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hyunniesgirl · 11 months

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Another Love | part 1

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 8,539

Warnings for this part: lots of angst, drunk people, drunk Han is petty asf

A/N: So I made that pool asking if I should post this fic in chapters or a 20,000+ words chapter and the long ass chapter won but at the time my mind told me I would be able to finish the whole fic before posting it... Jokes on me I need validation and feedback for me to write so yeah let's do this in chapters, sorry

A/N2: I had this idea for quite some time now but got suddenly inspired listening to the song another love.

You're done. Really, you can't take it anymore. You've known Han Jisung since elementary school, you have been basically joined at the hip since then, your parents even became best friends because of you two.

You don't know exactly when you fell in love with him, was it on your second day at school when he invited you to play with him because he noticed you were all alone? Was it when someone made an awkward joke about your messed up hair cut in second grade and he picked a fight with them? Maybe it was the very first moment you laid eyes on him, joking around with everyone and being the most popular kid in the classroom. You really can't remember, but the thing you're sure of is: Han Jisung doesn't like you back.

You've always known that, but inside you there was a tiny bit of hope that one day he would wake up and suddenly love you back.

That didn't happen though. You are now 23 and he has never ever shown the smallest amount of romantic interest in you.

"That's fine", you thought to yourself, ever since you realized your feelings for him, "I'm going to stay with him his entire life, that doesn't sound so bad"

Until it started to sound really bad. What are you gonna do? See him getting a girlfriend, then getting engaged and eventually married? Would you always be there on the sidelines listening to his lovesick whines about the woman he loves so much? Would you be the godmother to his children? By then, would you have gotten over him already? Or would you keep this up forever, marrying someone just because you can't stay alone and being in love with your best friend for the rest of your life? That was the moment you knew you had to stop, you can't keep this up.

Coincidentally Han broke up with his last girlfriend a few months ago, you thought that would be a good opportunity for you to be his rebound, yeah, pretty dignified of you.

So you dress up really pretty, hair up, a dress that always made Han compliment you and to finish it off—the necklace he gave you on your 12th birthday.

You think this is it, this is the day you're going to tell him how much you love him and maybe, just maybe he will contemplate giving you a chance.

When he arrives at your shared apartment, with two cans of beer and fried chicken, you give him a cheerful greeting, setting the table and trying to gather courage to speak.

"So, how was practice?", you begin, maybe some small talk will help you relax.

"It was good, we are almost done with the album", he says, typing something on his phone. "How was your day?", he asks, putting the device on the table and looking at you.

"Good, I had class in the morning and tutoring in the afternoon", you take a sip of your beer, "one of the mothers actually recommended me to other parents and I'm gonna start tutoring more students next week"

He smiles, "that's good, you're really smart"

You blush, bringing the back of your hands to your face to try and lessen the hot skin of your cheeks with the cold of your hands.

"Actually, I want to talk to you", you start, it's now or never.

"Sure-", Jisung stops mid sentence when his phone buzzes. "Just a minute", he looks at the screen and smiles, your heart sinks at the sight. You know that smile too well, you have seen it dozens of times. You feel your insides turning over. It's the smile meant only for the person he likes.

"Hey, Lia. Yeah, totally, I can talk right now", he picks up the call and once again asks you for a minute lifting his index finger, he walks towards the balcony and closes the glass door after going through it.

He's laughing about something, is she even that funny or is he just trying to win her favor? She's pretty, you know it. All of his girlfriends looked like models. You sigh, looking at yourself and feeling awful, suddenly you don't feel pretty anymore, you actually feel ridiculous.

Why did you think things would change just because you got brave enough to speak up? Jisung sees you as a best friend and nothing more, you have to come to terms with that.

Your mind is rushing, thinking about what you're going to do now? Can you keep being friends with him? Yeah, of course, he's your best friend, you won't end your friendship because you can't control your feelings. But you'll need time, right? You won't be able to get over this unrequited love if you keep seeing him everyday, doing everything with him and sleeping in the same house.

"So, what do you want to talk about?", he asks, sitting again. You didn't even notice he had come back inside.

You sigh, you'll tell him about it all and then you'll find the strength in you to move on.

"I like you", you say so low you're not sure he heard you. But he did, he smiles and chuckles.

"I like you too, we're best friends for a reason", he stretches his arm to take a fried chicken.

"No, I like like you", you admit, hugging yourself, feeling cold suddenly, you look around and see Han left the door to the balcony open. "I've been in love with you since I can remember", you complete.

The look on his face would be funny if it wasn't tragic, his brows are furrowed in confusion and his eyes have a very familiar look: fear. Of course, he's afraid of losing his best friend, you already guessed that much.

"Y/N I-", you notice his breathing quickening. "I'm sorry, I never knew", he says, shoulders slumping, his arms dropping to the side of his body.

"Yeah, I know you didn't", you say. He's still staring at you with so much hurt in his eyes. Jisung knows he will have to turn you down and it's going to hurt him a lot, but not as much as it will hurt you and he never ever wanted to hurt you.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say", he takes a deep breath, "I never thought about you in that way, I'm really sorry, I don't feel the same"

You're not going to cry, you decided that the moment you saw fear in his eyes. It's not his fault you like him, he can't fall in love with you just because you love him. You're not going to cry and make him feel worse than you can tell he's already feeling. But listening to those words it's worse than you could have expected, you feel like the world is crumbling around you.

"I know you don't", you smile sadly.

He looks more confused now.

"Then, why did you tell me?"

"It's just… I'm done with all this", you reply, getting up from your chair.

"Done with our friendship?" Han can feel all the air leaving his body while he waits for your answer.

You chuckle, fidgeting with your foot.

"No, I don't think I could ever be done with that", you smile trying to reassure him and he feels so relieved. "I can't keep doing this, I can't continue seeing you with other people and stay hurting alone"

"I can stop bringing people to the apartment and I'll never talk about them around you", he says trying to help and your stomach sinks a lot more. Why does he have to be so sweet?

"Actually, I'll need some time", you clear your throat, "I think I'm going to stay with Seungmin for the time being, he is looking for a roommate"

Han's eyes widen and he gets up, walking towards you.

"What are you talking about? Are you going to move out?"

"It's not something definitive, I'm going to stay there until he finds a new roommate and come back after that", you take a step back, noticing how close he is to you. "Luckily by then I'll be over you, I think I just need some personal space for now, where you're not there everytime I look, or your things aren't mixed with mine or your scent isn't around every room"

"Will you still speak to me?", he asks, he wants to hug you, to hold you in his arms and say how sorry he is for not feeling the same. But he knows he can't, the best thing he can do is to keep his distance from you right now.

"I think we should keep it restricted to apartment things for now, I'll keep paying my half of the rent since my things will still be here"

"You don't have to pay if you're not here"

Ever since Jisung started making good money he insisted that you didn't have to pay for rent since you only work part time as a tutor to pay for your living expenses but you always refused. Even though he earns a lot more than you it wouldn't be fair for him to be the only one paying and honestly, you felt that if he was the only one paying for it, you would feel too much like you were a couple.

"No, I'll pay you. This arrangement doesn't change the fact that we still share the apartment"

He nods, looking down, the awkward silence making you sick.

"I'm really sorry I hurt you", he whispers and all the crying you avoided over this whole conversation threatens to come out at that exact moment.

"It's not your fault", you say, "I'm sorry I made things awkward, just give me some time and we'll be back to how things were, okay?", you give him a reassuring smile even though you're not sure things will ever go back to the way it was.

You wake up feeling like shit, you cried your eyes out the moment you stepped into Seungmin's apartment. He was so sweet to you, staying awake until you calmed down and even offered you his room for you to sleep but you refused. He was already doing you a favor by letting you stay on his couch until he found a roommate.

You sit, stretching yourself, you slept pretty comfortably but all the stress from last night left your muscles sore.

"Are you feeling better?", you hear Seungmin's voice and look at the kitchen, he's making coffee. That reminds you of all the days you woke Han up with a nice and hot coffee so he wouldn't be in a bad mood waking up so early.

"I don't think so", you answer, shaking your head like that would make your thoughts disappear. "Can you get me some of that?", you ask and he smiles.

"Already on it", you start tidying up the blanket and the pillow you used.

"What are you going to do today?", Seungmin asks while you sit at the table.

"I have some tutoring to do and class in the afternoon, maybe I'll go shopping with Hannah later"

"That's good, try to keep yourself entertained at least for the next couple of days", he hands you the mug and you nod.

All your friends knew about your crush on Han and you made all of them swear they wouldn't tell him. You were afraid things would be awkward now, since Han was their friend before you met them, but they all showed you support now that you had confessed.

Hannah had offered you to stay with her, but she has a roommate that's really strict about everything in their apartment and you don't want to cause trouble to your friend by staying there. Luckily Seungmin's last roommate had moved a couple of weeks ago and he was looking for someone new, but by the way he's picky that's not going to happen so soon.

"Since I'll be staying here and you won't accept money because I won't be using a room, the groceries will be on me and I won't accept no for an answer", you say finishing your coffee and getting up. Seungmin sighs, rolling his eyes.

"I know you're going to buy it anyway, so I'll accept it"

"Then send me a list of whatever you need and I'll buy it tonight or tomorrow", you blow him a kiss, picking your bag from the floor and heading to the bathroom.

You take a long, hot, refreshing shower and pick some comfortable clothes to go to your tutoring session.

Seungmin's already gone when you go back to the kitchen, there's a message from him on your phone.

Minnie: I left some sliced fruit in the fridge for you, eat before going out.

Minnie: I'll send you the list later btw

You smile, having someone taking care of you is nice. For a second, it makes you forget the reason why you're there to begin with.

You feel like crying again, but you can't show up to your students house with red eyes and a puffy face.

The parents that are near each other usually ask you to teach their children together in longer sessions. That strengthens the bond the kids have while strengthening the connection between the families. That usually happens when the families are wealthy, they see an opportunity in their children's friendship to get on each other's good side.

Your parents started hanging out with Jisung's parents too, not because of connections but because you two were always in each other's houses. Once, you broke your arm falling from a tree you tried to climb following Han, his mother had to call yours and calm her down on the phone the entire time your mother was driving to the hospital to meet you. That day you got scolded by both and after they finished the lecture they looked at each other and smiled, bonding over the fear of something happening to their precious child.

When they went out to buy some coffee and talk, Jisung sat by the side of your hospital bed, lips pouting and tearing up.

"I'm sorry I dared you to follow me all the way up there", he says, taking the hand of your good arm and holding it.

"It's okay, now at least I have an exciting story to tell the others", you say and he smiles, whipping his eyes.

The noise of the gate opening wakes you up from your daydream, you have to stop thinking about Han if you want to get over him.

The kids come running in your direction the moment the housekeeper opens the door.

"Miss Y/N, look I got a 9.5 on my test", the girl smiles brightly showing you the paper with the grade marked in red.

"Woah, Misu, you're so smart, I don't think you even need me anymore", you bend to her height and she pouts, sometimes she acts like a little child when she's already 12.

"Of course I need you, you're the prettiest and smartest person I know", she says and you hear someone clear their throats by the stairs. It's Misu's mother.

"If I didn't agree with her I'd be hurt", she says and you smile.

"Good morning, Mrs. Kim, I only helped a little, Misu's really smart", you say and the girl shows you her white teeth, looking at her mother and waiting for some praise.

"Of course she is", she pats the girl's head. "Eun, aren't you going to say hi to Y/N?"

The boy is a few months younger than Misu but a lot more shy. You saw him coming with her when you arrived but got so engrossed in your conversation that forgot he was there in silence.

"Hello, miss Y/N", he says, polite as ever.

"Hi, Eun, did you get a good grade like Misu?"

He nods, showing you his test with 9.8 marked in red.

"He's smarter than me", Misu pouts.

"Congratulations, Eun", you say, patting his head, making him blush and you smile. "I think you are both really smart and I'm here to help you get even smarter"

Mrs. Kim tells you to go ahead and start the lesson and invites you to stay for lunch. You were pretty lucky with the parents you met till now, all of them were nice to you and cared a great deal about their children so it's a lighthearted job to do.

The kids are indeed smart, usually you don't have to explain the same thing more than twice and they always ask a lot of questions during your time with them.

A week goes by since you last saw Jisung, fortunately he didn't try contacting you. You're sure that if he did you'd break hearing his voice and would beg for him to like you back, giving up on any pride you still have left.

You arrive at school an hour before your classes begin, you're meeting Hannah at the cafe nearby so you can talk a bit.

You look at your phone, there's a message from her saying she's on the bus but the traffic is awful so she might be a little bit late.

You choose a table by the window, contemplating if you should order already or wait till Hannah arrives.

Looking outside, you remember the moment you heard the news that you got into this university. Yours and Jisung's family were at your parents house, you both were seated on the couch when you received the message saying the college entrance results came out. You couldn't type your information, you were trembling so much Han had to do it for you.

When you read your name and the word "accepted" you actually screamed, making your mother drop the plate she had in hands. Your father and Han's came running to see what happened when Jisung showed them the screen.

Your mother and father embraced you, telling how proud they were of you and Jisung's parents did the same, like you were their own daughter.

Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, spinning you and making you burst out laughing. That moment was so good, you wanted to stay there forever.

"Earth to Y/N", you hear Hanna's voice and snap out of your thoughts, sighing. "Is everything okay?", she asks, worried.

"Yeah, I'm good", you say and she narrows her eyes, knowing you are not telling the truth.

Hannah left it at that though, you are going through a hard time and she doesn't want to push it.

Honestly, she don't expect you to be fine. Your lifelong crush had rejected you and to make things worse he is your best friend, so yeah, of course you are not okay.

"Then, I'm going to order", she drops her bag in the seat in front of you, "your usual?"

You nod, seeing her walk to the cashier. You met Hannah three years ago, when you started college. She's the total opposite of you, really outgoing and a total social butterfly, it seems those are the people you attract seeing how Han is the same.

She sat by your side on the first day, making a random joke and making you laugh, that's how she became your best friend. You didn't even have to tell her about your one sided love, she had to see only one interaction between you and Jisung to know exactly what was going on.

She is the one that urged you to tell him about your feelings and was very adamant about you moving on from him, she couldn't let you waste all your 20's being in love with someone that didn't like you back… or not the way you wanted to.

"So, I heard about a party", Hannah says, putting the pager on the table and sitting in front of you.

"There's like a hundred of those, you have to be more specific", you joke and she rolls her eyes.

"You know that guy from English literature? The one that dyed his hair pink last semester?"

"Yeah, it's kinda hard to forget about him", you laugh.

When Yunho came to school with pink hair a rumor of him becoming an idol started going around, everyone tried to be nice to him and all that shit but it turned out he just lost a bet.

"He's hosting this party in like a really big fancy place to celebrate his graduation", she finishes.

"That's nice", you say, fidgeting with your fingers under the table.

"Hmmm, are we going to go or what?", she asks and you glance at her.

"Were we invited?"

"Ahm, you're hot and I'm hot, why wouldn't we be invited?"

You laugh, knowing what she's doing. Hannah is more sensible than you give her credit for, you really thought she would ask about everything that happened on that night, but instead she has been trying to distract you for the past week and that is really nice of her.

She smiles, seeing you smile. Hannah knows you never give enough credit to yourself, you never think you're pretty enough, funny enough, cool enough or smart enough even though you're those things and much more. She approached you on your first day because there's just something about you, something bright and cheerful. When people are upset, mad or sad you always do your best to make them feel better, so Hannah felt this was her time to cheer you up.

The pager buzzes on the table and she gets up, going to the counter to get your orders.

You look at her coming back with a big grin in her lips, handing you the coffee with a note glued to the cup sleeve.

"To the girl with the yellow cardigan, I see you coming here often and I think you're cute, maybe we can hangout sometime? If you're up to it, text me: xxx xxxx-xxxx"

You blush, looking at the counter and seeing the cutest guy looking at you with flushed cheeks. He's so red you can see it from where you're seated. He smiles waving at you and you wave back.

Hannah has one eyebrow lifted looking at your interaction and you feel your cheeks even hotter.

"So, are you going to text him?", she asks, reading the note and you sigh.

"I don't think so", you say, sipping at your coffee.

"Why not?"

"I don't think it would be fair to someone if I start something with them when I'm still in love with someone else", you answer and Hannah sighs.

"Yeah, you have a point", she pouts, "but like, maybe messing around a little won't hurt? I mean, he's not in love with you or anything, you can talk with each other and see where things go"

Hannah's right and you know it. Even though it's still too soon, you should try meeting new people, you're not going to get over Han just by staying away from him.

This feelings, you have it with you for so long, it's hard to let it go. Loving Han is the only romantic feeling you have ever known, it's scary to walk off of this thing you know so well to something completely new.

You have to, though. It's the only way for your friendship to keep existing. So you nod to Hannah, taking your phone out of your pocket and dialing the number written on the cup, seconds later you're typing a message.

You: Hey, it's the girl in the yellow cardigan, my name is Y/N btw

You send and hear a ping, you thought he would have his phone on silent mode and sudden embarrassment creeps up when you see him taking his phone out of the pocket of his apron.

Cute guy: Hey, I was afraid of making you uncomfortable, so let me apologize first. I just didn't know how to approach you

Cute guy: Ah, and I'm Heeseung

You change the name in his contact before replying.

You: it didn't make me uncomfortable and thank you for calling me cute.

Heeseung: you don't have to thank me for telling the truth.

You giggle, it's interesting to feel like this, even though you can tell it's something temporary.

You: lol, you're really smooth.

"Let's go?", Hannah says, smirking at you and you blush. You nod, picking your things up and getting up from the table, you wave goodbye to Heeseung before going out and he smiles brightly at you.

>><<

The morning after you went away, Han woke up feeling awful, all the things that happened the previous night coming back at him at the same time. He was sure the moment you walked out of the door, giving him your best smile and trying not to cry was the saddest he ever felt in his entire life. You were his best friend, you were everything to him, he felt like shit because he never noticed your feelings. He doesn't know what he would have done if he knew, but maybe he could have been better, talking less about his relationships and especially not bringing his hook ups to the apartment.

He got up, feeling like crying everytime he had to pass by your bedroom door, knowing you were not there and wouldn't be for far too long, all because of him. The bell rings and he runs to the door, hoping it's you, hoping you'll tell him everything was a joke and that you didn't actually like him. Even though he knows you wouldn't press the doorbell since you know the password and he knows the hurt in your eyes when he said he didn't feel the same as you was no joke.

So it was no surprise when he opened the door and found Chan and Changbin there. They did tell him they were going to stop by in the morning to pick him up but with all the things that happened he just forgot about it.

"Are you okay? You look like shit", Changbin says entering the house.

Chan looks at Han, worried.

"Are you sick?", he asks, "where's Y/N?" He knows you wouldn't leave Han alone if he were sick, but you would have shown up already by hearing Changbin's loud voice.

"She's gone", Han says, running his hands through his hair.

"What do you mean?", Chan asks with wide eyes.

"She- she confessed to me and I turned her down", he says, maybe he should have told you he could like you back, that way he wouldn't be feeling this way and you'd still be there with him.

"Shit", Changbin says, his lips pressed in a thin line.

Han looks at the both of them, why don't they look surprised?

"You guys knew about it?" He asks, a little louder than his usual voice and the boys exchange a look. "Woah, thanks for the heads up"

He shouldn't be mad at them, it's not their fault, but he's already too mad at himself so he doesn't know where else to put the blame.

"It was not our place to tell you", Chan says.

"Does everyone know?", Han asks and Changbin nods, "so I was the only one? Am I dumb or something?"

Chan sighs, "it's not really your fault for not knowing, you probably are used to the way Y/N looks and talks to you because you're best friends since you were children, but to the people outside it is pretty clear from the get go that she likes you"

"But where did she go? Are you not friends anymore?", Changbin asks the difficult questions and Chan glares at him.

"She said she will be staying with Seungmin till he finds a roommate and then she's going to come back"

"She probably just needs some time", Chan says, putting a hand on Han's shoulder trying to reassure him, and he really hopes that's the case.

>><<

You've been texting Heeseung for a few days now and he's pretty nice, he's a dance major and works part time at the cafe to pay for living expenses the same as you do with tutoring.

Hannah had convinced you to go to Yunho's party and get wasted, saying you need the college life experience the most now that you had your first heartbreak but you don't want to think about that, you want to forget that you ever loved Han Jisung.

So you drink a whole bottle of wine before leaving for the party, Seungmin's coming with you and Hannah will meet you there. You are looking good, or maybe it's the alcohol that makes you feel good, your hair is down, you're wearing a black lace cropped top you borrowed from Hannah, with a much lower neckline than you are used to, high waisted jeans and black boots.

The party is already crowded when you and Seungmin get there and it's really a fancy place like Hannah told you.

"Let's grab a drink", you yell to Seungmin.

"You should drink water, you're already drunk", he demands and you show your tongue to him.

"Nooooo, don't be a killjoy"

He sighs, it's hard to convince you of something when you're sober, it's even harder when you're drunk.

"You can have a drink after you drink a cup of water", he tells you and you nod, sounds like a win win for you.

After drinking a whole cup of water you show it to him, waiting for a praise and Seungmin rolls his eyes. What are you, a 10 year old?

"Good job, now you can drink", he gives you a cup with something mixed in it, "but you have to drink some water for each drink you take, okay?"

"Okay, dad", you joke, sipping your drink.

Seungmin knows a lot of people at the party and you feel left out every time someone approaches him so you're really happy when Hannah shows up, with a much taller boy accompanying her.

"Look who I found", she says pointing at him.

"Heeseung?", you scream, startling Seungmin who's close to you.

"Jesus, Y/N, calm down", he says putting his hand over his ear, "I'm a singer, I can't lose my hearing", he says and you pout, whining an apology even though you know he's not really mad.

"I didn't know you were gonna be here", Heeseung gets closer to you, side eyeing Seungmin.

"I didn't want to come, Hannah made me", you tell him, "this is Seungmin, he's my friend"

He nods at the boy by your side, relaxing to hear you call Seungmin a friend.

"Hey, Minnie, let's go dance?", Hannah says and Seungmin narrows his eyes suspiciously.

"I don't dance", he answers, crossing his arms and she sighs.

"For fucking sake, just come with me", she says and Seungmin follows her without more questions, he knows too well not to mess with her when she gets angry.

"You look really pretty", Heeseung says, bending a little to lessen the difference in your height. You blush even though it's not as good hearing him saying that as it was when Han complimented you, but you're trying to get over that, aren't you?

"Thanks, you look hot too", you hiccup, you don't have a filter when you're drunk. He smiles, turning around on the table and pouring you a cup of water.

"Drink this, it's going to help", he hands it to you.

"Thank you, you're so sweet and handsome", you yell again but he doesn't flinch like Seungmin did.

"You can't keep saying these kinds of things and not want me to kiss you", he says and you smile, sly.

"Who says I don't want that?", the moment he comprehends what you just said his face reddens, and he thought he was being bold.

"Once you sober up we can talk about that", he tells you and you pout. You wanted to kiss him now, maybe if you did all the hurt you were feeling would go away. Maybe you just needed someone to make you forget about Jisung.

"But I want it now", you cross your arms, behaving like a child that didn't get their way.

"Do you like dancing?", he changes the subject. Your face brightens with his question.

"I LOVE dancing", you show him the choreography to queencard that's playing on the dance floor and he laughs at your messy steps, he's sure you're much better at it while sober.

"Then drink this and let's dance", he hands you another cup of water.

"Seungmin told me I could have a drink after a cup of water, but this makes two cups of water and no drink", you point out and Heeseung can't help but find the drunk you really cute.

"This water will help you so you won't have a bad hangover tomorrow", he says and you nod, that's a good point.

Super by seventeen starts playing and you finish downing the water, grabbing Heeseung's hand and dragging him to the dance floor.

