#i’m so devastated for such. selfish reasons

[heybaetae]

.

[charliemwrites]

…. So Mister(s) steal your girl, huh?

Bombshells, you always thought, were supposed to making a whistling sound before landing. A high pitched warning of impending doom. Too late to escape the incoming devastation, but at least it wouldn’t come out of nowhere. There’d be some time to brace, for all the good it would do.

Maybe you watched too many movies.

Three months. That’s how long you got to enjoy the bliss of engagement before the world began to fall around you.

Your fiance came home and sat you down, his hand around yours. You thought he was breaking it off for some reason. What he did instead was worse.

In the aftermath you can only remember snippets of the one-sided conversation. Like tinnitus, an awful running in your ears left over from a dropped bomb.

Things like,

Still young, I want to explore…

How will I know you’re my forever unless I know what’s out there?

Last bit of freedom before being tied down…

If you love me and our relationship…

You love your fiance and your relationship. You don’t want to lose it just because you’re selfish. He’s still coming home to you, after all. You’re the one with the ring and all the plans for the future. So what if he wants to… explore? He’s even offering the same to you.

An open relationship, he calls it, like it’s some innovative idea.

You’ve heard of them before, never had much interest. Still don’t, honestly, but it was that or the desolution of 4 years.

You insisted on a long engagement. Your fiance promises that you two can revisit the open relationship when you’re married.

Within a week of agreeing, he’s leaves for the weekend. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going, who he’s meeting. He comes back Sunday evening smelling like someone else’s perfume with a hickey on his collarbone. When you refuse any advances, he sighs and says he “understands that this is a transition” and goes to shower.

It’s like that for six months. Weekends without him. Sometimes sending him off Friday morning and not seeing him until Monday evening. Lipstick on his collars, strange perfume invading the laundry. You start doing his clothes separately.

Six months. You spend months suffering in silence, sniffling through Saturdays and drifting through Sundays. Adjusting meal plans to cook for one.

The last straw is when you try to make plans on a holiday. You and your fiance haven’t done on a proper date in months. You want to go out, have all his attention on you, not shared with his phone.

“Ooh, sorry dear, I’ve already got plans with Malorie. Rain check, yeah? We’ll do something next week.”

You decide to go out anyway, sick of feeling sorry for yourself. Nothing fancy, just a bit of self care. You buy yourself a cute new outfit, put on a bit more makeup than usual, do your hair. Find an interesting little late night book shop. They serve wine and food and have comfy booths for people to read or talk or play board games.

The perfect place to be out but alone.

You’re debating the merits of a romance novel when a voice comes from your left.

“Love that one.”

You blink, glance up. Find a handsome man with eyes simultaneously so dark and so warm. Coals, you think. There’s a cheeky little quirk to his mouth as he nods at the novel.

“It’s good if you like will-they, won’t-they.”

You hum. “I’m more in the market for something… easier? If that makes sense.”

He hums, gives you a solemn look. “It does. Here, you might like this then.”

He plucks a book off the shelf and offers it for inspection. You feel awkward reading it the summary thoroughly, especially when you can feel his eyes on you. But you skim it, it looks promising, and a hot guy just suggested it, so…

“Read a lot of romance?” you ask curiously.

He ducks his head a bit, endearingly shy. “A bit, yeah. Call me hopeless.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, but can’t help saying. “I think it’s just romantic.”

His eyes light up. “Yeah? And what kind of books d’you usually like?”

Before you know it, you’re talking thrillers and horror novels with him. Recommending your favorite spooky novel and then following up that you always read a comedy afterwards as a palette cleanser.

You end up touring each other around the shop, talking books and authors and genres. Yet you’re somehow surprised when he asks if you’d like to sit with him. But you agree, a little thrill in your stomach that you haven’t felt since… a while.

You each buy a stack of books, then claim a booth and proceed to read none of them. He tells you his name is Kyle, that he’s in the military but on leave right now, stocking up on entertainment for flights or long spans of hurrying up and waiting.

You’ve never met a military guy before, and you trip over your curiosity. Trying not to pry but interested in what he does. He’s polite and patient, admitting there are a lot of things he can’t tell you but he’ll answer. You don’t stay on the subject long, figuring the last thing he wants to talk about it work.

He gets you back in the department of uncomfortable topics when he notices the ring on your finger. You’re quick to explain the situation, hot with shame all over again, eyes stinging despite yourself.

Instead of mocking you or just getting up and walking away, Kyle sits back looking flabbergasted.

“That’s fucking mental,” he says, “excuse me for saying.”

You burst into laughter. Haven’t told anyone any of this out of embarrassment, but hearing someone on your side is… good.

“I thought so too, but… he’s happy,” you admit.

Kyle frowns. “What about you?”

You blink, can’t look him in the eye. You know the answer but make a show of thinking about it.

“I’d… like to be again. This — the open relationship thing — seems to be working for him. So… maybe it’ll work for me too?” You shrug. “Worth a try.”

Kyle reaches across the table, a big warm hand enveloping yours. There are callouses you’re not expecting. Tantalizingly different.

“Would you like to try it with me?” he asks. “Don’t have to put a label on it or anything. But my schedule is a bit… it’s hard to keep up a traditional relationship, you know? But I like you, and I think your fiance is a knob.”

You snort, but flip your hand around, thumb brushing over his.

“Yeah…” you muse, and after saying it, a surge of confidence infuses you. “Yeah, I’d like to try this with you.”

His smile is absolutely brilliant. You won’t admit — not even to yourself for a long time — but you fall in love a little right then and there.

[ghosts-bandwagon]

Headcanon with TF141 & König with Fem! Reader who had amnesia after loss blood from battlefield and how would the mens react. Pls!

Oof ouchie owie my heart 😭 this is so mean I love it 😭😭😭😭 (I’m not crying YOU’RE crying)

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:

When the nurse told him you suffered amnesia due to the severity of your injuries, he didn’t want to believe it. He refused. Even though they told him it could last a few minutes to several weeks or months, he didn’t want to believe it.

So he went to visit you, sat beside your bed, balaclava twisting nervously in his hands as he watched you sleep. He eventually dozed off, arms crossed over his chest, head resting back against the wall. He woke up to a soft prodding at his shoulder,

“Excuse me, are you the nurse?” You’d asked, throat hoarse and exhaustion evident.

“Who do you think I am?” He asked, his heart beat so hard in his throat, his stomach churning and heavy, he felt violently ill

“I… don’t know to be honest. I’m not sure why or how I got here.” Your voice was small and uncertain and fuck he wanted to cry. His eyes burned and his throat threatened to shut.

What should he do? Tell you what happened and risk further trauma? He’s the reason you were out here in the first place. What’s the right thing to do? What would you do in his position?

“Sir? I’m sorry, I’m just really thirsty. I’m sorry to bug you.”

“Don’t sweat it, here, have my water.” He uncapped his water bottle and got up to bring it to your lips, you took it from his hands before he could tip it back,

“I’ve got it, thank you.” You said with a weak chuckle. At least that’s still the same. He watched you drink your water, weighing his options in his head. If the roles were reversed, you’d be honest with him. Gentle, but firm. Even if it pained you, you’d tell him the truth.

“I’m sorry, have we met before?”

He was a both a coward and glutton for pain.

“You can call me Ghost, for now.”

He still wasn’t sure if he’d tell you about all the nights spent together, all the mornings you had breakfast in the mess hall together, your apartment that you shared, the tattoo he has under his collarbone of your callsign or the matching one you got of a skull on your hip. This could be his chance to spare you the pain of sticking around him any longer.

But he’s selfish, in that sense. He’s had you, he can’t lose you now.

John ‘Soap’ MacTavish:

He’s devastated. He’s absolutely heartbroken, there’s no way this is happening. He’s convinced it’s not real. It’s a bad dream and he’ll wake up in your arms and it’ll be gone. How he wishes that was true.

He comes into your room, the nurses words echoing in his head, triggering his tinnitus, making him nauseous. His legs are horribly unsteady and his hands have never shook this hard. He feels like such a fool for being so fucking weak in front of you like this.

This isn’t about him, it’s about you. It’s all about you, it’s about setting things right with you, it’s about bringing you back to him. It’s all about you.

He sat beside your bed and waited for you to wake up, and when you did you smiled so wide when you looked at him, that he honestly believed the nurses were wrong

“This might be wildly inappropriate, but you have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

God how he wished the nurses were wrong.

“Could say the same for you, love.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and stamped out the ache in his chest

“Love?” You blinked in confusion, “are you my- oh god, I’m sorry, I… I don’t remember.”

“It’s alright, the nurses said it could happen. You’ve been through a lot.”

“If I’m here then, yeah, seems like.” You chuckled dryly,

“I’m Johnny.” He held his hand out to yours, you took it and couldn’t help how soothing his palm felt against yours as you introduced yourself shyly.

He could be strong. For you. He’d do anything for you, whether you wound up remembering or not, it didn’t matter. He’d do anything.

John Price:

He’s shell shocked. Please god no. Not you. Please sweet fucking Christ, not you. He doesn’t go to see you right away, he sits in his office quietly. He’s sitting in the dark, replaying the events that led up to this over and over in his head like a fucked movie on loop.

He snaps. He’s flinging everything off his desk, it’s all flying to the floor, he’s screaming, crying, raging. The team hears it and they all run to his office, Ghost is the only one to successfully hold him back. He eventually gives up and starts sobbing. Perception be damned.

He’s clutching onto Simon like his life depends on it, Soap and Gaz quietly start picking stuff up off the floor,

“Come on, mate, she needs you. Clean up and go.” He’s not stupid. He’s seen you two, seen the way you are with one another. It’s the best kept secret of the 141.

“I know. Fuck, I know.”

He hesitantly walks to your room, his heart pounding a mile a minute, he hears you talking to the nurse and you sound a little hoarse but it also sounds like you’re drinking water. He waits until you’re done talking and walks in, he steps aside to let the nurse walk out and sits beside you,

“How’re you feelin’?”

“Not great but the pain meds help.” You laughed weakly, “and you must be?”

“John.”

“John…?”

“Just John.” He sighed, slowly taking one of your small hands in his, giving you every opportunity to withdraw, “Your John.”

He’s a patient man. He can wait.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick:

He’s in tears before the nurse even has a chance to walk away, Price has a hand on his shoulder, squeezing in an attempt to keep him grounded

“None of that, Gaz, just go see her. Somewhere in her heart, she’ll be happy to see you.” His words were reassuring and it helped give him the boost he needed to go and see you.

So he did, with an arm full of flowers, your favorite snack and candies, and fruits of course. He came in and set them down at the table quietly, watching you watch him as he did so. He took a deep shaky breath and pulled the chair up to the bed.

“Is that all for me?” You asked with a shy smile, even under the unflattering glow of the fluorescent lights above you, you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen,

“Yup. I thought if I’d brought you the things you like, it might help you recover your memory.” He swallowed his tears, swallowed the lump in the throat, he’d set it all aside because there’s work to be done.

“I take it you and I are quite close then?”

“As close as two people can get, without being related.”

“Hm. That makes me happy, you seem really sweet…?”

