#i'm so glad to hear ur liking it so far anon!!!!!!!! do you have any favourite characters yet!?

[inkykeiji]

so I started playing genshin impact (I hate that I have to play on my phone but my brothers literally claim the playstation 24/7 LOL) but its soooo good omg. im not at the level with Childe but when I do ill be sure to let you know my thoughts lmao

hehehehehe omg anon!!!!!!!!! so i completely spoiled myself and did over a day’s worth of research on him before deciding to start the game because idk i’m weird like that and i never want to take the time to get into something without knowing if there is FOR CERTAIN a character i’ll love (i did the same thing with dabi and bnha) but YESSSSS U MUST TELL ME UR THOUGHTS!!!!!!! i can’t wait to hear them!!!!

[yeonzzzn]

Hi I'm that anon who requested about the enha hyung line sperm sample. I've had that thought for a very long time already, glad u liked it. I also have another req. Enha hyung line as your college classmate who loves to finger you while your prof discusses in front.

-🪻

omg yes I enjoyed your req so much!! it was so creative your brain is *chefs kiss* and omg my first emoji anon 🥹 you now have ur own # for when you send me stuff 🫶🏻 hope you enjoy this one as much as the last req! these are long 🤭

・❥・ heeseung would have his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he slowly reaches over to you, sliding his hand under your skirt and slowly rubbing his fingers against your folds. you’d try to not jump in your seat, fingers gripping your pencil and other into a fist that laid on top of the table. you should have known heeseung was up to something when he suggested to sit in the middle of the classroom today. heeseung fingering you during lecture is a normal thing, but it was usually in the back of the class. he wanted to watch you squirm under his touch. wanted to watch the way your body shudders when he slides your panties to the side and slides his long fingers inside you. he knew with being in the middle of the classroom, the easier it would be to get caught and that turned him on so badly. you secretly cursed at him while trying to act normal, thinking if you closed your legs tight enough around his hand that it’ll be easier to stay calm, but no, oh no, it just made it easier for heeseung to push his fingers in further until his knuckles were inside, curling his fingers into your g-spot. you covered your hand over your mouth, biting down on your lip to keep from making any sounds. heeseung just chuckles, seeing the way you came undone with his fingers through his peripherals. 

・❥・ jay just stares with a blank face at the front of the class, paying attention to lecture as his fingers work their magic inside your cunt. the buttons of your jeans would be undone and the zipper as far down as it could go as his hand is shoved between your panties and skin. you slouched down in the seat, giving him more access to push his fingers deeper inside you. you thanked any god who was listening that the two of you sat in the back of the classroom away from the eyes of your classmates and professor. your hands gripped the sides of your seat, knuckles turning white as your held your breath to keep from making any noises beside the small inhales from his touch. even though jay seemed calm and collected, on the inside he was going insane. he was loving the way your were giving him more access, being so dirty for him in such a public space. he loved glancing over to you, seeing your squirm and bite your lips. loved that your black laced panties even just a little, were displayed only for him to see. unfortunately for you, a small moan escapes your lips. it wasn’t loud, but just loud enough the professor stops lecturing to face you, “everything okay miss yn?” jay’s eyes were now on you, his smirk so obvious that it was making him so hard that you both were caught, his fingers not stopping, “yeah, yn, everything okay?” you nodded and apologized, saying you had a small cramp in your leg, eyes shooting daggers at jay once everyone’s attention was back at the front, his fingers moving at a faster pace as he kept eye contact with you this time, making you cum in his hand.

・❥・ jake would be trying so hard to not come undone just from fingering you. his own hand palming himself in synchronization with his fingers pushing inside you as he stares at the front of the class, watching the professor write on the board. jake couldn’t even focus on the lecture, the professors voice was muffled, the only thing jake was able to hear was the sounds your cunt was making of his fingers moving in and out of you. it was so lewd and so fucking hot it made his head spin. jake slumped down in his seat, hitting his knee with yours to signal you do the same. which you did, slowly sliding yourself down in your chair, giving jake more reach into your pussy. it took everything in him to not fling his head back and release a moan, to pump his fingers faster into you just to hear you moan out his name, to let everyone in this classroom know how good he was making you feel. jake glances over, loving the way you had your lips tucked between your teeth and hands gripping the chair. oh fuck he almost came just from seeing that. his eyes wander down, loving the sight of his hand moving in your sweatpants, imaging what it would look like to finally finger fuck you without any clothes on at all. the image alone made him palm his cock faster, biting his tongue and locking his jaw in place to not moan. but the moment he felt your cum coat his fingers, he was cumming in his pants.

・❥・ sunghoon would be so relentless. he’d already be sitting in the front row of the classroom, index finger pointing at you and then into the seat beside him. you already knew what you were in for, sunghoon was in a mood and you knew there was no way to convince him to move to the back of the class. but sunghoon would have a plan, waiting until ten minutes into lecture when he knew everyone’s eyes would be on the professor or their notes books or off in lala land. he slowly leaned over to you, whispering, “act like you’re writing something,” your heart raced, picking up your pencil and flipping to an empty spot in your notebook, writing scribbles onto the paper. sunghoon got to work quickly, his fingers unbuttoning your jeans and moving down the zipper, his cold hand then sliding down your panties and between your folds. your body shuddered against the coolness of his hand, trying to focus your hand to keep writing nothing on to the paper. his fingers slide inside you, pumping into at a slow pace and then picking up the pace. his thumb tapped your thigh, signaling you to spread your legs. you were scared to get caught, and due to nervousness you only slightly moved your legs, but felt his got breathe on your ear not even a second later, “I said spread your legs,” he whispered aggressively then moved back into his seat, so you did as you were told and moved your legs further apart. but that wasn’t enough for sunghoon. his free hand reached across him and landing on your thigh, fingers gripping the fabric of your jeans and spreading your legs out wide, his hand that was in your pants moved down further, shoving his fingers knuckles deep into your cunt. you tried to push your legs back together out of pure instinct to keep his hand there, but sunghoon was quick to wrap his leg around yours, keeping that one spread out. you knew better than to move the other leg, deciding to wrap that one around the leg of the table. you glanced over at him, already seeing his lust filled eyes staring back at you, “good girl,” he mouthed, “keep writing,” you tried to focus on the paper, now drawing terrible circles all over the paper, biting your tongue to keep from making a sound.

[gglitch1dd]

hello, I'm new to ur content and I just passed by ur tumblr/content last month, I was hooked and I really liked ur work especially the villain deku ones :33 I was also wondering if I may request this idea of villain deku accidentally killing his darling (this is my first time requesting and I'm kinda nervous on asking content creators), I got this idea from this video from yt called something with Amy (u can search it up if you wanna find out more abt the vid) and I instantly got vil!deku vibes from it. That's all and great job on your work and keep writing I rlly love it!!! <33

Hello Anon, baby!! I'm so glad you love my content! It makes me so happy to hear! Don't feel nervous! I don't bite. Also I'm proud of you for requesting it, despite knowing my answer. That still takes guts <3

Hmmm very interesting. Also ALOT of people love Villain Deku. I don't know why but I am more than happy to write for him. Now let me see what I can do about this.

