Tumgik
#i’m so sorry i stopped posting about star wars for a second to talk about an ACTUAL GENOCIDE
sweaters-and-vertigo · 5 months
Text
do my anti-genocidal views bore you? or have i offended you with them?? gosh, i am so sorry. i just can’t imagine why that is… it’s probably because i’m so ignorant and stupid. it definitely has nothing to do with you as a person!! i’ll have to work really, REALLY hard to unlearn this toxic behavior. but once i do, we can spread cruelty together!! hand in hand. as a team. ❤️
4 notes · View notes
latenightdaydreams · 4 months
Text
Tutor (fem)
Loser!König x Bully!Reader
MDNI🔞
Part 2 Part 3
Master List
>cw: fem/afab, bully, oral, p in v, virginity loss
2.3k word count
📖
.
.
König is a loser. He’s a 23-year-old virgin college student who is too scared to talk to women. He would much rather stay home and build Gundam’s, play video games, or work on his schoolwork. In public, he is quiet and timid. He tries to blend in to not be seen. Being a whole 6 '10, he can’t. As a child, he was constantly bullied for his size and being chubby. As an adult, he still gets picked on for being tall and awkward.
You are a part of the problem. A short, curvy, big-breasted bitch; the apple of his eye. König sits in the back of class and watches your hips sway as you walk to your seat. The way your breasts bounce like hentai boobies. His cock grows hard as you bend over, making your cleavage more visible to him. Just as he got lost in a trance, you snap him out of it.
“What are you looking at? Freak!”
Your hands on your hips, a disgusted look on your face. König’s face turns red as he realizes that you’ve caught him in the act. You flip him off and turn to sit. He reaches down to adjust his boner, taking a deep breath and letting out a small sigh.
After class, as everyone stands to pack their bags, he stays seated, looking at his cell phone. He has your Instagram profile opened on his phone, gazing at a bikini picture you posted this summer. You look absolutely perfect in your tiny pink bikini. He has become so lost in your photos; he didn’t realize you were walking past him to leave.
“What the fuck?” A loud laugh breaks out.
König looks up to see that you caught him looking at your profile. He turns off the screen of his phone and clears his throat. Inside his chest, his heart pounds so hard it feels like it’s going to explode from embracement.
“Sorry.” His voice is meek as he avoids eye contact with you.
“Fucking loser.” You scoff while walking away.
This was going to be a long year.
Three months into the school year, you haven’t turned in one assignment yet and have failed the few tests you’ve had. The dean sent you a message telling you that if you don’t raise your grades, you would be at risk of being put on academic probation. You needed a tutor, and fast.
König sits in his dorm room at his desk, working on building Lego set #21348, when he hears a knock at his door. He looks over his shoulder at his door, trying to decide if he wants to deal with people. After a few seconds, he stands to answer the door.
Once he opens the door, his eyes grow wide seeing you standing there. “Oh, h-hey y/n.”
“Hey König.” You smile up at him and push him aside, walking into his room. His room is simple and neat. Robot figures anywhere he can place them and a Lego set on his desk. You walk over and look at the set, König walking up behind you.
“So, what is this? Star Wars?”
König tilts his head confused about how wrong you are. Do you even know what Star Wars is? “Uh, no. Star Wars is a space themed futuristic story…” He could see the lack of interest on your face. “So, why are you here?”
“Geez, you’re a bigger fucking nerd than I thought you were.” You say pushing over a mini figure he has posed on the desk. His mouth hangs open, stopping himself from asking you to not do that. He watches as you turn and take a seat on his desk chair.
You look up at König as he towers over you. “You’re smart, right?”
“I guess.” König rubs the back of his neck feeling bashful.
“Well, I’m failing math, and I need a tutor. The issue is… well, I can’t afford one. So I was wondering if you could tutor me.”
This isn’t what he was expecting, well more of not what he hoped for. “I don’t have time to tutor. Sorry.”
Your smile drops and you stand up. “Too busy? You’re always in here building stupid fucking Legos or robot’s models.”
“Technically Gundam’s are mechs, not robots like a transformer.”
“Wow. Okay.” You sound annoyed and uninterested. “So, are you going to help me or not?”
“I already said I can’t.” His voice gets even more timid.
You’re not use to people saying no to you, especially not pathetic men who worship the ground you walk on. In fact, you hate being told no. How fucking dare he.
“So, you can sit and fucking gawk at me, stalk my social media accounts, but you can’t help me for a few fucking hours?” You push his muscular chest.
He stumbles backwards, actually intimidated by you. Speechless, he doesn’t know what to say. His eyes drop to your breasts as you keep walking to him. Not one thought in his mind other than how hot you look at this exact moment.
“I- I uh, I.”
“What? You forgot how to talk?” You push him once more and he falls back on to his bed. As soon as he does, your eyes drift down to the tent growing in his pants and you laugh. König’s eyes go wide as your hand reaches out, grasping his boner through his sweats; his face burning hot. He looks up at you in a daze.
“Oh, wow. Loser actually has a fat cock.” Your other hand grabs his jaw and forces him to look into your eyes. You lean in and lick from his lips to his nose before moving back and letting go of him.
König’s heart is fluttering in his chest, this feels like a dream. His eyes watch like a hungry dog as you pull your tight fitted shirt, unhooking your bra and tossing it aside. Your hands unbutton your jeans and expose a thin thong that barely covers your fat pussy lips.
“Why are you still dressed?” Your voice shocks him out of his daze.
Quickly, he pulls his shirt off. A ripped muscular body is not what you expected him to have under his baggy clothing. He drops his sweat pants along with his boxers allowing his cock to spring free. König, now nude, stands in front of you frozen. His gaze lingering on your pussy. You’re the first woman he’s seen naked in person.
“Do you have condoms?”
He looks at his bedside table, even though he is well aware he has none. “Um, no. I don’t.”
“I knew you were probably a virgin.” He blushes and looks down when you say this. You walk closer to him. “Are you?”
“Ja, I am.”
“No fucking wonder. Lay down.” You demand in a strict tone.
König jumps like a drill sergeant to yell at him. He quickly gets on his bed and looks at you. His cock twitching with excitement. You climb onto the bed with him, straddling his massive body. His hands instinctively rest on your thighs as you lean in and kiss his lips.
“How about I teach you—” You kiss him in between talking. “How to fuck—” His fingers squeeze your thighs. “And you tutor me?”
Without thinking, König nods his head enthusiastically.
“Good. We will start with math.” You giggle, reaching your hand behind his head to pull the pillows away from behind him.
König looks confused by your comment. Math? Then his eyes go wide as you straddle his face. Your twat lingers above him. He gazes up as if you’ve just shown him God. If he could take your scent and make air fresheners, he would. His cock is upright, erect, waiting to taste you.
“Stick your tongue out, big boy.” You lean forward and place your hands on his chest. One hand reaches forward and jerks his cock.
König sticks his tongue out eagerly, watching your body as you lower yourself onto his face. Your pussy rests on his mouth and nose, hips rocking back and forth on his tongue. His eyes flutter closed as he tastes pussy for the first time. How could he have lived this long without tasting this sweet nectar?
His fingers dig into your thighs as he pulls you down closer to his face. His tongue rapidly laps at your cunt, slurping and drinking your wetness. You moan, eyes closing as you continue to grind; he’s surprisingly skilled.
“You want me to suck your cock?”
“Ja, bitte.” He groans, his sound muffled from you sitting on his face.
Leaning forward, you pull his foreskin down and wrap your lips around the tip of his cock. He lets out a moan, his toes curling. Your hands move in motion with your head as you bob your head up and down on his cock. König moans into your sopping wet cunt. He’s in heaven.
König’s hips thrust forward to match your rhythm. One of his hands moves from your thigh up your body to squeeze your breast before roaming back down. When you pull your mouth away from his cock, he thrust forward even more, craving your friction. You lift yourself up off of him, his hands hold on to your thighs tighter as if trying to keep you on him. Reluctantly, he lets you go; swiping his tongue between your folds once more as you stand.
You move your body to the side of him. He watches you as he licks his lips, trying to savor the taste of you. The heat of your pussy radiates over your cock.
“You’re buying me a Plan B right after this.”
“I will.” His eyes are glued to yours.
Slowly you rock your hips over his cock before grasping it at the base. You look into his eyes as you lower yourself on him.
König’s mouth drops open and he lets out a loud groan. His eyes glued to your tight cunt stretching around his cock. He grabs at the blanket underneath him, squeezing it to the point his knuckles are turning white. He can’t last long in your pussy.
“Mein Gott, you- your pussy—” He can’t form a coherent sentence.
His hands reach out for your breasts as you bounce on him. You have the most incredible pair of tits he has ever seen. He’s always known you were hot, but seeing you like this, not even Aphrodite couldn't compare.
You slap away his hand and lean forward. “Grab my ass and fuck me.”
König nods, having seen this in porn before, he knows what to do. He thinks. His large hands grasp your fat ass and squeeze his fingers into the supple flesh; bending his legs at the knee, he begins to thrust up into you.
As he tries his hardest to not cum, his thrust is slow. He looks at the ceiling as his mind is running 110mph. You grab his jaw again, forcing him to look at you.
“Fuck me. Harder.” You demand of him.
“I don’t…want to hurt you.” He struggles to speak, looking up at you through half-lidded eyes.
“If you don’t fuck me hard, we are done here.”
König would not let his crush on the last two semesters just walk away, especially not since he got you to this part. Guys like him don’t get women like you. He grabs you and rolls you over on to the bed, slamming you down a little harder than he meant to. The look on your face tells him you didn’t mind one bit.
He grabs your hips and pulls you to him, slipping his cock back inside of your tight little cunny. You moan out as your hands grab his arms. König doesn’t hold back as he restricts your movements underneath him using his massive size. He pulls his hips back far before slamming down into you. His enormous cock being rammed deep inside of you, deeper than you can take.
“Oh, fuck! Like that you fucking freak!” You moan out.
König lets out a small growl as he ravishes your body, ruining your cunt for any other man. His mouth clashes into yours, desperate for your kiss. A trail of his hot wet kisses leaving from your mouth down to your breasts. He bites the skin around your areola, marking you as his for your stupid fuck buddy to see.
You push him back. “Rub my clit.” You reach for his hand and guide it so he knows where to touch. “Do small circles.”
He nods and begins to rub slowly at first until you yell at him to go faster. König lets out a surprised moan as he feels you tightening around him. Is this what a female orgasm is? Fuck yes! His hips faster, his rhythm slightly off as he tries to also focus on your clit.
“Don’t stop.” König watches in amazement as you arch your back and tremble. Your pussy becomes so wet it's splashing as he rubs it. He feels on top of the world.
Instantly, a loud pitched moan leaves his throat. A stupid smile crosses his face as he eyes go slightly crossed. He cums deep inside of your pussy. As his body naturally falls forward you push him off to the side.
König lays on his back, on cloud nine. His pale eyes study your face and your body as you lay beside him.
“So,” your breathing is still heavy, “I’ll come by tomorrow and we can start working on my tutoring.”
He nods, willing to give you anything you ask for at this point. Mentally, he is not over the fact he just ate and fucked y/n, you, your pussy.
You stand from the bed and begin to get dressed. Your cunt hurts, König fucks like a mating bull. He’s a good fuck though, there is not denying that.
“Oh, and if you tell anyone, you’re dead.”
“I understand.” König watches you as you get dressed with hearts in his eyes. “What are we?”
You stop and look at him for a moment before letting out a small laugh and shaking your head.
Part 2 Part 3
607 notes · View notes
kedsandtubesocks · 7 months
Text
you, my golden hour
Rancher!Javier Peña x Cowgirl!Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: 1997. as a fallen rodeo star, you can handle anything - except maybe your city’s hometown hero
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, Post Season 3 Javi works on his family’s ranch AU, unspecified age gap (only age mention is reader can drink and Javi is older), major pining & yearning, emotional hurt & comfort, light angst with tender fluff, reader has a backstory and family, no physical description of reader but gendered language is used and reader can ride a horse, use of pet/nicknames, mention/description of rodeo accident, themes of dealing with burnout, small texas town toxicity, light Spanish use, reader & javi having insecurities they bond/heal over, bar scene with alcohol consumption, spicy moments with allusions to smut, intense makeout where Javi gets handsy, soft!Javi, dreamy & protective!Javi
word count: 10.2k (I’m sorry)
a/n: the second installment of ‘let’s rodeo’ and my love letter to Javi & Texas, the heart of this series - this fic is near & dear to me and I just appreciate getting the chance to write this, so to @lowlights @ahauntedcowboy & @perotovar for giving me the courage to post this know I’m so grateful… and to you reading this thank you, so dearly appreciate you too ♡
Tumblr media
You haven’t thought of Javier Peña in years.
Older than you, he was handsome and had a smile that rivaled the Texas Friday night lights. He eventually hooked up with the number one town sweetheart who was even rumored to have won a local state beauty contest.
By the time you heard of their engagement, you already had started your plans for the circuits, for the road. You didn’t mourn or even feel heartbroken over the news.
Even after that, the rodeo consumed you. It kept you in a tornado like whirl for years until that fateful day it spat you out.
When that ride stopped, Javier Peña came back into your mind with a strange fog-like entrance.
While still on bed rest, the news on the TV had been showing a small special on the War on Drugs and the lull of it filled the room.
Your grandmother was the one who brought him up.
“That’s what Chucho’s son is involved in.”
“Wait, Javier Peña’s into drugs?” You asked a bit confused even without the pain killers.
“No. He’s going after the people who sell drugs.” She clarified.
Oh.
“He also didn’t get married either. Do you remember?” She had added.
You did. You heard he left the little Miss Homecoming Queen at the altar. Quite a scandal that made him the talk of the town for a while.
Then he became a big shot drug enforcer who took down one of the largest drug cartels in history and he again became the talk of the town.
It’s been a few years since your accident and now Javier Peña is back home.
Now driving into the Peña ranch you feel both so young, yet so aged at the same time, like you’re stuck between two realities.
Your sister bounces out of the truck with uncontainable glee and you’re grateful she’s excited.
Chucho Peña comes to greet everyone. His classic cream cowboy hat and gentle smile are all a beautiful welcome. It’s also adorable seeing your grandpa reunite with his old friend.
Señor Peña’s kind eyes eventually land on you with a sweet twinkle.
“It’s good to see you, mija.”
You’ve always adored Chucho Peña.
His son on the other hand…
You never knew Javier enough to fully know him. Even with his dad and your grandpa being pals, the years between you and Javier didn’t help. He existed outside your orbit, a figure almost out of reach.
“And that son of yours!?” Your grandpa of course perks up asking about him.
“Ah sí Javi’s here, just out in the stables.” Chucho explains casually.
The last time you physically saw Javier Peña he was walking out of the bank. You’d been waiting in your family truck when he stepped out. By that point, a small bit of shadow was forming against his jaw and upper lip as his facial hair began to grow thick. He was a young man on the verge of stepping into the threshold of being grown.
Now before you he’s a fully grown man.
For a minute you think the man in the barn is someone else because it doesn’t seem like Javier.
Yet when he turns, you see his eyes.
Rich soil of the earth stunning eyes and you know it’s him.
His body has filled out and his shoulders even look broader. He sports a similar mustache like his father’s and it adds to his older appearance. There’s a weathered weariness on his face evident in the wrinkles carved out by his eyes and on his forehead.
The button up shirt he’s wearing allows a peek at his chest and his skin shines with sweat from the Texas sun already shining its warmth.
He’s breathtakingly stunning and you can’t take your eyes off him.
He warmly greets your grandpa with a wide smile that touches his eyes and brightens his face. He’s still that charming young man you saw, a brilliant comet out of your galaxy.
But then his gaze lands on you and his eyes narrow. A conflicting recognition and confusion swirl in his eyes. He knows you, seems to remember you, but not fully.
His dad clarifies your name and you deflate a bit. Then Javier’s eyes go wide and his eyebrows shoot into his hairline.
So, he does remember you.
“Oh, yeah. Good to see you.” He nods fully realizing who you are.
“Guess the horse must be for you then?” Javier adds and your heart sinks a bit.
A grimace tugs on your face but you try recovering quickly.
“No mijo,” Chucho thankfully answers quick and gentle. “I told you, it’s for her hermanita.”
You grin small and tight in agreement.
“Oh…yeah of course.” He nods.
Your little sister immediately jumps in bright and eager to share her excitement. Thankfully the focus effortlessly shifts to her and the reason why you’re all here.
The horse is beautiful, playful and eager for attention. This first meeting already feels good. Of course, everyone holds their breaths when your sister goes for the ride.
And it couldn’t have gone more smoothly.
You even exhale relieved.
“You seemed nervous.” A smooth warm voice comes out besides you.
As you lean against the ring’s fence you discover Javier Peña moving to rest beside you.
“Just like the first day of school kinda nerves. Want to make sure everything goes smoothly.” You answer as your sister effortlessly trots around the ring with ease.
“Yeah, I bet. They already seem to be clicking.” Javier notes genuine and you’re grateful too.
Your grandfather now calls out to you.
Both you and Javier turn towards where the older men stand close to each other like conspiring headaches.
“To celebrate, we’re having dinner here!” Your grandpa cheers happily and a dread drop kicks your heart.
Immediately you stammer out panicked about how you all can’t impose.
“No pasa nada, mija.” Senor Peña gently reassures you saying not to worry. “Besides, you’re all more than welcome here. It’s been a while since Javi and I had guests.”
You don’t miss the unashamed hum Javier makes.
“And grandma?” You reply, trying to reach for more excuses not to stay.
“She can walk.” Your sister teases suddenly and you give her a sharp look.
“Will you go pick her up, please?” Your grandpa gives you his best pleading face before simply throwing the truck keys to you
Stubborn old man.
“Hijo,” Señor Peña calls out again, but this time to his son. “You should go too.”
Shit.
“No Pop, it’s okay!” Javi politely declines and you want to second that.
“Aye,” His dad chides and then he pointedly gives Javier a look that screams - Don’t be rude, go with her.
Damn.
The walk to the truck is quiet, awkward as hell, feels like two parents shoving their kids together to play nice.
Heading into the main part of town, silence fills most of the drive. You're also mentally kicking yourself for not getting the radio fixed last week like you should’ve.
“So uh, your grandma…still volunteering at the women’s shelter?” Until Javier offers a small branch of conversation.
“Yup.” You nod.
“Oh good, that’s good.” He replies.
But silence returns.
“So, you taking a break from the rodeo then? Pop used to tell me about you all the time.” Javier comments light, casual.
You feel like a cat with its hairs standing up. But even with that sensation, knowing Señor Peña spoke so fondly of you does simmer the sting.
“Sort of.” You decide to rip this off like a bandaid, get it over with now. “Had a bad accident a while back. Still haven’t decided if I wanna return.”
It’s been two years since you’ve been home.
“Oh…” Javier’s voice drops, the same way everyone does when you tell them.
“I’m sorry.” Except you’re surprise at how sincerely soft his voice is. “I thought I heard something about it. I should’ve fucking remembered… Sorry.”
He apologizes again, surprising you once more as genuine repentance floats off his voice.
You thank him understandingly. After all, it's one of the better responses you’ve been given. But you don’t want to dig into this, especially with him, so you quickly change the conversation.
“So how long are you here for? I’m sure there must be other drug cartels waiting for you to take them down.” You offer casual.
Not only had he taken down Pablo Escobar a while back, you briefly heard of his very recent grand move against the other cartel in Columbia.
He’s impressive, the town’s hero and golden boy.
“Uh actually, I’m retired. Gonna take a step back for a bit.” Javier answers just as polite and calm as you had answered him.
Oh. You hadn’t heard that. Or maybe you did and forgot.
You now feel like the foolish one and genuinely congratulate him.
“It takes a lot to decide when to step away. Besides, you deserve a break after all you did.” You mean those words.
After all, they were the same comforting words his father told you when you came back home.
A pause fills the truck and you worry you’ve maybe overstepped.
“I…yeah.” Javier breathes out. “Thanks. Appreciate that.”
Your heart flutters at how small and genuine he sounds.
“So…how about them Dallas Cowboys, huh?” Javier offers light and for some reason you laugh.
It’s not much, but it feels like a lifeline.
When you arrive to pick up your grandmother she gasps so giddy when she sees the surprise guest with you. Her excitement lights up the drive while she talks about her day taking full advantage of having Javier listening to her.
“Oh I’m so glad you’re back home safe Javi!” She gushes and then says your name.
You’re already panicking.
“With so many of your friends living out of town, maybe you’ll get to spend more time back in the city with Javier!?” She offers to you brightly and absolute horror seizes your heart.
Shooting a petrified face at her you silently plead for this discussion to die.
Javier in the back seat weakly laughs. Because of course Javier, ever the gentleman, had your grams sitting up front.
“Oh don’t give me that look.” Your grandma playfully teases back at you. “At least go rent a movie with him.”
The thought crosses your mind about turning around and dropping her back off.
“Did you know,” Javier innocently jumps in. “The first ever blockbuster was opened in Dallas?”
Your grandma coos in awe as if he’s just explained a miracle.
“See! Now you have to go with him to one!” She urges.
A horrified indignant noise escapes you. While behind you, Javier snickers even more and you’re tempted to drop him off on the side of the road to let the coyotes feast on him.
The minute you arrive at the Peña’s home you can’t get out of the truck fast enough.
Dinner fortunately goes smooth and you’re surprised at how eased the rest of the time unfolds. You do hate how many times your eyes flicker towards Javier like if you’re still trying to soak him in.
Then, from across the table, Javier’s gaze flickers to you fast catching you staring red handed. Your heart transforms into a jackrabbit, petrified and thumping fast, almost making you flee right then and there.
Until your grandpa addresses you. His warm eyes dance with a surprise in his gaze.
“We’ve decided to have some of your sister's training here.”
Your heart now skips over itself.
Your gramps and sister both explain the plan hatched while you were on the road. In order to get used to competing in different spaces, your sister decided to train here at the Peña’s.
