#if i dont post in the next few months ill be dead.

[spidergirl-fibula]

listening to any music lately?

Trans women yelling at me, mainly

[basil-does-arttt]

Devil May Cry 2. The pimple-faced teenager of the series, widely regarded as the worst game in the franchise.

While yes i agree with this viewpoint to some degree, and i think all the jokes about it being the worst one are funny... i honestly dont think the game is THAT bad. In fact, i think people give it too much shit.

Ill start out by saying this: no, the game isnt amazing. Its under-developed, rushed, and in no way is it up to the same standard as the other 4 games. Im not saying its this perfect game, but its not as horrible as some make it out to be.

Ive played through the game on the original PS2 version and the remastered version, and although im yet to complete Lucia's campaign, i can confidently say the game is mediocre at worst really.

First the gameplay: Boring? Yes. Definitely. Do you like standing in one place and shooting everything for 15 minutes untill it drops dead? This is the game for you. But you dont have to do that, it just happens to be the easiest option because the controls are so jank. I spent (some) time myself learning the combos, turns out it depends on the way you angle the joystick, and once you get the hang of it, its not that difficult to S rank combat encounters at all. Its annoying, but not impossible, and the combos can honestly look pretty cool imo.

The movement is also another thing, the dodge animation takes way too long to perform but i do like the forward dash. Its a nice alternative to using stinger as a makeshift movement dash, i wish they kept it for furture versions of Dante. (Yes i know theres the trickster dash, but he doesn't do a flip)

I also really love the flying mechanic with aerial heart, and the different kinds of core thingies you could combine as a whole. A unique feature that kinda got combined into other things in Dante's design.

A few of the bosses, if they had been fleshed out and maybe balanced a bit better, could've been just amazing too. Furiataurus for example. One boss i feel was done well though was The Despair Embodied, and although you can just stand around and shoot it to death like everything else, you do actually have to put effort in to not get hit and die. (Trismalga is also kinda in that boat too, a well(ish) done fight you actually have to put effort into, but i personally didn't like it.)

Next, level design: You have to admit they did some cool things with the level design. *some*. The whole "grungy city" vibe is something i found very interesting, and the trippy purple iteration of lower town was, while infuriating to navigate thanks to the camera and graphics (esp on the ps2 version), was actually quite neat. I also really liked the clock tower in Lucia's campaign.

And also, the music. Can i just say, i think dmc 2's soundtrack is my favorite one out of all 5 games. The ambient background tracks are almost dreamy, especially Lucia's ones, the boss themes honestly go hard and the piano track that's repeated throughout the whole soundtrack just sounds good. If you take anything away from this post, its that you should listen to the soundtrack. (I reccomend the tracks "Unholy Relics", "Cry for the Moon", and "Shoot the Works")

The character designs are another thing i think they did well in this game. In my humble opinion, Dante's dmc 2 style is the best looking one in the whole series. Lucia also looks quite cool, her devil trigger form especially.

The characters themselves, Dante especially, need work, but might i remind you the developers were rushed when making this game. They didn't have enough time to do everything they wanted to do, 6 months before the game was supposed to release they didn't even have it in working condition. It was only thanks to Itsuno stepping in as the director that we got this game in the first place, and all he could do was salvage what the team had already created and get it in a releasable state before launch.

If only they had a bit more time (and maybe resources), dmc 2 couldve been quite the cool game. Though, on that note, if it werent for dmc 2's catastrophic faliure and Itsuno's prompt pestering for a sequel so the franchise didn't die outright, we wouldn't have gotten dmc 3. Though i think Capcom would've made a 3rd game regardless of the scenario.

All in all, i dont think dmc 2 is that horrible of a game. If you have the remaster collection, or even the original PS2 version, at least try it. Give it a go, play through the first few missions and kill one or two of the bosses.

Don't take it seriously, just have fun and enjoy the game in all its janky half-finished glory. If you look at dmc 2 that way, i think you'll enjoy it a whole lot more.

Or dont. Yknow, its your choice.

[insomnicbypasser]

Ho boy what a past two couple weeks am i right guys??? This post will just be me throwing my thoughts at the wall dont expect any sense of consistance im going to be topic hopping probably also just to let you all know this post wont have much if any neg because i honestly font hold those feelings towards purgatory sorry xD however if yall do have neg stuff feel free to have an open discussion in the replies i wanna study yall under a microscope

THOUGHTS BELOW

Alright first of all lets give it up for Bolas guys lets be honest no one not even they themselves thought they were gunna win fr

As a sole Bolas watcher ill have to say these streams have been the most fun ive had watching a stream in a while ive legit fixed my sleeping schedual just to watch these streams lemme tell you

I know that alot of people are unhappy with the ending that we got today but just to remind everyone that i dont think the admins or quackity would do anything TRULY permant without discussion with the cc's

Maxs death was obviously planned days in advance and seeing as the cc's didnt know anything about the eggs conditions or whereabouts i think its safe to assume none of them are actually dead

I trust quackity and qsmp not to do something that would obviously be so unsatisfiying to both the players and the fans, mostly because several months of build up definitely wouldnt lead to that

I think purgatory will be used as a learning experience for qsmp staff as how to make events more enjoyable, and i have no doubt that the week(s) inbetween this purgatory event and the next will be spent working out bugs and making qol changes, we cant expect everything to go perfectly without making mistakes

I think that the ending to purgatory played into the whole theme thats been hammered on over and over again by quackity both in and out of game: this event is made to make you unhappy and uncomfortable. It was tailored to brew conflict and make you unsatisfied, whivh judging by peoples reactions worked very well!

This event is definitely going to make past and future experiences sweeter. Were going to look back on pre purgatory as the good ol days before disaster and look at post purgatory as the catharsis period after a disaster. Puragatory is defintely the growing pains need to bring new life into the server, ots the absence that makes the heart grow fonder.

I have a serious question to ask people down in the replies: how many of you came back to qsmp or started WATCHING qsmp because of the purgatory event. Ill be honest after the first couple months i only tuned into mr charlie slimecicles streams and those were few and far between but after puragtory started i began to feel the insatiable lust for more qsmp so i began to watch recap videos and vods at a horrifiying pace. I started watching other povs because of how well bolas played off of each other and i didnt want to miss a single second of their shenanigans.

This single event has made me more excited for qsmp content then anything in the past couple months. I got a fucking twitter account for christs sake just because i wanted to know wehn people were going live and to see recaps on what the other teams were up too.

I know these past two weeks have been stressful and uncomfortable for some people so i ask yall to take a step back and detoxify so we can come back to this with clearer and fresher prespectives so we can focus on the fun and intruiging aspects of the event

Lets wallow in the angst and let chaos take the wheel with theories and ideas on how everything will pan out from here, i have hope that everything will turn out in the end even if its brought about woth blood sweat and tears :) as long as we all have fun in the end thats all that matters yall

[ohnoanotherficblog]

HOW SPIKEMUTH GOT CIVIC INFRASTRUCTURE

Chapter One: Fuck that Evil Fairy Godmother

...

dumb fic i had a idea for while playing pokemon sheild. hope you enjoy

...

CWs: Gambling, Alchol (in good fun but still) also im on mobile so long post

...

While the Galaran Gym Challenge tournament is indeed the greatest gaming event in the Galar region, there is one little known event known to precious few amoung the high elite of Galar that also does hold the same amount of joy, nay, jubilance: Gym Leader Poker night.

Held usually in the castle of Hammerlocke, the game was full of shouting, cursing, Piers's karaoke machine, and usually, a little too much booze.

Unfortunately for today, Raihan had business to attend to, and no one else wanted to do it. So the others all drew lots, and naturally, Piers had to pick the smallest.

Better of this way. Raihan usually wipped the floor with everyone but Opal, Alister, and Piers anyway. Really, the game was mostly for a game of competitive fun, and so Melony and Nessa could have their own little side mission of passive aggressively seeing whos cocktail recipies were more well liked.

At any rate, game night was on in Spikemuth. And it had been a LONG time since Piers had visitors.

Everyone seemed a little uneasy coming in. Milo offered to help clean the place up, which Piers said was a very sweet offer, but him and his flowers would grow better anywhere else. Melony and Nessa did not comment, but Nessa's stupid, snotty little face said everything. Kabu started a lecture, which in turn almost started a fight, until Melony came with more booze. Opal took every penny that night, and at the end, Piers could not be more glad to be rid of everyone.

He journeyed back to his home and kicked off his shoes, and snorted. Ugh... everyone was so overbearing. And Opal looked so intense all night, no wonder she took home everything. Like a terrifying fairy godmother, that woman.

Piers snorted to himself as he undressed down to an undertank and boxers. How many years of being co-workers, and the old hagbag hadnt so much as visted? what a joke. She could get lost for all he cared. He didn't need to give her the satisfaction of being terrifying, even in his head. The witch was probably more scared o 'im!

Thats when he heard a knock on the door.

"Look, whatever you're selling, I dont want it," he called back through the doors, turning on his TV. The doorbell rang, and he rolled his eyes, than froze.

He didnt have a doorbell...

"Okay. Who is it."

"Its me," came Opal's voice. "I have something for you."

"Whatever it is, I dont want it. Scram."

"Dont make me break down this door."

"Don't make me call in my crew."

Suddenly, her tone shifted dramatically, from fairy godmother to angered unseelie.

"Listen, punk, if you dont open this door, I will insure everything you know and love is pink and glittery in a way that hurts your eyes for the next several months."

Piers side, internally unnerved. His eyesight was badly adjusted as it was...

"Fine." Piers opened the door. The wench was standing on his porch in her elegant poker attire, staring at him intently. In her hand she held a throughly too decorated envelope.

"For you. Tonights poker winnings. Use it to better your city, or else I'll make things needlessly complicated for you. Paperworks. Audits. The whole shebang."

Piers looked at the envelope, seething with rage.

"Ill kill you for this. I need you to know how dead you are."

Harmless fairy godmother again.

"You wouldn't hurt a sweet old woman whos just trying to help, would you?"

"You're a menace."

"And you're a punk who needs to clean up his city."

Piers really didnt know what to do, so he growled. She chuckled, and left.

Stupid, Civic serving, kindly old witch.

