#i'm so glad they had this and it wasn't as sudden an in the novel

[pharawee]

—I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR 💮 Episode 12 (Finale)

[retroellie]

Dating Spencer Reid

Summary: What dating spencer Reid is like

A/N: I wrote this super-fast because I know I haven't really been active... so I wanted to write something quick for y'all! I miss y'all and I hope y'all enjoy!

Warnings: Some NSFW moments

Word count: 1.5K

-Spencer grew up on Victorian romance novels and old valentines' poems, so he was quite the hopeless romantic

-When Spencer wasn't solving theories and getting PHDs, he was dreaming of a beautiful romance. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that he isn't the most confident boyfriend, but he makes up for it in his own way!

-Y'alls first date was something straight out of a movie! I mean it was a bouquet of flowers, an expensive dinner followed by a movie theater that played only old 50's films.

-It was the kind of date that had you falling in love with him first thing, knowing that this boy was the person you see yourself coming home to every night.

-After the date, Spencer offered you his jacket and walked you home. It was a chilly night, the streets lit up from the moonlight. He rambled on and on about the movie, but you couldn't even focus on what he was saying because you were too distracted by him.

-What you fell more in love with was the fact he didn't expect you to even kiss him!

-He was more than okay to say your "goodbyes" and "see you later" than leave.... but you gave him a soft peck before heading into your apartment. Even throughout the darkness you could see his blush.

-Anyways, that date led to a beautiful love story between y'all

-Spencer was a romantic even in the littlest of ways, like sending flowers to your work randomly or leaving you small poems in your fridge before he leaves so it feels as though he never really leaves.

-Spencer would always make sure to call you every night when he was away for work... I mean EVERY night.

-"Spencer honey it's 3am here..."

-"I know! But I just wanted to call you, should I call back in the morning?"

-"No, I'm already up and well I miss hearing your voice anyways." You laughed softly.

-The start of your relationship was so innocent, there was no sex or jealousy... it was just so simple and romantic

-There was lots of making out though, something that surprisingly Spencer was the one to initiate every time.

-There were just lots of times when you two would be discussing a book that Spencer probably recommended to you, then all of a sudden, his tongue would be down your throat.

-He was getting used to hugs and the touching, but kissing was something that felt so natural when he did it with you.

-Speaking of books! He had a list of books he recommended to you, like books that you never thought you'd read but you're glad you did yk?

-You would finish a book in one sitting and call him immediately to talk about it

-In turn though, you would bring him into the modern era and show him newer movies and music. Most of the stuff he did not like, but he pretended to like it to be nice.

-The first couple of months of your relationship, the team had no idea you existed. They started to notice spencer being in a lot better mood, but nothing too alarming.

-However, Derek Morgan is a lady killer... so he caught on a lot faster than the others.

-Like one time, the whole team was going out for drinks and Spencer said he had plans... Derek caught him in a lie real fast

-"So, who's the lucky lady?"

-"What?"

-"Pretty boy...I don't need to be a profiler to figure out why your suddenly so "busy.""

-Because of Morgan prying, Spencer decided to invite you out with the team one night.

-The team was all pretty nice, but very confused on why someone like you would want someone like spencer?? You two were completely different from each other... like night and day damn near

-Besides your differences, the team fell in love with you probably harder than Spencer did. I mean Penelope basically adopted you by the end of the night... she did however do her background checking before meeting you, but we don't gotta talk about that.

-The meeting of the team made the relationship real, like now you had become a part of their small family, and they trusted you enough to take care of spencer

-Spencer also felt this was a huge step, like now that his family accepted you, he was going to spend the rest of his life with you

-Spencer would always bring you up when he got the chance now, putting a framed picture of you and him on his desk just so people would ask about you.

-"Oh, who's this?" Someone would ask.

-"That's my girlfriend, Y/N. We've been dating for 11 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days. She's a (profession) and she smells like lavender."

-Like girl, all they asked was who you were... not every detail of your existence.

-But now that you guys are now officially dating, and everyone knows it... there's some newfound jealousy

-Spencer knew that you were attractive, but sometimes he forgets that you are also attractive to others as well

-Sometimes when you come into the FBI office, he sees other men staring you down... probably wondering how a nerdy boy like him could get someone like you.

-Spencer getting jealous is quiet and polite. He doesn't get angry or upset, we all know he does not do good with emotions. So, he'll just keep his distance from you, accepting the fact that you could leave him at any moment and not wanting to feel the effects of it.

-He will go silent for days if you didn't ask him about it, not even sure what he was feeling but knew he didn't like it.

-"Just didn't like how he was looking at you... made me feel weird."

-"You're jealous?"

-"I guess... I don't know."

-You just laughed it off, telling him how you would never choose anyone over him even if there was a gun to your head.

-Spencer also remembers everything about everything so... he picks up on your favorite things and your little quirks, plus he never forgets an anniversary!

-Derek bullies the shit out of him, like omfg

-he'll always call you his mommy and make kissing sounds when you call him, loud enough for the entire office to hear.

-"Muah muah muah... Oh Y/N!!" Derek yells, making sure you heard him.

-"So let me guess... Dereks with you?"

-"How'd you know?"

-He actually doesn't use too many pet names, but you definitely do lmao. His name is literally "Spenice poo <3" on your phone.

-Eventually, Spencer asks you to move in with him and omfg!!! You are so excited, like jumping up and down excitedly.

-I feel like spencer would be so domestic too omfg

-He would play music while cleaning the house, but it would all be like Mozart and classical music. You would always grab him by the waist and start dancing with him, you both looked so stupid but at least it was together.

-He would ramble to you all the time and you were probably the only person in the world that would let him, honestly you enjoyed it too.

-Like you had just gotten out of the shower, Spencer barged in and started talking about a case. He sat on the toilet seat while you did your skin care, just rambling on and on about how sick this person was.

-Yours and Spencer's different aesthetics clashed a lot in the house, like Spencer's apartment was slowly being taken over by you and your stuff... but he didn't mind.

-Since you guys have decided to take your relationship to another big step... Spencer decided he wanted you to pop his cherry.

-Spencer wasn't too experienced and he's never really had sex before. He's done stuff with someone, but never the actual act of it.

-He wanted to do it way before, but he thought it would complicate everything and honestly, he wasn't completely ready for it yet.

-You made sure it was the perfect night, you had it planned out. You took him on a picnic, watching the sunset as you loosened him up a little bit, making sure he was comfortable before setting yourself down on his lap.

-You were so soft with him; I mean you were afraid you might break him. He had to beg for you at one point because you weren't going fast enough.

-The next morning, he had to go into work, something about him was different... his confidence boosted a bit. Derek could sense it from a mile away, making sure Spencer knew that he knew.

-The popping of his cherry had created something inside spencer, he found his favorite thing to do, and he wanted it at all times

-You obviously were glad to give him whatever his little heart desired, so you let him fuck you anytime he wanted. Sometimes it even got a little filthy... something you would have never guessed about spencer.

-My bad I got sidetracked... but spencer was also way touchier with you

-Spencer was never really touchy in public, but now it's all he ever did. If you were in the room with him, then his attention would be completely on you.

-He really just felt so safe with you, knowing that you gave him not only your body but also your mind... he just wanted you, period. 

[sharlulu]

𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞

Wolf Keum x fem reader

"Sometimes you make me very lonely," you said while quietly observing how crimson red dripped down from his head.

You have always found this color pretty. Ever since that first time you've met Wolf, awe struck you every time you saw his bloodied figure. But now the color that you had once loved (glorified?) so much was making you feel increasingly uncomfortable. It no longer brought you that fascination – your enthrallment with it had long vanished into nothing.

You looked at the used bandages in your hand. They were completely dirtied. Red had stained their original color. In the past you thought that watching blood quickly seep through the white fabric was captivating, but at some point that sight became nauseating.

You felt as if the bitterness and inexplicable sorrow were going to suffocate you. It was strange, these novel feelings made you very confused. For some reason, all the previous days when Wolf returned injured like this, you were always surprisingly calm. You even enjoyed the process of patching him up and chatting with him about whatever was on your mind.

You recalled how you had once thought that such brutality suited him so well. He was like a painting – a masterpiece of raw wilderness, pristine, untouched beauty. He resembled a feral wolf that hadn't been blemished by society. And yet, the more you interacted with him, the more human he became. He was no longer just the object of your blind worship, he became someone extremely dear to you.

Maybe that's why it was so painful to see him wounded?

Before you had never questioned his unhinged cruelty, now, however, you couldn't help but grow increasingly curious as to why he became so. Before you marveled at his bloodied sight, now you longed to see him relaxed and at peace. Before you perceived him only as an ideal concept, now you could finally see him as a person – flawed but human nonetheless. That's why you were no longer satisfied with just looking at him from afar, you wanted him to talk to you more, spend time with you and smile at you.

You were very patient with him. Sometimes he would reply to you almost instantly, other times your questions would be met with silence (like right now). However, he would always give you an answer no matter how much time had passed since your conversation. His temper was also unpredictable. Though he was usually quite aloof, he could also be very restless and irritable, itching for a fight every now and then. He was a good listener though. If the subject interested him, he would seriously pay attention to your words, if not, he would honestly tell you that. While he wasn't the type of person that would give valuable advice when you were down, he would always stay with you until you were well enough. Even if it wasn't easy being with Wolf, you still persisted, as the joy that his company brought to you was boundless.

Seeing that Wolf had chosen to ignore your previous statement, you nervously laughed "Forgive me, that must have been too sudden for you".

He nodded while you continued applying ointment to his wound.

"Has somebody ever told you that you are very much similar to a cat?"

Perhaps unconsciously he reached put to straighten the violet ruffles of his hair. That action of his was so sudden and cute that you bursted out laughing.

"You know," said Wolf looking as if he was ready to kill you at any given moment, "I'm glad that not everyone is as crazy as you are, Y/n."

"But you are like a cat! Not only in appearance but in temperament also."

"What?" – he looked at you incredulously.

"Sometimes cats can make their owners feel incredibly lonely. When you want to play with them, but they aren't in the mood, when you want to pet them, but they run away, when you want them to be as affectionate as dogs, but they are too prideful. You are similar to them in that aspect. You make me feel lonely sometimes but also immeasurably happy as well. Like an unrequited love, I suppose"

Having said all that, you were scared to look at him. It also didn't help that Wolf went silent.

…Which is why what he said next caught you by surprise.

"Cats love their owners too," he lowered his eyes, a hint of red appearing on his ears.

"Though I'm not a cat" his blush was even more noticeable now.

It's a wonder how such simple words could make you so ecstatic.

"Ahh, I'm so glad that I have no idea what to say! Can I look at you for more than 3 seconds from now on?"

"As if you weren't doing that already" he retorted.

"Oh come on, serious conversations require eye contact, you know? And it's also basic etiquette! Plus, I've never looked straight into your eyes, I always look at your nose or mouth when speaking"

"…You and your horrible excuses!"

He who carries talent must be the purest of all souls. Another will be forgiven a lot, but he will not be forgiven. If a person goes outside in white, festive clothes and is splashed with even the tiniest drop of mud, all the surrounding people will point their fingers at him and speak about his untidiness – those same people who do not notice countless stains on other passerby dressed in everyday clothes. Because on cheap, ugly clothing even the biggest of stains are invisible.

You've always thought that this phrase applied to delinquents as well. Just replace "talent" with "status", "purity" with "reputation". The things that they would do to protect their reputation was sometimes borderline ridiculous. They would smoke to seem scary, speak loudly, use an excessive amount of foul words in their language, behave rudely to almost everyone – all to protect their measly reputation. The most absurd thing was the fact that they were not as respected if they didn't follow these unwritten rules.

Wolf was different in this aspect. He couldn't care less about the way he acted in front of others. He always remained true to himself whether he was with you or not, whether other people surrounded him or not. He didn't have to go out of his way to make them respect him. His aura, appearance, demeanor and fists were enough to make others revere and fear him.

It was as if Wolf lived in another world, where other people and things just did not exist. In that far away land there were no tears, no sadness, no rules and regulations, in that land he was truly free. That's why you were so happy when he reached out to you, inviting you into his world. Perhaps now you wouldn't be lonely anymore.

A/n: i wanted to write something about donald, but it ended up being about wolf anyway..... also, i'm hopeless at writing dialogue - wolf literally only has two lines тт - тт

i swear i will write something not about wolf one day... or probably not

[mlmxreader]

First Time For Everything | Forrest Bondurant x gn!reader

anonymous asked: Forrest Bondurant Hey!! Hope everything's going as well as it can 🖤. May I please ask for a work using the following prompts for Forrest Bondurant X non-binary, male, or gn!Reader: "Just fucking leave it, alright?!"+"Tell him, tell him that I-" Thank you 🖤! 🐍anon

summary: there's a first time for everything, even if it's just a little thing.

tws: swearing, mentions of violence

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

When Forrest first met you, you were little more than a brawler; mouthing off to everyone who so much as looked at you in a way you didn't like, always the first to throw a punch. You challenged him, more often than not, and although he trusted you when it came to business, you were better off as an enforcer than anything else.

You didn't work well with others, except Forrest; he knew what you were like, and although he could be brutal when he needed to be, he preferred to do things without violence. You were just added muscle for him in case he needed it. But then, the two of you were rather inseparable. You slept in the same bed, got out of bed at the same time and refused to move if the other was still asleep, you ate together, you bathed together.

You did almost everything together. But while you would sit nearby and read a book, some stupid dime novel more often than not, he would be sitting nearby drinking and figuring out what was happening the next day.

You liked moments like that, and although Forrest never said anything, he did, too. Today was a quiet day, thankfully, light grey clouded skies and soft rains, a chilly wind; Forrest gave you one of his cardigans when he noticed that you were getting a bit nippy.

