#if it’s there or not but most people just assume that being even just kindness between a man and a woman means they’re deeply in love and

[painted-bees]

Sometimes you just need to be held and gently rocked like a child by someone who means something to you.

I mentioned before how Raf doesn't really get anxious before a show, and genuinely enjoys performing on stage--but that the most difficult part of a performance for him are the hours right after a show has finished, starting from the moment he walks off the stage.

Almost every single time, no matter how fun or well executed a performance was, there's a kind of quiet terror that follows him off the stage like a dark shadow and infects him once he's left the safety of the stage lights.

He becomes uncharacteristically furtive, and while he will answer when spoken to, his responses are simple, short, with a kind of sharpness in tone that suggests a level of defensiveness. Like a child awaiting a harsh scolding. Because that's kinda...what he is, in that moment. He is waiting to be kept awake into the early hours of the morning by a lecture about what he did, what he didn't do, what he should have done differently, what needs to be improved upon before the next time. Or he's waiting to be told that he's gonna be on his own for a few days, because the people who are supposed to love and take care of him are "too disappointed to fairly manage him" right now. Or he's waiting to be dragged into a busy room populated by strangers he's supposed to impress while he's casually, conversationally picked apart in front of them by the person who brought him there in the first place; the person who wanted to show him off.

It's a frustrating reaction to have...He's not a child, he's a grown ass man--and he owes venue staff, and his bandmates, and everyone else backstage a modicum of respect and kindness, and to thank them for their work, and to revel in the completion of a good show. But he's not really...he can't do that. He comes off as quietly despondent at best, or kind of a stuck up asshole at worst. When he did shows with Lacey, she called it his "post-performance tantrums" and exercised very little patience for his 'immature sulkiness' following concerts. And the low mood would persist for a solid week then after.

Once he started doing shows and stuff with Margie, she'd initially wonder if his poor mood was because she had done something wrong, or didn't meet expectations, if it was a bad show.... It wouldn't be until the following day before Raf could find himself in a state of mind where he's able to explain what he's feeling, much less why. And...for whatever reason, he's reticent to offer the most simple explanation to her--because saying "it's a ptsd thing, just give me space and patience and don't take it personally because it's nothing to do with you" comes with the risk of being asked other questions about himself and his upbringing that he's not comfortable getting into and--it's a whole thing, in his mind. So the first few shows together are consistently...a bewilderingly negative experience for Margie, in that it's a very tense, quiet, insecure and shame-ridden 24-48 hours after the show--followed by delayed revelry days after the performance with Raf finally able to reflect positively upon the experience and assuring Margie that it actually was a great performance, and that he had a lot of fun--and they're able to recall their favorite moments together, etc.

Unlike Lace, though, Margie never digs into him about his behavior. She just mirrors his silence, and then--very uncomfortably--gives him space because she doesn't really know what else she can do, and--assuming she's the problem--she doesn't want to risk messing things up even more, since she doesn't know what she did wrong in the first place. And, you know, there's only so many times Raf can reassure her, too late, that she was great, actually. And so he finally does relent to telling her that this is just...how he is after a show, that it's no one's fault, he's not mad at her or anyone--it's just ptsd. That's all he tells her, and, as per always with Margie--she doesn't try to pry out more information from him about it.

Margie goes down her own little rabbit hole of research instead, and comes to Raf with the idea for a new post-performance routine (communicated with staff and such before hand to ensure accommodation) wherein they don't try to gladhand, or pack up, or do literally anything for the first half hour after they walk off stage. Instead, they find a quiet, dimly lit corner somewhere away from everything and just sit, and rest, no expectations, no obligations, nothing. Raf agrees to put this idea into practice, and it quickly evolves into, well idk... Being held and gently rocked like a child by someone who means something to him.

[chefkids]

Claire is Carmy's projection of Sydney.

Costuming is one of the most straightforward ways to tell an audience what a character is like and what their role is. Claire's costuming choices show how she was literally just a clear blank slate for Carmy to project Syd onto. So come peel this onion with me.

When he first sees her after being away from him for a while she's wearing a green jacket, who else famously has worn a green puffer jacket all throughout the series and when she reconnected with Carmy after she left?

When he takes Claire on that post office trip drive through Sydney's favorite UPS route, Sheridan Road, she's wearing a brown jacket which looks very similar to the kinds that UPS drivers like Sydney would wear.

When Claire is at the party with him trying to get with Carmy and pursue a new relationship, she just had a denim jacket. Which we have also seen Sydney wear a denim jacket around him when they were trying to start a new relationship aka partnership together by building the new restaurant.

And then we see her white button shirt, dark pants, and the blue denim jacket when Carmy takes her back to the restaurant, which is basically all Carmy saw Syd wearing for most of the time while at the restaurant when she was in her white button down, dark pants, and blue apron.

When he cooks for Claire we see her for the first time in a tank top at the exact same time we see Sydney the most undressed she's ever been in a bra.

When she's in his kitchen she's in his white t-shirt she tries to have a somewhat vulnerable moment with him. She asks him what he is thinking about when he's clearly stressed and he deflects to just complement her. Later when he is with Syd in her white t-shirt in their kitchen at The Bear, he is vulnerable with her about his mother and tries to get her to be vulnerable with him and she finally tells him about her mom dying.

