#idk I guess it’s sad prompt time now

[wildstar25]

MiqoMarch Day 23 - Midnight

With their intended voyage into the void only a few days out, Arsay thought it the upmost importance that she steal her partner away to Kugane, that they might share one more fond memory together should things not turn out the way they plan in the thirteenth. It was as they crossed the very same bridge the miqo'te had once sat on together two years prior when Arsay gifted Y'shtola with a bracelet matching that of her own. A token of endearment which, Arsay confessed, she would have given to her fellow scion back then, had nerves not gotten the best of her. While their relationship has undoubtedly changed since the initial purchase of the jewellery, the sentiment remained the same. Y'shtola was someone who Arsay loved dearly and she will forever be grateful to have the seeker's life intertwined with her own. No matter where their free spirits took them, they would always hold each other in their hearts. A promise Y'shtola was more than willing to keep. She slipped the the string of beads around her wrist without a second thought. They were never to come off, not even when the two decided to delay their return to Radz-at-Han in favour of a private bath at the dead of night.

[rainingincale]

...

[paigemathews]

I have two followers request the same thing, one for my follower celebration last year and one for my birthday this year, and I am working on it but uhm. Idk if you were really wanting this much tears in it, bc uhhh I can’t stop crying. 

Tbh, you probably wanted no tears. I personally did not start this out with an intention for tears.

Unfortunately, there will be tears! Many, many tears. I am still barely even to the main point of this fic, it is about 3k, and literally every part of it has me sobbing.

[ariseur]

“are you wearing flavored chapstick?” with yuuji

✧˖° idk if i like this one, giving ooc vibes because i got major gojo energy from this idea.. i hope it’s still okay ☹️

“is that,” yuuji smacked his lips together as his eyes darted around his peripheral to try and decipher the foreign flavor. “.. flavored chapstick?”

“mhm!” you hummed, smiling as you watched his tongue dart out to further find the flavor. he thought for a moment before he looked back at you with a sheepish look. “strawberry?”

“yes—! i wanted to do a trend i saw online.”

he had cocked his head, “what’s the trend?”

so here you are; an assorted array of flavored chapstick tubes next to you as the salmon-haired boy covers his eyes, awaiting the next fruity flavor that’ll settle on his lips once yours meet his. then cues the five minutes afterward of him trying to guess, when really, he’s just trying to make you laugh.

(“uhm, grape?” he’d ask, full knowing that it was orange. to which you’d giggle, “yuuji, no—!” and correct him, leaving him with a triumphant smile as you showed him the tube, where he’d feign an oblivious, “ohhh!”)

you hum for a second before going for the mint one, eyes flitting to your boyfriend to ensure that he’s not cheating. his lips quirk into a grin as he hears you pop open the cap and twist the bottom to let the light green, almost transparent balm of the product peek out.

“okay, turn around,” you chime, and yuuji can already hear the smile in your voice.

once he turns around to face you, he spends no time before smushing your cheeks and pressing an exaggerated kiss to your lips, huffing in amusement through his nose as your delayed reaction.

you only break the kiss to laugh, allowing your hand to rest on the nape of his neck as he smiles at the sound of your giggles. a heavenly sound, yuuji could die happy knowing he had made you laugh.

“so eager, aren’t we?”

“‘s not my fault i have an awesome girlfriend,” he grins boyishly. he gets an eye roll and a forehead flick at the comment.

“you’re supposed to guess, yuuji!”

his lips part into a small ‘o’ shape as he taps his chin. you can tell he’s really thinking about it, maybe because he put in too much effort in that one kiss that he didn’t take the time to actually savor the flavor.

that’s it, he thought.

“i dunno,” he hums. “i think i might need another taste.” he drags the ‘a’ out mindlessly, watching as your brows quirk up at the idea. now you’re holding a hand to your chin, crossing your arm under the other to hold it up as you think.

“one more only, okay?”

he nods, placing his hands and fixing his posture eagerly. you chuckle as you lean in once more, memorizing yuuji’s big brown eyes — the way they flit around your face before fluttering closed. memorizing the way his lips manage to slot so perfectly into yours despite only being taught a few months ago. you had commit all of his habits to memory absentmindedly, oblivious to the fact that he always did the same.

he hums before you break away, evoking a soft pout from him as you quirk a brow as a silent question. “oh—!” he mutters before growing silent. he looks at the ground, then back at you, and repeats the same motions until finally,

“i think i need another one.”

“yuuji!”

𐙚 dottie’s 500 event - 🍡 ( dialogue ) prompts!!

𐙚 taglist ; @sad-darksoul @kasumitenbaz @2ukika

𐙚 non-500 requests are closed — august twenty-first, 2024

[solaris-amethyst]

💫Ice Cream?💫

✨Pairing: non idol!Hongjoong x gn!reader ✨Prompt: The two of you get stuck in the elevator together ✨Word Count: 1.1k ✨Genre: fluff, you're partners, stuck in an elevator ☀️Authors Note: I'm trying to become better at writing people flirting and being cute together and idk if I managed or not😅 What is your thoughts on this oneshot?💓

"Well shit..." Hongjoong uttered staring at the little screen that now was stuck between the number 4 and 5.

"Yeah you could say that again... Did the elevator seriously break right now?" You muttered irritatedly.

The two of you had been out shopping for a nice evening inside watching a new tv series you had started together and eat delicious food.

Hongjoong squeezed your hand, trying to calm down his own nerves at the thought of being stuck in an elevator. You made the call to press the emergency button and let it ring until someone down at the reception finally answered.

"Hello? What seems to be the problem?" The man down at the reception asked.

"Me and Hongjoong are stuck in the elevator, we're between floor 4 and 5. Do you think you could call someone to come fix this and get us out of here?" You questioned and you could hear the person picking up another phone and making the call to the janitors office. After a while the receptionist came back to you and Hongjoong.

"I've spoken to the janitors and they will be here in about 20 to 25 minutes. They're at another complex right now fixing a leak. They're almost done and will get here as soon as they can. Try not to panic and just stay calm until then okay?"

With that the call ended and your boyfriend let out a loud groan when he realized how long the two of you had to wait for the janitors to come.

"It's gonna be fine Joongie, it's not that long I promise! Then we will be back in our apartment, in our cozy sofa with our food and snacks and tv serie." You tried cheering him up by bringing his hand up to your lips giving it a small kiss.

"I know but now my surprise for you is ruined." He whines complaining looking like a kicked puppy with his big sad eyes and pouty mouth.

"Surprise?" You questioned raising an eyebrow at him

"Yeah I had gotten a surprise for you." He sighs and instructs you to close your eyes stating that he cannot allow it to be ruined.

Hongjoong rummaged around until he found the two ice creams he had bought without your knowledge earlier. The two of you had seen them earlier last week and both had wanted to try them someday and he had hoped that today would be the perfect day to end it with eating some ice cream.

He opened your ice cream first and made sure you had a steady grip on it before opening his own.

"You can open your eyes now love." He said and his smile grew as you opened them and saw the ice cream of your choice.

