#idk about my family. first time i let them go but since its two hour drive they might not be there which is bad cause i wont be filmed

[thoughtfulseason]

hi just checking in cause i just saw your post about your day <3 dw, some days just suck!! tomorrow will be better, i promise! hope you feel better soon 🫶🏼

yeah… the things today felt worse than just a bad day but hopefully tears i cried today will heal what’s broken. and hopefully my toe will be alright and won’t threaten to take fencing away from me (the thing dearest to me). thanks for caring <3 tomorrow will be better ☀️

[lovelookspretty]

not so bad

college!rafe cameron x reader au

— in which rafe and y/n absolutely despise each other in public but crush in secret. rafe is failing his humanities class & is assigned y/n as his tutor . . . maybe all it took for this relationship to form was just a bit of forced proximity and some time.

warning(s): nothing much, just rafe and y/n being cuteness, but there is a little bit of a serious talk !! omg rafe being kind ?? this is insane

authors note: this is NOT the end of the series of course. theyre just starting to become friends but obvi theyre gna become lovers with time. am i rushing this ?? idk cs theyve been frenemies since kids n now theyre js officially friends in part 4 like okay u guys move fast. mayb its my fault

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

you knock upon his door, your heartbeat thudding with each pulse as you anxiously wait outside his dorm. rafe had gotten back to you just hours after you sent him the message about the second tutor session, seeming to be just fine with having to spend more time with you after ignoring each other all week.

it just worries you a little about how this is going to go.

the door opens, revealing the blond boy himself. his tongue is pressed against the side of his mouth as he leans out between the crack in the door. his eyes are right on you, and he strands up straight, pulling the door open completely to let you in.

he’s standing there in some forest green crewneck with a white shirt underneath and some pants. in his hand is a small glass container full of what looks like mac and cheese and what you guess are steak bites with a spoon sticking out of it. he eats so much actual food instead of cafeteria food that you know that he’s gonna get his own place after freshman year and invest mostly in his kitchen for some gourmet shit that reminds him of home and some gym preps. that’s just so rafe.

you’re not surprised though that he doesn’t share any of his food with those in the dorm building with you guys, even just to sell them and make money. even though you know a ton of students would pay and kill to get away from the same rotation of food they’re usually served here. ‘cause it’s not like he needs the extra money anyway. his family’s loaded. so that is so not rafe.

there’s also a small smile on his face when he lets you in, but also like there’s just absolutely no thought behind his eyes. he looks stupid. but you think he looks stupid every time you see him.

you hesitantly step inside, still not completely comfortable in his space. or comfortable at all. it almost feels like your first time inside his dorm again, only with more tension than before everything. a month ago, you didn’t even think that was possible.

“so you’re failing english,” you’re the first to say something. you walk over to his desk like last time and carefully set your ipad on its surface.

“english isn’t for everyone.”

“surprised it isn’t for you after that little showdown in class,” you point out, turning to him.

he shuts the door behind him and locks it, then walks to his bed to sit on the edge, facing you. digging into his mac, he nods, “that was fun by the way.”

you raise an eyebrow at him. what is going on? one moment he’s not even paying you any mind but now he’s able to have a normal conversation with you. even say something kind of nice.

but then, you’ve been the same way in the switch from neglect to willingness.

“show me your notes,” you tell him, and he pushes himself off the edge of the bed to stand and walk to you. you watch him as he approaches his desk, controlling his laptop through his track pad.

he navigates through chrome and opens his documents like last time. he pulls up his most recent notes, which are in a folder with the title being the dates of this past week.

“since our first ever session, i started organizing my notes for class for every lecture per week,” he says, stepping away from the laptop to let you take a look at it. you go to sit in his chair to inspect his new notes, noticing the huge difference in how he takes notes now. “these five have been from this week for this class. so . . .”

as he trails off you can hear him eat spoonfuls and spoonfuls of his food, in which you glance back at him at the sounds of. but your focus is still on the notes, to tutor him.

you’re surprised that he’s gone to no notes to notes at all, let alone organized ones with folders, headings, dates, actual information, the whole shabang. has he been doing this for all of his classes too?

“that’s . . . impressive,” you say honestly, looking back at him. “but i don’t get it. if you’ve been writing down the lecture material then why are you almost failing the class?”

he shrugs, finishing his bite before swallowing it down to speak. “english isn’t for everyone,” he repeats himself, and you raise an eyebrow at his words.

you’re a little lost because literally none of this makes sense. “w— wait, so you . . . you take your english notes for about three weeks and whether or not you absorb the material, you boil it down to: at the end of the day you’ll fail because ‘english isn’t for everyone’? rafe.”

“y/n,” he says.

“why are you even in university?” you ask him, and you see his expression falter when he realizes you’re serious. “i mean like actually. we both left the outer banks to attend here but you’re failing your classes whether you do the work for them or not. it seems like you aren’t even trying. what’s the point?”

“you know, college isn't just about classes,” he tells you, and you cock your head in question. “it’s about the whole experience—making connections, networking, discovering yourself. it’s what i wanted to do from the start. plus, there are plenty of other ways to learn besides sitting in a lecture hall.”

you stare at him in silence. that doesn’t answer your question at all. “okay, but you aren’t learning, period. like lectures apparently go in one ear and out the other,” you say, and rafe only smiles as he looks down at his food, picking at it as he makes his way over to the edge of his bed again.

“i mean isn’t the whole point of college to get an education?” you ask him, your tone skeptical. “seems like a waste of time and money if you're not even going to try to pass all your classes.”

he gives you a knowing look when you mention money, but it’s almost like he doesn’t want to talk about about that. or need to. “to each their own, y/n,” he replies cryptically, and his expression is unreadable. “we all have our reasons for being here.”

a part of you understands where he’s coming from completely, yet another part insists that there’s still a way to balance both. you know he’s capable. he just needs some motivation.

“i think . . . you should have no reason to be failing right now, especially because of your improvement from last time,” you tell him honestly. “you should be making the most out of your already-paid-for classes anyway! you’ve written the work, you’ve been able to pass your exams, you said you needed to study last time i was here, you read a book assigned to the class and were able to debate with me on it. you’re fully capable. you just need a little push maybe.”

he grimaces. “are you gonna spend your time here to teach me how to learn?”

“no.” you shake your head at him, “i’m gonna spend my time here to just motivate you. you’ve spent all your time investing a great amount of energy and effort into your other classes. why not this one? thompson doesn’t need me to tutor you; he just wants me to help you in any way that i can.”

rafe is silent as you spin around in his chair to face him fully.

“we can work on our assignment together if you want,” you offer, but your voice comes out in a mumble, unsure if he’ll take it or feel off about the idea. “i haven’t finished it yet. this way, we can be in each others presence here, but not with me teaching you, but us working together at the same level.”

for once you can see in his face that there’s a little glint in his eyes. and he looks . . . hopeful. he nods. and you feel good about this, in some weird way—just working out things between you and him when for years it’s been nothing but tension. it’s almost like a weight off your back to know that you both are okay with each other enough to be friends. or kind of friends. or tolerate each other.

you twist your body and take his laptop into your hands, then stand from the chair to hand rafe his laptop while simultaneously taking his container from him. you set it down on his desk and cover it up for him.

“prepare for the worst few hours of your life,” you tell him as you pull up your class assignment, and you don’t need to look up to see the smile on rafe’s face. you can tell he’s holding back from it but it’s there. and there’s one on yours too.

after just an hour and a half of discussing, writing, deleting, a lot of questions, yelling, and finally completing all of your english work for the week, you get ready to head back to your dorm. it’s definitely late and rafe mentioned that lorenzo should be coming back soon and will wanna go to sleep right away.

with your ipad tucked underneath your armpit you push rafe’s chair in under his desk, then head for the door. rafe has once again offered you more water like before but this time the offer came with snacks from the whole drawer that rafe had organized in his bedspace. that guy has great taste in snacks.

“thanks for helping me out by the way,” rafe mumbles under his breath as he treads behind you, walking you out. you open the door and look back at him, in which his hand finds the door above your head. “you didn’t have to do it a second time but you did. i really, uh . . . i really appreciate it.”

“literally no problem at all,” you say as he pulls out some cash from his back pocket like he prepared it for you. you raise your eyebrows. “no it’s fine. i didn’t even tutor you today. you can keep it.”

“you still took time out of your day and helped me out so unfortunately it does,” he insists, then slaps the money in your palm.

you roll your eyes, stuffing it in your pocket as you turn around to leave.

“hey wait,” he says, reaching out to stop you but pulling away before he could make contact. he’s a little anxious as he goes to scratch his temple, closing one of his eyes as he thinks about it for a second. you stop and wait patiently, curious. “sorry for being so weird the other day,” he starts to say, but you’re already waving your hand to tell him it’s okay.

“rafe really, it’s oka—”

“it’s not,” he cuts you off, and you’re silenced from the look on his face. he looks almost defeated, or rather disappointed in himself. he can’t even look at you like he’s embarrassed of what he’s said and done.

he takes a moment to build the courage to communicate his thoughts, and eventually he knows exactly what to say.

“i was just having a rough day ‘cause i was just overwhelmed,” he says. you furrow your eyebrows, wondering what he means. it seems personal that you step back inside his room and shut the door behind you.

“then when i saw you here with enzo, it didn’t even cross my mind to think that you were actually here for me. since i wasn’t even in the room, i thought ‘why would she just be here?’ . . . it was just a lot of fresh feelings and everything was setting me off, including that. and i’m . . . i’m sorry, it shouldn’t have happened,”

“and i’m sorry for ignoring you for a week too. i thought we were just back to how things have always been, and to be honest, that made me upset too. ‘cause you’re really cool to be around. i guess.”

you frown at him. “i think you’re pretty cool too,” you tell him. “even though you piss me off. it feels kind of nice being able to talk to you like we’re . . .”

“friends,” he finishes for you, and you nod. he’s smiling. “that whole feud just to become friends after two hours of tutoring huh?”

your smile turns into a laugh as you nod. you had the same thought. “maybe it just means that since we became friends so easily, we were meant to become that in the first place instead of whatever we were,” you suggest, and rafe grins at you. your smile fades slowly as you stare up at him, “so friends?”

“whatever,” he says with his grin still, and he goes to shake your hand on it. you chuckle, pulling away from the handshake to push his chest, and you head for the door again. “i’ll see you?” he asks, following you again.

“i’ll see you,” you say as you walk down toward your dorm. when you take out your key, you look to the side and see rafe’s head peeking out from his door. he’s beaming, his smile open with his tongue pressed to the side. “goodnight,” you say, unlocking your door as you head inside.

“goodnight,” you can hear him respond as you shut the door behind you, and you spot aria sleeping in her bed already.

you place your ipad on your desk and approach your dresser to retrieve some new clothes. you plan on heading to the showers really quick to get ready for bed.

as you collect your clothes, towels, and shower caddy, you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. you slip out of your room to head for the showers, swiping up on your screen to see what’s going on. it’s a message from rafe.

‘ ik u just left like 15 minutes ago but my friends and i wanna go see this new coffee shop tmw and they play live music. just wanted to know if u would wanna come? ’

before you can reply, he sends another message:

‘ totally fine if not idk what our boundaries are ’

‘ u would like elara and lorenzo. they’re really cool ’

‘ i’ll pay for your coffee ’

you jump at the opportunity to reply back instantly.

‘ i’ll see u there !! ’

@svnsetcrve @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @lalalalala33 @darkcolorexpert @babyflockaaaa @lifeofleasaasa @ilyrafe @mkiverd @wxn-drlst

[imtryingbuck]

Oh, He Cheated

~ gif not mine credit goes to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Reader walks in on her boyfriend cheating then confessions are made

Word count: 919

Warnings: angst? fluff? ima say both, idk. stds are mentioned, swearing, somebody gets punched, and I think that’s it – oh a protective bucky

Masterlist

Walking into your apartment, you come to a halt. You hear noises of pleasure. Looking into your bedroom you see your boyfriend of 3 years having sex with your best friend. You should be devastated of the betrayal, but you simply can’t however you do have to stifle that booming laughter from clawing its way out. You just walk back out the door quietly shutting the door and head back to the tower. 

You work for Tony as an “assistant” more like you get paid a ridiculous amount of money just to make sure Tony eats and drinks and not sleep in his lab. Curtsy of Pepper. Both look at you as their daughter which is great as you don’t have a good relationship with your parents. You absolutely adore them and the team. They are your family. 

Speaking of family, they’re all sat in the common room talking about something you can’t quite hear. Sam’s the first one to see you, smiling wildly he then looks confused. “What you doing here sugar mama”.

“Yeah thought you headed home”. Comes the voice of your red headed friend Natasha.

“Oh yeah um I walked in on Joe fucking Stacey in my bed so thought I’d come back here, didn’t want to disturb their romp”. You say it like it’s nothing, and if you’re completely honest it’s true. It doesn’t bother you that your boyfriend is sleeping with your best friend.

It’s not the first time he cheated, it happened once and he told you afterwards apparently the guilt got to him. That was a lie, the other woman found out about you so she blackmailed him to tell you. Ever the fool you forgave him he promised not to do it again. You found out about him and Stacey two months ago when Stacey gave you her phone to look through a photo of you two and that’s when you found the videos of them going at it. Then that night whilst he was passed out next to you, you went through his phone to look at his messages between them, they’d been sleeping together for 3 months, he needed his needs to be met and ever the desperate mess she is she let herself be the other woman. You had been busy everyday with the team rebuilding the tower after the latest attack so naturally sex was the last thing on your mind. At first it hurt because she’s been your friend since you were little and you were very much in love with him but now you find it funny. Funny because she told you three months ago she had STDs. He obviously doesn’t know. And that’s why it’s hilarious.

You tell your family this, they’re angry. But you told them you didn’t care anymore the only reason why you was still with him was because of the lease of your apartment. You told them that every time you saw him you wanted to laugh. And that it didn’t matter anyway as you was in love with someone else.

Tony being Tony had already got in touch with your apartment manager to get you off the lease then an hour later you’re back at your apartment with your family behind you. Walking in you see Stacey still there, she smiles at you but you don’t give the gesture back. “Hey boo I just got here wanted to see if you wanted to g-“ her sentence is cut off by Natasha slamming her into the wall. Nats never been a fan. Joe stands frozen looking confused as everyone starts packing your stuff for you, he pathetically attempts to talk to you but gets cut off by Buckys metal fist to his mouth. The team don’t even bat an eye to it but you’re slightly taken back by the punch.

“You ever go near her again or even look at her I will kill you. Try and talk to her I will kill you. Do you understand?” Bucky growls “do you understand”. He shakes Joe by his shirt.

“Yes yes I understand!” He then looks at you “baby what’s this about” he spits the blood out of his mouth.

You look around checking your stuff is gone before you step over to him and Bucky. “If I was you I’d get yourself checked, she’s riddled with stds” Nudging you head in the direction of your now ex best friend. “Oh also the moans she was letting out an hour ago was fake. Your little pecker isn’t great. Ok bye bye” You laugh as you hook your arm with Bucks left one and all of you take your leave. 

Later that night you’re on the rooftop admiring the view when you hear someone clearing their throat behind you. 

“Hey I didn’t mean to startle you” 

“You didn’t Buck” 

“So I um who’s the person you’re in love with?” 

“You” Why did you just admit that god damn it now he’s goin-

He kisses you. The kind of kiss that’s full of love and passion the kind that takes the wind out of you. “I’m in love with you too”. His voice is raspy before you can speak he’s talking again “will you go on a date with me?” You can’t vocalise your reply so you nod enthusiastically.

Tony finds you both the next morning curled up asleep on the couch, covering the two of you with a blanket he had in his hand he can’t help the smile on his face. 

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou]

Take It

What A Sad Sight (Part 1) Her (Part 2)

> larissa weems x fem!reader

> requested? kinda

> content/warnings: angst then idk fluff? L being a walking red pole, mentions of violent thoughts (if u squint), and andy 😭 oh ANDYYY

> a/n: this is the first time i have made a fanfic with three parts 🥹 i had If You Love Her on repeat for like an hour for this

“Principal Weems? There's someone here for you.”

Larissa almost snapped her neck as she looked up towards the door. This is it. Maybe this was you. Maybe this was the part where you talk to her and you both make up.

“Send them in. Thank you.” Larissa told her assistant whilst dusting off invisible dust from her dress. God was she nervous.

Larissa waited until the visitor opened the door to her office, but alas she was disappointed. It was Marilyn that wanted to talk to her. About renovations for the greenhouse. Truth be told, Larissa didn't care. Marilyn could do anything to the greenhouse, though her decisions did need Larissa's approval, which she could do by email.

As Marilyn left, Larissa sighed and stretched her neck. It's been weeks since she began to drown herself in work. Albeit she didn't need to, she wanted to. She made sure to do anything, though unnecessary, to forget about what she did. She felt angry at herself. But she can't change what she did. And truthfully, she didn't want to. If she could talk to you, she can explain everything.

A knock snapped her out of her reverie. “Principal Weems? There's someone here for you. Her name's Andy.”

Andy? She didn't know any Andy's in her life. Though this must be the new board member that needed to talk to her. Ah yes, she was going to schedule a meeting later but it seems the board is one step ahead of her.

“Let them in, please. Thanks.”

Within a second, the visitor opened her office door and smiled. “Have a seat! You must be the new board member!”

The visitor, Andy, nodded in gratitude and sat in front of Larissa. “Uh–” Andy cleared her throat. “I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not a part of the board.”

Larissa blinked in surprise and sat straight. ‘If Andy isn't part of the board then...’ And it clicked. Larissa's eyes widened as she looked at the unfamiliar yet familiar face in front of her. She's met Andy before, at the Weathervane, with you. Hugging you. Talking with you. Laughing with you.

Clearing her throat, Larissa pursed her lips and asked. “Then, Ms. Andy, what is your purpose here at Nevermore?”

Andy gave a chuckle at the coldness the red-lipped woman was giving her. She didn't know why, but she can guess. “Well, to start, I'm Andy. Y/N's personal assistant–” Larissa scoffed at the statement. They sure weren't acting as colleagues when she saw them at the Weathervane.

“Truly, Y/N and I are just colleagues, friends, yes, you can say that. But that's just it.” Andy explained as she watched Larissa's face. She could see the different emotions running in her mind.

“As far as I am concerned, I don't think that's the reason why you are here, yes?” Larissa questioned Andy. She didn't give a damn about any explanation coming from the brunette in front of her. She wanted to talk to you. Not your assistant.

Andy sighed, this was going to be a lot harder than she thought. “Larissa, I have been with Y/N since you turned her down.” she watched the blonde wince at her choice of words. ”And I want to tell you. Take it.” Andy got a velvet box and laid it down on the blonde's desk. “If she gives you her heart, don't you break it.”

Larissa let out a breath as she gazed at the box in front of her. Choosing to open it, she gasped at its content. The box had two rings in it, not just any rings, one was Y/N's family heirloom that she told Larissa about. And the other was a paper ring, the same ones she made for Y/N.

“Larissa, I have been hopelessly in love with Y/N the moment she crashed into me.” The blonde snapped her eyes to look at the brunette in front of her. “From the moment she spilled her coffee on my button up. From the moment I looked into her eyes–” Larissa tightened her grip on the velvet box she was holding. If this was a visit to brag to her that you and Andy are an item now, she wouldn't be capable of not doing anything crass to the brunette.

“I have been hopelessly in love with my boss, with Y/N.” Andy felt a shudder go through her. She never imagined she would confess her feelings for Y/N to Y/N's ex-girlfriend.

“And after you turned her down, I admit I was ecstatic at first, but as I saw her.” Andy bit her lip as her eyes glistened. “Larissa, she was a walking zombie. She didn't feel anything. And I know, because I can feel it.”

Larissa blinked, trying to bury the lump in her throat as she listened to Andy's confession. “I–”

Andy gave Larissa a smile and took the blonde's hand. “You don't have to explain anything to me.” She squeezed Larissa's hand. “But please, fix it. Fix her.”

---

Larissa has never been nervous like this before. She wasn't nervous when she was brought to the former principal's office to give her the mantle. She wasn't nervous when she tried to make it through the Rave'n without a date. Yet, when it came to you, everything for her became a blur. She was always nervous around you. That she would fuck up. And that she did. And now, she was nervous, more than she could imagine.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs and towards the door made her want to turn around and go back. But she made a promise to herself. As the door opened, your wide eyes were the first one noticed. How it held shock and then anger as you processed her presence in front of your house.

“Hi.” Larissa breathed.

You purse your lips and shake your head then laugh. “Fucking pills giving me hallucinations.” You tried to shut the door yet Larissa jammed her foot before it closed.

“Y/N. You are not hallucinating. Please let me in.” Larissa held the doorknob in hopes of you letting her in.

“For what? So that you can turn me down all over again?” She winced at your tone. You and Andy did have something in common, and it was straightforwardness, despite being both gay.

“Please, let me in.” She whispered, begging for you to take her in again.

With your internal armor breaking, you sighed and opened the door wide enough for her to step inside. “Sit wherever you want.” You pointed to the couches in front of you.

As she sat on the loveseat near her, you chose to sit on the armchair in front of her. The coffee table separating both of you. “Talk.”

Larissa chewed her lip and sighed. It was now or never. “I– Y/N, I am sorry. I'm sorry for turning you down. For interrupting you with a rejection. And I know anything I say to explain it will never be enough for you and for me. It won't be enough to wash the pain I've caused to you away. But please understand that I had to. I had to reject it. I am a walking red flag, Y/N. I am a people pleaser, to the point that I do not give a fuck about anything and anyone around me just to please everyone. I am self-centered, I get jealous easily, I am unstable, Y/N. I can't give that burden to you.”

The silence was too much to bear. Here she was, giving you every chance to yell at her, scream at her, cry because of her. But all you did was tilt your head.

“Who said I wanted that burden all to myself?” You asked her in a whisper as you raised your eyebrows in mockery.