“Kyle. Or Gaz. But you’ve always called me by my name.”

His heart skipped a beat when you tried his name out, getting a feel for it on your tongue, and then you smiled softly at him.

It’ll be hard work but fuck you’re so worth it.

König:

He feels violently ill. He’s nauseous through and through, he’s in shock, he’s grieving, he’s mourning, he’s furious, he’s appalled, he’s miserable

It’s all playing over and over and over and over again, the exact moments that led up to this. You trusted him and let you down. He fucking let you down. He ruined it. He ruined the one good thing he had going for him in this shithole. It’s gone it’s all fucking gone. And it’s all his fault.

All of that was repeating in his head as he punched a hole in the tile in the bathrooms, it repeated when he’d try to sleep until you woke up, it repeated while he’d wait for you, it repeated until there was nothing but self-inflicted venom pumping in his system, circulating mercilessly

And then you woke up. He’d at least had the presence of mind to take his veil off so he wouldn’t startle you, but in his vitriol he forgot something,

“You’ve got a little something on your uh… all of that.” You sleepily laughed, pointing at your eyes,

“Ah yes, that’s intentional.”

“Why?” You blinked in confusion, weakly trying to rub the sleep out of your eyes,

“Helps keep me concealed when I wear this.” He lifted the veil in his hands for you to see,

“I imagine it’s hard to do with your size.”

“It can be but I’m quite determined.”

“You seem upset, I take it you and I are close and the nurses told you?”

He gently took your small hand in his, his eyes watering, lower lip starting to quiver,

“Oh schatz, you have no idea.” His voice shook and your heart broke for him, his accent brought you peace even if you couldn’t exactly remember why, you could still put the pieces together. You don’t know why, but you wanted to be strong for him,

“Then give me an idea.”

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。PRETTY — ISAGI YOICHI.

✩ — contents ⋮ minors do not interact, all characters are aged up as 20+ at least, fem! reader, mentions of cunnilingus, thigh fucking, teasing, implied unprotected sex, reader asks him to cum in her, body + thigh worship wif the bby :(

✩ — note ⋮ not proofread bc i’m lazy and it’s 2 am. isagi canonically being a thigh guy is so cute sobsob :(

isagi likes your legs—more specifically, your cute little thighs. he loves them, actually. he loves laying on them after a long day of practice, feeling your fingers thread through his hair as he gives you a sleepy grin. he loves the way his hand fits so perfectly over them while he drives, content with the way your finger traces shapes into his knuckles.

isagi loves your thighs—because he loves every part of you, and this is one of those breathtaking little perks. but he also loves them for not so innocent reasons.

he loves sinking between them, loves the pressure of them squeezing around his head when he’s buried nose deep into your cunt, lapping away at your juices while his tongue flicks over your sensitive clit. the way they look marked up after he’s done with them is a thrilling sight, enough to make his cock jump back to life for what he promises is just one more round, baby—yet, no matter how many times he says this is the last, it never really is.

so now, as he hovers over you, eyes wide and a little dazed as he stares down at your plush thighs and the skin he cherishes so much, he can’t help but plead for one more thing.

“baby,” he pants, cock throbbing between his legs, painfully red and hard, painfully aching to feel you. you can’t take your eyes away from him, can’t help but trace over his crimson face and damp hair, his flushed tip and that small bead of pre cum that leaks from his slit, practically begging to be swiped away by your thumb. “baby, i wanna try something,” he mumbles.

“what?” you ask, voice breathy and so needy, he almost feels selfish for what he’s about to ask.

“fuck—just gotta try it, ‘kay, pretty? just once,” he babbles, grabbing your thighs with his large hands, pressing them together.

he’s patient—you have to give him that for someone who’s voice is shaky with desperation. he’s slow as he drags his tip along your right leg, grazing the skin and leaving a streak of pre cum along his wake. he moans—whimpers at the slight friction, bites his lips and has that absolutely beautiful look of devastation on his face.

he’s pretty—downright gorgeous, actually, and you don’t mind the blossoming ache between your legs or that heavy feeling on your clit as you long to feel him buried into you. no, instead, you’re excited by the tantalizingly slow way he teases himself, prepared to let him use you for his own pleasure.

“‘s okay, yoichi,” you murmur, cupping his cheek, letting his lean his face into your palm as he groans softly at the way your touch lights him up. “go ahead.”

and that’s all he needs—it’s all it takes for his swollen tip to bully past your thighs, to fuck into them as he gasps and stares down at the way his cock disappears and reappears with every slow thrust. your skin glistens with what he’s sure is a mix of both of your arousals—your slick mixing with his pre cum and lubricating his thick girth as it glides between your legs.

it’s tight—and then it’s tighter as you press your thighs together more for him, making him groan as his arms shake while he holds himself over your frame. his face is slack, painted with bright hues of pleasure as they blend into his clenched jaw and crinkled eyes. he looks good—and you can tell he feels good too with the way he praises you.

“fuck, fuck—feels so good, so perfect,” he whines, “love you, love these thighs—love how perfect you were made for me.”

isagi yoichi thanks whatever divine being sculpted you. he thanks whoever carefully crafted you in all the right places, thanks the diligent hands that made you just for him. you were made for him—he’ll walk through hell and back if he has to prove that, but every square inch of you was made to fit under him, to be grazed by his hands, to be admired by his eyes in ways no one else can hope.

isagi loves your thighs—and he loves the way you let him show you how much he loves them too.

“yoichi,” you gasp, hand finding his hair and tugging a little as you feel the light pressure of his cock sliding against your clit. it’s not enough to make you cum, but it is enough to make you gift him those precious sounds of yours, drawing them out and bringing him closer to the edge with every airy whimper and every breathy gasp.

“so close, baby,” he chokes, “s-so, so close—‘n then ‘m gonna take care of you, ‘kay? make you feel so good,” he promises, “jus’…jus’ gimme a minute.”

a minute is generous—because isagi doesn’t even last another thirty seconds before he’s spilling between your legs, gasping and whining into your neck as he shudders over your body. you hold his body close, kiss the side of his head and murmur sweet praises into his ear and he brokenly calls your name. his hips snap into you, riding out his orgasm as the blunt head of his cock nudges between your legs, as his balls clap against the fat of your thigh while hot and sticky ropes of cum coat your skin.

it’s beautiful—you’re beautiful, the only canvas he ever wants to touch if it turns out looking like this every time. he forces his face from your neck and watches the last few streams of cum leak from between your legs, watches as his cum-coated cock is still so painfully hard even after you’ve so graciously given him his wildest fantasies.

and then you whine, sniffling as you look up at him with those watery doe eyes and that sweet, sweet little pout on your lips—one he can never resist. “wanna feel you, yoichi. please? please, wan’ you to fill me up, yeah?”

“fuck, okay,” he nods slowly, “o-okay, yeah. yeah, anything for you,” he stutters.

and with shaky hands, with tranced eyes, he separates your legs, watches his cum drip down the inside of your thighs and glisten along your skin, and he can’t find any self control as his tip is already tapping against your clit, sliding up and down along your drenched slit before slowly sinking into your neglected cunt.

“fuck me like you mean it, yoichi,” you demand, “like ‘m pretty.”

“sh-shit,” he pants, cock sliding into your pussy like that was made for him to fit into as well, “‘m gonna show you how pretty you are, yeah? so fuckin’ pretty—gonna prove it all night.”

i’m normal about him ‼️

[ellana-ravenwood]

You idiot ! - Batfam x fem!reader

Synopsis : It is rare, for you to be genuinely mad at your family. Extremely rare. But when they put their life in danger to save yours, you cannot help but give them a good ol’ scolding. 

Bonus story. I’m planning on writing and posting another one before I go on my honeymoon next Saturday, this is just something short I suddenly wanted to write. A few snippets of “that time your husband/kids put themselves in great danger to save you”, and I hope you’ll like it : 

Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.

My masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives​

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                                           ************

Bruce

“YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT !!” is not what Bruce expected to hear from you, after he just saved your life. 

And yet here you were, punching at his chest, tears in your eyes, mad as hell. 

“How dare ?! How dare you throw your life away like that ? Did you stop a minute to think about how I’d feel ? Do you think I want to watch you die for me ?? You idiot, you damn freaking IDIOT !!” 

Each words were punctuated by a punch to his chest, expressing your frustration to its fullest. 

You couldn’t help it. Your emotions entirely took control. There was no “trying to calm down”, because-because-if you had lost him...

How dare. How dare he ?! 

“You don’t just jump in front of me like that, you idiot ! What if the bullet had touched you more badly ?? What if you had died ? There ? Right in front of me ?”

Bruce didn’t know what to say. He reacted before he could think. He saw you in danger, about to be shot by that thug, and jumped in front of you, shielding you with his body. 

Fortunately, the thug missed, and only grazed Bruce’s shoulder. It didn’t take him long to take care of the criminal, and coming to check on you. 

You were silent, at first. Clearly shocked. And he understood, you almost died. You were in grave danger. It would’ve shaken anyone. 

Except...Except that wasn’t the reason you were mad at him. Oh no. The reason you were mad, was exactly because he saved you. Or rather, the way he saved you. 

How selfish, to sacrifice his life to save yours. Because if he was gone...if he was gone...

You didn’t want to live in a World without him in it. Not anymore. And yes, you understood why he jumped in to save you, regardless of his safety. But it didn’t make you any less mad at him. 

“What were you thinking, shielding me like that ?? What if I had felt you die in my arm ? What if I- What if I-that would’ve been horrible...”

To be honest, Bruce didn’t think of the aftermath of it all. He gladly jumped in front of you so you could survive, and didn’t think further than that. 

But now that he had time to think, he realized : yes. How horrible it would be, to be the reason the love of your life died. 

Bruce couldn’t even imagine it. He already felt so guilty about his parents’ death, even if he now knew he wasn’t to blame. So if he was the reason you would die ? 

His arms closed themselves around your frame, holding you close to his chest, where his heart was beating (so you would know he was still here, with you). You resisted a bit, at first, still telling him how much of an “idiot” he was, but then you yielded and fell into his embrace. 

Bruce hadn’t realized, in the moment, that his action of saving you could’ve devastated you. 

“How could I ever heal, knowing I’m the cause of your death ?” You whispered, exhausted now. Crying was tiring. 

He held you, close, and didn’t let go up until you finally calmed down. 

To him, your anger was justified. Because if the situation was reversed, he would’ve never forgiven you for leaving him all alone.

He knew for a fact, that he couldn’t stand back up after losing you. He would continue on living, yes, but as a shell of a human being. Carrying out his “justice” mission, soulless, mechanical, shut away from all feelings. 

Without you, he would never be whole again. He knew that. And yet, he almost did that to you. Because he couldn’t bear to live without you, he almost died himself to save you ? 

He understood your anger. He did. Because he knew the depth of his own love for you, he knew how precious your life was for him. He knew you were the love of his life. That’s why he was holding onto you so dearly now, why he apologized, as you weeped in his arms. Crying from relief, and from the very idea that he could be ripped away from you, just like that. Right in front of you. 

