#i'm actually real curious to see how this goes.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Actually I might as well add onto my thoughts and opinions on what's going on with skk right now.

[ID: A screenshot from Bungou Stray Dogs Season 5 Episode 10. Dazai sits against the metal wall, holding his injured shoulder. His blood is spattered on the wall behind him. He looks up at Chuuya, who is standing before him with a gun to his head. End ID.]

I still think the drowning in 101 was a trap set by Dazai for Fyodor before he knew Chuuya would be there - it would be weird for him to sacrifice his partner and I see no reason he would flashback to some of their memories and have such a choked voice otherwise. Dazai is not like Mori. This has been long established since Dark Era - he is selfish, and thus bad at actually making the sacrifice play with someone he has an actual connection with. I think the trap was set, Dazai had no choice but to follow through, but hoped that Chuuya would break control and escape. He tries a speech which seems like it's going to be a very genuine farewell... only to switch tacks and play it off as though he doesn't care. I do think there was a possibility Chuuya could've died in that scene... but Dazai was deeply hoping he wouldn't.

Seems a silly thing, for Dazai to be relying on hope so much as a master strategist, but you have to remember that Dazai has a near unshakeable trust in Chuuya. He thinks very highly of him, and has a "Chuuya can push through anything" kind of mentality that he's had since they were teenagers. Of course Chuuya can break through the vampire brainwashing! He just needs the right impetus!

So we have Dazai do what he does best - try to piss off Chuuya. The "sorry there weren't any", the goading him into punching him - this is very typical behaviour for these two, and it might've actually worked if it weren't for Fyodor's intervention.

"Good-bye!" is probably a plan. It's the same name as one of Dazai-sensei's works (his last, unfinished work, in fact...), and we know Double Black's plans are named after the author's stories/poems. Note that it comes right after the first goading he does, when Chuuya is more likely to be agitated and thus aware. But also note that, if this is indeed a plan, then it's a little strange for it to be named after only Dazai's story, without incorporating Chuuya's. Their plans are named after combinations of their works' titles, remember? So, it can be reasonably assumed that this plan is solely Dazai's, that it's possible he came up with it on the fly, and that he is desperately trying to get Chuuya on board.

Unfortunately, the usual goading isn't working, so Dazai turns to something he only very rarely uses, and rarer still to Chuuya's face - and that is sincerity. He's trying to reach him, and I really think that's genuine. He's changing tactics, trying something else - because a) this plan won't work without Chuuya, and b) Chuuya is being mind controlled and you cannot convince me that Dazai isn't still royally pissed off about that. He needs to snap him out of it, now.

Even if this is a plan Dazai came up with on the fly, Chuuya will be able to catch on quickly and go along with it - but only if he is actually conscious enough to do so. Double Black's plans can only work when they are both on the same page, and right now - that's more than a little ambiguous. Dazai actually has no real way of knowing whether or not Chuuya heard him, or even if he did, if he is capable of acting on it - but Dazai's faith in Chuuya is so strong that he naturally assumes Chuuya can break through it. Having him shoot him like that came as a genuine shock.

Fyodor implicitly accuses Dazai of underestimating his partner... but I think it's the exact opposite. Dazai is so used to Chuuya being able to struggle through anything that for him apparently not to be able to in this situation is genuinely blindsiding.

It appears that Dazai, too, has been relying on Chuuya's strength.

Tldr: There is a plan, but it is solely Dazai's, not a typical joint skk plan and he has been trying to communicate it to Chuuya and break past the brainwashing - which means Dazai is actually being horribly genuine right now. Unfortunately... it doesn't seem like Chuuya is conscious enough to participate in this plan at the moment (though possibly conscious enough to, like Akutagawa, prevent himself from making a killing blow).

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Ateez as Dads-

collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell who shares the same single braincell as me bc we know we're not the only ones obsessed with the recent ateez x children content

(disclaimer: i don't like babies. but the idea of ateez handling babies? adorable. loren, however, loves kids so here's the outcome)

Hongjoong

"hold this thing, i don't know what to do with it."

"that's your child, hongjoong."

looks like the frightened hamster meme when the baby starts crying out of nowhere

sometimes sleeps through the baby crying its lungs out at night LMAO but that's only when he's exhausted asf

bet he'll write a song or two about fatherhood too and you'll be like 'what would you know about it you slept through the night'

may be uncomfortable at times but when he starts bonding, you'll see it in his actions

like when he reforms cute little things like clothings or shoes for his baby, adding little dangly things to the crib

or when he makes cute accessories for the baby

matching reformed things omg

super stylish matching parent-kid duo

the bonding literally happens with the smallest moment like one day the baby is crying in his arms and tugs at his shirt with its little fist and he's done for he loves his kid 10000x more all of a sudden

and when the baby calms down immediately after coming into his arms? he'll die of happiness

and when the baby recognises him in a group of people??? new level of dad unlocked

literally melts whenever the kid runs across the room to fly into his arms or calls him daddy

paints the room for his kid and gives them a wall in their room to paint whatever they like

lets the kid paint his nails and they could even have that one matching painted fingernail omg

later when the kid grows up they'll have uv lights and like the latest stuff for nails but you bet hongjoong's gonna dry that nail paint by blowing on it-

literally the most supportive, allowing the kid to explore beyond conventional boundaries and guiding them along

also very attentive esp when they start growing up and observing

he'll make sure he answers all of their curious little questions to the best of their understanding

and surprisingly, he won't mind his kid in his studio

like how adorable is it when you find your kid in his lap, sharing earphones as he composes?

he just loves it when they sit on him or when they lie down next to him/on top of him when he's resting that's his therapy

Seonghwa

more of a mother than the real mother

knows exactly what to do like he's raised six kids already (i'm looking at you ateez)

wakes up at ass o clock in the morning to shush the crying baby so you can get some sleep :')

mother-coded that's what he is

you'll definitely be learning motherhood from him LMAO

but jokes aside he's actually the best partner you could have asked for in such a situation

he's so so patient with the kid and you

esp you

he understands when you're overwhelmed and when you need a break

so he's always willing to give you some space and takes care of the kid in the meanwhile which is so :')

so you try your best to return it to him in every way as well <3

you'll both be figuring this journey out together and that's the best part

bonds with the kid so good

esp when they start going to school and he literally can't wait for them to get home so he can hear about how their day was

lives for the gossip he gets from his kids about school too LOL

he'll be like yass give me the tea come on

also pretty much behaves like a kid when he's having a good time with his kids

like he goes 'no it's my turn to select the ice cream flavour you have to try this you'll love it i'm not hearing a no-'

kids teach him new slangs but you bet he'll stick to the good old 'no cap' and 'yeet'

gets matching stupid stuff like those green alien glasses for him and the kid-

you just know your kids will love him more than you and you accept it. you don't mind that at all bc he's such a lovable person

he'll always be running around the house with them trying to catch them or letting them catch him

they will watch animated movies together and draw together and make legos together they're gonna share that obsession

he's there. always. in every moment of their life :')

Yunho

curious to learn

but that doesn't stop him from playing with the baby like they're a toy boi has no fear

he's always gushing over how small and cute and adorable they are

he'll also be a bit scared at first to hold the baby in his arms but will get used to it real quick

loves feeding them and cleaning them with you

he's got some sort of magic to him too he can soothe a crying baby in seconds

plays with them/holds them like they're a cat/puppy

gives them rides on his shoulders and they love it you can hear their laughter ring around the house

teases you about how they look nothing like you but if they do look like you more, he'll be scanning them for one similarity that he can boast about.

"he's got my smile. see?"

loves playing with their hair and combing and styling it

also loves it when you all match unintentionally when going out

the type to play with the kids in the most unconventional ways when you're not looking

almost accidentally drops the baby at least once a week- i said ALMOST okay he's good at catching.

kids cling on to his long legs and he effortlessly walks like no big deal omgg

would even swing his legs like an amusement ride which might possibly earn a scream from you-

also once used the laundry basket as a rollercoaster for the kid. you can imagine how that ended. no living beings were harmed tho-

HE'S A FUN DAD OK

literally his kids are always running around him asking him to do sth fun with them or tell them jokes or play with him

teaches the kids the latest trends

makes dancing tik toks with them

he's actually also the super responsible dad, always dependable. you literally have nothing to worry about esp bc he can be serious when he needs to be

he allows the kids to take challenges, believing the kids need to grow at their own pace and that getting hurt is also a part of growing up

teaches them to be kind, to respect people, to always smile

goes on dates with them to the amusement parks, aquariums, carnivals etc and when they're older they go fishing or go-karting

Yeosang

(sincerely apologise for using a photo with alcohol in a post with babies BUT DOES HE NOT LOOK BABY HERE???)

the babiest of dads

googles whatever the baby does as if that will give him the answer

notices every little thing the baby does

follows instructions like a robot

forgets that the baby is actually a baby and they can't really do their stuff themselves so he has to do it for them-

like for example after a meal he clears the high chair and forgets he needs to help the baby off the chair until it wails LOL

is always worrying about what the baby is feeling esp when it is crying without a reason

always fusses about the little things bc he cares so much :')

sometimes you have to sit him down and tell him that it's okay if the baby is crying-

he even enjoys simply watching the baby esp when they do stupid stuff or play around with food

"that's disgusting but so adorable"

gets taught the latest trends by his kid but still ends up using them in the wrong contexts lmao

yeosang and the kid wailing about the mom on their way home until yeo takes the wrong turn and the kid glares at him and points to the right direction

yeosang and the kid in the shopping mall and yeosang gets lost

goes to the counter to pay but taps his pockets bc he can't find his wallet and the kid sighs loudly and hands it to him

yeosang taking his kid to the parent teacher meeting and he forgets HE'S the parent

he may be forgetful and zone out at times but he's actually very responsible. you never worry whenever you leave your kid with him and go out. you can depend on him <3

you'll see him mature as his kids grow up too, like you can literally see him learning fatherhood

doesn't mean they won't open dexter's laboratory when you're gone and clean up the mess before you come-

sees cute posts about lunchboxes with octopus sausage and seaweed characters on the rice but canNOT replicate it even after spending hours but the kids flaunt it like a masterpiece at their school <3 (loren you're so right for this)

his kids' friends WILL have a crush on yeosang. the teachers might too. how could you not??

his kids gon be the prettiest istg-

San

i'm sorry to break it to you but you'll have to take care of two babies <3

as loren said 'normal children learn behaviours from their parents. san learns behaviours from the baby.'

pretends to cry when the baby is crying so he can also receive hugs and kisses from you

he's actually the most responsive father ever, like he'll know what's actually happening with the kid instead of pretending to know

it's like he's connected to them on an astral level

so he's pretty much a natural caretaker

like he said, he knows how to give love

so he'll never make you feel less loved as well

he'll keep reassuring you how imp you are to him esp now that you're the mother of his child and he'll always be grateful to you for bringing this blessing into his life

but he also has his moments LMAO like i can just imagine him playing with the kid in the most babiest of manners

to the point the kid refuses to listen to you

the kids will always ALWAYS choose him whenever they're asked the 'who do you love more mom or dad' question

and even though that makes you pissed momentarily bc pls who wouldn't get pissed you find it super adorable how much your kids love their dad

safe place.

tells his kids early on what's good and what's bad. no compromises

teaches them when to be sorry and when to stand up for themselves

taekwondo together <3 he'll make them show off at family events or stuff and demand that the audience give good reactions otherwise he's gonna pout sooo hard

he'll make sure his kids don't laze around. chores? yes. exercise? yes. nap-time? necessary. homework? don't even dare to say no. play-time? HELL YES

teaches traditional games to his kids too and makes them interact with other kids to play instead of video games so early on

the video games are HIS okay they can't touch it until they grow up

kids go to him for help in school work and he'll sit there all zoned out wondering when the hell this got included in their syllabus

will refuse to give up until you catch him tired and scratching his head in confusion

"i'm pretty sure education gets tougher every year."