Releasing a breath, you laughed at her words. “God– I–” Standing up, you put your hands on your hips and closed your eyes in exasperation.

Larissa blinked away the tears and balled her fists. If this was needed for her to be forgiven, she would take it. Take the mockery, take the laughs, take the punch of being the butt of the joke.

“–issa! Larissa!” She snapped her eyes towards you and saw you a foot away from her.

“Good, I have your attention now.” You ran your hand through your hair. “Larissa, I didn't propose to you because I wanted to be burdened by all your insecurities. I proposed to you because I wanted you to fight it with me.” You leaned towards her and wiped the tear that made its way down her face. “Larissa you are the best thing that I had, and I'll love you even if you don't love me like that.”

Cupping her face with your hands, you planted a kiss on her forehead. And that was all it took Larissa to let her tears out. Larissa became a sobbing mess in your arms.

Burying your face in her hair, you let your tears out and embraced her tightly. “Gods, I've missed this.”

Pulling away gently, Larissa cupped your face in her hands. “I'm sorry. I love you, not because you love me like that, but because I love you.” She whispered. Afraid that any noise would break you apart. That she would wake up and realize that this was all a dream.

Giving a watery smile, you replied. “It's done now, my love.” You leaned into her and brushed your lips with hers.

[vroomvroommbtch]

Car’s outside - DR x fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: They hated the distance more than anything in the world, so they finally get to do something about it. 

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x fem!OC

Warnings:  Fluff af and language bc idk how to write without swearing.

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: Did I spend my whole Saturday writing this? Yes. Was ROC an inspiration somehow? Maybe. I’m obsessed with writing 2018 Dan and Jas? Absolutely. The fact that I finished this is a miracle?? Yes sir. Anyway, hi kids! This one its kind of short but cute af so I hope you like it. I love this two together bc they’re the most wholesome couple in the world. Whatever, hope u like it and let’s pray I get to post again soon lol Let me know what you think?? See ya soon!  ♥️✌🏻

---

Car’s outside.

-

July 2018.

London was gloomy. It was yet another grey day waiting for the rain to fall at any given time, but Jas knew what made it even more grey and sad was Daniel’s bags right by the door, waiting for him to grab them and leave. He was going to leave the next morning because he needed to be in Germany for yet another race, which meant just being able to see him through the screen of her phone. It meant no kissing, no touching, no hugging and just thinking about it made Jas feel uneasy.

After almost one month of blissful kind of domestic life, letting each other go for two weeks sounded insane. Damn, it wasn’t even two whole weeks because she was gonna be in Hungary for the last race of the first part of the calendar. She was gonna be there by his side ready to go on vacations with Daniel as soon as his job was done, but it felt awful even if they were going to be two hours' flight from each other. Two hours flight and nine days apart and she was gonna be back in his arms. Nine pathetic long days to be back in her favorite place in the world. To think about that was what made it bearable.

After six months of relationship, Jas was still not used to letting him go. None of them were used to letting each other go. Even if Daniel was used to not spending much time with his family and friends, he was always telling Jas how difficult it was for him too. ‘I just fucking hate letting you go’ was what he said time after time as they covered each other in kisses. There was no better way to describe it, that’s why during that grey night Jas hugged him a bit tighter, trying to not wake him up in the process. His idea of watching a movie turned into Daniel falling asleep half an hour into whatever random movie he picked up. Then that turned into Jas ignoring the movie and putting her focus on her boyfriend. His face was hiding in the crock of her neck, slow breaths hitting her skin and messy curls tickling her. Even when it was the middle of the goddamn summer and outside it was warm and humid, all she wanted was to stay like that forever, with Daniel using her as his pillow. All she wanted was to make the night longer so Tuesday wouldn’t come.

They both knew how things were and that at some point they always had to say goodbye, but this time was especially hard. Everything was a rollercoaster since Monaco. After their love confession that Sunday everything clearly was different. After that day everything was somehow way more intense, that included the sadness of flying back home to Dublin when Daniel had to go to Canada. She hated it. She hated having to kiss him goodbye and the ‘See you again soon’ promise. She hated those long farewell hugs knowing she couldn’t stay there forever. She hated the feeling inside her chest because her whole body was yelling for her to drop everything and stay. After all, that was the right thing to do. But she had to ignore it, take a deep breath, push the knot in her throat to a side all to whisper a shy ‘I love you’ with a sad smile on her face.

But his week in Canada felt somehow short. The nights were terrible and felt eternal, but the afternoons weren’t that bad and the next thing she knew Jas was on her way to the airport to pick Daniel up. After that, they didn’t move from each other’s side. They went from Dublin to France, not just for the race but also to spend her birthday there. After that they went to Austria and thank God she was there not only for his birthday but also to do everything in her power to calm him down after that terrible DNF on Sunday. After that, they went to the UK and that’s where they had been since then.

It was weeks of waking up and going to bed by his side. It was weeks of not being able to bathe alone because Daniel would sneak in the shower with her every single time. It was weeks of waking up with Daniel between her legs or covering her body with kisses and doing the same for him. It was weeks of giggling as they reminded each other to not be so loud because they were in a hotel room, and someone would complain about the noise. Then it was days of almost a normal life in London. It was days of doing the most normal things a couple could do. It was days of making dinner, grocery shopping, getting a text from Daniel saying ‘I’m on my way home’ and knowing he was not talking about a place but about her. It was weeks of being home simply because they were together, not caring about the country they were in.

After all that she didn’t want to move from his side, but she needed to go back home, and Daniel needed to go to Germany, but all that could wait till the next day. She even wanted to leave dinner for a bit later if that included not moving from her place. They were perfectly fitted together on the couch, and she was so comfortable that moving felt like a tragedy. Moving from there left wrong, but she didn’t have much of an option. All she could do was wish time would freeze for a while, but it was nothing but impossible.

“Baby...” Jas called him as softly as possible, running her fingers around his back under his shirt and tangling her other hand in his messy curls. But just like she imagined, all she got in response was a soft groan coming from her boyfriend, which didn’t surprise her at all. “Danny, baby, c'mon, you gotta get up. I gotta go make dinner” she insisted as she kissed his forehead.

If something always worked with sleepy Daniel was the threat of Jas leaving his side. She couldn’t blame him because every time she would do the same. Every time one of them would be asleep, if the other threatened with leaving, they would automatically react. This time wasn’t different. This time, with the threat of Jas leaving his side, Daniel tightened his grip around her waist, making his statement very clear. “Don’t” was all he said, voice so sleepy and raspy that it did nothing but give Jas another reason to stay.

“Can you look at me, sunshine?” Jas asked gently, kissing his forehead once more. And true to his promise of making all her wishes come true, Daniel looked at her. With the sleepiest face and through half-opened eyelids, Daniel moved out of his little shelter and looked at her. And fuck, how she loved him and his handsome face. She could spend hours just looking at him and kissing every inch of his face. She could stay there the whole night kissing those perfect lips and looking at his brown eyes. All that and his contiguous smile and his crazy curls and that tanned skin were her perdition, so she had to do a big effort to focus and talk again. “Dia duit, grà“

“I’ve no idea what the fuck you just said but it sounded sexy” Daniel murmured, running his nose against hers as he slowly moved one of his hands to her ass, just to rest it here as he would normally do.

And like every single time, Jas would smile and steal one kiss as she moved impossibly close to him because it was never enough when it comes to being near Daniel. “Weren't’ you asleep?” she wondered as his fingers slowly moved around her skin. Not that she couldn’t blame him when she was wearing nothing but panties and one of his shirts.  

“Yeah, but my sexy girlfriend woke me up” he smirked, knocking the air out of her lungs like every time he did that. Daniel’s smile could convince her of absolutely everything, so she could imagine how that night was gonna end.

“Excuse me, you're the one who abandoned me in the middle of the movie. You’re very lucky you’re handsome and I love you very much” Jas joked, poking his ribs as she tried to sound as serious as possible. She was the one who normally would fall asleep in his arms so she would never blame him for such a thing. Nothing would make her feel better than to know that Daniel could get some rest from to time after such a complicated year, so he could sleep all she wanted. The only problem was when she wouldn’t be able to leave the couch without waking him up because he decided to turn into a human version of a koala.

“Sorry ‘bout that, princess” he murmured, moving his fingers through the elastic of her panties as he kissed his way back to her neck. “I can pay you back for the inconvenient”

It took everything from her to not follow his lead. It took everything to not beg Daniel to fuck her right then and there on the couch as they would normally do. It took even more of her to ignore the way he was getting hard against her leg and especially to not move her hip against him. There was  nothing she wanted more than to ride him until the only thing Daniel could remember was her name, but she had to be a grown-up woman and be responsible. She needed to be a grown-up woman even when Daniel was doing his best effort to change her mind with kisses, some gentle bites, and licks on her skin while grabbing handfuls of her ass.

“Later. Now I got shit to do, beauty. Gotta go make dinner” she breathed, biting her tongue as she kept to herself the moan that was threatening to leave her mouth when Daniel kissed the weak spot on her neck.  

“Later”. Another bite, another lick, another kiss, another push of their hips together.

It was terribly hard to resist.

“C’mon, sunshine, I gotta feed you. Mike ain’t here to do the dirty job and if I don’t put food in your body, he’ll kill me, and you’ll get hungry and grumpy” Jas insisted, moving her free hand from his back to his chest to rest it there. Having her hand under his shirt wasn’t going to help much to the situation, but she just couldn’t help it.

“We can order. Besides, you’re the one who gets grumpy when you’re hungry”  

He knew her well. He knew her too damn well. Six months together and Daniel already knew her like the back of his hand. He knew she would get grumpy if she was hungry, he knew how to put a smile on her face even on the worse days, the way to make her fall asleep when it seemed impossible, how to make her moan as any other man could ever do, how to convince her to stop being mad at him even when she could never really get mad at him. Daniel knew all the weak points on her body to make her beg for more and to leave her breathless. But beyond all, Daniel could make her smile brighter and bigger than anyone in the whole world. He knew the way to her heart better than anyone else in the world and that’s why it belonged to him.

But Jas knew Daniel as well as he knew her, that’s why she couldn’t help but smile when he said those words. “You’re the one who complains every time we order something! You’re the one who says my food's better”

“Cause your food’s always better” he affirmed, and Jas could feel his smile against her skin. No matter where they ordered, no matter to which amazing restaurant they went, Daniel would always somehow smile and say ‘It was alright, but I like your food better’. Jas would always joke and say there was no need to lie to her to get laid that night, but she knew Daniel wasn’t joking. Jas was no chef, she was far from that, but unlike her sister, Jas paid attention to the kitchen lessons Aoife and Esmé gave her during her life. What she did was nothing but basic meals, but Daniel said time after time that he loved it. It took a late-night talk over a couple of glasses of wine for Daniel to admit he loved it simply because it tasted like home. After leaving home so young, after being away from Perth for so much time, and especially after being on the road that much, homemade food was something that he could have counted times, so having that thanks to Jas were like a little privilege for him. That’s why Jas tried to cook as much as possible for him when they were together, even when she was too lazy and order sounded like the best option.

“Then let me go and make you some. It’ll be fast. You can keep napping meanwhile. Plus, I ain’t gonna put on my shorts so you can look at my ass while I go” Jas insisted. But when she felt Daniel’s arms going back to her waist to hug her as tightly as possible, and when his lips just gave her one last kiss and then stayed there, she knew there was something else. “What’s going on, baby?”

It took him a second to talk. She could feel his body against her taking a deep breath, she could feel his breath hitting her neck as it left his lips, but more than anything she could feel the doubt in his body. It was hard to think he was the same guy who drove the fastest car in the world. It was crazy to think he was the one who loved to get scared once in a while just because. But Jas knew that guy was also her Danny. Sometimes it was incomprehensible to think that man on the tv was the same man she loved. He was the same Danny that would come to her in the good days and when the world felt too much and when he didn’t want to see anyone else. That was the same Daniel that Jas could feel was doubting and trying to pick the right words to say to his girlfriend. And knowing him the way she did, Jas just waited. She kissed his shoulder, traced lines on his back, and played with his curls as she waited for him to find the right way to say whatever he needed to say. If he needed time, she had all the time in the world for him. And if that wasn’t enough, she was ready to somehow invent more time for him.

“I just don’t want you to go. Not even to the kitchen for five minutes”

There was the issue.

It happened once in a while. Normally, it happened every time they had to let each other go. They knew it was a normal reaction knowing they will have to be away for more time than they will like to. Normally it was Jas the one who had to be reminded that everything was gonna be alright. Generally, it was Daniel the one who had to hold her and promise things were gonna be fine, but sometimes it was the other way around. Sometimes, like that night, Jas was the one who had to be the strong one and make the promises even when her own heart was breaking just for hearing him.

“Baby, we talked about it. Now it's just nine silly days, but then we’ll figure out the rest after the summer break. Y’know I’m not going anywhere” she stated, repeating the same promise they also made at least once a week. Their little ‘I’m not going anywhere’ was something normal. It was a reminder. It was their promise to each other. It was one of the things that kept them going on the worst days.

“I know” Daniel nodded, kissing her one last time her neck as he moved to his previous place, finally looking at her face. “I just wish you could come with me”

“I don’t want you to go but it’s work, love. It's your job”

“I know that too, J, but I miss you. And it’s selfish but I want you around. I need you around, princess” he confessed, moving his right hand out of her waist to look for her hand.

“I miss you too, you hear me? I miss you every single day that you’re not around. It sucks when we’re not together” she murmured, getting close to giving him a long, sweet, loving kiss. But even when their kiss was over, Jas didn’t move. She stayed right there in her place with their lips touching. “I love you so fucking much that it kills me when you’re away. I spend the days counting the minutes till I can see your handsome face again, y’know? That’s how crazy I am for you”

“Then come with me, baby. And not just the next two races, come with me the rest of the year, baby”. They talked about it too. They talked about Jas joining him, but somehow, they ended up agreeing on talking about it at some point in the future. The excuse was them wanting to go slow and how she was supposed to be helping in Aoife’s flower shop until Jas figure out what she wanted to do next, but truth was, she was nothing but scared. She was so in love with Daniel that it was terrifying and the fact that Daniel was in love with her was also scary. So far that one was the most wonderful relationship she ever had so she was terrified of ruining it by going with him to every single race. The idea of ruining it in any way just petrified her, but she knew she couldn’t keep postponing their happiness out of fear. She couldn’t do it when Daniel needed her. The emotional rollercoaster of leaving Redbull was coming, and Daniel needed his people around him, which included Jas in one of the first positions. She couldn’t postpone it when she needed him too. “I know what you think and you’re not gonna be a burden, J. You could never be one”

That was also one of the things that were stopping Jas. Joining Daniel mean leaving her job -even if it was with her mom and if it was temporary-, and it also mean depending on him until she could find a job that would allow her to travel. She knew money wasn’t a problem, Daniel was the one paying for her plane tickets, and he would give her a look if she would ever try paying for anything, but she didn’t want to be that kind of girl. She didn’t want people to think she was there for the money, she didn’t want his family and friends to think she was there for it. She didn’t even touch the extension of his card he gave her weeks ago, too scared to give that step. She didn’t want to be a burden in his life when he had already too many things on his mind, so she just gave excuses, but clearly, that was the end of it.

“Danny, I-“ she tried to interrupt, but he cut her with another kiss before he kept talking.

“We can talk about that later, but it’s not important” he insisted, bringing their joined hands together to his lips to kiss her knuckles. “I need you by my side, baby. This year’s been fucking crazy and I don’t think I’m ready to live the rest of it without you. And I know I’m asking for a lot, but can you at least think about it?”

Everyone told her to go slow. Everyone told her to take a deep breath and a firm step on her decision when it came to her relationship with Daniel. It wasn’t that her family or friends didn’t like Daniel, in fact, they adore him, but they also knew Jas. They could see how everything was going fast and the last thing anyone wanted was to see her getting hurt. Not that they thought Daniel would do something to hurt her, but the nature of their relationship was complicated. Distance was hard, his job was complicated and what came with it was even more tricky, so the advice everyone would give her was to think about her choices and not jump into it. That would be the advice she would give to her friend or her sister, but everything was out of the window when it came to Daniel. In the heart vs heart fight, her heart would always win and this time it wasn’t different. This time she could even hear her family and friends asking what the hell was she doing, saying how she was insane, and even checking twice if she was sure about her choice. She could hear her mom and dad talking and telling her to not put her life aside for him, but the second she saw Daniel’s eyes everything else disappeared.

There was nothing else besides his big brown eyes looking at her, shining full of love. There was nothing like their joined hands against his chest and how she could feel his heart beating. There was nothing as the expectation written all over his face as he waited for her answer. But beyond all, there was nothing like the way he made her feel. There was nothing as the love, happiness, and safety she felt by his side, so even if everything could go terribly wrong, she decided to take a leap of faith, hoping everything would turn out just fine.

“Alright, I’m coming. But you paying everything’s temporary, you hear me? I don’t want you to-“. But before Jas could even finish what she was saying, she got interrupted again by Daniel’s lips against her. But this time it wasn’t just him kissing her mouth, this time it was kissing all around her face and neck, all while he whispered ‘Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!’ again and again and again. “You’re welcome, but I’m serious, Dan!”

“Money is something that comes with the job and since I earned it I can spend it on whatever I want, alright? That includes bringing my girl with me. There’s no better what to spend it” he smiled, giving Jas his best smile, which normally would convince her of anything on a normal day.

And maybe another day he could convince her, but that night she wasn’t giving up, so she pointed to him with one finger as she talked firmly. “Temporary, okay?”

“Whatever makes you happy, babe” he nodded, kissing her fingertip as he kept smiling.

If he was happy then it was worth the pain.

“That’s what I like to hear. Now as a payback, you can start ordering food and taking your clothes off” she teased, but like every time, for Daniel her wishes were his command.

And if Daniel was happy, Jas was happy too, so it was more than worth the pain.    

---

Taglist

@amsofftrack​ @d0ntjudgemy50shades​ @a-distantdreamer​ @honeybadgercomeback​

[l-starlight-l]

The love of a Hero

An Old Friend

Previous: Part1, Part2, Part3, Part4

A/n: here’s a new story for ya! This time with the star Dick Grayson!!!!

Warning: Fight, Wounds

Description: You catch up with an old friend in the city over dinner and cookies.

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader

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This was the first time you had lived in the city alone but not the first time living in Gotham. A long time ago, you had run away from home. You were an angry teenager and needed to find comfort somewhere other than your home. Some close friends, basically your second family, lived in the city. You stayed with them for little over a year, it took awhile to convince them to let you stay but they did. It was one of the happiest times of your childhood, you belonged with these people. Of course that didn’t last forever and you left, or more so was taken from them.

As you hurried to clocked out from your night shift your pocket buzzed. Dick was calling your phone, you held the phone to your ear. “What’s up” you greeted him.

“You free?” He sounds like he’s moving around.

“Yeah I just got off work” you answered honestly

“I’m about to finish up a job, do you wanna hang out after?” He asked feeling a little guilty about not seeing you sooner.

“Oh have you finally made time for me” you say a tiny bit annoyed because he’s been blowing you off since you’ve moved.

“Hey come o-“ there’s a loud grunt and a slam through the phone. “Oh that one hurt” he whinces

You laugh softly, “I’ll make you dinner, stop by my place when your done” you reply with a smile.

“You’d make such a good wife” he jokes and you roll your eyes

“In your dreams, boy wonder” you press the red “end call” button and hurry home.

An hour later there’s a knock on you window. You jump not expecting it, turning to face the window you see dick all beat up waving at you like an idiot. You unlock the window and let him in. “Took you long enough” you mutter hands on your hips. He starts walking into the kitchen, “I made your favorite”.

Dick makes a dramatic stop and takes in a big whiff of the air, “cookies!” He exclaims like a child. You laugh to yourself, he hasn’t changed in the years you’ve been gone.

“I just put them in there so it’ll be awhile” you say reaching for your first aid kit, “let me clean you up, I have some of your old clothes but idk if they’ll still fit it’s been a long time since I saw you” he’s definitely grown in the years you’ve been gone. You look him up and down, you can tell that his new “job” has done wonders for his body. You’re face heats up, he is friend, just my friend. You quickly turn and go grab his clothes.

You two eat and catch up, it’s been a long time since you’ve seen each other in person. The last few years have been filled with texts and long phone calls. It felt good to be in each others presence again. He’s been your best friend since diapers and knows everything about you.

“How’s your new job treating you” he asks in between shoving his mouth.

“I’ve only been there two weeks but I’m really enjoying it” you smile to yourself thinking about your new job. “How’s being a vigilante” you say with a raised brow.

He smiles, “it has its ups and downs, as you know” you give him a look and he quickly changes the topic. “So how’d you get Alfred to give you his cookie recipe” he smirks.

You laugh and roll your eyes. “That recipe is between me and him, you never gonna get” you both laugh. You don’t get to spend as much time with him as you wanted. He gets called back into “the field” pretty earlier into the night. You hug goodbye and he descends back out the window.

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Tag list: @princessbl0ss0m @mxtokko

[never-ending-fanfic]

Obligatory Kallus ofc 🖤 but if you already have an ask about him or want something more: Kanan and/or Rex?

Oh you're the first one to request Kallus so let's go!

One aspect about them I love: I love and respect that even though he was in the Empire for a long time and actually believed in its cause and that it was helping the Galaxy (not like probably some of the others who joined to gain influence, money or power) he was still capable of changing, he didn't ignore the new facts and point of view presented to him by Zeb (and I imagine ignoring it would be very easy), instead he took steps to actually ask questions, find out the truth and eventually had enough courage to defect (my baby's character development is something that can be so personal...)

One aspect I wish more people understood about them: No idea actually

One (or more) headcanon(s) I have about this character: BUCKLE UP IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE!

