#id build a temple for her

[skiipst]

more fem xie lian because i said so.

[foccaccia]

never watched an hbomberguy video thru but i started this new one bc ive seen 3847399349 posts abt it and it is making me once again ready to eviscerate one of my old college professors

[seung-mong]

everyone adores you (i hate that i do too) - kim seungmin

includes: seungmin x reader, friends to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers?? (kinda academic rivals vibe) college au, soft dom! seungie, everyone knows they r in love except them, kinda slow burn? idk, fluff, angst, quick vanilla smut scene at the end, unprotected sex, possessive seungmin, creampie oopsie woopsie, felix is lowk seungmin's downfall lmao

a/n: the people have chosen, thank u for those who voted on the poll!! i know this is so ridiculously late but ive been in a writer's funk lately and ive just been so unmotivated #rant anyway i hope you guys like this one:') chan x hybrid felix x reader up next?? :00

wc: 12k YAPPING ofc my longest fic is of my husband #seungminlover #myMan

"there's nothing i can do for you, mr. kim. you failed to submit the third reflection essay. i have been considerate with your other late submissions..." the middle aged professor sighs, bringing a hand to his forehead and massaging his temples in frustration.

seungmin's hands wrap tighter around the strap of his bag, nylon almost burning against his palm due to the friction. "mr. park," he almost whines, leaning forward in his chair.

seungmin's desperate. he needs to pass this class, a prerequisite to all of his majors. he'll be damned if he takes his classes later than everyone else. "please, there must be something i can do. anything for extra credit. i really really need to pass this class." his voice slightly breaks, so close to tears. he can feel the red hot embarrassment that washes over him at the thought of having to explain why he cant enlist in the same classes as his friends.

he's never gonna hear the end of it when he tells his parents, always hard on his ass about biting off more than he can chew and he's always shrugged them off. how is everything so different now? in highschool he was juggling acads, being president of the student council, being in choir, dance, band, and the debate team. and now? four classes and a stupid glee club and hes falling behind.

his worst fear.

the older man swallows thickly, obviously uncomfortable at his student's sudden show of vulnerability. "mr. kim, i really want to help you. but im afraid there's no extra work i can give you to help you raise your grade.

seungmin shakes his head, slumping deep in his seat.

"normally i'd offer that you could check some papers and-"

"i'll do it!" seungmin yells, almost jumping out of his seat.

"but another student has already offered to be my teaching assistant for this term for extra credit as well.... unless you could convince them to split the workload... id consider raising your grade."

"sir, anything! who do i have to convince?" seungmin lets out a sigh of relief. and he thought all hope was lost.

"miss y/l/n. do you know her?"

fuck. all hope is lost.

you huff as you push open the heavy metal doors to your apartment building, canvas bag filled to the brim with papers you're supposed to check. the weight is heavy on your shoulder, strap digging uncomfortably into your skin. the sting lingers as you waddle over to your apartment locker, dropping the bag as you dig into your coat pocket for your keys.

"oh, y/n! im glad i caught you." you turn around to see a kind face smiling at you from the foot of the stairs, long blonde hair tied somewhat neatly to keep strands away from his neck. stubborn clumps of hair fall over his forehead, sticking to the skin in a thin sheen of sweat.

"hyunjin?" you squeal, leaving all your bags right there on the floor as you run towards your childhood friend. your arms wrap around his neck as he laughs, arms coming up to wrap around your waist. you nearly knock him off his feet from the force that you throw yourself at him, but he cant blame you. it has been way too long.

"but... what are you doing here? i thought you were still in paris?" you chuckle, breathless as you pull apart from him.

"non!," he teases, but his smile quickly shifts. "due to some, ah- unfortunate circumstances, i had to return home a little earlier than i had planned," he shrugs, grabbing your arm and hooking it with his.

"oh cut the bullshit, hwang." you laugh, pulling him towards your locker. "tell me what happened," you groan, bending down to pick up your bag. hyunjin, ever the gentleman, quickly reacts from beside you, taking it away from you before slinging it over his own shoulder. "tell me what really happened, hm? it's me." you huff, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

he smiles sadly at you, shaking his head. he knows he cant lie to you. "how about we catch up over a cup of coffee, huh? my, ive been looking all over campus for you and when we finally meet after three years you dont even invite me in?" he pouts at you.

you roll your eyes at his dramatics. nice to know he hasnt changed that about himself. dare you say paris has only fed his dramatic flare? "let's go have some coffee somewhere else then, my apartment's kinda messy right now. oh! have you told felix you're back? you guys are... okay now, right?" you're careful to watch his expression at the mention of his past lover.

"no, he doesnt know im home. it kinda defeats the whole purpose of the surprise, you know?" he retorts, watching you with a fond smile as you shove your phone and keys back into your pockets. "and yes. felix and i are alright, thank you for asking."

"well, i'm sure he'd love to see you again. i know where he's working. maybe we could drop by for some drinks?"

hyunjin hums thoughtfully at that, chuckling a bit once you push open the damned metal door. "i guess it wouldnt hurt to say hello? besides. we have been... talking again."

"oh is that so?" you feign disinterest, eyes trained on the leaves that crunch under your feet.

he hums once more, squinting when he looks up, the sun beaming against his face. how he's missed its' warmth. paris was often gloomy. "we discussed possibly trying again." he says calmly, sighing with content.

you falter, "that might be good. ive always known you guys still loved each other! besides, you guys were young and stupid."

"that we were." hyunjin laughs. "well how about you and... ah- he who must not be named?"

you tense a little at that, opting to play it off with a shrug. "havent seen him around much, actually."

"well that's odd. you three were the only ones from our highschool to pass SNU and you guys dont keep in touch?"

"well i dont keep in touch with people from highschool much." you bite back.

"well how about me and felix?" he challenges.

"yea. just you two."

"arent you two in the same major?"

"we have different schedules. never aligns."

"but yuna and lia said-"

"i just dont see seungmin much, alright? that's that!" you groan, shoving your hands into your pockets.

"oh my dear y/n, nothing has changed! have you tried to patch things up with him? after all we were, hm what did you say, ah- young and stupid?"

"well he certainly was." you mumble, and hyunjin bursts out laughing. he throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer against his side. "god, i've missed you."

felix absolutely adores his job. he gets to help bake in the kitchens in the morning, and then he gets to make such fun little drinks while listening to music he chooses. he loves his coworkers, and his schedule is flexible, what with the manager knowing how most of his staff are all college students. the one thing he hates though? dealing with rude customers.

"i apologize, sir. our drinks are served in plastic cups as most of our customers dont finish their drink here, it's easier to take out in case you need to leave in a hurry." felix can feel the sweat start to form at his hairline, trickling slowly down his forehead as his cheeks twitch in a forced smile.

"well if i knew you served it in plastic cups, i never would have ordered!" the middle-aged man in front of him yells, eyebrows raised. students in the cafe have started to look over, trying hard to be discreet. some look annoyed, others clearly show how they feel sorry for felix.

felix tries his best to keep his smile, but he can feel anger and annoyance rise in him like hot water boiling deep in his gut.

"what the fuck is the difference??" he wants to scream, grab the stupid plastic cup from his stupid chubby fingers and throw it right in his stupid ugly face.

"im sorry sir, is there some kind of problem here?" a calm voice calls from behind the man, who turns around in surprise.

seungmin stands with his hands in his pockets, a small smile on his lips. he's dressed in nothing fancy, a university hoodie and some sweatpants. he's only supposed to catch up with felix as he busies himself around the cafe after all. his hair is tucked neatly in his cap, the perfect image of your average college student.

felix swears he's an angel sent from the heavens.

"this is none of your business, kid." the man snorts disgustingly, waving a chubby finger in seungmin's face.

"well, actually this is a public space and you're holding up the line. so yea, it kinda is my business. besides, you're on university grounds, i have every right to be here as a student." seungmin says coolly, taking a step towards the counter so he's able to somewhat position himself in between felix and this gross ugly man.

"listen, i'm a paying customer, so-"

"and the staff has the right to refuse service to anyone unless on the basis of race, religion, or ethnicity- isn't that right, felix?"

and its like suddenly felix has found his voice. he stands a little taller, leaning forward to get closer to the man's face. "that's right."

"and you're not refusing to serve this man because hes white or anything, right?" seungmin eggs him on, throwing the man a somewhat bored look.

"no. its because hes an asshole."

"hey-" the man steps forward, hands raised.

"well you heard him!" seungmin cuts the man off before he can continue, fully stepping in front of felix now. "if you dont leave within the next ten seconds, i'm calling security. they take peace and order on school grounds very seriously, you know?"

the man huffs, turning around and slamming the door behind him so hard that the little bell that jingles near the doorframe rattles wildly seconds after he's left.

"i dont know how you deal with assholes like that, felix. id probably lose my mind." seungmin sighs, throwing his friend a tight lipped smile.

"you kinda get used to it. but i've just been so tired this finals week that i dont even have the energy to stand up for myself anymore." felix shakes his head while he wipes the counter down.

seungmin nods understandingly, lunging for the man's untouched drink before felix can throw it. "this is paid, isn't it?"

"well, yes but-"

"alright, felix look. i have a problem." seungmin slides easily into one of the stools by the counter, taking a deep sip of the man's mystery drink.

felix nods in understanding, rearranging trays and cleaning up as much as he can.

"well actually, it's more of a favor? i dont know."

felix only hums, used to seungmin's rambling by now. seungmin's just like that, needs to talk to himself aloud a little before getting straight to the point.

"im actually screwed and there's no one else i can talk to because well, there's no more shame between us, yea? we've seen each other naked and ive seen you at your lowest low and youve been there for me and-"

"wow, this is pretty serious, huh?" felix jokes, pulling up a stool so he can sit in front of his friend.

"i think i'm gonna fail a class." seungmin spits out, holding his breath immediately after as he gauges his friend's reaction.

felix's smile slowly disappears. his mouth opens and closes like a fish as he tries to figure out what to say, in a state of total shock. this goes on for about five minutes before seungmin finally whines, head dropping to his hands.

"will you say something i can actually understand, felix?"

"i'm sorry i just- i dont understand. you're.... failing? you? kim seungmin? the kim seungmin?"

"wow you really know how to comfort a guy, huh?"

"i'm sorry!" felix jumps up to pull seungmin in for a half-hug, awkwardly wrapping his arms around seungmin's chest over the counter. "i just... how? why? what subject? are you sure?"

"yes, im sure. i missed a stupid submission. a major subject. look, thats not the worst part-"

"omigod you're dying. thats the only explanation-"

"no!" seungmin whines, pushing his friend off him. "the professor said he could give me extra credit-"

"but thats good news!"

"-if im able to convince... someone.... to split the task given to them with me."

"o...kay? just turn on your puppydog charm and you're good to go."

seungmin shakes his head, as if he's about to deliver such solemn news to felix that he has to pause for dramatic effect. felix rolls his eyes.

"it's... well the person is y/n."

felix stares at his friend with wide eyes, unblinking. then he tilts his head back and lets out the most obnoxious laugh, losing his breath as his neck turns a deep shade of red, the tint spreading across his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.

"you're joking! oh this is just too- oh, i cant breathe, ITS KARMA!" he suddenly yells, fighting for his life to breathe in as much air as possible, wiping the tears from his eyes.

seungmin winces, but deep down he knows this reaction is deserved.

his relationship with you is... a little complicated.

you met seungmin in your freshman year of highschool. you'd just moved to seoul, the New Girl. as batch rep, he was tasked with showing you around on your first day, teaching you the ropes and making you feel welcomed.

"well yea, thats basically it!" seungmin finishes, pace slowing down as he directs you to the bench just opposite the school clinic. "do you have any questions for me?" he asks with a slight tilt of his head.

your eyes stay trained on the floor, as they have been the past 30 minutes that this strange boy has toured you around the school. you shake your head. seungmin doesnt fully understand it yet, but somewhere deep down, he feels bad for you. you seem like the shy type, and he knows how hard it is to adjust and make new friends. god knows how he would have survived middle school if it weren't for his friends.

"hey, what do you say you come meet my friends tomorrow during lunch break?" he suddenly asks. for the first time since his homeroom teacher introduced you, you look up at him.

he's taken aback by how pretty your eyes are.

"oh, really?" you ask timidly, voice small.

"i- i mean yea! we're in the same homeroom anyway, right? plus i think it'll help you adjust a little better if you had people you could talk to and hang out with." seungmin shrugs.

"yea. i'd really like that. thank you, seungmin." your voice is so low its almost like you're mumbling.

before you know it, you're spending your lunch breaks laughing along with felix as he embarrasses all of seungmin's friends one by one, wincing away from changbin as he threatens to lunge across the table to shut the younger boy up, hyunjin clinging dramatically onto his boyfriend's side instead of defending him.

you're spending your weekends at seungmin's house as chan makes you all listen to his new demo, han turning red in the face when his verse comes on. you're walking to school with jeongin- arms full of convenience store goodies as you make fun of your grumpy old maths teacher, leeknow following quietly behind you both, scolding you when you get too close to the road.

before you know it, you've found yourself a group of friends who makes highschool just that much bearable.

seungmin's completely enamored by you, coming to learn that you're at the top of every class that you have (except the ones you have with him, of course). you're just as ambitious as he is, joining the debate team and the mock un club, quickly joining the officers despite being a new student.

he's somewhat threatened by you, though he'd never admit it to himself, or to anyone else for that matter. you score higher than him in statistics, and he cant help the ugly feeling that settles in his chest when you show your paper to him, a bright blue 100 circled at the top.

he tries not to let it get to him, changing his mindset into seeing it as a healthy competition, a way for him to challenge himself even more in to doing better than you. it feeds his competitive side, staying longer than you in the library, sleeping later than you, reading more books.

this one sided competition makes him feel conflicted. he's out for your blood, and yet you're the same sweet, shy girl he's always been close to. you spend most of your time with seungmin, studying with him at his house, sleeping over when you've realized its way past ten in the evening, sneaking out of his house for a quick convenience store run.

"min, i'm hungry! lets go down to the store." you'd whine, voice slightly muffled against his soft sheets, tucked nice and warm under his blankets.

"go home, you've finished all the food here." he'd tease, not even bothering to look away from his homework.

"cant. you'd miss me after an hour." you'd retort, reaching blindly behind you for a plushie to throw at the back of his head.

"suppose that's true. can't help but be used to your presence when you're here nearly every day," he'd feign annoyance, exhaling loudly through his nose.

you'd pout at him when he'd finally turn in his chair to look over at you, already so at home, snuggling even deeper into his bed.

you really do have such pretty eyes.

"fine. grab your coat." and he'd try hard to fight his smile at the sound of your delighted squeals.

you found a way to break through his walls, chip away at the cement and reduce it to a fine dust which you've blown away. but he stands unguarded all the same, not even bothering to put up a fight when you wrestle your way into his heart.

he'd like to keep you there, he thinks.

sometimes he'd lie to himself and say that he tried. by your senior year, he managed to ruin the one good thing in his life.

how stupid was he?

amazing, really. how he was able to throw away three years of friendship for fifteen minutes of fame.

"how could you do this to me?" you hiss, dropping your backpack onto the floor of seungmin's bedroom. his back is faced towards you, gently shutting his door before he leans his forehead on it. he takes a deep breath, gathering enough courage to face you.

"y/n, i-"

"you embarrassed me in front of everyone. you told them everything, things i told you in confidence because i fucking trusted you. how could you do this to me, seungmin? how could you fucking do this to me?" your tears are hot, angry against your cheeks as you pace around his room. your voice grows louder with every word, reaching a scream when you stand in front of him.

"i wasn't thinking, y/n. i-"

"and for what? to make me look bad?" you laugh hollowly, hands flying to your hair in disbelief. "to make me look like some poor, fucking loser who's so mentally unstable she can't possibly become president of student council? was that your angle?"

there's a lump in seungmin's throat and no matter how hard he swallows, it just wont go down. he opens his mouth to speak, to defend himself, but his mouth has gone dry and his tongue tastes like sand.

"what the fuck is wrong with you? i thought we were friends? i thought we were best friends, seungmin? how could you air out all my shit like that? for a couple of votes? do you know how pathetic you are? is that how bad you want to be president? you're willing to throw me under the bus to make yourself look good?" you can taste the salty tears pooling in your mouth, snot slowly dripping down and creating a sticky mess on your face.

but you're too angry to care.

your chest hurts, like someone's kicked you to the ground and continuously stomped right in between your ribcage in an attempt to squash your heart. your head hurts from dehydration, and your neck is starting to feel sticky from the sweat that's pooled at the collar of your uniform.

"was this your master plan? you found out i was running against you so you sucked up to me, kept me close so you could get all the dirt? you fucking traitor, i cant believe i actually trusted you." your throat has gone raw from all the yelling, can feel the way your voice starts to come out hoarse.

"y/n, please. i'm so sorry i dont know what i was thinking. i just... when they asked me why they should vote for me my mind blanked and i-" he tries to get everything out as fast as he can, terrified you'll cut him off and start yelling again. but he can't continue because, holy shit, even he doesn't know why the fuck he did what he did.

"and you what? made me look fucking stupid so you rambled on for fifteen minutes about how much of a horrible person i am. god, if thats what you thought of me you shouldve let me know, seungmin! i couldve walked out of your life if i made you that miserable." you're starting to heave, all the air in the room suddenly disappearing.

"no, dont say that y/n. you're the best thing about me, you're my best fr-"

seungmin feels dizzy when your palm lands on his right cheek.

you cant stop sobbing, hands clutching at your chest as you shake your head. "fuck you," you whisper.

seungmin is stunned, frozen in the middle of his room with his mouth slightly open. he says nothing, does nothing as he watches you bend down weakly to grab your bag, sobbing through the motions of slinging it over your shoulders.

but then the panic starts to kick in when you push past him, your fingers reaching for his doorknob. his instincts kick in and hes wrapping his hand around your wrist.

"please don't go, please let's talk about this." his voice cracks. when did he start crying?"

you pause, and for a moment seungmin can feel the weight on his shoulder lift, all hope is not lost.

"its good to know where your priorities lie, seungmin. now i know you'll do anything to get ahead. even if that means hurting me." you tried to sound strong, but your voice comes out broken, a whimper.

"dont speak to me ever again."

you pull your hand away from him.

the weight on his shoulders is suddenly crushing.

and when he gave his acceptance speech in front of the entire student body, he frantically searched for your face. his heart dropped when his eyes locked with yours. eyes that once looked at him with so much warmth, care, and love- stared soullessly back at him.

he knew he fucked up the best thing in his life.

by the time you reach felix's cafe, hyunjin's whining had started to get on your nerves.

"i didn't ask you to carry it," you remind him, reaching for the strap.

he turns his body away from you, clutching your tote tighter against his side. "as if i'd let you carry this!"

yes, he was a gentleman. but a dramatic ass one.

"id honestly rather carry my bag than have to listen to you whine about how heavy it is."

"but it is so heavy! what the fuck did you put in here, rocks?"

you only roll your eyes, pushing open the glass door to the establishment. the tiny bell above the doorframe rings, announcing your arrival to the blonde boy behind the counter.

"oh my god, its soobin." you whisper under your breath, elbowing hyunjin in the ribs. he only looks at you puzzled, an eyebrow raised.

"he's so cute, ohmygod." you roll your eyes, quickly checking your blurry reflection on the glass door.

"not my type," hyunjin shrugs. you ignore him, walking straight to the counter.

"oh, hey soob!" you greet him, quickly shushing hyunjin when he starts to mock your airy tone. "is felix here?" you smile sweetly, trying to tame your hair from the mess caused by the strong winds outside.

"oh yea, he's over there in the booth by the window. he's not alone though," he says, wiping down the counter after spilling a few shaves of ice.

"oh, who's he with?" you ask, already making your way down the counter.

"dunno, the dude looks kinda stressed, to be honest." he shrugs, turning away from you when the bell lets him know he's got another customer to serve.

he's with a guy? he's not on a date is he? no- he wouldve told you. besides, he wouldnt have led hyunjin on either.

hyunjin follows behind you as you make your way towards the booth, heaving dramatically as he swings your tote bag off his shoulders. he crouches behind you, snickering to himself as you both slowly walk to the table, strands of felix's hair peeking out from the opposite bench.

"surprise!" hyunjin jumps from behind you, smile swiftly morphing into a face of shock, his mouth forming a small 'o'.

"holy shit, hyune! what are you doing here?"

your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. that voice-

"s-seungmin, i didnt know you were with felix."

you freeze, jaw dropped as seungmin stands. he clearly hasn't seen you yet, back facing you as he pulls hyunjin in for a hug, squeezing him tightly.

"i thought you were in paris?" felix squeals, sliding out of the booth and joining the three for a big bear hug. he's the one who finally notices you a few feet away, his smile dropping.

"y/n." he breathes, eyes wide.

when seungmin turns around, its almost as if in its slow motion.

he looks almost exactly the same, his hair a little longer, shaggier. his eyes look more tired, little bags under his eyes give away the sleepless nights he's become familiar with. his cheeks slowly turn a light pink, dusting across his nose all the way to the tip of his ears. he's dressed the way you remember him, loose comfy clothes.

he looks good, you think. you shake the thought away.

"oh, y/n." seungmin's voice is small as he locks eyes with you.

fuck, your eyes.

his first time seeing you in three years and he hates how you manage to steal his breath away. you've changed your hair, cut it a little shorter and dyed it lighter. you've pierced your ears, little sunflower earrings peaking from beneath your hair. you look so much more mature, your style has definitely changed.

but your eyes, they shine just as bright as he remembers. good to know his memory hasnt failed him yet.

"i didn't know you were coming, y/n." felix shoots you an apologetic glance, lips pursed and eyes wide.

"but i always come visit you on thursdays." you say flatly.

"yea but-"

"awh look! it's been a while since we've all seen each other, huh?" hyunjin cuts in, trying desperately to ease the tension. seungmin stays standing still, gawking stupidly at you. you try your best to pretend like you cant feel his gaze.

"yea, some of us made that decision on purpose." you mutter under your breath, but you don't miss the way seungmin's eye twitch.

felix smiles, lacing his hand with hyunjin's. "it's really been too long," he whispers, as if only meant for his lover.

"i'd really love if we could all spend some time together." hyunjin's eyes find yours, wide and pleading. "please?"

you offer him a tight lipped smile.

its already so awkward, the way felix and hyunjin slide naturally into the booth, beginning to chatter away. it leaves you and seungmin standing, stubbornly avoiding eye contact.

"do you- do you want to sit near the window, or?" seungmin's voice is small, eyes glued to the floor.

you shrug.

he nods, climbing in anyway. you take a deep breath before you move, reluctantly climbing onto the booth after him. you leave a considerable amount of space between the two of you, and seungmin can't help but roll his eyes.

it's been nearly three years, he thinks. how are you still holding a grudge against him? he clears his throat, about to start some small talk, but something stops him. maybe its the way you deliberately angle your body away from him, or the way you pull your phone out to scroll aimlessly, almost as if you were anticipating his move.

"so, how was paris?" seungmin asks hyunjin instead, shifting his body away from you. fine, be like that. at least hes not immature enough to make things awkward on purpose.

"oh, it was so romantic!" hyunjin exclaims, throwing his arm over felix's shoulder and resting it on the back of their booth. "it was a little depressing, actually. being in such a beautiful place all alone."

"well yea, but it was worth it right? who wouldve thought your one true love was right here all along." you tease, wiggling your eyebrows up and down.

"yea so is yours!" hyunjin teases you back. you only stick your tongue out.

beside you, seungmin tenses. surely, hyunjin isnt implying that he could be your true love, could he? the thought makes chest ache, an odd yearning to move closer to you, to let his fingers "accidentally" brush against yours-

"oh, soobin!" felix giggles, catching on.

seungmin's always hated that guy. from the moment he met soobin thirty minutes ago, he knew something was off. you can't date soobin, he wouldnt know how to take care of you. with his stupid blonde hair, his stupid bunny smile, his stupidly large eyes.

he bets soobin doesnt even know what your favorite type of ramen is, what your go-to snacks are, what your favorite flavor of ice cream is. important things that a lover should know.

things he knows.

oh, where'd that thought come from?

"shut up, you guys!" you hiss, checking to see if soobin is within earshot. you frown at felix, swatting across the table at his chest.

"what do you mean? you guys would look so cute together." hyunjin argues, quickly turning to catch a glimpse of soobin. you hide your face in your hands, profusely shaking your head as you sink deeper into the booth.

seungmin cant help the feeling of jealousy that bubbles deep in his gut. hes half scared hes going to projectile vomit all over the table when you straighten yourself out, sneaking a peek at the blonde boy who busies himself with creating a customer's drink.

"im probably not his type." you mumble.

"you're not." seungmin's shocked at the word that's slipped, hand quickly coming up to cover his mouth in shock.

all eyes are on him, and he can see the way you look at him, with your empty eyes staring right at his face. he hates it when you look at him like that, misses the way your eyes used to shine just for him.

"actually you know what, im getting kinda tired, i think im gonna go home instead." you blurt out, already reaching for your bag.

hyunjin's hand finds yours on the table, and he squeezes gently. "really?"

you swiftly pull your hand away. "yes. really."

"you know what, it doesnt matter. i actually made a reservation for us lixie. wasn't planning on staying long anyways. just wanted to surprise you." hyunjin sings sweetly, brushing away a stand of hair that had fallen on felix's cheek.

"yea, i think i'm gonna head home too." seungmin clears his throat.

just then, the sound of thunder roars outside, clouds a dark grey as they hang low.

fuck. just when you decided not to bring an umbrella.

"yea, i think we better get going. dont wanna get caught in the rain." felix sighs, gathering his stuff and offering hyunjin his hand.

"dont you have spare umbrellas here, lix? maybe we could borrow them. you know, just in case." as if on cue, the rain starts to come down heavily, droplets splattering against the window.

"yea, but there's only two." felix mutters, quickly slipping behind the counter to grab two black umbrellas leaning against the wall. "hyunjin and i can share, and maybe you and y/n-"

"i'm fine." you say stubbornly, arms crossed in front of your chest.

you'd rather die than spend two seconds alone with kim seungmin.

"oh dont say that, you'll get drenched and catch a cold." hyunjin sighs, grabbing one of the umbrellas from felix's hand and offering it to you.

"i'd actually prefer that, thanks." you snap, swatting his hand away.

hyunjin opens his mouth to berate you, but seungmin quickly steps in, reaching for the umbrella. "i'll handle this guys, you go enjoy your dinner."

you fume at that. 'oh he'll handle it? who the fuck does this guy think he is?'

you roll your eyes, pushing past your friends and heading for the door. you stand under the roof, crossing your arms in front of your chest as a cold chill blows past you. hyunjin and felix soon exit as well, wrapped tightly in their coats, hands entwined.

hyunjin steps towards you, pulling you in for a hug despite your protests. "be nice," he whispers, before planting a kiss on your cheek. you make a move to wipe it away, but hesitate when you see hyunjin pout.

"have a nice date." you mumble, watching as the pair huddles close under the umbrella, making their way to felix's car.

you hear the door open, and you hold your breath.

"let me walk you home." seungmin offers, his tone stern. this only ticks you off, wanting nothing more than to defy him despite his offer being in your best interest. your apartment is a good walk away, and the papers in your tote bag risk the chance of getting wet.