But more than anything, you were both just lounging around for the day; it wasn't often that things were quiet, it wasn't often that there wasn't something going on that required hours of work. You were glad of it, really. It was nice to be able to just lounge around with Forrest, knowing that he didn't expect you to talk and finding solace in the easy quiet that settled in the room.

You felt like you could actually breathe when Forrest was around, especially if he was in your line of sight.

But he looked at you differently today, and you weren't exactly sure as to why; it was the type of hungry, desperate gaze that you had seen men give women at local pubs, but you knew that Forrest would never think about you that way. You were sure of it.

But tried as you did, you couldn't help but to look at him from the corner of your eye every now and then, chewing at the inside of your lip as you hummed and shook your head.

"Something on your mind?"

You nearly flinched at the sudden sound of his voice, pulling you violently from your thoughts just as they were about to start straying down a path that you were less than keen on going down. "Not really, just… thinking."

"Uh-huh." He didn't seem convinced or satisfied with your answer in the slightest. "Thinking."

You sighed heavily, getting up from your chair and clearing your throat, unsure of why your legs were shaking and why your heart was pounding in your chest when you caught his gaze. "I'm gonna, uh, I'm gonna go get some firewood. Meant to be cold later."

Forrest raised a brow, huffing as he put down his papers and stood up, careful as he followed you; he could see the tremble of your hands as you opened the door, the slight uneasy steps that you were taking as you went down the back. For a moment, he wondered if you had caught onto him, but he was sure that he had been careful and quiet enough that you wouldn't have.

It wasn't that he didn't want you to know how he felt, and nor was it that he thought it would be a bad idea to get involved with you that way; but nobody knew the risks of his business better than Forrest. Nobody knew the unsafety that came with being around him. Sure, you could handle yourself - but what if you were caught off guard?

What if you were outnumbered and outgunned? What if someone chose the right spot, at the right place and time to pull the pin?

He paused in his tracks, sitting on the floor as he looked up at the sky for a moment.

"You gonna tell me?"

"Just fucking leave it, alright?!" You snapped.

Anyone else would have run off scared, knowing your temper all too well; how you were a loaded gun, and all they had to do was give the wrong look, say the wrong word, and the trigger would be pulled. But not Forrest. He just looked at you, trying to hide the concern in his eyes as he chewed at the inside of his lip.

"Easy."

You sighed, dropping to your knees next to the axe, your hands still resting on the handle as you shook your head. "Forrest, I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"Keep pretending like I haven't noticed," you huffed. "And like I don't… like I don't know what that look is, but you… you'd never fucking want me like that."

Slowly, he started moving closer, stopping when you glared at him until you allowed him to sit right in front of you, a small smile on his lips as he grunted softly and nodded.

"Go away," you whispered. "Get out of my face, Forrest. Please. Just… tell Howard, tell him, tell him that I-"

Gently, Forrest grabbed your face in his rough and calloused hands, forcing you to look at him. "Can I kiss you?"

You nodded. "Yeah."

He couldn't help but to smile a little, kissing you softly and gently; a man capable of greater violence than you could be, so tender and so careful with you even though he knew you so fucking well. He worried about your safety, but he knew that he could keep you safe.

He pulled away, features clearly pink as he cleared his throat. "Partners?"

You leaned back, sighing. "So… I was wrong."

Forrest nodded.

"First time for everything," you joked quietly. "Forrest… why didn't you tell me?"

"I worried."

"You still worried?" You asked quietly.

He nodded.

"Don't be," you murmured. "I can look after myself, and you… you can help."

[holdingforexo]

I'm the anon that wrote the novel on the exo separation btw, but I also want to throw it out there that it's entirely possible that I may be in the minority for feeling like Luhan & Zitao's departures were sudden. And I don't want to assume that my perspective was/is the same as most other exo-ls at the time.

Thank you for sending this in! I attached the first part of your message below—and I added some comments below that. It’s nice getting accounts from someone who was around during that time. I know this blog primarily serves as a countdown project, but I’m glad it’s also a place of safe discussions for EXO-Ls ♥️

I don't want this to come off as arrogant and "well I was there, so I know better" in any way, so I hope it doesn't. And admin please feel free to ignore this if you think my commentary on all of this is unnecessary. There is also so much personal conjecture in all of this. I clearly wasn't there with them in the room when they made their choices to leave, and it was so long ago. But this is just how I interpreted their decisions to leave as a fan of the group and them when they were a part of it. But for context, I've been following exo since predebut, and from what I remember, when Luhan left, it was pretty sudden. At least from a fan stand point. It hadn't been long since he-who-doesn't-deserve-the-time-it-takes-to-type-this left, and they were in the middle of a tour. Overdose was relatively new too. But with that being said, it wasn't exactly a secret that Luhan was struggling with his health, and it's entirely possible that he had talked about it with the exo members before making his decision to leave. To me, it always felt like he left because he felt like he had to for his own sake and not because he really wanted to. Like the potential for hard feelings there feels lower to me than Zitao per se. But that's just my own opinion on it. And with Tao, it kind of felt like he stole away in the middle of the night. I don't know if that makes sense or not. And I don't fault him for leaving either. It's no secret that SM has always treated non-Korean members of groups worse than their Korean counterparts. I think he just maybe saw a better, more successful future for himself apart from the group and apart from being a Korean based idol. And obviously he is doing well for himself now. I think making that choice for that reason has the potential for hurt feelings between him and the exo members though. Almost like he was using exo as a career stepping stone, if you will. But again, pure speculation on my part. And I wouldn't quite be able to blame him if that were his reasoning either. As for Lay, it's like comparing apples & oranges. He made a different choice, so some awkwardness between them makes sense to me. I think you said it very well that it's just about the relationships you choose to invest in. And I know fans don't really like talking about it 1) because it happened so early on in all of their careers and all parties involved became successful in their own right. 2) it was genuinely so heartbreaking to be a part of and watch go down. You could see how much it hurt the exos. And they had to just keep moving forward with the public watching their every move as they were dealing with whatever emotions they were feeling about it. It was... it was a lot. And 3) a lot of former exo-m enthusiasts/exo fans still have a lot of love for Luhan & Zitao and what they meant to the group and members back then. And I know most wish nothing but the best for them and their individual careers. But ultimately, it just makes the most sense to talk about them, 99% of the time, as the separate entities that they are and not in relation to each other or what when down nearly a decade ago.

I absolutely agree with you—that of the departures, Luhan’s felt more like a “need” rather than a want. I remember seeing a concert clip of Luhan’s last show with EXO, and the OP stated noticing everyone looked a bit sad, and extra attention was given to Luhan by the others. I think it was assumed everyone knew it was going to be their last show with Luhan. This, in part, is why I’ve thought Luhan’s departure was discussed among the EXO members. While probably not as close as EXO is now, I do believe Luhan was genuine friends with everyone—especially Minseok—so I can’t imagine he didn’t discuss things with them.

I obviously was not around when Zitao departed EXO. But, from going through content released during that time, it actually seemed, to me, like Zitao was the one with the most internal struggles about leaving. I don’t know how reliable this is, but I read Zitao prepared for CMB on a strained ankle, and continue to do so until his father had to come to South Korea to bring him home to China because Zitao was continuing work while extremely ill. EXO was in the middle of a comeback, and I think some people just assumed the lawsuit was for publicity. So when Zitao actually did depart, that’s why there was shock. Again, hearsay.

I think when the first departure happened, Zitao was probably the most upset and frustrated. I think it’s safe to say Zitao was closest to Sehun, and I find it hard to think Zitao didn’t at least discuss things with him, if not with everyone. Because of how Zitao responded during the first departure, I want to believe he wouldn’t do the same to the others.

Your mentioning of the departures hurting EXO makes me think about the statement they jointly released when Jongdae announced his marriage...

“Before officially announcing member Chen’s marriage plans, all of the EXO members took time to discuss the matter critically, and as all of the EXO members have previously suffered the hardships of losing members in the group, the team as a whole relayed their wishes to continue with the current members without changes. We also respected the members’ wishes in this matter, and so we again notify that there will be no member changes in EXO.”

If I’m remembering correctly, this was the first time they publically acknowledged the previous departures. The sentiment of wanting to stay together was from the members themselves, not the company. I think some people, especially solo fans, want to believe EXO are just colleagues, that there are no emotional attachments. But these men literally grew up together, and share experiences that no one else can relate. We only know what EXO wants us to know, and I think assuming anything about how real or fake their relationship and bond with each other is, is incredibly presumptuous. As you said, the events happened nearly a decade ago. I like to think time helps heal wounds. So, even if there were bad feelings, I hope time and hindsight provided everyone with clarity on what’s important to themselves.

[recalcitrantbeetroot]

Okay, first post ever on Tumblr. This is also the first time I am ever posting something I've written, but fortune favors the bold, right? So here I go. I guess. I have no idea what I'm doing.

This is a short excerpt from a Mass Effect 3 novelization that I am working on. Centered around FemShep and Kaidan. It implies some NSFW themes but is not, in itself, explicit. It is also completely unedited. I am using this as a prompt fill for a post on the Kaidan Alenko subreddit. If you love the biotic booty boy, you should head over there!

Prompt: husky.

She found him in the mess, making himself a cup of tea, a pair of leftover breakfast sandwiches heating in the microwave. He seemed to be happy at first glance, so she tamped down hard on her sudden anxiety.

He looked up at her approach.

"Hey there." His voice was deeper, still husky with sleep, which did nothing the quell the fluttering in her stomach.

"Hey yourself," she smiled, heading to the coffee maker to refill her mug. "Just ... checking in."

"I'm glad. Say, you uh ... you left without waking me."

She looked up from putting sugar in her cup, trying to judge his mood. He leaned against the counter with one hip, half his face hidden as he took a sip. She used to be able to read him so easily, but these damn nerves were clouding her judgement. She decided to try for playful.

"You looked so peaceful. I didn't have the heart."

His chuckle warmed her all the way to her toes. "Well, thanks, but I wouldn't have minded."

"I know as well as anyone that a good night's sleep is hard to come by these days. I need my team rested." She put her mug down. Facing him with her best all business look. "Cards on the table, I was a little worried. I know we were taking things slow and last night was anything but. I wanted to check in with you. Make sure everything is okay."

Give you an out if it wasn't what you wanted ... was what she didn't say. He frowned as if he wasn't quite sure where she was coming from with all this.

"If I remember correctly. I was the one who showed up at the door to you cabin looking for something to happen."

"Yeah, but I kissed you first and ... I just hope I didn't take advantage of you in a moment of vulnerability. That's all."

His expression softened, reaching out to touch her face. "Rin, no. If anything I've been using you as a sounding board without giving you much of a chance to reciprocate. Last night was ... was exactly what it had to be for us to move forward, I think. I don't regret it. And I hope you don't either."

She leaned into his hand and kissed his palm before he pulled it away. "Not even a little."

"Good." The word was definitive, like the matter was closed. He pulled his food out of the microwave and made as if to walk away and leave the conversation there. But in moving behind her, he brushed close against her back, bending down to place the ghost of a kiss right below her ear. Goosebumps raised on her arms and her lungs stopped accepting air. And he spoke his next words against the skin there, breath hot and voice deepening to something hungry. "And Erin ... next time? Wake me."

And then he left her like that, striding away to go work on reports in the lounge, as casual as a summer day.

[nihilnovisubsole]

Hi, I hope this isn't a bother, but I'm attempting to be a writer and feeling a bit lost in my life, trying to gain some footing, and I was wondering how did you start out with writing or what has your writing journey looked like? Did you go to school for writing specifically or was it something that came after?

sure, i can always talk about that. i've told a lot of these stories before, but they're worth re-telling. your perspective changes over the years. when you say "lost" and "trying to gain footing," i'm not sure whether you mean professionally or emotionally, so i'll talk about both.

i always wanted to be a writer. a lot of writers share that experience: a deep, primordial urge that they felt from an early age. they'll say, "i can't not write," or they'll describe these nagging ideas that they simply have to exorcise. it's not everyone, though. some people start writing to process a hard time in their life, or they journal, but don't think about making a career of it until later. some authors say a specific book awakened something in them. you get the idea. in short, there's no bad place to start.

but i always knew. i also knew i wanted to be a lit major, and i grew up in a household that pushed very hard toward that. i didn't care that it wasn't a slingshot to a high-paying job. i wanted to study books and be a writer, and that was that. [there were a few reasons i chose lit over creative writing! we can get into that later. i'm already going to keep you a while.]

this is a philosophically-tricky part of the story to tell. i don't know where you are. in america, college is, well, a lot. it's hideously expensive. most undergrads go into debt. many would question the wisdom of throwing that money toward an english degree. it's an ugly debate, and it squeezes the beating heart of what you think the point of higher education is. i don't get into it, because between good grades and sudden, extreme poverty, the financial aid system took pity on me. i got my lit training debt-free. i was lucky. most people don't. i'm very glad i did it! should you? you'll have to decide for yourself.

the thing was, in my late teens, i didn't appreciate it. i was too busy fretting that i wasn't any good. [if you've read my old stuff, you might laugh to yourself and say, "oh, don't worry, you weren't!" but, you know, don't rub it in.] i was down a well that most creative people find themselves in at some point: both terrified to fail and utterly convinced that i would. i thought i'd never manage to write a novel-length story. my plots had huge flaws that i had no idea how to fix. so i just... did nothing! i avoided serious writing projects for years, because it was easy, and i didn't want to confront all that.

it took two things to break me out of that: fallout new vegas, and life dumping a bucket of cold water over my head. many games have great plots, but fallout new vegas hit storytelling notes that i'd never seen in an RPG before. i felt connections to steinbeck and the old movies i'd been raised with. i wanted to dig into the world and explore new corners of it. at the same time, i noticed that some people were skeptical of my writing, and even the legitimacy of my desire to pursue it. it made me mad as hell! more than that, it made me realize that if you want to do something, you have to actually do it. i'm not telling you to write a thousand words a day. i'm saying your love of it has to triumph over your fear of being bad. don't underestimate spite as fuel. i threw myself into a new vegas fanfic, and once i finished it, i never looked back. i've written steadily ever since.

even so, i had a problem. you can't pay bills with fanfic. i graduated, and the world of adult finance became real. first, i kicked the can down the road and applied to writing MFAs, thinking i'd get scouted for a publishing deal there. i got rejected from all of them, and i later found out that MFAs don't work like that anyway, so, eh. i cried, i moved on. i still had to make some money, so i took a job transcribing reality TV bites for some fifty bucks a week. it was only a couple of years later that i noticed a friend of mine had found a contract job writing for a mobile romance game. i inquired about it, and - hallelujah! they were taking new writers! it didn't work out the first time! they asked me back a few months later! as gullible and desperate i was, and as sour as things became, i still never would have gotten started if it weren't for them.

if you're looking for work, i'd tell you to keep your eyes open. writing opportunities won't always come where you think they do. as henry rollins says, "say yes to stuff." i could give you a more detailed history of my job-hunting if you'd get some use out of it. if your conflict is more emotional, i'd ask, what are you drawn to? what parts of human experience interest you? failing that, what do you find hot? you're smart. you'll figure it out.

