#i'll just find one myself

[shapeshiftinterest]

Best Seat In The House: bowser x luigi

luigi is chosen as the ambassador for the mushroom kingdom, bowser’s council try to kick him out on the technicality that you must be seated to participate in negotiations

luckily, the best seat in the house is right at the front of the table

or: luigi is tired and 2 can play at being petty

big thanks to AllageAntelope from twitter for helping translate and collab on the italian dialogue

story under the read more

Best Seat In The House (also on ao3)

Luigi was tired. He was tired and hungry and just wanted to do his ambassador job negotiations with Koopa Kingdom already. This was the third time traveling back and forth between kingdoms and Bowser’s council kept locking him out on the grounds of ‘You must be seated to participate in negotiations, Ambassador Greenie‘.

Ugh!! It wasn’t his fault there were never any seats provided! Every time the green plumber arrived, announced and everything, all the seats had been filled up by council members. No one would bring him a chair either!

He sighed, clutching the strap of his messenger bag and looking at the, once again, full table. An assortment of older goombas, koopa troopas, and what have you were talking to each other amicably but he could tell they were laughing at him in the middle of it all.

“Ambassador Green ‘Stache!” A bespeckled Boo greeted him, smirk on her translucent face. “So good of you to join us! Come, come, take a seat.”

“Vecchio troglodita rimbambito,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that, dear?”

“Nothing, Signora Beatrix,“ he smiled.

“Hmmm,” she said, floating back to her seat.

Luigi let out a sigh. Now, where to sit, where to sit. Looking around, it seemed like no one would help him again this time either. He spotted Bowser at the head of the table, talking to a decorated veteran Goomba.

The two made eye contact and the plumber almost felt hopeful- until the king sneered at him and turned back to the Goomba. Ok, that’s it. If they wanted to be petty, he could too.

Strengthening his resolve, Luigi thanked the Boo and started marching towards the other end of the room.

“Excuse me, Signore,” he addressed the Goomba, the two pausing their conversation. “But I’d like to get to my seat, per favore.”

Bowser snorted, the force almost knocking Luigi’s hat off. “The hell’re you on about, Greenie?” He growled, shooing away the Goomba.

Luigi looked at him. “I’m-a just taking my seat, like everyone keeps-a telling me to do,” he deadpanned, before performing a jump and landing on the throne’s arm rest. The room quickly devolved into chaos, council members hooting and hollering for the plumber to get down.

“Ambassador Green Mario, this is highly inappropriate, get down from there at once!” a Blooper garbled from the large fishbowl perched on a chair, water splashing onto the rug.

“My name,” Luigi said, “Is-a Luigi, Signora Blombell.”

The Blooper in question sputtered angrily. How dare-

“But I-a suppose you’re right.”

Everyone calmed down as the plumber made to get off of the arm rest-

Only for him to slide onto Bowser’s lap instead.

“The best seat should-a be reserved for foreign guests, no?”

Luigi paid them no mind as he got comfortable, butt on the king’s thigh and back against the arm rest he’d been sitting on previously. He could feel the king jolt in surprise but ignored it in favor of finally being able to take the official papers and note taking supplies out of his bag.

“GWAHAHAHAHA!!”

The room fell silent at the king’s boisterous laugh; who knew Greenie- no, Luigi, could have such a petty side to him? It took balls to disrespect another kingdom’s royalty outside of their usual battles, and Bowser could respect that, to an extent.

A heavy clawed hand whacked the plumber on the back for finally growing a spine, and in such a hilarious way too! Said plumber made a disgruntled sound when his papers, and himself, almost fell.

Gathering his items, Luigi side glared at him and readjusted so he was basically straddling Bowser’s leg while using the king’s knee as a table. Oh. Well.

Bowser’s eyebrows jumped in surprise, the shorter man must’ve really been pissed off if he wasn’t even acknowledging such a scandalous pose. He coughed. He knew his kingdom was hot but was it getting even hotter or was it just him? Ah, whatever.

“Start the meeting,” he said, leaning on the opposite arm rest with his cheek in his hand.

“But, Sir-”

“Doesn’t matter,” Bowser growled, “We’ve wasted enough time. Start. It.”

And with that, negotiations with the Mushroom Kingdom finally started. And if Bowser sneaked a few peaks at Luigi’s ass, well, that was his business.

Bonus:

bowser gets bored during normal meetings and jiggles his leg sometimes

he forgets luigi’s on his lap and starts doing it but luigi grunts at him and uses his thighs to tighten his hold  so he won’t fall off

because luigi’s using bowser’s knee as a writing surface and said knee is lower than a table cuz he’s sitting on it, luigi has to bend over a little to write comfortably

this means that sometimes, when writing notes, he’s got his hands on bowser’s knee trying to keep the papers flat and bowser keeps noticing his butt

thankfully the council members don’t notice cuz they’re all debating with each other

kamek notices bowser noticing tho ( ;=-=)

stupid sexy luigi, distracting him from his meeting LINK to simpsons reference

______________________________________________________________

vecchio troglodita rimbambito = old dumb troglodyte

signora = miss/ ma'am

signore = sir

per favore = please

[kettlefire]

Prepare for the unexpected. (DPxDC)

Everyone knew about the reign of Pariah Dark. Even those who did not dabble in those realms have heard the tale of the tyrant. A power-hungry man who ruled over the dead with an iron fist.