[caz-is-gay]

so. currently actually sobbing bc i made the horrible decision to look through techno’s channel. i saw the gravity mod vid he posted after the announcement that he had cancer. i remember being so happy. sbi content! god. i still haven’t watched the video. yknow the one. a year ago i tried to watch squids video on part of the potato war. i didnt get 3 mins in b4 i heard his voice (he was celebrating!! he was happy!) and started crying. maybe in a decade ill be able to watch it and smile. and ill be able to watch the new one, and old ones and laugh like i used to. i looked through the community posts. he really loved birds, didnt he? i feel so bad for his dad.

june 2022. worst month of my life i think. everything happened at once. on june 1st lizzy was over. i was so desperately in love with her. still in denial about the inevitable friend zone. we went to zydecos grad party! she left halfway through to call her ex. they got back together. the facade was broken. obviously she didn’t like me back and anything romantic with her is a pipe dream. (i mean who would ever love to be attracted to an ugly fat pig like me?) so lizzy is over. im trying to ignore the heartbreak. then i hear the news. techno died. my sister hears it from a friend and tells me. the ppl we have over dont get it. they dont get why it hits me so hard, and god i dont want to explain it. so i pretend im fine. keep hosting, keep being nice. every second is agony! i cry myself to sleep. that had stopped a few months ago. i wasnt suicidal anymore but god. 2 weeks later im starting to back to *normal* levels of summer break depression. my dad finds out. he loved techno. im gone again. my mom fonds out, she doesn’t know who he is., doesn’t know the other 3 ppl at the table have already been grieving. shes lost so many to cancer. “did you hear about that minecraft youtuber who died of cancer? he was only 23, its so sad” i didnt know what to say. “yes i watched him everyday for 4 years his videos were the only thing that could get me to sleep when i started having suicidal thoughts if not for him i wouldn’t be here and now he dead.” yeah.

i still didn’t get over lizzy for months. fantasizing about a life with her was my escape. it was unrealistic and i couldn’t think about her like that anymore. then my dad brought covid home from work. june 23rd, my mom almost dies. thats the worst day of my life. it was mcc day. i was watching it on my tv, because my dad went to see his parents and mom was sick. she had been in bed for days. she got sick a lot. she had bronchitis for 10 years at this point. i was taking care of her. she was obviously delirious. asking me to pour water on her because she was so hot. i didnt know what to do. i waited for so long. i couldn’t deal with this right now i needed to de stress not have more. it got too much, i called my dad and he said she must have high blood sugar. fuck. i looked at her insulin log, nothing written for 2 days. fuck fuck fuck. he told me, if she cant draw her own blood for a reading, call 911. so we did. she could have died. if i waited any longer she could have passed out and stopped breathing. she went to the hospital. medically induced coma, intubated. she had told us many times shed rather die than be on a ventilator. none of us mentioned it. she was in a coma for 2 weeks. woke up, had to be in vent for longer. she was finally extubated. she couldn’t talk but she managed to be sarcastic still. i had to hold back tears. best day of my life.

that month changed the course of my life forever. my disability was most likely caused by the mild covid infection i got b4 my mom got sick. my mom doesn’t have a fungal lung infection anymore. my parents are sleeping in the same room again, and going to therapy. my mom has a cgm and a cpap and is on top of her health.

i cant stand the sounds of artificial breathing after sitting next to her for so long. im more afraid of my future than ever. im still getting over my best friend (fuck being demiromantic man) and i am still crying over technoblade.

[keqingposting]

hi guys, not dead. just been busy with wrapping up school and stuff cause .. yknow. exams and stuff next year it's a bit foreboding

i made some updates to the keqing wall today, not much but i just found some old photos i never put up of her and i moved some other photos around too. i've also got a cabinet for my keqing figure now so i'm going to move it upstairs at some point and put it in there alongside the stuff i got from amazon whenever i got it. i'm gonna get an ita bag to put the badges in too (i mightve mentioned this already, but. dont remember so this might be me mentioning it again) and i'm going to start taking a look at badges off of etsy (and maybe a badger maker too? though theyre a bit hard to get hand of so that may take a while if i make the choice to get one, but it will be easier to get badges if i do that. ill probably get it once my school starts again as a thought and prayer) . i found this cute little keqing patch on etsy that i'm going to get to sew on this coat my dad gave me a couple months ago, alongside a few other genshin related ones so i might post a photo on this account if i buy them. for now i dont have any visual updates because i wanted to get the figure upstairs before i posted anything about it. i'm going to try and get it to line up with the keqing wall the best i can but i'll involve a lot of moving figures around and stuff and i'll probably have to take the lights out of the cabinets i already have put up against that wall temporarily to put the new ones up, and cause they're sandwiched between the wall and said cabinets it might .. take an hour or two to properly sort out. it's too late at the time of me posting this to make any changes to it now so i'll try and get it done tomorrow morning cause i need to get my bedding changed anyways

hope you are doing well keqing nation and i pray for a liyue chronicled banner for us all next update

(for extra good luck)

[tastyykpop]

[ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴᴛ ᴋɪʟʟ ʜɪᴍ]

Pairings: mafia boss!jaehyun x reader

♡𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡♡

Warnings: dom!jaehyun, brat!reader, yandere themes, orgasm denial, slight edging (like really slight), thigh slapping, ropes, vibrator, punishment kinda, creampie, unprotected sex (stay safe 🙏)

The glass in Jaehyuns hand shattered as he saw another man approach you. He was beyond pissed. Mostly at you honestly. You were basically letting it happen because to you, this was all fun and games.

It shouldn't be though.

Jaehyun was a dangerous man. Someone you really shouldn't be around and someone who had a lot of power, over anything and everyone. Most people were terrified of him and only idiots would dare to speak out of line. And if they were lucky, maybe, just maybe they'd make it out alive.

It all happened when you came to this bar for a good drink and a slight buzz. But here, there was always someone hitting on you. This someone happened to be Jaehyun. It was the first time you met him too. Unfortunately, like the idiot you were (and still are), you talked back to him. It wasnt because you were trying to be rude, but instead you were fed up with the way he was acting towards you. The small brushes on the shoulder and the hand on your knee was getting on your nerves. But what really annoyed you were his comments. Not realising who he was and the power he had, you got angry and gave him back handed comments.

You only stopped when you felt a sting to your thigh.

Luckily for you it was only a slap. Not a knife or a bullet. Jaehyun was never this gentle.

Everytime after that, you would still come back to the bar, in your usual seating and Jaehyun would always be there. He even remembered your favorite drink after the first few nights. How sweet. But now, he was seated away from you with a group of men, watching your every move since he couldnt be with you at the moment.

"Baby that dress looks so pretty on you." The guy sitting next to you commented. His tongue swiping over his lips to coat them in his own saliva.

"Hmm thanks." You smiled, knowing that an angry Jaehyun was watching you like a hawk from across the bar.

The man's hand began to slither up your thigh, dragging his hand up and down. It was nothing like Jaehyuns rough, yet loving hands.

"I want to get to know you more." You turned your head to face the man and raised an eyebrow. "Come home with me."

"Sorry, but I'm gonna have to say no." You took a quick swig of your drink and smiled.

"Come on baby. It'll be worth your time." The man took your hands into his and brought them to his lips.

Jaehyun was going to kill someone today.

"Im sorry," you pulled your hand away, giggling, "but I said no." The man was still relentless, grabbing your hand and placing it on his bulge. Your eyes lit up and you searched around the room to see if anyone was seeing what was going on, stopping on your boyfriend's cold eyes.

Jaehyun got up from his seat, walking towards you. Your hand pulled away like lightning. A groan coming from the man next to you. Panic filled your body as you knew someone was going to get killed, or injured.

An angry Jaehyun is not a good Jaehyun. Especially if someone touched his girlfriend. And he let that go too far.

"Whats my pretty girl doing?" Jaehyun pulled your hair to the side and lightly kissed your neck. It was odd hearing such a soft voice come out of Jaehyun, yet you could feel how pissed he was.

"I-i was just talking..." His hands grabbed your waist, digging his nails deep into your side. Jaehyun wasnt an idiot, but you tried.

"And who the fuck are you?" The man asked. You actually forgot he was still there. But he wasn't going to be for long, Jaehyun ripped out a gun and pointed it at the man before making sure the safety was off.

"The real question is who are you?"

"I-i..." the man stuttered, obviously threatened by the weapon in your boyfriends hand.

"I dont like waiting." Jaehyun cocked the gun.

"I-im no one s-sir my apologies." The man walked away as quickly as he could from the both of you. Jaehyun snickering at how pathetic he was.

"Im gonna killed him for touching you."

"No, you wont. You can't always hurt someone who talks or touches me."

"Dont talk back to me, im not in the mood." You got up from the bar stool and walked with Jaehyun to his car. A very expensive one at that.

"I dont care if your in the mood stop acting like a bitch." Your sparky comment took all of Jaehyuns power to not bend you over and spank you in public.

"Get in the car Y/N."

"No." Crossing your arms over your chest, you turned and walked away. That set Jaehyun off.

You were suddenly in the backseat of his car, your face pushed against the seat and your ass in the air. The dress you were wearing was barely covering anything anymore.

"Listen here you pathetic little slut," he whisped in your ear, "if i tell you to get in the fucking car you listen, understand?"

You tried to get out of the grip he had on you, but it was no use. It just earned you a smack.

"Stop moving and answer me."

"Yes." A sigh left your mouth as he let go of you and walked to the drivers seat, starting the car. Leaving you in the back flustered.

"Come on pretty girl you can take it."  Jaehyun was currently fucking you with a vibrator. The vibrations sending you over the edge as he kept moving it in and out at a slow pace. You grabbed his arm and dug your nails deep into him, hoping that he'd stop punishing you and fuck you for real.

"P-please.." You begged as you squirmed on the bed from all the edging he was doing.

Jaehyun ignored you and picked up his pace. The room was filled with a mix or screaming, moaning, and wet sounds, just how he likes it.

He pulled you in for a rough kiss, teeth clashing with each other. The rougher he was, the more passionate he was with you.

"Im gonna cum." You moaned out, pulling away from the deep kiss, having enough of all the toying from the man above you.

"No youre not." He ripped the toy out of you, ruining your orgasm.

"Aw look at that baby, guess you won't cum again for another month."

You glared at the man as he sat there with a playful smirk before he moved on top of you, leaning down to bite and suck on your neck, leaving purple and blue marks on your skin as a whine left your lips. You wanted more, but knowing Jaehyun you probably weren't going to get it until he was satisfied enough. But you knew he was going to give up sooner or later. The boner brushing against your thigh was not going to go unnoticed by you.