He grew up in the Underworld, probably surrounded by many immigrant families, so he grew up in a diverse environment and knows a couple of languages besides Basic (btw he taught himself that posh Coruscanti accent in the Academy)

He would probably have a good alcohol tolerance (an Eastern European one, you know)

He used to be super self conscious about his freckles, many said it made him look childlish and unprofessional, but Zeb loves them and thinks they're absolutely adorable

He loves to stargaze, since he couldn't do that in the Underworld as a kid (bonus points if he's always amazed by plants and forests and nature for that exact reason)

He has scars after Onderon (like on his chest, back and arms) and is very self conscious about them

He cannot, for the love of his life, take a compliment

He's got very pretty penmanship

One character I love seeing them interact with: Zeb of course, duh! They are my sweethearts and I love them and not only because it's an obvious ship, I genuinely love their interactions. I adore The Honourable Ones and the way they were able to find the way to relate to each other despite being on two different sides of the war and that Zeb was the one who opened Kallus' eyes (and also shoutout to that small part of part 2 of Zero Hour, where they get the coordinates from Kallus' escape pod and Zeb just looks so scared and concerned for his man, like yes!)

One character I wish they would interact with/interact with more: I would honestly love to see him and Sabine become besties, they have the potential, both being defectors from the Empire, I love the concept of them growing closer and becoming friends and bonding over stuff like gossiping about old Imperial bosses. I also feel like these two would be the ones who cook best out of the crew so maybe like, kitchen gossip sessions over making dinner? Idk, I love it (oh and btw he totally lets Sabine paint his nails when she's bored)

One (or more) headcanon(s) I have that involve them and one other character:

As above, I think Kallus can cook quite decent meals, he just never had the time and so when he's in the Rebellion, Sabine encourages him to cook meals with her and he rediscovers that passion (and is later able to enjoy it fully on Lira San)

I feel like all droids love him and he's the only one besides Hera, who Chopper actually respects and wouldn't mess with (also because Kallus is nice to Chopper and he loves to be cherished, my little war criminal)

He's an orphan from the Coruscanti Underworld and had to fight his way to the surface and to the Imperial Academy and later off planet and his backstory is something he bonds over with Ezra (bonus points if they exchange tips on pickpocketing and shoplifting, since they both used to do that to survive)

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Another Vent Fic methinks

It was going to be accompanied by some art but it won't let me post if it has art, so I'll post it separately.

tws: overdosing, s//cide, self hate, suicidal thoughts, mentions of periods, and small talk of religion, as well as mentions of COVID. and throwing up. As well as the situations with a certain b named person, and animal death(no animals died its just referring to a fear), parents fighting, abandonment issues, self harm mentions, and idk what else to warn yall for.

Uhh yeah look at the tws. They were put in bold so you would see them. There's a lot so I probably won't be able to tag them all. Tell me what tws to add and I will add them.

Because I thinking about the event from my perspective causes me to become ✨ pathetic✨(by that I mean physically gag and curl up and whine), I am going to write about it from my sona's perspective. I am not completely my sona, because I am Mika and my sona is Happie. Named that because I want to happy, she's carried that name ever since I got into Splatoon (about the end of 2020)

It will talk about what I went through in may-june of 2020, and how this all is now affecting me. It will also make references to things that I do believe are at fault for my depression and anxiety.

Also, note: the first part of the story took place before my mom became a teacher.

So, yeah, look at the tws.

The family was only a few hours into their trip when it went bad, horribly bad.

Happie rubbed the tears in her eyes, her knees to her chest. 

Her brother was yelling at her again. She could barely hear his words through her own gasps, her own hyperventilation, her own sobbing.

She was a pathetic mess. She hated herself. She had just recently gotten out of the inpatient unit, but it didn't help. She still wanted to die, she still hated herself. 

Her parents insisted on doing prayer and reading the bible, all whilst she was trembling and whimpering and choking on her own tears. Happie was scared of the church. She had panic attacks whenever her parents forced her to go. She clawed at the wall and sobbed and hyperventilated and tried to get smaller and smaller so her mom couldn't hug her and say "it will be alright. The church will help all your bad emotions go away."

Even though everyone at church scared her. She didn't want to go there and be judged. Everyone seemed to bear their eyes towards her for not looking like a proper lady, for having short and messy hair and eyebags.

She was always told she would go to hell if she broke any of the commandments. Happie grew a fear of doing anything wrong. It meant she would go to hell.

Her grandma's passing was her fault, she had done too much wrong and now everyone was being punished because of her.

She didn't like thinking about that. She tried to snap back to the present. But the verses were still being read. Happie knew that prayer would come soon.

Her brother said the prayer. It was quick and basic.

She said she would sleep in the living room. She didn't want to be sleeping in the same room as her brother. He would just yell at her again. She didn't like yelling.

Happie waited for everyone else to leave, looking at her notebook and pencils. Her plan had been come up with pretty quickly, but she knew it would likely work.

She began by writing a note.

She admitted she had been dating one of her classmates before COVID hit. Not even one of her male classmates- a female.

She admitted that she hated going to church, that she hated the bible and she hated scripture study.

She admitted that the inpatient unit didn't work.

And then she placed it on the table.

And went to the room she and her brother shared and grabbed a bottle.

It was a bottle of midol. It originally had 50 pills in it, but she had taken one earlier in the day to help with her period cramps.

Happie went back out to the living room, grabbing a can of rootbeer and cracking it open. She then opened the medicine bottle.

She began by taking two pills at a time. Then three. Then four. When the can of rootbeer was empty, Happie got herself a cup of water.

Five, six, seven pills at a time.

Swallowing 49 pills until the bottle was empty. 

The white bottle with a blue label, round at the edges and holding a child proof circle as it's lid.

Only then did she realize, she didn't want to die. She was scared. 

She ran to her and her brother's room, begging him for the phone they shared. A flip phone.

He got mad and asked why. Happie could only tell him to read the note on the table. She told him that she didn't want their parents to know, that she just wanted to call for an ambulance.

He told their parents. Happie's sad told her to make herself throw up or else they would take her to the ER. She didnt know how to make herself throw up.

Her parents got her in the car, quickly rushing her to the nearest hospital. She was put into the emergency room.

A bunch of wires were attached to her, and there was an IV in her arm.

A nurse came in with something that looked like a toothpaste tube, and squeezed the dark gray contents inside a small foam cup. The nurse then put a straw into it and gave it to Happie. "Drink it," the nurse instructed, "it's liquid charcoal and will clean your system of the medicine."

Happie gave it a reluctant sip and immediately pulled away. It was bitter, dry, salty, and it made her gag.

She gave a few more sips but not enough to finish the cup.

"Drink it all now or else we'll put a tube down your throat and pour it down." The nurse threatened.

Happie was terrified, so she drank. While she did so, the blood in her arm was drawn once again.

Her mom was in a chair in the infirmary, and it was the first time in Happie's life that her mother gave full attention and worry to her. More often than not, her mother was more worried about work, and paid more attention to TV shows. 

How odd. Her mom only seemed to care whenever Happie's life was on the line. But was it because, if Happie died, her parents couldn't continue to play "perfect Christian family"?

She had gotten to the hospital at about 11pm, and now it was 6am. 

The doctors originally thought she would be able to go home with her parents, but the spike in her Tylenol levels that had just showed up made them call an ambulance to drive her to a hospital in her home state.

She threw up a few times in the ambulance ride, and each time it was gray in color.

Her IV was still with her, but her mother wasn't. Her mother was driving home with her father and brother.

She didn't have a stuffed animal or a familiar blanket, she was alone.

 When she arrived, they carried her on a stretcher to the mother's ward. All wards except inpatient were clogged up because of COVID.

She stayed in that ward for about 4 days, occasionally getting visits. One from her grandma, one from her dad, but the majority came from her mom. Her mom visited almost daily.

Happie couldn't tell if it was from actual care or if it was so that she'd look good to her family and the hospital staff and the church.

After her stay in the mother's ward was up, she was moved to in inpatient ward- the one for 17 and under people. 

The room she was given has sanded windows, so she couldn't look outside. The bed was more like a gym mat, and the desk was small. The door to the bathroom had big gaps at the top and bottom. And the bookshelf was completely empty.

She could only call her parents, they weren't allowed to visit.

She felt trapped. She made friends and wasn't allowed to keep them- it felt like they were abandoning her whenever they were able to leave. She didn't like being abandoned.

By the end of June, she hadn't harmed herself of even thought about ending her life. That was nice.

-

She had lost a friend, but she was happy. Just like her name.

Happie's so-called friend wasn't a good person. That much she knew. She was terrified of this friend. 

She had mutual friends with this friend, and she was worried that this friend would begin spreading lies about her if she said anything against what she was told.

Happie worked hard to become likeable enough to make these friends. Making friends has always been hard for her. They always ended up hurting her or abandoning her.

So she made as many as she could to make sure she wouldn't be left in the dirt once one friend grew tired of her.

When Happie finally realized how bad of a person this friend was, it destroyed her. She told only one of their mutual friends, and then three friends who didn't exactly know who this person was.

Then another mutual friend told Happie that this person had turned on her and went back on their word. 

Her trust had fallen on crashed like a Jenga tower. She shouldn't have trusted a new friend so quickly, but she did. And it hurt.

The following weeks hurt. She began to attempt to investigate. She was given the user of someone who this person had hurt, and decided to interview them. Then she read through two Twitter threads. Then she contacted someone else that this person had lied about.

She made the posts. Finally speaking up. 

She was terrified of her friends yelling at her and telling her that she was being petty and abandoning her. She had prepared herself for that.

She didn't prepare herself for the oncoming wave of support she received. For people to DM her and tell her their stories. 

But that didn't mean it didn't still hurt. She beat herself up and called herself names, she had a hard time sleeping because she could be doxxed.

She had a hard time sleeping because she was worried that the person would somehow show up at her house and kill her dogs.

Happie hated herself. She hated the people on her side who has told Brady to off themselves. She hated the people who seemed to ignore her until she needed something. 

She tried to show that she could be confronted if something rubbed someone the wrong way, but she was terrified of that too.

Mentally, she was still a pathetic little girl, hugging a white and gray blanket close and sobbing as she listened to her parents yelling and screaming at eachother. She was still a little girl who didn't ever get love shown to her with packed lunches with little notes, or thought out birthday gifts, or nightly hugs.

She was only hugged when her parents were upset and needed comfort.

She was still just a little girl playing with friends to avoid home, to avoid the screaming and the yelling and the crying. Still just a little preschool girl who played with her oldest sister's friend's puppies whenever she could.

Still just a little girl who read a series about cats fighting so she could be buried in a world where the good guys always win, and the cats in the sky would still communicate with the living through whatever.

Still just a little girl who wanted to believe happily ever after could exist.

But she was still the same little girl who started developing boobs in third grade, who got her first period the summer before fifth. The same little girl who learned what sex was in fourth, the same little girl who had cut herself in sixth.

She was the little girl who had matured early, physically and mentally, and never got to hold onto childish joy for long. The little girl who would tell her mom to go to her room to calm down, and her brother to go to his room to calm down. The same little girl who had been through four therapists by seventh grade.

Actually, no matter how much Happie wishes, she isn't a little girl anymore. She never will be a little girl again.

[krystaldeath]

Hmm…how about the Traffic Light Trio having a sleep over? Like, what would they do, who’s house would they stay in and how would the parents feel about it (depending on where they are of course)?

I’m gonna assume this was meant for my BBU au and if it wasn’t I hope you don’t mind I’m going with that (Also this got… way longer than it shouldve so I’m gonna put it under a read more)

I imagine Mei and Red had sleepovers with just the two of them growing up, usually at Red’s place bc Mei’s parents didn’t want two children running around their priceless artifacts and such. When MK joins its especially not happening at Mei’s place, and since I don’t think MK, Pigsy & Tang have a very big living space (probably an apartment that just barely fits the three of them), they’d probably still be at Red’s.

Mei’s parents don’t exactly care much about what happens since they’re not gonna be there, but they do give Mei tons of rules and give her lectures on how to act when she’s staying over at a non-family members house (which she only half listens to).

PIF, while a bit wary of Mei (her great xhowever many times it’s takes to be correct grandfather was friends to the guy who imprisoned her husband, and while that’s a rather remote connection, still stings a bit) at first, and then MK later on, the two grow on her and so she’s happy to host them. It also gives her the opportunity to tell embarrassing baby stories about Red to his two closest friends!

Pigsy is always nervous about letting his boy be out of his sight and being unable to immediately check on him, but Tang soothes his worries. Their son may be a tad but reckless at times, but he can handle himself! He’s got two dependable friends with him as well! And that mom of Red’s would never let any harm come to any children in her presence (supposedly) so there’s really nothing to worry about! (MK doesn’t get to have any sleepovers for a while after the day he came home with a choppy new haircut courtesy of Mei, and then Red who insisted they could fix it/make it better)

As for what they’d do, probably play a ton of video games! MK would want to watch Monkey Cop and other such Monkey King franchises, but since they normally have sleepovers at Red’s… yeah that’s not happening. It’s okay though they just watch a Power Rangers-like show (that ends up having a arc based off of JTTW that they almost break the tv trying to hide from PIF; she knows and feels conflicted about it, though if she leaves the room quickly so the kids can fully enjoy themselves, no one would have to know).

Bonus: When they get closer to Bai He they have her join them too (which terrifies her monkey dads bc 1. She’s only ever been out of their reach for 9 hours tops before and 2. It’s gonna be at PIF’s place and she is BOUND to figure something out). When Wukong (Macaque had to do something idk maybe he has a job) comes by in a human disguise to pick her up the next morning, PIF gives him a knowing look, then tells the teens to watch the girl as she has a “private talk” with him and has him walk with her through the house. He’s terrified she’s gonna try and fight him and that it’ll somehow get the kids caught up in the crossfire and that he’ll have to reveal he’s the Monkey King and have Bai He never interact with any of them again, but instead the unthinkable happens. She tells him she doesn’t hate him, not anymore. She figured it was the right thing to do, DBK was terrorizing citizens and he is expected to protect mankind; it also couldn’t have been an easy decision for him, considering he and her husband once considered each other brothers. Plus, holding a grudge for centuries can be rather exhausting when you’re a single mother. So, until she finds some way to free her love, they will have a truce. ———— Help the “Bonus” is longer than the actual answers so sorry lol

[hshouse]

Umm so I think we might be going into the same field but like i just started grad school a month ago and I'm struggling so fcking hard keeping up with all the work (my adhd meds are NOT doing the job i need them to be doing) and socially i have not clicked with ANYONE and I feel so intimidated and isolated and I know I stick out not talking to anyone bc EVERYONE in my section is always talking to someone and people have already started forming groups and made friends but I just dont know how to I guess??? Idk but I feel like im 8 years old again with no friends which is a bizarre fucking feeling to have at 23. But like its BAD and I can't even speak up in the classes that don't cold call and ask for volunteers even though I want to do well so badly bc I feel so fucking small amongst all these people. I just kind of completely shut down as soon as I walked into the first day of orientation and haven't recovered from that.

And like I'm so fucking scared to start working bc even though i took two years off from undergrad I'm so burnt out already and jumping straight into the corporate world seems terrifying for my mental health (and general health tbh) but like going into PI isn't really an option bc if I'm going to go through with this I NEED to be making money to make it worth it and I guess what I'm trying to ask is like does this shit actually get better??? bc I'm highkey spiraling and have been since I started school and I honestly don't know if I'd be better off dropping out and going back to teaching even though I'll be absolutely broke and living at home for the foreseeable future or if I should just stick it out and be able to afford to support my parents and fucking take my siblings to disneyland for the first time. Like i knew this was gonna be hard but I guess it's just hitting me actually being here how fucking miserable I am and just I dont know. Sorry for dumping all this on you 😬 I guess I'm just wondering if you have any advice? Like I'm so scared I'm not gonna make it, like I'm not cut out for this field and am just gonna get absolutely crushed by it. And like I know that on paper I'm fucking smart af and definitely deserve to be here, like I'm at a fucking ivy league rn, they wouldn't let me in if they didn't think I'd make it. I just am finding it very hard to believe that I'm actually going to have a successful career if I'm struggling this bad at the very start.

Also idk how tf you went to school in a completely different country, like MAJOR props to you bc that must have been SO fucking hard. I'm struggling with moving across the country to a state where I know absolutely no one, but at least I know one of my siblings is an hour flight away and the rest of my family/friends are an 8 hr flight away. You should be VERY proud of yourself (I'm sure you are) bc I've only been in grad school for a month and this shit is SO HARD to handle and like fuck you're almost done with it and about to start your career and that shit is fucking AMAZING and BADASS and I genuinely wish you all the fucking success in your future

Hi bby,

Oh we are definitely doing the same thing. Thank you for the wonderful compliments, I really really appreciate it. And congrats on getting in!

I’m sure you know that this is the hardest year. It also has NO no NOOO bearing on your talent for the job. First thing they tell you at the job orientation is “nothing you learned in grad school will be useful here.” Shdjsh it’s a completely different thing that is muuuuuch more enjoyable than the boring ass stuff you are learning rn. For me it felt very much like year 1 is one program and years 2&3 are a totally different thing. Once you get your job during summer 1, all bets are off lmao. You just need to finish the thing. So really the pressure is only for 1 year. So that helps with the mindset of like “I only need to get to May.” In terms of getting the job, I have to be honest: they only care about your school. I had straight Bs and got like a major one. On the first group of the rank if you know what I mean. So go into knowing that you WILL get an offer and most likely many. I always tell people that getting into the school is the last real hurdle. Now, you just ride the wave. Once you get the job you will really feel like it’s done.

About the job itself, there is genuinely no better job out there. Yes it is a shit show in terms of commitment and amount of work but it is absolutely disproportionally well compensated. Like in a bizarre way. You will not get fired (unless you like assault a person etc). So you have this job kind of for life? It’s extremely secure. Do not get intimidated by it. It’s mostly you alone on your computer lmao it’s lit. You are so close to this DO NOT drop out. It is worth it. The money will change your family’s life. It will change your life for ever. Even if you leave at one point.

You are the same age I was and I get the vibe. It’s annoying but *none of it matters*. I just treat it like its drivers ed lmao. I’m there to be able to do the thing. I don’t care about yall wihdishshs. Speaking in class is meaningless and getting it wrong is like whatever. Do you care when ppl get it wrong? I barely notice it. So I think shifting your mindset from “this is undergrad 2.0” to “this is a prep course I am in and out of here” really helped me. I felt very alone during year 1. But as soon as year 2 starts everyone gets shuffled around so that cliquey feeling goes away massively.

I hope this helps! Pls come back if you have more questions as you move through the stages. But I promise you, you are in the worst part of it. Hang in there!!!!!

[memo15g]

Flight to Vietnam (7/5-7/6) | Kalvin Nguyen (UCI)

IT'S TIIIIMMMMEEEE! Honestly, it feels so surreal that mission trip is about to begin and that we'll be in Vietnam in just a few (or actually a lot of ╥﹏╥) hours! I was so excited to be working with and getting to know so many of the fellow 15Gers during this trip and working under the same cause and goal! I was dropped off with by my family and bid them a bittersweet goodbye before being greeted by our amazing BOD members, Hayley and Kat (idk where Thu was, probably tweakin or something). With my two suitcases in hand and the large MEMO Box #41 (okay I got a cart for like $6 but same difference ┐(°‿°)┌), I entered the airport to join the rest of the 15Gers. And.... barely anyone was there yet because I arrived like an hour early for call time, so just imagine a bunch of wooos, yipees, and high-fives.

Okay, the next part is just typical airport check-in and security and kinda boring, so let's just fast forward and... yay! Got through some stellar American TSA! Anyways... we got in and I was so excited to get onto our flight at 12:45AM! I walked to the gate with so much anticipation and excitement with Calvin and Wendy. We were so close and just had to get onto the plane.... in 2 hours... (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ To calm my insanity, I went to explore the airport shops with Calvin, Cindy, and Wendy! We didn't really buy anything cause... well... we're still in America and we're broke college students, but it was fun hanging out and perusing the different stores! By the time we returned to the rest of group, we still had an hour left. To kill more time, I joined in the playing card game festivities (no gambling here though, gotta still keep everything non-profit ⊂(▀¯▀⊂ )). I lost miserably but before I even knew it, we were all getting ready to board our gate!

Above: Calvin, Cindy, Wendy, and I wearing some cool shades in a US airport store.

We finally boarded the plane safe and sound but it's pretty boring for the next 13 hours so it's time for a time skip! So quick recap of the plane ride. I'm a grown, big, strong man and sleep is for the weak, so I ended up sleeping 80% of the plane ride like a baby (•‿•). Also quick plane food review: It sustained me, and satiated my hunger. Good but could be better. 7/10

So we didn't fly directly into Vietnam, but had a layover in Taipei for 2 hours. Unfortunately, our MEMO group got split in half for this layover with the other group having a 9 hour layover. Since I was part of the shorter layover, I couldn't really go explore the Taipei airport (it was huge btw! ( 〇□〇)) or go outside to explore. I really wanted to get some boba from its place of origin, but I guess it'll have to wait. Maybe I can get it on the way back to the US (sorry to break the immersion but post-mission trip kalvin here! he didn't get his boba......╰(ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥ ╰)). To pass by the 2 hours, I played some card games with Jules, Mia, Michi, Wendy, and Avery. After playing cards the first time back at Ontario Airport, there's no way I could lose! I didn't win a single time... We were having so much fun that we didn't realize there was a group of elderly crowding around us and watching us play! It was such a fun time, but we had to board our flight to Vietnam!

Skip by 3ish hours and we finally arrived to Vietnam! The plane ride was pretty uneventful so... sorry, no ranking this time. After we made a swift transition through customs, we waited patiently for our luggage and knew that we were in Vietnam from all the duct-taped boxes on the carousel. After we managed to get all our luggage, we reunited with Joseph (my fav uci fundraising chair (〜^∇^ )〜) and hauled all of our luggage to the bus which was quite a walks away... After the ordeal that was luggage, we went to a nice lunch spot called RuNam which was pretty good or maybe I was just tired. Anyways pretty good! Would eat there again! 8/10

Above: Meeting up with Joseph at Vietnam.

