#idk it just makes so much sense to me to make his distrust of authority worse via 5 different avenues

[mast7r]

does it really matter since i jumped canons? no. however. i still hate how there was a plot thread hinted at and. just abandoned. and that was death eaters watching hari closely in case they could get some influence via him. like malfoy snr likely hinted to draco he should try and befriend hari. and in the second book im p sure mentions something about how he could be useful. anyway where im going with this is that i fully and completely believe that by the time the graveyard happened, hari fully trusted barty. probably saw barty as the only one at hogwarts trying to help or be honest with him. and barty taught him some stuff just in case. somehow. the plan failed. voldy didnt come back. so he could hitch his wagon to another figurehead. 

[deadliestpieceontheboard]

Is Andrew Misogynistic? How so?

FYI: this is the second time I'm writing all this because Tumblr just. unpromptedly deleted the whole thing just when I was done, so if there's anything weird I apologize, and feel free to ask about it.

This started out as a reblog from @stuck-in-between-two-worlds that got too big and I decided it deserved it's own post, so I hope it helps :)

First of all we need to lay out that it is very clear that Nora didn't always have the vocabulary to explain the things she wanted to say. Think about Neil's sexuality, or Andrew's mental state. She knew how they worked, but not the proper names to things.

So when she stated that Andrew was misogynistic (on an ask about Neil's mom and through Renee's pov on son nefes), did she mean it as in "Think Women Are Lesser and #GenderRoles"? Very likely not.

This is what causes a lot of backlash, because today this is the definition we have for misogyny, and it really doesn't make sense for the character. But it's important to remember that the series came out almost 10 years ago, and much of it (including son nefes) was drafted even longer before that. Social issues were not talked about the same way as today, so it was very plausible then, if you didn't have the right information, to call a character that holds a prejudice against women, even if it's not based on a patriarchal view, misogynistic.

And Andrew DOES have issues with women, like it or not:

1- He had 12 therapists before Bee, many of whom straight up said they would never let him work with women again [x]

2 - This exchange with Renee

3 - His deal with Aaron was specifically about women hurting him. That's why Andrew's reaction to Allison was way stronger than to Matt, even when what she did was considerably milder. This extended to the point that "not letting a girl hurt him" meant not letting them get close to his brother at all.

These are the unquestionable examples, but some people could take how he treats Katelyn, the way he is agressive to Abby at the motel, or the justification for taking Dan to Eden's as signs of it as well, but that's more open to interpretation.

So what can we take from this? Purely from what was given in canon or word of god, that Andrew is weary and distrustful of women, but that it really is a PREjudice and he's capable of looking past it in Bee and Renee when they prove it to him that "they're not like other girls", so to say. This is a completely valid textual analysis, and, from what little she said, Nora's intention when writing the character. You can dislike it, hc it differently, but not deny that it isn't there.

Now, his reasoning for these beliefs is something we do not have explained anywhere, so while I (or anyone) can guess at it, this is where we enter personal interpretation / meta / headcanon territory, and you can choose to completely disregard my take.

If you ask me, I see it as a personal bias formed from his trauma. (which doesn't excuse his actions in any way btw).

Between Cas, Tilda, and what we can assume are many foster homes, Andrew sees women as a threat he can't predict. Men hurt him explicitly and outwardly, they hit him and slip in his bedroom, and these are all very palpable dangers. Women were the ones that abandoned him, turned a blind eye, neglected behind smiles. How do you protect yourself against that besides being careful? It's not something you fight with your fists. (honestly i can expand on that but this post is long as it is and idk if anyone is really interested)

So, TLDR: Is Andrew misogynistic? By the understanding we have of the word today, no. But I don't think it's fair to ignore all this facet of the character just because the author used the wrong word to define it, right?

Don't you think his flaws make it all much more interesting?

[stump-salsa]

In their defense (Zim and Prof shippers) a lot of them saying that: "Well, Zim gets a new disguise, or when he comes to Earth he starts working in the lab instead", but yeah the people who have him use his school disguise, idk what are they thinking...

You are not the only one who doesn't find it funny, (I thought I was the only one too, I finally have a reason to rant about it!) I despise this ship so much.

Even with a different disguise I still don't like it for a number of reasons:

Zim is a giant specist, he literally wants to enslave the human race, why would he fall for some random guy who he sees as an inferior species? Yeah, I know he usually just pretended it to use him, and later falls in love like "This was not the plan!", but it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that the relationship is built on a lie, and Zim usually gets of the hook too easily for me for lying/manipulation and the general stuff he did to Dib.

Speaking of Dib, I hate the Dib gets grounded joke. And the fact that the situation often treated as Dib being the brat who has to suck it up and let his dad be happy and trust Zim that he totally changed, it's not just a trick, no, he has no reason to be distrustful of him, it's not like he wants to kill him and now he makes him feel unsafe in his own home and abusing his newfound authority over him! Like I get that Dib is the punching bag of the original show too, but I h ave myse, ere

Bloody hell you’ve been waiting to let this one out

I completely agree with you, I’d never thought about it too in depth like that but reading it now it makes so much sense. Thank you!

[gogolstoelicker]

Twisted wonderland dorm leaders with a scaramouche! MC 👀

Dorm leaders with a Scaramouche!MC

You're a cunning individual as you could easily manipulate someone to get what you want. You could also be quite traitorous after getting what you want. You also have a hobby of exerting your authorities over others.

You seemed to be quite the selfish individual too, only caring for yourself and your own benefits, not caring for what happens to the one around you.

Riddle:

fights with the both of u could get very ugly💀

im talking abt straight uo collars, lightning, fires and poison likr powers

the people around the two of you are not having fun btw

as soon as they sensed u guys are gonna fight and trey and cater's words are not reaching the two of u at all?

deuce and ace are alr running to find the headmaster so nobody would get hurt

the others however?

it takes yall a VERY long time to even get along

honesty? yall just mostly compete with each other on who's better than the other at smth

academic rivals to friends/ lovers⁉️⁉️

leaning more to enemies tho

if yall ever became friends, that doesn't mean you guys are gonna stop competing

it actually became both of ur little entertainment and u guys are actually having fun rather than going full on hatred and competitiveness:D!!

and if yall teamed up? the school stands NO chance against yall💀💪‼️

Leona:

isnt leona kind of cunning?

so another cunning vs cunning⁉️⁉️

if you're confused, i write from bottom to top btw

except the other one is too lazy to scheme smth unless it greatly benefits the goal he had in his mind, which is becoming a king

honestly? i think you guys can understand each other like no other once y'all got along and started openinh up to each other

like you're abandoned and literally nobody likes u, nobody likes leona back in his hometown with the exception of cheka, you two have this goal u wanted to achieve no matter what (u with the gnosis and him with the throne)

so im just saying, u two could definitely be besties‼️

but just bc y'all are besties, doesn't mean yall are gonna start being nice to each other tho😁

ofc u guys are not gonna cross the line, its just smth like uh

sharp tongued mfs insulting each other as affection?🤔🤔 like

"well aren't u a lazy fucker, try using some effort and u might get what u want someday(affectionate)"

"says the person who is literally not liked by everyone. if u put any effort into having a better personality, maybe people will like u (affectionate)"

its ok y'all are just doing this daily sarcastic yet affectionate callout🤗‼️

Azul:

cunning vs cunning😱😱how bad can it be🤔⁉️

well not too bad but he was definitely fooled at first

like u were so friendly and nice at first, he just cant suspect a thing

esp when u just mindlessly signed the contract with him

and then things happened

he then swore he won't ever be fooled by how friendly u are and ur smile

which he starts to doubt if he should ever start doing that honestly🤔considering how u act after letting go of ur friendly facade

the duo the school does not want to happen

like imagine u two teaming up and thr schemes you two would create together😰😰no thanks, they choose peace

idk if yall can get along honestly

its like the harbingers relationship with each other (complete distrust and hate)

so uh🤔🤔im sorry if his is kind of short? and not much?

but if we're gonna talk abt u two actually somehow being friends, the whole school would start running for their lives

its every man for themselves👹

Kalim:

might get intimidated by u

but eventually warmed up and went up to u despite jamil's protest

and it's all bc of how he saw u treat ortho

ur so sweet to ortho, ofc you're not a bad guy🙏😁you can't be if you're nice to kids😁‼️

-me convincing my friends abt my fav characters

well jamil tried his best to make him stay away from u, which as we can see, does not work

kalim tried his best to be friended u!! he really did!!

u need help?! kalim is alr around the corner waiting for u to ask for his help or smth

the headmaster gave u too much work? kalim is glancing at u, a silent ask if u need help from him or not

exams is near? he's next to you with books and shining eyes, waiting for u to say yes to him being ur study buddy

u went from kalim's tolerator to kalim's protection squad leader

u somehow let everything out to kalim while crying (he's crying with u btw)

idk how it happened either

maybe its because of kalim's endless support for u who knows

kalim is that one guy who accidentally entered the villain's lair and now became the villain's emotional support

you're the villain btw😁🙏

Vil:

yall know how hoyoverse? mihoyo? whicheverhoyo always mentioned how scara is pretty every chance they got? (they're so me frfr. i would mention how pretty scara is every chance i got too)

yeah thats how vil sees you, a beautiful being

like when he first saw u during the uh entrance ceremony???? he was clutching his purse so hard bc like you're so??? beautiful??? omg????!'5$???!!

that skin??? that beautiful hair??? those lips??? those eyes??? and that red eyeshadow /eyeliner idk???? omg!?5@??!!

someone met his standards!!

do u think it'll make vil insecure tho? ofc no. it just motivates him to try harder in being beautiful💪‼️

def tried to talk to u and got displeased by ur personality

ur face is smth but with that personality? you're gonna get a flying kick from him if u do not try to be nice🤨

honestly tried to get u to share ur beauty tips with him

u going "what beauty tips🤨⁉️"

him going "🤨⁉️"

oh no this is NOT going to slide

if you're pretty and not putting more effort into that beauty? he's gonna WHIP WHAP WHOP ur ass🤬🤬

probably how y'all got close

it's just vil making u wear beauty products and u having to toletate it bc oh no! u lost ur authority in this new world😔!!

doesn't matter if you're a puppet or not

👹your👹skin👹shall👹not👹be👹not👹taken👹care👹of👹under👹his👹watch👹

Idia:

oh yikes, he def didn't wanna get near u lol

leave an npc like him alone🤗u, as the SSR rank antagonist can just ignore him like he's some dust on the sidewalk or smth

was genuinely happy u didn't really care about him that much until u suddenly startes approaching him

why... why are u approaching him? what sins did he do in his past life to deserve this? why are u coming cLOSER?!

NO ORTHO. UR BROTHER IS NOT PANICKING *is panicking

turns out u were just trying to walk past him

oh fuh *wipes sweat* 😁he definitely wasn't scared come on now

and then he heard a "why are u smiling like an idiot to nobody?" behind him

uh oh🙀⁉️⁉️

that's how y'all even... got to know each other? if u can even call it that?

idk how can y'all get close without idia being close to a coma but

it could... work??? kinda???? if u let him research the power inside of u and the modifications that has been made🤔🤗

Malleus:

you know how he's probably a few thousand years old or smth?

and since you're nice to elders and children, u are kind of nice to him🤗‼️ /JOKE

that was a joke, im so sorry malleus. i did not mean to call u a grandpapi, im sorry

well you know that feeling when two powerful characters met each other

a god's abandoned puppet and the future ruler of briar valley😱

if the earth could hide, it would hide itself.

well malleus for some reason wants to befriend u🤔🤨

maybe its bc of that "friendly" demeanor you showed him when you two first met

it was a mistake in your part, now u can never get rid of malleus draconia as he will always try to be ur friend

and honestly? seeing his efforts kind of makes u go softer on him

like omg someone is not giving up on you like someone did for being too weak??? and they actually tried their best to genuinely become friends with you????

eventually, malleus succeeded in becoming ur friend:D!! how did he know?? some people got electrocuted by you but shh for spreading more rumors about how scary he can be:D!

and yes, he definitely did a little dance in his room after finding out what happened

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

What are you thoughts on the statement that Paul always says he doesn’t think John was gay? Do you think he hid his thoughts or did he really not know about that?

This is something I go back and forth on a lot. My instinct is to believe people most of the time, but I see how that's not necessarily the most consistent with the facts here. (I don't tend to believe any theory makes perfect sense though)

I think that if Paul is mostly telling the truth, he's not considering (or is afraid to consider) how deeply ashamed John might've felt and how much he might've hidden his interest in men from Paul specifically. His "he would've made a pass at me" comment is kind of stupid, but when he says he just thinks he would've picked up on it, IDK that's not crazy to me. I think John was an individual who dealt with a lot more insecurity and doubt than the average person, and even the average non-straight person. At the same time, he was very confident in some respects. And I think Paul refers to that confidence he had (or also his "no-filter" talking) when he says he thinks John would've made it known in one way or another.

I do note that over the years, he appears to have softened his stance a bit it seems (not sure of the exact dates though), or even within an interview he'll go back and mention that he can't speak with authority on John in the 70s or that he genuinely doesn't know what happened on the Spain trip, he just has his own theory about it. (This is one of the reasons I theorize that John did next to nothing with men during the touring years, scared off by the Spain trip disaster, sudden public scrutiny and "distracted" by groupies; it would largely explain Paul's POV)

So, I do think there's a chance that Paul may've changed his mind, perhaps having looked into the evidence himself and maybe having recontextualized memories and experiences with John for himself. (Though it makes complete sense to me that Paul would feel inherent distrust in this theory, if he associates this theory with Goldman's biography, which Paul must have identified several blinding inaccuracies in and is I believe the first major publication to speculate on John's sexuality) .

I think Paul has every reason to not want to open that can of worms, and I think after living most of his life in a society that was mostly negative towards gay and bi people, it's hard for him to feel like the world would be kind to his dead best friend, should they find out the truth about him. Of course, he also wants to deflect any speculation about his sexuality, which is understandable.

The issue is it's nearly impossible to ask him about this, so that he feels it's in good faith. And even if one interviewer was asking, not for the shock value but out of a genuine wish to understand John better, Paul would be aware that other publications would lap up what he said and regurgitate it in the most sensationalist light. Someone would have to catch him in private, Hunter Davies-style.