At Friends & Family night is the one time we see her dressed in the most uniquely herself way in a black dress, and she looks like she's ready for a funeral. Which it essentially was the death of her and Carmy's relationship that night. We also know that this is what Sydney will be doing at the start of Season 3, going to a funeral with Carmy. RIP Claire. (yes i know it's marcus' mom but the metaphor is still there and this is still a comedy after all)

Claire has very little identity of her own because Carmy never bothers to know her like he knows Syd. When Claire is on her own she's always in her scrubs, because he doesn't have much else of an image of her besides the fact that she's a doctor now. But he knows Syd well enough to know the exact designer brand she likes to wear and make her a custom jacket.

He knows about Syd's mom dying because he repeatedly asks her about her family and parents without even knowing them. Claire told him about her cousin dying and he basically said "damn that sucks" even though he knew him personally. He knows about Syd's struggles with her job history through catering and fine dining. Claire told him about her life as a doctor and the only thing he came out with was that it was a time intensive job and that he thought she liked taking care of people by helping to fix them. Which is exactly what he tells Sydney he notices about her later on. She likes to take care of people and to fix things like she tried to fix the restaurant.

He didn't give af about Claire's life or personality, he just wanted to project Sydney's onto it. Carmy wanted to want to be with Claire, because everyone around him told him it was what he should want from Mikey to Fak to Richie. So he chose to see and project as much of Syd, who he already knew deep down he liked but was too scared to pursue, on to Claire. That's why he took her on that drive and why he made her the Sydney's pasta recipe that he knew Sydney already liked. Because he doesn't bother getting to know Claire, he just assumes Sydney's identity on to her. And what he did come to know and do with her that was her choice, like going to a party with drunk friends, only ended up associating her with his alcoholic mother and his brother at their Christmas party.

And in the end he still realized he couldn't just replace Sydney in his mind with her.

[lovemyromance]

I will always find it funny when people try to say "Azriel wasn't showing interest in Elain, he was just doing his job"

Aside from the fact that other than being "Spymaster of the Night Court", we don't really know what Azriel's responsibilities entail. It's not like we got a job description and his resume handed to us 🤡🤡

All we can do is infer based upon what his duties in canon text have been thus far:

Spying on the human queens

Fighting in ACOWAR with the NC

Keeping an eye on a few people across different courts / helping their allies

Gather information through his "spy network" / shadows

Dealing with threats to the NC (ex: Bryce, Briyallyn)

Interrogating for information (? Not even sure if this was actually stated in the books, or if we all just assumed)

Training priestesses with Cassian

That's all we know! His job is somewhat related to spying, and gathering information to keep the NC safe.

Nowhere in that limited set of responsibilities do we see:

Spend time with Elain

Buy Elain a solstice gift

Protect Elain, specifically

Rescue Elain from Hybern

Kiss Elain

Lose sleep over Elain

Beg on his knees for a taste of Elain

Wait for Elain to be seated before allowing everyone to eat dinner

Give Elain his most prized possession (TT) to defend herself with

So, unless we are categorizing all those things under "Gather intel on Elain" because he thinks she's some kind of threat to the NC (lmaooo), then he's not just interacting with Elain because it's his "job". He is Spymaster of the Night Court. Not Elain's personal air tag, or therapist, or primary caretaker.

In fact, even though his job DOES include spying on others, he blatantly refuses to do it in ACOFAS when Azriel tells Rhys that he does not want to watch Lucien.

Why doesn't he want to watch over Lucien?

Rhys literally tells us: "To know when and if Lucien sought her out. What they did together."

Can someone please just tell me why Azriel would shirk his job of intel gathering to avoid learning what Elain & Lucien do together? Why would he care unless he had feelings for Elain? He has no problem spying on anyone else, even other members of the IC.

At the end of the day, we don't have much info on what exactly his responsibilities include, other than what we have seen. And I don't believe anything Elain-related falls under the NC Spymaster's job description 🤷🏻‍♀️

[yelenasdiary]

Forbidden || Chapter III Stranger

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Bishop! Reader.

Summary: Just outside of the small town of Blisswater, lives two young sisters, Kate & Y/n Bishop. It's hard not to know who the Bishops are, Kate is the eldest by a year. She is a beautiful young woman, smart, protective and is known to have a talent in using a bow. Y/n, she is shy but quiet as some would say but nevertheless, she holds her own talents and can often be seen tending to the animals of Bishop Ranch. One evening while Kate is out hunting to make some money, Y/n is surprised with an unwanted guest, Yelena Belova. A bounty Hunter from Drybellow who has taken shelter in the young Bishop's barn after being wounded from a gun fight.

Struggling to keep money following, Y/n has no choice but to take the bounty hunter's offer of $5 a day if she is able to help the woman recover. During Yelena's stay, the two grow closer, a little too close if the wrong pair of eyes were to see them.

