#if i keep momentum i should finish it tonight

[dollfacefantasy]

second thoughts ♡

toji fushiguro x fem!reader

your ex keeps popping into your head during sex with toji, so he'll just have to make sure you can't think at all instead

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, size kink, dumbification, mentions of intrusive thoughts

tags: @gor3-hound @nexysworld

"Right here," he growls, "Look right here. Right in my fuckin' eyes."

His large hand held your head in place by your jaw. He gives it a sharp jerk, jostling your thoughts into place. Making sure you're completely focused on him. His lower half thrusts against you hard and fast, stretching you out with each rock of his hips.

"'m lookin'" you whine, your lips parting as little mewls fly out.

"Good. Good girl," he grunts.

The muscles in his abdomen flex as he keeps pounding into you. He wasn't taking it easy on you tonight. He was determine to make sure you couldn't think of anything but him.

The past couple of weeks things had been off between you two. Since you started dating, your relationship had always been very physical. You had sex once a day at minimum, and when he wasn't inside of you, he had a hand somewhere on your body. He may have struggled with true intimacy, but physicality came easy.

The problem he'd noticed recently was you didn't seem as into it as you usually were. You seemed kind of spaced out. You got pretty quiet when you were typically vocal.

His first reaction was insecurity. Was he not pleasing you? Were growing bored of him? The possibility of that unnerved him to his core, but he tried to convince himself those couldn't be true. You never denied him when he initiated, and you still loved to cuddle and hang off his arm whenever you could.

After another round of you looking distracted while he was balls deep, he finally just had to ask.

"Sorry..." you'd said, looking up at him sheepishly, "I just... I'm having trouble focusing."

Your tone almost made him feel guilty for asking, but your reasoning didn't answer all his questions. He knew you had trouble with concentration and intrusive thoughts sometimes. He just didn't think it would apply to this.

"Focusing?" he murmured, ducking down to plant some kisses on your cheek, "Am I not doing it right, baby? You know... I'm open to pointers."

"No... it's not that. It's just..." you continue. You hesitate as to whether or not you should actually tell him.

"C'mon, angel face," he said, nuzzling your jaw, "You know you can tell me. I want you to feel good too."

"You do make me feel good," you reassured, "It's just that I can't get my brain to be quiet. And when we're doing it, I keep thinking of my ex boyfriend, and it doesn't feel good. I don't like him at all, it's just like my mind wants to bug me."

Even though the idea of you thinking about another man during sex causes jealousy to flare within him, he reins in the instinctive anger he feels. By the pained look on your face, you clearly were just as displeased with it as he was. And while it hadn't happened in a while, he couldn't pretend like he'd never had his late wife dance through his thoughts in the heat of the moment.

So he didn't make you feel bad about it. He sighed and told you it was ok. You wanted to finish though and so he got you both to finish. He held you after like always and let you fall asleep against his side, but in his own mind, he planned for things would be different next time. There was no way he was gonna let some other guy keep you from enjoying yourself with him.

That's what led the both of you to now. He keeps your gaze locked with his own as fills you to the brim. Your eyes are glossy but with the haze of pleasure now rather than distraction, and he can't enough of it.

"That's right, babydoll. It's all me now, isn't it?" he coos lowly in your ear.

"Mhm," you whimper and nod, your head bobbing extra from his momentum.

"No room for anyone else," he grunts and digs his fingers into the plush of your cheeks.

Your lips puff out under the pressure, and he leans down to mash his mouth against your own. The kiss is wet and sloppy, your saliva and his mixing together while he nips at your bottom lip. He ruts into you faster, his breaths growing more ragged.

"Fuck.. Toji," you whimper arching your back and pressing your tits up against his chest.

"That's all you're gonna be able to say when I'm done with you, sweet thing," he says.

You whine and nod. That was what you wanted. Just him. If he was the only thing on your mind, you were happy. A big, dazed smile drifts to your features to match your fucked out eyes.

"That's a biiiiig smile, princess," he coos mockingly, "Who's making you smile like that?"

"You are," you whimper.

"Right. No one else can make you smile like that," he says.

You nod again and yelp when his cock rams into a sweet spot inside you. He chuckles at the sound and lifts his hands to rest above your head, caging your body below his.

"My baby. You're all mine. Mine to fuck dumb every. single. night," he pants.

"Don't want anyone else. Just you," you babble and drag your nails down his back.

"I know it," he says.

He then quickly reaches down, securing your hips with an iron grip and fucks into you as deep as possible. You see stars stars and let out a sound you can't control. You tighten around him like a vise, keeping him nice and deep where you need him.

"My Toji," you slur and bring your own hands back up to slide through his hair.

He moans quietly, and his eyes flutter shut. His hips sputter a bit as he feels his release creeping up on him.

"Gonna cum soon, dollface. Get you nice and full of me so even when I pull out, you know who that pussy belongs to," he mumbles.

You mewl in ecstasy, eager to feel him shoot deep inside you.

It doesn't take long for you to get your wish. His body lowers against yours, his flushed, sweaty skin sliding against your flesh. He pumps into you desperately with a groan as he drains himself between your tight, velvety walls.

He lets it all sink inside you before pulling out. His cock is still slick with your arousal. He leans back and pushes your thighs up, taking a look at your pussy stuffed full of his cum. Just how it should be.

Up top, you were still blissed out. He huffs out a laugh at your drooping eyes and contented expression.

"How you feeling, baby?" he asks and crawls back on top of you to give you some lazy smooches.

You hum and rub your nose against his cheek. Words were too hard right now in the best way.

He smirks and nips at your nose teasingly.

"Head all clear?" he whispers.

"Mhm," you say with satisfaction, opening your eyes wider and taking in the face of the man who had you now, mind and body.

[ellieslittlewh0re]

𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐧 (𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏)

* ೃ⁀➷ part 2 - part 3

pairings - farmers daughter! reader x farmhand! ellie

summary - your dad hires a stranger to help out around the farm

additional tags - inexperienced but flirty reader, shy/loser ellie, cowboy boot wearing ellie, mutual pinning, slight masturbation mention (e!), e! w/ a southern accent??, eventual smut, (nothing too crazy happens in this part it’s mostly just setting vibes lol)

Beads of sweat collected on the bridge of your nose, and your thighs stuck together as you sat on the porch swing, just lazily swinging back and forth, using your tippy toes to keep the momentum going.

You look out over the vast pasture- green as far as the eye can see, with nothing to distract from the country landscape except for some power lines out in the distance.

Even with the sun starting to set- it was still unbelievably hot.

"Keep goin' like that and you're gonna die of a heat stroke."

You yell to your father who was working under the hood of his rusty truck. Usually, he pays no mind to your nagging, but this time it seemed to work- or perhaps he was just finished for the night.

He shuts the hood, slamming it with a metallic thud before wiping his hands on a greasy rag.

His boots rang loudly against the hallow wooden stairs of the porch, looking down at you through bushy eyebrows.

"I don't need your sass, kid."

You roll your eyes at his comment. He's always been stubborn and tough, but in his old age, you can't help but worry. His cheeks have hallowed over the years, sun spots forming from the countless hours working on the farm, and his movements became slowed from the hard work catching up to him.

"I wouldn't sass if you'd just listen. Seriously, it's okay to hire someone to help. no one is gonna shame you for that." You pester affectionately, standing from the swing to open the screen door and enter the house with him following behind.

You follow him to the kitchen, listing all the reasons why he should have help.

One: he's getting old.

Two: his knee has never been the same since he had that operation done 4 years ago.

Three: the farm is too big and demanding to tend to alone.

"Okay- enough.. you sound just like your mother sometimes I swear." He hold a hand up, pausing you mid-ramble, and takes a sip from the glass he filled from the tap.

You pouted, and once again, your suggestions felt shot down.

He finishes the water, wiping his beard with the back of his hand.

"I actually have someone comin' by tomorrow. They were recommended t' me by Phillip at the feed store."

Your eyes lighten up, a smile grows on your face, and you finally feel like you can breathe, knowing that the hardships wouldn't be your dads alone anymore.

You rush around the kitchen island, placing a kiss to your dads cheek and squeezed him tight.

"Thank you! I can't wait- I'll have to bake em' something sweet tonight."

"Alright- settle down-" he pushes you away slightly with a smile on his weathered face. Truly an adoring annoyance that only a parent could love.

Your old man calls it a night, showering and off to bed he went, but you? Oh- you were busy. You tried your hardest to keep the sound down to a minimum, bowls, and kitchen utensils splayed on the counters.

A small apron draped around your waist, flour smudged on your cheekbone as you pulled the blueberry scones out of the oven. A satisfied smile grows on your face as you observe your work and finishing of the pastries with a dusting of powdered sugar.

Maybe, you were going a tad bit overboard, but the truth is, you were painfully lonely. The only time you had any visitors on the farm was when you held pumpkin patches in the fall, but even then, it was always young families that didn't bother to stay around for too long.

You go upstairs, a slight pep in your step as you did so. You showered and put in your favorite pajamas- a short, soft floral patterned dress with bows that secured the straps.

You tossed in bed, sleep not being in favor since your mind was still wide awake. You try to picture what they would look like- what they sounded like.

Was he tall? Around your age, or is he just another old man like your father? Maybe they're not a man at all.

It's best not to get ahead of yourself; whoever this person is, they are coming to work for your dad and not to become your friend.

-

You slept lightly, and your senses became more aware as a muted thud rang outside your second-story bedroom window. You open your eyes slowly, blinking away the sleepy confusion as dust particles dance in the sunbeams of your room.

It took you a few seconds to realize why today was so important, but once you remembered- it had you scattering out of bed to your window, pulling back the sheer laced curtains, and taking a peak outside.

There was a truck you didn't recognize parked in the driveway. It was slightly newer than your dad's, but that's not saying much; a simple 2-door with an extended bed, slightly lifted with sturdy-looking tires.

A slim figure stood next to the driver's side door, hands on their hips as they looked up at the house. To your surprise, it wasn't a man at all.

You squint, trying to get a better look at her without realizing how big of a creep you are being.

Her hair shined a brilliant shade of auburn in the morning light, a brown button up shirt with the sleep rolled up to her elbows, slightly flared and worn denim jeans hugged her hips with brown cowboy boots that seemed to match the leather of her belt.

You caught a glimpse of something on her arm, dark lines that disrupted her pale skin. It was a tattoo, although you could make out the details of the design.

She looked the part of someone who knows how to run a farm, but something about her seemed so out of place- almost like she was too pretty for such a dirty job.

While you were too busy eyeing her up and down, you didn't realize she had caught you. She put her hand up, holding it there for a second before bringing it back down to her side. You wave back, a slight wiggle of you fingertips which made her smile.

You watch her walk out of the frame of your window before sitting on the edge of your bed- your fingers grasping at the embroidered comforter. You had this weird feeling in your tummy; it was something you couldn't explain, almost like nausea but also like when you go on a big rollercoaster.

You felt nervous but excited all at the same time. You figured it was because she was around your age, maybe slightly older- shrugging it off as you got up and got ready for the day.

You brush your hair before tying it into two loose braids, finishing it with light pink ribbons at the ends. You wanted to put a little more effort into your appearance today since you're meeting someone new, and as daddy always said, "First impressions are the most important."

You take a deep breath in the last most of solitude of your room before making your way down the stairs, the conversation between the stranger and your father growing louder and louder from the kitchen as you inched closer.

"There she is-" your dad motions an arm in your direction, the stranger immediacy turning to meet your face.

"Ellie, this is my daughter, y/n, and y/n, this is Ellie."

"It's nice t' meet you, Ellie." You said in your sweetest voice you could muster as you walk towards her, holding a hand out.

"Likewise." She smiles, taking your hand in hers and shakes it firmly. She seemed respectful, maybe even a little flustered- seeing that her cheeks started to turn a deep shade of pink.

Upon seeing her closer, it didn't help settle your nerves. She was gorgeous; freckles adorned her alabaster skin, a scar that ran through her eyebrow and upper lip, and her eyes a mossy shade of green with dark, long lashes framing the shape.

She was honestly the prettiest girl you've ever seen but not in the same way you were often described. There was a boyish charm to her that you had never seen before.

"Well- best we get to it then." Your dad chimes in, causing you to let go of the calloused hand that you hadn't realized you were still holding onto.

