell her, leaving her in my room and I go to the front door. “Bye, dad. I’ll see you later!” I shout out, I’m already out of the door, Jasper there to greet me at the bottom of the stairs.

“Where’s Alice?” I ask, he takes my arm, leading me to his car. “We thought it would be best to have your dad think you’re just dating me so you don’t have to deal with anything awkward unless you chose to.” He explains, opening the car door for me, letting me get in then shutting it to go to the other side. He gets in quite quickly as if he was already missing my touch.

Once on the road he puts his hand in between us, giving me the choice to take it. I’d be stupid not to, my hand meets his. I watch him smile in the corner of my eye. Now thinking about it him and Alice always need to hold or touch me in some sort of way. These past three days have been filled of them either putting an arm around my waist, a hand holding mine, one of them clinging to my arm or a hand simply on my shoulder and knee.

The ride through the trees was beautiful, it’s something I could never get over. The peeping through of animals that stared, the animals that were just living their lives.

“We’re here.” Jasper mumbles, letting go of me but before we could even unbuckle my door opened. It was Alice there with a grin, she helped me out and shut the door. “You look beautiful.” She kisses my cheek that has already warmed up from the attention I got from Jasper. She clinged to my arm as Jasper went up to the house opening the door for us.

Four of them stood in front of me. “[Name], how wonderful it is to see you.” A lady engulfs me into a hug, confused but still hugging her back she lets go, taking my face in her hands. “It’s been so long.” She whispers, I smile awkwardly, not knowing what she’s talking about.

“Esme, she doesn’t remember.” Alice reminds her, Esme’s face drops as it clicks in her head. “It’s nice to see you again, [Name].” Dr. Cullen or Carlisle smiles, I nod. “It’s nice when my sister is not hurt at a hospital.” I joke, he chuckles agreeing with me. “Certainly.” I figured he probably meant the same thing as Esme about seeing me again. Realizing they have all met me before in my past life before this one.

I glance over to Emmett and Rosalie, remembering their names from when Jessica and Angela has explained who they were to Bella. Rosalie has a soft smile upon her lips as Emmett grinned. “Were we friends..?” I questioned, they all chuckle but I wasn’t joking. “Very good ones.” Rosalie tells me and I let out a breath of relief. Her man squeezes her to his side. “Oh yeah, we’ve made quite the memories. You were a wild one.” He laughs loudly, I look back at Alice and Jasper who looked almost pissed by his words but quickly hide it once they saw my face.

“Well, we’re going to talk to her for a little ourselves before Edward and Bella get here.” Alice excuses the three of us, I wave to them and they happily do the same back. Rosalie had an expression on her face once Bella’s name was mentioned. She seemed pained? Disgusted? I mentally shrug, most likely going to find that out later.

“What was that about?” I ask them once we were out on a balcony. They act confused but I knew they know what I am talking about. “Your faces when Emmett said something about my past life. Why can’t anyone tell me anything?” I cross my arms. I was a little upset, I don’t understand why they refuse to tell me about myself.

“[Name], it’s something you have to figure out and know on your own. It will come.” Alice places her hand on my shoulder. I roll my eyes. “Okay, another question.” I state, they both make eye contact with me and I continue. “Why are none of you affected by my blood? Okay I get you two but everyone else also seemed perfectly fine.”

“Carlisle is because he’s been around and a vegetarian way longer than us.” Alice tells me, “The others is because you’re different, we haven’t figured it out but we don’t know.” Jasper frowns, I could tell they wish they knew so they could tell me. Also probably because I ask so many things.

I hear two car doors shut and I look over to see Edward and Bella are here. They don’t notice us or at least Bella doesn’t so I turn back to the other two.

“So, we have to warn you of something.” Alice starts and I notice Jasper has tensed up. “Jasper does well around you obviously but your sister not so much.” I nod, understanding. Jasper holds onto my arm and I look at him sympathetically.

“We want to also give her a small welcoming gift. We have one for you but that’s later.” Alice winks, Jasper then suddenly picks me up and I gasp as they jump down from the balcony. I hide my face in his neck. He chuckles, carefully placing me back down. Alice goes around picking random wild flowers, I watch as she will turn and ask if each one is pretty enough.

Each time we would tell her they are perfect.

I think of all the questions building inside of my head as I lean against a tree, patiently letting Alice do her thing and drag Jasper with her.

And the one question that seems to never go away: Why me?

Out of all of this, why me? Out of everyone, why me? Something I don’t think even they can answer. Or anyone, really. “[Name], let’s go back.” Alice happily says, showing me her flowers too. I smile, nodding, letting Jasper pick me back up and I squeeze my eyes shut as they jump over the rail. Jasper letting me down but holding my hand immediately after.

“Hi, Bella!”

Alice bounces forward towards my sister, kissing her cheek and handing her the flowers. “I’m Alice. You do smell good!” She seemed to be teasing. “Alice.” Edward starts. “It’s alright, Bella and I are going to be great friends.” She tells the taller vampire.

Bella extends out her hand. “And you’re Jasper, right?” He grips my hand a tiny bit tighter and I squeeze it back. “Pleasure to meet you.” He steps behind me.

“You won’t hurt her, Jasper.” Alice gently encourages him, Edward ends up taking her hand instead. “I’ll give you a tour of the house.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Alice speaks up, Edward shoots her a look, both Bella and I notice before her guides her further up the house. Jasper seems disappointed in himself then his eyes go to my face and I smile causing him to do the same.

Alice slides her arm to my waist, giving me a short hug. As awkward as that whole thing was I was glad my sister found someone. The two end up leaving my side, Jasper and Alice tell me they have to talk about something.

Moments later we hear them laughing outside. “She’s brought him to life.” I overhear Esme talking. “He’s been alone too long… but how can it end well?” Carlisle responds. “Alice has been wrong before.” Esme enterjects.

“Not often.”

“How about [Name], she only remembers everything when she comes to a near death experience that in the end does end up-”

My eyes widen, the words that come out of Esme’s mouth cause my breathing to hitch. Near death… What?

Everything looks blurry and I clench at my chest as I try to catch my breath. I hear someone yelling at me but it sounds disoriented. I hold onto whatever is closest to me and end up knocking a glass thing over, breaking it. Luckily someone walks me away from it. I look up. “Hey, hey, calm down.” It’s Alice and Rosalie holding me as I glance over to see Carlisle and Emmett picking up the glass. “I’m sorry.” I exaspperate. “You’re okay, don’t worry. I need you to breathe.” Alice holds my face in her hands almost like Esme did before but this is more comforting knowing it’s my Alice.

She places a hand on my heart. Then Jasper gently push the two girls away and suddenly my fear went away and I can actually take a deep breath without it hurting. Alice pulls me into her arms as everything calms down.

“I want to go home.” I sigh. “We can do that.” She assures me. “I’m sorry,” I apologize to everyone in the room.

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atinylittlepain · 1 year

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Not What You Expected - A Joel Miller Story

dad!Joel x f!reader

Joel Miller masterlist

They're still acclimating to life with baby Miller, a far cry from how they first met.

warnings | 18+ canon-typical violence, angst-ish, mostly fluff tho

a/n | another installation in the Unexpected Expectings universe after much request! This can certainly be read as a standalone, but it's much more fun alongside the other pieces in this world :)

..........................

“She just spit up on me again, didn’t she?”

“Just a little. Here, I’ll get it.” Ellie huffs while she steps behind the girl to wipe off her shoulder where Libby just dribbled her breakfast. Perhaps not surprisingly, Ellie has been as hands on as she can be with her little sister, helping out at bath times, feeding her, reading to her. But she draws the line at changing diapers.

She sighs, stepping out from behind Ellie and leaning against the crib to take in the sight of her gently bouncing Libby in her arms, making ridiculous faces at her wide-eyed little sister and murmuring nonsense.

“You’re pretty cute, huh, Libs? That must come from your mom’s side because it sure as shit doesn’t come from Joel.” She can’t help but laugh at Ellie’s little jab, but, having just come into the doorway to the nursery, Joel seems to feel a bit differently, clearing his throat as he frowns at the girl.

“Kid, I’d rather that one’s first word isn’t some kind of swear, huh? Watch yourself.” It’s obviously lighthearted as Joel’s lips crook into half a grin and he shuffles over to Ellie to gently take Libby from her arms. Even after ten months, she’s still not over the sight of Joel Miller with a baby, with their baby, perched on his hip, his broad palm cupping her back. Ellie doesn’t seem over it either, snorting as she watches Joel rock side to side.

“Easy, killer. Gonna knock someone out with the blinding ray of sunshine you’ve turned into.” Joel scowls over the top of Libby’s head at Ellie who has dissolved into laughter, glancing over at his woman to see that she is also giggling. Not wanting to be left out, Libby lets out a shriek, bouncing her tiny fist against Joel’s cheek. He’s quick to smack kisses to her little fingers, grumbling as he does it.

“You three are gonna kill me, goddamn.”

“With the way you two talk, Libby’s gonna be swearing like a sailor before she can even walk.” Both Joel and Ellie grin at her exasperated look, Ellie sidling up next to her to swing her arm over her shoulder.

“You’re no better. Heard you let out a few choice words in the kitchen the other day when you dropped her bottle.” She huffs at Ellie’s smug look, nudging into her side.

“Alright, alright, kid. Don’t you have a shift starting soon?” Ellie glances at her watch, sighing.

“Ah, fuck.”

“Ellie.” Both she and Joel gripe at her words. Ellie just shrugs, already hustling out of the nursery to get to the stables. With the sound of the front door closing, they look at each other, shaking their heads. Some things never change.

Joel sighs, moving over to the rocking chair and sitting down with a groan as he shifts Libby to cradle her in his arms. She slips behind the chair to lean with her palms on his shoulders, smiling down at their girl who’s quickly dozing in her dad’s hold. She lays a kiss to his temple, and Joel cranes his neck to look at her questioningly.

“What was that for?” She shrugs, grinning crookedly at him.

“Nothing, my ray of sunshine.” She tries to quiet her laughs, not wanting to startle Libby awake, while Joel scowls at her teasing.

“Hey, ain’t the only one softening up, darlin.” She raises a brow at him and he smirks.

“Still remember when I met you. Practically feral, woman. Now look at you. Being all sweet. Wearing my clothes.” She scoffs as she thumbs the collar of the flannel, his flannel, that she’s wearing.

“Oh this? I just wear this whenever I think Libby’s gonna spit up. Better yours than mine, Miller.” He huffs at that as she snickers. She squeezes his shoulder as she continues.

“I may have softened a little. But if I’m remembering that day we met correctly, I did nearly kill you, so you better watch it, sunshine.” Joel chuckles lightly, still gently rocking their girl who is completely out now.

“Mm, I remember alright. Was pissed as hell at the time. But I can say this now – was the hottest thing I ever saw.” They both laugh, their minds now swirling with the memory.

With ten years come and gone, they can both still remember the day they met, clear as anything. Oh, how things have changed.

…

Boston QZ, 2016

He’s exhausted. Another day on burn detail, another day hustling pills to soldiers. The only bright spot, if you could call it that, is the deal he’s working on with Bill and Frank. He and Tess had managed to get their hands on a generator in one of the old apartment buildings, taking it apart to transport to Bill and Frank who had been having some trouble with their own. In return, Joel and Tess had been promised new guns, and ammo, something hard to come by unless you were with FEDRA or those damn fireflies. They’re planning to go in two days. Until then, he’s been keeping the parts under the floorboards in their apartment, so when he gets back to their place that night, Tess still out on some work detail, and lifts the boards to find the parts gone, Joel’s mind reels.

Racking his brain for any possible reason the parts could be moved, he lets out a quiet curse in frustration. He comes up with nothing and the word thief starts to blare through his mind like an alarm. His fingers rest on the hilt of the knife he keeps tucked in his belt as his eyes scan over the apartment. He tries not to let out a chuckle when he sees it. The closet by the door. He and Tess always left it open, didn’t keep anything in it. It’s closed firmly now. Got him.

He moves gingerly over to the closet, drawing out his knife as his hand settles on the doorknob. Before he can swing it open, however, someone is bursting out, knocking him to the ground, his knife skittering across the floor. He can’t get a good look at him as they tumble on the ground, hands at each other’s necks as they roll for dominance. He manages to pin the other man to the ground, but is shocked into stillness by what he sees. He is a she. She sneers at him, a toothy grin.

“Not what you expected, huh, Miller?” Before he can pick his jaw up off the floor, she’s kneeing him hard in the groin, effectively toppling him over as she pins him with her hands around his neck. He grabs at her hands, but she’s strong, stronger than she looks, pressing hard into the sides of his throat and making him gasp for air. He has seen her before, on a few work details, but he had no idea she had this kind of fight in her. It’s all he can do to choke out his question.

“You with Robert?” She laughs hard at that, fingers flexing in the sides of his throat.

“Hardly. His little band of idiots wouldn’t have the brain cells for this.” It’s getting harder for Joel to breath, black spots starting to fuzz his vision. She leans a little closer, unwavering gaze holding him still.