Following the rise of Pariah Dark, his realm had been effectively cut off from communication. Many mystics and magic users knew better than to open the door of nightmares that could arise if Pariah Dark's reach went further than his own realm.

Except, the universe had plans to bring the realm of the dead back into the cards.

A new opponent, one that had all of Earth's heroes scrambling for options. A being with powers of a god over weather, destruction was on the horizon. A world ending threat.

It's the only reason the Justice League was doing this. In a deep bunker, far from close civilization as a precaution, the heroes looked on with grim expressions.

The world was already being threatened. It would be destroyed regardless of what the league did. So it only made sense to make the last ditch effort. To summon someone strong enough to defeat the threat.

No one wanted to do it. No one wanted to be the one to pull the realm of the dead back to the living. The consequences were untold if this succeeded. If Pariah Dark was freed and defeated the threat, whose to say he won't want control?

That was a problem for later. For the aftermath. For now, the league could only watch on with bated breath as Constantine completely the summon ritual.

They watched on as the shadows in the room seemed to darken and grow. As the sigil sputtered to life with a glow that was growing increasingly brighter. A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, the temperature began to drop with eaching ticking second.

And then it was all gone.

The room stood perfectly still. Just as it had been moments before. Nothing changed. No giant king standing before them, no sign that the ritual worked.

The room stood deadly still for another beat before the murmurs started. The team trying to make sense of the situation, figure out what went wrong.

Constantine swore up and down that this was the correct ritual, taking offense that they would even think the problem was on his end. It only made it better when it finally happened.

A loud sound ripped through the room, pulling everyone's attention back to the summoning circle. Just in time to see a tear appear in the space above the circle.

A thin tear that ran the length of eight feet. The fabric of the dimension seems to curl at the edges, pulling back to reveal a deep glowing swirl of greens. A dark gloved hand reached through, fingers curling around the edge of the tear, stretching it even further.

A portal. The ritual had worked, but there had been a delay. A delay that had every hero nerves on edge. Each team member tensed, weapons at the ready as they watched the being stretch the portal to the right size.

Then, a foot stepped out with a heavy thud. A dark boot that looked otherworldly despite its similarity to mortal clothing. A deep black that seemed never-ending. A second foot quickly followed before a full body emerged from the portal.

Not many people in the room have ever seen Pariah Dark, let alone know what to expect. Based on what Constantine and Zatara had said, this wasn't Pariah Dark.

A man had stepped out of the portal, standing at almost seven feet tall, and built like a brick house. One glance at the glowing white hair, deadly red eyes, and shard teeth was enough to know this being was not to be messed with.

But there was no giant show of armor or royal garbs. There is no large crown at the top of his head or jewelry from the infinite realms laced around his neck.

Instead, the man stood before them in combat boots, worn-in ripped jeans, a graphic t-shirt, and a spiked leather jacket. Despite his almost normal clothing choice, the man's jacket seemed to be a never-ending depth of the dark night sky. If one was to look closely enough, the cosmos could almost be made out in the sea of darkness.

None of that would have prepared them for when the man spoke. His tone sounded more bored than anything as he took a step forward.

"Oh, so now you need the help of the dead." The man had spoken, running a hand through his hair. When Batman took a step forward to speak, the man raised a hand. Immediately commanding silence in the single gesture. "I'm on babysitting duty and have yet to have a cup of coffee. I'll be right back."

Just like that, both the man and portal vanished into thin air. Leaving behind a group of stunned heroes. Not only was the man not Pariah Dark, but he was also supposedly babysitting.

"Did that just-"

The Flash had been the first voice to speak up, his eyes trained on where the man had once stood. Except he had barely made it through the first few words before the man was suddenly back.

The man that now had a child hanging off his shoulders and another teen being held up by his scruff. Unlike the man, these kids looked human.

Too human for Bruce's liking. The dark black hair and bright blue eyes had every heroes eyes flickering to Batman for just the briefest moment.

"This isn't fair! I'm not even the king. Why do I have to be here!" The teenager had been complaining the moment the man had reappeared. Arms crossed tight over his chest and seemingly used to being held dangling. "Besides, who brings kids to a show down! Wait til I tell mom about this."

"Aw, come on, Danny. This is gonna be fun!!" The younger girl seemed in much better spirits than the teen, Danny. She had climbed up the large man, sitting on his shoulders and resting her arms on the mess of glowing hair. "It's like take your kids to work day! Ooo, Dan! Can we fight too!?"

Unlike the two kids, the man looked purely exhausted and annoyed. The man, Dan, dropped Danny like a sack of potatoes as he took a long drink from the travel cup in his hand.