"whatever helps you sleep at nights san <3" LOL

loves spending time together, all of you, anywhere as long as you all are together <3

Mingi

9/10 times will cry when the baby cries

but also really good at taking care of them and it amazes him too

calms the baby down with the cutest most concerned face ever so he looks more baby than the baby

pretends to sleep when the baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night

until you poke his stomach and go 'don't you fucking dare' and he starts laughing helplessly

but then takes the reins and lets you sleep if you look too done <3

jokingly tries to gaslight you into thinking it's your turn to settle the baby but you bet you're keeping tabs too

but when he sees how tired you look, he'll never ever complain no matter how tired he may be himself. will even tuck YOU into bed

the type to sit in the lounge with some kid's show on with the kid itself and you give him snacks to feed the kid

but at some point he got a taste and now he's looking at the packaging and going 'this shit good' when it's actually some baby-friendly snack 😭

and then suddenly it's all gone and the kid is glaring at mingi with angry eyes 😭😭 and he's like pleasure is temporary my child-

but now he has his own fav baby snacks too.

does freestyle rapping about the misery of fatherhood LMAO

also does lame stuff like tapping on the baby's shoulder and when they turn to look at him he has his finger out so it pokes the baby's cheek like-

gets matching shades for him and the kid

hangs out with them a lot, even if it's inside

hears every story they have to tell but also they just looooveee to hear stories from him bc he's a good storyteller

even though half of the shit is made up but he pretends it actually happened-

"one time i saw your mom ugly crying in a shop. i asked her what the matter was. she saw me and fell in love instantly."

"wasn't it the other way?"

loves swinging his kids in his arms whenever he comes home and then you stand there all pouty and he runs after you-

can't scold kids to save himself. can never. always bursts out laughing whenever he glares at them. so you do that for him.

now you're the antagonist in the house

can't handle when his kids are being adorable like he'll just clutch his heart and pretend to faint

best father-kid dynamic bc he's the playful but responsible dad

Wooyoung

he's a natural at this come on

"i feel like he's more my sibling than my own child"

always has his baby in his arms to the point you have to snatch it from him bc you can see he's tired

takes care of everything- from bathing them to feeding them. he's so good at it too

you love him even more bc he may tease you to bits but you never thought he'd be a cooperative lovable menace too

talks to the baby in baby language and they actually hold conversations

and when you join he'll just make fun of you LOL

starts treating you like a baby too when you're tired and you're not sure you hate that you might actually start doing it on purpose too-

taught the kid the art to charm people so they're throwing random cheeky compliments around

like they'll go to a shop and the kid will compliment the shopkeeper and they'll be like omg so precious and hand freebies

and those freebies would be wooyoung's earnings btw aint no way the kid gon have those

will train a family of cutest loveable menaces :')

the chef dad

creates masterpiece lunchboxes for his kids that even the teachers are tempted to steal

i can just imagine the girl friend (also crush) of wooyoung's son at school having a big fat crush on wooyoung and wanting to marry him like come on😭😭

then the son gets super grumpy about it and woo sits him down and asks what's bothering him

then he'll teach him how to bake cookies and the son ends up sweeping the girl off her feet omgg

woo placing his hands over his kid's hands bc they're too small to properly hold the piping bag when they decorate cakes and cookies and cupcakes

them playing in the kitchen and throwing flour on each other and you come and look all smugly at woo bc yes you're gonna clean this mess later on

but you end up joining them :')

dolls up his kids and asks them to kiss him on both his cheeks before they leave

and you bet the kids love that routine

hugs. all the time. hugs.

makes sure to capture these moments for memories if you haven't already and he'll love looking back at these days <3

Jongho

best dad

makes sure he doesn't forget to take care of you as you take care of the baby :')

always gets surprised when the baby does sth new

priceless reactions from him, esp when the baby first says a comprehensible word or takes its first steps

always spreading his arms whenever he spots the baby so the baby can crawl/walk/run to him

swings them in the air and does those little throws

the strong dad. the one who's carrying the kids effortlessly- one on the shoulder, one under the arm, walking as if they weigh nothing

jongho's kid: hi i'm hungry

jongho: hi hungry, i'm dad

overuses every dumb dad joke ever to exist but still finds it super hilarious and sometimes you'll end up laughing along

"back in my days-"

"ah shit here we go again."

bc you know dad jokes aside he's actually a super funny guy when he wants to be

the type to team up with his kid to tease YOU

whispers shit in their ears like 'go pull out your mom's hairclip as revenge for her not letting us hang out in the snow with ice cream last night' when you're super occupied and gets a good laugh out of it

taps your shoulder and then looks away when you glare at him but ends up pointing at the kid like the kid's the one who did it-

when the two are a giggling mess it's hard to differentiate who's the actual kid from the parent

sings with his kids a lot. might vocally train them a bit too

road trips are gonna be so much more fun when everyone's singing at the top of their lungs

when his kid is older and starts to get school assignments that require some form of art like creating a model or designing a poster, his kid is definitely going to score an A because jongho can and WILL help and end up over-achieving LOL

will plan with his kids on days like valentine's or mother's day or anniversary, prepare to get serenaded by the lot

he involves them a lot in everything so they grow up super smart

loves doing stupid things with the kids too like he'll literally be the one following the kids at times

but you love it bc you never have to worry about anything with him ;-; <3 he's also super protective

unless there's a bug in front of you. then you're all on your own.

[angelltheninth]

Hi hi again~ I was wondering what your take on genshin men and period sex? Been thinking about this for a little bit now, curious to see what you think.

I'm on my period rn, I feel horrible, its very torturous, but if it gets real bad I can take a day off work on Monday so... silver lining I guess?

Pairing: Kaeya, Diluc, Itto, Xiao, Gorou, Thoma, Childe, Pantalone, Dottore, Capitano, Kaveh, Al-Haitham, Zhongli x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, period sex, blood, fingering, breeding kink, soft sex, gentle sex, affection

A/N: Sex on your period is a good thing actually but obviously not for every one.

HE FINGERS YOU - Diluc, Childe, Capitano, Al-Haitham

Just a tiny bit squeamish about eating you out but he will gladly finger you quickly. You're warm and its all wet already, he just needs to go slower because he doesn't know how much will hurt you. This needs to be a pleasant experience so he focuses on the spots he knows make you come fast and hard. He's careful not to get things too messy, other then his fingers of course but he can easily wash them later so don't worry about it, just lay back, try to relax and let him take care of you, let him tell you how much he loves you.

MAKES YOU COME ALL OVER HIS COCK - Kaeya, Itto, Thoma, Pantalone, Kaveh

The blood doesn't bother him when the prize is seeing your eyes roll back and your pussy come all over his cock. Its a lot messier then usual and he needs to do it a little faster because if the blood starts to dry out it will hurt you when he goes back in. Because of that he lets you control the pace this time, lets you pull on his hips while he focuses his hands and mouth to your nipples, which are even more sensitive then usual and keeps sucking and licking until he feels your pussy squeezing around his length.

ACTIVATES HIS BREEDING KINK - Gorou, Dottore, Zhongli

A few days before you go on your period he notices you're getting more sensitive, more responsive. When he sees you bleeding he's not freaked out by it and before you can even think that he doesn't want you now he's all over you, kissing you and making you sigh and moan into his mouth. Never think he doesn't want you. He will always want you, in fact right now all he wants to do is push his cock inside you and fill your pussy up with a fuck ton of cum.

[perfectlywrongformend3s]

Unwrap Me-Colby Brock

(not my gif)

A/n: I just thought I'd drop this small one. I know Christmas is over, but I got sick over the break and didn't get to finish until today. So Merry Late Christmas to whoever celebrates. I kind of got this idea from an Ariana Grande song. Please relax and enjoy.

-Samantha 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was sitting on the couch scrolling through tik tok when I kept getting videos of girls making outfits out of wrapping paper. I just knew I had to try on Colby. I went to my room to start planning. As I was planning out how I want the outfit to look I got a call from Kat. I picked it up and smiled. " Hey Kat! What's up?" I questioned

" Hey, just wanted to chat." She said 

I nodded while cutting out the pieces for my outfit. " What are you doing?" Kat questioned 

I replied with, " You know that trend going around where everyone is creating outfits out of wrapping paper?" 

She let out a loud laugh while saying, " Don't tell me you're making one for Colby." 

I stayed silent while making the skirt. She stopped laughing. " OMG! Oh my god! You're actually being for real." 

I let out a chuckle. " Yea, I just think Colby's reaction will be amazing." She was just watching me. " Girl when you're done making it please show me." 

I nodded while continuing the skirt I'm still making. 

'time jump'

I was just about when I heard someone enter Kat's room. I glanced up to fins Sam. " Hey Sam!" I shouted 

He glanced up confused until he saw me through the phone. " Hey Y/n/n. What are you working on?" He said, wrapping his arms around Kat. 

I smiled, " Something for Colby, we'll, more for my entertainment." I said laughing at the end

He raised his eyebrows interested in the thing I was making. " Are you almost done?" Kat asked

Right as she asked I finished the very last part of the outfit. I smiled at both of them. " Done." I exclaimed 

" We'll go try it on." Kat said excitedly 

I smiled and nodded. " Be right back." I said rushing to the bathroom. I was carefully putting it on to not rip it. I heard Kat yelling through the phone. " Girl hurry, I want to see." I let out a soft chuckle while double checking that everything was perfect. I smiled, hyping myself up. I opened the door and stated...

" Okay, Are you guys ready?" 

I didn't get to hear Sam's response due to Kat screaming. " I've been ready." I let out a laugh before walking over to the phone. Kat let out a loud gasp while Sam's jaw immediately dropped. "Omg! You look so gorgeous Y/n/n." Kat said hyping me up

I felt my cheeks getting warm. " Thanks Kat." 

" Colby is going to die when he sees you." Kat stated 

I smiled when Sam smirked. " What's that face for?" He let out a chuckle before saying,"Just so you know Colby just showed up at the house."  

I felt myself panic, " What!" I whisper shouted

He just laughed at my reaction. Kat let out a small laugh before calming me down. " Y/n/n don't panic, you look stunning." I glanced at her, " You think so." 

She smiled through the phone. " Now go get your man." 

I chuckled. " Well I'll let you know how it goes." She winked, " You better." Which made me laugh, we hung up and I started hyping myself up. I took  a deep breath before calling him just to make sure he was home. 

" Hey, baby." he said 

" Hi." 

I heard him let out a chuckle. " What's up, I know you're home." 

I let out a small giggle. " I just want to make sure you are home." 

" Why?" he sounded curious 

" You know, I may or may not have a surprise for you." 

" Really!" he said 

I ignored his response to ask, " Where are you in the house?" 

" The living room." he stated 

I smiled to myself. " Stay there." 

Before he could say anything else I hung up. I took one last deep sigh before heading down the stairs. I turned on the song which made Colby laugh. " Babe, what is this?" he asked through deep chuckles 

Which only made me let out giggles. " It's your surprise, silly." I said walking down the rest of the steps. 

