widowlyy · 1 day ago
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ON THE RUN ⌣⌣⋟ 🍒
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analysis. Natasha is on the run; while you're running from everything. Well, now with you tied up in the back of her corvette you can't run. Stuck with the woman who has been hunting you down, you can't help but push her limits. pairing. natasha romanoff x reader smut. dark!nat, bratty!r. non-con(?), strap on use (r receiving), fingering, oral, top!nat and bottom!reader. choking, bondage, gagging. daddy kink, degrading (puppy, mutt, and slut used). alluded to stockholm syndrome. word count. 1.5k
authors note. I understand I have two other fics going but why not add in on kinktober with just one fic 😏 — holy shit i jst realized this is like the first time I actually wrote smut other than my drabbles ☹️ ⌣⌣⋟
You heard the tires screech as the corvette had rolled into the abandoned parking lot. Eyes wide, hands tied behind your back as you had the gag spit out of your mouth as you fixated your glare on Natasha. Nose scrunching, before hissing out, “This isn’t following regulation! You’re going to get in more trouble!”
You questioned why Natasha hadn’t tightened the gag, as if the redhead was asking for you to be annoying, which you were. Having the threats of ‘if you don’t keep that gag in then you won’t like the consequences to come’ and yet you kept pushing your limits everytime thinking Natasha wasn’t going to do anything too drastic. It wasn’t until her head whipped back with a dark glare pinpointed at you as she snapped out. 
“We’re both on the run from the government, I’m doing a brat like you a favor. I don’t trust you stabbing me in the back both ways, I’m so close to losing my temper with you,” Her words were cold, and you knew that it was nothing but the truth. You had swallowed thickly before opening your mouth to have argument with the redhead words as she cut you off, “If you spit out that gag one more time I might as well find something else to occupy your mouth with,”
The pool of heat that seeped through your panties had you thinking a little bit, the way Natasha had been looking at you couldn’t help but want to test out the waters. Sifting your body a bit in the seat with your restraints before speaking out, “so why don’t you come back here and try me?”
The car was put into park, Natasha had eased off of the brake to lift her foot. Which isn’t what she’s about to do with you, no plans on having it ease as she hissed out, “Such a pathetic mutt, doesn’t know when to stop pouring too much spice to the mix,”
She crawled into the back seat, and it wasn’t without a doubt a cool hand had grasped your cheek and pressed you into the window of the corvette. It wasn’t even hard, taking a small pocket knife to tear through the clothing as she fondled your breasts. With you know bear in her leather seats, her eyes fell to the soaked panties before letting out a mocking taunt, “such a little slut, we work against each other but you still can’t help but get wet for me,”
You had released a whimper as her fingers found your nipples and pulled harshly. Your body had moved back, hips pressing into her pelvic bone as you felt your mind daze enough to allow the redhead to maneuver you about. Putty in her hands and you felt her pull back already, sexual frustration beating the fear of her cruelty you spat out, “Natasha if you don’t put your hands back I might as well stab you in the back,”
A hand had found your scalp, gripping the roots of your hair before pushing your face into the leather seats of her corvette. Her other hand had squeezed your ass, fingers gently trailing down to swipe through your folds and watching your arousal stick to the pads of her fingers, “Listen here you stupid mutt, you think you’re so mighty but I know that when daddy puts her hands on you all you become is a needy little puppy,”
You whined, wiggling your hips back before Natasha pushed your hips back down. Her hand lowered from your ass to cup your core, thumb pressing down on your clit as you moaned out loudly into the thick air of tension that resided in the vehicle. Her eyes darkened as she hummed, clearly thinking.
“Now what should I do with you? Hmm? Maybe train the poor little puppy to learn that she can’t get what she wants,” She taunted, pressing her lips to your ear as you let out a soft cry. Wrists shifting from behind your back against the ropes as they uncomfortably rubbed against your skin which is bound to be red and burning when they—if—they come off. As much as you were against having to be edged and not allowed to cum, you still felt more needy than you realized, crying out.
“Daddy please, I’ll be good,” Her grip released on your hair for a split second before her hand snaked around and gripped your throat and lightly squeezed as the hand between your legs had plunged two fingers into your needy hole as her nails gently scraped down your velvety walls which gave you a feeling of paradise you haven’t felt in a long time, “Hmm? Please what puppy? Daddy doesn’t read minds,”
You let out a soft babble, not able to utter anything out as your attention was on your restricted air and the fingers of the assassin inside you. Her pads were rough, calloused from so many fights and training, eyes watering a bit as Natasha started to steadily thrust into you as she watched how your cunt accepted it all. When your body shook and your walls squeezed her roughly, she ripped her hand out from your core and you cried out pitifully into the air. Tears had swelled in your ducts, and they were threatening to dribble down your cheeks as Natasha mockingly cooed.
“Poor puppy, my poor little mutt was so close wasn’t she?” And you nodded so quickly, desperately, feeling her hand on your throat leave as fabric was heard being pulled down her body behind you until you felt silicone press against your thigh. You were already a sopping wet mess, and she took that advantage to plunge her fake cock into your desperate cunt.
“You need to learn your manners, ask daddy to cum when you need to cum or when I take you to my safehouse I’m going to edge you all night and make you warm my cock,” She threatened harshly until she steadily set her pace of thrusting into you. She started off slow and tauntingly, which had your knuckles white before her hands found your hips to steady herself. Without warning her pace quickened and the sound of skin slapping was heard throughout the car. The sound of wetness squelching as she pounded into your pussy was heard over the faint radio in the background of reporters looking for Natasha and the other avenger on the run.
You felt insane pleasure, blissful already as you whimpered out. Her thumb pressed against your clit as you panted against the leather of her seats, a mocking sentence left her lips again, “such a little slut, is puppy so desperate to get fucked that she lets her enemies pound into her from behind in a car?”
You moaned out loudly, mewls had left your throat as you felt your lungs shrivel up as your voice was heard throughout the vehicle. Brows furrowing as you tried to hold onto that coil in your stomach, and you completely forgot. Without a warning your orgasm washed through, feeling the stickiness gush out of your cunt and stick to yours and Natasha’s thighs. You felt silence go through the car, even the radio stopped. The shared movements between the both of you had come to a pause before Natasha’s strap was pulled out of your hole.
“That was a bad puppy,” her teeth grit, and the irritation in Natasha’s voice was clearly heard as she lowered herself onto all fours, hands ripping your thighs apart to bring her tongue to your folds to get a final taste of your arousal and essence. She was addicted already, lavishing your cunt but never giving you the friction you needed. When you tried to grind down on her face she pulled back and left you on edge, listening to you let out a sob as she gave a slap to your ass.
“You’re gonna have to wait until we get to the safehouse mutt, because I’m certainly not done with you. Especially with how you already broke one of daddy’s rules. Gonna warm my cock all night while I play with your pretty tits and clit, going to ensure that I’m all you’re gonna need puppy,” She had pulled her pants back up as she tucked her strap back into her pants, leaving you face down in the seat with no move to sit you upright.
She took your gag off of your neck where you had previously spit it out, wet with your salvias. She left your body bare as she rolled up your panties and shoved it into your mouth to gag you properly, eyes falling on how your eyes fluttered shut to hide how aroused you were. She slid back up to the front seat of the car, eyes dark as she went back to drive on the road to the familiar route of the safehouse. Tuning the radio up before she quietly announced to you.
“You better prepare yourself puppy, because daddy doesn’t plan on letting you go anytime soon,” Her eyes met yours in the rearview mirror as your eyes drooped. Listening to the raspy chuckle of the runaway avenger, before your mind went blank. Vision going black as you passed out with the burning ache in your stomach for desperate release that you weren’t going to get anytime soon. A poor little mutt that got picked up off of the streets, oh how did you end up like this.
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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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kasmis · 2 years ago
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Shinigami / Death Mark II
Hiii so I wanted to write out my thoughts after playing last weekend! I’ll be giving an overview of the game / discussing certain aspects in detail, so please be wary if you’re trying to avoid any information on what happens. I tried to avoid any overt spoilers, though. Conversely, if there’s something you’re curious about that I don’t discuss here, feel free to ask!
General Summary and Thoughts on the Premise
Ig just to start I should briefly summarize the game. Shinigami takes place 4 months after the end of Death Mark at a school in H City called Konoehara Gakuen. Yashiki has been hired by the principal to investigate the rumors surrounding the school and the mysterious messages left by an unknown entity known as “Shibito.” As the game progresses, Yashiki must figure out who the target of each new message is, what spirit is targeting them, and the identity of Shibito / their motivation for leaving these messages.
I liked this premise overall! It was interesting to see Yashiki and the Mark Bearers so soon after the events of the first game. IIRC the writer stated this game was showing the beginning of his transition from the person he was at the end of DM to the person we see briefly in NG; that is, someone who fully embraces his role as a “spirit specialist.” I also think having the school as the main location was a smart choice, since it allowed for a more cohesive and connected story. While the spirit cases weren’t related to each other, having the school and Shibito’s messages be the unifying factor made it feel slightly more streamlined than the other games.
The Cases Themselves + The Spirits
While the game has a total of 7 chapters, there are only 3 “boss” spirits and a final boss that also pops up throughout the story (Shibito, if it wasn’t obvious). So as to not give too much away, I’ll just refer to the other spirits by their chapters. Out of all the cases, I think Chapter 2′s was the best written and most interesting. The plot points hit certain weak spots for me, and I thought the reveal of the grudge and the resolution were really heart wrenching. This also made the initial reveal of what happens after a successful purification even more shocking. If I had any complaints, it’d be that the spirit design just didn’t really do anything for me.
Chapter 3 had really great sound design and I liked the design of the spirit, but the story wasn’t as interesting to me as the other two. It does have some of my favorite CGs from the game though, so I have to give it points. Chapter 5 had maybe my favorite spirit design from any of the games and an interesting story, but I was disappointed by the final confrontation tbqh. I can forgive that though, since there was a longer confrontation sequence beforehand. I also really liked most of the character interactions in this chapter, both with returning and new characters, so I think overall it was my favorite from the game.
Shinigami also incorporates several minor spirits that you confront throughout the game besides the boss spirits. I thought this inclusion was nice, and most of these encounters are simple enough that they’re not tedious. Their designs were good, but nothing standout.
Having another reoccurring “villain” like in NG was a fun plot device, and it was fun seeing the way Shibito’s appearance morphed and changed throughout the game as we learned more about them. I will say that I wasn’t particularly blown away by any of the designs, even in their final form, though. I still think Kakuya’s final form was the best out of the 3 games. Still, Shibito’s presence throughout the game was a fun way to keep the tension high. I also think the story behind Shibito’s grudge was really great; it was the perfect amount of sad, yucky, and scary, and I like how it incorporated lore explored in the other two games. I will say I was a little disappointed that the Hyakki Yagyo concept wasn’t really touched on, since my expectation coming into the game was that it’d play a larger role.
I also liked that one of the key aspects of the game was to determine the true identity of Shibito, even if I think I figured it out more quickly than the game anticipated. If you also figure it out quickly, it can make some “deduction” sections feel like a little bit of a slog. The game throws in a few red herrings and curveballs that complicate the mystery though, so I think it’ll still keep people on their toes for the most part.
The Characters
I enjoyed the way they portrayed Yashiki in this game for the most part and love him so much as a protagonist in general. I’ve seen some people complain that he seems a little weak-willed or overly hesitant, but I agree with that characterization, especially at this point in his development. I also have seen some people say that he seems ungrateful towards the former Mark Bearers that return to help him out, but to be honest like, I wouldn’t want these normal people getting involved in dangerous situations either, so I understand why he wouldn’t be over the moon about it LOL. I really loved being able to compare his character here to how he was in DM and see how he changed in the 4 month interval, and also how he changes throughout the game itself.
I won’t say I thought he was a great character throughout the game, though. Again, without trying to spoil too much, a big part of the story involves some of the new characters crushing on Yashiki / being attracted to him. I anticipated this tbh, but it was still slightly uncomfortable having underage girls express romantic interest towards him and him not immediately shutting it down. I get that he lived a reclusive life up until now, but he seems a little naïve and it can be frustrating at times. However, it’s established that Yashiki is someone who is easily affected by the feelings of others (both human and spirit) and one of his major flaws is that he has trouble denying these feelings even for his own sake, so it’s not as if this is something completely out of character. Even so, I didn’t particularly enjoy this aspect of the game and it’s part of the reason why I ended up preferring one ending over the other.
The returning characters are all good to see! I liked that some characters still played an important role even if they no longer function as partners, and I really really liked that the game offered some more insight into their interpersonal relationships with each other and not just with Yashiki. It was satisfying hearing some information that confirmed things for me. I also liked that they kept the mechanic where you have to have a certain partner in order to complete certain actions and progress the story, even if switching them out could be a bit annoying if the place you needed to go to was far away from the infirmary (which is like the home base like the mansion was in DM).
I... don’t want to sound too crazy and go off about the Mashita and Yashiki interactions, but I’ll just say that I was incredibly satisfied and have enough material to ponder to last me for a long time. I’ll leave it at that, for all of us.
I was a little worried since there were so many new characters, but I ended up liking most of them! I think my standout favorites are Sakamoto-sensei, Horikoshi, and Saki. I wish Saki and Abe had more screen time, since I enjoyed their scenes quite a lot. I like the principal and thought he was written well, though being written well made him (and Sakamoto) hard to handle in some instances lol. Sadly I didn’t particularly care for Himeko and Michiho, which could get a bit frustrating at times since they really ended up being front and center for a lot of the game.
The CGs + Art
Though you have a choice between two partners for the chapters with spirit cases, the partner who dies if the spirit isn’t fully purified is always fixed. That means there were only a total of 3 partner death CGs total. I was personally a little disappointed by this, since there were certain characters I really wanted to see, but for the narrative direction this game took it makes sense that only a few characters would be able to die (being that you can still technically get the “Good End” even if your partners die, and some partners are confirmed to still be alive in NG). I wasn’t too impressed by the Chapter 2 and 3 death CGs, but I liked the one from Chapter 5 a lot.
The “Bad End” CG, however, was one of my favorites in the game!! I think it makes sense that Yashiki gets the best CGs in the game, but I thought almost all of his were really really great. A few of the new characters also get some really great CGs. There are a few ones that just seem like pointless fanservice without actually being scary, but overall I liked the stills from this game.
I did feel some of the CGs and still images didn’t match up to the character sprites well, specifically the CGs of a certain character in Chapter 2. I think this is just due to the fact that these CGs were done by a different artist than the sprite artist, but it still bothers me slightly.
Speaking of the sprites, I personally prefer the ones from the first game. I felt like they got rid of a lot of Yashiki’s crustiness, which was what I like the most about his design LOL. He still retains a little bit of crustiness in some of the CGs, so at least that’s a win if you’re like me and miss it too. The new sprites ended up growing on me though. Everyone gets more facial expressions too, which is something I wish DM had. Overall, I think the art in this game was good and retains the feel from the other games.
The Endings
There are 3 possible endings; a Bad End, a Good End, and a True End. Unlike previous games, the Bad End doesn’t happen if you fail to save your partners, but rather if you fail to correctly deduce who Shibito is. It’s a short ending, but the CG you get is soooo worth it imho. The Good End happens if you correctly guess Shibito’s identity and survive the final encounter, but you fail to save all of the characters you could possibly have saved. The True End happens if you save all these characters, survive, and make a certain choice after the end of the final confrontation (if you saved all of the characters, but do not make this choice, you get the Good End instead). The True End is also only available after getting either the Bad End or the Good End first.
Between the Good and True Ends, I definitely liked the Good End more. I don’t think I can get into why I feel this way without outright talking about the endings, but I liked the way the Good End concluded the story and set up what was in store for Yashiki in the future. That being said, I didn’t totally dislike the True End. I think it’s definitely a much happier end, but I think some people might not like it and I completely understand why. Either way, I think both were satisfying in their own way, but the Good End felt more appropriate to me.
New Mechanics + Other Notes
I really love the new side-scrolling / movement function. I actually spent so much time just making them run around LOL, it was so entertaining. Everyone gets idle animations as well, which were really fun! Sometimes the selection sensitivity for investigation points can be annoying, but otherwise I don’t have any complaints. There’s also a fast travel feature that takes you back to the infirmary, which was a really nice feature. Returning to the infirmary also restores any HP lost during encounters. My only complaint is this movement system doesn’t particularly help build any tension or enhance the horror of the game, which can be a bit of a detriment to a “horror” game.
The Live or Die mechanic has now been replaced by something called Suspensive Act. To briefly explain: you expend HP to execute certain actions, which have a non-fixed success rate. You can either execute these acts as Yashiki, make your partner do it, or execute them together in tandem. My opinions on this are mostly mixed. For some reason I always have the worst luck with % based success rolls, so I had to redo some events multiple times, not because I was choosing the wrong options, but because I just kept failing rolls more than once. I’m glad they still allow you to start over from just before though, so it could be worse. I think once you know which answers are the correct ones you can end up brute forcing your way through these / the success rate stops being as important. I think it could have been refined a little better, but overall it works for what it is.
That being said, I like the introduction of more RPG elements and different characters having more success doing certain actions. While I don’t think it made much of a difference strategy-wise, since all partners can complete all actions and your success rate will always increase after you fail, it added more color to the world / helped strengthen their characterization imho. I also liked that for final encounters you could bring anyone along with you.
I also like the new leveling up / stats system. To summarize briefly, you collect items around the school while you’re investigating that can be traded for stat boosting items, which will then help you during Suspensive Acts. Collecting enough of these items can also allow you to level up, which increases your HP. I enjoyed having a reason to investigate lots of different things, and I think it was a good introduction to the mechanics of investigating and using tool combos for newer players. Finding all of the items in a chapter also unlocks character profiles, so there’s an incentive to hunting for them.
The soundtrack is good as always! There are some really great new songs, some pretty good remasters of older songs, and some returning classics. They tend to play the same few songs all the time, which I know is exactly how it was in the first game, but I think with a larger soundtrack available the overuse kind of bugged me. The sound design is really good aside from one or two instances where it felt kind of off, and the UI is insanely good imho. I loved the different menus and designs and I hope they retain some of the stylistic choices in the English version.
There’s so much more voice acting in Shinigami too, which was sooooo fun. Again, I felt like it really helped flesh out the characters and made it a more immersive experience.
What to Expect for Death Mark II
I do not envy Aksys one bit LOLLLL. This is their comeuppance for changing that one Mashita line in DM; a game full of puns and word play that will make no sense translated directly into English, along with more Japanese religious / cultural aspects that won’t be obvious to overseas players. I honestly don’t know how they’re going to tackle certain things, but that’s why it’s their job and not mine, so good luck to them!!
Additionally, I’d say the CGs for this game are a lot more grotesque and explicit than the other two games. I don’t really see how they’d censor some of the CGs too, so I don’t think they can take a Red Riding Hood approach either. I assume it’ll probably get the standard M rating, but I think it’s important to note the CGs are a bit more graphic here.
I am interested in seeing how they’ll tackle certain things though, and I’m looking forward to comparing my experience playing in Japanese and playing in English.
Final Thoughts
After I finished my initial playthrough, I walked away thinking this was a game about love. I don’t really know how to put my thoughts into words without giving away major parts of the game, but I think love is the most important element in every aspect: both the positive and negative effects that love, or the desire for love, can have on people; what happens when that love isn’t returned, that love is betrayed, or that love is stolen away; and how such a strong emotion continues to have an effect even after death. And I think all good horror always has a little bit of love in it.
I’m don’t think I prefer this game over DM in the end, but I don’t really want to compare the two. Even though they’re in the same series, they felt like very different games trying to tell different stories. Both games have strengths and weaknesses narrative-wise, but I guess it depends on what type of story you prefer. I think though, if I had to compare them in simple terms, it would be that Death Mark is a game about Yashiki figuring out who he is, while Shinigami is a game about him defining who he is. Whether that person is someone we end up liking or not will depend on the player I think.
That being said, I think Shinigami is an improvement in many ways. It feels much sleeker, has less overly confusing puzzles, has more CGs and location art, more in-depth characterization of its returning cast, and incorporates a lot of fun new gameplay elements. Though it simplifies things, sometimes overly so, it at times is also more confusing than it needs to be. But once you figure out the system it becomes relatively easier! I finished my first run through in about 22 hours, but I think there’s more replay value for completion runs and collecting all the items.
Overall, I had fun playing it and it met my expectations for the most part. I’m looking forward to future playthroughs and I’ll continue to think about the game for a while. I hope everyone who’s looking forward to it will be satisfied too!!
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rafecameronssl4t · 4 months ago
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Cart girl || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
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Summary: you meet Rafe during one of your shifts as a beverage cart girl.
Warnings: swearing idk what else
Word count: 797
A/n: beverage cart girls kept popping up on my fyp and I thought I might aswell 😂
MASTERLIST
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Divider by @yoonitos
“She new?” Rafe cocks his head towards your direction before swinging his club. Kelce and Topper both look to where Rafe was referring to, spotting you surrounded by a few other golfers.
“The beverage cart girl?” Topper questions as Rafe hums. “Can’t say I’ve seen her around before,” Topper says as the three boys watch you from afar. “Shit, she’s coming our way,” Kelce comments turning around to hide the fact the fact that he was watching as Topper looks away briefly.
“Hey, you guys want anything to drink or snack on?” you ask with a bright smile, lifting your hand to shield your eyes from the glaring afternoon sun. The three boys look up from their conversation, momentarily taken aback by your friendly demeanor.
“Yeah—uh, you guys want anything?” Rafe repeats the question to Kelce and Topper, who both nod enthusiastically. “Three Westbrooks, thanks,” Rafe says, his voice casual but with a hint of curiosity as his eyes linger on you.
“Sure,” you reply, stepping out of your cart. Rafe’s gaze follows your movements intently, his eyes raking over you in a way that doesn’t go unnoticed. He exchanges a smirk with Kelce and Topper, who try to conceal their grins, clearly amused by Rafe’s reaction.
“How’s your guys’ day been?” you ask sweetly, your voice filled with genuine interest as you reach for the three cans of Westbrook. “Yeah, yeah, good,” Rafe responds quickly, almost too quickly. “You new around here?” he adds, scratching the back of his neck, his curiosity getting the better of him.
“Uh, not really. I usually do morning shifts, but I’ve switched to afternoons,” you explain, handing them each a can, your fingers brushing Rafe’s briefly. “Cool,” Rafe nods, his eyes never leaving yours, the smirk still playing on his lips.
“Cash or card?” you ask, holding a small notepad ready to jot down their payment details. “Just put it on my tab. It’s Cameron,” Rafe replies confidently, his smirk widening as he notices the moment of recognition in your eyes. “Cameron?” you repeat, locking eyes with him, the name ringing a bell.
Your eyes rake over his features, taking in his confident smirk and the way he holds himself. Tilting your head the tiniest bit, you say, “Well, have a good rest of your day, guys.” You offer a warm smile before turning around and climbing back into your cart.
As you start the engine and drive away, you hear Kelce exclaim, “Fuck, she’s hot, dude,” while slapping Rafe’s chest. Rafe chuckles, his eyes fixed on your cart as it disappears into the distance.
“Yeah, she definitely is,” Rafe murmurs, a satisfied grin spreading across his face as he watches you leave. Topper shakes his head, laughing softly, trying to hide his amusement. “Think she’ll be around for the afternoon shifts more often?” Topper asks, glancing at Rafe. “Hope so,” Rafe replies, eyes still lingering on you.
~
“Y’know, the craziest thing happened to me yesterday afternoon,” you say absentmindedly, sipping on your fruity drink as you watch him line up his shot. His focus on the golf ball is intense, but he pauses for a moment, intrigued by your comment.
“Hmm? What happened, baby?” he replies, turning to make his way towards you. He presses a quick kiss on your lips before reaching over you to grab another club from the bag.
“I met your son,” you say, swirling the straw in your drink with your finger. Ward looks at you, his expression curious. “You saw Rafe?” he repeats, his tone carrying a mix of surprise and interest. “Yeah,” you hum in confirmation. “He’s quite good-looking, takes after his father,” you add with a smirk, watching as Ward chuckles and throws his head back in laughter.
“He’s a coke addict, baby. Best you don’t involve yourself with him, he’s trouble,” Ward warns, his thumb rubbing gently against your bottom lip. His touch is tender, but his words are firm. You stare up at him, undeterred. “He was nice to me,” you shrug, recalling the encounter.
“That’s because you’re a good-looking girl,” Ward says, his eyes twinkling with a mix of amusement and admiration “You think so?” you ask, your smirk growing. Ward chuckles, leaning down to press a kiss on your cheek. “I know so.”
As Ward returns to his game, you can’t help but let your mind wander back to Rafe. There was something about him that intrigued you and you couldn’t help but purposely run into him around the course.
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sanemistar · 3 months ago
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ᡣ𐭩 misunderstanding — sanemi shinazugawa
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ᡣ𐭩 pairing: sanemi x fem!reader ᡣ𐭩 genre: angst to fluff ᡣ𐭩 wc: 2.7k ᡣ𐭩 warnings: sanemi might be a bit ooc at some points oops, usage of nicknames (princess), slight swearing, not proof-read divider by @cafekitsune
ᡣ𐭩 synopsis: sanemi accidentally walks in on you talking to giyuu and heard you say ‘i love you’ to him, but instantly runs away before knowing your true intentions.
