#idk am i weird for that

[starrynightsxo]

is it just me who can't read and listen to music at the same time?? because I need to appreciate both things separately?? like???

[tubbytarchia]

Missed drawing these two too

Bonuses

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

[chocosnowflake0]

feedin' time w/leader and the creepy ass leader's right hand

posting both versions cause i feel like both look good enough

[hmm-paper-clip]

giggle .. inspired this post. listened to the trolls 3 soundtrack for like 8 hours straight today

[journey-to-the-attic]

one thing about ik is that she will always reach out

[obsob]

a very needed redraw of my lovers print! now with better blanket and chunkier cats

[sipsteainanxiety]

after the many, many years of being bakugou’s friend, kirishima could say he has never seen his best bud so in love with someone before—so deeply and irrevocably smitten with you.

it was the little things, mostly, that piled up and up until it was so blatantly obvious that bakugou had fallen—and he had fallen hard. making you bentos, hanging around your desk, walking you home… he’d never behaved like this with anyone before, kirishima mused. it was jarring, in a way. but kirishima was happy for his friend, and he couldn’t help but to keep an eye on the two of you whenever he was in the vicinity (whether bakugou knew he was there or not).

lovestruck, was the word that came to kirishima’s bewildered mind the first time he saw bakugou trailing after you. following you like this great shadow around the agency. he never seemed to leave you alone for too long and he’d always have this little pout on his face whenever you’d shoo him away so you could do your own work. kirishima didn’t think bakugou even knew about the extent of his own feelings—not at first, anyways. and when he tried to confront the blond, he’d act all gruff and grouchy, his ears tinted a violent pink.

bakugou could deny it all he wanted, though. kirishima saw right through him.

what really cemented everything for kirishima—really hammered it in that his best friend was finally getting some of the happiness he deserved—was the time bakugou had caught you from falling off a ladder.

you’d been trying to hang up some decorations around the agency—to “brighten things up a bit” you’d said. kirishima had been too far away at the time—but he still saw the moment you’d leaned just a bit too far to the right. the moment your foot had slipped and you’d tumbled off that tall ladder with a small yelp.

bakugou had been exiting his office at that precise moment. and kirishima swore he had never seen his friend run so fucking fast before in his life. a small explosion propelled him forward—charring the wood and frame of his office door. just so he could catch you before you cracked your head open on the floor.

kirishima watched—from his position across the agency, his legs tensed—as bakugou held you tight within his arms and looked down at your shaken form. he watched as bakugou played off his breathlessness as though he hadn’t just dead sprinted across the hall to get to you on time. you wouldn’t ever know, kirishima thought to himself, how desperate bakugou would have to be to move that fast. and kirishima finally relaxed his stance once he saw bakugou set you carefully down on the ground, hovering over you as he scolded you for being so inattentive. you only rubbed the back of your head as you smiled sheepishly up at him. if bakugou hadn’t been smitten before, he certainly was now.

kirishima couldn’t have been happier, really. and he found himself quietly slipping away, a smile on his face at the idea of bakugou finally, finally being in love.

[panakoui]

post canon laishuro prelude :>

[cuosiscrazy]

I did this after side order but I was inactive so… here ya go now 💥

[dameferre]

plagued by thoughts of barbie and queerness

specifically after my friend and i went to see it and were discussing it and i brought up the obvious queer coding she said ‘oh yeah weird barbie’ and i went ‘oh. no? stereotypical barbie??’

and when we unpacked it further i realised that she’d seen weird barbie as inherently queer bc of the way she’d been ostracised and called names that she made her own in time and could never fit in with the other barbies because of who she was and how she looked? and i saw stereotypical barbie as queer because of her lack of attraction to the people she was meant to be attracted to, liking them but never able to do so in the way they liked her. of being expected to act and be certain ways because of how she looked and the life she lived but not really wanting those things

honestly i don’t really have a point with this it’s just been ceaselessly rattling around in my lil brain

[amelia-yap]

through the heart!

[froggydraws]

🎇

[tongjaitongjai]

An AU where Merlin is literally a God in Mordred’s eyes. Like, a genuine God.

In this AU Mordred and Merlin’s relationship is not fucked up by prophecy. So, everytime, kindhearted Merlin saved Mordred without hesitation. And Mordred grew up in a Druid camp that reinforced the idea that Emrys was a literal god. So naturally, HE WORSHIPPED MERLIN.

Once Arthur became king and magic was legalised, Mordred came to Camelot to become a knight because that was the best way to serve Emrys.

But when he arrived at Camelot, he struggled to comprehend the fact that Merlin was… human???? A very clumsy one, in fact. The rest of Camelot, though might know about Merlin magic, did not know how great ‘Emrys’ actually was so they were just confused, concerned, and/or entertained by Mordred’s ‘crush’ on Merlin.

He would stare at Merlin the entire first meal they had together, and people would be like: awww, Sir Mordred is crushing on Merlin so hard!!

Mordred: Emrys??eats??food?Food??Is ?eaten?by? Emrys?emrys?consumes?meal????