“You got two options here. Number one, you let me in on whatever little business you got going with Tess and I don’t kill you right now. Number two, I kill you and take your parts and your radio and figure it out myself.” He can’t help the wheezing laugh he coughs out. This woman has some serious balls. She doesn’t seem to like that though, her grip around his neck tightening until he really can’t breathe anymore, his legs flailing uselessly on the floor.

“That mean you’d prefer option two?” He shakes his head as best he can in her grip, trying to choke out the word no, and she seems to understand, releasing his neck but keeping him pinned with a forearm across his chest. Joel takes several heaving breaths, trying to clear the haze that had crept into his mind. The first real thought he has as oxygen returns to his brain is that she has pretty eyes. Angry, but pretty.

“I’m not letting you up until I hear you say it.” He takes a few more steadying breaths before he responds.

“I’ll let you in on our business. But you try any shit like this again, I’ll be quicker next time and you won’t get so lucky.” She huffs a laugh at that, finally letting up and sitting back on her haunches as Joel sits up. He rubs tenderly at his neck, wincing at the already forming bruises and muttering to himself.

“You got a grip on you, woman, goddamn. Some first impression.” He’s surprised when she holds out her hand to him. He’s more surprised that he actually takes it, shaking her hand lightly as she smirks at him, telling him her name.

“Figured I’d have to do things a little unorthodox to work with you two. And hey, looks like it worked.” All he can do is shake his head at this woman who has so suddenly become his business partner.

…

Jackson, 2026

“I was going easy on you. Caught me off guard. And you were pretty, even then. Didn’t wanna mess up your face.” She scoffs, nudging him in his side as they stand in front of the crib, watching their sleeping girl.

“Oh yeah? Tell that to the bruises you had on your neck for the next, what was it? Three weeks? Totally going easy on me, uh-huh, so easy you let me nearly crush your windpipe.” Joel huffs around a grin.

“Suppose that’s another thing our girl gets from you. You ladies sure know how to make an entrance.” She stifles her laugh behind her hand as they both dip out of the nursery. Before she can get too far down the hall, Joel slips a lazy palm around her one hip, turning her back toward him and smearing a brazen kiss across her lips, pulling away with a wet smack that makes her eyes widen. He just grins.

“What the hell was that for?” Joel keeps his one hand cupping her hip, the other coming up to stroke along the arc of her jaw as he sighs.

“All this talk of you crushing my windpipe has got me worked up, darlin. Take pity on a poor man, huh?” She lets out a sputtering laugh at his words, but he’s quick to silence her with another kiss, licking into her mouth like a heathen. She pulls back with a gasp, lightly smacking his chest as he gives her a smug smile.

“Watch it, Miller. Or I’ll have to finish what I started ten years ago.” He shakes his head.

“Has it really been ten years? Christ– that’s hard to believe.” She rakes her fingers through his hair as she hums at his words.

“I know. How the hell did we end up here, huh?” He sighs, glancing back into the nursery.

“No clue, darlin. I think you’re the one bit of luck I got in this fucked-up world.” Her fingers still, hands sliding down to wrap behind his neck. She can feel tears welling up hot and fast in her eyes, and to keep them at bay she steals another kiss from him, quick and chaste that leaves them both smiling.

“I’m glad I didn’t kill you, Joel.” He squeezes her hip, still smiling like a fool.

“I love you, darlin. Thank you.”

“What? For not killing you?”

“No. I mean– yes, that too. But, thank you for sticking with me. Fuck– for giving me all this. Just, thank you.” His thumb brushes away a rogue tear that has dripped down her cheek and she sighs under his touch.

“Well, now you’re just trying to make me cry, goddamn it.”

“Hmm, look who’s soft now, darlin.” She smacks his chest as he laughs at her exasperated expression, tugging her into a tight hug. She murmurs lowly into his shirt.

“I love you too, Joel. Love you so much.” They stay like that for a while, his arms wrapped firmly around her, her cheek pressed right over his heart. They’re finally broken out of their quiet moment by the sound of fussy coos coming from the nursery. Joel sighs, pulling away and squeezing her shoulders.

“I’ve got it, mama.”

“You sure? She probably needs a diaper change.”

“I’m sure I can handle that. You should get some rest, were up half the night after all.” She slackens under his touch, nodding lightly as he’s already moving back into the nursery.

She goes to head downstairs, but quickly stops when she hears him start to talk in a soft murmur to Libby. It’s a voice Joel won’t use if he knows anyone else is around, she had only caught him talking in it a few times to their girl, gentle and low. Ellie would have a field day if she heard him.

“Hey, baby girl. Let’s get you cleaned up, huh?” She slides along the wall, stopping just outside the doorway to the nursery to listen in as Joel continues talking to Libby. She can hear Libby’s sweet babblings as Joel keeps murmuring to her.

“My girl’s a talker, aren’t you? Get that from your mama. Woman’s got a mouth on her, let me tell you. One of the things I like best about her. But don’t tell her I said that.” She presses her hand to her mouth, keeping in her giggle at his ramblings.

“I know your sister’s been trying to get you to say her name, but I’d really like it if your first word is mine. Also may have a little bet going with her, but I’ll split the winnings with you if you just say my name first.” She makes a mental note to smack both him and Ellie later for their “little bet,” but continues listening as Libby’s babbling picks up. Joel lets out a laugh.

“That’s it, baby girl. Just string ‘em together. Da-da. I know you can do it. Whip-smart just like your mama, huh?” Libby’s babbling continues, still just nonsense sounds and syllables. Joel sighs.

“Gonna do it in your own time, huh? Think you get that from me. That’s alright, baby girl. Ready whenever you are.” She figures he’s picking her up again from the hesitant coos Libby lets out, Joel quick to shush her.

“I got you, my girl. It’s ok. I got you.” She rests her temple against the wall outside the doorway, closing her eyes and continuing to listen to his gentle words to their girl.

“Love you so much, baby girl. Your mama loves you just as much, and your sister, even if she is already corrupting you. You’ve got all of us on your team, my girl. We’ve got you.”

She smiles to herself. It’s been a long ten years, most of it bad, some of it good. But they really have made a little team for themselves, a little family. It’s certainly not what she expected when she went into business with Joel Miller, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

#unexpected expectings #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller au #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #tlou #joel miller one shot

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videovamptramp · 1 year

Text

the great war pt. 2

sorry this is a little late i was a bit busy these last few days

warnings: dealing with a breakup (happy ending), angst angst angst, but don’t worry it’s more like hurt/comfort

natasha doesn’t leave her apartment for a week after you break up with her. she calls you until your number stops ringing, and she realizes you either blocked her or turned your phone off. she really doesn’t know which one is worse. natasha doesn’t leave the couch all week unless it’s to pee or grab another bottle of whiskey. it isn’t until yelena shows up the next week, that the redhead is finally brought to terms with the fact that she really lost you.

“святой ебать (holy fuck) you look terrible.” the blonde says after walking in. natasha practically shoots up from the couch, nearly stumbling forward because of how drunk she is. natasha, who had foolishly thought you had returned, felt her heart fall back into the pit of her stomach. “what are you doing here?” natasha asks lowly, and yelena purses her lips. “i’m here because she asked me to check on you. she also wanted to make sure liho had her special food.” yelena admits, as she steps further into the two bedroom apartment. “it’s a mess in here. when was the last time you cleaned?” the younger woman scrunches her nose up in disgust. “or changed liho’s litter box?” she questions, as natasha plops down onto the couch, snatching the whiskey bottle off the coffee table.

“she left. she actually fucking left.” natasha mutters more to herself than to yelena. yelena stares at the older woman for a few minutes, but sighs as she walks over to her and sits down. “she asked me to give you back the key. said she was gonna bring it herself but she didn’t want to see maria hill here.” yelena grimaces, and natasha’s head turns to look at the blonde. she stares at the key, not daring to take it. she gave you a copy of that key months into the relationship; she knew you were the one for her right away. natasha had known from the moment she met you. she knew that she wanted to spend whatever of her life was left, with you. except, she’s never been too good at showing the people she loves how much they mean to her. yelena knows that especially.

“she really thinks i’d have hill here?” natasha questions, her voice straining a bit, and yelena shrugs. “guess so. i can’t blame her. ты идиот (you’re an idiot).” yelena blurts out, and natasha glares at her younger sister. “you don’t think i know that?!” she hisses in response, “you don’t think i’ve spent the last week realizing that over and over?! her pictures are everywhere! i can’t go into the bedroom without remembering what an idiot i am.” natasha snaps, and yelena scans her sisters face which is full of remorse, and what looks like faux anger that seems to be hiding pure pain. “i don’t understand you.” yelena admits as she stands up and begins to walk around the messy apartment. she starts cleaning up while slightly ranting, “you had genuine love… and you just had to act like a jerk? you had to cheat right in front of her?” yelena asks, ranting a bit.

natasha’s head snaps over in the blonde’s direction, “cheat?! i never cheated!” the redhead exclaims, making yelena roll her eyes. “flirting is cheating, dumb ass.” yelena retorts, and natasha frowns but stays silent. “she won’t answer any of my calls. i just want to talk to her.” she admits, and yelena purses her lips. “her phones been off. though she said she knows she’s gonna have to talk to you soon.” yelena confesses, and natasha groans. “did she say when??” she questions, and yelena shakes her head. “she’s barely doing much better than you, natasha. she’s hurt. give her time.” yelena states sternly, “or i’ll kick your ass myself.” she adds as she refills liho’s food bowl.

“also take a shower.” she adds, scrunching her nose up in disgust.

over the next few weeks yelena consistently gets natasha out of bed, and back to work. however, natasha doesn’t return to her smug self… in fact, she seems to feel as though she’s on autopilot at work. your on her mind all the time, and that picture of you she keeps in her wallet taunts her. she checks her phone every other hour just to see if you’ve called or texted, but you don’t. whenever she gets home, the house is empty except for liho, who is clearly still waiting for you to come back.

you on the other hand, have been going to work every day, and trying your hardest to not think about the beautiful redhead who clouds your thoughts daily. you spend your evenings with kate and yelena, sometimes you go to bars, or to fast food restaurants. you’ve also been trying to spend more time with your family, though your sisters know you miss natasha. they can see it on your face that something is wrong. you’ve kept your phone off for three weeks now, and you know natasha has probably been calling nonstop. even though you know she’s a literal superhero and can get your landline information, and brothers address (where your staying), she doesn’t. she respects your space and decision. you’re grateful for that.

sometimes you think she might not even be trying to call you at all. maybe she’s found someone else already. you wouldn’t be surprised. you don’t dare ask yelena if that’s the case. you don’t think your heart could handle the answer.

“well if it isn’t my favorite assistant.” tony says as he walks up to your desk, causing you to look up at him and snap out of your thoughts. “i’m your only assistant, mr. stark.” you retort and he chuckles, “that hasn’t quit.” he adds making you laugh a bit. “what do you need, mr. stark?” you ask curiously, “well, i know it isn’t in your job description that you have to attend any of my awesome parties, but… i’d really appreciate if you come— just to keep a little overall of my attendance. of course you can mingle and drink as much as you please!” he begins to ramble and you flash him a look. “a party? when?” you question a bit uncertainly. “tonight! don’t worry, it’s a simple party, really. at the shield compound. i’m sure natasha told you all about it.” he says dismissively and you tense up at the sound of her name.

“o-oh. nat and i broke up.” you confess, and his eyes widen. “what? when?? that little weasel hasn’t told me anything! some best friend she is.” he mutters, and you laugh sadly. “it just wasn’t working out. i don’t think we’re very compatible.” you don’t dare tell him about the real reason. all the flirting. how seeing her flirt with the woman she works with every day sent you over the edge. tony looks at you like you’ve gone crazy, “not compatible? you do realize natasha only ever smiled for show before she met you. i mean, i don’t know a lot about compatibility and whatnot, but i know what you two had was real love.” he blabbers on and you frown.

“sometimes love isn’t enough. especially when one person is giving and giving and giving, and the other isn’t. the other is too busy wasting her time on other girls to even notice.” you hiss and tony looks taken back for a minute. your cheeks turn bright red, and you flush with embarrassment, looking down at the keyboard. “sorry, mr. stark, i didn’t mean to badmouth your best friend.” you whisper and he laughs. “don’t stop on my account. if you really dumped natasha it explains why she barely came back to work a few weeks ago. i honestly just thought you forced her to take a vacation.” he explains and you frown. “she didn’t go to work? for how long?” you ask, knowing if your girlfriend was anything, it’s a workaholic. she never missed missions, not even when she was sick.

