#like isn’t this really just a fantasy about family that accepts me?

[explanationpoint]

..

[stardew-shitposterino]

The Bachelors and how they’d react if you asked them to start a family

Same old same old. This post is inspired by @babiebom 's post about the bachelor/ettes and how many kids they’d have :3 I’m not really a person who is too keen on children and being a housewife, but I can’t deny that the thought of a picture perfect family does warm my heart, girlies. Enjoy 💅🏻🍼

Some answers are gender specific. I hope to anyone playing the game as a same sex couple that you can look past that 🙏🏻

Sam:

-he’d be boots the house down in total shock

-don’t get it twisted, he is ecstatic, but damn he didn’t expect it to be this soon

-of course he is excited about every life stage of his potential little ones, but he can’t wait to have someone he can teach how to skate

-„really? A-and you’re not joking or anything? RAD!“

-maybe he is a bit too excited as he‘s definitely ripping his pants off his body as soon as the message sunk in

-„Oh you didn’t mean we should start it right now? Sorry my bad 😅“

Sebastian:

-he is happy but can’t really show it

-anxiety is kicking hard rn

-it’s not that he doesn’t want this, but he has so many worries, after all he had lived through himself

-he definitely needs some time to think about this

-„Y/N, I’d really love to have this with you one day, but please give me time to adjust to this. It’s a lot for me to process.“

-he will eventually open up about it and you agree on not rushing things. If you’re an opposite sex couple, you agree on starting a family once you’re pregnant. No planning, just living and if it happens, it happens (it probably happened after like 2 months after you had the talk lol)

Elliott:

-„Heavens, Love! What wonderful news. I’ve been waiting for this moment. This will be the start of our legacy!“ (excuse me bruuuhh this is how I imagine him talk lol)

-he had heart-shaped eyes if you haven’t noticed

-as much as he loves the romance and allure of being a childless couple with a world to their feet, he can’t kick the idea of being a wholesome dad raising a curious child with his wonderful partner

-he emphasises on not rushing things as he doesn’t want you to feel pressure. He knows how stressful your job is so he doesn’t want you to feel overwhelmed though you proposed that idea first

-you can bet your ass you went to bed after that talk 👀 WHO SAID THAT 🤨

Harvey:

-he is a blushy mess thank you and amen

-he‘s so anxious but also so excited

-no way you actually proposed this to him. He actually accepted his fate as a childless bachelor

-but here he is, finally getting the happy little family he always wanted

-but it isn’t smooth sailing with him, oh no. You can bet your ass he has to calculate everything through before he feels comfortable enough starting to bring this wish to reality

-you know, you earn a shit ton of money but he is anxious ok. He needs to KNOW the child won’t end up homeless with nothing to wear once it’s here

-“Oh this is all so new and, I-I don’t even know how to say it without it sounding wrong. I just can’t grasp that this is happening. Pinch me so I know I’m not dreaming”

-you didn’t sleep with each other that day but a make-out sess was in it. A wholesome one to say the least. This man is wholesome in my books 📕

Shane:

-the only thing missing here is that he fainted and fell to the floor after you popped the question

-say WHAT NOW?!

-no way. He probably heard it wrong. You didn’t just ask HIM to have YOUR children… no wait the other way around. This is what that question did to his brain lol

-or generally having kids together. He isn’t opposed to adopting because he fears the kids will inherit his messed up brain so taking in kids that are in need of a nice, welcoming home doesn’t sound bad either

-but no wait wait back to the topic; he’s a MESS

-he always wanted children and a family in general, the very boring ass white picket fence fantasy is what he longed for but kind of accepted that it’s something he cannot have. Well guess what…HE CAN

-“wait…did you- and you mean with me? Or is there someone else I should know about? Ok sorry bad joke. But you mean it?! Really? A little sibling for Jas🥹”

-just know this burly man started crying a river of joy tears. But once the tears dried and it kicked in 👀

-“ok if we want this to work out we gotta get to business 😎”

Alex:

-like Shane, he waited for this moment

-just he isn’t anxious like some of the others, he straight up jumps for joy lol

-“BABE NO WAY! I’ve been waiting for this!”

-he is a happy crier tho. Expect him to cry a little but in a good way

-but also expect him to propose the question of having a lot more kids in the future. He wants a football team of kids. But the amount is still negotiable of course (you gave him the “spouse stare” which made him go down a notch lol)

- he will babble about what gender the first kid might be, what he’d do with them depending on it and how he’d get them the smallest grid ball jerseys you’ll ever see because “LOOK THEY ARE SO TINY”

-like some of the others, he might be a bit too eager to start the baby project. Even if you can’t conceive yourself, he will live out that fantasy. You prepared yourself for this because it was very much predictable lol

[paperstorm]

Thank you for the tags @heartstringsduet @bonheur-cafe @honeybee-taskforce @thisbuildinghasfeelings @strandnreyes @ironheartwriter @nisbanisba @orchidscript @lemonlyman-dotcom @whatsintheboxmh and @nancys-braids!

“What are you so smiley about?” TK asks, tapping his finger into the dimple on Carlos’s left cheek.

“Nothing. Just a good night.” Carlos kisses TK’s nose, smiling even broader as TK raises an eyebrow at him.

“Okay,” TK says, sounding very much like he isn’t buying it but he lets it drop. He moves over, settling against Carlos’s chest.

Carlos wraps his arms around him; they rearrange briefly until they can find a comfortable spot. It doesn’t take long; they’re practiced at this by now. His body knows instinctively exactly where TK’s fits against him. For a moment, Carlos just draws his nose through TK’s soft hair, vanilla and musk and sweat filling his lungs. He inhales slowly, breathing in his smell and letting his warmth soak down through Carlos’s bones. TK’s forefinger traces an idle pattern on Carlos’s bare chest. His foot moves, toes lightly brushing against Carlos’s ankle under the blankets.

Because he didn’t ask again – didn’t push, didn’t make Carlos say anything, didn’t pester him to open up – Carlos does. He wonders if it will ever just feel easy. There are still always nagging voices, telling him that he needs to be stronger, manlier, more stoic and less needy. There are still things he doesn’t talk about, because he doesn’t know how to say them out loud and he’s so desperate for TK to love him despite all his shortcomings. But it seems to get better, degree by degree, all the time. Carlos has never felt as safe as he does with this man, and its so many miles beyond the best he could have hoped for in his wildest fantasies before he met the person cuddled in his arms.

“I’m really happy, lately,” he says softly.

“You are?” TK asks, in a voice that’s small but sounds achingly hopeful.

“Mhm.” Carlos kisses his hair. He pushes past the tiny tremor of nerves in his stomach to continue. “I never really thought I’d have … any of this. Someone like you. Friends that feel like family. People in my life who accept me.”

“I know it’s been a struggle.” TK strokes his knuckles over Carlos’s sternum, thumb finding the cross and pressing it gently into Carlos’s skin.

“It has,” Carlos agrees. “But you … you make everything okay, on days when it’s not. And on days like today that are already good, you make everything … amazing.”

TK tilts his chin up so he can press a soft, lingering kiss to Carlos’s neck.

“I just really, really love you,” Carlos whispers emotionally into his forehead, lips catching on his skin.

“I love you so much, baby,” TK murmurs in response, and Carlos believes him.

Tagging @theghostofashton @birdclowns @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@carlos-in-glasses @actual-sleeping-beauty @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @heartstringduet

@tailoredshirt @goodways @alrightbuckaroo @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry

@liminalmemories21 @nancys-braids @chaotictarlos @lemonlyman-dotcom @whatsintheboxmh

@inkweedandlizards @bonheur-cafe @reasonandfaithinharmony @thebumblecee @never-blooms

@sanjuwrites @orchidscript @jesuisici33 @kiwichaeng @honeybee-taskforce

@fifthrideroftheapocalypse @fitzherbertssmolder @butchreyes @just-inside-her @firstprince-history-huh

@captain-gillian @tellmegoodbye @anactualcaseofthetruth @ironheartwriter @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@ditheringmind

Want to be added or removed from the list? Lmk

[raisedbythetv89]

I just started watching White Collar for the first time and a realization about most male written and directed media smacked me DIRECTLY in the face which is that SO MUCH media written by a for men is genuinely just male nerd self insert, non-canon compliant, AU fan fiction??????

Like them writing and creating stories is just “ok so these guys are soooo smooth and well dressed and women just flock to them at every turn and they can get away with anything and everyone believes and supports them when they do mess up and everyone thinks they’re sooooo brilliant”

This media isn’t just portraying women “for the male gaze” it’s EVERYTHING. Everything in these stories is supporting and uplifting mens’ delusions about who they are, how they’re perceived, and how they should expect to be treated. Which is incredibly ironic because anytime media portrays women or the world in the female gaze in a more “in my ideal world things would be like this” instead of portraying us as nothing but weak, broken, unloved, traumatized, victims OR one dimensional sex symbols with no needs or emotions they’re screaming, crying, throwing up about how stupid and unrealistic the story is….

