#if anyone knows any good romance novel let me know because these are awful and my brain is probably rotting //WHEEZE

[daintydoilypon]

What's something you know is cringe that you love? Be it tropes, fashion, lifestyle, etc.

Or

What's something you think is cringe but love anyway?

Okay. Hear me out.

Any werewolf romance novels. They are bottom of the barrel, self-insert, mary sue, main character syndrome trash. Most are like "My aLpHA MaTE ReJectED ME, But I'm A sUPER POwerFUL WITCH WOLF HYBRID and the WOLF PRINCE IS MY SECOND CHANCE MATE" kinda thing. I really enjoy reading them because they're so stupidly cringe. It makes me want to write good stories, like a what not to do kinda thing and it makes me laugh so hard I cry, love it.

I read one recently where this girl didn't go into wolf form, rides a motorcycle, she cut a rouge werewolf in half with a katana, but she was 5ft and "not as attractive as her ex-mate's blonde mean bimbo stereotype gf", so very obviously a self-insert, and her mate was like the definition of an alpha male guy and I cackled for quite some time. There was another one where the girl was an omega slave or something and all 3 alpha triplets were her mates and she was fine with it, even though they were HELLA ABUSIVE FOR YEARS prior to the mate bond and it was ckjdblefah, it's so bad. I really recommend it just for the sheer hilarious cringe. It makes me feel better about my writing //WHEEZE

[orions-athenaeumficlibrary]

When You're Smiling- Prologue

Pairing: College!Bucky Barnes x F!reader

Synopsis: Throughout your life you have been labeled "boring" because of your quiet, thoughtful nature. For example, you weren't a fan of parties, frats or really anything that required you to be around big groups of people. But after being dragged to a party, you meet someone who seems determined to prove that you have an adventurous side as well.

Chapter Warnings: panic attack, anxiety, drinking, sexual harassment

Word Count: 1.5k

Prologue

“Please Y/n. You don’t even have to stay for that long.” Sitting on the floor of your apartment, you continued to track your eyes over the pages of your textbook. You weren’t really retaining any information, you hadn’t been since your roommate Wanda barged in five minutes ago and began pestering you to go to a frat party with her. 

“Seriously, a night out would be good for you. You don’t even have to talk to anyone, but at least leave this apartment. Honestly, it’s getting kinda sad that you just sit here with your books every night-” 

“OK.” You cut off her somewhat offensive rambling by roughly slamming your psychology textbook shut. “If you are so concerned about my social life I will, for forty five minutes, go to this party.” Wanda squealed and threw her arms around you. 

“Thank you, I promise once you get there you’ll have so much fun!” Your face remained neutral but inside your stomach was beginning to twist itself into a tight knot. There was a reason you didn’t really like parties, of course you wouldn’t judge your friends for going to as many as they could, they just weren't your scene. “-oh, I’m gonna call Nat, she can bring over some tops for you to try, let me grab my phone, I’ll be right back.” You didn’t realize you had zoned out long enough for Wanda to bring your other friend Natasha into the equation. When Wanda left the room you tried to distract yourself from spiraling by watching the rain dance against the window. This is “cozy romance novel reading” weather, not “get wasted with a bunch of randos” weather, you thought to yourself, but then instantly shook your head and brushed your glasses up to rub your eyes. Maybe you were in desperate need of a party. Or not. Because frat parties were the worst. The last one you were at was three years ago during your freshman year: you went in excited to try something new, and ended the night drenched in someone else’s beer, with tears running down your cheeks and mascara staining your face. You didn’t know who spilled beer on you, but the tears and mascara combination was courtesy of having to watch the guy you liked make out with not one, but three girls that night. To top it all off, one of your heels had snapped, forcing you to walk home in 30 degree weather with no shoes. So you weren’t a fan of frat parties, and maybe you shouldn’t base your judgements on one awful experience, but you had never been party type before and that night seemed like a sign from the universe confirming, “you and parties do NOT mix.” 

Wanda’s hurried footsteps interrupted the mental storm that had been picking up speed over the time she was absent. 

“Ok, Nat is on her way, and she’s bringing options for shirts, and I have this new pair of heels that would look so-” 

“No. No heels, sorry Wan.” You said somewhat sheepishly. You hadn’t known Wanda yet when you went through the frat debacle a couple years ago and for some reason you had elected to withhold that story from your two closest friends. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t brought it up, maybe you figured they would stop trying to force you to party every weekend, or maybe they would insist you give it another try. The latter is what you were afraid of, and knowing Nat and Wanda, the former was not likely to happen. 

Wanda gave you a curious look, but if she thought something was off she didn’t say anything. Instead, she ran to the door as a buzz sounded on the intercom. 

_________________________________________

An hour later, you were dressed in a long sleeved open back top, baggy jeans, and a pair of well loved (extremely dirty) shoes. Wanda and Nat practically dragged you out of your apartment and down the street, laughing and talking animatedly all while you stayed quiet and counted the yellow taxis that rushed past you.

When the three of you finally made it to the party, an inky darkness had settled over the city. The grass beneath your feet was still damp from that afternoon’s rain and you couldn’t help but frown at how humid it had become, dreading how suffocating it was going to be inside the house. 

“Do you wanna grab something to drink?” Nat yelled over the bass as you tried to squeeze through the crowded entryway. You were immediately overwhelmed, strobe lights were flashing against the walls, music was shaking the floor and hot, sweaty bodies kept bumping up against you. You closed your eyes in an attempt to somehow center yourself. After a few seconds of futilely waiting for a moment of peace, you let your eyelids flutter open and to your annoyance, Nat and Wanda were no longer standing beside you. You knew it wasn’t their fault, and that they would never intentionally leave you alone, but you couldn’t stop the panic that began rising in your chest from the absence of your two friends. Not knowing what else to do, you shouldered your way through the mass of drunk college students, searching for a quiet place to stand and look for Nat and Wanda. You had scouted out a small, unoccupied alcove under the stairs and made your way to it. Two steps and you would have gotten some reprieve from the chaos, but instead a tall body blocked your path and sharp brown eyes eyed you up and down. 

“Haven’t seen you at one of these yet.” His voice was slightly slurred and the mix of alcohol and cheap cologne pouring off of him was almost nauseating. “You lookin’ for someone to spend a little time with?” He asked inching closer and forcing you to press your back against the railing of the staircase. Now your breath was coming much too quick and the familiar numbness sprouting in your fingertips told you that you were on the verge of having a panic attack. You’d been through enough over the past years to recognize when one was coming. You also knew that if you could’t find a calm place to ground yourself in the next few minutes you were going to break down. With your mind in panic mode, you glanced over your shoulder and saw that the staircase you were pinned against led to a seemingly quiet hall. Deciding that was your only option, you shoved the guy’s chest and used his sluggish, drunken state as an opportunity to escape his grasp and head towards the stairs. You jumped over the “Stay Downstairs or Thor Will Kick Your Ass” sign that was haphazardly strung across the bottom entryway and took the stairs two at a time to get to the hall. There were no lights on in the corridor, but the strobes from the party downstairs provided you with enough light to find a doorknob. You desperately pushed on the door, but it was locked, so you ran to the next one, only to find yourself in the same situation. You didn’t notice the faint glow under the third door you tried and you almost cried in relief when the knob turned without any resistance.

You hurried into the room and closed the door, pressing your back against the cool wood and shutting your eyes. Starting at 100, you took a deep breath and exhaled counting backwards by three in your head. In your anxious state, you barely noticed the tears that were rushing down your cheeks. And you really had not noticed that you weren’t alone in this room. 

“Uh, is everything- are you ok?” A baritone voice caused your eyes to shoot open as you desperately tried to figure out its source through your blurred vision. Bringing your hands to your eyes you began to furiously wipe away the tears, ignoring the slight burning caused by the friction from your shirt against your skin. 

“Hey, whoah, hold on, you're gonna hurt yourself.” The voice said again, this time with more urgency. Suddenly, a pair of warm hands wrapped carefully around your wrists, gently pulling your hands away from your face. You were able to blink back enough tears to make out a head of blonde hair, broad shoulders, and kind blue eyes. The man in front of you continued to coax you down from your panic, and slowly the tears stopped falling while your breaths evened out. As embarrassed as you were that this kind man had to witness your anxiety attack you were grateful for his help. But just as you began to offer your thanks the door was thrown open, and a deep voice shouted over the blaring music downstairs. 

“Steve, what the hell are you doing locked away in your-” his words trailed off as his cerulean blue eyes landed on your tear stained face…

Chapter One coming this week!

tags~

@vicmc624 / @sjsmith56

[orions-athenaeum]

When You're Smiling- Prologue

Pairing: College!Bucky Barnes x F!reader

Synopsis: Throughout your life you have been labeled "boring" because of your quiet, thoughtful attitude. For example, you weren't a fan of parties, frats or really anything that required you to be around big groups of people. But after being dragged to a party, you meet someone who seems determined to prove that you have an adventurous side as well.

Chapter Warnings: panic attack, anxiety, drinking, sexual harassment

Word Count: 1.5k

Prologue

“Please Y/n. You don’t even have to stay for that long.” Sitting on the floor of your apartment, you continued to track your eyes over the pages of your textbook. You weren’t really retaining any information, you hadn’t been since your roommate Wanda barged in five minutes ago and began pestering you to go to a frat party with her. 

“Seriously, a night out would be good for you. You don’t even have to talk to anyone, but at least leave this apartment. Honestly, it’s getting kinda sad that you just sit here with your books every night-” 

“OK.” You cut off her somewhat offensive rambling by roughly slamming your psychology textbook shut. “If you are so concerned about my social life I will, for forty five minutes, go to this party.” Wanda squealed and threw her arms around you. 

“Thank you, I promise once you get there you’ll have so much fun!” Your face remained neutral but inside your stomach was beginning to twist itself into a tight knot. There was a reason you didn’t really like parties, of course you wouldn’t judge your friends for going to as many as they could, they just weren't your scene. “-oh, I’m gonna call Nat, she can bring over some tops for you to try, let me grab my phone, I’ll be right back.” You didn’t realize you had zoned out long enough for Wanda to bring your other friend Natasha into the equation. When Wanda left the room you tried to distract yourself from spiraling by watching the rain dance against the window. This is “cozy romance novel reading” weather, not “get wasted with a bunch of randos” weather, you thought to yourself, but then instantly shook your head and brushed your glasses up to rub your eyes. Maybe you were in desperate need of a party. Or not. Because frat parties were the worst. The last one you were at was three years ago during your freshman year: you went in excited to try something new, and ended the night drenched in someone else’s beer, with tears running down your cheeks and mascara staining your face. You didn’t know who spilled beer on you, but the tears and mascara combination was courtesy of having to watch the guy you liked make out with not one, but three girls that night. To top it all off, one of your heels had snapped, forcing you to walk home in 30 degree weather with no shoes. So you weren’t a fan of frat parties, and maybe you shouldn’t base your judgements on one awful experience, but you had never been party type before and that night seemed like a sign from the universe confirming, “you and parties do NOT mix.” 

Wanda’s hurried footsteps interrupted the mental storm that had been picking up speed over the time she was absent. 

“Ok, Nat is on her way, and she’s bringing options for shirts, and I have this new pair of heels that would look so-” 

“No. No heels, sorry Wan.” You said somewhat sheepishly. You hadn’t known Wanda yet when you went through the frat debacle a couple years ago and for some reason you had elected to withhold that story from your two closest friends. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t brought it up, maybe you figured they would stop trying to force you to party every weekend, or maybe they would insist you give it another try. The latter is what you were afraid of, and knowing Nat and Wanda, the former was not likely to happen. 

Wanda gave you a curious look, but if she thought something was off she didn’t say anything. Instead, she ran to the door as a buzz sounded on the intercom. 

__________________________________________

An hour later, you were dressed in a long sleeved open back top, baggy jeans, and a pair of well loved (extremely dirty) shoes. Wanda and Nat practically dragged you out of your apartment and down the street, laughing and talking animatedly all while you stayed quiet and counted the yellow taxis that rushed past you.

When the three of you finally made it to the party, an inky darkness had settled over the city. The grass beneath your feet was still damp from that afternoon’s rain and you couldn’t help but frown at how humid it had become, dreading how suffocating it was going to be inside the house. 

“Do you wanna grab something to drink?” Nat yelled over the bass as you tried to squeeze through the crowded entryway. You were immediately overwhelmed, strobe lights were flashing against the walls, music was shaking the floor and hot, sweaty bodies kept bumping up against you. You closed your eyes in an attempt to somehow center yourself. After a few seconds of futilely waiting for a moment of peace, you let your eyelids flutter open and to your annoyance, Nat and Wanda were no longer standing beside you. You knew it wasn’t their fault, and that they would never intentionally leave you alone, but you couldn’t stop the panic that began rising in your chest from the absence of your two friends. Not knowing what else to do, you shouldered your way through the mass of drunk college students, searching for a quiet place to stand and look for Nat and Wanda. You had scouted out a small, unoccupied alcove under the stairs and made your way to it. Two steps and you would have gotten some reprieve from the chaos, but instead a tall body blocked your path and sharp brown eyes eyed you up and down. 

“Haven’t seen you at one of these yet.” His voice was slightly slurred and the mix of alcohol and cheap cologne pouring off of him was almost nauseating. “You lookin’ for someone to spend a little time with?” He asked inching closer and forcing you to press your back against the railing of the staircase. Now your breath was coming much too quick and the familiar numbness sprouting in your fingertips told you that you were on the verge of having a panic attack. You’d been through enough over the past years to recognize when one was coming. You also knew that if you could’t find a calm place to ground yourself in the next few minutes you were going to break down. With your mind in panic mode, you glanced over your shoulder and saw that the staircase you were pinned against led to a seemingly quiet hall. Deciding that was your only option, you shoved the guy’s chest and used his sluggish, drunken state as an opportunity to escape his grasp and head towards the stairs. You jumped over the “Stay Downstairs or Thor Will Kick Your Ass” sign that was haphazardly strung across the bottom entryway and took the stairs two at a time to get to the hall. There were no lights on in the corridor, but the strobes from the party downstairs provided you with enough light to find a doorknob. You desperately pushed on the door, but it was locked, so you ran to the next one, only to find yourself in the same situation. You didn’t notice the faint glow under the third door you tried and you almost cried in relief when the knob turned without any resistance.

You hurried into the room and closed the door, pressing your back against the cool wood and shutting your eyes. Starting at 100, you took a deep breath and exhaled counting backwards by three in your head. In your anxious state, you barely noticed the tears that were rushing down your cheeks. And you really had not noticed that you weren’t alone in this room. 

“Uh, is everything- are you ok?” A baritone voice caused your eyes to shoot open as you desperately tried to figure out its source through your blurred vision. Bringing your hands to your eyes you began to furiously wipe away the tears, ignoring the slight burning caused by the friction from your shirt against your skin. 

“Hey, whoah, hold on, you're gonna hurt yourself.” The voice said again, this time with more urgency. Suddenly, a pair of warm hands wrapped carefully around your wrists, gently pulling your hands away from your face. You were able to blink back enough tears to make out a head of blonde hair, broad shoulders, and kind eyes. The man in front of you continued to coax you down from your panic, and slowly the tears stopped falling as your breaths evened out. As embarrassed as you were that this saint of a man had to witness your anxiety attack you were grateful for his help. But just as you began to offer your thanks the door was thrown open, and a new, deep voice shouted over the blaring music downstairs. 

“Steve, what the hell are you doing locked away in your-” his words trailed off as his steel blue eyes landed on your tear stained face…

Chapter One coming this week!

[providing-leverage]

The A-Team

(asexaul and aromantic Ted Lasso fic recs)

Let's be honest, half the reason for this post is the title. But also to shine some light on a couple beautiful fics I've found with aro and ace characters in this fandom. The purple heart indicates ace, green indicates aro content.

A is for Ally by starryeyedknight 3.8k💜

When Richard suggests a novel way for the Richmond boys to show their allyship, Colin ends up coming out to the team...just not in the way they were expecting.

In which the team gets distracted (multiple times), Isaac is overprotective, Jamie suspects Colin might actually be a Jedi knight, and Bumbercatch reveals way more about his sexual preferences than anyone was expecting. (And poor Will is inadvertently scarred for life.)

A cute little fic that I found perusing the asexual tag. I really enjoyed this au, and Colin's coming out/the guy's reactions to him as well as him not having it all figured out himself.

Love Stuck by @altschmerzes 6k 💚

When Keeley opens the door, Jamie bypasses any kind of perhaps typically-expected greeting. While this isn’t exactly unusual for him, what he says is.

“I’ve got great news,” he tells her, smiling like he really does have great news, which helps to somewhat offset the sense of foreboding she’d been starting to feel. “I am not in love with you. Can I come in?"

OR: Jamie Tartt is aromantic. This changes everything. This also changes nothing. A study in identity, defining your own relationships, and different kinds of love.

I am completely in love with this fic. Jamie having a bi panic before he realizes actually, neither is good/ref. It's very true to my own experiences and made me relate to him so much.

Such a Skeptic: or, Keeley Jones is Bad at Communication by ellarree 800💚

Keeley Jones is definitely not bitter about Shandy. Barbara is definitely interested in double dates and the institution of romance as a whole. Jamie Tartt definitely knows why he’s here. And Jack Danvers? Well, she knows that none of those three statements are true.

A short sequel to the above fic, with aromantic bonding and Barbara who quite honestly deserves so much more screen time in cannon. It has it's own sequel which you can find here.

A Simple Matter of (Mis)Communication by starryeyedknight 3k💜

For the past few weeks Moe Bumbercatch and Jan Maas have been spending an awful lot of time together, and everyone knows what that means. Everyone, apparently, except for Moe Bumbercatch himself...

Apparently I just need to binge read this author's whole collection of works because I didn't realize they also write A is for Ally until making this. Asexual Jan Mass which again I found myself relating to a lot. Technically part of a series and his asexuality was mentioned in the first work, but it's central to the plot of this one. It's also super cute.

Self rec: it's a rather touching notion by providing_leverage 5.7k 💜💚

“I won’t beat around the bush. We think you might be bisexual. You familiar with it?” A friendly team game of spin the bottle ends in a few revelations, some quicker than others. (AKA Moe Bumbercatch going through the unofficial aroace right of passage: adding no real attraction to men with no real attraction to women and coming up with bisexual, with a little help from his friends)

I really enjoyed writing this, even if the last 2k was just a fight against myself. It went through so many different versions and ended longer than I meant for it to be. I really neat part of the Ted Lasso fandom is how platonic so much of the content is.

If you've got any aspec recommendations of your own, please drop them here or tag me. Self recs are absolutely invited. Happy pride!

[svartalfhild]

Summer Reading/Writing/Arting Tag

Tagged by @late-nite-scholar to complete this "get to know the author" tag game. Thank you~!

Tagging: @wayfaring-rune, @celamity, @boxingcleverrr, @mxphanes

1) Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

Just one? Well shit, that's tough. I have so many ideas percolating in my noodle, both in terms of writing and art.

Let's see...aside from my current ongoing march of ESO fic which is very likely to continue through the rest of the year, I do have a cyberpunk novel I've been wanting to continue working on. It's currently titled Ars Voltaica, and it's set in Detroit about a hundred years from now. It's about a young woman fresh out of college who gets into a corporate sponsored debt relief program in which she has to sign a contract to work in the data entry department of said corporation for five years and also live entirely on their campus. While she's there, she becomes privy to some information she shouldn't know and oops! suddenly she has to flee for her life. And that's just the beginning! There's a lot of stuff to do with androids in there. One of the central characters, the personal assistant of the corporate boss, is an android, and he's got wild shit going on with him. A lot of my motivation for this story comes out of me being mightily salty about how bad Detroit: Become Human is lol.

Anyway! In terms of art, the main thing on the docket is doing the final player character portrait for my DnD group. He's a Fallen Aasimar Conquest Paladin who's getting his holy power from Bane but doesn't realize it yet. He's played by my friend Jim.

2) Rec a book!

Aw shit I'm not the reader I used to be, and unfortunately I've disliked more of the books I've read lately than I've liked. I can always go back to reccing the Starlight & Shadows trilogy by Elaine Cunningham for the DnD novel inclined who want to read about a drow other than Drizzt or Jarlaxle who is also a lady. The story actually explains why drow magic works on the surface when it didn't used to. Also a good series if you're a fan of fancy wizard/scruffy barbarian romances.

