#idk. i guess this stuff just makes me think im doing something wrong. am i not supposed to try and make other happy if i seem like a trick?

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

i think i have this fear of being seen as a liar i think. like. everyone does it. and as a kid i stole stuff all the time and the way that was dealt with kinda just fucked with my head. do people see my kindness and my compassion as manipulation? am i read as someone trying to tear down the walls so i can get something while ur guard is down?. idk why someone thinking that of me makes me feel so miserable like. what if they were right? ive made mistakes before.. whos to say they arent right about this time? i dont want to stop being kind but it scares me to think about that.

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

[fefairys]

gotta wonder sometimes if new people are put off by my rambling lol because i am the bitch that leaves a small novel in discord dms when you are asleep

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[yoshistory]

my former therapist told me "everything you are and become and will be is something learned; you cant be something if you didn't learn it somewhere. nothing is inherent about anyone, except for something genetic" and honestly it is still messing with me on some level

[ganondoodle]

this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong

and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)

then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty

and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games

its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?

correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former

when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-

im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one

like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?

maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)

i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do

maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/

[definitelynotshouting]

context: ik most of my asks are pretty disorganized, stream of consciousness type of thing but GEEZ this got out of hand. you know that thing cats do when they bring you a dead mouse and *they're* super proud of it and you're just like dude.. why /lh

i usually put whatever my immediate thoughts are after reading the chapter and this time i thought it might be fun to write it out before. can you tell im running on five hours of sleep?? lmk if this made any coherent sense because even i dont understand it!!

so last chapter ripped my heartt out and stomped on it. i am LIVING for the way this whole thing was written, gorgeous prose as always <3. i was very curious as to wether Mumbo would question Grian but i think him NOT doing that was SO in character, and i adore it. I feel like w/ some fics (my own writing included) Scar is the ONLY one Grian relies on for support (in ANY area), and whenever Mumbo is even in the picture, he's just kinda "there", he doesn't check up on Grian or broach the topic of whatever is currently plaguing our little bird guy (basically, he's not involved in Grian's life despite being "his best friend"). And the way you characterized him was just So Real?? I would wager a guess (correct me if im wrong ofc) that part of it is that he just DOESNT know, (because Grian is oh so good at telling half truths and privately justifying his self sabotage) but a part of it is also him being lowkey willfully ignorant. he doesnt WANT Grian to be sick (mentally or otherwise) but definetly knows that SOMETHING is up. he really WANTS to help fix whatever is going on (evident by the gold farm) but he doesnt know what Grian needs or how to help him.

i have been OBSESSING over how Grian saying goodnight to Mumbo was ACTUALLY his goodbye to him but Mumbo DOESNT KNOW AND ITS EATING ME ALIVE. (also thought it was super interesting how Grian sort of took Mumbo leaving to sleep as "permission" to do the deed)

side ish note: how tf does Grian even plan to do that?? ik he's got the spider eyes and i *think* he's planning to turn the healing potions into weakness potions but like?? how is he going to do that??? i would assume that the gang would be watching the potions AS they were brewing, and even if they weren't, healing potions and weakness potions are.... vastly different colors. (unless im mixing them up with something else). also aren't they going to walk in on him prepping or already being in the middle of it and just save him like last time? the team as a whole has done a pretty good job on keeping an eye on Grian (from just a "this person can't walk" standpoint) so far. is he waiting for a chance when everyone is busy or does he plan to use MORE weakness potions to make it stronger or quicker?? im interested to see if he's even going to follow The Plan, because up until this point he's been pretty careful with trying to make plans and sneak around EXCEPT for the spider eyes basement adventure, which makes me wonder is he'll get more frantic/desperate as the appointed time draws closer.

Real talk though, Mumbo (and everyone else) is going to be beating himself up over not noticing when stuff goes down (which i would assume would be next chapter, but idk). Also, the fact that Grian asked him to stay means A LOT. To me (and idk if this is what you meant to convey) that signals that a part of him WANTS to stay. theres a part of him that wants to continue to experience the comfort and joy he gets from his friends, but he feels like he's only going to continue to hurt them, so to him this is the ONLY option to keep them safe. also the majority of his existence is just misery and pain so thats probably not helping. (PLUS the whole slew of mental health issues, this is not purely self sacrificial).

anyway, i LOVED this chapter as always, it was like chicken noodle soup for my overworked little soul and i savored every bit of it!! (also, no need to apologize for not having enough spoons!! i dont have any chronic illnesses but i know that shit sucks. this is a particularly long ask for me so dont feel compelled to answer everything in it, or answer right away. hope ur doing well <3)