Yes. Bruce knew why you reacted that way. Knew how you felt, and knew his own feelings were even grander. And that’s why-

That’s why he couldn’t promise that he would never do it again. 

Dick 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING !!??” 

Dick was stunned. This was the first time you ever yelled at him. Not even when he had his fit of anger, when he was almost mean to you because of his pain, or when he did some bad things, did you ever get mad at him. 

He wasn’t used to it. He always took the fact that you were nice, gentle, and that you’d bear any of his bad mood, that he was truly and utterly stunned. 

“How could you be so reckless ? Richard, how could you do this ?!” 

You called him “Richard”. You never called him “Richard” before. It was yet another proof, that you were truly mad at him. 

Dick Grayson, recently adopted into the Wayne family. Officialy yours and Bruce’s son. 9 years old. Not supposed to be on patrol yet. Still jumped head first into danger when he saw your life was at risk. 

It was one of those boring galas he hated. Everything went by so quickly. Armed men entered, and you immediately were a prime target. 

Things got out of hand too fast, and you were about to be shot when-

Dick swung from a low hanging chandelier, and kicked the man with the gun, almost getting shot himself in the process. After that, Bruce came to the rescue, later saying something like : “I took jujitsu in high school” to explain how fast he got rid of the bandits (interesting, how gothamites would just drink his every words without ever suspecting him to be Batman...What, elegant, delicate, warm, extroverted and handsome Bruce Wayne ? Being the Batman ? Inconceivable !). 

Everyone praised your little one for his braveness. Everyone...but you. 

Thankfully, people quickly shifted away, attracted to your husband like bees to a fresh flower. He did it on purpose, of course. Got their attention on him, like he was so skilled to do, so you could have your moment with your son. 

He knew it was coming. 

When he saw little Dickie jump in there, his heart stopped. He was near you fast, but not fast enough to stop his son. Bruce saw his life flash before his eyes, fearing he would see his little kid get badly hurt, or worst. 

But the boy was not to be underestimated, and he did indeed take his training seriously. Still. He was really afraid. Now, he managed to release his fear by beating those guys who dared threaten his family. But you ? Oh boy, you- 

“What were you thinking Dick ? Mmm ? You could’ve been seriously hurt ! Don’t ever do that again !” 

You were holding him by the shoulders, to make sure he was looking at you in the eye. And you were mad, oh so mad. He wasn’t used to it. 

“But I- I don’t want to- I can’t-I...I can’t lose another family.”

He managed to say, before...

Before bursting into tears. 

And that stopped your rant right away.  

You froze, his tears making you feel distressed. What were you doing ? Yelling at your son like that ? 

It was wrong. Of course, your feelings poured out all at once after you got so scared for your baby’s life, but it was still wrong. 

Dick was only 9 years old. He saw you were in danger, and he jumped in. 

He already witnessed once his family dying in front of his eyes, without him being able to do anything...Of course, he wouldn’t let it happen twice. 

He was crying heavy tears now, trying to tell you, to explain to you he couldn’t bear to lose another family. He couldn’t. 

He uttered a few words, there and there, talking about how he didn’t want to, couldn’t, lose you, and it broke your heart. 

How dare you, scream at such a small boy ?

You quickly took him into your arms, and he held onto you for dear life, burying his face into your shoulder. You picked him up, as Bruce shifted the crowd away from you two. You saw the worry in his eyes as he saw you walking away with Dick in your arms. Was the boy hurt ? 

Only you, could’ve discern his worry. With your own eyes, you reassured him. Your son was fine. But he needed his parents. 

He needed to know neither you, nor Bruce, were going anywhere. 

You rushed outside, before anyone could notice your crying son, protecting him in your arms (oh, the memories of how tiny Dicky used to be, he had a sudden growth spurt only around 16 !). Bruce quickly followed, and Alfred, as usual, was ready to leave before Bruce even shut his door. 

You went home, and didn’t leave Dick’s side up until he finally fell asleep. And even then, you stayed near him, holding his hand, so he could feel you were still here. Not letting go. Never letting him go. 

So he would know. So he would know that he didn’t have to put his life in danger so he wouldn’t lose you. So he would know, that no matter what, you would always be there. 

Jason

“Don’t make me live through that ever again, Jason. Don’t you dare ! What do you think I’ll feel, knowing I am the cause of your death ? Knowing that if I hadn’t been there, you would’ve survived ?? How can I ever heal from not only losing you, but knowing it’s because of me ??”

Jason didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to react. 

“Mom, it wasn't because of-”

“Don’t do that ever again !” 

He couldn’t find the right words. He just couldn’t. 

When he died, after the Joker killed him, he came back to life feeling so angry. Angry that nobody seemed to care enough to kill that fucking clown ! Angry that his parents didn’t do it for him !! 

Angry. So angry. 

And now, after he started to forgive you and Bruce, he realized...

He realized that, of course, you cared. 

You cared so much in fact, that both you and his father felt guilty. Felt like you had killed your son. 

And that’s why right now, as he jumped in front of you to save you from imminent danger, you were such a mess. 

Tears ran down your face, and you were angry. So angry. 

Angry because, how dare he throw his life away ? After all he went through ? 

“You deserve peace, and happiness. You deserve to have a long life, full of joy. So don’t- Don’t do that ever again !”

Jason felt his throat clench. The love in your words, how much you cared for him, your wish for him to simply be happy...It was gut wrenching. 

He wasn’t angry anymore. He came to understand his father’s vision, and to know why you didn’t kill the Joker either. He came to see things your way. He came to realize that-

That both you and Bruce loved him so much, that it almost shattered your lives, when he died. 

That you almost crumbled, unable to ever stand back on your feet again. 

That the pain was so grand, you barely made it. 

You both loved him. 

You loved him so much, it hurt sometimes. And through your words, Jason felt that. That love he thought you didn’t have for him. 

It was there. It had always been there. 

He wasn’t angry anymore. Because know, he knew. He knew. 

“What is the point of living, if my baby dies before me ?” You asked, your voice cracking on the last words. 

Jason felt his heart breaking for you, and made a promise to himself. Never. Never again will he be the reason you felt that way. Never again will he make you cry. Never. 

He sat next to you, and gave you a hug. You returned it, of course. And he allowed you to cry (out of relief, mainly), staying with you until you calmed down. 

He would feel broken, if you ever died. He knew he would. 

And the thought that you would feel the same way, was both sad, yet comforting. 

He was loved. He was so loved. 

Tim

Tim had the “savior’s complex”, for sure. 

The first time he was unable to solve a case fast enough, and an innocent person ended up dying, he blamed himself for weeks. Months. Hell, you were pretty sure he remember that first case, and often used it as a driving force to do better. 

Tim always pushed himself to his limits, just so he could save people. Ever since he was a child, he had been like that. That’s why he sought Bruce in the first place, he so dearly wanted to help ! 

Yes. Tim had always been the one who needed to save others. 

And so, when he saw you, his mom, in danger, he didn’t think twice. 

He jumped into action, and save you, to the detriment of his own safety. That’s what he was supposed to do, right ? Especially when it was his mom ! 

His bruises and cuts didn’t bother him, all he cared about was that you were ok. Safe and sound. And when you said : “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING ?!”, as you started to get mad at him, he only said : 

“I saved you. That’s what I do. That’s what-”

You cut him off, saying : 

"YOU ARE A CHILD, TIM !! There is no reason in this world that justifies your sacrifice to save me !!” 

Silence. 

A short one. 

He’s never seen you so angry. 

Tim looks at you, and slowly, he face falls. His lips turns down. Tears are gathering in his eyes. 

For once, he cannot control his emotions. He cannot do that thing he always does during tough moments, when he detaches himself from his feelings (like father, like son ?). 

He cannot. 

“I’m sorry mom. I just-I didn’t-”

He doesn’t have to finish his sentence. You know. 

You know. 

Because you felt the same. One person is missing, and the whole world is empty. 

He didn’t want to lose you, is what he wanted to say. But he couldn’t, overwhelmed by his feelings. Those feelings he so carefully tried to keep in control at all times. All pouring out at once. 

He had been so scared, so scared ! What if he couldn’t make it in time ? What if you died right in front of his eyes ? 

For once, he acted without thinking. He jumped in there, with only one plan : saving you. And that’s what he did, and not even getting too hurt in the process. Phew. 

But you were mad. You were mad at him, because you were scared to. 

What if you had seen him die right in front of you ? Your own son ? Your baby ?

And Tim let it all go. All his emotions. 

You were next to him in an instant, taking him into your arms, drawing soothing circles on his back. 

Tim felt so vulnerable, and for once, he didn’t mind. On the contrary. Because he felt so relieved. 

You were ok. You were ok. 

That’s all that mattered, or so he thought...It only mattered because him too, was ok. One day, he would come to understand that. 

But for now, all he needed, was to let his emotions run free, and for his mom to be there, and reassure him that, yes. You were still here. 

And you always would be, even when he was acting like a reckless idiot. 

Cassandra

She didn’t back down. She didn’t apologize. In fact, she stood there, facing you, proud as a hawk. And then she frowned. 

She was the only one that never backed down in such a situation. On the contrary, she said, looking at you right in the eye : 

“If I had to do it again, I would !” 

Such strength, in those words. 

She was telling you that you had no right to be angry, because given the chance, you would’ve done the same (which was true). Could you really blame her for not thinking of herself, when you were in danger ?? 

You were her mom. 

She only had one mom. 

She couldn’t bear to lose her. 

No. Absolutely not. 

“If I had to do it again, I would !”

She would do it for her dad, for her brothers, for her friends...

Too long, was Cass used for evil. By those who called themselves “parents”, whose only goal were to fabricate the perfect human weapon. 

She was used to hurt so many, and never really had a choice in the matter...

So if now, she chose to sacrifice herself so that only one of her loved one could survive...She would. 

It was her choice. HERS. And nothing you could tell her would change her mind. You knew that. You knew and, it was as if your anger instantly disappeared. 

Usually, it would disappear after a few admonitions, after you yelled at them enough. But this time, she didn’t even let you start. Didn’t even let you question her actions. 

She would not let you die, period. If it meant for her life to end, then so be it. 

“If I had to do it again, I would !” 

It was her choice. Hers. 

Her mom’s life was worth any sacrifice. Including the ultimate one, her own life. 

“Mom.” 

Mom...You skipped right above the “anger” part of the aftermath of them putting themselves in danger for you, and went to the “my babies” part, during which you would hold onto them, glad they were still alive. 

Cass gave your hug back, fiercely, decisively. 

“If I had to do it again, I would !” 

Never again, would she hurt someone else. Never again, would she stand by doing nothing.

She had found a family, she would never let any of you go. 

And she’d rather die, before putting herself in safety first in a situation during which she could save you. 

Damian

Damian woke up, and he was at Wayne Manor, in one of the rooms specifically made for medical attentions that they set up. Leslie Thompkins would come take care of you guys, in those rooms with all the materials you could find in a proper hospital. 

Having your own at home hospital made it easier to hide certain wounds your family would get because of their “vigilante’s activities”. It came in handy, for sure. 

Like today, as Damian needed urgent care after he rushed to save you, and took the brunt of the blow for you. 