3) Rec a fic! (outside your character tag)

Once again, I'm not the reader I used to be, but every now and again, when I'm thinking about my love for Perc'ahlia from Campaign 1 of Critical Role, I remember AFK: a critrole MMO AU and how fucking good it was, both in concept and execution. The premise is that the characters are living in the modern world and all know each other through playing an MMO together.

4) Rec music!

Kill the Alarm's album Fire Away is nothing but bangers (especially the title song) and tastes of distilled 2008 to me. Been listening to those songs for a looooong time.

Eva Under Fire's cover of Separate Ways fucking slaps and it's been in heavy rotation lately.

5) Share one piece of advice!

Let me share a writing secret from your friendly neighbourhood linguist: in fiction, grammar is your bitch, and anyone who tells you different is trying to sell something. Obviously it's good to know grammar rules, and a certain amount of obeying those rules is necessary for coherent and clear communication, but everything after that is fair game. You can have your characters speak in run-on sentences, because people do that all the time in real life, and it doesn't even always sound awkward. You. Can. Put. Periods. In. Improper. Places. You know why? Because bending and breaking the rules can convey something that following the rules can't. Think of the way people convey tone and cadence in their posts online or in texts. You can totally do some of those tricks in your writing to get the vibe you want, especially in dialogue.

Related: "don't split your infinitives" and "never end a sentence with a preposition" are fake rules literally made up by some asshole scholars during the Renaissance because they thought English needed to be more like Latin. Don't pay any mind to that shit. You can quote me on that.

[z3llie]

What You Write Does Not Impact Your Title as a Writer.

A lot of people get hated for calling themselves writers. This is a bit of a rant post because a few of my friends have been told they weren't writers. Guess what? If you write, you are a writer.

"B-but I write fanfiction!!" You protest meekly. That doesn't matter. Fanfiction is still writing. It's still consumable, even if nobody reads yours. It is still a form of writing, reading, and enjoying. A lot of people don't realize how many published authors started writing books because they started writing. Lancali, for instance, wrote an amazing book (one of my favorites) called I Fell In Love With Hope. The book is amazing and the author wrote fanfiction before she wrote that! I wrote fanfiction, and my Wattpad followers still sometimes call for me. Yet, here I am, writing an entire fantasy book (with some amazing romance, by the way.) And even if you never want to write an "original" book/novel, writing fanfiction still makes you a writer.

"I only write poetry," you respond with a monotone voice. Poetry. Is. Writing. You are a poet. Even if you think you aren't a good one because not everything rhymes or because you don't have the right amount of verses or whatever, you're still a writer. The quality of what you write increases over time.

"I don't let anyone read what I write," you reply with secrets poisoning your words. That. Doesn't. Matter. If you write, you're a writer. Even if you don't let people see what you write, you're still writing. Whether you're not ready to share your work, or if you simply never want to share it, you're still a writer.

"I only write short stories. It's not like I can become an author." You mumble. What? Excuse me? One of my favorite books is a collection of short stories. You might've heard of it, y'know, because it became a movie. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark by Alvin Schwarz is an amazing collection of scary short stories.

And before any of you say "My writing isn't good enough," I have five things to tell you.

Writing gets better with practice. Like sports, gaming, meditation, critical thinking, etc. It gets better with practice.

Writing is subjective. You may think your work is awful, but there are hundreds, maybe thousands, hell, maybe millions of people who wish they could write like you.

Authors age like fine wine. The more experienced you are with writing and with life, the more your work will be appreciated.

Not every author is appreciated in their era. H.P. Lovecraft, for example, wasn't really given a second thought. Now, most people know of his stories, even if you don't know who he was, (he was not the best "idol", per se, due to his racist views) but he made Cthulu, a figure that became increasingly common through modern media. I'm not saying this to scare writers. I'm saying this because when you're young, you might not write the best things, or have your work appreciated on a higher level. But books age. They become more common as they do. So be patient.

You've got this. No matter what you're writing, you can do it.

[scuttling]

If I Should Linger

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,979 (what is wrong with me??) Tags: 18+, NSFW, Best Friend's Dad Hotch, Confident reader, Flirting, Oral sex, Protected sex, Dirty talk, A little angst with a happy ending Summary: Your best friend stands you up at the bar, but it actually turns into the best night you've had in a long time—maybe the best night of your life. Unfortunately, things don't stay uncomplicated for long... *Requested by @hotforhotchner11 Link to A03 or read below! “I can’t believe you stood me up to have sex with a frat boy,” you hiss into your phone from your seat at the bar. Your best friend Julie—better known as Jay—is on the other end, and she’s completely ruining your plans for the evening at later than the last minute. She’s never on time for anything.

“He’s not a frat boy… yet. He’s rushing.” You pick up your gin and tonic to take a sip, but her comment makes you pause.

“He’s rushing? How old is he?” The breath she blows out before she answers tells you everything you need to know. Goddamn cradle robber.

“Twenty? Or, almost twenty.”

“Oh, you nasty girl. He’s nearly ten years younger than us.” At 28, you literally could not imagine being interested in a 20 year old. Anyone under 25 is practically an infant; what would you talk about?

“The pussy wants what it wants, babe. It’s more fun when they barely know what they’re doing.” Then again, you figure, she isn’t exactly doing much talking.

“That’s gross, Jay.”

“Is it any grosser than your thing for older guys? You’d fuck my dad if I let you anywhere near him, which is exactly why I don’t.”

“I would not fuck your dad—actually, what does he look like?” She groans down the line and you laugh. “I’m kidding. I’m trying to fuck someone’s dad tonight, but not yours.” You hear a choked laugh from beside you and you glance over at, objectively, one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen: he’s Black, bald, muscular, with a neatly trimmed goatee and a killer smile, and apparently your thirst for older men amuses him. You smile back. “Jay, I have to go; I’m embarrassing myself in public.”

“Okay, and what else is new? Bye!” When she hangs up, you lock your phone and turn to face the man at the bar.

“Sorry about that. Sometimes I forget people are actually listening in places like these; there’s so much talking it’s all kind of white noise to me.”

“It’s kind of my job to listen to what no one else does, but I forget to turn it off sometimes,” he says, and no, that’s not intriguing or anything. “So you’re into older guys?” he asks with a raised eyebrow, and you lean in with your chin in your hand, elbow on the bar.

“Almost exclusively. You don’t look old enough to be someone’s dad, but I’d probably make an exception.” He laughs again; he doesn’t have a drink, so maybe he’s waiting for the bartender, but you sip yours.

“I’m flattered, but taken. I have a friend who’s probably your type; he doesn’t do one night stands, though. He doesn’t really do anything. We’re trying to loosen him up.” You hum thoughtfully, take a cursory glance around the room.

“I happen to be great at loosening older men up. Is he here?” He shoots you a smile, looks at you like you kind of amaze him.

“You don’t beat around the bush, do you?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Would you, if you weren’t taken?” He nods a little, like you’ve got a good point, and you both laugh. “Yeah, it’s a double standard. If you can walk up to a woman and ask her if it hurt when she fell from heaven, why can’t I walk up to an older man and ask if he believes in love at first sight, or if I should walk by again?”

“That tired line would not work on my friend,” he says, and you grin.

“I think you’d be surprised. But, you know him better, so why don’t you just invite me back to your table, since I got stood up by my friend and I’m all alone, and let me do my thing?” You swirl your straw in your drink, try to look flirty, and he leans in on his elbow like you did before.

“You know what? What the hell. If nothing else, he gets some attention from a pretty girl and maybe it boosts his confidence.” You smile—you like this guy already.

“Aw, you think I’m pretty?” He rolls his eyes, and then the bartender presents him with his drinks. You take two—one is a neat bourbon, that has to belong to the older man friend—and follow him to his table while he just shakes his head.

“Looks like you brought back more than drinks,” a pale woman with dark hair and bangs says with a smile when the two of you approach the table. He hands her one of the beers, takes the cocktail from your hand and gives it to a petite blonde with fair skin.

“Her friend bailed on her and we got talking at the bar, so I invited her to come sit with us.” You introduce yourself to the group, and the friend Derek mentioned might be your type? Egregious understatement.

He’s everything you like in an older man: polite, well-spoken, handsome, clean shaven, with a great head of thick, dark hair—he’s wearing an expensive watch, a goddamn suit, a tailored suit that fits him perfectly, and if Jay were here, you’d be catching her attention and panting like a dog, with your hands up near your face.

To someone without your more refined palate for older gentlemen, he may look like an average white guy in his early fifties, but you have to look down to make sure your panties haven’t dropped involuntarily. Just in case.

“Is this seat taken?” you ask, gesturing to the one next to him, and he shakes his head, pulls it out for you before he sits back down—yes, he stood when you approached the table. Manners, check. You’re trying not to drool.

You smooth out your skirt before you take your seat—you always dress for the man you want to attract, and tonight is no exception, so you’re wearing a black lace dress and nude heels; the dress is fitted, but not clingy, and not too short, and you know the right kind of man will find it appealing. So far, your handsome potential love interest Aaron seems to be looking respectfully; that may change, but you’re happy to see it, for now.

“So Derek mentioned you’re all in the FBI; are you the boss? You look like the boss,” you say with a playful smile, and Aaron looks a little nervous when he nods, makes eye contact.

“Until someone decides to overthrow me,” he jokes, deadpan, and your smile gets brighter. Dry sense of humor, check.

“I’d like to see them try; I definitely sense that you can handle your own.” Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Derek hiding a smile behind his hand. He knows you’re flirting, even if no one else does, and another reason you hope to take Aaron home is so you can wipe that smile off his face—but mostly because Aaron’s gorgeous, and you know it would be a very good time for the both of you.

“Let’s play darts,” Derek says to the other people at the table—you can’t remember their names at the moment, all your attention focused on Aaron—and they get up and walk over to the board, so it’s just the two of you.

Aaron clears his throat. “Thank you. What do you do for work?”

“I’m in publishing; a copy editor. Mostly Tom Clancy type action novels, and romance novels. Lots of heaving bosoms and cries of overwhelming pleasure, you know?” You take a sip of your drink through the straw, looking over at him as innocently as you can. He’s a little flushed; you’re a huge fan of that look on a man. “Do you ever read romance novels?”

“Uh, no. Not my genre.” He takes a sip of his drink, and you watch his mouth while he does.

“Not mine either. When you edit enough of them, they become wholly unsexy… and they never compare to real life.” You flick your eyes over his body, briefly but not subtly, and he gives you a glance back. Your heart beats a little faster in your chest. “So what do you like to read? Wait, may I guess?” you ask, setting a hand on his arm. He nods, and you carry on, leaning just a little closer. “So I’m going to guess you’re a fan of the classics, novels you’ve read a hundred times. I think you would tell me your favorite is To Kill a Mockingbird,” you say, tapping against his sleeve, “and maybe intellectually it is, but you actually feel more when you read Moby Dick. I bet your heart yearns for adventure—not that life as a crime solving FBI agent is boring, but it's all too real. Moby Dick is the perfect blend of adventure and fantasy for a man like you.”

“You’ve known me for all of ten minutes,” he says with a raised eyebrow, and you shrug and take a drink.

“True. But am I right? Or close?” He smiles, the first full, unguarded expression he’s given tonight, and you feel awesome for making that happen.

“My favorite book is Moby Dick. I make a point to read it at least twice a year. You’re good.”

“Thank you.” You pull back, take your hand off of his arm; you’ve laid the groundwork for touching, and he’ll have to make a move if he wants more. “People often tell you a lot they don’t intend to, and books are my thing, so it’s easy for me to connect the dots. I recommend books to people as a kind of party trick.” You stir your drink, and he shifts a little, sitting closer.

“Have you disappointed many people with your recommendations?”

“Oh, I make it a personal mission to never leave anyone disappointed,” you say, your voice low and sweet like honey. His eyes move to your mouth. You sweep your tongue over your bottom lip. “Derek said your friends are trying to get you to loosen up; can I ask why?” He flicks his eyes up to yours, frowns a little, like he’s not sure that’s something he’s ready to tell you; ultimately, he just sighs.

“I’ve been divorced for five years, alone for five years. They think it’s time I…” He trails off, shrugs.

“Get back in the saddle?” you offer, and he laughs lightly, agrees. “Is that something you’re interested in? You shouldn’t feel pressured into it if you’re not ready.” You might want to sleep with him so badly it’s sickening, but not at the expense of his well-being.

He exhales deeply and lifts his arm to rest it on the back of your chair; you want to smile, but the conversation doesn’t call for it, so you hold off.

“I think I’m ready, but how do you really know?” You turn toward him a little more, lean against his arm; it feels easy, comfortable, almost like a real date and not you flirting like your life depends on it and hoping to get a bite.

“I think you should wait to meet someone who makes you feel a spark, and then explore it. Maybe it burns hot, but doesn’t last. Maybe it’s a slow burn. Maybe it’s a bit of both. I think when you’re really ready to put yourself out there, you’ll know.” He holds your gaze, wets his lips, takes a breath.

“You’ve been flirting with me.” You do smile a little, then.

“Yes, Aaron, I have.”

“Did Derek put you up to it?”

“Absolutely not.” You touch his arm again, gentle, lean in close. “I’m genuinely interested in you. You’re everything I’m attracted to in a man.” His smile doesn’t touch his eyes.

“Old and uptight?”

“Older, and kind, and capable of having a conversation about more than just sports and money, and handsome. Very handsome.” You lift your fingers from his arm, brush them through his hair over his temple. “I feel a spark. Do you?”

“Yes,” he breathes, and when you set your hand on the table, he covers it carefully with his. His hand is big, warm, softer than you’d expected, and you’re met with the sudden urge to feel it all over your body. “I feel a spark.”

“Good. Do you want to come home with me tonight? No strings attached—just to get you back in the saddle,” you say with a tilt of your head, and he nods.

“I want to.” You’re certain that the smile that crosses your face is softer, inviting, but you get the feeling he won’t kiss you while his friends could be watching. You’re actually surprised he’s touching you so openly.

“Okay, so why don’t you give me a ride home? I was going to have to call an Uber, since my friend didn’t show up, but you’re a gentleman, aren’t you? You wouldn’t let me do that.” He catches on to what you’re saying, the excuse you’re giving him to give his friends, makes a noise of understanding.

“Of course. I wouldn’t rest not knowing you made it home safely.”

“I’m not sure how much rest you’ll be getting tonight,” you murmur, and you rest your free hand on his thigh under the table, squeeze a little. He’s very firm, and you kind of melt. “But that’s a very sweet sentiment, Aaron. Are you committed to staying here much longer?”

“Not at all. Would you like to leave now?” You hold his gaze for a moment, want to be really sure about this; you’re no expert on body language, but you’ve been here before, and he really does look less tense than when you first showed up, more comfortable and open. All really good signs.

“Yes, please.” He squeezes your hand, then stands, smooths out his jacket, and tells you he’ll be right back while he goes to say goodbye to his friends. You stand too, finish what’s left of your drink, and pull out your phone to text Jay.

Taking home the most incredible man. Guess I don’t need my wingwoman after all.

J: Tell grandpa I said he better treat you right.

Please. He’s not that old. If anything, you can call him daddy. :P

J: You can call him daddy. Have fun ;) The ride to your apartment starts out quiet, but you try to fill it by asking Aaron more about himself. You keep your hands on him while you chat, leaning as close to him as you can while wearing your seatbelt, running your hand up and down his leg, over his arm while he shifts gears. You know it’s turning you on, and you’re fairly certain it’s turning him on as well.

You learn more about his job, that he basically solves crimes by judging people, which is kind of funny; before that, he was a lawyer, which you can definitely see. He has one child, a daughter who’s upset with him because of the divorce (someone’s dad, check), and a brother who lives in New York, no living parents. It’s more information than you usually get out of someone you plan to sleep with, but you really do like him, and since he’s not the one night stand type, you think more conversation is the right way to go.

He asks about you too, about your family and your job and your lame friend who bailed on you, and when he arrives outside your building, parks in the lot, you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean in closer, smoothing a hand over his waist.

“I’m really glad I met you tonight,” you breathe, looking up at him, and he puts his hand on your cheek and you meet for a slow, easy kiss. “Hmm. I knew you’d be good at that.”

“I knew you’d be good at that, too. You have the most beautiful lips.” He brushes his fingers over them, and you take his hand, bring two of them into your mouth to suck softly. His breath hitches, and you feel your panties getting damp. God, he’s gorgeous. “Let’s go inside,” he whispers, and you slip his fingers out, drop a hand to his lap where he’s—oh, so perfectly hard it’s unreal.

“We could get started out here, have a little adventure,” you say playfully, fully prepared for him to say he’d rather not, but he just licks his lips and looks at you like you’re going to be the death of him, but at least he’ll die happily. That’s another look you’re a huge fan of on an older man.

You undo his belt, his button and his zipper, pull his cock out of his pants; he’s of average length, thick, makes your mouth water, and you lean in to use that to your advantage, getting him wet with your saliva and then stroking him in your hand. You look up at his face, and he’s got his eyes closed, head back against the headrest—so fucking sexy. You reach your free hand under his shirt, where he’s hairy, strong, but a little soft, just the way you like it, and he opens his eyes and pulls you close for a kiss that’s a bit harder than the last.

“You’re absolutely perfect,” he sighs against your lips, and you press closer for another kiss. You almost regret the adventure comment now, because you want to undress him, and touch him, feel him all over, but you’ll just have to be patient. (That’s never been your strong suit.)

“Are you kidding? You are… everything. If I could build a dream man, he would literally be a copy of you.” He makes a sharp, self-deprecating sound, and you lean down to get him wetter, move your hand a little faster. “I’m completely serious. I’m a little upset I’ve been going to that bar for so long and our paths never crossed.” One of his hands moves to your hair, and he pulls you close for a kiss; he’s ready to come, you can tell, and you want him to more than anything, so you cover his hand with yours and dip your head, sucking his dick like you’re desperate for it. When it comes to Aaron, you’re kind of desperate for everything.

“Oh, god. That feels so good, baby.” You moan at the pet name—is there anything better in the world than an older man calling you baby? Maybe just Aaron specifically calling you baby—and he tightens his fingers in your hair while you glide over him, tight and wet, until he comes in your mouth.

You swallow it down, pull off breathless, and then swipe your tongue over him so he’s clean enough that you can tuck him back into his pants. You look up at him from his lap, and he’s panting too, rubs his fingers over your lips, your chin, down your throat. You’re desperately horny now, soaking wet, and when you shift to sit up, he catches you for a deep, steamy kiss, and that does nothing to help your situation.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, and ugh, your heart flutters. Seriously, who created this man? He’s incredible. “Now let’s go inside so I can make you come, too.”

“Definitely,” you agree with a nod, and you kiss him once more before pulling back and climbing out of the car, straightening yourself up. He does the same, then walks over to you, takes your hand, and follows you into your apartment.

Sex with Aaron is… talk about adventure. He fucks like—well, like he hasn’t done it in over five years. As soon as you get inside the door, he gets on his knees, pulls your panties down, lifts your skirt up, and eats your pussy with such enthusiasm you come with your hands in his hair, rocking against his face, in less than three minutes. Seeing him down on the ground in the full suit, just going to town on you, is not an image you’ll soon forget, that’s for sure.

After that, the two of you stumble to your bedroom, hands all over each other, tugging at zippers and discarding clothes—he has you keep your shoes on, and that makes you feel slutty like a porn star, and super hot—and you kiss, touch, moving your hands all over each other's bodies until he’s hard again. You stay in missionary, and after he slips on a condom from your bedside table, he slides into you, kisses your lips and your neck and your shoulders while he rolls his hips against yours.

It’s slow and sensual at first, and you drag your nails lightly across his back, tilt your head when he nips at your throat.

“Aaron, oh. You feel so good,” you breathe, scraping your fingers through his hair, and his thrusts get a little deeper, his kisses a little rougher.

“You’re incredible. So gorgeous.” He moves a hand to your breast, massages it while your bodies work; you hitch your legs up higher, moan, and pull him closer, your hands on his body, and he fucks into you more frantically, humping against you hard, wildly. You’ve never really gotten fuck you like an animal, but that’s kind of what he’s doing, and you’re into it, clinging to him, pushing into his thrusts like it’s possible to take him deeper than you are now.