I really wish I could have a deep, non-judgemental conversation with him, asking him for example about his usage of marriage metaphors with reference to him and John. Not to gotcha him into any admission, just to get a fuller picture of what these two people meant to each other.

I could probably write a novel about this, so I'll stop here. I'd like to add that, though I'm prone to take Paul at his word most of the time, I read the thoughts and analyses of people who believe Paul is lying or had some type of sexual relationship with John regularly, and though I don't draw the same conclusions, I understand their points of view as well. If one day some bombshell revelation states Paul is definitely bi, then so be it. If you have any specific questions about any of this, feel free to ask! :)

[omegas-spaghettios]

Ranking MCU Captain America figures

Before I begin, I want to clarify this is about my enjoyment of these characters and NOT who i think are the best morality or power wise. I specify because I think my first two entries will upset some people and I want to say, this list is NOT in order of how much I agree with these characters' values. I have a heavy favoritism towards theme and character interaction and that is where a lot of my enjoyment from media comes from. So, let's begin.

6. Captain America: CW, IW, and Endgame

I'm separating Steve into two because around CW he starts making decisions that really frustrate me.

Now I do think there is a lot to like still! His conviction to his morals during the Accords and continuing arc about government distrust is great, his stand against Thanos in IW is amazing, he is a lot of fun to watch during the New York part of the time heist, and lifting Mjolnir was legit my best theater moment ever and i will NEVER forget it.

However, in CW he starts making some awful decisions. In CW, he kisses Sharon like, days after Peggy's funeral. While on it's own it's already kinda creepy, Endgame retroactively makes this even worse. It goes on to also have grave consequence because he and Sam asked Sharon to break the law for them and never followed through to help her, which was pretty awful of them. At least Sam tries to make it right in TFATWS, but since Steve left that wrong on Sharon never gets reconciled from him.

I also think that his decision to keep Bucky and Howard's history a secret from Tony was really, really stupid. While I side with him during the fight, the fact that Steve "doesn't like when his teammates withhold information" Rogers didn't tell Tony this then walked into a Winter Soldier facility with Bucky and Tony during the most strained time of their relationship was just begging for that conflict.

He is barely in IW and while his stand against Thanos is a great moment, his decision to not let Vision kill himself is very frustrating. "We don't trade lives" then he goes to Wakanda to let thousands of soldiers die while they try and get the stone out, really dude?

I don't think going back in time in Endgame was inherently a bad ending but things he does to make it happen really frustrates me. He shows no signs of mourning Bucky or Sam at all. And then for the sake of surprise for the audience, he never tells Sam what he's doing and that is so awful. Sam dedicates 4 years of his life helping Steve with a good portion of it being on the run. Sam was with Steve more during the present than ANYONE else. Then Steve just leaves without telling him and shows back up to drop a ton of responsibility on Sam that he didn't ask for. Now Sam is an amazing Cap but it's frustrating to see that a lot of TFATWS is fallout of Steve's bad decisions in these three movies.

5. Captain America: John Walker

Now hold on, I hate this man. I think he does some awful things, so why is he above anyone else? Just because he isn't frustrating to me, he fits thematically and has good interactions with others in TFATWS.

His character really adds to the themes and discussions of white privilege, Supremacy, as well as how the US military treats their soldiers like shit, and I think he is an interesting character to watch as he starts out edging the line of evil and by the end of episode 4 crosses it. While I think Bucky was overall a bit too chummy with him in 6, I think it was all mostly in character for them. Sam and Bucky were up against 6 super soldiers and Batroc in a highly crowded city with lots of important people, it makes sense to me that they take his help in this scenario. They also never leave him alone which indicates distrust.

I also really like the moment where he drops the shield to help the truck. He is a shitty person but he is shown as a person who at least wants to do good, even though any challenge to that he goes off the rails. It is such a black and white scenario, help the truck of innocents, and I like that he does it. It also adds to the hatred of him as a person because it shows he clearly knows better but chooses to ignore it, which makes him even more despicable.

I think it is very important that a man like him bore the title of Captain America because it reminds us all that yes, it is very easy that a man like him represents America as it is and that we need to do better than him.

I like watching him and that's why he's above CW on Steve because he isn't making aggravatingly out of character decisions all of the time and he works very well within the themes of the show.

With me loving him in the context of TFATWS, in later appearances he does have a lot of potential to drop to last pretty easily, but as of now when he just is in that show, I appreciate his character a lot.

4. Red Guardian

I kinda like this character and idk how to feel about it

He doesn't fit Black Widow very much so he is kinda low but I mean, he's just kinda fun. His story about Captain America and the USSR is pretty non-related to the others and rather undeveloped which is frustrating, and he does very little plot significant things. He leads Nat and Yelena to Melina and that's about it. He distracts Taskmaster for a while but he kinda is just getting tossed around until Melina shows up. He isn't very important.

But I do like what I see and do hope we see more of him. They never pretend he's a great person and I do appreciate that he gets called on it constantly. His knuckles having Karl Marx on them kills me and overall he's pretty humorous and fun to watch. He also has a few great moments thematically that I love. When he comforts Yelena after the dinner scene and sings her favorite song as a kid? So heartwarming. When he took Taskmaster's shield when fleeing the Red Room I laughed at his ridiculousness but it lead to a pretty great moment, when he throws the shield through the windshield without hesitation to save Melina. It's a great moment to show how he's letting go of his past and obsessions to be there for his family.

I hope we see more of him, his overall lack of importance and stereotypical behavior kinda holds him back but I see so much potential in him.

3. Agent Carter

As of today she has been in exactly one 30 minute episode, but what I see I really like. Her laughter of surprise when she takes the tesseract is really endearing, her sword and muscles and height make my wlw heart patter, and I do like the difference in her relationship with Steve in this universe, where they both are of incredible capabilities but neither are given any respect for how they were born. We get that in TFA too but I really like that it is a constant theme in this iteration while in TFA it gets dropped a bit after Steve receives the serum.

There is very little of her so I can't really put her higher yet, but given more time she very well may rise up on this list but she had an excellent first showing.

2. Pre-CW Captain America: Steve Rogers

This man is a joy.

He is such an endearing scrappy little guy in the beginning of TFA and I love his commitment to doing the right thing. He still very much acts like a guy who just gained 120 pounds of muscle during that movie and it's endearing. The way he grows into his own skin in TWS is amazing as we see him really step in to what he can accomplish physically as well as his authority and leadership.

His Whedonisms in the first two Avengers films kinda bug me, they treat him like an old man when he isn't. Biologically he's like, early 30's at most here. He grew up as a fighter in Brooklyn then served in the military, he wouldn't care if his teammates swear, but overall it's tolerable.

I LOVE this man's commitment to transparency. He struggles when allies are not transparent and he shows nothing but transparency and I love that that is a constant for him (which is why I separate him from CW on)

Everyone loves this guy and over 90% of criticisms I see for him come after AoU, and that's for good reason, this guy is so loveable.

1. Captain America: Sam Wilson

He's so good, guys

I want to talk about Sam before the suit because he is amazing before it. He runs counseling for veterans, a profession very becoming of a superhero and it speaks to his incredible empathy and compassion that is on full display. I also think the fact that he dedicated 2 years to finding Bucky is not appreciated enough. Sure he was following Steve but he still spent 2 years trying to find Bucky, a person who tried to murder him. Yet he understands it isn't Bucky's fault and tries to help him anyway. I also really like that he is the first to speak out against the Accords. He doesn't wait for Steve or anyone else, he sees red flags and he is out and I really, really love that about him.

Then I love how long it takes for him to choose to become Cap and how much he contemplates it. He has to contemplate the legacy of Steve, if he wants to wear the symbol of this country, the pressures of being a black man as Cap, the legacy that John added to it, the pressures from Bucky and the pressures from Isaiah, and also his own legacy he carved for himself as the Falcon. It's a huge decision with a lot of weight and so many people pressuring him but he takes his time and chooses what is right for him, and I really love that about him. These other characters are all Caps from near the start but he transitions into one after years of knowing him as the Falcon and I love that he doesn't take this decision lightly.

Also as Cap he's just really cool. His decisions to not take the serum as well as try like hell to get Karli to step down speak to his humility and compassion. And while many describe his speech as bland it's still uniquely him. Yes the speech doesn't solve any problems but that isn't what he's doing, he's asking America and the world to get to actually solving them and that is an aspect of him we don't see much since Steve's propaganda days, his direct relation to the public.

Also his suit and wings are just awesome, I argue his action is the most fun to watch out of any of these characters.

Anyway yeah that's the list, I know people won't agree with me so let's try and keep discussion civil, alright?

[wovenstarlight]

rambling thoughts about hyj (canon vs ywbk)

yoojin is so so fascinating as a character to me... i think about him 24/7 he occupies every available inch of brainspace i have. like this man and his issues am i fucking right. so i’m going to talk a bit about how i see him working and how i chose to portray him in my time travel series

so canon hyj, right. he’s like. he’s such a funky narrator. he’s like if i occupy my mind with endless work i will avoid falling into the pit of depression and immense grief from all that i went through pre regression. but also what i went through pre regression wasn’t even that bad. but also everyone who hurt me back then is assholes. but anyway ignore all that because i have work to do.

and on top of that the way he interacts with people is very... i won’t say it’s utilitarian but he’s very focused on what he can do for people and what they can do for him. in a currently-unpublished but translated chapter, he says that (SPOILERS!) he’s asked his thoughts on shj, and he answers that sung hyunjae is a useful man, and yoojin has to be polite to him on the off chance he needs to rely on him in the future. a very “he’s useful” kind of answer. this despite the obvious chemistry he and shj have-- not even in a romance way (though i do like jinjae), they just? get along? they banter easily and they have similar senses of humour and even though sometimes hyj gets exasperated at his behaviour, he still chats with him in a friendly way all the same.

and yet he’s also like SHJ Is Useful And That’s It. I Don’t Like Him At All. and he saves him in his contacts as “skill” and generally acts like he’s completely uncaring. which, compared to how much love he has for hyh and then for byr, i understand- shj at the moment quite honestly does not rank up there at all compared to those two? but he does rank somewhere, i think, because then hyj gets annoyed and upset when shj doesn’t show up to help him, and past a “shit, i needed his specific skillset for this situation and now i’m not sure how to manage this”, he does react in a very... i’ve been let down by someone i had high hopes for, kind of way.

so basically he’s got this whole, i don’t care about people1, thing going on, but then he also very much does care. and hyj is a caring person! fuck, shj even says to hyh at one point that han yoojin-gun has a bad habit of letting people into his heart too easily. what that tells me is that hyj has like.... SEVERE trust issues. he won’t allow himself to care about people, to be aware of any feelings he holds towards people- he makes himself only think about the skills people offer him, about how he can use them. and even then, whenever possible, he does things himself and he avoids relying on others, sometimes because he “doesnt want to bother them [with adult matters]” (that one talk with yoohyun) and sometimes because he just doesn’t really trust them with whatever needs doing

1. as an aside i do think hyj’s moral sense is very funny because like. if anyone touches his fucking kids they’re as good as dead! he’ll kill them! he cares about no one but his kids and everyone else can die! [the world is in danger] ah, fuck, maybe he cares about people who aren’t his kids. he doesn’t want the world to die. but don’t BRING IT UP!!! JEEZ!!! HIS PRIDE!!!! but also if you get blacklisted for whatever reason then Die literally Die he will kill you himself. it’s a very funny, he’s a good person but oh, he’s also a little bit insane, actually. that sort of situation. i love him. go crazy go stupid, sweetie, you’re doing great.

WHICH IN CONTEXT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT PRE REGRESSION! like hyj was raised with the experience of his parents, the people in the world whose unconditional support he was meant to have, being tossed down the drain because he chose to take care of yoohyun. so he’s already like, yeah, i gotta rely on myself. he has that understanding that.... he’s gotta rely on himself first and foremost, rather than trusting people who are supposed to be taking care of him. not just caring for him, actually, caring for him and yoohyun, because then he basically has to dedicate his life to yoohyun growing up. he’s been acting as yoohyun’s primary guardian from age Baby. and age 17 to 22 was literally just him dropping everything he was doing for himself in favor of getting a job and making sure yoohyun stayed in school and was fine. yoojin himself dropped out of school so he must’ve lost his whole friend group and support system. and then post-dungeon shock, he gets thrown aside and pretty much discarded by yoohyun without so much as a goodbye from the kid, which-- wow! ouch! that shit must have hurted! talk about being fucking burned, jeez. and even after that, spending three years running after yoohyun, trying to “regain” his trust and love, yoojin would’ve seen his Unawakened self as ‘not good enough’ for s-rank yoohyun. and therein comes the “if it’s not useful it’s worthless” mindset. and then he Awakened as f-rank-- already a blow!-- and then on top of that he gets backstabbed by the dozens of people who were like “you’re an s-rank’s brother! go get Awakened, i’ll bet money on you Awakening to a good rank!” and then pulled out on him, leaving him with idk how much debt (this is all mentioned in early chapters somewhere, i’ll pull citations later). man, i’m not surprised he has trust issues.

so that’s already part of his difficulty trusting other people. but then it gets compounded when you think about it further because like, His Fucking Skills, Man. he has a whole skill focused around “if you make an emotional connection with someone and then they die, it’s useful to you.” holy fuck! no wonder he’s allergic to bringing people into battle alongside himself! no wonder he throws himself into dungeons solo just to get freebie skills that allow him to be some semblance of independently combat-ready! every time he makes a connection with people he’s wondering if one day he’ll get their dying memories! you ever wonder how many people he had on his list of “keyworded individuals” pre-reg? he’s stated that he used to be at the back of dungeon parties with a spear (the need for weapons with a longer reach because of his low defense, obviously) and so someone else always died before he did? how many teammates that he cared about has he watched die in front of himself, how many times has he gotten the dying memories of those teammates, how many times have the rest of his living teammates turned on him after finding out his ability and accused him of getting the dead person killed on purpose so that he could have their skills? like hyj brings it up when he’s first explaining last repayment, and hyj cares about people so easily that he’d never do it and yet he still thought of it. which means other people would undoubtedly think of it very easily. and they wouldn’t be as forgiving when there’s a body count right there.