" Okay you ready?" I asked feeling nervous 

" Babe, what are you nervous about?" 

I let out a chuckle. " No reason, I'm coming in." 

" We'll hurry up and get your cute butt in here." 

I felt myself blush. I slowly walked in and Colby's eyes widened. I felt butterflies swarming in my stomach along with my heartbeat getting faster just from him watching me. 

Colby's POV

I was really confused when she turned music on but also kind of excited to see what she had planned. 

After I told her to get her cute butt in the room, I was getting pumped up. What I didn't expect was to see her in wrapping paper. My brain froze just watching her. I was speechless, I then listened to the lyrics and smirked. " So you want me to unwrap you?" I saw her blush which was adorable. I got up from the couch and walked over to her. I gently placed my hands on her hips and glanced up and down her body. Seeing her body covered in wrapping paper up closer was even more exciting. 

I leaned my head to her right ear and whispered. " I would love to do the honors of ripping this off you." 

I pulled back to find her staring up at me with so much love. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me down to her lips. Once her lips touched mine I couldn't stop myself from going in deeper. She let out a soft groan from the feeling. I felt my hands exploring her body. I pulled away and picked her up over my shoulder. She let out a slight scream. " Colby!" 

I just chuckled and made my way to the bedroom. " What for the room cause you will be screaming my name to the whole world darling." I said 

Your POV

 I felt myself blush again from his words. I then wrapped my arms around his back so I didn't fall. " Colby..." I mumbled 

He tightened his hold on me and responded with, " Yes princess." 

I let out a nervous giggle. " Um...the paper might have torn when you picked me up." All he did was laugh, " Well it was going to come off anyway." 

The next thing I knew I was softly tossed on his bed with him leaning over me. " I can't wait to rip this off." he whispered 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, I know some of you won't like me for how I ended it, but I rather not write anything with that. I mean feel free to imagine. I know I might be robbing you guys, it's just I don't feel super comfortable writing the whole topic. 

Thank you so much for supporting me through the many years I started writing. 

-Samantha

[ohhiimjazzed]

NSFW Alphabet LMK Sun Wukong

CW: Explicit sexual content, MINORS DNI

A - Aftercare (what are they like after sex):

at first, he had to be told what made you comfortable, but after that, he's basically a pro. he's actually a very caring person to the people closest to him. that includes you.

B- Body Part (their favorite body part on themselves and his partner's)

On himself: I know it's cliche, but tail. it's something that's unique about him. it's what makes a monkey a monkey. so he takes pride in having a tail. He's the Monkey King after all. He's going to be proud of the Monkey part of him.

On You: your hips. LOVE HANDLES MAN. He will grip onto your hips whenever he possibly can. From the front, from the back, doesn't matter. It also keeps him grounded during sex. he likes to feel that you're there with him and that you're real.

C- Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he likes to cum inside if he can. it's either if he has a condom on, or if you are on birth control. (don't be silly, wrap your willie!). but if you're trying for a baby, oh, he is going to indulge in cumming inside you.

if he had to take another option, then he'll cum on your stomach or ass

D- Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he's shapeshifted himself to have female anatomy before. and he's touched himself with those parts. it wasn't really a horny thing really. he was just curious to see how women masturbate

E - Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Wukong is kind of a whore. He isn't a virgin by any means. But, this is the first time he's had sex with a human. Humans are a lot more fragile than demons. He's a bit scared he'll break you when you did it for the first time. by the time he learns your limits, he's good and he'll know what he's doing

F - Favorite Position (that goes without saying)

He's got a couple

The Lotus: (one partner is sitting in the other's lap while wrapping their legs around their partner) He's able to grasp your hips easy here, and he can hit it pretty deep

Doggy Style: (one partner is on their hands and knees while the other is behind them) again, he can grab your hips more easily with this position. plus it's a lot more animalistic. it unlocks the demon instincts in him.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he's called you 'bro' during sex. it was one time and it was spur of the moment. did it ruin the mood? yes. was it hilarious? hell yes. what I'm trying to say, is that he's not afraid to crack a joke during sex

H - Hair (how groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

the carpet matches the drapes because it's fur. he's a monkey. there's gonna be fur down there. but, when you come along he trims some of it so it doesn't get stuck up a hole or something

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he can get really romantic when he wants to. he's got the duality of calling you 'bro' in bed, to whispering sweet nothings to you. he's a cheesy fuck tho. he'll do the rose petals and the candles

J - Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

he's rubbed one out before. he'll do it to the thought of you either if you're gone or not in the mood. he won't force you into having sex with him so jacking off is the next best thing (look at him doing the bare minimum)

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink: bro will keep it inside you after he finishes if you ask for it. he wants to keep it there in hopes that you'll get pregnant (if you can). he's seen how loving and caring you are towards the baby monkeys. it makes him want to start a family with you.

Praise Kink: it goes both ways for this one. he likes to see how you react to him praising you. praise him too while you're at it. tell him how good it feels. he'll go harder and try to hit deeper. also he just wants to feel loved and make you feel loved.

Degradation: call him a good little whore. he'll love it

L - Location (favorite places to do the do)

he'll do it in the bedroom (obviously) it's the most privacy, but he also doesn't mind doing it in places around FFM. you just gotta make sure the monkeys aren't able to catch you two. some of them are really young and we are not here to traumatize children

M - Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)

PET HIS TAIL! Do it! I fucking dare you! He'll pounce on you if he's feeling it that day. His tail is sensitive man. He might even moan outright if you pet it during his rut/heat.

Also generally being in a heat/rut like state will get him going anyways. (this is demon terms not real monkey terms by the way)

N - No (something they're not willing to do, turn-offs)

will not physically hurt you unless he know's it's fine. the most he'll do is biting to mark you. he's still a bit cautious about your human physique. he sometimes forgets about his own strength and will leave bruises on your hips sometimes. he gets really guilty about that

O - Oral (preference in giving, or receiving, their skill, etc.)

he's more of a giver in this regard. he likes seeing you writhe in pleasure while he gives you head. pull his hair while he gives you head, he likes that. if you really wanna give him a blowie though, he'll be driven wild. will whimper

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

more like slow and rough. he likes to tease you a bit by going back and forth from slow to fast. but he'll keep a good pace most of the time. when you're close to cumming, he'll go faster so you can chase your high

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a good quickie as much as the next guy. he'll do a quickie if he's really stressed though. it's a good release for you both. it's also a time when you can give him a blowie

R- Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's down for most of everything. for some things you've gotta talk to him about it and probably explain what it is. but that's only for a few kinks.

S - Stamina (how long can they go for? how long do they last?)

this bitch is immortal. he's got stamina for days. You have to be the one to call things off for the night because it's most likely he can keep going. he can even go all night if you're up for it

T -Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he'll use toys, but you gotta be the one that owns them. he doesn't really have toys because of how isolated he was from humans before Lego Monkie kid began. he'll use the vibrator on you if you ask for it. hell, he'll even let you use a strap and peg him.

U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

the definition of tease. he will edge you when you've been bad my guy. be fucking prepared. you have to like edging if you wanna have sex with him on a regular basis. he's not a monster tho, he'll let you cum, eventually

V - Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

it depends on if he's on top or bottom. if he's on top, he'll let out some grunts and even a groan or two while he's pounding into you. if you're on top, he will whimper. DO IT. MAKE HIM WHIMPER AND WHINE FOR YOU

W - Wild Card (a random headcanon about the character)

after all that's happened throughout LMK, Wukong wants to repair his relationship with Macaque. He knows that it's going to take a lot of work and patience, and it'll never be like how it was. but, he wants to give it a try. there's a part of him that still cares about Macaque.

X - X -ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

he's about average size (4-5 inches) but he's a shapeshifter, so he can change the size to experiment. he tried to make it nine inches and holy jesus you couldn't fit that in you without a bit of prep.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he'll do it about 4-5 times a week. he won't do it when MK is over to train with him though. it's too much of a risk to have him walk in on you two. he can't risk having his student looking at him with disgust

Z - ZZZ (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards)

he'll clock out when you're all taken care of for the night. if you're having a bath afterward, he'll probably be out by then. once you get in the bed, he's reaching for you. it's cute

---------

okay, thank you for coming to my ted talk

[lurkingshan]

Unknown Episode 7

What a pitch perfect separation episode; this show continues to kill it. The loneliness and heartache was practically wafting out of my screen this week, and it made the time apart feel real and meaningful even as it came to an end relatively quickly in show time.

Qian hardly said a word this episode, but we know exactly how devastated he was to be without Yuan because his despair was present in every moment. It was in the way he always looked drawn and tired, the way he moved so listlessly, they way he seemed to be constantly self-soothing with substances, the way he kept getting lost in his head and staring off at something only he could see. Even when he got it together a little at San Pang's urging, he focused his efforts on keeping Yuan's room tidy and every mention of Yuan by a friend or acquaintance still caused pain to bloom on his face. His home was too quiet without his siblings and he missed them both, but his yearning was specific to Yuan and he was not just lonely, but heartsick. He was tense for this entire episode--right up until the moment he was finally able to lean on Yuan, take a breath, and relax.

For Yuan's part, he did his best to honor his brother's request, and used his time away to better himself. He took school seriously and worked diligently so that he would be able to come home some day. He respected Qian's boundaries, only contacting him on holidays and never pushing for more communication than what Qian was willing to grant him. Lili came home on every school break, but Yuan stayed away as requested. And his patience paid off when Qian finally relented and invited him home. The way he stepped out of that cab (bangs parted now so we know he's matured) and immediately reasserted his role in Qian's life felt important; he's not coming home with his tail tucked between his legs. He's important to Qian and he still has a role in this family and he is confident about that. Qian calmly letting himself be led away and falling right back into their old caretaking patterns said it all; Yuan has been missed.

I am interested to see how the show goes about revealing the Lili and San Pang relationship, which seems to have started sometime during this time skip, and how that will play into the larger repair of the family bond. They did not have a romance in the novel, so I'm curious to see what narrative purpose it will serve here. I appreciated that San Pang realized quickly that separating Qian from Yuan didn't actually help him at all; he'll think twice before interfering again. Lili, meanwhile, still doesn't know the cause of the fracture between her brothers, but most of the people around Qian seem to understand how Yuan's absence is affecting him. I liked the scene with Xiong Da Fang, which was a nod to his story in the source material (in the novel we actually saw him take that vow of monkhood and try to live that way for awhile before coming back to go into business with Qian) and a much needed reminder of who Qian is. The show is surrounding our little family with people who understand them and get why Qian and Yuan's bond is so different from the norm. They will need that community as their relationship continues to change.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Lilia Vanrouge - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Lilia: Seeing all these paintings on display, unchanging from when they were painted hundreds of years ago… it sure does bring me joy.

Lilia: Ooh, that painting over there is of the Thorn Fairy's men!

???: The Thorn Fairy's men, huh… Were they really that strong?

Lilia: Epel, so you were checking out this painting too. Are you curious about them?

Epel: Ah, yes! I was thinking they're rather head-empty lookin'… I mean, they look real sweet!

Lilia: Mhm, they are adorable. And despite that, they would always be carrying their weapons so as to respond to the Thorn Fairy's whims immediately.

Lilia: That means they must have been wonderfully loyal and brave soldiers.

Epel: I see… They don't really look like it, but when you put it that way, I can kinda see how cool they are, I guess?

Lilia: Right, right? And it just goes to show how great the Thorn Fairy was to be able to command such men.

Epel: Aren't they just following her because they've pledged loyalty to her?

Lilia: You should take a good look at this picture. See how they're all just filled with character?