It didn't take a genius to recognize the look of an exhausted parent in Dan's expression. A look many of the league members were well acquainted to. A look that even had Batman grimacing with sympathy.

"Can it, little shits. You two were grounded, remember." Dan had growled at the kids before shifting his focus back on the team of heroes before them. His glowing eyes set in a deadly glare. "Pariah Dark isn't coming, and he never will. He's been dethroned and banished. We're the best you've got."

A summoning that started with a group of on edge and scared heroes looking for the ghost king, ended in a way no one expected.

No one was even sure if it made any sense. They weren't sure if they should feel hopeful or in despair.

Because truly, what was a ghostly man with two seemingly human children against a godlike foe with the control over the weather?

The unspoken question of power and ability seemed to vanish following Dan downing the metal travel cup of coffee, and crushing it in his fist.

He tossed it to the side, straighting up his posture as he looked over the heroes. Dan might not be a hero, but he's been playing family for too long.

An almost feral, bloodhungry grin spread across the man's face, sharp fangs on full display. The look made the man suddenly look even less human. He looked closer to a demon from the pits of hell rather than the exhausted parent he looked just a few seconds ago.

"Point me in the direction of this bastard. It's been too long since I let loose and had some fun."

[iizuumi]

Side effects of wearing your sentient Kaiju suit too often ,,,,

[wearecrowley]

You were right, you were right, I was wrong, you were right.

[ryllen]

something i promised on my kofi 6 months ago... 🫠

[pmpwbrrs]

Yeah no I'm not done with them yeaah no

I hate them so much these two fudkers they're NOT gonna be happy . No. Right now they are maybe(not really), but later? No

[sergle]

I think I'm going to make a temperature blanket this year

[tinukis]

im rereading one piece (i'll watch certain arcs too as i get into OP again)

and man i forget how much i loved the baratie arc especially seeing how luffy and sanji first interact... "i refuse your refusal!" is so good and while bickering like an old married couple, they both yell at gin simultaneously i love them so much

[cozylittleartblog]

small PSA: if you shop at craft shows or artist alleys, please bring more than apple pay or a virtual card - especially if you're not comfortable entering your card number manually. not all of us have fancy card readers, so please also bring your physical card or cash, even if it's only as backup 👍

[gossippool]

i was gonna make a personal poolverine headcanons list because other people were doing it too but i realised my fics already have most of them so. here are some of my headcanons in fic snippet form. some contradict with others and some i don't even think are necessarily true but it's fun to experiment

people have said this before but logan fights wade because he sees himself in him (or because he realises that he actually doesn't and he hates that)

wade knows about and feels the (emotional and psychological) effects of all his other variant selves (and everything else if he tries)

logan's heightened senses gives him synethesia

logan doesn't actually like violence/fighting/blood during sex or like ever. it's just an unhealthy addiction that started from him killing all those people that he snuffed with alcohol but revived with wade, and a way to take his anger out on (someone like) himself

with regard to wade's chronic pain slight p pressure on his skin hurts more and in a worse way than sharp pains like getting stabbed

[vse-kar-vem]

💌🍷💄💋

idea completely inspired by @sparkles-oflight who said something in the jokeroutblr discord server about something like this being kris's next photoshoot!!! so all credit goes to them and the original model whose photograph i completely referenced

i could never do it justice!!!

[rathockey]

Nobody really cared, so it never really mattered It never really mattered, so it never really happened What's the point in fighting for a happy ever after?

- identity // grandson

[ionomycin]

Time for a new version!

I’ve really just had hand avatars on all my art social medias since 2015 huh...

[larkoneironaut]

I had a dream that I was going on a ball and Solas was there, I tried to ignore him in like a shy or flirty way? And then that delicate, intimate touch when I was walking right past him … I’m never gonna forget that dream, I had to sketch it 😭

Pls ignore that Solas' scar is mirrored, I'm an idiot

[sylvieserene]

Fixing history using the power of editing and my editing skills!!

For today we have, New Titans (1980) Issue #100

✨ Wedding Special ✨

@robstarblog @robstaryeah pinging yall just in case so that this doesn't get lost in oblivion (It'd be painful since I worked 5 hours non stop on it lol)

I think the most time was taken by the final panel and adding in the finishing touches since I pretty much had to change everything to the pixel level, quite literally lol (I'm serious, I did)

Welp I hope the results were worth it! And with that, another one gets a good ending!!

I kinda didn't add sleeves in the first two panels of the final page because it didn't look good and looked janky with how I was editing it so yeah please ignore that-

[hall0wedwyrm]

I want to revive that 'Black Doom Lived' AU I wrote ages ago just so Eclipse can make fun of Shadow for being in a relationship/having a crush on Sonic.

"Darkling, do not make fun of him. They've been with mortals longer than we."

Eclipse rolls their eyes, and Shadow triumphantly smirks.

"... but it is rather pathetic though." Black Doom adds. If he could grin he would.

Eclipse howls with laughter. Shadow stares, slowly turning red.