#i’ve fallen in love since i stopped dragging myself across the ground for you

[i-hate-gravel]

“somebody i used to know” as a phrase really does so much and has never been more relevant actually

[vansmissingcheek]

Love Ridden

My theory on how Taissa and Van’s relationship came to be pre-crash!

- Their relationship was slow burn. Taissa is so strong willed and determined; she knows exactly what she wants. When it comes to love though, she isn’t the smoothest.

- Where Van has a dorky confidence, she also has zero game. She is so stubborn about her crush on Tai. The whole team anticipates the digs and constant quips from her but once Tai and Van’s tension begins, Van’s charm fades out.

- I can see Van getting frustrated with Tai. After all, when we get introduced to the Yellowjackets (actually playing soccer) it’s obvious that Tai is a very skilled player.

- The poking she does after saving Jackie’s penalty kicks and the short quips after Shauna’s corners fail to crash, they all stop once Tai is face to face with her. The feeling of a rising flutter in her stomach, whether it be bile or butterflies, does not allow Van to keep her focus.

- As Tai’s shot sails into the net Van can feel a sort of disappointment in her own abilities. After all this is everything that she has. In my mind Van is relying on soccer for a scholarship since she doesn’t have much support at home.

- Taissa is more than pleased by her performance. She can be quite cocky when it comes to just about anything but normally Van is there to drag her back down to Earth. A simple, “You’ll get it next time!” or a, “So close but so far…” is more than enough to keep her grounded.

- Tai notices when it gets easier for her to make a shot. But when Van avoids her gaze all together or misses her in the group hug after a win, Tai is rather blind.

-Taissa Turner has always been known for her smarts and critical thinking skills, but good grief does she have no idea how to deal with her feelings.

- When Taissa felt it for the first time it was quick. A sort of hot flash that fell over her after a practice. Her and Lottie had finished a conversation about who knows what, which ended as Lottie made her way out of the locker room saying a general goodbye.

- Van let out a curse as she wrapped her wrist. The ‘Ace’ bandage fighting back. (it was winning although she’d never admit it.) Tai could hear her struggles from the opposite locker hall and walked over to check on her.

“You need a hand?”

Van was sitting on a wooden bench facing her open locker. She was still in her mucked up t-shirt from earlier and looked over to meet Taissa’s expectant gaze.

“I’d say i’ve done a pretty good job myself,” Van gives her a show of her work. The velcro had fallen and had begun to unwrap itself when she moved it.

Tai gave her a lopsided smile and as Van awkwardly held out her wrist to her there was no acknowledgement given to the sudden thought that plagued both Van and Taissa’s mind.

‘i’m holding her hand.’

“I don’t understand how you can just throw yourself into the ground like that,” Taissa speaks first unwrapping the bandage. The save that Van had made was stupid. No one should’ve caught that. Granted it did cause a wipeout into the mud of a recently rained on field, but nothing stops a goalie like Van Palmer. Obviously it had also required her to land on her wrist..

“I’m sure I looked graceful,” Van smiles softly and brings her opposite hand to take out the hair tie at the end of her braid.

- It wasn’t just the conversation. Taissa and Van talk a lot actually. They had shared classes and similar schedules. It had hit Taissa as she was holding Van’s wrist.

- The feeling of Van’s warmth through the very tips of Taissa’s fingers. She was careful as she wound the cotton ribbon, slowly tilting Van’s hand as she worked. The silence was comfortable.

Too comfortable for Tai.

“You look like hell.” Tai said.

- She wasn’t even quite sure where it came from, but she wasn’t lying. The mud had scraped up Vans side with angry red lines. A scratch ran across her temple.

Van let out a scoff and looked up grinning. Taissa had come to the end of the wrap, sticking down the velcro tab and patting Van’s knuckles lightly.

“Well someone’s got to carry the weight of being the best goalie in New Jersey, and would you look at that…” Van turns her head to look around in faux curiosity. She points to herself smiling wide.

“I’d agree but, not to brag or anything, you’ve yet to block any of my shots Palmer.” Tai smiles devilishly and leans on the locker next to Vans as she watches them place their things inside.

- They talked for a while in that locker room. Taissa had long forgotten the car waiting in the parking lot. Her mother expectant of a reason for why she was left to wait for twenty minute. Taissa was muttering something along the lines of an injured friend and also let it slip that Van was the one she was talking to. Tai wasn’t even totally certain about what she had said but Van was now brought up when the Turners asked their daughter about school, or soccer, or anything really.

- From then on their back and forth made its way into practices. Instead of avoiding her, Van had found any reason she could to be near her. They dug at each other regularly and Van’s quips came back.

But with the words came the feelings too.

- A big game had come around and although Taissa would never admit it, the teasing was building up. Tai had begun to fail her shots on net as well. No longer was it just Van falling behind, but now Tai was distracted too.

Coach was ragging on them about the future of the team, and it cut deep for both of them to know that they were the ones who had to focus up for once.

- Taissa knew she liked girls, it wasn’t a new concept, but it was new to look at a friend and see so much more.

- Taissa saw Van’s expressions and mannerisms as more cute than quirky and felt compelled to hear every detail about Van’s new favorite films or plot twists wrote angrily about in some cinephiles recent digest that she had seen in a magazine.

- After a particularly rough game Taissa was fuming. There was nothing that could pull her out of this state and the team knew better than to try.

- A certain red head stayed behind after the others had finished changing and showering and shit talking. Once a thick quiet had settled over the room the only two left were Van and Tai. She heard a shuffle and a curse and then what sounded like a cleat being thrown to the ground. Van walked around the isle of lockers and tapped her knuckles lightly on the one closest.

“What do you want Van.”

It was a frustrated groan directed towards the tile. Taissa was beyond anger, she was disappointed in herself. When Taissa failed at something she tore herself apart from the inside.

“There was nothing you could’ve done Tai,” Van said softly moving to push off of the lockers and sit beside her. She too looked at the grout that lined the burnt orange tiles.

“They were down by three at half, how the fuck did this happen!” Taissa tangles her fingers in her own hair.

“Hey,” Van’s hand was warm as it pressed on Tai’s back. She was tracing a gentle infinity on her shoulder blades. “I should’ve made that goal- and my footwork was shit and now i’ll never-“

“Taissa Turner,” Van spoke sternly. “You are one of the most determined people I have ever met, and i know that you’re upset but for the sake of playoffs…you have to let this go.” Van’s hand stills as Taissa meets her eyes.

“Plus, you weren’t the one who let in six goals in the span of one half.” Van smiles softly and Taissa cracks the smallest of grins.

“I should’ve played harder, if i had just focused i could’ve-“

“It is not your fault Taissa.” She shook her head and Tai dropped her gaze again.

“I know you,” Van grabs Taissa’s hand in her own. “-and I know that you don’t believe me but man, you kicked their asses all of the first half.”

Tai laughs a little at her comment but her mind trails back to Van’s statement.

“I know you.”

‘I know you.”

- There’s a beat before either of them utter another word. Just absorbing one another in that moment. Taissa nods a little and drags a hand over her face. Wiping off the tears and the sweat.

- A gentle silence was left in the locker room. Their combined breathing and the thumb tracing patterns on the back of Taissa’s hand confined them to their little bubble of safety.

“Thank you, Van.” Taissa mumbled looking over at Van who locked onto her gaze immediately. There was more there after the gratitude, something in Van’s eyes told Taissa that there was a lot left unsaid.

“What?” Tai laughed a little, bumping her shoulder into Van.

“You’re just, i don’t know-“ Van pulls her hand back and looks at the lockers in-front of her.

This pining had gone on longer than Van could even remember. Taissa Turner was a hard person to crack but every glimpse she had gotten past her hard exterior was another step towards falling from the highest cliff of safety.

“Oh…you did great too-“ Taissa wasn’t lying but frustration built in Van’s chest regardless.

“It’s not that,” Van sighed and now it was her turn to run her hand over her face.

‘just say it you wimp’

“You’re so smart Tai and still you’re looking at me like i’m a fucking alien in the Faculty or some shit,” Taissa cocked her head questioningly, so confused and lost on what Van was saying.

“- you still can’t see me.” There was a breath that left Van at the admission. It was a weighted sentence. There was so much lingering underneath the surface and it took only their gaze locking for Tai to know.

“I only see you.” Vans words echo in Tai’s head. This wasn’t happening -and Van wasn’t here- and she had to be losing it!

- Taissa looked at Van’s face unwavering. Swiftly she placed both hands on Van’s jaw and pressed their lips together. It wasn’t fast but it wasn’t careful either. They were so young. Just two juniors finding safety in one another’s warmth.

-As Taissa pulled back, the corner of Van’s mouth lifted just a little. She laughed. They both laughed. At their shared incompetence. The pining was there from the beginning and Taissa had fallen into denial. Taissa partially forced herself to believe that Van wasn’t even interested in her, so she constantly pushed away the idea of actually doing something about her crush.

“You’re such a dork.” Taissa breathed as she pressed another kiss to the corner of Van’s mouth. “I mean really, you’re laughing?” Van was smiling against her lips as she spoke. Because Taissa too had let out quite a few barks of her own laughter.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lady.” Vans expression turned into faux seriousness. “I think you’re seeing things.” The smirk was back in a flash and Tai pushed her shoulder with a scoff.

“I’d have to be more than blind to not see how red your face is right now.” Taissa whispered with a sly smile creeping into her face.

“Oh, shut up.” Vans face was truly glowing in the light of the locker room. Her quips and jokes were long left behind.

- They kissed again but it was more fluid this time. Learning one another and enjoying the process.

- They stayed like that for a long time. Tracing the corners of one another and sketching themselves onto each other’s skin. They were definitely doing this again.

I have been on a huge writing kick recently, my asks are open!

[emeraldiis]

Double Vision

A/N: this is so self indulgent i should be ashamed of myself

AO3 Link

Pairing: Loki x Reader, President Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary:  You and your boyfriend, 2012 Loki, are trapped at the end of time. But you're not alone. President Loki just got two new toys to play with.

Warnings: threesome, DUBIOUS CONSENT, dom/sub, sub!Loki, bondage, name calling, rough sex, mild knife play

You had been pruned seconds after Loki had in the battle in the TVA’s headquarters. Strangely, it didn’t hurt like you had expected. Just a faint sensation of completely and utter emptiness, and then everything went dark. Just like falling asleep. When you came back to your senses, it was just as gentle. You awoke in a bed of grass, staring up at a cloudy sky. A wave of relief calmed the rising panic in your veins when you turned to see Loki lying next to you.

You took in your surroundings slowly. The clouds looming above you looked threatening, like an impending storm, and far off in the distance was what looked like a ruined city. Crumbling skyscrapers pierced the horizon like jagged teeth. Heart speeding up in fear, you quickly shook Loki awake. “Wake up,” you hissed. “I have no idea where the hell we are.”

Loki grumbled and raised a disoriented hand to bat yours away, but still cracked open his hazy eyes to squint at you. A smile lit up his face when he saw you staring back at him, and you’d have been touched if it wasn’t important that he wake up right now. Upon seeing the anxiety written clearly on your face, he furrowed his brows and sat up, shaking his head to chase away the lingering confusion. You could tell the moment he realized something was very...wrong with the realm you found yourselves in, as his eyes widened and he was instantly on guard.

A deafening roar shook the ground, alerting the both of you to a looming danger, and you turned around to see a purple mass bearing down on you. You’d seen your fair share of fucked up things to know that this was not something you wanted to stick around for. Around you, small, bird-like creatures fled from the shadowy monster. In a flash, you were on your feet, tugging on Loki’s arm to pull him up with you. “Come on,” you yelled, raising your voice to be heard over the wind that had suddenly picked up speed.

Loki whipped his head around, desperately searching for shelter, then pointed at the city. “There, run!” He took off in a sprint towards the buildings, with you stumbling along behind him. The head start you got seemed to be enough to out run whatever was chasing you, but you didn’t dare slow down as you ran full tilt to safety. As the city drew closer, a sense of dread crept into your limbs, but you pushed it down. Better to race towards the unknown when the known was actively trying to kill you.

Your legs burned and your lungs were screaming out in protest, but Loki’s panted encouragements kept you on your feet and moving long enough to reach what looked like a half-collapsed hotel. Loki rushed inside the dilapidated building, holding the door open for you to scramble inside before slamming it shut. Another roar made the building tremble, and you bit your lip. As the ceiling shook and spat dust into your hair, you prayed that it would hold. Out of the frying pan, you thought to yourself.

Fortunately, it seemed as if the monster had moved on in search of easier prey, and you took the moment of fragile peace to sink against the wall and finally catch your breath. You dropped your head into your hands, trying to force your breathing back into a normal rhythm and figure out what the hell was happening. You’d just about calmed down when you heard Loki chuckle. “What’s so fu-funny?” You asked, still panting.

“That wasn’t me.”

“Huh?” You looked up, then felt your newly regained breath leave your lungs as another Loki emerged from the darkened hallway. He was dressed in what looked like a suit tailored after your Loki’s Asgardian armor, and he wore his horns proudly. A “Vote Loki,” pin sat crooked on his suit jacket. The flickering lights above him illuminated his grin, making him look like, well, a villain.

“You’re a variant,” your Loki said, stepping in front of you and eyeing his twin warily. The only ever Loki variant you had encountered was Sylvie, and she was questionable at the best of times. Loki was right to be on guard.

“I suppose you could call me that,” President Loki drawled, tracing a finger along the dusty wall as he stalked towards you. It left tracks on the wallpaper.  He leaned to the side to peer around you Loki, and you felt naked under his predatory gaze. You shrank further behind your boyfriend.

“My, what do you have here?” He asked, eyes lighting up in a way that made your hair stand on end. “What a pretty toy, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if I had a turn?”

Your Loki groweld protectively, and he took a step forward. “Do not lay a finger on her.”

President Loki frowned. “That’s no way to treat the superior version of yourself.” He continued his march forward, then slowed to a stop inches from your Loki’s defensive frame. “It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen a beautiful woman.”

You were horrified to find a confusing sort of arousal settling into your stomach. This was, after all, just another version of Loki, the man who’d spent so many nights taking you apart and putting you back together again. You’d seen those same hooded eyes so many times, seen that same smile as Loki made you squirm. Despite trying your hardest to fight it, you could feel a dampness soak into your panties, making you shift uncomfortably.

Just as perceptive as your own Loki, President Loki seemed to sense your growing interest. His frown broke out into a wide smile. “Oh, you want it, don’t you? Go on, tell your guard dog to back down, so we can play.” He nodded towards your Loki, who had turned around to look at you with perplexed, hurt eyes. 

“Really?” He asked, flicking his gaze from the blush on your face towards your tensing thighs. He instantly recognized the arousal he’d seen so many times before, and his expression grew bewildered. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you whimpered, trying to defend yourself. “He looks just like you, I mean, he is you, and I…” you squeezed your eyes shut. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

This was all so fucked. Just minutes ago you were running for your life in a strange new world, and now all that adrenaline had shifted into a violent desire to be broken to pieces. Just so you didn’t have to think about the horror that was your current situation. President Loki was still staring at you, pupils now blown and tongue running across his bottom lip in blatant want.

“Oh, love. There’s nothing wrong with you,” the variant purred. His voice was a bit deeper than your Loki’s, but it still had that velvet smoothness that always made you weak in the knees. A bright flash of green shot out from his fingertips, ensnaring your Loki in glowing rope.

He gasped in surprise, and immediately began to struggle against the magic, but it was in vain. You cried out and reached for him, but President Loki was faster. He grabbed your Loki’s arm, then began to drag him away from you and down the hallway. With a sharp whistle, he motioned his head for you to follow, and found yourself standing and trailing behind the two Lokis like an obedient dog.

President Loki pulled yours into the depths of the hotel, you following anxiously. Your Loki shouted threats and harsh words, but the magic bonds kept him nearly immobile as he was guided by President Loki. You didn’t dare try anything stupid; you weren’t a fighter, and you suspected that this variant far outmatched both you and your lover in combat. All you could do was obey and hope he showed mercy.

You were led into a suite that seemed more put together than the rest of the hotel. Everything looked much cleaner, especially the bed, and most of the walls appeared to be stable. President Loki shoved your Loki into an armchair at the back wall of the room, and then positioned it so that it was facing the bed. “Well?” He asked, lazily gesturing towards the bed.

A gush of wetness seeped from your core at the same time as fear gripped your chest. Two conflicting emotions warred within you, and you felt hot tears stinging your eyes at the confusion of it all. On one hand, you loved your Loki. There was not telling how trustworthy this variant was, if he was going to hurt you or your boyfriend. On the other, this was the once in a lifetime chance to experience a threesome with only Loki. A fantasy that most likely no other person had gotten the chance to experience outside of their dreams.

You cast a helpless glance over at your Loki. When you weren’t looking, President Loki must have gagged him, because there was now an emerald piece of fabric stuffed between his lips. Your pussy throbbed in appreciation at the sight while your heart ached at the terror in his eyes.

President Loki rolled his eyes. “I can’t say I’ve ever met a version of me quite this soft,” he said, walking to his clone’s chair. “Let me help you relax.” President Loki straddled your Loki, chuckling at the muffled whimper that spilled from behind the gag. The variant brought his head down to bite at Loki's neck, and your mouth dropped open.

To your surprise--and hesitant delight--your Loki seemed to be almost enjoying the treatment. His head had fallen back against the chair, and he was breathing in that strained way that he did when he was turned on and trying to hide it. Kinky bastard, you thought to yourself.

President Loki paused his assault on your Loki’s neck to look back at you. “See? He likes it, dear. Now be a good girl and get on the bed,” he commanded. The growl in his voice let you know that he would not tolerate being disobeyed again, so you nodded and clambered on top of the bed. 

Sliding off Loki’s lap, the variant gave him a quick pat on the head and then made his way over to you. “Mmmf!” Loki mumbled, earning a sharp look from President Loki.

“I won’t hurt her. If you stay quiet like a good boy, I may let you have a turn.”

That sent chills down your spine. The thought of both of the Lokis having their way with you was almost too much, and your shaking knees finally gave out to send you sprawling onto your back against the pillows. Seemingly amused, President Loki snickered and crawled onto the bed. He crept forward until he was hovering over you, dark blue eyes raking across your trembling form.

You squirmed under his piercing gaze. The shivers making their way up and down your spine were unrelenting, no matter how hard you tried to keep still and quiet. “What happens now?” You squeaked out.

President Loki’s mouth opened in a wide green, revealing stark white teeth that almost looked sharp. “Now, we play.” Green light appeared at his fingertips again, and your hands shot up uncontrollably. You yelped in surprise and tugged on the rope that had appeared on your wrists. You were bound to the headboard, completely at the mercy of this variant. And fuck, it was exciting and terrifying and arousing all at the same time. What a mess.

There was that green light again. This time, it revolved around itself until it took the shape of a jet black dagger. President Loki ran his thumb along the handle, eyes leaving you to gaze lovingly at the knife. Your breath quickened in fear. “Stay still,” he purred. With deft fingers, President Loki raked the tip of the dagger down your shirt, cutting it open at the front. You let out an embarrassingly high pitched squeal as cold metal came in contact with your bare skin. But, as he promised, the variant did not hurt you. He made quick work of your pants as well, abandoning the knife in favor of simply yanking them down your legs along with your panties.

The cold air hitting your bare skin made you gasp. You tugged uselessly at your wrists, wanting to cover yourself in embarrassment at your sudden nakedness. Your frantic squirming made President Loki chuckle, and he leaned down to nip at your ear. “Don’t worry, sweet thing. I’ll warm you up.” His hot breath against your ear sent shivers of pleasure down your spine, and you couldn’t suppress a soft moan.

Suddenly remembering your restrained boyfriend, you managed to peer around President Loki to make sure he was alright. Your Loki was still bound and gagged, but now his face was alight with a crimson blush. Your eyes drifted downwards to the prominent bulge in his pants. When he caught you staring, Loki dropped his gaze away from yours, ashamed.

President Loki watched the silent conversation, amused. He trailed a thin finger up your thigh, then sat back to straddle your hips. “He’s enjoying himself,” the variant said confidently. He grinned at you. “I know because he’s me, and he likes what I like.”

All you could do was stare up at him with wide eyes, naked and defenseless underneath his weight.

“Oh? Surprised, are we?” President Loki drawled as he waved his hand casually. His suit faded away with his gesture, leaving him bare as well. His long cock mirrored your boyfriend’s, and it was swollen and dripping. You licked your lips. “I’ll take it you two haven’t fully...explored his interests. Us Lokis crave dominance, to be left at the mercy of a pretty thing like you.”

“So why aren’t you-”

He cut you off with a gentle slap to your inner thigh. When you sucked in a harsh breath, he chuckled. “Because there’s something else we love. Power.” WIth that, President Loki moved to place his legs on either side of you. He grabbed your ankles roughly and pressed your legs back until they sat atop his shoulders. You groaned at the stretch, then sighed heavily as he titled his head to the side to mouth at your ankle. “Ready, slut?” He growled.

You didn’t get a chance to answer. The air was stolen from your lungs as the variant plunged his hard cock into you, the stretch burning. You screamed out in pleasure and pain, listening to what sounded like both Lokis moaning in unison. The version that was currently buried deep inside of your heat rolled his eyes back in pleasure at the feeling of your pussy flexing around him.

“Oh, it’s been so long,” the variant moaned. “I want to make this last.” He began thrusting his hips lazily, more grinding into you than anything. You whimpered as you got used to the size of him. It felt like you were dreaming with how overwhelming it all was. Your core throbbed again and again as new gushes of arousal spilled from your cunt, and your head was spinning with the knowledge that just feet from you, your boyfriend was being forced to watch another version of himself tear you apart. And he loved every second of it.

From behind President Loki, your Loki whined, and you could just barely see him twitching his hips up into nothing. “Please,” he begged, and you noticed that he had managed to slip the gag from his mouth. You weren’t sure what he was begging for. To be touched, to touch you. Probably both.

President Loki looked at you with lidded eyes, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he ground his cock deep inside of you. “Should we let him play, too?” He asked, voice ragged.

You nodded frantically. Words escaped you, but you desperately wanted your boyfriend here. You longed for his touch, wanting to feel them both. President Loki nodded and waved his hand back towards the chair. Loki’s bonds vanished, and he was scrambling onto the bed as soon as he was free. 

He crawled up to the top of the bed, hands outstretched to grab your face and pull you in for a kiss. Your Loki gasped desperately as President Loki grabbed him by the hair, pulling hard so that he stopped just short of reaching your lips. Your Loki whimpered and went nearly limp in submission.

The variant let go of Loki’s hair, tsking at him like he was scolding a child. “You may not touch her without my permission.” His voice was surprisingly even, given how he was still thrusting into you. “Are we clear?”

Your Loki opened his mouth to argue, then thought better of it and nodded obediently. President Loki grinned wolfishly. “Good boy. You may kiss her.”

In a flash, your lover was leaning over you, pressing his mouth clumsily to yours. His tongue sought entry, and you let him in enthusiastically. You could practically feel the desperation seeping from his every pore. You’d never seen him this worked up, and silently wished you had discovered this kink of his a little sooner. “You look beautiful like this,” he panted into your mouth.

When you began to reply, it was cut short by a yelp as President Loki’s hand dropped down to play with your clit. Your Loki kissed you again, drinking in all of your moans as his variant brought you higher and higher with those deft fingers. With a growl, President Loki snatched your Loki’s hair again and dragged him away from your lips. Loki’s pitiful whine matched yours as you both gasped for air.

“Fuck her mouth,” President Loki commanded, increasing the pace of his thrusts with a growl of pleasure. His fingers kept up their assault on your clit, and you fought to crane your neck up and open your mouth to be ready for your boyfriend’s cock.

Loki hastily yanked off his pants and pulled out his weeping dick. He shuffled over to you, then leaned forward until he was close enough to guide himself onto your tongue. This was familiar, the heavy weight of Loki’s erection stretching your jaw. You closed your lips around him and began to suck, gritting your teeth against the cries of pleasure that threatened to break free from your throat.

President Loki let go of the other Loki’s hair and instead gripped your hip roughly as he began fucking you an earnest. “So tight,” he hissed. “Cum for me, little slut. Cum for your god.”

Helpless to do anything but obey, you felt your back arch up as your entire body convulsed. Pleasure ripped through you and left you a whimpering mess, drooling around you Loki’s cock. Your boyfriend cursed at the sight of you cumming, and began to pump himself in and out of your mouth. “I-I can’t help, fuck, help myself, darling. Ah, oh gods.”

“Such a good girl,” President Loki praised. He groaned at the tightening of your walls, then removed his hand from your clit to wrap a long arm around your Loki’s neck. Your Loki was forced to lean back against President Loki’s chest, only able to keep his cock in your mouth because of his lanky body.

Your Loki cried out, the sound broken up by his variant cutting off his oxygen. His hips stuttered violently, and you felt thick cum spurt into your throat. Somehow, you were able to force it down instead of choking, and you heard Loki whimper at the feel of his sensitive length being constricted by your throat. “Love, fuck,” he keened.

Seeing the two of you cum proved to be too much for the variant. “Oh, Norns, I can’t,” he groaned out harshly, then slammed himself into you and held his hips there as his cock pulsed within you. As he came, the magic binding your wrists dissipated, and you brought your arms down to rub at the sore muscles. Hot seed spilled out of you, running down to your ass. President Loki watched his cum drip from your swollen pussy in appreciation, panting softly. 

Your Loki had collapsed next to you, and was now snuggled up against your side. The variant frowned at the sight, and you could almost detect a rueful look on his face. You hissed in a pained breath as President Loki slowly lowered your aching legs from his shoulders. He sighed as he pulled out of you, a rush of liquid gushing out and wetting the bed. Most of the dominance gone from his demeanor, he shifted awkwardly, as if he wasn’t sure where he fit in this dynamic.

