#i've been thinking about this since yesterday so i woke up at 6 AM like HHHHH LINK... GANON.... but i had to get it out of my system

[kiarastromboli]

Teach me 6 (Chris Sturniolo x y/n)

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3 Part.4 Part.5

Masterlist.

Warning: Smut content, don’t like it = don’t read it :) dom!reader & sub!chris (soft)

Summary: After spending the night with Chris, y/n finds herself in a dilemma when she wakes up to realize that neither of them woke up on time, and she finds herself in an even more awkward situation when her mother starts knocking on the door to talk to her.

Note: Okay, it's been a while since I've been away. I've written quite a bit in the meantime, and I might potentially post a lot of stuff. I'm not sure yet if I'm really back, but feel free to leave requests if you feel like it. I'll write them with pleasure.

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When I woke up this morning, it felt like I had just emerged from a dream. I was at peace, and for once, I had slept really well.

As I opened my eyes, I discovered Chris's arms around me. I panicked for a moment before remembering what had happened the night before.

So that's why I had slept so well...

Grabbing my phone from beside me, I panicked again, but this time upon seeing the time. It was 10 in the morning. My dad was probably already at work, but my mom was definitely at home. Thankfully, I had locked the door last night; otherwise, she would have walked in and seen Chris in my bed, which would have been a disaster.

The problem now was getting Chris out of my house, especially knowing that my mom was awake this time. It's not like when Chris sneaks into my room at night while my mom is asleep. She's awake now, and believe me, this woman has ears everywhere. If Chris makes even the slightest noise while leaving through my window, it's over for us.

I sat up, not really sure what to do. Chris was deeply asleep, and I didn't want to disturb him, but I didn't really have a choice. If I don't leave my room before noon, my mom will really start to worry. She knows I'm not the type to wake up so late usually.

"Chris!!!" I whispered, shaking him to try to wake him up.

"Mmmh," he simply responded, still half asleep.

"Chris, wake up, you need to leave!" I whispered a little louder, feeling panicked.

"Mmmh, just 2 more minutes," he said without opening his eyes, and I groaned at his response.

"It's 10 am, Chris, you need to leave before my mom—" Before I could finish my sentence, I was interrupted by my mother knocking on the door and trying to open it.

"Y/n? Are you awake? Who are you talking to? Open up, I need to tell you something," she said from behind the door.

I froze in place, and Chris opened his eyes, looking at me. He was about to say something, but I quickly covered his mouth with my hand.

"Just give me a moment, Mom, I just woke up!" I shouted, pointing to my wardrobe for Chris to hide in.

Chris looked at me, frightened, shaking his head. I shot him a threatening look, pointing to the wardrobe again.

He sighed before getting up to hide in my wardrobe. Meanwhile, I approached the door and waited for him to be well hidden before opening the door for my mother.

"Who were you talking to?" she asked, scanning my room.

"Julia!" I said, clearing my throat and running my hand through my hair. "Um, she asked me to come see her today," I added, trying to seem less suspicious.

My mother looked at me strangely before rolling her eyes. "Listen, y/n, I think we need to have a discussion, you and I," she said.

"Um, about what?" I said, not really sure what she was referring to.

"About yesterday," she replied, and I realized at that moment that I had completely forgotten about that incident in the panic.

"Oh... um, yeah, I don't know, can we talk about it later?" I said, more calmly this time.

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way, y/n, that wasn't my intention," she admitted, and I widened my eyes in surprise at what she had just said.

"Your father and I have always put pressure on you, that's true, and we clearly haven't been the best with you," she added.

"But you're wrong about one thing; you said that I hated the person you truly were, and that's not true, my angel. I don't hate you, far from it, and it breaks my heart that you think that way," she said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I think I just wanted to protect you from everything I couldn't protect myself from, and I was wrong. I realize now, seeing what it did to you," she continued, sitting down on my bed.

"You know, your father and I had you very young, too young even, and it was difficult for us. We just wanted to give you a better life, but I think we were scared seeing you grow up and make the same mistakes we did in some places," she said, and I also felt tears welling up.

"And I realize how dumb it was, y/n, you're not the baby you were anymore, and it breaks my heart to see you grow up, but I think we need to stop overprotecting you, your father and I, because what you need most right now is freedom," she said, hugging me.

"We love you more than anything, know that. Your father may be tougher than me in some aspects, but I'll make him understand that all of this needs to stop. You're becoming a real woman, and we can't interfere with your choices anymore like when you were just a little girl," she added, and I left her arms, looking at her with a smile.

"Thank you, Mom," I said, wiping away my tears.

"And I don't want you to hide anything from me. I want to be there for you, I want to make amends and show you that I'm sorry," she added, taking my hands.

"Okay, no more secrets then," I said, chuckling through my tears.

"No more secrets," she said, smiling.

"And I'm sorry about your boyfriend at the time, Christian, right?" she asked.

"Christopher," I corrected her, laughing.

"Yes, that's it. I'm sorry, but you know your father and what he thinks of boyfriends. However, if you happen to cross paths with a new man, you can tell me. I won't tell your father; it'll be our little secret," she said playfully, pinching my cheek, and I chuckled.

"Actually, there's no new man. It's still Chris," I confessed, smiling.

"So, you really loved him?" she asked, caressing my cheek, and I nodded.

"I'm sorry if what we did ruined your relationship, honey," she said sincerely.

"Well, actually... okay, we said no more secrets, right?" I asked.

She nodded, looking a bit confused.

"Promise me you won't get mad?" I asked, looking her in the eyes.

"Um, okay, but where are you going with this?" she said, puzzled.

I bit my lip for a moment to suppress a laugh.

"He's in the wardrobe," I said, glancing at the wardrobe.

"You've got to be kidding me," she said, rolling her eyes, and I laughed, nodding.

"Y/n!" she exclaimed, rushing to the wardrobe to open it and coming face to face with Chris.

"Hey, you said you wouldn't get mad!" I pointed out, walking towards them, and burst into laughter at Chris's red face.

"Um, h-hello, ma'am," he stammered, clearing his throat.

My mom turned to me, trying to keep a serious face, but she couldn't help but laugh herself.

"You can come out, I won't bite," she said to Chris, who hadn't moved an inch.

He stepped out of the wardrobe, and my mom headed towards the door of my room before turning back to us.

"I'll make breakfast, Chris. I suggest you put on a shirt and join us for a meal this morning if you want to make a better impression than that!" she said before leaving the room.

I turned to Chris and burst into laughter again.

"Why did you do that, y/n, you're completely crazy!" he said, approaching me before grabbing me around the waist and lifting me up, laughing.

When he set me down, we looked each other in the eyes, our laughter slowly fading.

"You should've seen the look on your face," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and chuckling.

"Shut up, you traitor," he said before kissing me.

Instinctively, I took a step back when it happened.

"Sorry," he immediately apologized.

"Um, we should go downstairs, I'm starving," I said, laughing nervously.

"Yeah, you go ahead, I'll join you in a moment," he said, looking a bit embarrassed.

I nodded, biting my lip, before leaving my room.

What does that mean?

I mean, things seem to be getting better; Mom knows, she won't tell Dad.

And Chris and I, we've found each other again; everything is supposed to be better now that we're friends.

But why is it so hard to just be friends with him?

I felt bad for stepping back when he kissed me, but even though things are getting better, the problem remains the same.

At the end of the vacation, I go back to the other side of the country to resume my studies.

And the thing is, I can't just drop everything for a guy; it would be so irresponsible, and, truth be told, I quite like my life over there.

But if I'm there, it'll be without him, and being without him hurts.

And it's even more frustrating now that I know he and I have a chance again.

So what do I do? Stay in Boston with Chris and live the story we've always dreamed of having? Or go back to the other side of the country, continue the studies that I'm so passionate about, and reclaim my life away from all my problems?

Oh my God, I'm probably going to have to make the hardest choice of my life, and I only have a few weeks left to decide. How am I going to do it??

"Pancakes?" my mom asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Um, yeah, thanks," I replied, grabbing a pancake and putting it on my plate.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, noticing how lost I looked.

I was about to answer when Chris joined us at the table.

"It smells really good, Mrs. y/l/n," he said, all smiles.

"And you haven't even tasted it yet!" she chuckled.

The rest of the meal, I was there without being there.

I watched Chris and my mom getting to know each other, and it seemed to be going well, but I couldn't stop thinking about what I was going to have to do.

On one hand, I could stay with the man I love, and who knows, maybe we'll spend our lives together; maybe he's the one, at least that's what I hope.

On the other hand, I continue my studies, and with the grades I have, there's a good chance I could push my degrees further and eventually have the job of my dreams.

The thing is, I can't have both at the same time, and I feel like by choosing just one of the two, I'll be sad to miss out on the opportunity that the other one represents.

This moment should have been enjoyable; I should have been enjoying it with my mom and the boy I love, and instead, I'm questioning my whole life.

"Well, it looks like everyone's finished eating," my mom said, once again pulling me out of my thoughts.

"That was really delicious, Mrs. y/l/n," Chris said, smiling.

"Oh, you know at this point you can call me by my name since i'm your mother-in-law ," she said, laughing.

Chris turned to look at me.

"Oh um," I said hesitantly, looking at Chris and then at my mom.

"We're not—" I started timidly.

"We're just friends for now," Chris continued, seeing that I was struggling, and I smiled at him timidly.

"Oh, sorry, I thought—anyway, I don't know what you two have planned for today, but your dad will be back soon, y/n, so I suggest you don't linger around too long," she said, smiling.

"Yeah, I'll head back before my parents wonder where I've been," Chris said, smiling back.

"I'll walk you out if you want; I could use a little walk," I said to him.

He smiled at me before getting up, and we went upstairs to shower separately.

Once out of the shower and dressed, I went back to my room to join Chris and put on my shoes.

"Are you okay, y/n?" Chris asked, watching me sit on the edge of the bed to put on my shoes.

I looked up at him without saying anything for a moment; I didn't know if I should tell him or not.

"Um yeah, yeah, I'm fine, why?" I said, trying to play it cool so he wouldn't worry.

"I don't know, you seem a bit distant since I kissed you earlier," he replied simply.

I looked at him, mouth slightly open, trying to find something to say, but nothing came out.

"I'm sorry for kissing you earlier, it really didn't mean anything. I know we're supposed to be friends now, but I didn't think and I promise it won't happen again," he added, seeing that I wasn't responding.

"No worries, it was just a meaningless kiss; I was just thrown off by the conversation I had with mom earlier, that's all," I lied, smiling.

"Are you sure?" he asked me.

"Yeah," I said with a weak smile.

"Anyway, I've put on my shoes; we can go now!" I said, getting up, and he followed.

The road to his house was quite silent, to be honest; neither of us really dared to speak. I think we simply didn't know what to think about this whole situation.

Once we arrived at his place, we stopped, and he turned to me.

"Listen, y/n, I lied; it wasn't just a kiss that meant nothing. It was more than I could handle; I really want to be with you, and I don't want to rush you, far from it, believe me, but look, I feel like things are getting better, and I want us to try. I need—" he began to ramble before I cut him off and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt to kiss him.

For me too, it was more than I could handle.

And screw it, maybe for once I can put my problems off until tomorrow and just enjoy the present moment.

I have absolutely no idea what to choose for my future, but what I do know is that right now, I'm dying to be with him.

I didn't want to hold back anymore; this was probably one of the last times I had the chance to do this, so I might as well go all in.

Chris took a step back, completely lost, as he looked at me.

And without saying a word, he reconnected our lips in an even more passionate kiss.

"Friends, huh?" he said with a smirk, pulling away from our lips for a few seconds.

"Shut up," I told him, crashing my lips back onto his, hungry for more.

My hands were tangled in his hair, and his were pressed against my hips.

Our bodies were pressed against each other, and our kiss only deepened, becoming even hotter.

"We should go in," he said, separating our lips and licking his own.

"Mhm," I said, nodding my head, too hungry to respond to him.

We entered the house, lucky that his parents weren't there, but his brothers were.

We briefly passed Nick in the kitchen.

"Oh, hi y/n, I didn't expect to see you here. What are you doing?" he asked, smiling.

Before I had the chance to respond, Chris started talking, "She's here to help me with something I've been meaning to do for weeks. We don't have time to chat. Bye," he said quickly, grabbing my wrist and leading me to his room, leaving Nick looking confused.

I chuckled when he opened the door, and he grabbed me by the waist to kiss me again before closing the door behind us.

He led us straight to his bed; we didn't need to talk to understand each other. From the moment we kissed outside his house, we both knew where it was going to lead us.

But this time, I felt more confident. I wanted to take control, although I didn't really know where this sudden change was coming from.

I parted our lips to swiftly remove his t-shirt, and before he could say anything, I went for the zipper of his pants.

"What are you doing, y/n?" he said, smiling against my lips when I started to remove his pants.

"Shhh," I said, pushing him onto the bed once he was only in his boxers.

He looked up at me, initially confused, but then his gaze turned more sensual.

I couldn't help but smile, seeing him sitting there before me, looking at me with such a submissive gaze. It was something different, but I liked it.

He placed his hands on my hips, attempting to remove my pants before I stepped back, shaking my head.

"Keep your hands to yourself," I said with a smirk.

"Come on, y/n, don't play like that," he said, running his tongue over his teeth.

"Play like what?" I asked, removing my pants while keeping eye contact with him.

He didn't respond and simply looked at me, mouth agape.

"What's wrong, baby, cat got your tongue?" I teased, removing my top, leaving me only in a bra and panties in front of him.

"Babe don’t—" he said, trying to sit up, but before he could, I pressed down on his shoulders with my hands, pushing him back onto the mattress.

"Be a good boy and stay still for me," I whispered in his ear.

He looked at me with a surprised expression in his eyes, swallowing hard. He seemed stressed but still incredibly excited by what I was doing.

We had rarely had the opportunity to discuss it, but I knew that Chris had mostly been dominant in bed, whether with me or with other girls.

I knelt in front of him, running my hand along the elastic of his boxers to remove them, and he helped by lifting his hips.

I could feel his breathing quicken and the tension build as I began to place kisses along his lower abdomen and thighs without touching the place where he needed me most.

"Y/n, please," he pleaded weakly, unable to bear being teased any longer.

I smiled against his skin before lifting my eyes to look at him while taking him into my mouth.

I could feel his entire body shudder at the sensation of my tongue on him. He threw his head back, and I continued to suck him, applying pressure with my tongue.

The only sounds in the room at that moment were the sighs and moans of pleasure coming from Chris's mouth.

He tried to run his hand through my hair, but I grabbed it and pressed it against the mattress.

"Oh god—fuck, baby, I'm not gonna last long," he groaned, signaling for me to stop, but I continued.

I even picked up the pace, running my free hand over his chest.

His breathing quickened, and his muscles tensed. I could feel his cock twitching in my mouth.

"Mmph, y/n," he groaned one last time before releasing everything into my mouth.

I swallowed before lifting my head to look at him. He had a completely dazed expression, but I wanted more.

So, I straddled him and kissed him again, which seemed to catch him by surprise judging by the way he jumped slightly when I did so.

His hands gripped my waist as I started rolling my hips against his.

"Fuck—" he began to say before I cut him off by shushing him.

"You wouldn't want your brothers to hear how good I'm making you feel, hmm?" I whispered to him before redirecting my lips to his neck this time.

"I'll fuck you so hard if you keep playing like this with me princess," he said through gritted teeth before I sat up and pushed him back so he was lying beneath me.

"Odd, because you don't really seem to have the upper hand right now, sweetheart," I replied with a smirk before removing my bra.

He tried to raise his hands to touch my chest, but I grabbed them and pinned them above his head, chuckling, before trailing kisses across his face.

"You're going to make me cum again without even touching me if you keep this up, y/n," he said, sounding almost frustrated.

"Maybe if you act like a good boy, I'll touch you," I said, resuming my movements against his erection.

"Please, I need you so bad," he groaned, frustrated that I wasn't giving him more.

"Say you'll be a good boy," I ordered him before kissing his neck again.

"Please, I'll be a good boy, just fuck me," he pleaded as I quickened my movements.

"So impatient," I chuckled before shifting to remove my panties.

"Sit against the headboard," I commanded, and he obeyed without hesitation.

I then straddled him, placing my hands on his shoulders.

He placed his hands on my waist, but I removed them immediately, observing his confused expression. "You'll touch me when I give you permission. Put your hands behind your back," I said with a smirk.

"But—" he began before I cut him off, placing my finger on his lips.

"You said you'd behave like a good boy," I reminded him, whispering in his ear as I rolled my hips against his once more.

He simply moaned, throwing his head back before doing as I had asked and placing his hands behind his back.

"Good boy," I praised him with a smile before seizing his member and aligning it with my entrance.

I was already extremely wet from everything we had done before, so it wasn't very difficult for me to accommodate him.

Although it took me a while to adjust to his size once he was fully buried inside me.