“two weeks almost. i really am sorry to hear about the breakup kid, i know how much you guys meant to each other.” he says sincerely, “if you can’t come tonight i understand.” he adds and you offer him a kind smile. “thank you, mr. stark, but i can do my job without letting my feelings get in the way. besides, i’m sure i won’t see much of natasha, even when we were dating she never stuck by my side for too long during those kind of things.” you answer, and he nods. “very well, if you’re sure. i’ll see you tonight. don’t worry about driving, i’ll send a car by your place to pick you up, just text me the address.” he instructs, and you only nod as he walks away.

you let out a quiet sigh; the truth is you’ve been worried about natasha. though there was a cruel voice in your head saying she doesn’t care, there was another reminding you of all the things you do for her. like cook, and clean, you even do her laundry. natasha doesn’t like anyone knowing she’s secretly a slob; she never really was taught the importance of cleaning or any domestic activities. if anyone knew the well put together woman was secretly a mess, she’d never deal. but you knew. you knew and you didn’t care at all; you just smiled and gladly did everything for her without her even asking.

natasha grimaces as she looks in the mirror. she put on makeup and a tight dress for this party, but she doesn’t feel like going. every time she leaves her apartment she can feel your absence beside her, as if something is missing and she just can’t shake it. it’s been a month and natasha still feels as empty as the night you left. she stopped trying to call you, and it’s been two weeks since yelena told her you’d talk to her eventually. she’s starting to wonder if her sister just lied in order to get her off the couch. the redhead glances at the picture of you she keeps on the bedroom nightstand beside her bed. she can’t seem to put it away, because she doesn’t want to go to sleep without you. at least this way a part of you is here.

“are you ready or what? we were supposed to be there an hour ago!” yelena yells from the living room, liho in her lap and a scowl on the assassins face. natasha wonders if yelena really would lie about you wanting to talk to her again. maybe she’s just been comforting you and saying all the right things to make you get over natasha. would her sister really do that to her? natasha knows she deserves it; she left yelena in the red room unknowingly and never went back for her, despite the gut feeling she had to do so. but they’re okay now— except natasha can’t stop replaying what yelena said that night.

“i think when you know someone loves you, you never think twice about them again.”

it’s replaying in her head like a broken record. she doesn’t deserve yelena’s loyalty, and she doesn’t deserve you. yet her heart is so empty without you; she can hardly eat, sleep, or drink anything. she hasn’t even been talking to her friends about this because she’s starting to realize you and yelena are the only people she’s ever been able to be completely open with. now she’s messed it up with both of you.

“hey, you’ve been looking at yourself in the mirror for twelve minutes. i told you we could stay home and watch stupid movie again.” she gestures towards that stupid rom com you left here that natasha can’t stop watching. she’s already made yelena watch it with her every day this week. “why are you trying so hard to get me to feel better? i’ve never even bothered trying to help you or know how you’re feeling.” natasha mutters, causing yelena’s face to go stoic. “because you are my сестра (sister). you are also superhero for world and for me. i’m trying to be good like you, and like y/n.” natasha doesn’t miss the way yelena’s cheeks tint the softest shade of red at the mention of your name.

natasha tries to ignore the ache in her throat. “you are good. way too good. i know how you feel about y/n—“ yelena cuts natasha off, “natasha. don’t.” she states coldly, her demeanor changing as she stands up straight and puts on her poker face. natasha sees herself in her younger sister. “no. i’m serious. i know how you feel about her and at first it pissed me off. now i know why, you’re a better person than me, yelena. you’re strong and kind, and you’re funny. god, you make her laugh so hard. i can’t do that. i don’t know how you’ve seen all the things i’ve seen, maybe more— and you still do that.” natasha rambles and yelena feels her hard facade crumbling. “she doesn’t want me. she wants you. you were here first, so i love her differently. the way she needs to be loved; from distance.” yelena explains simply, trying not to let the emotion in her voice show.

natasha purses her lips, in this moment she knows her sister didn’t lie to her. she knows yelena is too good of a person to lie about that. in this moment natasha can’t help but think yelena is the better person out of both of them. “let’s go, before the party ends and we’re stuck watching that dumb movie again.” yelena changes the subject swiftly before turning around and retreating back to the living room. natasha takes a deep breath, she’s going to be a better person from now on, with or without you. she has to be.

“y/n! you came!!” wanda squeals as she pulls you in for a tight hug; the music is loud and you lost track of attendance awhile ago. “yup! tony made me come for attendance, but in all honesty i forgot about it after my second drink.” you confess sheepishly and she laughs. “i’m so glad you’re here! come on, i have to introduce you to some of the new agents i’ve been making friends with!” she tells you excitedly and you nod eagerly as you allow her to drag you across the room. you haven’t seen natasha yet, and you think that’s a good thing. you’re not sure you’d be able to handle seeing her. especially if she was already with someone else.

you spend about an hour drinking and mingling with wanda’s new friends. they’re nice, but you can’t stop looking over your shoulder. worried natasha might walk in any minute. just as your laughing at something a guy named ricky said, you catch a glimpse of titan red hair out of the corner of your eye. you turn your head, and there she is; walking in next to yelena. she’s wearing a tight red dress, and a pair of stiletto heels. your heart nearly lurches in your chest when you see her. why is she so beautiful?

“you should go talk to her.” wanda snaps you out of your trance, causing you to jump a bit. “you shouldn’t read peoples minds without permission. it’s rude.” you scold and she laughs, “i don’t have to be a mind reader to know you miss her. though your thoughts are loud. you’ve been thinking about her all night.” wanda counterpoints, making you roll your eyes. “i give it twelve minutes before she’s talking to some other poor girl.” you murmur, looking down at your half empty drink. “i actually haven’t seen her at one of these things for awhile. not without you. maybe you should at least try talk to her?” wanda urges and you shake your head. “n-no. i can’t. i’m not ready yet.” you say, feeling as though you’re more trying to convince yourself than wanda.

you know why you’ve waited so long to talk to natasha. because you’re afraid. you’re scared she might be able to convince you with those beautiful emerald eyes that you’re so helplessly in love with. you’re scared you’ll go home with her as soon as she asks you to come back. you know you will, and you can’t handle things going back to the way they were before. you couldn’t take that anymore.

“hey y/n. beautiful dress.” yelena’s soothing voice causes you to turn around and see her. you smile, taking in how beautiful she looks. “hey lena.” you respond, “you look beautiful.” you say sweetly and she blushes. “thank you. as do you. did you save a dance for me?” she asks, and wanda raises a brow at you, but you ignore her questioning looks and nod. “always.” you say as she grabs your hand and leads you to the dance floor.

as if the universe wants you to dance with her, a slow song starts playing. natasha can’t help but bite the inside of her cheek as she watches her sister hold you close and dance with you. you’re so beautiful, and natasha can’t stand the thought of you being with someone who isn’t her. but she reminds herself of how hurt you looked that night; she’s hurt you time and time again. yelena is good, her brain keeps screaming, but i still love you, the other voice screams. she downs the whiskey in her glass, and ignores every person who tries to speak to her.

“she’s watching you know.” yelena whispers as you dance with her, following her lead. “she hasn’t stopped watching you all night.” she adds, and you can’t help but look over at natasha. your eyes lock with hers and you feel as thought you’re heartbeat gets lodged in your windpipe. “it’s okay to still love her. to still want to talk to her even after everything.” yelena proclaims, and you frown. “she hurt me.” you tell her, pulling away slightly to look into her eyes. she’s staring at you with a pair of kind eyes, “she hurt me too. but i forgave her, because she is natasha. she is good, even if she does things that are bad, she doesn’t mean to. she’s human, but she’s good person at heart. you know it as much as i do.” the blonde declares and her words cause you to look at natasha again who is now looking down at her empty glass.

“just go to her.” yelena urges, and you frown, “but our dance…” you trail off and she offers you a soft smile. “we’ll have another some other time.” she assures you, and you can only smile sadly at yelena before walking off in natasha’s direction. natasha sees you walking up to her and she stands up straighter, her heart nearly pounding out of her chest. “hey nat.” you greet her, and she nearly feels her heart stop beating. “h-hey y/n. i haven’t heard from you in awhile…” she says, mentally facepalming herself for letting that be the first thing she said to you within the last month. “i know… i needed some time to think about things.” you confess as you look down at your shoes.

“i know… yelena told me you’d talk to me, but… i almost went crazy waiting. i’ve been a mess.” she admits, and you frown as you look at her. “you look like you’ve been okay though.” she mutters, and you raise your brows in slight disbelief. “i look like i’ve been okay? nat, i haven’t been okay without you at all… i know you care about me, but i just think maybe you aren’t ready for a serious relationship yet.” you tread carefully and you see her face turn to an angry expression in a split second. “who are you to decide that for me??” she asks, trying to keep her voice at bay. “the other part of the relationship! it affects me too, natasha!” you snap, and she looks shocked for a moment, before her face falls.

“i… i know.” she sighs in defeat, and you take her in for the first time all night. she looks exhausted, and thinner, as if she hasn’t been eating. “maybe we should go somewhere private to talk.” you say softly and she nods. you lead her away from the large sea of people, not caring that you’re here for work. tony will understand, if he’s not too hungover and actually shows up for work tomorrow. you and natasha end up in the compounds garden; it’s quiet but you can hear the honking horns and busy streets of new york buzzing in the distance. you go quiet, looking up at the sky, and natasha wishes she could read your mind. though, she isn’t sure she’d like what she’d read.

“i’m sorry i didn’t return any of your calls.” you blurt out and she looks down at her shoes. “i understand why. i know the way i’ve been treating you is unforgivable but… i’ve been a wreck without you голубь (dove). i can’t sleep or think about anything other than you. i know i never say it, but i love you. i’m in love with you, y/n.” you nearly melt at her sincere words, and you can see her eyes full of honesty; broken and evergreen. though, you know you can’t give in so easily. you have to remind yourself why you guys are in this position to keep yourself from slipping into her again. “then why? why did you hurt me all those times…? you made me feel really shitty, nat. i mean, do you know how many times people flirt with me?? how many times i’ve been faithful to you, because it’s not hard! it’s the bare minimum—“ you cut yourself off, pausing as you see her flinch as you raise your voice. you’ve never risen your voice at her because you know too well about her past.

you take a deep breath, “— your behavior and actions really hurt me, natasha. i don’t know if i can ever trust you again, or allow you to put me in a position like that again.” you admit, rubbing your elbow as you stare at her with that look of her hurt that makes her feel like the scum of the earth. you keep calling her natasha, and she hates it. she’s always been “nat” or “natty” to you. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry… please don’t hold back. you can yell and scream at me— call me every name in the book because i deserve it.” she says lowly, and your chest swells with hurt.

your quiet for a short while, and natasha braces herself for the cruel words she knows she’d be screaming your way if the roles were reversed. but standing in front of you is the woman you love, and all her walls are down for the first time. how could you be like everyone else and hurt her while she’s vulnerable? you’d never. “no. you don’t. you’re a wonderful person who makes mistakes like everyone else. nobody taught you how to love and every time you tried they either left you or hurt you.” she can’t even look at you, her bottom lip is trembling and her vision is blurring with tears. the sight breaks your heart. “you said you were sorry?” you ask carefully and she nods vigorously, looking at you and showing you her face.

the tears falling out of those beautiful eyes; streaming down her cheeks and falling off her jaw. they just keep multiplying. “i believe you. i forgive you. but it’s gonna take a long fucking time for me to ever be able to trust you…” you trail off, and all she can do is nod as the words process in her brain. “y-yes— i’ll never try to hurt you again. i promise i’ll be good to you— i’ll treat you like you should be treated. i’ll learn to love you properly.” she proclaims, her voice cracking as she swallows past the lump in her throat. your face softens, and you can’t help but let your heart speed up at her words. “you promise?” you ask cautiously, and she nods, reaching for both of your hands. “on my life and everything i believe in.” she confirms, and you blink a few times, your eyes welling up with tears. now you were both crying like dramatic idiots in love.

“oh nat…” you trail off, unable to finish your sentence or train of thought due to the way she leans in, and steals a kiss. you eagerly kiss her back, her hands letting go of yours, and landing on your waist. she pulls you in close, and deepens the kiss. god, you missed her kisses. you practically melt into her, unable to focus on anything but her. natasha feels like her heart is finally back in her chest, and she can breathe again. kissing you always reminds her how real this is; how lucky she is to actually have you and your love. natasha knows now that she can’t take love for granted, not yours or even yelena’s. because she got lucky somehow.

you pull away, flashing her those big doe eyes she’s so madly in love with. “take me home, nat.” you insist, and she smiles widely; seeing that smile always makes you feel so happy. “anything you want, малыш (baby).” she says, leaning in and stealing a quick kiss before letting you go. you make a mental reminder to thank tony for asking you to come tonight, before grabbing her hand and allowing her to lead you to her car.

tag list — @kksalexa @dark-hunter16 @mrsrushman @jennasoneanonly @newawakening9 @justyourwritter69 @ctrlamira @swiftie1-0-1 @justagurlwholikes @whitewidowsbite

@wifeofnatasharomanoff i hope pt 2 makes it better 😭 i tried not to make it as angsty pt 1

(sorry if u asked me to tag you and i didn’t. it wasn’t intentional, not all of the comments are loading on my fics :()

#lesbian fanfic #natasha romanoff x fem!reader angst #natasha romanoff x female reader #lgbtq #fanfic #jealousy #natasha romanoff x fem reader breakup fluff #natasha romanoff x female!reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader angst #natasha romanov x reader #scarlett johansson x fem!reader angst #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x fem reader angst #jealous natasha x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff angst

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watchyourbuck · 8 months

Text

Oh god okay here we go

Why must I go into heavy detail you ask? Well, I am actually unable to shut up so here it is them 10 TOP “there’s no chance this is a straight friendship” MOMENTS

“You can have my back any day” aka the enemies to lovers speedrun. The immediate feeling we’re supposed to get from the screen is jealousy. Buck is jealous of the new recruit because he’s hot, a medic, a veteran, whatever. I’ll give it to you children, he WAS jealous. But then they go on call and they get into immediate danger bc 911 is a drama and then Eddie’s very keen on being Buck’s partner. Nothing queer til then right? WRONG. Eddie’s line is pretty normal but the way Buck reacts isn’t. I have had my fair share of “huh this person I didn’t like is actually cool” moments but nEVER have I once sucked in a breath, forgot how to blink, rushed in my words OR stared at said person like I’d like for them to be my lover. Three points to Gayfindor.

