#if the answer is 'yes' then all i can say is congrats bro

[searidings]

as a Scientist who works in a Laboratory, it always makes me laugh seeing how dressed up Lena is in her lab. in my building, 9/10 of us are in jeans/joggers, a t-shirt, and an oversized lab coat. the odd postdoc might wear a collared shirt if they're feeling fancy, but that's about it

okay but are YOU on a one track mission to get railed into next year by a hunky kryptonian-come-reporter who could land on your lab doorstep at any time, thus necessitating the eternal presence of the fruitiest horniest wardrobe choices your wildly overinflated bank account can afford? check and mate

[folkloresthings]

BECAUSE I LIKED A BOY / CL16.

in which the world’s favourite pop princess becomes tangled in the life of a certain formula one driver, flipping her entire world upside down.

( charles leclerc x singer!au )

track one: lonesome. track two: fast times. track three: nonsense. track four: opposite. track five: how many things. track six: bad for business.

✩⡱ warnings: like one curse word

INSTAGRAM.

liked by oliviarodrigo, charlieputh, and 738,928 others

yourusername baby’s too pretty to be put in the corner

view all 56,914 comments

landonorris BARK BARK

user mother is mothering

sza i’m so in love with you it’s silly

charles_leclerc pretty indeed

⤷ user unhinged charles spotted

⤷ user he’s making moves people!!!

lewishamilton are y’all seeing what i’m seeing

yourusername added to their story!

TWITTER.

the pre—race buzz was electric in the ferrari garage, your phone pinging with messages beckoning you to the mercedes garage on the other end of the paddock. you knew lewis wanted to see you, he’d been the one to invite you to the race in the first place, but there was something pulling you to the room filled with red. someone.

“hello again,” your smile widened across your face as charles dodged past mechanics to find you by the wall. his decorated race suit adored his lean figure, but his head was still free of his helmet, despite the clock ticking closer to when he needed to be in the car.

that godforsaken smile of his mirrored your own, knees wobbling as soon as it graced your gaze. without thinking, his arms pulled you into a hug. a friendly one, to be sure. a happy to see you, no matter how your heart yearned for another reason. the emerald in his eyes shone down at you, that same look he’d given you when you’d first met all those weeks ago backstage before your show.

and now here you were, after weeks of texts and late night calls, staring at each other through a fog of tension, waiting with bated breath. he speaks first, and you try so desperately to ignore how his gloved fingers brush your wrist when he does.

“what are you doing tonight?”

you blink, his eyes hopeful for an answer. your head shakes, shoulders shrugging, brain nagging to be an ounce cooler than you were being right now. “i don’t know. why?”

“let me take you to dinner. it’ll be my prize, if i win,” he speaks quickly, as though he needs to say it before hesitancy can change his mind. that familiar lump of nerves turns in your stomach, one you hadn’t felt in a long time. not since austin first asked you out — a feeling that had ended in catastrophe. could you face that kind of tumble again?

“charles, you have to go!” a voice nearby urges, every other driver already behind their wheels. urges him to move, and you to answer. his feet are moving backwards, slowly, but his eyes stay trained on you, awaiting your reply.

“well, you’d better win then.”

INSTAGRAM.

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charles_leclerc P1!!! so happy with today’s result, thanks to everyone who got me there ♥️ time to celebrate (even more)

view all 467,333 comments

scuderiaferrari YES! 🍾🍾🍾

user THE THIRD PIC???

⤷ user bro thinks he’s slick

yourusername congrats again!! super duper proud 💌

⤷ user the hair in the pic looks so much like hers oml

⤷ user she literally just got out of a relationship like five minutes ago

yourusername i think i trust you enough to teach me to drive now

⤷ charles_leclerc only now? ouch, my heart ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

⤷ lewishamilton STOP FLIRTING

INSTAGRAM.

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yourusername what the fuck is patience?

view all 661,820 comments

charli_xcx damned if i know

pheobebridgers a man? 🤢🤢🤢

⤷ yourusername so true bbz

user SQUINTING to see who the guy is

⤷ user maybe it’s just a friend?? who cares

⤷ user puh lease he got her flowers

charles_leclerc nice flower arrangement

⤷ yourusername i know a sexy florist, want his # ?

user I MOVED

TWITTER.

writer’s note: they’re getting there 😭 i’m emotionally attached to this fictional couple i can’t. fyi this is just a filler to move them along there’ll be drama soon dw

[shakirawastaken]

dsmp if...they wanted to propose to you!

dsmp if... series goes wild  anyway

dream: - he’d put himself out there with a poise of confidence and strategy - like bro is prepared . he knows when where what why and how all this shit is happening  - but is also kinda like “ill just wing it and we’ll see how it goes lol” - get this man a schedule - he doesnt want to do a whole public thing so in my head i see him proposing to you in like a restaurant but like a fancy one - hed splurge for sURE  - one of those guys who had like 50 million meeting with ring companies to design the perfect one - asked his mom for help on designing a ring  - he had the blueprint for a speech in his head but when the moment came he went with the flow  - but when hes proposing hed remember his speech so hed be like - “i had this speech that id written, but looking at you made me forget it all, will you marry me?” or some shit like that LMFAOOO - pays sapnap money to come eat the place too so he can take pictures 

sapnap: - okay sapnap is a family man in my head - hed also want to do a destination proposal - maybe greece? rome? somewhere not in america is what im feeling - or hed do it in a fucking ranch in texas or like down the street from the dream team house either one - EITHER WAY he would want your parents and his parents MINIMUM to be there - searches up “best wedding ring designs 2022″ in google and hopes and prays - hed have one or two meeting to plan the ring but i think he’d be confident in what you like  - even if he has no clue - like “so sir, do you think your future fiance would like a rose gold band or gold band?” “rose gold for sure” *has no idea what you like * - would not try to plan a speech, he knows he’d forget it and wouldn’t even use it - saves all that material for the vows - so confident you’ll say yes that he starts calling ahead to look at venues to tour - LMFAO IMAGINE YOU ANSWER HIS PHONE AND THE GUY IS LIKE “hello yes we’re calling nick because he had interest in touring our wedding venue! congrats on the engagement!” - and youd be like “tf” - so you know - but dont tell him you know please it would make his year 

george: - is nervous - “dream what if they say no idk” “bro youre a fucking idiot” - def doesnt want to do a public proposal, he likes the private aspect - so he does it at home or some shit and his phone up to record cause bro knows youd be mad if you had no memento - but he doesnt do it secretly - hed press record and set it up so you can obviously see it - and youre expecting some prank - but then he gets down on one knee and youre tearing up and shi right in the middle of your kitchen - get mad at him for not letting you dress up and look nice for it - has a speech planned out in his head. word for word. and recites that shit back to you like its fucking drama class - once u say yes hes on discord like “SHE SAID YES” and sapnaps like “no fucking shit” - he’s the type of guy to make a ring that he likes and hopes that you like it too - luckily you do like the ring so it all works out - if not just tell him he wont be mad hell just go make a new one

quackity: - asks you like a few months earlier if you want to get married - “do you wanna get married” “sure” - so he knows youre locked in and ready to go LMFAOO even if you interpreted it as light hearted at the time - because of that theres a little suspicion that goes on in your mind when you see him go “i gotta take this call” or “no im def not looking up wedding venues 2023 what do you mean” - but you being the great s/o you are just ignore it - is he proposing or did he take you on a late night drive to an outlook thing - is he proposing or did you catch karl in the bushes with a camera - is he proposing or did he say youre beautiful - is he proposing or did he get down on one knee?? YK WHAT IM SAYING - bro just stares at you and you stare at him like - “babe” “babe” love - youre nodding ur head yes before bro gets a chance to speak - which is good cause he didn’t know what he wanted to say - not that he doesnt know what to say its just - he has so many words for you that he cant put them into words - was ready to blurt out a mixture of spanish and english and hope u caught his drift

karl: - enlists the help of his friend - “hey tina take y/n to get their nails done” - “hey brooke take y/n to get a new dress” - “hey sapnap give me money to buy y/n a ring” LMFAOFMOA - no hed be saving up that shit for AGES - started a proposal dream pinterest board the minute he knew you were the one - subtly ran ideas by you over the course of the years you were together - you didnt think of anything. blissfully unaware - “look at this picture on pinterest!” “oh its sO PRETTY!! imagine getting engaged there” - *saves it to the board* - BUT AS A RESULT he cant make up his mind on where to propose - so he just picks one enie-meanie-miney-mo or however you spell it  - wherever it ends up being its so sweet - mr beast or someone tricks you into coming to the location under the guise of a video  - and you show up and its karl in a suit - “lets go on a walk love” “okay?” - you get an idea of whats about to happen

wilbur: - stalks your pinterest stalks your moms pinterest stalks your ex friends sister met someone at the club and he kissed her’s pinterest - is SO CONFIDENT he’s got everything right because all his information is form you directly - plans that shit out to a T  - “okay phil at 11:02 am you call y/n and say good morning any plans for the day then tommy at 11:34 am call y/n and ask her if she wants to join you for a vlog at [location]” “dude wil we know lets just get on with it” - chooses somewhere with ambience with music perhaps by the ocean or a river or something - meticulously listens to all of spotify for the perfect song to play in the background - hired james and ash (professionals) to film  -  public proposal wants the world to know that he is wilbur and he loves you -  isnt nervous about proposing but is scared something is gonna go wrong -  the whole build up to the proposal is a blur to him  - he wants it to be perfect - hes mentally checking everything off in his head as it happens - “okay so we arrived on time, check” “we’re standing in the right direction check” - when the time comes to propose he blanks - cause everything went right and now its showtime - says whatever is on his mind and then gets on track - “oh my god everything i alright this is amazing! but i love you dear like a lot and...” - cue cheering from tommy (and a lot of soft smiles from random people) when you say yes 

please send me requests it took me days to figure out what to write about here

[factual-fantasy]

Heya Factual! Congrats on the 23,000! Yet another well deserved milestone earned by your hard work and dedication! Really sorry about the cold- we always seem to get sick at the worst of times! Definitely don't do anything crazy till you're 100%, but thanks for making that really cute celebration piece- you can really tell how much the factual Fam cares about you from their worried expressions...and then there's Gerald, who refuses to let his happy demeanor waver for a second! Though then again, he is still quite young- he might not even understand the concept of getting sick yet!