"You got us ice creams!! Hongjoong!!" You couldn't believe he managed to buy them without you noticing it. You were beaming at him, elated he had bought just the flavor you had wanted to try after skimming through all of the flavors the first time you saw all of the ice creams.

"I wanted it to be a surprise for after dinner but I guess it will be a before dinner surprise." He said as he bumped his own ice cream against yours.

"Cheers!"

"Cheers!" You chuckle mirroring his action before taking a small bite out of the ice cream.

"Oh wow this is really good!" You say with wide eyes and your boyfriend just shrugs

"I think I can do better." He admits before holding his ice cream towards you with a motion asking if you wanted to try his which you do, leaning forward to take a little bite, humming in appreciation.

"Yours were great as well! And what you think you can make better ice cream than this?" You question as he tries yours, humming in delight as well.

"Well yeah, it can't be that hard to make good ice cream. Just tell me which flavors you want and I'll make it for you." He says with that slight cocky smirk on his face.

"Is this some sort of challenge towards me or do you just want my attention?" You question wondering if this was his way of saying he wants to spend more time with you doing silly stuff.

"Maybe."

"Okay then how about you make me a good blueberry ice cream and also another one which has the flavor of a mango?" You tell him.

Hongjoong nods as he finishes his ice cream, putting the stick in the bag for now. He takes some step forward so he's close. You look at him as you finish your own ice cream, no matter how many times you see him his beauty never fails to stun you.

Especially his eyes, they're always so kind and filled with so much love each time he looks at you that it almost takes your breath away.

"May I kiss you?" He asks shyly.

You nod towards him, that's another part of him that you absolutely love. He always asks if it's okay for him to kiss you before he does.

He leans in capturing your lips in a heated kiss pushing you back towards the wall of the elevator. Your arms sneak around his shoulders as the two of you enjoy the silence and the intimacy of said kiss.

After a while the two of you ended the kiss, Hongjoong resting his forehead against yours, his eyes looking at you with so much love.

"You're so beautiful you know that right? The love of my life, my inspiration, my muse." He whispered lovingly causing you to break eye contact with him for a second.

"You really have your way with words Joongie. I really adore you so much, I wish I could show that more."

"You already do my love, you showcase your love when you bake me cookies when I'm overwhelmed, you show that when you read me stories when I need to unwind after a long day at the studio, you show that when you open your arms and let me sink into your warm embrace and allowing me to be vulnerable when I need without making me feel small. You make me feel loved." He whispered quietly to you.

"You really mean that?"

"I do, every single word."

The two of you ended up sitting down cuddling together on the elevator, sharing short but blissful kisses whilst sharing sweet and loving comments towards each other. Hongjoong continued to shower you with love and you did your best to reciprocate his wonderful comments, wanting him to truly understand how much he means to you.

Eventually the two of you could hear the janitors outside working on opening the doors to get the two of you out.

"It is finally time for us to get out of this entrapment and have our cozy evening my muse." Joong said as he helped you up from your sitting position.

"Finally, I cannot wait to cuddle you whilst watching our series together."

You gave him a quick kiss before the doors opened for the two of you to get out.

[goldenhypen]

❣︎ ⎯⎯ would you still love me even as a worm?

PAIRING ! yang jungwon x reader // GENRE ! fluff, crack // WC. ! 0.6k

PROMPT(S) ! 3. laying their hand on the other’s leg ;; 11. calling them nicknames ;; 22. placing a hand on the back of the other’s neck // requested by a lovely anon and @miraculouspabu <3 // 2k followers event

A/N. ! this drabble was inspired by the tiktok trend referred to in the title ,,, and ,, ahaha idk if i did it justice tbh. feedback is always appreciated tho :> hope you enjoy !!

“would you still love me if i turned into a worm?”

at your very random question, jungwon turned to you, giving you a funny look as he furrowed his brows.

“baby,” he started, taking his hand and placing it on your leg, caressing his thumb softly over your lower thigh. “what kind of question—“

“i know it might sound weird, but just answer the question,” you said, trying to sound serious as you tried to hold back a smile.

“no, i don’t like that question,” he shook his head.

“please, wonie, just answer the question,” you gave your best attempt at convincing him through probably what were some the worst puppy eyes you could ever make.

“that’s a dumb question.”

“it is not!” you exclaimed, playfully defensive. “now, would you still love me if i tur—“

but before you could finish the question you had made so many attempts in asking, you were cut off with your boyfriend’s lips on your own. you couldn’t help but close your eyes, melting into the kiss, and bringing your hands around his neck pulling him closer.

however, in no time, you were snapped back to reality before pulling away.

“hey!” you started. “that was a dirty move, yang jungwon—trying to shut me up by kissing me. rude!”

laughs only escaped his lips, but you tried your best to remain strong and serious, furrowing your brows at him, “it’s not funny.”

“sorry,” he started, “but it’s really funny.”

you pouted, looking at him as angrily as you could make out without bursting into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

“aw,” jungwon began again, feigning sadness, “is my little wormie sad?”

“no, but imagine,” you started, suddenly back to as excited about the idea as when you first brought up the question, “what if we were both two little worms, right?”

he looked at you, very skeptical before he nodded slightly for you to continue.

“we’d be—love worms,” you finished, followed by a fit of giggles.

“y/n,” your boyfriend groaned. “seriously? that was so bad.”

you acted offended at his statement as your jaw dropped dramatically.

“fine,” you replied. “but—okay—if we were two little worms though, you know what i would call you?”

he gave you a displeased look before letting you continue, acting as if he wasn’t looking forward to the answer you had for him.

“jung-worm.”

there was a silence that somehow came out to ironically feel very loud before you let out a fit of giggles that you unsuccessfully contained.

“okay,” jungwon ‘fake laughed,’ “i think that’s enough bad jokes and dumb questions for the day.”

he began standing up, about to walk away.

“don’t pretend as if you don’t enjoy it,” you said playfully. “i know you love it.”

“no,” he said, stopping in his tracks, “no, they were quite terrible to say the least.”

he turned around and you waited for him as he continued after letting out a small chuckle, “but you know—even if it meant hearing all these worm jokes from you every day—i’d still choose you any day, in any form, because i guess i just love you that much.”

“thanks, wonie,“ you giggled “—i mean—wormie.”

he rolled his eyes jokingly before coming to you and placing a short kiss to your lips, pulling away with a smile, “shut up.”

A/N. thank you for reading !! reblogs and feedback are always helpful <3

2K EVENT MASTERLIST.

TAGLIST FORM.

[mochilly]

🌟 Dream the Hedgehog !

— Doctor Eggman got tired of losing all the time to Sonic and his friends. As a result, he got his hands on one of Sonic's and Shadow's quill, using their DNA to create a powerful weapon against them and with the power of a shooting star that has fallen, Dream the Hedgehog was born.

Made a Sonadow fankid I guess (?) I don't know if I should consider him a fanchild or not, but for now I'm kind of considering him as fankid...?

Also, please send me some scenarios or prompts to draw him! (Or idk questions about him?) I want to draw Dream more but I'm out of ideas to do so. Anyway, here are some information about him:

☆ He was named as Dream by Eggman who thought he was the solution to his problems, thinking he could make his dream come to reality.