-🐛

BUG ANONNNN THIS COMMENT IS SO SWEET AND I LOVED READING IT OMGGGG

you hit the nail exactly on the head for where im going with mumbo's characterization-- there is 100% a level of willful ignorance there. Ive always felt like mumbo is the kind of guy who has a thing about avoidance-- he feels very much like a character who will absolutely do his best to ignore things that hes decided arent his business (right up until he stops LMFAO) and part of that in hunger au is him being so anxious for grian to get better that he stops looking at the red flags grian is aggressively waving around. It'll work out!! He's sure of it!! Grian even directly said he's trying to get better!! And i think if he looked at that for longer than it takes for him to flinch away from the entire subject, he would see how much of a bald lie that is.

But he doesnt, because thats a LOT to deal with, and hes never really??? Seen this side of Grian before??? Not the way Pearl and Scar have. Theres a lot of intricacy there that i feel im skimming over but like Mumbo is very much keeping his own sanity in mind here too and thats another painful factor to the whole situation. Idk i have lots of thoughts about it and about the choice here to depict Mumbo giving in to that willful ignorance, and how its going to affect his and Grian's relationship in the future of the fic

(Quick tw for frank discussions of suicide below)

You've also completely nailed the subtext i was getting at with Grian asking Mumbo to stay-- smth ive always felt is a bit underrepresented in narratives like these are how at its most base core, suicide and suicidal ideation are often about needing something to fundamentally change in your life. It takes a LOT of both hopelessness and sheer willpower to actively try and overcome your body's instinctive will to survive. That instinct is baked into our very cells; when someone commits, it means their hopelessness for meaningful change to happen in their lives was so strong it overpowered everything else. And that is something deeply, deeply tragic, and also something i really wanted to respectfully highlight in this portrayal-- how bad things are when you spiral that far. Grian is starving to death. He wasnt lying about maybe having a week to live-- the intermittent feeding has kept him alive longer than anticipated, but its like trying to wall off an avalanche; theres only so much you can do in the face of all that :( and that hopelessness, in combination with how guilty he feels for what he did to his friends, has manifested in him feeling like his only recourse is to kill himself... but at the same time, that instinct to survive and KEEP SURVIVING is still blaring in his veins, and that manifests as him asking Mumbo to stay. Its a bit paradoxical, but its meant to really show how bad his mental state is, that he is willfully ignoring all the frantic signals his body is screaming at him to try and stay alive rn 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also, with the potions-- without revealing too much about how this is going to happen, Grian is planning on making fermented spider eyes and using them to turn the healing potions into harming potions, which he'll then drink in the in-between to make sure he dies immediately. Now.. i know how this is gonna go, and i know the exact mechanics around how this is gonna shake out, but smth to keep in mind is hes not thinking logically anymore, he has FULLY capitulated to his own storm of emotional wreckage. So yes there are DEFINITELY some questions to be asked about how hes gonna try and get this done, but in all honesty they mostly boil down to "sheer opportunity" which you'll see a bit more of in the next chapter >:] but yeah its meant to be a bit illogical skdbwkdjskd since he just isnt thinking coherently anymore at this point :(

Bug anon thank u for my entire life this comment was so sweet and so wonderful to receive, i really love it when my writing is analyzed like this and seen and understood!!! Its amazing its such a wonderful feeling to have your work be seen like this and its something i very much do not take for granted :]]]❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ tysm for the ask i am seriously treasuring it SO MUCH rn (and also thank you for the well-wishes!! Im doing my best to stay silly out here HEHE)❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[babiebom]

Would I give them head?

A/N: I am so sorry for this I'm writing it at 3 am and I couldn't get it out of my head. I've been giggling for the past 10 minutes like a 7th grader. Also if you are reading this let me know if I should do something special for 50 followers. I know it's not a lot but I am so grateful! If yes let me know what I should do!

Tw: sexual content. Not explicit but it like look at the title. Cursing.

Genre: headcanons nsfw

Wc: idk it depends on which person. Probably 2+ for each.

This is including almost every male stardew character(obviously no kids) plus ridgeside plus expanded but not all because I cannot remember every single character and I don't wanna research rn.

Masterlist

Sebastian

Duh no doubt about it

He is the love of my life (well one of them)

I would give him the best head wymmmmm

Sam

Yes boy deserves it

Golden retriever coded guys deserve good head idc

Shane

Love sad men it's a yes

Kinda wanna make him cry because it's so good.