God, he’s going to spoil you, ruin you for all other men. You’re going to have your best sex at 28 and then be chasing this feeling the rest of your goddamn life. It’s both amazing and horribly unfair.

“Yes, Aaron, yeah. Fuck me hard, fuck me deep.” He groans, pounds inside you, moves his hand from your breast to the back of your neck and stares down into your eyes while he absolutely destroys you. You come clenching around him, pulling his hair and digging your nails into his shoulder, and his mouth comes crashing down for a kiss while he thrusts through it and then stutters, his orgasm right behind yours.

You sag against the pillow behind your head, and he puts his weight on you, hand still clamped around the nape of your neck, and breathes hot against your throat.

You stare up at the ceiling, catching your breath, and thank fucking god Jay stood you up tonight. Aaron is very sweet, kissing you and holding you, murmuring against your skin, and the two of you go to the bathroom, get cleaned up, and then raid your kitchen for snacks, talking easily and laughing. He doesn’t look like he’s about to bolt, which you’d been a little worried about; in fact, he actually suggests taking your snacks back to bed, jokes about not getting any crumbs on your white sheets. Never one to kick a man out abruptly after sex, and especially not a man like Aaron, you agree, and you end up in bed again, which means…

Another frantically torn condom wrapper later, and you’re on your stomach, your nipples rubbing against the sheets. Aaron’s hands are on your ass while you work yourself on his cock, rolling your body, moaning desperately like you aren’t already two orgasms deep; his dick hits just right, and between that and the nipple stimulation you’re coming fast, bucking hard against him so he’ll follow.

“Fuck, baby, coming already?” He tightens his grip, slams inside you, plants one hand on the bed to change his angle a bit. “Let’s try for another; your body is so perfect, built for sex, built for me.” You groan, roll your eyes back because his dirty talk is hitting the spot, and the two of you fuck together, noisy and eager and hot, until he shudders, squeezes your ass hard and starts to come.

You’re so close, right on the edge, and you sound wild because of it, your moans high, whimpering, your fingers digging into the sheets.

“Yes, yes, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” you beg, grinding against him, and he puts both hands hard on your hips, rails you into the bed.

“I’m not stopping until you come for me. Come for me,” he murmurs, and he wraps one hand around the front of your body, rubs your clit, and you climax, squeezing your eyes shut, seeing stars. You moan his name, drop your hand to cover his where it rests against your pussy, and this time when his body drapes across your back like a weighted blanket, you sigh and close your eyes.

He kisses your back and shoulders, runs his big hands over your hips and ass, then slides off and guides you to the edge of the bed, lifts you up and carries you to the bathroom. You think absently that you could get used to being treated this well, and you must say it, because he presses a kiss to your lips and whispers, “I will if you let me.”

There��s a little talk in bed, after you’re cleaned up and cozy beneath the comforter, about going on a real date; Aaron seems nervous, like he thinks you won’t go for it, that all you wanted was this night of sex. And yes, while that’s typically your MO, something about Aaron is different. He makes you want more, things like dates and picnics and sweet lovemaking at night and kisses—all the kisses, everywhere, all the time.

You ask him to stay, and he promises he will, and you fall asleep in his arms. It’s the best you’ve felt in a really long time.

You wake up to Aaron’s sleepy, handsome face, and you kiss and smile into each other’s lips, because last night was great, but this is even greater. Your plan is to take a shower together and then go out for breakfast, but there’s a knock at your door just as you’re planning to step in.

“You go ahead, I’ll catch up,” you tell him with a kiss, and you pull on your robe and peer through the peephole, then pull the door open. “Well, well; now you decide to show up.”

Jay steps in with a box of doughnuts and two cups of coffee, looking properly shamed.

“I know, I’m a horrible friend. I broke the slut code: stay slutty, but never at the expense of your best girl.” You crack a smile, because you could never really be mad at her, but especially not after last night. You’re about to say that, but she looks over your shoulder at the clothes still strewn about your living room and grins. “Holy shit. Is your old man still here?”

“He’s not an old man, and yes, he’s in the shower, so shut up.” She shoves the doughnuts and coffee carrier into your hands and brushes past you, toward your bedroom, and you groan. “Jay, no, come on.”

“I just want to get a glimpse of him,” she says, peeking her head into your room. She sees more clothes, and the condom wrappers, looks back at you with a cocked eyebrow. “Okay, someone had a good time last night.”

“Yes, it was fucking incredible. He’s a sex god, I’m not even kidding. He ate my pussy like he hasn’t had a meal in months, then fucked me twice, so hard and sexy, and then he asked me if he could take me on a date, Jay.” You smile wide, can’t help it. “I really like him, so I actually owe you for not coming out last night.” She smiles back, pulls you close for a hug, and you step back with your hands on her shoulders. “So thank you, and thanks for coming to apologize, but can you please leave? I really don’t want to miss out on some potential good morning shower sex.”

She rolls her eyes, but it’s all from a place of love, and she turns to head out of your room.

“Okay, but only because cockblocking you would mean breaking the slut code again, and I can’t have my membership card revoked. I have a date with the almost frat boy again tonight.” She grins, and you shake your head, pull off your robe when you hear the door shut and head for the shower.

Good morning shower sex has never been so good. One month and twelve dates later, and you’re head over heels for Aaron. He is so sweet, and smart, and secretly funny, the perfect gentleman when you’re in public and an absolute manic in private, and you seriously could not have imagined a more perfect man.

Jay is maybe a little tired of hearing you talk about him.

You’re out for breakfast on a Saturday morning—Aaron is on a case in Indiana, or you’d probably be with him—and she sighs around a bite of french toast.

“I get it, he’s the best lay you’ve ever had in your life. He makes your pussy wet and your heart horny, or whatever. When do I get to meet the old man who’s got you wrapped around his big sexy fingers?”

“He’s supposed to be home tonight, maybe I’ll see if he’s feeling up to drinks?” Sometimes he’s really worn out after these cases, and you don’t blame him, but occasionally they must touch him in a way that makes him want to enjoy life, because you’ve had some nice dates the same day he gets back. You’ll ask, and if he’s not up for it, you’ll reschedule.

“Ooh, yes. I can’t wait to finally get a good look at the hunk who turned my maneater best friend into a monogamous whore.” You gasp, affronted, and she cackles, takes a sip of her iced coffee. Sometimes you can’t even remember why you’re friends—but she never fails to do something completely unexpected and sweet that reminds you eventually. “Hey, maybe now that you’re obsessed with this guy, you can finally meet my dad, since I don’t have to worry about you trying to suck his dick at first sight.”

You know that Jay’s relationship with her dad has been a little rough since her parents split up, and you’ve always thought that maybe you could get her to open up to him, to talk to him, if you could get to know him, but her fears about your taste for older men have always been hilariously real. As if you can’t control yourself; as if you’d ever actually date her dad.

“Well I’ll have to ask my old man; maybe he’s down for a threesome?” It’s her turn to act offended, and you laugh and send Aaron a text about this evening before you forget.

Can’t wait to meet the infamous Jay, he replies, and you won’t lie, you’re feeling really good about your two favorite people finally getting to know each other.

That night, you and Aaron beat Jay to the bar, because of course you do—that bitch is never on time for anything.

You’re feeling cute in a sexy turtleneck dress (the neck of which Aaron tugged down to place a hickey under when you rode him on the couch before coming here) and a set of earrings he bought you—you’re wearing a set of lingerie he bought you, too for later—and he looks gorgeous in a dark blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

You can barely keep your hands off of him, squeezing his thigh, kissing his neck; you only give him an inch of space when he gets up to run to the restroom, and even then, the way he smiles and presses his lips to yours before he goes makes you want to cancel drinks and take him home so you can be alone.

But Jay asked to meet him, and you have been a little obsessed lately, so you want to do this and make her happy.

You look down at your phone, ready to hit her with some inflammatory where the fuck are you??? texts, when she drops into the seat Aaron had just vacated, breathless.

“Sorry, sorry. Traffic was really bad, and I got into this huge fight with my mom on the phone...” She pulls off her jacket, drapes it over the back of the seat.

“Is everything okay?” you ask, concerned. The two of them usually get along pretty well.

“Yeah, she’s just pissed because my dad has a new girlfriend—which is stupid, because she’s the one who wanted to divorce him, so why does she care? But anyway, I told her I’d meet her and be nice to her, because it’s important to him, and she expects me to take her side or something. I don’t know. Let’s just say I’m really glad I’m out for drinks with you and your old man so I can forget about my problems for a while.” She takes a deep breath for practically the first time since she started talking, then looks around, realizes it’s just the two of you. “Hey, where is he, anyway?”

“Restroom,” you say with a smile, but something more must creep onto your face, because she rolls her eyes playfully.

“And you didn’t follow him in there for a little stall action?”

“Ew, no. That’s more your speed than mine; we had sex before we came, anyway, look at this hickey.” You pull the neck of your dress down and she whistles, impressed.

“Congrats on having such good pussy, babe. I know you’re sickeningly obsessed with him, but it looks to me like he’s got it bad for you too.” You grin, instinctively want to gush over him, but you see him walking over out of the corner of your eye, so you hold off.

He’s frowning, though, and you’re not sure why.

“Julie?” Jay whips her head around at the sound of Aaron’s voice, and her eyes get wide.

“Dad? What are you…” You stand up abruptly, looking up at Aaron, and Jay stands too, looking between you, confused. “What are you doing here?”

“I… We…” He swallows, looks at you like you’ve both made a terrible mistake. You’re surprised how much that look hurts, but you know you have to take care of Jay before you can feel sorry for yourself.

“Jay, listen to me, okay? I swear to god I didn’t know.” You’re begging, pleading with your eyes, your hands on her shoulders. “I did not know.” She shakes her head like it’s not making sense, but when she lets herself connect the dots, she brings up a hand to cover her mouth.

“Oh my god. Are you fucking kidding me?” She pulls away from you, looking at you like you punched her in the face. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Jay, I didn’t—”

“Julie,” Aaron says, reaching for her, but she steps back, palms up.

“I seriously can’t believe this. You two… After every joke we made about me keeping you away from him?” She looks at you like you betrayed her, and you exhale, shrug sadly.

“It’s not like I went looking for him, Jay. We just… found each other.” You don’t look at Aaron, because if the last month hasn’t meant the same things to him, you’ll have to be okay with that. “I know it’s shocking, and I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what it feels like to find this out, this way.”

“You’re right, you can’t imagine. I just fought with my mom about my dad’s new girlfriend, and it’s-it’s you.” She laughs, humorless.

“You fought with your mom? When?” Aaron asks, crossing his arms, and it’s so clear how much he cares about Jay. Her eyes fly to his.

“On the fucking way here. She told me about your new slut girlfriend, and I was defending you! I told her I’d meet her if you asked me to, that I’d be nice because I know she’s important to you! And it’s you,” she practically spits, turning to you. “Such a whore that you’ll fuck anyone over forty who can still get it up, including my fucking father.” Her tone stings, and people are looking at the three of you, but you take a breath, remind yourself that she’s just angry right now, and she loves you, doesn’t mean that.

“Julie, that's enough. I’m taking you home and we can talk about this there.” Aaron steps past her, picks up her jacket, and glances over at you, but you’re collecting your things and and pulling up a rideshare app to get yourself the fuck out of there.

You head for the bathroom to wait it out until your ride comes, and you definitely don’t cry because the two people who bring you the most happiness in the world are gone and they barely even looked back. It’s five days before Jay shows up at your door with apology doughnuts and a bottle of rosé. You eat and drink and cry on each other, and then laugh at each other, and your heart feels a little healed by the end of it.

“I’m sorry I called you a whore. It’s just… what are the odds, after everything we said, that you would actually hook up with my fucking dad.” You laugh and take the last bite of your doughnut.

“You don’t think I was a little startled by that turn of events? I was as shocked as you. I knew he had a daughter around my age, but that’s not really what we talked about, you know?” She shoves half a doughnut in her mouth and cackles.

“You don’t talk a whole lot, from what I’ve gathered.”

“Didn’t,” you say, and your whole mood shifts. She looks confused. “We didn’t talk a whole lot. He hasn’t spoken to me since the night you found out.” She pulls out her phone, starts texting.

“Okay, I told him I was okay with you guys like, two days ago, so this probably means he’s spiraling. He tends to do that—get in his own head and beat himself up for things that aren’t his fault.” She looks up from her phone, gives you a soft smile. “Will you forgive me if I tell you he’s moping at home right now, and that I know he’ll be happy to see you?” You roll your eyes a little.

“I already forgive you, Jay, but if he hasn’t called me, maybe there’s a reason. Maybe he was looking for an out, and I gave him one, or maybe he can’t feel the same way I do because he knows we’re friends.”

“He told my mom about you, remember? He wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t serious about you, and I don’t think he’d be acting this emo if he didn’t have feelings for you.” She reaches out, covers your hands with hers. “I’m really, really sorry I fucked this up for you guys. Weirdness aside, I know what good people you both are, and I hate that you were happy and I took that from you guys. I’m 100% supportive of you being my future step-mom,” she says with a grin, and you roll your eyes again and give her a hug and then jump up to get a shower.

You’re going to go get your old man.

When you knock on Aaron’s door an hour later, he looks surprised to see you.

“I thought you’d be Julie,” he says softly, and you sigh.

“I know. She sent me. She wants us to get our heads out of our asses, but I told her I don’t know where your head is, because we haven’t spoken.” Seeing him makes you feel a little better, because he does look like he may have been moping the last few days, so that must mean the spark is still there, right? “If you want me to leave, just tell me, and I’ll go; I’ll get out of your life and you can pretend it was just a casual thing, if that’s what you want.” Your heart aches at the thought, but you’d understand, if being his daughter’s best friend is an obstacle he can’t overcome.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he says after a long, painfully drawn out moment. “I don’t want you to ever leave. And I could never pretend this was casual.” He steps forward—so handsome in a t-shirt and jeans it makes you long to press kisses all over his face, to hold him and be held by him—and his eyes are trained on yours. “I know nothing about us is conventional, but it doesn’t matter to me if it doesn’t matter to you. I want to be with you.”

You take a deep, calming breath, exhale and nod. Your hands ache to reach out and touch him.

“I want to be with you, but only if you can promise that if something comes up with Jay—Julie—we can figure it out together. I don’t ever want to feel the way I felt the other night, and while I get that you had to take care of your daughter, and I’m glad you two talked things out, I can’t just be abandoned if things get weird.” You approach him, wrap your arms around him, and sigh. He hugs you so tightly, rests his cheek against the top of your head.

“I promise. I know I could have handled that better, but the situation was just so...”

“I know, that’s okay. Family comes first—but just so you know, she gave me her full support to campaign to become her new step-mom,” you say, pulling back with a teasing smile, and he shakes his head and grins. “So, one last question: Are you ready to get back in the saddle, Aaron?” He leans in and kisses you so hard you’re breathless, weaves his fingers into your hair.

“Sounds like my kind of adventure.” Message sent with high importance: Do not disturb! Your dad’s indecent.

J: Gross. Thanks for the warning, mom.

That’s step-mom, to you. Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed

[mountain-man-cumeth]

What Went Wrong: An In-Depth Analysis of Muriel's Route

*Youtuber voice*

Below are the opinions of an uneducated individual on what could’ve left the majority of The Arcana audience dissatisfied. I will explore the plot, tropes, themes and morals of the Muriel route and try to explain what may have gone wrong. I will be treating the game as a novel since it's advertised as one.

1. Consistency. If you are unfamiliar with the chekhov's gun; it's a story writing principle that dictates each element you introduce should come into play (foreshadowing). Now let's start with a few story beats that were later abandoned or concluded in an underwhelming manner:

Muriel's blanket

Muriel's magic mark (on his back)

Forest spirit (spirits in general)

Lucio's upbringing

Circumstances of MC's death

Figurines/whittling/charms

Muriel's blanket is teased to be a tapestry, which would tie in with his later fascination with them later on, as it had been the only thing he had left from his past. MC neither sees nor comments on the blanket, we only know it exists thanks to other playthroughs and short stories.

Magic marks are an important point in the game. Every main route emphasises on how it affects the chosen LI. It's reveal is important in a way that it serves as a passage to a new act where the reader explores magic and Arcana pantheon as they are a monumental part of the overall worldbuilding. This exact point applies to the Heart of the Forest and how spirits interact with the world around them as well.

Whittling and Charm making are the only hobbies we get from Muriel's isolated life, their introduction helps the reader humanise the character by giving us a crumb of his everyday life. It's never mentioned again after the scene where MC asks him what he does. He doesn't idly whittle during their journey and charms only come to play in an offhanded reference during reversed ending.

The other two are also ignored but I will touch on Lucio later on.

Why do these matter? A few abandoned plot points don't make or break the story but on a grander level it hinders the audience investment. When we read, we like to think the details we notice will come to play eventually, we like recognizing references that were introduced earlier. I'm sure I don't need to give examples on this one, I don't think anyone will disagree.

2. Themes. Thematic influences this story utilized are all over the place, and it seems to me like it stems from the improper application of certain tropes;

The Hero's Journey

Home Sweet Home

Shell-Shocked Vet

Last of His Kind

etc.

Some of these tropes tackle themes such as;

Slavery

PTSD

Survivor's Guilt

Genocide

I'm not going to try to explain How to Write any of these topics. I'm not remotely qualified. I think it's better if I just give examples from popular media because whether you know how to write it or not, you can still understand when it's written well;

AtLA deals with genocide and survivor's guilt. It's in the name; The Last Airbender. Aang is the sole survivor of a culture he'd only had an opportunity to engage in for a handful of years. He left them with a childish tantrum and now they're gone forever. I can't think of another mainstream series that shows the gruesome reality of war and genocide better than this one.

When Muriel realizes his true heritage and loses Khamgalai is the point of the story where Luke sees his family's farm burned down, Aang goes back to the air temple, Treebeard walks in on the demolished part of the forest. (The inciting incident)

(Could also have been forest spirit’s death but it was too early in the story so I don’t consider it a missed opportunity.)

Up until this point the hero has their doubts, they're going through the motions but they are either underestimating the enemy or they're a passive protagonist. Either way, this is the point where the hero has to take the reins of the story. What purpose does this serve in Muriel's route instead? It simply validates Muriel's beliefs. He's useless, he isn't strong enough. We as the reader need a point to see where the hero takes a step to drive the story forward or whoever takes that step will steal the spotlight, it will be their story. As it is, this is the point where it ceases to be Muriel’s story.

PTSD got the worst end of the deal. Since Dragon Age fandom has a huge overlap with the Arcana I will use Fenris as an example; for those who are unfamiliar with the character, Fenris is an escaped slave. After the sex scene he vividly describes an experience that most people can easily identify as a flashback. The game never tells us that he was abused, it doesn’t show us him having a panic attack but it shows us that whatever transpired between him and the player character clearly triggered an unpleasant memory.

Arcana tries and initially succeeds to do something similar. We see that the character is untrustworthy, sensitive to touch, easily agitated, can’t sleep outside of his perceived safe environment… It introduces us the cause later on and the story has two options, each will drastically change the moral of the story:

Remember these as they will be important later on

Portray Muriel fighting as a bad thing; You can’t fight violence with violence angle or the fact that the villain’s forcing him into a situation where he’ll have to fight again makes the villain all the more intimidating.

Portray Muriel fighting as a good thing; He has the means to defeat the villain and he just needs encouragement. With great power comes great responsibility. By not fighting he willingly condemns everyone to an awful fate and that he is selfish.

I’d like to take a second to explore the 1. Option, I feel like the game may have intended to implement that idea but failed because of the implementation of Morga and choices presented for the player character: Morga is an Old-Soldier, these characters are often push the hero out of their comfort zone in an aggressive way towards complacency, they are a narrative foil to the mentor. For the first option to work the story had to show Khamgalai acting as a mentor and having the protagonists challenge Morga’s teachings(see Ozai-Iroh). As it is, Morga’s actions are never put under scrutiny (narratively) and her death feels hollow as a result. She didn’t sacrifice herself for the heroes due to her guilt, she died because she felt a moment of sympathy for her son which wasn’t explored before, she showed no intention to change nor any doubt.

It is clear the game choose 2. Option, it is a controversial choice given Muriel’s mental condition and the game is acutely aware of this, which is likely why Muriel’s PTSD will get carefully scraped from the story from here on out. (I won’t address other instances where his trauma wasn’t taken into account, I feel like this explanation should cover them as well.)

