#if i start writing non-crack fics on this account

[mrpuzzlessimp420]

Mario Simulator (Joke Fic)

Chapter 1

Ships: Marware, BatteryAcid (Mr Puzzles x Orange Juice), SMG34 (minor)

Mushroom Akademi was your normal pseudo-japanese highschool and Mario was a normal student.

He had... awful as shit grades because he didn't concentrate in class (god I wish I was that carefree ) and had a decent enough reputation, expect for that one incident where he was caught... you don't want to know what he was caught doing.

Anyway, Mario was normal.

He awoke to his loud two trucks alarm and started to get ready for the day. Putting on his highschool girl uniform that definitely did not look like the sailor scout uniform, not brushing his teeth and grabbing a plate of spaghetti to eat.

He quickly checked his phone to see that it was... 8 a'clock??? He was going to be late and get told of by SMG4 because of it!

Spaghetti plate still in hand, he rushed out the door, trying his best not to trip and be a clutz like he always is.

He eventually arrived at the school, only 2 minutes late and ran to his class, before realising he had no clue where he was going and had to check his timetable, which he also realised he lost like 5 months ago.

After 10 minutes of searching for his class, he finally found it and sat down in his seat, absolutely exhausted, spaghetti plate still in hand.

"Mario? You're late again? This is the 20th time this week! You know what I don't care, just don't be a nuisance like yesterday." Karen stated, not giving a crap about Mario because she is a girlboss, a legend and the moment.

The lesson went surprisingly quickly as the entire time Mario was finishing of his spaghetti or talking to SMG4 about memes or some cringey shit like that.

When the lesson and 2nd period was over, it was finally break.

Mario ran to say hello to his friends before a figure caught his eye.

The figure was a tall, handsome TV head giving out audition leaflets for a school play, rather dramatically you could say... and pathetically as he was literally on his hands and knees begging one student to join, a crying baby face replacing his normal emotes on his TV head.

Mario's heart skipped a beat. Oh how he had fallen for this TV head for the past couple of months. Yeah he tried to mind-control his friends to force them to preform in a everlasting play but that was ages ago. Honestly, Mario was down bad for him, his patheticness, his passion for the arts, his dramatic nature. I mean he was even good to look at, I mean look at those cables and wires (bro 😭) .

"Mario? MARIO!"

Mario finally snapped out of his god damn solioquy and lovestruck pinning just to be faced with a very annoyed SMG4.

"Where you even listening to anything I said?" SMG4 asked, pissed that Mario hadn't been listening for the 100th time this week.

"Uhhhh..." Mario said before saying the most, disgusting, revolting thing you ever have seen that had to be censored for the sake of EVERYONE'S sanity.

"What? No??? I was explaining the entire FNAF lore." SMG4 explained like the cringe pathetic loser he is.

"I honestly still don't get it." Meggy stated

"I do." SMG3 stated, with lovestruck eyes that told everyone in the room that he did not understand anything SMG4 just said and just liked to hear SMG4's voice

"Ha ha Gayyyyyy!" Mario shouted before being punched in the face by SMG3

"Shut Up! You like Mr Puzzles!!!" SMG3 declared, deflecting Mario's accusation back onto Mario.

"That's because he's-" Mario was once again censored by the Great Fanfic Writer in the sky who didn't want to write out the disgusting thing Mario just said about Mr Puzzles

"We.. didn't need to know that but anyway what was I on about again?" SMG4 asked, forgetting his entire lore dump he just did a few minutes before hand.

"You were on about the lore of FNAF?" SMG3 stated, looking back at SMG4 with eyes that were screaming with 'I love you so much, I want to hear your voice all the time, we are friends, we are literally soulmates made for each other, I would literally die and kill for you.'

"Oh yeah!" SMG4 was a oblivious idiot and didn't notice SMG3's obvious pinning "Anyway Foxy Bro killed his own brother or some shit and got really depressed ig, couldn't be me"

SMG4 went on to ramble about FNAF again but Mario got bored immediately. Why would anyone care about a Purple Guy and some dead children? The lore was way to complex for Mario's stupid little brain anyway, he couldn't even count to 10 let alone remember all of that.

Mario's focus went back to the pathetic Vox look-alike and sighed lovely.

He was perfect to Mario. Absolutely perfect. Though he was a bumbling idiot and still not fully redeemed, he was harmless and Mario knew he could fix him.

Mr Puzzles was now acting like that desperate clinging to a student to get them to join didn't happen and was still handing out leaflets for the audition.

Maybe Mario could audition? It's not like he had anything better to do with his life other than eat spaghetti and annoy SMG4 24/7. And it gave him the excuse to hang out with the handsome TV head.

Before Mario could think any longer, a new character appeared on screen and jokely spooked Mr Puzzles, which caused Mr Puzzles to jump and move his hands dramatically like a primary schooler trying way to hard in a poorly done school play.

Mario immediately didn't like this new figure. How dare they spook their one and only true love? And be friendly with him? (Damn Mario just let him have friends, he needs them desperately)

The figure was tall, taller than Mr Puzzles in fact which was a surprise, and extremely buff, looking like that one yaoi art base (you know the one). His head was replaced with a glass of orange juice which for some reasons had eyes on it, like working eyes. Mario didn't question it though as the canonical SMG4 universe was already lacking of lore on how the fuck Mr Puzzles is alive after he cut his head off.

"Awww, did I scare you pookie bear? I'm sorry~!" the figure said, kissing his lover on the check loving.

"I-It's okay OJ-Kun! You just scared me a little that's all." Mr Puzzles said, extremely flustered and shy now out of no where, acting like a uwu soft twink.

Mario was seething with anger. Mr Puzzles had a lover? A boyfriend? This was not okay. Only Mario could be his boyfriend and if he couldn't, then no one could.

An idea popped into Mario's head, quite surprising as he probably didn't have any braincells left.

A very... unique idea.

You see, there was something actually... unnormal about Mario.

He was what you would call...

A yandere.

(part 2 when??? Lol)

[devilmademewriteit]

Ultraviolence

pairing: raider!joel miller x fem!afab!reader

summary: thank god—a handsome stranger saves you from the grips of a pack of cruel, cruel men. unfortunately, said stranger, joel miller, is cut from the exact same cloth as the rest of them.

warnings: oh. boy. rough sex/smut (fem penetration, fingering, cum play if you squint) so 18+ only content; fem!afab!reader; raider!joel; canon typical violence; mentions of hair pulling/reader having long hair; light dacryphilia; age gap; pet names (baby, darlin’, sweetheart, girl); slapping, spanking, choking; !!!NONCON!!! (sexual violence/assault, coercion, allusions to more sexual abuse—Dead Dove, Do Not Eat y’all, protect yourselves).

word count: 4k+

no use of y/n in this fic

alright y’all!!! here is the non-con raider!joel fic!! stay tuned for the version coming out soon wherein Joel actually rescues the reader LOL join the taglist to be notified when I post it!!! y’all’s requests will quite legit be the death of me BUT this was fun to write so im not mad. this version is just purely depraved & Joel ‘Big Dick’ Miller is a mean mean man. wrote it pretty fast too so b nice 2 me.

love u all, sorry for searing your eyeballs:)

-em<3

—

The stucco prickles and tears at the flushed skin of your cheek, a reminder that it’ll be winter soon. The birds are sure of it, and most of them managed to get away before the frost stood a chance of nipping them.

You didn’t.

After a few years of non-stop struggle, losing everything but your own life, you figured there were worse ways to go. At least you would be… well—you, in the end.

In whatever shape this man and his leering group of accomplices left you in.

“Against the wall,” and his voice had been the crack of a whip, snapping by your ear as electricity shot up and down your spine, as the tingling realization that the chase was over—the jig, up—settled into your bones. “Spread your fuckin’ legs.”

There were more hounds around… waiting.

Always waiting.

They’d already gotten to your old, tattered clothes. The brisk air bites at your exposed skin, but at least the cold would account for the violent shivers wracking your limbs. Even as the beast pins you to the side of the decrepit house, forces himself between your knees, your primary preoccupation is to stifle your fear.

They’d get everything else on display—but they would never get to see that.

When the screaming starts, those confused grunts, huffs, and squelches of a blade carving into flesh, you mostly commend your own imagination:

“I did it. I’m in my happy place. This will be quick, then.”

But then a rough, unfamiliar hand grabs hold of your naked waist, flipping you around, slamming your spine against the frosty stucco.

This is real.

And you bear witness to his carnage.

He painted the side of the house into a mosaic of inter-mingling blood, splattered like a Pollock against the grass, the wrinkled clothes and the rugged face of your salvation.

His eyes rake over your still-trembling body before he wrenches a red-coated knife—never breaking eye-contact—from the throat of the man you’d been at the mercy of just a few seconds ago.

Blood gushes up from the fatal wound, and you both watch the cruel scene, mesmerized. The attacker’s eyes dull, all evil dissipating from that once-ferocious gaze. The rescuer’s big, wide hands flip him over, stripping him of his stained beige jacket. Then, he carelessly kicks the lifeless form face-down onto the yellowing grass.

“Put it on.”

You uncross your arms, snatching the coat from the stranger’s extended hands. It doesn’t bother you, its belonging to him.

He’s dead; you get his coat.

A fair exchange.

He keeps an eye on you as he sorts through the pickings: a few strips of dried meat here, a loaded gun there (two bullets in the clip—you watch as he checks), and a few good blades, stashed inside pockets, bags, and down shirt-fronts.

The man straightens up.

Tall.

“Get in front of me,” his low baritone strikes you, causing your knees to concede to a slight wobble. “You run, you die. Got it?”

Texan.

Slowly, you nod, and a firm grip circles your wrist, tearing you from the wall.

“Walk.”

Your heart hammers—near deafening in your ears—as the stranger stalks behind you, directing your trembling movements with brusque, snapped commands.

Finally, the scattered orangey-red leaves begin to multiply, the domestic remnants of a past civilization thinning. The neighborhood opens into a field; large oaks and slouching willows shiver under the weak glare of the afternoon sun.