His sudden insecurity didn’t surprise you. After all, he was a Loki, and they were notorious for their false confidence. It tracked. After a moment’s hesitation, you reached up and grabbed his arm to pull him to lay down next to you. He stared at you in slight confusion, but obliged, leaving you sandwiched between the two Lokis. You turned to your boyfriend, who was already drifting off, too fucked out to keep his eyes open. With a soft smile, you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

President Loki cleared his throat, catching your attention. “I, uh. It’s a bit sad. Seeing what I could’ve had. I can’t help but be envious.” He chewed on his bottom lip and looked away, bravado completely gone.

You rolled your eyes and threw a tired arm around him, feeling a rush of satisfaction when he purred happily and cuddled against you. “I think I have room in my life for more than one Loki,” you whispered. And it was true. If Loki was born to be a villain in every timeline, then you were born to love each one of them.

[firstbeachgoblin]

Hey! I hope you’re well, can i request an imagine where reader is Embry’s imprint and they haven’t seen eachother in months because reader has a life she can’t just drop for him but she comes back when the pack is blowing up her phone ? Thank youu and don’t worry if you don’t write it, it’s fine!

Thank you for the request! It took a Long time But It's now complete with a total whopping 5k words!! Any way I hope you enjoy the fic.

I put it under the cut because it's so long but it's my brain baby at the moment lo.

Returning to you.

Embry Call x Reader

5058 words

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Most of my life has been spent in the Forks area so getting to travel to Europe for six months to see the art and culture was a dream come true. The past four months I’ve been travelling through Europe, starting in Greece and ending my trip in the Irish countryside.

The old art and architecture filled me with a joy that I could not get anywhere else in the world. The smells, sounds and sights all played their own part into the experience. I got to see the moon rise over Mount Olympus, the David by Michelangelo in the Vatican, tour through the Louvre, drink wine on the beaches of France and so much more. I’ve been living my best life.

It's been a dream to see the world, I've met so many new people and tried so much food. I’ve enjoyed every minute of my trip, but there was a part of me that longed for the beaches of La Push.

That part is Embry. Embry Call. My boyfriend, my pal, my love and my light. To me Embry is my everything and to him I’m his everything. That is one thing that has been made perfectly clear the past four months I’ve been away. Every day he’s told me he misses me and I know he means it, I’ve been told not just by him but also the rest of the pack.

Everyday I’ve woken up to ‘Good morning I miss you.” Sometimes he phones to tell me that he feels like he might die if I’m away for any longer. I always chuckle and tell him he will survive, it’s not like I’m going away forever; but that's what he feels like it is. This usually earns me a long winded whine from the other end of the line.

My phone buzzed against the smooth surface of the bedside table while Embry’s face flashed across my screen signalling that he’s calling. A smile graces my lips as I pick up the phone to be greeted with his loving voice.

“Hi (y/n)!! I miss you so much.” sadness was laced in his usual cheery greeting, it hurt my heart to be away from him but I would never trade this experience for anything. I’ve been planning this for years and I wasn’t going to pass up cheap plane tickets.

He filled me in on the pack's shenanigans, complaining about how they keep teasing him for being glued to his phone awaiting any updates I would send him. The later it got the heavier my eyelids seemed to feel, my speech started to slur with exhaustion of time zones while Embry continued to become more energetic with each passing minute.

“Em. . .” A yawn interrupted me mid sentence, a low whine emanated from the phone as he knew I would want to get to bed to have the energy for the long trip I’ll embark on tomorrow for Ireland, which is my last stop. I’d be spending the remaining two months of my trip in the lush countryside.

“I think I should get to sleep, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.” I mumbled into the phone.

“But (y/n)!” he dragged out. I knew he wanted to talk longer but I physically cannot do it. Even though Embry and I don’t live together officially yet, we’d talk into the early morning till one of us fell asleep.

“But (y/n) what?” I dragged out the ‘a’ matching his whine.

“I miss you and want you to come home.” I could hear him pause over line before he continued.

“Besides, sleeping isn’t the same without you.”

I ran my hand through my hair gently tugging on the roots easing the tension that’s built up over my trip. As much fun as I’ve had, he does have a point. Sleeping just isn’t the same without Em. My nights have been spent restless in beds that aren’t mine without the comforting touch of my boyfriend; but that doesn’t mean I can just drop everything and go back home.

“Em you know I can’t just pack everything and go home. . .” I looked at the painting that hung over the tv that sat opposite of my bed. A puppy-like whimper fell from his lips when he spoke again, his voice cracked like he was going to cry. It broke my heart hearing him upset.

“I-I know I just really miss you.”

“I know Embry I miss you too, but it’s only two more months then I’ll be home.”

We chatted for ten more minutes before I fell asleep on the phone. As much as I missed falling asleep in his warm embrace I can’t just fly back home, not yet at least.

The blaring of my alarm woke me from my slumber. The clock face read 6:02 a.m. taking everything within myself to peel back the blankets that encased me in their warm grip. I patted through the bed sheets to find my phone only to knock it onto the floor in the process.

My lock screen adorned a photo of Embry with icing smudged across his face from his birthday party but a swamp of text messages from the pack covered my favourite photo of him. Five texts from Leah, seven from Jake, nine texts from Paul, 12 texts and two missed calls from Sam and a whole group chat titled ‘(y/n) come home.’

The group chat kept pinging with the members of the pack who were still awake discussing the logistics of flying out to Ireland to take me back home. Was Embry really causing that much strife in the pack for them to create a group chat? Knowing him, it couldn’t be too far from the truth.

Leah and I call once a week to check in and make sure the other is doing okay since I left. It’s one of my favourite parts of the week being able to have a one on one with someone sensible. Every week she fills me in on Embry begrudgingly, she does it because she knows it makes me happy which I appreciate.

Reading through her texts she didn’t say much in regards to Em’s behaviour the only message relating to him was “come get your man child please, he’s getting snot on the floor.”

I listened through Sam’s voice mails which were begging me to come home, he informed me that once Em knew I was asleep he started moping around Emily’s house again for the fourth consecutive night in a row. This was news to me.

The texts entailed that Embry was becoming a pain on patrol and that Paul ‘couldn’t take another minute of the incessant whining.’ I told them the same thing I told Embry; I’m not dropping everything and rushing back home to sooth the wails of a love sick boy. There isn’t much I can do from across the ocean anyway.

I stretched my body and headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower before I had to leave for the airport.

I packed the few remaining things I left out to prepare for the flight and headed my way to the lobby to check out. I enjoyed travelling but I wasn’t going to miss sleeping in hotels and hostels.

Two weeks have passed since I touched down in Ireland and to say I’ve been having the time of my life is an understatement; I’ve been having a ball living my best life.

The land was capped in a luscious emerald green sea of grass that waved in the wind, the roads were lined with hand built stone walls that marked the division of farmers fields.

Sheep and cattle grazed in pastures, and old castles dotted the countryside. It was gorgeous. It was a view that I wanted to see again, a view I want to see with Embry.

It felt like time was flying by between sight seeing, trail hiking, museum tours and calls with Embry and Leah. It has already been a month. I had one more month before I was to jet set back to the U.S. and see my Embry.

One more month before I was back in La Push surrounded by the scent of sea water and trees with the looming threat of rain constantly overhead except in the summer. For two months of the year La Push was bright and sunny with the expected summer storms that happened.

I had fallen asleep on the phone with Embry again when I realized my phone was lost in the sea of sheets as it buzzed with an incoming phone call.

I couldn’t find it until the call had gone to voicemail and my phone landed on the ground when I gave up and ripped the blankets off of the bed but whoever called must have felt it was really important. Picking up my phone the most unflattering photo of Jacob was plastered on the screen, his name in white.

“Hello?” I asked groggily into the phone, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I looked over at the clock which said in bold red numbers 1 am.

“Hey (y/n)! You sound like you just woke up.” I heard him chortle from the other end.

“That’s because I just woke up Jake, it’s one in the morning.” a yawn escaped my lips, I know I’ll have a rough time getting over jet lag when I go home.

He occupied twenty minutes with idle chatter and borderline interrogation about all the sights I’ve seen before I asked him why he was calling me so early in the morning

“Embry has spent the week at my house, you need to come home there’s nothing we can do anymore to occupy him till you return.” He sighed, Jake knows I want to finish my trip but we made a deal that I would come home early if there were absolutely no options left to keep Embry from sending the pack into hysterics.

I knew he was buttering me up for something.

“Are you sure you can’t figure something out? It’s just another month!”

“Another month of him eating my cereal and getting dirt on me from my dad!”

I snorted with laughter at the fact that Billy was telling Embry every embarrassing detail from his childhood.

“Jake please just let me think about it okay?” I sighed, flopping back into my hollowed cave of blankets and sheets.

“Okay, I’ll let you think about it but don’t think I won’t be telling Sam.” he warned.

We laughed together and he wished me a good night before hanging up the phone, before I slipped back into slumber I sent Jake one more text.

‘You wake me up at one in the morning again and it’s over for you.’ in which he responded with ‘Oh no I’m so scared lol.’

I reached over to the bedside table and plugged my phone in before the sweet embrace of warmth and slumber took over my senses.

The next three days I was bombarded with texts from Paul whining about the wolf mind link and how every patrol shift he had with Embry was spent tuning out his constant thoughts of me.

Standing in the shower with hot water running over my skin soothing my tense muscles I heard my phone buzz against the granite countertop. I rolled my eyes and continued to bask in the endless hotel hot water.

As bad as staying in hotels could be, the hot water made up for the early breakfast and sheets that were tucked in a little too tightly.

I had shampoo in my hair when my phone started buzzing again, this time with a call. I grumbled under the stream of water washing away the soap before it could get in my eyes; whoever's calling can wait.

I moved on to conditioning my hair, letting it sit while I wash the rest of my body with a lightly scented lavender soap.

I refused to use the complimentary soap because it dried out my skin and the lotion just left me feeling sticky instead of moisturized.

Watching the soap run down the drain my phone rang again, I clenched my fists, who could possibly be calling me now? I still refused to get out of my steamy heaven to answer my phone.

My gut told me that whoever was calling wouldn’t let up until I answered. I washed out the conditioner from my hair and wrapped it in a towel.

The mirror was coated in a layer of steam, the tiles were cool against my feet. I wrapped the plush towel around my body, mopping up the droplets of water that remained.

My phone started vibrating with rapid fire text messages from the pack’s group chat they made a month ago. I sighed, picking it up to sift through the messages. I read a message from Jared telling me he’d pay me to return.

The pack always made me laugh, together they’re a walking sitcom. There is never a dull moment with them, someone always had something witty or sarcastic to say.

I checked to see who had called me and it turned out it was Sam, I listened to his voice mails and immediately phoned him back.

As soon as I hit the call button it only rang for half a second before he picked up.

“Thank you for calling back, I thought I’d have to call two more times.” he chuckled.

“Well I was in the middle of a shower, can’t really take a call there.” I moved through the room with my phone pressed between my shoulder and cheek. Stopping at my suitcase to pick out what I was going to wear for the day.

“I’m going to be frank with you, I need you to come home. . .” I let out a huff before he continued.

“Embry needs you badly, he’s just a pile of mush on the floor now. It’s a chore to get him up to go on patrol. Please?”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do Sam, I’ll try to book a flight for the earliest date I can find.” I knew I was giving in but from what they were telling me and the constant texts were getting to be difficult to manage.

“Thank you, when you get back I’ll buy you take out for a month okay?”

“I hate that you know what my weakness is.” I laughed through the phone, a month of free take out? Hell yeah. It made the prospect of going back a little brighter since I wasn’t going to complete the rest of my trip.

I wasn’t losing out on too much though, I had seen and done everything that I wanted. It wouldn’t be too bad to go home early.

We talked for a couple more minutes before parting ways, I threw my phone on the bed and watched it bounce a couple times before turning my attention back to getting dressed. Since I had a flight to book it was okay to spend the rest of the day lounging in pj’s.

The soft fabric of my pj’s brushed against my skin as I jumped into bed with my computer in hand, and now it was time to book a flight back home. Maybe text Paul and tell him he can quit complaining as well.

I woke up the next morning with my flight booked for take off in the afternoon and my daily good morning text from Embry. I felt a little sad to be leaving such a beautiful country but the trees, ocean and Embry all called my name.

Pacing through the room I grabbed the comfiest set of clothes I packed for my return flight back to Seattle, I had enough time to sleep on the plane to be conscious enough for the three and a half hour drive back to La Push.

I was set for a long day ahead of me but it was going to be worth it in the end, seeing the bright and happy face of my boyfriend, getting to hug him and kiss him again.

I made one last check of the room before I gathered my clothes and toiletry kit and made my way into the bathroom to shower before my long flight. As I was stepping into the shower my phone pinged from the counter with a text from Sam.

“Have you booked that flight yet?” it read.

“Yeah I’m due for take off at 1. I should be back in La Push some time tomorrow!”

My fingers brushed the cool surface of the counter top as I put my phone back and got into the shower, hot water immediately running down my back; this time my phone wasn’t being blown up by a desperate wolf pack trying to get my attention.

I can’t sit in the shower for hours on end this time, I have a flight to catch and a boy to surprise. Embry was currently still under the impression that I would be coming home in two weeks. Boy would he be in for a surprise.

The residual steam wafted out of the bathroom while I brushed my teeth revealing my towel wrapped body and hair in the mirror behind the skin. I checked the time and noted that I had two hours to check out, make my way to the airport, and check into my flight back home. Two more hours before I could smell the trees and ocean, two more hours before I could see my friends and hug Embry.

The time managed to move by in a blur by the time I was shutting the trunk of the yellow cab that was going to drop me off at the airport. I got into the back seat and the driver peeled away from the hotel front onto the winding roads.

“Aye where are you headin’?” The driver inquired in a thick Irish accent.

One thing I noticed in my stay here was that the accent changed in every town or village I passed through. It added to the charm

“Well, I’m on my way home after spending six months in Europe.” My eyes scanned over the green hills that rushed past in a blur.

“My favourite places I’ve been have definitely been Ireland and Greece.” I smiled towards him.

The lines around his eyes crinkled with the smile that graced his face at the mention of Ireland.

“Well that’s good to hear innit? Glad you’ve enjoyed your stay. We welcome ya with open arms if you return.”

We held a light conversation until we arrived in front of the drop off area for passengers, thanked him and grabbed my bags before heading into the crowded lobby.

The front of the terminal was metal and glass that reached towards the heavens with automatic doors gaping open like a mouth. Inside was a dull white with light grey floor which my shoes clicked against with each step.

It was packed with people like a can of sardines, I weaved my way through the masses towards the check in desk which thankfully only had a short line to get through.

Under the mix of fluorescents and natural light the desk lady’s bags that donned under her eyes glared with visible exhaustion from the mass amounts of people that swarmed the terminal.

Despite her clear drowsiness she still greeted me with a warm smile and a soft hello.

I grabbed my ticket and thanked her then turned and pushed myself through to the security check, dropped my luggage off and took a seat to wait for the boarding call for my flight.

As I waited grey clouds started to fill the sky blocking out the little sun that was once shining in its place.

My eyes grew heavier by each minute that passed, waiting could be hard, but waiting in an airport where there’s no sense of time is worse. So I distracted myself by people watching.

A lady was bouncing her baby, the old man across from me was snoring. A businessman paced back and forth speaking urgently into his phone, a family chatted excitedly for their family trip to the Canary Islands.

I pulled my eyes away from them as the call for my flight rang out over the crowded terminal, grabbing my suitcase and making my way towards the gate.

Excitement filled my every step as the anticipation grew and bubbled inside me. I gave the greeting flight attendant a small smile and made my way to my seat, for being last minute I managed to get a window seat.

We sat on the tarmac for twenty minutes before taking off and before I knew it the seat belt light pinged off and I was fast asleep jet setting my way back to America, back to my home.

I couldn’t tell what time it was when I woke up but the clock on the tv screen said 2 a.m. and that we’re due to arrive in an hour. I sat up in my seat and gazed out the window into the starry night sky.

Energy started to course through me as I watched the arrival time tick closer and closer. A light rain misted down over Seattle as I left the Seatac terminal and made my way through the maze of cars in the night that was made darker by the rain.

I spotted my blue Subaru and popped the trunk so my interior and seats wouldn’t get wet. It had been a long six months since I last sat in my driver's seat, the wheel almost felt foreign in my hands as I turned the key and listened to the engine roar to life.

I drove through the winding roads of the city to the Seattle-Bainbridge Ferry to take the 45 minute ride into Bainbridge and headed North to get on the 101 then turn onto 110 which would take me back into the heart of La Push.

The closer I got to Forks the brighter the sky became; well as bright as it could be on a gloomy day. The clouds became painted in the glow of purple and pink as the sun rose over the horizon, the rain had let up and left me with an overcast sky for the remainder of the drive back.

Since I slept virtually the entire flight back I didn’t feel the weight of exhaustion at all, but surely when I arrived back in the arms of Embry I knew I’d hit the wall with sleep deprivation.

As I barreled through the corridor of trees I passed the signature ‘welcome to Forks’ sign and turned right onto the 110, twenty minutes to home. I was so close but my soul felt like it was light years away.

The clock on my radio told me that it was currently 6:45, the pinks and purples that coated the sky faded away to the typical grey that fills my senses with delight. Sea salt and washed up kelp started to seep into the air that circulated into my car making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

Closer to Beach Drive I got the stronger the smell of the ocean became. The turn signal clicked as I turned onto the road that gave way to Sam and Emily’s house so they could take me over to Embry’s in the off chance that he happened to be awake at this hour.

It’s highly unlikely that he would be up at this hour but it’s not something I could be one hundred percent positive about. I stepped out of my car and turned around to see Emily running as fast as she possibly could towards me with open arms and a huge smile plastered across her face.

Dropping my bags I dashed across their lawn into her embrace.

“Oh (y/n)! I missed you so much, you must be so tired.” She released me from her hug and settled her hands on my shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze.

“I missed you too Emily, I knew I’d be tired but not this tired.” I chuckled while wiping at my under eyes in a feeble attempt to wipe away the exhaustion.

She put her hand on my lower back and led me inside for the awaiting cup of tea while Sam moved my bags into his truck.

The warmth of their home embraced me, the comfort of their kitchen was familiar. The only thing missing was the rowdy group of boys that made up the pack who usually occupied every available seat in the home.

I took a seat at the kitchen table where three cups of tea sat waiting, I should have expected a q and a when I returned. Wrapping my hands around the mug the warmth that radiated from it filled my hands.

Emily took a seat beside me and Sam entered through the door and sat adjacent to both of us.

“So how was the trip?” We sat around their table chatting until our cups were empty and filed out of the house into the early morning air.

“Emily and I will drive your car back to your place after I drop you off at Embry’s, the kid’s been sleeping in my living room more often than I’d appreciate.” Sam’s eyes crinkled with a smile, I knew he was joking but at the same time there was truth to his words; and honestly I couldn’t blame him.

“Thank you for putting up with him while I was gone, I owe you guys one and you owe me take out for a month.” He rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair turning into the Call's driveway. Embry’s mom had already left for work leaving him to his own devices; which meant he would sleep in as late as his heart desired.

We got out of Sam’s truck and he dropped my bags on the doorstep. I turned and gave him a quick hug and a thank you before sticking my key into the lock.

The door creaked open and I dragged my suitcases to a stop in their front entry way and shut it behind me.

My shoes landed on the floor with a soft thud and I gingerly walked up the stairs to ensure I wasn’t too noisy while making sure to avoid the one squeaky stair.

I got to the top of the stairs and hung a left down their light beige hallway that gave way to the oak door that guarded Embry’s room. His soft snores filtered through the door, it’s door knob was cool in my hand. Making an audible click with the turn of my wrist.

Dark mahogany brown hair peaked up from beneath the sheet that tucked Embry’s body out of view. One pillow was on the floor while the other was tucked firmly between his cheek and arm, I smiled at the sight of my sleeping boyfriend which filled my every inch with the utmost joy.

My sock covered feet pressed into the carpeted flooring with each step I took towards his bed making sure to step over the piles of dirty clothes that were scattered around the room.

The sun filtered through the gaps in the window blinds casting pools of golden light on the floor and along his walls causing the crystal prism that hung above his closet to sweep dashes of colour across his walls.

I pulled back the grey top sheet to reveal his peaceful face and I swear my heart was going to burst with the amount of love that I feel for him. His hair was tousled in every direction and a cow lick stuck straight up on the left side of his head.

My hands ran over his hair, smoothing it out while I whispered his name. Embry groaned a bit and rolled over, I whispered his name a little bit louder and moved my hands from his hair to his shoulders running them along his arms finally waking him from his slumber.

“Hi Em!” I gushed out as his brown eyes opened and focused on me. His face split with his toothy smile and his arms shot around me, pulling me down into his chest.

“Do you know how much I missed you?” Embry mumbled into my hair.

“I figured a lot with the amount of texts I got from the pack.” I reached up brushing the hair from his face.

“You can never leave me for that long again. . .I didn’t know what to do without you here.” He ran his hands through my hair placing a gentle kiss upon the top of my head.

“I was so worried about you. I couldn’t protect you and make sure you were safe.”

“Well next time I’ll make sure you can come, then you don’t have to worry.” Craning my neck up I placed a kiss upon his lips which were still a bit swollen from slumber.

“The important thing is that I returned safe and in one piece. The other important thing is I get to spoil you with the gifts I brought back!”

His laugh filled the room sending vibrations through my body.

“Hey! That’s my job to spoil you, not the other way around.” He ruffled my hair causing us both to laugh. I peeled off my socks and wiggled my way under his blanket.

“I think it’s time we catch up on six months worth of cuddling.” I poked a finger into his side.

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea, you owe me for being gone so long.”

“What? I came back early!” His hands made their way under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my back sending waves of heat through my body from being pressed into him. Oh how I missed my heater.

“Yeah, by like what? Two weeks?” his silky voice chuckled out.

“I missed you Embry.” I told him, placing a kiss on his exposed shoulder.

“I missed you too. Now let's go back to sleep, you look tired.” He said to me as he rested his chin atop my head and pulling me closer.

[allthatyoulove]

A Heavy Feeling

Bucky Barnes / Female Reader

Summary: A fight with Bucky leaves you feeling alone.

Includes: angst angst angst, tiny fluff towards end, mentions of not eating

Words: 2k

A/N: A little angsty drabble I’ve had sitting in my drafts. I put female reader but it’s pretty general :) Please check out my prompt list! You can request as many prompts as you’d like! Hope you enjoy the story! Feel free to leave any feedback and please let me know of any warnings or errors I missed, thanks for stopping by :)

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These last few days have probably been some of the worst in my life.

My life thus far has been far from easy, but it’s hard to remember a time where I felt as low as I do now.

I sit at the dining table, using my fork to mess with the food on my plate. Silverware clinks against plates, conversations are lively. Warm lighting fills the room, the huge window allowing a glimpse at the night sky. Everyone is eating and talking, laughing and smiling.

Everyone except Bucky and I.

They know why, which is probably why they were quick to put space between us as we all sat down for dinner. I was the last to come to the table, everyone stopping mid-conversation to look at me with pity. I sat down, and haven’t spoken a word to anyone since. They had eventually ignored the heavy tension tethered between Bucky and I, deciding that constant talking would prevent the chance of an awkward silence crashing over the entire table.

I had told them I could eat in my room, that I didn’t want to make dinner weird for everyone else. They insisted I come. I couldn’t ask Bucky to not come to dinner either, especially when I knew how much he liked sitting down with everyone, taking an hour or two to enjoy the company of who had become his family. No matter how mad I was at him, I could never ask him to give that up.

So that led me here, sitting at the edge of the table, messing with my food. Bucky was sitting across from me, to the very left edge of the table. The farthest seat from mine. Being so far from him was probably worse than sitting right next to him. I only glanced at him a few times, which I was proud of myself for. He was in his black leather jacket, with a black shirt and pants. Everyone had gone out just before dinner, but I didn’t feel up to it.

Seeing Bucky come through the door with a smile on his face made my heart tighten with pain, before I became disgusted with myself on how selfish the reaction was.

He sat at the table now, not talking with anyone. His arms were folded, and he hadn’t touched his food either. Everytime I looked at him he was focused on the same part of the table, zoned out. His brows were dropped, his lips in a soft frown. His eyes were filled with sadness, almost a puppy look. I could feel his eyes shift from the table to me every so often, trying my hardest not to meet his eyes.

We had only been sitting down for around 5 minutes, and I felt like I was suffocating. That’s all I’ve felt these past couple of days.

I’d asked him for space, said I needed to think things through. He respected that and listened, hesitantly. He didn’t go out with everyone as much, staying in his room save for the times Steve dragged him out. I was better at turning down the attempts of them trying to get me to go out. I had barely left my room.

I knew he was hurting, I could see it in his eyes and in the way he carried himself. I wondered if he was hurting as much as I was. I couldn’t sleep at night, couldn’t leave my bed. Couldn’t think without him next to me. Couldn’t think with him next to me.

I set my fork down, sighing to myself as the group was heavily engaged in conversation. I became alert of every action I made, feeling Bucky’s eyes on me once more. I gulped in anticipation, not thinking before drifting my eyes to his.

Our eyes met, my own filling with tears. His eyebrows pulled together, his own eyes filling with emotion. His mouth opened to say something, before I abruptly stood up, picking up my plate and taking it with me to my room. I could hear the conversations pause, confused sentences being muttered before another door shut, a few doors down from mine. Bucky’s. He must’ve left right after I did.

They eventually continued talking, but I stopped listening. I tossed my plate on a table, almost breaking it. I paced across my room, back and forth. I let the tears fall freely down my cheek, bringing a hand up to my mouth to be quiet. I sat down on the floor, holding my face in my hands. Not a single thought went through my head, but I couldn’t stop crying.

A few minutes passed before I had no more tears to shed, quiet and dry sobs leaving my mouth occasionally. I calmed down, using the breathing exercises Bucky had taught me. I almost started crying again at the thought, but I had nothing left in me.

I sat on the floor, sniffling and breathing deep breaths. Staring at the ground, no particular thought staying for more than a second.

My head shot up as a soft knock came to my door. A single knock, nothing more. Almost a tap.