☆ He normally stares a lot, can stay without blinking for long periods of time.

☆ Has Sonic speed and Shadow strength. Although being fast he utilizes roller skates, due the fact he's too much lazy to truly run on his own, preferring the aid of his roller skates.

☆ His roller skating style it's different from Shadow. Dream moves his legs in a different pace, he's fast by nature so he only needs a good thrust to keep going, and will stay like this for some seconds before thrusting again, not unlike Shadow who moves his legs constantly to keep his momentum.

☆ Dream doesn't usually speaks, and when he does it's in a sluggish sleepy manner.

☆ The shooting star that gave him life it's still in the possession of Eggman, it acts like his "heart", if some harm it's made to it, Dreams feels it all. Eggman uses it in his favor to keep Dream on his side.

☆ He sleeps most of the time, or when he can at least.

☆ Dream has a "Nightmare form" when he becomes too agitated, it can even be anger or sadness motivated. His shooting star energy becomes tainted with bad energy instead of a positive one and he transforms.

☆ His body can still move while he's sleeping, Dream it's able to fight/run perfectly, reacting to the things that happen around him, but he's not able to speak in that state.

☆ Even if Dream it's referred to as a hedgehog and has a body of one, he's more of a amalgamation of other mobians species that Eggman used to fill some "holes" in his DNA.

☆ Can flight slightly due to having shooting star energy onto him. But if the shooting star and Dream were reunited, he could fly perfectly and do some other tricks.

☆ Punched Sonic on the face in their first encounter while Sonic was still speaking and Shadow had to intervene at some degree when their fight got to disastrous and Dream wouldn't let go of Sonic, Dream got away afterwards.

[george-weasleys-girl]

Enemy Mine - Epilogue

Warnings: Mentions of the war and war injuries. Nothing graphic.

~•~

Y/N pushed herself up. A blinding, electric pain shot behind her eyes, causing her gorge to rise with the surge of agony. Suddenly, someone was rubbing her back as she heaved into the can they'd placed next to her.

Then there was nothing.

The next time, she didn't try to sit up, instead opening her eyes slowly taking in the dimly-lit room. She dared a look around, turning her head to the left, then to the right. Next to her was her mum sleeping on a reclining chair. And across the room, someone was sitting in a chair, also sleeping, his chin resting on his chest. At first, she thought it was her dad, but the features were wrong. She squinted, but her head throbbed from the effort, and a wave of nausea rolled over her. Not wanting a replay of the last time, she lay back down and closed her eyes, letting sleep take her again.

~•~

Y/N looked around. The sun shone through the window, casting a golden glow across the room. A hospital room.

She raised her head a little.

No pain or sickness now. Good, she thought. Time to try sitting up.

Slowly, inch by inch, Y/N pushed herself up. Her arms shook from the effort, but it seemed the worst was finally over.

"Mum?" She croaked.

"She and your dad have gone home to get showers and something to eat. They'll be back soon."

Y/N turned toward the voice. "Fred?"

"The one and only," he grinned and handed her a glass of water. "Welcome back to the world. How are you feeling?"

Y/N shrugged. "Ok, I guess. Weak and shaky," she looked down at herself. "What happened?"

"You saved my life."

"I - I did?" Y/N's eyebrows crinkled together as she tried to dredge up any sort of memory, and then her eyes widened. "There was an explosion..."

"Yeah. You pushed me out of the way and took the hit instead."

A dull ache echoed down her spine, and she rubbed the back of her neck. Her mind may not remember what happened, but her body certainly did. "How long have I been here?" She asked.

Fred thought for a minute. "A little over two weeks. The days have started to run together."

"Two weeks?! Seriously? You better not be fucking with me Fred Weasley."

"Hey, I wouldn't joke about something like this!" Fred looked genuinely offended.

"No. No, you wouldn't. I'm sorry, Freddie," she reached out and squeezed his hand. "You've matured a lot these past few years."

"Didn't have a choice," he shrugged. "Owning a business and living in a war zone will do that to a person."

Y/N simply nodded and gave a knowing smile.

A companionable silence fell between them. So much had happened since that fateful day he showed up at her doorstep declaring his love. For a long time, despite their attempts at friendship, they danced a precarious circle around each other, with Y/N stepping close, only to pull back again. It wasn't until after she left Hogwarts and was no longer bombarded daily by the memories of their past enmity that her and Fred's friendship finally blossomed.

"Hey, um," Fred began. "Thanks for saving my life. I owe you one."

"I would've been very sad if you died," she said.

"I would've been sad too," Fred replied. "Well, not sad that I died. Though if I could feel sad about being dead, I would. You know? But no, what I mean to say is that I'd be very sad if you died."

Y/N couldn't help but smile at his fumbling sweetness. It was hard to believe this was the same person she'd waged war against for so many years. Fred Weasley was proof that people could change if they really wanted to. And it was that change that prompted her to speak the words she said next.

"I think I know of a way you can pay me back."

"Name it, and it's yours," he grinned.

"A kiss."

"What?" Fred looked like a fisherman who'd just caught a whale.

"You heard me."

He continued to stare at her, mouth hanging open.

"Of course, if you don't want to, I'm sure I can think of - "

"No, no, it's not that. I do want to," Fred stammered. "It's just that this is so sudden, are you sure you - "

"It's not as sudden as you think," she interrupted. "I've been thinking about it for a while."

Y/N could've knocked him over with a feather. "You have? For how long? Why didn't you - "

"Fred," she cut in. "Shut up and kiss me."

So, he did. Slowly and gently, afraid to apply too much pressure to her fragile being.

"I've dreamed of doing that for so long," Fred sat back, a little breathless. "Now the dream has come true," he marveled, his lips spreading into a mischievous grin. "You know, it took you long enough."

Y/N cocked an eyebrow. "You know, this would've happened much sooner if you hadn't thrown that snake in my hair."

"Hey now! I was just trying to tell you I liked you."

"And in the process, gave me a snake phobia for the rest of my life!" Y/N reminded him. "You should've thrown flowers instead."

"Well, yeah, but then you'd be afraid of gardens." His grin was absolutely impish.

The mirth in her eyes belied her otherwise stern expression. "Remind me to kick your ass when I'm well enough," she ordered.

"Of course, my love," Fred smiled and outstretched his long arms. "My ass and all the rest of my devastatingly gorgeous self belongs to you and only you. Now and forever."

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @fredweasleyyyyy @hufflepuffie @alexistonks @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz @wolfkill16 @smallsweetvanillabean @costheticbabe @thatonepersonwhocantwrite @charmedfandomgal @loveosewood @hanne-montana @rhunew @greenapplegrass @lizzytrees @spididerman @igncrantbliss @28cnn @saintlike05 @millies0bsimp @yeah3459 @leeknows-wife @pandoraneverland @wickedsandwich08 @bai-wuxiangs-mask @c-yberstar @soosheee @ivvees-blog @withered-rxse @maddiedinosaur @astahsvea @impossibelle

[glowingbadger]

idk if this will be too specific so feel free to mix and match as you like, but 2, 16, 37, and 38 for Axel?