Warnings:Homophobia (given the time setting, reader believes same sex relations are wrong), Mentions of sexism, Mentions of arson, Parental Death (Wanda’s), Mentions of Guns, Mentions of Murder, Unwanted Male Attention | 3.2K

Forbidden Masterlist

The sun ever so slightly peaked over the open land telling me I had woken up earlier than I normally would. It was still dark out, the dark clouds covering the sky as rain continued to cover the land. I assumed it was the deep fear of Kate stumbling into my room and seeing a complete stranger in my bed that I had woken up earlier, I knew I had to be up before her and keep her from finding out. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I'm still so worried about Yelena, she looked so peaceful sleeping but still wasn't out of the woods. Wanda should hopefully be back from wherever she has gone tomorrow, I wish had given me a rough time as to when she'd be stopping by. 

I quietly crept out of my room to get Yelena's herbal tea ready before she woke up, placing it on the small wooden bedside table. She turned in her sleep, slowly opening her eyes, she greeted me with a soft smile that made me feel warm. I smiled back, "good morning" I whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you. I just brought in your morning tea. Wanda should be back tomorrow so only 2 or 3 more mugs of this tea!" I assured her. She made the effort to side up, taking the mug to warm her hands. 

The weather was a little on the colder end, the storm last night hasn't ended. The sound of rain drops falling on the wood roof was one of my favorite sounds, I wasn't prepared to see the mess the wild wings had caused. 

"You know, I'm surprised this tea seems to be working. I don't feel like my temperance is a high today. Who is this magical woman with the herbal goods?" Yelena replied in a whisperer.

"Most people around her actually believe she's magical. She's lovely and I hope you get to meet her one day"

"Wait, you go this tea from a witch?" Yelena asked, cocking her brow. 

"She's not a witch. She's misunderstood" I correct her, "before she moved her, she used to live in a large city well over the Grand Point Mountains. She grew up there with her parents and twin brother. Her parents owned one of the smaller post offices just outside the city and on weekends Wanda would help her mother while Pietro would be off doing something with their dad. Wanda's mother let her sell stuff for a few cents, but people believed she was experimenting in witchcraft and began to harass her family. One night before closing, her parents were locked in the build as it was set on fire. Her parents died in the flames, leaving Wanda and Pietro to leave the city" I explained. 

"What do you think? Do you think she's a witch like everybody else?" Yelena asked after a moment of silence. I shrugged, "what she is and what she isn't has no effect on me. She's kind to me and has never given me a reason to be cruel to her. Word travels and now the people in Blisswater treat her with no respect"

Yelena hummed at my reply before she took a mouthful of her tea, "you're a very interesting person, Y/n Bishop" she spoke after letting the tea warm her insides. 

I'm not sure why but the way she said my name made my stomach flutter and I found myself unable to look her in the eyes. "Well, I could say the same about you, bounty hunter Yelena Belova" I replied. 

"I'm not near as interesting as you are" she said, taking another mouthful of her tea. I looked at her, "I'm not sure what you find so interesting about me, I've never done anything as cool as you. I mean, you get to be a bounty hunter! You're free to travel the land for free, you can handle yourself in many situations but me? All I know is Blisswater and it's surroundings" 

Yelena placed her mug back on the wooden table before she looked up at me, "that's how you see things? I haven't seen much, but I've heard enough" she says, "that peter boy, he's head over heels for you and he's not a bad looking guy. But you don't look twice at him, why is that?" she asked. 

"Peter has been in love with me since he learned the word love. I don't know what love feels like when it's not for your family, but I know that what he feels for me isn't what I feel for him" 

"Are you to marry him?" Yelena asked. I shook my head, "my father thinks he's a wonderful young gentlemen and would like to see me marry him, but he always says he just wants me to be happy. My mother says that one day I will have to find somebody because this world isn't made for women on their own" I replied.

Yelena cocked a brow at my last sentence, "but you are clearly proof that a woman can do just fine on her own" I quickly added. She chuckled lightly making my cheeks once again have a warm sensation to them. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" I asked to break any silence that may have come next. 

"You know, you should probably tell your sister that I am here, it might make things easier for you" she chuckled lightly once more, "I need to use the toilet, so I guess, whenever you think it's safe, let me know" she added. 

"Of course, um, Kate and I are probably going to make a trip to town to sell the elk meat so we'll be gone for a little while" I replied, "but I can't tell her about you, not until I find the right time to explain things" I added with a nervous smile. Yelena took another mouthful of her tea before giving me a nod, "yes ma'am" she said. 

I smiled softly just before I heard Kate letting Lucky out the back door, "and on that note, I'll be back when I can" I said in a whisperer before leaving my room, greeting Kate with a stretch. "Good morning" I smiled. 

"If you say so" she replied, she was never much of a morning person until she'd had a coffee to wake herself up a little. I followed her into the kitchen and took a seat at the dining table as she began to make her coffee. "So, did you want to get lunch at the saloon today? Something different for once" I suggested, wanting to earn Yelena some extra time to relax without worrying. 

"Sounds good to me, doesn't look like the rain is going to let up anytime soon. We'll sell the elk meat to the butcher and grab a few things from Mr Barton then we can get some lunch" 

"Maybe we could even stop by the post office and see if there is anything from mom and dad" I added. Kate turned and smiled softly to me, almost as if she didn't want to make me worry but I knew deep down she had her own theories about where our parents were. 

"Sure, won't hurt to check" she replied, pouring her hot coffee into a tin mug. 

"I'll go get dressed and feed Arrow and Lucky while I wait for you" I said, excusing myself from the kitchen and returning to my room. 