Finally... after pretty much two days, we finally made it to our hotel! After such a long and grueling journey, I would be finally able to lay in a comfortable bed in an air-conditioned room! Sleep was finally on the horizon and I was ready to just fall asleep as soon as I made contact with the bed! So then... I went out with some friends to go exploring! We went to Cho Ben Thanh and Miniso to do a little shopping (i didn't buy anything though). The highlight of the excursion was when we went to this coffee shop called COMA. I got a lemongrass, orange, peach tea which was so good! 9/10 However, this place taught me to never get matcha ever in Vietnam unless you love floral tasting drinks (second immersion break: unless it is McD's omg please try the matcha there it's so good!!!! not sponsored but if you're interested McD's, please contact help@aboutmemo.org! (・ω<)). Unfortunately, Joseph and Cindy both got a Matcha Frostie and everyone universally did not like it. 3/10

I swear this is the last paragraph! Anyways, we got back to the hotel and rested up while we waited for the second group to arrive! Afterwards, we ate dinner which was primarily seafood which I usually like but this place was alright. Edible but not bad. 5/10 Finally, I got to sleep in my bed, getting all the rest to prepare me for a chaotic and unforgettable mission trip! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[tentacle-stylograph]

okay

so

hm.

well, okay. just a few bulletpoints ‘cause i want to work on homework a BIT tonight.

so.

well, first of all, i need to note that i didn’t quite do what the instructions said in the corner. i instead did " 'how important something is on the outside ring' and 'how much effort i've put toward that in the last two weeks on the inside ring,' both ranked from 1-10 with 10 being most important"

i have high expectations for myself: even if i’m doing pretty well in a category that’s important to me, i was liable to rank myself at least a BIT lower, like how i gave myself a 9 in health and a 5 in family, just one below its level of importance

continuing with the above point, i can be hard on myself. naturally that can leave me feeling disappointed in myself

i know that a good portion of the “parenting/relationships with children” category has to do with me thinking about my younger brother and my cousins, but they’re growing up, and i’ll need to start thinking about them differently, re-categorize them in the “intimate relationships,” “family,” or “friends” categories

apparently i forgot the more common definition of “intimate relationships” lol. but then that also makes sense that i get so stressed at the idea of making new friends and of letting my current friends down

I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN GIVING SCHOOL PRETTY MUCH ALL I CAN, AND I'M HAPPY THAT AT LEAST I'M BEING GENEROUS TO MYSELF IN THAT CATEGORY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS, EVEN IF THIS SEMESTER WON'T GO PERFECTLY AND I'LL PROBABLY EVEN END UP WITH SOME FAMILY ISSUES BY HOW POORLY IT OBJECTIVELY WENT, WITH FAILING A CLASS

edit like five hours later: oh, eesh. okay yep. giving "intimate relationships" the only ten... it seems i was right to worry about possibly starting codependent relationships, if i'm not already in one or two. that seems like an easy thing to fall into with such priorities.

at the same time, i'm thinking about how glad i am at the level of importance i place on my own interests and my physical and monetary boundaries. my time and emotional boundaries are--well, i almost said they're "near non-existent," but i've been doing decent at saying no to things when i don't have the time, especially ever since learning the concept of "If you can't say no, that's not respect / actual consent." l

so, i guess it'll be good to keep in mind the idea of "hey, mistakes will probably be made. maybe you WILL end up in a codependent relationship, but that doesn't mean you'll get STUCK in a codependent relationship. if you both respect each other, it's possible to figure things out."

...a bit after making those above edits, i realized something interesting: i'm scared to make friends because i worry they'll be too draining for me and won't feel like actual friends, only obligations. but i get scared once i'm in a friendship because i worry i'm just an obligation to my friends, not someone they actually enjoy being around. ...okay, i realize now that's not necessarily a breakthrough. i've said many times (maybe not HERE but to my therapist or friends) that i know i'm projecting my own thoughts onto others, onto my friends. i'm assuming / fearing they have the same mindsets i do. but something....ugh, words suddenly died. um. in my imagined scenarios, something-something power dynamics switch depending on if i know someone or not: it goes from the new person being draining to, once the relationship is established, me being draining

i don't know what to do with that thought. now that i put it that way, it seems like... it's the same THING as the projecting, but it's a different CONCEPT. if that makes sense. like, the same thing is happening in both "scenarios" -- it's the same scenario -- but there are different interpretations / different ideas being applied. like looking at the situation from two different theoretical lenses.

yeah idk what to do with this train of thought now. it's past 3 am goodnight. i got some good thoughts thru this entry, tho, so yay

[extravaguk]

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

wordcount: 15k

genre: summer!au, ex high school classmaters, kinda frenemies to lovers, tattoo artist!&piercing artist!jungkook, popular!reader

rated: m (fluff - smut - angst)

warnings: you broke jungkook's heart you bitch!! , oral sex (m&f), protected sex (shocking tbh), CL as your bestie it doesnt get better than that! idk i dont wanna spoil too much

author's note: fucking finally dude!! i've been writing this since february but school was kicking my ass. now that i finished my exams and mercury is in gemini i was able to finish it. if you read this, i hope you enjoy it!

Inkphoria

You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping the flyer too tightly, rumpling the paper in your hand until you're pretty much sure it's ruined. It's the first day of June, and it's already too hot. The sun and humid weather are causing beads of sweat to form in your hairline and your white tank top to stick to your skin. Your jean shorts didn't feel this uncomfortable a few hours ago and you're sure the heat is causing your mascara to transfer to your eyelids and lower lashline. You've never needed a slushie and a smoke this bad in forever, even if you knew the later would make your parents lose their shit.

Inkphoria

You read it again. Your brain is trying to guess what font its written in, an excuse to try to steady your heart beat until your nerves ease a little and you can finally gather the courage to step into the damn shop. You've noticed a few people passing by giving you strange looks because maybe it hasn't been fifteen minutes. Perhaps you've been unmoving like an idiot in the middle of the street for longer than you want to admit.

Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.

'Its not that much of a big deal. It's not even that painful, trust me.'

You wish you could trust your best friend, but your best friend is also the same woman who assured you Cats was the movie of the year. Yes, not 'Cats: The Musical'. 'Cats', the movie.

'And this could be a great start to get out of your comfort zone and start living your life exactly the way you want to, not the way people expect you to. Not the way your family wants you to, not the way Adam wanted you to.'

But although her credibility could sometimes be questionable - like that time she also told you she'd tried marmite and 'honestly, it's not as bad as people make it out to be'-, you also didn't trust anybody in this world as much as you trusted her. She had always been your entire support system, the only one around you who never sugarcoated, who always treated you as an equal, who was always there for you to help you discover yourself and, at the same time, remind you of who you were.

'And it's gonna look so hot, too.'

That's it. Sticking the wrinkled flyer on your back pocket, your feet finally start moving. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing open the door.

The first thing you notice is that, thankfully, the shop is empty. The second thing you notice is the bright sky blue walls, a green undertone peaking through. Your eyes scan nervously the interior. Frames with tattoo designs and people modeling other different designs decorate the walls, some skateboards also hanging from the ceiling. A few plants in the corner, and two leather couches on either side of the room. Your scanning stops on the counter, where a girl with short, platinium hair and -what you guess is- the eighty percent of her body inked. Face included. She's been looking at you, a smirk tugging at her lips. Her tone is amused when she speaks

"Hi." she says. "You can come closer, you know? We don't bite."

Great. As if you couldn't feel more out of place, apparently you also couldn't look more out of place.

"Sorry." you gulp as you walk forward. "It's my first time doing anything like this."

She laughs this time, but it's not mean. It's not mocking, thank God, and the smile she sends you is as warm as the weather, friendly, luckily helping you calm down a bit. "A virgin, huh? JK's gonna love this." your eyes jump in surprise, but she's fast to wave her hands in front of you. "Just a joke. So, first time getting a tattoo. You have something in mind, honey?"

"Um, no. Not a tattoo. Not yet, I think." you wet your lips, regretting not reaplying chapstick before stepping inside. "A piercing."

"Oh! Cool!" she claps her hands, too excited for your own taste, pulling from under the counter a catalogue. "So, where will it be? Cartilogue? Nose? A lot of people are getting their septums pierced right now, though, so you might-"

"Nipples. Like, one of them."

Her gaze finds yours in surprise, although her face swiftly transforms again into an amiable expression. "Now, that's badass. Alright!" she skims through the pages of the catalogue until she finds the nipple piercing collection. You scratch your head before wiping your forehead sweat-free. "You can pick either barbells or hoops, although barbells heal faster and they don't move around as much. There's different kinds of metal, too. Gold or platinium. If your skin is sensitive, I recommend titanium. It's hypoallergenic and not as problematic."

The blonde keeps talking as you nod your head, a smile making its way into your face while silently thanking her for her easygoing personality. It quickly makes you feel comfortable and stupid for being so terrified of doing this.

Once you decide, settle on the cost and sign the papers, she stands up from the stool she'd been sitting on. "Ok, I'll go tell my coworker. He's been sketching tattoos all morning, it's time he gets to work!" she laughs, but suddenly your smile banishes and your throat shuts down.

"He?" your alarmed tone halts her motions and she looks back at your frightened expression.

He? A he is going to pierce your nipple? You're about to let a random stranger, a HE, see and touch one of your boobs and then pierce a needle through one of your nipples?

"Oh, baby, don't worry. I'd do it myself if I knew how to, but I only do tattoos. Most of our staff are on summer vacation so it's mostly just him and I. If you don't feel comfortable, which is totally understandable, you can wait until september when Minzy comes back and she can do it for you." It's her turn to scratch the back of her head as she adds: "but trust me, we're professionals. He's not a creep or anything like that. He's been doing this for a long time. He won't cross any boundaries."

September? You won't even be here in september. Fuck.

Sure, you could do it when you move back into the city. But this summer was supossed to be the summer. You already decided after your breakup with Adam that there would be no trace of the old you. That it was time to push yourself, to do the things that you've always wanted to do, unapologetically. To find the new you, the real you. To stop being scared.

So after going through you options for a few seconds and taking a deep breath, you make up your mind.

"It's fine. I can do it."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"JK, sweetheart!"

Jungkook is finishing drawing a Chinese dragon when Mijoo opens the door without knocking. Again. He puts the pen down, rubbing his eyes. It's monday, a slow monday, not much work, and he had hoped it would stay that way until closing time. It's summer and Jungkook hates summer. He hates the heat, he hates being drenched in sweat, and he hates the fact that he can do nothing about it. Because working in the summer is terrible. Summer makes him lazy, makes him want to bathe in a tub full of iced water and not get out until he turns into a raisin and october comes. It makes him irritable. Summer makes him annoyed by people -like Mijoo, even if he loves her to death- and himself.

"I got a girl here who wants a nipple piercing, her first piercing by the way, so get your shit ready and bla bla bla. Straight titanium barbell. Also, don't flirt and don't be creepy. She almost ran away when I told her a male was going to be touching and piercing her tit, be mindful of that. She's too cute, if you want to get her number you should wait until it's done. I think that's it. I'll bring her in in a minute."

Mijoo leaves as fast as she talks, but Jungkook is already used to it. He's already used to the headaches her mouth causes too. He sighs before standing up, tying his too-long raven hair into the best bun he can manage. He washes his hands, sets the table up, sits on the chair and puts the gloves on. He's too busy sterilizing the jewerly when Mijoo comes back with you.

"Alright, my babies. I'll leave you to it." she turns to you. "He'll explain everything, from how the process will be to how to take care of it after it's done." she leaves before saying bye, closing the door behind her, and then he finally turns to you.

Your eyes meet and suddenly everything stops. He almost drops the sterilizing machine, his whole body tensing, going into panic mode as he recognizes you immediatly. His hands shake.

Of course he does. Of course he recognizes his high school crush. The too goody two shoes, too pretentious and too rich, too good for everybody and, most importantly, 'too good for Jeon Jungkook' girl of his high school dreams. Of course he recognizes the girl he had confessed his stupid crush to when he was sixteen. Of course he recognizes the girl who rejected and broke his young and foolish heart when he was a dumb teenager.

It doesn't matter that six years have passed ever since. He still knows every lock of your hair like the palm of his hand. He still remembers the shape of your lips and the exact shade of your eyes. He can still identify the body he fantasized about -and jacked off to- when he was a hormonal teen, now filled in all the right places. Now a grown woman.

Just one look at you after years and years of pining is enough to almost make him faint. And grow a boner under his jeans.

And by the look on your face, your eyes wide and your mouth agape, you recognize him as well.

Dammit.

He schools his features and clears his throat. Forces his body to relax and compose himself, because he's not a teenager anymore. He's also a grown man, who has matured, who now has much more experience with women than he did back then. He had already embarrased himself enough when he was sixteen to be doing it all over again. You're just another attractive girl in a sea of attractive women.

He turns to you. You still haven't said anything. Neither has he.

"Um, you can sit on the table." he manages, motioning to the set up in front of him. He watches you taking doubtful steps until you're sitting down, your eyes avoiding his gaze. He almost forgot you were here to get pierced. Holy shit, you were here to get pierced. To get your nipple pierced.

You're a professional, Jungkook. You can do this, Jungkook. You've seen boobs before, Jungkook. You've pierced nipples before, Jungkook.

Clearing his throat again and forcing his hands to stay by his side, he speaks. "The... The top." your gaze finds his, like a puppy about to get scolded. You look at your top, realization dawning on you. "You don't have to take it off. You can just pull it down."

So you do, pulling the straps of the white tank top down and dragging the fabric down with trembling fingers. No bra. Jungkook gulps as your breasts comes into vision. As perfect as he had imagined years ago. His cock twitches. Round, full, perky and so damn inviting he has to hold himself back from latching onto one nipple with his mouth around it and swirling his tongue over the nub until you're a pretty, moaning, little mess on his piercing tabl-

He closes his eyes for just a second before reminding himself to act like the 23 year old Jungkook he's tried so hard to become. The confident, assured Jungkook he is.

"Okay, this is how it'll go. First I'll clean it and scrub it to get rid of any bacteria." he's so glad he hasn't stuttered yet. 23 year old Jungkook doesn't stutter like 17 year old Jungkook. He's also glad he can pick the alcohol bottle and the surgical scrub without trembling. When he faces you again, you're watching his motions with your lip caught between your teeth. That has him swallowing the lump in his throat.

Making eye contact with him again, you take a deep breath and offer a small nod, so he gets to work. He can show you and himself he's a grown man. A grown man who can pierce a nipple without appearing like it's the first time he's seen a boob in his life. The sooner he does it, the sooner it's over.

Jungkook wets the paper towel with alcohol before carefully wiping over your nub with it. Your back arches, probably from the cold feeling, he guesses. He rubs it a few times before throwing it in the trash can nearby. He avoids looking at how enticing the soft peak is salluting him when he reaches for the marker. He doesn't say anything when he dots it with it, jaw clenched and his dick painfully stiff.

"Lay back." his voice low as he commands, turning away to get the clamp. When he slides closer, he tries to ignore the view: you, with your hair sprawled and your sweaty, shiny skin and your eyes focused on the cieling, nipple fully erect, like the star of one of his most erotic dreams. He extends his free gloved hand before he can stop himself, fingers carefully working the nub until he's sure it's painfully hard. Almost as hard as he is.

You gasp, your back arching again. He stills and looks at you, your cheeks flushed pink. Probably from the heat, he guesses again. Or at least that's what he tells himself. He can't stop himself from wondering how responsive would you be in a different setting, most likely his bed while his teeth play with your breast and his cock dives into-

"You okay?" he studies your face, your eyes not meeting his and instead still focusing on the white ceiling.

"Mhm." you reply with a small voice.

"Relax, alright? It'll be over soon." his voice is as gentle as he can, his fingers mindlessly caressing your breast to try to soothe your nerves. Or maybe it's just because he's a selfish bastard. Whatever it is, he forces himself to bring the clamp to your nipple, securing it around it.

"Take a few deep breaths. This will only take a second of pain and then it will go away." He misses the way your mouth falls open, but he doesn't miss the way your eyes squeeze tight as the needle goes in.

"Ah!" he definitely doesn't miss that either. He goes rigid for a second, because that didn't fucking sound like a cry of painfulness. It's breathy, and whiny, not too loud and, for fucks sake, if that's how you sound when you're getting fucked, he swears to God-

He feels your heartbeat under his hands when he puts the barbell in and then the bandage over it. He takes a look at you, chest moving up and down. And then you take a look at him and what he sees is almost enough to take you right there.

Reddened cheeks, drops of sweat framing your face and those eyes glazed with something he's seen too much in the women he's fucked throughout his life. They're half lidded, mascara adorning your long lashes and almost smudged, looking right through him.

"Jungkook..." and your voice, as you say his name -acknowledging him for the first time since you stepped into his shop, for the first time since you were sixteen-, it's hoarse, almost inaudible, like you just came all over his-

He's on his feet in an instant like he's been burned. "It may bleed for the first week, and it can be really sore. The swelling will eventually come down." he's quickly tidying up the table, a bottle in his hand that he hands to you without looking directly. "Wash it gently with this soap and warm water once per day. Don't touch it. Wear a comfortable...bra. If it gets crusty, clean it with saline. Not alcohol or any other thing you might clean a wound with. The soap I just gave you or saline. Nothing else."

He's pacing around the room as he takes his gloves off and throws them in the trash bin, too agressively maybe, then he keeps rambling, like he's hurriedly trying to make you leave as soon as possible. "Avoid pools and the sea. It takes about six months to a year to heal, so don't... don't touch it, don't play with it or..." he clears his throat, "don't let anyone else play with it. And if it gets infected, come back immediately and I'll take a look at it." which he honestly hopes it won't happen. When he faces you, your top is back on and you're getting off the table.

"Alright, um...I'll do that." clearing your throat, your hand gripping the doorknob. "Thank you."

But right before you can exit the room, Jungkook says your name.

"_____." when you turn around to face him, it takes a few seconds for him to make eye contact from across the room. "It was good to see you."

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"Let me see!"

It's the first thing Chaelin says when she opens the door to her appartment. It's on the second floor, small enough to compare it to most expensive appartments you'd stayed in throughout your life, but big enough for Chaelin, her cat and her -impressive- collection of acrylic nail kits and pairs of high heels. It's also big enough for her to offer you the only guest room until summer is over so you didn't have to, one, stay at your parents' place, and two, find an appartment in a short period of time for a short period of time.

When you left years ago, you did so with the thought of 'never looking back'. You never really expected to return here, of all places. Maybe visit your best friend for a weekend at most, have dinner with your parents on a saturday and then go back to the new life you'd made for yourself on a sunday.

But that was before you'd caught Adam cheating.

Tale as old as time: childhood sweethearts get engaged, move in together, son of a bitch sleeps with the assistand he told his girlfriend not to worry about, and then the brokenhearted girl packs her bags and leaves the cheating bastard begging for her to come back.

You'd be lying if you said you were surprised.

Throughout your life, you'd learned to expect many things, regardless of being sheltered and babied by your family since you were born. Watched too much Maury and Dr.Phil. Too much Gossip Girl to know what the deal with life really is.

So, thankfully, you'd only shed a few tears, mostly because your ego and self steem were slightly triggered. You'd realize long before that your feelings for Adam started to disappear once he popped the question and you said yes. Your love story began as teenagers but soon after graduating, the two of you went on different paths: you'd matured, grown into your twenties while he got stuck at 17 and never stopped acting as such.

So yeah, whatever, break ups are hard. But they're not as hard when the love is gone and the sole reason to stay with your partner is to please your parents. You were also right when you expected your mom to tell you to 'forgive and forget' because 'those things just happen, it's not a big deal, honey'.

But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

The lanky nerd with braces, glasses and an anime obsession much bigger than his hentai obsession, which is saying a lot. The shy, awkward classmate who'd stuttered his undying crush for you when you were just kids. That one who you had rudely rejected like the bitch you used to be in high school.

But my God, Jeon Jungkook was anything but a kid now.

You were shocked. You were gagged. Couldn't seem to fathom what was happening and what your eyes were seeing. It took you a while to close your mouth when you realized JK was Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

With messy black hair, a smoldering gaze free of glasses, piercings adorning both ears, and his right eyebrow,, the braces long gone showing perfectly straight - but still bunny like- teeth. The clothes he wore were loose, all black, but it was impossible not to notice the muscles of his back and arms, covered with tattoos from his hands to his forearms. You'd bet there were more of them underneath the fabric.

It was awkward at first. You didn't know what to do, or what to say. Didn't know if he rememberd you. So you chose to stay quiet while your body chose to react like it had never been in the presence of an attractive young man in it's entire life.

And oh, did it react.

He was reluctant, his old timid demeanor peeking through his newly adopted persona. But as soon as those hands came in contact with your skin, your whole body was lit on fire. Like you were 16 and losing your virginity over again and it was the first time a dude touched your boobs.

There shouldn't have been anything erotic about it -besides the fact that your entire breasts were exposed-, it should've been just a professional procedure. But those gloved fingers touched and pinched and suddenly you were too aware of Jeon Jungkook and the way you were starting to sweat profously, not due to the heat of the season.

You tried to distract yourself by looking at the cieling and not at his gorgeous face. Tried to avoid thinking about Jeon Jungkook and how his mouth would feel wrapped around you. Tried not to think about the way your panties were a second skin to your folds, and how tempted you were to grind your hips until you recieved some sort of friction with the jean fabric of your shorts. You wonder if he noticed you squeezing your thighs together. You hope not.

And then the needle happened. You never thought of yourself as a particularly kinky person. Sex with Adam was boring for the most part and you'd lost your libido for a long time. Stopped thinking about sex altogether. But the pain. The pain mixed with his hand rubbing soothing circles on your breast and his voice, as sweet as honey, guiding you through it. It made you reconsider a lot of things you'd once dismissed as 'weird' or 'deviant'

You swear you almost came right on his table.