[amplifyme]

Been eating away at more episodes; and thinking more thoughts~.

The Alchemist: Wow. What an episode. John Pater with the gravitas of older, villainous role (ala Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, or Peter Cushing)-- incredible presence, a real menace, knowing when and how to advance and retreat. Cathy's police force/family loyalty and the pressure she starts putting on Vincent about it, Vincent trying to meet demands on all sides, Father and Paracelsus's conversation (so much better than the "we're alike, you and I" monologues), Joe's contribution (he's definitely grown on me but I miss Edie), THE SUDDEN CHASE AND DRUG SCENE with Paracelsus and Father and the community and Cathy and the Other/Buster (hats off to Nan, genius work building on top of what canon laid the foundations for), Vincent's convo with John Pater, and Pater's baiting, and... all of it.

Temptation: Joe's episode. I enjoyed myself-- the great thing about this show is that all the episodes are solid; and this is solid enough that it bumps it up into rewatch territory. Joe always brings out the claws in Cathy, which provides great contrast to her "starting point" that being around Vincent puts her back in to. I like both; and I'm glad the series maturely shows how different people bring out different sides in other people without overly drawing attention to it. Joe's date (whose name I forgot) was fun, too; and I wonder if she's going to come back. I won't be disappointed if she doesn't, but the storytelling potential intrigues me.

Promises of Someday: This episode is now one of my favorites. Devin is me, I am Devin. He's fascinating, his dynamic as a lone wolf and a wounded family member is fascinating, Vincent's complete ease and familiarity with his brother (and he with Vincent) after all these years is fascinating, and his stiffness and repressed anger with Father is fascinating. Father realizing how harsh he had inadvertently been after Vincent put a mirror to his face (metaphorically) and showed him his faults is beautifully done. Cathy having a hunch, investigating, and finding out about Devin before confronting him is such an improvement to her usual "I'm gonna take you down!" attitude she's used in the past; and her gradual changing thoughts as Devin plays by her rules while still doing his best not to mess up her case (the dichotomy of that bit of his characterization is soooooooo fascinating) was exquisite. Her talk at the end with Vincent, Devin's letter, the backstory, a Margaret mention, learning who Grace was (now I have a backstory to her name from AWTN), the locations, the building tension, the resolution... all marvelous.

I looked up Nan's published works-- couldn't find it on various book site that ship, BUT stumbled onto it from a link to the Treasure Chambers, so that worked out! Keeping one novel primed and ready to consume between S1 and S2 and the other as an eventual fill-in.

Having a blast! The only thing (and this is my fault) I'm confused about are the locations. Trying to sort what is introduced when having read AWTN first-- saw your post with the screenshots and those helped (a lot); but figuring out if they are real or dream locations or both is still a balance. Not worried, because I know all will become clear the more I watch. ;)))

Down here...

Wasn't The Alchemist wonderful? Tony Jay did such a good job of imbuing Paracelsus with the menace and gravitas the role needed. And yes, Vincent gets stuck in the middle, caught between the rules of the tunnel community and the laws of the world Above - until he experiences Paracelsus' drug for himself and takes matters into his own hands. Please note that even then, he refuses to surrender himself into Buster's violence, merely dodging Paracelsus' attempts at killing him and then trying to drag him safely away from the fires. Stay tuned for more...

Temptation was definitely Joe's episode and allowed us to see just what he was made of. I love his and Cathy's friendly/adversarial relationship, and it strengthens throughout the series. Erica does not make a second appearance and I'm glad for it. She was not what Joe needed in a partner. How could he ever fully trust her? Besides, he's already secretly in love with Cathy. My favorite part, despite my cynical romanticism, was the exchange of gifts in the final scene. ❤️

I knew you would love Devin! How can anyone not?? Vincent and Devin's relationship as children was obviously so strong and it's easy to imagine V's devastation when D went missing. Just visually, I love those few second on the Long Stair when V comes up behind D and drapes his wrist over his shoulder. That, and the hug at the park threshold when they come face to face for the first time in 20 years. Add Father and his secret into the mix and it's a fascinating dynamic all the way around. And poor Cathy, trying so hard to do what's right and keep from breaking Vincent's heart, too. And we get Little Vincent! I can't watch this episode without thinking about V's line in Bimbo: "Fuck you, and would you like to try for the other side?" 🤣

All of Nan's published BATB works (pro & fan) are there at the Treasure Chambers. Yes, read Bright Spirit Descending after you've finished S1 and hold off on Beyond Words, Beyond Silence until you've finished S2. But I do recommend you read it before diving into S3. All her other works on the site are 4th Season with the exception of Bleak Midwinter and A Winterfest Tale. I think I may have told you before, but Legacy and The Tower and the Rose are set in the AWTN universe.

If you have any questions about location, or anything else, just let me know. I'm a font of BATB trivia. Like this one: Bruce Abbott, who plays Devin, was married to Linda Hamilton when Promises of Someday and S2's Brothers were filmed. She was pregnant with their first child when she left the show.

[andsheloved]

could i get something w/ the p+p qoute w/ sherlock? happy Tuesday!

of course you can!! i hope you enjoy this one my anonymous friend!! i was definetly hoping someone would request that one!! and i'm so glad you paired it with sherlock!! so good!! mwauh!!

pairing ~ sherlock holmes x gn!reader

word count ~ 814

warnings ~ fluff, literally just an unhinged amount of fluff, mention of obsession (but sherlock is just an overthinker)

prompt ~ quote #12: “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love… I love… I love you.” - Pride and Prejudice

He didn't think there was a moment that passed in the time that he knew you where he wasn't some degree of head over heals for you.

In a world full of so many uncertainties, he knew only one thing to be guaranteed.

You.

Whether it be his utter incompetence to form a sentence while you were near, or the way he melted against your touch, or even how he prayed to dream of you at night as to not be absent of your presence for too long, it was always you.

Sherlock was never one to believe those naive fairy tales about love and princesses and frogs that were told to him during his younger years, but things were different now, he was different now.

You sat across from him in the parlor, mindlessly flipping through the pages of a novel he knew you had read countless times before, though you still grabbed it from the bookshelf with the same amount of enthusiasm each time.

It was new, these feelings he had for you, no, not the feelings, the strength of them.

It was illogical, it shouldn't have made sense how much he felt for you, if he observed feelings of this nature in anyone else, he may have called them obsessed, infatuated, these were the feelings that motivated crimes of passion. He should have been scolding himself for allowing his intelligent thoughts be clouded by such absurdity.

But how could he?

It felt as if he had been denied of living for so long, only existing to leap from mystery to mystery, devoid of a purpose other than to serve others. Though with you, with his heart beating just the slightest bit faster, with his mouth stammering to find words in your presence, with his hands itching, begging to touch you, he felt alive.

Even more so, he felt happy.

It was simple really, nothing particularly significant, but you asked him if he would like more tea.

He didn't think he'd ever feel his heart swell to the size that it was at now.

He also wasn't sure if he would ever gather the sudden courage he had now to say the words he had been contemplating for as long as he could remember.

"Could we speak about- something?" He sputtered, he hated how unprepared he sounded, but from the looks of your shocked gaze, you appeared to be just as unaware.

You closed your book gently with a smile, it was an anxious sort of smile, one that didn't fully reach to the corners of your lips. "Of course"

"I've been meaning to tell you for quite some time..." He took a deep breath, hesitantly looking back at you, you seemed so panicked, your hands fidgeting in your lap. He absolutely despised that he was the cause of this, and he knew that if he stopped now, your restlessness would persist for the rest of the evening, and he despised that thought even more.

"In all of our years of being friends-" No. "Companions" He corrected, hating the sound of the word in reference to you, he wanted to be so much more. "I feel we've grown comfortable enough to share our feelings with one another."

You nodded hesitantly in response.

"So it must be said..." He sighed, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. His next words felt heavy in his mouth, though he couldn't help how they tumbled clumsily from his lips, it had been too long, far too long, with the thought of his confession lingering within the confines of his mind. He smiled softly before speaking, "You have bewitched me-" He paused, checking your expression, you still held that gently grin on your features, so he continued. "Body and soul, and I love.. I love..." He stammered, looking at you again for some sort of reassurance, almost having to stifle the gasp that threatened to spill from him. You looked ethereal, a sliver of sunlight cascading over the lines of your face, a shimmer of something that he could only explain as magic glinting in your eyes, and he was suddenly sure he had never said anything more true in his life. "I love you."

You didn't say anything at first, and the silence alone was enough to stir something viciously disquieting in his mind, but then you stood, slowly rounding the coffee table before sitting directly beside him.

You slowly grabbed his hand, before shyly leaning your head on his shoulder.

Even if you never spoke a word for the rest of the night, something in your actions told him that you may have just felt the same.

A man could only dream, he supposed, but he knew, when he finally tore himself from your side tonight and begrudgingly laid his head on the pillow of his far too empty bed, he knew he'd dream of you.

:') oh my, sherlock + pride and prejudice is a pairing i didn't know i needed until now and i am absolutely y e a r n i n g, thank you so much for sending this in my friend!! i hope you are doing so well!! mwauh!!

as always, likes, comments, and reblogs are very much appreicated!!

want more sherlock? check out my masterlist!

join in on drabble tuesdays!

[nanaminokanojo]

BLOOM | Sukuna X You | Part 1/3

CHARACTERS: Sukuna X You | Gojo Satoru | Geto Suguru | Shoko Ieiri | Maki | Fushiguro Toji | Baby Megumi | Megumi's Mom (OC) CHAPTER COUNT: 1/3 WORD COUNT: 8900+ GENRE: romance | fluff | slight angst | (eventual) smut | ooc sukuna | female reader CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING: profanity/strong language | alcohol use | cigarette smoking | age gap | unhealthy simping XD SPOILERS: N/A

collection masterlist

one two three | Bloom Masterlist

His hair was the color of cherry blossoms, that's the first thing you noticed. It was the softest shade of pink, easy on the eyes, reminding you of the tendrils of filtered rays of the sun lightly touching the edges of clouds very early in the morning. Or your favorite angora wool sweater.

The man stole your attention from the book you were reading when you chanced a look from your periphery just to check who sat on the stool beside your usual spot on the bar – the seat at the very end by the wall. Your planned glance turned into a furtive stare at the sight of him from his candy-floss-hued hair, the rippling muscles hidden under his white oxford shirt and the array of tattoos that peeked through his neatly folded sleeves. And boy, since when did men smell like vanilla and spring while also exuding such a virile scent?

A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth at the thought, internally shaking your head at your behavior. You should not be staring at people, and though you weren't exactly ogling him, you were still observing him enough to associate him with your favorite article of winter clothing.

"Hey. The usual for you?" you heard Maki, the bar owner, ask, giving you the idea that the man was a regular. How you haven't spotted him before was a mystery.

If it was already hard concentrating on the novel you were reading, you've completely forgotten about it when you heard him say, "Make that single-malt." It's either the gates of hell opened at the sudden heat you felt on your skin at the sound of his voice or the gates of heaven did with how delicious it sounded in your ear, thick like honey and deep with a distinct ring to it. It got you wondering what his mother craved for when she was pregnant with him, and your brain said, "Greek gods," when you lifted your eyes from the current page you were reading and briefly exchanged looks with him as he shifted his line of vision from Maki to you.

You turned your eyes back to your book, making it seem like you were just absently looking about, but in reality, it took herculean effort to wrench your gaze from him. In that brief meeting of your eyes, the features of his face registered in your head like a bar code scanner, etching itself in your mind like a white-hot brand. He wasn't shockingly handsome, but he was beautiful in his own right with those intense eyes that reminded you of drowning pools and the rugged yet refined planes of his face. It was as if an artist painted him in passionate anger, slowly fell in love with the piece and began redefining his features with gentler strokes.

You turned the page of your book despite not getting any reading done. Well, it has been the case for a considerable amount of minutes now, but you tried anyway, furiously staring down at the new page but not comprehending anything. Your eyes kept scanning the same sentence over and over again but it was not sinking in at all.

"Excuse me, miss," that deep voice you've already developed a strange affection for assaulted your senses again, making your head snap up to the direction it was coming from. Hell, you think you'll do its owner's bidding just hearing it at the rate you were going, reacting automatically as if you were programmed with a voice prompt or something.