Note: TW-Death. Reader dies. Izuku has sad boi hours. Mentions of blood and guilt.

Now personally, I don't think Midoriya would EVER kill Y/N. I mean he loves you too much. He wouldn't even dream of putting you in a situation where you were in danger and he could be the cause of it, especially if you weren't a villain yourself and you didn't fight or have a quirk to protect yourself.

He's crazy but he isn't THAT crazy. But in the one out of a million chance he does, you best believe it would tear him up from the inside out. It would split his head in half worse than any hero or person could do to him. He would feel as though his world would crash down and hurl at him from the sky.

It wouldn't be on purpose, hell he would assume you were far away from the battle like you should have been.

Midoriya would no doubt be fighting against a hero, most probably Dynamight (mostly because the guy won't leave him in peace) but also because it's fun. He had a plan. It was going to be flawless. He would trap Dynamight under a building. He had done much worse to him in the past and with how strong Dynamight was, there was no doubt he would survive it (much to Midoriya's dismay) but it would give Midoriya time to think a bit.

Or at least that was the plan. Until next thing he knew when he did have the time and Dynamight was trying to get out, he couldn't find you. It scared him because you weren't where he told you to be. You weren't anywhere until Midoriya just so happened to be walking down the building he brought down and he saw an arm that oddly resembled yours. It only fully settled in when he saw the engagement ring he had gotten you on your finger.

Your arm lifeless, like the rest of you and blood pooling from underneath the rubble. Midoirya would be speechless, motionless. His heart and soul would leave his body as he realised that you were dead. You were gone. Your arm pale and there being too much blood to even consider you being alive. You weren't just dead. You were killed.

Because of his actions.

Midoriya would immediately dissociate. Mostly because you were his world. You were his everything. The breath in his lungs and the beat to his heart. He was in love with you. Yah he had his ambitions, he had his own dreams and goals that he thought he would never stop chasing and yet without you it all seemed pointless.

Mostly because you made his dull and hell feeling existence in this world, worth living. You made waking up in the morning better. You made coming back home better. Hell you just made him better. Yet you had died because of him. At the end of it, the love of your life was your greatest downfall.

The guilt of killing someone he cared about. Someone he loved, someone he wanted to marry would overtake him so hard, I don't even think he would fight once he realized that Dynamight was free and that he was being detained.

It would only sink in hours later, sitting in a cell in Tartarus where he would feel the most intense pain, not physical, all just mental and emotional- overcome him. He wouldn't be able to breathe, to think. His head would feel as though it was splitting in two. You were gone. It was painful but it was the truth.

He would probably go mad at some point (not like he wasn't already mad) but then at the end of it, I think he would pull a Midoriya Izuku, escape Tartarus and head back to base to think. He was without you. Without his rock. Without the love of his life. So that only meant one thing.

Since his world was empty without you in it,

he may as well destroy everything else.

Nothing made sense without you anyways and besides. You were his baby, his precious dumpling. He would do anything for you. And in order to punish himself, he would even break down the world for you. As a tribute to your life.

He would swear it, at your grave, hands in his pockets. A fresh bouquet of flowers would be set for you and he would smile softly down at your name etched. "I apologize my love, I pray one day you would forgive me." He would whisper, eyes hollow and tired but a small smile staying on his face. "I promise to finish what I started. I also promise I will try to do it as quickly as I can... So that I can reunite with you soon."

-Glitch1d

I hope this was okay Anon, and I hope you loved it!!<3<3

<My Izuku Midoriya Masterlist>

[fatuismooches]

SLIDES SHADES ON, KICKS DOOR DOWN AND FALL ONTO YOUR FLOOR, GUESS WHOS BACKKK!;!!;

🌕💗!!!!

BUT AHHHHHFHDH LATIN DOTTORE STILL MAKJNG ME LOSE MY SHIT

and so many of the other posts that i was binginf just now too oh em GEEEEEEE, specifically fragile/coma reader comjng back to sumeru and all that AHHFHEHHHH

ANF ALSO I CANT BELIEVE U REMEMBERED ABT MT EXAMS AND STUFF 😭💗 i got my results recently!! A* EEEKFK back on the grind tho unfortunately

also rlly rlly thinking bout dottore randomly giving fragile reader academic/research-y things to do cus he knows they crave and miss the days where they could get on wit their stuff YKKK??

also omg sometimes i’m scared to like send any kind of brainrot in cus what if someone else has said a similar thing AND AHHDHH

but yea also thinkjng bout tutor zandik + akademiya reader MNNNFFNF

ALSO ZANDIK X POET READER i feel like zandik from like the akademiya days wojld be all poetry’s stupid 🫤 but like one day findinf readers lil poetry notebook whilst tryna find his own research in their dorm and flipping through and finding it littered with references to cerulean blue locks and vermillion irises..and maybe just maybe, poetry isn’t so bad after all

smooches i’ve missed bombarding ur inbox

SMOOCHESSSS :( <33333

🌕 ANONNNN AHHH IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm so glad you've been doing well, congrats on your exams!! I'm glad your hard work paid off, such a scholar 😍 But you better not overwork yourself that hard again! ALSO. DON'T BE AFRAID TO SEND ANYTHING IN!! I LOVE!! hearing what you have to say okay?? Ily 🌕 anon!! PLEASE BOMBARD MY INBOX. I LOVE IT.

HAHAHA it seems like a ton of Dottore brainrot has been infiltrating your brain huh 😅 Dottie speaking Latin really revolutionized ours brains hngg bUT WAIT I LOVE YOUR IDEA. THAT'S SO CUTE. Oh my gosh newdndow how do I phrase this. He knows you still have a love of knowledge and other things you used to be so into :( But nowadays it's died down since you don't think you're cut out for that stuff anymore, even though you miss it. Dottore being the one who respects and acknowledges your intelligence the most would not let you think that way! He'll let you indulge in as much knowledge as you want to. It's far better here anyway, with no restrictions. He'll even let you sit on his lap while you flip through his notes and try to analyze them. Okay and bear with me, this sounds strange but he would make up fake scenarios/brain teasers for you, and these would be PAGES long and you'd have to figure out the answer and report back to him 😭

Also made me think of this angsty af scenario of the day you officially got kicked out from the Akademiya... The sages and profs were so unsympathetic with your condition despite multiple proofs and notes of it being real... no matter how much you begged and sobbed, they refused to accommodate you and revoked your position in the school. Yes, it could be absolutely freaking brutal in there with the workload of assignments and all, on top of your illness too, but you still had dreams. Dreams that you were working so, so hard to pursue... you were trying your best, why couldn't they work with you? You go back to your room to try and pack since they want you out but your stuff just ends up strewn on the floor while you cry. When Zandik comes back you don't even bother hiding your tears or the reason behind them. You can see he's absolutely furious and about to let pure foulness leave his mouth but you interrupt him with a few simple words - "Zandik, just hold me, please." You don't want to hear any words at this moment, because you know nothing will be alright, but at least his touch grounds whatever is left of you to this world.