There’s a house up there. It seems to be in alright shape (some things are built tougher than others) and it’s certainly a step up from a few of the more… unsavory places the outbreak had led you to.

Nearing it, you take not of how much it resembles a barn-house. Red, pentagonal roof, and a big, wide, brown front door.

Gingerly stepping a foot on the cracked wood of the porch, you turn to face your rescuer, uncertainty tying slippery knots in your tummy.

Because there’s clamour coming from inside. There’s people in there.

The momentary hesitation allows you to get a good look at your rescuer: he’s greying and dark—mixed, likely, or just disposed to a stubborn tan—and probably in his mid forties. Probably handsome, too, if it weren’t for the resident cruel scowl deepening his apathetic expression, or the violence dancing in his eyes.

A raise of his eyebrows.

“I tell you to stop?” He nods towards the looming house. “Move.”

But… you don’t.

“Are you gonna kill me?” and you’re downright shocked by the strength—the resignation—of your tone, the way the question comes out so matter-of-fact.

That sparse mustache crinkles in the corners, teasing into something wicked. “You want me to?”

“No.”

“So get movin’, then.”

That left little room for debate.

So, you turn, fingers and knees shaking with anxious anticipation. He cuts in front of you at the last minute, shoving the front door open with his knife at his side—for you or for something else, you’re not entirely certain.

He pulls you into the foyer by your forearm; to your great dismay, you’re faced with an entire group of middle-aged men. Killers—for sure—leering at you with that same starved, animalistic look your rescuer had fixed you with.

Then, he tosses the bag on the floor.

“Found ‘em by the school. Decent haul.”

Their eyes tilt to your shuddering frame, dwarfed by the jacket weighing down your shoulders. One of them looks strangely familiar, proud features reminding you of something else you were afraid of. “No shit, huh,” he commends, “Nice work, Joel.”

Joel.

As the shaggy-haired man speaks, his voice strikes familial resemblance, and it dawns on you. Your rescuer’s brother, or at the very least a cousin.

And what he says is a clearly marked taunt. That much is clear. Uttered with the kind of cruel camaraderie which collected on the tongues of men who committed acts of violence together.

Who hunted together.

And it’s obvious you’re not being rescued. Just… reclaimed. Redistributed.

Fuck.

Another voice joins the mix. “How much you think y’could get for her?”

Joel’s profile turns, harsh, brutal lines forming as he assesses you. “Depends,” and then—ohmothermary—he smirks.

“Gonna have to test her out first.”

A few snickers.

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

You’re trapped with nowhere to go, once again surrounded by a gaggle of soulless monsters. Fear grips you, but thankfully, it’s muted, now, having been mostly expended during the harrowing events of the morning.

Just an hour ago, pressed to the side of an abandoned house, you’d allowed yourself to give up.

So, it feels easy—natural—settling back into that rhythm.

To submit to your inevitable, violent fate.

Joel’s voice cuts through the clamour of your racing thoughts. “Upstairs, the room with the open door. Go.”

Eyes glued to the floor, you put one foot in front of the other, your insides twisting and turning inside your core. Fuck, you can feel the pairs of eyes following you with every step you take. The stairs creak as your weight presses into them, squealing like wounded prey.

“N’ take that fuckin’ jacket off,” Joel calls after you, the echoes of his booming voice and the group’s degrading laughter chasing you all the way up into the room—the one with the open door.

And it’s nice, surprisingly. Dusty, admittedly, and clearly having belonged to someone else—a long, long time ago—but the bed is made, the window lets the light in, and the walls remind you of cinnamon.

No, this wouldn’t be the worst prison. Or the worst place to die. It’s a sure-fire step up from the gutter between two dilapidated houses.

You keep the jacket on, shivering under its weight. Even as you hear footsteps climbing the stairs, even as the more rational, civilized side of your mind urges you to accede to your (non)rescuer’s every command.

The conversation downstairs dies off just as Joel rounds the corner, appearing in the doorway—a giant. Though your stomach lurches, and though your legs feel like putty, you hold your ground.

“I’ll fight, you know,” you hiss, watching him seal off the entrance to the room behind him. His flannel has droplets of blood on the collar—reminders of your previous captor—would your other attacker have been a better option? Who’d be more merciful to your quivering body?

You charge your voice with every last modicum of strength at your disposal. “I’ll fight.”

He turns, smirking softly at your clenched fists. “S’good, sweetheart. I like a little fight.” He stalks towards you, swiping his thumb along the plushness of his bottom lip, his intimidating presence forcing your back to meet the flat hardness of the wall behind you.

So much for fighting.

There’s nothing living in his eyes as he says it—nothing save the roiling flames of hunger: “You see those guys downstairs?”

You glare up at him, trying not to notice the alluring hook of his nose, or the way your body works against you, responding to the earthy smell of him.

Then, you nod, wordlessly.

“Did you count ‘em?” He splays a hand beside your head, using one hand to pry your arms uncrossed.

Again, you nod. “How many?” He asks, his voice deceptively soft.

“Five.” Breathless.

“S’right, sweetheart. Ever had your lil’ holes stuffed by five guys at once?”

A swallow, and your voice cracks when you’re finally able to put it to use. “No.”

He pries your elbows to your sides, pulling the beige fabric open, revealing the torn remains of your underwear.

It’s almost a croon, feigned concern underpinning his low tone. “You wanna see what it’s like?” He drinks in the sight of your bare chest, almost groaning at the sight of your naked front.

It’s not cold anymore; no, suddenly you’re very hot.

“No, please, no.”

He slips the coat off of your shoulders, letting it fall in a heap to the ground. He assesses you once more: studying every square inch of your skin under his shadowed eyes.

“M’only gonna say this once, sweetheart.” All that fake-gentleness fades from his tone, replaced by the sadistic, authoritative timbre he’d first greeted you with. “I need you to be very careful.”

You’re frozen—all that fight, it drains out of you, captivated by the raider’s looming form, his mesmerizing speech.

“You’re alone, yeah?” A nod, which he acknowledges, trailing a hand up the length of your waist. “S’what I thought. N’ the way I found you today? That’s a best-case-scenario for a girl like you, out here on your own.”

He drags a finger up the centre of your breast, skilled fingertips just barely brushing the peaked nipple. You lean into his touch—the near imperceptible arch of your back doesn’t go unnoticed, and you kick yourself internally as the corners of his lips twitch up.

Still, the raider ignores your trembling.

“You’re mine, now,” he continues, egged on by your involuntary movement. “Means you’re gonna be a good girl n’ do as I say, n’ I’ll make sure I’m the only man who touches you.” His big hand drops to his heavy silver buckle, and the clearly defined, bulging lines underneath it have your heart clawing out of your chest. Joel senses your fear—and it only makes him harder. “I don’t like sharin’ what’s mine, y’know? But you try anything—you step outta line—I’ll throw you to my guys downstairs.”

His hand finds your throat, hunger and warning beating to the same rhythm in his gaze. “I have no problem watching.” He gives your larynx a squeeze, multitasking as he pulls the strap of his belt through the worn loops of his denim. “Understood?”

You have no words left, shaking from head to toe as the reality of the situation finally settles in.

As he works the intimidating weight of his cock out of his jeans.

A huff. Joel flips you over, impatient, pressing your scraped up cheek to the cinnamon-brown of the wall.

Déjà vù.

Your knees are separated by his own, and his weight flattens you. He wastes no time: lining himself up, his tip separates your folds. Resistance is futile—with one hand, he holds your thighs open—even as they try to press themselves closed, even as you whimper at the rough, male knuckles pressed to bruise on the insides of your legs.

Leaving his mark.

It’s not an option to simply take it. Joel forces you to participate in the sinful act: “I asked you a fuckin’ question,” he growls, gripping your chin indelicately. “You understand me, girl?”

A swallow and a flinch as you feel the head of his cock poke at your entrance. “Yes. Okay. Yes.”

“Yes, Joel,” he corrects. “Use my name. You’re mine now. Use my fuckin’ name.”

Tears prick the corners of your eyes at the promised savagery in his tone. Holding back a sob, you respond: “Yes, Joel.”

You watch his hand, large and capable, splaying out a mere inch away from the tip of your nose. “Good,” he commends. “Z’are the only fuckin’ words you know, from now on.”

His free hand slaps against your hip, yanking you down onto his hard length. Your hips buck up against his abdomen, responding to the pull of his fingertips, even as you cry out at the sting, the stretch. The raider tries to force himself between your walls—muttering a grunted “shit”—and thrusting up against your ass.

But you’re too tight, too tense, and your stubborn body refuses to open up for him. Finally listening to you.

“Relax,” he orders, surprisingly softly. He moves his hand from your hip to the apex of your thighs, rubbing rough circles against your clit. Fuck, how’d he find it so fast? You gasp at the feel of his fingertips against your most sensitive, touch-starved spot, hating yourself for the way his pressure makes you feel.

Because…

Because—fuck.

It feels… good. The man knows exactly what he’s doing—methodical in his ministrations, prepping you only enough to ensure his own eventual pleasure. “S’too tight, baby,” he breathes against your neck, “Need to loosen up for me, yeah?”

He’s not gentle. No part of it is gentle. Nonetheless, pleasure ripples through your centre and down your thighs as he effectively turns you on.

“Thaaaaaa’s right,” and his voice is mocking and taunting and degrading as he drags his digits away, grabbing and pulling at your breasts, instead. Feeling the involuntary release of your cunt, Joel finally pushes himself in, sheathing the long, thick length of his cock inside you.

“Need to show this pussy what it’s fuckin’ made for.”

A current of pain flutters up your cunt just as he fills it up to the brim. You can’t help it—your stoicism crumbles to dust—and a soft, scared, pained whimper tumbles from your lips.

And he groans at it, thrusting roughly, over and over again. And again. “Hurts, does it?”

His breath is hot against your ear, and despite the fear, the ancient instincts gripping your bones, telling you to run, run, run, fight, fight, fight—it’s… enticing.