"Why the long face?" Yelena whispered. I opened my dresser and began to pick out my outfit, trying not to let my mind think about how much I missed my parents. "I wouldn't want to bother you with my problems" I replied as I grabbed a top. 

"I'm pretty sure I would win that argument but it's okay, you don't have to talk about it, I am a stranger after all" 

I couldn't help but sigh, I wasn't sighing at Yelena or her comment but because I missed my parents. How could they have just disappeared? Deep down I know something has happened to them, but I try my best to ignore that thought and think maybe they are just so busy, and father is caught up on a business deal. I turned to Yelena, my shoulders felt heavy, and I could feel tears trying to break their way through. 

"My parents have been missing for months. Not a single letter in the mail from them. I'm just worried about them is all" I whispered, fighting back my tears. 

There was a brief moment of silence before Yelena spoke again, "How about when I'm better, I'll see what I can find out" she offered. My eyes widened at the offer but quickly remembered to keep quiet. "Would you? I mean, I wouldn't want to put you out in any way, I just" I paused for a moment as my mind flashed back to the last memory I had of my parents. Father helped mother up onto the wagon before loading the last of their luggage, a smile from mother as she waved goodbye, reminding Kate and I to be safe. 

I remember the night before they left, father came into my room and told me how he was going to bring me back some paint that would last me a good few months. He said he missed my paintings and wanted me to paint him and mother something wonderful to hang up in the living room. 

"I miss them so much" I finally added. 

"Then I must recovery quickly then" Yelena threw me a playful wink. Her gesture made me smile softly before I turned to close the dresser, "do you mind?" I asked kindly. Yelena nodded and pulled my bed cover over my head to allow me to get dressed, I got dressed as quickly as I could just so I could spare a few small minutes with Yelena. 

"Do you think maybe a little later you could share some more of your bunty hunting stories?" I asked in a whisper as I fixed my hair in the mirror. Yelena slowly pulled the covers off her head and looked at me through the mirror, "I think I could do that" she smiled softly. 

"Y/n, are you ready?" I heard Kate call.

"Coming!" I called back, "I'll see you later" I said quietly to Yelena before leaving the room and meeting Kate in the kitchen again. "It looks like the rain is starting to pick up, I'll go feed Arrow, you feed Lucky and then we'll go" my sister said, downing the last mouthful of her coffee before placing her mug in the sink. 

---

We sold the elk meat and made $8 but the butcher, Mr Austin always likes to give Kate a little extra. You'll find that almost everybody in Blisswater is generous and friendly, we all help each other out. It's almost like we are one giant family! After that, we made our way to Mr Barton. 

"Good morning girls!" He greeted us with a warm smile.

"Morning!" Kate replied shortly after me. 

"What can I do for you this morning?" Mr Barton asked, putting away a revolver in the lock up behind him. "I just need some new arrows, went hunting the other day and lost a few" Kate replied as she made her way over to the arrows. "Catch anything worth it?" He asked. 

"An elk, not bad skin but could've been better" Kate said. 

These two always bond over their hunting skills and love for hunting, he's taught Kate a few tips and tricks when it comes to using a bow. Usually, I just stand in the background and wait for their conversations to be over with but this morning, Mr Barton's daughter, Lila, was helping him today. 

"They talk a lot, don't they?" She smiled at me. I chuckled, "they do"

"Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked me, I shook my head, "I'm just here with Kate, she needs new arrows! How's Cooper?" I asked, that's her older brother. 

"He is fine, he's was supposed to help father today but mother needed a man's help back home so I swapped" she explained, "hey did you hear about the gunshots the other night? People are saying the infamous Loki, and his gang are hanging around town" she added. I wondered if this was how Yelena got hurt. 

Loki and his gang are basically famous for their crimes of robbing banks, sometimes even killing people in their homes. If he and his gang are hanging around, it won't be ideal for Kate and I to be seen at home without our parents. 

"No, I mean, I heard the gun shots, but I didn't think it had anything to an outlaw gang" I replied.

"Father and I saw some men come out of the saloon earlier, not faces I'd ever seen around here before" Lila said, "best to be extra careful" she added. I nodded at her words, "Thank you for the heads up. Kate and I are headed there for lunch after they stop yapping" I replied making her chuckle. "It might be a while; you know these two" she joked. We both chuckled, making Kate and Mr Barton turn around to look at us. 

"What's so funny over there?" Mr Barton asked. 

"Oh, nothing father, just get back to your hunting talk" Lila teased making her father playfully shake his head at us. 

While I was waiting for Kate to finish her hunting topics with Mr Barton, an unfamiliar face entered the store. He was tall, maybe six-foot! His hair was dark brown and he had green eyes, his coat brushed ever so slightly against the floor. 

"Oi, gunsmith! Can I get some service around here?" he demanded as he made his way to the counter. 

"Of course, I'll be right there" Mr Barton replied. Kate looked over to me and nodded towards the door, suggesting it was time for us to leave. "What can I get for you?" Mr Barton asked. The tall man placed a shotgun onto the counter and demanded that Mr Barton clean the weapon while he stocked up on ammo and gun oil. As Kate and I walked out of the store two other men that didn't look very happy were waiting outside. 

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing" one man said as he looked my sister up and down. I noticed Kate rolled her eyes at his comment, it wasn't flattering, and Kate didn't seem to like it. "Give us a smile doll" he added. 

