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juletheghoul · 3 years

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Oblivius Chapter 4

Am I insane for posting another chapter? Yes. Am I doing it anyway? Yes. Should you message me about how you feel about Spills & Francis? YES!

(Got a song you want added to the playlist? send it to me!)

I've gotten so much love over this series and I cannot tell you how happy it makes me that you guys love these two idiots as much as I do. <3

(Feo means ugly in Spanish but it can be used as a term of endearment between [male] friends)

Likes & reblogs are appreciated

Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Pairing: Frankie x F!Reader

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings: Angst, yearning, 18+ language, alcohol (Spills gets wasted)(Please let me know if I forget anything)

Masterlist Series Masterlist Part 3 Part 5 Playlist

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Age: 17

“No Francis I don’t wanna watch this - I’m gonna get scared.” It was late, you were both sitting in his cozy living-room, a big shit-eating grin on his face.

“Why, are you chicken? It’s just The Shining, it's not even scary.” He put it on and despite your protests, he settled and let the movie play, You gave him a pout.

“Okay if you really don’t want to I’ll change it you big baby.” He rolled his eyes to grab the remote but you stopped him.

“Promise you’ll walk me home?” You knew it was one of his favourites. He smiled wide.

“Of course! If it’s too much I'll change it.” He gave you most of the blanket that was draped over his legs and you sat very close to him. He was taller than you remembered him being, having gone through a growth spurt over the summer and he towered over you now. All knees and elbows.

When the room scene came on you burrowed your face into his neck and he wrapped an arm around you, you were so pretty. Your hair smelled so good and he buried his nose into the messy bun you wore. You practically clawed at him, trying to get closer - he made you feel safe.

“Is it still scary?” You spoke into his neck.

“Yes - don’t look yet, just a little longer.”

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**Present Day**

Pope was holding up a shot-glass full of something and there were shots lined up for the three of you when you walked in.

“Catfish, I never thought it would happen for you feo, but I’m glad it did. Claudia, he’s lucky to have you.” He raised his shot glass and a chorus of ‘To Frankie and Claudia’ rang out before everyone tipped the liquor back.

The burn in the back of your throat couldn’t just be from the tequila, you’d swallowed a lump. You’d forced back the tears stinging your eyes when he dipped her back to kiss her. With her laughing and grabbing his neck they were the picture of romance and the smile you had plastered to your face must have looked manic. Popes eyes caught yours then and his eyebrows raised, a question in his features that you couldn’t quite read but he looked away and left you with your thoughts.

You got very drunk. Fall-down drunk. Forget about everything drunk.

“Spills, I think you should stop - you’re going to feel like hell tomorrow.” He was softly taking the shot out of your hand and you tried to fight him but his grip was iron.

“St-op t-telling me wh-what to do Francisco.” You tried to take it back but it seemed like the floor was coming up to say hi. An iron grip around your middle stopped you from losing a couple of teeth.

“Jesus Spills, okay - that’s enough. I’m cutting you off.” He held onto you and you wanted nothing more than to turn around and kiss him but you also wanted to throw up. Decisions decisions.

“I-think-imgonnabesick…” you brought your hand up to your mouth and part of you expected him to let go but he didn’t.

“Take a deep breath, it’s okay, Pope can you get me some water?” He was holding onto you, rubbing soothing circles onto your back and you tried to focus on his hands on you as the whole room spun dangerously. A few minutes later he was holding a cold glass of water to your lips. “Drink the whole thing, I'm going to hold it because if you spill it I'll kill you.” You chugged it down and he put it on the table.

“When did you get so strong, Francis?” Your words were slurred and you felt his chest rumbling with laughter at your question. “You smell so good.” You said it lower- more to yourself, but he heard and the laughing stopped.

“Oh no! Are you okay Spills?” Claudia was there now, her hands pulling your hair away from your face and before you could succumb to the urge to tell her never to call you that Frankie spoke up.

“She’s okay, just need to get her home. You’re okay right, Spills?” His voice was lower, so soothing you could fall asleep to it.

“Hey Frankie, you and Claudia should stay, tell me where she lives and I’ll get her home.” It was Pope, Frankie must have trusted him immensely because before you knew it he was putting you into the front seat of Pope's rental and buckling you in. Claudia was tying your hair back and putting your purse into your lap.

“Be careful please - this is her address, just make sure she gets in and lays face down. There should be a bucket somewhere in her bathroom - water and some aspirin on her night table.” Frankie was talking as you closed your eyes. When you opened them you were parked in front of your place.

“Hey honey, come on let's get you inside. I’m just going to look for your keys, okay?” Pope was taking your purse out of your lap. You nodded vaguely.

He helped you in and guided you to your bed. You could feel him taking off your shoes and throwing the blanket over you.

-----

Someone is driving an ice-pick into my skull.

The light was intense and you swore out loud when you cracked an eye open. You stretched and felt a piece of paper beside you on the bed.

“I locked your door - keys are in your mailbox. Drink the water - take the ibuprofen. Let Catfish know you’re okay when you wake up- he was worried. - Pope”

You groaned.

[Francis]: Spills, are you okay?

[Francis]: Can you answer me please?

[Francis]: Don’t tell me you’re still asleep? What, are you a teenager? Getting drunk and sleeping until 4pm????

[Francis]: Sorry Spills, just worried - can you please let me know you’re okay before I show up?

You could see the three little dots signalling that he was in the middle of typing another message and you quickly called him to stop him.

“Jesus, it’s about fucking time.” He sounded worried and relieved and it pulled on your heart strings in a way you both loved and hated.

“Stop yelling Francisco, I am begging you.” You threw your arm over your eyes to block out the light as you lay there, in yesterday's clothes. You didn’t even want to know what you looked like right now.

“Feeling all that tequila aren’t you? I haven’t seen you that drunk for a long time.” You could hear the faint smile in his voice.

“Yes yes I know - so fucking embarrasing. Did I do.. Or say anything..?” You were trying to ask him without asking him.

“You almost threw up, but if you’re asking me if you started table-dancing you’re good.” He laughed and you sighed with palpable relief. All you needed was for him to tell you that you’d confessed your love or told Claudia to fuck off.

“Thank god. That would have been all I needed. Can you tell Pope I said thanks? Okay, I'm going to go shower for a million years now.” You wanted to hang up, your head was pounding and you needed a few hours of silence and about a gallon of water.

“Okay - see you in a few hours.” You didn’t want to deal with both of them together, not with how you felt right now.

“No Francis I don’t want to entertain, I already embarrassed myself enough yesterday.”

“It’s just me coming and I’ve seen you much worse. I haven’t been home in a long time so, take a shower and do what you have to do and I'll be there at seven.” He hung up and you could have thrown your phone across the room.

Fuck.

---

The knock at the door at exactly seven didn’t surprise you.

What did surprise you was how nervous you were that he would be coming over.

You were literally attached at the hip at one point, he’s seen you at your worst.

“You’re looking much better than you did last night, Spills.” He laughed as he walked past you and into your home.

“Oh god.” You groaned as he laughed, why had you been nervous? You watched him as he set down the bags of what looked to be way too much food on your kitchen counter. Grabbing napkins and forks - completely at ease within your space. “What did you bring?” moved to peak into the bags.

“Chinese - “ He looked to see your eyes wide and the big toothy smile you were giving him and laughed. “Did you think I’d forget you always get Chinese when you’re hungover?” He laughed as he took out what looked to be all your favourites.

“You’re a lifesaver Francis, truly.” You were practically bouncing on the balls of your feet as you served yourself.

“I know, I’m practically a saint.” He walked over to your couch and plopped down, an egg-roll in his mouth as he turned on your TV and looked for something to watch. This was it - this was how it was supposed to be.

This was easy.

He had come over in comfy clothes and seeing him on your couch in sweats and a soft flannel was almost too much. His hair had gotten longer than he had worn it before he went away and it looked so soft; practically begged for your fingers.

“Are you still a baby about horror movies?” He asked without looking at you, you saw that he had put on some cheesy zombie movie. A big smile on his face.

“No, I’m okay, as long as you check every single corner of this place before you leave.”

“God I love horror movies, Claudia hates them so we never end up watching.” He sighed. Her name cut through the air like a knife. An ice cube casually dropped into your shirt.

“That’s too bad.” You quickly shoved food into your mouth, stopping yourself from saying anything you’d regret but he knew you too well. He looked at you then, eyes narrowing a fraction.

“Do you like her?” He asked, point blank and your eyes widened at him.

Fuck, don’t make me answer this right now.

“Yeah, she’s great.” To your credit, you tried. You really tried to sound genuine.

“Why don’t you like her Spills?” He sighed heavily, putting his plate down onto your coffee table to face you properly.

“What are you talking about? I said she was great!” You could feel the flush creeping up your neck and licking at your face at the lie. She was great, that wasn’t a lie - you just didn’t like her.

“Seriously? You’re going to act like I can’t tell you’re lying through your teeth? Just tell me! I’m going to marry this girl. I have to know why you don’t like her.” He had a little frown on his face and you could see that he was worried, but what would he have to be worried about? Worried you’d picked up on something he’d missed maybe?

“I just don’t know her, Francis, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with her, you know I'm just weird. She seems really nice and I’m sure I’ll like her once I get to know her better.” You smiled at him sadly, you didn’t want to talk about her anymore.

He smiled back at you and picked up his plate, happy with your explanation.

---

It always seemed to happen this way, ever since you’d been teenagers. He’d put on something scary and you would end up with your face buried into his chest.

“Oh god - that is disgusting!” You shut your eyes as he laughed, his chest rumbling underneath you at a particularly gruesome scene. You felt his hand rubbing your arm, and it was such a comfort that you sighed lightly. The words bubbled up without your permission.

“I missed this.” You felt him rest his chin on the crown of your head.

“Me too Spills, I always missed this while I was away, missed you.” He spoke into your hair, you could feel his breath ghosting along your scalp and your heart raced, you wanted nothing more than to turn and kiss him. His hand stilled, and you felt his heart beating under your ear. You wanted to do it, your whole body seemed to tense with want and you turned slightly to look at him through your lashes. He was already staring at you, his mouth was so close.

His phone rang, snapping him out of his trance and you moved away from him reluctantly.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” He smiled apologetically. “Just take a deep breath, it’ll be okay. I’m on my way.” He hung up and gave you a look that said I’m sorry. “Gotta go, wedding emergency.” He sighed heavily as he got up, taking both your plates to the kitchen with him.

You wanted him to stay, you wanted to grab him and sit him back down on the couch and straddle him. Grab the soft material of the flannel while you kissed him but you didn’t. Instead you smiled and thanked him for coming and for the food.

He made his way through the apartment before he left, opening every door.

“Just checking every corner, so you can sleep.” He smiled.

I love you too.

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#pedro pascal #frankie x reader #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #francisco catfish morales #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier #francisco morales #francisco morales x reader #oblivius #frankie x female reader #frankie x you #frankie x f!reader

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amazingphilza · 3 years

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maniac :: cc!tommy x reader

angst (?) , platonic (?) , gender neutral ! ib: conan gray’s maniac

this is satire & note that i write the reader to be a few months younger than tommy (besides that, i think it is fully inclusive !)

synopsis : you put all your hard work towards a useless crush. with no expectation for reciprocated feelings in the first place, it still all ends in a bittersweet slap to reality.

you grew up with minecraft and it was an understatement to say it was part of your childhood

even years later, you still maintained interested in the game

it wasn’t just a simple video game, the community inspired you to do many things

you aspired to be like the creators you watched at a young age like sky, dantdm, cupquake, stampy, and many more

making people happy and entertained was a dream

and when minecraft slowly began trending again in 2019, you started making your own content whenever you felt like it out of fun

you never got much views but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless

but it wasn’t until the first minecraft monday you decided to push a bit more with your hobbies and worked hard to make it somewhere

however balancing your passions with school wasn’t the easiest

given, you were still only around 15 and your content wasn’t even that good

with not much of a goal or plan with your youtube channel, you fell out of interest eventually

you loved minecraft but you always a rocky relationship with it; getting back into it for a few months then pretending it never really existed for another few

besides the occasional videos you watched in your pass time, you didn’t stay that updated

then lockdown happened

it changed everything and even got you regressing back to old interests

soon enough you were back to minecraft

there was so much to catch up on

hermitcraft season 7 just started, there was minecraft championships, and smp earth and smp live, and so much more to look forward to watching

you were a bit late on both of the smps but your interest peaked specially towards smp earth and it didn’t stop you from watching the past videos

you first gravitated towards a certain youtuber’s videos first since you remember stumbling onto his videos before from your recommended page; wilbur soot

besides recognizing him from his you laugh you lose series and making parody-type of songs, you didn’t know much

however with a few clicks, you had binge watched his smp earth series effortlessly

you found yourself falling down the endless hole, finding more creators to watch through wilbur

one in particular caught your eye in an interesting way

tommyinnit

my god, how can someone be so annoying and pushy in these videos? like shut up already

and to find out he was barely months older than you frustrated you

you just wanted to be better in some way

if someone like him could be popular, why can’t you? yelling at others and causing problems didn’t seem that hard

and so you went back to working hard on your previously failed youtube channel but this time with a goal; be better than tommyinnit

it was a weird aspiration in your head but it worked

he was your age and successful, why need a better motivator?

tommy wasn’t the sole reason why you strive to make content since you truly did want to create videos to entertain people like the youtubers you originally grew up watching

and with the amount of free time you had, you thoroughly analyzed his content; what was the most popular, how he streamed, edited his videos, everything

you just completely studied the algorithm in general

along the way, tommy’s personality grew on you

tommy was undoubtedly a very loud and energetic person but you became fond of his ambitions

you understood why he was popular at such a young age; he was a natural entertainer

your spite towards the boy turned into a hope

a hope to be at par with him someday and even be mutuals

and it was like your dreams were suddenly manifested into existence

you gained a large following in the early months of lockdown and even was recognized to be apart of minecraft championships

it felt like yesterday that you were just watching your favorite youtubers livestream the same competition

and now you were situation in a team to play yourself for the first time instead of being a viewer for once

not to mention, with tommyinnit as a teammate

how did you manage to get so lucky?

under the excitement, you felt beyond never nervous waiting in the empty discord call for your team to join you to practice the mini-games

in the middle of gathering your thoughts together, you heard a sound from discord signaling someone joined the call

“uh, hello?”

you heard the familiar british accent you spent hours listening to from countless streams and videos

“h-hi! i’m y/n, how are you?”

you hoped tommy couldn’t hear the strain in your voice due to fighting your nerves, but you quietly celebrated that you didn’t freeze up altogether

“oh i’m good, thank you. and i’m tommy by the way, this is the first time we’re speaking, yeah?”

“yep! it’s nice to meet you”

“yeah, i’ve seen your name around the timeline a few times, you seem cool”

oh my god what?

“thanks! um i actually really enjoy your content not gonna lie”

“oh wow, good shit!”

and the conversation smoothly went on, bouncing back and forth between you two before your other two teammates joined the call

once everyone was situated, you decided to start streaming since it was your first mcc and you wanted a vod of you practicing to look at later on as a memory

your chat immediately noticed how much you were enjoying yourself, especially after all the short stories of talking about who inspired you in the past

the smile plastered on your face never left

after stream and your other teammates went offline, it was you and tommy left in the call once together again

“it was nice talking to you tommy! and the practice was really fun, i cant wait for the actual competition!”

“yeah definitely, we’ll for sure place high”

“hopefully. it’s my first time and i hope i don’t cost us the dub”

“nah, you think so? i mean rt and plumbella are also our team mates so you know, it’s all for fun in the end”

you knew tommy was implying the teamwork wasn’t going to be the best compared to the other teams but at least in the end you’ve both made a new friend

“yeah you’re right!”

“anyway it’s getting late imma hop off”

“okay tommy, talk to you soon?”

“yep!”

“alright byee”

“bye!”

the moment he left the call, you felt a sense of relief before a small wave of sadness took over

you wanted to continue talking to tommy but you knew you had other responsibilities to tend to

for the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking of the call and mcc practice

the funny jokes, singing random songs, screaming for no reason, everything

it even kept you awake until the early morning

you buried your head in a pillow and screamed into it after realization hit

y/n no

no no no no no no no

you tried to recall anything that remotely related your other teammates which you remembered that didn’t include tommy

even if it was a few hours ago, you couldn’t pin point something specific

i must just be forgetful, right?

what the hell did rt and plumbella even say that whole call?

you vividly remembered everything with tommy and it was clear to you why

surely not

with putting a hand on your chest above your heart, you confirmed that you couldn’t lie to yourself based on the rapid speed

you liked tommy for a good while but it hadn’t clicked to you until now

eventually you fell asleep due to exhaustion but that’s to say you didn’t do so without imagining spending more time with tommy

ever since that day, time went by in a flash

your team didn’t do the best in mcc but it had been a while since then to have that as a concern

sadly you and tommy didn’t talk as often as you hoped but that didn’t make you have less feelings for him

on some days you felt bad since you thought you didn’t know enough about him to even be allowed to crush on him

it was a bit unprofessional but you were nearly 16, it’s normal to have these little crushes right?

eventually time came to rescue when tommy asked you if you wanted to accompany him in the dream smp

undoubtedly, you said yes

and for the few months during summer, it was where you two became even closer than before

however, once both of you two had to go back and attend school, it was harder to catch up with each other

even on calls together off stream, the occasional snapchat notification going off irked you in a way you couldn’t explain

only winter break was the small pause on your disappointment

but even then, it was a slow but steady hill of repressed sadness and frustration until early spring of the following year

you had hoped 2021 would be better than last year but after scrolling through twitter one day and seeing stans making rumors about how tommy had a crush on one of his classmates gave you the same pain you felt when school started last fall

you dreaded to look over at tommy’s most recent story time stream vod where all the gossip arose from; it was him stumbling over his words with the mention of a girl during a certain part

jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe the way you felt

you would never go out of your way to make tommy reciprocate the feelings you had for him

and if he liked someone else the way you saw him, you wouldn’t mind

having a crush is ecstatic, and if he has someone like that too, you should be happy

right?

you tried

what finally broke you was seeing a tiktok a few weeks later of tommy in college with eryn and another girl talking

you didn’t know how she looked like or anything but you wanted to sob

good for him

she didn’t even say much in the video and you dont know enough about tommy’s personal life to jump to conclusions like this

you knew you were acting irrational and you couldn’t be upset at tommy for something he couldn’t control

if anything, you never directly showed interest in him

you didn’t want to in the first place

it was a bad idea from the start

you looked back at the past year and all your intentions

what kind of sick fanfiction did you think you were living?

becoming a content creator, hoping to blow up, just to talk to a big youtuber you had a crush on?

oh my god

y/n what is wrong with you?

listen to yourself, y/n

you need to get some help

whether tommy was dating or even just had interest someone was none of your business

you had to move on no matter what it was and be good and supportive friend

it was dreadful to get over a stupid crush like this but after so much work you put in, you gave some sympathy for yourself

in a friend perspective, you were happy with whatever tommy did and was satisfied your friendship together, but you hadn’t realized how much you gambled from the beginning

and just for a crush?

you couldn’t comprehend how far you gone because you fancied someone

it wasn’t like anyone could get famous and become a popular content creator either

and now with you being on the dream smp along with a successful youtube channel at 16? you were grateful something pushed you enough to work this hard

but you’d never forget the fact everything that lead up to this point was a crush on no other than tommyinnit which first spurred from complete spite

“who’s the one better off now?” your thoughts mocked you from the complete irony

sigh

y/n, you maniac

#idk whether to actually call this platonic but it’s not exactly romance so #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit fanfic #tommyinnit imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x you #mcyt fanfic #mcyt imagine

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mittensmorgul · 4 years

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it’s a bummer to see you can’t enjoy the ending. I hope someday you can come around it it. It wasn’t perfect but it didn’t nuke its integrity. i think the heart of the show really shines through and it’s a shame that it’s not being appreciated bc there’s so much shipping drama 😣

Hi there!

I... first of, I really need people to understand this... the travesty of the finale for me has almost nothing to do with “shipping drama.”

Yes, I see the wild conspiracy theories flying around, and I’m honestly concerned for some of those folks and hope they can find a way to make peace with this in whatever way they can, because we aren’t likely to ever get a better answer than that this is legitimately the ending that Dabb thought was best, despite years of us seeing the best of his writing choices and guiding Sam, Dean, and Cas to grow past the roles that Chuck would’ve forced them to fulfill, and that at the end it fell flat because he couldn’t actually come up with a better ending than “this was always their destiny, free will is a lie, and these characters had nothing outside of the revenge quest they’d been raised for since birth and manipulated into over and over for the entertainment of a vengeful god.”

I can see how “surface level” viewers would feel that this one basic narrative point was satisfying, that Sam and Dean had grown beyond their own hopeless cycle of self-sacrifice that had driven the narrative for so many years. The fact that they both acknowledged that they should allow their stories to end in that way was satisfying... but only in the shallowest and most detached read of the narrative. Like, is this really the ONLY thing these two characters learned in the last 15 years? If so, that is BEYOND depressing af.

And even THAT message lost all narrative weight when the two of them were once again reunited in death, as if nothing else had ever mattered in their lives. As if neither of them had ever outgrown the codependency that had driven so many of those previous self-sacrifices and refusals to let go of each other even in death.

So yeah, in the absolute most basic sense, I suppose I can see how casual viewers or people who aren’t actually invested in these characters could find that at least narratively coming back to a starting point.

But narratives don’t actually work that way, and that’s not the point of watching fifteen years of story develop in between.

This story wasn’t JUST about Sam and Dean needing to accept that death might be okay actually.

This story was also about free will, fighting for humanity as a whole but also their OWN humanity and self-identities. In Dean’s case, the absolutely transformative growth from feeling like nothing but a hammer, a killer, a tool to be used. And then less than an episode and a half later, after finally accepting that truth into his heart and using it to defeat the original creator and reclaim the story of his own life for himself... he gets pied in the face after flippantly talking about his destiny and having no choice, and then three scenes later he literally dies impaled on a great big nail... like a hammer...

So I would kindly ask folks who feel satisfied by that shallowest possible takeaway of this episode, and maybe invite folks to look just under that surface. Try to understand why loads of us will NEVER feel satisfied with this ending, and why it truly does feel like the most hopeless version of the story. Like even in defeating Chuck, they could never be allowed to own their own stories and what happened to them after that point was just a twisted version of the “destiny” that drove Chuck’s entire plotline for them anyway.

Please understand where we’re seeing this as horrifically painful irony rather than some beautiful circular narrative about letting go.

For a lot of us, the shipping stuff would’ve been the cherry on top of the sundae. We would’ve been happy with a scoop of plain vanilla, though. We would’ve been happy for anything that honored the journey to freedom, and the choice at any sort of a different life of their own making than literally falling back on a nail fighting off one of John’s unresolved hunts and a vampire who had literally never been named in canon before, yet who Dean instantly recognized somehow...

but sure, for those of us who felt that “the heart of the show” was all the stuff that the finale actually erased-- that “family don’t end in blood,” and that this was actually not a show about just two brothers but the love of their found family and coming to terms with the choices they actually HAD made for themselves versus the narrative that Chuck kept centering them in DESPITE what they would choose for themselves, the finale basically told us no, everything you ever found of value in this story actually meant nothing. It told us that Chuck’s story for them was their only truth in the end, and their only freedom was to be found in death.

Please, I am begging people, stop trying to gaslight us that this was some beautiful ending. Maybe think for a second that “your read” of the narrative that allows you to find peace with the ending is not what we saw and loved about this story for the 326 episodes leading up to this finale.

And please try to understand that we were not wrong to see the entire narrative through this lens. Because we were literally validated IN CANON, and told that we understood the depth of the story and the characters just fine, actually. There’s literally ONE episode of the entire series that burns it all down in a bewildering pile of wtf. And that’s #327. That throws that entire read out the window to well actually us all back into Chuck’s literal ending... This was literally the ending Chuck wanted to force them to enact for him, and it’s what ended up happening even after they defeated him-- the ultimate Big Bad of the entire series should’ve been defeated, but instead he pulled off one final victory over the entire story.

Becky: No. You can't-- Chuck: I did. Becky: Y- This is just an ending. Chuck: Yeah. I don't know how I'm gonna get there, but I know where I'm goin'. Becky: B-But it's so... dark. Chuck: But great, right? I can see it now -- "Supernatural: The End". And the cover is just a gravestone that says "Winchester". The fans are gonna love it. Well? Becky: It's awful! Horrible. It's hopeless. You can't do this to the fans. What you did to Dean? What you did to Sam? Chuck: There, see? It's making you feel something. That's good, right?

and

Dean: Well, what now? You're not gonna dust us. Chuck: Oh, yeah? Why not? Dean: Because you're holding out. For your big finish. Yeah, we know about your galaxy-brained idea, how you think this story is gonna go. Sam got a little look into your draft folder. Chuck: Sam's visions -- they weren't drafts. They were memories. My memories. Other Sams and other Deans in other worlds. But guess what. Just like you, they didn't think they'd do it, either. But they did. And you will, too. Dean: No. Not this Sam. And not this Dean. So you go back to Earth 2 and play with your other toys. Because we will never give you the ending that you want. Chuck: We'll see.

And even in DEFEAT Chuck thought he understood these characters, thought that having rendered him powerless they would finally take their revenge and kill him, but they didn’t, because he never actually understood these characters at all. And the story he tried to force them into from day one was never about THEM, it was about HIM.

And then Dean gets like two whole days of freedom and choice and is apparently incapable of making any of the choices that don’t throw him immediately back into Chuck’s favorite story. Like none of that resolution in the previous episode meant anything at all. He even SAYS it in the finale:

Dean: Yeah, no. I think about 'em, too. You know what? That pain's not gonna go away. Right? But if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing.

And then two scenes later the show gives us the Nelson Muntz HA HA and Dean is no longer living, and Sam is left to carry on as a shell of himself and wander off into Blurry Wife Land to devote any even remotely content moment of the rest of his years to raising a Replacement Dean to fill the void, and is never able to pick up the pen to write anything better of his own life than Chuck would’ve dealt him in the first place.

So I’m glad that top-layer takeaway is sustaining and enough for you. It wasn’t, and will never be enough for the rest of us.

What was actually real in all of this? We were.

Until we weren’t.

And that’s honestly a shit message to be pushing on people in the wake of it all. So please stop.

I should actually thank you for the kind intent with which your message is phrased, but that doesn’t make it feel less hilariously awful. Though I chose this one to reply to as the least insulting of all the messages currently in my inbox on this subject. So thanks for that, at least.

#spn 15.20 #aka that one episode of supernatural that doesn't really exist #because you either get to have the first 326 or the finale #they're literally narratively incompatible in all but the shallowest possible takeaway here #i chose the other 326 because those are where the actual heart of the show lies #it was set on fire and buried in 327 #Anonymous

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heyyyharry · 4 years

Text

Double Date

(a blurb from the Flatmate series)

…in which “I don’t want whoever I end up dating to feel second to you.”

Word count: 2.4k

This is inspired by the song ’gold rush’ from Taylor’s new album ‘evermore’. This song reminds me so much of the flatmate babiesssss.

Harry didn’t believe in his own ears.

His flatmate?

Going on a date?

No way.

But why would she lie about that? And he knew she hadn’t made that shit up, because the guy existed, and Harry had spoken to him and seen Y/N have a conversation with him several times before. However, never would Harry have thought that the two of them would go on a date. He couldn’t even imagine them holding hands. It was just bizarre. Also, Y/N never went out, and she hated people. Did she know that ‘dating’ required being around a person all the time? It would never work.

“You’re going on a date?” Harry asked as he followed her into the kitchen.

“No,” she answered flatly.

“Okay, then can I come with?”

“No!” cried Y/N as she shoved him aside to get to the fridge.

Harry huffed like an angry child as he leaned back against the wall, arms crossed. “If he’s just a friend, why can’t I come with you?”

“Because it’d be weird! You don’t know my friend.”

“Not true. I had two classes with him last semester.”

“Oh yeah? What’s his name?”

Harry’s mouth froze as he opened it and realised he didn’t know the answer. Y/N shut the fridge door and started drinking her milk slowly with an eyebrow raised, waiting for the answer that he didn’t have.

“Okay, fine,” he sighed. “Who the fuck cares what his name is? It’s shady that you don’t want me to hang out with him.”

“He didn’t invite you.”

“But he wouldn’t mind if you did because we’re all friends, aren’t we?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. She didn’t comment and just brushed right past him. Harry knew it was her way of ending the conversation, so he hurriedly followed her out of the kitchen. She flopped down onto the couch and he came to sit beside her. She grabbed the remote to turn the telly on. He snatched it away, forcing her to stay in the conversation. He wasn’t going to let this end so easily. His need to win all the time was his most toxic trait, according to Layla. But oh well, nobody’s perfect. He had to have at least one flaw.

“Are you ashamed of me?”

“No.” Y/N scrunched up her face and reached for the remote. Harry immediately sat on it. “Hey!”

He ignored her reaction. “Then why don’t you want me to go with you and your ‘friend’ to this concert?”

“It’s not a concert. It’s an acoustic night at a cafe.”

“I still wanna go.”

“You’re annoying.” Y/N aggressively hugged a pillow to her chest and turned away from him.

Harry felt guilty. He might have said too much. If he was aware of him being annoying, it must be worse for her. And he never wished to upset her. He just didn’t want her to go on this ‘not really a date’ date.

“What if I bring someone?” he asked, breaking the silence.

Y/N glared at him. “Like...a girl?”

“Or Niall.” He shrugged. “Depends.”

He expected her to be jealous or at least showed that she was jealous. To his disappointment, she gave a nonchalant shrug and said, “Okay.”

“Okay I can go if I bring someone?”

“Sure, then you’ll have someone else to annoy.”

Harry chuckled as he looked at her while she looked somewhere else. “You could be so mean sometimes.”

She rolled her eyes and gave a smirk. “Thank you.”

AJ. That was Y/N’s date’s name.

Why would anyone want to name their child AJ? It was like his parents didn’t even try. Harry hated to be an arsehole. Well, not really. But yeah, he fucking hated this dude.

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this,” Layla mumbled and shot Harry a glare as they followed AJ and Y/N to their table.

“It’d be embarrassing if I’d gone with Niall,” Harry whispered to Layla as they took their seats facing the other two, who were too caught up in their conversation to pay attention to all this shady whispering.

“Just pick another one from your long list of hoes,” Layla said.

“Well, I don’t want to make anyone think I’m taking them on a date.” He flashed her a smile. “So I picked you.”

Layla rolled her eyes and picked up the menu. “Wait. They don’t have anything with alcohol?” she asked aloud.

“Try this vanilla drink. So you wouldn’t be so fucking bitter all the time.”

Layla smacked Harry on the arm for his comment. Out of the corners of his eyes, he saw Y/N holding back a laugh by biting her lip. If only she knew how cute she looked tonight wearing that babydoll dress and her hair up in a ponytail. He wanted to tell her, but it’d be weird, wouldn’t it? They never complimented each other. And knowing how anxious he’d get, he’d probably say some dumb shit like comparing her to a ghost or something.

“The drinks aren’t the best,” AJ said after the waiter had left with their orders. “But the music is great. My favourite band is playing tonight.”

“Oh, what’s the band’s name?” Y/N asked.

“The Muse.”

“Never heard of them,” Harry said nonchalantly and received a glare from Y/N. He gave her a subtle shrug.

“Well, they’re a small band. But they’re great,” AJ said, smiling.

Layla tapped Harry on the shoulder and leaned in to whisper to him, “He’s handsome and respectful. You don’t stand a chance.”

“You don’t think I’m handsome and respectful?” he asked her, raising an eyebrow.

Layla scoffed. “Handsome, yes. But you’re a hoe.”

Harry was so used to Layla’s sense of humour, he didn’t find these comments offensive at all, just funny, and kinda true. He was far from a saint. “Is that coming from a certified hoe?” he jokingly asked.

Layla smirked and pushed his face away. “Shut the fuck up.”

Harry let out a laugh, shaking his head. When he looked up, he caught Y/N staring. She turned away as quickly as she could but was unable to hide her blushing. Had she been checking him out? He wasn’t complaining. It was flattering, to say the least. With her date sitting right there.

“Stop.”

He flinched and turned back to Layla. “What?”

“Stop looking at AJ like he murdered your cat. You’re being embarrassing right now.”

“We’re not actually on a date, Layla.”

“I know.” Layla sighed. “That’s why I’m tolerating you.”

Their drinks were served just in time the opening act - a lady singing Taylor Swift songs - ended, and the main act arrived. Four men stepped on the stage and started setting up their instruments. The main singer introduced themselves as The Muse, and the first song they were going to sing had some weird symbolistic name that Harry forgot as soon as he’d heard it. He was too busy watching Y/N. AJ whispered something into her ear, making her giggle and Harry’s blood boil.

He was most familiar with that laugh. He’d made her laugh like that all the time. Well, yes, it was kinda weird to be gatekeeping someone’s laugh. But the fact that Y/N found this boring bloke funny made Harry’s skin crawl.

Suddenly, Harry caught Layla’s warning stare, so he swallowed his jealousy and took a sip of his coffee, which had already got cold.

The Muse sang two or three songs in a row and interacted with the audience in between little breaks. Meanwhile, AJ entertained Harry, Y/N, and Layla with his boring stories about his academic achievements. Also, he kept bragging about him being able to cook. We get it, Ratatouille, Harry thought. Go open a restaurant in Paris or something!