Maybe I can cure him

Elliott

No

Sorry it's not that I dislike him he's just not my favorite?

Maybe once as a treat but no other time than that

Harvey

Yeah he's the doctor for a small town

I gotta

Maybe he will stop billing me everytime I die

Alex

No

I am not attracted to this man he is more bestie coded to me

If he asked i would allow him a handjob I guess

Gus

Nope

Maybe he gets a Lil handjob as a treat because his food is good

Gunther

Maybe?

He kinda-

But not enough idk....

George

The reason I am writing this r n

The answer is no but the thought of doing it made me cackle

Lewis

Absolutely not

Fuck you old man

Pierre

NO

I hate this lying ass bitch I give you a kick

Willy

No sorry

He prolly smells like fish and salt and I am not fond

Love him tho stinky man

Kent

YES

would give him the sloppiest toppy known to man

He deserves it he needs it i want it pls bless me

I could beat Jodi's ass if it comes to it idc

Victor

Yes

I find him quite cute overlooking his slight classism.

Also for standing up to his mom for himself love that him

Demetrius

No

I'd rather give Robin head

He deserves no head for being crappy stepdad

Marlon

No

As much as I like him he probably does not shower

Also he is for the marnie's only

Clint

No

I wanna punch him so bad

Mr Qi

Maybe?

I don't find him attractive

But at the same time I find him mysterious and the might just be enough to convince me

Grandpa

HA

HAAAAAAA

no what is wrong with you

Andy

No

Prolly tastes like battery acid

He also gives off racist vibes

Wizard

Yeah

He's chill he can get some head

Morris

Maybe for a discount

Im equating Joja to Coke and I like coke

So only if he promises to give me a discount on stuff I want

Phillip

YES

Another love of my life

It was unexpected for me to love him but he is so cute to me

June

Yuperoni pepperoni

We love a man who is talented

Could easily convince me to give him head if he plays the piano for me ngl

Jeric

Maybe

I love but also hate him

He also gives off bestie vibes

Shiro

Yeah

I feel like he needs it:(

Ezekiel

No

I do however wanna smack his bald head

Not in a mean hateful kid of way I just wanna smack it

Lorenzo

Dilf Ngl

Maybe its because of his name idk

Answer is yes

Kimpoi

It was here where I started looking up characters bc i felt bad for leaving them out

No thank you I will not

Lance

Don't know much about him but I think hes cute so yes

His hair is cool

Isaac

Again don't know much about him hopefully he is not a child

But yeah he's cute so he gets a Lil head from me

Ian

If he takes a shower yes

Otherwise no

Kenneth

Yeah

I like his hair and I think he's cool for being an electrician

I know nothing else about him

Sean

Yeah he's cute so he can have some head

Im so sorry for not knowing im too busy simping over Seb and Phillip ngl

Anton

Uhhhhhh

Uhhhhhhhhhmaybe?

Im not attracted but unattracted to him so sure

Bryle

No

He reminds me of family

Like his face

Jio

Yea

As I have said before I love a mysterious man

Love a man with a sword

Zayne

I have no idea what this is

But I guess??

Have no reason to hate him so sure

Bert

No

He looks stinky :((

I also feel like his wife would beat my ass

Freddie

No

He is for the Lola's only

I also feel like he wouldn't be able to feel it

Mr Aguar

No

I do not enjoy his face

Pika

Simply because im assuming his food is good

I'll say sure simply for free food

Richard

No

So sorry

But no

Sonny

I will give him a platonic handjob

He deserves it bc he's a butler and probably does not get a day off with this family

[mommyghostface28]

Hey I need a little bit of advice. My bdsm partner is so possessive to the point it makes me feel controlled and like I did something wrong if I have friends I talk to outside of the time I spend with her. I get she's trying to control me but idk how to make it stop. My only knowledge of how to make it stop is to just disappear off of the social media sites she could contact me on and disappear from her life so she can't manipulate me. She wants me all to herself in an abusive way and it scares me....

I feel like it's my fault for the way she treats me...she probably misunderstood what I meant by telling her I find it lowkey sexy when a partner loves you so much they get a little possessive during sex....i certainly only meant in the way a domme says "youre all mine baby" during sex for dirtytalk or marking with hickeys etc and stated that clearly but she just isn't that way, she's the abusive manipulative type and I've attracted her and I wish I could leave this dom/sub dynamic....not her forcing me to isolate myself from the world and shaming me for talking to my friends....she gets sad and annoyed when I do and I just wanna keep crying thinking about this to type it....