"I'll see you around Ellie." You just barely make audible to her, bitting down on your bottom lip before turning on your heel and leaving them to do their jobs.

Ellie was almost speechless upon meeting you. Never in a million years did she ever think a girl like you could live in this small country town, but fuck, leave it to her luck- you were the boss's daughter, which means you were off limits.

You didn't make it easy on her either, prancing around in your little summer dress that flowed with your movements, rising dangerously high when you would turn around, almost giving her a peek of your ass.

Ellie swallowed hard each time, the saliva filling her mouth with all the dirty thoughts she had- which mostly consisted of you underneath her, completely naked and trembling after she forced a 4th orgasm out of you.

-

The sun was starting to set, blanketing the canvas in shades of orange and pink, and to your disappointment- Ellie would be leaving soon.

She was walking towards her truck, slightly dragging her feet from exhaustion, and you're happy she did so. It gave you enough time to run out of the house barefoot, container filled with the homemade goods in your hands.

"Ellie!-" you called out to her which made her turn around, her hand opening the driver side door.

You nearly bump into her, slightly out of breath as you held up the tupperware with both of your hands.

"Sorry- I made them last night, must've forgotten in to give 'em' to you earlier." Again, your voice is so sweet and innocent- like honey coated candies on her tongue.

A smirk grows on her face, taking the gift from you to inspect them.

"That's mighty kind of you.. oh no, are these blueberries?"

Your face contorts to concern, and Ellie can't help but think how fucking cute you look all worried like that.

"Yeah, why? Do you not like 'em?" You pout, almost like you're on the verge of tears

A low chuckle reverberates in her throat, "I'm just messing with you, doll. They look delicious."

"Meanie."

A few seconds of silence go by, and Ellie looks everywhere except your face, and I mean everywhere- including the plushness of your breast that spilled over the top of your dress - she couldn't have you knowing how red her cheeks are right now.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She said it almost like a question- as if you'd miss out on such an opportunity.

"See you tomorrow, Ellie. Goodnight." You stand on your tippy toes, planting a quick kiss on the rounds of her cheeks, and run back inside, leaving Ellie in full panic mode.

She gets into her truck, taking a moment to herself before turning over the engine. Her fingers tighten around the steering wheel as she replays it in her head. She felt like she could combust, literally and figuratively- her head came down to rest on the wheel, and her cheeks ached from the smile that wouldn't seem to leave her lips.

In fact- she thought about it all night long. When she showered, when she laid in bed trying to sleep, she was tingling, an ache growing inside the depths of her stomach.

I mean, could you blame her? You didn't try to hide how hard you stared or how flirtatious you were towards her.

Maybe you were just like that with everyone.

Still- it didn't stop her. And It didn't stop her hand from slipping into the waistband of her checkered pajama pants, and it definitely didn't stop her from fingering herself to thoughts of you.

She came hard that night, harder than she had before, and she can't help but wonder- if simply her imagines of you felt this good, how would fucking you for real feel?

❥ taglist - @machetegirl109

[cloveswifey]

Truth or dare

Parings: Maddy Perez x Fem!Reader

Type: Smut

Words: 1.8k

Warnings: smut, Clit Rubbing, scissoring, lots of kissing, face riding, eating out, choking, explicit Language.

A/n: This is my first smut so please don't hate haha.

Y/N strolled through the aisles of a bustling shopping center, browsing through the latest fashion trends. As she reached for a cute sweater, her phone buzzed, indicating an incoming call. She looked at the screen and smiled; it was her good friend Cassie.

"Hey, Cassie!" Y/N greeted warmly, answering the call. "What's up?"

"Hey, Y/N!" Cassie's voice sounded excited on the other end. "I was wondering if you wanted to sleepover tonight!"

Y/N's eyes lit up, and she couldn't help but grin. "That sounds great, Cassie! Count me in! What time should I come over?"

Cassie replied enthusiastically, "Come over around 7 pm!"

Y/N nodded eagerly, even though Cassie couldn't see. "I can't wait! I'll bring my favorite board games. Oh, and maybe some snacks too."

"Perfect!" Cassie exclaimed. "I'll let Kat and Maddy know. They've been dying for a sleepover too. It's going to be an epic night!"

As the conversation continued, Y/N finished up her shopping and headed towards the checkout counter. They discussed their plans, making sure everything was set for the much-anticipated sleepover. The excitement in their voices was contagious, causing Y/N's anticipation to grow with every passing minute.

Later that evening, Y/N arrived at Cassie's house with a bagful of board games and snacks. The door opened, revealing a beaming Cassie, already wearing her favorite pair of cozy pajamas.

"Y/N, you made it!" Cassie exclaimed, pulling her friend into a warm hug. "Maddy and Kat are in the living room!"

Soon enough they had all gathered in her cozy living room, filled with blankets and pillows, ready for a night of laughter and adventure.

As the night progressed, they found themselves engrossed in the movie "Clueless," but soon enough, their excitement dwindled, and they started itching for something more exciting.

Cassie, being the bold and mischievous one, suggested they play a game of truth or dare. The group agreed, and they huddled together, ready for a night of revealing secrets and daring challenges.

Cassie spun the bottle, and it pointed right at her. Kat wasted no time in coming up with a dare for her. "I dare you to call your sister; Lexi and say the weirdest thing you can think of!"

Cassie's eyes gleamed mischievously as she happily took out her phone and dialed Lexi's number. As the others listened intently, Cassie giggled and proceeded to say the strangest things that came to her mind. Laughter echoed throughout the room as they imagined Lexi's bewildered reactions.

After a few more rounds of truth or dare, it was finally Y/N's turn. "Truth or dare."

"Truth." Y/n replied.

Maddy, feeling curious, couldn't help but ask, "Y/N, have you ever kissed a girl?"

Y/N blushed and shyly replied, "No, I haven't."

As the night wore on, the girls found themselves growing bored of playing truth or dare. Cassie, exhausted from the excitement, had passed out on the couch. Y/N and Maddy were left to their own devices, trying to figure out how to keep the momentum of the evening going.

Just as they were pondering what to do next, Kat's phone buzzed with a message. Curiosity piqued, she picked up her phone and read the message, her eyes widening with surprise. It was from Ethan, asking her to come over.

Unable to contain her excitement, Kat turned to Y/N and Maddy. "Guess what, guys? Ethan just messaged me and asked me to come over! I'm gonna head out for a bit." With a sheepish smile, she got up from her spot and made her way towards the door.

Left alone together, Y/N and Maddy exchanged glances. In Maddy's eyes, a playful spark danced, and she decided to revisit the question she had asked earlier. Taking a deep breath, she looked at Y/N and asked, "You know my question earlier, right?"

Your Pov

You nodded, recalling the question about kissing a girl. Your heart raced slightly, wondering where Maddy was going with this conversation.

Maddy's mischievous smile grew wider as she leaned closer to you and asked, "Would you like to give it a try?"You hesitated for a moment, contemplating the situation.

You slowly nodded and the two girls leaned in, eyes shut as their lips slowly met in the middle.

Maddys lips felt soft against mine as they collided, before slowly pulling away.

Your body went stiff, your breathing caught in your throat. "Relax," she says softly, using her right hand to move a strand of hair out of your face. You exhale, letting yourself loosen up. "Good girl."

Maddy smirked looking into your eyes before leaning in again to capture you into a much deeper kiss. Your lips move together slowly, yet passionately.

You could feel Maddy's warm breath on your cheek as she softly enters her tongue, and your tongues begin to playfully intertwine.

You begin lightly massaging your fingers into Maddy's hair, in which she lets out a small moan in response.

However, the thought of cassie sleeping beside you, quickly brings you back to reality, and you realise that you both may have gotten a bit too carried away.

"Cassie might, wake up," you remind maddy in-between kisses, eliciting a groan from her as she pulls your waist towards her so that your chests were touching.

"No," Maddy hesitates, her desire evident in her attempts to intensify the kiss. She doesn't want to break away, so she starts increasing the speed of your lip movements.

However, you hesitated and suggested, "Why don't we go to the bathroom at least?"

Maddy giggled mischievously and took hold of your hand, leading you towards the Howard's home bathroom.

Upon entering, Maddy swiftly pressed You against the wall and passionately kissed you.

"Now that you've kissed a girl..." Maddy whispered in-between kisses, "what about fucking one." She spoke her hand travelling down to your core, massaging you through the fabric. You let out a whimper in response.

"You like that baby?" Maddy smirked.

"Fuck yes." You moaned out, reaching up to remove your bralette, leaving you in her short flowy skirt.

"No bra?" Maddy chuckled, before connecting your lips once again.

You moaned against her lips as she continued rubbing circles against your throbbing clit.

You felt an orgasm approaching, and you gripped Maddy's shoulder as your thighs trembled. She noticed how close you were and stopped, causing you to pout.

"I wanna taste you." Maddy whispered

"Please." Y/n whimpered, Maddy then snaking her fingers around the hem of your panties, slowly pulling them off.

Maddy reluctantly pulls her bra off, throwing it on the ground, diving down to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses before reaching your breasts and placing her mouth around your nipple.

Your hands travel down to her jeans, and you start to unbutton her pants. She moves your hands and finishes unbuttoning her jeans herself, sliding them off of her and kicking them onto the ground.

Slowly, laying down on the cold floor, bare, Maddy beckons you with a soft whisper, “Come here," lightly pulling your body down. You sat on top of her shyly, your bare pussy resting on her abdomen.

"Pretty pussy." She smirks, before slapping your cunt, causing you to yelp before she leans down and kisses your clit sweetly.

"sit on my face." She demands, putting her hands on your hips and encouraging you to scoot up. You comply, adjusting yourself until your pussy is hovering over her mouth.

You could feel her nails lightly scratching at your waist before she, pushed your hips down and buried her face into your pussy, her tongue swirling against your folds.

You grind your hips against her mouth, looking down to see your skirt covering half her face. She placed her hands under your skirt and on the curve of your ass, guiding you up and down her tongue.

"Fuck... you taste so good," she moans against your clit as she sucks harshly.

"Don't stop!" you cried, your thighs already shaking, she hums against your clit in response, wrapping her arms around your thighs to keep you on her face.

"cum for me." she says, coaxing you through an orgasm. Moans and curse words spill from your lips.

Your body spasms as white flashes before your eyes, everything around you disappearing and pure euphoria consuming your body.

you continue to sloppily ride out your high on Maddy's face, your climax washes over you and she makes sure to catch every last drop of your release. You twitch as she uses her tongue to clean you up.

Maddy quickly turns both of you over, firmly requesting, "give me your leg."

You lift up your leg and she puts it over her shoulder. She positions herself between your legs until your cunts are touching. You moan at the feeling of her warm and wet pussy against yours. She wraps her arm around your leg, her hand making its way around your neck. She slowly starts to grind against you, both of your throbbing clits massaging each others. The whine that falls from her lips surprise you, sending a shiver through your body.

You groan as you feel the rhythm of her movements, your hand moving to cup one side of her waist to steady her. Moans spill from your mouth, the feeling of pure ecstasy tingling through your bodies.

Each motion creates an intense friction between us, causing her to moan loudly as the pleasure intensifies.

She squeezes your neck, causing your eyes to roll back to your head, as you practically melt into her, squirming beneath her touch.

"Fuck, you feel so good against me." she says, looking down and watching the way your cunts slide against each other.

"Fuck-" she spat, her chest rising up and down abnormally fast, throwing her head back and squeezing your neck harder.

"I'm gonna cum." she cried, her clit pulsing against yours.

"Me too." you moaned, closing your eyes.

The amount of pleasure you were experiencing was not like anything you've felt before. You both were practically screaming as you reached reached your climax.

You felt her fluids spill onto your heat, her body quivering as she continues to ride out her high against you. You follow her orgasm shortly after her, shockwaves are sent throughout your body. All to be heard were two wet pussys kissing one another.

She lays down next to you, staring at the celling. Both of you just taking a moment to gather yourselves, trying to catch your breaths. "Holy shit, that was fucking hot." she exhales.

[wecandoit]

Hi everyone! I've been doing this challenge called 30 days of intentionality (30doi) and I thought I'd explain how I'm doing it in case anyone wants to join in! I have no prompts for this one bc it is by nature quite personal.

THE CHALLENGE

Similar to the 30 days of productivity challenge, this one is really open to interpretation. Anyone can do it and mold it however they like, I'm just here to give a little bit of guidance to those who need it.