"Get a real job, loser!" Kate muttered, pulling me close to her side as we walked. 

"Oh, come on sweet thing, don't be like that. Come play with a real man" we heard the guy call out. 

Once we got to the saloon, we took a seat near the window. "I don't want you hanging out town by yourself right now" Kate said as she took off her coat and hung it over the back of her chair. "You don't have to tell me twice, Lila told me all about it" I replied. Kate nodded before she took a seat, "what can I get you ladies?" Mr Barnes smiled. 

"Surprise me!" I smiled back, I wasn't sure what I felt on the menu, and it was always fun when Mr Barnes would surprise me. "You got it, Kate, what can I get you?" He asked. I watched my sister's eyes scan the menu of three options while the drunken men by the bar caught more of her attention then the menu did, "what's the story there?" Kate asked. 

"Just another gang rolling through town, heard a few of them talking about plans to head north, I wouldn't worry to much about them" Mr Barnes assured us, but I could tell that Kate wasn't assured at all. "Roasted catfish and veg will be fine" Kate smiled but her eyes drifted back to the men.

"I bet mother and father's letters are just travel as much as they are" I joked in hopes it would lighten the mood, but Kate looked at me, smiled softly and let out a light sigh. "Y/n, I know you don't want to face the reality of this but I thin-"

"Kate, please don't say it" I cut her off, "I know you think I'm too scared to admit but I know okay? I know they are probably lying face out in the ditch somewhere, but I still think there is hope! Even if we never see them again, they could've sent a letter!" I snapped, storming out of the saloon. 

"Y/n, wait!" I heard Kate's voice not far behind me. I don't like making a scene, but I wish Kate would be a little more understanding of my feelings, she acts as though I am supposed to be like her and act like our missing parents have been dead for many years. "Would you just wait up a second!" Kate ran up to me, gently grabbing me by the arm. 

"I didn't mean to upset you" she said, looking me in my eyes while I fought back tears, "I just don't want you to keep being disappointed when there isn't a letter. I miss them too, I wish they never left but it's just you and I for now, okay?" 

I nodded before she pulled me in for a comforting hug, "let's have lunch, check the post office and head home then we can do whatever you want, sound good?" She spoke. I nodded once more before the two of us walked back to the saloon to enjoy lunch. 

----

"We'll try again next week" Kate smiled softly as we walked out the path to our home, I gave her a fake smile in reply. I really hoped that this would be the day that I'd be walking this path reading aloud a letter from our parents, it gave me something to look forward to. "Here, I got you something to cheer you up" Kate spoke, handing me a candy bar, "thanks!!" I smiled as I quickly ripped into it. 

"You were supposed to save it for after dinner" she chuckled, opening the front door. My eyes widen when I saw Yelena standing in the hall with a cup in her hand. Kate quickly grabbed the closest thing to a weapon, "who the hell are you?!" She said sternly. I dropped my candy bar, "Kate, it's okay!" I said, standing in front of her. If it were possible, you'd be able to see the steam coming from Kate's ears.

"Y/n, why is there a stranger in our home?!" She asked. 

"I can see you're mad, but I can explain everything!" I replied but she ignored me, "you, outside, now!" Kate looked through me to Yelena who didn't say a word but followed Kate's instructions meanwhile I did my best to try and calm my sister down. "Who are you and what do you want?" Kate asked sternly. 

Yelena looked directly into Kate's eyes, suddenly it was like I didn't even exist in the moment. "My names Yelena. Yelena Belova and your sister here has been helping me, I took cover in your barn after being shot, as you can see. I've been paying her $5 a day for her troubles" Yelena explains. Kate turns to look at me, eyes full of anger, "you have a lot to explain" she muttered.

Taglist: @madislayyy | @riveramorylunar | @teganmiller | @kyleeservopoulos | @yelenaslyubov | @kacka84 | @lesbiarmy | @meurgen | @caporal-nino | @sl-ut | @scarletwidowblackwitch | @dogtamer415 | @mousetheorist | @flohouse46 | @boredandneedfanfics | @gemz5 | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @unicorniusfallapatorius | @iloveyou3000e | @shibugs | 

If you want to be on the taglist for this series, please see the masterlist. It's linked at the top of this post.

[n1ghtfurys]

Cream

I saw this on tiktok and I don't know where I found it but I had to do something with it so if anyone knows who posted these original idea please tell me so I can credit them :)

Keegan being flirty↓

You hated parties, always have, always will but your roommate, and best friend, loves them. She has one almost every week, sometimes it's university friends, sometimes work friends but this time it's a party for all of the people in your building.

You hate it, it's loud and annoying and people keep trying your locked door. Probably so they can come and hook up on your bed, fucking animals. It's not even like you dislike the people in your building, you just hate parties.

It's moments like these that make you curse your minimum wage job, if only you could have a mini fridge. You wouldn't have to go out there to get the lemonade you so desperately wanted. You've been arguing with yourself over it for a good twenty minutes.

You tried texting your roommate, then calling but she's probably borderline dry humping some guy in the middle of your living room right now. You kind of respect her ability to do that, envy it sometimes. And anyway, you'll probably hear about this guy's sexual skills tomorrow over lunch.