Being a dance major, of course he knows the steps and he's so good there are moments you just stop and watch him in a daze. Actually, he knows the steps to every song playing after that too, you dance so much you're all sweaty and your legs are tired. You're totally sober now, feeling ecstatic. It's so good being at a party having so much fun.

You're jumping and smiling until you see him.

You stop in your tracks seeing Han Jisung staring at you from the other side of the dance floor, your smile fades away as soon as your eyes lock with his.

He looks sick, he lost a lot of weight considering the short period of time you haven't seen each other and he wasn't smiling like he always did. He takes a step in your direction and you automatically step away, your stomach sinking.

You're feeling your heart beat so fast it's overlapping with the loud music, you gulp feeling your legs weaken, why the hell are you having this reaction? He's the same Han Jisung you've known since you were a child, the only difference now is that he knows how you feel about him.

You can't avoid him until you get over your feelings, that won't work and you know it, you have to get used to being near him feeling nothing other than friendship, but you can't see him at that moment, you just can't. You're having fun, there's a handsome guy with you and you want to like him and not Jisung.

You grab Heeseung's hand and pull him away from the dance floor, walking outside so you can breathe some fresh air.

"Did something happen?", he asks, looking confused and worried.

"It just felt stiff in there for a moment", you say and he nods.

You didn't want to explain to him why you were not speaking to your best friend and how messed up your relationship with Han is right now. You want to forget about it and your way of doing it is right by your side, handsome and available.

"So, about that thing you said we could do once I sobered up… I'm sober now", you say and he blushes, analyzing you for a moment to see if you are telling the truth.

The last drink you took was more than an hour ago and you drank so much water after that, it's a miracle you still don't have to use the toilet.

"I don't want to do something you'll regret later", he says and you appreciate how considerate he is. But right now you don't want someone considerate, you want someone that'll sweep you off your feet and help you forget what you so desperately want to. So you get closer, caging him against the wall and tiptoeing, trying to get closer to his face.

"If you don't want to, it's okay. But if you're holding back because you think I'm drunk, I'm not", that was his cue to kiss you. His lips crashing sloppily onto yours, hands cupping your face then moving down to your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck trying to get closer than you already are. He's good, you've kissed enough people in your life to know that, yet you feel sick.

You feel bad and like a horrible person because you just know he can't compare to Jisung even though you never kissed your best friend.

You feel bad thinking about someone else while kissing Heeseung, he's so nice and sweet and you know he's not fooling around, if you give him the chance he's going to truly like you and you're only using him.

You step away sighing, seeing his brows furrowed and the confusion in his eyes.

"Was it that bad?", he jokes but you can see he's feeling hurt. "I'm not trying to brag, but I never got a reaction like that after a kiss"

You smile apologetically, looking for words to explain yourself.

"It was great and you're great", you begin, "I think you're too sweet, that's why I can't lead you on"

"What are you talking about?" he asks, even more confused.

"I'm in love with someone else and I know it sounds awful, I did try to get over him with you but I feel like you'll really like me if we don't stop right now and I'm not sure if I'll be able to be that person for you", you look at him, seeing the disappointment in his face. "I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person and you can hate me if you want"

He stares at you for a few moments, sighing and giving you a reassuring smile after.

"I don't think you're terrible, I think you're truly brave for coming clean like that", you're relieved, you were afraid he would say something mean and even though you feel like you deserve it, you're really fragile right now. "Thank you for telling me before I got too deep into this and I don't know, maybe we can be friends?"

"Absolutely, I would love that"

"So, do you want to go back inside?", he asks and you shake your head.

"I don't think so, I should probably go home", you say, you don't want to go back there to see Han again.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"It's okay, I'm going to text Seungmin and see where he's at but you can go inside, I'm going to stay here and get some more fresh air"

"Alright, I'll see you at the cafe"

You nod, seeing him walk away. Woah, you just let that masterpiece of a man go because you can't forget about a fucking unrequited love. You curse yourself, slapping your forehead.

After that, you text Seungmin telling where you are and asking where the hell he and Hannah went, sending the same message to her and waiting for their answer.

You sit on the grass, taking a deep breath. You feel a bit sick after seeing Jisung, you never thought you'd feel that way. Never in your worst nightmares did you think you would be afraid to talk to him, maybe you're scared of talking to him and feeling nothing, what if all of this was just in your head and you just needed some time apart to figure it out?

You hear steps close to you and pray it's not some horny couple trying to fuck near you, however, the moment you lay eyes on your best friend you actually wish it was a horny couple.

You get up in a jump, your stomach sinking and your head spinning. Why does it hurt so much suddenly? It feels like your chest is being torn apart and you can't do a thing to make it better.

Jisung looks worse up close, he has huge bags under his eyes and he's too pale.

You're worried about him, even though you can't have the luxury of that. Not when your insides are all messed up and you want to throw up. You walk past him without saying a word, you can't handle this right now, but he grabs your wrist holding you in place. You don't look at him, staring at the floor trying to get out of his grip.

"I miss you", he says and your heart drops to your stomach. Why is he doing this to you? It's not like being apart from your best friend is fun to you. "Can't you look at me?", he pleads but you can't find the courage to do that yet. "Please", but he sounds so desperate, you force yourself to do it.

You look at him, he's obviously drunk. Who the hell let him drink this much?

"What is it?", you sound more spiteful than you were planning and his eyes widen, releasing your arm from his grasp.

"Do you hate me now?", he asks and you sigh.

"Of course I don't hate you, you're my best friend", you say that but for some reason it doesn't feel right, it doesn't sound like the truth.

"Can't you come back home? I feel like shit everytime I wake up and you're not there"

"I told you I need time", you say, running your hands through your hair.

"Are you going to forget about me by fucking some random dude?", he asks and you glare at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I don't understand how that's any of your business"

"It is, because you told me you love me but you act like you never want to see my face again", he scoffs.

You feel mad, what's he trying to say? Should you keep hurting just because you love him?

"I can't sit around forever, waiting for you to look at me", you say and he steps closer to you.

"I'm looking at you right now, I- I'll be good to you, I'll like you back", the moment he finishes saying that, you can't control the tears running through your eyes.

Is that supposed to be good? He would be forced to date you so he could have you close to him?

"Why are you doing this to me?" You ask and he takes a step back startled with you tears, suddenly sobering up, "it's not easy for me to be away from you, you're my best friend, but I do have some bit of dignity left in me and I won't accept less than I deserve, even if that less is the man I love with me", you wipe your tears seeing him step closer, trying to reach your hand and you step away, "don't come close to me right now, I could never stay with you knowing you don't love me, you should know that"

You turn around trying to get away from him but stop on your tracks seeing Hannah, Seungmin, Chan and Changbin right there looking at you awkwardly. Of course, the humiliation is the cherry on the top. You pass through them feeling so embarrassed you want the earth to swallow you.

The ride home is awkward and silent. Hannah and Seungmin keep exchanging looks while you look out the window trying to figure how your life became this mess.

You really should have dated Jeongho when he asked you out in middle school, it was around that time that you realized you liked Han more than just a friend—when Haneul asked to be his date to the school festival and you wanted to punch her so hard. Maybe if you had dated that boy at that time you would have forgotten the feelings you had for your friend, maybe you would have brushed it off as some childhood crush, but no, you rejected Jeongho while Han went with Haneul to the school festival and you third wheeled the whole event earning nasty glances from her every time your best friend played two times the same game so he could win you a plush too.

Back then you still thought everything would be okay, if only you had him everything would be okay.

You start bawling without notice, crying so much you can't even breathe. Seungmin stops the car and Hannah gets to the back, hugging you and caressing your hair while whispering that everything will be fine and you really want to believe her.

You don't know how you got into Seungmin's apartment, you guess he carried you inside after dropping Hannah home but you're not sure. It's sunday so he's not up yet for you to ask and it doesn't actually matter, what matters is the absolutely pathetic scene you made at the party and in the car. You want to bury yourself into a hole and never come back, how the hell are you going to face your friends after they saw you being humiliated by Han like that?

You know he was drunk, of course he was. You know he didn't mean it, he was hurt and drunk and people act on feelings not reason when they are like that. But does he think you have no pride? Does he really think you would date him knowing he doesn't like you back?

It's different when you confessed to him, you knew he didn't like you that way. But if he told you that there was something there, that he was not going to promise you anything but someday he may like you back, that's all you needed to hear. However, that didn't happen. He told you with all the words that he doesn't like that way, that he doesn't feel the same way as you do, there was no room for interpretation, no room for what if's.

You get up, in need to distract yourself. This week is going to fly by, you have tutoring lessons using up all your free time so you just have to get through the day.

There are a lot of messages on your phone, you really don't want to read them because you know that other than Hannah's, it's awkward comforting words from your other friends.

Hannah: call me when you wake up

Hannah: let's go eat something delicious, what do you think? It's on me.

Hannah: are you still not up or are you ignoring me?

You: I just woke up, calm down girl

You: why would I ignore you though? I just have to brush my teeth and eat something then I'll call you.

Binnie: morning babes

Binnie: Hannie is such an asshole

Binnie: I'll date you if you want, you're hot it's a win win for me

You chuckle to Changbin texts, he's so sweet in the weirdest way.

You: I mean, you're hot too

You: I think we'd make an awesome couple

Chan: good morning, Y/N

Chan: we didn't hear anything last night, so please, don't be awkward or embarrassed around us.

You: good morning Channie, I know you heard

You: you should have matched your story with Changbin before texting me though

You: it's okay, alright? Of course I'll be embarrassed for the time being, but we're friends I won't be embarrassed forever.

You leave your phone on the couch and go to the bathroom. You look like shit, smeared makeup, hair disgusting and you're still wearing the same clothes. You turn on the hot water, taking your clothes off and entering the shower, the warmth embracing you as you feel more relaxed.

You put on something comfortable, it's Sunday, you're going to ask Hannah to come by and you're going to order takeout.

You call her number while eating because you know she's anxious.

"Hey babes, good morning", she picks up, cheerful as always.

"Good morning", you say, biting the toast you just made.

"So, what about going out and eating something really good?", she asks.

"Hm, I'm actually not in the mood to go out? Can't you come by, we order something and watch that movie you've been bugging me for the last month?"

"Yeah, sure. We can do that", she answers and you are happy she doesn't sound upset or disappointed. With all the shit you're pulling lately you're scared your friends are going to get tired of your bullshit and stop talking to you. You used to think no one wanted a friend that's always crying and whining, but they showed you that real friends help each other.

"So what time are you gonna come?"

"I will just take a shower and wait for the bus, so in maybe like an hour?", she guesses and you nod forgetting she can't see you.

"Okay, see you then"

You decide to clean the house while waiting, Seungmin is pretty organized and clean so there's nothing too difficult. You'll just wash the dishes and vacuum a little.

Hannah arrives later than she predicted, Seungmin is already up and cleaning his room. He scolded you because it's his day to do the dishes and you shouldn't have done it because it's not fair to you.

You think he's being extra nice to you because of what happened the night before and it's true, he was really scared when you cried in his car.

He has known you for almost five years and he never saw you cry like that, even on the night you came to his house after confessing to Han you didn't cry like that. This time was different, you had a soul crushing cry, he wanted to stop the car and go to the back to hug you the same as Hannah, but he knew you were already being comforted by the perfect person.

Han is his friend, he could never choose between you two. But he couldn't deny it, that was a dick move, how could he ever say that to someone that likes him? He basically told you that he could pretend to like you if you stayed with him.

And of course, Seungmin understands the fear of losing a friend, but doing what he did just increases the chances of you never wanting to see his face again.

You are seated on the couch, watching the movie Hannah is obsessed with at the moment. She already watched it five times alone and asks anyone she can find to watch it again with her, she even repeats some sentences together with the characters.

The pizza you ordered is almost gone, you didn't know you were so hungry until the smell hit your nose. Luckily or thanks to Seungmin and Heeseung, your hangover is not that bad and you want it to stay that way so you keep drinking lots of water.

You got through the day thanks to your friends, they kept you entertained the whole time so you wouldn't overthink or even think about Han.

You are doing that just now, looking at the ceiling in the dark room. You want it all to be a dream, maybe you would wake up tomorrow and still be in middle school, you'd take the opportunity and get over him at that time, that would have spared you of some big problems.

----------------

A/N: So, I don't know how many parts this fic will have. If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing.

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reiderwriter · 11 months

Text

Dirty Cops

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: With a dirty cop killing women in the BDSM community running loose you and Spencer have to devise an equally dirty plan to catch him in the act.

Warnings: Kintober Day 22 - S&M, BDSM themes, public sex, oral sex, exhibitionism, bathroom sex, interrupted sex (both of them are cockblocked by the job).

A/N: I'M BACK! Sorry for the delay. This is the fic that has been beating my ass for about two weeks now. I fear I put too much detail into the case, and now I'm 6k words deep into a part one of a fic that should've been a 3k standalone.... oops! I hope you enjoy~

You sat in your office hands on your forehead as you desperately searched for the solution to your problems. 12 women, 12 homicides that VICAP had just spotted were easily similar. All in the same jurisdiction, and yet no connections made by their police force.

Something was going on in Tampa, and you needed to get to the bottom of it before another person died.

You supposed it didn't really help that some of the women had died in some pretty unorthodox ways. Strangulation, blunt force trauma, evidence of rope burns, and having been held hostage but not for long. Things your team was familiar with, but local detectives usually couldn't stomach.

As the BAU's brand new liaison officer, you got the job of convincing the local law enforcement to invite you in. They certainly weren't making it easy for you.

"Listen, I'm telling you there's something here, sir, if you'd just check the case files. We're only trying to help."

"You're trying to stick your nose in my departments business because you think your fancy FBI agents can handle my cases better than me."

"Sir, with all due respect -"

"Fine, you think you can come find whoever whacked these street whores you come and do it." You took in a sharp breath and paused, trying to make sure if you were hearing him correctly.

"What do you mean by whores, Captain? Choose your words very carefully." The warning was a bonus, knowing your voice had already done such a 180 he was probably regretting his previous word choices. As far as you knew none of the victims were wex workers. They mainly had office jobs or were even stay ah hone mom's.

"Each and every one of these women were jezebel's. Cheating, doing dirty things while showing their faces in church. They attended a certain establishment, not a Christian one, if you understand what I'm telling you, Miss."

"It's Agent, actually, and if you ever leave these details out of a case file ever again, I'll make sure to have your badge pinned up on my wall like a hunting trophy. Are we clear, Captain?" He stuttered out a yes, but you cut him off quickly.

"My team and I will arrive later today. Expect us for lunch." You said, slamming the receiver down and finally releasing a huff of breath you'd been saying for emergencies.

A whistle from the door finally draws your attention after a few minutes.

"Okay, Y/N," JJ clapped, looking impressed. "Who pissed you off?"

"Just the Captain at the precinct who just very politely invited us to consult on our next case." You threw the file in her direction as she set down the coffee she'd bought you, picking it up to peruse it. "Where's Hotch? I need to tell him we've got to go now before they change their minds."

"You know you want to say it," she teased as you began walking out of the office to find your elusive boss.

"Ha. Sure. Wheels up in 30, Jennifer." She raised her coffee in a salute to you as you finally took off, getting ready to go to war against an unhelpful police precinct.

–X–

With all the time you don't have, you end up briefing the team on the jet. You have to stand and grab the edge of the table as you try not to pace up and down the aisle.

"Twelve victims, all women between the ages of 20 to 28. He's crossing race lines, so I don't think they're placeholders." In all honesty, this case had pissed you off.

Twelve dead women and no one seemed to care until you phoned the department up yourself when VICAP flagged it all with you. Half of the cases had been closed for lack of evidence, and the other half so poorly investigated that you knew it was only a matter of time before they got boxed up and shelved too.

"The general public in Zephyrhills doesn't even know they have a serial killer. No one is being told to exert caution. There's no local press on this either."

"It says that these women were all killed, but there's no viable DNA they could pick up?" Morgan asks, looking up at you.

"That's right, no DNA evidence can be lifted, but spermicide was found on three of the victims."

"So our unsub was wearing a condom. He came prepared, and we were dealing with a serial rapist who has bridged into murdering his victims."

"There was no spermicide found on the other nine victims?" Emily looks up at you from her place at the small table.

"No. Rape test kits weren't run on any of the other victims because, quote: 'it was pretty obvious what had happened.' The precinct waited too long to collect the DNA evidence and now we don't have enough to locate, let alone prosecute an unsub based on DNA."

The whole team shared in your stressed look then, sending you matching sympathetic glances as they suddenly understood the herculean task you'd taken on trying to convince the locals to invite you in.

Not noticing the awkward silence that fell on the group, Spencer spoke up quickly from his place, standing beside you.

"You know, Zephyrhills is only about an hour away from Tampa. Tampa is the number one hook up spot in the US. It's residents boast on average 14 orgasms a month instead of the nationwide average of 12.5." He seemed pleased with the knowledge he'd just let everyone in on, as you looked back on him.

"Right. So our guy is trying to get his rocks off to out gun the rest of the country. Thanks, Spencer."

"It's relevant. It's says in the casefile here that three of our victims were last spotted on the highway making their way to Tampa, but then their bodies were found dumped in Zephyrhills. What if he's following them?"

"Spencer has a point, but if he's following them, what gets them to turn around? The cars were found abandoned in Zephyrhills, too, none of these women made it to Tampa." Hotch adds, and you make eye contact with him as your next thought comes to you.

"What could get someone to stop on a highway?" You ask, the question so simple, every single one of them knew the answer before you'd even finished asking.

"A cop." JJ filled in, and you all sat silently as you realised how dangerous this next case could truly be.

"We're about an hour out from arrival, everyone get some rest for now, I'm going to make a call to the nearest FBI Field Office, see if any of this is on their radar."

You slunked back to your seat at the back of the jet and sat down again, trying to get comfy but ending up just shifting multiple times in your seat.

Spencer joined you, sitting beside you, so close you could feel his eyes on you as your leg began to bounce. He put his hand over it and, with a strong hand, stilled the movement.

"Y/N, you did a good job connecting these cases." His voice was meek and calming, and you'd generally very much appreciate it if his hand weren't sending your body through some serious loops right then.

Your leg was on fire where he was touching you, his hand hot even through the fabric of your clothes. But when he pulled the hand away, watching your legs for any further tremors, you felt the need to snatch it back and replace it on your leg, certain that it would sooth the burning once more.

You snapped yourself out of it quickly. If you were thinking this way about Spencer of all people, then you really needed to get laid.

"Tampa's population consists of 43% singles, you know. Good statistics for getting laid." You twisted your head around to meet his eyes again.

"Tell me I didn't say that outloud." But his small smile dashed your hopes as you realised you just admitted to feeling incredibly horny because of his hand on your knee.

"If it's any consolation, I'm definitely the only one who heard it." His hand fell back to your thigh, and you twitched as it did, but you didn't move him.

"Fucking floridians and their goddamn 14 orgams a month," you muttered under your breath, hoping that he wasn't paying any attention to you now, seeing as how he'd opened up a book to hold in one hand.

"Lucky if I get even one and Florida man has 14 in him." You continue mumbling as you try to get cosy, closing your eyes and moving your head to find a comfortable position.

“You definitely said that one out loud.” He laughed, and you threw up your middle finger while letting your head fall back and your body take the rest it needed.

Without opening your eyes, you decided you needed the last word, a phenomenon you often found occurring in Spencer’s presence.

“A gentleman would pretend to not have heard that, Spencer.”

“I’m not a gentleman.” Annoyance prickled you at his reply, but you were too tired to say anything more as you caught up with the sleep that had been evading you for weeks.

–X–

Your landing in Florida comes almost too soon, and Hotch delegates tasks before you’ve even had the chance to properly get your feet beneath you after so long in the sky.

This case was becoming more of a mindfield with each of the pieces of information you’d received. Upon getting off of his call with the FBI Field Office closest to Zephryhills, Hotch had informed the team about an ongoing investigation into the police captain’s wife, whose pseudo-Christian church group were spewing vitriol about damn near every group you could think of.

“Religious discrimination, racism, sexism, homophobia and some pretty screwed up views of basically everything else, too.” Penelope had informed the group, pulling up the files that had been sent to her.

“It seems their most recent project is… Oh, how relevant. An adult establishment just opened up on the outskirts of Tampa, right on the highway that connects it to Zephyrhills. And from the boasts of the club owner on social media, it seems he’s telling anyone who listens that he’s not going to get shut down because the police are his main clientele.”

She sent through links to some of the posts to your iPads, and you angled the thing towards Spencer so he could take in the new information as well.

“Could we be looking at a religious motive to the murders? You said that the police captain called these women Jezebels. The name is biblical, she was a Queen who worshipped a false god and was defenestrated because of it, but over time, the uncapitalised jezebel, as you know, tended to refer to women with loose morals.”

“The motives could still be religious, but these women were raped. It says in the case files that Mrs. James’s church group is solely comprised of women, mostly the wives of the officers in the police force.”

Again, everything was leading you back to this stupid police precinct. You grimmaced as you realised that the next few weeks were going to be spent on the edge watching your back.

“Y/N, Reid, I want you both with me at the precinct when we land. Morgan, JJ, go to the church and interview some of the ladies there, see if you can’t push some buttons. Emily, Rossi, some of the family’s of the victims got in touch with the field office to request inquiries, go anf find out whatever you can about the last known whereabouts of these women.”

Now bracing yourself, you set your face in a neutral expression and let Spencer hold the door open for you as you walked into the station.

“Hello, we’re the agents from the FBI. Where can we find your captain?” You ask the receptionist at the chatting to her desk, but just as you finish your inquiry, another officer cuts you off, stepping half in front of you and demanding some files from the woman.

She stands awkwardly, sending you an apologetic glance as she scurries off to go and complete whatever busy work he’s just given her as you quietly seeth at his back.

The officer turns around to you and grins, sending you a smile as he walks off, apparently pleased with himself for foiling your attempts to find his boss.

“Y/N, keep a cool head. The captain’s office seems to be just ahead, I’m going to go and see if he’s there, smooth out some of the issues they seem to be having over here with our presence.” You nod and stay back with Spencer, who takes a quick seat behind you.

You don’t sit, though, too on edge and pissed off to get comfortable now.

The officers seem to ignore the two of you, bustling around you with no sense of shame, but you can tell they're watching you, hearing the low murmur of whispers.

When one of them decides to out their hands on you, though, you've decided you've had enough.

"Sorry, little lady, I need to get through. Important police business." He practically Leeds down at you as his hands grab your waist, meaning to move you aside to her you out of his path.

You don't give him the chance, grabbing his hands from your hips and twisting them behind his back quickly, shoving him face first into the nearest desk.

"Fuck, you little bitch. Come and control your partner, man." He struggles in your grasp, signalling to Spencer.

You grin as Spencer doesn't even look up at him, having pulled out a copy of War and Peace and settling nicely in his seat. You could tell he was on edge though, had seen the slight way his body tensed when you'd first been touched, and knew that if you'd needed it, he'd be there backing you up in a second.

"Sorry, are you talking to me?" He finally said, still not looking up from his book.

"Yes, get this bitch off of me."

"If you ask her nicely, I'm sure Agent Y/N would release you. As for me, I'm certainly not making her do anything she doesn't want to." He grinned as he said it, and you rolled your eyes slightly.

"Maybe if you told some of these other agents here to stop looking at her likes, she's a hunk of meat and greeted her respectfully instead of calling her… little lady, was it? Maybe then she'd be more generous." The man grumbled beneath you again, but before you could actually force his hand, Hotch and the Captain were exiting his office, obviously alerted by the crashing sound you'd made.

"Reid, Y/N, that's enough." Hotch signalled, and you complied, letting the man go and stepping back to Reid's side. He'd stood now, squaring his shoulders and making use of his quite intimidating height. You must seem tense, though, because the second you settle next to him, he puts a hand on your lower back, and you're surprised at how calm you instantly become.

Earlier, his touch had been fire and ice, and now it was relaxing you beyond belief. What the hell was wrong with your body recently?