3. Morals. Every story, whether the author intends it or not, has a moral. The Villain most often acts against that moral and in turn can change the hero's perspective. Morals are not ideals; the morality of Killmonger isn’t that marginalised people should fight for their rights, it is that vengeance is just. Whether it’s right or wrong can be debated but what makes an ideal the moral of the story is in the portrayal. How the narrator depicts the events, how people around the heroes react... all are a part of portrayal.

The story choosing “Muriel fighting is a good thing” earlier puts in the foundation of a moral. The story tells us Muriel has to fight, it’s the right thing to do. He has to be brave for the people he loves.

This choice affects how his past actions will be perceived; now, him escaping the arena to save himself is cowardly, abandoning Morga is cowardly.

The story tells us it wasn’t, but shows us that it was. This is the end of the midpoint of the story, at this point we need to have a good grasp on what we should perceive as wrong or right for us to feel invested. If we zig-zag between the morals we won’t know which actions we should root for. But more than that, the conclusion will not feel cathartic as it will inevitably demonstrate the opposing ideals clashing at its climax.

Villain doesn't necessarily have to be sympathetic and Muriel's route makes no effort to make him as such, but they need to be understandable. What danger does Lucio pose to the status quo, what makes him a compelling villain? Whether he conquers Vesuvia or not doesn’t drastically affect Muriel’s way of life, he’s been in hiding for years. He doesn’t threaten to steal MC’s body, Muriel is not compelled to pick up arms to save his beloved. He wants to protect the people from going through what he’s been through, right? That is what the story wants us to think. But what has he been through? Fighting was his choice, Lucio tricked him into it. Lucio later tricked Morga, his own mother, to save his own hide. This tells us that Lucio is a manipulator, but he doesn’t manipulate his way into Vesuvia, he barges in with deus ex machina monsters. He doesn’t demonstrate his skills as a tactician by making deals with neighbouring kingdoms to get their armies. We don’t know his strengths therefore we don’t know his weaknesses. If he seems to be losing he can just conjure a giant dragon to burn everything down, we just can’t know. That is why the application of deus ex machina is highly taboo, the victories don’t feel earned and defeats feel unfair.

4. Tone. Playing with the genre is not uncommon and a game such as Arcana has many opportunities to do so. It is a romance story, everything else is the back-drop. The tone works best when its overall consistent but tonal changes act as shock for the audience to keep them engaged and keeping one tone indefinitely gets us desensitized. We can’t feel constant misery if we are not made to feel tinges of hope in between. Good examples of dramatic tonal change (that I can think of): Mulan - arriving at the decimated village, La Vita e Bella - the father’s death, M*A*S*H - death of Hawkeye’s friend. Two of these examples are mostly comedy which is why this tonal shift affects us so, it was all fun and games until we are slapped in the face with the war going on. There are no one liners in those scenes, the story takes a moment to show appropriate respect to the dead, it gives its characters time to digest and come to terms with loss. Bad examples are the majority of Marvel movies.

In Muriel’s route there’s never such a thing, Muriel has a panic attack and MC kisses him. This unintentionally tells us, the genre being romance, that the panic attack only served to further MC’s advances. It tells us that he’s never had the control of his life and it’s yet again stripped from him by the decisions of player character. This is not the only instance this happens. The story shoe-horns in multiple cuddle sessions between important plot beats. And it does the exact opposite during a moment where he is having a heart-to-heart with the person he loves by having the ghost of Morga appear to give an ominous warning/advice.

When he runs off during masquerade it’s built up to be an important plot point. Muriel will finally face his past, he’s been running away from it all along, and he will have an opportunity to be accepted back in. MC is supportive but ultimately, it’s meant to be Muriel's moment. But as I mentioned above this is not his story anymore so he’s not given any time to address his problems, instead a ghost appears to tell him what he needs to do, again. Because we need to wrap the story up, we don’t have time.

Remember how I said the 2 Options will be important later on, well here we are at the very end. Upright and reversed.

“Portray Muriel fighting as a bad thing”

This suggests that the triumph of Muriel won’t be through violence. Maybe he will outsmart Lucio in a different way, he won’t play his games anymore. This option suggests that Lucio will not be beaten by his own terms.

“Portray Muriel fighting as a good thing”

This option concludes with Muriel finally overcoming his reservations on violence and doing what's right to save the people he loves. And bringing justice to people who Lucio hurt.

If you are wondering why the upright ending feels random, this is likely why. The ending plays out as if the story was building on the 1st option while we spent chapters upon chapters playing out the 2nd one. It is unearned.

(The reversed ending, being reversed, also uses Option 1 path but in which Muriel can’t achieve his narrative conclusion)

The Coliseum is filled with people who are on their side against Lucio’s shadow goons. Because we can’t have people being on Lucio’s side without addressing the duality of human nature, even though it’s an important part of Muriel’s story. The people who watched and enjoyed Lucio’s bloodsport are no more, they are all new and enlightened offscreen. We completely skipped the part where Vesuvia comes to terms with its own complacency and Muriel simply feels at ease because the crowd is cheering on him now. This is what happens when you give the character a chance to challenge those who have been complicit in his abuse (masquerade scene) and completely skip it to move the story along.

Muriel doesn't get justice, ever. The people only love him now because he's fighting for them instead of his own survival. Morga or her clan doesn't answer for the massacre of Kokhuri, Vesuvia doesn't answer for the sick entertainment they indulged in and Lucio doesn't answer for Muriel's enslavement. It is not even acknowledged, nowhere in the story (except the very end of reversed ending, and even then it almost gets him killed so its clearly the wrong thing to do on his part) is a choice presented where Muriel has an opportunity to get any sort of compensation where he instead chooses to move on.

I don’t intend to straw man anyone but this is a sentiment I’ve seen a lot; “It’s a short story, a dating-sim, what do you expect?”

I expect nothing, I’m simply explaining why some people feel how they feel. It is a short dating-sim but it seems to me like it was aiming to be something more by borrowing elements that were clearly far above their weight range to tease something more and under deliver. It is okay to feel content with the story, and it’s okay to feel let down. If we had a unanimous decision on literature we would never be inclined to write our own stories.

[andvys]

I don’t wanna be your friend

You never believed in love or at least you didn’t believe in it when it came to you, you didn’t think you were worth being loved and you didn’t think you deserve it not after everything that you have done to survive.

After all you have been through could you still believe that there is something good in this world like love?

You had no faith in that but that changed when you came to Jackson and you met the pretty green eyed girl. Ellie Williams. She made you feel like you were worth being loved, like you actually deserve feeling like this even if it’s just platonically (that’s what you thought it was, at least from her side). She made you forget about all the bad things that you’ve been through. There was no weight on your shoulders when you were with Ellie.

You never thought you’d experience these types of feelings. You’ve read a lot of romance novels and as interesting as they are you always thought they were a little too cliche, the way people fall in love with each other or the way one talks about the other. You used to cringe at them but now you feel like one of the characters of the many books you’ve read that have fallen in love with someone and would take forever to confess their feelings to their crush. You’re annoyed at yourself and your feelings, why does it have to be Ellie? She’s your best friend and you’re pretty convinced she’s not into you and you would never ruin your friendship with her because of your stupid feelings, you’d rather stay miserable forever and love her from afar than ruin any chances at having her in your life.

But what you don’t know is that Ellie feels the same way about you. She loves you and she loved you right from the start, when she first saw you she felt like time stopped and she was staring at you in awe. Your pretty (e/c) eyes trained on her and a shy smile appeared on your face, Jesse was showing you around in Jackson, he was talking your ear off or at least that’s what it looked like to Ellie. Ellie being so in trance with your beauty, she didn’t realize you and Jesse were walking towards her. Jesse was trying to catch her attention but she was still staring at you. To her you were the most beautiful girl she has ever seen in her life and it made her nervous, was that what love at first sight feels like? Ellie was pretty convinced that it was.

“Hello, earth to Ellie” Jesse waved his hand in front of her face, she realized she was shamelessly staring at you while Jesse was trying to catch her attention for at least a whole minute. She noticed your flushed cheeks, you were looking down, probably nervous because of her staring. She thought you looked adorable with that blush on your face.

“Oh sorry guys, how’s it going?” She was really trying to act cool in front of you even though she felt anything but cool in that moment. Jesse noticed her checking you out and smirked to himself “Ellie this is (y/n), (y/n) this is Ellie. (Y/n) arrived here yesterday, I was just showing her around, we’re about halfway done but I have to go see Tommy, maybe you could show her the rest?”

Ellie knew what Jesse was doing, he did not have to go meet Tommy he was teasing her because he catched her staring at you. He was going to pay for this, later.

“Umm sure, yeah I can do that”, Jesse winked at Ellie which made her glare at him.

“Alright I better get going, don’t want to make Tommy wait, it was nice meeting you (y/n), I better see you around!”. You smiled at him, you liked Jesse he seemed like he was going to be a good friend. “Sure and thanks for the tour!”. And with that Jesse was gone and Ellie was left alone with you.

“Alright, shall we?” She was trying to avoid your eyes, she was embarrassed about Jesse and you catching her staring and checking you out earlier.

You were quite, she glanced at you and noticed that you were the one doing the staring now.

Ellie smirked to herself, “(y/n)?”.

“Oh yeah, let’s go”, you gave her a sweet smile, one that made Ellie feel weak in the knees.

Catching herself staring at you again, she tried to play it cool and act like she didn’t just do that again. “Yeah let’s go”.

This was the beginning of your beautiful friendship. Everything you did, you did together.

You were always assigned for patrols together. You’d hang out together as much as you could. She’d play guitar and sing for you. You’d write poems for her and she would make cute little drawings of you.

You had regular movie nights that’d turn into sleepovers because Ellie always (purposely) choose scary movies to watch, ones that made you feel so scared that you’d always end up cuddled in Ellie’s arms. You felt safe wrapped in her arms and Ellie loved having you cling to her.

She’d lovingly look down on you and admire your beautiful face. She was so in love with you.

Whenever you would sleep over you’d be the first to wake up, you’d trace her tattoo and count the many freckles on her face and lovingly watch her sleep. The love you felt for this girl was out of this world, you would do anything for her.

And she would do anything for you.

Everyone else could see how much you two loved each other everyone except for the both of you it seemed.

All Ellie wanted to do was just grab your face, kiss you and confess her undying love for you but she was pretty convinced that you didn’t like her this way. Sure you would cuddle and sleep in her arms but that’s just what best friends do right?

Ellie was pretty sure she would die alone because she just wants you but you probably don’t want her or do you? She has never seen you flirt with anyone. She has never seen you be interested in someone. You were always with her, you gave her all of your attention and you’d always make sure she has eaten enough. You’d bring her gifts back whenever you weren’t on patrol together. Is that really what best friends do? Or is there a slight chance that you could feel the same about Ellie as she feels about you?

She decides to take a chance and confess her feelings for you.

Ellie grabs her coat and leaves her shed, on the way to your house she thinks about how she’s going to do it. How do you tell your best friend that you have fallen in love with them?

She arrived at your house way quicker than she wanted to. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on your door. With a racing heart she waited for you to open the door.

You open the door and your face immediately lights up seeing her standing there. Ellie looked nervous “hey el, come in. I actually just wanted to come over.” You smiled at her. Ellie walked in, your smile making her feel a little less nervous.

She sat down on your sofa, you sat down next to her.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something” she took your hand in hers. You realized she was anxious about something and that made you worry for the girl. You noticed whatever she was about to tell you made her feel scared about your reaction. “What’s going on El? You know you can talk to me”.

“I love you, (y/n).” She blurted out. This is not how she wanted to do it. She mentally slapped herself. But she was way too nervous to actually form any sentences. This was the only way to do it.

“I love you too, Ellie” you were a little confused as to why she was telling you this, you constantly told each other how much you loved each other.

“No (y/n)... I.. not like this, I love you like I am in love with you and I’ve been in love with you forever.”

You stared at her, your big (e/c) eyes looking into her beautiful green eyes. You were shocked not knowing what to say, how? Ellie is in love with you? Like you are in love with her? This can’t be real. It’s just to good to be true.

The silence was killing Ellie. She immediately regretted confessing her love for you, she felt like she messed everything up. “Please say something”. You stayed quiet, too shocked about her confession. Was this actually happening?

“Shit (y/n)... I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything” Ellie got up wanting to leave your house as quickly as possible.

You got out of your trance like state and grabbed Ellie’s hand turning her around “I’m in love with you too Ellie” pressing your lips against hers she let out a gasp, wide eyed watching you she realized she’s not kissing you back, closing her eyes she grabbed your face and pulled you closer, passionately kissing you. This was all she ever dreamed off, no it was even better than that.

Pulling away from the kiss you looked into each other’s eyes and smiled at each other, going in for another kiss. Your hands caressing her waist, you pulled her even closer, if that was even possible.

She gently stroked your cheek with her thumb and smiled into the kiss.

You pulled away from her and opened your eyes and looked at her with loving eyes, seeing her look at you just the same. “This kiss was even better than how it’s described in the books”.

“You’re such a dork”. She laughed at you and kissed your forehead. “Yeah but I’m your dork”.

You hugged her, laying your head on her chest.

She held you tight, “yeah you’re my dork, I love you”.

“And I love you, El”.

She felt so happy to hear you saying those words knowing they aren’t meant in a platonic way. She was happy she took a chance and decided to confess her feelings for you. Hearing you say you’re in love with her, is the best feeling in the world. Knowing that the girl she’s in love with, is in love with her too could make her cry happy tears. She could finally kiss you and be able to call you her girl.

She’s yours and you are hers.

[thebibliosphere]

[ID: a gif of John Oliver the comedian splaying his hands wide and saying, “Welcome to whatever this is…”]

Hello! My name is Joy Demorra, I’m an official 2x International Best Selling Author, Vampire Romancer and Shitpost Producer Extraordinaire, and yes, I am the vampire nipple erotica editor who just wants to rest , thanks for asking!

You may know me from such posts as the infamous Crucifix Nail Nipples (x), Robin Williams Punching Death Eaters Dream (x) or one of my many, many, many vampire shitposts, chronic illness/advocacy posts, or my ADHD posts. However you found me, I hope you enjoy your time here. Please have patience if you are sending me messages either here or somewhere else on the Internet. I am but a humble smut peddler, peddling my weres. I am also multiply disabled with at least one genetic disability and several chronic illnesses and mental health issues that make keeping up with a high traffic blog very difficult. I never expected to become a hub for shitposts and chronic illness/ADHD resources, but here we are!

If you ever get tired of seeing my personal health posts, you may wish to blacklist the following tags: ‘#chronic health tag’ & ‘#chronic health tag: teeth’, that way I can bitch and moan into the void and you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to.

Due to Tumblr successfully tricking me into becoming a professional author, I have several hundred ongoing projects at once, most of them vampire themed. 

My international best selling debut novel, Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites is available for purchase on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, Barnes & Noble and several other places still updating as I type. It was supposed to be a short paranormal polyamorous satirical romance featuring a vampire, a werewolf and all other manner of creatures that go bump in the night, but has since morphed into a paranormal polyamorous gaslamp fantasy romance series with potentially 5-6 books planned. Don’t ask how, I do not know. Also yes, ha ha, I’m so bisexual I couldn’t even pick a genre. 

The series follows the antics of three main characters, a disabled and partially deaf werewolf known as Nathan Northland, a 400yo mad-scientist-dandy-styled vampire named Vlad Blutstein, and Ursula, who goes only by the mysterious moniker, The Lady Ursula. It’s set in a pseudo-regency-steampunkish gaslamp era, and the characters inhabit a world much like our own, excepting of course the fantastical ideas of magic being real, vampires living among us, and government bodies being held accountable for their actions.

The book will also be available in paperback, and will also come in two editions: one with the sex scenes for those who like a little bite with their fangs, and one without, for those who like a little bit more fluff. Links coming soon! There’s also already a fandom tag, which is #Phangs and #Phangdom and because I’m a weak creature and easily lead, AU fanfic on my Ao3 under original works, most of which is Adult 18+ in nature.

You can read more about my other ongoing works by clicking on my blog Welcome Page (x), and also at www.joydemorra.com for any upcoming news and announcements. Alternatively you can subscribe to my Newsletter (x) which I do promise I’ll update soon.

Given the nature of my work, if you are under the age of 18, I do ask that you respect my boundaries and refrain from interacting with anything on my blog that is labelled 18+

I try very hard to keep my blog as safe for everyone as I can and respect your boundaries. No mean feat when you’re known across the Internet as “the crucifix vampire nipple lady” :P

If you need me to tag something for trigger purposes, no matter how silly you think I might think it is, please let me know, I will be more than happy to do so. Also while I do try very hard to be conscientious of the things I do and say, sometimes I will inevitably make mistakes or misspeak, and it is important to me that it be brought to my attention so I might correct my behavior and apologize. So please don’t be afraid to tell me when I’ve got my head up my ass. I make no pretenses at being a good person. I’m just trying my damnedest not to be an awful one.

Other places you can find me on the Internet include:

Patreon! (x) where things are about to get a drastic shake up.

Twitter (x) where I occasioanlly yell at clouds and retweet all the funny and poignant things you lot say.

Facebook (x) where I mostly hide and don’t interact with anyone because it’s Facebook, but will be more active once book stuff starts going live.

Twitch (x) where I occasionally stream surviving the apocalypse in the frostbitten world of Frostpunk.

Ao3 (x) where I post my fanfic, sometimes even of my own work because I am weak-willed and easily led astray.

I also have a Ko-fi (x) where I cross post my Patreon work for anyone who doesn’t like Patreon. It also functions are my general tip jar, so if you like what I do here and would like to help me keep doing it, tips are deeply appreciated though by no means expected. I do what I do on tumblr primarily for love, and I’ll keep doing it for as long as I can, for as long as I’m capable.

Thank you for reading this far, and remember, take care of yourselves and each other. You’re more important than you’ll ever truly know. 

[mprosperossprite]

I just finished my first novel length fanfic!! How did that happen? I'm still a little bit in awe of myself and very very proud. I've been thinking about how I got to this point and I want to share what I learned while writing it, because writing can be a solitary, independent activity, but it doesn't have to be. So, in case this is useful to any other fic writers out there...

Three Things I Learned While Writing My First Novel Length Fanfic:

1. “Write for yourself” is bullshit advice in an ecosystem driven by sharing

I started writing my novel-length fic, Bring the World Back Into Tune, in November 2020. Four or five chapters into posting it, I almost abandoned the project all together. Why? Because I felt “nobody” was reading it. The Old Guard fandom is dominated by Joe/Nicky content. There are so many reasons to love Joe and Nicky and their relationship, but compared to my Joe/Nicky fic, Bring the World Back Into Tune (btwbit, hereafter) was getting a miniscule number of hits and comments and kudos. And I thought it was a better crafted story than anything else I’d shared at that point! I wanted to tell this story, but I also wanted to share this story, and those are related but distinct.

Fandom is an ecosystem built on sharing. These days, Archive of Our Own has given fandoms a safe place to host creations. Tumblr is a platform designed to promote engagement by sharing and re-sharing content. Discord is a platform designed for discussion. I am not a fandom old, so I can’t speak to this personally, but the folks who were creating and mailing physical zines? That was also an ecosystem of sharing, the internet has just expedites the time frame. Fandom is about sharing, not about creating.

I didn’t quit writing btwbit because there were people who told me they were enjoying reading it, because I had a handful of people who were commenting on each chapter. I realized that “write for yourself” was bullshit because I was already writing for an audience. Maybe it wasn’t the audience that I’d dreamed of, or as big an audience as I’d hoped, but I realized that internet fandom had given me an audience and so I started writing for them. Each chapter was a gift to the folks who were reading the story. Framing why I was working on this huge, sprawling fic in this way helped keep me motivated to finish it.

I also realized that audience and community are related. The more people I got to know by being present in fandom spaces -- in AO3 comments, in tumblr group chats, in discord servers -- the more people I got invested in the fic because they liked me, not necessarily the ship or the premise. Part of finding my audience ended up being building it, and that too contributed to my enjoyment of writing the story.

2. Beta readers are the best thing you can do for a fic

I think I may have said this in every single author’s note, but btwbit would be a very different and much worse fic if it weren’t for marbletopempire’s beta work.