"i mean you- you live near my building, right?" he pleads, clicking his umbrella open. he waits patiently for you to respond, standing awkwardly by the sidewalk as you fight with your pride.

you nod, and thats all seungmin needs. he's by your side in an instant, holding the umbrella nearer to your side to ensure that not even an inch of you gets wet from the rain. his left side is already completely soaked, cringing at the feel of his cold hoodie sticking to his skin, but he ignores it. you set a fast pace, and his heart hurts at the though that it's probably because you can't stand to spend more time with him than you need to.

he notices you wince from the weight of your bag, taking a deep breath as you readjust the strap from falling off your shoulder.

"let me carry it," he's being bold, already reaching for the damn thing before you can say anything.

"i dont need any more favors." you snap, the first words you've directly said to him in nearly three years. he's glad you've at least acknowledged his existence now, but your words are sharp.

he lets it go, humming to let you know that he heard you. your pace quickens just a bit, eager to get home, out of the rain, and away from seungmin. your tote swings from the movement, getting caught on a nearby bush and very nearly pulling you back.

you lose your balance and slip, falling flat on your butt on the wet pavement. you try to brake your fall, scratching your palms in the process.

"oh my god, are you okay?" seungmin rushes down, still holding the umbrella over your head. he offers his hand to help you up, but you swat it away.

"i'm fine, alright? god, stop hovering!" you yell, pushing down on your scratched palms to help yourself up. you wince at the pain, brushing off tiny pebbles and bits of gravel from your open wound.

"y/n, you're bleeding." seungmin gawks, hand reaching out to touch yours. you quickly yank it out of his reach, almost as if you were hiding your palm from him.

"yea, thanks for the info." you mumble, trying your best to wipe away the mud that's splattered all over your jeans. seungmin moves quickly while you're preoccupied, crouching down to grab at your tote bag. he ignores your whines of protest, slinging it over his shoulder.

you let out a groan when he refuses to hand it back to you. "fine, whatever. suffer." you grumble, crossing your arms before walking away. seungmin quickly catches up to you, shielding you from the rain.

the walk home is painfully quiet. you're hyperaware of every movement he makes, every time he inhales, the way he clears his throat, as if he's about to say something before he changes his mind. all these emotions swirl angirly inside of you, most of them you cant even begin to comprehend.

because for some reason, you miss him. and it hits you like a truck when the sleeve of his hoodie grazes your elbow, the soft cloth reaching for you. it takes everything in you not to break down and grab for him, to hold him close and strangle him, to wrap your arms around him and hug him so tight he loses breath and dies of suffocation.

he smells the same, like the seungmin you remember who used to walk you home after band practice. the seungmin who held your hand in secret as you walked through the haunted house that one halloween. the seungmin who'd sing to you, alone in his room with his guitar on his lap.

your seungmin.

how could this stranger beside you be your seungmin?

how is it possible that the very same person who knows your deepest darkest secrets, your most embarrassing moments, your dreams and fears- is someone who doesn't know you at all?

seungmin stands stiff beside you as you reach the lobby of your apartment, shaking the little droplets of rain off the umbrella. he opens the door for you, urging you to enter before him.

"i'll have my bag back now, thanks." you say in monotone, eyes not even meeting his.

"let me carry it up." a bold request.

"i'm fine now, you know? im not some damsel in distress in need of saving." you mumble, standing your ground.

seungmin ignores you, already walking towards the elevator. he leaves it on hold, waiting a few seconds before you enter as well, grumbling under your breath.

once you reach your floor, you lead the way to your room, with seungmin trailing slowly behind you. he's shivering a little from the cold, the wet of his jacket only making the draft on the floor feel like ice against his skin. you notice, the little devil on your shoulder pleased at his suffering.

but there's another side of you that softens when you notice the way his teeth chatter, a shudder going down his whole body. god, you're gonna regret even opening your mouth-

"you can come in to warm up a little." you mumble, reaching into your coat pocket to fetch your keys.

seungmin merely blinks at you, unsure if he heard you correctly, or if his imagination was so strong that he managed to picture you saying the thing he so desperately wanted to hear.

but then you walk in, and you leave your door open. for him.

"oh, thanks." seungmin mutters awkwardly, reaching for the cup of tea you offer him. the warmth spreads from his fingertips to his palms, and he's genuinely grateful for the heat it provides. you only hum, grabbing your tote bag from the floor and setting it on the couch.

you pour yourself a cup, sitting directly opposite of the strange boy in your apartment. you blow away some of the steam that rises from the cup, eyes trained on the way the liquid ripples from the force of your breath.

seungmin opens his mouth to speak, but he cant seem to find the words to say what he wants to say. i'm sorry? no thats too lame. i miss you? fuck no, way too forward. how about-

"you're shivering." you point out, staring directly into seungmin's eyes.

his breath hitches. you're looking at him.

actually looking at him.

"oh, i- i didn't even notice." he lies. despite the fact that you turned your heater on, he's fucking freezing. his hoodie is heavy with rain and damp against his skin, sending shivers all the way up his arm and down his spine.

suddenly you stand, retreating into your room without a word. seungmin's confused, unsure if that's his cue that he's overstayed his welcome. but then you come back into the kitchen after a few seconds, holding a large blue hoodie in your arms.

his heart clenches when you unfurl it, revealing the old hoodie he'd given you a month before your graduation. he didnt even know you got it in the mail when he sent it. you werent even talking to him at that point. does that mean you'd gotten his letter too?

"well, i didnt wanna get rid of it, you know? would be a waste." you mumble. you toss it over to him, the cloth landing on his lap with a soft thud. he looks stupidly down at it, brain malfunctioning.

"you should change out of your sweater. you're wet. dripping all over my floor." you grumble, snatching seungmin's empty cup and setting it down on the counter behind him.

"you kept it?" seungmin whispers.

"like i said. didnt want it-"

"you kept it." seungmin turns to look at you.

his deep brown eyes are hopeful, crease in his brows giving away the myriad of emotions swirling deep in his stomach.

you stay silent, back turned towards him. you can feel the tears that pool behind your eyelids, threatening to fall as you hold yourself over the sink, turning your head completely away from seungmin. you hear the sound of fabric rustling, and your cheeks warm at the thought of him undressing in the middle of your kitchen.

the sound of wood scratching against your kitchen tiles is loud, the abruptness of seungmin standing up nearly sending the chair backwards.

"smells like you." he whispers. he cant trust his voice.

he takes a step towards you, your back still towards him.

"i think its time for you to go." you hiccup, a steady stream of tears flowing down your cheeks.

"look at me." seungmin begs, taking another step.

"you should go now, seungmin."

"look me in the eye when you tell me. then i will."

he's getting bold, standing right behind you, his chest pressing the back of your head. you whirl around, ready to yell at him, to scream at him, to slap him, to furl your hands into fists and beat against his chest.

but he's quicker, wrapping both his arms around your shoulders and pressing you close to him, tucking your head under his chin. he holds you like this for so long you figure its been hours. you stain the front of his chest with your tears, hands weakly wrapping around him, fingers curling into the fabric.

he still feels like seungmin.

your seungmin.

"you kept it. you got my letter too, didn't you sweetheart?" he whispers, as if afraid raising his voice would ruin the spell.

you sob violently against his chest, holding him tighter against you.

"i meant every single word," he squeezes you tightly, "i'm so sorry."

"you're an asshole, kim seungmin." you sob, shaking your head.

"i know, i know. i'm so sorry." he shushes you, smoothing down your hair, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.

"do you know how much it hurts?" you sob, pulling away from him. "i see you almost everyday. you have the face of someone who knows every single thing about me, but you're a complete stranger to me." you sob into your hands, pouring your heart out to him.

"i know," he sniffles, wiping away the snot under your nose with his free hand.

"no, you dont. stop fucking saying that." you pull your face away from him, pushing his hand down. "you were my best friend and you- now its like i dont know you and-" you're hiccuping, heaving, out of breath as you break down.

"i'm sorry, sweetheart, okay? i'm so so sorry. i was so stupid,"

"well yea!" you yell, falling into him when he opens his arms up to you.

he chuckles dryly at that, holding you tightly against him, as if terrified you'd change your mind and kick him out of your home. and he cant bear to see it, the way you look up at him with tears in your eyes, bloodshot red and full of resentment. he wants to fix it so bad, misses the way you'd hold softness in your eyes reserved especially for him.

"i'll make it right," he promises, nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head. "i'll prove it to you, okay? i promise."

you sniffle, shaking your head. "i- i dont know,"

"hey, look at me." seungmin pulls you away from him, bending slightly so you're eye to eye. "i promise, i'll do everything i can to gain back your trust. i just miss you so much, y/n. i- i really fucked up and to this day it remains my greatest regret."

you stay quiet, eyes flickering between either of his. "even more than when you shaved your head that one summer?" you joke weakly.

seungmin can feel his heart pounding at the sight of your small smile. he thinks he sees your eyes twinkle. "yes, sweetheart. even more than that. i just... please. give me another chance. give me a chance to make it right with you, y/n."

you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. seungmin's steadily crying, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand as he looks at you, expectantly. you stay quiet for so long seungmin can hear the blood rushing all the way to his head, going dizzy with anticipation and fear.

"you'll have to buy me lots of gummies, you know?" you mumble, looking up at him.

fuck. he'd buy you all the gummies in the world if it meant you'd keep looking at him with those eyes.

the words on your screen have started to blur altogether, vision hazy as you mindlessly scroll through the hundreds of pages of readings and notes youve been reviewing for the past...... god, was there even a time you weren't studying? even the music playing through your headphones have lost its appeal, sounding more and more like radio static.

you jolt out of your trance at the sound of books slamming against the surface of your table, which shakes under the weight. you quickly pull your headphones off and look up at the intruder, who smiles sheepishly at you.

"sorry, did i wake you?" seungmin asks, pulling up a chair beside you.

"no, you saved me." you groan, stretching your whole body until your limbs start to vibrate.

seungmin only laughs, sinking deep into his chair. he takes his cap off and runs his fingers through his hair. he scoots a little closer to you, then bends the other way to retrieve a little brown paper bag.

"i brought you breakfast." he says, rolling his eyes at the way you pout at him.

"seungmin, you didnt!" you gasp, receiving the tall cup of iced coffee with eager hands.

"i did this for myself, actually." he claims, pulling out some warm bread to share with you. "dont want you grumpy all morning. what time did you come in? you look like shit. no offense."

you shrug, taking a long sip of the cold drink.

"wait, weren't you wearing that last night when i left? y/n.. dont- oh my god, dont tell me you spent the whole night here?"

you stare blankly back at him. "our final exam is in three days."

"do you plan on staying awake until then?" seungmin bites sarcastically, and you kick his chair.

"i have to atleast get a 97 on his exam or else i wont finish his class with high honors." you whine, running your fingers through your hair in frustration.

you're so much like him, seungmin thinks. he, too, is familiar with sacrificing his happiness for a perfect grade. except now he has to work just as hard as you just to pass. the thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

"you have to get some sleep or you wont finish his class at all." he threatens, staring down at you.

you only frown, but you dont need that much convincing, as you're already closing your laptop shut, scooting your chair just that much closer to seungmin's so your arm grazes his.

"wake me up in thirty minutes." you grumble, linking your arm with his and resting your head on his shoulder. he raises it a little to grant you comfort, unbothered by the fact that his arm will inevitably start to tense and ache.

"sweet dreams," he hums, discreetly kissing the top of your head as he pretends to look at the empty chair next to you.

ten minutes pass, and you're already snoring. your fair falls in a mess in front of your face, and seungmin has to hold back from sweeping your hair away in fear that he'd accidentally wake you up. he cant help but feel his chest swell at the feeling of you leaning on him, he feels like a highschooler high with giddiness, trying hard not to vibrate in his seat.

screw the readings, he can barely keep you out of his head. this past month has been an absolute dream to him, spending every waking moment by your side. treating you to almost every single meal, keeping you company as you run your errands, crashing at yours to study and just goof around.

this is how he remembers you- full of life, playful, just a little mischievous. so positively alluring that seungmin feels himself falling in love with you. it hit him like a brick that night you passed out with papers strewn across your bed, your limbs tangling with his. he didnt sleep a wink that night, too busy studying your face. you looked so peaceful, he remembers, burying your face in the crook of his neck and holding him tightly in your sleep.

he looks down at you now, cant stop the smile from spreading across his face. he'll let you sleep for a little longer, he decides. he doesnt care if you get upset with him (you will), you deserve the rest. seungmin's about to finally clear his head of you and actually get some studying done when he locks eyes with a tall blonde from across the room.

god, of all the people.

"oh, hey! seungmin, right? felix's friend?" soobin says in a low voice as he approaches the table.

"yea, soobin right?" stupid fucking name.

"yea. hey- is that y/n?" he nods towards your sleeping figure.

ew. stop looking at her. "oh, yea. she passed out."

"damn, she's really studious, huh? ran into her late last night when she was here all alone." soobin sighs, frowning at you.

seungmin wants to puke at the thought of you spending time alone with soobin. he wants to ask him so many questions like- how long did you talk to her for? what did you guys talk about? how much can i pay you to leave her alone?

"yea, shes hardworking. i admire her for that." seungmin smiles fondly.

"oh... wait- are.. are you guys, like, a thing? or something?" soobin takes a step back and seungmin's breath hitches in his throat.

"cuz if you guys are, i can totally back off, you know?"

seungmin stays silent, weighing his options. he could lie and say you guys were dating, but if you found out, you'd probably hate him and ignore him for the rest of his life and he'd rather die than let that happen. on the other hand, if he tells the truth, soobin would obviously try to pursure you. and he knows you have a little crush on him too.

seungmin bites his lower lip, then shakes his head. "nah, we're just friends." seungmin can feel some bile rise in his throat. not for long, he thinks cockily.

"oh, cool cool. uhm, if you could do me a favor, man? just... i dunno ask her to go to the cafe again this week? maybe i'll work up the courage to ask her out or something." soobin chuckles, cheeks turning a deep red.

seungmin can only nod. finally soobin offers him a small smile and leaves. there's a heavy feeling in seungmin's stomach, almost as if he'd been punched in the gut. he cant even begin to imagine you dating someone else, in fear that he'd just break down right then and there.

its kinda pathetic, really. you're not even his yet and he's already thinking of all the ways he can get soobin to leave you alone. he wants to print a large sign that says "do not approach, angry guard dog will bite" over your head, just to keep everyone else away from you.

god, since when was he this possessive?

he spends the next forty minutes thinking of ways to get you to be his. and when you finally stir awake, the first thing that seungmin says is-

"we should stop going to felix's cafe."

obviously, you dont listen.

you go to felix's cafe anyways, except you're always alone. seungmin doesn't need to know where you go every thursday afternoon while he's in class, anyways. he never told you why he wanted you to stop coming here, but you have a hunch. a tall, blonde, stupidly handsome hunch.

"y/n!" soobin greets you warmly, leaning over the counter to get a better look at your face.

"hey, soob." your cheeks warm.

you know that nothing is going on between you and seungmin, but you can't help but feel guilty doing exactly the opposite of what he asked of you. but something's shifted the past few days you've been spending with seungmin, almost as if you're seeing each other in this new light. you push this thought to the back of your head like you always do, telling soobin your order and waiting for felix at your booth.

by the time soobin brings the food to you, your phone rings.

fuck. its seungmin.

"hello?"

"hey, my classes ended a little early today. where are you?"

"oh, uhm im-"

oh my god lie faster.

"yea?" you can hear him huffing, obviously walking around campus, probably looking for you.

"at the library." you spit, looking outside the window, frozen with paranoia. lying to him feels so so wrong.

"its wednesday, y/n. library's closed."

oh my fucking god, lie better.

"i went to meet felix." you finally admit, shrinking into your seat.

you hear seungmin sigh. "is he out already?"

"no," you mumble.

"so you're alone?"

you hum.

"im on my way."

he hangs up, and you let out a sigh.

finally, felix barges out from the kitchens and quickly clocks out, throwing his apron over his head and hanging it on the hook by the door. he smiles when he sees you, nearly leaping over the counter to get to you.

"hello, my dear y/n." felix hums, kissing you quickly on the cheek and settling on the booth opposite from you.

"hello, my dear lixie." you hum, pushing a plate of waffles in front of him. "for you, your usual."

felix groans with hunger, fixing his plate with a heavy load of syrup and a huge dollop of butter. "so, how are things? any important new updates this week?"

you shrug, taking a sip of your iced coffee. "nothing new, really..... except, i guess...."

felix hums, urging you to continue.

you let out a deep breath, shaking your head. "i think... i think something's going on between seungmin and i."

you bite the inside of your cheek at felix's reaction, mouth agape as he stares blankly at you. it takes him a moment to process before he finally swallows the food in his mouth and he lets out an evil giggle. "oh, this is... oh, hyunjin owes me so much money!"

"you prick!" you gasp, swatting at felix's arm. "you guys bet on us?"

"well, i mean, come on! it was sooo obvious, i mean, it was only a matter of time, you know?" felix shrugs, cutting up another piece of his waffle.

"no, i do not know!" you squeal, piercing the piece with your fork and stuffing it into your mouth, ignoring your friend's whines of protest. "you guys thought seungmin and i would end up together?"

"well yea, everyone with eyes thought so! come on, y/n. he's looked at you like a lovesick puppy since highschool." felix rolls his eyes. "you guys were always together, and he knew you better than all of us combined. not to mention how lifeless you both were the two years you werent talking. i mean seriously, it was like hanging out with a couple of zombies."

your cheeks warm. "but- im still not even sure of how he feels about me."

"wow. love does make you oblivious as fuck, or whatever they say." felix shakes his head, chugging down his vanilla milkshake before he suddenly remembers something.

"does that mean you're gonna let him help you grade the papers for extra credit?"

you freeze. "what?"

"yea, seungmin said he needs to convince you or else he'd fail, or something. you guys talked about it already, or?"

your breath falters, and your brows furrow. "seungmin's failing a class?"

felix swallows. he cant shake off the feeling that he said something he shouldnt have. but he could never keep a secret from you.

"well- yes. his prof said he needed to convince you to help him get extra credit."

"wait, when was this?" you ask, voice stern.

oh, felix is soooo in deep shit. "uhm, like the day you guys started talking again."

your heart drops to your ass. surely, thats not the whole reason why he was so desperate to talk to you again, right? but you cant shake away the feeling, remembering back to highschool when he'd done almost the exact same thing.

but he promised. he promised it'd be different this time, right?

"seungmin told you that he needed to convince me to let him grade some papers?" you clarify.

"yea."

"and what did you say?"

"i uhm- i told him to like, turn on his charm or something along those lines."

you scoff in disbelief.

felix is going to hell. "but, that was my advice before i knew it was you! i just... i know seungmin needed some help and he'd do anything to get a good grade so i figured he was extra desperate because he was borderline failing and i was just so shocked and-"

"felix, just stop talking." you mumble, leaning back against the booth.

felix only nods, wringing his hands in nervousness. he opens his mouth to speak, but you shoot him a glare. he falls silent again, nervously gnawing on his bottom lip.

your mind's racing, going 100 miles an hour as you go through every moment youve had with seungmin this past month. obviously, this favor is not the only reason he tried hard to convince you to talk to him again, right?

but theres a small voice inside of you, the one who remembers the harsh pain seungmin caused that's screaming, telling you to cut him off, shut him out before he can hurt you all over again.

by the time seungmin pulls open the glass door, you've made up your mind.

"he-"

"this is the last time i let you break my heart, kim seungmin." you say firmly, brushing past him.

seungmin can only stand, frozen. his heart drops to his stomach, head going fuzzy as his gaze lands on felix. he opens his mouth to say something, but he cant find the words.

"what did you say?" seungmin asks.

"im sorry, i didnt know, i thought-"

seungmin's rushing out, throwing the door wide open as he runs out into the street. he can feel his heart pumping as he pushes through crowds of people, racing towards you. he can hear his blood rushing, catching sight of your yellow sundress as you're pushing open your apartment building. seungmin's never been a runner, hell, he nearly failed PE in highschool when he was forced to run laps a whole semester. but right now? he feels like the fucking flash.

he yells for you, ignoring the stitch in his side as he manages to somewhat catch up to you. by the time he throws open the heavy metal door to your apartment complex, the elevator doors are closing, your eyes locking with his.

"fuck." seungmin heaves, bending down to rest his hands on his knees. he needs to reach you before you lock him out of your room. he knows how stubborn you can be, you could probably ignore his pleas and incessant knocking for days if you had to.

seungmin gags, shaking his limbs before he bolts up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, pushing his legs to work faster. the backpack on his shoulders is heavy but he could care less. he cant risk losing you again.

sweat flows freely from his forehead by the time he reaches your floor, and by some miracle, he catches you walking down the hall.

"y/n!" he heaves, sliding his bag off his shoulders and leaving it right there in the hall. "please-"

"go away, seungmin." your voice cracks, digging for your keys in your bag.

he shakes his head, jogging up to you before you can close the door in his face. he sticks his shoe in the closing gap, groaning when it gets stuck between your door and the frame.

"what the fuck?" you yell, backing up as seungmin forces his way into your apartment, closing the door behind him.

"no you- you have to hear me out." he's panting, vision going blurry. jesus christ, he was out of shape.

"you want to talk about it?" you challenge, shrugging your coat off and throwing it on the floor.

"yes." he heaves, leaning against the wall.

"okay, lets talk about it. is it true that you wanted to convince me to help you get extra credit?" your hands are crossed in front of you. seungmin's admittedly a little scared.

"yes, but-"

"but what? i wasnt supposed to find out?"

"no! that was before-"

"before what?" you take a step closer, crowding him in.

"before i realized i was in love with you!" seungmin yells, hiding his face in his hands.

you're silent, expression stoic. "you're sick." you whisper, unsure of yourself. your heart is racing, and you take a step back. "dont... dont say that."

"but its the truth!" seungmin's desperate know, tears welling in his eyes. it wasnt supposed to happen like this. he was supposed to take you out, confess his feelings for you properly, but now its all ruined and rushed and- oh, when he gets his hands on lee felix-

"the truth?" you scoff, shaking your head at him. "how am i supposed to believe you? with everything that... that's happened?"

"you're going to have to trust me." seungmin steps forward, hesitant. he can see the doubt in your eyes and it makes him sick. he'd run up 10 flights of stairs if it meant you'd never look at him like that again.

"trust me when i say that i was a fucking fool in highschool for hurting you, and i spend every day thinking about how if i could, i would go back in time to change everything." he takes another step forward, backing you against the door to your bedroom.

"that i wasted two and a half years of my life by not spending them with you, knowing that you were so near me, that i could easily walk up to you but i was too embarrassed, too scared you'd shut me out." seungmin's baring his soul out, but its too late to stop.

"that i thought about you every single day, thought about what could have been if i wasnt so stupid. that ive spent the last few months doing everything i can to prove to you that i would never ever hurt you like that ever again. but with you im just so stupid, i feel like im always doing the wrong things because youre all up in my head taking up all the space and i fucking love that i cant think about anything but you."

you can only stare up at him. you can see the way his gaze flickers away from you, too nervous to maintain eye contact. he reaches out to you, fingers hesitantly brushing against the back of your hand. testing. you pull away from his touch to wipe away the tear that's managed to slip away, clearing your throat. he tilts his head, hands settling firmly on your waist.

"i love you, y/n. please, you have to believe me."

he's waiting for you to say something, anything. he's never poured his heart out like that before, the silence eating away at him as he slowly spirals, overthinking every word he's said.

but then you relax in his hold, pressing your chest subtly against his. and he knows there's hope.

"are you really failing a class?" you whisper, and seungmin can only laugh.

"that's your concern?" he leans down, dragging the tip of his nose against your cheek. he inhales deeply, nuzzling against you.

"well, yes." you gently push him away by the shoulder, looking up at him. "i cant have my boyfriend failing any of his classes."

seungmin smiles, absolutely melting when you wrap your arms around his neck. "oh yea? does that mean you'll let me in on the extra credit?"

"you are on thin, thin ice, seungmin." you warn, reaching up to finally press your lips against his. seungmin absolutely melts, letting out a low groan at your taste. one hand on your waist, seungmin leans into you, reaching behind you to open your bedroom door. you gasp when you lose balance, recovering quickly when seungmin walks you backwards, never once pulling away from you until the back of your knees hit your bed.

you let out a squeal when you fall back, seungmin expertly finding his way in between your legs. "tell me you want me," seungmin commands in between kisses, hands roaming up and down your sides.

"i do. i want you." you breathe, pushing off seungmin's jacket.

"yea?" seungmin hums, pulling back to bunch up your dress until it sits just below your ribcage. he leans back, simply staring down at you with stars in his eyes.

"stop staring at me." you mumble shyly, turning your head to the side.

"dont want to," seungmin hums, quickly throwing his shirt off into a random corner of your room. "ill look at my girl as long as i like." he leans down, capturing your lips with his.

"your girl, hmm?" you hum, smiling as he kisses his way up your stomach, fingers gripping onto the hem of your dress. your breath hitches when his fingers brush against your under boob. he smiles against your skin, looking up at you.

"aren't- arent you going to take my dress off?" you whisper into the air, and seungmin stops his teasing kisses against your hip.

"well, i was going to but then.." he kisses over the fabric, planting a wet kiss in between your breasts before latching onto your neck for a playful bite. "then i thought about how i want to fuck you in it and then take you out to dinner after."

your cheeks grow red, lightly slapping his arm at his vulgarity. "doesnt that sound better, baby?" seungmin hums, playing with the hem of your underwear.

your breath goes shaky as seungmin continues to toy with you, pads of his fingers lightly pressing against your clit from over your underwear, providing the littlest bit of friction, but enough to drive you crazy.

"seungmin, please-"

"please, what?" he teases, hips pressing into your thigh. you can feel him through his sweats, hard and aching against you. he begins to grind against you, gentle enough to tease you and get him off at the same time.

"need you to touch me." you huff, frustrated.

"i am, baby." seungmin chuckles, pads of his fingers pressing against you firmly, trailing down until he teases your entrance, soiling the fabric of your underwear with how wet you are.

"you know what i mean," you whine.

seungmin only hums, lowering his sweats just enough to free his cock. he pulls your underwear to the side, exposing your cunt to the cold air of the room, making you shiver.

"you're so wet, baby. bet i could slide right in, huh?" seungmin teases you with his tip, tapping it firmly against your clit and trailing down to coat himself in you.

"god, just put it in, minnie." you sigh, grabbing at his shoulders.

"minnie?" seungmin smirks, nosing against your jaw. "i like that."

he finally presses in, slowly making sure you feel every inch of him. you wince a bit at the pain, and seungmin notices with a coo. he pulls your hands away from his shoulders to hold against your bed, fingers intertwining with yours.

"i'm sorry, does it hurt?" he coos, slowly pulling out to thrust back in.

"a little, its okay. kiss me."

seungmin obeys, leaning down to kiss you sweetly as he starts at an even pace. he's slow with it, stroking so deep you can feel him in your throat. it feels intimate this way, with his hands in yours, his chest pressed firmly against you. he pants into your mouth, kissing you when you start to moan too loudly.

"tell me you love me." seungmin sighs, resting his forehead against yours.

you nod, "i love you. love you minnie."

seungmin lets out a groan at that, pulling one hand away to sneak in between your bodies, tips of his fingers finding your clit. he starts to move them in circles, your high fast approaching.

"i'm gonna cum," you whine, squeezing his hand.