I didn’t need to ask who it was, I knew. I held my breath, staring at the door. He said nothing. I crawled over to the door, holding my ear to the thin wood. I could hear the thumping of his heart, feeling it against the door. He must’ve been sitting against it- on the floor as well. His shaky breaths went through the wood.

I sighed, sitting with my back right where he was on the other side. I set my head on it, producing a tiny thump sound. The same sound came from the other side a second later.

My hand went up to my mouth again, sobs threatening to break from my throat. It was so painful, knowing he was sitting with me on the other side of the door. Not being able to touch him. The sound of his heartbeat comforted the pain slightly. I breathed in and out, in and out. Trying to calm down. I lost track of how long I was sitting there, scared he would leave first. I decided I couldn’t handle it if he did.

I didn’t try to listen to what he did on the other side of the door as I suddenly stood up, striding over to my bed and throwing myself under the covers. I didn’t come back out.

My eyes shot open, sitting up. The moonlight shone through the window the size of my wall, illuminating the covers. I had fallen asleep.

My head had found its way out of the covers, as they now sat loosely below my ribs. I rubbed my eyes with one hand, running it through my hair. I sighed as I looked around the room, yawning. I spotted my plate still sitting on the table. I got up, grabbing it and walking over to my door. I slowly opened it, cringing as it creaked. I peeked out, looking both ways down the hall. It was almost pitch black, save for the window that was providing light sitting at the end of the hallway. The coast was clear.

I closed my door slightly, walking to the kitchen. The dining table was clear and cleaned, leaving no trace of dinner earlier.

I put the food into a container, writing my name on it before shoving it into the fridge for later.

I turned around, walking back to my room. I slowly opened the door, hearing something. I paused, waiting. I didn’t hear anything. Was it my creaking door? I went to start to open it again when I heard it.

Whimpering.

My entire body froze for a split second before I strode straight to his room. I knew that sound, and I knew what it meant.

I cracked his door open, peeking in.

Bucky was laying in the middle of his bed, the sheets below his waist. He was shirtless, his vibranium arm wrapped over a pillow. The image pulled on my heart strings, tying it into a knot as he twitched, his other arm moving at his side.

I walked over to the side of the bed, putting my hands on it to hold myself up as I leaned over him.

“Bucky.” I whispered. His face turned just barely, still asleep. Still in his nightmare.

It had been so long since he had one, I forgot what to do. I reached a hand up, setting it on his metal bicep and shaking it lightly.

“Buck-”

I was halfway through his name when he turned around, pulling me into the bed with him and flipping me on my back. I gasped as he put his forearm against my neck, applying pressure. His eyes had snapped open, frantic and scared. Violent.

My arms pulled at his arm, shooting him pleading eyes as I struggled to breath. A few seconds passed before he let out a sharp breath, slumping as he seemingly came back to his body. His eyes shot open even wider, instantly taking his arm off of my neck. I gasped for air, breathing hard and fast. His eyes shot between mine, confusion and sadness and regret painted over them.

I stared at him as I caught my breath, waiting as his mouth stayed open- trying to find words.

He closed his mouth, backing away and sitting on the edge of the bed. I stayed in my spot for a second, cautious. I was unsure of what to do until I heard a sob escape him. I instantly sat up, my hand going to his shoulder. I tried to pull him to face me, but he remained facing the wall. His head was in his hands, his shoulders starting to shake as he cried. I walked on my knees, my chest against his back as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

I laid my head against his back, listening to the sound of his heart and breathing deeply- hoping he would soon follow. He continued shaking as I soothingly ran my fingers across his stomach, patient. Waiting.

“I thought they had stopped.” He let out, his voice cracking.

“I know. I know, baby.” I said, holding him tighter.

A few minutes passed as he gradually stopped shaking, occasionally twitching as he copied my breathing. He picked his head from his hands, as I raised my own from his back. I moved my body so I could look at him from the side. His eyes were puffy, his nose and cheeks red and tear stained. I brought one of my hands to his face, bringing it to meet mine and rub his cheek with my thumb. He stared at me, at my lips. I wiped the tears from his face, looking at him with love. He returned it, looking at me as if it was the first time.

“I’m so sorry.” He said, his voice rough and filled with regret. I shook my head, rejecting his apology with the motion. He opened his mouth to speak again when I brought his face to mine, our lips meeting.

My eyebrows scrunched together as I pushed my lips into his. He didn’t hesitate in kissing me back, his hands coming up to hold my face, to bring me closer. His lips perfectly molded into mine, the salty taste of his tears mixing between our tongues. Our noses bumped into each other repeatedly as we messily tried to both apologize and profess our undying love into the kiss.

I slowly pulled away after a few minutes, resting my forehead against his as I caught my breath. We looked at each other’s lips, chests heaving as my thumb rubbed his cheek. His hand drawing circles on my back. I broke out into a smile, him following me. I fell on my side back onto the bed, bringing him with me.

We laid across from each other, an inch apart. I brought my fingers down to his lips, pulling his lip and hearing it fall back with a pop. I looked at all of his features, knowing them by memory but still wanting them forever seared into my brain. I missed him.

Being in his room with the moon casting light over us, wrapped in his arms, I felt so happy. After days of nothing but a hole where my heart was, I felt complete. I was home.

We had a lot to talk about, but it could wait. I wanted to enjoy this moment.

[butterysalt]

Fun | Sherlock x platonic!Reader

Pairing: Sherlock x platonic!gender neutral reader

Request ( @a-paper-cut​ ): 

Word Count: 2,202

Contains: Mentions of child abduction, platonic fluffiness and banter :)

A/N: AAAAAAA thank you so much, lovely! This was my first request and I was SUPER excited to write it hehe. I’ve been on a slight creative block lately and I enjoyed writing this so much. I hope this fic does justice for what you wanted and I hope that you are doing amazingly 🧡🧡

It was an early, snowy winter morning in London. You and Sherlock Holmes have been mind-boggled by a puzzling case for the past week. The detective proposed that the two of you go on a walk to allow some fresh air in the brains again. This suggested that even his extensive mind palace and composing weren’t helping the genius. Not that you were complaining about sharing a nice stroll with Sherlock. It had been years after all since you two had spent any casual time together. Like what people normally did in their free time, anyway.

The two of you stepped side by side, feet planting in the thin sheet of snow on the ground in unison. You grinned a little at the matched body language. You and Sherlock always had special ways to subtly communicate with one another. It was like a part of your minds were connected.

“Anything yet?” the tall brunette questioned. Your lip twitched upward. “Don’t rush the process, Sherlock. Just enjoy the moment. Live in it a little.” Sherlock’s long drawl could be heard next to you. His walking strides were growing longer as his patience began to thin out. You could practically hear the subtle gnawing of his teeth.

“We’ve only been walking 5 minutes,” you flouted, “Loosen up a bit.” Sherlock snickered to himself, messing with his gloved hands. “You’re already trying to read me?”

“You’re walking like you’ve got a stick up your arse. It’s clear you’re agitated,” you jested. The curly-haired detective sneered at you and kicked a clump of ice out of the way. “I can’t think, Y/n. We have potential homicide to solve and we’re here drudging in the snow.”

“Remember, this was your idea, genius. Unless you can come up with something else, this is all we’ve got.” Sherlock went silent, chewing the inside of his cheek. His mind wandered to try and come up with something snarky to throw at you. Perhaps a witty comeback that would leave you in doubt. The headache he was dealing with was enough to strike him in his train of thought. He shook it off and his focus returned to the matter of urgency. Unsolved case.

Sherlock lifted his face to the sky, blowing a hot cloud of breath into the chilly London air. He tugged his scarf a little closer to his neck, shoving his gloved hands down into his thick coat. The breath cloud was a common habit of Sherlock’s during cold weather. It mimicked the effect of blowing cigarette smoke, just without the tar and nicotine. Fortunately, the only time the detective abused drugs anymore was when cases had him horribly stumped; thanks to you and John’s efforts, his drug use was much more controlled now.

“Five missing children. All between the ages of 7 and 9. We know that the connection is tied to their private schools. Three different religious private schools within a 10 kilometer radius — so, fairly close together. The parents reported their children coming home with expensive gifts from a mysterious donor shortly before they went missing. They referred to the perpetrator as ‘Ray’. Anyone handing out shiny trinkets to naive children is either a philanthropist or a predator. I’d like to bet on the latter.”

You sighed, mentally reviewing all of the evidence from the case in your head. “But all of the children knew basic safety protocols: don’t talk to strangers, never accept anything from strangers, the whole package. Their parents are terribly traditional. They never would have let any of them see the light if they broke any of those rules. So the chances are near impossible that they would have fallen for such typical child abduction tricks.”

“Near impossible, L/n. That means there’s still a possibility and possible is all we need to screw this up,” Sherlock tutted. He blew another large cloud of air, shaking some light snow off his curls. You frowned, “The suspects. We’ve interrogated the popes, teachers, parents… who are we missing?”

Sherlock stopped walking. You turned to check up on him, finding him with his eyes shut. “Maybe we’re asking the wrong questions…”

“Of course we’re asking the wrong questions! We have all the pieces in our hands but no instructions, Sherlock. We’re running in circles with this case,” you walked over to a public railing, leaning against it and looking out across the long white blanket that stretched to the horizon.

He joined your side shortly after, bending down to pick up some rocks to toss down the snowy hill and watch as they made skinny trails in the frosty powder. Sherlock sighed out, exasperated and worn out. “We’re not getting anywhere by mulling over it, are we?”

You smiled at him and shook your head. You pulled your coat a little tighter around yourself. “That’s why I’m here to keep you in check. It’s good to get some air, you know? Christ knows when’s the last time you did that simply because you wanted to.”

Sherlock’s eyebrow perked up and he faced you with a blank expression. “How do you mean?” Your eyes widened a little, unsure of how you should pick out your next words. “Well… you know, you don’t exactly, uh…” Nervously, your eyes flicked up to his. He was watching your expression very carefully.

“You don’t spend a lot of time for yourself,” you said simply. Sherlock frowned in disagreement. “I spend a lot of time by myself. I thought you knew me better than that,” he teased.

You rolled your eyes, leaning your back against the cold railing now, crossing your arms. “In your mind palace, Sherlock. I mean you don’t do things you enjoy.”

“Who said I don’t enjoy things?” he countered your query. You found yourself forming a cold sweat, debating on how to deliver your message. “Hobbies?”

“Violin.”

“Meh. Parties?”

“You disturb me.” Your best friend’s disgust made you cackle. “See, that’s my point! You don’t know how to have fun anymore. What happened to old Sherlock?”

Now this was a personal offense against Sherlock. “What? You don’t think I’m fun?” Sherlock sounded incredibly appalled by your claim. A hot cloud of air rose to the sky when you scoffed.

“Holmes, you are probably the farthest thing when it comes to the definition of fun!”

“Well, probability-wise, that’s highly improbable when Mycroft exists.”

“His poshness makes up for it. You’re just irritating.” Sherlock puffed out his red cheeks, nudging you playfully. “Oh, come on. You must admit that I’m at least an interesting character?”

You pondered in fake thought, scrunching your face together. “Interesting is debatable. Fun? That’s foreign territory, Sherlock.” The tall man grimaced deeply at your bluntness that he clearly had issues with. “What do you mean by ‘Old Sherlock’? What was good about the ‘old me’? I consider myself much more refined in the present day.”

Old memories of the two of you hanging out with one another as teenagers came back to you. A smile melted on your face from the warm feelings of nostalgia, the chilliness from the snowfall leaving your body.

“You used to prank Mycroft all the time. Everything was always a competition with you and me; we would go from racing down the neighborhood to reach my house first or rush to finish homework and claim the telly before the other could. Oh! We would always make up fake cases, too, trying to entertain a mystery that didn’t even exist,” you laughed to yourself, “Look at us now.”

Sherlock grumbled at the reminder of your old shenanigans. He wasn’t always the fondest of his younger self. But he had to admit he was reckless, even as a child. It was a simpler time and kids didn’t have much to fret or fear.

“Now you’re all enigmatic and stoic with your flipped up coat collar and scary cheekbones. The difference is so disappointing, it’s sickening,” you gagged. Sherlock slipped off his glove and jabbed his freezing hand against your neck, making you exclaim at the coldness and shove him backward. He wore a victorious smirk at your suffering. You pointed a hard finger at him, holding back your own laughter to prove a point.

“NO, that’s not being fun, Sherlock. That’s torture- sadism! You’re just an arse!” He threw his arms in the air, tossing his glove in your face. “It’s subjective! I can be fun,” he insisted.

“You’re predictable, Holmes. You don’t remember what good humor is and it shows in your actions. You pick everything up from books and telly. You can’t surprise me anymore,” you declared. Sherlock’s expression contorted into shock as he stared at you in disbelief. You had left the great Sherlock Holmes baffled. The silence was deafening — music to your ears.

When you thought you were winning this argument, a special glint quickly shone in Sherlock’s eyes. Your expression dropped and then you were pushed backward. There was no railing behind you anymore to catch you.

As you were falling, you naturally grasped for something to hold on to. In this case, Sherlock’s coat. The evil smirk on his face was immediately replaced with shock then fear as he was crashing hard into you. Gravity did the rest of the work. With the momentum you had already begun, dragging Sherlock down with you was one of the worst possible outcomes of the situation. A crude curse slipped past his lips and both of you latched onto each other because there was nothing else to brace with.

What was initially meant to be a playful fall down the snowy hill turned into a rolling battle full of frantic thrashing and screaming as both of your bodies thumped and tangled with each other. The two of you occasionally bounced a few inches off the ground and crashed back into the ground, knocking the breath out of both of you. The wild human avalanche down the hill was finally put to a stop when you rolled into a tree. With a loud OOMPH, you and Sherlock flopped into the ground, groaning and croaking in pain. Neither of you moved for the first passing moments, unable to process what just happened.

Your fall was broken when you landed on top of Sherlock, his body sprawled out in the cold snow, rasping heavily. Some snow fell off your form and your arms shook as you propped yourself up, no longer caring about the fact that you applied all the pressure in your friend’s ribs.

“You alright, mate?” you panted, checking up on Sherlock, eyes analyzing him for any serious injuries.

“You take my breath away.” You sputtered and shook your head at his ridiculous humor. “Aren’t you just romantic?” He squinted his eyes and flashed a sarcastic smile but groaned out, “No, really. Please get off my chest.”

“Oh God, sorry,” you scrambled off of him and he rolled over into the snow, gasping for air as he clutched his side in pain. You punched him in the shoulder. “You bloody twat, Sherlock Holmes! Pushing me down a hill by Jove’s sake!”

“I remember it being much more fun when we were younger,” he grunted out, pushing himself onto his forearms. And just then, his eyes burst wide open. His face slack-jawed as his brain computed at top speed. He was onto something.

“Sherlo-”

“FUN, Y/n,” he articulated, scrambling over to you and grabbing you by the shoulders. You stiffened and backed away, startled by his abrupt realization. 

“Oh, Y/n, you are brilliant! This is why we work together!”

“What?! What are you-”

“The kids were abducted because they were having fun! ‘Ray’ is Remus Stooge, another private school kid in the area. The Stooge family owns several of the land plots around this corner of London and they’re the ones funding all three schools — The Stooge’s are plenty wealthy. The children were going to Remus’s home, ditching class time to get a personal house tour of his daddy’s money. The fancy car rides, luxurious delights, shiny sneakers and tailored clothing… Who wouldn’t pass up on an opportunity like that? It only makes sense why they were lured in so easily! Their rich best pal Remus has been the one inviting them right into the trap!”

“What- Sherlock! Where is this all coming from?! How do you even-”

“Trust me, Y/n!! I have it figured out- It all makes sense!” he interjected again. The look on your faces was bizarre. You tossed a handful of snow at him as he blocked it with his hands. “NO?? It doesn’t! This is so sudden-”

Sherlock was on his feet in an instant, brushing off the powder from his coat and yanking you up. His eyes were gleaming with excitement. “We have to go tell Lestrade, now! Call John and get over to the Stooge’s place!”

“To arrest the kid?!”

“No, the butler!” He grabbed your gloved hand and dragged you up the steep white hill. You shook your head wildly, “Holmes, you better have a bloody good explanation for this in the cab or there will be hell to pay.” Sherlock smirked triumphantly and squeezed your hand.

“Come, L/n! The game is on!”

Requests are open! <3

[captainlevisteacup]

Oooh, an idea has struck. The brothers reacting to Dom Male!MC reuniting with his childhood bestfriend in the Devildom, only their bestfriend is now a high ranking/powerful incubus who has a fuck ton of influence & money. (Not nearly as powerful as any of the brothers or Diavolo, of course, but you get the point)

And while normally a simple childhood friend wouldn’t be enough to bother the brothers, DM!MC’s Femboy CH!Bestfriend is the optimum of gorgeous, with a lithe & toned body and an “innocent” charm to him.

Spoiler Alert, CH!Bestfriend has been in love with DM!MC since they were kids (though it was just puppy love back then) and is determined to never let him get away from him again, resulting in him being extra clingy and needy.

Another Spoiler Alert, DM!MC’s childhood bestfriend may or may not be a mix of a “Worship” & “Self Sacrifice” Yandere.. (Look up “The Dere Types Wiki” if your confused)

You have some very interesting ideas😂 im so sorry this took so long, I didn't want to post it until I was back up to my full working capacity after getting injured and after breaking up with someone😁

Anyways, without further ado, here ya go😘

The Brother's Reactions to M! MC'S Yandere Childhood Incubus! Friend

Warnings: Violence, Language, Blood, VERY SLIGHT sexual themes, some non-consentual touching in Levi's section, brief mention of drugging in Beel's

Lucifer

At first, didn't think twice of MC having a childhood friend

But when he heard the word incubus

He got the smile on his face

You know the one

Lucifer "innocently" is around whenever the incubus is around

Its starts off small

Little poisoned glances from the incubus here and there

But eventually it escalated and turned into him putting a possessive arm around MC's waist

Lucifer snapped

The second the Incubus was alone, Lucifer followed him down an alley

Slammed that fucker against the wall and held him there by the throat

The incubus started laughing, even when Lucifer tightened his grip

"You'll never get rid of me. I have connections to everyone, Fallen Angel. I've loved him since before you even knew he existed, and a prissy peacock like you isnt gonna stop me from making him mine, even if I have to drug and kidnap him"

Lucifer only smiled and released him

The incubus smirked, daintily dusting off his lithe figure

Thinking he won, he shouldered his way past Lucifer

Only to stop short in horror

Deep growls greeted him

Lucifer didn't even bother hiding the screams of the incubus as Cerberus ripped into him

After a while, he signaled Cerberus to stop

As the incubus lies on the ground whimpering, Lucifer calmly says:

"Now that I've shown you just what I'm willing to do to protect MC, I'll make you a deal. MC cares about you, as a FRIEND. But his heart belongs to me and me alone, and mine belongs to him. If you can understand and respect that, I'll allow you near him. But one wrong word, one wrong placement of a hand, and I won't hesitate to finish you off myself. And believe me," he says with a dark chuckle "I won't be as gentle as Cerberus."

Mammon

This man immediately is on high alert

Someone trying to take what's HIS?

The incubus makes him more greedy than ever

Decides not to leave MC's side for a second

Even when he's sleeping

When Mammon can't help the incu-bitch (his nickname for the childhood friend) being around, he acts sort of like a child, which makes him look like a dick in comparison to the incubus's calm and innocent facade

Mammon tries to tell MC there's something up, but he just chalks it up to Mammon being Mammon

One day, MC randomly receives news from the human world that his mother contracted something contagious and was placed in ICU

The incu-bitch was, of course, right there when MC started tearing up, letting him cry into his shoulder

Mammon sees this and starts to protest

This leads MC to snap and tell Mammon he's being a child

Mammon leaves them be and thinks hard

Comes to the conclusion that maybe MC is right, and he begrudgingly decides to apologize to the incubus

As he approaches him, Mammon catches a glimpse of the Incubus's *expensive* phone

Unable to resist, he throws a coin against the wall in the opposite direction.

When he turns to look at the noise, Mammon snatches the phone and yeets off to his room

When he gets there, he opens the phone- no lock- and is startled by what he sees

A fake texting app, along with the messages telling MC his mother was sick

Mammon was about to run to find MC, when he heard a slight chuckle

Looking up, he saw the incubus...holding a knife

"You just couldn't stay away, could you? You've been a pain in the ass ever since I got here. But no matter, once MC sees how *cruel* you are to his defenseless childhood friend, he'll want nothing to do with you. And he'll be mine to fuck and own as I please."

Mammon gritted his teeth and ground out "Making MC think his mother was gravely ill just to get close to him when he's vulnerable? You're disgusting. I actually care about MC, and I respect them more than you ever will."

The incubus snorted, and raised the knife.

"Oi! What do ya think you're doing with that?" Mammon yelled

He raised the knife....and slashed it across his own arm

He then threw the knife towards Mammon, threw himself to the ground, and yelled out in pain

Suddenly, MC burst into the room

Mammon sputtered out a panicked explanation, but MC cut him off with a stare

He kneeled down next to his friend, who reached up with a bloody hand to cup MC'S face

MC put his hand over the incubus's....and sharply bent it backwards

He leaned down and whispered into his ear: "I heard everything, you little shit. Now, get the FUCK out of my house and away from my boyfriend, and don't even THINK of defiling my life with your presence ever again"

After he left, Mammon cautiously said "boyfriend, huh..?"

"Shut up mammon"

Levi

Oh, this won't do

Immediately feels threatened and triggered

He is the avatar of Envy, after all

His response?

Prove to MC nobody can know him as well as he can

He does this every single time the incubus is near

"MC, I got you your favorite drink!"

"MC, I ordered you some food. Don't worry, I already know what you like"

Flinches whenever the incu-bitch touches MC. It literally makes him cringe

His suspicions are confirmed when the incubus shoots Levi a malicious glance next time he touches MC

Levi snaps

Challenges the incubus to a video game duel

He surprisingly accepts

He cheats like hell and beats Levi

Levi goes into his demon form and rages

But MC thinks he's just being a sore loser

He tells Levi to back off and to go cool down

Once Levi storms off, the incu-bitch thanks MC for standing up for him

Then, he promptly tries to make a move on MC

He reaches out a hand to unbutton MC'S shirt

MC slaps his hand away, but not before noticing writing on the Incubus's hand

Before he can pull away, MC snatches his hand and sees cheat codes written on them

Gets super upset and tries to get up to apologize to Levi

The incubus pulls him back down by his wrist and pins them to the couch

"MC, don't you realize? You're all I want, all I need. I WORSHIP you, MC. And you're going to be mine. Nobody else can have you. And you're going to love me, whether you realize it right now or not. You'll learn with time to need me just as desperately as I need you"

Starts to take off MC'S clothes in spite of their fighting and protests, the incubus shushing him

"Shhhh, I know you don't see it, but this will make you see."

Levi slams open the door, tail lashing and face white with rage

"Get your normie hands the fuck off of my human. Now."

The incubus nopes the fuck out. He may be a high ranking incubus, but he still isn't as strong as one of the seven demon brothers.

Levi holds MC tightly as they fumble over an apology

"Shhh MC, its okay. I'm here now. Let's watch some anime and calm down together, yea?"

Satan

Do I even have to explain this one?

Is hostile as soon as MC even MENTIONS a childhood male friend, let alone an INCUBUS

Honestly, the Incubus is a bit scared of Satan

But, he decides he wants MC more than he fears Satan

So, he swallows his fear and patronizes Satan in tiny, unremarkable ways

Ways that would only be noticed by Satan

A stray hand here and there that lingers a LITTLE too long

Wiping a crumb from MC'S lips during a meal

Tucking a stray hair behind MC'S ear

Every last one of these actions makes his blood boil

It gets so bad that Satan is just in a perpetual state of rage, never leaving his demon form

Satan starts passive aggressively insulting the incubus's intelligence

"Oh, you mean you don't know how disestablishmentarianism impacted the overall congruence of Midwest society? Thats odd, its fairly simple. Practically common sense."

Is shocked when MC got livid at him, because he was being condescending for seemingly no reason

Starts to get angry at MC

"Can't you see? He's trying to turn you against me. Just LISTEN, DAMNIT!" He says as he grabs MC'S shoulders

The incubus barges in and shoves Satan away from MC

"Are you ok, MC? Did he hurt you?"

The amount of white hot rage in the room was tangible

He can't do it anymore

Slams the incubus against the wall

Knocks him to the ground

But when he falls down

A bunch of photos fall out of his jacket

Not normal photos

Horrifying ones

One of MC while he showers

One of MC sleeping

One of MC changing

Even one of MC and Satan having a steamy moment

MC goes still...and then SLAPS the shit out of the incubus.

He wordlessly turns to Satan, eyes pleading

"It would be my pleasure, MC" *evil grin*

Cue Satan dragging the incubus off by his hair

Asmo

P A S S I V E A G R E S S I V E

He sees this lovely incubus with NEARLY perfect hair, a lithe and toned body, and a seemingly innocent attitude, and he just wants him gone

He's been with plenty of Incubi, so he knows what they're like

Because of this, he doesn't want this one anywhere NEAR his darling MC

Comes up with a plan to use all his fashion design connections to outdress the incubus

He knows they're vain by nature, so he comes to the conclusion that this is the best course of action

But there's a problem

"Is that a statement piece from Priya Lacroix? She hasn't even released her collection yet"

Asmo.exe is not responding

He knows that HE is the only one Priya would ever give an early release to

So why does THE INCUBUS have her statement piece?

And WHERE is his phone?

Complains to MC, but MC doesn't take him seriously because he's too busy catching up with his friend

Asmo gets jealous and storms off to do a stress relieving skin routine

As MC and the incubus hang out, the incubus's phone goes off

Only...the ringtone is sinful indulgence

Mammon storms into the room

"AHA! I FOUND YA ASMO, YOU ANNOYING LITTLE- huh?"

"I/N? Why do you have Asmo's phone?"