I didn’t start out with a beta because I’ve a degree in English literature, damnnit, and I’ve got confidence in my ability to craft a story. I am also a damn good beta reader myself and I know that beta reading is a relationship built upon trust. When I started writing btwbit, there wasn’t anyone I trusted with it.

Marble became my beta because I began beta-ing for her. And I began betaing for marble because I was commenting on every chapter of her fic. I found her because I was engaging with the fandom. I was willing to let her into the writing process for btwbit because I had gotten to know her as a writer and a friend.

There were a couple of pivotal moments when marble gave me notes that came down to “would your characters really do that?” and every single time the answer was “no, they wouldn’t.” Sometimes this made the story longer. Sometimes this was a reminder that btwbit was not every Book of Nile story, it was my Book of Nile story, and, ultimately, a romance.

Also, find people to help you get the details right. Sometimes research is enough, but sometimes a conversation with a person who has experiences different than your own that might help you bring realism and nuance to your characters is transformative. @nevermindirah helped me out a couple of times and their insights helped shape and define a couple of pivotal moments of the fic (and I learned stuff that didn’t make it directly into the fic, too).

3. The hardest things to write are often the most rewarding

Mostly I’m talking about writing smut.

But, yeah, sometimes writing is hard, but with a community and audience by your side, it is very very worth it.

[ugh-againwiththenames]

So Many Fanfics So Little Time

This is just my list, I have seen so many (but if you want to use it it’s all yours too!).  I’m not a writer.  But I am a hell of a reader. Voracious one might argue. I just wanted to track my progress through the weeds of the absolutely never ending supply of Destiel and Cockles fanfic. 

Read on if you want to see what I’ve read, and what I’ve thought. I am but one person with opinions - some of them may be unpopular - some of them you might agree with, but if you find something you haven’t read here, I encourage you to do so. 

Honestly, this is just so I can track what I have read already, and when my friends ask, I can reference something easily. I have found some different fics on all kinds of ‘best of’ lists all over the interwebs. And I love recs - so rec away friends. 

As someone who reads a solid 40 novels a year typically, I don’t come by the “I read a lot” innocently. I do actually read a LOT.  When not reading fanfic (a new obsession, all things being fair), I usually read a lot of Fantasy/high fantasy, romance/erotica, and or YA (yeah, that was a bit of a ride no?).  So from this one might digress that I like fluffy, cute stories, complicated and supernatural/paranormal type stories, and I sure do not shy away from violence or smut (or maybe violence with smut? *smirk*). 

I have read all of these in the last 2-3 months (I will continue to add as I go). I had never read a fanfic until 2-3 months ago.  A lot of these wonderful people are on here, and I mean you no offence by not directly tagging you - I’m still learning how to actually properly use this site. Links to AO3 are included (and I love you all). 

These aren’t necessarily in any real order - I did read T&S first, followed by 91W, and 4LW...after that it’s just a shit show of Long or Short, Destiel or Cockles - smorgasbord. Some of these are the most popular Fics out there, and others I’ve never seen recc’d anywhere (just sort of accidentally happened upon them).  So let’s get to it, shall we? 

Twist and Shout - ok look. I understand the stigma associated with this one, but it was the FIRST one I read. It was the ball that shot me down the hill, and I haven’t stopped since. So. I loved it. I CRIED like a baby. SOBBED. It was not the quality of the writing but the way the story was developed and delivered. I have Never Cried Like This Reading a Story IN MY LIFE. It’s a rite of passage. Read It and have an opinion - it doesn’t need to be mine.  

Author(s): gabriel, standbyme   https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955188

Ninety-One Whiskey - aka 91W, it is mentioned so much, and is SO worth the read.  I continued my dive into the war fics (not typically my bag really and here I was reading 2 in a row).  There are a couple of followup stories as well to this series (and yes, I’ve read them all).  Although I’ll say that the original is my favourite. I often got lost in a bit of the War/Tactical descriptions, but would recommend it to anyone anyway. Ugh...the “stolen moments”...they were at the same time tragic and the most amazing things ever.  You feel me? no? go read it. 

Author:  komodobits   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362190/chapters/5214500

Four Letter Word for Intercourse - aka 4LW.  OMG just, OMG. I loved this story. I loved it so much. I think I read it in a day.  Devoured it. It’s so HOT. Just read it. If you haven’t you’re missing out.  LEMME AT IT. I loved “knowing the secret”, and had some major anxiety about that realization dawning (I had to take a breath, and be like, no, no, this is gonna be a mess, but it’s gonna be SO GOOD - I was not disappointed).  There’s more than one work here too - read them all. PLEASE. 

Author: bendingsignpost  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086839/chapters/37568591

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) - This was the first Sobs one I read, but it sent me on a spree.  this is the Memory Loss one.  I have one piece of advice here - read everything by Sobsicles. You can thank me later...just go to her page, and fucking sort to supernatural (or not, read it all!) I’d list them but I’d fucking seriously be here all day.  Also, her tags make me laugh so hard.

Author:  sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Orpheus - I love this one too, Tattooed!Cas, my LOVE. paired with Mechanic!Dean, my HEART, #help.  Read this one in one evening as well. (I was on a roll).  It’s a one night stand that turns into more (much like my last relationship)....hmm...maybe this is why I was pulled in - although to be fair that is the last similarity to my shitty love life! I do not remember how I stumbled onto this one (tattooed Cas may have been the draw...tbh). Read the warnings though, there is some triggering stuff in this one - but if you can handle it, it’s definitely worth the read. 

Author: sysrae       https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364347/chapters/5220227

Have Love, Will Travel - Can you say no to Stripper!Dean? Cause I sure as hell cannot. Typical sort of character development here with Dean having trust issues, and Cas being painfully awkward...(but in like a super cute way?).  Would Recommend. 

Author: squeemonster   https://archiveofourown.org/works/565455/chapters/1011747

The Inexhaustible Silence of Houses - Change of pace here...It’s got a nice twist.  I didn’t actually clue into how it was going to end until very near the end (maybe I was being oblivious), when the realization came over me and I was...man. I was DONE IN.  I hope that doesn’t spoil (I need some kind of way of remembering them). Voiceless!Cas Hunter!Dean

Author: Askance (doomcountry)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Adagio - This is super short, and super cute. Honestly, I would read the whole thing just for the last line. It’ll take you less than an hour if I remember correctly. Go, I’ll wait. I squeeed. did you? 

Author: noangelsinthegarrison   https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397248/chapters/2928145

Any Little Heartache - super easy read (not in a bad way, but in a ‘you’ll fly through it’ way).  It’s mid-length, not graphic, but really fun hospital AU. HeartSurgeon!Dean / Nurse!Cas - enemies to lovers anyone? Fuck you to Fuck me? yeah. YUM. 

Author: followthattardis https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143376/chapters/11838311

Ad Astra - This is another short(ish) one, just one chapter.  And by that I mean that this is written like a very long poem. Cas as a star who has visited Dean many times over the years of his life, that culminates in 4x01 barn scene. It’s ‘awe’ sad. ‘puppy dog eyes’ sad. The writing format took me a bit to understand what was happening - it’s my lack of poetry knowledge, not the writing.  

Author: nhixxie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013491

Ad Astra Per Aspera - This is a cute story.  ESL writer, no judgement.  I found this while looking for the one above, and thought the premise looked cute - and it was. Misunderstanding leading to Dean realizing he’s actually Bi.  Miscommunication leading to realization.  

Author: Riverchester https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354336/chapters/28101816

Psalm 40:2 - Time travel post-canon Cas and Pre-series Dean.  If you’re wondering how that works, strap in for this ride, it’s well worth it. 

Author: unicornpoe https://archiveofourown.org/works/30786425/chapters/75992444

Addicted to You - Warlock!Dean/Incubus!Cas - accidental ‘mating’ (I actually really don’t like that word, but there’s sort of no avoiding it in this situation). Cute story.  When you drunk dial a succubus and get an incubus instead...Whatever will we do? 

Author: Ltleflrt https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387346/chapters/9959288 

A Glimpse Beyond - End Fix-it. Not yet complete, 10 chapters so far...I want MORE! Reliving memories Dean/Cas & Sam/Eileen.   

Author: NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731689/chapters/67875925

Cas-ti-el - Please I want more...It’s like the story just started. Please write more of this story!! 1 chapter, it’s a trope prompt challenge, but I want it to be a full on story of its own. Imprinted names of their soul mates, Dean doesn’t understand his (because it’s in a different language)...I’m frustrated by wanting this story to keep going. 

Author:  Valinde (Valyria)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941591

Our Bodies, Posessed by Light - another short one. Not going to lie, this one took a little getting used to, and I can’t say that I enjoyed it too much for the sole purpose that the premise gave me the willies.  Cas has to vessel jump - ends up in Sam...I got through it, it had a good ending, but yeah, sorry. This just wasn’t for me. 

Author:  obstinatrix  https://archiveofourown.org/works/260289

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Wedding Cake - Waiter!Dean / Writer!Cas - This is so effing cute, just misunderstanding after misunderstanding bumbling around like the couple of dorks that they are. It’s only one chapter. 100% would recommend. 

Author:  Sparseparsley https://archiveofourown.org/works/223962

Destiel, Actually - This is another super cute story, 5 chapters. Gabriel playing a singular role in putting Dean and Cas in awkward positions to push them together.  I fucking DIED at “oh, I am the sub” - needs context, but I guarantee you that you’ll laugh out loud...

Author:  Bexism  https://archiveofourown.org/works/399934/chapters/658398

The Smell Before the Rain - This was my first A/B/O - a big apology to all those who are into mpreg and whatnot, this was my lesson that I am not. this was not for me. Also - I’m a firm Cas (Alpha/Dom) believer, and i’m good with switch Cas, but it’s hard for me to take him being the full Omega here, when paired with the rest I just couldn’t do it. I finished it, but, not my thing. I know now. 

Author: jscribbles https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355230/chapters/53406127

Crazy Diamonds - This is another short one, only 3 chapters - it’s a body swap for Dean, 4x02 him and 2018 him swap places (assumption that 2018 him is “with” Cas).  It’s a super cute little story. 

Author:  pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151642/chapters/37738631

The Breath of All Things - Wheelchair!Dean / Volunteer!Cas.  This is a lovely story, typical Dean self-hatred etc. Triggering for those with suicide warnings. It had me in tears at the end. There’s a really spectacular quote near the end that I found so romantic I screen grabbed it. 

Author:  KismetJeska https://archiveofourown.org/works/994750/chapters/1967519

Kind of a Forever Deal - SummerCamp!AU This is just a really cute and fluffy summer camp AU.  Which is so different from 91W (That’s right, check the author)! I was a little disappointed with the ending, but otherwise really enjoyed this all the way through and was loving all the discovery and young characterizations of all the characters. 

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/999291/chapters/1978478

Everytown, USA - Best way I can break this one down? Wanderer!Dean (listless and without a place in the world, he ends up in a small town...), Twin!Cas (that leads to some fun things). There are a number of points where you’re gonna yell at Dean for doing stupid shit (that are very much in character for him to do), you think, well, yes, obviously you’re going to do that you silly fucking boy [affectionate]; but whyyy? (but we know). 

Author: aileenrose https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797559/chapters/3854836

Chalk and Chainmail - HighSchool!AU, Cas is an artist, Dean LARP’s - it’s cute and angsty. 

Author:  lemonsorbae https://archiveofourown.org/works/804704/chapters/1517551

A Little Patience - Ok. you want smut? This is your story. You want Kink? This is your story.  I actually did not finish this. It got a little carried away in my opinion. It was VERY panty kink oriented (which, while essentially canon isn’t really my kink) so, if you want that Panty Kink on full display? Go forth and enjoy! it  is thirty something chapters, I got to the mid-twenties I Think. 

Author: riseofthefallenone https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750058/chapters/3739232

Control - I REALLY ENJOYED THIS. Which is saying a lot for someone who has already admitted that a Subby Cas isn’t really my HC - so to so thoroughly enjoy a Sub!Cas story? (maybe it’s the tattooes...*wink*). It’s an AU where Cas is the head of a company - Dean is a callboy I guess, for lack of a better term. Just read it.

Author: dothraki_shieldmaiden  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31156601/chapters/76993217

More (I copy pasted the next lot from my google doc, I’ll flush them out later - no i wont...)

Teach Me (short) - movie night in the bunker, things get a little carried away   Author:  Chiyume  https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961327

You Light the Spark (in my bonfire heart) (short) - when cas doesn't realize that dean is unaware of his feelings, super short, super cute                      Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193910 

Communication Breakdown (short/cockles) - dean ends up in Jensen's head while he films the confession scene, no sexual content Author: jujubiest   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Look What You Made Me Do (short/cockles) -      -  Vegas Con 2020 / jensen comes out with a song     - cute short - no sexual content Author:  green_blue_heller https://archiveofourown.org/works/30251592 Full House (short/cockles) - reimagined version of the rented house story - putting it in order (so to speak). funny / cute / fluffy not explicit   Author: n_nami  https://archiveofourown.org/works/30855827

Cyber Sex (short/cockles) - anastiel https://archiveofourown.org/works/31467086      - shameless post GISH Fest zoom call porn      - Short (very short)

It's Complicated (cockles) - gail_morgan https://archiveofourown.org/works/31434938/chapters/77747519       The GISHtake (short/cockles) - MellyCrazyCoconut https://archiveofourown.org/works/31508099     - cute short post GISH zoom     - oops "babe, really?"  

(10.02.2021 updated) Since last update: New reads - Fuck i’m gonna be here all day - there’s not gonna be as much gonna be NO detail in these breakdowns...sorry! This has now just become a “what i’ve read list” as opposed to a Rec list...

Love, All Alike (Pt. 1 Love, All Alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4555599/chapters/10370646                             - Though The Stars Walk Backward (pt 2 Love, All alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves

And this, your living kiss - opal_bullets   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083927/chapters/42744872

Come On, Let's Strike a Match (Domination and Submission: a love story pt 1) - anyrei & queerwerewolf ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722478/chapters/62458810    - Playing With Fire (D&S: a love story pt 2)    - We Kiss and the Flames Get Higher (D&S: a love story pt 3)     - Sparking That Old Flame (D&S: a love story pt 4) 

Cinderwings - bendingsignpost Cinderella!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847041/chapters/29336421

Linden - fleeceframe Swan!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33126730/chapters/82236118

No Netflix, No Chill (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764966

Can't Drink You Away (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785792 

Jensen Totally (Does Not!) Snore (short RPF) - Dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30315717

Dean Ships It (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30349434

All about control - wingless   https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151930/chapters/20791243

Aesthetics in Autoerotica (pt 1 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885544                                                             - The Ties that Bind (pt 2 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant

Let's take a drive - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32581027/chapters/80819581 

Enchanted ink - castielslostwings TattooArtist!Dean TattooArtist!Castiel AU ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043622/chapters/55109530

The bones beneath our skin - darknessbound   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633754/chapters/59515804

The Plot (RPF) - Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795588/chapters/6274970

The Gentle Force with which you Take Me (RPF) - Phoenix_Ascended   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32110120/chapters/79549183

According to all known laws of Life (Pt. 1 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207901                                                          - and he's back (with a mind of his own) (pt. 2 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles

Six hundred sundays (and many more) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31158776

Aching in the Absence of you - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31832977/chapters/78811378

gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable) (Short) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32203291

memories bring back memories (bring back you) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Dream Come True (short) - bendingsignpost   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071159

tall grass - aeli_kindara   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127040/chapters/30030726

asunder (Short) - rageprufrock https://archiveofourown.org/works/62115

Apheresis - bendingsignpost BloodDonor!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32674783/chapters/81056680

we always were but never knew it - frightfullyrude   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32698324/chapters/81119503

In this Louisiana Bar (Short) - fleeceframe   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31764487

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Universes - n_nami   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32687929/chapters/81092785

my heart a compass - lagaudiere https://archiveofourown.org/works/28629951

Unsound Inverses - sp8ce (not complete)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29836881/chapters/73413300

The Jensen Mistake (RPFish) - fellshish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31950169

tell me about the dream (Pt. 1 Kids are coming home) - playedwright   https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984813/chapters/68544450

It's handy to know (FIMMF Themed ;)) - RosaMarloes   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31761322

So Says The Sword - komodobits AngelTrueform!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597892/chapters/28695592

Communication Breakdown (RPFish)- darkshrimpemotions (jujubiest)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Carry You Home - Casloveshisfreckles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982637/chapters/65862916

In the Shadow of your Wings - Enochian Things (Salr323)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531294/chapters/17121655

When Harry Met Sally (RPF) (Pt. 1 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622347/chapters/17351845    - Eight Dildos (RPF) (Pt. 2 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood    - Attention, Please (RPF) (Pt. 3 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood             - Boat Trip (RPF) (Pt. 4 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood

A Winter's Tale - NorthernSparrow   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654327/chapters/5930561

A Close Shave - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090167

r/supernatural - renrub (short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626783

sam reads destiel fics - rebshome (short - funny!)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33721624

Angel Cookies - noxsoulmate Chirstmas!AU **  https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729640/chapters/26427765

Under The Midnight Sun - NorthernSparrow Arctic!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690645/chapters/39143677

Bron-Yr-Aur - mrbluesky (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225335

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet - saltyfeathers   https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258594/chapters/45800209

The Meaning On My Skin - saltnhalo   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005378/chapters/42538133

Red Right Hand (Pt. 1 Murder Ballads)  - Duckyboos   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306110/chapters/9760008    - Are you the One that I've been waiting for? (pt. 2 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos   

Riptides - sharkfish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230426/chapters/30263556

Damn Fine Ride - Cimorene105 (pt 1 - rodeo) Cowboy!AU** (I’m a horse girl, sue me...)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14342340    - My Face Just Does This, Sometimes - Cimorene105 (pt. 2 rodeo)    - The Kinkiest Thing I've Ever Done- Cimorene105 (pt 3 rodeo)    - All Signs Point to Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 4 rodeo)    - Monster Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 5 rodeo)    - My Man, The Siren - Cimorene105 (pt. 6 rodeo)    - A Pain in My Ass - Cimorene105 (pt. 7 rodeo)

Astrolabe (terra incognita pt 1) - reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348812/chapters/7326794    - Drollery (terra incognita pt 2) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent    - Rubrication (terra incognita pt 3) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent

Go Down With This Ship - PorcupineGirl   https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642/chapters/18370474

Fire and Ice - Castielslostwings (Firefighter/Paramedic AU!) **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286295/chapters/55768486

The Structural Similarities of Hunters and Onions - Faster_Than_the_Speed_of_Sound (Short)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33383101

Castiel Novak's Office, This is Dean - emmbrancsxx0   https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411336/chapters/53545840

Out of the Deep (out of the deep pt. 1) - riseofthefallenone - MERMAID AU! **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878/chapters/977676

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx - pantheon_of_discord   https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909440/chapters/24256989

I'll Be Good - LittleAngelCassie   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118334/chapters/9282234

Kenosis - CastielsCarma (Short - part of Destiel ABC collection)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30411720

[madara-fate]

I also wasn't insinuating that MinaKushi or DanTsu are the only good examples of good romantic relationships (I don't even care about these pairing for the record, or any other pairing in Naruto). I'm just pointing out that people do not doubt that Minato loves Kushina or that Dan loves Tsunade. If Sasuke genuinely loved Sakura and Kishimoto did a good job at showing it, then there would not be a huge debate on whether he does love her or not, because it would be obvious to pretty much everyone that he does, whether they like the ship or not. The fact that it's not and that so many people still debate on this to this day either shows that Kishimoto did a poor job at showing Sasuke as a loving husband either that Sasuke does not love her, despite that "love is the real deal" line or his reply to Sarada's question. It's show vs tell if you know what I mean. On one hand he tells us that "love is the real deal" but on the other hand he does not really show it all too well, which makes many people think whether he truly meant those words or he was being sarcastic and simply mocked the fans. It's either a case of bad writing either Sasuke simply does not love Sakura. I personally don't know what to think. I tend to lean towards the first option, it may just be bad writing after all. He admitted he's not great at writing romance and to be honest? It shows. It is even implied they haven't kissed in Gaiden by Sakura looking sad when Sarada asked her if they ever kissed. And I know you like to refute that by saying that it's preposterous to think they haven't kissed when they obviously had sex in order to concieve Sarada, but the thing is, it is entirely possible to have sex with someone but not kiss. It really is. When you're having sex but you're not really enjoying it or when you have simply been pressured and pestered into having sex with a person. Sakura Hiden confirmed the fact that Sakura was determined to confess her feelings to Sasuke over and over again until he would've eventually reciprocated. She compared that with punching a villain over and over until they're defeated. Now please tell me, would it be so far fetched to consider that harassment? If someone tells you no once, you have to respect their rejection and stop pursuing them, not take it as a challenge to persist in reaffirming your feelings over and over again until they eventually get tired or take pity in you and accept to give you a chance. And even in Gaiden it was confirmed that Sakura had to chase after Sasuke. It's really easy to see this ship as... problematic, to say the least. I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt tho and blame it on bad writing rather than on Kishimoto simply implying SS is not really a loving relationship, but if other people are not convinced or deny that Sasuke loves Sakura, you have to let your bias aside and admit that they have reasons to believe that. The writing makes it really easy to interpret it either way, depending on your preferences.