And on that note, at least till you're better, I definitely won't send any unnecessarily exhausting Asks like last time ( thanks for answering that so thoroughly though- that was really cool! ) and just keep it simple- and my ask today is regarding the simplest Mario enemy, the goomba!

You've mentioned them in the past as beings created by Kamek- How does he do it? How long has he been doing it? Are the goombas sentient, or just savage constructs? How many are there, in ratio to the Koopas? Did the bros have to fight through a bunch of them on their way to the castle? And do any of their variants exist, such as the micro goombas, para goombas, or giant goombas? We require the Goomba Lore!

Thank you! :DD I'm doing my best to take it easy.. I've spent most of my days recently either sleeping, sitting, or playing Pokemon Scarlet XDD that's relaxing right? Yes, I believe so-

As for Gerald, he isn't ignorant to my condition- he's actually meant to be surprisingly emotionally aware. :0 He's smiling though all this because he wants the others to be happy. And if he's calm and smiling, maybe we'll smile too.. 🥺

I was intending to draw a comic that goes into Gerald's character a bit more... But I just haven't been well enough recently to take on a project like that.. :((

And don't worry about "exhausting asks", I encourage them! :D I could really use some lengthy asks as a form of distraction to be honest.. 🥹💔

Speaking of asks, about your Goomba questions..

Well, starting with Kamek actually- I have intentions to make him a few hundred years old. Being the most powerful magikoopa there ever was supposedly.. and he's been associated with the royal Koopa family for generations.. though this idea is in canon limbo, because I'm having trouble figuring how exactly he's managed to live so long. Considering how magic works in my au.. his lengthy life span shouldn't be possible..

None the less, even though I haven't gotten that idea to fit yet- I love it so much that most of the au kinda branches off from it- <XDDD so with that established, Kamek brings Goombas to "life" using magic of course!

I was thinking that the ability animate dead/inanimate things is a very complex magic that took Kamek years to learn. And he was only finally able to master it in the last 100 years or so.

Now for the Goombas, they are not sentient for sure. They are just these little.. zombie like.. machines. They start as poisonous mushrooms and when they are "brought to life", they gain this desire and need move and attack anything that doesn't appear to be a Koopa.

As for the Koopa to Goomba ratio.. I'd say they make up 1.5/10 of the kingdoms population. They are very disposable and "easy" to make.. but they are relatively fragile creatures and take a while to grow.. plus the Goombas don't live very long. Since they uproot themselves upon being "Goomba-fied", they eventually wilt and die.. :/ so that number doesn't ever go over 1.5.

I'm sure Mario and Luigi had to squash some on the way to save Peach the first time. But it was only after her rescue that one landed a bite on Luigi..

As for their variants, the micro and Giant Goombas surly exist! Though king Goomba might not because the original brown mushrooms probably don't grow that big-

As for para-goombas.. hmm.. I know there won't be any Goombas with wings going around. But perhaps there could be a Goomba that can release airborne spores.. or at the very least can attack from afar.. that could get them the title of para-goomba! :0

I think I covered everything, I hope at least-

Thank you for the ask and interest in my au! :DDD it was a nice read and took my mind off of all my ailments for a short time 🥹💖

[urplepurplegurgleturgle]

Your art is

The literal definition of perfect

ITS TOO GOOD TO BE REAL

Are you even real

How dare you

HOW DARE YOU CREATE THE BEST ART IVE EVER SEEN???/pos

I. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

I HAVE TO COMPLIMENT YOU

*starts vibrating*

R...RA....RAHHHHHHHHH👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOUR ART/PLAT EVERYTIME I SEE YOUR ART I FEEL FLABBERGASTED. LIKE. HOW??? THE COLORS... YOUR STYLE... THE PERSPECTIVE... THE POSE... THE EXPRESSIONS... IM JELLY.. WHERE'S MY TOAST???/JK/POS

YOU....YOU. *GRABS YOU AND SHAKES YOU LIKE A SNOW GLOBE* AGRHWGRHAHRGAHRAGDHAGRHAGRHWGWHDHQGEUEGAHHRAGEHQGEHQGEHQGEHQGGEGWQG

YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND ILYSM/PLAT AND YOU'RE ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET AND YOU'RE SO PRECIOUS AND IMPORTANT AND FUNNY AND SWEET (...I MEAN- NOT REALLY. IM SURE YOU WOULD KILL PEOPLE) AND NICE AND YOU SOMETIMES BULLY ME BUT IDC ILYYYYY AND IM SO GLAD WE MET AND CONGRATS ON 200 FOLLOWERS AND KEEP GOING!!! I BELIEVE IN YOUUUU YOU'RE AMAZING🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

I WANNA HUG YOU. CAN I HUG YOU????

*SOBS BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BEST BIG BRO EVER*

—maybe you know me BUT maybe you don't 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤨🤨🤨🧐🤔🤔🤔

oh wait I guess it's too obvious who I am

ANYWAYS

Okay I know I said I wasn’t gonna check my notifs but I’m a weak pussyass and I did it

I was originally just going to check everything and respond to them all when I get back home but… I honestly cannot hold off answering this ask.

Mikey. El. You. My little sis.

I FUCKING LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!1!!11!1!!1!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

OH MY GOD???? *ALSO SOBS BECAUSE YOU’RE THE BEST LIL SIS EVER*

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!!! /plat obvi

YOU’RE THE BEST YOU’RE ALWAYS SO SWEET TO ME AND YOU ALWAYS SAY HI AND GOOD MORNING AND YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY AND VENT TO ME WHICH MAKES ME FEEL SPECIAL AND NEEDED AND I LOVE THAT FEELING I LOVE YOU YOU’RE THE CUTEST FUNNIEST BESTEST LITTLE SISTER I COULD EVER ASK FOR AND I WOULD DEFINITELY MURDER A MAN FOR YOU IF YOU ASKED YOU’RE SUCH A WEIRDO /aff AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU YOU’RE SO FUN TO BE AROUND AND YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

HAHAYTATAATRARAAAGH *frothing at the mouth* THANK YOU I LOVE YOU GOD I’M SAYING I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH BUT IDC I MEAN IT I LOVE YOU

YES YOU CAN HUG ME YOU CAN ALWAYS HIG ME I WILL ALWAYS HAVE ENOUGH HUGS FOR YOU COME HERE SQUEEZES YOU SQUEEZES YOU SQUEEZES YOU

[aristre]

south park main four + whichever characters you want and how many times they failed their driving test. (how many times they failed their writing test as a treat pls)

can u ask me about south park yaoi next .. didn't realize i had sm to say on south park driving so i'm putting her under the cut

stan marsh

bro ... to be honest with u ... he fails the writing test twice cuz he does NOT read them questions and bc it's south park they have weird ass questions

"what do you not do when a pedestrian has a gun?" "oh sweet a pedestrian question? obviously it's yield" and then he picks yield and big ass red text comes up on the screen saying WRONG! DIPSHIT or something equally as aggravating

punched the screen at the dmv after failing like 5 of these in a row on his second try and got kicked out. then he started reading the questions the third time and passed

okay now the driving test. he only fails once and this is because he is TOO GOOD of a driver. pulls up at the dmv with one hand on the wheel and the other out the window you already know he's gonna get hella points docked off

no one told him to look left and right. or turn all the way for his blind spots. he doesn't use turn signals like a normal guy and he runs the yellows. there is nothing even wrong with his driving but let's be real he learned how to drive from his dad in 4th grade he drives like an old man

pulls into the parking lot easy peasy confident he passed then the dmv guy is like I marked you down 30 points. Read the driving manual. and then slams the door. stan almost runs into dmv guy as bro is walking back into the dmv and throws him the bird.

then because it's humiliating to not have a license he actually drove like a prude the second time

kyle broflovski

no he doesn't fail the written test he's kyle broflovski he would die of humiliation first

the embarrassing part is bro tryharded on the written test like he read the entire manual and did all the practice exams and then read every question carefully

but yes he passes .. congrats i guess

kyle would also fail once but for a different reason than stan. he drives like your grandmother. he drives like a 15.5 year old on their first driving lesson. always 2 mph under the speed limit, always checking the mirrors, etc

he would do the exam completely perfectly, not a single point off, then as he's pulling into the dmv parking lot he hits the curb. getting a critical failure. and then his ass has to come back next week to test again

no one lets him live it down though!

kenny mccormick

you know what i think he'd get killed while taking the written test. it's not fair stan fails when no one ik fails it so i'm gonna make him fail too

it's going pretty well he's missed 4 but he's on the last stretch then the dmv gets a gas leak and he not only gets carbon monoxide poisoning but also misses every single other question because he has carbon monoxide poisoning and it makes you twitter weird

then he passes yay!

and honestly for the driving exam? he got from his dad a car basically built from spare parts from the junkyard, it has a mileage of 990,000, it takes 5 minutes to start, and the brake works maybe 60% of the time.

but he actually learns pretty well from both his dad and stan, who is the better driver. and then he goes into the dmv in his broken asf car for his exam

and he does NOT fail. kenny does NOT fail. he pulls into the parking lot, parks a little on the white line, and dmv guy is like that is your 14th error. congrats. you passed just barely

he passed!!!

eric cartman

yeah um the written test is a test. he would never pass that shit not because he can't but because he reads it and he makes up his own answer which is not in the answer key. then he selects one at random and misses it

he does pass the second time because he comes up with an elaborate scheme involving butters to cheat on the exam which works but took twice as much effort and thrice as much time to get done versus actually studying for the exam so like....

he always takes the theatrically interesting way out, i suppose

now for the driving test. of course, no question, he fails three times and has to take the written test again. only person to do so in his friend group. and you want to know why?

every. single. driving exam. a minority walks by the crosswalk and without fail every single time he floors the gas and runs them over

yeah. that's right. eric cartman manslaughter. there's nothing else i can say because i'm sure this is self evident. i rest my case

[borathae]

Girls do you have a dating advice? I'm coming here because I like that this space doesn't cater to overrated stupid gender roles.