"MC, you have to understand, I just want you to realize I'm the only right one for you. You NEED to realize you can't be with anyone else. Because you're mine, MC. You always have been."

Screeching could be heard in the distance, then footsteps quickly getting closer and closer

"THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY" Asmo yells as he slams open the door

"As if MC would choose a crusty, obsessive, STEALING, lying, probably STD having Incubus like you over me! Now give me my phone back and get out of here. And while you're at it, take off that Priya piece. There's a reason I'm the only one allowed early access."

Beel

Honestly doesn't think that much of it at first

He thinks its nice MC reunited with one of his childhood friends, and an Incubus at that

But when he meets the friend, something just feels off

He gets a weird sensation, and its not hunger

Its like his senses are on red alert

The incubus was nice enough to Beel, seemingly charming and genuine

But Beel couldn't help but feel rubbed the wrong way, with a sensation similar to seaweed against legs in the ocean

He doesn't want to mention this to MC, because he's convinced he's just overreacting

He feels a little sad that MC is too busy for him, but he does his best to give them time together

One night, he had made some food in the kitchen and decided to bring MC and I/N some

When he neared the door, he almost dropped the plate

He heard a loud thud, and MC saying "Hey, I said no, okay?"

He gently opened the door and looked at MC, who immediately forced a smile to his face

"Hey MC, I brought you guys some food. Is everything ok?"

"Thanks Beel, that's sweet of you. Everything's fine, I promise"

Beel relaxed a bit, although he still knew something was off.

The incubus excused himself to use the restroom, encouraging MC to eat without him

Beel and MC sat down, and Beel scarfed down his portion

Chuckling, MC offered his plate to Beel, who gladly accepted

The incubus opened the door shortly after with an expectant look on his face, as well as rope and a gag in his hands

Upon laying eyes on MC, a shocked expression came onto his face as his eyes darted between MC and the empty plate

"How are you still conscious?" He blurted

Confusion flashed across MC'S face. "What do you mean, I/N?"

"You drugged it, didn't you?" Beel spoke up.

"I thought it tasted odd," Beel continued "but I never would have guessed you would actually drug MC. I'm guessing you couldn't handle that MC rejected your advances, so you drugged the food while MC was distracted talking to me. Am I right?"

The incubus chuckled. "Guess I was wrong about you. You are more of a threat than you seem. Heh, I guess you're not just a talking stomach after all."

A loud smack could be heard shortly thereafter.

But the devastating blow didn't come from Beel

It came from an enraged MC

"Trying to drug me I could keep my cool over. If thats all you did I would have just told you to stay the hell away from me. But the SECOND you spoke to Beel like that, you signed your own death warrant."

Before he could react, MC summoned the brothers one by one, Beel explaining the situation.

"Well, MC, perfect timing as always. I was just beginning to get bored" Satan drawled

*screams*

Belphie

It takes a yandere to know one

Belphie doesn't want to alarm MC though, so he decides to outmaneuver the incubus without him noticing

It starts small, with I/N reaching out to put an arm over MC'S shoulder, and Belphie's arm already being there

Eventually, they start glaring daggers at each other the second MC looks away

After a while, Belphie decides to up the ante

Religiously falls asleep on MC when I/N is trying to spend time with him

Goads the incubus so much that he corners Belphie when he snaps and can't take any more

"Listen, I know exactly what you're doing. But if you think that YOU can take him away from me, you're sorely mistaken. MC is mine whether he likes it or not. And if it turns out to be the latter, well, let's just say he won't have much of a choice in the matter, nor will you have any control over it. Got that?"

Belphie does the one thing he knows will get the outcome he had painstakingly built up to the past couple weeks: he laughs

"Ah, you have a good sense of humor, know that? Funny stuff. All kidding aside, MC already belongs to me. So your child's play isn't gonna cut it. Got THAT?"

With a choked cry of fury, the incubus pulls out a knife and stabs Belphie

Belphie, having planned this, falls to the floor just as the door opens to reveal a shocked MC.

"BELPHIE! Shit, please be okay! What the FUCK is wrong with you, I/N?"

The stunned Incubus could only stammer out a couple words

"I- he...was gonna...tried to take what was mine. Tried to take you..."

MC laughed bitterly and shoved him to the floor.

"I don't know what sick world you're living in, but I belong to Belphie. I love him. And I hate YOU. Now I'll leave you be so you can deal with THAT. Ta ta." He says as he scoops up Belphie and heads out the door

"Deal with what?" I/N nervously asks after him, backing up warily

The incubus stops when his back hits something hard.

Gulping, he looks up...

"Hello, I/N, I'm Beel."

"Nice to...meet you? I imagine you're one of the brothers?" He replies shakily

Beel smiles. The light doesn't reach his eyes.

"Yes, I'm one of the brothers. You see, I'm Belphie's twin."

Across the house, Belphie smiles at the faint screams, MC curled up next to him after patching him up.

He succeeded in protecting what was his. He deserves a good nap. Holding MC tighter, he goes back to sleep.

[msmarvelwrites]

Coming Home

Summary: Loving Natasha was hard, but losing her was something you were never equipped to handle. Until she comes home.

Pairing: Natasha x reader

Warnings: fluff and feels, explicit language, smut, oral (f receiving- they’re gay bro), a little sprinkle of angst because I can’t help myself.

Word Count: 2.1K

Authors Note: For the incredible @sweeterthanthis’s request ‘Natasha + drunk sex + “believe it or not, this isn’t the weirdest place I’ve banged.”’ Thank you so much you sweet angel baby.

You watched as Steve disappeared into thin air, waiting on bated breath as seconds turned to excruciating minutes. Worry began to sizzle between your small group of friends. Finally, after what felt like hours he reappeared in a flash of white light on the tarmac. Steve took a step, a smug smile playing on his lips... And that's when you saw her.

Natalia Romanoff.

She looked like someone out of folklore, standing there with her flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes clutched to Steve’s arm as if she would topple over any moment. She glowed, you thought, as the setting sun beyond illuminated her hair.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, vision blurry as the sound of her melodic giggle melted over you. The hours you had spent longing to hear it, pretending it was ringing in your ears suddenly didn't do it justice. Like windchimes by the lake.

“Oh my god.” You managed to choke out, your hand coming to cover your mouth as tears began to well in your burning eyes.

Your feet were moving before you could stop them, body taking control as they pulled to her. To a thousand ‘what if’s’. To the woman who haunted your every thought since she had disappeared from your life. You had realised many things since you brought back the stones, one being you were completely and unchangeable in love with your best friend.

“Nat.” You hiccuped on your sobs, calling her attention to you. Her eyes softened the moment they found you, smile pulling wider across her lips as she called your name. You held your arms around your waist, terrified if you let go you’d fall apart. Horrified that this might all be another dream. That she wasn't really standing before you, whole and just as perfect as she had left you.

“Hey, sweetheart. Miss me much?” The words fell from her lips smooth like syrup.

You couldn't speak, to overcome with relief the moment her hand touched yours, pulling you hard against her body as her arms wrapped around your trembling form.

“Cause’ I missed you.”

Tony’s computer monitor was all that illuminated the lab where you had snuck off to when the party began to get out of hand. As soon as Thor brought out his Asgardian sludge you knew it was time to head out. Of course, they all had a good reason to celebrate. But the day's events finally started to sink in, your mind and body tired as relief and solace hung heavy on your heart.

You perched yourself on the windowsill looking out at the rolling hills as the sky began to favour the stars, reflecting to yourself, or so you thought. Your mind was still buzzing with unanswered questions, whirling and drifting in and out of a state of disbelief.

She’s really here, you had to keep reminding yourself. She came back.

Three faint knocks on the glass wall shook you from your thoughts, pulling you back to the dim lab. You looked up, heart hammering in your chest the moment your eyes adjusted to the light.

“Hey babe.” She called, her voice lulling a smile to your lips. You couldn't control it if you wanted to.

One of the side effects of loving Nat.

“Can I join you?”

You nodded your head, patting the empty ledge beside you as she shuffled across the room. The half empty vodka bottle in her hand sloshed a little as she walked, reminding you of just how many spirits you had indulged in that night.

“I still can’t believe you're real.” You mumbled, your eyes scanning over her face as if to memorise her beauty. You hadn't before, when she didnt come back. It was one of your greatest regrets.

“Honestly, I’m still a little foggy on how I’m here, too.” She assured you, her eyes flicking up to meet yours. “But I am. I promise.” her voice was hushed as her soft fingers came to dance along your cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I-I missed you so much, Nat. I thought I’d never see you again… I thought-”

She pulled you against her chest then, her hands running over your back as she held you tight. Her touch melted over you, lulling you calm again.

“I think you need a drink.” She chuckled as you sniffled back another sob. You nodded your head, taking the bottle from her hands and bringing it to your lips, wincing as the liquid courage danced on your tongue.

“I almost couldn't do it, ya know.” Nats words called your attention back to her, your eyes drifting to her lips as she spoke. “All my life I’ve been searching for something to fill this void… Maybe if I hadn't met Steve… Hadn’t met you, the decision would have been easy.”

You gaped at her, the confession hanging in the air.

“I wished it was me who jumped.” You finally spoke, her eyes flicking up to meet yours as sorrow flashed across her face.

“Why would you say something like that?” She snapped, her words hitting you in the gut with force.

“How could I? Nat, how could you? You left me, left all of us. You have no idea what it was like to- to…” You stumbled, alcohol clouding your judgment.

“To what?” She pressed, searching your eyes for answers as you brought the bottle to your lips again, swallowing down your pride.

“To lose my best friend. The person who was supposed to be there… I was supposed to tell you...” As soon as the words left your mouth you regretted them. The look of Nat’s face telling you everything you already knew.

“I was going to tell you… Before you left, but I figured I’d just see you in a minute… Like you said.” You sighed, the memory replaying through your mind like a broken record. It had since she left.

“What are you talking about?”

It was now or never. You knew it, and god you had waited too long already. Your heart hammered in your chest, body trembling as you met her gaze. Every fiber in your being was pulling you to her until you couldn't fight it any longer. Slowly, as if you might scare her, you reached your hand up cup the column of her throat, your thumb running softly against her jaw.

Nats eyes flicked to your lips, her body still as all the air in the lab seemed to dissipate in a breath.

“I mean look at you? God, do you have any idea how hard it is to be in the same room as you and not want to…? Shit, this isn’t how I… Okay, so what I’m trying to say is… Fuck-”

The moment her lips were on yours it was like every thought caught flame and sizzled away. You shivered against her, body searing hot against the touch as her hands held your face. You swear your heart had fallen out of your chest the moment her tongue ran across your lips, begging for more until she was climbing on top of you, hands tangled in your hair.

She growed down into you, her hips moulding with yours as you moaned into her mouth. It was all too much, your heart going into overdrive as her hands fumbled with your t shirt dress. Slowly she dragged it up and over your head, disregarding it somewhere on the floor and instantly attaching her lips to your throat.

“Fuck.” You breathed, hands holding the globes of her ass as you tried to move, overestimating your strength as your bodies toppled over onto the ground, giggles spilling from your lips.

Silence hung heavy between you as you stared at each other, both frozen and unsure of your next moves. Nat opened her mouth to speak but her words caught in her throat.

“I’m in love with you.” You choked out, the words tumbling from your drunken lips.

“I know…” It was all the confirmation you needed, crawling across the floor and pinning her down. Your lips collide with hers, aching, longing to touch her in all the places you craved.

Her tongue parted your lips, moaning ever so softly as your hands ghosted along her curves. You needed her, more than you’d ever needed somebody. Your whole body quivered under her touch, your core pooling with desire as her fingers roamed the waistband of your panties.

“You’re so beautiful.” The words echoed around your mind. “Can I taste you?” The question hung in the air as if it had to be answered. Still, you whimpered out a affirmation as her hand dipped under the fabric, fingers gliding around your sex, everywhere but the place you needed her most.

“You’re so wet, sweetheart. Is this for me?” She teased, lips crashing onto yours as your fumbled with her shirt, finally untucking it from her pants and throwing it somewhere across the room.

“Fuck, yes.” You managed to mumble out, your lip caught between your teeth as you shivered, her fingers feathering over your slick.

“Bet you taste so good, sweetheart.” She spoke, words dripping with desire. You were practically vibrating against her touch, grinding your hips against her fingers as they parted your sloppy folds. Skillfully, she circled your throbbing clit, watching you from above as you fell apart beneath her.

“That’s it, baby.” She cooed, peppering kisses down your neck, chest, stomach, until she was between your thighs. You watched her, breath caught in your throat as she slowly pulled your ruined panties down your legs, tossing them onto the floor.

“Is this okay?” The words startled you for a moment, as you looked down at her hesitating eyes. “We’re drunk and I don’t want you to think-“

“I’m not that drunk.” You interjected, delirious on her beauty.

“Me neither.” She admitted, chuckling softly to herself as she started again, running her index finger against your clit and gliding it deep inside you.

You threw your head back, soft moans falling from your lips as she pumped into you at an agonizing pace.

“Please, Nat.” You begged, desperate for her mouth. “I need you.”

As if the words commanded her, she sunk down, bringing her mouth to your glistening cunt and dipping her tongue into your plump folds. A hushed scream fell from your mouth, careful not to call attention to the activities taking place in Tony’s lab. But as her warm tongue lapped against your throbbing clit, you were shattered. Broken moans laced with profanity and pleasure tumbled from your lips as she sucked on your pussy, lapping at you as you melted into her mouth.

“Just like that.” You uttered, the coil in your belly beginning to tighter as she fucked into you, the vulgar squelching sounds filling the room around you. You were so close, getting off on the mere imagine of Natasha between your thighs.

“Cum for me, y/n. Let me taste it. I want to swallow every drop.” The words were your final demise, your body shaking as the impending orgasm ripped through you, so built up you squirted into her mouth and down her chin. Evidence of your euphoria dripping onto the floor in a puddle beneath you.

“Look at you,” she panted- face slick with your juices as she licked her lips. You physically shuddered at the sight. “You’ve made such a mess. Somebody better clean-“

“You have made a mess, would you like me to assist you?” FRIDAY’S voice echoed through the room, startled you both apart as you scrambled for an item of clothing to cover yourself.

“N-no!” You stuttered out, horrified as if the A.I were watching you.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to get you a mop? Would you like me to notify Mr. Stark?”

“NO!” You both screamed at once. Nat looked just as horrified as you, hand slapped over her mouth as she desperately tried to hold back her laugher.

“Ohmyfuckinggod.” You breathed out, head in your lap as Nat wonder around the room collecting your abandoned clothing.

“I can’t believe an Alexa just cock blocked me” you shook your head, causing her to fall on the floor laughing.

“I don’t think she likes it when you call her that.” She warned as you rolled your eyes, a smile full of content playing on your lips.

“Wanna know somethin?” she started tossing your clothes in your lap as you shrugged on the crumbled fabric, “Believe you it or not, this isn’t the weirdest place I’ve banged.”

You lost it at that, head falling back as you tried to catch your breath. Natasha sank down onto her knees, her hands coming to cup your face.

“I’m so glad you’re back.” You whispered against her lips.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy, babe.”

TAGLIST:

@starlightcrystalline @kalesrebellion @projectcampbell @calwitch @sycochick @sassy-pelican @mollygetssherlockcoffee @amateuratheart @officialmarvelbabyn @a-really-bi-girl @fairislesheets @lookiamtrying @savior-adriana @thefallenbibliophilequote @sillygamingartghost @cutie1365 @sweeterthanthis @drabblewithfrannybarnes @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @whateveriwant

[pocket-luv101]

Summary: Kuro finds Mahiru asleep in his pub. (KuroMahi, Modern AU)

“It was busy tonight. I’ll close up the kitchen so you can go to study for your exam, JeJe.” Kuro told his brother. The family owned a small pub and they would often work late. He was tired himself but he thought it was important for his siblings to focus on school. “Wrath will get angry at both of us if she thinks that I made you work late instead of doing your school work.”

Their conversation was interrupted when Hyde entered the kitchen and said: “We have a problem with a customer. He’s your regular and he’s asking for you, Kuro.”

“Me?” Kuro wondered what the customer could want with him. He didn’t have anyone he would consider a regular customer either. He rarely worked as a bartender since he preferred to cook in the kitchen. His siblings were better at small talk so he would leave the job to them. The pub was quiet so the customer wasn’t violent or angry. He wiped his hands and said, “Can you tell me what to expect?”

“You’ll call it ‘troublesome’.” Hyde told him and took the hand towel he had been using to wipe the counter. He started to clean the kitchen for him while Kuro stepped out of the room. His brother’s description of the customer was vague and he didn’t know what to expect. At first, he didn’t see who the person was and he thought the bar was empty.

He scanned the room and he noticed someone sitting at the bar with their head resting on the table. It was clear that the person had fallen asleep and Kuro sighed. He didn’t know why Hyde asked him to deal with the customer when he could’ve simply woken the man and called a cab for him. Kuro was glad that the problem wasn’t an angry drunk at least.

He stood next to the sleeping man and lightly shook his shoulder. As the man shook his head, Kuro was able to see his face and he gasped softly. He never expected to see Mahiru again, yet here he was. He could only stare at him while the memories of their relationship came back to him.

They had broken up the month before they graduated high school. The tears that Mahiru had that day still stabbed at his heart and Kuro traced his fingers over his cheek. Mahiru had the opportunity to go to a prestigious college and it would allow him to pursue his dream of becoming a photographer. But the school was in another city. Kuro didn’t want their relationship to hold Mahiru back from accomplishing his dreams. He made the difficult decision to break up.

“Kuro…” Mahiru mumbled his name in his sleep and his voice pulled him out of his memories.

“What am I going to do?” Kuro whispered and ran his hand through his hair. He was still in love with Mahiru so he didn’t know how he could face him after their break up. He didn’t know if he came to the bar to see him again but a small part of him hoped that he had. With a shake of his head, he reminded himself, “Don’t be selfish. Mahiru is better off without you.”

Despite those words, Kuro found himself gravitating to Mahiru. They hadn’t seen each other for a year but he hadn’t changed in that time. His face still had the soft and vulnerable expression whenever he slept and the sight made Kuro feel protective of him. Mahiru moved in his sleep and he almost fell off the stool but then Kuro caught him. “You could’ve chosen a better place to sleep.”

He slipped an arm under Mahiru’s knees and supported his back with his other hand. Slowly, he lifted Mahiru off the chair and took him to a lounge chair in the corner of the bar. When he held him close to his chest, he could smell alcohol on his breath. Had he been drinking before he fell asleep at the bar? He would have to lecture his brother about letting him drink too much.

Kuro was careful to not wake him as he lowered him onto the lounge couch. Then, he took off his jacket and draped it over Mahiru so he would be warm. He sat next to him and considered what he should do. Should he wake him and talk? Would it be best to have one of his siblings wake him and send him home?

They hadn’t spoken since the break up and Kuro wondered if college had been stressful on Mahiru. There were dark circles under his eyes so he was likely tired and needed sleep. He decided that it was best to let him sleep on the couch and watch over him. A part of him knew that he chose to let him sleep so he could avoid facing him again.

Unconsciously, he started to stroke his brown hair like he would in the past. Mahiru’s face relaxed under his touch and the small change squeezed Kuro’s heart. One of the things he loved about Mahiru was how honest his expressions were. Seeing him again brought back the regret he thought he had let go. They would call each other a few times after he moved to his new school but Kuro eventually stopped picking up his phone. It was painful to hear his voice when he couldn’t hold him.

“Kuro…” He spoke again. Mahiru turned on his side and hugged the jacket around him. The subtle scent of spices and seasoning that clung to the jacket reminded him of Kuro. In high school, he would visit him after the bar closed and his clothes would smell like spices from working in the kitchen. He realized that the cushions beneath him felt much stiffer than his bed and he sat up in confusion.

His eyes fell onto Kuro next to him. Mahiru opened his mouth to say his name yet he couldn’t form words. He had imagined a thousand different things he would say to Kuro if he ever met him again. They were a happy couple and he didn’t understand why Kuro suddenly broke up with him. He was upset and angry at first but now he only wanted an explanation.

Kuro was the first to speak. “You fell asleep on the counter and I was worried you would fall off the chair. I moved you onto the couch. Do you have a headache or feel sick? I can call a cab to take you home if you can’t drive. Your eyes look alert but your face is a little flushed.”

“I only had two drinks. That’s not enough to make me drunk even if I’m a lightweight.” Mahiru didn’t tell him that his blush was caused by how close Kuro was. He tried to stand but his legs were a little unsteady beneath him. His gaze fell to the ground in embarrassment and sank back onto the chair. A hand fell over his shoulder and he looked back to Kuro.

There was only kindness in his red eyes and Mahiru bit his lip. “Don’t look at me like that, Kuro. You’re going to give me the wrong idea of how you feel.”

“I’m sorry.” He took his hand back and sat next to him on the couch. Kuro didn’t want to see the pain in his else because he knew he would try to comfort him if he did. He broke his heart and he thought he didn’t deserve to hold him. An awkward silence surrounded them and he searched for something to change the subject. “Are you here on break?”

“The first semester ended and I decided to come home to visit my uncle. I’ve been busy with classes and I haven’t been able to stay in touch with everyone. I should go home before my uncle starts to worry. He isn’t as paranoid as Misono’s dad but I don’t want to make him worry.” Mahiru stood and slipped on the jacket. He didn’t notice that the jacket belonged to Kuro. “The cold air will help me become sober again.”

“I’ll walk you home.” He offered. “It’s dangerous to walk alone in the dark, especially when you’re tipsy. We already closed the bar so my siblings don’t need me here anymore.”

“Thank you.” Mahiru accepted but there was a brief moment of hesitation in his voice. He didn’t say anything further as he stepped out of the bar with Kuro by his side. The cold air made him shiver and he pulled the jacket’s zipper higher. He realized that he had put on Kuro’s jacket unintentionally yet he hadn’t commented on it. He reasoned that he could return the jacket once they reached his home.

He lived only a few blocks from the pub and Mahiru found himself dragging his feet to spend more time with Kuro. When he visited the bar, he hoped he could see Kuro again and speak with him. He ordered a few drinks for courage but he ended up falling asleep on the counter. Mahiru watched Kuro in the corner of his eyes. “How has business been?”

“We’ve gotten more customers. Since I graduated, I’ve been putting more hours into the pub and that helped keep down costs. Hopefully, the pub will bring in enough money to put Hugh and the others through school.” Their father had abandoned their family and Kuro did his best to support his younger siblings. Mahiru knew how important his family was so he couldn’t leave them. “What about you, Mahiru? I heard that your photos were featured in your college’s showcase.”

“Yes. I must’ve taken a thousand photos for the showcase. Art school is more work than people like to joke about.” Mahiru smiled wearily. “I threw myself into my work because I wanted to distract myself from our breakup. I couldn’t fully forget you though. The day I had to choose a photo to submit to the showcase, I came across this old picture. It was the reason I wanted to be a professional photographer.”

Mahiru took out a picture from when they were younger. The edges of the paper were worn from age. In the photograph, Kuro was asleep with a cat resting on his chest. “I wanted to take pictures of experiences and landscapes to share with others. While I was in class, each time I took a photo, I thought ‘I can’t wait to show this to Kuro’. Then I had to remind myself we broke up.”

“You deserve someone better than me, Mahiru.” Kuro stopped walking. “I’m sorry.”

“When you broke up with me, you said that it was because you cheated on me. I didn’t believe it then and I don’t believe it now. We’ve known each other for years and you’re not the type to cheat. It’ll be too troublesome.” Mahiru stood in front of Kuro and faced him. He cupped his cheeks and moved his gaze down to him. “Can you lie to my face and say you cheated on me?”

“I…” He started but then he looked into Mahiru’s large eyes. Kuro didn’t know how he was able to lie to him before. He had lied to him when they broke up because he knew Mahiru wouldn’t accept his true reason. He would’ve insisted that they try to have a long distance relationship but Kuro was worried it would hold Mahiru back. “I’m sorry, Mahiru.”

“For cheating or lying to me? Please, Kuro, I need to know why you broke up with me.” His voice started to break in time with his heart. “I loved you and I thought you felt the same way.”

Suddenly, Kuro gathered him into his arms and buried his face into his neck. He held him tight but Mahiru didn’t mind and hugged him in return. He slowly ran his hand down his back to feel his warmth after being apart for so long. Mahiru whispered, “Why did you lie to me?”

“I thought if I hurt you by lying, you wouldn’t have any regrets going to college. That school has been your dream for years. I need to be here to support my siblings and I don’t have a lot to give you. If anything, I’ll hold you back from your dreams.” Kuro didn’t lift his face from his neck and Mahiru could feel his warm breath against his skin.

“I understand, Kuro, I really do. Your family is important to you and I could never ask you to move to Tokyo where my school is. But couldn’t you have talked to me instead of breaking up with me the way you did? It hurt.” Kuro leaned back and tenderly ran his hand over his cheek to comfort him. Mahiru touched his hand and looked up at him.

Mahiru lifted himself onto his toes and kissed Kuro softly. “I could’ve gone to school in Tokyo and still date you. It would’ve been a lot of work but I’m willing to do it if it meant I can be with you. Aren’t we worth the effort?”

“You’re one of the most important things to me.” Kuro brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed his fingertips softly. “I thought I was doing what was best for your future by leaving but I only hurt you. I’m sorry, Mahiru. Will you take me back?”

“That’s the reason I came to your bar.” Mahiru smiled up at him. “Will you stay the night at my apartment? We have a lot to catch up on.”

[barnes-dameron]

Destruction of Government Property

*not my gif

Francisco “Catfish” Morales x reader

Summary: After Frankie leaves for his tour, you get an interesting call from the government about something you and Frankie did before he left...

Word count: 2k

Warnings: one steamy scene, but no smut. 

A/N: I don’t usually write for characters outside of the MCU or SW, but here we go. Saw this screenshot from a tumblr post, and had to write it with Frankie. 