“Is your son REALLY the reason you don’t date?” This line and the dialogue that follows makes absolutely no sense from the non-queer glass. Alright he asks bc he wants to know why two girls practically launched themselves at him and he declined (such a kind offer lmao) but… why are you standing so close? Why do you bump shoulders with him as you walk? Most importantly, what the FUCK does Eddie’s smirk mean after “they’re not my type either… not anymore.” Idk about you guys but when I’m not on the market I’m actually not in it 😀 and I don’t go around looking at my best friend like I’d consider fucking her (I’m actually kinda yikes about that thought bc she’s like my sister). Bottom line is: if you’re willing to fuck your best friend, there’s attraction. That scenes oozes attraction and I’d be willing to white glove challenge a body language reader.

The Tsunami. YES okay, there are far many moments in between but I also need to make this a somewhat readable list so here we go. We’re gonna pretend for a hot second Buck wants to save his best friend’s son, and not the child that he considers his own bc I’m tired. Let’s skip to the far end of this (be GrAtEfuL I’m skipping the whole sacrifice that this episode entailed. Buck was willing to die, to never sit down again if it meant looking for Chris [& the utter fear he has to face Eddie]. It’s a lot). Now, I do not OWN a child (thank god) but if I did, I wouldn’t be particularly comfortable with a simple friend from work taking care of them. They could be my very best friend from work and I’d still feel a little icky -at least nervous- about it. Yet Eddie not only takes Christopher back A F T E R the tsunami (Chris could’ve died and Eddie is nothing short of apprehensive), but he says ‘there’s no one I trust with my son more than you’. Um. Not his wife. Not his family (CHRIS’ family), not Abuela, not Tia Pepa. Buck. Who he… just met? Surely it isn’t bc he’s uncle buck… I don’t believe even Maddie has said that to Buck, where he’s actually, yknow, UNCLE BUCK. Co-parenting is not something done between a parent and a friend, and I know this shit bc my mom raised me with a few of her friends and guys,,, she never said that to any of them. Also Chris is practically never seen with anyone else from the 188firefam alone.

The Kitchen Scene™️. I have gone on rants about this before but truth be told THIS is the scene that conveys the MOST canonically sexual tension between them. We can joke about it all y’all want but this scene is unhinged. I don’t think Oliver and Ryan were aware that they should’ve been friends in this scene. The way the conversation shifts from apologetic sad puppy eyes to “you’re throwing your punches at the wrong guy” to I CAN TAKE YOU (???) you can what? “Oh you think?” “Oh I know” HELLO? Pls don’t even get me started on how Buck approaches Eddie, the way he’s puffy-chested, his hand on his belt, eyeing him up and down, nearly biting his lip, cocky grin,,,,, explain to me in hetero. I’m waiting😐 guys c’mon exPLAIN IT TO ME IN HETERO. The way Eddie glances to the side bc where’s Chris? And h o w he sips his beer right after, smirking, tiLTING His head. I’m sorry this is not straight in any way. I’m sorry you’re gonna have to accept this.

Clipboard Buck. Alright u got me!!! This one’s a lil silly, but so is my life, so it’s fair game. Clipboard Buck is annoying as fuck, he’s so fucking annoying. The entire firefam picks up on this, no one wants to be around,,,, except Eddie. You could argue that it’s bc he likes him as a friend and he’s just indulging …. 👁️👄👁️ sure but he also hides from Interim Captain Han soooo anyway what’s fun about this is how willing Eddie is to comply with everything he says. He’s basically twirling his hair, kicking his feet, smiling & blushing and “check!” 🧍🏽‍♀️ buck is kinky (that is canon e.g the ring cutter) and he gets high on authority and Eddie does backflips to meet his kinks. Exhibit 5 complete.

The Lawsuit Arc acka the first divorce era😔✊🏼. This one makes me rage a little bit because I get really upset at Buck for acting recklessly. Like baby let yourself HEAL. Anyway,,,, onto what brings us here 🥷🏼. It’s canon that the entire team is mad at Buck, they don’t really wanna bump into him, can’t really speak to him,,, but Eddie? Eddie’s filled with wrath. I cannot stress enough the fact that he uses Chris as an excuse “do you even know how much he misses you? how could you! you’re not here”. The way he expresses himself, and we’re choosing to ignore the fact that he HIMSELF misses Buck,, that’s how you talk to someone who has a responsibility with the child, not the fun coworker that randomly shows up @ your house with pizza every once in a while. “I couldn’t even call you to bail me out of jail”. He’s so u p s e t that for the first time they know each other he can’t rely on Buck when he’s hurting and in danger. And pls for the love of Jesus Christ my lord & savior don’t tell me that it’s a 118 thing bc he calls Ronda Rousey to come pick him up 🎅🏻 that grocery store scene is.. interesting.

Eddie Underground. Alright we’re getting serious now guys,,, might as well put on your thinking caps on this one. We all know the story, this isn’t a latest ep recap soooo The wAY Buck’s the ONLY ONE who desperately calls Eddie’s name when he’s fallen underground, amidst the heavy rain and dirt. Listen to me: he starts digging with his hands. With his bare hands I tell you!!!! 😩 Bobby has to physically pull him back as he cries on his lap. Buck is a smart man, he wouldn’t do something that’s completely illogic, he knows he can’t dig him out but he’s so desperate. His voice breaks, he can’t breathe, he becomes impulsive, reckless, impatient. Do I need to remind y’all the reason he wasn’t the one getting strapped to go underground??? “You’re not going down there. So we can have two cut off ropes?” Everyone knows he’s willing to sacrifice his integrity for Eddie bc his life doesn’t make sense without him. “We’ll get him back for you”

The Shooting + “I’ve made u my son’s dad lol”. When Eddie gets shot the world freezes for Buck. He’s left standing there, staring as Eddie’s blood splatters on him. He has to be tackled down. Even then, he’s unable to move, to breathe. He just looks as he bleeds out, and theN he snaps back into reality, bracing himself to go under the truck (foregoing his own trauma - I’ve said this before) and preparing for the amount of strength it’s gonna take to pull him under it. He screams at him to hold on, and later when he manages to pull him inside the truck he tells him he needs him to hang on. He rips his uniform open, he cries and screams,,, then Eddie wakes up, and he asks BUCK if HES okay. Bc he saw blood :( also as @butraura pointed out, he can’t die if Buck’s dying bc what about Chris? He only lets himself drift off when he knows Buck’s okay. Then we got The Will Reveal™️ also so unhinged. “You knew I wouldn’t turn it down” right what is this guys??? That was a year ago. He added him to his will A yEaR aGo. Idk about y’all but I haven’t added my friends to my will😀 also Buck’s the one who tells Chris ??? (I’m being very brief on this subject). Also “Because, Evan” shut up🧎🏽‍♀️

& 10. The Lightning Strike + “She sees me”. I’m doing these together bc I haven’t watched this episodes yet but I’m an addict so I’ve spoiled myself to the brim. The way Eddie screams Buck’s name, the way he saves him, “do more” h e l l o ?? The absolute PAIN in Eddie’s eyes, “you died Buck” “3 minutes and 17 seconds”, “his humor hasn’t changed” & the fact that he listens to Buck on his super genius math theory. And then Buck goes and says “I feel like Natalia sees me” ok. I mean my feelings mean nothing but Eddie’s face ??? That’s a man that knows he’s waited too long.

I rest my case. I’m missing a lot of scenes (like a lot omg Abby comes back, Buck under the Truck, Buck vomiting blood, the Taylor Arc) & y’all can argue in the comments about them, or add shit or try to dismantle mine, honestly the floor is yours idc wHat u do, just know you won’t convince me otherwise 🤸🏽these two are in love & that’s pretty much that on THAT. PERIOD.

#I’m sorry for this long ass post #buddie #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #911 tv show #buck x eddie #evan buck buckley #buck and eddie #911 abc #buddie drabble #buddie ship #evan buckley x eddie diaz #evan buck buckely #buck/eddie #911 buddie #buddie 911

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lorcandidlucienwill · 5 months

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Ranking the top 10 most pathetic SJM men

10: Ithan Holstrom Come on, if you didn't think him simping for Bryce after knowing her for like 5 seconds was pathetic then idk what is. Also, him being mad about the Fendyr heir being enslaved and stealing fire sprites for revenge will never not be hilarious

9: Fenrys Moonbeam Bro was so desperate to escape Maeve that he almost killed himself. Then he had that "You'd rather my queen die than your king" line. Like bro is Aelin's dog at this point.

8. Eris Vanserra Thanks to @kateduchessofdolittle for making me see how pathetic Eris is.

-Fiancee goes to *great lengths* to get out their engagement. After all that, bro still bailed her out by dealing with her father Keir in ACOSF

- Got to be a passive little bitch to monster father

- seems to be a surrogate father to the *worst* people

- he's giving mama's boy

- his allies taunt him with another engagement and she laughs in his face too

At least he has his dogs.

7. Hunt Athalar Not sure how to explain this one. It's just the *vibes*

6. Tarquin Poor Tarquin. I felt so bad for him during that Feyre-Tarquin scene in ACOMAF (one of these days I shall write the Feyquin fanfic and rectify Feyre's mistakes here).

5. Ruhn Danaan You may be surprised Ruhn is so high up on this list. But bro, Hypaxia duped him so badly. Also, he was so desperate to get back in his sister Bryce's good books. Here are just a few examples from the book:

Ruhn bared his teeth at Maximus as the glowering vamp headed toward the golden steps. “Riso called me a few minutes ago and said you were here. With that fucking creep.” “Excuse me?” Her voice sharpened. It had nothing to do with the fact that she highly doubted the diplomatic club owner had used those terms. Riso was more the type to say, She’s with someone who might cause the dancing to cease. Which would have been Riso’s idea of Hel. Ruhn said, “Riso can’t risk tossing Tertian to the curb—he implied the prick was being handsy and you needed backup.” A purely predatory gleam entered her brother’s eyes. “Don’t you know what Tertian’s father does?” She grinned, and knew it didn’t reach her eyes. None of her smiles did these days. “I do,” she said sweetly. Ruhn shook his head in disgust. Bryce leaned forward to grab her drink, each movement controlled—if only to keep from taking the water and throwing it in his face. “Shouldn’t you be home?” Ruhn asked. “It’s a weekday. You’ve got work in six hours.” “Thanks, Mom,” she said.

She just opened the door. “If you hear anything about the Viper Queen, call me.” Ruhn stiffened, his heart thundering. “Do not provoke her.” “Bye, Ruhn.” He was desperate enough that he said, “I’ll go with you to—” “Bye.”

She flinched as Ruhn said at her ear, “You don’t need to see this.” This was another murder. Another body. Another year. A medwitch even knelt before the body, a wand buzzing with firstlight in her hands, trying to piece the corpse—the girl—back together. Ruhn tugged her away, toward the screen and open air beyond— The movement shook her loose. Snapped the droning in her ears. She yanked her body free from his grip, not caring if anyone else saw, not caring that he, as head of the Fae Aux units, had the right to be here. “Don’t fucking touch me.” Ruhn’s mouth tightened. But he looked over her shoulder to Hunt. “You’re an asshole.”

Ruhn was in the apartment lobby when Fury dropped her off. Tharion left them at the docks, saying he was going to help haul in the seized synth shipment, and Fury departed fast enough that Bryce knew she was heading out to make sure the Viper Queen didn’t abscond with any of it, either. Ruhn said nothing as they rode the elevator. But she knew Fury had told him. Summoned him here. Her friend had been messaging someone on the walk back from the docks. And she’d spied Flynn and Declan standing guard on the rooftops of her block, armed with their long-range rifles. Her brother didn’t speak until they were in the apartment, the place dark and hollow and foreign. Every piece of clothing and gear belonging to Hunt was like an asp, ready to strike. That bloodstain on the couch was the worst of all. Bryce made it halfway across the great room before she puked all over the carpet. Ruhn was instantly there, his arms and shadows around her. She could feel her sobs, hear them, but they were distant. The entire world was distant as Ruhn picked her up and carried her to the couch, keeping away from that spot where she’d yielded herself entirely to Hunt. But he made no comment about the bloodstain or any lingering scent. 4. Lucien Vanserra (or Spell-Cleaver? Vanserra sounds better)

Ah, Lucien, Lucien, Lucien. My poor baby just wants somebody to marry him. Does it get any more pathetic than "I'm a mated male now?" My man prepares for rejection every holiday without fail. He and Lucien did not exchange gifts, though the male had brought a gift for Feyre and one for his mate, who barely thanked him after opening the pearl earrings. Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. 3. Chaol Westfall I don't think many people remember Lithaen, but Chaol was in love with her and she fucked Dorian's cousin instead. Also there was this:

Babe, ily but wtf. You ran into a different fucking dimension to save your ex-girlfriend's DOG??? Talk about pathetic. 2. Lorcan Salvaterre Bro abandoned the queen he served more loyally than any of the rest of the cadre the moment a tiny little human with witch blood showed a little cleavage and bossed him around. Bro wanted to be someone's bitch SO BAD. He RIPPED his shirts up for her periods even after she refused to even speak with him and said she hopes he's miserable and spends the rest of his life alone (and threatened to gut Rowan and Gavriel if they ever told her it was him). He swore a blood oath to his greatest enemy just to protect her and lost the will to live when she called him a monster. Absolutely fucking pathetic and we love him for it. 1. Tamlin It was a close fight to first, but nobody can beat Tamlin in the pathetic category. For one, of all the love interests we have seen, he is in possession of the least rizz. Negative rizz, actually. Lucien actually roasted him so badly for his negative rizz, and Lucien personally backed off so Tamlin and his negative rizz could rizz up Feyre. Bro sacrificed all of PRYTHIAN to keep Feyre safe, bartered with his enemy to get her back, only to have her destroy his court. Even after that, he saved her life at the Hybern camp and revived her mate. And unlike the others above, he didn't get the girl, and probably won't get any girl, actually. We could always put him up for adoption and one of the members of the fandom can take him? Maybe??? Maybe @kateduchessofdolittle will take him.