She lovebombs me all the time after she hurts or upsets me...and she makes me go rougher during sex than I have told her Im able to handle. To the point it hurts but she continues and tells me im not done till she says so...and not in a sexy way but in a sexual assault (I've already called a safeword but she carries on)

I'm so sorry for venting here but as someoen who knows about domme/sub dymamics, please help....Idk what to do anymore...ibfeel trapped by them. And all she ever does is force me to show mer my naked body on camera despite me feeling uncomfy. And I was in pain today physically and felt sick, but she wasn't taking no for an answer when doing sexual stuff ... we've been together a month and I hate to think what my future will be like if I feel trapped already...

I am too scared to come forward by dms, and I realise we need to talk it through properly for advice, but I'd there any chance you can just reply publicly but inna way that keeps me anonymous? It's just I know she has my tumblr and I don't want her seeing my dms or getting suspicious of me as that'll make her angry and guilt trip me for reaching out.

All I need I guess is a public but anon reply for advice....thank you mommy...I've been one of your anons for a while but now that she has my tumblr, my dms aren't a safe space for me to ask for your support...

I feel so vulnerable rn mentally and keep feeling the need to slip into my littlespace but I don't feel at all safe around her... 😭

Love..oh my gosh :( this doesn’t sound healthy at all..this is coming from a Domme who’s possessive but definitely not like that. They sound toxic, the emotional abuse here is very apparent and I hate that they’re using bdsm as a way to execute it. A D/s dynamic does not give anyone the right to control someone like that. Isolating you from your friends, not taking no for an answer, all of it is concerning. My advice is to end things, as soon as possible. I don’t see any improvement here, they’re not a good person to engage with. I don’t feel there’s a conversation you could have with her that would change things. I’m sorry you’re going through this..they’re definitely not a good Dom(me).

If you can break things off safely, please do so. Then block them. Make it as clear as you can you want no contact whatsoever. I’m wishing you the best darling..keep my posted ❤️ be safe

[your-queer-dad]

hey dad im not sure if im doing this right, sorry if not but i guess, i just. feel. wrong? or like i'm lying? but i dont know what i would be lying about? i got overwhelmed today and had to sit in the sensory friendly area and i just. felt like i shouldnt have been there i guess? i am diagnosed autistic but i guess my mom's been making that feel pretty invalid, she gets mad every time i do something weird and she was really annoyed today. I wish i could tell her that im not doing it on purpose but then what if i am and i don't realize it? and its the same with gender and stuff i guess, what if im just acting? and i dont know it? and ive just done enough acting that i tricked myself? i just dont know what to do or what parts of me are real or what i made up you obviously dont have to answer this idk but thanks if you read it -a chaotic depressed being

Hey kiddo! As a fellow autistic person, I completely understand how that feels. Sometimes our brains like to invalidate us, especially when you've grown up in a invalidating environment with your parents. My best advice is that people who aren't that thing don't worry that they're not that thing. It's completely normal to think "hm what if I'm not __" but if it makes you feel anxious and nervous that you might not be, you probably are that thing.

- dad x

[calhanx]

Please let me make a fansession with these dumbasses. Do you have Dream moons or even classpects?

nothing official yet since im still in the process of adding more socials to the mix but for now my very rough draft is

tumblr — prospit (page of life)

4chan — prospit (prince of hope)

twitter — derse (thief of heart)

tiktok — derse (bard of time)

reddit — prospit (seer of rage)

instagram — prospit (maid of space)

deviantart — derse (heir of void)

youtube — derse (knight of light)

as for my reasoning, pages tend to suffer from their aspect being taken from them or suffering from other people's manifestation of the PAGE's aspect. tavros's agency was always taken away by vriska. jake was everyones crush in the alpha kids group (one of hopes domain is sexuality and crushes. so its like they had hopes for jake) and it ended horribly. and horuss was often told off by meulin to keep a facade of smiles and politeness (voiding him even FURTHER). or whatever i dont remember much.

and yknow tumblr is like. why the hell does everyone think this site is dead? its cause twitter got most of the userbase when the porn ban happened. then BAM suddenly folks wanna get a piece of tumblr cause theyre all suffering under annoying billionaires (luxury is a domain of life, but can also be a source for doom).

as for 4chan. well ok im not familiar with 4chan but their vibes pretty similar to eridan so lets go with that.