"cum with me, baby. please," he begs, holding you so tight against him you feel the air knocked out of you with every thrust. you cum with a whine of his name, fingers digging into the back of his hand. his hips stutter before he presses as deep as he can into you, groaning loudly as he mouths at your neck.

you're both sweaty and sticky, but seungmin pays no mind as he collapses completely on top of you, wrapping his limbs around you. he looks up at you when his breathing starts to even, a cheeky grin on his face.

"what," you laugh, pushing him away by the shoulder when he leans in to kiss you.

he loves the sound of your happiness, basking in it as he shifts closer to pull you into his side. you happily comply, ignoring the mess in between your legs in favor of cuddling up to your lover.

"i really do love you." seungmin reassures, and you roll your eyes.

"i love you too. really." you hum, kissing his shoulder. "now clean me up, and dont even think about falling asleep."

seungmin groans, rolling off your bed to reach for a towel to wet. "but we have plenty of time before dinner. we can nap!"

"no, i will nap." seungmin frowns, walking into your bathroom and turning the faucet on.

"and what do you expect me to do?" seungmin says once he returns to the room, eyebrows raised.

"you, will check all the papers left in my bag." seungmin only laughs, leaning down to wipe in between your thighs, careful to get every drop.

"then can we get dinner?" he asks, pout on his lips.

"yes. your treat."

"well, duh."

as you close your eyes and start to drift off to sleep, seungmin only watches, hunched over on your bedroom floor, hundreds of papers scattered in front of him. he prays he'll be able to get it together and pry his eyes away from you to actually get some work done.

he seriously doubts it.

taglist: comment if you want to be added or removed!

@pochamin22 @bee123sthings @ohnocent @hyunchannie017 @r1n4 @heluvschibi @kpop-obsessed-all-the-time @elizalabs3 @uknowme-not @bee123sthings @n034sy

[venuiscmind]

Please write some skin to skin with Ellie. I need a break from her strap!! 😮‍💨😪😫

I need rubbing pussies together and desperate fingering 😩!!!

<3

Skin. (Ellie Williams x reader smut) 18+

read this pls. and this too (info about the next strike.)

You and Ellie go out for a night on the town but things quickly get very heated.

W.C: 6.2K

Warnings: squirting (ellie squirts, i'll die on this hill), oral,semi public sex, tribbing, scissoring, fingering, multiple orgasms, getting called a good girl and a slut, spit play, tiny bit of anal, some sub dom dynamics (y'all are switches and like to change it up), small bit of exhibitionism, some degradation, praise, weed, smoking, alcohol.(please be responsible when you go out, do as I say not as I do.)

Genuinely think this is the nastiest fic I've ever written. I need to find god and touch grass.

Requests are open so keep giving me inspo cause it helps a lot.

Loved this request btw, I also got inspo from when I went out ooph.

</3.

You grinned at Ellie, looking at the girl exhale the carbon from your shared cigarette.  

"What." she inquired raising her eyebrows at you, her tone flat. She wasn't even looking at you, staring at a broad woman checking IDs of people queuing to get into the cities most favoured club. You didn't miss the furrow between them, a dead giveaway that she was not happy at that moment.  

You took the burning cigarette she held out for you. "Nothing." You smiled around the cigarette, taking a beat to look around at the streetlamps illuminating the dark pavements, letting you see the shutdown stores and closed cafes and restaurants, littered with girls strutting up and down them shivering much like you and Ellie were.

Smoke breaks were never warm but with Ellie's arm looped around you, and yours on her waist you didn't feel the cold as much.  

You loved your city at night. Filled with old streetlamps, the orange and yellow white light making you feel free and grounded at the same time. Especially with your auburn-haired girl in your arms.  

After weeks of rotting in the campus library you decided to go out, both of you dressing up for the occasion to make the most of the time you had with each other. Away from the textbooks and other students.  

"There's obviously something you'd like to say so c'mon, tell meeee." You whined at her, flicking ash off the cigarette before exhaling to the side.  

"All I'm saying is that bouncer didn't have to ask you to fuckin' smile to check your ID? The fuck was that even about." She mumbled looking off to the side at the bouncer who was doing her job checking the ID if some random girl trying to sneak in.  

You giggled and leant into Ellie's side more, putting the cigarette back between her lips, watching her inhale before holding it between her pointer finger and thumb. "Ignore her," you said, looping your now free hands around her waist, under her oversized leather jacket and dark flannel around her waist. "I'm here to get into your pants not hers." you said looking into her eyes accentuated by the smoked out black eyeliner you had given her, parting your glossed lips trying to soothe the girl's building anger.  

You took her jaw in your hand, angling it to face you before tilting it as if to ask if it was going to be an issue. She took the cigarette out of her mouth to take a breathe, never looking away.  

She looked down at your face for a moment before her full lips curved up. She brought the smoke back up to her lips inhaling deeply "You're trying to get into my pants baby?" You felt a bead of sweat drip right by your temple. You couldn't tear your eyes away from her green ones as she gripped you closer to her. Her lips were so close to yours that you could feel her breath on them, and she ran a hand down your face. 

"Maybe." 

She looked you over for a moment before giving you a peck and stepping away from you breaking the standstill moment. She gave you plenty of those, where all you could do was focus on her. The slight buzz the nicotine was giving you accentuating the feeling.  

"C'mon, before you freeze out her. Let's go back in." 

You nodded and she put threw the cigarette on the ground, stomping on it to put it out. She held out her hand to you, quickly flashing both yours and her ID to the bouncer who said a gruff "Go on." Maybe she had witnessed yours and Ellie's public display of affection and wasn't happy with it you thought.  

You hardly cared anymore. 

All you could feel was the excitement of feeling the bass in your boots as you shrugged off your coat, leaving you in your red leather, skirt and black top. Both of which hugged your curves, letting Ellie see all that you had.  

She did the same but took off her flannel too, leaving her in a black tank, jeans, docs brought out by a small chain and her rings. Fuck she looked good. Especially in the red, low lights of the club, with her smoked out eyeliner you had done for her before leaving the house. The black really brought out the green in her eyes, contrasting her pale freckled skin. You both stashed them behind some random couch of the room.  

"Drink?" You saw Ellie mouth at you, her voice drowned out by a thumping song which was begging you to dance. You nodded, watching her flag down a bartender to pour you shots of tequila. You did however sneak in your phone to tap against the card machine before she could.  

"My round!" You yelled into her ear, taking the shot from her smiling at her while raising the shot glass. She smiled and nodded, letting you pay for her this time. She always paid majority of the time, but you loved taking care of her too when you could. She raised her glass to clink against her before you both tilting your heads back to let the liquid go down your throats, burning slightly on the way. Ellie winced at the liquid while you grinned at her and said, "We have to dance!" 

Ellie laughed letting you pull her down onto the dancefloor packed with other bodies. She always said the shots went right your hips rather than your head, always begging her to dance with you after taking one. 

You slid right into the middle of it, taking her right under the lights. You hung your hands around her neck, placing your head right into the space between her neck and shoulder inhaling slightly. In turn she put her hands right on your hips. They burned into you as you both swayed to the beat of the song, slower one that you could slink against each other.  

You sighed into her. You really did love this girl, despite the occasional anger issue she had with anyone looking at you. In her eyes you were her pretty girl, and no one should be staring at you like that but her.  

The songs transitioned as the evening went on. You and Ellie had broken away from each other but were still tethered to each other by whenever your hands held onto each other, or you swayed together to the bass of the songs. You couldn't keep apart for very long, always wanting to touch the girl in front of you. You were both grinning, sweating and laughing under the red strobe lights as you danced together.  

Ellie was never a dancer but with you she tried, keeping pace but also wanting to watch you under the lights. You changed when you danced. Watching your hips roll in a way she could never outside of the bedroom or when you ran your hands up and down your body to tease her. Your instincts took over and you knew how to move. These were on of the few moments your body knew what to fully do.  

You loved dancing with Ellie because your body took over then too.  

You never broke apart for too long, letting her twirl you under the red hue or you'd rock your hips against hers. You held onto both her hands tightly as you stole a kiss from her. You melted, feeling your glossed lips push against hers and her hands slipped down from your hips to your ass covered by a leather skirt.  

You placed a hand on the middle if her chest as she deepened the kiss, slipping her tongue into your mouth but you pushed her back.  

She looked confused before grinning at what you had felt. She grabbed your hand pulling you in and whispering into your ear "smoke break?" to which you eagerly nodded.  

You both made your way deeper into the club, to find the smoking room. It was full of people who had either had enough of dancing or who had come to stand around here in the first place. You rubbed your ears as you could feel your eardrums re-adjusting to the lack of noise and easing into the chatter of the room.  

Ellie stroked your hand, keeping you grounded as you stumbled behind her. She led you to the outdoor area which had hardly anyone in there. A few people who you suspected had the same intentions as you, judging by the smell. 

You closed the door behind you, quickly joining your partner as she placed the joint she had rolled earlier and kept in her sport bra in case security patted her down and would confiscate from her in her lips. She cupped the end of it, sparking it with her silver reusable lighter patting the space next to her beckoning you to sit down so she could pass it to you.  

She blew the ash of the end of it before holding it for you to take. You hummed and slotted it between your manicured fingers before holding it up to your lips and inhaling the way you had been taught.  

"Still can't believe security didn't pat us down? Lucky fuckin' break ‘cause I didn't want my blunt going to that security guard." 

You giggled "Ellie, you have got to let that go." You brought the joint back up to inhale, the end if it lighting up as you breathed before passing it back to you.  

Now was smoking, drinking shots, and smoking a blunt the best idea? Maybe not. But you rarely went out and you figured why not? 

You felt so safe with Ellie. Her tolerance was far better than yours, and if anything should happen you felt right at home with her. You peered out past the railing keeping you near the building at all the twinkling lights. You felt Ellie come up behind you to sneak her hands around your waist. She placed her cheek on your shoulder grumbling.  

You laughed at her antics feeing her shake along with your laughter. You laughed even harder when you saw she was still holding out the blunt for you to take, it coming virtually out if nowhere but floating into your peripheral vision.  

Instead of taking it, you had Ellie keep holding onto it while you leant down and inhaled from it. Your lips brushed her long digits leaving a glittery, brownish pink, you shaped smudge on her fingers. 

She had straightened up at that point watching you, and you lifted your eyes to meet hers as you exhaled out the smoke.  

"Never." She said rubbing her thumb against your glossed lips.  

"That's a pretty colour, how come you've never worn this one?" 

"It's new baby, remember you bought it for me last week?" 

You kissed her hand, thanking her for her small, sweet gifts she always got you while out.  

Ellie couldn't stop her mind from drifting. Maybe it was the weed or the shots, but she wanted to feel your lips somewhere else. She wanted to see your lipstick and eyeliner smudged with from your actions.  

She coughed, clearing her throat and trying to keep herself grounded. She inhaled her last puff not wanting to overdo it and held it out to you in case you wanted more. 

You did the exact same thing, keeping your eyes trained on your girl, watching her breath hitch, her chain glinting in the moonlight as her breathing became uneasy.  

Distantly you wondered if people queuing outside the club could see you from down there, if people in their cars speeding down the streets could see you eye-fucking your girlfriend. You suspected the people in the apartments definitely could and the people in the smoking area absolutely cou- 

Well fuck.  

You definitely felt it.  

You giggled and looked down at the ground as you felt the high slowly creep up over your brain. It was a slow acting bud Ellie had gotten this week so it would take a while for the feeling to peak but you could feel your limbs become lighter and heavier at the same time.  

"You feelin' it pretty girl?" Ellie lifted your face to check on you. Your eyes had turned the tiniest shade of pink but were mostly still white. Your pupils had become a little big but not that noticeable unless someone were really looking for it.  

Ellie knew though, because she was feeling the exact same thing. You were both fucked, she thought laughing along with you. 

She felt you take her hands and hold them against your powdered cheeks and nuzzle into them.  

"C'mere." She said tugging you into her arms. You groaned into her chest. Your nose was practically shoved down her black sports bra. 

"You good down there pretty girl? Pretty sure motorboating is frowned upon in public spaces but I'm not gonna stop you." 

You laughed pushing her away from you and walking towards the door back into the club. "I need some water, you comin?" 

Ellie looked at you for a moment. Her eyes drifting up and down as she smushed the roach into the ashtray provided and joined you by your side walking into the club again. 

You pressed yourself up against the counter of the bar, slumping into it while you waited for a bartender to stop in front of you. Once you'd had them you walked over to where Ellie had sat down on the couch, near where you had hidden your jackets.  

You smiled down at her, gently handing her one of the glasses in your hands. You took a few sips looked her down, dark flannel, several buttons open, exposing her black sports bra underneath, and an expanse of pale freckled skin that you wanted to kiss right then and there. Her toned legs spread slightly open and although you knew you shouldn't, you sat down on one of them. 

She pulled you across her lap, fingers digging into your hips as you both set down your glasses of water. You both studied each other's faces, you held a hand to her face which she leant into while giving you a fulfilled look. You were sure you had the same one on your face.  

You were both pulled out of the moment by a song of both of yours playing on the dancefloor. You both grinned to each other as you got up and rushed back to the floor, dancing again. You both yelled out the lyrics, twirling each other and laughing together until the beat changed into something slower, something deeper more sensual.  

You moved closer to Ellie, dancing with you. She had your hands all over you and maybe the weed had made everything feel so much more intense, but you thought you could feel them everywhere. You turned around but kept close to her to you. You could feel her breath turn shaky, pressed up behind you as her breath came down on your shoulder. You swayed against her feeling her hands on your tummy keeping you close to her.  

You lowered your knees, keeping to the rhythm of the song to get closer to her centre and ran a hand through your hair in a way you knew would keep her eyes on you.  

You suddenly couldn't breathe when your ass came in contact with her crotch. She kissed your neck hard enough to bruise trying to keep herself grounded as she felt herself growing more and more warm and flush all over her body. 

You twirled back around, to take a look at your girlfriend which proved to be a massive mistake. The red lights had taken her, making her look more dangerous and devastatingly beautiful than ever. She looked at you, like she could take all of you then and there. 

You bit into your lip, before yelling into her ear "Bathroom?" 

Ellie nodded and tugged you, moving people gently out of the way so she could get you through them.  

She pushed open the heavy wooden door filled with multiple stalls in normal dim white light.  

You leant against the sink, taking yourself in for a moment. Skin flushed, eyes pink, hair dishevelled. Your eyes shifted as you laid them on Ellie, making eye contact with you.  

You turned taking her face into your hands. Full parted lips, parted to try to keep breathing even though she knew it was futile. She was always like this when it came to you. Always breathing her last breath, and never taking in enough oxygen because all that was on her mind was you. Freckles, flushed skin and green eyes that were focused on your lips. They had a pink hue to them, letting you know that she felt the high too.  

You leaned in to kiss her, pulling her jaw down to meet you in the middle. You groaned into the kiss, which had turned sloppy so quickly, or maybe you had taken your time with it but everything felt so fuzzy and warm you couldn't tell anymore. All you felt was the girl's lips gliding against yours, her tongue invading your mouth and all your senses. You moaned into her mouth, pressing yourself up against her to which she answered by letting her hands drifting under your skirt to your ass.  

"Fuck." Ellie groaned between kisses.  

"Are." Peck. "you." Peck. "trying to." Peck. "fucking kill me." Smooch. She turned your face to kiss every part of it causing you to giggle. 

"Maybe. But I just want to keep kissing you right now." You said brushing strands of her hair out of her face, which kept falling whenever she kissed you.  

Her hands were everywhere again but the touches more desperate than before. Under your shirt, under your skirt, squishing your cheeks to steal another kiss from you.  

You didn't exactly remember whose idea it was to move into a stall, but you do remember walking backwards against the door of one and Ellie following you in with a predatory gaze.  

She cornered you against the wall of the bathroom stall, kissing down your body murmuring pleas against the skin. You huffed out, letting your head fall back against the cool cement walls, as you felt her hot breath on your skin. You raked a hand through her short hair, stroking her cheeks as she pushed up your skirt to your tummy and pulled down your underwear, letting you step out of them before pocketing them.  

"I hope you plan on giving me those back later Els..." you whined out. 

"Wouldn't count on it." she said and finally ran a finger along your folds.  

You took a sharp inhale as you felt her moving your slick, running it along your clit before dropping them as far as your opening. You shivered, "Els?" you huffed out.  

She only responded with a soft "Hm?" appearing too busy with continuing your torment. "Please Els? Can you touch me properly?" You begged the girl, your knees buckling slightly as you tried to keep yourself upright while she touched you. 

Ellie held your thigh, keeping you upright as well as keeping your legs open that buckles and shut slightly every time she moved.  

"Dunno." She replied, casually as if nothing was wrong.  

You groaned, knowing what the girl wanted and you couldn't deny her anymore. Not like this anyways.  

"Keep 'em." 

"Sorry I'm gonna need you to say that again. Didn't catch that." 

"You can keep them Els, just fuckin' do something please." 

"Keep what baby?" She said looking up at you as she slipped her middle finger inside of you.  

You grabbed onto her shoulder to steady yourself as you felt her reaching inside of you, gently fucking into you, finding the spot that had you squirming away and simultaneously rolling your hips against her tattooed hand. 

"Keep the panties, El, they're yours just don' stop." You sighed out, head facing the ceiling as you breathed out your words. 

"Good girl." She rewarded your generosity by inching her face closer, to your pussy, and kissing your clit before latching her lips to suck gently on you. 

"Oh, fuck Ellie." You sobbed out trying to stay quiet, grabbing gently onto her head to try and get her impossibly closer to your sopping folds.  

The girl trailed her tongue down to your opening before shoving the muscle inside of you. At that point, you shut your eyes tightly, held your breath in an attempt to keep quiet and couldn't focus on anything except the feeling of Ellie inside of you, and her nose bumping against your clit. 

It wasn't long before you came, riding out your high with the girl tucked between your thighs and you practically humping her face, trying to get her tongue and face as deep inside you as possible.  

Ellie was trying to taste as much of you as she could, slurping and licking every bit of sensitive skin you exposed for her. When she spelled away you could see all the efforts of both your actions on her face, which was covered in slick, on her cheeks, lips, jaw and nose.  

There was still a string attaching you to her lips. 

"Oh." You said holding your hands up to your mouth, trying not to giggle. 

"What?" Ellie said, furrowing her brows at you, wiping at her chin as she looked at you. 

"What do you mean what? You have me all over your face Ellie." You said trying you help her clean herself off laughing softly.  

"What can I say I got lost in the sauce." She grinned. 

Your jaw dropped as you smacked her on her shoulder.  

She laughed, rubbing at her face getting most of if off but missing spots on her chin. 

"Here." You said taking her chin in your hands and kissing it off.  

She looked back at you with glazed pink eyes, before kissing you again. 

Fuck, you thought to yourself. This had been a bad idea. All you could think about was tasting her now. Your hands gently reached for the zipper if her pants as she took your wrist and said, "You don' have to if you don' want to you know?" She always got shy like this whenever you wanted to reciprocate.  

"I know but I really want to Els. Will you please let me?" You blinked at her with doe eyes you knew would always work. She looked as you nuzzled your cheeks near the zipper of her pants, face brushing against her clit as you whimpered against the fabric, wanting to touch her. She ran her hands against your lip and nodded after searching into your pink eyes.  

She stood up and let you unbuckle her belt, pull down her pants and boxes in one go. She was a mess, dripping onto her thighs, and all over her folds.  

You plunged your head between her thighs and licked, slurped and sucked. 

"Wanna fuck you again when we get home Ellie, can I?” You murmured against her clit. 

"Oh, fuck you're really feeling it aren't you? So fuckin' needy,” she said taking your jaw in her hands to stare into your reddish eyes. You had reached the peak of your and wanted more and more of her. As much as she could possibly give you that night. 

She lifted your face closer to hers and once she was beside your ear she said, "Open up for me." and she then proceeded to spit on your awaiting tongue, and you whimpered as you swallowed her.  

You felt your legs getting soaked again as you grinded against nothing.  

"That's my good girl" she sighed as you nuzzled your face against her thighs, nose brushing her pubic mound and clit. 

You went back to tasting her when she grabbed the back of your neck and pushed you against her folds. You moaned into her, feeling her slick seep onto your tongue as you suck on her lips, clit and slipped your tongue inside of her. 

She shivered at the sensation, looking down at you pushing into her thighs and entrance as she grabbed the back of your head pulling you in closer. "So fuckin' good. You love getting slutted out like this don't you baby hm?" 

All you could do was nod against her. You pulled back to speak and look up at her before going back in for more of her. "Uh-huh. Love you els, love you so much."  

"Love you too pretty girl-fuck." 

Ellie whimpered as she came on your lips and gently pushed you away once she came so as not to get too overstimulated too fast.  

She watched as you wiped your face off, licking off whatever was left off her on your hands on your tongue.  

She knelt down to press a messy kiss against your lips. "So fuckin' nasty for me baby." She kissed you over and over before murmuring "You wanna get out of here pretty girl? Promise I'll make you feel so good when we get home." She groaned into your neck.  

You nodded against her, letting her pull you onto your feet before dressing the both of you and making sure you looked presentable.  

"Ellie my underwear, you gotta give 'em back." You pleaded with her.  

She turned you around to look at your ass, pulled your skirt down and you squeaked at the sudden groping and quick smack she gave you.  

"Nah, don't think so. You'll be fine it's just a 10-minute walk back to the apartment. C'mon I'll keep an eye on you." She said ushering you out of the stall, as you both washed your hands and cleaned your faces properly in the mirror.  

You walked to collect, your jackets from the couch putting them on and walking back out to the street, Ellie keeping her hands on your waist. Unbeknownst to you, she looked back at the security guard who was watching you both strut down the street and smirked at her, watching as her mouth fell into a hard straight line.  

She grinned and kissed your hands, trying to keep them warm.  

Both your cheeks were pink from the cold, as you breathed into the air watching the air in your body turn to mist in the night sky as Ellie shoved the key to your shared apartment into the keyhole. You hopped around trying to stay warm till Ellie pulled you into the apartment. helped you take off your coat and pulled you in for a kiss.  

You gasped and whimpered as she pulled your hair into a tight makeshift ponytail and tugged, causing your mouth to pry open as you felt her gaze on you. You looked up at her as she said "You gonna be good for me, pretty girl?"  

You nodded, biting into your lip and humming an affirmative. She let go and smacked your ass telling you to "Get upstairs. I'll be with you in a minute." She said before pecking you on the cheek. 

You giggled and ran up the stairs, following the girls demands as she pulled off her jacket and sighed. She took out the pack of cigarettes and lit one quickly while she walked over to the tap and got two glasses of water for you and her to drink. She sat down on a kitchen chair with an ashtray next to her. She heard a thump upstairs and frowned. She wondered what you could be getting up to there.  

She took a last puff of it before she stubbed out her cigarette, took the two glasses of water in her hands and marched up the stairs to see what you were doing.  

She was met with you, sitting at the edge of the bed, looking up at her and naked. That thump she had heard was the sound of you dropping your boots on the floor as you stripped off and had thrown your clothes on the floor. She shook her head grinning and said "Here." handing over the glass of water to you. 

You took it and sipped from it before she took it back and placed it on the nightstand.  

She took off her rings too placing them on the wooden surface. 

She took your cheeks in hand, squeezing them together and kissed you. "You okay if I get a little rough with you?" she whispered in your ear, "Wanna make you feel it." She palmed your tits, groping and squeezing them making you whimper under her.  

You kissed her back and said, "It's what I wanted in the first place, please Els."  

She took this chance to push you back onto the bed and climb between the space of your legs, letting you hook them around her waist. She looked at you splayed out under her, tits bouncing from the push, hiding nothing from her. She slapped your tits, swatting one then the other, watching as you whined under her from the hit and groaned. Ellie leaned in to latch onto your nipples, sucking on them gently, rolling your nipples in your mouth with her tongue, and pulling on them with her teeth,  

You moaned at this, carding your hands through her hair pulling her closer to you, your legs tightening your grip on her waist, grinding your sensitive exposed pussy against her, wetting the front of her jeans as she humped your back. 

"What are you, a bunny or somethin' humping me like that? Fuckin' nasty slut." She groaned into your tits.  

You loved when she degraded you like this. Made you get so much wetter which you were sure she could feel too. 

She moved her hands down to your soaked entrance, rubbing around your juices before plunging her fingers into you again. You shrieked at this, arching your back against her as her middle and ring finger scissored in and out of you, letting you see her tattoo flex as she moved. You could feel your slick slip past your entrance dripping further down. 

She kissed down your stomach, slurping again at your clit, then your entrance then- 

Oh fuck. 

She kept moving further and further spreading your juices with her tongue and fingers down to your asshole. She pulled back, spitting on the entrance before continuing licking and tasting you, pushing your knees back as you moved trying to escape the sensations. 

"Mm, tastes so good all over, pretty girl." She hummed pulling back, before letting go and pulling back. She took off her flannel and jeans, leaving her in her black sports bra, silver chain and boxers. 

She thumbed at your clit watching you squirm again under her.  

"Wanna get on top pretty girl? Didn't you wanna fuck me? Make me feel good again when we get home?" She drawled, smiling at you under her. 

She gently slapped your cunt, prompting you to give her an answer when you sobbed at her "Yes, Ellie wanna fuck you please?" 

She stood up, pulling off her sports bra over her head, and slipping her soaked boxers, down her legs.  

She sighed lying down on the bed, watching as you clambered up on her body. You ran your hands down her body, watching her nipples stiffen from being exposed to the air, her abs rising and falling as she took in unsteady breaths, watching you take over.  

You hooked your leg over her hip, allowing you to straddle her. You took her chain under your finger tugging and pulling her up to meet her lips again. 

You felt powerful on top of her seeing her under you, waiting for what you were going to do.  

You shuffled upwards, deciding to plant yourself over her abs, sitting your wet pussy down onto it, moaning at the crevices and bumps as they brushed against your clit.  

"Fuck." You groaned out, your eyes fluttering shut as your head fell back and you could see the white of your ceiling.  

Ellie shuddered under you, feeling the wetness of you gather on her stomach, making the sloppiest mess she had ever seen from you. She loved watching you ride her like this. Something about seeing you take control of her like this, using her made her want to submit to your forever.  

She huffed out, "Please move down baby I can't take it." She really couldn't. She was soaked wet, exposed with no friction or anything to ease the heat building up between her legs.  

"Should've thought about that before you stole my underwear baby." 

"'m sorry, okay? I'll buy you a fuck ton of new pairs just please do something y/n 'm dying here." 

You looked at your girl under you, flushed and gasping, nails digging into your hips, and she clung on for dear life. 

You hummed before moving down and grinding against her pubic mound. Fuck, you were gonna get another noise complaint but fuck that because this felt too good to give up.  

Elle couldn't think or speak, feeling only white noise slip into her ears, as her eyes rolled into the back of her head, feeling you slip and slide against her pussy. She could feel the strands of slick from both of you, keeping each of you tethered to the other.  

She felt her soul leave her body as you kissed her, slipping your tongue in your mouth to silence the girl under you but that didn't work. So, you pulled away listening to her sob for a moment while you kept watching her moan out before slipping your pointer and middle finger into her mouth.  

"Gonna h-have to keep you -fuck- quiet somehow." You grinned at her, voice breaking from your moans. Ellie suckled on your fingers but ever the brat she was, she decided she wasn't going to take so easily. 