Hot.

“It hurts.”

He laughs, low and dark, bringing his hands to circle your hips, steadying you as you stumble on your tip-toes.

“Cry about it.”

And he keeps on going, tearing you open. The way his girth touches every starved part of your insides leaves you wanting, even despite the sting of his fingernails biting into your hips, the tears and cuts stinging at your opening.

You hate yourself for it.

But you clench around him, stifling a pathetic moan.

God, no—I am not enjoying this.

He breathes another laugh. “Feelin’ full, baby? Tell me how good it feels, c’mon,” and your inhalations come in heaves as he pounds into you, delivering a harsh slap to the side of your hip, hard enough for your skin to ripple from the contact. “Do as I say.”

When you refuse to sate him, swallowing all of your little noises, Joel grips your throat, bringing your head slamming against his shoulder. Your back arches into a perfect crescent, spine contorting at his will. A gasped cry fans out against his salt-and-pepper jaw.

A sob—of fear, of frustration, of reluctant pleasure. “You’re evil.”

The grip on your throat tightens, and he looses another laugh, squeezing your skin, muscles, and tendons oh-so-tight.

You’d be wrecked, bruised—branded—come sunrise.

“Yeah?” He groans, cock slamming up into your very guts.

“M-mhmm—” and the saltwater tears start pouring, trailing glistening slopes down your cheeks in long, long lines. Distantly, you hear his answer—“Yeah, well, you’re wet”—as those silver droplets keep on falling. Where they come from, you aren’t certain; of course, the terror, the physical torture, and the frustration at your entrapment contribute to the mess under your eyes.

But that warmth… the unbridled desire radiating between your thighs… that wasn’t helping, either.

“Fuuuuck,” he groans, muttering another “S’it—s’right,” and releasing your throat to tilt your head up to face him. He drinks in his creation, the ruined sight of your tear-stricken face, and his cock swells between your beaten walls. “God, you look so fuckin’ pretty takin’ it from me—cryin’ like your lil’ pussy ain’t desperate for this.”

Joel smiles when you sob.

It goes on for a while. He doesn’t tire quickly, bringing you right up to the edge of reluctant ecstasy before you remind yourself of the hatred you owed the man fucking into you. You get used to the sound of his hips snapping against your skin, your cries mingling with his gravelly, low grunts. It’s a dirty, depraved symphony—orchestrated by the monster between your thighs.

You can’t help the moan that escapes your lips when he finally, finally brings his fingers back down between your legs. He grunts in approval, barely grazing the length of your folds, pressing his thumb into the delicate flesh of your thigh, instead. “Dirty lil’ girl—fuckin’ dyin’ to be an old man’s whore, z’that it?” and he doesn’t even touch you, focussed on his own pleasure, but the proximity alone is enough to have you wrecked.

And you just can’t help it: “J-joel—”

“Y’know,” he chuckles, slightly out of breath, slowing his strokes to address your wanton whine, “You’re gonna make such a good lil’ fuck-toy, baby, f’you keep makin’ those pretty lil’ noises for me.”

The reality of the situation comes barrelling down on you as he acknowledges—praises—your enjoyment of his torture.

This man… this man was cruel. He was hurting you, and enjoying it.

You struggle against him, a pathetic show of weakness. Joel holds you in place effortlessly, arching your back further, keeping your hips preened back to receive the harsh thrusts he delivers to your torn, ruined cunt. “Where you goin’?” He laughs at your pathetic attempt at resistance, grips tightening. “Thought we were havin’ fun, baby—don’t it feel good?”

And he quickens again, slamming into every needy spot inside you. His breaths grow shallow, as rough as his hands and the ferocity of this punishment.

“No,” you manage, fingernails digging into his forearm.

He tuts, the vocal click constricted with lust, and his hand travels the length of you, settling against that aching bud between your thighs. “Fuckin’ liar.”

He presses down, proving his point. Your entire body tenses as pleasure ripples through you—despite your best efforts, climax crests through your core, threatening to implode within you. Joel hums, smirking when he feels your legs parting even wider.

“S’mine now, alright? You’re mine now.” He crams every inch of his cock up inside you, pulling you flush against his chest. “S’okay to come for me—s’okay, baby, I want you to—s’fuckin’ right, let go for me, baby—” and his crooning takes you over the edge.

Christ, it feels so good.

You clench around him, high-pitched pleas and moans tumbling from your lips, his own pair dragging down the swoop of your ear. In that split second, Joel—the devil at your back—is your favourite thing in the world: your hero, your haven, your God. Fuck, you could just kiss him, marry him, fuck him over and over and over and over—

A hand clamps over your mouth during those brief, blissful moments; the man practically bounces you up and down the length of him, muffling the cries of pain and pleasure tearing from your sore throat against the rough skin of his palm. He groans inside your ear—a stammered, sinful “fuuuck”—and then he’s spilling his seed inside you, shoving it impossibly deep as those quick, harsh strokes stutter and slow.

You come to, waking up from your pleasure-drunk daze. Before you get the opportunity to wriggle away from him, the monster flips you over again, slamming your shoulders to the wall. With his forearm barring your chest, and despite your fear and ire—somehow, all you can think about is the fact that he’s not as out of breath as he really should be (given his age and, of course, what he’d just done to you).

Joel leaks out of you. His cum paints masterpieces down your legs.

He slides his free hand down the length of his cock, collecting the last bits of slick clinging to him and not dripping out of you. The intermingling juices are brought to the roundness of your breasts—the raider slathers your sore peaks with his own spend.

“Nobody’s gonna fuck with you—but that means you’re Joel’s girl. Hear me?” With your head bowed, you glare up at him through silver-lined spider lashes, shame beating at your cheeks. When you hum your acknowledging “uh-huh,” the stranger continues on, gripping your jaw to angle your gaze up: “Means you listen—you-you don’t fuckin’ try me—n’ you take everything I give you, every fuckin’ time. Understand?” He tucks his softening length back in his pants, dark eyes dancing with satisfaction as he leers at your destroyed form.

When you don’t respond, he brings the back of his punishing hand colliding with the side of your face.

Something between a squeal and a gasp tumbles from your lips; Joel catches it, placing the pad of his thumb to your bottom lip, pressing down. Your cheek stings from his harsh slap, delivered on top of the scrapes and wounds a different cruel man had left upon your skin.

“I don’t wanna hurt you, baby, but I will f’I have to,” and he’s earnest, commanding and pleading at once. “You gotta answer me.”

Slowly, you croak out a timid, “Yes,” and an “I understand,” followed by a final “Joel.”

Nodding, he straightens, the violence in his gaze fading just minutely. When he lets go, you stagger—the raider senses the instability of your knees, reflexively snaking a steadying arm around your waist.

You’re not sure where the impulse comes from. Perhaps it’s exhaustion, the aftermath of your orgasm, or maybe it’s just a sick, twisted desire to sink into something beyond your body—either way, you respond to Joel’s support by throwing your arms around his neck.

And he responds by lifting you, walking you over to the bed, and tossing you down on the sheets. Awakening into reality, you scamper back, grabbing and yanking at the surrounding bedding in a desperate attempt to cover yourself.

But Joel pays you no mind.

Having had his way, he’s through with you—for now. Nonchalantly, apathetically, he runs a hand through his hair, tracing heavy steps towards the door.

“Lock the door when I leave,” he instructs, but his tone is soft… possessive and commanding, yes, but… caring. “Don’t open it for anyone but me.”

He waits for your show of understanding, your near imperceptible nod.

Then, he sighs, yanking on the handle and giving you his final address over a pair of creaky, squeaky, rusted hinges. “Try to sleep, sweetheart—got a long night ahead of you.” Chuckling to himself, he leaves the sanctuary of the room.

All you can hear as your body grows heavy and warm, travelling somewhere far, far beyond this violent world are the echoes of male laughter down the hall, and a familiar, satisfied, gravelly voice:

“Not worth much, now. Might just fuckin’ keep her.”

And you slip away, dreaming of belt buckles, blood-stained collars, and the lung-squeezing heat of the setting Texan sun.

—

He used to call me DN

That stood for deadly nightshade

'Cause I was filled with poison

But blessed with beauty and rage

Jim told me that

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

Jim brought me back

Reminding me of when we were kids

With his ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

I can hear sirens, sirens

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

I can hear violins, violins

Give me all of that ultraviolence

He used to call me poison

Like I was poison ivy

I could've died right then

'Cause he was right beside me

Jim raised me up

He hurt me but it felt like true love

Jim taught me that

Loving him was never enough

With his ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

I can hear sirens, sirens

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

I can hear violins, violins

Give me all of that ultraviolence

We can go back to New York

Loving you was really hard

We could go back to Woodstock

Where they don't know who we are

Heaven is on earth

I would do anything for you, babe

Blessed is this union

Crying tears of gold, like lemonade

I love you the first time

I love you the last time

Yo soy la princesa, comprende mis white lines

'Cause I'm your jazz singer

And you're my cult leader

I love you forever

I love you forever

With his ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

I can hear sirens, sirens

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

I can hear violins, violins

Give me all of that ultraviolence

—

TAGLIST: @millllenniawrites @inkedells @stardust-chords-enthusiast @mattmurdocksgirlfriend @bookofbee @liviloo12346 @anyas-stuff @readingsunshine97 @maudlinflowers @sullysflm @sexygaypalpatine @livyjh @s-unflowxr @lostsoldieronahill @chapterhappygirl @raeluvshammett @silkiers @jupitersmoon-cal @supernaturaldean67 @razrsharpwhiteteeth @peqchsoup @corrodedcherries @hawsx3 @monboudoir @theonewithacrush @pono-pura-vida @sallymilkweed @fruitcupsworld @mads-grace4 @ayehomo @dzaga890 @killerrxger @niallsbunny @cilliansangel @snowyarcher @grnherbs @mswarriorbabe80 @tercabed @sweettea-and-honeybutter @bbyanarchist @thisgirl-knm @pedrit0-pascalit0

TAGS WILL CONTINUE IN A REBLOG (there are simply too many of you & I don’t want this post to crash <3)

[needfantasticstories]

Hi again, @twistedstoryteller!