You’re hesitant, but understand the logic. You’re even impressed. But you can’t pinpoint why you’re so nervous about this.
Señor Peña now calls to you, sensing your hesitation, and tenderly grins.
“Don’t worry mija,” his kind eyes crinkle with understanding. “It’s no trouble at all.”
His reassurance is grace and you smile back relieved while thanking him deeply.
“Seems like you’re the boss here.” Javier suddenly joins in with a casual tone and you freeze.
“Well yeah, that’s my coach you’re talking to.” Your sister proudly declares.
“Coach?” Javier’s voice perks up curious.
“Yeah.” You answer with a small smile. “That’s me.”
“Been barking orders at me all these years so why not put her in charge.” Your sister innocently adds and in pure sobbing annoyance you want to shove her face into her plate.
Thankfully everyone laughs, illuminating the room.
But you’re faced with a new reality. You’re going to be here more, seeing Javier Peña more.
And you don’t know how you feel about that yet.
-
The Peña ranch in the morning sits tranquil and the peace gives you the focus on training.
You’re surprised at how good your sister and the mare already bond. You explain a few drills and have your sister run a few repetitions of them.
“You sound like a tough one.” Javier’s voice surprises you and you almost jump over the fence.
Glancing back, he approaches you with two thermoses.
“Pop and I thought you might need an extra pick me up.” He offers and you can’t help but greedily grab at it.
“Tell your dad thanks and that he’s a saint.”
Javier snorts at your reply.
Now your focus returns to your sister. You recommend a type of turning drill vividly remember doing yourself. Your sister playfully salutes you and begins.
“How she looking, coach?” Him calling you ‘coach’ draws a dangerous electricity that snaps up your spine.
“Don’t call me coach.” You dryly tell him trying to keep yourself composed.
“Well isn’t that what you are?” He teases casually.
Your face scrunches up annoyed while his eyes crinkle amused.
“Don’t you have things to do, Javier Peña?” You sigh, already exhausted of this man.
“Javi…you can just call me Javi, coach.”
You’re tempted to childishly scoot away from him. Younger you would have never imagined he was this annoying.
“Don’t call me coach.” You dully repeat.
“Okay, coach.”
Now you contemplate just shoving him away.
But all the annoyance washes away when commotion hits. The horse makes a disgruntled whinny and immediately both you and Javier whip your attention towards the ring. Your sister calmly stays on the saddle, gently soothing down her companion.
After asking if she’s good, her eased thumbs up reassures you. She does a few trots to calm everyone down. You even exhale relieved.
“You lost in thought?” Javier comments.
“Yeah.” You answer him with a mutter. “Just thinking.”
“About?”
You almost don’t tell him. But you surprise yourself and do.
You explain the type of pace that comes with training in barrel racing. There’s a pattern and method to it all. You don’t realize you’ve rambled until you blink and realize Javier stares so directly at you. His eyebrows furrow slightly as if he’s focused hard listening to your words.
Embarrassed, you’re about to stammer out an apology when Javier whistles low.
“You know your fucking shit.” He nods appreciatively and hearing his pride ignites something dangerous in your chest.
Another surprise sharp whistle comes. Out from the barn, a further ways away, Chucho stands staring out. He even waves at you and you wave back.
“You gonna work today, hijo?” He calls out.
Javier curses under his breath.
“Busted.” You joke and now he’s the one side eying you.
“Please you’re the one slacking off here!” Your baby sister suddenly complains loud and cheeky “You’re not getting paid by the hour, coach!”
“Guess we’re both in trouble.” Javier snickers.
You roll your eyes but quickly sneer at your smiling sister.
“Alright then. See ya later…bandita.” Javier already walks away by the time you hear his goodbye.
But it hits you.
He thankfully stopped calling you coach. But now, what replaced it…
Little Bandit.
The nickname rips through you with a barbed fierceness you’re not prepared for.
The rest of the month follows this same routine.
On training days Javier shows up with something for you to drink. Once he even came with a few goods from the bakery across town.
No matter what, he watches practice with you for as long as he can before getting called back to the ranch.
During these moments together, he asks about how the turns are made or why you correct your sister when you do. It’s friendly. You actually start enjoying his company especially when your grandfather so eagerly leaves to hang out with Chucho instead.
The greetings and thanks are always the same.
“Thanks, Peña.”
“Javi,” he patiently corrects you everytime.
You can’t bring yourself to call him that just yet.
At the start of the new month everyone sleeps in and arrives later to the Peña’s ranch.
This time you’ve brought more barrels. Thankfully you can move them with the help of your sister. Suddenly besides you, boots clamor onto the truck and rapidly you snap your attention to the source of the sound.
Javier Peña smoothly climbs up to help you with the rest of the barrels.
He’s in a striking soft purple button up shirt. Sweat already shines against his bare arms. Thick worn in working gloves cover his hands. His hair seems a bit curlier today and he wears aviator sunglasses that suit his face.
Effortlessly Javier grabs onto one and lifts it by himself.
You’re stunned. Even your sister stops and stares just as surprised.
Javier is strong. Doesn’t seem like the muscular type but he’s built and radiates a type of seasoned strength of a well grown man, a rancher man.
His arms firmly hold the barrel, sturdy and toned, and you can’t look away.
“Where d’ya want me to put it?” Javier yells and you trip out of your thoughts to dumbly point where the barrel needs to be placed.
Your grandfather whistles proudly seeing Javier.
“If this rancher thing doesn’t work out for you Jav, you got the makings of a fine rodeo man.” Your grandpa teases.
Javier chuckles, with his eyes averted a bit bashful.
“Could add him to the team.” Your grandpa notes with a twinkling gleam of something mischievous.
You reply a dry no as you move to get off the truck.
In a flash, Javier jogs over and immediately reaches his hand out to help you get down. Placing your hand in his, Javier helps you down and you thank him.
He’s wearing gloves. This shouldn’t feel so significant. Yet the way he firmly holds your hand makes your heart sprout wings.
Even back on the solid dirt ground your legs don’t feel as if they’re under you.
Javier doesn’t stick around after that and you’re allowed to focus.
It’s later in the day, later than the usual practice times, and the Texas sun beats down with a fierceness. You call for more water breaks to keep everyone hydrated.
During a break, a rustling catches your attention. There towards the barn, Javi moves in and around the place.
You just catch the smallest glimpse of him with a hammer in his hand as he heads into the smaller enclosure. Curiosity gets the best of you.
Grabbing another water bottle you justify it as wanting to be polite, but curiosity gnaws at you.
The clang of hammering approaches louder and louder until you spot him in a goat pen. He hammers in a reinforced slab, probably fixing a hole. His back to you allows a glorious full sight of his broad shoulders at work.
He even switches to a drill and watching him casually use power tools, you never thought you’d find this so attractive.
One of the goats nearby makes a blep of a noise at your appearance and you almost want to shush them.
Javier glances over his shoulders spotting you.
“Hey there, bandita. Qué pasó?” he nods at you as the nickname flares up your heart.
“Just…knew how hot it was getting and gramps told me just to check up on you.” You lie waving the water bottle.
Javier turns to face you and you’re greeted with the sight of his full sweaty glory. You should be turned off seeing how bad his shirt sticks to him, how he smells of hay and dirt, but it’s incredibly hot.
The hard work of his day evident on every inch of him brews a dark cloud of desire in you.
“Oh well, tell your gramps thanks.” He replies snagging the water bottle from you.
His plus lips, the glorious sight of his thick slick neck, and the movement of the sweat just covering him as he drinks from the water bottle…
Getting this weak over the sight of him just drinking a water bottler you now think is the lowest you can go. You wonder about walking down by the river nearby and just jumping in to cool down.
From a distance, your sister yells out for you.
“Duty calls.” Javier smirks. With a sheepish smile you shrug then wave a quick goodbye.
You practically run out of that barn like a fleeing field mouse.
Later that night, alone in your room, your fingers slip under your sheets to slide under your sleep shorts. You imagine licking the sweat off Javier’s neck, picture his thick strong fingers, that fix up barns, hoist up barrels, and wonder how thick they would feel inside you.
You fall into desire’s blissful sticky release.
When you shower the next morning, you rationalize that those thoughts of Javier simply come from needing to scratch an itch.
Besides, you couldn’t get tangled with Javier. He’s older. He’s Laredo’s golden boy. He doesn’t go after broken cowgirls like you.
In the shower you turn the heat up more. A part of you hopes it will scorch off the building desire in your heart.
-
The morning is muggy, a soupy cloudy early day begging you to curl back into bed. Soft chirping echoes of the mockingbirds fill the air. You opted for earlier practices this week so your sister could prepare for a trip with her friends coming up. You agreed, wanting her to still enjoy moments outside of this.
“You out here all alone, bandita?” Javier.
He breaks the morning’s stillness. Holding his routine two drinks, he approaches you bundled up in a nice jacket that flatters him.
Thanking him, you greedily grab the drink and savor its warmth.
You explain that your sister is free roaming around the ranch this morning and it’s why you’re all alone. You stare at the empty riding area where the dirt sits holy and untouched.
“Do you miss it?” Javier asks. His voice is quietly probing, gentle as the morning mist.
That question holds a million answers all tied up in a messy knot.
“Sometimes.” You answer truthfully because you did. You missed the adrenaline, the wind blowing past you, speeding around a barrel so fast it was like you were out running the wind.
“Can I ask…” Javier and his soft, kind voice presses on. “What happened?”
Might as well. You’re now sort of friends with Javier even though the word feels sticky in your heart.
“You know that saying about how you just gotta get back on the horse? Well it's easier said than done.” You mutter.
It happened during a ride in Arizona. You’ve fallen and wrecked before. But this one just felt different. You took a barrel close and then everything slipped away. You remember being on the saddle, remember feeling your body float. Then the world went dark.
You woke up to a nasty concussion, a broken arm, and a couple of rowdy scrapes. You don’t remember your foot getting caught in the stirrup, but that’s what had happened.
“Holy fuck...” Javier breathes out, the weight of your words hang in his. “Shit I’m sorry.”
You thank him earnestly and reassure him it’s fine, just unfortunate shit like that happens. Everyone knew how dangerous the sport could get. The rodeo was a rough ride and every cowboy knew that.
But for you, you just couldn’t shake it off.
“I’m glad you made it out.” Sincerity blooms in his voice and your lips tug grateful at how considerate he is as you thank him again.
“You haven’t gone back?” Now he dances on a tight line.
“Nope. I tried after getting the clearance from the doctors but… it just didn’t go well.” You truthfully tell him.
You didn’t want to ride anymore, didn’t want to face everyone or the pressure of the race or the terror swallowing you whole. It felt as if you were burnt dry and exhausted from the inside out.
Your grandma gently embraced you and held you for what felt like hours.
“Then don’t go. You don’t have to do anything that makes you this worried and sick. Nothing is worth you being this scared, not even the damn rodeo.” She told you tenderly and with the most profoundly kind smile. You cried out of relief.
“It’s brave,” Javier says so firmly understanding. “Making a decision like that is really fucking brave, hard as fuck too.”
You gently grin and thank him again while blinking away a few tears.
“Same goes for you too.” You tell him.
From your gramps, who had gotten the full story from Chucho, you learned more about what happened with Javier and his final days in Columbia.
“I don’t know much but, what you did was brave too.” Your voice comes out softer than you expected.
He barks a laugh now. It’s dry, bitter, and can catch fire.
“Doesn't feel like it.”
You understand maybe more than he even knows. So you think about maybe what you would’ve told yourself.
“You did what was right.” You begin. “Everyone else might judge you or say shit but it doesn't matter. You’re not meant to please everyone or do what everyone expects you to do. And if that’s seen as a bad thing then…I don’t know, fuck them and fuck that.”
You say it so simply Javier busts out laughing. It’s a true blue laugh, so sweet it crinkles his beautiful dirt road eyes.
You’ve never seen him laugh like this before. And he’s beautiful.
You join in snickering as well but try to ignore the butterflies suddenly nesting in your stomach.
He’s really such a dream. A carved out Texas man so seasoned from the world, yet he still stays so kind and devoted to his family.
You get why many in the town, especially the girls during your time in high school, are all over him. Now you’re afraid you might’ve fallen into the same pit traps they did.
You’re falling under the spell of Javier Peña.
“So you’re really not going back to catching drug dealers and what not?” You ask when the laughter settles.
“I could’ve.” Javi answers. “Damn DEA would’ve taken me back. But…I just couldn’t see a future with it anymore.”
“And now here I am.” He says with a boyish soft grin.
“Now here you are”. You repeat with a nod.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” You truthfully tell him. You knew his dad worried about him. But the quiet truth is that you’re grateful for this time getting to know him now.
His eyes soften and your heat bursts.
“Thanks, glad I’m here. Glad you’re here too, bandita.” Then he softly nudges you. It’s playfully, friendly but it’s his words that almost take you out by the knees.
“Anyway, the government’s dumb. They don't deserve you.” You nod and Javier snorts amused.
“Guess I should listen to a cowgirl like you.” He teases.
You shrug. “Some people say I’m not one anymore.”
Especially because you didn’t ride anymore.
“Fuck them and fuck that.” He repeats your words and your lips twitch with a bubbling giggle.
Right now, it feels like you and him are two lonely birds sitting on a wire. Yet there’s something comforting about it, knowing it’s with him.
Then it dawns on you. You enjoy spending time with him. You know there’s desire already trickling in for him. But now he’s becoming someone precious to you.
You can’t even deny that anymore.
“Thanks, Javi.”
You don’t miss the way his eyebrows shoot up high.
Thunder roars suddenly clashing into the air interrupting the moment.
The dark clouds now loom on the horizon and coat the morning in an impending murkiness.
“Guess a storm’s coming in.” Javi mumbles.
Thankfully your sister rides back in quick and Javi decides to do some final things around the ranch before the storm rolls in. Before the rain comes, you and your sister pack up quickly. But it’s too late.
The rain pours down in a blink, almost like a hole in the sky popped to let a faucet drain out. The wind even picks up dangerously quick. It’s chaotic trying to wrangle the hose back to the stables but you and your sister manage.
“Come inside!” Gramps yells from the Peña’s porch and you and your sister scurry to the shaded sanctuary.
“You coming in?” Your sister asks while drying herself off with a towel. You don’t move from your spot by the steps.
“I’ll be in a bit.” You reassure her. She glares suspiciously and you shoo her away.
Javi hasn’t come back yet.
Noises clang out from the barn. A poisonous worry erupts through you and immediately you rush back out into the rain.
Inside the barn Javi tries yanking up a barn ladder that’s fallen over. It’s sturdy, wooden, and stuck in a hard position.
You move to help. Without any words or having to explain anything you both, as a team, work to yank the ladder out. Patiently and slowly the ladder gets moved to a spot the wind won’t knock it over.
The rush of it all has you breathing heavy.
“Thanks bandita.”
You breathlessly laugh and turn to maybe make a joke about now becoming a ranch hand and stealing his job. But all words, all thoughts, die instantly.
Having to work together to push the ladder, you now notice how close you are to him.
The sight of Javi soaked to the bone from the rain is corruptible. His clothes stick to him showing off his thick frame and shoulders. His drenched hair now seems darker with the curls more pounced.
He’s also heavily breathing too.
Now his lips, how soft and wet they look, have you hypnotized.
The pattering rain pours down hard on the roof, the only noise in the barn. You notice a shift in Javier. His eyes ever so slightly soften, almost hazing over. You might just be imaging it, but his face gradually seems to lean closer. Or maybe, you’re the one leaning towards him.
You’re possessed with an ache to kiss him, to see how the rain tastes on his lips.
It’s just you and him, soaked to the bone. You probably look like a drenched mess of a creature, but you’ve never wanted someone this much.
“Aye!”
Chucho suddenly shouts out from outside the barn and your heart stops.
Like a skittish roadrunner, you scramble away fast from Javier and just in time. His dad walks in from the other side of the barn holding an umbrella with an extra in his hand.
“You kids okay?” He calls out.
Both you and Javi yell back, quickly moving towards the elder Peña.
“You two look like a couple of soaked barn cats.” Chucho teases.
You weakly laugh and thank him for the umbrella.
Javi grumbles at his dad while he grabs the umbrella to open it up. Ever chivalrous, Javier holds it above you and him. Yet the entire walk to the house is quiet.
Fuck. Did you ruin this tentative whatever was forming between you and him? Or were you just imagining things?
You stay quiet the rest of the time waiting out the storm.
“You okay?” Your sister, keen as always, notices.
You lie with a smile saying the weather’s getting to you. When in reality, it’s a man that has.
Because you can’t stop thinking about Javier Peña now.
-
The rain stays for the rest of the week and everyone takes the schedule changes with stride. Your sister even heads out earlier on her trip earlier during a lighter drizzle.
By Saturday night the storm settles down.
Your closest friend from high school, now back in town for the month, even calls your home phone begging you to take advantage of the better weather.
“Look, before I go back to Florida let’s enjoy a nice night out, yeah? Maybe play some pool?” She pleads.
It’s how you now find yourself at the bar. You haven’t gotten dressed up in a while and you’re reminded of how nice it feels.
As much as you jokingly fussed about going out, being with your best friend laughing at the bar is lovely.
Ricky, one of the bartenders, actually was in the same grade as you two and it’s nice reminiscing, snickering over a nice drink.
“So how’s it been hanging out with Mr. Hero of the town himself?” Your friend smirks.
You make an unamused face at her while Ricky perks up.
“Wait, who are you hanging out with?” He whispers excitedly.
“Javier Peña.” Excitedly, she spills and you roll your eyes when Ricky gasps.
“You’ve fallen for the guy half the county is in love with!?” He hisses. You hate it, but it’s true and tastes soberly cold.
“Okay but practically all of our class was and maybe still is in love with him.” Your best friend adds.
“Well y’all do remember, he left Lorraine Wilson at the altar right?” Ricky reminds everyone and your mouth turns acidic.
“Oh fuck you’re right.” Your friend whispers.
“Might be bad news.” Ricky tensely tells you.
You want to hiss that he’s not like that. He’s kind, a bit annoying, but with a good heart.
“Shit, speak of the devil and he shall appear.” Ricky says in a low awed tone.
Worried you whip around to see what caught his attention. Absolute horror drowns you.
Javi and another man step into the bar and you want to run.
Your best friend squeals excited beside you, but you can’t comprehend what she says. Javier has stolen your attention.
Ricky called him the devil and he does seem like an angel dipped in temptation.
The sleek blazer he wears is dressed down by his nice button up shirt and jeans. His hair is styled nice, seeming so soft and begging for someone’s fingers to run through it. A buzz swarms in your head seeing him outside the ranch looking this gorgeous.
That’s when he spots you. For a split moment you two see each other. His eyes widen and before anyone can react you whip back towards the bar.
“Looks like you’re about to fall outta your seat.” Ricky snickers and you death glare at him.
“Okay,” your friend nudges you. “The guy he’s with, I think that’s David Martinez. He was in Peña’s class right? He’s so hot now, what the fuck?” She breathes out.
You almost toast to that because you felt the same about Javier.
So you keep your head down, enjoy your drink and maybe wonder about suggesting that game of pool your best friend advertised.
“Would you two beauties be alright with a bit of company?” A sweet male voice comes out and immediately draws the attention to him.
Behind you stands Javier Peña and his friend.
David has always been kind to your family and his mom even worked with your grandma at the shelter. You appreciate that Javi still hangs out with him.
“Yes of course. We’d love some company, right?” Your friend brightly asks you and you smile polite.
Your heart however rages like it’s a wild bucking bronco trying to break free.
The guys buy a round of drinks. Everyone laughs reminiscing about that one famous senior prank where the class managed to get two cows into the school.
The atmosphere is friendly, light. But your eyes constantly flicker nervously to Javi. You can’t stop staring at him, can’t stop thinking about him. Now here he is a Texas dream, or maybe your nightmare.
You turn back to take another sip and in that shift, your best friend turns to direct all her attention to David who moves to sit beside her.
But now Javier smoothly slides into the barstool next to you.
“Nice to see you outside the ranch.” His voice comes out smooth and rich.
You agree. But the air turns awkward, as if neither of you know how to tackle this new situation.
Suddenly heels clicking fast arrive. Standing to the side is a girl you recognize from your sister’s class that just graduated high school.
“Hi,” she smiles, staring at Javi with obvious hearts in her eyes.
He politely but cautiously greets her back.
“I was, um, wondering if you wanted to maybe dance with me?” She’s bold. You can at least appreciate that.
“My friends all dared me to ask you since it’s, ya know, you.” She gushes and giggles.
“Uh, appreciate the thought but I’ll have to pass, sorry.” He turns her down gently.
As if she finally realizes you even existed her eyes blink to you.
“Oh hey!” She recognizes you as an older sister to one of her classmates. And then for something else.
“Yeah didn’t you like, used to be a rodeo cowgirl or something and then something happened so now you’re not doing anything anymore?”
She’s being underlyingly mean. Her misleading chipper tone, vapid smile, are all soaked in venom meant to shake you or even scare Javi away from you.
But you’re used to it by now. You’re about to comment how she shouldn’t even be here.
Javier however speaks first and fast.
“Hey,” Javier’s voice jumps shockingly sharply, almost reprimanding. Your eyes go wide at how fast he reacts. He even glares at the girl.
Besides you, your best friend immediately turns around.
“Oh hey!” She greets the young newcomer. “Weren’t you that girl caught buying weed only for the cops to figure out you were actually buying oregano?”
Her cheerful tone makes you bust out a snort because yeah, she’s right.
The girl’s face falls absolutely mortified.
“Now get the fuck out of here.” Your dear friend finishes sweet but the undercurrent of her voice looms threatening. The disgraced girl rushes away before she can even reply.
You wheeze into your hand and fondly lean against your dearest sweet friend.
“If she or any of her little punk ass friends try anything again, I’ll shove my heel so far up their asses.” She reassures.