"Stop...teasing..." You tried saying as Jaehyun moved back up to kiss you again.

"Why should i?" He looked up with an eyebrow raised, "You werent exactly the nicest to me. So why should I be nice to you?"

You frowned at the older man ready to talk back again, but the sudden cold hand cupping your hot entrance stopped you. The lower half of your body was almost grinding on his hand for more friction. Jaehyun noticed and smirked at your attempts to get off.

Smack.

"Dont even try that." He kept the same agonizing smirk on his face, giving him a more sadistic look than before. Your movement stopped with a pout and you watched Jaehyun take his hand away from your core.

"Then ill just do it myself." You pretty much just pushed Jaehyun away from you and attempted to please yourself, but you knew damn well it wasn't nearly as good as Jaehyun himself.

"Look at the pretty girl trying to act all tough." Jaehyun cooed at you, taking your hand away from your core and pinning your hands above your head. "Have i not been punishing you good enough? Is that why your acting even more bratty than usual?"

"No," you shook your head at your boyfriend, "its the fact you going to kill someone just because they touched me."

"Well i have a newsflash for you princess," Jaehyun leaned closer to your ear and whispered, "theyre already dead."

"Y-youre insane Jaehyun..."

"But thats why you love me." You watched as Jaehyun got off of you, moving to find something in the very large closet you both shared. When he turned back, you expected another toy he was going to tease you with, but no. He had ropes in his hand as he walked towards you with the same sadistic smirk that you hated yet loved.

He tied you up effortlessly, only giving him a few hard times but that only ended with a few smacks to your thigh.

Jaehyun stood back looking at your naked figure, a small blush painted your cheeks as you felt small under his gaze. Yes, Jaehyun was rather proud of what he was looking at. The beautiful hickeys and bite marks that littered your thighs, neck, and chest. The red hand prints on your thighs wrapping around to your ass. And the crescent shapes in your hips from his nails digging into your skin. He loved all of it.

You could hear the sound of clothes dropping to the floor, but didnt bother turning your head, too embarrassed to look at him now that you felt more exposed with the ropes holding your wrists to the bed post.

"Spread your legs for me princess." The sound of Jaehyuns voice brought you back to reality. You looked at him, his eyes staring into yours waiting for you to do as you were told. But did you didnt move. Just adding more fuel to his anger. "I said spread your fucking legs." He growled. You did so a bit too slowly for his liking and it only ended up with him forcefully spreading them himself.

A quiet gasp left your lips watching as he began to slowly grind into you, making you feel his bare cock against your pussy. Your sighs and moans filled the room, jaehyun watched closely, taking in every whine and movement you made. He pulled back and you waited for him to continue grinding but no, he was inside you without warning, not giving you anytime to adjust.

Jaehyuns fast pace shook the bed and your wrists were chaffing against the ropes. Moans erupted from your throat from the pain and pleasure Jaehyun was giving you.

"Fuck, Jaehyun...."

Jaehyun moved his hand from your hips up to your throat giving it a tight squeeze, "Such a dirty mouth." His hips snapped forward making your eyes roll to the back of your head and more cuss words were choked out. Earning a disappointed head shake from your boyfriend.

The lewd sounds of your bodies filled the room as he continued fucking you into oblivion. If someone walked in, they would be sure to have the image of you being fucked by Jaehyun with his fingers in your mouth and hand wrapped around your throat all while being tied up, stuck in their head for a few months.

"You love being a brat huh?" Jaehyun started whilst making eye contact, "Cause you know you'll be fucked like the pathetic slut you are. Am i right princess?"

He took his fingers out of your mouth to let you speak, "Y-yes." You moaned out. A quiet chuckle rang through your ears.

"Needy little brat..." His pace was faster yet sloppy and you knew he was close. The bed rocked and the sound of skin against skin filled your ears. Jaehyuns grip on your throat not planning on letting go as you struggled for breath.

"Jaehyun....p-please I'm gonna-"

"If you even dare cum ill beat your ass." That changed your thoughts about even bothering to let go, knowing he wasn't playing around.

Just as you felt like holding it in wasnt enough, Jaehyun was already one step ahead and came inside you, riding out his orgasm with a low groan.

Jaehyun pulled out, removing the ropes from your wrists. They were as red as your thighs and they stung too the touch. Jaehyun, being the nice man he is, even though he was still slighlty mad, took the time to give you after care, applying a cream to your wrists and butt just so the redness would calm down and cleaned up the cum dripping down your thighs.

After all that he laid beside you, embracing you in his arms and kissing the top of your head. "My pretty girl." He muttered against your hair before the both of you drifted off to sleep. Although you were still angry that you couldnt cum.

[youngbeezer]

number 5 for the tiktok thing with jon toews?

Referenced Post

Prompt-- 5. Running into each other's arms after not seeing them for awhile (w Jonathan Toews)

A/N: Here's another blurb from the 14 oddly romantic things blurb set. I only have one more after this, so this series(?) is coming to an end. I have enjoyed writing all of these sm! Welcome back captain serious!!!

Thank you for requesting, hope you like it :)

Word Count: 1345 (these have been so long lately idk whats going on)

Warning(s): mentions of his illness(?), but other than that i dont think any!

join my taglist :)

The sound of my phone’s ringtone awakens me from my deep slumber. It takes me a few moments to come to my senses and to rub the sleep out of my eyes, and once I am able to recognize my surroundings, I realize that I am once again waking up to a cold and empty apartment. It’s been the same feeling for almost the past four months.

Like usual, after last year’s NHL season ended, Jonathan and I went back to Winnipeg to spend our summers there in his hometown with family and friends. But this time, when I went back to Chicago for work in mid September, Jon did not come back with me.

During December, he started to experience these symptoms that left him feeling drained and lethargic. So, after seeing multiple doctors, Jon thought it was best to stay back at home to try and better understand his condition and get his health back on track.

Unfortunately, my job as a teacher was still in Chicago and needed me back right away, thus preventing me from staying in Winnipeg with Jonathan during this difficult time for him. It was definitely hard on our relationship being so far from each other, especially since Jon was sick and I couldn’t be there for him. But, we talked everyday and we both are very comfortable in where we are in our relationship, so we made it work.

So far, Jon does not know much on when he will be back in Chicago, and right now it is starting to seem like the next time I’ll be able to see him is when the school year is over and I am able to go back to his hometown.

I am brought out of my jumbled thoughts when my ringtone goes off once more signaling I have a text notification. I reach over to my bedside table to retrieve my phone off of the charger.

‘Good morning, beautiful.’

‘Hope you have a great day, say hi to all your kids for me.’

‘Love and miss you.’

I let out a sigh and go to wipe off the few tears that I feel running down my cheeks. Coming up on that four month mark has been extra hard lately. I miss waking up to his lazy morning kisses along my back. I miss the way we move in perfect harmony when we are doing our morning routines in the bathroom. I miss his goodbye kiss he gives me every day before going to practice. I miss everything about him. I also feel like such a bad girlfriend not being able to be there in support and to take care of him when he has been dealing with such a scary and unknown illness.

I wipe off the few remaining tears lingering on my cheeks and go to text back my boyfriend.

‘Love and miss you too! I’ll call you on my lunch break xx.’

I go to get ready for my day since I have to be at the school by 8:00 AM and it is already nearing 7:15. I take a quick shower and quickly blow dry my hair. I make a quick pitstop to check my phone and find another message from Jon.

‘Sorry baby, I think I have a doctor’s appointment during your lunch break.’

‘I’ll talk to you later, love you.’

I frown a little at his message. First, I worry that he has another doctor’s appointment-- since last time I heard, he was getting better; and I also frown at the idea of having to wait all day until I can hear his voice.

Today’s gonna be a long day…

(...)

Today was a long day.

First, I forgot to bring in the worksheets I printed out last night for my lesson plan so I had to switch everything around. Then, one of my students scraped their knee during recess so I had to take care of them and bring them to the nurse’s office, thus making me miss out on my lunch break (where I wouldn’t have been able to even talk to Jon anyway). And now, I am putting bandages on the back of my heels where my wedges gave me blisters. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to look cute today instead of being practical since I walk around and stand all day long.

My students were just dismissed, so I am currently just organizing everything that I’ll need to have ready for tomorrow. Once I finish up, I gather all my belongings and start making my way out of the classroom. I make sure to say good night to my favorite security guard before trekking to the parking lot.

When I make it out of the school building, I immediately go to take off my wedges. As I look back up in search of my car, I stop dead in my tracks.

Standing in front of my car, with my favorite flowers in his hand, is Jonathan.

Everything that was once in my hands has now clattered to the ground as my hands instinctively move to cover my mouth in both shock and excitement. Tears start to gather in my eyes as Jonathan gives me a huge smile.

Once the initial shock wears off and I realize it is actually my Jonathan standing right before me in person, I let out a little squeal and start jogging over to him. He sets the flowers on the hood of my car as I get closer and opens his arms to welcome my body.

He stumbles back a little when I jump into his arms, but he quickly recovers with a breathy laugh and by tightening his arms even more around my torso. As his arms wrapped around me, tears flowed freely.

“Oh my god. You’re really here.” I cried out, clinging onto him in fear that this was all a dream and he would soon disappear.

“I’m here baby. I’m right here.” He soothed into my ear, running his fingers through my hair.

At this point I felt like I was just uncontrollably sobbing. All the pain and loneliness of being apart, and the stress of not fully knowing how he was feeling and doing-- all of it is over now.

“Hey, y/n-- baby, please stop crying.” He shushed into my ear, trying to calm me down.

“I missed you so much.” I hiccup out. I pull away a little from his embrace to instead cup my hands around his neck to get a good look at him. “You look so good.”

Before I can ramble even more, Jonathan leans in and kisses me. Our bodies pressed together and our lips molded as though we were never apart. His lips were softer than I remember and tasted sweet against my own. I could feel his breath tickle beneath my nose as my left hand moved from his neck to his head to card my fingers through his hair.

It eventually started to grow sloppy as both of us could not contain our smiles any longer. I let out a little giggle when our teeth clack once more which prompts us to break apart from each other-- but not before Jonathan gives my nose one last peck.

“I love you so much.” I breathed out.

“I love you too.” He beamed back. “Let’s go pick up all your stuff in the middle of the road, eh.”

I look back at my belongings, totally forgetting that I dropped everything when I first saw Jonathan. We both make our way over there and gather all my stuff up before making our way back to my car.