Or when he saw Merlin tripped on the training field

Mordred: i think the area is cursed. Strongly cursed.

Leon: what—

Mordred: THEN WHY ELSE WOULD EMRYS TRIPPED?????

Arthur: So, how have you adjusted to life in Camelot so far? Is there anything that is bothering yo—

Mordred: Merlin

Arthur: what did my stupid manserva- I mean Court Sorcerer do-

Mordred: I saw him drank water today

Arthur:

Mordred: He just drinks water????? From glass?????? Like?? He drank?? Water???? You know??? Literal water????????????? For drinking???HE??needs??water?to??live?why??

Morgana: why did I saw Mordred ran out of the meeting room screaming that you guys are trying to ‘Destroy his faith in his religion’. You knights better not bully him because he is a druid and has magic—

Gwaine: I told him Merlin is not here because he needs to take a shit.

Lancelot: Hey, Mordred, I noticed that Merlin has not received the note I asked you to deliver to him yet.

Mordred: But I already send it to him?

Lancelot:

Lancelot: Tell me how

Mordred: I burned it at the altar

Lancelot: what altar—

Mordred: and pray to him, as one should???

Merlin: WHY IS THERE SOMEONE SCREAMING IN MY HEAD THAT I HAVE AN IMPORTANT MEETING TOMORROW AT NOON!?

Or when they went on a long mission or hunting and Merlin, out of his old habit, made food for the knights

Mordred: ‘this is the most excellent food ever had bestowed on me, I shall never forget about this Emrys. I will pray to you even harder. I am the luckiest Druid to ever live—- ‘

Percival: … is the stew that good?

part 1| part 2 | part 3

[gale-force-storm]

He refuses to fall for the first person to show him kindness. He may be feeling sorry for himself, but that's a bridge too far.

Even if they are beautiful. And kind to everyone, not just him. And brave. And clever. And strong. And they love animals, and reading. And they have a wry sense of humour that he adores.

He won't. He can't. Besides all else, this is decidedly not the time. A bomb in his chest and a worm in his head and a weight on his shoulders and a shame in his stomach and a shattered heart he's still trying to gather the pieces of. Desperately clinging to the cloak of his past, wrapping himself in his former confidence, pretending it hasn't been worn threadbare with time in isolation and eaten ragged by the moths of doubt and fear and past mistakes.

He fell from grace so far so fast, but he cannot beg affection off the first hand to offer him help up, even if it is the first time he's touched another person in months. Even if that hand did send a sudden warmth through him and feel so right in his own he could almost cry from it.

...This is getting out of hand.

He can just be friendly with them, surely. How does one make friends, again? Shared interests? He mostly just has the one, so he'll share what he can. They pick it up quickly, and the warm magic that surrounds them is a balm on his soul. Right up until they imagine kissing him, and his heart skips a beat. It can't be. It can't be. They can't want him back. It's not possible. And how, after it all, after everything, is he meant to resist the overwhelming temptation of being wanted?

They don't let up, either. Lingering glances. Warm smiles. All but propositioning him at the tiefling party. If there is a single positive thing to be said about his year of orb-imposed abstinence, it's that the willpower he had to build up and the practice denying himself were the only things that enabled him to decline their advances.

Well, that and the risk of blowing up the both of them, along with everyone else in or near the camp.

The warm smiles and lingering gazes and casual touches still continue, though.

This is fine. He's fine. He can't remember the last time he felt like this, someone cared for him like this, and he can't do a damn thing about it, but he's fine. Everything is fine. As fine as it can be, anyways, given everything else about the situation.

He supposes he should probably be more upset about Mystra's orders. At this point, though, it's hard to feel like it's anything besides a way out. A relief that he can be good for something. One more miserable experience, and then he's done with it, and all their problems are solved. There are worse things.

Except.

They're so angry about it. Everyone is, but them especially. Arguing with both him and Elminster the entire time, insisting there's another option. That they'll find or make one. Whatever they have to do to keep him around.

Gods help him, but he does want to stay with them. Stay for them.

He sleeps that night, and awakens with a jolt, a groan, and a realization. He's glad that prestidigitation exists to clean himself up without leaving his tent and risking the others' notice. His body had, apparently, caught up with certain implications before his brain. Though from what snippets of his dream he remembers, maybe it was only his waking mind that had been lagging behind.

He wants them, and he can finally have them. Can give them as much of himself as he's able, in the time he has left.

He had refused, at first, the idea of falling for the first person to show him kindness. And he hasn't. He's fallen for someone who is so much more that that. And he will not, cannot, die without letting them know. If he has to leave them, and he fears he will, then he will not leave them feeling unappreciated, or uncherished, or unloved. Not when he can finally embrace the full depth and breadth of what he feels for them. Has felt for them for what can't have been more than a tenday or two, but feels like a lifetime and a moment all at once.

He will not leave without showing them the full scope of his admiration and appreciation and sheer joy at their presence. The full scope of how impossibly deeply he already loves them. Not while he has any say in it.

[dizzybizz]

please consider jellyfish john,, for me 🥺?