#ithan holstrom #fenrys moonbeam #eris vanserra #hunt athalar #tarquin #ruhn danaan #lucien vanserra #chaol westfall #lorcan salvaterre #tamlin

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andwegogreen · 9 months

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924 words, entirely inspired by this painting. historical/early 1900s, industrial town. daniel works at the factory and is heavily involved with the union/workers' rights. max is the eldest daughter of factory owner jos. thank you to @lilyrizzy and @thewindowatkirkland for cheerleading this <3

“Daniel, you need to leave. Go down to the pub, and we’ll come get you when it’s all done,” Michelle’s voice was loud, seemed too loud for Max, even as she couldn’t stop groaning in pain as another wave of it came over her.

She had of course known that having a baby was not going to be easy, but it was never something she could’ve imagined. Victoria had told her as much as she could, having already had two babies of her own, but Max realised there was a big difference between hearing it and experiencing it, of truly understanding the pain.

When Michelle’s words registered, she immediately grabbed onto Daniel’s wrist harder.

“Don’t leave me, please, Daniel, you can’t leave-”

“Maxy, I’m not gonna leave you I promise-”

“-Daniel, you have to go, you can’t be here-”

“‘Chelle, I swear to God, I am not leaving her. I am NOT!” Daniel never yelled, and maybe that was why Michelle gave up on arguing with him, instead leaving the room for a moment.

Daniel crouched down next to Max, stroking her sweaty hair off her forehead and kissing her cheek gently.

“I’m not leaving you, Maxy. I’ll be right here, yeah? Gotta be here to see you have our baby, don’t I?”

Max could only nod helplessly as another wave of pain rushed over her, making her grab Daniel’s hand even harder. He kept stroking over her hair, whispering little things she could only half-make out: how much he loved her, how proud of her he was for this, how much he couldn’t wait to meet their baby, how he was never going to leave either one of them.

The rest of it went by in a blur, but the only constant was Daniel. Holding her hand, stroking her hair, letting her lean back against him between pushes. And then she was there. Their daughter. Their perfect baby daughter, with ten little fingers and ten little toes.

When the midwife placed her on Max’s chest, she could feel the heaving sobs from Daniel where he was pressed up against her. His big hands coming up to cover Max’s where they held their daughter so gently, his fingers stroking over her perfect little face. Neither of them could take their eyes off her, but Max leaned back ever so slightly, tilting her head to lean against Daniel’s as she whispered “she looks just like you”.

It felt silly to speak louder than that, in the little bubble where only the three of them existed. Daniel’s chuckle shook through her body, the same way his crying did just moments before.

“With a head like that, Maxy? She’s all you, through and through.” He whispered too, like he also couldn’t believe that this was happening, that this was real life.

Max had to trace over her features, their perfect daughter’s perfect nose, the same way she always did with Daniel’s.

“Not my nose though. This is of course yours.”

“Your head and my nose, huh? Sounds like she’s ours then.” Max could hear the smile in Daniel’s voice, and she knew she had to see it. See his smile for the first time as a dad, in this new life for them. It was bigger and brighter than she could’ve ever imagined, even bigger than the first time he said he loved her, even bigger than on their wedding day.

Easy as anything, Max reached out to place their daughter into Daniel’s arms for the first time. The same strong arms that had worked so hard for so many years, to provide for his parents and his sister and her children, and now for their little family, for their child.

Daniel managed to tear his eyes away from the baby and meet Max’s properly for the first time. Seeing his smile widen, seemingly an impossible feat at that point, was enough to make her laugh, almost in disbelief. This was real. They were here. They had a daughter now.

“So we’ve got our little Sophie, huh Maxy?”

Even hearing the name out loud, the name that had been her mother’s, that would now be her daughter’s, was enough to bring fresh tears to her eyes.

It had been so many years now since her mother had passed, but Max still missed her every day. She couldn’t help but wonder how she would feel about the woman Max had grown into, if she’d be proud. Max would like to think her mother would be.

In the years they’d gotten with her, Sophie had always been loving and attentive, stepping in when their father thought she should leave it to the nannies. Max remembered curling up into her mother’s side as Sophie read her and little Victoria bedtime story after bedtime story, always agreeing to their pleas of “just one more story, mummy, please”, and how safe she’d felt there, hidden away from the coldness of her father.

Max already knew that her daughter wouldn’t have those same experiences. She was so lucky to have Daniel as her father, would never know anything but love and support and warmth from him.

Max could already picture him practicing his reading in preparation for her stories at bedtime, fighting the jumbled up letters for her. Max could also already picture how she’d join in, laying in the middle with Daniel’s head on one shoulder and little Sophie’s on the other, soothing them both to sleep with the same stories her mother once read her.

#baby's first fic!!!#i have SO many thoughts about this verse... SO MANY!!!#i found the painting in a tumblr post and i tried to track down whose blog it's from and i COULD NOT FIND IT lmao #my fic #maxiel

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mxlti-fand0m-imaginess · 2 years

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All Too Well // Eddie Munson

request: none

prompts: none

summary: when you started dating eddie, it was the happiest time of your life. but as time went on, eddie started acting different. and the bond between the two of you suffered because of it.

warnings: language, mentions of drinking and drugs, mentions of drug addiction and substance abuse, chrissy’s eating disorder is mentioned briefly, self image issues, allusions to smut, eddie being an asshole, crying, hints at cheating, and a whole lotta heartbreak

word count: 11.6k

a/n: very off character for eddie, does not follow the plot of season four at all, starcourt didn’t burn down, gn!reader, i know it says he’s an asshole in the warnings but he’s not like that the whole time! there’s also no spoilers for season four!

this is the longest fic i’ve ever written, and i’m so incredibly proud of it! i hope you enjoy it!! :)

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold

But something 'bout it felt like home somehow

And I left my scarf there at your sister's house

And you've still got it in your drawer, even now

“Come on! Hurry up!” you called behind you as you ran towards Eddie’s trailer.

The two of you had thought it would be fun to go ice skating on Lover’s Lake, but the gentle snowfall soon grew heavier, and the thought of staying outside any longer made you feel like you were going to develop frostbite. Of course you both had the bright idea to walk to the lake, and now had to run back to Eddie’s trailer for shelter.

Your lungs burned, and your cheeks and the tip of your nose were going numb, but you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. Though the date hadn’t been what you had planned, having to watch Eddie struggle to run in the snow was quite amusing. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t struggle either.

When he finally caught up to you, Eddie unlocked the door and you both pushed inside, feeling the warmth of the trailer against your near frozen skin.

“It’s really coming down out there. I’m not sure you’ll be able to get home tonight,” Eddie said as he peeked through the blinds on the window.

You simply smiled as you pulled your scarf off, tossing it away not noticing nor caring where it went, you could always find it later.

“So, impromptu sleepover?” you asked, giggles breaking in through your words.

Eddie ran over to you and tackled you in a hug, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. You hissed at how cold his lips were, but you didn’t pull away.

“I like the way you think! I’ll make hot cocoa. Why don’t you pick out some movies?”

You nodded, a bright smile ever present on your face, and walked over to the stacks of VHS tapes scattered around the television. Excitedly, you searched through them, finding some of your favorites, and grabbing some of Eddie’s too.

Tonight was gonna be amazing.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze

We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place

And I can picture it after all these days

“Oh my god, I love this song!” you said as you cranked up the volume on Eddie’s car radio.

Eddie’s eyes widened as he turned to look at you, feeling a smile begin to grow on his face.

“You like Metallica?” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah! You never shut up about them, so I figured I might as well listen to them. Now I get it though, they’re really good!”

“And just when I thought you couldn’t get any more perfect!”

You laughed at his statement before turning your attention back to the radio. You didn’t know all the words, considering you had only heard the song a few times before. You tried your best to sing along, mumbling whenever you didn’t know the words.

Eddie smiled over at you, and soon enough he began singing along with you. Neither of you sounded any good, but you didn’t care. It was the most fun you’d had all day, having been stuck in a car heading to who knows where. Eddie said he wanted to go on a road trip without a destination. And while that seemed like a perfectly good way to get lost, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no given how excited he was.

When the song finally ended, you didn’t want to stop singing along. Eddie knew all the words to the next song, but you, having never heard it before, made up your own words, much to Eddie’s amusement.

“Making your own remix I see,” he said in between laughs.

“Damn right. It’s the new and improved version.”

“Well I wouldn’t say improved.”

“Excuse me?” You turned to face him, face growing hot with laughter.

The rest of the car ride was filled with awful singing, terrible jokes, and fits of never ending laugh that made both of your sides hurt.

And I know it's long gone and

That magic's not here no more

And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all

You sat at a table at Scoops Ahoy, impatiently tapping your fingers against the surface. You and Eddie were supposed to meet for an ice cream date almost an hour ago, but he was nowhere to be seen. You had just about given up hope, and were debating on whether or not to just go home, when you finally saw Eddie walking towards you.

“Where were you?” you asked him as he sat down next to you.

“What do you mean?”

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago! I was just about to leave,” you replied, hurt evident on your face.

“But I thought you said we were meeting at four?”

“Eddie, it's almost five.”

“Is it?” He checked his watch, and sure enough it read 4:57. “I’m sorry sweetheart, Hellfire ran long again, guess I just didn’t realize what time it was.”

You sighed and nodded. This is the third time this month he’d been late. It was starting to feel as if he’d rather be with his friends than with you. You didn’t mind it when he hung out with other people, but this was supposed to be your time together. And he kept spending it with people who weren’t you. It felt like he was starting to not care as much anymore.

'Cause there we are again on that little town street

You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking' over at me

Wind in my hair, I was there

I remember it all too well

“Eddie stop!” you yelled at him, jerking his attention back to the road.

Eddie quickly slammed on the breaks, stopping the car before running through the red light. Your eyes were wide as you looked ahead at the cars crossing through the intersection. You turned to look over at Eddie, only to find him looking at you with a slightly amused expression.

“Why didn’t you stop?” you asked, shoving his shoulder playfully.

“I was looking at something much more interesting than the road,” he retorted.

You felt your face grow hot when you realized what he was referring to.

“You can ogle me later Eddie! I’d really prefer to not get into a crash,” you replied, feeling laughter bubble up in your throat despite yourself.

“Fine, fine, fine! I’ll pay attention to the road,” he jokingly grumbled.

You laughed once more and leaned over to rest your head on his shoulder. You looked up at him, smiling.

“I love you, you dork.”

You kept your gaze on him, waiting for any sort of reaction. But he simply kissed your forehead without looking down at you. Even though you were the one who told him to keep his eyes on the road, it left you feeling a little deflated. You brushed it off, telling yourself that he must not have heard you. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that kept thinking otherwise.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed

And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team

You told me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me

“Eddie, guess what I found?” Eddie’s uncle said as he walked towards the couch you and Eddie were sitting on.

In his hand he held a book that sort of looked like a photo album. Eddie groaned and buried his face in his hands, seeming to recognize it instantly. His reaction only made you even more intrigued in the book, and its contents.

“What is it?” you asked, turning to Eddie.

He didn’t answer you, and instead continued to grumble into his hands.

“It’s his baby photos,” Mr. Munson said teasingly as he sat down next to you on the couch.

“Ooooh! I wanna see,” you said, excitement filling you at the thought of seeing how adorable Eddie looked as a baby.

“No, please don’t,” he whined, finally looking over at you and his uncle.

“Too late,” you replied with a smirk on your face.

Mr. Munson handed you the album, and you pulled in open, looking over all the photos. Your smile only grew wider as you took in all the adorableness. There was a photo of Eddie covered in spaghetti, having thrown it everywhere instead of actually eating it. Another one was of him in the bathtub with a beard made out of bubbles.

“Oh my god, you were so cute!” You giggled as you elbowed Eddie in the side.