“Don’t worry,” Ricky now jumps in. “I’m definitely telling our bouncer those little shits managed to sneak in.”
Gratitude carves out an ocean in you and you’re thankful for those who understand.
David whistles appreciatively and your friend, with a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder, returns to her discussion with him.
You feel Javier’s eyes burning on you.
“Does shit like that happen often?” His concerned and low voice floats out among the music.
You shrug.
“Back when I first came back it did, but it's dying down.”
You were supposed to be a big rodeo star. You even had an official big name brand sponsorship lined up. But, after the accident, not returning to the rodeo painted you a failure in the eyes of the town.
Especially compared to its bright shining star you sit beside.
Suddenly a warmth slides over your hand resting on the bar. Javier squeezes your hand gently, a reassuring comfort.
“I’m sorry.” He mutters deeply sad. “S’fucking awful.”
You thank him, even make a dry joke about small town bullshit which earns you a small dry chuckle.
“The shit I got after Lorraine…” he sighs and now you find his hand doesn’t leave yours. You don’t want it to.
“I get it. Shit’s brutal.” He finishes, a steeled hardness lingering in his tone.
Now your hand squeezes his.
His eyes, gleaming tiger’s eyes gemstones, flicker up to you and you smile softly.
Javi’s hand feels so lovely. It's rough, a bit callous but cozy. Just like him.
“Hey!” Your best friend suddenly cheers. “Let’s dance!”
She interrupts the moment but you can’t blame her. A hesitant scrunched up reaction tugs at your face though.
“It’s a slow dance.” You waver.
“That’s the best kind! Come on!” She urges and you spot her hand already intertwining with the guy’s.
“You go,” you urge with a beaming grin. “I wanna finish my drink.”
“Aw, come on now bandita,” now Javi slides off his seat.
Standing up straight, he extends his hand out to you.
“You gotta at least get one dance in.” He smirks.
It’s just one dance and you don’t know if you’ll ever get another chance to dance with him. That thought alone outweighs the hesitation. Placing your hand in his, Javier leads you out to the dance floor.
Javi maintains a polite distance from you. Yet the faintest scent of his cologne floats off him, a siren’s song pure of temptation. His hand keeps yours in its protective hold while he gently guides you to the beat of the music.
Being this close to him clouds your focus in a tantalizing haze begging you to get lost in. But you can’t. You can’t even stare into his eyes. So your focus flickers out to the rest of the bar.
David and your best friend dance close, already getting cozy with each other. Then your eyes move to the door.
The bar’s bouncer sternly starts throwing the three girls out and the one you recognize stares at you with disgusted hatred.
You snort.
“What?” Javi mutters, his voice silky against the low music.
You nudge your head towards the bar’s entrance and Javi follows your gaze.
“Oh hey.” He comments, noticing the scene.
“Good riddance. Poor girl must be pissed seeing you dance with someone me though.” You mutter a bit gleeful at the thought.
“Wait, what?” Javi sounds insulted.
“Uh yeah,” you reply, confused. “I mean, it’s kinda funny. You’re Mr. hometown hero here with the town’s nobody.”
“No.” Javier snaps fast. “Anyone who says or believes that’s a pinché cabrón.”
They’re a fucking asshole and the way he speaks with a conviction refuses to allow any doubt to refute him.
“And besides…I’m not a hero.” That’s when Javi’s voice drops, transforming into a whisper tangled among the slow country ballad playing.
“I’m not that golden bullshit guy everyone thinks I am.” His voice contains a stinging rawness you recognize.
Now you’re the one snapping back at him.
“Yeah you are. You’re good, Javi.” You begin firm.
“You’re noble and kind. Brave.” The words flow from your heart and you don’t even stop them. “You’ve worked hard to help people. I’m sure there’s shit you regret and you might not think you’re good because of it, but you are.”
He stays silent. Only the tune of the slow jam settles between you and him. You’re worried you’ve maybe said something to upset him.
Then Javier exhales your name and it has never sounded so tender.
Your throat tightens and when you finally look at him, you’re greeted by a galaxy.
The lights of the bar dance in his dark road eyes that stare directly at you as if the rest of the bar has melted away. Javi’s hand gingerly against your back now slides down gently. In that same motion, he slowly begins drawing you to him.
You don’t resist and catch his eyes flickering to your lips.
A sudden clamoring collision erupts and startled, you clutch onto Javi.
The cause of the commotion is a man who tripped into some chairs. He effortlessly laughs it off. The group he’s with helps him up and you’re thankful it’s not a bar fight.
You sigh relaxed.
That’s when you notice Javier shifted to draw you closer to him. In an almost protective hold, he has you now close against his broad chest. His cologne smells divine, makes your mouth water.
Like a bolt of electricity striking you, you’re galvanized and scramble immediately out of his hold.
“Wait, bandita, what’s wrong? You okay?” He’s so concerned and you dare not look at him.
“Just need some air.” You reply moving away from Javi towards the door leading to the small patio outside.
Your best friend swiftly rushes to you.
“Hey, you okay?!”
You rapidly reassure her that you’re fine and just need air. You even joke about not being able to handle your drinks anymore.
“That fucker didn’t try anything, right?” She asks low and deadly.
You shake your head and squeeze her hand. It’s enough for her to let you leave. Your body operates on autopilot until you stumble into the night air.
It feels like you’re resurfacing. You move to lean against the railing and simply gather yourself.
You feel possessed again needing to kiss him.
And it’s not just that. You want all of him all the time now and it’s infesting you. You’re barely keeping your head above water or maybe you’re this far gone under the waves.
For a moment you think it might be drizzling again. Until you blink and realize the water against your eyes are tears threatening to spill.
You’re so afraid of how badly you want Javier, and how badly it might shatter right before your eyes.
Someone says your name cautiously.
Embarrassed, you turn towards the door.
Javi stands a few steps away from you. His handsome face crumbles instantly seeing you. Quickly he rushes to your side, as if on instinct wanting to help, until he stops.
“Bandita, are you okay!? Fuck… did I do this?” He stammers out worried.
“Did I overstep?” His voice is wrecked. He’s so apologetic already.
You shake your head trying to pathetically dab away the tears. Unable to look at Javier, your attention stays on the dark stretch of parking lot.
“I promise it’s not you. It’s me.” Maybe it will always just be you.
“Querida…”
Darling…he’s never called you that.
“Whatever it is, please let me help.” His voice pleads unbearably tender and you want to cry even more.
He really is so good, too good.
“I just…I just can’t take it...” you begin with a watery cough.
You finally look at him. The furrowed brows, his worried soaked eyes, concern paints him so young. You’re reminded of the young man you saw walking out of a bank all those years ago and how a piece of him stands before you now.
“I like you so much Javi.” Through the heartache, you finally admit it out loud. “Maybe even more than I wanna admit and I don't know if I can’t keep fighting it.”
His face scrunches up and his eyes rapidly scan over you.
“Fight it?” He mutters out. “Why fight it?”
Now you stare at him a bit confused. You have nothing to lose now. So you hold your heart out to him. You reveal it all…the fears and worries sprouting in your heart like uncomfortably cacti about how he deserves someone just as refined and established as him, that he'll eventually get bored of someone like you.
All your words come out hollow, especially thinking about how he can have anyone he wants.
Javier, suddenly in the middle of your ramble, interrupts, upset, snapping your name fiercely that any other words you want to say vanish.
“You’re the only one in this town who actually understands, who maybe even really fucking sees me.” He growls.
Your heart even jumps hearing how determined and raised his voice got.
“You…” Javi now chokes out and suddenly runs a hand over his face. Then his hands go to his hips. His eyes fall to the floor as if he’s taking a moment to gather himself.
“Fuck… you don’t even know what you do to me, how much you fucking mean to me.” Javier breathes and the words get caught in your ribs.
“Whenever you’re not around I can’t stand it. I just wanna be with you….all the damn time.” He coughs out as if he can’t even believe his words.
Those earth pool eyes of his flicker to you.
Under the watch of the clouded Texas deep night sky, it’s just you and him.
You don't know who moves first. Instead it feels like two magnets finally flinging together so fast the collision knocks you awake.
Because in a blink Javi’s hand holds face while his other yanks at your hips. Then he kisses you.
It’s all encompassing.
Immediately your hands scramble to claw at him, begging to get him as close as possible.
His mustache scrapes beautifully against your lips. You taste the beer lingering on his tongue and he’s divine. The wall of the bar suddenly hits your back.
Now you’re flush against him, fully pinned under all of Javier, and you moan. His tongue with hungered finesse licks into your mouth. One hand stays firmly holding your face while his other runs across your body trying to map you out.
His hips rut against yours and you go dizzy with aching raw need.
“Mi pretty bebita, so good to me.” He whispers out thick and heavy. You whine wanting him more, wanting him inside you every way possible. Everything feels molten.
Javi playfully bites your bottom lip and your knees almost buckle. Your mind simply chants for him.
A clash of teeth, a burning heat devours you while you chase every taste of Javier that he gives. It’s an unleashing of something raw and aching, as if finally you can breathe against him while something inside you whispers yes, yes you and I are here and you don’t want to ever leave.
A sudden droplet plops onto your head. You ignore it especially when your tongue swipes against Javi’s and he groans out the most heavenly noise.
A few more large obvious water drops come.
You and Javi freeze, halting mid make out like a paused VHS tape.
Then the rain arrives.
“Shit!” Javi coughs out immediately pulling away. He quickly shrugs off his blazer and drapes it over you, a makeshift umbrella.
Filled by the most buoyant bliss, you laugh.
Javier snorts, shaking his head but he must sense it too, all of it amongst the rain.
And it’s beautiful.
-
“I’m surprised you don’t wear this as much.” Javier comments as he picks up your Stetson cowboy hat.
He’s shirtless, only wearing his jeans. You’re treated to his bare broad shoulders and wonderfully sweet ass in his jeans. It’s an utterly devastating combo.
Sitting on your bed waiting to settle in for the night with him, you shrug.
You didn’t expect him to be so curious and constantly snooping around anytime he’s in your bedroom. Then again, you still can’t believe he’s even in your bedroom.
Sneaking away that the first weekend after the bar didn’t last long though.
Your grandma caught him a few Sunday mornings later trying to sneak out and she ran to you screaming excitedly when she could start planning the wedding. You still haven’t recovered from that.
Even with the blessings from both sides, including Chucho and your gramps, you still wanted to just enjoy being with Javi in these intimate carved out spaces.
His presence already is crystallizing here. His wallet and packs of nicotine gum clutter the night stand. His extra pair of sunglasses sit beside yours on the dresser. His faded worn Texas A&M University t-shirt is tossed by the bed and his boots are by the door. You treasure it all.
Javi, now standing in front of you, places the cowboy hat on top of your head.
The familiar presence of wearing it is like greeting an old friend. You bashfully grin at your handsome rancher. Javier’s eyes gloss over you, taking in the sight. His hand moves to tenderly hold your face.
“You look good, like a true damn cowgirl.” He mutters and your heart flutters against its cage.
“Know you can ride like one now too,” his voice dips with a magnetic undertone as his words hold the heavily sexual double meaning.
You playfully smack his shoulder and he smirks.
“I’m still surprised you don’t call me cowgirl instead of bandita.” You note gently.
“Do you mind that I call you that?” One of his eyebrows lifts up curiously.
No, you didn’t mind at all. You were just curious and you even tell him that.
Javi snorts and his thumb now strokes your cheek.
“The way Pop used to talk about you and how you’d race made you sound like some wild bandit trying to outrun outlaws or something.”
You snort now and your fondness for Chucho Peña triples.
“And then,” Javier continues. “When I met you, I knew I was fucked.”
Now your face scrunches up confused and you ask why. A small charming grin tugs his lips.
“Cause the minute I saw you glaring at me in the barn you stole every fucking inch of me.”
Javi’s thumb now moves to run over your lip and desire bubbles in you. You kiss his thumb, delicate and reverent.
“My pretty little bandit.” His voice is low, a fond rumble in his chest that you want to drown in as much as you can.
You think of all the awards you’ve won, the tournaments you’ve faced. Yet they all seem to fall so short to those words, to this man you so endlessly adore.
In your cowboy hat, you yank Javi close and kiss him. Quickly you and him both tumble into your bed sheets, melting against each other in pure bliss.
In the afterglow, you snatch up the cowboy hat again and now place it on Javi’s head. Your gruff rancher's face twists into a grumpy frown and you grin giddy.
“You look good, a classic Texas man.” You compliment him, almost mirroring the words he told you.
His face scrunches up more.
“Always thought I looked stupid wearing these.” He huffs taking off the Stetson.
“Everybody looks good in a cowboy hat.” You reply truthfully and place the hat back on him.
“Especially you.” You add letting your hand slide across his bare chest. The sight of him in the cowboy hat, your cowboy hat, flickers to life the simmering heat from earlier. He’s already so beautiful and now a cowboy hat on, shirtless, with the dimming post sex glow radiating from him, he’s personified sin.
“Cowboy hat doing it for ya, huh?” Javi’s little cocky smirk has you glaring playfully at him.
“Shut up.” You huff but then swiftly kiss him. Soon enough you become one again with the man taking root in your heart.
Early the next morning, when he thinks you’re asleep, Javier’s fingertips trace over your face with butterfly wing delicateness.
“So fuckin’ crazy about you, baby.” He whispers to your unknowing sleeping form. You feel your heart blossom, a morning bloom wanting to keep him tangled in your soul for as long as he’ll stay.
You think again of two lonely birds on the wire, maybe not so lonely anymore.
With a soft kiss goodbye against your forehead Javi heads out and you soak molten in his words.
You end up not seeing him for a few days. Over the phone he explains, annoyed, of having to run around trying to find a specific fence wire and how it’s kept him away.
Even with how much you miss him, it does allow you space.
Earlier this month, you decided on a new training schedule. Each week would alternate between practice at the Peña’s ranch and yours.
Currently practice is at your family’s ranch.
“Next time you talk to that boyfriend of yours, tell him to get tacos from that place he got us lunch from last time.” Your sister yells as she finishes up a few drills around the ring.
You roll your eyes. “He isn’t a food delivery service.”
She simply shrugs.
The day is winding down. Early evening approaches and the Texas sun starts to bathe everything in a golden glaze straight out of a George Strait song.
“You know…I’m happy for you.” As you and her start putting everything away for the day, your sister casually drops that line.
“About what?” You smirk.
“You and Javi.” She clarifies. Her face is messy with sweat but she beams bright. “You deserve someone like him.”
Your sister, always so kind, maybe too kind for a world this harsh sometimes.
“What? Someone who always manages to steal the last biscuit or flirts with grandma more and more everyday?” You tease and your little sister snickers.
“Well yeah. But what I mean is…you deserve someone who sees how great you are.”
Her words crash into you with a tidal wave of emotions. Her attention rests with her horse, getting in a few final brushes before she turns in for the day.
“I know you… think you’re some sort of failure or that you’re not good. But you are. You’re actually the fucking best.” She says so simply. “And I’m happy Javi sees it too.”
Tears clog your eyes and dry out your throat.
“You sound like a bad hallmark card.” You laugh watery but the gratitude flows out.
Your sister glares then throws the grooming brush at you. You laugh harder when she misses and once she’s out of the stable you playfully shove her.
“You heading back?” She notices your slow pace that hangs back.
You reassure her you’ll be home in a minute and just need a few minutes to yourself. With an understanding nod she walks back to the house.
Now alone you head to the very last stable and head to your ace. You miss your old companion and seeing this sweet creature nudge his muzzle against your hand conjures a sad nostalgic tug in your heart.
Grabbing the saddle, and untangling the reign, you head out to the ring.
You’ve been talking about your old rodeo days with Javi a lot recently. You ask him about Columbia as well. In the sacred soft space of pillow talk. you and him gently unravel more memories, more secrets to each other. It’s made you nostalgic, even a bit wistful.
Plus, you haven’t done this in a while. You frequently rode at a leisurely place along the trails by the river from time to time. But getting into the ring is still so sacred.
With your horse all set, you hoist yourself up and onto the saddle.
Just a few laps is all you do. You focus on the sound of the dirt under the hooves, the light breeze on your face, the feel of riding again.
Then, after gaining more confidence, you speed up.
It’s not even close to the speeds you used to hit, but it’s quick. You even make a lap around the ring going this speed.
One rotation, one good lap and you’re soaring.
It’s nothing. It’s not even an attempt to get back into the rhythm of racing. But it’s a ride and home in its own way.
You slow down, let the horse trot out of his groove to calm down. The entire time, your chest feels so light.
Your eyes glance out and then your heart drops.
Javi, with his flat out jaw dropped, stares at you as if you’ve spouted wings. You didn’t even hear him approach.
He breathes out your name.
Scrambling, a bit embarrassed, you quickly dismount, and after guiding the horse to the side you rush towards him.
You’re about to apologize for not noticing him when Javier ends up speaking first.
“You’re incredible.” He exhales in awe and it knocks the wind from you.
He must see whatever emotion colors your face because he repeats himself again firmer.
“You’re amazing, bandita.”
You weakly laugh thanking him.
“Does that mean-”
“Nah,” you gently cut him off and explain how you just enjoy a ride like that from time to time.
“It’s like just taking a casual drive type thing.” You shrug.
Suddenly Javi’s hand moves to rest on your arm leaning against the fence. He rubs so soft and comfortingly.
“Thank you,” he says gently. “For letting me know you.”
You want him to know every inch of you. The same way you want to know Javier in every way that you can. You want to carve out a home in your heart for him.
The hand that was on your arm moves to your cheek tilting your face towards his. He wears his classic aviator sunglasses you’ve grown fond of stealing from him.
He’s so gorgeous. It’s like the Texas sun was made to bask Javi in its glow. He’s a modern Helios, beautifully crafted with his deep earthy eyes and golden face.
“Proud of you, mi bandita.” He mutters with words soaked in adoration.
You swallow hard and let the truth sink into you.
“Thank you Javi… I’m proud of you too.” You earnestly tell him.
He snorts bashfully and you think you might be doomed to think about this man forever now, but it’s alright.
There’s something foreign in your chest growing so bright you feel as if you’ve swallowed a sun and maybe you have. Because Javier is bright, so unexpectedly warm.
A man crafted right out of the Texas golden magic hour.
And as Javi leans forward to kiss you so tenderly, you step forward into the sun, into his kaleidoscopic glow and it’s beautiful.
263 notes · View notes
Text
Home Is Wherever You Are P4
Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader
With a very heavy emphasis on platonic!Christopher Smith/Peacemaker
Tumblr media
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
Adrian Chase Masterlist
Prompt: It’s your last day alone with Adrian before he starts preschool so you try to make the most of it.
Warnings: mentions of child abuse, panic, meltdown, crying, divorce, mentions of August Smith, cannon typical Peacemaker violence and language, homophobia, internalized homophobia
A/N: Sorry we’re a day late! My schedule was a little busier than usual yesterday. I also posted this on my ao3 adriansglasses. Hope you guys enjoy!
You race towards Adrian in the parking lot of the old video store turned headquarters.
“Where are you going?! Can you please just talk to me for a second?!” You call after him.
“If you’re just gonna call me a stupid, reckless, liability then I don’t wanna hear it.” He says, continuing to walk. He was clearly just spitting out words he’d heard Murn or Harcourt say about him. You grab his hand, halting him from walking any further away from you.
“You could have died!” You tell him.
“So what?! It would have been for the greater good anyway!” He turns to look at you. “Everybody knows I’m the most expendable!” He tells you as if he thinks he’s speaking in cold hard facts.
“No, you’re not! You shouldn’t have pushed me out of the way.” You argue with him.
“You’re more important than me! You can live without me, but I can’t live without you. That’s just a fact, (Y/N). That’s how it is with everyone in my life.”
“You idiot.” You say, as you pull him into your first kiss.
September 12th, 1994
Today was the last weekday you’d be alone with Adrian before he started preschool, so you wanted it to be special. You held his hand as you walked into Henelotter Video to let him pick out a movie or two. All he wanted to do was have a guys’ night with Gut and Chris. He looked up to them so much. The plan was to get pizza and rent a movie or two. Your mission was to pick an age appropriate movie for Adrian that wouldn’t bore Gut and Chris. Luckily that wasn’t a problem when Adrian picked up the original Star Wars. He was going through a huge hyperfixation with Space lately. You smiled.
“I think that’s a great choice, buddy. Have you ever seen it?” You ask smiling.
“No, Dor has a picture on his wall!” Adrian told you. You thought back and remembered he was right. Gut did have a Star Wars poster on his wall. You also knew Chris was fond of the series in his adulthood and would often crack jokes about it, despite saying he’s not a nerd.
“Star Wars it is then.” You smiled.
“Rey, can we play on the games?” Adrian asked, pointing towards two arcade games by the checkout.
“You wanna play on the games?! You wanna on the games?!” You say as you lift him up, shaking him, pretending to drop him and holding him upside down as he giggled. He loved it when you did this. You’d found that out the first night you were here. You start to tickle him before setting him down on the stool in front of the arcade game. You placed a coin in the machine and let him play.
While he played, you wrote as many notes as you could. His future self had to find one of them in their future headquarters. Before you left you stuck them under floorboards, behind toilets, in ceiling beams, next to light fixtures, anything you thought might be permanent and you’d put two on the couple rare pieces of furniture you knew were still in the building, just some shelves and chairs. You wrote not to open them until the date you left your own timeline on the envelope and then you brought younger Adrian home.
On your way home you had an idea to keep him busy for the day, so you stopped at your local comic book store. You walked him all the way to the back where you were happy to see the Dungeons and Dragons section was still where it is in the future. It was smaller, but still there. They even had a children’s beginner’s guide that was simplified for younger players. Everything was perfect. You collected the cheapest option of all the materials you’d need and even had a little of your allowance leftover to let Adrian pick out a miniature. Before you’d left your own timeline, your Adrian had been trying to teach you how to play. Maybe if you taught his younger self how, you’d be better at it when you got back to your Adrian. You looked down and Adrian was missing. You panicked for a second before turning to see Adrian staring at the comic books with his chosen miniature in hand. He looked in awe at the heroes on all the covers.