Okay, LU recs off the top-ish of my head in a sort of organized-ish order:

AUTHORS!

Angst, Action, and Mixed:

Faerule and the No Good Very Bad Road Trip by ImperialKatwala, PolynomialPandemic is a great "Chain Meets Hyrule" fic.

@gintrinsic-writing is phenomenal. A gem. I love all of it, but check the tags to find ones you're comfortable with. AO3 Blood Like Yours is my personal favorite, and the sequel Like Fire in Your Veins by @pocketramblr are both about Hyrule's Blood Curse from Adventures of Link. M for Violence for most of them, but check tags to be sure. If you like it, consider also...

Protector of the Golden Power by Sillus Hyrule centric but he has a different secret.

@somer-writes has a lot of great short one shots, some darker than others. My personal favorite is a sort of character study of the boys at their lowest and how they recover called "Depletion"

For a Sliver of Sunlight by tirsynni: Warrior's dedication to his brothers makes him question his title as Hero.

What are You to a God Slayer by Secretlysheikah BAMF Sky

Brethren in a Cradle by Skyward_Arpeggio BABY!!!! It is adorable, if a bit sad at the start.

Always Darkest Before the Dawn (Linked Universe Whumptober 2023) by Skyward_Arpeggio because in general they don't go above T ratings and write excellent fics.

this year it taught me (lost and ambitious) by qar Also EXCELLENT writer. "Sky has a separate moment with each member of the team"

Whumptober 2023 by Arecaceae Great fics! Plus, "Each story will have warnings in the tags and the story notes as well as a 0-5 whump rating. The ratings will be relative to my writing, so my 5 might not be equivalent to someone else's 5. I don't write MCD, extreme gore, non-con, or extreme emotional angst."

Major's Whumptober 2023 by major_de_speed Major's are also quite clean despite the M rating which is more about the violence.

Linkeduniverse Shorts by Skyward_Arpeggio LU Short fics

A Royal Castletown Wedding by Skyward_Arpeggio This story is so good!!!!!!!!!

Whumptober 2022 by Arecaceae more great fics, rated T.

LU Whump Dump by UnexpectedStormy (ArtemiStorm)  need AO3 account to read, but worth it! Linked Universe Whumpy One-Shots, rated T.

There's one I'm missing, and when I find it I'll add it here. It involves a cursed magical artifact that Legend messes with... it's intense.

Fluffier Fics:

Frosty Reception by Skyward_Arpeggio "Four’s glad to finally be home again, and he’s not the only one happy at his return." Cute fic!

S’more Stories by Ginger375 "A collection of drabbles and mini-fics for LUtober! Day 31: Costumes"

Sentiment by Arecaceae

nine heroes, one spirit by Imjustherefortheangst, uncleskyrule (unclemoriarty) tons of great short fics, all with G-T ratings

Finding Family by Tashacee "AU where Wild's scars are a lot worse and he isn't used to interacting with people. The Chain think their new brother is dope af and are determined to make him feel at home."

My Heart's Forsaken Me by sister_dear "Four looses his sword in the heat of battle, and it's picked up by someone else... Time’s aren’t the only secrets coming to light, and the gang discovers they still have a thing or two to learn from each other."

Ambush at the Bridge by JinxedRuby Very action and healing oriented fic, multiple perspectives on one event.

Dark Clouds on the Horizon by CubanCracker62 "he Chain ends up in Wild's era shortly before the events of TotK."

There are worse ways to stay alive by EliotRosewater one shots rated T.

Crack Fics:

Misplaced Heroes by notOK this had me busting out laughing SO MANY TIMES!

Peak Gremlin Energy by defenestration_nation "Fics focusing on various Links being chaotic gremlins"

Not Necessarily LU, but Adjacent or just LoZ:

Blood of the Hero by Skye_the_Lofty_Nutcase: (Wild) Link's parents have to step in to save him when the Shrine of Resurrection gets damaged. His parents are so well written, and Abel makes appearances in LU-related/adjacent fics, The Many Misadventures of Dad Squad and Dad Squad AU by Nancyheart, Silver_Captain82403, Skye_the_Lofty_Nutcase

which is part crack and part angst, mostly lighthearted.

Don't Worry Man, I'm from the Yiga Clan: Link makes a Yiga friend due to being a delightful chaos gremlin.

Feature MCD... but might be worth it:

And Still the Cradle Blooms by Solistrix: GORGEOUS literary masterpiece. The writing is unreal. It's descriptions and emotions are incredible. This is more like finding the meaning in eventual death, so of the three here I suspect you'll like this one best as far as not being too hurt by the character's mentioned end.

This is an Adjuration: I'll be real, this is full of action and excitement but yes, it has MCD and is making me cry, but it's also REEEEAAALLY good!

Blood Drops on Roses by HotCheetohatred Fantastic storytelling! Wild centric, Twi is big brother but from day one of Wild's journey. Unreliable young Wild as narrator is an absolute delight. Unfinished, no MCD yet, but it's in the tags so no promises.

Modern AUs for not-big-on-modern-au fans:

As a fellow not-seeker of modern AUs, I personally have enjoyed the following

@skyward-floored Incredibles AU

Wild’s Wolf by HotCheetoHatred "Modern AU where young Wild is a feral forest child, raised by Wolf Twilight. He is captured, separated from Twilight, and put under observation. Time helps him escape." Unfinished, and I admit personal bias here because HotCheetoHatred is my BETA reader.

ARTISTS!!!

@ovegakart: amazing action, gut-busting humor, and captivating storytelling! Does comics

@la-sera: beautiful, ethereal, and gorgeous illustrations and a great storyteller, loves downfall duo but does every one of the boys justice

@dfanart: HILARIOUS and such heartfelt emotions on them boys.

@kikker-oma great art from fluff to whump to action

@1caru has so many fluffy LU gems!

@linderosse has a Zelda's meet AU, does LU, and much more!

@lele5429 great illustrations and abstract pieces of LU fanart.

@theecholegend hahaha... arson.

@ikaishere has so many cute LU ones.

@thepinklink fabulous LU character sketches

@hiimgin BIAS! I got to work with them and they are FABULOUS!

@pluviatrix has art for their fic And Still the Cradle Blooms

@cherrypaii has fantastic illustrations of these boys!

AND MANY, MANY MORE!

(Commenters, please add artists I forgot. I know there are a ton Im missing!!)

Hope this helps you feel welcome!

[mthofferings]

Writer_Lethogica

See Writer_Lethogica’s existing works here and here.

Preferred contact methods: Tumblr: thatmexisaurusrex

Preferred organizations: - Anything from the list of approved organizations

Will create works that contain: Fluff, Crack Treated Seriously, Wing Fic, Canon Compliant, No Powers AU, Fantasy AU, Getting Together, Established Romance, 5+1, Dorks in Love

Will not create works that contain: Rape, Incest, Non-Con, No Happy Ending, Torture, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

  -- Fic or Other Writing --

Auction ID: 1074

Will create works for the following relationships: Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson - MCU Joaquín Torres/Sam Wilson - MCU Bucky Barnes/Joaquín Torres/Sam Wilson - MCU Riley/Sam Wilson - MCU Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson - MCU Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson - MCU Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson - MCU Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson - MCU

Work Description: The bid will start at 500 words at $5. Each additional $5 will add 500 words ie: $5 - 500 words $10 - 1K words $15 - 1.5K words The increase in words along with the $5 increases will continue until it hits 10k words, which will be the cap. You can check my Tumblr and my AO3 account to see what kind of fics I write. A lot of what I do is thoughtful dives into canon compliance like BuckyQuest or Back in the Gulf, fantastical AUs like If We Are Celestial Bodies or His Wingless Stranger, or romcom AUs like A No Snow Christmas or My Best Friend's Brother. I am open to writing other Sam Wilson-centric fics and certain other ships that aren't listed, but message me on Tumblr if that's something you'd want rather than the ships listed above to check if I'm okay with writing the ship you want.

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

-- Fic or Other Writing --

Auction ID: 2040

Will create works for the following relationships: Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson - MCU Joaquín Torres/Sam Wilson - MCU Bucky Barnes/Joaquín Torres/Sam Wilson - MCU Riley/Sam Wilson - MCU Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson - MCU Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson - MCU Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson - MCU Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson - MCU

Work Description: The bid will start at 500 words at $5. Each additional $5 will add 500 words ie: $5 - 500 words $10 - 1K words $15 - 1.5K words The increase in words along with the $5 increases will continue until it hits 10k words, which will be the cap. You can check my Tumblr and my AO3 account to see what kind of fics I write. A lot of what I do is thoughtful dives into canon compliance like BuckyQuest or Back in the Gulf, fantastical AUs like If We Are Celestial Bodies or His Wingless Stranger, or romcom AUs like A No Snow Christmas or My Best Friend's Brother. I am open to writing other Sam Wilson-centric fics and certain other ships that aren't listed, but message me on Tumblr if that's something you'd want rather than the ships listed above to check if I'm okay with writing the ship you want.

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

The auction runs from October 22 (12 AM ET) to October 28 (11:59:59 PM ET). Visit marveltrumpshate.com during Auction Week to view all of our auctions and to place your bids!

[shslskaterboy]

Hey bestie tell me more about that phantom theives band au👀

(^is enabling again)

Oh my god Al. My best friend Al. I have so many thoughts this is gonna be such an essay I hope you’re Fuckin ready

No seriously this got so long it's basically the bones of a fic, but uh, I'm kind obsessed with it so here we are

First of all, it’s an aged up non-metaverse au, so everyone is like 23~ give or take. Akira, Ann, Yusuke, Haru, Makoto and human Morgana all met in university, Ryuji is childhood friends with Ann, and Futaba met the rest of them through her adoptive brother Akira, and Akechi is the ex-boyfriend that no one ever talks about.