This explains SO MUCH about how male characters are handled in shows like Veronica Mars and Buffy. Even though they’re shows staring women all the “good guys” get the delusional self insert, y/n, AU fan fic treatment (Buffy still wants Angel in season 3 and Riley in season 6 even after everything they did and Xander is CONSTANTLY forgiven for all the atrocious shit he says and does and is wanted by all women besides Buffy. Veronica forgiving Duncan and getting back together with him and even CONSIDERING Piz could truly only be born from men being delusional AS FUCK. Writing how they want men to be treated by women rather than being based in reality and the woman having even an ounce of self respect.)

Which is why the “bad boys”, Logan and Spike are such better characters. They’re so much more realistic, they get held accountable by the women in their lives, have better growth and are just way more appealing and attractive because they’re not the walking embodiment of what MEN want men to be treated and act like.

Oh god this feels like such cursed knowledge to have like it’s important to see this media for what it really is but now watching it feels that much yuckier like finding the porn of someone you DO NOT LIKE but like their emotional porn “this is what life would be like in my fantasies” and they’re the fantasies of the grossest men alive 😭😭😭😭😭

Also it shows their emotional maturity like all of these things are what 13 year old boys fantasize about not actual mature, grown men….

Also just realized this is why the Star Wars sequels were so hated. It wasn’t just Rey being powerful and loved by her found family and Kylo. It was that the movies showed the reality of men like Kylo. They destroyed the male fantasy Darth Vader created. They aren’t super cool, powerful badasses. They’re extremely sad, broken, temper tantrum throwing lost little boys who just want love and acceptance but have lost the ability to accept it because of the dark side (aka the patriarchy) which is the reality and that made me SOOOOO ANGRY lololololololol and this is why Joss Whedon THOUGHT making Spike into a sad pathetic mama’s boy of a poet would make the audience not like him because that DOES work on misogynistic men who enjoy the male gaze but does NOT work and only humanizes and makes Spike even more complex and lovable to the female gaze 💀💀💀💀 oh good lord

[sandyferal]

I genuinely think Tootie’s behavior towards Timmy would improve dramatically like. The second Vicky moves out of the family house. It’s clear that Vicky is severely inhibiting Tootie’s ability to have friends, much less have them come over and spend time with her. And it feels likely that the main reason her crush turned into an obsession is because Timmy had shown himself to be the only person willing to be nice to her. It doesn’t justify the way she acted, but let’s be real it’s not like she has good role models to teach her better.

I feel like once Vicky isn’t around to ruin her social life she’ll be able to have other friends over and like, have someone around to seek comfort in that isn’t her crush. She could actually start growing as a person. Which could happen as soon as like, 1-3 years after the events of the show?

I also really like the idea that even if she isn’t obsessed with Timmy, that Crimson Chin doll he gave her holds a special place in her heart because like. As a sentimental person I gotta be real something like that would never not be sweet to me. I’d thinking about it for years.

And I like to think because of that she eventually got into comics and began to obsess over those instead. Maybe Crimson Chin wasn’t her thing! But she seems to enjoy fantasies and I think it would be so fun to see her find her own interests. If we’re getting into specifics, I get the vibes that she would be into comics following heroes like Superman, or when villainesses get their own comics like Harley or Poison Ivy. Obviously not those exact characters but those are the vibes I get. Not to say I don’t think she wouldn’t still have girly interests and love romance and stuff but man.

Additionally. I fucking hate Tootie from the live action movies. They glorify her as hot and morally perfect while simultaneously treating how she was as a child as weird and ugly. Man people grow up and sometimes get less weird but like some people are just dorks. Tootie is a dork. Keep her as an overenthusiastic, emotional, glasses-wearing, strong-willed dork. You cowards. Women don’t need to be “perfect” to be accepted and loved.

If Tootie and Timmy did eventually get together, personally I think it would be good if Timmy just. Didn’t see her for a while. She gets more into spending time with actual friends, and doesn’t talk to Timmy as much until they meet up again a couple years later at an afterschool comic club/comic con, or something of that sort. I think she deserves to be her own person before she actually ends up with anyone.

And while I normally don’t like “ships” (I say that in quotes bc I don’t particularly feel compelled to ship these children at all) that involves a party who clearly isn’t interested… they’re also. Children. It’s not that serious. They really shouldn’t be together at this age anyway, and they probably will change as they get older.

It doesn’t feel that big of a deal to imagine Tootie and Timmy might be together as adults despite their current dynamic, because the main issues are:

a) Tootie doesn’t respect boundaries and is emotionally unstable, which are both likely caused by isolation, lack of good role models, and being too young to understand things. Very likely she grows out of it.

b) Timmy not liking her. Which, in the context of the early episodes about her, is actually something you could debate?

To clarify, he obviously isn’t interested in a romantic relationship most of the time, but at the same time he clearly has some care for her. The argument could be made that it is because of his fairies influencing him, yes, or it’s just pity. But like. There are episodes where he legit just does something because he wants her to be happy. And he indicates he doesn’t really dislike her or hate spending time with her. He, at least in theory, is actually willing to spend time with her. (“I would’ve gone to her dumb party if she’d invited me.”) That’s not even mentioning how he. Like. Just straight up chose to stick himself with a love arrow because he wanted to enjoy spending a Valentine’s Day with her. Which is a whole thing that could be analyzed but not the point.

If anything his actions point to a young boy who at the moment, only feels attraction through the lense of someone being “pretty” instead of someone they can genuinely get along with. He sees Tootie as weird and embodying the qualities boys find “icky” in girls. It would make sense if he grew out of that.

Although at the end of the day I don’t really care who these kids end up with, I JUST want Tootie to be able to have a happy and healthy social life/relationship with a partner when she grows up, and I hate the idea of completely stripping away her “not pretty” qualities before she’s allowed to have that. She’s a fucking lovely little girl who deserves to be herself, and to be weird, and to be happy. That’s my fucking daughter!!! I love her so much!!!

[shorthaltsjester]

honestly as someone who has been in various fandoms for a long time now and who also watched campaigns 1 and 2 without really getting into cr fandom it isn’t Shocking but it is annoying how often people will look at the stories that cr tells and make absolute claims about the goodness of characters (goodness here meaning Moral goodness, not I Like This character and think it’s well made goodness, which is a separate post entirely). particularly regarding the gods and pc parents. and honestly like, typically in fandom i get annoyed by people bending over backwards to woobify characters who are active in their choice to be unkind and generally horrible but in the cr fandom it’s tended to be the opposite where like. a character is just. a human being (in the sense of being Average not in the sense of Fantasy Races) and huge swaths of the fandom act like that’s the most unforgivable thing someone can be. and maybe it is, but one of the most powerful things about fiction is that it tends to encourage people to expand their empathy and exercise their ability to forgive. because fictional characters, no matter how much people like to project onto them, tend not to cause anyone harm, so it’s easier to learn how to forgive and accept things you don’t understand without also villainizing them.

this is mostly prompted by the recent 4sd and the fact that matt’s response to what’s up with the dawnfather was a very insistent “He’s not bad!” and also seeing the online reaction to the mention that the matron would punish vax for saving keyleth that has taken the as usual completely bonkers tune that the raven queen (Who When Met With A Brother Asking A God To Kill Him In Favour Of His Sister, Gave Him A Job, and Later Extended His Natural Life To Help Protect The World And Have More Time With His Family And Allowed Him To Visit His Sister On Her Wedding Day) is a horrible evil abusive bitch of a god. like. can we grow up? can we understand the world and fiction that represents the multitudes of experiences found in it in shades of grey? is that too much to ask (i know it is).

but also specifically the like Extremely Adamant way that both matt and laura were like no no no no relvin isn’t Horirble he’s average. he’s not good he’s just. he’s A father, not a good or bad one. and on the surface it’s hilarious that they’re both so like. enthused to point out that he’s Average because typically when people respond to a claim of a characters badness with the level of immediacy they both did it’s a rebuttal of “no, this character is good actually.” but it was just to affirm that relvin did harm imogen, but not because there’s some aspect of his character that is inherently cruel or especially Bad. and like. yeah actually. yeah you should react like that to a claim that this average person who Has hurt someone, the way that nearly every single person has hurt someone in a way they cannot repair, with immediacy to say this person is a Person and thus imperfect and capable of great harm, but that isn’t some all encompassing judgment on their morality or capability to also do good or be fine.

anyway this is kinda just a rant post but also is just me saying i’m very grateful that when surrounded by a fandom that tends to paint characters as Good or Bad and even while using a game that can encourage that with its alignment system, cr has always told stories that see goodness as a persistent choice that might sometimes falter and that can be chosen even after a lifetime of Badness. i can’t remember exactly what the quote was so forgive me if it’s incorrect but when jester is talking to caleb after he claims he’s not a very good person and she says “good people do bad things sometimes. even bad people do good things.” that’s it! that’s one of the most consistent themes across campaigns. and yet.

[karouvas]

40 + each Gangsey member

40. Favorite book

but I found actually assigning each of them a favorite book too hard so instead I wrote up headcanons about their general tastes, maybe a couple things they would like and what I would recommend for them to read!