just, last repayment basically took hyj’s (largely yoohyun-induced) fear of losing the people he cared about and slammed his head directly into a concrete wall. thanks for that, king. so now hyj forces himself to constantly asses people on a “what skills do they have? how useful are they to me?” basis if they try to get close to him, rather than allowing him to just go “friend :-) i care them“. and it makes him reluctant to get close to and rely on people, because again, Danger Lies Therein

and all of this also must have made him be used to... being unloved, i guess (from his perspective- yoohyun cared, even when he left, but yoojin didn’t know that until yoohyun died). because most if not all of the people who have cared about or pretended to care about him have later left him. he’s got abandonment issues up the wazoo. when people say they care about him (stw, shj) he reacts with distrust. when he reveals the slightest imperfection he’s convinced they‘ll leave him, regardless of how much kindness he’s shown them in the meantime-- remember when he told myeongwoo he’d lied about them being childhood friends? complete confusion that myeongwoo didn’t immediately renounce their friendship. (SPOILERS FOR UNPUBLISHED CHAPTERS!) and later, it happens again with yerim- he tells her that he wasn’t actually a friend of her parents, he just wanted to poach her for haeyeon-- and then wonders why she doesn’t react with betrayal, when what she says is “i’m glad! ahjussi was so kind to me, i was worried i’d bewitched him somehow. i’m glad he actually cares about me. it makes me happy you were so kind”. he expects to lose the people he cares about, if not by outside causes, then of their own volition.

though on the outside causes front, i suppose it does help that like, all the people he’s growing close to now are hypercompetent high-rankers and therefore less likely to get themselves hurt. versus last timeline’s f-rank and e-rank friends, who’d probably routinely get killed, rip. but then there lies the possibility of yoojin thinking “if i pull them into danger then they’re in that much more danger” (see: Literally The Whole Reason Pre-reg Yoohyun Died. he went to help hyj and got in over his head trying to defend hyj and keep hyung alive, when he should’ve been able to defend himself with ease. hyj and diarma both acknowledge this.) which, again, plays into the reason he tries to avoid relying on other people.

tl;dr hyj’s interpersonal relationships are fucked!

but anyways moving on to talk about my fic versions of canon yoojin (hyj): han hyunjae (hhj) and han yoojin jr. (hyj jr). and how i’ve given them both problems disorders based on hyj’s issues

so like right off the bat we have hhj’s major issue, repeatedly brought up in-fic-- his issue with relying on people. let me pull a quote about this from the author notes of ywbk chapter 11:

some of you might be wondering why the yoojins are so [pretends to be okay and centers self on taking care of others], particularly [hhj]. my thinking for that part was mostly... in canon we see yoojin surrounded by people he knows are competent and capable, almost all of them adults. even when he's "raising" them, he has some degree of confidence in their ability to watch out for themselves. plus he's had time to grow out of being the only one in charge of the family; he's seen his brother come into his own and he's pulled back from his caretaking role

but here, [hhj]'s been directly thrust into raising two kids (and yeah even if [hyj jr]'s 18 he's still very much a child). not only that, but his knowledge of the future makes him (in his eyes) more knowledgable than just about all the folks around him, even the adults. mostly, he doesn't want to drop all his baggage on them when he knows they won't be able to relate (and in some cases, he doesn't want them to live with that knowledge). so he kind of distanced himself from everyone and pushed himself further into the caretaking thing as a way of coping, without realizing that's what he was doing.

we have hhj who, as hyj’s au twin, has the same trust issues and forced utilitarian attitude rising from pre-reg experiences. and then we dropped him into a situation where that “prioritize work and handle all issues myself” attitude is-- i don’t want to say rewarded, exactly, but it’s definitely useful for him in the timeline he’s in. he’s the oldest han brother, so handling issues naturally falls to him anyway as the head of the family; with both boys in school, he’s the breadwinner of the family, so prioritizing work is good! he becomes a super-efficient worker and it satisfies the needs of everyone around him!

unfortunately yoojin is a caring person, so hyj jr realizes that hhj is very much overreaching when he’s not even begun to address the effects of the Very Obvious In A Non-Dungeon World pre-reg trauma. so he’s like. hyung. what the FUCK, dude. take it easy and rely on people once in a while.

and physically, sure, hhj can rely on them. he can get yoohyun to do chores, he can get junior to take on a part time job so funds aren’t a constant worry. he gets better at trusting them to manage regular life stuff, honestly! he’s pretty good about that sort of thing now!

but then it comes to emotional needs, and like, hyj jr is a kid? and hyh is a kid? so any trust hhj builds there is going to be a little one-sided, since he can’t dump all his emotional worries on children. whatever yoojin is, he is a good caretaker who addresses his kids’ needs, and the kids do not need to be hhj’s therapists.

and hhj doesn’t really have friends his own age, and even when he does (hello jiyeon and hamin and orv gang), none of them can quite- Get it, because there’s not really an easy way to explain “i have deep-seated trauma about my family leaving me and about the people around me dying brutally” without, uh, (a) a LOT of trusting them to take you seriously and not snitch (b) explaining some Context about his youth and also the dungeons. (like yeah he could say “i’m scared everyone i care about will die on me in horrifying ways, particularly if they try to get close to me”, but that’s an irrational fear (because why would everyone die horrifyingly, why would getting close to hhj be a death sentence)-- unless you know that “everyone i care about” consists of Hunters and getting close to hhj involves getting involved with dungeons, and then his fear is very real and very understandable, even without knowing about pre-reg. there’s a reason why, even though hhj had four years to grow close to jiyeon, it still took the dungeon shock occurring for him to finally tell her even the smallest bit about pre-regression.

(from jiyeon’s perspective, she doesn’t notice much amiss, because the things hhj is keeping from her are mostly pre-reg related. he doesn’t mind talking to her about his current life, though he is reluctant to talk about some personal issues with her. hamin is a little more distant, because he is still hhj’s boss, so hhj tries to stay mostly cordial with him. orv gang is a more casual relationship- not really the type where he can dump his personal issues on them; and anyway, they’re a tight-knit friend group themselves, so hhj feels a little more on the fringes, not excluded but not fully included, either. a little like hsy does, but without the whole “i have to play the bad guy of the team” mindset.)

and this distance he creates without anyone realizing, this inability of his to fully trust them with all the details of his life, is what results in the freakout around the dungeon shock. the whole, You Are Actively Dying, if you don’t explain yourself right now i’ll finish the job. (though i don’t blame him for not trusting them with his trauma! i don’t really think he’s ready to talk about it. especially with people who don’t yet have any context for even the start of the story. hopefully this’ll change post-dungeon shock, though.)

unfortunately even with his newfound ability to talk about things more freely, he’s still in a sticky situation-- over the years, he’s developed his ability to rely on people for non-life-and-death situations like “earn money on the side”. but sending his brother to take out the trash is very very different from sending his brother to fight dungeons and other Hunters without backup. is very different from needing to risk a life and choosing his brother’s. so despite his hard-won Relying On Others abilities, they don’t extend to dungeon world situations.

and what does this mean, practically? it means, like canon hyj, hhj is going to persistently overreach himself in trying to fight alone-- he’ll try to be competent, to take on adversaries, to build strength in every possible avenue so that he can keep yoohyun and hyj jr and the rest of his family out of danger. he’ll try to be a one-man army, just to defend the people he cares about.

(ONE DAY. one day he will learn that it may not be safe to care, he may still be hurt, but that doesn’t mean he should cut himself off in advance. he’s still allowed to care. he’s still allowed to be cared about. oh, hhj. i want to beat him up but more than that i want to hug him.)

and then there’s hyj jr. oh, junior, you’re a delight. i love the concept of a yoojin who’s never had the trauma of being left behind by yoohyun, who’s gotten to flourish and become everything he has the potential to be, fighting at yoohyun’s side and being amazing. it’s too bad the method i chose to achieve this through also left our prodigal son with extreme issues.

(FAIR WARNING: THIS PART WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR LATER PARTS OF YWBK VIS A VIS SOME CHARACTER DECISIONS AND ACHIEVEMENTS. mostly since hyj’s time to shine hasn’t come through quite yet, so we don’t have as much of him)

so our boy junior may not have the various traumas induced by pre-regression, but he does start off with the same parental neglect that makes him hesitant to rely on seniors. and when his parents die, it’s about a week or so before hhj shows up, which junior spends realizing that he’s really going to have to give up his life and completely dedicate himself to guardianship, huh? and then hhj appears, and rips that role out from under him-- not just the “head of the family” role, even the “primary guardian of yoohyun” role. because yoohyun trusts him instinctively, and looks to him with just as much respect as hyj jr. junior becomes desperate to regain that role he’s lived all his life, in whatever form he can, resulting in the chapter 11 blowup. and past me already covered this:

as for junior, he's suddenly gained a new brother out of nowhere who is demonstrably bad at taking care of himself; on top of that, the "head of house + reliable caretaker" role junior's played almost all his life has been stolen out from under his nose without his realizing, and he's not really been able to adjust to suddenly being made to depend on yoojin (and, to a degree, jiyeon). yeah it helps a bit that yoojin's his elder self but even so. so he's attempting to re-assert himself in the role he's familiar with, particularly now that he's due to [go to mandatory service and] not see any of these people for months

he’s trying to figure out where he fits in this new family setup, trying to figure out what he can do for his family. and he would’ve started out on a track similar to hhj, trying to be everything for his family, except then the dungeons start appearing.

and what does hhj reveal? that hyj jr is destined to be an f-rank. that most of the useful skills hhj has, the hard-won power that he has, it’s all earned from other places that hyj jr won’t be able to replicate, most likely. and hyh-- hyh is going to be the pride of the family, as always. s-rank, top of the nation, worldwide hero, peerless and amazing.

hyj jr starts feeling like he’s falling behind. he starts feeling a lot of pressure to keep up. as the dungeon shock hits, he decides he’s going to keep up, one way or another.

and then there’s the aftermath of the shock, and all hyj jr can do is- is sit in the hospital room and wait for hhj to be okay. there’s monsters on the streets, yoohyun is out there killing them and making a difference, and all hyj jr is doing is sitting around. all he can do is offer yoohyun emotional support when he gets back, all he can do is keep jiyeon sane when she calls for daily checkins, all he can do is wait for the nurses to check that hhj is still alive. all he can do is support the people around him without actually acting out himself.

all that determination he had during the shock doesn’t get killed by the realization that he can’t actually do much, with his strengths; by the realization that he can’t be a one-man army like hyung is, sometimes. he decides, instead, that he’s got his handful of things he can do, so obviously the only path left is to do them perfectly.

he throws himself into learning to fight; he throws himself into playing support whenever possible (though allowances are made for being bratty, sometimes, the remaining anxiety from the aftermath of the shock leading to him acting out); he throws himself into working for haeyeon, to the point of becoming the deputy guild leader. he throws himself into perfection so hard that he takes the slightest failure to meet his sky-high expectations hard. (”Why can’t i fight high-ranks without being afraid like hyung can,” says local E-rank without his hyung’s L-rank Fear Resistance) because he only needs to be good at these few things, he can’t do anything other than these few things, so why can’t he at least do this perfect, y’know? why can’t he keep up with his family? why is he never good enough?

(what if he gets left behind again for not being good the way they want him to be? he’d only wanted to take care of yoohyun, and look where that got them.)

so basically, hyj jr winds up with the same Need To Be Enough that hhj has-- but where hhj needs to be able to do Everything, hyj jr needs to be able to do Perfectly at his (self-assigned) Roles. where hhj wants to do whatever he decides needs doing, hyj jr has no illusions about his abilities; he knows he can only be the supportive brother, the hard-working guild leader, the caring friend, the perfect whatever. everything else is something he won’t dare to try for, because he Knows he’ll never be enough. and if he ever fails even slightly at the things he can do, it’s an instant game over, anyway.

congrats, junior, you’ve given yourself clinical anxiety!

but yeah, that’s. yoojins.

[morethanonepage]

what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is). 

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses. 

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it. 

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad. 

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire)  & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]). 

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”.  and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh). 

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me. 

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general. 

[esepoimipullula]

Alright, so... this is the utterly self-indulgent essay. XD

For any non-Italian readers: remember the introductory note on my translation of Goofy and The Perfect New Year’s Eve Handbook? About Italian Goofy (Pippo) having a huuuuuuuuuge family? Well, everyone in this family is, ofc, either just as quirky or nearly as quriky as Goofy himself... which makes for a lot of interesting personalities. Like Goofy's cousin, Indiana Pipps. Or Arizona Goof, in English. Presumably to make the joke at least a little bit subtler.

... yes, "the joke" is that he's literally an Indiana Jones parody. Who happens to be related to Goofy and look almost exactly (or exactly, depending on the story) like him. He's an "adventure archaeologist" who spends most of his time scouring South American jungles for lost pre-Colombian temples full of traps and treasure, travelling through scorching deserts to find legendary Egyptian ruins, and stumbling into fantarchaeology/Ancient Aliens/magical/mystical relics. He's brave, smart, passionate, confident to the point of being actually a bit arrogant, kind of reckless and hotheaded, a little rough, rather snarky, and has a strong sense of justice... and a bunch of strange habits and quirks. Like his penchant from entering buildings from the window rather than from the door (because that would be too easy), his preference for sleeping bags over beds and tents over houses (though he does have a house just out of Mouseton... in a dangerous swamp complete with crocodiles), his dislike and distrust for city life in general, and his love for a particular brand of strong-flavored liquorice candies called "Negritas" that almost everyone else finds adsolutely disgusting. Through the years, he's fallen in love with a bunch of female characters (starting with Clarabelle Cow, or so the internet tells me... Goof guys trying to steal her away from Horace must be a bizarre family tradition) and he's had a bunch of female characters fall in love with him, as you can expect considering he's the Dr. Jones of the Mouseverse and everything. But none of these crushes has ever really gone anywhere... whether because of a bout of obliviousness preventing him from realizing his temporary sidekick had been head over heels for him the whole time (sorry, Martina), a misguided attempt to present as a more traditional academic for a nerdy professor who unexpectedly turned out to be really into the adventurer type, or fairy law forbidding him to marry his French fairy sweetheart (yup, that happened).

Ironically, his most constant and long-lasting is with his nemesis, Dr. Kranz. (Nope, no name given.) (Yes, this is going to be an "enemies to lovers" kinda thing... except with, like, A Twist. So if you don't like that kind of dynamic or think people shouldn’t like messed-up ships or anything like that, you'd probably better stop reading.)