AXEL MY SPECIAL MAN I love him so much, always thrilled to write for him lol. And y'know, I've had this concept in mind with him for a super long while that, after he gets his heart back, he might have a hard time fully dealing with how intense his feelings for Reader-chan are, and how different it makes the sexual side of things feel for him, so I'm gonna roll with that for this and apologies in advance if it gets a bit longer than some of the other kink prompt drabbles~~

(Side note I wasn't sure who you wanted on the giving/receiving end of any of this so... I guessed lmao. Also because this was a lot of kinks for one piece, I played a little fast and loose with them and some are represented more than others. I was just kinda winging it idk)

Anyway man I spent too much time struggling to find any time to write lately so like if I have to come back to this in a week to fix word repetition and type-os then... so fuckin be it I guess lol

Axel (Kingdom Hearts) x GN! Reader

Kink prompts list #2 - body worship, #16 - praise, #37 - massage, #38 - size difference

NSFW 18+

Axel kisses you differently these days. Like the moment he feels your lips on his, he's struck by something powerful and compelling. Like he can't quite control himself. With his heart returned to him at last, you've quickly discovered the novel and enthralling sensation of it pounding rapidly beneath your hands when they come to rest on his chest. But then- just as he has every time since your reunion -he stops. The warmth of Axel's touch leaves you, and he pulls away even as your hands subconsciously remain clenched around his black t-shirt. You blink your eyes back into focus. He glows in the early evening light where the two of you have settled on a large blanket along the shores of the Destiny Islands. The stunning turquoise of his eyes still seems to sparkle like the sea itself, even as he glances away from you and sighs.

"S- Sorry," he mutters, his head hanging, "We should, uh, probably get back to the others, yeah?"

Your brow furrows, and you pause to watch him at first. It's impossible to tell in the bleeding reds and oranges of the coming sunset, but it almost seems as though his face is flushed pink. You wonder- have you ever seen Axel blush before? It doesn't seem like him. But then, he hasn't had his heart for very long.

Just as he starts to pull away from you, you find your voice,

"Axel- wait," you gently tug him back towards you on the blanket, and he follows so that he's made to face you, "Is... is everything alright?"

"Huh? 'Course everything's..." he trails off as he meets your eye. His expression falls, and you can tell he sees the pained concern on your face. He sighs.

"Sorry, I uh... Ugh," he runs a hand through his hair, exasperated, "Don't look at me like that, c'mon. I'll spill, okay? It's just," his posture deflates, "it's pretty lame."

You shift closer to him, straightening the scrunched up blanket as you do so you can pretend you don't notice the way his body tenses beside you.

"You've just... been worrying me a bit lately, that's all. About how you're doing and, well, about us."

"Woah, woah, hey now!" Axel frantically takes your hand in his, holding it almost painfully tight near his chest, "Don't go thinking like that! Don't ever think that! It's my fault- I'm... not used to actually feeling all of this."

You frown a bit, then your brows raise as you gradually begin to understand. As you process, he elaborates,

"Before, when I 'felt' things, it was more like remembering, or thinking about feeling. Like... when someone tells you something really sad, and you feel bummed about it, but you weren't really there, right? It wasn't your sad thing that happened."

You get the feeling that, for him, this is a frustratingly inadequate metaphor. Still, you understand well enough, so you nod.

"I got used to that," he says, his eyes low before raising them to gaze at you with a sincerity that makes your chest ache, "But now, it's different- I feel everything. I feel it so much- an-and, being around you, it... drives me absolutely nuts. My heart," he releases your hand and places his at his chest, "It just goes wild when I touch you, sometimes it's like it's about to go up in flames."

You look at him warmly, leaning close.

"Well, if anyone could handle that, it'd be you."

He gives a short laugh through his nose, and his gaze softens.

"Guess so. Anyway," he sighs, "it's super lame, so... I didn't wanna bother you with this. But I kinda blew it, huh."

"It's not lame, Axel," you say with a grin, "Honestly I probably should have thought of that before now- I'm sorry I didn't. It must be really overwhelming to be feeling so many things for the first time in so many years. You were just a kid when you lost your heart."

"Guess that's fair..." his body finally relaxes a bit, but after a pause, he adds, "Still, I feel like a jerk though. It's not that I don't wanna be near you, or... touch you and all of that," there's a heat in his expression as he speaks, raising a hand to tentatively graze his fingers down your jawline, "Man, I really, really do."

"Then... maybe you just need to ease back into it?" you lean into the feeling of his hand at your cheek, offering what you hope is a reassuring smile. He looks at you, confused but intrigued, and you say,

"Like, maybe you could just, you know, practice touching me. Take it slow, don't rush, and, well... touch me as much as you want."

The crimson of his face rivals his hair, and his voice scratches just slightly in his throat,

"Wha- like, like a massage?" he gives a short laugh, "I mean, I'll try, but I've never-"

"Sure, like a massage," you smile, and immediately begin undressing to only the bathing suite you'd thrown on beneath your clothes. He's seen your body before, back in his Nobody days- many times, and every inch. Now, you see his chest slowly rise and fall as he breathes deeply, watching you with something like awe in those bright teal eyes. A part of you dearly wishes you could fully understand how it feels for him. How world-shaking it would be to live without true emotions of your own, to somehow come close to love in that state, and then to one day regain those feelings and be confronted with the full intensity of it all. You wonder if he'll ever fully adjust; he lived without a heart for a decade, after all. But, at least for now, he seems very interested in that massage idea.

You lay across the blanket on your stomach and glance expectantly back at him over your shoulder. This seems to shake him back into the present moment, and he positions himself above you. Your body warms at the reminder of how much taller he is than you- the way that, in the past, he'd been able to manhandle you, touch any part of you, overwhelm you while you gasped his name. You shake the thought from your mind for the time being- he needs you to take this slow. For now, anyway.

Axel's hands come to rest tentatively at your shoulder muscles, and you smile at the familiar warmth of his touch. He's always been warm, though you suppose that only makes sense. Very gently- almost too gently- he begins to rub your shoulders up to the muscles at the base of your neck. You close your eyes and exhale, smiling while your heart flutters at the chance to finally feel this, feel him. Gradually, he works down to your shoulder blades, and you let out a groaning sigh as he works out a knot you hadn't noticed prior.

"Mmm, that's nice..." you murmur. You feel Axel's body tense behind you. "You doing alright?"

"Yeah," he says, too quickly.

Before long, those strong hands reach a firmer and more consistent pressure, and he seems ever slightly more sure of himself. You allow yourself a few happy sighs and groans to encourage him, commenting now and then when something feels especially nice. He takes his time, and you're patient, reminding yourself that, for as much as you burn and ache for more, he needs to be the one to guide your pace. Yet by the time his hands run down your back, tracing your waist and reaching your hips, you can't help the cat-like way you squirm beneath him. He's closer to you now, and you can feel his heat behind you. For a moment, you think you feel something else, too- something hard and warm at the swell of your ass.