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to everyone around you, it was no secret that you were head over heels for none other than sanemi shinazugawa, the wind pillar, everyone but the wind pillar himself. you stuck to him like glue, spending time with him more than any other hashira. you definitely played favorites and never tried to hide that your favorite out of everyone was sanemi.
and it was the same for him, you were the only one whom he never dared to raise his voice against nor looked so angrily at, his soft voice and gentle gaze were only exclusive to you.
he felt so relaxed and at peace around you in a way like never before. to him, no one else mattered but you. you were just exceptional in his eyes, your delicacy when sparing, your cheerful and bright personality that shone as bright as the sun, lighting up his dull world, your infinite kindness towards everyone around you (especially to his little brother) these were all some of the many, many things he really admired about you.
one day after a long hashira training session sanemi went to relax and cool off somewhere when he saw you there, standing next to the water hashira talking about something that seemed to be happy, judging from your sweet smile that made his heart race awfully fast. he was dying to know what made you so happy to the point where a faint blush was making its way onto your beautiful soft cheeks, his curiosity grew and eventually got the best of him as he decided to step closer while being cautious in order not to get caught eavesdropping, so he successfully hid himself behind a big tree and closely watched the two of you in anticipation with one thought on his mind, he must’ve lost his mind. but he couldn’t help it, he was so damn crazy about you.
however, at that exact moment he instantly regretted his decision to step closer. the moment where he felt his world fell apart and crumbled right in front of his eyes. he should’ve just let you two be, he shouldn’t have indulged into this matter any further, he should’ve quietly walked away. but it was a little too late to do so.
hearing you blurt out ‘i love you’—the sweetest three words anyone could ever hear in their lifetime, to none other than his rival, his nemesis out of all the people he could think of was something sanemi could never prepare himself for even if he wanted to.
he stormed out as quick as the wind before hearing any more love whispers come out of your sweet lips, which caused a big misunderstanding on his part. but little did he know what your true intentions were.
sanemi didn’t know that you were just practicing your confession to him in front of giyuu, asking him for help and advice because you wanted to make sure you gave him the most perfect confession. although that ended up not being so helpful because giyuu wasn’t really that experienced to begin with so he didn’t add anything new, he just gave his approval.
and for the following weeks after, sanemi was avoiding you like his life depended on it. he tried his best to be around you like normal but he failed. he couldn’t handle acting as if he didn’t hear you declaring your love for another man, even though being this far away from you hurt him more than anything else in the world, he couldn’t ignore his feelings for you that were so heartbreakingly overflowing and pretend to see you as nothing more than a friend.
you noticed his obvious distance from you, which was a foreign feeling to you. he no longer asked for you to spar with him like the two of you normally would, you no longer share meals with him either. the two of you barely shared any missions together to your misfortune. the time you spent with sanemi would gradually become less and less until it was close to none, as you two would only briefly meet during hashira meetings. every time you would approach him to ask if anything wrong happened he’d push you away and leave you behind, as if he was starting to build a wall between the two of you.
and it absolutely broke your heart to see things between you and him become like this, you were almost back to being strangers who knew nothing of each other. but you would never allow that to happen, even if he hated you for trying to break the boundaries he put. you wanted to fight for your love and happiness so you could never afford to give up on sanemi anytime soon.
fortunately one day, you were assigned by kagaya-sama to go on quite a long mission with sanemi for the first time in weeks, and you couldn't be any happier. after all, you finally got a chance to spend some alone time with him and you were more determined than ever to take advantage of the chance given and settle this whole thing by then.
despite looking forward to your upcoming journey, you were so awfully nervous to be alone with sanemi after being apart from him all that time. many negative thoughts immediately started racing inside your head, did you upset him? what if hated you, what if he no longer saw any value in being your friend and didn't want to be around you anymore? you felt like you might go insane from being overwhelmed as your heart felt too tight and it became too hard to breathe.
"ya done packin'?" you could hear his low voice coming from behind you as you turned around to face him. eyes meeting for the first time in a while, his lilac eyes looked duller and his face looked very emotionless to the point where you could almost never recognize him. this wasn't the sanemi you knew and fell in love with, you were sure something happened that you weren't aware of.
"yup, all done. let's get going." you get no reaction from him. instead, you watch him leave first as he walked in front of you, letting you get a look of his broad back that blocked almost everything from your sight and forcing you to solely focus on him and him only until you caught up with him and you were walking side by side with him.
the walk to your destination was awfully painful, filled with long extended moments of awkward silence and thick layers of nervousness and anxiety, which you absolutely despised. you wished for the ground to open up and swallow you whole without leaving a single trace of you behind.
you felt your heart pounding like crazy and your mind spiraling as you were dying to know what was on sanemi's mind and what was he feeling at that exact moment. you felt yourself jolting immediately when the back of your hand accidentally brushed against his as your cheeks were now tinted in red. but it went unnoticed since it was too dark to see anything.
finally after hours of walking you reach your destination, and you were instantly met with the sight of a demon almost swallowing a young terrified woman alive. you shifted your entire focus on the scene happening in front of you, with your utmost priority being the safety of the woman and slaying that demon, which was unfortunately an upper moon.
neither you nor sanemi needed to exchange any words, as both of you read each other's minds. you immediately jump right in front of that demon and swiftly snatch the woman away, leading her away from the fight scene and after making sure she ran away somewhere safe you ran to where sanemi was to assist him in killing the demon.
it was such an intense fight, as expected, defeating an upper moon was never anything easy no matter how experienced you were. you huffed as you tried to catch your breath while letting sanemi handle things before resuming your fight.
things were going well and you almost cut his head when he suddenly disappeared from your sight before you could even notice. you fret for a split second and before you or sanemi got any chance to react and dodge that hit, the demon fiercely hit you behind your back and strongly knocked you down.
sanemi panicked upon seeing you take the fall but he couldn't rush to your side even if he desperately wanted to, he had to take care of that demon first. filled with rage as a result, he violently cut the demon's head and immediately ran to where you laid, sweat intensely forming on his face, his vision was getting blurry as hot fresh tears ran down his scarred cheeks while holding your body delicately in his arms.
"fuck! no, no, no, please y/n, please stay with me!" you could faintly hear him plead with a distressed expression written all over his face. you hopelessly try to extend your arms and your hand comes in contact with his rough skin, causing him to get all tensed up.
"sa..nemi." you had barely managed to say his name before you lost consciousness and he felt very shaken. it was your first time calling him by his first time, but he didn't have the time to get excited about that. he hurriedly carried you in his arms and ran towards the butterfly mansion, not even waiting for the kakushi to come and help aid you.
you were so badly injured that you went into a coma, and throughout that whole time sanemi never left your side, only leaving you when he used to the bathroom and during his short hours of sleep. how could he sleep peacefully at night when he wasn't sure if you were going to ever wake up again or not.
one night giyuu rushed to visit you after he found out what happened to you while he was on a mission, and he was met with sanemi sitting next to you who had awful dark circles under his eyes due to lack of sleep and a pale complexion from skipping meals. he quietly sat next to him, layers upon layers of heavy silence filled the atmosphere before giyuu decided to speak up, breaking the awkwardness that was all over the room.
"how is she?" he began asking frantically. it was new for giyuu to show any expression, he was known for being calm and composed at all times. so this was a bit out of character for him, to which sanemi felt his heart clench. obviously he'd be worried about you, you were his lover after all.
"she will wake up soon. she's so strong. you should have more faith in y/n, yeah? i mean, she's your girl." sanemi speaks firmly as he was about to leave the room, when he was stopped by giyuu's surprised expression.
"what are you even talking about, shinazugawa?" sanemi felt absolutely enraged as his veins popped off. was he really playing dumb just now?
"are you fuckin' kidding me, tomioka? don't you dare play dumb straight to my face! i heard y/n confessing to you the other day." sanemi finally snapped, after holding it in for so long for your sake. he didn't want to lash out on you because he was afraid that you would hate him for it.
at that particular moment, giyuu remembered that you once told him that you were concerned about sanemi's sudden distance but back then both of you failed at coming to a conclusion for his behavior. so it took giyuu a brief moment to connect the dots together and finally solved the mystery.
"calm down, shinazugawa. you're misunderstanding something here. let's talk outside, i'll explain everything." giyuu calmly instructed sanemi outside and he followed.
a misunderstanding? what was there to misunderstand? that word kept lingering in the back of sanemi's mind until they went outside your room.
giyuu sighed deeply as he started explaining the events of that day to sanemi.
"back then those words of affection that she said weren't meant for me. she was actually practicing how to confess her feelings for you with me since she was too nervous about it."
sanemi froze in his place upon hearing giyuu's announcement, his mind trying hard to process what he was told earlier. you? in love with him? he couldn't believe it. you were the exact opposite from him, you were the definition of perfection, while he was the definition of imperfection. he felt so undeserving of your love, so the thought of you having such feelings for him never really crossed his mind. he simply never dared to ask for anything like that because he all this time he thought he was way out of your league.
"i can't believe you were the only one who never noticed y/n's feelings when they were so obvious." that was the only time when sanemi couldn't talk back to giyuu. words were stuck in his throat, suffocating him harshly. was he really the only oblivious one?
and then waves of regret mercilessly hit him like a truck, he started regretting every single moment he pushed you away whenever you tried to strike a conversation with him. he felt himself slowly drown in despair when he was cut off by giyuu's pat on his stiff shoulder.
"you better clear this up with y/n once she recovers. don't waste any more chances." and that was sanemi's wake up call. he tightly held your hand that night, with teary eyes and a heavy heart. sanemi was praying to God that you wake up safely so he could give you the proper apology you deserve and ask for your forgiveness.
fast forward to a month later and you finally had woken up from your deep sleep. the moment you opened your eyes you felt sanemi's strong arms tightly wrapped around your body, and you let yourself melt into his touch.
he broke the hug and tears fell from his red eyes onto his scarred cheeks, and you had no idea how painful it was to see him cry for the first time. it never occurred to you that he could be this vulnerable.
"i'm sorry, i'm so fucking sorry for everything, y/n. i should've noticed your feelings earlier, i should've acted quicker. but i was a fucking fool thinking that my love for you was one-sided... i love you, y/n. very desperately at that."
this time, it was time for you to cry, in an incredible moment of relief and sweetness. for the first time in your life, you experienced tears of joy. you never knew that your heart could feel so light even though your tears were overflowing.
sanemi extended his hand and caressed your hot cheek, wiping away your tears gently. his gaze locked solely on you as if you were the only person in his world.
"i love you too, sanemi."
the mood felt too right at this very particular moment so without much thinking, you leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. causing the two of you to blush like crazy.
sanemi always imagined the feeling of your soft lips against his, but he could swear on his life that experiencing it actually happening felt much better than he could've ever imagined, despite it being quite short.
"since you didn't let me surprise you with my confession, i stole your lips in return." you never knew that you could be this smooth with your words, probably because you were acting in the heat of the moment. he smiled at your playful words as he found your behavior so incredibly adorable.
"so will you give me the honor of being your boyfriend, my princess?"
"of course, my beloved idiotic prince." you happily announced as he embraced you in his arms once again as you buried your face on the side of his neck.
and at that moment he made a promise to himself that he would never let go of you until his very last day.
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niningtori · 4 months ago
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cruel intentions | part two
part one
pairing: choi beomgyu x you
summary: in the wake following the revelation that your boyfriend, beomgyu, only dated you for a bet in order to get his rent paid, you're actually doing pretty well. on beomgyu's end? he can't say the same.
genre: romance, angst, melodrama, fluff
warnings: clichés everywhere
word count: 3.8k
notes: she's here! i fear that this might be super corny and somewhat abrupt but that's fine i think!
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beomgyu is not okay. he really, really isn’t. how could anyone expect anything other than that? it’s been a year since he saw you last, but he’s starting to believe that whoever said time heals all wounds was just blowing smoke up his ass. if anything, the longer he’s spent away from you, the worse his heart aches. that’s natural, he supposes, because you’re definitely the one that got away, and the fact that he drove you to leave only twists the knife. he wishes he could go back to the day he agreed to that stupid fucking bet and wring his own neck — maybe that'd talk some sense into his old self. but like you said all that time ago, he can’t. he even wishes he could go back to the first day of freshman year just so he could meet you sooner. that way, he could have been in your life and alleviated some of the stress and pain you always felt. but, and he cannot stress this enough, he can’t.
you may have blocked him on everything he can think of, but that doesn’t stop him from asking about you. luckily, taehyun made good on his intentions to get to know you better before realizing that you were the girl beomgyu had secretly been dating for months. as a good friend, taehyun declared you as totally off-limits, but that didn’t stop your all’s friendship from blossoming. as it is, your friendship with taehyun is only rivaled by your friendship with chaeyoung — a fact that she is all too aware of.
“when are you gonna stop beating around the bush and just get with him already?” she pouts.
“never,” you snort. “i told you, we’re friends and nothing else.”
“i know, i know, but i think he’d be good for you,” she insists.
“you’re only saying that ‘cause you’re worried he’ll replace you as my best friend, which he won’t, by the way,” you tease.
“you caught me,” she says playfully. 
truthfully, your friendship with chaeyoung has only strengthened after graduation. with the help of your therapist and a certain someone whose name you can’t bear to speak these days, you finally grew enough courage to tell her how you’ve felt like you were nothing more than her shadow since you were a preteen. you even told her about all of the times men (and women alike) only talked to you to get to her. to say she was horrified is the understatement of the century. after endless reassurances that you bore no ill will towards her and didn’t fault her for anything, she finally stopped apologizing. now, you two are closer than ever. 
“it’s just… i want to see you happy with someone,” she adds. she doesn’t have to end her sentence with  “again”, since you already know what she means: she wants to see you as happy as you were with beomgyu, again. except, for real this time. not for a bet or for fun.
“it’s okay, chae,” you say with a smile. “i’m happy as i am, i mean it.” and you do. working in your desired career field has helped you tremendously with income, and you’re actually able to provide for yourself and for your family without killing yourself with working overtime. you have so much free time, you're even able to date around a little bit. it never amounts to anything particularly serious, but it’s enough as it is. gone is the permanent storm cloud looming over your head and you’re finally able to breathe for the first time since, well, your relationship with beomgyu.
“i know,” she replies. “i just want my best friend to be even happier; is that so bad?” you roll your eyes good naturedly and she grins. 
“who knows? maybe i’ll meet someone tonight,” you muse, but you don’t really mean it. taehyun, or “tyun” as you affectionately call him, is having a get together at his place. he hinted at bringing some of his single friends, but you don’t expect anything to come of it. while it’s true that with the help of therapy and being completely honest about the nature of your inferiority complex with your best friend has helped boost your confidence, you never expect much from prospective romantic partners. you’ll never say it, but everyone knows it’s because of beomgyu.
“maybe. y’know, soobin is pretty cute,” she says with a nod, taking everything you say way too seriously. 
“yeah. he is.” 
-
while you have been to many, many events taehyun has invited you to, there has always been an unspoken rule that beomgyu would not be there. it seems that taehyun is able to perfectly juggle you two without having you all appear at the same place at the same time. that is, until you arrive at his apartment with a big smile and a 12-pack of beer and see the man who haunts you religiously sitting listlessly on taehyun’s couch. he doesn’t usually care enough to look up from his drink when new arrivals step foot through the door, but for some odd reason, he does when you walk in. it’s almost as if his truly supernatural intuition tells him to. unfortunately for you, his intuition is a pain in your fucking ass. 
when you meet eyes (lock eyes, really) you feel a pit of dread bloom in your stomach, threatening to swallow you whole. still, there’s a light fluttering of your heart that you wish to god you could deny, but it’s there, nonetheless.
you all stay in a deadlock for what feels like a lifetime before taehyun pulls you from it with a smile and hug.
“i’m glad you made it,” he says lightly. 
“of course, tyun,” you smile, successfully pulled out from your daze and back into the real world. it’s okay. you can do this. you’re a different person now that a year has passed. you’re mature enough to be in the same place as beomgyu. what you’re not mature enough for, though, is actually having to speak to him. luckily, you have no plans to do so now (or ever). 
beomgyu thinks… differently. 
when you’re standing in a quiet corner nursing a drink and wondering what the hell you’re still doing here, you almost miss the sound of feet shuffling towards you. your eyes lazily glance up and see beomgyu himself unsurely leaning against the wall next to you. 
“h-hey,” he says softly, cautiously. you look confused for a second, almost like you’re unsure if he’s addressing you, but his eyes look so earnest, there's no way he’s not. 
“hey?” you reply before fussing with your cup and watching the alcohol swirl around, threatening to spill over the rim of your solo cup.
“uh, how… how have you been?” he asks so nervously that it sounds like he’s surprised that you even responded. and he is. if he were you, he wouldn’t give himself the time of day. why would he? he doesn't deserve it.
“good,” you say with a ghost of a genuine smile. if he knew you less, he wouldn’t even be able to catch it. thankfully, he does know you, for better or for worse. his heart sings at the thought that you’re able to smile at him like you did before.
he waits for you to ask him how he is — that’d be the perfect segue into his apology — but you don’t. it’s like you don’t care to know, and any tune his heart was previously singing is strangled in an instant.
well, he supposes that he’s lucky that you’ve even said two words to him (two words in the literal sense that you’ve only actually said two words in total, but that's not the point). he’s even luckier that you actually seem to mean that you’re doing well. taehyun had told him as much, but it’s not nearly as effective as seeing you glowing the way you do with his own eyes. you look normal. you look happy. there was a point in his life where he thought that’s all he wanted, but he realizes he was wrong. he shamelessly wants to be happy, too, and he knows the only way he can do that is if he’s with you.
the air is awkward and heavy for a few minutes, but neither of you make a move to break it until you decide enough is enough. you purse your lips and are about to bid him goodbye so you can get home and ruminate on your very, very brief interaction, but he notices your movement and reaches out to grab your arm before he can stop himself. instinctively, you smack his hand away. not hard at all, more like a swipe than a smack, really, but he recoils as if you’ve just backhanded him.
“s-sorry,” you stammer. “it was just a gut reaction.” 
somehow, that makes him feel even worse. there was a time where his touch soothed you like nothing else, but now all it does is put you on your guard. 
“it’s fine,” he says with a forced smile, and your heart aches. “i was just gonna see if you wanted a ride home. i haven’t drank anything, so i just thought that… maybe…”
“oh, it’s okay,” you politely decline. “chae is going to pick me up.” he flinches at the name and as much as he wishes you couldn’t tell, you definitely do. 
“but i can take you!” he insists a little too desperately. “i just thought, you know, that we could talk or something,” he mumbles. 
“talk? about what?” you ask sharply. you begin feeling like you’re going to lose your temper. why is he making this so hard? it’s starting to piss you off.
“i—”
“if you’re going to apologize to me again, i don't want to hear it,” you sneer. you said you weren't mad at him and that you forgave him, which felt true at the time, but the more you started respecting yourself, the less patience you had for him. as you look at him, looking like he's every part like a victim in this ordeal, you realize that you’re angrier than you previously let on. “you know, i’ve thought more about what you did.” he looks like he’s just been kicked in the stomach, but you don't stop.
“and i’ve thought about what i would do for rent. i thought, ‘well, maybe if i were desperate enough for the money, i could do that, too’, and you know how desperate i was.” his lips tremble because he does know. he knows it all too well. “but i realized i couldn’t, and even if i could, i never would. the shame? the humiliation? i would never put someone through that, and i thought you would never, either, but i was wrong. i was wrong about you and the kind of person you are, or were, or whatever. and i thought, at the very least, you had enough decency to at least leave me the fuck alone, but i guess i was wrong about you again, as always.” you don’t mean for your voice to get so loud, but it does. each syllable is ripping through beomgyu like a punch to his gut, but he can’t find it within himself to defend his actions. all he can do is sit there and take it. 
devastated doesn’t even begin to encapsulate how beomgyu looks and feels, but you don’t really give a shit. you’re absolutely fuming right now, nearly shaking from releasing the anger you’ve felt for months, and he has the nerve to look like the one who’s hurt? what about you? what about how you felt when your boyfriend admitted he only dated you because he needed (more like wanted) the cash?
“babe…” you hear a familiar voice say. chaeyoung. she must be here to pick you up. your attention snaps from her to the rest of the room and you finally register that everyone has gone silent, all their stares directed towards you. embarrassed isn’t even the word. mortified is more like it. you awkwardly clear your throat and take one last scathing glance at beomgyu before grabbing chaeyoung’s arm and storming outside of taehyun’s place.
the ride home is silent — unsettlingly silent — until chaeyoung pipes up after a few minutes of driving.
“why don’t you just talk to him?” chaeyoung asks tentatively.
“what?!” you exclaim, whipping your head around to meet her gaze. 
“it’s just — i mean, i don’t think it would hurt anything if you tried,” she says cautiously, which is very, very much unlike her. 
“why? i thought you, of all people, would understand. you know what he did to me.”
“i’m not defending him, honey,” she coos, as if she’s soothing a child during a tantrum. “i’m always on your side. always.”
“then why are you saying i should hear him out? i thought you hated him!” you don't really know why, but you’re becoming more and more defensive as you speak to her. 
“i did hate him. i just think there’s more to it than that. why don't you talk me through how you’re feeling?” she suggests.
“i… i just don’t understand. i’m not who i used to be — i’m not some spineless doormat who lets people treat me like shit. don’t you think so?” you ask, sounding increasingly unsure about that sentiment to the point where it’s nearly laughable. 
“what does that have to do with hearing somebody out when you clearly want to?” she argues patiently.
“it’s just… it’s just not fair!” you exclaim. “it’s not fair how he used me. i had to try so fucking hard to rebuild myself after him.”
“as much as i love you, you and i both know you weren’t rebuilding yourself; you never had that foundation in the first place, and that’s not your fault, but it’s not beomgyu’s, either. it’s true that he treated you like shit, and you don’t have to forgive him for that, but how you felt about yourself was always so much bigger than him.”
you find yourself recoiling with each point she makes.
you hate how much she makes sense. 
“b-but still, i’m different now,” you argue, more like you’re convincing yourself instead of her. “i won’t let myself fall back into him like that.” 
“don't you trust yourself to make the right decisions? people change — you know that better than anyone. look, i’m not saying you have to or should do anything, but i think it’d be good for you to at least listen to him. you’re not doing yourself any favors by torturing yourself with ‘what if’s’ instead of just, well, talking to him.”
-
you think about it, and think about it, then think about it some more. you wonder what beomgyu could say to change anything he's done before realizing that it's impossible. but maybe chaeyoung's right, maybe he did change. does that matter, though? probably not, but you still find yourself wanting to know what he has to say. maybe you'll find it within yourself to finally let him go.
you unblock his number and, before you can think too much about it, you’re calling him. it doesn’t ring more than once before you hear the line connect.
“h-hello?”
“i’ve thought about it, and i'd like to talk.” 
“s-sure. uh, when?” he stammers.
“whenever.”
“i'll be there in 15,” he hurriedly says, as if wasting a single second will lead you to change your mind.
“okay,” you reply with a soft smile on your face, hanging up shortly thereafter.
12 minutes later, you hear a frantic knocking on your door. you open it to find beomgyu out of breath and looking incredibly disheveled. your lips almost curl up at his sorry state, but they don’t quite make it there.
“hey,” he says between pants.
you don’t respond, but you crack your door open further to let him in. he takes your cue and stands awkwardly in your living room, almost as if he’s afraid to actually touch anything. you don’t miss the way he takes everything in. some of the interior is different, but the bones of it are still the same. he doesn't know why, but the thought relieves him.
“so?” you ask after clearing your throat, effectively breaking the silence. he looks at you confusedly before seeming to remember what he’s doing here.
“r-right. i’m— i mean, i just wanted to explain,” he says meekly. 
“explain what?” 
“explain why i, uh, why i d-d—”
“dated me for a bet?” you finish, and mercifully so, because the words feel like nails when they try to leave his own throat.
“yeah. that,” he says, taking his hand and nervously scratching the back of his neck.
“mm,” you hum.
“i just want you to know that i’m sorry,” he blurts out before he has half a mind to stop himself. he knows it’s the wrong thing to say when he sees impatience flash across your features.
“we’ve established that.”
“oh. right,” he croaks, looking more and more crestfallen and lost by the second. 
“listen, beomgyu,” you sigh. “if you don’t have anything to say, i think you should just l—” 
“i do! i do have something to say!” he exclaims. you still seem agitated, but against all odds, you nod.
“back when heeseung and i, you know, made the b-bet, i knew it was wrong,” he says. “i knew it was wrong, but i still did it. i guess i just saw you as, like, a challenge or something.” you flinch at his words and cross your arms as if your insides will spill out if you don’t. he winces, but continues, anyway.
“but then i got to know you,” he quickly adds. “really know you. and i realized that you’re so much more to me than that. every day i spent with you taught me more about myself, and i didn’t like what i learned; but  i think even just being around you made me into a better person. i don’t know how to ever thank you for that, but i guess it’s worth a shot, so thank you. really.” you can’t help but feel your eyes water. you were that important to him? “and every day, i want to fucking strangle myself when i think about how much i hurt you,” he says, voice cracking at the end of his sentence. you take him all in, finally noticing the fatigue in his gaze, in his entire being. reminiscent of the way you looked nearly a year ago. instead of satisfaction at the thought that he finally knows how you felt, all you can feel is sympathy. you know how it feels to be the kind of tired even sleep can't pacify.
“i want you to know that you are the most important person in my life, a-and even if you don’t forgive me, it’s… well, i understand. but you are not a joke to me, or a challenge, or whatever. i guess i just want to tell you that i meant it when i said that i loved you, and i mean it when i say it now. because i do. i really, really do.” you are silent, trying to scan his eyes for any signs of deception or ill intent, but you can’t find any. his teary eyes and quivering lips tell you that he really means what he says. is that enough, though? can it ever be enough? maybe not, probably not, but as you stare at the tears that threaten to leave his eyes, you decide you’d like to try.
“okay,” you say. 
“o-okay? does that mean—” 
“it means we can try again. as friends. for real this time. but i’m not the same person i was. is that okay?” the tears that were once on the precipice of leaving his waterline have now begun to flow freely. fuck his stupid pride, you can have all of it if you just let him give it to you.
“y-yeah. me neither. i mean, i’m not the same person, either,” he babbles. 
“okay,” you say with a nod, ever-so-graciously wiping his tears with the pads of your thumbs, smile floating on your lips. and he just can’t help himself. 
“can i kiss you?” he asks. 