Jonathan’s hands card through mine, giving it a little squeeze before mumbling out,

“It’s good to be back home.”

I smile but raise my eyebrows just a little up at him and ask, “I’m glad you are too, but isn’t Winnipeg technically you’re home?”

He gives me one last little peck before murmuring against my lips,

“Wherever you are is my home.”

Taglist; @heatherawoowoo @barzysandmarnersbitch @joelsfarabees @hockeyplayerstories @barzy-xoxo

tagging a few mutuals as well,,,,

@lovereadinghockeyy @carepriceisgoodathockey @prettyboyjackhughes @2manytabsopen @frederikanderson @bb-nhlqueen7 @cherrybarzy @jamiesdrysdales @luukasreichel @gigissports @cherrylita

[of-faunsandyellowflowers]

It's been a long time since I've been on here, honestly the past few months have been crazy and stressful, and more so the past few weeks. I didnt think this would be the first post I make in a long while. Hell its 5am..... But my mom passed away tonight and idk what to do with myself. It doesnt feel real like at all. I dont know how I just watched another person pass away. I keep saying shes dead but its....it doesnt feel real.

But cancer is....the most awful illness. It truly is. One min she was ok, and the next it just went downhill and she couldnt even lift her head up.

I'm at least thankful she wasnt in pain when she went....

[itsmeevie01]

Bio!Dad Bruce Day 5-Overprotection

After Marinette had cried herself out, Bruce guided the duo back into the kitchen. Alfred sent them all a smile before he vacated the room. On the table were four cups of hot chocolate and some of the croissants that Marinette had made during her panic that morning. When they had all settled, Bruce turned to his daughter. “Marinette, are you willing to talk about it?” The girl hunched slightly, before she looked over at him with red eyes.

“I, I can try.” She looked off slightly, seemingly focusing on the cabinets.

 “At the beginning of August, there was a storm in Pairs. I think it made it on the news. Internationally, I mean. But… it wasn’t a storm. It was…it was this- “Here, Marinette’s voice broke and she paused to collect herself. “it was my friend. She had been turned into, into, into a- “Dick pulled her into a hug, and let the girl collect herself.

“Net, if you need to stop, we won’t push you.” His reassurance was received with a nod.

“No, I, I can do this.” She took a deep breath. “My friend was turned into a villain because she was upset about loosing a competition. After that, we learned very quickly that someone was turning people into, into Akumas- “both Bruce and Dick jumped at the venom in her voice. “My class has almost all been turned at one point or another. In Paris, we all have to be happy. We aren’t allowed to be upset, we aren’t allowed to have a bad day, we aren’t allowed to feel!” Bruce stared at her; his face carefully blank as he processed the information. A noise in the doorway drew their attention and the trio turned to see Tim standing there. He looked shocked and the tremor in this hand as he came to join them made it clear that he had heard what Marinette had said.

“Little Bit, hey, I’ve got you” as he had moved to sit down, Marinette had thrown herself at him. As the girl hugged her brother, the others present in the room glanced at each other. Their worry was clear, and if they had their way, the girl would be staying in Gotham until this threat was neutralized.

“Who is fighting these… Akumas?” Dick’s question snapped Marinette’s attention in his direction, and she paused before responding,

“Ladybug and Chat Noir have been fighting them for the last five months. And its not the Akumas that are the worry, it’s their master Hawkmoth.”

To say that Bruce was pissed would be an understatement. Why was it that he hadn’t heard about this? Even more worrying, why hadn’t the League heard about this villain who basically boiled down to an emotional terrorist. With shaking hands, he called Sabine, intent on getting answers.

He wasn’t sure what he thought he was going to hear, but shock that Marinette wasn’t handling the situation like Sabine thought she should be not what he was expecting. When he had proposed keeping Marinette with him, Sabine had given a firm no, claiming that their daughter had to get her emotions under control. She hadn’t had any trouble before, why should this be any different.

When Bruce had gone to talk to Marinette about his idea, she had given him a firm “no” as well. As much as she loved her father, she claimed that she couldn’t abandon her friends and family back in Paris.

That evening after dinner when he went to talk to Dick about what he had dug up while Bruce had been on the phone, he was shocked at the security that Duck had to enlist Tim to break for them to even have references in the first place. Once they had gotten inside however, they entered a world much different than the one that was presented to them before. The look they got inside of Paris reminded Bruce more of Gotham than he would like to admit.

After being told that he could not keep his youngest in Gotham (Her argument boiled down to the fact that neither city was truly that safe…) Bruce tried to hire a bodyguard. When that didn’t work, he started to drop suggestions for forms of self-defense. Eventually, Marinette had to look him dead in the eye and threaten to leave on the first flight out of the city of he didn’t drop it.

Over the next week, Tim and Marinette started to spar under Dick’s watchful eye to pacify Bruce, but the man didn’t truly feel any better, until his daughter huffed and offered to put a tracker in her phone that he could use to keep an eye on her. She also pointed him to two blogs that she said were pretty reliable. One, The LadyBlog was run by a girl who, in Bruce’s mind, took too many risks. The other one, The Lady’s Spots, was run by the girl that Marinette had said was turned because of losing a competition.

 After that, the topic fell on the backburner. They did, after all have Christmas to celebrate. The day was spent with the entire family converging on the house. Jason and Steph made appearances, and Barbra Gordan showed up as well. The day after, when the Kents had stopped over for a visit, Bruce had pulled Clark off to the side, and brought him up to speed on what he knew of the situation. Partway through the festivities, as he was working to keep Clark for flying straight to the French city, Marinette got a notification on her phone that sent her tearing out of the room. When she had left the room, Tim and Bruce also had their phones go off. When they went to check, they found Akuma alerts and directions for civilians filling up both blogs. An hour and a half later when Marinette came back down, looking more than slightly angry, the others were quietly talking about the fight they had witnessed. When Clark had gone to ask her questions, the girl deflected, citing the fact that it was a holiday (even though it was technically the day after) and therefore they would not discuss depressing topics.

After Marinette returned to Paris, it was not uncommon for Bruce to have at least one of the blogs up in the background, grasping at straws, trying to find a way to help his little girl.

Heyyy

so the plan is, once this month is over, ill go back and fill in the big important days that im glssing over. right now, however, im trying to start on that plot that i mentioned. im not sure hoe long it’ll take me to the plot fleshed out, but it’ll probably carry out into a bit of october.

in other news, its Labor Day Weekend for me and that means that im going to have zero free time. each day will be posted, but dont be surprised if they are pretty short for a few days.

[ivyuns]

landing in my heart: secret

han jisung

genre: angst 

word count: 2.6k

warnings: lost in north korea, violence, mentions of chopping a head off, military stuff, mentions of car accidents, weapons, mentions of ending life and disorders (at the end), grammer mistakes, if i missed anything, lmk :)

part two of landing in my heart

landing in my heart information

2001

“y/n, choose your future!”

from that day, you always made the right choices. looking in front of you, you saw items which predicted your future by grabbing an item. instead of an item, you grabbed your fathers hand.

till that day on, you successfully opened your own fashion store. cutting the ribbon for your grand opening.

now that you heard jisung telling you to take the right path, you went to the other way. the night when jisung pulled you and hid you in his chest, you looked up in shock.

“oh my. i cant believe we met again”

“i thought you left”

you start flirting with jisung to get your way with him. smiling while jisung stares at you. ‘should i just kill her’ jisung thinks.

the following morning, you wake up and see yourself in the mirror. face full of marks and cuts. grabbing a cup of water and pour it into the bucket, you clean your face. “its okay, you’ll get through this yoon y/n”

as youre telling yourself to calm down in the bathroom, jisung makes you breakfast. “i-i dont know what you guys do but we usually give the host the first bite” you said, giving jisung a spoonful of the food, he stares at you.

“what wrong?” you asked. jisung sighs and crosses his arms. “are you concerned of whats in the food? because its poisonous?” putting the spoon back onto the food, you gave you. “im sorry if i offended you. but please do understand why im acting like this. wouldnt it be ridiculous for me to be trusting someone at this point?”

“hm, i guess youre right” lifting you head, you smiled. “see! i was correct-” “but you made an emergency landing at the DMZ while flying an unpowered aircraft on a windy day. right as the electric wires were working, you crossed it and came to a military housing area. ill sound crazy to believe someone like you”

“dont tell me youre suspecting me, thinking im a - spy. in fact i believe people are looking for me considered im famous down there” you paused, “one everyone knows im here, the south korean government, military authorites, and the UN wont stay still” jisung nods his head in agreement. “then, nobody should know youre here. i wont tell them”

jisung stands up and gathers your plate. hearing a knock, you look at jisung as he goes and looks who is here.

looking outside the gate, he sees hyunjin outside. “ah, captain han. i didnt know you went home early so i looked everywhere for you. so i knew you were home when i saw smoke from the chimney” hyunjin says and goes inside jisungs house without permission.

“oh and good news. about that south korean girl-” “listen she’s” “shes dead!” hyunjin laughs. “i know youre shocked too because i am too! there was an accident on the mountain and reporters said there was a young woman there” jisung shakes his head, “no thats not it hyung-” “aye, if im wrong then you can chop off my head” jisung nods his head and leads hyunjin back to the gate “wait let me use the bathroom real quick”

as both of the boys went to the entry way of the house, hyunjin takes off his shoes and talks about you. as he takes his shoes off, you went to lean on the door frame. hyunjin turns around and gets scared of seeing to woman he was talking about.

“how do you chop someone’s head off? ive never done it before” you spoke. with hyunjin’s mind going everywhere, he manages to speak to jisung. “c-captain han, whats going on here?” after realization, you realized he was the one who tried to shoot you. “y-you. it was you! you shoot the bullet at me!”

settling down, jisung rubs his temples as you tried to explain hyunjin that youre not a spy. “do you have trouble understanding or something?” “captain, do you have a shovel i can borrow?” you explain everything that had happened when you ran away, hyunjin gets scared and sits next to jisung.

moments later, another knock comes from jisung’s gates. opening the gate, he sees seungmin, felix and jeongin with food and drinks. “captain han! did you hear the news? the one with the young lady-” “thats not true” jisung cuts off felix.

“you must be jeongin” you called out. jeongin turns around and sees you. “yes, and who are you?” crossing your arms and leaning on the door frame, “i heard you might face a dishonored discharge. that means youll lose the job that you really need” you told him with a scared hyunjin next to you. “i-i thought she died!” jeongin screams and turns to the other two men next to him.