The band consists of singer/front man Akira who does the song writing. He was one of those child prodigy musicians who primarily played piano and violin, but taught himself guitar despite his parents aversion to his favourite genre (which is emo-punk bc it’s not a true James hc without some MCR influence.) The first beginnings of the band were him and Futaba as teenagers since she also played the keyboard, but the Phantoms would not be a realized dream until he met the rest of them in uni.

He meets Morgana and Ann first, the former who can play guitar, and the latter who knows absolutely everyone. When Akira floats the idea of wanting to form a band, Ann is more than happy to rally up her friends Makoto, Haru, and Mishima to fill the spots of bass, second guitar, and drums. Things actually come together very well at first, they start simple with practices and small shows at Crossroads (Akira works nights there and Lala-chan is very supportive of his endeavours) and eventually they start to be able to handle more complex songs. Haru becomes truly incredible at absolutely shredding, Makoto is the pinnacle of sexy bass-player coolness, and Akira is more confident than ever in his songwriting. They even end up commissioning their friend Yusuke to make posters and design a logo for them (he would've done it for free since he was hanging out anyways, but they insisted on compensating him properly)

Unfortunately there is one person who is not very confident, and Mishima ends up quitting the band because he’s worried he’ll weigh them down, leaving them with a rather open gaping hole to fill. The Phantoms have become fairly well established at this point and are pretty popular among the other university students, leaving Akira very worried about finding an adequate replacement- and none of the people they audition seem to be able to keep up.

Luckily, Ann knows a guy.

Akira is hesitant because this guy apparently has no experience playing in a band and is totally self taught, but Ann swears up and down that he’s really good and “please Kira just give him a chance, what’s the worst that can happen?” And so he eventually caves and agrees to have the guy try out, assuming that it will end up in failure just like all the others.

Enter Ryuji Sakamoto to the chat. He’s loud, he’s energetic, he’s covered in tattoos and piercings, he’s arguably obnoxious, and Akira doesn’t want to be impressed but he absolutely is. Ryuji surpasses all his expectations and it drives him fucking crazy because he shouldn’t be this good and yet. And Yet.

So he begrudgingly agrees to have Ryuji join them for their next practice, and decides to throw all of their most complicated songs at him. Make or break. Sink or swim. Either way he’s determined to push Ryuji hard until he cracks and crumbles under the pressure, ultimately proving Akira correct.

What he does not account for is Ryuji’s incredible stubbornness and determination, pushing him to outlast and out-perform each and every time without fail, even in the face of the rather tense relationship building between them.

Or at least Ryuji thinks it's tense, but Akira is starting to crumble himself, and although he is loathe to admit it, their new drummer is growing on him.

Of course in this au Akira is autistic (bc again it wouldn't be a James hc otherwise) and communication is not his strong suit, so he expresses himself in the only way he knows how, which is music. He writes the songs himself and is usually the one choosing which ones they're going to play, and the ones he picks become gradually more emotional and personal to him in hopes that Ryuji is paying attention.

The culmination of this being when Ryuji overhears Makoto questioning his song choices, saying "but don't you think the new guy..." and assumes (understandably so) that they're still questioning his abilities to keep up. He confronts Akira about it, only to be told "you know I write these all myself right? So listen and maybe you'll learn something."

Ryuji ends up feeling awfully foolish when the song ends up being about deeply personal struggles, but Akira doesn't hold it against him- instead inviting him out for ramen after practice so they can have a real conversation that doesn't involve them bitching at each other. He apologizes for being so standoffish, and explains the autism that went undiagnosed for so long, and the fact that his parents kicked him out when he was 16 because they found out he was gay- which is what lead to Sojiro adopting him.

In turn, Ryuji tells him about his father and the Kamoshida incident (resolved in a non-metaverse way obv) and a new understanding is formed between them, which eventually paves the way to a budding friendship. They bond over shared taste in music, video games, anime, the works, and the band becomes stronger than ever.

And it isn't long before group hangouts become one-on-one hangouts. They'll get takeout and go back to Ryuji's apartment to play games- Ryuji always drives and always makes a point of opening the door for Akira- and each time they'll stay together a little later, and linger a little longer in the car before saying goodbye.

The rest of the gang is understandably intrigued by this turn of events, especially since Akira hasn't seriously shown interest in anyone since his big breakup, but Ann The Matchmaker is confident that she can give them both the push they need to take the leap. Ryuji is skeptical about her insistence that he absolutely 100% does have a shot with Akira, meanwhile Akira has come to terms with his feelings for Ryuji but does not know how to express them, so he does what any reasonable person would do: get everyone to go drinking and dancing so he can have a very convenient excuse to get very close. He even remembers to put the snake bites in for this one

(spoiler alert, his plan absolutely works and he does not wake up in his own bed the next day)

And then things are good because of course they are. They're the sun and moon, adhd/autism, they balance each other out, they respect each other, they bring out the best in one another, and for the first time in over a year Akira feels totally at ease.

But of course we have to have an obligatory "oops we ran into your ex-boyfriend in public and now he knows you have a new boyfriend and is being weird about it" scene, where Akechi susses out their relationship and proceeds to be a massive bitch about it. Of course all of it is ire directed at Ryuji and his general appearance/demeanor, which doesn't really bother him because fuck it, he managed to get through high school and is okay now, why would he care what some pompous twink has to say about him? Akira on the other hand is not having it, and Ryuji has to interject before they can have a full-on argument in public.

This run-in prompts Akira to actually talk about his relationship with Akechi- something that he had never done before- and in doing so can finally come to terms with how much it really affected him, and gain some semblance of closure. (Perhaps I will talk about the Akechi relationship in a different post so that this one doesn't end up being 800 miles long)

In the end, this is all a very long and elaborate pegoryu story that I haven't really thought of a proper end for, and was entirely inspired by me listening to music whilst walking my dog and going "ough but imagine emo Akira" which became "imagine emo Akira singing." That coupled with the fact that Ryuji is the most drummer ever, and I found myself with a recipe for a delightful daydream that became so wild the more scenes I imagined and wrote in my head.

Maybe one day I'll try and turn this into something, or at least just a collection of scenes ranging from fluff to angst to, uh, other, if I'm feeling really crazy about it, but yeah, long story short I am absolutely buckwild insane about them and I think about this a lot

[watery-melon-baller]

Hi! I'm wondering why you chose to share a blog, as two people. Which of you uses it more often? Do you tend to post different things?

this is a great question with a long answer! also tumblr deleted my first answer to this because it's a shit. also this is all lilac speaking

so way back years ago aru wrote a silly little crack fic. i was immensly entertained by this and was like you should post it online. so i made an ao3 acc called watery_meln_baller bc "our fics are so bad they make you want to water melon ball your eyes out". we used to have a whole taglline about using the kudos as a dislike button it was great. over time aru wroye a few more crack fics and i would post them for aru.

then i decided to take a crack (ha) at writing crack fic and was nervous about it, and since th waterymelonballer acc was for crack fics i just uploaded it on there instead of making my own. i had never written fic before and then it blew up and i was like oh damn. im famous. and then i started getting FANART for the fic and people were like do you have a tumblr so i can tag you?? and i was like okay. time to make a tumblr! i did not excpect to actually use it for anything besides being a place where i could post updates and behind the scenes stuff for fanfics

after identity fraud i went back to barely using the account. around the same time aru got into like, danny phantom n shit and then they started using the account a bunch. and began posting podfics, and non-crack fics. so aru used the tumblr for a while, and then they abandoded around the same time i started getting into toh and writing WAB. then i took over the account, started posting shit, and now i've been using it conistsently ever since! oops, sorry aru. ive got a whole circle of mutuals its a great time we are all buddies. aru will pop on here and post occasionally its great. tthere was a bit of time where we weren't talking as much bc of life but now we're back to regular texting and being buddies. but tbh if i had to share a tumblr account with anyone, aru would be the best :]

i do have a seperate art accoutn i made a while back. i want to use it more but. ah. im lazy and forget to use it regualry so i just post fanart on it once in a blue moon. its here if u wanna check it out

[moetxt]

zhongven and zhongscara for the ship bingo (guess who this is 😏

i see you 👁️

ah, zhongscara...

for me, it started with mine and a friend's determination to have our faves kiss zhongli, but i only got further enabled when someone else pointed out parallels i didn't even see initially. i'm proud to be one of the 13 people who ships it 😁

though, to be honest, i really prefer them in a non-romantic context. in my eyes, they're friends with a compatible worldview and REALLY REALLY compatible kinks. scara would never admit this to his face but he sees zhongli as one of the precious few people in the world competent enough to dom him. meanwhile, on zhongli's side, he enjoys very much how scara lets him do what he does best, to the fullest; most people wouldn't be able to handle it, after all.

i think romance is the one major thing they disagree on. scara with his trust issues cannot COMPREHEND how zhongli is still willing to put his whole heart into loving someone even after getting hurt multiple times in the past.

now... you knew this was coming.

zhongven my BELOVED!!! they've been happily married for 2,000 years. they have an angsty on-again/off-again open relationship thing but neither of them thinks it's enough and also they get jealous. they've been mutually pining for millennia to the point that there is plentiful evidence of how down bad they are for each other in both their countries' mythology/folklore/traditions/ancient artifacts/archaeological sites but they've never once actually admitted they're in love with one another. as gods, they can't love as humans do and as divine manifestations of their elements and ideals, they're natural opposites locked in an eternal stalemate of courtship; can't tie down the wind, can't whisk away the earth. they've divorced at least 300 times. they're bitter exes and ei is the only one left alive who can tell you all about it (she will not).

unlike other ships i've been obsessed with in the past, it's hard for me to remove zhongven from their canon context, or at the very least a context where they are still divine/immortals. the divine opposites thing is just so key to me—they way they shouldn't get along, they shouldn't understand each other, but nonetheless they do. also, exploring edge cases of locality-specific or occupation-specific dual worship that occurs when morax's and barbatos' domains meet. like, how ancient northern liyuens knew to scatter dandelion seeds along with their prayers to make earthquakes during the spring and summer go away because it was probably the geo lord sulking and missing his beloved. or how sailors whisper a prayer or two to the god of wind for safe travels as where rex lapis' domain does not extend, they instead hope for the protection of his "bride" :)

actually, i am writing a whole fic about this! it's an epistolary-styled story filled with outsider accounts of how morax and barbatos just keep popping up, directly or indirectly, in each other's mythology. it's also about zhongli intentionally messing with the historical record in attempt to bring more of this to light because he's sulky about venti not visiting him for 500 years lol.

but yeah, the gods aspect is quite important to me and my view of them is so specific that i tend to be picky when it comes to fics, especially if they are AUs.

finally, as you know, i have more than a couple of crack theories/shipper delusion when it comes to zhongven and wider genshin lore. (descender zhongli and shade of istaroth venti my beloved!!!) namely, that venti warned zhongli about the cataclysm beforehand due to his god of time/celestia connections, but didn't warn the others, and that's why there was a near pantheon wipeout and the tsaritsa hates him now while zhongli carries so much guilt. also, that zhongli retired godhood at least partly due to venti, leaving his country to the humans (just like venti had done all along), and because he regretted how he always prioritized work and didn't treasure what he had until venti disappeared for his 500y coma.