You were about to look at him but Maki caught your attention as she pushed the smoothie you ordered towards you, placing it precisely in front of you on the hardwood surface with her fingers. She arched a brow at you, causing you to stiffen on your seat.

You've been coming to the quiet little bar since you grew old enough to drink. In fact, you considered it your regular watering hole, going there whenever you can even in the day as it doubled as a gastro-pub. You've already come to know the staff who reserved the spot for you every single time you told them you were coming, particularly the tough but very lovable Maki. She's basically a friend now, and you knew you were acting off if she was giving you odd looks.

"Thanks, Maki," you said just in time, even managing to smile. She just shook her head at you before walking away to tend to another client.

"I have to know what book you are reading," the person beside you said just as you began sipping on your drink, which, you've noted, was a cherry blossom tea smoothie that reminded you of him.

You let go of the straw between your lips, swallowing hard. Turning your attention to him, you found him sitting sideways, chin propped on the heel of his palm as he regarded you. "Huh?" was all you could manage to say to him.

A slow, crooked smile etched itself across his mouth, the action appearing sensuous with the gradual way his expressions changed. "That book," he said for your benefit. "May I know what it is about?"

You just blinked, still questioning yourself if he was addressing you.

"If you're that engrossed about it, it must be great," he said. "Mind telling me the title?"

"Book?" you asked dumbly. He was really frying your brain.

He pointed at the book you were holding with his lips, protruding them slightly before smiling again. Jesus, you loved the way he smiled. The gesture didn't belong there when you've already thought he was the smirking, grinning-devil type. It was too soft a gesture, but then again his hair was shell-pink – a contradiction to his stridently brawny features.

"Oh." Despite yourself, you found yourself chuckling. "I'm sorry, I was distracted."

"Not by the book, I hope."

You looked away, smiling to yourself as you closed the object in question and slid it over to him. When you looked at him, you were surprised to see him actually reading the synopsis at the back, interest flickering in his dark eyes. You were already expecting him to just read the title, probably the author, too, thinking he was just flirting with you judging by his last words. But he was actually reading it.

"It's about an architect," he stated. "He must be mind-blowingly awesome if you're too transfixed on his story."

"No, Howard Roark is mostly a recalcitrant bastard who breaks rules here and there, doesn't cooperate or collaborate and is stone-faced about most anything."

"But it's what you like about him," he supplied.

You nodded. "He’s a breath of fresh air in a world governed by stuffy archaic principles. The spring to a long, stagnant winter of conformity. I'm in love with him." Noticing the look of amusement on his face, you were quick to add, "What?"

"Nothing." His smile didn't waver though. "Are you an architect, too?"

"Too?" you repeated with inflection then tilted your head. "Ah, you're an architect, huh?"

"Guilty."

"Any projects of note?" you asked, tilting your head in wonder when he seemed flustered. "What is it?"

He shook his head slowly. "You're very straightforward."

At that, you grinned. "Should I take you out to dinner before I get that information?" You sipped leisurely at your smoothie, glad that you throw him off as much as he flusters you.

"You don't have to," he found himself answering anyway. "But I work for a firm, so they get most of the credit. We built that new hotel at Shinjuku."

"Eh? Didn't pin you for a baroque kind of guy."

"You know..." He was all ears now judging by how he leaned closer to you. He leveled his expression to yours then. "So, what kind of guy did you think I am?"

There it is, you thought, the smirk you've been waiting for. Without giving it much thought, you said, "The Howard Roark type, of course."

***

"You seriously don't remember, do you?"

It wasn't that you didn't. You simply had no idea how you got home, considering how you ended up all smashed after enjoying too many margaritas after your smoothie. You seriously just didn't know certain things. You didn't know what happened after you reached your limit. And out of all the things you know you should not have missed, you didn't know his name.

You were sitting on the kitchen counter, nursing a headache, trying to fill in every bit of information your friends were trying to leech out of you in your addled state. You've been expecting it - the great inquisition - especially after you returned in a state lesser than they've been expecting, unconscious, according to the collective stories of your roommates, when you told them you were just stepping out to get some reading done. And on a school night, no less. Very atypical of you indeed.

"What should I be remembering?" you responded to Ieiri. You weren't exactly fond of her worrisome nature although you knew she was just watching your back especially since she has been rather disapproving of your escapades with these guys you somewhat dated back then. You appreciated it, but it didn't mean you liked it.

"Oh, I don't know, Y/N. Strawberry blond? Tats? Drives a Jeep? Ring any bells?" she said, jogging your memory. "He came knocking at two in the morning, carrying you in his arms. I mean he was hot according to Satoru, but do you even know the guy?"

“Cherry blossom,” you absently corrected the color Ieiri mentioned.

“Huh?”

“Him, I remember.” You smiled at the thought, not hiding your delight from them. You were sure they were just annoyed that they weren't in on the action since Satoru, your other friend and roommate, who seem nonexistent recently, was the one who interacted with the man you met and supposedly brought you back to the house you rented with all of them. And Satoru doesn't know basic decorum to actually ask what the man’s name was. "Howard."

"Howard?" Suguru, another one of your friends who was in the literature department as you were, asked. "Howard Roark?" He knew the reference, obviously. You forced him to read the book before it even became one of your study materials.

You nodded enthusiastically. "He's an architect."

"He didn't look like a 'Howard,' apparently," Ieiri said.

"That name is from her favorite book," Suguru supplied, his dark eyes shifting to you as he tucked some stray strands of his long, raven locks which were currently tied in a half-up. "So your guy's an architect, too."

"That, but he isn't 'my guy' and I don't know what his name is."

He grinned then. "If you're openly calling him by the name of the character you claim to be in love with, I'm assuming..."

"No!" Ieiri gasped.

You laughed despite the action making your head hurt. You were still hungover after all, but you didn't mind, not when you knew you had a good night. Probably a great night to allow yourself to be hammered like you have been. You only ever drank to your fill when the company is great and when you were in a jovial mood.

"It's nothing like that. He just feels like spring time. Looks like it, too." You waved your hands in front of you for emphasis. Still, your expressions said otherwise.

You weren't in love with the man because you didn't believe in mushy things like love at first sight, but you knew you liked him, just that you weren't getting your hopes up cause there's a chance you might not see him ever again, assuming your meeting was something transient like the blossoms his hair made you think of. Even if he was a regular at Maki's, if your schedules didn't coincide with one another, it would not be easy to meet. You've been coming to the same bar for years and yet, you've only ever seen him that time. You never really know.

But then, you got your answer pretty quickly.

From: Satoru

See you at 7 tomorrow night. Same place.

That’s how Satoru's message read, sent late the previous night. You almost forgot about the agreement you’ve had with him to get unlimited barbecue after sleeping the rest of the day but you made it out just in time. It was something you did with all three of your friends as a way to bond with them individually.

You glanced at the clock on your phone, feeling the stares of the restaurant staff on you. Well, you’ve been there for more than an hour waiting for him. One hour and thirteen minutes to be precise. All you’ve ordered so far was a glass of lemonade and you were able to finish that in the first half hour, sitting on a table for two when evidently, you were alone. All your texts were ignored and your calls were always being redirected to voicemail.

“Where the fuck are you, Gojo Satoru?” you asked him in one of your messages, hissing low into your phone just so the other diners would not be offended by your words. You got a message another twenty minutes later, the sound of your phone almost making you jump from your seat. However, when you looked at it, it was from an unknown number.

You were about to check the message when one of the waitresses came to your table, pad and pen on the ready. She’s always the one who served you whenever you and your friends would go there for a dose of beef and pork fat, and she has always been nice to you.

“Not to be nosy but I think your friend isn’t coming.”

You nodded, grimacing. “Tell me about it.”

“The boss has been giving you the stink eye, too.”

Looking over the counter, you saw the elderly man really looking at you. He looked away when you met his eyes, muttering to himself. You knew how the owner could get, but you simply loved going there since their food is good and the service is just the same. You smiled ruefully at the woman before you. “I’ll have a sukiyaki set and warm sake, please. Thank you.”

“Would that be all?”

“Yeah.”

“Coming right up.” She flashed you a bright smile before disappearing into the back rooms.

You almost forgot the message you saw earlier, but then, your phone lit up again with that familiar tone. The new message was from the same number.

From: Unknown

How are you?

From: Unknown

I hope you’re okay.

You frowned, not having the slightest clue as to who could be texting you.

From: You

Who is this?

Your order came but there was no response from the mystery texter or Satoru. You felt pathetic looking at your phone every once in a while as you ate and drank. Normally, you wouldn’t even have given anybody, including your best friends, the time of the day, making you wait for longer than an hour without as much as a message. You don’t ever wait for people over the agreed meeting time. You hated it with passion. And you were already thinking of ways to make Satoru pay.

You were about to eat a mouthful of beef when you heard the chair across you being dragged back. Your eyes flicked to the direction, and to your utter shock, you almost dropped your chopsticks if it weren’t for the hand that reached out and held onto your hand, securing the utensils.

Once again, you were sitting on your usual spot at the bar, eyes clashing with those intense ones owned by the pink-haired guy who apparently drove a charcoal grey Jeep and reminded you of spring, the same one who drove you home the other night.

“Careful,” he said, his scent assaulting your senses.

A lump formed in your throat, making you unable to form proper words, so you settled for putting down the chopsticks. You folded your hands together on your lap, recovering from your consternation before you finally looked at him, unable to help it but grin. He looked different that day, more laid back in a white baseball cap mussing his candy-floss hair down, a loose-fitting shirt in the same hue and jeans. He looked so fresh, you felt the air around you cool down considerably.

“How did you…” you hesitated and shook you head. “Hello.”

He broke into that crooked smile. “Crazy how the moment you sent the message, I saw you through the glass walls while I drove past.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again, not quite knowing how to react to it when suddenly, the first part of his statement registered in your mind. “Wait, message?” You picked up your phone, showing him the messages. “This is you?”

He nodded slowly. “Looks like you’re doing great.” He regarded the bottle of sake on the table. “I had to get your number to check up on you. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Y-yeah, I mean, no, not at all. Thank you by the way.” You chuckled, saving his number and naming him Spring God in your contacts. “I wasn’t really expecting you to bring me home.”

“I got your address from your driving license.” He grinned then. “I thought of taking you back to my place, but I didn’t know how that would sit with you.”

Who says chivalry was dead? “I’m sorry for acting crazy, if I did anyway." You chuckled. "I don't remember…and for having to bring me all the way to the house.”

“It’s fine. It was lovely meeting Satoru.”

At that, your face flushed red. You winced. “I’m sorry for whatever he did while I was out of it.” He could be crazy at times, and you wouldn't be surprised if he did something untoward.

He shook his head, letting out a slight chuckle. “He was very nice to me, don’t worry.” He furrowed his brows then. “I also got your name. Y/N. I don’t know if you forgot to tell me or you just didn’t trust me enough, but I’d like to think it’s the former since you didn’t seem to think twice about getting wasted with me like you did.”

You deliberately didn’t tell him your name, but he was making it sound a little nicer. It wasn’t really something you planned on doing again, meeting him, but somehow, he found you. You shook you head, coming clean. “If you put it that way, okay, but really, I thought it was better if you didn’t know.”

“Hmm. Why is that?”

You found it endearing that he tilted his head a bit to the side when he asked the question. Your lips curled upwards at the corner. “I just never thought I’d meet you again.”

“That would be unfortunate.”

You laughed awkwardly at his remark. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way.”

“I’m not offended.”

“Okay.”

You requested for another order of barbecue for him. He declined but you insisted. “Come on. My treat for your act of kindness.” You snickered. “Besides, my supposed date bailed.”

“Date?”

Sighing, you said, “Well, not really. Satoru. We agreed to meet here over an hour ago but he hasn’t been answering my messages or calls. Something probably came up.”

He eyed you thoughtfully. “If you don't mind me asking, is he your...?"

"My what?"

"Your boyfriend…maybe."

You chuckled at the thought, but then you realized you didn't even know his name. "I don't really tell strangers about things like that," you teased.

“Okay, but I thought we’re past being strangers.” He smirked then and you swore you felt your stomach flip.

“We’re in the getting-to-know-each-other phase,” you told him with a laugh, acceding. "Since I didn't tell you my name, I didn't expect you to tell me yours. Plus I didn't ask, so may I have yours?"

"Sukuna," he said. "Ryomen Sukuna."

"Su-ku-na," you repeated, liking the feel of the syllables as they rolled out of your tongue. Finally, the person you've gotten so fond of in just a short time had a name. You didn't know what his name meant but it seemed to match him well regardless of how arbitrary it was to his person. You couldn't think of any better name though. "I like your name. It's pretty." You smiled brightly at him then. "And no, Satoru is not my boyfriend."

Ryomen Sukuna was an absolute puzzle to you. How he could look so badass and pretty much intimidating with his strapping physique and inked skin – throw in the multiple piercings on his left ear which you were noticing or the first time – while also pulling off all these adorable little actuations was a quandary to you. Tall, solidly built men like him should not be reminding you of soft, cute things, but the moment he blinked in confusion, you knew you couldn't get enough of it.

"Nobody ever said that about my name, but thanks," he returned in that deep voice after a moment's pause. And was that a dusting of roses over his cheeks? The surprises you were getting from this man was endless. He really was such a breath of fresh air, so far from the usual stereotypes.

Your face seemed to be perpetually pulled into a smile whenever you were around him, and you didn't think you were doing a good job suppressing the urge to be beaming like an idiot around him. "So, anyway, what made you think that blue-eyed idiot is my boyfriend?" you asked, changing the topic.

"Well, he was a bit hostile at first when he took you from me, making me explain things but then started apologizing after. He told me you could be a handful when inebriated..." He let his voice trail off as if letting you chew on his words.

"You agree with him." It wasn't a question.