. Blue — well we know that she and Maura would read separate books together side by side at night and I have my headcanon based on that little mermaid line about Persephone reading fairy tales to her in their original forms. In my head I think Blue generally likes reading nonfiction about ecology and other things related to her interests, but also likes reading collections of short stories and poems (she has that poem she copied to the ceiling of her room but we never learn which one it is but based on that saying she likes poetry). I think she reads novels less because they’re less suited to her attention span (I see her as the type of person who likes reading but wouldn’t call herself *a reader* if asked because she feels she isn’t traditionally smart enough or quick enough with it and it takes a lot for her to buy into a story in a way if it’s a novel whereas with nonfiction books and articles she knows it’s about something specific that she likes such as nature or animals) than short form like stories or articles, and it’s rarer for her to find ones she really likes but like the few novels that she truly loves would be really impactful to her. Oh and the short stories and novels she is very into would be fantasy, she’d be like I’ll read total nonfiction or total fantasy anything in between is useless to me. 

 If I was giving her recommendations I’d want her to read Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie Mclemore in terms of novels but really generally her books, and The Lady of the House of Love by Angela Carter for a short story. And I’d rec her some Maya Angelou and Fatimah Asghar poems but come to think of it maybe Where The Caged Bird Sings would be her favorite book I could see it.. 

Adam — also reads a lot of nonfiction compared to fiction, but fiction he does read I think is probably either mysteries or classics. There might be an occasional thing he likes that’s ostensibly a tad too whimsical to be *Adam-like* as he would define it (since he often is drawn into those things and people despite himself) but in general realism over fantasy. I see a younger Adam, in what little time he has outside of working and managing school and his parents and all that entails, spending as much time as possible in the library since it means peace and quiet and escape and also knowledge which he is hungry for independently. I like to think he read like, Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew in terms of books for his age range but also probably some like adult psychological thrillers. 

Obviously if I got to recommend any book to him I’d pick Mr. Ripley just to clown on him, I don’t think he’d love it though I think he’d have a lot of ambivalent feelings about it and maybe say that he hated it but think about passages all the time afterwards. For a book he’d actually enjoy in the typical sense… maybe Gone Girl, I feel like it hits a sweet spot in being a mysery and a revenge fantasy that are not too on the nose / have several degrees of separation from his life but still has enough elements that he could enjoy the catharsis of said revenge fantasy. I almost said we have always lived in the castle for similar reasons but then I thought that Adam might find the ending horrifying not because Mericatt kills her family that he would enjoy, but because she traps and isolate herself at the end and that’s her happy ending so he wouldn’t find be able to find that a victory if he related to her a bit, seeing as to him a victory needs to involve being accepted by society. 

Gansey — obviously he reads a lot of history and also I think a lot of mythology, primarily Welsh but I think he’d go on pipelines to read about other things a lot when they relate because so much mythology and folklore intersects. He and Blue once they get together probably read these together all the time and her background knowledge of certain things from 300 fox way probably impressive and turns him on a lot… also he and Adam probably read these together a lot and Adam was probably attempting a perfect balancing act between making sure he got to point things out to Gansey and seem smart so he would respect him and orchestrating moments for Gansey to read to him / lecture him in That Voice … anyway. But aside from that I also do think he reads a lot of different types of fiction, in every genre really but fantasy historical and classics would be his favorites I think. He’d love things like The Night Circus, I like the idea of him reading a lot of Emily Dickinson when he was 14 and recreating his death all the time, Tolkein obviously, probably some Sanderson I have mixed feelings there but do think Gansey would be a fan. I try very hard not to be too projection-y with chars in these types of hc things because that can be unfun, but I do think his favorite Jane Austen book is my favorite Jane Austen book which is Emma (I do have an idea for an au where Gansey is Emma and Blue is Knightley and Adam is Harriet but also maybe some of their roles interchange or intersperse with each other anyway..). For books he probably wouldn’t have read that I would recommend to him … I think reading some more low brow stuff might be good for him in a sense, maybe I’d put together a Shadowhunter books reading list for him. I do think if he read TID and TDA back to back it could help him figure out he’s bi and polyamorous. 

Ronan — well in this case I think it’s basically canonical his favorite book is Alice in Wonderland. I think Ronan’s taste in books is probably like he almost never reads but when he does he’s a huge snob about it, both ends of the spectrum. So I think like he loved Frankenstein obviously, and The Iliad. Thus if I was given the opportunity I’d rec him paranormal things he probably hates as a concept but I think he could get obsessed with if given the opportunity, maybe The Demon’s Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan or the Mara Dyer trilogy. The former he’d definitely project onto a lot since the first book is about brothers who aren’t dissimilar from him and Ronan, and then he’d be betrayed when the 2nd and 3rd books are about women. The latter he would say he hated but I know that man would devour them don’t ask me how I just do. 

Henry — going to confess that I haven’t actually read A Separate Piece but I read a fic once where it was his favorite book and that feels so correct I took it as canon from then on. I would recommend him The Dead Queens Club by Hannah Capin. 

Noah — I think would mostly like graphic novels, and I follow one series of graphic novels that I don’t think he would like much (Monstress by Marjorie Liu). Of the other comics I’ve attempted into the other one that I liked enough that I want to continue with at some point was Wicked + the Divine so maybe that.. I think him getting Ronan into it could lead to interesting results too. 

Ty!

[the-crimson]

I’m so obsessed with Bad’s fucked up relationship with Ron and how he talks about/to him depending on the circumstances. I’ll try to organize my thoughts and theories about it all.

Bad said that Ron is a member of the family but it felt to me like saying ur pet is part of the family. Bad cares for Ron because Bad is lonely and broken and needs something, anything to latch onto but that doesn’t mean Bad respects Ron or sees him as anything other than a piece of his plan.

Bad is putting on a performance every time he talks to someone and the mask he wears is different depending on who he’s talking to and what he hopes to gain from the interaction.

When we first saw Bad interact with Ron, he was a tiger pacing the bars of his cage licking his chops at the meat just out of reach. After torturing Ron and getting a present from Forever, he completely flipped the script and became sugary sweet. Giving Ron a bigger and more furnished cell. Bringing him brownies and ice cream and a kitchen full of food. Giving him a fish. But the way Bad speaks and moves when interacting with him is fascinating.

I want to start way back in the beginning and examine what I think Bad’s plan with Ron was. Bad spent a week psychologically torturing Ron before letting a soul vulture tear him to shreds. Then Bad seemingly changes his entire plan on a dime but I think that was the plan the whole time. Break Ron physically and mentally then drown him in gifts and force this weird family dynamic onto him to warp his perception of the situation. Make it so Ron will want to give Bad what he wants because Ron knows the alternative and is afraid of breaking the fantasy Bad has created.

Bad will act with a saccharine sweetness and almost pathetic desperation to make Ron happy and comfortable one moment then come down to the basement with a mania and malicious grin to talk about his day. He’ll bring a much more morally sound friend to meet Ron and spend the entire interaction watching them like a vulture eyeing a sickly animal. He says they are like family but answers Baghera’s questions for him and treats him less like a person and more like a beast of burden. Important and valuable because of what Ron offers him (information and emotional attachment) but less important than the bigger picture.

Every time Bad leaves the basement or a social interaction, when he isn’t performing, he is just silent and moves with slow but methodical purpose. I do think he is attached to Ron but not nearly as much as he says in front of Ron or to Baghera. He wants Baghera to think he’s attached so she’ll work with Bad easier. We know Bad is manipulating Baghera and Forever and I think Bad’s attachment to Ron is part of his manipulation of Baghera.

Ron has given Bad pretty much everything he can and has become a liability so Bad needs to get rid of him. That’s where Baghera comes in. Ron sees Bad as sad and pathetic and broken which has allowed him to forgive Bad and will make him accept going with Baghera to live freely somewhere away from the federation. Baghera sees Bad’s attachment to Ron and it makes Bad look sad and pathetic and lost. He made a mistake and he needs Baghera to help him fix it.

Meanwhile we the audience know Bad fully intends on kidnapping Fred and is actively immolating many of his relationships. He doesn’t want to fix this “mistake” he wants to dump Ron into her care because he knows she’s a better person than him and she’ll take care of and protect Ron.

Idk I might be way off course here but that how I’ve interpreted the situation so far XD todays stream might change my mind but this is where I’m at now lol maybe bbh really is just this pathetic and broken but his other actions haven’t convinced me of that yet

[icantthinkofanythingcool3]

Sessions

This is probably going to be only for a very niche part of the internet, but I'm obsessed with Bones again at the moment so here ya go.

Agent Y/n is an FBI agent that occasionally works with Booth, Bones, and the team. She has become good friends with Sweets, and Angela. After an extra brutal case that involved a serial killer and an intense fixation on Agent Y/n herself, Y/n needs mandated counseling from her favorite psychologist. The following are the sessions that document the beginning of something more than a professional or even friendly relationship.  

Session 1

“For the record, I think this is totally unnecessary.” Y/n sighed. 

“I do not agree. You’ve been through a traumatizing experience.” 

“How is this any more traumatizing than the events I witness on a day-to-day basis. This is literally my job Lance.” 

“It’s not everyday that a killer is specifically targeting you y/n, so, once again, I disagree. Plus it’s mandated by the FBI, so you don’t really have a choice.” Lance said matter of factly, “I’ll take your extreme eye roll as acceptance. You know some people say that your eyes could get stuck that way.” 

“Shut up and do your psycho shit.” 