For me, intentions include 'keeping in good health', 'studying for my dream job', 'working towards my career', 'maintaining and building good friendships'.

If you're unsure about how to format your posts, this is what i include:

- date - intentions (if you make these vague, it's a good idea to elaborate on how you plan to achieve your intentions) - a recommendation (current reads, songs, movies, videos, etc) - reflection - tags with #30doi here's an example of one of my 30doi posts for reference

other notes:

I usually update my post throughout the day, crossing out the stuff I've done and adding in a reflection before bed if i can.

You can do this challenge manually, I sometimes write my intentions down on paper for a few days and then transcribe (you don't have to transcribe)

This challenge should be for you, don't worry about posting consistently, or making your posts pretty. the important thing is that you are being intentional with your day.

Even if you don't physically post or write your intentions, try to think to yourself what they might be each day, and try your best to meet those.

Off-days are okay, in fact, they are what make this challenge a real challenge. if you're just running on the momentum of having had a perfect streak, there's no difficulty in this

Tag your posts under the tag #30doi so that others can see your posts and interact (including me)

if you want a reblog, i track the tag #heydilli which can be used for non-challenge posts too

That's all I can think of for now, but like I said, the 30doi is open to interpretation and i am by no means taking credit for 'creating' the challenge. like i mentioned for the 30dop, i don't really believe these challenges can be created. Below the cut is a rant about intentionality and my reasons for doing this challenge if you want to have a read.

Hope to see your posts and progress, xx dilli 🤍

What is intentionality?

We all know what intentions are—your purpose and meaning behind doing something. Intentionality is bigger, it is "the structure which gives meaning to experience." Intentionality is your capacity to have intentions. Having intentions governs how you perceive every experience you have. Take this example: if your intention for tonight is to wind down and relax, settling down in front of the TV will be viewed as a way to rest, reset, recover. If however, your intention for tonight is finish up uni work, watching TV will be viewed as a way that you procrastinate and avoid doing your work. Your perception of anything, then, is informed by your intentions. Without intentions, anything that you do can seem pointless. I often have a never-ending list of assignments, but if I don't actively intend to do work, watching Youtube all night doesn't seem like a bad thing—after all, it's not like I intended to do anything else with my time.

Why am I doing this challenge?

Lately I find myself moving through my daily routine rather mindlessly. I do a bit of schoolwork here, a bit of mindless scrolling there, but I don't really know why I'm doing these things. I have goals that I'm working towards, but they seem distant and unaffected by my day-to-day choices. In reality, though, the choices that I make every day are what determine whether I reach my goals, where I will be and what kind of person I am in five or ten or however many years. By setting intentions, I will make it clear what I should be doing and why it is important that I do it. The idea is that by merely logging my intentions and results over these 30days, I will subconsciously be predisposed to fulfil those intentions

Read more about intentionality here

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

Fandom: Shadow & Bone (TV) word count: 5,415 Whumpee: Kaz Brekker Whump tropes: explosion, human shield, self sacrifice, burns, touch aversion, unconscious, caretaking

This is my longest fic to date and frankly there could be more. This is unbeta'd cause I was too excited to get it posted to wait for anyone else to read it 😅

Gifting this to @bocularteletheric because of our shared love of Kaz whump, please enjoy ❤

Read on Ao3 or continue below~

~~~

"Are you really sure this is the best use of our time, boss? I was rather hoping to be keeping warm with a drink and a rousing conversation over a hand of cards this evening," Jesper griped for the third time.

Kaz sighed as he used the head of his cane to lift the top of a crate, glowering into it as he surveyed its contents- or lack thereof for that matter. It was the eighth crate he had opened on this particular venture and nothing of interest to show for it. The first five were partially full with various items, none of which were of any use to them. The rest of them were empty, nothing but dirt and grime from the sloppy mud road that led to the compound that the barn sat upon, nestled deep in the forest outside of the city.  

“The source I have is reliable, they said it should be here,” Kaz snapped out, letting the lid drop with a hollow thud. Dust puffed around him, tiny particles glinting in the moonlight coming in through the gaps in the wide slats of the barn wall, shooting beams across the otherwise unlit building. The moon was full and bright tonight, the use of a lantern unnecessary for getting around except for deep in the shadows. 

“And what, pray tell, did they mean by ‘it’? What are we even looking for?” Jesper turned, throwing his hands in the air.

Kaz turned and shot him a piercing glare, his brow downturned in annoyance. “You’ll know it when you see it, okay? Trust me on this.”

Jesper dropped his hands, his shoulders slouching forward as he threw his head back. “Where did Inej go anyways?”

“Checking the house and smaller out buildings. Shouldn’t be long before she joins us.”

“We’re going to be here all night, aren’t we?” 

“We’re here as long as it takes.” 

“Fine. But the next three rounds at the club are on your coin.” Jesper snapped his gloved fingers and pointed at Kaz, cocking his head and raising an eyebrow, his expression clear that this wasn’t a negotiable option.

“So be it. Check the crates in the loft would you?”

“Always gotta send someone else to the precarious heights and dangerous situations, don’t you?��

Kaz turned to him, giving a pointed look to the ladder as he tapped the corvid head of the cane against his chest.

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Jesper took a step back as he started to turn towards the ladder.

The world seemed to focus into a pinprick for Kaz as Jesper turned, a glint of silver flashing near his ankles caught his eye as Jesper moved through the moonlight. 

“Jesper, wait!” Kaz yelled, lunging forward to grab the collar of Jespers coat, snatching him backwards before he could finish his step. He heard a faint ping as the tripwire popped apart, the scraping of metal, or was that flint on steel? He wasn’t sure, but he definitely knew the sound that followed, the crackle of burning gunpowder sputtering across the floor. He didn’t spare time to see how much time they had or where the line of powder led, instead he used the momentum of his yank on Jespers coat, propelling the gunslinger around and then shoving him forward in the other direction, away from the general direction of the gunpowder and towards the door. 

Jesper stumbled, barely able to put his feet in the right order to catch himself with the way Kaz was throwing him around. He finally caught himself and took off running, feeling like he was dragging Kaz with him as the thief kept a tight grip on his jacket collar. 

Kaz knew they weren’t going to make it. He could hear the violent reaction of the gunpowder snapping across the floor become muffled as it reached its destination. They weren’t going to make it. But he could do his best to make sure someone got out of here. 

He lunged forward, tackling Jesper around his torso,  forcing him to fall forwards so he crumpled under Kaz's weight. One hand around Jespers waist and the other over his head so he couldn’t raise it, Kaz spread himself over the gunslinger just as the world exploded behind them. 

Searing pain ripped through the back of his shoulders, the force of the explosion threw him even further and his head slammed into a support pillar of the barn. 

Everything went black and he knew no more. 

~~~

Everything hurt. 

Jesper groaned as he regained awareness. He didn’t think he had been out for long, maybe a few seconds, but the impact had been harsh. His whole body ached, squeezed into a tight ball as he was. His knees were pressed to his chest, one arm trapped underneath him where he was flopped onto his side. He could feel a weight against nearly every angle of his body, wrapped around him like a warm and heavy blanket. 

A warm breath ghosted against his neck and he tried to open his eyes, wincing as he attempted to uncurl his legs. The muscles protested but he managed to push himself to his knees. He hadn’t even realized the weight on the back of his head was a hand until it flopped to the floor, limp and wrapped in black leather.

“Kaz?” Jesper coughed as smoke made its way into his lungs, cast off from the flames licking at the rubble of the barn around them. The support beam in front of them still stood and a section of the mezzanine from above had nearly fallen on them, half of it held up by the beam so they were tucked under a dangerous lean-to. He tried to clear his throat but only managed to inhale more smoke, his eyes starting to burn as well. “Kaz, are you okay?”

He received no response to his query. He twisted around, searching for where he had felt Kaz slip off of him when he moved. He found Kaz was slumped on his side, his face lax and pale in the flickering light of the fire around them save for a shadow down the left side of his face, a shiny and dark crimson smear that started at his hairline and followed the angles of his face. Blood.

“Kaz, wake up. We gotta get out of here,” Jesper coughed again. He placed a hand under Kaz’s head, lifting his face towards him. “Kaz!” He yelled as loud as smoke infested lungs would allow, shaking him gently with no reaction.

“Alright then,” he huffed, shuffling around in the tight space so he could get behind Kaz, “You’re probably going to hate this, but let it be known that I tried to wake you up and I don’t exactly have another option, asides from leaving you here and that is not happening-”

The words died in his throat and fear bubbled up as he caught sight of Kaz’s back. His jacket was smouldering in places, flames dancing across the fine material in others. Jesper frantically tore his own jacket off and threw it over the flames, hastily slapping it down to smother the fire. He held it there for a few seconds, gasping for breath until he felt sure it would be extinguished. He cautiously removed his coat. His throat tightened and he had to clap a hand over his mouth as the contents of his stomach threatened to reappear. “Oh saints, Kaz…”

Most of the back of Kaz’s coat was gone, as were chunks of his vest and shirt, the fact he wore so many layers might have actually saved him for the most part but not enough. Wherever the clothing had burnt away were angry burns pocked with wounds that weeped blood around pieces of shrapnel buried in his flesh.

Jesper clenched his eyes shut and tried to control his breathing, he could feel his hands starting to shake and that wouldn’t help either of them right now. Lifting Kaz in any way that touched his back was out of the question so he shuffled around to his front again, grabbing his wrist instead and hauling him into a seated position, ducking his head under Kaz’s arm against his side and shouldering him in the stomach to drape the limp body across both shoulders, holding on tight to his arm and leg to keep him from falling off. 

“Thank saints you’re even lighter than you look,” he huffed as he got his feet under him, snatching Kaz’s cane from the floor before carefully standing up. 

It took time to get out, awkward as it was carrying a body over his shoulders while picking his way through rubble and fire. He was trying to inhale as little as possible, trying to keep the smoke out of his lungs, which just made them burn even worse. 

He barely made it out of the front door when the mezzanine collapsed, a burst of sparks showering around them as Jesper stumbled. He caught himself on one knee, unwilling to let go of Kaz as he tottered dangerously. Just when he thought he would lose the battle with gravity and they would both tumble to the dirt, a hand caught him around the chest, keeping  him upright. 

“Jesper!” Inej was right in front of him, he had to squint to see her. His eyes burned but he couldn’t let go of Kaz to wipe them. 

“His back,” Jesper managed to cough out, “be careful with his back.”

“Okay, put him down, I got him.” 

He felt the weight on his shoulder shift and held on tighter, panicking for a second before realizing Inej had snaked her arm under Kaz’s chest to help get him on the ground again. Once his burden was gone Jesper fell forward, catching himself on his elbows as he coughed hard enough to gag into the dirt. Every breath he managed to drag in felt like gravel in his throat, rattling through his spasming chest.

When the coughing started to abate and he managed more wheezing breaths between fits, he felt gentle hands on his back and he rested his forehead against his arm. He managed to gasp out “Kaz…”

“He is alive but in bad shape, we need to get him to a healer.”

He nodded before pushing himself back to his knees, turning so he was next to Kaz again. Inej had managed to get him on his side so his back wasn’t touching anything. Jesper avoided looking at the mess that was his back, instead focusing on his face. He was dirty with soot and blood, and a shock of hair had fallen forward onto his face, obscuring the wound and brushing against his cheek. Jesper pushed it back and rubbed his thumb over Kaz’s forehead, frowning at the lack of reaction the contact received. It was so unnatural to see his brow smooth and relaxed, unburdened by troubles.

Inej’s hand touched his elbow and he suddenly turned to her, grasping her shoulder as he inspected her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I was in the other building.” She cleared her throat and turned her eyes down to Kaz, but Jesper could see her eyes were red. She had already thought them dead, which a look at the flaming pile of barn behind them would have been a reasonable conclusion to come to.

“We’re going to be okay,” he said. “He’s going to be okay.” He squeezed her shoulder once before letting go and pushing himself to his feet. “I’ll find the cart.”

It took him precious minutes to find the horses and the cart tied to them, spooked as they were by the violence of the explosion. He calmed them, shushing them quietly with gentle strokes. They trembled under his hands, he didn’t blame them at all because he could feel his own hands starting to shake again too. “Calm, calm. Shhhh.” He whispered, though whether he was talking just to the horses or himself too was up for debate.  