“and ah! youre felix! so tell me, which kdramas did you watch before leaving the post?” you pointed your finger at him. “stairway to heaven” felix answers. “ah thats a pretty old one. its the one with jiwoo and sangwoo right? im close to them, they live a few houses away from me” “is that true?!” felix smiles as seungmin tells him to stop.

telling everybody to come inside to talk, you demand them to take you back where you first landed in north korea. “im afraid we cant do that” jisung answers. “captain han, just let her be. let her get fried in the fences and say ‘so this is how the fences feels like’ if she’ll ever learn” hyunjin laughs out. giving a death glare at him, he stops laughing and puts on a straight face.

“basically, we cant go back to the post because we finished our job for two months and cant return there for a few months” jisung continues. “but you have a choice; i take you to the state security department. they may let you go home. or you stay here but heres a few rules. one, dont talk to us. and two, dont leave the house until we get you back home” jisung finishes. “my dad does a boat-to-boat. where a small boat goes to the international oceans and meets up with the bigger boats to another country” felix tells you.

nodding your head and agreeing with the second choice, the boys goes and makes you food since you were begging them to give you meat. after the food is done, you all eat as jisung steps back. “we must return to our post after this” jisung speaks out. “what? so i have to be alone now?” you exclaimed. “yah, do you just expect captain han to just stay here with you?” hyunjin jokes. “if you need anything thats urgent, press 8 on the cell phone and ill answer it in the outerpost”

instead of calling him for emergencies, you only called him, asking silly stuff. asking wheres the body wash, shampoo, and conditioner and wheres the candles, he responds with the bar of soap. you then call him how to take a bath since theres no modern showers inside his house. “you need to fill up the bucket with hot water. then take the tarp and hang it up with the clothes pin above the bucket. make sure to tuck the tarp under the bucket so theres no airflow. youll have your shower after that”

doing what jisung told you, you were surprised on how they lived. finally finishing, you went in the bucket after taking your clothes off. “ah this feels nice”

jisung, who was still in the office, got another phone call. “what is it now- ah master sergeant, whats the matter?” jisung answers to the sergeant. “its about the tomb raiders. they were killed in an accident on the mountain” jisung quickly hangs up and goes to the security state department and tell cheolgang.

he shows his military id to enter the place before the other military men opens the gate for jisung. as he goes to the room that cheolgang is in, he tells him what happened. “yes, i know what happen. but what can we do” cheolgang asks. “i believe there needs to be an investigation. what car did they crash into? was it on accident or on purpose? if it was on purpose, who was behind this? and why accidents like this keeps happening. so im asking if i can look into it” jisung says. cheolgang nods his head “go ahead. you should go to the headquaters in pyongyang tomorrow morning and get more information” he answers. jisung gets up and leaves.

the senior coloniel, who was next to cheolgang the whole time, asks cheolgang whats going to happen now. “dont worry about it, we hired somebody since hes responsible for a billion won scheme”

china.

minseok and his bodyguard enters the hotel where theyre supposed to meet someone. after finding the person, they talk about how minseok should be safe in north korea after passing through the other countries without being caught by sehyeong. minseok signs the contact and goes to his new home in north korea with extra protection.

back in north korea in the village, the kids were playing outside as you were still hidden in jisungs place. the mothers came out and gather their kids since it was dark and late and was now time for dinner. however, upil didnt leave until his dad showed up.

as manbok calls his son’s name, upil goes and hugs him and enters their house with upil’s favorite donut.

meanwhile in jisung’s house, you finished your bath and the lights go out. “whats going on? havent i had enough suprises today?”

the whole village had a blackout and you were scared. making your way to the telephone, you called jisung. only to be declined. you were hearing noises and you felt like you were going to be caught soon. closing the blinds, the noises were getting clearer.

grabbing the nearest item to hit the intruder, you were stopped as you saw jisungs face. tears threatened to spilled as your emotions came down are you. “why are you here” you said, lowering the item. “you said you needed a candle” jisung grabs the candle from the bag and gives it to you. “you said you needed it when you took a bath and when you sleep” “thats just a candle. i need a scented one” more tears spilled and jisung takes the item out of your hand.

“im sorry, you probably feel frustrated right now. but i just cant believe what im going through right now” sobs left your mouth as jisung guilty.

ranting to jisung about your problems back in south korea, you couldnt help but spill more tears. feeling frustrated at yourself back then, you felt bad for jisung since you were just crying in front of him. jisung puts his finger on the flame of the candle that was on. “there, i cant see you anymore” jisung reassures you that everything will be okay soon. he gets up and grabs his hat. “where are you going?” “i need to get on a train in the morning to pyongyang” he answers

“i dont know when ill be back so i might not see you when you leave. but my comrades will help you get on the boat in a few days. heres some things i bought that you needed” jisung says and hands you a bag and leaves the house. you open the door before he could leave.

“excuse me, but what is your name? i want to remember it to return the favor later” “you dont have to, there was no favor in the beginning. so its better to not remember it. and as i said before, dont tell anyone about this when you go back” nodding your head, jisung leaves the place.

going back inside, you open the bag and its full of the stuff you asked for earlier. looking at every product, you realize its from south korea. everything that you needed was in the bag, including undergarments and medicine for your cut.

jisung arrives pyongyang. hes then stopped for an investigation. jisung is led to a torture room to be questioned about the robbers. myeongseok enters the room and sees jisung being yelled at throught the glass window. he barges into the room and kicks the person who was asking jisung questions and aggravating him. “what are you doing? this is the directors son” myeongseok yells at the person, who is shocked.

myeogseok apolgizes to jisung and leads him somewhere to let jisung tell him what he needs to know.

the person who was just yelled at calls cheolgang and tells him that jisung is the directors son of general politics and gets angry.

later the night, jisung and myeongseok are talking about how jisung was to investigate into the car accident recently. “do you perhaps think this accidents was like your brothers?” jisung thinks to what myeongseok ask, and realizes the accident could be like his brothers. the same truck that ran into his brothers car and the others that the trucks ran into.

after company five visited you, they came back to the military zone to get some rest. they happened to see cheolgang leaving the place and quickly straightens up and salutes him. “fifth company, where are you guys coming from?” cheolgang asks. “from fixing the pump in out captains house sir” hyunjin replies. “ hes in pyongyang so good job”

“yes sir. may i ask where youre heading sir” seungmin asks. “lately were have lots of runaways so im going to run random house inspections today” “tonight sir?” hyunjin asks. cheolgang nods and felix starts hiccuping. “whats wrong with him?” “nothing sir. we missed what was in front of us, therefore the runaways must be in the military base. i believe that is a wise plan sir” hyunjin responds quickly. cheolgang nods and tells them to hurry inside and get some sleep.

they quickly go inside and hyunjin calls jisung as seungmin makes sure nobody is coming inside the room theyre in. “captain han, theyre doing random house inspections tonight. but we told the south korean woman not to answer any phone calls. so theyres no way to tell her” hyunjin tells jisung. jisung then hangs up and asks myeongseok for a favor.

jisung quickly drives back to the village as cheolgang arrives in front of jisungs house since is was the next house on the list. seeing the lights on, he doesnt believe that jisung is back from pyongyang.

looking through jisungs stuff, you look into a book that seems familiar. opening the book, you see an application form. “i swear i saw this face before” you were disturbed by your thoughts when you heard knocking. “captain han jisung! were here for house inspecting!” putting everything away, you hid in jisungs kimchi cellar, which was underground. cheolgang unlocks the gate and finds jisung as he sees the cellar’s blanket off of the door.

opening the door, the investigators finds you and clucks their guns. as youre forced to get off of jisungs property, everyones asking you questions as your hands are up in defense and silent. “it doesnt matter. once shes at the state security department, these muted people will talk” cheolgang says.

as a bright light flashes through, everyone stops and looks at the car in front of them. jisung stops the car and gets out to walk towards you and cheolgang. cheolgang suddenly aims his gun at you as tears fell.

“what are you doing to my fiancee?”

“what did you just say?”

“i would appreciate if you put the gun away from my fiancee”

additional ending:

location: switzerland

“its invalidation in our institute regulations, im sorry” the woman tells you after your request. “but why? i heard i can end my life here sure i have no physical pain, but i feel extraordinary pain in my mind. depression, panic disorder, eating disorder, insomnia, what all do i have to name? ” you questioned.

“we always recommend the sight seeing of switzerland to our visitors. most of our visitors change their minds after sight seeing. i dont know why you want to end it, but im sure youll be one of them”

after doing what the woman had told you, you went to visit a place where you can paraglide. amazed at how amazing paragliding looked, a guy stopped right next to you, admiring the view with you.

[just-a-fangirl13]

MacGyver s5 theories..Time jump? MacRiley? Trust issues and more

OKAY! So we finally got our first (3) SNEAK-PEEKS at 5x01 and I have soo many thoughts.

Here are the links incase you missed it: https://just-a-fangirl13.tumblr.com/post/636474561109639168/the-new-sneak-peeks-for-macgyver-5-01-are-out

Firstly let’s talk about the elephant in the room...The TIME JUMP....? 

MacGyver writers really like their time jumps. From season 3 to season 4 we lost about 18 months, and in that span of time the Phoenix shut down, Mac and Desi dated, lived together, had a pet? and a “nuclear breakup” and then proceeded to live their lives, Riley also started seeing someone then moved in and had been living with him (Aubrey) for about 6 months and of course Bozer directed his own movie. So clearly a lot happened.

This 10 month jump might not be as eventful (or can it be?!) since it seems that the writers have included the pandemic into the storyline. Now if the characters were quarantined like we were I have tons of questions..

IS THE PANDEMIC OVER IN THEIR WORLD? WAS IT A DIFFERENT KIND OF PANDEMIC OR COVID? WHAT ARE THE REPERCUSSIONS?

DID THEY STILL GO ON MISSIONS? or were they literally just doing nothing like the rest of us? *I wonder if Mac burnt down the house....hehhehe*

DID RILEY MOVE OUT? or was she stuck quarantining with Mac and Desi?

DID MAC AND DESI BREAK UP? I cannot imagine them quarantining together for 10 months and maintaining their sanity. 10 months is a long time for MacDesi and if they survived it... It is possible them breaking up this second time around (for MacRiley to happen) just got a whole lot more complicated.