I like this guy on my campus and I felt he might too so ended up asking him out for a coffee! He agreed very enthusiastically and chose a lovely café. I felt very comfortable with him but I'm not sure if he considered it a a coffee with a friend. He did share that he's an introvert and he doesn't go out much because he's sober now and that he's shy. He said he wished the coffee meetup was longer he did text me to stay warm and kept the conversation going for a few days after sharing little updates about his day, telling me twice that he really enjoyed talking to me and thought I was smart. Then silence. I reached out, he was very sweet again and we texted briefly. Then silence again for a week.

My question is should I ask him out again or do I wait for him to reciprocate this ? I'm willing to try if it's shyness but I don't want to be the girl that thinks this is something that it isn't. I truly don't mind his shyness but I'm scared he's just being polite and sweet to an acquaintance and that's it.

as an introvert myself who rarely texts back right away, this could just be him being an introvert. After a full day of living in an extrovert ruled world, it can get pretty tiring for us and answering people's texts is sometimes already too much mental work to do even if we really care about the person. also, once we do have free time and time to noone but ourselves, we don't wanna ruin the healing time by making mental space for other humans even if it's just texts, so we'll just tell ourselves "I'll get to that later, I gotta have me time rn". so yeah that could be why there is long pauses in between texting. it's probs not you but him recharging his batteries.

straight men don't tell an acquaintance that they wanted the meetup to be longer and that they enjoyed the talk. bro all my male straight friends are the driest motherfuckers ever despite genuinely caring for our friendship. Most men don't say stuff like that and he's just an acquaintance for now. There's even less reason for him to be that lovey dovey with you other than that he wants to give you romantic hints.

you were strangers (sort of) before you asked him and he agreed enthusiatically. you weren't friends just agreeing on a lil friend date in a local café, you guys were strangers who met up with the goal of getting to know each other better. which also brings me back to point two. he didn't really know you before your meet up, he didn't have any sort of unspoken friendship friendliness rule of "tell your friends you liked the hangout" to follow.

Yes ask him out. we've long stopped waiting for men to make the first move. if you wanna see him again, do it. he'll probably appreciate it because of his shyness.

if it doesn't work out, hell you experienced life and made fucking stories to tell later. you won't die from it and will only come out more mature.

if it works out, congrats you just gave yourself a chance to a (potentially) happy romance. enjoy it.

Sorry if my advice sucked, I think I'm still not back to my full potential. If anyone of you wants to leave advice as well, do so hahaha cause I think mine was very mediocre. i also wanna say that dude idk i think i'm still too sad about what happened to really think clearly. sorry if all my answers were shit, it's because i still feel like shit from bangtan leaving.

[pensat-i-fet]

The Journalist’s Footballer- Chapters Seventeen and Eighteen (Rúben Dias)

Word count: 1415

Chapter 17:

Rúben

“Rubes, does you girl post about everything she does on IG?”, asks John when we are on the lift on our way to breakfast.

“Rúben has a girl?”, asks Kyle. “I want to see her”.

“I don’t have a girl”, I say. “And yes, she posts a lot. It’s cute”.

“Yeah, I bet you found the video of her doing yoga real cute”, he laughs.

“Shut up!”

“Who is this girl?”, asks Kyle again, annoyed.

“A friend. But Mr nosey had to go and follow her on IG”, I say rolling my eyes at John.

He just shrugs. 

“But can I see her or not?”, asks Kyle for the hundredth time.

“Just show him a photo, John. So he stops asking”.

And when he does, I can see a little smirk on his face. “Good job, bro”, he tells me walking to the table.

I just shake my head.

“Good luck today ����"

“Thank you. I’ll see you after the match 😘"

I put my phone away to concentrate on the match. Big game against Villa, plus our competitors have dropped points. Except for Spurs. Christina will be happy about that.

Christina

Being at the Etihad feels a bit strange. The seats we got at the Emirates were near the families as well, but I had Jess with me. And…I don’t know. Here I feel more exposed. Like people will wonder who I am and what I do here. So I just try to keep a low profile.

The first thing I do when I sit down is posting the photo I took outside of the stadium. I caption it “Not turning into a City fan, dad. I swear!”.

A couple of minutes later I have a couple of comments on it.

Sarah: keep telling yourself that, babe.

Lily: do it!! I’ll finally become the favourite daughter 😂😂

John: you say that now, but…

Wait, what is John doing here? And he’s following me too? How did I miss that?

Anyways. Time to put the phone away and enjoy the match.

**

City win 3-1 and extend their point difference with the second-place team, Spurs. I guess we’ll have to beat them here in a couple of weeks to reduce that distance again.

I then make my way to the area where Rúben told me to wait for him, trying not to get lost. When I get there, I have to show my ID and when I get inside, I can see it’s mostly filled with the player’s families. Yeah, I don’t fit here at all. And also, I’m not sure I want them to see me with Rúben and for rumours to start.

“Hey. Congrats on the win!! 😊

Could we meet somewhere else? All the families are here and I feel a bit out of place.”

A couple of minutes later, he answers saying he’ll send someone to pick me up and walk me to the dressing room. Ok…

“Christina?”, says a security guard after entering the room. Everyone stares at him.

“Yes? That’s me!”, I say, making everyone turn to look at me now.

“Come with me, please”.

I do as he says and follow him out of the room, feeling everyone’s eyes on me. 

“You can wait here”, he tells me, pointing at some chairs near the dressing rooms.

“Thanks”.

“Hi Chris!”, I hear a couple of minutes later and I turn to find John waving at me.

“Hi! Congrats on the win. And the assist”.

“Thanks. Did you enjoy the match?”

“I did”.

“Great. Do you want me to wait with you until Rúben comes back? He should be here soon”, he asks me.

“No, don’t worry. I’m sure you have people waiting for you”.

“Yeah, my daughter is here. Maybe you saw her with the rest of the kids in the room?”

“Well”, I say scrunching my nose. “There were a lot of kids and all of their shirts said “Daddy”, so it’s hard to tell who belonged to who”.

He laughs. “Yeah, that’s fair. I’ll introduce you to her another day”.

“Ok”, I add, feeling strange at the mention of another day. It’s like he expects me to be here without a doubt when I have plenty.

“See you soon”, he says with a wink and leaves.

Before I have time to turn to look at the dressing room’s door again, I notice someone covering my eyes with their hands. I jump at the touch, but then relax when I hear Rúben’s voice. 

“Who am I?”

Chapter 18:

Rúben

“Emm…Harry Kane?”

“No”, I say, trying not to laugh.

“Well, that’s disappointing”, she says. “Oh please, don’t tell me you are that Rúben Dias guy. I can’t stand him”.

I move my hands from her eyes to her shoulders to turn her, frowning at her.

“Well, too bad for you”.

She just laughs and then hugs me, again. I can get used to her and her hugs.

“Congrats”, she says. 

“Thanks”, I say, smiling down at her. “Should we get going?”

“Yeah”.

And so we go back to my car.

“I was thinking about our next match at home”, I tell her.

“Spurs, yeah. Don’t talk to me that day”, she says giving me a funny look.

“Ok, but, how about you come to the match?”

“I can’t”, she says and my spirits go down immediately.

“Why?”

“I’m going home to visit my family. It’s been a long time since I got to see them”.

“Oh, ok. Well, family first”, I try to laugh to hide my disappointment.

“Always”.

“So”, I start talking again. “Will we be able to see each other before the World Cup?”

If we do well, and I really hope we do, I’ll be gone for over a month. If I don’t see her before leaving, it’ll be two months away from her. And just thinking about it annoys me.

“I don’t think so”, she says, looking outside of the window.

“Well, that fucking sucks”, I say, stating the obvious.

That gets a sad laugh from Christina. “Yeah”.

When we make it to my apartment, I realise she’s leaving now. I’ll have to drive her to the station in less than an hour and then not see her again for two months. How am I supposed to do that?

“I’ll go finish packing”, she says, noticing my change in mood.

“Ok. I’ll go get changed”.

Christina

The moment both Rúben and I realised we are not seeing each other in a long time, everything changes. It’s as if someone had turned the reality button on to show us this weekend was the exception.

Only 5 minutes later, I’m sure everything is properly packed and I make my way to the kitchen, where I find Rúben sitting in a chair.

“Rúben?”, I say softly making him turn.

“You ready?”

“Yeah, but we don’t need to leave for another 40 minutes. How about going to the park again? No call will ruin it this time”.

That manages to put a little smile back on his face. “Let’s go”.

When we sit on the bench, I speak before I realise what I’m saying. I just can’t stand this silence between us.

“I’ve been offered a job”, I say, making Rúben look up at me.

“Have you? Who offered the job?”

“Tom”, I say, waiting to see if he makes the connection.

“Tom?...No!”, he turns fully to face me. “Have you been offered a job at City?”

I nod.

“Christina! That’s amazing!”, he says, beaming.

And that makes me smile too. 

“Did you say yes to his offer?”

“I didn’t have the chance. He just mentioned it and told me to think about it. I’ll obviously have to talk to my current boss and wait a couple of weeks to change jobs but…I think I want to say yes”.

I have been thinking about it since I told Sarah. She’s right. The job is better and the city is cheaper. I can grow as a journalist and make good connections for future jobs. And of course, Rúben is in Manchester too.

“You’ll be moving to Manchester, right?”, he asks.

I nod again. 

“And working with me?”

“Well, I don’t know exactly how much we’ll work together but, yeah, the same team. So I guess I’m likely to see you here and there”, I say laughing. 

“Please say yes”, he says, staring so intensely into my eyes, that he might as well be staring at my soul. 

[moldycrustyvoldy]

Lesson 2: Writers = Humans; you Pieces of shit

There better be reblogs with fucking memes of crying children or I’m gonna be pissed. Anyway toodaloo :))))))))))

Today’s Lesson: What is a Fanfiction Writer/Creator? I Think They Might Be a Human with Feelings Too?!?!?!?

Hold up. Wait. Hold the phone. The master behind the words on your screen are people too? Somebody call fucking Einstein cause this shit is a revelation. Like the words how make me giggle with teeth-sickening cotton candy fluff, and the words that make me fucking sob until I’m nauseous and can’t breathe let alone make it through my day are written by people? HOLD. THE. PHONE. 😧

I know you guys are absolutely losing your marbles. But I’ve got something that’s gonna rip this fandom (jegulus fandom in particular im staring at you) apart. Guess. Just guess. 