Damian woke up. First, one eye, finding it difficult to adjust to the bright white lights. And then, the second eye, finally focusing on his surroundings. 

And here you were, sat in an armchair next to his bed, your arms in a cast. 

At first, your youngest son panicked. No ! You were hurt ! 

But quickly, he realized you had no other wound but your broken arm, and he relaxed a bit, slowly realizing that...his entire body hurt. 

Ah. Yes. He’s the one who jumped in front of you, and got most of the impact. Without thinking, just seeing his mom in danger, he took the matter in hands and...The rest was foggy. 

He couldn’t really remember much, except you gathering his body against you, and screaming that you needed help. 

Everything went to black, and he woke up in that “hospital” bed. And you were safe. That was all he needed to know.

“Boy, you’re in trouble. Also, I’m glad you’re safe.” 

Damian turned his head to the side and, ah, his father was here too. He was smiling at him, and added : 

“You’re lucky you’re mom was exhausted, and is fast asleep. Or that would’ve been a wake up call you’d remember.” 

His mind still a little hazy, Damian didn’t understand right away. 

“Are you okay ?” Bruce asked, and his son nodded, before saying : 

“What do you mean, wake up call ?” 

Your husband was so relieved that your son was ok, he sighed, fell back in his chair, and smiled, before saying :

“Well, I’m 100% sure she’s going to wake up and get very mad at you for putting your life in danger.” 

“But I-I saved her life ?”

“And you almost lost yours.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Try to think of the same situation, but reversed. How would you feel ?” 

Damian’s mind was clearing itself a bit, after a good night’s sleep and care. What if the situation was reverse ? 

“I would be mad.” he answered, and ah. Ah yes. Of course. So his mom had every right to get mad at him for being so reckless, right ? 

“But, dad...”

It was rare, for Damian to call him “dad”. He would do it only during certain times, usually when he was particularly tired, needed reassurance, or something like that. 

“I couldn’t- I don’t think I’d want to- I wouldn’t want to live in a World in which she’s not in anymore.” 

Simple words. Born from that deep feeling that Damian truly understood only recently...

Love. 

He loved his mom. He didn’t want her to die. And so he didn’t think, and saved her, even if it meant putting his own life in danger. 

“Is it wrong ?” 

He asked, and the innocence of his words touched Bruce’s heart, moved him, even. Was it wrong, to love someone so much you would be willing to die for them, even if it meant they’d have to continue on living alone ?

Bruce smiled. Of a most tender smile, only his family ever saw on his face. He smiled, and said : 

“No son. No, it’s not wrong at all.” 

For some reason, Damian felt lighter. Felt good. Nice and warm. Felt like-

You stirred in your armchair, and one of your eyes opened. In an instant, you sat up and-

“Oh dear...”

Bruce said (in a very Alfred way, might I add...force of habits), and he stood up, ruffled affectionately his son’s hair, before living whispering : “You’re on your own for that one. Rite of passage, some would call it.” 

Damian watched as his father left, and didn’t have time to react as the storm of your wrath suddenly fell on him. 

But he knew. Your son knew, that you weren’t actually angry. That you had been so afraid for him. That you couldn’t bear to be the cause of his demise. That-

That you loved him, as simple as that. And so he took the onslaught of your sermon, “like a champ”. 

Because the only reason you reacted that way, was because indeed...

You loved him. You loved him so much. 

Duke

"You absolute idiot !!” You yell, as you rush towards the newest addition to your little family. Towards the boy you now viewed as your son. 

“I knew I would survive. I have powers, you know, that allow me to see a little in the future.” This was partly true, partly a lie. Yes, he had such powers, but it only showed him possibilities of events. No certainty. A slight change of a millimeter to the left, or a breath taken a millisecond too late, and it could alter his visions. 

The truth was, Duke didn’t think. He saw you in danger, he pushed you out of the way and took your place. As simple as that. 

Duke couldn’t bear to see another member of his family get hurt while he couldn’t do anything, like it happened with his parents and the Joker. 

He swore to himself he would never be powerless anymore. Maybe that’s how his meta human powers started to appear ? Him finally making that decision to never let anyone get hurt in front of him again ? Maybe. Who knows.

What was known though, is that he wasn’t going to stay put as he saw danger fly right to you. He knew that, if that piece of concrete fell on you, you would’ve died. He knew. 

And with his costume, there was a chance he could take it. Sure, most his bones would be shattered. But he would survive. After all, Bruce and Lucious Fox spend a lot of time working on those suits, to make them almost indestructible (regardless of the state of the person in it). 

“THAT IS NO REASON ! I forbid you, you hear ? I forbid you from doing something like that ever again !” 

They told him that this day would come. That you’d get mad at him for putting his life “needlessly” in danger. He knew, because they told him, that he shouldn’t take it too personally. 

That you would get mad, because you were so afraid for him that your brain couldn’t see reason anymore. You were so afraid, and at the same time relieved he was still alive, that processing your emotion was too hard and you just exploded. 

Yes. Duke, thanks to the experience of the rest of his family, knew what was coming. And so he let it happen. He took your anger. Your worries. Everything. 

He only winced once you calmed down, and hugged him a little too tight, as Bruce and a medical team were coming to take care of his broken bones...

That (those) time(s) you did it. 

"MOM !!”

You weren’t sure who yelled it, your mind hazy with pain. You knew it was one of your baby, though.

Aah. “Baby”. You only thought of them as “your babies” when you felt extra sentimental. When you suddenly just wanted to squish them in your arms, words being unable to express how much you loved them. 

And the gods only knew how much you did love them. 

Enough to throw your life away for them. Enough to jump in the middle of danger, if only to save their lives. 

How ironic, really. How many times did you yell at them because they did that exact same thing ? Too many times to count, now. 

You would get so mad, when they put themselves in arms’ way just to save you. And what did you do now ? The exact same thing. 

You knew that it was quite a selfish act. That it was a way to not be the one who remained. Because everyone knew...everyone knew those “left behind”, left alive, were the ones to feel sorry for the most. 

Once you were gone, you were gone. Either you went to an afterlife, either it was just the end, or maybe you could reincarnate...But there would be no pain, anymore. 

The same couldn’t be said about those you would leave behind. 

The pain of losing a member of your family, one of your loved one...it was unbearable. It almost drove you mad a few times. When Jason and Damian died. When you thought Tim, Dick or even Bruce died. When-

Yes. You knew the pain. And yet, you would inflict it one someone you loved, just to save them. Knowing they were safe was enough. It was...Enough ?

No. The truth was, you didn’t want to feel the pain. Or your body just moved on its own when you saw the person you loved in danger. 

You knew, it wasn’t something you could fully control. You knew. 

Yet, you always got mad at them when they did it. And you still did it yourself. 

“My love !” 

Ah. Bruce now. Joining your kids. 

You were just a little shook up, but you were fine. Maybe you had a few broken ribs, and a concussion as you got knocked down, but you would definitely survive. 

Years of being a “vigilante”, and they knew that you were going to be ok. 

And oh boy, that meant...

That meant that you were in trouble. 

One by one, they threw your own words back at you. “How dare you ??” “How do you think I could live with the fact I’m the reason you died ??”, “Selfish !”, “Don’t you dare do that again !”, “YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT !!” 

It was ironic, really. And a little funny...

“Ah, now you know. You know how it feels.” 

Yes. Yes, now they knew. Would that stop them to, if given the chance, jump in and save you, completely disregarding their own safety ? Probably not. 

None of you wanted to live in a world where a part of your heart would be missing. So yes, given the chance, you would all take that “selfish” decision to die for those you loved. 

Because sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated. You were a bunch of humans, but not that strong. 

Bonus : Clark

To Clark, the Waynes were special. 

Family. 

You and Bruce were his best friends. The kids were like his little nephews and niece. Alfred, was like a surrogate uncle to him, almost another father figure, at times. Even Ace, the family dog, was important, as he was one of Krypto’s (aka “his baby”) very first friend (besides himself). 

So when he saw you right in the middle of danger, he acted. And that’s how it happened. 

Kryptonite. Tearing his side. Badly. 

He would survive. After all, they didn’t call him “Superman” for nothing. But it had been close nonetheless. 

He settled you down, glad he was able to save you. Glad he brought you back to Bruce, safe and sound. He doesn’t think he could ever face his friend again, if he had arrived too late, and had to bring your dead body to him. He doesn’t think he could bear the weight of being the one who would finally crush the Batman. 

And then he fell on his knees, because that wound hurt like hell ! And to be honest, he wasn't much used to pain. 

He looked up, expecting to see relief and thankfulness on your face, only to be met with...Your glare. You were fuming. 

“YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT !!” You screamed, and Clark was very confused. Up until he met Bruce eyes, and the Batman himself looked like he was sorry for his friend. His eyes were telling him : “Good luck.” 

Yes. Clark was confused, as Bruce and his children slowly moved away (once they made sure you were ok), and you started to sermon him on the incredible value of his life. 

Somehow, it felt both heartwarming and terrifying at the same time. 

__________________________________________________

Boom, just a little something I suddenly wanted to write :D Didn’t re-read myself as usual (or I would never post anything). I was just thinking of the cliche of someone sacrificing themselves for their loved ones, and how angry I would actually be if anyone did that because like...what do you do, knowing the person you love died for you ? How can you heal from not only losing them, but knowing you’re the cause, ya know ? And here we are haha. 

As usual, comments and reblogs are very welcomed, and I hope you liked this story :). 

[awsydawnarts]

Just saw some posts defending and discussing Gale and felt like throwing some of my current thoughts on the topic out into the void

I feel like it’s unfair to be too harsh on him for the actions he took as part of the war effort. Yes, Gale invented an incredibly fucked up weapon that caused the deaths of many innocent people, not just Prim. Yes, Gale suggested strategies that would have caused undeserved mass death and devastation. Yes, Gale was angry and cruel and violent and ultimately a destructive force rather than a constructive one. But you cannot look me in the eye and say that after everything Gale has been through-growing up poor and literally starving, losing a parent and having to step up as the head of his family, watching the obscenely rich use his peers as entertainment in their sick murder games that his best friend was eventually sent to and ultimately lost to (even though she survived)-you cannot say that you or otherwise good people you know wouldn’t have turned out the same way when all was said and done. Gale lived a life ravaged by tragedy, and he did the best he could in the circumstances he was in. At the end of the day, we have no right to judge him because we will never be in his shoes and have to make the choices he made during the war.

Completely pivoting here. On the other hand, Gale was a terrible friend and love interest to Katniss over the course of the books and deserves our full judgment and ire for it. His choices about the war are not a real part of life that most of us will experience. His choices regarding Katniss are. Everyone will encounter people who are jealous, insecure, and entitled in the ways that Gale is towards Katniss. Gale isn’t a villain. Gale is, however, very toxic, and absolutely an unnecessary presence in Katniss’s life after she comes back from the first games and he starts being a little bitch about Peeta. I haven’t reread the books in several months so I can’t pull up specific instances with page numbers and everything but Gale’s behavior towards Katniss is really gross and demanding, and he prioritizes what he wants rather than what she needs, such as when he gets pissy that she won’t leave Peeta to get tortured for information after they survived the trauma murder games together. He sees their relationship as transactional and Katniss as a part of life that is “his”, shown by how he realized he had feelings for her-when someone else was flirting with her and he realized he was jealous. Gale feels like Katniss owes him a relationship when she owes him nothing. He operates with no regard for her feelings and no consideration of her PTSD and how important Peeta is to her, while Peeta uses Gale as a reason for Katniss to survive the Quarter Quell. Gale can’t acknowledge what a horrific experience Katniss has been through and how much it’s changed her, and his lack of empathy towards her trauma is what really pushes them apart in the end. Prim was just the nail in the coffin.