Kranz and Indiana appeared together in Indiana's first story, Mickey and Goofy in: Raiders of the Lost Temple by Bruno Sarda, and have been chasing each other for one reason or another ever since. Kranz is an adventure archaeologist, too, but despite being (almost) as skilled and succesful at his job as Indiana, he spends an awful lot of time following him around and trying to steal his discoveries... most often by putting on some disguise, stalking him from a distance, and popping out of nowhere with a gun and a mocking smirk as soon as Indiana finds the hidden lost idol/treasure/artifact/city.

Despite some weird occasional foray into the world of attempted world domination, Kranz is (mostly) into the whole villain business for the money and the fame. The money because he loves luxury (especially fast cars and five-star hotels) and sells a good chunk of what he finds or steals to unscrupulous clients or outright villainous organizations to afford to live the good life, and the fame because he has a big ego and (somehow, still) a reputation as a respectable archaeologist that feeds into it... and he's always trying to overshadow Indiana, because he hates being always second best to him. Which is just as well, because Indiana hates his attempts to steal his own discoveries, his criminal activities, his utter lack of ethics, and his greed. Whenever they see each other without either of them ending up on the wrong end of a gun or tied up for the local authorities to find, they usually still end up at each other's throat anyway. Or at least, insulting and teasing each other the whole time.

Except... it wasn't always like that. Back in the day, Indiana and Kranz were actually students in the same college. And roommates (YES, "and they were roommates!"). And "inseparable" best friends who got along very well despite their differences and genuinely cared for each other. And after graduating, even adventuring partners, at least occasionally. Kranz already loved money and luxury, and Indiana had already started to develop his simpler yet more bizarre tastes, but they were good together.

There's actually a recent mini-series about their college years written by Bruno Sarda himself, Young Indiana. It's pretty much a shipper's delight, as it contains high amounts of fluff, overdramatic (and suspiciously coupley imho) friendship drama with a happy ending, hugs, kisses, straight love drama taking a backseat as the focus stays firmly on the friendship drama, and a certain amount of foreshadowing of (angsty) things to come. But their old friendship was already an established fact before that...

Like in the story Indiana Pipps and the Return of Doctor Kranz, where Indiana ends up telling Mickey the story of how they parted ways and became enemies. Which was apparently inspired by something that happened in the Martin Mystère comics, but I've never read them so I wouldn't know. Long story short, Indiana and Kranz where on an expedition together when they unexpectedly found an absurdly powerful ray gun left behind by Ancient Aliens. As it turned out, by that point Kranz had already been in contact with a shady organization that would have paid good money for something like that, so he proposed they should sell the gun to them and share the profits of the sale. Indiana immediately opposed the idea, of course, being all like, "wtf dude idk about YOU apparently but I have morals and also a sense of professional ethics"... so Kranz knocked him out, took the gun, wrote him a note about how you shouldn't slap good luck away, and fled to the other side of the world, where a man from the organization would await him. But when Indiana woke up, he immediately started trying to track him, eventually ruining the sale right before it could go through and throwing the gun into the sea, where it would never be found again. At that point, Kranz swore he'd have his revenge on him by basically costantly tailing him and ruining his life and career, never leaving him a moment of peace.

Which he's sometimes been pretty succesful at, considering there's been a whole story about Indiana being so stressed due to Kranz appearing out of the blue to ruin his day, it turns into some sort of bizarre mania where he believes everyone and anyone is secretly Kranz in disguise. However, the same story also has Kranz being so stressed due to Indiana constantly foiling his schemes that he goes on a cruise to just forget about him and relax for a while... and ends up jumping off the ship when he mistakenly believes Indiana might be on it, too. So, that's a two-way street, I guess.

So, basically... friends to enemies, genuine affection being ruined by greed and ambition and turning into resentment and spite and straight-up hatred, a degree of mutual obsession and general unhealthiness. But that's not really all there is to their relationship.

There's also stories where they're forced to collaborate to reach the same goal and have to behave more or less civilly, or even where they choose to do so willingly and end up actually still being a good team. There's stories where getting good results while working together makes them behave almost amicably, as much as they're able or willing to. Stories where they acknowledge their past together, if not their old friendship, and even the similarities between them. Stories where they find themselves with someone they both look down down or hate even more than each other, and find some common ground insulting and snarking at them in-between doing the same to each other. Where they grudgingly help each other out.

And then, there's Indiana Pipps e il soccorso obbligato. The story I blame for getting me into this ship in the frist place, when I could be here reading and writing Scroldie or Dimeshipping or Donsy or Mickey/Minnie or literally any other of my Disney comics ships that people other than me actually ship.

In Il soccorso obbligato, Kranz gets kidnapped by some shady guys while he's working on a revolutionary archaeological discovery, except he's not been kidnapped and he's not actually close to finding anything that awesome, and it's all just a convoluted trap to get back at Indiana for laughing at him one time because he's terrible. But Indiana doesn't know that, and so he and Mickey rush to the rescue and fly to a whole other continent to find him...

That story really has everything. From Kranz coming up with a ridiculous and ridiculously cruel plan because he might be used to Indiana insulting him and mocking him but sometimes his former friend laughing at him and acting all superior and better than him still hurts, to Indiana actually falling for it and trying to justify to himself why he does, telling himself that after so many years spent (fighting) together there's a bond between them and he owes it to Kranz... and admitting he’s worried about him. From Indiana still remembering little details about Kranz and their past together and looking almost fond as he talks about them, to Kranz being both petty and obsessed enough to leave a journal full of insults to Indiana for him to find as a clue and setting his password to a mocking phrase about him (and Indiana, who should expect some stuff like that or at least be used to it, still getting riled up and planning on giving Kranz an earful when he finds him). From Kranz assuming Indiana would only come save him if he threw an imaginary fantarchaeological discovery into the mix because then Indiana wouldn't be able to resist his "archaeological curiosity", to Indiana considering said discovery more of a secondary concern and actually regretting and feeling almost guilty for mocking Kranz the last time they saw each other before the supposed kidnapping... and recklessly, unthinkingly running over a thin ice bridge over a gaping chasm just to get to him, throwing all caution to the wind even as he tells himself he doesn't even know why he's doing it. And the way they still KNOW each other despite everything that happened, maybe even because of everything that happened! The angst! The complicated, unspoken, repressed things! Being a softie and a sap, I'm always a sucker for "the hero and the villain actually have a bond and care for each other on some level even if it's not the healthiest or most normal thing"... but considering the history between these two? Though the story in itself is very fun and entertaining, it never fails to break my heart a little.

And in all honesty, I might end up writing fanfictions about them. Fanfictions full of angst and pining and conflicted feelings and "we were never lovers but oh god we could have been --- if you hadn't screwed up everything in the end, at least" college stuff with a mess of obliviousness and repressed feelings, most likely.

[jedi-order-apologist]

It's nice to get confirmation that Filoni drinks the Qui Gon is One Good Jedi kool aid. He probably even buys the whole Anakin would never have fallen had Qui Gon trained him. I kinda suspected since watching Mortis arc, now I know I was right. He is framed like Mufasa from Lion King imparting valuable life lesson to Simba (Anakin). Idk what it is about Qui Gon that has fans absolutely convinced he was everything right. Even Anakin believes Obi-Wan was no Qui Gon in 2003 TCW.

Yeah, his statement was brushing up very close to the “One Good/True Jedi” nonsense (or I suppose, more accurately “small group of personally approved Jedi are the only good/true Jedi”), and he was definitely propping up his faves at the expense of the rest of the Order and I’m...highkey not about that kind of thing. I see it enough from the fandom as it is. I honestly don’t even like it much when people call Obi-Wan (who is unquestionably my favorite) “the perfect Jedi” - an exemplary Jedi, certainly, but I don’t believe that there is such a thing as a “perfect” Jedi, there isn’t one true path for them, each one confronts their fears and resists their temptations in their own way. Their way of life isn’t a static set of standards of “goodness” or “light”, it’s a lifelong commitment and journey of continuous self-improvement and active choice. Their culture’s ideals may be communal, but it’s not about those ideals; rather it’s about the choice to seek them, to strive for them. And that’s a very personal thing, so to me it doesn’t make any sense to elevate any one (or small group of) Jedi at the expense of the others. There isn’t a “most right” under the growth mindset of the Jedi.

He probably even buys the whole Anakin would never have fallen had Qui Gon trained him.

I hope not, because that’s some stale nonsense I’ve seen far too often, that much like most everything else people claim would’ve prevented Anakin from falling, completely discounts Palpatine’s involvement! If Qui-Gon had trained Anakin, Palpatine would’ve still been there, grooming Anakin and manufacturing distrust and resentment wherever he could. Only if Qui-Gon had somehow been able to prevent Palpatine’s access to Anakin from the very beginning (which I suppose is possible, but probably not very likely), would his training as opposed to Obi-Wan’s training have made much of any difference.

But I don’t see Filoni as saying this, since he did say that Ahsoka benefited from Obi-Wan teaching her just as much as she did from Anakin, so he doesn’t seem to think badly on Obi-Wan’s training.

Idk what it is about Qui Gon that has fans absolutely convinced he was everything right. Even Anakin believes Obi-Wan was no Qui Gon in 2003 TCW. 

I mean I can completely see why Anakin would believe that Qui-Gon was the greatest Jedi ever - the man freed him from slavery! And argued for him becoming a Jedi! And then died heroically fighting evil! Of course from Anakin’s perspective he’s going to idolize Qui-Gon and his memory, and Obi-Wan wasn’t going to do anything to dissuade that because of course he’d prefer to remember his master fondly too, and if an overeager kid is asking you to tell stories about him, you’re of course going to share the most flattering ones. So of course it’s very easy for Anakin to conceptualize Qui-Gon as this idealized figure that would’ve been perfect for him - things would be very different if Qui-Gon had survived and Anakin had to contend with the reality of him. Even if his training was good for this AU!Anakin, it would inevitably fall short of what canon!Anakin pictures.

Now where the fandom is concerned...there’s very little basis for this view of Qui-Gon, and mostly seems to me to be simply a matter of them projecting their dislike of or disagreement with (what they perceive to be) the Jedi Code and the Council onto Qui-Gon, because he’s been conveniently identified as going against them sometimes without much specifics on what (or why) he objects to. So when filling in the blanks, it’s easy for fans to assume his views reflect theirs, that he has the same objections they do, that he’s a perfect one-to-one mouthpiece for their issues with the Jedi.

But it’s pure headcanon. Nothing in the films (or even the expanded material that I’ve come across) suggests that Qui-Gon disagreed with Jedi rules on forbidding attachment or controlling emotion, which is what most fans take issue with. All we know from the films is that Qui-Gon doesn’t always follow the Code, and the only direct defiance we see from him is his insistence that they adopt in a child significantly older than typical for training. It’s not framed as a wholesale opposition to everything the Council is (otherwise, why would he be a Jedi? Why would he want Anakin to be trained as a Jedi if he didn’t mostly agree with the Jedi way? There are other Force traditions, and Qui-Gon could easily leave and start his own if he saw everything they did as wrong).

And it’s not even framed as Qui-Gon being in the right, either! I think people see it that way because we’re predisposed from popular culture to expect fictional authority (especially religious authority) to always be the “bad guys” or at least as an obstacle, while the lone wolf going against the grain is the one we’re supposed to root for and see as having the right idea (another probable contributor to that is that Qui-Gon has a pleasant and confidently assured voice and posture, which does a lot for perception of how credible one is). But taken as it is, without that expectation, I don’t see anything in the film that frames the Jedi Council or Qui-Gon that way, and I don’t think I’m supposed to, either, considering how Lucas talks about Qui-Gon in the TPM audio commentary:

[1:30:54] “So here we’re having Qui-Gon wanting to skip the early training and jump right to taking him on as his padawan learner, which is controversial, and ultimately, the source of much of the problems that develop later on.”

[1:34:08] “One of the primary issues between - this relationship between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon is that this is establishing Obi-Wan as the kind of straight arrow, the center of the movie and Qui-Gon as the rebel, this is the one who’s constantly sort of pushing the envelope. Which will switch itself in the next movie, when, rather than having his master be the rebel, he has his padawan learner become the rebel. I’m using Obi-Wan as this centering device through all of these movies, even as we get in with Luke and everyone else later on.”

He’s definitely not elevating Qui-Gon above the other Jedi here - highlighting him as a rebel, yes, but hardly saying that makes him better than the other Jedi for it. He’s fairly neutral and matter-of-fact on Qui-Gon here, really - Qui-Gon being a maverick isn’t right or wrong, it simply is what it is. So I certainly don’t think we’re intended to “side” with Qui-Gon over the Council or Obi-Wan, or make any sort of value judgement on the rest of the Jedi based on Qui-Gon’s relation to them as a maverick, or otherwise see him as the one getting being a Jedi “the most right”.

[painted-crow]

Submission time #6

Primary Mess

Hi, I’m having trouble figuring out my primary. Could you please help? Secondary wise, I’m a Lion with a Bird model. My family culture is definitely Snake, which probably has influenced my morals. My mother especially is a VERY loud Snake primary. 

Paint: Good to know!

Just a reminder to everyone about how the submission format around here works, the original submission will be indented and my comments/responses will be in blue, like this.

Because this one is structured around the quiz, I'm also going to be coloring the quiz questions in pink, just so they're easier to pick out.

I doubt Badger because I'm not really attached to my community. I was at one point, but I doubt some of their beliefs so I've drawn away. Snake I've been evaluating all my relationships and there's no one I trust that much or who I'm that close to. I don't think it bothers me as much as a snake either.  Lion just feels like too much. I'm not that righteous. Bird, I don't think I'm that adaptable. Also I doubt I have a system, Idk tho.

Okay, so you're probably an Idealist! You disconnected from your community because of beliefs/ideals, which is a very Idealist thing to do (although it's less firm if the beliefs that pushed you away were extreme--Loyalists will definitely draw a line if their people start hurting others). Importantly, you don't sound very upset about it, which is also very Idealist.

Remember that Lions don't have to be confident or righteous. Burned Lions in particular distrust their own judgment.

Remember that not all Birds are flexible. Some cling hard to their systems, unwilling to change or adjust even small beliefs. Others have a core to their system that they're very firm about, and everything else is adaptable (I'm one of those). Others are willing to change basically anything given enough time and evidence. Systems aren't flexible by definition.

We can Fall/Burn if an integral/core part of our system collapses, or if we lose our confidence in being able to perceive reality accurately enough and make decisions about it. Fallen Birds aren't what you'd describe as flexible, either.