"Damn, Y/N..." he mutters as he runs those hands back up your body, thumbs applying a wonderful pressure close to your spine, "You're gonna make me lose it with those noises..."

"Mmh, but it feels so good, Axel," you luxuriate on your words, mercilessly prodding at his lust. Perhaps it's cruel to tease him this way; already, you can feel the harsher grip of his hands, and you're certain you hear something like him biting back a groan of his own. With a playful look back at him, you arch your body and say,

"I missed this, you know. Having you on top of me."

"You little..." his words trail off, but his hands wander lower, briefly groping at your ass in a way that reminds you of how he'd grabbed and spanked you in the past.

"Sorry, sorry," you say with a small laugh, "Is this too much?"

"No," he grips your thighs and runs his hands upward until he's cupping your ass in both hands, spreading it beneath the fragile barrier of your swimsuit, "Now that I'm past that first barrier... it's nowhere near enough. Maybe that's what I was really nervous about this whole time."

At first, you only hum pleasantly as he fondles your body, your pulse racing with the thrill of his hands meticulously tracing your every contour. When you finally think to speak, you ask,

"What do you mean?"

"I mean..." you feel Axel's thumb play along the edge of your swimsuit, just barely sneaking below the clingy fabric, "I mean that I'm so crazy into you that right now I can't think of anything but how badly I wanna show you exactly how my heart and body both feel about you. And once I start..." his body presses to yours, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, "I don't know how I'm ever gonna stop."

For a moment, you're mindless and breathless. The heat of him around you is intoxicating, warming you through to your core even as the sun begins to dip beneath the glassy ocean behind you. Axel props himself over you with one arm on the blanket beside you, while his free hand holds at your hip, tugging you against him so you can feel the pressure of his hard and throbbing cock against your ass.

"Please," you whimper, "Axel, I've missed you so much."

Without a word, he tugs your swimsuit out of the way and opens the front of his jeans. The head of his member presses to your needy, clenching little hole, then forcefully begins to spread you open around him as he thrusts forward. His impassioned groan is swallowed up by your gasping cry of his name, but for a moment, he simply remains sheathed in you. You'd nearly forgotten how big he is, and he seemed eager to remind you, but even so, you can tell he hasn't entered you to the base just yet.

"Sorry... for makin' you wait so long..." he grunts against your ear.

"Wo... worth it..." you barely manage to reply. The pain and pleasure of him stretching you around his iron-hard cock is mind-numbing. You feel the tingling sensation across your skin all the way to your fingertips. Then, just as you'd begun to get accustomed to his size, his hips begin to sway. Despite his desperation for you, he's gentle, carefully and gradually pumping into you at a pace that allows you to adjust as he fills you just a little deeper with each pass. Axel has always been so much more gentle than he wants anyone to know, but you adore the harsher things about him, too. When you feel the tinge of discomfort of his cockhead bottoming out inside of you, your ass finally meeting his lower abdomen, you sigh his name aloud in absolute bliss.

"How's... that heart of yours doing?" you half-sigh.

He's pressed against you, holding you with an incredible loving tenderness while his massive cock sends mind-breaking tremors through your core.

"On fire," he says, the pace of his thrusts picking up, his breath hot and ragged at the back of your throat, "I like it."

[scribbling-dragon]

hello for the angst dialohue prompts: 35 OR 1 (or both if you fancy) for martyn/scott if that's ok (idk what you're up for with hermitshipping so if you would prefer platonic that's cool too!)

a last resort

summary:

“Scott,” Martyn’s guessed, Scott assumes. His eyes are sad, and his voice is pained. He looks like he might cry. “C’mon, man. You deserve better than this. You deserve better.”

“No, I don't.” He brushes his hand along the side of Martyn’s face, before allowing it to fall back into the water. “Please, do this one thing for me. I don't want them to kill me.”

(ao3 link)

(1,110 words)

warning for character death and spoilers for the last limited life session :]

The water swirled around him, unrelenting in its grasp as he kicked himself forward, pushing through the water, desperately trying to swim away, to escape- to free himself from those chasing him.

He glances back, squinting to see through the usually crystalline waters- they're cloudy now, with kicked up sand and silt, making it harder for him to see and spot his enemies- the people still pursuing him. But it also means that it’s harder for them to see him as well.

He watches as a dark shape shoots up, floating on the surface for a few moments before ducking back under, beginning the search again. His own lungs are beginning to burn now, but he can't rise to the surface- to do so would be to seal his own fate, and he’s hardly about to go down with little more than half a lungful of air and several people after his head.

It’s thirty minutes. Thirty minutes, and everyone has gone mad over it.

He pushes himself back a little further, ignoring the burning of his lungs and the aching of his chest. He doesn't particularly want to drown- not exactly a dignified end, but it would mean that no-one gets those precious minutes. They’d be tossed down the drain, out of reach.

Someone new splashes into the water, bubbles fizzling around them as they begin to look about, peering into the dusty depths of the ocean.

Scott places a hand on the rock beside him, leaning a little forward. Watches as Martyn continues to look around, the bright green of his outfit like a beacon drawing Scott closer.

He glances over at the searching people, watches as they continue to swim further and further out, fanning out to cover a greater distance. It’s almost as though they're working together, but Scott knows they would sooner turn on each other than let someone else get the prize of his death.

He glances back at Martyn again, the man still bobbing near the surface, still glancing around for him.

The promise of earlier echoes in his mind, and with that, he pushes off, escaping from the dark nook he had tucked himself into.

He keeps low, aware of how easily someone could see him- glance down when he’s in the wrong spot and he’ll give himself away before he can even reach Martyn. He swims, lungs burning, arms aching- his vision is beginning to go spotty but he grasps onto the faint tether of consciousness.

He waits, pauses, even as his brain demands he surface, that he take a lungful of air and drive this dizziness away. He waits, bides him time, watches until Martyn dips below the surface again.

He pushes up from the seabed, ignoring the prickles of pain as sharp stones and shells dig into the bare soles of his feet. He ignores it all, because he has only one shot at this, and by the gods he is going to make it count.

He grasps Martyn’s arm as he surfaces, pulling them around so Martyn’s body shields him from the other yellows, keeping him out of sight for just a moment more. Though he doubts it will last long- someone will see him in a moment, hiding behind Martyn beside their island, and the moment will be shattered. But a moment is all he needs.

“Scott,” Martyn gasps out. His eyes are wide, and Scott thinks he may have taken him by surprise. He blinks it away moments later and then he just looks worried. Worried for Scott. “Scott,” Martyn hisses, “what are you doing? Get back in there-” Martyn pushes at his shoulder, attempting to submerge him again, glancing back at the other yellows. “They're gonna see you.”

Scott holds on, unwilling to be shoved back under the water.

“I know,” he breathes, slipping out of Martyn’s hold, though he doesn't stray far. “But they're going to catch up eventually, I can't spend the rest of my time running.”

“That doesn't mean you should give yourself up!” Martyn glances back, as though worried someone may have heard him. “They've gone rabid over thirty minutes, who knows what else they'll do.”

“But you haven't.”

“I haven't what?”