She slipped her hands behind you before sliding a finger inside of your asshole, making you lean back and almost fall off of the girl.  

You felt Ellie suckle harder on your fingers, keeping you somewhat grounded as you continued to bounce and slide on her clit. Soon you were both groaning out each other's names, creaming and cumming against each other.  

You watched Elle ride out her orgasm, nails making crescents on your hips which would last and bruise, letting you re-live this for days whenever you saw them. Her face was leaning back into the pillows, mouth hanging open as soft moans escaped it with her eyes squeezed shut. Her silver chain glinting in the soft light of your bedroom with each breathe she took. 

She rocked your hips back and forth pro-longing both your respective climaxes till you lifted off her, sitting on her thigh as you pressed your body against her, till you were close enough that she could feel your lashes against her face.  

She pried open her eyes, laughing at how close you were. 

"Can I help you? You're so fuckin’ close. Jesus. "  

You giggled, kissing her cheek. "Can you give me another?" 

Ellie raised her brows, at your question "Think so, what've you got in mi-" 

She was cut off as she felt you slide a finger into her.  

"Fuck me-oh my god!" She groaned as you picked a brutal pace to fuck into her, adding another digit, fingers hitting the spot that had been sensitive all night. She could feel a pressure building and thought about warning you about what was happening but couldn't get the words out.  

All she could do was take it and whimper and hold onto your hip and free hand.  

"Feeling good baby?" You murmured against her lip, echoing the words she had asked you earlier that evening when she had been tormenting you.  

She fucked herself back against your hands, groaning a series of "Yes-fuck- yes so good."  

You bent down to lick at her clit and moaned around her. "Can taste the both of us here Ellie, you taste so good with me like this." 

She felt herself clenching around your fingers at your words and the sensations, as a clear liquid came from her as you continued pumping into her, draining her of all that she had. Ellie had soaked, your fingers, bedsheets and herself as you had planned for her to.  

You pulled out of her gently, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, until she grabbed the back of your neck pulling you in for a proper kiss. 

You kissed her quickly before getting up and getting her a cloth to clean her with, before handing her an oversized shirt to sleep in. You repeated the process for yourself after handing her the glass of water she had procured for the both of you earlier. 

You helped her up to guide her to the sink to wash her face and brush her teeth and go to the bathroom. As you brushed together you thought about doing this with her forever, loving her, taking care of her, going out with her for the rest of your lives together. 

As you slid under the covers together, and pressed your foreheads against each other, you knew she had the same thought.  

"Love you, Ellie." You whispered to her squeezing her hand. 

She squeezed back before wrapping her arm around you, pulling you closer to her, as she whispered back, "Love you more, pretty girl." pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

[forleavingscenes]

Police response to the Charleston church shooting and Dylann Roof's arrest

After leaving Mother Emanuel AME church at 9:07 p.m. on June 17, 2015, Dylann was surprised to see that no police had shown up to the church, as he later claimed that his plan was to shoot himself when the cops showed up and ultimately chose not to kill himself before he was caught because he “decided that it’s just a bad idea”. Evidence taken from his GPS shows that he traveled for 20 miles along I-26 to Branch AME Church in Summerville, which also holds a bible study every Wednesday night. Dylann did not stop at the church and said in his interrogation that the reason he didn’t go to another church is because he was “worn out”

For several hours, the only description given of Dylann was “younger white male, approximately 5’9”, slender build”, as well as two photos of him entering the church, his ID photo, and two photos taken from facebook. This vague description was what led Austin Rich, a photographer from Charleston who happened to be wearing a similar outfit to Dylann's, to be arrested under the impression that he was the shooter.

From Austin Rich's Facebook: “Tonight as many of you may already know I was detained as a suspect for the shooting that took place on downtown Charleston. I want to assure everyone that I am safe and innocent. I was interviewing strangers at the scene when I was mistaken as the shooter because of my grey t shirt, black pants and tan shoes. I was told to get on the ground with my hands up. I laid on my stomach, gently placing my camera on the ground. The officers rushed over to handcuff me. I told them to please be easy with my camera and gear as they picked me up off the ground. I understand that the officers were simply doing their job and they did it well. I was compliant and escorted across the street, to the Marriott Courtyard Hotel and then questioned. I gave them the details of where I was and who I was with. They asked several questions, checked my phone records and told me I was clear to go. I am thankful for the professionalism of the officers on duty.”

At 10:30 p.m., someone claiming to be the killer called a local TV station to claim that he placed a bomb near the church, which would detonate at 11 p.m. However, when the area was checked, no explosives were found, and investigators were cleared to go back inside by 11:30. 

The next morning at 5:50 a.m., Dylann went to a Shell gas station in Charlotte, North Carolina. He used the ATM by the door and went inside to buy a bottle of water and a bag of Doritos. The employees didn’t recognize him and thought of him as just being a “polite, quiet guy”.

A few hours later, a woman named Debbie Dills spotted Dylann’s car while she was on her way to work. She then called her boss, who then called the police, to confirm that it was Dylann. Police quickly caught up to Dylann and pulled him over at a traffic stop in Shelby, North Carolina (Dylann later said that he was on his way to Nashville, Tennessee). He rolled down his window, told the police that the gun was in the backseat, and let the police frisk and handcuff him without resisting. He was finally arrested at 10:44 a.m., 13 hours and 37 minutes after he left the church. He was then brought to the police station, where he would be brought a meal from Burger King after he said he had only eaten the bag of chips he bought that morning (Note: many people claim that Dylann was brought to BK before he was brought to the police station, which is not true. Bringing food to suspects is a very common interrogation technique, often to build rapport.) Shelby police Chief Jeff Ledford said “He was very quiet, very calm. He didn’t talk. He sat down here very quietly. He was not problematic.”

In the hours after Dylann’s arrest, vigils were held for the shooting. Vigils held at Allen Temple AME Church, West End Community Center, and Morris Brown AME Church all had false bomb threats anonymously called in and had to be evacuated.

At 7:28 p.m., Dylann was booked into Al Cannon Detention Center.

[trulyumai]

Oh, Mr Mosses (Series)

Part One: (Author Note towards the end!)

Synopsis: You were fine with the job, the steps were easy enough but the secret of the D.D.D was getting harder and harder to contain. Each night a new entity would enter the building, each with its own horrific look and intentions. Just as you debate on leaving, a new resident has entered the premise; Francis Mosses who is absolutely entranced by your being. Not only that, it seems his “mimic,” is obsessed with you too.

Will you be as smitten of them as they are of you? In the end, who will you choose? Only time will tell.

Oh, Mr. Mosses I

It was simple: check the ID, match the numbers and appearance, ask them questions to form an alibi, push the red or green button. Yet, as she stared at the blood soaked neighbor, she reconsidered her options; the job at hand. He was scratched, bruised and covered with layers of dried blood.

The smell seeped through the glass somehow, spoiling her thoughts and pushing away any rhyme or reason. She gagged, carefully covered her mouth and started her task at hand. 

“Mr. Peachman,” She began, a cough flooding her senses, “The… blood, are you okay?” 

The said man did nothing but stare back, his unwavering eyes were bloodshot and wide. Finally letting a cough escape her she glanced towards the lockdown button, until a bloodied and battered hand slammed against the window in front of her. 

“I'm real,” He said. “I'm REAL, REAL REAL REAL,” 

“Mr Peachman-” “REAL, REAL REAL,”

Quickly she pushed the lockdown button, a metal screen blocked her vision from the man and she quickly slid her fingers over to the dial, calling the D.D.D as quick as her shaking hands would let her.

“Hello, yes, there's an intruder on the base floor, no, yes he is sealed, okay thank you.”

The wait was the worst part. How eerily silent everything got and then a knock. Three taps were signaled on the metal casing to let her know the job had been done, the neighbor had been confiscated. 

With a sigh she leaned forward, just until her forehead pressed against the wooden desk, scratching it lightly with each intake of breath she let in. It was hard, keeping this from the other residents. Sometimes they would ask, question why there would be random alarms, random screaming. She would start to sweat, always responding with the same thing. “Ah well we are in a busy city, afterall,” most of them would take that answer, although hesitantly. 

There was a new face amongst the regulars, he was quiet she noticed. Most of the time she wasn't on schedule when he ran through, but she would see glances of him from time to time, always leaving before her shift. In all white he had a somewhat of a thin build, his shoulders were strong, firm against the buttoned up shirt that he seemed to wear everyday. His eyes were tired, more so than hers and she wondered if that was because of his job or him. 

The night had started off bleak, a neighbor came in with sewn up eyes and a mouth, she didn't even attempt to ask it a question before shutting down the doors and calling the D.D.D. They didn't do as clear a job as they normally would, splatters of blood littered the wall in front of the main desk and she winced. She'd have to clean that up later. 

Rubbing her temples she let her eyes close, maybe within the month she could afford to quit, to move and find another job, another life. Maybe she coul-

“Mmm. Hello.” A deep and somber voice broke her out of her thoughts, with a jolt she glanced up, only to be met with tired eyes and a light frown. “Ah, hello Mr,” She glanced at the schedule

“Mosses,” he muttered. 

“Mr. Mosses, yes, it's nice to meet you, I always see you around but, it seems are schedules are always the opposite.” She was rambling, a bad habit she found when reading and comparing ID numbers. 

“Yes, it's nice to meet you.” Seeing nothing wrong she finally glanced back up to meet his gaze. 

“Everything looks in order Mr. Mosses, you're free to go!” She smiled, slotting the paper through the thinly made entrance.

“Mmm, thank you.” Without meaning to, his fingers collided with hers, his fatigue was weighing on him and he could feel his face flush with embarrassment. With his paper back in his wallet he shuffled awkwardly before returning his gaze on the woman. She was pretty, he noticed, too pretty for a place like this. Her hair perfectly framed her face, her eyes, although tired were beautiful, he couldn't stop himself from staring until a clear of her throat broke him of the trance.

“Are you okay, Mr. Mosses?” He winced, he hated that name, although it sounded pretty coming from her lips.

“Francis,” He whispered, unable to break free of her, her arms, hands, neck, jesus those-

“Francis,” She smiled. He swore he could die happily right there, in that miserable outfit with his miserable job, he could go happily as long as he could look at her. 

“Have a good night, hope to see you soon!” 

Walking away he felt shame, said nothing but nodded his head as he mashed the elevator button. All he did was stare like a freak, someone like her would never be romantically involved with him. He’s a milkman for god's sake, and yes, they're still around.  

Walking to his floor he swore right then and there, he would change his whole schedule if he could just see her for seconds at a time.

A/N:

Hi everyone, I hope you liked the first part to the series! I love this game and it’s mysterious neighbors so I wanted to take a shot and write about everyone’s favorite milkman. I’m trying to write him to be obsessed yet in love, I don’t want it to be overwhelming or weird. A quick warning this series will get more heated and violent, as the mimics do have murderous intent.

Thanks for all your support and the next part will be up soon! Much love, TrulyUmai

[goldenraeofsun]

Stepping Back In

A headache pulses behind Bruce’s temples, and his lower back twinges every time he shifts in his supposedly lumbar-supporting office chair. He fractured three knuckles in his right hand fighting Killer Croc last night, so he fumbles with his left to grab the office phone on the right side of his desk. The move does his back zero favors.

Just as he brings the phone to his ear, the call goes dead.

Scowling, Bruce sets it back down. When he opens an urgent email from Lucius, the phone rings again. 

“You’ve reached Bruce Wayne,” he says distractedly as he brings it to his ear.

A few panicked breaths echo across the line. Foreboding trickles down Bruce’s spine.

A throat swallows. “Dad? I… need help.”

Bruce’s blood turns to ice in his veins as every nerve in his body comes alive. He rasps out, “Jason?”

Jason’s voice audibly shakes. “I’m at the GCPD. I get only one phone call, and –”

The line goes dead.

“Jason?” Bruce inhales a sharp breath. “Jason!”

Nothing. No word from his son. No signs of –

Bruce stands up so swiftly, his office chair violently bangs into the glass wall.

He storms out of the office, past his empty secretary’s desk, out on lunch. The elevator ride down to the ground floor is excruciating, and he can’t help the dozens of scenarios that flit through his mind as the numbers tick lower and lower. 

Jason’s Red Hood identity has been compromised.

Jason is getting shipped to Waller and her certifiable Suicide Squad. 

Jason is dying, again. Why else would he willingly call his estranged father?

Bruce all but runs to the garage, and races across Old Gotham to the GCPD headquarters. He blows through at least two yellow lights and one red. Five minutes later, he double-parks outside the building – let them tow him; it’s not like a car is worth more than his son – and hurries up the steps. 

He braces both hands on the welcome desk, glaring down at the receptionist. “Where is my son?”

The receptionist blinks up at him. “ Uh, I need an ID, sir.”

Incensed, Bruce snarls, “An ID –” but a new voice cuts him off.

“Mr. Wayne,” Detective Montoya steps forward. “Good, you’re here. Follow me.”

Bruce’s expression darkens. He doesn’t budge. “Where are you keeping Jason?”

Montoya sighs. “Let’s talk first.”

Bruce exhales a short breath of relief. At least they haven’t shipped Jason anywhere yet. Jason is still here; Jason is still in Gotham. Firmly, he tells Montoya, “I’m not going anywhere until you take me to him.”

Montoya crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m afraid there are a few things we need to talk about first, Mr. Wayne.”

“After I see my son,” Bruce corrects, straightening to his full height. He has nearly a foot on her. “I have so far extended the courtesy to the GCPD of coming without legal representation, given the urgency of the situation. However, I will –”

“Christ,” Montoya mutters under her breath. “Fucking billionaires.” She clears her throat. “He’s in Room 2.” She gestures him forward. “After you see him, we need to talk. Separately.”

“Fine.”

She casts him a probing look out of the corner of her eye as they skirt around the bullpen and head back to the hallway that leads to the temporarily holding cells and interrogation rooms. 

“What are his charges?” Bruce asks curtly. With Jason’s rap sheet – murder, manslaughter, wire fraud, theft, robbery, assault, aggravated assault – he could be looking at life in prison without the possibility of parole.

“Car theft,” Montoya says.

Car theft?

Bruce waits expectantly for more, but apparently that’s it. He turns to her, about to ask several follow up questions, but she’s already rapping her knuckles on the door to Interrogation Room 2.

“Your dad’s here,” she says as she cracks open the door, and Bruce can clearly see over her curls. Jason sits at the table. He doesn’t look small exactly, without his usual leather jacket, but he does look… diminished. He’s wearing a threadbare red tee shirt, stained jeans, and worn chuck taylors. His hands aren’t even handcuffed to the metal ring in the center.

What the hell is going on?

As Jason spots him standing on the threshold, Jason breaks out into a large grin, which does not help Bruce's confusion at all. But before he can demand Jason tell him exactly what he is up to, Montoya shuts the door and all but shoves him across the hallway to Interrogation Room 1.

Once they’re inside, she turns to him. “We’re running a DNA test. We already checked for traces of Clayface, but he’s 100% human.”

For once, Bruce doesn’t have to fake his surprise. They arrested… Jason Todd. Plain (albeit deceased) Jason Peter Todd.

Montoya runs her hand through her hair, her frustration clear. “This is why I didn’t want you to see him before we could verify his identity.”

“Oh,” is all Bruce can say.

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up,” she adds unnecessarily.

Bruce’s gruff exterior cracks, just a little. That was nice of her. “It’s alright, Detective.”

“I’m honestly surprised we haven’t had more scams like this,” she says, gesturing to the door where Jason sits just across the hall.

Bruce narrows his eyes. “And you’re sure it’s a scam?”

Montoya’s eyes soften. “Unfortunately, that’s how most of these cases go. They claim they were trafficked or have amnesia, which kept them away for so long. They’re always bogus. They’re scumbags looking to prey on a family’s grief and bank account.”

Bruce holds back his grimace. A year ago, he contacted five highly respected neurologists under a pseudonym. He asked them about the presenting symptoms of retrograde amnesia and hacked their files for a dozen case studies to send to Jason if he ever decided to reestablish his civilian identity.

Bruce also identified three federal judges with long histories of ruling favorably in family court cases involving improbable medical miracles. They might still be worthwhile to hold onto, depending on how Jason plays this.

Bruce inhales a shaky breath. “But he… looks like Jason,” he says, laying on the pleading tone a bit thick. “He sounds like my son.”

“He’s done his homework,” Montoya explains apologetically. “With all your time in the public eye, it makes you an easy target.”

“I want to speak with him.”

Montoya’s eyes widen in alarm. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I need to look him in the eye,” Bruce says firmly. “If it is Jason –” he breaks off, swallowing.

Montoya purses her lips. “I really advise against that. You can’t give these conmen an inch. They’ll –”

“I need to speak to him, alone,” Bruce interrupts.

“Okay, no,” Montoya says quickly, “That’s possibly the worst thing you could do, Mr. Wayne.”

Bruce exhales a sharp breath. Enough of this. He’s getting nowhere stuck here in this room. “I’ll be the judge of that.” He pushes open the door and strides out into the hallway, ignoring Montoya’s muttered curses. He opens the door to Interrogation Room 2.

Jason’s head snaps up. “Dad?”

“We’re leaving.”

Jason blinks. “What? I – I don’t think we can do that?”

“Has he been charged with anything?” he turns back to Montoya. “What is the physical evidence against Jason?”

Montoya’s scowl deepens. “A witness placed him at the scene.”

Bruce throws her his most unimpressed look, one that would send Robin confessing to unfinished homework within fifteen seconds or less. “So,” he starts, “you only have him on circumstantial evidence, and the car wasn’t even stolen.” Damn it, he can almost feel Jason’s smirk at his back.

“Attempted theft is still a crime,” Montoya says coldly.

“Get up, Jason.”

Jason hops to his feet. It’s the fastest he’s obeyed an order from Bruce since he was fourteen years old.

“I’m taking my son home,” Bruce says. “My lawyers will call to settle this. If you need to contact Jason, you know where to find him.”

Jason actually shoots finger-guns at Montoya as they pass her on the way back to the bullpen.

Bruce just barely refrains from rolling his eyes.

* * *

Bruce inhales a sharp breath as Jason closes the door behind him. “What the hell was all that?” he asks, his voice even.

Jason levers the passenger seat back to a reclining position and lazily turns his head to face Bruce. “C’mon, that was fun.”

Bruce starts the engine and pulls out into the street. “What was the point? Other than to waste my time?”

Jason shrugs. He tries to prop his feet on the dash, but his legs are too long, so he nearly knees himself in the chin before he gives up.

Bruce coughs to hide his smile.

Jason scowls. “Shut up.” 

At the first red light, Bruce turns to him. “Why did you steal that car?”

Jason raises his eyebrows. “Pretty sure I didn’t steal anything.”

Bruce exhales a silent breath and prays to Alfred for patience. “Why did you make the GCPD think you were trying to steal a car?”

“Let’s chalk it to old time’s sake,” Jason says airily, but his eyes are calculating as he meets Bruce’s gaze.

Bruce blinks, and sitting across from him in the passenger seat is a twelve-year-old in equally ratty clothes, wearing the same calculating expression, terrified but doing everything he can not to show it to the man in the driver’s seat. A kid, starved for affection as well as just plain starving.

“Jason –” He breaks off as his phone rings. With a grimace, he roots around in his jacket pocket, mindful of his fractured knuckles. He scans the screen, Jeffrey Lobe. He takes the call and puts it on speaker.

“Mr. Wayne,” Jeffrey’s voice comes through, his typical annoyed tone dialed up to eleven.

“Jeff,” Bruce says, forcing his voice to stay light. “How’re you doing, old friend?”

“What’s this I hear about your son coming back from the dead and stealing a car, of all things?”

Jason hones in on the phone, his whole body tensing. “Who is this?” he mouths.

Bruce ignores the question. To Jeffrey, he says, “I was just going to tell you about that.”

“I’m sure,” Jeffrey says sardonically. “You know, it is good to keep your legal counsel abreast of developments like this.”

Jason blinks.

“I swear, you were my next call,” Bruce lies. “But you’ll take care of it, won’t you?”

“I’ll get the preliminary paperwork started on voiding his death certificate, but forgive me if I don’t rush to update your will,” Jeffrey says dryly.

“It can wait a week or two,” Bruce says, deliberately keeping his eyes on the road, “Jason isn’t going anywhere.” He doesn’t dare look in the direction of the passenger seat.

As far as Bruce is concerned, this is a good thing. If Jason didn’t want to come back from the dead, he shouldn’t have gotten himself fingerprinted and called Bruce Wayne’s office number from a GCPD phone. If Jason did want to come back – which Bruce strongly suspects is the case, since Jason isn’t stupid and wouldn’t get caught dead by the GCPD unless he was actually deceased (again) – then Bruce already has a plan in place.

“Bruce…” Jeffrey drifts off, “This is all highly unusual – it’s fucking crazy, if I’m being honest with you. This takes eccentric billionaire to a whole new level.”

Bruce sighs. “Jeffrey, it’s really my son. I don’t have the whole story yet, but he had amnesia of all things. He only remembered my name last week, and a big help that was, since he was stuck in Addis Ababa. I’ll of course be consulting with Dr. Vietti at Gotham University as well as Dr. Hou at Princeton to make sure it all checks out. But if you could track down a few more expert consultants, that would be a real help, Jeffrey. Who runs Gotham General’s psychology department? Dr. Page, right? Add her to the list too.”

Jason’s eyes are nearly bugging out of his head.

“Amnesia?” Jeffrey asks, his tone dripping with skepticism.

“Can you believe it?” Bruce says, suppressing a smile.

“Not really, but I know better than to argue with you after all these years.”

“You’re a stand up guy, Jeffrey.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jeffrey grumbles. “Keep the compliments until you see my billables for this month. I’d better get going. I have my work cut out for me this week.”

“Call if you have any questions!” Bruce says cheerfully and hangs up before Jeffrey can splutter a response.

Jason breaks the silence first: “Where the hell did that come from?”

“Excuse me?”

“The amnesia? Addis Ababa?” Jason asks, his voice growing more frantic with each question. “All those fucking doctors? What the fuck are you playing at?”

Bruce merges onto Kane Bridge. Only when he slows with traffic does he turn to Jason. “Isn’t this what you wanted, the whole point of all this? To resume your civilian life?”

Jason gawks at him, his jaw hanging open.

“Isn’t it?” Bruce prompts. 

“Well, yeah! But,” Jason flails, “I was gonna go with a kidnapping gone wrong.”

“Five years ago?”

Jason scowls. “I was working on it.”

“We’ll go with amnesia,” Bruce says with finality. “You can read up on the recent case studies, and Dick and I can run mock trials to get you ready to display the right symptoms.”

“This is insane. You are insane,” Jason says, but his tone lacks any heat. “I can’t believe you thought of this in, like, an hour.”

Bruce snorts. “I’m good, Jason, but I’m not that good.” He wrestles with himself, but he eventually has to say, “I started contacting experts in neurological trauma a year ago to prepare for your case.”

Jason goes still. “A year?” he echoes blankly.

Bruce gives one stiff nod.

Jason’s eyes are wide. “Bruce…” he starts in a tone that Bruce hasn’t heard in years, certainly well before Jason’s trip to Ethiopia. The way he’s looking at him too, for once without anger or hate or spite, but with disbelieving awe - Bruce has to look away.

Eyes back on the road, he clears his throat. “Burgers.”

Jason starts. “What?”

“We should get burgers,” Bruce announces as he makes a u-turn that causes a cascade of honks from the traffic behind them. “For old time’s sake.”

Jason smiles, a real smile, not a sneer or smirk. “If I say yes, are you gonna eat it with a fork and knife?”

“Of course,” Bruce says as he steps on the gas. “I’m not a savage.”

A hundred kisses to @a-canceled-stamp for betaing this oneshot!

[linkedspirit-fanartfunart]

[Image Description: A 5 panel colored Legend of Zelda AU comic  “Linked Spirit”. Panel 1: Labeled "Sea Temple" a building overtaken by vines of malice sits in the center of an ocean, colored in dark purple hues. The temple has a light-house like center tower, with a stairway leading up to the roof from the outside. There building has a half pyramid shape at the base, with two thin towers on each end. Panel 2: Marin, in her hooded cloak, carries Link, who is unconscious, to an alcove in the stone building. Panel 3: Link is laid in the alcove, head on a small pillow. Marin sighs, lowering her hood. A mouse raises his head from Link's scarf, looking at them. Panel 4: Marin leans against the alcove, looking at them softly, "Maybe you'll remember our dream, after all this." She says. Like a reflection, Marin as she is in Link's Awakening, looks down at the unconscious Rinku. Panel 5: Marin says "I wonder what you're dreaming of now..." Mouse puts a paw on Link's cheek. Link's brows furrow and lets out a small "Nhg" End ID]

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[bejeweledblondie]

Knight In Shining Armor

Captain John Price x F! Royalty Reader

Summary: Y/N is part of the British Royal Family & is kidnapped by terrorists. John Price & Task Force 141 are given the responsibility of rescuing her before the ransom deadline

Warnings: mentions of torture, abuse, kidnapping, anxiety

Captain John Price was ready to kick his feet up & relax for the rest of the weekend. He had already cracked open a beer. With one click of the tv remote he knew his weekend would be anything other than relaxing.

“This just in her royal highness the Duchess of Windsor Y/N L/N has just been ambushed & is considered missing. The young Duchess was leaving a gala when armed men ambushed her vehicle & were able to successfully kidnap her. Her whereabouts are unknown at the moment & London is currently on lockdown near Buckingham Palace.” The news anchor on the television reported. A groan escaped his lips knowing this mission would come across his desk.

“Fuckin hell, “ He cursed to himself & looked up at the ceiling. “Lord I wanted one weekend, one fucking weekend is that too much to ask for?”

Right on cue his phone started to vibrate. Laswell in big letters flashed across his screen.

“Don’t even elaborate where do we need to be?” He asked rubbing his temples.

“Well hello to you too, meet me at headquarters as soon as possible.” She stated. He stood up & stretched before sending a message out to the rest of his team. He walked into his bedroom & pulled out his combat pants, combat thermal, & two pairs of socks. Price got dressed & laced up boots. The thought of the Duchess started to creep into his mind. He couldn’t even imagine what she was experiencing. The absolute fear of being at the mercy of international terrorists has to have terrifying.

Price made his way to his car & started it. He started to drive to the post & when he got to the gate he scanned his ID. The soldier saluted him & the gate arm lifted. He pulled up of the offices & started to walk into the building. Ghost, Gaz, Soap, & Alejandro were already sitting in the briefing room waiting for him. Laswell was already at the front of the room with the screen behind her turned on.

“Ah Captain Price! Good to see you! Sit down so we can start.” Laswell said. “Colonel Vargas & his team will be conducting this operation with us due to the severity of the situation.” Price sat down, & Laswell started her briefing. “So while we don’t know how the Duchess was able to be taken, we were able to pin her location. Seems like our terrorists didn’t do a good job at giving their location. They released a video with a list of their demands, & hefty ransom. It is disturbing I’ll admit. They’ve beaten this poor woman to hell & back already.” Laswell pressed a key on the laptop in front of her & the video started.

There sat the Duchess tied to a chair with smudged mascara & a black eye. She was trying her hardest to stay awake. The once beautiful pink gown she had on was covered in blood & dirt. Pure anger ran through Price’s veins seeing her in that state. Each of the terrorists had black balaclavas on & stood on either side of her.