When you finally come to the conclusion that you're doomed to have to leave the sanctuary of your bedroom, you reluctantly open the door. The noise is worse out here. It's shitty club music and the bass is so hard that the cups on the table near the speaker are shaking. Like you expected, your roommate has her tongue down someone's throat, the girl from the floor above actually. She has short brown hair and so far, in your three years of living here you haven't seen her not in a flannel. Upon a quick look around you find that most of your younger neighbours are here.

You almost drop your phone when your eyes land on Keegan. Not only is he so rarely home, because of deployment, you also never took him as a party goer. Equally you find him incredibly attractive and have made a consistent fool of yourself around him, he's always friendly but you assume that's because your best friend is hot and also a bit of a psycho. The last time you saw him, you walked into the door of the lift and your friend simply told him that she knew where he lived, he grinned but nodded and kept his laughter to a minimum or at least he tried to.

You turn so quickly that you walk straight into the boy who lives across the hall from you. He's sweet really, you apologise and hope that Keegan didn't see that because that would be yet another time you made a fool out of yourself, and in your own house. God all you wanted was lemonade.

You look down at the floor and try not to come off as embarrassed as you feel, you just want to get back to your room as fast as you can. When you finally make it to the fridge you grab the lemonade but notice that you've still got left over whipped cream. Your roommate convinced you to get some the last time you went shopping, you can't really remember why but it's there now.

You can't resist it, so you tilt your head back and squirt some into your mouth. As you go to replace the cream you're stopped by a voice, a voice you can place immediately. One that makes your knees weak.

“Got any left?” Keegan looks down at you, his mask concealing all but his steely blue eyes.

“Um what?” You heard what he said but you're frozen and it's like your brain has gone into low power mode.

“Whipped cream.” He clarifies, looking between you and the canister. You stare at him, you probably look like such an idiot.

“You want some?” You ask as if you don't know, as if it's not incredibly obvious.

“Yeah, just squirt some in my mouth.” You try to ignore how dirty that sounded and also try to stop your mind from drifting to how he would sound saying other things.

He pulls his mask up just over his nose. “Um okay?” You reach up but the angle is awkward, you haven't really processed how much taller than you he actually is. “Sorry you can just…um.” You hold the whipped cream out for him but he shakes his head.

You give him a confused look and he lowers himself onto his knees in front of you opening his mouth.

You stare down at him utterly bewildered, a smirk plays on his lips as he looks at your expression.

“Better?”

You stare, glued to the spot and completely frozen for a moment before you come back to reality and conscious thought.

“Um yeah..”

He opens his mouth again and you press down on the nozzle until the cream fills his mouth. You try desperately to keep your thoughts from wondering. You hope he doesn't know how much that affected you but the flush on your cheeks probably does nothing to hide it.

“Thanks princess.” He smirks as he gets up and rolls his mask back over his lips. You take a moment before putting the whipped cream back just to regain your motor control.

The image of him on the floor in front of you with a mouth full of whipped cream will be burned into your retinas for the rest of your life and did he just call you princess? Fuck, now you needed to go back to your room but for a while different reason.

[karenandhenwillson]

After last nights episode I saw immediately some takes of "Oh, Buck will need to take care of Chris now and won't have time for Tommy anymore!" and "Tommy will see how important Eddie and Chris are for Buck now and will take a step back!" and that replaced my anguish about the Mara storyline right away with anger at certain fans.

People with children date very successfully. People dating someone with children can be very willing to support their date with caring for the children even if they haven't been dating long yet.

But also: Why the hell should Eddie lose custody of Chris? I have no doubt Chris will be horribly distraught and confused about Kim. (I hate that he met her, but on the other hand, I hope they'll give Gavin the chance to shine with this story line probably in season 8 because he deserves it.) But Eddie is a good father, has always been a good father. He'll take care of Chris. Yes, most likely with the help of Buck because this season started with us seeing Buck being heavily involved in parenting Chris. But I find it kind of ridiculous to assume Chris will move in with Buck or even more so going as far as to claim that this will be a reason for Ramon and Helena to get custody of Chris.

Ryan saying in that one interview that Eddie will feel isolated can also just mean that Chris won't want to talk much to him for a while after this. He clearly isn't isolated from Buck. We got a wonderful supportive scene between Buck and Eddie this episode! But being ignored by your child, who he clearly adores so much, will cut deep. (And of course, Marisol will probably break up with him, right? At least I hope so.)

[goodluckclove]

tw for drugs and sex mentions

yo clove not writing related but do you think it's normal to have not tried recreational drugs by 15 and not particularly want to find them? I've seen people making fun of people for it, along with not having sex which is also concerning to me as a sex-repulsed aroace person (caedosexual and demialterous/aroflux). I'm really anxious about stuff like this so I'd love ur opinion if you're comfortable answering stuff like this, I trust you a lot and you seem like a smart and knowledgeable adult so if you say it's fine I'll probably stop worrying

Hey man if you want to get real let's get real. I won't get too descriptive, but I do agree some people may need the tw so I'll put this under a Read More. Generally my answer is that younger people have a warped view of what warrants maturity and adulthood and a lot of the stuff that they think represents being a Cool Grown Up is actually not meant to be that profoundly world-changing in my opinion. This is especially true for all the stuff that is designed to spike your dopamine, unless in cases where it's being used medicinally (and even then it's case-by-case on if it's really medicinal).