I let out a small moan, dropping my head into the crook of his neck at the stretching sensation it gave me.

"Is it too much for you, baby?" he said mischievously to provoke me, with a smirk on his face.

I raised my head to look him in the eyes, biting my lip, and started riding him. "No, but if you keep this up, it'll soon be too much for you, baby" I threatened, gripping his chin between my fingers.

Something changed from that moment on. Chris let himself go a little more, and the more I bounced on him, the louder he got. We reached a point where even his neighbors could have heard.

"Chris, you really need to stop making so much noise; we're going to get caught, fuck," I said, almost unable to hold back my moans as I felt the knot slowly forming in my lower abdomen.

"I—god—I can't," he said, rolling his eyes before letting his head fall back.

"You look so good just like that, all for me my sweet boy," I confessed, placing one of my hands on my breast.

"I'm gonna cum," he said, lifting his gaze to meet mine.

"Hold it back for me baby," I told him, speeding up the movement.

"Fuck," he said, groaning and watching my breasts bounce in front of his eyes.

"You’re such a good boy look at you," I complimented him, running my hand over his cheek.

"Let me touch you, please, y/n," he begged, almost desperate at this point.

"Go ahead," I simply said, smiling, and the next moment his hands came to grasp my breasts, my waist, my hips.

"You're so perfect for me," he said this time, pushing me to the edge, and I could feel that he himself was struggling to hold back given how he gripped my hips and moaned.

His moans only grew louder at this point.

"Chris, I’m so close, but you really need to make less noise," I said, almost breathless.

Nothing was working anymore; he was completely lost in his own pleasure. His hips had started moving back and forth to meet mine.

I felt like I was losing my mind, and I think he felt that too. In a moment of lucidity, I grabbed the first thing I could find on the bed and shoved it into his mouth to muffle his moans.

It happened to be my panties, the missing piece for him to lose control and come inside me.

And I didn't miss a beat; within seconds, I reached my orgasm right above him.

"Holy shit," Chris exclaimed, pulling my panties out of his mouth.

I let my head fall against his shoulder, saying, "I can't feel my legs anymore," and he chuckled at my remark.

We stayed there for a moment, catching our breath, both of us covered in sweat as if we had just run a fucking marathon.

"If I could marry you right now, I would," he said, caressing the sides of my body, making me shiver.

"Let me at least take a shower first," I said, chuckling.

I was about to get up when he grabbed my hips to stop me. "Nope, stay here."

I looked at him with a small smile, and he kissed me.

And right at that moment, it hit me again.

I was probably going to have to leave the other side of the country in a few weeks...

"Are you okay?" he asked, seeing my expression suddenly change.

It took everything in me to keep my tears from falling, but I wasn't ready to talk to him about it. I was afraid he would only make my decision more complicated once I did.

"Yeah, everything's fine. What could go wrong? Look at us," I said, my eyes shimmering.

What could go wrong? Look at us. Two lost souls hoping that one day the stars will align so they can find each other again.

Maybe inevitably, our two hearts were meant to never find peace together.

Taglist: @chrisloyalgf @christopherscamopants @blahbel668 @thematthewlover @mattsturnioloarchive @carolinalikesthings @bernardsgf @whicked-hazlatwhore @hearts4chris @mattybsbitch @sara2233445

[trivialbob]

Yesterday I had a great time in Wisconsin.

Early in the morning I cooked a traditional eggs and sausage breakfast. When I finished eating I walked around the campground, talking to people. I crossed paths with a lot of nice people this weekend. During my walk a group of campers were cooking eggs and bacon outside. Despite having just eaten a similar big breakfast the smell made me feel hungry again.

Eventually I drove to town to re-fill the propane tank. When I buy propane at home I pay a cashier first then show an attendant my receipt before he fills the tank. At the place in Wisconsin the owner (I think he was) came outside. I asked if I should pay before he filled or while he filled the tank.

"You can pay now if you want. Or you can talk with me while I fill the tank," he replied.

Being who I am, asked all sorts of questions about his experiences filling propane tanks while he filled mine. He seemed to genuinely appreciate my interest. There were no horror stories. He explained how he inspects the tank's date of manufacture and makes sure it's safe to re-fill. Back home I've never noticed the attendant pay much attention to the tank, nor is he into small talk either.

After that I went down the road to the place our friends own for a bloody Mary and a small pizza. I like the garnish in a separate glass and the chaser. I looked over several side-by-sides in the parking lot, including one flying two large American flags (the pictures at the top).

After lunch I returned to the campground -- and took a two hour nap. Why not. It felt like vacation. When I got up I met more people at the campground. It's been only two weekends but I'm very happy Sheila chose this place for a year.

Then I went on a bicycle ride. Because I was on some 45-55 MPH roads I wore a hi-viz jacket and had all my blinky lights going.

Almost everyone who drove towards me waived. Drivers who passed me gave wide berth. Two farmers on tractors subtly waved and nodded their heads my way. That made me smile. Approaching an Amish buggy, I figured the woman and boy in it might not appreciate my bright, flashy garb and blinking lights. But they smiled brightly and waved. That really made me grin.

In the evening I went to a different small town, the one I had been to the previous night. I was keen on having a beer at the bar that shares my first name.

First picture below is a sign on the way into town that I found amusing. Second picture is inside Mr. Bob's bar.

I should have taken a selfie, to show EXACTLY how many customers were in there at 6 PM. Later someone told me Mr. Bob's doesn't get busy until late at night. The bartender was a decent woman, but I felt she looked at me like "Why the heck are you here so early? Now I have to stop what I'm doing to serve you." It's not like I woke up the owner to serve me beer at 7 AM. I should have asked why they don't simply unlock the doors at 10 PM.

Since there was no one to chat with at Mr. Bob's I went around the corner to a taproom I had on my list of places to try. I was not disappointed.

There are 20 beers on tap. Not one of them has Light in the name. I chose a flight of four.

Next summer, sometime when Sheila drives, I plan to order the Dirty Knapp. It's served in that large, Swiss-cheese-looking circle below. For $48 you get a four-ounce beer from each of the 20 taps. That's five pints. I'm not a college student any more, but I think I can pull it off if I skip lunch and dinner :)

At the bar I sat with two other guys my age and a younger woman. The bartender was funny. The five of us laughed pretty hard while telling stories.

Because I had to drive back in the dark, along deer-infested county roads, I didn't drink any more beer after that flight. I was having so much fun talking to the others I didn't want to leave. So I tried some non-alcoholic drinks. I've seen hop water before, just never tried it. I liked it. It reminded me of some odd flavor of La Croix. I also had a non-alcoholic IPA. It tasted like real beer without making me buzzed.

To complete my night, some neighbors invited me to join them and their friends around a camp fire. More laughter and stories.

Fun times. I'm looking forward to going back a few more times before we have to winterize the trailer.

[mioyeo]

Watch your back: chapter 6

Once you don’t value what you have someone else learns how to take care of what used to be yours

Synopsis : 8 men supposed to give her all the love they promised end up leaving her behind without a valid reason

Pairing : girlfriend Reader x PolyAteez !

Warnings : this chapter contains mentions of, arguing with San , yelling , San blaming reader , lots of crying , Rin being exposed , assault , miscarriage , panic attacks , fake tears , etc Please reminding me if I forgot something

Tag list : @legbouk , @scarfac3 , @m4rsluv , @hcyaa , @jackinmyarea , @layzfeelit , @loverlele, @mulletjoonsupremacy , @veneziamadness , @belle643 , @gugggu6gvai , @atinytinaa , @voidcupidz , @atinyreads , @baguette-atiny , @parkthothwa8 , @hwadump , @owjohny , @miaatiny , @honeyymon

This series is going to be posted together with the Psychiatric series, which means one chapter after another

I decided that this series will be posted every Wednesdays from now on but I may also post chapters again even if it’s not on these days

Word count: 2,2k

" No , She's sleeping peacefully "

The boy looked at the girl that rested her cheek on his chest while clutching onto his shirt

' is she sleeping fine , did they give her the sleeping meds like yesterday ? '

" Yeah they had her take the pills before putting her to sleep so I've been laying down with her for a while now "

San brushed her hair back and he caressed her face softly while Seonghwa talked on the phone with him

' When are you coming home Rin has been impatiently waiting for you to return'

" You know that whenever we leave she's going to cry again and have these panic attacks "

He sighed and shook his head

' She just went trough so much San you need to understand that '

" At first I always felt bad but now it's getting too overwhelming , I can't barely leave without her starting to wail my name like a kid "

' Maybe she feels lonely that's all '

" I know , but this constant crying is tiring me out , I don't always want to hear cry whenever I walk in "

She stirred and clung tightly onto his shirt making him sigh

' I don't know why she does that, but try not to make her feel bad'

" Seonghwa, I'm literally the only one she's always shedding tears with at this point I don't think it's normal anymore "

He heard Seonghwa sigh on the other line, he himself couldn't understand what was bothering Y/n so much lately, the first week of her being at the hospital were calm since she pretty much just didn't talk or just slept in their embrace

" I need to leave in a minute anyways so I can take a bath and relax at home, look this bed is uncomfortable and I'm tired of being here you know how much I despise hospitals "

' Just stay a little more '

" No Seonghwa, I'm tired I have a life too I can't just stay the whole day here and doing nothing other than cuddle her "

Y/n opened her eyes slowly and her lips already started wobbling

" I need to hang up she woke up and it started again , yes you know what I mean bye "

He ended the call and looked at her as she sobbed quietly

" A-Am I holding you back from living your life right now San ? am I that much of a bother?"

She looked up to him with her teary eyes as he wiped the tears away and kissed her nose

" No baby listen-"

" I-I don't want you to always complain whenever you're here "

" What do you even mean "

He looked up at her with his brows furrowed as he detached himself off her so he could put on his shoes and jacket

" I hear how you always complain to the others about me whenever you stay here for some hours , I never asked you to do this other than stay with me especially because it was our child that I lost recently "

She wiped her face and sniffed as he looked at her with a scowl

" And you're only telling me that now ?! "

He yelled in disbelief making her flinch

" I didn't tell you that I missed my period because you didn't care and just brushed it off the last time we had a pregnancy scare "

The boy groaned and approached her

" Do you know what you just did ?! You prevented me from protecting my first child , my first joy and happiness as a father don't you feel ashamed of keeping something like this away from me ? all of us "

" This is not my fault that I got assaulted having it cost my child's life! "

" If you had told me we'd make sure you were doing fine always! "

He raised his voice as she sat there with tears unable to make them stop

" Do you know how much it hurts to know I lost my first child and everything a first time dad could do because you were so stupid to not close the door properly ? "

" I never left the damn door open! I don't know what they told you but it's not true "

" You're trying to deny it now ? , if it weren't for Rin that cared so much about you even though you're always mean to her and call ambulance you'd be dead from how beaten up you were "

She chuckled and starred at him in disbelief

" So it was her that fabricated all this madness of stories so she could look good "

" Don't try to blame her when she literally saved your ungrateful ass ! "

San approached Y/n and grabbed her shoulders forcefully as he shook her

" Why should I be grateful for someone who did this in the first place! She's the one you should blame for our child not making it "

She cried out pushing his hands away from her

" Your princess and her friends did this to me , you should be glad that I didn't sue her for attempted murder and tort ! "

" Stop blaming others for your own actions , you left the door open that's why someone came in and hurt you "

" Are you acting dumb or are you genuinely dumb Choi San ? , why would someone assault me for leaving my own house door open if that where the case ? This is the most unrealistic thing someone could ever tell "

" You know what's strange ?, the way you always despised her since day one now it makes sense you're just trying to get us to break up with her "

He chuckled and brushed his hair back as he looked at her in disappointment

" Why would I get along with someone that has been doing nothing but hurt me this whole time? , I've endured so much already I just can't hurt my discomfort anymore "

" It's not our fault we fell in love with her and you know that , that's just how humans are "

" I've been through thick and thin already and I think it's time for a change , I've had so many people willing to give me their love but I've always been so blindly stupid to realize that how you guys treat me is just not how someone should be treated in a relationship "

She slowly stood up and clutched her hospital gown while walking towards San who looked at her speechless

" I won't tell myself anymore that I am the issue every single day I wake up , I'm tired of shedding tears and feeling insecure about myself even though I shouldn't "

With tears she tried pushing him out towards the door but he grabbed her arms and made her look at him

" Do you think I'll just let you leave?"

" Stop trying to gaslight me with your sweet talk San , you know how much I don't like that now go just like how you wanted to a few minutes ago since I wail to much like a baby "

" You can't just drop these bomb news on me and expect me to leave "

" I don't care I'm to fed up right now to even make you believe me "

" How will I believe something without proof ? What do you want me to do ?! Go and beat up Rin until she tells something she didn't do ? "

The girl teared up and pushed him away from her once again

" I just told you that in despair for you just to believe me once in a life time maybe watch out because of how fake she is San ! "

" Stop talking about her like that , she's the most sweetest person I have ever seen and the most fragile one too she'd never be capable of beating someone like this "

He sighed loudly and looked around trying to calm himself, since he didn't want to yell again

" She had her two friends beat me up as she laughed and filme-"

" Enough ! Y/n stop making up things you don't even sound like you know what you're talking about at this point you're doing to much ,j-just stop ok ? I get it you don't like her the tiniest bit but just don't blame her for your mistakes , you're just saying anything at this point, I wish I could believe you baby I do but I can't seem to wrap my head around this "

" Fuck San what do you mean my mistakes?! Is me losing our baby my mistake? "

" I can't stand looking at you right now, I'll tell Seonghwa to come and stay with you "

San stared at her apologetic and left the room letting her cry to yourself

The girl sighed as the violent sharp pain rushed through her chest as she cried making her feel nauseous and hold on onto the bed rails

She was so tired of the whole situation , it made her question if she was really the one at fault , because if she didn't smash Rin's face into that damn  cake she'd be at home now

Watching first time mom vlogs and secretly buying neutral baby clothes while building up the courage to tell San that she was expecting

But now everything was gone  because she was stupid enough to let them provoke her

———

" How about we have dinner outside today "

Rin back hugged Jongho who was currently washing the dishes because Seonghwa went out to stay with Y/n

" We'll have to wait for San to come back home , and speaking of him it's been like three hours since  he had to be home already "

" Maybe he needs sometime for himself? I mean he's been having it hard because of what happened to Y/n lately "

He sighed and nodded before drying his hands and smiling at her

" I'm thankful that you arrived home and called the ambulance on time "

The girl smiled nervously gulping

" I-I'm glad I found her , I was so scared  "

" Everything is ok now don't worry "

She felt him hug and rub her back , it was to much she honestly cursed herself for even telling Yeongja and Iseul to deal with her

What would happen if the boys found out ? She be definitely done for

Her whole dream of being a model would literally shatter if Y/n decides to sue her , the boys could break up with her or kick her out

“ Ay is everything alright ? Ive been talking to you for about five minutes ”

Jongho looked at her concerned

“ A-Ah I’m sorry I’ve been thinking about Y/n and how much pain she must be in no- ”

The front door suddenly opened revealing a distressed San

“ Rin ! ”

He removed his shoes and stormed towards the kitchen to look inside

“ W-Why would you do that to her ? ”

“ What are you talking about San ”

Jongho asked confused as San approached them shaking

“ Rin and her friends assaulted Y/n making her loose our child that day ”

The younger immediately let go of her and frowned

“ San do you know how big this accusation is ?”

“ I just met Iseul outside her workplace and she told me , I just don’t understand why you would do that ”

Rin bit her inner cheek as the other guys started crowding the kitchen looking just as confused as Jongho was when San walked in

“ What is going on here , why is he yelling? ”

Mingi went closer and looked at San that was shedding tears of disappointment

“ Rin and her friends where the ones that did that to Y/n , because of whatever happened between them that day I lost my first child and even blamed it on her for allegedly leaving the door open even though she didn’t ! ”

“ Rin is what San is saying the truth? ”

They all stared at her waiting for an answer

“ I just got mad because she said that you will never love me like you love her , a-and I didn’t hit her it was Yeongja and Iseul who said they where going to deal with her for being rude , I never wanted them to do it ! I never wanted this to happen”

She stuttered and teared up

“ Still you should’ve told us and not lie ”

San hissed and left towards his room and slammed the door shut

“ What you did was really dangerous , what if she died that day from how intense you guys beat her to the point she also had a miscarriage? I’m so disappointed in you Rin ”

“ Yeosang I’m sorry ”

Wooyoung and Yunho left the room without saying anything further other than saying how disappointed they were

“ You’re glad Hongjoong and Seonghwa are not here because they would be so mad at you ”

Everyone else left leaving Mingi with the crying girl that didn’t even look at him

“ Look , it will take a while for San to even look at you but I’ll talk to the boys so they won’t tell Hwa and Joong about this , promise you will apologize to Y/n as soon as she’s discharged ”

“ I-I promise , do they hate me ? ”

“ No don’t worry about it I got this ”

He sighed and left , making Rin stop crying and muffle her screaming

“ Wait until I see you tomorrow Iseul "

Rin scoffed and stormed into her room angrily

Now that San was mad at her imagine how Seonghwa would react she didn’t even want to think about Hongjoong’s reaction

They would fry her alive if they found out

She frustratedly searched for her pack of cigarettes and opened her window after locking her door

“ I’ll just need to make Y/n shut up I can’t afford the agency bawling out on me ”

Blowing off the smoke in the air she tapped her feet angrily

One thing she was sure was that she never expected it to come to light this fast or how fast her friend would rat her out

[criolla-star]

Overwhelmed (Vinny x Garmadon)Part 50

(I suggest you check out parts 1-49 if you haven't already)

It was the next morning and by that it was 6:27am and Vinny woke up, he didn't have work for 3 more hours but he wanted to go for a run before work and get up early in general. He also wanted to make his own coffee since he prefers black coffee rather than coffee with sugar or milk he also wanted to see if Zane was awake so he could check out his stab wounds. The cameraman yawned as he woke up and looked beside him thinking he was going to find Garmadon, "Oh right...he isn't here..." Vinny thought as he got up and stretched.