I could go on but this is not a love triangle post, I’m trying to make points about Gale. I know it’s fun to shit on him (I’ve done my fair share), but I think it’s important to acknowledge why he behaves the way that he does and offer him *some* sympathy for his actions. Gale’s story is ultimately a tragedy, and I pity him for being put in situations where he was able to act on his darkest impulses and desires.

(He deserves NO sympathy for Katniss choosing to save herself the headache of being anchored to his insecure, selfish ass for the rest of her life though, get fucked Gale)

[delicatelystrangepolice]

Another thing is, I never read YR as a political/cultural commentary piece because I believe it was way subtler in the first two seasons. Maybe it was easier for me not to read into it since I watched the show without any major context in the beginning.

What I saw were just the characters in this story, behaving pretty believably in their environment, their actions logical for their context, and conflicts coming just from circumstances.

I never read Wille any other way than just a teenager – I saw people using very strong words about him, from ‘helpless damaged baby’ to ‘spoiled and selfish brat.’ Since the story was immersive enough for me to see him like a real person, I never liked the simplifications of his character. Maybe I come from very specific experiences, but partying and acting up teenagers is nothing new to me. Being dramatic, neither. Those behaviors are not exclusive to rich/privileged kids. I mostly saw him as just a little troubled, trying to orient himself in the situation he found himself in.

But there comes Simon. Now I get that people accept he was just a plot device the reason for Wille to throw away the crown, but I firmly believe he was not written that way in the beginning. Simon felt as real as Wille. He had his own huge context, his troubles and characteristics – I always saw him as a real person as well. Also, I never saw him as a victim either. Again, that’s probably both because the show was written subtly enough and because I don’t have a simplistic worldview.

Social injustice is naturally a very close matter to my heart. I keep myself hopeful about the world, despite seeing some devastating shit in my life, because I believe in change. I believe in people working together, I believe in communities and parties willing to compromise for a cause.

I can’t comment much about the monarchy aspect of it, but what I gathered is that people don’t like the very concept of it. The right to be born in the right family and so on…

Well, the realist in me knows that people will always be born into something. It doesn’t matter that it’s not written in the law – countries without monarchies have some biggest social inequalities in the world. Russia is a great example. But the USA doesn’t fall far back behind either. Nowadays the inequalities come simply from being born into money. And it’s always going to be a thing. All around the world. I wish people understood that.

Inequalities aren’t diminished by revolutions, I don’t think (pretty sure some historians would agree with me although they are very welcome to correct me) They can be reduced however by the whole community working together. By stopping multiplying divisions and starting to talk. By listening to understand and not just to argue against.

I can’t help being angry at the message from YR because Sweden is one of the most progressive and developed countries in the world. Their social system is admired around the world, I think. Even their education system is the model others can only aspire to. I’m not saying they don’t have problems, but you know, in the bigger context…

Maybe it takes someone raised in a post-communist country to see those things that way.  I just know that, deep down in my soul, destroying something is rarely the way. Building on that thing, adding to it, changing it to include – that’s how things are done to improve.

True both for countries and for worldviews.

Now, you started to read it because you thought I was talking about the show, and by the end of it you realized you were just reading my socialistic manifesto? Good. That’s how I felt watching Young Royals. But since the big media creators can do it on mainstream platforms, I figured a simple person could do it on their weird blog too.

[minhosbitterriver]

blame me if you want.

other works by green.

pairing: jeongin x gender neutral reader

content warnings: heartbreak, angst, crying, break up

rating: 13+

summary: you deluded yourself into thinking you and jeongin were meant to last forever. but after some time where he felt distant, you come to find out why.

🍂 untitled — hyunjin & i.n (2 kids’ show)

His hands shook slightly as they held your face as though you were to break into a thousand pieces if he let you go, and you thought you might, too, since your heart had just been shattered by the man you’d once named your forever; why not let your body and soul follow your heart into the disaster it is now? You watched as tears threatened to spill, his voice cracked and his lips formed a trembling frown, though it didn’t compare to the storm of tears rolling down your cheeks or the sobs that continuously escaped past your lips, your expression twisted into one of pure heartbreak.

“I— I really didn’t want us to end like this, Jeongin,” you sobbed, and you knew he could barely understand what you were trying to say through the hiccups and cries. “But it’s like you’ve mentally been away for months now and I don’t know what I can do anymore. I can’t continue living like this, losing sleep because I can’t figure out what is happening and you keep refusing to talk about it.”

Jeongin pulled you to his chest, resting his chin on top of your head as the fingers of one hand gripped your shirt. He was shaking all over, but you were inconsolable.

“You’ve said it on my behalf, Y/N.” He began, voice crackling as he held back tears. “At some point, your eyes felt so cold, and perhaps I am the reason, but —”

You pulled away from him, eyebrows furrowed. “If I ever looked at you coldly, I never meant it. Baby, I promise that —”

“No, not like that,” he interrupted. “I mean, I didn’t feel the same way that I used to. I’m not sure how or when it happened, but it did. I couldn’t figure out how to tell you, but I really didn’t want things to get to this point.”

A tear finally rolled down his cheek as he spoke, voice growing thicker as he held back his own devastation. His words felt as though he’d pushed you off of a cliff and now you were just falling without a safety net by yourself.

“Y/N, I know in my heart that you leaving me and finding someone who truly deserves you before this pain gets any deeper is the best thing you can do.” A choked sob escaped from his lips and he sniffled, looking away for a moment to compose himself. “I tried to be your forever, I really did. But now I’m not sure of anything; did I really fall in love? Or was it a selfish decision made for my own sake to escape from my loneliness? At first, I didn’t even want to entertain the idea but, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”

The room was spinning at his words, your sobs intensifying while you pulled away from him completely. You were angry now, hurt, betrayed.

“What are you implying?” Your voice was louder than you’d intended, but you also couldn’t bring yourself to care when your whole world was collapsing in on itself at the moment. “Are you saying that everything we’d been through wasn’t real? Every beautiful minute spent together didn’t make you feel like this could be forever?”

You were standing now, looking down on his shiny eyes as more tears rolled freely down his achingly beautiful face; even with emotions running high, it took everything in you to not kiss them away. But he didn’t deserve that anymore, and you were well aware. When you called him over with the intention to end things, you wanted him to argue with you and tell you that you guys could work things out. You wanted to hear him say that he loved you, and that he didn’t agree with this decision. Anything to show you that he cared and was willing to fight for you and your relationship with him. Instead you found yourself feeling as though he’d punched you in the gut when he agreed wholeheartedly. Now every year spent with him was in question as you wondered just how much of it was as real to him as it had been for you. How many times did he lie through his teeth as he told you he loved you? The thought had you shaking with rage.

Jeongin didn’t respond, only sat there as he watched you back away from him slowly.

“Was I really just someone to keep your bed warm? Who the fuck says that?”

Jeongin finally stood up, hands attempting to reach you but you moved away before he could. “No, I don’t think it was like that —”

“You don’t think, Jeongin? This was the part where you told me ‘No, Y/N, it definitely wasn’t like that’. But you stand there and tell me you don’t think I was just a warm body so you didn’t feel so lonely? You’re such a coward.”

“I know that I am!” For the first time ever, Jeongin raised his voice, which took you aback. “You can blame me if you want, Y/N, but you have to believe me when I tell you that I didn’t want this to drag on like this. There were so many times where I tried to be honest about my feelings but I would look at you and always feel like such a monster for wanting to end things when what we had was so good. Don’t you think I hate this too?”

You remained silent, his words echoing in your mind. It didn’t make sense to you, nothing did. “If what we had was so good, then why did you stop loving me? When did you stop seeing me as your future?”

He opened his mouth but nothing came out. His shoulders slumped when he mumbled, “I have no idea.”

You sniffled, wrapping your own arms around yourself as you watched him. The crying had subsided a little bit by that point, and you could feel your chest becoming numb the longer he remained there. He stood before you, a shell of a man who had once decided to fall with you, but now he watched as you fell on your own to your own doom. The future looked so bleak without him, and you didn’t think you could ever forgive him for this.

“Do you think you would’ve said something sooner rather than later if I hadn’t called you over?”

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

You inhaled sharply, and exhaled shakily, your heart beating in your throat as you prepared to say the next words you’d never even dreamt of saying: “I think you should leave.”

Worst of all, Jeongin only nodded before walking out of your place. He didn’t even look back before closing the door behind him, leaving you a shattered mess.

word count: 1.1k 🍂 posted: 11 • 30 • 2023

💬 a note from green;

i watched hyunjin and i.n’s 2 kids show yesterday and their untitled song had me in tears and inspired me to write this sad little thing. i hope you guys enjoy, i might post something with hyunjin too though i don’t know.

🪲 TAGLIST !

# @grandpafelixx

[starogeorgina]

𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬

Pairing: Harwin Strong × Targ oc

Warnings: Mentions of blood

3.08

Puffing out your cheeks, you watch as Otto Hightower gleefully receives praise from lords from Old Town for resuming his old position as hand of the king. Alicent had poured her honey in your father's ear and assured him her own father would be the best choice. Lord Lyonel spoke with your father not long after you arrived at Driftmark, and they decided it would be for the best if Lord Lyonel temporarily resigned from his position at court. But in truth, you doubted he would ever return.

“Vaella, you look more like my mother as the days go by.” Your father says this before embracing you and kissing you on the cheek. “Have you spoken with Daemon?”

“I have, and I do believe he misses you,” you sigh. It has been so long since your father and uncle spoke; their reuniting would be the only positive outcome from this horrible situation. “You should go to him, father; Daemon is far too proud to reach out first, but he needs you.”

He glances at Daemon, who is talking to his daughters, then shakes his head. After staring at your uncle for a few seconds, your father chuckles. “Lord Lyonel says you have repeatedly insisted he stay on Dragonstone.”

“Harwin has lost far too much.” You run your hand along the reddening patches spotted across your neck. “Perhaps it’s selfish of me, but I want your former hand close for my husband’s sake.”

“And if he had chosen to return to court?”

“Then we would have moved back to King's Landing.” You pause, feeling your throat go dry. “I’m not ignorant of the gossip at court, and I’m aware of why Lord Lyonel was hesitant for his son to marry me, especially since Harwin almost died when he was my sworn protector. But he is a good man who has served you faithfully over the years. Lord Lyonel needs his family to help him overcome his terrible loss, and I would never rob him of that.”

“You may look like your grandmother, but you have your own mother's kindness.” Your father leans forward and kisses your forehead. “Now, I shall attempt to speak with my stubborn brother.”