“They’re really cool, aren’t they?” You smile.
“Yeah.” He whispers in awe, deep in thought.
“Well you are just as smart and just as cool and just as brave and just as strong as them.” You smile, pulling him into your arms and heading to check out. “And you can fly too!” You say as you move his body through the air to checkout. He giggles until you place him on the ground to pay for your stuff. Then you head home for real this time.
You taught Adrian how to play DND long into the afternoon. He seemed to be really interested in it, but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. This is Adrian after all. Even after Gut and Chris came home, you kept playing. They were busy in Gut’s room listening to music anyway. You could hear Kiss coming from under the door. You didn’t get up from your game of DND until you heard the doorbell ring. You opened the door to meet the pizza man. You gladly paid him and got your pizza.
“Gut, Chris! Pizza’s here!” You yelled upstairs. “Ready for the movie, kid?” You asked Adrian. He smiled, giving you a nod. “You go grab the VHS tape from my bag and I’ll go get the boys, okay?”
“Okay!” Adrian yelled, running towards the front door where your bag was hanging.
You made your way upstairs to find Gut alone in his room. “Where’s Chris?” You ask.
“He’s in the bathroom.” He barley looks up from his gameboy.
“It’s time for dinner. Can you go help you brother? I’m pretty sure I can hear him digging in the cupboard, trying to reach for the paper plates, but we both know how clumsy he is.” You give him a sympathetic look, silently pleading. He sighed putting down his game of Zelda.
“Fine.” He said getting up and heading downstairs.
“Thank you!” You thank Gut before walking towards the bathroom.
You were just going to knock on the door, but you didn’t realize it was already cracked. When you accidentally pushed it open you came face to face with Chris. He was covered in Diane’s makeup. You both froze.
“This isn’t what it looks like!” Chris started.
“Really? Because it looks to me like you’re wearing eyeliner and you’re about to put on lipstick…” You try to hold back a smile. You knew he talked a big game, but at heart was just a kid.
“I was just trying to make my face look like Kiss! Please don’t tell my dad! He’ll think I’m gay!” He begs, mortified.
“Putting on makeup doesn’t make you gay…and even if you were gay…” You sigh. “The world won’t always be this fucked up. I promise. We’ve made tons of progress…even if it doesn’t feel like it in Evergreen, Washington.”
“I’m not gay!” He stands his ground, still scared.
“I’m not saying you’re gay.” You say calmly, giving him the patients he’s never really been given before.
“I like girls!” He says adamantly.
“I know… I’m just saying… IF you liked girls AND guys…no matter who you like… it’s okay.” You smile at him. Thirteen is a confusing age on its own. When you’re Christopher Smith, only living son of the White Dragon…it’s a lot worse. You watched him avoid your gaze, staring at himself in the mirror. “Dinner’s here. Meet me downstairs soon or else Gut and Adrian will eat it all.” You smile.
“Save me some and I’ll be down in a minute?” He asks, his voice trembling.
“Of course.” You smile, closing the door and heading down the stairs. You pause on the stairs to take a deep breath. You have no idea if what you’re doing is for better or worse anymore. On one hand you could be helping Chris, but on the other you could just be putting him in more danger with his dad. When you get to the bottom of the stairs you sit down, trying to compose yourself. With your eyes closed, you can hear two little feet running towards you.
“Hey, bro!” Adrian yells, crashing into you, climbing you like a tree to get into your lap.
“Hey to you too, bro.” You try to give him a smile.
“Bro, hurry up! I wanna start the movie!” Gut walks over and calls up the stairs. You don’t even have to ask where Adrian learned that.
“Can you help me with pizzuh?” Adrian asks.
“Yes, I can help you with your pizza.” You smile. “Gut, let’s just go eat. Chris is gonna be a minute.”
“He’s taking forever.” Gut whines.
“I know, but just give him a minute. He’s had a long day.”
“He was ranting about his dad again. He’s a fucking dick. Sometimes I wanna kill him.” Gut says quietly.
“Yeah! Kill him!” Adrian repeats in agreement. If only anyone was there to understand how funny a 3 year old Adrian Chase advocating to kill August Smith was. You just laughed. Usually you would tell Gut to not use such harsh language around Adrian, but he had already said fuck so many times. You couldn’t undo what happened before you got there, not that you could change anything anyway, and you couldn’t be mad at Gut for feeling this way either.
“I know you’re upset because Chris is your friend and you care about him, but sometimes you just have to let him deal with things in his own way, so he can grow.”
“We’re more of a family to him than that asshole.” Gut says, dropping a piece of pizza on his plate.
“I know and I promise one day he’ll come to terms with that. Right now he’s just not ready.” You give Gut a sympathetic look. You ached for these boys. Gut and Adrian’s dad left and Chris’… well it was no secret nobody wanted him in the picture.
After dinner you settled in the living room to watch Star Wars. Adrian was very adamant on the seat chart. He pulled you all to the seats he decided he wanted you to sit in. When Gut tried to move he objected.
“No! Rey has to sit between you and Chris!” He objected.
“Where are you gonna sit, Adrian?” You asked.
“Oh your lap!” He said this like it was obvious. This was all just his elaborate plan to be able to sit next to all three of you. Chris hadn’t said much since you caught him. You weren’t sure if he was sad or just embarrassed, but you didn’t press further. Gut was probably too tired to argue with his 3 year old brother, not happy about having to return to school tomorrow, and you just wanted the option that made the most people happy so you settled in, letting Adrian cuddle into your arms. You smiled as the movie started, hugging Adrian closer. You were never a huge Star Wars fan before you dated your boyfriend. You hadn’t even actually seen the first movie. You had never watched it without him. Even now he was still there, even if he wasn’t in the form you wanted him to be. You were a little sad, but you knew you’d see your Adrian again someday.
After the movie you tucked little Adrian into bed. You sat on the bed, missing your Adrian deeply. You played his voicemail. You had borrowed an old Walkman from Diane so you didn’t have to keep asking for Chris’ tape recorder.
“Hey babe, it’s me. I’m just calling because I know you had a bad day today and I was thinking maybe I could bring takeout home from the restaurant and we could just have a movie night? I just wanted to know if you were feeling chicken parm or meatballs or if you wanted to just scratch dinners and have me bring home a pizza. Just call me back when you get this. I’m really proud of you- uh…not that I’m not always proud of you. I’m like totally proud of you all the time and I’m rambling again and this voicemail is about to be like 10 years long, so uh bye I love you.”
“We did have our movie night… just not how either of us expected…” You whisper, as a tear falls.
You restarted the voicemail again.
“Hey babe, it’s me. I’m just calling because I know you had a bad day today and I was thinking maybe I could bring-“ You take off the headphones when you hear a small fist pounding on your door. 3 year old Adrian probably had a nightmare again. You open the door and he rushes into your room.
“Monstor in my cwoset!” He cries.
“There’s no monster in your closet.” You smile, getting at knee level and giving him a hug.
“Monstor!” He insists, tears streaming down his cheeks. He looks really scared. The least you can do is show him nothing’s there and if that doesn’t work, let him sleep in your room. Normally he would sleep with Diane, but she had to go back to the law office after shift at fennel fields to fill out some extra paperwork. It was stupid they were keeping their secretary so late, but she insisted it was a big case.
“Buddy, I promise there’s nothing there, but I’ll go check.” You hold Adrian’s hand, guiding him back to his room. “You sit on the bed and I’ll go check okay?” He let out a whine, sitting on his bed.
“Rey, I’m scawerd.” He cried. He was 3. All 3 year olds are scared of the monster in their closet.
“Adrian, look there’s nothing in-“ You open the closet, stepping backwards letting out a scream. Then Adrian screamed. Then Adrian screamed. You hear footsteps running towards Adrian’s room. You quickly closed the closet door. Adrian was shaking in his bed.
“What the fuck?! Are you okay?!” Gut busted into the room.
“Is somebody in the house?! I’ll fucking kill them!” Judging by what you knew about Chris’ past, he was probably serious. His dad had made him kill for a lot less and the Chase’s felt more like his real family anyway. He’d kill anyone for peace. What about someone trying to hurt his family?
“Everything’s fine!” You assure all three boys.
“Then what are you screaming about?!” Gut asks. You think for a second.
“Uh… I was just really excited! I just remembered the Backstreet Boys are coming out with a new album tomorrow! Can’t wait!” You say the first lie you could think of.
“Who‘s the Backstreet Boys?” Chris and Gut almost ask in unison.
Fuck. That was 96’ not 94’.
“Uh… I can’t believe you don’t know the Backstreet Boys!” Gaslight them. Gaslight the fuck outta these little kids.
“There’s a monstor in my cwoset!” Adrian starts again.
“Sorry. We’re playing a game. Speaking of games you should go finish that video game before your mom gets home and tells you it’s past your bedtime. Remember I’m the cool one, not her.”
“Bro, I can’t believe you still have a bedtime.” Chris laughs as you push the two out of the room. You run back over to the closet.
“You don’t think my mom’s cool?” Adrian asks, his body barley fitting into the closet with his sword on his back. You crush him in a hug and start crying immediately.
“Please tell me this is real. Please tell me this isn’t some fucked up dream.” You cry in his arms.
“It’s not a dream. I’m here. I found you.” He smiles, holding you tightly. You kiss him. His 3 year old self screams.
“Why am I screaming?” Adult Adrian asks.
“I just kissed the monster in the closet.” You laugh.
73 notes · View notes
peachdues · 10 months
Note
for the fanfic ask game:
1. my favorite fic of yours is probably phantasmagoria (with sanemi’s “bundle of joy” and rengoku’s “tell me to stop” being very close second and third places). i loved the complexity of the characters, the unreliable narration, how there was no “black and white” so to speak, everyone in the story in some way or another wasn’t completely good or completely horrible (except d*uma ofc), everyone fucked up somewhat along the way (some more than others lmao); however i am also super excited as well for the great war and vow between man and star, and ofc the completion of netherwood lolol, and have no doubt you’ll crush those fics too!!
3. best character you’ve written for: honestly, i’m just gonna straight up say i love how you write ALL your characters. however (and i’ve talked about this to you before) i have never loved how someone writes kyojuro more than how you write him. i am not the biggest kyo girlie (gasp i know) BUT the way you write him??? god i’d marry your version of kyo in an instant. you make him so much more than just the over-enthusiastic characteristics that he possesses, and i love that about your writing of him.
of course, i loveeee how you write sanemi and giyuu as well (your sanemi is what turned me from thinking “oh this guy is kinda cute” to being a victim of sanemi brainrot), and ofc your characterization of giyuu is so on-point and ugh (can you tell that i love your writing LOL)
8. what i like the most about your writing: it’s so difficult to pick just a single thing lmao (i love your descriptions, your dialogue, your storytelling/plot delivery, everything really) but i think what i like most is your creativity. you think of the most interesting premises (take vow between man and star, i still don’t know how you thought up the storyline for that, and yet it’s one of my favorite premises that i’ve seen come out of that beautiful brain of yours; same with phantasmagoria, i loved how you wrote the story and the dynamics between characters and how you took into consideration how certain plot points would cause internal changes within the reader and sanemi, the foreshadowing, the narration, everything really.) your creativity is astounding to me, and i love every single idea you think up and share with us<3
9. fics i’m excited for you updating/posting include the great war, man and star, coalescence, and ofc netherwood lolol. i love the concepts behind each one (and have loved the snippets you’ve sent me in our dms hehehe).
10. i know this is gonna sound crazy but u made me love sanekana so much more with your mirror, mirror snippets! i love those two so much haha
13. lolol i have definitely talked about how amazing your writing is with my other moots. we will be talking about fanfic and i swear i’ll say smth where i bring you up and how amazing your writing is and then will proceed to discuss details about it if the other person has also read whatever fic i’ve decided to bring up/just talk about your writing in general and how beautiful it is
14. a fanfic i didn’t think i’d like as much as i did was again, phantasmagoria. i think at first the idea of it being so centered around drug use was a lil bit of a turn off for me at first, BUT i’m so glad i read it because the way you incorporated those sensitive topics into your fic was incredible, and, with the reasons i mentioned above, is my favorite fic of yours (and is one of the few fics that have ever made me actually cry, and i’ve been around tumblr and ao3 for a while LMAO) so i’m glad i decided to read it because again i think you nailed the entire fic and, as angsty as it is, i still truly enjoyed reading it<3
(this is from an ask game and I’m so sorry I’m not answering until now)
DONT KNOW WHY THIS WENT TO MY DRAFTS GHOST BBY IM SO SORRY
I just —-
Tumblr media
I love you. So much.
I like, genuinely don’t know how to respond to this (and I’ve REALLY tried), but I’m just so grateful for you. Thank for for letting me spam your DMs with random snippets and giving me feedback, and thank you for helping me aboard the Levi and Nanami trains.
I’ll get back to the Giyuu fics after Netherwood is done, so be prepared for me to spam you even more 😭 thank you for being such a wonderful, amazing moot and I absolutely fucking adore your writing??? Our mutual Sanemi brain rot gives me life
15 notes · View notes
calyssmarviss · 6 months
Text
Okay i got obsessed again with star wars here for a minute, legit started working on tthat one fic again because my vpn was making the episode charge dreadfully slow but now i turned it off and BUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING I MEAN YEAH I MEAN WHAT THE HELL IS EDDIE DOING THERE I MEAN GO IT FOR KING I MEAN NO YOU DON’T DESERVE IT AFTER THAT CATCH YOU LATER BUCK that was bitchy as fuck wow they’re both jealous and it’s incredible
(Much later: well this has turned into a whole ass shoke full of spoilers reaction post didn’t it)
That’s insane dialogue, what do you mean “jumping ship” and “keeping options fluids”, mhm, boys? Like on a surface level Eddie’s asking if Buck is thinking about a new career option, and the metaphor makes it not even sound that deep, but you know they have some history with the concept of leaving the 118 and it either did not go down at all or didn’t go well. So Buck’s answer is like, probably not the best one to hear if you’re Eddie Diaz, but it’s banter in front of a thir party so even if he’s thinking about that he has to let it fly. Then if you put your buddie goggles on, it can be him asking, are you interested in that guy?
HE’S TAKING UR MAN TO VEGAS of all places
*
That’s not Harry. Aintnoway he went through his whole ass puberty in less than a year!
Look, Bobby can spot the impostor too.
*
Ravi!
OH THIS IS SO HAPPENING
Hey girlies how does it feel to be so right and never lose? Ngl feels so good to me.
Tumblr media
He’s so revolted this was the perfect moment to pause at
Oh god the next frame tho.
The rope going down the pipe exept they’re both on top now
Eddie now you’re doing it on purpose. Buck just said “you never have enough friends” and you just… piled on top of it. Like. I get you, i really get you. All’s fair. But that’s Buck and you know he has abandonment issues, man.
OH NO
oH NO
oh Nooo
Oh you didn’t didn’t edmundo diaz
WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN TO HIM LOOK AT HIS FACE
Tumblr media
Oh god i stopped to type and didn’t hear the dialogue yet this is insane Eddie you babby trapped him and he was your second choice and it’s your third date with Tommy already. *cough*whore*cough*/affectionate
No fr real Eddie Diaz pettiest bitch in Los Angeles. He’s gonna make Buck come to his senses the haaaaaard way.
Insane shit.
You bet he’s bothered and bewildered.
*
BITCHING TO HIS SISTER he’s so precious (Eddie it’s working)
Revenge of the Sith is the best Star Wars tho Buck, I’m in Tommy and Chris’s camp on this. Guess you’ll have to be the babysitter from now on.
“I didn’t have to (in the bitchiest tone Oliver Stark has ever used). Eddie, on his fridge (!) has a day calendar, under a take out menu: Thursday: BBPU, Double-U, back slash(okay you insane man), Tommy. And it’s circled.”
I’m dying and it’s from pure glee.
“Is it circled with a heart around it?”
*
“We have a problem.”
Yeah, that kid’s not Harry!
Lmao he’s on the run from the cops!
Yeah she can’t recognise her son because that’s not Harry!
Why is the show encouraging me???
Okay, that’s Harry, fine.
*
Oh now who’s inside looking in, looking through the glass closet locker room no less
Wait, isn’t that what leads to those stills i’ve seen of that convo? Are they gonna have a serious talk?
I need all the gifs from that episode.
Making sure he’s in line of sight, uh.
You’re not the one he wants Ravi, sorry.
IS HE FOR REAL
asdfghjkl evan buckley you got it bad
Eddie stop it, you’re not looking but I’m going to have to look at Buck’s face next frame
Bros when no hoes i guess
*
Okay that faceblindness case is genuinely awful
*
Lmao are Eddie and Tommy gonna be there?
Oh yeah, here they are
This is about to get bloody
“So I’m your basketball beard. I feel so bonded.” pffFf
Oh this is both hot and kind of embar at the same time
So, what do you thought of that chest Buck, did it give you insecurities
Ooooouch
You knkw what Eddie, you kind of deserved it FOR ONCE you shouldn’t play with the feelings of a guy that huge
Oh this isn’t good and I’m not talking about Eddie’s foot here
*
“So how’s he feeling?”
“I don’t know.”
That’s what i though you were going to say.
“I felt left out. I was trying to get his attention.” 😭
You know, he’s so valid for that, because Eddie’s attention on him is just… it’s always there, you know? And seeing it being, well, not there, it’s reall day and night. It feels unnatural, which is why i can’t think it’s genuine (but off brand haha). Whether it’s fully intentional on Eddie’s part or not.
*
Where the hell is this going. I mean the one spoiler i saw makes me think Tommy is coming onto Buck, but… look that episode went places that…. Okay I’ll just press play and see!
Buck now you’re the stop stepping a bit too close.
What is this episode guys.
Basically every line is taking me at the knees, this is so awesome.
That’s his flirting smile and i don’t know if i love or hate to see it rn.
They are so petty,
Evan Buckley you liar.
ON MY FUCKING SCREEN
Tumblr media
ON MY FUCKING SCREEN
O ye of little faith
911 is delivering
“Please call Eddie.”
And then his face did something complicated idk Buck’s got kissed by a dude and he liked it and we just got delivered an absolute mess of a situation in 42 minutes and i can’t fucking wait to see what’s next oh my god.
1 note · View note
Text
If The World Falls
I asked for ideas for a Wolfstar proposal, and @stars-a-n-d-scars gave me an idea that I LOVED, so it’s been sitting in my drafts for a while haha
I am going to be posting a few others based on other requests, but because of my exams I’m quite burnt out, so bear with me haha
Sirius had been missing since dinner. Remus felt his eyes scan the great hall, confused, as James watched him carefully.
“Everything okay?” Peter asked him.
“It’s just- Sirius is gone.” Remus said, still searching the hall. He was so preoccupied that he didn’t notice the knowing smile on James’ face.
“I think I saw him on top of the astronomy tower.” James said, and Remus’ eyes snapped to him quickly, before narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing. I just saw him there, that’s all.”
“Prongs. You’re a terrible liar. What’s going on?”
“Just go find your boyfriend!” Remus rolled his eyes, slightly concerned about whatever his idiots had planned this time.
He forced the door open, the cool, evening winter air immediately hitting his face. The sun had set, the small slice of the new moon and mass of stars sprinkled across the sky illuminating the tower, setting Sirius apart; a dark silhouette leaning against the rail.
“Padfoot, love?” Remus stepped towards Sirius. “Everything okay?” He rested his hands on the rail next to Sirius.
“I’ve just been… thinking.”
“Oh god.” Remus chuckled, and Sirius slapped his arm with a small smile.
“No, really!”
“Sorry, sorry.” Remus held his hand up in mock surrender, their eyes meeting for a moment. “What’s going on?”
“Well, we’re almost finished at Hogwarts. I mean, we have one term left before we have to leave and get thrown headfirst into the real world, into the- into the war.” A heavy silence descended on them for half a second, before Sirius kept talking, determined. “And I’ve been worried that things are going to change. That everything’s going to get worse. I mean, the whole world could come crumbling down tomorrow.” Sirius breathed an empty laugh. “I’m not sure about anything, really. The only thing I know, like really know, is that if the whole world comes crashing down, I want you by my side.” Remus smiled warmly, wrapping an arm gently around Sirius. “I want to marry you.” Sirius whispered, as Remus stiffened, freezing in shock.
“Padfoot…”
“Remus? You okay?”
“Sirius, we- we can’t.” Remus walked away. “I- we’re still in school! Have you even thought this through?”
“Moony-“
“I mean, think about it! Really think about it! We’re about to be thrown headfirst into a war! It’s just- is this really the best time? This is just another one of your impulsive ideas, Padfoot.” Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes sliding closed as he sighed. He turned, stopping in his tracks, his next words dying in his throat. Sirius was on one knee, blue velvet ring box open in his hand.
“Surprise?” He said softly. “I’ve had the ring for three months.”
“You…”
“I’ve wanted to marry you the moment I fell in love with you.”
“If the war wasn’t happening, would you- would you still want to marry me?” Sirius’ face softened as he noticed the tears sparkling in Remus’ eyes.
“Rem, there isn’t a universe out there where I’m not in love with you, or a lifetime where we haven’t found each other. You’re the first person I’ve been able to love with every inch of myself. You’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you so much, Moons.” Remus glanced at the ring. It was a simple gold band, a few diamonds embedded, creating minuscule recreations of the Canis Major and Lupin constellations. He had thought it out. He had actually thought about it, planned, everything. He was so wrapped up in his own shock that he didn’t realise that Sirius was waiting for an answer. “Remus? You okay?”
“Hm?”
“I mean, I’m on one knee, under the stars with a ring in my hand…?” He said hopefully.
“Yes.” Remus whispered, still stunned.