Lilia: It's actually extremely difficult to folks like them in line. Isn't it the same with the students in our school?

Lilia: Everyone's so self-confident, they just do as they please. Those that actually listen to others, or follow orders are actually in the minority.

Epel: Ahaha… I'm getting what you're saying, I think.

Epel: Now I wonder how the Thorn Fairy was able to keep her men in line, then.

Lilia: Kufufu… You're a student of Night Raven College, you should already understand.

Lilia: You get them to understand just who is in charge by a show of force! It's the simplest method.

Epel: True… So that basically means that her men followed her because she was super strong.

Lilia: Mhm. But even so, a show of force won't be able to garner true loyalty.

Lilia: The most important thing when leading a legion is to build a trusting relationship with your men.

Lilia: Trust can't just be achieved overnight. I'm sure the Thorn Fairy put in a lot of effort to get to this point, too.

Epel: "Build a trusting relationship," huh… How would you do it if it was you, Lilia-san?

Lilia: THE BEST WAY IS TO SHARE A MEAL TOGETHER!

Lilia: I've actually served meals to the other Diasomnia students, hand-made by me.

Lilia: Everyone was so moved that they were utterly speechless. They couldn't even bring themselves to touch it.

Lilia: When they finally ate it, there was a whole range of reactions, including some who laid themselves out on the dining table, or those who covered their face with their hands. There were some who even burst into tears.

Epel: Wow, your cooking must be amazing!

Lilia: Mhm! Once I set my hand to it, I can make any petulant kid fall in line.

Lilia: Ever since then, I've tried to make more home-cooked meals to try to deepen the relationship between our dormmates…

Lilia: But they would all band together, saying they don't want to trouble me. They're all such humble boys.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Lilia: This is a painting of the Sorcerer of the Sand's companion. His red and blue feathers are bright and vibrant.

Epel: Kinda unusual to have a parrot as a sidekick, huh.

Lilia: Mhm. However, this parrot is said to be able to perfectly imitate human voices and speech.

Lilia: I'm sure that alone was something of use to the Sorcerer of the Sands.

Lilia: Ahh～ how envious. I wish I had a special ability to do something like that.

Epel: Would there even be something worth changing voices for?

Lilia: There's a lot to choose from. The best way to use it would be…

Lilia: FOR A VIRTUAL AVATAR STREAM!

Epel: A virtual avatar stream…? What is that?

Lilia: Oh what, you don't know? Basically, people create avatars that represents them on the internet…

Lilia: And they use those avatars to promote their content of food reviews and let's plays of video games.

Lilia: I didn't know myself, until one of my online gaming buddies recommended it to me…

Lilia: But I think it would be cool to use an avatar to become a different person and chat away with my viewers.

Lilia: Don't you think it would be fun to see my cute little self stream videos in an avatar of a big, strong, burly man?

Epel: Does that mean… I could be strong and burly on the internet, too!?

Lilia: Oh, are you interested too, Epel? Then we should collaborate and both become buff streamers!

Epel: That could be fun! Oh, so this is what you were talking about when you said you wanted to change your voice to become another person?

Lilia: That's right. Normally, you'd need a voice changer to change your voice.

Lilia: But that is just a whole different hassle to deal with. Sounds like there's no end to the amount of equipment you might end up needing for it

Lilia: I keep thinking I'll ask my online gaming buddies who might know more about it, but I get so absorbed by our quest that I keep forgetting.

Lilia: I'd sure love it if I got super popular and was drowning in likes, subscribes, and superchats.

Epel: I don't really get it, but… I think it's fun to think about becoming someone you really want to be!

Lilia: Right? Although, I do have a wonderful voice, you know… It could be a terrible shame to hide it with a voice changer.

Lilia: And if I'm going to use my velvet voice, I guess my avatar should be good-looking to fit…

Lilia: But if I do that, then it wouldn't be much different than my real self… Hrrrm, what to do?

Lilia: Ah…! Does that mean streaming with my real face would be on the table too…!?

Lilia: If I did that, I wouldn't need a voice changer, or the ability to imitate voices. That might be the quick and easy way to solve it.

Epel: Eh, what happened to collaborating with each other using buff avatars!?

Lilia: Oh, right! Ah, I'm getting forgetful in my old age.

Lilia: Maybe I could have two different avatars? Kufufu, this is starting to tickle my want for a new kind of challenge again.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Lilia: This old woman… This is the Fairest Queen in disguise. This painting depicts the scene where she is handing an apple to a princess.

Lilia: Maybe you're more familiar with this painting than I, since you're a student in Pomefiore?

Epel: In the Shaftlands, there is a well-known story about how the Fairest Queen donned a disguise in order to hide her identity.

Epel: I think Vil-san was saying that there's actually a lot of different interpretations for why, but…

Epel: I wonder why the Fairest Queen chose to disguise herself as an old woman?

Epel: If she was just trying to hide her identity, she could have also just chosen a cool and ripped figure…

Lilia: Perhaps she didn't want to frighten the princess. A muscular physique can be overpowering sometimes…

Lilia: And if she is too beautiful, she would also be difficult to approach. So, maybe that's why she thought an old woman would be a good choice?

Epel: Hmmm. I never even thought about how it'd be hard to approach someone because they're "too beautiful."

Lilia: Well, that makes sense for you. Nevertheless, human thought process is both inconsistent and interesting.

Lilia: To tell you the truth, even I had a time in my life where which people would only stare from a safe distance…

Lilia: But then during my travels, sometimes I would get random freebies at markets by people who thought me just a "cute little boy."

Lilia: That's when I realized for the first time, that I AM SUPER CUTE!!

Lilia: Ever since then, I've made it a point to share my cute charm with everyone as much as possible.

Lilia: I'd get things like free carriage rides, or steep discounts while shopping… You do it too, don't you, Epel?

Epel: I don't!! Although, yeah, I have gotten free snacks while running errands before, sure, but…

Lilia: So you're able to reap the benefits without actually showing off…! Mhm, I still have much to learn.

Lilia: But don't count me out yet. Like, even after enrolling at Night Raven College…

Lilia: I'd have classmates who'd save me a seat in the cafeteria, or carry heavy luggage for me…

Lilia: Everyone was just fawning over me ☆

Epel: That's… Aren't they just mocking you, though!? It's like they're looking down on you, I'd never let that pass.

Lilia: Kufufu, you still have a lot to learn, too. There's no harm in using what's available to you.

Lilia: But that is all old news, anyway. The longer I've spent time on campus, the more people have learned the extent of my abilities.

Lilia: There were times that I've completely shut down students from other dorms who lazily tried to pick fights with me, too…

Lilia: By the next semester, everyone was treating me completely different.

Lilia: Now, I'm stuck as "Reliable Lilia-san." And I really just wanted to settle into the role as the "Cute Little Brother."

Epel: That means they all recognized you for your abilities, right? Lilia-san, you're so cool!

Lilia: Kufufu, my cuteness is supposed to be my selling point, but I guess it's not bad to be called cool, neither.

Epel: No way, being cool is much better! It's great to hear a story like that of what could be.

Epel: …Ah, it's gotten pretty late. I'm going to start checking out other exhibits.

Lilia: Mhm, see you. Okay, since Epel has wandered off, I think I'll just meander a bit… Hm?

Lilia: Oh this… This is a painting of fairies gifting blessing to a princess. Heh. I can't help but chuckle every time I see this painting.

Lilia: If they were to gift her blessings of happiness, then they should have gifted her the strength to break her own curse. And yet…

Lilia: They chose to give her beautiful looks, and a beautiful singing voice. What fools

Requested by Anonymous.

[flaetsbnortoriginals]

I've just had a dream that was so steeped in Magic: The Gathering lore that I need to post it to tumblr on the off-chance that people who know enough to understand it will be able to read it, because if I tell it to the people I usually tell my dreams to they won't understand a dang thing. Sorry @one-time-i-dreamt

So. The dream was in Ravnica, and was about this planeswalker lady. She was white, with long straight blonde hair, and a fancy blue dress. I have the feeling that I was dreaming I was her before my dream remembered I'm a boring cis man without any amazing powers so as far as I can recall I'm just following her, like the main character of a story. I'm not sure I should call her my OC since she was created without any prompting of my conscious mind but none of the characters in the dream have names so I'll call her that.

OC was walking down a boulevard in Ravnica with this dude. They were pretending to be a couple, but the dude was actually a Dimir spy she had bested and was kind of her prisoner. Dimir guy wasn't very happy about it but wasn't too angry either, he saw his "custodianship" as a work thing and kind of respected OC, so they were chill.

OC saw a woman who she realized wasn't from this plane, although she was pretending to be a local. She challenged Dimir guy to point out what made them realize this. Now I expected this to go like a Sherlock sequence, with each one pointing out a detail in the woman's outfit or some very precise behaviour. Instead, OC starts by pointing out that this woman is wearing

A FRIGGING BRIGHT BLUE SOCCER JERSEY

and not only are soccer jerseys not usual clothes in Ravnica, (at least not until Hooligans at Rakdos Stadium is released), but it also has a giant number on it (77 if you're curious), except that Ravnica uses a different writing system, so any planeswalker would immediately clock her as an outsider. (I think that it's only sort of implied that each plane uses a different writing system, but in the dream that was settled truth.)

OC is so apalled at how poorly this woman - who needs a name, so I'll call her BadKellan for reasons that will soon become apparent - is at hiding herself, she decides to have a word with her. BadKellan realizes she's being followed and hoofs it - but OC and Dimir guy immediately use their Dimir crap to become invisible. BadKellan thinks he's shaken them off, but she's quite rattled, so she goes to her safehouse, which happens to be just around the corner. OC and Dimir sneak in behind her, then make themselves visible.

Now I should tell you that Dimir Guy does nothing else in this story. I was going to say that he's just Ken, he's just there, but it's actually worse - his presence makes the story make no sense, since OC is about to reveal some secrets to some random lady. But the dream didn't forget him: I vividly recall that he was still around all throughout this part of the dream, even though he does nothing else.

So. OC reveals herself and tells BadKellan that what she's doing is very dangerous. She tells her about the Dimir (the guild, not the random guy) and says that if they see her poorly sneaking around and think she's going to be trouble, or even can't figure out what her deal is, they're just going to kill her. Which means it's incredibly dangerous for her to go around like that.

BadKellan reveals a few things about herself. She's from Earth - yes, our real world. She's not a planeswalker. She was brought to Ravnica against her will and told to blend in and pretend to be a local. She doesn't feel comfortable revealing who told her to do that.

OC decides to give BadKellan a few pointers on how to lay low on Ravnica. She explains that she would dress mostly in gray, since colours are strongly associated with the guilds and she should stay away from them to stop making waves. She asks her to change her outift and she'll say if it draws attention.

BadKellan changes clothes. She's now dressed entirely in gray, which is good, except that her shirt

HAS A LARGE, GLITTERING PRINT ACROSS THE FRONT READING

girl

IT'S THE EXACT SAME THING AS BEFORE. IT'S A LARGE PRINT USING OFF-PLANE SCRIPT. It's not as large as the jersey number, sure, but I'd like to remind you that it's glittering!

OC is apparently as taken aback by this as I am, because she turns her into a squirrel.

In fact, she specifically turns her into the squirrel from Bloomburrow key art.

OC's logic is that BadKellan is so bad at blending in that this is the only way she can be safe. OC intends to release "squirrel girl" in a park while she tries to look into exactly whose plans she just ruined and how bad of an idea it was.