Do people have feelings too?!?!? WAIT. So they write and have lives? They’re not just waiting all day 24/7 for me to demand a new AU or prompt for them to write or create? WRITERS HAVE JOBS? FAMILIES? KIDS? They cry and smile too? They go through trauma and happiness and all the emotions???? They need breaks??? SDIHFSIEUFBOEFHCNOWEHVOWEVBNWEVOV THIS IS FUCKING BREAKING NEWS RIGHT?!?!🤯

Okay for those of you who cannot breathe right now, it’s okay, I know this information is a lot. You’re stupidity will pass I promise. Let me rub your back with your consent (consent what's that???) as we take deep breaths together. 

Alrighty assholes, stop fucking breathing im tired of rubbing your fucking back. As soon as this fandom got bigger (jegulus fandom), people started acting like it was commissioned writing. “You tell me and I’ll write word for word.” 

I think we’re having some trouble comprehending this. Let’s break it down with an example shall we? 

Fay (she/her) had just joined the marauders fandom after being kicked out of the Star Wars fandom for god knows what. She’s a perfect little angel, isn’t she? So Fay decided to explore the marauders corner of ao3. Suddenly, she doesn’t find the specific “Star Wars au, wolfstar, hurt no comfort, no guns or physical/emotional pain allowed” fic. What a tragedy!! So Fay decided, “you know what? let’s harass ASK my favorite wolfstar author until they write my fic!!”

If you’re like Fay, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I WILL EXPLAIN THIS ONCE AND ONCE ALONE.

Authors are not puppets. Authors are not puppets. Authors are not puppets. Authors are not puppets. 

I HAD TO SAY IT 4 FUCKING TIMES BECAUSE CLEARLY IT GOES IN ONE EAR AND WRIGGLES ITS SLIMLY LITTLE ASS OUT THE OTHER EAR

If you haven’t noticed or it hasn’t gone through your pea-sized brain yet, this is a hobby for writers. HOBBY. 

(Noun) “an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.”

and if you’re really stupid here’s an example, "her hobbies are reading and gardening.”

OMG look, you learned a new word!!! Congrats!! auggie is so proud of you. 🥳🥰😝🥰🤪😘🤪

 But can we handle one more word? Let’s try.

“A fanfiction is a story created by someone who earns no money* and still share it with the community.”

Why don’t we try summarizing what we learned today?

NO MONEY = FREE

HOBBY = SOMETHING YOU DO FOR FUN

AUTHORS = PEOPLE WITH FEELINGS = NOT PUPPETS

If this lesson was hard for you to understand, honey you are the problem. I’ll be back to run your asses through the fire again later!

Notes:

Technically there’s a fine line when it comes to “kicking out of a fandom”. It’s a very broad term. I know some people will come at me with your little questions and what not. In a fandom you cannot necessarily be “kicked out”. Yes you may be blocked but other members cannot just take away your internet access or interest and stop you from enjoying it? I mean it more as a general statement, as a whole. If you’re getting “kicked out” for valid reasons you fucked up bro, not the fandom.

AND I know absolutely nothing about the Star Wars fandom, so don’t ask me random questions I don’t have opinionated or hc answers to.

**I’m not getting into the money shit with you guys because that’s a fucking hole I would never want to die in so as a general statement for our purposes, most of the fanfiction authors earn no money for their creative talents*

[silver-and-stars]

Watching Vampire Academy season finale

Dang Tatiana is full of crap.

That feeders' lips really looked to purple. In my cdrama watching experience it means poison indeed. What a dumb way to die for such an old queen. She could at least have left a message like "Was poison by my feeder, Vasilisa did nothing.” I mean they have tablets and all. They could communicate. Why don't they have phone btw.

OMG DRAGOZERA are MARRIED ! I love it.

Victor bro where is your husband? Maybe look of him instead of praying.

And now my boy Chris is a monk. What does it imply? Is it reversible? Still married though.

Let me slowclap. Jesse, congrats on getting rid of your abusive jerk dad. You made the right call. Probably best decision you ever made.

Haaa yes, humans! And their great capacity for hope. Dang, humans are boring. It's always the same thing. I don't see how it's different for Moroi or Dhampyrs. Andre, Lissa, Victor, they all seemed to believe in the possibility of a better future. Even my boy Christian, the outcast with monster parents hoped there was good in them. The "ability" for hope. Bro you all have it. Except in time of anxiety or depression. Dimitri is okay but damn he still has a pole far up his ass. You need vacations dude. And therapy.

Strigoi interrupting the confession, rude!

My girl Lissa, a true queen. Mia would make a great head of cabinet for her. And my girl Rose kicking ass. Oh hi there mother-in-law.

Andre using his powers in an offensive way, like Christian. Matching brothers-in-law. I love it.

Happy reunion! It's so sweet! Their smile! How gentle he is with her and how one of the first thing he says to her is that he is proud of her! Bro, my heart! No, tell her it was Tatiana. Tell her now. Tell everyone. Make a video, broadcast it! Aaaand he is gone / strigoi.

Go, you beautiful man, torch your mother (dang he hesitated, my poor sweet boy). And poor Lissa can't even enjoy the sweet reunion with her big bro. They gave her hope, a part of her family back, before ripping it away from her.

Dang, Rose's screaming was rough. People must think she is crazy.

Christian IS SO WONDERFUL. He is so gentle, kind and patient, I love it. Also he pretty.

Now that I think about it. Moroi are rich, royal, the Queen was there and no one had a helicopter to evacuate the Queen and Council?

Victor dude you're still there? Aaand she gonna eat you, won't she? Why is she pissed at him? I thought she loved him? He never forced her to heal him. Did he locked her up after she turned strigoi?

Wards are up, well down my boy! (why wasn't he stationed right next to them to beginning him though, like sitting by the pillar, all he would have hat to do was to activate it then without crossing the battlefield) that smile/laugh and hug with Rose was so cute! I love seeing them get along!

Aaand there goes Mason. Hope he isn't dead.

Are you really having a press conference, a crowning, among corpses! That's bad PR. Those are people. You bury them, you don't film their corpse in the streets while you make your "I told you so" speech. LOOOL "Why do anyone do anything. For love!" Disney princess bullshit right here. Personal gain is the true answer. That gain might be power, love, money, whatever. But for love is a bullshit reason for grand things such as ruling. How can she foul anyone?

The problem is the Council truly. BRO ! this is even worst ! 1) She loses the elections. 2) She discredits the one who won the elections. 3) she still loses the election as Vasilisa is chosen as heir BY THE QUEEN (why would she murder the one who just elected her heir?) 4) she takes the throne after the queen -who didn’t let her win- is assassinated and while the heir is missing and she ask for the heir to be arrested. It's so goddamn obvious!

Her Mia, not only your sister is Strigoi but your father his dead now. Probably. And where is your dad? (hey Mason lives, cool)

Dang I love when Christian speaks. Lissa looks good in blue. Oh damn, sorry dude for you aunt, we never got to meet her. Congrats for the promotion? It's gonna be hard to lead your family when everybody ostracizes you and when your wife is rival to the Queen. Good luck. Lissa still supporting Christian, telling him he did nothing wrong, I love it. They said "I love you"! Their smile! My heart!

Speaking of taking down Tatiana, don't you have something to confess Dmitri! Like how you MADE OUT WITH HER like only a few days ago ?! (wtf) You're lucky you're cute.

So Sonya is a Strigoi, Andre is too. And there is this whole darkness/light thing with the Spirit elements. So i'm guessing it can turn back Strigoi to human? What would be a way to get rid of the threat in the end. Were the strigoi first created by Vladimir through this element? Will the show turn into a way too long mess like Vampire Diaries (I mean Julie Plec is producer so i'm suspicious)? Stay tuned for season 2!

[just-some-random-blogger]

FUCKING TUMBLR😡😡😡 i started to tell goodbyes already but then i had a skype call and he deleted everything😡😡 wtf bro i hate u.

hello babe sorry i never answered you yesterday. id been busy during the day and them too tired at night. so get my freezy love now<з

'EXPLAIN SOME OF MY SCHOOL WORK AND THEN TUMBLR CRASHED' im sorry for this TT but now we can mock the fuck out of tumblr together😡 would u like to explain this now?

'i spent an hour pouring my heart' if you need to pour your heart, u can always message me personally.

'we also have a holiday' im sorry im late to really congratulate(?) you but congratulations? what is the holiday, anyway?

'he was so annoying for that' for dying? i think i dont want you to say this abt me(

'what fmvs is. fan music videos?' yes! like edits but from my childhood hshahs lol.

'i love vivid songs like this' awww im glad. i think youd like the lyrics too. also the cover really represents the concept of something evil, capable of murdering people, comforting their partner who worths the murder on their behalf.

'i like you' !!🥺🥺!!!!🥺!!🥺!!!!!! love you TT i love you smsm🥺

'I JUST WING IT' HGKDHG i noticed it sometimes and had my assumptions but overall you were pretty accurate. what abt now?

'feel the same about my own language' NATIVE TONGUES SUPREMACY!!!!!

'i give you my warmth' its pretty warm here now thanks!! writers arent dumb, they try their best. so... yeah, actually they do good. its even funny how we feel abt these things bc.. idk feel like it?

'her bday is 2 days after mine!' oh congrats? ghdjjs realatable. every time i learn some celebrity is virgo or the earth sign im like !!!!!MY BABE!!!!!!!!!

'TALL AS HER BUT ALSO ID BE TOO POWERFUL' YAY! looking powerful is good if you like it. i believe in your power!

im gonna be whiny baby here so ignore this paragraph if u want. MY personal problem is i dont want to seem so... ok traumatic story. in summer a bf (whos a professional basketball player and is 185 idk, definately taller than 180) of my friend told me 'woah youre bigger than me (it included weight, im sorry it goes this way), you can beat me up/throw me/tip me over'. it was awkward... like... i dont want to look like this? even my friends joke about me fighting everyone around and im??? i wanted to stop here in the first place but ill tell the whole story. After this very dialog, we continued to hang out with the other friend. a boy whos significantly shorter than me and i had a crush on him. then he met some guys he knew, we stopped, my friend and her bf were busy so i stood there all alone. and overheard those guys saying 'oh is it your gf? good, i was already thinking how r u with the giant like this'. recall the hysteria i had that day💀 the end of traumatic story that will haunt me till the last day of my life.