What Harry found more annoying than this guy having all the qualities a woman would look for in her future husband, was the fact that Y/N was completely infatuated. If she was just being nice, she should win an Oscar for Best Actress.

“Question,” Layla whispered to Harry when AJ and Y/N were lost in their own world again. “Will I be your plus one to their wedding?”

“Shut up,” he scoffed.

Layla shrugged. “I hear wedding bells ringing. Don’t you?”

Fuck bells. Fuck weddings. Fuck AJ. Fuck Layla. Harry wanted to say fuck Y/N, too. But he had a crush on her so he couldn’t hate her. Fuck this whole place. Fuck everyone except for his Y/N.

“Would any of you like to come on stage and perform with us?” asked the lead singer of The Muse.

“Ooooh, this is my favourite part!” AJ said, his green eyes twinkling.

Fuck this dude, Harry thought bitterly, for being handsome.

“You’re gonna sing?” Y/N asked AJ.

“Nah, I suck at singing,” AJ said. “I play the drums, though.”

“I bet you do,” Harry muttered, but it seemed like everyone had heard him. He responded to Y/N’s questioning look with an awkward grin.

“What about you, Harry?” Layla suggested, obviously wanting to start some shit as always. “Would you like to sing?”

“Harry can’t sing,” Y/N said quickly.

Harry blinked at her in surprise. “Hey, I can sing. It’s just I don’t want to.”

“Oh, it’d be fun.”

“No, thank you, AJ,” Harry said between gritted teeth.

AJ looked quite offended. Fortunately, Layla came for the rescue. “I’ll do it,” she shouted with her hand raised. Everyone broke into applause as she got up and made her way to the stage.

“Can she sing?” Y/N asked Harry.

He sighed and lifted his shoulders in a half-shrug. “We could only hope.”

Layla strutted up the steps and waved at Harry, Y/N, and AJ. Suddenly, her heel was caught by a wire, and she tripped, falling headfirst into the lead singer. She knocked them both right off the stage against one of the tables and had the drinks spilt all over them.

Harry was frozen in shock until Layla’s cries snapped him out of it and sent him to his feet as he rushed up to help her.

“You got drunk on vanilla?” Harry asked while trying his best not to laugh at Layla being covered in strawberry smoothies.

“Shut the fuck up!” she cried. “I wanna go home!”

“Is she okay?” Y/N asked.

“No, bitch. Do I look okay to you?!”

“I’ll take her home,” Harry said, helping Layla up and receiving angry looks from the other band members, who were checking up on their friend. The lead singer didn’t break any bones. Thank God. Sighing, Harry turned back to Y/N and AJ. “You two...stay. Carry on with your date. Don’t worry about us.”

Y/N opened her mouth to speak, but AJ didn’t let her. “No, we can’t just stay when Layla’s hurt,” he said, eyeing Layla up and down in concern. “You live in the dorm, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So do I. I’ll take you home.” To Y/N, AJ said, “I’m sorry, Y/N. Next time?”

Y/N pressed her lips into a smile. “Sure. Drive safe, all right?”

“He seems nice,” Harry said as he walked home with Y/N. She’d been so quiet since they’d left the cafe, he was afraid she was mad at him or something.

She gave a nod. To his surprise, she said, “I’m sorry about Layla.”

He gave a dismissive wave. “She’ll be fine. That was probably karma for pushing Liam off the stairs.”

Y/N looked horrified. “On purpose?”

Harry shrugged. “We don’t know. Possibly. I mean, it’s Layla.”

They both laughed together and suddenly went quiet.

“I’m kind of mad at you, though,” Y/N said after another moment.

“Why?” Harry chuckled.

“You shouldn’t have asked to come with us.”

“You said I could if I brought someone.”

“Yes, I didn’t think you’d bring Layla,” she said and rolled her eyes. “Are you two like...hooking up?”

“Ew no, she’s like a sister to me. An awful one.” He laughed and nudged her with his shoulder. “Why? Are you jealous?”

She glared at him. “No. But you two are both attractive. It’s weird that you don’t find each other attractive.”

“You think I’m attractive?” Harry smirked, loving how quickly her face turned red.

“I mean, conventionally attractive.” She cleared her throat, refusing to look at him as they spoke. “Your hair’s always so nice. It falls into place like...dominoes…”

“Dominoes?” Harry chuckled. “Aww, someone’s flustered. Just say you have a crush on me.”

“No,” Y/N said timidly, as if she was unsure. “But...you should stop teasing me like this.”

“Why? It’s fun. I like teasing you.”

“People would think I have a crush on you for real.”

Harry maintained his nonchalant expression, but the butterflies in his stomach were going crazy. “You don’t?” he asked with mock surprise. “And what’s wrong with people thinking you have a crush on me? Everyone has a crush on me.”

That was meant to be a joke. Harry didn’t expect a serious answer from Y/N.

“I don’t want whoever I end up dating to feel like they’re second to you. Because sometimes I–” Her mouth clamped shut. She squeezed the strap of her handbag and walked a bit further away from him.

Harry found it amusing. “You what?”

“No.”

“Y/N, you can’t just say something and never finish it.”

Y/N gave him a glance, biting her lip. “Sometimes I feel like...I care about you too much. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“Why’s caring about me makes you uncomfortable?” He smiled, unable to hold it anymore.

She said nothing and only walked faster to get ahead of him. Harry sped up and fell into steps beside her again as he cleared his throat into his fist. “Just so you know,” he said slowly. “I care about you a lot, too. Don’t worry.”

She didn’t look at him, but he could see her cheeks turning red. He loved it. Her shyness when she was around him made his heart swell. Maybe that was why he enjoyed teasing her. He wanted proof that he could make her feel something, no matter how insignificant it was.

“Okay,” was all she said.

It made him laugh. “You’re being mean.”

“Only to you,” she replied.

“Good,” he said, hoping she’d heard him.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #flatmate!harry #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing #harry styles series #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #flatmate series

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wayward-dreamer · 4 years

Text

Life’s Lessons - Part 7

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Denying Feelings

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)

Other Pairings: Dean x Lisa, Female!Reader x OMC – Ethan (past, mentioned), Female!Reader x OMC – Mark

Word Count: 7,423 (texts, thoughts, song lyrics in italics).

Part Summary: Dean learns the truth about what Lisa’s hiding, and makes a decision. Later, Y/N goes on a date with Mark, knowing she needs to move on. However, after a failed attempt to move things to the next level with Mark, she begins to question whether she should be denying her feelings for Dean.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Insecurities, Denying Feelings, Jealous Dean, Pre-smut (nothing too graphic yet, pretty much ends before it starts)

Music: Never Going Back Again by Fleetwood Mac (doesn’t feature but listen to it after Dean and Lisa scene, Dean on the couch scene), In These Arms by Bon Jovi (Dean bar scene), Waiting For A Girl Like You by Foreigner (Y/N and Mark end scene).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful comments, and for getting me to 300 followers! It means so much to me! All your love for this series has absolutely made my heart so happy, and I can’t wait for you guys to see what happens as we move forward! Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics! Check her out for all your AU needs!!!

Life’s Lessons Masterlist

Dean stared at Lisa, his eyes glaring as his jaw clenched. He was waiting for her to say something about what he could clearly see on her phone. He had really hoped that making the effort was going to pay off, and that they could finally be happy again. He thought about how he had doubted her in the past, over a year ago, when she had gone back to Indiana for a couple of weeks. She came back completely disinterested in him and their relationship.

They had fought a lot about whether she had slept with someone else. She had denied it and he had chosen to believe her, even if he did have his doubts about it. Since then, is when things turned for the worst. He thought he had judged her too quickly. Maybe nothing had actually happened.

Turns out, he had been right all along.

Lisa shook her head, not being able to say anything. Dean could tell from her expression that she was trying to find a way to say something.

“I don’t know what to say-” she started but he cut her off.

“Don’t” he hissed, as he leaned in so no one would hear their conversation. “I’m only gonna ask this one more time, and you better give me a straight answer.”

When she didn’t say anything, he continued.

“Did you sleep with someone else?” he asked, bluntly. He had asked that very question a year before, when she got back from Indiana. He never got a proper answer from her.

Lisa was quiet as she sat across from him. She looked up at him, and he saw sadness in her eyes for the first time in a long time.

“Yes” she whispered.

He nodded as he stared at her. He huffed a laugh and it bubbled into a bitter tone. “Who’s the guy?”

She took another few moments to say anything. “His name’s Matt. He’s a doctor.”

“Oh, Doctor Matt. How respectable” he snapped.

She looked guilty as she dropped her head, avoiding his gaze. “I’m sorry you found out like this” she said, quietly, but Dean heard her.

“Why did you keep this going for another year? Why didn’t you just answer me when I asked? This could’ve all been over then, and we could’ve forgotten about each other” Dean asked, shaking his head.

“Because… Ben really looks up to you, and I wanted a father figure for him” she replied, as she looked up at him, her eyes glistening.

Dean shook his head, confused. “But what? Suddenly I’m not good enough? You want some doctor for him to look up to instead now?”

“Matt and I fell for each other years ago, but it didn’t go far, and then I was there last year… we started things up again, and when he was here in July-” she rambled, trying to explain but Dean cut her off when something occurred to him.

“He was here?” he asked, as he stared at her.

She only nodded.

“That’s why we stopped having sex.” He didn’t need to ask because it was obvious why.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them.

“So… when should we tell Ben?” she asked, quietly.

“I’m gonna leave that to you” he replied, shaking his head. “But when you decide to leave… you’re gonna let me say goodbye to him. You owe me that much.”

He looked at her as he waited for a reply. She nodded as she continued to stare at him.

“Dean-” she started but he cut her off.

“Save it” he growled; his jaw clenched. “It’s done.”

She nodded and didn’t say anything else, as Ben returned to the table unaware of what had just occurred.

As they went about like nothing had just happened, Dean couldn’t help but think that maybe he didn’t deserve to be angry. After all, he had kissed Y/N and it had made him feel awful for doing that to Lisa, despite the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about his beautiful neighbor. So, did he have the right to be angry with Lisa when he had done that? He came to the conclusion pretty quickly. Yes, he did have the right. Lisa had lied to him for a year, she had slept around with that guy behind his back and didn’t seem to regret it at all. Her sadness came more from the fact that Dean had found out. It wasn’t “I’m sorry I did this to you” it was “I’m sorry you found out like this”.

So, yes. He did deserve to be angry and to be the one to end the relationship.

When they got back home, Lisa went into Ben’s room to break the news. Dean wasn’t sure what she told him, about whether or not she said she had met someone else or not. Quite frankly, he didn’t care. He kicked back on the couch with a beer, some re-runs of M.A.S.H. on the TV keeping him entertained. He heard some yelling from Ben and then a door slam, and then another one close a bit more gently. Dean would eventually go in and see how Ben was taking the news but for now… he was taking a moment for himself.

For the first time in a long, long time, he felt lighter. He felt better, and in a weird way, as much as it hurt to hear that Lisa had cheated on him, he was relieved. He finally got the answer to his question, and now… he could finally move on. He could concentrate on his business, be available to his family more, and just be himself without worrying what Lisa would say. All the constant fighting or ignoring each other and pretending to be civil was over. He had been down the road with her several times in the last couple of years, the road of things being fine and then not fine, but he was never going back to that again.

He was looking forward to living his life the way he wanted again.

Over the next week, Y/N and Mark texted back and forth. There were messages about their days, what they had for lunch or dinner, silly jokes and flirty comments. Y/N liked him enough, but she hoped that he did ask her out so that she could get to know him more.

Mark: I can’t beat around the bush anymore. I really want to take you out. Saturday night, 7pm?

Y/N had agreed instantly and tried to protest when he said he would drive to Lawrence and have their date there, but he insisted. She wanted to avoid anyone seeing them, or even possibly running into Dean, but she supposed she couldn’t ignore that fact. She just hoped she could avoid him, though.

The restaurant buzzed with sounds of chatter from patrons and the soft jazz music playing through the speakers. Mark sat across from her, dressed in black jeans and deep green v-neck sweater, while she had adorned a silk navy blue strappy top, with black jeans and her long fawn coat, that was hanging off the back of her chair.

“This place is great” he said, as he looked around the room.

“Yeah, the food’s really good and the drinks are even better” she said, as took a forkful of her meal. It was the same place she had come to with Charlie for drinks. She loved the vibe there.

“So… what’s 8th grade teaching like?” he asked her.

She laughed a little, putting her fork down. “Challenging. It’s an interesting age for kids, they don’t really want to be told what to do but they know they have to. It’s rewarding though, especially when their faces light up because they’ve done well on a test or homework.”

“I suppose it helps they have a teacher as passionate as you” he complemented her.

It was nice of him to say that but somehow when Dean had some similar words to her, it was easier to believe him.

“Thanks” she said, accepting the complement with a smile. She needed to give him a chance.

“I gotta ask though. You said you’re from upstate New York. Why such a big move to Lawrence, Kansas? Of all places” he inquired with a laugh.

She smiled slightly, her muscles not committing to a genuine one. It was touchy subject, something that she couldn’t tell him just yet. She had told Dean, which she never expected to do so soon into their friendship, but she had trusted him. He made her feel safe to tell him, even in such a short time. It wasn’t going to be the same with Mark.

“I just needed a change, a new experience” she replied, not even remotely divulging the real reason.

“Fair enough” he nodded, taking a sip of his wine.

“What about you?” she asked, changing the subject. “What’s a day in advertising like?”

“Stressful” he huffed. “Not nearly as rewarding as teaching, but there are days when things go well, and you can relax for a small fraction of time. Then it’s just back to the grind, not a whole lot of time to appreciate your achievements.”

“But you love it, right?” she said, shrugging.

“Yeah” he said, simply as he went back to eating.

The rest of their conversation was light-hearted and fun, and Y/N was surprised at how much of a great time she was having with Mark. She thought that wouldn’t happen so soon, but she was glad that it had.

Dean got out of the shower, quickly drying off before getting dressed into jeans and a thicker white Henley, now that the weather was starting to turn. He was going to the bar tonight, with Cas and Benny joining him. It been a week since he and Lisa broke up. The day after it happened, Lisa took Ben and herself and some of their necessities to a hotel. During the week, she had been over a few times to pack up her things. It seemed like it would take a little while longer for her to completely clear her things out, but at least she was doing it while Dean was at work and he wouldn’t have to see her.

Dean drove to the bar, his thumbs drumming against the steering wheel as he listened to his music, loudly. When he arrived at the bar, he ordered a neat double of his favorite whiskey. As he sipped his drink, he frowned as he heard the words to the song that were playing.

You want commitment, and take a look into these eyes.

They burn with fire, yeah, until the end of time.

And I would do anything, I’d beg, I’d steal

I’d die to have you in these arms tonight.

He shook his head as the words hit home to what he was feeling. He may have rocked on occasion, but Dean hated Bon Jovi with a passion in that moment. He was trying not to think about Y/N. Nights out with Lisa had helped, but then something or other would remind him of her and he’d start thinking about her again. Now that things were over with Lisa, however, Y/N had been a constant thought in his mind this past week.

As he was hunched over on the table, he felt a pat on his back. He looked up to see Benny sit down in front of him, Cas not too far behind as he took the chair next to Benny.

“Good to see ya, brother” Benny commented, a big grin on his face.

“You get laid before getting here?” Dean asked, taking in his friend’s expression.

Benny chuckled, as the bartender came over and put a glass of whiskey down in front of him and Cas. “I don’t kiss and tell, Dean.”

Dean shook his head, rolling his eyes with a small smirk. He lifted up his glass as they all clinked theirs together.

“You seem… not grumpy” Cas commented, as he took in the lack of a scowl on Dean’s face.

Dean shrugged. “Things are… I don’t know, better”

“Really?” Cas asked, confused.

“Yeah” Dean nodded, simply. He hadn’t told his friends yet as he wanted to wait to get them to a bar to break the news. “I broke up with Lisa.”

Both Cas and Benny were in shock, their eyes widened. Cas sat forward as he squinted. “Seriously?”

Dean nodded, sipping his whiskey.

“Well… I never thought I’d see the day that happened” Benny said, shaking his head, with a smile on her face.

“Hilarious” Dean said, rolling his eyes.

“And you’re really… okay?” Cas asked, concerned.

“Yeah, man. I really am. I probably should feel worse, and I do, considering Ben was pretty upset. When it comes to Lisa, though… yeah. I’m good” Dean replied, truthfully.

“What happened?” Benny asked, curiously.

“Turns out, I was right. She cheated on me with some guy she used to know, when she went back to Indiana last year” Dean replied, staring down at the table.

“Damn” Benny whispered, shaking his head.

“Yeah” Dean agreed, sipping his drink. “Her phone was in front of me and I saw his messages. So… I ended it.”

“Good for you, brother” Benny said, clinking his glass with Dean’s.

Cas did the same with his glass against Dean’s.

“So, what now?” Cas asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“I don’t know” Dean shrugged, as one side of his mouth lifted up into a half smirk. “Something different, I guess.”

“What was that?” Benny asked, eying him suspiciously.

“Nothing” Dean replied, his eyebrows furrowed.

Cas leaned back in his chair, silently questioning Dean. “Does this have something to do with Y/N?” Cas asked, something occurring to him suddenly.

“No” Dean said, too quickly.

“Oh, it so does” Benny laughed slightly.

Dean looked between his friends, not knowing whether he should say anything or not. He hung his head, giving up the pretence.

“Yeah, it does” he said, his voice low but they heard him anyway.

“I should’ve known something was up when you were both making eyes at each other at the garage” Benny said, smiling wide.

“Nothing’s up, okay? Nothing happened” Dean lied yet again.

“That didn’t sound true, did it?” Cas asked Benny, knowing their friend well.

“Nope” Benny replied, popping the ‘p’.

They looked at him and he couldn’t deal with their knowing stares.

“Fine” Dean sighed, exasperated. “We kissed.”

“Dean” Cas groaned.

Benny let out a long whistle. “Damn, brother.”

“Yeah, I know, I know what you’re gonna say. It was a mistake, I shouldn’t have done it, I know I shouldn’t have. Okay?” Dean grumbled. “It’s just… I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Do you like her?” Cas asked, genuinely wanting to know. He knew what his friend was like before he met Lisa, and he wanted to make sure he wasn’t reverting back to his old ways.

“Fuck, this is like high school” Dean mumbled, sipping his drink. “Yeah, I do. I like her. I mean, it’s more than that… I’m really falling for her.”

“And you haven’t told Lisa?” Cas asked, sitting forward in his chair.

Dean rolled his eyes and glared at him. “Well, I don’t think I have to now considering we’re not together and she actually cheated on me. This was just a moment of weakness.”

Cas nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

“Hey.” Dean leaned forward in his chair as he looked at both of them. “It was a mistake, the way it happened. I know that. Y/N said that she wouldn’t let it go any further as long as Lisa and I were together, and I agreed with her.”

“No wonder you two haven’t spoken in weeks” Cas muttered.

“Yeah” Dean scoffed, nodding. “It’s just… now that Lisa and I are over, I don’t know, but – maybe now I got a shot with Y/N.”

“Maybe” Benny said, a small smile on his face.

Dean looked at Cas and thought about whether or not he should ask about Y/N, but he needed to know.

“How… how is she?” he tried to ask as casually as possible.

“She looked pretty sad for a while. I guess we know a little about why now. She’s been better in the last week, though. She’s uh…” Cas replied, but he didn’t know how to broach the next subject.

“She’s what?” Dean was concerned as he asked the question.

“Y/N’s on a date. Some guy she met in the city when she went out with Meg and Charlie last weekend. It’s their first date tonight” Cas told him.

Dean’s jaw clenched as he looked down at the table. “Who’s the guy?” He looked up at Cas, his expression hard and distant.

“Mark something, I don’t know who he is. She seemed excited about tonight though” Cas replied, trying to gage some kind of reaction from Dean.

Dean huffed as he looked down at the table. She was on a date with some guy. Mark. She was moving on from him, and while Dean wanted to find the guy and tell him that he couldn’t have her, he knew she was right in moving on. She wasn’t anything to him for him to get protective of her. Maybe Mark was a nice guy and after what she had been through, she deserved a nice guy.

“Well…” he sighed, throwing his head back as he finished his drink. “Good for her.”

Benny knew that look on his friend’s face. “You alright there, brother?”

“Oh yeah” Dean replied, twirling his glass around in his hand.

“Dean-” Cas started but Dean cut him off with a glare.

“I’m gonna head back” he muttered, standing up from the table. He dropped a few bills on the table, before picking up his jacket.

“Thanks for tonight, fellas.” Dean walked away, without looking at his friends.

When he got back home, he poured himself another whiskey and sat down on the couch. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He kept thinking about how life would’ve been if Y/N hadn’t moved across the street. He may never have realized that he and Lisa were in a meaningless relationship, and probably would’ve kept going the way they had been for many more years.

Y/N encouraged him to go ahead with his plans for expanding the garage, a move he was scared to make, but he couldn’t wait to get started on that. She talked to him about all his likes and dislikes, listened when he talked about his family, and told him that maybe he and his dad still have to work out some things from the past. She trusted him enough to tell him about her previous relationship and what her asshole of an ex did to her. She cared about him and he cared about her. Hell, he was really starting to fall for her, but he had to respect what she wanted. Yes, it was a first date with this guy, and she might not want things to go further, but she deserved to give things a chance without him being a factor. She deserved to be happy.

Dean frowned and lifted his head, as he heard a car from outside, the breaks squeaking softly as it pulled up to the curb. He stood up and slowly walked to the window, his heart sinking when he saw Y/N get out of the car. She was coming back to her house with her date.

Mark drove her home, chatting and changing songs in the car to suit their mutual tastes, which she quickly learnt were quite similar. He wasn’t much for classic rock, but more for the folksy stuff of now. They kept the small talk going as he pulled up outside her house. She quickly got out of the car and walked to her front door as he walked beside her. She turned to him and smiled as they stood outside her door.

“I had a really great time” she smiled. There was definitely promise of more and of better, and she was going to give him the chance.

“Me too” he smiled in return.

He slowly and tentatively leaned in, kissing her cheek, softly. She smiled wider at the sweet gesture.

“Goodnight, Y/N” he whispered as he moved back.

“Goodnight” she said, watching him leave.

As she watched him drive off, she sighed. There was something there, and while she didn’t know what it was, she knew she had to take a leap and find out.

She really needed to call her sister and talk about this with her soon.

Dean watched as the guy leaned in and kissed Y/N’s cheek, very relieved that he hadn’t kissed her on the lips. She looked happy, and that’s what mattered. It was what he wanted for her. Even if he wasn’t the one to do that for her.

2 weeks later…

Dean had come to a conclusion about Mark. He hated the guy.

It had been two weeks since Y/N and Mark’s first date, and in that time, he had seen them together around town quite a few times. They would be talking and laughing, kissing and being happy and honestly, it made him sick. To someone else, it may have looked like he was jealous, and maybe he was a little, but he was mostly concerned for her and hoped that she had made the right decision. It was irrational to hate him based on all of this, considering he had never met the guy, but he couldn’t help how he felt.

The alarm blared obnoxiously, even though Dean had been awake for a few minutes already. He tapped it hard and turned it off, his hand combing through his hair. He got up and dragged himself into bathroom, quickly brushing his teeth and freshening up. He had opted to have a shower when he came back from doing some manual labor.

He got dressed in his worn jeans, dark brown Henley and a brown and white plaid shirt over the top, his black jacket over that and walked through the house. He picked up his wallet and keys and then left, firing up his Baby and driving away from the house, as his music blared. He made a quick stop to pick up three coffees from the coffee shop, and then drove for about 15 minutes, before reaching another street. He drove down, past all the pristine houses, until he came to the one he was looking for.

He looked up at the house as he got out of the car. It had seen better days and he had bought it for a steal a few months ago. With the help of Cas and Benny, he was going to fix it up and make it a home. They would do what they could until builders came in at a later stage and did all the more complicated things like wiring and plumbing.

As he walked into the house, his mind started thinking in overdrive. Throughout his time as a bachelor, he was the love ‘em and leave ‘em type of guy, opting for one-night stands rather than proper relationships. It was fun and easy, but over time he had gotten over that. Cassie was his first serious girlfriend when he was 24, and they dated for 6 weeks. He had cared about her, but they weren’t meant to be. He dated girls and continued his one-night flings for a few years, before he met Lisa. She didn’t end up being just a one-night thing, and he really thought that they would be great for each other.

While being every woman’s “Mr. Right Now”, Dean had always longed for something more, even if he didn’t admit it to anyone. He barely admitted it to himself. That being said, he used to have a recurring dream. A beautiful woman in a beautiful house, welcoming him with a passionate kiss as he came home from work. They had three children, 2 boys and a girl. He couldn’t see their faces, as it was a fantasy in his mind that would never come true. When he met Lisa, the woman had morphed into her. However, as they started to have their problems, the woman became faceless again.

Standing there in the house at that moment, images of the dream started to flash before him. The woman had a face again. This time… it was Y/N. He suddenly began to imagine her in this house with him and Dean’s heart began to beat rapidly at the thought. She belonged here. He wanted her here with him. He wanted a life with her. He couldn’t want that. He tried hard to turn the image of Y/N back into a faceless woman, but nothing happened.

He was 34 years old and his little brother had gotten married before him, and would no doubt tell him that they were having kids soon. He loved his brother and sister-in-law, but every time he looked at them it was a reminder of the fact that he may never have that. He never thought he wanted those things, but this recurring dream always told him otherwise.

A slap on his back startled him out of his daydream. Benny walked around him with Cas right behind him.

“You okay, chief?” he asked, picking up the coffee with his name on it.

Dean nodded, blinking a few times. “Yeah. Fine.”

“You sure?” Cas said, concerned when seeing his friend looking slightly out of it.

“Uh… yeah. I, um… just have a few things on my mind” Dean said, looking around the house.

“Well” Benny started, lifting up a sledgehammer. “Nothing like breaking some shit to clear your mind.”

Dean huffed a laugh and took the tool from him, walking over to the nearest wall and getting to work.

Y/N pushed her sunglasses up and pulled her brown checkered coat a little tighter around herself. Despite the sun, there was a chill in the air as brown leaves brushed over the pavement. She sat outside a café, waiting on Charlie and Meg to get there for brunch. It was Sunday and Meg always had them off, so they were taking the opportunity to see each other. Her foot tapped along to the song that came from the café, the leaves making a crunching noise as they caught under her shoe. She smiled when she saw them walking up the sidewalk, both bundled up as well. The fall was in full force and it wasn’t Y/N’s favorite in terms of weather, but she had to admit, it was incredibly beautiful as she admired the leaves changing color.

She sat up a little and kissed them both on their cheeks, as they sat down across from her. She smiled as she watched them settle in.

“I’m starving!” Meg groaned, as she looked at the menu.

“Hello to you, too” Y/N laughed at her dramatics.

“We better order quick before the demon comes out” Charlie joked, earning a side eyed glare from Meg.

Y/N laughed as she called the waitress over and they all ordered, after Charlie and Meg quickly decided what they wanted.

“So, how are things going with Mark?” Meg asked, getting straight to the point.

Y/N shrugged, knowing there wasn’t much to tell. “It’s been a good two weeks. I’m having fun with him. He’s a great guy. We’re seeing each other again tonight, for a movie.”

“That’s so great, Y/N” Charlie beamed. “I’m so glad you’re happy.”

Y/N smiled, nodding. “I am.”

Mark made her laugh and forget about everything that had happened before they met, but at the same time, she was still waiting to feel the sexual chemistry with him.

“He’s coming to your birthday dinner on Friday, right? We gotta meet this guy properly” Meg asked, as the waitress came back with their coffee orders.

“Yeah, he is. So, you can assess him then” Y/N laughed, as she took a sip of her coffee.

Charlie joined in but stopped as she wondered if she should ask Y/N what she wanted to ask at that point. “Have you… have you talked to Dean at all?”

Y/N sighed as she looked at her friend, and then shook her head after a few seconds. “No.”

“You really want to cut off from him completely?” the redhaired woman asked, her face morphing into sadness.

“I think I have to” Y/N replied, as she avoided her friend’s gaze. She knew that if she looked at her, she’d change her mind, and she couldn’t do that.

Charlie bit her lip as she and Meg looked at each other. Meg nodded, and Charlie turned to Y/N.

“What?” Y/N asked, knowing something was up.

“Y/N… Dean and Lisa broke up” Charlie told her.

Y/N felt her breath catch in her throat as her eyes widened. That was the last thing she was expecting Charlie to say. “W-When?”

“A few weeks ago” Meg replied, her fingers tapping against her coffee cup, nervously.

Y/N scoffed, shaking her head. “And you’re telling me this now?” She was annoyed that they hadn’t bothered to tell her this for weeks.

“We wanted to, we really did” Charlie reasoned. “But Y/N, things seemed to be going great with Mark, so we thought we shouldn’t.”

Y/N looked between them. She sighed, looking down at the table and fiddling with the cutlery. “I guess you’re right.”

“It’s just that after that night,” Meg started, putting her coffee down after taking a sip. “You seemed pretty ready to move on and let him deal with whatever happened with Lisa.”

A night out with just Meg a little over a week ago, Y/N had told her what had happened with Dean. She was sure that Cas knew from Dean considering they were best friends, but she was glad that he kept it in confidence that he knew and didn’t tell Meg, despite them being a couple.

“Yeah” Y/N nodded, but her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts at that point. “What happened?”

“He found out about her cheating on him” Charlie replied, sadly.

Y/N’s eyes closed as she shook her head. She couldn’t believe it. Her heart was breaking for him, and all she wanted to do was go over to him and see how he was doing.

“Y/N” Charlie said, trying to get her attention.

YN shook her head as she looked at her friend, having spaced out for a few moments.

“You okay?” Charlie asked, knowing that she wasn’t but asking anyway.

“Yeah” Y/N nodded, smiling. It didn’t really convince her friends. “I’m good.”

Y/N was thankful as their food arrived and it distracted them from what they were talking about.

As Meg told them about something that had happened at the hospital recently, Y/N spaced out again. She couldn’t believe that Dean actually broke up with Lisa. Knowing the reason though, she was glad that he finally had, even if finding out she was cheating on him was the most awful thing that could ever happen. Now, Y/N found herself at a dilemma. Dean was suddenly single, and she was with someone. She really liked Mark and she was having a great time with him. She wasn’t about to break up with him just to be with someone else, but her mind kept floating back to her green-eyed neighbor. She told herself it wasn’t a good idea for several reasons.

One, she was with Mark and she was having a wonderful time with him. Two, Dean had just gotten out of the relationship and he needed some time to himself. Three… she was Mark. She couldn’t break his heart just to be with someone else. She really liked him, and he even kept her mind off Dean, sometimes. So, she wasn’t going to do anything about this new information of the breakup.

It was officially time to move on.

Y/N smiled as she walked hand-in-hand with Mark, down the sidewalk. They had just watched a movie and were walking back to the car, Mark insisting on driving her to and from their movie date. The night air was chilly, and they were thankful they were both rugged up; Mark in a long black coat over a white sweater and jeans, Y/N in a thick, high neck grey sweater, jeans and ankle boots. They were walking in content silence, but every now and then Mark would lean in and kiss her head. It had been two weeks for them and while Y/N was happy with where things were with them, she had a feeling that things were going to progress every soon. They had had several make-out sessions on her couch, but they were still yet to do anything else. It might’ve felt like it was too soon, but she really did like him and she felt they were ready to take the next step in their relationship.

As they were walking down the sidewalk, they walked past a few bars and restaurants. Suddenly, Mark’s path was cut off slightly as someone walked out from a bar and onto the sidewalk.

“Oh, sorry, man” Mark said, looking at him.

The guy turned to face them, and Y/N felt her breath stop as she saw Dean. He looked so good, wearing a leather jacket over a red and black plaid and dark blue jeans. Dean looked between her, the guy she was with and their hands joined together. So, this is him he thought as he looked at Mark.

“It’s okay” Dean said back. “Hey, Y/N” Dean said, looking at her.

“Hi, Dean” she tentatively smiled.

“You both know each other?” Mark asked, confused.

“Uh, yeah. Dean’s my neighbor” Y/N said, looking up at Mark. “Dean, this is Mark.”

Y/N watched as an older man walked out of the bar and up to Dean, looking at him.

“Everything okay?” he asked him, as looked at her and Mark.

“Yeah” Dean nodded quickly. “Dad… this is Y/N my neighbor and this is Mike” he said, introducing them.

“It’s Mark” the man in question corrected Dean.

“My mistake” Dean said, trying to give him a polite smile, but it didn’t move far enough on his face to be genuine.

Y/N took a deep breath. This was the moment she had feared most. She decided to ignore it, as she smiled at Dean’s father.

“It’s so wonderful to finally meet you, sir” she said, offering her hand. “Dean’s told me a lot about you.” She felt Mark looking at her and knew she was going to get a lot of questions later.

“Well, Dean hasn’t told me anything about you, but it’s still great to meet you, as well” John said, shaking her hand as he glanced at his son.

“We should really go” Dean said, looking between the couple and his dad.

“We should too” Y/N said, looking at Mark.

“Great to meet you, man” Mark said, offering his hand to Dean.

Dean looked down at it for a second, before he shook it. “Yeah.”

As they all dispersed, and Y/N walked back to the car with Mark, she was practically hyperventilating at the thought that Mark and Dean had now met. Albeit briefly, but they had. Dean who she had kissed. Dean who she was trying to deny her feelings for but failing miserably.

She was suddenly wishing for the floor to open up and swallow her whole.