I already answered a lot of the points you made here in my response to your previous ask, but it's important for people to remember the type of person Sasuke is, and understand that the manner in which he shows affection isn't the same as Dan or Minato. It's a lot more subtle. Are people doubting that Vegeta loves Bulma and Trunks? No, so then people need to ask themselves - in which ways has Vegeta demonstrated that he loves his family in ways that Sasuke hasn't? Both of them aren't outwardly affectionate, both of them aren't romantic, but both of them have undoubtedly demonstrated that they love their family. Yet, only one of them is questioned. It really is just a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation. If Sasuke acts all affectionate like Dan and Minato, people will claim that he's OOC (like they did for Sasuke Retsuden), but if he stays reserved and demonstrates affection in his own way, people will just turn a blind eye and say he doesn't care. It really just shows how little they actually know Sasuke's character. To think that Sasuke, who hails from the clan which values love above all else, would marry and start a family with someone he doesn't love.

On one hand he tells us that "love is the real deal" but on the other hand he does not really show it all too well, which makes many people think whether he truly meant those words or he was being sarcastic and simply mocked the fans.

People actually think that Kishi may have been "sarcastic" when he described their love as the real deal. Oh my goodness. Why would Kishi purposely give wrong information to the readers (and never reveal what's actually going on)? Why would he intentionally want the readers to misunderstand his story and characters? Why would he want to portray his 2nd biggest character as someone who would enter a loveless marriage when that literally goes against the ways of his clan and his entire character? Do people not listen to themselves?

It's like how so many people claim that Sasuke saying "because you exist" means that the only reason he and Sakura are still together is because of Sarada, and people really don't realise how stupid that sounds. They don't stop and ask themselves why Sarada would be brought to happy tears, why Chouchou would describe her as lucky, and why Naruto would give her a knowing smile, if Sasuke had really just insinuated that she was the only thing that was keeping her parents together:

They just don't think. They apparently believe that Chouchou was happily thinking to herself "aww, lucky Sarada, you're the only thing keeping your parents together!", and that makes sense to them apparently, Chouchou being so happy for Sarada after hearing such awful news. It's unbelievable.

And I know you like to refute that by saying that it's preposterous to think they haven't kissed when they obviously had sex in order to conceive Sarada, but the thing is, it is entirely possible to have sex with someone but not kiss. It really is. When you're having sex but you're not really enjoying it or when you have simply been pressured and pestered into having sex with a person.

This is just like the people who believe that Sasuke is gay, justifying their ridiculous claims by pointing out how "you can be gay and still marry a woman", and to that I always say - Why would Sasuke do that? Just like to you I'll say - Why would Sasuke do that? To have sex and not kiss? Why would Sasuke of all people be "pressured and pestered" into entering a relationship with someone? He obviously has no problem whatsoever with bluntly turning people down. If he doesn't want to do something, he's not gonna do it. Heck, if you're using Sakura Hiden to try and prove your points then I'll also use a novel to prove this one - The lipstick stain scene during Sasuke Shinden: The Teacher's Star Pupil, explicitly indicates that Sakura and Sasuke had kissed earlier that day. The motorbike scene during Naruto Retsuden has Sakura kiss Sasuke. Sasuke and Sakura having kissed, is not (and has never been) a topic that's open to discussion.

Sakura Hiden confirmed the fact that Sakura was determined to confess her feelings to Sasuke over and over again until he would've eventually reciprocated. She compared that with punching a villain over and over until they're defeated. Now please tell me, would it be so far fetched to consider that harassment? If someone tells you no once, you have to respect their rejection and stop pursuing them, not take it as a challenge to persist in reaffirming your feelings over and over again until they eventually get tired or take pity in you and accept to give you a chance. And even in Gaiden it was confirmed that Sakura had to chase after Sasuke.

I've already talked at length about that scene from Sakura Hiden so I won't do so again here, but I'll link the relevant post where I explained how that scene obviously was not meant to be taken as a negative comment, but people will of course just twist things in order to suit their own anti Sakura/SS agenda.

But if other people are not convinced or deny that Sasuke loves Sakura, you have to let your bias aside and admit that they have reasons to believe that. The writing makes it really easy to interpret it either way, depending on your preferences.

No, here's what people need to understand. If people think that Sasuke's love towards Sakura was not adequately shown, then that's a reason to criticise the writing. It is not however, a reason to deny what is canon. They are stating that Sasuke does not love Sakura, despite the fact that this has explicitly been stated. Sasuke loving Sakura is a canon fact, whether they like it or not. Criticise the execution all you want, I know I have plenty of times, but don't deny the truth. Hell, since you wanted to use the novels...

During Sakura Hiden, Sasuke rushed back for Sakura's sake, despite having ignored the village's prior pleas for help. What does that say about his feelings for her?

During Akatsuki Hiden, Sasuke described Sakura as "The Spring Sunshine" which illuminated his dark life. What does that say about his feelings for her?

What does basically the entirety of Sasuke Retsuden say about his feelings for her?

Many anti SS fans are always so quick to use the novels when it suits them. And then when a novel like Sasuke Retsuden comes along and completely shits over all their theories, they're just as quick to dismiss the novel as an OOC fan fic by a sub par author, figures. As far as I'm concerned, the manga is more than enough to show that Sasuke loves his family (seriously this really isn't up for debate), but I'll also definitely say that anyone who criticises SS and uses the novels as a point of reference, is in way over their heads.

[mira--mira]

Hi! I was wondering

How do you think Hashirama and Madara would be in a Road to Ninja version?

I remember once reading a Hashimada fic (which I never finished RIP) that was about Madara appearing in the RTN universe and the 3 things that stucked with me were:

1.- Madara was the first Hokage (something that Madara thought was horrible when he saw his sculpted face on the Hokage mountain 🤣)

And personally I think that it would not have been like that even in the RTN universe because we didn't see his face along with the other faces of Hokages in the movie (Yeah, apparently I'm basing myself on a movie which I'm not even sure if it's canon or not, even though Kishimoto wrote it) and the RTN characters didn't seem to even know who Madara is.

2.- Hashirama having his bowlcut as an adult

And I agree with the Madara from that fanfic, it looks awful on him. Hashirama, babe, I'm sorry but the only ones who can rock that style are Guy Sensei and Rock Lee, I know you just were trying to be cool but it doesn't suite you.

3.- Tobirama was a porn writer

Instead of being a fan of forbidden jutsu and creating justus, he wrote porn novels a la Jiraiya. And I'll hold that headcanon with my dead hands.

The only other fanfic that places the founders in the RTN universe is one where the protagonist is Mito (it's an interesting one-shot that pairs her with Itama 🤔)

She was kind of a shy person 🤔? And so it was Tobirama 🤣 which I found fun.

Hashirama, as the first fanfic I mentioned, was the Tobirama of the place (saddenly Madara wasn't in this fic).

So I would like to know what are your versions of the founders (or only Hashirama and Madara if it is too much) in the RTN universe! And how do you think things would be

Hmm, RTN is an interesting concept to me but, to be honest, I don't think Konoha would exist if a lot of personalities got flipped 😂 I haven't read any RTN fics with the founders, but if you, or anyone else, have links at hand I'd love to check them out 👀

1. Madara

Here's the big one and the crux of why I don't think the village would exist. Typically I characterize Madara as an extremely responsible man who internalizes things when he shouldn't, takes himself way too seriously, is aggressive and abrasive even to people he loves sometimes, but genuinely loves the people closest too him. Reversing this would make a character that slacks off, takes no responsibility, and is completely passive in life and has fleeting attachments to others around him. Assuming he wouldn't die on the battlefield, I could see the RTN "alternate" personality coming about of Madara's being so overpowered and competent that he loses interest and distances himself from things before he can get attached and lose them.

It makes building a village very hard though. (At first I was tempted to go RTN Sasuke route and maybe RTN!Madara is a little more openly flirty than canon!Madara, but the passivity and refusal to take responsibility would be the "core" qualities for me.)

2. Hashirama

Hashirama is a bit weird because he has a lot of surface-level "conflicting" traits in canon. He is optimistic but he pushes beyond his natural attitude and uses it as a mask to hide instead of addressing his feelings. He's mischievous, likes jokes and games, and can be a bit hedonistic with his pleasure but can equally be serious when necessary and will willingly sacrifice for others around him. And simultaneously, Hashirama and Madara are connected by a shared sense of idealism but also anger. Hashirama is a very kind, but extremely angry, man. I think a RTN!Hashirama would share a kind of apathy of RTN!Madara but instead of passivity his lack of anger would manifest as cruelty. Because canon!Hashirama is angry but his anger is usually a righteous kind. I don't think RTN!Hashirama would go out of his way to be cruel, but he doesn't have the empathy of canon!Hashirama, especially to others' suffering. He enjoys fighting just a bit too much and has no qualms about killing. In his mind, he should always come first in any situation and prioritizing (or even considering) others' is effort and him going out of his way to be "nice" and the other should be thankful. Similarly if he feels any negative emotion, he won't bottle it up and swallow it down, he'll immediately address it, usually confrontationally. RTN!Hashirama is as intelligent as his canon counterpart but he doesn't suffer fools and he hates it when people underestimate him. He's pretty proud and vain, tbh.

I really don't think the above would make him the "Tobirama" of RTN verse. To me Hashirama and Tobirama have different core values and perspectives and inverting Hashirama's doesn't make it become Tobirama's, if that makes sense. This one is also wordy bc I immediately knew how RTN!Madara would be RTN!Hashirama is a bit harder to pin down. But I hope it's clear why I have doubts about the village existing...maybe if RTN!Hashirama got it in his mind as a pet project for the hell of it, that he'd be a better leader for the country and not just the Senju alone, and RTN!Madara liked the idea of no responsibility and being able to detach even further than he already was? But that's still kind of grasping for a reason.

3. Hashimada

Equally I think any Hashirama/Madara relationship would be ehhh. They definitely wouldn't have the overwhelming bond of their canon counterparts, and it could be a relationship ripe for unhappiness. The closest I can think of to making the ship work is RTN!Madara would be drawn to Hashirama's absurd level of self-confidence and able to let the casual cruelty slide off instead of getting worked up about it. In a way RTN!Hashirama is stable and predictable. If he's pretty overpowered, there's less of a chance RTN!Madara would lose him, so their relationship isn't deep but it's more or less dependable and Madara knows exactly what he's going to get. In contrast RTN!Hashirama has an audience in the form of RTN!Madara and a partner that's not going to push back against his ideas. RTN!Madara doesn't ask for much and he doesn't complain when RTN!Hashirama puts himself first. He doesn't want, or might not be capable of, the deep emotional bond their canon counterparts have. RTN!Madara wouldn't leave Konoha (if it existed) in the AU, because he doesn't really care. If someone upset RTN!Hashirama and he decided to leave to 'do it right' RTN!Madara would probably follow, maybe out of some loyalty for RTN!Hashirama but mostly because it's what's easiest.

4. Tobirama

The core of Tobirama's character to me is prioritizing logic over emotion and both a conscious and unconscious failure to realize he can't completely eliminate emotion. Tobirama loves his brother, he's curious and has a desire to find out what makes things work and is willing to bend morality to get results if it'll serve a greater good. He's very aware of the unfairness of the world but believes it's an unspoken truth of humanity and can only be mitigated through logical means, but never completely erased. He'll be the sacrificial lamb, the one that works in shadows so his brother can have his utopian dream. Despite everything, he loves his genin, the strongest bonds he has aside from Hashirama, and does try to instill in them lessons he think will help them and lead to peace and stability in the village. He's still influenced by the prejudices of his time and can never find it in him to truly forgive the Uchiha.

A RTN!Tobirama would be a man ruled by emotion. Him writing erotica all day definitely could be one way this manifests lol. But overall he's sensitive and spiritual and can't stand the idea of killing. He and RTN!Hashirama don't get along and he actively tries to avoid his brother. RTN!Tobirama has equally strong principles as canon!Tobirama, but they're pacifist in nature and while he likes his studies, he prefers to be out talking to people and learning from them first hand. He's very naive and can be easily taken advantage of and he has trouble focusing on any one thing for too long. No matter how many times this happens, he never can harden his heart or be overly suspicious of others. RTN!Tobirama would most likely be the one support peace in this AU. He embraces the Uchiha and all the Senjus past enemies with open arms, almost to a foolish degree. It'd be a bad idea if he became hokage in this AU because he's a terrible negotiator and has a bad people-pleasing streak and struggles with long-term tactics. With the exception of RTN!Hashirama, who he considers an aberration who doesn't have a soul, humans at their core all have good intentions at heart.

5. Mito

I characterize Mito as a very level-headed woman. Her marriage to Hashirama is political in nature but they grow to be good friends and she never expected to fall in love and she's glad Hashirama didn't want a traditional wife. Mito is devoted to her community work (she works hands-on with people in the village), she seeks out connections with others and, despite the distance, remains close with her family in Uzushio, constantly writing them letters. She's spiritual and follows the Uzumakis' beliefs (not gonna list this OoT spoiler lol) and studies fuinjutsu in her spare time, something she's done since she was a child. She is willing to sacrifice if it meant protecting something she considered greater than herself, much to her own personal detriment. She loves and is proud of her children and grandchildren, but if she had a choice, she would have chosen to remain childless, she finds her true calling elsewhere.

RTN!Mito, similarly to RTN!Tobirama, is ruled by emotions. She dreams of one day making a good marriage for herself and centers romance and being a mother as her ideal life, but she's extremely picky when it comes picking the perfect husband. RTN!Mito knows how much she's worth and she refuses to settle and will not even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. She has a hard time forming long-lasting, deep bonds with other people and views starting her own family as the solution to this problem. At times she can be a bit absent-minded and unintentionally selfish, but she's not actively malicious. She blusters a lot and depending on the situation can come off as cold and uncaring, but it's only to hide the depth of her true feelings and loneliness. In this AU she would absolutely refuse to marriage RTN!Hashirama. Nothing on hell or earth, could make her change her mind.

Mito is such a blank-slate character it feels like writing an oc more than a canon character, tbh. And this is something I don't see brought up a lot but a "heart full of love" to combat the kyuubi's hatred to me has never been exclusive to romantic or familial (to children) love. *cough* I want a complex female character who's not vilified for not wanting to have children and/or regretting having them *cough* Mito's "love" was for the people of Konoha and Uzushio. My personal headcanon regarding her and Hashirama's child (I don't think she had more than one) was that she was dedicated to her son, but quickly realized being a mother wasn't her dream or something she even actively liked. The kid was well-cared for and she was dutiful towards him, but Hashirama was the parent that loved and embraced him with his whole heart and it led to some tension between Mito and her son as the kid could tell the difference and neither of them were "wrong" to feel the way they did. This is why Tsunade was shown with Hashirama instead of Mito, he was a lot more present in her life when she was young (instead of Kishi just not having made Mito as a character yet). But after Hashirama and Tsunade's dad died (and then Nawaki), she and Mito grew close but it was definitely more of a friendship or student/mentor relationship rather than a traditional grandmother/granddaughter relationship but both were satisfied with it and loved eachother. Likewise I didn't want RTN!Mito's characterization to be shallow and hit misogynistic undertones with her being an "opposite" to Mito's calm, level-headed, focused on her work/passions characterization.

6. Closing thoughts

#1: Wow this got long #2: I feel conflicted about RTN because it seemed to flip surface-level characteristics instead of deep characterizations, and ignored flaws altogether. The ones above, esp. Hashirama and Madara's, are kind of dark in a way? But that's the only way it makes sense to me...Gai and Lee caring about style and being stylish is a funny joke but if you were to actually poke and prod and say their personalities were inverted, neither of them would be top-notch ninja as we know...unless I'm just completely misremembering RTN because I realize it's been years since I saw it lol. Anyway, hope this was entertaining!

[imaginedhaven]

Reluctantly Rooming: Part Nine

Link to Masterpost

I’ve been neglecting this fic! This chapter is a little shorter, both so I could get back into it and because this is kind of filler that sets up the next part (which I’m very excited about). But I hope you enjoy regardless!

Today’s prompts:

“I can’t believe you eat pineapple on pizza…what sort of monster are you?”

and

Rowan reading/editing smut

~*~*~

Aelin laughed nervously from her position under the smoke detector. “Um, I can explain?”

The beeping stopped as he reached the chair on which she was standing, and with steady hands on her hips he helped her down from her perch. “Explain later,” he said. “Gods, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

She looked up and met green eyes bright with enough worry that she bit her lip in a fit of nerves. “I’m sorry,” she replied. “I just wanted to do something nice, and I’m pretty sure at this point we both know that I should never be trusted with cooking. I just thought…”

Her voice trailed off as she found herself hugged against his chest. “I’ll appreciate the thought once I’m more awake, probably,” he reassured her. “Just… wait, is the stove still on?”

“Um…” Aelin was struggling to remember at this point. “Probably? I just kind of took the pan and threw it in the sink.”

“Which explains the clattering noise. Okay.” He let go of her to turn the burner off and start cleaning out the pan, and for just a moment she felt a sense of loss before her brain caught up with her.

“Wait,” she called. “Shit, I can clean that.”

“Please just let me.” His voice sounded so strained, and she wasn’t sure if it was the situation in general or the way she must’ve horribly mangled his cookware.

“Is there anything I can do?”

He only shook his head and scrubbed harder, and she quietly slipped away into the living room.

Gods, she had ruined everything. She had meant to do something nice for him, and instead she had woken him up in probably the worst way possible. Not to mention the fact that she had created more work for him and maybe even ruined one of their pans. Why had she thought this was a good idea, again?

She steadfastly ignored the traitorous voice in her head that suggested that she knew exactly why she had tried to do this. It didn’t know what it was talking about.

Finally, she realized that she had to do something. After all, if she didn’t intervene he’d most likely go straight from scrubbing away her mistakes to properly cooking them… lunch, she realized with a glance at the clock. She may not be able to cook to save her life, but she could definitely make sure they had food without him cooking it.

She grinned. Her cooking skills were subpar at best, but her texting thumbs were in perfect working order.

Aelin crept back into the kitchen, watching for a moment as the muscles of Rowan’s back rippled under his shirt with the force of his scrubbing. Finally, though, she tore her gaze away and focused her eyes on the back of his head. “Hey, I was going to order pizza. You want any?”

Rowan set the pan down and turned to face her with a smirk. “Only if it has pineapple on it.”

Aelin was positive her jaw was about to hit the floor. “Pineapple?” she asked, voice sounding weak to her own ears.

“That’s not a problem, is it?” Gods, he was looking so impossibly smug. And it was about pineapple, on all things. Was this a habit he’d developed simply to be ornery? She wouldn’t put it past him.

“Of course not,” she said, forcing as much saccharine sweetness as she could into her voice. “Why would it be a problem to cater to the whims of a monster who thinks pineapple belongs on pizza?”

“It’s sweet, tart, and relatively nutritious for a pizza topping.” Of course that would be his most important criteria when evaluating toppings for pizza. Why wouldn’t it be?

Aelin sighed. “I can’t believe you eat pineapple on pizza. What sort of monster are you? I mean, I knew you were a grumpy old buzzard, but this?”

As she spoke, though, she pulled up a delivery app on her phone. She had to take a few deep breaths before she did it, but she selected pineapple as a topping. She’d just have to get two pizzas. It was fine. They’d have leftovers.

She hit the button to order the pizzas and smiled. Even though she was pretty sure Rowan was messing with her, it was still nice to do something for him in exchange for all of the things he’d been doing for her lately. Even if it meant ordering a pizza she was confident was never meant to exist.