Vinny looked through his clothes and pulled out his signature white shirt, blue jacket and dark green trackpants. He went to the bathroom quickly and washed his face to refresh himself and wake up properly but ended up standing there with his hand under the warm water for 5 minutes. Once he finished he got dressed and grabbed some bandages and stuffed them into his dark green duffle bag. He also put a water bottle and he dagger in there. The cameraman left his bag in there for the time being and went out to the kitchen.

No one was in there like the past few days probably because he was up early, Vinny began making black coffee with three shots of expresso, because I've confirmed he's a coffee addict. The cameraman also made a shower like the one from yesterday, he made two of them, one for now and one for his so called 'work' he had today, and maybe to give to Rida? After that Vinny decided to see if Zane was awake he didn't want to go straight to his room and decided to go into the armoury, it took him a moment to realise how the elevator worked but he learned eventually and went down.

Vinny went down and looked around, he saw Zane at the computers while Pixal was working on some mechs. "Umm...hey you two?" The cameraman said awkwardly catching the two nindroids attention. "What can we do for you?" Pixal asked as she looked up from the mech she and her mini Pix's were melding. "Umm...well I need a few wounds checked out..." Vinny said awkwardly as he looked away. The two nindroids looked at the cameraman curiously, "What types of wounds? And where?" The ice ninja asked as he devoted all his attention to Vinny.

"Uhh...stab wounds...on my hand and foot..." Vinny muttered out just loud enough for the two to hear. "Stab wounds...? From where? It couldn't have been an accident if it's on your hand and foot" Pixal spoke as she jumped off the mech she was working on. "C-can you two just not ask questions and check it...please?" The cameraman asked desperately not wanting to answer, he knew very well he couldn't fool the two nindroids unlike the rest of the ninja they could tell emotion.

"Very well" Zane spoke out as he signalled for Vinny to sit on a chair which he did along with Pixal and Zane. The ice ninja held out his hand in a way to signal Vinny to show it. The cameraman did show it and it caused the two nindroids to be a little surprised, the two also looked at he burns on Vinnys' arms. "How long have you had this?" Pixal asked curious as she observed the wound, it was really deep, "A few days..." Vinny replied as he avoided eye contact. "This stab wound is recent but the burn isn't it was from Garmadon, am I correct?" The ice ninja asked earning a nod from the cameraman as he felt sadness thinking about the oni.

Zane didn't stay anything but instead grabbed a medical box and pulled out some disinfectant wipes, "The chance of it getting infected is high...and you have one on your foot as well, but you didn't tell anyone? You're lucky it hasn't been infected yet and it's good you decided to come here. You also need stitches" Zane spoke as he started to disinfect the wound cause Vinny to wince in pain. "May I take a look at your foot? You might need stitches on that as well" She spoke softly earning a nod from the cameraman as he tried his best to ignore the pain.

Pixal took a close look and grimaced slightly, "May I ask who stabbed you...?" She asked, causing Vinny to immediately shake his head, "I will admit I was stabbed but I won't say by who and if you think it was Garmadon it wasn't" The cameraman spoke causing the two nindroids to sigh as the both disinfected the wounds. "You are fine with us giving you stitches, it'll heal faster" The ice ninja spoke in his calm voice. The cameraman nodded as he sighed out tiredly, he had his coffee mug with him and drank from it.

Zane grabbed the appropriate needle for stitching human and gave one to Pixal. The two ever so carefully stitched Vinny up, the cameraman would let out the occasional wince of pain, Pixal insisted on Vinny using numbing cream but he denied. After a while the two were done and the cameraman let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks you two...can you not tell anyone about this though?" Vinny asked as he looked at his hand and pulled two fingerless gloves from his pocket and put them on. "We'll try" Zane and Pixal said in unison.

Vinny thanked them once more before going back up and putting socks and shoes on. The cameraman came back out and saw Garmadon and Wu talking, Vinny heard his name be mentioned due to the two not noticing him. The cameraman knew Garmadon probably was talking about what happened. "Morning...I'm gonna go to work now..." Vinny mumbled as he walked past Garmadon and Wu pretending he didn't here himself be mentioned.

Garmadon looked at Vinny worriedly as he walked away, he knew Vinny wasn't going to work and knew Vinny had work at 9:30 and right now it was 8:30 am. The cameraman wanted to go for a run to clear his mind and went down the elevator and began jogging with his duffle bag across his chest like a handbag. As Vinny made it down before entering the city a voice called him in an alley, he followed it keeping his hand on his dagger in his pocket.

Suddenly Vinnys' arm was grabbed but Vinny was faster and managed to get the person into a chokehold holding the dagger at their throat. "Holding the dagger I gave you against my throat?" The person said, before the cameraman realised it was Rida, "S-shit sorry, I thought you were someone else" Vinny apologised as he let Rida go, "No it's my fault I do admit mysteriously calling your name from an alley and grabbing you isn't the nicest greeting" The orange eyed man said softly, this made Vinny chuckle softly.

"Going for a run? Can I join?" Rida asked earning a nod from Vinny. The two began jogging, but Vinny still couldn't shake the feeling that Rida was hiding something.

(So I hope you enjoy this I've managed to upload 2 parts in less than a week and that makes me happy hope you enjoy Vinny angst)

[gontagokuhara]

I feel so paranoid on my pointy objects reread™ especially after the rewrite storm because I'll see something like 5 chapters after the rewrite and think "I SWEAR this is different baz freaking writes did u change this OR LIKE AM I JUST BLIND what is happening" to be fair it is 4 am for me and I need sleep (I graduated on the 2nd and I woke up yesterday at 6 P.M. I was SO tired)

Anyway this was only started bc I got to the fabled komaeda call and it said "as if someone hit him" and I'm like "SOME-ONE??" FYMMm I THOUGHT THAT SAID "SOME-THING"??? (I literally feel like this is my ultimate karma knowing how much I go back and edit my fics when I'm bored LMFAOO) Anydots its freak brain hours so please forgive me if this comes off as a wee bit psychotic ❤️ I did finish the 17k behemoth chapter and it literally made me crazy and want to reread the whole thing again I loved it!!!💀 okay bye gn zzzzzz

what started as a silly little fanfiction miming my blorbos around as little demigod guys has somehow morphed into a 225k+ word (likely nearer 300k by the end 😭), conspiracy-theory-filled, saw trap of an adventure for those most into it (myself included). talk about an interactive experience!

(long so everything else below <3)

but seriously first of all CONGRATS ON GRADUATING!?!?!? COLLEGE GRAD GANG

second of all LOL there haven't been any major changes since the big rewrite storm (which was basically a year ago now? ZOINKS) but i do know what ur referring to with that nagito line shift. his previous behavior in his office tearing his hair out + the line shift was meant to convey a little clearer that when he's stressed/upset/terrified he hurts himself (unintentionally, like with the hair example) (but also intentionally, in him hitting himself over the phone in an attempt to calm down/focus enough to plead with the kids). in essence i fucked him up a little more because i think about him So much and i needed to slip more of my characterization of him in bc Im insane <3

I LOVE U LMFAO UR SO REAL ABOUT SILLY HOURS im sure u already did but GO TAKE A NAP!!!! and take breaks during ur reread i wrote the damn thing and reread it constantly (always editing typos i find i am........) and it still takes me days to work through. this ask was perfect timing bc my body's been malfunctioning a little bit so ive been pushing pointy objects time to the wayside (also for better reasons too i've been not writing but wrist pain got me fucked up </3) but this ask has me zazzed again so THANK U!!!!! congrats again and as always come back if u wanna yell at me about this fic anymore I LOVE U!!!

[nervouscloudtheorist]

April 27th 2024

Dear Diary,

I MISSED IT. I MISSED WEEDING DAY. I AM SO UPSET WITH MYSELF.

Okay so I was feeling extra sleepy and not too well yesterday so I kinda slept in...for the entire day. I know I know, because when I woke up it was 6:00am TODAY. Uggghhhhhhh I am so upset. I wish there was a way for me to turn back time so that I didn't miss it. I couldn't even go into Leif shop today because I don't want to even talk about it. I was hyping it up to you, to Clay, to Chrissy, to Dierdre, to everyone really and when the day came I was the only one not there. So disappointing,

I don't even really have a good reason for it either. I was practicing my art skills so that I could better design clothes for Sable's sewing machine... I didn't even get far in it. I have nothing to show for missing Weeding day except my tears.

Back to my daily stuff before I continue with the self loathing....

Dierdre invited me to her birthday party on May4th which is awesome because mine is the very next day! Also it's the only birthday party I've been invited to so it's gonna be extra fun. I have to make sure I get her a really good gift. Probably something mermaid related?

Also T-Bone is leaving. I have a hard time being sad about it since I didn't really talk to him all that much but I hope that he finds a place where he can try all the food he wants like he was talking about.

I can't help but feel like a bad mayor...not just because I missed weeding day but because everyone keeps wanting to leave it feels like. I know I may sound super confident in my skills but deep down I'm worried I'm not doing great. I try to visit and talk to everyone but there are just some people I don't click with and I feel like as Mayor that should be kept to a minimal as possible. But much like how I can't go back in time, I can't change what has already happened. I guess like mom says, I can only move forward.

I checked on my turnip prices today and they were 111 bells. I remembered what Joan said about how they only last a week so I made sure to sell them and I want to believe that I made a profit but I cannot remember how much I bought them for. I will need to make sure that I keep a note of that tomorrow when I buy some more turnips cause you know me, I am all about making that bread. Not today though, I am pretty sad.

I spent a lot of time in the museum looking at the fish and realized, I still don't have that many fish here. I should really work on that if I want a place to sit when I am sad. I mean I have outside on the beach but that's not the same as watching fish swim by...

ALSO where is the club that Shrunk promised? It still hasn't been built. I wonder if he told me that it would take longer than normal projects and I just tuned it out because I was thinking about capturing that golden stag beetle. I was also thinking about buying a diving suit but that really doesn't help me when the ocean is still cold on the mainland.

I aldo found a few more Gyroids today. I think I'm on a roll with finding them now. I don't know why it took so long but it seems pretty fantastic to me. However, when I was going around looking for them, I fell into a pitfall. Sly was right there when I fell in so I feel like my suspicions that it is him are completely justified. It may have also been one that I personally planted but I'm not sure because I planted a few. He then asked me to get a cherry for him to eat after he didn't even help me get out of the hole. It is because of these things, I am confident the pitfall seed planter is Sly. Granted Ribbot walked by with a shovel...but that's not important. I am sure he was looking for Gyroids to give to Clay as well...

Regardless, I am going to run a full fledged investigation on Sly starting tomorrow. He can't keep getting away with this!

We will see what evidence I “dig” up.

-Finn

P.S. You know that was funny.

[ivebeenmade]

Been up since about 8:30. She woke up feeling ill. I tried to get us both back to bed since I don't work until 1. Despite falling asleep into.her redbull about 10 times (and she fucking needs sleep) she got angry the moment I laid down with her.

Things we've fought about as follows.

1.) I was going to make breakfast. We have sausages and some mini seasoned potatoes. Sounds pretty good to me. She snaps back that we can't have breakfast because I "broke" the last bottle of maple syrup. *We* used it actually. And all the breakfast stuff comes from a shopping trip just her and her mother were on yesterday. But I should have gone out and replaced the maple syrup we didn't need I guess.

2.) I cleaned our entire kitchen yesterday. It took me 4 hours. I was just getting finished when she got back home from her treatment. She never said "thank you" or "that looks good". Nope. Her exact words? "I see the kitchen got cleaned, that's nice" and at least there was an uptick in her tone though I wish there hadn't been because apparently she was, in her words, "livid" when she saw the kitchen. Why? I hadn't done one final mop of the floor, cleared the cheap wire stand we use to store cans (we're replacing it/moving it/who knows). And finally, the most insulting, she's pissed off because I had yet to clean off the counters. Which was my next step before she walked in the door. I'm always very frustrated, and treated like I'm some nuisance or home invader, if I clean while she's home. She either complains about the noise, or complains that I'm "ignoring" her.

I understand deeply that she is suffering from a very difficult physical illness. My aunt died from it when I was a kid, my other aunt is in an assisted living home and probably won't make it long. So I fucking well understand her suffering. And I try everything to accommodate. And she just shits on me.

Oh, right, the bonus: my employer has developed a personal prejudice against me. Not getting into it, but I am no where near adjacent to guilty of what he's claiming. Despite that, they've been giving me no more than 16 hours for a couple weeks now. So my girlfriend(!) the person who was my best friend since we were, I dunno, 6, says "forget it, I'll finish cleaning myself...let's see if I can afford the supplies with your shitty check".

Why would someone who loves me say something so horrible? I would gladly go to work for 40, 50, 60, hours if it meant not being around long enough for her to come up with more ways to hurt me.

The really, stupidly fucked up thing though? I've found myself feeling guilty about the dog having to live in a house where people just yell, or stay totally silent for hours just so they can stomach each other. My dog knows when I'm sad, he comes to me and hugs me and sits as close as possible, and he'll just give me the biggest beautiful eyes while I'm crying, and kiss my face. He's such a good boy.

I'm so broken. I don't know if I can fix this. I don't think she wants me to. I miss us so much, I can feel this open would on my soul, just bleeding slowly, just losing everything I thought I was.

[lady-lycany]

I hate how NNN is basically no fap culture how it’s a sin to jerk off and whatnot, if you’ve seen that twitter post circling around on how it originated on no fap Reddit which is super incel culture ish, but I also have massive problems with both being horny all the time and jerking off all the time… I probably do it 6 times a day at this point and half of it is just out of boredom to feel something… I tried and lasted almost one day but then decided to have “one last one” but then kept moving it by a day… until I gave up and actually also even bought a new sex toy yesterday because my old one is starting to break and am getting it tomorrow 👍 for me it’s also about self control and it looks like I have zero when it comes to being horny lol

I wake up, almost immediately do it; then during the evening, then right after I shower, then as I’m in bed on my phone about to go to sleep, then right before I sleep… it’s a problem and I can’t help it. Also watch a ton of porn but have tried to limit it in the past… probably gonna do that again since that’s the main issue really but problem is I probably have adhd or at least have random intrusive thoughts 24/7 so my mind just completely wanders every single time, even including sex, my head starts playing a freaking random song or gets random thoughts while I have sex…

I’ve mentioned it a few times very privately before but I’m not really able to talk to my friends about this so I’m glad I can at least say it here

Even though I'm very open when it comes to this topic, I definitely understand and relate that you can't really talk to most people about this topic. I'm glad that my best friend and I are pretty fcked up in the same way. Honestly, it barely passes a week where I don't do it at all, and especially in the last 6 months it became a lot more (not masturbation itself, but my mind was dirty, as soon as I woke up, until I went to bed. And now, where I ignore this topic in the daytime and distract myself, I have very weird dreams that include dirty stuff lol). I also have been at a point a while ago, where I tried to gain distance to all this because of religious blabla but I developed such a "fuck it" mindset, that I really don't care about it anymore. I don't have a partner, I never did, I'm almost 24, and while others in my age fuck around I just imagine scenarios or watch porn and do it myself. I mean... why not? It just shouldn't take over my whole fcking personality (as it did in the last couple of weeks lol) So I think this break is really important for my brain to reset. If you do it about 6 times a day, while watching porn, you may or may not also know the struggle that eventually normal "dirty" isn't dirty enough anymore. At least I can say about me that I already saw a lot of weird n wrong stuff, talking about all directions, and right know, I at least have a main kink again, that isn't completely morally questionable lmao. Last year, I also tried to do the full nnn but only managed to stay strong for 14 days. I really wanna do the whole month this time, but the week before my period I lose any self control when it comes to this 😂 So yea... We'll see how far I come this time...