“To the Royal Family & the United Kingdom, we are taking revenge. One by one each Royal family of each Western nation will start going missing if you do not fulfill our wishes. If you wan to see her again, let alone alive you will fulfill our wishes. The cost of her safe return is 500 million dollars. You have until midnight.” One of the Balaclava clad men demanded. He gripped her chin roughly & she protested at his grip. “You little cunt. You will respect me.” He lifted the hand that held a Glock in it & used the back of the gun to slap her across the face. A loud cracking noise happening & the video paused.

“Steamin’ Jesus,” Soap said. “Who are we dealing with?”

“The usual suspects.” Laswell replied. “We pinned their location & we have to act accordingly because it’s very clear their intentions will result in more violence. They’ve taken her to a warehouse in Romania, & we have their governments full permission to go in. So let’s get going, we lift off at 20:00.” She closed the laptop & everyone got up from their respective seats. Everyone started to funnel out of the conference room & started down to the air strip.

There was a heaviness in the air, they knew the weight on their shoulders. Not just the weight of the United Kingdom was on their shoulders but the entire western world. Alejandro’s team already had their gear laid out ready for inspection & he walked off to make sure they had everything.

“Alrighty lads lay out your gear for inspection.” Price shouted. One by one he went through each of their gear & made sure it was ready for use. Thankfully no one was missing anything. Two Blackhawk helicopters sat on the air strip waiting to take them over the border into Romania. 20:00 came faster then they had anticipated & both teams boarded the helicopters.

The usually chatty Task Force 141 sat in silence. They looked around at each other solemnly, & praying that the Duchess would be still alive. Price couldn’t get the image of her being brutalized. The men were familiar with her philanthropic efforts, & they were infuriated someone would go out their way to hurt her. Y/N had spent time overseas in incredibly dangerous countries delivering medicine herself, & showcasing what children in those countries go through. She was a saint in the public eye & overall was a incredibly kind woman.

“We are over the border gentlemen & in Romania. Fifteen minutes away from target.” The pilot had stated. They were all filled with pure adrenaline by this point eager to get on the ground. “Target located gentlemen.” The pilot. “Gods speed.” The warehouse was below them, & the fast ropes dropped. One by one both teams dropped men. Alejandro’s team took the ground & Task Force 141 took the roof. These terrorists clearly weren’t smart enough to plant guards on the roof.

Ghost kicked in the door the lead to the stairs. He threw in a grenade & then started to use the light on his rifle to lead the team in. They walked past bodies of the men hit by the grenade & started all the way down to the loading docks of the warehouse. Price could tell the warehouse hadn’t been used in years. Rust & mold were all over the metal of the building. Once they made it to the bottom of the stairs, they were greeted with the gun fire. Both Ghost & Price easily eliminated those threats.

Price could hear Alejandro’s team outside, the sound of the gun fire echoed through the building. The lights were completely knocked out but they were able to eliminate any & all targets.

“Captain!” Ghost yelled over the radio alerting Price. “Found her.” He ran over to the room were Ghost was. There she was, Y/N Windsor the Duchess of Windsor. Her ballgown was completely destroyed & was covered in wounds. Some deeper than others. She was entirely unconscious, poor thing couldn’t respond to Ghost’s questions. Thankfully she still had a pulse but it was evident she was hanging by a thread. Price picked her up & she was limp. “Ghost we need to get back to the helicopter.” He said. Over the radio Ghost had alerted Alejandro they had located the Duchess. Price held her close to his body, & tried to apply pressure to the more intense wounds. On the helicopter she was able to open her eyes, & saw the Union Jack on Price’s plate carrier. Still in his arms, she weakly lifted her arm up & pointed to the flag.

“Please don’t let me die,” she mustered out.

“Don’t worry darling, I won’t.” He replied. She then passed out again afterwards.

Finally they were able to get on board the helicopter & out of Romania. Once they had landed base on the air strip on base a ambulance was waiting for them. Price & Laswell sat in the back of the ambulance as a liaison for the Royals. Once at the hospital the staff took her & brought her immediately into surgery. Still covered in the Duchesses blood & sweat Price sat there in the waiting room his leg shaking out of anxiety. Laswell rubbed his back gently in an attempt to comfort him.

Eight hours of surgery later, the surgeon exited the operating room with good news. The Duchess was going to make a full recovery. A wave of relief washed over him. The news outlets were updated almost instantly by Buckingham Palace Officials. Price went everyday to the hospital to visit her. Although she was asleep & he still spoke to her. She infiltrated every single thought he had every waking moment. Soap had teased him a little bit about it only to be met with a death stare.

About a week later, she awoke to the sound of a deep British accent talking to her. The same one that had been in her dreams. She awoke to bright lights & the beeping of the heart monitor. Her moved around violently as she tried to take in her surroundings.

“Love, you’re alright you’re in the hospital.” The voice said as a hand started to pet her hair. She looked over & saw a man with full beard. He looked a little bit older than her. His blue eyes were amplified by the florescent hospital lighting. There was just so comforting about his presence. Two nurses came in & started to check on her vitals. She was able to answer as many questions as they threw at her. The mysterious man with the blue eyes still stood beside her. Once the two nurses left she turned to him.

“Who are you?” She asked. Her voice was meek & was cracking.

“Captain John Price your highness.” He replied. “I had helped lead the effort with my team to rescue you.” A flood of memories came back. She remembered the pain, & the blood stained Union Jack flag on his chest.

“I’m a man of my word love,” He replied & grabbed her hand.

“What?” She replied clearly the fog of amnesia still had it’s effect on her.

“I didn’t let you die love.” He replied. “I kept my promise.” His thumb brushed over her knuckles delicately. She gave him a soft smile in return.

“Thank you Captain Price,” she replied. Little did either one of them knew that this rescue would lead to the Royal Wedding of the decade.

[ashsimpsalot]

thank you for doing god's work and blessing us with wonderful monkey man fics 🫡

if youre taking requests, id like to make one with a blackwidow!reader, she's undercover at the hotel as well and was confused when someone made an attempt at rana singh then tracks kid down and even helps him train. they go through the fight together and after that they start a new life in the end 🫶

sorry if its too specific, feel free to make any changes however you like and tysm in advance if you decide to do this 🩷✨️

The lack of kid x reader content is killing me. I'm glad you liked my fics though, thank you for reading! THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST EVER ERM

I've never written action before, hopefully I do this fic justice. Im sorry if it just seem like I'm yapping😭

Hands Up (Kid X Blackwidow!Reader)

Holy Fuck!

You've been undercover in India for almost 2 months and you didn't even know autos could drift like that!

You're hot on their trail, abusing the throttle to its limit.

Whoever this guy is, he's either extremely ballsy, or extremely stupid to go after Rana Singh like that.

The helmet didn't help with the shooting sounds at all, you couldn't take it anymore, drifting away and avoiding to be near but near enough that you could see where the guy was going. Your already ringing ears would go deaf if you trailed them any closer.

Shit he went into an alleyway.

Your eyes trailed around the road.

Bingo

Another alley that links to his spot.

Maybe it took you 5 minutes extra but once you got there, the auto was already flipped onto its side, empty. The policemen were chasing someone who's running on foot.

Running on the fucking roof!

Limping.

You twisted the throttle of the motorbike to chase after him but he ended up falling onto the road after an officer shot his leg

You hit the brakes. Tires screeching loud at how sudden the brake was. Stopping the bike right in front of him.

"get the fuck on! Hurry!"

He looked confused but decided to question it later and hopped on.

You zoomed away from the place, going into an alley an coming out the other, making sure no one sees where you guys were headed.

His grip on your waist loosens.

Oh no he's losing blood.

"man don't pass out on me yet!" you yelled, making sure he heard but his answer was mumbling and gibberish. Before he could limp off of the bike, you reached back and placed one hand on his back.

You sighed and accepted your fate, your arms going to hurt from the weird position but at least he won't fall off.

You zoomed right to the temple, dragging this tall building of a man in with you all by yourself.

You called on Alpha, she almost chuckle at how you struggle to bring the man in.

"I told you, child, if you need help, ask for it," she said like a mother nagging her child while helping you steady the man.

"I am asking for help, help this guy," you reply mumbling like a teenager after being scolded, she let's out a huff and guided the man onto the makeshift bed.

"wait outside, take care of your own wounds, hm? There's food in the kitchen, eat up," she said softly then closes the curtain.

A pang in your heart, she's like a mother to all these people here and to you too. You didn't expect to step foot on the motherland and gain an actual mother figure.

When you hear the man screaming in agony you knew exactly what she was doing as you yourself was on that makeshift bed a month ago.

You chuckled and went to the kitchen.

After indulging in a plate of naan and a cup of coffee, you sighed and lean against the chair, closing your eyes, floating in a food coma. finally taking the well needed rest you've been procrastinating.

That is until a soft pinch on your shoulder startle you.

"I told you to tend to your wounds first, child," Alpha scolded, dragging a chair in front of you with the small medical box in her hands.

25 years of training, nothing could get past you.... except for Alpha. For some reason she has a way to sneak up on you.

You gave a silly smile, letting her tend to your light wounds. "I was hungry," she hummed dismissively.

"the man is alright, he'll need a few hours before he regain consciousness. Who is he?" she asked, eyes still pinned onto the cut on your arm.

"he tried to go after Rana Singh, all by himself, in Queenie's hotel with a small gun. I think he could've succeeded but not sure what made him miss the shot," you said simply.

"why did you help him?"

"he's stupid but I saw how he fought, he's got potential,"

Alpha hums and packs the medical box. "and maybe because he has a pretty face," you joked while grinning at her. She chuckled and shook her head and stood up.

"your bed roll is still unused," she said, some guilt creeps up on you. You left, after staying with them for a month, to go after Queenie.

"thank you,"

You went to take a little nap.

When you open your eyes again, you heard chaotic voices of confusion. The guy had woken up.

"hey, clam down,"

"you? You're... The chef?" he's more confused than ever. You nodded. "look, you're still recovering, take it easy and sit down. I'll explain everything."

He seemed reluctant but sat down on the nearest branch anyway.

"who..are you?" he asked, eyes pinning on his fidgetung hands.

You started with your name and he nodded. Taking a few seconds, wondering where to start.

"I'm a blackwidow, well, was a Blackwidow, after the fall of the red room most widows just work with each other trying to free others who were injected with mind controlling serum."

Blackwidow? His mind flashed to pictures of the only famous widow, Natasha Romanoff, the fucking avenger? He looked confused but try to take in what you said.

"but I didn't do that. I came for revenge."

"revenge? On whom?" he looked up at you, you knew that look in his eyes, you see them in your own everyday, the thirst for revenge, sunk in a sea of violence.

"They ship kids, the red room, they take us in very very young." you started with a heavy voice, you've told this story multiple times but fuck, knowing you're so near to where it happened is just too much.

"and where do you get kids, untraced, unwanted, unregistered kids?" your eyes lifted to look at him, as if quizzing him. He shook his head as a sign that he never thought about that.

"human trafficking rings, prostitution rings and Queenie just happen to have the biggest rings in whole of fucking Asia,"

He furrowed his eyebrows. He's known a fair share of prostitute, most of them keep their kids, at least his mother kept him, but his mother did left to live somewhere else.

"Queenie has a reportation to uphold, she can't have legal cases against her, she can't have her girls die from multiple abortion, the kids will just be threads someone could pull and find out the truth so she cuts em. Take all the kids and ship them for the red room. She got a ton of money for that too,"

He looked horrified, he didn't even know that was a thing people fucking do.

"I want to put a stop to this, maybe there red room is gone but she's still doing something with those kids,"

He looked up at you and nodded, he understood.

"what about you? Going after Rana Singh by yourself like that, in his own slice of heaven,"

He sighed then stared off into the distance, he's eyeing the kids who were giggling and chasing each other in the middle of the temple.

A sense of innocence both of you lost a long time ago.

"he killed my mother," you sucked in a quick breath. Mother, you're both avenging your mothers then. Though he's avenging a woman he knew and you don't event know the name of yours.

"then we better get ready. I saw you, when you were fighting. You fight a lot?"

"at the ring. For money" you nodded, you know of the tiger temple, an excuse to gamble, honestly.

"I realise you let your left hand go idle for too long, we'll work on that," you simply said and stood up.

"though for now, you should rest, I'm going for a shower, Alpha will bag my ears off if she realise I took a nap before showering."

You offered him a smile, half joking.

The next few weeks are dedicated to teaching him, reminding him not to neglect his left hand. Another habit you see is that he sucks in and hold his breath in while throwing a punch, leaving his breathing a little erratic after a long fight.

"there you go, Kid!" you yelled with a smile after he basically torn the makeshift punching bag.

He walked towards you. "was that good?"

You nodded though a silly smile creeped on your lips. "yeah, had the whole temple screaming, I bet it was because your lack of clothing," you teased. Kid smiled, a genuine smile, and thanked you.

One night he went missing, two nights before diwali, a bag of money was hung on one of the branches with a note with his writing on it.

You went to find him and when you did he looked apologetic.

"I told you, we're doing this together," you said, hitting him with a slap on his stupid face. He turned back to look at you. "I'm sorry I... I had to fight in that ring alone."

His voice soft but fuck, his lips looks softer, maybe he saw that desire in your eyes because he had them in his own. He pulled your arms softly, leaning down to kiss you on your lips.

"we stick together, that's the plan," you breathed softly after he pulled away. Kid, being himself, didn't say anything and nodded.

He didn't think he could've kept that promise but he did.

The night of diwali, you dragged him out of the burning hotel, he had passed out after killing Baba Shakti.

He woke up to the same scene he did almost 2 months ago but this time with familiar faces and a heavier feel in his chest, relief. Relief that he's alive, that's new for him.

"you're awake," you said. He looked dreamy, that's also new.

"why are you looking at me like that?" you asked, worried if he had lost too much blood or hit his head too hard somewhere. Your hands carefully trace his face, head even body to inspect if Alpha had missed a wound somewhere.

He shook his head, toon your wandering hands in his and smiled.

Fuck, he's finally home.

With the woman he loves, a sanctuary that might need fixing but filled with pure love, a worried woman that plays a role his mother played years ago.

He had a reason to live.

"I love you," Kid whispered, he trued to think of the last time he's said that but no memory came up.

Your eyes soften and that day he fell deeper.

"I love you too"

A few years later he'd tell the kids that laid on his chest, with his hair and your eyes, a smile on his face, proudly tracing the memory of how the wild monkey finally find his peace with a spider.

The little girl laughed. "amma'a a spider!" she would repeat that again and again as if that's the funniest thing her appa ever said, her brother chasing after her, suddenly it's a game of tag.

"don't run!" Alpha would scold after the two almost bumping into her, scared that she'll accidentally spill the drink she's taken for herself.

Kid laughed.

His life is perfect.

It's perfect.

[blackroseguzzi]

Otherworldly : Part 3

Summery: Sex. Love. And pinky power.

Warnings: So much sex, wow, I felt naughty writing this 😈, language, sexy stuff, and Kai (he’ll always be a red flag Id gladly ignore)

I really hope you late night Kai smut lovers enjoy this one!

You loved to stay up late. The mixture of Adderall and energy drinks throughout the day gave you the perfect most exhilarating high at around 130am. Kai had gotten you addicted a few months back, and you had no idea how you ever lived without the little blue pills. They were tantalizing, just as he was.

Tonight, you stayed in the basement while Kai was out with Meadow. It didn’t bother you that he was out fucking another woman, you knew he was doing it to make the world a safer place. Kai was the cult’s charismatic leader who provided his followers with acceptance, and security. For poor little Meadow, she needed a good fucking to think she was important. You felt sad for her in a way. She married a man who was clearly attracted to the opposite sex, and she had a mountain of debt from her time off work due to a bout with skin cancer. You didn’t know her well just that she was a fantastic artist, and she was head over heels for your Kai Anderson- her Devine ruler. Yes, Kai was a leader to her, but you were the one leading him towards her pussy. He protested your request at first, saying that your body was the only temple he wanted to worship. You told him that Meadow wasn’t going to give her life for someone who just patted her on the back when she did a good job, and he had nodded slowly when it clicked. Meadow needed that good old dose of Oxytocin, and if Kai gave that to her she was the perfect person to lie down her life for him- she was a commitment kind of girl. It was depressing really, but also extremely arousing to you that a female could be so pledged after quick sex with your man.You couldn’t help but smile to yourself at the thought of Kai making another woman orgasm. You wanted to reach into your sweatpants as you thought about it, but you knew you’d just have to wait for Kai to get home from his mission to please you.

It was around 3am when Kai walked into his quiet home. He slowly took off his jacket and hung it on the rack next to yours. He massaged his neck with his hands and closed his eyes for a moment. He was sore from the workout with Harrison yesterday, and now having Meadow hanging off of it while he fucked her had really done a number on him. He had just wanted to get home to you.

He quietly made his way to the basement, he opened the door and descended leisurely down the steps. The light next to your shared bed was on, and he smirked as he saw your naked body curled in the sheets, your hand still on the ‘Warfare between Science & Religion’ book you had been reading. Kai unbuttoned his black shirt and shrugged it off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor, then did the same to his pants and boxers. He gently slid beside you under the covers. You felt so warm like the morning sun shining against him. His heart did a little funny jump every time he laid eyes on you after being apart for some time. He hoped you knew that everything he ever did was for the two of you to live in ultimate peace. He wanted to watch you swell with his seed one day- and be the one to help you birth his messiah. He knew you’d be the mother of all mothers. He knew that he’d want at least 4 children with you, maybe 5 if you were up to it. If he could have it his way, he would have all boys- making sure they would all grow to protect their utterly impeccable giver of life.

Kai watched your eyes flutter open, your dark pupils adjusted to the light. When you saw Kai there, wrapped around you naked, you snuck him a sweet smile and he immediately felt his penis build a tent in the sheets.

“I was so lost without you here with me,” You kissed his lips and he moaned in delight at the taste of your honey kiss.

“Well, I found you.” He slithered closer to you and pressed his lips feverishly onto yours.

“I see you need a polite request for my time?” You laughed. When Kai would come home from his short trips with Meadow- he would devour you in some way. It was like he was banking memories of your sex life to remember in times he needed them to block the fact he was with another woman. You never asked him about what they did in bed, but you sure as hell wanted him to know that whatever she had to offer was never going to come within millimeters of what you had to give. Nobody could search your soul the way Kai could, and you knew that he felt the same way.

“There is nothing polite about what I’m going to do with you my sweet Tesoro.” He moved his body so that he was now positioned on top of your naked body. The way that your bodies felt against each other was magnetic. Kai kneed your legs apart and you felt his dick touch your wet pussy.

“You’re always soaked for me,” Kai whispered against your lips. You let him slip himself into you and you bit his lip and dug your fingernails into his back enough that he started pounding faster inside you.

“I want to hear your heart beat, baby.” Your words hit him like a wave, and he slowed his hips. His moves were deliberate, and soft. He could feel your fingertips drawing what felt like perfect love notes over his shoulders and back. Kai lifted himself from you enough that he could stare into your eyes. It was like looking into the gates of heaven mixed with the most beautiful sea of every happy memory he ever had with you. With every thrust into you he felt his head grow lighter and your wet vagina swallowed him up in existential bliss.

“I love you,” Kai kisses your forehead and you moaned in response. Kai watched as your sweet face turned dark. You grabbed a handful of hair on the side of Kai’s head, pulling him down beside you. He watched as you slithered your body on top of him, he opened his mouth to direct you but you pressed a slender finger to his lips. You could feel his smile underneath it and it turned you to mush knowing how much he loved when you didn’t play nice.

“Don’t say a word, just make love to me,” You hissed. You slid your body onto him and rocked your hips against him.

“You feel so fucking goo-.” SMACK. You palm made a noise as it connected with his face. You had just slapped him. Kai brought his hand up to his red cheek. It stung, but he felt like he was on the verge of cumming at the same time. He let out a chuckle and looked to you with both lust a surprise.

“I said not to talk.”

Kai relaxed and watched your body in the warm light. Your curves perfectly shaped and skin like safari desert sand. He watched a bead of sweat slowly drip in between your plump breasts and down your torso. He watched as you grabbed his hands, placing them on your hips. He was biting his lip so hard he thought he tasted a bit of blood. God, you moved so perfectly on him and he knew that his orgasm was going to send his soul outside his body. Hw grabbed your hips until he was sure he made marks.

“I need you to fuck me on the table.” Kai watched you pull yourself from his sweaty warm cock and you took his hand in yours and you both slipped out of the sticky sheets towards the table in the basement.

“I think I’m addicted to you,” Your words swarmed his ears and he grabbed you and placed your naked body onto the long table. He climbed on top of it as well, and spread your legs yet again. He took his fingers and stuffed them into your entrance and you let out the most erotic noises Kai had ever heard. He had watched a lot of porn in his days, but he never heard sounds quite like the ones you could make.

“Please Kai, I need you inside of me,” You pleaded as he stroke your clit with his wet fingers.

“Tell me something you’d never tell anyone else?” Kai laid himself upon you once again and his dark eyes burned into you. You felt your body go weak, and you slowly linked pinkies with Kai.

“Nobody has ever…ever loved me…until I met you.” He held your linked pinky to his chest while he bent down to kiss you once more-his tongue touring the inside of your mouth. God, he would pay rent to have his tongue just live in there. He never got bored of the way you tasted.

“Tell me something you’re afraid of.” He whispered in your ear as your orgasm grew closer and closer with each deep slow plunge inside you.

“Vulnerability,” you chocked out as his last forceful jolt sent your orgasm explode from within you. Your whole body was sent into a tingling galaxy of euphoria. 
Kai slowed as your body relaxed, the high dying down.

Kai got up, running his hands up and down your thighs before pulling you up from your lying position on the table.

“I’m always going to be here to protect you from all your fears little lamb.” Kai grabbed your body, pulling you to the edge of the table. He places himself inside you once again, this time you were extremely sensitive from your orgasm. He delicately moves inside of you, careful not to overstimulate you. He brushes the hair behind your ears and plants kisses all over your face.

He was the only person in the world to ever love you. He was the only one to ever make you feel like you were someone worth loving.

“I love you too,” You finally whispered your response into his ear as he stroked the small of your back with his thumb as he gently moved back and forth.

The words always seemed to make him explode instantly. You could feel his cum disseminate inside of your womb.

You both sat breathless and sweaty before pulling your bodies apart. You slipped off the table and felt tears fill your eyes. Your childhood was so foul, and so had your whole life honestly. Until you had met Kai.

You snuck back to bed, sitting on the edge, waiting for Kai to join in postcoital cuddling.

Kai walked over to you, sitting naked next to you on the bed. He turned you towards him and held out his pinky.

You instantly linked yours with his. Kai sighed happily. He always felt more whole when he was connected to you in some way.

“Ask me anything you want,” Kai proposed. He never stopped eye contact. You licked your lips in thought. You felt like you already knew as much as you needed to, but you decided to ask not what he feared, but what motived him instead.

“What is the purpose of your life?” You narrowed your eyes at Kai, waiting to hear his response. He broke into a wide smile and looked off in the distance as if replaying memories in his head.

He squeezed your pinky with his and then leaned in so his cute freckled nose was almost touching yours. His eyes again- fiery and intensely locked with yours. He had to speak nothing but the truth when you had your pinkies linked. He opened his mouth and gave you his one word response in a low sexy whisper.

“You.”

[urfavslytherclawgirl]

Ticking Bomb

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: A lot of angst, danger, swearing, mention of explosives, explosions, guns, more than one POV, very long imagine.

Summary: Being the one who put the Joker in jail made him never forget you, so when he escaped, he wanted revenge. But Bruce will always save you. No matter what.

Working as an attorney wasn't the nicest and easiest career you could choose to have, but you handled your way through it, and that made you damn good at what you did.

But being good at what you do means working until late at night while your boyfriend is waiting for you at his place so the two of you can have dinner together, and with that when you had the chance to leave, you almost ran out of the door.

You opened the door to the driver's seat of your car and put your purse on the seat next to you, everything was okay until your purse hit something, more like someone, making them laugh like a madman, for no reason.

Your wide eyes looked at the seat next to you, only to find it occupied by none other than the person who made you appear in the news, the one who made your career change completely, the one you helped but in jail, the Joker. He had a gun in his hands, aiming it centimeters from your temple.

"You should see your face, it's almost like you're scared of me...oh right, you are." He laughed and finally pressed the gun to your temple.

"W-what do you want?" Your voice was shaking in fear. You were thinking about how he got out of jail. It didn't appear on the news like it usually did, with them telling you to look out for the maniac and to be careful while on the streets, especially at night.

"Let's take a ride through Gotham, shall we?" You had no idea why he was doing this. Maybe he just chose someone randomly and decided that this person would be his victim of the night.

You nodded your head, making sure to not get him angry, you turned the car engine on and got out of the parking lot next to the building where you worked. "Where do I go?" You asked without thinking, maybe if you do exactly what he wants he might let you live.

"Let's go to...Chinatown, love it there." His plan was inconsistent, he had to think about where he was going. Originally you thought maybe he wanted to get help to go to a certain place but no, he just wants attention. That was the most accurate guess

As you were driving, the gun was still pressed to your temple and your phone rang inside your purse. "Oh, well look at that, let's see who it is." Joker got your phone from inside the purse and looked at the caller's ID.

"Your boyfriend. Answer it, and tell him you're staying 'till late at work, got it, or else, there is gonna be blood in this car, and it won't be mine." Shit, you forgot you were late for dinner. He pressed the 'answer' button and put it on speaker.

"Hey, sweetheart. Where are you? Are you on your way? Alfred misses you, and I do too." It was a little calming to hear your lover's voice, but you soon remembered you had to answer when the gun pressed harder.

"Hi, Bruce. Enduring work, as always. Look, I think I'm not gonna make it to dinner. Please tell Alfred I'm sorry, sorry to you too." Your words were slow, while you thought about the next one. He was Batman, after all, he'd notice your words started with certain letters, letters that spelled HELP. If he didn't, you'll find a way to save yourself. You hoped.

"Oh we--" The call was ended by Joker before Bruce could say anything else, he looked serious, shit, maybe he noticed, before he started laughing again, that stupid and ridiculous laugh of his.

-

The call was quick, too quick for Bruce's liking, his girlfriend had never been like that, hanging up in his face, talking slowly or shortly. On the contrary, when she got stuck at work, she'd spend at least twenty minutes talking to Bruce until one of her partners would call her and she'd have to hang up.

"Alfred, could you get a sheet of paper and a pen?" Bruce said while looking at the dinner table, the empty seat next to him, and then the window, "Certainly, Master Bruce," Alfred answered.

"Will she not be joining us today?" Alfred questioned while placing the paper and the pen on the table. Bruce knew exactly who he was talking about even though he didn't mention her name, there was no other "she", she was the only one.

With a few clicks on his phone, the audio of the call replayed, "Hi, Bruce. Enduring work, as always. Look, I think I'm not gonna make it to dinner. Please tell Alfred I'm sorry, sorry to you too.", Bruce copied that on the sheet of paper, he looked at it once, then twice. Nothing. It sounded weird, but visually and audibly nothing was wrong with it.

"I once read a book about a detective, where he used many tricks to understand a hidden message," Alfred was now looking at the piece of paper. "You can try, changing the order of letters. " Alfred suggested before going back into the kitchen.

How was he going to do that?

-

Chinatown was dark, with only a few people walking through it. "Never mind, let's go to the circus." He said after a twenty-minute drive, the gun wasn't at your temple this time, but at your lower ribs, so no one would see it.