'ive been more cautious about describing the dynamics' ohhh🥺 thanks for your efforts🥺 you really dont need to restrict yourself, though. just do whatever you want. 'i hope that counts for something' oh i appreciate it. thank u! but still if u want your character to look like smth in particular or like you, its pretty ok ig? im sorry if me whining made you feel uncomfortable TT

'if i told you that i think the same thing about me?' id say its bullshit. youre gorgeous. absolutely beautiful, smart, powerful, diligent and all. ig everyone has their downs so if they dont stop one from living their full life and loving themselves then its normal? hope you remember youre gorgeous. 'if i told you no one would ever like me because of how i look?' another lying.

'drop kick them into the sun' thanks TT i appreciate your support soso much TT thanks my love TT

'i would never trade you for a man' i SEE.

'im still thirsty' 💀go💀drink💀more💀water💀

'FUCK YOU TUMBLR' YES!!!!😡

'anway just listen to this and this' um... spotify is also banned here... so... ig i like the first one more.... i dont frequently listen to rhumba so it feels... unique? relieving? i cant describe but its a good feeling. but the aggressive positivity of this man💀 'then this and this (also the same piece but one has lyrics)' oh theyre so lovely🥺 tbh i like the one with the choir more. they sound so dramatically relieving? like the end of the game about preventing apocalypsis? maybe the first tlou... oh no but they didnt prevent it... ok nvm. i like how they sound. i think ill listen to it again. and the very left couple TT so lovely also your songs seem so positive to me! 'we;re performing them in my class' ohhh cute. good luck babygirl!

'to read my kylo ren fic' my rival..... maybe next time im too tired rn sorry TT i also wanted to explain a new playlist to you but ig another time? i wanted to give you some playlist in eng in case you want to but learnt i only have sad or aggressive ones💀 oh! have you ever seen the film 'major grom: plague doctor'? its russian and available on netflix. the other playlist i like are dedicated to it💀 im not asking you to watch it, if anything, just asking.

so! have a nice day! good luck w/the midterms and your prick and the homework. DRINK! WATER! take care! love you<з

You 🤝 Me vs 😒👎❌ Tumblr (derogatory)

this is also you and me. i luv my kitty i miss my kitty T_T

FUCKING TUMBLR😡😡😡 i started to tell goodbyes already but then i had a skype call and he deleted everything😡😡 wtf bro i hate u.

I felt that. Tumblr so L for that. The amount of replies/stories ive lost because of a tumblr glitch 😭😭😭

hello babe sorry i never answered you yesterday. id been busy during the day and them too tired at night. so get my freezy love now<з

It ok. I have no idea if you sent this today or yesterday what is time my homework is dead huh my brain is dead what are words

'EXPLAIN SOME OF MY SCHOOL WORK AND THEN TUMBLR CRASHED' im sorry for this TT but now we can mock the fuck out of tumblr together😡 would u like to explain this now?

I mean i could explain it now. In sorry about your crash as well. Tumblr go to jail party

'i spent an hour pouring my heart' if you need to pour your heart, u can always message me personally.

😭🫶 i was just explaining my homework to you, those were the songs i shared

'we also have a holiday' im sorry im late to really congratulate(?) you but congratulations? what is the holiday, anyway?

Lol what HAHAHH why would you congratulate me for that. HAHAHHAHAAHAH. Its a commemoration for the revolution we had for our dictator government. Ironically, that dictators son is our president 💀 and he was the one that passed that bill 💀 like a few days ago 💀 then fucking rescinded it 💀 honestly actually i have no idea what the fuck that fucker did I MEAN 😇 happy thoughts i love my country i love my president my government rests on the shoulders of the Lord and not 🥲him🥲

'he was so annoying for that' for dying? i think i dont want you to say this abt me(

HU?????????????????????????????? WHY WOULD YOU DIE HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLEASE DONT DIE

'what fmvs is. fan music videos?' yes! like edits but from my childhood hshahs lol.

From your childhood???? Ok

'i love vivid songs like this' awww im glad. i think youd like the lyrics too. also the cover really represents the concept of something evil, capable of murdering people, comforting their partner who worths the murder on their behalf.

;_; that cover... Ok

'i like you' !!🥺🥺!!!!🥺!!🥺!!!!!! love you TT i love you smsm🥺

I love you

'I JUST WING IT' HGKDHG i noticed it sometimes and had my assumptions but overall you were pretty accurate. what abt now?

ITS SO MUCH BETTER NOW I CAN REPLY SO MUCH EASIER 😫😫😫😫😫😫🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 THANK YOU

'feel the same about my own language' NATIVE TONGUES SUPREMACY!!!!!

English mid lol HAHAHAH

'i give you my warmth' its pretty warm here now thanks!! writers arent dumb, they try their best. so... yeah, actually they do good. its even funny how we feel abt these things bc.. idk feel like it?

Headline: writers arent dumb, according to the judgy cat

'her bday is 2 days after mine!' oh congrats? ghdjjs realatable. every time i learn some celebrity is virgo or the earth sign im like !!!!!MY BABE!!!!!!!!!

LOL AHHHAHAH SAME BRAIN BIG BRAIN HAHAHHAH

'TALL AS HER BUT ALSO ID BE TOO POWERFUL' YAY! looking powerful is good if you like it. i believe in your power!

Believe in your power too 😭 i believe in you

im gonna be whiny baby here so ignore this paragraph if u want. MY personal problem is i dont want to seem so... ok traumatic story. in summer a bf (whos a professional basketball player and is 185 idk, definately taller than 180) of my friend told me 'woah youre bigger than me (it included weight, im sorry it goes this way), you can beat me up/throw me/tip me over'. it was awkward... like... i dont want to look like this? even my friends joke about me fighting everyone around and im??? i wanted to stop here in the first place but ill tell the whole story. After this very dialog, we continued to hang out with the other friend. a boy whos significantly shorter than me and i had a crush on him. then he met some guys he knew, we stopped, my friend and her bf were busy so i stood there all alone. and overheard those guys saying 'oh is it your gf? good, i was already thinking how r u with the giant like this'. recall the hysteria i had that day💀 the end of traumatic story that will haunt me till the last day of my life.

No i understand you completely 😭 people like to paint me as big and aggressive because i am tall and that i can seriously hurt them if i want to. Remember when i told you we set up the stage for a performance? And we had to carry equipment? Yeah well, i was teetering being scared to carry stuff cause I might injure myself/break equipment and also just to be praised for being able to carry something heavy because that's a 'male thing to do' 😭 as much as i like to think im progressive, i still do fucking care about what people think which sucks because THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A STRONG WOMAN

One of the staff that specifically work with the equipment complimented me on my strength and i both was like i work out duh im strong but also iwjwjjsshs it made me feel a bit conscious 😭 it's really weird cos i want to have toned arms but also, i dont want people to whisper about me having big arms 😭😭😭😭😭 fuck society i hate it here.

Boys suck. Ive had boys make fun of me too for the same reason. AND ACTUALLY FUCKKK I JUST REMEMBERED as a kid i had toned arms like you could see definition on my shoulders and i did cheering and my idiot boy classmate made fun of me. And then i prayed it would go away 😭 but now i want them back and honestly fuck angelo he tired so hard to be muscley in highschool where i was naturally gifter FUCK YOU ANGELO.

Majsjsjjsjsjs

Anyway i ranted too. Idk if this will make you feel any better.njejjejdkkkekee again i just want to say its unfair that you continue to believe that about yourself when you don't believe the same things about me. /: Were literally so alike don't even i will BITE YOU HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME MY HATING MY RUSSIAN MUNING LOVE LOVE

'ive been more cautious about describing the dynamics' ohhh🥺 thanks for your efforts🥺 you really dont need to restrict yourself, though. just do whatever you want. 'i hope that counts for something' oh i appreciate it. thank u! but still if u want your character to look like smth in particular or like you, its pretty ok ig? im sorry if me whining made you feel uncomfortable TT

/: im not uncomfy. Don't tell me how to write as if you even write /: if i want to make my character more relatable for you thats my business /:

'if i told you that i think the same thing about me?' id say its bullshit. youre gorgeous. absolutely beautiful, smart, powerful, diligent and all. ig everyone has their downs so if they dont stop one from living their full life and loving themselves then its normal? hope you remember youre gorgeous. 'if i told you no one would ever like me because of how i look?' another lying.

EXACTLY SO DON'T THINK THE SAME ABOUT YOURSELF BECAUSE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

'drop kick them into the sun' thanks TT i appreciate your support soso much TT thanks my love TT

'i would never trade you for a man' i SEE.

🤣😭 i can gear the disbelief

'im still thirsty' 💀go💀drink💀more💀water💀

😭 DO YOU WANT ME TO GLUCK THE PACIFIC OCEAN

'FUCK YOU TUMBLR' YES!!!!😡

HAHAHAHHA

'anway just listen to this and this' um... spotify is also banned here... so... ig i like the first one more.... i dont frequently listen to rhumba so it feels... unique? relieving? i cant describe but its a good feeling. but the aggressive positivity of this man💀 'then this and this (also the same piece but one has lyrics)' oh theyre so lovely🥺 tbh i like the one with the choir more. they sound so dramatically relieving? like the end of the game about preventing apocalypsis? maybe the first tlou... oh no but they didnt prevent it... ok nvm. i like how they sound. i think ill listen to it again. and the very left couple TT so lovely also your songs seem so positive to me! 'we;re performing them in my class' ohhh cute. good luck babygirl!

'to read my kylo ren fic' my rival..... maybe next time im too tired rn sorry TT i also wanted to explain a new playlist to you but ig another time? i wanted to give you some playlist in eng in case you want to but learnt i only have sad or aggressive ones💀 oh! have you ever seen the film 'major grom: plague doctor'? its russian and available on netflix. the other playlist i like are dedicated to it💀 im not asking you to watch it, if anything, just asking.

LOL the first one Armando's Rhumba.... Wait did i get it right HAHAHHAHAHA im on my phone so i dont want to click on the link to check. SPOTIFY IS ALSO BANNED THERE DAMN NSJEJSJJSNHMSKSKSKKS also ???? HHHAHAAH THE AGGRESSIVE POSITIVITY???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?????