"Thank you, sir," the officer said, straightening, dusting off his uniform as he levelled a glare at both you and Spencer. "I was beginning to think the FBI was just a bunch of sissy's and menstruators-"

"Cut the crap." Hotch barked out, and even you were startled by the sound. "Captain, if you or any member of your precinct says anything further about any member of my team, or god forbid puts a hand on them, I'll personally make sure this office is charged with conspiracy to murder for not investigating these deaths and aggravated assault of a federal officer. Do I make myself clear?"

The man seemed displeased at having his badge threatened for a second time in 24 hours, but nodded, dismissed the other officer, and finally shut up.

He has the female receptionist from earlier show you to the room you'd be using for your investigation for the next few weeks.

After making sure the room is secure, you place a call to Penelope and the others trying to gauge if they'd found any further leads.

"Some of the family members know exactly where they were going that night. One of them had a husband, said he was going with her, that they drove in separate cars because it was part of the thrill of it all." Emily's voice sounded tense and frustrated, and you could only sympathise silently before jumping in to ask her more questions.

"I thought they said it was an adult establishment? Does that not mean strip club?" You asked, perplexed at why the married couple would be going together.

"No, from what I can tell, it seems these women were members of the BDSM community, and that place… is somewhere they can practice."

"So even if we do somehow get another victim, any DNA test could be questionable evidence because they all left to have consensual sex." You sighed out and ran a stressed hand through your hair.

On your call with JJ and Morgan, you got much of the same.

"Oh, they're angry, alright. About the immigrants and the drug dealers, the homosexuals, and the jezebels. Seems they're working hard to get the club closed not just because it's a house of sin but also because the man who owns it might be an illegal immigrant."

"How quaint and Christian of them."

"Yep, and get this, the club's official title? Women for the Grace of God. There were no men in this group, Y/N. We're not going to find our unsub here."

Hanging up, you let your head hang, the fatigue of the case really kicking your ass.

"Spencer, draw the blinds, Y/N, lock the doors." Hotch ordered, and you listened, quickly making sure that no one was even close to the door. Returning to your seat, you noted the tense set of your boss's jaw and decided that whatever he had to say wasn't going to be good.

"Our unsub is in this precinct, which means we're not safe. But it also puts us in a unique position. They don't know we suspect them yet. We can force the unsubs hand."

You straightened in your chair, listening closer.

"You want to bait them out?" Spencer asked from his place beside you.

"I want you two to bait them out. You already got under a few of the officers' skin, push a few more buttons, and we could get our unsub to slip up."

"And how are we supposed to do that?" You asked, heart thumping in anticipation. You thought you already knew, but you needed to hear the words from his mouth to be sure.

"They're going after women in the BDSM lifestyle. Let's convince them that the two of you are also similarly involved."

He turned and left you with the decision then, leaving you and Spencer in the small room alone.

Your palms were sweaty, and you refused eye contact for a few minutes before he finally cracked and gave in first.

"It'd work." He whispered, suddenly closer than you remembered.

"What?"

"It would work. Whoever this guy is, he's getting off on dominating these women, seeing another man that he deems physically inferior dominating a woman who's already kicked an officers ass… that's enough to get him to crumble, slip up."

"So I'm supposed to just bend over and take it?"

"Bend over, yes, but I usually prefer women to be a bit bratty."

"What?" You found yourself blinking up at his face, even as the door swung open again, another officer walking into the small room you'd been left in.

You stepped away from Reid slightly, putting a more appropriate distance between the two of you before the man started talking.

"Well hello, I heard we had some feds in the office, thought I'd come introduce myself, but I didn't hear we had such a beautiful woman here, too. She a witness?" He directed the question to Spencer, but his leering eyes never left your body, trailing down slowly and disgustingly as you tried not to shudder under his gaze.

"I'm Doctor Spencer Reid, this is my partner, Agent Y/N. How can we help you?"

"Oh, I'm all set on my medicals, doc. You can't help me. Maybe she can if you let me take her out for a test drive?" Your blood boiled as he said those words, and you were about to send a cutting reply back to the man, when Spencer sat back down in his seat, snaking an arm around your waist to take you with him.

"Sorry, I don't lend out my private property." Stunned, you tried to act naturally about your new position, but his hand on your thigh slashes your brain capacity down by half, the only thought in your head running through Spencer Reid's possible sexual preferences.

"Oh, I see how it is. She's a slut, just not that kind. Okay, I'll bite, what's this one into? Choking, spanking? Careful, don't go too far or you'll be prime suspect number one for our perp."

"What are you insinuating, officer?"

"That these sluts you're asking about got in over their heads. Some women like it rough, practically beg for it. Poor guy just did what they were asking." Biting your tongue, you let the man keep digging his own hole, as Spencer kept him talking.

"Actually, contrary to popular opinion, in most sado-masochistic relationships, the submissive partner is the one in control. They have power to stop whatever role play is going on in the scene through safe words and actions, and the dominant role is more of a protective role, requiring a deep level of commitment and care for their sub." As he said it, he turned your face to his, hooking a finger under your chin and then stroking your face as you fell further into his body.

You almost forgot the other officer was there until you heard his grumbled reply, turning your head slightly to whisper in Reid's ear.

"Long shot, Doc." With that, you climbed from his lap, turning back to the other officer with a grin.

"Sorry, was there anything professional we could help you with? Or would you like to go and deal with your little problem alone in the men's bathroom now?" He turned on his heels and exited swiftly, face red with rage at your insinuations.

"Okay. I'll admit, it's going to work. But we're going to need to set up some bait and deliver the profile to them to make sure we have each and every one of their attentions."

"I'll notify, Hotch."

"Spencer, wait." He stopped at the door and turned back to listen to you. "Earlier when you said… when you mentioned that you'd prefer…" You tried to ask the question but it seemed the question just wasn't going to form on your lips so you simply let out a small frustrated humph and let him figure out the rest.

"Y/N, I… I don't know how to answer that question and still act professionally around you."

He left the room shortly after, and you couldn't help but feel disappointed at the distance suddenly kept between the two of you. You were beginning to become much too distracted by Spencer Reid.

–X–

"Let's have another rundown again, just so we're all clear on the play by play on this." Morgan said as you and Spencer were wired up, ready for your operation.

It wasn't exactly undercover, but it wasn't quite straight police work either, but here you were. After giving the profile earlier, you'd noted that three of the officers had seemed a little bit fidgety under all the new information they were getting, all three of them matching your profile.

Unluckily for you, they just happened to be the Captain in charge of the precinct, Detective Handsy from your first trip into the office, and Detective Dumbass, who'd asked you and Spencer all about BDSM earlier that day.

Penelope had filled you in on each of their backgrounds. The Captain was second generation police force, but court of public opinion had ruled that his father wasn't exactly an upstanding guy, a report corroborated by his mother's multiple accidents and trips to the ER. Detective Handsy had a misdemeanour sex crime expunged from his juvenile record for masturbating in public - on the unconscious girl who sat next to him on the bus.

Detective Dumbass seemed to be the police contact for all the local prostitutes. He'd busted at least thirty in three months, and each of them had reportedly tried to turn him in as the John who'd paid for their services.

"Run through it again." Morgan brought you down to earth as JJ finished attaching the wire under your clothing, handing you the small in ear so you could hear updates from the team.

"We walk into the bar, get a little too close for comfort than they'd like, then ask the bartender where we can have some fun around here. She's been prepped to give us the answer we want, and we set out on the highway where Rossi and Hotch are waiting in unmarked cars to give us an escort until our unsub takes the bait and tries to pull us over."

"Good, now, Spencer, do I have to show you where to put your hands, or do you think you've read enough to figure out how to push the right buttons?" From the grin on his face, it was evident he was enjoy pushing the younger man's buttons but you could tell he wasn't doing it maliciously. The two of you were both tense and on edge, and you needed that waylaid somehow.

"Trust me, Morgan, I think he knows where his fingers should go." You said before grabbing Spencer’s hand and dragging him out of the vehicle, not letting him go until you were right by the door of the bar.

You didn't really let him go either, it's more like he caught up to you and moved his hand from yours to your ass instead, pulling you closer into his body as you made to move inside the bar.

He hesitated a moment outside, though.

"Y/N, we haven't talked about boundaries yet. I'm going to have to touch you in there and-"

"You have my permission. For anything." Your words come faster than you expect, but they're there, filling the silence of the night quickly.

"Anything?" He asks, a small play lighting up his lips as he pulls you in closer. You can feel his breath on your skin, and you almost take back your words until he lowers his head. Your lips are barely an inch apart and getting slowly closer as you angle your head up towards him, when the bar doors swing open and he turns and pulls you inside instead.

You recover quickly, trying to focus on the twelve women who need to find justice rather than the many things you suddenly want Spencer Reid to be doing to you.

You slide into a booth at the edge of the bar but you'd canvassed the place earlier, knowing that while it appeared to be a quiet corner, every other table had a clear view of your actions in the corner.

Surely enough you felt a few pairs of eyes on you as you sat down, a little closer for comfort than you expected.

"Well, Penelope's sources were correct. It seems like every cop in town is here tonight." You said, whispering the words into Spencer's neck, just above where his own wire was placed, making sure the words were heard by both him and the members of your team left in the surveillance van.

"Show time," he said, grabbing your hands and bringing them to his lips as you stood. He gave your ass a quick slap as you made to walk towards the bar, and you sent him back a wink as you walked to order your drinks.

Ordering them quickly, you took a simple scan of the room, noting that all three of your suspects were social butterflies tonight. They all sat on different tables, but each had at least another man with him, and every single one of them was looking at you presitorially.

Returning to your seat with the drinks, you never felt their gazes leave you.

"Certainly caught their attention. What now?" You asked hesitantly, sliding up against Spencer’s body again.

"Now we give them a show." He said, snaking a hand between your legs and forcing them apart gently. You'd changed into a shorter skirt and smaller top before coming back out, needing to look the part of the slut they'd already deemed you.

You smiled up at Spencer as he stoked your thigh suggestively, but he never moved it further up.

"Spencer, kiss me." You said, eyelids heavy as you begged the man to take you further than touching.

"Why?" He asked softly in your ear.

"Because a few of our suspects are getting restless, and I want to see if we can tip some of them over the edge. Obviously you're smarter than trying to stick your hand up my skirt in public surrounded by a group of cops who would happily stick you in a cell for the night for public indecency, so you're just going to have to stick your tongue down my throat."

"Here I was thinking maybe you wanted it," he grumbled but complied anyway, grabbing the back of your head with his free hand and pulling you towards him. The kiss wasn't soft. It wasn't gentle the way his caresses were. It was hot and it was demanding, and when he pulled away after a minute and your lips followed his desperate for more he grabbed your hair and pulled you backwards, baring your neck to him easily as he moved his lips down slightly.

Opening your eyes then, you again surveyed the bar, noting that the Captain and his friends were leaving, sending a stink eyed glare in your direction as they threw down their cups and left.

"Morgan, get eyes on the Captain. Make sure he goes home and stays there," you breathe out quietly, waiting to hear the affirmative in your ear as Spencer kept his head buried at your neck.

In another second, he was off you, taking a swig only his drink as he smoothed your hair down again. You do your best to ignore the history pooling between your legs and the haze clouding up your brain as you stare at him swallow the drink, watching a small stream of the soda you'd ordered him instead run down his chin.

You watched it fall and, in a moment of thoughtlessness, pressed forward to lap it up from his neck. He'd spent time marking you. What harm could this do now?

However you rationalised it, you knew it was just an impulse, one greatly rewarded by his hands pulling your hips over his and a growl in your ears.

"Anything?" Was the only thing he said, and you pulled away to look into his eyes again before he pulled you in for another kiss.

"Sorry to interrupt, love bunnies, but we've had a change of plan. Two of our suspects are out, and they've bailed and been safely and discreetly escorted home by FBI agents from the field office. Hotch and Rossi are on the way back. He thinks we can nail him in there and get him to act out."

Pulling back from the kiss long enough to whisper your reply to Morgan into Spencer's mic, you can barely tear your eyes away from the man.

"What do you want us to do?"

"Men's bathroom is free. Hotch thinks if we make it look like you're doing something less than holy in there that it could force his hand. Especially because he's shown voyeuristic tendencies in the past."

"Shit. Detective Dumbass?"

"Only one left. And his name is Dunbar. You'd do well to remember that in the paperwork."

Pulling yourself up and out of Spencer's lap, you took a swig of your drink again as you stood.

"Follow me in three minutes." He grabs you by your wrist and turns you back around to him again, though before you can leave.

"Y/N, we're going to get this guy. After we do, I think we should talk." Instead of answering him, you pressed another lingering kiss to his lips and moved out again, heading directly to the dark corridor where the bathrooms were.

You slipped into the men's easily enough, thankful that it was empty. It was a single stall, and when you heard the knock on the door two minutes later, you were suddenly thankful that it was, because it meant that you could lock the door behind him and not risk anyone else coming in while you baited your unsub.

Spencer placed a hand to his lips as soon as he made it through the door, pulling out his phone to type out a message to you without speaking.

"Followed me. Think he's listening outside."

You pulled your own out to answer him.

"Let's give him a show then."

The both of you discarded your phones on the countertop of the bathroom and suddenly collided again, as if you were two magnets who could no longer resist the pull.

Your lips fought hungrily, and now you didn't pull back your voice letting all the moans of pleasure fall from your mouth and fill the bathroom.

His hands were on you in an instant, pushing you back against the door, letting the creep behind the wall hear as much as possible as his hips found yours and you started grinding against him like your life depended on it.

You could no longer tell what you were doing for the case, and what you were doing out of the simple desire to do so, wrapped up in all of the pleasure he was giving you in that minute. And that was before he started talking.

"You like that, whore? You like feeling my hands on you out here in this dirty bathroom." You clenched around nothing, even as his hands trailed lower, reaching the top of your skirt just as you replied.

"Yes, I like that, Daddy. Please touch me more."

You crashed together again, even as Spencer's hand fell inside your skirt and panties suddenly reaching for your clit. You forgot everything. The bathroom, the unsub, the wire you were wearing. When his hands were on you your only thoughts were him.

You gasped in delight as he began rubbing you, moaning out heartily, not bothering to restrain your voice. Even if there was not a murderer on the other side of the door, you'd have wanted everyone to know how good he was making you feel.

"Kneel," he says, and you listen, getting down to the dirty floor for him and looking up at him innocently.

"Now what, sir?" You ask, teasing him with a smile. He gives your face a light slap in reply, but the sound is sharp, and you can hear some movement outside. You don't get to think about it for too long, however, as he suddenly removes his cock from his pants.

"Suck" is all the instruction you need before you're taking him into your mouth and wrapping your tongue around him.

After the entire night of teasing, you don't have to be told twice. You take him down your throat until you're gagging, but he puts his hands on your head and pushes you further anyway.

"That's it, baby, such a nice little slut just for me." He holds your hair as he begins fucking your face, softly whispering insults into the quiet bathroom.

"Perfect little slut, letting me do this here. For anyone to see and hear how much you like my dick down your throat. I should unlock this door, show everyone how nicely you take my cock."

You moan around him, desperately gripping his thigh as you struggle to breathe. He finally pulls out, pulling you up by your hair until you're face to face with him again, saliva dripping from your mouth.

"Is that how you like it?" He asks, and you nod fervently.

"Yes, sir. Please fuck me now, I've been such a good little girl."

He turns you and presses you against the door again. As you turn your ear to it, you can hear some pacing outside of it as he lifts up your skirt.

You were ready to feel this perfect bliss, right up to the moment Morgan decided to remind you of the task at hand.

"Hotch is here. We've got him cornered. Great acting, guys. We're thinking if Y/N exits the bathroom now, we can catch him trying to carry her off."

His hands stilled on you, and you both stared guiltily into each other's eyes. You kept your sounds up, definitely acting now, feeling as though you'd just been doused in ice-cold water.

Footsteps retreating down the hall had you suddenly nodding in response to each other, faking your orgasm with one last large gasp followed by a few minutes of silence and you straightened your clothes ready to bait the unsub once again. He tucks himself into his pants, and you loudly discuss your plans for separate exits.

"I'll meet you back at the table in five." He says, and with another lingering look, you're out the door and alone in the dark corridor, feeling empty and needy.

It was time to catch a killer.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid kinktober #criminal minds kinktober #kinktober 23

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acis-arts · 5 months

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Hello everyoneee, I got super busy recently, but I was still able to do some art and writing in the meantime! Here's all my Cult Leader Designs as well as mentions of the AUs I have!!

Some of these will probably change over time, if I feel like it. I just wanna info dump on my AUs and I also think it's good to post how they currently look instead of waiting for too long.

Down below is the info dump on my AUs:

(Before you start reading: "Kali" is the name of my Lamb)

Lost Crowns AU (/Forgotten Lands of the Old Faith):

This AU was called "Forgotten Lands of the Old Faith" at first, but I refer to it as "Lost Crowns AU" mostly because that name fits too and is shorter.

This is my main AU! In it, the entire story of the game is pretty much unchanged, this AU focuses more on what happens after the events in the game. I haven't finished the game yet and I'm assuming after getting all Bishops, the game is pretty much done. (update because I wrote these notes some days ago: I got Shamura in my cult today so I finished the main story at last)

"A few days after freeing all the Bishops, Kali wakes up and something is missing. The Red Crown is gone, all Crowns are gone. They run to find Narinder and the Bishops, but none of them are behind it. Together, all 6 of them try to confront the Mystic Seller next, but upon arriving at the gate they were always situated in, they find nothing."

The Mystic Seller left the Lands of the Old Faith for good and took everything supernatural with them. I haven't thought about a solid reason for that yet, because my main idea behind this is that Kali and the others are now forced to live without all their supernatural powers. They can't perform Rituals, they can't resurrect, they can't summon weapons and none of the Follower necklaces work anymore. The only thing that was left is the immortality of Kali, Narinder and the Bishops. They won't age but the risk of dying permanently is there.

I have no idea if I want to keep this idea or if I want to scrap this, but I also thought about Kali finding a gateway into the lands of the Gods and together with Narinder, they try to find the Mystic Seller to get answers. The reason Narinder comes along is because he's more familiar with that place and Kali would need someone like that. The second reason obviously being that I want to pair them up and have them develop their relationship over this adventure (with a proposal at the end of it perhaps). Third reason: it's fun to have the Bishops take care of the Cult without Kali and Narinder around.

I have so much more stuff for this AU, but this is already so much text. Let's hope I get to post more in the future!

Swap AU:

This is pretty self explanatory and the majority of what I posted on here so far. As a short summary: Narinder is now the Last Cat remaining, becoming the Vessel of Kali as The One Who Waits

No Mercy AU:

This is based on the second save file I have in COTL, on which I'm trying to do an "evil route". In this AU, Kali isn't kind and optimistic, instead becoming a callous, cruel cult leader after receiving the Red Crown. Up until that moment, they were at the bottom of the food chain and upon receiving the power of a God, they were finally the one in control for the first time in their life. They decided to never let go of the Crown and their Powers.

Orange Crown AU:

This AU is pretty much just my close circle and me inserted into Cult of the Lamb. So far my partner and me are inserted as NariLamb and my brother is the Mystic Seller because he looks like them. This one is probably uninteresting to most of you, as you don't know any of us. I won't be posting that much about this and keep it private mostly, but maybe some of you are still interested in the art, so let's see.

As always, Thank you so much for reading up until this point!! I hope you all had a good week!

#art #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #lost crowns au #forgotten lands of the old faith #cotl swap au #swap au #cotl no mercy au #orange crown au

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fallingfor-fics · 2 months

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Meetings in Secret- Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Pairing: Step-Aunt Melissa x Step-Niece Reader (not blood relatives!!)

Word count: 11.6k DAMN this a whole book, if it does well i may make a part two

Warnings: fooling around with your step-moms sister, mild smut, fingering, grinding, some angst, drug and alcohol usage

Summary: You are 21 in college and meet Melissa at a family party and continue to run into her. You fall into a loop with her and she keeps dissapearing.

this was def not based on true events

Friday nights were always your favorite since you started college, and now you are freshly twenty-one meaning you prepare yourself all week for Friday nights. You and your friends would go out, have a blast, come home, and crash. Then you would do it again the next weekend. They were almost sacred nights now. So when you got a call from your step-mom saying her son's graduation party was on friday, you held in a displeased groan. Of course you said you would be there and dreaded the event. You did your hair and makeup, leaving your hair down and light makeup since it was mainly outdoors. You wore a simple skirt with a nice tank top and headed home just as it was about to hit seven.

When you arrived you took a deep breath and grabbed the card you got for your step-brother then headed inside. You could hear the music as soon as you got out of your car and your eyes went wide. There were a ton of cars parked in the front of the house and you heard the roar of chatter. Wafts of barbeque and beer came your way as you walked into the kitchen.

“Oh Y/n! I'm so glad you made it!” Your step-mom, Mary, said with a smile and came to give you a hug. “Your father is outside on the grill and Jude is outside with his friends.” she went back to cooking and you nodded.

“It smells great in here, what time did everyone get here? Sorry I'm a little late.”

“Oh it's fine people started arriving at five but they’ll be here all night.” she laughed. You looked out the window to see tables set up under canopies, with lights dangling all around, a balloon arch graced a window, and there was a large speaker playing music. Your jaw opened slightly, they didn't even go this big for your high school graduation. You turned back to Mary with a smile.

“That's a lot of people.”

“Yeah so we are trying to keep the inside off limits, unless it's for the restrooms.” she quipped in response as she bounced around the kitchen. You went outside and said hi to your dad before going to congratulate Jude.

“I got this card for you, Congratulations!” You said with a smile and he gave you a hug.

“Thanks Y/n.”

“Your mom really went all out.” you laughed and he nodded.

“Yeah I don't even remember some of these people, but hey mom’s letting me have a few beers so I can't complain.” You laughed before heading back inside to see if Mary needed any help.

After a couple more hours, people were dancing and mingling like crazy, drinks were flowing and people were either gossiping at tables or dancing by the speaker. You had to admit you were having a pretty good time, you had been hanging around your dad or just chilling by yourself for most of the night, but you were enjoying the people watching, and the juicy rumors people were chatting up. Your step mom called everyone in for a shot and your head started to hurt from the thought of that many people in the kitchen. You had also managed to avoid any introductions and didn't want that to change. You felt better with the drinks you had in your system and had already done a shot or two with Jude when no one was looking. Only the people that actually wanted a shot came inside, thank god, and you stood outside of the circle of people around the kitchen island where your stepmom was pouring the shots in these tiny plastic cups. Your dad yelled a salud to Jude and everyone cheered as they downed their shots. After that most people went back outside but a few hung around for another. When most cleared out of the way, through slightly fuzzy vision you saw a woman standing at the counter, red hair draped across her shoulders in smooth curls, and eyes that sparkled in the dim lighting. An angel- you thought to yourself. You looked away when you realized you had been staring and went to pour yourself another shot.

‘Oh do you want a glass of wine or a cocktail instead?” Mary asked from the sink and you shook your head.

“Nah thats okay im good with this and the beer selection isn't bad.” you said politely and she laughed, clearly more tickled due to her wine buzz she had going on. You took another shot and figured that was enough for now and went to the bathroom. As you were coming out you ran into your other step-brother, Anthony, who was older than you by a few years.

“Oh hey how’s it going?” you asked and he nodded.

“Not bad just got here. I was actually looking for you, you know I owe you for that time we smoked here fourth of july so I brought some stuff if you wanna come to my car?” he asked in a hushed tone and you looked around.

“Your mom still doesn't know you smoke? I don't think she will care. I mean Jude is shitfaced right now.” you said surprised and he shrugged.

“I guess. Come on I dont wanna risk it with the nosey neighbors and we are already being hella loud.” he pleaded and you nodded. You walked to his car, his cousin joining as well. He was parked under a tree and you got in the passenger seat, grabbing the lighter from the door and handing it to him. He gave you the joint to start up and you did, passing it to him as you looked out the window.