Sorry in advance for this being so long.... 

Ambivalent answers: (had trouble with)

If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?

I don’t care about whether or not my community disagrees with me. I would probably feel judged to some degree, but honestly that makes me feel even more stubborn in my decision. I barely know most of the people in my community, they’re only acquaintances. If I cared about what they thought, I would go crazy. 

My family is a different matter. I would listen to them and take their opinions into account, but in the end I need to think my decision is right. I’m the one who has to live with it, so I should agree with it too. Sometimes I’ll bend because I may not care too much about the outcome or I can have the outcome fit what I want by listening to others' advice. I have avoided conflict in the past with family members by just shutting up, but most of the time I have a very vocal opinion. (That may relate to my secondary tho.) 

I think out of all the answers, I agree with, “Yes, because I have to live with and around them and they can make my life more difficult with their disapproval.” “It might be hard, but I’ve got to do what I think is right.” and “I don’t care about what the larger community says, but if people really close to me are against something, then I’m less likely to go through with it.” It honestly depends on what the situation is. 

This seems like more evidence that you're an Idealist primary. Leaning towards Lion so far.

Would you lie to an acquaintance to save their peace of mind?

The key word in this question is acquaintance. I wouldn’t really feel guilty telling a stranger the straight up truth. Lying just makes your life more complicated. It easier to tell people the truth and no one deserves to be lied to. I think that ties into my Lion secondary. I tend to simply tell the truth at most given opportunities. It's just easier. I will hide the truth though. Lying makes me feel icky but simply choosing not to tell someone something doesn't feel quite as wrong. Sometimes I feel guilty about telling the truth about personal things because, “oh no, now this person has power over me and I don’t know if they’re trustworthy.” However, that doesn’t happen too often anymore. I just don't tell anyone when I'm in pain. It's none of their business and why should they care anyway? They have better things to do. 

I am usually more careful with my friends though. I still will tell the truth most of the time. It's too hard to keep up a lie and it makes me feel bad. I think the exception to the no lying thing would be if I think the person will attack me for telling the truth. I don't need that kind of emotional abuse. 

So basically I chose, “I would if lying made my life easier and it wouldn’t make me feel bad at all.” I didn't think I wouldn’t lie is precise enough. I wasn’t sure exactly what they meant by acquaintance. Like how well do you know this person? Also can I trust them not to lash out at me for telling them the truth?

Since you said lying makes you feel icky, I don't think that's the answer you want to go for--"I wouldn't lie" seems closer to what you mean.

When you’re making a decision and you’re stuck, what should you do?

Honestly, this question makes me feel weird. I need to find what makes sense, but I also have to be able to agree with my decision feelings wise. I will listen to advice from other people and try to learn at least a little about the topic before making a decision. I would probably also freeze up, especially if it’s a sudden decision or there are too many options to choose from. 

I chose the, “I need to take a breath…”

This still has me leaning towards Lion for you.

Does disagreeing with your closest friends about something important to you make you love them less? 

No, they’re my friends because of who they are, not what they believe. (which I realize is basically almost the same thing, but idk how else to explain) As long as they don’t believe something horrible that involves hurting people our friendship won’t be affected. Your political views or opinions about certain things aren't going to affect our friendship. I may respect them less but it wouldn’t be over something minor or because of one situation. I don’t think I would have been their friend or even liked them very much if they were “bad” people. It takes time for me to really establish someone as one of my closest friends so by then I know them pretty well so something like this is less likely to happen. 

Huh, interesting! You might have some Snake to your Sorting.

Which of these statements is more true for you?

I think I would choose to stand by the people I love. There are always exceptions though. If it was about standing with them for a cause, it depends on the cause. If they’re standing for something wrong, like against basic human rights, I don’t think I could support them. I have to be able to stomach it. I trust that my people wouldn’t do something like that though. If it was against a person, I’m afraid I would be biased towards my people. Once I commit I'll stick by them. You can’t just abandon people you love, what’s the point of loving them if you don’t support them? 

If you're a Lion, I think you have a Snake model--or you have Snake ideals coded as "good" in your intuition. This seems like a strong possible Sorting for you.

You might yet be a Snake with a Lion model, though.

Vehement answers: (strongly agree)

What’s your top priority?

Automatically my mind went to a specific goal of mine. I felt guilty immediately because shouldn’t it be family? Making the world a better place didn’t even come close.  I ended up choosing my goals and feeling incredibly guilty about it. It just seems selfish to say that, but I wanted to be as honest as possible.

Remember, primaries are aspirational, and your knee-jerk reaction isn't necessarily your truest one/what you really think. (The fact that you think it *is* kind of supports the Lion theory, lol.) It's just surface thoughts, or what you've been conditioned to think.

It'd help the quiz if you picked an answer you don't feel guilty for prioritizing. You should feel right in choosing your answers, even if you don't always live up to them.

Would you feel worse abandoning a stranger in need or turning our back on your closest friend?

This one was easy, my closest friend. If it was a stranger who really really needed me I would feel guilty, but I would feel worse abandoning someone I’ve loved for years.

Again, this is either Snake or Lion with a lot of Snakey loyalty baked in.

Loving people is a lot of trouble.

Agreed. Worth it? Idk.

xD

What if everyone you loved left you? They betrayed you, abandoned you, or died, and you’re hurting. What keeps you moving forward?

This one was easy. I don’t think I would survive that. I lost a friend in the past and was just really upset and angry about being abandoned for a long time. I would just harden up and stop letting people in. I would basically just work. Set goals and throw myself into accomplishing them like a machine.

Huh, I don't really know what to say about this Sorting wise. That sounds rough though, I'm sorry you had to go through that :c

What if you realized that absolutely everything you thought true was wrong? The authorities you’d trusted, the beliefs you’d held, the wrongs you’d fought against?

I chose, “I’d have to go sit by myself in a corner….” That trust being broken would be shattering. I don’t have too much faith in authorities, probably because they’re not close to me. Yes, they affect my lives but I have no personal attachments to them. However, having conflicting beliefs is one of the things that really hurts. You don’t know which belief is right, and what if the one you decide is right is really wrong? If all my beliefs were actually proved wrong I’m not sure I would know what to do with myself. 

Not to read too much into this, but the word "trust" here is interesting! What is it you're trusting? You say yourself that it's not trust in authority. Other people are important to you, but it seems like you don't lean on them too heavily for your own morality. It seems like you're talking about trust in yourself, and that's the core of a Lion's primary.

You can’t help everyone in the world who needs it, but you wish you could.

I help people when I can and when I see someone who needs me and I choose to walk away I feel guilty. I don't worry about it enough to choose the "It makes me feel like a bad person sometimes," answer.

Fair enough! This doesn't contradict any previous information, so let's keep moving.

Do you listen to your intuition? 

This one was fairly simple? Umm it depends, when I have nothing else to go on, yes. Sometimes it's wrong and sometimes it's right. I can trust it with moral decisions most of the time or about certain people. If I get weird vibes, I’ll usually be more wary. Thinking about it now, I’m realizing that I do tend to avoid things that make me feel wrong, and the decisions I’m most assured in usually feel right. I do like to validate my feeling when I can though. I don't value being overly emotional or acting on pure emotion because it can cloud your judgment. I try to validate my feelings with proof before jumping in to things. 

Yep, that's a Lion response! Lions can be cautious and want to back up their intuition with evidence, or give decisions time and consideration, but overall they're going to be most confident and stable-feeling when they follow their intuition.

Someone points out a flaw in your logic. Their argument makes sense, but there’s something about it that just bothers you. Do you change your ways because of what they said? 

Not right away, no. I would have to go think about it, but it’s pretty unlikely that I’ll change my mind, especially if it's about a moral viewpoint. When it comes to a moral viewpoint, I have usually had an internal debate with myself already. What do I feel is right about this and what is wrong? Unless it really really bothers me and what they pointed out makes me feel like a bad person, I won't change my mind completely. I very firmly believe there is no one yes or no answer to important moral questions. It depends on the circumstances.

That feels very Lion to me, especially the "unless the dilemma makes me feel like a bad person" bit. You have Snakey values, but the source of your moral decision making seems to mostly come from your internal compass.

I’ve taken the quiz multiple times, and read all the primary posts and the ones I've stuck with longest are Snake and Lion. I have thought I was a Bird or a Badger too though. 

Please feel free to ignore this if I'm being annoying. 

I can see why you landed with the Internal primaries, yeah--and I'm with you, I think you're almost certainly one of those two and you model the other.

I do think you're a Lion who's modeling Snake, though. Your intuition says that Snake ideals are good and worthy, that it's right to be loyal to those you care for--but it sounds to me like you're thinking and talking about it in a very Idealist flavored way.

It's ultimately up to you to decide, but I hope this helps!

--Paint

[mochuelovelli]

ASOUE AU? ASOUE AU. Pt 1 (Characters)

Okay so I just posted a little doodle I did for an A Series of Unfortunate Events AU that I had been thinking about ever since I realized that Esmé was obviously Magica's VA (which was 3 days ago so oop). I don't have all the characters figured out right now (mostly bc quite frankly there aren't really enough adults that act so... neglectful towards the kids in ducktales). I'll list the ones I am pretty concrete on VS the ones I'm unsure or ones that I "reimagined" due to not everyone fitting perfectly in this world.

Characters that are Definite:

Glomgold as Count Olaf: Think about it, horrible actor/cosplayer (yes thats what he is). Both obsessed about riches, revenge and are generally incompetent. Really, Olaf is much more wicked in the ASOUE series imo (bc even tho Glomgold wants to kill Scrooge and steal his money. This anger only extends his wards if he wishes to use them against Scrooge and is less keen on the murdering of kids. Notice I said LESS). Not 100% if I want him to be as...well explicit as Olaf can be at times. Especially his characterization in the Bad Beginning if you know what I mean (pst it's child marriage)

Magicia DeSpell as Esmé Squalor: Like I said, this is a no brainer. She has the stage performance of Magicia with a bit of Mark Beaks Mom (forget her name) mixed in. Probably would downplay her love for fashion and replace it with an obsession with the occult. I would also not have her be obsessed with Glomgold, its more in character for Glomgold to be obsessed with her anyhow. It is also possible bc I tend to believe she is a more compelling villian in canon that she might take the place of Glomgold on the Island in "The End". But I also plan for Scrooges Number One Dime to replace the Sugar bowl so, maybe not.

Doofus Drake as Calmanita Splats: Duh, spoiled brat who is very creepy and probably has parents that want them dead? Instead of wanting to sing all the time he mainly wants to wreak things/people. He still definitely dresses up tho into a hodgepodge of things. It always changes and Glomgold is always annoyed by this but he likes him more than Magicia. She definitely wants him dead just like Olaf in the series (she really hates kids).

Duckworth as Larry your waiter: Yeah not much competition for this role. It was either him or Launchpad. Duckworth is too perfect for this role and he honestly will play a better spy than canon Larry. If I ever write it out a lot of the "fight scenes" and anime-esque "explaining how I fooled you" dialogue will definitely be reworked but still present. I will however not keep out the main theme of neglect or ignorance with the adults, they will still fail in that regard as always but will just not literally stand there and tell Olaf "We finally caught you, now let me explain why we are so smart oh no you set something on fire again". I mean...maybe for a Mr. Poe but not the VFD. Or...SHUSH I should say but more on that later (or in another post who knows?)

Scrooge McDuck as Lemony Snicket (sorta): Okay so OBVIOUSLY we can't have our "Lemony" have the hots for the McDuck siblings mom (yes another thing I must explain oh boy). Scrooge will still be gilted in love by, of course Goldie though I am still not 100% if she should play part of the the role of Kit Snicket (again NOT related to Scrooge) or should she be someone else entirely. Scrooge is basically the reason everything is happening in this AU just like the canon Lemony but writes sad letters to Donald and Della as well as Goldie. As you might of well guessed, Scrooge's Fortune is also the riches the McDuck's have.

Fethry Duck as Dr. Monty: Of course a snake lover will become a marine lover in this AU! Also of COURSE Mitzy will play the roles of the incredibly deadly viper AND the great unknown! Fethry and Dr. Monty not being mentioned by their family but also too enthralled with their studies to care all that much (but seriously thats fucked up ducktales). Totally made for this role. As far as setting goes this will be where the siblings will be underwater first but since the series already has plently of aquatic locals I will probably swap out the Lake Lacamose story with Peru or the Galapagos. Speaking of...

Ms. Quackfaster as Aunt Josephine: For narrative purposes it would make sense that Ms. Quackfaster would lose her edge as a brave and bold woman. For what exact reason I am still trying to figure out. Not sure if I still want to keep the "Ike" storyline, maybe she just got really spooked by FOWL. Maybe some creature from the Galapagos ate her leg or something.

Ma Beagle as Dr. Orwell: This particular role was sort of hard for me to cast due to the fact that Dr. Orwell is older and romantically involved with Olaf (at least its sorta there). I really didn't want to give this role to Owlson bc other than she isn't a bad person, she is also way too young. Ma Beagle already has a similar motivation im canon to want to reclaim Duckburg as Beagleburg so the Terrible Mills plot to frame the B for causing a fire in order to have control over the mill is very in line with Ma. I originally wanted the Beagle Boys be working in the Mill but since I am changing the setting to Egypt, I decided to use the people stuck in the pyrimid (idk what they are actually called) and will either use Amulet, Launchpad or Dijin as Cookie

Characters that are Mixed with others:

Huey Duck as the Narrative Role of Violet B.: I mostly imagined(?) the kid characters in a approximation of set characters from the books/series. For this reason, Huey plays the ROLE of Violet Baudelaire so that he can take the "inventor" occupation. I went back and forth on finding who would have Violet's quirk of using an object to help her think. My mind originally went to Webby since she has a bow and I wanted Huey's obsession with the Incomplete History of Secret Organizations to take the place of his JWG. However I reworked it so that Huey's JWG would act as Violet's ribbon with him having to flip through his beat up (and slightly burnt) journal to find a quick solution or just to calm his nerves. Something that applies to all the triplets and twins is that their last names are changed to "McDuck" mostly bc it sounds better that they are later called the "McDuck Murders" instead of the "Duck Murders" as well as Scrooges edited role in the kids lives. He has a mix of Klaus' social awkwardness and habit of talking at length about his special interests to whoever will listen. Huey is also the one who gets hypnotized in the Miserable Mill ep.