“that’s not what friends do,” you chastise playfully, “but alright. just this once.” and you’re still as kind and merciful as ever. he lets out a shaky breath.
slowly, he takes his trembling hands and pushes your hair behind your ear before leaning down and planting his lips against yours. you melt into the feeling, just like you always did when he kissed you, and you feel your heart fluttering in your chest. on beomgyu’s part, he feels like he’s in a dream. to be perfectly honest, he’s had many dreams like this since you left, but nothing compares to how sweet his present reality is. 
when he deepens the kiss, you let him. you want to say you’re unsure why, but you know it’s because you don’t want this moment to end. you two stay in each other’s arms for longer than you’d like to admit. who can blame you for it when nothing in your life has felt this right in such a long, long time? 
for beomgyu, when you two finally part, he thinks it wasn’t long enough, at all. but then, no amount of time could really satisfy him, anyway. still, when he looks into your eyes, he can’t help the unconscious pout that adorns his face when he realizes the moment is over. you can’t control the way you let out a soft laugh at it.
-
being friends with you is very, very hard. not because you're hard to be around or because there's anything wrong with you, but because, to beomgyu, you're so easy and comforting to be with. it’s all too familiar to beomgyu and he finds himself slipping into old habits such as holding your hand and tucking your hair behind your ear when you let it fall into your face. surprisingly, you let him do whatever he wants. whether that's because you missed his touch or because you just don’t want him to stop, you don’t care to figure out. when taehyun brings up the unnecessary intimacy between you two, you can’t help but blush and deny anything crooked going on, which beomgyu takes to heart every time.
he’ll wait for you to accept him, though. he’ll always wait. 
and one night when you’re watching cheesy movies on your couch with him and you look down at your intertwined hands, his thumb unconsciously rubbing against your smaller one, you realize you don’t want to deny him. 
“beomgyu?” you whisper, drawing his gaze from the screen.
“yes?” he asks, attention fully on you like a puppy ready to listen to whatever you say.
“you don’t have to wait anymore.”
-
notes pt. 2: yeah sorry if this is the corniest thing u have ever read... my fault!
permanent (sfw only): @zzhyuu @defnotleee
permanent taglist (sfw/[n]sfw): @my313 @superbbananananana @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @midwinterblizzard @everythingvirgoes @sooberryworld @20-cms @inkigayocamman @hyueika @boba-beom @vicurious28 @blossommi @lickingan0rchid @katsukis1wife @binniebakery @notevenheretbh1
series taglist: @vixensss @dejavu-jun @gyuchubss @missychief1404 @hihello-pinky @dojdcmidcmkmfekdvmkrkmvvrm
*bold names could not be tagged
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wosoamazing · 7 months ago
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Diabetes
Summary: You join arsenal and move in with Beth and Viv, you're nervous how everything will go, but ultimately it was perfect
Warnings: Diabetes, Hypoglycaemia, Glucagon shot, let me know if anything else.
A/N: Just a bit of a cute fluffy fic, I tried to get everything right medically but IDK if it is perfect. I hope you like it. If I did get something wrong let me know. Also as always happy to do part 2s if requested but pls add some detail on what you want to see.
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You were originally going to move in with Leah however the Medical Team said it would be best for you to live with two people, so you moved in with Beth and Viv, you were very nervous as to how they would perceive you, and whether they would be accommodating of your diabetes or not. You knew the medical team had discussions with them and that the club had forced them to do the emergency training for really bad lows and highs, what you didn't know was that they asked the club if they could find them some more training courses, they had done just about everyone single one, from how to use a Dexcom and an Omnipod as these were the devices you used, to how to live everyday life with diabetes. 
So when you turned up to their house you were very surprised to see some snacks sitting out on the bench, each with a piece of paper next to them, with the amount of carbs in them. They had really gone out of their way to help you settle in and make your life easier.
“Um, we have something to show you.” Beth said, kind of hesitant, you followed them over to a cupboard, “Um, it might be a little silly but this is for you,” she said as she opened the cupboard. It was empty other than some shelves, and draws, some organisation baskets, a mini fridge and a basket full of lollies. “There are some juices in there, we didn’t know what flavour you liked so we bought a pack of each, if you don’t like a flavour that's okay, we also got you these, they are all 15g of Carbs each, um but we can buy anything else you want or prefer, and um we thought you could put all of your supplies in here so they are organised and there is even a label maker so we can label the draws and stuff if you want oh and this is for you I suppose.” She said as she picked up a phone, it was a brand new iPhone 15 “it's more for the club, they were originally going to by you a android but we told them you wouldn't use it so yeah, the idea is we connect it to you sensors as like an additional device, so that everyone has access to your levels, so like at night we will keep it beside our bed so if anything happens we are alerted and during games the medical staff will have it and during training I think Kelly is mainly going to have it.” you nodded knowing you couldn't speak, the kindness of both women, and seeing how much they more cared and were going to 100% help you caused you to become emotional you felt a single tear roll down your face, causing the pair to panic lightly “You could have a cupboard somewhere else if you wanted or we could show you, your bedroom, it's pretty bare but we had plans to take you shopping so you could decorate it and make it your own,” another tear roll down your face, “are you okay, did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong?” you shook your head “th-thank you” Beth pulled you in for a hug “it's nothing really” but it was something it was everything, it was perfect. You spent your day moving in. 
You set up the cupboard first, you drew a plan of where everything was going to go, detailing it before everything started to get put into the cupboard. Your plan worked very well and the cupboard was very organised and practical. Viv thought it was quite cute, she was going to like this side of you very much. Once you had set up the cupboard you got to go shopping, first you went to the homemaker centre, buying some bedspreads, pillows, and decorations from multiple different shops, to make more room in the car you had to do a pit stop at home, chucking it sll through the front door, before heading back out for lunch, it was the first time Beth and Viv had experienced eating out with Diabetes, well even just eating and diabetes. You were very well practised at it, and helped Beth and Viv learn, showing them how you did everything, you taught them how to estimate carbs, but that differently needed practise on their end, you also showed how you can either your phone or your pod controller to set up the insulin delivery and you even pricked their fingers to test their levels for fun, you liked how they weren’t over cautious about it and how they weren’t treating you differently, and also the fact that they didn’t see it as annoying, really you just liked everything about them. You then went to IKEA to get a desk, a chest of drawers and some other items for your bedroom. Once you got home you set up your room, you were putting your clothes away when you were interrupted by Beth and Viv calling you down for dinner.
“Stuffed capsicums!” You yelled as you walked into the kitchen.
“Inside voice,” “Vivvy, it’s cute, your parents told us they were one of your favourites and we thought after the lunch we had today they would be a good choice, how many do you want?”
“Two please, thank you,” “you’re welcome, if you want we can sit on the couch and watch a movie.” you nodded your head before making your way over to the couch.
-
“Come in,” Viv said after you knocked on the door, her face dropped when you opened the door and she saw your red puffy eyes, and tear stained cheeks. You had been crying because you were so relieved and happy, and you wanted to thank them again.
“Kleintje, is everything okay?” Viv asked, causing Beth to pop her head out of the bathroom mid teeth brushing, the sight of you caused her to quickly move back to the bathroom rinsing out her mouth before pulling you in for a hug.
“T-thank you, for everything, it was perfect, you didn’t have to do any of it”
“Of course Kleintje,” Viv walked over to the two of you joining in the hug.
“We want you to feel welcomed and comfortable, it is now your house too. But please if you need us for anything at all you can come wake us up, our door is always open.” 
“Figuratively, not literally” you giggled slightly at Viv’s comment.
“Let's all go to sleep. Hey. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow” Beth said.
_____
Your second day was a training day, you Beth and Viv arrived early, as you had a few meetings, the first one was with Jonas and Kelly, about everything but also your diabetes, then the medics and some other people, Beth and Viv came with you to all of them. As you sat in the tactical session, you sipped on your apple juice popper as you listened intently, trying to ignore Beth and Steph’s talking, you were one to think tactics were a major part of the game, something else Viv would come to like. You then had a short gym session and then it was lunch, everyone was wondering what it was going to be, you already knew but decided not to tell them, you had been given the menu for the week, to select some things that you would want, so that they could make up a plate for you, ensuring they could tell you the exact amount of carbs. You walked in to find your plate sitting on the bench next to all the other food, it was a chicken burger, on wholemeal bread rather than a burger bun, you also had some snacks. There was a piece of paper next to it that had your name on it and the amount of carbs in each item, including each item of the burger. You picked up your plate and walked over to Beth, who pointed to the table she usually sat at, so you sat down there, waiting for her and others to join you, Kelly soon walked in with your kit, which you accidentally forgot at the meeting, you took it from her gratefully and she told you what would be happening in training so you had some idea of how much you needed to adjust your insulin. You picked up your phone and checked to see what it said your sugars were at, your phone said your sugars were at 90 which was perfect considering your target range was between 80-100, you were unzipping your kit when some of the team came to sit down, Beth sat next to you, Steph, Katie, and Caitlin also sat down. You pulled out your lancing device and pricked your finger, using your metre to confirm your reading before putting the units you needed for the burger into your pod controller.
“Do you mind us asking?” Katie questioned what you were doing.
“Um, I have diabetes, I was diagnosed when I was two, but it means that I have to manually control my blood sugars. My body doesn't do it at all, so I have to calculate the insulin I need for when I eat," "Right,” she nodded her head.
____
You had a few hiccups with your diabetes since living with Beth and Viv, but nothing major, however that was going to change. It was the 60th minute and you felt your body start shaking, the medics hadn’t called a paused or called you over and even thought you felt funny at half time your levels were normal, if anything slightly high, but you knew you were low, not only was your body shaking, but your brain hurt and felt foggy, you were also struggling to not fall over. You knew you needed to get off the pitch soon, before you passed out. A corner gave you the perfect opportunity to tell Beth you were low, you walked up to her, she looked at you confused and concerned.
“L-Low” you managed to say to Beth before you collapsed forward on her, she lowered you to the ground and the ref immediately blew the whistle, the medical team was on the pitch immediately, players from both teams were starting to form a huddle around you, trying to protect you from the media.
-
They were checking your sugars, as Beth got a Glucagon shot ready, she was ready to go when she got the nod of approval from the medics. Beth injected the shot into you and you were immediately rolled onto your side by the medics, waking up just moments later, in a panicked state, sitting up. 
“It’s okay, you passed out from being low, we had to give you a Glucagon, but it’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” Beth said as she rubbed your back.
“S-sta-stay?” you managed to get out eyes wide open with fear.
“Go with her, I’ll tell Jonas,” Beth nodded.
Viv met you and Beth in the medical room, she sat on a chair while Beth sat on the bed with you, you were given some gummy bears as well as an apple juice popper, to try and elevate your levels, you were still shaky and sweaty but your vision was completely clear and the medics and paramedics cleared you, which meant you didn't have to go to the hospital, but Beth and Viv had very strict instructions to take you to the hospital if certain things happened, such as seizures, loss of consciousness and others. 
“Do you want to go home now Kleintje?” you nodded as you ate a gummy bear.
_____
You were very nervous for your first camp, for how the staff would handle your diabetes but more so the team. The last game you played for Arsenal was the one you passed out during. You visited your endo after that incident and he had recommended putting tape over your sensor and pod when you played. The sensor had slightly pulled out during your arsenal game and so it wasn't actually reading your blood sugar.
It was your first training session and Beth had helped you, with the supervision of the medical team, put tape around your arms covering your sensor and pod, it was so you could get used to the feeling of it before your first game. You weren't required to have tape over your sensor and pod during training as you had frequent breaks which you could be checked during.
-
As you warmed up with Lauren Esme and Niamh, Ella and Alessia walked over to you.
“Why do you have tape on your arms?”  Ella asked. “Ella you can't just ask that” Mary said as she walked over with Beth, who had overhead the question, so she stood behind you placing her hands on your shoulders. “You don't have to tell them.” Beth whispered in your ear, you did want to tell them but you weren't sure you wanted to tell them right now.
“Oh um,” you were saved by Sarina calling the team over. While Sarina talked one of the medics came over to you, she handed you the phone and you saw your reading, being nodding and sticking your hand out to her, hoping that somehow in the non contact warm up the sensor had moved and that reading wasn't true, as if it was you most likely weren't going to get to do training this morning. You were handed a small container filled with 6 sour worms which told you the reading was true, you opened the container and started to eat them while Sarina kept talking.
“Why don’t we get sour worms?” Ella whined.
“Because you’re not special enough.” you inform her, causing everyone to break out into laughter.
“I like her,” Millie said as she high fived you. Sarina ignored all the commotion, she was obviously used to it and just continued talking. “Y/N could I just talk to you quickly?” she said as you and the girls started to disperse, you nodded and walked over to her.
“Sorry Sarina. I didn’t mean to-” “No, that's not what I wanted to speak about but I appreciate the apology. I wanted to talk to you about telling the girls, is it something you would like to do?”
“Um, yeah I think, I just don’t know how to tell them and like I don't want them to think of me differently”
“That's okay, I think sooner rather than later would be better, maybe today during dinner? During the announcements. Becky could help you, or even Beth or anyone you wanted, I could even just tell them and we wouldn't need to discuss it if you wanted.”
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ginevrapng · 1 year ago
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you're alone with james in his room, lying in his bed and playing with his hair while he's laying his head on you. you've always loved playing with his hair and he's always loved you playing with it, he finds it relaxing and his hair is so silky and soft.
one of the many perks of him being head boy is that he has a separate room so he doesn't have to dorm with people anymore. he doesn't think there's a problem with sharing a room with his friends but when you used to come up to his room to spend time with him someone else would always be there talking to you, stealing your attention. he could handle when remus or sirius brought people back for the night with simple silencing charms and closing of the curtains but it was a different story when he wanted to see only you and instead you included everyone in the conversations you were having, you might have even ended up on one of the others bed. he wanted you all to himself. now that he's head boy he's gotten his wish and he gets all your attention.
james is so comfortable he could fall asleep. with the combination of you playing with his messy hair, him getting to feel your warmth and your cute squishy tummy underneath his head, he's in heaven. there's no place he'd rather be than with you.
you can tell that james is close to falling asleep due to him starting to talk less and when he does he does it languidly. "mmph, you're so comfy and soft."
you giggle at that, " 'm glad to hear it jamie. y'know if you end up falling asleep i'll do the same."
as you say that you hear sirius swinging the door open, followed by remus and peter. james grumbles at the noise and turns his head away from the door so he's laying with his cheek pressed up against you and nuzzles you. "you should of knocked sirius," remus scolds him.
"oh, give over. it's not like they were doing anything," sirius retorts.
james grabs hold of your waist tightly, silently wishing for them to leave and him to be able to continue nearly falling asleep on you. "yeah sirius, next time knock." james' heart beats quickly and his breathing hitches. is this a confession? "we could of been talking shit about you or conspiring against you." james wants to feel let down that it's not a confession about how you might have been together in ways that would constitute a silencing charm and closing of curtains, but he can't, you're so cute, just so very you, he laughs and true smile appears on his face, where his eyes crinkle at the corners with cheeks raised high.
"you may have forgotten prongs, because obviously i so rudely interrupted you, but we've got a prank planned with snivellus right now," sirius looks at you both and smirks.
"i thought you've been more careful with your pranks recently guys. why are you pranking snape?" you sit up and look at them all.
"because, my dear, snivellus deserves it," sirius replies leaning against the wall. james narrows his eyes at the term of endearment sirius called you, it went unnoticed by you but sirius noticed and smirked again.
you roll your eyes at 'snivellus deserves it', snape always deserves it but james said he'd try and be more careful this year since he's been appointed head boy and remus is a prefect as well. they said if they're going to be pulling anymore pranks they'll be more discrete but you don't think it will be discrete with the way sirius is talking.
"it was james' idea actually," remus adds on.
james sits up and he comes to his own defence quickly, "he a thousand percent deserves it this time."
you cross your arms and look at him annoyance, "you're not going to tell me why this time are you?"
"no, but you'll have to believe me on this." you grab hold of his arm and pout before dramatically falling back on the bed. james grins again as he takes that as a yes and pulls you back up. "are you gonna stay here until after 'm back?"
you shake your head and shuffle closer to him, " it's getting late jamie, i'm going back to m' dorm."
he thought you'd say that but he also had hoped that you'd stay and he'd come back with you asleep in his bed. "alright love, see you tomorrow morning?"
you nod you head and kiss his cheek before getting up, "night everyone, night jamie. please try not to get into any trouble tonight."
"can't make any promises," sirius tells you before remus whacks his arm.
"we'll be fine," peter reassures you.
"yeah, i'll keep everyone in check," remus tells you.
they successfully carried out their prank that night without getting caught. that morning you see snape with bright pink hair and the marauders grinning brightly. james grins the most, payback for calling my best friend someone you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot broomstick when rosier asked if you liked her and were friends. like she'd ever, EVER want to be friends with you, like she'd ever, EVER even tolerate you.
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kaybreezy3000 · 6 days ago
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The Boy A Five Hargreeves / Female Reader Insert
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Created for an Anon request (rated mature for explicit sexual content)
Warnings: 18-yr old Five, Lots of Smut, Five being soft and also not, CIA setting but with none of the other things happening from season 4
Anonymous asked:
will you do one or just some scenes with Five being soft with a girl he's falling for? Like first kiss stuff or other more intimate things between them? Or any stuff with him letting his guard down for someone for the first time- not with Lila please. Explicit or not explicit. Anything like this. Ty:⁠-⁠*
(For those of you who are awesome and have read all my stuff before this little smut filled story, you might notice some similarities in this one to some things my 16-year-old version of Five went through in 'Number Five and the Girl.' No worries this is much different, but I thought I'd mention it because so much of what I've written already could have filled this request, so I borrowed some ideas from hot little moments I'd sort of done before to add some fun to this Five's adventure.)
Note~This quarter end treat is broken into 5 parts of smutty progression-Your Welcome😂
The Boy
Part One: The Push
Like you had been for the last two months since Five had been assigned as your mentor and you started training with him, there you were, attached at the hip.
Walking down the hall towards your room at the CIA training facility, instead of him treating you to his endless cold glares and his usual lines of belittling bullshit, Five didn’t seem to mind as much that he’d been paired with you. Today, he seemed more than okay with it as indicated by the way he had been eyeing you up like he wanted to do much more than spar with you while the other recruits made jokes about you kicking his ass and him being not that much bigger than you.
After asking him if he’d like to come back to your room so you could change into something warmer and then go get something to eat together somewhere better than the CIA building’s cafeteria, like he’d never done before, Five followed you, but then he was hesitating at the threshold of your room.
Playing the gentlemen and your superior, you could tell that he wasn't going to budge, so you reached out and pulled him in, shutting the door behind him. Five Hargreeves was not the type to be led by anyone, and before this he had been acting like he loathed you, so him giving in so easily was very surprising, but also very encouraging.
You had felt the tension building between you all day. On the outside, Five seemed calm and in control like always, but his eyes gave him away. The way he looked at you told you a much different story when it came to him wanting to keep things strictly professional.
Feeling braver, you started thinking.
Earlier, while you were with him in training, Five and the other agents were talking about how most altercations aren’t the type where you get to stand and face each other, and even worse, during the fight, you usually both end up on the ground where things get dirty. They all said you needed to practice more realistic scenarios, but Five, as your assigned partner, didn’t seem too keen on putting his hands on you in any way that may have been considered too rough, but he also didn’t want to let anyone else touch you.
To your shock, as Five braced himself behind you, directing you to get out of his chokehold, his embrace was more like that of a lover than an attacker, his soft breaths tickling your ear from behind as they cascaded down your neck. When he ordered you to drop to your knees, your mind going all sorts of places, other than where it should have been, you did as you were told, throwing all your weight back into him.
Falling back, your body landing on top of him, he started laughing at you, and his laughter was almost just as alarming as his dimpled smile that had been charming you anytime he had been willing to grace you with it over the last few weeks.
You had just crushed him, almost elbowing him in the dick, but the thing worrying you wasn’t his nuts. You were falling for him-hard.
On your walk back to the dorms, giving Five a hard time about constantly treating you like you were made of glass, you said, “Why not start practicing more realistic takedowns? Why are you handling me with kid gloves?”
Five gave you one of his adorable side smirks as he leaned in, whispering in your ear, “I can be harder on you if you really want, but I’d prefer to do that with you without an audience of assholes.”
Hmmm? You were alone now?
Five was looking around, taking in the general chaos that was the room you’d been sharing with one of the other trainees. His eyes stopped on your bed.
“Sorry. It’s really messy in here,” you said.
Five looked back up. “No, it’s not bad. Don’t apologize. You should have seen the messes my siblings made of things in the house I grew up in. This is nothing.” He laughed nervously.
“Didn’t you say you had five brothers and one sister? That’s a lot of male mess going on. Where was it you said you grew up again?”
Five didn’t answer. Instead, he sucked in his lower lip, wetting it as he looked around again. He glanced over at the few things you were allowed to keep with you while in training. He swallowed. He was staring at you so intently. He was so hard to read sometimes, and this was definitely one of those times.
Now he was making you nervous.
He cleared his throat as his lips turned up again. “I like working with you," he said, casually tucking his hands in his pockets. "A lot actually."
Five had no idea how handsome he was with those animated expressions of his, or how cute he was right now, awkwardly flirting with you. Not wanting to break the magical moment that was happening, you decided to flirt with him right back.
“So, you wanted to see how I handle a little groundwork, but in private?” you dangled while raising both your eyebrows in question.
He shrugged his shoulders while tilting his head to the side. “It’s not a bad idea if you want to be able to defend yourself.”
There was an air of the usual superiority in his tone that was so irritatingly him.
You scrunched your nose. “I think I can defend myself pretty damn well already, Mr. Perfect. I’m warning you now, I know how to get down and dirty. You are the one that’s the closeted softy.” You came forward, backing him closer to your bed as you moved your hand down his arm until your fingers brushed the underside of his left wrist.
Five visibly tensed, as if you’d touched him in a painful way, but there was no sign outwardly why that was. Looking down at the flawless patch of skin under your fingers, he came back to himself. “You're allowed to believe that, but it doesn’t mean you’re right,” he taunted, smiling back at you innocently.
Without warning, you pulled him closer. With a quick spin, you twisted his arm behind him. Then, throwing all your weight into it, you pushed Five on your bed.
He landed on your blankets face down, and you quickly leaped on top of him, pinning his arms behind his back to restrict his movement before he could retaliate.
“Impressive,” he huffed, laughing as he lay there, pretending to be vanquished.
You knew he wasn’t that easy to take down. He let you get him, but you were enjoying the moment anyway.
Your victory didn’t last long, despite your best efforts. Five effortlessly ripped his arms free of your hold. Then he sprang up from the bed, sweeping you up with him before nailing you down on the mattress.
In one swift motion, he had you pinned with your arms above your head. He lay over you, forcing your legs wide with his knees.
“You always need to be alert and ready for anything," he scolded. "Things can change in the blink of an eye. If you let your guard down, you may find yourself in a position you don't want to be in."
The way he was schooling you, you knew he was genuinely trying to teach you something, but you were also surer than ever that he was testing you in a whole different kind of way that had nothing to do with your training.
“Oh, I don’t know about not wanting to be in this situation..." You gave him a playful wink, one you knew would fluster him. "The view is not too bad down here. For all you know, I may have wanted to be in this position. Maybe it was all part of my master plan. Did you ever think of that, smarty pants?” 
Five’s cool smile melted into something feral looking.
All at once he secured both your wrists in one of his hands. Then he painstakingly slowly ran the fingers of his other hand down the sensitive underside of your exposed left arm.
“Oh FFffff! Five! Ss-stop that's, please sto-” you laughed and gasped, wriggling like a manic as you tried to escape his maddeningly gentle touch.
He didn’t relent. His eyes darkened as he looked down at you. You had nothing on but your cropped workout top and equally tight spandex shorts and he was in his usual gym clothes of athletic shorts and a black t-shirt. You’d been training together like that for hours, but all of sudden your lack of normal skin covering clothing was making this feel much different than if you’d been sitting together with him helping you study while he was dressed in his signature three-piece suit and you in your more female version of business attire.
You were in your bed of all places, and that look in his eyes, and the feeling of him pressing himself on you the way he was!
He looked so unbelievably hot and there you were laughing so hard you could hardly breathe. “Seriously, that tickles!”
“Awww,” he drawled, while looking fake sorry for you. “Ever hear that saying, you reap what you sow? I felt you trying to get a rise out of me with those evil girl talons of yours. You made me look like an fucking idiot today on the mats when you dug your fingers into my ribs, and you know damn well what you were doing had nothing to do with self-defense.”
Your frantic pleas to make him stop only seemed to spur him on more, because after that, his hand danced along the length of your exposed side, then down your quivering stomach.
“Five Hargreeves…I think they are right, you don’t fight fair,” you accused in between breathless panting for him to stop.
“Doesn’t matter if you fight fair. It only matters if you win.” The sultry tenor of Five’s voice as he leaned down, humming against your skin, only furthered your inability to think.
To add to your shock, he began peppering kisses along your shoulder, then up your neck to your widely gaped jaw.
Five was not affectionate. He was dangerously smart, aloof, and even scary sometimes, but with that maneuver, he’d just proved that there was more to him than the closed off person he wanted people to stay away from.
His gentle fingers trailed across your abdomen, sending shivers through your entire body. Perhaps feeling you struggling to hold yourself together, or maybe just because he was an arrogant shit, Five suddenly had to bury his loud burst of laughter into your neck, and with it, he let his nose brush against your skin in such a loving way it made you squirm all over again.
“Doesn’t really seem to bother you…me not fighting fair and all,” he breathed. He smiled against your neck as he brought his lips back down to your shoulder.
You were pretty sure he said something else after that, but for the life of you, you couldn’t concentrate enough to register what it was, not when his teeth were lightly nipping at the bottom of your ear and his fingers were moving back up, his thumb grazing over the mounded fabric of your top.
As he let out the quietest moan from the feel of your breasts under his hand, you couldn’t help it either as you hummed in approval while your body reactively rocked up against him.