“So what happened with you and that girl you were seeing? The crazy one with the boyfriend?” you asked Anthony as his cousin nodded and handed you the joint from the back seat.

“Yeah, you're still seeing that girl?” she asked, leaning forward and he shook his head.

“Nah I ended that, I didnt wanna mess with that situation anymore.” he replied and you took a drag before handing it to him.

“What about you Y/n? You got a man?” his cousin, Ariel, spoke from the back and you laughed,

“No, I'm focusing on school right now.” you smiled and they nodded. You stayed and talked with them a while longer before you guys decided to head back to the party. You sprayed yourself with perfume and washed your hands when you got inside and paused to look at your reflection. You had a good crossfade going and started laughing as you thought of the fact you were going to have to spend the night now. You rolled your eyes before heading back to the kitchen.

Soon it was just you, Mary, another woman that was rather gorgeous but slightly older than Mary, and Ariel.

You smiled as you sipped on some water and talked with Ariel, your back to the patio door. You heard it open and didn't think anything of it until you felt someone come and stand next to you, her arm pushing into yours as she rested her hands on the counter.

“Hey Mary, can you make me another drink?” she asked with a cute smile that made your heart stop for a second. Okay maybe it was also the substances in your system but you caught your breath and turned back to Ariel.

“It's the angel.” you whispered to yourself.

“Hey Melissa, can you make it yourself?” she chirped and you raised your eyebrows. Mary saw and laughed, causing Melissa to turn and look at you. Her smile softened at the sight of you and she stood up straight, looking over your appearance.

“And who is this beautiful young woman?” Melissa asked and you hesitated to speak, the wave of nerves almost suffocating you.

“That's Y/n, Christopher's daughter. You met at the wedding but Y/n is always away at school for any of the parties we have here.” Mary answered as she started to make Melissa’s drink. “Y/n this is my younger sister, Melissa.” you nodded now vaguely remembering her. Your dad and Mary got married right before you left for college so you didn't see much of her family.

“Oh I didn't even recognize you, you have changed so much.” Melissa said with a smile and you weren't quite sure if that was a good thing or not.

“Well I grew my hair longer and stopped dying it. I also cooled it with heavy makeup.” You rambled, the drinks in you allowing your tongue to roll words right off it at a rather impressive speed, for your current state at least.

“I see. You have such beautiful hair sweetheart.” she said with excitement in her voice clearly a result from some drinks. She moved her hand to run her fingers through the ends, her fingers grazing your back through it. You felt a chill travel up your spine and your cheeks grew hot.

“Thank you, but you have the most beautiful hair I have ever seen.” you said softly and she smiled.

“Awe thanks hon.” she rubbed your back then grabbed her drink from Mary. “Are you coming with us girls to go shopping tomorrow?” she asked and Mary looked up with a smile.

“Oh yeah Y/n I wanted to ask you but I got so busy cooking. We would love to have you. We are just going to hit up some shops in town.” Your step mom said sincerely as she took a sip of her wine. You felt Melissa looking at you and you met her glance for a second. Her eyes were firm yet dazzling. You felt as if she was challenging you, but not threatening, rather observing your response and demeanor. You nodded with a smile and Mary cheered and Melissa's satin lips curved into a cocky smile.

The next day you got up early to shower and get dressed, you wore denim shorts and a baby tee with sneakers and did some light makeup. You had slept in your room that was right across from the guest room, which you learned Melissa was staying in and you struggled to sleep with that fact circling in your head. This encourages you to wake up and get ready though. Because now you had a reason to get put together before you were seen by her in your pajamas with your hair a mess.

You step out of your room and see Melissa sitting in the kitchen, her back to you and Mary sat next to her with a cup of coffee. You took a breath and walked up to them with a smile.

“Good morning.” You said to them as you got a cup of water.

“Morning sweetie.” Mary chirped, Melissa looked up at you with a smile and muttered a greeting before going back to her phone.

It wasn't until you all went to load into the car that you realized you were a seat short. You offered to ride in the trunk but Mary refused.

“I think we can all fit if we squeeze.” Ariel muttered and you sighed. Melissa turned to you with a smile.

“You can sit on my lap if you need to hon.” she said casually in her rough and seductive voice. Your cheeks grew hot and it took every muscle of restraint to decline the offer. I mean you had to give yourself a pat on the fucking back at the willpower you had to say no to this. You knew it wasn't right to say yes since she was just offering to be nice and you respected her too much. You shook your head and laughed.

“Um I'll just take my car, and follow you up.” you said moving to grab your keys.

“Oh ok thanks for doing that.” Mary said and you nodded, “Go with her, Melissa, so she's not alone and so we all fit comfortably.” Mary ordered, gesturing to Melissa to walk to your car.

“Is that okay with you?” she asked and you nodded in shock. She walked up to you and grabbed the keys from your hand. You allowed her, not saying anything and just smiling. “I'll drive if that's ok.”

“Go right ahead.” you said and you walked to the passenger side. The car ride went fast, Melissa asking you about school, and you asking her about work. You learned she taught at an elementary school and that thought only fueled the butterflies. She said what you were studying was cool and that also made you blush a bit. You knew you couldn't keep thinking this, but it was hard. She was very affectionate, I mean they all were, but she would alway place hands on your arm or back and she always held eye contact. You were confused from all the signals getting crossed. Of course you knew she was just being nice, but you couldn't help the way your mind wandered about her every time you would lock eyes.

You split off to go shopping with Ariel and met back up with the others for lunch. Melissa sat next to you and you smiled up at her, she had her hair down but was wearing a casual yet very flattering sundress that had thin straps. You didn't notice any bra straps which made you think she either wasn't wearing one or had a strapless one on. As if she was reading your mind, she let out a sigh and her hands went to the fabric on her chest.

“I got one of these stupid sticky bras and the damn thing is falling off.” she muttered to the table and you all laughed. Your step-mom went on to share her own experience with those heinous creations and Melissa continued to mess around and you once again turned your focus away from her.

“Oh my god, should I just take it off.” she laughed turning to you and you laughed along.

“Just go to the bathroom and fix it.” you suggested, her knee was pressed to yours and you couldn't help your eyes accidentally glancing to her chest for a second.

“I mean look at that.” she said, holding the top of her dress out for you to see her dilemma. You felt your chest tighten and you panicked inside. The Schemmentis were all very open and close with each other, and you loved to be able to be a part of it all, but this moment had you wanting to drift away in a gust of wind to never be seen again. You couldn't help it and you looked down quickly before nodding and looking away.

“Yup yeah that sucks.” you said as you took a sip of your water. By the time you all got home you were ready to go back to campus and see your friends. You said goodbye to everyone and drove an hour back to school. Before you left Melissa gave you a hug and you felt her soft hands around your back, one resting on the exposed skin of your waist from your cropped shirt. Her hands were warm along with her skin which was silky soft and radiant. You cleared your head and quickly got into your car to leave. You only had a few more weeks of school, and wanted to hang out with your friends as much as possible.

The next Friday you and your friends took a trip to Philly a few hours away to visit another friend that you hadnt seen in awhile. They had mentioned this popular gay club you and your friends wanted to check out so of course you agreed to go with.

“Yeah I guess it's owned by a famous drag queen, it's in Milwaukee though it's just so far and not worth checking out ya know?” Your friend said to you in the uber on the way to the club, no one wanted to be sober tonight so the Uber was necessary. Your hair was down and you were wearing a little black body con dress with sequins on it and some cute black heels. Currently you were reapplying your lipgloss since the pregaming rubbed some off and you needed to look good tonight. You arrived at the place and you and your friends all cheered when you got inside. The place was two stories, with the second floor being balconies that looked down onto the first that had a large dance floor and of course the bar.

“Follow me!” your friend said and you all grabbed hands as you moved through people. You noticed the crowd was full of all kinds of people. Some were younger, some were older, but everyone seemed to be having a good time. You were led upstairs where you found another bar, and then booths and high tables placed around under the colorful lighting. You all went to the bar and ordered some drinks, you noticed all the tables up here were full and your friend suggested you go dance. You all agreed and finished your drinks before going back downstairs. You took a second to have another shot and as you were walking to catch up to your friends you saw through the tables of people, on the other side of the room, flaming hair and a glowing smile that erupted with laughter sitting in a booth. You realized who it was and your heart stopped as you admired her. You wondered if you should say hi or just sneak away, as you pondered, one of your friends came up to you.

“Come on, Y/n” she said and you turned to look at her muttering an apology. You looked back up at Melissa and she was sipping her drink, she must have felt your relentless stare because she looked up and before her eyes landed on you, you were walking downstairs with your friend. Melissa caught a glimpse of you walking away and saw the shine of your hair and furrowed her brows. She assured herself it was just someone else but she couldn't get the image of you out of her head. She walked over to the bar and got a beer, taking it over to the balcony. She leaned over it looking down at the mass of people dancing and her eyes darted through the group. There were so many people squished together she felt her eyes sting as she focused looking through them, searching for your smile. Finally she smiled when she saw you and your friends pulling each other to the dance floor, thankful she wasn't crazy after all. The lights swirled around your face and you danced freely but with elegance to the music. Things slowed down as drinks started to flow and you smiled at the feeling. Time slowed for Melissa as well while she watched you dancing in the haze of smoke and music, your friend moved up behind you and you pressed against her, grinding to the beat and laughing as you did so. Melissa felt her breath catch and her smile grew. She admired your beauty and confidence mixed with your overall humble attitude. The innocence you wore underneath all of that was pulling Melissa in and she took a sip of her beer when she felt her throat going dry. When she looked back down, your friends were coming back from the bar down below, empty shot glasses left in your place at the counter. You kept dancing with your friends and Melissa felt a twitch of jealousy in her. Her brow raised slightly and she sucked her teeth with a smirk. She couldnt peel her eyes away from you, your hips, your face, the way you moved up against your friends, it all enchanted her.

You smiled and laughed while your friend put her hands on your hips and you both moved along to the music. It was already hot in the room with the amount of people there, but you felt your face heat up even more all of the sudden and you opened your eyes fully and slowed your dancing a bit. You felt eyes on you and something drew you to look upstairs. Immediately bright green eyes were locked on yours. Your hips didnt stop moving as you stared up at the woman, She was smirking at you and you hesitated in reacting. You were fairly tipsy by this point and you had all smoked before coming so when your eyes landed on her you were rather stunned. You couldn't help but smile at her, a sheepish and regretfully seductive smile that caused her to smile back in return. Your friend turned to push her back against you and you instinctively did so, your hips once again moving in sync. Melissa watched in envy from above and sipped her beer, giving you one last glance before walking away.

You snapped out of your haze and stopped dancing, casually enough to not raise concern, and then said you were going to the bathroom. Your friends nodded and you went upstairs. Fueled by alcohol-induced confidence and of course delusion, you looked for Melissa in the large circle of people. You spotted her table from earlier and you saw her sitting with three other women. From a distance you watched, observing to see if any of these women could be with her. That's when you realized… Melissa was at a gay bar. Which meant one of two things, her queer friends invited her, or Melissa didn't just like men. You knew she had been married and divorced to one but didn't think anything of it. Your heart started to beat faster and you let out a breath, now unsure about going up to her. What good could that do? While you pondered Melissa had seen you standing over by the bar alone and made her way over to you.

“You really shouldn't be alone hon.” a raspy voice chirped from behind you and your head snapped to look at her.

“I was just up here looking for the bathroom.” you said and she nodded, gesturing you to follow her. By how quickly she took you to the bathroom your senses pointed towards option two of your possibilities for Melissa being here and you sighed to yourself. Melissa held your hand as she led you and you smiled as you kept up with her. When you got out of the bathroom Melissa was waiting outside it, leaning up against the wall of the hallway that was semi-secluded from the rest of the loud music and voices. You smiled at her when you got out and you took advantage of your current situation and looked at her with a grin. She raised a brow and you sighed.

“So.” you paused looking up at her, “What are you doing in a place like this?” The words dragged out of your mouth but somehow managed to be quick enough that you couldn't properly phrase the question and you made a face at your choice of words. She scoffed with a smile and crossed her arms casually.

“I could ask you the same thing.” she said softly and you nodded.

“I'm just here with my friends for the weekend.” you said shrugging and she pushed herself off the wall to step closer to you. You looked in her eyes and she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Why are you really here Y/n?” she said with confidence and you felt your knees go weak.

“I told you, my friends brought me.” you replied and she shook her head.

“Come on. Be a good girl and tell me what I want to hear.” she said getting serious and you almost melted right there. You wouldn't believe what just came from her mouth. This woman you had met twice, and oh yeah, who was also your step..aunt? You swallowed and she smirked.

“My dad didn't tell you I like girls… well, women.” you slurred out a bit with a sly smirk and she tilted her head at you.

“I get the feeling you didn't tell him.” you looked at her plainly and laughed, shrugging it off and she stepped closer once again. You felt your back hit the other wall and you couldn't help a small grin.

“My family doesn't know, I'm very private. I'm not currently seeing anyone. I am as clean as a whistle. I like all women but have a soft spot for redheads.” you rambled out, your eyes softening at the last part as you winked. You would be the first to admit you were fairly drunk at this point.

“Anything else you wanna know? Oh, I'm wearing black lace panties.” you muttered as you teased her and you went pale when you realized what you said. Embarrassment took over and Melissa just smiled at you with a cocky and mysterious smile. You didn't say a word and just turned to walk away, but she grabbed your arm and pulled you into her, her hands cupped your face and she kissed you softly but with a desire so strong it made your stomach flip. You kissed her back, running your hands through her hair and pulled away with a sigh to catch your breath. Your eyes widened when you realized and you looked down shaking your head.

“I'm so sorry.” was all you said before walking away to find your friends.

“Damn did you throw up or something?” One said from their spot at the bar. You laughed and shook your head.

“No, I ran into a friend.”

Your friends were growing tired and you were all about ready to head back. As you were closing out your tab your friends ordered the Uber and used the restroom. You signed the check and thanked the bartender, putting your card back into your purse. The Uber came and you left with your friends.

That was the last time you saw Melissa for months.

It took a couple days but after your kiss with Melissa you were able to eventually shove it away in the deep dark depths of your brain. You were currently at a work event for the organization you were interning at, and the event was at a nice history museum in Philly. It was a more formal event and you decided to just stay the night in a hotel instead of driving back. You were wearing a very simple yet elegant dress and some smaller heels. Due to your anxiousness you arrived early and decided to drop your stuff at the hotel first. The office made the reservation and covered the hotel expenses, so your room was rather fancy. It was on the top floor of the hotel and had a large king bed and a chaise lounge that sat in front of a large window that overlooked the city. You gasped at the sight and held in a scream at how gorgeous and amazing this was. You looked at your watch and saw it was almost time to head out so you fixed yourself in the bathroom mirror, and then grabbed your phone and purse before heading out.

You got there fifteen minutes early, and walked up the steps of the museum looking around at all the dimly lit architecture that graced the outside walls. You gawked at how magnificent and intricate it was and continued to do so as you made your way in. There were signs pointing you where you needed to go and eventually you saw some of your coworkers. You mingled with them for a bit and grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waitress as you waited for your boss to arrive.

“Oh Y/n, you see that group of people over there? Those are the investors we are trying to impress tonight.” one of the other interns whispered to you and you looked over in the direction she pointed. You saw a bunch of people in suits that definitely looked the part and raised your brows.

“Wow, they are the real deal. Too bad we can't talk to them.” You laughed.

“Who says you can't?” you heard your boss chime in from beside you and you looked at her with a smile.

“No one really, just myself.” you replied and she nudged your arm.

“It's all about networking darling, and anyone can network.” she smiled and then walked to the front of the crowd.

Did you want to fuck your boss? Yes of course you did. She was brilliant. However at this point in time you knew better, and you needed this job. That didn't stop her from flirting with you, and she actually did flirt, it wasn't in your head. Only reason you know that is because even your friends at work thought so.

After her speech was over you were free to walk the museum, you decided to go checkout the best exhibit they had-- the planetarium. This was always your favorite part of museums and with how fancy this one was you knew it had to be pretty astounding. You decided to go to the bathroom before you went to the exhibit, and as you stopped to read the map on the wall to see where the closest one was, you saw people out of the corner of your eye. Naturally you glanced at them before looking back at the map. However, you recognized a face and you felt your cheeks grow warm, you slowly looked back over out of fear you could be right, and your eyes went wide when you saw the familiar glow of red hair. You watched as Melissa walked slowly, looking at some boring historic artifacts, arm hooked in the arm of… a man. You held back the disapproving glare that tugged to appear on your face and you decided to just turn back around. You decided to stare at the map until they had walked by. Eventually you lost track of how long you had been there, checking your phone to see it was definitely not longer than three minutes. You exhaled and before you could go to turn around you felt a hand on your back, stroking your hair.

“Hey Y/n.” you heard a velvety voice mutter your name and you felt a ping in your chest. Turning to face her with a smile, you fidget with your watch and look around for the man that was accompanying her.

“Hi.” you let out, your eyes locking with hers. You looked over her and your chest grew numb as your eyes traced over her curves that were gracefully accentuated by her dress.

“What brings you to a place like this?” she asked with a grin and you laughed at her mocking question.

“I could ask you the same thing. We have got to stop meeting like this.” you joke with a light blush on your cheeks as you smile. Trying your best to play your role as a perfectly normal college kid who did not kiss a step relative at a gay club.

“Looking for the bathroom I presume?” she asked and you nodded, slightly embarrassed. “It's that way.” she said and you nodded in realization. Soon the man she was with came from one of the staff only doors and came to stand next to her, a hand on her back.

“Hey, thanks for waiting.” He said to her before looking over at you with a small smile.

“No, problem I was just catching up with Y/n here she is my sister's stepdaughter.” she said with haste, “Y/n this is Clint he works here at the museum.” she said and you nodded.

“Nice to meet you. Clint.” you said enunciating the ‘t’ as you looked at Melissa.

“To clarify I actually own part of the museum not just a regular employee,” he said casually and You saw Melissa's eyes flicker to yours, she was reading your face for a reaction and her eyes softened as she listened to this preppy douche talk about himself, she felt embarrassment creep up on her as she watched you watching him. How could she stand here in front of an intelligent and beautiful girl like you with her arm linked to a man that was barely in Melissa's league and even she knew that for certain. “What brings you here?” he finally asked.

“I'm here for a work event.” you nodded and he had an “ah-ha” look on his face.

“Ahh yes, you’re with Smith Archives right?” he asked and your lips flattened.

“Yup, I'm interning there.” you replied politely and Melissa furrowed her brows.

“Wow hon that's a long drive home.” she asked with more concern laced in her voice than she intended and you just looked down.

“I'm staying the night, they put me up in a hotel a few blocks from here.” Her face relaxed and you saw a mischievous twinkle in her eyes for a second before you cleared your throat to break the silence.

“Well it was nice seeing you but I have to get going. Good to meet you, Clin-t.” You said quickly before smiling and turning to head in the direction of the bathroom. The slight sting of jealousy trickled in your head and you rolled your eyes at your own reactions to everything.

The exhibit was beautiful as you expected. The giant dome was lit up with the night sky and you sat in one of the seats, staring up at them as the soft sound of a narrator explained the astronomy facts. No one else was in there so you got to enjoy it in peace. Amongst the stars you zoned out, thinking of Melissa and convincing yourself this will all pass just like last time. You felt your head hurt from the stress and you took a deep breath. You sat there for at least two rounds of the little speech and were debating on staying for one more before you flinched slightly at a voice from behind you.

“Magnificent isn't it?” you turned to see your boss, Vivian, standing with her arms crossed as she looked around. You stood up and leaned on the backs of the seats.

“Yeah it is, I'm surprised we are the only ones here.” you muttered as you looked over her frame. Vivian was gorgeous, but her mind, it was her mind that was so brilliant it never failed to reel you in, the way she spoke, and carried herself often left you in a haze. She was so humble and reserved yet gave you just enough to leave you on your toes. She had long dark gray hair with white sprinkled through it, despite only being forty-eight. She had strong cheekbones and piercing brown eyes that were so inviting yet intimidating.

“Yeah well everyone is at the Dinosaur exhibit.” she laughed and you let out a soft giggle.

“That makes perfect sense. Did we have any luck with the investors?” you asked and she didn't answer she just turned to look at you with a smile.

“I want to ask you something Y/n.” she said softly as she walked past you to stand closer to the front of the dome, her head looking around at the stars in front of her.

“Yeah what's up?” you asked, trying to appear normal. She turned to look at you and you smiled.

“You know, you are very good at your job,” she paused and you felt your heart stop- oh god were you getting fired right now? “And I really value having you here but there is just one small issue. It is hard for me to help you get the most out of this position when you look at me like you want to fuck me.” Your eyes went wide and your jaw dropped.

“What?” was all you could croak out and she smiled, a soft laugh leaving her lips.

“Its okay Y/n, I know you don't mean to, and I can't blame you,” she said, gesturing to herself and you laughed awkwardly, “but this brings me to my question.” she started and you nodded for her to continue, you were unsure if this situation could get any crazier so why not.

“Are you able to get over this little infatuation or do I have to fulfill your fantasy in order for you to move on?” The words left her lips all too quickly and you felt your knees buckle as you leaned on the seats, she walked over to stand in front of you and you smiled up at her. If this was really happening you knew you had to take the opportunity. She stood over you and raised a hand to tuck hair behind your ear. The gesture made your heart ache and you were suddenly reminded of Melissa. You knew nothing could ever come from either of these situations, but your cons were longer for hooking up with Melissa than they were with Vivian. Melissa was never going to do the things you wanted her to and you had accepted that in this moment and allowed yourself to give in to pleasure. Vivian leaned down and hummed waiting for a response.

“No one will know?” you asked with a smile and half lidded eyes as you looked at her, standing to meet her face to face.

“Where’s the fun in telling?” she scoffed and you smirked, she moved a hand to brush a thumb over your lips and her other moved to rest on your waist. Just as she was about to lean in to kiss you, you saw movement behind her and you backed away, she did the same. Standing away from you nonchalantly. She relaxed when she saw it wasn't a coworker but you tensed up further when you saw Melissa standing there with a face full of confusion and shock. She didn't know how to feel and could only identify the jealousy she felt burning in her chest.

“Sorry to interrupt.” she laughed bitterly, before turning and walking out. You watched as she left the dome and you looked down.

“Did you know her?” Vivian asked and you nodded, “Hmm, ex?” she asked and you shook your head.

“No, it's complicated.” was all you said. Though you were surprised, that's what Vivian's first guess was.

“Well whoever she is, the way she was looking at you really reminded me of the way you look at me.” she laughed and your eyes snapped up to hers.

“Really?” you asked and she nodded. You looked at your watch and saw that the event was technically over. “I have to go Vivian.” you said with a shaky voice from the anxiety coursing through you.

“Go ahead Y/n. we can always pick up where we left off another time.” she winked and you ignored the small flutter in your stomach as you said goodnight, placing a kiss to her cheek, and then leaving the exhibit. You practically jogged down the hall, you looked all over and couldn't find her, the last place you looked being the front of the museum. You slowed when you saw her standing on the curb. You walked over and took a breath before coming to stand beside her. You didn't say anything and she looked at you.

“Was that your boss?” she asked and you nodded which earned a scoff from Melissa and you rolled your eyes. “I see you do have a type, though she looked a little too old for you.” she joked with a slight sting behind her words that fueled your own jealousy.

“Where is your date, Flint?” you asked with a smile and she sighed.

“Clint, and he is pulling the car up.”

“Where did you, uh, meet him?” you asked and she crossed her arms, both of you not looking at one another.

“I met him on a field trip here, this is only our second date.” she spoke softly and it set off a signal in your brain. She seemed more mellow than usual, she seemed unhappy and all out of pep. You thought maybe she was just tired but didn't want to ask. You decided to bite your tongue and not make any more remarks about the topic. Soon you saw a car in the distance pulling around and knew you didn't have much time.