“Really?” Sirius’ face lit up, but there was still a layer of barely veiled concern. “You don’t have to if you feel pressured into it, or if you’re not ready-“
“Padfoot, my love.” Sirius stood up, and Remus cupped Sirius’ face with both hands. “I want to marry you. Really.” He leaned in and kissed Sirius gently, before pulling away, glancing down at the ring box in Sirius’ hand. “If the world falls tomorrow, there’s nobody else I’d rather be with.”
Bonus!
Remus and Sirius stepped through the portrait hole, hand in hand. James stared at the two of them, eyes scanning down to their hands, to the small gold band on Remus’ finger.
“Oh thank god. I was so sure he wasn’t going to ask.” James said as they sat down together. “The amount of times he’s said he was going to and didn’t, you wouldn’t believe it, Moony.” He smiled at them. “Congratulations!”
136 notes · View notes
Text
Aliit Be Cuur
Tumblr media
Pairings: Mando x Reader
Summary: While waiting in the hospital in Mos Pelgo after you were inured in the attack on the Krayt Dragon, Mando accidentally learns some life changing information for the both of you. You’re pregnant. 
Warnings: Description of injuries, Pregnancy, Talk about miscarriage, Mando sees a sonogram-like image of reader’s uterus while she’s unconscious, general discussion of pregnancy while reader is unconscious and unaware, made up Star Wars level medical equipment
Word Count: 2800
Read Part 2 Here!
________________________________________
Watching you lay unconscious, body littered in cuts and burns, had to be the most terrifying thing Mando had ever experienced, and that was coming from a man that had seen some horrific things in his life. It was his fault you were hurt. If only his plan to kill the Krayt Dragon had gone as it was supposed to, you wouldn’t be in this position. This was supposed to be what he was good at. Killing. Sure, he killed the dragon, but at what cost? 
When the initial plan of luring out the dragon and detonating the explosive just at his weak spot under his belly had gone south, he knew he had to think of something else. He could not leave the Mandalorian armor with Cobb Vanth. He needed it back. 
The plan to use the bantha as bait had come to him quickly but he should have known better than to not tell you what he was doing. There was just no time. Everything had happened so fast. After months of travelling together, he’d hoped that maybe by some miracle, you could read his mind and know that everything was going to be okay when he allowed the dragon to swallow him with the bantha. 
You were with the villagers and Tusken Raiders, struggling to fix the devices you’d built to throw the harpoons so you’d have a fighting chance. Being so caught up in your own tasks, sweat beading on your forehead from the heat and pressure, you hadn’t known Mando had strapped explosives to the bantha and was using it as bait. A loud screeching roar from the dragon ripped your attention away from the trying to kick a piece of wood back into place just in time to see the dragon’s mouth open, massive teeth bared, as it plunged down, straight on top of Mando and the bantha. 
You screamed in horror, running towards the beast, “MANDO!” About halfway there from your post, you whipped out your blaster and shot at the beast as it dove back into the sand. The lasers were useless and you knew that but it was the only thing you could think of to do. Your legs fumbled to a halt, the realization that Mando was really gone actually hitting you. 
But then something else hit you. 
There was a loud explosion and a wave of fire, rocks, sand, and dragon flesh hit you, throwing your body back. The last thing you saw was the wave of orange and red coming at you before everything went black. 
Just as planned, Mando had managed to escape the beast’s clutches before the explosion but suddenly regretted every decision he’d ever made when he saw the little figure of your body running towards where you assumed Mando to be. Even from dozens of feet in the air, he knew it was you. He couldn’t imagine anyone else there willing to run straight at the monster to try and save him. The bombs were sure to detonate any second but by the time he’d noticed you, it was too late. The bomb detonated with a massive wave of heat and debris. 
He watched in horror as your body flew back at least twenty feet before sliding another fifteen across the sand after the impact. Time seemed to stop around him as he jetted to you in less than a few seconds. He couldn’t breathe, fear that he had caused your death choking his airways. “Y/N!” He yelled, landing harshly on his feet right beside you before falling to his knees. You were lying face down, eyes closed. “Y/N, talk to me.” Mando looked over your body and, by some miracle, there didn’t appear to be any broken bones, at least not any that looked immediately disfiguring. With a nearly effortless nudge, he rolled your body over. Your clothes had been ripped and/ or singed in many places. Multiple large holes in your pants revealed reddening burns and blood dripping from sand scraped skin. Your shirt was torn in multiple places, the left strap of your shirt torn so severely it could barely count as a sleeve. The side of your face that was on the sand was also scraped up, thankfully not too deep, but enough to cause bleeding. 
Now the two of you were in the little hospital in Mos Pelga, along with the rest of those who'd been injured in the attack. You slept now, bandages covering large portions of you body that was now largely exposed. They had had to strip you down to your underwear to reach all the wounds but had wrapped your chest in wrappings in place of a bra for the sake of your privacy. Mando had pulled his cape over the majority of your body, knowing you'd be upset if you were to wake up practically naked in front of everyone. 
He hadn't left your side since the explosion. He carried you to the infirmary. He laid you down on the cot. He watched as both human nurses and medic droids worked to patch you up and take blood for tests. They had told Mando that they wouldn’t know anything for sure until the tests came back. Even with the bacta that they’d lathered on you, it would take time for it to work and there was a possibility for further damage that they couldn’t see on the outside. 
The child had been sleeping in his little cot, sealed up safely inside the levitating metal object. Mando had just been sitting beside you on a crate, leaning forward on his knees. This was his fault. He should have known you’d run in. He should have known that something like this could happen. 
“Mandalorian.” A robotic voice gently called for Mando’s attention. 
He looked up at the awkwardly proportioned grey medic droid who stood on the opposite side of the bed. “Is she going to be okay?” 
The droid spoke again, its body shifting unnecessarily to emphasize some of its words, “Patient 728, also known as Y/N. Female. Age: (Y/A). 2nd degree burns on the abdomen, arms, and legs. Superficial graze abrasions on the face, neck, arms, hands, abdomen, and legs. Bruising on face, back, hips, and legs. Probability of death: 7%. No damage to the fetus. Probability of miscarriage: 19%.” 
Mando found a hard time finding any solace in the words of a droid. When a young male nurse walked up beside the droid, Mando immediately turned his attention to him.
“It’s a miracle the baby survived unharmed. I’ve seen much less cause a miscarriage.” The nurse mused, flipping through the clipboard in his hands. 
Mando stood up, brows furrowed beneath the helmet, “That must be someone else’s chart.” 
The nurse flipped back to the front page, “Patient 728? Y/N L/N?” The young man confirmed.
“Yes.” 
He shook his head, “Nope, this is hers.” 
Mando gestured to you, “There must have been a mistake. She’s not pregnant.” 
The young nurse looked at the beskar helmet that he was actually slightly taller than and swallowed hard, “I’m sorry. I assumed that you were the father. If not, this is confidential information that I can’t share with you.” It was obvious that the man was afraid to stand up to a Mandalorian, surely hundreds of stories of their superior killing ability running through his head. Nonetheless, he held fast to what was right. 
Mando’s head was reeling and all he wanted was to run and take off the helmet and take actual, non-filtered breaths. Instead, he was wide eyed and silent as thoughts ran through his head a million lightyears an hour. The beskar betrayed none of his emotions. To the rest of the world, he appeared frozen, standing strong and staring right at the nurse when in reality Mando had zoned out somewhere off to the side. 
If you were pregnant, the baby had to be his. For the last few months, the two of you had had an unofficial relationship of sorts. Nothing was ever said, no official labels, but the two of you behaved like any other couple, or at least a much less touchy-feely version of one. After a night of confessions brought on by an unrelated argument, it had become an unspoken truth that you were only taken by each other. You were his riduur, no doubt, and, as far as he knew, he was yours. You would never lay with another man as long as you and Mando were together, that much he was sure of.
“If she’s pregnant, I am the father.” His voice was calm as always but he thanked the modulator for the slight distortion. If it hadn’t been there, he would have sounded shaky. 
The nurse sighed, choosing to believe him because he really didn’t see much use in lying over something like this. He flipped to the next page on his chart and walked over to stand beside Mando, pointing at some numbers that meant nothing to him. “hCG is a hormone that’s created in the placenta and is only present in pregnant women. According to her levels, I’d say she’s about eight weeks.” He paused for a moment, allowing time for the new information to sink in. “You really didn’t know?” 
“If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have let her fight the Krayt Dragon.” Mando snapped, almost angry at the mere suggestion that he would put his own child in that sort of danger. 
The nurse put his hand up in defense before continuing, “Do you think she knows?” 
Mando shook his head. He believed that you still would have jumped into battle even if you had known, at least from a distance. It was just who you were. But he really didn’t think you had any idea that you were pregnant. Mando had been trained to read people his entire life and surely such news would have brought about some change in your demeanor. Mando hadn’t noticed any change in your behavior. Besides, he would like to believe that you would have told him if you knew.
He couldn’t believe this. How were you pregnant? Okay, well he knew how you could have possibly gotten pregnant but the two of you had always tried to be as safe as you could to avoid this exact scenario. Neither of you were in a position for children, the Child being a special circumstance. Your life was full of danger and violence. How could Mando protect you for an entire nine months while pregnant and then for the rest of forever, while also protecting the Child against what felt like an entire galaxy that wanted him at any cost? 
“Do you want to see?” The nurse’s voice brought Mando back to the present and his helmet tilted in curiosity. 
“See what?” 
“The baby. I need to do a scan to ensure that it's still doing alright. You can see the fetus on the screen while you scan.” He set the clipboard at the foot of your bed and procured a moderately sized glass panel with a metal border that he’d had pinned between his arm and side while he spoke to Mando. 
With a few taps on the glass, bright blue words and images appeared. He tapped on one selection and the middle of the screen cleared, aside from a thin column on the right hand side that had stats and vitals. “See, if you put anything under this, it will show you an interior view of the body. This mode shows organs and blood vessels and stuff like that. See?” The nurse put his hand under the glass panel. The screen showed a light blue version of his hand but instead of skin and nails, it clearly showed the lines of his muscles and the veins that overlapped them clearly. 
Politely as he could, he pulled the cape that had been draped over you down just enough to expose your lower belly, stopping just above the hemline of your underwear. The only thing indicating that you were even alive at this point was the deep inhale you took, drawing both Mando’s and the nurse’s attention. It was the only time Mando hoped that you weren’t waking up. He had no idea how to explain this new situation to you. Hell, he was still having a hard time understanding it for himself. Thankfully, a deep breath was all it was though. You were still asleep. 
The nurse moved the glass panel over your lower stomach, just about where your belly button was, and the image began to form on the screen as he adjusted a few things. Mando’s helmet tilted forward as he leaned over to see the image. 
A nearly perfect view of your reproductive system appeared as a blue digital image. Mando felt uncomfortable looking at the image, feeling like he was violating you in some way. He knew he shouldn’t be looking at this without your permission but then the nurse zoomed in on your uterus to the point where the only thing that could really be seen was a little being. 
Mando’s first thought was that it looked like a little alien. There was an identifiable head that appeared to be looking down and the cord that was attached to you through its belly. The rest of the body was curled into a fetal position. 
The nurse tapped something on the screen and there was a rapid thudding sound that emanated from the device. 
“Is that the heartbeat?” Mando asked, knowing that the answer was probably obvious. For someone who was used to working under pressure, he felt like his brain was only receiving radio static. 
“Mhm, nice and strong.” The nurse said with a warm smile. He tapped a few notes onto the board and then turned it off, the blue image disappearing and the amplified heartbeat ceasing. 
Mando couldn't believe this was happening. How could you not know you were pregnant? He was no expert on the female body, aside from the basics, but weren't you supposed to be throwing up or missing periods or something? He couldn't wrap his head around how you were eight weeks along with seemingly no clue of your condition. 
"Look, I can see that clearly this was something unexpected. I don't know if this is something you want to tell her or want me to, but either way, there are some conversations you two need to have." The nurse told Mando matter-of-factly while gathering the few things he’d brought over before leaving. 
Mando shifted on his feet and reached down to pull his cape back up over your torso so you wouldn’t be cold and exposed, though it was mostly for the second reason. It was next to impossible to be cold on Tatooine, at least during the day. That was when he noticed the small, barely there bump on your lower stomach. It was such a slight variation from its normal size that he never would have noticed it had he not just learned about the life now growing inside you. It was so slight that he imagined you probably would have just attributed it to bloating perhaps, since you were unaware as well, considering all the less-than-pleasant food you both came across in your work. 
Part of him wanted to place his hands over the ever-so-slight swell of your belly, just to see if by some chance he could feel anything. Mando decided against it, shaking his helmet at himself with a heavy sigh. He would wait until you woke up and the two of you had a chance to discuss everything before he did anything relating to the baby. 
Gently, he pulled the cape back up over your body and sat down on the crate again, leaning his elbows on his knees where he sat with his thoughts for several minutes in a zoned out daze. His attention was only broken by the cooing from the Child’s metal pram. Mando tapped on the controls on his arm, opening the pram, and removing the little green baby who was now wide awake. 
“Hey, buddy.” Mando breathed out, watching as the baby stretched his arms out to you, “I know, I know. She’ll wake up soon.” 
The Child looked up at Mando sadly before snuggling down onto his lap, sitting there comfortably. The weight of such a small being had become comfortable and normal for Mando now after all this time with him. He was, by Creed, his son now. Mando was already a father. You had stepped up as a mother for the young child. So why did this feel different? 
Mando imagined the new future, assuming you had decided to stay with him and care for the baby together. He had every intention of raising the baby with you and would do whatever it took to keep the two of you safe. He loved you more than he knew was possible to love another person and the last thing he wanted was to leave. Mando hoped that, one day, you would be officially bound by riduurok. Once the Alor approved it, Mando’s clan of two would become an aliit be cuur. Clan of four. 
1K notes · View notes
achillieus · 3 years
Text
let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)
summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.
(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)
pairing: sebastian stan x reader
warnings: alcohol, heavy sexual references, implied depression, infidelity, this one is very angsty, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, this part is not my favorite but it also is
part: 4/6
(other parts)  (masterlist)
Tumblr media
When you both go to sleep that night,
What you say to yourselves:
It is just a kiss.
The truth:
Sebastian can’t forget your scent and your taste. And it’s everywhere. And it’s everything. He’s not sure if he can breathe anymore. He tries to put himself together but he loses; he lets a moan escape his quivering lips, as he comes hard, alone in bed, your lips a picture in his head.
You can’t forget his warmth. He’s long gone but his heat is making your body sweat. And it’s becoming annoyingly addictive. You try to fall into a dreamless sleep but you can’t. You grab onto your sheets, trying to shallow down his name when you have two fingers inside you.
It’s a study in remorse and guilt.
/
“Please breath,” you whisper in front of the bathroom mirror. “Breath in. And out.”
It’s been two days and one night since the doomed night. You have not heard of him ever since.
Your heart beats with the power of war tambours. You want to find him and tell him you’re sorry. You want to promise you don’t mean to cause any trouble to him. You want to let him know you don’t belong in his life. He will pass through you like cars pass red lights.
Violently.
“I’ll find him tomorrow.” You lie down and rest. “I’ll tell him everything tomorrow.”
/
Argyris can see the disorder reflecting in Sebastian’s eyes the second they pass in front of your door.
The Romanian drops his eyes on the floor and quickens his pace. Argyris is smart enough to not comment on it; at least not when they have an all night shooting in a while. He doesn’t want to distress him.
He doesn’t have a choice though; because Sebastian stops as soon as they reach the third floor.
“I’ve made such a mess.”  His voice can’t give away how nauseous he feels.
Argyris exhales loudly. This is precisely what he was afraid of. This is precisely what he had warn you both about.
“It’s not the right time” he starts quietly “We have a lot to do.”
Sebastian sighs.
He feels as though there will never be a right time for the two of you.
/
You can’t sleep. The sky is dark behind your closed windows. It’s almost four in the morning and everything around you is quiet; until it’s not anymore.
You can hear people laughing as they enter the building and you can hear the lady from the first floor yelling at them.
Suddenly you’re thankful for the terrible insulation as the whole place grows alive at the sound of noise. You’ve grown tired of silence.
You slowly open your door. You want to hear more.
Argyris is trying to apologize when the old woman starts calling them uncivil. You want to laugh.
But then you hear steps coming closer and, in a breath, he’s standing right in front of you.
“Did we wake you up?”
The others are still arguing in the lobby.
No, I couldn’t sleep, too busy thinking of your lips.
“Yes. All the noise scared me.”
He comes closer. He tries to clear his head of images he creates at night. Images with you.
“I’m sorry.” He says and it sounds like his chest feels lighter afterwards “I’m sorry for the noise.”
You nod, a blank expression across your face.
“We went for a few drinks after the shooting and people got drunk and dragged themselves hear to continue the party. It’s not Argyris’ fault.”
You turn your head away from him. You don’t dare to look at him for a long time.
“I can bet that.” Your words feel heavy inside your mouth. “He has never caused any trouble before you came.” Your words feel bitter inside your mouth.
He laughs. He calls your name. It makes your throat dry.
“You can see that I’m not the one who’s drunk and arguing downstairs.”
The space between you two starts to dwindle.
“You should go.” You whisper. “There is no reason for you to be here.”
He says nothing for a while. He just stays there looking at you with an unreadable expression. His breathing hits your face. It feels cold.
“Right.” He answers, building his guard back up, posture fixed and face blank.
And then with one last glance he leaves you alone.
/
You wake up not much later, the sun meeting the horizon.
You clean the kitchen and you water your flowers. You decide to take a walk. You haven’t done that in a very long time.
Not a lot of people are awake at that time. The streets are almost empty. You find that comforting. You pass the familiar streets and there’s a heady feeling in the air; the mouthwatering smell of fresh bread in the small bakery, the sound of a dog barking and an old man carrying around a barrel organ.
Lately you seem to forget how much beauty there’s around. Lately you seem think true beauty is only a pair of light eyes and the sound of a foreign accent. You feel selfish; your ardor for him has blinded you and everything seems too little.
You feel stupid.
/
And then you blink and it’s Sunday and you remember Argyris telling you they’re leaving on Monday to shoot scenes in some islands. You can’t decide if you want them to leave sooner or never at all.
The latter makes you forget to breath.
You take a shower. But water never washes tears completely away. They stick to your body and your pores like leeches.
The white towel feels rugged against your skin and you think of throwing it in the trash can. You don’t.
Instead, you get dressed and make a sandwich for dinner.
A knock at your door stops you.
You’ve missed that sound.
You close your eyes.
You feel as if you’re being thrown back in time, to the first time he came at your doorstep.
There’s another knock.
Maybe it’s not him. You take a step. Even if it’s him, it’s a dead end. You place your fingers around the handle, without making any motion to unlock.
You stand there for some seconds. There’s no more knocking. You smile at yourself. You were always good at hiding behind closed doors. Maybe not good enough; because now you can hear him talk.
“I’m glad you’re not here” his voice makes it sound like he’s aching “Or that you’re here and don’t want to open up.”
Your hand swifts around the knob.
“I’m glad, because if I was looking at you right now I would-”
He stops when he meets your gaze. You’re close now. And it’s hard not to wrap your arms around him, but you force yourself to just look straight ahead and do nothing.
“You would what?” You voice sounds like a mourning song.
You watch as he runs his fingers through his hair and lets a quite sigh.
“I don’t know.”
“You’re lying.”
He laughs and it’s dry and sharp. And then he grabs you by the shoulder and you’re both inside your apartment and he closes the door with a shudder.
His eyes are swollen and for a moment you’re scared. Only for a moment.
“Yes I am.” He still has his arm around your shoulder. “What do you want me to say? That I would do everything? That I would kiss even your eyelids?”
You’re shivering. You feel almost sick.
“I can’t say any of those things.” He swallows hard around the lump in his throat.
You look at him starry-eyed. 
“You can.” You’re stepping closer to him. “You can say everything. There’s no one here. Just us.”
��That’s not enough.”  He says, with a look that promises all the sorrow and the suffering in the universe.
Your face splits.
“Then why did you come?”
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
“We’re leaving tomorrow.”
I know, you almost say. But he talks again, before you can say anything.
“I want you to come with us.”
You feel like choking on the world’s most expensive rosé. You start coughing.
He caresses your forehead, tucking some hair behind your ears.
“No, Sebastian, this is bad.”
His fingers can feel a tear dripping down your eyes and your cheeks and your lips. Slowly. He’s not certain if it’s yours or his.
“I know.” He blinks. “But we don’t have much time. And I want to be around you. We can try to be friends again.”
There's a feeling in your stomach that makes you want to throw up when he says the word friends. It makes your mouth taste sour. It's pathetic.
“I don’t know if I can do that.” You murmur.
And then his eyes pierce through yours.
And you think of that evening that you saw his eyes for the very first time. And you think how this version of events had never crossed your mind back then. Ever.
This was not supposed to happen.
You were not supposed to grow close to him.
And he was not supposed to show you the stars and dry out your salty tears.
And you were not supposed to kiss him.
And now he was not supposed to go.
“Please, promise me you’ll try to be friends with me.” He breaths into your lungs. “Promise me you’ll come.”
You smile softly. It reminds him of something sweet, like honey and cherries.
“I can try.”
Sebastian can feel his heart almost stop; like a clock that’s reminding him you do not have much time left together. This month will come and go and so will he.
And his heart knows.
So, he presses his forehead against yours and mumbles a sincere thank you.
It sounds poetic. But it’s more of a war declaration.
/
When you agreed to go with him on the trip, Sebastian fell into a world of bliss and anticipation. He had been worried you wouldn’t want to see him again after everything that occurred between you two. He had spent nights sleepless, just lying awake and trying to fathom things.
But not tonight. Tonight, he’s packing his bags and dreaming of the sea and you.
The sea. And you. Those are the things he loves most right now.
Love. It’s funny because sometimes Sebastian thinks he could have fallen in love with you, if only time allowed. But he has less than two months. He has calculated everything.
( 60 days )
( 59 nights )
He’ll probably never see you again afterwards.
He knows you were never meant to be.
He sighs.