As soon as you did that, Five abruptly pulled back from his onslaught of kisses, his hand lowering as he attempted to shift himself so he wasn’t lying on top of you as much. He looked down at you, his expression unreadable as he sucked in a breath, as if needing the extra air to voice what was on his mind, but instead of coming out with it, he grimaced and looked away, seeming to think better of it. 
Your faces were still so close, so you rose up on your shoulders, as much as he’d let you, clearing the gap. You quietly said his name, wishing he would just look at you again. It sounded like a plea, and it was.
Five’s lips collided with yours. He released your hands, while at the same time pivoting his weight on both his forearms so he could better control how much of his weight he was pressing into you.
His kiss was urgent, and wild, and beautifully sloppy, like he’d never done this before. 
He was becoming more and more agitated the more he let himself explore your mouth with his breathlessly trembling lips. His breathing was becoming heavier, and you could tell he wanted to move his hips into your pelvis more than he was already rocking and digging them against you.
It must have felt so good to him as is though, because he was getting hard, and the young man, who for the last few months was never the type to show any sign of vulnerability, actually whimpered, and holy fuck was that hot.
Shocked by his own verbal moment of weakness, Five pulled away again, but just as fast, you placed both your hands on the sides of his face and steered him back. Kissing him softly, you let your tongue run along his lower lip.
He shut his eyes. His expression looked so pained. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” he whispered. “I am not who you think I am. If you knew all the horrible things I have done, you wouldn’t look up to me the way you do.” He opened his eyes. “On top of all that, I am way too old for you.”
Sure… Okay. All this had to be because Five was just worried that he was your mentor and that this kind of relationship wasn’t something your superiors would be okay with. That made sense, but…
You smiled, then said, “Oh my God, Five! Who says I look up to you? And I am older than you, you self-absorbed jerk who apparently never bothered to read my bio.” 
With that and his exceptionally sour expression that followed your declaration, you started laughing at him, and the entire situation because you were older. Only by a year, but really…What was he talking about?
Five opened his mouth a few times while trying to figure out a retort, so you came at him before he could, pulling his bottom lip with your teeth with kittenish feistiness, and that seemed to rattle him like nothing else had so far, and it sent him coming back at you like a man being torn apart from the inside out.
After that, Five started to let his tongue and teeth explore more freely and it was clear that was something he had wanted to do, only like all of this, he hadn’t been sure of it being okay until you’d pushed him and made the first move.
He always smelled good. You knew that before, but wow. Five tasted like what you'd think comfort would taste like if it had a taste; like the warmth of good coffee mixed with an old-fashioned dinner mint. He was the embodiment of pleasure, and his lean body was built to move in more ways than you’d seen him work it while in the gym when beating the shit out of the other much larger agents.
Having your hands free to do as they wished, you dropped them both down under Five as he lifted up just a little, moving his dick region so it wasn't rubbing as much between your legs as it had been.
You let the tips of your fingers drift down the length of his tight stomach muscles, moving them with a feather-light touch. You inched them along slower and slower after you passed over his navel, going up under his shirt, following the thin trail of dark hair that led from there, down into his shorts.
Five's hands clenched in the sheets at your sides as he fought to hold still. Every muscle in his abdomen shuddered under your touch, quivering in anticipation as you played with the dangling strings that were meant to keep his shorts around his waist.
He pulled away from your kiss to catch his breath, burrowing his face against the side of your neck. “Holy Shit…” he breathed, in between his wet kisses. His body, involuntarily, it seemed, dropped lower, his torso falling flush against the heat between your legs again for just a moment before he quickly readjusted his hips on the mattress next to you.
Before he could fully right himself by pulling back up on his elbows and roll away from you completely, you brought your hand back up to his neck, your fingers lacing through his incredibly soft hair. "It felt good, don’t stop," you whispered.
Looking utterly broken; he began kissing your neck, moving upwards again as he simultaneously started to move his shaft against the side of your leg.
Five nipped at your ear harder than he had been before and the sensation had you digging your nails across his back, and that seemed to excite him even more. In a frenzy, he started to run his tongue along, first the shell of your ear, then anywhere he could get at, and based on the noises he was making, he liked how you tasted.
That boy was good, and not just with a gun while at the shooting range. The ache between your legs was becoming more apparent with each shameless thing he did to you.
When Five satisfied himself with marking your neck, he moved to your collarbone. It felt like he was studying every inch of you with his mouth, gauging your reactions as he went. He first kissed, then licked, then sucked gently along the rolling plains of your rapidly rising and falling chest. It felt so amazing that you had to dig your feet into the bed to contain yourself.
"Fuck," he groaned as he threw his leg over yours and repositioned himself fully on top of you.
You whined as his hardened length nudged between your legs, then cruelly moved away. Thankfully, the sound of your discontent seemed to make Five bolder, and he did it again, then moved his mouth lower, applying kisses along the edges of your workout top, playfully pulling it up with his teeth.
Your toes curled as you squirmed under him in anticipation, and so far, he hadn't even used his hands for anything other than to hold your wrists above your head!
You were both oblivious to the world going on around you when suddenly you pulled your attention away from him because you thought you heard something. Five must have heard it too because all at once he stopped what he was doing. His entire body froze.
“Ahem,” coughed a voice from over Five's shoulder.
You leaned up, peering over him. Even before seeing her, you knew who it was.
“Hey…” you offered weakly, not bothering to hide your embarrassment from your roommate because there was no point. 
She was already smiling like a total goofball, and her expression grew bigger and happier as she took in the extent of your blushing state and that of your equally turned-on partner in crime.  
Loving it, she mouthed, “Is that who I think it is?”
The slow shake of your head confirmed her suspicions. She cleared her throat obnoxiously, then said, “It’s about time you guys got past all your staring at each other with puppy dog eyes of disgusting longing.”
With his face still buried against your neck, Five let out the tiniest sound, like that of the sad little puppy she’d just compared him to, then he growled, “You have no idea what you are talking about because I have never looked at anyone like that.”
“Er, whatever you say… So, ah…sorry guys. I will just, ah…go,” your friend said as she jerked her finger and thumb back towards the hall, but she was still dawdling, enjoying the site of Five, laying there still as could be, trying so hard to pretend he wasn’t just busted while trying to dry fuck you like you were both horny teenagers that were still in high school.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” Five groaned, as he started moving off of you.
Your roommate was leaving at that point, but hearing Five's frustrated oration, she turned back around, shooting you a huge cat just ate the canary grin before quietly shutting the door behind her.
Next to you, Five tipped his head back as he stared up at the ceiling. It looked like he was praying it would fall on him.
He sighed exasperatedly. “Can’t I ever get a break?”
It was obvious Five was upset about getting walked in on because this could mean his job, but you also knew that he had to be upset because he’d just totally been cock-blocked, and if he hadn't been, you weren’t sure what would have happened or how far things would have gone. 
Thinking of the impressively engorged package he was dealing with in his sexy gym shorts, you rolled over, facing him, your lower lip pouty. “Ah, yeah… So....that sucked,” you said, stating the obvious as you tried to suppress your giggle.
Five just stared at you and groaned again. By the look on his face, you were pretty sure he was ready to die, and you weren’t about to let that happen, so you were about to suggest a different kind of sucking, but first you thought you should address his other big concern.
“Hey, don’t worry," you said, laying your hand on his tensed forearm. "I swear she won’t say anything. She already knew I had a huge crush on you. Lots of girls here would die to be in my shoes because that would mean they would get to enjoy your scowls and contemptuous comments all day like I do.” You tried a reassuring smile, getting serious. “Really, she’s trustworthy.”
What you said seemed to help. At least it brought a smile back to Five’s tightly pursed lips.
“You are full of shit,” he shot back, not believing you, but about which part, you weren’t sure. “But I suppose it doesn’t matter,” he continued before you could insist that you weren’t lying about any of it. “If she says anything, I am done, but at least I got to hump you for three minutes, so that was totally worth throwing away five years of my hard work to get myself in this pathetically lame position that I’ve waited a lifetime to totally fuck up.”
He threw a hand over his face, then back into his chocolatey mess of hair.
Somehow, Five managed to sound both irritated, but also so funny, which was just one of the many things that made you like him so much. The light in his eyes was coming back and he hadn’t tried to touch you again, and he'd also not let up on the blanket he was using to cover himself. It was obvious your little moment with him was over, and he was doing his best to calm himself down, but something else seemed off.
You frowned, but you weren’t mad at all because you mostly understood why he’d said all that. You’d feel awful if he was let go because of you. Everyone knew that Five was amazing at his job. He was a bona fide genius the CIA had found at a very young age while he was crushing his studies to get through his PhD. His being a fully contracted agent in the CIA at so young was unheard of.
Compared to him, you were only there as an intern and had years ahead of you to actually get hired and prove yourself the way he already had.
Once you managed to control your brain again, you finally responded, and stopped staring at him like you wanted to be devoured by his perfect mouth.
You took your hand off his arm, then quietly said, “I suppose you’d rather not get lunch with me now?”
His eyes narrowed and he cocked his head in that way of his. “I suppose, it would be better if we didn’t,” he said with eyebrows furrowed slightly, indicating he was upset about something, but if it was about getting busted and potentially losing his job or something more, you couldn’t tell.
“That’s it then…? That is unless you want to stay," you offered, then purposely glanced at your bedding still bunched to his crotch. "You could show me a few more moves?” 
After a few seconds, Five cleared his throat and grinned, making your heart skip a beat. “We better not do that again,” he said, then he looked away. “You go first. I just need a minute. I’ll lock your door on the way out.”
“Okay,” you replied, your heart sinking through the floorboards.
"Okay," he agreed.
He lay there on his side, head propped up on his arm, you threw on a baggy sweatshirt and some jogging pants. After covering yourself, you turned. “See you later?”
“Sure,” he said, still staring off as if you weren’t even there.
Chapter Two: 
Five Said No, But Morning Glory Says Yes
Right on que, Five woke up with his dick harder than an oak.
He was lying there on the couch in his office, having fallen asleep while working late. Back when he’d started at the CIA, not even done with college yet, he often did this, but that usually involved drinking too much then passing out.
That kind of behavior was nothing new for him, but he hadn’t done that in a while. Relieved that he didn’t have the brain throbbing start of a hangover nagging at him, he kept his eyes closed tight, like he could get his dick to go back to sleep if he willed it.
He tried to ignore it, he really did, but thanks to his physical age and the power of youthful hormones raging, his increasingly bothersome boner alarm proved impossible to turn off.
Taking a long, tired breath, then letting it out slowly, Five started mentally preparing himself for another wake and whack session to add to his already impressive record.
He couldn’t remember what he’d been dreaming about, only that you were together, and you were touching him down there or maybe he was touching you down there. Whatever it had been about, it didn’t matter, because once again, Five had woken up before he’d got off, and was ready to send forth his load into an innocent and unsuspecting piece of clothing, only he wasn’t at home, so he’d have to find something else nearby to catch his mess instead. Anything would do, even destroying the shitty plastic tree someone had put on the floor next to his couch.
“Fuck that Ficus,” he breathed. 
His hand flexed, ready to spring into action and get this over with, and in doing so, it rubbed along skin that was not his own. To his shock, his arm was laying over something warm and alive, and that had him immediately realizing the pressure pressed up against his hard-on was not from the couch cushion or one of the pillows.
Five never would have admitted it unless he happened to be using it for his job as a cover story while trying to fit in with other lunatics, but like so often, he was having trouble differentiating between reality and fantasy.
Seeing as how he’d woken up on more than a couple of occasions unsure if his dreams or nightmares were real or not, he couldn’t blame himself for being confused, not entirely, not when the main player in his fantasies was right there squeezed in next to him.
His eyes abruptly focused, taking in his surroundings, confirming what he already should have known. You had both fallen asleep while he was helping you study for your next round of exams, and there you were with him, lying on the couch in the darkness of his quiet office.
He had no idea how he ended up cuddled next to you the way he was, and even though Five had thought about it about a hundred million times since the incident in your room, things hadn’t started back up the way they had that day, and he believed it was for the best, and he’d said as much and you’d respected it, but that didn’t mean it had been easy for him.
Just being around you, doing nothing even remotely flirtatious or sexual in nature was making the tornado of butterflies in his stomach worse each day that he fought to stomp them into submission. There was no denying that, or the perpetual case of blue balls he had from watching you sashay around him in your short skirts and blouses with the top few buttons undone as if daring him to dive into your cleavage again.
He had already touched those perky pillows and he liked doing it way too much. Five liked everything about you. The way you challenged him even when he was being an insufferable jerk. The way you laughed.
Even more than all of that. Five loved the way you smiled at him like you didn’t smile for anyone else.
Being around you made him forget all the bad things, if even for just a while.
It didn’t matter. What he’d done was a mistake. Nobody could ever really care about him if they knew the truth, and you sure as hell wouldn’t believe him. You’d think he was crazy. He’d be fired and maybe even forced into psychiatric care.
It was better this way, but so much for his plan to shut this down, and so much for being good and keeping his hands off when you considered the situation he was in now. In hindsight, looking at the out-of-control horn-ball he had become in the last few weeks, Five knew that he should have scheduled a well-defined whack-off time as a part of his daily routine, then maybe this shit wouldn’t happen when he wasn’t expecting it.
That thought got him asking himself the question, When did I become such a perverted degenerate?
He remembered you reading, leaning back after a while, kicking your heels off. Sitting a few feet away, reading over a briefing Derek had given him earlier that day, Five waited for you to finish your review so he could quiz you again. He felt himself starting to doze off. He remembered how comfortable he was with you there with him. He just wanted to stay like that with you a little longer, with the smell of you filling his lungs, touching his things. He vaguely recalled trying to keep his eyes open and noticing that you looked very tired too.
Now there you were, his arm wrapped around you, laying over your hip, and his hand was in an area that normally he wouldn’t have dared let it venture. It was starting to come back to him each minute he was conscious, and he was almost certain that when he started to wake up, he was grinding his morning monster on your butt, and his hand was touching you between your legs in a very inappropriate way.
It wasn’t just a dream; he had been really doing that, or he was pretty sure he was.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Way to go, fucking creep, he mentally yelled at himself.
He had no right to, but Five had you spooned into him like you were his, and if you were awake, you were definitely able to feel his predicament, and also what he had been doing to you.
He shifted his weight, moving just a little, trying to give you some space and maybe if it was not too late, also try to save some face.
Just as he began to pull his arm off, you started stretching your legs, your feet twisting around his.
“Is it morning already?” you complained.
The smell of your hair filled Five’s lungs again and the pressure from you pushing back against him had his eyes popping wide.
If he had his powers still, he would have blinked away the second he’d realized where he was. That wasn’t an option anymore, but the instinct to do it was still eating at him like the ghost of a spark that kept trying to burst into a flame but couldn’t.
Five was panicking; he didn’t know what to do.
You shifted again, trying to move back, but he found he had nowhere to go. He was trapped between you and the back of the couch.
“I… Ah… It’s not morning yet. I’m sorry I woke you. I must have fallen asleep," Five stammered as he tried to sit up, using the arm under his small couch pillow to push himself up. "I’m going to just-"
You captured his hand as it started slipping over your hip. You pulled him back down and he found himself falling around you again, entrapped in the exact same position.
“You’re so warm, and your office is so cold. Please don’t go yet. I like you as my blanket,” you whined while pushing back, your firm curves warm against his even warmer erection.
Five went ram rod still at the same time you did.
“I am so sorry,” he quickly tried to say, but stopped at that because he found he had no other words that would explain what he’d done. Instead, he forced out the pillow from under his head and then buried his face in it, hiding from his shame like a total jackass.
The clock on his wall ticked for felt like an eternity, neither of you saying a word. You were clearly upset, weirded out, or god help him…Five didn’t know anymore.
Finally breaking the silence, you said, “Five, stop that. You don’t need to be sorry.”
Even though he was still under his shield, Five could tell by your tone that you were trying to console him. Of course, you were the one taking the highroad. Here he was the one almost 42 years older than you and you were the one being mature.
He took a deep breath, trying to clear his head, knowing he had to say something, but still not sure what would make the situation better.
“And to think," he started, "I was worried about what my boss would think if someone here found out about us and talked. It turns out I was worried about the wrong thing. This is so much more awkward and damning than that." He groaned into his shame pillow.
Five felt you move, your hands landing on the throw pillow, forcing him to let go. When he finally had the courage to open his eyes, he was met with yours, and even though it was dark, he could tell you weren’t mad. You had turned your body towards him, and your fingers were already playing with the ends of his hair at the nape of his neck.
Five felt like he was going to die, sure that he would if you didn’t stop touching him like that.
He was thinking about using his arm to cover his face instead of expiring. It was his only option since you’d thrown his pillow out of reach, but then he realized he may have needed more than just his arm to cover him because he could feel everything from his forehead to his chin burning bright red with humiliation. 
You grinned at him in that way he knew meant you were trying to hold back a laugh. “You know, Five... Nobody is talking doom and gloom about this other than you, and why do you think this is awkward?”
“Oh, I don’t know… because of Morning Glory here,” he joked, gesturing down to where the small throw blanket you had pulled with you had thankfully covered the area below his waist, but it didn’t really matter because he knew, and you knew, that he was still sporting a nice sized tent for the second time you’d been alone with him in a week.
You took claim of his hand, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, keeping your devil-may-care grin on your rosy lips. “Yeah…I don’t really think you can blame that all on it being morning. Unless that clock is wrong, it’s not even midnight.”
You very purposefully moved closer, and all at once, Five felt you press against the villain in his pants with your thigh and he accidentally let out a little puff of airy agitation in response.
“And this isn’t awkward. It’s flattering," you furthered, your sexy smile melting into something a bit silly as you added, “A healthy sexual appetite is nothing to be embarrassed about."
Your intentionally nerdy, sex ed teacher tone had somehow managed to sound even sexier than when you normally teased him, and holy fuck did Five love getting lectured by you you like that.
The dirty old man in him that was thinking about spanking you for trying to steal his role as the teacher didn’t know what to say. You were obviously trying to make him feel better for his little predicament, but he still felt like a creep. Getting morning wood while sleeping next to an extremely hot girl that was way out of your league was one thing, but touching her in her sleep, like that… 
 What the hell was wrong with me? That was not normal! Five privately scolded himself.
“I need to-" He didn’t finish, instead, Five swiftly pushed himself up, and as discreetly as possible made sure ‘woody’ was tucked down against his leg.
He started getting up, and you moved out of his way. He swung his legs to the floor and was about to stand, but he didn’t get any further than that because you quickly turned and swung a leg over his lap, your knees landing on either side of his torso, in effect ambushing him, and preventing his escape as your skirt flared out, covering his lap.
“Hey, not so fast. I am not mad at you, Five. I fell asleep too, so it’s not your fault. Maybe it happened again for a reason. I knew you were dreaming a few minutes ago, so don’t be freaked out about this or what happened the other day. It’s ok, I promise.”
Your fingers moved along his scalp, playing with his hair again. The look on your face was so sincere, but then it quickly changed to something more pensive and playful as you slowly licked your lip then continued. “And just so you know, even if you weren’t dreaming, I would have been ok with what you were doing. You can touch me however and whenever you want. I thought I made that known the other day. You were the one that said no more, not me.”
The more perplexed Five looked, the more devilish you looked. Your fingers dug in as they fell to his shoulders, pulling his shirt even tighter in your grip.
You leaned in and whispered in his ear. “I am so wet for you right now, I am more than ok with how that clever mind of yours works, but the question is, are you, and do you want me to stop trying to convince you how much I want you?”
The things you were saying and your soft breaths on his skin were making Five’s hands shake.
“Don’t stop,” he breathed, just as your lips brushed against his cheek and you began kissing him..
Both of Five’s hands latched on to your hips so fast it was like he wasn’t in command of his own body anymore. He felt like he needed something to hold on to, to ground himself, and his hole punch filled morals weren’t working.
It was so much all at once, with real lips on his, and you on his lap and the warmth of your sex so close to his painfully hard cock. Instead of thinking about how 'wet' you said you were, Five tried to distract himself by focusing on your mouth as it moved against his. You obediently opened for him as he urgently searched your lips with the tip of his tongue, pushing for entry. The second you gave, Five darted it inside, feeling the sweet, candy-like warmth that he was coming to know was simply the taste of you.
Beside himself already, Five moaned into your mouth.
Your tongue met his more excitedly after that, and you both pushed each other for more, hardly coming up for air.
You felt so good. What you were doing to him felt so good; it was like he was in another world, with nothing but the two of you.
It was like it was with Dolores, only not at all. That was survival. She was hard and cold. You were soft and warm, and she was him, and you were…fuck.
Dolores knew him. You didn’t.
Like before, Five knew this was wrong, but his hands slipped behind you anyway, pulling you closer as his hips rocked underneath you.
In moments of desperation, Five had held Dolores in his lap like this so many times, and done the same thing, only this was so much different. He could have lost himself completely in the feeling of you and been a very happy man, but his brain kept trying to reboot and intrude.
Even as his cock was getting a nice little ride, his brain was yelling at him to stop. 'Here you go again! This is so fucked-up, and this is obviously not going to help with your not so little problem, and what the hell are you doing? You’re going to ruin this for both of you!'
He pulled away, his breath coming way too fast.
“We shouldn’t do this… I…I can’t-” he whispered, but he couldn’t help it as he let his lips trail along your jaw, trying to repress his agonized growl.
You weren’t buying it, and he wasn't doing a good job selling it. Seeing where your hips were, it was obvious he was more than capable of doing this.
You softly laughed, your breath brushing his skin as your hands explored, first unbuttoning his fitted vest, then untucking his dress shirt, making his entire body quake with the simplest of touch as your fingers crawled up, exposing him, one small button at a time. 
Not used to being touched like that, Five pulled back, dropping his head as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to regain some composure. You weren’t having that either. You continued to caress his heated skin with your fingers moving dangerously close to his waistband.
Unlike him, your intentions were very clear as usual, but your voice came out raspy and sweet and questioning anyway, in total contrast to how you were so self-confidently seducing him. “Five?”
He hesitantly opened his eyes and looked up at you. Your cheeks were flushed, and your lips swollen from his kisses, your eyes full of worry.
“Why are you scared?” A crease appeared between your brows. “What you were doing was perfect and I want you to touch me. I wanted you to touch me all night,” you said, practically moaning your words.
Five was so fucking hard; it was almost more than he could take. All rational thought was gone.
When he came back up to meet you again, claiming your lips, you were ready and willing, tugging him closer with his loosened tie. Not satisfied with his state of undress, or with how you were so successfully dominating him, you quickly undid the knot and whipped the length of silk through his collar, throwing it over his head. You traced your nails down his torso with one hand and laced your fingers through his hair with the other.
Five met your advances, letting his hands float under your blouse, exploring the softness of your skin. When his fingers grazed just below your breasts, he stopped.
“Is this ok?” he asked with his mouth still brushing against your lips.
“Yes. God yes,” you whispered as you dropped your head back, moving yourself against him as he risked letting a finger glide over the lacey fabric of your bra. After a few more tentative touches, you made a soft whining sound. Five looked up, and the look you were giving him was so needy that it could have only matched his own. “They way you touch me…it’s like nobody else has ever touched me. Everything is different with you, Five. I don’t know why but it is,” you breathed.
Relinquishing his hold on your curvy hips, Five slid his hand up your back, proudly only fumbling a few seconds to get the clasp on your bra unhooked.
You let the fabric pull away from you so his fingers could slide under and caress your breasts.
Five leaned in, placing his other hand back on your ass as he buried his face against your neck. He wasn’t brave enough to take off your shirt the way you’d done to him, but this was plenty awe-inspiring anyway.  He relished your body’s reactions to him and the smell of your skin as he lay gentle kisses below your ear. 
Talking to himself in the way he’d spent a lifetime doing and couldn’t seem to break away from, Five asked, Why on earth have I been tormenting myself about this?
He had no answer to that, and Dolores, being not at all on his mind, didn’t chime in and give him any help like she normally did in his times of distress.
Five trailed kisses along your jaw and over your quietly gasping lips as you rocked your body against his cock. He continued to massage your breasts, stopping to feel your nipples as they grew harder, all seemingly because of his tender touch.
You moaned sweetly, letting him know you liked how it felt as he rolled the taut nubs between his fingers. Musing again, Five smiled while thinking that the only thing that would be better would be having your tits in his mouth.
Instead of doing that, he kissed your lips again. The hand Five had on the curve of your waist instinctively pulled you right up against him as his hips jut into yours. The sensation sent him careening, and he had to squeeze his eyes closed and think about something else or Chernobyl number two was going to happen in his pants.
The friction he had thought would help ease things, unfortunately only made it worse. His dick was so hard, it was throbbing in complaint as it lay trapped under his remaining layers of clothes. He could hardly breathe, and even more embarrassing, Five had just let out an animalistically guttural sound that had filled the entire office.
He would have been mortified that he’d done that, but when he opened his eyes, all he saw was your hooded eyes gazing back with no hint of judgment.
He didn’t even realize you had moved your hand from his chest until you were touching him, your palm cupping him tightly through his pants. Five swallowed hard, trying with everything he had not to move as you rubbed along his thigh where his dick had been trapped.
“Fuck-” he croaked out, then bit the inside of his cheek in an effort to be quieter in case there happened to be anyone else in the office working late.
“Do you want me to stop?” you asked.
“Please no,” he begged with his lips grazing your cheek.
You increased the pressure, and Five tried to pump himself up into your hand in response.
“Good, because I don’t want to stop," you said, then you leaned in, purring more assurances as you kissed along his throat and pulled at the top of his waistband with your other hand, loosening the inner clasp so you could zip his fly down and let your hand slide in.
As you very carefully pulled him free, positioning his erection up between you, Five cried out at the feel of you manhandling him. He had touched himself like that so many times, but with you doing it, it felt millions of times more extreme. His hand that had been toying with your breasts lost all function, other than to fall to his side, fisting the bottom of your skirt.