“Gone rabid over the thirty minutes.” He brushes some of Martyn’s hair back from his face. His headband hardly does anything to help keep his hair out of his face, and he’s teased him for it several times. “Which is why I'm here.”

“Just because I'm not gonna kill you doesn't mean they won't.”

“I don't expect them to give up,” he doesn't want to say it. Doesn't want to ask Martyn to do this. But he’s running out of options as quickly as those yellows are running out of air, and he doesn't want to take his chances. “Not until I'm yellow.”

“Scott,” Martyn’s guessed, Scott assumes. His eyes are sad, and his voice is pained. He looks like he might cry. “C’mon, man. You deserve better than this. You deserve better.”

“No, I don't.” He brushes his hand along the side of Martyn’s face, before allowing it to fall back into the water. “Please, do this one thing for me. I don't want them to kill me.”

“I-” Martyn glances behind him again, and Scott looks too. Looks towards the yellows, bobbing on top of the water. The yellows that are watching them back.

“Martyn,” he grabs the front of Martyn’s jacket, ignoring the splashing of the approaching yellows. “Please, do this for me. Please.”

“I…alright.” Martyn drops his head, though he still pulls his sword free. It glimmers in the light, rasping as Martyn pulls it from its scabbard. Scott swallows because- he hadn't thought he would get this far, honestly. He didn't think Martyn would get this far, but they're getting closer and they don't have a choice-

Martyn drives it in swiftly, pushing it up to the hilt. It brings them closer together than before, pressed chest to chest now, Martyn’s head leaning against his own. Martyn’s eyes are wide, staring at him as though he’s seen a ghost.

He’s hardly far off from one now. The pain is numbing quickly, though he doubts that’s because the wound is healing. It’s too large- he can feel it, twisting his insides around even as Martyn slides it out as gently as possible.

“You deserved better,” Martyn murmurs, though the rest of his words become a garbled mess as his ears begin to ring. He almost thinks he hears the words my king, though he doesn't have long to consider it before respawn is sucking him in, pulling him into its inky depths to be remade.

[sawyerconfort]

2 and 48 with pre death kyle? 😚 ily

Hey, anon! Thanks thanks ily too!!!

I mean, I'm trying to change the blog so don't mind if I change the icon, the pattern and everything, is just experimental!

Anyway, last post for today, I promise!

(but my masterlist is finally organized so, I guess it's a win?)

Let's stop talking and go to the oneshot, yeah?

Kyle is such a bean <3 pre and post death, I mean...

I LOVE EVAN PETERS!

Enjoy!

Want to send me an ask? You can choose a prompt here!

---------------------------------

2. "is that my shirt?" 48. "you look sexy."

*ok maybe just pretend you're zoe idk hahaha*

Kyle and the gang were playing in a neighboring town against a neighboring frat as well, and you were entirely determined not to miss him, but it was kind of impossible at this point because your boyfriend was pretty much the only person from the frat you talked to and had a sincere friendship.

Come on, the other guys weren't all that nice, and the girls even less - they were always making plans to flirt with Kyle at one of the parties you almost always threw -…

The days went by, the games went by, and with the lack of news from Kyle, you were starting to go crazy. It was hard to concentrate on classes, eat alone in the cafeteria, and especially not have him in bed at night.

It was unbearable to live with it until you found a solution: his lost shirt in the middle of the wardrobe (from the wardrobe mess, rather…)

As soon as Kyle returned, he was greeted with cheers and cheers for the team's performance, and you were left there in the corner, waiting for some alone time. It didn't, of course, because the boys went straight to celebrate at a nearby diner and would probably stay up all night drinking and laughing to themselves at their inside jokes. You went because it was customary for them to bring their significant others, and Kyle looked so airy and happy that he didn't even notice you were wearing his shirt.

Okay, that made you sad, but it wasn't his fault anyway…

***

You got back to his room, having had a few drinks, and you threw yourself on the bed, ready to pull his jock shirt off, when Kyle turned around, after his shower, smiling.

"Is that my shirt?" he asked, stretching a smile into something sly and teasing.

"Didn't you notice until now?" you asked, frowning.

Kyle shrugged. "I noticed, but I didn't want to say anything in front of crew, you know... I'd rather see your flushed face when we're alone, (Y\N)..."

You blushed instantly, taken aback by his teasing. Kyle wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, kissing you hard on the lips with the same smile.

"You look sexy...", he whispered in your ear, laughing. "That I couldn't say in front of the boys as well, so I thought I'd wait."

And you blushed once more as he pushed you onto the bed, practically ending the night with make-out and sex until the sun was almost up. Because Kyle was like that, whenever he got the chance, he would tease you and make you blush to take advantage of it...

[furryprovocateur]

For the video gaymer ask meme: 1-8

platform of choice when gaming

not to be annoying but sony is the console manufacturer i prefer. in a perfect world sony would not be the best of the big three and would instead easily be the worst. but we live in a society that does not value men who. how does the full quote go idk it

2. top 5 games of all time

in ascending order: shin megami tensei: persona 3, sonic adventure 2: battle, fire emblem, phantasy star online: episode I and II plus, shin megami tensei: nocturne. the top 2 have been fairly set in stone for several years now, and the remaining 3 have fluctuated among the top 10 or so but this feels most correct. sad that the 6th place snub is FFXII 💔

3. favorite boss

NONE OF THEM!!!! #antiwork anyways i'm not sure what i would use as a criteria for this. i think i'm gonna go with the master from fallout because it really is just the most well done encounter in any RPG imo. if there's a "favorite final boss" question i'll kms because this would be my answer for that one.

4. favorite OST

here since i already answered this i'll just isolate some of my favorite tracks off the top of my head: "Dark Samus Boss Fight" - Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, "Miller Ball Breakers" - Jet Set Radio, "Kopfsprung" - Ever17, "You Blow My Mind" - Street Fighter III: Third Strike, "This is True Love Makin'" - Capcom vs. SNK 2, "Distant Travels" - Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade, "Climbing to the Top" - Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, "Hoist the Sword with Pride in the Heart" - Etrian Odyssey III: The Drowned City, "Their Own Brand of Justice" - Etrian Odyssey III: The Drowned City (yes it gets two entries. fatlus, remember), "Demon of Darkness" - Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor, "Septentrione" - Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2, "Changing Seasons" - Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3, "Lovely Gate 3" - Sonic Adventure 2, and, if you've actually read this entire list, we must end with the classic "NO MORE NO MORE HEROES" - No More Heroes.

5. most memorable game moment

any time i see this prompt on asks like this my mind immediately and distinctly goes to one of the plot twists of zero time dilemma, specifically one regarding D team. i won't say what it is, but all i will say is that it had me going "SHUT THE FUCK UP. . . NO FUCKING WAY" for like 5 mins straight. the ending of drv3 is also up there on the same level of memorable.

6. first game you ever played

probably the original super mario bros. on NES at a family member's house. it's much harder to delineate what was the first game i meaningfully played on my own. i'm tempted to say something like mario kart 64.