The screen of his phone lights up and he’s certain it’s his girlfriend, because it’s 3am in Greece. Who else could it be? And that gives him an ache because he loves his girlfriend. But not right now.
He’s wrong though, it’s a message from you.
I’m sorry. I can’t come with you tomorrow. I’m sorry.
His heart falls.
It’s funny because sometimes Sebastian thinks he could have fallen in love with you, if only you allowed. Sometimes he thinks it’s better this way.
/
You read your message again and again. Your eyes scan each world like your whole life depends on them. You can’t go to the trip. It’d be like you set yourself up only to fall apart some time later. And you’d have no excuse. You don’t even know why you had said yes to him in the first place.
Perhaps because that’s what Sebastian wanted to hear and you love Sebastian. It’s very painful and all kinds of fucked up, but you do.
At first you try to close your eyes to it. You think, whatever it is between you, it’s not love. It must be something else.
But it’s not.
You always knew that.
Your heart splits at the realization.
/
Everyone is drinking and dancing. They finished shooting last night and Argyris decided to throw a small beach party. Once upon a time, Sebastian would have been thrilled about it. He always loved partying.
But those were the old days. All he can think about now, is a girl with braided hair and nails painted dark blue. That’s how you looked the last time he saw you.
It’s been a week since that time. It’s been a week and he’s getting desperate. And his curly haired co-star is moving her body too close for his liking. He’s trying to flee.
The woman smiles at him. He knows she probably asks for more than he can give. She smiles at him and she looks beautiful, so beautiful. He almost thinks it’s unfair and selfish of him to ignore such a beautiful smile.
But the woman’s hair is curly and not in a braid. And her nails are painted red instead of dark blue.
/
You don’t see him for one more week. You want to send him a message. Call him. Do something. You do nothing but check his Instagram profile almost every hour. It’s sort of becomes a habit.
At your room the walls whisper and scream about that night you fell asleep next to each other. You try not to listen.
Some nights you can picture him smiling at you and his smile feels far too heavy. Some nights you try to imagine a version of him that could grow old with you.
You can’t.
/
It’s 8:10 am. The first time you meet again. You call the elevator on your floor and when the door opens, he’s there. You didn’t even know he was back, before now. You almost get out and take the stairs instead. You hide yourself at the corner as far from him as possible. Sebastian notices for the first time how small you look.
“When did you come back?” Your mouth opens before you can stop it.
He turns to look at you. You can see he has a little tan. It looks great on him. Dammit.
“Last night.”
Your hands are shaking. You’ve missed his voice. Dammit.
Two more floors. You can make it.
You wait for him to turn his back at you again, but he doesn’t.
“Not coming with me,” his breathing breaks and his throat dries out instantly and he feels on the verge of collapsing “It didn’t help.”
It takes you a while to get what he’s saying. Why he’s saying it.
The elevator stops.
“Did it help you?” No, of course not.  
“Sebastian, please.”
You try to say something more but his voice stops you.
“Do you know any quiet places?”
You nod.
“Take me.” You shiver. “Please.”
The door opens and he grabs your hand.
You think you’ll never really understand Sebastian. He’s been so many people with you. A pretty face on screen, a stranger and then a friend. And then a lover? Maybe.
Something intimate, anyway.
Intimate, in the way pain is.
/
You’re at a small park just behind your house.
His hair has grown the last few days and he’s playing with a strand. You watch him and he watches back. He puts one hand in the pocket of his jeans and another at your cheek.
You had almost forgotten how it feels. Soft and rugged simultaneously. Almost like a transfusion, it revives you.
“We’ve screwed up, haven’t we?” His voice sounds like an old song.
You think you can hear your bones straining under the weight of his words.
“Yes, I guess we have.” You try to smile at him. Your lips don’t move upwards though. They can’t. You can feel your eyes get wet.
Sebastian can’t bear looking at you like that. He puts his hand behind your neck and brings you closer.
At that moment, by falling into his arms, you lost the battle.
Your body is cold, worn down by all the sleepless nights. You’re not sure he knows exactly what you feel at this moment. Neither do you.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come to the trip.”
“I understand.” He nods.
“Sebastian,” His breath hitches when you call his name. “I don’t know if I want to see you again.”
Lies.
He blinks. You don’t.
His face looks like he’s about to growl. Then his features relax.
A tear falls down your cheek and he’s quick to swipe it away. His eyes soften.
“I know,” he says in a whisper “We just keep hurting each other.”
You laugh bitterly. “When did I hurt you, Sebastian?” You push his hands away from your body. He doesn’t fight it.
He lets out a shaky breath.
“We spent the night together and you left without even saying something.” Your eyes are wide and rabid. “You keep acting like we’re something special and you have a girlfriend back home. And when I kissed you,” you pause for a second, remembering everything. “You kissed me back.”
You’re talking a little too loud. An old man passing by, turns to look your way. Your cheeks flash red.
“I wanted you to kiss me.” Your heart clenches. “I’m so sorry. I needed you to kiss me.”
He takes your hands in his. He looks at you half like he wants to apologize, half like he wants to kiss you again. Maybe, he does.
“Every time I see you, I want you to kiss me.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth.” Surprisingly his voice is steady and his hands grab yours tighter than before.
“It can’t be the truth.” You exhale roughly. “It will ruin everything.”
He looks at you for a while and then he does the most human thing possible; he wraps his arms around you. You hide your face at the crook of his neck.
Your breath hits his skin and it’s warm and tender.
“Not us.” He whispers in your hair. “It will save us.”
At that moment, Sebastian lost every battle.
/
Things you felt when Sebastian kissed you later that evening:
Divinity and tragedy. The feeling of going over the speed limit. The despair in his mouth. The booming in his heart. Fear for the distant future. His arms creating a shelter from the rest of the world. Affection. And affection. And affection.
Thing Sebastian felt when he kissed you later that evening:
Your heartache in his hands. The faded cherry lip balm in your lips. Your nails digging into his skin. A raw satisfaction. Madness and power. Your warmth making his heart beat fast. Freedom. And love, so much love.
/
It was never his intention to cheat on his girlfriend. Sebastian is not that kind of man. But then again, everyone is.
You try not to think about that while his mouth devours the skin above your collarbones. It makes your pores sweat and your core beat. Time spins by as you both lay on your bed.
It feels like he’s a sweet lover. Dewy eyes and warm fingertips. He makes love to you at sunset, when dreams start to form and cotton sheets stick to his skin. Yearning gets the best of him, his movements become sharper, his bones turn to steel.
You don’t mind. That’s what you need right now. Burning lips at the curve of your hips. You can almost taste it; the silage of his after shave. Eucalyptus. That’s what he tastes like.
/
He’s drawing archways in your skin. He touches the part between your breasts. Softly and gently at first. And then digging his teeth. He wonders if you want this as much as he does. It’s nearly tearing him apart. His ribs and his lungs are full of eagerness and you.
You, you, you.
To him, there’s nothing to do but kiss every inch of your body.
He knows there’ll be a cacophony soon. You’re both equipped with love that has an expiration date. But he wants to beat time. He wants to feel all of this for as long possible. For a minute, he becomes greedy. He wishes everyone would die, so that he and you could live in this world alone. But together.
It takes great strength to shake this thought out of his head.
“Please,” You say between heavy breaths and he's getting worried he's going to tell you he loves you. “Please I need you Seb.”
You've never called him that before. He can't decide if he likes that or the fact that you need him, more. He complies.
You feel him inside you as he's stroking between your thighs. You close your eyes, his heated sounds soothing everything. Your lips are red, from you biting at them.
He looks at you, with his hungry face and he finds everything about you so delicate and so beautiful.
He can keep going forever.
You're grateful.
/
Lying naked in your bed, you’re watching him struggle to keep his fevered blue eyes open. His hands still tangled in your hair.
The room smells of sweat and eucalyptus and everything in the universe feels softer.
“I think I love you.” He says, and as he falls asleep, he smiles. “I’ll tell you when I’m sure.”
“Please don’t.” That’s the most selfless you’ll ever be in your life.
/
i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :)
tagging: @lharrietg @awkward117 @dannaloureen @broccoligf @cutestfangirlvevo @caitdaniels @arymb @buckybarnesishot310 @roguesthetic @itsaliceheree @sara-1705 @dorothea-hwldr @freshfreakoaftrash @drinkfantasy @christinamcdonnell​ @partypoison00​
398 notes · View notes
fuck-goes-on · 3 years
Text
Creed
pairing/s: din djarin x gn! reader (no y/n)
summary: you and din get mixed up with a dangerous bounty that ends up fatally wounding you. din pov.
warning/s: ANGST, character death, blood, crying, hurt no comfort, helmet removal, established romantic relationship
note/s: i havent written in a long, long time and add that to the fact that i dont know jack shit about writing a star wars fic or how to write fight scenes, i had a pretty hard time typing this out. based on my post
masterlist
Tumblr media
"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Din narrowly avoided the throwing knives, moving to hide behind a crate. His chest was heaving with heavy breaths; He hadn't had a difficult bounty in a long time. The bounty was well equipped, surprising him and you.
You. Cyar'ika.
Din clocked where you were and relaxed slightly when he saw you hidden behind a crate like he was. If it were up to him, he wouldn't have brought you along and made you stay at the Crest. But, as much as he has faith in his skills as a bounty hunter, it proved difficult to catch this guy and needed you to help him.
Sighing in frustration, he grabbed the crate and charged at the bounty, using the wood to block the knives. He threw the crate away when he got close enough, immediately doging the weapons held by the guy.
He heard you walking out from your own crate, moving to help you detain the bounty. Glancing at you, he admired the way you ran towards the guy, using the bounty's own knives against him. Din loved that about you; The way you used whatever was around you, be it small or big, as a weapon. You adapted quickly in a fight, and that was something that he, as a mandalorian, was attracted to.
You slashed at the bounty, trying to at least nick the skin, but the guy was quick to sidestep it. The bounty was about to retaliate when Din grabbed their shoulder and threw them away from you. Before the guy could get their bearings back, he lunged to put them in a choke hold, flexing his arms to crush their throat.
Mistake. Din rarely made mistakes.
The bounty struggled against him for a moment, clawing at him and failing due to his beskar. But the bounty, before they lost consciousness, threw his the last of his knives towards you,
one,
two,
three-
Three knives impaled your chest, making you stagger and fall backwards. Three seconds as Din watched felt like three hours. Three steps forward, he tried to catch you, yet he was three steps too late.
Your body landed on your back against the rough ground, pained sounds coming out of your mouth. Din didn’t even register tossing the bounty away as he rushed over to you. Kneeling beside you, his hands hovered above the knives deep in your chest with your blood seeping through your clothes and on the floor.
“K-Ka'rta?” Din breathed out, head empty of all the survival first aid training he had when he was still a little foundling. Your head turned to look at him, mouth open as you struggled to breathe. He saw agony and desperation in your eyes that were usually filled with happiness and love for the people, for the galaxy, for him.
You tried to say something to him, but all that came out was a bloody cough. Din shushed you and tried to carry you in his arms. However, your whines put a stop to his movements, worried that he would hurt you more.
"D-Din... It hurts..." You said with a slight wheeze in your voice. Your skin was quickly becoming pale, the blood loss shocking your body to have less oxygen in your system. He shushed you, his hands resting on your cheeks and wiping your tears and blood away.
"I- I can't take the knives out without you bleeding out on me, ka'rta." Din recalled, his brain finally catching up to what happened. "But I can't move you back to the crest either- Fuck!" He swore, feeling frustrated with his limited options. Options he'd rather not take.
You watched him panic in place, your breaths coming out sharp and short, and lifted a hand to his helmet. "My love, you need to leave now with the bounty. You won't be able to handle them if they wake soon."
Din shook his head, gripping your hand tight as he tried not to cry. "No, I will never leave you, ka'rta. Never. There has to be a way."
But there wasn't.
He watched you blink slowly, your blood spreading all over his armour and gloves, your chest rising and falling erratically. He watched you dying in front of him.
"Don't- Don't close your eyes, baby, stay with me, please," He begged, his gloved palms on either side of your head, lifting you up gently to lay you on his lap. You took his hand and pressed a light kiss on the leather, your bloody smile still so goddamn bright.
"You know I'll always be with you, Din." You let out a shaky breath and rested your forehead on the cool metal of his cuisse. Your eyes crinkled at the corners as you stared up at his helmet. He let your fingers caress the sharp angles of his helmet, wishing it was caressing his cheek instead.
You chuckled lightly, and Din furrowed his brows in concern. Before he could ask you what you where thinking about, you said:
"I wonder if I can see your face since I won't be a 'living thing' any longer."
Din felt his breath catch in his throat. He knew, realistically, that the oxygen in your body was decreasing rapidly and weren't getting enough of it in you brain for it to function properly. But, then again, you weren't wrong. The creed specifically said that no living thing could see his face unless they were clan, and he doubted you could manage to recite the mandalorian vows so close to your passing.
So, Din reached up to release his helmet from the clasp inside, and took it off without thinking about it any longer. Your eyes widened, the hazy gaze you had had gone away just for a moment.
"Din- I-" He took your hand and placed it on his cheek, closing his eyes to savour your touch on his skin. He wouldn't have the chance to do this ever again, and he regretted not asking your hand for marriage sooner. When he opened his eyes, he saw you look at him in awe and felt your thumb stroking his stubble. "You're beautiful."
He broke and cried. Bending down at the waist, he rested his forehead on yours, his tears dripping down on your bloodied skin. He took off his gloves and ran his hand through your matted hair, wanting to feel your skin as well.
"I'm sorry we didn't have more time together," You whispered quietly to him, your own tears rolling down your face. Din shook his head again, unable to find his words to talk. Smiling softly, you ask of him, "Kiss me?"
And he did.
Din didn't care that all he could taste was the the iron of your blood; He pressed his lips on yours, his inexperience obvious with the way he molded your mouths together. You didn't mind, anyway, only enjoying the physical intimacy you regretted not having sooner.
When he pulled away from your soft lips, he opened his eyes only to see you closing yours. Panicking, he held you up to his chest, hugging you tightly as if it would stop you from leaving. "No- Ka'rta, don't go- I need you- I love you-"
Din repeated his words over and over again, his tears increasing tenfold when he felt you fall limp in his arms. Your head sagged back, your beautiful eyes half lidded with a small smile on your face. He held you up with his hand, sobbing as he called your name, and rested your foreheads together; a kedalbe kiss you both frequently shared.
"Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum," He managed to say, cradling your head to his shoulder and rocking your limp body back and forth. Tears streamed down his face, a pressure in his chest building and wanting to be screamed out. His voice broke as he recited an unreciprocated vow. "Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde."
Din stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding you close to him and pressing kisses on your temple, before he needed to get up. He closed his eyes as he tugged out the three knives out of your bloody body and went to stand over the bounty. Ruthlessly, he stabbed and slashed the guy numerous times until he was sure the bastard was dead. He didn't care for the bounty any longer and left them behind as he carried you back to the Crest with his helmet on.
He didn't pay attention to the people who openly stared at his bloodied armour and your dead body in his arms. He focused on getting you both to the secluded forest where he landed the ship and when he did, he placed you down gently on the soft dirt before digging a hole between the tall trees.
After he finished, he went in the ship to grab the blanket you both liked to cuddle under together and wrapped you in it. He pressed a last, goodbye kiss on your forehead, lingering on your soft, cold skin, because he knew he would never see you again.
He buried you in the ground, trying to shovel the dirt on top of you quickly and methodically to not let his thought go down the spiral of 'I'm burying the love of my life in the ground' and 'I didn't express my love for you enough'.
Din left the planet empty and unfeeling, lonely and mourning, and most importantly, without you.
---------------------------------------------------
Cyar'ika - Darling
Ka'rta - Heart or Soul
Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum - I love you
Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde - We are one when together, we are one when parted, we will share all, we will raise warriors (Mandalorian Wedding Vows)
197 notes · View notes
x-childish-x · 3 years
Note
hello, i noticed there’s been a growth of obi wan requests on your page. if you don’t mind, may i also request an obi wan x reader fanfic (preferably a female reader)? my idea is that the reader is related to qui gon, maybe a niece of his that he looks after since her parents passed. after qui gon’s death, reader decides to become a jedi and she and obi wan grow closer over the years, and finally confess their love for each other after they both become masters?
Long Time Coming
Pairing: Obi-Wan x fem!reader
Fandom: Star Wars
Warnings: ansgt?, fluff, mentions to multiple character deaths, mentions of a funeral
Word Count: 2,417
A/N: This is quite long! I'm sorry if that's not something you like! Firstly, thank you for the request and support! I appreciate it so much and feedback is always more than welcome and appreciated!! This request was super unique and I had a fun time writing it despite feeling the need to absolutely perfect it, lol. Anyways, I really hope this is what you wanted and that you enjoy it!
P.S. I am out of surgery and now starting recovery. Everything’s gone well so far, but I probably won’t be posting much. Check my page for a form to send in some questions for me to answer!!
Summary: Obi-Wan's been trying to catch your attention for years and after your uncle Qui-Gon Jinn's death, you find comfort in Obi-Wan like never before.
Tumblr media
(gif not mine!)
"(Y/n), we're making another stop. We don't have enough fuel to make it back to Coruscant. We're landing on Tattooine," Your uncle, Qui-Gon, spoke softly through the holopad.
"I found the planet," Obi-Wan beamed at you, hoping this fact would impress you.
You smiled widely, nodding to Obi-Wan, "Keep this old man out of trouble for me, won't you Obi-Wan?"
The young boy nodded vigorously as your uncle rolled his eyes, "You're getting quite old yourself (y/n). I urge you to rethink your choice of not becoming a Jedi before you're using a cane."
"We could train together!" Obi-Wan cheered, his eyes glinting with hope as he looked up at his master, "I would do well at bringing her up to speed!"
There seemed to be something that happened off the holopad that you couldn't see. Both men turned their heads before looking back at you with nearly identical looks of remorse.
"We're landing soon. I must leave," Qui-Gon frowned, "Stay out of trouble. I'll return soon."
Over the next few days, Obi-Wan and your uncle did their best to keep in contact with you. Though it wasn't much, barely once a day, it was still something, and that very much made you smile. Each call was a relief because they were both alive. They were okay. They would be home soon. 
"A boy?" You questioned Obi-Wan.
"Yes, his name is Anakin Skywalker," He frowned slightly before leaning more towards his holopad, whispering, "I'm beginning to think Qui-Gon likes him better than me."
"Nonsense!" You laughed, "Qui-Gon loves you! It's impossible to not love you!"
Immediately realizing what you said, your cheeks flushed with heat, Obi-Wan's reaction mocking yours. You missed Obi-Wan, he was your best friend after all, and it wasn't often that Qui-Gon and he left on such long missions. 
"There was this thing," Obi-Wan spoke up, "He wielded a red lightsaber."
"That doesn't sound good," You frowned, wishing Obi-Wan was more than just a hologram before you.
He nodded before his attention was stolen off-screen, and he huffed, "I have to go. We'll be home soon!"
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
"What is this about you being attacked!" You yelped, jogging up to Qui-Gon.
He smiled at your concern, "I am fine. He escaped. We believe he's a sith, that they've returned. The good news is the boy we found will be my new Padawan."
"I don't care about the boy," You hissed, glaring up at your uncle, "I care about you being safe, about not losing you!"
Unexpectedly, Qui-Gon pulled you into his chest. Tears welled in your eyes at the action he so rarely did, your arms wrapping as tight as they could around his torso. You felt a kiss pressed to the top of your head and immediately squeezed tighter, tears rolling down your cheeks.
"Please... I can't lose you too, Uncle."
Qui-Gon winced at your words, knowing how dangerous it was to form attachments, yet it'd been impossible with you. From the moment you'd come under his care, you'd immediately bonded. There was no way you wouldn't have formed an attachment with him and he with you.
You'd showed up on his doorstep fourteen years ago when you were only nine. You had clutched your stuffed bantha to your chest with tears running down your cheeks, mumbling all about how 'mommy and daddy were gone' and 'I need you, uncle Qui-Gon'. His heart immediately shattered. The passing of his brother had reached him a few hours before your arrival, and the nanny behind you gave the older man a soft smile before nudging you forward.
You bounded forward, slamming into Qui-Gon's legs with a loud sob that had the older man lifting you into his arms instantly. You'd been destroyed by the sudden and mysterious loss of your parents. You sought comfort in your uncle Qui-Gon and his young Padawan. You'd spent years denying the chance to become a Jedi, afraid you were too imbalanced in your emotions.
You pulled back from Qui-Gon, allowing him to wipe your tears before he kissed your head once more. He moved, walking over to Obi-Wan, and you watched as the two talked before separating. Obi-Wan walked towards you, but your eyes locked on a small boy behind him who stood next to what looked like an R2 droid.
"We're leaving again," Obi-Wan sighed, frowning at your slightly red cheeks and glassy eyes.
You nodded, biting your lip before finally locking eyes with Obi-Wan, "Please take care of him... I have a terrible feeling Obi-Wan."
"I will," Obi-Wan smiled, gently reaching out and allowing you to place your hands in his before pulling you closer, "I'll make sure he stays out of trouble. He has a new Padawan to train, after all. But besides that..." Obi-Wan's voice dropped, his gaze growing softer as he squeezed your hands, "You know I'd do anything for you."
You nodded, listening as Qui-Gon ordered Obi-Wan to head to the ship, and with one last playful goodbye, you watched him leave, followed soon by everyone else. You stood on the pad, watching as the ship rose and left, the terrible feeling in your stomach growing with each second.
Nobody called you. For the next few days, nobody called you, and it only worsened the terrible feeling, making you nauseous as you waited patiently for the ship to arrive. You'd been told briefly by Yoda that they were returning, yet the pain on his face confirmed your thoughts. Something was wrong, and you weren't sure what, but you'd felt the pain and dread that filled you yesterday, and now Yoda was looking at you with remorse as he watched you waiting from his tower.