"Yes." Sukuna pretended to frown. "He also calls you 'his princess'."

You threw your head back, covering your eyes momentarily in embarrassment. "Now I wish you met Ieiri and Suguru instead," proceeding to explain that the nickname was something akin to what a father would call his precious daughter.

"He was rather intimidating, but I guess he's just looking out for you."

"He's still not off the hook for standing me up," you quipped, "But you finding him intimidating is funny."

"Why?"

You scoffed, gesturing over to him. "I think you can snap him in two if you wished, too."

"He was scary," Sukuna insisted.

"He's harmless...most of the time, but yeah, he’s rather protective. That’s one of my dads for you."

He laughed then. "There's nothing scarier than a fiercely protective friend…or a doting father. I can't muscle my way out of that for sure."

"Ah, then you'll find Ieiri scarier."

The night pretty much went well and ended on a good note. Sukuna did most of the talking for the rest of the night. You learned he was six years older than you at twenty nine, one of the head architects at the firm he worked for, has a love-hate relationship with his job cause he wants to draw portraits instead, was a delinquent when he was younger but got away with things cause he was a straight-A student, loved dogs so much that he cries when they die in movies, was closer to his mom, got his tattoos on a sudden whim, and was pretty much a sweet, charming genuine person which contrasted his appearance. What you see isn't what you get. That just isn't how it worked with him.

You loved it when he talked. It was rather entertaining as he had a way of telling stories which made you feel like you were actually there when it happened. Eventually, you forgot the reason why you were at the restaurant in the first place. It was as if you went there for the purpose of meeting Sukuna himself. Satoru was all but forgotten as you dissolved into carefree laughter and playful banters, and you felt at ease and more like yourself around him, pretty much like when you were with your three favorite people in the world.

“It’s not really that funny,” Sukuna told you, watching you laugh heartily at that one episode in his freshmen year when he made a mistake of going on a date with the wrong girl who happened to have the same name as his supposed date. You continued to laugh as if he didn’t say anything.

“It’s just crazy that both of them were there at the same time. I mean, what were the odds?”

He parked by the sidewalk in front of your house, killing the engine. “That’s the reason why I have never agreed to a single blind date ever again.” He pulled the key out of the ignition, glancing at the direction of your house. “We’re here.”

Your laughter died down when you followed the direction of his gaze. The lights were off except for the one lighting up the porch of the house you shared with your friends. You returned your gaze to him then. “Thanks for driving me home. Again.”

“I enjoyed your company. It’s the least I can do.”

You smiled warmly at him, reaching over to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek when he suddenly turned his head a fraction towards you. That minute change made your lips end up against his instead. He was surprised at first and remained immobile against you, but when you pulled away, he chased you back, connecting your mouths, his lips feeling soft and warm yet emitting that air of dominance as it coaxed yours to move in sync with his. You were kissing him back in no time, but you immediately caught yourself and withdrew, utterly flustered.

Your heart thudded heavily as he held you in his intense gaze, his tongue slowly running over his lower lip, making you even more mentally incapacitated. It made you want to just pull him back to you and covet those lips with yours again. You snapped out of it though. You already knew he was capable of hot-wiring and hijacking your brain.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you told him when you were able to form words again.

Sukuna looked at you from under his lashes, smiling slightly. “I’m not.”

Taken aback, you chuckled nervously. “No?”

He shook his head, reached over and ruffled your hair a bit. “Go inside. It’s late.” You nodded and disembarked from the car while he leaned on the steering wheel, watching you. You were already on the pavement, about to close the door, when he spoke again. “Can I come see you again?”

“Sure,” you said without thinking. “Good night, Sukuna.” Man, you just loved saying his name.

“Bye, Y/N. Good night.”

He drove away while you made your way towards your doorstep. Your fingers flew to your lips once you were standing on your porch, smiling to yourself at the realization of having kissed him. Shaking your head, you fished for the keys from your pocket and entered the house, not quite remembering how you got to your room, but you slept that night with pleasant dreams of running your fingers through pink locks of hair.

***

"I'm really sorry. Something came up and my phone died."

You acceded. It wasn’t as if Satoru did something so big. You went to the outdoor kiosks near the parking lot by the football grounds to catch up on some reading while Satoru ate and told you bits of his past few days, since he got held up at their family estate. Having such a traditional, high-ranking family in the country sure had its downsides, and you weren't about to make him even more agitated than he already was. He had it difficult, you knew that, and you weren’t about to be petty over him not coming to your supposed bonding time. He may be happy-go-lucky but you felt tension simmering just under the surface when you squeezed his hand in assurance.

Suguru and Ieiri followed shortly after Satoru fetched you from class, also surprised to see him there. "So, you finally decided to show up," the former said.

"Don't ask," Satoru said.

"Wasn't planning to," Suguru scoffed, his attention shifting to you. “What are you working on anyway?” he asked, flipping the file you were reading haphazardly to peer through the contents.

“I’m making an analysis report on ‘The Romantic Manifesto’.” you answered, looking up from the notes you were writing when your eyes suddenly strayed over his shoulder. You almost did a double-take, glancing at Suguru before returning your line of vision at the spot beyond where he sat.

“It’s due…” your voice trailed off when you realized just what, or rather who, you were looking at. You weren’t so sure whether what you were seeing was real or a mirage, a very familiar, specific and detailed one, but then, you figured it was the former when the person smirked and cocked his head to the side, beckoning you over to where he leaned against his grey Jeep as he raised a cup of what looked like cherry blossom tea.

Suguru arched a brow at you, looking behind him but not really noticing the object of your distraction. “Hey, you okay?”

Ieiri followed the direction of your gaze and nudged you when she saw who you were looking at. "Is that your Howard? Damn, girl. He’s sizzling."

You nodded, but at that same moment, you rose from the table without any explanation, your feet immediately leading you towards the outdoor carpark. When you were within earshot, you said, “What are you doing here?”

You stopped a few feet from him, glancing behind you to where the others had already turned their heads to follow the path you took, flashing you shit-eating grins. It wouldn’t surprise you anymore if they had pieced together who the person was before you. They claimed to be your ‘parents’ but acted like children at times.

“I brought you tea.” Sukuna walked towards you, standing so close that you forgot how to breathe for a few seconds as you inhaled his scent and took in his appearance, looking immaculate in a plain white shirt and faded jeans, but your brain only seemed to register those lips and the memory of how they felt against yours.

You shook your head, snapping out of your trance, mentally cursing at yourself. “Hi.” You exhaled loudly, trying hard not to smile like an idiot while you absently twirled your hair on your finger, suddenly seeing the world through a pinkish filter. "How do you keep finding me?"

Sukuna's smile dropped. “Did I come at an inconvenient time?” he asked gently, trying hard not to sound miffed, but he obviously was taken aback by your words.

“No.” You shook your head, placing a hand over your forehead. You finally smiled at him, letting out a choked snicker. “No, Sukuna. It’s good to see you. It’s just that I wasn’t expecting to see you here. And you didn't really tell me you were coming.”

He grinned at you then but he still appeared unsure, placing a hand behind his neck. “Right.”

You flashed him a helpless look. “Please don’t look at me like that. I’m just really surprised.”

“Hmm." He moved closer to you, wrapping your hand around the transparent disposable cup. His proximity was affecting you in ways you couldn't admit out loud. "Are you happy to see me, too?"

"Too? So, you're happy to see me?"

"Always."

That's it. You're done for. Trying to avoid his intense gaze and escaping his scrutiny, you glanced over your shoulder to find everyone on your table observing you blatantly. Satoru raised a thumb at you while Ieiri was giggling with Suguru.

"Are those your friends?" Sukuna commented, his minty breath fanning against the side of your face which made you turn a little too quickly to face him again only to be confronted by his face leaning towards yours, mere centimeters away.

“Y-yeah.” You leaned a bit backwards but he moved forward. “That they are.” You stepped backwards again, nearly faltering on your feet, but you immediately gained your balance when he grabbed you by the arm, steadying you.

"Are you alright?" Sukuna asked, looking at you with concern written all over his face which morphed into wonder when you said, "Yeah, you're just overwhelming."

"Huh?"

"I can't think properly when I'm around you," you stated casually, your expressions not giving anything away as per usual. You arched a brow at him when he did the same. "You hot-wire my brain."

"I know what you mean." He smirked despite his confusion. "Is that good or bad?"

You eyed him thoughtfully, biting on your lower lip. "Good for you, bad for me. You can probably tell me to eat dirt and I'd do it in a heartbeat."

He chuckled, looking at you tenderly. "You're too honest."

"To a fault," you agreed, "Suguru tells me all the time. Wanna meet them?"

He ruffled your hair. "Sure."

***

While you weren't exactly expecting to see Sukuna again after the night you met, he became of constant presence around you. You have gone out with him several times over the course of two months. He was a busy person and you also had your priorities, but he always makes you feel special whenever you two would be out and about, behaving like such a gentleman opening and closing doors for you, naturally shifting closer to traffic while you walked, bringing an extra jacket in case you felt cold or a larger umbrella so you don't get wet, bringing you your favorite tea whenever he could.

He picked you up from school for lunch twice, making the most of the hour, and one time, you brought him lunch at work when he suddenly canceled on you, saying he was swamped with work. He sounded really upset so you decided to go to him instead. You brought Suguru with you as a buffer, but Sukuna's colleagues still teased him. He was different in the office – gruff and strict which fitted him more – but he still beamed at you happily when you brought him food, not caring who saw.

Apart from the brief phone calls, you two never really texted. It wasn't really your thing and he didn't like it either, so it could go days on end without you saying anything to each other, but when you do get a chance to speak, it would always be like picking up on where you've left off. He has only ever sent you two messages. One to remind you to take good care of yourself because he was going to be away for a while and another one a week later asking if you wanted to go out with him that coming Friday night.

"Your timing's off," you told him over the phone. You really wanted to say yes, but, "Ieiri, the boys and I are going out that night. Gang tradition."

"Some other time then?"

"Sure."

You hung up after a few more exchanges of words, getting started on reading some notes when Ieiri entered the kitchen. "Was that Howard?"

"Yeah. He's inviting me to go out on Friday, but I already said yes to clubbing with you guys."

She grinned cheekily, wrapping an arm around you as she poked you on the cheek. At times, it feels like Satoru was rubbing off on her. "Are you sure you don't want to ditch us for the hot architect?"

"Hot architect –" You snickered. "Did you just say that?"

"I was supposed to say 'sugar daddy,' literally and figuratively. Sugar and his cotton candy hair. Get it?"

You narrowed your eyes at her, shaking your head. It was supposed to be amusing, but when Ieiri says it, it just sounds weird. "Can I read in peace now?"

She left you alone, but laughed at your expense.

Friday couldn't have rolled around fast enough and you headed out with your friends at the club owned by a friend of yours, prepared to party in a pair of tight-fitting jeans, a crop top and your hair hanging about in wavy layers. You were already expecting the place to be cramped as hell given the day of the week so much so that Suguru had to hold onto you tightly so as not to lose you when you entered until you found the area you had reserved for the night. It was for good measure too since the place was drenched in purple, blue and green laser lights which were disorienting at first. And so, your night began as such.

You were in the middle of dancing, only pausing when you had to down your nth shot for the night when your eyes suddenly strayed to the bar area at the elevated part of the club adjacent to the the leather seats. You looked away but returned your gaze towards said direction when you realized this very familiar guy was looking at you. He was watching you as you danced and let loose, a ghost of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

You craned your neck, looking back and thinking the guy looked a lot like Sukuna, but then he couldn’t be. He was engaged elsewhere, still you continued to ogle him until you were pretty sure it wasn’t the same person. But the longer you looked, the more it was being proven to you that it was him.

That lopsided smile drew itself across his lips, seeing as how you were doubting yourself about his identity. There was no mistaking that look on his face, the way his dark eyes seemed to sparkle whenever he smiled even if the action didn't belong there.

“Sukuna?” you mouthed his name and he nodded, motioning for you to come over with his head. It had been a solid ten days since you last saw him, and for some reason, your heart raced at the thought of seeing him there.

Without saying a word to the people you were with, you squeezed yourself through the crowd, your feet carrying to the upstairs bar, to Sukuna. It took you a while to traverse the space between you, and when you finally stood before him, all you could do was smile up at him, taking in the soft look about him as he regarded you which were at odds to those fiery eyes that had the capability to turn into bright orbs of light when he beamed down at you.

“Hello, Y/N. Once again, fate has brought you to me,” he said rather dramatically, a smirk drawing itself across his pretty mouth.

Laughter escaped your throat, unable to say anything when you realized that you actually missed him, missed looking at him. Unable to help it, you stood on your toes and reached out to touch his hair, the action surprising the both of you. He eyed you, his expressions that of a half-smile and a look of confusion while you retracted your hands as quickly as you felt his soft locks with your fingertips, wincing at the realization of what you were doing.

At that, he laughed heartily, stealing your hand and pressing it over the side of his head. “Go ahead. I don’t mind you touching me,” he told you, staring into your eyes that you felt like all the air in the room was gone.

You blinked at him, processing what he said and joined in his mirth. “You're here!” You shook your head when it dawned to you that you were stating the obvious. “I’m sorry. How are you, Sukuna?”

“Pink?” he offered and chuckled at his own joke which made your face heat up. “Kidding. I’m great. I missed you these past days. How are you?”

“You did?” You felt your insides melting at his statement, made worse when he nodded to confirm it. “I’m fine. Great. Where have you disappeared to anyway?”

He snickered a your question. “Madrid.”

Your jaw dropped. “As in Spain?”

He nodded. “Had to do something there.”

“Uh-huh.” His words were rather obscure, but you didn’t want to encroach on his private life.

“What are the odds that we’re at the same club?”