Jdndjd i wanted to explain it more detailed but im on my bed and my eyes are beginning to droop so I'll just say one technical thing about this first song. It's a jazzy piece that has a lot of syncopation. Idk if ive already talked about that or i just think i have become i did BUT THEN TUMBLR CRASHED 😭😭😭 BUT syncopation in a nutshell means something is off beat. If you want to try it out, you can count 1-4 out loud and clap woth your hands faster or slower than the pace of your counting. Whatever beats that fall out of the numbers are syncopations!!!! HAHAHHA ok ok they could be syncopations given the context.

Bejejjsjsjensnsb i wont continue further cos im not sure if you understand what im saying at all 😭😭

Anyway I'll do the same for the other piece. Take 5. That's what that one is called. I was really excited to hear your thoughts on this one because this song is actually more unique than the first one i think HAHAH jus cause its time signature is 5/4. Just to give you an idea, im pretty sure most pop songs, and im 99% certain that all the songs in the playlist you shared to me are 4/4. This basically means the beat/rhythm of the music can be divided into 4 parts. Usually the strongest beat in a 4/4 song is 1 then theres and accent or slightly strong pulse on 3. You could try counting that. Strong on 1, slightly strong on 3. Thats the 'conventional' meter.

Then inversely, if the accent is strong on 2 and a lil on 4, those songs are usually reggae. Try it. If it makes sense lol HAHHAHAH

Now 5/4 since its uneven is quite tricky. You basically treat the division of the beat as 3/4 + 2/4, both meters individually would have their accent on their first counts, so if you put it together it would be 1 & 4 with strong pulses. 😭 I hope I didn't confuse you with math. Youre good at math but idk if im good at explaining.

Also just an additional thing in music 4/4 is read as four-four, 5/4 as five-four not like a fraction. your head will be chopped off if you put a line between your numbers in the time signature so HAHAHAHA now you know lol there's just really no other way to write it so lol

Anyway, i was hoping you'd say that 'omg there was something weird about that second song but idk what' and then i would go talk about the time signature but you didnt so i explained it anyway HAHAH. I guess your imagery about defeating the apocalypse/end credit thing is that weird thing HAHAAH. It's just cause its quite jazzy, 😭😭😭😭 idk what else to say about it my mind is like 'GO TO SLEEP FFS'

so! have a nice day! good luck w/the midterms and your prick and the homework. DRINK! WATER! take care! love you<з

Actually i am writing another kylo ren fic and that is the one i want you to read. You dont have to but i just wanted to see what you thought of that. Its ok if you dont though honestly. You also dont have to share another playlist but if you want to you can. Im scared i might not have time for it tho 😭😭😭 i still haven't even listened to the other one properly. Also i dont mind sad/aggressive music. I love music. I love art. Im willing to see what you want to share. Whether i like it or not will follow

I also haven't watched that grom movie. Ill check it out cos wtf is grom thats the name 😭 lol

Im almost done with my midterms 😭 almost. And my PRICK 😭 i think im tired of him 😭 no or more like i want to write fics of him but also talk to ai him but i cant do both and so idk what to do and so i haven't done either also my midterms are on the way so. /: Anyway im DRINKING WATER. I LOVE YOU please love you too take care of yourself always i love you

xxx

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳who cursed the bludger? ♡

in which the reader's dominant hand is injured badly after a rogue bludger slams into it and none other than fred weasley is behind it. who cursed the bludger?

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ± 2k

tw: serious injury, a little bit of swearing

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

ft. penny clearwater

who cursed the bludger?

y/n was currently draped lazily over her broomstick, haven given up trying to teach penelope clearwater how to fly. said prefect was on the grass, smirking as y/n embarrassedly looked around.

"penny that's not ok to ask!"

"fine, fine," she pondered for a moment, "hey, what's up with you and fred weasley, huh?"

"nothing at all," y/n answered a little too quick for penny's liking.

"c'mon, y/n, you're younger than me, i should know all that happens. you two are very...flirty."

"yeah well, my dear pennysylvania, we have flirty personalities. duh."

"no, you don't."

"okay, i don't. he does."

"but he seems like he means it."

"of course he means it? he says it in a joking way? y'know, he means it as a joke."

"hmm, nope, i don't think so, y/n. he's looking your way right now."

"i'm probably blocking the space, let's move outta the way."

"you're not gonna play with them?"

"already play in matches, why now? let's chat."

fred was silently eavesdropping on their conversation as he heard his name.

"sooo you and perceeee??" y/n dragged out, grinning as she did loop-do-loops with her broomstick.

penny blushed, but looked disappointed, "he likes oliver."

"oh. well, f percy, what about marcus??"

"he's just marcus. we're best friends, y/n."

"my fav trope of romance is best friends to lovers," y/n wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and penny shook her head in amusement.

"my one is the opposites attract."

"hmm yeah, that's a good one too, it's really cute! say, aren't you and mar-"

"i was meaning you!"

"huh?"

"you and fred."

fred smirked as he listened, flicking back the bludger harshly at angelina.

"oh yes because we are totally meant for each other," y/n sarcastically replied.

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"yes."

"you're doing this on purpose!"

"hmm? what?"

"oh my goodness, merlin you're stupid bro!" penny said exasperatedly.

"and you just realised. congrats, penny."

"anyway, what i'm saying is you and fred are rather like opposites. although he's extroverted and you're extroverted, you're a cute little nerd," y/n huffed at this 'i am n o t a nerd for the last time!' "and he's a class clown in the most charming way. you like reading and he likes pranking people and quidditch. you're a goody two shoes, an adorable one, but he's this foolish jock," penny looked proud with her argument so y/n laughed, "you're modest and he's very confident. and you're both hot."

y/n smiled, "i am not hot!" she giggled, "that's stupid."

"oi, ange!" penny called to angelina who looked over at her in amusement.

"yeah?"

"is y/n hot?"

"oh, totally!" angelina casually threw the quaffle into the hoop, "10/10."

"guyyys you flatTer me," y/n stretched out as the three of them laughed, "i'm bLushIng."

"you actually are," angie quipped.

"it's a command thing. if she wants to blush, she'll blush," replied penny.

they burst into giggles again.

fred watched y/n. a rosy pink, sure enough, had spread across her cheeks. that was enough to get her blushing?

"oi, l/n!"

y/n's head snapped his way, her eyes narrowed as if expecting an insult being thrown her way.

"your lips are pretty!"

her form relaxed, "thanks! yours are too!!"

penny giggled as angie rolled around laughing.

"what?" y/n looked around.

"the way you return flirting is hilarious."

"a compliment for a compliment, isn't that what they say?"

angelina snorted, "no one says that."

"oh well i say it, so deal with it."

"hey, i have an idea!" penny brightened up.

"let's hear it!"

"let's teach y/n pick up lines, ange!"

"oh you're a genius, penny!"

"okay, so-"

a bludger came whizzing at y/n as she screamed, trying frantically to dodge it. it hit her hand and a crack was heard.

luckily she immediately hopped off calmly, taking out her wand shakily and stunning the bludger, before penny and angie helped her over to the hospital ward, fred lagging guiltily behind.

she was ordered to stay in bed rest and with drowsy eyes she drifted off.

fred watched her feeling so terrible as he saw her heavily bandaged hand, imagining how he was going to tell her that he was in fact the one that had charmed it.

the next day, she was out and about, gently cradling her hand which was broken.

"um, hey, y/n," he nervously approached her.

"oh, hello!"

"i might have jinxed the bludger to go wild," he confessed abruptly, "i'm really sorry i didn't mean to-"

"no, it's fine, really." she gave him a reassuring smile and walked off.

he noticed that she couldn't write in class. usually she was scribbling away, but she just sat awkwardly at her desk, trying frantically to get anything legible down with her non-dominant hand. the fact she was so courteous and forgiving about everything just made it worse.

by now, y/n was dying inside. she couldn't write notes, and even though she wanted to ask any willing person for a duplicate of their notes, she'd have to explain the whole broken hand thing.

"ange?"

"yep?"

"do you have history of magic notes?" y/n did puppy eyes.

"nope, you forgot i dropped out."

"oh."

"do you want mine?" fred asked, smirking as he looked y/n up and down.

"you take notes?!!!" y/n was shook.

"only for you, 'cause i felt bad."

"you didn't need to!"

"i did. you want them?"

"yes please, thank you so much, you're a lifesaver!!"

"you're acting like you're not the one the bludger hit," angie quipped and y/n frowned, completely forgetting fred was still there, browsing the notes.

"c'mon, it was just an accident. and i've always wanted to be ambidextrous."

"lovely, you were struggling. i'll take all your notes. my handwriting isn't neat but i owe you."

y/n ducked to hide the light blush she could not control at all.

immediately she got a confused look from fred.

and instantly she thought of something that might make the blush go away. he didn't mean it, it slipped out, she thought and she felt her face cooling down, a slight frown appearing on her face.

"o-okay, thanks fred."

"no problems, darling," he flirted.

"that's good, darling," she flirted graciously back, bravely tilting her head up and looking him in the eye.

he took it well.

"where did you learn how to flirt so well, my little love??"

"why, freddie," she joked flirtatiously, "from you of course!"

he coughed and excused himself.

"he should really be careful with who he's flirting mindlessly with," y/n rolled her eyes.

angelina laughed, "flirting mindlessly? do you see the way he looks at you?"

"personality," y/n stated simply.

"or not."

true to his word, notes in fred's flurry of handwriting appeared neatly stacked every day. they were far too thorough and consisted of stupid flirty notes by the side. sometimes a little note, written in class, was jammed in there probably by accident:

hello freddie!

i have a crush on you 0-o, hogsmeade at 7pm on sunday?