You couldn't maintain your focus as the ship landed, frozen still as you waited. You watched each person that exited, waiting for the two familiar faces you wanted to see so badly. Obi-Wan descended the ramp, his eyes lifting from the ground to lock with yours. Instantly tears filled your eyes, a hand flying to your mouth as Obi-Wan rushed to you.
"No..."
You collapsed into Obi-Wan's chest without a second thought, throwing your arms around him as sobs racked through your body. He attempted calming you, one arm wrapped tightly around your waist and the other stroking your hair. Obi-Wan panicked slightly, feeling immediately it was all his fault. Your pain was his fault. If he'd just been slightly faster he could've saved his master, your uncle.
"Please... Obi-Wan... tell me no," You cried, burying your head into his chest as his grip tightened.
"It was a sith, the same who attacked him previously," Obi-Wan whispered, not caring about the looks anyone gave you, "I killed him. I killed the sith right after. I... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't faster."
Nobody could remove you from Obi-Wan's side, not even Yoda, who was forced to allow you to sit in while he spoke to Obi-Wan about Anakin. You were distraught and terrified at the idea of seeing your uncle's body later. Obi-Wan comforted you, an arm around you the entire day until the ceremony rolled around.
You'd separated from Obi-Wan briefly, and when you returned to Qui-Gon's funeral, Yoda himself almost cried. You stood over Qui-Gon's body, a hand gently brushing his cheek, your mother's Jedi robe caressing your body. Just for a second, Yoda believed he was seeing your mother's spirit. You looked so identical, and the soft click of Yoda's cane startled you, forcing you away from your uncle's body.
"Determination within you, I sense. Made a decision, you have," Yoda hummed, coming to your side.
You nodded curtly, your gaze on Qui-Gon, "I wish to become a Jedi, Master Yoda."
"Agree to your request, the council does. My Padawan, you will be," Yoda nodded, not needing to speak to any other members to know there would be no defiance. 
Yoda retreated to the back, watching your reaction as people filtered in, most not catching your attention until Obi-Wan walked in. You seemed to escape his gaze for a few moments, certainly because of the robe, before he rushed to your side. Yoda knew this was a potential problem, the connection the two of you held, but that was a problem for the future.
The future seemed to bring many problems for you. Your days quickly molded into becoming nothing but training. You barely spent time sleeping. Both you and Master Yoda determined to bring you up to speed. Despite everyone in the council loving your decision to become a Jedi (especially Obi-Wan), they had all disagreed with the idea of you becoming a Jedi-Knight within five short years. 
However, Yoda insisted you were ready, and you passed the trials with such ease it'd seemed like you'd been training for years. Which of course, lead to many Jedi accusing you of training illegally under Qui-Gon. But it wasn't anything like that. Yoda and Obi-Wan were amazing when it came to training you. They were patient and worked with you consistently, over and over. You knew there was no way you would've become a Jedi-Knight had you not had their help.
"So?" Obi-Wan asked when you returned to your shared apartment, "Did you pass?"
Slowly, you lifted the hair on your right side to reveal that your Padawan braid was no more. He smiled widely, leaping up and pulling you into his chest. You smiled back, squeezing Obi-Wan as he spun you around gently. 
You still weren't used to everything. Obi-Wan and you had decided to get an apartment together after Qui-Gon's passing, insisting that living together helped your coping. Of course, it was a two-bedroom, and you stayed in separate rooms, and just Obi-Wan's presence truly did help you.
Once Obi-Wan sat you down and pulled back, a huge smile on his face as you stared up at him. A moment passed as you struggled to get a grip on your thoughts. You gulped, eyes flicking around the room as you kept your hands linked at the back of Obi-Wan's growing hair. You liked it longer. You felt it suited him, not that you didn't like it short.
"Obi-Wan?" Your voice was small, fragile in the air as the slightly older boy stared at you.
"Yes?"
"Do you think he's proud of me?" 
Obi-Wan's heart melted at the worry in your eyes, the worry that your uncle wouldn't be proud of you after everything you'd done. His hands drifted from your waist and up to cup your cheeks, pulling your face just slightly closer as he leaned down. He wanted nothing more than to wipe your ever-growing tears, but that could wait. The most important thing for Obi-Wan right now was to make sure you understood that there was no possible way for Qui-Gon to be even the slightest bit disappointed in you.
"(Y/n), I have not a single doubt that he's proud of you. He was before he passed, and I'm sure he's proud now," Obi-Wan reassured you, his smile growing as you nodded, "I know Master Qui-Gon wishes he was here with us, to see you become a Jedi Knight, but regardless he is incredibly proud."
You giggled softly, leaning forward just the slightest bit, so your nose touched Obi-Wan's, "I just worry sometimes, that maybe I'm not doing enough," You paused, gasping a quiet breath when Obi-Wan nudged your nose with his again, "Thank you Obi-Wan... I... I couldn't have done any of this without you. I'd be lost, truly."
Your gaze flicked down to your connected noses and back up to Obi-Wan's blue eyes. Yet, it felt like it was the first time you ever looked at Obi-Wan. You felt like you were a small kid again, peeking out from under your uncle's robe to see two big blue eyes looking at you with a huge smile. Blue eyes and a smile that promised to be your best friend, promised to stay by your side... 'as a loyal Jedi should'. And now, as you stared into those same eyes, you felt the urge to be so much more than what he promised.
You tilted your head up, mushing your lips against Obi-Wan's and leading the kiss as he froze in shock. Was he dreaming again? Was he about to wake up alone in his bed once more? The squeeze you gave to the back of his neck told him otherwise... that this most definitely wasn't a dream. Suddenly, he was dropping his hands from your cheeks, looping them around your waist and pulling you flush against him as he took control of the kiss.
It became a dance of lips and tongue, mumbling in an attempt to convey all the years of unsaid feelings even though no real words were being formed. It felt perfect. It felt like the force was exploding through the two of you, screaming that nothing could've been more right. There was no thought of the Jedi Code, no thought of the possibility of losing your titles. The only thought being formed was how not only your lips but your mind and soul seemed to connect at that moment together.
"I... that... we..."
"I've wanted to do that for so long," You laughed breathlessly, cutting off Obi-Wan.
He smiled, nodding in agreement as he placed a kiss on your forehead, "I adore you so much (y/n). I always have."
You mocked Obi-Wan's actions, nodding your confirmation as he placed another kiss closer to your temple now. It felt perfect. The life force flowing around the two of you was bursting with light, harmonious, and balanced perfectly. There was no need for words. You could feel one another projecting all the unsaid emotions. You were one, and suddenly a large smile broke onto your face as Obi-Wan continued to press light kisses all over your face.
You weren't worried about the possibility of losing your title. You didn't care what the Jedi Code had to say, and you certainly didn't care what the council thought. You felt complete, whole. And it was the first time you'd felt that way since losing your parents. You'd deal with the consequences later, when they made themselves truly known on their own accord and when it was time for Obi-Wan and you to make a decision.
"Do you think he's still proud of me?" 
Obi-Wan chuckled, kissing your nose before pulling back, "I think he'd want to kill me."
"It was a long time coming," You teased, making Obi-Wan nod.
"That, it was."
180 notes · View notes
gorbo-longstocking · 3 years
Text
UNDERTALE FICS
home is where the heart is. (skeleharem, 28 chapters, 88k words, tag: hiwthi, reader character: scooter) nemesis & nike (horror skeleharem, 9 chapters, 36k words, tag: eninen, reader character: wren) and so my garden grows. (goatharem, 4 chapters, 12k words, tag: asmgg, reader character: lowrey)
TRANSFORMERS FICS
Displeasures of the Flesh (kaon/reader/vos, 23 chapters, 67k words, tag: dotf, reader character: cato)
POKEMON FICS
The First Step (larry/reader, 7 chapters, 15k words, tag: tfs, fully reader insert)
DC FICS
Wolf, Made For Slaughter (riddler/reader/scarecrow, 6 chapters, 30.1k words, tag: wmfs, reader character: zee)
Playlists, masterlists, Ko-Fi, tagging guide, important notices, and fun facts about me under the cut!!
________________
PLAYLISTS
home is where the heart is.
and so my garden grows.
nemesis & nike
Displeasures of the Flesh
Out Of Sight, Out Of Time (original work :3)
Wolf, Made For Slaughter
________________
Guide to my very lazy tagging
I tag any posts or asks that relate to anything I’m writing with a shortened version of that works title. Ex: hiwthi, asmgg, eninen.
I tag any posts that relate to a character with their name. Ex: scooter, mutt, kaon
I tag snippets and sneak peeks of chapters and things I’m writing as a shortened version of the title followed by ‘snippets.’ Ex: oosoot snippets, hiwthi snippets, eninen snippets
I tag any personal posts made by me as ‘chattering’ and I am just going to tag every ask I get as ‘asks’ for simplicities sake. If I go anymore in depth, I’ll just forget.
Please note: I have the craziest brain fog known to man, I’m absolutely gonna forget to tag properly. It’s just a fact of the Milo. This blog is going to be a nightmare to sort through and navigate. Which sucks, but such is fate.
________________
UNDERTALE MASTERLIST! (old)
CHARACTER LIST!
KO-FI!
________________
Fun facts about me:
I love making OCs, and I’m not gonna lie, every “reader” character I write is basically an OC of varying degrees. Sorry, but I just really like writing in second person and I cannot stand writing a blank slate pov character, it’s so boring.
My icon is a comm drawn by @cebwrites
I make playlists on spotify for everything I write AND I make them public for your perusal, have fun chat.
My DMs are ALWAYS open for anything! I love to talk to people and I swear to god I’m not exaggerating, please talk to me. (Please be my friend)
I suck at tagging, sorry. My blog is 100% a nightmare to navigate, but I’m trying!!! 😭
I am openly neurodivergent and trans and those things will absolutely be prevalent in my writing. So, if a character is serving autistic or adhd realness, it is both on purpose and in accident.
I’m actually writing a book! Feel free to ask about it, I blog about it every so often!
Every song on each of my writing playlists has a reason for being there and is usually attached to a specific scene, character, or vibe. PLEASE ASK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
My fandoms include: Undertale, DC, Star Wars, and Transformers, but I like a multitude of things. These are simply the main ones, however!
________________
IMPORTANT NOTES
1. I know I can’t stop minors from interacting and reading my stuff, although with my Undertale works, I don’t care as much because I don’t intend to add any smut to the main body of those fics. However, with my other fics. Things may get horny, and I REALLY do not want to hear or see any minors interacting with that stuff. It makes me deeply uncomfortable. Just like, don’t tell me if you’ve read it, please. I don’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss.
2. Every fic or story I start, I fully intend on finishing it. Unfortunately, due to my ADHD, I switch between fandoms a lot against my will. My brain is literally holding me hostage and I have no control over it. Major L. Even if a fic goes years without being updated, it will be updated regularly again one day…..
3. Nothing, for now. Who knows when that may change LOL.
41 notes · View notes
sirenreading · 3 years
Text
Reincarnation🥀
Paring: Vampire!Ezra x F!reader
Summary: Ezra spent years looking for his lost love whom the Gods promised would return to him.
Rating: Explicit (18+)
Word count: 2.3k
Warning: mentions of : blood and death, PIV, unprotected sex, biting, age gap (obviously) , no use of y/n.
A/N: finally able to post this after writing it for a week, was on such a bad writers burn out ugh anyways enjoy! sorry for any mistakes if i missed them while editing! (creds to @/cinewhore for the idea of vampire!ezra) (creds to gif owner)
Tumblr media
You walked down the dark hallways of an unknown castle. Your black floor length dress dragging behind you as you finally see light coming from inside of a room, Quickly making your way in, Your met with a tall man, he's handsome with brown eyes; That stare right into your soul. And a smile showing you his white fangs. You begin to slowly back away as he slowly approaches you. “Don't be scared my love, I have finally found you. This will only hurt for a second.” As he grabs you by the arm, sinking his teeth into your neck.
You awake, Your whole body hot, Sweat coming down your forehead, You try to slow your breathing, throwing the blanket off of you to run to look into the mirror.
No bite marks.
Tumblr media
“Sir Ezra, all the invitations have been sent.” A small voice said, Ezra stood looking out the window of his castle; that sat at the tallest hill a little outside of the village. “Perfect.” He said ”Thank you.” slightly turning his head, waving the maid away. She quickly made her way out before Ezra could change his mind and have her as an evening snack.
Tumblr media
‘You are hereby invited to Sir Ezra’s Masquerade Ball’
You read the small note, Sent to you and every other woman in the town. Sir Ezra threw this party every 20 or so years, Some say out of pure fun, Some think he's searching for something, or someone.
You set the letter down and go hop in the bath to prepare to do your chores. Once you showered and done your hair, You put on a simple dress from your closet and made sure to pack your knife, That your late father gave you for safety.
On your way to the watering hole you saw women and girls of all ages making their way into dress and fabric stores, All getting ready for the ball. You didn't understand why everyone was so excited to meet this man.’ He stayed up in his castle looking down at all of us like ants.’ you thought
You looked up through the trees and could see the dark castle shrouded by fog, Shaking your head as you continued on.
Tumblr media
Ezra sat up in his bed, After dismissing another maid, He barely gave her time to recover before sending her back to her duties. She pulled back on her clothes and whipped the leftover blood on her neck, Before making her way out. Ezra let out a brief sigh, As he stood and retrieved his robe, Wrapping it around his naked body.
He heard three knocks to the door and told them to come in. “How are we this evening Sir?” His butler asked, Obviously asking about the sexual encounter. “She was like the rest of them, Beautiful but, Not her.” Ezra looked out at the midnight sky, looking up to see the stars and the full moon.
“Sir, Your reincarnated love will find her way to you soon, just as the Gods promised; I’m sure of it.” Ezra wasn't sure at this point living as long as he had, Having all the women he had, Throwing ball and the one with the face of his love nowhere to be found. “Sir, The ball is tomorrow, You never know. She may finally turn up.
Ezra turned to him, “I hope you're right.”
Tumblr media
That night you awake from your dream once again, You’d had this dream countless times, Never understanding why or what was happening. You would walk into a room, see the vampire and he would bite you, walking you up. You wanted to understand who this man was, And what he wanted with you.
Tumblr media
Ezra also awakens from a dream or i guess this is more of a nightmare, The same dream he had since his wife, Elizabeta died. He would go off to war not before giving his wife a tender kiss, Telling her he would return, Only to return to his home, With blood all over him, Finding his wife’s deceased body. Picking her up and holding her against his chest as his tears fell, Yelling to the Gods asking why.
Ezra walked into the bathroom running water over his breaded face. He would have to get one of the maids to save it for him later seeing he couldn't do it himself.
The ball a mere hours away, But all Ezra could think about is having to spend eternity without his soulmate, He’d lost her once, But his future foretold him that he would see her face, on another , again. So he was patient.
Tumblr media
You sat as your friend finished putting your hair up in a neat but tight updo. You looked in the mirror at your makeup, the curled lashes along with the dark red lip you had on felt out of place.
“You look perfect.” Your friend said as she finished with your hair. “Thank you.” You gave a small, fake smile. She sighed as she sat next to you. “Ever since I talked you into going to this ball you've been upset, What's wrong?”
“Nothing, I'm just nervous.” You looked down at your gloved hands. “Nervous of what? That Sir Ezra will take a look at you and Fuck you?” you both giggled.
“Of course not, But i've been having these weird dreams, I dont kn-'' Before you could finish you both looked to see her mother knocked at the door, Telling you both the ball begins soon and it was time to make your way up the hill. You both quickly put on your masks and run out the door.
Tumblr media
As you both sat in the carriage your friend arranged for you, You stared out the window, As you gained closer to the castle the fog became more intense, You couldn't barely see, the mask was no help. The carriage made a sudden stop, You both got out hand and hand making your way to the opened door of the castle, Maids in dresses greeted all the guests.
You walked into the open ballroom, The room was crowded with people from your town, and even some who didn't look familiar. Your friend whispered that she was going to find a dance partner and you waved her off trying to not show how nervous you were. Something about this castle felt familiar, you couldn't explain it.
You watched all the people in the ballroom as they began a slow song and slowly stepped away to the garden outside. You found the garden to be peaceful. Hopefully it will help calm your nerves. You walked towards a fountain with a dove on top, the only noise coming from the drips of water.
“It's a beautiful night isn't it.” I deep voice said behind you, You gasped quickly turning to see a man, very tall, you couldn't make out his face, due to the mask that covered his eyes, but he could see his deep brown eyes, and tan skin with a little bit of stubble around his chin and mouth.“I didn't mean to scare you Miss, My apologies.” He nodded, as he was about to walk away. You stopped him.
“It's fine, I j-just very nervous, I couldn't even tell you why, Thought i’d just catch some fresh air.” he nodded understanding “may i?”
He said sitting with you on the bench, The two of you staring up at the sky.
“I also needed a break from the party.” Ezra said, breaking the silence. “No nerves, just tired of waiting.” You looked over at him. Something about him felt so familiar. “Tired of waiting for wha-” Before you could finish, A butler holding a tray, called for the man sitting next to you. Sadly only calling him ‘Sir’ so you didn't catch his name, He politely dismissed himself, telling you to enjoy the party before disappearing back into the castle.
After a few more minutes alone you decided to make your way back into the party.
You felt a sudden shiver go up your spine and cold air went across the back of your neck, You turned to see a dark hallway. Just like the one in your dreams, You turned to see if any other guests were experiencing it too, Only to see everyone dancing, laughing, and getting drunk.
You slowly walk down the hall,’ This is stupid’ You think to yourself, ‘You know how this ends.’
You opened a room far from the party and came face to face with something you’d never seen in your dreams, a painting of a woman, she was wearing a dated dress with her hair down her back in a braid.
You and her were identical, You couldn't believe it. You began to breathe heavily and took steps back to leave the room, before you bumped into the hard chest of someone behind you.
“Hello, mi amor” He said into your ear, You turned to see the man who had been haunting your dreams for a year. You wanted to scream but could barely make one out.
“Mi amor, I've finally found you.” He said, grabbing your face between his cold hands. You tried pulling away but he was too strong.
“Don't be scared. I would never hurt you.” You turned your chin up forcing you to look into his eyes. You noticed the small blonde hair streak. “It’s you.” you said whispered.
“You are just as beautiful.” He was lost in your eyes, he couldn't believe he'd found you after all this time. “As all those years ago.” He leaned in kissing your plump lips, You immediately fell under his spell. His lips had a faint taste of blood, but it didn't bother you. A tear fell from Ezra’s eye, He finally found the woman he would spend eternity with, His soulmate.
Once you two finally broke the kiss, you stared at each other once more before Ezra picked you up, setting you on the bed.
“I'll be back mi amor.” He said giving you one more peck on the lips.
Ezra made his way to the ballroom, whispering to the butlers that everyone was to go home at once and all maids and butlers were dismissed for the night. They nodded and Ezra made his way back to you.
Tumblr media
While Ezra was away you looked around the room, seeing old photos, books all looked hundreds of years old.
You heard the door crick behind you and you slowly turned, Seeing Ezra put a smile on your face, You barely knew the man, But something about him brought you comfort. Ezra noticed you were lost in thought and asked what was on your mind.
“At first when I had all those dreams, I was scared, terrified of what they meant, I thought it was showing me my future… my death. But here with you, I feel safe.”
Ezra smiled down at you “It's because you are her” Pointing to the woman in the painting, “My wife, my soulmate , my Elizabeta. I searched for hundreds of years to find you, I almost gave up, I was told by the Gods, If I continued to search I would find you.” He stood looking at the painting.
“And I did.” He turned to you making his way towards you.
Taking your lips once more, Your hands tangled in his hair as he picked you up placing you on the edge of the bed. He began to unbutton his dress shirt, leaving him in only his dress pants.
He took in his chest, Everything about him was so familiar and perfect.
“Mi amor, May I?” Asking permission to remove your dress, You nodded eagerly. He unzipped the dress, letting it drop to your hips, before pulling it completely off, leaving you in a bralette and panties. He finished undressing himself , and crawled onto the bed to unhook your bra, throwing it across the room.
“May I taste you, mi amor?” He asked already sinking to his knees, you eagerly shook your head yes, He began trailing kissing from your foot all the way to you thighs, stopping before he got to your core, and slowly sank his fangs into them, you threw back your head in pleasure, you’d been nervous it would be painful but he’s taken all your worry away.
He licked the leaking  blood before moving onto your folds, he lapped at them, drinking your juices before taking his fingers and slowly fucking them into you, spreading your lips apart and attacking your clit as he did so. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you ran your fingers through his soft hair. You told him you were close, he immediately crawled up to meet you face to face, “We're going to come together.”
Ezra kissed you as he slowly sank himself into you, you moaned allowing him to sneak his tongue into your mouth--His hands grabbed at the flesh on your hips roughly. “I've waited a thousand years for this mi amor.” He said as his hips barred into you, With his precise movements he lifted your thighs, “I could show you so many things.” trying to get himself deeper. “Just one bite and we can have eternity.” he said into your ear, the heat from his voice attacking your neck.
You were writhing beneath him. You were so close. “Ezra” you barely made out, your breath shaky. He starts applying sloppy thrusts as he tries to ride out his orgasm , you could hear the moans slipping from his lips into your ear, his warm breath behind your neck. Your hands gripping the white stain sheets on the bed.
“Mark me , Ezra.” You finally make out with a shaky voice, Ezra takes a quick look deep into your eyes, still deep inside of you, asking once again for permission to bite you and make you one of him. You nodded as well as you could before he sunk his teeth into your neck, making you let out a moan as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. “ Te quiero mi amor, now we have eternity.”
****
JOIN MY TAG LIST
93 notes · View notes
Text
Post Red {Viktor Krum x Reader Oneshot}
Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 3072 Summary: At a time when he should be focused on the game, Viktor Krum is distracted by you, his childhood best friend, and a blonde-haired boy who won’t stop flirting.