***

You dreaded the ride to the airport, especially since the person you were riding with won’t be with you on the drive back. At least the heavy gray clouds outside seemed to match your mood. It felt like yesterday that Frankie came back. Of course you both knew it wouldn’t be for long, but now that the day has come, you felt a crack form in your heart. 

You glanced over at your husband at the wheel, a solemn look gracing his handsome face. Even when he’s pouting, he still manages to be cute. You knew that he hated leaving you, but he did promise that this one will be the last one. Apparently, him and the team decided on it since Tom wanted to be with his family more, as did Frankie, and the others agreed that they rather retire than have other soldiers be assigned to their team. 

You reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in order to soothe him just a bit. 

“Ten months,” Frankie said, breaking the silence and briefly looking at you before returning his gaze to the road.

“Ten months,” you repeated. “Ten months, and then I’ll have you all to myself.” 

“You already do,” Frankie laughed, fingering the wedding ring that you were wearing. 

“You know what I mean,” you retorted. “Just... no more long trips, no more cold beds, no more worrying if you’ll make it back-” 

“Hey,” Frankie interjected. “You know I will always come back to you.” 

You nodded, knowing that Frankie was right. He was a resilient man despite his seemingly quiet demeanor, something that you were attracted to when you met him years ago. He was determined, but he was also smart. He never knowingly did anything stupid, and thought things out before carrying out the action. He came back from tours before, and you were sure that he would return from this one too. 

Air was struggling to come to your lungs as Frankie parked the car at the airport parking lot. You’ve done this before, but it didn’t make things easier. You looked over and see that Frankie was having trouble to comprehend the entire situation as well. You wouldn’t see each other for ten whole months. He would be in entire different continent, an ocean away from you, risking his life. And you would be here, continuing your civilian life, not knowing what is happening to your husband. 

“One more time,” you pleaded. “One more time before you go.” 

Frankie looked at you, a smirking stretching across his face before reaching his hand down, and pushing the driver’s seat all the way back. You laughed at his enthusiasm before unbuckling your seat belt and climbing over the console to straddle his lap. 

“Okay, we’re going to have to do this quick,” Frankie said, settling his hands on your hips. “I can’t miss my flight otherwise I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Do you think we can break our record?” you asked, arching your eyebrow and flashing him a smile while biting your lip. 

Frankie reached down, beginning to undo his belt and zipper of his uniform. 

“Hermosa, no me dudes,” he growled before bringing a hand to the back of your neck and dragging your lips to meet his. 

You didn’t wait for him to ask for permission, but instead opening your mouth to tangle your tongue with his. No matter how many times you two kiss or make love, you tried to memorize every aspect of it for the lonely nights when he’s away. You gripped his collar as Frankie ground his cock against your core, working you up. 

You broke away from his mouth, placing kisses on his newly shaved cheeks and jaw, missing the scruff that used to be there. Frankie’s hands drifted to your ass, squeezing the flesh as you continued to make your journey down to his neck. You kissed and sucked the spot on his neck that you knew drove him crazy. His low groan rumbling in his chest and his tightened grip on your ass only encouraged you. You bit and sucked on his skin, tasting the tingle of salt and inhaling the spicy scent of his cologne. 

“Quit teasing,” Frankie panted, smacking your ass playfully. “Tick tock, remember.” 

You broke away, ignoring the red spot that bloomed on his neck. You smiled to yourself before pulling up the dress that you wore specifically for this purpose, and pulling aside your panties. 

“Okay, let’s do this.”

***

The plane ride was unbearable to Frankie. Well, everything about this trip was unbearable to him, except your little escapade in the car at the airport parking lot. It was beginning to be a little tradition for you both, but that time would be the last one under those circumstances. Francisco hated to say goodbye to you, even if he was going to see you again. He hated to see the tears in your eyes, and hated even more that he wouldn’t get to be with you for close to a year. 

The ride was long, the seat were uncomfortable, and the food sucked. It didn’t help that Benny snored when he slept, Pope would listen to his music so loud that Frankie could hear it, even if Santiago was wearing headphones, and Frankie had the middle seat. He couldn’t even get a lot of sleep because someone behind him was shaking their leg causing his seat to jostle around. For the first time in his military career, Frankie was excited to be at the base. At least here he could catch some sleep. He just needed to get through this debrief meeting. 

“Alright men,” the General said, drawing Frankie out of his thoughts to pay attention. “You have now what you need to carry out the mission tomorrow. Dismissed.” 

Frankie was the first to stand up and begin to make his way out. 

“Morales,” the General’s voice stopping him in his track as Frankie let out a sigh. 

So close. Frankie turned around, straightening his spine and folding his arms behind him. 

“Yes, sir,” Frankie responded, trying to remain cordial while his blood boiled when sleep was calling his name. 

“What’s that on your neck, soldier?” the General asked. 

Heat bloomed in Frankie’s chest, reaching up his neck, and spreading to his cheeks. He reached his hand to his neck, his fingers settling on the mark that you left. It was tender under his touch, and even if he himself didn’t see it, he knew that it was purple. He thought back to the car, your mouth on his flesh. He thought for sure that the mark would be concealed under his collar, but he was wrong. Frankie licked his lips as he struggled to meet his General’s gaze. Catfish could see Pope and Benny behind the General, giving him a devious smile as they tried to conceal their laughter. Frankie cursed underneath his breath. 

“It’s nothing, sir,” Frankie replied.

“Don’t lie to me, son,” the General demanded, his voice gruffer than what it was before. “What is that on your neck?” 

Frankie took a deep breath, trying to swallow down the embarrassment. Nobody else left the meeting, instead standing around to watch this interaction. 

“A hickey, sir,” Frankie responded, much to the delight of his friends. 

Benny failed, and let out a huff of laughter, causing Will to elbow him in the ribs. The General’s attitude, however, was unwavering. 

“And who gave it to you?” the General asked. 

Frankie bit his lip, looking down at the ground before looking back at the General. 

“My wife,” Frankie said. 

The General eyed him and then the hickey on his neck. The room was so quiet that a fallen pin could be heard. Everyone waited to see what the General will do, but were all surprised that he left without saying a word. Once out, Santiago and Benny let out their laughter, bending forward with their hands on their knees as their raucous laughs filled the air. Frankie was still in the same position, stuck in bewilderment from the oddity of what just happened. Pope clapped a hand on Frankie’s shoulder, before pulling Frankie’s collar down to further display the bruise on his neck. 

“Wow,” Pope exclaimed, examining your handiwork. “Your wife did a bang up job, Fish.” 

Benny laughed even louder as Redfly scolded him. 

“I’m never gonna live this down, aren’t I?” Frankie asked, biting his lip while casting his gaze downwards, not wanting to look at his friends. 

“Never,” Benny confirmed. 

***

The house was dark when you got home from work, much to your disappointment. You longed for the times when Frankie was home before you; the lights on, music playing, and his relaxed figure moving about in domesticity. But instead it was dark, quiet, and empty. 

You turned on the hallway light of your little house, illuminating the picture that hung near the front door. It was photo of you and Frankie from your honeymoon, his smiling face still greeting you despite the distance. You smiled to yourself, reaching up to drift your fingers over the image. It’s been nearly a day, and you already miss him. 

You were drawn away from your thoughts when a buzzing sound in your purse broke the silence. You reached in, fingering around to find your phone and fish it out. You arched an eyebrow as the words “NO CALLER ID” displayed on the screen. But nonetheless, you picked up. 

“Hello?” you asked, your brows creasing towards the center. 

“Is this Y/N Morales?” the man asked, his voice sounding deep through the spotty reception. 

“Yes,” you confirmed, uncertainty evident in your voice. 

“Mrs. Morales, are you aware that you have committed a misdemeanor?” the man implored. 

Your stomach sank to the floor when it reached your ears. Your heartbeat began to quicken, as panic arose. 

“What do you mean?” you asked, gripping your phone tighter. “I’ve never committed any kind of crime in my life. What misdemeanor?”

“Destruction of government property,” the man answered. 

“Destruction of government property?” you repeated. “I’ve never destroyed, or even defaced any government property. Well, one time I wrote on a dollar bill but that’s only because I didn’t have any paper and it was an emergency. Is that what this is about?”

“No ma’am,” the man replied. “I’m talking about the mark you left on Lieutenant Colonel Francisco Morales.”

“Mark?” you asked. “What mark?”

The man was silent for a moment, and you could barely hear the gulp he made over the phone. 

“The hickey, ma’am,” the man said, his voice a bit shaky. “The hickey on Lieutenant Colonel Morales’s neck.”

You instantly remembered the day he left. You did bite his neck, but you didn’t intend to give him a hickey. You forgot about how easily he bruises there. You let out a breath, rubbing your forehead with your other hand. 

“Are you serious?” you asked, annoyance creeping in. “I’m facing a misdemeanor charge for giving my husband a hickey? It’s not like I did graffiti on a government building or defaced a statue. And since when is a person considered government property?”

You could tell that the man was flustered due to your line of questioning, and you were annoyed that you could potentially get fined because of something stupid like this.   

“Ma’am,” the man sputtered out, his voice trying to come off calm but still was shaky. “We’ll let you off with a warning, as long as it doesn’t happen again.” 

“You know what,” you said, done with the military and government at this point. “Fine. Fine, whatever.” 

You didn’t bother to say goodbye, just hanging up the phone. It was the military who was putting your husband’s life at risk, and it was the military who threatened you with misdemeanor charges. Yeah, as long as Frankie was in the military, you won’t give him any more hickeys. But this was his last tour. 

You threw your phone on the couch as you made your way to the living room to unwind. You couldn’t wait until Frankie got home. He will be out of the military, and you plan to keep him in your shared bedroom. Yep, when your husband gets back, you’re going to mark him up so good that it’ll be weeks before they disappear completely. 

Taglist: @absurdthirst​ @tangledlove27​

[dameronology]

a world on fire {poe dameron}

summary: passion is good, fire is good - but breathing is more important (based loosely on just a lover by hayley williams, naturally) 

warnings: mentions of infidelity, language 

i just love angst. i really love angst. i like to hurt. enjoy :)

- jazz xx

Poe Dameron was a paradox. 

On one hand, he was a complete bad-ass. The best pilot in the Resistance and righthand man to the General. He was a leader in the making and everybody looked up to him, even when he was chaotic as fuck. The way he went into battle with his common sense both simultaneously present and no-where to be found would go down in the history books. His parents’ spirit and good-natured lived on through his selflessness. He was untouchable, in a way; a man made of titanium with a never-ending wit and a will of steel. A hero. 

On the other hand, he was...Poe. Your Poe. The man whose eyes lit up when he spoke about his late mother; the man who turned up at your door at 5AM in floods of tears because he’d just finished a book and had to tell you about it.  Poe with the warm brown eyes and lopsided smile, whose brows creased together whenever he got a little confused about something. Poe, who left you little notes around the base when he knew you were sad, and brought you random gifts back from his trips to other planets just because. Completely complex and yet entirely understandable, but one of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen, inside and out. 

Especially now. At 5am, under the thick canopies of the Ajan Kloss jungle; the air around you was stuffy and fresh in equal measures, casting a cold chill over your bare arms and legs. It was raining, but not really. The sort of dumb rain where you smell it in the air and see it hit the ground, but never quite feel it on your skin. Poe had called it soft rain. Still, you would have taken it over a storm, because you only wearing a baggy old shirt and some pyjama shorts. 

Poe was stood opposite you in a similar attire - except instead of opting for boots, he was still wearing his Ewok slippers (albeit, slightly soggy Ewoks). You were perched on a log with the pilot stood a few feet away; he’d been ranting for the better part of fifteen minutes, but you’d zoned out long ago. His dark curls were sticking to his forehead thanks to the rain, and he had that spark in his eyes that they held whenever he was talking about something he loved. It was an easy sight to get lost in. 

‘Anyways, so I know you took dances classes a kid and I was thinking you could help me-’

‘- woah, when did we get to that?’ You blinked in surprise. 

Poe rolled his eyes. ‘You zoned out again, didn’t you?’

‘I’m sorry!’ You groaned. ‘It’s late - or early, I can’t tell.’

‘You’re a nightmare.’ He shook his head with a laugh and stuck his hand out to you. ‘C’mon. You can make it up to me by teaching me to dance.’

‘I don’t dance, Dameron-’

You let out a squeak when he took your hands in his, wrenching you up and off the bench. Stumbling for a moment, your chests collided, an easy balance settling over you as steadied you with an arm to the waist. You were in his eyeline now, the perfect position to hold his gaze in yours and just...stare. It wasn’t something you did often, but right now, it was impossible not to. He was smiling ear to ear, honey eyes creased at the side as he dragged you away from your little safe spot and into a dirt clearing, mid-Jungle. 

He held you flush against his body, intertwining your fingers. What the fuck were you supposed to do? You didn’t dance. Hadn’t for years, and you were beginning to regret showing Poe those pictures of you in ballet class. It was comical that he thought you knew how to ballroom dance, or at least know enough to teach him enough for his first dance. You felt your throat dry up at that thought, quickly pushing it to the back of your throat. 

‘There’s no music, Poe.’ You tried to pull away, but his grip on your hands only grew tighter. 

‘When have we ever needed music?’ Poe softly smiled. He pulled you closer, trying to fight back a laugh as he comically swayed from side to side. 

Your eyes fell to the floor, and you forced a smile. ‘You gotta keep your back straighter.’ 

‘Got it. Posture is key.’ He adjusted his stance. ‘Anything else I oughta know?’

‘You should lead.’ You continued. ‘Because you’re taller.’

‘And how do I do that, chief?’

‘Just...go in whatever direction feels right. No harsh turns, just kinda make it flow, y’know?’

‘Like this?’

He moved his hand to the small of your back, pulling you in the other direction. You almost tripped as he did, burying your head in his shoulder to suppress a laugh. His body shook with a chuckle, mirroring yours. 

‘There’s this song my mum used to sing to me at bedtime.’ He softly said. ‘I don’t remember the words, but I know the tune.’

‘Are you implying that I’m about to get a live performance?’ You lifted your head up to look at him. 

‘You did say that we needed music.’

You stayed like that for a moment, bodies mere inches apart, swaying side to side. Poe murmured a soft tune; it was familiar, like a sweet and distant childhood memory, softly filling the air around you. You kept your arms circled around his waist, shirt balled up in your fists and head planted firmly in his shoulders. He didn’t know it, but it was a moment of pure desperation, wanting to cling onto him for dear fucking life. This might be the last time you were this close; the last time you could ever have him hold you in this way. You would have given anything, not just in the galaxy, but far beyond that, to stay like this a little longer. Just you and him, closer than you’d ever been, under the golden glow of the Ajan Kloss moonlight and the soft sprinkle of the rain.

‘Do you think I’ve got it?’ He asked quietly.

‘Yeah.’ You murmured. ‘You do.’

‘I appreciate you, sweetheart.’ He smiled. ‘Can’t be making a fool of myself at my own wedding, right?’

His wedding. Not your wedding. Just his, and a girl you’d barely made the effort to get to know.

That was your own fault - a mixture of jealousy and guilt, probably. Jealousy, because she was getting to marry the man you’d loved for as long as you could remember, and guilt, because you’d fallen into bed with that man several times since he’d put the ring on her finger. You could barely look her in the eye, knowing what you’d done - but it had never stopped you. Every time was supposed to be the last time, but then it became a past time. 

Sneaking about behind her back, promising it would never happen again, only to fall between the sheets mere weeks later. It was never about love, or cementing anything long term. It wasn’t because Poe wanted to be with you instead or because he was trying to sabotage his engagement. It was just...it was one of things that could never quite be explained. You loved one another more than life itself, in an all consuming, debilitating way, but it never worked out when you tried. You didn’t want to be together, but you didn’t want to be with anyone else. It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense. 

Then there were moments like this; just you and him, against the backdrop of a vast galaxy but unable to think about anything else or look at anyone else. The whole world could have been up in flames and neither of you would have noticed. It didn’t matter where you were, or what you were doing. As long as you had Poe, you had everything. 

But that was about to change. He was marrying someone else, and this whole thing would have to stop. Not just the sneaking about and the stolen kisses - in reality, that never have started in the first place - but everything. Because even if Poe completely dedicated himself to his wife-to-be, and demoted you to just a friend, you could never manage it. You were like two ends of a magnet, completely unable to stay away from one another. You’d already crossed too many lines.

‘Poe.’ You softly murmured. Your hands dropped back to your sides, letting go of your grip on his shirt. ‘This has to stop now.’

His smile softened. ‘Is my dancing that bad?’

‘Not your dancing, dumbass.’ Your pained tone didn’t quite match your words. ‘Us.’ 

‘Right. That.’ Poe sniffed. He let go of you, backing over to where you’d been sat on the log a few moments prior. 

A small sigh escaped your lips, and you trudged across the muddy ground, taking a seat beside him. The atmosphere had quickly changed from something sweet to something bitter. It made you wish you’d savoured that soft moment with Poe for a little longer, because now you’d brought up the subject, there was no going back. This was it now. You had to rip it off like a band-aid. 

‘I like us.’ Poe murmured quietly. 

‘There is no us, Poe.’ You reminded him. ‘We tried, remember? And it never worked.’

‘What’s the last few months been then?’

‘It’s been us living in a bubble. Pretending that if we ignore the outside world, that we can be together.’ You said. ‘But reality is gonna catch up with us, and we have to get on top of it before it does.’

‘Maker.’ Poe sniffed. ‘I always said I’d never be that guy.’

‘I shouldn’t have made you that guy.’ You reached across and took his hand in yours. Giving it a squeeze, you brushed your thumb over it and let go. 

‘Time to face the music, huh?’ Poe’s eyes followed you as you stood up. 

‘’fraid so, Dameron.’ 

You wanted to say it, to blurt it out: I love you.

In reality, what you had was just infatuation. It wasn’t love, not in the long term. It was passionate and intense, as though the world around you were on fire. It burnt bright and true, lighting up everything around you and keeping you warm inside. Ultimately, though, it was susceptible to burning out. And once it had, what would be left? Ashes. Burn scars, and strangled cries for what you’d lost. 

Like fire, the entire thing was suffocating. Depriving you of oxygen and swallowing you whole; making you feel like you had the weight of the world of the chest. It was okay, though, because when you were with Poe, breathing didn’t matter all that much. 

You had to step away; fan the fire out and let your lungs fill with air, so that you could scream. Scream for him, scream for the fact you would only ever be a lover, and an affair that would pass in time. 

When the flames were gone, when you’d let out a cry of war and grief, you could take a step back, and maybe, just maybe, breathe him in again. 

tags: @marvelinsanity​ @poestardust​ @princessxkenobi​ @nomanchesnoncreator​

[aalissy]

Winter Storms and Hot Chocolate

Whew, I'm finally getting another one-shot posted hehe. And it's about Adrienette too!! I love these two dorks soo muchhh <3. I hope you guys like them too :). Lemme know what you think! A sleepy, cuddly Marinette is my fave hehe

AO3

Marinette stood at the door of the bakery, glaring at the snow that was quickly transforming into a fierce blizzard. Turning her phone on, she checked the weather, groaning to herself when she saw that a freak snowstorm was set to happen today.

Marinette bid her parents goodbye with a quick glance over her shoulder before ducking out of the shop. She shivered as soon as she got one foot out the door, the vicious cold already making her wish she was back at home in the warm, comfortable bakery. With a small whimper, she continued down her path, determined to make it to her favorite fabric store. 

The terrible weather had affected her much more since becoming Ladybug and even waking up this morning took her years. Marinette had barely registered the sound of the blaring alarm and needed Tikki to shout at her in order to wake up. Practically stumbling out of her bed, she bundled up into thick fleece, itchy wool, and layers of cotton. Even still, it did little to help the drowsiness coursing through her bones.

Just one second. Let me close my eyes for just a second. I’m only going straight for the next few metres. It’s okay, Marinette thought to herself as the time between her blinks grew longer and longer. She barely realized it when she was walking down the street with her eyes closed. Suddenly, her eyes flew back open when she crashed directly into someone’s chest, the both of them letting out a startled groan. The only reason the two of them were standing upright and hadn’t fallen into a heap on the ground was because of the warm—and welcomingly familiar—grip the person had on her shoulders.

“Marinette?” asked a smooth and recognizable voice. “Are you alright?”

She looked up in surprise, seeing blonde hair and brilliant, green eyes. Her brain worked furiously for a moment, her forehead scrunching as she tried to focus on the boy in front of her. “A-Adrien?” Marinette asked after a few moments of thinking.

“Yeah,” his head tilted curiously. “You look exhausted. Are you trying to get home?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I just left actually. I’m trying to get to the fabric store to get some new stuff for your guys’ Christmas presents.”

Adrien’s brow furrowed as he looked down at her. Eventually, he sighed lightly, throwing an arm around her shoulder as he began leading the two of them somewhere. “Come on, let’s go and get you warmed up first,” he said with a worried smile. “You shouldn’t be stumbling around in the cold like this.”

“Mmm, has anyone ever told you how warm you are?” Marinette murmured blearily, snuggling further into his grasp. The delicious aroma of cinnamon and lavender wafted around her and she squeezed him tighter. 

Buried in his chest as she was, she missed the soft look Adrien gave her. She did hear his deep chuckle, though. “Oh yeah?” he asked. “But no, I don’t think anyone’s ever told me that before.”

“They should. You make a really nice pillow,” she smiled happily, barely aware that she was speaking. Adrien gave another hearty laugh but didn’t respond. 

The two walked in silence for a few more moments, Marinette’s eyes closing fully as she let her crush guide her along, relaxing into his hold. It wasn’t until she heard the sound of a tinkling bell that her eyes were able to open again. She was surprised and greeted by the warm atmosphere of a café. A small smile spread across her face as she took in the welcoming aroma of delicious coffee and hot chocolate. She felt Adrien gesture her forward. 

“After you,” he smiled.

Walking into the cozy building, the designer finally felt a little bit more awake. Stopping suddenly inside the entrance, she snuck a peek back behind her. The model was still standing there, smiling gently at her. Her gaze snapped back forward again, her cheeks flushing a bright red. 

Oh my god, so this isn’t a dream, then? I actually bumped into Adrien and told him he made a good pillow?! No, no, this can’t be happening!! 

Pulling on her pigtails once, Marinette quickly took a seat by the window, gnawing on her lip as she stared out into the snowy world that taunted her. Gulping quietly, she peeked up at Adrien from beneath her lashes as he slid into the seat across from her. He peered back at her, a look of concern on his face. “Are you alright, Marinette?” he asked. "You looked really tired today. Are you sick?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just sleepy. Winter is really not my season.” She gave him what she hoped was a wide, reassuring smile.

“Is that why you keep falling asleep in class then?” he teased her, his green eyes shimmering playfully.

Marinette’s cheeks darkened and she ducked her head shyly. “Maybe,” she giggled nervously before tapping her index fingers together.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Adrien grinned softly back at her. “I actually know someone else who doesn’t do too well in the cold.”

“Y-you do?” she tilted her head as she looked at him curiously.

“Yeah,” his gaze drifted away from her and out the window as he nodded his head slowly. “One of my best friends absolutely hates the snow.”

“Nino hates the snow, really?” Marinette blinked at him a few times. “I had no idea.”

Adrien chuckled at her, shaking his head, “No, no, not Nino. Nino actually loves the snow. He says it helps his creative process.”

“Yuck, really?” she asked, scrunching her nose at the thought. “I barely get anything done during wintertime. I’m too sluggish.”

“My friend says the same thing!” he exclaimed, eyes brightening as he looked back at her. “She moves so slowly and says that you’re meant to stay at home, buried deep under the covers whenever it starts snowing.”

“Your friend is smart,” Marinette giggled. “I’ve said that exact same thing before.”

Her thoughts drifted back to her partner. Chat Noir was there during the cold, windy nights where she had to brave the winter weather for patrol. He was always equipped with two cups of hot chocolate and a blanket that they shared to warm up before heading off to watch the city. 

With a quiet, happy sigh, Marinette was suddenly hit by a large craving for the hot chocolate Chat always brought for her. So, when their waiter finally arrived, she chirped out her order cheerfully, “One hot chocolate please.”

She was somewhat surprised, however, when Adrien ordered the same thing as her. “I’ll take a hot chocolate too,” he said. “Ooh, and with extra marshmallows, please!”

Marinette’s lips twitched into a small smile. That was similar to her partner too. He always had a large pile of the delicious dessert in his drink. Raising a curious eyebrow at him, she spoke up, “You like marshmallows then?”

“Oh definitely,” Adrien grinned back at her. “They’re delicious! And hot chocolate with marshmallows is the best drink during winter!”

She giggled quietly at him, “Hot chocolate is my favorite too! It completely warms you up when it’s cold! Especially when it’s snowing like today!”

Adrien opened his mouth to speak but was stopped as their drinks reached the table. Marinette smiled thankfully at their waiter before sipping on the delicious beverage. Any last remaining chill that she had been feeling immediately evaporated upon a sip of the hot chocolate. She hummed, taking another large gulp before grinning up at the boy across from her, “Are your marshmallows good?”

“They’re perfect!” he grinned back at her.

There the two sat in the small, warm café, chatting about the latest schoolwork and updates to their favorite game. They both sipped gradually on their drinks, almost as if neither of them wanted to leave. Marinette even congratulated herself over how well she was handling the conversation with her long-time crush. Eventually, though, her gaze was drawn over to her phone where she gasped at the time. She needed to get back soon! She still had homework due later today!

“I’m so sorry, Adrien,” she said as she scrambled for her purse in a panic. “I lost track of time! I need to get home and I still don’t have any of the material I need! I’ve gotta go!”

“It’s okay, I’ll walk you,” he waved their waiter back over who he handed a few Euros over to.

“Oh no, no! It’s okay! I can pay for my half at least,” Marinette frowned over at him.

Adrien merely gave her a reassuring smile, shaking his head, “No, it’s fine. I dragged you in here so the least I can do is pay for your hot chocolate. Consider it an early Christmas gift,” he winked at her.

Turning a bright shade of pink, Marinette gulped quietly, trying to ignore the implications that this was a date. “O-ok,” she stuttered slightly as she stood up. “B-but you don’t have to walk me over. I’ll be fine by myself, really.”