So there are 2 possibilities because we know Mac and Riley have to happen at some point RIGHT?!! *I WILL LOSE IT IF THEY DONT*

1. Mac and Desi broke up a few months in and this press release photo has more going on then meets the eye. At face value it seems like Mac and Desi might still be dating but I doubt that very much. Why? ill talk about that in a minute. Also if they broke up a few months (into the 10) that would leave sufficient time for Mac to get his head back in the game and if he and Riley happened then she wouldn't look like a rebound. (OH GOD PLEASE BE THIS!!)

2. Mac and Desi haven't broken up but knowing their track record they haven't exactly had a smooth 10 months. Now this would mean that when they do break up eventually, (there is a certain chance they may not at all and MacDesi might be endgame...NOOO) we will actually see it happen but I dont know why the writers would want to risk pulling the show down by anchoring Mac and Desi in this chaotic relationship not a lot of us are even fans of and slowing down the whole timeline of things. This is the theory I am not a big fan of but I guess we will know in the next 48 hours.

Okay now that we have the relationships out of the way lets talk about the plot.

We know Codex isn't done yet. LeLand is still out there and they seem to be the main focus this season. Again we dont know much about this and only time will tell. 

The team does seem to be back and going on their usual missions but you have to remember there are around 4-6 episode from the original season 4 that never aired (due to covid). Plus the show runner changed so it will now be an alternation between the old s4 episodes that are definitely more Codex focused and the usual missions that might somehow tie into the big picture (even if they dont im not complaining!) This will give them time to develop the other plot lines and hopefully give us some happy moments too! (can we not kill anymore of Mac’s blood relatives? oh wait THEY ARE ALL ALREADY DEAD!!)

Another HUGE THING that I am very happy that the writers decided to tackle in terms of inter personal drama is trust issues.

As we all know when Mac kinda-sort-of went rogue towards the end of season 4, Riley was the only one who had complete faith in him while Matty and Bozer knew there was clearly more going on....BUT Russ and Desi didn't stop for even a second to consider that Mac might be doing the right thing. 

Now you have to know this. Russ and Desi are not only new to the team but the world is very black and white for them. (Desi more than Russ actually) While Russ did some very gray area things he always thinks like a soldier just like Desi. For them people are mostly good or bad. You cant do (kinda) bad things for good reasons.

As we saw in the sneak peek where Russ doubts Mac and Mac gives Russ a piece of his mind about not trusting him, there is definitely a lot of conflict going on. (I expect Mac to have the same issue with Desi because if I remember clearly unlike Russ, Desi never apologised to Mac about holding him at gunpoint. How pronounced that issue is and if Mac and Desi break up because of it..only time will tell.) 

I have to say though Mac telling Russ off was pretty amazing. It seems like he’s finally talking his mind and not taking shit from people. I cant wait to see more of sassy Mac!!! (wonder what brought that out...hmmmmmmmhmmm)

The events of season 4 are definitely going to influence a lot of what happens in season 5 and I cant wait!! Less than 48 hours to go!!!!!!

P.S. One more quick thing. Everyone has been saying that since MacGyver now has a LA unit Jack might be back since George Eads wanted to be closer to LA but all the shooting for MacGyver happened in Atlanta so that problem might have been resolved (I dont know how likely or unlikely that is its just something that came to my attention).

Also our favourite psychopath aka Murdoc could show up in S5 too since David Dastmalchian the actor who portrays Murdoc is also in LA right now (or at least he was till the 29th of Nov) along with Meredith Eaton for whom travelling to Atlanta is dangerous because she has several health issues. (I am happy they haven't written her out completely just because of COVID) We shall just have to wait and watch!

[dirt-cup-draco]

Platonic!Fred x Reader- Spark

Hey can u do a post war ,platonic angst list 45 24 an 17 w/ fred weasley ?

Fred sighed deeply after another long but fulfilling day spreading whatever joy he could with George there to be the positive one when he couldn’t quite manage it. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy, for Merlin’s sake he should be dead! He was thanking the gods every second of the day, yet he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. 

“You missed a spot,” George poked fun as Fred drifted into his own mind. Fred rolled his eyes but his grip tightened on his cane as he leaned against one of the shelves, using the rag attached to the bottom of his cane to wipe at the window where some kid had put their sugary fingers all over. 

George watched Fred as he slouched, cleaning halfheartedly. “What’s been going on with you lately? It’s like you’re not really here...” George’s voice was soft and loving and Fred was grateful for his twin’s strength and compassion every day. 

Fred shook his head, shrugging his shoulders as he hobbled to his brother. His leg ached more than usual today and it had put him in a sour mood. “Just been thinkin’ about when we were in school...” 

“Good times,” George smiled fondly, a glint in his eye that had never left. It was hard to find that same spark in Fred these days. 

Fred hoped that he had placated his brother’s worries and he was certain he had, as he had made it halfway up the stairs before George surprised him. “Is it Y/N?” 

Fred’s cane rattled out of his hand and clanged against the swirling stairs. Cussing he gripped the rail, trying to move his trick knee so that he could begin his descent but George jogged easily to the steps and grabbed his twin’s cane, bringing it up to him. With a flick of his wand, that was more for show than necessity, the doors locked and the lights went out as they finished ascending the last few steps into their shared apartment. 

“I take your silence as a yes...?” George asked cheekily as Fred sank into the nearest recliner with a huff. 

“No,” Fred said but George raised his eyebrows in a look that told him: I know better you git, tell me the truth. “Fine, maybe. Yes. I don’t know! She keeps sending letters...” 

“And you haven’t answered any of them,” George pointed out, making his way to their cluttered dinner table, lifting a stack of letters that got larger everyday. Guilt coursed through his veins. 

“I just-” 

“Can’t deal with how you broke her heart?” 

“Seriously, George?” Fred had to ask as his brother drove in the point. He was right though. It’d been months since he’d last seen you and you had tried reaching out every day after. 

“I love you Freddie, but she’s been everything to us, to you, and you broke her heart...” 

“Why do I have to be the one to make things better?” Fred scowled. “Dont act like you can’t reach out either,” 

George’s eyes lit up with an untold secret and a sly smile worked it’s way onto his face. “I have, actually,” He admitted with pride. “We get tea, you know the place, every other week,” 

Fred’s eyebrows scrunched together in the center of his forehead as he thought of George sitting across from you with tea in your hands. Did you still blow on the tea before every sip in the hopes you wouldn’t burn your tongue? Did you still trace the patterns on the teacups because you found them pretty? Did you still try to give mock lessons about the grounds in the bottom of your cup like you did after you’d grown tired of Trelawney’s  classes? 

“H-how is she?” He asked, sitting up in his chair as it groaned beneath him. 

“You’d know if you checked her letters,” George pointed out, tossing one of the neatly addressed envelopes into his brother’s lap. “She asks about you a lot, but she also tries to hear it from you. It breaks her heart that you’re shutting her out like this...” 

“She’s better off-” 

“Without you?” George scoffed. “Being a fool is a part of you and me but I didn’t think you were daft Freddie,” 

Fred frowned that same frown that seemed to take up more time on his face than his smiles did and it hurt George to see how his injury and PTSD from the war had changed him. Fred was still a child at heart and George knew it but he had aged incredibly fast in the past few months. It had been two years since the war but something had happened and it was like a switch went off. 

“We were doing so well,” George explained, kneeling before his brother, hands gripping the arm rests. “All three of us... What happened that ended all of that? What happened to you?” George begged softly with Fred. His brother’s pain was his, yet it seemed Fred was determined to shut him out.

Fred stared at the wacky pattern of his neat slacks, not knowing what to say. What could he say? He was worried about your safety because one night you’d woken him from a nightmare and he’d thought you were a death eater? That he’d held his wand to your throat and it had taken him crucial minutes to realize that it was you? That he’d left you crying in your bed while he laid on the couch unable to sleep? That the very next day he’d broken up with you, forced you out of the apartment? 

“Right after you were injured... and the months following- Y/N she never gave up on you. Even when you wouldn’t wake up, even when mom started to lose hope. Even when they wondered whether it’d be better to take your leg. Y/N knew what she was signing up for and she stayed Fred.  She never gave up on you. So why did you give up on her?” 

“I’m going to bed,” Fred decided. The questions were too much and the guilt was much worse. When George called his name in exasperation, he shut the door a little louder than he normally would. 

--

George found you sitting in your spot, already sipping at your tea. When you found him coming your way you gave him a grin and waved him over, pointing to the drink you’d already ordered for him. 

“In a rush?” George asked, lowering himself into the booth seat across from you. You shrugged, a gentle flush coloring your cheeks. “I have some...news. Thought it might be nice if we could get right to it without being interrupted,” 

George’s brow wrinkled and he fixed you with a long stare. “Everything okay?” His stomach was immediately in knots. He didn’t like surprises, hadn’t in ages. He loved surprising others but he didn’t respond very well to them himself. His mind kicked into overdrive when he wasn’t aware of something and his anxiety got the best of him. 

You reached forward, hand finding his as you gave him a reassuring smile. “Yes Georgie everything is fine. Everything is better than fine actually.” You grinned and it was the most radiant George had seen you since you and Freddie had ended things. “I’ve found someone,” 

George didn’t mean to choke on his tea, but how else was he supposed to react to such news? He hadn’t even known you’d been dating! “Wow!” He settled on, still trying to gather his bearings. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t hoped you and Fred would fix things. “I’m happy for you,” 

And you knew he was. George was one of your best friends, and you wanted him to know that you were doing well. You’d only hesitate because you didn’t want him thinking he wasn’t happy with him, or Fred. You loved them both dearly, even if the latter refused to speak with you. “He’s so great,” You gushed. 

“When do I get to meet the guy? I think he needs the Weasley stamp of approval first,” George pretended to look stern and tough but he couldn’t quite manage it. You smiled and he did too. George liked seeing you happy, no matter who it was with. 

You wrinkled your nose. “I don’t want to scare him off so meeting him might have to wait a while...” 

George scoffed playfully. “You’re embarrassed of lil ol’ me?” His mind twirled about for a moment longer and he felt more subdued when he asked, “Are you going to tell Fred?” 

“I-I... Well I don’t know,” You answered honestly, biting your thumbnail as a server came over and offer a refill which you gladly accepted. “Do you think he’d even care? The guy, he’s a muggle and well, I just don’t know when is a good time to introduce him to anyone, let alone my two- my only best friend,” You sighed, feeling glum.