twitter is a thief of heart because they always steal content from other sites (technically most sites do this) and its got a culture of being mean all the damn time even to earnest (heart) things. and i guess because of the short shelf life of tweets and trends, its impossible for most of its userbase to really make an identity? excpet for the influencers on there lol idk. so theres this lack of their aspect, which is a thing thieves go through and is something that causes them to always seek said aspect. still tentative!

tiktok is a bard of time because they invite destruction to time. they waste your time. they waste other peoples time. thats literally how its built. even its trends and culture make ME (personal opinion) go "why am i being subjected to this i dont care stop wasting my time". they dont last long either or at least dont stay relevant (to ME)

reddit. idk thats the place where smarty know it alls go. and yknow the challenge for seers is that they have to learn how to be wrong and EFFECTIVELY communicate with their teammates (kankri failed on both accounts. kept shitting on porrim. pre retcon rose failed on the latter because yknow alcoholism. retcon rose eeeeeh didnt really have a choice in improving herself on her own cause vriska did it for her but hey if it works it works i guess). if you make reddit into a person, seer feels like an appropriate class. also i picked rage for them because rage = truth. also lots of trolls on there, both in provoking rage through silly funnies, real life stories, real life but Insane stories, or legit fucked up stuff.

instagram is the maid of space because idk its vibes make me think porrim would like it. tentative idk much about it. all i know is that its very prospit-y because it requires the user to have a looot of grit to maintain their acc because of their shitty "post regularly" algorithm. at least from what i remember.

deviantart is heir of void because they are like equius. i think you get it. horses. sweat.

youtube is a knight of light because its culture revolves around its content creators! and yknow ccs gotta put up a front to entertain ya. its light because of its content! they literally need and breathe your attention. sometimes has educational stuff (knowledge) sometimes is just shitposts (attention) sometimes its really cool impressive stuff like speedrunning and gaming (victory/luck) sometimes its just funny challenges (success over goals). so putting all this together and makin a person out of it its like oh! theyre going to be sooooooo dysfunctional

anyway lots of this is still not finalized but feel free to do what ya want! socialstuck is free to share and im always glad to find folks makin stuff about it :]

[seeingivy]

hiiii Ronnie!!

it’s your girl, Taylor as Gojo Anon, reaching out to check in on you.

How are you doing? 🤍🖤

hi sweet angel face!

(im cut tagging it because i accidentally procured a long response)

how are you my dear? things have been kind of up and down from me, which is why i haven't been so active. that makes me feel really sad, not because i necessarily feel obligated to write, but because i just want to!!! idk mental things and blocks have been all over the place. and i have so much fun thinking about ideas and such but sometimes i get in my head about writing about them or other stuff comes up.

my best friend's mom passed away two weeks ago, which kind of has turned things upside down. we were really close - her mom and mine are best friends, we all went on a cruise to mexico together (? idk its kind of like a fever dream but it makes me laugh now) and she was just someone i felt really really close to. i am so sad she's gone and i loved her so much.

school has started up and this actually happened during my first week of school so it kind of changed the tone. i'm a senior now but weirdly enough things feel so different. one of my best friends actually graduated and school feels different without her and i guess there's been internal stuff happening where my job and my research lab and everything just feels like it's drastically changed dynamic wise and it makes me wish it was still last year and i wasn't so old and i wasn't leaving.

i have so many ideas but don't know which ones to write! and i think about them so hard that i can't do them justice as one shots but i just don't know if anyone would read it if it was longer or if idk i would drop it after i felt like it wasn't good or anything. i hope to write something soon just for my own joy. (see: list of ideas below that I could write like 200k words of if I wanted to)

good old satoru gojo and y/n getting strapped with kids after an untimely passing. BUT they used to date. oh the sweet angst of living together but being responsible for two kids but getting close but one of you has a partner that kind of sucks and it kind of feels like you're a family but you can't really admit that you want to get back together bc. u know. family and all that and a lot at stake and obv angst of almost dying bc it's me and I would have to do that just for fun

satoru gojo (again? shocking I barely ever think or write for this man) but its like kind of like a royalty clan au? like arranged marriage but she literally don't gaf about gojo and sneaks around with a secret lover (that he knows about. and knows that is a snake) and then when things go wrong he's kind of like well I told you so but then they get close and kind of besties and she tells a maid or something that like omfg he doesn't even care about me like that he just feels bad and he overhears SO he has to obviously romance her. obviusly he has to like go to war or a fight or something where he almost dies becuase you know angst of almost dying its me and I would have to do that

I still think about dream girl everyday.