Your skin against his hard flesh had him seeing stars as you explored, running your palm down and up his entire length.
After getting more acquainted with what you were working with, you ran a finger over the tip of Five’s cock, doing that move over and over. That of course made it harder for Five to think and breathe. You spread the wetness that had gathered there, smearing it under your tightened fingers, and by the time your hand wrapped around him even firmer, and you started to really move, the muscles in Five’s legs were quivering and flexing uncontrollably.
As you started jerking him off, feeling like he was having an outer body experience, Five dropped his head back, pinching his eyes closed.
He wasn’t thinking at all anymore. If you'd asked him his name, he wouldn't have been able to tell you.
“Harder-" he begged through clenched teeth.
Your hand obediently tightened.
There was nothing but the sound of wet skin, and sex, and the feeling that he wasn’t in control of any of it for the first time-ever.
Fuck. He was going to come already.
“Plea-” he desperately breathed, gazing up at your determined eyes. You sped up without him having to find the coherent words to ask for it, and he couldn’t help himself as he bucked, moving you with him as his hips repeatedly met your hand. “I am gonna cum-" he warned, but you didn’t stop.
His breath hitched, and his eyes closed again as his forehead fell against your chest.
Falling apart like he’d never done for anyone, Five began to spill.
“Fuuuuuuuuck!” he moaned, the ‘F’s’ repeating as spurts of his seed rocked his body.
Your hand slowed in pace with his erratic thrusts, but your fingers stayed around him as he rode out the final spasms of his release.
Five dropped his head back on the couch, totally drained.
You let go and slid your hand back up, letting the waistband of his briefs snap back in place when once you had him properly tucked in.
Now that it was done, Five wanted to fold in on himself and hide, to run, to…
He didn’t even know what he wanted to do. He could feel all his normal anxieties seeping back in way too quickly even though that had been unbelievable, and you were unbelievable and fuck...
When Five risked opening his eyes, he realized you had grabbed some tissues from the box on the side table and managed to catch his mess, so at least he didn’t make a total fool of himself in that way, or defile CIA property by splatter painting their stupid decorative plant. That would have been just great, blasting jizz all over that, or over himself and you in the wake of his inability to show even the slightest bit of restraint.
Someone was thinking; and it sure as hell wasn’t him.
“I am sorry,” he said, looking up at you regretfully.
You had been beaming at him happily, and to that, your face scrunched in confusion. “Why are you sorry now?”
How does one say sorry for that…Five wondered, then came up with an answer.
‘Ah…because I just blew my wad in your hand, and because I did it so fast, and because I didn’t do anything for you...and I shouldn’t be doing any of this anyway because of more reasons than I can count, and I can count really fucking high!'
Five couldn't bring myself to say all that. It wasn’t that he knew how to do the same thing for you exactly, but still, he knew he was supposed to reciprocate, and he’d watched plenty of porn over the years, so he could have at least tried.
Holy hell, he felt stupid.
“Oh no... There you go again. Five. When you get that look, I know it’s not good. For a guy that normally seems like you have the world by the balls, you worry way too much,” you said.
The urge to do something was there, but then you started to run your fingers through his hair again and Five couldn’t help the extremely relaxed feeling it was giving him, especially after what had just happened. He wanted to give himself over to it, and just like that, he did. He simply let go, letting himself feel every soft touch of your hand.
It felt like love, or what he imagined real love felt like.
He would have been completely at peace with the world at that point, but Five still couldn’t completely shake the idea that he’d messed up and that he never should have started fucking with you to begin with.
He dreamily gazed up at you, still not sure what to say. “That was... Fuck," he idiodically huffed, then tried again. "That felt so good. I’m sorry I didn’t-"
You cut him off with your pointer finger to his lips.
“Stop, Five. Just hush it with the apologies. If you’re worried about me, don’t be.” Your frown melted into a curious looking little smirk. “You looked like you couldn’t take much more, and watching you, like that... Let’s just say that was very satisfying and I am very glad you liked it. I may not have reached the same level of pleasure as you, but I enjoyed myself plenty." You tipped your head to the side, as if considering something.
“You’re not pissed about any of this?” he asked.
“No, absolutely not.” You gave him a sexy grin. “If you’re really worried about it, why don’t we make a deal? Next time we play around, you can call all the shots, and I’ll keep my hands to myself. I’m sure you’ll think of a way to repay me with that vivid imagination of yours.”
Biting your lip, you waited for him to respond.
Five was almost certain that you'd just given him an open invitation to touch you like he had been doing when he woke up, and thinking about doing that had his now semi hard dick twinging with renewed excitement.
If he didn’t stop imagining that, then he would be fighting another massive boner, and the whole thing would start all over again. Hating himself for not being stronger than this, the voice in his head sang, Earth to Five… Do you even have a brain anymore or do you only think with your dick?
“Ok,” he agreed, breaking the silence with nothing more than a one-word answer.
He really, really did want to redeem himself, but he also needed to settle down because he could hear the wheels of Frank the janitor’s cleaning cart coming down the hall outside his door.
Knock, knock, knock…
“Shit,” Five cursed, shifting you off of him as he quickly started righting himself, zipping his fly, then quickly trying to button at least most of his shirt.
Frank tapped again as he was scrambling to pick up all the cummed on wads of tissue laying around on the floor. “You okay in there?” the older man called. “I came past earlier but….but I thought it might be better if I came back.”
“Just a minute,” Five called out, his eyes darting around the dimly lit office, seeing his tie laying over by his desk and your dress shoes laying at the other end of the couch. Your hair looked like you’d been rolling around in the hay with him, minus the hay. Realizing that his hair probably looked worse, Five also remembered struggling to keep quiet, but failing horribly. “Fuck,” he cursed, turning around, his vest flying open as he frantically tore his hands back through his messed-up man mane, only making his less than tidy cut look even worse.
As you calmly picked up your stack of books and the case files Five had kindly let you use for your essays, frowning, he looked back at you from his reflection in the small mirror hanging by the door. The way he looked only made your hardly stifled giggles even louder.
Nice going boner boy. Very smooth and so fucking tactful! he silently fumed while rolling his eyes at himself.
Coming up behind him, you leaned in and kissed his cheek, quieting his troubled thoughts as if you held some kind of otherworldly magic over him.
Five shut his eyes, again letting you make all the moves for him. He cleared his throat, then he opened the door, doing his best to offer Franke a curt-looking smile and wave him inside, so he could do his thing.
“Evening, Frank.”
The white-haired janitor looked from Five to you, his mustache quirking just a little.
Hand pushing deep in his front pockets, Five moved aside, coming out into the hall, letting the older looking man and you move past. “Make sure you read over the notes I gave you on the importance of situational awareness before tomorrow, or there’s no way you’re going to pass,” Five called after you, trying to sound as pompously dick-ish as he normally would.
Turning back, you flipped him the bird.
Five smiled.
Watching you disappear down the hall, he promised himself this was the last time he was going to let you get him.
If he was doing this, which he evidently was, then he was going to start showing you exactly who he was. Then, maybe you’d get that he wasn’t who he appeared to be, and you’d do what he wasn’t strong enough to do, which was walk away from this.
Part Two:  Five Said No, But Morning Glory Says Yes
Right on que, Five woke up with his dick harder than an oak.
He was lying there on the couch in his office, having fallen asleep while working late. Back when he’d started at the CIA, not even done with college yet, he often did this, but that usually involved drinking too much then passing out.
That kind of behavior was nothing new for him, but he hadn’t done that in a while. Relieved that he didn’t have the brain throbbing start of a hangover nagging at him, he kept his eyes closed tight, like he could get his dick to go back to sleep if he willed it.
He tried to ignore it, he really did, but thanks to his physical age and the power of youthful hormones raging, his increasingly bothersome boner alarm proved impossible to turn off.
Taking a long, tired breath, then letting it out slowly, Five started mentally preparing himself for another wake and whack session to add to his already impressive record.
He couldn’t remember what he’d been dreaming about, only that you were together, and you were touching him down there or maybe he was touching you down there. Whatever it had been about, it didn’t matter, because once again, Five had woken up before he’d got off, and was ready to send forth his load into an innocent and unsuspecting piece of clothing, only he wasn’t at home, so he’d have to find something else nearby to catch his mess instead. Anything would do, even destroying the shitty plastic tree someone had put on the floor next to his couch.
“Fuck that Ficus,” he breathed. 
His hand flexed, ready to spring into action and get this over with, and in doing so, it rubbed along skin that was not his own. To his shock, his arm was laying over something warm and alive, and that had him immediately realizing the pressure pressed up against his hard-on was not from the couch cushion or one of the pillows.
Five never would have admitted it unless he happened to be using it for his job as a cover story while trying to fit in with other lunatics, but like so often, he was having trouble differentiating between reality and fantasy.
Seeing as how he’d woken up on more than a couple of occasions unsure if his dreams or nightmares were real or not, he couldn’t blame himself for being confused, not entirely, not when the main player in his fantasies was right there squeezed in next to him.
His eyes abruptly focused, taking in his surroundings, confirming what he already should have known. You had both fallen asleep while he was helping you study for your next round of exams, and there you were with him, lying on the couch in the darkness of his quiet office.
He had no idea how he ended up cuddled next to you the way he was, and even though Five had thought about it about a hundred million times since the incident in your room, things hadn’t started back up the way they had that day, and he believed it was for the best, and he’d said as much and you’d respected it, but that didn’t mean it had been easy for him.
Just being around you, doing nothing even remotely flirtatious or sexual in nature was making the tornado of butterflies in his stomach worse each day that he fought to stomp them into submission. There was no denying that, or the perpetual case of blue balls he had from watching you sashay around him in your short skirts and blouses with the top few buttons undone as if daring him to dive into your cleavage again.
He had already touched those perky pillows and he liked doing it way too much. Five liked everything about you. The way you challenged him even when he was being an insufferable jerk. The way you laughed.
Even more than all of that. Five loved the way you smiled at him like you didn’t smile for anyone else.
Being around you made him forget all the bad things, if even for just a while.
It didn’t matter. What he’d done was a mistake. Nobody could ever really care about him if they knew the truth, and you sure as hell wouldn’t believe him. You’d think he was crazy. He’d be fired and maybe even forced into psychiatric care.
It was better this way, but so much for his plan to shut this down, and so much for being good and keeping his hands off when you considered the situation he was in now. In hindsight, looking at the out-of-control horn-ball he had become in the last few weeks, Five knew that he should have scheduled a well-defined whack-off time as a part of his daily routine, then maybe this shit wouldn’t happen when he wasn’t expecting it.
That thought got him asking himself the question, When did I become such a perverted degenerate?
He remembered you reading, leaning back after a while, kicking your heels off. Sitting a few feet away, reading over a briefing Derek had given him earlier that day, Five waited for you to finish your review so he could quiz you again. He felt himself starting to doze off. He remembered how comfortable he was with you there with him. He just wanted to stay like that with you a little longer, with the smell of you filling his lungs, touching his things. He vaguely recalled trying to keep his eyes open and noticing that you looked very tired too.
Now there you were, his arm wrapped around you, laying over your hip, and his hand was in an area that normally he wouldn’t have dared let it venture. It was starting to come back to him each minute he was conscious, and he was almost certain that when he started to wake up, he was grinding his morning monster on your butt, and his hand was touching you between your legs in a very inappropriate way.
It wasn’t just a dream; he had been really doing that, or he was pretty sure he was.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Way to go, fucking creep, he mentally yelled at himself.
He had no right to, but Five had you spooned into him like you were his, and if you were awake, you were definitely able to feel his predicament, and also what he had been doing to you.
He shifted his weight, moving just a little, trying to give you some space and maybe if it was not too late, also try to save some face.
Just as he began to pull his arm off, you started stretching your legs, your feet twisting around his.
“Is it morning already?” you complained.
The smell of your hair filled Five’s lungs again and the pressure from you pushing back against him had his eyes popping wide.
If he had his powers still, he would have blinked away the second he’d realized where he was. That wasn’t an option anymore, but the instinct to do it was still eating at him like the ghost of a spark that kept trying to burst into a flame but couldn’t.
Five was panicking; he didn’t know what to do.
You shifted again, trying to move back, but he found he had nowhere to go. He was trapped between you and the back of the couch.
“I… Ah… It’s not morning yet. I’m sorry I woke you. I must have fallen asleep," Five stammered as he tried to sit up, using the arm under his small couch pillow to push himself up. "I’m going to just-"
You captured his hand as it started slipping over your hip. You pulled him back down and he found himself falling around you again, entrapped in the exact same position.
“You’re so warm, and your office is so cold. Please don’t go yet. I like you as my blanket,” you whined while pushing back, your firm curves warm against his even warmer erection.
Five went ram rod still at the same time you did.
“I am so sorry,” he quickly tried to say, but stopped at that because he found he had no other words that would explain what he’d done. Instead, he forced out the pillow from under his head and then buried his face in it, hiding from his shame like a total jackass.
The clock on his wall ticked for felt like an eternity, neither of you saying a word. You were clearly upset, weirded out, or god help him…Five didn’t know anymore.
Finally breaking the silence, you said, “Five, stop that. You don’t need to be sorry.”
Even though he was still under his shield, Five could tell by your tone that you were trying to console him. Of course, you were the one taking the highroad. Here he was the one almost 42 years older than you and you were the one being mature.
He took a deep breath, trying to clear his head, knowing he had to say something, but still not sure what would make the situation better.
“And to think," he started, "I was worried about what my boss would think if someone here found out about us and talked. It turns out I was worried about the wrong thing. This is so much more awkward and damning than that." He groaned into his shame pillow.
Five felt you move, your hands landing on the throw pillow, forcing him to let go. When he finally had the courage to open his eyes, he was met with yours, and even though it was dark, he could tell you weren’t mad. You had turned your body towards him, and your fingers were already playing with the ends of his hair at the nape of his neck.
Five felt like he was going to die, sure that he would if you didn’t stop touching him like that.
He was thinking about using his arm to cover his face instead of expiring. It was his only option since you’d thrown his pillow out of reach, but then he realized he may have needed more than just his arm to cover him because he could feel everything from his forehead to his chin burning bright red with humiliation. 
You grinned at him in that way he knew meant you were trying to hold back a laugh. “You know, Five... Nobody is talking doom and gloom about this other than you, and why do you think this is awkward?”
“Oh, I don’t know… because of Morning Glory here,” he joked, gesturing down to where the small throw blanket you had pulled with you had thankfully covered the area below his waist, but it didn’t really matter because he knew, and you knew, that he was still sporting a nice sized tent for the second time you’d been alone with him in a week.
You took claim of his hand, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, keeping your devil-may-care grin on your rosy lips. “Yeah…I don’t really think you can blame that all on it being morning. Unless that clock is wrong, it’s not even midnight.”
You very purposefully moved closer, and all at once, Five felt you press against the villain in his pants with your thigh and he accidentally let out a little puff of airy agitation in response.
“And this isn’t awkward. It’s flattering," you furthered, your sexy smile melting into something a bit silly as you added, “A healthy sexual appetite is nothing to be embarrassed about."
Your intentionally nerdy, sex ed teacher tone had somehow managed to sound even sexier than when you normally teased him, and holy fuck did Five love getting lectured by you you like that.
The dirty old man in him that was thinking about spanking you for trying to steal his role as the teacher didn’t know what to say. You were obviously trying to make him feel better for his little predicament, but he still felt like a creep. Getting morning wood while sleeping next to an extremely hot girl that was way out of your league was one thing, but touching her in her sleep, like that… 
 What the hell was wrong with me? That was not normal! Five privately scolded himself.
“I need to-" He didn’t finish, instead, Five swiftly pushed himself up, and as discreetly as possible made sure ‘woody’ was tucked down against his leg.
He started getting up, and you moved out of his way. He swung his legs to the floor and was about to stand, but he didn’t get any further than that because you quickly turned and swung a leg over his lap, your knees landing on either side of his torso, in effect ambushing him, and preventing his escape as your skirt flared out, covering his lap.
“Hey, not so fast. I am not mad at you, Five. I fell asleep too, so it’s not your fault. Maybe it happened again for a reason. I knew you were dreaming a few minutes ago, so don’t be freaked out about this or what happened the other day. It’s ok, I promise.”
Your fingers moved along his scalp, playing with his hair again. The look on your face was so sincere, but then it quickly changed to something more pensive and playful as you slowly licked your lip then continued. “And just so you know, even if you weren’t dreaming, I would have been ok with what you were doing. You can touch me however and whenever you want. I thought I made that known the other day. You were the one that said no more, not me.”
The more perplexed Five looked, the more devilish you looked. Your fingers dug in as they fell to his shoulders, pulling his shirt even tighter in your grip.
You leaned in and whispered in his ear. “I am so wet for you right now, I am more than ok with how that clever mind of yours works, but the question is, are you, and do you want me to stop trying to convince you how much I want you?”
The things you were saying and your soft breaths on his skin were making Five’s hands shake.
“Don’t stop,” he breathed, just as your lips brushed against his cheek and you began kissing him..
Both of Five’s hands latched on to your hips so fast it was like he wasn’t in command of his own body anymore. He felt like he needed something to hold on to, to ground himself, and his hole punch filled morals weren’t working.
It was so much all at once, with real lips on his, and you on his lap and the warmth of your sex so close to his painfully hard cock. Instead of thinking about how 'wet' you said you were, Five tried to distract himself by focusing on your mouth as it moved against his. You obediently opened for him as he urgently searched your lips with the tip of his tongue, pushing for entry. The second you gave, Five darted it inside, feeling the sweet, candy-like warmth that he was coming to know was simply the taste of you.
Beside himself already, Five moaned into your mouth.
Your tongue met his more excitedly after that, and you both pushed each other for more, hardly coming up for air.
You felt so good. What you were doing to him felt so good; it was like he was in another world, with nothing but the two of you.
It was like it was with Dolores, only not at all. That was survival. She was hard and cold. You were soft and warm, and she was him, and you were…fuck.
Dolores knew him. You didn’t.
Like before, Five knew this was wrong, but his hands slipped behind you anyway, pulling you closer as his hips rocked underneath you.
In moments of desperation, Five had held Dolores in his lap like this so many times, and done the same thing, only this was so much different. He could have lost himself completely in the feeling of you and been a very happy man, but his brain kept trying to reboot and intrude.
Even as his cock was getting a nice little ride, his brain was yelling at him to stop. 'Here you go again! This is so fucked-up, and this is obviously not going to help with your not so little problem, and what the hell are you doing? You’re going to ruin this for both of you!'
He pulled away, his breath coming way too fast.
“We shouldn’t do this… I…I can’t-” he whispered, but he couldn’t help it as he let his lips trail along your jaw, trying to repress his agonized growl.
You weren’t buying it, and he wasn't doing a good job selling it. Seeing where your hips were, it was obvious he was more than capable of doing this.
You softly laughed, your breath brushing his skin as your hands explored, first unbuttoning his fitted vest, then untucking his dress shirt, making his entire body quake with the simplest of touch as your fingers crawled up, exposing him, one small button at a time. 
Not used to being touched like that, Five pulled back, dropping his head as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to regain some composure. You weren’t having that either. You continued to caress his heated skin with your fingers moving dangerously close to his waistband.
Unlike him, your intentions were very clear as usual, but your voice came out raspy and sweet and questioning anyway, in total contrast to how you were so self-confidently seducing him. “Five?”
He hesitantly opened his eyes and looked up at you. Your cheeks were flushed, and your lips swollen from his kisses, your eyes full of worry.
“Why are you scared?” A crease appeared between your brows. “What you were doing was perfect and I want you to touch me. I wanted you to touch me all night,” you said, practically moaning your words.
Five was so fucking hard; it was almost more than he could take. All rational thought was gone.
When he came back up to meet you again, claiming your lips, you were ready and willing, tugging him closer with his loosened tie. Not satisfied with his state of undress, or with how you were so successfully dominating him, you quickly undid the knot and whipped the length of silk through his collar, throwing it over his head. You traced your nails down his torso with one hand and laced your fingers through his hair with the other.
Five met your advances, letting his hands float under your blouse, exploring the softness of your skin. When his fingers grazed just below your breasts, he stopped.
“Is this ok?” he asked with his mouth still brushing against your lips.
“Yes. God yes,” you whispered as you dropped your head back, moving yourself against him as he risked letting a finger glide over the lacey fabric of your bra. After a few more tentative touches, you made a soft whining sound. Five looked up, and the look you were giving him was so needy that it could have only matched his own. “They way you touch me…it’s like nobody else has ever touched me. Everything is different with you, Five. I don’t know why but it is,” you breathed.
Relinquishing his hold on your curvy hips, Five slid his hand up your back, proudly only fumbling a few seconds to get the clasp on your bra unhooked.
You let the fabric pull away from you so his fingers could slide under and caress your breasts.
Five leaned in, placing his other hand back on your ass as he buried his face against your neck. He wasn’t brave enough to take off your shirt the way you’d done to him, but this was plenty awe-inspiring anyway.  He relished your body’s reactions to him and the smell of your skin as he lay gentle kisses below your ear. 
Talking to himself in the way he’d spent a lifetime doing and couldn’t seem to break away from, Five asked, Why on earth have I been tormenting myself about this?
He had no answer to that, and Dolores, being not at all on his mind, didn’t chime in and give him any help like she normally did in his times of distress.
Five trailed kisses along your jaw and over your quietly gasping lips as you rocked your body against his cock. He continued to massage your breasts, stopping to feel your nipples as they grew harder, all seemingly because of his tender touch.
You moaned sweetly, letting him know you liked how it felt as he rolled the taut nubs between his fingers. Musing again, Five smiled while thinking that the only thing that would be better would be having your tits in his mouth.
Instead of doing that, he kissed your lips again. The hand Five had on the curve of your waist instinctively pulled you right up against him as his hips jut into yours. The sensation sent him careening, and he had to squeeze his eyes closed and think about something else or Chernobyl number two was going to happen in his pants.
The friction he had thought would help ease things, unfortunately only made it worse. His dick was so hard, it was throbbing in complaint as it lay trapped under his remaining layers of clothes. He could hardly breathe, and even more embarrassing, Five had just let out an animalistically guttural sound that had filled the entire office.
He would have been mortified that he’d done that, but when he opened his eyes, all he saw was your hooded eyes gazing back with no hint of judgment.
He didn’t even realize you had moved your hand from his chest until you were touching him, your palm cupping him tightly through his pants. Five swallowed hard, trying with everything he had not to move as you rubbed along his thigh where his dick had been trapped.
“Fuck-” he croaked out, then bit the inside of his cheek in an effort to be quieter in case there happened to be anyone else in the office working late.
“Do you want me to stop?” you asked.
“Please no,” he begged with his lips grazing your cheek.
You increased the pressure, and Five tried to pump himself up into your hand in response.
“Good, because I don’t want to stop," you said, then you leaned in, purring more assurances as you kissed along his throat and pulled at the top of his waistband with your other hand, loosening the inner clasp so you could zip his fly down and let your hand slide in.
As you very carefully pulled him free, positioning his erection up between you, Five cried out at the feel of you manhandling him. He had touched himself like that so many times, but with you doing it, it felt millions of times more extreme. His hand that had been toying with your breasts lost all function, other than to fall to his side, fisting the bottom of your skirt.
Your skin against his hard flesh had him seeing stars as you explored, running your palm down and up his entire length.
After getting more acquainted with what you were working with, you ran a finger over the tip of Five’s cock, doing that move over and over. That of course made it harder for Five to think and breathe. You spread the wetness that had gathered there, smearing it under your tightened fingers, and by the time your hand wrapped around him even firmer, and you started to really move, the muscles in Five’s legs were quivering and flexing uncontrollably.
As you started jerking him off, feeling like he was having an outer body experience, Five dropped his head back, pinching his eyes closed.
He wasn’t thinking at all anymore. If you'd asked him his name, he wouldn't have been able to tell you.
“Harder-" he begged through clenched teeth.
Your hand obediently tightened.
There was nothing but the sound of wet skin, and sex, and the feeling that he wasn’t in control of any of it for the first time-ever.
Fuck. He was going to come already.
“Plea-” he desperately breathed, gazing up at your determined eyes. You sped up without him having to find the coherent words to ask for it, and he couldn’t help himself as he bucked, moving you with him as his hips repeatedly met your hand. “I am gonna cum-" he warned, but you didn’t stop.
His breath hitched, and his eyes closed again as his forehead fell against your chest.
Falling apart like he’d never done for anyone, Five began to spill.
“Fuuuuuuuuck!” he moaned, the ‘F’s’ repeating as spurts of his seed rocked his body.
Your hand slowed in pace with his erratic thrusts, but your fingers stayed around him as he rode out the final spasms of his release.
Five dropped his head back on the couch, totally drained.
You let go and slid your hand back up, letting the waistband of his briefs snap back in place when once you had him properly tucked in.
Now that it was done, Five wanted to fold in on himself and hide, to run, to…
He didn’t even know what he wanted to do. He could feel all his normal anxieties seeping back in way too quickly even though that had been unbelievable, and you were unbelievable and fuck...
When Five risked opening his eyes, he realized you had grabbed some tissues from the box on the side table and managed to catch his mess, so at least he didn’t make a total fool of himself in that way, or defile CIA property by splatter painting their stupid decorative plant. That would have been just great, blasting jizz all over that, or over himself and you in the wake of his inability to show even the slightest bit of restraint.
Someone was thinking; and it sure as hell wasn’t him.
“I am sorry,” he said, looking up at you regretfully.
You had been beaming at him happily, and to that, your face scrunched in confusion. “Why are you sorry now?”
How does one say sorry for that…Five wondered, then came up with an answer.
‘Ah…because I just blew my wad in your hand, and because I did it so fast, and because I didn’t do anything for you...and I shouldn’t be doing any of this anyway because of more reasons than I can count, and I can count really fucking high!'