“The owner is a friend,” you answered, smiling awkwardly as you glanced at the direction of your friends on the dance floor. You saw all of them looking at you. Suguru winked at you, giving you the thumbs up, making you laugh at his silliness.

“The gang’s all here, I see.”

“What?” You faced Sukuna, finding him leaning close beside you against the metal balustrade. Just then, a waiter passed by holding a whole tray of shots, and before you could duck, he grabbed you by the waist so that you were leaning against him with no quantifiable space between your bodies. Your eyes widened in shock and you froze, your thoughts clouded by the familiar smell of rain in a bamboo forest during Maytime. “T-thanks…”

He hummed in response to your gratitude, but he didn’t let you go. “I didn’t know you enjoyed places like this, too.”

“Why is that?” you asked, feigning ignorance to how close you two were.

"I never pinned you for the party animal type. I kinda developed a fondness for that quiet, nerdy girl sitting at the corner of the pub."

"Not exactly. I prefer Maki's place to be honest but coming here once in a while doesn't hurt. Especially with those three." You frowned slightly at him then as you thought of something. “So, why didn’t you approach me?” You motioned towards the dancefloor. “I'm sure the three-headed monster won't mind if you joined us. You alone?”

“Yes, sweetheart, but aren't you supposed to be hanging out with them?" You grabbed his arm before he could refuse you and started leading him towards where the others were.

However, he had other plans in mind. Again, he hooked an arm around your waist until your back was leaning against him. You eyed him sideways, startled by his actions, but unable to counteract it anyway as you’re just stunned speechless all the while. “You can go back to them, Y/N, but I don’t think I should go with you.”

You turned around, gently easing away from his hold. “Why not? They already know you, and they like you.”

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a party pooper.” He leaned towards you, tilting his head to the side while his lower lip slightly jutted out.

"What are you talking about?” You rolled your eyes at him then snickered.

He eyed you seriously then. “Just in case this is a friends-only affair?”

“Satoru already ruined that by bringing his girls into the mix.” You laughed at him when you saw him hesitate. “Come on, Sukuna. Join us. For me?” You showed him your best impression of puppy-dog eyes. “Pretty please?”

When you saw that he wasn’t budging, you changed your argument. “Fine. Dance with me then.” You didn’t give him any time to contradict you as you took him by the hand and dragged him to the dancefloor.

He was just standing still, looking uncomfortable as you started to groove to the beat, so you took his arms and started moving them until he was moving on his own, finally breaking into that smile. He looked too awkward that you wanted to laugh but decided against it, simply raising your hands and feeling the music.

“Aren’t you having fun?” you asked him as you were bobbing your head to the bass.

“I am!” he answered above the music.

“You don’t look like you’re having fun. Are you shy?” You chuckled openly at that.

“No.”

“You don’t dance?”

“I can dance.”

You giggled. “Then show me what you’ve got!”

Without a warning, he started moving in sync with you, taking your hands in his and finally letting loose in such a graceful manner as you both got into the beat and started waving and swaying against one another, his hands slowly running at your sides in sensual rhythms that got you reeling in excitement. You almost forgot that you were with other people as you danced with him. It was fun and it felt good to be that carefree, not minding your friends, drinks flowing in nonstop.

Soon, the group you’ve left joined you and Sukuna. They all greeted him excitedly while the boys exchanged high-fives with him as they were dancing. Satoru and the two girls who were with him also joined in and somewhere along that, Suguru offered everyone cigarettes, and you gladly took one when you saw Sukuna taking one as well. You didn’t really smoke on a regular basis but you didn’t exactly shy away from the so-called cancer sticks.

After taking another shot, you pulled Sukuna out of the dancefloor, hollering at the others as you raised your cigarette, signaling where you were going in case they wanted to come with. You made your way to the smoking area at the veranda situated at the back of the building with the older male in tow. You were pretty much buzzed, calming down from the high you had while dancing, grinning wide as the cool night air met you, making your lungs expand as you breathed in.

Sukuna watched you as he took his place against the banister, following him shortly as you produced a lighter from your pocket, something that you always carried just in case.

“You smoke?” he asked, toying with his own battered stick, twirling it around his long fingers.

“Sometimes,” you admitted, watching his reaction. “And you?”

“Not really.”

“You took one anyway.” You wedged the item in question between your lips and raised the lighter, but before you could light it, it was pulled out from your mouth and the next thing you knew, Sukuna was kissing you, his lips pressed against yours as he pulled you closer by the hips which he seemed to have a fixation for since you came up to him. It was a soft yet urgent kiss that cajoled you to respond, and not long after, your lips were submissive clouds moving to the will of the wind that was his luscious mouth.

Like the first time you felt his lips against yours, electricity ran through your body as if he was touching you elsewhere apart from your mouth. It was driving you off the edge of sanity, and you knew you’d probably jump off a cliff for the male. He grinned at your dazed state when your eyes met after he finally pulled away, showing you the cigarette that was supposed to be between your lips before he unceremoniously laid claim to them.

“You’re going to ruin your lips by smoking. I’m keeping this,” he told you.

You were too mesmerized with the tingling feeling in your mouth while your eyes stayed glued to his as you blinked slowly, your mind and heart racing at a thousand miles per second. “W-why would you do that?” you stammered, feeling your throat go so dry that you had to drag the words out.

“Apart from the fact that it’s terribly unhealthy, it ruins your sense of smell and taste.” He waved the cigarette in front of you before shoving it into the pocket of his jeans. “Scientific fact.”

You couldn’t quite process what he was saying. You were asking why he kissed you, but he misunderstood. “Are you going to taser me with your lips every single time I’m about to smoke?”

“Taser…” He chuckled and narrowed his eyes at you. “I might just if it means these dangerous things don’t touch your pretty mouth.”

“What the –” You didn’t know if you would be scandalized by what he said or if you were going to laugh. The latter won and you tittered. “That’s a good one.”

“I mean it, Y/N.”

Boldness engulfed your whole thought process as you stepped closer to him, looking straight into his eyes. “And if I insist on it? Placing dangerous things in my pretty mouth? What are you going to do then?”

He, too, leaned forward, eyes flicking to your lips. “Then I guess I just have to keep your mouth too busy to even think about smoking again,” he whispered to you, his breath hitting your lips.

You smirked at him then. “I guess I just have to make sure you aren’t around if I do feel like smoking.”

He pouted. You burst out laughing.

You reached over and pinched both of his cheeks. “You’re so adorable.”

Sukuna swatted your hands away, but smiled nonetheless. "You're the only one who says I'm adorable."

"You are. You just don't know it."

“Okay then. If you say so.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear then, your skin tingling where he touched you. “Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Not really.”

“Good. I wanna do something for you.”

You eyed him questioningly. “Hmm. What?”

“That’s a surprise.”

It was already around two in the morning when everyone had the unanimous decision to leave the club which was still packed. You, too, were getting tired especially after Ieiri ended up hammered and Satoru was emptying his guts through his mouth. Suguru was a bit drunk, too, but he was trying his best to help you take care of them. Sukuna had been very nice all night, even helping you load Satoru and Ieiri into the backseat of Suguru’s car.

“Would you like me to drive you home?” he asked you after shutting the door to the backseat.

“No, I’m gonna be fine. Besides, I can’t just leave Suguru to deal with them both.” You motioned to his Jeep. “You should go ahead, too.”

Sukuna grimaced as he nodded. “I guess that would be for the best. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. You take good care now.”

“You, too, sweetheart.” He stepped forward and pulled you against him, hugging you, enveloping you in his warmth and that scent you loved profusely. “It’s really great seeing you tonight.”

You returned the gesture, smiling up at him as you tried to compose yourself. “It’s great seeing you, too.” You stood on your toes and pecked him on the cheek before giving him a gentle shove towards the car. “See you, Sukuna.”

He waved at you then boarded the car. You watched as it disappeared down the street before turning away to enter the club to get Suguru who was left to settle the bills. You found him seated on one of the couches, finding your way easily since the crowd thinned a bit.

“You okay, dude?” you asked when you reached him. He was pale and he looked like he was going to throw up anytime. “Do you need to go to the restroom?”

He shook his head. “Just get me out of here.”

You chuckled, leading him faster out of the club. You sat him down on passenger side and soothed his back, asking after him again as you started the engine. He said he was fine, laughing when he caught a glimpse of the two who were already passed out on the backseat with Satoru lying on Ieiri’s lap while her head was lolling limply to the side.

The drive was rather short without much cars on the road, but Suguru was still able to squeeze in a conversation, and of all the topics he could broach, it had to be about Sukuna.

“I thought Sukuna will be driving you home,” he began, glancing at you.

“He offered, but I can’t just leave you.”

“That would have been okay.” He glanced at the rearview mirror then, checking on the two, you could only guess. He could be such a mother hen at times. “I think he’s cool.”

“Mhmm.”

“And he’s really good-looking,” Suguru threw in with a chuckle. “Just date already.”

You chuckled. “Why don’t you date him instead?”

“Don’t you want to try it out with him?”

“He hasn’t even asked me to date him.”

“Yeah, but he already kissed you –”

“How did you know about that?” you demanded, mortified. Your cheeks were heating up again at the memory of it.

“Well, you’re in a public place.” He laughed. “So, it’s bound to end in dating anyway.”

“Not necessarily.” You turned sideways to look at him. “He’s older after all, not that I see the age gap as a problem. But you know, he might just be passing time.”

“He obviously likes you. If you date him, it’s a win-win situation. You like him, too, you just don’t know it.”

You scoffed. “How can you say that?”

He blew a raspberry. Typical Suguru behavior. “You can be yourself around him. You’re all smiley face around him, too. I saw you. You can’t lie to me.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah. You look your best that way. And don’t ever think you are just a pastime. I’ll kill him if he treats you as such.” He smiled knowingly at you. “Besides, you should date properly. Enough with your flings with stupid boys in campus.”

“Okay, dad.” You sighed, trying to contain your excitement. “I do like him though. He’s so nice to me.”

Suguru reached over patting you on the shoulder. “Ah! My daughter is a grown-woman.”

You swatted at his hand, laughing at his antics.

-end of part 1-

If you're curious who Howard Roark is, he's one of my fave literary characters from Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead." He's excellently made. That's it.

Can architect!sukuna please call me "sweetheart," too?

If you want to be included in the tag list, please DM me :) I'll be posting every week (or I'll try to anyway). Someone remind me to post the next chapters please?

Additional notes are available in the masterlist, particularly on the reasons why I wrote some things the way I did. I don't know what I'm trying to prove there, but haha!

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20210618]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART SOURCES FULLY CREDITED TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[lnkedmyheart]

Thoughts on All The Young Dudes

The following opinions are based on my reading of ATYD as a standalone novel. I didn't really link it entirely to HP so to me ATYD marauders aren't exactly the HP Marauders even if I do consider the events of HP as an extension to ATYD. It's kind of hard to explain but the main point is, I didn't read ATYD as a fanfic but as a seperate story.

Finished ATYD today. I started by reading it but then I developed a really bad migraine so I switched over to the audio version on yt by Fleur's Uploads, definitely recommend for anyone who likes podfics and doesn't have the time or energy to sit down and read this door stopper. I just put it on and went around my regular chores.

I genuine loved the way it's written and I have a newfound love for a lot of characters. I also never truly cared much for the marauders in canon because of how badly developed they were along with many other side characters. Now I genuinely love all of them, even Wormtail is well done in that pitiful awful person way because despite knowing that he was the traitor from day one I couldn't help but feel somewhat sorry for him. They all had to make a choice and he made his as nasty as it was.

I actually like how Remus only found out about the Potters and Sirius later. It hit harder because he wasn't even there for it. That emptiness and lack of closure was...awful.

My only partial gripe with the story in general was the way Sirius was told that "you're not special" about having spent 12 years being tortured in isolation in Azkaban. It's not that he was the only one who suffered but he didn't exactly get a chance to grieve. Yea sure Remus lost his best friends and his partner seemingly betrayed him but he also had Mary and Grant who genuinely cared for him. He was justifiably depressed and isolated himself by choice. But Sirius also lost his best friends, got betrayed by someone he put his trust in, got tossed into a prison where he got parts of his soul sucked out regularly for 12 years all while knowing that everyone including his partner thought he was the person who killed his best friends.

Like...they both suffered a lot but there it felt like Sirius' suffering was reduced to "moping" instead of justifiable upset at his circumstance. He went from one war, to torture to another, never truly got to grieve and got called out when he lashed out. It felt...too harsh. Though I still did like it. Like I said, it's a partial grievance. The only person who calls him out like that is Grant who has no idea how Azkaban works and his priority would always be Remus. Plus since Remus and Sirius are extremely flawed people and aren't supposed to be ideal relationship it felt accurate. They're both hurt and angry and tired.

I like Grant, I think he's my favorite. But I'm glad he left because he deserved to be someone's first priority. I also don't think Grant and Remus were good for each other tbh. Grant would have been good to everyone just like with Remus given he loved them the same way but Remus is...flawed and aggressive and I think the hotheaded werewolf in him needed the fight Sirius gave him. Their push and pull felt equal, and at several points they seemed to sort of enjoy their fights. Grant felt more like he took on the role of a caregiver than an equal and it was hard to see that dynamic as someone at a more experienced age.