By the time he managed to lead the horses back towards where he left Inej and Kaz, Inej was back on her feet, looking like she was about to come searching for him.

“They were spooked.” He said in explanation and she nodded in response, already getting into position to assist. Between the two of them, they got Kaz into the back of the simple wooden cart that they had driven out and within minutes they were back on the road, Jesper at the reins and Inej sitting cross legged next to Kaz on the floor.

~~~

Nearly an hour later they pulled in front of the inn that they had hired a room at for the night.

“Do you know anyone in this city, Inej?” Jesper asked her quietly. 

“Not personally,” she shook her head, “but I do know there is a healer here somewhere, I will inquire.” She spared a look at Kaz before hopping out of the cart and hurrying into the inn. 

Jesper stood from the driver's seat and stepped over it, into the back of the cart to crouch behind Kaz. Inej had positioned him so he was on his side, the best they could do for his injuries with no supplies along with them. He hadn’t made a sound the entire ride back to town and that worried Jesper. He reached over him, placing a hand in front of Kaz’s face, biting down on his bottom lip and holding his own breath until he felt the faint movement of air on his hand as Kaz exhaled. 

“Once again, you’re going to hate this, and I’ll apologize about it later, but if you’re not going to get up, I’m going to have to get you upstairs somehow.”

Jesper went to his front, getting his arms under Kaz’s armpits and pulling him to a seated position before gently and awkwardly shifting him towards the back of the cart. He jumped down and slipped an arm around Kaz’s waist where the least amount of damage was. Most of the burns were across the back of his shoulders, starting just where his neck and shoulders met and growing less severe towards the bottom of his shoulder blades, spanning the entire width of his torso and down the back of his arms. 

The change in position caused Kaz’s head to flop against Jesper’s shoulder and he heard a faint groan. “Kaz?!” Jesper whispered, bringing the hand that wasn’t around his waist up to touch his face, tilting the thief’s head back so he could see. “Kaz, can you hear me?”

Kaz’s eyes fluttered open and Jesper could see how hard it must have been for him, fighting his way back to consciousness. His eyes were cloudy and he looked confused, scared even, but too weak to do anything. He didn’t seem to recognize Jesper at all.

"Pl-please," he pleaded with Jesper. His voice sounded so small and terrified. "Please, just let me go."

“It’s okay, you’re alright, I’m trying to help,” Jesper kept his voice low, trying to sound comforting. Every other comfort instinct of his had to be thrown out the window when dealing with Kaz, his hands ached to gently touch his face, to push his hair back and just touch him in a way that would bring comfort to Jesper. 

But even the arm around his waist, his head lolling against Jespers shoulder, even just being a physical support was a forbidden line that he had already crossed, it hurt him so much to see Kaz in pain and to be contributing even further to that discomfort even if his intentions were to help. 

Kaz twisted against his shoulder, trying to squirm away from Jesper. One hand came up to push against his chest and just that movement brought out a strangled cry, his eyes turned white as they rolled back in his head and he went limp in Jespers arms.

“I’m sorry,” Jesper whispered, pushing back the lock of hair that had fallen over his face.

~~~

Inej took a deep, steadying breath as she entered the pub that made up the main floor of their accommodations. Tables and chairs were scattered around, most of which were empty at this time of night, and a large counter to the right where a big man with a bushy red beard poured drinks for the handful of patrons still sitting at the bar. He nodded at Inej as she entered, recognizing her from earlier. When she approached the bar rather than turning up the narrow staircase to the rooms on the upper floor he raised an eyebrow and moved to the end of the bar to meet her.

“You seem troubled,” he said in greeting. 

She lowered her voice, not wanting to bring attention. “We are in need of a healer. Does Eleanora still reside nearby?”

He gave a curt nod, rubbing his hands with a towel. “She does, not far. I will send my son to retrieve her and bring her to your room. There is an entrance to the rooms from the back if you’d rather privacy from prying eyes.”

She dipped her head in thanks before slipping out the door again, where she found Jesper had Kaz sitting more or less upright on the back of the cart, ready to drape the thief over his shoulders again. She whirled around as the door slammed behind her, a young boy with red hair stumbling over his own feet as he looked at them, his wide eyes catching on the unconscious man that Jesper supported. He gave Inej the same curt nod that the innkeeper had and took off down the street. 

“Around back, let’s get him upstairs.”

The back stairs were even narrower than the ones from the front which made progress slow and awkward. Jesper supported most of Kaz's lanky form while Inej climbed the stairs behind them. Jesper doubted she could catch both of them if he slipped and they fell backwards onto her, but he trusted she would catch Kaz so he wasn't injured any further at least. 

By the time they made it to the room, Inej heard a commotion at the bottom of the steps and the red headed boy came bounding up the stairs. "Mz. Eleanora is coming, she wasn't far behind me."

Inej nodded in thanks and shut the door as he tried to crane his neck to see around her. A boy his age didn't need to see the bloody wounds that marred Kaz's flesh.

Jesper was standing in the middle of the room with Kaz more or less standing with him, holding him up with arms under Kaz's armpits and letting him slump against Jespers chest.

"She's going to want to see the wounds, we need to get his clothes off. Use one of your knives, cut it off. His jacket's a loss anyways."

Jesper could only stand and hold Kaz upright while watching as Inej carefully slipped her blade under the fabric, slicing through the back of the collar and moving towards the sleeves. Every cut was an attempt to keep fabric from touching skin in the removal process.

He felt it moments before Kaz started to come around again, every muscle in his body going tense as a groan hissed out from between clenched teeth. His forehead was resting against Jespers collarbone but when the gunslinger looked down he could see ropey muscles flexing around the sharp angle of his jaw. 

"Inej stop," he warned moments before Kaz suddenly threw himself backwards, a mad scramble to get out of Jespers arms, to get away from the hands touching his body. 

"Kaz, it's me! It's Jesper, it's ok, I've got you," Jesper rambled, trying to keep his voice as calm and comforting as possible, which was difficult as the other man struggled against him. "Inej is here too, we're trying to help."

Inej smartly didn't try touching him, standing back and tucking her blade away again. She had cut away enough fabric already that they would be able to remove his top without issue, but she didn’t dare try to take any of his clothing while he was already panicking.

"Kaz, you need to calm down, you're hurt," Jesper said.

"Let go of me," Kaz whimpered. His hands curled towards his own throat to keep from touching Jesper and he pushed outwards with his elbows, trying to leverage Jespers hands off of him.

Inej threw the scratchy quilt off of one of the beds, revealing the relatively soft bed sheets underneath and frantically waved at Jesper to set the injured man down. The beds were not much more than a metal frame with a latticework of straps that supported a thin mattress, not the most comfortable of beds but fine for a night or two when needed.

It took effort, their boss was gangly but stronger than he looked and he fought hard, especially when injured and afraid. His eyes remained closed as he writhed in Jesper’s arms, frantically trying to push away from him even as his legs refused to bear his own weight, the only barely conscious thought being the need to get the hands off.

“Kaz, please!” Jesper cried out, flinching as gloved hands scrabbled against his face, blindly searching for something to grasp, whether that would be his eyes, hair, or throat, whichever they found first.

He tried to keep moving Kaz towards the cot while being weakly assaulted, determined to not drop Kaz right there in the middle of the floor. 

In the struggle he didn’t hear the door open behind him until he felt a slight thrum in the air and someone quietly commanded “sleep” right beside him, a hand reaching around his shoulder, one slender finger gently tapped Kaz in the middle of his forehead. Jespers stomach turned as for the second time that night he watched Kaz’s eyes roll back in his head and he fell bonelessly limp into Jespers arms, almost slipping completely out of them before Jesper tightened his grip.

Inej was there in a flash to help support the injured man, one of her blades glinting in the light as she resumed the task of removing the burnt and bloodied clothing. A couple quick and efficient slices and they were able to pull the material away from his back and arms, the ruined clothing being left in a pile on the floor to be dealt with later. 

“Get him on the bed.”

With a grunt Jesper managed to shuffle the last couple steps towards the bed and gingerly lowered Kaz onto the sheets, Inej slipping in beside him to support Kaz's head as it flopped off of Jespers shoulder. Together they positioned him on his front, Inej moving the pillow away so he wasn't stifled by it and wedging it under one of his arms. 

They barely had him situated before the healer, Eleanora, was there, her skirts puffing out as she sank to her knees at the side of the bed and summoning her powers with a twist of her hands. She lightly traced around the edges of the angry and blistering skin. 

“There is a lot of damage,” Eleanora said quietly. “I will need one of you to help remove this shrapnel before I can work on everything.”

Inej glanced at Jesper, already knowing he likely wouldn’t be able to stomach it. He stood frozen next to the foot of the bed, one hand on his hip and the other clamped aggressively over his mouth. There was a sickly pallor to his skin and his thumb and forefinger were pressed hard into the spaces below his cheekbones. It was like he couldn’t tear his eyes off of Kaz.

She touched his elbow, startling him out of his trance and he gasped, his hand breaking away from his face to latch onto her shoulder. She kept her hand on his arm, squeezing it gently. 

“Sit down. Before you fall down.” She said, guiding him to the bed next to Kaz’s. The cots were close enough to each other that if the two men sat across from each other their knees would be touching.

He flopped onto it, bracing his elbows against his knees and resolutely determined not to look anywhere but at Kaz’s face as the other two worked on his back. 

Inej perched herself on the edge of the bed, trying to leave a space between Kaz’s hip and her own. She already felt guilty for all the times they have had to touch Kaz without him being able to consent, and she knew he wouldn’t have even if he was consciously able to do so. 

She tried to keep from thinking about that as she started plucking out the pieces of shrapnel, mostly slivers of wood from the crates, barrels, and barn that had surrounded them when the blast occurred. There were a lot more than she had been expecting, a variety of sizes. She dropped them on the floor by her feet as she worked, another thing to clean up later. 

There were two bigger pieces near his right shoulder blade that each began to splinter as she tried to pull on them, threatening to leave part of themselves behind in his flesh if she wasn't careful. She winced before pulling out one of her blades yet again, using the sharp tip to make the hole in his skin just a bit bigger in order to get every sliver of the wood out. 

She glanced up at Eleanora, who nodded in approval with her lips pressed tight together before she focused her attention on those newly bleeding wounds. 

“He’s hurting.”

Inej looked at Jesper in surprise when he spoke, so quietly she didn’t catch what he said. “What?”

“He’s in pain, look at him.” Jesper gestured towards Kaz’s face.

He was right. Kaz’s face was twisted into a deep grimace, his jaw tight and sweat starting to bead on his brow. The hand upon the pillow that was wedged under his arm was clenched tightly, grasping the edge of the pillow in a death grip.

“The wounds are significant,” Eleanora said, not taking her eyes or hands away from the task at hand. The smaller injuries that had marred the backs of his arms were already back to a healthy pink. “Some of these burns are severe enough he may not  even feel them, but as I heal them the sensation may return. It’ll feel worse before it feels better.”

Inej felt her breath catch in her throat at the same time Jesper choked on a sob. She grasped his knee and immediately his hand was on top of hers, desperately holding onto her. 

“He would hate this. He hates being touched, it’s like a visceral reaction whenever someone so much as accidentally bumps against him.” Jesper started to ramble, unable to keep his mouth shut in his own distress. “Even as friends he doesn’t let us touch him.”

Eleanora looked between them, noticing now how neither of them had laid hands on him since getting him onto the bed. Even removing the shrapnel Inej had been so careful to avoid touching him, only using the tip of her blade when necessary. Eleanora pulled her hands back slightly, leaving an air gap between her fingers and his skin. 

“I didn’t know, thank you for telling me. It’s not necessary for me to make contact when healing but some people find it comforting.”

Inej nodded and smiled at Eleanora, understanding where she was coming from but grateful for her accommodating his needs. With the shrapnel removed, she tucked her blade away and slipped off the cot and onto the other next to Jesper, carefully looking him over to see if there were any injuries he hadn’t fessed up to yet. He seemed visibly shaken but otherwise fine. He had a couple coughing fits on the way back into town but she hadn't heard anything more in a while. His eyes were locked on Kaz’s face still, watching him like a hawk for any sign of awareness. 

His breath caught for a moment as Kaz’s eyelids fluttered. “Kaz?”