Five couldn't bring myself to say all that. It wasn’t that he knew how to do the same thing for you exactly, but still, he knew he was supposed to reciprocate, and he’d watched plenty of porn over the years, so he could have at least tried.
Holy hell, he felt stupid.
“Oh no... There you go again. Five. When you get that look, I know it’s not good. For a guy that normally seems like you have the world by the balls, you worry way too much,” you said.
The urge to do something was there, but then you started to run your fingers through his hair again and Five couldn’t help the extremely relaxed feeling it was giving him, especially after what had just happened. He wanted to give himself over to it, and just like that, he did. He simply let go, letting himself feel every soft touch of your hand.
It felt like love, or what he imagined real love felt like.
He would have been completely at peace with the world at that point, but Five still couldn’t completely shake the idea that he’d messed up and that he never should have started fucking with you to begin with.
He dreamily gazed up at you, still not sure what to say. “That was... Fuck," he idiodically huffed, then tried again. "That felt so good. I’m sorry I didn’t-"
You cut him off with your pointer finger to his lips.
“Stop, Five. Just hush it with the apologies. If you’re worried about me, don’t be.” Your frown melted into a curious looking little smirk. “You looked like you couldn’t take much more, and watching you, like that... Let’s just say that was very satisfying and I am very glad you liked it. I may not have reached the same level of pleasure as you, but I enjoyed myself plenty." You tipped your head to the side, as if considering something.
“You’re not pissed about any of this?” he asked.
“No, absolutely not.” You gave him a sexy grin. “If you’re really worried about it, why don’t we make a deal? Next time we play around, you can call all the shots, and I’ll keep my hands to myself. I’m sure you’ll think of a way to repay me with that vivid imagination of yours.”
Biting your lip, you waited for him to respond.
Five was almost certain that you'd just given him an open invitation to touch you like he had been doing when he woke up, and thinking about doing that had his now semi hard dick twinging with renewed excitement.
If he didn’t stop imagining that, then he would be fighting another massive boner, and the whole thing would start all over again. Hating himself for not being stronger than this, the voice in his head sang, Earth to Five… Do you even have a brain anymore or do you only think with your dick?
“Ok,” he agreed, breaking the silence with nothing more than a one-word answer.
He really, really did want to redeem himself, but he also needed to settle down because he could hear the wheels of Frank the janitor’s cleaning cart coming down the hall outside his door.
Knock, knock, knock…
“Shit,” Five cursed, shifting you off of him as he quickly started righting himself, zipping his fly, then quickly trying to button at least most of his shirt.
Frank tapped again as he was scrambling to pick up all the cummed on wads of tissue laying around on the floor. “You okay in there?” the older man called. “I came past earlier but….but I thought it might be better if I came back.”
“Just a minute,” Five called out, his eyes darting around the dimly lit office, seeing his tie laying over by his desk and your dress shoes laying at the other end of the couch. Your hair looked like you’d been rolling around in the hay with him, minus the hay. Realizing that his hair probably looked worse, Five also remembered struggling to keep quiet, but failing horribly. “Fuck,” he cursed, turning around, his vest flying open as he frantically tore his hands back through his messed-up man mane, only making his less than tidy cut look even worse.
As you calmly picked up your stack of books and the case files Five had kindly let you use for your essays, frowning, he looked back at you from his reflection in the small mirror hanging by the door. The way he looked only made your hardly stifled giggles even louder.
Nice going boner boy. Very smooth and so fucking tactful! he silently fumed while rolling his eyes at himself.
Coming up behind him, you leaned in and kissed his cheek, quieting his troubled thoughts as if you held some kind of otherworldly magic over him.
Five shut his eyes, again letting you make all the moves for him. He cleared his throat, then he opened the door, doing his best to offer Franke a curt-looking smile and wave him inside, so he could do his thing.
“Evening, Frank.”
The white-haired janitor looked from Five to you, his mustache quirking just a little.
Hand pushing deep in his front pockets, Five moved aside, coming out into the hall, letting the older looking man and you move past. “Make sure you read over the notes I gave you on the importance of situational awareness before tomorrow, or there’s no way you’re going to pass,” Five called after you, trying to sound as pompously dick-ish as he normally would.
Turning back, you flipped him the bird.
Five smiled.
Watching you disappear down the hall, he promised himself this was the last time he was going to let you get him.
If he was doing this, which he evidently was, then he was going to start showing you exactly who he was. Then, maybe you’d get that he wasn’t who he appeared to be, and you’d do what he wasn’t strong enough to do, which was walk away from this.
Part Three: Closeted Softy
One second you and Five were heading down the hall, making your way to the conference room where, in an hour, he was going to be delivering a class to other trainees on interrogation tactics, then the next, your head was spinning from how quickly Five had latched on to you and swung you around, pushing you inside a maintenance closet.
It was dark, but not completely because the light seeping in from under the door filled enough of the cramped space for you to see that a jug of industrial cleaner was sitting on a shelf, inches from your face.
Something behind Five jingled, like a set of keys or something else metal.The points of his dress shoes nudged against the tips of your toes as he moved in closer, pressing you against the wall, so you couldn’t get away. You started to open your mouth, but before you knew it, he crashed his lips into yours, silencing you.
As he pinned you in his embrace with his strong fingers digging into your hips, his kiss quickly grew deeper and more desperate, making your heart beat faster and faster. Then, suddenly, he broke away, peering at you with his striking green eyes full of the devil.
“My turn,” he said, his smile exposing more of his charmingly boyish dimple in the dim light.
His warm fingers started sliding up the length of your arms, an unexpected coldness tickling your skin as he went, bringing your hands together. The weight of his body pushing against you, Five recaptured your lips with his again, then he pinched his fingers around the metal rings he’d just sneakily slipped around your wrists, tightening the handcuffs that you had no idea he’d had with him.
“Five, wha-"
As soon as he had you strung up, the chain of the cuffs hung up on one of the hooks above your head that would normally be used to hang a mop or broom, Five’s hands moved down, pushing you into the wall even tighter. "No hands, remember,” he mumbled in way of explanation before biting down on your earlobe, his teeth stinging your flesh as he suddenly pinched your nipples through the fabric of your blouse.
You gasped in shock, feeling Five's breathily laughed sigh of happiness over it, then you felt his velvety whisper. "Was that good?"
“I think you know it was,” you breathed as you squirmed in frustration, wanting to touch him, to run your fingers along the lines of his handsome face, then down his lean frame, but able to do none of that as he peered at you through the darkness with a lopsided grin.
Five's eyes smoldered, the soft green glint in them nonexistent. Lowering his head, he started softly licking one of your nipples through your shirt, his saliva wetting the fabric so there’d be no way you could hide it when the door reopened.
“You regretting doing this with me yet?” he asked when he pulled away.
All you could do was let out the most pathetic sounding whimper, so he did it again, only this time smiling against your peeked flesh before he bit down, making your body crane up against his. That’s when he reached down between you, and started palming himself.
Five jerked his chin to the side and slowly swallowed, his Adam's apple moving accordingly while your eyes drank in the sexiness of his nervous tick.
All at once, abandoning his own need, his hands were sliding up your skirt, moving between your legs. His breath hitched as soon as he felt the heat of your desire for him wetting your satin underwear.
A growl crept up from inside Five’s throat as he pushed the garment aside, slipping it down your legs where it got trapped at your ankles, further proving how helpless you were. At the feel of his hand sliding down, you squirmed over the new sensation, but instead of giving you what you wanted, Five paused, letting the wetness of your arousal paint the tips of his fingers.
“Oh fuck, I fucking love this,” he breathed as if transfixed. That breathless declaration, along with the gentle movement of his fingers, softly and carefully stroking, hit you hard. You reactively clenched your thighs together as fresh wetness spilled between your legs.
You whimpered as he cursed again, and his finger started sliding a little harder.
You bucked against his hand because it felt so good. Equally moved, Five feverishly started kissing you, but his hand remained, lodged between your legs.
Trying to chase the gloriously erotic feeling he was giving you by feeling more of him, you tried to push closer to him, but he wouldn’t let you, dodging it by moving himself back out of your reach.
“MMmmmmfff!" you cried, breathlessly breaking away from his mouth. "Yes, Five, there!” you urged and panted, then you had to hold your breath because that was way too loud and his finger was moving just right against your clit and…”Ahhh-ah-Ffffiiiiiivvveeee!”
Standing there, his silhouette in his black suit only making him look all the more sinister, Five smiled so sweetly. “That’s it, say my fucking name.”
“Fffffuuu- Five, yeeeeeesssss,” you moaned, when his index finger moved harder and faster.
Your breathing was becoming more labored, and your heart was beating so fast it felt like it might explode. Your body was moving of its own accord, your hips helplessly wiggling against his hand. Unable to control himself, Five started to thrust himself against your leg. “Tell me you want me to fuck you,” he growled as your body rammed back against the wall from the momentum of his attack.
His index finger pushed through your folds, flirting with entering you before sliding back upwards, pressing into your clit with just the right pressure. The handcuffs dug into your skin as your back arched off the wall while he licked at your earlobe in long hot hungry swipes.
“Say it!”
“I want you to fuck me! Please, Five!”
Only furthering his claim on you, and proving none of this was in your control, Five bit down hard and sucked at the skin on your shoulder as his finger flew around your nub, gliding faster and faster in a semi-circle like motion, pushing upwards, then down with no mercy. 
You bucked and thrashed. “Yes, like that,” you frantically begged.
Five slowed his pace to a stop, denying you. 
He lifted his head, looking up at you appraisingly, then he slowly slipped his finger inside you. As it disappeared, your walls involuntarily clenched around it, and looking diabolically thrilled, Five moved his digit deeper inside you.
You moaned, so broken and quiet that it finally seemed to bring a little of that familiar light of worry to his eyes. “Does it hurt?” he quietly asked.
Lost in the feeling of him inside you, you shook your head.
Once your tightness could be felt along the whole length of his finger and his palm was pressed up against you, Five began to slowly move in and out to the same pace as his thumb swirling around your clit.
“Oh my god, Five,” you gasped, as your whole body struggled against his.
“Does this feel good?” he asked, determined to keep you talking as he angled his finger up, letting it drag, making you bucked up, proving that was a move worth repeating.
“Ff-fuck. Ff-feels so good,” your words trailed off as you pinched your eyes shut.
“Say that you are nothing but a little prick tease and all you want is my cock, or I’m leaving you in here and not coming back,” Five demanded, his voice sounding so low and cold.
You didn’t understand. You said nothing.
“Do it!” Five angrily hissed.
“I’m a prick tease and I want your cock,” you obediently cried.
Five pulled out of your warmth, then gently buried his middle finger and index fingers together inside you, doing it so slowly.
Watching you intently, Five gradually increased the pace and angle of both fingers. He moved them in and out, again and again, the soft wet rhythmic sound of him moving inside you, and your panting for more, driving his wrist harder and faster. Unable to stop himself, he pushed his mouth against yours, fighting to be inside you even more than he was, but soon his own breathing became too unsteady, and he was forced to pull away for air.
“Fi-ve....I am almost there… Plea-se don’t st-op!” Your teeth pierced the bottom of your lip as you closed your eyes.
“Look at me,” he demanded, and just like that you did. You were covered in a sheen of sweat, about to double if the cuffs hadn’t been holding you up and he looked like something dark had consumed him, something terrifying.
“Please…let me go so I want to touch you,” you said as you gasped and bucked against his hand, your wetness warmly slipping against his palm as his long fingers felt like they were touching your soul.
“Do this for me, like this, and it will be over,” Five lovingly urged, and that change in how he’d spoke to you and what he’d said confused you even more.
"Five!" you cried as his fingers abruptly changed pace again, violently slamming in and out of you.
Your legs all at once tightened around his hand and your insides began to clench around him. Your entire body tensed, then shuddered. You weren’t breathing at all for moments on end. When you did, it was strained, but Five’s fingers kept going at it hard, letting you ride out every moment of the orgasm he’d forced out of you. 
When the clinching sensation around his fingers gradually began to slow to where he could no longer feel it, Five finally stopped moving them. You went limp against him, breathing heavily as he let you drop your head to his shoulder. 
As he held you, you were letting out shaky noises of contentment, and you were sure by the way his hand trembled as he ran it up and down our back that he wasn’t feeling very steady either. You felt like you could cry it was all so much, but then, adding to your dismay, that was when Five pried himself away and you heard the sound of him starting to open his pants.
Opening your eyes, your entire body still pulsing in time to your frantic heartbeat, you were treated with faintest glint Five’s heartbreakingly infectious pale green eyes that never seemed to cease in their infinite power over you, that, and his long, hard dick in his hand as he slowly and methodically stroked it like a man that knew exactly what he was doing and didn’t care at all that he was killing you.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” he said while peering at you, still strung up, locked to the wall, unable to get away unless you screamed, ending all this madness of this for both of you.
Coming forward, the ends of Five's hair tickled your heated cheeks, his erection coming all the way to the height of your navel as he whispered in your ear, “Don’t worry. We’re almost done.”
Moving back so you could see all of it, his leisured motions as he massaged his cock, Five ran his hooked index finger round the tip, carefully spreading the moisture dripping out of him down his entire length, then he began to work himself in earnest, sliding his hand effortlessly over his shaft.
Just looking at him doing that made your insides throb all over again. Tiny shivers of satisfaction danced up your spine as a low growl resonated deep in Five’s throat.
The way he was looking at you as he pleasured himself spoke of so much without him uttering a word. There was a flicker in his eyes, something pained.
His breathing was becoming more labored as he gave himself over to the feel of his hand.
His thighs were tensed, holding him upright as the expensive wool fabric of his dress pants slouched to his knees. He was so beautiful.
“I’m- I'm almost there," he gasped. 
He came at you, whipping aside your skirt with his free hand, just in time for the milky white burst of cum that started to spill out of him. It spurt out, up onto your stomach, and between your legs, dripping down your thighs as he shuddered and grasped, erratically jerking his hand at his sensitive tip with the final jolts of his release.
When Five felt the final waves of tension in him ease to an end, he let go of his cock, but not before giving the thickly engorged length one final pump, that made his eyes fall shut.
Stumbling forward, he collapsed into you, shuddering all over again.
“Holy fuck,” he breathed while shakily wiping his forehead with his forearm.
“You can say that again,” you agreed as his face nuzzled against your neck.
Looking out of it, Five glanced down between you. Even in the darkness he could see what he’d done, his release glistening all over your body and clothes.
“That was not exactly what I meant to do to you,” he apologized, as he immediately reached over to the shelf, swiping a roll of paper down so he could start cleaning his cooling seed off your stomach and even some that had flung up between your breasts, leaving chalky stains on your black blouse that there was no way his efforts could remedy.
As Five attempted to erase the visible evidence of what he’d done, to you, his expression appeared to be a mixture of fascination and shame, and before seeing that look on one face, you weren’t even sure those two emotions could happen at the same time, but with Five, you were starting to realize anything was possible.
Throwing the soiled towels to the floor, he silently reached up, releasing you from your restraints. Still not letting you go, his warm fingers rubbed your wrists, so tenderly as he lowered your arms and pressed a soft kiss to your temple, everything about his behavior so unlike his urgent kisses and crazed demands from before. 
It felt so good to be worried over by him like that. He pulled you firmly against him, his chin resting on your shoulder. The hold he had on you felt possessive but also is heartbreakingly desperate as you both took in the uncertain afterglow of something neither of you could put to words.
After a few minutes, you tried to push away enough to look him in the eye, but the moment you did, Five turned away from you and popped the door open.
“Five, what’s wrong?”
Not answering you, he stepped out, then he stopped a few feet from the door and looked down at his shoes, with his dark hair falling over his face.
“Five, wait,” you snapped at him when he started to walk away again.
Mid-step, his hands clenched at his sides. “No. Go back to your room and change, then go straight upstairs and tell them you need to be transferred to another office,” he quietly said, then walked away.
Part Four: Not Five’s Dolores
You did go straight to your room like Five had told you to do, but you didn’t go upstairs and request a transfer. You ended up being late for the session Five was leading, thanks to having to change, and fix your tear-streaked makeup, and pull your head together enough to face him, but as it turned out, as the other trainees filled out of the conference room an hour later, he wasn’t even in there with them.
He'd bailed and another agent had led the class.
Over the next week, Five was nowhere to be seen, which meant you had no mentor and had to buddy up with your roommate and hers, a middle-aged guy who was not at all as easy on the eyes as Five, but at least he hadn’t ruined you. That was about the best thing you could say about Barry Carponelli and his questionable shirt stains paired with the oppressive smell of stale cigarettes that always seemed to be wafting off him.
Five did not smell like that. Five was…
Five was an asshole.
After another training session, sparring with Agent Smelly, you slung your gym bag over your shoulder, ready to be done with all of it.
“Hey, kid,” Barry called after you. You turned. “You know, before I came down here to teach you girls how to do more than those pansy ass moves Five is always doing in here with you, I heard someone say that smug little prick was finally back. If I took that many days off, I’d be fired. I have no idea why they put up with him. You’re better off without him,” he said, then plucked a smoke out of his pack and strolled past, leaving you filled with renewed purpose.
This wasn’t over until you said it was. Fuck Five.
Racing up the stairs to the admin offices, you went straight to Five’s door, just as his assistant Derek was coming out. “Is Five available,” you asked.
“No. He just left for the day,” the small statured blonde male answered, looking at you curiously. “Do you need me to leave him a message?”
“No,” you quickly replied, glancing at Five’s office door. “I think I left one of my notebooks in there the other day. Do you mind if I go in and look for it?”
“Go ahead,” Derek said, opening Five’s office door wide, making it clear he’d be keeping an eye on you.
Politely nodding your thanks, you went in, heading for the couch, but as soon as you heard Five’s assistant getting distracted by someone else, you darted for the desk.
Pulling on the drawers, you realized most were locked. “Shit,” you quietly cursed, looking around the clean surface of Five’s workspace, but then you saw it. Sticking out from under a paperweight that was shaped like an umbrella that had been turned backwards by the wind, you saw a piece of mail. It was personal. It was a bill with Five’s address on it.
You smiled. “Found you, you bastard.”
A few hours later, just before sunset, you were in a shady neighborhood that was not at all where you’d expected Five to live based on his job and his outward appearance being that of someone that looked like they had much higher standards than the rundown building you were standing in front of.
Going inside wasn’t much better. Since the elevator was broken, you had to step over countless piles of trash in the fire escape stairwell on your way up the fifth floor.
By the time you had gotten to his door, you were second guessing yourself.
Raising your hand to knock, you finally came to your senses. Confronting Five would do nothing to change what had happened. First thing in the morning, you would put in your transfer paperwork.
Then, just as you were lowering your hand and turning to leave, a tall curly-haired guy, several years older than you, or more, opened the door. He looked as startled as you, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he looked you up and down.
“Tell them, I am not coming, and stop coming over without calling first! I told you I am fine!” Five yelled from somewhere in the apartment.
Saying nothing, the stranger looking back at you as he stood there wearing the strangest poncho made of bubble wrap, lifted a finger to his lips, silently motioning for you not to say anything, then he came out.
Once he’d shut the door, he said, “Hi. I am Klaus, Five’s brother. And you are?”
You said your name, and just as fast, his eyes lit up. “Right… I thought maybe it was you…” He grinned. “So…” He pulled his lips to the side. “I suppose you were here to tell off that angry little shit rat in there?”
“I was, but I changed my mind.”
“Since I’ve heard all about you, and I’m sure Five has told you all about me and the rest of his wonderful family, and your plans have changed, and it looks like neither of us have shit to do now, would you like to join me for a stroll to this really nice smoothie place a few blocks away? It’s got the best add-ins, like lemongrass and all sorts of other healthy crap that really boosts the old immune system and keeps the reaper away.”
Five told you nothing about Klaus and almost nothing about his personal life that didn’t relate directly back to his work at the CIA. He’d used you to get his rocks off and that was that, but you didn’t say that because something told you this peculiar Klaus guy already knew that his brother was a first class asshole..
Opening your mouth to decline, Klaus must have seen it coming, so he stuck out his bottom lip. “Pretty please… This neighborhood is scary, and I walked all the way over here to check in on that grumpy old man child and he’s being such a dick head, and I know something’s up with him other than his normal lonely mopey thing, but like always, he won’t talk about it. He’s always shutting us out and I know he likes you and something happened and-"
Taking a risk, you cut Klaus off. “You know what, I am in the mood from some anti-grim reaper juice.”
Giving you a toothy smile because he’d totally got you, the next thing you knew, you were being escorted down the street by Klaus Hargreeves, with him babbling on and on about things that seemed so far out there that they should have been part of a science fiction comic book rather than about what it was like growing up as part of something he called, The Umbrella Academy.
Hours later, after confirming Klaus was not on hallucinogenic drugs, or drunk, or just plain out of his mind, you had heard an earful and then some. After everything Five’s brother had told you, about them all being born with superpowers, their horrible alien father who adopted them, their  lives going to shit, to them all being stripped of their pasts and powers and left to fend for themselves in this new timeline, you didn’t know what to think.
It was clear that Klaus believed all of it. And he was very interested to hear your version about what had happened between you and Five, and when he did, like you’d suspected, he was not at all surprised by it.
“You’re the only one he’s ever done any of that with, and I mean like the only one, other than his plastic woman relationship thing. Five is not the bad person he thinks he is,” Klaus said, just before parting ways. “He’s just been through hell and back, over and over, and sometimes, I think he gets stuck not knowing how to move on from all that, you know…”
You didn’t know. You didn’t know what to think about any of this. What he’d said happened to Five was so bad, it was on another level of awful and unbelievable. Nobody would be okay after that, no matter how strong they were.
Piecing together the strange things Five had said to you, things like him being older than he looked, and that he’d done unredeemable things, it made sense now, but still…
Wow.
You did your best to act normal and not too weirded out. You liked Klaus. Klaus was the kind of person that was hard not to like, but it was hard not to be very weirded out.
Saying goodbye after you’d made sure Klaus was only a few blocks from his sister’s house, well out of the dangerous area of town that Five lived in, you were left alone again with your thoughts going haywire.
It was late, almost past midnight. Not even thinking about where you were heading, soon you were back, looking up at Five’s building.
Questioning your sanity, you lightly tapped on his door.
He didn’t come.
You knocked again, only louder.
A whole minute later and after several more knocks, startled and swaying as he flung his door open, Five blinked his eyes rapidly at you as if trying to clear his vision.
You looked down at the half-drained liquor bottle in his hand and the fuzzy dog slippers he had on his feet. To match his look of disheveled drunkenness, Five was wearing nothing but a dark blue bathrobe that came to just below his knees.  
“This was a very bad idea,” you said, under your breath, already turning to go.
Five’s voice cracked as he said your name. “…Please come back. I didn’t mean to-”
He wiped at his eyes.
Five took a small, very defeated looking breath. “I tried to leave you alone, but I just..”
“You just what?” you asked, coming back when he didn’t finish, stopping right in front of him with your fingers tapping at your hips.
Five held your accusing stare but just barely. “I just… I don’t deserve you and you could do a million times better than me.”
“Why because you’re a 63-year-old, ex-temporal assassin who’s stuck inside the body of an eighteen-year-old asshole who’s got his panties in a twist because he can’t teleport anymore?”
Forcing himself to stand up straighter even though it was clear that he was a drunk mess, Five swallowed, his face looking entirely serious. “Actually, we don’t call it teleporting. It’s called blinking, and you’re right, I can’t do that anymore, and if I wore panties, yes, they’d be in a twist about it.”
“Teleporting! Blinking! Five! What the hell difference does it make when I just walked into the twilight zone!”
Eyes wide, Five reached out, pulling you inside his apartment.
It was small, dimly lit, the furniture minimal. You could see almost all of it in just one quick glance. An outdated, beat-up kitchen on one side, two reading chairs next to an overflowing bookshelf made up his clean, but tiny living area. There was a bedroom door filled with darkness off to your left. Everything was old and used, but cozy looking. It was exactly the kind of unassuming hideaway you would have expected the extremely traumatized person Klaus had told you about would feel safe.
It was the embodiment of Five: the old man who’d cared about everyone else, but had given up on himself, and the innocent boy who’d been used and abused, who would never be able to stop fighting and hoping for a chance at something better.
“Do you believe it? Everything Klaus told you?” Five asked, looking at you with glossy eyes.
“I do.”
“Then why are you here?”
Pointing to the chair you were pretty sure Five had been sitting in based on the way the other looked like nobody ever sat in it, you let out a loud exhale. “Sit,” you ordered.
Five turned and stumbled back to his chair, dropping down in it clumsily, where he proceeded to almost spill his liquor, then slumped like a sad child that had just been told to go sit in the corner.
Coming over, kneeling in front of him, Five tried to put his legs together before you could position your body in a way that prevented it, but he didn’t move at all fast enough.
“Not this is how it’s going to go,” you said, gripping his knees. “I’m going to ask you something and you’re going to tell me the truth. Do you understand?”
Five nodded.
“Do you have feelings for me?” you asked.
“Yes.”
“What kind?” you countered.
“The kind that I shouldn’t have.”
You shook your head and spread his knees farther apart, making his terry cloth robe spread, exposing the snow-white skin of his inner thighs. “Elaborate,” you pushed. From what you could tell, Five wasn’t wearing any panties, just like he’d said. He wasn’t wearing anything.
The line between his eyes deepened as he answered you. “I have the kind of feelings for you that make me wish I was someone you could love.”
Slowly, you started moving your hands from his knees, heading under his robe, stopping just shy of the danger zone. “You don’t get to decide how I feel about you, Five. I can think for myself, but if you decide to push me away, that’s on you.”
Again, he nodded.
“I like you, Five and that means the you that I thought I knew but then decided to fuck things up and make me cry my eyes out.” You smiled even though that made him look even more miserable. “And I like that frisky old man in you that you’ve been trying and failing to keep hidden. Both are good men even if they act like jerk offs sometimes.”
A tear slipped down Five’s reddened cheek.
“You say you don’t deserve it, but I think, from what I’ve heard, you deserve the world, Five Hargreeeves.”