(This section is general hp rambling)

A not so funny side note, I had completely forgotten about Tonks and Remus as a couple. As a kid when I first read the story they had seemed pretty cool although sudden, but I never really went back to really look and uhh...as I read this I got more and more disturbed by the pair because I was googling canon dates and ages because I was so thrown off by the sudden reminder of Tonks being Andromeda's kid. I literally had to drop the book and rant to my brother about it. Like...he really married his best friend's cousin's daughter who was 13 years his junior. It dredged up personal bad memories from when I was barely 20 and had started seeing this 31 year old. Like even as a legal consenting adult there was this massive gap in our experiences that I automatically felt somehow inferior and it only occured to me at 25 how much that messed up my mind. But then I got deeper into googling the details, not only did they get together abruptly with Tonk's depression getting cured immediately but they got married less than a month later and had a kid before the year ended. I was floored at that. This isn't even taking into account that this was his best friend's sister's daughter he married. Btw this isn't me saying this as a new fan of wolfstar, this is just me being uncomfortable with a pairing that I didn't really mind before back when I was a teenager or a 20 year old.

I wouldn't have been this shaken up had Tonks been a bit older and emotionally mature (rejection depression and inability to move on isn't glamorous or romantic) and their story was written less like some "love cures all, have babies without worrying about passing on some brutal hereditary illness, have babies during a war when you're smack dab in the middle of it" thing. I also would have been way cooler about this if Tonks wasn't Sirius's niece.

I guess perspectives change when you're older and suddenly so much stuff just feels weird once you experience things and realise somethings are better not touched with a 10 foot pole. I would also like to say I don't really ship wolfstar in canon. I don't have enough attachment to the marauders and I mostly like the ship in ATYD which I see as a standalone story. This realisation did however make me chuckle when Lupin got uncomfortable at the idea of Harry dating Tonks because of the 10 year gap.

Verdict- I like it better than JKR's HP.

I also cannot imagine anyone other than Ben Barnes as Sirius (or Andrew as Remus, AT Johnson as James) so well...thanks for that tiktok.

[zu-is-here]

Hiii Zu! How are you doing

Hii Gayfish! Really good, thank you <3 Had a "rollercoaster" weekend xp How was yours?? ♡

UPD:

It was a really peaceful start at the theater with the musical "The Great Gatsby" (based on the movie I adorrre ♡), now am resisting to make a crossover xd

The night was sleepless yet pretty productive with the comic ♪(´ε｀ ) But this morning I woke up in a bloody bed, so terrified—

It turned out that the ingrown claw had injured Koshka's paw pads ;3; so I wrapped her in a towel and ran to the vet clinic where she had a mini-surgery :') and now good old grumpy lady is limping (>3<)

Something happened?.. (ó3ò) Do you want to talk about it? Hopefully it's gonna be alright, have a good time together! *hugsss* (ówò)

And thank you sooo much! (〃ω〃)

Oh that was spectacular! (*'▽'*) Fully based on the movie (even the same decorations) yet the songs were truly amazing ☆

OMG— please, watch the movie! \(//∇//)\ (starring DiCaprio) The novel is not nearly as exciting as the movie is, the music, acting, metaphors, literally everything, — I can revisit it over and over again ♡

I should resist cause Dream risks to be a female again XD

Thank you a lot, Gayfish! (*´꒳`*) She's resting now, hopefully it's gonna be alright very soon <3 True, milady wasn't happy with this sudden worry of mine xp

No fight is worth your family relationships╰(*´︶`*)╯Sure fights do happen and your parents can be persistence but always because they want the best for you. Hopefully you find common ground <3

Awww that looks sooo delicious! (*´﹃｀*) Heaven *^* WOW that's a lot! (°▽°) I'm really glad to hear you had a great meal and a nice time together <3

YOOO— congrats! \(//∇//)\ I'm sure it's gonna be eerily beautiful ☆ The hype is real!!

P. S. A small doodle?? Oh I'm intrigued~ (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

[noveltyreads]

Burn Down, Rise Up by Vincent Tirado Book Review

ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

This book, described in one word, was twisty.

Burn Down, Rise Up is a suspenseful thriller with a supernatural edge. Think Stranger Things but scarier and horror filled. I was kept at the edge of my seat, never knowing where the story was heading and constantly surprised by the endless twists and turns.

The build up of suspense and atmosphere was done really well here. There was ambience and aesthetic which made the Bronx come to life, making the setting of the Echo become more harrowing and spooky. This was really what made the book shine and a definite strength of the Author's. I loved the way the world was created and how you were instantly transported to the Burn Down, Rise Up version of the upside down.

From the very start the thriller aspect was prominent. The start was a little bit jumpy if I'm being honest as it begins with an action scene that you're kind of thrown into. After the prologue, it becomes slightly slower in pace and the story is further built up. All of a sudden, everything sort of unravels itself and you're left wondering "where is this book going to go next?"

World building and pacing aside, the characters were also really cool to read about and I found myself liking each and every one of them. I liked Raquel even though she did a lot of questionable things to her best friend and to her crush, Charlize. Charlize was a good love interest but as romance wasn't the main focus of the novel, I was glad their relationship was a slow-burn.

I think ones of the major subplots that underlined this book was friendships. Raquel and Aaron have been friends for ages and Raquel has been acutely aware of Aaron's love life, his feelings and his emotions not just towards her but towards other people as a whole. So even though Raquel broke his heart in a way, I liked how their friendship endured despite their previous perils.

The one negative about this book though was, as I mentioned before, the jumpiness at times. It wasn't just occasionally in the writing pace, it also was in relation to a lot of character motivations and events. I'm really going to try avoiding spoilers here but there was a part in the book where Raquel decided the reason behind so much of the gore of the Echo was to do with one particular horror that had to be stopped. This conclusion I believe was drawn from rediscovering historical events in a flashback sort of way however, I wanted to see how the main character made these connections and decided her actions moving forward.

All in all, this book was suspenseful, twisty and a page turner with notes of supernaturalism and historical fiction. I really liked how these elements blended together into one to create a book so focused on the Bronx and the history of the area. I definitely learned a lot of things I never known before thanks to this book and how even through the worst of times, people and community endure.

ACTUAL RATING: 3.6 STARS

[whats-the-wish-of-your-life]

Every First, Every Last (Part 2)

Even in his old immortal form, he had always detested this young man. Maybe because he could hear his thoughts and how they refuted his actions towards Dong Kyung. How he acted indifferently, while in his heart he was completely smitten by her.

What a hypocrite, Saram thought to himself as he took a deep sigh to alleviate his annoyance.

To his amusement, the young author then approached their table.

"Noona!" Park Young greeted Dong Kyung with a big smile. And a bear hug.

Dong Kyung could only lightly rub his back in response while avoiding Saram's glare from across the table.

"Jagganim. Glad you could make it," she greeted him when he finally pulled away.

Saram could barely keep his temperament in check. Especially when the young author had the audacity to sit next to his wife.

"I asked my manager to fix my schedule for this," Park Young said proudly. "And I don't have to wear a mask since I am here as a donor."

"You should still wear a mask because your face is hideous," Saram interjected with a smirk.

Park Young just snorted at his disdainful remark. "You should wear glasses. You obviously have poor eyesight. Probably because you're old," he retorted.

"Do you want to wear a cast? Because I can crush your bones. But I'm a doctor, so I can also treat you after. "

"Do you want to wear handcuffs?"

Dong Kyung could not bear to just watch the ridiculousness in front of her. So she belligerently stood up from her seat causing the two gentlemen to fix their eyes on her.

"Ya! Do you want to wear a leash, both of you?" She erupted.

"Ani."

"Aniyo."

Both men responded almost simultaneously.

"Now the two of you, make nice with each other," she glared.

"Mhianada," Park Young was the first to apologize.

Dong Kyung then turned to Saram who then gave her a questioning look. But he quickly understood when her eyes narrowed.

"Mhiane," he muttered without actually meaning it then took a slug of beer.

"I'll go back to my table now, noona. I just really wanted to greet you," the young author said, then stood up and slightly bowed his head before walking back to his table.

Dong Kyung then moved to the chair beside Saram, who was obviously still fuming while chugging his second bottle.

"Ya, you can't drive anymore with that amount," Dong Kyung pointed out. "Give me the keys."

So he fished out the car key from his pocket and handed it to her. "Yeogi."

The fundraiser took more than half of their day but both of them had so much fun during the auction of first editions from popular authors who attended the event. Saram's inner bookworm was so excited to get his hands on some new books. While Dong Kyung received a copy of Park Young's first novel to be published in print. She was delighted to say the least, but her husband didn't exactly share the same sentiment.

When they got home from the event around five in the afternoon, Saram went straight to the shower to sober up. Dong Kyung just washed up in the small bathroom and changed into her house clothes, then went to the kitchen to fix a quick dinner.

She decided to cook instant ramyeon for her tipsy husband, some egg rolls and spam gimbap, since they were the quickest to make. Saram stepped out of the shower 15 minutes later and joined her in the kitchen.

"Are you sober now?" Do Kyung asked as she stood in front of the stove while watching the ramyeon simmer.

"I wasn't drunk at all," he responded while taking out a bottle of water from the fridge. He then walked towards Dong Kyung then leaned his back against the kitchen island behind her.

Dong Kyung turned to him and only then did she realize that he had nothing on except a towel around his waist.

"Are you going to eat dinner without a shirt on?" She quipped, after giving him a once-over.

"Are you hungry?" Saram asked, ignoring her question, then took another gulp of water as he tipped his head back, while looking at her down his nose.

For some reason, his question got her all flustered. Not to mention the way he was gazing at her without blinking.

"Food is ready."

"You didn't answer my question," Saram muttered, then put the water bottle on the kitchen island. He then took a step closer and gently pulled and pressed his wife against him, as he reached for the stove knob behind her and turned it off. He then put his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer as he leaned back on the kitchen island again. "Are you hungry, Dong Kyungie?"

Dong Kyung looked up at him, a little distracted by his still damp and messy hair. Her eyes followed the driblet of water that trickled down his temple, down to his jaw and how it briefly hung there before it trailed down his neck.

"Yes, I'm hungry," she answered, when finally, she managed to hold his gaze.

Saram's lips broke into an indelicate dimpled grin. Here he was, thinking he was sober, when he was clearly intoxicated by his love for his wife.

He had been aching to hold her all day while they spent hours outside with other people. And now that they were alone together at last, that ache had only grown into a burning greed.

So he lifted her from the floor and raised her to the kitchen island. Dong Kyung was quite delighted with how she could look at him squarely now without having to crane her neck.

"Happy?"

"Eoh," Dong Kyung nodded with a cheerful smile. "Do you...want some ramyeon?"

"I'm starving, Dong Kyung," he said with a rasp, while eyeing her lips with a hungry gaze.

Still at a loss, whether she should fix him up a bowl or kiss him, Dong Kyung decided to go for the latter.

She cupped his face with her hands and her husband closed his eyes in anticipation. She then planted a kiss on his forehead, then slowly moved down his nose, then both of his cheeks, then the corner of his lips.

But Saram could not hold out any longer. Using his index finger, he gently angled her face so the next kiss landed on his mouth and he welcomed her lips with ardent greed. His thumb swiftly tugged at her bottom lip, making room for his tongue to slide into.

Dong Kyung held onto his bare shoulders, while he held onto her waist. It didn't take long before he had to pull away to draw a quick breath. He took that brief opportunity to lift her sweatshirt off of her then pulled down her pyjamas, before plunging back in, with a new resolve to make her just as breathless and needy as he was.

His mouth started wandering down her chin, as his hands traveled around her back to unhook her bra. Dong Kyung tipped her head back when his mouth began to trace her neck, his warm breath making her skin blush a delicious shade of pink.

He then buried his face between the delicate mounds of her breast and licked the dip all the way back up to the base of her neck where he lingered for a bit more. He quite enjoyed the feel of his wife's chaotic pulse whenever he pecked at that area.

He decided to explore how far he could stretch his restraint by deliberately keeping his hands off of DongKyung's breast. He then hinged her thighs around his waist and swooped her from the kitchen island. He was determined to leave a trace of their lovemaking everywhere in this house. Surely, he couldn't leave the couch off the list.

Reenacting their position from their interrupted shenanigan this morning, he made DongKyung straddle him again. Only this time, it was just that towel restraining him aside from his wife's underwear. Even the slightest move she made was creating a delightful friction.

To his surprise, Dong Kyung suddenly pulled away from kissing him. She then looked him in the eyes as if making an important decision, before she finally dismounted from his lap.

His brain went into an overdrive when like a shot, she kneeled between his thighs and divested him of his precious towel. Her eyes widened in surprise when he sprung stiff and proud upon exposure.

"It's not like it's your first time seeing me," Saram nearly laughed at Dong Kyung's reaction.

"Not this close," she retorted while looking up at him.

Her gaze from that position created some interesting sensations all over him, making him breathless.

Dong Kyung then lightly gripped him by the shaft and gave it a gentle stroke which made him tip his head back against the headrest of the couch and groan a little louder than he intended. It was all the push she needed to keep going a few more times. Every move her hand made was rewarded with Saram's resounding moans that filled the spacious living room. And when her hand reached the swollen head, Saram grabbed her by the wrist.

Was this the extent of his restraint?

"I can't take it anymore," he panted then pulled her up. He then maneuvered her so she was sitting on his lap again, then planted a swift wet kiss on her mouth. "Ride me, honey."

Dong Kyung stared at him for a few moments. She had that same look in her eyes as if she was pondering a very important decision.

This was the first time he asked her to take control and it was wracking her nerves for that reason. Not to mention that he wasn't exactly average in size.

Ottoke? I can do this, right? She thought, giving herself some much needed peptalk.

Although he couldn't read minds anymore, Saram could tell that Dong Kyung was nervous about his request, just by how dilated her pupils were. He was getting ready to draw back and take her to the bedroom instead, when she suddenly moved and properly positioned her knees on either side of his thighs.

"Are you sure?" He inquired, unable to hide the need in his voice.

"Eoh," she nodded. "I know you'll be careful."

Saram smirked smugly at his wife's confidence in him. "I really can't promise you that right now."

And with that statement, he pushed the crotch of her underwear to the side and rubbed the head of his penis against her slit. Both of them groaned at the sudden contact.