“Melissa.” you said and she looked at you.

“Yeah hon?”

"Who were you with at the club that one night?” the simple question came out rather judgemental and you looked down.

“My friends from work. Why do you ask sweetie?” she said and you felt your heart swell at the pet name. You felt your cheeks grow hot and she sensed your nerves. She knew you wanted to ask her something else and just couldn't find the push you needed. “I date whoever I want, hon.” she said casually, leaning closer to your ear and you furrowed your brows. She gestured around and you realized what she was alluding to and you nodded.

“What did you really want to ask me?” she said and you looked down.

“I can't, not now, as much as I want to.” you said softly. You both turned to look at one another and Melissa smiled.

“What’s there to lose?” she said and your eyes met hers, she could see the desire lit within your gaze, she knew exactly what you wanted. Now it was up to her to decide, she had you at her fingertips and she wasn't going to let this chance pass by.

“Who says anything has to happen sweetheart?” she said assertively and you just smiled. Clint came pulling up and you looked at Melissa. Clint got out of the car to open her door and she put her arm around your waist gently and looked at him with sympathy.

‘Hey Clint, I'm actually going to take Y/n back to her hotel room. She isn't feeling too well and I want to make sure she gets there okay.” You didn't say anything and just hid the smile that crept at the corners of your lips.

“Oh ok I can follow and take you back to your place after?” he offered and she shook her head.

“No, that's okay, i'll take a taxi. Have a good night thanks.” She looked at you with a smile and you grabbed your purse.

“I'm driving this time.” you chirped and she laughed, grabbing your hand and walking to your car. The ride to the hotel was so tense you thought you wouldn't make it there without the car breaking down from the sheer weight of it. Your legs were spread slightly and your dress was riding up. Melissa tried to keep her gaze under control but you eventually caught her looking and smiled. Your cheeks flushed and you looked out the window. The wind coming in from the cracks of the windows chilled your face and made your cheeks grow rosy. The slight humidity in the air was comforting and you couldn't help but smile as you looked out at the streets. Soon you were arriving at the Hotel and you felt your chest tighten as you got out of the car.

“This is a very nice hotel.” she said as you followed her in and you laughed. As you walked through the lobby you spotted the bar and looked at Melissa.

“Are you tired?” you asked and she shook her head.

“Want to get a drink?" you said, gesturing to the bar.

“Always.”

After two hours of talking and nursing a few beers as well as two cocktails and a shot, you and Melissa moved to just drinking water, and went to sit on the patio. You sat facing each other on the couch, your knees tucked up and your elbow resting on the back of the sofa. You and Melissa were talking about all kinds of things, getting to know each other, and joking around together. It was one of the best nights you’d had in a while, where you were truly having fun and getting to just exist in the moment.

“Ugh do we have to go to bed? I could sit here talking all night” you stated simply and she smirked. As if she did it herself, you felt your throat dry up and you went to grab your water, taking large sips you felt a drop trickle down from the corner of your mouth and down your chin. Melissa let out a shaky breath and you set the glass down looking at her. She raised her hand to your face slowly, not taking her eyes from yours.

“What do you want to do sweetie?” she said as her thumb wiped the water off your chin and you felt your chest go hot and your breathing grew shallow. You decided there was no going back now and you smiled. The drinks were flowing and you felt fuzzy, the kind of tipsy you usually only got from wine.

“What I want to do isn’t appropriate.” you muttered with a grin, tearing your eyes from her and looking down into your water glass.

“If you are gonna say things like that Y/n, say them with confidence.” she quipped and you looked up at her with big eyes that soon turned hazy.

“Why were you on a date with Clint?” you asked as you were told to, your back straight, and your voice clear.

“I have needs. I know he was an idiot.” she said simply.

“How many women have you been with?” you said swiftly and she looked down and then sucked her teeth.

“I don't think you want to know.” she shrugged and you furrowed your brows.

“I've never been with one.” you said looking at her with a shy gaze and her smile softened. She knew from the moment she first saw you that there was a sweetness in you and she could tell by your body language and the way that her words affected you that you were inexperienced and searching for the right woman's touch.

“I know hon.” she nodded and you felt your cheeks heat up again at how easily she saw right through you. The air grew thick as you admired each other and you looked over her face in awe.

“Why did you kiss me that night?” The question left your lips softly but with speed, you didn't regret asking it though.

“Do I need a reason?” she said with humor and you moved to sit closer, your knees touching hers.

“Why won’t you kiss me now?” you said with confidence, and you held the same challenging look on your face that Melissa had months ago. She smiled and looked you up and down slowly, your skin melting under her fiery gaze. Your core tightened and your eyes darted between hers.

“Do you want me to, baby?” she said softly with a teasing tone and you felt your heart swell. Her hand moved to play with your hair as she looked in your eyes. Her eyes searched yours for the answer and you felt the weight of her gaze cause the rise of tension and lust to float in the air. You could feel your cheeks tingle like pricks of a needle on your soft skin. You nodded and she raised a brow, waiting for more.

“Yes, I want you to kiss me.” you practically shouted with a laugh and she didn't hesitate to grab your waist and pull you in, her lips devouring yours as a hand moved to grasp your jaw. You moaned into the kiss and pushed your chest against hers as she moved her other hand from your hip to grab your ass. Her hand then slid under your thigh to hook under your knee and lift it to her hip, causing your core to press against her as you moved to straddle her. You felt a fire erupt in your core at the action and you swear her skilled mouth caused you to almost climax there and then. The heat between the both of you was so strong with one strong gust of wind you would have set the whole hotel ablaze. You moaned and she pulled away from the kiss, admiring your glossy eyes and puffy lips with her own lips being slightly pink around the edges.

“What else do you want me to do?” she said out of breath and you just pulled her back in for a kiss, you let her tongue roam your mouth and find a pattern with your own. Your stomach grew hot and you felt your core tighten around nothing. You answered her question by grabbing her hand and moving it between your legs and she groaned into your mouth, causing a wave of arousal to wash over you.

“God honey you are soaked for me huh?” she muttered between kisses and you nodded, she kissed along your neck as her hand moved your dress up and slid her hand into your panties. You moaned as she moved her fingers over your clit and pleased you with precision you weren't surprised by.

“Fuck Melissa- I want you so bad.” you whined out and she pulled away, removing her hand and grabbing yours.

“Come on baby.” she said as you stood up and walked back inside, you headed to your room and the moment you got in the elevator Melissa was pushing you against the wall, her hands roaming your body as you tangled your hands in her hair, and moaned against her lips. The sounds you made echoed in the small area and only spurred Melissa on. The ding chimed loudly to alert you of your arrival and you broke away from her, digging in your purse for your key as you stepped out. Melissa kept an arm around your waist as you walked to your room, which you couldn't unlock due to the nerves and drinks in your system causing you to miss the slot. Melissa grabbed it from you and did it with ease and you smiled at her.

“Thank you.” You opened the door and led Melissa inside, shutting the door behind you and locking it.

“Holy shit this is a nice room.” she said looking around and you nodded. When she turned to face you again, you were taking off your heels and pulling your dress off over your head. Her eyes grew heavy with lust and she walked over to you, cupping your face and pulling you in for a kiss, she backed you up to the bed and she pushed you back. You climbed up and sat against some pillows, your legs spread. She watched and bit her lip as she admired your frame. She took her own shoes off and hesitated.

“Fuck you are gorgeous. You sure you want this baby? Once I fuck you, we can't go back.” she said firmly and you nodded eagerly. She slipped her own dress off and you felt your breath hitch at the sight of her. Her body was gorgeous, absolutely perfect. You wanted to feel her skin under your fingertips and trace her curves for the rest of your life.

“I want you more than anything I've ever wanted.” you said with a lovestruck voice and she smiled.

She came up and straddled you, immediately kissing you again with force, her teeth sinking into your bottom lip earning a surprised and throaty gasp from you. She looked down at you and moved her hand to cup your center. You admired her as she rubbed circles on your sensitive core. Her eyes were sparkling, and her lips were turned up at the corners in a smirk. You moaned into her kiss as she continued to move her hand. Her thighs laid over yours and the warmth of hers around you felt like heaven. She pulled away to breath and you looked each other in the eyes, her hand came out of your panties and to your lips, she brushed her thumb over your lip and you looked at her with doe eyes. Your hands rested on her ass, and she looked down at you with a smile.

“Open.” she said softly and you didn't hesitate to open your mouth and allow her to slip two fingers in. You sucked on them not tearing your eyes from hers as your tongue did circles around them. Melissa pulled them out of your mouth slowly before allowing them to return to their spot on your clit, your warm saliva touching your slit caused you to groan and Melissa kissed your open mouth, her tongue diving in and swirling around yours, finding a rhythm as you kissed back, you rocked your hips into her hand, causing her arm to press against her own center. Your hands squeezed her ass and nudged her towards you gently, she arched into you, her chest against yours as she continued to kiss you roughly. Without warning she slid her fingers into you and you let out a loud moan into the kiss and she smiled, pulling away to hover just above your mouth, your lips almost touching as she curled her fingers inside you, deep and rough. Your brows furrowed and your mouth opened as you rocked against her fingers.

“You liked that baby?” she whispered in her deep voice and your stomach fluttered. You nod with a smile.

“Don't stop please.” you whine and she giggles.

“I wouldn't dream of it.” she pushes into you harder and faster and you feel the heat in your core grow hotter, a tight feeling forming in your sensitive and deprived cunt. She stayed hovering a mere inch above you as she moved her hips slowly and her fingers moved hard and fast. You rocked your hips into her faster and she looked down at you with a devious smile. She watched as your face contorted with pleasure and your eyes went glossy as you grew closer to your release. You moaned as you felt your legs press together and your back arched into Melissa.

“Fuck, im going to cum.” you moaned into her and she smiled, finally kissing you again, this time slowly and tender. Her soft lips wrapping around yours gently and her fingers shoved into you caused quite the contrast and you felt your chest flutter from the contradicting emotions. Your brows furrowed and you squeezed around her.

“Cum for me baby, be a good girl and let it all out.” she said softly and your eyes snapped shut as you came around her fingers. You let out a loud moan as your legs tingle and you twitch under her slightly. You rode it out on her fingers and she pulled them out of you, bringing them to her mouth with a smile. You watched in amazement as her plump lips wrapped around her fingers coated in your flavor.

“Fuck you are,” you paused looking up at her, the dim lighting around her caused her to glow, her hair cascading around her face that was dewy from the things she had just done to you. Her lips were pink and her eyes were full of mischief and lust. She looked stunning, she was stunning. How could you put into words how incredible she was. She raised a brow waiting for you to finish with a smile on her face. “Ethereal.” you finally said and she looked at you with a more serious gaze, trying to detect any underlying emotions you may have been disguising.

“Well you aren't so bad yourself babe.” she laughed and you shook your head gently, still in your hypnotic state as you stared at her.

“No, I'm serious Melissa. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” you said with a serious tone and her smile faded as she looked at you. After a moment she looked down and sighed.

“Thank you, hon.” she said as she moved off you and got off the bed, you watched her with confusion and your eyebrows scrunched together when she reached for her dress.

“Woah hey, did I do something wrong?” you asked getting up to walk over to her and she quickly shook her head.

“No, not at all. You’re a wonderful girl Y/n, but we can't be doing this, I want you but you are young, and I don't want you to..” she paused, her hand going to her forehead and you looked down as you realized.

“Fall in love with you?” the words left your lips quietly and she looked at you up and down with sympathy.

“I'm sorry I didn't think any of this through. I'm going to go, before anything else happens.” she said looking for her shoes and you shook your head, walking to stand between her and the hall to the door.

“I know I'm young but I'm not some high school virgin that's gonna fall in love with you because we sleep together.” You scoffed and she shook her head.

“No you’re not, but you have never been with a woman or been in a serious relationship with one, and I cant have this be your first.” she said, grabbing her purse. You stepped closer to her and she used all her strength to keep her eyes on yours.

“Is this not what you wanted though?” you asked sharply, gesturing between you and she looked down. “You didn't want to see me naked, on display for you?” you asked as you moved to take off your bra.

“Y/n-” she started, not looking at your body and you laughed as you slid your panties to the ground while you looked her in the eyes.

“Tell me this isn't what you wanted. Tell me that you weren't dreaming about me after we kissed that night, that I didn't cross your mind while you touched yourself, that you didnt want to fuck me in that museum while my boss watches. That you don't want to touch me right now.” you said stepping closer, now only a foot from her, she looked into your eyes and let out a sigh.

“I-” she couldn't get the words out. Melissa was usually so quick-witted and good with words, but with you it was hard, and in this moment it felt impossible. You looked at her with a smirk, reaching to grab her hand, you placed it on your chest and she kept her eyes on yours. Slowly and effortlessly, you slid her hand over your breasts and down your stomach. Her breath hitched in her throat as she looked at you.

“Fuck me.” she muttered under her breath, deciding to say fuck it and bringing her other hand to your waist, pulling you into her and kissing you with heat and aggression, she dominated the kiss and her nails dug into your hips as she kissed you with a desire strong enough to cause you to slam against the wall behind you, you moaned from the feeling, and she pulled away.

“Lay back on the bed baby.” she ordered and you nodded, moving to the bed once again. After many orgasms later you both eventually fell asleep, naked and tangled in the sheets, Melissa's warm body pressed against yours all night.

A loud ringing song woke you from one of the best sleeps you have had in a long time. Annoyed and groggy you lifted your head to see what it was, you saw Melissa reaching for her phone and the noise stopped, but she brought it to her ear as she moved to get up out of bed. You watched her frame move gently around the room and she gathered her clothes from the floor and chaise.

“Yeah I’m fine.” she said in a soft tone and you tried your best to hear who was on the other side. You heard a lower voice but couldn't quite make it out. “Mhm. Oh um, I can't go to brunch today but lets rain check.” You furrowed your brows as you turned to lay on your side and propped your head up on your hand, your naked body lay exposed aside from the sheet barely covering your cunt and one of your breasts. Melissa turned and saw you were awake and smiled at you as she looked for her shoes once again. “Oh dinner? Look Clint I have a busy day maybe next weekend? Ok yeah, bye.” She hung up and you raised your brow with a smile. “I'm gonna shower.” was all she said as she put her hair in a bun and took her undergarments into the bathroom with her.

Your lips flattened into a disappointed expression and you looked around the hotel room at the mess you two made. Sheets were scattered around along with your own clothes. You got up and looked in the mirror, you had a bruise on your hip and you smiled at it. Thankfully she avoided leaving hickeys. You walked over to the bathroom and gently moved the handle to see if it was locked, it moved down and opened and you smirked. You shut it behind you and looked over at the shower. It was a large walk-in shower with glass walls and a built-in shower bench. A towel was thrown over the panel of the door, just barely blocking your view of Melissa's wet and naked body. As you put your hair into a bun, you walked over and opened the door, stepping in and coming up behind her, your arms coming to rest on her hips as your lips placed kisses on her shoulder.

“You sleep okay?” you asked and she hummed as she turned to face you, turning you towards the water so you were wet too.

“You did so good last night baby.” she praised you with a velvety voice as her hands roamed your body, she grabbed the body wash and put some in her hands, lathering it and placing her hand on you once again. She went over your arms and shoulders, turning you around to get your back as you washed your face, her hands moved over your hips and that's when she saw the bruise.

“Oh hon, did I hurt you.” she said with a sympathetic yet teasing tone, her fingers moving to trace it gently, sending a chill up your back. You looked over your shoulder at her, placing a kiss to her soft lips and smiled.

“No, I had a wonderful time.” you answered and she moved her hands to trail up your stomach and over your breasts. You turned to face her and cupped your hands to her cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss, you felt her wet breasts press against your chest and you moaned into her mouth, she took control, pushing you against the shower wall as her tongue moved around your mouth. You groaned and your hands moved to squeeze her ass and pull her into it, her knee came to sit between your legs and you pressed your core into it. Melissa pulled away swiftly and you opened your eyes, she was stepping out and grabbing her towel with a sinister smile.

“Finish up baby, I'll be here when you get out.” she reassured you and then grabbed her things and walked out of the bathroom. You stood in shock, hot and bothered as the water grew colder on your skin. You did as you were told and washed your hair as you tried your best to hurry. When you got out of the bathroom, Melissa was dressed and fixing her hair into a ponytail, perfectly curled pieces falling to frame her face.

“You know my boss said I could use the hotel for another night if I wanted.” you quipped looking at her seductively as you walked to your suitcase and got out a change of clothes. Melissa didn't say anything, she just got up and walked over to you.

“I had a great night, and you are.. Amazing.” she started and your lips turned down slightly.

“But?” you said with a scoff and her brows pushed together.

“But it was a one time thing.” she said and you shook your head, you dropped your towel and started to put your clothes on as you argued back.

“Oh fuck off with that Melissa, there is no reason two adults cant have sex every now and then. Guess what we fucked last night and im not in love with you.” not yet at least your subconscious chirped and you rolled your eyes.

“I know, but like I said last night it's wrong of me to let this happen. I’ll see you around.” she said before grabbing her purse and heading out of the door. You stood in disbelief and put your shoes on, grabbing your phone and purse and heading out after her. You caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

“Let me drive you home.” You said and she looked at you for a moment.

“Fine, but I'm driving.” she said and you walked to your car giving her your keys. You sat in silence before grabbing your phone and texting your boss. You told her you wanted to stay another night and she liked the message before sending a witty response that made you smile. Melissa saw but didnt say anything and just kept her eyes on the road. She lived close so the drive was short and you walked her to her door.

“Come see me tonight while I'm still in town.” You said as she opened the door. She turned to look at you and you smiled.

“I cant.”

“You absolutely can.” you quipped and she tilted her head.

“I shouldn't.”

“Why not? Give me one good reason.” your tone was light, but your eyes didn't leave hers as she looked at you.

“Your dad is married to my sister. That's my best reason, I'm sorry hon. Get back safe.” she said before shutting the door and leaving you on her porch. You felt your cheeks grow hot in frustration and heading back to your car, driving out of her neighborhood. You didn't know where to go so you just drove around, looking at the beautiful architecture of the city, you found a cinema and decided to go see a movie.

By the time the movie ended the sun had just started to set and you looked for a place to get dinner. An idea popped into your head and you smiled, pulling out your phone. You texted Melissa asking her to go to dinner with you since you were alone in the city. However you felt your chest sink when she read the message and never answered. You scoffed and chewed on your lip. You didn't understand why Melissa even slept with you in the first place if she didn't really have to desire to. I mean were you bad? Screw this, you headed back to your hotel and decided to drive home.

The truth was Melissa was the one afraid of falling in love with you. She loved your personality and she felt butterflies all night while you two talked, fooled around, and slept together. However she was terrified of someone finding out and her sister, or your dad finding out and being uncomfortable. She figured she would just cut it off now and she wouldn't go to any parties if she knew you were going to be there. She wouldn't go back to the museum, and she would sit at the club every weekend, sifting through every crowd, looking for your smile.

She did that for months. Just like when she kissed you, she created an unforgettable memory with you, then disappeared. Leaving you to get over the experience and pretend it didn't happen.

This time it took a couple months to fully get over your night with Melissa. You would dream of it constantly. If you closed your eyes in the shower you would see her. If you went out you would look around the bars for her. You even stopped masturbating because you could only ever finish if you thought of Melissa. Eventually, with time you rarely thought of her. Some rare and rough nights she would plague your dreams, kissing you, fucking you, saying she loves you. Those nights you would wake yourself up and not go back to sleep. On the more lonely nights though, you would stay asleep, stay in the perfect illusion your mind created and wake up in a funk that would last a week.

You were home for winter now and knew you were going to see Melissa at least once. You started mentally preparing ahead of time, and just hoped you would be able to be normal, but when you heard she was coming to stay for a few days you almost decided to just leave. Having no place else to go did pose a challenge, but you were worried about what those days would bring. She was coming to stay over for new years and you knew this setting was going to teach you a great lesson on self-control. You only hoped things wouldnt be awkward forever, and you hoped that your heart wouldn't fall out of your chest and into her hands upon your first glance.

#lisa ann walter #melissa x reader #abbott elementary #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x y/n #melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti smut #melissa schemmenti x reader smut #step mom melissa schemmenti x reader

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usagikookiejams · 7 months

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BEING AWAY FROM THEM FOR SOME WEEKS

Shiba Taiju, Sano Shinichiro, Haitani Ran

⚠️WARNING: Curse words, mentions of kill (no actual killing tho in this hc), 'crazy' behavior lol

SHIBA TAIJU

"When are you coming back, baby?," the guy on the other line inquired. "Can you like stop asking me same question for the past 2 weeks already?," you tsked. "Brat, I'm just asking ya know," you could feel him rolling his eyes by the tone of his voice. "Hehe sorry love, I promise I will come back ASAP once my event is done here. Mwah, TTYL!," you hung up. Fast forward, you came back to Japan after 4 days since the call. You arrived at Taiju's house a.k.a Black Dragon's HQ where you could see most of his subordinates were bandaged up. "What the...," your thoughts were interrupted upon hearing some yelling, HIS yell to be exact. You entered the house to witness Taiju beating up his subordinate with a baseball bat. "Care to explain?," you inquired which led to Taiju stopping his action, and the subordinate repeatedly bow at you while saying thank you. Kokonoi came into the frame while laughing, "He got WILD when you were not by his side, so he released the pent up stress towards these guys." Taiju let go of the bat and walked towards you, "Tch! They are lucky that you are here already. If not, I swear I could go rampage and kill half of these useless guys." You looked at him dead in the eyes while shaking your head, "You maniac, how do I even like you in the first place." Taiju just shrugged and took you to ride on his motorcycle while enjoying your presence again.

SANO SHINICHIRO

You were watering the plant in your parents' garden when suddenly your phone started ringing. You went to retrieve them before greeting the other person on the line, "Hello babe!." You could hear rustling which may indicates that the person was still in bed. "Hey darling, I miss you so much! Can you come home by today? Ahhh I literally haven't eaten properly since you left," which continued by the sounds of Emma's nag telling him to get his ass off the bed and go to work already. You could hear a loud 'hey gimme back!' before Shinichiro's voice was replaced with Emma's on the other line, "Hey Y/N, when are you coming back? This lazybum has been off his job for 3 weeks now, reasoning that he doesn't have enough energy to work. Ugh I really hate to tell you this but can you please please PLEASE come back ASAP. Istg he has been losing a lot of weight already ugh!." You talked with them for some minutes more before having to hang up. You felt guilty and tried to talk about it with your parents, in which they agreed that you should go back home to Shinichiro as your mom has been getting better from her sickness. Thus, the next day, you arrived at Tokyo. You didn't tell Shinichiro about your plan so upon seeing your face by the main door, Shinichiro dropped to his knees to hug your legs tightly while crying like a baby. "Please don't leave me ever again! If you need to go to your hometown, bring me with you so that we will not be separated huwaaa 😭😭," he messily crying, ruining your pants with his tears and snots. You just laughed at his behavior but still agreeing to his suggestion. "Ahh, this man is gonna be the death of me lol," you monologued in your head.

HAITANI RAN

You wouldn't lie that leaving this house in the hands of Ran's is really.... unnerving. This man literally loves to cause trouble at home, which most of the time leading you to feel like dying is a better option. Why is that? Cuz this man lovessSSS to pull 'harmless' pranks that drive you crazy, like right now; "Babeee, do you think the fish in the fish tank could survive if I put a sprinkleee of chilli flakes in the water?," Ran showed you the fish tank via the facetime. "Don't you dare Ran! That is MY fish so don't do this crazy shit unless you don't want me coming home again," you threatened him. "Hmmm...," he walked closer to the tank while shaking what seems like the small container of the chilli flakes you frequently use. "AHHH! ISTG DON'T!!," you screamed at him while saying profanity words. "HAHAHAHHA!!," you could see his camera shaking from his laugh, he later on flipped the camera to front facing him. "Dumbass babygirl, I would never do bad shit like that to animals you know 😔. Though I kill people on a daily basis. What kind of a maniac do you think I am? ☹️," he jutted his lower lip faking sadness. You glared at him through the screen while 'promising' that you are going to beat his ass once you come back. In the end, that promise was fulfilled by you beating his back with the frying pan he bought you on your birthday <3

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hgfictionwriter · 7 months

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Ache

Jessie Fleming x reader

Summary: Sometimes love isn't enough. Despite how much you and Jessie love each other, life gets in the way.