“There’s nothing for me to do, we just need to talk. We talk all the time, what’s the problem now?” 

“We talk as friends, this is not us talking as friends Lance, this is some bullshit test to see if I’m still capable of doing my job. I don’t think it’s fair to me to think that just because some asshole murderer decided to set his sights on me means that I suddenly don’t have the ability to do my damn job anymore!” 

“Y/N that’s, well that’s actually an accurate depiction so I can’t debate that. But I want you to understand it’s not me personally that feels like that. It’s the men upstairs, as one would say, you can still talk to me.” 

“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” Y/n smirked at him

“Well, if I thought this could actually be a problem I absolutely would have suggested that you go to a different psychologist, but I don’t think it’s that kind of problem. I still think you need to talk to someone though.” 

“Ehh, I think we need to talk more about how you’re totally showing favoritism here.”

“Let’s talk about that after we talk about you, yeah?”

 “If you insist, Dr. Sweets.”

Session 2 “How many more of these do we have to do?” Y/n complained. 

“This is only session number two y/n, I think you know it’s going to take more than that. I would like to discuss how you’re feeling now. It’s been exactly 10 days since he was caught.” 

“Well, I would still like to talk about how you’re showing immense favoritism by seeing me as a patient since we’re quote, unquote friends.”

“Woah, woah, now that makes it seem like you don’t think we’re friends.” 

“Now, I didn’t say that, but I would like to dissect why that was your immediate thought.” 

“Oh, so now you’re the psychologist, huh?” Lance asked, quietly laughing at y/n. 

“Yes, you know what. I think I would like to switch professions…would you mind switching seats with me? I think it’s time for me to take over this session.”  

“You know what, sure. I think this will be good for my analysis. Go ahead there y/n, take your new seat.”

 “So Mr. Sweets-”

“Woah, woah so in your fantasy my degrees suddenly fail to exist?”

“Shhhhhh, we’re doing things my way now, remember? So, Mr. Sweets, why is it that you seem to be showing me favoritism?” 

“Well technically, how can I be showing favoritism if, in this fantasy, you have taken away my degrees therefore I would have no-”

“Lance!!!!! You are not making this fun for me!!!! Can you stop with your logic please and just answer my question?! Why are you avoiding the answer?” Y/n said half joking, but also half annoyed at him for not letting her have any fun. 

“Okay, okay. Well, Dr. y/l/n, I suppose I show you favoritism because you’re one of my favorite people. Some may say, as I’m sure you know with your vast knowledge of psychology and all the varying fields, that I’ve been creating my own family since my parents died. I consider you one of those people.”

 “Wow…that’s. I…don’t….that’s probably one of the most honest and sweetest things anyone has ever said to me… As a friend, not as a psychologist of my vast knowledge, will you tell me about them? About your parents?” 

“Of course I will.” 

Session 3

“Y/n are we finally going to discuss what we’re here to talk about?” 

“I don’t wanna.” 

“Do you think that maybe it means something that you don’t want to talk about it?” 

“No, I just don’t wanna.”

“Y/n, come on. The longer this drags out the longer we have to keep doing these sessions.” 

“Well maybe I like the sessions and I don’t want them to end.” 

“Well, you know they don’t have to, right? Just because we speak about what we have to discuss doesn't mean that we have to stop having the sessions, just that I can finally sign off on the papers your bosses are asking for. If we can get through this we can talk about whatever you want in the next session, maybe even me again if that’s what you would prefer.” 

“Fine, but I just want to say that I am doing this entirely against my will…”

“I will definitely put that on the record.” 

“I guess what I feel is…not safe. I don’t feel safe at my house, I don’t feel safe at work, I don’t feel safe in the field. Honestly, the only place I feel safe is here. I guess that’s why I don’t want these meetings to end. See there goes my vast psychological knowledge at work.”

There was a moment of silence where y/n said, “See this is exactly why I didn’t want to say anything. Your face looks sad, like you’re pitying me right now.” 

“I’m not pitying you, y/n. That’s not what I'm feeling right now. I’m feeling sad for someone I care about because they just told me they don’t feel safe anymore. I’m frustrated that you can’t function in life without being scared. I’m angry that some maniac decided to set his sights on you and now you’re not who you were before. I’m just pissed, I’m…I don’t even know.” 

“I think you’re more angry than I am. Can’t you take some comfort that I find some solace in here with you?” 

“Well, I mean yeah, but it doesn’t make me any less angry. Why…why do you feel safe here?”

“I don’t know. I mean I guess because well first off, you obviously. Talking to you makes me feel like I don’t have anything to worry about. It’s also a small office, only one access point, so logically I have a better chance of protecting myself.” 

“I don’t like that, but I can understand it. I wish that you didn’t have to feel like that.” Lance said, putting his notebook down and moving next to y/n on the couch. 

“Not very psychologist-like of you, Lance.”

“You’re right, but very friend-like of me. That’s what’s more important right now I believe.” 

“Well thank you for being my friend. I…I…uhh really appreciate that. I appreciate you.” 

Session 4

“Sooooooo, you said we can talk about you this time, right??”

“If you’re so inclined, I still think we should talk about you though.” 

“I just think that you want to avoid being psycho-analyzed like you do to everyone who sits on this couch.” 

“Hey, that’s not fair.” 

“I think it’s very fair. Anywhooooooooo, tell me more about what you were like as a kid.”

“Oh so now you’re going to delve into my childhood trauma?” 

“I mean yes that was the plan, but you seem to have uncovered it way too soon. See no fun.” 

“I already told you about growing up with my parents. Dissect from that what you will.”

“Well yeah, but what were you like, 6 or 7? What about before that? And what about your biological parents? Did you know anything about them?” 

“It’s not really something I want to get into y/n.” 

“Come on, you show me yours, I’ll show you mine. We can go question for question.” 

“Y/n. I said I do not want to talk about it! THAT’S IT.” Lance said angrily. 

“Lance, I’m sorry, I didn’t know how serious it was. Really, I’m sorry for pushing. I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

“No, y/n, it’s me. God, I’m such an asshole. It just…well it wasn’t a good time before I got adopted by my parents. I didn’t feel safe before them. That’s…that’s all I want to say.” 

“Understood. I’m sorry that you had to go through that, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to hurt you now, let alone little 6 year old you with a sweet little baby face. You know your last name actually fits you very well, kinda like fate if you ask me.” 

“That’s very kind y/n. Thank you, I appreciate it.” Sweets smiled at y/n. 

“Just being a friend, nothing to thank me for here.” 

Session 5

“So, I’ve come to a conclusion.” Y/n said, smiling cheekily to Lance.

“Oh, and what’s that?” 

“You’re literally being paid to sit here and talk to your best friend. That’s like a totally cushy gig.” 

“Oh, you’re my best friend?”

“I mean yes. Clearly, we are definitely best friends. It's, like, completely obvious.” 

“I was unaware so thank you for informing me of that.” 

“Lance, come on. You totally know we’re best friends. Don’t try to hide it. You have no reason to be embarrassed, you know, I’m a pretty cool person.” 

“Well, you are a pretty cool person. And like I said previously, I do consider you part of the family I’ve made. I guess it is obvious we’re best friends, silly me for not recognizing it earlier.” 

“I like talking to you Lance.”

“I like talking to you as well, y/n.” 

Session 6

“Y/n.” 

“Woah, you sound serious.”

“I am, there’s something I have to talk to you about.” 

“Okay, I’m listening.” 

“I can’t be your psychologist anymore.” 

“Woah, wait, what. What do you mean? Where is this coming from? Lance, did I do something? Say something?”

“Y/n, it’s not about you. Well, I mean not like that. It’s nothing that you did, or said. I…I just. Well you were right before, this is kind of a conflict of interest. Professionally, I shouldn’t be seeing you. It’s not right.” 

“Oh, I, uh…thanks for proving me right I guess. Um…I think I’m going to go now.” 

“No! Wait! I know you feel safe here, with me, in this room. We can still talk here, we can still have these conversations. I don’t want to take that away from you. I’m just recommending that I cannot adequately finish clearing you from what happened.”

“I don’t understand what’s changed suddenly. I brought this up weeks ago. I don’t want to go sit in someone else’s office and talk about this shit. I didn’t want to go through this in the first place. Lance, I don’t understand why you would do this. You know how hard this was for me, I can’t believe you would do this.” 

“Y/n, just trust me, it’s for the best.” 

“I don’t trust you right now. This isn’t what is best for me. I can’t believe this, I can’t believe yo-”

Lance cut y/n off, “Y/n I LOVE YOU…I…I am in freaking love with you and that’s why I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to me either.” 

“Lance…I…you…I…” 

“I think you should leave now.”

“Wait, wait, no…I love you too. I’ve been falling for you since the moment I met you.” 

“y/n-”

“I’m serious. All of these sessions just confirmed it more for me. That’s why I felt safe here, with you. You make me feel like I don’t have to worry or be scared anymore.” 

“Y/n, I…you make… you’re-” 

“Just shut up and kiss me already.” Y/n said, already leaning in to place her lips on his.

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Buddie Meta - Sharing Hearts & Breathing Easy

We talk a lot about the heart symbolism with buddie specifically eddie but we don’t talk enough about the breathing/lung symbolism associated with buck.