"The only circus I know is out of Gotham." You reminded him, hoping you'd make him change his mind, it was much easier for him to kill you there, or on the highway, who knew?

"Shame." That was all he said, he looked out the window while the gun pressed harder, you took a deep breath and started turning around towards the highway.

After about fourteen minutes on the highway, Joker sighed and the gun pressed on your ribs was released, making your breathing a bit steadier. "Why are you doing this, if you want to kill me just do it already." You questioned him with a lot of conviction, you'd already accepted that fate, getting shot by the Joker.

"You put me in hell, so now I'll put you through on as well." He answered getting something from inside his pocket. Was he talking about you helping your boss with his case, making sure to get him a life sentence? If that was it, he put himself through that.

"I'll make you burn in hell, or get burned by it." As you looked at what was in his hands all the steadying your breathing had made got ruined. A small detonator was in his hands, meaning, there was a bomb somewhere.

"Let me explain my wonderfully made plan, there's a bomb in the car, right? But it won't explode if I press this button, no. It only activates the bomb, but it only explodes when you stop the car, and you will stop, willingly or not. Smart right?" That was it. You were dead already, so maybe you could get on his nerves for the last time.

"But you'll explode with me?" Your eyes were fixed on the road ahead of you, and the laughs started again.

"No, I won't. See you in hell." He pressed the button, unlocked the doors, and jumped out of the car, his laugh could still be heard, and the tears started flowing from your eyes.

That was it.

Maybe, if you hadn't been so hurried about getting to dinner he would've left the car, get bored and all. Or maybe, you shouldn't have denied when you told Bruce he didn't have to pick you up earlier that day.

All those 'What if' scenarios were ruined by your phone buzzing, Bruce.

You picked up, never letting go of the steering wheel.

"B-bruce, please you have to help me!" The sound of what seemed like a motorcycle accelerating could be heard from the other side of the phone call.

"Stop the car and tell me where you are, or else I'll never reach you!" Bruce said, the tears started again.

"I can't. There's a bomb, in the car--" You tried to explain before you were cut off by Bruce. "If you stop it explodes." You hummed in response and kept driving.

You looked at the fuel gauge just to notice it was low, really low. That's why the Joker wanted you to go to many places, so you could waste gasoline and get screwed right now. He truly was a psycho, a fucking good one.

"Are you close to the beach we went to last month? If you are, go there. Trust me, baby." Bruce said before the call ended due to bad connection.

If you made a few turns you could get to a beach Bruce mentioned. The memories of it made you smile through tears. It was one of your many dates of the month and one of the most romantic one.

Your gasoline was near the end when you thankfully made it there, suddenly, the motorcycle appeared with Bruce, or better saying, Batman, in there, while he looked at you with concern in his eyes.

"Look, I want you to drive towards the water okay?!" He shouted due to the loud sound of his motorcycle and your car going fast, you nodded and did that.

"Take your seatbelt off, and step hard on the accelerator!" The dark sky made things harder, but you managed to do what he said.

Bruce got closer to you and opened the door, making you gasp, he looked at you with the 'trust me' eyes and you nodded.

"Jump!" After that, everything was pitch black, your body hit the sand hard, and seconds later you heard an explosion and sounds of water splashing.

As you opened your eyes, strong arms wrapped around you, kissing your head.

"I've got you, baby. I've got you." He'd mumble in your ear.

"It was out of a sudden, I got in the car and Joker was there and... never mind I'll tell you later. Thank you, baby. I love you so so much, I'm so sorry." Your shaking voice said while holding him tighter.

"Don't ever apologize, I promise you I'll get him and lock him up in hell if I have to. Let's go home, come on. I'll make you a warm bath and heat Alfred's food." You hugged his torso and he hugged you back.

"I'll always protect you. I swear it."

[puffins-studio]

Jason Grace ⚡️

I think the reason am so excited now for the Percy Jack and the Chalice of the gods, is I think it seems like it a chance to experience Percy Jackson in the moment. I been in the fandom for a bit, even tho it seems like it just me in my little corner when the books come out. But I got into them when the Apollo trials were being released. And this is the first time for me me a book is going to come out that has Percy as a main character. So my brain is just making it randomly special. Last minute I decided I wanted to post something, and I have the 7 made plus two mystery people, so I decided to post one of them and I thought what better why to celebrate then with a joke. As aren’t you wondering ’where’s percy?’

I do love Jason, he deserved to have lived. It why he lives in my headcannons

Hazel

Percy & Annabeth

Nico & Will (tsats spoilers)

Leo

Many Jason headcannons below as I love headcannons and love sharing them.

[ID: The picture is a felt doll that is the shape of a gingerbread men with a big circle head he is Jason Grace from Percy Jackson. He have light skin felt, blond short hair, Gold rim glass, and a little scar where a mouth would’ve be. He have on a yellow shirt, tan jacket, that have a purple, orange, and yellow bead for pins. He in light blue jeans that are cuffed, and a chain hanging on his right side. He in black converse like shoes. He have a bracelet on this right that is a braid of purple,blue, and black. And another that is an asexual color one, black,grey,white,purple. He have a camp half blood necklace with a purple and a yellow bead. And he have a white round bead that is supposed to be a stand in for a moon theme necklace.:ID]

Jason headcannons

Surviving

Either Hera was watching and was mad that Zeus’s punishment for Apollo would get her champion killed and give Apollo some of his healing powers or saved Jason from the killing blow. Kinda to also show the gods can be cruel but also kind. Or Artemis save him as she save Apollo and Jason is also like a brother as Thalia convince her. It also as he had plans to build the temples so maybe one of the minor god healed him as he maybe for Storm to fall, Jason just need to let go and fall a get high. Lol like god level trust fall.

Pants

Jason had a hard time trying to find pants that would fit and when he finally found pant that fit his waist they were too long in the leg. He was going to hem them but he keep forgetting so he just cuff them and Will sees and ask Nico about it and Nico is like should I tell him- no this is funny. And it just Jason doing a ton of bi things without knowing

the chain, Nico and Jason do activities together as they both have memories parts, and Nico take it upon himself as a favor for Thaila, to show him the way of being a punk. Just imagine the first day of this, Nico just clip the chain to his pants and he just “look at you, already looking the part” and the black shoes are a part of this. Thinking he may try to paint lights bolts on them or something.

Jacket

power wise with Jason’s flight a aviator jacket is better for him when flighting but he doesn’t want to copy Nico’s look in case it upset him (it won’t, Nico would just tease him about it) but so he gets this coat and Nico end up teasing him as it an old man jacket and Jason tease back saying if course Nico knows this as he is an old man. (When trying to find a reference picture i didn’t know what this jacket was calls and so typed old man jackets and it popped up

Pins I kinda can’t remember as I forgot to note it down, but I think it the two camps, and some random lighting pin Nico, or Leo found, or they can just be pins the 7 found that made them think of Jason so he have something that reminds him that he is someone.

Bracelets

Going with Nico’s adventure with the Apollo bracelet making. He makes Jason and Percy matching bug 3 bl as they always joke they are brothers and just Nico leaving them in their cabins as he doesn’t want to make a scene, but Jason and Percy find one of them in cabin 1 when Percy was hanging out together and they are like wait and run to cabin 3 to find Percy’s and they put them on and go run over to find Nico and they make a big fus about Nico does love them and Nico is like no thr purl for heazl, black is for him and he likes the color blue but they just ruffles his hair.

And he have a ace bracelet from Nico too. He the first to get a pride bracelet from Nico and he help Nico put on his as he helped him get to this place where he could be proud so Nico wanted him to tie it as like a sign of trust.

Asexual

I feel like a headcannon a lot of Percy Jackson characters as ace but we deserve it. As also like sex repulsedace son of Jupiter/ Zeus kinda funny in my book. Like Dad is basically known for hooking up and Jason is like nope. Him and Nico being two confused aces together as like Nico trying to explain it to him and Jason like isn’t that how everyone feels? And once Nico knows what he feeling has a name, he runs to Jason to tell him too.

I headcannon Artemis lets any gender join the hunter they just have to sworn off sex and be loyal to her (if you like that took then look up the myth of hippolytus by Overly Sarcastic Productions. I love that channel too!). And each time the hunters visit campus they ask if anyone want to join. One time when they come around when Nico and Will got together, before Nico tells Thalia about them, she ask if he wants to join as she thought he still didn’t feel like he has a place and he like no I think if found a place with the help of Will, Jason, and everyone here. and then she also asked Jason if he want to join them. and he thought about it for a moment and realized he already been through a lot, does he really want an immoral life of it, and what sold him on not joining is he happens to looked over to where Nico was watching him and he saw Nico’s worry eyes, a look basically pleading him not to go. And that night Jason and Nico have a sleepover in the hades cabin, with Nico may or may not having saying that he wants Jason to be his brother and he will be his brother in return.

The necklace is also like a thing for Artemis/Diana (for if she the one who save him), the hunt/his sister, and ace pride. I feel in his look for his identity, finally realizing one part of himself that makes him him, he would just be happy about it, and full embrace it.

Random

Him and Percy dare each other to do stupid things like when Jason meet a new camp just hit himself with lightning and act as if nothing happens

Am going to add another headcannon here as I like it and I need it.

Being hit in the head

Jason with actual brain damage from all his concussion . I want him with a TBI, him having memory problems, having a harder time spelling and reading. As someone with a TBI I want a character with a brain injury that isn’t a vegetable, who just get angered every 10 minutes or just walks it off. Him talking with Will/Chiron about concussions and stuff and him being a bit worried about hitting his head again, him and Nico talking about memory issues. Give him a bit of a speech impediment or sensitive to lights and sounds. Jason and Nico hanging out in the dark hades cabin when they have migraine days. Jason asking Will for help for a talk to the camp about being cautious about any type of brain injury. As the brain is important and weird and it can behave differently for everyone, and healing magic can’t heal it completely, so they need to be careful.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Mine - Chapter 5

Summary: Joel goes to an event in town with Y/N and gets jealous of how easily Negan seems to make Y/N happy. In the name of making Y/N happy, Negan attempts to build a friendship with Joel. 

Characters: Joel Miller (TLOU), Negan (TWD), the reader (OC, third person), Ellie Williams (TLOU), Tommy Miller (TLOU),  Maria Miller (TLOU), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45115177/chapters/114385825

Warnings: Swearing, angst, etc.

Notes: Nothing too extensive this chapter, thank you to those that have supported this story! Gif Credits: @manny-jacinto & @jdmorganz​

“Everything is going to be okay,” Y/N coached Joel as they walked to the bar in town seeing that his eyes were staring down at the ground. The last thing that Joel wanted to do was be a very social person. They were having a small celebration there and Tommy had asked them to come. After work, Joel just preferred to come home and relax. It helped him unwind and he liked being comfortable in his own home. Being in a group of people never really appealed to him and Y/N could see that he was trying to talk himself down. Reaching out her hand, she slid hers into Joel’s and felt him tense against her touch. Turning his head, Joel looked down and grasped her fingers in his. “We’ve got this.”

With a nod, Joel swallowed down hard and kept up with her while they walked. It had been a few weeks since he had promised her that he was going to do his best to be better. He was trying. He still had his moments where he would go back to his old ways, but she had to give him credit for the things that he did do. At least now she knew that Joel was taking a conscious effort to do things to make her feel like they were in an actual relationship together. And she appreciated that.

When they entered the bar, the loudness of the bar immediately made Joel cringe and his eyes sought out his brother. Joel was antisocial and she assumed that he was that way long before the world fell to shit. Joel’s grasp on her hand was strong as he led her through the bar when he spotted Tommy in the corner with Maria and others. Joel was on a mission to avoid the people in the town and he was making sure to do so.

Tommy specifically had a table for his group so Joel didn’t have to suffer much from things. For Y/N, it was more so trying to fit in with Joel and his family so that way she could make Joel comfortable. Usually she would be more social at things like this, but with Joel gripping onto her hand like he would never let go, there wasn’t many places that she could go.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” a voice boomed between the two of them, an arm hooking around both Y/N and Joel’s shoulders to pull them in close. The motion made Y/N laugh, but Joel grumbled when it was Negan that was hugging the both of them. “My favorite couple in this whole damn town.”

“I take offense to that,” Maria joked watching Negan’s face wrinkle up and he stuck his tongue out at her making her laugh along with Tommy.

“It’s so good to see the both of you,” Negan stammered, turning to press a kiss against Joel’s temple who let out an overwhelmed sound with how touchy-feely Negan actually was. When he was done, Negan did the same to Y/N before giving them both one big, final squeeze. Deep down, Y/N knew that Negan likely did that with Joel because he was just screwing with Joel knowing the kind of person that Joel was. Personal space was not something that Negan knew about and he did like making people feel uncomfortable at times. “I was hoping I would see the two of you tonight.”

“You’re drunk as a skunk, aren’t you?” Joel eyed over Negan, watching Negan pull up a seat to be close to both Joel and Y/N. Joel reached up to rub at his head where Negan had kissed making Negan snicker. Negan had clearly been there a while as he was rather sweaty and his smile expanded over his amused features.

“I am not actually. I haven’t had a drink since I was injured. With the pain medication, that’s not a great idea,” Negan informed Joel with a bob of his head, dragging his tongue out over his bottom lip. “I’m trying not to take as much of the pain pills right now, but they are still in my system. Ellie actually lectured me about it the other day. I guess she found a guy that killed himself with pills and alcohol. She thought I was doing the same. I promised her I would never do that shit. You’ve got a good kid there Joel.”

“Yeah, I do,” Joel agreed, his southern drawl thick when he looked between Y/N and Negan. “You spend a lot of time with Ellie?”

“Ellie and Morgan are close so she’s over a lot. Plus, we share a common interest in video games and comics. We have a similar wicked sense of humor,” Negan explained getting more comfortable in the seat that he was in knowing that he had both Y/N and Joel’s full attention.

“Why am I not surprised to hear that you like that kind of stuff?” Joel huffed making Negan’s eyebrows bounce up followed by an amused rumble of a laugh falling from Negan’s throat. “I guess I’m glad that Ellie has someone to talk to those things about. She’s passionate about it and I reckon it helps her feel more accepted in a place like this.”

“We all know I’m a big kid at heart,” Negan acknowledged, looking over at Y/N who nodded and he reached out to squeeze over her shoulder. After that final kiss, the two of them went back to normal. Well, as normal as things could be really. Neither one of them acknowledged the kisses that they shared. At this point, they really were living like those moments were just dreams that they had.

“I think that’s why the kids here love you so much,” Tommy spoke up making Negan bob his head once. “You do have a way with kids Negan, I give you that.”

“I’m still surprised that Maria here made you a teacher at the school. After having you as their teacher I feel like the kids are going to come home swearing like sailors,” Joel commented on Negan’s mouth. Negan was known for swearing, a lot. And anyone who knew him knew that his favorite word was often fuck so to hear that Negan was a teacher that was working with kids surprised the hell out of Joel. Maria was stern about things, so making Negan a teacher didn’t seem like a move that she would usually go for.

“I’ve actually heard good things about Negan so far. It’s brand new, so things could change, but everyone seems to like him,” Maria claimed making Joel huff something underneath his breath before smirking. “I think we’re all getting used the swearing here between Negan and Ellie. They both have mouths on them we weren’t quite used to, but after over a year it doesn’t surprise people as much.”

“Plus, I’m only there two days a week. Maria split me up and it’s been nice. Two days there, two days at the dining hall and two days with the library. Which of course you know,” Negan rambled on, waving his hand in the air while he spoke. If there was one thing that Negan was, it was animated. Since Negan wanted help putting together the library, he asked Maria to let him have Y/N working with him on those two days and she agreed. It was a gradual start for them, especially since they were both still injured, but it was nice being able to still work together. Y/N had other odds and ends she did on the other days, but she liked the new experience working with the books and Negan. “I like it so much more than working at the powerplant.”

“Well we certainly do miss you there,” Tommy spoke up loud enough so Negan could hear him across the table. Negan smiled brightly and got up from the seat he was in to walk around the table, wrapping Tommy up in a big bear hug from behind that made Tommy groan out, but laugh out. It made Joel looked down and he swallowed down hard. It seemed like everyone in this town loved Negan, including his own brother. “Who else is going to help save lives there? You were one of the hardest workers that we had.”

“I miss you too pretty boy…and all this glorious hair,” Negan played with Tommy’s hair making Tommy eagerly push Negan away with a snort.

“Are we sure he’s not drunk?” Joel leaned across to Y/N who smirked and reached for Joel’s hand again to give it a firm squeeze.

“That’s just Negan. You get used to it,” she reached up to brush her fingers through Joel’s hair before Negan moved around the table to return to his seat that was by the both of them.

“Speaking of, how are the both of you feeling?” one of the members of the town that was sitting at the table with them asked. Negan pointed to Y/N wanting her to go first and she felt like she was on the spot.

“The wrist is still a little sore, but not too bad,” she explained knowing that she still wore the wrap some days because of the ache that was there. “I can’t complain really. I’m alive because of Negan. That’s all that matters.”

“Oh hush, your pain matters,” Negan silenced her with a frown, shaking his head when he noticed she was downplaying her injury. “I hate that people act like I’m some kind of hero for doing something that everyone would have done given the chance.”

“We’ve already talked about this,” she reminded Negan knowing that people wouldn’t have done what he did. “Enough about me, what about you?”

“Well, just know that we’re all happy that you’re still here Y/N,” Negan gave Y/N a wink before reaching to place his hand in over his ribs. “The ribs still hurt. I’m definitely overdoing it sometimes. Both with the arm and the ribs. The sling was just driving me crazy.”

“If you don’t let yourself heal, it will only be worse,” Maria suggested from across the table making Negan bob his head about. “You should listen to the doctor.”

“I know, but trust me, I’ve been through so much worse,” Negan stammered and it made Y/N’s eyes fall to the faded scar that was over Negan’s neck that he had told her about. There was no doubt that she was the only person in town that knew that was there, but she could definitely understand how Negan may think that was worse. “A few broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder seem like nothing in the long term.”

“I still feel so bad that it happened,” Tommy confessed with a frown and Joel knew that it was true. Tommy talked about it quite often and there was definitely a clear sense of guilt from all of it. “I should have listened to you.”

“It’s in the past, it’s no big deal,” Negan waved his hand about showing that he didn’t want to focus on the accident. “We are alive and that is what matters the most at the end of the day. Enough about us though, what about you? How are things with the baby?”

“Great,” Tommy offered up a big smile hearing Maria laugh beside him and he lowered down in his seat. “It’s a bit tiring if I’m going to be honest. I love being a father. I really do. But having a baby is so damn hard. You finally get them to rest and it feels like when you get relaxed enough to do something, they start up again.”

“We are doing our best though,” Maria added to the conversation making Tommy nod. “We’re blessed to have the baby and I can’t stress how thankful we are to be parents.”

“There are some things I definitely noticed about being a parent though. Did you ever notice that when you are about to have a child people always tell you how great is going to be for you, but when you finally have the baby, they tell you how it’s like hell on Earth?” Tommy was so blatant in his comment that it made all of them laugh. “I’m just saying, no one warns you how hard things are going to be until you have had the baby.”

“It’s the hardest job in the world,” Negan replied making Joel’s eyebrows furrow and he gazed over at Negan with a tip of his head. “Plus, you never get personal time to yourself. And I’m sure the two of you are looking to have a date night at some point.”

“Yeah, sex is a big no go,” Tommy stated with a grunt when Maria smacked at the center of his chest firmly. “I’m just saying, as soon as you have a child, that’s never happening.”

“Everyone doesn’t need to hear that though,” Maria chuckled at how open Tommy had just been with the others.

“I envy Joel and Y/N sometimes. They have Ellie to deal with and she pretty much takes care of herself,” Tommy pointed out with a tip of his head making Joel roll his eyes and shake his head. “All the time in the world to have sex…”

“Tommy,” Joel snapped from across the table making Tommy snicker before leaning back in his chair. “We don’t need to hear about my sex life.”

“It’s okay to have a healthy relationship, Joel. I think that’s all your brother is trying to say,” Negan spoke finding himself amused that Joel’s face flushed over with red.

“Oh, well then what about you Negan? Do you have lots of sex?” Joel turned toward Y/N’s friend making Negan smirk before letting out a rumble of an entertained sound. The table went quiet when Negan shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

“Sure, I’ve had loads of sex with my right and left hand,” Negan held his hands up making Maria roll her eyes and shake her head. “Sorry buddy, I don’t have any good sex stories for you. I’ll be honest and tell you that I haven’t had sex in over five years.”

“Bullshit,” Joel accused Negan of lying and Negan shook his head, biting down on his bottom lip.

“I wish I was shitting you,” Negan reached out to pat Joel on the shoulder making Joel tense up. “So if anyone is going to be giving us stories, it’s going to be you. So if you feel the need to talk about sex, we’re all ears.”

“Stop,” Y/N swatted at Negan’s chest making Negan shrug his shoulders as if he was waiting for Joel. There was a lump at the center of Joel’s throat that he swallowed down before shaking his head. Reaching for Negan’s arm, Y/N pulled Negan up from the chair he was in making Negan laugh out loud. “We’re going to go look at the arcade game. Please ignore this goof. I’ll be back baby.”

“Sure thing,” Joel offered up a half-smile when Y/N bent down to press a quick kiss over Joel’s lips. It made him still uncomfortable doing it in public, but he accepted the kiss. Watching her walk away with Negan, Joel could see the two of them playfully swatting at each other’s hands. Their laughter was still heard while she took Negan over toward the game in the corner.

“I’m glad to see you’re taking that whole relationship thing seriously now,” Tommy leaned across the table making Joel’s dark eyes look back at him. “Since the day we talked it seems like things have been different between the two of you.”

“I’m trying,” Joel responded with a loud swallow hating that he was becoming the topic of discussion.

“I’ll be right back gentleman,” Maria excused herself, getting up from the table. After she did, Tommy got up from where he was sitting to move in beside Joel, sliding close enough so it was just the two of them that could talk.

“I had a talk with both you and Ellie that day. You both said some things that made me think and I’ve been trying to be what she needs,” Joel informed his brother, looking back over his shoulder to see her and Negan playing the game together. Seeing her smiling made Joel smirk and he sighed. “She smiles more now. That’s all that matters to me.”

“So you do love her?” Tommy questioned making Joel sigh and lower down in the chair that he was in. It was strange how fast that word could shut Joel down. He knew that Y/N loved him and he didn’t hate her telling him that she loved him, but as soon as it came to love from him, he hated the term. “I mean, it’s obvious that she makes you happy.”

“I don’t want to use that word,” Joel responded making his brother roll his eyes and groan. “It’s nothing against her, I just think using that word makes things more complicated than they have to be. When you love someone, it gives the world the chance to rip your heart out and stomp on it. I’ve had that so much in my life that I just can’t do it again little brother.”

“I know that Joel, but regardless, you would have your heart ripped out if she died Joel,” Tommy insisted with a shake of his head. “Saying I love you doesn’t change that.”

“I don’t know if I’m capable of love. A lot of what I’m doing feels forced, but I know it’s right for her,” Joel maintained with a loud sigh. Rubbing his palms in over his thighs Joel knew that he hated opening up about his relationship, but he was trying. “I want her in my life and I can’t imagine not having her in it.”

“That’s love,” Tommy declared making Joel shift uneasily again. “I understand being scared, but it’s the idea of death that should make you live in the here and now. We know that we’re all going to die. We just don’t know when. That’s what should make you want to live now Joel. Because we know we’re going to die, that’s what should encourage you to accomplish what you can now big brother. Love, emotions, relationships…you want to have something where you can leave a piece of yourself behind. You have me and Ellie, but it doesn’t hurt to open yourself up to another person Joel.”

“I’m trying,” Joel frowned, dragging his hand down over the side of his face. “When did you become this good with your words?”

“Marrying Maria has opened me up to a lot of different things,” Tommy insisted, his attention being pulled when he heard Negan and Y/N laughing together from where they were seated. “Like those two. They are incredibly close. I’m surprised you’re so…okay with it.”

“She’s allowed to have friends. I can’t even tell her I love her, who would I be if I told her who she could and could not be friends with?” Joel responded making Tommy’s face twist in contemplation before he nodded. “I think it’s good she has him in her life, but I am…jealous of him.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear you say that,” Tommy muttered, shaking his head while he watched Negan and Y/N nudging each other with their hips while trying to distract the other one from playing the game that they were. “I like Negan, but if you weren’t jealous of him, I’d be worried about you.”

“He just makes her smile and laugh so easily,” Joel recognized with an ache at the center of his chest seeing the way that Y/N laughed when she was with Negan. Joel never got that kind of response out of her.

“Well, the man is funny,” Tommy pointed out making Joel huff. “You two have similar backgrounds and you’re a lot alike, but he’s…well, he’s got a sense of humor.”

“Are you saying I don’t have a sense of humor?” Joel turned his head to glare out at Tommy who immediately swallowed down hard.

“I mean, you can be funny…sometimes,” Tommy watched Joel smirk before rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“I was just screwing with you little brother,” Joel reached out to pat Tommy on the knee making Tommy let out a long, shallow breath. “You have to stop worrying about offending me as much as you do. I’m your brother. I can handle anything you have to say about me.”

“Well…” Tommy swallowed down hard watching Negan and Y/N together. After their game, Negan turned to Y/N and reached for her hand. Tipping his head to the side, he noticed that they were deep in conversation when the song changed on the jukebox. It pulled Negan’s attention to the dancefloor where people were dancing and he nodded toward it. Negan pulled her toward the dancefloor part of the bar and spun her once making her laugh when she fell into his chest before they started dancing together. “That should be you doing that with her.”

“I don’t dance,” Joel protested, watching Y/N with Negan while they danced together. It wasn’t a romantic song or anything of the sorts. They were just having fun being silly. “I don’t like having the attention on me like that.”

“You know, you could probably learn a thing or two from Negan,” Tommy suggested making his brother let out an overwhelmed sound. “I don’t mean be exactly like him, he just gets people to like him really easily. I think he could help you learn to relax and put your guard down.”

Joel felt a lump developing in his throat when the song changed and it was suddenly a slow song that brought Y/N and Negan closer together. It made Joel lean forward in his chair and he rubbed at the back of his neck knowing that he was stressed about the outcome of their dancing. The jealousy that he started to feel was flaring up when he looked between Y/N and Negan to his brother.

“I’ll be back,” Joel announced and Tommy smile brightly.

“That’s my boy,” Tommy pat his brother on the back when Joel got up and carefully moved through the group of people that were on the dance floor toward Y/N and Negan.

“You mind if I cut in?” Joel spoke up loud enough for the two of them to hear and it drew Y/N’s surprised eyes to him.

“You want to dance?” she seemed astonished when Joel swallowed down hard and nodded. “Really?”

“No problem,” Negan stepped back and away from Y/N holding his hand up for Joel to move in closer to her to do so. “Be my guest boss. I need to get something to drink anyways.”

Negan stepped aside without question and Joel moved forward to reach for Y/N’s hand before curling his arm loosely around her waist to pull her carefully in against him. There was shock in Y/N’s eyes that Joel asked her to dance while she draped her arm over his shoulder.

“Bear with me because I’ve never been very good with this,” Joel explained knowing that this was against everything that he was, but he was taking Tommy’s advice trying to be a bit more like Negan in the name of making her happier. Y/N seemed elated that he was just trying while her eyes were hooked on his. “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this.”