"the end of godhood" is a really fascinating concept to me, as is what their relationship could turn out like in the future. they aren't gods anymore, but they're not exactly humans either, and no one else can really understand them like they understand each other. a lot of the obstacles in the way of them being together are now gone, but they now also carry new scars. i have a fic vaguely drafted centering around this too.

hehe, thanks for giving me the excuse to talk at length about them! 💞

[use-your-telescope]

Let's spread some positivity! Tag some of your fellow content creators here and let them know why they are absolutely amazing!❤️

OOOOOOOPS I think I have had this sitting in my asks for a while and completely space cadet-ed on it...

@infinitystoner my first tumblr friend!! You are so freaking talented at every genre and trope you tackle in fics - I am so grateful you thought to message me via the hellsite those many months ago!! Your smut? Immaculate. Your angst? Hurts so good. Your character chemistry? Simply divine! The way you create atmosphere and use language to create such nuance is truly a masterclass.

@loki-cees-all CEEEEEEE you are my beloved angsty queen. The way you are able to get inside Loki's mind and really dive into the little details that bring the hurt is so fucking delightful. I know I owe you at least a few raving reblogs of your most recent fic, so stay tuned!

@the-lady-amphitrite my fellow lore and world building lover!! Any time I get to see behind the curtain in your work is such a blast, and you also crack me up on the regs. Plus video game nerding is alway a delight!

@sarahscribbles Smut goddess! Whether looking for soft or kink, Saz has got you covered. Saz also does such a beautiful job of highlighting relationships in her smut and really giving them depth. She also has some absolutely delightful fluff to investigate, if you're looking for pure warm and fuzzies.

@cleo-fox I am still working my way through your catalog (god damn I am so behind), but YO everything I've read is a straight BANGER (literally and metaphorically). You balance environment, chemistry, and pacing so perfectly in every story I've read, and you've turned some of the more mundane moments into straight up steam sessions.

@maple-seed THROWN. HOLY THROWN. If you, random hellsite user, are reading this and have not read Thrown, *DROP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GO READ THROWN!!* It is the *perfect* comfort fic - friends to lovers, slow burn, so soft I want to scream. I'm not on the tag list because I get the A03 emails, and let me just say the *moment* I see that notification in my inbox I drop what I'm doing and go read the update (even if I'm in the middle of a meeting, haha!). I'm behind like, four chapters on reblogs because I have so many thoughts (most of which are OH MY GOD MY HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE FROM THE SOFT!!). Also, Maple's portrayals of Thor and Valkyrie are delightful!!

@tripleyeeett You are SO FREAKING AMAZING AT WRITING ASTARION and so funny and down to earth and I love your no-bullshit attitude and nerding about BG3 and all sorts of stuff.

Also, I know that they haven't been posting stories for a while, but I do also want to shout out @asteralpine (kaeorin on AO3) - their Loki's Lullabies series was my first introduction to Loki fics (back in 2021); part of why I made a new tumblr account was to be able to share their stories, but more importantly I don't think I would have even started WEMTBB if I hadn't discovered the Lullabies! I have slowly been working on a mega post of all my favorite stories from the series and why I love them so much, but I'm starting to think it's going to be a multi-part post because with over 250 entries in the series, there are too many to fit in one post. These days, the lullabies can only be found on AO3 and you need to be logged in to read them, but I highly, highly recommend them. Oh, and also, there are other non-lullaby stories, and they also are all A+.

[see-arcane]

Writer asks

Thank you, @bluecatwriter, one of my favorite subjects to write about is me writing about things

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

39 so far

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

289,213. No wonder I have carpal tunnel

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Magnus Archives, Dracula (the novel), and one story apiece for Frankenstein (the novel) and Last Night in Soho

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Family, Found

Chamomile

Deserving

Along Came a Spider

Another Guest for Mr. Spider

(Fair warning to new folks who followed me for Dracula antics, these are all TMA stories.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do my best to respond, but sometimes messages will fall through the cracks in the email pileup :c

6. What's the fic you wrote that has the angstiest ending?

...

......

.........

That implies the list is small enough to trim down to a single Angstiest title. I don't think that flies with my stuff. So, a handful:

Zephyrus

Along Came a Spider

Found and Lost

Gnaw

(Again, also TMA. It's a podcast made for woe.)

7. What's the fic you wrote that has the happiest ending?

Also surprisingly rife with those!*

*(All you naysayers hush. Just because I drag the characters screaming over broken glass to start with does NOT negate a happy ending.)

I can definitively whittle the options down to two big ones:

Death May Die is best for sheer Happily Ever After catharsis factor. It's a big old classic supernatural lit crossover and basically an AU take on The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk webcomic currently being made.

Extinction, Emerging is best for the undiluted ecstasy of the shock ending. Note, this is another The Magnus Archives fic. And it's probably the most hopeful and joyous thing I have ever or will ever write.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nothing I've received personally in comments/inbox

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I can do smutty scenes and paint in erotic strokes here and there, but even then I don't think what I publish is enough to qualify strictly as smut. More horror/drama with sexual bits peppered around.

When it does sneak in, it's usually there as a flavoring to the larger story or atmosphere. In Kiss Him No More, sex is used both as a predatory act that Dracula plans to inflict out of petty vengeance and possessiveness, and a contrasting act of love and mutual care between Jonathan and Mina. When I write eroticism, I treat it like fire--only as tender or terrifying as its use.

That said, I have written notes and vignettes about some significantly raunchy goings-on, both happy and horrifying, that have never seen the light of day. Time will tell if that changes. ;)

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yep! The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk was the foundation for three of my biggest and favorite fics in the The Adventures of Jonathan Harker and the Strange Old Men series, and that comic-in-progress is itself a growing medley of Victorian era classic literature characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. (But I do keep my account locked so that only Ao3 members can read--AI scrubbers can fuck off.)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No clue

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

[INSERT DISTRAUGHT ENGLISHMAN NAMED JONATHAN HERE] x The Horrors

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

Not a fic, exactly, but there's a Frankenstein tale that I've been pulling apart like Penelope putting her tapestry through the shredder. So many false starts and do-overs! But I'm taking a break from it to come back fresh later

16. What are your writing strengths?

I am so good at making words. So many, many words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Too many words. Brevity and I are only rarely in the same room together and even then it's because I locked the door and ate the key.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I will only hesitantly add snippets of non-English language to dialogue because I'm positive I'll screw up another tongue even with translations

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Magnus Archives 👁

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Extinction, Emerging, The Adventures of Jonathan Harker and the Strange Old Men series, Along Came a Spider, (all linked above) and Molt.

Tagging

ANY AND ALL WRITERS WHO ARE READING THIS.

ALL OF YOU.

👁

[malewifemanhunter]

Challenge is NOW OPEN!!! 9th August to 9th September 2022

Heyyy everyone! The Always Sunny Drabble Blast Contest is now open for submissions :D

Anyone can enter, whether you’re a confident writer or you’ve never written anything before, if you’re new to sunnyblr or you’ve been here since Charlie Kelly crawled out of the floorboards. You can also submit anonymously! (just talk to one of the organizers for that~)

“BUT WHAT IS A DRABBLE” you ask?

A drabble is a VERY short fic of just 100 words (not including title, tags or authors notes). And it can be about anything you like! As long as it’s Sunny related and hits that target (give or take) then you’ve nailed it. You can even write a series of drabbles and arrange them as chapters if you want to explore your idea more, as long as they work on their own too. If you need some examples, you can find them in the collection.

“HOW WILL YOU CROWN YOUR CHAMPIONS?”

Good question! We’ll be opening a poll on September 1st for people to vote on their favourite stories, with a contest winner and runners-up, and we’re ALSO going to hand pick the winners of some very special categories. (And yes, that’s because otherwise, our beloved macdennies will swamp the votes :p)

BEST IN SHIP: The big six, babeyyy. Macdennis, Deetress, Charden, Charmac, Chardee, Charmacden. You know the drill.

BEST RAREPAIRS: Any relationship not in the above list :)

BEST TEAM-UPS and FRIENDSHIPS: Non-ship based fics

GENRE: Best fluff, humor, angst, AU, horror, smut

HAND PICKED PERFECTION: Best Scheme, Most Sunny-ish Vibes, Best Twist, Drabble We're Most Desperate For More Of, Best Drunk/High Fic, Most In Character, Best Title, BEST SINGLE LINE, Dialogue Only, Fewest Filler Words, Best Fic In A Language Other Than English, Best Freeform/Visual Design, Best Meta, Best Crack Meta…

And finally...