A/N / Warning: Angst. And no smut. Yet lol.

A heavy sigh escaped you as you rounded the corner to your apartment. Your eyes were trained on the concrete below as you dug in your pocket for your keys. The evening wind was brisk and sharp against your skin. When you lifted your gaze, the figure before you froze you in your tracks and your chest tightened immediately, breath catching in your throat.

"Jessie?"

She'd been staring at the ground and her head snapped up as she was broken from her thoughts. She shot up from where she'd been sitting on the ledge of the garden outside your building. Her eyes were wide as she looked to you and though she opened her mouth to speak, the words were lost on the tip of her tongue.

It'd been weeks since you'd talked and so much longer since she'd been to your apartment. You swallowed and internally cursed at how, even after all this time, just the sight of Jessie made your eyes prickle with the start of tears.

"Again?" She'd asked. Her voice was tired as it came through the phone and you cast your gaze down at the disappointment that bled through.

"I'm sorry. I tried to get someone else to go, but I own the account, so-"

"I know, I get it," she cut you off. There was no malice in her voice, but it wasn't any less sad. "I know you have to go."

"I'll be back on the 6th. My flight doesn't get in until after dinner, but you can come over," you told her, trying to sound positive.

"I leave for camp at 4 the next morning." Again, her words were simple and they weren't accusatory, but the heaviness between you was loud. You stopped trying to hide.

"We've only seen each other once this month," you stated.

"I know," she said quietly.

Silence began to fill your conversation.

"So, what do we do?" You finally asked. Your chest already ached knowing what the answer was. This feeling, this moment, had been creeping in for months. You'd done what you could to keep it at bay, but its inevitable arrival was here.

A few seconds later she responded.

"I don't think things are going to change any time soon." Her voice was soft, mixed with regret and acceptance. "And it shouldn't. We're both doing what we should be doing. I can't slow down - I have to make the most of my career while I can. It's the same for you."

"I know," you agreed as tears began to well in your eyes. "I'm so proud of you, you know." You added with a small laugh that didn't fully veil the way your voice choked up. "And I never want to hold you back."

"I'm proud of you, too," she echoed, her own voice growing thick with emotion. "And same - I'd never want to hold you back either."

"I really love you," you continued and your voice cracked under the strain. "I hope you've felt that."

"I have." She sniffled. "I love you, too, and I hope you've never had to doubt that."

You bit down on your lip, looking up to the ceiling as tears began to fall down your cheeks.

"I guess this is it,” you said more than asked as your voice wavered.

Another sniffle came through the phone. "I think so." Her voice was taut. "I still want to be friends," she added in a rush, her voice shaking, "but this isn't working. I can't give you what you need, and..."

"I can't give you what you need," you finished for her.

"Yeah," she admitted quietly. "I've never wanted someone the way I want you. I love you so much-" her voice was breaking "-I miss you all the time. And even when we're together, it breaks my heart because I know we have to leave again soon."

"It hurts to be together and apart. I know the feeling," you relayed sadly. "I wish it wasn't this way. I can't imagine loving anyone more."

"I don't want to ask you to wait. And I know you won't ask me to wait for you because neither of us wants to make promises we can't keep."

"Jessie." Her name came out in a strangled whimper and you heard her cry.

"I can't imagine not loving you. But, if you meet someone who makes you happy and gives you what you need...," she trailed off.

"I understand. And I wish the same for you," you said even though it felt like a dagger through your heart.

Silence infiltrated your conversation once more before a laugh escaped you, though it came out more like a sob.

"I did not expect this call to go this way."

Jessie gave a watery laugh of her own. "Me neither." A pause. "I guess it's been coming though."

"I know," you relented. "I just didn't want it to be true."

After a few moments, Jessie spoke again.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you, too, Jessie. Always."

You said you'd be friends, but it was all at once too easy and too difficult. As was the problem, it wasn't that often you got to see each other or talk, but when you did, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to be with her. So when she stood too close, held your gaze for too long, or when you'd hug at the end of the night and hold onto one another too tightly and for too long, it tore you apart.

That had gone on for nearly a year, and it hadn't gotten any easier. You fell back into old habits just too easily.

The last time you saw each other, at a mutual friend’s birthday, she’d come over to say “hi”. Innocent enough until something as simple as showing her something on your phone turned into you two sitting so close together your legs touched. As you talked, if you turned your head too much to the side your lips would’ve grazed her cheek. Did she mean for her hand to brush against yours?

The only way to move on was to cut yourself off completely. She'd understood and she even apologized for making things difficult, but it wasn't just her, it was you too.

Now, here she was sitting outside of your apartment, shivering and cold, looking to you and struggling to find her words.

"What are you doing here?" You finally asked. "Shouldn't you be with the team?"

"You saw?" She asked, looking so innocent and you cursed the rush of affection that rose in you.

"Win the Shield? Of course I did." You had to laugh. A smile finally broke out across her freckled face and that still too familiar pink tinge grew darker across her cheeks. You relented some. "You were great. No surprise."

Jessie began to fidget, her hands jostling in her jacket pockets and she shuffled idly from foot to foot. She scratched the back of her neck as she went back to studying the pavement. This time she managed to speak though.

"I-I'm sorry to show up out of the blue. I just - we were all celebrating, and of course I was happy, but, I-I don't know." She huffed in frustration. “I’ve been sitting here thinking and planning what I was going to say and now…”

"It's okay, Jess," you told her gently, understanding that this was not her norm and something was clearly going on. She looked up at you and gave a couple of grateful nods. She studied you for a few seconds and it pained you that even during that time you were getting lost in her eyes.

"I know you said you don't want to see me - that being around each other and talking was making it too hard to move on." She paused, though her eyes didn't leave yours. You saw her steel herself and she straightened up as she continued. "But I don't want to move on. And, to be honest, I've known it deep down for a while now.

"Today - every game, really - I found myself looking out into the crowd too many times searching for you. And when we were leaving, everyone's all stoked to go out and party, but I just wanted to be with you - anywhere with you. I wanted to share this with you. So, even after a year of me trying to tell myself that we made the right decision, I know we - or at least I - was dead wrong. Because I miss you. So much.” Her voice wavered and her eyes glistened. “It's not just this that I want to share with you - it's every day, little moments and the big. I don’t care if it has to be through text or a call most of the time. It just has to be you.”

"Jessie." You breathed her name out, trying desperately to process everything she was telling you. She took a step towards you, shoulders set and determined and she carried on.

"I love you. From the beginning and I never stopped. I know you're trying to move on, but this is me taking a chance and telling you how I feel. I don't want you to move on - I want to be the person you come home to, the person you call, with you through the good and the bad. I know our schedules are still a problem, but I'd rather have one evening with you than a year without."

Your breath hitched as her proclamations grew. You saw her clench and unclench her fists nervously before she continued.

“And even if one day you’d decide we could be friends again,” she trailed off momentarily, gaze shifting away before settling on you once again resolutely, “honestly, I don’t want to be friends. You’re right - we can’t be friends. I can’t be next to you and pretend I don’t want to hold you, I don’t want to kiss you. Or talk with you and not tell you that I love you and you mean the world to me. And,” she took a steadying breath, “I’m really hoping that you feel the same.”

Jessie fidgeted a bit, some of her doubt and insecurity creeping back in. Still, she looked at you with hopeful eyes.

"So, will you have me?"

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jflem #woso #woso community #woso x reader #woso imagine #canwnt

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sirfrogsworth · 17 days

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Dinner with John

In a little test to make sure my heart is doing better (it seems to be doing much better so far), I decided to reconnect with one of my oldest friends. John and I met for dinner at this really cool restaurant that I had no idea existed.

It's like, just on a street, in a neighborhood, not too far from my house. I parked in front of some dude's lawn.

I didn't realize such a thing was possible these days. Most places are moving out of the area. It was also a bit jarring to be next to people's houses and going to a restaurant and then across the street is one of the biggest churches I've ever seen.

After "Here is the church" they decided to really overdo "HERE IS THE MOTHERFUCKIN' STEEPLE!!!"

They probably didn't curse though.

Or maybe they did.

That could have been Our Lady of the Rancid Tongue and their greeting could be "Praise Jesus and fuck you."

Probably not.

And then the restaurant, Hendel's, was a real treat. Just a very cool vibe. I couldn't figure out how to actually enter the place as the front door was inaccessible.

Thankfully John knew to go through the rear. The church is probably really judgy about that.

I'm getting a lot of jokes out of this church.

On the side of the building they have a really cool mural...

But, apparently, they didn't care for the aesthetic of the power meters so they painted those to match the brick.

Which I thought was quite clever.

When we were ordering I had already decided I was going to get a birthday steak in honor of my dad. Every year on my birthday he would grill me a steak. And though it is about a month late, I still wanted to make that happen.

But then John said he was paying.

And I said, "You can't pay, I'm getting a steak."

And he said, "I can get you a steak."

And then I felt guilty for not just ordering a water and eating bread. (I was raised to be highly embarrassed by generosity. But I'm working on it.)

When the waiter asked how I wanted my steak done I asked, "What is the least amount you can cook it?" And then he said, "We can do rare." And I was like, "I would like it rare." And then the waiter gave me a look as if to say, "Are you sure about that?" But when one asks a question like that, there is an assumed level of certainty that you want your steak to moo when it arrives.

We bonded over both losing our dads. Sometimes it is nice when you have a shared experience, even if it is a sad one, to just be able to talk without the bullshit. On occasion, dealing with people who aren't sure what to say can drain the emotional batteries. And when you have someone who... just knows... it is a lot easier.

It was a nice night out. I realized it was my first time in a restaurant in over a decade. And I had just enough energy to make it through dinner. I had been working on my house all week and I was dangerously close to using up what last bit of energy I had. Which is why I collapsed into bed immediately after getting home and have stayed there since Thursday night.

But as the folks at OLRT would say, "Fuck the consequences, I had fun. Praise the goddamn Lord."

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lowkeyremi · 9 months

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Hi there!! I’ve read some of your works I they’re really good- you’re so talented and amazing 😭✋🏾

Bakugou x reader where he slips reader a letter telling her to proofread his letter to Santa and she’s like:??? but doesn’t judge bc she loves him, and it says that he’s asking Santa for a wife 😭🥰 and then when she looks down he’s on one knee 🥺

All I want for Christmas is You k. bakugo x fem!reader

a/n: THIS IS SO CUTE OMG IM GIGGLING STOPPPP i was about to say at his grown age he got a santa list but it made more sense after I read the rest :3

content: fluff, established relationship, bakugo is silly

The old grandfather clock that Katsuki insisted he needed chimes loudly to announce the arrival of the next hour. You were in the kitchen getting a little snack before winding down for bed.

As you continued preparing your snack your boyfriend made his presence know in the kitchen with his humming.

"What's that?" He asks looking over your shoulder.

"I'm trying something new." You explain, taking a look at it for yourself. Honestly, you don't know what to call it. His eyes travel down to your feet where he can see you aren't wearing socks or your house slippers.

"How many times do I have to tell ya to wear something on your feet? You'll get sick." He complains for the umpteenth time this week.

"Mhm I know. I need you to be quiet you're breaking my concentration." He finds it cute how your tongue is slightly poking out as you try to frost this.. interesting looking cupcake.

"Doesn't look like ya put much effort or thought into it but okay..." He clicks his tongue and you elbow him in the stomach. Of course it doesn't hurt though, because he's built like a marble statue.

"Anyways, I need you to read over this when your done. It's my wish list to Santa." You don't respond right away, waiting to see if he's going to say he's joking or something, but he doesn't. You put down the frosting bag and stare deep into his soul.

"Are you serious? I thought Santa wasn't real. At least that's what you told Denki and ruined his Christmas." You recall last year's Christmas party when Katsuki harshly broke the news to Denki. The blond had a mental break down.

"I've reconsidered what I'd said before. He's real 'n I've been real good this year so hopefully I'll get what I wished for." He emphasizes that for some odd reason.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. Remember when you verbally assaulted that kid who said you look like a mean Pokémon character?" He grumbles something that you don't quite catch but you get what he means.

"Just read it." He says with a roll of his eyes. You stare at him once again.

"Ughhh be happy I love your ass. I have to stop my cupcakes to read a santa list??? How old are you five?" He knows you aren't mad which is why he holds out the red envelope for you to take.

He watches you intently as you gently tear open the envelope. You pull out a piece of paper, which reads:

Dear Santa,

It's me. Bakugo.

The only thing I want for Christmas is a pretty wife who will stay with me through thick and thin. Who's also annoying and banned from going to sleep after me because of her terrible pranks.

Thanks.

As you finish reading it you're in shock. You lower the letter from your view to see your boyfriend on one knee, a pretty ring being presented to you in a very exquisite box.

"So.. will you help Santa out? Make my wish come true?" He's shaking and he looks so vulnerable it touches your heart.

You already know your answer but who would you be if you didn't give the man a run for his money.

"Well I don't know, Santa still needs to receive the letter then he'll probably come to me and we'll talk." You say crossing your arms. Katsuki glares at you and you smile back.

"Of course I will!! I mean who else would do it if not for me?" He rolls his eyes so hard you feel it.

"I could get anyone to marry me in seconds." He scoffs while putting the ring on your finger.

"All this talk and it took you 7 years to finally pop the question." Before he even gets another word out you lean down to press a soft kiss onto his lips.

"Merry Christmas, hubby." You say with a snort.

"Way to ruin a romantic moment and hubby is not going to be a new nickname."

jokes on him hubby stuck around for a long time :3

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thelikesofus · 4 months

Text

Buddie Fic Recs

REC LIST NUMBER 6! The theme is PINING if you couldn’t already tell. I haven’t done a lot of writing recently but I have done A LOT of reading so here are some of the lovely stories I have come across over the last few weeks. As always, please show these authors some love in their comments xx REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending | T | 6k

After the lightning strike, Buck asks Eddie to take candid photos of him to help prove to Buck that he still exists. Absolute PEAK Softness. Buck through Eddie's eyes! I was a mushy puddle by the end. 10/10 would recommend

put my heart inside your palms by @markofalover | T | 3k

An accidental pet name, a thoughtful dinner, and a shared shirt. Buddie are too domestic for my health and well-being! I want what they have!!

because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by @neverevan | E | 75k

During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him AKA the Mudslide Missing!Eddie fic with pining for daaayyyyyyyzzzzzzz

Left Unsaid by C_M2 | M | 33k

The discovery of a small facebook group full of tsunami survivors rocks station 118. This fic is amazing!! The perfect amount of pining angst, domestic feels and firefam love and goodness 💕💕

If I Should Fall by @elvensorceress | T | 23k

Buck thinks Tommy has died but it's actually Eddie. He is not dead but almost and they have to figure things out from there. This fic had me feeling like my heart has been gutted from my chest and dissected before my very eyes but it has the happy ending we all deserve.

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies | G | 27k

Eddie is the only one who doesn't realize he and Buck are dating 😭 This is a perfectly sweet and angsty miscommunication fic.

the weekly bet (but the forever kind) by @theleftboobgrabber | E | 49k

The firehouse has a bet and Buck and Eddie work it in their favor. Once again Eddie pining for dayyyyzzzzzzzzzzz. (I’ve been on a Pining!Eddie kick recently). Perfect Buckley Diaz family feels.

light me and i'll burn for you by @woodchoc-magnum | M | 31k

An old friend of Buck's joins the 118 and he kinda sucks. Eddie pines and falls down a hole (literally). Seriously though the pining and the angst in this fic is just delicious and with a happy ending to boot <3

The Aftermath of Liberation and Love Confessions by @elvensorceress | T | 17k

Eddie makes the love confession to end all love confessions while perfecting the balance between pining and not giving a f*ck. I love me a Jenwyn fic and this one is fabulous as always.

love bites so deep and we've got tiger teeth by @usereddie | M | 10k

Rather than going to texas with his grandparents Christopher goes to stay with Buck for an extended sleepover and Eddie realizes he is incredibly in love with his best friend. Honestly I am OBSESSED!!! This is officially my season 7 ending <3

hearts on fire by @woodchoc-magnum | M | 65k

This is a canon divergence on Season 2 where Buck and Eddie almost get together but then Abby comes back and Eddie lets buck go and then regrets it while trying to be happy for him. The pining, the self-sabotage, honestly is all one big tasty meal and topped off with a happy ending and a side salad of the Shannon and Eddie friends/co-parents arc that they deserved!!

like a dog with a bird at your door by @shitouttabuck | E | 51k

Set post s6, Eddie is injured on a call and Buck moves in to help with his recovery whilst learning to navigate his feelings for his best friend and pining for the position Eddie’s girlfriend holds. honestly, I’m actually only halfway through reading this fic but OMG I’M ASDFFGGHJJKKL and I just already knew this would be making it onto the next rec list so I'm adding it to this one preemptively.

#buddie #buddie fic recs #buddie fic rec list 6 #buck x eddie #eddie diaz #evan 'buck' buckley #911 #911 fic recs #meegs rec list

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girlgenius1111 · 10 months

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that night was a mistake.

from a request for a childhood friends to lovers fic with Ona and reader :)

I had intended for this to be... significantly shorter and significantly less angsty but this is what I came up with and i'm rolling with it.

there will be at least one more part

tw. homophobia [not accepting parents]. panic attack. no smut... yet.

The news of Ona signing onto play at Barca should not have filled your stomach with butterflies, but it did. It should have just been an exciting piece of information to receive , but it wasn't. Instead, it sent you spiraling back to your youth, your confusing friendship with Ona. The way you'd left things. It had been a while since you'd seen each other, really seen each other. You'd stepped away from the national team like everyone else had, but unlike Ona, you had not gone back. Even then, you hadn't been around her much since you'd both played on the Barcelona B team. Since you'd so incredibly, so inexplicably fucked things up. The idea of seeing Ona again, not just for a week or two, but every day, was more than a little overwhelming.

Which is how you found yourself on Mapi and Ingrid's front porch at 10pm, the day Ona's signing had been announced. It only occurred to you that you probably looked like a mess, and your unexpected arrival would probably concern your older friends, once you'd already knocked. The door flew open before you could rethink your actions, and Mapi's surprised face stared back at you, quickly turning into one of concern.

"Are you ok? What happened?" Her voice was filled with worry, and you suddenly wished you'd come up with any other plan than the one you'd chosen.

"Um. I'm not really sure. Do you have a second to talk?" Your voice sounded shaky despite your best efforts to steady it, and Mapi's eyebrows creased even further, as she wordlessly stepped aside to let you in, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder, leading you to the couch.

Mapi looked at you with a searching gaze and asked, "Do you want me to get Ingrid?" after you'd perched on the couch, looking around for the defender's other half without even really realizing it. You paused, considering, before nodding your head, deciding that you needed to pull yourself together before you spoke again. Mapi disappeared into the bedroom, clearly taking a minute to explain that you were sitting on their couch and acting weird to Ingrid, as you heard muffled voices.

You focused on the little details of the room, attempting to force yourself back into the present. You loved Mapi and Ingrid's place. It was so them. So domestic. The comfy couch, the decorations that were clearly chosen by the Norwegian. The various items left strewn about on the counter, that could only have been left there by Mapi. You felt safe there, you reminded yourself. Ingrid and Mapi would never judge you. They'd do their best to understand, and maybe they'd be able to help.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't realize the couple had walked into the room until you felt Ingrid's hand grab yours gently, her green eyes meeting yours, filled with so much concern, you felt yourself wilt a little.

"What's going on nena?" Mapi questioned as she took a seat on the couch next to Ingrid. You took a deep breath, deciding to launch into the story before you could change your mind.

It made sense that you were confiding in the older couple. You were young when you'd joined Barca, and Mapi had taken you under her wing. She'd become fiercely protective of you, and Ingrid had quickly followed suit when they'd gotten together. You told them everything. All of it. You'd never done that before, not with anyone. What had happened lived inside a little box in your head that you never let even yourself open.

You started from the beginning, how you and Ona had been really close when you'd played on the B team together. Best friends, before anything else. As you got older, things got different. The two of you got closer, until you were... confusingly close. Maybe it was only confusing to you; you'd been incredibly repressed back then. Staunchly convinced you weren't gay. Deep down, you had known, you'd always known. But that wasn't a reality you thought you could have, not with your parents being the way they were. Ona didn't seem to have the same problems that you did, always shrugging her shoulders at questions about the closeness of the 2 of you, as if she didn't care, when the same questions made you lose your breath, terrified of the implications.

Maybe it shouldn't have been surprising to you, then, when she'd kissed you. It was the obvious direction things were headed, but as she pressed her lips to yours in the dark of the club on her 18th birthday, all you could think was that this would ruin everything. It didn't matter how good it felt, how perfect her lips felt against yours, soft and tasting of cherry chapstick and tequila. It only mattered that you couldn't do this. Not you. Not with a girl, even Ona. It was fine if it was anyone else that was gay, it just wasn't fine if it was you.

So you'd pulled back, even though it killed you to do so. You watched the hurt flash across her face as you told her that you couldn't do this, as you backed away from her, out of the club, and walked all the way home. And even though you wanted to pretend that what happened had not mattered, it had. Because when you got home, you took one look at your parents sitting in the living room, at the crosses that hung on chains from their necks, the picture of fucking Jesus on the wall. And the words left your mouth before you could stop them. The kiss with Ona had changed something in you, and you couldn't go back.

"I'm gay." You had said, voice full of confidence, even as your heart pounded in your chest. They'd asked you to repeat yourself, and you had. They didn't seem surprised, only disappointed . Disappointed as they told you they expected you to move out the minute you turned 18, that they wouldn't support that kind of behavior. You hadn't fought them, hadn't yelled. You'd simply walked back into your bedroom, letting tears fall silently as you felt your family and your best friend, your Ona, slip away from you. She'd never really talked to you after that. She lifted out of your life like she'd never been in it. You never tried to explain yourself, determined that you could only be bad for Ona, that she was better off without you, without your mess.

At this point in the story, you were crying, tears streaming down your face as you admitted the truth for the first time. You lifted your gaze to see Mapi's face contorted in anger, Ingrid's eyes filled with tears. If you hadn't been so upset, you might have laughed at how typical their reactions were. Wiping your face harshly, you continued.

"I moved out the day I turned 18. Ona went to Madrid, and I stayed at Barca, and she never looked at me the same way again. I destroyed her that night, and I never told her why, never told her that I hadn't meant it. I'd just let her go. And now she's coming back, and I don't think I know how to be around her, how to talk to her like I haven't loved her with every inch of my soul for 6 years. And I just. Don't know what to do," your voice broke on the last word, and the sobs you'd been bravely holding in broke free, loud and filled with pain, filling the air.

It wasn't even a second before you felt yourself being pulled into Ingrid's arms, and you held on to her rather desperately, hand fisting into the soft material of her sweater, letting yourself fall apart completely against her. Her hands rubbed your back softly, and you felt Mapi scoot closer, pulling both of you into her arms. You cried until you couldn't cry anymore, and they remained a steady presence, holding you tightly until your sobs slowed to pathetic little sniffles you hated. You pulled away from them after several minutes, taking a deep breath, wiping the tears off your face, already knowing your breakdown would be evident the next morning.