Kaz whimpered in response, slow and painstakingly opening his eyes just a tiny amount. He blinked at them, his eyes hazy and clouded with pain. Inej reached out and placed her hand on the mattress right near his hand, just in front of his face where he looked slightly confused at it before focusing on his companions' faces again. 

“Oh saints, his head,” Jesper whispered, reaching out and hovering his hand over the area where blood had been seeping out along his hairline. Crimson still encrusted the side of his head where it had dried what felt like hours ago, now pressed into the sheets with how his head was positioned. 

Eleanora shifted her attention there for a minute, making motions as if she was pushing her magic into Kaz’s skull. As the wound sealed up, Jesper and Inej could see when he fully came aware, his eyes clearing slightly. He was still tense with pain, but the confusion when he looked at them was gone at least, replaced with recognition as he looked up at his Crows watching over him. 

~~~

He hadn’t expected to wake up again. But when Kaz came back to awareness, he wasn’t sure that he even wanted to. 

Every nerve in his back screamed as though the fire still burned upon it, the pain causing muscles to tense and spasm against his will and amplifying it, resulting in a never ending spiral of call and response of torment. 

Something slipped into his head, an odd sensation of a chill inside his skull and it was like he had awoken with his eyes already open, as though he had already been awake but not aware of being awake for a moment or two. 

As his eyes came into focus he could see white sheets that were pressed against his cheek. Right in front of his face he found Inej’s hand and he focused his gaze to travel up her arm, to her face set in a mask of barely concealed concern. Next to her sat Jesper, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, not even trying to disguise his concern. Jespers lips twitched into a sad smile that didn’t reach his watery eyes.

Kaz’s hands ached, clenched tightly as they were but he recognized the familiar feeling of the soft leather that hugged them, grateful that they hadn’t been removed. He could tell the layers of clothing he wore like an armour around his torso were gone though.

That chilled sensation that brought back his awareness now traced over his back, momentarily cutting a trail of relief through the searing pain. The pain was so great that the relief was often short lived, but it never stopped moving, skimming along the edges of areas that just felt like… nothing. 

He took a deep breath, which caught in his throat for a moment as the movement of his rib cage pulled on muscles that protested vehemently and he had to close his eyes against the pain. When he opened them again, Inej had shifted off of the other bed and knelt on the floor to be closer to him. Her hand never moved from the edge of the bed, not moving any closer, which he knew she wouldn’t. 

Slowly, he relaxed his hand, letting go of what he realized was a pillow that he had been holding so tightly to and reached for the edge of the mattress, curling his fingers around it mere centimeters away from Inej’s hand. Close, but not touching. 

He felt at peace in that moment. Knowing two of his most cherished Crows were with him, watching over him. Trust didn’t come easy for him, but if there were any two people he could rely on, it would be Inej and Jesper.

The pain flared up again and his whole body tensed, once again amplifying everything. His hand clenched and he wound up with a fistful of bed sheets, his eyes screwing shut with a strangled whimper. 

He vaguely heard Jesper begging someone to do something, he’s in pain, though Kaz couldn’t say who he had spoken to. 

He didn’t have an opportunity to find out as the cold sensation returned to his head, and with a brief burst of relief he succumbed to the black again.

[gorgin-gals-muses]

chubkink fic prompt: Camgirl Yuma booty show

The low-laying camera blinked on to the view of a purple-haired woman fiddling with it, an arm at the controls, the kneeling down hunched over the equipment and wearing a simple white shirt and a pair of panties. Her eyes darted up to the screen on her side. "Looks like everything's in order..."

"Hey guys, this is LusciousLilac here! I've got a few cans of White Claw here, some water balloons, and I bought a mini watermelon too! Should be pretty fun~." Known in real life by the much less flattering name Yuma Kokohead, the young woman had amassed a small but sizeable cult following under the name LusciousLilac, an avid gainer and camgirl. She had quite a few notable qualities; a soft, easily-flustered demeanor, a tendency to stuff herself to the extreme, and as she stood up to work the settings some and grab the drinks from the table above, she revealed her most noticeable; a ginormous shelf of an ass, and hips and thighs thick enough to properly frame it. Her pudgy gut that sat atop her legs was flabby and rolled, clearly used to being stretched out in harder, longer stuffing sessions. She brought three white cans to the camera, before walking back.

She went to the stage for tonight's show in the middle of the room, a low, wide, sturdy stool (although outsized by her gargantuan rear), atop a large plastic tarp that covered half the floor. As Yuma opened one of the cans and set the rest down, she sat low on the stool, facing the camera, and dug into her belly with her free hand as she led the seltzer down her throat with the other. Tipping her head back to take eager gulps, she fondled and stroked her gut, periodically pushing it up to let it fall back down and wobble on her girthy thighs. She finished the drink quickly, already developing a bit of a paunch, and reached for another to repeat the process, blushing from the alcohol entering her system and the excitement of what she was going to do with the empty cans. Yuma couldn't help but let out a deep belch as the second was chugged down her throat, filling her stomach up nicely, and once she had downed the final of the three, she had a head and belly both brimming with booze, three empty cans, and a perfect place to put them.

Pushing the stool a bit further, just to ensure a better view from the audience, she placed the cans in a row horizontally on the stool, and turned her back towards the camera. Yuma's wide, dimpled monster of an ass jiggled in place, guided by the momentum, as she slowly squatted down into the seat. She felt the cool aluminum grace her booty, and pressed downwards, shifting all of her weight into her ass. The sound of metal crinkling filled her ears as they struggled and resisted, prompting her to keep going, bouncing and wobbling as she got into a rhythm. The cans didn't stand a chance against her as she squashed repeatedly against them, slowly grinding them down until they were nothing more than flattened sheet metal. She felt the stool creak as she rocked her ass back and forth, smothering the aluminum like a wide, fleshy trash compactor. Finally, Yuma put her hands to her knees and pulled herself upwards, flicking the crushed cans onto the floor before presenting three water balloons to the camera.

Going back to the stool, Yuma gingerly placed one of the balloons on top of it, turned back towards her position, and squatted just slightly before quickly pressing her ass into it, colliding like a meteor. She got one solid bounce in, a short moment of resistance and bravery from the water balloon, before it ruptured, letting her ass fall and slam straight through it, quaking against the stool and shaking the camera with its heft. The water in the balloon quickly sprayed out, briefly dousing the (luckily waterproof) camera, the tarp, and Yuma's legs and butt, causing a quick yelp from the wide woman. She turned back, a bit flustered at her own squeal, before advancing to the second round, brushing excess plastic off and placing the new victim for her ass to crush. She went slower this time, gingerly winding her dumptruck down to the water balloon, only gently displacing it, before adding more pressure. It stayed strong, if very squished, hugging each gargantuan cheek. She lightly bounced on the balloon, humping her ass onto it repeatedly as it sprang down and back up, before the tension finally gave way, causing her to spray the camera once more. She let out another squeak this time, genuinely shocked by the untimed bursting. "S-sorry," she blurted out, blushing yet again. The third balloon was in for a big surprised as she slowly turned around, presenting her gut and thunder thighs to the camera, and slotted it in, squeezing it between her legs. This was actually the hardest of the three for her, her musculature far from well-developed, but as she strained and increased the pressure, the balloon seemed to all but completely disappear as it was swallowed up by her thigh blubber, before something finally snapped, a torrent of water shooting up into Yuma's face. She recoiled back, actually feeling a little bit humiliated by that one... she glanced back into the camera, blinking as her face and below were soaked.

"Hoough... now for the watermelon." She grunted a bit as she got up, stretching out, and reached for the watermelon above the camera, swaying a bit as she gathered the strength. It might've been only 3 or 4 pounds, but she was still a little staggered from the liquor in her system, and the watermelon only barely fit on the stool. If Yuma wanted to squash the sturdy fruit into a pulp, she needed to give it everything she got. She turned back, presenting her ass to the camera, shaking it a bit. "Here goes nothing..." She dropped her fat ass onto the watermelon from near standing position, hearing a slight cracking noise. "I think it's working!" She redoubled her efforts, jumping up and down as the watermelon started breaking apart, her ass violently jiggling and shaking with her rhythmic efforts. Each meaty slap of her ass pounded the watermelon further and further towards shattering open, hearing the sound of fruit and wood both breaking. Wait... wood?

"Oh, fu-" Yuma lost her breath and balance as it all gave way under her, watermelon and stool being decimated in tandem by her titanic butt. She fell forward as her legs sprang back reflexively, leaving her and the floor covered in splattered watermelon flesh, chunks of rind, and wood splinters. The remains of the chair, kicked by Yuma's sputtering, flailing limbs, collided with the mounted camera, tipping it over and sending the rest of the video into darkness. All that could be heard now were groans from the collapsed camgirl, though whether they were from pain or arousal was hard to determine.

[canyouhearthelight]

Nihilus Rex, Ch. 22: Banking Embers

Okay, so I was so busy patting myself on the back for getting a chapter up that I totally missed that it was the wrong chapter. Insert me smacking myself in the face when @baelpenrose pointed out.

Thankfully everything still applies: a good mix of fluff and machinations, and very much more co-written than beta read. Whew!

When Rome's in ruins

We are the lions

Free of the coliseums

In poisoned places

We are anti-venom

We're the beginning of the end

Tonight

The foxes hunt the hounds

It's all over now

Before it has begun

And we've already won

Fall Out Boy, “Young Volcanoes

Lash

Nils eventually came out of the master suite, carrying a bottle and sniffing it suspiciously. “This isn’t mine.”

I rolled my eyes and held out my hand. “White boy hair oil and brown girl hair don’t necessarily work well together. Thank you, I’ll stick it in my bag. Sorry.”

He snatched it back. “Nope. I like it, it’s staying here. In case you need another shower. Only practical. I’ll buy you another bottle on the way to take you home.” 

I smothered a smile as he padded barefoot back to the bathroom, returning seconds later to take his position on the far end of the couch - at some point, we had established ‘our’ seats, although I couldn’t pinpoint when. But his was on the left, mine was on the right. Everywhere. I shook myself out of my thoughts. “Food is ordered - hope saag paneer and double extra garlic naan is okay. I still can’t stomach the idea of meat at the moment.”

“Sounds perfect.” He leaned back in the couch. “So, what was so nuts about my idea that it beats…whatever movie we were going to watch?” 

“I didn’t say it was nuts, I said it was interesting,” I pointed out. “But to your point. Firstly, I am constantly caught off guard by how hopeful you can be for someone who is so pessimistic.  I don’t mean that as an insult, by the way.  But, secondly… I think it could work if - and only if - we think in the very long term.  Not scales of weeks, months, or years, but we’re talking generations.  Lifetimes.”

“A sunrise we’ll never see?” His tone was pensive. “Or in the sense that it will be an ongoing project whose endpoint will take several lifetimes beyond our own?” 

“In the sense that it may not even be the best idea if we live to see the sun finish setting,” I responded as gently as possible. “Studies show that sustainable, lasting change - good or bad - is done over time to gain momentum.”

“Which has the singular downside that I don’t know that’s time we have.” Nils said, thinking. “Behold the climate. There are places we can challenge capitalist control, and places we can replace it, fairly rapidly. We didn’t do it with debts, no, but we proved it could be done, that the system was weaker than people thought, and we got away clean. A lot of why rapid change is impossible to sustain is that the system is too load bearing, so our first play has to be to prove that we can take those loads away - which has the advantage of making us look like winners and making the powers-that-be look like conquerable fools. How many revolutions fail before they start simply because people don’t try? Because they think the system is invincible?”

I reached out and squeezed his thumb affectionately. “Hey, I agree. Keep in mind, I’m not beating the ‘Go Vote’ drum as the be-all-end-all, here.  We can definitely pull away those theoretically load bearing systems, one at a time, provided we are smart about what they are supposed to be propping up and how much we care if those loads crumble. Case in point, the debt heist we just did.”