Let's get into it!

So first off let me say the three big things that make me kind of biased to talk about stuff like this.

I am an alloromantic, sex-repulsed asexual

I am an addict

I am a child of addicts

I'll tackle sex first just to get it out of the way, and because I think it'll be easier to answer. Teenagers are one of the most brutal species on the goddamned planet (second only to middle schoolers and that sludge in Chernobyl that kills you immediately if you look at it), and I know for a fact they'll find a way to make fun of you for anything. I didn't know I was asexual in high school. I was an out lesbian at the time - I actually came out on our school broadcast for a GSA ad that ended up playing at least twice a month all year. People were more...too into it, which is also bad.

Mean Teens might say some dumb shit. That sucks, but you'll live. There will be way more Mean Teens that have an opinion on your sex life than there will be Asshole Adults. Like way more. I am open about being an asexual marriage and the worst I get is like "what if you want kids" which - you know - you can shut that down quick.

What matters is what you think about yourself, and the cool truth is that if you go through your whole life never wanting to have sex your life will be very close to unchanged in the grand scheme of things. I'll probably never want to eat a whole olive, and Riley thinks that's crazy because they love olives. But we will both see the same amount of sunsets and cool birds, and we were both eat roughly the amount of yummy snacks and have the same amount of adventures.

I've had sex. Ladies. No, seriously though - it's fine. It's okay. I remember yearning for it for years (I was actually wanting intimacy oops), and when it finally happened I was like oh. that's it? okay. There was a point when my girlfriend at the time actually entered me and I was immediately confused because I had no idea what she was trying to do. I remember I furrowed my brow like I was trying to understand Improv Jazz.

I laughed. i did laugh. That is not great for two people having sex for the first time.

Anyways, I had a few sexual partners and just kind of assumed they were all bad at sex or I was doing something wrong for some reason. Then I met Riley and they were openly ace, and something just clicked in me. I'm still aesthetically and sensually attracted to them (I use sensually in terms that aren't sexual), but there's really no pressure there and we aren't worried about it. And it's awesome.

If someone makes you feel weird about not having sex or a romantic attraction to people then you should feel a little bad for them, because that seems like a thing that a person would only do if they had very little else going on in their lives. That's some bland-ass khaki shit.

Onto intoxicants! So before I moved to Portland I lived in San Jose, California, and shortly after weed was legalized my parents had me start smoking with them - I was 18 - and I ended up being heavily addicted for about three years. This is a divisive thing to say because I know there's some argument about whether or not weed can even be addictive. Let me just say right now, I'm not about to have that argument. I detoxed for about three weeks and I genuinely thought I was dying. Like, I said my "last words" to my mother when she came to check on me. It was rough.

I am not anti-weed. I know it can be an amazing tool for people with certain medical conditions. And if you don't have a history of addiction, it's probably fine to smoke a bowl or a joint every so often and just have that be the end of it. I mean, it's so easy to find now.

Weed is fun, though. That's kind of the reason why it developed it's own culture and persona. The same can be said with alcohol. People definitely have opinions on IPAs. But if someone is so invested in what is essentially little more than an economic industry, that they feel the need to judge you for - spending your money on other stuff? That's piss wizard shit.

Weed is fun, yes, but it is expensive. If someone says they have cheap weed it's probably shit and you need to smoke a lot, or they got it through means that aren't great. And going out to bars also gets costly quick. I still go sometimes, but I limit myself to one fun cocktail.

You can also still go to bars if you want - when you're older, I mean. They can be a good place to meet people and see shows. A lot of them have cool non-alcoholic options - I like when there's a kombucha on tap - or they even have mocktails that are still cool mixed drinks with no alcohol. But they all have Coke or whatever.

There's literally a bar by my house that I go to and I only order the French fries and a Coke. Nobody cares. Getting drunk can be fun if you're in the right situation, but I don't consider it worth the hangover. Getting high can also be fun in the right situation, but edibles taste like trash and if you smoke you're essentially a smoker and that's it's own stigma. What's the alternative - vaping?

Oh my god, vaping? Come on. I have friends that vape and you know how many of them only do it because they're addicted? All of them. Shit sucks. I don't judge them, but I can see them cringe every time they have to hit it.

Also don't let people talk to you about that Delta-8/9 shit. Yeah, it's stronger. Yeah, it's unregulated. But like - it's unregulated and we have no goddamned clue what it'll do in the long run.

Getting high is fun because you don't have to exist in the world for a while and that's great, but it ultimately doesn't solve anything. When I'd smoke a bunch of weed and sativa alone in my bedroom (Hey don't do that! Bad idea! Really bad! My parents knew I was doing this and they allowed it because they are bad people!), I'd giggle and fuck around and eat a lot of snacks, but the next morning all the shit I was trying to escape was still there. Only difference was that now I had to go out and drop another 60 bucks on an eighth to get me through the next two weeks.

A lot of people want to have sex and get drunk or high so they can think of something else other than their current situation for like fifteen minutes to six hours. if you don't want to do either of that, and you're not going absolutely insane, that seems pretty cool. I can cite all the studies that say that a lot of that kind of stuff can actually stunt your development if you get into it too early (Or at all, really), but you don't need me to do that. You know that's the case. I knew that and I still OD'd on weed twice before the age of 21.