Mapi handed you a glass of water that she'd seemingly procured from thin air and you gulped it down. You finally raised your head to meet their eyes, fearing the pity you would see there. You didn't find it; you only found empathy. You didn't miss the way Ingrid's hand was gripping Mapi's, or the way the sight of it made your heart clench, and your brain immediately fill with thoughts of Ona.

"Thank you for telling us that. I don't really know what to say, other than that you didn't deserve that from your parents." Ingrid spoke softly, as if she'd scare you away if she spoke in her normal voice. The two of them had always known something had happened between you and your parents, and between you and Ona, but you never spoke of it. Ever.

You nodded once, shooting Ingrid a weak smile, before looking to Mapi. She loved Ona, and you weren't really sure how she would act in response to your self perceived transgressions. She surprised you, as she often does, by taking one of your hands in hers. You focused on the tattoos littering her arms, instead of meeting her eyes.

"You can't beat yourself up for this, carino. You were just a kid, you were scared, and you were just trying to survive. It's been 6 years, maybe it's time you try to explain what happened to Ona." Her words were gentle, carrying a seriousness you rarely heard from the defender.

You shook your head. "She probably hates me. I led her on, and I ruined our friendship, and I didn't try to apologize or explain myself in the 6 years that have passed. It's not like I haven't had the chance, we see each other at national duties all the time."

"Well... then you just do what you do at camp. You be friendly, and you let her come to you. If she wants to talk, she'll tell you," she replied, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. That was one of your favorite things about Mapi. She always respected your decisions, even if they weren't the ones she would make. She never tried to change your mind when you were set on something.

"It'll take time to get used to her being here, but it'll work out," Ingrid chimed in. Suddenly, it all felt less intense than it had before. You could deal with this. Either you'd end up talking to her, or you wouldn't. Everything would be fine. Your friends were right, it would all work out.

"Thank you guys. Really. I'm sorry for bothering you with this, I know it's a lot," you tried to express your apologies, feeling like you'd maybe been a little dramatic, but they stopped you.

"No, y/n, you don't need to apologize. Both of us have told you to come to us if you need help; you did, and we're glad. We're always happy to help you." Mapi spoke firmly, leaving no room for argument. You nodded again, eyes a little watery again, mumbling another quiet thank you.

You yawned then, absolutely exhausted from the emotional ordeal you'd put yourself through. The other girls chuckled lightly, pulling you to lay down on the couch and covering you with a blanket. They left you to rest, with promises that everything would feel easier in the morning.

-----

Months passed, and you found yourself surrounded by reminders of the brunette defender you felt so conflicted about. Everyone was excited about her return to Barcelona, and the world cup she won only increased everything. You managed to keep your head on straight, not losing your mind and having a breakdown like you had in June. Your friends kept a close eye on you, Mapi hovering over you, the same way she did with Patri and Claudia in the weeks of the world cup, maybe a little extra concerned with you. Ingrid kept tabs on you through Mapi, and she called you often, asking searchingly how you were doing, as if she expected you to freak out again.

Your first interaction with Ona wasn't on her first day with the team. It came on your return from Mexico with the rest of the team that hadn't played in the final. Obviously, you'd seen Ona plenty over the past few years. She did her best to avoid you, which made sense, but total lack of contact wasn't possible when you played on the same national team. You didn't know what made today different, why your heart was pounding as you walked into the locker room on the first day back at training after the Mexico tour. It was different this time; more permanent. It wasn't just a few weeks of letting Ona avoid you; it was months of seeing each other every day.

You neared the locker room, and you heard loud voices echoing out of it. You weren't surprised, it was the first time the team was all back together since June, and there was a lot to catch up on. You entered, taking a deep breath, and walked to your locker, responding as the room echoed with greetings towards you. Your eyes immediately found Ona, sitting relaxed in her cubby, talking to Aitana and Mariona. She looked gorgeous. Even in the plain grey and black training top, her hair sitting loose around her shoulders, she was breathtaking.

She laughed at something Mario said, throwing her head back as she did. You couldn't pull your eyes off of her. She looked over at you then, still chuckling at whatever ridiculous joke Mariona had just told. She caught your eye, and you saw her smile fall slightly, an unreadable looking flashing through her eyes before she fixed her smile, raising her hand in a small wave. You returned the gesture, before forcing yourself to look away, walking to Ingrid's cubby, and wordlessly taking a seat on the ground in front of the bench. You handed her your hairbrush, avoiding the searching looks her and Mapi sent you, silently asking the Norwegian to fix your hair. She did, after giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Your first practice back was good, as were the rest of the practices leading up to your first game. The team worked well together, and it felt indescribably good to be back on the pitch with everyone. Especially Ona. The two of you played together just as well as you always had, her passes always miraculously finding you, and you miraculously finding the goal. Your chemistry would have been hard to miss, which is how you found yourselves paired up more often than not. She kept your conversations to small talk, but she was always kind, and if you hadn't known her as well as you did, you would have missed the way she always seemed to hold back around you. Not that you could blame her.

You congratulated her with a high five when she was told she was starting the first game, and tried to ignore how the feeling of her hand against yours sent electric shocks through your body. You guys kept your distance, until you couldn't anymore.

----

Your first game was an away game in Madrid, and you knew from the second you saw Ona on the coach on the way to the pitch that she was nervous. She sat next to Aitana, bouncing her knee, fiddling with her fingers, not saying a word. You'd never seen her this nervous before, and it had you worried. You must have been staring because suddenly the empty seat next to you was filled, and Mapi was plopping down next to you.

"Staring, are we?" she asked with a wry smile, making sure to keep her voice quiet.

"No," you responded defensively, "she just seems really nervous, I was just making sure she was ok."

"... by staring at her?"

"Fuck off. Would you just ask her if she's ok when we get there? Please?" Your voice took on a pleading tone, and Mapi sighed before responding.

"Of course. But you don't need to make sure someone is checking on her-- she has a lot of friends on the team, you aren't the only one who has noticed." she nodded to Alexia and Irene, who were both stealing glances at Ona every so often. Obviously. The captains would check on her. Not you. It wasn't your place.

You simply nodded in response, swallowing the inexplicable lump in your throat at the completely reasonable implication that Ona did not need you. You turned your attention out the window then, watching the cityscape pass you by, focusing on the game ahead, the music playing in your ears. Mapi got the message, moving back to her spot next to Ingrid with a soft pat on your knee.

You arrived at the stadium shortly after, and you forced all thoughts of Ona out of your brain. You got ready for the game, following all of your little rituals. You'd been successful in not thinking about Ona until you left the room with Pina to get tape for your ankles from one of the medical rooms. You were laughing about something as you pushed the door open, but did not find the room empty like you had expected. Instead, Ona was sitting on the floor of the room, knees pulled to her chest, as she frantically tried to catch her breath. You and Pina fell silent, taking in the scene in front of you. Ona was so out of it, she hadn't noticed you enter.

Thinking fast, you turned to Pina, keeping your voice quiet but firm. "Go get Alexia. Don't tell anyone else anything, or she'll be embarrassed. Just get Alexia." Pina nodded, face alarmed and pale, before dashing out of the room. You moved closer to Ona, taking a careful seat on the cold floor next to her.

"Oni? Can you look at me?" You carefully reached a hand out, placing it gently on her back, and she jumped at the contact, hand snapping towards you. Her face was streaked with tears, and she was gasping for air desperately, clearly in the throes of a bad panic attack. It wasn't the first time that you'd seen her like this, and you hoped that she still responded to the things that worked 6 years ago. You also hoped she wouldn't tell you to get out before Alexia could get there.

You started to rub soft circles onto her back, and she leaned slightly into you, resting her head back on her knees. You began to talk to her, trying to bring her out of her head.

"You're okay Oni, just take your time. Slow your breathing down. Everything is ok." You spoke as soothingly as you could, but before you could really tell if what you were doing was working, the door to the room opened softly, and Alexia slipped inside, brow furrowed in concern.

Alexia looked very official in her uniform, already with the captain's armband on, and as softly as she looked at Ona as she took a spot next to her, you knew she would bring the security and authority necessary to calm Ona down.

The midfielder guided Ona's head off her knees, speaking softly to her, taking one of Ona's hands in her own, and pressing it to her chest.

"With me, Ona. Breathe with me. You're fine, we've got you, just match my breaths." Alexia could have possibly the most soothing voice in the world when she wanted to, and Ona immediately responded, fighting to slow her breathing down.

She began to calm, and you decided to slip out, and give Ona the space you assumed she'd want. As you moved to stand, however, a hand reached out, grabbing yours tightly. You looked down in surprise, seeing Ona's flushed face looking up at you. Her deep brown eyes shimmered with tears, wordlessly pleading with you to stay, and without a second thought, you sat back down, entwining your fingers with hers, and squeezing tightly.

Alexia continued to talk to her softly, her eyes occasionally lifting to glance at you, an unreadable expression on your captain's face. Once Ona's breathing had returned to normal, she sighed heavily, leaning her head back to rest against the wall.

"Sorry." She croaked out, and you opened your mouth to assure her she had nothing to be sorry for, but Alexia beat you to it.

"No, I've told you before, you never have to be sorry for this. It makes sense that you're nervous, it's your first game, but we all have complete confidence in you." Her voice was firm, and left no room to argue, as Ona nodded once. Alexia rose to her feet, and you followed, each of you offering Ona a hand, pulling her to her feet. The two of you trailed out of the room after Alexia, who seemed to have the incredible gift of knowing when 2 people needed to speak to each other alone, as she sent you a look you couldn't decipher, before speeding up and heading back into the locker room.

Ona turned to you, coming to a stop, and you noticed the that you were still holding her hand. It had felt so right, so natural, you hadn't given it a second thought. You pulled your hand away, after giving hers another squeeze, forcing yourself to meet her eyes. The hallway was empty around you, though you could hear the faint sound of you teammates, and the crown outside, every molecule in your body was focused on Ona's eyes boring into yours.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. Sitting with me, and getting Alexia. Thank you, y/n." Her voice was quiet, but her eyes were determined, and you felt like you were really speaking to her for the first time in years. You decided to speak freely then, hoping that some level of honesty would make her feel better.

"Of course, Ona. I know things got... weird. And we never talked about it. But i'm your friend, i'm always gonna be here for you." You said the words gently, hoping your voice conveyed the sincerity you felt. One looked at you searchingly then, as if contemplating . You kept your gaze on hers, not allowing yourself to get distracted by the freckles that covered her face, or the way her jaw twitched as she tried to decide what to say.

"Would you maybe wanna get coffee tomorrow? At the place we used to go to? We're gonna be spending a lot of time together, and it probably makes sense if we talk." her words were hesitant, as if she wasn't really sure she should be saying them.

"Yes! Yes. I... I'd really like that." Your voice came out embarrassingly earnest, and you tried to recover, but the look on Ona's face told you that it hadn't worked. She nodded, sending you a slightly more confident smile. She raised a hand to brush over your upper arm, and you had to work hard to keep your body from shuddering at the featherlight touch.

"Good. We should go get ready though." Her smile seemed genuine, and she turned to head into the locker room. You stood in the hall for a second, replaying the light touch to your arm over and over, before you shook your head, and followed her path into the locker room.

----

part 2 will be less horribly depressing and a lot sexier i promise.

#woso imagine #woso #woso x reader #ona batlle x reader #barcelona femeni x reader #alexia putellas #mapi leon #ingrid engen #aitana bonmati #claudia pina #ona batlle

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trippinsorrows · 4 months

Text

with me + part twelve

authors note: you guys are seriously the nicest and most supportive. the comments always make me stupidly smile and laugh cause not a single one of ya'll is gonna let bdj die off. 😭 also, i know a couple of people have commented and asked about the backstory with joe and jadah, and i promise it'll be explored deeper. there's a subplot i'm working towards unveiling here, and it's nearing the reveal part, but we're not there yet! i promise, though, it's gonna be touched on!!!

i also had to chop this chapter in half, because it's honestly so much stuff, so the next update shouldn't take as long cause it's almost done.

the next two are gonna be so fun. maybe some shit will go down too. we shall see.

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, some angst, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

words: 8k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

“So let me get this straight, in the time that I’ve been gone, you and Joe told Callie he’s her dad, you found out Amir and Mariah been fucking behind your back, and you had a semi mental breakdown after running into your father and, plot twist, long lost sister.” She counts each off with a finger, then asking. “Did I miss anything?”

Nodding, you take a scoop of your ice cream before adding, “Joe told me he loves me.”

In true Alexis fashion, she randomly arrived in town the night before, completely unaware of all that transpired in her absence. So, you take this time while Callie sleeps to catch her up.

“Did I miss anything that I didn’t already know?” You give her a look, and she rolls her eyes, also eating some of her Rocky Road. “Come on, Y/N. Ray Charles could see that man is in love with you. You’re the one being stupid by not reciprocating.” Before you can push back against her, even if she isn’t entirely wrong, she switches topics. “Now when are we gonna go beat Lieriah’s ass? I told you it was something about that girl. She’s a snake.”

Typically the one to defend your friends, it’s hard to find it in you to come to Mariah’s aid. Nevermind the fact that she knows the shitty things Amir has done to you over the years, it’s the fact that she’s supposed to be your best friend but is messing around with same ain't shit ex? You would never do something like that to her, but maybe your loyalty to her has always been stronger than hers to you.

“I’m not worried about him or her. They’re not worth it.” That’s partially true, but the sting of betrayal is slow to pass and even slower to heal. You’ve always had mid to low expectations for Amir, but Mariah? That’s a crushing blow. “I have more important things to figure out.”

She studies you, leaning back against the headboard. “Your sister.”

“Bianca,” you correct. It’s too uncomfortable referring to her as such, even if that’s exactly what she is.

In the weeks since the big fireworks show—both metaphorically and figuratively—you’ve tried to slowly return to your sense of normalcy. Focusing on Callie—who is an entirely different issue in and of itself that you really need to talk to your mom about—being more on top of things at work, and navigating your relationship with Joe.

He hasn’t been back to visit since Christmas, but you figured as such. Wrestlemania season has arrived, and you know better than anyone how crazy that time is, especially with him main eventing.

But the one thing you haven’t really allowed yourself to think too much about is Bianca. You’d sent her a vague apology text a few days after your mad dash and explained that you were dealing with some things and just needed time to sort through them. That you’d reach back out when you were ready.

That still hasn’t happened, and it’s entirely intentional.

“I remember you mentioned that you always wanted siblings?”

“Yeah, cause we have so much to bond over,” you mutter, bitterly.

“Well, you actually do have a lot in common. She’s a teacher, like you. She has a daughter, like you—”

“You know what we don’t have in common?” You interrupt, feeling the agitation growing again. It’s not directed toward Alexis, just the situation in general. “A father who loves us.”

You were done referring to that man as your father. A father shows up. Like Joe. That son of a bitch isn’t even in the same universe as Joe.

Her expression softens. You didn’t tell her everything, just enough for her to get the gist that he’s a piece of shit. And you definitely did not tell her about the time you went to see him. You’ve never told anyone that story. Joe is now the only one who knows, and you’d like to keep it that way. It’s just….it’s just too painful. “I had no idea that was the situation there…..I’m really sorry, girl.”

“It is what it is. I don’t need him.” And you’re not too sure if you need Bianca either. “I’m just trying to figure out if I should power through this for Callie’s sake. You should have seen how she and Taylor clicked. I would hate to take that away from her.”

“I get that,” she acknowledges. “You have to make the decision that’s best for the long run, not necessarily how you’re feeling right now.” That’s very easy to say and nearly impossible to do. “Even if you just allow the girls to interact while you keep some distance with Bianca.”

You’re partially intrigued, spooning some more cookie dough. “How would that work?”

“They don’t live here, right?” You nod. “Maybe the girls can talk on Facetime or even play some game on their tablets. That won’t cause you to interact much with mom outside of coordinating virtual playdates, and Callie still gets to spend time with her cousin, or, not cousin."

You sit on her words, not expecting to be as open to the idea as you are. It’s a pretty genius compromise. “You really do give some great advice sometimes, you know that?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she smiles mischievously, and you just shake your head. “Now, who’s gonna knock this bitch Mariah over the head with a steel chair? Me or you? Or should we hit her with a bus, Regina George style?”

“Alexis!”

________

You clearly don’t love yourself because you decided to do both yours and Callie’s washday on the same damn day. A Sunday, at that. Meaning, you have no choice but to get it done because you have work the next day.

And Alexis being in town would be even more of a benefit than it already is if she actually knew how to do hair. Natural hair. She can lay any wig down better than Tae, but caring for coils and curls is another story. It’s why you declined her offer, and she lays knocked out in your bed, while Callie is fast asleep in hers.

Thankfully, you have an insanely generous and sweet man who’s offered to talk to you while you power through this debacle, noodle arms, sleep deprivation, and all.

“Oh, before I forget again.” You grab the bottle of leave-in to apply more to the next section of hair. Shingling may give you the most definition, but it also gives you the most discomfort. “Can you be here May 8th?” A smile falls on your face. “Our baby is graduating preschool, and I know she’d want you there. I do too.”

“Shit, they have preschool graduations?” He seems genuinely taken back before answering. “But, of course I’ll be there.”

“I know. I used to think they were stupid, but now it’s my kid, so it’s the best thing ever. Her cap and gown should come some time in March, so I’m gonna have one of my old teammates who’s a photographer take professional photos of her.” It’s literally just preschool, but that’s still something she’s accomplished, and you want to commend the occasion the best you can. It’s been years since you’ve had professional photos of her taken anyway. Not since she was first born. “And yes, I’ll get extra for you.”

“How much—”

“Anyways, let me show you the tattoo.” Joe has already done so much, the least you can do is cover the photo costs. Even though you know him well enough to know he’ll find some way to contribute. Thankfully, the side of your hair that still needs to be shingled is clipped at the top of your head, so all you have to do is turn around and push down the thin strap of your shirt to reveal your latest ink. “He did an amazing job.”

“Shit, he did.” Joe’s agreement and approval somehow makes you even more satisfied with the outcome. Your Christmas gift to yourself was finally getting that Moana tattoo Callie has wanted to see on you since you told her you were getting one damn near a year ago. It’s on the back of your left shoulder, a black manta ray, some blue ocean-like coloring with one of your favorite lyrics from the movie: I will carry you here in my heart. You remind me, that come what may, I know the way.

It’s one of Callie’s favorite songs but also feels like an ode to your grandma as well.

He then asks, “do you want more?”

Readjusting your shirt and turning back around, you answer, “of course. More Disney but also….” This discussion triggers something for you, something that seems a little out there, but also maybe not. “I saw this tattoo on Pinterest that I want to get for Callie.” You grab your phone. “Let me send it to you.” It’s saved in your favorites folder and thus an easy send. Placing the phone back on the counter, you wait for him to receive and see it.

“I like it.” It’s a baby’s footprint with the name written in cursive and date of birth in print right underneath it. You’ve always wanted Callie’s name on you but couldn’t settle on a design until you came across that one. Something about it just resonates with you.

Licking your lips, you suggest, “why don’t you get it with me?” Couples getting matching tattoos isn’t something you’re entirely against, you just don’t agree with it for people who are only dating and not married, if marriage is the goal. You remember when Amir once suggested you do so, and you literally laughed in his face. You’d soon rather get branded with a tramp stamp than have that man’s name permanently burned into your skin.

But, matching tattoos for the child you created together with the man you love. That is something you could get behind.

And apparently so can he.

“Let’s do it.”

“Really?” You’re not sure why, but the ease of his agreement shocks you. It’s not too far-fetched when you think about it. He loves his daughter, and you’ve always known Joe to only get tattoos that have meaning. He could give you a detailed explanation for every piece of ink on his body.

“Yeah.” There’s almost a sense of excitement in his voice, like he’s eager to have her name on him, to share this with you. “Same location?” At that, you make a face. He laughs. “Inner bicep does hurt, I’m not even gon’ lie to you.”

Yeah, you’ve definitely heard as such, and considering his entire right side is tatted, he’d know. “I don’t know. I have to think about it. I might need to squeeze your hand the whole time, or I’ll end up punching the tattooist.”

He laughs, “you can squeeze my hand.” Joe then asks, “when do you want to get em’ done?” You start to think about it logistically, as well as financially. Tattoos aren’t cheap. “Do you want to go to the Super Bowl?”

His question surprises you because it’s such a change in topics but also….what? “Yup. And Hawaii and Puerto Rico. And then maybe if we have time, stop by Alice in Wonderland.”

He’s too good at matching your sass, retorting, “I can make the first two happen easily. The last one may be a stretch.” Rolling your eyes, you grab for the gel. “I’m serious though. My tattoo artist is based out of Vegas. The game is in Vegas this year. It’ll let me see Callie too, cause I’m having a hard time finding a gap to visit.” As he continues to speak without laughing or chuckling, you realize he’s dead serious. “I’ve been meaning to ask you to go anyway but kept forgetting.”

You need extra clarification. “Like this year's Usher concert where there’s apparently a game too?”

He rolls his eyes, providing the guest list. “It’s me and the twins, their family, some other fam…..we have a whole section, cause you know it's a bunch of us.” It’s still hard to sit on the fact that this man really just invited you to the fucking Super Bowl like it’s dinner at Golden Coral. His eyes soften. “I wanna see her. I wanna see you.”

Joe’s closing statement, so true and vulnerable, is what breaks you from your temporary state of shock. You get the sense he misses ya’ll just as much as you miss him. “Of course, we’ll go. I’m sorry, I just—I wasn’t expecting that.” And it’s true, you weren’t. “How will we get fl—”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of everything. I just need you to show up at the airport.”

That seems to be such a recurring theme with this man. He does everything he can to make things as easy for you as possible. It’s tremendously appreciated and doesn’t go without notice.

“This is the first time she’ll be meeting the twins,” you realize aloud. Hell, his family at all.

Joe nods, chuckling. “Yeah, they’ve been on my ass about that anyway. They want to meet her.”

Pinning down the section you just finished, you take down the next. A little over halfway done now. “Whoever you want her to meet is fine with me, Joe. I don’t even really have a say in that. She has every right to meet your family just as much as she’s had to meet mine.”

And it’s true. Unless it could present some harm to Callie, you don’t really feel like you have the right to object to things like that. You have zero desire to interfere with Joe and Callie anymore than you already have.

“I know. I just wanted to tell her the truth before introducing her to anyone else. Less lies.” Makes sense. Thinking about Callie meeting more family brings a small smile to your face. It’s what she deserves. Family members who actually want to be in her life.

The conversation brings something else to the forefront of your mind, partially due to Joe’s confession to you on Christmas but also a question you’ve wanted to ask him for much longer than you’d like to admit.

“So….” This shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it is. “There’s something I want to ask you, but I don’t…..I don’t want to overstep.” If he were to tell you that he’d rather you not, that’d be fine with you, one less stressful thing on your plate. But, of course, he’s silent, meaning he’s not going to object. So….you decide to bite the bullet and go for it. “What happened between you and your wife?”

You’re certain he wasn’t expecting that to be what you asked, but to your surprise, he answers. “We were young and got married for the wrong reason. I was 22. She was 21.”

Unsure but taking a big risk regardless, you ask in a small voice. “What was the reason?”

His answer isn’t what you’re expecting either. “She was pregnant.”

It takes a second for you to process what he’s saying. Your stomach is suddenly in knots, chest feeling tight. There’s no way he’s kept something like that from you. No way in hell. “Wait, does Callie have—”

“No.”

And just like that, you know. He doesn’t need to explain. It’s painfully obvious, especially as he looks away from the camera. You have a feeling you've unlocked a painful memory he’d most likely kept tucked away.

“I’m sorry.” It feels so stupid and unhelpful to say. What does that do for him? It doesn’t take away that experience, that loss that you can’t even begin to imagine. But, it’s all you can offer. “Just—forget I asked, let’s change the subject.” Do you have more questions? Of course. Like, why was there such a gap between their loss and the divorce? But, this is understandably a difficult and sensitive subject, and the last thing you want to do is trigger him more than you already have.