“It’s no problem, Marinette! I don’t have anywhere else to be and I don’t want you passing out in the middle of a street,” he teased her.

Her blush darkened as she mumbled, “Okay.”

After that was decided, they walked to the front entrance, with Marinette taking a big gulp of air before heading out into the cold winter storm. Almost instantly, the warmth that she had gained from the café left her. Yawning quietly, she nuzzled into Adrien’s side, enjoying the heat it granted her. He leaned down to talk to her, causing his warm breath to brush against her ear, “Where are we going, Marinette?”

“Huh?” she blinked up at him slowly before her eyes widened in realization and she looked around. “O-oh, we should take a left here, and then it should be straight ahead.”

“Got it,” he murmured back at her before taking her hand in his. Her blue eyes shot open at that, looking up at him confusedly with a deep, red blush. Adrien merely shrugged at her, winking again. “I don’t want you to get lost.”

“R-right,” Marinette gulped, turning away from his glimmering eyes to look at their surroundings. Shivering as another cold snowflake hit her face, she clutched Adrien’s hand like a lifeline, breathing out a quiet sigh of relief when they finally spotted the fabric store. When they entered the building, she let go of his hand to instead point a finger at him. Ignoring the feeling of loss she felt as her hand left his warm grasp, she spoke sharply, “No peeking! I don’t want you guessing what your gift is!”

“I understand, Marinette,” Adrien chuckled, grinning down at her.

Shooting him one last suspicious glance, she turned to look at the rows of fabric in the store. Quickly, she pulled out three different colors for her friends, deciding on orange for Alya, dark green for Nino, and a bright red for Adrien. Marinette headed up to the front counter to pay for the three fabrics with a quiet, frustrated breath. 

With them safely tucked into a bag and away from enquiring eyes, she looked around for Adrien. She eventually found him looking at a row of fabric, awe clear in his eyes. Clearing her throat, she stepped toward him. “Are you ready to go Adrien?”

“Yeah,” he snapped out of his daze and brought his gaze over to her before shaking his head with wonder. “I just don’t know how you do it, Marinette. How you turn this into beautiful clothes. You’re amazing.”

“O-oh thank you,” Marinette blushed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “I-it’s just years of practice, I guess. I was pretty bad when I started out.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Adrien said as he came over to take her hand once again. Together they walked to the front of the store. “Are we heading to the bakery now, or did you have another errand to run?”

She shook her head quickly. “N-no, I’m going home now. B-but, Adrien, you don’t have to walk me there. You’ve done a lot for me already. Seriously, thank you! I don’t want to take up the rest of your night.” “I already told you that it’s fine, Marinette. I want to make sure you get home safely. Besides, I could really go for a croissant right now,” he beamed down at her before pushing the door open. Groaning as the wind blew against her face, Marinette instantly turned to Adrien for some form of warmth. Her crush chuckled softly before murmuring, “I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

Her heart practically flip-flopped at that, butterflies erupting in her stomach. She glanced up at him to give him a soft smile, mouthing thank you at him. Why does he have to be so cute? It’s just not fair, she practically whined in her thoughts. 

With her nestled into his side as she was, Marinette barely noticed when they finally arrived back at the bakery. She only realized she was home after Adrien leaned down to whisper to her, “We’re here.”

“We are?” She peeled an eye open that she didn’t even remember closing. Slowly, they both blinked open as she realized that they were, in fact, at the entrance to the bakery. “Oh, we are!” she exclaimed.

Adrien chuckled at her before wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. “Thanks for hanging out with me today Marinette. I had a great time.”

“N-no!” she stammered as she hugged him back. “Thank you for hanging out with me! I don’t think I would have made it home without you. Seriously, Adrien thank you .” Marinette leaned up on her tip-toes to brush a kiss against his cheek. Her cheeks flamed as she set back down on the ground, giving him a wide smile.

“It was no problem, really.” He rubbed the back of his neck shyly.

“W-well at least come inside so you can warm up and I can make you that croissant you wanted.” Her smile widened into a beam as she held the door open for him.

Adrien stepped inside the bakery as she followed after him, happy butterflies dancing in her chest. I’m so glad this wasn’t a dream and I did actually stumble into Adrien! Best day ever! Maybe ... maybe I can confess to him today ...

Chewing on the edge of her lip nervously, she walked towards the boy conversing happily with her parents. He turned around to greet her when she approached with a large, beaming smile. “Hey, Marinette! Your parents made us some croissants! Do you want to head upstairs and eat them with me?”

As his head tilted at her adorably, she felt her heart thump rapidly in her chest. Sucking in a deep breath for courage, she nodded. “S-sure, Adrien. That would be great!”

“Cool!” he said with a boyish grin, taking her hand in his as he tugged her up the stairs.

Barely stifling a quiet squeak, Marinette let Adrien guide her upstairs, briefly catching a glimpse of her parents’ knowing smiles. He let go of her hand when they entered the living room, sitting on her couch and patting the spot next to him. 

Giving Adrien a shy smile, she settled down by him, avoiding his glimmering, emerald green eyes. Her hands tore into her croissant as she tried to summon every last ounce of bravery she had. Come on, Marinette! You can do this! I believe in you , she thought to herself determinedly.

Turning to Adrien with one last deep gulp of air, she blurted out almost in perfect unison with him, “I have something to tell you!”

The two blinked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. In between giggles, Marinette wheezed out, “Y-you go first.”

Adrien gave a small but decisive nod before he leaned in closer to her. His eyes seemed to scan their surroundings warily before he looked back at her seriously, a hint of fear and worry dancing in his gaze. Slowly, his hand came up to cover hers, giving it a soft squeeze. Marinette gulped once nervously before he cleared his throat and stuttered out, “I-I know who you are.”

A deep frown creased her brow. “What?”

“I-I didn’t mean to! I swear ! It all happened so quickly! One second I had detransformed and was about to leave when you came barreling in! And I tried to hide, really I did! I hid behind a dumpster and covered my eyes but then your kwami said your name and then I guess I just knew,” Adrien spoke quickly, his eyes searching her gaze hopefully. 

Marinette sat frozen on the couch, her mouth wide open in horror. Trembling slightly, she stuttered out, “A-Adrien, I-I don’t understand. W-what are you talking about?! A kwami ... what’s that?”

“It’s okay, Marinette. You can trust me,” he said with a small, anxious smile, “Besides, I know you know what a kwami is because you were once Multimouse.”

“Multimouse,” she frowned at him, “But you weren’t... wait!”

She gasped in shock as Adrien merely nodded his head at her. “At your service, m’Lady.”

“Oh my god, you’re such an idiot!” Marinette shrieked at him, “We’re not supposed to know our secret identities.”

“I know and I’m sorry but I mmph—!” She cut Adrien off with a passionate kiss, relaxing as he melted into their embrace. 

Eventually, she pulled back, glancing up at him from beneath her lashes. “That was what I wanted to tell you, by the way.”

“Wha ... huh?!” Adrien blinked down at her dumbly.

Marinette giggled shyly, rolling her eyes, “I wanted to say that I love you, Adrien. Ever since you handed me that umbrella, I’ve been yours.”

A slow, wide smile stretched across his face before he hugged her tightly to his chest. Adrien connected their lips together once more before breathing out, “I love you too, Marinette.”

[fatiguing-thoughts]

Healing - Chapter 3 - Paul Lahote x Reader

Surprise Time - Part III of the series 

Paul’s POV

When her tired voice pleaded with me to warm her up, to lay down next to her, I thought I was going to explode. 

It was beyond difficult to see (Y/N) struggle so horribly. To see her curled form under the sheets, to hear her broken voice. To know that I had to drag this poor girl out of bed would be beyond difficult.

Especially when she asks me to take a nap with her, how could I say no?

I turned the shower on for her, knowing it had been far too long since her last. I noticed the way her hair dulled, I wasn’t able to smell any of her soaps like I normally did.

Her tiredness showed on her face brutally. Though even the pure exhaustion and drained state didn’t dampen her beauty a bit. 

No, I still noticed the way her eyes managed to light up when she saw me; though it was far dimmer than ever before. I heard her heartbeat increase, her excitement growing. Albeit minimally while she was in this state, it still made me feel good in knowing that I could bring some life back into her. 

While I waited for her to finish showering, I found myself thinking about the same thing I always did when it came to (Y/N). I was in love with her, since we were kids. But.. nothing just ever happened. She got into a relationship and I... had relations. One thing that always drove me mad was that I wish I could tell her about the bond we shared, but the right time never came. 

I wanted to tell her when she first found out about the pack, about the entirety of the supernatural world. After all, this bond was the only reason I was actually allowed to tell her. I was thankful that it was her, though I hated that she was dragged into this crazy world. But having her by my side, even as a friend was heavenly. It only intensified my feelings for her. 

But at that time, she needed a protector after some rogue vampires were getting a little too cozy in the area. She was panicked out of her mind, I was standing watch outside of her house all night for weeks. At that time, she needed a protector. At that time, she was already dating Michael, who definitely hated my guts. He knew how I felt about (Y/N), but she didn’t think so. She was not only oblivious, but I knew she didn’t want to lose me from her life. While she was with Michael, she needed a friend. 

And right now, even after the asshat up and left, she still needs a friend. 

I’d be anything she needed me to be. 

I could just hope that one day we become something more, something I’ve always wanted. And I know she wanted it, too. She was just too scared, too scared to lose me. Too scared to lose us. 

No, now wasn’t the right time to tell her, but I wasn’t sure if there would ever be. I wanted (Y/N) to love me for me, she needed to heal. I know she does deep down, but right now she was far too clouded. 

I also needed her to know that I loved her for her, not because some bond told me to. It was just some intense icing on the cake. 

The sound of the water stopping dragged me out of my thoughts, bringing me back into reality. I decided to pick up the dirty clothes on her floor, dropping them into her hamper. I made her bed and simply tidied up her room. 

Anything to encourage a more peaceful mind. I knew that a neater environment would help her, messy environments will keep you down. She needed a fresh start, something to encourage her. I know she always felt a little better with a neat room, so I just tried my best for a few minutes. 

Hearing her soft footsteps approach the bedroom again, I smiled to myself. 

I thought about the way she looked with her wet hair hanging off her shoulder. The way she looked so great in just jeans and some t-shirt.

Wait. That’s my old t-shirt. I didn’t even think she still had it because of Michael. 

“What’s the plan for today?” She asks, sitting down next to me.

“Well, that’s actually a surprise. Let’s get going.” I smile, standing up.

“Thank you for like, making my room like not horrendous.” She smiles up at me. 

“I thought it would make you feel a little better to see a clean room.” I smile, reaching out to put an arm around her, giving a comforting squeeze. “As for the surprise, we should go now.” 

“Lead the way, Lahote.” 

We made our way out of her house, heading over to my truck. And then we were on our way.

“So is the surprise a different waterfall?” She asks, turning her attention away from the window. 

“If I told you, how much of a surprise really is it?” I smirk, looking over at her. 

“I guess you’re right.” She faintly chuckles. 

Even a faint chuckle was enough to give me hope, hope to hear her really laugh soon. 

“I usually am.” 

The drive was a little longer than anticipated, but watching (Y/N) point at every tree she liked, which was a lot of trees, I realized that the old (Y/N) shone through more often. She was finally healing.

I watched as she laid her head against the window, eyes shutting closed for just a moment. Relaxation taking over, slowing down her heartbeat. 

“We’re here.” I break the silence a little while later, stopping the car. 

“Where are we?” She asks, looking around. 

“Well, I told you I’d bring you to a waterfall. But the surprise is the hike to the waterfall, there’s some really cool stuff on the way.” I smile, helping her out of the truck. 

“Ooh, is it a big hike?” 

“A bit, but if you get tired I’ll put you on my back.” I shrug, nudging her lightly. 

“Sounds like a plan.” She chuckles. 

First stop was the labyrinth in the clearing on the way. About a mile and a half into our hike we stumbled across the stone covered floor. 

“Wanna see something cool? This was the cool surprise.” I smile down at her.

“I like cool things.” 

I led her over to the center of the circle, watching her admire the stone on the ground. Observing the woods around her. 

“So if we stand here in the dead center, everything you say will echo.” I smirk. 

“No way.” She nudges me with a smirk.

“Look.” I say, pausing before I spoke up. “Echo!” I yelled. 

I watched as her eyes lit up, a giggle escaping through the curl of her lips as the echo of my voice entered her ears. 

That giggle echoed throughout the labyrinth, sending blissful chills up my spine, a smile taking over my face completely. Her happiness gave me life.  

“Oh my god, that’s so cool, let me try. Uhh... Hi!” She yells, laughing at herself. 

When her echoes returned to her, she jumped up excitedly, practically falling into me. The desire to just hold here there was unreal, but she wasn’t ready for that. 

I wouldn’t dare, I couldn’t hurt her. I can’t cause her soul any more pain. 

The excitement in her eyes was priceless, something I hadn’t seen in a long time. It was something I’d do anything to see. 

After a few moments of us yelling to ourselves, laughing and having a little too much fun, we were suddenly silent. 

Her eyes met mine and I felt the world stop-- just like every time our eyes met. She looked like she wanted to say something, and her eyes held something more intense. 

But her wonderous eyes and increased heartbeat once ceased, as she realized how we both felt. 

Her lip began to quiver and her chest fell, as if someone took the air from her lungs. I noticed her nerves picking up, she grew afraid of herself, of her feelings. 

“Let’s go to the waterfall.” I suggest softly, nodding my head encouragingly. 

(Y/N)’s head nodded quickly and I felt her begin to calm down. So I led us to the waterfall. 

I watched as she clumsily made her way down the trails. I had to guide her at a few points, but overall she kept up pretty well. The sound of the falls entering my ears. 

“Wow.” She breathes out, walking closer. 

“Right? It’s really nice out here.”

“It really is, thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“For being here for me, for taking me here. Just being Paul.” She smiles up at me. 

“You don’t have to thank me, I want to be here for you. I care about you.” I smile, pulling her into my side. 

“It’s important to thank those who care for you.”  She looks up into my eyes, making me melt. “Thanking those who you care about it important.” 

“You’re right.” 

We sat, watching the waterfall and eating the lunch we packed. Though, it wasn’t too long before it was time to head back. 

The hike back wasn’t as long, but it was just as fun. It was nice to see (Y/N) looking alive, looking like what I remember. 

I watched as she grew tired by the minute, her steps slowing and her knuckles growing white from clenching her fists so hard. The way she was running out of breath. 

“Are you getting tired?” 

“No, I’m great.” She turns around, though her voice broke as she was out of breath. 

“Mmmhmm, sure. Sounds like it.” I tease. 

“Alright, fine. I’m a little tired.” She admits, looking at me sheepishly. 

“Get on.” 

I crouch down and stand in front of a rock, making sure it would be easy enough for her to get onto my back. 

“Are you sure?”

“Very.” 

Finishing off the hike with her on my bike was blissful. To feel her so close to me, her head resting on my shoulder, and her hands on my chest. Getting back to the truck was quicker with me walking, but if I was smart I would’ve walked a lot slower. 

I walked her over to her side, helping her in before getting on our way back to her house. 

“Thank you for today, Paul. I appreciate it.” She says, laying her head on the window. 

“Of course.” I smile, watching her eyes droop. 

The ride back was silent, as she had fallen asleep. But her heartbeat was enough noise for me to be happy. Waking her up didn’t really work all too well so when we got back to her house, I picked her sleepy state up and carried her into her house. 

I laid her on her bed and made my way to leave her house. 

“Paul, wait.” She whines from the bed.

“Yeah?” 

“Stay. Please.” She pleads. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Very.” 

I smiled to myself, making my way back over to her bed. I felt her arms wrap around me and pull herself closer to me. 

“You’re so warm.” She mumbles into my shoulder, nuzzling her face into me.  ___________________________ Word Count: 1888

[marwritesgood]

Rewrite | M. Martinez

Pairing: Mario x Diaz!Reader

Timeframe: Season 3

Summary: As life with their newborn becomes increasingly difficult, Mario and Y/n stop seeing each other eye-to-eye (and other stuff happens).

masterlist

A/N: (This is one of the longest things I’ve ever written (I actually had to cut it down and group some paragraphs together bc it exceeded the limit), but I couldn’t help myself. I really enjoyed exploring the dynamics between the characters and all the themes that came with it. To keep it from dragging on, I condensed the canon timeline and changed some details around - hopefully it’s easy to keep up with x

It had been a month since the birth of my and Mario’s son, Manuel. What I had expected to be the beginning of the happiest chapter of my life turned out to be quite the opposite. And it had nothing to do with the people around me or my son.

Mario’s family were so supportive of us. Abuelita insisted we stay with her until we had the funds to get a place of our own. Both her and Geny were constantly offering to babysit Manuel, which I took up almost all the time, much to Mario’s dismay. Even Oscar tried to pull money together every other week to help us out. I should have been nailing this whole motherhood thing in theory because I had so much support from everyone I loved. In reality, however, I was struggling to get by.

“And you’re sure you fed him before you left for work?” I was on the phone with Mario as I pulled up at Oscar’s house. When it came to getting out and taking the buckles off Manuel’s car seat, I pressed my phone against my ear, using my shoulder. “The one I put on the counter, right?”

“Yes,” Mario replied, his aggravation vividly clear in his tone. I had to stop for a moment to try and keep myself from crying. I had been doing a lot of that lately at the worst times, and I couldn’t understand why. When I didn’t respond, Mario sighed loudly. “Look, babe, you can’t keep calling me when I’m at work... I’m new to the job, and I’m already on my boss’ bad side.”

I inhaled sharply. He was right.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, trying to control the way my voice sounded so Mario wouldn’t be any more concerned about me than he already was. 

“... I’ll see you when I finish, okay?” 

After a short moment, he hung up, and I put my phone in my back pocket, thinking back to the times where he would never end a call without telling me he loved me. I didn’t know if it was because he genuinely didn’t catch on, or he was too eager to leave the conversation, but I needed that reminder now more than ever. 

I slung my bag over my shoulder before picking up Manuel’s car seat, where he was fast asleep. After closing and locking the car I was borrowing off of Abuelita, I headed inside Oscar’s house. I hated the days where I was left alone with my son. The days where no one was around to take him off my hands. So on days like these, I would go to Oscar’s house and spend the day there, just so I wouldn’t be left alone with Manuel.

“He sleeping?” Oscar asked after he heard me come in. His back was turned against me, and he was facing the counter where he was making two cups of coffee for both of us. 

“Yeah,” I answered, exasperated from carrying my son and my belongings inside. After putting Manuel, who slept quietly in his seat, down on the couch, I joined Oscar, who smiled at the sight of my son sleeping soundly. 

“How you been?” Oscar asked, nodding at me as he pushed a mug of coffee in my direction. I hummed as I lifted it up and took a sip. I couldn’t drink coffee as often as I liked since I was breastfeeding, but I saved the few times I did when I went to Oscar’s. He made it the best.

“Good,” I answered, without even pausing to think. Oscar shifted his attention to me and watched as I fiddled with the handle on my mug. I knew he wanted to pry. He wanted to ask me more and more questions until I finally gave him a truthful answer, but I wasn’t ready for that. Fortunately for me, before he could say anything else, Cesar came bursting through the front door, throwing his bag on the ground before approaching Oscar. I held the handle of my mug tightly as I watched him speak.

“There’s a dude posted up outside.”

Oscar got up instantly and walked outside, his gun in his hand, ready to be fired. Cesar followed him, trying to stand next to him as he approached the guy across the street, only to be pushed behind by Oscar. I took the opportunity to peek through the sheets of tin foil Oscar had covering the windows. After squinting my eyes to try and make out the man standing on the other side of the street, a duffle bag by his feet with an oddly familiar stance, I began to piece together who it was.

My father.

Before my brothers could make their way back inside, I took Manuel into my old room, which Oscar left untouched since I had moved out after giving birth. I could faintly make out the sound of their conversation in the living room area, so I took my time putting Manuel and my bag down. When I finally made my way back to where my family were seated, I could see the tension between all of them. My dad and Cesar looked up at me when I walked in, but Oscar remained glaring at Ray. 

“Cesar, you need to get to school,” Oscar said flatly.

My little brother lifted his hands in annoyance and immediately looked at me. Often, when Oscar told him to do something he didn’t want to, he would turn to me in hopes that I would say the opposite. It was always that way, never vice versa. But, when it came to either one of our parents, I had to have Oscar’s back.

“Go,” I told him, and he reluctantly picked his bag off the floor. I took his spot on the couch and joined Oscar in, glaring at my dad. He looked no different from the last time he bothered to come around. 

“You still in school?”

“I finished over a year ago,” I droned, wanting more than anything to take my son and leave, but I knew I couldn’t leave him alone with Oscar. Not to mention if I did leave, I would have no place to go but back to Abuelita’s place where I would be left alone with Manuel. 

“College?”

“Are you kidding me?” I laughed dryly. Oscar shook his head.

My father inhaled slowly, his eyes scanning the room before landing on the corridor that leads to the bedrooms. I felt my heart begin to pound, fearing for where this conversation was heading. 

“The baby you took to your room,” he began, confirming what I had already expected. I hadn’t done as good of a job at hiding Manuel as I thought. “... yours?”

I could see Oscar getting angrier and more aggravated by how he clenched his fists and his jaw. He was always protective of Cesar and me when it came to our dad, but it appeared to be tenfold with Manuel. I glanced over at my brother, but he was too busy glaring at Ray to notice. Sighing, I turned back to him and nodded. There was no point in hiding Manuel’s existence from him. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t still try and protect him.

“... The father?”

Ray hesitated before asking. I could tell that, while he was obviously curious to know, he was also cautious that he was digging too deep so suddenly. Oscar huffed, rubbing his hand over his facial hair, clearly annoyed. I felt indifferent.

“Mario Martinez.”

“Martinez?” He raised his eyebrows before pulling his blunt back towards his mouth. After exhaling slowly, releasing a cloud of smoke, he nodded, seemingly impressed. “... Good family.”

“I didn’t ask for your approval,” I scoffed before standing up and turning my back to him. I looked down at Oscar and signalled him to follow me into my old room to have a conversation outside of our father’s earshot.

Once he had followed me inside, I closed the door to ensure privacy before turning back to my son, who was thankfully still fast asleep. I began packing his things up as I spoke to Oscar.

“What are we gonna do?” 

After gathering Manuel’s things, I brought the handlebar of his car seat up so I could be ready to take him to the car, through the backdoor, as soon as Oscar and I were finished discussing our next course of action.

“I don’t know,” Oscar sighed as he shoved his hands in his pockets. I sat on my old bed and looked up at him silently. After a moment, he looked back at me. “Cesar wants to... take him out for lunch tomorrow.”

The way Oscar explained, I could tell how immensely uncomfortable he was with the thought of it and with how eager Cesar was to reconcile his relationship with. 

“Want me to go with them?” I asked.

He nodded. 

I sighed but nodded back. As much as I wanted to avoid having a conversation with my father, let alone sit and have a meal with him, I couldn’t leave Cesar to meet him for lunch on his own. I couldn’t let him get too close and too vulnerable with Ray. 

Oscar and I knew better than anyone how that would eventually end.

***

After leaving Oscar’s place, I noticed that Mario’s car was parked outside the building when I got home. Manuel had fallen asleep during the car trip, so I carried him in his car seat inside.

After I took him to his nursery and placed him in his cot, I went back into the kitchen area where Mario was grumbling as he did the dishes. It was getting late, so I assumed he was just tired.

I walked over and stood beside him so I could give him a hand, but he turned to me with furrowed brows before I could do so. My heart began to pound because I knew I had done something to upset him.

“You said you would do the dishes today,” he stated sharply. I sighed before dropping my head down. “It’s so late. Where the hell have you been?”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled before reaching past him so I could finish washing the rest of the dishes. I hoped that would be enough to defuse the tension, but Mario simply took a step to the side and continued to glare at me as he waited for an explanation. “- I was at Oscar’s, and I lost track of time. My-”

“I don’t care,” he interrupted, the volume of his voice rising abruptly.

Whenever Mario and I fought, he was never the type to yell, no matter how angry he got. I always worried that I would end up pushing him over that edge one day, and it seemed like today was that day.

“Mario,” I whispered, slightly startled by how angry he was getting. There was obviously more to it than just me forgetting to do the dishes.

“I work so hard to support you and Manuel,” he began, his voice growing louder from what appeared to be frustration. “I asked you to do one thing.”

“I know, but-”

I was planning on leaving Oscar’s place early to make it back in time to get all the housework done. When my dad arrived out of the blue, it put a wrench in my plans. Mario cut me off before I could explain that to him.

“And what’s up with you calling me at work all the time?” His expression was saturated with anger. I wondered how long he had bottled up this resentment. “I thought you would be used to taking care of Manuel on your own by now.”

“I’m trying,” I cried in reply. I really was.

“Try harder,” he said in an icy tone, his expression becoming emotionless all of a sudden. I held my breath, trying to suppress my tears. “You shouldn’t be taking Manuel out so late... you need to start being a better mother.”

He turned around and walked into our shared room. Once I was sure he was out of earshot, I turned my attention back to the dishes I was cleaning, trying to keep myself distracted.

When I felt my tears beginning to pour out of my eyes, I knew it wasn’t working.

All of the insecurities I felt about being a new mother were beginning to surface. I wanted desperately to be everything Mario and Manuel needed me to be, but I just felt like I could never be able to do that. And it was killing me inside.

***

The following morning, I woke up extra early. I tried to get as much housework done as possible to give Manuel his second bottle for the day. Normally Mario would because I would be too exhausted too, and because it normally fell around the time, he was set to leave for work.

Since the night before, we hadn’t spoken to each other, so I thought doing that would be a step in the right direction for us. Apparently not.

“What are you doing?” Mario asked, startling me as I tested the temperature of Manuel’s milk on my wrist.

“I was gonna feed Manuel,” I explained.

“But I feed him his second bottle,” Mario said, anger and annoyance both prevalent in his tone and his expression.