What I've noticed in the last months is, having a dirty mind and imagining stuff is so much more fun to me than actual masturbation. Because if it's over, it's over, u know? But if you don't do it, your mind stays all day long in this hyped up mindset and I have lots of giggles and yea... And the right music for the imagination is like the cherry on top 😆🤌

[lucy90712]

Pecco Bagnaia- I do

It feels like just yesterday that Pecco and I got engaged but in reality it's been over 6 months, the day was just perfect because Pecco had gone all out to make it a special day which he did very well. I often think back to that day and remember the twinkle in Pecco's eyes as he asked me to marry him and the smile he had on his face when I said yes and he put the ring on my finger, it's such a fond memory that I hope to never forget even as I get older. That being said since there has been a lot of stress in trying to plan our wedding because Pecco is often away so we only have limited time to actually go and look around venues and organise vendors which has meant that I've been handling most things while he's away but we always talk through FaceTime before making any final decisions.

Although it's been a lot of work the last few months things are coming together so I can do the things I'm really excited about like finding a dress. I have been to a few dress shops but none of the dresses I tried seemed right even if they were really pretty they just weren't what I had pictured in my mind for my wedding dress. Today seeing as its a Saturday and Pecco is at a race me and a few friends are all going to go dress shopping and as I'm the first friend in the group to get married everyone is very excited probably more excited than I am. They have been sending me pictures for the last week and even all woke me up incredibly early this morning by sending pictures back and forth on our group chat which I tried to ignore but I was well and truly awake so I just got up. The plan was to go in the afternoon but at just after 10am there was pounding in the door despite the fact there is a doorbell right there that scared the life out of me but when I answered it it was just my friends who practically dragged me out the door after letting me grab my keys and shoes.

When we arrived in the nearest city they dragged me through the streets until we got to a small boutique that had some incredibly fancy dresses in the window which were at all my style but they still made me go in just to look around. As soon as we entered a worker came up to us and asked me all sorts of questions about what I was looking for before showing me to a section of dresses that matched the description I gave. There was so many pretty dresses but most of them just weren't my style but there was a few I liked so I picked them out to try them on and my friends picked a few that they wanted to see me in and the worker picked one she thought would suit me.

Trying on the dresses was actually quite disappointing as all the ones I thought would look good just didn't and even the one the worker picked just didn't seem to suit me, it's frustrating because all I want is a dress that I love but all of the ones I try just look awful on me to the point that I'm starting to wonder if I'll even find a dress in time. The last dress I went to try on was one that I picked because I thought it looked nice even though I was convinced it wouldn't suit me but as soon as I looked in the mirror I fell in love. The dress itself was fitted right until my knees where it flowed into a beautiful lace train, at the top the neckline was kind of deep but not too revealing and there was little sleeves with the same lace that covered the rest of the dress which looked like leaves and flowers. Looking at myself in the mirror I almost let a few tears slip down my face as I pictured myself marrying Pecco in the dress which is how I knew it was the one. I still wanted to show my friends just to get their opinion and as soon as I walked out to where they were stood they all loved it and said it was the best one I'd tried on.