WASTE NOT WANT NOT: The real deal. The most prestigious title. That’s right, we’re talking about Most Obedient. This is the award for whoever writes the most submissions with exactly one. hundred. words. No more, no less. 

SOME BASICS:

Content: write whatever you like! Try to tag things appropriately, but we can help you figure that out if you want (dm or send an ask to us @malewifemanhunter @headgehug @officialbillhader or @lets-dont-this)

Where to post: Feel free to post your work on tumblr/anywhere else you like - it’s your work! just make sure you also submit it to the collection on Archive Of Our Own 3 so we can keep track of them all. And don't forget to tag sunny d blast!

Submitting anonymously: There are two ways you can do this. 1. Upload your fic to your Ao3 account, make it anonymous, then submit it to the collection, or 2. Send it to one of us (@malewifemanhunter @headgehug @lets-dont-this @officialbillhader) on anon and we will post it for you (although it may mess up your formatting a little to do it this way). 

But what if I dont know what to write?!: Do not worry - as well as having beta readers available we’ve also got this list of prompts! No need to stick with these (seriously, write what you wanna), but If you wanna write and the creative juices just aren’t flowing, you can take your pick from this list and just go to town

PROMPTS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED:

moments when Dennis kissed Mac on the forehead, Mac and charlie have a bike race, Dennis and Charlie sing together while high, Charlie takes care of a sick Dee, the gang tries to catch a turkey for Thanksgiving, Mac and Dee want the same man, Charlie and Mac almost set fire to Mac and Dennis’s apartment while cooking, the twins (children) hate each other but they still spend their birthday together because being together with someone you hate is better than being alone, Frank swindles a street vendor and gets food for everyone in the gang, water fight turned erotic. You can take these as they are, or play around with them a bit, whatever floats your boat~

ADVICE:

Don't forget you have a title! With only 100 words it can really help to set the scene or the tone of your fic. And make sure you tag the fic. If you don't know how, or have any other questions, just ask one of the organizers!

GOOD LUCK!

[hongjoongscafe]

Hi! Let me ask you something:

What are your favorite accounts on tumblr? Tag them and tell us why [maybe even say something nice to them :)]!! They could be your fav writers, moots or just friends that helped you a lot with your blog.

I'm asking you this because even a small "stupid" gesture can make someone's day way better! Spread positivity, bye bye :)

Ohhh, there are so many.

@tenelkadjowrites this person... I don't even have any royal words. She is the best 😭💓 I can't imagine how many times I have ranted about stupid stuff but she still heard me. And her fics are self-explanatory. All-time favorite💓.

@veneziamadness What can I say about this person? I consider her my sister. They helped me a lot when my blog was not working. They don't post but whatever they write, it's so powerful and I hope someday they post it💓💓

@cheline I think you all know her by now. She is the one with whom I share like 1000 animal videos and pictures on Instagram. She has always hyped me. And she is a wonderful writer. Do read her story on Wattpad. The sweetest of all time💓💓

@glitterhongjoong we don't talk much but she is one of the best out there. Her fics are wonderfully written. Her dogs are so cute😭💓💓.

@fishmin the person who is still waiting for her hamster to turn into Joongie😂. One of the biggest fans of "Stay With Me". She has always supported me in every way. 💓💓

@jhmylove this is the person who defends me all the time. One of the best moots. Thank you so much for supporting me💓💓

@nanibecute I feel like she is featured on this blog. She has helped me a lot by suggesting stuff and supporting me. The blogversary was possible because of her💓💓

@yeosangsbiceps my teddy bear😭. I don't think I have ever talked to someone like her. She makes me laugh (the wap video is still my fav)😆💓💓. Her personality is unique in a good way.

@venycady my little sister here. I haven't talked to her in a while but she is really cute. Do check her work out on Wattpad if you read stuff related to BTS. 💓💓

@cherryxsang oh, she is the sweetest bean out there. Her tags always crack me up. She is a new one in this blog's family but already feels like she has been here for a while. 💓💓

@tkh-harumichi their art relaxes my soul. So talented and yet underrated. Please support them!💓💓

@aajjks I follow some wonderful yandere writers but her style is something else. Something unique and satisfying. I love what she writes.💓💓

ALL of the blogs I follow, ALL of my readers, ALL of my followers, ALL of my anons (both, classified and non-classified) (🍎 anon; 💝anon; ankle anon). They all are my favorites. If I start listing every one of them, it will take a lot of time. But I love all of them💓💓.

Thank you for making my time on this blog so amazing!💓

[severalsunlitdays-ao3]

hello! do you write stuff?

Hi!

I have lost the password to my first fanfiction account (and I don't intend on drawing anyone's attention towards it anytime soon-- yes, it's that bad) but I made new fanfiction.net and archiveofourown.org accounts.

I have only written a single drabble of sorts so far for the new account-- I wrote it on a whim after reading a hilarious comment on a Reddit post. It is a crack-fic (my first time dabbling in that genre) and I actually like what I wrote, even though it is super short.

Here is a link to my new accounts (I haven't gotten around to posting my story on ffn yet).

Ao3

FFn

I had a story idea for a Harry/Ginny (what else, lol. My first and only One True Pairing™️) fanfic around a year ago, but I never sat down to write it. I recently started typing down the first chapter (just when I have a huge assignment at work-- yep, I'm a master procrastinator) and I have finished it now. As soon as I finish typing down the first five chapters, I'll start posting them weekly. At the rate at which stuff is going, I guess the first chapter won't be out till April.

The fanfic has one of my favourite tropes-- the betrothal contract trope, and the story is set in DH (everything prior to DH is canon compliant). I've been having loads of fun brainstorming and pestering my non-HP obsessed husband with the random plot points that keep popping into my head. I'm really excited to share it online as soon as possible!

[burntotears]

Fanfic Origin Story

Tagged by @bekkachaos 💕

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

Popslash RPF - NSYNC

What was first story you ever wrote.

My main ship was Lance/Chris (Trickyfish), so it was most likely one for them. I wrote some Justin/Chris (Timbertrick) and Justin/Lance (Lamblove) too. I was 12 and everything I wrote was basically crack-fic or dark-fic where people were dying and shit. It was awful.

What's a piece of advice you would give your younger fic writing self?

Everything doesn't have to be devastating to be interesting. You can write something with a happy ending and it can still be interesting. But also, keep writing, because you'll get better.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback)

Back in the Merlin, Legend of the Seeker, Lord of the Rings days I met this one Australian graphic artist who was super sweet and made a TON of stuff for me. She did all the banner work for us in the Merlin Slash Awards (which I ran), made us little banners when we participated in the fun little team contests for Disney, LotS, and LotR AND made me banners for my LiveJournal accounts. Just unbelievably kind and I am so sad that we fell out of touch.

The one amazing thing that really blew me away was the cover art she made me for my first multi-chapter long fic, Unsuitable, for the Merlin fandom. She's soooo talented and I still think about her.

Post a sentence or two from an older fic and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

My first Sterek (and TW) fic, Be the Overflow

“A guy like you? That’s a load of bullshit and you know it. Erica said she had a crush on you for quite a while and you never even noticed her until she turned. For someone who knows what it feels like, Stiles, you sure are a huge fucking hypocrite. There are plenty of people who--” but Derek didn’t finish that sentence. Whatever it was he was about to say, he no longer wanted to say it.

“People who what? Who want to be my friend? Who want to laugh at my jokes but make out with the guy who’s hotter and a lot more mysterious? Someone more like Scott? Yeah, I know all about that, Derek, and I’d rather you didn’t call me a hypocrite before having all the facts, alright? How’s about we all just shut the hell up and stop talking about my non-existent love life because that would be really fucking swell right about now,” Stiles spat with a bit more venom than even he knew he possessed. He looked back down at the pipe and the rope and decided the task definitely needed his undivided attention now.

“You are completely full of it. You’re going to keep blaming other people for the fact that you can’t see the things that are right in front of your own goddamn face, so you know what? You deserve what you get, Stiles.” There was a hardness in Derek’s voice that Stiles couldn’t really place.

The Teen Malex AU, The Answer is Always "Okay."

Michael seemed better when Alex glanced up again. “Guerin… you wanna tell me what the fuck just happened?” Alex held up his wrist to indicate.

“I don’t - I don’t even know how to do that,” Michael said. He was afraid. Terrified, even. Alex couldn’t just see it on his face, though—it was something viscous seeping into his veins from inside Michael. He could feel it.

Alex stood up, moving the short distance across the shed. “Oh-okay, Guerin, you need to start talking. I know you’re freaked out or whatever, but so am I.”

Michael blinked and looked up at Alex as though he just realized he was there. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit.” Alex rolled his eyes. “Rationally, I understand that my wrist is fixed. I get that you did something. So what I’m sorta gonna need you to fill me in on is how the fuck that is.”