His cheeks grew red at your words, and he desperately tried to pull the photo album out of your hands, but you moved it away and continued flipping through it, watching as he grew older in the photos.

“Ohhh, so this was the infamous buzzcut era,” you joked as you saw Eddie’s eighth grade yearbook photo.

Eddie only continued grumbling and pouting as you and Wayne continued flipping through the pictures, and continuing to poke fun at Eddie the whole time.

And you were tossing me the car keys, "Fuck the patriarchy"

Key chain on the ground, we were always skipping town

And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now

He's gonna say it's love, you never called it what it was

“Eddie, can we talk?” you asked, turning to look over at him.

He kept his gaze on the road, but nodded to let you know he was listening.

You paused for a second, debating whether or not to go through with what you wanted to say.

“How come you never say you love me?”

You could feel the tension in the car grow as soon as the words left your mouth. Eddie still never looked over to you, but you noticed his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“What do you mean?”

You sighed to yourself before continuing, “I’ve been saying that I love you for a few months now, but you’ve never once said it back. I used to think you just kept not hearing me, but I know you have. You’ve heard it every time. Why don’t you say it back? Do you not love me?” Your voice broke as you finished speaking, and you felt tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill over.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s all you have to say? Eddie, how can you not know whether or not you love me? We’ve been together for almost a year! Do you really not feel anything?”

“What do you want from me y/n? I said I don’t know! Can’t you give me some time to figure out my feelings?”

“I’ve given you time! I’ve given you months! Ever since I first told you that I loved you, I waited and waited for you to finally say it back! But you never do! And it hurts Eddie. It hurts so much.”

“Well I’m sorry that it hurts you, but I can’t just wake up and suddenly decide that I love you!”

His words were the last straw, and your tears finally spilled over. You reached up and tried to hurriedly wipe them away, not wanting to make a big deal out of them.

“Well if you don’t love me then why are we even together?” you shouted, all your pain and hurt bubbling up to your surface and spilling over.

“I don’t know,” he said sadly.

You looked out the window, not wanting to see him right now. Even though neither of you confirmed it, you could just feel that it was over. And you brought it upon yourself. If only you had just stayed quiet, and waited. Maybe things would’ve been better. But here you were, sobbing your heart out on a road in the middle of nowhere, stuck in a car with Eddie. When all you wanted to was be back home in your bed, away from him.

'Til we were dead and gone and buried

Check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same

After three months in the grave

And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you

But all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame

“Y/n, I’m sorry. Please just talk to me. I miss you.”

You stared at your ceiling, listening to the voicemail Eddie had left you. It had been almost a month since you both had called it quits, but you couldn’t bring yourself to even begin to move on. And here he was, calling you up and apologizing. You knew it was never a good idea to get back with your ex, especially considering how things ended. But in the moment, all you could remember were the good moments of your relationship.

Running through the snow together and then spending all night cuddled up together under a mountain of blankets and watching horror movies. Singing along horribly to the radio and making up your own words when you didn’t know them. Looking through his baby photos and calling him adorable just to see him blush.

You couldn’t bring yourself to remember all the times he showed up late, the growing distance between the two of you, the fact that he never once said how he truly felt about you. But in the moment, when you could only remember the good times, you couldn’t find a way to stop yourself from picking up your phone and calling him back. Consequences be damned, you missed Eddie, and you still loved him. And there was no way in hell you’d pass up a chance to get him back.

You sat up and reached for your phone, dialing the number you’ve called so many times. The phone rang a few times, and your heart was pounding so loud you could hear it. Finally the phone was picked up on the other end of the line.

“Hello?”

“Eddie? It’s me.”

And I know it's long gone and

There was nothing else I could do

And I forget about you long enough

To forget why I needed to

As the weeks went on, you started to remember why things had ended with Eddie.

When you first got back together, things were amazing. You were happy again, and the two of you went back to how you used to be almost immediately. You didn’t care about the heartache he caused, or all the self-loathing thoughts. You finally had him back, and you didn’t want to think about the bad memories ever again.

But soon he started showing up to things late again. He never even acknowledged it, and he just went about as if you hadn’t been waiting for his arrival for over an hour. And he grew more distant again. There were less meaningful conversations, and car rides were spent in silence, except for the low hum of the radio.

You could feel rifts beginning to grow between the two of you, but you didn’t want to acknowledge them. You just wanted to be with Eddie, even if it meant forcing yourself to pretend to be happy. You didn’t realize just how much he was hurting you, because even throughout all the shit he put you through, your relationship still had its good moments. And you decided to blindly follow those moments, pushing down everything he did that hurt you.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night

We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there

I remember it all too well

You were sat on the couch in Eddie’s living room, crying. You had just had another meaningless fight, and they were seeming to become more and more common as the time went on. You still loved Eddie, part of you thought you always would, but that didn’t change the fact that it still hurt every time you were caught in a screaming match.

You heard the door to his bedroom open, and you looked up to see Eddie walking towards you. His face held a solemn expression, one similar to the look on yours. Wordlessly, he grabbed your hands and pulled you up and into his embrace.

“Dance with me,” he said, beginning to sway the two of you.

“But there isn’t any music playing.”

“Who cares about that? We can make our own music.”

Eddie began humming a tune you recognized, but you couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly. You did your best to hum along with him as the two of you danced around the living room. Your tears subsided, and you felt yourself relax into his embrace.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” he whispered softly.

“I’m sorry too,” you replied, wrapping your arms around him tighter.

You could feel your sadness melt away, and all you could focus on was Eddie. How his thumbs gently rubbed circles in your back. How he pressed kisses along your hairline, while still humming the song. How his arms tightened around you when you pulled him closer. It’s like he knew exactly how to make you feel better. And even though you were mad at him earlier, you couldn’t be more grateful to be in his embrace.

And there we are again when nobody had to know

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath

Sacred prayer and we'd swear

To remember it all too well, yeah

You were sitting next to Eddie on the couch, the rest of his friends surrounding the two of you. There was some movie that Eddie had finally gotten on VHS and they were all dying to see it. Eddie invited you along too, not wanting you to feel upset since Saturday was usually your date night.

You brushed off your feelings about the change of plans, and focused on how excited Eddie looked. You didn’t even know what the movie you were watching was, nor what it was about, but you didn’t care. You had spent most of the duration of the movie admiring Eddie, and the excitement that flashed across his face throughout the movie.

You slipped your hand over to his, placing it on top and grasping it. But a few moments later, he pulled his hand away. Your heart shattered at the action as you watched him place his hand in his lap, away from you.

You turned away and looked at the ground beneath your feet, willing yourself not to cry. Not here. Not now, in front of everybody. Despite your efforts, you could feel your hot tears begin to fall past your eyes. You blinked hard a few times to push them out before mumbling some excuse and heading towards the bathroom.

Locking the door behind you, you placed your hands on the sink and looked at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were turning red and puffy, silent tears falling freely down your face. He pulled away from you. Despite everything, all of the shit he had put you through, all the fights, everything, never once had he pulled away from you before. Nothing else he had done had hurt as much as this.

You couldn’t stand to look at your reflection anymore, and instead leaned against the door, slowly sliding down until you were crumpled in a ball on the floor. You hugged your knees to your chest, letting yourself sob freely.

Well, maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece

'Til you tore it all up

Running scared, I was there

I remember it all too well

“You pulled away! Why did you pull away from me?”

After all of Eddie’s friends had left, he had finally noticed that you hadn’t returned from the bathroom. He knocked on the door, and when he opened it he could tell that you were crying. He asked why, and your feelings exploded out, causing you to yell at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Yes you do! During the movie I grabbed your hand and you pulled away? Why didn’t you want to hold my hand? Did you not want your friends to see it?”

“I don’t know, I just did! Why would I care if they saw us holding hands? They all know we’re dating!”

“Why didn’t you want to hold my hand?” you asked again, softer this time, tears threatening to fall for a second time that night.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to hold your hand! I just pulled away! Does it really even matter?”

“Yes Eddie, it does matter! You’ve never pulled away from me before! We’re growing apart again!” Tears were streaming down your face at this point, all the pain you had felt earlier that night returning once more.

“I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of it! So what if I pulled away? It doesn’t matter! Why do you always have to start fights?”

“Oh, I’m the one starting fights? You never pay attention to me anymore! It’s like I’m not even there! You pick apart every little thing I do! It’s like I’m never good enough for you anymore! You always find something that I’m doing that’s wrong! You always feel the need to fix things that don’t need to be fixed!”

“God, what are you even talking about? Listen to yourself, you’re not making any sense!”

“I can’t do this anymore, Eddie! I’m tired of feeling worthless all the time! I’m tired of you acting like I’m not even there! I’m tired of you starting fights over nothing!”

Eddie fell silent for a moment. You felt hopeful, thinking that maybe, somehow you talked some sense into him. And maybe everything could finally go back to how it used to be. But your new found hope was short lived.

“Fine. If that’s how you really feel, then maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore.”

“Eddie,” you said barely above a whisper, feeling your very being shatter.

He didn’t say anything else, not having anything else to say. You both stood there in silence for a moment, feeling the weight of everything you both had just said crash down on top of you. After a while, it was clear he wasn’t going to say anything to you anymore. You slowly walked over to the door, and turned around to look at him one last time before leaving, but he wasn’t even looking at you.

“Goodbye, Eddie.”

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all

“Please let me in. I’m sorry,” Eddie said from the other side of your door.

Your parents had let him into your house, not understanding the way things were left between the two of you. So here Eddie was, standing outside of your bedroom door, begging you to give him another chance.

“Things will be different this time, I promise. Just please, talk to me. I miss you so much. Open the door, please.” His voice broke at the end of his sentence and you could hear muffled cries coming from the other side of your door.

Just the thought of him crying made your heart ache. It hurt to know that you were the reason behind your tears. Which was kinda funny considering how many times he had made you cry. But his pleads and broken sobs only a few feet away from you were beginning to wear down your resolve.

“One last chance,” you thought to yourself.

You stood up from where you were sitting on your bedroom floor and slowly walked over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Your heart broke from how miserable he looked. Despite everything he had put you through, it still never failed to hurt when you saw him cry.

Wordlessly you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him flush against you. He wrapped his arms around you as well, tightening his grip as if he were afraid you’d disappear.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I’m so so sorry,” he muttered to you, still not letting go.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything in return, not wanting to bring yourself out of this moment with him. You had missed his touch, longing for his embrace every single day you were apart. And now that he was finally back in your arms, you never wanted to let go.

They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new Hell

Every time you double-cross my mind

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine

And that made me want to die

“God, you’re so childish! You’re making a big deal out of nothing!” Eddie yelled as he walked outside, pulling you along behind him.

You pulled your hand away from him at his words, causing him to turn and look at you.

“It wasn’t nothing, Eddie! You’ve been avoiding me all night! I only went to that stupid party because you wanted to! But as soon as we get here, you leave me, and you’ve been doing god knows what since!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what that’s supposed to mean! I saw Chrissy eyeing you up, and then I saw you walk off after her! What else am I supposed to think?”

“I didn’t walk off after her! Jesus Christ, you’re delusional! I should’ve known this was never gonna work,” he mumbled the last sentence to himself, but you still heard him.

You stepped closer to him, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to crying.

“What?” you asked him, barely above a whisper.

“I’m almost 21, and you’re not even 19 yet! Sometimes I just feel like you’re not mature enough to be in a relationship.”

“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me Munson! I’m not mature enough? Me? Are you fucking serious right now?”

“See, here you go again! You’re always getting so worked up over nothing!”

“And you never care about anything! You never care about me, or anything I want! It’s always just you! We do what you want to do! We only hang out when you have the time! You never make time for me anymore!”

“So what? Am I not allowed to have friends anymore or something? Is that really what you’re saying?”

“I never said that!” You paused for a second, taking a deep breath, before turning around and heading back inside the house.

“Where are you going?” Eddie called after you.

“I need a drink.”

The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you

Not weeping in a party bathroom

Some actress asking me what happened, you

That's what happened, you

You stepped inside the bathroom, locking the door behind you. You could hear the cheers of drunk kids and the muffled thumping of the blaring music. You sat on the edge of the bathtub, and soon you felt tears begin to fall down your face.

The words you and Eddie had said replayed in your head. He always seemed to twist everything in his favor. He blamed you for everything, coming up with bullshit excuse after bullshit excuse to push the blame away from him. But his latest one hurt you the most. Your age gap? That’s what he decided to go with?

You would admit that it did feel a little weird to be dating someone almost two years older than you, especially after having just turned 18. But he always said that it wasn’t a big deal, that it was never a problem for him.

“Guess that was a lie,” you whispered to yourself, letting out a sad laugh.

You would spend the rest of the night hiding out in here if you had to, not wanting to face Eddie for a while. You had just barely calmed your tears, but the mere thought of speaking to him again brought them back full force. You heard a knock on the door and tried to quiet your sobs, hurriedly wiping the tears off your face.

“Y/n? You in there?” a voice on the other side of the door said.

You wanted to answer, but couldn’t find enough energy within yourself to do so. After a few moments, the voice spoke again.

“It’s Robin. Are you ok?”