I tried the dress on with a veil and everything before getting all my measurements taken so that the dress could be altered to fit me perfectly even though it already fit quite well it just needed to be made a bit shorter. Of course I had to take a million pictures first to send to my family who have been dying to see what I picked out and to keep as memories, Pecco has also been begging me to send him pictures of the wedding dresses I try but I refuse because I want to wait until the day for him to see the dress although it is hard to keep it a secret when I usually tell him everything. Leaving the store I was overwhelmed with happiness thinking about the fact that this wedding was really going to happen and I was going to marry Pecco in the most beautiful dress I've ever seen that I almost forgot about everything else thats left to organise.

~~~~~~~~~~

Finally it's the big day after 10 months of organising things it's officially the day that me and Pecco are getting married. We spent the afternoon yesterday traveling the few hours to the venue we picked but after having dinner we haven't seen each other as I had to be up earlier to get ready and I still didn't want him to see my dress so I decided to stay with my best friend in a room together. She woke me up quite early so we could head to the venue with the rest of my bridesmaids to start getting ready and just to oversee everything even though my friend is kind of in charge of all that as she's a wedding planner but I just wanted to be there in case of an emergency. The whole car ride I was so exited to see the venue again with things set up as when me and Pecco went to look at it the place was empty but it had the exact vibes we were going for and had such potential that we had to choose it but it will be cool to see it decked out in everything we chose. As we walked through the reception area they were setting up the tables and the decorations on them which looked so much better in real life than I could have ever imagined.

Time went by so quickly and before I knew it my hair and makeup were done and it was time for me to get my dress on which I haven't seen since my last fitting which wasn't that long after I brought it so I'm quite nervous that it won't fit right as it's been a few months since then. The train if the dress was is so long that I needed 5 friends to hold it to allow me to even step in the dress then more people were needed to help do up all the buttons at the back which took a while but when it was done I felt really good as the dress felt like it fit perfectly. I had help putting my heels on before I got to look at myself in the mirror, I was shocked by my own appearance when I got a glimpse of myself because I've never looked this good in my life which I suppose it a good thing seeing as it's my wedding day. The dress fit me perfectly but wasn't tight to the point that I wouldn't be able to eat anything and my hair and makeup were done to perfection in a way that made my features really stand out in the best way possible.

Once everyone was ready we still had a few minutes before the ceremony started and even then I had a few more minutes before I had to walk down the aisle and as much as I was really excited to get married I was also really nervous for many reasons but mostly that Pecco would get cold feet and leave me at the alter. I know its stupid to think that way because we talked so much about marriage before we got engaged and Pecco has been so excited for this day for months so there is no reason that he would leave me but you never know what will happen on the day. My mind quickly went through all the negative thoughts and then straight to thinking about all the jokes me and Pecco had made about being stuck with each other once we are married but they always end with us saying how we can't wait for that day so I know he will be just as excited as I am waiting for me at the alter.

Before I knew it the time came for me to walk down the aisle and my dad came over to walk with me, he gave me a quick smile and squeezed my arm before putting his arm though mine as we walked into the building through the doors allowing me to see inside for the first time. Music was playing as I took a quick glance at all of mine and Pecco's family and friends standing as I walked in but my gaze quickly turned to Pecco himself so was stood at the alter where I had hoped he would be. The rest of the walk I stared into his eyes and the closer I got the more evident the tears coming down his face were which made me want to cry but I held off as best I could as not to ruin my makeup yet but it definitely wasn't going to last too much longer. When I got the the aisle my dad let go of my arm and Pecco took my hands for a second before letting go which I used as an opportunity to wipe his cheeks before the officiant started the ceremony officially. The ceremony itself didn't interest me too much but I followed along just waiting for it to be over and soon enough the time came where we got to say our vows and I had spent ages writing mine so I was ready to say them but Pecco was first.

"Y/n being here with you is really like a dream come true the minute we met I knew there was something special about you and by the end of our first date I knew we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together. From them I always told myself I would take care of you and love you with everything I have and now that we're getting married that isn't going to change in fact I'll do my best to love you even more and I promise that I'll me there for you whenever you need me and even when you think you don't because we're in this together now" he said struggling to say some words because he was holding back tears

"Getting married is something I've thought about since I was little and I've had an image of what that day would look like in my head for years but one thing that was never there was the person I'd be marrying that was until I met you since then it was clear to me that you were the only one I'd ever want to share this dream with. My life only feels complete when you are here to the point that I'm not myself when you are away because its like an important part of me is missing thats how much you mean to me and how much I love you Pecco. Spending the rest of our lives together is about the only way life could get any better which is why I'm over the moon to be stood here and getting to call you my husband" I said well and truly in tears after Pecco's vows

We were both in floods of tears but the time we had finished our vows and the not crying had completely gone out the window but when I saw a few other people in the audience crying too it made me feel less like a sappy mess. The ceremony continued but me and Pecco were barely paying attention as we were staring into each other's eyes as well as wiping the tears that ran down our faces.

"You may now kiss the bride" the officiant announced

Pretty much instantly his lips collided with mine in the most passionate kiss we have ever shared as his arms went around my waist and mine around his neck. After a few moments we pulled away and I quickly pecked his lips again before we walked back down the aisle and out the doors where I finally felt like I could breathe so I let out a sigh, Pecco must have felt the same as I heard him do the same which made us look at each other and laugh at how we had clearly been holding our breath more than we knew. The rest of our guests walked out as we stopped laughing along with the photographer ready to take pictures which is something I wasn't looking forward to too much as I don't really like being in front of a camera or posing but if there was any day to do it it would be today. We posed for photos with families and friends as well as the entire wedding party before we started to do pictures of just the two of us that I was convinced would be awkward but Pecco kept making me laugh and I completely forgot about the fact there was a camera in front of us.

Soon enough we were done with the staged photos and were allowed into the reception but first I put on some flat shoes as not to hurt myself by wearing heels all day. When we walked into the room it was just spectacular everything was set out perfectly and there was even things that I don't remember adding in, there were little glass bowls with little decorations in themand in mine and Pecco's places there were little heart decors with writing on that I couldn't read at a distance. Pecco had hold of my hand and led me over to our families who were talking to each other so that we could talk to them and right away they congratulated us and complimented the decor which I thanked them for but I wasn't responsible for some parts of it. We talked with them for a while before going round and talking to all the other guests to thank them for coming and just to talk to them as some we haven't seen for a long time but eventually we had made it around everyone and got to go and sit down for a moment to be together.

"You look beautiful in that dress" Pecco complimented as we sat down together

"Thank you you look great in this suit too" I said

"I can't believe how good everything looks when we were planning it I never thought it would come together like this " he commented

"I know it looks so great but I don't remember deciding on half this stuff like when did we add those flowers and the table decors?" I ask wanting to try and jog my memory or work out that we didn't plan it and that I wasn't crazy

"We didn't but I did" he replied

"What?" I questioned still very confused

"Well you were really stressed about all of the wedding planning and like getting all the big things organised so I thought I could set up some little things that you'd enjoy on the day plus it was actually really fun and I enjoyed getting everything together to surprise you" he explained

"Aww Pecco thats so sweet of you you did a wonderful job too" I said

We talked a little more before everyone sat down to eat and then people began to make toasts which I was dreading because I knew my friends would embarrass me but to my surprise they were all very sweet and talked about nice memories which I was very thankful for. Pecco's friends whoever weren't so nice and they told stories from the time before we were together when he used to do stupid things in front of me while trying to impress me which I do remember but to hear it from their point of view was funny. Me and Pecco then made toasts to each other which were a little boring as we hadn't prepared anything outside of our vows but no one seemed to notice.

The rest of the evening went by pretty quickly but we had a great time facing and talking with family although we both just wanted to get out of there towards the end so we could have some time alone. Late in the evening people began to leave and Pecco seemed to take that as our chance to get away too as he grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the car taking us back to the hotel. Once at the hotel he helped me out the car and then just picked me up over his shoulder and carried me up to our room where he put me down in the bed and grabbed his phone and began to play our favourite song. He pulled me up and put his hands on my waist while I put my arms around his neck as we swayed back and forth to the music although that didn't last too long as he started to kiss me and the music was quickly forgotten about when we got into bed to spent the night together.

[raspberryconverse]

So yesterday I woke up at 6:30am (I usually get up for work at 9:15, check in and go back to sleep for another hour or so if there's nothing to do) with extreme upper abdominal pain. I was crying and could only comfortably lay on my back, which is not how I sleep. Absolutely miserable. My spouse took me to urgent care as soon as they opened at 8.

The APN concluded that it was gall bladder related, gave me a shot for the pain, a prescription for another medication that specifically stops the spasms and sent me to another location for an ultrasound. Apparently I have a 1.8cm gall stone.

I don't need surgery, but I do need to follow up with her and a GI doctor and most importantly, I need to change my diet. I am not taking this well.

I've been crying about it a lot because I have so much food that I like in the house that I'm not supposed to eat. I probably shouldn't have eaten the Hello Fresh meal I made tonight (Crispy Kickin’ Cayenne Chicken Cutlets, which had a little bit of cheese to hold the panko on the chicken and the mashed potatoes had sour cream in them). I definitely shouldn't eat the Bacon and Cream Supreme Spaghetti that's my last meal for the week. I shouldn't eat either mac and cheese options I have (Aldi brand Velveeta shell and cheese and their special gouda mac and cheese that my spouse likes to call "stinky macaroni"). Probably shouldn't eat my last pizza. Probably shouldn't eat the frozen pesto shells.

We went to Aldi tonight and I whined the whole time. I tried to get something from the bakery section (I like their raspberry danish and like to have that as an early morning snack when I get stuck doing work when I wake up at 9:15) and got a death glare from my spouse. They suggested a million things I just don't like. We argued about whether beef broth was worse than chicken broth and then argued about organic foods being bullshit (news flash, they are) I did get a lot of fruit, some salmon and some veggies to make pasta dishes. They were out of ground turkey, which I'm going to substitute in a recipe I make a lot when I don't get a Hello Fresh box. I'm kinda bummed because I wanted to make another one I really like, especially since my basil plant is thriving right now, but the alfredo sauces all have too much sodium (also bad because I have high blood pressure). And basically any dessert I'd like to eat I can't.

It's really fucking depressing. I was finally on the upswing with my depression and anxiety, despite the basement flood and lack of energy to do anything productive, and then I get a fucking gall stone and can no longer eat 90% of the food in my house. Like, of course I don't want to be in pain like that again, but I also don't want to hate eating because I don't like anything that I'm allowed to eat now. And the gall stone is small enough that really the only thing I can do about it is to change my diet.

So I think I'm going to cry some more about it, eat this

and watch Nick and Charlie make out a bunch and go to bed.

[obsidiancreates]

Hey, just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. I'd send a message but I'm shadow banned or something so it won't let me.

I really hope you're feeling a bit better. I saw the posts about what happened and your dad's response and it angered me so much I had to get off of tumblr for a bit. You really deserve better than that.

I just want you to know that I genuinely care for you and would be very sad if you disappeared off of here. I'm always here to talk if you need me (I can send you my discord or snapchat or even just my phone number).

Please take care of yourself. You deserve a lot more than your parents give you, and a lot more than you think you do. You are an amazing person and deserve the world and I really hope the rainbow is nearby for you!

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Thank you friend <3

I'm... getting, better? I don't know. All of yesterday I had weird random moments of sobbing and anxiety heart palpitations and shaking and stuff, but I also had to work a shift yesterday so that like, might've been a contributor. I woke up anxious and upset today after nightmares but that's literally a daily thing, it was just a little extra intense today.

I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to leave everyone. That's the scariest part of what happened. I remember what it felt like to want to die, to hate myself, to think I was a waste of space and unloved and wouldn't be missed. I've felt that and I know that feeling intimately.

I don't feel like that anymore, and haven't in years. I want to live, I have things I'm looking forward to, I love myself a lot, I'm not a waste of space at all and contribute a lot to a lot of people's lives, I know I'm loved and I know I would be missed.

So it's scary to me that that... still wasn't enough. Kind of a sobering realization about my state of being, that even with all of that, I still got to the point I did.

It's terrifying. There's nothing about me that would be considered typical of someone who tries to do that. I am not self-hating and I am not unwanted and I do not think I am worthless. I thought, when I was younger, that if I ever got to this place, where I love myself and have things to Stay for and have small daily joys to look forward to alongside big months/years-off things, that I'd be better and I wouldn't have these issues anymore. I thought I'd beat it. I thought I'd won. I thought the little urges were just the last embers of a dying flame, and because I could resist them I was Healed.

It's scary that it's still here. It's scary to realize that it won't ever actually be a non-concern. It's scary to realize it can still win.

It changes a lot of things. But at the same time nothing is changing. My parents are trying to pretend it didn't happen, like usual. That's how it always goes, we blow up, it's huge and feels life-changing, and then we go on like nothing ever happened until it comes up as a festered, oozing wound with the next overflow. I don't know how to fix that. My brother doesn't know how to fix that. My parents don't want to fix that. They don't want to help me, they don't want the messy unsatisfying complicated process of helping me, they just want me to be fixed.

So I'm feeling... weird. I was supposed to go on a clean with them today but they didn't make me, so I get to "relax" in whatever sense of the word applies to me (it's not the traditional one, I can't remember the last time I didn't have anxiety and dread thrumming through my chest like an outpouring of concrete that never fully dries) before I have a morning shift tomorrow.

I kind of never thought I'd have to deal with this. I've had urges and thoughts since I was 6 years old, placed outside after crying because I was bullied with open outdoor hallways in a school right next to the highway, no-one watching me, and started thinking "I should throw myself into the traffic so that they know how they all made me feel since crying doesn't work." But I never actually tried it. I just sat outside, cried, and pushed through. I never thought it'd get to a point where I actually succumbed to one of those urges, genuinely.

This went into a ramble. I don't know. There's not a satisfying way to end this other than I don't ever want to do that again and I'm going to do my best not to, in whatever way and by whatever means I can to prevent getting to that point again.

[aggimaginary]

The Bad Guys season 1: Our Own Story (chapter 5) - Get A Job

First Previous Next

This chapter is the continuation of "The Secret Origin of Mr. Hornet."

Have fun reading this chapter.

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Intro

Mr. Wolf:Yeah!I'm bad!

Mr. Snake:You're bad!

Ms. Tarantula:He's bad!

Mr. Hornet:She's bad!

Mr. Piranha:We're bad!

Mr. Shark:Who's bad?

The Bad Guys:Yeah! We're the Bad Guys!

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In the morning, Hornet was sleeping peacefully in bed, but he began to squirm like a frightening worm as he was stuck in the dream world.

The world was dark with raging fire all over the place. Humans and a few other anthropomorphic animals screamed and ran in fear. A missile was dropped on a building, exploding the rooftop. In the very center of the city, a shadowy-figure was on top of a high mountain where the Bad Guys were staring at it from the bottom.

"Hornet!" Shark cried.

"Hornet, stop!" Tarantula yelled.

"You don't have to do this!" Snake exclaimed.

The shadowy figure turned out to be Hornet as he wore black clothes and a cape, "You chose to be good over me! And you're going to abandon me?"

"No. We want you to join us!" Wolf answered.

"We want you to be good like us!" Piranha added.

"Well, I don't want to be good! Not after everything that I've been through! If I can't have you 5 by my side, nobody will!" Hornet roared in rage as he stomped one of his little legs on the mountain, causing large cracks at the surface of the Earth, sinking everything in their paths, including the Bad Guys. Hornet cackled crazily and evilly.

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In the real world, Hornet snapped awake from that horrible nightmare. He panted in stress while sweating as he realized it was just a dream when he looked around, and found out he was in his bedroom.

Thank goodness it was just a dream.

But Hornet shouldn't depend on it. It was not just a dream… It was a sign or a vision if he continued to think negatively about his friends for being good and him wanting to stay bad, there will be die-hard consequences. No, he can't! He won't let that happen! His friends are the only family he ever had, and he couldn't lose them because of his own pride. He had to find a way to prevent that nightmare from happening.

Hornet looked at his alarm clock shaped like a hornet hive comb, and saw it was still 6:15 am. This means his friends weren't up yet, not even Piranha since he usually woke up every 6:30 am to prepare breakfast. Hornet got out of bed, and headed to the door. He slowly opened the door so his friends won't hear him coming out of his bedroom.

Hornet stuck his head out to see if the room was good enough to be out. There was no sign of his friends yet, so he was safe. Hornet quietly shut the door, and looked around for a clue if there was anything that can help him be good again than usual, like he used to be.

While he was flying towards the dining table, he noticed a newspaper that was published yesterday. Hornet flew down, and looked at it. He was skimming a few pages, until he found an employment ad. He read to it, and figured out that this might help him redeem himself. He might be still a Bad Guy, but he wanted to be good just for his friend… to avoid hurting them and betraying them. His own family. Hornet quickly tear the newspaper, only saving the ad, flew back to his room to dress up, and carried a file from his closet before moving out.

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There was a fast-food restaurant called "FasTogether" that was newly opened to the public. The grand opening was yesterday, and they were only a few employees working there to cook and serve food to customers.

That would be Hornet's goal today: To work at this new restaurant. He already gave his "résumé" to the co-owners of the restaurant as they read it with Hornet mailing nervously. The resume only contained Hornet's profile, but no working experience or school achievements at all.

"Are you sure you want to take this job?" The female co-owner, Mrs. Gardener asked while taking the résumé down and staring at a nervous hornet.

"Yes," Hornet nodded.

After looking at the résumé, the couple glanced at each other, knowing that they didn't know Hornet's résumé him better for the job.

"I have to remind you, Mr. Hornet. You were known as one of the members of the Bad Guys. We know you and your friends were released from prison, but that doesn't mean we trust you sooner," Mr. Gardener said.

"We can hire you, but we can't just accept you. You have to gain our trust by doing your job," Mrs. Gardener added.

"I promise. I will do that," Hornet held his hand up as a gesture of promise.

"I don't know. You're just a little bug, and giving orders to the customers with trays might be hard for you," Mrs. Gardener said while pinching her fingers together to measure Hornet's size.

"You can trust me. I've done this before. And carrying stuff like this won't be hard for me," Hornet pleaded, wanting this job so badly.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardener glanced at each other, and their eyes wandered all over their restaurant where they only saw two waiters and 5 cooks. They didn't have enough waiters to serve new customers every day, and they would have to serve customers, in case their waiters were too busy serving others.

Mr. Gardener groaned while pinching the bridge of his nose, "Fine, just do your job well, and don't think about stealing, or you'll be fired," When Hornet cheered for himself, a bell ran from the window kitchen, and the chef slowly shoved the tray of food out of the window. Mr. Gardener took the tray, and placed it on the counter in front of Hornet, "Now, this is the order, and you're going to give it to the customers at table number 5. It's right there," he pointed to the number along with the food on the tray, then pointed the table where there was a number 5 standing the table, "Understood."