And then your eyes connected, you made the mistake of calling his name like a satisfied woman who still needed more, and it was all gone. He stood up like a scared cat, gave you a bunch of explanations about the aftercare that you barely grasped without even looking at you and pretty much rushed you to leave.

So you walked, all the way from the tattoo parlor to Chaelin's appartment, mortified, and completely humilliated.

"Are you gonna let me see or not?" your friend says expectantly as you finally sit down after chugging a glass of iced water. You sigh, placing the glass on the table before carefully pulling down your top. "Oh my God, it looks so cool!" she gasps and you can't help a smile while she studies it in amazement. "Did it hurt?"

"Um, I guess." you keep out the part where you almost orgasmed, obviously, stopping her hand from touching when she reaches towards you. "Wait, no. He said something about not touching it for like six months or a year, I don't remember."

At that, Chaelin's eyebrows quirk up. "He? It was a he? Was he cute, at least?"

"You won't believe this..." looking away for a few seconds, you take a deep breath. "It was Jeon Jungkook."

There's a pause, a silence that fills the room when Chaelin's jaw drops. "Jeon Jungkook...pierced your nipple?"

You close your eyes, bracing yourself for what you're a hundred percent sure is coming.

"Ha..." there it is. "Ha ha..." you still know there's more. "Ha ha ha..."

Chaelin laughs hysterically for about God knows how long, while you keep drinking your glass of water unfaced, your mind drifting back to Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie, his tattoos and his stupid gloved hands.

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You know he's here.

Everything was cool, you were doing alright, having a great time with your vodka sprite in hand and your cute white bikini on. Chaelin was by your side, the guys were excited to have you back and thankfully, you'd avoided most questions about Adam and they'd avoided digging too deep into the topic. You'd sunbathed the whole afternoon, kept away from the water like he'd told you and ate the Hawaiian pizza Yoongi insisted on ordering despite Namjoon's and Jimin's complaints.

It's at night, when you're a little tipsy and your cheeks are flushed, that you feel it. You'd barely noticed Taehyung disappearing to let in a new guest.

You don't see him, but you feel him.

You're sitting on the pool tile steps, legs dangling and the water baely reaching your belly to make sure it doesn't touch your very sensitive and newly pierced nipple. Your back is facing the sliding glass doors of Hoseok's house, but the moment you hear his voice, smooth but animated as he converses with Taehyung, your body wakes up immediately, back straightening, goosebumps forming on your arms and nipples tightening against the fabric of your two piece.

You don't turn around, instead opting for downing the remaining of your drink and coming to the realization that, of course, Taehyung, social butterfly who'd always got along with everybody and remained friends with most people from high school, still keeps in touch with Jungkook.

You ignore him when he enters the pool, still peering from the corner of your eyes while pretending to be engaged in Chaelin's and Jihyo's conversation. Your mind sabotages you by taking you to that day a week ago at the tattoo parlor.

To the warmth of his hand, to the few strands of hair that his small ponytail couldn't keep together, to the way his eyes focused on such an intimate part of your body, to the endless ink decorating his skin, to-

Great. Now your bottoms are wet and not due to the water.

You don't miss Chaelin supressing a laugh and her not so subtle elbowing. You glance at her in warning and try to keep calm for the next fifteen minutes until Jin proposes moving to the living room to watch a movie.

"I'm gonna stay here for a little longer, guys." you say, after clearing your throat. You needed some time to gather yourself before being in a confined space with Jungkook.

"Are you sure?" Jin stops by your side to place a hand on your shoulder as everybody starts exiting the pool. "It's Mean Girls! You love Mean Girls! You never miss a minute of Mean Girls!"

Rolling your eyes, you wave him dismissively. "I know every dialogue on Mean Girls like the back of my hand, I think I'll be alright, Jin."

When everybody finally leaves, you take a deep breath, covering your face with your hands in an attempt to get him out of your head. Damn Jeon Jungkook and his irresisitble glow up.

"You okay?"

The unexpected voice startles you, a gasp finding its way out of your mouth and causing you to jump on your seat, heartbeat erratic as you instantly recognize who it belongs to. Your hand grasps your chest as if that would do anything to protect yourself against him.

"Shit, don't do that!" you say, the words almost getting stuck in your throat as you see him approaching you, still submerged in the pool. The more he nears you, the less water depth there is and the more visible his torso comes into view. Wich was exactly what you'd been avoiding.

Because Jeon Jungkook was ripped, as you'd imagined when you first encountered him.

Broad shoulders and strong biceps and chiseled abs and veiny forearms. Drenched hair, a full sleeve of tattoos and water dripping from delicious tan skin and all just so very hard. That paired up with a loopsided smile that does nothing but make you shudder.

"Sorry." he doesn't sound apologetic at all when he says that, the smirk adorning his features telling. "You just seemed a little off." you advert your gaze when he pushes his hair back.

"I'm fine, just...just wanted to be by myself."

"Oh" Jungkook's smile disappears. "I can leave, if you want me t-"

"No!" you're not sure where that comes from and neither does he, judging by the look on his face when your eyes find his. Eyebrows raised and mouth slightly parted, he's as surprised as you and there's an awkward silence for a few seconds. "Um, you don't have to. I mean, it's not my house, you can do whatever you want." you sniff and tame your voice, trying to seem cool and collected like you didn't just practically beg him not to go.

Ironic, considering this was exactly what you had been fearing for the past thirty minutes.

And then he smiles. A knowing smile. A smile that says 'you just totally checked me out and now you don't want me to leave'. A smile that you would have never associated with Jeon Jungkook of all people years ago. A smile that makes you want to look away but still keeps you in place.

"Sure." he says, closing the space between the two of you slowly but still leaving enough distance. "So, how's it going?"

You clear your throat, head high and determined not to let this man, or any man for that matter, turn you into a trembling mess. You're still you and you're not easily shaken by the opposite sex. Or at least that's what you helplessly chant in your head.

"Everything's cool. I'm on summer vacation now," a little white lie, "so I decided to-"

"The piercing." he says, the smile never leaving his face. "I meant how's the piercing."

"The pier- right." you almost miss the step he takes forward, all too aware of his height over yours but thankful for the centimeters that being propped on the stairs added to yours. "It's-" you almost, almost miss his knee touching your knee and him slightly separating your legs with his own inch by inch. Or how your thighs open unvoluntarely to welcome him in and how you can barely find coherent words to speak. "It's doing-" or the way his smile disappears and is instead focusing his dark stare fully onto yours.

"It's doing well." you finally say in a whisper, not being able to bring yourself to be louder.

He hums. "May I see it?" Jungkook wets his lips with the tip of his tongue and the action and his voice is enough to make you nod your head, bewitched.

His movements are unhurried, his hand coming up to tentatively come in contact with the flesh of your clavicle. His fingers skim through your skin upwards, his touch is feather-like when it wraps around your throat. You pant, and he stops but he doesn't move away, his eyes still focused on yours, studying you, daring you to pull back, to tell him to back off. But just a simple touch of his and you're fully under his control. It reminds you too much of the day you got that damn piercing.

Your lips are parted and for a moment he stays just like that. His body so close to yours but not close enough, and his hand slightly gripping your neck. Your pussy clenches around nothing and you can't wrap your head around the fact that something so simple sets your entire being alive and leaves you aching.

Then, as slow as he started, his hand travels from the front of your neck to the back, pushing your hair aside to carefully untie the straps of your bikini. He breathes through his nostrils, doesn't make a sound. He seems so collected it's starting to annoy you.

Instead, your breathing is ragged when the top falls down, exposing both your breasts to him. That's when he removes his eyes from yours and his jaw clenches. Your nipples perk up under his gaze, like they remember him and the effect he had on them just a week ago. You're at least glad you're not the only one affected but he seems to be a master at keeping it under wraps.

Then, his hand moves again, leaving goosebumps on your skin as it goes south. Jungkook takes his time, so deliberate you want to scream, until he's cupping your pierced breast, keeping away from the nipple just like he'd advised you a few days prior. You can't look away from his face, from his eyes observing you like you're a full course meal and he's been starving for days. You feel drops of water falling from his hair to your thighs, his thumb caressing your skin so delicately as it faintly nears your still tender nipple. Just nearing it, never touching it.

"Beautiful." his murmur is almost imperceptible and for a moment you think you've imagined it. Your back arches on its own, breast pushed against the palm of his hand, almost like your body is begging him to come closer, to touch you more, to feel you all over. He meets your eyes briefly, gauging your reaction, before going back to your chest. Suddenly, the grip on your breast tightens, fingers ever so softly squeezing your flesh. From your throat comes a mewl, your eyes shut and your legs close around his waist.

"Jungkook, please..." you whisper when you open your eyes. He looks at you, unvertainty written all over his face, lips bruised as if he had been biting on them too hard, gaze as glassy as yours. And just like that, the spell is broken. He blinks and his expression changes completely. Lips forming a straight line and jaw tight. His hand retracts, fixing your bikini top over your breasts before tying it around your neck like it originally was. Meanwhile your eyebrows crunch in confusion. But when you're about to start asking questions, he clears his throat.

"It's healing okay." he steps back, avoiding your eyes. "I'll see you inside."

Jungkook leaves the pool like nothing happened.

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Jungkook is fiddling, fixing the position of his glasses and combing through his straight hair with shaky hands, habits he's tried so hard to get rid of in his sixteen years of existence but still finds impossible to.

He can't help it. He's always been like this: the quiet and awkward kid in class who sits in the back, a misunderstood puppy in a sea of stronger dog breeds that could eat him alive. An outcast. Too geeky for his own good. Notebokes full of Dragon Ball doodles on the margins of the pages, the shelves in his room stacked with Marvel figurines, and a closet filled with outdated clothes that he has been inheriting from his older brother.

He has never been the type to stand out, always being overlooked by people like he's invisible. He doesn't mind though. He'd much rather be ignored than getting picked on by bullies like he used to in elementary school.

He never gets invited to parties. Ever. He's a nobody who barely speaks, and when he does he either stutters or manages to embarrass himself in one way or another. He's seen the look on people's faces when they look at him. Their eyes seem to scream 'weirdo' everytime he gets acknowledged.

So obviously the only reason he was invited to this particular party had a first and last name: Kim Taehyung. The only kid in Jungkook's entire life who didn't look at him in a funny way, the only kid who took the time to entangle in a random conversation with him after class and who seemed geniune enough to make Jungkook feel comfortable.

He's not sure how it happened, since Taehyung mostly hangs out with the cool kids. But somehow it did, and now Jungkook is uncomfortably standing in a living room full of drunk teens, looking directly at you.

You, the one girl Jungkook had been pining on for God knows how long. You, who are obviously too pretty, too popular, and way out of his league. You, with your plaid skirt and your polo shirt and those legs that never seem to end. You, who are sitting with your friends in a couch, drink in hand and visibly tipsy. And yet, he doesn't think he's ever seen anyone pull of the 'drunk-rosy-cheek' look better than you.

He can hear your laugh through the music and he already thinks it sounds better than whoever is playing in the background.

"Come on, Gukkie! Her friends are leaving and she's all by herself now! It's your chance" Taehyung's obviously drunk too because it took Jungkook a while to decypher his exact words. He'd disappeared for a while and now that he's back, he's pushing Jungkook in your direction.

"This was a mistake, Taehyung." Jungkook shakes his hair and steps back, quickly glancing at the front door to prepare his escape. But his new friend's grip on his hoodie keeps him in place.

"Guk, listen. The only thing you have to do, is walk up to her, and say 'hey I think you're, like, really pretty. Just letting you know. Bye!' That's it. Jung- Dude, Guk, seriously, look at me." Taehyung grabs Jungkook's cheeks, squishing them between his hands and forceing him to face him. "You've been crushing hard on her for years, my man. We're graduating and you won't see each other again. What's the worst thing that can happen? Getting rejected?"

Jungkook's eyebrows draw together. "Um, yeah?"

"Exactly! Getting rejected is not the end of the world, bro! It just means keep trying on other girls!" Taehyung releases his hold on Jungkook's cheeks. "I just think you're going to regret not telling your crush she's your crush. Who knows? Maybe in the future you two will get married."

Jungkook snickers, muttering a 'yeah right' under his breath. Still, he can't help the smile that Taehyung's words always seem to pull out of him.

"Now," Taehyung playfully slaps Jungkook before turning him in your direction again. "Go get 'em, tiger!"

"Okay," Mijoo's voice slices through Jungkook's memories. She's sitting on Jungkook's desk, munching on her brownies and looking at her coworker expectantly. "And then what?"

He sighs, running a hand through his hair, sits back on his chair, already feeling the effects of Mijoo's baked goods. "And then I walked up to her, like a damn fool, stutter and all. And I say:" he clears his throat, making an effort to do his best teenage Gukkie impression."'Hey, _____, um, so, I think you're beautiful and I've had a crush on you since seventh grade, haha, just wanted to let you know.'"

Mijoo rolls her eyes, still chewing. "And then what?"

"And then she looked me up and down, giggled, fucking giggled, Mijoo, and said 'Who are you, again?'" Mijoo gasps and Jungkook closes his eyes, trying to force that recollecion out of his head.

"What a bitch." she can't help but laugh before apologizing. Jungkook merely shrugs his shoulders and takes another bite of his brownie. "She didn't say anything else?"

"She said something along the lines of:" he clears his throat again, this time, doing an impression of you. "'That's sweet and all but, you and I... we're not the same. And I have a boyfriend, so...' She said that like I didn't know, like I wasn't aware of the school's it couple! Like I was dumb!"

Mijoo nods. "And now you want to fuck her even more than you did in high school."

"I- No! Well, yes. Fuck, of course I want to sleep with her! But I just... can't."

"Why not?"

"Did you hear anything about what I just told you or were you too concentrated trying to get high?"

It's Mijoo's turn to roll her eyes. "I heard everything you just told me. I just don't understand what the problem is. You two were sixteen. Sure, she was a bitch about it, but Lord knows I've been a bitch my entire life and now I'm not anymore." Jungkook raises an eyebrow at that. "Okay, sometimes I can be nice. But the point is..." Mijoo finishes her piece of brownie before getting off of Jungkook's desk. "It's been, what? Nine? Ten years? People change, JK. You're the best example of that. You want to fuck her and she obviously wants to fuck you too. You're both adults." she wipes her hands on her shorts. "I think it's time you fulfill that high school fantasy of yours."

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You've made up your mind.

And by you, it means Chaelin has made up your mind.

It didn't take long to convince you though. That last interaction with Jungkook cause too many emotions stirring within you. It left you hot, it left you bothered, it left you confused. Sure, it also left you a little bit embarrassed like the first time, but above everything else, that interaction with Jungkook left you absolutely livid.

Because who the fuck did Jeon Jungkook, formerly known as Guk, Gukkie, Jungukkie, and currently known as JK, think he was to come near you, speed your heart rate's up, and then runaway like that?

You've spent days thinking about it. About that face, about that body, about those hands and- shit. You're doing it again.

You've spent days trying to push those intrusive thoughts. Spent days trying to bury what happened. You've spent days trying to keep quiet, not telling anyone about it and just wishing that stupid spark of desire simply went away.

But it has just been simply unavoidable. You haven't been able to ignore the sleepless nights with your brain drifting back to that night and forbidding your hand from slipping under your panties. Or the excessive amount of time during the day where images of him suddenly popped in your head and wouldn't go away, even with you squeezing your thighs to try to make the ache go away.

So you ended up ranting and ranting and ranting to the only person you could confide on, who is obviously your best friend. Your best friend, who's too smart for her own good and knows you too well for your liking. Because apparently your moodiness and snappy remarks couldn't go unnoticed.

And after explaining the fiasco over a bottle of wine -and minutes of endless laughing on Chaelin's part because, again, it's Gukkie you two were talking about and, according to her, this was "the most karmic thing I've ever seen"-, she gave you the best advice an older sister could ever give.

"Fuck him."

"I know right? Fuck him!"

"No. I mean, fuck him."

And now here you are. Right inside that room you stepped in weeks ago, confronting the man in question with the same confidence that has always distinguished you from others and trying to act like the fluttering inside your belly wasn't nauseauting.

"A date."

"Yes."

"You want to go on a date with me." this wouldn't be so hard if Jungkook didn't look so delectable in a plain white t-shirt and ripped jeans. You cross your arms over your chest, doing your best to not look down at the exposed skin of a man who obviously worked out a lot and apparently, never skipped leg day. "What's the catch?"

He's sitting on his chair, back resting comfortably and legs spread, narrowing his eyes at you and probably wondering why the girl at the front desk let you in without an appointment. Also, probably wondering if there was a catch to all of this.

"There's no catch. I just want to go to the fair this weekend. I'll ask Taehyung for your number and text you the date and the exact place we'll be meeting. Unless..." your quirk one of your eyebrows. "Unless you're already planning on how you'll chicken out this time."

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Of course, Jungkook says yes to going on a date with his high school crush but spends the following days overthinking every single thing.

He can't help but feel like it's kinda sketchy. What if you're planning your vendetta on him? What if you don't even show up and he ends up there looking like a damn idiot? What if you hate him and are just messing up with him? What if that incident in high school is going to repeat itself?

"If she doesn't show up, you simply move on and never speak to her again. It's that simple. She can't have that much power over you to cry about something like that." Mijoo had said that same day she let you in the tattoo parlor after you'd asked to see Jungkook. Jungkook's coworker hadn't even question you and just motioned you to Jungkook's room with a knowing smile on her face. Later that day, Jungkook had scolded her about it and she'd simply shrugged.

He considers cancelling, eyes reading the 'won't be able to make it, sorry (sad face emoji)' over and over again and fingers hovering over the send button so many times he's lost count. But then he remembers that comment of yours about him chickening out and Jungkook starts seeing red.

How couldn't you understand he's just terrified of you rejecting him one more time? Sure, Jungkook is now an adult who doesn't get butthurt over stuff like that. He's experienced too much after graduating from high school and he's a much stronger individual than his fragile self back was back then.

But something about you just makes him feel so... weak.

He still finds it impossible to concieve where he got the courage to approach you like that at Taehyung's pool, or how he brought himself to touch you for longer than a minute without coming in his pants. He'd enjoyed it too much. Allowing him to see you so exposed, just for him. He'd be so tempted to kiss you right there and then, to run his hands up and down your thighs and fully wrap your legs around him to let you known how much you'd affected him. Once you called his name, it was like he'd finally snapped out of it and backed away like he'd been burned by you. He spent the next twenty minutes trying to keep himself from pulling down his pants and jerking off in his friend's bathroom.

It's terrible. Because he feels like the teenager he used to be when you're around. Shy, insecure and overall a mess. You showing up in his life after so many years and now apparenly being interested in him seems like a dream that he's not sure he wants to keep being in or wake up from before it's too late and he falls back into that tumoltuous longing that will inevitably end up in heartbreak. His heartbreak.

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It's saturday night, he's standing by himself in the crowded fair at the spot. You're fifteen minutes late and he's already about to turn back and dip out. He feels too awkward and the nerves are eating him alive.

You're not going to show up. You're not going to show up and now he feels and looks even dumber than the time he told you he was crushing on you. You're not even going to show up and now he's going to come back home, get drunk by himself and curse your name for-

"Hey!" he turns around to the sound of your voice and sees you running towards him. "Sorry I'm late! I couldn't find my phone and spent like thirty minutes looking for it. Turns out, Sharon Stone, was taking a nap on top of it and I didn't even notice."

"Sharon Stone?"

"Chaelin's cat."

To be honest, he's too surprised to process your explanation right away. He might also be a little speechless because that sky blue sundress looks too good on your skin and your eyelashes are so long, framing your beautiful eyes, and your lips are all glossy and kisseable that it takes him a while to find his own voice.

He clears his throat. "It's alright." scratching the back of his head, he momentarely adverts his gaze from you in an attempt to not get distracted by how soft your hair looks and how much he wants to wrap it around his hands in a ponytail. "Um, where do you want to go first?"

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Almost an hour and a half later, when the sun has already disappeared and you're both surrounded by colorful lights, Jungkook decides to buy the both of you hot dogs and a drink and you both settle down on a bench.

You've been walking all over the fair, going from booth to booth, playing any game in sight Jungkook dared you to -he obviously had a competitive streak-: from the ballon and dart games, to the shooting games, to the bumping cars, to the ball-in-basket one. To say you were having fun was an understatement.

You'd almost regretted setting the date up. You were sure he wouldn't even show up and if he did, you were scared of how awkward things could get between the two of you. And if things were awkward, you were sure it would only take less than thirty minutes for the both of you to part ways and never talk again about such failure of a date.

To your surprise, none of that happened.

The conversation was flowing, both of you acting like you were strangers on their first date getting to know each other, which, to be fair, that's exactly what it felt like. There was a slight banter, teasing each other when one of you lost in whatever game you were playing while the other was obviously winning. There were laughs and a funny feeling in your tummy whenever you'd walk side by side and his arm brushed yours.

There was no stiffness on his shoulders, no mention of the past or your previous encounters, no acknowledgement of the blatant sexual tension you'd experienced before, not an ounce of avoidance whenever your eyes met his and he was even sure of himself enough to place a hand on your lower back or briefly interwine your fingers with his to guide you through the mass of people.

It felt like you'd both unspokenly agreed on making each other feel comfortable enough to have a good time.

"I didn't think you were going to show up, to be honest." you suddenly say, taking a sip of your strawberry juice and thankful to finally let your feet rest for a while.

Jungkook looks at you, hot dog mid air and eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline. "You didn't think I was going to show up? I didn't think you were going to show up." you simply shrug, lowering your gaze seepishly, the beginning of a smile on both your faces. He surprises you by tilting your head in his direction with his forefinger. You watch him watching you, a little dazed, a little lost in how his dark hair messily falls over his forehead and his equally dark eyes study your face, his thumb swiping over your lower lip. "You um... There was ketchup right there." he lies.