“I don’t care. I’m just glad you decided to do this,” she responded knowing that Joel was uneasy while he moved, but he was doing his best not to stand out like a sore thumb. At that moment, she didn’t care if they looked horrible on the dancefloor. In her eyes, she was able to cancel everyone else out in order to enjoy the moment with Joel. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he grumbled, his eyebrows furrowing when she gave him a smirk.

“For doing this for me,” she whispered, adjusting her arm to set it at his side when her head lowered against the center of his broad chest. This was completely against everything that Joel was and the fact he took this step really impressed her. At first, he thought she would have been upset that he broke up her dance with Negan, but he noticed that this seemed to mean so much to her.

He didn’t need to say anything in response. He just lowered his head and rest his chin over the top of her head in order to keep her close to him. Taking a look around the bar, he saw that most of the people there were so lost in themselves that they didn’t even notice the two of them together. It made him think of how Ellie told him it was just natural for things to be like this and maybe she was right. Showing some kind of affection in public wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

When the song ended and something more upbeat started to play, Joel found himself thankful when Maria came over and asked to steal Y/N away from him for a few to show her something back at the house. Maria assured Joel that they would be coming back, so Joel went over to the bar to get himself something to drink so he could avoid having to be social.

“Hey,” a voice made Joel jump when someone quickly moved in beside him when he was taking a drink of his whiskey. Looking beside him, Joel saw Negan’s hazel eyes hooked on his and Joel let out an extended exhale. “Do you think we could talk?”

“Go for it,” Joel shrugged his shoulders when Negan took a seat beside him at the bar. It amused Joel hearing Negan getting himself a ginger ale considering where they were.

“I guess this is a bit fucking forward and I apologize for that, but I get the hint you don’t like me too much,” Negan confessed making Joel swallow down hard, the lines in his forehead growing when he lowered the drink down to the top of the bar. “It’s okay, I know that I’m probably a lot to take for some fucking people.”

“You’re just loud,” Joel explained making Negan smirk when Joel tried to be as polite as he could in response to that. “I’m obviously not. So you shouldn’t worry. Most of the town here probably thinks I’m a scary, raging asshole.”

“Scary yes, but I’m not sure they think you’re an asshole. Most people look up to you and think you’re something special Joel,” Negan informed Joel with a long sigh, stroking his large palm over the top of the bar. “The reason I want to talk to you is because of Y/N.”

“Oh?” Joel gave Negan his full attention, his eyebrow arching in curiosity. “What about?”

“She’s my best friend and obviously she means a lot to me,” Negan stated with a bob of his head, his words coming to a halt when he thought about that statement. Even though they both avoided the whole kisses that happened between them, that was why Negan was doing this. “Which is why I think the two of us should be friends. You are everything to her and I would like to be friends with my best friend’s significant other.”

“You want to be friends?” Joel almost seemed amused making Negan’s face scrunch up and Joel raised his hand to try to avoid offending Negan. “I’m not making fun of you. I swear.”

“I know we’re very different, but I just know that we both have something in common and that’s how much we care for Y/N. And I really like Ellie too,” Negan sighed, keeping his stare locked with Joel’s. Even though Joel was making him uncomfortable, he didn’t want to show that. Being friends with Joel meant that his intentions would be absolutely pure between both Joel and Y/N. “I think we would have a lot in common if we gave a friendship a try.”

Joel lowered his head taking his time to think things out. For the most part, Joel just liked sticking to himself and doing what he had to do in town, but he knew that Negan was making this effort for Y/N, “You like video games, right?”

“I do,” Negan nodded, his eyebrow arching with a tip of his head when Joel looked to him. “You play them?”

“No, not at all, but Ellie and I have a day alone tomorrow because Y/N is working. If you want to come over to Ellie’s place in my backyard and spend some time with the two of us to play some games or something, I’m willing to try,” Joel offered making a smirk tug at Negan’s lips. “I don’t know what your schedule is…”

“That’s my one day off, so I’m in,” Negan gave a bob of his head making Joel huff when he shifted on the seat.

“It’s under one condition right now though,” Joel spoke up quiet, looking over his shoulder to make sure that no one was around them.

“Okay?” Negan seemed to be waiting for the ‘but’ in the situation wondering where it was going.

“You don’t tell Y/N about it. It’s not that I don’t want her knowing that we are trying to start a friendship. We can do the whole video game thing for a while, but I actually want you to come over for something else. Something much more personal,” Joel declared making Negan let out a hesitant laugh. Negan’s eyebrow arched and Joel felt his face get hot rather quickly knowing that Negan’s mind went south with his comment. “No! It’s not like that! Listen, I’m just hoping that maybe you can give me some tips on how to be more like you.”

“Oh,” Negan snorted shaking his head when he mistook what Joel was attempting to suggest between the two of them. “What do you mean exactly? You’re Joel.”

“And you’re Negan and everyone seems to like you,” Joel pointed out, circling his finger around in the air. “I don’t know, maybe you can give me some tips on how to be better in my relationship with Y/N as well as be more…welcoming with the people here. I don’t want people to know that I’m asking for this help, so…”

“You’re secret is fucking safe with me,” Negan placed his hand in over the center of his chest and he could tell that Joel was embarrassed to begin with to even ask him. “We can talk about things, but I think Y/N loves you the way you are.”

“Of course she does, but I think we both know there are some things that I could be doing better,” Joel noted since he was well aware that Y/N talked to Negan about their relationship. “The truth is…I’m jealous of you Negan.”

“Jealous of me?” Negan seemed flabbergasted that it was even a thought in Joel’s mind. “You’re like the fucking hero around here Joel. Everyone is scared of you, but they fucking admire the hell out of you. You’re the one they look to when we need help around town. I’m just some random asshole living here.”

“But you make Y/N smile and people like you. I need to be better with people,” Joel noted hating that he had to ask Negan for help in this situation, but he was desperate to make things better for Y/N. “I need to work on being the person that Y/N needs and you know her best. She really admires you and I know she does.”

“Okay, you have a deal boss,” Negan extended his hand out making Joel look down at it before accepting his hand to shake it. “We’ll have a play date tomorrow. Ten sound okay?”

“Sure,” Joel shrugged his shoulders clearing his throat when he felt a pair of arms loosely wrapping around his shoulders, surprising him. Looking back, he saw that it was Y/N that had obviously returned and he looked to Negan who immediately nodded his head toward Y/N’s arms. Lifting his hands up, Joel knew what Negan was suggesting when Joel loosely grabbed a hold of her arms to squeeze softly at them.

“Did you miss me?” Y/N asked, pressing a quick kiss over Joel’s cheek.

“I always miss you,” Joel muttered making Negan give him a hidden thumbs up before reaching for the ginger ale that he had gotten for himself to drink it down.

“What are the two of you doing?” Y/N reached out to place her hand in over Negan’s shoulder to give it a firm squeeze.

“Just talking about you and what an awful dancer you are,” Negan turned on the seat he was on making Y/N feign being offended. Reaching out, she faintly hit him in the center of his chest making Negan chuckle at her response, but she was laughing too so she obviously knew it was a joke. “Nah, we were just getting a drink together. I think we’ve both had enough of the crowds. I’m tired and I’m going to go home.”

“I’ll see you soon,” Y/N moved forward when Negan got up to give him a quick hug. Negan gave her a wink before reaching out to pat Joel on the shoulder. Joel appreciated that Negan could keep a secret, he just didn’t know how Y/N would react to him asking Negan for help in trying to be better for Y/N. So he was hopeful that Negan would be able to in fact keep his mouth shut about things.

---

“Why are you pacing so much?” Ellie questioned from where she was seated on her beanbag chair at the corner of her room. Joel seemed to be uncomfortable while they waited for Negan to show up. “You’re acting like you’re going on a date or something.”

“I’m not used to these social interactions,” Joel explained making Ellie snicker from where she was seated. “Plus, Y/N doesn’t know about this. I asked Negan over here to help me learn to be more…social.”

“Why can’t Y/N know about that?” Ellie tipped her head to the side with a genuine sense of curiosity flooding her young features.

“Because I asked him to help me be a better partner for Y/N,” Joel was honest with Ellie knowing that he often was about…most things. “Negan makes her laugh, a lot. He makes her happy and we know I could use some help.”

“I mean I could tell you what to do. You don’t need Negan for that. First of all, you’re her boyfriend, not partner. You tell her you love her. You show affection without having to be told,” Ellie blurt out making Joel huff out loud and she threw her hands up in the air. “It’s that easy Joel.”

“Yeah, but he makes her happy just being him and he’s not her…boyfriend,” Joel grumbled saying that word and it made Ellie roll her eyes dramatically. “You know I’m complicated Ellie.”

“No shit,” Ellie huffed out loud making Joel roll his eyes before a knock at the door was heard. Joel stood in place, his arms falling at his sides when he let out a long, frustrated breath. “Open the damn door.”

Joel shot a glare back at Ellie before heading over to the door to pull it open. When he did, he felt his heart stop seeing that Negan was standing before him with a little girl in his arms. Seeing her made Joel take a step back, his heart skipping a beat when he felt an ache at the center of his chest. With her extensively bushy curls and her tawny colored skin, Joel couldn’t help but see Sarah when she was younger in the little girl that was in Negan’s arms. The biggest difference was that the little girl’s eyes were a shade of hazel and she had rather large dimples while she stared out at Joel. With a shy expression she turned her head away from Joel and buried her head against the side of Negan’s neck making him snicker.

“Why are you shy all of a sudden?” Negan laughed, his right arm reaching around to caress over the center of the little girl’s back. Bouncing her a bit made the little girl pull her head back to stare out at Negan who gave her a big cheesy smile. In return it made the little girl smile and Joel felt like the room was spinning around him. There was so much of Sarah that he saw in the little girl when Negan leaned forward to press a kiss against her forehead. “Can you say hello? This is Joel.”

“Hello Joel,” the little girl whispered quietly making Joel’s throat go dry. Instead of responding, Joel just held onto the doorknob and before he could even make sense of what was happening Ellie was pushing him aside.

“Come on in guys,” Ellie made room for Negan to walk into her garage apartment. “I set up my other beanbag chair and two chairs for the four of us to play some games if you want.”

“Ellie,” the little girl wiggled in Negan’s arms eagerly to get out of them before running out to Ellie who lowered down to her knees to give the little girl a big hug. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too,” Ellie gave a big smile when she pulled back to look at the little girl. “How have you been?”

“Good,” the little girl whispered seeming to rock back and forth on her feet.

“In a few minutes she will be bouncing off the walls. She’s just being shy because you’re new,” Negan explained, stepping in beside Joel watching the two girls talking together and he had a grin on his face. When Negan looked to Joel, he could see that Joel seemed lost. “What’s wrong?”

“When you said playdate, I didn’t think you would be grabbing a random little girl from the community,” Joel pointed out making Negan’s nose wrinkle and he immediately chuckled hearing that response from Joel.

“This is Morgan you idiot,” Ellie caught Joel’s attention and it made his stomach sink when he realized that from all the discussions that they had that Morgan was an actual child. “Morgan, Negan’s daughter. Negan’s five-year-old daughter.”

“I’m almost six,” Morgan looked back at Joel in attempts to correct Ellie on her age making a weak smile tug at Joel’s lips.

“Well, not almost baby girl,” Negan reminded his daughter making Morgan pout when he reminded her that her birthday wasn’t entirely too close. “We’ve got quite a few months before you turn six.”

“But I’m almost six,” her young voice firmly stated making Negan laugh and he bobbed his head in agreeance.

“Yes, you’re almost six,” Negan folded his arms out in front of his chest when Morgan took a few steps in closer to Joel. With her big hazel eyes she stared up at him and it made Joel look between her and Negan before his focus was solely on her. There was no doubt that this was Negan’s daughter. She had his eyes and his dimples. How he didn’t pick up on that immediately made him feel ridiculously stupid.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Morgan extended her tiny hand out to Joel’s and Joel slowly lowered down to his knee so he could be at the same height when he accepted her hand for a shake. “Ellie says you’re a hero like the ones in the comics. Do you have any powers?”

“Well,” Joel looked to Ellie who gave Joel a nod as if to try to make him have a conversation with the little girl. Hearing that Ellie thought he was a hero surprised him. Especially after all they had been through. “I don’t have superpowers, but I’m pretty strong.”

“Like daddy?” Morgan inquired looking to Negan who was looking down at the little girl in awe. “He’s my hero.”

“He should be,” Joel stammered, finally releasing Morgan’s small hand and he knew that he was staring at her, but he couldn’t help himself. It was making him feel so many emotions seeing Morgan because she looked so much like Sarah did when she was younger.

“Hey Morgan, come check out this beanbag chair,” Ellie moved forward to reach for Morgan to motion her to sit down. “I’ll be right back, okay? Look at this really cool action figure that I found in town. It goes to that comic we look at together!”

Getting up from the ground, she stepped before Joel and Negan seeing that Joel’s face had gone pale, “What’s going on with you Joel?”

“Negan, I’m sorry,” Joel apologized feeling his words coming out in a stutter when he thought about the last year. “I genuinely didn’t know that Morgan was your daughter. I thought…I thought she was your significant other. You never mentioned a daughter, I just…”

“You thought Morgan was his girlfriend?” Ellie blurt out in embarrassment after Negan let out a tiny, half-amused laugh that was raspy. “Now that explains why some of the shit you said was so dumb in regard to Morgan. I often wondered why some of the stuff you said was so stupid.”

“Ellie,” Joel called out feeling incredibly out of place and awkward. When he gazed over at Morgan again, he could feel his head racing when flashbacks of his youth with Sarah flooded his memory. “I just didn’t realize. I’m so sorry.”

“I mean, I’m fairly certain I referred to her as my daughter or at least my little girl,” Negan pointed out making Ellie push into the center of Joel’s chest to get him to step back. “I don’t think I’ve ever talked about her like she was my…girlfriend or wife.”

“Joel is a little self-absorbed,” Ellie clarified making Joel growl out. His brow line creased, but Ellie could see that Negan was more so amused than offended. “Sometimes he’s so focused on other things that he doesn’t notice things about himself.”

“It’s okay, I don’t think he’s the only one,” Negan informed Ellie with an arch of his right eyebrow. “I picked up on things a little while ago with Y/N who also I think seems to think that Morgan is my significant other. Joel’s response just confirms that for me.”

“What?” Ellie snapped making Negan nod his head with an amused smirk pressing in over his rugged features. “How can she think that when she is supposed to be your best friend? Why haven’t you told her?”

“Well, until now I wasn’t a hundred percent sure, but also…I don’t know. I just was waiting to see how long it took for her to pick up on things. I think I’ve stressed quite a bit that Morgan is my daughter and I find it amusing when people don’t realize it,” Negan maintained making Ellie groan out and drag her hand down in over the front of her face.

“And by other people you mean Joel and Y/N because everyone else in the damn city knows she’s your child,” Ellie hit Joel’s chest with the back of her hand making Joel huff. “I have to worry about the both of you sometimes.”

“Daddy?” Morgan called out and almost instinctively, both Joel and Negan looked over at Morgan. Negan moved across the room and it made Joel tense up immediately when he saw Negan kneel down to whisper something to Morgan. They both smiled before Negan leaned forward to press a kiss against her forehead again.

“I need some air,” Joel announced, moving toward the door hearing the surprised sound that Ellie made. Rushing outside, Joel reached up to place his hand over the center of his chest again. Everything felt numb and it was spinning. His breathing was elevated and he knew that he was having a panic attack again. Heading over toward the steps at the back of the house, Joel took a seat down on top of it and closed his eyes tightly. He was trying to balance his mind and control his pacing thoughts. This was the last thing he wanted to be having right now. Hearing the sound of footsteps approaching, he assumed that it was Ellie coming to check on him and he sighed. “I just need a minute.”

“Everything okay?” Negan’s deep, raspy voice questioned when Joel heard the sounds of Negan moving in beside Joel to sit on the step with him. Joel took a moment to gather himself before he lifted his head and looked over at Negan. “You seem really upset.”

“Uhm, your daughter…” Joel felt his throat getting tense and his chest ached knowing that he needed to be honest with Negan. “I had a daughter before all of this happened. The day it started, I lost her. Her name was Sarah and when she was little, she looked so much like your Morgan. It just…knocked me off my feet a bit seeing Morgan.”

“Damn,” Negan swallowed down hard, his jaw flexing when he thought about what Joel was telling him. “Y/N mentioned you had a daughter before, but I never pushed to find out what happened.”

“I don’t talk about her a lot,” Joel felt his eyes tearing over and he tried to force himself to be more open with Negan since that was the whole point of today. “It just hurts so damn much to talk about her. This watch I wear…she gave it to me for my birthday. I got it about three hours before she died. I know people have noticed it’s broken, but I haven’t had it in me to take it off. I probably never will.”

“And you never should,” Negan responded looking to the watch that was on Joel’s wrist. Multiple times he had noticed it, but again that wasn’t his place to ask about it and he knew it likely had a special meaning. “I’m sorry that me bringing Morgan may have brought up some trauma for you. That was not my intentions.”

“Don’t apologize, please,” Joel waved his hand about knowing that he didn’t want to make Negan feel guilty for bringing his daughter with him somewhere. “So uh…what happened to her mother?”

“Oh, well…I guess you want us to both get sad, huh?” Negan half smirked making Joel’s face scrunch up in response when Negan braced his elbows on his knees and lowered down. “Her mother passed away giving birth to her.”

“Knowing that makes me feel so much worse that I assumed that Morgan was your significant other and not your daughter,” Joel cussed to himself seeing that Negan’s Adam’s apple was bouncing in this throat showing that he still got emotional himself talking about things. “What was her mother’s name?”

“Annie,” Negan answered with a grumble, tapping his feet against the stair they were on before letting out a long sigh.

“I’m sorry you lost Annie,” Joel stammered knowing that he wasn’t great at these conversations and it most likely showed.

“Well, I’m sorry you lost Sarah. I can’t imagine losing a child,” Negan frowned, reaching up to stroke his fingers at the back of his neck. “In a way, I can see why you are the way you are with things. They make sense.”

“I think you probably understand,” Joel reasoned with Negan thinking about how they had both lost someone. “It makes it hard for you to love again when you’ve lost so much. My first wife was a bomb of a relationship. She was Sarah’s mom. Then I lost Sarah and after that I lost a woman that I had been with for sixteen years. It just made me, cold to things,” Joel thought things out in his mind knowing that he could see from the corner of his eye that Negan was watching him closely, “have you tried getting with someone since Annie passed?”

“No, but I feel like I’m bad luck,” Negan responded, clearing his throat. “I lost my first wife to cancer. Well, she had cancer and then she ended up killing herself when I was trying to find the medicine that I thought would help save her because she knew that I couldn’t handle it. After that, I had a really shitty run of luck with my life. Found Annie and then I lost her after she gave birth to Morgan. So I don’t want to be the reason that someone else I care about dies.”

“Here I am asking you to help me with Y/N and you have the same exact problem that I do,” Joel pointed out making Negan crack a smile before shrugging his shoulders. “I would love to tell you that it’s not your fault that the women in your life passed away, but as someone who also blames themselves for all the traumatic deaths in their lives, I can’t tell you how to feel. The only thing I will say is hold onto that little girl with everything that you have. Protect her. Keep her safe. Above all else.”

“She’s the most important thing to me,” Negan admitted hearing all the emotion in Joel’s voice and suddenly Joel made so much more sense to Negan in the way that he acted. Joel reached up to wipe at his eyes with the back of his hand and it made Negan frown. “I know I’m extremely lucky to still have her with me. Morgan and I were just looking for a place to belong when Maria found us. I guarantee if Morgan wasn’t with me, Maria would have never brought me back here.”

“Well I’m glad the two of you found your home here,” Joel exhaled loudly trying to keep himself from having a total meltdown in front of Y/N’s best friend that already knew way too much about his personal life to begin with. Adjusting his positioning, Joel pulled out a wallet that he kept in his pocket and opened it. Searching through it, Joel pulled a photo out of it and gazed over it for a long moment letting out a shuddering breath. Holding it out to Negan, he could see Negan’s eyes gazing out over the faded photo. “That was Sarah.”

“She was beautiful,” Negan commented on the photo that was of Joel and Sarah together, a tiny smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “I can see what you mean with the hair. They do look similar. Morgan’s mother would have been so much better with taking care of her hair. I do my best, but sometimes the fact that I’m a guy really shines through. Maria has had to help me on a few occasions.”

“You learn,” Joel accepted the photo back when Negan handed it over. Taking his time to put the photo away, Joel leaned back against the step and sighed. “Maybe I just needed a friend who could understand the things I’ve been through because it doesn’t sound like you’ll be able to help me with my relationship with Y/N.”

“Well, that’s not true. Just because I’m afraid of starting a relationship doesn’t mean that I don’t know what to do for you. There is a difference between you and me. You’ve found someone in life that you want to spend forever with. That’s a step in the right direction,” Negan suggested with a heavy sigh, adjusting his positioning on the back steps so he could look out at Joel with his hazel eyes. “That’s the difference between you and me. You are in a relationship that I know you want to work. Me, I don’t deserve someone’s love. I’m lucky enough that I have Morgan.”

“How do you know that I deserve someone’s love?” Joel reached for an answer from Negan. “You have no idea the kind of man I was. You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“And I could say the same thing to you about me,” Negan retorted with a snort making Joel huff loudly. “All that matters is right now someone else’s happiness is reliant on you. Ellie and Y/N. For me, it’s Morgan. I have to do everything I can to make sure that Morgan’s life is good. As good as it can be. You want to make Y/N’s life better. Which is why you came to me about this and I’m willing to help.”

“Fair enough,” Joel knew that he still felt uncomfortable with this whole thing and Morgan had shaken him up even more. “So what are your thoughts about how I can be more social and work on my relationship with Y/N?”

“Well, for starters, you have to realize that you’re a good-looking guy. Already, people are going to be drawn to you because of that,” Negan waved his hand about in the air making Joel pause, his jaw clenching when he looked to Negan. “It’s just your approach at how you respond to people when they want to meet you or talk to you. Usually you have that angry, solid stare that makes people not want to approach you.”

“You think I’m good looking?” Joel repeated what Negan had said seeing Negan smirk and nod his head. That was the one thing that stood out to Joel out of all the things that Negan had said to him. “Are you…I’m not trying to be rude, but are you…”

“Gay?” Negan stammered seeing Joel think about what he had said before smirking. “Why? Would it bother you if I was?”

“Oh no, of course not. That doesn’t bother me at all,” Joel threw his hands up trying to backtrack on the question knowing that it may have been offensive if Negan was. “I was just curious, I guess. I never understood why people would be so up in arms about who someone loves or is attracted to.”

“Good,” Negan eyed Joel over for a long moment before shaking his head. “I don’t like to put labels on things. I like men. I like women. I can find something attractive in just about anyone. I have been married to women in the past, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have an interest in men.”

“That’s nice,” Joel shifted in his seat beside Negan and he thought for a long moment about what Negan said. “And you think I’m attractive?”

“Does that bother you? I’m not going to try to jump you if you think that’s what I’m doing. I just can admit when someone is good looking,” Negan explained to Joel doing his best to say it in a way that wouldn’t scare Joel away.

“No, I’m not bothered, I’m flattered really,” Joel shrugged his shoulders and gazed over Negan for a moment. “You’re a good-looking guy yourself so to hear that you think I’m good looking? It’s flattering.”

“Wait,” Negan snickered, his head shaking when he thought about what Joel had just said in response. “Does that mean you’re…?”

“No. No. I mean, I don’t think so, no,” Joel stuttered over his words feeling his face get hot. “I’m not good with this social interacting thing. I just know that the people here find you very attractive and, in my opinion, you are a conventionally attractive person so it just says that…”

“I get it, we both think the other is a good-looking person. You don’t have to freak the fuck out,” Negan assured Joel with a raspy laugh, reaching out to pat Joel on the shoulder before changing the subject. “Let’s get back on subject. With the people in the town, try relaxing the muscles in your face when you’re out and about. Maybe try smiling or grinning sometimes. Like right now, try to smile for me.”

“Really?” Joel scoffed making Negan nod and Joel rolled his eyes. Giving a half-smirk Negan chuckled and shook his head slowly. “What?”

“We’ll work it on it. Y/N says that you like to do woodwork and that you’re good with a guitar. Have you thought about teaching people in the town how to play?” Negan dug further into Joel’s personal life making Joel bob his head from side to side. “That a no?”

“I have done it with a few kids, but not many,” Joel answered knowing that Y/N had suggested having him do that too. “I make guitars for people more than I teach them. I guess I could try opening up to people with my music abilities.”

“Can you sing for me?” Negan seemed interested, but Joel immediately gave Negan a death glare and he burst out laughing. “Okay, so we’re not that comfortable with one another yet. I get the hint.”

Joel muttered something to himself when Negan dropped his head down and sighed, “With Y/N, her birthday is coming up rather fast. Do you have something special planned for her? That’s a big day where you can really go all out for her.”

“I don’t know,” Joel was honest, “I have some ideas, but I don’t know if it will make her happy.”

“Well if you have ideas, that’s the first step,” Negan rubbed his hands together and looked toward the garage where the kids were. “With Y/N it’s really about making her feel seen Joel. For a long time she felt like you were just comfortable with her. That you only wanted to be with her because there was no one else.”

“And that’s not true,” Joel declared with a rumble making Negan nod. “I just, you know now why I am the way I am.”

“I do, but if you want to make her happy, then you need to start stepping out of your comfort zone. It took a real man to admit that you were having problems and confessing to needing help,” Negan complimented Joel who sighed loudly, showing that he was still embarrassed with things. “Don’t feel bad about it. We all need help sometimes. Just don’t be afraid to touch people. And I don’t mean it in a weird creepy way. I just mean like…especially with Y/N, hold her hand. People love that shit. They like to feel like they aren’t alone. Compliment her. Look her directly in the eyes when she is talking to you so she knows that your attention is completely on her.”

Forcing himself to look at Negan, Joel knew he had a lot of issues with that one. Negan gave him a nod, clapping his hands when Joel did as he asked, “There you go buddy. Now with her, don’t be afraid to kiss her. Tell her how you feel about her. Hug her, kiss her. The things you would do normally in a relationship. I know you’re uneasy, but the more you do it the more comfortable you are going to be. Like me, I smile all the damn time, but for so long…the last thing I wanted to do was smile. Sometimes you just have to push yourself in order to make yourself know it’s okay to do this. You have to fight the urge to pull yourself away from everyone. It won’t be easy, but you have to make an effort to push yourself even when you’re uncomfortable. If someone or something is important enough, you have to want to make that change.”

“Hey old guys,” Ellie called out from the garage making both Negan and Joel lift their heads up. “Are we going to do this game together or not?”

“Can you go in there with Morgan?” Negan made sure that Joel would be okay. With a nod, Joel watched Negan stand up and hold his hand out to help Joel stand. Accepting Negan’s hand, Joel stood to his feet. Staring out at Negan, Joel let out an extended exhale before reaching out to pat Negan on the shoulder trying to listen to what Negan was telling him. “You still look like you think I’m going to give you some kind of germs by touching me, but that was good.”

Joel rolled his eyes and it made Negan laugh, “Come on buddy. You can work on things in there with me and the kids. Ellie and Morgan won’t judge you, I promise.”