Okay moving on... Nah I need tutor Zandik. If he saw my dumb ahh while doing math... gone 😭 HEHE I love this trope... i can imagine initially being very serious about trying to learn. But then their tutor is this cutie? Welp, all of that going down the drain. Though, I think it would be pretty sweet if reader ends up learning anyway. Because the professor's way of teaching is so outdated or simply doesn't work for you but somehow when Zandik explains it you're like ?? oh! That's so much simpler! Another possibility - reader purposely flunking so they can get assigned to Zandik for tutoring 🤭 Bro would be flabbergasted that you're wasting both his and your time... because you thought he was... c-cute? Disgusting.

YEAAAA I ADORE DOT AND POET READER I THINK IT'S SOOO ROMANTIC 😭❤️ lmao yea that man would think poetry/non-academic writing is sooo boring like why would you even waste your time on that 😒 You gave up LONG ago trying to convince him why you love it so much but all of a sudden he becomes a teensy more receptive to it... i wonder why? Totally not because he freaking read every single one of your poems, from the serious to silly ones, most definitely not because he found one named after him with a bunch of sweet references... he doesn't care but they were not that bad... he guesses.

[melmedarda]

tell us more ur thoughts on marcus arcane? i can send more specific qs if that helps

thank you :)

hello anon! feel free to send any questions, because at this point, marcus arcane is my chew toy, and i mull over him likely the most after mel. i simply cannot be normal about him.

so i just reblogged the character motivation sheet for jayce, and i really believe that marcus is parallel to jayce. how so, gentle, you may wonder. i'm so glad you asked. what marcus wants most seems to be the ability to keep piltover safe, and to fill the shoes that grayson left behind. we see this in act one, where he follows her religiously, acts in ways for HER best interest because that is how much he loves and respects grayson. AND LET ME PAUSE HERE BECAUSE!!!! WHEN EVERYTHING GOES DOWN AND GRAYSON DIES IN FRONT OF HIM AND SILCO THROWS HIM THE MONEY... and he says this wasn't the deal. JUDAS ISCARIOT!!! iykyk (and if you don't know i will soon be making a set so you see. so you understand). also... the fact that he kept the coin that was encrusted with grayson's blood. as a reminder. marcus,,,,,, baby boy... anyways. let me continue.

I think it's also important to realize that this is likely when he becomes sheriff, seeing as he was grayson's protege. AND THIS IS ANOTHER THING. he and caitlyn were both proteges of grayson. and i believe part of him hates caitlyn, because he realized, in the end that he was a fool, just as grayson had said. that caitlyn was somehow bringing more change/peace than he could. and here's where i strongly believe that if grayson had been around longer, died later, marcus would have been completely passed over as sheriff and the job would have gone to caitlyn, if it had been up to grayson.

ANYWAYS. so then, timeline's a little fuzzy, but i think the year grayson died was the year marcus became a father. after the time skip, i estimate ren to be about 6-7 years old, which means that marcus' main motivation had switched from continuing grayson's legacy to keeping his daughter safe. again, how can we tell? during the funeral for the enforcers, where he's talking of the enforcers protecting mothers, fathers, sons. the camera zooms in to focus on marcus as he mentions daughters.

AND THEN. when he meets with silco, sees the bomb and envisions himself pulling the trigger, and killing both himself and silco. yeah, that scene lives in my head rent free. marcus has always been ready to be the marytr, and i believe, already he considers himself one. the only reason he does not, i think, because then his daughter, ren, would have no one else. i think silco sees he is losing marcus that day, and that is why he turns up to marcus' house, ren's room. and marcus' face when he sees her with him.... people died. (it's me, i am people). it breaks him because the only reason he has remained under silco's thumb, is his desire to protect this daughter, despite the fact that doing so corrupted him.

and then when he holds the gun at caitlyn, he cannot bring himself to pull the trigger. why? WHY can't he pull the trigger? perhaps because of grayson's memory? or perhaps does he think of his daughter in that moment. does he remember that she is someone's daughter too. like, marcus isn't a killer. it's not what he does. he had the opportunity to kill vi, but didn't. he could have killed cait, but again, he didn't. in any case, she does not end up dying, and it is marcus who dies instead.

WHAT ARE HIS LAST WORDS?????????? "Tell my daughter..." I love her. we never get to hear him say it, but we know. we know because after all, everything marcus has done is protect his daughter. to give her safety, and a home. she was his reason for living, and she becomes his undoing, too. he's just a man who was doomed by the narrative before he'd even begun. and in the end, he failed to protect his daughter. i really hope that next season, we get to see marcus' daughter, that caitlyn tells ren that her father loved her.

anyways. if you read this far, kudos to you. if you have any further questions about him feel free to drop them on me.

[royalarchivist]

hey, can u not censor swear words in ur transcripts, heres a post explaining why

but in short: its considered ableist and infantilizing to censor anything in transcripts, especially swear words, cause not only are you giving hoh and deaf ppl a different experience from hearing ppl, but ur also infantilizing them by disallowing them from hearing something as simple as the words "fuck" and "shit"

deaf and hoh ppl are not innocent lil pwecious uwu soft beans and have just as much rights to hear swear words as hearing ppl, and by censoring swear words ur just being ableist, infantilizing and disrespectful

so yea, when it comes to transcripts do. not. censor. a. single. word. nobody cares if censoring words its a part of ur typing style or if its uncomfortable to fully type out swear words, accessibility for disabled people should always, always, ALWAYS come first before ur typing style

I've responded to something similar in the past, but I know there are a lot of new folks that have followed recently and things tend to get buried on the blog, so it's worth reiterating.

I do agree that there are a lot of issues with subtitling and transcriptions in media, especially in the past few years, and I'm glad we're seeing more conversations about it, particularly after this disaster started circulating:

Ugh.

But this ask is about my blog and not about film industry stupidity, so let's focus on that.

As I've repeatedly said, I don't leave things out or "censor" things because I think people are too innocent to see a curse word online (because let's be honest, that's stupid). However, I do think it's a bit unfair to assume I have bad intentions, let alone ableist intentions, with my transcripts!