"Oh" you say, feeling your face heating up. "Thanks. Red doesn't really match this dress." you manage a smile and tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear.

At that, he eyes your dress for a moment, mouth slightly ajar. He's debating on whether or not to say something but you beat him to it.

"I'm sorry, by the way."

"For being late? I already told you it's fin-"

"No." you shake your head. "For... that time when we were young and I was such a concieted brat." you say, looking away , trying to find anything else that's not his pretty face. "I thought I was a queen bee back then. I was annoying and rude, specially to you. I..." you lick your lips. The cherry glittery gloss was already gone. "I thought it was cute, what you said. There was no reason for me to act like that. I know this doesn't make anything right but..." when you turn to face him again, there's still the same expression on his face. "I'm sorry."

A few seconds go by before it's him who's shaking his head. "It's okay. It was a long time ago, anyway." he smiles at you, although it doesn't reach his eyes and seems sorta forced. You sigh, and he takes your hand. "Let's go to the ferris wheel."

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tell you're tense. You're sitting right beside him in the ferris cabin, your back is all straight, you're facing forward and he believes you haven't blinked for what feels like an eternity. He thinks it has everything to do with your conversation a few minutes ago. You were probably not content with his response but what could Jungkook do? There was really no point in apologizing for something that happened years ago, but at the same time, he didn't want to hold anything against you like a resentful asshole because it was really not who he was. But there was still a little bit of stingyness inside of him and he didn't know how to make it go away.

At the end of the day, here you were, on a date with him that you'd asked for, getting along and asking questions about him and laughing at his jokes and trying to start all over again.

But then the ferris wheel starts moving, and he finally understands why you look so uncomfortable.

It's the way you immediately grip his forearm, nails digging in his skin and he swears he hears the smallest gasp forcing itself out your throat.

"Are you... scared?" he tentatively asks.

You say nothing for a while, not moving an inch. He would laugh if you didn't look so pained about it.

"I don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters." you finally say through gritted teeth.

"It's not really that small and ferris wheels are not rollercoasters. " your nails dig deeper and he winces. "Okay, okay. You don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters, and that includes ferris wheels. So why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I've never liked ferris wheels but you seemed excited about it, so..."

There's a silence after that in the environment, neither of you exactly sure of what to say or how to act. Until Jungkook moves one of his hands hands until it's resting on the one who's holding onto him for dear life, fingers caressing yours. The warmth of his hand spreads through yours and although it's almost July and you can already feel your sweaty back staining your dress, it's oddly comforting. What's more comforting even, is him twisting his body towards you and talking with the calmest and most soothing tone you've ever heard.

"Look at me." you do instantly, unwillingly, and kinda wish you hadn't. It's almost as if your body will do anything he says without question. Like he has some sort of power over it to just react however he wants. His eyes bore into yours and suddenly the cab doesn't seem so suffocating. "It's just you and me right now. We're not even on a ferris wheel." the corners of his mouth turn slowly upwards. You zone out the environment, suddenly too aware of him and how close he is and how loud the beating of your heart is to your own ears.

"Jungkook."

You swallow the knot in the back of your throat when he removes his hand from yours. It almost makes you protest, - now realizing you've losened the tight grip on his arm- , before it craddles your face, keeping you in place while bringing his body closer.

"You have to stop saying my name like that."

With his thigh touching your thigh, your whole demeanor melts. When he leans closer, and you feel his breath fanning over your lips, your eyes shut closed.

"Tell me I can-" he starts to say.

"Yes." you finish for him. He doesn't doubt on closing the distance between you two. His lips touch yours and your body shakes in excitement. It's just him lightly skimming your lips with his but it's already too much and at the same time, not enough. It has you deepening it, yourself moving closer when he kisses you again. It has you relaxing against him, the tenseness prior disappearing and making you arch your back when his tongue asks for permission.

But it's exactly then, the moment you open your lips to him, that has you losing your mind.

The sparks fly, traveling from your head to your toes and then settling on the pit of your stomach as soon as the kiss starts to turn desperate and rough. When he nibbles your lips with his teeth, it makes you mewl and whine and your nipples tight against the cotton of your dress. It makes the metal barbell to feel uncomfortable, slightly painful. And when he goes back to being messy and filthy with his tongue tangled with yours, your thighs close on their own.

He forces himself to pull his hand back and bring it down, finding the parting of yd opening them for him. "Wait," you say, your fingers wrapping around his forearm as you try to catch your breath."The ferris-" he shuts you up with another kiss.

"We're not on a ferris wheel." he reminds you, a soft whisper against your mouth. And for whatever reason, you believe him.

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"He fingered you on the ferris wheel."

"Yes."

"And you came before the ride was over."

You take a small sip of wine, your eyes focusing on the TV where a rerun of the Golden Girls is playing, although, to be fair, lately you haven't been able to pay much attention to anything else but a certain brunet with doe eyes and kisseable lips. "Yes."

She hums, stealing a handful of popcorn from the bowl between your thighs.

"How long did it took? Like five minutes?"

There's a pause in which you clench your jaw, your fingers twitching around the glass in your hand, and then you answer. "Probably less."

There's another pause, and then-

"Ha...Ha ha...Ha ha ha-"

You let her laugh. It's okay. You knew you had it coming.

Chaelin knows the pillow you throw right at her face is also something she had coming.

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It's not that you're mad.

Jungkook and you had a great time on that fair date, he made you laugh, bought hot dogs and drinks for the two of you and got you off inside the cab of a ferris wheel on record time with those magical, long fingers of his. Technically, there shouldn't be anything to be angry about.

Except it's been a week and you can't stop thinking about him, about wanting more, and about those words that he left you with after the ferris wheel ride ended, when you had tried to return the favor.

'Next time, maybe.'

And there hasn't been a next time.

The thought of texting him or giving him a call to ask for another date is persistent in your mind. It remains while you do the laundry or wash the dishes, while you shower, while you eat or while you spend your days at the beach with Chaelin. There's always the incessant desire to reach out towards your phone, unlock it and dial his number to beg for more.

But you'd never been one to beg, so you resist the urge everytime that feeling starts to creep up on you and it washes over you like a wave. You silence your phone and try to concentrate on making the most out of your summer.

It's one random night, when you're tiredly dragging your feet across Chaelin's apartment's carpet, yawning and ready to succumb to a well needed slumber, that you see your phone screen's lighting up with a message.

Your heart pathetically leaps inside your chest when you read his name.

'you free on saturday?'

You wish you could say you ghosted him, ignored his text and moved on with your life until it was him who begged you for another date. But the truth is you opened it in a matter of seconds and typed 'i'm free, why?' back in a rush with trembling fingers.

So now you're on the passanger seat of his car while he sits on the driver seat, the first saturday night of July, like he's Danny Zuko and you're Sandy Olsson, watching a vintage movie in a drive-in theater which plot you don't give a shit about, even if Jungkook's date plan idea made something inside of you churn with adoration.

And the only reason why you don't give a single damn about the movie playing in front of your eyes, is because you're hot. Way too hot. And the reason and cause is none other than the boy-now-turned-man sitting on your left.

You barely exchanged words when he picked you up, just rode in silence until you got to your destination and you bet he can feel as well as you do the tension in the air.

You've surveyed him a few times from the corner of his eye, noticing him fiddling with the rings around his fingers and shifting in his seat from time to time. And if the sight of his fingers bring memories that you've tried to bury to keep yourself from lunching towards him, a brief glance at his forearms, adorned with ink drawn through his golden flesh -doing a poor job at concieling the veins running underneath- and his skin-tight jeans wrapping those muscled thighs of his is enough to have you be the one squirming in your seat.

A woman can only endure so much, and you come to that realization thirty minutes into the movie.

"I want to suck your cock." you say, a stern expression on your face as you turn your body in his direction.

Jungkook frozes as your voice slides over him. It takes him a couple seconds to look at you, shock widening his eyes and parting his lips.

"Huh?" he manages, his grip on the steering wheel turning his knuckles white.

Without separating your gaze from his, you gather your hair and tie it in a ponytail with the hair tie previously around your wrist. You don't miss the quick glance he sneaks into the curvature of your neck and the valley between your breasts.

Inching forward, closing in on him, you place one of your hands on top of his thigh, the action making his whole body tense. "____..." he whispers your name in a warning that doesn't sound convincing even in his own ears.

You smile, your eyes never wavering from his as your hand inches upwards, slowly caressing over the fabric of his jeans until you finally come across what you were looking for.

His hand flies to your wrist, stilling your movements. "____, this is not-". He starts, but his voice gets stuck inside his throat when you palm his undoubtly growing erection.

"Shh." your shaky breath fans over his cheek and you force yourself on your knees on the passanger seat in a more comortable possition to stop the trembling to reach them.

You fumble with the belt holding his pants in place, then with the button and finally with the zipper. He helps you by lifting his hips to pull his jeans and boxers to his thighs and you have to bite back a mixture between a gasp and a moan at the sight below you. You haven't even seen Jeon Jungkook naked all the way, but the mere sight of his hard cock with pre-cum glistening on his crown is probably the sexiest thing you've ever had the pleasure of appreciating.

It gets sexier when you wrap your hand around the base and his body melts in the driver seat, throwing his head back with his eyes shut. It gets even sexier when you finally lower your head, swirling your tongue over the head before finally engulfing him fully in the wet warmth of your mouth.

"Shit." his voice is tight, uneven as his hand loosely grips your ponytail, as if careful not to accidentally hurt you and break the glorious moment.

Although you wouldn't mind at all. Because the moment your hands are on him, and your tongue is on his shaft, that's the only thing you care about. Your belly is twisting, an undeniable wet spot on your panties as the fabric sticks to your folds, and the more you suck Jungkook, the more you want from him. His earthy taste is addicting and the soft little whimpers he occasionally can't prevent himself from are making you want to milk him until he can't take it no more. There's this desire within you to whorship him and his cock like you had been dreaming for the past weeks.

"This is s-so fucking h-hot." he rasps between ragged breaths, the bobbing of your head, sliding up and down his dick as your hand works the centimeters your mouth can't take is about to make him faint.

"Getting a blowjob?" you joke, your throat starting to feel sore as you kiss his leaking tip.

"N-no." he draws in a rough breath when you take him all of him again. "You giving me a blowjob... T-the f-fact that anyone c-could see us..." he darts a quick glance at your body, your ass up in the air and your dress sliding down, almost exposing you completely. "The fact that-ah! Shit..." he squeezes his eyes when he feels a glob of your spit lubricating him.

There's a sudden need to make you feel the same, to touch your skin and have you shaking the same way you have him. So one of his hands travels from your spine, to your perked ass, finally dragging the cotton of your dress to allow himself to see your thin white panties. "The fact that anyone could see you l-like this," he murmurs, regaining a little bit of control when he squeezes one of your cheeks. "letting t-them see you s-sucking my cock and..." he smirks when he feels you gasping around him, his fingers trapped between your thighs and pushing them inside your heat easily "and letting them see me fingering this pretty little pussy."

Soon after that he's cumming in your mouth while you're cumming around his fingers.

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At first, it's mostly on weekends when you see each other. Weekends of stolen kisses and soft sighs and whispering against each other's lips. Then weekends turn to week days, sitting on grass while sipping on refreshing beverages, drawing each other laughs, elbows touching as you walk around the park side by side because the both of you are too scared to interwine your fingers together.

Jungkook feels content like this: sitting on the sand with you between his thighs, admiring the sunset while nuzzing your neck and inhaling your scent every now. He likes waching you enoying your strawberry ice cream, almost forgetting the chocolate chip one already melting in his hand.

"If you were an ice cream flavor,which one would you be?" you ask him, relaxing against his chest.

"Rocky road."

"Why?"

He shrugs behind you. "Everyone likes rocky road."

You hum, playfully rolling your eyes. "What about me? Which ice cream flavor would I be?"

"Lemon sherbet, in the summer."

"Lemon sherbet? Out of all of the flavours out there, you're rocky road and I'm lemon sherbet?"

"Lemon sherbet, in the summer." he corrects.

"Okay, fine. Why?"

"You're boring and basic."

You gasp, trying to feign outrage but not being able to repress the laugh that escapes your throat. You elbow him, his laugh mixing with yours while taking the time to wrap his arms around your form, the breeze blowing your hair allowing him a spot between your neck and your shoulder. "You're boring and basic, but once you have a taste..." he presses a small kiss on your skin, causing the tiny hairs on the nape of your neck to rise. "Once you have a taste, specially on the hottest day in the middle of summer, you can't stop tasting and licking until there's no more lemon sherbet left."

You suck in on a breath when he craddles your jaw to face him. "It's been my favourite flavor since I was a kid." he kisses you immediately after, his lips swallowing the small whimper now stuck in your throat.

You close your eyes as his tongue opens your mouth, arousal blasting your insides and something much, much deeper that you fear to even name shredding your chest.

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The beginning of august comes faster then you two realize, but what you both do realize is how hard it's becoming to stay away from each other.

It's been thirty days of dates happening almost everyday, sharing high school memories and anecdotes of the time you spent away from each other. Hours of getting to know each other and opening up to each other. From failed relationships to new friendships. Of park dates walking side by side and fingers now interwined because you both realized one day that, fuck it.

It's difficult to sleep when you realize you're starting to catch serious feelings for somebody who was just supposed to be a fling. It's hard to sleep when his face, his voice and his touch and thoughts of missing him when you don't see each other start haunting you at night.

It's hard for Jungkook to focus on work when you're everything that's occupying his mind. Because he has a hundred sketches to make but he's too busy thinking about the hundred different sketches he would make of you.

It's hard not to send him a goodnight text, just like it's hard for him not to reply in a matter of seconds, almost as if he was already waiting to recieve it.

Jungkook thinks of you at night. Of how pretty and absolutely perfect you are for him. Of the taste of your lips, the way your hair feels between his fingers, or the flush on your cheeks when he makes you cum as droplets of sweat accumulate between your breasts. He thinks about your voice. He also thinks about the amount of hours left to be able to listen to it again.

But mostly he thinks about how ridiculous this situation is. Because he was stupidly crushing on you when you were only teenagers, daydreaming about a chance with you. And now his crush is long gone and he's starting to realize that he's falling, and falling fast.

You, too, think of Jungkook at night. Of his ability to bring a smile out of you, to soothe you with just a few words and filling your belly excitement, happiness and feelings you're sure you've never felt before.

Jungkook's managed to imprint himself in your dreams, and you, in his.

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Getting drunk with Jungkook is fun and messy.

It's fun because he lets loose, he stutters a lot like he used to do when he was a teenager and he makes you laugh louder than ever before. It's messy because he has no control over his hands as they explore your body, clumsily taking your clothes off as his mouth laps at the breast he's allowed to touch.

He's more forceful and dominating too, pinning your hands above your head, and commanding you to keep them right there, on the pillows of his bed. When you rebel against it, your fingers finding the hard planes of his chest, he pulls away from you and places them back where he left them. "Don't make me tie you up." he threatens, and your body shudders beneath him.

He sucks, and bites and leaves marks all over your skin, grunting in response to your moans. Creating a path of kisses from your lips to your stomach, his shoulders separating your knees, opening you up only for him. And thankfully, when you reach down to tug at the strands of hair framing his face, he lets you, because he knows you need something to hold on to the moment his tongue eats you up. He leaves his fingertrips on your thighs as he keeps you in place, not allowing you to runaway. Just forcing you to take it as he takes from you.

And when you cum, he doesn't back away. He keeps sucking, and licking and punishing you with his mouth until you're cumming over and ove again, screaming and begging for his cock.

Having Jungkook over you, both completely naked, skin to skin and only sweat in between is more than you could've ever fantazised about. He slurls your name when he puts the condom on. He would do anything to feel you raw, but he also knows he wouldn't be able to last a minute. The sight of you spread open, with your cheeks darkened by a crimson blush and your hair tangled all over his pillow is a picture he wants to keep forever.

He enters you when you call his name, your voice dripping with need. He stretches your warm and wet felsh, slowly easing himself into you at first, until he's fully inside and your bodies are completely in union. A shiver runs down Jungkook's spine when he looks at your contorted face in pleasure, your lips forming an 'O' and your pussy clenching around him.

"Oh, my God." you moan into the dark of Jungkook's room, and even then, he can clearly appreciate every curve of your body lifting off the mattress to connect with his. He lowers himself on his elbows on either side of your head, caging you in and capturing your mouth with his.

"I know, baby." he murmurs. It's hot, in the middle of August but suddenly Jungkook doesn't hate summer as much as he used to. Not with you sharing the heat with him. "It's way beyond what I could ever imagine." You nod hurriedly against his lips, your arms finding their way around his neck as he starts rocking in and out of you.

"It's too good." you cry, when he hits a particular spot that has you rolling your eyes in bliss and gripping his waist tighter with your legs against you. Your fingers thread through his hair, not bothered by the beads of sweat gathered on the nape of his neck.

"Too good..." he agrees, not missing the shiver that's shaking your own frame when he picks up his speed. "You have no idea what I would do t-to fucking feel you with n-no barriers between us," his movements become frantic as his hips slap against yours, his jaw clenched as he keeps talking, "to s-stuff you full of my c-cum over and over again until it won't stop d-dripping."

Jungkook's voice against your ear has you trembling and your orgasm nearing closer, your nails scratching down his back as his thrusts overpower your form. "Would you like that?" he asks with his voice strangled.

"Y-yes. Anything y-you want."

"You'd take all of my cum like a good cum-slut?"

You hate the fact that that's what makes you come undone. The twisting and knotting in the pit of your stomach finally snapping until you're holding on to him like you never want to let him go and he's following soon after.

Because if Guk, Gukkie, Jengukkie was not only able to make you come in less than a few minutes with his fingers or his tongue, but he was also able to make you cum instantly just by calling you a good cum-slut, that means you're fucked. Like, really, really fucked.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

There's a knot in Jungkook's stomach and a suffocating grip around his vocal chords as he caresses your skin. The sun is rising in the distance with the first rays of light entering his room through the window. Your shamphoo is intoxicating him, numbing him and enticing him to bury his nose in the tangled curls pressing against his chest. Your arm is thrown across his stomach, your breathing leavig goosebumps all over his body.

"It's too early. Go back to sleep." you mumble against his heart. He wonders if you can feel it dangerously speeding up.

"I can't." he says, voice struggling to stay balanced. "I have to tell you something."

You hum in response, sleep still interwined with your body, your arm tightening around him. You sigh in content, expecting him to elaborate.

He wets his suddenly dry lips. "I don't want this to end. In fact, ____.... I want more. Need more."

"Jungkook..." your whole body goes rigid right away, untanglling your bodies from each other and sitting up on the mattress.

"No, listen to me." he mimicks your movements, rapidly grabbing your hands to make you look at him. His eyes are expressive, a mixture of fear and hope swirling in his dark irises. "I wake up everyday, and you're the first thing I think of. I go on about my day, and I keep thinking about you, wondering what you're doing and counting down the hours until I get to see you again. I spend every night dreaming about you, and when we'e together, the only thing I can think about is how I wish I could stop time so I don't have to say bye to you the next morning. ____, I-"

"Jungkook, stop please." you shake your head, pushing away from him and in desperate need of air. You press a hand against your chest, beating back the throb of pain while the other curls in a tight fist, the feeling of your fingernails digging into your palm less painful than the ache inside your heart. "This... This wasn't supossed to happen, Jungkook." you start pacing around the room, as if trying to find an exit while avoiding his gaze. "This was just a summer fling. That's all it was, I'm supposed to come back to the city in two weeks and-"

"A summer fling?" a sardonic sneer comes out of him. "Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening again..." he mumbles to himself before rising from the bed. You stop immediately, a shiver quaking through you as his impressive frame intimidates His eyebrows are drawn together and his dark eyes are void of any prior emotion. "You're going back to the city in two weeks? And you didn't care to tell me until now, after I just spilled my guts to you?"

You eyes fill up with uncomfortable tears, reaching one arm towards him. "Jung-"

He flinches, taking one step back. "A summer fling is all I mean to you?"

"Ju- "

"Look me in the eyes, right now, and tell me that's all I mean to you. A summer fling." panic crawls up your throat. There's the need within you to confirm, to stare into his beautiful and stern eyes and tell him that, yes, that's all he is to you. But you've never been a good liar. So nothing comes out. You opt for wrapping your ams around yourself wishing they were his and lowering your eyes to the ground. "I think... I think you should leave."

Those are the last words he says to you, and the last thing you see when you turn around one more time after gathering your clothes, is his back as he looks out the window.

You allow yourself to cry the exact moment you step into Chaelin's apartment. Your friend is sitting on the couch, bowl of cereal in hand and a fresh cup of coffee sitting on the livingroom's table.

"Hey, you're early tod- Baby, what's wrong?"

"Please, don't laugh."

That morning, you lay down for hours on the couch with your head on Chaelin's lap while she softly brushes your hair as you cry, hiccup, fight through the pain in your heart and relate to her as best as you can the latest events.

She doesn't laugh at all.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"She'll come back." Mijoo's slurred words do nothing to put Jungkook's state at ease that night. He simply shrugs, fingers clenching at his sides, frowing into his drink before gulping down the bitter taste of vodka in one shot. "Seriously, I think she's just afraid. My ex was the same."

"Comparing her to your ex is not the analogy you think it is."

"Ugh, shut up. Things didn't work with my ex because she was a bitch." Jungkook gives Mijoo a pointed look which she responds to by rolling her eyes and sipping on her rum coke. "Your girl is not a bitch. She used to be a bitch. What she did this morning was bitchy, but, like I said, she's just being a pussy. If she only wanted sex with you, she wouldn't have been doing couple stuff with you the entire summer."

"Whatever. I don't care." he lies and Mijoo knows he's lying but decides to drop the subject fo now.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"We can't keep spending our days smoking weed." Chaelin speaks over Blanche's voice on the TV.

"I know. I'm just sad."

"You have to come back and tell him how you feel."

"I know."

There's a beat of silence before your friend kicks your thigh with her feet.