Louie Duck as the Narrative Role of Sunny B.: Pretty sure I swapped Louie and Webby for this role in my first post but whatever. I wanted to confusingly change Klaus' role into a "Charmer" or "smooth talker" (obviously still a work in progress) since I felt that Huey in DuckTales canon was always well researched as well a good mechanic and having two characters who pretty much fit the same role was... redundant. I also wanted to really make Webby's Sunny much more inline with her notorious/abnormal fighting abilities. However, I realized that instead of changing Klaus' role I should just change Sunny's characterization since I would have to rework it anyways since she was a baby. I also got the idea from recently rewatching the series and saw Sunny basically trick her way out of being trapped with the Hook handed man (i.e. Fernald). I will instead make Louie's role as what he functionally is in DuckTales (the guy who can talk his way out of anything). He would probably also say his occupation is "Defense Attorney" or something along those lines. He is also the one who gets captured the most but not by much. However while he still has Sunny's sarcasm, he also has Klaus' inherit skeptism and distrust of adults.

Webby Vanderquack as the Narrative Role of Klaus B.: Like I said in Louie's segment, Webby is changed to Klaus or more accurately the "Researcher" of the group. She is often the one who stays up late, researching ways to get out of Glomgold's schemes. Unlike Klaus though, she has more of the optimism of Violet but might not put as much belief into all authority as Huey might. She still has role models that she looks up to but isn't against bending the rules. She also unfortunately takes Violet's role of becoming "Olaf's bride" in the Bad Beginning. In the story she has always lived with the McDucks but didn't take their name and still had Mrs. B (until she was around 10, she was 12ish when the fire happened). However, she is still in the McDuck Will and therefore Glomgold hatches a plan to use her to get the fortune. She also tricks him by signing her name "Vanderduck" or "McDuck" instead of Vanderquack to make the marriage null in void. She is also a mix of Sunny since she is generally the most physically capable out of the children.

Dewey Duck as the Narrative Role as Quigley Quagmire: Okay honestly after a rewatch, I don't exactly know what makes Duncan and Quigley that different from each other. I'm pretty sure Duncan is the Klaus of his siblings but whatever. Dewey mostly just 1/2 of the reveal that two people survived the fire during the Carnival segment (which is changed to an underground wrestling theme for reasons to be explained). I am fairly certain that during the last part of the Village of Fowl Devotees I want Dewey be the one left behind with Webby and Lena that way we can have more time spent with him and Weblena/ Magicia v Lena drama. Dewey's occupation would be "Comedian/Host/Actor" . He also is the one the adults ignore during the first half and will be the subject of Triplet/only child jokes that the Quagmires face.

Gosalyn Mallard as the Narrative Role of Duncan Quagmire: Okay so like, no she isn't related or adopted by the Quagmires

Lena Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Isadora Quagmire: c'mon both these kids like poetry. Literally I can think of no other DuckTales kid that likes that (other than Webby but that was more of her liking Lena's stuff). She will still have her background as Magica's niece and might take some of the role of Fernald where he gets redeemed by betraying Olaf/saving Sunny. I am unsure by what extent though as she isn't going to be a henchperson of Glomgold or Magica. It might be that she is uses morally questionable ways to get what she wants/needs. Maybe she is "good" but has to commit a terrible act similar to how the Baudelaires have to burn down the carnival.

Characters that I am uncertain about or straight up don't have someone in that role:

Violet Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Fiona Widdershins: Like Fiona, Violet was also originally distrusted by a part of the cast (in this AU, it probably be Webby and/or Louie as Huey catches feelings lol). She is also obsessed with the occult not fungus and has to save probably Louie from losing his soul or something (wip). Violet more than any of the main cast of kids will probably act more like her canon self since she is naturally straight forward and booksmart. She probably gets forced to stay with Glomgold until her and Lena can escape again. Also since I didn't want it to be another underwater local and wanted it to relate to DuckTales17 a bit more closely I thought it be better if they were in the sky. Maybe Violet got the Sun chaser or maybe even the Spear of Selene. Maybe instead of going to look for their dads (since they are dead oof) they come back at The End to tell the McDuck Siblings et all that they might of found something...or someone important.

Boyd as the Narrative Role of Friday: This is definitely more of a stretch as really he is only Friday because in role only because I want him at the Island at The End so that he can save the siblings from whatever organic incident happens since he is still an android. I previously thought he could also fit the role of Fernald since he could go through a redemption arc easier due to him sorta going through one in the show. Its not out of the realm of possibility that Glomgold could have reprogrammed him to obey him (he might still do something similar I haven't figured it out 100%).

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera as the narrative role of Hector: He probably won't faint as much as Hector but he will have to be pushed by the kids to be confident in himself during the Vile Village (which will probably change to a Capital city since I plan to rework FOWL into this). Maybe its similar to a military academy which makes having a set of rules make sense. Its also possible that Fenton escapes with some of the kids in the Sunchaser by the end of this.

Steelbeak as the Narrative Role of Fernald Widdershins: I mainly chose him because Steelbeak and Hookhanded man both most clearly are shown to be sympathic antagonists. They are still functionally villians, much more so than any of the children like Boyd or Lena who, yeah, have done bad things but in one case wasn't given the freewill to decide for himself or was but when she decided to stand up for herself she was literally tortured and had her freedom taken away (more so than in the beginning since. Steelbeak would, like Fernald, be making a choice as an adult man to be apart of a mad man's troop and was harden enough to commit murder if it meant he could impress his boss. But because he is not related to (by blood or otherwise) any protagonist I struggle to know where to put him. I might still have him defect during the end of what would have been the Grim Grotto ep and comes back with the Saberwings at The End. Maybe he brings Gosalyn back after finding her at some point, maybe he dies somewhere towards The End. Not sure.

Gladstone/Ghost of Christmas Past/News Reporter Lady as the Narrative Role of Mr. Poe/Mr. Poes Wife: wow this one is really confusing. My reasoning behind these picks is because The News lady would be a great pick for Mr. Poe's wife or at least a substitute as she has similar motivations in DT17. The biggest set back for her tho is that she has no reason to be on the Baudelaire case (or McDuck case anyways). Ghost of Christmas past is a bit of a stretch since why the fuck would he be in charge of making sure the kids had guardians? I mainly want him just bc of his motivation (or lack thereof) to do his job and being incompetent at it. Gladstone while making some sense that he also would be uncaring about where the kids go is also a stretch given he is a relative and he while he might not care 100% about their whereabouts he wouldn't lose them like Mr. Poe would simply bc he is so damn Lucky. Its possible to work that against him, maybe in a scenerios like where he drops off the kids but gets whisked away because some rando gifts him a boat. Still unsure.

Mrs. Beakley as either the Narrative Role of Jaclyn S (Mr. Poes Secretary/VFD spy)., Olivia C. (Librarian): I want Mrs. B to have a role which fits her being experienced and competent but also met a tragic demise. I might mix the experience of JS with the fate of OC. Poor Webby.

Justice Strauss as ???: I'll be honest, I am stumped with this one. This is a very important role to fill and I can't quite find an adult character that fits the bill of Justice Strauss. Mrs. B is too smart, Launchpad studying law while ridiculous, is something inline with the show but he doesn't have a DT17 motivation similar enough to Strauss where he's desires can be exploited nor has he really want kids in the same sense as Strauss. Drake Mallard is close since he is an actor but having him work with law is a bit of a stretch, I also think that making him somewhat bumbling is an insult to his character but Strauss is tragic since she WANTS to very much be the Baudelaires guardian but fails so much. Maybe in a safer world she could have been, maybe if they were luckier. She loves them so much, but they run away where she can't find them to at least try to be there for them and is left heart broken by the end. Whoever becomes JS is in for a world of hurt and I'm sorry. Goofy could also be a replacement, maybe Max died for more angst 😬.

Goldie or Daisy as the narrative role of Kit Snicket: This kinda gets really fanfic-y as neither of these characters really fit nicely into this role. Goldie definitely has the skill of Kit and her disregard for the rules but the pregnancy thing is... something. Not entirely sure if I actually want her to be pregnant but I also want a Beatrice II type character (of course she would be named Della II) but again very fanfic-y. Daisy I am more comfortable being the one who gets pregnant, she might take Olivias role as the new VFD recruit instead of Kits more seasoned one. All I know is that if either or both outcomes exist they will die also a Dewey Deanumont(?) Character wouldn't be the father it would of course be Donald or Scrooge depending who gets pregnant.

Jacques Snicket as ???: Another mystery for me. Functionally? Maybe Manny could play this role or even Launchpad (he really is just my go to for any character idk about huh?) Whoever it is will die but wont have a romance with the Olivia character(s). Maybe its Goofy lmao.

This is quite long enough, let me know if y'all got any more ideas. I'll edit this when I can since I am tired of writing. Please comment or reblog for suggestions and the like thx u. And please...Look Away while you still can.

[verannaca]

Some Things Change

Hello

here’s an angsty emotional kristanna drabble

i wrote this in the shower on my phone so it’s probably lazy??? idk

(this does contain/reflect major Frozen 2 spoilers, so please beware)

He didn't understand what could have possibly possessed her to run onto that dam. It was an accident. It had to be. Mattias had almost grabbed her hand. Almost. But almost didn't count. It didn't matter that their fingers touched. It didn't matter that she was petrified. Seemingly alone in the world, Kristoff is left to ask himself: "what now?"

***Fic contains emotional trauma, mention of panic attacks, mention of sex, & mentions of death, loss, and grief.

XXXXX

When we ask for change, it doesn't happen. When we're desperate for something new, it doesn't come. Change comes when we least expect it. When we need it the least. When we're at our worst. And it's never a good change, is it? It's always something we're not prepared for. Something we'd never expect. Something that was never meant to happen.

Isn't that true?

It had to be true. There couldn't be an alternative. If there was, things would be different. Life would be good. The world wouldn't be empty; meaningless.

The future was calling. It was so loud; it was certain to come. Things were looking up. Everything was perfect.

And then...

Well, then things were the opposite of perfect. Suddenly, there was no future. Suddenly, without warning, nothing mattered anymore.

He didn't understand. None of it made sense. Her actions. Her expressions. Her behaviour. It was so not her. She was reckless. Dangerous. Moving faster than usual. Everything happened too quickly. She was right there. And then she was gone.

He didn't understand what could have possibly possessed her to run onto that dam. It was obvious that her plan was working; it was going to fall. Could she have possibly intended on falling with it?

No. Of course not. She was stronger than that. Whatever she'd face—whatever she'd endured that made her behave so recklessly—nothing was strong enough to take her down for good.

It was a mistake. An accident. It had to be.

Mattias had almost grabbed her hand. Almost. But almost didn't count. It didn't matter that their fingers touched. It didn't matter that she was close enough to him that he could hear the panic in her breathing. It didn't matter that she was petrified. It didn't matter.

The stone broke beneath them. She didn't jump far enough. He didn't grab her.

Kristoff had run to the edge to help; he'd almost grabbed her, too. But he didn't. He couldn't. Instead, they were doomed to watch helplessly as she fell. She didn't fall far before the water swept her away.

The world went dark then.

They watched the waves go on. They knew it was over. All was lost.

Hours had passed before Mattias convinced Kristoff to return with them. He'd forgotten about the initial mission. The forest. Did it matter now? Did anything matter now?

It was on the quiet journey back that things began to make sense. Mattias had relayed the initial message.

"My sister gave her life for the truth."

She was gone. They were gone. How could that happen? How could they be gone? They were just there.

Anna knew. That's why she was reckless. She was grieving. Again. She'd lost everything. Again. But she kept going. Because that's what she does. That's what she always does. The next right thing.

But what was right about this?

It was an accident. He couldn't stay mad. He wasn't mad at her. Even though, now he had nothing. Everything fell when she did.

She didn't want to fall. She was scared. She scared herself. She became aware of her actions. She tried to save herself. But it was too late.

He paid no attention to the people of the forest. He didn't know what came next, though it didn't truly matter. There was no home to return to. Nothing left of hers to hold on to. Just a ring—a ring that she never saw.

He'd made his way to another cliff-side, looking out over the open sea. He had wondered if they'd ever find her, but he quickly shook away such thoughts.

He kept thinking about the time they'd met. They weren't particularly nostalgic people, but they loved to reflect on and appreciate their relationship. They'd always had a giggled over their first exchange; they'd assumed most couples had a romantic first meeting, with quotable first words, but they didn't.

"Carrots."

"Huh? Oh! Excuse me."

It made him smile. He remembered the first time they'd truly talked; she was demanding and authoritative, but it was as if she was unsure of her own ability to have authority. She wanted to be demanding, but she also had to be polite. It was in her genes. Their journey up the mountain became more memorable as they'd spent more time together. They'd been alone in the woods for days before he had to return her to her kingdom and leave her behind. Then, on that same day, as he'd realised just how much she truly meant to him—she was gone. He never thought that would be the first time. That was supposed to be the only time.

Yet here he was again; except she wasn't there to stare at. She wasn't there to watch and mourn. There was nothing left of her.

No family. No belongings. No bedroom. No home. Nothing. Just a memory; one that would soon become distant.

They lived together for three years. He remembered the first time she suggested he move in. He declined politely; living in a castle just wasn't quite for him. But he began to miss her during those long nights. Their connection developed faster than they originally wanted it to. They'd agreed to take things slow. She was battling her own insecurities, and her own self-distrust, and he was understanding of that. Plus, in the beginning, she needed time to reconnect with Elsa.

It was good that they stayed apart. It helped them focus on creating a base. They wanted to, above all else, be friends. Best friends. It was easy. And also, incredibly difficult. They wanted each other. Badly. Their anxieties began to falter as they began to realise that their feelings were real. They weren't just new and hormonal. They were falling head-over-heels for each other.

He remembered the first time they'd made love. It was significant to him; not because of the sex, but because of the connection. They'd been nervous at first; right before it started, they'd stopped to mutually check in with each other. They agreed to be real. It was awkward. Gods, was it awkward. But that made them laugh at and with each other. They kept talking; asking questions, talking too fast—anything to be present. Anything to make the other person happy. Of course, there was plenty of romance. Many moments of silence. Moments when all that could be heard was breathing and moaning. They'd stayed in private for a while; after they'd finished, they talked about their near future. They were both desperate for confirmation that this was going to last. Anna had an irrational fear of being used- she'd quickly apologised for suggesting such a thing, but Kristoff was understanding. He was afraid that she'd find a real prince and move on unbothered. He had no idea how he came to deserve her. But he was beginning to learn: it isn't about deserve.

