#i'm not sure what i think of this tbh

[zeldahime]

Highway to Pail Day 13

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February 13: How do you turn a demon into an angel? Scare the hell out of them.

If you asked if Crowley feared Hell, he'd figure you were an evangelical Christian and give you the fright of your life by saying something like "Hell? Hell is empty. All the devils are here," then turning his head into a snake. Yes, Crowley knew that line was from one of Boring Bill's plays and not even a funny one, but he'd told Aziraphale he'd fed Bill that line in a bar in 1610 and had stuck to that story ever since. (Aziraphale knew better, because dear old William had tested that line on him in 1607, but he also thought Crowley was ever so charming when he was lying and so had never called him on it.)

If Aziraphale had asked him, Crowley would tell him he really wasn't that scared of Hell, honestly. Not to say he enjoyed the place, but you knew what to expect from them, knew where you stood. He knew how they monitored him and that they didn't usually bother with it; he knew more or less what punishments which Dukes and Princes liked to inflict on their underlings and how best to avoid them. He'd tell Aziraphale, honestly he'd been more scared in Heaven towards the end there, watching his friends Fall and suddenly knowing Her love was conditional, and he'd know Aziraphale would understand the depth of that fear because Aziraphale had watched him Fall. It would be meant as a reassurance. Aziraphale, who had been fearful in Heaven long before the Fall and the War and to whom the Fall was actually a perverse relief—so he hadn't been worried about nothing, so his anxiety was rational—would not be reassured.

Crowley would be lying, but don't hold it against him: he wouldn't realize it, which is the scariest part.

In reality, he was terrified of Hell.

He'd been scared of Hell for so long it formed the foundation for most of his actions and thoughts, and much like you don't ever think about what kind of foundation your house is built on, Crowley just didn't think about it very much. For example: he kept an insurance policy because Hell was dog-eat-dog, or demon-eat-demon, and anyone who caught him with Aziraphale would come after them like that Frou-Frou guy had and he needed a way to defend himself. Clear, logical, no emotions involved in this reasoning really as far as he was concerned. He did not follow this train of motivations any further. If he'd gotten off just one stop further down the line, he'd have noticed that the reason he needed a way to defend himself was because punishment is unpleasant and he didn't want to deal with that, and another stop might have suggested, so, one of your motivations here, if you'd please let me finish speaking sir, might be fear of punishment?

Crowley rarely took trains of thought all the way to the end of the line, and so very rarely did he ever actually think about being scared. He sometimes considered how much things would hurt if he got caught, weighed it in a pros and cons list, but never connected that thought to fear of getting caught.

The lead-up to the Apocalypse was different. Things he didn't even know he could be scared of kept popping up, like a really unpleasant random jack-in-the-box. He was scared when Warlock was little and threw a fit, certain he'd say something like "I hate you Nanny! I wish you'd never existed!" and he'd be wiped from reality. He was scared when he was waiting for a hellhound at a birthday party and scared when it no-showed.

He was scared when he saw the bookshop on fire, no Aziraphale in sight. He had never even thought of the possibility of the bookshop catching on fire, not really. It'd been a joke, calling the place a fire hazard or a death trap to rile Aziraphale up a bit when he was tipsy. He'd known down to his bones that Aziraphale would never let his books burn.

It wasn't until the night after the first day of the rest of their lives that Crowley realized just how scared he was, and as soon as he realized he'd had that thought, he'd buried it as deeply as he could.

Because that night, he'd dreamed of Heaven for the first time.

Maybe it was because of the switcheroo they'd pulled, going up to Heaven in Aziraphale's corporation. Maybe it triggered some memories, or something. Heaven yesterday hadn't been anything like Heaven had been Before. Before, it had been full of warmth, and other angels, and the Light of God, not a cold empty office space ripped directly from a skyscraper in New Jersey. He'd spent most of his time in the firmament back then, but he'd thought of Heaven as home, a safe place to come back to, where he could talk to his pals and play games and rest. It had already begun shifting away from that long before the Fall, of course, but it had gotten so much worse since.

On the very first night of the rest of his life, Crowley's dream was his earliest memory. God had called his Name, the one he'd have ripped away from him when he Fell, and he had sprung into existence with Love in his heart. Another angel had called to him and told him about stars and nebulae and the Grand Design and Crowley had Loved them, in awe of these things they described. It was so simple. He dreamed of other times in the Before, conversations with other angels about what if we did it this way, or changed that. A conversation where he wondered why the stars would be so far away from the humans, why they would be extinguished so soon when they could burn for billions upon billions of years. He remembered curiosity, friendship, play, all free and unfiltered and simple.

He remembered the first time he felt fear, when Lucifer said that other angels disagreed with them and there was going to be a fight, and explained what a fight was.

And then he woke up, and he realized he was deeply afraid, and had been for most of his existence. This was very unpleasant, and changed absolutely nothing except making him skittish at exactly the time he could most benefit from the habitual recklessness he'd begun to nourish over the last few centuries.