S5 gave us a ton of loud heart stuff for eddie from the transplant case to the post-panic attack cardiologist visit to buck giving eddie his heart drawing. All matters of the heart. Changes of heart, fear of a broken heart, sharing one’s heart.

S6 gave us lots of heavy breathing/lung symbolism for buck. We actually got a breathing related callback to s3 in s5. In Mayday buck talked to carson about the s3 clot in his lungs. then in s6 during buck’s coma his lungs failed, he couldn’t breathe, and he was placed on ecmo.

Heart symbolism is pretty straightforward. It tends to be associated with feelings, relationships, and meaningful connections with the self and with others. Breathing and lung symbolism is a little different. It tends to be associated with freedom from something restrictive or constraining. Relief, satisfaction, ease and contentment.

Each captures a key part of eddie and buck’s respective character struggles. Eddie has been learning to “let himself feel it” no matter how hard or scary or confusing, to allow himself to reach out and also accept help along the way, to love himself enough to show his traumas, connect, and heal. Buck has been learning to stop holding his breath, to stop waiting on other people to tell him he’s worthy and start discovering his worth for himself, to let go of the pressure to be what others want, need, or expect and just be himself.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the overlap too between the heart and lung symbolism with buddie. At the start of s5 eddie thought he was having a heart attack but it was really a panic attack. He needed to accept his feelings and free himself from the socially/family imposed narrative of who/how he was supposed to be. And he did. At the end of s5 when he and buck were fixing the dry wall in his room we saw that he’d finally come full circle. In s6 during buck’s hospitalization at the start everyone was worried about his heart but then they realized his lungs were the most damaged from the lightning strike. He couldn’t breathe easy, and his entire coma dream was his fantasy of being someone he’s not and being loved for it then realizing he didn’t really want that. Being loved for everything but who you actually are isn’t a dream it’s a nightmare.

The buddie overlap with the heart and lung symbolism really is wild because back in s5 buck was shocked by eddie’s panic attack (aka eddie’s journey to complete self acceptance…which buck sees more in himself than in eddie). Then in s5 when eddie saw buck’s little pre-K heart drawing he was a little surprised/amused. (It was like “bro i see your amazing heart everyday and trust me it’s more than just cute, it’s complex and beautiful.”) then we got s6 eddie being devastated by buck’s breathing problems; his reaction to the ecmo was something else! It was like eddie couldn’t handle buck not being able to see/be himself and accept himself fully and unapologetically. Eddie sees buck’s worth so clearly and he loves him so much so watching him struggle to be at ease with himself was destroying eddie.

On the one hand we have eddie loving buck’s heart and struggling to understand why buck doesn’t feel he can be at ease with himself. And on the other hand we have buck holding eddie on a pedestal as someone mostly who’s at ease with himself from buck’s perspective but then buck struggling to understand why eddie was having such a hard time showing his heart/emotions.

Eddie has come a long long way with showing his heart and buck has made incremental progress towards being comfortable with himself. It drives me bonkers how intertwined their journeys are though because when it comes to their shared trauma they are both still struggling to show it, share it, and be real in the face of it. The reality is that they BOTH have heart and breathing problems when it comes to (shared) trauma and that’s the next phase in their relationship. The fandom has been discussing this point for ages but it’s cool how the show has wrapped it in heart and breathing/lung symbolism.

[ariel26c]

First of all, this is not a protest article. I really wonder when everything will be okay. I might have missed something so I'm asking for advice on this.I know I was in a testing state once, but then I fixed it. 4D is like heaven, I love it and I know it, but it's tiring to have everything only in my mind. I don't want to go back to the beginning, I don't want to keep going back and forth. I dream without the idea of manifesting I enjoy it I love it but when will everything really fall into place?4d creates yes but when does a copy clock time have a damn thing I don't want to wake up in my old life. I want to be in the arms of the man I love. I dreamed that I had a brother. I want to see my brother. I look amazing. I want to see that I impress everyone with my beauty. I want the man I love to tell me he loves me.I want to spend time with my family with whom I get along wonderfully.

I know you really want it but you need to stop focusing on “When is it gonna get here”? All you’re doing is telling yourself you don’t have it. What’s the point of persisting in the new story for a moment and then asking where it is??

This is just how this works. This is how manifesting works. If this is tiring for you and you feel like you’re waiting then are you actually living in the end?? If you want it so badly then you could just chase after it in your physical reality but manifestation isn’t about that. It’s about being, if you give your desire to yourself instead of waiting for it to happen in your physical reality then you do actually have it. Period. Even if it may not feel that way, you do have it.

I feel like you’re seeing this as a process and a waiting game and that’s why you’re tired. If you actually accepted that you have it then you wouldn’t feel that way and you wouldn’t ask about when it’s gonna manifest.

WHATS IN THE 4D HAS NO OTHER OPTION BUT TO MANIFEST. Your mind isn’t just a fantasy place, it’s where creation takes place. What you experience in your physical reality is what you experience in imagination first by thinking and persisting about something.

I understand you want this badly but why are wanting something that you already have?? Don’t you realize it’s already done?? So why are you are focusing on the “when”. You either have it or you don’t.

[ninja-muse]

I need to start walking past used bookstores instead of into them…

Anyway, June was an all right reading month. I read some really good books, and some kind of poor ones, which is fairly normal, but I also didn't read as much as usual. This is a combination of having a few slow reads (Steampunk, Navola) and writing up a storm, neither of which is a bad thing. I am so glad to have written as much as I have this month. The end of the latest WIP is in sight!

Navola, by the way, is really good and if I'd been organized enough to take a photo of the ARC before I unhauled it, it would have gotten a dedicated review here. Think Renaissance Italy, low magic, ruthless politics, a boy coming of age, an unwanted destiny he has no choice but to accept, the trapped soul of a dragon… It's complex and twisted and detailed and layered, the sort of book you have to pay attention to and which will surprise you anyway. Highly recommended if you like George R.R. Martin or Robin Hobb or grimdark that's less about blood and battles and more about everyone being flawed and kind of awful.

This was also a month of ebooks for me, accidentally. I had a few library holds come in (and delayed one until next month because time), and I received not one but two e-ARCs, the second of which I'm working on right now. I also had one of those moments mid-month where I had no idea what to read so went for something radically different—a thriller about a forensic artist, mostly because it had been on my TBR for a bit and was available on Libby the day I needed a book.

And I reread Drums Along the Congo! Which I last read over 25 years ago so it was basically a new book to me. There's a lot of stuff I either missed or forgot the first time, but I was a kid who was reading it for the living dinosaurs rather than an adult reading for the journey and historical moment. I can't imagine the details about Congo in the 1980s would've made much of an impression. If you're into travel writing, it's one I'd recommend.

The third book off my TBR, A Bouquet From France, is that pretty marbled cover. (I nabbed it off my dad's unhaul pile mostly for that.) More interesting than the poems are some of the 1920s-era translation choices and the fact that the book has actual handcut deckle edges, like you can see where the knife went in off-center to cut the signatures open. Also Victor Hugo is introduced as one of France's best poets, with no mention that he might have also written some major novels.

In terms of my book haul for the month: one out-of-print comic book my work got on sale; one memoir a coworker was unhauling; two travel books that the "I've adulted so now I get a treat" used bookstore had in stock. One is the sequel/follow-up to one I hauled last month, so it's nice to have both. The other is excerpted letters by an English diplomat's wife from Constantinople in the early 1700s.* I successfully delayed a trip to the other tempting used bookstore until next month, so stayed tuned for that.

*Lady Mary Wortley Montagu. Awesome woman. Look her up.

And that's about it for this time around. I didn't do exciting cultural events or anything, just read and wrote a lot. How was your June?

Click through to see everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying - Django Wexler

Dani’s stuck in a time loop in a fantasy world. She’s supposed to be the Chosen One but that clearly not working. Time to switch sides for funsies…

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (bi woman), protagonist of colour

borrowed from work

Navola - Paolo Bacigalupi

Davico has always been aware of Navola’s politics and his banking family’s role in them, but also knows he’s unsuited to inherit that power. Unfortunately, in a city that breathes intrigue bowing out isn’t exactly an option. Out in July.

8.5/10

warning: violence, graphic injury, pseudo-incest

reading copy

A Bouquet From France - Wilfred Thorley, translator

A collection of French poetry from the 1100s to the 1920s.

7/10

off my TBR shelves

Steampunk - Ann and Jeff Vandermeer, editors

A collection of steampunk stories, old and new.

7/10

warning: misogyny, racism, eugenicists

off my TBR shelves

Running Close to the Wind - Alexandra Rowland

Avra, rubbish spy, finds himself on his ex’s pirate ship in possession of a deadly trade secret. Unfortunately, selling it to the highest bidder means working with a very sexy monk, and all manner of shenanigans.

7.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (multisexual), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (ungendered, achillean), major character with prosthetic eye, largely brown-skinned cast, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: frequent discussions of sex, cursing, animal death

library ebook

Every Time We Say Goodbye - Natalie Jenner

Vivien moves to Rome in the 1950s to work as a script doctor and possibly learn the true fate of her soldier fiancé.