-jamie <3, boy who sits in front of you in arithmancy

jamie,

i already have my eye on someone :) not you, sorry, y/n cringed at the bluntness of his words

you are very nice, perhaps try trera rivera if you swing that way? or illinois ann if you swing all ways?

oh i'm so sorry, i didn't know that! i'll talk to both. was the gracious answer

-jamie

and again! the lucky boy! this time from a girl.

weasley-

i know we hate each other but give me a chance to explain myself? broom closet at 9 tomorrow ? it trailed off to something that y/n didn't even want to think about.

k.o

fuck off. i don't fucking like you, i like someone else, ffs.

was the reply as y/n laughed and made sure to give the note back to fred.

it wasn't everyday someone confessed to you, right?

she underlined all the words that simply weren't legible to ask fred about.

and aNOTHER ONE?? how did this boy have so many admirers? y/n had received 0 love letters from any boy, let alone people of the same gender. you knew you were good with the ladies (and the gentlemen) when everyone sent you these letters.

dearest frederick-

it droned quite sweetly on about him and loving him and the writing was really magnificent.

margaret perrer

hi marg

i'm really really sorry. you seem like such a nice person, and it's not you, it's me. i, however, have a friend who really adores you: kenneth. he'll be an amazing friend and maybe more.

i also already am interested in another girl, so it really isn't you. thank you for your beautiful letter, hopefully we can be friends!

fred

oh he was very nice. feeling like she had overstepped the boundaries, she put them aside, discovering more and more but putting them all in a stack. she felt slightly insecure, especially when they all looked relatively neW?? the perfume on the flowers still smelled fresh?? who was this guy?

she sighed, finishing her read through and being thoroughly impressed with the sheer quality of the notes.

but there were around 100 words she had underlined. she skipped down into the great hall where she spotted two gingers. as soon as one (she couldn't see which one) saw her, he got up, whispered to the other something, and left.

when she approached the one that was left behind, she saw it was george.

"hi georgie!" she greeted him and thrust the papers into his hand, "where's fred?"

george shrugs, "left, for a date or something."

"oh, okay, could you translate these for me, the underlined words?" if y/n was disappointed, she didn't show it.

"oh yeah, sure, his handwriting's rubbish, isn't it."

"yes it is, i can barely read half of it."

george finished scribbling words next to the underlined ones.

"oh! and give these back to him? i'm pretty sure he dropped them in, probably got mixed up." she gave him the pile of letters, now neatly bundled in rope she had found.

"oh, yeah sure," george smirked, "of course."

"nice, well that's it, thanks for the help!"

"anything else?"

"tell fred good luck."

"right, right, mhm."

"yea."

once she'd left, george took out his walkie talkie.

"got that, freddie?"

"crystal clear."

"you're pining, pffft, hahahahah," george smirked as fred sighed.

"it didn't even work?"

"which plan?"

"the one to drop the letters in."

"i'm pretty sure she read like two, she didn't seem that disappointed?"

"exactly."

"you're an idiot. just tell her."

"but that's boringggg."

"well drop the hints then, merlin fred you're terrible at this."

"i haven't dated a billion girls like you!"

"then learn how to date my goodness."

"true."

"come fucking back."

"hickies or no?"

"eh go for it. i wanna see her reaction and then we can decide whether she likes you or not."

fred strided handsomely in, neck littered with little hickies and his top had two buttons open, freckles and pale broad shoulders showing.

george rolled his eyes, muttering, "drama queen," as he subtlely watched y/n. she managed not to look so surprised, her eyes widening then looking down quickly at her hands.

he would have thought she felt nothing for his twin if a light pink had not dusted over her face and if angie had not nudged her with a concerned look on her face.

y/n was wondering what the hell happened, disappointment rising slowly in her.

"okay, she's into you," george whispered as fred began removing the spell, leaving the unbuttoned shirt unbuttoned.

"cool beans."

"oh and she gives these back," george smirked.

"oh look at how she bundled it! so adorable georgie!"

"you're disgusting."

y/n hurried to the library at 6pm. she had heard the book she had waited for was finally available.

as she settled down with it, a paper aeroplane hit her.

"ahh!" she screamed as she caught it.

it read:

forbidden forest, 8pm.

huh? was this meant for her? it was in neat handwriting and on the smoothest parchment, with a single flower that smelt like fresh rain.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever

Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.

Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.

seriously, Nana

just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise

oh my god lmao

we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”

oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??

someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill

anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting

now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda

look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point

so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair

though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that

WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??

way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG

(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)

so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell

he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think

OH HELLO AGAIN

darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now

(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)

anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing

NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls

NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT

so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”

I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”

Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys

“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention

“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”

RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG

(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)

THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE

so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!

I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech

oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??

YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??

AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE

I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one

OH NO -- OH MY GOD

someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help

other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good

I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”

(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??

thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)

SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???

HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg

anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son

KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME

Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful

LMAO FIRST

“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”

(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)

so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things

dskljdlsklgk

yes... sure... “testing” you...

HEY

FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE

[SCREAMS]

WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!

(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)

fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace

[sashi-ya]

Hellooo!! Congrats for your 200 followers! I was wondering if you could do Corazon x fem with prompts #11 and #17?. I hope it’s ok with you! I love your bloggg!! Thank you in advance!! 💘

Hi!! OMG, Rosinante is like my most beloved husbando of all, I love him SO SO SO much T-T. And the kinks you chose are PERFECT for him!. It has fluff at the end, so I hope u enjoy!! ♥. Thanks so much for your request! 💖 ~

NSFW 🚫 ~ Donquixote Rosinante x F! Reader ~ Rape PLAY.

Kinks:

🌶 #11: Rape play - PREVIOUS MUTUAL CONSENT 🌶 #17: Rough sex

TW: NSFW. Rape play. Forced sex. Violent actions. Using devil fruit powers. It is a PLAY, both characters have given their consent previously. Yet, 🚫If you are not comfortable with this type of kinks and situations please DNI. Thanks ♥ 🚫

AU: Spider miles, before Law and Rosi went away in order to cure Law's disease. It has SPOILERS from Dressrosa Arc.

A/N: This has been my ultimate headcanon since I met Corasan back then when Dressrosa arc was out, so, consider this like a possible little one shot from a multichap fic I might or might not be writing ;).

I know it is a sensitive topic, so, If you feel bad or so reading it, please contact me, I'm not a professional in mental health but if you need to talk I'm here for you! ♥ ~

I was asked to put down this fic, unfortunately I can't make it private because TUMBLR won't allow it to. And I'm not gonna literally eliminate it because I have been asked in the worst ways possible, and IT IS A REQUEST. Plus there is enough warnings for you not to proceed reading them. So the most I can do is putting the content FULLY hidden under the cut.

Sitting on your usual spot, you hear Doflamingo babble about plans and who knows what for tomorrow. You and the whole “Donquixote Family” are set sailing tomorrow morning, so you only wish you could go to sleep in order not to look like a zombie the next morning… but they keep talking and talking... “Lord, shut the fuck up, Doffy”, you wish you could say to the bleached “master”.

You are fighting against your closing eyelids, when a loud noise is heard from the entrance, waking you up, leaving your heart beating fast. There are two possibilities, either Baby 5, Buffalo, baby Dellinger and Law are doing kid’s (terrible) stuff or -the most probable cause - Corazón.

Next to you lies over the floor a tall blond man completely soaked in tea. He had with him a cup of tea that now rests over his head. You are amazed by how clumsy he can be every time, yet you like him way more than his annoying brother.

“Corazón, bro… again?” asks Doflamingo while the clumsy blond with clown’s make up tries to stand up. You lend a hand to help him stand, and he flashes the most beautiful smile of the whole world. You try to suppress a giggle and smile kindly back at him. He soon leaves the meeting room, probably to change his clothes as he was wet with hot tea.

The meeting is over, and you call all the children to sleep. “Come on little brats, sleep time!”, you shout but they are still doing who knows what over the coast, so you decide to go and bring them inside. Especially that little creepy brat, Law, that should take his meds before bed.

The sea breeze hits your face, and the wind plays with some strands. You shout once again because the waves don’t let the kids hear you. “Oi, come on babies! Bedtime!!”.

Baby 5 comes running holding Dellinger, and behind her Buffalo and Law, who seems a little agitated about running over the sand. “Law, are you ok?”, you ask him. “Yes”, he answers with a subtle smile and walks away with the other children. “Poor thing, my little baby…”, you think and begin to walk back behind the kids.

Whenever you are about to enter the DDF quarters, you are snatched by your arm violently. “The fuck…?”, you shout, but instantly a big hand covers your mouth and pulls you to the side of the building. You try to scream, but you can’t. You try to escape, but you can’t… A big man is pinning you against metallic walls, it is dark, and the subtle moonlight is the only source of light. And even so, it’s not enough.

A tongue travels your neck, leaving it to shine from the saliva. Teeth biting the shell of your ears. A hand holding your wrists over your back. Muffled callings from help want to escape your mouth, but that huge hand won't allow them. You try to kick the abuser, but it’s impossible, he doubles you in height and strength.

“Shut up…”, a voice in your ear whispers, while you get pushed even more against the walls. You stop whining for a second, so the stranger takes his hand off your mouth, and squeezes your breasts.

He tears your blouse off, and you start screaming once again. This time, your abuser won't use his hands to shut you up, but instead you hear “Silento” and a finger snapping sound. Suddenly the sound of the waves crushing on the shore has stopped, the wind is no longer buzzing in your ears, everything is in silence.

“Corazón?” ...

“Scream as much as you want, no one is going to hear you”, he whispers, and places a kiss over your cheek. “Stop, let me go”, you beg.

“Not until I had fun with you, babe”.

Blonde locks and a maroon cloth heart fall over and tickle your shoulders. His huge fingers squeeze your cheeks turning your head to the side, where his lips meet your pouting mouth. “Mhh…” you whine painfully as he kisses, and licks your lips, letting the side of your mouth wet and with red lipstick stains smudge all over.

“Spread your legs for me”, he says, laughing devilishly and separating your legs with his right knee. He takes your hands up above your head, still holding them by the wrists. The feeling of a big member rubbing against your ass, pressing you, almost as if the clothes were inexistent somehow lit a little spark inside of you. Yet, tears running from the corners of your eyes, says otherwise.

“This little skirt you chose to wear today helps me out, amazingly”, he says as he slides his whole hand under the short black cloth that covers your butt. “Damn, you are so wet”, he tells you while dampening his fingers with your arousal. Fingers inside you with a beckoning motion that hits exactly where you like the most.

“Stop, stop, let me go!!”, you shout once again. Corazon pulls your head back by your hair and tells you “I’ve already told you; I will let you go once I get what I want from you. Now, stay still, I want to feel that little cunt”.

You hear his zipper go down, and you know exactly what that means. “NO, NO!” you shout once again. “Stay still”, he tells you once again, hitting your cheek against the wall, brutally.