I started this blog mainly because I wanted to share clips with friends, and I didn't want to clog up my main, but the posts started getting more attention than I expected. Every once in a while I started adding quick transcripts here and there, and full transcripts on rare occasions. I started doing subtitled videos after translating a few clips for the KarmaIand community, and then I kept it up because it's fun and good video editing practice. For me, the determining factor for whether or not I do something is ultimately a matter of, "Do I have time?", and I usually don't! Today, I'm using that handful of minutes to respond to this instead of working on video stuff.

I took a quick glance through the blog and I'd say only 70% of posts have any kind of transcription (if I'm being generous), and even less have full transcriptions. This blog isn't meant to eat up my time; it's a side hobby I'm not getting paid for. I'm just sharing goofy clips because they make me smile, and I hope they can make other people smile too. This blog isn't a priority for me, and it's not an official / professional archive, nor do I want people to treat it as such!

As far as the "Nobody cares" part, I care!!! I rely on subtitles for everything I consume, and I'd genuinely love to be able to write full transcripts for every single video every single time and not "censor" things so I can help other people like me. But like I've said before, I can't, and that's a topic I'm not going to get into because it's nobody's business! ¯\(ツ)/¯ I hope you can respect this boundary. It's not a matter of me having a "typing style".

Ultimately, this is my take on the matter: if it's a choice between doing transcripts to the best of my abilities or just posting things with no transcripts or subtitles at all, I'm always going to choose the former.

Even though I'm sad and disappointed that some people are quick to assume the worst of me and my intentions solely because of what I put (or don't put) in the description of a goofy little MCYT video, I do appreciate your passion anon, because this is a big issue! Unfortunately, this is as much as I can help, but I'm of the belief that any effort made in good faith is better than no effort made at all.

For folks who want full transcripts that are very professional, I highly recommend checking out @mcyt-transcribed! They've got a great team, and they've even transcribed a few of my videos, which is nice! I've always appreciated what they do, and I think they deserve a lot more love and recognition.

I know this is a very long post and not what people signed up for when they followed this blog, but I like addressing this stuff because I feel like, in this community especially, people tend to have a habit of letting things fester. And that sucks! We're all just here to watch people make jokes and play block game, after all. I think open communication is key to resolving most issues, and even though people won't agree on everything, I hope they're able to walk away from the conversation without any hard / hurt feelings and with a better understanding of the other person.

[amchara]

hey!! I’m so sorry if this comes across as rude but do you ever plan on continuing “not the distance that scares me”. Anyways I think ur like my fav TSC fanfic writer ever and I can’t wait to read all your other works.

Hey anon! No, I don't think it's rude at all - I'm happy to answer any questions about my fics, includings ones like "will you be continuing [x] fic?"

I do plan on continuing "Not the distance that scares me" but to manage expectations, it's likely to be a couple of months before I do, just looking at my schedule between now and the end of January... But if you follow me on Ao3, subscribing to the story will let you know when it's updated.

In general, I have a compulsion to finish fics before I start new ones and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I think I have only one other one that's not updated in a year? And even that one, I haven't abandoned completely.

It's a bit unusual at the moment I have three outstanding published WIPs but two of them will hopefully won't be WIP much longer- and as they're all contained in the same universe, just at different points of time- they're all not far from my mind. So even if I'm concentrating on one, it's easier for me to switch back to writing the next one.

Current plans for my writing for the next couple of months:

Fate the Winx Saga Christmas Exchange Fic - due end Dec

Chapter Six Herondales Don't Fail

a couple of Matthew-centric and Matthew/Cordelia one-shots that I want to write before they get completely made non-canon by Chain of Thorns

Finish off "Not the Distance" and "Second verse" fics

But of course, sometimes inspiration strikes and things can get updated sooner. ;) Lastly- thank you so much for your compliment! I'm glad to hear you enjoy my fics. 🥰

[agirldying]

so firstly thank u for doing this series on ptsd, it reminds me to think of my own experiences and just :) yeah it’s good. I feel like I’ve grown a lot n I hope you can recognize ur own growth too!!!

secondly, iiii went to a school orientation the other day and there was a whole seminary thing abt sexual assault that was mandatory- I watched it and felt fine but the day after i’m dealing with flashbacks and nausea and I just don’t feel well, is that a normal feeling to have?? have u ever experienced anything similar??

lastly- how’s ur day been!!! :D

Hey anon,

Oh thank you! I know I wasn't getting a lot of notes on them and that's not the point but it feels good knowing it's actually helping someone else to read them. I'm glad to hear you've grown a lot and I agree that I've grown a lot as well.

Also oof I'm sorry to hear about what happened. While it's good that they actually discuss sexual assault, they definitely should be more considerate of the survivors who may be triggered by that topic. It makes sense that this is giving you flashbacks and unease, but I'm really sorry about that. It's definitely normal for survivors to react that way to their triggers, and yes I have definitely experienced similar things, especially when trying to work on my exposé.

My day's been pretty good, I didn't have any classes today so I caught up on my one asynchronous class Intro to Cognitive Science which was actually really interesting so far. My boyfriend and I just got back from grocery shopping and he's making me eggs and toast before dinner. He loves making things for me :)

I hope you're feeling better now but either way I'm here for you if you need to talk about anything. Thanks for checking in!

[rrxnjun]

HECK YEAHHH!! 03 best line😌🥳i was so happy to find out he was born in 2003 cuz i swear it's so rare to find anyone born in 2003 in any band (or tbh even just content creators)!! we are superior for being older than him /j😌😌 WAIT LMAO THATS KIND OF COOL THAT ITS ON THE SAME DAY:o doyoung is my guy after jihoon he is just so great so i understand him hitting differently lmao

yeahhh iguess i love doing things that take a lot of patience although i'm a very impatient person😶 and i'm still on the start of my embroidery career but it's so fun!!! we are the coolest grandmas out there😎😎😎 dude i love plants but i always end up killing them so🤡 (ofc sending one immediately!!)

i'm so happy about it as well;-; I WILL BUT MY PICS ARE PROBABLY GOING TO BE LIKE PIXELS CUZ WE ARE KIND OF FAR BACK SO I WILL SEND U MAKE SURE TO SEND U PIXEL CALUM!!! will tell u all about it🫡

SORRY!! IT WASNT FOR COMFORT🥲 tbh as u should treasure is fun so ur phase is completely understandable!!! jihoon is the definition of perfect tbh just love the guy!! ooo i've never seen that i will go and watch that later👀 but losing ur shit is probs very much understandable🤣

WAIT ACTUALLY OH MY🤭💞but actually only write it if u want to!!! i don't want to force u!!! IT WILL BE!! MANIFESTING FOR IT TO BE AMAZING!!!!🥳🥳🥳(awww thank u so much🥹lmao that would be kind of funny ngl but maybe hopefully i will be comfortable enough to not be anon by then cuz i'm starting become more comfortable to post on the internet so i might save u from having to do that🤣)

i'm very glad it cheered u up!! i always love reading ur replies to me and they just cheer me up always tbh hihi🥹💗💕 (liebestraum anon💕)

TRULY !!! 03 line is so rare to see i think and thats why i automatically adopt every 03 liner i see 😭😭 also our bias taste is....the same. i am NOT surprised 😭😭

how can u be an impatient person then 😭😭 i get impatient w art and then i rush the details and it ends up looking like shit 😔 the only thing i dont feel like i rush is writing but even that sometimes gets hard to do LMAO 😭 i got so many plants for my bday also!!! im surprised they're not dead bc sometimes i forget to water them and im lowkey freestyling the care but i love all of them to death💓 wishing u good luck w your embroidery career and waiting for that bracelet !!