6.5/10

Black American secondary characters, 🇨🇦

library ebook

The Face of Deception - Iris Johansen

Eve Duncan, world-class forensic artist, is drawn into a dangerous web when she takes a commission from a tech billionaire.

6.5/10

warning: animal death, murder

library ebook

The Black Bird of Chernobyl - Ann McMan

Lilah’s happily misanthropic life preparing bodies at her funeral home is upset when her father hires perky Sparkle for community outreach. Then Lilah goes viral… Out in July.

6.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (lesbian), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, sapphic), Black secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: death, grief

digital reading copy/won

Reread:

Drums Along the Congo - Rory Nugent

A naturalist travels deep into the African jungle in search of a legendary living dinosaur—or tries to. A lovely portrait of a time and place.

7.5/10

predominantly (Black) African cast

warning: animal death, brief mentions of Congo’s colonial brutalities

off my TBR shelves

Currently reading

The Dishonest Miss Take - Faye Murphy

Desperate to clear her name after a murder she didn't commit, a superpowered former villain stumbles onto a mystery—and a curious assassin. Out in September.

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic)

digital reading copy/won

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts. The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories.

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 8 + 1 Yearly total: 59 Queer books: 3 Authors of colour: 0 Books by women: 3 Authors outside the binary: 1 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 1 Off the TBR shelves: 3 Books hauled: 4 ARCs acquired: 3 ARCs unhauled: 2 DNFs: 0

January February March April May

[venuslovesmascs]

Hi!! I don’t really have a certain style or outline for readings so every one will be a little different im sure, I don’t like to limit myself and let the spirits and universe tell me what’s needed.

if it resonates pls leave a tag or comment 

I’m begging, talking to tarot and spirits

alone can make a girlie think they need psychiatric help

first guy - happy shark ? he looks happy

- queen of cups up, queen of wands reversed were the first two cards to come out - which I thought was really interesting. they want emotional maturity first , before intimacy or passion if it’s that type of connection. they don’t seem to be a sensual person, they like to emotionally get to know others however. they don’t accept “childlike” energy or people who can not commit. they have virgo energy. also cancer. always reminds me of queen of cups. they like security and balance.

honestly to me this doesn’t seem like someone you are seeing, either a crush you are scared to come forward to, or just a friend in general. it it’s a friend, they want to know you more intimately , to be able to care for you more. to emotionally support you more. if you reach out a hand, they will always want to grab it to help you.

they like to stay home. don’t like to go out and party. do not invite them out, especially with a large group. maybe a study sesh, baking, movie. honestly im not getting too much to pick up on here, they seem like a pretty chill person who likes to be in their own world. like I feel bad for interrupting their energy or peace lmao. if you want something, you have to make it known. they will NOT make the first move. but this person has good communication skills, and emotional maturity. definitely worth talking to. i think you will both learn more about each other if you have an honest conversation about how you are feeling. this person appreciates honesty, straightforwardness, and vulnerability. i honestly really get the vibe it’s a friend u want to communicate feelings for. don’t come on too strong or passionate, take things slow, they don’t like to rush. you’ll scare them lol. they are sensitive. don’t like change. u got this. let things flow. i know it’s hard, I suck at it that part.

- it only takes a taste, waitress the musical - came to my mind

- they have mom friend energy , maybe u have dad friend energy, “accidently parents to found family trope”

pile 2 - curved sharkey

this person may tend to take more than they give. we got the devil card. which isn’t always bad, but can involve lust or deep fantasy, living too much in a dream world, not being practical enough. they don’t desire commitment or balance right now. or communication. if they want to….,18+….. they like things firey and passionate. quick. they are the type to “get what I want”. no thinking. they want you to maybe relax a little more about communication. to live more in the moment. everyone wants different things from connections and that’s okay, you don’t always have to be on the same exact page, but you need to find a common ground. make sure you aren’t always walking the extra mile for them.

this person is fast. moves on quickly. like they don’t want me in their energy. they are like… sorry got to go. I’m bored.

you may be blinded to some red flags. they seem really sweet!! just not looking for anything serious, do not have time for commitment. but also have not communicated that, yikes :/ they like to indulge. I’d be careful with their energy honestly. you do not owe them anything. i wish I had more to say but there’s not much left lmao. they do not like the mushy feelings, or letting people in. you won’t be able to change that any time soon. feel free to engage if you don’t mind, just remember to stay true to yourself as well. do not hide your wants and needs. be honest that you are meeting them where they are for now. don’t build any resentment before something even begins.

pile three - cartoon shark

seems like a connection that has had separation, big changes in the past. a lot of hurt for both ends. one being more silent about their pain than the other.

this person wants a change for sure. numbers 3 or 12 could be important. they want to be more integrative . they seemed stuck in the past before, and feel guilty for so. they may have left you in the cold, “dropped your hand while dancing” / champagne problems. they want to bring you peace, if not come together, at least give closure. i think they had a lot going on, and want to explain. if you want to talk or not, that is your choice. just make sure you aren’t letting your “ego” decide - the part of you that holds resentments , pettiness, the part of your animalistic desires or patterns - dont make this a quick decision, take some time to think about it, not what would bring you short term fulfillment, but long term fulfillment.

they will understand if you do not want to integrate again, but either way want to help in whatever way possible.

this person cared about others opinions in the past, let status/family/friends/affairs get in between the connection. they care about their reputation. maybe they have already done some things in the past they are ashamed of, and are still afraid it can come into light. they felt like they were holding on my a thread. i still think their fear of reputation hasn’t changed if I’m being honest, im not sure they are still willing to put in any fight against others, but maybe for your connection. but don’t expect this person to change over night. they care, but still have issues being publicly outgoing or seen. they don’t like conflict. which is probably why they ran from you too lol. definitely avoidant. but if they come forward, it shows they are making change - remember that.

they didn’t fight for something like you wanted them to. they have never been good at communicating. they have worked on that for months, for themselves, not just you.

you are good at strategy. planning things out. they admire you for this. they are not. they are not good at looking into the future. they live in the moment. but are learning either way they fear what is to come. and they wish they had you to rely on , to be in the future , if nothing else. they don’t want to put the burden on you however , this scares them, maybe you are more financially/ emotionally put together, they may not feel good enough for you.

okay there’s a lot going on here but I think I’m going to end it here, feel free to message me for any clarification but, I think this is something that can only be worked out between you two in divine time.

PILE FOUR - SHOWER SHARK

this is definitely an ex or a past lover or current situation that’s getting less intimate . something has recently gone wrong. some kind of trust has been broken.

i think you are waiting for this person to change. but you two can not change together. they do not want the same things, you are both lacking fulfillment.

if I’m being honest, I don’t even think this person wants closure or to talk. they want a clean break, a fresh start. im sorry if you feel left out in the cold. there’s some new journey here that you have to take on your own. and I don’t think you are used to being alone. i know it’s scary, but I think the universe is high lighting some lesson or journey here. maybe this is long distance. starting college, or studying abroad, a new job, that kind of energy . i think you have a lot to look forward to. all these new changes coming are a blessing in the future. take time to mourn and heal, but know that when you are ready, you have a lot of fulfilling things ready for you. new friends, passions, hobbies

i think you felt really bogged down by this persons energy. that you were too similar. “twin flames” energy , not the western Instagram post “twin flames” but the idea that you meet someone who mirrors all the parts of you that you have ignored for years. that feels like your soulmate - how quickly and intimate you knew them. but it’s just the catalyst for your change and self growth. you will heal and grow into a person that people will love and understand, a person that this past energy won’t even recognize. i think you will always have love for them, it dosent feel too toxic in a sense, more just confusing, and hard, too hard. love dosent need to be hard.

focus on taking a break. mourning. going no contact seems like the best route here. we all have free will, im not telling you what to do. however , I think your energy would be best preserved if you had a clean break. no meeting up again. no drunk texts. no giving back some old tee shirt from the back of your closet that they don’t even want. bring it to goodwill. you will feel better in the long run if you focus on feeling empowered by yourself and not others. it’s okay go want community, and human connection is natural, but we still need self reliance and independence to be able to help others too. okay that’s a lot hope ur ok , much love. bye.

pile five - teeth sharkey

I’m getting this person wants to call you lol. they want to come back around, maybe from the past but not too far back.

they want to cleanse whatever has happened , maybe a fresh start. you may have noticed they have changed a little , dress differently, talk differently, new confidence?? new haircut ?? new phone?

they are a “shape-shifter” , they want to be a person that can change and provide for you. i don’t know how long term these changes are, they seem to change a lot - that is for your judgement and not mine. they seem smooth , I can like feel myself blushing??

welp - there’s definitely some big change spiritually within them with the death card I just pulled. they want change in your situation. maybe they link k***nk …. u know. they want to know the dark parts of you. show you the dark parts of them. “For better or for worse” energy. idk if they want long term commitment so to say? but they definitely want a more stable emotional connection. i may not be your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner but I’ll treat u and know u better than any of them energy.

there’s some secret they are hiding . i still don’t think they want to tell you everything, im not sure they want me to even be clear of what they want, maybe they do not know. they for sure want u tho. especially physically. wow they are attracted to u. possessive energy. maybe u like that, maybe u don’t. that’s urs to say. they want more eye contact, they think you have pretty eyes. they may like the occult / spiritual. OOO u know what, maybe they know you like it , they either researched it to impress you or actually had an awakening and want to share with you. they love your energy. they like being with you at night lol. maybe for some non-pg 13 stuff, but also I think they just want to be “spooky” in general with you and look at the moon and wander at night , do spells, that stuff. you seem to have changed them if I’m being honest. maybe opened up their heart. maybe you are their death moment.

if I’m being honest, idk if this is a person you see as “the one”. more like, a fling or fwb. but they were brought into your life for a reason. don’t let fears of the unknown / future hold you back from connecting with them. they have a lot to teach you.