When your father walks over to Daemon with a member of the king's guard close behind him, you are left standing alone, but Harwin is by your side swiftly.

The wake for Lady Laena was being held in a cliffside courtyard on High Tide Castle, and it was by far the most awkward funeral you had ever attended. Almost all conversations seem forced, as many lords and ladies gossip about how Jace, Luke, and Joff lacked Velaryon features. As tragic as the reasoning for the gathering was, there was something rather magical about watching Varos, Ashwing, Nightmare, Caraxes, Seasmoke, Sunfyre, Syrax, Meleys, Dreamfyre, and Vhagar gathered together around the cliffs of the castle.

Noting Harwin's hardened expression as he and Criston stare at each other, you take his hand, so Harwin’s focus is off him. Criston and Alicent’s sly looks and snide comments hadn’t gone unnoticed by your husband. Quietly, you say, “He’s not worth it; besides, they are probably doing it deliberately, waiting on you to react.”

You didn’t know Laena well, but her death had cast a dark shadow over your family. Daemon was devastated, and your heart broke for Baela and Rhaena. You knew firsthand how painful it was to be without a mother so young.

Harwin places his hand on your lower back and says, “It’s getting late; we should get the kids to bed soon.”

Feeling the baby kick, you rub at your stomach, feeling the movements, and nod in agreement. You glance around the small groups gathered across the courtyard at Rhaenyra, whose eyesight is firmly locked onto Daemon, who seems to be in an intense conversation with your father.

“Mama!”

Ada pushes her way through the small crowd to reach you and buries her face into your side, weeping. You brush the back of the hair with your fingers, being careful not to pull on the black bow, which is identical to your own. “What’s happened, sweet girl?”

Between sobs, she squeals, “I don’t want Daddy to die!”

Her loud sobs attract the attention of others, many of them pulling sympathetic facial expressions. Concerned Lord Lyonel excuses himself from the conversation he’s in and comes over, waving Vaegon, who is standing with your younger siblings, to come over.

In one swift moment, Harwin lifts her up and wipes away her tears with his thumb. “Now what would make you say a thing like that?”

Ada doesn’t answer him; she just cuddles with her father and continues to cry. Harwin sighs. “I’m going to take her inside.”

Noticing the uneasy look on Aerion’s face, you get the sense that he knows something but doesn’t want to address it to everyone. “I’ll join you shortly; I’m going to get Jace and Luke.”

When Harwin is out of earshot, you take Aerion’s hand and gently rub the back of it. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

When he tells you Varos roars loudly in the distance as anger boils inside you, it takes everything inside you not to snap. You pat the back of your son's hand and say, “Go back inside with Ser Harwin and your sister.”

—

You feel as if you’re floating in the ocean, with blood seeping from an open wound and the scent of dragon's blood attracting the sharks as you cross the courtyard to where the greens are standing. Otto, Alicent, Criston, and Lord Hobert, the head of the house, watch your actions carefully. You come to a stop and clear your throat, making your presence known in front of the man who was quickly becoming the root of many of your family's issues.

“Princess.”

The smug look on Larys face threatens to cause the simmering fire inside you to combust, but you manage to keep your composure. “Lord Larys, my condolences on the loss of your stepmother and sisters.”

“Thank you. It has been a difficult time for myself, as I’m sure it has been for my father and brother.”

“The fire at Harrenhal was nothing short of a tragedy, but I’m sure you thank the gods that Harwin and Lord Lyonel weren’t caught up in it.”

His smugness is replaced by a look of irritation.

The fierceness you feel to protect your children causes the invisible cord connecting you and Varos to pull. The dimming sky is suddenly aflame with the fury of your dragon's breath, Varos’s wings beating the air with a thunderous roar. Seconds later, Ashwing and Nightmare join him. All three dragons startle the onlookers below with their boisterous behavior.

“Pray tell me, Lord Larys, what makes you think it’s wise to speak to a girl who is only nearing her sixth name day about her father dying?”

“I was trying to clear up any confusion she may have had. I was under the impression that my niece wasn’t aware she would be the heir to my family's home once my own father and brother had passed.”

Darkness overshadows where you stand as Varos flies dangerously low and your eyes blaze with an unyielding fury. You glare at Larys, silently daring him to continue. It was becoming clear just how dangerous Larys was; you’d even bet on him playing a hand in his father's mystery illness, which seems to have vanished when he left the red keep.

When he says nothing, you turn to walk away and briefly lock eyes with Alicent, whose expression is hard to read.

“Does my brother know about this misunderstanding? He is a reasonable man, but a father's love will make the best man do unspeakable things.” Larys gets to his feet, making a show of dragging his foot behind him. Nervously, he licks at his lips. “I truly hope you pass on my deepest apologies; I meant no offense.”

“Of course,” you say quietly, so only Larys can hear your next words. “But if you make another one of my children cry again, this will be the next funeral we attend.”

—

Harwin’s voice fills the bedchamber as he laughs at the sight of you scrunching your face up and spitting out the tea in your mouth. You rinse your mouth out with water before spitting it back into a bowl, then accept the cup Harwin is offering you.

“Not as nice as the tea you usually drink?”

“No, that was overly sweet.”

He picks up the tea and smells it. “That is rather vile. I’ve never seen a tea that shade of red before.”

You sit on the side of the bed and watch as Harwin removes his shirt in preparation for bed. He often slept naked due to how warm he’d become during the night. You smile. “The children are all safely tucked up in bed.”

Harwin grins and walks towards you.

“So,” you reach out, looping your fingers into the top of his trousers. “I suggest you join me in bed, husband, as we will have an early rise in the morning.”

Your heart flutters with excitement when Harwin gently takes your face between his large hands and kisses you passionately.

—

You smiled, feeling Harwin holding you closer as he nuzzled his face into the back of your neck, his hardness poking into your back. But you were utterly exhausted from having your bodies entwined in dances of desire for most of the night, and you needed a moment to catch your breath. Against your skin, he mumbles, “That tea is really strong-smelling.”

“We could throw it out!” you laugh.

“Hmm, I’m rather comfortable like this.”

Feeling Harwin part his lips and place soft kisses against your bare skin, you’re unable to resist him. Rolling in your back, you lean into him, desperately craving to feel his lips against yours once again, but he suddenly pulls away and sits upright.

“What’s wrong?”

He swipes his thumb under your nose and says, “You’re bleeding.”

Quickly, he climbs out of bed, gets a cloth, and holds it to your nose. “I should get the maester.”

“It may pass.”

Harwin quickly redressed, then helped you put your nightgown and robe on while you pinched your nose, attempting to stop the bleeding. Harwin shakes his head. “I’m going to send for the maester.”

Just as he goes to unlock the door, there’s a knock at it. He opens it, and one of the knights of the king's guard steps forward.

“Ser Erryk.”

“Ser Harwin, princess. There has been an innocent involving prince Vaegon and prince Aerion.”

[bunnyshideawayy]

and since i’m yapping i wanna quickly rant about how stupid and selfish the Feysand death pact is.

yes, i know losing a mate would be devastating for the other. yes, i know Feyre and Rhys watched each other die and were put through hell together. that still doesn’t change my mind. what they did was selfish, for more reasons than just it leaving Nyx orphaned and heartbroken. (btw do we know the timeline for aging as a fae? like do they grow up like humans do until they reach like 20 something and just stop aging for a while? lmk)

Feyre and Rhys are high lady and high lord of the night court, they have the court and its people to consider. what would happen to if they should die together? who would rule the NC if Nyx was to young to become high lord? who would protect Nyx and Velaris? News flash, it wouldn’t be the IC. the only one who stands a chance politically would be Mor, who is Keir’s daughter and Rhys’s cousin, but Cas and Az would be left with no official court positions. Rhys is barely keeping the Illryians in line, should he die they will revolt and Cas and Az will not be able to handle that idc how powerful they are. Amren wouldn’t be able to do much politically i don’t think she is even known outside the NC. Cas and Az have little to no respect from the other courts, they’d maybe have the help of the Summer and Day courts- that’s it. Keir would probably try to become HL of the NC if Nyx is still to young and he would have the entire support of the CON. if that happened Nyx, Mor, any of the IC would never be safe. Nesta and Elain, too. Just rhys dying would drastically change the political landscape, losing both he and feyre would be catastrophic. 

Now onto Nyx.

I know feyre and rhys didn’t expect to actually get pregnant so soon but they made the pact then decided to try for kids, that is also selfish and irresponsible. idc if they thought it would take 200 years to get pregnant, idc if they didn’t expect the wigs, they still made the pact and knew the consequence of having a kid would mean one of them would have to stay behind to take care of them even if they were grieving! “well mates are different!” do you really think feyre and rhys are the first and only mated pair in pyrithian history? i’m sure there has been someone who lost their mate and still pushed through for their kid(s). it was a desperate thing to do and love makes you desperate. i get it and i don’t expect these deeply traumatized characters to be perfect but i DO expect us as readers to see stupid, and say stupid. it’s obvious even they regret their pact after the pregnancy. so we can all drop this act, what they did was selfish and that’s okay! they made a blind and short sided decision that will have incredible, negative consequences should it ever happen. not just for them and their family, but for their entire court and the entire island of pyrthian, maybe even world, maybe even universe given its now canonly connected to the CC universe. thank the mother they both have way to much plot armor so we don’t have to worry about losing either of them. but the possibility is terrifying!

[avathebestx]

My Thoughts on The Bad Batch Season 2 Finale

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Techs Death

This hit me so hard, I am so affected I can’t even return to who I was before, no jokes. Tech dying just destroyed my heart, destroyed me as a person. I can’t recover, I just can’t. I knew it was coming, he got so much screen time and attention and when Hunter picked up his goggles, i knew it was end game. I had hope that he would return, like echo but seeing his goggles made me lose all that hope. Hunter was so devastated when he saw his little brothers glasses in pieces cause he had hope that Tech could be out there, but just like me, the goggles made him lose all hope. Rest in peace Tech, we love you. (My Eulogy’s at the end) 🥺💔

Cid’s Betrayal

I hate Cid with all my heart. This is why I made a petition to kill her. I hated her so much and that guy that warned them was right. I called it, I knew she would betray them to spite the batch. Even after they lost Tech, she just decided, fuck it let me just reck their lives more. She wasn’t sorry, she never has been. She just wants money and she’s so selfish and greedy it makes me sick. I hoped she would do the right thing but again, I was proven wrong. 💔

Omega’s Capturing

Since we just talked about Cid snitching on them, let’s get to Omega. She is the reason Omegas there, she’s the reason that they went through hell and they lost Tech. They were doing fine, all they needed was Crosshair back and they could live peacefully. Just like what everyone wanted. It breaks my heart seeing her back with the Empire and we will get into that doctor in a bit but let’s focus on Omega still. She is so strong, she fought for her brothers, risked her life for them because she knew they have done the same and that if tech died saving them, why couldn’t she? Omega is such an incredible strong girl who shows how much a sweet girl can turn into a sweet but tough girl. I wish Omega nothing but safety.