Oh, what he'd do to hold her again. To wrap his arms around her petite body, and hold her head close to his chest. How badly he wanted to run his hands through her thick, auburn hair. He could stare into her aqua eyes for an eternity.

But he'd never get to again.

And the two closest things to Anna, were gone.

Now what?

He opened his eyes for a moment. He needed to check in with reality; he knew he couldn't live in memories. He saw something coming across the water, moving at a high rate of speed.

Elsa.

A small mercy.

He'd quickly made his way down the rocks, standing on the beach to wait for her. She arrived quickly; sliding off the Nokk, and moved swiftly towards him. She smiled; "Where's Anna? I have something to tell her."

But her smile faded as she saw the silent tears. Her heart began to beat at an unnatural pace. She'd known Kristoff for nearly just as long as Anna had, though of course not as well. She knew how to read him, and these were not tears of joy or relief.

No. Elsa was a reminder of what was lost. He'd never noticed before just how similar they looked. The big, round eyes, the button nose, the light dusting of freckles that covered her nose and cheeks—they weren't identical to Anna, but at that time, in that moment; all he could see was her.

"Anna?" Elsa had prompted, voice beginning to shake.

The world came rushing back to him. His heart broke all over again as he realised that he'd now have to tell Elsa that her sister was gone again. And this time, love couldn't save her. He tried to find the words, but couldn't. What was he to say?

He didn't have to say anything. Elsa knew instantly. Her legs trembled beneath her, and just as she began to fall, Kristoff scooped her into a tight embrace. They wrapped their arms around each other, and sobbed.

This was the end. It was the end of everything they'd known; everything they'd fought for. Much of their own relationship was founded by their mutual love for Anna.

It wasn't supposed to go this way. She wasn't supposed to be the one to die. Not again. That's not fair. She's too good for this world. Too powerful. Too strong. Surely, she was okay.

Elsa let out a scream she didn't know she was holding in. It echoed against the rocks, bouncing off the water. Kristoff held her tighter, forcing the air out of her lungs. She wheezed under the pressure, but fell limp. Her eyes opened halfway and stared blankly at the rocks.

Kristoff kept his eyes shut tight. He had a handful of Elsa's loose hair; the other hand firmly grasping around her ribcage. Surely, he was hurting her; pulling against her head, and stabbing her side with his fingers. Neither of them seemed to notice. It didn't matter. She was alive after all.

She was alive after all.

Did Anna die for nothing? Her behaviour, her grief—was it all for nothing? Was she simply mistaken?

It was his turn to break down—he wasn't really the “emotional kind” around anyone other than Anna, but this was simply too much. This pain was too much.

Then, a voice broke into their world. Mattias was calling to them.

It took every ounce of his energy to release Elsa and turn around; she fell limp, head falling hard as his shoulder moved out from under her chin. She barely caught herself. Kristoff looked up, holding up a hand to shield his eyes from the sun.

Mattias was gesturing for them to come back up. "It's the Princess!"

That's not fair. Kristoff looked at Elsa, who was sitting silently, shaking. Her head was hung low; tears stained her cheeks.

He'd figured he was dreaming. Maybe he'd dosed off while holding her. Mattias wouldn't play games like that. It was a trick.

And then they heard it.

That delicate, but loud voice. It echoed from above them as it called his name. "KRISTOFF!"

Kristoff would've ignored it if it weren't for the fact that Elsa's head shot up.

That's not possible.

Then, he remembered the spirits. It occurred to him in that moment that maybe—just maybe—the spirits saved Anna.

Before he could truly come to his senses, Elsa was already running. He watched her go for a moment before his brain was able to catch up; then he fell to his feet and sprinted to follow.

Elsa climbed up those rocks faster than she'd ever moved before. She knew Kristoff was right behind her. They got to the surface and helped each other to their feet; their hands found each other and held on tight, as their eyes searched the area.

Then he saw her. She was a distance away, but he knew. He just knew. He practically screamed her name as he bolted towards her. She spun around and did the same as she began to run in his direction.

Elsa stayed still for a moment, breathing heavily. She was disoriented. This wasn't how she thought they'd be reunited. But that didn't matter. Anna is alive. Elsa quickly ran after them.

Kristoff and Anna collided with such force, they spun and fell to the ground. Their arms found their way around each other as they cried.

"I didn't mean it; I didn't mean it!" "I know—I know, Anna!" "I'm so sorry—I just needed to do what was right, and—" "It's okay; everything's okay now."

They pulled out of their embrace, just enough to look each other in the eye. Anna didn't hesitate to kiss him; it was more passionate than it would've been if they'd known Elsa had been watching.

Anna apologised again and again, but Kristoff only told her it was okay as he ran his hands over her drenched hair, soon cupping her face in his hands. She was cold to the touch—he couldn't tell if she was shivering from the cold, or her adrenaline.

"Anna, Anna—" he interrupted her fast-paced words with a gentle but urgent tone. "Turn around."

She sniffled, taking a few shaky breaths as her brain processed his words. "What?"

"Turn around," he said, voice and expression now calm and relieved.

She slowly looked over her shoulder, then spun and fell as she saw her sister standing a few feet behind her. She stared for a moment, and Elsa crouched down, resting her knees on the grass. She leaned towards her sister with wide, teary eyes; "Anna? Y-you're okay?"

Anna wanted to scream in that moment, but she refrained from doing so. Instead, she let out a sob-filled laugh and crawled towards her sister. They pulled themselves into each other's arms, hugged each other tighter than ever, and sobbed together.

"I thought I'd lost you!" "Lost me?! You saved me! Again." "But you were gone! Olaf melted, and—" "I had to go deep to find the answers; I'm so sorry I scared you—the spirits returned their gift once you did what was right!"

Anna pulled out if the embrace to look her sister in the face. "Do you have any idea what you did to me?! The pain! The last time we saw each other, we were fighting! I was so angry, Elsa! And you left me!"

Kristoff grabbed Anna's arms from behind. It was a calming embrace. It let her know she wasn't alone anymore. She was okay. She relaxed a bit under his touch.

"I know, I know," Elsa quickly defended. She held on tight to her sister, keeping a hold on one hand, and keeping her other hand on Anna's cheek. "I should've handled things differently; I just got so caught up—I didn't realise at the time." She choked, coughing as she tried to calm down. Her breath hitched and she felt a panic-attack coming on. "I just wanted to protect you."

"What am I supposed to do without you?"

Anna's voice was so soft and broken that it physically hurt both Elsa and Kristoff. They exchanged a look, then realised Anna was talking to both of them. She leaned back, falling into Kristoff's embrace, and as she fell, she pulled Elsa in close to her chest. "I need you." Her voice was barely a whisper.

Kristoff pulled her closer, putting a hand on Elsa, too. He tried to stay silent, but couldn't. His frustration was returning. He put his hand under Anna's chin and forced her to look up at him; "what are we supposed to do without you? Huh? I watched you fall, Anna! I thought you were dead!"

Anna began to cry again. She nodded in understanding, then a wave of guilt rushed through her. She made Kristoff feel the same way Elsa had made her feel. She sat up, forcing Elsa to do the same. Then she turned to her boyfriend, and gave him a proper hug. He returned it, grateful.

Elsa was able to relax, although her own guilt was beginning to consume her. Had she been selfish? Did she really make Anna suffer? Again?

When they pulled out of the hug, they kissed one last time. "I'm sorry I left you behind," Anna said softly, keeping a gentle hand on his cheek. He could see the sadness in her eyes. This grief wasn't over yet—Elsa returning didn't end her suffering. "I was just so desperate to protect her."

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he said, words quick but voice soft. He gently ran his thumbs under her eyes to rid her cheeks of the tears. He offered the gentlest smile, and told her; "my love is not fragile."

Elsa gently put her hand on Anna's shoulder, getting the couple's attention. Anna sniffled again before she asked; "did you find what you were looking for?"

Elsa smiled warmly, but it had a tension to it. She took a deep breath and said, "yes. But it was right in front of me the entire time."

The redhead returned a similar smile and sighed. Was it relief? Or frustration? "And the fifth spirit?"

"Well..."

"Oh." It all made sense. "You are the fifth spirit. You're the bridge."

Elsa took Anna's hands, "yes, but the thing is... a bridge has two sides. And mother had two daughters."

Anna smiled for real this time.

"We did this together," Elsa reminded.

They remained in silence for a moment. Kristoff kept Anna close, partially in attempt to warm her up.

"Anna, I have to ask you a question."

The redhead tilted her head to the side; "yes?"

Elsa's voice was warm; "do you wanna build a snowman?"

"What?" She was dumbfounded.

But Elsa stood, and she and Kristoff helped Anna to her feet. Then, Elsa closed her eyes and made a wish. It took a few beats, but eventually the flurries met them, and began to form a familiar figure on the ground nearby. Anna grabbed at the strap of her satchel— she'd tried desperately to hold onto it as she crashed through the frigid water. Thankfully, none of its contents were lost.

As the snow took its shape, Anna hurried over and began to put the pieces back together. And soon, their frozen friend returned.

Anna didn't hesitate to hug him close. Kristoff and Elsa soon joined.

This. Exactly this. This is okay.

But even despite this joy—this relief. This miracle. Elsa and Anna were beginning to wonder the same thing that Kristoff just couldn't get past.

What now?

[quidfree]

Hi! Thinking of Dumbledore + Sirius, do you think Sirius would feel sympathy for Dumbledore if he knew about how torn he was btw his siblings + feeling trapped? I judged him harshly at first, but now I think about the difficulty about losing both parents + sibling, but not wanting to sacrifice everything to step in as parent + guilt that comes with that. I do think Dumbledore loved his siblings + I was happy when his bro said he did a good job with their sis before her death.

hi! this is an interesting one hm

the thing abt dumbledore is that i’m pretty sympathetic to him all things considered- i’ve never really taken the time to explain my feelings about him on here but i definitely don’t think he’s snape levels of “fandom should see he’s irredeemably terrible!”, though i have a lot of qualms about him. he’s certainly not the hero rowling thinks he is, but he’s also not the guy rita skeeter says he is, to put it succintly.

on the one hand, i do think canon mostly fails to acknowledge that he was very manipulative/calculating and made a lot of very cold (or just plain terrible) choices- everything to do with sirius, for one, as well as the whole dursley situation. i know there’s a couple of reasons harry had to live with them (supposedly...) and i can’t be bothered to go into them, but even then i never understood why he couldn’t have done to petunia what he does in OOTP (?) sooner- send a letter to scare the shit out of her and remind her to treat harry decently or at least leave him to his own devices. like, there was so much he could have done in the years between the potters’ deaths and hogwarts- that squib neighbour was already spying/reporting for him, so he was fully aware of it all, idk. i just find that whole thing exemplary of his callousness. it’s more unforgivable to me than raising harry knowing he might need to die for the cause- because that was necessary to defeat voldemort, but giving harry an escape from abuse was so avoidable. his handling of other characters also doesn’t paint him in the best light, sirius as most obvious suspect- there’s a good piece on tumblr about sirius being a liability in his eyes because he’s not loyal to dumbledore or his cause above all else, but to the potters (and ultimately harry) and his own code, and i really think it’s the best reading of dumbledore’s handling of sirius in OOTP, because i always found that kind of insane. it’s brain-dead obvious that the worst thing to do with sirius (especially if you were worried about his unhinged state and whatnot) would be sticking him in grimmauld place- even if they had to keep him hidden, they could have let him floo between order hideouts! see other people! prowl london as a dog! it’s insane that dumbledore of all people would be that dumb about it, so it makes the most sense to me as him locking sirius up where he’s the most contained.

on the other hand, dumbledore was both a quirky schoolmaster and a wartime militia leader, and i think a lot of the weirdness in his character is bc rowling set out to write a much more child-like series than she ended up writing. dumbledore is a pretty iconic guy in the books, manipulations included- he’s such a chessmaster, and he has flair, as kingsley would put it. most importantly he clearly tries very hard to orchestrate the best possible outcome for the entire world- not based on arbitrary beliefs or personal whims, but because he’s sort of the main bastion of hope in the wizarding world. i don’t necessarily think his actions in this context are all excusable, but he’s a war-time leader, and pretty much knows it’s all down to him- although the order is certainly competent, it’s a very ragtag group of people dumbledore holds together, and in terms of skill, knowledge and aura he’s their biggest asset. he’s already been through a wizarding war where he probably set out to murder the love of his life, another wizard supremacist wackjob! we know he’s long past egoism- he’s genuinely For The Greater Good, and he clearly cares about harry; his choices are undoubtedly not made lightly. it’s also important to note just how bad wizarding society as a whole is on these issues- even the most muggle-friendly wizards are remarkably ignorant about them (arthur weasley), and everyone else is at least marginally bigoted; bigotry is built into the fabric of their society, and their government is extemely complacent/corrupt, so the order and their ilk are very much on their own, while people like the malfoys are tolerated despite the open secret of their wartime alliances. dumbledore has a tough job, and he doesn’t know all the things the reader knows. so i think the op-eds calling him Just As Bad As Voldemort or whatever are missing any nuance.

then we get into dumbledore’s backstory. it explains a lot about him, i think. it’s interesting to me that he’s so consistent as a character- he has always been about The Greater Good, and he’s always had an ego, but as a child he let the latter dictate the former and as an adult he forever attempted to substract it from himself lest he repeat the same mistakes. some more questionable rep from ms rowling in having her (1) gay character be the guy literally seduced into wizard supremacy by his evil boyfriend, but i always liked that beat of a very isolated extremely intelligent character drawn into a warped sense of righteousness- it’s also very consistent of dumbledore to believe he’s doing the best for someone when he’s not really thinking about that at all, which is the case with his sister. obviously his family’s story is tragic, and then he gets pulled into this fake vision of a better world, validated in his brilliance, and then there’s his mother’s death, and then his sister, and suddenly it’s all come crashing down and he spends the next years of his life slowly realizing he’s the only one who can stop a project he might have been overseeing once. aberforth lays into him for it, and fair enough, but jesus, what a shitty spot to be in fresh out of hogwarts. i don’t know if it’s because i’m an older sibling, but i can understand the horrible burden of knowing that it’s always on you to think of yourself second, even when you’re inches away from the best thing in your life.