Hornet nodded as he carried the tray. It was a little heavy, but he can manage without dropping it.

"Good, now get to work," Mrs. Gardener commanded as Hornet flew across the restaurant to get the order to the right customer.

Hornet kept avoiding the obstacles along the way while delivering the food to the customers. Even though Hornet nearly dropped the food, he managed to balance the tray on his hands.

Finally, he arrived safely with the order as Hornet put the tray down on the table, "Number 5, here's your order."

"Thank you," The male customer said before grabbing the burger, and about to eat when he recognized his waiter, "Hey, are you Mr. Hornet? And you work here?" Hornet nodded as the customer smiled, "That's good. You got a job than stealing money. Good for you."

Hornet nodded smilingly as he turned and flew back to the counter to wait for more orders to serve.

Just then, while he was in the middle of the place, Hornet heard familiar voices from the door.

"Where's Hornet?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen him this morning."

"Well, we have to find him later. I'm starving, and I wanna eat outside here."

Hornet gasped as he turned and see all of his 5 friends were here. The Bad Guys… are here… at the same restaurant… where he was working in! Of all the restaurants in this big city, why do they have to come here? Hornet started to panic. If his friends saw him here, who knows what they would think of him?! He has to hide. But where?

The Bad Guys headed to an empty slot so they can sit and eat in this restaurant.

Shark looked around the place as he was amused, "Is this the new restaurant? Because I haven't seen this place before."

"It probably just opened after we got out of prison. I think we can eat here any time," Wolf guessed.

"Yeah, it's nearer to our place," Snake added.

While Hornet was flying out of sight from his friends, a waiter then came to them with a notepad, "Can I take your order?"

"Yes, I'll have…"

When Wolf was taking his order, Hornet quickly flew behind the counter so his friends won't see him. Unfortunately, he was caught by his new bosses.

"Mr. Hornet, what are you doing?" Mrs. Gardener asked.

Hornet was startled by one of his bosses' voice as he sighed in relief and confessed, "I'm… hiding from my friends."

"Why?" Mr. Gardener inquired.

"They didn't know I was working here, and if they find out, they would think I'm a weirdo," Hornet said sadly.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Hornet, but you can't hide from your friends, especially when you're at work," Mrs. Gardener stated, crossing her arms.

"When your friends' orders are ready, you have to serve them," Mr. Gardener added.

Then, a waiter clipped the note of order from the Bad Guys onto the, this meant they finished taking their orders.

Hornet turned to his bosses with pleading eyes, "Why can't someone else could do it?"

"We only have three waiters here, which includes you, and they are both booked, so you're the only one who can serve them," Mr. Gardener reminded.

"Order up!" The chef from the kitchen called as he took out a tray of food

"Now go," Mrs. Gardener told him as Hornet sighed and carried the tray of food that his friends ordered.

To hide from the sight of his friends, Hornet lowered himself to have the tray cover him while flying towards the table to serve the food to his friends without them noticing him.

When the tray came closer to the Bad Guys table, they saw the tray floating without seeing Hornet anywhere.

"Oh, I won't mind there was a floating tray serving our food," Tarantula said.

Shark gasped in terror, "It's a ghost!"

But Wolf doubted this theory, "Wait a minute. I saw floating stuff before, and they are not ghosts!" He then turned to the floating tray, "I'm not sure this is a floating tray. Are you a floating tray or not?"

"I'm a floating tray," Hornet's muffled voice answered.

"Okay then," Wolf smiled before snapping himself into realization, "Wait?! If you were really a floating tray, you wouldn't answer that question because everyone knows that trays can't hear!" When he grabbed the tray, he lifted it up to reveal Hornet under it

"Hehe, hey guys," Hornet grinned nervously.

"Hornet, what are you doing here?!" Piranha asked.

"I work here!" Hornet answered.

"You got a job?!" Tarantula exclaimed.

"And why are you even working?" Snake questioned.

"Well, you said I have to give a good life a second chance, so I decided to have a job serving people food," Hornet grinned.

The other Bad Guys turned to Snake, and smirked slyly at him for giving Hornet a piece of good advice. Wise snake he was. Snake wasn't comfortable with those looks as he defended himself, "I didn't mean that-!" he snapped, but he cut himself off, "Okay, okay, that's it! I give up! Do whatever you like. I am not good in giving advice like this!"

"But what about our plans today?" Piranha reminded.

"Don't worry, I won't be long. I only work 4-6 hours a day. It's no big deal," Hornet explained whispering to Piranha, "But I'm gonna steal some cherries on my way out."

Piranha winked and grinned proudly in response.

Hornet nodded before telling the rest, "Hope you enjoyed your food, guys."

"Oh, we'll do," Shark grabbed a burger, and took a bite, "Well, we'll see you back home, alright, Hornet?"

"Sure thing…" Hornet chuckled in response as he turned and flew to the direction of the counter, where he hid his sad guilty, and scared face, "Maybe…"

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Later at night, when the customers are getting fewer and fewer, Hornet was one of the employees who stayed for a while. When Hornet noticed his bosses were about to head out of the restaurant, he swooped in front of them to talk to them.

"Umm, sir, ma'am, is it okay I'll stay here for a bit?"

Mr. Gardener was surprised about this from a former criminal, but he was unsure about this idea, "You're gonna do nightshift? But it's your first day of the job."

"I figured that this new restaurant needs a lot of help, and since this place opens 24 hours a day, I figured I can help extra more," Hornet said.

The couple looked at each other if they could even trust Hornet. They then turned back to the bug as Mr. Gardener said, "Alright, but promise you won't steal anything."

"I won't make promises like that," Hornet smirked playfully.

Mrs. Gardener rolled her eyes, but accepted that answer, "Fine. Just do what you do."

Hornet waved goodbye to them with the Gardeners still didn't trust Hornet.

When Hornet went back to work, he couldn't come home tonight, not as long as he kept remembering his nightmare of betraying his friends like that if he doesn't turn fully good like the rest of the team. He has to stay awake and keep working, even if avoiding his friends in the process.

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Back in the Bad Guys' hideout, Wolf was looking out the window, waiting for any signs of Hornet. But he was already waiting for hours, Wolf closed the blinds of the window.

"Hornet's not home yet?" Tarantula asked.

Wolf shook his head "no".

Snake groaned frustratingly, "Ugh, where is he?! He was supposed to be home! We have work to do tonight!"

"And we already planned a heist tomorrow morning," Piranha added about the plans.

"Look, let's just hope he'll be home soon. We'll just take a nap, and get to our vigilante work, okay?" Wolf suggested.

The rest of the team looked at each other worriedly. They were worried for Hornet. They couldn't forget his breakdown since their trip to his former home, and confessed to them everything about his life. They just hoped he was okay while he was working at his new job. Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula nodded in agreement as they all went to their respective bedrooms to nap.

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It was a huge heist right there. 7 criminals in a group with backpacks already filled with stolen valuables. Some of them even went out of their way to steal files, so that they could use them to search through more of the place they robbed. As the Bad Guys got ready, slowly climbing up the building, one of the criminals realized that they forgot something behind. Quickly muttering something, he ran right back through the emergency door they came from...

The two groups got into a stare-down. The Bad Guys knew that they are somewhat outnumbered since there are 6 criminals they are up against, but they can get through them. They already did get into a few fights, so they might win for sure. As they all got into a fighting pose, the criminals even got into theirs.

…they did the strangest things.

Whipping out a few batons (clearly handmade), they swung them around as if stretching in preparation. Spinning them around and making a lot of flashy movements.

"Are they fighting or are they dancing?" muttered Snake.

The criminals struck another pose, but they look more like acrobatics than professional thieves. Even their fancy fedoras, full-face masks and trench coats made them look pretty stiff. Enough to stifle a chuckle from the Bad Guys.

Then, one criminal threw out a gun - similar to Wolf's grappling hook - right at Tarantula.

She didn't respond until she realizes how far she was falling for until she landed right into a pot of dirt. She poked her head out, dazed.

"What was that?!" she said.

Back on the rooftop, the Bad Guys stared at the criminals, dumbfounded.

"Did he just throw the gun?!" said Wolf, managing to disguise his voice in a Southern accent.

"Did you just threw your gun?" hissed one of the criminals.

"Wait, that wasn't the dagger?" said the sheepish criminal.

"Who cares?" said the leader of the criminals. "We don't need firearms or knives for this!"

Now, it's 4 against 6. Lovely.

Shark immediately charged in and there were already not just one, but three criminals on him. They all pounced onto him, but he slammed them down using his belly before rolling over. However, that gave one of the criminals a chance to jump right on top of his chest and punch right there. Despite nearly getting distracted by the pain, Shark tackled the criminal and slammed him down like doing a football tackle. The second criminal tried to throw a few punches at Shark. The two traded blows before Shark spun around and swatted the criminal in the face. However, in the process, he lost his balance and fell down the rooftop. He quickly planted his hands and feet on the walls to break his fall, but the third criminal was onto him. Using the same method to get near him, the criminal then kicked Shark in the face and the latter landed softly on the ground, unconscious.

Wolf was up against one criminal. He hopes that this time, he might be able to fight back well and block the moves. It went well as the two were in a punch-and-kick fight with neither of them going down. Though, the criminal brought out his two batons. Wolf decided to try what Diane did back when the Bad Guys were in prison. He leaped upwards and the criminal struck an X to defend himself. Wolf landed on the ground and tried to reach for the criminal's pants, but the latter didn't have his eyes closed. Immediately, he crushed Wolf's hand and twisted it around. Wolf gritted his teeth, hissing in pain before the criminal slapped him with the baton in his other hand. Then hit him in the groin with his knee. Wolf squealed before dropping to the floor.

Snake found himself up against odds with a more experienced criminal as his opponent proved to be more difficult to take down. While Snake did spin him around, the criminal kept trying to stomp on him and make sure he doesn't get away. Even when the foot pinned him down, Snake eventually had to find other ways to wiggle his way around. When Snake tried to throw him down, the criminal grabbed onto him to try take him down with him.

Meanwhile, Piranha was nearly the most effective of the group, already knocking out two criminals who ganged up on him after finishing with their previous opponents. He was still having the time of his time, though while he had more on his trail, at least he got to take them down! The criminals were more experienced in fights, but Piranha didn't let that get to him and managed to defend himself.

So far, it was only Snake and Piranha the standing ones who were still fighting. Tarantula (who was trying to get her back up on the rooftop), Shark (knocked out in the alleyway) and Wolf (who was still agonizing in excruciating pain from being hit in the nuts) were out.

Eventually, Snake hopped onto another criminal and the latter tried to swing his baton at him. However, Snake just moved his head out of the way before grabbing the baton with his mouth. He spun the criminal around before pushing him down and charging toward another criminal nearby him.

As Snake flew in about to use the baton like a stabbing knife, the criminal ducked and Snake ended up placing the baton into Piranha's mouth. Or at least where his mouth should be at due to being covered by a mask. And the mask was stretchable enough to stretch inside Piranha's mouth.

"Whoa, chico!" exclaimed Piranha as he quickly spat out the baton.

"Oop, sorry!" said Snake quickly before swinging the baton around.

Unfortunately, he didn't hit anyone and this delay in being on alert got one criminal to quickly overwhelm him by grabbing him by the neck and throwing him to the ground. The baton followed, hitting him in the head.

Meanwhile, Piranha went back to fighting against the remaining criminals. One of them managed to grab him with the other about to whack him with his own baton. Thinking quickly, Piranha used his feet, planting them on the person near him before pushing the two criminals away. Mid-air, he was suddenly grabbed before being thrown to the side, sending him falling onto Shark on the surface.

Snake, dizzy and battered, looked up to see all 6 criminals spinning around to face him. "Uh…no!" he said in a fake 'lady' voice, slowly backing away. "It's over! You won. You won! Fair fight! I-I got to go!"

But the criminals weren't having any of it. As Snake tried to slither away, one of them quickly grabbed him by the tail and spun him around. As Wolf slowly lifted his head up, the criminal slammed Snake right into him once again. With Snake falling next to him, the two fallen fighters could only lay on the ground with goofy, dizzy expressions.

"Alright," said the leader of the criminals. "Let's back off, boys." One of the criminals nearly tried to get back into the alleyway to deal with Piranha and Shark. "C'mon. Let's get the duck out of here."

As the criminals stared at their attackers, the other criminal that went back down to collect something arrived. It was time for them to go before the authorities found them on the rooftop.

Right on time when Tarantula arrived, using the gun that was actually a grappling gun. "Hey, boys! Who's ready to-?" She paused upon realizing that the fight just ended. "Oh. I was just about to get ready!"

"Mental note," slurred Wolf. "Next time, we have to bring weapons."

"We were clearly outnumbered," grumbled Snake. "We should just go together as a full team with Hornet the next time we get into a fight.

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The next morning, Hornet was still working at the restaurant. This time, Hornet worked as a janitor overnight. He started to feel exhausted as his eyelids were getting heavy. Hornet slapped himself whenever he felt sleepy. He even made himself coffee from the kitchen, but he put his own money that he and his friends stole into the cash register to pay up for the coffee. Hornet already drank 4 cups of coffee as he kept returning back and forth to use the mop.

When the co-bosses came to the restaurant, and put their bags down, they noticed the same new employee they hired yesterday was still here, but looked tired and exhausted.

"Mr. Hornet, you're still here, and you're still working?" Mrs. Gardener approached the little bug in concern.

Hornet shook his head to wake his brain, and formed a fake smile, "Yep. I enjoyed this job already!"

Mr. Gardener then walked behind his wife, looking worriedly at Hornet, "Are you sure you're not tired? You look… exhausting."

"I'm…" Hornet yawned, but tried to snap himself awake, "I'm fine. I just have to keep working, that's all."

But the couple weren't buying for it as Mrs. Gardener tried to take the mop away from their new employee, "You need to rest, Mr. Hornet. You can work again tomorrow."

But Hornet hesitated to take the mop away from him as he yanked it away before proceeding to keep mopping, "I'm fine. I can handle this."

The couple were a bit worried for Hornet. He had been working all day and night without resting or going home. They wanted to make him rest, but they were afraid to get into an argument with a hornet. They slowly back away, letting Hornet work.

They were right. Hornet is exhausted, and he wanted to go back home, but he can't face his friends again while thinking about the nightmare. He feared it might come true. He has to keep making good deeds without seeing his friends for a moment.

Meanwhile, as planned for their heist that they discussed this morning, all 5 Bad Guys all slipped into the bank, unnoticed, set to place their heist into action.

Disguised as bank officials, with Shark dressed as a police officer, it was easy for the team to walk inside without anyone noticing who they really were.

Shark used his disguise to mimic being a police officer and escorting all of the customers out due to "Safety concerns" with the bank's new "air freshener." It was more than enough for them to leave, with only the fellow security officers remaining since they thought that they still had to stay behind to guard the place.

Snake quickly got to his spot where he first made sure that no one, and no camera, was watching him, before he scaled up a nearby pillar and easily slithered into a vent.

Meanwhile, Tarantula saw that the security officer who was watching over the video cameras in a secluded area nearby left his position, leaving the bank to go on a "lunch break." Seeing the perfect opportunity, she crawled over to the video camera area, quickly opened her laptop, and plugged in her hard drive, hacking into the security cameras so they couldn't record what the Bad Guys were going to do. Plus, thanks to her size, no one else could see what Tarantula was doing.

Wolf walked past a nearby officer and easily pickpocketed the officer's I.D. card and then waited for the officer to enter the bathroom so he could use the I.D. card to scan and gain access to the door. With quick access, he and Piranha easily walked through the door, down the hallway, and all the way to the vault.

Piranha couldn't help but chuckle while he and Wolf tore off their disguises and wore their black bodysuits, "Ha, this is so easy! We are practically gonna be in and out before anyone notices!"

Wolf then said, "Let's just focus on getting the money first before we consider this an 'easy' job."

Snake slithered through the vents and molted out of his disguise and into his black bodysuit, before greeting his buddies at the vault door through another vent, "Look who's arrived!"

Snake leaped down and got right to work on trying to unlock the door, finding the right combination to do so.

Shark and Tarantula, who also ditched their costumes and were wearing their bodysuits, quickly joined up with the crew with Shark said, "Hope you didn't start without us!"

Wolf replied, "Nope, you're right on time."

Snake soon felt the door unlock, laughing as he said while opening the door with his tail, "Alright, here we-,"

Suddenly, all the Bad Guys gasped in shock to find that the vault… was empty! Completely empty… or so it seemed.

Wolf and his friends entered the vault in a state of shock with Wolf exclaimed, "W-What is this?! Where's the money?!"

Piranha and Shark frantically looked around as Piranha shouted panickly, "Nothing, zero, nada, amigos!"

Shark added, "It's like someone got here before us!"

Tarantula then commented, "But that's impossible! How could anyone have been in here before we did?"

Snake suddenly sensed something, "Hold on. Something doesn't feel right about this vault."

He slithered around, using his tongue to smell something, before he approached the back wall and saw what looked like a painting of a dog on it. Curiously, Snake took the painting down and saw that there was another vault door spinning handle on it. And when he took careful notice of it, he realized: this wasn't the real vault! The vault was in the back wall!

Snake gasped, "The real vault's back here, guys!"

Wolf was shocked, asking, "What? But then, why would-,"

Suddenly, there was a loud BANG and the Bad Guys turned their heads and saw that the "Vault" entrance they came through had metal bars, like the ones at prison, go up and trap them in, and the door swung shut! And to make matters worse, a loud alarm played, with red lights flashing on top of the ceiling!

The Bad Guys all panicked, with Shark shouting, "There was a trap!"

Piranha added while frantically gripping the sides of his head, "And we're stuck in it!"

Wolf grew nervous, "this was not supposed to happen! This bank wasn't supposed to have a trap!"

Tarantula commented, "Hornet would've known if there really was a trap or security system like this because he would've done research about the bank before we started to rob it!"

The Bad Guys grimaced, knowing that if Hornet was with them at the moment, they would've known if this fake vault was a trap or not.

Suddenly, Wolf pressed his head against the door and heard noises outside, "Oh no, the police! They're about to come in!"

Shark added, "Hornet would've done something to hold them off before we could escape!"!

Piranha was panicking, "Ay caramba!Without Hornet, we're screwed!"

Wolf tried to regain control, "Don't worry, we can try to get out of this! Snake, unlock that back vault door! Everyone, once we are inside, grab as much as you can, and then, let's bust out of here!"

Snake replied, "On it," and quickly got to work trying to unlock the new vault door as fast as he could.

Outside, the police heard the alarm go off and were swarming inside the bank, heading towards the security door to go and bust who was robbing the bank, with Chief Luggins leading the charge.

All 5 Bad Guys heard the police coming closer with Tarantula shouted, "Snake, go faster!"!

Snake was close to freaking out, hissing out, "I'm going as fast as I can! How close are the police?!"

Shark heard the loud shouts from outside the door, and replied frantically, "Uh, very close!"

Snake groaned, "That doesn't help me! I need more time!"

Piranha then shouted, "We don't have more time! Hornet would know how close the police are if he was keeping watch!"

Wolf realized that this heist was not going as planned because without Hornet keeping watch, then they weren't going to be able to successfully get any money and slip out without getting caught.

With a heavy sigh, he then declared, "You know what? Snake, stop! Everyone, forget the money! Let's just find a way out and fast!"

Tarantula covered her ears, "I can't think with all of this noise!"

Shark added, "And how are we gonna get out?!"

Wolf looked around the trap vault and saw a trap door on the floor that was their chance to get out. He quickly pulled out a crowbar and used it to open the door, "Everyone, go through here!"

One by one, all 5 Bad Guys hopped through the trap door, with Wolf being last as he slipped through and closed it in just the nick of time.

Just as the door was closed firmly, the fake vault door was opened as the chief of police walked inside, inspecting it to see if the "robbers" who tried to steal from the bank were able to access the real vault. She completely ignored the secret trap door, and saw that the real vault door was luckily still locked, "They got away, but luckily couldn't get the door open in time. They couldn't have gone far."

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Underground, the trap door the Bad Guys used to escape led to a very stinky escape route: the sewers below the bank. All 5 Bad Guys had to hold their noses as they trekked through it, as Snake asked, "You couldn't have picked a better escape route?!"

Wolf replied, "Hey, easy, at least we got out in time before the police caught us."

Shark then commented, "But did the escape have to be so…smelly?"