"I know and I will." you mumble through red eyes and smoke clouds.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

It's September first and it doesn't feel like Jungkook's birthday at all. He's been trying to focus on his work, alternating between isolating in full hermit mode and hanging out with friends to drink away his sorrow. The days have gone by and before he could realize it, he woke up today with over twenty text messages wishing him a happy day and a throbbing hangover.

He dresses up on autopilot. First a cotton shirt, then a pair of jeans and lastly, his Nike's. He doesn't bother tying his sneakers just like he doesn't bother taking a shower. He smokes a cigarette for breakfast, the death stick making him feel nauseaus on an empty stomach. And then he goes to work.

He's been repeating the same routing for the past weeks and he's not thinking of changing it, not even on his bithday.

He spends hours drawing, tattooing and drawing some more between yawns. He ignores texts an phone calls and simply waits until the day is over to go home, go to bed and forget about the fact that you're probably on your way to the city and that he hasn't crossed your mind not even once.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Inkphoria.

You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping cup of ice cream as it melts down your fingers the more you wait. The shop is already empty and it's starting to darken out side, and still you're so hot. Your shorts are heavy and your tank top is sticking to your skin. You didn't even bother to put on any make, although your eyebags definitely needed some concieling and your lashes some dimension to hide the fact that you'd been crying for the last few days.

'You're crazy about him.'

Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.

You've lost count of how many times your best friend has given your advice, or simply encouraged you to do something you've been too scared to try.

'And he's cazy about you too.'

Chaelin might be wrong about marmite and the movie Cats, but she's definitely now wrong about anything regarding your and Jungkook.

That's it. You briefly close your eyes, inhale a deep breath then release it slowly. You start walking. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing the door open.

The tattoed blonde looks up from the counter the second you come into view. She smiles at the distance between you two. "You can come closer. I won't bite."

You clear your throat, stalking closer to her. "Is he-"

"He's in the back." she replies before you can finish you question. You close your mouth, clear your throat and nod your head.

"Thanks, Mijoo." she gives you a small wink, her smile easing your nerves like she had three months ago.

She watches you disappear. She shakes he head, her smile meeting her eyes. "I told him so."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Jungkook ignores the knock on his door at first. It's almost ten and the parlor is about to close. He just has to finish this last fucking sketch so he can grab his shit and go the fuck ho-

Knock knock.

He growls, exhasperation cursing through him. He runs a hand through his messy pile of hair, his rings tangling between the strands, making him wince in pain. "Come in." he grunts under his breath. The door opens. "Mijoo, I really have to finish-"

He stops dead in his tracks as soon as he sees you.

"Hey." you say after a moment of hesitation.

"Hey." he replies and although there's something inside, deep in his chest, shouting at him to stand up, run up to you and kiss your face while he tells you how beautiful you look right now and how happy he is to see that you're still here, he decides against it. "Listen, ____, I'm pretty busy-"

"No, you listen to me." you cut him off abruptly. He looks taken aback and is already opening his mouth to say something, but you're not having it. "Please, just... Let me talk."

Silence looms between the two of you for a while, a staring contest defying each other to back down. When you take one step inside and close the door behind you, he sighs and leans back against his chair.

You move towards him slowly, your lip caught between your lip going through your mind for the speech you'd been preparing the last few days. Your hands are sticky due to the the sugary treat liquifying in your hand. "I know there's no reason you should give me another chance after rejecting you in high school, and there's definitely no reason why you should forgive me for the way I shut you out a few weeks ago. You've been confessing your feelings to me since we were teenagers, and now it's my turn to tell you exactly how I feel about you."

"Jungkook, the truth is... I like you so much. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone. Ever. I said this was just a summer fling, and I was lying. I was lying because there's no way a simple summer fling could make me feel the way you do. There's no way a simple summer fling could make me want not just summer with you, but also fall and winter, and spring and every summer that comes next."

You hadn't realize when your eyes filling up with tears until the sight of him starts blurrying in front of you. His fingers reach yours, his thumb comforting on your skin. "____, it's okay-"

"I'm not done yet." you sniffle, gathering enough courage to continue. "I brought you a lemon sherbet because you said it was your favourite. But you also implied I was your favourite, and I want to keep being you favourite, but now it's already melted and-"

The corners of Jungkook's lips start pulling upward as he tugs you towards him, his heart loudly jumping inside his chest. "Shhh, come here."

He takes the ice cream from your hand and places it on his desk. Then he's helping you onto his lap, your head tucked under his chin and your arms wapping on their own around his neck.

He doesn't care about your sticky fingers or the wet stains of your tears in his shirt. The only thing he cares about is the fact that you're right there, letting him engulf your frame and drown in the scent and warmth he'd misses so much.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

The first day of June has Jungkook sweating and wishing for a haircut. Jungkook usually hates summer. He hates the fact that he has to shower at least twice a day, and the fact that the heat is almost unbearable to sleep in and also the fact that he's easily sunburnt.

This year, however, Jungkook likes summer a little bit more.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you have an appointment?" it's the fact that you're starting to wear those summer dresses he loves so much, and the fact that your skin glows under the sun like glitter, and also the fact that he can lick ice cream off of it whenever he desires.

"I am the appointment." your giggle is almost childlike, playing with Jungkook's heart strings. You shut the door behind you, nearing him. You also seem to always have that flush on your cheeks. Although he likes to think part of it is due to him. He doesn't say anything else as he puts his pencil down and instead turns around in the chair to have you immediately on top of his thighs.

Yeah, he also likes the path your lips trace from his cheek, to his jaw, ending at the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. It still makes his body quaver to this day.

"Let me see." he murmurs against you forhear, his hand already working on unbottoning the front of your dress.

"Mijoo hasn't left yet." you whisper back, your smile impossible to supress and the faint whimper impossible to hide when his fingers expose your breast and tug at the titanium barbell adorning the already hardened nub.

Jungkook loves knowing he was the one to do that, and also the only one to play with it. He doesn't hesitate when he dips his head. "As if we'd ever cared about that." he adds, wrapping your sole point in his mouth.

He fucks you on his studio table with your legs around his waist and his tongue playing with both your breasts, the tattoo sketches long forgotten, scattered on the floor as he whispers against your flesh something that sounds a lot like 'I love you'.

[dbnightingale24]

All I Want For Christmas Is You

Holiday Mr. Freezy One Shot

~~

Okay, so I’m just gonna start this off by saying that this is the darkest I’ve ever written. If you’re not into dark stories, PLEASE DO NOT READ this. Now, this is supposed to be a holiday follow up to ‘The Darker Side Of You’, but there was no way I could post this on Christmas lol. I almost didn’t post this at all, but thanks to @jtargaryen18 (a true angel), I am. Idk, buckle up and get ready for holiday cheer...Mr. Freezy style.

Word Count: 6558

Warnings: 18+, MINORS STAY FAR AWAY FROM THIS, dub-con, talks of murder, implied child murder, suicide attempt, SMUT, fluff (but like...Mr. Freezy fluff, so it’s a warning), murder, swearing, smoking, drinking, smoking, drinking, fighting, arguing, depression, conspiring to commit murder, murder kink, Stockholm Syndrome ...just read with caution. Read at your own risk and responsibly.

Summary: Robert was slowly turning you into his perfect little homemaker, but what happens when he decides that sharing you with anyone is out of the question?

I do not give permission or consent for my works/stories to be posted elsewhere. I DO NOT condone any of this behavior, this is purely for entertainment purposes.

~~

“Fuck me harder, please!” you softly slur as you beg Robert who is fucking you senseless from behind.

“C’mon baby, I know you can be louder than that for me,” he pants, his grip on you getting tighter.

“Shit! Tommy is sleeping-”

“Who gives a fuck?!” he exclaims, frustrated, and he pulls out.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” you snap, turning to face him and laying on your back.

“You’re so worried about waking up Tommy-”

“Oh, don’t start being a little bitch because everything isn’t about you all the fucking time!”

“Watch it-” he warned, darkness and lust very present in his eyes.

“Or what? The fucking least you could do is get me off! Jesus, I play along with this fucked up and ridiculous charade enough, don’t I?”

“If I recall correctly, you were all too happy to play along when you heard Samantha crying and begging for me not to fuck you while she was tied up,” he chuckled darkly, a devilish smile on his face. “And when I strangled her to death, you watched with pure glee as you got yourself off, then sucked my cock like the little whore you are as soon as her last breath left her body.”

“Fuck Robert,” you moan softly, not breaking eye contact with him as you clench your thighs together in a weak attempt to fight off the pressure building up between your legs.

“You were such a good little slut for me that night and I want you to be just as good tonight, you understand you little bitch?”

“Robert-”

“I don’t give a fuck if he’s sleeping! Bring him up one more time and I’ll solve the problem myself,” he warns ominously.

“You’re such a fucking asshole,” you scowl with a small hiccup “you wanna hear me scream?” you ask opening your legs. “Fucking work for it, you piece of shit.”

“Gladly,” he growls before pulling you towards him roughly as a small, drunken giggle escapes you.

**

You and Robert have been living in a sick and twisted hell for almost two years. Two years since Robert ruined the life you loved & forced you into hell with him.

You aren’t any closer to loving him but he’s all you have. He made sure to make himself all you had. He got you to stop talking to your friends and made sure to alienate you from your family (all by threatening to murder them), and he barely let you go out without him. The only time being when you needed to go grocery shopping, but even that had its setbacks. If you weren’t in the house after an hour and a half, he made sure to punish you later on at night.

You remember the first time you decided to test those waters and how it ended.

“Where the fuck were you?” Robert growled for the third time as you got dinner ready in your parents house.

“I’ve already told you-”

“Samantha gets grocery shopping in half the time-”

“Do I fucking look like Samantha to you? Besides, she isn’t being held captive in her own fucking house,” you muttered as you took a glass out of the cabinet.

“Y/N, I swear to Christ, you been talkin’ to the fuckin’-”

“The fucking who, Robert? The cops? My friends? My family? You’ll what? Kill them? Kill me? I fucking wish you so I could free of you, finally!” you snapped, finally reaching your breaking point.

You heard his fist colliding with your face before you felt it.

“I better not fucking find out you’re doing shit that you shouldn’t be doing, you little bitch,” he spat before roughly gripping your hair. “Or I swear to God, I’ll make you wish that I’d slowly killed you in that fucking warehouse,” he warned in a low growl.

“You’re acting like I don’t already,” you replied coldly before pushing him away from you and storming out of kitchen.

Yes, you told yourself he was all you had, but deep down in places you don’t and won’t talk about, some small part of you started to care for him.

You figured it would only a matter of time, because he was the only other person in your life. You cleaned his wounds, you listened to him when he vented his frustrations, you made him dinner, you fucked him daily, and he took care of you.

No, he was no fucking knight in shinning armor, but if you let yourself ignore what was happening, you could pretend just enough. Pretend he wasn’t a monster, pretend he hadn’t destroyed your life, pretend he hadn’t ripped almost every bit of innocence left in you, and pretend that he wasn’t turning you into someone you weren’t particularly a fan of.

However, for as much s you’ve started to care for him, it will never how much you hate him. How much you truly despise him for ruining everything.

But what could you do? Robert made it very clear that he was never going to set you free, and that you’d never leave his side.

At first, it was hell on earth. Especially after the funeral for Samantha. Killing his wife had been the first gift he’d ever given you. Yes, Robert was the one who had ruined your life, but by Samantha turning a blind eye to his cheating and never questioning what he did for a living, she was just as responsible as far as you were concerned.

The funeral was extremely mundane and you thought of telling everyone that it had been your idea, just so they would stop offering sympathy and leave you alone. It wasn’t enough that you had made it through the whole day without rolling your eyes and scoffing as everyone offered Robert their sympathies and condolences. No, you had to sit there and pretend to be the neighbor who took sympathy and felt bad for him and his son, Tommy. Who had to be sad that she lost a good family friend when she had just lost her parents not too long ago.

The whole thing was pathetic.

Whenever you think about that night, it has you excited and yearning for Robert in all the ways you shouldn’t.

“Fuck, just like that, baby,” Robert grunted as you continued to grind your hips against his and your clit rubbed against his pelvis. “Best fuckin' pussy I’ve ever been in!”

“Why....how could you both do this!?” Samantha cried from the chair she was bound to, blood dripping from her mouth and nose. “I trusted you, Y/N! You fucking bitch!”

“Oh? Aren’t you just a dirty fucking slut?” Robert groaned with a sick smile as you clenched around him and he started kneading your nipples between his fingers, as your pace quickened. “Keep goin’, Sam. It’s gettin’ her off,” he chuckled.

“I hate you both! I hate you both so fucking much!” she wailed and it was just enough to send you over the edge into one of the most powerful orgasms you’d ever had with Robert’s name leaving your lips as a desperate cry.

“You okay baby?” Robert asked, caressing your face softly. When all you did was nod, he pulled you close and kissed you deeply, and it almost felt as if he genuinely gave a shit about you. “Another round or do you think now is a good time?”

“I could do this all night,” you smirked, still coming down from your high, “but Tommy has school in a few hours and someone needs to be there when he wakes up.”

“Such a good girl,” Robert chuckled before kissing you again.

“Tommy? If you think you’re keeping Tommy after all this-”

“Shut the fuck up,” Robert interrupted harshly. “Did you really think I would beat the shit out of you and let you go? Fuck Y/N in front of you for hours and let you just leave? God, you really are a stupid cunt,” he scoffed as you slowly got off of him, groaning in dissatisfaction at the fact that he was no longer filling you up.

“What do you mean-”

“I’m going to fucking kill you. If you ask me, it’s been long overdue,” he smirked as you lit your own cigarette before using it to light his and pass it to him.

“What?! No! You wouldn’t! You can’t! HELP!” she screamed, her tears coming harder.

“No one can fucking hear you,” you laughed, before taking another drag from your cigarette. “Trust me, he held me here for two weeks.”

“He...he what?! Y/N, you have to believe me when I tell you that I didn’t know-”

“But you knew that he was cheating on you,” you snapped. “You knew that he was keeping secrets about what he does for a living, but you decided to turn a blind eye to it, because it made your life easier! He killed my parents! He brought me here and raped me until he was all I wanted! He was able to destroy my life because you did nothing!” you yelled as Robert chuckled. “So now, I’m going to sit here and do nothing as he takes your life. I’m going to sit here, enjoy it, get off on it, and then I’m going to fuck him in front of your lifeless body. You wanna know why? Because it’s the fucking least I could do to thank you,” you smirked before laying back on the bed.

“I fucking love it when you’re an evil little bitch,” Robert smiled at you before taking a final drag from his cigarette and throwing it to the ground. “Lets get this over with so I can get back to perfect little pussy.”

“No baby, this is my gift. I want you to drag it out like you promised,” you moaned as you started to softly rub your clit.

“Whatever you want, Sweetheart. You’re the one calling the shots tonight,” he shrugged. “God, I’ve waited so fucking long to do this,” he laughed darkly at Samantha before wrapping his hands around her throat.

Once Samantha was finally dead, you were on your knees for Robert in almost an instant. Happy to please him in any way he wanted since he gave you the one thing you truly wanted most of all.

However, with Samantha’s death came the job of now playing lovers with Robert, which didn’t come without its setbacks.

“You’re not gonna fucking sleep around on me, Pronge!” you shouted as you two stood in your parents living room.

“Someone jealous?” he chuckled.

“No, you piece of shit! If this is to be my new life now, you’re going to make it somewhat bearable. That includes me not not looking like the town fool!”

“Or what? You’ll leave me?” he laughed, taking out a cigarette and placing it between his lips.

“No, I’ll try to fucking kill myself again, and I’ll succeed this time because I’ll shoot myself with one of your guns,” you replied coolly and you saw his entire demeanor change.

He had instantly remembered your last attempt after the last physical fight you two got into.

You usually backed down and just sulked, but that night you fought back with all the energy and courage you had, not giving up until he had you pinned against the bedroom door and fucked you roughly and painfully, before leaving you on the floor and going out to do whatever it was he needed or wanted to do that night.

You’d stayed on that floor and cried for hours, before forcing yourself downstairs and into the kitchen and deciding that enough was enough. Who you were becoming, what you were allowing, and what got you off only made you hate yourself more each day. You had never been this person and you didn’t want to become more and more unfamiliar with yourself.

You refused to keep going on like this.

You found the sharpest knife and took it to your wrists and just let yourself sink down onto the floor, memories of your life flashing before your eyes as the world around you started to fade out.

The good and the bad.

“Y/N!?” Robert drunkenly called, as he slammed the door shut behind him.

You said nothing an hoped the darkness would consume you before he’d have a chance to save you.

“Y/N!? Don’t fuckin’ make me...Jesus Christ!” he exclaimed as he ran to your side, napkins and towels in hand. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“I...I have to go,” you stated simply before slipping away.

“Fuckin’ bitch! Don’t you dare fuckin’ die on me!” was the last thing you heard before the darkness took you.

When you woke up, to your dismay, there was a white light and a lot of beeping machines.

‘He’d got me to the hospital in time? Fuck!’ you thought to yourself as you slowly came to, trying run your hands through your hair, only to find that you’d been restrained. ‘Fucking great.’

“You’re up,” Robert slurred softly, his gaze on you soft. “What the fuck were you thinking?!”

“I think it’s pretty clear what I was thinking,” you croaked, your mouth dry, as you looked away from him. “You couldn’t be kind just let me fucking die?”

“You really think I’d ever let you take yourself from me? That I’d let anyone or anything take you from me?” he questioned angrily. “What the fuck am I supposed to do without you?!”

“I don’t know, be a better parent to Tommy? Be a parent, at all?” you questioned with a laugh. “Maybe not be a fucking murderer,” you muttered to yourself.

“Fuck him! All he does and bitch and complain!” Robert scowled as he sank further into his seat.

Before you could even open your mouth to respond, the doctor came in and decided to explain everything to Robert, since he’d put himself as your emergency contact on the clipboard.

From then on, things changed drastically between you and Robert.  

He never laid a hand on you again, he stopped sleeping around (which you could tell by all the glares you received from the women around the little suburban hell you two called home), he was never out or away too late, he made an attempt to be at least pleasant, and he attempted to be romantic by buying you skimpy outfits that you could wear for him around the house.

He also hid all of his weapons from you.

In an attempt to accept your hell with grace and dignity, you did your best to be civil. When he came home with blood on himself, his clothes, or both, you didn’t look at him with pure disgust, you didn’t question him about work, you tried to have dinner ready for him when he came home, and you made yourself available to him for whatever he wanted whenever he wanted.

You also, in a way, started care more.

You’d never allow yourself to believe that he loved you, but on some level, he did to seem give somewhat of a shit about you. Or, at least, he was obsessed enough to take care of you.

Well, take care of you in a way that suited him.

No, it was by no means romantic or deal, but you’d done everything in your power to get away from him and it hadn’t worked at all. The only thing left to do was give up and accept your fate.

This also meant you’d have to accepted the role of step-mother to Tommy.

That was the other thing.

What also came along with Samantha’s death was the hardest challenge: raising Tommy.

You know that your own cruel and evil desires are what drove to the current hell you were living in, but Tommy is part of the reason you decided to play house with Robert. Tommy had done nothing to deserve the current life he was living and being left with the worst parent on planet earth, so you took it upon yourself to fill the roll of being a mother.

Well, to the best of your ability.

Before Robert came along, you craved to be the type of mother your own mother had been. Loving, thoughtful, strong, funny, caring, brave, and devoted. You couldn’t wait to have a family of your own with your own ‘Mr. Right’ and to take on motherly duties. You really did try with Tommy but you just couldn’t do it. It’s not like there was anything wrong with the child. He was sweet, compassionate, loving, innocent, and so incredibly considerate. No, the issue wasn’t so much Tommy as much as it was who his parents were. You’d hated his mother and you tolerate his father because he’s all you have at this point.

You looked at Tommy now and saw regret and felt anger.

It’s not like Robert hadn’t noticed how unhappy you were. He’d gotten you pregnant twice and both times you’d aborted them, just like you’d told him you would. Yeah, there was hell to pay, but it was worth it as long as you didn’t have to bring another Pronge into the world.

“I can snap his neck and you wouldn’t even know. He’ll just look like he’s sleeping,” Robert suggested one night as he put the video camera away, like it was no big deal.

“Shut the fuck up!” you snapped, pulling your nightgown on “don’t you touch a hair on that boy’s head!”

“Why not? He’s unhappy, you’re unhappy-”

“Enough Robert,” you warned as you got out of bed to clean yourself off.

“We should get married. That way, when you’re pregnant with my kid, the town won’t think of you as a whore. Hell, you’d have two Pronge’s of your own if you’d stop killing them.”

“I’m not fucking marrying you, Robert, or having your fucking kids. I’m playing house with you, that’s enough. Besides, I saw what you did to your last wife, no fucking thanks.”

“I did that for you, baby,” he smirked as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “And if I recall correctly, you fucking loved it.”

“Yeah, so I’m not setting myself up to be the next Mrs. Pronge for you to kill in front of your next deranged sex slave.”

“You know you mean more to me than that.”

“I fucking hate you,” you spat as you looked at your reflections in the bathroom mirror

“I know you do, baby. And I love you,” he responded softly, before forcing you to bend over and thrusting himself into you.

Since that conversation, you’ve done your best to love Tommy as your own. To be patient with him, to make time for him, to help him, and to care for him since you know Robert never will. However, the harder you tried to love him, the harder it became. He needed a mother and you just didn’t know how to be one for him. Before everything happened, you loved him with every fiber of your being. But now? Now, you can’t look at him and see anything besides Samantha and Robert.

How the hell were you going to raise him to be a stable and capable adult? How were you supposed to raise him to be better than his father? How were you supposed to be his way out when all you wanted to do was pretend that he doesn’t exist?

Robert’s P.O.V

As I watch you bring in the mail, mindlessly going through junk and invites for Christmas parties, I can’t stop the smile that comes to my face at your dissatisfaction.