[shingekinomyfeelings]

what you really are // 4th installment

Reiner finds that his first sexual encounter with a girl he truly cares for brings up a lot of memories and conflicted emotions. Does even Reiner know what the hell his problem is?

warnings: still none, I swear there'll be smut at some point. mdni, it's past your bedtime anyway

notes: hooray for Reiner's deteriorating sense of reality, I suppose

What would she think of me if she knew that I came here – that I grew up believing that people like her were evil? That the people here, her and her family and friends, were filthy and less than human?

Reiner tilts his head up, closing his eyes against the glare of the sun as it set. If she ever did find out, he imagines, he’d apologize and assure her that he knew so much better now.

Not like that would make it any less horrible to know, he tells himself, now kicking idly at a clump of dirt with the tip of his boot. She’d be crushed. She’d be pissed off. She’d probably never look at me the same way again, and that’s the fucking least of my crimes.

He kicks a little too hard, leaving a gash in the dirt. His golden eyes flicker to the entrance to the girls’ showers. He’s been standing here for several minutes, having finished washing up and deciding to wait for her so they could walk to the mess hall together. His hair has almost dried in the sunlight, but none of the girls have come out yet.

Why do girls take so much longer to clean themselves? What are they even up to in there?

His brows furrow. He just did it again. Since his conversation with Bertholdt, Reiner notices that his thoughts have been shifting more constantly and erratically between the ever-growing loathing for the destiny he’d signed himself up for as a warrior, and the cavalier, mundane thoughts of someone who was... well, he isn’t sure.

It’s not new, he knows, when he’s honest with himself.

In these last two years, he’s repeatedly let himself get too comfortable with all of them. Too familiar. Too fond. Bert and Annie had warned him about it, but he’d brushed them off and pretend they were wrong. Was that because he simply couldn’t face the fact that his convictions were wavering, or because he’d begun to actually enjoy the feeling of laughing with friends, being trusted, belonging, as he never had in Marley?

It’s both, he knows, when he’s honest with himself...

He hears laughter from within the girls’ showers and frowns slightly.

The female cadets and their various feminine mysteries were, of course, a frequent subject of lively discussion in the boys’ showers and barracks. Reiner hadn’t completely been above joining in some of the more bawdy exchanges one would expect from a group of hot-blooded, horny teenage men. He’d even boasted a little about some of his escapades with those girls from town. But when it came to her, he found himself unable to share details, or lurid fantasies, even when prompted by the other guys. The idea of betraying her privacy, or offering up mental images of her to the others like something on a platter, struck at a sense of decency that Reiner was a little surprised to learn he even had.

Besides that, he wanted those images all for himself. He wanted her all for himself.

And besides that, he didn’t want to admit to them that so far, fantasies about her were all he’d had – especially now, when he found himself hesitating and acting like a flustered idiot once she’d expressed interest in letting him live out those fantasies. It was hard enough for him to understand why he was doing it, let alone give others the opportunity to theorize.

That’s not even true.

He does know why, but pretending that he doesn’t lets him stall longer instead of actually thinking about it.

He knows he doesn’t deserve her, and that she deserves someone better. He’s afraid of hurting her, in more ways than one. One day she’s going to learn who he is, and isn’t he just twisting that eventual knife even further by accepting love and trust that he has no right to? Even if he also...

He sighs deeply, squeezing his eyes shut tight. He still doesn’t care to admit, even in his own head, how much he likes her. He knows that ‘likes’ is far too mild, but there’s a not-so-underlying terror that using the more honest term would be a precipice he can’t come back from. He’s already all too well aware that every time he holds her against himself – every time he’s awake late at night with the other male cadets, laughing at some off colour jokes – every time he lets Connie and Sasha launch what they seem to think is a clever ambush on him, trying to dog pile him to the ground – every time he sees the frustration in Eren’s eyes and can’t help pulling him to his feet and encouraging him not to give up, because he also can’t help seeing a bit of himself in Eren Jaeger – a little more of the conviction that had brought him here in the first place wavers.

Sometimes... he even forgets...

Reiner rubs his face with the palm of his hand, trying to push the thoughts out of his head, and when he lowers his hand again, she’s standing quite close to him, looking up at him expectantly. Her hair is still damp, and she smells so good and clean...

“You okay? What are you thinking about?”

“Uhh-- nothing, really. I’m fine, just... not thinking about anything.”

“Well that’s a typical guy answer.” She raises her brows. “The way you’re standing here cracking your knuckles and scrunching your eyebrows sure looks like you’re thinking about something, though.”

After studying his face for a moment, she reaches up to pluck a little wind-blown leaf from his hair. “Are you thinking about how Connie kicked your ass during sparring yesterday? I doubt anyone else is still thinking about it.”

“H-hey!” Reiner scoffs, gently grabbing her hand, though his eyes are lit with humor. “He didn’t ‘kick my ass,’ I lost my footing because the ground was soaked from the rain, and it gave in-- only reason it didn’t happen to him too is cuz he’s so small.”

“Yeah, but he did knock you down, then. Isn’t that the first time he’s managed to do that?” She reaches up to touch his hair with her free hand, simply trying to irritate him now.

Reiner laughs and sweeps up her other hand, holding both of her wrists above her head. “He has gotten way better at looking for openings, that’s true. He’s really improved since just last summer. I’m actually kinda proud of...”

She’s looking up at him with a smile, the happiness in her eyes making him trail off. In the soft evening light, she looks incredibly soft, too, and warm.

“Hey...” he says, quite softly, even though he’s still got ahold of her wrists above her.

He’s not sure why he says it; he has no particular thought to follow it up with, and she’s already staring into his eyes. Acting on an impulse, he lowers his head to kiss her lips, just as sweetly and softly as the way she’s looking at him. She makes just a tiny, wordless murmur, her lips slightly parted and eyes shut... and then a male cadet shouts to him from uncomfortably nearby, “Haha, yeah, Reiner, get it!”

Reiner’s head snaps up, his mouth hanging open a bit stupidly, and his face flushes several different hues of red as the other cadet beats a very hasty retreat.

We are right out in the open, after all... He looks back down at her, releasing her wrists, and her face looks hot, too. She recovers quickly, though, clearing her throat as if to recompose her dignity.

“We should head to the mess hall. It’s almost dinner. Come on, come on...” She’s turned away then, almost immediately, giving him a quick tug on his shirt before she set off, now seemingly more interested in food than in him.

He watches her with a sense of dissatisfaction that he hopes isn’t evident on his face before following.

Oh well, he tells himself a little ill-humoredly. Not like I was about to come up with my devastatingly charming come on line just then anyway...

[sweetfirebird]

AITA

AITA If I try to Set Up My Brother?

goddessofmfdeathandspring:

This is a throwaway account because even though he never comes on here, my brother just knows things, so I am taking precautions.

My adopted older brother is kind of my best friend. When I say adopted, I mean that he adopted me. He found me shortly after I’d run away from the bio mom’s for the millionth time and even though he was just a teenager, he brought me back to his home and his family, where I was welcomed. Honestly, I’d love him just for that but we really are close. Which is why I want to do something for him about how lonely he is.

Oh, he’s not lonely in the sense that he’s alone. Our family is big and he is loved, and he has friends outside the family that he visits a few times a year. No, this is the romantic sort of lonely. We tell each other a lot, but he never volunteers anything about anything like that. –And before anyone says anything, look, he might be ace and that would be fine, but I truly don’t think he’s aro. Why? Little things. The way he looks whenever someone in the family brings their new boyfriend or girlfriend or lover to meet him. (It’s sort of a complicated family dynamic but for this, you might think of him as like the family patriarch? Or something along those lines. Although he’s not even thirty.) Things like that which tell me that my brother, let’s call him Louis, doesn’t want to be alone in the way that he is.

And ok, it’s not just romantic loneliness. There is really no one around on his level. For some background, Louis is a polymath. He’s very smart, and he, for lack of a better way to explain it here, knows things before other people do. Added to that, he has some disabilities as well as some facial scarring from an incident when he was like 19. Personally, I think the scarring makes him look like a wizard or something from a fantasy game, and honestly, the people in town don’t seem put off by it—the opposite in fact—but he’s sensitive about it. He’s also very tall and, as I have overheard more than once in the shop where I work in our small town, to most people, he’s hot. I’m not sure if people are too intimidated to ask him out, or if they do ask him, but then realize midway through their first conversation that he might be a little awkward, but he is also just… on a completely different level than they are.  

He’s not rude about it. If anything, he’s too nice to people who don’t like finding out how much he knows.