There was more to this dream, but my memories are fuzzy and it's (even more) uninteresting. I think it involves the Boros having a special currency that they gain when they help people but the Dimir also use it in a kind of ironic way? I don't remember.

[sebscore]

FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL | SEBASTIAN V. & LEWIS H.

pairings: lewis hamilton x fem!reader / sebastian vettel x fem!reader (with a lovely cameo from Markus Webber) 

warnings: swearing. implied infidelity. 

time stamp: june 21, 2021

author's note: this is an INTRODUCTORY chapter so certain things won't make sense now, but they will make sense later, luvies !! anyway- im so excited about this revamp and i hope old gentle hit readers will like it as well <3 

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''I don't know what you're doing out here, there aren't any courts around.'' 

Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me. 

Y/N glanced up from her phone, being met with the smiling face of Sebastian- a sight she had been able to ignore the ongoing weekend. 

''The courts don't need me today.'' Her words came out more passive aggressive than she had meant to, but the German driver's sudden appearance caught her off guard. ''Don't you think I should be asking you what you're doing here? I'm afraid you're in the wrong garage.'' She plastered a fake smile on her face, something Sebastian noticed in an instant. 

''Yeah, I, uh, wanted to talk to Lewis.'' He explained, leaning his arm on the wall. 

The Frenchwoman looked to where her partner was standing, deep in conversation with Bono and Angela. ''He's a little busy right now.'' 

''It seems so,'' he didn't glance over Lewis, his eyes staying on her, ''it's been a while since I've seen you.'' Sebastian stated, resting his head against his arm. 

Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, that's true. My schedule hasn't been working out too well with all the races this year.'' Her tennis tournaments and Lewis' races had been coinciding rather too much in her opinion. She felt guilty that she couldn't be there to support her boyfriend as much as he had been there for her. 

''That's too bad, but you've been doing really well this year.'' He told her, unconsciously admitting that he had been keeping tabs on her season. 

The tennis player raised her eyebrow, a little surprised at the unexpected compliment. ''Well, I appreciate that,'' she thanked him, ''although, I hope you're not stalking me.'' Despite the sarcastic tone in her voice, there was a truth to her words. 

''I've always been a fan, you know that.'' The Aston Martin driver retorted. 

Y/N let out a sigh. ''You're not here to see Lewis, are you, Sebastian?'' He got goosebumps as his name left her lips, lots of time had passed since the last time that happened. 

''The word was going around that you were here, wanted to see it with my own eyes.'' Sebastian revealed his real reason for his appearance at the Mercedes garage. 

The woman in front of him had an unimpressed look on her face. ''That's the kinda gossip everyone discusses here? It really gets more boring with each year that goes by.'' If her attendance was the biggest topic of the day, she didn't have very high hopes for the other ''gossips'' that went around the paddock. 

''I mean- you've always been the talk of the town here, haven't you?'' The comment made her cringe, a hard time controlling her facial expressions. ''And normally you make these grand entrances so people weren't too sure whether you were actually here or not.'' 

''I'm here for Lewis.'' Y/N stated, a bigger meaning behind her words than seemed on the surface. 

Sebastian let out a weird mix between a scoff and a chuckle, momentarily glimpsing at the ground. ''I don't doubt that you're here for Lewis, Y/N.'' 

He lied, he did doubt it. Many events had transpired between the pair for him to doubt her intentions and support for his longtime rival and eventually turned friend. Or in other words, Sebastian was convinced he had every right to raise his suspicions over Y/N and Lewis' relationship. 

''Can we not do this now?'' She didn't have the energy or interest to engage in a conversation with Sebastian about the obvious elephant in the room. 

The German had an answer ready, but was interrupted by a curious Brit approaching them. ''Hey, Seb! How are you, man?'' Lewis greeted him, holding out his fist. 

Sebastian quickly dropped the agitated expression on his face, wearing a soft smile instead. ''I'm good, and you?'' 

''Yeah, I'm good- feeling ready for today.'' Lewis was blissfully unaware of the tension in the air, happily grinning while putting an arm around his girlfriend's waist. ''Good conditions, I think it's going to be a nice race.'' 

''I think so too, looked really good out there.'' The younger man confirmed his words, glancing in-between the couple. 

Lewis nodded to what he was saying. ''Where are you starting again?'' The Mercedes driver asked, forgetting where his friend had ended up in qualifying. 

''Oh, P12.'' Sebastian quickly answered. 

''Well, I know you're gonna do great, man.'' Lewis had felt bad for the man, going from a top team to one that could barely make it into Q2. However, he knew Seb and that he would extract everything he could from his car. 

An appreciative smile appeared on the driver's face. ''Thank you, Lewis.'' 

''So, uh, what were you guys talking about?'' 

How his ''friend'' is here to see me and not you. 

A small panic flashed through Sebastian's eyes as he looked at Y/N who seemed more calm about her boyfriend's curiosity. ''Apparently, my attendance today has been the talk of the paddock so far.'' She chuckled, her eyes on Lewis. 

The 7x World Champion giggled at her answer, squeezing her hip. ''Really? That sounds like my girl.'' 

Sebastian observed the way they were wrapped up in each other, an ugly feeling resting in his stomach. He hated how natural it looked for them, how easy it was for them to show affection. Above all, Sebastian secretly despised the way she had her eyes set on her partner. She looked enthralled by Lewis as if he was the only person in the world at that moment. 

He despised it, because that is how the woman's eyes used to stare at him.  

The best word to describe Sebastian and Y/N's history was complicated, and even that term didn't do their relationship justice. 

They first met in 2008 at the Italian Grand Prix where Sebastian took his first ever Formula 1 race win. She had been invited by his French teammate to the Toro Rosso garage, ultimately bumping into the 21 year-old German. 

It didn't take them too long to become close friends; they share a birth year, both are incredibly passionate about their sport and the two of them have a special talent in pushing other people's buttons in a charming way. 

It almost seemed like a cheesy rom com where the two protagonists meet and despite their different careers, they fall in love and live happily ever after. 

However, there is a huge emphasis on the word 'almost', because in a traditional rom com the male protagonist doesn't have a long term girlfriend who he swore he was going to marry someday. In an ideal world, that's where their story should have ended. 

But this isn't an ideal world. 

''He's here for you,'' she pointed from Sebastian to Lewis, ''so I'll leave you two.'' Sebastian wanted to protest, suggesting to leave himself, but she was already making her way to Tiffany who was standing on the opposite side of the garage. 

Sebastian's eyes followed her steps, swiftly turning his head once Lewis started speaking. ''What's up, man?'' 

''Nothing, I just, uh, wanted to, uh,'' the German figured he should have come up with at least a probable excuse to talk to Lewis before coming to the Mercedes camp, ''there's, uh, this new project I'm working on and I would love to talk to you about it, but maybe we can do it another time, I think we, uh, have to get ready.'' He rambled on, simply wanting to go back to his own team. 

''Yeah, that's alright. I can't wait to hear what you've been developing!'' The Brit knew that whatever his friend had been planning, would be a great success and he felt touched that Seb wanted to share his ideas with him. 

Sebastian put up a happy facade to hide his discomfort, ''Thanks,'' guilt crept up on him at the sight of Lewis' genuine excitement over the mere talk about something he had been working on, ''I have to go now, but I'll see you out on track.'' 

They shared a small hug, patting each other on the back. ''Yeah, good luck, man.'' They bid each other goodbye, each resuming their own pre-race routine. 

Y/N has subtly observed the conversation between the two world champions, trying hard not to show her satisfaction at the visible nerves on Sebastian's face and the awkwardness in his behaviour. 

''By the way, I really like your outfit today. It looks great on you.'' Tiffany complimented her, shifting the athlete's focus from Lewis to the Australian cyclist. ''Thank you, I absolutely love your dress! Black really suits you.'' Y/N returned the favour, scanning the woman's dress. 

''Thank you so much, I wasn't too sure about-'' 

''Sorry, Tiff! Can I borrow her for a second?'' Lewis interrupted her, his arms instinctively finding their way around her. 

Tiffany pretended to be offended, but excused them. ''I'll go find my own man.'' She winked, walking over to where Valtteri was getting ready for the race. 

''Seb said that he wanted to talk about some project he had been working on, and I was thinking that maybe we could go and have drinks with him later tonight? Maybe invite Val and Tiffany as well? I don't know, what do you think?'' 

Y/N took in his words, pretending to deeply think about it while already knowing she would not let that happen. ''A project? Did he say what it is about?'' She asked him, attempting to stretch the time she had to think about how she could politely tell Lewis she did not want to get drinks with the Aston Martin driver. 

''He didn't tell me, he said he would tell me after the race.'' Her partner answered, a slight pout on his face. 

Probably something about his bees. 

The younger woman nodded, a bit confused on why Sebastian wouldn't just tell Lewis. ''That's, uh, too bad.'' She noted. 

''So what do you think? You think it's a good idea?'' Lewis asked once again, looking her in the eyes, wanting her validation that it was a great suggestion. 

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. ''Yeah, it's been a while since we've done something with Val and Tiff alone.'' She realised she had to consider Lewis' feelings and if he wanted to get drinks with his friend, he should be able to, even if she didn't like it. 

''I'll suggest it to him when we're done here today,'' he pulled her closer, kissing her temple, ''I have to get ready now. I love you, darling.'' A peck on the lips and Lewis approached Angela who was keeping hold of his gear. 

The race itself wasn't that eventful beside a podium for Lewis. She proudly watched him with the rest of the Mercedes team as he stood on the second top step, sending him a wink and a flying kiss. 

Afterwards, they met up with each other in his driver's room. ''Mon chéri!'' Y/N embraced him, a strong hold on him. ''I know it's not the result you were hoping for, but I'm proud of you either way.'' She cupped his cheeks, hating the disappointment in his eyes. 

''Thank you, love.'' Lewis gave her a quick peck, knowing she isn't a fan of his sweaty form after his races. ''I still have the debrief with the team, but after that we can go and have those drinks.'' 

''Have you, uh, invited them yet?'' She referred to Sebastian, Valtteri and Tiffany. 

He shook his head. ''No, but I'm gonna ask Val now and I'll ask Seb afterwards.'' 

''That's great.'' She said through gritted teeth. Y/N had a small hope that Lewis had been able to ask Sebastian already, and that the German had cancelled or had come up with a believable excuse as to not having to go. 

Lewis pointed to his changing area. ''I'm gonna get out of this and then I'm on my way, darling.'' His champagne covered racing suit started to give him claustrophobia. 

''Okay,'' she smiled at him, ''you know what? I'm going to take a little walk around the paddock, cause I saw Mark earlier and I didn't have the chance to say hi.'' Y/N used to be a Red Bull athlete for almost ten years, making her an old regular of the Red Bull Racing garage. That's also the place where she became great friends with the Australian driver. 

''That's lovely, I'll text you as soon as I'm done, alright?'' Lewis grinned, delighted to hear she wasn't just going to sit and wait around for him. ''Say hi to Mark from me, darling.'' He winked before disappearing and changing into his Mercedes team wear. 

Y/N swiftly freshened herself up, Lewis and his champagne-smelling sweat still lingering on her body. She grabbed her vintage handbag and was out of the hospitality. 

She definitely underestimated how hard it would be to find Mark Webber in a Formula One paddock. Normally, he was quite easy to find or maybe he was always at the right places at the right time. 

The Frenchwoman grabbed her phone from her bag and searched for the Australian's contact, not planning to look like an idiot while searching for him. 