The familiar, laughing-at-a-far-away-joke smile played about his lips as he looked at me, eyes focused entirely in the moment. “That’s why we’re partners. Never would have worked as well without you. I wouldn’t be trying this without you.” He reached out and gently squeezed my hand. “We can pick our targets carefully, but at some point we’re going to inspire copycats - and those people should have some means of finding us, so that we can guide them a bit, so they don’t fuck it up.” 

I shook my hair out, thinking.  Reaching back, I started twisting it, looking around and finding a pen to shove through it and keep it balanced. “We honestly aren’t all that sneaky, outside of the fact that we are very openly doing this under online personas that are very much hard to trace back to real people.  But I agree, we need something like a council - proxy real people who copy cats can reach out to when we are asleep or busy.  Like… Bishop, for sure. Weasel is out. Bryce may actually be a good option, though.”

Nils shook his head. “He wasn’t reliable to not steal from you and finish the job. He’ll roll over on us for any reward money in a heartbeat.” 

I pointed at him and winked. “Exactly. Bryce is motivated by money, pure, plain, and simple. We know what to watch out for, and we know how to hack him. Weasel… we can’t pay him in enough of his preferred currency to keep him from turning in half a breath. But Bryce?  Has a gambling addiction, a few hundred thousand in student loans, and parents who are always a hair away from cutting him off. If we can redirect some ill-gotten billionaire funds to keep him from getting killed by loan sharks, he’ll be loyal.”

“Point the first: We just torched a huge swathe of student debt, that was literally my original goal. Gambling addiction though, that’s interesting.” I thought about it. “My issue is that if the FBI offers enough he may take a bigger payday from them. Consider it for now, not a hard no. I like Bishop though. And we’re going to want someone to manage the psychopaths a little more directly, ideally someone who understands…frankly, weapons, tactics, and ideally isn’t a racist psychopath I have to string along with mind games.”

“We’re getting ahead of ourselves,” I suggested, just as the food arrived. “Am I safe to grab that, or should you?”

“I’ll get it.” He got up and headed down to go grab the food at the door. When he got back, he set the food down on the table and set out a plate in front of each of us. “Good call, this stuff smells amazing.”

I smiled. “Thank yew, thank yew. I could eat this every day, mass murder notwithstanding.” I started scooping rice and curry onto my plate before continuing. “So. Yes, we need a council, persons beyond Bishop to be determined. But we also need a figurehead.” With my fork, I pointed at my face vaguely. “Clearly not the person to visibly converse with racists, which are our primary market currently.” I started swirling the tines in his general direction. “However, you? Mr. Rich Boy Who Hates the Rich? Perfect.”

“We have to network with people who will look at my…everything…and know we’re bullshit, though. Ideally, we may want to have two different figureheads, for interacting with different crowds. You for our actual side of things, me for the rowdy and violent crowd? Bear in mind, we’re gonna need actual activists to set up the community shit to take advantage of whatever we do with our pawns.” 

“Activists don’t care what you look like,” I agreed before shoving a chunk of spinach covered cheese in my face and chewing thoughtfully. “But yeah, I can organize the actuals on the back end while you rally the minions in the front.   Right now, front work is going to be our focus.  Did the dead guys have life insurance? Families?”

“Based on chatter? One did. It came up alot.” His tone was unconcerned as he heaped his plate. “Are we thinking hitting life insurance next? For that matter, are we reaching out for a mutual edge? Get payouts for the victims of the fire and the widows and orphans of our retribution? An easy way to reunite “our” forces and get them refocused on the real enemy.” 

I waffled my hand while I chewed on naan. Swallowing I managed to get out, “Kind of both? Don’t get me wrong, if we just wiped out their mortgage and they still bombed the cafe? We can pro-rate that insurance, I know the math.  But also.” I started gesturing with my fork again. “Did you know that, in the absence of a clear beneficiary, most life insurance defaults to the state after three to ten years?  Waste of funds, plus the interest goes to the state, regardless. It’s gross.”

“That is uniquely disgusting,” he said, before shoving a large hunk of naam into his mouth. “Or, I’d say so if I hadn’t heard about. Other theft the state likes doing. But that’s directly addressable, right now.” 

I nodded enthusiastically. “So, you’re picking up what I’m putting down: unclaimed and excessive life insurance. Reroute that shit.”

“Sounds perfectly agreeable to me. To the poor, or to the recently widowed and orphaned of the country? I think both would be…pretty funny.” 

“Tired, poor, and huddled masses,” I toasted with a chunk of naan, rice, and curry. “Fuck the yearning, let’s make them free. Food banks, medical debts - until we can wipe those out - Hey.” I set my food down for a second. “Funnel the funds into a medical debt jubilee? Would that work better, or would another hack work better? We need an accountant or insurance adjuster on staff, I think.”  At this point, I was rambling, but in the groove and happy for once in the last several years.

“Second hack. We drop that kind of cash into the people who are real experts in making it matter the most, they’re legally required to find out who it comes from and how. We’re better off intercepting the shit they can’t buy yet.” Nils was grinning. “We can find an accountant though. Gotta be a way to start dumping money into this machine.” He blushed a bit. “I love seeing you smile again, Lash. For real, not just for cover.” 

I complied with a genuinely enthusiastic, sunny grin, spinach in teeth be damned. “I still think we need a risk-reward specialist on board,” I pointed out. “Keep in mind, we don’t need a licensed adjuster, just a trained one. Think of all the people who get educated in prison and can’t get employed. We can cultivate one, cherry pick.” At this point I was screaming high on endorphins and realized I sounded silly. “Or just… I dunno. Pay one who is willing to take the pay over the ethics. You might be right.”

“You didn’t even wait to hear my objections. I was going to say there’s no one trained for this, because we break that scale at both ends.” He was laughing too. “Then again as we get this council together, we’re probably going to run into that problem a lot if we go as far as we could.” 

I glanced around while I thought, and spotted a surprisingly dusty chess set.  Carefully, I brought it over to the table, set it down, scooted our food over, and sat on the floor. “So here,” I I picked up a king out of the box - it happened to be a white piece, but whatever, it was the first one I saw - “This is basically you.” I set it in place. “You think incredibly well in short term but you put your neck out without caring about the consequences, yes?”

He picked up the black king. “I don’t hate your analysis. But this is the side we’re playing. The system’s had at least one move on us a long time. We’re just moving back to react to the world we’re living in and trying to win anyway. Also, you know you’re setting me up as the piece we can’t win without - that the game ends if they manage to kill me.” He sounded oddly anxious about that concept.

I nodded and fished out the corresponding queen. “In theory, this is me - long term thinking, flexible, but not the figurehead. The movement doesn’t die with me.” Without waiting, I grabbed a bishop. “Obvious. But we need another, so I’m only putting one on the board right now.”  Fully committing to the metaphor, I fished all the pawns out of the box and placed them on the Black side. “These are your pawns. Appropriately, both useful, powerful, and sacrificial.”  To the side, I started setting the rest of the Black pieces. “Here’s what we don’t have.”

“An advisor, two specialists for atypical offense, and two builders to make whatever we want last. Okay.” He took a look. “Not king and queen of much of a court.” He glanced at me. “You were born to be a queen though, even if when we’re done there’s not going to be much in the way of monarchies.” 

I felt my face flush, and turned away so he wouldn’t see it.  Given how many times I had been subjected to similar pickup lines, I mentally scolded myself while I calmed down. Remember all the stupid lines about Nubian queens when you aren’t even from Africa, I asserted. And how many references to Cleopatra left you with a soggy date and an empty cup. “Capitalism, monarchies, whatever,” I managed to get out, “leaders need a council.  I assume you would object if I placed myself as King’s Rook - the one piece that can swap for the King in an assassination attempt in chess - so I accept being Queen. Fair?”

“We didn’t establish that I really bought the model that you’re more expendable than I am to the movement long-term.” He said, obviously thinking about something. “But if I can’t convince you of that, yes, you’re the queen.” 

I grabbed a bite of my now-cold paneer and nodded as I swallowed. “If it helps your conscience at all, these games rarely get far past the Queen being taken, unless you are playing against an absolute master or a total newb.”

He nodded. “Point.” He then proceeded, speaking in a voice somewhere between supervillain and flirting-teasing, with a grin that indicated he had an entirely new thing to tease me with, “So, ‘my queen,’ do you have a particular preference for the rest of our council that we should contact or discuss this evening?”

My face burning, I managed to keep facing him and steadily respond. “Bishop, first. Ask him for suggestions… Beyond him and Weasel, I don’t think we know a lot of the same folks.”  Surrendering, I dropped my forehead into my palm. “And please, for the love of everything, let me sleep on this big, fluffy, gorgeous couch tonight? I don’t want to even think of blaming anything that happens between us, non-professionally, as being due to trauma.”

He snorted. “I was going to be a gentleman and take the couch, let you have the bed, but if you insist on the couch, I’m not going to force you.” 

I started giggling, possibly out of tired delirium. “I flopped on the bed earlier,” I confessed. “It’s hard as a rock, so I will take the couch and suggest you get a softer bed.”

He shrugged, and boxed up what was left of the food. “Ah. Yeah. We can talk about that, if you were coming over here more often. But for tonight, yeah, take the couch. I’ll get you some blankets and pillows.” 

[pollenallergie]

Billy comes up behind you shyly: “Alright, petal?” He moves your hair to the side and places a soft kiss to your neck. “Been working really hard tonight. Worried about you. Can you afford a break?”

You credited him with the restraint it must have taken for him to leave you on your own to study your calculus. Usually, he loves to touch you and be with you. Tonight, you had asked for silence and space and he had granted you both. You had been working for hours and your brain was buzzing with all the thought required for the subject. His kiss brought you back to him.

His warm hands find your shoulders and start to softly knead your muscles. “Really tense, love. Don’t like that. Here, lean back against me. That’s good.”

Your arms drop to your sides and you let yourself go, thoroughly enjoying his ministrations and letting out a deep sigh.

“There’s my girl,” he whispers. “Maybe you should stop for a bit? Have some cuddle time?”

You can’t. You know if you did, cuddling would lead to sex. Sex would lead to sleep. And sleep would knock you out for hours and there would be no time to finish your work. No. You have to finish.

“You can finish later?” he asks, almost reading your mind, his voice like honey in your ear. “We’ll set an alarm. You can get back to it after that.” His fingertips stroke lightly up and down your neck.

Smiling at him, you nod. This sounds like a good compromise. Cuddles with a time limit will keep you from losing much of your momentum while giving you a much needed break snuggled in your man’s arms. The promise of his warm embrace and sweet kisses were too hard to turn down. Billy is so good to you.

You get up and head to the bed, laying on top of the covers and making space for your boyfriend.

He’s got his phone out and he’s setting his alarm. As he snugs in behind you, the big spoon to your little, and places more gentle kisses against your neck, you marvel that he’s so damn thoughtful. You can’t help the soft smile that spreads across your face. He’s the best man in the world. An angel on earth, really. Respectful. Kind. And with a sense of responsibility over your needs that makes you trust him implicitly. You let him call the shots on this one: just a little cuddle time and then right back at it. It’ll all be fine.

It’s not his fault that the time setting on the alarm is entered in for AM instead of PM…is it?

After all, Billy Knight is so very very good to you.

It’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine.

umm excuse me i’m literally in tears

no, seriously. this hath brought forth tears to my eyes. it’s sooooo wonderful and pure and precioussss and so perfectly billy!!! ughhhh!! your mind!!! it’s incredible!!!

i couldn’t even be mad at him for setting his alarm for AM because like he’s just!!! he’s so sweet!!! and he knows you’ve hit a wall, going back to work, even after a short break is just… it’s just not going to help you at all. you’ve reached the point where your mind is exhausted and nothing makes sense anymore… well, nothing except for anything and everything that’s got to do with billy. tonight he’s your source of stability, he’s your ground control, helping to keep you calm and keep your head on straight so that your brain doesn’t get overwhelmed and implode. maybe setting the alarm for a.m. instead of p.m. was intentional on his part, but, in his defense, he’s only looking out for you and trying his best to keep you healthy and safe and content. there will be no all-night cram sessions, not on billy’s watch, because they’re not good for you, they stress you out and rob you of the rest you so desperately need, and afterwards it always takes you so long to recover from them, to bounce back to your baseline. billy hates watching you suffer like that, so he simply won’t allow it. all-nighters are strictly forbidden in your household. billy’ll scoop you up and hall you off to the bedroom himself if he has to, anything to get you to get some proper rest and to leave all the stressful work stuff be for the rest of the night.