It didn't even change what he'd tell Aziraphale if Aziraphale had asked the question, as described above, because whether or not he was telling the truth was pretty much unimportant, he'd think; the important part would be reassuring Aziraphale, since the angel was much more emotionally fragile that he was.

Aziraphale had known all along, of course, which is why he'd never asked. Some things were best left unaddressed, in his opinion. Crowley seemed to have it well in hand, dealing with his eternal fear in a healthier way than Aziraphale's own anxious paranoia, so often overcoming it to be braver than Aziraphale could ever be.

They were, of course, both totally wrong.

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

[sualne]

your body isn't your own

[fluentisonus]

[demaparbat-hp]

Zuko was a child when he met Agni. Then, the spirits started coming to him. Eyes hidden in the hallways, voices pleading for help, for recognition, for remembrance.

Zuko could see Agni. He could see the broken remains of a Great Spirit and the empty smiles of amnesiac ghosts.

And they could see him in return.

[eyes-of-nine]

truly what a guy

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[knownoshamc]

I'm sorry but the concept that overstressed Izzy that looked like he was at the verge of his fifth anxiety breakdown in a week, is somehow a lying manipulative mastermind, is simply hilarious to me.

[cerealbishh]

"You really care about me."

"Yeah. I really, really care about you."

"I- I really care about you too."

"No, but... I like, really, really care about you."

[fallstaticexit]

Pretty sure Sister Agnes works for Tumblr because I got flagged for two girls kissing?? Good thing I made a Pillowfort because umm...they are not going to like Part III of The Art of Being Seen.

[deoidesign]

Hi, how did you learn to draw Steve's physique?

Ohh what a complicated thing to answer...

When it comes to how I learned to draw anything, it's hard to say anything too specific since it's always a culmination of many years of assorted study and practice... but I can try to do my best to explain some of the biggest things that helped me learn, some tips I keep in mind, and maybe at least some places to start/delve further.

(just a little disclaimer it's not like my drawings here are going to be 100% medically accurate.. they're just to illustrate concepts!)

The main thing about learning various physiques is understanding anatomy. Which feels obvious, but I don't mean proportions; these are important, but perhaps more important is understanding the skeleton and how it moves and learning where muscles connect to bones and where fat grows on the body. When you understand how these function on a more mechanical level, depicting form and movement in a way that feels natural comes in tow.

For instance, understanding things like the pronation and supination of the radius and ulna, as well as the fact that muscles can ONLY contract or relax, will help you understand a bit better which muscles will be flexed and which will not while someone moves. It's inherent to the positioning based on the structural makeup of the body... It's not like you NEED to memorize all the muscles and bones, of course, but understanding and gaining at least a passive familiarity with the concepts really helps.

In tandem with this concept is the way parts of the body flow into eachother. Muscles ALWAYS come in groups because they can only contract. Whatever muscle is there to lift something, there is a muscle on the other side to pull that bone back down. What this results in is a series of straight edges next to curves, which gives us a lot of really lovely "s curves" and dents and folds and so on and so forth just naturally occurring.

I would suggest at least learning the "bony landmarks", which are bones (usually) visible on the surface of the body. things like the iliac crest, the great trochanter, the 7th vertabrae, the acromion process... These can be used to help you understand the parts of the body as angles and relationships, rather than trying to remember lengths and sizes, which vary immensely... (since you asked about steve, he can be our model... also study these on your own don't just take my word for it haha, these are the ones I personally keep in mind)

I've done the same thing with body hair... learning where it grows and in which directions... It helps me make up variations without needing reference, because I have a set of rules I can follow.

The biggest thing that helped me understand all this on a much deeper level was my ecorche course. I sculpted this guy. We started by sculpting the entire skeleton to understand the bones, and then we added muscles on top. Not every single muscle, of course, but the "artistic muscles" AKA the ones which directly affect the surface of the body. Doing this let us see where muscles connect, because we would make a shape, put it on the bone where it actually goes, and then you get to see how other muscles overlap that.

This helped me, perhaps, more than anything else. But I also didn't just start with this course, I had been drawing for years before I even took it. I had been in school for years before I took it. Not that I think it wouldn't be helpful to someone just starting out, but I do think that the more you know going in, the better an in-depth course like this will help you and stick with you. Classes are also expensive, though so I'm not really like... recommending you pay potentially thousands of dollars to take one... But it did help me a lot, personally.

I also, of course, have done many figure, gesture, and master studies...

These just help you quickly gain a stronger understanding of generalized anatomy, and gives you real life examples of and practice with of how people move and balance.

What all this does when combined, is gives me a very solid ability to depict movement and form in a way that feels relatively natural from my subconscious without the need for reference.

The rest of how I've learned to draw his physique is honestly mostly just stylization. I understand the body, and this is how I am depicting it for his level of musculature.