“Sure,” Joel swallowed down hard and followed Negan to Ellie’s home area hoping that he would be able to listen to what Negan was suggesting in order to make things right with Y/N. At this point he just wanted her happy and that’s what he was looking to do. Make her happy.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams  @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds​ @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty​ @emoryhemsworth​ @a-girl-interupted​ @akumune​ @stoneyggirl2​ @xsarcasticwriterx​  @insertneganhere​ @haleygreen23​ @xhannahbananax03​ @sanctuaryforthelost​ @burningredaffair​ @killaweiser​ @dead-of-niight​  @ayumi-wolf​ @hollyismentallyillhelp​ @nt-multi-fandom​ @tone-stark​ @chloepricerk800​ @thesapphirequeen​  @wonwoosthetic​

[ichijager13]

Without you

Pairing : Odasaku x reader

Rate : general audience

A futur time line where Dazai is the port mafia boss, Six years time skip since the dark era arc, both me, Dazai and reader need a hug, domestic fluff, grief, trying to start all over again.

Summary:  After three years, Reader meets Dazai, her lover's friend at the cemetery.

Word count: 5K

A/N: What can I say other then that this one broke my heart to pieces... Enjoy reading.

This is a rewrite of something I bulished months ago on AO3 (I made it angstier...)

Also, I would like to thank each one of you for the support you are giving me ❤️

A sleepy smile spread across your lips when you felt him pressing tender kisses along your bare shoulders. You tilted your head to give him more access to the thin skin of your neck. A quiet whimper dropped from you as he grazed your warm skin with his sharp teeth.

You rolled to your side and brushed your lips against his. "Good morning". you whispered combing your fingers with soft and short red locks.

"Good morning, my love". he breathed against your lips. his arms brought you closer while his lips moved oh so gently against yours.

Early mornings, sleepy cuddles, soft and long kisses, books scattered in every corner of your apartment, the appealing smell of curry, warm smiles, soft red locks underneath your fingers, giggles of the kids, tight hugs, and endless happiness. Things you had to live without since that day. things that disappeared from your life with him.

You slipped your shoes on and checked once again for your phone and wallet before you closed the door behind you.

"I love this city". You hummed feeling your lover's warm embrace. "I can't see myself living somewhere else like I can't imagine myself being with someone else but you". Your head rested on his shoulder while your grip around his body tightened. Soft lips pressed to your temple; you close your eyes before you follow. "Promise me you'll never leave and that we'll grow old together under the sky of this town".

The sound of the kids echoed in your ears while you remained there, standing on your balcony watching the sun slowly set, pressed against each other.

After almost three years you moved back to Yokohama, his hometown, the only place where you belong. After three long years, you are finally able to breathe the same air he once breathed. You finally went back to your apartment.

You frowned when you checked the caller's ID, you left the teacher's room to take it.

"You need to come as soon as possible". Dazai's desperate voice spoke as soon as you picked up. "He has been severely injured; I'll send someone to get you". Your heart pounded violently against your ribcage. Without a word, you hung up went back inside grabbed your stuff, and left. You remained silent during the whole ride.

It was another Saturday morning; the kids were at your mother's place. On your way to the cemetery; you stopped to get a bouquet of fresh daisies.

Ever since that fatidic day six years ago, you never missed your weekly date with your lover. You would sit there with your back leaning against his tombstone and babble about stuff. Your lectures, current read, what's on your mind, and recently about the kids.

You stepped out of the car before it fully stopped and ran inside the building. It was a little bit dark but you could make out the contours of Dazai's frail figure hugging a body. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized whose body it was.

"My love". you clutched your hands to your mouth falling to your knees next to him. with gleaming eyes, you watched his hand falling off Dazai's face. With the last bits of strength, he had, he managed to take off the bandages covering the teenage port mafia executor's face.

You kneeled in front of the gravestone and pressed your lips to the letters forming his name. "Good morning, my beloved". You greeted before sitting down.

"Daisies?" you frowned watching the man you love making a flower crown. Your question was met with a quiet hum as a response. "Why though?"

"'Cause, it reminds me of you". He answered placing the now finished crown on top of your head. "They're cheerful and seeing them makes me feel at peace". His hand ran across your face before it rested against your jawline cupping it softly. "So delicate yet standing tall and with grace". Your eyelids fluttered shut as you absorbed his words. "With a pure heart radiating kindness like the sun radiating its light". A shy smile made its way across your lips. "So beautiful and gentle". He inched closer before capturing your lips.

"Sorry, I'm late". You rested your head on the cold gray marble. "I didn't find fresh daisies at the shop in our neighborhood, so I had to go elsewhere".

"And what kind of writer do you want to be?" Your eyebrows shot up in amusement. You took your time studying the handsome man sitting across from you. tall, tanned skin, vacant blue eyes, and unshaved shin.

With his eyes still fixed on his eventually cold cup of coffee, he answered. "The one that offers life". You chewed on your cheek to prevent the smile threatening to blossom.

That was the moment you fell hopelessly and helplessly in love with him.

Your eyes gazed at the clear blue sky. "Spring break is about to end," you breathed. "This year I will have freshmen and juniors. I can't wait to meet them". Your voice was soft yet filled with excitement. "I have already prepared a list of the books that I want to make them discover".

"Junichi, my dear, say hi to Asami". You squeezed his shoulder encouraging your five-year-old kid. "She's going to live with us, she will be your little sister".

A pair of dark, big eyes stared at you before they drifted to the young girl. "My sister?" He whispered. "I can play with her?" His eyes gleamed with excitement and brought you joy.

"Of course, my dear". you nodded.

"Things are fine, the kids are growing up fast. Junichi is obsessed with his new sister. They grew attached to each other during the past two months. Asami is a sweetheart; you would've gotten along so well and make me feel jealous". You let out a short laugh. "She loves reading too, she refuses to go to sleep unless I read her a story. And sometimes, Junichi volunteers to read for her. It's fascinating how fast he learns. He is getting better at reading and writing". Your smile grew wider when you remembered your children. "Oh, and he wants to learn to play chess, I bought him one yesterday. You should've seen the look in his eyes when he unwrapped it. He'll be turning 6 next month".

"I'm home". His deep monotone voice reached you from the house entrance before he stepped into the kitchen. "Curry?"

"Flavorful and spicy exactly how my man prefers it". you chanted before your lips met.

"What a lucky man". He commented once the kiss ended. "The house is suspiciously calm". he susurrated face still an inch away from yours. "Where are they?"

"Their room, I asked them to do their math assignments". You wrapped your arms around his shoulders. "Let us enjoy this calm a little". You whispered against his lips. but what the kids didn't notice was the subtle nod and glance exposing their places to the man in your arms.

Before they could move, he jumped pulling Sakura from behind the door. "One down". Followed by Yu and Katsumi who were hiding under the dining table. "Three".

"It's not fear! You cheated". Shinji rumbled when you glanced at the balcony where he was hiding. "You weren't supposed to help him!" He glared at you.

Your eyes narrowed. "I did exactly what you asked me to do". You pleaded. "I was trying to distract him so that you can take him down". You were doing your best to stifle your laughter.

Meanwhile, Kosuke was debating to break free from the redhead's grip. "And the last one is down". He spoke before setting the kid next to the others. "Giving up?" He inquired. He glanced at you and you joined them on the floor. "Seems like your ally surrendered".

He glanced at each one of you before he shrugged. "I guess I have to use some mafia-style torture". And he squeezed Yu's cheeks before pulling them gently. "So?" He glanced at the others before he kneeled in front of you. "Your ally is next". He wiggled his fingers. "She can't resist this one, are you willing to sacrifice her?"

"Don't!" you squeaked when his fingers touched your sides. "Kosuke, Katsumi please help". You cried when he closed his mouth around your nape. "No, not-not in front of the kids".

You took a deep, shaky breath. "I wish they had the chance to know you. I'm pretty sure they would've loved you".

"Can I remove it now?" you asked when the door clicked open. Seconds later, the darkness started vanishing as he uncovered your eyes. You blinked chasing away the blurry veil that coated your eyes before taking in the lovely sight offered to you. The spacious room was managed into a children's bedroom. "This is so beautiful". You gasped. "You did this?" You asked and he bobbed his head.

"The house is still exactly like you left it; the kids love it. I finally fixed the blue closet, the one you painted clouds and a sun on for the kids. I asked the school's art teacher to reproduce the same drawing and she did an excellent job".

"Look she's here". Dazai mourned. "Open your eyes Odasaku, you can't leave, not yet". He cried.

"My love". his voice was husky and barely audible. "I'm sorry, I won't be able to keep my promises". Tears flooded as you shook your head. "I can't write it…". he winced when he felt one of your tears rolling down his face. "I can no longer write a story". You pressed his head to your chest as silent tears continued streaming down your flushed cheeks. "I wish I could grow old with you and watch our kids live a happy and peaceful life. I'm… I'm sorry".

"Sakunosuke". Your voice broke when you called his name. through half-lidded eyes, the once cold and empty blue eyes stared at you with love. "You still can write one". You managed to gulp. "Up there, just make sure to save a copy for me, my beloved". He reached a shaking hand to brush away your tears.

"I'm sorry". He mumbled. "I…". he took a deep breath. "I fell in love with you the moment you smiled at me. It wasn't until I saw your smile that I understood the importance of life. Please, I want to see your beautiful smile. One last time". A relieved sigh left his pained chest when your lips quired up. "I love you".

"I love you too and I'll always will". You breathed before pressing your lips to his. When you pulled back, he was already gone, a soft smile adorning his pale face. You buried your face in his chest breathing in the familiar comforting smell. A wounded cry left your heaving chest as you mourned the love of your life.

You didn't notice Dazai's absence until he patted your shoulder. "Let's go". He spoke looking down. You covered his body with your scarf and followed the young port mafia member after you glanced one last time at the corpse of the man you love.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. "I miss you, Sakunosuke". A single tear rolled down your cheek. "I hope you and the kids are happier up there and that you finally got to write a story. Please, save a copy for me, darling. Tell the kids I love them and that I always pray for them, I pray for all of you. Please, watch over us and give me the strength I need to raise them well". You buried your face in your hands sobbing quietly. Images from your dates, late-night conversations, picnics with the kids, and early-morning cuddles flashed in front of you.

You were laying on your back in the middle of the empty room with your lover’s head resting on your bare stomach.

You couldn’t hide your surprise when you found him waiting for you near the high school where you teach at the end of the day.

“Hi darling”. He greeted before printing a kiss on your forehead. “I have a surprise for you, come with me”.

After a twenty minutes’ walk you found yourself standing in front of an apartment complex. Puzzled, you glanced at him waiting for an explanation. He opened the door and turned to you. “Welcome home, my love”. your mouth dropped.

After visiting every room and talking about how you want to decorate each corner of the house, you made love in the middle of what’s going to be your bedroom. Your digits were buried in his hair, scratching his skull gently.

Feeling your body shivering underneath his body, he moved, resting your head on top of his chest and covering your body with a blanket. His heartbeats and the warmth radiating from his body lulled you to sleep.

Not a day passed without you wandering through those memories. Even though he’s no longer a part of this world, it almost felt like he never left. He was everywhere you looked, smiling at you and guiding your steps leading you out of the darkness surrounding you. but almosts are never enough. It wasn't enough to ease your pain. That alone couldn't fill the void he left behind him and that consumed you slowly. before you adopted Junichi and Asami your life was a living hell, a hell you dragged your previous companion into.

It was a Saturday morning; the kids were still asleep. You were enjoying the calm while sipping coffee and reading your book. You were so immersed in the story you didn’t notice his presence until he pecked your temple.

You looked up offering him your brightest smile. Your lips met once he set his cup of coffee and took a place next to you. the kiss was sweet and short and was followed by another one longer. He slipped a hand to grip your hip as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. One of your hands was pressed against his toned torso while the other was wrapped around his shoulder. You continued exchanging kisses pulling away only when you felt dizzy due to the lack of oxygen. Before you knew it, you were sitting on his lap, soft kisses growing sloppier and messier.

Tears finally dry, you felt a cold hand tapping your shoulder. "So, it's been you all along".

"Dazai". You breathed recognizing your lover's friend's voice. Your eyes were met with a thin smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Here, I'm sure he hates seeing his sweetheart crying". He handed you a tissue. "So, the rumors were true. you did move back to Yokohama".

"Yes, I came back home a year ago". You whipped your tears before offering him a place to sit beside you.

He leaned against the gravestone as his eyes wandered around before focusing on you. "And how are you doing?" He inquired.

"I'm doing well. I have two kids, a six years old boy named Junichi. We have been living together for a year now. And a two years old girl, Asami, who joined our family two months prior. Just like him, they both love reading". You beamed caressing his name.

"Ah, you adopted them". A faint smile tugged up his mouth when you nodded. "Wouldn't expect less from Odasaku's girl".

"No, no, no, please stay with me. please, don't leave like your father. Please, I beg of you, stay". You fell to the floor sobbing hysterically as the crimson pool underneath you grew bigger.

"Yes, I lost the baby months after Saku's death". A veil of sadness draped your eyes when you remembered that particular may night. "I believe he chose to join his father". Not knowing how to respond he rubbed your back up and down.

"And where are you staying with the kids?" He asked once you regained composure.

"Our house". You replied smiling.

"You… you kept it?"

"Of course, I did. You think we would've still lived in there if he was still among us?"

"I highly doubt it since you would've had about 10 kids, plus me". He said laughing, you joined him.

"How about you Dazai? How are you doing?"

"Quite busy since I became the port mafia boss". Noticing the surprised look, he changed the subject. "Can I offer you a coffee?"

"How about you come home and have lunch with us". You cooed, hesitating as he rubbed the back of his head. "The kids will be home by noon. I'm pretty sure they would be happy to meet you". you added in order to convince him. "Please, Dazai it's been a long time since I cooked for you".

"No spicy food". He rose his hand.

“Why do you always have to add so much spices”. The dark-haired boy whined. “that’s the only thing I can taste”.

“I’m sorry, Sakunosuke didn’t tell me you were coming. Here, this will help”. You handed him a glass of milk. “I’ll make you something not spicy, just a second”. You held your finger before going through the fridge.

"No spicy food". You promised. You pressed your lips to his name before murmuring. "See you next week, my love".

During the drive home, Dazai told you about how he left the armed detective agency and became the port mafia's boss.

Entering the apartment, a couple of souvenirs crossed Dazai's mind. "It still feels the same". He mumbled before he followed you inside.

"The kids will be thrilled when they see you. they feel a bit lonely since we don't receive many visitors". You spoke while putting on your apron. "How about some miso soup, rice balls, and grilled salmon?" You inquired.

"As long as it's not too spicy".

"I don't cook spicy food anymore". You mumbled, noticing Dazai's pale expression you added in a more cheerful tone. "Want some sake?"

"Yes, please". He smiled sheepishly. "Would it be rude if I ask you what happened with your boyfriend?" he inquired a while later.

"Oh, Yushimasa". You let out looking down, you felt your cheeks' temperature rising as you busied yourself with dicing the vegetables. "He said he has no chance of beating a dead man and that he is tired of trying".

"He knew". Dazai gasped, eyebrows quirked.

You nodded. "I never knew about it but he once followed me to the cemetery". You started cutting the fish. "He kept everything to himself until that day. I was making launch when he came into the kitchen looking as if he was leading a rough battle. It was a Saturday noon, and as usual, I visited Sakunosuke. So, he came in and said that our story reminds him of a western song and then told me everything". You glanced at the dark-haired man sitting on the other side of the countertop.

A worn-out sigh left your lips, this looks nothing like the curry you used to make. You were stirring the content of the pot when you heard your partner clear his throat.

"It will be ready soon, could you please set the table?" you asked.

"There's a song I want you to listen to. It, pretty much sums up our story". Confused you asked him to play it before started making a salad.

I am everything you want

I am everything you need

I am everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

I say all the right things

At exactly the right time

But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

The lyrics echoed in the kitchen. Startled you throw looks his way; he was sitting by the dining table smoking calmly, only his shaking hands betrayed how nervous he was. "There's no use in hiding it anymore, I know about him". he spoke when the melody finally faded. "I understand why you always sound off and you never look me in the eyes when we make love. I know where your mind wanders when we are together. I realize why you never told me you love me”. he paused, eyes looking anywhere but at you. “for a long time, I mistook whatever you felt toward me for love. I somehow convinced myself that it's your shy nature that is keeping you from verbalizing your feeling and being more demonstrative". He took a long drag before he continued. "I didn't want to rush you or make you feel uncomfortable around me. so, I sat and waited patiently for you to overcome whatever was keeping you from loving me properly". He ran a hand across his face before taking another drag. "But then a friend told me that maybe you were having an affair. I laughed at him at first and said he is being ridiculous. But there was this Saturday morning thing. You always go out around the same time without saying where you are heading. And you never asked me to accompany you". you ceased moving and stood still listening to him. "I'm sorry but I couldn't take it anymore so I followed you". a bitter laugh left his chest. "I know I shouldn't do such a thing but… There were lots of questions and they were eating me alive. I had to know, I had to". His eyes trailed on your frozen figure before he dragged them away. "I had to know what was keeping us -what's keeping you- from being happy". He squeezed his eyes shut breathing in the nicotine before he resumed. "And there you were sitting next to his grave crying with your head resting against the tombstone".

"You never stopped loving him, didn't you?" Dazai's voice brought you back to the present time.

"I think you are best fitted to know that Sakunosuke is the kind of person who marks your heart and soul forever".

He took one last drag before crashing his cigarette. "I was a fool for believing that if I showed you how much I love and care for you, you might end up forgetting him. I never had a chance, since the very start". He looked up at you, a pained smile on his face. "I was being selfish. Forcing you to keep on doing this, expecting things from you when I knew your heart belongs to someone else. I can't do this any longer. I can't ignore his presence anymore. I can't pretend I don't see it in your eyes". Another dry chuckle left his quivering lips. "You never stopped loving him, not once. And I know I can't compete with him. I can never win your heart. I have already packed my stuff. I'll leave after launch. I would love to share one last meal with you if it doesn't bother you".

"Of course, I still love him and will always do. How can I forget what is inked in my soul? It has always been him and it always will be".

"What happened next?"

"Well, he said he is tired of pretending to be oblivious and not understanding that my heart belongs to someone else. He said that when he saw me crying and talking to the gravestone, he put two and two together and understood everything". You closed your eyes letting your souvenirs submerge you.

"There's no need to". These were the first words that came out of you. and for a split second, relief washed over him before he heard your next words. "I have a place to go to. A home back at Yokohama". The way his face twitched in pain crushed your soul. you could've sworn you heard his heart crack when those words dropped from you and you hated yourself for putting him through this.

"He kindly offered to move out and leave me the house. But I refused, I told him I already have a place I call home and that I'm going back there. I believe he made the right choice and I’m thankful to him". You smiled at the tall brunette. "I was finally able to breathe again and to continue to cherish my beloved's memory without feeling guilty. For the first time in years, I felt free. I was finally able to stop pretending and stop faking smiles. During three years, I had to pretend that I was happy, that that was the life I wanted to live, and that seeing how miserable he was because of me wasn't killing me. You know I can still feel his presence around me. Saku never left me, he is still here looking after me and our children". Noticing Dazai's puzzled expression you explained. "I never removed my name from the family registry. And when I adopted the kids, I added them there. so, officially they are Junichi and Asami Oda".

"I'm sorry you had to deal with all of this". Dazai spoke. "But why you never asked for my help?" A soft smile break through your face. Dazai has always held a special place in your heart. "You can always come for me if you or one of the kids need anything. I would be more than happy to help Odasaku's family".

"I know Dazai, I know. But you were going through a lot and I didn't want to bother you".

"Ah, ah, aaaah easy with that". He squealed; his reaction brought you pleasant memories. You remembered his flushed face each time you invited him when Odasaku did the cooking. You would listen to him going about how he always gets on chuuya's nerves. Just like Odasaku, you always enjoy Dazai's storytelling. You have always wished you could do more to help him. for both you and Odasaku, Dazai is like a son.

"Don't worry these are not spicy". You reassured him. "The kids will be here anytime soon". You added when you glanced at the clock on the wall. Like they were listening, the sound of the doorbell resonated in the house. "Hi babies, we have a guest today. Junichi darling, go greet uncle Dazai after you wash your hands". You took Asami from your sister. "Do you want to come in? I made a cake this morning". you asked her.

"Sorry, I have to go grocery shopping. Maybe next time?" She pressed a loving kiss on the tip of your daughter's nose before she left. Going back inside you found Dazai and your son have already become friends.

"Meet Asami Oda". You spoke in a cheerful voice which caused Dazai to smile fondly. "Do you want to hold her? It will be alright, just follow my instructions". You tried to encourage him when his eyes narrowed in worry.

"Please Odasaku don't kill me if I drop her". He mumbled holding your baby. "At least, do it gently". His last words made you laugh so hard.

"Place a hand behind her back. Like that. See, I told you it's easy". When his eyes met your child's, she smiled and him before ruffling his soft locks. "Apparently, she loves you. make sure you don't break her heart". You taunted.

"I sure won't. no one wants to deal with an angry Odasaku". He joked.

He was bumping the young girl when you spoke. "Be nice to him baby girl, he's papa's dear friend". he felt his heart stop when you refer to Odasaku as the father of your kids. Looking at you, he realized that if anyone was suffering from his friend's absence more than him, that person must be you.

"Mama, can I show uncle Dazai my chess game?" Junichi asked tucking at your apron.

"Of course, darling. Do you know where it is?" He nodded visibly happy before running to get it. "Careful not to fall". You called for him. "You sure are popular among the Oda's". you commented. "Try to come more often, please. I'm sure that will make both of them happy, especially him. He needs a masculine presence and another person telling him stories about the father he didn't have the chance to know". Your eyes swam with tears. "You are always welcome here, Dazai".

"I would love to. I have plenty of stories to tell about Odasaku". He took a sip from his sake. "What about Ango? Have you seen him?"

"We are in touch. He paid me a visit when he heard I was back and helped register the kids under Saku's name. he took care of all the formalities and helped me find a job but he never met the kids. You are the only one from Sakunosuke's friends and acquaintances who did". You took Asami from him and put her in her play space. "There you go". You patted her head before taking a place by the countertop. You took a sip from the tea you made and stared at him for a while. "I'm glad you took off the bandages that were covering your face. You have a beautiful face don't hide it again".

"If it helps find a beautiful girl who is willing to commit double suicide with me, I won't". you stifled a laugh. "Do you intend to stay here?" you nodded. After a brief silence, he called your name. "I never told this to Odasaku… but you are the parents I always wished I had". His words brought you tears. you reached your hands and squeezed his.

You still remember the day Odasaku told you about the kind of life Dazai has and it broke your heart to pieces. With a flushed face and soaked with tears, you asked your lover many times to convince him to come live with you which he did, on many occasions but Dazai refused each time.

"I already consider you as their old brother, we always did -Saku and I- that's why I want them to get to know you. just no talking about the new technics you discover around them, okay?" you winked.

"I promise". He rose his hand. he waited until the kid was out of earshot. "I miss him too. I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I'm sorry I didn't stop him. if only I arrived minutes earlier".

"It's not your fault, I mean it. don't blame yourself for something you haven't done. I don't think he would appreciate you doing it, and I don't appreciate either. continue doing good things as he asked you, and continue helping make the world a better place". You gently caressed his hair putting on a brave smile. "And honor his memory".

After Dazai left in the afternoon, you addressed a silent prayer and asked for him to be relieved of the heavy burden he carries. you prayed that one day the sad boy covered with bandages finally finds happiness. the same kind of happiness you felt beside your lover. You kneeled and prayed for Odasaku and the kids' souls, you prayed for Junichi and Asami and you prayed for more strength and courage to keep on living in a world without the man you love.

[neonblessing]

10.

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT! ⚠️ Click here to read Neon Blessing from the beginning!

Club RED was a labor of love. A cyclopean eye of neon tubes stared down at the street from the facade of a beautiful temple to excess, bathing the darkening street in bloodred light which played through the mist kicked up by a nearby waterfall. The building was dark glass and darker stone, three stories tall and culminating in a domed roof. It wasn’t even 5 pm, but the line was pouring out the door and onto the sidewalk, foreign raincoats and umbrellas standing side by side with wet-haired Diluvian partygoers.

Shiv had never entered a nightclub through the front before. There’d been one club, the Magpie, that she’d frequented with her friends, but the owner was one of Ornarch’s devout and always let them skip the lines. Huh. She hadn’t been to the Magpie in years. She wasn’t even sure if it was still in business.

The line moved quickly, and before long, she was at the door. “Let’s see some ID.” There were two bouncers, identically dour and militaristic-looking men who loomed over her like a pair of sunglasses-clad statues, their suits custom-made to fit over the bulky structure of a mil-spec exocloak. Thin seams in the skin of their faces suggested the presence of subdermal armor plating to protect what the mechanized armor didn’t. One of them handled a scanner with the practiced care of a guy whose grip could crush a human skull.

Shiv showed them the card. “Kooler sent me.” The one with the scanner stared her down while the other barked a few quick words into a headset. If shit went south, the only viable exit was ducking the rope to the left, but Headset would make a grab for her and if those huge hands got a grip it was over. She’d need to distract him first, maybe blind him. Throw her coat in his face? She started to shrug it off her shoulder, just in case. Scanner continued to glower at her in a prolific display of disdain. He should be too far away to do anything, but just in case-

Headset spoke, snapping her out of her planning.

“Hm?” She’d missed what he’d actually said.

“Go on in. The boss is on the second floor.” Shiv pulled her coat back over her shoulder and brushed past the bouncers and into the club. She pushed her way past a heavy curtain of soundproof fabric and replaced the endless roar of the streets with the endless roar of Club RED’s speakers.

Water poured down gilded fountain walls and colored lights arced and scattered through thick smoke, produced by a mix of sweet-scented cigarettes and industrial fog machines. Waiters and waitresses wearing practically nothing served a very peculiar clientele: half of the patrons were exactly what she’d expected, the sort of wealthy-looking folks willing to spend fifteen credits on a can of beer; and the other half were all grizzled paramilitary types. The burning coal glow of their cybernetic eyes stared out at her through the fog, automatically seeking out her vital organs before flicking back to their drinks.

Shiv scaled the stairs to the second floor, taking a moment to look out on the dance floor from the balcony. The band’s frontwoman was more work of art than human, her limbs all formed from sweeping lines of carbon fiber and steel. Her guitar plugged into a port on the back of her neck, her quicksilver fingers dancing over the strings with surreal grace. She had a voice like an angel with a smoking habit.

“She’s quite something, ain’t she?” A woman’s voice came from behind Shiv. She turned to see Kurtz, for who else could it be? The owner of Club RED was maybe forty years old, a little shorter than Shiv, and built like a brick. Her head was clean-shaven, revealing dozens of tally mark tattoos, in sets of five, spreading from near her temple and across half of her head. Unlike everyone else, she was dressed simply and practically, in sturdy black pants and a tank top, and unlike everyone else, she had a gun at her hip, an antique revolver. Both of her eyes were red: one eye was flesh, with an iris that had either been dyed or transplanted. The other eye was metal, the iris glowing the exact same shade as the vast eye on the front of the building. She carried herself with an easy confidence, bordering on arrogance. “Are you the one Kooler mentioned?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m Joan Kurtz, owner of Club RED and REDEYE PMSC. What brings you to my door?”

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