You know better than anyone how awful that can be.

He agrees with the subject change, going along with the transition of topics, clearly grateful for your understanding. But, in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think about the fact that this man lost his firs child before he could even meet the them, and the child he had who did survive was kept a secret from him for nearly five years.

There’s a sudden sickness and disgust you feel. And it’s not towards anyone but yourself.

Joe had every goddamn right to be furious with you about your subterfuge.

He still does. ________

“Mama, something is up with Callie.”

You’re thankful Alexis agreed to keep Callie preoccupied in the living room while you have this conversation with your mom, because Callie had another incident just this morning, slamming her door when you told her she needed to pick up her toys.

She’s never done that.

But she has done other things in the past two weeks or so, rolling her eyes or pouting her mouth at you when you say something she doesn’t want to hear, beyond typical tantrums.

Your mom stops her stirring at the pot to turn around and look at you. “What do you mean? Is she sick?”

“No,” you answer and then realize you’re not entirely sure how to explain it. She’s not being bad, per se. Just….difficult. “She’s just been…..off.”

Genuinely intrigued, and partially concerned, you watch your mom turn the fire on low as she joins you at the kitchen table. “Tell me.”

Shaking your head, you explain. “I thought it was just me, that I was just being overprotective and hyper-vigilant, but when I picked her up from preschool yesterday, her teacher pulled me to the side and asked me if she’s been having sleep problems. I told her no and asked why, and she told me Callie has been irritable. With staff and other kids.”

“Callie?” Your mom seems just as taken back as you were hearing these words. “That doesn’t even sound like her.”

“I know, and that’s what I said at first, but then I thought about it, and she’s been crabby with me too. It’s not horrible, but it’s unlike her.”

A small part of you wonders if it has something to do with you running off on her on Christmas. It would make sense. She was doing absolutely fine before then, but it’s the timing that throws that theory off. You’ve noticed this change only in the past two weeks, well after Christmas day passed, so why the delay?

“What does Joe think it is?”

“I haven’t told him.” It’s not that you don’t want to. You’d just like to have a better grasp of what it is before doing so. Have more actual information to provide him.

“He hasn’t seen the behavior for himself?”

You shake your head. “She’s fine with him. Matter of fact, after his calls, she’s like a completely different child.” It’s watching your mom’s face settle into a look of realization that makes you ask, “what? What is it?”

“Honey” she starts with a soft chuckle. “She’s missing her daddy.”

Her answer catches you by surprise, painting your face with confusion. You’ve had a lot of theories, but that definitely wasn’t one of them. “What?”

Reaching across the table, she places her hand over yours. “Think about it. How would she react if you were gone as much as he is? She’d be a mess, cause you’re her mama, and she has a strong attachment to you. Look how easily she attached and connected with Joe. It’s always been there. Except she knows the truth now, so her attachment is even stronger.” You heed to her explanation, wise and sensible. You hadn’t even thought of it that way. “And isn’t this the longest he’s been gone without her seeing him? She’s acting out because she misses him and probably doesn’t know how to verbalize it, so it shows in her behavior.”

As relieved as you are to have an explanation that makes sense, it’s an explanation that makes you incredibly sad for your sweet child. You know how hard it is for Joe to get away right now, you understand it. It never crossed you that she wouldn’t.

Devastated, you ask, “what do I do?”

“Talk to her. Try to help her understand. It may not make a huge difference, but it’s something.”

You nod, so so grateful for her, for all that she does for you, for Callie. For all that she’s done. Reaching across the table, you hug her tightly. “thank you, mama.” As much as it devastated you to not have that man in your life, your mom made sure to go above and beyond to make sure you knew you were loved. She played both roles beautifully, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to make her understand what that meant to you.

You still haven’t really sat her down and explained everything that happened Christmas night, nor has she asked, but you know it’s because she’s trying to respect your space. It’s appreciated, but you also know you’re gonna have to eventually tell her.

Just not now.

Right now, you’ve gotta take care of your baby.

________

Even the energy in Callie’s playroom feels off.

You’re so used to walking in and finding her with that million dollar smile that makes your entire day better. Instead, you walk in and she doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. She just continues to color.

“Hey, baby….” Disappointed, but refusing to show as such, you welcome yourself in and approach her table. “Is it okay if I color with you?”

She still doesn’t say anything, just nods, and you do your best not to hide your sadness. You hate seeing her this down, it’s so unfamiliar, and you’ll do just about anything to fix it.

Sitting down in the uncomfortable seat, you take a couple of her pages and pull out a crayon. “I have an idea.” At that, she looks up, slightly intrigued. “Why don’t we draw how we’ve been feeling lately? I draw me, and you draw you.”

You scold yourself for not selling it to her better, for not telling her it’s something you sometimes do with your students. Some level of innocent peer pressure. However, she surprises you by agreeing with a simple “okay.”

It takes a second for you to register that it was really that simple. Step one is done. Now for step two.

Grabbing some crayons, you don’t really concern yourself with skin tone, just getting something out on paper. The two of you color in silence, and you start to offer to put on her favorite playlist but decide against it.

You want her to really think about what you’re asking.

It’s when you see that she’s placed down her crayon and is just staring at her picture that you ask, “you done?” She shakes her head, but her eyes are on the table in front of her. “Is it okay if mommy sees it? I’ll show you mine too.”

Handing you the page, you expect an influx of emotions, but actually seeing her literal representation of how she feels is simply heartbreaking.

She’s drawn herself, frowning, surrounded by broken hearts and a blue tear leaking from her eye. Callie did what you asked. You just wish it didn’t have you feeling so helpless.

“This means you’ve been feeling sad, huh?” You hate how your voice gives away your emotions. This is about her, not you, but it’s so difficult for you to not be impacted. No mother wants to see her child hurting, and Callie currently is. It kills you. “Callie….” Moving up from your chair, you move across to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in yours. “Have you been sad because you miss your dad?”

All you need to hear is one sniffle, and instantly, you’re reaching for her, holding and comforting her.

“It’s okay,” you soothe, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay, baby.” She cries into your chest, and you have to hold back your own tears.

“Why doesn't he come back?” She asks in between tears, wiping her eyes. “He’s been gone a really long time.” It’s only then you realize that she’s not entirely exaggerating. Joe was last here for Christmas. It’s now the end of January. For a child like Callie, that must feel like an eternity.

“He would if he could, Callie. I promise you he would. Daddy just…he gets really busy with his job this time of the year, and he can’t leave or he’ll get in trouble.” It’s so difficult to explain this to her. WrestleMania season is inarguably chaotic and stupidly busy. Even back in the day, Joe’s trips to see you were most far and few in between during this time of year. And that was before he even had a title. You can’t even imagine how busy he must be as the literal fucking face of the company.

Enough to keep him from being able to come see you and Callie.

You’ve just gotten so used to the dynamics of him being away for periods at a time that it never occurred to you Callie hasn’t had the same experience. That at the end of the day she’s still a little kid who just wants to be with her dad.

It’s then that a thought crosses your mind.

“What if…..what if we went to see daddy?” For the first time since you stepped into the room, her eyes actually light up and you notice her tears lessening. “Instead of him coming to us, we go see him?”

“Really?” There’s the faintest smile on her face, and you know then that you’re going to make this happen. You don’t know how or in what way, but it will be a reality. No matter what it takes.

“Yeah,” you answer, brushing away some of her tears. “You can go see him at his show. He’d love that.” Not as much as she clearly loves the idea alone. “Now, we’d only be able to stay a day or maybe two but—”

“Please,” she interrupts, and you get the sense that she fears you’re going to find a way to say that you couldn’t or shouldn’t go. “I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”

“Baby, you’re already the best girl.” You push back some of her hair, resting your hand against her cheek. “Mama’s gonna make it happen, okay? I promise.”

If you have to sell one of your kidneys, then you’ll just be less one organ, because you’re getting your baby to that damn show. Matter of fact, you don’t say anything to her, but you’re wondering if you can make it to this week’s upcoming show. It’s only Sunday, and that gives you a couple of days to make arrangements and secure tickets. It’s doable, but you don’t want to get her hopes up, so just in case, you say nothing.

And yes, in the back of your mind, you know she’ll see Joe in a couple of weeks for the game, but that’s too long. Your child is hurting. You need to do something now. She can’t wait that long.

“Thank you, mommy!” She wraps her little arms around you, and just like that, you see the spark and joy that fills your days with light and laughter. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.” Kissing her temple, you release her, realizing something else. “Now we can't tell your daddy because we’re gonna surprise him, okay? Can you do that for me?”

She nods, happily, unaware of the real reason. You know that you can’t tell Joe about this. Well, not now at least. This is not something to be discussed over the phone or even video chat. And if you tell him you want to take her to see him as soon as possible, he’ll know something is up.

So, you have to move in silence.

Coloring with Callie commences for a little longer as you value and cherish your time with her, but as soon as she’s down for her nap and before you wake Alexis from hers to tell her the news, you need to do something. It’s in that time bonding with her you realized how you’re going to make this happen.

You’re suddenly immensely grateful for that random conversation you’d had with Joe a while back regarding the fact that he and the twins have had the same phone number since they were in high school.

Pulling out your phone, you scroll through your contacts until you land on the one you need. You type, backspace, and type some more, only sending out the text once you’re fully pleased with it.

You: Hey, Jon. This is Y/N. Can you call me when you get a chance? Preferably sooner rather than later. I need your help with something. And please don’t tell Joe. It’s a surprise.

________

God clearly wants you to bring Callie to see Joe.

There’s just too many things that have lined up perfectly for that not to be the case. The discussion with your principal went well, though that wasn’t entirely surprising. You’ve always had a cordial relationship and know she respected your grandma. The whole school system in your town did. That was just her level of impact. But that respect has slid down to work in your favor as your principal told you to take as much time as you need.

“You’ll always have a job here.”

While not a huge concern, it’s reassuring and not entirely unsurprising. Again, your grandma’s impact definitely granted you a level of nepotism. You were slightly surprised when she actually encouraged you to take more time off, pointing out how in the almost nine years you’ve worked there, she could count on one hand how much PTO or vacation time you’ve used. And, it’s true. It was really only when Callie was sick and your mom couldn't help or you wanted to stay home and nurse her back to health that you called out. For the most part, you had damn near perfect attendance.

But, that’s certainly about to change, and you’re thankful you have a job that’s flexible enough to accommodate the change.

And then there’s the actual getting there. You should have known when Alexis was asking questions about when you and Callie were leaving that she was up to something. You naively chalked it up to her planning her flight out, as there was no way you expected her to wait around for ya’ll to get back. Instead, she was busy buying not just her ticket to come with ya’ll but yours and Callie’s as well.

You instantly felt bad when she forwarded you the itinerary information. You couldn’t see the cost, but you weren’t stupid either. Getting flights out with such short notice had to be expensive as all outdoors. You were just going to put the bill on your credit card and work to pay it off. And, of course, when you offered to pay her back, she nearly cussed you out. As if such an offer was insulting.

“What good is a trust fund if you can’t spend it on your college roomie and pretend godchild?”

So, while you still felt slightly uncomfortable, you were able to push it to the backburner for the sake of Callie. This is all for her, and you don’t care what it takes to make it happen. Even if it means sucking up your pride.

And deep down, you know if Alexis didn’t do what she did, Joe would somehow find a way to compensate you. The same way his ass somehow got his card on file at the hospital and covered all of Callie’s medical bills without ever even asking you if you needed help.

You still haven’t talked to him about that, not really having or finding the right time, but it also feels a bit bitchy and ungrateful to be upset with the man for covering his daughter’s medical expenses.

Then there’s the actual show itself. One thing you were initially concerned about was if Joe has a match lined up for this upcoming week’s show. You two have only had a couple of discussions about it but still enough for you to learn that he’s extremely hesitant to expose Callie to his wrestling persona.

“I don’t want her seeing me like that, thinking that’s who I am.”

And you understand him fully. Roman may be a fascinating character, but he’s equally narcissistic and ruthless as he is intriguing. The complete opposite of Joe and who he is.

Still, you’ve worked to help him understand that talking to Callie, explaining to her that he’s playing a “character” could help her understand better. You both are in agreement that she’s too young to watch actual matches, especially his as they tend to get brutal, but she can see certain promos. And she does. You let her watch a couple where the dialogue is safe enough to go over her head. And truth be told, she’s so focused on watching Joe that she's not really paying attention to what’s being said anyway.

Needless to say, you were massively relieved to hear from Jon that Joe doesn't have a match lined up and his promo is reportedly tame and safe enough for Callie’s eyes and ears. He didn’t give specifics, but from one parent to another parent, you trust his judgment.

And the most important thing of all is the fact that Callie has done a complete 180. She’s no longer as irritable, just the usual attitude when she’s sleepy or hungry. Just like her mama. And there’s that spark of joy in her eyes. She’s even started packing what she wants to bring with her. She knows you’ll only be there for one night, but even that can’t seem to dim her joy.

It makes your heart swell.

All of this brings you to your conclusion that you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.

“Ahhh, and here it is.” The old woman’s voice breaks you from your inner dialogue as she walks toward the counter, returning from the back. “Sorry about that sweetheart.”

“No worries, Mrs. Ella.” Your eyes light when you see the item in her hand, even if it’s covered by a cloth bag. The fact that it’s ready is more than enough to make you smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this.”

She waves off your concern, offering a warm smile. “Your grandma was one of my best friends. As far as I’m concerned, anything you need is a done deal.”

That warms your heart. Mrs. Ella has been the town seamstress for longer than you’ve been alive but doesn’t look a day over 50. She’s not lying either. Your grandma always cited her as one of her “life” sisters.

“Why don’t we take a look to make sure it’s alright?” She offers, removing the item from the garment bag. She takes the hoodie and turns it over so you can see the back.

In awe, you acknowledge, “it’s perfect.”

Among the many things Joe has gifted Callie, WWE apparel hasn’t really been included in that list. You’ve chalked it up to his hesitation about familiarizing her with his Roman persona. However, you know that girl loves her daddy and will support him in all the things, so you took it upon yourself to pick her up a few items over the holidays. One of those things being a black hoodie with Roman’s picture on the front with him wearing one of his head of the table shirts. Wanting to make it special and personal, you had the idea of customizing it. Thus, asking Mrs. Ella to add to the back, Acknowledge my daddy!, and she did a fabulous job. It looks like that was the original design.

Pulling out your wallet, you ask, “how much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house.”

Your eyes snap to her. “Mrs. Ella, no, this was a rush—”

“Don’t argue with your elders, child,” she scolds, and you smile warmly. “Just show me a picture of her wearing it, and we’ll be even.”

Moved by her generosity, you offer your gratitude again. “Thank you, Mrs. Ella. Seriously. Thank you.”

Hand over yours, she just nods and then ushers you out the door, “well, you better get a move on child.”

With a small laugh and one more thank you, you leave out with the hoodie, excited to show Callie and even more, to see Joe’s reaction when he sees her wearing it.

“Y/N?”

Fuck. You’d know that voice anywhere, have known it since you were five years old.

That doesn’t mean you have to heed to it.

You keep walking.

A stupid decision, because the footsteps behind you become louder and faster as she asks, exasperated, “would you just talk to me?”

You spin around, suddenly pissed at her repeated question. “Why? Why should I talk to you?”

You’ve dodged and ignored her texts the same way she did yours, so what’s the issue now? Being on the receiving end must be one hell of an unpleasant experience for her. Not that you give two shits. Mariah is the last thing on your plate right now.

Mariah seems taken back, and that just pisses you off more. How can she not see her wrong in this situation? “You’re my best friend, Y/N. We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Did it mean something to you when you were fucking Amir?”

Something you can’t identify flashes in her eyes followed by apparent hurt. “Are you serious right now? You’d really believe him over me.” It’s hard to tell how sincere her watery eyes are or if they’re performative. You’ve never known her to be fake, but then again, maybe you’ve never really known her at all. “That’s fucked up.”

Finding some level of compassion and understanding for the woman you called your best friend for almost your entire life, you try to offer her the benefit of the doubt. “Okay, let’s say you’re not fucking him. At the very least, you’ve been telling him my business while ignoring my texts and calls. Like, what the fuck, Mo?”

She shakes her head. “He came to me, worried about you—”

“He came to you nosy and upset because I cut it off with him, and you fell into his trap.” How she can possibly fall for Amir’s bullshit is beyond you. She knows how he is. Hell, she’s been right beside you, up until recent weeks/months, dealing with his bullshit. So, her excuse is just that—an excuse. “And even if he was, as my best friend, you should know that’s still girl code violation.”

It feels almost silly citing that, but the morals behind it still ring true. You would never talk to Caleb about things going on in her life when you know they’re not on good terms. And you damn sure would never fuck him.

“Girl code?That’s funny coming from you, because you didn’t seem to to care about girl code when you were fucking another woman’s husband and had a whole ass baby for him.”

Her words stop you dead in your tracks. Any facial expression you may have been showing is dropped and neutral. Even your voice is softer, less accusatory. “Excuse me?”

For her to say that to you, knowing how sensitive a subject that is truly takes you by surprise. Truly.

It doesn’t stop there though. “I mean, forreal, Y/N. You’re up in my face about Amir, but aren’t you still fucking Joe? Shit, how many niggas do you need?” It’s hard to believe the words coming out her mouth, so angry and hostile. But, even her volume rising has you stumped. It’s like she wants to draw an audience. “It’s not enough to be one man’s whore, but you still gotta have another on the side?”

Truly baffled, all you can ask is, “where is this coming from?”

She sucks her teeth, just as irritated, if not more by your question. “It’s always been this shit with you. You do whatever the fuck you want and don’t care who you hurt or betray in the process!”

And now you’re just straight up confused, because what have you ever done to her? Cause that’s what it sounds like she’s implying. Like you’ve done her wrong. Like you’ve been doing her wrong. “What are you even talking about?”

“You got Joe. You got Amir. Shit, when is enough enough for you?” She scoffs, and it’s hard for you to even look at her let alone listen to all the hurtful things she’s spewing. “Like damn, find a new hobby. Focus on raising your kid—”

And that…..that is the moment that you’re no longer confused, or hurt, or saddened to hear your best friend say such awful things. You’re pissed. Cause one thing no one can convince you you’re not, is a good mother. You’ve dedicated your entire life and being to taking care of Callie, making sure she’s straight. That’s always been your priority, and for her to suggest otherwise….those are really fighting words.

You step toward her, finding all of the will in the world not to shatter her jaw. “You and I have so much history. It is the only reason I’m not whooping your ass right now, but know this, Mariah. This was your freebie. Fuck with me again, speak on my child again, and I’ll bash your fucking head into the nearest wall.” It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. “Stay away from me, bitch.”

You don’t give her time to respond or even yourself the chance to lay her out, you instead rush to your car, locking the door and speeding out of the parking lot.

Your knuckles are nearly white with how tightly you’re gripping the steering wheel.

It’s been a while since you’ve been this hot. Years maybe. Amir would piss you off, sure, but never to the extent of your emotions in this moment. It truly took all resolve and imagining Callie’s disappointed face at not being able to see her dad because you got yourself locked up for aggravated assault to keep you from beating Mariah’s ass. She knows better than anyone that you don’t play about your daughter, so for her to include Callie in her mud slinging is not only repugnant but hurtful.

She’s supposed to be Callie’s godmother.

But beyond that, you’re having a hard time reconciling with the rest of the things she was saying. It didn’t feel like something that’s been building up over the past few months. No, this was different. Much…..deeper.

Regardless, you don’t have time to deal with this shit. You need to put your focus on preparing to bring your little girl to see her dad.

Mariah can fuck off.

She’s always been all bark and no bite anyway.

________

“Mommy.”

Callie doesn’t even have to say anything else for you to know a request is to follow.

“What's up, sis?”

She climbs on top of where you lay on the sofa, you and Alexis watching some random dating show she swears up and down is the best thing since Love is Blind. So far, you’re entirely unimpressed. Granted, reality shows of any kind have never been your cup of tea in the first place.

Your YouTube history is mostly crime documentaries and Bloodline videos.

She climbs on top of you, throwing her arms up and shouting, “dance party!”

Of all her typical requests, that’s one you haven’t heard in a while.

You’ve always raised Callie with music, even back when you were pregnant, you would take your Beats and place them on your belly. It’s seemingly worked because this child loves music, so much so that you two would have random “dance party’s” where you’d blast music and dance around, no care in the world, just the two of you.

You haven’t had one in a while, but seeing Callie so happy, a stark contrast from how she’s been is more than enough to get you up and on your feet. You look over at Alexis. “Come on, Lex, it’s dance party time.”

She feigns a gasp, looking at Callie for approval. “Do I get to come to this party?”

Callie giggles and jumps on the sofa. “Of course! Everyone can come to dance party!”

What’s also ironically funny is the fact that you and Alexis used to have dance parties all the time in your dorm, just often with much more explicit Travis Porter, Speaker Knockerz, type music and a lot of ass shaking.

“Well tonight, it’s just the three of us,” you laugh, grabbing your phone and opening your Spotify to figure out what will be your kickoff song. It’s when your eyes land on that one though, you know you’ve found it.

Connecting your phone to your Bluetooth, you confirm the connection and hit play.

We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea

But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be

“My favorite white girl song ever!” Alexis shouts, starting to dance with Callie who’s just as excited about your selection. Together, the three of you dance and sing when the iconic chorus hits.

If you gave me a chance I would take it

It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it

Know with all of your heart, you can't shake me

When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

At some point, Alexis grabs your phone, recording and capturing the laughter and joy you experience dancing and being silly with your very, very best friend. Callie’s laughter could revive any soul, and it’s so genuine. Even more, you know a large chunk of it is her excitement to see her dad in a couple of days.

And that makes it all the more special.

Eventually needing a break and time to catch your breath, you laugh as the song ends and the next one starts. Lex and Callie immediately go at it for round two, spinning around and dancing to Dance the Night.

You take a second to check your phone, seeing that you have a Snapchat from Joe. Frowning, you open the message confused as to why he’s using that and not just text. He only has the damn app because you made him get it. He’s not very big on social media outside of occasional Instagram posts.

Swiping it open, you see why he was messaging you on there.

Because your wonderful best friend sent him the video she recorded of the three of you dancing.

Joe: How do I save this?

Joe: Fuck it. It’s too confusing. Just send it to me.

Laughing, you chew on your bottom lip and type out a reply.

You: You’re such an old man. 😩

You: But yes, I’ll send it, even if I didn’t know Alexis was recording to send it to you...

You: Callie loves “dance parties” lol

Joe: I love her laugh. She looks so happy…

You: I know. ❤️ She loves music. Def my kid.

You: Skillet is next on the queue, btw. 🙃

Joe: Don’t know what that is, but if I had to take a guess, it’s some rock shit.

You: You know me so well. 😊

Joe: Of course, baby.

Leaving his thread, you realize that if she sent it to Joe, she probably posted it to your private story as well, which is fine. You only have people on there you know and trust to keep the contents within that space.

But, it’s in checking the views that you see Mariah not only watched but screen recorded your story. It’s strange, normally you wouldn’t think twice about it. She’s always screenshotted and screen recorded stuff you posted, and you did the same with Micah.

But now…..

Now, it feels wrong to share these moments with her. She’s lost that privilege.

Moving to your contacts, you ignore her old Snapchat name she never uses anymore and instead just block her primary one from seeing your stories, and that includes close friends. And interestingly enough, when you check your texts, you see one from her muted thread that momentarily causes you to pause.

Mariah: Kinda stupid to ice out the one person who knows everything about you.

But the pause comes and goes, Mariah always says shit, and that’s where it stops, the saying. She’s always been the mouse of you two, and that shit ain’t changed.

Closing up the app, you switch back to Spotify and focus on what’s before you and not behind you.

You have all the people you need in your life.

Mariah can fuck off.

#roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns fic #roman reigns #arisnotebook

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