When they got back to her house and Mark took off his coat while she kicked off her shoes, the content silence they had before meeting Dean, was now awkward. Y/N filled two glasses of water and handed one to Mark, as she waited patiently for him to say what she knew he was thinking.

“So… did something between you and Dean?” he asked, looking up at her from his glass.

She shook her head. “No.”

“Really?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because it felt a little-”

She walked over to him, cupping his jaw in her hands. “Mark, nothing ever happened between Dean and I. He was a good neighbor, invited me for dinner one night and told me a little about his family. That’s it.”

She came to the conclusion that he didn’t need to know what really happened. It was before she met him, and it shouldn’t affect them considering she didn’t know him then.

Mark sighed as he looked at her, a small smile appearing on his face. “Okay.”

She smiled and leaned up, kissing him softly. It didn’t take long for Mark to deepen it, as they wrapped their arms around each other.

“Hold on” he said, pulling away from the kiss and taking out his phone, connecting it through Bluetooth to her speaker.

So long, I’ve been looking too hard, I’ve been waiting too long

Sometimes I don’t know what I will find, I only know it’s a matter of time

Y/N laughed a little at the cheesy song choice but smiled up at him as he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her waist, swaying side to side. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he leaned down, kissing her, passionately. Things began to heat up, as Y/N cupped his face, kissing him firmly. She nipped at his bottom lip and opened her mouth, their tongues meeting. He was a good kisser, even if he wasn’t quite the kisser a certain someone else was. In that moment, however, she didn’t want to think about her gorgeous green-eyed neighbor.

Mark walked them back to the couch, helping her lie down. Y/N looked up at him as she undid her jeans and pushed them down her legs, throwing them on the floor. He looked down at her, his eyes dark with lust as he lowered himself and wrapped his arms under her, pulling her close. His hands pulled her high collar down as his lips moved down her jaw, nipping and sucking as they landed on her neck. He moved his hips against hers, and she felt herself getting wet from the friction of him getting hard against her panties, through his jeans. He lifted his sweater and took it off, and her hands quickly reached for the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath it. She took it off him and flung it somewhere, both of them not caring. She caressed his arms, his flexed muscles rippling.

Y/N’s cupped his jaw in one hand as she kissed him, the other moving down and rubbing against the seam of his jeans. She felt him growing hard against her hand and she moaned into the kiss.

“You’re sure, right?” he breathlessly asked, going for her neck again.

“Yeah” she gasped, closing her eyes. She quickly pushed him up and sat up, pulling her sweater off, pulling it over her head and off her arms.

Mark stared down at her light pink lacy bra and groaned. “Shit, baby.” He leaned in and kissed her, his hands in her hair.

Y/N started unbuckling his belt and pulled it through the loops, as he fumbled with taking his wallet out of his back pocket. He took out a foil packet and she took it from his hands. He unzipped his jeans and pulled them down along with his boxers, revealing his hard cock. He was a reasonable size, and she looked up into his eyes as she wrapped her hand around his shaft, pumping her hand slowly. She leaned back and laid down on the couch, biting her lip as she smiled up at him. He took the packet and tried opening it with one hand, but it fell out of his hand, disappearing somewhere on the couch.

“Oh shit” he whispered, laughing slightly.

“It’s okay, let me see where it is” she said, laughing along with him as she felt around for the foil packet. “If I don’t find it, I’ve started back on the pill, so we should be good.”

It was a moment or two before she found it, lodged under a couch cushion. She waved it with a smile and went to open the packet, but her eyes widened as she looked down at him. His hard on had gone down, becoming flaccid again, in the time that it had taken to find the condom.

Mark noticed her expression and looked down, cursing. “Oh shit, I-I-I uh,” he stuttered.

Y/N tried to calm him down, putting her hands on his shoulders. “It’s okay…”

“No, no, it’s not-” he shook his head, but stopped when she cupped his face, making her look at him.

“Mark” she said, shaking her head. “It’s honestly okay. It happens sometimes. It’s okay. Seriously.”

“Okay.” He nodded as he moved away from her, reached for his boxers and quickly put them on.

“Hey” she whispered, cupping his jaw. “I mean it.”

“Thanks.” He tried to smile but couldn’t. “I should go” he said, disappointed. He avoided her gaze, frowning. He quickly got up and got dressed again.

She walked up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Look at me.”

He looked at her, still frowning. She leaned in, pecking his lips, softly.

“We’ll try again soon, and it’ll be amazing” she smiled, wagging her eyebrows. “Okay?”

His lips turned up in a small smile as he nodded. “Yeah.”

She kissed him again, a little harder this time, a way to emphasise what she just said.

“Get some sleep” she whispered against his lips. “I’ll see you on Friday, right?”

“Yeah” he said, as he moved away from her.

“Goodnight” she smiled.

“Goodnight” he said, as he picked up his coat and put it on. He walked over to the door and looked back at her. She smiled at him and blew him a kiss, trying to cheer him up.

“Bye” he called out.

She gave him a little wave as he walked through the door, closing it behind him.

Y/N’s mind was racing. Maybe what happened just now was because it hadn’t been very long in their relationship. Maybe they needed longer than 2 weeks to decide how they felt about each other and for the connection to form. It wasn’t his fault, and she knew that; it did happen sometimes.

They would try again. She was determined to try again because she did like him.

Or maybe she needed to stop trying to deny what she felt for the man who lived across the street. Would it be easier to end things with Mark now and move on with Dean? She shook her head, as she really thought it through. She couldn’t break Mark’s heart after what just happened, and Dean had just broken with Lisa recently. She kept coming back to the fact that he needed some time to himself.

She really wanted to make things work with Mark. Tonight didn’t turn out like she thought it would, but she couldn’t let it be a setback.

“So… Y/N” John said, smirking at his son as they walked back to their cars.

“Dad” Dean groaned, shaking his head.

“You failed to mention who she was, so clearly there’s something I’m missing” John smiled, as he dissected the situation.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Dean denied as they reached where the Impala and his dad’s truck were parked.

John chuckled as he turned to face his son. “You just denied it which means it’s serious.” John looked at him knowingly.

Dean shook his head as he looked at his father. “It’s nothing.”

Dean knew that admitting it wouldn’t change anything. She was still with him. It wouldn’t make a difference.

“Okay” John said, not believing him. “I’ll get it outta ya eventually. Or Sam will.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Bye, dad.”

“Bye” John said, with another small chuckle.

They hugged and went their separate ways, with a promise from Dean that he’d be over during the week for dinner. As he drove home, his mind was on Y/N again. She was a constant thought and quite frankly, he didn’t think he could take it anymore. If his mind could stop teasing him with thoughts of her while he couldn’t do anything about it, it would make life more tolerable.

As he went to bed that night, he knew that it was too good to be true. He drifted to sleep, his thoughts morphing into dreams of Y/N and the life they could have together.

A life he desperately wanted with her but knew he couldn’t have.

-x-

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @castiels-a-winchester @ellewritesfix05 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @supraveng @roonyxx @supernatural-love14 @vicmc624

#Life's Lessons #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction

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lilbabycee · 4 years

Text

bunny // steve rogers (part one) 🐰

READ PART TWO

↳ summary: the reader finds herself in a little bit of trouble... financially. enter steve rogers.

↳ relationship: soft dark!steve rogers x brat!reader

↳ word count: 5.6k

↳ warnings: sugar baby au, eventual dark steve, daddy kink, eventual smut, mentions of substance abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms + relationships, the reader is rich and a little bit of a bitch

↳ author’s note: i started writing this series ages ago but i’m thinking that maybe posting it on here will give me the inspiration to continue! please enjoy! ❤️

chapter one: you expensive you know that?

—

" you expensive, you know that?

i'm high-maintenance a little but not in a, not in a negative way

i just like extremely expensive things"

- faithful, drake

—

“But Daddy-!”

“No, absolutely not,” your father shuts you down without hesitation which immediately makes your eyes water.

“Please, I promise I won’t do it again-”

“That’s what you said the last time,” he reminds you nonchalantly and you can hear the rapid clicking of a keyboard in the background of the call. He’s not even paying full attention to you, likely still working on whatever the CEO of a multi- billion dollar corporation needs to work on.

“But I’m serious this time!” you insist, cocking a hip and tapping your acrylics loudly on the top of your marble kitchen counter. “You know what I’m like - I swear I’ll do better this time-”

“Nope,” his hard tone cuts you off as you hear his office phone ring. He sighs loudly over the receiver which makes your heart fall. “Look, honey-”

You know what’s coming and you can’t even try to stop it.

“-I’ve got another call coming in. I’m not sending you another dime until you can prove to me that you have the ability to be financially independent. I didn’t pay for all of those expensive private schools so that you could sit on your ass all day and blow my money like it’s in endless supply. You have all the necessary credentials to go and get a well-paying job, so go get one, goddammit. And please call your mother - she’s been trying to call you all day. Neither of us have any time left to entertain your little addictions nor your blatant disregard for the hard work that we’ve put in to get you where you are today.

“You’ve proven to me before that you are grossly incapable of doing even the simplest of tasks, so don’t let me down with this one,” he sighs loudly. “Sometimes, I wish you were more like my colleagues’ kids - they’re doctors and lawyers but all you are is ungrateful. I’ve really gotta take this call,” he says your name sternly which makes you tap your nails even faster. “Do as you’re told for once in your damn life.”

“Daddy-!” you borderline shriek once more before the phone clicks and he’s off attending to more important business.

You don’t even realize that you’re pouting until your lips start to tremble, nor do you realize how much his words have gotten to you until you touch your cheek gently with your fingertips and they come back wet and glistening like gold in the warm light of day.

Maybe he’s right. You’ve been living in this penthouse for the past year without having to worry about anything. You loved it when you attended the first viewing, mainly because of the huge windows, three bedrooms and bathrooms (that you definitely don’t need because you live alone), the open plan, spacious kitchen and living areas, and the fact that all of your neighbors are either famous or excessively wealthy like you. You saw the acquirement of this apartment as a prime opportunity to further climb the social ladder, not that it’s really all that hard for you considering the fact that your father is one of the richest people in not only New York but the entire country. But you’d lived in Italy for a year prior to moving back to New York and upon your return to the USA, you decided that you really wanted to re-establish a name for yourself here, of course with the help of your father. He bought the penthouse almost the moment that you said you had your eye on it, and he just kind of…left you here. He’s only come to visit a handful of times since you bought it two years ago, though your mother has been over far more frequently to your utter dismay.

You inhale deeply through your nose, your eyelash extensions fluttering dramatically against your cheekbones. Grabbing your phone - the newest iPhone that you bought after you broke your other one at your friend Peter’s party - you sulk over to one of your ridiculously overpriced couches and fall dramatically - but not dramatically enough to crease the material of your latest drunk purchase, a white Gucci jumpsuit - on top of all your throw pillows, the picture of a damsel in distress. Your freshly manicured toes - painted white yesterday - curl into the softness of it as you huff, dabbing delicately at your face again to rid yourself of any traces of sadness before thinking about what the hell you’re going to do next.

Yes, you have a savings account that is far more than enough for you and your grandchildren’s grandchildren to live lavish lives and while that’s all well and good, even you know that you probably shouldn’t spend that... but it’d have to do until you found another way to get your money. With that, you shrug noncommittally and your face ID unlocks your phone so that you can start your newest endeavor - buying one of everything off of Alexander Wang.

Sure, you should be proactive and take initiative to finally take the steps to distance yourself from your parents, but you’ve only just had your twentieth birthday. After graduating from high school at fifteen - yes, fifteen: your parents really pushed you, to say the least, and it helped that you were naturally intelligent beyond the capabilities of even the nation’s best high school teachers - you started your undergraduate at Harvard in the fall and finished at eighteen. You took what you dubbed an ‘extended summer vacation’ - hence Italy - and now you’re at an impasse.

Okay, admittedly your various interests - you refuse to call them addictions because they’re really not that serious - that may or may not include a wide array of party drugs and alcohol probably don’t make you the most trustworthy person in the eyes of your parents. But you’ve done everything that they’ve told you to do for the past twenty years of your life - can they blame a girl for wanting to have a little fun? A smile spreads across your face as, while scrolling, you spy the blue dad jeans that were completely out of stock just last week and quickly add them to your cart with a sense of self-satisfaction before continuing to add almost everything else to your bag. It’s not like you’re heavily dependent on anything - substance abuse is not a good look for you: it was definitely more early 2000s than now - and you only do them recreationally in social situations, so your parents really have nothing to worry about. They’re overly paranoid about you somehow tarnishing their image when in reality, your work in and outside of an academic setting has really bolstered their reputation more than they could have ever hoped for - not to toot your own metaphorical horn, but your endless philanthropic work coupled with your eagerness to “make a change” and your work in fashion has put you on the Forbes 30 Under 30 every year since you were fifteen.

You press the checkout button and your Apple Pay seamlessly completes the purchase for you: $29,000. Shrugging noncommittally, you lock your phone and stare pensively at the picturesque view of New York City outside of your window; that is until Alexa alerts you that Natasha is calling you.

Perfect timing.

Natasha’s voice echoes over the loudspeakers in the ceiling. “Hey, bunny,” she greets you and you groan loudly at the nickname, restlessly hopping up to grab a glass of water from your kitchen.

“Hey Nat,” you reply, more of a whine than anything else, and she laughs loudly at your tone.

“What happened to you? “

“Daddy cut me off,” you huff, walking to the couches in front of the TV and settling down with your glass of water. With a press of a few buttons on the universal remote, you FaceTime your best friend instead - a flash of red hair and then a blindingly white smile. She assesses you on your couch and laughs again, a full-bodied cackle that only intensifies your pout.

“It’s not funny,” you protest, although the corners of your lips are quirking up in amusement at her ridiculous laughter.

“What did I tell you?” Natasha struggles to get the words out in between chuckles. “I knew he was gonna do this-”

“Yeah, so did I, but I didn’t think he’d do it this soon-!”

“I’m surprised he didn’t do it sooner,” Natasha moves around a little before propping her phone up against her knees so that you can see her sitting comfortably in her bed. She starts picking at her own black acrylics, “and you can’t deny, bunny-”

“Don’t say I deserve this,” you narrow your eyes at her, and Natasha only sends you her signature smirk.

“I wouldn’t say you deserve it, per se,” Natasha begins, “but you’ve gotta admit,” she says your name, clearly on the verge of laughter again, “I like a party as much as the next girl, but you do go a little overboard-”

“I wouldn’t say overboard,” you insist, suddenly taking up a very keen interest in your cuticles. “Here’s what it is: Mother doesn’t like the fact that I don’t like her and Daddy’s just flat out disappointed in me for no reason-”

“-apart from the fact that you very nearly got caught doing lines of blow off of Senator Pierce’s son-”

“Shhhh,” you interrupt her, closing your eyes and pressing a finger to your lips while shaking your head, unable to fight the growing grin on your face. “That was one time-”

“You mean the one time you got caught-?”

“Yes, Natasha, that’s what I mean. Anyway - you never call me like this unless you need something - thought you were gonna text me instead. What’s up? Is it Bru-”

“Oh, no,” Natasha quickly cuts you off, her cheeks flushing red. “Bruce and I have been over for a while now-”

“You were just talking about him last week-”

“Yeah, yeah,” she deflects, tapping her fingers on her thigh. “I was actually calling to see if you wanted to go shopping for Parker’s party that’s tonight-?”

“Yes, absolutely yes - why would you even have to ask-?”

“Okay, cool,” she interrupts you, smiling toothily. “Get Jarvis to get you there by 2:30 - I wanna go to the Louis store: the summer collection just dropped-”

“Sounds perfect-”

“But one more thing,” she says your name again but in a more concerned tone. You finish your glass of water and set it on the coffee table before leaning forward slightly.

“What’s going on, Nat?”

“I’m worried about you, bunny,” both her eyes and her tone have softened drastically, making you purse your lips. “What’re you gonna do now that your dad’s not giving you any more money?”

You sigh loudly through your nose, shaking your head. “I don’t know, Nat,” you admit, snapping a hair tie against the skin of your wrist rapidly. “I’ll just have to find a job - or do more sponsorships and ads and get back into modeling and maybe actually try acting this time?”

Her green eyes pin you to your couch, even through the screen, and she scrutinizes your face for almost a full thirty seconds before scrunching up her nose and nodding hesitantly. “Alright. As long as you’re sure that you can make it work… because if not, I have an option that I think you may like…”

Your eyebrows shoot to your hairline as you motion for her to continue.

“Y’know how Wanda got really into that thing a couple of years ago?”

Your brain works overtime, trying to remember exactly what it was that Wanda was doing - all you remember is that it was fairly secretive and she didn’t tell you a lot about why she kept sneaking around.

“She was seeing that older guy,” you snap your fingers when you remember, Natasha’s slow nod confirming it, and then promptly frown because-

“What does this have to do with me?” You stare directly into Natasha’s eyes as she falters, obviously wondering if it’s too late to just backtrack altogether - yes, it is - and then she sighs.

“She wasn’t just seeing him,” your best friend starts slowly, choosing her words with great care, “she was his sugar baby.”

Now, this is news to you.

“You’re fucking with me,” you scoff in disbelief. “Wanda?”

Natasha keeps nodding, blowing her bubblegum between her rouge-painted lips until it pops with a sharp snap. “I’m serious, you can go ask her. But believe me, I was just as surprised as you when she first told me-”

“She didn’t tell me,” you murmur, something akin to betrayal burning your tear ducts. Natasha only barks out a laugh and clucks her tongue at you in a decidedly motherly way.

“Of course she didn’t tell you,” the redhead snorts, shaking her head. “She didn’t want you getting any ideas,” she says your name through a laugh, “you were - what - like eighteen two years ago? That would’ve been questionable at best -”

“But you guys didn’t know that I was gonna do anything-”

“Come on, bunny,” Natasha pins you with a look that shuts you up almost immediately. “Give us some credit - we’re not dumb and we know you-”

“Fine,” you drag out the last syllable of the word childishly. “So why mention it to me now?”

“Because you’re old enough… and in a situation where your Daddy’s not paying for any of your stuff anymore.”

You tilt your head to the side, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Yeah, okay, but I’ve got, like, a lot of other opportunities that I don’t even need to work for,” you tell her cockily, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “Why should I take this one when I could get any other real job so easily?”

Natasha’s lips curve into that same smirk. “Because you’re a whore.”

You collapse into a fit of giggles but she’s right. Really and truly, you are - what you like to call - a self-proclaimed slut. But any woman who’s free enough in her sexuality seems to be one these days, so you own the title that’s been hurled at you like an insult for so many years. You wear it with pride... for the most part, but not too much pride because you still have parents who still - somehow - think you’re a total virgin.

(you are still a virgin but your promiscuity makes people think otherwise)

“Right,” you agree easily, tapping your nails on the arm of the couch.

“Just something for you to think about,” Natasha hums, checking the time on her watch before rubbing the sleeve of her white Balenciaga hoodie over her face “Now, leave me alone. I’ve gotta go get ready; I’ll see you in a few.”

Without any further conversation, she ends the call and leaves you laughing light-heartedly although something heavy continues to weigh on your conscience. A sugar daddy. You can’t lie to yourself and say that it’s something that you’ve never thought about before - because it most definitely is - and it’s been the shameless subject of some of your filthiest dreams. Are you going to lie and say that you don’t have an… affinity for older men? No, you aren’t. Are you gonna tell yourself that the idea of a man spoiling you doesn’t make heat burn in your core? Absolutely not. However, you’ve never thought of yourself as the submissive type. Your confidence - no, cockiness has always been a real defining trait for you and that’s always worked in your favor when it comes to romance or even sex. You take what you want, rather than waiting for it to come to you. Although, you have a feeling that an attitude like that could get you in a lot of trouble in circumstances like these.

But what’s life without a little danger?

—

You’ve put on a tight, cropped black t-shirt and on top, a brown Fendi mini dress with thin spaghetti straps that clings to your body like a second skin; your feet are clad in heeled Louboutin ankle boots. Grabbing your black Prada bag and almost comically giant black, square Burberry sunglasses, you stare at your reflection in the mirror. You only put on a little bit of blush, mascara, and tinted lipgloss, accessorizing with small golden hoops, an array of rings that have been gifted to you by either your father or your ex-boyfriends and a simple gold necklace that spells out ‘bunny’ in cursive, a gift from Natasha. Satisfied, you slide your sunglasses onto your face and head to the elevator, phone in hand.

When you reach the lobby, Jarvis is waiting for you, holding the door open with a kind smile on his face.

“Miss,” he greets you, ushering you out the door. You basically jump on him, winding your arms around his neck and he chuckles as you sway back and forth in your embrace.

“Afternoon, Jarvis,” you grin at him.

The two of you walk outside to the black Range Rover with the tinted windows - black matches your outfit today - and as you climb in the back, your security detail split up into the other SUVs in front and behind you.

“So, what’s the plan today?” Jarvis asks you conversationally, stopping at a red light not even 15 seconds after you pull away from the front of your apartment. Damn New York traffic.

“Nat and I are going to Nordstrom’s,” you tell him despite the fact that he already knows, but he nods regardless. “And then Peter Parker’s hosting a party tonight.”

“And will you be needing a ride to that event?”

“No thanks, J,” you shoot him a smile before looking back down at your phone. “I’ll probably get a ride with Natasha.”

Jarvis nods and the rest of the ride passes in comfortable silence, the radio playing softly and the clicking of your nails on your phone screen the only sounds in the car.

—

“There’s absolutely no way you’re wearing that-”

“Shut up, Nat!” you squeal, grabbing the dress off the rack. “It’s kinda cute!”

Your best friend rolls her eyes at you fondly, staring at the monstrosity that you’re clutching in your hands.

“Tell me you’re kidding,” she deadpans, searching your face almost desperately for any sign of sarcasm.

You act offended: “I’m not!”

Nat just pokes you in the sides, tugs on your earlobe, and continues her hunt, which makes you burst into loud laughter and leaves the store employees looking at the two of you in what you’ve come to recognize as contained, professional amusement.

—

It’s about an hour before the party starts when you even start thinking about getting ready. In a Versace robe with your hair wrapped up in a towel, you’re scrolling through Instagram with a mud mask on. Nat comes into the room and shrieks at the sight of your face, making you flick your eyes up and grin as wide as the mask lets you. With her hand over her heart, she stares at you dryly while silent little chuckles shake your whole body.

“You’re in a good mood,” she remarks, eyeing you with an air of suspicion.

“Of course I am, Nat,” you look at her in disbelief. “I’m about to get wasted tonight-”

She interrupts you by calling your name out in a warning tone. Your only response is a dramatic roll of your eyes.

“We’re going so that we can have fun, not so you can go on a bender-”

“I won’t!” you drop your phone and throw your hands up in exasperation. “Holy shit, Mom - do you have no confidence in me?!”

Loud silence hangs in the air for a minute while Nat just blinks at you.

“...remember when you left me alone in Manhattan because you went to go trip on acid with Senator Coulson’s son-”

“Oh my God, Nat, okay, I get it - I’m a shitty friend and a drug addict, blah blah blah, whatever-”

“You’re not an addict,” she corrects you. “You just... really like doing drugs.”

You shrug, stretching your arms over your head, bringing them back down and then slapping your hands loudly on the bare skin of your thighs. The sound makes Nat flinch which amuses you mildly before you yawn loudly.

“Need me to help you with anything before I start getting ready?” you offer, knowing that once you start getting ready, you’re going to be in your own little world for about an hour and a half.

Natasha - who is significantly less high-maintenance than you - shakes her head. You nod, standing up and heading into her bathroom to wash the mud off your face.

“Did you think about what I told you earlier?” she asks, following you into the spacious room to lay on the chaise tucked against the wall behind you. You lock eyes with her in the mirror as she stretches herself out like a feline.

“Yeah,” you say nonchalantly. “Just for a little, but I don’t know if that kinda thing is for me.”

She runs her tongue over her bottom lip, looking down at her nails. “Oh, okay. I was just wondering ‘cause Wanda said there would be some people that she knows are into that kinda thing at Parker’s tonight-”

Oh, now your interest is peaked. You whip around, towel still in hand from drying your face, and stare her dead in the eye.

“For real?”

“Yeah, but if you’re not really interested-”

“Shut up, Natasha, you know I’m interested.” Your heart beats fast in your chest and your teeth catch on your lower lip, gnawing on it gently. Your fingers come back up to your wrist and stretch the elastic so that it bounces back against your skin. “Like… a lot of them will be there?”

She nods, regarding you with cool interest. “At least that’s what Wanda said. She’s better versed in this whole thing than I am.”

You can only bob your head up and down, suddenly nervous about attending this party. Natasha can sense it, putting a comforting hand on your arm.

“Look, bunny, it’ll be fine,” she gives you a reassuring smile. “They’ll love you. And if you change your mind, you won’t even have to interact with them in the first place; you’ll just be like any other person attending this thing. But Wanda knows a lot of them - that should be reassuring enough: she knows all about these guys, so it’s not like she’s going to introduce us to any major creeps.”

“Okay.”

—

“Okay,” you breathe out. Okay, you can do this. You’ve met presidents and prime ministers, singers and actors, kings and queens, but you’ve never been this nervous in your entire life.

Granted, none of those people were asking you to exchange sex for money, so it’s not really the same thing.

You’re wearing Dolce & Gabbana tonight - because they asked you to - and the golden silk dress that hits your mid-thigh and hugs your body so tight that it looks as if you were poured into it makes it all worth it. It shows off all of the dips and curves of your body and paired with your Alexander Vauthier clear slingback heels and a gold Vanina pearl-embellished handbag, you feel like a million dollars (even though that’s definitely not what this outfit costs). Natasha is standing next to you in a black Dolce & Gabbana corset dress - because they asked her to - and black red bottoms.

Your long red nails come up to toy with your ‘bunny’ necklace while you scan the massive crowds for a friendly face. It’s true that between the two of you, it is very much likely that you know - or know of - everybody here. But you don’t spare them a second glance despite the fact that they’re ogling you. No, you don’t linger on the bulging muscles and impressive height nor the full lips and pretty hair like you usually do. Instead, you’re looking for-

“Wanda! ” you call out, eyes falling on her reddish-brown hair flowing down her back in loose waves.

She’s standing by the bar, speaking to someone that you don’t know when she turns around, blue eyes quickly landing on you as she gives you that charming smile. Grabbing Nat’s hand, you run over to her and envelop her in a warm embrace. She squeals loudly, stumbling back as you realize that she’s probably already had a few drinks by now.

“Hi, guys,” she greets the two of you, looking up and down at your outfits approvingly. “You look hot.”

You return the compliment and pressing a kiss to her cheek, you stroke her hair while she and Nat engage in conversation. You take the opportunity to stare at all of the different groups of people who have gathered on Peter’s rooftop. There must be at least 300 people here already - the night has barely started - and you can see not a single person who looks like an old man. You furrow your brow, squinting and pushing up on your toes to see if you can see anyone that you don’t vaguely recognize from somewhere or another.

“Lookin’ for someone?”

The voice is unmistakable.

“Peter!”

He says your name in what’s only a mildly offensive mockery of your tone. You abandon Wanda and throw yourself into the arms of the boy, ruffling his already unkempt hair and also smacking a loud kiss on his cheek. He chuckles, his arm winding around your waist as he says hello to both Wanda and Nat.

Apparently you’re in a hugging mood tonight.

“I’m glad you guys could all make it,” he smiles so sweetly that you kiss him again, his cheeks turning flaming red. Peter has always been like a little brother to you although he’s actually a year older. You both went to high school and college together, and it helps that your mother and his aunt are also really good friends.

Except you don’t know how anybody could want to be friends with your demon of a mother.

“We couldn’t miss this,” Wanda gestures around her, pinching Peter on the cheek like a child which makes him frown. “Where’s MJ, Petey?”

You all “ooh” like high schoolers and Peter’s face turns somehow even redder - your heart swells - and he takes this as his cue to leave, slipping away and mumbling something about having to greet guests like a good host. It makes you all giggle, watching the boy with fond eyes.

Wanda abruptly turns to you, downing the champagne that she picks up off of the tray of one of the passing waiters.

“So Nat told me that you’re looking for a sugar daddy-”

“Shhh!” you hiss at her, clamping your hands tightly over her mouth because oh my god, Wanda, please speak louder. This makes Natasha laugh into her own glass of champagne.“Oh my god, why are you yelling?”

“Okay,” she drags it out and rolls her eyes, leaning into your group of three and whispering exaggeratedly. “So I heard you’re looking for a sugar daddy.”

“Sure, okay,” you whisper back, looking around before standing up straight because it’s just occurred to you how sketchy you all must look huddled in a circle like this. “So like… how does this work? Do we just… go up to them? Is there like some kind of code-?”

Wanda snorts loudly, throwing her head back and laughing. Your face slips into a pout and you cross your arms over your chest.

“No, idiot,” Wanda replies, pulling a tube of lipstick and a mirror out of her clutch. She starts to apply it while speaking to you. “They’re here already, and we’ve just gotta go up to them,” she smacks her lips together with finality, “and tell them we’re interested. Or, more like you’re going up to them and we’re here for moral support.”

“What happened to your guy, Wanda?” Nat asks, signaling to the bartender for a refill.

“And how did you get into it?” you ask her, one eyebrow quirking.

She smiles conspiratorially and runs her hands carefully through her hair. “There’s an app. And Viz and I are still together-”

“Viz? ” you almost choke on your own spit because you laugh so hard. Natasha joins you in a far more respectful way, her shoulders shaking as she picks up her now-full glass. Getting literal daggers thrown at your face would’ve been less piercing than the look that Wanda’s giving you right now, so you decide to shut your mouth and listen.

“Yes,” she says your name condescendingly, which makes you roll your eyes. “His name is Vision - it’s a long, personal story that I won’t share with either of you because you both fucking suck,” she stares the two of you down, “but that’s his nickname and what everyone calls him. It’s kinda cool, you know: super contemporary. Like Madonna or Beyoncé or Cher-”

“Okay,” Natasha licks her lips, putting one of her hands on her hip. “We get it, Wanda, thanks. But you told us that you guys broke up-?”

“Yeah, we just took a break,” Wanda shrugs. “Now, we’re back together and better than ever.”

You and Nat share a look before blinking back at Wanda, nodding your heads compliantly.

“So,” you rock back on your heels and start snapping your hair tie again. “Are we gonna go do this, or?”

Wanda’s eyes drift down to your wrist before she places a hand on top of it, stilling your actions. Your eyes are wide and glossy, your teeth worrying your lip.

“What’re you nervous about?” Wanda begins quietly, rubbing circles into your skin with her thumb. “They’ll love you - they’re all super cool and really hot. I think that the only problem that you’ll have is that you’ll be spoilt for choice.”

Your laugh comes out watery but sincere nonetheless, so Wanda loops her arm through yours while Natasha grips your hand tightly.

“Maybe we should get you a drink-”

“No, Nat,” you inhale deeply. “I wanna be completely sober for this. After… after, yeah. I’m definitely gonna need a drink after.”

You all laugh while Wanda weaves you through swathes of socialites, stopping to say hello to some people. When you finally make your way all the way to the other end of the roof, you can see why you didn’t see them before. There is a set of stairs that lead down to what looks like a zen garden. Tall torches flame a collection of very comfortable-looking couches are placed around a stone firepit and on top of those couches are a group of some of the most handsome men that you’ve ever laid eyes on.

The first one to make eye contact with you is astoundingly attractive, so much so that you almost trip over your own feet. You know- you can just tell that he smells incredible. His mahogany skin shines in the light of the fire, and his full lips curve over a gap-toothed smile that he shoots your way; it immediately makes a smile of your own spread on your face. His beard is lined up to perfection and there’s a mischievous sparkle in his whiskey brown eyes. A little bit of his chest hair pokes out from underneath the top of his almost halfway-unbuttoned dress shirt and your mouth waters. You almost feel sorry for the slacks that are hugging his thighs sinfully tight because his powerful legs look like they’re about to burst through the seams.

You decide that you’ve never wanted to be a pair of pants so badly in your life.

Jesus Christ. These men aren’t even close to what I expected.

All you can say is that you’re glad to see that the same caliber of attractiveness holds up for the rest of them.

The man next to him has longer brunette hair that hits his shoulders and you just want to run your hands through the silky strands. He has a bit more of a rugged look, his facial hair groomed purposely to give off that energy. He’s wearing a tight, long-sleeve black shirt and black slacks too, the monochrome outfit highlighting every inch of his well-toned body. When you look at him, he’s staring down into his glass, the sweetest smile on his face that makes you bite the inside of your cheek. But then he looks up at you, and you’re taken aback by the vibrance of his steel-blue eyes. It stops your breath momentarily, and you have time to regain it when he taps the man next to him on the knee and points towards the three of you.

The man in question raises his head, face shielded partially by a pair of yellow-tinted glasses. His blonde hair is slicked back away from his face, and you take a second to admire his prominent bone structure. But he’s looking right past you, eyes boring holes into Wanda which makes you stop your ogling.

You assume that this must be Vision.

There’s one of the men who isn’t facing you and doesn’t even turn around to do so, but you can make out his extremely broad shoulders clad in a white t-shirt even from where you stand a distance away. Even the back of his head is attractive, his thick neck and pushed-back blonde hair. Wanda tugs on your arm impatiently, evidently eager to reach her man.