He didn't make her wait for too long, picking up the call after two rings. ''Hello, you cunt.'' Mark warmly greeted, a teasing tone present in his voice. 

''Where the fuck are you? I've been trying to find you for like the past 10 minutes, did you turn into a ghost or something?'' 

''Oh, you would love for me to haunt you, don't you, Y/N?'' She could hear the smirk on his face. 

Y/N almost snorted at his answer. She would have given him a witty comeback if it wasn't for the German man suddenly blocking her way. ''Uh, Markus, I'll call you right back.'' 

''Why?'' 

''There's a hazard in front of me and I don't know how long it's gonna take before it's fixed.'' She answered with an attitude, looking Sebastian right in the eye. 

The ''hazard'' let out a scoff, her straightforwardness seemed to have grown even more over the years. However, he was impressed by the accuracy of his new nickname. 

Mark chuckled on the other side. ''Alright- well, I'm by the paddock club with David so I'll wait here for you, mate.'' He said his goodbye, seemingly understanding that she was being held up by someone she wasn’t a huge fan of. 

Y/N hung up the phone, placing it in her bag again. She wanted nothing more than to cross her arms and roll her eyes at the man in front of her, but they were in public and she was painfully aware of the eyes on them. 

''I'm only smiling, cause that guy over there has his camera on us and I don't want to go through that again.'' The athlete warned Sebastian, not wanting him to think she was genuinely glad to see him. 

The urge to roll his own eyes had never been bigger. ''I'm really happy to see you too, Miss Y/L.'' 

''I really don't have time for this,'' she sighed, ''what can I tell you that's going to make you leave me alone?'' Her bluntness didn't surprise him, she had never been the one to beat around the bush. 

''I just saw you walking by and thought I might join you, you looked a bit lonely.'' He explained himself, his eyes focusing on hers. 

She momentarily frowned, quickly fixing her micro-expressions. ''We both know that's not a good idea, Sebastian.'' His name rolled off her lips with ease. 

''Why's that?'' He played dumb, he was aware why it wasn't a good idea. 

''You really want to go that route?'' She sarcastically chuckled, a taunting smile on her face. ''Okay. Because us talking to each other like this will bring everything up again and I don't want to open those old wounds again, and I don't think you want that either.'' Y/N spoke calmly, but there was a fire behind her words. 

The driver scratched his voice. ''Y/N, people are much more interested in your relationship with Lewis than they are in anything that has to do with me.'' A lot of time had passed, and Sebastian wanted to be able to talk to his old ''friend'' without being scared of what other people thought of it. 

She was disappointed by his response. ''You really don't get it, do you?'' The athlete shook her head. ''Like I said earlier, I don't have time for this. Now, if you will excuse me- I have somewhere to be.'' 

Y/N moved past him, remembered something. ''Oh, and if Lewis asks you to get drinks with us, you say no. Have a nice evening, Vettel.'' 

Just as in the Mercedes garage, Sebastian watched her leave- not minding that he looked like a lost puppy whose owner left them alone at home. 

''Too bad that Seb couldn't go.'' Lewis said, his eyes on the road and his right hand on her thigh. 

Y/N nodded to his words. ''Yeah… did he, uh, explain what his project was?'' She too had been curious about what the German had been working on. 

''Yeah, yeah! He's, uh, gonna do this t-shirt project to spread awareness about certain topics. For example, LGBTQ+, women in motorsport and all that stuff.'' Lewis summarised, echoing what his friend had explained to him. 

His girlfriend continued her nodding along. ''That's very interesting.'' 

''I know. I love how Seb is coming out of his shell these days- like since last year, he's been really stepping up and taking a stance against injustices. He would have never done this 10-12 years ago when he was with Red Bull.'' The Mercedes driver had always admired Sebastian, but ever since he took the knee with him the previous year in regards to the Black Lives Matter movement, Lewis had found a new level of appreciation for his rival. 

''That's really great, Lu. You seem very happy about it.'' No matter how complicated her and Sebastian's relationship was, she was relieved her partner had someone to stand beside him in the matters that he cared about. 

Lewis smiled at her words. ''I really am, darling.'' 

Upon seeing the genuine thankfulness on his face, guilt spread through her body. Y/N had never explained the true nature of her history with Sebastian to her significant other. Of course there were rumours about it back in the day that Lewis was aware of, but to him they seemed obviously overdramatised. 

She was keen on keeping everything that happened between her and Sebastian in his Red Bull days, in the past- Lewis didn't need to know about it. That was about the only thing both her and the German could agree on at the moment. 

The vibration of her phone barged in on her clouded mind. 

| UNKNOWN NUMBER I didn't mean to be insensitive earlier, I'm sorry. Good luck at Wimbledon, I know you'll do well! Love from Sebastian. 

Y/N had blocked and deleted his phone number years ago, but the 4x World Champion always appeared to always find a way back to her. 

''You're good over there?'' Lewis noticed her instant silence, quite uncharacteristic for her. 

Her head shot towards him. ''Yeah, sorry- something about Wimbledon.'' She mumbled, unsure of what to tell him. 

''Make sure you're there until the second week so I can come and see you play.'' He smirked, taking a glance at her reaction. 

She rolled her eyes at him, making him giggle. ''Great, now I actually have motivation to make it to the second week, not the fact that I have a title to defend.'' Y/N sarcastically thanked him. 

The tennis player had won the tournament three years in a row now, the 2020 edition being cancelled due to the covid pandemic. There was a lot of pressure on her to win the championship again, being one of the top players. 

''I know you're gonna win.'' Lewis stated, matter-of-factly. 

Y/N sighed. ''Don't say that, you know unpredictable these tournaments are, especially on grass.'' She appreciated her partner's confidence in her, but her own over-confidence had bitten her in the ass a few times in the past. 

''I'm sorry, darling. You know you're my number one, you're always the winner to me.'' He squeezed her thigh, caressing it right after. 

The side of her head rested against her chair, an appreciative look in her eyes. ''Merci, mon cher.'' She gave him a slow wink, one that her boyfriend imitated. ''You're welcome, love.'' 

''It doesn't happen that often that I replace Serena as number one, you know? So I'm gonna enjoy this moment.'' She teased, resulting in a pinch to her side from Lewis. 

''Don't you dare tell her, she'll kill me.'' 

''I'm definitely telling her.''

''Yeah, I know.''

taglist :: @dannyramirezwife @luligirl_ @mistrose23 @azxulaa @develised @princesselle2111 @topguncultleader @poppyalice2001 @komorebi21

[kneelingshadowsalome]

the post about konig and tatoos got me thinking how would he react with his girl doing a full body waxing, since someone else needs to literally see all her body and """touch""" her to do that, and imagine if it's a man 😭

Just imagine König marching to the beauty salon (people are screaming) then simply barging in to the room where this guy trying to give you a wax oh my God 🥲

Unfortunately, that's not going to happen. König won't let you do whatever you want – not without checking the details first. Also: no male gynecologists. Like, none, EVER. (Lol what's wrong with this guy)

But....

now I'm thinking about König's reaction when you come home after a full body wax 👀 done by some innocent woman of course, someone who's a professional & would never have nasty thoughts and intentions towards you 💕

CW: Cunnilingus, edging, overall shameless behavior 18+

König is so, so curious. Of course he wants to inspect you!

He likes his women soft, but let's be honest: this man is happy with whatever you give him. He adores you and worships your body, waxed or not. He would never force you into such a thing (actually, he'd be happiest if you never left home...)

But now that you're suddenly even softer than usual – wait, you're silky smooth all over?? König just can't stop running his hands over your thighs, he can't stop staring at what's between your legs. Actually, he's admiring the view like it's the first time he's laid eyes on a woman.

And yep. He simply has to have a taste.

Long, savoured licks and starved moans ensue as he goes down to enjoy your silk. Better grab something sturdy to hold on to (yeah, why not him?) because this dude is not leaving his favorite place in a while. He will edge and edge and edge you until you cry and beg, because he loves seeing you like this: spread wide open, sweet and bare and so wet that the audible evidence of his treatment is downright sloppy.

Usually, he's a bit more rough, the constant high libido of this man making the sex a sweaty, needy business. But now... Now, he takes his sweet time. He's a different man, sampling you like you're the best cuisine he's ever tried.

You can trash on the bed, you can try to tug at his hair when he drives you to the edge but not over it. You can cry and whine and sob but he's not going to budge. Just when you open your mouth and say you're about to lose your mind, König gives you a sudden, straightforward compliment.

"I like this," he sighs on your pussy with his hand down his pants. And you shouldn't be surprised that he's stroking himself while lapping you. Guy hasn't even bothered to take his cock out – apparently, he's perfectly happy with the prospect of cumming inside his camos like the filthy dog that he is.

"So soft," he gives you another starved lick, "and wet…"

"König... Mh, I can't take it anymore," you moan and gasp on the sheets, your voice so needy and pathetic it could easily be mistaken for a sob.

"No? But I can," he rasps and continues the torment.

You're starting to think that the waxing was a terrible mistake. He's being mean, and for what? Just because you happen to look nice and feel soft.

Actually, König is the meanest man you know, always teasing and torturing you, always making your life hard and your pussy wet. The worst thing is that you can feel the stupid grin spreading on his lips.

"Look at you, little one... Am I being too mean?" He asks as if he can read minds as well. You don't know if the compassion in his voice is real or feigned, but he won't let you linger on that thought for too long. No: your attention falls back to the hot, determined mouth making love to you. His lips seal around your clit, and give you another soft, ample suck.

"Fu–ck," you whisper helplessly in the air.

A mistake... A big mistake.

König stops, now genuinely shocked.

"Such filth from my angel's mouth... Where have you learned words like that?"

"König, don't be ridicu—"

"I can't let you cum yet."

His declaration makes you want to scream. But you know better than that... There's nothing you can do but try to suppress the tears as he goes down on you once more, ensuring you get some more but never enough. You promise him you will never swear again, you babble and plead, but it's no use. König makes you promise it twice. Thrice.

By the time he finally does end your torture, your whole body is a quivering, overstimulated mess. You cum, wave after wave, riding on his tongue like there's nothing else in this world. You're pretty sure some of your brain cells have died during his treatment.

Yes, the waxing was either a terrible mistake or the most brilliant idea you've ever had... You can't really decide in your state of brainless euphoria. What you do know, however, is that König is a huge hypocrite: he always has to ruin the things he views as sweet and innocent and pretty. You're a mess, but not mess enough for him.

He cums on your poor, bare pussy with a few anxious faps – you can do nothing but lie there like a helpless maiden as the hot load lands on your soft skin and trickles over your sensitive clit.

It's downright laughable how he gathers you in his arms after such a shameless, greedy session. He even has the audacity to coo loving nonsense in your ear. He does all kinds of sweet things except clean you up.

When you whine about it, he says he will give his "sweet angel" a wash soon – no doubt wanting to carry you to the bathroom, bridal style, like the perfect gentleman.

[eroslove88]

"She only wanted to lie beside him"

Pairing: Yan. Kenma x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Stalking, kidnapping, bondage, noncon touching and noncon implied

Note: WOAH!!! I POST 2 TIMES IN A WEEK. WILD!!! Uhm yeah, this is a guilty pleasure fic.

Turning on your computer you feel a bit... dumb? It feels useless to even message him- but yet here you are. Kenma messaged you, and that's not out of the ordinary. Actually it's pretty normal, it's been normal for like 6-7 months.