also the shoulder rub??? please and thanks. i like very much. i want. he would be so good at giving massages, i just know it. and he’d be so willing to give them too!!! because he’ll take any and every excuse to touch you and to dote on you!!! pampering you is his favourite activity. how fitting then that pampering him is your favourite activity. you’re really a match made in heaven.

[omegawhiskers]

Collision 29/10/23

A Classic Main Event

A lot of people thought MJF vs. Kenny Omega for the main event of Collision should of been kept for a PPV, but MJF was going to surpass Omega as the longest-reigning World Champion, so you have to do this match or it makes Kenny seem like a chump who doesn't value his title reign. I was reserved because I thought the The Man in the Devil Mask, Samoa Joe or Bullet Club Gold would get involved, leading to a DQ. This didn't happen. Instead, we got a match that will go down as a classic. Before I jump into the main event, let me share my thoughts on the rest of the show.

We got decent contest between AR Fox and Jay White, despite how I feel about both wrestlers. Fox has had many stop/starts and I feel they dropped the ball when they turned him heel and then back to face. This is meant to be his redemption arc, but it doesn't feel like a redemption story to me.

I feel White has been overshadowed by Juice Robinson. Also, with all the targets on MJF's back, Jay feels a bit lost in the shuffle.

Fox showed off some great aerial offense in this match, but it was not enough as Jay won with the switchblade. MJF tried to steal his belt back but failed.

The Bullet Club Gold stuck around as The Gunns squashed Brandon and Brent (The Boy's). I guess this is to give them more momentum when they wrestle for the ROH Tag Team Titles. There were quite a number of squash matches tonight.

The ROH World Television Title was on the line as Joe finished Rhett Titus off with the Coquina Clutch, in a short and dominant bout.

It turns out that Bryan Danielson has a shoot broken orbital bone and will be out for the rest of the year. Claudio Castagnoli is not happy about this and vows to avenge his BCC teammate by beating the shit of out Orange Cassidy and Kazuchika Okada.

Claudio comes to the ring fired up and easily defeats Tracy Williams. I like this side of Claudio, and now he has a mission over the next few weeks.

Ryan Nemeth knocked on CJ Perry's door. I really like Ryan and I do hope Dolph signs and tags with his brother. Unfortunately, Ryan doesn't get to speak with Perry as Miro answers the door and beats him down behind closed doors. Did Miro stick her name on the door just so he could beat up whoever knocks?

The AEW Women's World Title was on the line in a Fright Night Fight as Hikaru Shida defended her title against Abadon. This may have been one of the worst matches I've seen in a while, and that's disappointing to write. Shida is great (I loved her Ada Wong costume), but this week just hasn't been good for her. This match was slow, long and just unimaginative. Toni Storm came out post-match to flaunt. I think it's clear that Shida is keeping the belt warm for Storm.

Ricky Starks and Dax Harwood had a great match. During their bout the lights went out, and The House of Black appeared in the crowd. Dax gave Starks a sickening piledriver. Ricky returned the favour with his own piledriver to pick up the victory. This was a bizarre ending because Ricky just kicked out of the same move moments earlier. There was a post-match brawl as The House of Black came to the ring, but La Faccion Ingobernable came to save the day. I didn't think expect them to be faces, but I'm glad they are.

The story also progresses with Kris Statlander, Willow Nightingale, and Skye Blue. Kris and Willow try to get answers from Blue, but she blows them off.

At this point, Collision as whole was mediocre, thanks to the main event, this was about to become a top tier episode.

Omega hit the ring with Bret Hart inspired gear. Excellent choice by The Cleaner.

MJF would start with his strut, ‘’sportsmanship’’ chant, followed by a poke to the eye and a loud cheer from the crowd. Omega got the upper hand when he tossed MJF out of the ring followed with a dive over the top rope. Max would deliver with his own drive over the top rope striking Omega on the outside. A fantastic set of moves were traded back and forth. If things weren’t crazy enough, MJF received and snapdragon suplex on the side of the ring, followed by Omega sending MJF threw a table.

Both men traded insane move, after insane move, after insane move, and I was starting to think this was going to end in a time limit draw or a TKO.

At one point Don Callis came out with a screw driver in hand but that didn’t slow Omega down as I really thought he was going to win title, but MJF would end up getting the clean victory with the heat seeker. Callis coming out was the only criticism I had of this match; he just didn't add anything.

This may have been one of MJF's best match to date. I think these two worked on another level here. Next year I would love to see another Max/Omega match.

[dizzydispatch]

A Night in the Life

Day 1

0652. Medical comes in just before shift change, meaning it’s a cluster and a half (sorry, Ms. Carol, the guys were fighting over whose turn it was to deal with you and your angina this time). I should be on my way home, but I've gotta stay late so I don't saddle the morning shift with the burden of a half-finished call.

In the middle of the mess, Officer Areyougoingforaworldrecordintrafficstops? (nice name you got there / thanks, it’s German) has to get one last traffic stop in. Hey, here's an idea. If a medical call is currently being dispatched, instead of making me juggle that and your unnecessary traffic stops-- I don't know, maybe go to it?

0734. Thank you for threatening to pull me over for my broken tail light on my way into work tonight, Officer Hardass. I can’t even tell if you’re kidding or not. Guess I better go to the nearest auto parts store and replace my brake light in the freezing cold. 

0812. Good thing I did it here in the store parking lot before I left, because you guys sold me the wrong bulb. Oh, you don’t have the one I need? Great. Can I get that in writing for Hardass? Also, I was shivering so hard that when I tried to take the ill-fitting one out that I dropped it and it broke. But at least I’ve got the rest of the day to myself. Right?

828. Oops, I forgot that I agreed to tutor my GED student today. Was expecting to have the rest of the day, but hey, it’s for a good cause. I still have all afternoon to sleep and shower. 

1100. Call from my Lieutenant. Did I want today’s eve shift for overtime? I jumped for it. Eves are my favorite shift, after all, and every overtime shift that I put straight towards my student loans brings me 0.01083% closer to financial freedom.

1101. Realized that now I had to be back at the station in four hours, and we’re in the middle of a quiz. Too polite to kick my pupil out mid-quiz, I silently resign myself to not getting a shower today. 

1205. Finally, bed. Two blissful hours of--

1415. GOD that alarm is loud. Gotta get up and haul ass. No time to primp, just throw a bandana on, fresh uniform— aaaaand it’s damp.

Day 2

1500. Freezing My Butt Off Because My Uniform is WET and Dispatch is COLD.

1655. Remembered that as the dispatcher, I’m in charge of the dispatch office, and therefore I control the thermostat. Cranks heat. 

1938. Relentlessly mocked by Lieutenant about keeping Dispatch a sauna.

1941: Retaliated by playing up the cold symptoms related to an ongoing, non-contagious sinus infection, then fake sneezing on said (germaphobic) Lieutenant.

1956: Noise complaint from a guy whose neighbors are watching a movie "so loudly it sounds like World War Four in there." (I'm sorry, did I miss World War Three somehow? Any particular reason we jump right to four?)

2056: I should make some coffee. I sure hope the coffee machine isn't-

2057:

2143. Where’s Officer Goingforarecord when you need him? At least the constant traffic stops would be something to keep me awake. I guess the fact that the sun was out helped me forget that three in the afternoon to a night shift person is like everyone else's three in the morning.

2300:

0000: Is it seriously only midnight?

0100:

0200:

0300:

0400: My favorite officer to chat with has decided to let me talk his ear off. While I’d like to believe I am simply that good company, I also suspect that it’s because my mindless chatter is impossible to sleep through. He looks about as tired as I feel.

0500: After talking pretty much nonstop for an hour, my voice hurts. But if I stop, I’ll lose the momentum and adrenaline of a mostly one-sided conversation about the relative benefits of being a bandana girl. Sure, it’s not exactly a runway-worthy fashion statement, but can you tell how long it’s been since I washed my hair? 

0549: I wonder if this would make an interesting blog entry? Dispatch: A Night in the Life. 

0601: Should I at least format it into essay style? 

0636: Too tired. Transcript will have to suffice.

0639: I swear I know how to spell the word lieutenant, Mrs. Overton, my dearest seventh grade English teacher. I even use the pneumonic you taught us: lie-to-u-about-ten-ants. I’m just so tired, my brain won’t cooperate. (I won’t even tell you how many times it took me to spell pneumonic.)

0646: Wait, why would an officer lie about ants? Do we have ants in the station???

0649: I guess after the mouse that Dave’s mousetrap caught, a few ants shouldn’t be too much concern. 

0651: Almost time to...

0652: You have got to be kidding me, Carol.

[hmspogueobx]

Everything to me (Paul Lahote)

Chapter Twelve: Fighting newborn vampires for dummies

After a few all-nighters observing Jasper's 'Fighting newborn vampires for dummies' lessons, the pack is all squished around Sam and Emily's kitchen table for a pre-battle strategy meeting. Sam goes into full alpha mode as he goes over the plan.

"Jacob is already up in the mountain with Edward and Bella. They're going to stay up there through the battle to keep Bella away from the action. They made a trail with Bella's scent leading to the clearing to the northeast of the park. That's where the battle will happen. Seth will relieve Jacob at first light and Jake will come fight with us. Seth, your job is to help Edward protect Bella, should any of them get past us." Seth nods firmly like he's never taken any task more seriously in his life. Sam goes on.

"When the newborns come, we will be hidden in the tree line and surprise attack when they're in an optimal position. I will take the lead, with Jared and Paul on my flank. Everyone else follows in V formation and fan out. Make sure none of them get into the tree line. From there it's simple... Kill them before they kill you. Any questions?"

The group is quiet but buzzing with anticipation.

"This is going to be a piece of cake guys. There's nine of us and six Cullen's. Alright let's go. We sleep in the woods tonight!" Sam calls over his shoulder, he stops to give Emily a tender kiss, and marches out the door. Emily looks terrified, so I give her hand a squeeze as I pass her and whisper "I'll see you for lunch tomorrow cuz." and with a wink, I'm out the door.

We sleep in shifts on the hard forest floor until the sun comes up. We're arranged in our V formation, tucked away just out of sight for now. It's dead quiet as we all strain our ears for the sound of the oncoming horde of hungry angry newborns. We start to hear pounding feet and snarls, that gradually increase in volume. They're in the field now, we hear the Cullen's commence their attack, which cues Sam, Paul and Jared to dart forward, the rest of us seconds behind. I rush into the clearing and make an amazing leap over the boulder we were hidden behind.

There's vampires everywhere. They swarm the field like angry wasps but their moves are so predictable. I see one coming right at me and duck to the right at the last second, snapping my jaw sideways and pulling it's head from its body. Using the momentum from that, I whip my muzzle to the left and send another one flying into a tree on the edge of the space. I see Esme struggling to keep one's arms from wrapping around her and dive towards them. I use my front paws to kick the newborn off of her, so she can then finish it off herself. Another one throws himself at Esme and she grabs him and sends him soaring into the air. I take the opportunity and leap up, grabbing him between my teeth.

Just then, Jacob comes bounding through the trees, ripping into two newborns on his way, and stopping another from leaping onto Emmett. The odd sound of crunching glass surrounds us, which I've learned is the sound of vampires meeting their bitter end.

Across the field I see that a few newborns have crawled onto Paul's back and my heart leaps into my throat. But before I can panic too much, Emmet is there tearing them off.

At this point we're almost done, when we see through Seth's mind that Victoria and Riley are up in the mountains with them.

"You got this Seth. Follow your gut. Help Edward keep Bella safe." Sam orders.

We've just finished off the last of the newborns down here, Sam was right, piece of cake. Now we all wait and watch as Seth leaps out of his hiding spot and grabs Riley in his jaw.

"Yes Seth!" I congratulate him. Seth drags him away and starts to tear him to pieces. We can hear the shuffling of a fight over the ridge and it sounds like a pretty even fight. It's not until Seth climbs back over the ridge and sees Edward standing over Victoria's beheaded body that we all relax.

We've done it. We've won.

Thick purple smoke swirls all around us as we stand in the field victorious. I have shifted back into my human form in order to translate, telling them of what we saw happen in the mountains before Bella and Edward appear next to us.

Suddenly Leah perks up at the sight of a newborn missed.

"Leah don't!" I scream as she charges at the newborn. They roll around, and he almost gets her, but Jacob storms in and knocks him off. It's not long before the sound of crunching bones sends shivers down my spine.

"Jacob!" Bella yells and we all rush forward, Paul and Sam taking care of the newborn.