Could you consider Fred your friend? You had no ill feelings towards him, you understood the war had changed him in a way you couldn’t understand. Your relationship had been a casualty of the last battle and you had come to terms with it. That didn’t mean you had come to terms with losing him completely. You wanted to be close to him like how you and George were. 

“Y/N, he cares,” George squeezed your hand, understanding where your mind was wondering. Suddenly he perked up. Why hadn’t he thought of this before?” “Come ‘round for dinner this Sunday, yeah? I’ll talk to him,” 

George could sense your hesitation, and you were very hesitant, but you knew that you’d have to see him. You wanted to see him for Merlin’s sake! You just thought he’d have answered one of your letters by now. 

“Alright,” You tried to smile. “Sunday then,” The things you did for George. 

--

“Y/N’s in a relationship,” Was the first thing George announced upon coming home and Fred didn’t think he’d heard his twin right. 

“With who?” Fred asked, sitting up straighter in his seat. “I mean that’s great! But still, who?” 

George shrugged, tossing his jacket over the back of the recliner Fred was seated in. Fred swatted it away onto the ground. “Don’t know. Some muggle guy, I guess,” 

Fred thought for a long second. Would you be happy with a muggle? You adored magic and the magical world, would a non magical partner be the best for you? He supposed if the muggle took it well then it didn’t matter... “Is she happy?” Fred asked, standing on quaking legs as George busied himself with tidying the kitchen. 

George paused in his busy work and looked to his brother, a smile playing at his lips. “Yeah Freddie, happier than I’ve seen since- y’ know,” It hurt, but not as much as Fred thought it would. It was good to know you were happy. Fred cared a great deal about you but he had laid awake for endless nights wondering what would become of you two if he looked at your letters and replied. Maybe you two would have gotten back together if he’d done it months ago but now he didn’t know. Now, he wasn’t sure what he wanted from you. For starters, he wanted to see you.

“She’s coming for dinner Sunday night,” George suddenly declared. 

“What?!” Fred stumbled over his feet for a moment, taken off guard. Yes he wanted to see you, but that didn’t mean he was ready to!

“It’s been forever!” George whined. “I want my two best friends back. I don’t care if you’re dating or not... I just want you to be friends again,” 

Fred pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh. “Alright, Sunday is fine,” The things he did for his brother.

--

You stood in the shop with sweating palms while George finished up the grunt work before locking the doors. He’d sent Fred up earlier to check on dinner and so you would be a bit more comfortable upon arriving. 

“You can go up if you want,” George commented as he tossed the last few sickles from the register into the safe for the night. 

“That’s alright,” you deflected, looking around the joke shop that you hadn’t been in since Fred had broken up with you. It was bittersweet being back. There were a lot of good memories and a few not so great ones. If you could go back... You weren’t sure you’d change anything. You loved Fred, that was true, but somewhere along the line you’d realized that you two had done your time and you simply weren’t meant to be. That didn’t make it any easier being here, however. 

“I’ve finished up, do you want me to go up first?” George asked, wrapping his arm around your shoulder so he could rub your arm. 

“That’d be great,” You smiled as George took the lead. You ran your hand up the railing as you went, relaxing at the familiarity of it. 

When you got upstairs you were met by a sight that had you gnawing on your lip in an effort to keep your laughter bottled up. Fred was surrounded by a few pots, which were all boiling quite violently, and a steady stream of smoke was beginning to rise from the stove. The windows were open but it did nothing to mask the smell of burnt food.

“I leave you alone for ten minutes-” George began, rushing to Fred’s side. 

“That was your first mistake!” The frustrated boy interrupted and you rolled your eyes as you tried to fight your smile. You shooed them to the side and turned off all the burners, opened the stove and turned it off. You removed everything from the heat and tossed them into the sink, the water from the faucet sizzling and popping against the extremely hot pots and pans. 

When all was said and done you stared at Fred with an amused grin. “How have you been managing without me?” 

“A mystery to us all,” George lamented. “Guess that means we’re getting take out?” 

--

Fred admired your constant calm, it was what had drawn him to you in the first place. He was always going, always laughing, always doing something. You, on the other hand were happy to just relax and take in the moment. You looked before you leapt and Fred needed someone like that in his life. You’d always been the reminder to slow down and he appreciated that as he watched you take care of his kitchen blunder. 

“Alright?” George asked, nodding to Fred as you all gathered at the table to eat the food he’d ordered. Fred found it hard to answer with your eyes on him. Especially when they drifted to the pile of letters that had been cleared off the table and now remained on their coffee table. 

“Y-yeah, thanks,” He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “So! Y/N, how’s the new boy toy?” 

“Fred-” George began but Fred held his hands up in surrender. 

“I’m just curious! Really, I just want to know how you’re doing,” Fred looked you in the eye for the first time that night and you seemed suspicious of him for a minute before you seemed to realize he was being genuine. Your shoulders drooped in relief.

“I’m doing well and Marcus is really great,” You smiled softly, thinking of your boyfriend. “He’s been a nice reminder that there is magic in the world- even for muggles.” 

George fake gagged and you smacked his arm, your smile not fading in the slightest. 

“And you? How have you been doing?” You asked. There were a million things you wanted to ask Fred but this seemed to be the safest option. 

George felt relieved when the two of you spoke politely. There was an underlying tension, from unanswered questions and a past that Fred had run away from, but other than that dinner was smooth sailing and he was glad that his idea hadn’t ended up in ruins even if it had started off rocky with the burned dinner. 

“This has been lovely,” He announced, setting his napkin on his plate as he stood, walking to your chair so he could press a kiss to your cheek. “But I am exhausted, have a good night Y/N,” 

Fred looked panicked but George sent him a pointed glare. Talk to her!

“Goodnight Georgie,” You gulped and watched as your mediator vanished to his bedroom.

Fred took a steadying breath. “Want a drink?” 

--

“Did you mean to forget me?” You asked after three strong drinks and Fred shoved himself deeper into the recliner. You were sitting quite stiffly on the couch, a throw pillow in your lap. You fiddled with the tassles for a second before taking another swallow of your drink.  

“I never forgot-” Fred started.

“You never wrote me,” You interrupted. “Are you afraid to lose me?”

Fred narrowed his eyes and you blew a piece of your hair out of your eyes. He seemed to be reprimanding you for interrupting him. You thought you had the right to ask questions, he had been avoiding you for months after all. “I figured I’d already done a pretty good job of losing you after I’d kicked you out... George didn’t talk to me for a week after that. Then you started sending letters and I just felt so damn guilty I couldn’t bring myself to read them, still havent’,” 

“Clearly,” You remarked, topping off your glass and then his. 

“Y/N,” Fred sighed. “What do you want me to say?” 

You shrugged. “I don’t know... I don’t mean to seem bitter. I really am happy right now, I just still have a lot of hurt from how things ended between us I guess,” 

“I admit that I probably handled it the worst way possible,” Fred conceded. “All I could think about was how scared you looked and how I didn’t want you to ever feel fear like that again. I’ve been seeing someone to help me work through all the damage the war did and it helps but George wakes me from nightmares still and I haven’t stopped lashing out. I care about you a lot, that hasn’t changed, but I think the way I care about you has- if that makes sense,” 

Fred was rambling a bit, but you understood what he was saying and where it was all coming from. You had been scared shitless that night, no matter how many times you’d reassured him it was you he hadn’t seemed to understand that until George had been woken from his sleep and calmed his brother enough that he could come back to reality. It hadn’t been a deal breaker, but Fred had made it clear you weren’t going to be coming back. 

“It does... I feel the same.” You agreed, running your fingertip along the rim of your glass as you avoided looking at Fred. “I was mad at you, did you know that? Not because what happened, but because it didn’t seem to matter all we’d been through- you just kicked me out and didn’t speak to me again... I wouldn’t be here right now if George hadn’t done something,” 

“That isn’t-” 

“True? Fred please, I know you better than you want me to. I know you arent thrilled, I’m not either... But I am glad this is happening. We need to talk about this. George is right about wanting his friends back because I want my friend back too,” 

Fred lit up a little bit. “You want to be friends? Do you think we could? Can you still love me?" 

You stood and Fred followed. You grabbed the hand that wasn’t gripping his cane and squeezed affectionately. “I don’t know,” You answered honestly. “But I do still love you, even if that love has changed. You’re an idiot Fred but you’re my kind of idiot and I’d like for us to be friends again” 

He smiled a smile that reminded you of when you two had been in school, running around and getting into trouble with hands linked together and hearts beating in unison. It was a smile that gave you hope that you two could be friends again and that the past would simply stay put. 

“I’d like that too,” Fred pulled you into a hug and you could feel him leaning against you as he let himself relax for the first time all night. 

The spark between you was gone, no fireworks to be had when you brushed your hands together or made eye contact. Despite that, there was still a glowing ember in the fire of your friendship and as you two embraced and healed old wounds it grew brighter, igniting once again.

It was good to have your friend back. 

Tag List: @angelinathebook @thehumanistsdiary @cleopatera 

Requester (is that a word?): @slytherinlovesgryffindor

[justmywriting1313]

I am alive!!

Heyyoooooo friends!!!! How are youuu? I hope you guys have been well and doing good!! I know there is so much going on with the game and in the world in general and i hope all of you are doing okay!!!! 

Okay soooooo I AM BACK… kind of… its a bit complicated… okay let me fill you guys in on whats been happening and whats going to happen. 😅😅

A little note before that: Before anything else is said or can be said a Thank you is in order!!! THANK YOU so freaking much for all the support the fics have been getting despite me being dead for a little bit on this blog. Like oh my freaking god you guys are so sweet and supportive and I promise I will reply to all the messages and the asks and stuff after posting this. But yeah I just want to say how sweet you all are and honestly its what pulled me back to the blog. Like I kind of considered deleting because you know i’ve kind of been not nice by leaving everyone hanging without saying anything since a lot has been going on in my life and yet you all sent such sweet messages reaching out. My heart is going to burst and i just cannot!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Okay so after this little emotional announcement/ spiel lets get to why I went away and when I will post next. 

So basically after the last  fic I posted I was like okay I need a little break cause I am starting to burnout and my passion for writing about our amazing demon bros was running out. So I was like okay a week should be good maybe two. So during the first week of my break I went out with a few friends who in hindsight were toxic and I met a boy who I kind of started dating but not really at the same time. (I don’t usually get into relationships because a) I eventually will have to leave to go back to uni and b) I don’t necessarily think relationships workout between people of my age.) 