Tagging these lovely folks if they would like 💕

@portraitofemmy @haloud @jule1122 @im-the-punk-who @angrycowboy @beautifulcheat @thesquidkid @bydayornight

[writinglittlebeasts]

find the word tag game

i was tagged by @liv-is to find the words hum, don't, star, and strong. gonna be working out of stress on account of i've got it open on my computer right now.

hum from stress and your workplace:

His back feels much better. Comparatively. He still grunts and groans when he needs to bend and stretch, but he can walk without much pain at all. When he jumps, he lands level on his feet, and he only shudders where before he collapsed.  His head feels clearer, as well. The panic is a dull hum at the back of his skull and he's happy to keep it there. It buries the despair, but it isn't overwhelming him the way that it was. He doesn't think about it.  Leon heaves the great gear into his arms and his breath leaves him like a bout of steam, whistling between his teeth. It would be heavy if he weren't running on empty with a body that's falling to pieces; because he's injured, it's a nearly impossible strain.

don't from stress and your workplace (this word is a frequent flier in this fic, good fucking god 57 occurrences...):

Leon asks, "Why? Why aren't you going to kill me?"  The answer isn't immediate, but Leon hears the gravelly intake of breath that signals an answer is forthcoming, and he tries not to let his anxiety get the better of him in the meantime.  The tall man's inhale is much longer than before, and that's not to discredit just how long the last had been; Leon assumes that the longer the answer, the deeper the breath. Like speaking and breathing don't come naturally to the tall man, like he can't distribute them evenly.  The rattle subsides. "Do not deserve it... Explain what you deserve."  Now Leon's eyes open, and he raises his head. The tall man stares down his nose at Leon. It would seem demeaning if it weren't for the non-expression on his face. And what does something like the tall man have to demean? There's nothing in the station-- perhaps, even, the entirety of Raccoon City --that can hold a candle to him. "What do you mean, what I deserve?" Leon asks. As the tall man opens his mouth like he'll inhale again Leon clarifies, "Are you asking me if I deserve to die? Because I don't."  Rattle. "Explain what you deserve." 

star from stress and your workplace:

He repeats the process. He rubs his fingertips into the bridge of his nose and the hollows under his eyes and he doesn't stop when he starts seeing stars. He's soaked his arms to the elbow, not to mention down the front of his shirt, by the time he recognizes himself again. His ears are ringing and his nose stings, he tries not to think about the way his mouth tastes, but he doesn't look like somebody who's cracked skulls. He thinks that it feels better, but he knows that he won't be able to forget it.

strong from stress and your workplace (don't is in here, too):

The tall man suddenly reaches out. His hand wraps around Leon's neck, more a weight than a tightness, and he uses his strong thumb to tip Leon's head back. He redirects Leon's gaze onto himself. Leon's lips part in a snarl. "I deserve to know why."  "Get your hands off of me." Leon doesn't growl, but he hisses.  "I deserve to know why."  "And I don't deserve to hold your fucking hand while you learn what life's really all about!" When the tall man's hand doesn't move Leon pries it off of his neck, himself. He shoves it aside with force. "What the hell do you want from me?"

and now ! i will tag... @writernopal @lorenfinch @moonluringfrost @yamiunicorn (i can not seem 2 tag your writing blog whatsoever) to find the words agape, borrow, one, and rummage

[eileen-crys]

RachelB's 50 fics celebration!

Hi everyone! By posting my latest fic for Queen Hurt/Comfort weekend, "I thank the Lord above, my life has been saved" I reached the count of 50 fics written and posted on AO3! 🥰

Yeah, I know, the count says 47, but the remaining three fics/oneshots have been posted as chapters in a couple of stories, namely "Please stay awhile" for Queen trough the seasons (2 fics in 1) and "The tales of John, Roger and Veronica" for Dealor Week 2022 (3 fics in 1). 👀🤭

I must admit I've never expected to come this far with writing, but reading and writing fics helped me SO much improving my English, as a non-native speaker. And I'm so happy to be able to tell stories not only through visual art but with writing as well, I'm very proud of how far I've come.

And most of all I'm grateful to everyone who is willing to read my silly stories, despite I'm very much indulging so much on a single ship with few exceptions; and I'm glad my own writing helped others to get interested in Johnica and inspired them as well, exactly as it happened to me after reading @kinole009x 's stories! 🥺💖

"I love the fact that I can make people happy, in any form. Even if it's just an hour of their lives, if I can make them feel lucky or make them feel good, or bring a smile to a sour face, that to me is worthwhile." - Freddie Mercury

⚜️ My Masterlist | My AO3 account ⚜️

The Game

To celebrate I'd love to share something with you and let you ask me about my fics, my stories, my opinions, etc.

Send me an ask with a number and/or a letter from the lists below, up to maximum 3 each. And/or you can add an extra from the third list!

Under the cut I'll put the ask games' lists, that I collected from various ask games around Tumblr or wrote myself.

NUMBERS (up to 3 in an ask)

1) What's your total AO3 kudos count?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

3) How many fics did you write in (year among 2019/20/21/22)?

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

10) Have you ever had a fic gifted?

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

14) Do you have a WIP you've abandoned or will never finish? Why is that so?

15) What are your writing strengths?

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

19) What tropes you thought you wouldn't like but ended up enjoying?

20) What's something you'll never write?

LETTERS (up to 3 in an ask) (lots of these have been taken by the "Salty Asks list")

A. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

B. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

C. Have you ever had heavy fights over a fandom opinion?

D. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

E. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

F. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously disliked?

G. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

H. Do you read pairings you don't write?

I. What pairing would you try to write if given the occasion?

J. Which unpopular character you'd like to read more often?

K. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

L. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

M. What are your thoughts on crack ships?

N. Most shippable character?

O. Least shippable character?

EXTRA (one per ask! Copy and paste the question 😊) (This is meant as you asking me about a fic, to be clear 💕)

Suggest me... a fic of yours to start reading your fics, I'm a new reader!

Suggest me... the first fic you've read about Johnica!

Suggest me... a fic of yours to read if I'm not a huge Johnica fan. Either lull me into it or give me something different.

Suggest me... an old fic of yours you wish had attention again!

Suggest me... your favourite series from another author!

Suggest me... your comfort fic written by someone else.

Suggest me... a smutty fic of yours! ;)

Suggest me... an old fic of yours you would re-write, let's see if it's as bad as you say.

Suggest me... the fic that made you saddest while writing.

Suggest me... your fic with least Kudos!

Suggest me... your longest oneshot!

Suggest me... your shortest oneshot!

Special thanks are always a bit of an awkward moment for me because my memory is not that great and I'm always scared to forget someone, if I did please believe me I didn't donit on purpose 😔💕

To my beloved Johnica pals (who also are included in the following lists haha) @beydeaks @john-deacon-fucks @john-paul-george-ring0 @blossom-melina-burnickel @julescape @kinole009x and -maybe to a lesser extent abt johnica lately but still important- @deakysgurl , to my beloved friends and supporters @warriorteam1924 @finland-shoes @seventhmoonforreal @the-world-of-erit , to the whole writers Discord group, full of wonderful and super supportive writers such as @a-froger-epic @queenies-bug @freddie-mercury-rising @sokkas-first-fangirl @bambirex @sparkleslightlyy @quirkysubject @idontknowhowthisworked and more, who all helped me sooo much since I joined. And EVERYONE who reads, leaves kudos and comments on my fics, thank you. I love you all, truly. 🥺💖💕💜💖💕💜💖

[greenerteacups]

Frequently Asked Questions

Hi! If I’m asked a question more often than sometimes, it’s probably here. Static page also accessible at this link.

When is the next chapter coming out?

I update on Friday mornings, weekly, usually before noon PST. If it’s a Friday and you don’t see an update, it’s either because I’m on a writing break, or we’re in a hiatus between books. Or I've been hit by a car or something.

Do you have social media?

Aside from Tumblr — nope! I’m one of those hermit types. My AO3 account was previously the only place I was active online. I made a Tumblr so I could offer a platform to interact with people who are more comfortable here than in the AO3 comments section (for instance, there’s no anonymity function on AO3; you can log out and comment as a guest, but that’s a lot of work, and then there's not an easy way to check if your question was answered.)

Can I tag you in [thing]?

Yeah! I check back in here every few days, on average, to scope out my inbox and my mentions. If you make something for my fic, I’ll publicize it everywhere, obviously.

Can I bind your fics?

Yep! Carte blanche. I don’t own the copyright for anything I write, so I appreciate the thoughtfulness of people asking, but you can absolutely go ahead and do whatever the hell you want with the text of my fic. Print it, paint it, burn it, bind it, turn it into blackout poetry. Transformative art is human nature. But if you do, please, please, show me! I’ll scream for a thousand years.

Caveat: I’ve seen some people have anxieties about the sale of bound fics for profit, since they’re worried about publishers cracking down on copyright violation and litigating fanfiction. This is tough, because on the one hand, bookbinding can be expensive; on the other hand, selling fic is a violation of copyright, and the only way AO3 is allowed to exist is by authors making precisely $0 from anything they post. (This is why AO3 will boot you immediately if they catch you trying to make money from non-original works on their site — if I so much as drop a PayPal link in the description for Lionheart, the fic will quickly be taken down, and my account could be suspended.) So my stance is: I’m not going to sell my fics; if you bind for personal use, this doesn’t matter, go for it, live deliciously, etc; if you bind to sell, please be careful and discreet as you can. But you have my OK, for what it’s worth.

Can I translate your fics?

Yes, of course.

Will you write other things, besides Lionheart?

Eventually, yeah. Probably nothing longform soon, however. When I’m writing something, I get engrossed in the world and I sort of tunnel-vision onto the project. When Lionheart goes on a hiatus between books, I may pop out and do something else, just to keep my skills sharp and give my mind a break. That’s where shorter pieces like The Climb and SWLITS came from. But I keep my eyes on the prize, as far as what I’m writing, because I pride myself on having finished most (though admittedly, not all) things I’ve ever started on AO3. I hate having unfinished projects  cluttering up my Works page. 

I don’t read WIPs. When will Lionheart be finished/should I read Lionheart?

Listen, I’m not gonna tell anyone how to read fic. If your reading preferences make you happy, then you’re doing it right. And I’ve also been burned by remarkable WIPs that peter out, or die on a cliffhanger, and they just about break my heart. I can’t promise that won’t happen, because I don’t know what life holds in store. I also can’t promise when Lionheart will be finished, because, frankly, I have no idea! As a full-book rewrite, if you look at the current chapter count, and then look at the number of books in the series, then, yeah, it clearly has a long way to go.

But I also know that the Completed Works filter on AO3 is hiding a lot of good fic, and I think people who only read completed stuff are missing out on the real fun of update culture — of reading something serially, the excitement of waiting for the next chapter to drop, looking for clues about long-running puzzles, theorizing in the comments, getting to experience each new hit live. That’s one of the few things about fanfic that you can’t get in a novel, and it’s a real treat. I’d at least give it a try.

Otherwise, here’s what I can tell you: Books 1, 2, 3, and 4 will all be finished. They will have completed endings, and will offer (satisfying, I hope) resolutions to the major conflicts of those stories. And that’s a fact.