He then guided her on how to sit on him properly, as she held onto his shoulders. They were both gazing at each other intently, eyes wide and breaths hitching in anticipation. And when finally, he could feel her wet opening slowly swallowing him, he pulled her by the waist and pushed himself deeper with a sudden jerk.

Dong Kyung whimpered weakly as she propped herself against him for support. Saram helped her keep a steady pace by meeting her halfway as she moved up and down on him, every inch of him gliding delectably in and out of her.

Her whimpers quickly turned into a series of moans when Saram started to fondle her breast while he suckled on the other. He needed a distraction from all the sensations quickly building up in his groin.

[awed-frog]

Cottagecore girl here, I know you were joking about the brontë novel thing but the brontë sisters lived in Yorkshire and set a lot of their books there and that's where I live so yeah, you're pretty much right. Also I'm glad to hear the not meeting POC thing is fairly common because I have trouble trying to get people from cities to understand just how white my village is. I don't just mean I wasn't friends with any POC, I mean I know every person who lives here and they are all white as chalk.

HA! I’m very happy & smug that I guessed that right! I met a few people from Yorkshire when I was in the UK and loved their accent so. much. and also felt very happy & smug I could understand it so well (I’d been insecure about my English, and instead look at me! chatting with locals! moving beyond received pronunciation! eating horrible salted butter!) and then one of my friend took a phone call from his mum as we were enjoying a /COOP/ of tea and BAM, all of a sudden it was like he was speaking a completely different language! I honestly hadn’t realized people water down their native accents when they move outside their region, so that was beyond interesting. Left me feeling like a ‘the cat is under the table’ beginner for about six weeks, but still - beyond interesting.

As for the POC thing, yeah - I don’t think it’s something that should weird us out. Many parts of the world are really diverse, but many parts are just not. I think that now we’re all interconnected those of us who live in the non-diverse parts need to make an extra effort to understand where other people are coming from, while those who live in the diverse part should extend us the benefit of the doubt and remember not everyone is well-read or well-traveled or whatever. Like, there’s seriously things you don’t think about when you don’t hear about others’ experience? For instance, I thought I knew things because I read about racism and stuff, but as stupid as it sounds, until I met my first black friend I’d never realized what’s going on with kinky hair? Like, at some point we were all on holiday in Very Distant Big City and my friend had brought an empty suitcase because she was planning to buy a shitload of shampoo and as it turns out, you do need a specific shampoo for her type of hair and no, you can’t find it in Small-Ass European Village and yep, that’s a problem and also her straight hair?, not actually straight or straightened with a cheap tool - a trained hairdresser has to do that and and and - to me, that was all new. And it’s such a small thing, considering, except it’s not, because for me, the choice of leaving my natural curls or somehow straighten my hair is pretty neutral, but for my friend, of course, it’s a whole deal - it’s not being able to look after herself easily and cheaply because No Products, it’s no hair salon in a fifty miles radius knowing how to cut her hair, it’s possibly being perceived as Not Quite Right if she walks around with her natural hair or with a traditional Nigerian hairstyle, it’s maybe feeling like Abandoning One’s Heritage if she chooses to straighten it...hence the importance of listening and also actively seeking out fiction about people who’re different from us, so we can learn and hopefully become a bit more patient and a bit better as human people.

Anyway - thanks for your message and please do wave some sage about to keep the typhus ghosts out!

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Winter Rain

I'd like to thank @xerxezra for the encouragement. I really needed it, and to the Enya song in which the title and fic is based on. I'm still working on the fic to go with a fanart of mine, but until then feel free to check out my other fics which can be found on my Fanfic Masterpost or Ao3 links which are in my description under my header.

In this fic the reader deals with a change in plans.

_______________

City streets were passing by, underneath stormy skies. No, there were no neon signs but there were cargo trains rolling by on the tracks parallel to the main road. Hmm, wasn't that an Enya song? Perhaps it was.

Funny that you were thinking of new age songs when none were playing on the radio, though you wouldn't have minded if any music was on; it would've made a difference. Enya's songs in themselves reminded you of that one teacher in elementary school who wore that cherry brooch you liked and drowned herself in a bottle of perfume. Your teacher, whatever her name, was halfway pleasant, but always wore a blouse which was a size too big and thus you always saw more of her then you cared to whenever she leaned over a desk to assist another student. Another Enya song, Only Time, reminded you of that one book you tried to read around that time with the questionable cover. Of course, neither of these things had anything to do with the drive home, but it was a passing nostalgia you couldn't pass up.

Wiry, naked trees were scattered along the way; none of them of much consequence except to the fragments of your imagination, where they were dancers in a wintery, mournful ballet. For his part, Rick was unaware of these random thoughts, for you had not mentioned them, but you did wonder about something else when you took a glance at the time and found you two were getting home a little faster than usual. “Rick, do you prefer driving? Or is flying in your spaceship easier?”

“I-I think each one is great in its own way,” he answered, keeping his eyes on the road. “but th-the fastest way to travel is by using my portal gun.”

“So it is. Hmm, makes me wonder what the Flash would have to say about that.” you commented as rain pitter-pattered against the passenger side window. “I bet he'd have a few things to say if you can catch him.”

“Gee, I don't know. I'll ugh - I'll have to ask him the next time I'm in his Earth dimension.”

Sometimes you didn't know if he was being serious or simply joking, though you tended to believe him, especially since it only added to your natural wonder. Your curiosity was a quality which tickled him immensely, but whether he could withstand it while driving was not something you were about to test. Outside, straight ahead, the roads looked all the same, although, to the discerning eye, one would notice the cracks here and there, and the splattered paint on the curb closest to city hall and the fire station. And while the roads were neither empty or full, you would say they were in want of life and perhaps a good shoveling, but with whatever technology hidden in the nooks and crannies of his station wagon, you two drove on the icy roads with ease. It was cold outside, but you weren't cold; Rick made sure of that by giving you the heated seat and a quilt to drape over yourself.

You were, however slightly bored because Zeta-7 hadn't been talking all that much this evening. He had been in a mood and you thought it could've had something to do with the phone call he received while you two were at the craft shop but he didn't say. It hadn't made him any less sweet, but he seemed distant in a familiar way that you were sure you had experienced some time ago. Perhaps he was fearful, he would have reason; contemplative as always; afraid, to an almost unhealthy degree, but risking a chance to placate him, you joked. “Are you trying something new? Is it a seduction tactic, cause I'm certainly intrigued.”

“Wh-what?” he blushed, as he turned the corner to head towards your street.

“Aren't you trying the broodish thing all cool guys do in those cheap romance novels? You know, the kind they sell at the drugstore?” you giggled, turning up the heat in the car to fit your preference.

“Gosh, n-n-no. I ugh - I-I don't think I'm cool enough t-t-to do that.”

“Really? Well, I think if you wanted to you could, though I doubt you'd try it unless convinced it would work. Not sure how effective it would be on me, but this isn't about me. What's going on with you,” you questioned with a serious, but gentle candor. “you haven't said much tonight.”

“I ugh - I have a few things on my mind is all, but it's going t-to be okay. I'm sorry if I alarmed you.”

“Not too much, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Are you?”

Stopping in front of your home, he admitted with a sudden disheartenment. “I don't know. Sometimes it's - it's hard to know especially if you hear bad news but I th-think I will be. Eventually.”

One of his watches was flashing, and it made you wonder if it meant what you thought it meant. While you couldn't read the line of code which passed over its digital face, you thought you'd seen a similar line of code before. “Are you going to have to go? Is that what's bothering you? I know you promised that we'd paint together tonight, but you won't be able to will you?”

“No, I'm - I'm sorry. I had asked for the whole week off, but this - it's from my supervisor. I can't ignore it. I have to go in. I-I really wish I didn't have to.”

“Oh Rick, if you had to go, why didn't you tell me earlier? I would've understood.”

“You were having such a-a great time picking out supplies that I didn't - I couldn't bring myself to crush your excitement. Now th-that I think about it, I don't know if this was any better, but I-I asked that I'd be able to bring you home first so that I wouldn't have to worry about leaving you there without a-a word.”

Zeta-7 hated to break his promises, and you hated the feeling of a broken promise, but as he switched the car off, and you two walked towards your porch, you admitted. “I would've figured it out and got home somehow. I mean there's enough Uber drivers in this town, and one of them would've driven me home, but I'm glad that at least I had this time with you. Please be careful and visit me whenever. You know you can.”

Instead of comforting him as your easy resignation usually would, he balled his fists and hit them against the railing; hateful of his own inadequacies. You had to admit that when he got upset, it caught you off guard, but it also reminded you that he still was very much a Rick, albeit a softer one. “Th-this wasn't supposed to happen. I-I don't understand why it always comes to this. We were - I had so many things planned out for us and th-”

You hugged him from behind, interrupting what he was going to say. “There will always be next time. Calm down,” you cooed, “it's all going to be okay. It's not the end of the world and I'm not upset by it.”

“But I don't - I don't want t-to keep doing this to you. I promised.”

“I know, but it's not like you do this on purpose. You see, this is what happens when a girl like me dates a guy like you. Expect the unexpected, and maybe a few space worms every once in a while if I eat a sandwich from a gas station on a comet somewhere. These things happen.”

“I wish it - it didn't. Lately,” he confessed, his voice taking on its softer quality. “I've been thinking a-about when I'd like to retire. Maybe I finally should.”

“Whatever you want to do, I'm okay with it. As long as it makes you happy, but only if you do it without regret. You would know best of course.”

“I-I certainly hope so.”

You two stood there in silence for a moment, but you heard a beeping noise emanate from under his sleeve. “I d-don't want to say goodbye, but I'll miss you m-mi corazón.”

When he wasn't around, your home felt emptier,

though you refrained from saying so, and because you didn't want to add to his guilt you simply said. “I'll miss you too.”

“Th-there's a chance I won't see you in a few days. At least it will feel th-that way for me.”

“You can always call me, and if you can't then I'll see you when I see you. You know where I'll be.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “somewhere I-I'm not.”

“Don't say that. You're always on my mind, and I'd like to think you're always with me, in one way or another. There's no way I couldn't think of you.”

He turned around to face you, his eyes appearing twice as expressive through his glasses. Zeta-7 studied you and brushed his thumb across the back of your hand. “Siempre estás c-conmigo, and because of - of that, I'm never truly l-lonely.”

“Oh Rick, I love you.”

As easily as it was to adore him with your entire being, so it was to break his heart. Whether it had been a lack of love or an abundance of heartache in his life thus far which shook him to his bones, a replenishing of spirit was always in order. You weren't tall, you never had been, but stepping on the tips of your toes, you pressed a kiss on his cheek that never failed to floor him, and marvel as though it were from a fairy queen; one comprised of stardust and moonbeams. “This means you belong to me. Got it cutie? No one else has dibs except for me, so don't look so surprised. You're mine.”

Like a tease, the weather picked up and the strong gust which followed made you shiver, which alarmed him and prevented his reply. You were trying to tough it out because he could be gone at any moment. And must've sensed this, for against your control you shivered once more, but he pulled off his own scarf to wrap around your neck. “It's going t-t-to get colder,” he said protectively. “so please don't forget to wrap yourself up tonight. I um - I placed a-a few thick blankets in your closet just in case. Why d-don't you go inside?”

“Because I can bear it for a little bit longer. Thank you,” you smiled sweetly up at him, despite losing feeling in your cheeks. “but I doubt I'll try to leave my house for the next few days. I'll look after this for you. Hopefully, it's going to be warmer where you're going.”

“I-I can't say, it's…”

“Classified information.” you finished.

“Gosh, I-I-I guess you know th-the drill by now. Smart girl.”

“Maybe. I don't know much, but I know you, and that you can't tell me certain things because you don't want whichever information to be held against me. At least I'm learning. Either way,” you softened, buttoning the top button on his jacket. “please be careful.”

“I-I will. Can I um - can I-I give you a kiss?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

Though of course, he would ask as though your disappointment would disqualify his validity to partake of your affection. He bent down to try to kiss you goodbye, his glasses fogging up at the closeness between you two, but a portal opened right behind him and the guard Rick's on the other side pulled him through. And like that, he was gone again; without a choice; without a goodbye. Your arms which had been around his waist a moment ago, you brought down to rest at your sides, and you too clenched your fists in quick frustration but found yourself halfway exhausted by the cold temperatures and suddenness of it all.

His scarf felt warm and soft about your neck and smelled like him; of vanilla, and of whatever his house smelled like. You thought of the painting that you two would not do tonight, and how you were once again alone. That seemed to magnify it all, intensify the fact that you might've always been alone and destined to remain as such. It used to make you cry when you realized that he could be taken from you at any moment, but you had gotten used to it, or at least you thought you did. Only a few hours ago, you two were at a café, discussing painting techniques and how with a little practice you too could paint that little tree you liked that was growing in the corner of your yard; his enthusiasm was contagious, and you were pumped because you really wanted to show him you had been practicing.

If once again someone cried, then it was you because he couldn't cry where he was going; he wouldn't dare to and repress it for as long as he could help it; if only you were as strong.

Oh, winter rain, how could it relate? It knew little except its natural way; of falling upon the earth; of life; of beginnings; of letting go; of uncertainty. Yet, it wasn't the rains fault; it does not know and could not know; if only. It was cold, and you were cold, with the only part of you that was really warm being where his scarf was.

Thinking of what lied in store for him made you want him back all the more so that you could hold him, and make him feel safe. You wanted him back now because it seemed so unfair that they'd take him when he didn't want to go, but you couldn't bring him back; not even for his sake; being against your power just like the rain. For now, all you could do was only open the front door to your home and step in as the last train passed by; not knowing when the next will come.

Fin