CANT WAIT FOR PIXEL CALUM!!!!!!! better than nothing 😔🤞

losing my shit is understanable but also it makes me feel silly like girlie that man doesnt know you and here u are in a parasocial relationship with him💔 watching ygtb made me so proud of him tho he grew so much as a person and a performer and so did all of them!!!

i woULD but see it occured to me that i have exams next week so i kinda lost my shit and now im spiraling instead of writing but. it wILL happen after !!!

omg i am glad to hear you are more comfy!!! i would never pressure u into anything bc i want u to be 100% comfortable but if u ever decide to come off anon i am welcoming you w open arms my friend 💓

to finish off this reply i want to apologize for being so late with it but i had a rough week full of stress and hangover 🤠 also i hope you are doing well and that you are taking care of yourself!!

[kpoptrashlord-007]

Hi! Love ur work 💕 would u ever make a part 2 of ur yandere Hongjoong fic Two Sides of the Same Coin? Love it so much and want to see what happens next for them!!

Hi hi! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying my fics! I'm glad you've liked what you've read so far :)

Two Sides of the Same Coin? lemme go re-read it really quick. . .

Ah yes! I'm still so shocked that that one is doing as well (in terms of notes) as Promises, haha. And now there's interest in a second part! I have to be transparent here like I (hopefully) was when asked about Promises / other part two requests:

While I don't mind writing another instalment for any of my works, I can't guarantee it'll get done in a timely fashion. By the time I get around to it and formulate a fun concept for the next part, the hype has usually worn off. I'm just so slow at writing T_T

That being said, I keep track of all the fics that people have asked for expansions on and I do plan on writing them all! ... in theory. It's easier said than done haha. I'm not very creative so it's hard to come up with plot lines that are just as fun as the original piece!

wow, long story short I don't mind writing a second part, I just can't promise it'll be finished before your interest wanes >.<

BUT! I'm so so happy to hear that you liked it enough to want to see what happens next for those two crazy kids! (probably nothing good!)

Much love to you anon~ hope you have a splendid weekend! stay healthy and happy, and drink lots of water during these scorched times.

[educatedsimps]

Hii!! I love ur writing!! is it possible to ask for an Atsumu with reader who loves crochets and it's always making herself some clothes or accesories and him surprising her with a big pack of yarn n implements for her birthday?

request - crochet be mine?

highschool!Atsumu x f!Reader (set in AU3 sibling swap!)

includes: FLUFF, high school life (lol), puppy love (please, it's so cute)

wc:

a/n: hi dear anon! we’re really glad to hear that you enjoy our writing 🥺💕 this request was super adorable, of course we’ll write it for you! Lyssa doesn't crochet but i do, so we’ll be working together for this one (since it's an Atsumu request lol) enjoy <3

Atsumu’s POV:

She's using that hook thing again. Is it another sweater? Or a cute little pendant thing? Or another octopus? Whatever it is, it's gonna be super adorable.

Like her.

She was sitting across the aisle two rows in front of me and Samu, giving me a perfect view of her side profile.

Why haven't I mustered the courage to speak to her? It's nearly the end of our junior year!

Dammit, what's wrong with you, Miya Atsumu? You've never been so nervous about talking to a girl before! Heck, you have a whole fan club and you're surrounded by cheerleaders everywhere at volleyball matches!

This should be a piece of cake to you, you idiot!

I let out a huge groan and practically slammed my head into my desk. I whined once more as my eyebrows kept knitting (lol, I'm sorry, this is just so funny to me -Jo) themselves together into a frown.

"Why do you look like crap?" I didn't even need to raise my head to know that it was my younger twin speaking to me.

"Do you have any idea how disrespectful you are? I'm your older brother, ya piece of shit. OLDER BROTHER!" I practically yelled. Yeah, he was pissing me off.

The girl of my dreams was so near, yet so far. And now, I had an irritating younger twin to deal with.

"Look, man. You've been pining after Y/N since spring break. Literally everyone knows that you like her. You got so shy after she came by the gym last month! The Miya Atsumu I know doesn't get shy in front of girls!” My annoying brother nagged.

But, his words did get me to think again.

If I actually got as nervous as what Samu had described-

Holy shit. That means that it's actually true. I really do like her.

Samu plopped down into his chair next to mine just as we heard a voice a distance away, groaning in frustration.

“Dang it, I’m out of yarn. Again! This is the third time this week! And this was supposed to be a gift for the other girls at our extra curricular!” It was Y/N complaining to her desk buddy, Isaji Miyuki.

Out of yarn?

“We can drop by the craft store tomorrow after school, if you’d like?” Miyuki asked. Y/N shook her head.

“I can't tomorrow. My mom’s preparing my favourite dish for my birthday and I've gotta get home fast!" Y/N responded excitedly.

Whipping my head back to Samu, I elbowed him. Hard. He glared at me.

“Samu, I got it! You go ahead later after school. I've gotta run to the store real quick,” I whisper-yelled to my twin.

He looked at me suspiciously, before rolling his eyes and grumbling. “Sure, whatever."

Y/N’s POV:

A loud chorus of “Happy birthday, Y/N!” greeted me as I stepped into my classroom. Warmth bloomed in my chest as I smiled at my classmates.

I thanked everyone as I made my way over to my seat, noting that the infamous Miya Twins had yet to arrive this morning.

Jo nudged me with her elbow and gave me a pointed look.

“What?” I asked.

“Looks like someone’s disappointed that her favourite twin isn't here yet,” she teased. I flushed.

Was I that obvious?

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” I huffed.

“Oh, speak of the devils,” she murmured under her breath. Curiously, I looked up to see Osamu shuffling past my table, shooting me a small smile and another birthday greeting.

I mouthed a thanks to Osamu, just as his brother stopped right by my desk.

“H-hey, good morning, L/N-san!”

“Morning, Atsumu-kun,” I replied brightly.

A boyish grin was plastered on his face. He seemed to think for a second before he quickly reached back and pulled out a brown paper bag from behind him.

“Happy birthday, Y/N. I hope you like it!” Atsumu said in a rush, holding out the paper bag in front of me. I noticed that it was from the same store I usually bought my yarn from.

Before I could thank him, the bag was pushed into my hands as he scrambled back to his seat. His ears were tinged pink.