And as I move into depicting him in other ways, either moving in comics or in animation, realistically rendered, or extra stylized, these concepts inform every step of that process for me! When he keeps the same/similar relationships between parts, he gets to still look like himself.

It ALSO really helps when putting clothes on, because the way cloth falls and bunches and lifts is all directly related to the form it is on... So the more you understand that form, the more you can depict clothing and movement in a way that feels natural.

This is all, of course, true when I draw anyone, you asked about Steve so I'm trying to mostly show with him! But because I'm just drawing from raw information of general anatomy rather than trying to study one body type at a time, it allows a lot more "give," I think!

Like, here's most of the cast from TTA so far... actually, they're not as varied as I thought they were nevermind LMAO ignore this part

But, it also makes monster and alien design much easier! It's a lot easier to come up with non-human anatomy when I understand human anatomy, because I can manipulate the knowledge I have...

There is infinite more to study in the world of anatomy... The complexity of the human body goes extremely deep. For our purposes as artists, we need only depict a fraction of it, but more information rarely hurts the process.

I'm sure there's something in here that's wrong on a technical level, I'm mostly going off of memory. But that's kind of my point - I understand enough generally and conceptually that when I am missing something and need to find reference for it, I understand what I'm looking at. It's much easier than trying to learn AND draw at the same time.

I hope even one thing in here helped you! Sorry it's so long.

[57sfinest]

no honestly did jean genuinely not realize that the car in the ocean was a suicide attempt?? did he really think harry was THAT drunk or was he willingly misinterpreting it so he could shift any sympathy away from harry? because i can absolutely see jean seeing it as a suicide attempt but deliberately choosing to frame it as an irresponsible accident resulting from harry's alcoholism, because that way no one will be like "oh shit harry tried to kill himself?" and they'd instead join jean in condemning harry for his addiction

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

[amelikos]

I wonder what Liko and Amethio will talk about in the cave. My current guess is that Liko could somehow bring up something that weighs on her mind and open up to Amethio. We've seen that she was aware that Roy and Dot were worrying about her and tried to cheer her up to not "inconvenience" them further (which is such a Liko thing to do), so maybe the things she cannot tell Roy or Dot and that she'd rather keep to herself, she would bring up around Amethio. In turn, Amethio could also tell her something that weighs on his mind because he doesn't really have anyone to share things with since he doesn't seem to have friends (outside Soublades). I think it would be neat if they had a talk that is exclusive to both characters and maybe realize it's actually easy to talk to one another when it comes down to it.

Liko is going through similar steps as Amethio right now (Amethio also went through losses that made him stronger after facing Friede, Rayquaza and Hamber). So maybe the events that will unfold with Amethio are going to motivate Liko even further, which would fit since Amethio is connected to her growth as a trainer. Explicitly shown through the writing this time too since they brought up the battle on Roy's island back in HZ006 and had Amethio highlight and directly comment on Liko's progress (which also means he was paying close attention and remembered the events from back then). And he is the one showing up after Liko's confrontation with Grusha, to challenge everything she's been through up until that moment. Maybe Amethio's involvement will be key in Liko eventually passing her course somehow and making her stronger. Which is interesting, because by directly opposing Liko, Amethio is contributing to her growth, which will eventually serve as fuel for her to stand against the Explorers.

Also wondering if we'll get another "thank you" this time, just like towards the end of HZ045.. Maybe Liko thanking Amethio at the end after they manage to get out from the cave, and his reply would be different from the previous time and he would be more honest in his words. Or Liko thanking Soublades. Since they are shown sitting next to a fire to keep warm, maybe Soublades is the one who lit it, so I could see Liko saying thanks. I think they could use this opportunity to interact with each other's Pokemon.

I'm also curious whether Friede will show up to the cave or not. We know he's heading out to look for her while Grusha will help Roy and Dot, so will he show up once she is out or before that? Mostly because I wonder if Liko and Amethio's moment will remain their "secret" and something that remains between the two of them, or if Friede will be there and see Amethio. Next episode will mark twenty episodes since Friede and Amethio teamed up against Rayquaza together, so I wonder if they'll have an opportunity to interact before the current chapter ends. Amethio's connections to Liko and Friede are his most prominent ones out of the main group and they kind of grow together, so I wonder how things could change going forward.

[sidetrek]

I've basically been gunning on teaching myself comics (with a few wrong turns 🥴) the last few years and I've been pleased at everything I've learned so far and proud of the projects I've completed! But I think I really need to accept that the way I draw is just not social media friendly 🧍‍♂️

[adhd-merlin]

do you think Merlin told Hunith about Balinor's death? I suppose news about the death of the last dragonlord might have reached Ealdor eventually, or Gaius told her himself (more likely) but do you think Merlin personally told her, and that he knew Balinor was his father? I'm only asking for reasons