I also think about canary mate all the time too. I almost actually wrote some today but had to write a ghostwrite a deferral letter for my friend to delay her acceptance since her mom passed away

also bsfs older brother sukuna one shot of y/n getting sick or somethign or appendicitis bc u know bsfs older brother sukuna having a panic but in a sweet way

anyways I swear I think about writing and will write again sometime soon.

the good thing is that i'm applying to study abroad and that makes me really excited! it's one week in london and one in paris and they do the whole harry potter studio tour and where bridgerton was filmed and it makes me so excited to think about it.

anyways. thanks for asking. its sweet to know you still think of me even when i'm not active! i would send you asks all the time but you are an anon. but if u ever sneeze or something idk juts think its me sending u an ask like omg hi I love you.

[etherealspacejelly]

Hey dad,

Are you out to your parents? I can never come out to mine, which creates a lot of questioning for my future.

If you are, how did you do it (I’m presuming you have parents)?

Thanks from a closeted new follower of your brilliant posts :)

I am out to my parents! I came out about 5 years ago now, it was my anniversary recently actually!

i came out to my dad first. i was going to his house for a different reason, but i decided to do it then because. idk. i just felt ready i guess. i sat down with him and he could tell something was up, so he asked me if there was anything i wanted to talk about and i said yes. and i told him i was nonbinary and aroace, and that i wanted to use they/them pronouns and go by a shortened version of my birth name (this was before i had decided on robin and he/they). he asked me what those things meant, with genuine curiosity because he hadnt heard of them before, so i explained it to him and he said ok! thats fine. and he said he loved me and supported me no matter what, and that it would be a bit hypocritical for him not to since he is queer himself (which i was not aware of at the time! he just assumed i knew??? hes pansexual lmao)

he did a bunch of research in his own time, watching videos by nonbinary youtubers and stuff like that. he learned how important it is for parents to facilitate social transition, so he took me to get my first gender affirming haircut a few weeks later. he also bought me my first binder, and took me shopping in the mens section for the first time. he also took me to my first pride that year! he has remained super supportive, calling me his son at work, greeting me with "hey my boy!" every time he sees me or calls me on the phone, has barely ever slipped up on my pronouns. basically, my dads a fucking legend lmao

i think a few weeks to a couple months after i told my dad, i came out to my mum. that went. not great. she was like. ok. and immediately went back to her phone. my heart just sank. she still gets my pronouns wrong 5 years later, she says often that i will always be her daughter. she even said that trans people are just mentally ill. she loves jkr and often uses terf talking points. but, she Says she supports me and isnt transphobic, and she Tries to use my pronouns so. yk. that makes everything ok /s

she also thinks that ill change my mind about being aroace when i find 'the right person'. i never told her about the queer platonic relationship i was in because i knew she would just use that against me. i had an entire year long relationship, and to this day she has no idea.

the thing is, my mum had always been a self professed supporter of the lgbtq. when i was a kid it was always "when you grow up and get a boyfriend or girlfriend" or "when you get married to your husband or wife", so i thought it would be a slam dunk. i thought, theres no way she wont accept me. but here we are. meanwhile, i had been quite nervous about telling my dad! i didnt know how he was going to react.

so, you never really know how these things will go. this isnt me telling you to come out, by the way! if you feel unsafe or unready then please dont. do whats right for you first and foremost. but, sometimes people will surprise you i guess, and not always for the better.

you will find your people. family is about unconditional love and acceptance, and if your parents arent providing that for you then they're not doing their damn jobs properly.

im always here if you need a dad, it would be my honour.

I love you, and I'm proud of you, kiddo :)

[clockworkcheetah]

*shaking your shoulders* hiiiii tell me everything about your thought process behind writing your incredible bangfic the bad dog nerves, inspiration characters writing EVERYTHING it's so good tell us more

hiii getting to talk about my creations!!! ahhh

ok so cause its been a couple of months and my memory is nothingness aka im a little hazy on some stuff. buuuuuut i distinctly remember several things that heavily inspired TBDN im just gonna run my thoughts as they come so i apologise if its incoherent. i am also putting this under a readmore for the sake of everyone. and because spoilers for the fic