Anyway. What I wanted to do is ask someone for help finding someone for him. It’s just that the person I want to ask is maybe not Louis’ favorite person in the world? So… Louis is not straight, and our town is very… accepting in some ways, but tricky about this one issue. (A big name in our town is gay and for some reason this gets a lot of wannabe small town royalty heated.) The person I want to ask is I think gay.(I’ve never asked his preferred label but he has off-handedly discussed men with me from time to time. But even if he’s not gay, he still knows people and isn’t a bigot. He is also well… if one person in the world could intimidate my brother right back, it would be this person.

I’ll call him Robert. Robert is the opposite of my brother which might be why Louis gets weird around him, tense and stiff and more awkward than I knew he could be. Robert is bossy, and, opinionated and feels things out loud, if that makes sense? And he can see more about people than even my brother can. So I want to ask him if he knows of anyone who might do for Louis, in town or anywhere close by. I don’t think he will be angry, but my brother might be. From the way he frets before any encounters with Robert, you’d think Robert had kicked his ass once or something. As if tiny little Robert would. He’s just busy all the time, and distracted, and if he snips at Louis, it’s over silly things like how he thinks Louis works too hard or lets people in town demand too much of him.

Which is rich, coming from Robert, who is constantly working, and really needs someone to take care of him according to my mother, but when I ask who would do that, she just makes a funny face and asks if I’ve seen Louis recently. All the same, Robert will fuss over Louis, and peck at him for being overworked, and chide him for wearing store brought scarves and things (Robert is a highly sought after fabric artist) all of which usually makes my brother frown in return and then go off and mope for a while.

He doesn’t explain when I ask, and only ever says nice things about Robert. But, as just one example, the last time Louis had to go over to see Robert, he paced in our kitchen for ten minutes before finally girding his loins to drive over to Robert’s house. I have no idea what happened once he got there, but when he came home, he only stayed for about an hour before he packed his things and went off camping in the woods for a while, which is how he broods.

But I really can’t take the way he watches when the kids in the family do silly fortune-telling games to find their true loves, or the way he avoids the subject when one of our brothers who has decided he is a matchmaker tries to discuss it with him, or how quiet he gets when I suggest he go out to the one bar in town that caters to the younger crowd so he can find someone. Once when I suggested it, he just smiled sadly and didn’t say anything except that he was, “Waiting.”

Ugh right? It’s terrible. He’s a little different than most, yeah, but he should have someone who isn’t afraid of him and can look out for him. Because Robert is right. Louis does let people in town demand too much of him.

So. Even knowing about his discomfort around Robert, WIBTA if I snuck behind my brother’s back and asked Robert to help me find him someone?

Edit: A lot of you in the comments are convinced Louis has feelings for Robert for some reason. I don’t even know how to tell you how ridiculous that is.  

[weebsinstash]

Shoto as the Empress’ concubine is top tier (although imagine if they sent a smug bastard like Dabi or idk, Hawks lmao)!! He’s so calm and easy to be around and she can just relax around him.

But imagine if he just loves flaunting his affection for the Empress in public. He already bickers with Izuku a lot and Bakugou isn’t his biggest fan, but just picture the DRAMA when he gently puts his hand over the Empress’ at the dinner table, caressing her palm while they gaze lovingly at each other right in front of Izuku and Katsuki; when he nuzzles his head in the crook of her neck or on her lap during a social event; when Katsuki comes to do his royal duty (or try to) to the empress but finds Shoto got there first. When Izuku barges into her palace to find Shoto and the Empress making out in the garden. Shoto is a hated me for sure, and Izuku nearly tears his hair out with anger. Katsuki is already thinking of ways to get rid of him.

(Lmao I actually thought about. Not Dabi but like, Enji lmao, but, that's more of, I just really like how big he is 😳 it's very. Domineering and sexy and masculine. His body type is 🙏 although if we're talking Enji and royalty I've had separate ideas for him in the past albeit in a more fantasy castles and knights and kings sorta idea, but)

that clingy bottom bitch Deku, running into Katsuki's palace in tears: Your Excellency it's terrible its absolutely terrible its horrible its inhuman... the Empress and that monk are in the garden together!

Katsuki: yeah I'm sure... They're always together

Deku: but this time it's different. This time they're.... HOLDING HANDS 🥺

Katsuki just yeeting all the paperwork off his desk to go and see if this absolutely outrageous claim is true (which it is)

But also Shouto just whole-heartedly being fully devoted to his Saintess and Empress 🥺❤️ which may be loving or creepy however you'd like to interpret it. He basically replaces all your ladies in waiting or becomes some sort of authority figure over all of them and is just attached to you like your left hand, but his presence is much more welcomed than your arranged marriage with Bakugou or his overly affectionate concubine. He's soft and sweet and respectful while also being very well-read and talented in many things. He did kind of, dedicate his life to the purpose of serving the Saintess after all so he's, would a geisha be a wrong comparison. He basically trained himself into being, a very entertaining, loyal, strong companion figure? More than just a servant but, serving all the same you know?

Katsuki walks by your palace hoping to visit you and you're just outside on the veranda with Shouto playing a little lyre or zither or something while you listen with a peaceful, happy expression and Bakugou just sees RED and storms away before you notice him because, your little attendant 'technically' isn't doing anything wrong and the young man's family has influence to retaliate if anything happened. Izuku is trying to bring you some snacks and invite you for a picnic and you're already having one wirh Shouto in the garden, Midoriya absolutely scandalized and turning pink and red as Shouto is oh so loyally applying a sunscreen to your exposed skin, massaging it into your delicate hands and wrists, your neck, your face, maybe even your ankles, and maybe it isn't just Izuku's imagination that he's getting a little handsy (or it could be entirely platonic and Deku is just a jealous little bitch, i mean, multiverse theory means we can have both lmao)

Shouto is just having too many tender and intimate moments with you for your pining unrequited lovers to be comfortable with, and what's worse is how happy you seem with Shouto's company. The two of you are just. Too close for your husband (and, kind of sort of second husband/concubine) to find acceptable. I wouldn't put it passed them to like, try and have him poisoned or assassinated and frame it on someone else, but that would practically kill you with grief so they, abstain, for now at least

Gosh but. You know. C: returning to the concept of, "Shouto is so devoted because Reader is the Saintess and he basically practices a religion revering the Saintess" idea.... geez you know, I mentioned Midoriya being potentially manipulative upon rejection, but, imagine some sort of trouble in paradise (maybe you found like a creepy stalker shrine where you find out oh this whole 'worship you' thing is going in several different nonplatonic directions) and you reject Shouto in some sort of way and at his absolute lowest, most desperate, he's just like, groveling at your feet, maybe literally trying to kiss your feet and stuff like the tops of your sandals or whatever, just like, weeping. You can't reject him, he's devoted his entire life to this 🥺 without you in his life his might as well just kill himself, or so he pleads with you. God it would be so awful. Just saying he's nothing more than a dog to serve you, grabbing at your dress, please don't reject him please please please

Imagine Shouto having previously lost his shit on Midoriya for trying to cry and manipulate for your attention and now here the monk is like outright waving a ritual knife around threatening suicide if you don't let him keep serving you (which of course you agree to and at this point the two of you are close enough that this is a pretty traumatizing experience for him to do all this) so, angst I guess for Reader feeling like she's "ruined" Shouto and also not being entirely comfortable with him but also still having all those previous good feelings for him and not being able to really get rid of him unless she like pleads to Bakugou which. No. So now you have multiple people thirsting and obsessed with you and you're just so done with it all, maybe you're about to have your own manhwa moment, "I Traveled Back In Time To Save Myself By Marrying The Demon King Of The Neighboring Kingdom" or some shit lmao, watch you end up with an infinitely worse man like.... God who's more toxic than Bakugou in MHA... man i wouldn't fuck him for anything so you know who'd be terrible. Monoma. I don't think I could put up with his, uh, manic episodes on top of any obsessive yandere tendencies 🙄 but also.... hm.... he does have the potential to be real creepy though...

But also like, on a different idea of some sort of, betrayal, imagine if, to just be gross for a sec, Shouto catches you trying to rub one out and he c: helps you, and you're you know shy at being caught but he kinda worms his way up to you and gets to work so quickly you don't really have time to protest and realize 'oh hey having his face between your thighs is definitely a much better alternative than Bakugou and Midoriya being creepy and possessive with your body' and kinda, lowkey he becomes your loyal little fwb. And you're trucking along thinking he's so perfect and lovely and that's when you find out Shouto is also a total freak down something horrendous for you and you've kind of just been putting out to someone just as bad if not worse than who you were trying to avoid, and I mean, unless he tries to steal you away for himself, Shouto also benefits from you being chained to this palace by status and duty. Keeps you in one place and protected for him 🥰 and also he has access to such nice supplies and materials to pamper you with, like putting fresh flower petals in the enormous tub you take baths in, or luxurious jewels for pins for your hair or necklaces or rings, just anything he can give you to make you feel pretty, not to mention the kinds of robes and dresses you receive as Empress

Sure, Shouto COULD try and help you escape. OR he could rat you out if he ever catches on to you planning such a thing and keep you right where he can find you :) that awkward moment when your loyal servant and best friend turns out to be just another obsessive creep who wants you to put out 😔