The Quidditch World Cup. You came just about every year, getting pretty okay seats with your best friend Viktor and his family. His parents and yours were good friends, which instantly meant that you were best friends. And with his father holding season passes to every Quidditch world cup, no matter where it was, this had become a yearly tradition. “I’m going to be on the Bulgarian team one day,” Viktor would always state as you watched the players fly. Bulgaria was always his favorite. Home country pride. It was yours too, but sometimes you liked to cheer for other times to mix things up. You would always grin and nudge him to point out something a player was doing, but not this year. This year, you were at the top of the stadium, standing next to the Minister of Magic in a special area, watching Viktor Krum play in Bulgaria versus Ireland. He was achieving his dream.
Tumblr media
Every time that he flew past you, you jumped up and down, waving the flag of his team. He had become the star seeker of the team so quickly, it made your head spin. But you were nothing if not supportive. You used up your allowance to buy his merchandise, even though he could get it to you for free. It almost became a joke between the two of you, how you would always show up to his house wearing a sweater with his face on it, bright and smiling. You always made the joke that he was smiling on the sweater because it was the closest that he would ever get to your chest. He would make the joke in return that he was just smiling because he finally was looking at someone good looking - himself. He was actually very funny for a serious looking man.
You weren’t the only one high up in the stadium. Sharing a box with you was the Minister of Magic himself, and a man with his son. The boy was two or three years younger than you, you would assume by his size, and his hair was as silver as snow, just like his fathers. You had no interest in them. You weren’t here to make friends. You were here to support the best one that you had. But you did give a friendly hello and smile to the Minister, as it was better to have a friend in him than an enemy.
The other boy though, he wanted to have more than a friendly hello with you. He kept moving closer to the part of the box that you were occupying. He spoke to you with a very snobby voice, and though it would be considered rude and your parents would be disappointed in you, your direct reaction was to pretend that you didn’t know English.
“I’m Draco Malfoy,” He said, sticking his hand out to shake yours. “We’re here with the Minister of Magic. Are you here by yourself?”
Rather than shake his hand, because you honestly didn’t want to touch him for too long, you tapped yours against his in a high-five. “Ja, go fast!” You said, pointing at one of the Bulgarian Chasers who just flew past you.
The look on Draco’s face was worth it. But there was still a long game ahead of you. It could go on for hours. For days. Hopefully for the former though, because Viktor was a really good seeker. You had full confidence that he would get the snitch before it turned midnight.
Draco went and stood by his father for a little bit, and the two had quiet conversations. You didn’t pay him much attention. You were too busy watching the game. Even during lulls when it was just Chasers fighting over the ball in the middle of the pitch, you were intrigued. You didn’t pay attention to anything else - except for maybe making faces at Viktor when he passed by you on his way to catch what he thought was the snitch. He was darting back and forth so quickly though, it was hard to tell if he had seen you.
Tumblr media
Since the World Cup was officially sponsored by Butterbeer, it kept being brought up to your box by people who worked for the Quidditch federation. It was enough to keep you warm as the game went into the nighttime. The skies seemed to threaten rain, but you didn’t care whether it fell or not. You were having fun, regardless of the weather.
The Irish scored the first goal. You booed, even though the others in your box seemed to be very supportive of the green team. You smiled apologetically at Fudge as he gave you an odd look, but didn’t pass a glance at the other two. However, the young boy came and stood beside you again, leaning over the box to look down at the people below in the lesser seats. He was sneering at them, like they had done something wrong by just existing there. That was worth a look to you at least. He caught your eye, and that sneer turned into a smile.
“Is this your first time at the Quidditch World Cup?” He asked. You shook your head, still feigning not knowing any English. “We come every year. But this is the first time that we’re in the Minister’s Box. So how did you get up here anyway? Who are you?”
He wasn’t letting up. You tried to look up at the players again, but the war for the Quaffle was going on in the middle of the pitch which meant there wasn’t much to look at right now. He nudged your side, so you finally answered, giving him your first and last name.
“Sounds exotic,” He said, which made you have to turn away and roll your eyes. Leave it to someone from England to think that your name was exotic, when it was commonplace where you were from. And not like he had the right to judge - what sort of name was Draco?
There was finally some action on the pitch, which took his attention from you for a little while. Unfortunately it was Ireland again, scoring the second goal of the game. Your eyes scanned the pitch to look for the familiar frame of your best friend and you saw him across the stadium. He was balanced on his broom, sitting on it in a way that made it look easy. Comfortable. You always admired how effortless he made it look to fly, while you were always hunched down, holding on with both hands until your knuckles had started to hurt. You waved at him when you thought you caught his eye and he smiled back at you. You chuckled as you heard a few girls in rows below you start to squeal because they thought that it had been at him.
“He’s overrated,” Draco muttered beside you.
“Krum?” You asked - before realizing this was very close to exposing yourself as a fraud.
“Yeah. He’s not even that good. In fact, I’m better than him. I’m the Seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch team. I got in second year, which is really rare, actually.”
You let his voice go in one ear and then out the other. This boy seemed to like to talk about himself an awful lot.
Ireland scored a third goal, and you groaned loudly, cutting off Draco in the middle of a sentence. “Oh, are you cold?” He asked.
Either he didn’t notice that you were shaking your head, or he didn’t care. He moved in closer to you and tried to put his arm around your shoulders. In your discomfort, you took a few hasty steps away, and ended up bumping into the Minister himself, stepping on his robes which almost pulled him down.
“I’m so sorry,” You said in horror as you realized what you had just done. You helped him to upright himself, and he gave you a wary look, like he should have expected this.
“It’s quite alright,” He said, but he did wander to the other side of the box, far away from you. You watched, feeling a bit bashful about what just had happened. At least, until there was a cheer from the fans. Ireland scored yet another goal. You sighed, and put your gaze back on the game. Viktor had moved since you had last seen him, and you began to scan for him once more, only for him to pop up not too far from you.
“I knew you spoke English,” Draco said from next to you. You almost forgot about the little twerp, but here he was, making himself known again. You never met anyone so infuriating before. He just couldn’t pick up a hint. “Come on, talk to me. Do you go to Hogwarts? I felt like I would have seen you there.”
“I don’t go to Hogwarts,” You stated. “You have not seen me before. And after this, we shall not meet again. Please, leave me alone.”
“I’ll be telling my father about your rudeness,” He said, finally turning away from you. You let out a sigh of relief. Maybe you could finally get into the game.
There had been a few close calls of Ireland getting the snitch. They were winning by quite a lot, and you could feel Viktor’s frustration from where you were standing. He kept looking at you, and you didn’t have much to offer him except for crossing your fingers.
“I think you should come to have dinner with us after the game,” Draco said, strolling back over to you after a while.
“The game could go on for hours, or even days,” You said, clenching the fence in front of you. You had never felt the urge to punch someone before but it was growing slowly and steadily. Something about his ferret like face.
“Well, we’re taking a break soon. We brought our new house elf. It’s an alright cook, it’ll do for the occasion. And you’re going to join us, aren’t you?”
“I’m fine here, thank you,” You said, scoffing at the idea of a break. You had no intention of leaving the game until it was over, even if that meant starving or peeing yourself. You were dedicated to stick it out for Viktor, at the very least.
He was flying not too far, eyes peeled for the stitch. But he looked at you. He was able to smile once more, but a hand grabbed yours and pulled you away from the fence. In your astonishment, you had let go. “Come on, we’re going to have something to eat.”
There was a sound of awe from the crowd at the exact same time that something went soaring by your head. You just barely managed to duck before it turned around and came back. A bludger. But how in the hell did it-
It went returning the way that it had come from, flying across the pitch. That was when you saw Viktor again, a little closer to you this time, holding a beater’s bat. He tossed it back to the beater, who went soaring after the bludger, while Viktor looked over at you. You put your hands over your heart as a thank you. He had always been a little overprotective of you, but right now, you were grateful for it. You were able to snap your hand away from Draco’s grasp, who was still ducking from the bludger attack. “I said I’m fine here. And if you, or your father, have a problem with that, you can shove it up your rear!” You shouted. The Minister overheard this part of the conversation and let out a little ‘oh my’ in surprise.
You didn’t even care. Enough was enough. If he grabbed you again, you would be telling everyone that you were being assaulted, and put him on full blast. Though he looked rather shaky after the encounter with the bludger, so you had the feeling he wouldn’t actually be bothering you again. You returned back to the fence so you could overlook the pitch again, and wrapped your hands around it so no one would be able to drag you back again.
-
The game finished with Bulgaria’s loss. You were disappointed, but it wasn’t Viktor’s fault. He still managed to catch the snitch, so he had done his job. It was the Keeper that you were disappointed with, and you would be bringing that up to him later.
You descended the endless flights of stairs, blending in with the crowd after the game - many were celebrating but there were quite a few who looked the same as you felt. Damn Ireland, you were thinking to yourself. And damn the Bulgarian Keeper! He hadn’t been able to do his job properly. Even Viktor would have done a better job, and it was his least favorite position!
You managed to veer away from the crowd to go to your own little campsite. Much like the others around yours, the tent was much bigger and roomier on the inside than it appeared on the outside, thanks to a little magic. You marched on through the flaps to go inside, and change out of your clothes. It had been a long game, and you had definitely sweated at least a little bit. You wanted to be much more presentable when Viktor would come along and join you.
The flap came open once more, and Viktor strolled in, just as you were fastening the button on your bottoms. He had perfect timing - now at least, maybe not so during the game. His jaw was clenched, you noticed, and he looked very angry. He’d lost games before, but still reveled in the fact that he had been playing. This was not a mood that just came from the game.
Tumblr media
“What’s wrong?” You asked, watching as he walked past you to the armchair that was in front of the budding fire. Thank heavens for magic - a fire and a tent would never have worked otherwise.
“That boy who was touching you-” He said, sinking into the chair, and spit directly into the fire with disgust. “What’s his name?”
“Oh, we don’t need to worry about him, Vik. I think you scared him enough with the bludger. He wouldn’t even come close to me after that. Turned white as a sheet,” You chuckled at the memory, but his anger seemed to rage on.
“No, tell me his name.” Viktor demanded. You sighed, and walked to where he was sitting. The chair wasn’t big enough for the both of you, but it had rather wide arms and you planted yourself right there. You leaned your head against the top of his, the bristly growth of his hair tickling your forehead. “Y/N...”
“He was a stupid, petulant child who I am never going to lay eyes on again, Viktor Krum. Why did it make you so mad?”
“No one should be touching you. No one should be dragging you...” He said, moodily. He was staring into the fire, not at you at all.
“Tell you what. I’ll let you know his name after you calm down, how about that?” You suggested. It would take some time - he had a temper like a bonfire that would just keep on burning until the morning.
“Fine,” He grumbled. He said nothing more, and the two of you sat in silence, staring at the fire as it crackled, and listening to some of the cheers from outside. People were still celebrating the Irish win out there, and it gave everything a joyous atmosphere. “I’m not angry anymore.” He said after a few more minutes.
You pulled away from him, and took a look at his eyes to see if he really was in a post-red mood. He still looked grumpy but the worst of it seemed to be over. “His name was Draco Malfoy. His father is friends with the Minister, which is why I didn’t do much about it myself. You took good care of me, Vik. Just be happy that it ended the way that it did and we could move on with our lives.”
“If I see him again, I’m punching him,” Viktor grumbled. You shrugged, alright with that since the likelihood of it seemed so low.
“That is a price that he will have to pay then,” You smiled, moving back towards him and fell into his lap. Before you could try to get up, his arms went around your waist and started to tickle you in the way that he knew you hated. Fingers digging into your skin, it was a horrible feeling but the closeness that it brought wasn’t entirely terrible. “Vik - come on, stop...”
“I like it when you call me that,” He said, finally letting a smile come across his usual gruff features. You smiled in return, and lightly ran your fingers across his sculpted jawline, feeling the bone beneath his skin. His breathing hitched, and he held you closer, tighter.
You grew closer, until you could feel the heat of his breath on your lips. Viktor was so close - and you hadn’t realized until this moment that this was something that you wanted. You had always been friends, and your parents had teased since the beginning that they were planning your wedding to each other. But this was the first time that you had seen what they had been seeing.
Screams came from outside, and they were far from being the joyous kind. There was serious fear in the female voice that you had heard. And then came others. More and more screaming. The tent seemed to move as people were rushing past it. You could just see it through the crack between the flaps which acted as doors.
“Stay with me,” Viktor said, getting up immediately. You agreed to this without question, and when he offered you his hand, you took it. Whatever danger was out there, you were certain that you could face it together.
458 notes · View notes
wellloveagain · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
yo whaddup ive been gone for a bit sorry bout that
But I just saw some star wars anatomy posts by @thatfunkyopossum​​ and it awoke an ancient star wars headcannon demon in my brain so here’s a diagram I drew up months ago on how I figure togruta’s crazy skulls work Anyway the way I (and many others) figure they work is that the montral/lekku system is what serves as ears for them. Kinda like human ears, there’s a bit of a transfer system involved, but unlike humans, togruta have all this on the outside. It starts at the top with the most sensitive sound receptors, travels down to the secondary receptors for clarity, and are dampened in the bigger chambers at the sides of the head. Most of the system is bone-protected except for those chambers, which just have cartilage.
As for the rest of the lekku I imagine it’s largely vestigial from when they used to gather auditory information through the ground, but they now serve as feelers and secondary sex characteristics. The one on the back doesn’t help so much with hearing as it does with communication, which is why I’m focusing on the front two.
But!! Because we’ve been blessed with Ahsoka Tano we can also see how it develops as a togruta grows up!!!! Which I also made diagrams for. I’ve slid some extra stages in there tho cause there isn’t any footage of togruta newborns.
Tumblr media
At birth, the hearing organ is like a cushy lil helmet for the skull. They have an extra fontanel that wraps over the top of the organ, but it’s soft for now because. I can’t imagine giving birth to horns is fun. As the baby grows, this second fontanel will harden and fuse with the forehead to make a fancy little pocket for the organ, which will become the montral. Right now the baby’s hearing is very limited and the organ serves as more of a pillow than a hearing device.
Tumblr media
By age 3, the hearing organ still isn’t very sophisticated, but has receded slightly from the top of the head for the leetle babby horns to grow around it. As such, the second fontanel has fully fused to the skull, but is still mostly soft. In some Togruta cultures, this is when they start helping the horns along by gently molding them over time. The lekku have also started to grow, but won’t be very long. At this age, their hearing still isn’t great but they can hear enough to start to pick up on language.
Tumblr media
By age 8, the montral has fully hardened. Around now is when the secondary hearing organ becomes distinct and cinches off of the dampening organ, which tends to swell after this. Their hearing improves drastically as a result and their mastery of language will usually follow, but they won’t hear much from far away. The lekku are still short, but usually begin to curve away from the skull so as not to interfere with neck movement.
Tumblr media
I imagine Togruta as generally longer lived than humans, and as such, puberty goes a little slower. At 14, they usually haven’t quite hit it yet, but are preparing for a hell of a growth spurt. The primary and most sensitive sound receptors have begun to form, and we start to see the lekku become longer. At this point, they can hear everything a human can hear and don’t have as much of a problem with hearing over distances anymore.
Tumblr media
At 17, puberty is in full swing and the horns and lekku become much bigger. The primary sound receptors grow with the horns and the togruta can now hear some sounds that humans cannot. The lekku of togruta men don’t tend to grow much longer after about this length, but their montral keep going. Predictably, balance is usually a struggle at this age.
Tumblr media
And at 25 the auditory system is mostly complete. For togruta women the lekku usually continue to grow with age, but sometimes they stop here. All their auditory receptors are fully grown at this point and can perceive lower and quieter sounds than humans. Whatever their sex is, the bones in the montral will continue to grow throughout their lives, but their growth tends to slow significantly after this.
Tumblr media
This is the longest the sound system can take to fully mature. At this point the horns will continue to grow and the receptors may move a little to accommodate, but their development is complete. Togruta can now hear the fullest range of sound they ever will.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk, pic references are under the cut
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes
midnight-in-town · 4 years
Text
Why Jane is a demon
Back to Mey & Ran’s investigation we go: since I have some time, I want to do a recap post on why I think Jane is a demon and is also possibly John Brown, Victoria’s aide. 
This sums up different posts that I previously wrote on Jane and on John being supernatural [x][x] and also possibly the main attacker behind the massacre at the Phantomhive manor, 4 years ago. 
Premise
First of all, to replace the context: Heathfield was “looking to replace his wife” who died in a carriage accident along with their daughter. 
Whether or not we think this was just a big lie, so that he could appeal to young women with a lower social standing in order to have intercourse with them (while UT maybe promised to eventually revive his wife or something), it’s clear that Abby and at least another servant used to be a part of the Aurora Society and were the ones driving this whole blood collect operation.
Meanwhile Jane was hired as a security guard...
Tumblr media
 ...which means that she’s unrelated to the Aurora society. 
Notion of a job contract between Heathfield’s household and Jane
That’s the simplest clue: many readers noticed the way Jane talked whenever she referred to her job in the manor:
Tumblr media
&
Tumblr media
At some point, she also said that she would never do more on a job than what was directly asked of her (it was mistranslated in English so I won’t add the panel) and this all sounds very typical of demons speaking about their contract.
In other words, Jane stuck to her contract like glue, up until the operation was dismantled by Ciel’s allies. We’ll get back later to why a demon would give up when she could have easily defeated at least Mey. 
Jane’s behavior towards Baron Heathfield
Also something many readers noticed, as in, Jane lacked a lot of deference towards “her master”. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This could be explained by the fact that she, as a demon, has no respect for him as a human (remember, Seb sees humans as grasshoppers & their soul as food). Besides, it’s very hard to be the master of a demon: our!Ciel does a rather good job, considering the wild and mocking beast that is Seb. 
So it’s not hard to think that Heathfield didn’t have it in him to correct & control Jane’s behavior towards him (if he even cared to do so in the first place).  
Parallels to S1 of the anime
As much as I kinda dislike admitting it (since I’m no fan of the anime), this arc was rather reminiscent of the one with Angela Blanc and Henry Barrymore. As we know, Angela eventually turned out to be a fallen angel and also Ash Landers, the Queen’s aide. 
So, while I’m really not sure angels are meant to appear in the manga, Jane being supernatural and having a “male counterpart” (named John) that we already met would be in tune as a parallel. Which leads me to the second part of the post.
Jane = John? 
As I linked to above, it is my belief that John Brown was hinted to be supernatural and even possibly a demon (instead of, like, a Shinigami or Angel). 
So, if John is indeed a demon, then it is likely to think that his master and holder of the contract is Queen Victoria and, in that case, one can wonder what was the point of “Jane” entering a contract with Baron Heathfield. 
Tumblr media
Too many demons can spoil the soup
Unlike Shinigamis who are introduced in almost every arc (we get it, Yana), I’m personally against the possibility that Jane could be a third demon (assuming John is indeed one), because that’d mean introducing a pretty powerful character with literally no agency after Mey & Ran’s investigation, when we are far into the story and the plot is complex enough as it is. 
Yeah, storytelling-wise, it doesn’t sound like a good idea.
Besides, if Jane is a demon who only was in a contract with Heathfield, then...
Tumblr media
...one can wonder what he even paid to have her summoned. That’s why this explanation makes not much sense, I find, considering the household seemed to have no idea at all about Jane being possibly supernatural.
Whereas if we’re considering that Jane already was in a contract with someone else, then it gives her a lot of agency + it means that meeting Heathfield and entering a very secondary contract with him would not have needed fare for the crossing (making the process even more simple). 
Why the presence of a demon at Heathfield’s manor
If we’re considering that John = Jane, then Jane would have been gathering intel on the blue sect’s operations for her real master: Queen Victoria. 
After all, remember that discussion between Victoria and Brown at the end of the Weston arc? 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Victoria clearly was interested in UT’s bizarre dolls (because she wants Albert back? Because they’re great war weapons?), so if she’s slightly aware of what’s been going on since ch140 and the real!Ciel’s return, then it’d make sense that she’d send her precious aide to gather info for her. 
And what Jane discovered is that the Bizarre Dolls need blood (amongst edited records and episodes) to function properly and long enough. 
As for that possible secondary contract that she made with Heathfield: we don’t know what it was about (maybe getting to eat the dead maids’ soul?), but it doesn’t nullify the contract with Victoria, seeing as Seb confirmed multiple contracts are possible.
Tumblr media
Why Jane didn’t try to fight for long against Mey and Ran
If she’s a demon, then she theoretically had the strength to escape Mey’s gun and win, but there is a main explanation as to why she gave up: she didn’t want to be found out as a supernatural being. 
After all she was facing Ran & Mey and:
Ran showed that she was indeed strong as hell, which makes it interesting to ponder if she’s also a supernatural being or a strength-enhanced human (like Finny)
Mey is Ciel’s staff (and if Jane = John, it’s possible Jane would have known about that fact), so Jane proving to Mey that she was more than human would mean Ciel & Seb would get to hear about it and I’m pretty sure Jane/John wouldn’t want that. 
Tumblr media
Another additional possibility is that Jane had gathered enough info, as her original mission requested, and she had no reason to stay longer (except maybe to eat some more souls, as per her contract with Heathfield, who knows). 
Ending word: what about the other investigations?
There is a lot at stake here and, as we know, UT definitely needs stopping. 
So it’s interesting to think that we possibly saw the Queen’s side gathering info on the situation through Jane, while Ronald (definitely representing the Shinigamis’ Organization) just made his appearance during Bard & Lau’s investigation. 
Tumblr media
While Ronald’s arrival is definitely bad news (because it means people are going to die and for all we know Bard might be one of them), it makes one wonder who we’ll meet next if we get to read about Finny & Snake and Ciel & Seb: finally one of the remaining star lords? another government’s spy (France? Since UT went there some time ago)?
We’ll see!
Anyway, sorry for the long post, I hope it managed to convey my thoughts a little more clearly than my old posts. Don’t hesitate if you guys have any question! 
368 notes · View notes