first inspo was deathmark2 cause it got its english translation earlier this year (i love deathmark but ill say everytime i talk of it its very difficult to recommend cause it needs so many content warnings). im very much the kinda person who can and will mash fandoms together- ill make those parallels. god cant stop me. basically dm is what got the ball rolling for me- spirits and possession and influenced moods. its only inspired pretty loosely by dm- very much the general concept/brainrot for both fandoms kinda deal. also more horror elements in dghda yes pls

another thing that inspired it was the doctor who ep 'midnight'. that ep was chilling- i think about how you can tell ten is fully awake and aware during his possession and it stuck with me- a+ acting from david. its a fear of mine being fully awake/aware whilst having no control of your body/immobilised and you cant do anything but wait for the inevitable. granted todd leaned more towards anger, or like the five stages of grief, than fear. but that felt more him also cause it went on longer than a few hours (or rather he expresses his fear through anger/lashing out) but i wanted that ugly rawness of it- hes nervous like a bad dog ay ayyyyyyy

(i sorta wish i went harder with it at the end with his scene with dirk, but alas he was burnt out and healing)

also tbh i just love scenes like that in media too. the character is right there! its so close and nobody is helping them so they gotta save their own ass and be a bitch about it

also i just kinda wanted more fics where dirk just fucks up?? like theres no hoops being jumped through to make what he said right (im not exactly a fan of this fanon!dirk where hes this saint who does no wrong/is always right/everyone else is to blame) so that was a goal in mind when writing this- dirk mostly, but also amanda to an extent of being wrong (not like in some horrible malicious way just. you made a bad call. u gotta live with it). also why todd was quicker to forgive farah (or at least be on better terms with her than the others- i really wish i included a convo between them aw well) granted these arent really specific to this fic- i like to have it in other fics, i need those two to fuck up. as well as todd getting to be angry/upset without this notion that he cant cause he did bad things therefore can only be bad, undeserving person forever cause thats how it works obviously (look if i wanted content of todd fucking up id watch the show lemme have something else with fics- ok ill stop being salty now asdfghjkl;)

i also really wanted the aftermath of what happened to be explored (i love the concept of possession/mindcontrol but shows kinda brush it off after the character is freed. like??? youre telling theyre all sunshine and fine now??? no way, theres gonna be a recovery period. aka todds body being weak from literally having zero nutrients, miru not taking care of the body, also learning to have control of his own body again

with the characters or i guess specifically project miru, she wasnt inspired by anything specific. i really like tragic but unsympathetic characters in media so wanted to have a try at it, and to explore the whole riggins' favouritism towards dirk and how the other projects may have felt. idk how well i pulled it off but i had fun writing her interactions with todd even if it was mostly them being dicks to eachother and being a dick to everyone

ok my brain is starting to run on empty so ill close up this haha.

im sure this is universal but when i got the idea of this fic i had the immediate The Scenes™️ for it. they were: amandas confrontation and realising that oh shit it isnt todd the whole time that scene was vivid in my head (also fave scene to write!!) and the other is the final scene with dirk and todd and todd breaking down. todds kinda the 'strong' one of the two (to dirk) and the caretaker- so someone takes care of him and lets him be upset with everyone

but yeah!!! some of my thoughts behind the creation of TBDN 💖🥰🧡 theres stuff i wish i included in the fic and ideas i had after i had already posted but im happy with it regardless. at its core i just wanted some sweet sweet todd whump i wanna traumatise that little man

[ihatedean]

ik i share tiktok screenshots and whatever but like if 90% of your presence in fandom is just laughing at and criticizing people earnestly enjoying something literally what even is the point of you being in that fandom. when are you having some healthy fun and not making both yours and everyone else's experience miserable. especially Yours!! i used to scroll on anti twitter accounts to point and laugh at How Dumb they were and how They Don't Get It and that's time i could have spent doing something productive. like enjoying my friends' art and sharing some love to them or creating something. or literally just focusing on work and studying lmao

it just sucks. especially in places like these where we're already being treated like shit and blocked by everyone. why are you trying to alienate people even more just because they don't have time to read 20k words on why their interpretations of a ship or the media itself are Wrong and yours are Right— which, by the way, why would anyone want that ever. some people headcanon stuff and make their AUs and they might not make sense to how you view canon, but if they put the effort to write it or make fanart or collages or edits it clearly means something to them and they wanna share it and it costs nothing to let people play with their dolls, even if you're screaming on the inside at how ridiculous you think their point of view is. don't treat them like they're less than you because you're both here Caring.