So anyway he was really clingy and didn't let me do any kind of work which included fic writing and he started becoming really toxic which then made my mental health go down like whooooosh. So for a month in which I was seeing him I couldn’t do anything. Then he broke my phone so bad that I could barely see half the screen so after that I broke it of with him. But I still had to get my phone fixed. So after another three weeks in which I couldn’t play obey me and therefore not write much since inspo was lacking I finally got my phone fixed. Then guess what despite backing everything up, which I double checked, when I opened up the game it got me back to the start like I was playing if for the first time and I almost cried. The amount of money I have spent to get so many devil points and get all the cards I had... all of it gone in a single thing. I had worked so hard to have all those cards and save money plus i was a VIP member but all of it gone... I tried logging in with my apple ID but it did not recognise and I don’t know how to get my transfer password...  I got really depressed cause the game meant a lot to me you know. I honestly dont know what to do and I am too scared to reach out to the game company incase they reject me.

After moping about it I finally decided come back to the blog because a) I had promised so many fics and I loved writing for you guys and seeing how much you all connected to the writing and enjoyed it and I felt sad that I wasn't giving it out again, b) I missed writing about the boys and just you guys know how it is, c) I thought maybe you guys had ideas on how to get my progress back since I have no clue and am crying while writing this post. 

So yeah in summary it was a crappy time without both the game and you guys!!!! I also broke a toe, fell down stairs and got a concussion and also almost broke my wrist so safe to say its been hectic!

Okay so next is wether i will write again, finish the fics and all that... 

Heres the thing; the fics I had put in the masterlist, as in the ones I was going to post before all of this happened... those I promise to finish and post. Like I wont stop writing those ones until they are finished. 

About new fics I really really really want to but without seeing whats happened in the new lessons and seeing whats been going in the game and all the events I don’t know if I will be able to do a good job. I also honestly think its too hard to try and get to the level I had before cause it was a lot of money. Also a lot of the event cards I had before i wont be able to get again like the Beel animal chaos card I had. With that said if i can get my progress back then of course I will write... 

Okay for now thats it. If you guys have any idea on how to get my progress back by transfer password or any other ideas then please pretty please let me know cause ill be able to continue writing again. 🥺🥺As for any upcoming post I might put a small HC post or maybe the next part to a fic. Okay so byeeeee love you guys and yeah look out for the next post!! also will spend some time now replying to everyone! 

[duskrelyk]

tw suicide:

ya know i was just reading a post that lists reasons not to kill yourself

and maybe some of you know this, but i had planned for a about a year before i graduated high school that i would kill myself the night of the day i graduated

but i didnt, bc we were gonna go on vacation right after, and i waited

and then i was gonna go on a trip with an ensemble i was in, so i waited some more

eventually i didnt feel so bad anymore

but then something happened in freshman year, and it affected me so badly that i was gonna kill myself

but then i got a knock on my dormroom door from my ra so i stopped and answered it

and they talked to me for a bit

and i went to therapy

and after a bit i didnt feel so bad anymore

...

there have been several times since then when ive strongly considered killing myself

in fact, i wanted to as recently as a few days ago

but i was tired

i was gonna sleep and do it later

but then i didnt

and like

on the list that i read, one of the reasons was smth like "one day youll get past this and youll be so glad youre alive bc of all the new things you got to do"

and yeah

every time i couldve done it, and didnt, something good happened after. maybe the next day. maybe a few months later. but like, they definitely happened

and one of the reasons was smth like "you cant listen to music if youre dead" and damn if theyre not correct

music is everythinf to me, i dont wanna just stop experiencing it

and ik yall are probably tires of hearinf me talk about stray kids, but if i had died after graduation, in freshman year, etc i wouldnt have ever heard stray kids music, the music that gives me the most joy rn and mwans the most to me

and if i die any time soon, i wont get to hear their new music either

and its coming soon, so im sure i can manage until then

and maybe ill have something to look forward to after that, too

ig ill never know what i wouldve missed until it happens

and ik this post was long, and ik it was a lot, and ik i definitely overshared but

like

fuck, i might be overwhelmingly sad rn, but damn i dont wanna die

is it weird to say i wanna stay alive to hear their new music? is it weird to say i wanna stay alive so i can finally open the package that holds my skzoo plushies? is it weird to say i wanna stay alive to maybe see them in concert someday?

if it was somebody else saying that, id tell them theres no reason too small or too stupid or too weird to stay alive

because one reason is enough. no matter how small it may seem, if it keeps you here, then its the most important reason to you, and so its important, and so are you

maybe one day ill believe it about myself

[mousehole5000]

 tgcf lb the second. chapters 7-13

love that we’re getting fu yao and nan feng described as “two little pretty boys” amazing and completely as expected also everything theyve done is 10000% funnier now

The military officials heard their impromptu, slapstick live comedy and couldn’t help but smile. The dissatisfaction in their hearts had dissipated a lot, and they felt a bit more closer to the other three. This resulted in the sedan chair becoming much more stable. - tbh it is often true that if you make people laugh they are more likely to like you in my experience. to be fair what xie lian did was funny theyre a funny trio

okay time for some creatures and beings. base slaves do sound terrifying no thank you i do not like hordes. remind me a bit of husks from mass effect and those were the worst so. also xie lian wielder of silk ribbons i like it

im very :eyes: at fu yao and nan feng rn. i think theres more going on with them..... i have suspicions but we’ll see

well goodbye butterfly boy who crushes skulls and spiritual arrays and sick boots and taught me what a vambrace is. im guessing we shall meet again i have the strangest feeling that ive heard about you

In fact, all of the dead people in this room wore wedding garments while smiling even in death. - grim!!! spooky!!!

The moment he finished saying that, he pinched that corpse’s face twice. The youngster only felt that the skin beneath his hands felt smooth like tofu, making people’s hearts feel itchy.  - eww!!!! also dont feel up the corpse buddy wtf. also everyone leave little ying alone

Drip, drop. Drip, drop. This created the frightening scene of a forest filled with corpses as blood rained down from above. even more grim!! - happy halloween kids

When he heard Fu Yao’s explanation, Xie Lian thought in his heart, ‘This name was truly unnecessary. If it was a ‘Devastation’, then it was a ‘Devastation’. If it wasn’t, then it wasn’t. Just like how there were only the phrases, ‘ascended’ and ‘haven’t ascended yet’. There were no such things as ‘near ascending’ or ‘approaching ascending’. On the contrary, adding on a ‘near’ word made people feel awkward. - nevermind the deaths, xie lian needs to make some points about semantics. it has nothing to do with the situation at hand and i love it

QI RONG IVE HEARD ABOUT YOU FROM MY MUTUALS!!! terrified

Who knew how many times he had already said that phrase tonight. Every time something happened, Xie Lian would have to say it at least thirty to forty times. However, there would always be people who turned a deaf ear to his warnings. He felt truly quite helpless. - not sure if this is be xie lian is dressed up as a bride or if its just his bad luck. or if its bc thats just how people are. either way i feel you buddy

“Excuse me for this.” Xie Lian grabbed a hand from each bride before placing them on each other’s necks. The two brides suddenly touched something and were very surprised. Since they couldn’t see anything, they began to fiercely destroy each other. - xie lian stop being funny fjlkajdfs;kasj also right after this he goes into his street performer spiel upon being applauded. amazing

the visual of this fight with the villagers inside the ruoye loop and all the brides is pretty sick. also xi lian on the spirit phone to ling wen while the villagers cheer is very funny

heteronormativity obfuscates another mystery... but also a possessive jealous bride walking on her knees... thats quite a figure!! and tbh it is interesting that everyone assumed that the ghost was a bridegroom who didnt want to see happy couples and not a bride who didnt want to see happy couples. congrats xie lian for thinking

bruh she ripped his skull out and it screamed

i mean the indiscriminate killing of innocent women is bad but other than that im on her side tbh fuck this general pei guy

ow wtf i just cried a little bit. xie lian’s reassurance to little ying... her response.... wtf ;_;

As for the matter between General Pei and Xuan Ji, unless one was directly involved, it was better not to comment on who was right or wrong. He could only pity those seventeen innocent brides, the military officials and drivers who had escorted them. It truly was an unexpected disaster.  - valid. still sympathetic to her tho i just am

human face plague..... bruh. okay might have to alternate between reading this and watching hannibal not sure i wanna do those together

He really wanted to hang a sign on his back saying, ‘Ascension is not as good as collecting scraps’ and promote it in the mortal world.  - this lb is officially just funny xie lian moments now

The meaning behind his words were basically, the female ghost Xuan Ji causing trouble could not be blamed on General Pei, because she originally did not have the ability to cause it. If they wanted to pin the blame on someone, then they should pin it on Green Ghost Qi Rong, for it was him who took in Xuan Ji and gave her the ability to harm people. - told you. i was right to blame the men

i have indeed seen the donghua trailer so my suspicions that butterfly boy was indeed hua cheng being confirmed are just like. yep. exactly as expected.

i read the second half of chapter 12 on my phone so i didnt get any quotes but hua cheng rise to infamy funny. xie lian listening to it all and just going “hehe silver butterflies pretty” is also funny

i forgot that xie lian was in debt but im glad he paid it off good for him be free

After a while, Ling Wen really couldn’t stand it anymore and privately told him, “Your Highness ah, the things you send in the spirit communication array are all very good, however, I’m afraid that even a Heavenly Official a few hundred years older than you wouldn’t send them.” - fakhlsdfjakl; ling wen really told xie lian he was facebook grandparent posting in the spirit communication array

Since he couldn’t fix this, then it was still better to just forget about it. Xie Lian gave up on this issue, and as a result, stopped being gloomy as well. - you know what i respect that attitude i really do. xie lian said well ill just get over it and he did. i need to do this with twitter

However, this kind of problem didn’t exist for Xie Lian. With the curse upon him, he was no different compared to mortals, and thus could eat everything. And because he was a seasoned veteran of a hundred battles, no matter what he ate, he wouldn’t die. Whether it was a steamed bun that had been lying around for a month, or pastries that already sprouted some green mold, he would definitely be fine after eating those things. Since he had a constitution like this that defied the heavens, he actually got by alright during the period he collected scraps. - im sorry i know i keep saying it but xie lian is so funny i love him fjasdlfsdjfadksl literally king of eating garbage i love him so much

okay more hua cheng lore next time. and this interloper in the cart... ok