Five looked down at his lap, holding his breath.
Very carefully, your hand moved over him, gathering the silky length of flesh descended between his legs, lovingly fondling him.
“You need to realize that it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or what you’ve lost. You’re still worthy of love, and even if you weren’t and all that crazy shit your brother told me turned up to be some kind of dream I’d had in a moment of insanity while wallowing over you as I drank a delicious smoothie, I’d still want you. Even if you looked like the white-haired man grumping around up there in your head, I’d want you because under it all, you are sweet and kind and too smart for your own good and all kinds of scary sexy and I like all of that.”
As you relished in the feel of him getting hard, Five looked utterly defenseless even though you knew that was far from the truth. His tear-filled gaze was lazy and appreciative as he gazed at you, lying your heart out to him as you stroked his ego and his cock.
“Do you still want me?” you asked.
“Yes,” he replied.
You brushed aside the rest of Five’s bunched-up, funny old man robe, then came forward, resting your forearms on his warm thighs. Your hand tightened around his cock and kept moving as you looked up at him, his eyes looking droopy as his head rolled to one side.
“You don’t have to do-” Five started, but before he could finish what he was going to say, you were nuzzling him, your face at the crook of his leg and torso, tenderly kissing him there before you slowed your hand to a stop and licked the length of his dick, from the base to the tip, like it was the best thing you’d ever had in her face.
Five shivered.
Without hesitation, you started to suck, slowly running your tongue around and around the drip of translucent fluid that had already started leaking out of him.
“Mmmmm,” you hummed as you tasted him, the smooth pattern of your mouth moving over him, making Five grasp at his armrests as he tried and failed to bite back a broken moan.
Your contented humming continued as you let your tongue spread the wetness so you could push your mouth down, taking in more of him. Feeling the vibrations from your throat, Five’s head dropped back against his chair. He reached down with his left hand, shakily brushing your hair to the side so he could watch you sucking him off.
When your mouth met your fingers, you stopped working downward and began to move your head back up, never letting up with your tight lips or your tongue as it pressed along his length.
“Oh shit, that feels good!” Five whispered, his fingers moving through your hair as he very tentatively placed his hand on the back of your head. More soft curses came out of him on quickening breaths as you buried your nose in the small tuft of dark hair between his legs, taking him until your nose hit his pubic bone.
Gripping you tighter, holding you there and finding no resistance, Five deliriously questioned, “Are you sure this is okay?”
The second he let up, your head bobbed, your mouth making the most perfectly erotic squelching sounds as tears started to run down your red cheeks. Still, you didn’t stop.
The sight of him breaking you, but not, and you letting him do it, and the feeling of you loving him like this even at his lowest, sent what was left of Five’s restraint out the door.
Straining not to push you too much, Five’s hips started rocking upwards as you latched on to his upper leg with your other hand, supporting yourself as he pushed his cock deep, sending himself down your throat each time he rolled and fucked his body up into your mouth.
He was the one mostly dictating the speed and depth of each thrust, and the act was brutally degrading, but you didn't seem to care. Even the sound of you forcing your breaths through your nose was a turn on, and Five had to force myself not to say the string of dirty praises he had running through his head.
“I’m so... cl-close,” he stammered instead, in-between hardly contained grunts of the word fuck while forcing your head down and up again.
With his heels digging into the floor for leverage to lift him with each jerk of his hips, something in Five felt like it was shattering.
He took you all the way to the hilt again, holding you there until you started gagging and digging your nails into his leg. Then he did it again, and again.
Overwhelmed by what he was doing and how sick it was of him that he wanted to feel and see you struggle like that, in between thrusts, he let out sob like cries of thank you, and please, and fuck, and with those desperate words helplessly coming out of him, that deep seated feeling in his stomach that followed was impossible to ignore.
“I’m gonna come,” Five wept as he fisted your hair and frantically pumped himself in and out of your mouth as he began to ejaculate down your throat.
He kept incoherently moaning as his hips thrust in angry bursts of momentum.
When his body was done and his shudders had ceased, dizzy enough that the room felt like it was spinning, Five finally let go of you and you fell back on your heels, whipping at the line drool that had dripped from your mouth. You looked up at him, your nose a little runny and your eyes still wet, but somehow you still managed to smile for him and that broke Five even more.
Reaching out, Five ran his thumb across your cheek, collecting a remaining tear before his hand flopped to his side again. “I am so sorry for everything,” he whispered.
“I know,” you whispered back as you covered him back up, pulling his robe around him like he was helpless, which he was. When you walked to his bedroom and he didn’t follow because he was physically incapable at that moment, Five didn’t get to see your smile, but as you looked around in the dark at his boyishly blue quilt and saw the small, worn stuffed animal puppy dog lying on his bed, you knew once again that you weren’t wrong about him.
Snatching up a blanket that was neatly folded and placed by his pillow, you came back out, laying it over him.
Leaning in, you brushed Five’s hair from his forehead before you kissed his cooling skin, then you tiptoed away again. Turning back as you placed your hand on the doorknob, you saw him sleepily watching you, clearly wanting to say something, but like so often, not being able to find the right words.
“Goodnight, Five,” you said, then you left.
Part Five: Perfectly Wrong
The next day, the second you entered his office, Five rushed to the door, locking it, then he grabbed you by the waist, tugging you closer. “Where the hell have you been, I have been losing my mind up here,” he declared while lowering his head to yours, bringing your faces within a whisper's length. 
“I have been working, that’s why I’m here, remember?” You laughed then said, “I wasn’t scheduled to meet with you until afternoon.” You looked at the clock then smiled. “Which is right now.”
Five didn’t look satisfied with that, so you kissed him, then pulled away, leaving him cutely puckering at air with his dark lashes fanning his cheeks so handsomely.
“For a man that once could control time, you seem very confused about how it works,” you teased.
“No shit. If that isn’t the understatement of the year,” he smarted back while giving you an adorable smirk. “I am impatient, impossible to deal with, and so horny for you that they should lock me up to protect you. All that made me think you’d changed your mind about me, that or I’d dreamed you coming to my apartment last night to tell me off, but then, instead, I ended up getting the first blow job of my long pathetic life and finished that mind blowing experience by getting tucked into my recliner like the big baby invalid I am.”
“I didn’t change my mind about you, and you didn’t dream that. I still like you, and our totally taboo, mentor fucking with his student, scandalizing age gapped, dirty talking, panty wetting, dry humping, cry fest of a relationship we have. Speaking of my training and it being your job to see to it that I succeed, I can’t quite understand how things work around here as they relate to my future and what they expect out of me as a fully sworn in agent.”
“Oh...? You read the 3000 page mission statement, but you still need my help figuring that out?” Five offered back, playing along.
You leaned in and whispered hotly in his ear. “I do. Will you help me?” 
“I’d do anything for you,” Five breathed back, nudging your nose with his to make you smile as he peered at you through the strands of his hair that had just fallen in his face.
“Maybe you could lay it all out for me, right here on the top of your desk? Show me how you navigate all these complicated protocols and endless hours of typing up boring intelligence reports. With all the talking and writing up briefings, your fingers and mouth must get so tired. I know mine do. What then? What other tools do you have on you to get you through those super hard, long days?”
Five tipped you back on his desk, his hands moving down your back to support you until you were resting on your elbows. “As a fully sworn in agent, I steer myself around any obstacles in my way, ruthlessly and rudely ignoring anything and anyone that dares to get in my way.” He pushed the bulge forming in his pants between your legs. “When it comes to protocols, I throw them out the window and do what I want because I have never been good at following anyone’s rules but my own. And when I get tired of talking and my fingers get fatigued from all the typing, I say fuck it and really start breaking the rules and let my dick do the talking for me, proving why it was a very bad idea to make me your mentor and that I’m a huge pervert. Would you like me to elaborate on that?”
“Yes,” you said, burying your fingers in Five’s hair, using it as an anchor to draw his mouth to yours as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders while trapping him with your legs around his waist.
Sliding his hands under your bottom, Five pulled you closer to his need, brushing his face at your neck as he sucked on and kissed, his warm breaths tickling your skin.
“Tell me what you want. I mean it, I’d do anything for you,” Five insisted, all teasing aside, speaking into your skin as you gripped his firm backside and fooled around with his hair in that way he loved.
“Because you're a bad boy and I am a very bad girl, I want you to break all the rules with me right now,” you whispered. 
Five let go of your hips where his hands had been rhythmically tugging you against him.
“Jeez-us, fuck you are trouble,” he breathlessly hissed as you reached down and started undoing his pants.
Five couldn’t contain his groan as you pulled his dick out and started to rub him. You flashed him your teeth as you smiled, enjoying yourself immensely as he careened into your grasp.
Giving you the hardest look he could muster considering what you were doing to him, Five pulled your hands away, guiding them both back behind you so he could press them down on his desk, under the pressure of his palms.
“Leave them here,” he sternly ordered, though there was no holding back his amused smile.
You nodded while sucking in your bottom lip as you coyly looked up at him from underneath your lashes.
Once Five was sure you were going to stay put, he let go of your hands, then he pressed himself closer to you again while bracing you from behind with one hand, bringing the other between your legs, yanking your panties aside.
As his fingers slid inside you, you dropped your head back, watching him with narrowed eyes.
“You’re really all in?” he asked, knowing you were, only wanting to hear you say it again.
“Yes, Five. I want all of you,” you begged, as you looked down at his cock, then up at him distraughtly.
Gripping himself, Five slipped his fingers out of you, replacing them with the softness of skin on skin and the warm, girthy head of his cock, gliding it back and forth as he wet himself at your entrance, then prodded and rubbed against your clit, back and forth.
“Fuck me, you're amazing,” Five cursed, unable to contain it when he finally felt what it was like to do this with his bare cock slicked against a body that was warm and forgiving.
He rocked himself against you, marveling over the simple pleasure of it, and he could have probably been held rapt forever by just that, but you’d said you wanted it all, and fuck..so did he.
“Are we okay like this?” he asked, meaning without protection.
“Yes, please…fuck yes!" you moaned, and he swore the look on your face could have killed a lesser man.
Getting the go ahead, Five ran his cock through your folds again, making sure he was wet enough to enter you. Then, carefully, drawing it out with a slow steady motion, he started pushing himself into you. Your warm walls clenched around his rounded tip, fighting it, but you didn't tell him to stop, so he moved inside deeper, whimpering because it felt so good to finally feel what this was like.
With Five’s thick cock opening you wider than it seemed possible, you threw your head back, panting his name and assurances to keep going, forcing your body to accept him. Feeling your tightness quivering around his length, unable to contain himself any longer, Five slowly started to move in and out, watching your face carefully for any signs of pain.
Once it was clear that he wasn’t hurting you, he smiled darkly, then very lowly warned, "Be quiet, or I’ll give you a reason to get really loud and then we both will have to start looking for new jobs.” 
Immediately going faster, his hips thwacking against you harder and harder, Five leaned forward over you again, kissing the exposed area of your neck and upper shoulder. 
When you let out a loud gasp, his hand flew over your mouth, then he increased the pace and angle of hips, rolling them in and out, fucking to a softer rhythm that felt so fucking good and made him look even more like he was the God of fuck he was.
“You are so fucking tight. This feels so…fuck,” he breathed before whipping his head back, trying to get his hair out of his eyes. As if he wasn’t doing you just fine already, hoisting your legs up a little more, Five pulled himself out a little, attentively working his tip in a way that pushed upwards, increasing the pressure building inside you in a way that made your head rolled back on your shoulders and your legs around his waist go limp.
“Oh, fuck, Five, yes, like that,” you cried out from under his hand.
“I fucking love you so much,” he moaned back, his eyes on yours as he bore down on you.
His dick pumping back and forth inside you even faster, Five’s brain took a second or two to catch up to what he’d just said. Breaking out in a sweat, his hand coming off your mouth, letting you breathe, he suddenly looked horrified, but that was only until you began to wildly thrust yourself back against him, using your ankles by digging them into his back.
Your fingernails tore into his back through his vest and dress shirt as he pushed his tongue against yours.
Slipping farther and farther into subspace every time his cock barred inside you, the more intense the lightning storm inside him got. His thoughts had grown hazy, and all Five knew was he was in heaven. 
He was slamming into you, harder and harder, and all you could do was hold on, keeping yourself locked to him as you clung to the sides of his desk. You felt that sweet aching pressure down in your lower abdomen. Your back arched. You felt your heart pounding between your legs as Five began to come violently cum, his cock throbbing inside of you as he fell into stuttering movements, having been totally taken off guard by the intensity with how hard the height of his pleasure hit him.
The scent of his cum in the air, of sweat gathering on your bodies and the sound of your heavy breathing, the sounds of your lover’s kisses returning to your lips, urgent, insistent, desperate….
It was perfect.
Five didn’t stop working his hips, pulling his cock in and out of you. Bringing his hand between your legs, all it took was the slightest touch of his fingers getting into the game and a few more pumps of his hips, making his cum drizzle hotly out of you onto his desk and you were falling apart, your body trembling through your equally intense release.
Slowing to a stop, Five smiled into your neck, slowly kissing you as he ran his hand down your side. He didn’t want to pull away, but he also didn’t want to force you to stay like that, spread out with him heedlessly leaning between your legs. On top of that, he could hear Derek talking just outside his door.
After a moment more of proudly grinning over what had just happened, he pulled away.
“Are you sure about me?” he asked, uncertain, yet playing it like a joke, not so brazen and sure of himself when you weren’t withering against him.
“I am sure, and that was, holy fucking wow, Five,” you praised, as you reached out, tenderly brushing back a piece of his hair that had stuck to his forehead.
Five’s ego was quickly restored. You always knew exactly what he needed, when he needed it. It was as if you understood him better than he understood himself and you were ok with who he was even when he wasn’t.
“You are making this way too easy for me,” he pointed out. 
“I ah… I should probably go,” you said as you grinned at him, momentarily distracted as he looked down at your legs dangling around his. He was so fucking hot.
“Shoot,” he laughed, rolling his eyes to his ceiling, then back to yours. “I meant to show you that my mouth is good for more than delivering sarcastically slights and even better clever commentary. Maybe there’s still time,” he teased, hands moving under your legs as he lowered himself, about to throw your legs over his shoulders and bury his face between the mess he’d made between your legs.
Derek knocked on the door.
“Fuck,” he laughed, jumping up, swinging your legs together, whipping you upright like you weighed nothing. His jaw pumped in agitation but that didn’t change his massive smile. “As much as I hate it, we really need to save that lesson for another time. Not that I care if I get fired, it’s just…You know,” he rambled, racing to zip up his pants and tuck his shirt back in.
“Another time then,” you chirped as you scooted off his desk, your heels landing softly on the floor.
As Five went to the door, unlocking it, before Derek tried to open it and come in, you came up behind him, hugging him from behind, your cheek falling against his as he tried to turn back. “I love you too, Five,” you whispered, then let him go just as the door started to open.
Stepping past Derek, you looked over your shoulder at Five, and said, “Thanks again for helping me, ahh…with figuring all that out.”
“Anytime. That’s what I am here for,” Five replied, his hand running over his mouth to hide his wicked grin.
As Derek looked at him in question, clearly aware that something was up, totally smitten, Five took the file he was handing him, but his eyes remained glued to you.
“It looks like those few days off did you some good. Are you feeling better?” Derek questioned, as he looked over at the papers pushed off of Five’s desk that were now laying on the floor. He smiled. 
“Yes, much better,” Five breathed, coming to his senses, but only after you’d turned the corner, blowing him a secret kiss.
For the first time in his life, Five knew what it was like to feel the love he’d always longed for, and it was all because of you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~As always, thanks for reading. Let me know if you liked this. ❤️~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Link to my Five Centric Master List
Link to all my Tumblr art and story posts under my tag
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liminalmemories21 · 2 months ago
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Ficlet (911 - Buck/Tommy)
Inspired by this thirst trap
(and @cecilyv said this was sufficient unto itself and didn't need to go further)
He's three hours into a 48 when he gets the first one.
He's used to a string of texts, voice messages, videos from Evan when he gets back to base and has time to check his phone.  Doesn't think twice about clicking on this one.  Stares at it open mouthed, and then hits play again immediately.
Lucy peers over his shoulder and gives a low whistle.  "Damn."
From across the break room Garvey calls out.  "Share with the class."  When Tommy flips him off he adds.  "It's your duty."
He looks up at that.  "It's my duty to share the thirst traps my boyfriend sends me?"
Knows it was a mistake when Garvey gets up and comes over to lean against the back of the couch to try and see his phone.  He twists his head.  "Didn't know you played for this team, Garvey."
Garvey shoves at his shoulder.  "I don't, but I'm bored, and I wanna see what's making Donato's eyes bug out."  And, well, as thirst traps go it's ... well he's not sure what it is, but it's not showing anything Garvey couldn't see if he showed up at the 118 gym, so...  He hits play.
It is, technically speaking, a thirst trap.  Evan is shirtless, just wearing thin well worn sweatpants - and, Tommy suspects from how low they hang, nothing else.  Acres of skin and tattoos on display.  He's also vacuuming.  Garvey blinks at him when the video ends.  Finally says, in a faintly shocked tone.  "Kinky."
Tommy has to laugh.  Doesn't think much of it.  Except, there's another one waiting for him when he gets back to base.  This time Evan's folding a fitted sheet.  Tommy recognizes it as one of his, and then recognizes the edge of his couch behind Evan, and realizes he's used the key Tommy gave him a few months ago to go and do his laundry.  To be fair Evan'd had an equal hand in getting those sheets dirty, but still the thought of getting to go home at the end of his 48 to clean sheets, and clean towels, and neatly folded laundry, and, knowing Evan, a fridge full of neatly portioned food is ... it makes something warm curl and stretch in his heart, like a contented cat.  He doesn't need to be taken care of, he's been on his own for decades.  But, someone who wants to take care for him, that's something he'd been starting to think he'd never get to have.
They come at irregular intervals after that - Evan baking, Evan washing the dishes, Evan setting up coffee - always shirtless, always in those low slung pajama pants that get lower with each video.  If Garvey keeps looking over his shoulder eventually he might see something that'll scar him.  Tommy will enjoy it though. 
Garvey peers at the one of Evan washing dishes, and says dubiously, "And this does it for you?"
It does actually, to an embarrassing degree, but he doesn't actually feel like sharing that particular fact.  Lucy unexpectedly comes to his rescue, elbows Garvey sharply.  "Nothing is hotter than a man who does housework."
Garvey looks skeptical.  "Yeah, you think Carol would think it's hot if I did the dishes just wearing my boxers?"
Lucy and Marcus both snort.  Marcus slaps Garvey on the back.  "Garvey, you do the dishes without being asked and Carol's gonna call me and ask if you had a head injury recently she doesn't know about."  Which is rude, but fair.
He texts Evan / you're getting quite a following over here / .... / you might have to start an OnlyFans page /
/ Only fan I'm interested in is you / is the response he gets back instantly
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majinbangus · 15 days ago
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I NEED MORE FERAL 141 🙏 🙏 🙏
(when you are free and willing of course 🥺🥺)
》 18+ if you fail to keep one of them in check, another will do it for you (but the end result is still the same)
You choke on a moan, tears spilling from your waterline as another orgasm rips through you. It's violent and messy just like the man between your legs. He's got you pinned, one large hand holding down your wrist so you can't push his head away and the other leaving bruises along your hips and thighs, soft flesh already mottled with little indentations of his bite.
"G-Ghost..."
He doesn't acknowledge you like he's supposed to, getting a little mean with a nip to your swollen clit. You bite back a whine.
"Ghost... the, the others-"
They're waiting patiently for their turn. Like you trained them to be. But a glance at them tells you they're getting impatient. Ghost is going over his time. You need to get control of the beast between your legs. Decide who's next because that's your decision to make. But maybe it was a mistake to let Ghost go first.
You thought it would be fair. You always try to alternate the order, but clearly Ghost isn't in the mood to play nice today. That's on you. You knew he was a bit antsy today. Next time you'll do better.
"Ghost-"
The savage snarl he lets out reminds you to be careful of such a wild creature, but you can't do anything about it because he yanks you closer, and envelopes your aching core with his mouth. "I'm not done."
Muffling a cry, all you can do is throw your head back, squirming under your misbehaving brute.
"That's enough, Ghost."
You gasp in relief when the man is pulled off you. Your saving grace is the captain. He forces Ghost to kneel, restraining him so he can't overwhelm you anymore.
"Thank," you inhale deeply, "thank you, Price. You... You can go next."
Although, you're thinking maybe you should postpone the other three's turns until later. It doesn't seem fair, but you might not be able to handle them currently.
"Actually, I have another idea." Price tightens his grip on Ghost, a calculating glint in his eyes that Ghost returns with a glare. "If you don't mind that is."
Interest piqued, you wonder what he could want. "Sure? You deserve a little reward. What were you thinking?"
You thought maybe he would want extra time with you, or possibly something else of a similar nature, but you never expected Price to want this.
"How does she feel, lads?"
Gaz gives a lazy roll of his hips, teasing the back of your throat. "Warm, sir."
"And sloppy," Soap adds, thrusting up into your cunt with a groan. "But good. Really good, sir."
Price smirks from his place behind you, fucking into your ass while Ghost is forced to watch, tied to a chair how Price wanted him to be. "And all ours to share. Right, Ghost?"
The man stays silent, but you can see him strain against the rope that binds him to the chair. It doesn't matter to Price. He picks up his rhythm and the other two follow suit.
The pace is something fierce. Relentless. A torturous pleasure rips through you, but there's nowhere to go. You're pinned just like you were earlier.
This may be a lesson for Ghost, but you think they all need more practice in restraint.
-
a desire of mine is for price to cuck ghost✌️
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delirious-donna · 8 months ago
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A Shaky Arrangement [Part Three]
story summary: Your best friend lets you crash at her place over the spring break since you have nowhere else to go. Little did you know that it isn't actually her place. Instead, it belongs to a tall (grumpy) hot guy who finds you in his apartment–her brother.
chapter summary: You've nowhere else to go, surely he wouldn't kick you out so easily? You are so very attractive after all...
pairings: Nanami Kento x female reader
warnings: sibling bickering, mentions of food, SFW
Part Two | Series Masterlist | Part Four
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Kento scowled.
He sat stiffly on the leather couch that occupied most of the living room space, watching as you took container after container out of a brown paper bag with a grease stain pooling at the bottom. The desire to march to the kitchen and find the surface spray and kitchen towel to wipe up any damage to his coffee table was rampant. But he didn’t. He sat still with a growing grimace.
“You think you could stop scowling at me?” you said from your spot on the floor, sitting cross-legged with your back to him. “I can feel your distaste crawling up my spine.”
“I am not scowling,” he lied mulishly.
“Yes, you are, but whatever. I did ask if you wanted to add anything to the order. You were the one to turn your nose up at Chinese takeout. I guess you’re used to the finer things in life, Mr Nanami.”
His mouth opened to respond, but he snapped it shut just as quickly. He would not get into a petty argument over his preference of cuisine. The sinking feeling of resignation reared its head once more. Could he honestly share his apartment with you for the next two weeks without you both at each other’s throats?
“Remind me again why am I even considering hosting you?” He half hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and sat forward in his seat until his elbows were braced upon his knees.
You paused. The chopsticks you were using to pile rice onto an expensive-looking plate froze in midair. At last, you twisted your neck to look around, adopting a sheepish expression.
He was right, as annoying as that fact might be.
This was his home, and he had every right to send you on your merry way, whether you had somewhere to stay or not–the latter being the case. You were sharply reminded of his stricken features when you explained your plight. How he had grabbed up the glass which you had just finished draining of whatever potent amber liquor he preferred and went looking for a refill. A large one. A large one which he swallowed in one long gulp.
Kento had the same eyes as his sister, Karin. They were rich hazel, and they had the strange ability to lighten or darken depending on their mood. They crackled like popping logs in a roaring hearth when joyful or amused and darkened to the deepest mahogany when angered or upset. This you noticed as he questioned you over and over, his fingers running ruefully through his hair and those eyes that followed your every nervous jerk or twitch became pits of darkness.
“Sorry,” you said quietly. “Are you sure I can’t tempt you into sharing something with me? I ordered way too much, there will be leftovers for days if you don’t.” It was your version of a peace offering. Anything to prevent him from backtracking on the shaky agreement you had reached.
Kento’s nose wrinkled in distaste at the thought of leftovers crowding his fridge and the smells that might permeate into the fresh produce or homemade meals that were labelled and waiting to be eaten.
With a long sigh, he lowered himself to the floor and sat by your left elbow. “Fine. It is probably wise for me to put something other than alcohol in my stomach anyway. Serve yourself what you want and I’ll have what is left.”
“Aye, captain!”
“Don’t do that,” he scolded, rolling his eyes at your salute, but there was no heat in the words. If anything, he was amused and you smiled knowingly to yourself as you began to dig into the meal.
He must be truly mad to be entertaining this prospect, but there was something he liked about you, even if he tried his best to deny it. You pushed back against him. It was refreshing. Kento enjoyed your quick wit and the ease with which you conversed with him. Sure, it was often at his expense but it was enjoyable in a way it never had been before.
As the youngest ever senior partner at work, he commanded respect from all. The junior partners and even those on the governing board often bowed their heads in reverence when in his presence. Yet it wasn’t so long ago that he had been a fresh-faced college graduate eager to reach his current lofty heights and he wondered absently if you possessed the same drive and determination. You certainly weren’t easily intimidated.
“Do you have a girlfriend, Mr Nanami?”
So lost in thought, Kento almost missed your question. It took him a moment to process and when it finally hit home, he nearly choked on his bite of peking duck.
“Excuse me?” he spluttered, banging a fist on his chest to clear the blockage in his throat.
Your cheeks warmed in amusement, impishly shrugging whilst you toyed with the remnants on your plate. It had been on your mind for a little while now. Your host was handsome—a thought you kept coming back to no matter how hard you tried to ignore it.