“I know,” I replied calmly. This was appearing to have the opposite effect to what I hoped it would; Mario was seemingly getting angrier with me. “I just thought you might want a break from having to feed him this morning.”

“Looking after my son isn’t a burden, Y/n,” he retorted, his voice getting louder with each word he spoke. My eyes grew wide. I didn’t know whether to be startled or offended.

Was he insinuating that I made looking after Manuel seem like a burden?

“I never said that,” I responded.

Just as I finished speaking, the sound of Manuel’s cries sounded throughout the room. Mario turned back to me, holding his hand out so he could take the bottle and feed our son. Not wanting to argue with him, I reluctantly handed it over.

He left for work without saying goodbye to me, even though I stood in the kitchen and watched him go. Normally he would kiss me goodbye before leaving to go anywhere. I knew this was a testament to how angry he was.

Once it was nearing lunchtime, I took Manuel and dropped him off with Geny. When Abuelita saw me crying by the kitchen sink the night before, she sat me on her couch and consoled me. After I explained to her what happened with my dad, she called Geny. At first, she wanted to confront her son about how he spoke to me, but I talked her out of it. After that, she offered to watch Manuel for the afternoon while I went to lunch with Cesar and my dad.

Once I dropped Manuel off to her, I headed to Dwayne’s restaurant, where Cesar and our dad were seated at a booth. As I approached them, Ray sat up uncomfortably.

“Sorry I’m late,” I said as I took a seat next to Cesar, who immediately passed me his plate of fries. I turned to him and smiled, only to be met with a concerned expression.

“You okay?” He asked, knitting his eyebrows out of worry. I had forgotten I spent the night crying and that my eyes were slightly puffy.

“Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep,” I answered a beat too quickly for Cesar to be convinced. Nonetheless, I knew he would look past it so he could continue catching up with our father.

“I was just telling Cesar how good it is he has a job,” my dad said, as he took a bite of the food Cesar undoubtedly got him with his employment perk.

“Yeah, Dwayne’s always been good to me,” Cesar explained, smiling nervously as he fiddled with his fingers. It was endearing and concerning the way he was so anxious he was acting like an overexcited child. “Even when things got hard.”

I placed my hand on him should and gripped it tightly. Cesar was one of the more emotional ones of the Diaz men, but that didn’t mean he was always upfront with how he felt.

“I heard about your mom,” our dad said, looking up at the two of us nervously. I stared blankly at him, trying my best not to glare, but I promised Cesar I wouldn’t be hostile at our lunch. “I should have reached out... I’m sorry.”

I looked over at Cesar, and I could tell he was trying his best to maintain his smile. I was the only person he had ever spoken to about our mom, but those conversations were infrequent and always emotional.

“You should try the char burger,” I said to our dad before sliding out of the booth, so Cesar could step out. “You’ll like it... Cesar, why don’t you go order one for him.”

He nodded before leaving so he could head towards the counter. I slid back into the booth and glared at my father.

“What’s your deal?” I asked angrily, annoyed that he would bring up such a painful memory for Cesar, let alone myself. “It’s not enough to traumatise us; you have to come back just to pour salt in our wounds?”

“That’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here, huh?” At that point, I was just as curious as I was angry. He had been in and out of prison for over a decade, yet the last time he bothered to stop by, Cesar wasn’t even old enough to form memories.

“I... I wanna patch things up,” he said.

It really took him over two decades to grow a conscience and make an effort in his children’s lives.

“Look,” I whispered before glancing up at Cesar, who was in the process of getting the char burger. I sighed. “Just... tread lightly for now, okay? Cesar wants to catch up with you, not relive his childhood trauma.”

Ray inhaled deeply before nodding. I felt protective over Cesar, but when it came to our parents, this was only heightened. I was not going to let my dad hurt him. Not on my watch. Once Cesar was approaching the table, I slid out so he could sit in his initial spot.

“Where’s Manuel, Y/n?” Cesar asked.

My breath hitched as it dawned on me that I forgot to ask Cesar not to bring him up in front of our dad. Once he mentioned him, however, I knew there was no going back.

“He’s with Geny,” I answered before taking a bite of my plate of fried. Ray watched me intently before speaking up again- exactly what I feared he would do.

“Is there any chance I could meet him?”

I had to physically and figuratively bite my tongue. As much as I wanted to respond snidely, I knew that would only damage my relationship with Cesar- who made me promise that I wouldn’t be hostile at that lunch.

“I’ll think about it,” I replied. Cesar’s expression didn’t seem to change, so I knew I had answered in a way that both kept the peace and ensured I could continue to control how much of a role my dad would have in my son’s life- which, if it were up to me, would be minuscule.

Just as the conversation headed towards a different, much safer direction, my phone began to vibrate.

After I excused myself from the table, I went outside the building and answered the call.

It was Mario.

“Why does my mom have Manuel?” His tone was accusatory and angry. That seemed to be the case for all of our conversations.

“I’m at lunch-“

“You left Manuel so you could go for lunch?!”

“It was important, Mario.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He was speaking so loudly, I had to hold my phone at a distance away from my ear. “What kind of a mother are you? What could be more important than our son?”

My breath hitched, but I tried to recover quickly. Nothing was more important to me than Manuel, but I needed Mario to know that I wasn’t avoiding my responsibilities as a mother for something trivial.

“I’m at lunch with my dad,” I explained, trying to speak as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t have the chance to interrupt.

“... You’re dad’s back in town?” I was relieved that he was calming down, finally understanding why I was too preoccupied to have Manuel with me at all times.

“Yes,” I answered, trying to keep my tone neutral despite how much I was on the verge of tears. “- but don’t worry. I’ll pick up Manuel... I know I need to start being a better mother.”

I made it a point to use Mario's exact phrasing when he scolded me the night before. Just as he began spluttering a response, I hung up the phone.

***

It had been a week since I met Cesar and Ray for lunch. I hadn’t heard from either of them nor Oscar until I was on my way to picking up Cesar. Normally he preferred to make his own way home, but he had plans to meet with Ruby and wanted me to give him a ride. Just as I pulled up in front of Dwayne’s barbecue joint, my phone began to ring. As soon as I answered it, the sound of my older brother’s voice sounded throughout my car. Needless to say, he was angry about something.

“Did you know he got him a job?” 

There it was.

“Huh?” I answered, completely taken back by what he had said. I suspected he was talking about Ray, but for Cesar’s sake, I hoped he wasn’t. “- what are you talking about, Oscar?”

“Cesar got the viejo a fucking job,” he yelled, his voice growing louder and angrier with every word he spoke. “- what happened to keeping an eye on him?

“I-i had to leave early,” I sighed. “Cesar must’ve talked to Dwayne after I left.”

“Well, great fucking job, y/n,” Oscar retorted. I could feel the pace of my heartbeat quickening the louder and madder he got. I felt overwhelmed. “You were supposed to make sure Cesar didn’t get too close to him; now they’re workmates.

“Look, I know you’re mad, but could you stop yelling at me?!” My voice shook as I spoke, and I felt my eyes water and hands shake. I didn’t know what was coming over me, but I had no control over it. “- I have enough people telling me I’ve fucked up. I don’t need that shit from you.”

There was silence for a prolonged moment, and I groaned quietly. I didn’t mean to overshare, but it was too late to take it back. I didn’t want Oscar to worry about me more so than he already did.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled quickly. “... you alright?”

“I’m good,” I replied, even though he and I both knew I was far from it. Nonetheless, I wanted to end our conversation as swiftly as possible. The longer I stayed on the line, the more I feared he would pry into what was going on with me. “- Don’t worry... Look, I know it’s messy, but there’s nothing we can do without hurting Cesar. We just gotta wait it out and see how it goes.”

After agreeing to do so, Oscar hung up, and I finally made my way inside. My dad was wearing an apron and stood by the front counter. It eerily reminded me of the times he would cook for my brothers and me when we were kids, that is, in between the times he abandoned us and showed up when he needed a place to crash. When the doorbell rang as I walked in, he looked over to me and smiled. I almost didn’t want to glare at him. 

“Hola mija,” he greeted as he approached me. I hated to admit it, but I could see how hard he was trying to be an accomodating host. “Can I get you a menu?

“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “- no, I’m just here to pick up Cesar. He said he needed me to give him a ride somewhere.

“He’s in the back,” Ray replied, nodding towards the entrance to the storeroom. “I think he’ll be out soon.”

“So,” I began, trying to fill the awkward silence. Though I still had 19 years worth of resentment towards him, I wanted to be civil. “You’re working here now, huh?”

It felt strange talking to my father like this. The last time he was around, I was around Cesar’s age. Now, we were making small talk like the two adults we were. It felt uncomfortable because part of me still felt like the girl I was when he left, the girls who had been hurting for almost 10 years because of what he did.

“Yeah, it’s nice... Dwayne’s a good boss.”

“Yeah,” I smiled in agreement. Mr Turner was one of the kindest people I knew. Whenever I came into his restaurant after school, he always made sure I left with an empty stomach even if I didn’t have any money. Now, he was doing the same for my little brother. “He’s always been good to Cesar.”

Just as I turned to call Cesar to come out from the storeroom, my dad spoke up, causing me to turn my heel back and face him. He seemed hesitant, which was a strange sight. I remembered him being certain of everything he did. 

“Hey, um,” his nervousness was heavily prevalent in his voice. I tried to prepare myself for what he was about to say, knowing it would have a significant impact. “- I know you said we could talk about it later... but I really wanna meet my grandson.”

I inhaled sharply. Of all the things he could have said, I was not expecting him to bring up Manuel. Considering his track record, I assumed he would be gone before my son crossed his mind again. He seemed to prove me wrong.

“- I know, you have every right to say no,” he added, in a tone I could only assume, and hope was sincere. “- I was a horrible father to you... but I’m hoping I can be a good abuelo... if you give me a chance.”

“I don’t know...” I sighed. I still felt uncertain about my dad and his agenda. I felt uncertain that he changed enough to be sincere, let alone enough to have a place in my son’s life. 

Although he was Manuel’s grandfather, and nothing I could do would ever change that, I had control over who came and left my son’s life. I would not let him in without confirmation that he was better, that he had changed.

“I understand,” he answered.

The two of us stood in awkward silence for a minute or so before Cesar entered the dining area, his backpack clutched in his hand. He seemed concerned by the way my father and I were standing, the tension between us physically apparent just as it was figuratively.

“Hey, you ready to go?” I smiled as I turned to face my little brother. I didn’t want him to worry any more than he already did.

Cesar nodded, drawing his attention away from the tension between our father and I. Just as we were about to turn and leave, Ray pulled out a brown to-go bag from behind the counter.

“Here, mijo, I got you something,” he said as he handed the bag to Cesar, who was taken aback but smiled nonetheless. “I noticed you didn’t have anything to eat when you were on your break.”

I glanced back at Cesar, who seemed grateful. Often when he had a lot on his mind or a lot on his plate, it was easy for him to forget to do important things like getting something to eat. Moreover, when Cesar did realise what he had forgotten, he would often try to hide it. It took a bit of paying attention before Oscar, and I picked up on it. I was impressed that my dad managed to do so in just a day.

“Do you need a ride?” I asked my dad, who shook his head and smiled.

“No, I’ll be okay. I still have a few more hours to go.”

“... Are you working tomorrow?”

“No,” he answered. I could tell he was worried about where my subtle interrogation was headed.

“Okay,” I smiled, knowing what I would say would make him happy. “Come by my place tomorrow morning... You can meet your grandson then.”

He grinned as he inhaled deeply. I smiled weakly before placing my hand on Cesar’s shoulder and walking out of the restaurant, hoping with all my heart that I wasn’t making a mistake.

***

My dad arrived at my doorstep the next morning, almost half an hour before the time we agreed upon. He tried to hide it when I greeted him, but I knew how happy he was that he was finally getting the chance to meet his grandson.

“Where’s Mario?” Ray asked nonchalantly as I led him to Manuel’s nursery.

“He’s working,” I answered shortly, not allowing my dad the chance to pry. “Just watch your step when you come in. There’s lots of toys lying around.”

I smiled wearily at my son as I carefully picked him up from his bed. I was getting more confident in holding him, but I still felt scared every time I did. As I cradled him in my arms, I looked over to my dad, who had carefully navigated his way through the array of baby toys on the ground. 

“Here,” I said softly, as I slowly moved towards him, carefully transferring my son from my arms and into his. Watching him cradle his grandson so carefully and with so much concern made me smile. “His name’s Manuel.”

“Manuel,” he repeated, smiling as my son continued to sleep soundly in his arms. I couldn’t help but smile. This was a side of my dad I forgot existed. He shook his head as he continued to grin down at Manuel. “... que lindo.”

I turned away and began folding Manuel’s freshly washed clothes away. As I pulled open one of the drawers, I looked down and saw my dad’s duffel bag in the corner of my eye; fully packed and discarded by the door. That’s when I began to piece together why he wanted to meet my son so soon. I pushed the drawer shut slowly before turning to back to my dad, who was still oblivious to what I had figured out.

“You’re leaving?” I asked, glancing pointedly at the bag he left by the door.

He slowly turned around, carefully placing Manuel back in his cot, before turning back to me. When he didn’t say anything- only nodded guiltily as he shoved his hand in his back pocket, I wanted to scream.

“Why?” I questioned, trying to understand why he was choosing to leave again, especially after reconciling with Cesar and finding out he has a grandson. Did those things mean nothing to him? Did we mean nothing to him?

He glanced back at Manuel before leading me into the living room, knowing that I wasn’t gonna be quiet. I closed the door behind me and began scolding my dad.

“Can’t ever think about anyone but yourself,” I shouted in frustration. I had really hoped he changed. “This is gonna break Cesar, but you don’t give a shit about that, do you?”

“Mija-”

“-And what about trying to patch things up, huh?” I wasn’t going to let him speak. Not until I got what I needed to say off my chest. I didn’t get to do that the last time he walked out, and I had regretted it ever since. “How do you think they’re gonna react when you tell them?”

When my dad stood silent, eyes falling to the ground, I stumbled back. 

“What, you’re dumping that on me too?”

Silent filled the air for a prolonged moment. I glared at my father, bewildered by what he was doing and how little regard his plan had for me and how I would be affected. He looked like he was about to speak.

“I’ll call Cesar when I get to Bakersfield,” he said as if that solved the issue. “Oscar... he’ll come around, but... he’s gotta let go of that rage-”

“- Stop,” I hissed, holding my hand up and shaking my head angrily. I began to regret ever inviting him inside. “You don’t get to do that... You don’t get to come here and try and tell us what’s wrong with us- You’re what’s wrong with us.”

“Mija-”

“And would you stop calling me that,” I snapped, raising my voice louder, although Manuel was sleeping in the room. “I stopped being anyone’s hija the day I had to start being a mother to a kid that wasn’t even mine.”

I glared at my father, who stood silent. My eyebrows knitted together as I continued to shout at him.

“And now... I finally get the chance to raise my own, but I’m too scared to be left alone with him in case I end up exactly like you. A deadbeat.”

My father looked taken aback by my outburst but remained silent, nodding his head only slightly, showing he acknowledged the truth in what I was saying, or rather screaming, at him. I breathed heavily, tears brimming in my eyes as I felt my throat begin to close up.

“Everything bad that’s happened to me is because of you,” I cried, my voice beginning to crack. Before I could continue speaking, I inhaled sharply, my breath beginning to stutter. “I can’t even look at my son without thinking of all the ways I could end up failing him as you did to me.”

His eyebrows rose before furrowing in sympathy. Before I could even think of stopping him, he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. I couldn’t help but sob quietly. I had craved a hug from my dad for most of my childhood. 

I wish he hadn’t waited so long to give me one.

***

Fortunately, not long after Ray left, Abuelita arrived home. After explaining to her what had happened, she happily agreed to stay with Manuel so I could go and break the news to my brothers. So I got my things together in haste and drove as quickly as I could to Oscar’s house.

After knocking on the front door and being let in by Oscar himself, I sat at the table and waited. My brother had our traditional mugs of coffee at hand and sat opposite me. He immediately noticed my puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

“What happened?” He asked softly, watching me intently as I fought back the tears while trying to piece together an explanation. He leaned forward and clutched the handle of his mug. “You and Mario fight again?”

I shook my head quickly. Staring down at my mug, I sighed deeply. The longer I waited to tell him, the harder it would eventually be. There was no point in beating around the bush.

“Ray left,” I stated. Oscar inhaled sharply, clicking his jaw as he turned his head away from me. I couldn’t bear to look up at him, so I sat in silence. Whatever he wanted to get off his chest, I would let him.

“Cesar’s gonna be crushed,” he sighed. He and I both knew that more than anyone. Even though he knew that our parents basically left us with no choice but to sacrifice our youth and dreams to support Cesar, he still yearned to have a relationship with them. If only he knew how painful it was.

“Hey,” I whispered, causing Oscar to finally look me in the eye. 

I could see his eyes glistening. Though his first concern was how Cesar would be affected, I could tell that he was just as impacted. We both let our guards down when Ray accepted the job at Dwayne’s business. We both secretly hoped he would stay this time.

“I’ll tell him,” I insisted. Oscar sat up, ready to disagree, but I spoke before he could say anything. “- he made you break the news to us the last time he left. I’m not gonna let you go through that again.”

My voice began to crack. Oscar furrowed his eyebrows in concern, but I had already made my mind up. 

“He’s gonna take it out on you,” Oscar said, in an attempt to get me to leave the burden with him, but I refused. I shook my head.

“Let him,” I replied shortly. 

Cesar was a wild card when it came to things like this. When Oscar delivered the bad news, Cesar would respond by either breaking down or shoving our brother. Sometimes he would even punch the nearest wall. When it was me, however, Cesar typically responded by saying awful things. Things he didn’t mean. Often he would accompany such words with a shove or two.

I knew that this was a big one, though. 

So I tried to prepare myself for anything. Maybe Cesar was gonna say something awful to me in retaliation. Maybe he was just gonna break down in tears. Maybe he was gonna react in an unprecedented way. Regardless, I was willing to take whatever. For Oscar and I, this was yet another time one of our parents let us down. For Cesar, this was the first time he got to develop a relationship with either one of them, and so the first time, he was gonna be disappointed so severely.

About an hour later, after Oscar and I finished our coffee and sat silently on the couch, Cesar came home from school. Noticing how quiet we were, he immediately figured out that something wasn’t right.

“What’s going on?” Cesar asked hesitantly, noting how Oscar and I were staring at him as he walked in with such intent and concern. He glanced down the hall before looking back at the two of us. “Where’s Ray?”

I had done so much crying; I was convinced that I had no more tears left. Yet, when Cesar spoke, I felt my eyes being glazed over again. I looked over at Oscar, who offered a nod of encouragement. 

“Cesar, c’mere... Ray left,” I explained painfully, not having enough courage to look at my little brother as I spoke.

“What?” Cesar was already beginning to shout, and I didn’t blame him. I inhaled sharply while looking up at the ceiling, trying to pull myself together so I could be there for him in whatever way he needed me to be. “He wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”

“He did.”

Cesar sighed, his eyebrows knitting as he processed the bad news. His eyes quickly darkened, and he immediately turned to Oscar. 

“What did you do?”

“He didn’t do anything,” I said before Oscar could chime in. I held my hand out and gently pushed Cesar back after he stepped towards our brother. “I was the last one he talked to, okay? I only just told Oscar before you got home.”

“Well, what did you say, then?”

“Cesar,” I sighed. I had little to no energy left, let alone enough to argue with my little brother. “He was never sticking around... He showed up with his duffel bag already packed.”

“What, you didn’t try to talk him out of it? You just let him go?”

“I’m not responsible for what he decides, Cesar.” My frustration grew exceedingly as I spoke. “He’s a grown man. I shouldn’t have to talk him out of abandoning his children... again.”

Cesar turned away, confirming to me that he knew I was right. I sighed, thinking the worst of our argument was over, but that’s when Cesar spoke again.

“I bet this makes you happy,” he muttered. “You and Oscar couldn’t wait to get rid of him.”

“Happy?... You think I’m happy?” I repeated, furrowing my brows as I stared down at my little brother. Of all the stupid things he’d said to me in his lifetime, this was an all-time low. “Are you fucking kidding me? Cesar, I’m your sister... but for most of your life, I’ve been your mom... If you’re gonna yell at someone, get on the next bus to Bakersfield and go yell at him. He’s the one who left. He’s the one who ruined our lives.”

“Ray didn’t ruin my life,” Cesar muttered quietly, shaking his head and laughing dryly, before looking up at me with a scowl. “You did.”

Oscar stood up and placed himself in between Cesar and me. He held his arms up in an attempt to get Cesar to back down but to no avail.

“Cesar, that’s enough,” he warned, facing our little brother, who shoved back every time Oscar tried to push him away. Cesar was adamant about getting the last word, but Oscar continued to try and keep him back. “Ces- Cesar, that’s enough.”

“No, you know what?”

Cesar fought free from Oscar’s grip and immediately finished what he started.

“Everything bad that’s happened to me is because of you,” Cesar spat, glaring at me with such passionate anger, I almost didn’t recognise my little brother. “Manuel’s gonna need all the luck he can get with a mother like you.”

My mouth slowly fell agape, and my breath hitched. I could hear Cesar breathe heavily from all the yelling. He glared at me, almost as if he knew how much he was hurting me, but he didn’t seem to care. He stormed out of the house before Oscar could begin scolding him for taking it too far. So instead, he watched my reaction intently, ready to console me if I needed to break down after what Cesar had just said. 

“Y/n, he didn’t mean that,” Oscar reasoned, taking note of the way my eyes glistened and how hard I was biting my bottom lip, something I only ever did to keep myself from crying. 

I nodded, even though I was finding it increasingly difficult to believe. Everything I had suspected of myself. All of the fears I had about being an actual mother for the first time. Cesar’s words were making me confirm it. 

I grabbed my bag off the floor and began heading for the door, despite Oscar’s attempts at calling out to me. I had to leave. I couldn’t face either one of my brothers. And, at that point, I couldn’t even face my son. I began driving around the block before finding an empty parking lot to stop at. There, I sat in silence for a few hours, trying to process everything that had happened since the morning.

***

I had been sitting in the parking lot for a few tens of minutes. Most of that time, I spent sobbing. It felt like all of the responsibilities I had spent the past few weeks and months, and years of my life carrying toppled over and crushed me in the process.

The part that hurt the most was how much I tried to do my best. I tried to be the best mother to Manuel. I tried to be the best sister to Cesar. I tried to be the best partner to Mario. Yet, it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, I still wasn’t enough.

In the midst of my emotional breakdown, a loud tap sounded throughout my car. I looked and gasped when I saw Mario standing outside my door with a worried expression. In all honesty, it never crossed my mind that someone would care enough to come and find me.

After I unlocked the doors, he sat in the passenger’s seat. He watched me intently as I wiped my tears away and tried to compose myself.

“Oscar and Abuelita told me what happened,” he whispered before slowly reaching out his hand and taking hold of mine. We had somewhat reconciled the last time we fought, but there was still tension between us. I was grateful he was taking the first step towards fixing it- goodness knows I was not in a position to be able to. “... Please talk to me.”

At first, I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him. I felt an array of shame and embarrassment. Mario noticed this and responded by gently placing his hands on the sides of my face. He knew I loved it when he did that. I eventually looked up at him, and he just smiled as he waited patiently for me to speak.

“I-I,” I bowed my head for a moment to try and muster the energy to finish my sentence. Mario placed his hand on mine and gently squeezed it reassuringly. “I thought he was gonna stay this time... He kept asking to meet Manuel, and he got a job, and I... I thought it would be different this time.”

Mario nodded but remained silent. Before we began dating, we were childhood friends. He was there all the times my dad left before. He knew how much this was hurting me.

“And I’m so scared,” I cried, trying not to choke on my words. “I’m so scared I’m gonna fuck up my kids’ lives the way he has mine and my brothers’... I don’t wanna break Manuel.”

“Hey,” Mario whispered, taking hold of the side of my face and looking up at me with concern-filled eyes. “You’re not gonna break, Manuel... He and I are so lucky to have you.”

I sniffled as I turned away. I didn’t believe him, and Mario could tell. He sighed. I thought then that he would give up on trying to console me and leave, but instead, he continued to look at me, even as I turned away.

“Is that why you call me all the time?” He asked. I didn’t turn back to him, but I could tell from his tone that he was not agitated anymore. He was genuinely concerned. “- ‘cause you feel scared when you’re alone with Manuel?”

I dropped my head and remained silent, which Mario accurately interpreted as a yes. After a moment of silence, he reached for my hand again. This time, I turned to face him.

“I’m so sorry... for everything I said to you,” he whispered, tears brimming in his eyes. It had been a while since I had seen him so vulnerable, which was strange considering how emotional Mario was. “Ever since I started my job, I’ve just been really stressed... I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. That will never happen again.”

“I shouldn’t have annoyed you so much,” I muttered. I couldn’t help but feel guilty that Mario was apologising to me when he was obviously under a lot of pressure. “You work so hard for us, I shouldn’t be making things worse-”

“Baby, you don’t,” he responded. I began to smile through my tears because he was using a term of endearment for the first time in a while rather than just simply calling me by my name. “You don’t... I’m sorry I made you feel like you do... How about, from now on, you text me when you have a question about Manuel, or when you start to feel overwhelmed, or even when you just want to talk. I can’t promise I’ll always be able to talk, but I’ll respond to you as soon as I can.”

“Okay,” I whispered, smiling at him as I nodded. I felt so relieved that he understood what I was going through. Mario leaned close to me and kissed my temple softly before looking me in the eye, his hands finding their way back to the sides of my face. He could tell something was still on my mind.

“You’re nothing like him, Y/n,” he murmured. “He leaves when things get tough... you’ve always stayed... I mean, you’ve taken care of Cesar since he was born... Now you’re taking care of Manuel... and of me.”

I chuckled beneath my breath. When Manuel was first born, Mario joked about how well I took care of them two. I would have had it any other way.