The Doctor

Welp, that’s Omegas sister now?? Jennifer make it make sense?? Does that mean the doctors a clone because according to the information we received in S1, Omega and Boba are the only first gen clones of Jango so where does she come in? Is it because they knew each other or because they were created both on Kamino? I still have very high hopes for the doc and I pray that she helps Omega and Cross get out of there. She reminds me so much of tech it hurts and I know it would hurt the batch if they had someone who reminds them of the brother they lost in battle.

Saw Gerrera

Honestly, I always disliked Saw but now it’s so high it’s overflowing. If he wouldn’t have been so inconsiderate and put others needs before himself, Tech would still be with us. He says he wants the fight the empire but doesn’t do what’s necessary to do so?? He’s so caught up in the moment he doesn’t care. He killed Tech. And I will always blame him for Techs death and nothing will change my mind regardless.

Crosshair

I’m shocked we didn’t get any valuable Crosshair scenes in the finale, like they whole point of last weeks episode was Crosshair? I thought he would play a bigger part but again, I was mistaken. It’s honestly heartbreaking to know that he doesn’t know Techs dead. It hurts me because he warned them, he put his life on the line to help them yet one of the smartest people on the squad dies? I already know this is going to hit him so hard when he finds out cause he already lost Mayday, someone he just met and if he loses someone he’s known his whole life to a cause he always supported?? He is going to have no remorse. He is going to kill and I can feel it. He is going to avenge Techs death and cherish the time he had with one of his oldest brothers.

My Eulogy for Tech

Tech, my smarty little Tech. I can’t believe your gone, the smartest of them all dies? Ironic to me. You put your life on the line when no one else could. You did what you needed to do for the safety of your family, and for the future you never got to live. I thank you for the amazing knowledge you always shared with us and the flying lessons with Omega. I thank you for you “Tech Turn” cause that’s all I will ever call it. I thank you for the love you showed, even when you thought you didn’t. I thank you for trying to understand your family members when they were going through hard times and always staying by their side to comfort them. I thank you for putting your life on the line, regardless of what was next. And I mean when it came to you and Omega in the cave and you in the finale. I’ll miss your smile and your amazing racing skills. I’ll miss your voice and your walk. I’ll miss your data pad you used to share your amazing discoveries. And most importantly, we all thank you for the fun we got with you for the (almost) 3 years we had. We love you Tech and we miss you. Also if you see Fives up there, tell him Echo said hi. He misses you both terribly. We love you Tech. Goodbye…💔

[theangelwithawand]

Like Giants

Humans, Gods, and the Timelord caught between them:

AKA the beautifully optimistic view of humanity by a Time Lord

Nine says he would make a very bad God. Ten says a Time Lord with too much power would become vengeful.

They’re both right.

Time Lords are alluded to as very uncaring, very aloof people. By the Time War, they are apparently just as bad as the Daleks. The Doctor runs from them for a reason.

Because when they are Gods they are terrifying. But the Doctor’s terror always stems from too much emotion rather than too little. The end of Dalek is Nine’s darkest moment. He holds a gun on Rose while she is showing mercy because of the traumatic loss of Gallifrey.

Loss makes Ten in particular…frightening. After losing Rose he nearly commits genocide again in the Runaway Bride.

The moment of Godlike arrogance in “Christmas Invasion” where he changes the known future of Harriet Jones’ tenure has devastating consequences, allowing the Master to come to power. It’s a great reminder of what happens when the Doctor is given too much power.

The Time Lord Victorious is terrifying because it is the Doctor losing everything over and over after rebuilding himself twice.

For the first time, the Doctor feels like he is owed something.

But what is also terrifying is just how human the selfishness is.

—————

Of course there are moments when they are presented as Godlike that are purely heroic.

Ten’s in particular stand out against his almost unnerving humanity.

I love his “I’m the Doctor” speech in Voyage of the Damned. It’s clearly him doing the equivalent of psyching himself up before a game, because nothing he says is going to mean anything to the people he’s protecting. It’s a short, simple moment holding so much weight.

Nine has a wonderful way of pointing out the best of humanity to help Rose discover space to find empowerment, just as Ten does for Donna. Nine does it for the couple in Father’s day. There’s a wistful, non-malicious envy in his reaction to the magically mundane story of how they met.

Ten takes this wistfulness and runs with it. There’s something so beautiful and so deeply tragic that he is the Doctor who chooses shoes meant specifically for running.

There’s this sense with Ten that he not only loves humanity, but desires to be human. From embracing certain forms of domesticity, to the devastating way he processes grief.

Obviously, he knows when he is weird, he also just doesn’t care about social niceties. However, he might be a genius, but he doesn’t understand every intricate detail of human experience.

Although it’s usually called out for comedy, it’s best utilized for drama.

Nine has that beautiful “It was scared!” moment.

Sometimes it’s given less focus, and simply slipped into dialogue.

Nine calls humans stupid apes in high stress situations, and apparently he insults species when he’s upset. Even Ten, who is known to love humanity, also pretty regularly disparages them. In his first appearance he calls us monsters. He makes one-off comments disparaging humans in Rise of the Cyberman, Army of Ghosts, 42, Human Nature. and the Poison Sky.

Planet of the Ood is one of the rarer times that he goes out of his way to highlight human cruelty to Donna.

————

Series 3 has lot of interesting moments.

In “Smith and Jones” he has a long scene which he (intentionally) pretends to be human. He creates this domestic fantasy where he’s got a wife and a home where he brings people round for dinner. Even more interesting is that this is his suggestion to “help” the villain appear more human.

In Human Nature we see the Doctor literally become a human. He falls in love and allows himself to be a product of the times. His moments of heroism are supposed to be the Doctor leaking through, but are passed over off as “ordinary humans being capable of extraordinary things”. He also allows himself to be swept up by the environment as opposed to standing against it as the Doctor would. John Smith’s incredibly horrible treatment of Martha being the prime example.*

His stoic and remorseless punishment of the Family contrasts with his mostly sweet human persona. He tries to convince Joan that he’s capable of the same love and compassion but she disagrees. I agree with her, I think John Smith and The Doctor both want to be in love, John just didn’t have all the emotional inhibitions that the Doctor does.

She also points out the Doctor’s failure to account for possible casualties just so he doesn’t have to have more death on his conscious. Once again, I agree, this was a massive oversight on his part.

————

Midnight. This episode is genius for so many reasons. It is the Doctor’s most dire misunderstanding of humanity, as well as the Doctor’s most personal look at being on the receiving end of humanity’s worse impulses. He begins socializing like a normal, if enthusiastic person. But once the mystery begins…it is the best, most subtle example of the Doctor’s pathological need to understand things and his tendency to assume authority over others. Only this time he goes too far. His leadership turns to hubris. So many times, he goads people into risking their life to sate his curiosity. He knows humans are curious and takes advantage.

He keeps talking to the entity but declares no one else should. Part of it is that human bit, curious and wanting to help a possessed Skye who he bonded with earlier by talking about missing Rose. The rules keep changing though, and even he is scared. They call him out for his hubris, while growing increasingly paranoid, especially when discovering he’s not human. He gets frustrated at the descent into the worst of humanity and without thinking, he snaps “because I’m clever!”

He knows what he’s done so impulsively: thrown away the last bit of goodwill he had. He can’t talk his way out anymore.

And this is the most alone and most afraid the Doctor has ever been. It’s the most horrific near-death encounter for him: his inability to be enough like the humans he loves brings the absolute worst out of them.

—————

The Doctor says that it something human to believe two contradictory things at once.

The Doctor, ironically enough, believes two contradictory things about humans.

He believes, at least when disappointed in them or in his lowest points, that humans are monsters. (It’s the reason Fourteen gives that randomly cynical speech in The Giggle. It isn’t all humanity he believes this of. He’s talking to himself because he’s mid breakdown. He’s not 10, he’s softer and more splintered).

But he doesn’t believe that. Not really.

“I was made homeless…and there was the Earth.” - Voyage of the Damned

There’s a reason that the Doctor who has all of time and space always returns to Earth.

In the End of Time, Ten and Wilf have a scene where they sit and talk about their relationship and war and Time Lords.

And the Doctor tells Wilf he’d be proud to be his son.

It’s the Doctor’s most intensely vulnerable moment. He is so terrified that he agrees to carry a gun. (He also does this to make Wilf feel better. This is the last era that I feel understands how The Doctor feels about guns. It makes sense to the character and the arc he’s on at this point and this point only. He doesn’t even use it and ultimately won’t do anything against the enemies he’s facing).

This scene strips down the Doctor like no other scene. And it’s in this scene that the Doctor tells us the only thing you need to know in the end about how he sees humans. How for all he says otherwise, humans are the beings he sees as aspirational, the ones he, a Time Lord, looks up to.

Wilf says, “We must look like insects to you.”

Ten smiles tearful but genuine. He shakes his head slightly. And he says:

“I think you’re like giants.”

[teenjiism]

it’s genuinely devastating to me that pete’s honesty and caring, empathetic words were so impactful on vegas because in the beginning, it was just basic human decency. and vegas has never even been shown that, the minimum. macau cares about him, yes, but it’s not the same because vegas is older and possibly has to shield macau from the trauma he has gone through. sure, pete being able to relate to him helped tremendously in vegas letting pete in, but even so, he just showed him kindness and vegas ate it up like a starving, desperate man.

and he kept taking and craving more, more of pete’s affection and care, more of his gentle words of reassurance and more of pete’s own desire. but vegas, a man so desperate to be loved and accepted, not as a monster but as a person, was never taught how to give back because he’s never been taught love. and he tries, because he does; he tends to pete’s wounds (inflicted by him, but still), he watches cooking videos to express his gratitude and feelings for pete, he jokingly teases him and pours his feelings into his sexuality. except while doing these, he either disregards what pete would need, or the world keeps proving to him that he’s undeserving of love.

he cooks for pete with such care, only for it to be ruined by his father, which leads to vegas almost losing pete because he cannot escape the cycle of abuse this easily — almost as if the universe is telling him that it’s not even worth trying, it’ll always be the same. he teases pete for being a fool, but pete doesn’t see it as a joke; he sees it as vegas using him as a dumb fucktoy who plays therapist sometimes. from what we’ve seen, vegas doesn’t seem to realize that pete is walking a very wobbly line of i don’t know why, but i’m into this and i deeply despise this and you and myself when it comes to vegas’ aggression, so initially, he doesn’t take pete very seriously after lashing out, when pete is clearly in agony. he’d been shown a way to express his feelings and he doesn’t see the nuances of it. it’s all desperate attempts to selfishly keep pete to himself — chaining him up still, begging him to stay with him, but he’s not conscious of his dismissal of pete, as his own person. he’s so caught up in this whirlwind of new feelings that while the answer to how to care for pete seems so obvious — listen to him, try to get to know him and mirror his openness, he doesn’t know how to do that. he was never shown and it’s not easy to learn and even harder to unlearn his toxic and aggressive behavioral patterns. he’s clearly trying, though.

because as soon as he realizes he has hurt pete and he’s part of the reason why pete is so miserable, he seems to realize what he’s done wrong. not right away, because he’s too agitated and overwhelmed by anger, hurt, desperation and pain, but when pete actually leaves him, it’s clear there’s a change in vegas. even when he talks to porsche — yes, it might have been for mostly selfish reasons, because he wanted to see pete, but he is not hiding behind any mask with porsche, either. he even goes as far as to defend kinn. and with pete, this time, he doesn’t beg for pete not to leave him. he lowers his guard, is open and vulnerable with pete because at this point, he’s realized he’s attached to pete, the real pete, even if he only saw glimpses of him. and he knows pete is conflicted about him — i think his apology is partly for that. because as much as he wants pete to be by his side, he doesn’t want to see pete suffer. he doesn’t like that having feelings for him is so burdensome on pete. he apologizes because he created this whole mess and pete deserves better. but at the same time, he knows pete wants vegas, not anybody else.

vegas didn’t need an angel to save him for him to drop his cruel mask, he needed someone to tell him his father’s abuse is not his fault and someone to empathize with him. but no one ever bothered with vegas, so he never got a chance to change before pete came into his life. and nobody was ever worth changing for, before pete.