The three of you linked together almost fall down the stairs before you regain your collective composures and strut over there with all the confidence that you don’t feel. Wanda lets you and Nat go when you draw closer, fixing her hair before the brightest grin that you’ve ever seen on her face shines at Vision. He opens his arms to greet her and you have to look away because of the very much x-rated kiss that she plants on him: you feel like you’re intruding on something.

“Jesus,” Nat snorts in your ear, her hand still resting in yours. This makes you giggle, high-pitched and nervously, so Nat squeezes your hand before she pulls you forwards.

Wanda has situated herself in the lap of her man, his hand resting gently on her hip. She clears her throat, cheeks red from her public display of affection, and begins to speak.

“Hi, guys,” she says, waving and smiling at all the men politely. They all greet her back warmly, raising their hands too. “These are my best friends. This is Nat,” she gestures to the girl next to you and Nat just nods her head in acknowledgment.

“And this is the friend I told you about,” Wanda introduces you by name to the four men who she points at in turn: “Bunny, this is Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Vision, and Steve Rogers.”

Giving a little awkward wave of your hand, you unglue your eyes from the floor and scan all of the men up close now.

They’re all so much prettier up close.

From this distance, you can now clearly see how pretty Sam’s eyes are, how bright Bucky’s smile is, how strong Vision’s jaw is, and-

Holy shit.

It’s obvious that you must’ve died and gone to heaven some time in these past few minutes because Adonis’ blue eyes are scorching holes into your face. His high-neck white long sleeve sweater is probably in his size but the way that his muscles flex under the material is telling you otherwise. The size of his biceps - probably as big as your head - briefly make you wonder what they would feel like wrapped around your neck-

If you stare hard enough at his pecs - which you are - you can see the hard peaks of his nipples; you decide that there’s something so sensual about that and if that alone didn’t just make you wet, you decide that you can’t be human. The sweater is tucked into grey checkered pants with a black Yves Saint Laurent belt wrapped around his surprisingly narrow waist. He’s leaning back in his seat with his huge hands on his thighs, his strong legs spread wide almost an invitation for you to crawl between them. Your eyes move past his clearly tailored pants to his huge feet clad in black Versace loafers and you can feel the liquid that pools in your cunt. Realizing that you’re shamelessly checking this poor man out, your eyes snap up to his face only to have the breath completely knocked out of you, not for the first time tonight.

Not only is his body complete perfection, but his face is also arguably even better. His defined jawline gives you the urge to run your tongue over it but that beard. Your squeeze your thighs together because you want to know how it feels between your thighs. His ears are perfectly proportional to his head - a characteristic that should never be underestimated, mind you - and his cheekbones are high. But you can’t ignore the fullness nor the rosy pigmentation of his lips - his lower lip is fuller than the top and you wanna bite it so bad and he’s smirking a little. When you finally lock eyes with him, you feel as if you’re drowning but admittedly even if you were, you wouldn’t mind doing so in the blue of his irises. They darken slightly when they train onto yours, and one of his perfect eyebrows lifts questioningly.

This whole interaction has only lasted about five seconds but it feels like you’re in a movie, everything moving in slow motion. He stands up abruptly and you do actually choke at his size, his sheer height and width alone soaking your panties. One hand in his pocket, he takes slow, measured steps until he stands directly in front of you, not even sparing a glance at Natasha.

“Bunny, huh?” you pray that your knees won’t give out at his deep baritone and you can’t take your eyes away from his, even when he sticks out his hand. “Nice to meet you. Steve Rogers.”

tagged: @literaturefeen @donutloverxo @evnscvll @stargazingfangirl18

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers blurb #steve rogers blurbs #steve rogers headcanons #steve rogers headcanon #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers imagines #marvel cinematic universe #marvel fanfiction #sugar daddy au #soft dark steve rogers

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kamilah-the-bloodqueen · 4 years

Text

Remember Me (3/??)

So it’s been quite some time since I looked at this series, and I apologize for such a long hiatus but it’s back (Someone reached out to me asking when part 3 would be out so I moved it forward in my WIP queue! Basically Amy starts out with Adrian, and it’s perfect but one day Amy gets into a car accident and doesn’t come out the same. Her memories from the past 5 years of her life - and that includes all the events from BB1 (just roll with it). Just a FYI I will NOT be rewriting the first 2 parts, you’ll just have to deal with the shitty writing for the whole series. Honeymoon is the current WIP I’m working on, followed by a f!Blaine x MC angst one-shot, the cafe part 2 and then the first chapter of my university AU. Please be patient with me, I am under a lot of academic stress but I promise these will be finished.

Pairing: Adrian x MC x Kamilah (It’s not romantic - just a description...for now)

Warnings: This series does include a serious injury, amnesia

Word Count: 2753

Tags: (Since it’s been so long if you’d like to be removed just lmk - that being said if you’d like to be added to the tag please let me know) @a-raines @bloodboundstuff f @kamilahtopme

Part One Part Two

Amy’s eyes fluttered open, Adrian slouched in the chair beside her, sound asleep she sighed softly, her side sore and tighter than usual as she watched Adrian shift in his gentle slumber. Amy squinted as she tried to recall her memories, frowning as she attempted to make herself more comfortable in the bed. Adrian slowly moved, rubbing his eyes and smiling at Amy as he stood to make two cups of coffee.

“Good Morning Amy…” He spoke softly, lovingly. It almost felt familiar to Amy, something about the way he said it resonated with her. She flashed a smile at him, her eyes lighting up as he brought her a cup of coffee, perfectly made the way she always liked it.

Adrian is very sweet, I could see how I would have fallen for him. His heart is made of gold, and he is the cinnamon roll that Lily said he was and...and I’m breaking his heart...me...Amy, just a regular girl...I’m breaking his heart because I don’t remember anything...oh...

Amy felt her heart break just a little - she couldn’t force herself to love Adrian and he certainly didn’t deserve this pain, but the spark between them was extinguished in that accident. Amy drew a deep breath, catching the scent of the cooled coffee cup in her hands, she shakily held it to her lips, spilling a small amount on her lap as Adrian rushed to grab napkins. He gently placed them down, patting the sheet dry as Amy felt her heart skip a beat. She let out a breath as Adrian sat down, slowly drinking his own coffee.

“Thank you Adrian, you’re a good friend.” Amy spoke softly, barely a whisper as Adrian grinned, his eyes sparkling in the dimly lit room. He paused before sipping his coffee, his heart dropping as he replayed Amy’s words silently.

Good friend. Good friend. Over and over again. Good friend. She doesn’t love me anymore, is there any chance she’ll come back to me?

“Adrian? Are you alright?” Amy tapped him on the shoulder, a concerned look written on her face as Adrian nodded slowly.

“Yes, my apologies, I just...need a moment. I’ll be right back.” Adrian stood quickly, nearly sprinting out the door as Amy tilted her head in confusion. Adrian shut the door, leaning his whole body against it as he let a tear fall from his eyes. He pulled his phone out, immediately opening his camera roll as he replayed forgotten memories- memories Amy had promised to never forget. He slid down the door, his legs losing strength as he dove deeper into the past she had forgotten. He pulled out a small package of tissues, quickly replacing them with his sleeves as tears flooded his face and the floor. He choked as he stumbled upon a picture of them together in the moonlight, Amy smiling on his back as he had carried her through Central Park that night. He watched videos of Amy dancing, singing and saying ‘I love you’ to him, all recent. He rested his head against the door, looking into the lights as he clenched his jaw, reaching into his pocket to pull out the engagement ring that had lost all of its purpose.

“Amy...goddammit Amy...I should have been with you that night...I should have driven you myself.” He stood back up, adjusting his suit and tie and wiping his face clear, re-entering the room as Amy sat quietly, gazing out the window.

“Is something wrong Adrian?” Amy turned to him with that always curious look in her eyes, he took a quiet seat next to her before smiling.

“No, but I have something to tell you.” Amy pursed her lips as Adrian pulled the velvet box from his pocket, gently handing it to her and letting her open it. She gasped and closed the box before handing it back to Adrian as he smiled, a tear slowly flowing down his face. “I was going to propose to you that night…before the accident happened...”

“Adrian…I...I’m sorry…” Amy interrupted, Adrian holding the box tightly as he forced a smile.

“It’s okay Amy. It’s not your fault…” His voice was calming but Amy could sense the broken in him, she could see the heartbreak in his posture and his face.

“I...I just don’t...I don’t feel that way anymore...I’m sorry…I...those memories...I don’t...” Amy cried softly, Adrian placing a gentle hand over hers as he closed the box, placing it back in his jacket.

“Don’t worry about it, our relationship is probably one of the last of your worries. I just thought you should know. I am sorry if I crossed a line Amy...I...I love-” Adrian clenched his jaw, Amy brows furrowing as she averted his broken gaze, “I have to go to my office, but...I’ll be back to visit you either tonight or tomorrow. Get some rest Amy.” He stood, his shoulders slumping in defeat as he found the strength to compose himself before he walked out of the hospital room.

Amy stared out the window, her eyes welling with tears as she tried to comprehend the situation, to be empathic to Adrian and to herself. Amy got so lost in the web of thoughts and worries that she didn’t even notice Lily open the door.

“Hey Ames.” Lily slowly shut the door, a cheeky smile on her face as she laid a collection of electronics in front of Amy. Amy’s eyes fell on the nintendo switch as Lily beamed with excitement, Lily setting up her laptop so Amy could see the screen.

“I thought you could use some fun today, I bought movies and some video games.” Amy’s eyes crinkled at Lily, before using her one hand to pick up one of the switch controls. Lily took the other control in her hands as she started mario kart, adjusting the controls so it would be a fair game.

“Thank you Lily...now I’m going to blow smoke up your ass.” The beeping to start the race went off as Amy gassed her bike, Lily gasping as she took off too. Amy laughed, throwing a red shell and taking first place as Lily slowly made her way up from 12th to 2nd.

“I’m right on your ass now Amy.” Lily hit the buttons more aggressively as Amy laughed, leaving a banana and screwing Lily’s position up.

“Fuck!” Lily set the remote down as Amy crossed the finish line, taking first place. “I see you haven’t lost your touch.” Lily laughed as she set up the next race.

“No. Never. Luckily I still reign champion when it comes to Mario Kart.” Amy nodded her head in pride before they played another race, and another. They lost track of time, Lily’s alarm pulling them from their entertainment as Lily looked at Amy, feeling as if she had her best friend back once more. Amy caught Lily’s gaze, both of them happier today than they had both been in the past few days. A soft knock on the door pulled them both out of their moment, Jax’s soothing voice ringing from the other side as he slid the door open slowly.

“Jax!” Amy’s voice squeaked as Jax put a hand over his heart.

“You guys are racing without me….I’m wounded...having a stroke…” The room filled with laughter as Jax took a switch remote and sat next to Amy on the other side. “Now I’ll have to whoop both of you for leaving me out!” Jax smirked as Lily adjusted her glasses.

“Oh it’s on!” Lily cracked her knuckles as Amy laughed, raising a brow at both of them as the countdown began.

“I’m injured, my memory is missing and yet I’m still going to wreck both of you!” Amy tapped her fingers against the controller as the race started, all three of them battling for first place with red shells and bananas.

“I’ve got it! Oh! ....Fuck!” Amy screamed as a NPC threw a red shell and took first place. All three of them gasping and laughing at their loss to a NPC, Lily exiting to the home screen as Jax and Amy handed her the remotes.

“Geeze. Don’t let Kamilah know I got smoked this badly...” Jax rubbed the back of his neck as Lily took the remotes, put them in her bag and plugged the switch in for a charge. Jax fiddled with his hands as Lily sat back down, asking Amy if she needed anything.

“I can’t believe we lost to an NPC...this is the end of my career.” Jax chuckled under his breath as Amy rolled her eyes before laughing too. Jax relaxed back into his chair as Amy shut her eyes gently, Lily brewing the group some tea after all of the excitement.

“Hey Jax...Lily can I ask?” Amy mumbled softly, Lily turning to face her as Jax lifted his head up.

“Of course.” Jax placed a gentle hand on Amy’s shoulder, his soft eyes fixated on hers as she smiled.

“What’s Kamilah like?”

Silence. Jax and Lily gave each other looks before Jax cleared his throat.

“She can be cold if she wants to be, she’s...quite mysterious but she opened up a lot with us, although I don’t know the details of your personal relationship with her. I...I’m not entirely sure how to describe her to you but she wouldn’t refuse your questions Amy, especially given the current circumstances. Why do you ask us?” Jax furrowed his brows as Amy felt a blush creep onto her face, Lily catching the pink cheeks in the corner of her eye.

“Nothing, just curious to know what my friends were like…” Amy stared down at the blanket as Jax’s phone buzzed in his pants.

Friends. Friends. Friends. Of course Lily and Jax were Amy’s friends, but Adrian? Kamilah? She felt something towards both of them. She didn’t carry the same feelings Adrian had for her - and they were far from the intensity he felt for her. He made her feel so safe and secure - and his nurturing nature would make any girl fall in love and Amy could sense something there, even if it was small. And Kamilah? There was something radiant about her to Amy, something about her presence that brings Amy a sense of tranquility that she doesn’t feel with Adrian. She didn’t know her but Amy felt herself infatuated with wanting to know Kamilah, wanting to spend time with her and just talk to her. Jax’s panicked voice brought Amy out of her head as Lily placed a calming hand on her shoulder - having watched Amy go through the whole thought process.

“Nikhil-” His face changed from content to concerned as a muffled voice rang through, “I’m-I’m on my way.” Jax rushed over to Lily, whispering as Lily’s face grew concerned. They exchanged silent whispers as Amy tilted her head, wondering what it could be about.

“Amy...I have to go...it’s a uh...work emergency..., will you be alright?” Jax squeezed her hand before hastily rushing out the door.

“Amy...do you...do you have feelings for Kamilah?” Amy’s heart jumped at Lily’s voice, her face turning pink as Lily slowly took a seat beside her, her face full of curiosity.

“I...I don’t know! I-” Amy reached her hand up to cover her face as Lily gently pulled her hand away, giving Amy a reassuring look. Another knock on the door startled both of them as Lily rushed to open it, Kamilah stepping through the threshold. Amy felt her heart speed up, her palms growing sweaty as Kamilah came closer and closer to her. Her maroon suit perfectly fitted, her hair practically shining as her eye softened upon meeting Amy’s.

“How are you feeling Amy?” Kamilah's voice was like music to Amy’s ears, it was smooth and silky yet firm and commanding, Amy’s heart pounding so loudly she thought Kamilah would hear it. She swallowed the lump in her throat as Kamilah gave a more concerned look to Amy. Amy thought she’d faint as Kamilah placed her palm against her forehead, her fingers rubbing small circles as she asked Lily to get some water.

“Thank you for visiting Kamilah...I really appreciate it…” Amy whispered softly, Kamilah smiled, her usual exterior melting for a moment before Lily returned with the water. Lily paused before setting the water down on the table next to Amy, her eyes scanning between Kamilah and Amy and the odd sexual tension that lingered throughout the room.

“I uh...gotta blast!” Lily squealed and dashed out the door, unsure of how to deal with the situation. Kamilah blinked twice, shocked as Amy furrowed her brows before returning to Kamilah.

“I wonder what that was all about…” Kamilah pursed her lips as Amy shakily reached for the glass, her heart nearly beating out of her chest. She gripped the cup and brought it to her lips, Kamilah watching subtly as Amy spilled some on herself by accident.

“Amy, here...let me help you…” Kamilah rushed to grab a few napkins from the counter as Amy’s face flushed red, when Kamilah placed her delicate hands on her lap where the water was spilled Amy thought she was going to have a heart attack. Kamilah lifted her hand, gesturing towards the water as Amy shook her head. Kamilah picked the glass up and gently placed it against Amy’s lips, tilting it back so she could drink. Kamilah tried not to stare but she couldn’t help herself but to watch Amy’s lips against the rim of the glass.

“Had enough?” Kamilah brought the nearly empty glass back down, perching herself on the chair next to Amy as Amy wiped her mouth.

“Yes...thank you…” Amy mumbled, she shifted her eyes to the floor to avoid Kamilah’s eyes, a gaze that would make Amy question her feelings more than she already was.

Kamilah cleared her throat, her hands slipping into her pockets before she sat forward, placing her hand over Amy’s.

“Amy, everything will be alright. You have all of us at your side and we will get you whatever you need.” Amy smiled at her gesture, Kamilahs stoic expression that Lily had spoken of was nowhere to be found. Amy nodded in silence, enjoying the comforting touch of the older woman. She must’ve dozed off because she awoke later in an empty room, a small letter placed beside her as she rubbed her eyes.

Amy,

Many apologies for running out so soon. An urgent matter needed to be handled and I could not address it from the seat beside you. I’ll return to visit you as soon as this matter is taken care of. Feel free to text or call if you need anything. My number is already saved in your phone.

~Kamilah Sayeed

Amy smiled at the heartwarming note, maybe Kamilah wasn’t as cold and stoic as Lily had previously told her. She took in a deep breath as the doctor opened the door, clipboard in hand as he ran through the tedious checklists to ensure Amy was properly recovering.

---------------------- Adrian’s Office ------------------------------

Kamilah, how late are you working tonight?

Not much longer Adrian, just a few things to finish up here. Do you need something?

I could use some of your advice, and company.

Of course brother. I’m sure the current situation has been exhausting among other things for you.

Thank you Kamilah, I’ll see you shortly?

Yes.

Adrian leaned back in his leather chair as it gently squeaked, his suit wrinkling as he removed his tie from his neck and tossed it to the side. He turned his gaze towards the ceiling, his shoulders falling - a single tear falling from his face. He took a tissue from his desk and uselessly wiped away as his face became flooded with them, the teardrops staining documents and leaving marks on his jacket. He ripped the jacket off, not caring about how much it had cost him as she rested his head in his hands - his composure falling apart in seconds. His white blouse became disheveled as his breathing grew fast and desperate - his heart racing and beating so hard it hurt. He tried to stand, his legs completely failing him as he leaned against the bookshelf, hiding his face in his knees as he let his bottled emotions out. He stayed there for what felt like hours, until the door slowly creaked open...

#kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #kamilah the bloodqueen post #so uh this chapter had been sitting in my google drive for months #anyways i revised bits of it and that's that #if you want to be tagged lmk #so my creativity comes and goes so its hard for me to write a specific fic at one time #so ill get motivated to write an angst fic when i need to write smut or something #i'm done rambling please scroll i dont think i like this series but idk yet #hopefully i can keep people engaged

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curly-bangtan · 5 years

Text

Heatwave Drabble #5: for the birthday boy (M)

[Heatwave // Godless // Heatwave Drabbles]

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Summary: For Taehyung’s birthday, you’ve planned a special surprise-filled evening just for him as his best friend by day, fuck buddy by night. But especially after a few drinks, he finds it difficult keeping his hands off you, which isn’t a good thing in front of all your friends.

Genre: drabble, smut, fwb au, roommate au, f2l

Warnings: teacher/student roleplay (if you’re not into that, just skip to the next scene, it’s meant to be slightly sarcastic anyway), brief lap dance, oral (m&f), overstimulation (m&f), unprotected sex (your girl finally invested in the pill yay), cum dumpster, facial, cum play and consumption, squirting, basically filth, light BDSM like spanking, handcuffs, choking, the usual, daddy kink (you know HW!Tae)

Word count: 11.3k yikes

A/N: Happy early birthday to the best boy! Why do I call these drabbles when it’s basically a series at this point smh -_- Enjoy this filthy monster~

“Surprise! Happy Birthday!”

Taehyung jumps beside you as you switch on the lights to your flat, illuminating the room full of people leap out from their hiding place at his arrival. The last syllable of their celebratory chant hangs in the air for an awkward moment as he takes in everything you put together for his birthday surprise.

Shiny party streamers decorating the walls, black and gold balloons bobbing against the ceiling, printed photos of your best memories together hanging from shelf to shelf, all his and your closest friends gathered to greet him. And of course, the impeccable two-layered strawberry chocolate sponge cake sitting on a platter that you know would excite him the most.

A smile spreads his mouth wide and square as he turns to you, his cheeks bundling up like rising bread in sheer elation.

“No you didn’t, Y/N.”

Then you’re being suffocated in a bone-crushing hug, your ribs almost cracking under his snake-like squeeze. His chest rumbles in the most boyish giggle.

“Hap-pee-burf-day-” You manage to utter as you move your arms between two to create some space for you to breathe.

Seeing Taehyung this happy, especially knowing you’re the cause of it, is truly a feeling matched by no other. You don’t have a massive squadron of friends, you are more the type to carefully select those you actually like and get along with. To put it badly, you’re picky, judgy and quite a bitch when it comes to making friends. But the few you actually care about, you love ferociously and passionately, willing to cut off your own limb for them. And Taehyung is at the top of that list.

“You’re actually the best, I love you.” When he finally lets you go from his painful but appreciated embrace, his hands rest on your waist, lingering.

You had just treated him to a birthday dinner at his favourite steakhouse, roommate to roommate, in order to enable this surprise party. A few pints might have been downed for the occasion, which explains his excessive touching. Taehyung has never been able to hold his liquor, always a lightweight. The number of times you’ve had to half-carry half-drag him out of a club and stick your fingers down his throat in a dark alley is truly embarrassing for him.

“I am the best. You’re lucky I love you too, dork.” With his nostrils flaring from excitement, you can’t help but pinch his nose before turning to the guests and properly starting the party.

To be honest, you wouldn’t have been able to pull it off without the help of anyone else. His parents have come to town to visit him during the day, so off he went to show them around the food market, the park and his favourite vintage stores. Which gave you plenty of time to set up the house, prepare the refreshments, and buy the birthday cake. But keeping him from returning home was a feat that you had to enlist his parents’ aid in, and ever the obedient son, Taehyung of course did not argue when his folks disagreed with his suggestion to go back to the apartment. Then, it was a matter of taking him to dinner, deftly urging him to meet you there rather than going together from the flat so not to miss your reservation. The rounds of alcohol and your tiny bladder slyly masked the many bathroom runs you took in order to text Lotta to gather everyone to your place. And when everything was set, you headed back with the clueless Taehyung, giddy with a belly full of Michelin star food.

It was purely out of your headstrong resistance that you two didn’t stumble into the apartment making out, exposing your on-going debauchery to all your unaware friends. He had begun to feel you up on the way home, grabbing your ass one too many times for it to be merely playful. Honestly, it’s never easy rejecting his advances, not with your nymphomaniac track record anyway. But tonight was especially difficult, knowing what you have planned for him after the party…

From the corner of your eye you see Taehyung chattering away with friends from his class, and from the way he’s waving his hands around, you can tell it’s about the latest Christmas horror story of the two of you trying to stuff a turkey.

The memory of you yelling at each other to grab-this-grab-that warms your chest more than the white wine you’re sipping on. It’s always these stupid anecdotes that mean the most.

“Looks like he’s enjoying himself.”

Lotta’s voice startles you from your thoughts. Hands held behind her shyly, she smiles at the sight of the outburst of laughter from the guests at his story.

Aside from Taehyung, you would say she’s your best friend, having gone to the same highschool together and now the same university. You knew you would be close the moment she told you her star sign - there isn’t a more iconic duo than an Aries and a Leo. She puts up with a lot of your shit but also isn’t afraid to scream some sense into you whenever you pull something rogue, which you guess is very often.

“Yep. He should probably stop drinking though.” You say as you watch him tip the contents of his glass down his throat. “I swear to god if he throws up on the couch, I’ll chop his dick off.” Of course you wouldn’t, how could you ever bring yourself to hurt that godsent meatstick that fuck tears out of you? You both giggle nonetheless.

“You’re funny with him.” Lotta is wearing a smug expression that you distinctly dislike.

“What do you mean?”

“You act like he’s some annoying brother who you hate, but then you go and take him to this boujee-ass steakhouse, throw him a surprise party and splash out on his birthday gift. You beat him up when he uses your shampoo, kick him when he accidentally scrunches up your notes, and threaten to emasculate him if he spills alcohol on your favourite couch that you treat like your newborn child. But you secretly care so much about him that I know you’d give him your kidney if he needed one.”

You blink at her.

Not quite sure what to say.

“Well, yeah, of course I care about him. Like you said, he’s a brother to me.” Okay, but do you let someone who’s just a brother to you cum on your face? “You don’t live with him so you don’t know what a useless brat he is. He burns pasta, Lotta. Pasta. Seriously, he’s such a dipshit, but of course I care about him. What’s funny about that?” Lying straight through your teeth is a Y/N specialty. As long as you say it with enough confidence, you can sell any bullshit.

But maybe you’re sounding a little defensive.

Lotta is clever, it is why you’re friends. Where this observation of hers is headed, you’re unsure of. She could turn this into a lecture about your abrasive personality, or suspect that something else is going on between you and Taehyung other than sharing rent.

“Nothing, I just said it was funny. The way you are.” Her smile tells you that it’s probably the former of the two possibilities.

“What can I say, I’m a funny person.” Not entirely buying it though, you shrug and play along.

Another bout of laughter breaks out from Taehyung and his friends, catching both your attentions. He thrives in social situations like these, good at entertaining people with his odd humour. You watch the flash of his teeth, the crinkle of his amused eyes, tongue flicking out to wet his lips every other sentence.

“You know, he actually is really hot.” Now, that you didn’t expect at all. Your head whips to face your best friend, whose eyes fixes back on yours but not before you catch her checking him out.

“Um, what?”

“I’m just saying. You can’t deny that he’s gorgeous, charming too.” Brows raised, Lotta lifts both hands up in defense when she see the arrows your glare is shooting at her. “Definitely the best looking guy I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re drunk. Since when did you admit that Taehyung is ‘hot’?” In complete ridicule, you scoff at her. Though, her point is completely 100% valid and true.

“Do you see me with a drink? I’m sober tonight, got an early shift tomorrow.”

“Why are you suddenly saying this? Weren’t you the one who wouldn’t shut up when I went to Mykonos with him because you thought I was too blinded by his looks to even know if he’s a serial killer?” Never has Lotta expressed the slightest, most remote of interest in Taehyung, not once properly acknowledging his attractiveness.

“I’m just saying. It’s a shame that you can’t see him that way anymore after spending so much time together.” It’s her turn to shrug, again with the annoying cocky expression.

Yes, after spending so much time sleeping together, more like.

“Yeah, no. That’s gross. You won’t get it because you don’t have a guy best friend. But trust me, no way would I ever go there with him.” Go ahead and call you a pathological liar, you don’t care. You’d never hear the end of it if Lotta finds out you and your ‘guy best friend’ have been knocking boots for over half a year.

You catch Taehyung glancing over to you, eyes twinkling with amusement, signalling for you to come over and join his crowd. Telepathy is one of your secret talents nowadays, you just know each other so well that spoken words are not a necessity for communication.

Taehyung watches you manoeuvre past those chattering bodies from across the room, making your way towards him with Lotta trailing behind. He knows he is definitely drunk, so it might just be the alcohol getting to his head but something looks a little different about you tonight. By that, he doesn’t mean your curled hair, or that new red dress you’re wearing that introduces your cleavage to the entire world. You’re kind of… glowing. There is a permanent smile on your face, even while resting the corners of your lips are turned up. And when you’re in a good mood, you are so transparent about it that you basically radiate like a disco ball in the room.

His chest feels warm. Maybe it’s the wine.

“Fuck, she’s so fit.”

For a second, Taehyung is worried that he thought out loud, but then realised that the voice belonged to Seojoon. He turns to his friend to find him ogling at your figure.

He doesn’t know what to say. It’s weird if he agrees. But he also doesn’t trust his inebriated state to execute a flat out lie that convincingly.

“You don’t know how lucky you are to have Y/N as your roommate, man. If it were me, I would’ve tapped that on the first night.” Seojoon continues, taking a swig of his beer.

“As if you could.” Taehyung snorts, unable to help himself. “She’s out of your league, ass.”

“Fair point. I heard she is a freak in bed, too. Do you ever hear, like, sex noises?” A freak indeed.

“Sometimes…” It’s true, even now. Occasionally he will stumble home with a girl he picked up at the bar only to hear the bed creaking furiously or breathy moans sounding from your room. Walls are thin. Sometimes it turned him on, other times it pissed him off.

“Bet you wank to it, eh? Taehyungie?” Seojoon ruffles his hair just as you and Lotta come within earshot. Liquor-brazen, he is suddenly overcome with an urge to announce to the whole room: Y/N and I are fucking. Yeah, that’s right. She’s my fuck buddy, so you can stop trying to hit on her right now because I’m gonna be the one she’s riding tonight. Seojoon, fucking suck on that. I don’t need to wank to her sex noises when I’m the one coaxing them from her.

However, a small sober part of his conscience tells him that he really shouldn’t do that; if he does, he probably won’t get any riding tonight. So he clamps his mouth shut.

You arrive amidst them in that sinful dress that reduces Taehyung to a teenage boy, and you take your turn giving them brief hugs as formalities, your best friend beside you mirroring your action. When you reach Taehyung, he pulls you in roughly by the waist, wine sloshing in his hand. From his careless force and lazy grin, you can tell he is almost completely gone. Taehyung is a wine-killer, but wine is also a Taehyung-killer.

Highly conscious of the presence of all your mates while he clearly isn’t, you pretend to roll your eyes and pry his hand off the small of your back. It doesn’t budge. So, awkwardly, with your midriff locked in Taehyung’s arm, you lean over to hug his last friend Woosik who gives you a shy pat on your shoulder.

The conversation resumes, morphing into Lotta telling everyone the most embarrassing stories of you during high school - back when you had braces and had the biggest crush on the captain of the football team. You don’t even try to deny it, laughing along at your pathetic 14 year old self. Though, you’re only half paying attention, the other half is keenly aware of the way Taehyung’s thumb is rubbing gentle circles on your pelvic bone. When you peek up at him, you find him already staring at you with eyes you know too well.

The ‘I’m gonna eat you out until you squirt’ eyes.

Fuck.

Then you notice Lotta’s sharp eyes on Taehyung’s hand gripping your waist. The ‘hold up, what could be happening over here?’ eyes.

Double fuck.

Tipping your toes, you whisper into your roommate’s clueless ear. “Let go, people are watching.” You almost allow your lips to graze his skin because you know how much it turns him on, but you remember to behave. But this close, his warm familiar scent tingles your nose in a way that makes you want to hug him.

Taehyung pulls away to look at your face, clearly displeased, then regards everyone in the circle. When he notices Lotta’s focus on the two of you, he slowly withdraws his paw, but not without purposely brushing past your ass.

“Strawberry-flavoured lube?”

Taehyung audibly gasps in disbelief as he tears open his poorly wrapped present.

“Yeah, you like strawberries right?” Seojoon chuckles and claps his back so violently that he falls forwards. On the other side of him, you haul him back up onto the sofa.

Everyone is gathered around the pile of birthday gifts on the coffee table, but not before witnessing you scold Woosik for not leaving his drink on the kitchen island from which the couch is a safe distance to prevent any spillage. Lotta just laughed at your fixation.

So far, the array of presents Taehyung has received ranges from Amazon vouchers, to expensive whiskey, to a funky tie. Yours sit furthest away from him, which he practically leapt in excitement when he saw the size of, only to be forced to open it last because you insist it’s going to be the best one.

“You’re insufferable, Seojoon.” Taehyung rolls his eyes yet fails to suppress his grin. Oh, you’re definitely trying out the lube at some point.

After ripping into a couple more, he finally arrives at your present for him. It spans an entire arm’s length; you know every guest must be wondering to themselves what it could possibly be. Taehyung drops onto his knees before it and carefully peels away the tape this time, knowing it probably took you awhile to wrap it up this neatly. You watch his long cautious fingers reveal the gift you had spent weeks raking your head for.

“Stop…” His eyes light up at the polished cedar easel that he caresses over as gentle as he would your skin. But as he continues to unwrap the present, a box of oil paints, a wooden palette and a set of 16 expensive natural fibre brushes are unveiled. “Oh my god, there’s more?”

Ceasing in action, he looks up at you, jaw so slack you bet you can throw a pea into his mouth even with your bad aim. The surprise on his face, almost a replica of his expression when everyone jumped out at him and yelled ‘Happy Birthday’ an hour ago. Except this time there is something more tender about how his wide pupils bore into yours. It makes you squirm.

Then without warning, he dives onto you, crushing you in the most fatal of embraces; you swear something in your spine cracked as you fall back onto the cushions, suffocated. People let out a sound of amusement at your struggle, but with his warm breath fanning your neck, you don’t even hear them.

After allowing this sweet painful moment for a few seconds more, you shove Taehyung’s heavy body off you, harder than you need so he slumps onto Seojoon.

“You’re actually the best, I love you.” He squeals like a boy on Christmas day before examining the paintbrushes with the utmost careful touch, as if afraid he would bend the bristles the wrong way.

What is he so cute for?

You kind of really want to pat his head and kiss his cheek right now. But there’s an audience obstructing.

Looking up, you lock eyes with Lotta. She is smiling, endeared by the purity of his reaction as well. See, not even she is immune his stupid cuteness. How are you supposed to?

Taehyung’s heart is constricting as he strokes the fine wooden edge of the giant disassembled easel. Of course, you know him better than any of his other friends. He has recently expressed an interest in painting, though his love for art and sophistication has been harbouring for a while now. He has only ever made subtle comments about wanting to properly get into it but not having the proper equipment to and not knowing the best brand to purchase. Yet you had picked up on it nevertheless. Everything combined must have costed you a significant portion of your allowance. Even he would not have splashed out this much on himself.

He turns back to you again from where he kneels in front of the coffee table. You are observing him with a thing he wishes to be adoration, a glimmer in your smile that wears more beautiful than any dress on you. For a second, there’s a flutter in his stomach and it confuses him because it feels an awful lot like butterflies.