“There’s no one else I’d rather being doing this with,” he said before kissing me softly. I smiled against his lips, and my eyes remained close for a moment even after he pulled away. “Manuel and I are so lucky to have you, Y/n... I love you so much.”

“I’m lucky to have you,” I murmured as I brought my hand up to his jaw, drawing circles on the side of his cheek with my thumb. He smiled, leaning forward and pressing his nose against mine. “I love you.”

It was as if he came at the right time. Just when things began to topple over me, Mario was right there, ready to bear my burdens with me. For the first time in a long time, I felt a wave of peace and calmness wash over me. I knew I had a lot of work to do. I knew Cesar, and I were still on bad terms. But I also knew that so long as I had Mario with me, I would be okay. I would survive whatever other obstacles life threw my way, and it would all be worth it for my son.

He and Mario were more than enough for me.

[mel-the-fangirl]

Always You

Armie Hammer x Reader

Words: 3,372

This is just a self indulgent thing I wrote to get myself back into the swing of writing stuff. This is actually the first thing I’ve finished in a long ass time so it probably sucks but it’s something! 

DISCLAIMER: I am not claiming to know anything about what went on in Armie’s marriage, this is all fiction. I have nothing against his wife, once again, this is just fiction.

Please like, reblog or leave me a message! Thank you!

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The California sun beat down on you uncomfortably, matting your hair to the nape of your neck, but you endured it just so you could take in the house before you. The glare of the stark white wall made it hard to look at but you couldn’t help but admire the way the entrance arched around the front door.

Through the small wrought iron window on the door, you could see the courtyard, lush bushes and bougainvilleas of every vibrant colour dotting the perimeter.

You hummed thoughtfully. 

"Not up to your standards?" 

"Surprisingly enough," you spun on your heel and looked up at him. "These are exactly my standards." 

Your eyes traced his impressive height until you were gazing at the floor. 

"Right down to the hand painted tiles." you muttered, eyebrows raised

Armie laughed, throwing his head back, "Wait till you see the inside." 

The inside was even better. Natural, earthy tones were perfectly contrasted by the vivid colour of the Spanish tiles, everywhere you looked there would be a cluster of them in just the right spot.

He talked animatedly, his long arms swinging and gesturing all over the place. His blue eyes were bright and you moved from room to room trying to keep up with his huge strides. 

"This is your room." he stated, throwing open the arched wooden door with a flourish

You knew what to expect, of course. Ever since he came to you asking for ideas on how to design his new home, your shared Pinterest board was focused exclusively on Spanish Revival but seeing it in the flesh was a whole other experience. 

"Armie…" you trailed off, gripping his arm tightly

It was a dream come to life. A dream of a spacious, immaculately clean room with white walls and warmly coloured rugs, a giant bed with your recommended bedspread and number of pillows all in order (you couldn't believe he actually paid attention to the Pinterest board).

"Do you like it?" he asked you, placing his large hand on yours

"Like it? I fucking love it, Armie! Oh my god!"

You raced to see the bathroom and nearly died and went to heaven, if you weren't already there. 

A classic, tiled bathtub was tucked into an alcove that took up most of the far side of the wall. The drawers and the sink were all set in rich, dark wood and it all smelled vaguely like jasmine. 

"Oh, yeah," you nodded approvingly, already picturing yourself in the tub, overcome by bubbles. "Hell yeah." 

Armie looked at you with a goofy grin on his face, he reached out to squeeze your shoulder, "I'll grab your bags, why don't you hop in there? I'm making dinner, you just relax." 

"You said the magic words." you grinned back at him

He leaned down to kiss your cheek, his soft lips and the subtle smell of his aftershave caused your heart to skip a few beats. 

A feeling of dread began to cloud over the bliss that came before. You clasped your hands together tightly as he walked past you, he stopped at the door, the top of his head almost grazing the frame. 

"Y/N?" 

"Yeah?"

"I am so glad you're here." Armie winked at you and shut the door behind him, leaving you sucked in a whirlwind of your own increasingly frantic thoughts

You stared at the closed door, his kiss on your cheek still tingling. 

"Bath." you declared to no one in particular, hoping that once you were done, all your worries and anxieties would go down the drain with the suds. 

----------------------------------------------

You woke up with a start, the water in the tub sloshing around as you roused yourself from sleep, that bath must have really done the trick. Night had already fallen, it was pitch dark and only the scented candles you lit illuminated your surroundings.

Outside, the palm trees swung from side to side, back and forth in an erratic dance, big fat drops of rain fell noisily onto the ground, painting it in a silvery sheen. A full blown storm was raging beyond the French casement windows. How long were you out?

You ran your hand along the wall to turn on the lights but when you flipped the switch, nothing happened.

A blackout. Of course.

You dressed quickly in the dark, hoping nothing was inside out.

"Armie?" you called out, shutting the door behind you

As you walked through the house in the quiet darkness, with only the sound of your slippers on the tile and the pouring rain as your companions, you couldn’t help but feel a little scared. 

The longer you thought about it though, the more you were convinced that it wasn’t the fact that you were walking alone in the dark that was scaring you, it was the thought of being completely alone with Armie in his beautiful new home. 

You paused just a few steps shy of the kitchen. Frank Sinatra’s smooth baritone trickled out of the massive arched doorway.

“The stars are aglow and tonight how their light sets me dreaming.

My love, do you know that your eyes are like stars brightly beaming?

I bring you and sing you a moonlight serenade.” you heard Armie sing along

His voice was like velvet, rich and deep and soothing. Try as you might, you still found yourself drifting towards him. Don’t get it wrong, your heart was beating three miles a minute but you felt like you were on autopilot. Next thing you knew, you were standing in the doorway.

He moved with ease, swiftly reaching over to the spice rack and back to the pot before him. Entranced, you watched as he dipped a finger into his creation and promptly placed it in his mouth, he nodded approvingly and finally lifted his gaze to you.

Your breath hitched in your throat. You felt like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. 

Neither of you spoke. 

"So don't let me wait, come to me tenderly…" Sinatra continued to sing, seemingly giving you instructions.

Armie closed the distance between you until you were almost chest to chest. 

"Dance with me?"

"The power's out." you deadpanned, losing your train of thought as he wrapped your arms around you

"I know, that's why I lit candles. So, will you dance with me?" 

Wordlessly, you wrapped your arms around his torso. He swayed slowly, squeezing you gently.

You rested your head on his warm chest, smiling as he hummed along. This felt good, too good. Your heart tightened in your chest, desperate to hold on to this memory of you and him.

"Oh, shit. The soup." he cursed, pulling away just as steam began to rise from the pot on the stove

The illusion shattered like a porcelain statuette meeting a marble floor. You were brought back to reality and you felt very cold all of a sudden. 

"Y/N, take a seat. I'll bring it all over." he began ladling soup into a smooth wooden bowl

The dining table was long and rectangular, made from dark wood to match the rest of the items in the house. An elaborate candelabra stood in the middle, projecting all kinds of shapes across the room. 

"Now," he set a steaming bowl of fragrant soup in front of you. "Eat up. You're freezing."

"Thank you, this smells amazing."

You expected him to take the seat across from you or at the head of the table but instead, he sat next to you, his leg almost brushing against yours. 

"Hope it tastes as good as it smells." Armie remarked, watching you like a hawk as you took your first sip

"Mmm," you smacked your lips and smiled at his nervous expression. "It's good! Six stars, no joke. Don't look so nervous, Armie, it's just me."

He dragged his teeth along his lower lip and stirred his spoon in his bowl. You would never be "just you" to him, you never were. Something in his heart always made him want to impress you, be around you. It was one of the first things he and his ex-wife argued about.

But you didn't need to know that.

Clearly, this stormy night was going to be spent by candlelight. Romantic, sure, but dangerous. Both of your secrets and words left unsaid hovered over you like shadows, waiting to be revealed. 

Eventually, you settled back into your usual routine with Armie. Catching up, playfully critiquing his movies that you've seen, much to his embarrassment. Then finally, an opening to ask the question you've been dying to ask. 

You set your wine glass on the table, tracing the lip of your glass with your fingertip. "So, are we going to skirt around it all night, Armie? Or are you going to tell me what happened?"

He sucked in a deep breath, wiping both his hands on his lap. He’d been expecting that, of course. You two haven’t seen each other in a year but you never lost touch. When the news of his divorce broke out, you expected to be the first person he would call, but he never did.

“Well, Y/N, uh,” his long fingers scratched at the back of his neck, "I got divorced because I had an affair. Nothing physical happened but, well, you know.”

A year ago, Armie’s marriage had been slowly but surely falling apart, it was falling apart way before the word “divorce” ever crossed their minds but they both held on, for the children. Until, they couldn’t. When all sorts of headlines and far-fetched gossip made the rounds, he took it all, nevermind that his ex-wife had her own issues, all people wanted was to take a shot at him and he let them. He didn’t really care what anyone else had to say.

The trouble was, everything was different for him when you were involved. He hung his head low, keeping his eyes on his lap. 

“Chin up, Armand.” you reached over to brush your knuckles against his chin, “I didn’t come here to judge you.”

“What are you here for then?”

"I’m here for you."

"You've always been there for me." 

A moment passed. Two, three. Mere seconds but it felt much longer. When your eyes met it felt like you were finally seeing each other for the very first time. 

Armie’s palms had become slick with sweat and he felt a lump forming in his throat. He gulped down a glass of water to fend off whatever was going on with him.

"So, uh. How's that guy you've been seeing?" he casually draped his arm over the back of his chair even though he wasn't feeling casual at all.

"Well," you exhaled, smiling ruefully at him. "That's been over for months now." 

He was absolutely floored. His eyes widened to a size that could rival the bowl in front of you and his jaw almost hit the floor. You chuckled into your shoulder.

"Damn, Y/N. That's the second one this month." he clicked his tongue

"Armand, I don't think you're in the position to judge. " you looked at him meaningfully, cocking your head to the side

"Heh. Touché."

You ate in silence while trying to ignore the way your heart was trying to break out of your chest. Talking about your love life was dangerous territory. 

"Can I just ask you something though?" Armie put his spoon down and turned to you

"Look, I know I'm not exactly Dr. Love right now but, what's going on, Y/N? You know I’m always here if you need to talk."

He was so genuinely concerned, you could see it in the way he looked at you. It’s a shame he was the reason behind all your failed relationships. This really wasn't how you pictured telling Armie you had been in love with him since you were teenagers. In fact, you didn’t think you were going to tell him at all.

Before you could even stop yourself, the words came tumbling from your mouth. 

"I've actually been in love with one man my entire life." 

"Whoa! Whoever he is, he’s a lucky guy. To have the Great Y/N Y/L/N hung up on him." the corners of his lips were quirked up in a soft smile but you noticed that it didn't reach his eyes

"Oh, he was lucky for a while," you gripped the side of your chair until your knuckles turned white

"Everyone adored him, saw how talented he was. His life was picture perfect."

Why you were saying all this to Armie, he had no idea. It stung a little, knowing that you were hung up on someone else but he was definitely used to you overlooking him by now. 

"But he.. He's going through a bit of a rough patch now. He's.. He got a divorce," 

He squared his shoulders and weaved his arms tight against his chest, his eyebrows knitted together. 

Finally telling him the truth terrified you but you'd gone this far, there was no turning back. 

"Uh, yeah. He got a divorce and he hasn't seen his kids in months. It was so hard on him and he didn’t even talk to me about it but… I love him."

Saying it out loud was oddly therapeutic.

"I love him," you said louder, feeling the adrenaline course through your body. "I've loved him ever since I first met him. I loved him when we became best friends,"

"I loved him even when I had to sit and watch him marry someone else. I loved him when he told me he was going to be a dad and he cried on my shoulder because he said he was so afraid he'd mess it up,"

Armie uncrossed his arms so abruptly, the face of his watch clacked against the table. His eyes were wide, filled with questions. 

You nodded, answering the most obvious one. Tears began to sting in your eyes and sobs spasmed in your throat uncomfortably. But still you went on. 

"I loved him even when… Even when I watched him build this beautiful life with his beautiful wife and children. Even when all I could do was stand by and try to be okay with knowing that I was never going to get to be with him the way I wanted. "

Your shoulders shuddered with each shaky breath you forced through your lungs. You didn’t dare look at him, you kept a hand over your eyes as you cried.

And like hell did you cry. You cried for all the lost time, the missed opportunities, the longing looks, the what if's.

"I… Jesus. All this fucking time, Y/N." he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose and screwing his eyes shut

Like he couldn't even stomach the sight of you. 

"I should've kept my mouth shut." you shook your head and got up

What were you thinking?

Did you honestly think it was a good idea? What did you expect would happen? That he would take your face in his hands, thumbs skimming lovingly across your cheeks? Did you honestly expect that he would finally press his lips into yours and everything would fall into place?

Just as you were about to leave the kitchen to dramatically pack up your things and see if someone was insane enough to give you a ride home in this storm, Armie reached up to grab hold of your arm.

“Don’t… Just,” he huffed, shoulders deflating, “Just don’t walk out, let’s-let’s fucking talk about this, Y/N.”

“We don’t have to talk about anything, Armie. Let me go and we can just forget I ever said anything.”

“I don’t want to forget, Y/N!” Armie suddenly exploded, rising from his seat

All six feet and five inches of him loomed over you. You had to crane your neck just so you could look him in the eye.

“Okay. Alright, let’s get this over with then.” you dragged the wooden chair back, its legs squealing noisily against the floor

You planted your hands firmly on the top of the chair, using it as a shield between you and him.

Armie regarded you with caution, “You’re not going to throw that at me, are you?”

“Can we get on with this?” you snapped

"Alright then," he ran a harsh hand over his face, "Why." 

"Why what." 

 "Why now!" he yelled, raking his hands roughly through his hair, “Why not back then when things were less fucking complicated!”

"It was too late, okay?! You were already with Elizabeth when I figured it out and I didn't wanna ruin things for you. There was never a good time.”

He stepped toward you, placing his hands on the chair next to your own, “We spent half of our goddamn lives together, Y/N! You never found a good time then?”

You looked at him. You've looked at him for half your life basically. His classically handsome face, the crinkles by his sky blue eyes that were present even when he wasn't smiling, the lines that were carefully etched into his tanned skin deepened as his brows remained pushed together.

"I didn't want to lose you! Okay?! You're fucking right, we spent half our lives together and there was no way I was going to risk going through the other half without you!"

"We could have spent the rest of our fucking lives together, Y/N. Right from the fucking start, that's what I'm trying to tell you. Right from the start, it could've been just you and me." he retorted, his voice threatened to crack

The magnitude of his words began hitting you, wave after wave. 

"We were both goddamn cowards. Now look at us," he threw a hand in your direction then at his chest, "Serial Dater and Divorced Cheater."

Silence stretched miles between you, neither of you had any more words to squeeze out of yourselves, you felt raw, exposed.

Your hand went numb from gripping the chair too tightly, you wandered over to the kitchen sink to hold it over running water but you ended up sitting on the floor with your head heavy in your hands.

To say that this wasn’t what you bargained for when you accepted Armie’s invitation to see his new house would be the understatement of your entire life. You turned his words over in your head about a dozen times.

Didn’t you get what you wanted? There it was, all laid out for you, what were you waiting for? 

Armie sighed, settling down on the floor next to you. He took your hand, the one that was just beginning to wake up, and massaged it in his.

“Can you look at me?”

You did as he asked, lifting your eyes to his. He was smiling, it was hard not to smile back.

“Hi.” he planted a kiss on the back of your hand

“Hi.” you replied, looping your arm through his and resting your head on his shoulder

The storm continued to sweep through and the wind shrieked outside but for the first time that night, you felt completely calm despite the big question staring both of you in the face.

“So now what?” you asked

“Now, I think I should reheat dinner.” he got up and extended his hand to you

Was he fucking with you? That really wasn’t the answer you were expecting but you tried not to let your disappointment show. Once your hand was in Armie’s, he pulled you to him, one hand cupped your cheek while the other landed on the small of your back.

“May I?”

His lips were just a hair’s breadth away from yours. You looked up at him, nodding almost imperceptibly but he didn’t miss a beat. He  kissed your cheek first, then your forehead, making your eyes flutter shut. You were so close together, you wondered if he could feel your heart pounding against his chest.

“Are you going to keep me waiting?” you whispered, hands already snaking around the back of his neck

Armie bent down slightly, nuzzling his nose against yours as he shook his head, “I think we’ve both been waiting long enough.”

[demxters]

In Love and War

theo raeken x reader 

request: @bricksatanakinswindow​​ hi bby can you do 15 from the angst prompt with either theo raeken or liam dunbar 💕

15.  “I told you not to fall in love with me.”

word count: 2.1k 

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood 

teen wolf masterlist   

a/n: ty for the request bricks! i forgot how much i loved theo raeken in season 6 shoot. anyways, first time writing for theo so lemme know what y’all think! 

*** 

They say all is fair in love and war. The first time you laid your eyes upon the mysterious new guy across the hall, you felt your heart skip a beat and your palms begin to sweat. You’re not sure what it was that drew you to him that day. Whether it was his closed off demeanor or the arrogant smirk that seemed to be etched onto his features. There was something about him that drew you to him. He warned you, they all did, and yet you didn’t listen. Your heart was too naive. 

“Theo Raeken,” he said with a smile, holding out his hand for you to shake. 

You skeptically look at the boy, taking his hand in yours, clearing your throat when you realize you’ve been holding his hand for a minute too long. “You new to Beacon Hills, Theo?” 

“Not necessarily. I used to live here as a kid,” he replied, staring off into the distance as if he were reliving some kind of memory. “How about you? Surely I’d remember someone as gorgeous as you living here in Beacon Hills all your life.” 

“I actually moved here in my freshmen year.” You feel your cheeks heat up at his words and you nervously fiddle with your fingers. The bell rings pulling you out of the trance the boy had put you in. “I gotta get to class but maybe I’ll see you around?” you question him as you definitely did not cross your fingers behind your back in hopes to see him again. 

“Oh most definitely,” he answers you. And with one last smile, he turns leaving you standing in the middle of the hallway like a grinning idiot. What the hell just happened? 

He cared for you more than he wanted to admit. You weren’t part of his plan originally. He barely had any clue who you were until that day in the hallway when you accidentally bumped into him. He hadn’t thought of you much since then until he saw you talking to Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski after school. That’s when he knew he got lucky because now he had the perfect person to help him slither his way into the pack. 

“You know Stiles is just being a little asshole again, right?” you whispered to him as the two of you laid down in the back of his truck, staring up at the night sky. “You’re not a bad person. You saved Lydia’s life for god's sake.” 

Theo couldn’t shake the feelings that you gave him, and it scared him. For the first time in years, he finally had someone who didn’t see him as a mistake, as a failure. You saw him as the man he wanted to be, the Theo Raeken he wanted to be. With you, he could be the Theo that just went to high school and worried about winning over the girl he liked. With you, he felt as if all the weight on his shoulders were lifted. With you the world fell away. And that was all that mattered to him. But he couldn’t have you feeling the same way. Not with what was to come. And yet he couldn’t make himself pull away. Everything about you only drew him closer. “Hey Y/N?” 

“Yeah?” 

He swallows harshly, grabbing your hand that laid next to his. “Can you promise me something?” 

“Anything,” you softly answer back. 

“Promise you won’t fall in love with me,” his voice falters at the end, his heart breaking with every word. 

But you just chuckle, not thinking much of it, and reply by taking your hand out from under his and sitting up with a smile. “That won’t be a problem, Raeken. That much is sure.” 

“Promise?”

“Yeah, yeah I promise…” 

You let out a quiet sob into your pillow, careful not to wake the others. His pleas and cries played in your head like a broken record. There was never a night where you weren’t there for him. His night terrors bothered him at night and you were the only one who could calm him down. Something about that fact always brought a small smile to your face. Crawling out of your sleeping bag, you carefully made your way through the sea of sleeping teens surrounding you, and quietly made your way to the kitchen. Grabbing a cup of water, you stand at the counter, staring at the moon from the window above your kitchen sink, thinking about the first time you realized you just might have broken your promise. 

You’ve never seen him like this. Like such a mess. His cocky and confident demeanor was gone leaving him in his most vulnerable state. You weren’t sure if it was his whimpers or his sobs that woke you up first but the minute you heard the boy beside you make a noise, you found yourself wide awake and sitting up beside him. His body was shaking and he was whispering incoherent words under his breath. But something about the way his face was scrunched up made you realize he wasn’t just having a bad dream. “Theo,” you whisper, slightly shaking his shoulder.  

You get no response. “Theo wake up,” you try again, louder this time and putting some more force into your shake. The boy is still shaking and sobbing in your bed, each sob getting louder and louder than the first. You don’t know what else to do so you wrap your arms around his waist, grabbing his hands that rested on his stomach, and squeeze him tight. You rest your forehead against his back, gently shushing him and rubbing circles onto his palms. 

He awakens with a gasp, almost getting up in a panic, when your familiar scent fills his nostrils and the feeling of your hands pull him back to reality. He hears your shushes subside, guessing that you’ve realized he’s finally awake. “Y/N,” he whispers, into the dark hoping to hear your soft voice instead of the metal whirring that won’t stop ringing in his ears. 

“I’m here, I’ve got you.” 

And that’s all it took for Theo Raeken to fall apart. Turning around in your arms, he cupped your face in his hands and leaned his forehead against yours, basking in your presence. Neither of you say anything as he leans forward and delicately places his lips on yours. Kissing Theo was almost like a dream. Never would you have thought kissing him would feel like this. So soft, passionate, and most of all loving. That was the night you almost let those three words slip past your lips but by the way he kissed you, you knew he felt the same as he took the words right from your mouth before spitting it back out in every movement of his lips against yours. 

They say love is a battlefield. Theo had the hardest time admitting to himself that he had fallen in love with you in the short time that the two of you spent together. You were supposed to just be a pawn in his little game he was playing with the McCall pack, but you became so much more so fast. He could’ve easily thrown you away when he was done with you. Yet, even after he claimed his spot in the pack as an ally, he found himself fighting for you harder than anything he’s ever fought for anything before. 

“You stay away, do you hear me?” Stiles exclaims, slamming Theo into the locker behind him. 

Theo puts his hands up, shaking his head with a breathy laugh. “What, you think this little threat is going to keep me away? Do you think Y/N is going let you keep me away?” 

“Shut up,” Stiles says under his breath, his grip tightening on Theo’s collar. “You leave Y/N alone, do you understand me? You drag her into this and I will fight you myself.” 

“Then bring it on, Stiles. Listen, you may not trust me, but trust me when I say this. I love Y/N. I would never do anything that would put her in danger. I would protect her with my life, and I know you would do the same.”

Stiles loosens his grip on Theo in shock at his confession. Letting Theo go, he shakes his head and says, “You better mean that because if you hurt her I swear I will break your face.” And with that, Stiles storms out of the locker room leaving Theo to deal with the fact that he just confessed his love for you to Stiles of all people. But he knew deep down that his words were true. He’d endure all the pain in the world if that meant keeping you safe. 

So maybe you should have listened. You should have packed your things and ran away the moment Theo Raeken approached you in the school hallway. But something in your heart begged you to stay. Now you weren’t sure if that was the best or worst mistake you’ve ever made. Maybe if you just kept your heart locked away you wouldn’t be hurting as bad as you were now. Maybe you wouldn’t be wasting your tears on a boy named Theo Raeken. But no matter how badly you wanted to hate him, your heart felt the exact opposite. You loved him. You loved him with your entire being, even if he never loved you back. 

“What the fuck?” you shout at the sight of Scott’s body, bloodied and crippled on the floor. You wanted to vomit and cry. You wanted to scream and shout. But nothing came out of your mouth. You saw the figure in front of you turn around, revealing themselves to be none other than Theo Raeken himself. 

“Y/N…” he says softly, carefully making his way over to you. 

You look down at his claws that were dripping crimson red. “I-is that Scott’s blood?” 

“Y/N,” he states firmer this time, still making his way over to you. 

You flinch when he calls your name again and you back away from him. “No! Theo, what did you do?” 

“What had to be done,” he replies, not missing the way your eyes shined with tears. 

“No, no this can’t be right. You’re on our side! You saved Lydia, you saved me! You can’t be, you can’t…” 

Theo stands his ground, still keeping his distance between the two of you despite wanting nothing more than to take you in his arms. “If you just let me explain-”

“Explain what? How you lied to us? How you lied to me? How could you do this?” 

He stays silent, his eyes still boring into yours as he waits for you to realize it yourself. You’ve always been a clever girl, he didn’t doubt that you couldn’t put two and two together. 

“Oh my god,” you whisper after a moment, finally understanding what was going on. “How long? Huh? How long were you going to just string me along like some-some idiot?” Your heart aches as you look at him. “God, I fought my friends for you. I defended you! And all I was to you was some pawn in your little chess game.” 

“That’s not true,” he defends himself. 

You scoff, tears continuing to cloud your vision. “Is it not? You liar!” You move closer to him this time, shoving at his chest. He lets you hit him as he slightly stumbles back. “Did I even mean anything to you?” You step forward, shoving him again. “God, Theo I loved you!” 

This seems to pull a reaction out of him. Lowering his gaze to the floor, he suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. “I told you not to fall in love with me.” 

“You think that was going to stop me? Theo, you made me feel things that no other guy has ever made me feel before. You made me feel safe, warm, and loved. But obviously this has always been a one sided thing.” 

“Y/N-” I love you, he wanted to say, but the words never left his mouth. “You’re a fool for thinking I could ever love you.” Liar. “Like you said, you were just a pawn in my little game.” I’m sorry. He takes a step towards you and this time you don’t move. The two of you are almost chest to chest as he towers over you, looking down. “And you were naive enough to fall for my little act.” I still care about you. 

That was the night Theo Raeken broke your heart. That was the night you swore to never love again. 

Theo Raeken was a liar. A cheater. He used you and your heart. But as you layed back down in your bed, you couldn’t help but think maybe you should have seen it coming. Maybe heartbreak was inevitable. After all, all is fair in love and war. 

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