“I said, do you have a girlfriend?” you repeated.
“I don’t see what business that is of yours.”
He busied himself with rolling back the sleeves of his pristine white button up. Your lips quirked before you blew out a puff of air.
“Come on. It’s a simple question, no? Since you’ve agreed to give me a place to stay, surely I should know if I might run into someone else whilst I’m here.”
You had a point, and that bugged him. He was about to answer when you went on, nudging your elbow into his side and he caught a whiff of his body wash on your skin.
“Boyfriend then?” You baited him, though there would be no shame in it if he were more inclined towards his own sex. Other than perhaps the briefest disappointment. No! Shut that down now, you thought to yourself.
“Neither. If you must know.” He levelled an unimpressed stare in your direction and wiped his hands on a napkin.
How annoying the flare of hope that illuminated in your chest upon hearing his answer was. It had no place here, and you did your best to flatten your features into neutrality. You failed.
“I do, however, have a cleaner that visits each morning for a few hours to keep the place how I like it. I will alert Mrs McGarden that I have a guest so that she doesn’t enter your room without consent.” He nodded his head as if that was the end of the matter, trying and failing not to notice how you chewed your lip as if you were deep in thought. Cute.
“Speaking of rooms…” you trailed off as the first wave of tiredness hit you square in the face. It was early by your standards but the day had been filled with ups and downs like nothing you’d experienced before. “Where will I be sleeping?”
It was an innocent enough question, or you had meant it that way, but the lull that Kento left hanging over you both felt thick with something tangible but unknown. Right now your suitcase was still spread open wide on what you now knew to be his bed and you surely wouldn’t be sleeping there.
Before he could answer, his phone rang from the kitchen island, shrill and loud. “Excuse me a moment,” he said, hurriedly moving for the device and slipping down the hallway until he was out of sight.
“I can explain! Don’t yell.” The familiar voice said the second the phone was to his ear. Karin had finally braved his wrath and called back.
“I’ll give you two minutes.”
“Kento! I am not one of your underlings. Not that it matters, shut up. What was I saying?” Karin hissed through the phone and even without seeing her he knew that she was pushing hair out of her face as she always did when she was flustered or annoyed.
He sighed and silently counted to three. “Two. Minutes. Explain.”
“You’re meant to be out of the country, why aren’t you? I didn’t think you’d ever find out,” she hurried on, not waiting for an answer. Kento had long since known when not to interrupt his sister in full flow. “Mrs McGarden assured me that she would keep silent and I was only trying to help out a friend. She tried to refuse my offer. Said she’d find a couch or two to sleep on instead, can you imagine? You haven’t… kicked her out, have you?”
“I was firmly coerced into taking a vacation instead of attending the conference hence my presence. It seems I need to have words with Mrs McGarden as to where her loyalties lie, and no, I have not kicked your friend out,” he answered the questions in the order they were given, turning on the spot in his bedroom. “Though I have been sorely tempted,” he lied.
Karin audibly harrumphed. “Don’t lie, Kento, it’s not a good trait.”
“Who says I’m lying?”
“Oh, whatever. I don’t have time for your little temper tantrum. Y’know… I think she might be a good influence on you, relax you a little. You’re on vacation so maybe spend some time with your guest? She is very dear to me and I’ve got a lot of explaining to do since I never mentioned you to her.”
Kento could hear the genuine worry in her voice and it cooled some of the fires of his anger. His shoulders slumped and half-heartedly he agreed, even if he didn’t have any intention to do as Karin suggested. He would keep to himself and hope that you did the same.
He returned to the living room but found it empty. Glancing to the side he found you in the kitchen washing up the plates and humming. For a moment he simply stood and watched. Considering he had only just met you, he didn’t mind seeing you in his space and the words of his sister echoed in his mind.
“You didn’t need to do that,” he stated, finally making his presence known once more.
Smiling, you shrugged him off. “It was the least I could do, don’t worry about it.”
“Uh, Karin sends her apologies for the mixup. She assures me that she will make it up to you and explain everything when you see her next. Shall we pick a room for you now?”
Your chin jutted out, a wrinkle forming between your eyebrows at the mention of his sister. Kento could tell that Karin was going to be in for hell, and rightly so, when you reunited.
“Yes please, I’m pretty tired after… well, you know,” you stammered with an awkward laugh.
He did indeed know, though he would rather forget. Instead, he held out his arm for you to step ahead of him and followed you discreetly towards the two bedrooms that you could choose from.
The first was on the right and nearest to the living space, this was the room that Karin occupied when she visited and her mark was firmly stamped upon the interior. Kento watched from just outside the doorway as you tried and failed not to wince at the baby blue walls and the mountains of overstuffed pillows piled atop a cream bedspread with lace and frills.
In the corner stood her old dollhouse, untouched and in pristine condition thanks to a certain cleaner with whom he still needed to have several words with. You froze before it, curiosity lighting in your eyes and slowly you bent to inspect through the windows where the tiny families resided.
Before he could speak, you whirled around and brushed past with a soft apology for coming so close to him. Again, he could smell his body wash on you and he liked it even more this time.
“I don’t think this room will do,” you mused with downcast eyes.
“Not fond of dolls?” he guessed in what was more meant to be a joke but your guilty expression told him he had hit the nail on the head.
“There is another room, but… it’s next to my own. I hope you won’t mind?” Kento stalked forward and tilted his head in the direction of the room next to his.
You trotted after him and away from the prying eyes of the dolls in their fancy house, vowing silently not to enter that room again. You reached for him, anxious fingers clinging to the shirt encasing his bicep and tugging like a frightened child might do. It was his turn to freeze, his stare fixed on where you held him until he found your eyes and questioned the gesture without a word.
“You won’t tell her, will you? I just…” You shook your head and feigned a smile, you were being silly after all. “Nightmares as a child, that’s all.”
“My lips are sealed.” He smiled kindly until your hand fell away. “Now, come inside and see if this will do.”
He didn’t know what he’d do if it wasn’t, although he didn’t expect you were an overly demanding house guest even with the little he knew about you. He wasn’t above giving you his bed if it were necessary but it would be a last resort.
This room was decorated in soft pastel shades that were far less bright than the blue of Karin’s. The bed was turned down with what appeared to be an identical grey duvet to the one in the master bedroom.
There was a small vanity set opposite the window and a writing desk in the far corner. Everything was neutral in here, wiped clean as if it had never been occupied and it made you feel safe and warm.
“It’s perfect.”
Sitting on the corner of the bed, you glanced at Kento who stood respectfully in the door. He wasn’t looking at you, instead his eyes were wandering as if he were checking everything was clean enough. His frame filled the doorway, shoulders broad and imposing. Except you didn’t find him imposing, and that was the problem.
He must be at least five years older than you, not that you cared, you were a young woman not a teenager. You were reminded of how long you had gone without a boyfriend or even a lover. One night stands and casual situationships were never your thing so it had been some time since you had last felt an attraction like you did now.
This whole day felt like a fever dream.
You needed to rein in your train of thoughts but it was hard when Kento took a step deeper inside and the air seemed suddenly thick like syrup. His hands were deep in his pockets and finally he blew out a breath, making it easier for you to breathe too.
“If you’re sure. I’ll go grab your suitcase and bag for you,” he offered quietly.
It had to be your imagination but it seemed like he was struggling as much as you were. Although likely for a different reason. You were an unexpected guest and he very much seemed the type of person who was set in routine. You nodded your thanks and let him slip away.
“He is your best friend’s brother, get your act together woman! Stop lusting over him,” you scolded yourself in a hushed whisper.
It was going to be a long two weeks, that was for sure.
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gatorbites-imagines · 18 days ago
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Kinktober day 13
Jason Todd + Masks or Helmets
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Hi guys, hows everyone doing lately? Im tired, but what else is new. Such is the waters of life, or whatever they say. I have no idea where I was going with this, enjoy. Kind of goes hand in hand with the Jason prompt from last year, which you can read here. This is more focused on their relationship, so it might be a little bland.
2024 kinktober masterlist.
What you and Hood shared didn’t have a name. you weren’t officially dating or anything, but you only messed around with each other, if that made sense. He got you stuff in leather, and let you fondle his body, when and when he wasn’t wearing that latex bodysuit. It got you both going, and helped keep the edge off when things got annoying. Plus, he was hot as hell, even if you had never seen his face.
Him wearing his helmet always seemed to add a bit of an edge to what you two did, especially when your hands followed the shiny surface of the black latex suit he wore, only to see it follow up under the helmet. There was a small seam just below his head, before the helmet started, but that was all. It left you almost dizzy just thinking about it, wondering what was beneath it all.
Of course, you didn’t get to see beneath it for a long time, even when Hood got wacked hard enough in the head that he could barely stand on is own two feet, and you had to drag him to Leslie’s. Leslie was used to seeing you, both of you. You liked to fight, and Hood just always ended up fighting whether he wants too or not. All the leather you wore was pretty damn recognizable too, making you a memorable sight.
At least, it would have made you memorable, if this wasn’t Gotham. Most folk were too busy trying to survive this shithole to worry about what anyone wore, only checking if it was the uniform of some rogue or gang, before going on their way. The red streaks to your outfits were enough to let people know you were one of Hoods, and that’s all they needed to know.
You knew Joker had gotten out some days before, and that he had finally been picked up by the bats again, after causing more death than that clown should be allowed too. You hadn’t even needed to check the news or anything, since Hoods pacing and ranting was enough to tell you that the clown was out again. If it were up to you, then Joke would have been dead a long time ago, would do a lot of good in your opinion.
It got to a point where you felt like Hood was gonna burst a blood vessel, so you had to resort to the good ol, rub his torso and try and calm him down. He was wearing the same latex as always, his angry breathing loud enough for his helmet to pick it up. Hood sounded like some kind of angry dragon about to breath fire all over you, or maybe that was just you making things up.
The helmet was blank, the white eyes doing nothing but staring at you with no feeling or tell of what was going through his head. You had learned some of his tells over all the time, at least what Hood allowed you to see of him. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to know when he was angry, stressed, sad, or whatever else he might feel that could hinder him as a leader.
Him leaning his head back to flash his latex covered throat was a bit new though, his shoulders slumping as he exhaled loudly, clearly debating on something inside his head. Hood had a lot of thoughts, a lot of it that he never shared with any of you and kept to himself. That was just how Hood was, he had at least gotten better at sharing when something could involve you guys, sometimes.
You almost wanted to pull your hands off his torso where they had been rubbing his stomach through the shiny material, when he reached up to grab his helmet. It felt illegal to see what was beneath it, your hands tensing up with the instinctual want to cover your eyes. Seeing Hoods face felt so wrong, like something you should never be allowed to do.
It left you a bit stumped as the helmet came off, only to reveal… another mask. Or rather, another hood. You didn’t know too much about the whole, gimp culture, at least you thought it was one of those masks. Except it had some kind of mesh material covering his eyes and mouth, still leaving his eyes a mystery to you.
You were speechless, and you were rarely speechless. Hood barely looked like himself as he shucked his jacket and shirt off, herding you backwards until you were sitting in his chair, in his office. Having someone as large as Hood kneeling between your knees was still new and uncomfortable in its own way, but also nice, good.
He clearly didn’t want this to go anywhere, as he avoided rubbing against the obvious hardness sticking to your thigh through the tight material of your leather pants. Instead, Hood just pressed his forehead against your knee and sighed loudly, rubbing his head from side to side, like he just needed something.
With slight hesitation, you finally just decided to say fuck it. There was a guy in the sewers who looked like a crocodile, a chick who controlled plants, and you were pretty sure there was a bird cult in the city. So, who where you to judge that your boss, who’d clearly shown you that he was into this whole thing, was into this whole thing.
With a soft exhale you just place one of your leather gloved hands on the back of his sleek head, moving it in slow motions back and forth. Rubbing from the back of his head, down between his shoulders, and back up again. It felt almost like scrubbing the hood of a car, not that you legally owned one. But you’d painted and waxed enough cars for the motions to be familiar.
You felt kinda bad comparing your Boss to a car getting waxed, but what he wore left him shiny like one, so you couldn’t really help it. Hood clearly wasn’t gonna get all soft and pliable like you’d seen in videos online, not in some place as dangerous as his office. The only place that was good enough for that was his safehouses, you hoped. The guy needed some time to just turn off his brain and do what he liked, but realistically no place was ever safe enough for that in Gotham.
Sitting here rubbing your crime bosses hooded head wasn’t ever on your plans for the future. But it was nice in a way, if you didn’t think too much about it. There was a familiar throb between your thighs that told you that your body definitely liked it, you just had to turn the thought in your head for a bit, maybe even do some research on whatever it was Hood was into.
Latex, full head covering, and masks wasn’t really your thing, but if Hood was into it enough, then yeah, you’d learn about it. He had always been a nice guy, in the way crime bosses could be nice, and you had this whole, strange relationship going on, which made it worth learning about.
Maybe next time, when he wasn’t this worked up, Hood could actually tell you about it. For now, though, you just sat there and comforted him, in that strange way he seemed to need. But everything in Gotham was weird, so maybe this wasn’t as strange as it felt. Not weird, maybe you should just call it new instead. It was new, and you were happy to explore it with Hood, if he allowed it.
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hoshiina · 4 months ago
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pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)
request: Hii im the anon who ask for the wips and i saw the blurbs you have. IM VERY MUCH HOOKED with the third ones where hoshina loves reader's smile🥹 relating to that maybe i would like to add(if you want, but feel free to do seperate if you want) soft moments with hoshina x reader who felt like she being the most pessimistic person regarding love(not anti but just felt like she doesn't deserve it) so she is on denial when hoshina make a move on her
notes: reader is usually rather energetic, talkative reader, hoshina thinks you are "beautiful" at some point, TYSM FOR THE REQ!! sorry it took so long omg
wc: 1300
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Something was wrong— terribly wrong. There was no way someone would want you, let alone your vice-captain who could have anyone in the world. Not your vice-captain who did everything with such care and looked after everyone so preciously. And definitely never your vice-captain you were terribly in love with.
There must be some mistake. Or else he wouldn’t have just said what you thought he said.
“Pardon me?” you asked.
He looked a little flustered and you had never seen such an expression on him, confusing you further. “I love you,” he said again, softly. “I’d love to know if you’re in a relationship.”
The way he spoke so carefully added to how nervous it made you feel— it was so different from how he usually talked to you. Now, you were lost to say the least, because you couldn’t think of one reason why he would like you, let alone romantically. Under normal circumstances, you’d assume you were being played with or that this was a silly prank or dare, but you knew that Hoshina wasn’t one to do something so horrible. So what was happening?
“I am not…” you said, still confused, but the visible relief in his eyes made your heart tighten. Oh gosh, is he serious?
“I’m… thrilled,” he said, and he wished you goodnight and left. While you were terribly flustered to know he liked you back, there was a voice in your head that wouldn’t stop making you feel anxious. Something felt so odd to you— to be loved back. To be loved back by him. You enjoyed talking to people so you talked to him often, but never had you thought he'd think of you like that. Having a naturally talkative personality, it was true that both of you had fun talking to each other, but you had accepted that your love was unrequited ages ago. When would he have possibly fallen in love with you? The more you thought about it the more impossible it sounded. As thoughts of him circled your head, it’d be morning before you knew it.
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It'd be hard for him to point out exactly when he fell in love with you, because he was in love before he knew it. Before he knew it, he'd catch himself following you with his eyes. He adored watching you work, because you made everything look exciting. Of course, he saw how you groaned at the paperwork you had to do, but he'd see how the little things would put a smile on your face.
He liked the work he did, he liked all of it quite frankly. From neutralizing kaiju all the way down to the research he had to do— rarely did he think something was a chore to do, but if you were around to laugh at something silly he found or mutter about the binders and binders of files that the 3rd division just doesn't have space for anymore, he'd start looking forward to these moments.
While he knew you were like this with everyone, he hoped that you were happiest with him. It would mean everything to him if you looked forward to doing seemingly mundane work with him too.
However, while he loved so much about you, there was one moment specifically that made him realize he wasn't moving on. His heart would be yours forever at this rate. You'd look so horribly tired after all this work, and yet, if someone needed help with anything at all, you'd still smile and ask them what's wrong. You'd find the energy and speak to them so kindly. You might not have the energy you usually had, but you'd be so happy to help. Even if they couldn't tell how exhausted you were, he could. He knew how much you did for everyone in the division, and he thought you were stunning when you did so. You were the most beautiful when you had that lovely smile on your face that seemed to light up his world.
He loved you so dearly.
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You loved talking to people, so there always seemed to be something for you to talk about. A new finding you wanted to share or a terribly random thought that popped up in your head. While you naturally talked to most of the people in the division, you looked forward to talking to Hoshina the most. The way he'd always listen so intrigued at your dumbest thoughts and laugh at the smallest things you said meant more to you than one would probably think.
And if you shared your daily happenings with him, he'd share his with you too. To say you loved these moments would truly be an understatement. Nothing could possibly make you happier.
However, you knew he was like this with everyone. His laugh would always manage to keep the morale of the division up and he'd never miss potential problems in the condition of any of his officers. You knew he was a sweet person, but also the best one could ask for in a vice-captain. You weren't special— he was like this to everyone. You knew better than anyone else.
You couldn't imagine anyone falling for you, let alone the kindest person you'd ever meet in your life. Let alone the person you'd probably love for the rest of your life.
Yet, here you were, alone with him this afternoon working away through paperwork and it was quiet. Eerily quiet. He was the first to break the silence.
“I rather dislike the rain,” he said, looking out the window. “It’s been raining all day.”
You paused to look outside as well. “No, you’re right. I don’t mind the rain, but I hate how dark everything is.”
“Yeah,” he said. More silence.
“Sorry, I’m awkwardly nervous now,” he said, eyes fixed on his work. “I didn’t mean to make things… weird.”
You could tell he probably didn’t want you to, but you couldn’t help but look his way. Your eyes widened and your heart filled. You weren’t afraid to say much, but you were afraid to talk about this. However, you thought you’d be able to if you were talking to him.
“I just… can’t imagine that you’re… in love… with me,” you said, looking down at your paperwork. “Sounds too good to be true. I know... sounds unlike me, right?”
Immediately he looked up at you, shocked to say the least. You could tell he probably wanted to ask why, but he thought for a moment more.
“What… would I be able to do to show that I am?” he asked. “You’re the one I love… you always will be.”
Your eyes widened. “I just… don’t know why,” you said honestly. “Why me?”
“Because I love you,” he said. “I love a whole lot about you, but I love being with you. I enjoy spending time with you and watching you enjoy the life around you. Is that too simple?”
It took you a second to reply, but you felt a lot better. “No, not at all,” you said. “Because I feel exactly the same way.”
“You’re kidding”
“Absolutely not”
“I’m going to kill you if you’re lying,” he said.
That made you laugh. “You know I wouldn’t,” you said, and yes, he knew you wouldn’t.
“Hey, Hoshina,” you said, avoiding eye-contact. “If I get worried… will you tell me again?”
“I’d tell you until you get sick of my voice,” he said while getting up to kiss your forehead. “I love you so much.”
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hungerpunch · 1 month ago
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things to pay attention to when observing a captive animal
re: lrb i figured i might as well just stick these in its own post since this is, in fact, one of the big animal video websites.
i know that most people do not have access to wild animals on the reg and i know that most people have not had continuing education about the care of captive wild animals. fwiw, neither do i! but over the years i have watched enough documentaries and read up on enough failed animal "sanctuaries" to have gathered a lot of tips. so here are some easy things anyone can keep an eye out for!
1. is the animal's enclosure relatively clean or are there signs of accumulated filth? some wear & tear is expected but you shouldn't see what looks like multiple days of shit, piss, food scraps, etc. an animal's enclosure should be cleaned every day.
2. can you see obvious access to water sources and does that water look clean? if you don't see clean-looking & full buckets, troughs, or a natural source of running water, you should question whether that animal has anything to drink.
3. is the animal left alone when it walks away or does the caretaker continue to follow and bother it? perhaps understandable if something medical needs to take place, but if it's just for "fun" or something that doesn't seem totally necessary, that's a bad sign. an animal should be free to walk away from something pestering it.
4. if outside, is there shelter from the elements? something like a run-in shed, open barn, thicket of trees, natural overhang etc. animals need sources of shade to protect themselves from sun exposure and heat.
5. can you see enrichment toys or materials? especially true for smaller zoos where animals can't roam much. you want to see evidence that there's an effort to provide mental stimulation to the animal.
6. is the animal displaying repetitive behaviors like pacing or walking in small circles? because that's bad! it could indicate anything from anxiety to psychosis.
7. if you search for pics of the animal in the wild does its body shape approximate examples you find? it should. if the animal is much thinner, it could indicate starvation. if it's much rounder, it could indicate that although it's being fed, it's not being fed an appropriate diet. (think of those captive tigers with bellies that almost touch the floor, for example)
8. is the animal entirely alone or do you see other animals with it? most animals want some form of companionship. of course some animals are kept solitary for safety reasons or maybe they're loners in the wild. but most animals benefit from social interaction with other animals.
9. if in a zoo, does the animal have a place it can retreat from the public? it should!
10. does the animal display aggressive behaviors like charging its caretakers? it could indicate the animal has been traumatized or abused in some way.
11. in good zoos, the keepers will physically handle an animal as little as possible. so if you see the animal being manhandled a lot, that's a bad sign.
if you see these signs, you can try to find mechanisms that let you report the facility to local animal welfare agencies. and you can also not engage/boost that content and instead go engage with a reputable sanctuary or conservation-forward zoo instead :)
also please keep in mind that every time a captive wild animal goes viral, the exotic pet trade booms—and it's completely despicable. wild animals should not be pets. end of. if anyone else has other tips to add, please feel free!
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cameronspecial · 8 months ago
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Let Me Get Them For You, Angel
Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: N/A
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.9K
Summary: Rafe never hesitates to get Y/N what she wants.
A/N: Inspired by this post.
Masterlist
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Even though Y/N has told Rafe countless times, he does the best he can to be a provider for her, buying her food, clothes, books, scientific equipment he doesn’t understand what it does and anything else he can think of. He will literally do everything in his power to get her the whole world. They are at the mall shopping for a new leather jacket for him. They’ve been there for a few hours, taking their time to peruse around the stores. Her stomach begins to cry out its need for sustenance. As they continue to the next store, a delicious buttery and salty smell enters the air. Her head turns in the direction of where this sensory stimulus is coming from. The small glance toward Auntie Anne’s Pretzels does not go unnoticed by her boyfriend. He pauses immediately, yet she continues to walk, so he loops his arm through her to pull her back to his side. “What’s wrong?” she questions with a tilt of her head. He points toward the pretzel store, “I’m hungry. Why don’t we get a snack? A cheese one, right?” “You know me so well,” she beams. He chuckles and presses his lips against her temple. He leads her toward the register and orders their salty snack. 
———
It is no secret that Y/N is an avid reader. Her TBR list is in the hundreds and it continues to grow. Rafe’s mission is to make that list dwindle to zero, despite what Y/N might say. Sometimes, he’ll add books to that list by himself. The couple is hanging out in the library. She is studying and he is only there to keep her company. An hour into her studying session he pulls her away from her textbooks and notes to take a break and eat a snack. Her eyes wander while she nibbles on the cheese and crackers he hands to her, landing on a book cover that catches her eyes. The pink-themed watercolour cover features a forest with a rope bridge. It’s beautiful and the title is quite simple. Unravel Me. Rafe sees her attention isn’t on him and follows the gaze to the novel in another person's hands. She moves her eyes back to him, but he still takes note of the title. After the snack, she goes back to studying and he focuses on his phone. He decides to search for the book and finds out it is a hockey romance series. It sounds right up Y/N’s alley, so he orders Topper to go to the store and buy her the full set.
———
The most outrageous example of Rafe being Rafe when it comes to buying Y/N things is when he orders expensive objects for her right on the spot. It is date night and he decides to take her to the new upscale bar that opened up off campus. He pulls her chair out for her, allowing her to hop onto the tall chair. While she tells him about her tests, her eyes are trained on something at the bar. She must really like whatever she is looking at because she stands from the chair and approaches a woman. Rafe is right behind her, resting his hand on the small of Y/N’s back. “Hey, sorry to bother you, but I really like your bag. Where did you get it?” she asks the redhead. The other woman grins and holds her bag up, “Thank you! It’s from Coach. I can’t remember what it’s called though. I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. You gave me enough to go off of. Thank you so much. Have a nice night,” Y/N bids goodbye to her. Throughout the whole interaction, Rafe’s attention is on his phone. They get back to their table and he holds up his screen to her. The Coach website is pulled up on Safari with a picture of a light tan bag that has a dragon on it. Boxed New Year Rogue 25 With Dragon is written above the picture along with the price of $1,090.
“This is the one you want, right?” he confirms. Her eyes widen at the price, “Yes, but I didn’t know it was that expensive. I like it, just not for that price.” He ignores her worries and goes back to typing on his phone. “Look at this one. I’m gonna get it for you too. I think it’s cute,” he tells her, sliding his phone across the table to her. She sees two items in his cart: the dragon purse and the heart bag in regenerative leather. The total amount before tax is $1,490, which is completely outrageous to her. She shakes her head, “You can’t buy these, Rafe. This is way too much.” “Come on, let me get them for you, Angel. You know money is no issue for me,” he pleads, giving her the best puppy eyes he can.
“It’s not an issue for me. What am I going to do with something so luxurious?”
“Look like an absolute queen while you flaunt it around. Show other men that I can provide for you. Hand it over to me while you put your lip gloss on, so you can mark your territory. You deserve this luxury and so many more, Angel.”
“This is really important to you. Isn’t it?”
“Yes, so… what do you say?”
“Fine. You can get them.”
A smirk craves itself onto his face and he puts in his credit card information to finalize the purchase. He shows her the shipping information, “It should be here by next week, Angel.” “Thank you, Rafe. I can’t wait to use them,” she shows her gratitude by giving him a kiss.
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming
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