But then you kick his back with the heel of your foot to get him to stand and Taehyung remembers that you are best friends. He’s not supposed to be thinking like that.

After cutting the cake, with food being a major satisfaction factor of any party, everyone sort of just hovers, huddled in their little groups with their plate of dessert in one hand, while they resume their conversation. The music is turned up loud so they all have to half-yell; some don’t even bother talking as they dig in, you included.

Being a quiet eater that you are, you stand by the island counter, sipping your wine in between bites of that chocolate decadence. Taehyung approaches you with his already empty plate; you haven’t even made it through half your slice yet. Judging by the lethargy in his step and that icing-slathered grin he has worn the entire night, you can tell he was the one who finished the second bottle of wine you opened.

“Hey.” Your fingers do a weird little wave that is so completely uncharacteristic, but tipsy-Y/N is sort of that friendly and laid back.

“Hey, pretty.” His hand trails around the corner of the counter surface and traps you between it and his body as he comes up behind you. Immediately you stiffen, looking around to see if anyone, especially Lotta, is looking. But when you find everyone preoccupied either with each other or the cake, your shoulders relax.

“What’s up? You having a good time?” Twisting to face him, you edge back until the counter digs into your back. Taehyung’s face is a dangerous proximity to yours.

The anticipation for the night you have planned for him in your bedroom thrums in your core. Patience has never been one of your strengths, and right now it is testing your very limit. You could kick everyone out right now if you really wanted to. But you won’t. You’ll wait.

You wipe the chocolate off the corner of his mouth with a swipe, the gesture you can’t tell if motherly or romantic. And just because Taehyung is peering down at you so longingly, you flick your tongue out and suck the sweetness on your thumb.

His breath hitches.

“Uh- I…” For a second, all thought is scattered in his brain, and you almost laugh aloud at how susceptible he is to your attacks. “Yeah, of course. I’m having the best time.”

“Am I the best roommate ever or what?” You watch his eyes trained on your mouth. From his alcohol scent, you don’t trust him to have enough restraint not to kiss you right now so you turn your back to him and rest your elbows upon the island top, leaning over to finish your cake.

In your peripheral vision, you spy his hands crawling towards your sides to cinch around your waist, his front pressing into you as he holds you from behind. The warmth of his body seeps into your back, and you swear you can feel the beating of his chest against your shoulder blades. A tingle shoots straight down your spine when he plants a soft, brief kiss on the shell of your ear.

Good thing you turned around then, your intuition was right. Taehyung has never been able to suppress his overt affection after a few drinks, and certainly not after this many. And no matter how much you want to just turn around and pull him into your lips, you fight it.

“Babe...” He groans into your ear and though it was barely audible even to you, you quickly glance up to see if anyone has heard. Of course, no one heard, they are all stood far enough that even without the music, they’d have to strain their ears to hear his whisper. Paranoia is eating your head away.

“Don’t ‘babe’ me, Taehyung.” Your heart is racing, which is weird because you swear you used to be completely immune to his charms. “You’re being too obvious, babe.”

“You don’t ‘babe’ me. I can’t control myself when you call me that.” The warmth of his breath fans all over the back of your neck, sending a convulsion of shivers down your spine.

One of his hands stretches for your wine glass, but knowing him well enough to predict it, you draw it away from his reach. “Stop drinking, you’re literally about to pass out.”

“No, you’re about to pass out. On my-” hiccup, “dick.” You keep your eyes locked on the crowd, ready to shove Taehyung away if anyone looks your way. But still, you can’t help but lean back into him.

“That made no sense.” You chuckle, fingers brushing over the smooth thin skin of this hand.

“Just one sip.”

“Taehyung. Stop. Drinking.” You grab his hand that tries to make a run for the wine again.

“But, Y/N…” He whines and slumps onto you, knowing that whining has gotten him what he wanted before.

You turn around, grab his face and pull him towards you until your mouth is brushing his earlobe. “Be a good boy and stop drinking if you want the best birthday sex of your life after this party. You better not get whiskey dick because a have a lot planned for you.”

At that, Taehyung stops breathing, stops resisting. Against your shoulder, you feel his chest jump. “Oh. Um. Okay, yup, no more drinking. Got it, ma’am.”

He sighs, completely at your disposal, as your touch trails from the sensitive side of his neck down to his torso. “Good.” After looking around again to check that no one is looking, you press your alcohol-infused lips onto his hastily, savouring his softness for no longer than a few seconds before pulling away. God, is it difficult to pull away. You’re aching for him. “Go entertain the guests while you sober up.”

Satisfied grin from the kiss stretched across his face, he nods obediently and scampers over to his friends.

“Are you ready yet?” Taehyung calls, impatient and giddy, the music that you’ve put on playing softly in the background.

“Give me one more second.” You reply from the bathroom, doing up your last button and regarding yourself in the mirror. Hm, not bad. You’re pleased with how this turned out, if you do say so yourself. Taehyung is going to lose his mind.

Sheer black stockings stretched thin over your legs, you strut into his room where he is seated on a chair in nothing but his boxers, wrists shackled to the back. When his eyes land on you, a strangled noise emits from his throat.

“Holy. Fuck. Holy fuck. Holyfuckholyfuckholyfuck.” He chokes out.

The checkered material of your school skirt flies up at your every step teasingly, not high enough for him to peek your panties, but enough for your thighs to be flaunted.The clip of your stockings sit cool and beguiling on your quads. First two buttons of your white blouse undone, the matching red tartan tie hangs loosely around your neck between your exposed, pushed up cleavage. Your hair is tied into two school-girl braids, decorated in ribbons.

You’re Taehyung’s walking talking fantasy.

Innocent, chaste, ready for him to defile.

“Sir.” You address him, committing to your character, as you bow your head in courtesy.

Taehyung doesn’t appear capable of words, Adam’s apple wobbling in awe. So you continue your approach, making sure to regard him with large, demure eyes. As you sink down onto your knees between his widespread trembling legs, you notice a prominence already erecting in his boxers. You try not to smirk.

“What can I do for you, sir?” You put on your sweetest, most virgin of voices and bat your lashes once at him.

Chest rising quickly, Taehyung gulps as he realises that he’s most definitely going about to have the best sex of his life. “Um. Uh. Um.”

Smiling at his malfunctioning cognition, no thanks to you, you decide to help him out a little. “I’ve been sent to you for being a bad girl, sir.”

Do you find this slightly humiliating and degrading? Yes, you’re a woman of pride and a feminist. But does Taehyung’s birthday outweigh your morals? Yes, if only just for this night.

“What… What did you do, baby girl?” Voice dangerously deep, Taehyung watches you from his handcuffed posture, watches you twirl your braids in your fingers before they move sensual down your front, curving over your breasts and travelling to your core.

“It’s embarrassing to say but…” You look down in feign shame. “I touched myself.”

His whole frame tenses, arms straining to be freed from the cuffs so he can throw you onto the bed and fuck you mercilessly. His lips are parted, breath unsteady, cheeks still slightly stained from the alcohol but you made sure that he’s mostly sober by now. “Why did you touch yourself?”

“I was thinking about you, sir, and I just couldn’t help myself. Something started tickling down there and it felt so good to touch it.” Biting your lip, your fingers reach your clit over your skirt and start rubbing. The other hand traces swirls slowly up his thighs, higher and higher, until he’s buckling his hips.

“Wait, pause.” He says, your touch ceasing at his command. “Fuck, Y/N, I’m not going to last if you do this to me. I might even cum my pants.”

Usual smugness returning as you smirk up at him, your teeth digs deeper into your lower lip, refusing to break character. “Well, it’s a good thing we have all night then, sir. A water hose doesn’t just fire once does it?”

“Fuck.” Shutting his eyes, his head falls back to reveal his gulping jugular. Already so malleable? Yeah, he’s definitely not going to last. The first round. “Okay, okay. Resume.”

Your fingers reach the hem of his boxers, skimming through his tan, lustrous inner thighs. He jerks, his hard member jabbing out the soft cotton, begging to be freed. “So I was wondering if there is any way I could get out of this punishment, sir. My parents can’t find out that I’ve been a bad girl. I’ll do anything you want me to do, sir.”

“I see, Miss Y/L/N… How about, you warm up my lap for me first? I’m feeling slightly cold.” He wets his lips and bounces on his toes, his hard length jolting along with his legs.

“Oh, of course, sir.” When you stand up, you make sure to do it slowly, curving your body towards him to give him a good look at your breasts. He doesn’t miss the chance to devour them with his eyes.

Your hips begin to sway in the rhythm of the slow sensual music while you turn until your back faces him. You feel his glare immediate follow your ass, skirt sloshing side to side to reveal your plush cheeks. But rather than falling onto his lap as he wants, you stride over his leg, hand trailing across his chest as you begin to walk around him.

Massaging up his bicep, your hand arrives at his collar as you lick a thin strip up his neck. Taehyung shudders, struggling against his handcuffs again, cursing. “I can do anything you want me to, sir.” He shivers as you whisper into his ear, teeth grazing his skin. Your own heart is racing from excitement. Maybe you should do this more often. It’s selfish of you to do so since it’s meant to be his birthday sex after all, but you enjoy having him helt under you, seconds away from whimpering, gone be his natural preference for dominance.

As you walk around him, his head turns with you, not wishing for his sight to miss a second of this private show. Patience isn’t something he’s born with, he is a man who’s used to ceasing everything he wants. You know what must be going through his head right now, the anticipation, the hunger. So finally, when you’ve done a full circle around, hands not once missing the opportunity to feather his chest, you decide to ease him a little.

Deliberately unrushed, you sit inch by inch down onto his lap until his dick is burrowed between your warm cheeks underneath your skirt.

“Baby…” Taehyung immediately sits up, mouth arriving at the back of your neck, exhaling his hot fervour. The feeling of his skin pressed on the strip of yours between your skirt and cropped blouse has you craving for him to pound into you right now. Nothing can describe the flash of desire you get when you feel the touch of his naked body.

Then you begin to roll your hips, drawing loops of infinity with your ass to the beat of the song. The groan you elicit makes your cunt pulse. Taehyung’s stiff length jerks between your wiggling ass. His head falls onto your shoulder in a huff, metallic sound of his chains ringing as his arms clench.

“Sir, is that warm enough?” Your hips are merciless, rock back and forth, providing him with the friction he so craves. Hell, maybe you should start doing this for a living.

“Y… Yeah.” There is defeat in his voice, a croak that tells you that you’re the only woman to ever put him in his place like this. The only he’d ever submit to.

Slowly, you peel yourself off his lap, delighting in the small stained spot on his boxers, evidence of his drooling dick. You sink onto your knees before him again, fingers crawling playfully up his thighs. “You seem a little stiff, sir. Do you want me to ease some tension in your muscles for you?”

“Please be a dear.” The fervour in his eyes as he gazes down at you is pure, undiluted. It stirs something beastly inside you.

You’ve sucked Taehyung off a hundred times before, but something about the fact that he’s handcuffed to a chair on his birthday, almost cumming his pants, makes you especially eager this time.

A string of precum greets you as you take his lividly throbbing cock out of its restraints. You spare it a few pumps before you enclose the warm wet cave of your mouth around it. It’s perhaps evil of you, but you cut to the chase and go straight to deep-throating. He lets out a yelp of surprise when his tip slides smoothly through and hits the back of your throat. He’s going to cum soon, might as well give him your all, right?

Your mouth has gotten used to resisting the gag reflexes by now, engulfing him like a strawberry ice lolly during the summer heat. The occasional scrape of your teeth, just the way he loves, has him shiver beneath you. If he likes it rough, he should be able to take it rough. And when your tongue begins its inexorable attack at the pinch of skin where his tip ties to his shaft, Taehyung lets out a throaty cry. Not even a moan, a cry.

“Fuck, I’m losing my mind. Y/N, oh my god, keep going.” Through your curled lashes, you gaze up at him. His brows furrowed, guzzling up his favourite view in the world, maybe second to you riding him. Jaw unscrewed, he heaves at your large feign-innocent eyes, wrists dying to be freed so he could fuck your mouth.

Two throbs at the base of his cock, and he’s cumming right down your throat. It’s a larger load that either of you’d expected, telling of his obscene concupiscence. There’s so much cum that you can’t swallow, so you have no choice but to let it flow down his cock. With you still staring at him, he watches his white hot fluid dribble out your mouth and onto him, his features screwed tight in pleasure.

“Lick it off, baby.” Taehyung rasps, half his mind completely gone, dilapidated.

You hum as you spread his liquid around his tip and along his shaft, lips now glossy, before you slowly lap it all up. You know he is particularly sensitive after cumming, so you wallow in teasing his head a bit more, watching him writhe on his seat, whining your name. “Sir, how was that?”

Taehyung’s head is tossed back, eyes shut to recover from that post-orgasm intensity. He doesn’t speak at first, still trying to piece back together his mind. “I… That was… You deserve a worse punishment for doing that to me.”

Your core twists in excitement.

Briskly, you fish out the key to his handcuffs and unlock him, thrumming from the molten fury in his eyes. “What did I do wrong, sir?”

As soon as his wrists are free from their shackles, Taehyung stands and throws you over his shoulders. Smack. He hits your ass, your skirt doing little to soften the blow. You never knew yourself to be a masochist until it comes to Taehyung; his are the only hands you’d allow to spank you.

Then he tosses you onto the bed, your skirt flying up to reveal your peachy ass as you land on your front. “You just love it when I’m under your control, don’t you? Even this innocent school-girl roleplay is just a disguise to get me to beg for you, isn’t it?”

Twisting your head back, a smirk plays at your lips as you regard his frustrated yet immensely pleased expression. His fingers glide up your silky stockings enticingly, sending shivers coursing up your legs. “Sir, I have no idea what you mean.”

“Look at your fucking ass in this skirt, holy fuck.” He begins to knead the supple flesh of your behind, pushing up the skirt until it sit on your lower back.

Another smack.

He’s such an ass man through and through.

“Do you like my uniform, sir?” You moan between his smacks. Nothing really is compelling you to continue with this roleplay, but something tells you that Taehyung is bursting from it.

“I fucking love it, baby girl.” Smack. You can practically hear him grinning in satisfaction. His palm massages the redness he inflicted like smearing paint, touch growing closer and closer to your core.

Then with one push at your inner thighs, he spreads your legs wide open.

“Fucking hell. Crotchless? You’re really spoiling me tonight.” Like a little boy on Christmas Day, he marvels at your glistening slit, gaping at him in anticipation. Another small surprise for him.

“Of course- ahh!” You break into a moan when he runs two fingers down your folds, all the way to your bulging clit. “For the birthday boy.”

“Okay, now you definitely deserve the best head.” He lies on his front and grips onto your thighs to pull himself up to face level with your cunt.

You won’t tell him to prevent further ego inflation but every head he gives is the best head.

“Wait, Taehyung, it’s your birthday. Just let me-” You squirm in his clutch, trying to flip around, but he holds you still.

“Exactly. My birthday. I get to eat you out if I want to. It’s what my baby girl deserves.” For some reason, you blush. Who are you to resist head, especially from Taehyung?

Heat of his breath tickling your entrance, you plant your face onto the pillow and clamp down on your lip, preparing for that mind-twisting sensation that has a way of robbing you of sanity. His mouth finds your thighs first, kissing, sucking, blooming roses of his affection. You let him mark you - you are completely his tonight. Then his breath arrives at the sensitive crevice where your folds begin, a slow seduction towards your tingling bud. When he finally latches onto your clit, your eyes roll to the back of your empty head, a whimper ensuing.

His tongue is a predatory serpent, ceaselessly rolling your bud in his mouth. He’s rough, generous with the waves of pleasure he sends. You wish you aren’t lying on your front right now, just so you can look down at his concentrated face and pull on his wavy mop of hair.

With every flick of his tongue, you swim closer to your orgasm. His fingers are digging to your thighs, his breath quickening with his face buried in you. When he adds his long slender digits, you know your demise is round the corner.

“Fuck, daddy.” You yell into the pillow, that name coming so naturally to you that it requires zero brain processing to leave you.

Taehyung hums in response, those baritone vibrations shaking into your core until your leg involuntarily kicks back. Gripping onto the sheets, a string of profanities expel from you as that euphoric current comes crashing onto you, drowning your surroundings so that all you feel is his face, his tongue, his teeth, still mercilessly going despite your state.

“Fuck!” A tear slips from the violent stimulation at your clit continuing past your orgasm. You guess it’s payback.

Not one minute later, a second climax hits you, this time stronger than the last as it rides on the residual pleasure. The orgasm disperses into tension down your thighs, dying for more friction to relieve your cunt of the blissful ache. Warm tears stain the pillowcase your face is buried in, your cries muffled.

His pace gradually decelerates into soft kisses on your flower, fingers withdrawing to massage your folds. You are motionless, completely depleted after the dopaminergic release. Delicately, his lips travel up to your ass, where he sucks more colours as he awaits your recovery.

“How was that, baby girl?” Taehyung slowly turns you over onto your back, a lazy grin on his glistening mouth, your wetness slathered all over his nose. It views in your eyes as a display of your possession. You don’t miss the triumph in his gaze; you wonder if he likes making you cum more than cumming himself.

“Your mouth is fucking incredible.” You bask in the post-orgasm high, pulling him atop you, hand locking in his curls. You taste yourself as you kiss him, slowly and lethargically, your energy ebbing back to you.

“Yeah?” He smiles against your lips. “You know what’s incredible? You in this fucking uniform.” Pulling away, he scans your body top to bottom. And as you follow his gaze, you notice his hardened cock, once again ready for another round. You surprise yourself with how ready you are to take him, exhaustion not yet settled in from his overstimulation.

“You like it that much?” You press your lips together, and as used to Taehyung’s constant flattery as you should be, you still feel proud.

Taehyung nestles his face onto your neck. “If we went to high school together, I would 100% have been your bitch. Not a single doubt. Whipped.”

Your heart squeezes. Whipped.

You kiss his hair, resisting the urge to make a comment about what he said. “Haha. I would not have noticed you, I was obsessed with the captain of the football team.”

Taehyung lifts his head up, frowning at you with a playful annoyance. “Are you sure you want to mention another man in front of me right now?” For emphasis of his possessive mood, he grinds his member into your thigh. You can’t help but push back to feel him digging into you. Possessive Taehyung toys with your strings.

“Yeah, what are you going to do about it?” You taunt further, pulling on his locks. Taehyung’s competitiveness is an easy target for manipulation; everytime he starts to go soft and sappy on you, all you have to do is tug on his jealousy and the bull will come charging back full force.

Surely enough, he growls into your ear. “Don’t forget who you’re speaking to, miss. You wouldn’t want your parents knowing the naughty things you’ve been up to, would you?” So he does love the roleplay. His tone slightly sarcastic, but also not really. But before you can hiss a witty response, he silences you with his teeth on your neck. As he sucks on your tender skin, your nails rake across his back in pleasure. He’s growing bolder with his territory.

“More hickeys?” You purr, not exactly in the complaining tone you’d wished it would come out in.

“Yeah, what are you going to do about it?” He mocks, leaving a wet purple trail across your throat.

You allow it for the sole reason that it’s his birthday. Otherwise, you’d be kicking off.

You’ve never liked the idea of hickeys, the notion that someone feels entitled to mark your skin as theirs. You don’t belong to anyone. This is your own skin, and no one else’s. Yet - right now, as Taehyung nips at your neck, hand yanking on your uniform’s tie to pull you closer to him, you feel like you do belong…

You don’t finish that thought.

Reaching down, you begin stroking his patiently awaiting cock. “You’re brave for someone who’s dick is in my hands.”

Taehyung breaks away from your neck and reviews his work of art. The wolfish grin an indication of his pride. “You’re going to kill me tomorrow.” He says without the fear that should come with such statement.

Yes, you’re definitely going to.

“Then fuck me until I forgive you.” You challenge, unbuttoning the first button of your shirt while your stroking quickens.

He doesn’t need to be told twice. Fingers scrambling to undo the rest of your shirt, his mouth finds yours again, sucking on your bottom lip until it’s sure to swell later. Your bra falls loose with a dexterous flick, a gesture he can do in his sleep. Yet, he makes no move to remove your checkered tie at all.

When you try to loosen it yourself, he grabs your hand and pins it against the pillow. “That stays on tonight, along with the skirt and the stockings.” Voice laced with carnality, there’s a feral glint in his glare.

“Yes, sir.” Smile unstifled, you fall back into obedience.

Taehyung dares to plant more bitemarks down your chest before taking your nipple in his mouth, tormenting the sensitive bud relentlessly. Patience wearing thin, you line his tip with your slit, dallying it around to coat it with your dampness.

“Wait, grab a condom.” He mutters.

“Don’t need one.”

He looks up, confused. “What? Why?”

“I started taking the pill. Surprise.”

The look of pure shock and delight that usurps his face, for the third? fourth? time tonight, sows a seed of joy in your core.

“Wait, seriously?” You swear you feel his cock twitch happily in your hand. That stupid boxy grin that makes him look like a kid again… You want to kiss him dizzy.

“Yes, seriously.” You would never admit that you started taking contraception solely for Taehyung, because that would be weird, you absolutely did not do it for Taehyung. You’d always wanted to start contraception anyway. This was your own decision, influenced by no one else.

Certainly. No one else. Of course.

“Holy fucking shit. Y/N, you’re amazing.” Taehyung cannot contain his glee despite its juxtaposition with his pulsating cock about to enter you any moment now. “All this for me?” He asks, still in disbelief, as if the answer isn’t already written in big bold black letters.

“For the birthday boy, and the birthday boy only.” Your nose grazes his. These are the very words you’d be embarrassed to be caught saying to any guy, yet you’re currently too fuelled by the desire to please him to berate yourself.

Without another second gone to waste, Taehyung pushes his girthy member into your heat. Though it glides in with ease, your walls are stretched so wide that your inside stir, a sore pressure squeezing around him with each thrust. You always seem to forget how well he fits into you, and so each time comes as an eye-rolling surprise - the way he fills you so completely and entirely with his hefty cock.

“Oh fuck, you feel so-” He doesn’t manage to finish his sentence, too caught up in the raw unobstructed sensation of your slick walls.

Lifting your leg over his shoulder, the cavernous angle allows him to jolt deeper into you, his tip violently punching through you. While one hand remains on your ankle, the other twists your tie around his wrist and pulls as if it were a leash. “Sir…” You choke out at the constriction around your throat.

“Are you going to bad girl again?” He grunts, sweat beading on his forehead while he continues to ram his hips.

“No, sir. I won’t touch myself again,” you moan under him, “unless you are watching.”

“Fuck, Y/N.” One eye shut, Taehyung sticks his thumb into your mouth to suckle on. Your tongue swirls around his finger, biting down every time you need to shriek in pleasure.

After a while, he flips your bodies over so that you are riding him, watching, mesmerised, as your breasts bounce freely each time you spring on his dick. Your body falls back at the rippling coil inside you, hands braced on the mattress to keep you upright.

Taehyung could watch you ride him for the rest of his life. Hell, if he has a heart attack and dies this very moment, he would die the happiest man.

Sometimes, while you’re fucking, Taehyung gets a sudden rush of jealousy. Jealous that he wasn’t the one to ruin your innocence. Jealous that someone else other than him got to, or still gets to, fuck you like this.

He pulls on your tie so that you fall over him, lips colliding to remind himself that he’s the one fucking you right now, the rest shouldn’t matter. The way you moan into him reassures that no one has ever, or can ever, fuck you the way he does.

Then a messy whimper leaves you like a symphony, and for the third time tonight, you come undone, unravelled.

“Fu-u-u-uckkk.” You cry, arms looping around Taehyung’s neck, holding on as if he’s your lifeline because you yourself are unsure how much of this you can take before you drown.

“Baby, you’re so good, cumming for me again.” He sings, knowing that words like these thrums something in your core. You lap up his praise, smiling against his teeth despite yourself. It’s honestly a miracle how your usual brusque controlling self is suddenly transformed into his docile little girl, especially after a round of orgasms. “I’m going to cum again too.”

“Daddy, fuck, please. Cum inside me.” You pant, hips bouncing as fast as your aching muscles allow. Truth be told, no one has ever finished inside you before. And you are dying to find out how it feels.

Taehyung seems to know this. He grabs onto your waist, holding you in place, and plunges unforgivingly into you, penetrating your walls so ardently that you are shoved near the brink of yet another orgasm.

A grumble rippling through the room, finally, you feel a hot jet shoot into you, squirt after squirt of his thick cum filling you up. He frowns, a hoarse cry from the immense pleasure arriving at his cock, taking over him. Fucking hell, this is hot.

And kind of really intimate.

However, you notice that his pace has yet to slacken.

“I’m not done with you yet.” His eyes open to reveal pupils glowing with vehemence. Your clit throbs.

Still inside you, he turns you over so that you are both on your sides spooning, one of your legs hoisted up by his rough grip. The slap of your skin rings crisp and clear as he continues to fuck you. You lean back into him, ignoring the sticky coat of sweat coalescing your skins. His cum lubricates each thrust as you feel some spill out of you. His fingers start to stimulate your clit to help you reach your ultimate climax, viciously rubbing your sensitive swollen bud so much that you begin to see stars.

For him to keep fucking you even after cumming despite his tremendous sensitivity… Taehyung is going wild tonight.

“Are you going to cum one last time for me, baby girl?” He pants heavily in your ear.

“Yes, daddy.” Your own cunt is leaking profusely its tears of joy; you don’t think you’ve ever been this wet before.

In a few more thrusts, Taehyung is cumming inside you again, this time naturally less than the last, yet from his loud coarse groan, you deduce is much more intense. He pounds slowly yet robustly, milking every last drop into you. Due to the sheer oversensitivity, he has no choice but to pull out of you immediately after, leaving a spurt of his cum surging out of you.

“Oh my god.” He moans into your neck, both your heads spinning from the vigour of your intercourse.

But he knows you’re still a minute away from your orgasm. And never one to disappoint, he quickly sits up and spreads your legs open.

“Holy fuck.” Taehyung freezes at the sight of his cum slowly trickling out of you. To him, it’s a sign of possession, ownership. Apart from his ex, he has never fucked without protection, certainly not those random one night stands. To him, it’s a sign of intimacy.

Catching his white liquid in two fingers, he inserts it into your already gaping mouth, smearing it all over your tongue. In your cute little braids, you swallow it willingly, and Taehyung swears that he could fuck you again right then and there.

“You like that?” He asks, sticky fingers entering your core, feeling how clenched you are due to the pent up pressure.

“Mhmm.” You nod, hips lifting off the bed so that he can reach deeper. His thumb massages your clit, long digits moving in a come hither motion, stretching your walls in cusps that his cock did not have the ductility to reach. “Ahh, shit.”

Determination worn on his face despite his tiring limbs, Taehyung fucks you with his finger as you thrash beneath him. Your clit is already exploding with sensitivity from the previous rounds, and on top of that, with his thick knuckles push into you again and again, you are clawing at him while your whole body convulses.

The coil within your finally snaps. The ecstatic sensation exploding within you, flooding your every fibre until tears spring out your eyes. A clear liquid shoots out of you to both your surprises, and sprays its droplets towards Taehyung. His eyes widen, marvelling at your beauty as you cum not only on his fingers but all over him.

“Jesus Christ!” Chuffed with himself evidently, he leans in to kiss you, deep and desperate, while his fingers slow their steady thrusts to let you ride out the remainder of your high. His mouth is warm, a familiar taste as you regain your sense of self and surrounding that you tend to lose during sex.

As your brain begins to function again, the first thought you register is how much you don’t want to stop kissing Taehyung, how much you don’t want to let go of him.

“Taehyung…” You whine, bottom lip in the possession of his teeth.

“Feeling good?” He lets go of his bite, but lips remain dearly magnetised to yours. Dragging out his fingers, the wet noises of your clenched walls ring. Taehyung sucks on his dripping digits as you push his sweat-dampened fringe out of his face to survey his eyes. Full of yearning. And the way he is sucking… appears almost as a last display of submission after completely ruining you. A last shred of I’m yours.

“So.” You peck him. “Fucking.” Another. “Good.” Peck. Your bodies naked, your skirt creased and skin claggy, you refuse to release each other from your embrace. “But Taehyung…”

“What it is, my baby?” From on top of you, he is looking down at you as if you’re some delicate little buttercup in a barren field, a ray of joy radiating from his smile.

You tense. My baby.

You two might be kind of screwed...

But you’ll think about that another time. Right now, you just want to be held and kissed and looked after.

“It’s not fair. This was meant for you, but you made it about me.” You don’t know what’s taken over you but you pout at him, the same way he would do to you when he wanted something. But why, of course, it’s just like Taehyung to make you come four times despite it being his birthday sex. You don’t even know what to expect for your own birthday.

His own hair dishevelled, he tucks your loose braids behind your ears, a gesture of affection. “Nothing gets me off more than making you feel good. This was about me. This was everything I wanted. Best sex I’ve ever had. But in what world would my best sex not include making you squirt?”

Your don’t know why but you feel incredibly vulnerable right now, your hard edges softening. It’s the after-sex glow that you’re seeing everything in. You feel warm, bubbly, tender.

And now your chest feels weird, like something itching to rupture out of your ribcage. You want it to stop, yet also don’t.

“Taehyung…” You whine his name again. “No fair… You can’t be like this.” Your brain offers no explanation as to why you’ve adopted his usual saccharine manner, other than the fact that he has fucked you completely senseless.

“Like what?” He asks, egging the rare words of sweetness out of you.

“Like… You know… So giving and nice and perf…” Your voice trails off when you notice his excited smirk. God, what the fuck are you saying? You flush in embarrassment.

“Perf…? His smug grin only grows at your shyness.

“Stop. You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Stop teasing me.” Taehyung chuckles at your frustration, taking the chance to kiss the tip of your nose before you try to squirm out of his arms like a cat.

“No, go on. You need to be better with your words. Tell me how you feel.”

Your entire face is heated.

“I… You’re just… You treat me so well. How am I supposed to sleep with anyone else anymore?” You immediately wish you didn’t say it out loud. Because your phrasing implies that you want monogamy, commitment. It’s not what you meant at all, you don’t think. You just meant… You don’t know what you just meant.

You search his eyes frantically, in fear that he’s thinking the same, only to find them calm, content. “I mean, I guess I’m pretty fucking awesome. Thanks.”

Rolling your eyes, you’re grateful for his childish humour obstructing any serious consideration of your words.

“Don’t make me take it back, moron.” You scoff, pinching his round cheek between your knuckles.

“Too bad, it’s my birthday, everything I say is the law.” Still hovering over you, he presses gentle kisses all over your face, delighting in the way you pretend to hate it even though you can’t suppress the smile. When he stops, his face is sincere, the playfulness gone. “Y/N.”

“What?”

“Thank you so much, honestly, from the bottom of my heart. This was… the best birthday I’ve ever had. Not just the sex, but the whole time with you, the dinner, the party, everything.” Your heartbeat quickens, unable to hold his gaze so you focus on the curve of his collarbone instead. “Even better than the pirate-themed birthday party my parents threw me when I turned eight.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Honoured. It was my pleasure.”

“Seriously, I lov-”

Taehyung catches himself before he could finish that sentence. Those unspoken words hang over your heads like a puppet.

Because for some reason, although you’ve said ‘I love you’ to each other a plethora of times in the past, this time feels like a different connotation is implicated. The line between platonic love and romantic love feels blurred. And neither of you know which love is meant.

Taehyung is a sentimental guy, you tell yourself. Of course he means he loves you as his best friend. And that’s surely what you mean too when your eyes are pleading him to keep kissing you.

There’s a moment of silence, for you both to gather your scattered thoughts, staring at each other, unsure what to say.

You clear your throat, dispelling the tension in the air.

��Lets go clean up.”

“Yeah.” Taehyung rolls off you, avoiding your eye as much as you are avoiding his.

The clean up is wordless, both pretending to be too preoccupied to spare the unspoken words any thought.

Except they’re all that’s playing at your mind.

Taehyung didn’t mean it like that. Taehyung doesn’t love you like that. You’re just overthinking. And he’s overthinking about you overthinking. You two are fine, you’re normal.

Examining the purple clouds he had imprinted on you, a stream down your neck, a cluster around your breasts, then the large ones between your thighs, you’re surprised to find not one drip of annoyance. A scary thought dawns on you. What if you like them? What if you like being marked by Taehyung?

What the fuck is happening?

You wait for him to crack a joke to ease up the awkwardness, glancing up at him in the mirror as you dry your hands on the towel by the sink. He doesn’t. Instead, he’s perched on the edge of the bath tube. Zoned out.

Have you finally taken it too far? Finally overstepped that hazy nebulous line that you perhaps should have set more clear?

“Hey, Taehyung.” His head snaps up at you, eyes large with uncertainty. “You okay?”

You want to reach out to touch him, brush his cheek, kiss his forehead. But you hold back. Not wanting to fuel the fire of confusion. But then he tugs you towards him by the hem of your skirt, corner of his lips turning up, imbuing you with a gust of relief.

“Just thinking.” His fingers crawl up your legs, holding onto your hips like his hands belong to nowhere else. “Come here.”

Chest pounding, you walk towards him, let him sit you down on his lap. Though you wish not to look at him with his face so close to yours, your eyes cannot pull away from his striking beauty. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but Taehyung’s feel more like the front door to your home. When you look into them, no matter how you’re feeling, whether you’d been fighting or kissing, you just feel embraced in a cloud of clarity, security.