Even Piranha couldn't handle the scent, "I'd rather smell one of my own farts than this!"

Tarantula groaned while hanging onto Shark's shoulder, "Next time, if we're gonna do a heist, we need ALL of us for it."

Wolf nodded in agreement, "Agreed. We really need Hornet with us to do a successful heist. Without him, not only are we incomplete, but our heists are too."

Once the Bad Guys were able to successfully go through the sewers, they found their car located in the secret spot, and drove away, unnoticed by anyone, and headed back to their hideout.

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When the Bad Guys made it home empty-handed, they changed back to their regular clothes, and noticed Hornet still wasn't home yet.

"Okay, so Hornet hasn't come home yet since he got the job. What are we gonna do?" Wolf asked for suggestions

"Get him to quit his job," Piranha said.

"Piranha!" The rest of the team shouted at him

"Come on! Ever since he got his job, Hornet doesn't have time for us anymore!" Piranha scoffed, missing his best friend.

"It's just one day," Shark reminded as he was considerate for Hornet.

"Yeah, well, he will do it again the next day," Snake guessed, "We can't do all of our missions without him."

"Since Hornet got a job…, why don't we get jobs ourselves?" Tarantula inquired.

The boys stared silently at Tarantula confusingly. Them? Having a job like Hornet? Sure they dreamed of getting dream jobs since they got out of prison, but would that be so soon?

"Is that even possible?" Shark questioned.

"Yeah, people are slowly accepting us,chico," Piranha responded, thinking that people won't just hire them because of being former criminals.

"It works for Hornet," Wolf stated, "Besides, if we can't do robbery without Hornet, we can't get much money like we use to. And I can't find myself a job. I have to stay and take care of our home."

"I'm staying too," Snake raised his tail as he told Wolf, "You need a helping hand around here, Wolf."

Wolf smiled at his best friend appreciatively.

"Well, I guess we have to find jobs then. Just easier and simple than our dream job of singing, acting, and being an accountant," Tarantula said.

Shark picked up a newspaper, containing a job ad on one page, "We can find jobs here in this newspaper." He opened the page as he, Piranha, and Tarantula looked up at the ad to find the right job for them.

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In the Chocolate Factory, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula started working in the factory separately, but as their work began, they made many mistakes, like Piranha messed up the whole kitchen with chocolate, Tarantula accidentally poured herself with chocolate milk powder into a giant pot of water, and Shark disarranged the chocolates in their boxes.

The forewoman then led the three to another room where there was a conveyor belt, and two holes from each side.

"All right, you three. Listen carefully. This is the wrapping department. Now, the candy will pass by on this conveyor belt, and continue into the next room where the girls will pack it," The forewoman l explained, "Now, your job is to take each piece of candy, and wrap it in one of these papers, and then put it back on the belt. You understand?"

"Yes sir… yes ma'am," Shark corrected himself as Piranha and Tarantula nodded.

"Let her roll!" the forewoman shouted at the next room, but the conveyor belt didn't move when the three Bad Guys were ready, "Let her roll!" She shouted again, but the belt still didn't move, "Well, wait here. Somebody's asleep at the switch."

The forewoman marched out of the room as the three Bad Guys sat down at the side of the conveyor belt.

"What are you guys doing up here? I thought you were downstairs boxing candies," Tarantula said.

"Oh, they kicked me out of there fast," Shark answered.

"Why?" Piranha asked.

"I kept pinching them to see what kind they were," Shark stated, then asked Piranha and Tarantula, "What about you guys? I thought you two were making chocolates."

"Turns out, chocolates aren't good for swimming," Piranha said.

"And I'm not one of the ingredients," Tarantula added.

The forewoman came back as the three Bad Guys sat up straight when she appeared, "All right, you three! Now, this is your last chance. If one piece of candy gets past you, and into the packing room unwrapped, you're fired!"

"Yes, ma'am," The three nodded.

"Let her roll!" the forewoman yelled at the next room as the conveyor belt started to move.

When the forewoman left, a chocolate came out as Piranha, who was next to the hole where the chocolate came out, passed one piece to Shark. Shark then quickly passed another piece to Tarantula. They quickly started wrapping each chocolate passing them, and placing the wrapped ones back on the belt that sent them to the packing room. Tarantula's wrapping technique was like she wrapped up her food with her web.

"Well, this is easier," Tarantula chuckled.

"Yeah. We can handle this okay," Piranha agreed.

Everything ran smoothly and easily, but then, the belt started to speed up, and the pieces doubled in volume. There are fewer gaps between the chocolates, and the three couldn't keep up with the moving candies. They started to wrap the chocolates as quickly as they can, but at the same time, they put the chocolates aside from the belt, and ate some of them since they couldn't wrap them as quickly as they could.

"Listen… Guys, I think this…" Shark was about to say something, but he couldn't concentrate on collecting the chocolates.

"I think we're fighting the losing game!" Tarantula yelled as she ate some of the chocolates passing by her.

Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula hid some of the chocolates in their clothes, and ate some as well. Luckily for Shark, it was sugar-free since he couldn't eat a lot of sugar. One of the chocolates was sent to the other room, much to Tarantula's horror because she couldn't catch it in time. The three bad Guys continued to eat the chocolates, and wrapped some of them at the same time.

Just then, the conveyor belt stopped, and heard the forewoman's voice from outside.

"Here she comes," Piranha alerted as he, Shark, and Tarantula quickly emptied the conveyor belt.

They hid the chocolates in their mouth while hiding some in their clothes

When the forewoman came in, the conveyor was already empty, and the trio's mouths were stuffed with chocolates.

"Fine. You're doing splendidly," the forewoman said proudly, then yelled at the next room, "Speed it up a little!"

The trio's eyes widened as they knew they were going to do their thing again.

When the forewoman left, the speed and quantity of the chocolates on the conveyor had become preposterous as Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula each gathered up all the chocolates, and stuffed them down in their clothes and mouths.

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Back in the Bad Guys' hideout, Wolf and Snake tried to make themselves like "Stay-at-home" dads to make a meal for their friends once they get back home.

While Snake was vacuuming, he didn't like doing this task, but he couldn't trust Wolf to use it, Wolf approached him after taking out something from the oven.

"Hey, Wolf, what you got there?" Snake pointed to the platter Wolf held in his paws.

"Oh, I made my cake for the guys tonight," Wolf replied, "Seven layers of luscious devil's food. Wait till you see it," Wolf lifted the lid to show Snake his cake, but revealed a burnt flat cake

Snake took a close eye on the "cake", and to him, it didn't look like a seven-layered cake at all, "What happened to the other six layers?"

"Well, they're all in there. Some of them just… didn't rise very much," Wolf explained.

"Well, you can put on a lot of frosting."

"What do you mean 'put on'? The frosting's already in it."

"In it?!" Snake pointed on the "cake".

"Yeah, I mixed it all up together before I baked the cake," Wolf clarified.

"Well, maybe you'd better wait until breakfast and serve it as a pancake," Snake said sarcastically.

"Oh, never mind, now!" Wolf took the cake from Snake, and put it aside, "How about your part of the meal?"

"Well, it's coming along fine," Snake said proudly, "I got the rice cooking. Hey, listen, by the way, how much do you think we should use for six people?"

"Usually, Hornet does the math," Wolf admitted since the team always depends on Hornet when it comes to Math. The little bug is a math genius.

"Well, how does one pound person sound?" Snake suggested.

"That's sounds about right," Wolf nodded.

"That's good because that's what I put in; six pounds," said Snake, "I also got the chickens cooking in the pressure cooker. Now, how long do you think they should take?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'd say about an hour and a half," responded Wolf.

Just then, they heard an explosion sound, and the pressure cooker behind them popped its lid up.

"What was that?!" Snake exclaimed.

The two turned to see the pressure cooker all steamed up, and the lid fell on the floor. Wolf and Snake rushed to the stove, and looked down at the opened steaming pressure cooker.

"Hey, what happened to my chickens?! I had two chickens in there!" Snake yelled.

"Well, they got to be here someplace." Wolf said while looking around to find the chickens Snake supposed to cook. Then, Wolf looked up, and poked Snake's back to get his attention, "Uh, Snake, are those your birds up there?"

Snake looked up where Wolf was looking, and answered, "Yeah."

One of the uncooked chickens fell on the floor. When Wolf and Snake picked it up, the other chicken fell on them too.

Wolf then picked the other chicken and asked, "Now what are we going to do?"

"Well, let's wash them off. Come on," Snake suggested while hold one chicken.

The two rushed to the sink, and Wolf turned the faucet on.

"Here's the brush," He gave one of the bristle brushes to his partner-in-crime

"Give me some of this stuff," Snake requested Wolf a can of soap powder as the latter handed it to the former, pouring soap powder all over the chicken.

Wolf and Snake cleaned the chickens with soap and brush while soaking them with water. Unbeknownst to them, behind them, a pot started to rice as a six pound of rice started to erupt. Because a lot of rice erupted from the pot, the lid began to flip very slowly until it fell down to the floor. The stove was now flooded by rice.

While he was cleaning the chicken, Wolf turned around to see the pot was erupted with rice.

"Hey Snake, what's that?!" He yelled

Snake turned around, and saw the rice he cooked overflooded the pot and stove, "Oh no!" He yelled as he quickly took the broom and dust pan besides him, "Catch the rice! Hurry up, Wolf!"

To help Snake, Wolf took the pot's lid, and scooped up the rice before throwing them into the sink. The two continued to scoop the flooded rice with dust pan and lid, but the rice still kept erupting like the pot was so bottomless.

"I guess this is why this is Piranha's territory!" Wolf yelled as he continued to scoop more rice from the stove.

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Back at the restaurant, Hornet was still working, serving orders to the customers, but he almost fell asleep on the job. He even sleep-serving, but he got time to snap himself awake. When he finished serving the last order, he dropped himself on the counter, and snored, falling asleep.

"Order up!" The chef shouted, snapping Hornet awake. He groaned exhaustingly when he found out there was another order he could serve. He flew weakly to the chef's window, and the chef said, "Order's in table number 2."

"Great…" Hornet murmured tiredly as he flew across the place where he found out his friends were the customers who ordered the food he was going to serve. Wolf and Snake had rice all over their heads while Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula had melted chocolates on their clothes, and they were all giving Hornet a death glare. Hornet was surprised as he threw the tray and the food in the air. Hornet quickly caught the tray, and caught the food with it. He then turned back to his friends, "Guys, what are you doing here?"

"It's the one place we knew we could find you!" Piranha answered.

Hornet put the tray down, and apologized, "I am so sorry about this week. I'm just so—"

"Busy! We know," Snake snapped, "Obviously, your work is more important than your friends!"

"No, that's not what I meant!" Hornet exclaimed.

Tarantula then groaned, and told him, "Seriously, Hornet, what is going on? You've acting strange since you have your job."

When Tarantula asked that question, Hornet began to panic inside, and felt the sweat on his forehead. He was fiddling his hands together while staring at his friends, who were waiting for him to answer. Hornet still didn't want to tell his friends the truth, bud… they are his friends. The only family he ever had. Why would he keep another secret from them?

But Tarantula saw the fear on Hornet's eyes as she guessed there was something wrong here, "Hornet…, are you… avoiding us?"

Hornet sputtered and laughed hysterically, "That is… I mean… Are you… Oh, guys… Yes." He admitted in guilt, "I was avoiding you for the whole 24 hours.

"Why?!" Piranha asked, feeling hurt.

"What did we do?" Shark whimpered.

"It's nothing that you guys did. It was me," Hornet confessed as he looked sadden, "I'm just afraid that if I won't be good enough, I would lose everything, even if it's a risk for me to go back for being the old me."

The Bad Guys then glanced at each other, understand what Hornet meant: About going back to his old self again if we will be good again.

"But, you're not going back to the old you," Tarantula said.

Hornet rose his head up, "What do you mean?"

Wolf then gently patted Hornet's back, "This is still the new you, Hornet. Even if you're trying to be good like you used to, but this isn't like the past anymore. This is a different kind of good."

"I already told him that," Sanke admitted as he looked down at Hornet, "And you don't have to overdo it. Heck, you already did something good that you didn't even realize yet."

"What?" The little bug asked.

"Being our friend," Piranha smiled.

"And you've been treating us like we're your family," Shark added, almost shedding a happy tear, "It's like you've already forgotten about your colony, you've been focusing on us."

Hornet formed a small smile as he agreed to his friends. Even when he kept his old goof life for a while from his friends, he couldn't pretend to be "bad" like a real bad guy. He was only being himself for his team, "I guess… that is the good thing I've ever done since I met you guys."

"You're just afraid. But now, you don't have to be afraid of being alone anymore, even if you're turning good again. You still got us," Wolf said as the rest of the team smiled.

Hornet nodded with a smile. If he would've known better, he could always come to his friends, and told them everything. He should've been honest in the beginning, and he wouldn't avoid them for 24 hours… but he didn't regret getting a job as a waiter, "Well, I better get back to work, and I'll meet you guys again tonight," he fluttered off the table, and turned to the direction where the counter was.

"Wait? So, you're going back home," Shark was surprised by this.

Hornet turned around back to his friends again, and flew at the center above the table, "Yeah. I do need some rest, and I missed going back home with you guys."

"But you're still keeping your job," Wolf stated.

"I was having a little fun," the little insect giggled as he whispered, making his friends lean closer to him, "Besides, this is one way we can cover our secret crimes we already planned to do tomorrow."

"Now that is genius, you little bugger," Snake smirked proudly as he tickled Hornet with his tail, making him giggle.

Before Hornet could go back to work, he halted himself before turning back to his friends again, "Oh, and I'm gonna do the thing I promised."

"What thing?" Piranha asked.

"You'll see," Hornet winked before heading back to work.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At night, Hornet just finished cleaning the counter as he dropped the towel down, and his bosses came towards him.

"So, you're going home tonight?" Mr. Gardner guessed while his spare arm was on his wife's shoulder

"Yep. But I'll be back, tomorrow," Hornet admitted.

"You've been working with us for 2 days, and you seemed to be… a quite nice employee, Mr. Hornet." Mrs. Gardner said nicely, "Hope you can stay with us for a while. We need a good employee like you."

Hornet nodded as he flew at the back of the restaurant where employees had to take the back door to go in and out of their working place.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the Bad Guys' hideout, the elevator went "ding!" as the doors opened, and Hornet flew into the room.

"Hey guys, I'm home."

"Hornet!" The rest of the Bad Guys exclaimed as they all charged forward at Hornet.

The Bad guys just finished cleaning the mess Wolf and snake made when they tried to cook food. Wolf, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula went for a group hug with Hornet at the center. Snake wasn't into hugs much, but he was forcibly pulled into it by Wolf.

"Whoa, whoa, it's like you've never seen me for a while," Hornet chuckled as the Bad guys separated from each other

"Eh, we kinda miss you here at home. But now you're back, we can still continue our mission as vigilantes," Wolf said.

"Yeah, I kinda miss secretly fighting crimes with you guys," Hornet confessed as they all laughed. But then, Hornet noticed there were cleaning materials resting next to the sink together, "Uh, what's going on here?"

"Eh, when the three of us were getting jobs, which we got fired on our first try, Wolf and Snake tried to cook dinner, and ended up a disaster," Tarantula chuckled while her thumb pointed at the two.

"Guess we're not so good at working at home," Wolf confessed while admitting it was a silly idea.

"Was that Piranha's thing?" Hornet reminded.

"I already told them," Piranha said.

"Oh, speaking of secrets," When the Bad Guys were now around their dining table, Hornet pulled out a bag from under his shirt, and dropped it on the table, causing it to spill cherries, much to the Bad Guys' surprise.

"You stole the cherries?!" Piranha gasped.

"As promised," Hornet recalled.

"But how? You might get caught with the security cameras that I haven't hacked yet," Tarantula inquired worriedly.

"Oh, I did worse than hacking," Hornet smiled sinisterly while rubbing his hands together

*Flashback*

Back at the restaurant, when Hornet was alone at the back of the kitchen, he flew close to the walls, and clang tight to it. He secretly moved towards the neck of the security camera footage, and bite it repeatedly until the wire of the neck were cut off. He did the same routine with the other cameras. When he took down all of the cameras, it was his chance to take some cherries from the jars, and put them in the bag. He had to find another place to hide the bag when he will fly back home, and he knew exactly where.

*End of flashback*

Snake laughed as he loved Hornet's antic with the cameras, "Can't believe you did that!"

"Well, I may have started my second chance on a good life… But I'm still bad," Hornet admitted as Piranha and Tarantula laughed proudly at their best friend.

Wolf rolled his eyes, and said, "You're never gonna get rid of it, do you?"

"Nope," Hornet shook his head as he knew Wolf was referring to his bad side that he will never get rid of, "Oh, and I, uh, I brought you a little something as part of my paycheck."

"Really?" Shark asked.

"You did?" Piranha cooed excitingly

"For Wolf, I got you a box of fries," Hornet put a plastic bag on the table, and pulled out a styrofoam container of fries

"Thank you, Hornet," Wolf couldn't wait to open the container.

"For Snake, a little bit of chicken burger," Hornet pulled a box of chicken burger from the plastic bag, and placed it in front of Snake, "Because I know you also eat chicken."

"Thanks, bugger," Snake flicked his tongue around the box where he could taste the air of chicken.

"And for the rest of you," Hornet pointed to Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula, who was shaking in excitement at what Hornet brought for them. Instead of pulling his treat out of the plastic bag, he rather pulled the plastic down to reveal his treat, "And I know you still have the condition, Shark. That's why I got each of you a five-pound box of sugar-free chocolate!" With that, he pulled the plastic down, revealing three boxes of sugar-free chocolate.

Instead of loud cheers or simply 'thank-yous', Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula groaned in exhaustion when they saw the boxes of chocolates that they forcibly ate at their work earlier. They dropped themselves on the ground, and fainted.

Wolf, Snake, and Hornet glanced at each other in the confusion about why their remaining friends reacted that way

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Credits:

Sam Rockwell - Mr. Wolf

Marc Maron - Mr. Snake

Craig Robinson - Mr. Shark

Anthony Ramos - Mr. Piranha

Awkwafina - Ms. Tarantula

Rhenzy Feliz - Mr. Hornet

Brian Stepanek – Mr. Timothy Gardener

Allison Munn – Mrs. Angel Gardener

Michael Colyar – Chef

Carolyn Hennesy – Chocolate Forewoman

Jeff Bennett - Waiter, Male Customer

Author I.M. Rally

Co-Author MasterClass60 TU4QU0I53T4IAN6L3

So you're a tough guy Like it really rough guy Just can't get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy I'm that bad type Make your mama sad type Make your girlfriend mad tight Might seduce your dad type I'm the bad guy

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hornet's nightmare was a reference to the book series where Snake was corrupted by Dread Overlord Splaarghön.

The Gardener couple was based on Tom and Anne Harper from Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn as they were voiced by the same actor and actress who played the Harper couple. Michael Colyar, who voiced the chef, was also the voice actor of Buford the chef from The Princess and the Frog. Carolyn Hennesy, who voiced the chocolate forewoman, was the actress who played as the Sushi Manager from Drake & Josh.

The scene where Wolf wasn't convinced that the floating food tray, which carried by Hornet underneath, could float or talk was a line reference from MutANT Farm 3, an A.N.T. Farm Halloween episode.

The scene where Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula working at a chocolate factory, and Wolf and Snake worked at home were both references to I Love Lucy: Job Switching

The Bad Guys scolding Hornet about his absence was a reference to My Little Pony: Student Counsel.

From now on, Hornet continued to work as a waiter in FasTogether restaurant during his free time from secret crimes and crime-fighting as one of his steps to a good life.

Special thanks to TU4QU0I53T4IAN6L3 for helping me make the fighting scene between the Bad Guys and the other criminals. And also thanks to MasterClass60 for helping me make the heist scene.

First Previous Next

[hankkd7]

[2021] Bentley's journal

~~ JAN 6, 2021. ~~

It has been more than 24 hours since the death of my mother...Tess told me that I should write down some of my thoughts in a text file of some kind, just for myself... I don't know how this will help me, considering I have never done this kind of thing before, but I trust Tess because she herself has tried it before.

More about her death...I woke up at 3:47 AM to a loud noise. Thinking nothing of it, I went back to sleep. Turns out that was the gun going off. Makes my stomach turn knowing I left her decomposing for some 8 hours...

I wasn't able to sleep that night, even with Tess just downstairs ready to comfort me whenever... I faintly remember a night terror I had...all I can remember of it is that my head hurt like hell afterwards. Tess told me I was shouting at something...so it must've felt all that real to me.

Yet, I don't know why I can't remember it... Call me crazy, but I only heard my mother whisper my name in the dead of night...I guess this is the start of the grieving process.

~~ JAN 11, 2021. ~~

We're having the funeral in Astoria, where she grew up. It's hard to guess why she'd move down to California instead of Astoria. I'm pretty sure she told me once that this house was once my paternal grandparents' house before they retired.

The hardest thing about yesterday was talking about the plans for the funeral with my uncle. It's the first time I've heard him cry...he just lost his sister just like that. I knew that they were very close.