“Do we feel like bullshitting through another Christmas party with the Kingsley’s?” you sigh as you take a seat at the kitchen isle.

“What do you wanna do?”

“I wanna stay home.”

“Home?”

“Here. Don’t fucking start,” you snap.

“This is your childhood home, Sweetie.”

“Yeah, too bad you fucking tainted it.”

“You know, you did tell me love me last night,” I remind you, a small sick smile on my lips.

“Fuck you, I was drunk. I would’ve told you anything you wanted for you to bring me off,” you mutter before getting up and grabbing a glass so you can pour yourself a drink.

“Oh honey, you don’t mean that,” I can’t help but laugh as I light a cigarette. I’ll never get over how much you hate me and I don’t want to.

It only makes me love you more.

“Fuck, we have to get Tommy’s Christmas gifts!” you snap, stomping your foot, probably angry with the fact that we’ll have to put up with Christmas traffic and shitty weather.

Or just at the fact that you have to deal with Tommy at all.

“We don’t have to.”

“Robert, I know you don’t give a fuck about your child, who fucking worships you for whatever reason, but I do. He’s getting toys on Christmas,” you mutter.

“Get him a toy gun,” I laugh as you shoot me a glare.

“You’re not fucking funny. Get your shit together, we’re leaving in 20 minutes, and you’re the one paying for everything, since you’re the one with the fucking job.”

As you storm upstairs, I can’t help but think about how bitter you’ve been these last few months. Of course, I know it’s my fucking fault, but it’s more than that. This is the life you’ve dreamed of and you hate every aspect of it.

Even Tommy.

The boy you once adored and thought the world of, you now resent and can’t wait to put to sleep. It doesn’t help that the time you take to pretend you care for the boy, takes away from time that you can spend with me.

I can put the little shit up for adoption, but knowing Tommy and how emotional he is, he’d find his way back and want answers.

Not like he deserves them.

I can also hand him off to Samantha’s family, but that once again gives him the opportunity to come back and be a pain in my ass.

No, the easiest and nicest thing to do is get rid of him. Yeah, the kid deserves a better father, a better family, but if he’s dead he’ll be reunited with his cunt mother.

At least, that’s what he’s been brought up to believe. Poor kid never had a chance.

Besides, why should I have to share you with anyone? I do shit for everyone else all the fucking that could kill me or get me locked up. You’re the one good thing in my life and I don’t want to share you, so I’m going to.

Sure, you’ll be mad at me for it, but when aren’t you mad at me? The sex is better anyway. No matter how many times I try to break you, you bounce back and this won’t be any different.

At some point, you’ll probably even thank me for not letting you get to hate him as much as you hate me.

“Pronge, lets go!” you call as you make your way back down the steps. “And you better not be cheap about it either!”

“Comin’ Sweetheart.”

It’s sick how happy I feel finally being able to have you all to myself. There’s no heaven for guys like me, but in your arms and in-between those legs is the closest I’ll get, and I’ll be dammed if I let anyone get in the way of that.

Even my own fucking kid.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“I love my gifts, Mama!” Tommy exclaims as he runs over and wraps you in a giant hug. You want this moment to fill me with an extreme amount of love and happiness, but you just can’t wait for him to get off of me.

“And what do you say to your dad?” you ask, giving him the most genuine and loving smile I can muster.

“Thank you, Daddy!” Tommy beams, ready to run over to him, but Robert holds out his hand while a smile plays on his lips.

“If you wanna thank me, go out and play on you new bike.”

“Really? It’s Christmas and Mama Sam-”

“Things are different now,” he chuckles. “Take a few rides around the block and tell me what you think.”

“Thanks Daddy!” Tommy yells as he dresses up in his snow gear before taking his bike outside

“That was sweet, Bobby,” you smile once the door closes. “He’s so happy.”

“I just want you to myself. I knew if I got him that fucking bike, he’d leave us alone for a few hours.”

“So sweet, so romantic,” you scoff as you start to clean up the torn up wrapping paper.

“Stop, deal with all of that shit later,” Robert scoffs. “C’mere.”

“What do you want?” you groan, though a very small part of you is glad to be alone with him and getting Tommy the fuck away from you.

God, you hate him for turning me into this. For ruining you.

“Come sit on Daddy’s lap,” he smirks.

“What do you want?” you ask once I straddle him, already knowing what he wants.

“Did you like the gift I gave you?”

“An orgasm? Yeah, it was amazing.”

“Don’t be a bitch,” he warned “the fuckin’ necklace.”

“It was nice, thank you,” you smile before dipping down to kiss him.

He almost feels like home. Two more glasses of the egg nog he made and he will.

As you start to deepen the kiss, you scowl when you see Tommy’s gloves out of the corner of your eye. “Shit!”

“What?”

“Tommy forgot his fucking gloves and he needs them. It’s freezing and the last thing I need is for him to get sick.”

“Leave ‘em, he’ll be fine,” Robert shrugs before attempting to pull you close to him again.

“Your dick can wait a few minutes,” you laugh before attempting to get up again, only to have him pull you close again. Rougher.

“He ain’t gonna fuckin’ need ‘em, Sweetheart.”

“What do you mean he won’t...what the fuck did you do, Robert?!”

“Great, we’re back to fuckin’ Robert now,” he scowls as he lets go of you and reaches for his pack of cigarettes. “I was really hoping this would happen after we fucked,” he muttered as he lit one and took a drag from it.

“What the fuck did you do?” you repeat, a chill running down your spine.

“The one thing you truly wanted, but would never ask for.”

“Robert-”

“I got rid of Tommy. Well, I’m getting rid of Tommy. Kid still has a few more minutes before he gets hit,” Robert sighs as he checks his watch. “Figure I’d let him enjoy that bike for a bit. A nice going away gift,” he laughs before he takes another drag from his cigarette.

“Jesus Christ! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Here we fuckin’ go,” he huffs, pushing himself out of the Laz-y chair and making his way into the kitchen.

“What the...he’s your son! How the fuck-”

“I never wanted him! God, I told that stupid cunt that I didn’t want kids, but she went and got pregnant anyway! The kid’s been a nuisance since he fuckin’ arrived,” he spat, pouring himself a drink.

“Robert-”

“Come the fuck on! YOU don’t even wanna fuckin’ deal with him! He’s too stupid to see it, but I can see it clear as day! You hate spending time with him, you hate how needy he is, you can’t stand it when he touches you-”

“I don’t want him dead, Robert! Call it off!”

“No,” he responds coolly, evil smile on his lips.

“Fucking call it off!” you roar at him.

“No, because it’s easier this way. I don’t have to deal with any fucking clean up this time, we don’t have to worry about him finding us and wanting answers, and I don’t have to deal with him crying over that cunt anymore. Jesus, the fucking crying with that boy,” he mutters before taking a sip of his scotch before taking a final drag from his cigarette and putting it out.

“Robert-”

“I’d planned to be deep inside of that fucking pussy by now, and our fucking neighbors will probably be here in the next hour, so,” he huffs before throwing you over his shoulder, “I think we should get started.”

“Put me down!” you scream, wiggling and fighting against him, trying to think of any way to save Tommy.

“No, I get that you need to pretend to be angry, but I’ve waited long enough,” he snaps, continuing the trip up the steps with ease.

“Pretend?! Robert-”

“I get it, Sweetheart,” he chuckles before throwing you down on the bed and quickly hovering over you. “You still have your good girl ways and you need to save him. You need to pretend that you care enough to save him, but we both know you fuckin’ don’t,” he smirks as he rips your skirt off.

“Stop it!” you yell, trying to push him off of you.

“Oh baby, you know I only love it more when you fight me, but then again, it has been a while since I’ve had to take what I want,” he chuckles darkly.

“Fuck you!”

“Think about it, baby,” he whispers hotly against your ear as his hand travels down into your panties.

“Stop it,” you moan softly, your will to fight quickly fading and you hate how easily your body comes undone for him at this point.

“You don’t have to wake up early to drive him to school anymore,” he groans as he starts rubbing your clit teasingly “you don’t have to pick him up, you don’t have to comfort him when he cries, you don’t have to help him with his fucking homework, and you don’t have to pretend you fucking care about him.”

“No,” you moan as you feel your release coming on.

“I know baby, I know you need to hate me and that’s okay,” he moans he slides two fingers into your desperate and soaked cunt. “Be my good little girl and pretend to be angry with me.”

“So what? I’m...fuck! I’m supposed to feel special even though one day...one day I’ll end up like Samantha and Tommy?” you whimper as you cum hard. “Why do you even want kids with me?!”

“Oh baby, don’t you see?” he asks as he forces those two fingers into your mouth, forcing you to taste how desperate and pathetic you’ve become for him. “Your parents, the neighbors, Samantha, my son, I did that all for you! As for our own kids,” he chuckles darkly “our kids will be nothing like Tommy. His mother was weak and he’s weak too, but you...you’re gonna be so much better for our kids,” he coos before removing his fingers from your mouth and ripping your shirt open. “Fuck!” he growls, quickly going to undo and pull down his pants and boxers.

“You haven’t done any of this for me,” you whimper, desperate for him to fill you up, and ignoring the part of you that’s relieved that you’ll never have to deal with Tommy again. Of course you don’t want Tommy dead, and you hate the part of you that doesn’t feel completely terrible, but knowing you’d never have to deal with the spawn of two Satan’s again?

That has you feeling elated.

“I know you don’t believe me and I I’d be disappointed if you did,” he chuckles darkly before thrusting himself inside of you, and gaining a loud and pornographic moan from you “but it’s true.”

“Fuck,” you moan as he starts to pump into you rough and greedy. The way you love. “Please don’t stop!” you beg, starting to claw at his back as you wrap one of your legs around his waist, and your back arches a little.

“There’s my dirty little thing,” he laughs looking down at you as you’re desperate mess beneath him, loving how he always gives you what you want without even having to ask. “Got everything I wanted for Christmas,” he grunts as his thrusts become erratic as one of his hands starts to massage one of your breasts “because all I wanted for Christmas was you,” he shouts as he shoots his load into you, you following right behind, screaming his name. “All...all I’ll ever want,” he breathes after a moment “is you.”

“I fucking hate you. I hate you for turning me into this,” you sob as you come down from your high, disgusted with yourself.

No matter what, you’re always disgusted with yourself, but it’s never enough to get you to find any real fault with Robert.

“I love how much you hate me. I love you,” he breathes as he looks at his watch. “We’ve got another 30 minutes before someone comes to tell us about Tommy, so I think we should get in one more round before we have to start pretending again, don’t you?” he questions with a devilish glint in his eyes.

You look him deep in his eyes, looking for any sign of remorse, sadness, or shame, but you see none. Instead, you see elation, greed, relief and something...soft? You can’t quite put your finger on it, but it’s not the first time you’ve seen it.

It’s in this moment that you realize that he’ll never let you go and he’ll never let you leave him.

And at this point, maybe you don’t want him to.

When you don’t respond, his wicked grin that you’ve come to desire spreads across face as he starts to move within’ you again, and you can’t stop the moan that es escapes you. “Sweetheart,” he rasps with an intense gaze on you “there’s nothing better than this. You all to myself. Don’t have to share you with anyone else and don’t have to worry about anyone comin’ between us,” he grunts as he picks up his pace and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders. “Merry Christmas indeed.”

                                                      The End

~~

taglist: @fuckingbye, @whxre4cevans, @sweetflowerdreams

[drippingmoon]

This or That Writer Edition

Done this before, but y'know, you're completely right @sleepy-night-child. I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to ramble some more because I really feel like it. Thanks so much, nightfriend❤ this really is therapeutic

And for that matter, anyone can join me. Open tag<3 the questions will be, uh, behind the cut.

1. historical or futuristic

I kinda love reading about history hahaha, and it was mostly fantasy in medieval settings that got me into writing, so this is a no-brainer. (Even my sci-fi shortie will have some dated technology🤣 for plot reasons, of course)

2. the opening or closing chapter

Mmm idk what it is about them, but endings always come to me naturally🥰 surprisingly with 'quiv it was both, but it was also meant to be a short story before it spun out of control🤷‍♀️ and though I kinda know where I wanna start Icy, fun fact! I have the endings for all three books down and detailed😇 I guess it's always the ending that draws me to writing a story🥺

3. light + fluffy or dark + gritty

how do you even separate them. Okay, when I first started writing I was all for the latter, but that changed quickly. 'Quiv has me loving it as much as I do especially because at its core it was a warmer, gentler story full of hope🥰

4. animal companion or found family

Before 'quiv, my casts used to be fully animal or >50% comprised of animal characters. Even now angel mannerisms are more bird-like in nature than human🤣 animals have always owned my entire heart❤ you've never known true love until you've had it curl in your lap🥺 Also, I'm all for the 'two people against the world' which doesn't really fit found families

5. horror or romance

Just saying, the Turning🤷‍♀️ and some of you might know I'm all about platonic love, soooo. Oh, and my sci-fi shortie will also be horror🤔 though I guess Icy breaks the mold and is a romantic comedy...

6. hard or soft magic system

Can't really have dances and song as time and emotion magic feature as a hard system. And I like to surprise myself when writing too🤣 so no systems. Would make me anxious and 100% like all my plans I would *not* follow them lol

7. standalone or series

...not gonna lie, I'm really drawn to series🤣 but that's also how I got burnt out, and since 'quiv is my love, I'll go with standalones. They're a much different writing experience🤔 feel a lot more compact. There's no "later", and that hit differently and in a good way😳

8. one project at a time or always juggling 2+

I did try juggling. I really did. I said, if I get in the mood to start something else, then that's what I'm gonna do. But apparently only one wip can devour my entire mind at a time, and though I can brainstorm for the others, after a few hours I just yearn to go back to 'quiv, you know? It's complete brainrot🥰🥰

9. one award winner or one bestseller

One finished book, I digress lmao

10. fantasy or sci-fi

^same as the historical/futuristic one. I guess fantasy doesn't have aliens🤔 and it's been growing on me lately with all y'all wips🥺🥰 but fantasy will always be my beloved

11. character or setting description

Character descriptions run the risk of turning into lists😬 I mean, settings also should. But for some reason they've also come more naturally to me, and I enjoy them loads more🥰 and lately I've started describing characters like settings, ie 'as beautiful as rain' 🤣🤣 but that's cheating. Also also. Let me just say. Star descriptions🥺 idk how angels in space came to me as an idea, but it was by far the best I've ever had. I have so much fun writing the setting💞

12. first or final draft

If final drafts are anything like, second, third, fourth drafts, then first drafts oh my god

13. Literary or commercial genre

I don't believe in these genres lol

14. love triangle in everything or no romance arcs

Never seen the appeal about love triangles, but then again I'm not a romance person. Just give me two people loving each other deeply and it'll turn into 'quiv I'll be satisfied🥰🥰 and no, for the record, it doesn't have to be carnal for it to be love or soulmates to me

15. constant sandstorm or rainstorm

How can you not love rain?? For plot-related reasons or not, once it gets to the rainy season I really feel like it's restored some life to me🥰🥰 and rainy settings are godsends for scenes. That, and I've never been fond of desert settings

[mrshollandstansprouse]

Werk B.B smut

Summary: you and bucky are roommates, and like each other. You two are very close, and one day after a bad day of work he is there for you.

Warning: dirty talk, cussing, degradation? And Bucky. Idk ITS SMUT AND A LIL FLUFF!<3

Whats the best after a long day of work?

Some say a bath or a hobby, family or something. I say bucky.

Bucky is my roommate, and is very fun to hang with. Not really, but he listens as I rant about everything. We have gotten close, but I crave more. I want him, all of him, everyday, every hour, every second. I want him so bad its start to become an issue. When he walks out of the bathroom, how low the towel hangs done. The way the water falls from his hair and drips done his abs. The way he cook, sometimes. He plays music and sways to the beat.

There are day I miss him so much I look at photos I have of him. When he is on missions I count done the seconds til his return. I sound pathetic, but I love him.

So after the day I have all I want is to see him. I get past the crowd and into the elevator, on our way up I think of him. I dont I've stopped since I met him.

The ring that the elevator makes signaling we are on our floor. The door slide open and I dash as quick as I can to our door. It burst him open, there he is. "Hey" I say, it comes with a sigh of relief. "Hey doll" he pats the seat next to him. I slide off my shoes and go sit next to him, I rest my head on his shoulder. "How was work?" He asks with sincerity. I smile, at the thought of him actually caring. "Awful" I laugh. He snuggles up to me, "wanna watch TV and order some food?" He suggests, "that sound awesome Buck, let me change first."

I need to get out of these clothes, I changed into one of his t shirts and a pair of shorts. I go back to the living room, where he on the phone ordering us some food. I grab 2 beers, and set them one the table and grab a blanket.

"It'll be awhile." We lay down on the couch and snuggle up again. We turn on friends, the best TV show ever. After a episode its hard to keep my eyes open, and in the warm embrace of him. I drift off to sleep...

Bucky starts shifting, spooning me. Which wakes me up, "Buck?" I whisper. He does a little snore, then mumbles.

I try to fall back to sleep but remote must have fell between us, cause its poking my lower back. Bucky moves him hands down to my waist, and a little moan escapes his lips. Butterflies fill my stomach, I realize that it isn't the remote. He uses his hand to thrust into me, through my shorts. He does it a few more times, before he moans my name. That's it, he can't just dream fuck me!

I turn over and shake him a little, "bucky?" I whisper yell at him. "Hmmmm" he responds. "Buck you umm you good?" I ask like I should be embarrassed. His eyes widen as he realizes.

"Shit! Y/N I am so sorry..." I hold in my laugh. "Buck its ok." I say

He shakes his head "No No No No No cause all I want is for to relax, let me take care of you, try to sleep, ruined it. This was gonna be a great night I planned it a bath food a nap..." he continues. My heart melts, he was trying to make a perfect night for me. I wanna kiss him, I want him!

With that I shut him up by kissing him, it doesn't take a millisecond for his to respond. His tounge pushes a way into my mouth, exploring every where. He deepens the kiss by pulling me onto his lap, making me straddle him. His dick still hard from his dream, and my shorts are wet from him dream fucking me.

He lips move from mine to kiss down my jaw, then down to my chest. He groans when he reaches his t shirt, he starts to slide it over my head. "No bra doll? You dirty little slut." I can't form a sentence, I just let out a moan. "Words love, use your words." He says sucking one my chest. "Yes bucky!" I cry out. His smirks reflects on my stomach, he moves lower and lower. Till he reaches my shorts, "I have wanted to take these off of you since you put them on." He groans.

He places his hands on my hips, I arch my back as far as it goes. I let out a shriek as he picks me up, brings me into his room. Slams me on his bed, and dives right in between my legs. A harshly yanks my shorts off, and my underwear with it.

"You are so wet for me doll, such a good slut." He kitten licks my clit, and again I arch my back. He teases my clit with a finger before slowly sliding it into me. I moan like its going to save me when he adds another one.

"Bucky I'm gon-"

"Cum for me doll." The vibrations from his words go through my core and push me over the edge. Bucky guides me through it, when he lifts his face its dripping, his goofy smile spread across him face. He lays down next to me, and take his pants off along with his boxers. He pats his thighs, and I climb onto them. He brushes his cock along my fold, and I whimper. "Use your words slut!" He says. "Plea-please fuck me bucky!" I say pathetically

He complies and thrusts into me, I can feel him splint me in half. "Oh fuck bucky!" He keeps a steady a pace. With groans here and there. I let my head fall against the bed, panting. My eyes roll back into my head, he taps my stomach where you can clearly see a bulge. I wanna scream, the pain mixed with pleasure. I open my mouth but nothing comes out, "Hey hey stay with me." He laughs. And slows down his movements.

I can feel the knot in my stomach tightening. "Mmm such a good little slut for me. You like it when I fuck you senseless, don't ya?" He asks cockily. "Bu- i- go-" I give up on saying anything. The feeling of pain dissolved into pleasure. "Cum around my cock doll." The filthy words comingout of his mouth help push me over the edge, but its when he start sucking on my neck the does it. He keeps going for a minute until his thrusts get sloppy. I can feel mine and his mixing inside of me.

He slowly pulls out, and I whimper at the lost of contact. He gets something to clean me up, and uses the cloth to wipe my thighs. "You good? I didn't hurt ya did I?" He examines me, and I laugh. "No im good, but starving!" I say.

"SHIT THE FOOD?!" he laughs again. He steps out and checks the door, the food is right there.

He comes back in and I sit up one the bed. And grab the shirt he was just wearing and throw it on. I look at the night stand, and use it to push myself off the bed. I try to walk out but my legs betry me, I would have fell onto the ground if bucky didn't catch me. "Hey, I was just coming to get you." He says, picking me up bridal style. "Bucky put me down!" I whine, he walks over to the couch. Sets me down, grabs a pillow and a blanket. He makes sure I'm comfortable, turns on friends, and gives me my food. He sits next to me, cuddling up for a moment while we eat.

After we are done, he comes back from the bathroom. "I have a surprise!" He says. "You just came from the bathroom, should I be scared?" I say. He rolls his eyes at me, and come gets me. Again in bridal style, and brings me into the bathroom. Where candles are lit, music is playing lightly, rose petals are scattered on the floor, bubbles cover the water.

"I wanted to give you your surprise earlier but we fell asleep." He smiles. I love this man so much. I grab onto his head and kiss him, but before we get carried away I pull away. "Thank you bucky." I say.

He sets me down, and we both start to get undressed. "You coming in?" I ask, he nods. "I wasn't but seeing you naked, how could I resist?" He jokes. I hit him with a hand towel. He slides in and help me. Ahhh it was so hot and nice. The bath salts and bubbles worked wonderful together, to form the perfect bath. We talk, and I make him bubble beard. We laugh and then while he is talking I can't hold it in. "I love you bucky." I say. He shuts up, and he grins from ear to ear, "I love you Y/n." He says back.

A/n: i almost got caught writing smut abt bucky by my aunt soooo..... ALMOST!