You don’t want to think about the complication between you two at the moment. You just want to be looking at him, touching him, holding him.

You watch him glance at your lips, hesitancy playing at his mind. You know he’s thinking the same.

“We’re okay, right?” Throat tight, you ask, rather pointlessly.

“Of course. We’re great, same old us.” His arm around your waist feels warm and safe, and when your mirror his growing smile, you almost believe him.

But when your lips gently press against his, you know it’s a lie.

You’re not the same old you.

Taehyung feels different. Skin smoother, tastes sweeter, mouth softer. The roughness of his usual kisses is gone, replaced by an inexplicable tenderness that makes you feel things in your gut. You swat those feelings away.

Something is changing. And as much as you don’t want to acknowledge it, you don’t think you can ignore its booming presence.

You don’t dare make a sound as he carries you back to his room. You don’t protest when he throws one of his t-shirts over your head. Nor when he holds you into his chest, lips tracing your forehead with a soft sleepy smile.

Noting that you’re being uncharacteristically quiet, he pokes the nub of your nose. “Who stole your tongue?”

Act normal. Just be your loud annoying self.

“Uh… You.” You murmur, unable to meet his eye even with strenuous effort

Well, fuck.

“Okay, let me give it back to you.” Before you can protest, he is kissing you again. And you want to push him away because you feel your heart lurching to your throat, and you don’t think it is healthy. But your feeble hand that was meant to shove him off lands weakly on his pec, and somehow with a mind of its own, snakes up to his neck and pulls him in. His tongue unfurls onto yours, gently sweeping away any logic.

When his lips finally leave yours, you’re out of breath.

You don’t know what’s happened to you. Since when did you react like this to Taehyung?

Forcing your usual smirk, you try to wear a convincing facade that you feel nothing out of the ordinary. “I’m expecting great things for my birthday, though to be honest this is going to be hard to beat.” The underlying dishonesty tastes sour. You’ve never had to put on a front with Taehyung, and doing so now feels… alien.

“I’ll start planning it tomorrow, don’t you worry, your highness.” Taehyung pretends to roll his eyes at your demand, though the circles he’s rubbing down your back is telling of his genuinity. He isn’t an classically romantic guy, not one for flowers and chocolate, but more a sentimental gift that leaves a deep meaning. You know you’ll love whatever he plans. It worries you that you’ll perhaps love it too much. “But seriously, thank you for everything. The easel? How much did that cost you? I’ve looked at that brand before and there’s no way it was cheap.”

“It doesn’t matter how much it costed.” Warmth is creeping up on your cheeks again. You try to excuse it as Taehyung’s radiant body heat. “Let’s just say I had to resort to prostitution to pay for it, okay?”

Bodies shuddering in laughter, some tension in the air is thankfully alleviated by your humour, filling you with hope that things should and will return to normal in no time. You just need to stop overthinking.

“Hey, can you sleep here tonight?”

You freeze at his request. Because despite your constant fucking around with each other, one clear boundary has been that you don’t physically sleep with each other after sex. If you do sleep over, it is always just a completely platonic gesture. No kissing or fondling. Something about falling asleep in each other’s naked bodies is too mushy and couple-like. The type of thing that make you puke.

“Why?” You frown defiantly at him. “It’s not even your birthday anymore, it’s past midnight. So technically, I don’t have to treat you like royalty anymore.”

“Why not?” Taehyung rebuts, that cocky expression making you want to nipple-cripple him. This difficult son of a bitch, does he not know that the line is going hazy between you two?

“It’s weird, we just had sex.”

“So? What do you have against sleeping together after sex? Scared that you’ll fall in love with me?”

Your chest sinks to your stomach. You swear to god, Kim Taehyung is going to be the fucking death of you, stupid shit. How could he even say something like that so casually?

“In your fucking dreams, prick. If anything, you’d be the one to fall in love with me first, I just made you cum three times.” Taehyung chuckles at the flash of fury in your eyes, amused by how easy it is to strike a nerve in you.

“Do you want me to fall in love with you?” Though his tone is playful, and the wiggle of his brows suggests his mockery, you don’t know if he is completely joking anymore. And suddenly, everywhere that you’re touching - your entangled legs, his hands on the small of your back, your chests pressed on each other - everywhere starts to burn.

“Shut up, I’ll fucking sleep here, okay?”

And so this night, for the first time in the seven months you’ve been on-and-off fornicating alongside your unwavering friendship, you rest in Taehyung’s bed, your frame tucked snugly in his, his arm reposed on your waist. And despite your fatigue, it takes too long for sleep to find you as you watch his shoulders rise and fall in the dark, lips slightly parted, beckoning you to kiss them.

26/12/19

@taexxxiiaa @shookpreme @taetaeobsessed @tangledsparkles @nonexistentfucks @evilkookie @nbiased95 @taehyungmakesmeoof @itscalledgayhoney @tahaing @deliciouslydisturbed365 @expensive-bangtan-girl @jwlmnbt @herakimkim @dnyad @kaepjjang365 @expensive-bangtan-girl@gingerpeachtae @spring2787 @askingtheimportantthingshere @casualminiaturetimemachine @xblackclover13x @vasysauce @deadinsidebitch2412 @emiyooa @i-dont-even-know-fck @chimycthulhu @gixanjos @hisunshiine @xtaeyi @softjellyjimin @bluemooncnblue @malfeitofeitto @bangtanfancamp @keopitae @out-of-jams

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closer-stars · 4 years

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Gut Feeling (5)

Member: San Genre: Angst, just Stress Word Count: 9k Content: Food. Realizations. Frustrations. Just a lot bro Note: idk i like slow burn and just this type of idea leaves a lot of space to make shit feel frustrating and powerless if that makes sense. i’ll update the links after 24 hours. this has been proof-read but will continue to do so later on wahu. happy new year yall Tag list: @barsformars @hwaberrykiwi @yeotlny @miniyeo @shinyddeonghwa @seoultraveller

Part 4

“Choi San!”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Then stop acting like a child!”

“Stop treating me like one then!”

The rest of the boys didn’t expect the outburst (except for roughly two of them), pairs of eyes darted from you and to the male. They’ve never seen you snap like this, not even when they were being pains in the ass for you, not even when Yeosang’s sharp tongue got the better of him, hell even if other staff members were being an asshole to you. They’ve seen San snap but not to the level where he answers back to those who they speak with respect. Both of you stand there, unmoving, jaws clenched and stiff, waiting for the other to make a move. Your eyes are hard to read, rocky maybe, as if you had immediately put up a wall before anyone could make sense of your emotions. The only thing that can be seen was your exhaustion.

The boys wondered how much of your own struggles did you keep from them about this.

San on the other hand, had eyes that light up with flames. He’s been sure of his feelings ever since he could remember. Admittedly, he fell for you somewhere along the way, he couldn’t pinpoint where but he did. He knows you’ve been harboring feelings for him too and for you to deny it had brought him so much frustration. It was a relief their current promotions are much more powerful otherwise, he would’ve lashed out from anger. The way you talked to him previously had been brewing in his mind.

You’re the first one to make a move: you break eye contact and heave a sigh. “I’m going to get air. Hongjoong, you know what to do.” Your voice hangs clear in the heavy air, Hongjoong’s firm acknowledgement lets you leave smoothly. With a flick of your wrist, you toss the remote of the sound system to him on your way out. The only thing that could be heard from the room were your footsteps and the door closing behind you.

[You to Manager Yoon] Manager Yoon! Where are you?

[Manager Yoon to You ] Still in the office, why?

You pause for a moment, trying to think of an excuse. Just for once, you want to be selfish.

[You to Manager Yoon] Can you be the one to bring the boys home? I have a migraine. Not a good idea to be behind the wheel.

[Manager Yoon] Who’s going to bring you home?

[You] I’ll get a taxi. Please? The boys will be finished within an hour.

[Manager Yoon] Alright! Stay safe and take care of yourself.

[You] Yes, thank you.

It doesn’t take longer than five minutes for a taxi to arrive outside the building. You slip inside and the driver’s back on the road to bring you back to your apartment. You don’t realize how long you’ve been holding your breath until you settle into your seat.

“Long day?” The driver says, his aged voice bringing you out of your thoughts for a moment. Surprisingly, you still had enough energy to keep it light.

“Yes, can’t wait to get some rest.” You return, there’s an evident strain in your voice and it makes him chuckle.

“Life really is tough in your twenties to thirties isn’t it? Everything’s confusing, constant distractions, constant questions.” He sounded like a grandfather that needs some company so you entertain his thoughts.

“Yes, a lot of things are happening and so many people expect us to know everything at this age.” You rest your head against the window, watching as people rush about to release the week’s stress.

“It’s good you’re taking the time to rest tonight. Drinking and clubbing can only do so much, kiddo.” The driver chortles, and it seems he’s reminiscing his younger days. This causes you to chuckle softly, letting him talk as much as his heart wants. It was a good distraction from how your life has been in disarray.

Considering it was a friday night, the traffic was enough to be noticed. You don’t have the heart to put on your headphones to drown out everything for the sake of the old man. As you head home, the conversation spins towards your work.

“A manager for an idol group? That isn’t easy, no? My granddaughter’s been a big fan of that one group, they did that black cat song recently.. Uh what was their name..” He grumbles, frustrated at his poor memory.

“ATEEZ?” You pipe in carefully, heart warming slightly at how well your boys have done.

“Is that their name? I think so, it is familiar. They seem like good boys too. She really likes that San guy too.”

“They are.” You agree, your chest feeling a mix of ease and discomfort. Nevertheless, the general public was falling for the boys and you couldn’t help but feel pride in that. You try to disregard the comment about San, finding it to be life being an asshole to you. The taxi rolls up to the entrance of your apartment complex and you thank the man for his help. “Please have this too, you’ve worked a lot too.” You say as you hand him your payment. He’s surprised with the small bag of snacks you’ve been carrying this entire time that you handed to him with your payment. You bid him goodbye, carefully walking into the safety of your apartment complex.

-------

Your body feels lighter after the shower and you look through your laptop for the files that have been nagging your mind. Mumbles of the files you’re looking for spill through your mouth as you glare at your laptop screen. The only thing that could be heard in your room is the sound of your fingers over the keyboard, ever since becoming a manager for such a loud group, you’ve come to appreciate the silence.

“There we go.”

Once the files are open, you look through your application, looking for a certain portion as your interview plays in the back of your head. From there, you type your letter to the superiors. It takes a few tries until you’re satisfied with it. For now, you’ll sleep on it, thinking if you should push through with this change or hold on until Manager Hwang comes back. At least, the letter has helped you clear your head on things that weren’t related to San.

As you lean against your seat, you let soft music play as you try to figure out your feelings. Your stomach grumbles. After everything that happened, you forgot that you have yet to have your dinner. The boys have but you forgot to eat earlier. Not wanting to change clothes again, you opt for delivery.

Was the universe laughing at you for your clashing feelings and thoughts? Your playlist plays songs that were unfortunately fitting for your situation.

You’re still on the fence over your feelings for him. You have come to appreciate his presence in your life, in and outside of work but you were against putting romance where your work lies, that’s one of your rules. Especially when it comes to harboring feelings for the idol, that was a line you didn’t want to cross. You know how fans can be, and while fan attitudes can differ from person to person, people who liked the same artist seem to eventually carry the same attitudes. You didn’t know much about their fans, especially in this situation where fans couldn’t watch them perform in person. Some of them seem to be sweethearts, some less than stellar people. If you were honest with yourself, You didn’t want to give in to San or to yourself merely because of how fans can be when they realize their idols are dating. Heck, their friend resigned to save their group’s face. You didn’t want San to go through that.

You were never a fan of the boyfriend or girlfriend image idols had to put on themselves.

A series of katalks and knocking brings you out of your thoughts once more and you decide to attend to the knocking first once you smell the food wafting in.

Hands full of the food you order for yourself for the night, you stop the music and decide to let your Netflix be your white noise as you eat and look through your messages.

[Hongjoong to Group Chat] Manager-nim! What’s our call time tomorrow?

[Seonghwa] Hongjoong and I talked to San once we got back to the dorms. Manager Yoon doesn't know about it?

[Yunho to Group Chat] I thought it was you who was going to bring us home… teary_eyed_frodo

[San] I’m sorry

You didn’t think he would send you a message so soon.

Cheeks stuffed with noodles, you reply thoroughly to each of them.

[You to Group chat] Wake up by 5AM, i’ll pick you up 6AM. 7AM for hair and make up, breakfast in the salon, 10AM to 6PM schedule. 7PM onwards studio/training or whatever you guys want to do.

[You to Seonghwa] Oh okay, let’s talk about that tomorrow? Yes, Manager Yoon doesn’t know anything about it.

[You to Group chat] Ah sorry, I ended up with a migraine ^^;;

[You to Group chat] Aw, haha! I’ll do my best!

You continue to eat, until your stomach is stuffed and you need to take a breather. It’s been awhile since you let yourself eat your comfort food without a care.

The unread notification nags at you as you eat, even if you try to eat in peace. The thoughts start to run a mile a minute again and it makes your chest tighten up again. You push yourself up again and look through your refrigerator for some drink. Anything to ease your anxious thoughts from making it hard for you to breathe again. Not replying to him even on chat seemed a little cold even for you.

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

Why were Kakaotalk notifications so aggressive on vibrate? Another mouthful of noodles and spicy dumplings.

[Mingi to Group chat] Are you okay now?

[Jongho to Group chat] Sleep early, Manager-nim.. We have a long day tomorrow.

[Yeosang to Group chat] Make sure to eat too!!

You felt bad for telling them a white lie but you needed to get out of that building. You send them a heart to acknowledge their messages for their peace. Once you’ve finished your meal, you freshen yourself up for bed, making sure your alarm was on for the following day.

--------

On the other side of the line, the boys are in their dorms now. All of them in their sleep wear but in the living room to talk about things that need to be discussed. “San, you need to explain everything.” Seonghwa speaks up softly. Hongjoong sits on the corner of the couch, he’s not looking at anyone as he tries to make sense and do damage control as much as possible.

The younger member looks at everyone, then at Hongjoong and Seonghwa, fearing that they’d be angry for various reasons. In hindsight, he should’ve just talked about it with either of them but his pride got in the way. The weight of keeping everything in slides off his back with a dejected sigh. He tells them everything, starting from when he found your antics adorable, to you going out of your way to take care of them even beyond your line of work. The boys really can’t blame him, they did sacrifice a part of their lives for their dreams. It’s natural to have a want to experience something as normal as falling in love, even if it’s a little misguided. He includes the part where he assumes that you and Seonghwa were a thing. This results in six heads turning from San to Seonghwa in less than a heartbeat.

“Time out, time out.” Seonghwa says, after regaining his composure from such a curveball. “This entire time, you thought we were a thing?” He asks, eyes wide with confusion. The older won’t admit that he’s amused by the misconception but he is alarmed that it has reached such heights.

The question has San straightening his back in confusion. “Yeah, the two of you are always together, more than anyone else. Also they’re more talkative with you… they just look more comfortable with you than me..” He tries to explain but the more he goes on the more he realizes how stupid he sounds.

Stunned silence falls over the eight of them, Hongjoong still thinking on how to approach this. Wooyoung sits back against the backrest of the couch, his head resting against the palm of his hand. “So this is the extent of how jealousy affects him.” Cue, two hands flicking his shoulders. “Ow!” The attention shifts back to Hongjoong when he repositions himself in his seat.

“Seonghwa, you didn’t know about that part? Not even when you talked to them?”

The older shakes his head, “We didn’t get the chance to talk too much.. Things kept getting in the way.” He purses his lips in mild annoyance at how things played out for everyone. “But,” he continues, and the way his voice carries in the room has everyone looking at him. “I’ll find a way to talk to them again.”

It’s not really a surprise that San thought Seonghwa was the favored one but here they are, in a middle of chaos because of his assumptions.

“San, you have to talk to them as soon as possible and fix all of these. We can’t do everything for this.” Hongjoong says, his tone gentle. Being angry at this point won’t solve anything and god forbid two of his own members start fighting, and it had to be the two with the scariest tempers. The younger winces at the idea that his ego got the better of him and how he still has the audacity to worry about how you’d think of him once he comes clean with everything.

“I will, hyung.” With that, the meeting has ended and everyone’s retreating into their rooms. San catches Yunho’s worried look and he tries to shoot a reassuring smile at the male. “I’ll manage, Yunho. I haven’t failed yet.”

He hopes those won’t be his famous last words.

--------

Your phone wakes you up. Time for work. It takes a few tries (with some disgruntled whines) to finally start the day. “Fuck.. One more round for this promotion period.” You manage to grab yourself an oat drink on the way out, just to stave off the hunger until you arrive at the salon with all eight boys.

You arrive outside their dorm, knocking on the door. In a few seconds, Seonghwa’s the first one you see, already ready while the others are finishing up. “Morning!” You didn’t think he was a morning person, but here he is in a chipper mood than you.

“Morning, Seonghwa. Is everyone ready?” You peek behind him for a moment then back to the male in front of you.

“Give them five minutes.” Seonghwa suggests and lets you into their dorm, instead of letting you wait outside.

Finding discomfort in having to be in their personal space, you close the door quietly and wait outside. “Just don’t stall too much.” You say under your breath. Do you put too much trust in the boys? Seeds of uncertainty have been growing in your stomach as the promotions continue amidst the chaos behind the scenes. You need quiet time soon. Your eyes flit to the time in your phone, rough estimates run through your head as you debate on waiting here or heading to the car to start it up.

Before you could even come up with a decision, the door opens with eight boys already ready to start the day. Your eyes automatically go to Seonghwa and Hongjoong for reassurance. The show must go on after all.

--------

You can tell they’ve gotten used to performing even without a physical audience. They’ve grown rapidly as performers with each stage. You’ve eventually built up a wall between you and the members, not too fast that the others notice it but just enough for people to reason your absence with logic until they get used to it. The more you stray from them, the more you linger with the other staff members who went with you and the group. While your heart is confused with San, you find yourself in ease with people who also enjoy being behind the scenes. They share stories of their experience in the industry, crazy stories to horror stories. All of which gave you tips and lessons. You tell them yours as well, not everything, but just those that can be shared and in the exchange, you find yourself able to laugh freely again.

The boys let you be. They understand what had just happened between you and San is still fresh. It doesn’t stop San stealing glances at you, guilty and frustrated at what has happened.

“Let them be, San.” Yunho says softly in between spoonfuls of his meal. San’s eyes tear away from you and it makes Yunho sympathize with him. He can see how San still feels guilty about it but still so prideful, still so stubborn. “They’ll come around eventually. At least they’re still doing their job right?” He adds, in hopes of pointing out something good despite the chaos.

“I guess so..” The other returns, eventually focusing on his meal as they get ready to perform.

It doesn’t take long until they’re called on stage and the room mellows down to quiet chatter among staff members. Manager Bae approaches you as you busy yourself with your own phone and laptop. “Are you okay?” he asks you as he drops next to you. He leans against the table as his eyes are kept on the tv screen.

Your fingers fly over the keyboard as you pen another email to send to the externals team. Eyes snap to the man next to you as before turning your attention back to your laptop. “Why the question? I’m alright as far as I know.”

He shakes his head for a moment, before taking a sip of the instant coffee. “No reason, just checking up on you after the intense schedules lately. They can take a toll on anyone.”

You would know. At his words, you shake your head to reassure him. “I knew what I was getting into when I sent my work application here.” Not entirely a lie. You were ready for hectic schedules especially for a rising idol group. What you weren’t ready for was feelings from a rising idol but that was besides the point. You scan through your email once more, making sure all the important details are in it before pressing send. “I promise, I’m able to get with the pace. If I can’t, at least let me stay until the end of a promotional cycle.” You add with a light chuckle.

The older looks at you with slight concern that you don’t catch, too busy rearranging your schedule. “If there’s any trouble besides health, don’t hesitate to tell any of us alright?” He says. You hum in agreement, doing your best to reassure him. It doesn’t take long until the boys are up on screen, pouring their heart out as if they’ve been doing this for so long. You could hear some sounds of admiration a few rooms down and you could only assume that it’s the rookies watching the same stage. There’s really just something about San performing, especially a song like Thanxx. Would it be right to compare San to a chameleon? Any color he seems to just get into it but it didn’t seem to be right. There’s something about the song that makes you think ‘This is the group that has captured the public’ and San’s practically shining on this stage. You force yourself out of it, focusing on everyone as well and you find yourself grinning at Yeosang’s cheekiness.

You rest your chin on the palm of your hand, a lazy grin still on your features. “Who knew Yeosang would bring out this cheekiness?” You ask softly and it makes Manager Bae laugh.

“He’s always been that type of guy but having it on stage really is a bit of shocker.”

You lean against your seat, somehow impressed with how much Yeosang has grown as a performer. “Oh, have you received news so far on Manager Hwang?”

He looks at you with a raised brow in jest. “Itching to get away from the chaos the boys bring?” The question causes you to defend yourself immediately, floundering over words and while waving your hands to push away such thought. While in a different context completely, the words hit a little too close to home. Manager Bae laughs at your reaction, “Relax, to answer your question, Hwang’s doing better now. He’ll be back by the end of the year.”

A few more months, but a few more weeks of this hectic schedule. You can last, at least you hope so.

The boys finish their stage without a hitch and they return to the dressing room still high on the stage adrenaline. You let them settle down first as they catch their breath for their next schedule. Somehow Seonghwa manages to pull you aside.

“We need to continue our talk soon..” He mumbles away from everyone’s earshot. You bite your bottom lip and concede to his wishes.

“Fine, after this week of schedules.”

---------

The talk doesn’t happen much to your relief and their frustration. Their schedules were swamped still with offers and preparations for upcoming shows. Little by little though, you slowly excuse yourself from their free time. Only appearing for when you need to bring them home or to their schedules.

But even if the talk doesn’t happen, you’re still stressed with no sign of a break. Every moment you have to yourself throughout the day is spent trying to catch your breath and calm your racing heart and mind. You look at the time, their last schedule was about to end and so will everyone’s shift. It’s your turn to bring all the boys home, and with that your schedule essentially ends by now. The boys are in the studio, practicing for a different stage this time, reviewing old pieces that can be reinvented for the new performance. Almost half the boys are on their backs, exhausted from the long day they have. You sigh, knowing how it feels to be so tired and so hungry after hectic schedules. “Alright, what do you guys want for dinner?” You ask them and they look up at you through the bullets of sweat that has been running down their skin. It’s when the question catches no answer from the boys that give you an idea of just how exhausted they are. “Guys? What do you want for dinner? It’s on me.”

“Fried chicken please?”

“Can we get meat?”

“Cola too..”

Even without looking at each of their faces, you can already see the pout on some of their faces. A soft chuckle slips from your lips, taking notes of their wants. “Think you guys can hold on for a few minutes?”

“Knowing them, anything for food.” Seonghwa says as he gets back up on his feet, slipping on a jacket. “I’ll go with you.” You look at him with a raised eyebrow, knowing that this can go a certain direction. You don’t say anything but nod at his words, you spin on your heels and leave the studio. You didn’t want to look at San’s direction, you just can’t get yourself to look at his general direction even if he was just a few feet in front of you.

Once out of the building, you find yourself breathing out a sigh of relief which Seonghwa notices. “Long day?” He asks softly, as he walks with you towards the nearest restaurants. All you really do is just hum in agreement. You weren’t in any mood to talk about how your days have been since that argument, your supposed meet with Jiwoo kept getting pushed back, so you’ve been stuck on your own for who knows how long. He senses how tired you are, figuring it would be better to keep the talk to a later time. The two of you end up walking quietly down the road, looking for the favorite restaurant of the boys. He has to tug at your sleeve to get you back to reality once the both of you arrive outside the restaurant. “We’re here.. Did you want coffee?” He asks as he opens the door for the two of you.

There were a few tables that were occupied but not to the point where your health could be on the line. “Can we ask for take out?” You ask the staff, they know your face by now for the same orders over the past few months. The answer is an obvious yes but it never hurts to ask especially with everything happening.

“The usual?”

“Yes, plus a few add-ons..” You list down the drinks and other side dishes the boys would definitely want post training. Seeing you converse with the staff, Seonghwa somehow understands why San fell for you but he also somehow understands why you’re so apprehensive. It’s just a matter of time to make the two of you see each other’s reasons and find a middle ground. Now that all the orders have been listed, they let you take a seat on one of the available tables. The two of you finally let your feet rest as you try to find ways to kill time. It was tricky to talk about the elephant in the room with the restaurant still being occupied by people besides the two of you.

“Manager-nim..” Seonghwa calls softly, watching you practically deflate in your seat. “You really need to rest.”

“After your promotions, I will.” You say as you stretch your back in your seat. The male eyes you with worry but you’re very much like them, stubborn and wanting others to not worry about them.

The two of you busy yourselves with other conversations to kill the time, monitoring how the public have been finding their performances, and other offers that were around the corner for them.

What the two of you didn’t know was that someone had recognized Seonghwa and has proceeded to sneak a photo of him with you. The stranger has managed to post it on social media, causing a stir online on who could be with him and if he was dating. It doesn’t take too long for the tweet to spread around social media, and fortunately for the two of you, the food comes in quickly. “Come again soon and stay safe and healthy!” says the staff as the two of you bow your thanks and hurry off to return to seven hungry boys.

In the studio, some of the guys catch on their sleep with a nap while they wait for your return. The others busy themselves on their phones, looking at what their fans have been talking about and what wishes to fulfill on stage. Yunho notices that Seonghwa’s name is on the trending topics and decides to snoop around, wondering what did he do this time that has the fans wrapped around him. His eyes slip towards San, who was deep asleep on the floor, his cap covering his face. He looks over at Hongjoong who was busy doing the same, probably looking at the letters fans have sent to them. “Hyung..” He whispers softly, as he slowly slides over to the older male.

The older looks at his screen and already knew what was up from just a quick glance.

[Hongjoong to Seonghwa] Where are you

[Hongjoong to Seonghwa] hey people think you’re dating someone.

Hongjoong scrolls through the posts and he sighs in relief as it seems that they don’t know it’s you. Your features could barely be seen from the angle it was shot.

[Hongjoong to Seonghwa] they think you’re dating manager-nim seriously, hurry quick because people are gonna fuss over it the longer you’re out.

“It’ll be fine, Yunho. As long as the others don’t see it.. And we have mature fans, they’ll be able to take care of this.” It’s also a reassurance for him too. They never really had a dating scandal and he kind of wishes it would stay like that as long as possible. “If anything bad happens, just tell me okay? We’ll be able to take care of it.”

--------

Seonghwa’s phone vibrates almost nonstop and you take a plastic bag with the food from him to let him check his phone. “The boys?” you ask as the two of you walk back to the agency. It’s his groan that makes you look at him from the corner of your eye. “What happened?” You press.

“Someone took a photo of us in the restaurant, thinking I’m dating you.” He explains with another hiss of annoyance. “Your face isn’t seen but it’s making rounds.”

[Seonghwa to Hongjoong] On our way back

[Seonghwa to Hongjoong] Five minutes.

He takes the bag back from you and starts to walk a little quicker. “Let’s hurry back.” He says.

If it weren’t for how he was walkiing so fast, you would’ve stood there stunned by such assumptions from strangers. You do your best to match his pace, all while making sure nothing spills from the containers. You just hoped the rest of the group and the company sees none of this otherwise, you are quite literally screwed.

--------

Everyone was slowly waking up in the studio, and thanks to Wooyoung’s sharp nose, he could already smell the food. They know better than to doubt his sense of smell. “They’re here! They’re here!” Wooyoung exclaims. San being the hardest to wake up, it takes a while for him to regain his surroundings. He rolls across the floor, not wanting to get up. “Hey San! They brought meat!” Wooyoung exclaims and that was enough to get him to sit up first, trying to shake away the grogginess. The latter eventually stands up and drags himself to the kitchen where everyone was at this point. He pats his jacket down, just to make sure if his phone was in there as he walks down the hallway. The bustling in the kitchen was hushed from the weariness but still lively from guys who are aching to get something in their stomach.

San is greeted by the sight of his members bustling around the food, excited to eat something filling. He’s also greeted by the sight of you sitting a little further away from where Seonghwa is, instead opting to sit near Jongho and Yunho. Hell, you’re far from where he sits too. He wonders if something had happened on the way here for you to be this quiet.

You had let the boys busy themselves with their own meals as you eat yours quietly. Your fingers scroll through social media as you search for tweets regarding the dating rumor. Despite Seonghwa having reassured you that your face couldn’t be seen, you wanted to see it for yourself. There were already heated discussions about the group and who the mystery person is. Some fans found an account that they assume is you. A part of you had to give it to them for thinking that random user is you, but it’s not. The other part is terrified of how skilled they can be in searching for people on the internet that matches their assumptions. Some fans had managed to control the flames before it reached the rest of the fans. The mere idea that they could’ve found your social media makes your blood run cold still. You really can’t do this.

The meal time ends soon and the boys are ready to head home. “Can you guys take out the trash? I’ll get the car ready.” You say.

“Sure thing, Manager-nim. ‘Kay Wooyoung, get in the bag.” Yeosang jokes, gesturing for his friend to get into the used bag and it was enough to get the room sputtering from the sudden comment.

“Yeosang!” You sputter out through laughter. It’s how Wooyoung looks at his best friend that has you doubling over. It’s been a while since you managed to let out laughter that was so genuine and it does lift your spirits even for a short while. “I can’t believe you guys, I’ll wait for you all by the car okay?”

Now that you had left first, Seonghwa lets out a breath he’s been holding the entire time. “San, we need to talk first.” This makes everyone turn to the two of them. San raises an eyebrow out of alarm and concern.

“Did something happen?”

Now, Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Yunho look at each other in confusion. They honestly had expected that San would know by now as he was often on his phone during their down time. He was also usually the first to know the trends. How else did he get everyone to hit the whoa constantly?

It had to come from Seonghwa. “For transparency’s sake, some stranger took a photo of Manager-nim and I thinking we were on a date, right while we were waiting for our food. They didn’t catch Manager-nim’s face but it’s kind of everywhere online. Just needed to let you know to avoid misunderstandings.”

The first few words made his stomach drop but thankfully it didn’t go any lower. San honestly didn’t know what else to say, was he jealous that people thought you and Seonghwa were a thing? Somewhat. Was he worried for the group and for you about this news? Pretty much. He does have faith in their fans to know better than to believe something so baseless. Despite that, a lot of emotions were running through him. For now, he had to push them away. “I, uh, I see… uh, Thanks for letting me know, hyung. Let’s go? Manager-nim’s going to wonder why we’re taking too long.”

“We can just say we tried to fit Wooyoung in the bag, hehet.”

“Agh! Kang Yeosang!”

--------

It takes a few minutes for them to head down, and by then you were already in the driver’s seat, waiting for them. “Maybe I shouldn’t have waited for them.” You mumble. By the time you finish the thought, the car doors swing open and the boys slowly trickle into the car.

“Sorry we took so long.” Jongho’s voice startles you, nearly making you drop your phone. “Yeosang-hyung was actually trying to get Wooyoung-hyung into the bag.”

His words make you twist in your seat to look at Yeosang. “How did that go?” Your question makes Wooyoung whine at how you were also teasing him. For a few moments, things were back to normal, which for the most part was good as it helped you destress. The ride back home went by smoothly, the boys busy with themselves while Jongho kept you company in the passenger’s seat.

Once all of you arrived back in the apartment, they hop off and now that you were on your own again, you let out a sigh. The back of your head resting against the headrest of the driver’s seat. A few more rounds then this promotional cycle is done. You rub your stiff shoulders, maybe you should invest in a newer bag soon. After the quiet moments on your own in the car, you suppose that you should get out and head to your place.

Just as you’re walking towards the elevator, you’re greeted by the boys still lingering. “I thought you guys went up already.” You mumble.

“San said to wait for you so we did.” Yunho chimes in and you look at them with a raised eyebrow. It takes a lot from you to actually spare that man a glance. It’s mind reeling when you actually share a glance.

“I see..”

“Though if it’s payback for making you wait earlier then that’s also understandable.” He adds quickly, which once again causes a small smile to form on your features. You don’t really see how the others look relieved to see you smiling a little more even just for today. The joke makes you shake your head, endeared by their actions.

“Come on, it’s late.” You usher the boys in once the doors slide open. Now, while in bigger spaces, you had control of where you can be and who to be with. In something as small as an elevator, you didn’t have much choice. You were stuffed next to San by the corner. Somehow it was already agreed that you’d be the first one to be dropped off, something about you deserving to get more sleep than them. You’d like to disagree but when the battle is eight against one, it was better to let it be. You haven’t been in contact with San unless it’s a group related matter so to have him The doors open and you immediately get yourself out of the lift, you bid them a good night and you immediately walk off, not wanting to look him in the eye, even when you felt his gaze on you.

San was about to follow you but the doors closed in on them and already started moving towards their floor. Yunho notices him deflate in his spot, pulling his hat down over his features. He doesn’t say anything about this for now, instead waiting for them to arrive at their rooms just so they can talk about this. The taller male looks at the screen go through the other floors until they arrive at their floor. He decides to trail behind with San, making sure that the others don’t hear them. “Go and shower before me, I know you’re stuck in your head again.” The other says nothing but nod. Yunho says nothing when he catches sight of San quickly wiping at his face underneath the hat.