Reading him the part in the note my mother wrote that was addressed to him was difficult too... it was just too fucking difficult to not break down into tears...My little cousins don't even know yet...

I still haven't slept yet...I feel so tired and weak...and I don't feel like eating at all... That mental image of that room is constantly flashing in my mind whenever it pleases itself to.

Is it all my fault...? Why didn't I see the warning signs...?

~~ JAN 12, 2021. ~~

I've been felling worthless with every hour after my last entry...just absolutely pathetic... I still...can't...fucking...sleep or make myself eat.

Or at least I couldn't...

Tess came over to check in on me and help me pack up for the trip up. I'll never forget the look on her face when she saw me... It look like she was worried, horrified...but also glad to see that I was okay...?

She said I looked so exhausted and hungry...she practically had to watch me eat a thing of yogurt before tucking me into bed while she gathered my things...Never have I felt so relaxed around her until now...

I ended up waking up from a 12 hour long rest to her watching a movie quietly. She also ended up surprising me with the news that she's coming up to Astoria with me for the funeral, and will be giving me a ride to and from. I remember feeling relieved that I wouldn't have to endure that nearly 5 hour long drive by myself.

Tess ordered us a pizza and we spent the rest of our evening talking...she managed to get me to laugh for the first time in three days...Over all; a really nice time bonding with each other... Since we haven't hung out in-person that much after the mass hysteria of the COVID pandemic...seeing each other and talking like nothing happened feels so comforting for me...

Not to mention she kissed my cheek while I was walking her out to her car. She had a blush unlike any other she's had.

The car ride tomorrow might be a little awkward for a tiny bit. But we both know that we're just a little more affectionate for each other than most friendships of the opposite sex...

~~ JAN 13, 2021. ~~

We've gotten a hotel room for ourselves after visiting with my family for a bit. I've been starting to feel like little things that wouldn't really bother me are now starting to piss me off.

I don't know if this is just a part of the grieving process, but I don't feel right. Like, I'm a new person after the event...

~~ JAN 23, 2021. ~~

I completely forgot about this log. I've just been so occupied...doing nothing... I emailed my professor, explaining my situation and that I would need some time off. And then after my trip...isolation. From everyone but Tess.

She's been checking in on me at least once every other day. Sometimes bringing me sandwiches from work for some decent food. I lie to her about my mental health though...I don't know why...I just feel like I'm gonna waste her time venting about everything that's bothering me.

I'm doing fucking terribly in actuality.

Is it normal to want to hurt yourself after this...?

~~ FEB 1, 2021. ~~

Yesterday, I cut myself for the first time. It felt scary...like I would die on accident... but then the urges became stronger each time I did it...

I hope I'm not obsessed with doing it...?

I've been wearing longer sleeves to hide this from Tess, I don't want her to worry about me. Neither should anyone else. Ever.

~~ FEB 16, 2021 ~~

Tess came over on Valentines day to give me some groceries she got for me. She gave me some candy, shyly of course. I keep forgetting how important she is to me. I'd literally die for her.

I think she'd break off our friendship if she ever found out what I'm doing behind closed doors...

~~ FEB 23, 2021 ~~

I think I'm going to far...I literally had to fucking do it while she was over, huh? Good thing I did it in the privacy of my own bathroom.

My cover almost got blown when she found some blood droplets on the floor. I ended up coming up with a "shaving accident".

I need to be more careful or else our friendship will be ruined.

~~ MAR 8, 2021 ~~

Yesterday was my 19th birthday, Tess took me to a nice dinner a couple miles out of town, it felt cozy in there with all this snow pounding down where we both live.

She tried her best to make it a really good birthday, and it payed off.

I don't think I cut myself at all that day...which is a first...

~~ MAR 20, 2021 ~~

I feel very bad for Tess...she's wasting her hard earned money on someone as hopeless as myself. Of course...she's stable enough to get me things but...why me of all people...?

~~ APR 9, 2021 ~~

This whole fucking thing was my fault. I can sense it. I didn't notice jack shit. I didn't realize she was suffering this badly.

I want to join her, but what will Tess think...she'll have no one to turn to when she needs someone.

~~ APR 18, 2021 ~~

I'm going to fucking snap. Just take my soul away, whatever is in control of my miserable life.

I've got no choice, if you're reading this, Tess, then I'm long gone from this hell we call life.

I'll stage it as an accident if I fucking have too.

~~ APR 22, 2021 ~~

I just came back from the hospital 7 hours ago. I was admitted on the 19th. I don't want to get into details. I'm not sure if I even can. I don't really remember what happened, but from what I've heard, I intentionally cut too deep.

Tess got worried when I didn't show up to work, so she rushed over to my place. There I was, bleeding on my bed, about to die. She held and comforted me until help arrived.

Jesus...what the fuck was I thinking? If I did end up pulling it off, she would've seen me; dead. Just like how I found my mother. Dead in her bed, the gun still in her hand.

And then what? Would she get depressed too? Would she spiral out just like how I did? I'm so fucking stupid.

Tess now knows that I had a self-harming issue. I now realize that I somehow convinced myself that she'd hate me for doing that. But she doesn't. Of course she doesn't.

She made me promise to not do it ever again, or at least not as often as I used to. The urge is still there, begging for release. Every time I look at that knife though...I can't help but think: "This thing nearly killed me."

It hurts so much, but I have to stay strong for Tess.

I'm ending these fucking journals, it makes me sick reading past entries.

[marcelinesghost13]

Greetings blog so the last 24 hours have had there highs and lows. So yesterday when I got home from work my wife had to go to the doctor. Which is nothing new you guys have been reading my blog you know she was the doctor a lot. Well when she got up to go she was beyond nasty. Letting me know how stupid I am, letting me know she should have never married me, letting me know how horrible my person I am, and the list goes on cuz I've written about that list. So the whole drive up there I was trying really hard not to lose my temper and cry my eyes out at the same time. Because her words cut me hard.

After the doctor's appointment we had to go do some lab work and we sat there for well over an hour. They gave her some time to calm down and get her brain back into order. By the time everything was done with the lab she was in a generally good mood.

I then went to the gas station and got some gas. Also I got her a Dr pepper and a chocolate chip cookie. That definitely put her in a much better mood. I got a breakfast burrito and a Mountain dew.

We then got home and she went straight to bed. I took a shower before I went to bed because I was covered in sweat and I smelled so bad oh my God the smell of myself. I hate the smell of BO it just grosses me out even if it's me.

I woke up somewhere around 6:00 in the afternoon so I got about 4 hours of sleep. I woke up to one of my furry babies bumping his nose against mine. So that was something very happy to wake up to. I then made some coffee and made us both fish sandwiches before I had to go to work.

Most of the day at work was kind of boring. They stuck me in the one place I ate the most which is called the vault. It's where they keep all the money for the casino. There are no windows and only two doors to let you in and out of the Vault. I hate that place because it fucks with my claustrophobia. So I do what I normally do to survive that moment and work and that's by taking off my glasses and not seeing shit lol.

Then at closing I helped with what we call key and I got to be with one of my favorite count members changing out the money tills out of the slot machines. You talk to me about him having some issues with his boyfriend cuz he's older. I try to give him some advice the best that I could especially since I'm the same generation as my friend whose count number's boy.

After key was over I walked around with my girl. Her and I did our security checks like we're supposed to until we get to go home. She really made me feel normal for once in my life. We talked about sex and relationships and a whole bunch of other things. I really did like the conversation it was nice to talk to someone for once that has the same perspective and view as I do.

After I clocked out I did my normal getting out of my uniform and feeding the furry babies. It was also very glad to know that my wife was very exhausted and all she wanted to do was sleep. As you can tell from the beginning of this blog she is definitely not a fucking morning person. So I definitely had some highs and lows today but overall it was actually a really good day and that's really nice for once. Having a day without any fucking drama from anyone definitely helps my mental state. And talking to my girl she has no idea how much I enjoyed the conversation and how much I needed to talk to someone in order to feel normal for once. My wife is definitely a prude when it comes to a lot of different topics she just thinks they're weird.

073120240816

[nathank77]

3/19/24

5:41 a.m

So last week I ended up taking a higher dose of xanax multiple days. 2 days in a row. Then the day after a half. And then like 2 days after a half...

I also started mixing Benadryl and hydroxyzine in to the days I took the half because I had taken the 1 mg so many days..

I might have fucked myself. Let me go into depth.

To start I've noticed on Xanax I can usually fall asleep in 2 hours and stay asleep for 5 hours. If I get up to pee I'm fucked... I end up tossing and turning and being unable to fall back to sleep. If I don't pee I can usually pass right back out..

Sometimes I pee and I've been taking hydroxyzine and Benadryl right after I go so I can fall back to sleep and get my 7 hours. It has worked...

I'm worried those other days I took the half and mixed hydroxyzine and Benadryl in when i took the xanaz not hours later bc i had taken a 1 mg so many days that week. I mixed in the hydroxyzine and Benadryl bc of the interaction of sedation...

So out of these two weeks, I have fall asleep on a half mg of xanax twice... without adding Benadryl and hydroxyzine in a couple hours later to knock myself out...they were spread out like the 9th and the 14th or something like that.

Two nights ago I took the pill at 5:41 a.m and I ended up not falling asleep and taking a Benadryl 25MG and hydroxyzine 25MG at 8:22 a.m. I ended up closing my eyes ay 8:41 a.m and falling asleep prob by 9 am. I woke up at 3 p.m. I got about 6 hours of sleep. It wasn't enough but luckily the hallucination wasn't any worse..

Last night 3/18 I took the half at 5:05 a.m. I had one of the worst nights ever. I took benadryl 25MG and hydroxyzine 25MG at 7:42 a.m....

Then I still hadn't slept and I took another 25MG of both hydroxyzine and Benadryl at 8:55 a.m. I closed my eyes at 9:12 a.m and failure. I opened them at 9:48 a.m and I tried again. I either fell asleep for like 30 minutes maximum from 9:48-10:33 cause it is a little fuzzy but I def didn't sleep the entire time.. I must have fallen asleep by 11 a.m I didn't dose anything else past 9:48 8:55 a.m. I figured I'd just accept I couldn't sleep. I slept from 11 a.m to 3:30 p.m. I got only like hours of sleep maybe 4 hours and 45 minutes. Or 30 who knows...I went to the dentist obv.. and yea the hallucination wasn't terribly bad or anything but- I'm exhausted... and I'm aggravated. It's not terrible but it felt worse today than yesterday or a day with full sleep. I mean but I can attribute that to less concentration and focus as well as just irritatiablity...with lack of sleep and not being able to switch from Xanax to something better for sleep such as estrazolam... but yea it wasn't like the voice got creative or intelligent but it seems more intrusive and more stressful to deal with.

The days I slept without hydroxyzine and Benadryl on a half MG were, 3/16 but I did take Benadryl and hydroxyzine at 1:03 p.m when I woke up and peeded. But nonetheless a half MG did knock me out without any other drug. And then 3/9 which I didn't use hydroxyzine or Benadryl at all.

I'm worried I fucked myself but idk. We will find out. I was stressed about my dentist appt. Idk what happened Sunday.. cause I wasn't stressed. I'm hoping since the 16th occurred that will happen for me tomorrow night..

My eye doctor appt is at 3 p.m. There is no way in the world, I'm getting up for that appt with I mean even 6 hours of sleep cause I got to get up 2 or 2:30 the latest...so I'm taking the full MG tonight and I should sleep like a baby. If not I suppose I'll add Benadryl at some point and then hydroxyzine at another point... I don't think it'll come to that.

So tonight I should knock out on 1 mg.. tomorrow I'm hoping the half will be effective without anything else. I mean I have bloodwork on the 20th I'll skip it if I fall asleep late. It's not stressful I can reschedule. Tbh I'll reschedule the eye exam too if I absolutely have to. I'll see what happens. Let's cross our fingers that the half will be effective tomorrow when I'm less stressed cause I've had back to back responsibilities but yea I'll cancel worse case and sleep in.

Moving on I am seeing my doctor on the 28th about my insomnia. I'll be face to face with her and I'm going to tell her my black hairy tongue has not healed and show her as it's a direct side effect of xanax. And then I'm going to ask for estrazolam 2mg or doral 15 mg. She was only going to give me 7.5 mg of temazepam and on the benzodiazepine equivalency chart 20-30 mg is equivalent to 0.5-1.mg of xanax which is why I didn't do it.... although I did this all over the phone so maybe seeing me a month later face to face and seeing my tongue hasn't healed and it's not yeast or viral... Maybe she will hear me out. I need something equivalent to the 1mg xanax I am on.

I'm going to ask her for doral 15mg or estrazolam 2 mg and show her the chart and say the only reason I'm sleeping is fucking xanax and it saved my life but I'd rather my tongue stay this way and sleep then risk full blown insomnia.

I picked estrazolam 2mg bc they come in 1 and 2 and 2 is equal to 1 mg of xanax per this chart... it's a better insomnia benzo cause it's made for insomnia unlike xanax... and if she won't do that cause she wants to do the lowest dose possible then I'll ask for doral another insomnia benzodiazepine that comes on 15 mg tablets... it's equivalent to 1MG of xanax. I'll show her the chart, and I'm hoping face to face Interaction, and facts will help my case. I won't hold my breath. I expect I'll end up going to the psychiatrist... but Prohealth is fucking reliable af. That's the issue. Psychiatrists are not. Maybe I'll just have black hairy tongue for the rest of my life to make sure I sleep. I don't think I'm going to depend on a psychiatrist and end up getting fucked in the end....

Prohealth is truly reliable and once I get another benzodiazepine from someone else they will stop prescribing it. I may not be able to get her to reperscribe it....

So yea I'm stressed about that. Hopefully BHT and face to face will change things when I show her this chart.

At some point I may start smoking weed again, I mean I didn't need to take 400 different drugs to sleep. I slept solidly throughout the night and my fucking tongue needs to heal. I hope the 28th goes well. Weed is a big decision I'm really going to think about it and see how the 28th goes.

Also what makes matter worse is my sleep environment.. I can't sleep in silence bc otherwise I hear the voice. It's maddening. I don't want to listen to being scared bc I want cartoon mental pictures. Happy ones. Not realistic ones...

So I listen to bobs burgers or American dad. Something with a lot of dialogue bc it tunes the voice out. Unfortunately there is all this singing and loud noise. Bare in mind I turn it down as much as I can where I can hear the dialogue clearly but i do need hearing aids.

Bobs has to be at like 18 or 19 volume. American dad for some reason can be at 14 volume. Nonetheless it isn't a good slept environment. Loud noisy singing and clattering versus hearing happy birthday 50000 times. And not to mention trying to think positive thoughts and think over aka align with the voice so that's what I hear. I gave up on that months ago.

Either way I guess I'll figure it out. I just took my 1 mg Xanax. And I fucking hate Kristen fucking dew. I've don't nothing this week with her but later this week I will. I got to get my general health taken care of first.

Weed may need to happen cause I feel like a pilll head popping everything I can just to hit sleep stage one.

Beyond that- my thyroid is clearly close to normal. No doubt. Graves can cause insomnia. I haven't seen a single fucking improvement in that regard unfortunately.

Hopefully it's still higher than it should be and once it normalized it fixes it... idk... I have options but it's getting down I might as well smoke a little weed everyday and go back to sleeping like a baby at the risk of making psychosis worst. I'll still have xanax....

Idk. I don't feel entirely hopeless but I am truly worried about the half MG losing effectiveness. Nonetheless I will sleep everyday and soon it will be 7 hours again. And I'll cancel things if i have to, to get my 7 hours. There is no reason to stress out.

I just wrote a book but it helped. Cause this is one of the reasons I can't sleep in silence. Even if this POS hallucination shut up finally, I don't have a ton of positive thoughts but if it did stop Id start listening to being scared again.

Lastly I hate having to see Mike again. I saw him today and he cut me off so much as I tried to explain my Xanax/sleep schedule thing that it took me about 55 minutes to get it out when I would have been able to say it all in 25 minutes if he just shut up about movies and BS and let me talk... I had so many othet things I needed to talk about hence the book I just wrote.

I got to find another therapist who can read a fucking room stfu and listen and wait until I stop talking. I want your input but fucking let me finish what I'm fucking saying so I can get it fucking out

I'm ending this rant with the equivalence chart cause it's factually I need a higher dose of another benzo. I carefully picked estrazolam and especially doral cause it comes only in 15 mg capsules...... please prohealth fucking help me.

[purplesurveys]

1793

Yesterday

1) What was the weather like? Did it change your plans in any way? It was extremely sunny during the day which kind of sucked, because yesterday my family played host to a family reunion on the rooftop and the weather made things feel a little uncomfortable. In the afternoon, while the sun did hide for a bit it ended up being super humid anyway, so in either case it really just ended up being a super sweaty affair lol.

We addressed it by making sure our aircon in the living room was turned on the entire afternoon, so that anyone who starts to feel super hot or dizzy can choose to go down – which is why it ended up pissing me off when I caught a few people not even trying to hide their bitchings about how hot it was at our place and yet refused to go downstairs when I offered. Complaints are classic Filipino guest things but something I've never learned how to tolerate so I was pretty irritated from the get-go of that damn reunion.

2) What did you do yesterday, anyway? Helped my parents host said reunion, for the most part. I was so exhausted from all the walking and hosting and socializing all over the house so ngl I was knocked out from like 5 to 8, right after people left ha. When I woke up earlier this evening I spent a few hours playing a game on my phone and now I'm here winding down with a couple of surveys. Not a very eventful Saturday which is how I prefer my weekends to be.

3) Did you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner? What did you have? I didn't have breakfast as usual. Lunch wasn't a full meal for me, I just got like 3 pieces of sushi from our reunion spread. I also didn't have dinner and just made a cup of coffee which is still right next to me.

4) Did you do some form of exercise? What? If going up and down the stairs 200 times counts as exercise then it would be that.

5) Who did you spend the most time with? My sister. Out of the huge crowd at home, we knew each other the best so we stuck together, lol.

6) What television shows or movies did you watch? I finished Gyeongseong Creature super early on in the morning (like, technically I was watching it from Friday then it bled into the midnight hours of Saturday haha), then I also played a couple episodes of Friends for the very few people who were in my age group in the reunion.

7) What time did you get up and go to bed? I got up at like 9. Went to sleep at 3 AM earlier.

8) What was the best bit about yesterday? I can't decide between watching Gyeongseong Creature and getting to eat sushi.

9) What about the worst? Being bombarded with work messages on a Saturday. My work! Makes me! Depressed!

10) Did you talk to anyone on the phone? Who? Why? My mom needed help ordering additional food for the reunion so she called me up while she was doing last few errands at the grocery so I can take care of it.

Today

1) What time did you get up? I just got up and it's currently nearly a half hour past 8.

2) What are your plans for today? I'll be taking my family to my favorite ramen place for lunch, then later in the afternoon I'll be seeing my close friends for our super late Christmas party.

3) Have you eaten any meals yet? What did you have? None yet. I don't mind not eating for a few more hours because I'll be eating a lot today lmao, so I'd rather save up the hunger so I can fully pig out for both lunch and dinner.

4) Are you planning on seeing your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend? Yup! I'm seeing Angela, Reena, and Hans later for dinner/Christmas party. I don't think we've been together since...August? In any case, we'll be at our fav Korean spot so I'm looking forward to it.

5) Does your favorite television show air today? Breaking Bad ended 11 years ago.

6) Have you spoken to your parents yet? Nopes.

7) How many texts have you received? I haven't gotten anything yet for today.

8) Are you planning on going to bed early? I never do on Sundays because I never look forward to Mondays.

9) Have you done anything remotely productive today? Nope. The full load of my day will start in like an hour when we head to our usual Sunday mass and after that I'm going to be traveling everywhere hahaha. BGC for ramen, then I might have to shop for clothes for my Seventeen concert next week, then head home so I can drive out for dinner with friends.

10) How much money did you spend so far? Are you planning on spending more later? None yet as it's only 8 but I am for sure going to be pulling out my card a few times today.

Tomorrow

1) What time do you have to get up tomorrow? Around 8.

2) What do you hope the weather will be like? Chilly but not too chilly. Cold weather feels so good that it makes me miserable when at work, because when the weather is comfy like that all I want to do is rest. So it'll be nice if it were cold, but I hope it's not too comfy!cold that all I'll think about is why I'm not in bed, lol.

3) Is there anything you’re dreading about tomorrow? The fact that I have work and that it's Monday.

4) Is there anything important you need to do, or can you just relax? Nope, can't relax.

5) Do you have plans to see your friends? No, I never have time to during weekdays.

6) What do you hope will happen tomorrow? I hope my schedule will be nice to me.

7) Are you going to wake up at home, or somewhere else? Just at home.

8) If you don’t have any plans, what do you think you’ll end up doing? I'll be working.

9) Do you have to get a work out in at some point? Nope.

10) Will you be working or studying at all? Yes.