7. most recent game you've played

trying to catch a calm lilleep from the dreamworld in white 2. before that, i was mat duping in PSO all of yesterday. i had 5 characters to do mat plans for, including TP materials (i got them with action replay. idgaf if you call that cheating because not having access to an entire material offline is stupid. 🤪). i had to stop at like 11:30 last night due to getting tired, but i only have like 400ish mats left to do, which is pretty decent all things considered.

8. most anticipated upcoming game

is "none of them" an answer? jkjkjkjkjk i wouldn't say i'm actively anticipating anything but i guess by default metaphor re:fantazio because i pre-ordered it and know nothing about it. i'm more interested in seeing what the fuck it's gonna be than i would say anything else. metroid prime 4 seems like an easy candidate for hype so i'm staying cautious. i never really wanted the prime trilogy to get a sequel and would've rather they just do their own thing like they did with dread. oh well.

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts day 21

From this prompt list. I set a goal of writing at least 150 words per day in 2024, which sounds pretty pathetic but if you take into account the fact that I haven’t written any fiction since 2019 it felt like a feasible target. And then somehow it turned into “I’m going to write a single interconnected story utilizing all of these prompts” which ?????, what can I say, I am incredibly foolish and there's no limit to my capacity for self-deceit. Anyway, it's fully drafted now, topped out at about 88k, and I'll be unlocking tumblr posts as I edit.

read from the beginning here

Days 19 & 20 here

***

24. “Say please.”

***

Tim fell back into bed as soon as he returned to the Nest and didn't wake up for thirteen hours, which might have been a new record for him. He was conscious of being annoyed before he even opened his eyes, but couldn't remember why until he had poured his second cup of coffee down his throat and his brain finally kicked into gear.

Oh right. Damian had been an asshole. What a surprise.

It wasn't until his fourth cup of coffee, drunk in between bites as he shoveled scrambled eggs into his mouth and typed on his laptop with his free hand, that he recalled his parting verbal shot and dropped his fork on his plate with a clatter.

"Oh, fuck," he blurted, and the horror in his voice echoed through the room.

He ran to his room to look at his phone for the first time since he'd fallen asleep, and found a chain of unread messages from Stephanie.

timothy jackson drake, what the hell did you DO

why is the baby bat down here punching the bag like captain america pining for peggy

I'm not joking he looks gray

like he's sick or something

except for where he's bright red

and he came storming back down here after you two talked so I’m guessing it was something you said

whatever it was I think it was pretty bad

seriously I know my therapist keeps telling me I have to stop triangulating but u might need to do something or debriefs are gonna be a shitshow

unless it was all his fault. idk I’m not ur mom

Tim swallowed, and swallowed again as he scrolled down the screen. Fuck. Fuuuuck. Damian might have started it, but Tim had brought the equivalent of a nuclear weapon to a knife fight. Shit. How tired had he been?

He texted back, i fucked up so bad steph and sent it before he could think better of it.

She responded fast, so she might have been waiting for his reply. No shit? well now u have to do ur least fave thing and I'm guessing it's gonna be pretty rough

Tim frowned. whats my least fave thing

She sent him a string of emoji in various states of sadness followed by, apologize u poor man. I know it burns to be part of the human race and have to admit it out loud

Tim sighed, but she wasn't done yet. A cascade of rapid-fire follow-ups popped down his screen.

and again I can't emphasize enough how little I give a shit if u and dami are fighting except that it makes everything awkward forever

and bruce gets all broody about it which is even more awkward

so pull ur head out of ur ass and pop his free too while you're at it because I was just waiting for him to throw some kind of fat joke at me

and I don't want to kill a young man

Tim snorted. say please

The three dots pulsed for a very long time, and he grinned. Finally, she replied, please, help me, red robin, ur my only hoe

lies i know ur friends

tim srsly pls just make things not suck

He sighed. mission accepted

good. I know he can be such an asshole but he rly did look like he was gonna puke

Tim dropped the phone on his mattress and buried his face in his hands, groaning. Great. Apology it was. Assuming Damian would even accept.

Days twenty-two and twenty-three here

[moriavis]

C, S and U

C. A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can’t.

Oh, man. I don't even know. The one that comes to mind for me is Kate Kane/Maggie Sawyer. (cue comics rant.) During 52, Greg Rucka spent so much time building the relationship of Kate and Renee. It was deep and complex, it was soulmates-who-met-at-the-wrong-time, it was I-love-you-even-when-you're-bad-for-me. They became vigilantes parallel to each other. I loved their love so much I would claw at my face in delight each week.

Then Greg Rucka left, and the New 52 happened. Renee's Question persona was retconned. She was barely mentioned for ages. And JHWIII and Blackman wrote the Batwoman series, and. IDK. Looked around for other lesbian characters and landed on Maggie because she was the only one? Yeah, no. Apparently, I still have strong feelings about this one! ^^;

S. What’s a headcanon you have?

I don't really know if I have any specific headcanons? I guess my biggest one is that if Len survived the explosion at the Oculus, he's a meta. You survive an explosion from a device that controlled time while outside of time? You're a meta now. I don't make the rules.

My other big one is that Cisco and Lisa are endgame. Don't care what the show decided.

U. What are your favorite male/female ships?

Ooh, interesting. Well, my ride or die is Cheri Majors/Citizen Pain from the comic series Violent Messiahs. Messed up traumatized hero-and-villain? Love at first sight? YES.

My other favorite from the top of my head is Jonothan Starsmore (Chamber) and Paige Guthrie (Husk) from Generation X. I will be forever bitter that they ended up not really being a thing.

Those two are some old school comics references. LOL

I do also really, really like Cisco/Lisa and Iris/Eddie. They were both really adorable, and I'm sad we didn't get more content. (Eddie should've lived past S1, imo.)

That was a lot of fun! Thanks for asking! It was a nice break from the kiss prompts I'm writing. <3

Fandom-related questions

[suixidalthoughts]

Idk...

Saturday, March 9, 2024 11:41 pm

Hey, it’s me.  This is kinda ridiculous, but I have a lot on my mind.  I used to journal and it used to help.  I guess.  It’s been a while since I last journaled, as i’m terrible keeping a schedule.  Which is probably the root of a lot of my problems.  To be honest i’m not really sure where to start.  This has been my problem with journaling as i’m often way to critical, I start writing then delete because I feel stupid, then I never touch the journal again.

Honestly, I don’t know why it’s so hard to write my emotions down as I seem to have no issues constantly telling people how I feel.  Maybe it’s because I actually am forcing myself to think about what I’m saying and judging myself.  To help myself on where to start I looked up some journaling prompts online that are supposed to help me write what I feel.  So here it goes… I guess.

Whats the dominant emotion i’m feeling right now? 