--------

San’s already in bed, waiting for his roommate to finish showering. He’s busy on his phone instead of being on the computer. You haven’t replied to his messages either. He sees the tweets, well some of it, as the original posts are now deleted or are now hidden behind private accounts. Regardless, he still can see the aftermath from questionable accounts and his fans. He’s slowly understanding why you’ve been unresponsive and evasive of him. It’s not excusable but it gives him a perspective on why you did the things you did.

Yunho finally enters the room, hair still dripping wet from his shower. “Took you awhile.” San says, trying to act fine, even when the two of them know better.

“You know how Seonghwa-hyung is when it comes to the shower.” Yunho returns lightheartedly, and from a few feet away, they can hear Seonghwa yell in defense. The two roommates glance at each other for a moment, surprised that the eldest heard their banter before chuckling to themselves. Yunho then shuts the door quietly, just so they can talk a little more freely without the pressure of the other members hearing in on them. “Wanna talk about what’s going on in your head?” He starts as he dries his hair with a towel.

The question makes San think for a moment. That’s the thing with him, when his thoughts are too muddled, making them into a coherent phrase is a challenge. “I really don’t know why I wanted to go after them.” He admits after moments of silence. If they stayed quiet long enough, they could hear Hongjoong and Yeosang playing video games in the living room. “I’ve avoided them long enough that they’re doing the same now.” He continues dejectedly.

Yunho mulls over his words and knowing how everyone is, spread too thin with their current schedules and for their upcoming schedules. It would be hard to think clearly in this current situation. “Tell you what,” he starts, tossing his towel over the chair. “Try to talk to them after our promotions, we won’t be promoting until somewhere in 2021.” He sits up on his bed, his pillow on his lap. “Manager-nim been so tired too, late nights from us and helping out the externals with putting our names out there. Didn’t they get us a photoshoot with a big magazine?”

San has noticed it too, your eyebags have been a lot more prominent even when you try to cover it up with the make up tips their makeup artists teach you. The attentive light in your eyes have dimmed slightly and he has seen you staring into space or napping when there’s time for you. To approach you know would strain you even more and he’s already done enough of that.

“You’ll figure it out, San. Don’t rush it.” Yunho reassures and somehow San wants to believe in himself the way Yunho does too.

--------

You’re still hung up on the posts on social media, scrolling through all the posts made by users as they try to figure out who Seonghwa was with. Someone posts a profile that looks a lot like yours and it makes your stomach drop. It’s yours. Somehow, they found your profile as one of the probable people that Seonghwa hung out with. On adrenaline, you try to read through the post and comments, most of which were to your defense. You were grateful for that but you didn’t feel comfortable knowing strangers on the internet know of your account and are possibly going through your posts.

[ You to Manager Chat ] can someone cover my shift tomorrow?

You realize your message might be taken for worse so you quickly follow it up.

[ You to Manager Chat ] It’s nothing serious. I just think my body’s going to get sick if i don’t take care of it now.

[ Manager Bae to Manager Chat ] I’ll cover. Take care of yourself especially in this time. You sure you only need one day?

The question makes you pause. You want more than a day but you’ll have to play it out.

[ You to Manager Chat ] I’ll feel it out and let you know asap. Thank you :(

[ You to Manager Chat ] I trust you enough to let you get the keys from my apartment.

You send the passcode to your place to the chat and tell them where you keep the keys whenever it’s you on the job. Once they acknowledge your messages you toss your phone elsewhere.

Your body deflates on the bed as you try to figure out how to manage your social media accounts without looking suspicious to the fans. Your eyes glance to the digital clock by your bedside.

2.35 AM

“Fuck..” You groan out, rolling onto your stomach as you try to will yourself to sleep. One step at a time, you’ll get through this. You hope you do.

--------

The boys are greeted by Manager Bae in their car.

“It’s not them today?” Seonghwa asks, mildly alarmed by the lack of a heads up in the change of plans.

“They’re not feeling well today,” he explains much to the worry of the boys. “they needed the rest.” He continues as he waits for the boys to settle into their seats before pulling out of the parking lot. Their manager senses the unease and he can’t help but symphathize. “Boys, they’ll be alright, the schedules just got to them and their body just needs to reset.”

Seonghwa glances at San who has an unreadable expression on his face. “They’ll be okay.” The eldest says as a reassurance for everyone. A small part of him worries if he has some degree of fault as well in this entire situation on your health too.

--------

You wake up with the sun already at its highest point. Your hand hops around the bed, looking for your phone until you feel the cool metal under your fingertips. Eyes squint through the burning brightness of the sun and your phone screen.

13.45

Nearly twelve hours of sleep isn’t so bad you thought.

[ San to Group chat ] Manager-nim are you okay?

The message was sent six hours ago. Oops.

In your still groggy state, you manage to send a reply, not really realizing who sent the message.

[ You to Group chat ] I’m okay. I just need rest.

It takes a while for you to get out of your bed. Body still too tired to move properly after months of constantly moving that a day where you get to sleep in and move without rushing is proving to be a shock.

One way or another, you’re able to make yourself something light to eat with your usual coffee. You manage to get yourself together to take care of yourself without any rush. It’s a nice change, you had to admit: no yelling and bantering, just faint music from your phone. Your music falters for a moment notifying you of a message.

[ Manager Bae to Manager chat ] don’t worry too much about coming in tomorrow. I talked with the team and they want you to take some rest for your safety and everyone else’s.

[ You to Manager chat ] I’m not fired right…

[ Manager Bae to Manager chat ] No no! Just get some rest, the company knows you’ve been working hard too.

You look at the messages and sigh softly.

[ Manager Bae to Manager chat ] also don’t worry about your planned day off, it’s still set after the promotions.

You’re starting to appreciate the company you work for after that. You try to quickly get ready for the day, fixing what you need to make sure to get yourself tested for the virus within the day.

Bzz Bzz!

It’s Jiwoo. You didn’t think she’d finally have some time after that chaotic news from one of her artists. “Hello?” Her voice booms from the other line and you opt to put her on speaker, wanting to save your ears.

“Hello! I miss you a lot, I know it was an ass move from me to disappear from you for weeks--”

You cut her off there. “Jiwoo, we’re in an industry that’s kind of cut throat, I kind of understand what you had to do to deal with things..” Your words make her pause for a moment and for a split second, you wonder if she was still okay.

“Touche, now I owe you my time because I remember you told me something has been bothering you.” She recovers with ease and you’re left to your own devices, putting your phone on the counter as you make yourself a cup of coffee. Her words cause you to falter in your movements, almost spilling some coffee grounds. No escape from this topic really huh. So you ended up telling them everything since the first day of work for the sake of context, up to when San confessed to you.

“I swear Jiwoo, if news about this breaks out, I will go to you and break your kneecaps.” Your coffee was finally done by the time you finished your story.

She’s unfazed by your threat, and instead decides to ask you a question. “And how are you with all of these?”

A quiet sip of the liquidated caffeine to gather your thoughts. “Stressed, worried, I genuinely don’t know what I feel about him.” It was the truth too. You barely had time to process your own feelings even if Seonghwa tried to talk to you. Everything lately has been full speed ahead, no space to pick up the emotions.

“Do you want my thoughts on this?”

“Please. You know me better than the boys… and me.”

“if you didn’t like them, why would you be so affected?”

It’s a good thing you haven’t taken a sip of your coffee otherwise you would’ve spilled it all over yourself. “Huh?”

Jiwoo clears her throat and you can already picture her sitting up on her bed. “Mind you, I’m just approaching this from an outsider, who also has an inkling of how you can be in this situation. Also from what I know through you and from other staff, San does have a tendency to show his best and genuine side doesn’t he?” The question has your head running back through all the days you spent with him alone. “Don’t get it twisted, okay? I genuinely think you harbor a bit of a liking for him--which is mind you, very understandable based on everything I hear about him. Eventually you know yourself better than I do and considering you won’t be going to work right? Today and tomorrow? Try to think about it.”

Your voice comes out a little weak. “Yeah..” The thought she suggested had you reeling. Did you really have feelings for him?

“I have to go now, I have a meeting in two hours. Talk to you soon?” She says, hoping to hear from you soon. Ideally when both your schedules aren’t as hectic as they are.

“O-oh yeah sure, let’s hang soon when all of our schedules are over.” With that, the call ends and you stare at your still unfinished cup of coffee.

You spend the rest of your day in your apartment, catching up on your own hobbies and self. Even if you try to busy yourself with your own interests, you mind wanders back to what Jiwoo said. Did you really have feelings for him? You were so sure of yourself that you could separate your own feelings from work but now you’re not as sure.

There’s a knock on your door that yanks you out of your thoughts. Who was at the door?

You push yourself off the floor, pausing your movie as you make your way to the door. The knocks continue, a little more persistent this time. You peek at the peephole and the people you see confuses you. You open the door, greeted by the sight of a startled duo. “Hongjoong, Seonghwa, what are you doing here?”

“Can we come in? We brought food for you.”

“You’re lucky I’m not sick.” You mumble, letting them in.

This is the first time they see your apartment. Maybe it’s because you live alone that they feel like they can breathe easier compared to the full house a few floors above. You know that their eyes are looking around your place, there’s not a lot of items around, you had to admit. You just liked to keep things simple, easier to pack and unpack when you have to move.

“Oh, you have our albums on display!” Hongjoong exclaims, thoroughly flattered.

“Of course.” You say, you’re their manager, should you not have their works on display? You were proud of how well they’ve been received by the public too. A nervous hand goes up to rub the back of your neck. “Uh, can I know why you guys are here?” You don’t remember telling them either what number your apartment was.

Seonghwa sets the food they bought for you on the table. “We wanted to fill you in on some things.”

“Coffee, water, tea?”

This was going to be a long night.

--------

Seonghwa takes another sip of his tea and Hongjoong hasn’t touched his coffee yet. You on the other hand, haven’t touched your water. “So you’re telling me,” you start, trying to wrap your head around this piece of information. “Choi San, thinks that I liked Seonghwa.”

“Thought, but yeah..” Seonghwa corrects gently and his gaze carries sympathy at how you just looked so tired with this chaos. Your face is hidden behind your hands before you lean back against your seat. The entire night ended up with the two of them having dinner with you while filling you in on details you missed.

There’s silence now as you try to absorb the information. It’s only then that Hongjoong drinks his now cold coffee. He glances at the male beside you, concern in his eyes. Truthfully, even he didn’t know how to console you. Everything has been full speed ahead for everyone, while he and the boys are accustomed to it, you needed time to recuperate. “Do you want to say everything in your mind?”

“Hongjoong, my mind’s a mess.”

“That’s perfectly fine. You gotta let it out right?”

So that’s when you filled them in on your conversation with your best friend earlier today. “Her thought is that I have feelings for San too but I don’t know if I do.” Hongjoong peers at you curiously and it’s Seonghwa’s turn to shoot him a look.

“Because..?”

“Because, I don’t really spend time with you guys outside work responsibilities?” That was a valid point you had there. Hongjoong hums at your reply, letting you continue. “Don’t get me wrong, all of you are great to be with but the idea of someone… liking me merely because of what I signed up to do is a little weird.” You admit, looking down at your glass of water. “Mind you, the only time I’ve hanged out with you guys outside of work is now and it’s not even everyone.”

While to them they aren’t surprised that San had caught feelings for you, your logical approach to this somewhat surprised them. San could definitely learn a thing or two from you.

“Question.” Seonghwa pipes up, two pairs of eyes turning to him. “So what if things happened a little differently, would you have caught feelings for him too?”

That was admittedly a question you don’t know the answer to. The whole what if premise never entered your thoughts. “I don’t know the answer to that Seonghwa. If I did, I would’ve answered that earlier on.”

Silence again and the three of you finish your meals. It’s only after that discussion that the boys catch you up with everything and talk with you about other things besides work. It was a nice change you had to admit from everything. “How can you even watch that movie? I had to watch that between my fingers.” The eldest whines much to the mild annoyance of his peer.

“Cause they don’t get easily scared like you, Seonghwa.” Hongjoong returns with ease, much to your entertainment. You look at the time, and your spirit deflates at how the night has to end.

“As much as I would like to keep this going, it’s late…” You say carefully. The boys catch your meaning and help you clean up. Bless their hearts for being the ones willing to deal with the trash of the food they bought. “Thank you for tonight. Get some sleep okay?” You bid them a good night, not heading inside until they’re out of your eyesight. The peace is short lived, as you head back inside. The apartment’s quiet again, save for the faint volume of your laptop playing music. Your thoughts though, will start to run eventually. It feels a little lonely this time, it’s been too long since you’ve had people at your place.

--------

You’re going through social media in bed, wondering what’s new lately. You notice that there’s a new tweets about San, fear runs through your veins, preparing for the worst. When you open the topic, it’s all good words; fans from other idol groups praising him for his performance ethics, professionals from other fields praising him for his attitude and looks. Relief floods over you and you catch yourself shedding tears. You don't understand how something as small as this pushes you to tears but it does. You don't sob, instead they're quiet tears. Not because you didn't want your neighbors or anyone to hear you, you just didn't have the strength to sob. You’re just tired from everything.

Maybe that extra day will help you. You hope it will. Hopefully, things get better soon.

Part 6

#my writings #ateez angst #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #idk what else to tag this as i'll figure it out after i play genshin lol

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years

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To Be Continued - Part 3

Summary: As an author, you had created Brian Kang for your current trilogy series to represent the ultimate man that everyone would love, along with Charli Evers - your female protagonist. What you hadn’t expected was for him to find a way out of the story and begin shaping up your world instead

Pairing: Brian Kang x female writer (ft. Park Sungjin)

Genre: writer au / romance / fantasy

Warnings: fictional characters coming to life / a bit of angst here and there / Sungjin as a cop (or does that only affect me?) >_>

Word count: 2288

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Epilogue

“I know it seems ridiculous,” you stated as you led the constable to your home office, pointing at your desk where both the pen and message waited for him to inspect. “However, I didn’t hear a thing and yet this is all here.”

Sungjin quietly investigated the space, looking to the window and then went over to jiggle the catch. He stepped all around the room, searching for clues, his hand rising to his mouth to cover it as he processed his thoughts.

And then he turned to you. “I don’t really know what to say. This makes no sense.”

“I feel like I’m going insane!” you admitted emotionally, dropping to a crouch and holding onto your legs. “How could someone get in and out without my knowledge whilst everything is still locked?!”

When you glanced up at Sungjin, who came to your side, you noticed the look of scepticism within his eyes. There was nothing factual aside from the second fingerprints, which in your mind, was enough to convince you that someone else had been here. For a moment, the trained professional looked at you and assessed something before smiling gently. You realised then Sungjin was questioning your well-being.

Standing up suddenly, you took a step back from his proximity and looked out the window. “I might have proclaimed just now about feeling as if I’m going insane, but I can assure you, Constable Park, that I’m not already insane.”

“I know,” he answered, trying to catch your attention. When he gained it, he nodded genuinely. “I’m sorry, my brief thought was too brash.”

“I can understand why,” you breathed out with a sigh, shaking your head. “It would be easy enough to plant such evidence, right? I’ve watched enough spy movies and read enough novels to know that it’s relatively simple enough to obtain someone’s fingerprint.”

“Yes, but I believe you haven’t done this on purpose either, Y/N.”

There was comfort in the way he spoke your name and you nodded softly, tears spilling down your cheeks. Sungjin stepped into your space again, patting your shoulder gently. “What do I do?”

“We need to catch the person in the act,” Sungjin suggested and you stared at him curiously. “Have you tried messaging the person back?”

“No… I mean, how does that work? It’s not a social app they’re writing on but Microsoft Word. Even with a cloud sharing system, it would show me that another user is signed in.”

Sungjin shrugged. “Still. Worth a shot, don’t you think?”

“Do I try it now?” you asked and Sungjin shook his head.

“Nothing will happen with me here,” he guessed and you sighed, defeated. You kind of liked that nothing would happen with Sungjin here. But he had a job to do and you did want to solve this issue too.

If it was simply a fan, you would thank them for nursing you back to health that night and ask them to stop this. That seemed simple enough to request. Surely, if they cared that much about you, they would comply.

You didn’t want to consider that their fan status was anything more than just that. Once again, movies and books you had perused with obsessive stalkers cropped up and you shuddered.

Sungjin noticed and rubbed at your shoulders to relax you. “You’re going to be okay. You have my number and I’ll make sure to check in on your regularly too. Let me know if anything happens with the messages, okay?”

“I will.” Leading the constable back out to the front door, he turned and rubbed at his wrist.

“Did you need a lift to get your groceries?”

“Is that allowed in a police vehicle?” you wondered and Sungjin grinned.

“I could write it off as protection services.”

“I’m touched, really,” you responded, trying to rein in the smile you knew was splitting your lips all too obviously.

Sungjin nodded and chuckled back. “Knowing you would take the offer if my car wasn’t government-funded is all I need, Y/N.”

“You best get back to patrolling the streets for proper crime,” you suggested and he nodded. You then laughed. “And I have a date with the fruit and vegetable section to help improve my immunity after dealing with this cold.”

“Take it easy. First dates can be hard to deal with.”

You grinned. “I will. And if I’m in trouble from it, I’ll know who to ring.”

You could tell Sungjin wasn’t usually one for this type of banter, and despite his ears turning red, he seemed to be enjoying himself. Which was no doubt why he was reluctant to step off your front porch right now.

However, he finally did so with another wave and you stepped back inside, locking the door before going to write out your list. It felt weird to use the pen that reappeared so you put it away before reaching for another and jotted down the groceries you needed.

“Have you tried messaging the person back?”

Sungjin’s suggestion lingered in your mind as you prepared to stand and fetch your bag. Relenting, you looked at the screen and inhaled a deep breath before you began to type.

Thank you for returning the pen. And for helping me with my illness.

It felt odd to type anything more and you shook your head to loosen off the feeling, getting to your feet and taking the list out with you.

The words you had written then disappeared without your knowledge, reaching the person they were intended for.

You had almost forgotten all about the incident that led to the constable ending up in your house again today, but the interaction by your front door had replayed so much in your mind that you were too giddy to focus on anything else. As you put away your groceries, you contemplated what Sungjin was like to go grocery shopping with.

It was juvenile. You felt like you were back in high school crushing on a student you liked. You entertained the idea, all the same, slipping further into more domestic actions, swooning over your hypothetical relationship with the man.

You were destined to be a writer. You were far too much of a dreamer for any other profession.

By the time you had eaten a late lunch, you had already jotted down on your phone’s notes app more information to add to your police officer document once back at your desk. You did some house chores before stepping back in there, and before you could even sit down, there was a knock at your door.

It wasn’t Sungjin, however, but your mother, armed with an arsenal to help your illness improve.

You grinned even though you whined out loud. “Mum, I’m basically over it now.”

“You had me worried sick about you. Especially when you mentioned someone broke in!”

Taking what she held and helping the woman inside, you shook your head. “Well, there’s no evidence that’s solid enough to say someone broke in.”

“Should I stay with you tonight?”

“Why tonight when I was more frightened last night?” you asked with a teasing tone and the older woman swatted at you in distaste.

“I’m your mother! I’m allowed to be worried.”

“I’ll be fine! I’ll have the doors all locked, and my favourite police officer’s number saved into my phone. Besides, I’ll no doubt spend my night writing and-”

“Forget I’m even here. Yes, I know how you get when you step out of reality, Y/N.”

You grinned again at her understanding and then were gathered up in a hug. “At least let me cook you dinner. I’ll leave before it gets too late for your creative juices to start rolling out.”

“You’re the best, you know that?”

“Of course I do. I have to be the best to be your Mum!”

After watching two feel-good movies from your childhood and your mother had fed you your favourite dish for dinner before wrapping the night up with fussing over you sufficiently, she headed back home and left you to your own devices.

So it surprised you to finally sit back down after hours away from your laptop to find the screen still active.

Peering closely at it, you blinked slowly at your message or lack of it. Where had it gone? You knew you written the two sentences and pressed enter.

Just as you were about to close the document, your eyes rounded with shock as words began to appear on the screen before you.

“I’m going insane after all,” you said jarringly, reading the sentence as it was typed.

I hope you will stop fearing me and calling that police officer. I’m really not that scary. You know me.

Instead of reaching for your phone, you felt compelled to reply.

Do I?

Again words started to appear before you. Of course. You know me better than I probably do.

How?

You created me.

“Maybe I’ve had too much coffee,” you tried to rationalise but it didn’t make any sense. Looking around yourself to see if someone was remotely plugged in somehow to your laptop, you even searched the connection settings before coming up blank.

So you challenged the writer of the messages.

If I know you and created you – which sounds absolutely absurd by the way – why won’t you show yourself?

You laughed when there was no immediate response and hovered the mouse pointer over the exit button to Microsoft Word, intending to then power off the device. The screen flickered then and you looked back at to see new words forming.

Don’t turn off the laptop.

“What would that have anything to do with this?” you murmured, feeling exasperated from chatting with some strange person within a word document in the first place.

More words appeared. Because the world you created was made on this.

“Okay, it’s getting too late for me now. I’m going to save this document and-”

The screen went blank and you sat back in your chair then, watching it to see what would happen next. Nothing did and you hit the power button on and off, laughing at the predicament. “My battery must have died. Great.”

Searching on the desk for the power cord, you plugged it in and the machine brightened up instantly, blinding you a little with the sudden change.

And then it opened Captivated again.

You watched as the story scrolled down at an unbelievably fast rate, reaching the bottom of the manuscript where you had changed the words back to The End for the third time. They disappeared and were replaced with To Be Continued once more, infuriating you.

“Leave my work alone! This is an intrusion on my intellectual property! You have no right interfering with--”

You weren’t sure if you were hallucinating or not. You weren’t even sure how it happened. One moment, whilst you were ranting to whoever may be listening in about your rights, you were all alone.

The next, a man was leaning against your desktop beside you.

“What the… how did you get in here?!” you cried, not looking up at him properly, reaching into your pocket to retrieve your phone.

“I really don’t think you need to call for him. But if it makes you feel safer, by all means, ring your hero.”

His voice, although you had never heard it before, felt familiar, as if you had imagined that’s how someone would sound. You glanced at his hand resting on the table beside you, wondering why it looked as if you had written about this hand so often it almost felt intimate. Following your gaze up his arm, you ran your focus along his shoulder and up to his face, hearing your phone clatter to the floor beside you.

As you looked intensely into his warm brown eyes that watched you back, and then took in the sharp slant of his nose that was definitely a characteristic point, before finally moving to his lips, you knew exactly who you were staring back at.

Brian Kang.

He grinned, scrunching up his nose a little in the process and it made you gasp. This seemed to please the man. “Well, I guess it works on more than just Charli Evers, huh?”

“You’re… wait… how can you… I mean, this is exactly how I pictured you but… it’s impossible.”

Brian nodded, glancing back at your laptop and tapped on the screen. “I guess it would seem like that to you since my world is created from your imagination.”

“Sungjin’s right, I’ve gone mad.”

“Darling, you’ve been mad for some time but I wouldn’t go thinking this is a hallucination.”

“You’re not real.”

“Well, I guess I’m not meant to be real. I’m not really sure how I figured this all out either. I’m still learning about the outside world so forgive me for scaring you with all this.”

“The outside world?” you repeated incredulously, grasping your head as you felt faint. “Why am I talking to my imagination?! This is an all-time low for me; even I have to admit it.”

“Y/N,” Brian stated, capturing your attention once again. His expression was resolute. You knew without him saying anything else that he believed in what he was about to say wholly. “Whilst you are my maker, I do exist. I’m real.”

“I bet I can’t even touch--” A whimper left you then as he reached out to take a hold of your wrist with the same hand you had inspected. And then he slipped it down so he was holding yours, marvelling at the connection.

And like any normal, logical person who just met their creation in the flesh, you completely blacked out from the experience.

_________________

Part 4

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#kwritersworldnet #young k #young k fiction #young k fanfic #young k fluff #young k romance #young k au #day6 #day6 fiction #day6 fanfic #day6 fluff #day6 romance #day6 au #pwyl; to be continued #kpop fiction #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff #kpop romance

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st-just · 4 years

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Semi-coherent thoughts on Oathbringer

So, overall probably the most even of the series so far, I’d say? Not to say I didn’t like it – I really, really loved the finale, and there were plenty of great lines, but my god were there a lot of pages spent on nothing happening (honestly it kind of reminded me of the latter volumes of ASOIF, in that sense) – then again, I suppose that is kind of just the nature of these 1000+ page fantasy epics. There were some setting reveals that really were fascinating, and legitimately a bit surprising. Going to have to take a break from the series until the friend I got Rhythm of War for is done so I can borrow it, though I suppose that’s no huge loss compared to the however many years everyone else had to wait in between them.

So in terms of pacing it’s...bad. Or, well, that’s probably a bit unfair. There’s absolutely plenty of fat to cute, but again I do think that might just come with the territory of committing to like a dozen POVs across a tree’s worth of paper (though there were absolutely like 100+ page stretches where I’m not actually sure the plot meaningfully progressed). That said, honestly the main pacing issue isn’t so much the bloat as, like – okay, Dalinar’s arc was a pretty consistent throughline, but for Kalidan and Shallan it kind of felt like there was one whole story in Urithiru, and then from the mission to Kholinar and the journey through the Cognitive Realm felt like its own separate novel? I mean, not sure if that makes any sense, but it really did kind of feel like there was a whole additional first act of table and stakes setting once they arrived in the city.

Though, to argue in favor of bloat for a moment – I was chatting with @lifeattomsdiner bit back about The City We Became, and they mentioned that the size of the cast meant that you don’t actually really get to know any of the protagonists that well on their own. And I suppose that is the advantage of the 1200-page-per-volume epic cycle – even with characters you only really meet in interludes like Szeth, Vargo and Venli (incidentally three of my favorites), you spend enough pages inside of their head that you do really get to see what makes them tick and learn to love/hate them. Speaking of – props to Sanderson as an author, really – it’s vaguely astounding that he manages to keep track of that many internal monologues and actually make them seem distinct from each other.

Breaking things down by character a bit more – this book really did actually enjoy/get invested in Dalinar way more than either of the previous two, which again I’m told is more or less the expected reaction. Given the amount of tumblr brain poison I’m voluntarily exposed myself to, it’s honestly more than a bit of a nice change to see a character on a redemption arc who is actually unambiguously in need of redemption. Because holy shit, pulled, like, exactly two punches in terms of making the guy as genuinely loathsome as possible before he starts breaking. And, well, obviously he was on a redemption arc, but there was a bit near the end there where I really did think that the book was going to cut to black on an ‘end of Act 2, maximum darkness before dawn’ moment with, like, all the Skybreakers and him kneeling before Odium as the city fell. But I suppose that would be a bit much of a cliffhanger for a series with installments this weighty.

This was pretty clearly Shallan’s ‘getting over my personal bullshit’ book, like WoR was for Kaladin and WoK was for Dalinar, though spicing things up with increasingly severe DID as the book went on did make things more interesting at least. Also, I have no idea if this is actually true, but according to the friend who pestered me into reading these when someone asked Sanderson if he’d intentionally written her as bi he just kind of shrugged and said ‘sure, why not,’ which is fun. It was more than a bit, I don’t know, forced?, to have Wit just wander in from stage left and give her a desperately needed therapy session while she was in the middle of a breakdown and propel her development for most of the rest of the book, but on the other hand she’s pretty easily the main POV I’m most invested in by now, and the live triangle the text repeatedly threatened me with never actually became a thing, so I can’t really complain too much. Honestly super curious about the Ghostbloods and what they want out of her given, well, for a shadowy murderous conspiracy, everything they’ve wanted out of her so far has been pretty much entirely benign. Like, of the three major shadowy murderous conspiracies they’re easily the least problematic for the future of humanity at the moment. She should just commit and join for real imo.

As always, Kaladin’s POV is mostly good because it means we get more Syl, who is the single best character in the entire story I’ve decided. But also, I really quite liked his whole sojourn with the newly freed Parshmen and dawning realization that ‘wait these people are basically entirely right’. Also, the delicious delicious angst of spending however many dozens of pages getting to know them and then the wall guard and then the two groups killing each other in a confused melee while he has a mental breakdown. Easily best moment in the book (but then I’m a miserable person).

Adolin is honestly significantly more entertaining to follow than I really expected, though I’m still not like especially invested in him as a character. His relationship with his tailor was quite charming, though, as was the fact that he cares enough about fashion that he learned to sew. Honestly I was rather expecting/slightly dreading his main arc this book to be, like, inadequacy or insecurity over being almost literally the only member of his family that’s not a Radiant, so it’s kind of a pleasant surprise that he seems to have just accepted that (too well-adjust, I guess?). It is however extremely funny that the fact he just straight-up murdered one of the kingdom’s most important aristocrats and the major antagonist of the first two books seems to have resulted in absolutely zero consequences of any kind for him.

In terms of minor characters, the one I’m most invested in by a pretty substantial margin at this point is Venli, as she’s getting a front row seat to all the most interesting bits of the setting, ‘cultist growing increasingly disillusioned about return of ancient and terrible eldritch god’ is a really entertaining character arc just in principle, and because as of the end of the book she represents the morally objectively correct perspective and political line I’ve decided and will fight people about. Curious what sort of superpowers she’ll get. (Vargo and Szeth are still both great though, too).

The Unmade are really fun as a worldbuilding conceit/excuse for weird fucked up monsters. And it really is kind of funny that at least a third of the God of Evil’s nine generals/children/favoured beasts are, like, at conflicted or ambivalent about the whole ‘exterminate humanity and remake the world as a monument to my glory’ thing.

Really, on an extremely shallow and entirely aesthetic level, between the evil red crystal/lightning aesthetic, the remote mountain fortress as a stronghold of the heroes in the face of the coming apocalypse, tears into the realm of spirits, the quirky evil minibosses each handling corrupting/conquering a given center of civilization, etc, the whole thing kind of reminded me of Dragon Age Inquisition. Which reminded me of how disappointing the story to that game was, which made me like the book more by comparison, but anyway. Yeah, good book.

#books #oathbringer #stormlight archive #cosmere #brandon sanderson #in this essay I will #book review

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whatareyousearchingfordean · 4 years

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Happiness Begins

Part 23

Chapter Summary: It turns out going home to Austin wasn’t all it cracked up to be. Elsewhere, Jensen has an interesting conversation with an old friend.

Warnings: Language, angst, dealing with mental health issues

Word Count: 3.2K+

Author’s Note: I just want to start here by reiterating that this is a work of fiction and should be treated as such. I mean no harm to Danneel or her beautiful family, and I have a zero-tolerance policy on this blog. I see and legit forms of hate towards any wife and you are blocked. That being said, I hope you enjoy this part xoxo Alex

Catch up with the series masterlist and check out Alexandra’s Library for more works by yours truly.

Two months later…

When Y/n had stepped onto the tarmac in Austin, she had believed wholeheartedly that this could be a fresh start for her. Or at the very least, she hoped going back to her status quo would help to dull that empty feeling she now held in her chest. And it had worked, at first. Catching up on everything had been just the distraction she was looking for, but as time went on and the workload steadied off, it became harder for her to mask all the emotions.

It was something she had done numerous times before. A coping mechanism that as much as she knew how unhealthy it was, she always found herself reverting back to. This time was no different, and Y/n had found herself working herself into the ground. She was doing everything she could to make sure that work was all that could consume her thoughts, which turned out great in the end for Et Cetera.

Last week, she had received an email from the conglomerate Coty, one of the world’s largest beauty brands, requesting a meeting with her and her lawyers. Obviously, she had been immediately interested, the butterflies in her stomach on full alert even after the meeting had ceased.

“Just… think about our offer. We don’t need an answer right away, we understand that this is a big decision for you. We hope to hear from you soon.” Mr. Baltussen, the CPO for Coty, slid her over a copy of his business card along with the legal documents that spelled out their offer.

“Of course, thank you.” Y/n nodded her head as the small group of executives let themselves out of the conference room. As the door closed behind them, she snapped her head to her lawyer next to her, who already had her nose in the paperwork.

“What do you think?”

“I think this all looks pretty legitimate. Y/n this is a more than generous offer.” Her lawyer’s eyes quickly scanned the words before flitting up to meet Y/n’s.

“So you think I should accept it?”

“Honestly?” Y/n nodded, pleading for an honest answer. “Only you can make that decision, but this says to me that no matter what decision you make, you’ll be just fine.”

“Damn, I was hoping for a more definite answer.” She dropped her head into her folded arms on the table top.

“Sorry I couldn’t be of more help, but I’m here for you no matter what.”

That conversation had been all that she thought about for the rest of the night and was the first thing on her mind when she had woken the next morning. Having the day off, since it was the weekend, meant she had more time to dwell on it. At first, she had been adamant about declining their offer, but the more she thought about it the more appealing it became. After all, her method of shoving everything down to avoid feeling was no longer working for her. Being in Austin, where he also lived, tended to grate on some of her nerves. She often found herself tense when out in public, which she fully understood how irrational it was, afraid that she would run into him somewhere. Her heart just wasn’t ready for that quite yet. Even with her and Jared talking again, things still hurt. He was family and she would never be able to get away from him, but Coty was offering her the ability to get about just as far away as she could from the mess she had created.

Y/n had pulled her laundry from the drier as she went about doing her weekend chores. She plopped onto the couch with the basket in front of her and turned on the news for some background noise. The program was just finishing up as she paid no attention to it and its switch to Entertainment Tonight. She was just about finished with folding when the host’s words caught her attention.

“Coming up next, Supernatural star Jensen Ackles and ex fiance Danneel Harris caught cozying up to each other for lunch in downtown LA.” Y/n snapped her head up to the tv and dropped the panties in her hand back into the basket at her feet. She searched blindly for the remote to turn up the tv as the program returned.