You got close to him because he was in a server with a mutual friend. He goes to your high school and growing up the most you said to him was something about project years ago. Senior year- you thought that this would be the year where you'd come out of your shell but that never happened. Anxiety crashed that thought early on. When you got on a daily routine of texting Kenma you thought he'd actually want to befriend you, but that's not what happened. Long late night conversations and not a word said to each other in real life. It doesn't help that you two walk the same way home either...

Maybe you wouldn't have cared so much if you didn't have a small crush on him.

'hey did we hv hw' your computer gets a notification, Kenma. You sigh and type back, 'Yeah, the insert for this lesson.' you see that he's typing but he stops and doesn't respond until about 5 minutes later- despite being online. '👍' you couldn't help but roll your eyes and just sigh.

None the less he was an ok dude, he had offered to gift you things, games & chocolates- all of which you declined. You didn't want to feel materialistic and greedy.

'do you wanna play gungeon' you put your jacket on and replied quickly, 'Sorry, I'm going for a walk. I can play in an hour though!' you patiently waited and he replied quickly. 'k' huffing you closed your laptop, charging it before you left.

During the winter, the sun went down faster than usual. So around 7ish the streets were empty for walkers except for the occasional dog walkers.

The sound of quiet foot steps penetrated your mind. Snapping your head around you're faced with empty streets, probably paranoia you thought. You turned your music up walking down your usual route.

Even with the music playing you couldn't help but hear footsteps everywhere. You weren't so far from the park... just 3 more blocks.

The feeling of being watched burns your neck, you really should've turned around. Pounding footsteps come running towards you but you were too late. Your screams were demoted to tiny whimpers as you weakly try grasping the needle in your neck.

You were freezing, your arms and legs were duct taped together. It was a pretty lazy job, but whatever kind of tape it was was pretty fucking strong. Your vision was blurred with tears and you whimper into your gag and curled into yourself seeming to have missed the boy sitting at the desk across the room.

It wasn't until you heard the creaking of the chair and light footsteps that you felt panic. Your eyes remained closed even when he was right by your face.

The bed dipped down, "Don't worry, I won't hurt you" a small crying noise comes out from your gag as you try to beg him to stay away. He shushed you coming closer but all you could do was shake your head and try to move away, "Hey, it's ok" he spoke to you like a stray kitten as he slowly approached your trembling body, "Sh... It's only me" you knew that. But that didn't stop you from squirming in his arm as you tried pushing him away. He tisked at your pitiful attempt, " 'm really sorry for not approaching you" he mumbles kissing your head. "I knew you were lonely..." he chuckles, "But that honestly made things even easier" he let's you go and stands up. "I've been waiting a while to do this you know" he pulls out a black box. He opened it and paused "I've always been curious to see how your pretty face would look with a full pussy" he pulls out 3 big dildos, "and ass" he smirks pulling out a condom. "2 v. 2?"

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

First Date

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: none at all fr fr except idk first date jitters???

Genre: fluff central

Summary: Your first real date with your former fake boyfriend; "I'm just scared of what you think // You make me nervous so I really can't eat" ~ First Date by Blink 182

A/N: This is technically part 2 to Nervous but order is arbitrary fr

***

The following Friday Bucky is at your apartment just before 7 o'clock trying to convince himself to knock on your door. He knows he has to because you otherwise won't come out and that would be awful because even if every muscle in his body is tensing up at the thought of this actually happening he does really want to take you out. The only problem is that standing in your hallway it feels like a dream he had long given up on is coming to fruition and he's starting to wonder if maybe he's not ready for this. It's too late for that now though, he's meant to pick you up in 2 minutes and he'd rather lose his other arm than upset you by canceling last minute no matter how anxious he is.

"If she didn't want this. She wouldn't have agreed." Bucky tells himself, steeling his nerves. He raises his fist and raps on the door far more confidently than he's feeling at 6:59:37. He knows because he checked his watch. Barely a minute goes by before you swing open the door with a soft smile.

"You're right on time. Hi Bucky." You say. Bucky freezes up as he takes you in. You're wearing a crop top and faux leather pants with a matching jacket. Bucky told you casual dress was fine so you wanted something cute but practical. Bucky can feel his brain short circuit as he looks at you. Just compliment her! 

"Punctuality- matters. We should get going." He says instead of anything charming. The sentences come out chopping and strained and he almost outwardly cringes at himself.

"Alright, well lead the way James." You say, pointedly ignoring the tense undertone in his words. You're not sure what that was about but you can't imagine drawing attention to it will help. Bucky nods and walks you down to his car where he opens your door and lets you in before he jogs over to the driver seat and slides in. It only takes another moment before he's pulling out of your parking lot and cruising down the streets.

The ride there is pretty quiet, which is fine. You're trying to guess where he's taking you anyway because he refuses to tell you. It's not until you see the big neon sign as he turns into a parking lot that you finally crack it though and you can't help but chuckle quietly as he parks the car. It's been such a long time since you've been to one of these.

"Bowling?" You smile at him.

"I've heard how boring you find regular dinner dates." Bucky shrugs. It's true you much prefer activity dates, but you're curious how he'd know that already. He gets out of the car and rushes over to your side to open the door for you. The two of you head inside and get set up with a lane and a pair of bowling shoes. You both are quick to grab bowling balls and start the game. You're always down for some friendly competition and honestly, it'll be nice to do something you haven't in a while.

A few rounds in though makes you painfully aware of how little Bucky has said since picking you up and it's starting to get to you. If you get excited over a strike or point out the score he'll offer a little smile and maybe a couple of words but he's not actually conversing with you. When you commend a particularly good round on his end he just nods a 'thanks'. Not to mention he's hardly looking at you which isn't a big deal exactly but in combination with the lack of talking it feels very awkward. Especially for a first date. Who bowls in silence?! About halfway through, you stand up before Bucky takes his roll.

"I'm going to get some food. Do you want anything?" You ask him.

"Oh! Let me get it. What do you want?" Bucky puts down his bowling ball and jogs over to his jacket draped over one of the chairs.

"A slice of pizza and some lemonade." You say.

"On it." He nods dropping the jacket and walking over to the food counter. You sigh to yourself as you plop back in your seat to wait for him. You can't understand why he's being so quiet but this date really can't continue this way. When Bucky returns with your food and drink he hands them to you quickly. You barely mutter thank you before he goes back to his jacket, presumably to put his wallet back in the pocket he fished it out from.

"You know Bucky, you've barely said anything to me all night. I've been on some pretty awkward first dates before but never ones where my date avoids looking at me." You stand and walk over to where Bucky is now lining up his roll.

"I'm not avoiding looking at you." Bucky says. 

"If this has been your idea of being present with a date you are more out of touch than I thought James." You muse. Bucky sighs and turns to you, finally looking at you properly. He's silent for a moment, just looking at you before he speaks again.

"You know when you talk to people you look at them so intently. It's like you could uncover their every secret in the time it takes them to finish whatever sentence they're saying."

"Is that why you wouldn't look at me?" You ask.

"I'm already terrified of saying the wrong thing. When I look at you it feels as though you can hear my every nervous thought. As if you'll-" Bucky's words seem to get stuck in his throat as his brows knit together.

"As if I'll what?" You prompt.

"Be able to see me the way I see myself." He mutters.

"You- don't want me to see you the way you see yourself?" You frown.

"It wouldn't end well if you did." He shakes his head.

"Well, why don't you let me decide how I see you? And in the meantime, you should just- be yourself. Trust me you're way worse off if you don't speak to me the entire night than whatever you're so scared of." You tell him. "Right now your worst crime is sucking at bowling."

"Hey! I'm doin pretty well."

"I mean I'm beating you pretty bad so-" you walk back over to your seat where you'd left your pizza.

"You're distracting." He mutters.

"I'm distracting?! You've been avoiding me in all ways but physical Bucky. How could I possibly be distracting?" You ask.

"How many times are you going to make me say how nervous you make me?"

"I dunno, how many times would it take for you to stop being so nervous?"

"More than is reasonable for you to say."

"You'd be surprised how far I'm willing to go actually." You tell him, taking a bite of your pizza. "I just want you to relax Bucky." You say before you drop your pizza plate back on the chair.

"Easier said than done." He muses.

"I'm sure. I mean up until a week ago I thought you hated me- so there's a learning curve for us both. But you can't expect me to not get to know you. We're on a date I mean-"

"I know." He mutters quietly, though you can't hear him as you keep rambling.

"Dates typically involve a lot of getting to know people. You're lucky we're not complete strangers-"

"I know." He tries again but you're still going.

"Otherwise I wouldn't even bother with this I would just never see you again but I like you and I want this to go somewhere but you have to try, and sometimes that's gonna mean stepping out of your comfort zone and if you can't do that-" Bucky grabs you by your shoulders and yanks you towards him until your bodies are flush, his head tilting down and connecting your lips. Your eyes widen for a moment before closing, surrendering to his kiss. It's strong, unyielding, so much like him and finally, for the first time since you got here you get a glimpse of the man you're familiar with. When he pulls away your eyes flutter open.

"I know, y/n. You're right. I'm sorry for being so awkward." Bucky says and you shake your head.

"You don't have to apologize. I just want tonight to go well." You say softly.

"So do I! So much so that I-"

"That you're too scared to talk to me?" You chuckle.

"It- sounds silly when you put it like that." He muses.

"It's okay. As frustrating as the silence is I think it's cute that you're so..."

"Insecure?" He scoffs.

"I was going to say shy." You roll your eyes with a laugh. "I don't think it's insecure to care about what you say to a date, but I do think you worry far too much. You're not under evaluation." You say.

"I'll- try to relax." He says.

"Great, now hurry up and roll your ball so I can wipe the floor with your cute ass." You smile.

"Oh-ho-ho don't get too confident there sweetness. Relaxing means I'm definitely going to beat you." Bucky says.

"I mean you can tryyyyy but I'd keep those expectations low if I were you. I'm currently doing way better than you."

"We're barely halfway through the game, you're counting your chickens too soon." He smiles sweetly.

"You're talking a lot for someone who still hasn't finished his turn." You shrug. Bucky shoots you an incredulous look that has you laughing as he walks over to the lane to roll for his turn. Now, if you can keep him this relaxed for the rest of the night then this date is going to be every bit as amazing as you could hope for. Even on the off chance he beats you at bowling.

***

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 86

do any of yall ever have like. an Evil infodump? where instead of endlessly word vomiting about a thing you love and are very informed about, there is a thing you are equally well-informed about but hate with a passion that you cannot hold back in conversation?

i do :')

(I'll put it under the cut for the curious because I think it's important and i cannot be stopped but also i'm not kidding the facts are infuriating)

SO. "Homeopathic" is often interpreted as sort of a vague synonym for "natural," or "organic," but it's actually related to a system of alternative medicine that means something Very Specific.

There are two main principles behind the practice of Homeopathy.

"Like cures like." This is the idea that, for example, if you have a headache, taking a veeeery small amount of a substance that is known to CAUSE headaches will cure that symptom. I understand where people fall into this flawed idea, as it sounds very similar to the principles behind, say, vaccines, or antivenom. But it isn't universally applicable in this way. An herb isn't a virus. But even if it was, a Homeopathic preparation of that herb would not have any effect on the body because of the second principle.

"Water has memory." This is the idea that water is able to "remember" any substance that it has had contact with. This is also not true. Molecules don't really have any way to store information like that, and even if they did, well... What would that information do inside our bodies? Would our cells have any way to interpret and process that information? What would they do with it? It's all rather nebulous and it seems like more of a spiritual claim than a scientific one. Which is fine, but is not medicine.