Aww, he's adorable.

Miyuki nudged my side again and eagerly gestured for me to open the bag.

Carefully, I pried open the brown bag and peered inside. In it were five balls of yarn, their colours similar to the ones I had been using for my current project. There was also a little note placed in the bag. I took it out and read it silently to myself.

Happy birthday, Y/N! I hope that you like the little gift from me :) I'm not exactly good with words but I really hope we can be friends, and I'm sure whatever you're making this time will be just as adorable as you are. Happy birthday again and I hope you have a great day too. - Miya Atsumu

His sloppy handwriting was unmistakable on that small piece of paper and I giggled to myself as I read each line again. My heart was palpitating at an incredible pace and I felt heat crawl up my neck at his words. I heard a tiny squeal from Miyuki as she kept looking back and forth between me and Atsumu.

"He's looking at you! Go say thanks!" Miyuki and Jo urged. Hesitantly, I looked back at the yarn and the note.

Then, I finally found the courage to thank him.

Atsumu's POV:

What if I had heard her wrongly? What if I got her the wrong coloured yarn? What if my note was too cheesy? I don't wanna weird her out! Oh no, she's gonna think I'm weird now-

I felt my soul leave my body as I watched her take out the note and giggle softly.

Oh man, she's too cute for my heart to handle...

My heart seemed to stop as I saw her stand up and make her way towards my table.

Oh my God, she's coming closer. Oh shit, I might collapse halfway, dammit-

"Thank you so much for the yarn, Atsumu! And sure, I'd love to be friends with you," she said, dipping her head slightly with an unmistakable blush on her cheeks.

So. Damn. Cute.

I coughed, and spouted out, "Y-yer welcome, I hope you like it!" I could feel my face turning red.

The next few moments were pretty awkward. Both of us endured three seconds of silence before we both started to speak again.

"I was wonderin' if-"

"Actually, do you wanna-"

We spoke at the same time and looked at each other for a good two seconds before I heard my brother snicker from beside me. I shot him a glare and continued.

"Sorry, uh... I was wondering if you would like to come to my next game- OW! I mean, our next game, next Friday evening?" I asked, giving my brother a side-glare for slapping my back before turning back to Y/N.

Y/N's eyes glimmered, she stumbled over her words and finally squeaked out, “Yeah! Of course! Th-that's what friends d-do, right?"

I heaved a sigh of relief. “Great! Awesome! I'll see ya there!"

She bowed again before scurrying back to her seat where Miyuki and Jo were waiting for her with wide eyes.

I collapsed back into my seat as my brother snickered yet again.

"What are ya laughing at, asshat?" I snapped.

"Pfft, nothing. Just the fact that it took you six months to ask her to be friends with ya," Samu cackled in my face.

"Oh, yeah? Well, how about you and Jo? You literally spoke to her only after eight months. Loser." I pouted childishly.

Samu cleared his throat. "Fine. Have it your way." Damn, he's blushing.

Then it hit me.

“YOU LIKE JO-,”

He slapped his hand over my mouth so hard I nearly flung backwards and out of my chair.

“SHUT UP, YOU PIG-,” he grimaced.

Class begun soon after, but my mind was still reeling at the fact that Y/N would be coming to my next game. She's gonna see how great I am on the court and she'll definitely wanna be my girlfriend after that! I thought, daydreaming about her yet again.

I already couldn't wait for the game. Stupid Samu, of course I'll get her to be my girlfriend, just you wait.

a/n: aaaaaaaa this was so cute to write, thank you again for requesting!! hope it was up to your expectations and thank you for reading <33

© educatedsimps 2021. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarize any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down (likes and reblogs are appreciated)

[nais-doodles]

i feel very yucky abt damien and huxley i would love to hear ur thoughts!!!

Okay so I'm gonna preface this by saying while we know the next audio is gonna have Damien and Huxley, and there isn’t going to be a listener, that’s all we know so far (thought someone did mention something about a patreon announcement which confirms that they’re romantic?? idk I’m too broke to afford the patreon rip), but this thing is gonna assume they are canon.

This one is gonna be kinda long and probably not as eloquent as it could be but here we go!

I personally don’t like Gavin - at least not in the romantic sense. In fact, it’s one of the (very very) few gripes I have with the d.a.m.n. story. In almost every other part of this universe you get to choose which character you wanna ‘canonically’ be involved with, but with this particular story we get saddled with Gavin as the canon romantic LI. I personally felt like I was gritting my teeth at points in the story because of the romantic involvement Gavin had with listener, but I still listened anyway because I like the story - and I’m glad I did listen because I love these characters! I just quite literally would have preferred any of the other d.a.m.n. boys over him, and Huxley and Damien just happen to be my favourites.

Another thing is, canonically, I don’t think any of the characters Erik has made have a romantic relationship that isn’t with the listener. Yeah sure, maybe some of the secondary characters are in relationships (like the dude in Marcus’ story who has a partner? And family? I can’t remember his name rip), but they don’t interact with the listener as much as the main characters do - and to have some of the most forefront ‘main characters’ be in a relationship is just really jarring to me? Sure, Lasko and Gavin had a fling, but they aren’t currently in a relationship. If Hux and Damien become a thing, there will now be a gender attached to the receiver of the romantic affection of these characters, when the whole point of Erik’s universe crafting is that there is no gender attached to person who is usually at the receiving end of any romantic affection i.e. the listener. (Edit: this doesn’t change their sexuality at all, which is great, but my point is in a universe where Erik makes it a point to be gender inclusive about people who are in relationships with the LIs, it seems kinda out of place. Not bad, but new).  I don’t know if this point made much sense so I apologise about that.

I can also definitely see how the whole friends to lovers thing can happen, especially after both of them going through something as traumatic as what happened in inversion together, but I feel like there have been no hints towards them getting together and it’s just going to be dumped on us for the sake of having a canon non-listener couple in the redacted universe. Granted, I haven’t had the time to listen to all of the audios after inversion because I’ve been so busy, so I might have just entirely missed the videos where this relationship has been hinted at (which if it has please let me know), but from my current knowledge and stand point this relationship has been ripped out of thin air. It makes me feel uncomfortable because up until this point I’ve seen all four of the the d.a.m.n. boys as brothers, so now that two of them are potentially gonna be dating each other feels gross and I don’t like it.

And finally, to carry on from this particular point, I don’t think I would be able to listen to the non-canon romance audios form Hux and Damien then. But this is just me being stubborn because I feel like they would be ‘cheating’, and I’m just very weird when it comes to things like that lol.

Don’t get me wrong, Huxley and Damien are amazing characters and I want them to be happy and safe, and while I’m not gonna go around attacking people who like the ship, it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I shall suffer in silence instead lmao

edit: removed a tag that said ‘I do agree anon it does feel yucky’ - it was meant to be /j but I don’t think it came across that way!