“The two ex lovers were seen having what seemed like a friendly, and funny, lunch together. Could this be the start of a rekindling romance? Only time will tell as their reps declined for comment.” Images of the two flashed across the screen, paparazzi photos of the two of them, both had wide smiles on their faces as they sat next to each other on a patio table. A pair of sunglasses sat on both of their faces, but even she could see the small crinkles around his eyes from that beautiful smile on his face.

Her heart sank into her stomach as she sat back on her couch and pulled her knees into her chest. All those emotions she had fought so hard to push down were now bubbling back up to the surface and threatening to explode out of her throat in a sob. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes as she fought the stinging in her nose.

Deep down she knew she had no right to feel the way she was. After all, Jensen had ended things with her, and she certainly didn’t leave the door open for him to come running back in. But all she could think about was his promise to her, his promise that he was over the one woman that had the pleasure of wearing his ring on her finger. The images on her television now told her a different story, though, and that brought up every insecurity in her.

What was it that Danneel had that she didn’t? There were the obvious physical differences that she wouldn’t even dare to delve into in her fragile state. But what else about her made her more desirable? Was she smarter, funnier, better in the bedroom…

Ugh! Y/n ran her hands through her hair, tugging gently at the roots. She was so far beyond over feeling like this. She was supposed to be better at handling herself when she got this way, but more so, she was supposed to be over comparing herself to other women. It had been so long since she had relapsed like this, and she had reached her breaking point. Y/n was not okay anymore, and she needed help.

****

Y/n rifled through her living room, tossing pillows and cushions from her couch. She had been so sure that she had left her laptop on the coffee table when she went to bed last night. It was nowhere to be found. Not in her bedroom, living room, not even in her kitchen.

“Damn it.” she growled to herself. There was no more time to look for it, she had to be at Jared and Gen’s soon, so she would just have to push back this search until later. Quickly she put her house back into a semi clean order and ran out the door. Luckily, her brother didn’t live too far from her and she was still on time when she pulled up in their drive.

Three little bodies had the front door pulled open before she could even open her car door. “Aunt Y/n!” Odette was the first one out the door. Y/n knelt down in front of her niece, sweeping her up into her arms and squeezing her tight. It had been longer than usual since she had seen Jared and his kids, in person at least. Things were still… tense to say the least between them. They were still working on their issues… slowly.

Y/n picked up the toddler and made her way inside, hugging the boys as she went. Gen was waiting just inside the door, offering her a tight hug as well.

“We miss you around here, you know that?” Gen smiled as she let down Odette and the kids ran off to continue what they were doing before she had pulled up.

“I know. We are getting there.” Y/n agreed, it really had been too long. She missed her family more than she had thought. They had been so close since forever, that she never understood what it was like to be at a distance from them.

“Then come around more often, please?” Gen urged her sister in law to follow her into the kitchen.

“Gen,” Y/n tried, casting her glance away from the woman who was pleading with her. That was the last thing she needed to hear right now. “I have some news.”

“Should I grab Jared…” She started towards the stairs that lead to their second floor before Y/n moved to stop her.

“No please, just listen.” Gen leaned against the island, giving Y/n her full attention. “I had a meeting on Friday with executives from Coty. They uh,” She chuckled, still in disbelief that this was even happening. “They want to buy my majority shares in Et Cetera.”

“Wow, Y/n that is huge.” Genevieve’s word’s didn’t match the inflection in her voice or the crease that appeared between her brows. She was just as skeptical as Y/n had been when they first presented her the offer.

“That’s not all. Coty offered me a VP position where I would be in charge of US operations. My lawyer said it’s a more than generous offer since I get a seven figure salary plus benefits and bonus’, not to mention the money from the sale of my shares.” Y/n played with the fruit in the bowl in front of her.

“There’s more, isn't there?” The woman was too smart for her own good, Y/n thought to herself. Of course Gen picked up on that fact that she was holding something back.

“I would need to relocate to New York.” Her face scrunched up as she prepared for some sort of outrage or surprise from Gen, but nothing came. Her next words were softer than she deserved.

“Do you want to accept the offer?”

“I didn’t, at first.” Y/n admitted. That was the easy part, admitting to what had changed her mind on the other hand would be a lot more difficult, because she didn’t even want to admit it to herself. “But I don’t know now. It feels like everyone around me is moving on with their lives while I’m just stuck on some sort of endless corporate hamster wheel. I don’t feel the excitement for what I do anymore. Hell, I don’t feel anything anymore. Moving to New York could be just what I need.”

“And what about us? What about your family here in Texas.”

“We have facetime. And I’ll always just be a plane ride away. I mean, it's not like I’m going to Yemen or something. We will have the holidays too.” The catch in her voice broke on her last sentence. She didn’t know who she was trying to convince more, herself or Gen.

“Is this about Jensen?” Gen stood up straighter, her head cocking slightly as she spoke.

Y/n huffed, what a stupid question. “Of course it is. He’s clearly moved on, our time together just a distant and horrible memory. Why shouldn’t I be afforded that same luxury?”

“Come on, you don’t really believe that? Y/n, you have worked so hard for everything you have. And it is all yours, right here in Austin, where your family is too. Why throw all that away over some guy?” Gen’s hand found its way to Y/n’s shoulder, her fingers squeezing the flesh there to try and ground her. She hated seeing her making emotional decisions, especially ones that would affect not only her.

“Jensen wasn’t just some guy, Gen. But I did lose him, and I’m trying my damndest here to move on, but I just haven’t found the ability to do so yet. That’s all I’m looking for.” Y/n cast her gaze down into her lap, where she was now picking at the cuticle on her thumb.

“And all I’m saying is, don’t make this kind of decision without talking to the people around you. Get all the perspective you can, because I don’t think you are seeing this clearly right now.”

“I hear you Gen, but I don’t know if I’ll change my mind again.” Gen nodded her understanding, only wishing she could get through to her sister in law somehow. She pulled her into her chest, hugging her again, because she didn’t know what else she could do.

Neither of them noticed Jared standing on the landing of the stairs, catching every word his sister uttered. His heart sank as he listened to his sister talk. Never before had he heard the defeat in her voice. Y/n was one of the most strong willed people he knew, but she had just… given up.

Before now, he hadn’t noticed how far she had fallen. But maybe that was because he wasn’t looking. The two of them didn’t talk like they used to, and right now he was feeling incredibly guilty about that. Why hadn’t he seen it before? Was it because all he could focus on was the steam coming out of his own ears when he found out she had been sleeping with his best friend? Or was it because as much as she chastised him for it, he still saw her as his baby sister and not the independent woman she had become. It was not like her at all to give up on something she had been working so hard towards. Y/n was not the type of woman to balk at money, and she certainly wouldn’t be the one to walk away from her family for any amount of it.

Jared couldn’t see anymore why he had ever been so adamant that the two of them should not be together. Maybe it was because he knew too many of the intimate details of Jensen’s sex life to think about his sister in that way, or maybe it was even because he thought they wouldn’t be a good match. He could see it now though, having known both of them for so long. Jared shook his head at himself for not seeing truly how much those two were made for each other. He had only stood in their way when he should have been playing matchmaker. After all, didn’t he owe it to two of the most important people in his life to help them find their way to each other?

Jared vowed in that moment, he would fix this. He had to fix this.

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles...

The waiter set down their plates in front of them with a quick ‘enjoy’ before running off. Danneel bit into the salad placed in front of her, chewing delicalating as she decided on what to say.

“You know, I have to say I was surprised you called me.” She thought back to his cryptic text that he had sent. ‘I’m in town and need to talk, can we get lunch?’ was all that it said. He had sent her the name of the cafe when she had agreed on meeting him. The two had exhausted the small talk in the time it took for their food to come and she wanted to get straight to the point.

“I was too, to be honest. But I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I think you may be one of the few people who can help me.” Jensen took a drink of his water, not looking in her direction.

“Me? We haven’t exactly been pen pals all this time.”

“I know, that means you have an outsider's view point on all of this. And you know me better than almost anyone, I trust your opinion.” Jensen stated. Danneel mouthed a ‘wow’ and sat back in her chair, wiping her face with her napkin.

“This must be big then.” Danneel eyed the man sitting next to her, waiting for him to start with whatever it was he wanted to tell her.

“God, where do I start, uh… I met this woman.” He began, his hand fiddling with the fork against his plate.

“Mmmm.” Danneel hummed, the realization finally hitting her.

“I… she is probably the best thing to ever happen to me. Actually, she’s a lot like you in some ways, brilliant, witty, and beyond beautiful. I fell for her, and I fell hard.”

“So what is the problem exactly?”

“I had to break things off with her. I thought what I was doing was best for her and me, but as time has gone on I’m not so sure. I can’t seem to get rid of this churning in my gut.” His tongue jetted out to wet his lower lip as he poured his heart out. This was not an easy thing for him to admit, the last thing he wanted was to hurt Danneel.

“This girl wouldn’t happen to be Y/n Padalecki, would she?” A small smirk graced her features as Jensen snapped his gaze up to hers.

“H...How?”

“Well you weren’t exactly subtle when you ran after her at your birthday. Not to mention both of you were gone for too long and you returned with that little post coitus smirk you tend to get.” Danneel swirled her finger in a circle to emphasize her point. Jensen chuckled under his breath, his head shaking in disbelief. The noise grew in his chest before bubbling up into a full bellied laugh. Danneel couldn’t help but to join in, his laughter having that effect on people.

“Would you believe that Jared asked me not to get involved with her?” Danneel nodded, she had known Jared for a while, and that did not surprise her at all. “We saw each other behind his back and when he found out, all hell broke loose. The two of them weren’t talking for two weeks.”

“Oh, Jay…”

“Am I an idiot?” He asked her, his voice soft, as if afraid of her answer.

“No, you are not an idiot. You’re in love, but you’re not an idiot.” Danneel held out her hand for him across the table. He took it and she squeezed his palm. “Listen, I know what it’s like to walk away from something because it is the best option for both of you, but I also believe that what’s meant to be, will be.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying if you truly love her and she loves you, you’ll find your way back to each other.” Danneel reiterated.

“And what if we are too late?” Jensen tried.

“Then don’t make yourself late. The least you can do is go to her and tell her how you feel. Then it’s in her hands.”

“You make it sound so easy, Dee.”

“Oh it’s not.” Danneel dropped his hand. “It’s downright terrifying. But do you want to live your life wondering what if?” Jensen shook his head. “Then go get her.”

Part 24

Forevers: @spn-impala @22sarah08 @turtlepad @callmekda @chaldei @hobby27 @cowboysnwinchesters @tranquility-or-chaos @pikabootoyouchu @dawnie1988 @grease222 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @polina-93 @clarinette07 @moonlight-babeh @suckerforfanfic @witandnargles @sleepylunarwolf @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @geeksareunique @akshi8278 @superfanficnatural @malfoysqueen14 @deanwanddamons @waywardbeanie

Et Cetera: @jbbarnesgirl @hillface89 @arses21434 @thevelvetseries @sslater34 @mrsirishboru @smoothdogsgirl @spnfamily-j2 @encounterthepast @facadeformyrealblog @supernatural-bellawinchester @screechingartisancashbailiff @rebeccathefangirl @squirrelnotsam @heartinmyhead1 @1d-killed-me @samsgirl93 @deans-baby-momma @deanmonandnegansbitch @woodworthti666 @supraveng @onethirstyunicorn @heartsaved @know2grow @littlewhiterose @surprisinglysarah @stoneyggirl @carryon-doctor-lock @thebookisbtr @youaremyfiveever @kalesrebellion @lilulo-12 @winchester-fantasies @vicmc624 @supernatural3002 @winchester-writes @maralisa124 @therollingstoners @parinarain

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mismaeve · 3 years

Text

♕ Burning Lights ♕

❝ Shine a light through an open door. Love and life I will divide. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤTurn away 'cause I need you more. Feel the heartbeat in my mind. ❞

Chapter 14 of the Burning Lights series Pairing: Katherine Pierce x Elijah Mikaelson Warnings: None POV: Elijah _________________________________________________

“ Will you pick one? ” Elijah breathed out in light frustration, mixed with amusement. Katherine had been going through the different radio stations for the past 5 minutes, not being able to settle on one. His driving was suddenly interrupted by a rather loud combination of drums and guitar accompanied by someone screaming along the so called melody. “ Ooops, not that one, ” Katherine quickly changed the station yet again before settling down on something that resembled modern day pop. “ Thank you, ” Elijah breathed out in relief that the horrid noise was gone. He adjusted his sunglasses before weaving his hand through his hair which was flying in all directions. Katherine had insisted Elijah compel them a convertible, to be able to enjoy the sunny and warm evening, had been her exact words. Elijah had to admit, feeling the wind on his face and in his hair felt strangely liberating, made him feel more at ease. They had decided to leave Florida, after their dramatic turn of events, both of them felt the place no longer held any appeal to either of them. Katherine had then suggested to have a road trip heading west through Louisiana and Texas all the way to Mexico. She wanted to stay a couple of days at a beautiful resort before heading to Hawaii. She had pointed out that the trip would do them good, give them a chance to bond. Elijah had agreed that it did in fact sound appealing, leaving all their problems behind them, in the past, and move forward.

ㅤ

“ Oh, I like this one, ” Katherine suddenly exclaimed, practically dropping her magazine and startling Elijah. Her hand went to turn up the volume. “ Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago, ” she was mumbling along the lyrics, causing Elijah to peek over at her with a raised eyebrow. “ You found me, you found me, ” she continued as she was bobbing her head along the music. “ What is this song? ” he tried to ask her but she simply ignored him and continued to sing along the song that was currently playing on their radio. “ And he’s long gone, when he’s next to me, ” Katherine sang before turning up the volume yet again, filling his ears with what people nowadays referred to as music. “ ‘Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in, ” Katherine continued and Elijah couldn’t help but chuckle hearing her sing louder and louder, moving in her seat along the beat. “ Flew me to places I’d never been, ” she continued rather vigorously, at times turning towards him as if she was singing about him. A light laughter escaped Elijah’s lips, watching her like this brought joy to his heart, she seemed so carefree and blissful. “ OH, OH, trouble, trouble, trouble, ” Katherine continued to entertain him with her dance moves and vocal range. “ Am I supposed to be this trouble you are singing about? ” Elijah asked loudly wanting to be heard over the loud music. “ Oh, darling, we’re both trouble, ” she remarked quickly before continuing to grace him with her singing. “ I’d say you’re more trouble than I could ever possibly hope to be, ” Elijah teased her with a gentle smirk on his lips. “ And don’t you ever forget that, ” Katherine smirked back at him and he saw her wink at him through her sunglasses. Another heartfelt laughter left his lips as he thought to himself that he couldn’t recall the last time he had felt this relaxed and at ease. He had to give credit where credit was due, it was all Katherine. He had stopped fighting her influence and instead had decided to go along with her impulses. “ TROUBLE, TROUBLE, TROUBLE, ” Elijah joined in, singing at the top of his lungs as best he could. Katherine threw her head back in a laughter that was so pure and true, Elijah could feel it touch his soul. If happiness, true happiness and carefreeness could ever manifest itself, it would be this very moment.

ㅤ

A couple of hours later they had arrived at a motel to spend the night, even though Elijah had tried to convince her that they could just as easily keep on heading west towards Texas, but Katherine wouldn’t hear it. Naturally, he couldn’t blame her for not wanting to sleep in the car, so they settled on finding a remote motel. “ I realise this is below any standards, but we are only staying here for the night, ” he tried to reason with a more or less disgruntled Katherine. “ But New Orleans is nowhere near here, Elijah, ” Katherine complained as she let herself fall on top of the bed. “ It’s best we maintain a low profile, ” Elijah pointed out as he locked the door behind them, before placing their bags on the other bed. In truth, he had been more than happy to continue driving day and night if that meant leaving Louisiana behind them. He didn’t want to risk anyone taking notice of them. The last person Elijah wanted to know about Katherine’s condition was his brother Niklaus. There was no telling what he might do if he learned of Katherine becoming human. “ You don’t need to lecture me on how to evade Klaus, ” Katherine nipped at him with a dissatisfied tone, “ If anyone was ever an expert of dodging your homicidal brother, it’s me, ” she finished as she sat up some, leaning back on her hands. “ Tired, are we? ” Elijah asked her with a raised eyebrow, a playful smirk making it’s way across his lips. There was no doubt that Katherine was spoiled and entitled, so he understood her misgivings about their current accommodations, yet he wanted to brighten her mood nonetheless. “ Is it that obvious? ” she asked him with a raised eyebrow, Elijah noticed her trying to remain serious and irritated, but the playful spark in her eyes suggested otherwise. “ I’ve noticed you get a certain way when you’re tired, ” he teased her playfully. “ Have you now? ” she tilted her head to the side, watching him with her doe-like eyes, a hint of a smirk taking it’s place on her lips. “ I pay attention, ” he told her as he unzipped their bag and fished out their bag of toiletries. “ Aren’t you perceptive, ” Katherine mused, the tease in her voice evident. “ More than you know, ” Elijah replied as he continue to unpack their bag. He glanced over at her after a moment only to see her watching him with amusement on her face and a devious smirk playing on her lips. He would be a fool if he tried to convince himself that he didn’t enjoy the playful manner in which they sparred with one another. Katherine seemed to enjoy him participating in her games as well. “ Now how about that sleep? ” he asked her with a raised eyebrow.

ㅤ

Elijah’s eyes were closed as he tried his best to quiet his mind. To say that he had a lot on his mind would be a grand understatement. During their waking hours, he seemed to be able to push his troubles aside, yet whenever night came, and silence filled the space between them, his thoughts would get a hold of him and keep him hostage. Whenever his thoughts proved to be too much for him to bear, he’d find himself listening to her heartbeat. He had come to appreciate it as his own personal lullaby. “ Elijah? ” he heard Katherine whisper his name quietly. He turned his head in the direction of her bed. “ Yes, love? ” he replied quietly, his thoughts focusing on her again. “ I can’t sleep, ” she said with a sigh and he saw her move on her side to face him, her arm tucked neatly under her head. “ That makes it two of us, ” he observed softly, his voice quiet. “ Tell me something good, ” she said after a brief moment of silence. Elijah smiled to himself. “ I’m not sure if it’s the kind of good you are yearning for, but I can tell you something true, ” he said after a while. “ Tell me, ” she replied softly, moving some to get more comfortable he supposed. “ Going to bed has, as of late, become a ritual I’m not particularly fond of, ” he said with his eyes fixated on her, “ so in order to escape my own darkness, I listen for your heartbeat, ” he continued to muse quietly, “ it’s become this beacon of light and serenity, ” he paused then, debating whether or not he should continue. “ Coincidentally, your heartbeat was the first thing I listened for when I found you at the high school in Mystic Falls, ” he confided in her then, “ it was music to my ears then and now, ” he paused again, trying to find the right words to make it sound right, “ it’s become this soothing melody in the midst of all this despair, ” he finished quietly. “ Have you ever considered becoming a poet? ” Katherine asked after a moment of silence. As Elijah found himself struggling to answer that, he heard her chuckle under her breath. A smile appeared on his lips then. “ A bleeding poet, is that what your heart desires? ” he asked her then, and saw an amused smile spread across her beautiful features. “ You’d be good, you have that tortured soul vibe nailed down to perfection, ” she teased him innocently. “ I suppose I should find myself a muse then, ” Elijah teased her back. “ Ouch, ” he heard her say and saw her move her lips into a pout which made Elijah chuckle lightly. “ Thank you, ” she said after a while, the tease from her voice gone. She was being sincere now and Elijah knew she was thanking him for what he had told her earlier. Something told him that she appreciated him baring his soul to her like that. “ Of course, ” he replied softly. Elijah saw her close her eyes then, he watched her for a little while before closing his eyes as well. He felt himself slowly begin to drift as he listened to the soft beating of her heart.

ㅤㅤ

Elijah had decided they were going to have to stop somewhere for breakfast seeing how the food they had at the motel consisted of whatever you wanted to pick out from a wending machine selection. He knew only all too well that Katherine would rather starve than put that poison into her body. Having decided to only get them coffee for now, he was on his way back to their room. “ I got us whatever passes for coffee here, ” he said as he entered their room, his brow furrowing some as he didn’t see any sign of Katherine. “ Katherine? ” he called her name but no one answered. He paused to listen for her but to no use. She wasn’t here. His eyes quickly scanned the room, looking for a note she might have left him. Nothing. He set aside the coffee he had in his hand, and quickly fished out his cellphone from his trousers’ pocket. His finger touched where her name was on the screen of his cellphone and pressed it to his ear. A soft buzzing noise came from the other side of the room. He flashed to her bed in an instant, looking through the sheets, seeing the screen of her cellphone light up with his name on it. As Elijah stared at the white screen with his name on, he could feel the colour drain from his face. ㅤ _________________________________________________

#kalijah #kalijah au #kalijah fanfiction #kalijah fic #katherine x elijah #elijah x katherine #katherine pierce #elijah mikaelson #katerina petrova #tvd #the vampire diaries #burning lights

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heyyyharry · 5 years

Text

Harry suggests they watch Fifty Shades of Grey together

(a blurb from the Flatmate Series / pre-relationship)

Word count: 2.6k

Warning: heavy sexual tension and mention of smut, but also a lot of fluff.

Yes, I had to rewatch the film and fast-forward to the sex scenes to write in such details lmao. This is my favourite flatmate blurb at the moment 😂

“Let’s watch Fifty Shades of Grey tonight.”

Y/N widened her eyes at Harry. She thought he was joking, but as he entered the title onto Netflix, she snatched the remote from his hand immediately.

“It’s my turn to pick the movie,” she said, making him scoff.

“No, it’s my turn. You picked the movie for two weeks in a row because last week I couldn’t decide between Coraline and Corpse Bride, remember?”

Y/N huffed as she gave the remote back to him. She wasn’t into the idea at all, but she was curious to know why he insisted on picking this one and not one of those ‘everyone’s favourite’ movies that he would normally pick.

“Harry.”

“What?”

“Isn’t this movie about sex?” Y/N muttered as her cheeks turned pink. Fortunately, her flatmate was looking at the screen.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “It’s not like porn though. Don’t worry.”

“Have you watched it before?”

“No, but everyone says it’s bad.”

“Then why do you wanna watch it? Let’s put on something good! Something with Timothée Chalamet!”

“I’m tired of Timothée Chalamet!”

“No one is tired of Timothée Chalamet! You suck!”

Harry stopped before he was about to press play and turned to her, raising his eyebrows. “Well, you can watch your Timmy when you’re alone. Tonight we’re watching this terrible movie for a change. It’s gonna be fun.”

Y/N tossed her head back as she groaned. “You’re making me watch this because I said no to watching porn with you!”

“Not true! Don’t disrespect porn like that!” He scoffed. “Porn makes you horny, this will be like a nice little comedy. I mean, the books are shit on paper, this should be worse.”

“You’ve read the books?”

“I’ve read one chapter. I was a curious horny teenager, don’t judge me.”

“All right then.” She sighed and let him press play. “If it gets weird, we’re turning it off.”

The movie turned out to be more entertaining than they had expected, especially when they had unintentionally started a competition to see who could point out more mistakes. Harry was definitely winning, but Y/N didn’t mind. She was in hysterics as he kept throwing in random comments about every single scene.

“Why does she keep biting her lip? What’s wrong with her lip?”

“Did he fucking track her phone?! This guy’s a stalker!”

“Never get too drunk when you go out, Y/N. I don’t want you to end up in some creep’s...sex dungeon!”

But when came the first sex scene, Harry was as quiet as a mouse. He had expected it to be ridiculously unrealistic like the whole idea of the story, but this scene was actually kind of...hot?

Y/N didn’t even notice his sudden silence. Her eyes were fixed on the screen and he had to steal a glance at her when Christian laid a naked Ana down on the bed and started eating her out.

Y/N was nibbling on her lip. Even though she didn’t show much from her facial expression, seeing the way she switched to a different sitting position with her legs crossed, Harry assumed the scene was doing something to her too. For some reason, watching two characters fucking turned him on less than watching his flatmate squirming because of it.

He assumed this would have been fun to watch with his friends, but was definitely a terrible choice for a movie night with his crush. Now he couldn’t help but imagine himself making love to her like that. It must have been a long time since she slept with someone. If only he could show her what she’d been missing and made her feel so good she wouldn’t wish to be with anyone else. Even that stupid actor Timothée Chalamet.

“That was...something.” Y/N released a sharp breath once the scene was over and turned to smile at Harry.

He smiled back, wanting to throw in a joke to clear the tension but his mind was completely blank at this point. They were only forty-five minutes in. He wasn’t sure if he could get through two hours without at least an erection. God, he was so fucking screwed.

“She’s got a nice little butt,” Y/N said as the actress stood fully naked with her back to the mirror. He supposed she wanted to make this less awkward for them, but now he couldn’t stop thinking about her butt.

“You’ve got a nice butt too.” He nudged her with his shoulder and she slapped him on the arm.

“You’ve never seen my butt!” Then her mouth fell open. “Have you?!”

“No! It was just a guess!” I wish I had though, he thought as Y/N pushed his face away and looked back at the screen.

The next sex scene came right after. Harry almost cursed out loud when Christian tied Ana’s wrists together with a tie, thank God the mum showed up and interrupted the couple before they fucked again. Y/N burst out laughing, and he did too, but out of relief.

He prayed his dick would just stay calm until the credits started rolling. If only it wasn’t so fucking sensitive! Look what you’ve done to yourself, dumbass. You should’ve gone with Timothée Chalamet.

“Who wrote these dialogues? Oh my god!” Y/N giggled as the characters started talking again.

“If you agree to do this, you’re gonna want your own room.”

“Why? Because I’ll be your sex slave?”

“Take me as your sex slave, Christian. I want a bigger room!” Harry joked, making Y/N guffaw as she put her head on his shoulder.

Harry’s laughter died down as his limbs went stiff. He didn’t want to move, afraid that she might pull away and he might never have another moment like this.

“Which one is yours?” Ana asked as she and Christian walked into his garage.

“All of them,” the guy answered, making Harry cackle.

“That’s gonna be me one day,” he said and nodded his head towards the screen. “I’m gonna be a sexy boss who owns ten expensive cars and a place like that. Minus the sex dungeon, of course.”

“I could see you having a sex dungeon though.”

“I already have one.” He turned around and pointed to his bedroom. “Wanna see it after the movie?”

The joke got him a smack on the leg as Y/N shot him a glare. “Anyway,” she breathed. “If you’re gonna be that rich, at least give me a ride in one of your expensive cars.”

“Would I still be hanging out with you then?” He playfully arched an eyebrow, making her laugh softly.

“Oh, you would beg to hang out with me,” she said with her head still on his shoulder. At this point, neither of them was paying attention to the movie.

“Wanna hear how I imagine our future?”

Harry pursed his lips as he gave a nod. “Sure, tell me.”

“Okay.” She jolted right up and turned to face him, putting her elbow on the backrest and her head against her knuckles. “It’s ten years from now, yeah? Say you’re a CEO living in a big mansion. You’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted, but you are so lonely because you don’t wanna fall in love and settle down.”

Harry rolled his eyes, laughing slightly as she gripped his shoulder to make sure he was still listening.

“One day, while walking around your rose garden, you start thinking about the good old days when you were in college and shared a flat with a lovely girl. Oh, where is she now? you wonder. So you hire a spy to look for me and find out I’m living in the suburbs with a husband, two kids and a puppy...or a cat.”

“Boringggg.”

“Shut up!”

“Do go on though. What happens next?” he asked, putting his hand on her knee.

Smiling, she went on, “you decide to come visit me on a beautiful Sunday. I open the door and I’m so surprised to see you. ‘Hey, do you remember the night we decided to watch that awful sex movie,’ asks lonely thirty-year-old Harry. ‘How could I forget? I’ve been having nightmares since,’ says beautiful married Y/N.”

Harry tossed his head back and laughed as Y/N tried to hold it in so she could finish her story.

“Then you say to me, ‘that night, you told me to give you a ride in one of my expensive cars if I ever got rich. So would you like to go somewhere with me on this fine Sunday morning?’ , ‘Oh, I really want to,’ I say to you, ‘but my husband would be jealous so I have to turn you down.’ Then we say goodbye and I close the door, leaving you standing outside for a long moment. You walk back to your expensive car as it starts raining, and suddenly, you feel sad.”

“Sad?”

“Yeah. Because you have finally realised that, you’ve been in love with me this whole time!” Y/N exclaimed as she grabbed his shoulders. “Unfortunately, it’s already too late because I’m now happy with my husband, two children, and a dog...or a cat. The end!”

When Harry said nothing, she lightly elbowed him. He looked down as she looked up, her cheek pressing against his shoulder as she gave him a pout. “No applause?”

“Your story sucks,” he said, smirking as she puckered up her lips and turned back to the TV.

“Oh no, we forgot to pause!” she said.

“Well, we already know what’s gonna happen so I don’t think we’ve missed much.”

“You’re probably right.”

As she continued watching the movie, he was watching her. Thanks to her stupid story, now he had to worry about his future ten years from now. How could he compete with her husband, two children and a dog, or a cat?! And the nice vision with ten cars and the big mansion didn’t sound so nice anymore since he knew for sure she wouldn’t be in it. His heart already broke for thirty-year-old Harry.

Maybe he would stay up all night to blame himself for what was yet to happen. But now he had a bigger problem to deal with.

As they reached the final sex scene, Harry was embarrassingly and painfully hard. Thank God for the pillow that sat conveniently right beside him. He put it on his lap to hide his hardon while already thinking about jerking off in the shower once this movie had ended.

He reluctantly checked on Y/N. She was sitting so still, but he could see right through her neutral expression that she desperately wanted to touch herself. After a moment, she started rubbing her thighs together, and Harry’s jaw went slack as he suddenly forgot how to breathe.

Fuck, this is better than porn. I’m going to hell, he thought while stroking his thigh with one hand, the other still resting on her leg.

He wasn’t sure if he was so horny his mind was playing tricks on him or her skin was really burning under her pyjamas. He could feel it, and now he was too awkward to remove his hand from her leg. He kept watching her face as the moaning and the music from the movie turned his face scarlet. When she pressed her lips together, he couldn’t help it anymore.

“To be honest,” he spoke with a voice full of breath, “I’ve always wondered if this was the kind of content you’d masturbate to, since...since you don’t watch porn.”

Y/N swallowed hard but she didn’t seem offended at all. Her eyelids fluttered as she gave him a bashful smile. “I...do watch porn.”

“Oh?” Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Yeah, I’ve just...never had an orgasm by myself…”

Holy shit. Harry’s mouth fell open as he gripped his knee. He hoped he wasn’t being too obvious? Shit, was he being too obvious?

He swallowed hard, fixing the pillow on his lap and slightly grinding his hips against it to get some friction on his crotch area. His head fell back to the backrest of the couch as Y/N pulled away and did the same. They were looking at each other, their faces so close Harry couldn’t focus on anything else.

Half of him wanted to excuse himself and went to the bathroom to jerk off, the other half wanted to stay and finish the movie with her. This was the most intimate moment they had ever shared and he certainly couldn’t let it go to waste.

“You okay?” she asked and he gave a nod, licking his lip.

“Not gonna lie, these sex scenes got me quite worked up.”

“Oh…” Y/N chewed on the corner of her mouth as she shifted around a bit. “Um...are you…you know...”

“No, am I what?” He smirked. Of course he knew what her question would be. He was a bit embarrassed that she could already tell from looking at his face, still he had to hear her say it.

“Y-You…” she stuttered, “you know what.”

“No, Y/N, I’m afraid I don’t.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, and with a bit of hesitation, pointed to his lap. “That.”

“That? What’s that?” He sounded amused. “I don’t get it. Care to elaborate?”

“Forget it.” She waved him off. But did she really think he would let her get away with this?

“You want to know if I’m hard?”

The question made Y/N groan as she buried her face into her palms. She didn’t deny or confirm it, but he already knew he was right.

“You’re wet, aren’t you?”

“Stop!”

“Y/N.”

“What?” She huffed as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her hands away from her face. She gave him only one quick glance before looking back at the screen, but he knew she was too flustered to continue watching.

“Promise me you’ll try tonight,” he blurted, unsure why he’d said it, but he didn’t regret it for the look on her face was priceless.

“Try what?”

“Make yourself come.”

Y/N gripped the hem of her shirt, her eyes went round. “Stop messing with me. It’s not funny anymore!”

“I’m serious. Promise me you’ll try,” his voice was low and heavy as if he was out of breath. “Don’t think too much. Just...get yourself wet and feel it out, love. You should know your body better than anyone, right?”

Y/N was quiet for a moment, which made Harry think he might have crossed the line and she would definitely get mad at him. But then she shifted her eyes to her lap and finally gave a nod.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she softly confirmed. That one word alone could make him bust his nuts right on that couch. He was glad it didn’t happen, still, he wished he could tell her what she was doing to him.

As soon as the credits started to scroll, Y/N turned off the TV, wished him goodnight and fled straight to her room like a scared little deer.

Harry heaved a sigh of relief. He got up, turned the lights off and hurried to the shower to take care of his big problem. He didn’t know if she kept her promise and touched herself before going to bed, but he assumed that she did, and came so hard to those filthy thoughts that his legs felt like jelly once it was over.

As he rested his forehead against the shower wall and let the warm water run down his back, he shut his eyes and told himself to stick to PG movies from now on.

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