getting sidetracked- the question was about sirius and dumbledore. the thing abt LMV is that i try to keep my own opinions out of it; the marauders-dumbledore dynamic is a difficult one. they all respect him endlessly, and in school i think they adored him, but as a wartime leader it gets complicated. i think in canon their relationship was better, just a little strained (and a little more for others) bc of his style of leadership- you know, keeping secrets, playing games etc. in LMV, though, his machinations got them personally into some shit, so i wagered things would be more terse. james i think thinks most positively of him, as he is wont to do so, except where he is somehow at odds with sirius, because his loyalties there are clear and he is far more violently protective of sirius than he lets on. lily is a close second, because she’s a big picture thinker and gets how hard his job is, but she tends to be wary of his reasoning. remus is a more distrustful person by nature, and dumbledore using him for werewolf stuff wears him down. sirius is not a fan of authority, does not like secrets, and hates people using him as a pawn, so things are most strained for him, obviously. i think a lot of dumbledore introspection in LMV is from sirius’ POV, somewhat accidentally, so he gets a harsh rep.

to finally get to the specifics of your question: would dumbledore’s backstory get sirius to sympathise? arguably not much. sirius is a tricky guy, esp because i write him in a period that we know nothing about. he’s not a cocky slightly feral 15 year old, and he’s not a traumatised 30 something prison escapee; i try to get a plausible balance, so i don’t lend sirius in LMV so much of OOTP sirius’ world-weary wisdom. he’s 21, and in a war where the other side are wizard nazis he’s mostly related to somehow; he sees things in blacks and whites almost necessarily. so either you’re good or bad, trustworthy or not. peter crossed the threshold, so he’s dead to him; regulus turned himself in, but he’s one of them, so sirius doesn’t know what to do with him. sirius might understand how hard it is to have younger siblings you love fiercely who don’t understand your commitment to a higher goal, but dumbledore was on the wrong side of things that time, so i don’t think he would draw any sympathetic parallels- i don’t see why he of all people would feel bad for where dumbledore’s youthful aspirations of wizarding supremacy lead him, despite his good intentions. he’s not very forgiving of bigotry, i think especially because he’s cut all ties with his own background so harshly.

tldr; i feel for the guy, and his life was fucked, but sirius probably would not, and dumbledore got enough unwarranted hero worship considering his dodgy actions that i don’t resent sirius for holding that grudge.

[awfully-sadistic]

{{ Book talk: Friend Request

I finished Friend Request by Laura Marshall today.

I don’t quite remember when I bought it but it was sometime during the beginning of the month of December. Jeff and I went to Fry’s and scanned the book section looking for any more Kay Hooper books, especially her Bishop novels. Anyway, there wasn’t any though I did see Christine Feehan! A few of her books, I saw Dark Fire and one of the Leopard books? I know I went and told Dot about it when I got back.

Here is the summary for this book: 1989. When Louise first notices the new girl, Maria seems to be everything the girls Louise hangs out with aren’t. Authentic. Funny. Brash. Within just a few days, Maria and Louise are on their way to becoming fast friends. 2016. Louise receives a heart-stopping email. Maria Weston wants to be friends on Facebook. Long-buried memories quickly rise to the surface: cruel decisions made and dark secrets kept, the night that would change all their lives forever.

As she tries to piece together exactly what happened that night, Louise discovers there’s more to the story than she ever knew.

I’m going to dive into the book but I’ll keep my thoughts below a cut just in case anyone who stumbles upon this doesn’t want to read on spoilers and stuff. I’ma be spoiling things. That’s the point of these talks. I want to TALK ABOUT THE BOOKS I READ AND SHIT.

First off, I don’t care about Louise. She’s a freaking weak character. She has a group of friends she hung out with in high school. She wasn’t too much of a popular kid but her “best friend”, Sophie, was even though Sophie was the one that seemed to be on the fringes of that popularity herself. Claire and some other chick were the true popular girls and Sophie used to be close with Claire until they started to push her out because you know, Sophie became a third wheel... in a group of girl friends. As you can imagine, it was a cliche catty thing. I didn’t care for that aspect but I guess it showed how terrible girls can be to one another.

Another aspect I should mention is that this author is British and this book, you can tell, is British. I didn’t mind it and although some terms/slang went over my head, it wasn’t hard to tell what things meant through the context and it was very little I ran into this problem as an American reader. Further, what caught my attention about this book was the genre of suspense and mystery. Maybe a little horror. I thought it would be like the horror movies with social media and being online, in book form. The cover looked interesting.

The tagline says “Maria Weston wants to be friends. But Maria Weston’s dead. Isn’t she?” And that’s the sort of premise of the story. Louise gets this friend request from her after many years after high school on Facebook and it’s so strange, as someone who is constantly on the Internet but over the whole “Facebook” phase to hear people talk about it like it’s this... Idk, cool thing to use when in actuality, the people that seem to use Facebook are the older generation and it seems that this is where the author fits the mold. She does hit the nail on the nose where she describes Facebook as this community where people put all of their business on it, but only the storybook and fairy tale aspects what everyone is happy to put on display for their friends and mutual to brag to. I think nearly everyone can attest to their family members using Facebook for things like this. My family does it and I think Dot’s does, too. The author does a good job emulating this in her universe. 

So, Louise gets this friend request from Maria who had been killed back in 1989, during prom night. The mystery about this is whether Maria is alive or not. Louise is a divorced mother by now, having married and had a son with a guy she loved in high school, Sam. But Sam cheated on her and eventually had another kid with the woman he left Louise for. One of the things that bothered me about this aspect is that it is never quite explained what the text message said Louise kept bringing up that caused their marriage to splinter. Things like that aren’t explicitly said but seems to be a very important detail. I get that he cheated on her, she read something that she wasn’t supposed to... or however it was described, but the fact that she never writes that detail in makes it an itch I couldn’t scratch. It bothered me. I wanted to know. I never found out what that stupid text message said.

I do like Louise’s son and the relationship she had with him. Henry was an adorable little child and I adored the way she described some of the scenes between mother and son. It gave me better insight on how to write interaction with children, something I don’t quite run into despite wanting to write interactions for Dot and her children.

Going back to Louise, I found it hard to sympathize with her because like I said before, I didn’t like her. I found that she was weak and always had been since high school. She was making decisions that would have me all “Girl, WHY” and wishing she had done things differently instead of the route she had taken. She wasn’t UNBEARABLE like some female protagonists, but she was... stupid. But I get that she was also fearful. She had been carrying around this “secret” of hers since high school, feeling responsible for Maria’s death.

I felt sorry for Maria since I brought her up. She was a new transfer to Louise’s school and at once was ostracized. The summary made it sound like she and Louise were friends but I felt that hardly happened. What happened was that she and Louise hung out about two major times; one was when Louise had been ditched by Sophie (who went to hang out with one of the popular girls and wasn’t even a real friend to her but Louise wanted so bad to fit in with these girls) at lunch and Louise and Maria hung out. Louise, in a sense, used Maria whenever she couldn’t hang out with Sophie. 

Maria had these rumors surrounding her as soon as she moved to a new school In actuality, she had a stalker. This stalker put out horrid rumors about her that ruined her reputation at her previous school and somehow, this new school. Some kid that went to that school had a cousin that attended this new school and that was how these rumors seemed to persist with Maria. It’s quite sad. She was the type that stood up for herself even though she was being treated horribly. She mouthed off to Sophie for treating her like shit and she was kind to Esther, an old friend of Louise that she ditched in order to hang out with Sophie and the popular kids. Maria was a character that you could have liked, instead, we got weak ass Louise and her inability to stand up for herself. In all fronts. The only time she did something that was strong was 1) when her son went missing and 2) when she was being choked near the end of the book. BUT SHE FAILED ALL THE OTHER TIMES TO BE A STRONG CHARACTER. I guess it’s meant to display a whole, every-day jane or something, but like... c’mon. How many chances do you get to rightfully apologize to someone for being a little shithead in your youth? She’s had so many times to apologize to Esther with how she treated her, explain and come clean with so many things, but she kept thinking of herself. She kept saying she felt bad and sorry and regretted everything she had done and how she treated people but it wasn’t until her ass was cornered and she had no other path to take that she RIGHTFULLY apologized or explained herself to the people she should have in the beginning. I felt if you were really that remorseful, you would have done so earlier.

So I didn’t quite blame Esther for feeling distrustful of Louise as she did throughout their encounters. I just thought Louise was a weak protagonist and hard to relate to. Or perhaps I felt too much sympathy for the characters who were done wrongly and came to resent Louise. Sophie was too fucking ridiculous to outright hate; I knew she was a bitch and didn’t care too much for her. She was awful. But Louise was supposed to be the main character you were supposed to be sympathetic towards. I COULDN’T DO IT, lmao.

I suppose I should talk about what I liked about the book. I mean, I only read it on my spare time--which was anytime I wasn’t doing things on my computer which meant cooking and occasionally sitting down with it. I wasn’t in a hurry to read it until that last stretch where Louise went to her high school reunion. I guess that meant it was sort of like a slow build or that just may be because I had been reading slowly. I wasn’t bothered by it, though. I wasn’t taken out of the story, I was able to dive back into it every time I picked it back up. The author’s writing voice seemed good too considering it was her first published book. It wasn’t quite my favorite type of writing style (the book was written in first person, too) but it wasn’t bad. Not at all. Just different. And there wasn’t too many romantic points in it; the romantic aspects I guess I could count were when Louise would speak about her marriage to Sam. How much they loved each other (how much she loved him because she honestly gave him everything). Sam was... something else. I won’t delve too much into his story; I mean, for as involved in the book as he was, I just... didn’t get too much of an impression of him. I didn’t like Sophie more than him and that’s hilariously weird considering the outcome.

The italic chapters, portions where it was written in someone else’s POV, were confusing and I can’t think... why it would be part of the story. I mean, from what I can remember and gather about those small chapters was that... it was in the past. They were hints, I’m going to assume, but they just felt out of place and distracting to me. I didn’t care of those small chapters.

The hints of BDSM also threw me a little. But that was probably because it was mingled in with abuse. So it wasn’t quite real BDSM practices. Just that... Sam was a piece of shit and there was signs Louise couldn’t see and she mistakenly pegged it as BDSM.

I honestly... don’t know what else to talk about this book now that I’ve expressed the little things that were bothering me and how I overall felt about it. It was a pretty... okay read. Not GREAT but it wasn’t bad either. It wasn’t what I was expecting but I wasn’t quite disappointed with what I got. 

[copperclawed]

I'm almost done w the grisha trilogy and it's interesting bc I'm not rly liking it but at the same i feel like i see very well what the author is trying to do and i can get behind the concepts of her characters and character dynamics and arcs but it's the execution that falls through.

It's a v common opinion that this series kind of sucks but then the crows duology is rly good and i can definitely believe that once bardugo got some experience under her belt and maybe processed some constructive feedback, she was able to then write much better books and actually execute the narratives she envisions

Like w alina i rly dig the idea of a character who nobody ever noticed, who was always powerless and passive and followed someone else, bht then suddenly gets the spotlight and immense power and status, and what that can do to a person. But that transformation and journey and inner conflict is just not written well and so alina comes off as whining and passive. (I am enjoying the small bits of her learning to turn the bond w the darkling to her advantage but those have been so few and far between. Btw i got spoiled abt the ending and im hating it preemptively but we'll see.)

I've got similar thoughts on mal/malina but i wanna get to the end to see what I'll think. I def think mal/Alina is the most developed relationship and at times they actually managed to make me feel something (which is why i have hopes for the show). The idea of the conflict between them in siege & storm made sense but it was done so badly, it's honestly no wonder mal is such a hated character. It was just constantly them refusing to communicate to each other and then sulking. The 180 of mal showing up at the end of the 1st book being all, "im not afraid to die but i want to give us a fighting chance let's go hunt that stag" (which was awesome, who doesn't love a plot-driving character!) to the inexplicable and incessant distrust and resentment of alina's powers/amplifiers was just SO frustrating. I also rly despised his love confession. "I never noticed you but now I see you"? Idk to me that's opposite of romantic. I thought they were both secretly in love w each other but dumb and insecure but then it turns out he truly only saw her in that light once she got noticed by other people? :/

Same w the darkling/alina relationship. In theory it's got everything i would want out of a hero/villain relationshiphip in a story. I.e. him seeing the parts of her she hides from the rest of the world, the parts that both scare and entice her as well as that arc of alina going from being manipulated and played with, to turning the tables on the darkling and outplaying and outmanoeuvring him. Like as an idea i definitely dig it but on the page darkling is such a cardboard cutout villain there is just no depth there. Everytime he appears i just roll my eyes. "I've seen what you really are and I've never turned away; i never will" -- cool line; doesn't actually represent any real development in the story itself besides all the vague repetitive dialogue abt them being the two most powerful--sigh--grishas in the whole world and how there no one like them~~~

PLUS to add to that, alina never actually does anything to warrant all of her hand wringing that she'll turn into another darkling. Like at most she's rude to some people and then it sends her into a moral crisis it's ridiculous. The things that haunt her such as the people who die in the fold after she and mal flee--those were impossible circumstances where she was trying to survive and save her closest person. Her first and so far only kill was during a battle, protecting mal's life. I frankly don't see how that is on ANY level equal to any of the atrocities committed by the darkling. And sure part of this is alina buying into the darkling's manipulation of her--which idk yet to which degree this gets resolved--

--but i also think part of it falls back to 1) lack of skill 2) this prevalent trope of Ambition is evil. Like just because alina enjoys for once in her life being powerful and strong and independent and HEALTHY doesnt mean shes gonna turn evil??? Just bc she is seeking every advantage in the coming fight against an evil tyrant doesn't mean she's JUST like him??? I almost feel like it's also part cowardice on behalf of the author bc if you want to explore your protagonist's dark side then actually let her go down that path! (Maybe it happens in the last 100 pages idk.) Considering though what i know of the ending it does feel like bardugo buys into ambition is evil.

Also Not related but everytime there is mention of kvas in the books i want to fight leigh bardugo. There was some line abt mal drowning his sorrows in kvas and i just.... That's like writing somebody is drowning their sorrows in fanta. I almost got over the grisha thing but kvas i cannot let go it's just SO dumb