[verityswritings]

How would yandere!Diavolo react when mc tells him why they wouldnt date him? They mention about how Dia cant take no for an answer and royal life will be too stressful.

Hmm interesting question. I hope the way I wrote him makes sense. Also sorry this took so long to answer.

Yandere Diavolo with Reader Who Rejects Him

So idk if this is like a well known fact but in one of Diavolo’s devilgram stories (the ‘Enchanted Pudding’ one to be specific) Diavolo acts as sort of a yandere. You’d have to read the story or the wiki page about the story for content, but he is obsessed with the mc in the story. Yet he has lots of self control so he acts completely normal and not as a ‘yandere.’

So I’d like to keep that in mind, that even if he is a yandere he doesn’t act on those tendencies. So this answer might be a bit boring or anticlimactic, but I don’t really think he would make you date him or anything. Diavolo doesn’t think it would be right for him to force you into a relationship with him. He wants you to be able to be independent and not to cage you up because of his selfishness.

He thinks it’s important for you to be able to make your own decisions about this and he understands where you are coming from. Dating royalty is definitely something that could be very overwhelming for you and he knows that he often forces people to do what he wants. But he cares for you very deeply and wouldn’t want to force you into an important decision like this if you truly didn’t want it.

And when I say all this, I don’t mean that Diavolo isn’t upset over this development. Of course he’s upset. He’s devastated, to put it lightly. And it’s not as if he hides this, he has no reason to. He finds there’s no reason to hide being upset over this, but he hides his unnaturally strong feelings over this. And he doesn’t take this out on you, mostly.

So what I’m basically trying to get at is that he wouldn’t make you be in a romantic relationship with him. He has too much respect for you for that. However, old habits die hard. Even if he wouldn’t pursue you anymore, he still finds himself forcing you to spend time with him. So he would find himself forcing you into a friendship with him. He doesn’t want to push your boundaries, but he feels he just can’t let go of you completely.

Forcing romantic relationships are off the table, but platonic relationships are totally different! At least to him. I mean, it’s not as if he’d be a bad friend or anything. Sure, I mean he wanted to lock you up to keep you all for himself when you decided you didn’t want to be in a relationship with him, but you wouldn’t ever know that. In fact, I don’t think you ever knew about Diavolo’s unnatural feelings. And you likely won’t ever know. To you, he’s always just the same old normal Diavolo.

A/N: sorry if this is bad but I just couldn’t imagine his character any other way. 😭

[canonicallyobserving911]

Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON Speculation

Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic

Chapter 7 is now available on AO3.

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Currently 7 chapters completed: 154.8K words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

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Here’s a snippet from one of Buck’s and Eddie late night conversations included in chapter 7. ___________

After several minutes of silence, Buck clears his throat and asks, “Do you ever think about how… it’s not worth it?”

It’s like déjà vu as realization sets in for Eddie because they’ve had this conversation before but their roles were reversed and the question hits him in the chest like a boulder has been dropped on top of it.  As he looks at him, he tries to keep his facial expression neutral but he’s not sure if Buck even notices since he quickly glances at him then looks away.

“Not the therapy. I—I mean…”  He runs his hand over his face and continues. “Is being born even worth it?”  He meets Eddie’s eyes.  “I mean with all the crap we have to put up with when… dealing with our parents… or in my case the people who brought me into this world.”

Eddie doesn’t interrupt but he does raise his eyebrows.

Buck clears his throat and nervously rubs his sweaty hands on his thighs to dry them on his pants.  “I wanted them to love me but they’ve always had their own selfish reasons for bringing me into the world so…”  He trails off.

A loud and uncomfortable silence engulfs the room.

Then after a few seconds, in a low voice, Buck continues.  “Maybe things would have been better if I was never born.”  He shrugs his shoulders.  “I mean my defective parts prevented me from being able to do the one thing I was born to do and since I couldn’t do that… I’m just wondering what’s the point of it all since I wasn’t meant to be here in the first place.”

Eddie’s heart shatters at Buck’s words because after all these years, he still hasn’t realized how important he is to them.  Not just to him and Chris but to Maddie, Bobby and the 118 since they all need him.

He’s trying to think of the best way to respond so Buck will understand he’s needed and wanted but before he has the chance to, Buck stands up and says, “Sorry… I should take a shower and go back to bed because it’s late”.

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Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

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Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are part of the foundation when a couple builds a long-lasting love relationship.

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Read chapters 1-7 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[dear-wormwoods]

Okay, I have 2 questions for you: 1) What do you think about people who say that if Cartman became abusive with Heidi it was Kyle just because he openly suggests that he would use Troll Trace to reveal Cartman's bigoted past and send the information to Heidi and because he only helped Heidi because he was in love ( honestly it's just make my blood boil) and 2) What do you think about Kitty Monk's video " Are Cartman and Kyle the same person? "

Ps. I'm happy that I'm not the only one who adore Kyle and thinks Rabbi Cartman was and awful person.

I’ll be honest anon, I kept putting off answering this because I wanted to actually watch the video you mentioned so I could properly give you thoughts on it but I truly do not have the time or energy to watch it. I’m assuming the whole video is about making Kyle’s actions out to be more terrible while downplaying Cartman’s so as to put them on ‘even ground’ and I’m simply not here for that kind of content. If I’m wrong, please let me know!

To answer the question the title poses: no, they are not the same person. At all.

Kyle has a conscience, which sets him apart from Cartman for obvious reasons. He feels bad when he does something wrong. He worries about how his actions affect other people. He even worries about and feels bad for Cartman, despite being the one person who really should get a free pass to not give a shit about him. He’s a dick in the same way a lot of kids are dicks, and that really isn’t comparable to Cartman’s behavior and total lack of remorse.

I imagine people who follow the ‘same person’ line of thinking would say things like “well Kyle laughed at Cartman getting HIV so Cartman was just teaching him a lesson, just like how Kyle tried teaching Cartman a lesson by making him ginger” or “Kyle blew up Toronto so he’s probably killed more people than Cartman ever did with Cthulhu.”

To those points I would say - Cartman’s reaction to Kyle laughing was disproportionate and to suggest otherwise or downplay the seriousness of intentionally giving someone HIV as ‘payback’ is ridiculous. Kyle was laughing at the irony of the person who constantly jokes about him getting AIDS being the one to end up getting it, and he clearly knew he was wrong to laugh about it which was why he excused himself so he wouldn’t do it in front of Cartman. It was a gut reaction that he knew was socially unacceptable. Cartman was completely out of line in his response by doing something which, as far as he knew at the time, would cause permanent damage to Kyle. The difference between that and the ginger thing is twofold: Kyle wasn’t really reacting to Cartman’s bigotry on behalf of himself, he was trying to come to the defense of actual Ginger kids who were now being bullied by other kids because of what Cartman was saying. He wanted to show Cartman what it was like to be on the other side of things for once. Kyle wasn’t motivated by selfishness or revenge. The other difference is that dying Cartman��s hair etc wasn’t permanent. He did not forever alter Cartman’s body or intentionally make him sick, he and the other kids made surface level, temporary changes. This is not equivalent to giving someone HIV - obviously.

The other thing… well, I’ll preface this by saying I don’t think that the Canada thing was handled well by the show. It did not really deal with the aftermath and how it weighed on Kyle’s conscience other than the two second scene where Ike tells him to stop being a victim. But I also understand that it’s difficult to like, reconcile that kind of devastation for a character who is so overcome by guilt that he wants to die over toilet papering someone’s house. Here’s the thing though, Kyle isn’t directly responsible for what happened. He feels responsible and it makes sense why he does, because it was his own emotional outburst that ultimately ‘swayed’ Garrison, but I truly don’t think he meant for that to happen. He was speaking from a place of hurt and trauma, after not feeling heard by his friends and supposedly safe adults, and finally, the wrong person listened to him. Garrison already had a vendetta against Canadians - he was itching to do something drastic. Ultimately it’s HIS fault. Compare this to Cartman using Cthulhu to knowingly and intentionally destroy San Francisco, who knows how many synagogues, etc… it’s not the same. Cartman knows what he’s doing, and he doesn’t care about how it impacts others. Kyle cares about the natural consequences of his actions, even the indirect ones.

I’m not sure if those points were even in the video but those are what came to my head. Ultimately, Kyle’s conscience will never allow him to be ‘the same person’ as Cartman. Suggesting that they’re on the same level is, I think, fundamentally misunderstanding both the characters and their relationship with each other.

As for Heidi, I’ve never heard anyone say it’s Kyle’s fault Cartman became abusive, but I’m not surprised it’s been said. Some people will just say anything to villainize Kyle and make Cartman more sympathetic. It sounds like something Cartman himself would say, or any other abuser - “oh, I only hurt you because of x y and z”. It’s removing accountability from Cartman, which is… insane to me. Maybe Kyle’s threat put pressure on Cartman, but it didn’t CAUSE him to become abusive. He was always going to become abusive. It’s just who he is. That’s like saying Butters caused Cartman to become abusive by laughing at Heidi’s jokes. Or saying it’s Heidi’s fault for expecting Cartman to put effort into their relationship and talk to her more. It’s gross. Cartman is responsible for his OWN jealousy and paranoia and whatever else contributed to the way his relationship with Heidi played out. Saying otherwise goes against one of the messages of the whole season - Cartman deflecting and placing blame on everyone else and victimizing himself was an abuse tactic in itself. Heidi saw herself going down that same road and chose to break the cycle and take responsibility for herself. People need to hold Cartman responsible for his own decisions, words, and actions.

When it comes to Kyle’s relationship to Heidi, I don’t even think he liked her let alone loved her. I think he helped her because he felt bad for her, could see that Cartman was abusing her, and knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of Cartman’s abuse. He didn’t even think he liked her at all until the girls told him he did, and it was easier for him to go along with that than to grapple with the complicated dynamic he has with Cartman. I do not think Kyle’s intention to help Heidi was selfish at all. It wasn’t about taking away Cartman’s girlfriend and making her like him instead. It was about helping someone he could tell was suffering.

Sorry this took so long to respond to! I’d be interested to know what points that video made but I’ll probably never watch it.