[uno-writing]

Hiii so, remember that time I said i have genshin hcs on the main cast, well here they are. (Well, most of them. I'll see how far I can write)

Btw a lil context, visions are abilities that a person gets in their world, and sometimes linked in their personalities, (btw this is just fan theories**)

Once u are given an element/vision from the gods, ur stuck with it, ok let's begin!

Arlo (our pretty boy) 💛:

-He would definitely have a geo vision (geo=determination)

-I feel like he would get his when he's PreArc!Arlo, where he's rlly dedicated bout the hierarchy and shit

- He would also probably have some links in the fatui, maybe his relatives (to summary it, they're one of the main antags of the game)

- Geo chars can also make shields, which alr fits his powers

-Arlo would have Snezhnayan roots (Snezhnayan=Russian area, also where the Fatui originated)

Seraphina 💜 (yass girl boss):

- Anemo, without a doubt (Anemo= have their own definition of freedom/& means to get them)

- Personally I'm torn whether she got it b4, or after she met John (tbh idk much her char so srry)

- Anemo allows the person to, well, use winds (some use it for speed, others for healing, and some one defensive side, yk yk) so i think it also fits her powers (gosh she's definitely ond the dmg dealer of the cast sksjs)

- I feel like she would be apart of Mondstadt's knights, like after she met John (knights serve the city as it's protectors, & their not in good terms w the fatui)

-Also for some reason, I can see her having a Liyuen ancestry (Liyue is like the place similar to China in game)

John (Sweet sad autum boy) 🖤:

- Ok holy cow you're hard to find a vision, but hear me out, Cryo John (Cryo=Duality)

- He's torn between so many things rn (and from the past, but he's making bby steps!)

- He's would also be a late bloomer (like in canon)

- Cryo itself is rlly diverse in that game, so i think it would fit him (mybe he can mimic or deflect the attacks from any element, but imagine how op that shit would be hahsjsjz)

- As much as I wanna put him in the knights as well, I like the thought of him being neither the knights, he just do his own shit

-He would also probably have Snezhnayan blood (like Arlo, but he's not born there)

Remi (Cherry girl) 💗:

-Ik she canonical has electricity, but personality wise, I think she would be Pyro (Fire; Also Pyro=Ambition)

- Like have u seen her? Her middle name is ambitious (but in a good way!)

- She would get hers during her Arc, like, that's where her ambition burn the most

- A rival of Cryo, for it's diversity (like there's MANY chars who use this element and have their own twist to it)

- She would def also join the knights during her Arc

- Idk if this is canon, but i think she was implied to have Japanese roots (that's why I find her being Half Inazuman fitting)

I kinda ran out of ideas to Isen and Blyke (srry boys 🧡 ❤️), but i might revisit their hc again jksk

Btw I just saw Chp 252, and OMFG I'm CRYING over the fluff in that ep, I'm glad Blyke & Johnny got a decent chat just this once. Also Arlo believing in himm aaaaa

Also why is Isen kinda fine, likd i just realized it aksjsk

Srry if this thingy got waaay too long, but, bye bye!

—🌻 Sunflower Anon (Any pronouns!)

Ooooooooo interesting!!!!!!!! Even tho I don't know what they are, I think the choices you made for them are super cool!!!! Thanks for sharing <3 <3 <3

Yesssssss I love chp 252 its lovely-

My darling gym bros *chefs kiss*

Everyone seeing how hard John's trying is amazing and so fluffy-

Isen very fine bro-

Like he doesn't get a lot of good angles or shots, but when he does he's so very pretty. It's honestly jarring how gorgeous he is in some shots lmao

Nah it's fine!!!! No worries about long asks :D :D

(i'll add them :D <3)

[madisonbeersource]

i am fully vaccinated and have the booster !! which makes getting sick more annoying ☹️ but hopefully i’ll be feeling better soon. and work has been very light bc most people in my office are on vacation for the holidays still.

i’m so sorry about your grandmother. she sounds terrible to deal with. i’m glad u had other family members with you to help, though. how much longer are you on break for school? do you have any fun new years plans?

and i do live alone! for the first time ever, and i’m enjoying it so far. but i would love to adopt a cat 🤍 we’ll see though, i need to wait until i’m more settled but a little cat to read by the window with? perfection 🪟✨

i decided to buy normal people! i hear so many people talking about the romance of it bc i think it’s also a tv show?? but i’m excited to see if the romance lives up to the hype online 💕

what show are you giffing? i love kdramas but haven’t kept up with any since my move, i need to start watching them again

- ☁️ anon

HI LIL ANGEL!!

DAMN that's the only thing upsetting about the vaccine like u still can catch it, give it to ur loved ones & suffer ur but off!! OOO good for u at least u can rest and restore!

LMAO she's terrible to deal w/ indeed! like i don't really enjoy family but my very closed ones (parents+little sis) but i'm not a family love type of person! omg no I lit spent it w/ my parents & my sister and those are legit the best plus w/ covid I was like NAH i wanna stay safe !!

oo yes living alone is really enjoyable !! also....I wanted to ask but is it okay like did you recover from breaking your engagement & all?? sorry if this is TOO private pls feel free to not respond if u feel uncomfy !! OMG U PAINT PERFECTION HERE MY FRIEND

OOO is it good so far?? i am reading books that are smutty rn ngl didn't expect it to be but oh well like it anyway hahaha a lil smutt never killed

THE SILENT SEA!!! it was SOOO good i recommend it to anyone!!

[cdmodule]

You know what I don't know much about CD collections but it's nice to hear about collections. What's a CD from your collection that you are proud/happy to own and do you have a CD (or a few of them) that was very expensive when you bought it? -Food anon

IM VERY GLAD U ASKED FOOD ANON

First of all trust me my CD collection isn't anythin fancy It's really just a bunch of CD's in the corner of my room that I Love Very Much My favorite part of the collection (not necessarily my fave album overall) is Ab 18 (18+) by Die Ärzte which is an EP that was made as a result of 3 of their songs being "banned" at the time - I'll explain that in a sec - and a few more songs added that weren't banned per se but definitely questionable or Weird. Nowadays only one of the songs and therefore also the Whole Album is in the so called "index"

^^^Said album btw (It says "Warning! Sold only to teenagers over the age of 18") All offers I saw on ebay were 40-80€ at the time except for Bids and I got lucky and bid 35€ on one of em and Got It. Most I spent for any Album (usually I try and spend under 10€ for used CDs, a bit more If I have to) I just think the whole history behind some of these songs is fucking Hilarous, won't get into it in detail and I wanna put a Disclaimer that obvs I dont support all of the Off The Wall stuff they sing about (and neither do they) but its like. Sexual shock humor from the 80s I don't think It's worth getting mad over nowadays LOL I just think It's a neat piece of Ärzte Lore. Also one of the songs (instrumental wise) is one of the prettiest songs they have and I'm mad /lh I'll put some more explanation under the cut for whoever is curious about the whole banning thing