Slowly you stood up and unlocked the door, feeling relief wash over you at the sight of your best friend. She stepped inside the bathroom and locked the door behind her. When she turned back to face you, you immediately pulled her into a hug, and began sobbing again.

“What happened? Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, gently rubbing you back as your sobs continued to wrack through you.

“Ed-Eddie,” you mumbled out through your sobs, struggling to say anything else through the force of your tears.

But the one word was enough of an answer for Robin. She knew everything he had put you through, having witnessed most of the fallout first hand. She didn’t try to get you to say anything else, knowing it would only make you cry harder. So she stood there with you, holding you close.

She wanted to tell you to leave him, to dump Eddie and stop going back to him. Find someone who cared about you, someone who loved you. Really loved you. But she couldn’t bring herself to say any of that right now. You were already so upset, and she didn’t want to make it worse. She was going to have to wait. One day she would get through to you, and convince you to leave Eddie for good. But that day wasn’t going to be today.

You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes

Sipping coffee like you're on a late-night show

But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willing you to come

And he said, "It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one"

It was finally your 19th birthday. You were so excited, giddy from the thought of getting to see all your friends again. It had been a while since all of you were together in one place since you had all graduated.

The day was going absolutely perfect. You went to the movies with Steve, Robin, and Nancy, and the four of you had spent the rest of the day at the mall. Every time you suggested returning to your house, they pointed out another store, or some kiosk they wanted to stop at. You had a feeling they were stalling you, especially since your parents loved throwing you surprise parties. But you played along blindly, wanting to humor them.

By the time you had all headed back to Steve’s car, you had more shopping bags than you could carry. You, Nancy, and Robin decided to pile all of your bags on top of Steve, finding it absolutely hilarious when he struggled to carry them all.

After packing all of the bags into Steve’s trunk, you all piled back into his car. Steve was always a careful driver, but this was just insane. He was driving so slow, you were pretty sure that if you got out and walked you would arrive at your house first. But no one else seemed to notice, or at least they didn’t say anything about it. You figured that he was stalling again, so you decided that you wouldn’t mention it. If they really were going through all this trouble for you, the least you could do would be to not complain about it.

Almost an hour after having left the mall, Steve pulled up to your house. There were a suspicious number of cars lining the street, and all the lights in your house were turned off. Your suspicions had been right. You smiled to yourself as you hopped out of the car and walked towards Steve’s trunk to grab your bags.

“We can grab those later, let’s just head inside. Alright?” Steve asked, trying and failing to not look like he was up to something.

You nodded and followed the three of them to your front door. You put the key in the lock and turned it, pushing open the door. And just like you had thought, the lights turned on and at least twenty people jumped out and yelled, “Surprise!”

You faked as much surprise as you could muster, pretending like you didn’t have this whole thing figured out hours ago. You were pretty sure everyone knew that you knew, but if they didn’t want to mention it then neither would you.

You looked around at everyone there, feeling your smile grow wider as you saw family members and friends from high school, both of which you hadn’t seen in a while. But there was one person you didn’t see hanging out amongst the small group of people. And though you were incredibly grateful for everyone who did show, you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t hurt that Eddie wasn’t there.

It was as if Robin could read your mind, and she slid up right next to you.

“He said he was just going to be a little late. I’m sure he’ll come,” she said, trying to be hopeful.

You nodded, trying to believe what she had said. But as the time went on, and the party was slowly winding down, you could feel yourself losing hope. Even when you were blowing out your birthday candles, your eyes were locked to the front door, wishing that Eddie would show up.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

It had been almost a week since you and Eddie had broken up for the third time. And you were serious when you told yourself that you wouldn’t be giving him any more chances. You had barely left your room at all that week, not having the energy to even get out of bed some days.

You and Eddie had been together for almost two years, and now it was just over. He was the biggest chapter of your life, but now you had to start anew. And you didn’t have a clue where to start. You were so lost without him. It was like everything made you think of him and the time you had spent together.

But you knew that laying in bed mourning wouldn’t do you any good in moving on. If you really wanted to get over him, you would have to get rid of everything that reminded you of him. Which turned out to be harder than you had thought.

You grabbed an empty cardboard box from the garage and brought it back to your room. And then you got to work. You decided to start in your closet, digging through your clothes and finding everything that was Eddie’s. You found one of his leather jackets, his hellfire shirt, and a countless number of band shirts you had stolen during your many sleepovers. You folded all the clothes up and placed them in the box.

Then you turned your attention to your vanity. Stuck on your mirror was a photo booth strip from one of your first dates with Eddie. You smiled sadly as you gazed upon it, feeling both nostalgia and pain wash over you. You set it down, and you glanced over to the small box that sat upon your vanity. Pulling it open, you found numerous polaroids that you and Eddie had taken together. There were some from different dates you had gone on, candids you had sneakily taken of each other, photos from your sleepovers and the pillow forts you had made, and even a few dirty ones that Eddie had suggested the two of you take. Your stomach fluttered a bit when you saw them, but you pushed the feeling away.

You took all of the polaroids out of the box and picked up the photo booth strip again, tossing all the photos in the box on top of his clothes. You now found yourself standing in front of your dresser. A few framed photos of you and Eddie scattered the surface, and the sight of how happy you used to be only made your heart break even more. You turned the frames facedown and stacked them to one side of your dresser.

Your attention then turned to your jewelry stand that stood on your dresser. With shaky hands you reached for the guitar pick necklace Eddie had gifted you. He saw you admiring his own, so he made you a matching one. You used to wear that necklace everyday, but you had barely even touched it in the past few months. You picked it up, along with the locket Eddie had gifted you that had his initials on it and held a picture of the two of you inside. The bottom of your jewelry stand had a ring tray, but only one ring sat upon it. Eddie’s skull ring. You had loved to fiddle with his rings, so one day he slipped one off his hand and onto your own. Just thinking back to that moment had tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You grabbed the jewelry and picture frames, placing them both in the box.

You spent the next hour digging around in your room, finding everything that either belonged to Eddie or had a memory with him attached to it. You were about to put the lid on the box when you turned to look at your bed. On top of your pillow was the teddy bear Eddie had won you on your very first date. It was the fourth of July fair the town had thrown, and that night held some of the greatest memories you’ve ever had. You and Eddie had spent the whole night wandering around, playing games, going on rides, and stuffing yourselves full of junk food. He had even kissed you for the first time on top of the ferris wheel.

You picked up Mr. Snuggles and hugged him tightly one last time, before placing him in the box. You picked up the lid and admired the contents of the box one last time. His clothes, the jewelry, all the photos, every single love letter and note he had written you, every gift he had ever given you, and now, Mr. Snuggles. Sighing to yourself, you placed the lid on the box, and carried it out of your room. You had gone through all the trouble of packing everything up, you might as well go and give it to him.

When you stepped outside of your front door, you saw a package sitting by the doorstep. You placed the box you were holding back down inside your house and picked up the package. It was addressed to you, but there wasn’t a return address. Curious, you carried it back to your room and sat on your bed, opening it.

Your heart broke even more, if that was even possible, when you saw the contents of the box. It looked like Eddie had the same idea that you did, but he didn’t even have the decency to deliver it to you himself, he had decided to mail it.

You carefully pulled the contents of the box out, feeling memory after memory resurface. Most of the box contained your clothes, since you had a tendency to forget something every time you slept over. There was also your old hairbrush, a package of your makeup wipes, one of your old perfume bottles, and some of your makeup that you thought you had lost.

You thought that was everything, but something shined slightly along the edge of the box. You turned it around and saw the Metallica record you had gotten Eddie last year for Christmas. You waited all night outside a record store to get a signed copy for him. He was so happy when he saw you had gotten him a Metallica record, but he absolutely lost it when he saw that it was autographed. But the fact that he just gave it back to you? It made you feel like you had done all of that for nothing.

He had claimed it was his most prized possession, but yet he had given it back. And for some reason, that’s what confirmed it for you. That you and Eddie were really over. Part of you had always hoped that maybe he’d come back to you, having really changed. But that sliver of hope you had held on to was gone now. And the reality of it all finally sunk in. You and Eddie were over. For good. And nothing was ever going to change that.

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me

You can't get rid of it

'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah

You walked into Starcourt, feeling extremely excited. It was only a few days into November, but you were already doing some Christmas shopping. You had been brainstorming the perfect gifts for everyone for the past few months, taking note of anytime they said they wanted something. And now here you were, buying the perfect presents for your friends.

Giving people gifts was your absolute favorite part of the holiday. And so what if Christmas was well over a month away? You couldn’t bring yourself to wait any longer, not wanting to risk running out of time. You looked at all the stores surrounding you, trying to decide which one to enter first. You had a list of what you were going to get everyone in hand, and were trying to figure out which store you should go into first, when you saw him.

Eddie Munson.

You hadn’t seen him since your final breakup last summer, but here he was. Hanging out in the food court with Jeff and Gareth. You couldn’t help but stare for a minute, just overwhelmed with all the feelings of suddenly seeing him again. Gareth looked up and saw you, waving before turning his attention back to the conversation he was having with Eddie and Jeff.

You waved back and began to walk away, grateful Eddie didn’t turn around to see who his friend waved to, when you noticed something. Eddie was wearing a scarf. Which you thought was weird, considering he said he hated the feeling of them. You turned back to look at it once more, and you could almost swear that your heart stopped. The scarf he was wearing was yours. It was the one you had left at his house after getting snowed in. The two of you spent hours looking for it, but you never found it.

Now you finally realized why. He had kept it. He had held on to your scarf for two years. Even when you had broken up and returned each other's things, he kept your scarf. He had to have known it was yours, your grandmother had stitched your name into the corner.

You decided it was finally time to walk away, but the whole time you were shopping it never left your mind. Why did he still have your scarf? And why was he still wearing it? But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't think of any answer other than him missing you. You fought the urge to go find him, despite desperately wanting to. Talking to him again would only make things worse. And you couldn’t deal with losing him again.

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

Seeing Eddie with your scarf had left you shaken up for the rest of the day. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even when you got back to your room and collapsed on top of your bed, Eddie was still stuck in your mind. And even though you didn’t want to reminisce about it, your thoughts wandered back to the last conversation you had with Eddie.

“You didn’t show up! You promised me you would be there! I waited all night for you, and you never even called to apologize, or even explain!” you had screamed at him, tears streaming down your face.

It was the day after your 19th birthday, and Eddie decided that it would be a good idea to show up at your house, despite missing the event the day prior.

“God, how many times do I have to apologize! I said I was sorry!”

“But you don’t really mean it! You never do! You’re always late! To everything! But this time you didn’t even show up at all! And the only thing you have to say is sorry?”

“Well what else do you want from me?!”

“I don’t know, an explanation!”

Eddie sighed and shook his head. “No, I’m not dealing with this. The second I tell you, you’re gonna start attacking me all over again. It never ends with you!”

“Where were you?!” you asked him once more, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness bubble up within you.

“I was with Chrissy, alright?! She wanted some weed, so I sold her some. We got to talking, and before I knew it, I had missed your party. There! You happy?”

You froze as the words left his mouth. He missed your birthday party, the one he promised he would attend, because he was with Chrissy?! You could feel the anger within you rise, and you began to shout at him.

“You were with Chrissy?! Are you serious?! You missed my birthday because you were hanging with Chrissy?! God, Eddie! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Eddie went to say something, but you cut him off, wanting to get all of your thoughts out.

“I’ve dealt with this long enough. I’m done with the way you’ve been treating me! You never show up to my things, you never care about my feelings, and you just keep lying straight to my face! I’ve never missed any of your events, your birthdays, anything! I sat through every single Hellfire meeting because I wanted to make you happy! I did everything I could to make you happy! But it was never enough was it?

“All I’ve wanted is for you to be happy. And do you know why? Because I love you Eddie! I’ve loved you since you kissed me at the top of the ferris wheel, and I’ve been falling more and more in love with you every day! And despite all the bullshit you’ve put me through, you’ve never once said it back! Not once! Do you even know how that makes me feel?”

“How can you expect me to say I love you if I don’t?! You can’t just force your feelings onto me, and expect me to feel the same way!”

You paused, all your anger suddenly disappearing and being replaced with the most heartbreaking sadness you’ve ever felt

“You don’t love me?” you asked, your voice falling to barely above a whisper.

Eddie stayed silent, looking past you instead of meeting your eyes.

“Have you ever loved me?” you asked again.

But as the seconds went by and Eddie remained silent, you got your answer.

“Fine. Well I guess there’s no point being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same.”

“Are you seriously breaking up with me over this?” Eddie asked, scoffing slightly.

“Yeah. I guess I am.”

You brought your hands up to wipe the tears off of your face. Reliving the memory brought back all of the feelings along with it. You thought you were over it, over him. But you were wrong. He had left an imprint on you that was much deeper than you had thought it was. And there was a part of you that had begun to think that you might never truly get over him. You would just soon be able to live with the pain.

Wind in my hair, you were there

You remember it all

Down the stairs, you were there

You remember it all

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

Eddie laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. You were there. You were right there, and he didn’t even get to see you.

When he saw Gareth waving to someone from behind him, he went to turn around but Jeff told him not to. Once you had walked away, they told him that you were there. Eddie knew they were just trying to protect him, but he still wished that he could’ve seen you.