The dominant emotion I’m feeling right now is sadness and emptiness.  I feel like I’m going absolutely nowhere with my life.  That I will never be anyone.  That I will ruin my relationship as I’m doing a pretty good job of it right now without meaning to.  That I will end up homeless, alone, sad and bored with my life.  I had trouble in school fitting in and being happy, but I was never prepared to be an adult.  I feel like I’m failing at life and it is all my fault.  I’m tired of life.  I’m tired of doing things.  I’m lazy, I barely work and I barely do things, yet I feel no energy to do those said things.  People tell me I’m not lazy, but I know full well that I am.   I feel empty because I have no idea what I want to do with my life I wasn’t even planning to live this long.  My boyfriend constantly doesn’t feel like he’s enough and it’s my fault because I constantly need the validation to feel even a little bit human.  I’m a horrible, selfish person.  I feel like I’m manipulative not on purpose or maybe on purpose I have no idea because I feel I have no grasp of my feelings or actions, but I do.  I don’t know how to get better.  I just messed up in life.

What do I think happened to trigger this emotion?

My boyfriend and I got into a fight and it was my fault.  I mean I was thinking all of this before it, but it got worse after he was upset that I was upset.  He said “I feel like I’m never enough for you.” “Maybe you should find someone else then” (or something like this)  Because I had said “I constantly need physical attention” (again maybe not exact, but that is what I remember)

When is the last time I felt truly happy? 

Honestly, I’m not 100 percent sure.  I mean I love being with My boyfriend he makes me mostly happy, but there are always the negative thoughts and feelings in my head.  Sometimes it’s too much to bear, especially lately.  

What makes me feel safe?

My boyfriend makes me feel safe.  Having hugs makes me feel safe.  

When do I feel the most down or off?

Anytime I have a lot of things to do or have a lot of things on my mind.  Which lately feels like all the time and it sucks because I just suck the fun out of everything.

What would I do right now if I knew I couldn’t fail? 

I would go to college to be a psychologist and a dancer.  

Whats one thing I need to let go of?

My birth mom, she will never be able to give me the love that I crave and need.  She will only make me feel more neglected in life.  I need to stop trying to fill that void it’s been going on long enough.  

Whats my greatest fear?

Not being perfect.  My brain never shutting up.  Me pushing everyone away just to end up alone and said.  Never being a mom. Never having a family.  

What am i feeling anxious about right now? 

Not having enough money to ever live on my own.  Not being a good girlfriend.  Being too selfish.  Needing too much from everyone.  Not being able to let go of toxic people.  Not knowing what emotions of mine are real.  What if they are all fake and I’m just feeling like this for attention?  And if I am just feeling this way for attention why am I doing this, what is the reason? I’m so confused.  I feel like everything I do is contradictory to myself.  I want to do everything and nothing.  I want to be hardworking, but I don’t want to do the work.  Why?  

I’m so tired of living,  it’s exhausting.  I don’t know what to do.  I’m too scared to die, but I think of it daily and I feel selfish because why am I thinking about it?  I have a wonderful boyfriend my life is better now than it has ever been.  I live in the most beautiful state.  His mom loves me.  My boyfriend loves me and I love him more than anything, but I feel like he’d be better off without me.  I feel like I’m not enough.  I can’t show him that he is enough I don’t know how.  He is.  I just have too high of expectations for anyone.  I feel immature.  Why do I have to be like this?

And no, I’m not trying to feel sorry for myself because I am not.  I know all of these feelings are my fault.  I just wish I wasn’t the way I was and I don’t know how to change.  Or maybe deep down I do know how, but I’m for some reason not willing to do the work to change.  

It’s taking everything in me right now to not cut myself right now.  I don’t know why I want to.  Maybe to shock myself into the present moment and to stop feeling sad.  Or too at least alieve some of the stress I’m feeling.   I know it’s messed up, but It’s what I used to do to cope with my feelings.  I know cutting is for the weak.  Suicide is for the weak and it’s selfish yadda yadda yadda.  These are just feelings I’m dumping.  Besides, I know if I cut myself my boyfriend. will put me in an insane asylum.  I really don’t want to go.  

My mental health isn’t just killing me.  It’s killing the people around me and I need to take myself out of the equation.  I can’t keep hurting people.  And I can’t keep living like this.  

[hoshigray]

Spread love to fanfic writers! Answer these questions about your fanfics then send this to 5 other fanfic writers 💙 Name a fic you loved writing the most. Name a fic that others loved but you didn’t care for as much. Name a fic you had the most fun writing. Name a fic that you are the most proud of. Name a fic that you wish had gotten more recognition. Name your happiest/saddest/most comedic fics!

mona bearrrr !! omg, i appreciate this as this gives me time to look through all the pieces I've worked on. So hmmmm....

Loved Writing the Most: Old Tricks, Same Treats is my pride and joy. Sure, it's my most popular work, but it means a whole lot to me to make a story with my favorite character with my favorite trope and make it come out in the way I actually envisioned! Like I think about it all the time; how it makes me proud that I made that piece and how I wish to make a series for it when I get the time.

Others Loved; I Didn't: mmmmm I'mma be real with you; none really come to mind. but, if I had to really pick, maybe Gotta Have "U" in Sugar??? idk, at the time of writing it, I thought it was a pretty good concept. But now, it was my first long fic and tbh, I think I could do a better job structuring the story or actually have Toji be, well, Toji. i don't know....maybe a concept I can pick up again? who knows.

Most Fun to Write: Omgggg I'd give that to Sink Your Teeth to Drink!! that was my second time writing for Choso (sadddd i love him sm) and it was with a prompt that fit him so well!! I tried to make it as cute and funny as possible, but also hot and steamy, ya know. omg, I just realized I never proofread that one.....might have to fix that ngl, hehe.

Most Proud Of: I'd give that to SMASH or SLASH[er]!! tbh. It was the first fic I got to make after my one or two-month hiatus from fanfic writing. And not only was it my first time writing a threesome fic (holy shit!!), but I believe this was a pivotal point for me in terms and a foundation for how I write fics as of now. I owe this fic a lot for my growth, so I'm still kinda psyched about writing it myself.

Wished Had More Recognition: I'd say I Can Drink Your Sorrow for this one. It was my first time writing a full fic for Gojo, so I kinda get how it didn't get traction. However, I did put a lot of heavy emotion into the story and tried to make it not about the smut. It's a pretty mild yet messy story, esp at the end.

Most "______" Fic:

Happiest: Bear Mine is probabaly it, bc 1) i'd love to have babies with toji lmfaooo, 2) I love having the opportunity to explore toji's vulnerable side when I can. Whenever I go back and read this, I can't stop fighting the smile as I read! Like yes, Toji having happiness in his life which he deserves!?? Sign me up!! and tbh, a close second would be this fic as well...

Saddest: I Can Drink Your Sorrow; again, has a lot of heavy emotion because I wanted the reader to actually feel the goat from Gojo's perspective and what he was doing. I guess I wouldn't say it's "sad," but the way he beats himself up over what he did (which is valid) is a bit heart-wrenching.

Comedic: lol i think that one goes to Seven Hellish Minutes of Heaven; idkkkk i guess it's bc i modleled from conversations with my friends to make the bickering and insults between reader and Gojo seem more realistic, but funny at the same time, ya know? I think writing for him is where I find it easiest to come up with comedy dialogue, so (as of recent) I'd say this is my most funniest.

And that's it, really!! Honestly, this was kinda hard to do as I don't usually go back on the things I write — especially the old ones, lol. But tysm for this, mona dearest, love ya mwah !! 💓