He's rolling on the ground, a silent scream on his face. The doctor says something about his bones but I'm not really listening. I'm sat on the grass in shock. Not being able to wrap my head around the fact that one of us actually got hurt... and bad. My mind flashes back to a rolling car. The sound of crunching metal and bone. My focus flickers between the agonized look on Jacob's face and my last look at Chantelle's. I don't even notice the tears pouring down my face. The boys bend down and gather Jacob as gently as they can, disappearing into the tree line with him focused on nothing but getting him home. I'm still sitting shocked in the grass when I'm yanked into a standing position by a cold hand.

"It's too late for her to get away now, they're almost here. They'd see her. Better for her to stay human and stand with us." Someone whispers hardly behind me.

As if out of nowhere, five hooded figures appear. I don't look up. I'm still stuck in my own mind. I do hear a small voice break the silence though.

"Impressive. I've never seen a coven escape an assault of this magnitude intact."

"We were lucky." Carlisle answers.

"I doubt that."

They continue their conversation, the sound of the little girl's voice putting me on edge. I finally peek up and around Emmett who was apparently standing in front of me to hide me from the strangers view. And my heart stops at the sight of the fifth woman, standing silently in the back. Black cloak thrown over her shoulders. Long brown waves tied up in a tight bun. Skin a chalky russet color.

"Mom?"

[roamwithahungryheart]

fic interview meme

I was tagged by @scratchybeardsweetmouth 💖

Name: LaurenWritesFics (AO3)

Fandoms I write for: Ted Lasso (but older work is multi-fandom)

Two-shot: My original intention for Everything Left Unsaid was for it to be a two-shot, but I can feel it starting to get out of control in my head the more I plan 😂

Most popular multichapter: If we're throwing it back to the good ol' days then it would have to be How to Outfox a Billionaire (which one day I swear I will get back to! Henry & Liza live rent free in my brain I swear!) BUT most recently it has to be Scenes From Another Life (which I'm working on & updating sometime tonight since it got delayed by birthday celebrations!)

Actual Worst Part of Writing: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a writer in want of a story has to start it - getting those ideas out of my head and onto the page is one of life's hardest chores.

How you choose your titles: I've been programmed since finishing my degree to go for the most cinematic title I can come up with - I sit and imagine what it would look like as a film/TV show and pick a title that's snappy enough to match the vibe! Sometimes a phrase gets stuck in my head at random, though and it just feels right.

Do you outline: I should, but I don't. I just start with free writing and refine it as I go.

Ideas I probably won’t get to but it would be nice: Oh boy, if only you could see the folder full of original fiction ideas I've amassed over the years...one day I'll get around to them. One day...

Best writing habits: First and foremost I'd say trust your gut. The story you want to write is worth writing. Just give it a shot and see if the passion is still there once it's on the page. If it is, get a routine together to keep the momentum going. I seem to get the most motivation to write on Sundays, I don't know why, so I try to stick to banging out as much as I can so I can work on it bit by bit in the week. Even if you give yourself one allotted day to write, that's still a good way to keep the idea fresh in your mind.

Spicy opinion: Oh boy, my former screenwriting tutors are gonna hate me for this, but - 'show, don't tell' is a rule made to be broken. Sometimes the thing you show on screen/in your writing gets lost in translation and frustrates the audience/reader. A little context sometimes goes a long way. Don't hold the audience's hand and use a scene as 'payoff' because that can backfire (sorry to Rebecca's adventures with The Flying Dutchman, but, I'm looking at you Matthjis).

Leaving this open to anyone who wants to do it! x

[blkkizzat]

Up next...

My friends are in town but in our down time I've already started the second fic, this one (should be) alot shorter and its only one part.

"Bumpy Ride" featuring Geto x Reader is already started.

Optimistically seeing as I have Beyonce tonight, finishing a group project Friday night, presenting said project Saturday, I am hoping to be done by Sunday but Monday might be more realistic.

I definitely am in a writing mood so trying to keep the momentum going as much as I can.

[quaranmine]

alright, stats time. numbers! percentages! analysis!

GO ME! i finished my writing challenge last night. though i have done them before, i have never had a 30 day streak--my longest was 11 days, previously.

NANOWRIMO "GOAL": 50k words in a month. lol nope i didn't even plan to do that but that's the perspective i'm putting the post in

MY GOAL: add 30k to IBW.

fail. i added 5.2k to IBW in the end, the equivalent of finishing just one chapter. basically, I completed 17% of my goal. not something I'm happy about but i did inevitably mostly get past a thing that was giving me trouble.

MY SECOND GOAL: add 30k aggregated to any projects

total word count: 21,366. that's techinically a fail but i'm not gonna count it because i reached 70% of my target wordcount AND THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!! 70 is a passing grade afterall :] if we want to put this in perspective of nano, i basically completed 40% of nano, which is great for a first-ever run (especially since i have never completed a 50k fic so far, let alone in a month. baby steps for me, i just do not write that quickly.)

MY THIRD GOAL: write something every day

SUCCESS! i did do that and i am very proud of it. it was shockingly hard sometimes. during the challenge i was like "i am never doing this again" and now literally less than a day after im like "hm i should do this again next year!" why am i like this? who knows!

So, let's look at other stats.

Number of fics worked on: four. (IBW, grumbot fic mainly, hitchhiker's au, and tumble town gothic)

Fanfic started and completed within the month: do you see no ghosts in me at all? (13,651 words). This means that ~64% of my time was spent on this fanfic, compared to any others (if we go by word count, as i don't remember which days specifically were used on this versus the others)

Average daily wordcount: 712 words. again, to reach the 30k goal i needed roughly 1k on average per day, so this is again about 70% of that. It is worth noting that my average for my last writing challenge in the spring was 548, so I did much better on average this month despite being forced to do it in a much longer streak. that's probably because the 0 wordcount days in the last challenge dragged the average down, so writing every day helped me a lot.

Lowest daily WC: 131

Highest daily WC: 1897

i think both of those were the same fic actually (grumbot fic.) the low wordcounts mostly represented lack of time, as i would stop writing whenever it got so late that i started falling asleep midsentence. however low wordcounts on IBW mostly represent lack of inspiration, except for the day 30, where it represented research.

all in all, i think it was a successful challenge. i'm still in writing mode and was already thinking about what i could do tonight, which is great because like...i am no longer beholden to this challenge but am still wanting to keep going (i'll just likely not force myself to do anything anymore if it's like 11:30pm and i havent done anything. i will just go to bed instead.)

the main lesson here is that i can Do Things when i want to really force myself to do, which is good because i often doubt my own abilities especially in connection with my writing. it's very personal compared to other stuff i do, so i very much love and appreciate everybody's support and kind reviews because i straight up would not be here or doing any of this without you. like i would have just gone back to hide under a rock lol.

i feel like completing these challenges gives me a lot more confidence in myself and my abilities, and gives me momentum to make consistent progress on my works even when things are a little rough. sometimes in writing you just Gotta Do It even if there isnt much inspiration, because it'll unlock the way for other scenes where you DO have inspiration.

now then. if someone can tell me why i was able to fully complete inktober for two years in a row, and pull off two of these writing challenges in one year, but CAN'T stick with actual responsible adult habits--

[doom-cookie1]

I just finished the rough draft of chapter 8, so I'm thinking of updating FtA tonight. But maybe I should wait a little, let 8 resonate with me for a bit, update on the weekend. I'm just not sure how long I'll keep up this momentum, I'm kinda going by the seat of my pants a little. Everyone has been super encouraging/supportive though! So feel free to peer pressure me!

[a-lucha-brother]

AEW DYNASTY 2024 PREDICTIONS

(Lol guess who thought Dynasty was NEXT week and not TONIGHT.....this guy right here, so here's an impromptu predictions list for y'all)

Buy in:

Six Man Tag "Title For Titles Match" for the AEW World Trios Championships AND ROH Six-Man Tah Team Championships (lol what):

The Acclaimed vs Bullet Club Gold

The Acclaimed are going to be obvious winners here.....or will they?

Yeah, they probably will. But I won't be upset either way, BCG could do with a rub and away from this fued and The Acclaimed need something at this point in the game.

Finish: Mike Drop on Austin Gunn

Singles Match:

Trent Baretta vs Matt Sydal

Gonna be Trent ofc, need to keep that heel turn momentum going on the road to getting that OC fued properly up and running.

Finish: One, maybe 2 piledrivers from Trent along with evil look into the camera.

Tag Match between Orange Cassidy and Katsuyori Shibata vs Shane Taylor Promotions

AEW has a stick up their ass about Cassidy losing matches (must have a cmause that says only losses 1 in every 100 matches) so I can't see anything else happening but a win......unless Trent wants to be MY best friend and interfere maybe? 👉👈

Finish: Orange Punch/Shibata punt combination

MAIN CARD:

AEW International Championship

RODERICK Strong (c) vs KYLE O'Reilly

Call me crazy brother, but even with all the shenanigans that are going to go down I still think Kyle will win. It just seems right, and AEW really needs to start doing what seems right more often regardless of whether it frequencies the belts around. The question is, does this lead to Kyle joining The Unidsputed Fuckboys? Who knows! Hopefully!

Finisher: whatever the fuck Kyle does to hurt people.

FTW Rules Match for the FTW Championship:

Hook (c) vs Chris Jericho

Firstly what the fuck does FTW rules even mean? Isn't the whole point of that belt is that it was supposed to do away with being limited by rules? Idk man, I've ranted about this belt before and I won't do it again. But call me crazy brother, but I think if you want to keep this going and keep massive heat all over it, you give the belt to Jericho and have Hook go through "The Seven Labours of Jericho" to get it back. Don't call me a booker, but someone needs to give TK my number so we can make money together.

Finisher: Jericho distracts the ref, shenanigans Hook and then "submits" him with the Walls.

6-man Tag Match:

Edgedam Copeland, King of the Bums and YEEHAW Briscoe vs The House of Black

Christ on a fucking crutch, just let the House win and let's all go home happy alright? Alright!

Finish: Black Mass, I won't stand for anything else.

House Rules Match for the TBS Championship (WOO!):

Julia "By God" Hart (c) vs Womp Womp Nightingale:

I swear to god if Willow wins this damn belt I'm going to strangle the life put of my cat. See the previous match for what I think should happen. Let the House win, push them to the high heavens and let's go home happy. NOBODY wants Willow to win thus and they say they do they're lying.

Finish: Julia pulls out a gun and puts us out of our misery.

Continental Championship:

Kazuchika Okada (c) a.k.a. ME vs Pac

Oh ya bastard I think this is going to be my match of the night. These two are going to beat the absolute hell out of each other. And any nae sayers over Okada are about to be convinced by him now.

Finish: RRRRREEEEAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

Ladder Match for the vacant AEW World Tag Team Championships:

The EVPs of Youth vs Fear the Top Guys

Well slap my balls and call me Shanice I think for the first time in my entire life I actively want Matthew and Nicholas Jackson to win a match. Miracles truly have happened in the world of professional wrestling and this is that miracle. I just think The Elite need to run complete riot over AEW for the next year until Kenny Omega comes back. And I'm ALL IN for it brother. WOO!!!

Finish: 81,035 EVP Triggers (oh and pulling the belts off from the top of the ladders)

AEW Women's World Championship:

CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!!

Timeless Toni Storm (c) vs Thunder Rosa

I'm glad Rosa is finally getting her rubber match for the title she never lost. But still, it's been too long, that ship as sailed and the Timeless Era is here to stay, like a fine wine.

Finish: some posterior related move

WILLIAM BY GOD OSPREAY VS BRYAN ON GOD DANIELSON

I cannot begin to even predict this because I can think of 5 different variables as to where they can go with this right off the top of my head. So I'm just going to sit back and enjoy this one (even though Will is probably going to win). Tbh there's actually a really good chance that the Don Callies Family will try to help him cheat to win, he'll refuse and Bryan will win off the distraction. But who knows really.

Finish: oh, well, I just kinda gave you one there 🤷‍♂️

AEW World Championship:

Samoa Joe (c) vs WHOSE HOUSE?

I'm telling you brother, Samoa Joe has been my guy for the past 20 years, I always got Joe's back, but what did I say right at the top of all this? AEW really needs to learn to just do the right thing at the right time and Swerve Strickland is absolutely the right thing to do right now (hell it was the right thing a year ago!).

Finish: Something fucking bonkers

And with that, I'm spent. And I bid you, adieu