~*~*~

Later that evening, Aelin kicked her feet up onto the arm of the couch and tugged a blanket around her shoulders. “I still can’t believe you actually ate that awful pizza,” she muttered as she sorted through the movies she had available to watch.

Rowan hummed in response, clearly distracted, and she glanced over at him to find him still at work in the armchair. The glow of his laptop’s screen was reflected in his glasses… wait.

“Do you actually need glasses? I hardly ever see you with them.”

He frowned up at her for a moment before returning his focus to the screen. “They cut down on blue light. I don’t need them to see, but I’ll get a headache if I stare at this screen for too long without them.”

“Are you sure it’s not for vanity? Like, so you look like an editor?”

“Is there a point to this, or can I get back to work?” He sounded frustrated, but judging by the way he was glaring at the screen and not at her there was a good chance his anger was reserved for the work he was editing.

“Go for it.” Well, if he was going to be focusing on his work instead of her movie, she wouldn’t ask for his opinion. She set up a period romance and stood to find snacks.

As she passed by him, she chanced a glance at his screen and then paused, transfixed by the sight before her. Was that…?

It was. Rowan was editing smut. In the same room as her, no less, with no visible embarrassment.

She couldn’t keep silent. “I’m surprised,” she said as Rowan startled in the chair before her. “You were reading this the whole time? With a straight face, no less.”

Rowan shrugged. “It’s part of the job. Usually it’s not mine, but I’m taking on a project for someone who’s on vacation right now.”

“Oh.” She supposed that made sense; even romance novels went though some amount of editing, and she supposed someone had to do that work. There was a difference, though, between knowing that objectively someone had to edit this sort of book and watching Rowan pull up an annotation in his file to write Breasts don’t work like this with angrily pressed keys.

As she read the passage that had irritated Rowan so, she laughed. “I mean, you’re right, but I’m surprised you just knew what was wrong with it.”

Rowan lifted an eyebrow, eyes not leaving the screen. “And why would that be? I may not have them, but I can assure you I’ve been in physical relationships with people who have. Anyone who’s seen them for longer than about five seconds should know that.”

Aelin choked on air, wheezing and clutching at the top of the armchair. Of course, she had known distantly that the odds Rowan had been completely celibate were low. He’d never brought anyone home, though, so she’d been able to put any thoughts of her once-hated roommate having sex out of her mind. Now she was being confronted with the knowledge that he had, and she didn’t know what to do with it.

Finally, she managed to speak. “I’m gonna make some tea. Do you want any?”

Again, he didn’t look up from his work. “That depends. Is operating the electric kettle within your skillset, or are you going to try to burn down the kitchen again?”

“Och! I don’t know why I offered,” she grumbled.

Before she could leave, though, Rowan reached up and grabbed her wrist, finally turning green eyes onto her. “I was teasing, and if you’re making tea and there’s extra I’ll happily accept it.”

As she watched, something softened in his expression, and she wordlessly nodded before fleeing to the relative safety of the kitchen before taking a deep breath. Yes, it was better in here. No roommate casually talking about sex. No stupidly attractive roommate lounging before her with those stupid glasses as he worked. Gods, she’d even forgotten to make fun of him for wearing glasses he didn’t strictly speaking need. She was a mess.

Yes, tea was the correct decision.

It was an easy enough process that even Aelin couldn’t mess it up, and soon boiling water was poured over two teabags in mugs. Shit, it hadn’t been nearly long enough; she wasn’t sure she was ready to face Rowan again.

But face him she would. He would be back to ignoring her soon enough, and she could survive a few moments of interaction before starting her movie. And so she took another deep breath before grabbing both mugs and walking back out into the living room.

Rowan smiled up at her as she delivered his. “Thank you.”

Gods, but that smile was too much after their earlier conversation. She managed a nod at him before practically fleeing back to her couch with her own mug of steaming tea and pressing play on her movie.

The familiar beats of one of her favorite movies began immediately, and she slowly relaxed into the pile of throw pillows and blankets she’d accumulated. As she’d predicted, Rowan turned his attention back to his work as soon as the movie began.

However, throughout the night she could’ve sworn on more than one occasion that his gaze strayed to her instead, and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. For now, it would have to be one more thing to carefully not think about.

~*~*~

Tagging:

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @queen-of-glass @fangirlprincess09 @sassys-world @morganofthewildfire @superspiritfestival @perseusannabeth @sis-it-dont-add-up @jlinez @julemmaes @emilyoftheshadows @thegoddessofyou @mymultiversee @swankii-art-teacher @rowansfirebringer @rabodocardan- your tag isn’t working! Sorry!  @courtofjurdan @danibutterr @woollycat22

[fan-fantasies]

Partners? (Namjoon smut)

Pairing?: Namjoon x virgin!reader (college! au)

Warnings?: SMUT, fingering, oral, bit of a daddy kink, virgin reader, swearing (i think thats it?)

Word count?:a little over 8k

A/N: Hey guys! Its been a bit, kinda crazy that its now that i wanna write. So just a life update, i’m back at college, we are doing in person classes so I’m not sure how busy i’ll be. Though on a better note i’ve been writing a lot for some reason and am only now feeling inspired to do so. Anyways, someone needs to stop me from writing smut, I suck so bad at it but here I am continuing to write. Anyways, i hope you guys enjoy. Maybe i’ll post something else later in the week or by the weekend, who knows. Thanks for all the love and support you give me and Heather, we really appreciate it! <3 ~Breezy

In the three years, you had been at your university you had honestly believed that college dorm sex was the worst kind of sex to have. Not only did you have to be slightly quieter as to not allude the other students around you of what you were doing, but you had to make sure that you timed it just right so your roommate wouldn’t walk in on you. The number of times you had walked in on your roommate and her boyfriend finishing up was honestly insanely high. 

You and your roommate had been rooming together since your first year, you had moved into her room after your first roommate decided she wanted to party all the damn time. The two of you just seemed to click right away, you two had enough in common that you would stay up all night just chatting away. Usually talking about weird things and just end up going to bed without another word. 

Today was another day, your writing workshop had seemed to take its toll on you seeing as though you were dragging your feet on the pavement, how you hadn’t tripped yet was beyond your logic. You let out a rather loud yawn as you trudged towards your dorm building which seemed to be much farther away then you remember. 

“Hey!”A voice called from behind you, it took you a moment to realize that someone was talking to you. Stopping in your tracks, you turn and see a tall figure jogging towards you. You instantly recognize him by his blonde hair, he usually sits next to you in your workshop class. Namjoon was his name.

When he finally caught up to you, he stopped to catch his breath, “Damn, I’m out of shape,” he pants before standing back up fully. He was tall, practically towering over you. 

“Sorry to just run up to you,” he begins, “but I know we will be having a group project soon and I enjoy your writing so I was wondering if you would want to work with me?” He says looking at you, there was a small smile on his face. 

You had done proofreading on his work before, it was honestly amazing but you weren’t sure what he saw in your work. 

“Y-Yeah! Sure, I would like to work with you,” you smile, “I enjoy your work too!” You follow up as you watch his smile grow and small dimples appear. 

“Awesome!”He exclaims, “Can I have your number? So we can talk about times to meet up or maybe throw ideas at each other.”

You’re too mesmerized by his cute smile to say words, so you simply nod at his question. Both of you exchange numbers before you both go into different directions. 

You were lucky that Namjoon had stopped you to talk because if he hadn’t, you likely would have walked in on your roommate and her boyfriend having their sexy time. Unlocking the door, you enter, seeing the two of them in bed just kinda chatting but you knew they were likely naked under those blankets. You kept your eyes from looking in that direction as you walk towards your side of the room. 

Your roommate had greeted you, which you happily reply with a simple greeting. You knew the two of them would go back to chatting until they either fell asleep or he would get dressed and leave. You put your earbuds into your ears and began to read over the assignment that was given for another class and began to work on it. Engrossed in the music, your head thinking about nothing but the assignment until you felt someone tap your shoulder. 

“It’s time for dinner, wanna go to the cafe?” Your roommate asked, typically you both went together or ate in the room.

“Yeah just give me a second,” you answer as you get yourself to a good stopping point before grabbing all the things you needed for dinner. 

The walk with filled with chaotic chatter as usual, though she did apologize for you nearly walking in on them again. 

“Me and him just have awful timing,” she admits, “and we can’t do anything in his room cause his roommate is literally always around,” she explains with a shrug. 

You nod, “Yes well, please for the love of all things, just text me when you think you’re gonna start anything.” You plead, “Then at least I can wait an hour or something so I don’t have to see any more than I already do.” You both laughed for a few moments before entering the building that seemed rather quiet for the time of day. 

After grabbing your plate of food and finding an empty table you both sat together enjoying each other company more than the food. 

“Hey (y/n),”

You glance behind you, surprised to see Namjoon standing behind you. “Oh hey Namjoon,” he was smiling,

“Do you mind if I join you two? I wanted to run something by you for the project,” you glance over to your roommate who was clearing giving signs to let this poor man sit. 

“Sure take a seat,”you tell him, “Oh Namjoon, this is my roommate,” you introduce both of them. Your roommate seemed more interested in trying to leave you two alone to talk then actually making a friend. She stood up, grabbing all her things, before leaving she whispers in your ear,

“He’s cute! You better be getting some of that,” she giggles before walking off not giving you a chance to explain that it was nothing like that.

“Sorry about her, she can be a little weird,” you apologize to him, he only laughed a little before you both began talking about your project.

“I don’t know about you, but I find myself writing more romance style novels then I do anything,” he laughs nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

You sat there thinking about it, “I’ve never really written a romance style thing before,” you trail, you were more into writing horror and fantasy then you were anything. 

“I enjoy horror and fantasy,” you explain looking down at your hands. You weren’t exactly expecting the reaction you had gotten.

“That's wonderful!,” He began to jot notes down in his book, “Why don’t we try to write the most obscure story? Some sort of romance horror story,”  he suggests. 

There were a few moments of silence while you thought it over, a horror romance novel? That seemed a bit out there but then again, your writing wasn’t too far off from being “out there”.

“That sounds kind of fun~,” you tell him. His beautiful bright smile appeared on his face causing a blush to appear on your cheeks. What a truly interesting project this would be.

You hadn’t even noticed that people were slowly leaving the dining room area, the both of you too engrossed on trying to come up with the perfect idea. It wasn’t until the staff came over and told you it was nearly closing time that you realized how long you had been sitting at the same table. In that period, you had brainstormed five potential ideas. Honestly, you didn’t believe that you could be so productive with anyone.

“Namjoon, your some sort of genius,” you say as the two of you walk back towards the dorm buildings,

He laughs and shakes his head, “Well I wouldn’t say I’m a genius,” he began, “We can work really well together which is just a good thing,” he tries to explain, you figured he didn’t know how to word his statement but you understood what he meant. It was a relief to think someone so great had wanted to be your partner, since you last partner did none of the work and royally screwed you over. 

“Do you want to meet up tomorrow?” He asks, “To brainstorm some more,” he quickly adds . You thought for a moment only to remember tomorrow was the worst day of the week. 

“I won’t be able to till pretty late. My last class gets out around seven,” you sigh glancing up at him,

He just gave you a nod, “Why don’t we meet up tomorrow after your class for a little bit? I don’t mind staying up a little later,” he suggests,

You weren’t sure if your body could carry you that long, “I don’t know Joon~,” you trail, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to function after such a long day,” you try to reason, 

It was clear he understood but he seemed a bit taken back, “Joon?” He questioned, your eyes went wide with shock, 

“O-Oh, I’m sorry… I tend to give people nicknames and I don’t ever ask if its okay,” you blurt out in hopes you didn’t actually offend him. 

He just laughed, “No it’s alright, I like that a lot,” he answer causing a huge weight to lift from your chest. 

“How about this? We meet up tomorrow, a friend of mine works at a small diner right down the street. He would give us a place in the back if we wanted to work and we can get something to eat,” he says, “if the time comes and your tired then we won’t go,” he concludes. You decided to just tell him yes, not like it was a hard choice. 

You both said your goodbyes before entering your building and heading towards your room. Your roommate was sitting on her bed, laptop on her lap as she scrolled through Facebook. Her face lit up when she saw you, 

“Spill it!” She squealed looking at you hoping for some juicy details of a ‘hook up’. 

You raised your eyebrow, “There is nothing to spill,” you tell her, “We sat and talked about our project,”

She groaned loudly, for some reason she was always trying to convince you to sleep with someone. “Come on girl!” She shrieks, “You need to get some of him!” She put her laptop onto her bed and turned to face you. “He’s super cute and I’m pretty sure he likes you,” 

You knew she was happy for you but she honestly tended to be a little over the top about it. 

“Just forget about it, he’s my project partner,” you didn’t say anything else, you got your bag ready for you long day of classes. 

You knew you were asleep, but this dream felt so real to you. The library was quiet, you really enjoyed studying on the second floor of the library cause no one typically ventured down this far. It almost felt like a secret spot to you. 

“You like this spot too?” A voice asked, you knew it was Namjoon, you didn’t even have to look up from your book. 

“Its quiet and no one can distract me,” you explain continuing to let your eyes scan the book in front of you. 

“Can I join you?” You gave him a nod before he pulled a chair up next to you. The both of you studying in silence for what seemed like forever, it was peaceful and calming. That was until you felt his large hand on your knee. 

You froze at the sudden contact, finally glancing up from your book only to see him reading his as if nothing was happening. 

“N-Namjoon?” You stammer trying to keep yourself calm and to not over think it. He glanced over from his book, only to send you a wink before going back to his reading. What in the world was happening? 

You went back to your reading only to feel his hand creep higher up your leg, now reaching your mid thigh. You felt you stomach twist, not in disgust but in excitement. You tried so desperately to focus on your reading. Though his hand just kept creeping higher until reaching the apex of your thigh. You bit your lip, gently squeezing your legs together. His hand squeezed your thigh, he clicked his tongue in displeasure. Using his strength he pried your legs apart, though you didn’t try to fight back, it was easy to say you weren’t apposed to this happening. 

Once again looking up from your book, you finally saw him looking at you. His eyes blown with lust, it took your breath away. 

“Joon?” You whisper softly as he sets his book down. 

He chuckles, “Keep reading babygirl, and remember keep quiet,” he mumbles, “this is a library,” 

You aren’t sure what his plan is until you feel his hand creep up and begin to unbutton you jeans. You cheeks begin to heat up but you don’t protest, it almost turned you on more. You continue to try to focus on your book as he shimmy you jeans down your legs. Eventually his hand found its way between your thighs, his long fingers gently rubbing over your clothed core. You held back a moan, you had never been touched like this by anyone. 

He felt you tense up and could clearly see the wet spot starting to appear on your underwear, 

“Someones excited,” he chuckles glancing up at you, “Have you thought about this, me touching you like this?” He whispers now expecting an answer, 

You nod your head, “Y-Yes,” you whimper out, you wanted more, you NEEDED more. 

“Now be a good girl and start reading to me, don’t miss a word or I’ll stop,” you couldn’t believe your ears, he wanted you to read? You felt him move your underwear aside, his fingers dipping down through your wet folds. You whimper softly, 

“You heard me baby, start reading,” he growls lowly causing a shiver to run down your spine. Slowly you begin to read where you left off, reading something about the Egyptian gods and how the society revolved around them. You had honestly stoped paying attention up until this point. 

As you continued to read, his fingers ran through your folds collecting you wetness before gently making circles on your clit. The low moan that left you lips was unintentional and not something you had hoped would come from you but you continued to read. 

“You’re so wet baby,” Namjoon mumbles as he kisses your inner thigh, his fingers now trailing towards your entrance before he slowly interested a finger into you. 

You couldn’t help but stop reading, you knew if you continued the moan that would have escaped your lips would have alerted the who library. Just like he said, he stoped when you didn’t continue reading.

“What did I tell you babygirl?” He huskily asks, you began to pant unsure if you can answer. 

“P-Please daddy,” you whine, “just give me a minute, i-i’ll keep reading~ I promise,” the fact that you had just uttered those words even surprised you seeing as though you didn’t think that was something you were that into. 

He gave you a curt nod, “You better beautiful, or I won’t move,” you tried desperately to catch your breath but it took a few moments until you found yourself reading again. Once you began to read, Namjoon slowly began to pump his finger in and out of you. It took every inch of you to not stop or to stumble on your words. 

It wasn’t until he added a second finger where things started to go down hill. You began to stutter, soft moans began to leave your lips.

“P-Please, can I stop reading?” You beg hoping to get an answer you liked. 

He just chuckled as he stopped his motion, “Why should I let you stop baby?” He teased looking up at you, you didn’t have an answer to his question. 

“You gotta study babygirl,” he teases as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you. 

“P-Please daddy, I wanna watch you,” you whine causing him to stop, 

“You like this?” He begins to move his fingers faster, you put your book down. “If you aren’t gonna read you’re gonna look right at me,” he says looking you directly in the eyes. You gave him a nod locking eyes with him. While keeping eye contact, slowly he leans forward leaving a single kitten like on your clit, almost testing the waters. You bit your tongue to hold back the moan that would have escaped. 

Without warning he went straight in, sucking your clit between his lips.

“o-oh fuck,” you whimper as you try to keep eye contact with him, the feeling of his lips harshly sucking on you, while pumping his fingers into you. It was unlike anything you had ever felt before. When he finally inserted a third finger, your head rolled back a moan finally leaving your lips. You felt him gently slap your thigh to gain your attention, 

“Eyes on me babygirl, I wanna see your beautiful face when you cum on my fingers,” you felt yourself get closer to your release, 

“Fuck, are you gonna cum babygirl? I feel you tightening around my fingers.” He groans, “You like doing this in public don’t you? You like the idea of getting caught, don’t you?” He taunts, you moan not able to form words, 

“Answer me,” he growls against your clit as he gently nibbles on it, 

“Yes daddy, I like it,” you whines out softly, he chuckled sending vibrations straight to your core. 

“I knew you did you slut,” his words only pushing you closer to the edge, 

“I’m so close,” you moan, “Please daddy, let me cum,” you beg, he groans at the sound of you begging. 

“Go on babygirl, cum for daddy,” he groaned out move his fingers faster. The look in his eyes was enough to throw you over the edge, your legs began to shake as you finally reached your climax. He helped you through your high, working his fingers slowly in and out of you until you finally came down. 

“What a good girl~”

Your eyes snapped open, you could feel the wetness pooling between your legs, you hated wet dreams…. You grumbled to yourself as you looked at your phone and saw that it was seven o’clock, thirty minutes before your alarm as to go off. 

“God damn it,” you mumble under your breath as you get out of bed, deciding to take a shower to start the day and maybe you might be able to deal with the aching between your legs. 

Your day had honestly started off alright considering waking up earlier than intended.  Your first three classes went by rather well, though you had two more to go. Between walking from building to building you stopped into the cafeteria to grab a quick snack seeing as though you wouldn’t be eating until eight o’clock tonight when you met with Joon.

In your rush to get in and out quickly, you ran into something solid, 

“(Y/n)? You alight?” A concerned voice asked, you nodded before looking up, 

“Yeah, I’m alright Hobi,” you say, “I’m sorry for running into you, I’m in a bit of a rush,” you explain to him, he smiled his bright smile before speaking, 

“No harm done! I look forward to seeing you tomorrow at the club meeting!” He say as you rush off. Hobi was president of a dance club that you had been apart of since your freshmen year, but it wasn’t until Hobi came around that you guys ever did anything. You were finally doing shows and competitions, it was honestly the most amazing thing. The both of you bonded over a duet you did together that would be considered pretty risky for just friends to do. Ever since then you two were honestly the best of friends. 

Rushing towards your next class you munched on a piece of toast, you weren’t running late but if you walked slow enough you would be. You just kept telling yourself that you were almost done and soon you would be meeting with your cute new friend. 

Seven o’clock came around and you were trying your best to keep yourself awake, you last class had a quiz that you had completely forgot about and it honestly took everything out of you. 

“Hey (y/n),” Namjoon says as he meets you outside of the school building. 

You yawn and smile, “Hi Joon,” he frowns, he can clearly see that you were tired. 