Thanks to the Bundeszentrale für Kinder- und Jugendmedienschutz (Federal Review Board for Media Harmful to Minors) three of DÄ's songs were in the Index back in the day, which is a list that collects all media that is seen as harmful to minors. Having your song on there basically means you can't publicly display it, adveritse it, sell it to minors (iirc you have to Ask the seller If they have it) or play it live. They also have movies and video games, however not If It's already 18+ as far as I know. There is a lot more about it, If you wanna read about it you can go here (Just found out they have an english article! Awesome) Fair warning It does mention some sensitive topics A few german punk bands I like such as Wizo got this treatment too for having songs that "encourage violence and terrorism" since the song is basically a huge "fuck the state and blow up rich people" anarchy etc track. The song is called "Kein Gerede" If ur curious The first Ärzte album got that quirky little sticker for having a song on there that ended up on the Index

Which reads "This product cannot be sold to people under 18 due to Child Safety laws and is not allowed to be advertised publicly" Eventually they removed songs from the albums and rereleased them, funfact when I saw one of their Albums in the store yesterday It had a sticker on it that said the album CAN infact be purchased by people who are under 18 since one of the songs is removed The More You Know!

[lavendersage]

i saw that post from the girl who's girlfriend isn't quite ready to be out. if ur blog didnt seem to celebrate love of all kinds (and i'm not talking straight vs gay, i'm talking happy vs sad) i would have kept this to myself, but between ur response and the op's story itself, i think im going to take this chance of sharing a burden on my heart, maybe to help someone else, or just for the shot at becoming at peace with it. a couple weeks ago, when u asked for everyone to send u stories of their lovers, i wrote most of this out but didnt send it.

i (21F) am a college student (god, is this reddit?). my entire life, i have cultivated the cleanest good girl image that i could. my parents sacrificed so much for my sister and i to grow up far more comfortable then they did, so i have tried to honor them with a little golden child they could brag about. straight As, never missed school, did community service, perfect SATs. i worked tirelessly to be on-paper perfect.

one of the reasons i've worked so hard to earn Good Noodle Stars is to make up for the fact that i am terminally homosexual. i realized real early that i could literally cure cancer and the first comment on the news video will be, "okay, she cured cancer, but at least I'm not gay like she is." i could raise thousands for charity, and my aunts would still say, "our kids may not get off the couch but at least they have sex correctly." so they dont know. few people do, none outside my closest circle.

in walks Mars(21NB). Mars is an anachronism. they are both a romantic with and without a capital R. be still my Dark Academia heart.

we got very close before school broke for Covid. Mars wrote me a letter every other week, encrypted and folded so that the only way to open them was to rip a paper seam that would show if someone had tampered with it. it was intoxicating. it was the first time i felt able to communicate freely about anything. i dont know - i didnt hold back my emotions, emboldened by writing in cipher. i spent all summer waiting for those red sealed envelopes, filled with stories and poetry and honeyed nonsense, and i refused to not respond with mirrored passion.

it was all great until it set in that I was going to have to face Mars again, in person. i prayed our school would decide all students had to stay remote. of course I wanted to see Mars, i want to do much more than just see them, but i knew it would only be a matter of time between us being reunited and them asking me out.

this was a person who crafted a puzzle where the answers were flowers that were a declaration of fidelity in Victorian Flower Language. of course i ate that up with a spoon. u would have too. listen, i know all aesthetics are fads and all fads age badly, but if the cottagecore girls get to learn to sew and bake and grow, i owe dark academia for teaching me the vocabulary and actions of my most treasured relationship yet, and giving me permission to be earnest and vulnerable in this life for 10 goddamn minutes. Mars is handsome and a genius and i was not used to feeling connected to anyone. but for all that joy, i was also drowning with the thought of having to break their heart by explaining i cant date anyone AFAB.

so the semester starts. Mars asks me over for a homecooked meal since restaurants don't exist here at the end of the world. they made me a beautiful dinner with all my dietary needs in mind. just like everything else i ate it up. and i made no effort to stop them from inviting me over for food and conversation again and again and a fourth time just to make sure it really hurt.

they kissed me after the last dinner. and I kissed them back, before stopping. they apologized for moving too quickly, but i explained that they had moved at the perfect pace, just with the wrong person.

there is no nice ending to this. it's real life. Mars took it as a breakup and didnt reach out to me again. i sobbed from halloween to christmas, i swear. i'm the villain in this story.

i started this post off as a sign of solidarity to the other young lady, but now im realizing that this letter would be better read by her fearful beloved, not her. it is 4am where i live, so i apologize if this has all gotten away from me.

love is a garden u have to water yourself. ngl, my favorite part about this blog is all the posts about learning to love yourself, learning to see ur intrinsic value dispite the core facets of u that have been deemed flaws, and trust the relationship between me, myself, and i.

i started out telling myself i was writing this to help the high school kid, but i havent shared this with anyone. writing this out has helped me process a thing or two, or at least start to. i like this idea of lavendersage being a kindly cryptid who will alchemise ur heartache into calm.

i hope you dont mind if i try to make this a thing.

my story is in the shape of a love letter. its tearstained before it even hits the water. i drop it in your river and watch it float away.

y’all are breaking my heart with these stories this week 🤧i feel so sad to read them and so helpless to respond, because i know how deep that pain must run and i don’t know if there’s truly anything i could say or do to take it away. but if i can lessen it from 100 to 99, well, then i’ll have fulfilled my goal of existing on this website. at the very least, i’m glad that writing this message helped you process some things on your own, but i’m happy to share my thoughts anyway.

your mars sounds like a top tier human being. victorian flower language? i’m swooning. it’s no surprise to me that you fell for them, and they were clearly head over heels for you. folks don’t make grand gestures like that for just anyone, that’s for sure 🥺

and i’m very sad to hear about the way things ended. but, anon, i can’t help but wonder if it is indeed over, or if hope exists on the precipice of a great act of bravery performed by you--something i know from experience is much easier said than done, and something i’ve failed to do in the past, so i’m not trying to be a hypocrite here. the ball is definitely in your court, though.

also...it doesn’t sit well with me to hear you call yourself a villain. i understand why you see it that way, as it’s clear that you deeply care for this person. but for many folks...the fear of what our family will say or think or do weighs so heavily on us that it robs us of any possibility of happiness with someone who isn’t the kind of person our family wants us to end up with. i’m sure plenty of folks, myself included, can empathize with this. and i’m sure on some level, mars does too.

my love, as with all things, i hope whatever happens next works out for the best, and that you don’t let this experience darken your heart. if things change between you and mars, please feel free to drop me a note. i’ll always be here to listen 💚💚💚`