idk i get it and ive done it A LOT to side-eye someone who has me blocked and says something i don't agree with or literally insults what i like and i share screenshots of tiktok comments that make me roll my eyes, but why hate on someone on this same space who literally WILL see it just because they differ from you in the tags. am i insane for thinking this? do i just not get this fandom and should be throwing tomatoes at my friends for seeing the show differently? like seriously, is that where the fun is?

i guess im used to smaller fandoms where everyone knows each other, and that does build a different vibe compared to here. you don't really mind that they have different perspectives because at least you agree in Something, whether it was shipping the same characters or viewing the show in a different way than the rest of the fandom. like you really hold on to that and eventually get over their weird headcanons. but maybe those differences matter here a lot more, and again, i might just not built for this lmao

im talking mostly about ship stuff but my god sometimes people here love to feel smarter for turning the same dialogue or subject in their heads over and over so that they open their Third Eye or something. of course people might not agree with you they literally watched the show once why would they care about the Subtext and the Layers.

(and i don't mean people who just analyze the show and have their own fun by doing that i mean the "you're stupid for not getting This" people)

[romainlettusdinnerparty]

I get so happy when more people see the car guy mike vision! I saw you said you love cars, so I'm curious do you have any thoughts about what you think mike being a car guy means for him/what he likes?

I know for me I love the headcanon but it came naturally from that leadership aspect of him, and I think it suits him to be a main driver amongst the party. plus I think he'd like the responsibility. and I go a bit more into this in a fic I'm working on, but I also like to think he enjoys fixing up his car and finds it a nice challenge/puzzle for his brain! but the actual technical or detailed parts of the headcanon I haven't researched and explored yet because I'm not well versed on cars myself 🙈

hiii omg thank you so much for asking me about this i am about to bombard you with so many thoughts brace yourself

ok im gonna be so fr when i say i love cars i mostly just mean i love driving,, i am not super well versed in the actual technical aspects of cars myself either😭 buttt i do absolutely have thoughts about mike and driving and super agree with what you said especially about leadership and responsibility. i think mike Needs to be the one everyone turns to drive them places like he wants that to be his Thing (also him needing to be needed popping up there👀),, now max has also obv expressed interest in that but with her ending up disabled she might be less able to do that especially with the accommodations available at the time and even if she could drive it would be a longer process so i like to imagine mike kinda teaches her the ways of the road and they bond, and similar to how he doesn’t walk on eggshells with will he treats max so normal (hostile lmao) which is probably super refreshing for her with being disabled!! orrr that dynamic could even be reversed like if max is unable to drive but she so Wants to be that for the party, she kinda teaches mike that as a way to live vicariously through him? idk i just love max’s thing with cars and mike is such a car guy its insane. I think its also safe to say he’s very precious about his car like not a single crumb of food will get on his seats if he has anything to say about it. this obviously does not apply to will who can do absolutely no wrong but,, because will can see how much mike cares about his car he helps enforce his little rules with the rest of the party when they don’t take them seriously and mike gets lowkey upset with them about it. i love the idea that mike is the first to get his license so he’s kinda designated driver by default for a little while and ends up spending a ton of one on one time with everyone because of that. one of those people obviously being will, and i think between joyce working so much and jonathan going off to college and them definitely not being able to afford another car (and like love too),, will ends up abusing that aspect the most even before they get together. and while will is doing this cuz he’s like in love and stuff and it makes mike feel all useful, mike does get insecure that will isn’t actually spending time with him cuz he wants to and its just to use him to get around, and then when other people start getting their licenses hes like oh i guess the end of an era will doesn’t Have to just drive with me anymore he won’t need me :( but then obviously he Does and they kiss about it or something

and on the note of the fixing cars and stuff i sooo agree he likes learning new things and being able to fix his car and fix everyone else’s cars. like even after he’s the only one with a license he’s found this other thing to be useful to everyone with. omg also there was this post i saw forever ago about mike fixing up his car while will sits on the hood with his legs crossed drinking a milkshake and the image has fr never left my mind its quintessential passenger princess will and car guy mike to meee. i feel like mike would know so much about cars that it would make him distinctly not cool like he is such a nerd about something that would be considered cool that it circles back around and makes him sooo lame. i do think will would not think its lame tho and it does in fact turn him on when mike talks about his car. maybe mike refers to his car as a “she” and has a name for it and everything and will gets lowkey jealous and has to have car sex with him about it idk 😭

anywho!! thank you sm for asking me about this even though i probably know the exact same amount as you do about cars lmao,, actually so fucking hyped for your fic tho ahhh i love your writing <333