He just wanted to see you again, to apologize for everything. He had been such an asshole. A few months into your relationship, Eddie decided he wanted to try something harder than weed. He talked a big game to his customers, but he’d actually never done anything other than smoke. But unfortunately, once he started, he couldn’t get himself to stop.

The majority of the rest of your relationship was spent with him being high out of his mind. He didn’t want to tell you what he was really doing, so when he showed up late he tried to brush it off. And he had a tendency to be more defensive than usual when he was high, so anytime you confronted him, it turned into a fight.

He wanted to stop, truly he did. But it was just so hard. He had begun pulling away from you, figuring that keeping you at an arm’s length would be safer for the both of you. But he had only ended up hurting you in the process.

Chrissy knew about his problems, and had offered to help. She had gotten over bulimia, and while being “addicted” to vomiting wasn’t the same as a drug addiction, she wanted to try to help him anyways. Eddie had been trying to get clean for you before your birthday, but that night he had really bad withdrawal symptoms. He spent the whole night with Chrissy, struggling through them, only to have you dump him the next day, which made him relapse.

He never said “I love you” either, even though he did. He loved you so much. But he was just scared. Saying the words would make everything real, and if he fucked up something real it would only hurt him even more. Only now does he realize how fucked up it was to never say it back, especially after having been together for almost two years.

He had ruined everything, and all because he was scared. He was too scared to come to you for help. He was too scared to admit his feelings. And he was too scared to tell you the truth. But none of that mattered anyways. It was too late now. And you were gone, for good.

And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punch line goes

"I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age"

From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones

I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

Only a few days after you saw Eddie at the mall, you saw him again. This time he was just walking past you on the sidewalk. But he wasn’t alone. Chrissy was walking right beside him, and the sight of them together broke your heart.

You had alway thought that maybe he had been cheating on you with her. And who would even blame him? Chrissy was so much prettier than you were. She was well liked, confident, and gorgeous. She was cheer captain in high school for crying out loud. Of course Eddie would rather be with her than with you.

Hurriedly, you walked past them, not wanting to witness the two of them together anymore. You had walked away so fast you hadn’t noticed that Eddie was still wearing your scarf. Or that he looked so happy to just see you. You hadn’t noticed the hopeful look that crossed Chrissy’s face when she saw you walking towards them. She grabbed Eddie’s arm and was trying to convince him to talk to you, when you blew right past them.

Eddie’s face fell as he turned around and watched you walk away. He didn’t even want another chance. He just wanted to apologize. He wanted to explain himself. He was almost two weeks clean, which was a new record for him, and was finally feeling ready to talk to you about it. But you were already gone.

“It’s alright Eddie, you’ll get another chance,” Chrissy said, trying to be positive.

Chrissy’s optimism was one of the things that really helped him overcome his addiction. No matter how many times he messed up and relapsed, she never gave up hope in him. But now her optimism was only bringing him down. Would he get another chance to talk to you? Would you even let him talk to you? What would he even say? He had so much to apologize for, he didn’t even know where to begin. But from the way things were looking, now he might never even get the chance.

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too?

Eddie sat on his bedroom floor, his back pressed against the wall as he clutched your scarf in his hands. He held it close to him as tears began to fall down his face. The way you had looked at him earlier that day, that mix of sadness and betrayal, it wouldn’t leave his mind. All he could see was the pain on your face. And it hurt him even more to know he was the one who caused that.

He missed you so much. So much so that it physically hurt him. Some nights he couldn’t even sleep in his bed because it made him think of you. You had made so many memories with him inside his bedroom walls, and everytime he stepped foot into his room, he remembered them all.

The time he had tried to teach you how to play guitar, but you had made no progress since the both of you couldn’t stop laughing. The first time you had made a pillow fort on this bed, and the second time, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth. Countless mornings spent tangled together, just soaking up each other’s presence. And all the intimate moments you had shared on this very bed. He remembered all of it. Everywhere he looked brought up a different memory of you. He couldn’t escape it, and despite how much it hurt, he didn’t want to. He was grateful for the memories, because even though you were gone, he could still relive all the happy moments he had with you, even if it was only in his head.

All he wanted was another chance. But he knew he could never put you through that. He had already hurt you so much, and he didn’t want to risk doing it again. Even if he was clean now, he knew getting back with you was a bad idea. He didn’t want to risk relapsing and hurting you again, and he didn’t want to have to drag you back into the mess he called his life.

So he would just have to learn how to live without you. Even though he knew it wouldn’t be possible. He could survive without you, sure. But he would never be able to live. Not when you were the only person who ever truly made him feel alive.

'Cause in this city's barren cold

I still remember the first fall of snow

And how it glistened as it fell

I remember it all too well

You sat on your bed, staring out of your window and watching as the snow fell to the ground. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to the time you and Eddie spent all day outside in the snow before getting snowed in at his trailer. That was still one of the best days of your life.

You taught him how to ice skate, and even though he was still horrible at it by the end of your lessons, he was at least falling over a lot less. You had decided that you wanted to make a snowman, and you had challenged Eddie to a snowman building contest. But just as you were about to finish your snowman, a snowball hit your back.

You turned around to find Eddie facing the other direction, attempting to look busy, but you saw right through him. You quickly made a snowball and chucked it at him. You had both forgotten about the snowmen you were building, and ended up having the most epic snowball fight of your life. And you had won of course. He claimed that he let you win, but you knew the truth.

When you laid on the ground to make a snow angel, the snow soon began to fall harder, and the wind picked up. You and Eddie grabbed your things and took off running for his trailer, not wanting to get caught outside in the snowstorm. After you finally got back, and changed into some of his pajamas, Eddie handed you some hot cocoa and then you spent the rest of the night watching movies, cuddled together on the couch, until you both fell asleep.

Even now, two years later, every time you saw snow you couldn’t help but think of that day. Looking back on the memory, you felt yourself smiling. Maybe your relationship with Eddie wasn’t all bad.

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well?

Just between us, do you remember it all too well?

Just between us, I remember it all too well

“Ok, so you don’t want to talk to them?” Chrissy asked, looking at Eddie from across the picnic table.

Eddie nodded.

“But you still want to apologize?”

“Yep,” Eddie replied.

He was beginning to feel hopeless. He knew you would never talk to him again, but he still wanted to apologize. He felt like he owed it to you. A proper apology for all the bullshit that he put you through. But he had no idea where to start. So he called Chrissy and asked her to meet him at the picnic table in the woods.

They spent the first half an hour just trying to figure out what he should say, when he said that doing it face to face wouldn’t be the best idea.

“Hmm,” Chrissy thought, tapping her figure against her chin. “What about calling them?”

“It’s the same thing. They’d hang up before I could even get two words out. This is hopeless!”

Eddie sighed, and put his head down on his arms which were folded up on the table. Chrissy stayed silent for a minute, pondering another way he could apologize and actually get you to hear him out.

“Not necessarily. I think I have an idea! Come on!” Chrissy stood up and walked to the other side of the table, pulling Eddie up as well.

“Where are we going?” he grumbled, following her as she dragged him through the woods.

“Back to your trailer. I think I finally figured something out!”

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well

“Do you really think it’s gonna work?” Eddie asked, looking up at Chrissy who was standing beside him.

Eddie sat at the kitchen table, his notebook open in front of him, and holding a pen in his hand. Chrissy had suggested that he write you a letter. That way he could say everything he wanted to say, and if he didn’t sign it until the end, then hopefully you would read it instead of throwing it away immediately.

“Yeah, I do! And besides, what’s the worst that could happen? They don’t read it? Then we try something else! They deserve an apology, and I know you really want to give one to them. I’m not going to give up that easily, and I’m not going to let you either!”

Eddie smiled at Chrissy’s words. It had been a while since he’d had a friend this dedicated to helping him. Sure he had Jeff and Gareth, but when he told them about having been dumped by you for the final time, they just said that it sucked and that they’d help him move on. Which sure, that was nice and all, but Chrissy wanted to help him make things right. And that meant so much to him.

So he began to write. First he just wrote down everything he needed to apologize for, wanting to make sure that he didn’t forget to include anything in his letter. By the time he had finished, the list was very long. But he didn’t want to leave anything out. He wanted to apologize for all of it. Then he began to draft. He had written ten letters already, deciding that each one wasn’t good enough.

“It’s ok. You got this Eddie,” Chrissy reassured him.

Eddie flipped to the next blank page and began writing once more. He made sure he apologized for everything that he needed to, but he didn’t stop there. He came clean about everything. About his struggles, his feelings, and why he had begun to pull away from you. He knew he didn’t deserve another chance with you, but he still wanted you to know how he really felt.

When he had finally finished, the letter was almost three pages front and back. It was a lot longer than he had expected it to be, but that didn’t matter. He had said everything he needed to say and then some. Now he just hoped that you’d read it.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it

Eddie and Chrissy walked to your house, which wasn’t that far from the trailer park. Memories of the last time Eddie had been there played in the back of his mind. He could feel his heart pounding as he got closer to your front door. Chrissy stayed at the end of your driveway, wanting to let Eddie do this by himself.

His hands were shaking as he arrived in front of your door. Anxiously, he turned around to look at Chrissy, who nodded encouragingly, and gave him a thumbs up. Eddie took a deep breath in as he turned to face your front door once more. He placed the letter on the ground right in front of the door, and then he rang the bell. He quickly ran back down the driveway, and he and Chrissy hid behind a car that was parked on the side of the road, watching the front door and hoping that you would get the letter.

Only a few moments later, your front door opened to reveal you standing behind it. You looked around outside, a bit confused, before your gaze fell to the letter on the ground. You picked it up and saw your name written on the envelope. There wasn’t any address or stamp, so you figured that whoever had written this had hand delivered it.

You went back inside, letter in your hand, and walked towards your bedroom. After sitting down on your bed, you stared at the envelope in your hands for a good few minutes. Something about the whole thing seemed strange to you. Like whoever had written you this letter had deemed it so important, that not even the post office could be trusted with it.

You had half a mind to throw it out, not wanting to bother reading a letter from some stranger. But your curiosity got the better of you, and you pulled the letter out. You unfolded it and saw that it was three pages long.

Before you could even read it, you recognized the handwriting. It was Eddie’s. You felt like you should’ve just thrown it out, not wanting to bother hearing anything that he had to say. But that fact that the letter was both hand written and hand delivered made you realize that it might actually be important. So you began reading.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it

Dear y/n,

I know sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it. Especially after everything that I’ve done to you. To us. But I just had to apologize. For everything. Or at least everything that I can remember. I’m sure that there’s more that I don’t, but I’m sorry for all of that too.

I’m sorry for being late all the time. I’m sorry for not showing up to any of your things, but still expecting you to show up to mine. I’m sorry for all the times that I’ve lied, and all the times that I’ve made you feel crazy because of that. I’m sorry for leaving you alone at parties, without giving you the real reasons why. I’m sorry for pulling away from you, emotionally and physically. I’m sorry for all the fights. I’m sorry for all the times that I’ve made you cry. I’m sorry for every single time that I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry for never telling you the truth. And I’m sorry for never saying I love you.

That’s my biggest regret. Never getting to tell you how I truly felt, because I was just too scared to say it. But I do love you y/n. I love you more than anything or anyone in this world. I love you so much it scares me. That’s why I never said it back. I was scared that if I said how I felt, then you would suddenly wake up and realize you didn’t want me anymore. And I knew that saying how I felt would only make it hurt that much more if we broke up. Well look where that got me, huh?

And I’m sorry for never telling you why I was acting the way I was. I was too scared to go to you for help, so I went to Chrissy instead. That’s why I left you alone at that party when I followed her off, and that’s why I missed your birthday party. The truth is, I was struggling. A few months after we started dating, I started doing more than just weed. And I got addicted. It was really bad. I didn’t realize it then, but being high all the time turned me into such an asshole. And you didn’t deserve that.

I tried to get clean before your birthday, but the night off I was going through horrible withdrawal symptoms. Chrissy came over and helped me. And I went over to your place to apologize the next day, but I was too scared to tell you the truth. And then you ended things. I relapsed again after that, but then I realized that it would never make me feel better. Drugs are what ruined everything in the first place.

I finally got clean after that. And I haven’t relapsed since. I wanted to apologize to you when you were walking past Chrissy and I, but you walked off so fast. And I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to talk to me either.

This was the only way that I could think of to apologize without you running away. Well technically Chrissy thought of it, but I wrote the letter so that has to count for something!

I’m not asking you for another chance. I don’t deserve that. And you definitely don’t deserve having to put up with my shit again. I just needed to apologize. For everything. I know I hurt you so many times, and that’s one of my biggest regrets. I never wanted to hurt you. But I did, and know I have to live with that. But I just hope that this makes things better. Even if you never want to talk to me again, that’s fine. I just need you to know how sorry I truly am.

I hope you have a great life, y/n. I hope you find someone who loves you, and treats you better than I ever did. I hope that you find real happiness, and that no one ever hurts you like I did. Because you deserve so much better than that. You deserve the world and more! And I hope you find someone who can give it to you.

I’ll always love you, y/n. I always have and I always will.

Love, Eddie

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well

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