“Let me take you to your room,” he says with his usual smile, you looked at him in confusion,

“N-No, Joon lets go do our project,” you yawn as you begin to walk, he stops you by gently grabbing your hand,

“Why don’t we go to your room, we can work there if you want,” he says, you nodded sleepily. You must have been that sleepy to invite the boy your roommate shipped you with back to your room. This was a disaster waiting to happen. 

Namjoon walked with you into your room, your roommate was no where in sight. Weird, she must have been at her boyfriends room…

“Make yourself at home,’ you yawn as you set you bag down by your desk and promptly take a seat on your bed. 

“Fuck~” Namjoon mutters as he checks his phone, 

“Whats wrong?” You ask sleepily, you kinda cuddling into your bed. 

“My roommates girlfriend is over, meaning I need to find a place to crash tonight,” he mumbles clearly not happy about the predicament. 

Without thinking you spoke up, “Stay here,” he seems to freeze in his place, “I don’t mind,” you yawn again now laying down in the bed. 

“A-Are you sure (y/n)? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he reasons with you. You pat the empty space next to you, honestly not caring what he did. 

He must have realized no work was getting done tonight, because the lights went out and you felt him lay behind you. You could tell he was trying to keep his distance like a gentleman but you weren’t a fan of personal space. 

A soft yawn escaped your lips  as you cuddled closer to his chest, you had always liked being warm when you slept and he was practically radiating heat. Namjoon tensed up behind you, unsure of what to do mainly because he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Though he felt himself slowly drift to sleep, his arm gently draping over your waist gently. He could help but feel butterflies in his stomach, it was true he found you cute and that he may have gained a crush on you in the small amount of time you knew each other. Though he wasn’t going to complain about what was happening, no way in hell but he just hoped when you both woke up you things wouldn’t be too awkward. 

You heard the door slowly open, at what you assumed was, early that next morning. You didn’t pay much mind to it seeing as though you were so comfortable and warm in your bed. The soft giggles of your roommate were faint as you slowly began to wake up from your peaceful sleep. You had begun to realize that you pillow was a bit harder then usual…You eyes fluttered open only to find that your pillow was, in fact, the hard chest that belonged to none other then Namjoon. You knew nothing had happened last night, and that this was nothing more. 

“What time is it?” You groan quietly to your roommate, 

“A little after seven,” she says just as quietly, “I see you had a fun night,” she teased, 

You stuck your tongue out at her, “No, he came over to work on our project and I fell asleep, his roommate had his girlfriend over and needed a place to crash.” You tell her as quietly as you could without waking the gentle giant. Your roommate still giggled and went to her side of the room, you assumed to get ready for the class she had today. 

You took this moment to look up at Joons sleeping face, his hair was slightly disheveled and his lips slight agape. Every so often he would softly snore and shift a little. You honestly wished you could have this view all the time. You watched for as he slowly began to wake up, his eyes fluttered open. 

A small smile formed on his lips, “Morning,” he mumbled lowly in his deep morning voice. 

“Morning Joon,” you say just as softly as you slowly try to sit up, instead he slowly pulls you back, 

“Stay for a bit longer,” he groans as he seems to close his eyes again. You honestly didn’t fight him, though you knew your roommate wasn’t gonna let you live it down. It wasn’t much longer until your eyes fluttered shut again and you fell asleep. 

You woke up again, this time to a tickling feeling against your neck. It didn’t take you long to realize that it was Namjoon’s breath against your neck. His face was buried into your neck, his lips ridiculously close to touching your skin. You tried so hard to control your breathing, to ignore the feeling of arousal starting to pool between your legs. Just the idea of his lips on your neck was enough to cause said aching between your legs. 

Namjoon groans in his sleep, shifting closer to you, his lips now brushing gently against the nape of your neck. You bit your lip in order to hold back the whimper that was rising from your throat. This man had no idea what he was doing to you. You continued to feel his lips lightly brush against your neck for a few moment, holding back was becoming incredibly hard. You wanted to move but his arm was securely wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him, maybe he was aware of what he did to you…

You tried to push that thought away from you there was no way he knew, well that’s what you thought. Not seconds later did his lips press against your neck, not roughly but just enough that a the whimper you had been holding back finally made an appearance. His lips didn’t move, it was clear that he was still asleep. 

“J-Joon,” you whisper out in hopes that maybe he would wake up, He just groaned in his sleep, his lips continuing to graze your neck. 

“Namjoon,” you breath out, trying to hide your embarrassment, you honestly couldn’t believe that something this simple was turning you on. Slowly he began to shift, his lips moving away from you now as his eyes opened. 

“(Y/N)?” He groans as he slowly wakes up, you sat there trying to catch your breath. You heart was still pounding in your chest, 

“Are you okay?” He asked, clear concern laced in his voice. 

You nod your head, “Y-Yeah, just woke up from a weird dream,” you stammer out trying to keep yourself calm. He sits up looking at you, he was worried about you clearly. 

“I’m alright, I promise,” you say, “do you have class today? We can do some of our project today.” You say trying to change the subject. He rubs his eyes, before shaking his head, 

“I have a club meeting tonight but that’s about it,” he replies, he keeps an arm wrapped around you as you chatted,

“You’re in a club?” You question, you assumed he was in some sort of ‘smart person’ club but you wouldn’t actually admit that out loud. 

“A childhood friend wanted me to join a club with him,” he says with a nod, 

“Who’s your friend? If you don’t mind me asking,” you ask honestly kinda curious to see if you know them.

“His names Hoseok,” he says with a shrug, 

You sat there shocked for a second, “Wait, Jung Hoseok?” You ask, when he nodded you nearly had a heart attack, “You’re joining the dance club?” You blurted, you really hoped he didn’t take offense to that. 

He laughed and nodded, “Yes, I know it’s a bit strange. He roped a bunch of our friends together to do some sort of dance together,” he laughed, “He even managed to ask our friend Seokjin and Yoongi to come back to join it,” He explained, now you were interested, 

“Wait, Min Yoongi?” You ask, “The music production major, who on the last day literally cussed out the professor?” You squack, causing the both of you to laugh. His laugh was honestly adorable to say the least. 

“Yes that Yoongi,” he confirmed, “We all became friends at a young age and we all just kinda stayed together I guess.” He chuckled, you smiled hearing that. You didn’t have many friends growing up, and the ones you did lost contact and you all just kinda faded away. Not like you really cared seeing as though you never really liked having friends anyways. 

“I didn’t realize he would be someone to be into dancing,” you mutter causing Namjoon to chuckle, there were no other words spoken for a few moments. 

Eventually, the both of you began to work on your project. You both of you throwing ideas back and forth of the strangest thing. 

“Hear me out,” you begin with a giggle, “What about these two friends live together, and one of them becomes possessed by a demon,” you explain, “the demon sees that the friend it’s possessing is madly in love with the other. So it spends all its time trying to get them together,” you conclude looking at his face for any sort of thought. 

A bright smile spread across his face, “Thats amazing! It’s perfect!” He says happily, jotting it all down in his notes. The both of you continued to work for most of the day, it seemed like both of your minds just joined together as one. 

Before you realized it, it was nearly time for you to head to club. 

He began to pack up his things, “So I’ll see you there?” He asked with a happy smile, you gave him a happy nod before saying goodbye. Once he left, you threw on your more dance worthy clothing before grabbing your water bottle and keys, before locking your door and leaving. 

You were one of the first to arrive after Hobi, he was quick to run to you and engulf you into the tightest hug imaginable. 

You were happy to give him an even bigger hug, “Hobi!” You squeal happily, his cute laugh filled the room as you both just stood embracing each other. Though it honestly hadn’t been that long since you had seen him, you both often greeted each other this way. 

It was honestly the one thing you looked forward to. If it weren’t for Hobi, you wouldn’t be the person you were today. As you waited for the rest of the club, the both of you stretched and spoke together about the things you had done over your summer or just random things that you both had been up to. 

Eventually a few stragglers came in before the large group of boys that you were kind of familiar with. The three you recognized was, of course, Namjoon who walked beside Yoongi. You had only seen him a few times, Yoongi was pretty quiet when he wasn’t with his friends. You had nearly worked a project with him, a singer was needed, you had auditioned but the day you were asked to go in they had turned everyone away. He had decided to do something different. 

The last person you recognized was Jimin, you had met him through the club. He was a true sweetheart and was honestly a dance god. You honestly envied his talent, he was an amazing dancer with so much passion. You had both danced together once, you had nearly won a competition his first time doing the club. 

Hoseok’s voice filled the room as he greeted his friends from where he was standing, you could tell he was extremely happy to see that they had actually decided to show up. He waved you over with a wide smile, you cautiously walk over not exactly sure how this would go over. 

“Guys! This is (Y/N), she’s another good friend of mine!” He introduces, you gave an awkward smile and wave as they all introduced themselves. Jimin greeted you with a sweet hug as the others just kinda waved. 

“I’m just so glad you guys are here!” He cheers with a giggle, each person broke into a pretty wide smile. This years club was going to be an interesting one, you could tell. 

A few months had gone by, Namjoon and yourself had gotten closer than ever. If you squinted you would honestly think you were an actual couple, well most people believed that you were anyways. You were always together, either working on your project or just hanging out together.  Hobi had noticed the two of you getting close, so he decided to make you dance partners. It was honestly the most amazing thing to happen, it only brought you two closer together. 

So close that your roommate just wouldn’t stop teasing you, asking when you were finally gonna take things to the next step. You obviously told her that you both weren’t in that kind of relationship, she would just roll her eyes and continue to tease you. 

Today was like any other day, except today you stayed in his room. The both of you sat in his bed watching a random movie that played on his computer. You two often did this on the weekends, it was a way for you to de-stress and just spend time away from everyone. 

Though something was different, Namjoon seemed nervous. He arm was slung over your shoulder, you wanted so desperately to cuddle into his side. 

Recently the stresses of college had really gotten to you, all the work and projects you had to get done where starting to take its tole. You hadn’t been sleeping well, you hadn’t been eating well and honestly you had gone a week or so without interacting with anyone, that included going to your favorite club. 

“Are you okay?” Joon questions snapping you out of your thoughts. You didn’t speak for a few seconds, the only sound to be heard was the sound of the tv. 

“I’m alright,” you finally answer, “I’m just glad to be finally having a break from everything.” You whisper softly, he gave a small nod before pulling you closer to his side. The faint smell of his cologne fulled your nose instantly calming you down. 

“Thanks Joonie,” you mumble snuggling into him more, if that’s even possible. You heard him chuckle a little. You glanced up to him, much to your surprise he was looking at you, his dimpled smile showing. You found yourself glancing down at his lips a few times, honestly wondering if they were a soft as they looked. He seemed to notice you gaze rather quickly, he was always a little slow when it came to the signs but he could see that this was something you might have wanted. He slowly leans towards you, his lips now extremely close to yours. 

“N-Namjoon,” you whisper, looking into his dark eyes. Concern filled them for a second, afraid he had done something wrong. “Kiss me, please,” you tell him, not wanting to wait another second. He seems frozen at your request, so you took the leap of faith. Gently you connected your lips together, it was clear that the both of you were nervous. 

The kiss lasted only a few seconds, before he pulled away slowly, you heart was beating out of your chest. Before you knew it, his hands gently grabbed your waist, pulling you onto his lap you legs straddling him. One of his hands sat gently on your side while the other caressed the back of your neck. He pulls you back in for another kiss, this one passionate and showed all the feelings he had. His hand held you close as his tongue gently snaked his way into your mouth. Was this was really happening?

You couldn’t help but involuntarily rolling your hips against his causing the both of you to moan into each others mouths. You finger tangled in his hair holding him as close as you could get him. Was this actually happening? You’d never done this with anyone before but you weren’t going to stop, this felt way too right. 

You pulled away from his lips, both of you trying to catch your breath. Cautiously his lips trailed down your neck, leaving feather light kisses everywhere that he could. You let out a soft sign, the feeling foreign but pleasant. As he became more confident in himself, his lips pressed harder onto your neck occasionally sucking and nipping at the skin cause soft moans to slip past you lips. His hands began to wander cautiously, giving you an opportunity to stop him at any time. You hadn’t planed to stop him, even after his hands began to wander under your shirt touching your bare waist. He pulled away from your neck, looking you in the eyes asking for permission. You simply nodded, you didn’t have to say words the both of you could practically feel each others energies. 

His lips connected to yours again, you grabbed the edge of your shirt, slowly pulling it up and off of you. The kiss continued for a few moments before he too shed his shirt. Your hands began to trail his toned stomach, he was so well built… 

A groan escaped his lips as a hands began to trail up towards your chest, his hands cupping your cloth covered breasts gently almost testing the waters. Once again his lips trailed down your neck heading towards your semi-exposed chest. Taking this chance, you reach behind to unclasp your bra letting it fall from your chest. He doesn’t hesitate to let his lips wander further down until his lips attached to one of your nipples. You couldn’t stop the moan that trembled from your lips causing him to glance up at you and pull away, 

“You gotta be quiet, we don’t need everyone hearing,” he chuckled with a small smirk causing wetness to pool between your legs. He left a few kitten likes against your nipple before seeing your reaction, “Unless you want everyone to know.” This caused another moan to surface giving him the answer he was looking for. He used his strength to lay you down on your back, him hovering above you. His lips continuing to assault your breasts, leaving small love bites and soft kisses as he worked his way down towards you stomach. 

“Joon, please,” you whine softly trying to keep your voice down. He left light kisses near your navel as he slowly began to pull down your sweatpants. Lifting your hips off the bed to help get your pants off. He wasted no time, leaving light kisses against you thighs leaving your body shaking with anticipation. He silently drank in your form before leaning down kissing near the waistband of your panties, he glances up at you almost silently asking for permission which you happily gave him. He pulled them down your legs carefully, you hear him audibly groan at the sight of you. 

“You’re so wet baby,” he groans as he begins to kiss your thighs again making his way higher and higher. He parts your legs, placing them on his shoulders as he dives in. His tongue automatically finding your clit, you bit your lip silencing the cry that the whole building would likely had heard. Your fingers tangled in his hair, holding on for dear life, his mouth felt amazing. 

“H-Holy shit, that feels so good,” you moan softly, you felt him smile against you, occasionally groaning as he continued to eat you out. The closer you to to your high, which was a lot faster than you would hope, the harder it became to hold back your moans. 

“Joon, I’m so close, please,” you beg trying to keep your voice down as low as you could, your grip in his hair tightened causing him to groan. You hips bucked up against his face, trying to chase your orgasm. He flattens his hands against your stomach, pinning you down so you couldn’t move. This only brought you closer, after a few moments of chasing your much needed orgasm he growls against you, 

“Cum for me, baby,” That was all it took before you were thrown over the edge, the idea of him being able to bring you to an orgasm with just his tongue only seemed to intensify it. 

“Joon,” you whine as you came down from your high but his ministrations didn’t stop. You tried to push him away but he held you down. It was only a moment before he from between your legs, crawling up your body and kissing you lustfully. You could still taste yourself on his tongue as you fought for dominance. His fingers gently touched your sensitive clit causing you to gasp against his lips, he pulls away slightly,

“Relax baby,” he whispers, “I have to prep you for me,” he nips at your neck, as his fingers trail down towards your entrance you grab his hand. 

A faint blush crept on your cheeks, now feeling embarrassed, his eyes softened. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked genuinely concerned about this, you covered your face in embarrassment. 

“I-I’m a virgin,” you mumble, gently he moved your hands from your face. He looks directly into your eyes, you could only see love in his eyes. 

“It’s alright,” he kisses your cheek sweetly, “If you want to stop we can, I don’t wanna rush you,” he begins, “If not, I will be really gentle alright? I would never hurt you,” he whispers, you felt tears well up in your eyes. You couldn’t believe he actually cared that much for you…. 

“Please keep going,” you whisper, “I trust you,” you watch as his smile grew wider, the love in his eyes only grew brighter. 

“Then I will be really gentle, you just have to tell me if I’m hurting you,” he says; you give him a nod of understanding before he continued. His lips connected to yours once more in a quick kiss before he gently laid his forehead against yours, his finger circling your entrance. You gave him a small nod while looking into his eyes. He took the first step, slowly inserting a finger into you. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to start with, kinda uncomfortable but the longer you adjusted. You knew this was just the beginning though. 

Slowly he began to move his finger, testing the water to see how you were feeling, the moan that escaped your lips seemed to egg him on. His pace slowly quickened, before slowly entering a second finger into the mix. He halted his motions for a few moments, 

“You’re doing so well beautiful,” he whispered in your ear, along with a few other encouraging words that seemed to shoot a tingling sensation right down to your core.  

“M-Move, please,” you whine not wanting him to hold back any more. He took that as his cue, starting a slow almost teasing pace that drove you crazy. Though the slow pace didn’t exactly last too long, it began to pick up. His eyes never left yours, watching as your face would contort in please just by the flex of his fingers. 

“J-Joon,” you moan, “I want you,” he didn’t need to be told twice. He pushed himself off the bed, finding a condom not in his desk but his roommates. This made you giggle, 

“he won’t notice, the guy goes through them like candy,” he grumbles as he pulls down his sweatpants and boxers. His hard cock hits his stomach, the tip already leaking pre-cum as he put the condom on and hovered above you. 

“This will hurt a little, alright? But just for a minute,” he advices as he lined up with your entrance. Once he slowly began to sink into you, holding back tears you pulled him closer to you burying you face into the crook of his neck. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you laid together adjusting to his size, the pain slowly turned into a dull ache and eventually nearly nothing. 

“Y-You can move,” you tell him as he pecks your lips. Slowly he pulls himself out and back in, setting a slow pace just to start out. Soft moans continued to flow from your lips, trying so hard to keep quiet but it was proving a harder task than you thought. 

He kept the slow pace for a few minutes, the he began to speed up until he was nearly pounding into you. All you could do was moan his name as you were, once again, building up towards your orgasm. Namjoon left soft kisses against your neck, leaving love bites in his wake, 

“Are you gonna cum, baby?” He growls against your neck, 

You hold back the loud moan you were threatening to let out, “yes,” you moan, “Yes daddy,” you whimper, you felt his tense slightly at the name he was just called. A blush crept up your neck and to your cheeks, you honestly believed you had screwed up. 

“Call me that again,” he groans into your ear as he began to snap his hips forward thrusting deeper than before.

“Daddy,” you whine, “I’m so close please,” you sob trying to keep your cries to a dull roar but you were ultimately failing. He continues to thrust, now rougher than ever but you could tell that the name was really getting to him. You could feel the knot in your stomach endlessly tightening but it wasn’t enough, you needed something else. Almost as if he read your mind, his hand snuck down between your bodies, his finger tips drawing tight circles on your clit. 

“Come on baby,” he groans, “Cum for daddy,” he growls while making eye contact with you. You felt the knot snap, you pull Namjoon down into a suffocating kiss, muting the loud moan that escaped as you found your release. Namjoon followed behind, as he felt your walls tighten around him his thrust got sloppy, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. 

“Shit, fuck,” he groans into your neck as he released into the condom. His thrusts continued until he nearly collapsed on top of you. The both of you panting, trying to catch your breath. Before he got to comfy he tied the condom off and threw it in the trash. He pulled the blankets over the both of you, and pulled you towards his chest, his heart was still racing. 

“That was amazing,” you say softly, cuddling into his chest. He only nodded in agreement, taking a few minutes to figure out what he wanted to say. That was until the sound of his door unlocking brought you both out of your daze. 

You weren’t prepared for who walked in. 

“Woah, what the fuck…” a familiar voice said, the both of you glanced over only to see your roommate and her boyfriend walk in. 

“No fucking way!” Your roommate squeals in, honest to god, joy. You buried your face into Namjoon’s chest to hide the deep red blush that appeared. 

“Can you guys like, leave?” Namjoon asked, hoping that they wouldn’t over stay their welcome. The both of them laughed, his roommate grabbing a few things before heading back towards the door, 

“So this is what it feels like to be walked in on?” He mumbled causing you and Joon to laugh. When the two of them left, leaving you two alone did he finally speak. 

“I want to take you out,” he mumbles, “Please… I kind of did this in the wrong order,” he rubbed the back of his neck. You giggled at him, his nervousness was honestly the cutest thing. 

“I would love to go out Joonie,” you say kissing his cheek, “Now can we take a nap?” You ask with a giggle. He gave a wide smile before nodding. 

“Of course beautiful,” he whispers as the both of you lay down, he pulls you into his warm chest before the both of you fall asleep.