So, with these principles in mind, the process of creating a "Homeopathic Preparation of [insert substance here]" goes a little something like this: You take a dropper and put one drop of your active substance in a container with a hundred drops of water. You then take a drop of that mixture, and put it in another container with another hundred drops of water. You continue this dilution process until there is, quite literally, a near-zero percent chance that your mixture contains even a single molecule of your original active substance (depending on the level of dilution believed to be best for the substance in question. Typically, a higher dilution is considered more potent.) So it is, by this point, literally just a vial of water.

This vial of water is what is then sold as a "Homeopathic preparation of [substance]." OR that water is used to compound a batch of sugar pills, or gel capsules, or tablets, whatever format is being offered. Regardless, the composition of the tincture is literally just water and ~*vibes*~.

And they sell these vials of expensive vibe water! At!!!

THE PHARMACY!!! WITH LIKE THE IBUPROFEN AND ALL THE OTHER REAL MEDICINES!!! AND NO BIG WARNING LABELS THAT SAY, "THIS CONTAINS NO ACTIVE INGREDIENTS AND IS BASED ON VIBES ALONE," OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!

In fact! In the US they are able to advertise that they have been FDA approved! (FDA approval of dietary supplements is not the same as FDA approval of actual medications. In the context of supplements, approval just means they've proved it won't just kill you straight up, and thus you're allowed to sell it.) And, well. It certainly won't kill you! In fact they often also advertise things like, "It's natural!" and "No harmful side effects!" and "No risk of overdose!" and it's all technically true! BECAUSE IT'S JUST WATER! LIKE I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH HOW IT'S LITERALLY JUST WATER!!!

Anyway. Please keep this in mind the next time you are offered a homeopathic remedy, or see one advertised in the store, or hear your antivaxxer auntie bragging about the fact that her kids all got a "homeopathic" alternative to their MMR shots.

IT'S! JUST! VIBE WATER!!!!

[theminecraftbee]

Yooo, have you watched Iskall's decked out runs yet? If no ig vague spoiler warning, don't read on, if yes:

I think his movement is super fascinating compared to anyone else I've seen (and I've seen a lot) bc like, he's genuinely moving about as if he's looting a vault. He's always moving forward to keep ahead of danger, herds ravagers with relative ease and he's kinda just scanning rooms for anything interesting as he's going.

And sure, the speedrunning thing he's doing isn't the ideal approach for the game, but that's also partially due to him not quite getting all the mechanics yet. Once he's got those down he's going to be a real contender for top position. He's got a huge advantage in mechanical skill, which is clear in how actually collecting the treasure doesn't srem to be an issue at all. And tbh while the slow and steady approach might be better for the difficulty people are running right now, you can already see that some people are failing runs on floor 2 due to taking to long to get there and thus having high clank and hazard, so especially by the time we get to floors 3 and 4, the extreme speed with which he moves through the dungeon is gonna be huge.

Sorry for the mini essay but i just think it's super cool how you can just see the vault hunters movement here and how surprisingly *different* it is

i just started watching and. oh my god you are SO CORRECT he moves EXACTLY like he's in a vault. it's WILD. and actually i was starting to think (for my own eventual playthroughs) "oh how i move through vaults probably isn't good for decked out". but it appears to actually work REALLY WELL ACTUALLY??? it's not great for picking up treasure/frost embers, but he makes up for it by barely being afraid of the ravagers at all and just... moving so CLEANLY. he just gets through the dungeon SO FAST it's impressive. i'm so curious to see where that goes!

[wolfiesmoon]

Chip bag

Itadori x fem!reader

So today on the train ride home me and my classmates were talking about boys...

(This is inspired by real life events in case u couldnt tell lmaooo)

"How did you guys meet?" Your friend asked your classmate sat across from you. You reached into your bag of chips absentmindedly, also curious to hear her story.

"Me and my boyfriend met for the first time at the park. Sometimes I go biking there, you see. He saw me one day and really wanted to ask for my number." She started, your friend and another classmate nodding along. "He ended up getting scared and not doing it, but he waited in the park every day, hoping I would show up again until I did!" your classmates made an "awww" noise at her little story.

"How about yours?" She passed on the question to her friend. "Ohhh, you guys know that summer camp that everyone here goes to?" everyone nodded along again, your chip bag making a crumpling noise as you pulled out another chip.

"I met him there, basically. What about you?" She asked your friend, sat next to you. "Oh, we started talking over social media because we had mutual friends and it kind of evolved from there."

You couldn't really add much to the conversation, considering you have no boyfriend, but if there's one thing you can say...

"Hey, why don't you guys set me up with someone?" You said jokingly, nudging your friend's shoulder. "Hahah, I can do that easily." Your friend smiled back at you.

"But, then again..." you took out another chip, "I kind of want to just, meet someone on my own, I guess. Like you know how in those romantic comedies, they bump into eachother and then it all escalates from there? Like that."

"How often does that actually happen to people, though?" The girl sat across you questioned. You shrugged, smiling to yourself.

The conversation continued, with you listening in, when suddenly-

"Hey, can I have one, please?" You were surprised to hear a guy's voice by your side, looking up from your seat to get a better look at him.

He had salmon colored hair and two strange creases under his wide brown eyes. You immediately got the vibe of "cheerful, approachable guy" from him.

"Ah, oh, sure." You realise you were probably staring at him for a little too long, raising your bag higher so he can take out a few chips. He did so, thanking you and going back to his seat, where two people wearing the same uniform were waiting for him.

Huh, must be his classmates.

Wait, why are you even still looking at him? You quickly look away to find your classmates trying to supress their giggles. "What...?" You ask, slightly confused.

"Hahaha, speaking of romantic comedy encounters..." one of them half-whispered. Oh. Oh.

"Imagine your kids ask you "Hey mom, how did you meet dad?" And then you just say "He asked me for chips one time", hahahah..." another added.

"Hey, we're basically strangers, don't marry us and give us kids in your head." You scolded, crossing your arms. But you couldn't lie, even though you barely exchanged any words, he did have a charm about him. You glanced at him again, thinking about what just happened.

"So, the math professor freaking LOST it." You snapped out of it, putting your focus back on your classmates. Your classmates have already stopped giggling by now, moving on to the next daily topic.

You tried not to keep looking to him, secretly hoping that this might not be your first and final interaction.

.

"You couldn't ask her for her number, could you?" Nobara crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at Yuuji's defeated expression.

He simply shook his head no. "This is exactly why you can't get a girlfriend." Nobara huffed, looking out the window.

"Listen, you'll get another chance, you'll meet her again soon enough. I'm only saying this so you won't be all sad and heartbroken on our mission, by the way." Megumi leaned on his palm, sighing.

"Just say you care, you idiot." Nobara also sighed.

"I hope I do meet her again." He said after a bit of silence, glancing back at you as you stood at the train doors, about to exit on your stop.

Hopefully you go on this train every day.

[total-drama-brainrot]

TD World Tour Alenoah AU... Where Noah is immune to Alejandro's fake charm... Instead, Noah gets charmed by the true Alejandro's quirks and dorky interests like dinosaurs and puppets... How would Alejandro feel about Noah only liking Alejandro, when Alejandro is being himself?... Especially since Alejandro's family shuns him for being himself? 🦕🦖🦕

Now you're speaking my language.

One of the most common running themes in all/near enough all Alenoah central AUs is having Noah be the first person to see past Alejandro's persona and actually appreciate the person he is, or at the very least prefer the real Alejandro to his mask of perfection. It's one of the draws of the ship itself; the idea that Noah, being the blunt person that he is, can and will wage a war of attrition against the walls Alejandro has built up around himself- not just to keep others out, but also to repress the more authentic aspects of himself to himself- in order to reveal the person beneath.

I touched on this a little bit in a previous post concerning this AU, but Alejandro and Noah both see glimpses of the other that they try so valiantly to hide- in Noah's case, Alejandro sees hints of the scheming mindset he's pretty much supressed under layers of apathy and sloth (as Noah's laziness is one of his biggest character foils, alongside his snarky attitude), and in Alejandro's case he reveals tid bits of information about the Real Alejandro, not the persona he's usually portraying himself as, which is enough to humanise him in Noah's eyes.

They both become People Of Interest in each other's eyes, because they're both puzzles to be solved. Alejandro's curious and competitive to a fault so he'd dedicate himself to unravelling the layers behind Noah's stony exterior, as he'd see Noah's continued distance as a challenge. That's a given. But the topic at hand here is Noah's interest in Alejandro.

Because Noah's not exactly competitive, so why would he be so interested in unveiling the real Alejandro? That's simple; Noah values authenticity. Look at his friendship group, it consists of people who are unapologetically themselves. Noah is also unapologetically himself, in all of his sarcastic glory. So of course he's see flickers of the real, authentic Alejandro and his natural inquisitiveness would be piqued- a novelty for him, as Noah's staunch apathy generally tends to override any semblance of curiosity.

So Noah goes out of his way to make notes of the small interests Alejandro offhandedly mentions at one point or another, like palaeontology or puppetry or even his fifteen-step skincare routine- things that Alejandro shows genuine excitement or passion over that shines through the cracks of his perfect persona. He sees the dorky giddiness Alejandro experiences when Noah lets him ramble on about how Jurassic Park was incredibly inaccurate from a scientific standpoint but monumental for people's interest in palaeontology (or something along those lines, I don't know I'm not a dinosaur nerd) and suddenly the annoyingly flirtatious faker he's spent the better half of his time on the jet is A Whole Ass Person with interests and passions and a sense of depth he's been so bereft of until now. Suddenly Alejandro's more than just the antagonist of the show Noah's working on, he's an interesting person that the bookworm finds himself wanting to know more about. And, perhaps, he finds himself growing genuinely fond of the person behind the mask.

And he uses those notes to prompt Alejandro into sharing more of himself, the real authentic Alejandro, in the privacy of their interactions.

At first, Alejandro's fairly oblivious to what Noah's doing, since he's so caught up in his own enjoyment of Noah's company plans to essentially do the same to Noah that he barely notices his own tricks being used against him.

Of course, he's also just elated at being able to infodump to someone who isn't outright penalising him for doing so; not that I think Alejandro is even aware that what he's doing is infodumping, nor the fact that he's so obviously autistic, because his family is a particular brand of awful that would never let him get a proper diagnoses and in all likelihood forced him to mask/supress his symptoms.

It isn't until Alejandro realises that he's shared a lot of information about himself that he (as a Burromuerto) is expected to keep close to his chest, and he sees the glimmers of satisfaction in Noah's intelligent eyes, that the archvillain catches on to the fact that he's been played. But the thing that really catches him off-guard isn't the trickery, it's the fact that Noah's done nothing with the uncharacteristic displays of vulnerability.

Alejandro can't understand why Noah hasn't taken advantage of his "weakness" yet. Inevitably leading to him confronting the assistant, as Alejandro isn't the type to "let sleeping dogs lie" so to speak, and he's still very much so in the one-track mindset of winning the competition- thus he assumes that any show of vulnerability can and will lead to his untimely elimination. But when he practically demands that Noah reveal what he's been planning, why he's been sneakily collecting information on him, all Noah can do is shrug his shoulders and say;

"I guess I just like seeing the real you. That's all."

And Alejandro doesn't know how to respond to that. No one's ever wanted the real him, he's always had to play the role of the perfect son, the perfect brother. He doesn't understand.

And like most people when they're faced with a foreign concept they have no basis of behaviour for, he lashes out.