You're good, man. It's not a culture when you do that this young, it's a coping skill. And if you found a different one that's going to be way better for you in the long run. You can still have fun and make friends, you can even still have a partner in life if you find that's something you want. Your life is might seem limited in a few ways - but it's actually far more open in many, many other ones.

I don't mind questions like these all, by the way. Thanks for trusting me!

[silvers-starrway]

If not already asked

👁️ - How do other people perceive this oc? How close do their first assumptions come to the truth?

⚔️ - How does this oc handle conflict?

Hehe neither have been asked yet!

👁️ - How do other people perceive this oc? How close do their first assumptions come to the truth? In universe most people would think they're ab it off putting and weird. While the weird part is correct Tulip is pretty approachable and loves making friends so that tends toe catch people by surprise. Out of universe quite a few people have assumed they're more feminine I guess but I've always viewed Tulip as being very androgynous. This might just be a quirk of my art style though haha.

⚔️ - How does this oc handle conflict? Tulip does really bad with any kind of conflict and they try to avoid it at all costs. This can be for better or for worst. They still need to learn how to let themselves feel anger and sadness in a healthy manner before they can even start to think about confronting people or how to handle conflict.

Ask Tulip an oc question!

@sonic-fankid-showdown

[voidscreamns]

./

[redysetdare]

Hey you! yeah you stop! don't type another word! listen - listen I know what you're trying to do. you think you're being helpful by going on someones post and telling them to look at a specific media that has the basic similarity to what their post is asking for. But I'm going to tell you a secret, okay? They probably already know it. People have probably already told them about it. they probably have checked it out. because when you have such limited options it's kind of impossible not to hear about these things...and guess what...guess what - they might not of even liked it. Because if someone is asking for representation they likely want it in a story that they'll enjoy. yeah, not everyone wants to read YA drama/romance books just for the representation, crazy i know. Yeah some of us actually want well written stories about things we actually care about. some of us want characters to be like us while they fight dragons or something.

so stop typing that message about how OP should totally check out X media. maybe, if you really wanna recommend something, maybe just ASK OP is they are looking for suggestions and what kind of stories they like so you know if that's even what they're looking for. trust me, they'll appreciate your input a lot more if you just ask.

[xwonderlandresidentx]

Being a black geek, or just a geek of color in general, is so hard. Sometimes I'll be scrolling through art and fics for the various fandoms I'm interested in and see a bunch of great stuff made about all the white characters and I'll think "Man, all this stuff is so great, why don't I interact with these fandoms more often?" And then I'll check the artists' and writers' blogs and see so many of them whitewash poc characters, and describe black characters as "tan", and strip away indications of their culture, and completely change their personalities, and then I'll remember "oh yeah, that's why."

[5-pp-man]

No. You guys don't get it. Yosukan is about them wanting to earn each other's respect, its about overcoming internalised homophobia together, it's about having each other's back and helping each other out and

[monstermoviedean]

thanks for being nice to me <3

[embraceyourdestiny]

I’ve figured out how to word my contempt for “straight ships”

I don’t hate fictional straight couples outright. What I hate is the absence of effort and genuineness 90% of straight ships have.

Someone else’s love is not a right you are obligated to. Most straight couples are written with zero effort to earn the love they have. Because many straight creators think there is no work to be done. That a straight man and a straight women being together is inherent. No work is needed to be done because it’s expected.

And I hate that.

I hate it with any relationship, I like relationships because they have depth, but I particularly hate it with straight couples because that is the “normal” mindset towards it. It either happens as a man expects a woman to fall to his feet without doing anything for her or a woman expects a man to throw his life on the line because that’s what is “supposed” to happen and that is so gross to me. That’s not what love is.

Usually I dislike the straight pairings in stories because they are that. You don’t see the two people grow, together or on their own. They don’t prove themselves worthy of the others love, they think it’s something they are granted, have a right to. I don’t usually demand “evidence” for ships because it’s all make believe and for fun but I will not like most thrown together straight ships because of this very thought. There’s no reality to their bond. They do not like even like each other most of the time, and somehow I am supposed to suspend believe and think the most average or even terrible and bland straight relationship is the greatest love story of all time, every time I see it?

Some of my most special ships are between a man and a woman and sometimes I imagine they as straight but they are special because of the journey they went on together and I witnessed them experience that. Or they just have so much genuine love for each other, even if I didn’t see them get together I can still feel their affectionate in all they do. They were that well written that I couldn’t possibly deny the obvious love they have for each other.

Also. I’m gay as FUCK. The most cisheteronormative emotionally constipated strangers-at-best straight pairing will never appeal to me because I have zero stakes or relatability in that. They have no love for each other, no kind of bond or understanding or similar place in the world that lets them understand and feel and devote. They are noting to each other and therefore nothing to me.

[stinkrascal]

redditors will read a post where someone does something vaguely mean and immediately the comments are filled with armchair psychiatrists diagnosing everyone with borderline personality disorder because apparently the only symptom of bpd is when you’re mean to others

[illputdownmyrootswhenimdead]

thinkin about how many times in my childhood it should have been Obvious i have Something Going On