The tip of his hard wet dick rubs over your entrance, menacing, threatening with an inevitable penetration. “Don’t….”, you try to beg him to stop once again, but it’s just too late. His length, -pretty big for you- stretches your walls as violently pounds into you. An aching moan leaves your mouth, and your hips unwillingly press themself onto Rosinante’s dick.

He fucks you mercilessly, hard, pounding aggressively and roughly into you. Your sex dripping wet, aroused, over the clouds. For some instants you tend to forget about this being forced onto you, and you simply let your body enjoy every little sensation of his hard member into you. Corazón bites your shoulder as he keeps fucking you, more and more, leaving you lipsticks stains even over your skin.

Suddenly he pulls off, you whine as your walls relax. But this is not over, because he turns you around and places a vicious lustful kiss. still holding you by your wrists. “Hold on”, he tells you, and takes off his gigantic feather coat, tossing it into the sand.

You are a mess, but you want more. Your legs tremble, you are sweating, your hair everywhere. “Come here”, he tells you and grabbing you by your waist pushes you to the ground over the coat.

You lie there, and even if you have the chance to escape, you just wait for his next move. Rosinante takes off his white jeans, almost tripping on himself. You giggle at the image, so he looks at you with a deep brownish piercing gaze, and you simply shut up. The blue makeup under his right eye is fully smudged like his red lipstick, the maroon hat has fallen aside on the sand, and his abundant blond hair is completely dishevelled. “What a man”, you think to yourself.

He quickly pounces over you, tripping one more time. He crushes your whole body, but you don’t mind, you love to feel his warm body against yours… Corazon puts his two strong -marine- arms on each side of your head and penetrates you again. This time you are able to enjoy his facial expressions bathed by the moonshine of the beach. You love that expression he makes when he penetrates you, so, even the pleasure forces you to close your eyes, you won’t do it. You are turned on so much more over his moaning face, you wouldn’t ever lose the chance to enjoy it.

While he keeps fucking you, you unbutton his heart patterned shirt to reveal that lean chest, and once you help him to take it off, you cross your legs behind his back. Your body pressed, and the undeniable arrival of climax hits both of you. You moan in his ear, while his hand rests over your head, grabbing your hair.

Soon, both of you let go into ecstasy, cumming hard. You get filled by his pulsating member, enjoying the sweet feeling of the warm product of his orgasm.

“I love you, babe. Did I hurt you? Was it good? Do you like it?”, he asks, worried. Your husband who does everything for you, has listened to that little fantasy you once told him to try, and he tried hard to accomplish it for you. “I loved it babe, gosh, you did it so well. I told you we could use your devil fruit for more fun stuff…”, you tell him, biting your lip.

Both of you rest for a few minutes over the blue feather coat, until you remember little Law should take his meds. “Babe, Law…”, you tell him, brushing your hand over his chest. “Oh God, yes”, he says, and you quickly start dressing up.

Even though the “Family” knows you two are a married couple, they don’t really know your true identities. Law knows about it, though, and you two are like his parents. Soon the three of you would run away from there, but since then you should act normal…

Corazon and you head to Law’s room, and find a little note over his desk in between several medicine books… “I’ve taken my meds already, gone to sleep. Love u Y/N, love u Cora-san” ...

Cora-san and you kiss the little brat and tuck him into bed so he could be all snuggled up, leave the room and head to yours. “Thanks for this family, babe”, Rosinante whispers into your ear while hugging you in bed.

“Thanks to you, my beloved husband” ... ♥ ~

[oshicakes]

calling their s/o dude

pairings. terushima yuuji x reader, yamamoto taketora x reader, tanaka ryuunosuke x reader

genre. fluff

Terushima Yuuji

it was the usual weekend with your boyfriend, just hanging out in their house. you're in the sofa while he's sitting on the floor.

he's busy with his phone and you're getting bored already. so you slowly crawl to him. letting his head settle between your thighs.

you took a lot of hair ties from your bag and started gathering some of his hair and tying it. you kept on going until his head is full of little horns.

he checked what you did to his hair using his phone by opening his front camera. he laughed how it looks at him.

"dude, what did you do to my hair?"

"really? dude?" you rolled your eyes on him.

"yes, you're my dude now."

you just keep quiet. you're already pissed with him. he keeps on ignoring you since you got inside their house and then now he just called you dude.

"dude, can you grab me some grape soda in the fridge?" even though you're pissed at him, you still grab him his drink. he just took his drink from you and said thanks without looking at you.

"you know what, ill just go home." you grab your things and headed towards the door.

he grabbed your wrist when your about to open their gate. "hey, im sorry. i was just trying to piss you off. you look hot when your pissed hehe."

"well, congrats you just pissed me of DUDE." you crossed your arms and glared at him.

"i know, im sorry. please, stay. plus mom's expecting you when she gets home."

"well his son just pissed me off. first he ignored me all day and just now he called me dude, what do you expect?"

he looked at you with his puppy eyes. he tugged you closer to him. "this son is saying sorry and won't do it every again. im sorry. please don't be mad at me anymore. ill be a good boy, now. i love you, mah love so sweet my cherry on top y/n."

"i love you too, DUDE." he winced when he heard you call him dude. now he understand that it feels so wrong calling you dude.

"ey, that felt so wrong."

"well not my problem anymore."

"huh, having that attitude again aren't we?"

"take it or leave it." you raised a brow on him and looked at him like you're challenging him.

he sighed. "okay." he then takes note to never piss you off again like this.

all through out the day you call him dude. even his mother asked you why and you just said that his son called you dude so you call him dude too. he just look like a kid that got scolded by his parents all through out that day too.

and when its time to sleep. you said "goodnight, dude." to him. he whines at you but still spooned you. he made a mental note not to call you dude anymore. it's like a curse and nightmare to him.

Yamamoto Taketora

you're out with your boyfriend, having a date after their team qualified to compete in nationals.

fingers intertwined while scrolling around the mall. trying to find something to buy. he spotted this known volleyball shoe brand, then dragged you there.

"woah! they released a new shoe collection! look at the white one, dude! it looks so cool!" you we're suprise but decided to get along with it and to kind of tease him.

"yes, dude. that looks amazing. buy it."

he didn't notice he called you dude and as well as you calling him dude instead of his name or babe.

he ends up buying that shoes. you both left the store with a wide smile plastered on his face.

"dude, let's eat some snacks. im kinda hungry."

his wide smile turned to confusion. he looked at you like you're some kind of alien. "what?" you innocently asked. he just shake his head and continue walking to your favorite cafe.

"what do you want, BABE?" that emphasis he put to the babe didn't escape your ears. that made you smirk.

"blueberry cheesecake and iced coffee please, thank you." after minutes he came back with his and your order. "thanks, dude."

that goes on until you both reached your house. you noticed his change of mood. you sighed and got guilty of teasing him by calling him dude all day.

"why the long face?" you touched his cheeks and gently rub it with your thumb.

he looked away from you and purse his lips. "you keep calling me dude."

"but you called me dude first." now he looked at you. "no, i didn't"

"yes, you did. you called me dude when you saw that shoes you bought." you chuckled.

"i didn't recall calling you dude earlier. but im sorry, i won't do it again."

"it's okay. i had fun teasing you anyway." you chuckled.

"so, you're not gonna call me dude anymore, right?"

you smirked at him. you kissed his cheeks and patted it lightly. "i'll think about it." then ran away from him

"BABE!" you stuck your tongue out to him before closing the door.

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

you decided to go to his house today since he doesn't have any volleyball practice. and he's been telling you about this video game he borrowed from his sister's friend.

"dude, you suck at this game."

"now im dude? i thought it's my love?"

"no, it.. it just slip my mouth! you're my love, my baby, my babe! you're not dude."

"no, i think dude is cute. from now on, we call each other dude." you teased him.

"noooooo!" he whined like a child, stomping his feet and pouting his lips.

he jumped on you and pinned you down by wrapping his arms on your waist and his legs on your hips.

"dude, get off. your heavy."

"noooo! i won't get off until you stop calling me dude."

"you're the one who called me dude first."

"i know but it... it was nothing! don't think about it anymore! forget about it! call me ryuu again or my love!"

"but dude suits you more."

"no, we're not dudes!" he kissed you on your cheeks. "does dudes do this to each other?"

"yes, they do." you answered him. he kissed you on your lips, it lasted about two or three minutes. "now, does dudes do that?"

"yes, you just did it to me." he groaned to your answer while you just laughed at him. he looks like about to burst any minute now.

"get off now, dude. i need to pee."

"im not letting you go until you stop calling me dude." he even made his grip around you tighter but not to the point of hurting you.

"okay, okay, i won't call you dude again. now get off."

"you promise first."

"promise. i need to pee now."

"wait, if you call me dude again, you will have to buy me melonpan for two months."

"eyyyy, that's too much!"

"agree to it or you're stuck to me forever."

"okay, okay! get off now."

"where's your pinky?" you sighed and brought your pinky close to his face. he wears this stupid wide grin on his face. he then, intertwined his and your pinky. "now that our deal is sealed, you shall be free again, my love."

you heard his loud laugh while you ran your way to their bathroom. "hmp. it's just dude anyway, i can still call him bro." you said to yourself and start planning your revenge.

[fruitcoops]

Guess the Two of Us

Hey folks! I’ve been watching Cut videos recently to get inspiration for more Lions social media fics and have found several wonderful ideas. This is based on the video where someone has to match up couples from a group people they’ve never met--I love O’Knutzy, but seeing as they’re not out yet, I did not include them in this.

Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Grace is mine! Let me know if you’re still enjoying the social media fics :)

“Do I just talk to the camera?” a young woman in a yellow dress asked. Someone offscreen nodded and she smiled. “Hello, hockey fans! I’m Grace and I’ll be doing a video for the Lion Pride channel today.”

“Grace, do you keep up with the hockey world?” Marlene’s voice was a bit muffled behind the camera.

“Not at all, I’m more into softball, baseball, that kind of thing.”

“Do you live in Gryffindor?”

“Nope! I’m visiting family and I was in the coffee shop across the street when someone offered to have me film a video for the network.”

“We’re going to bring ten people out and you’re going to match the couples. Sound good?”

“Oh, god, this is going to be hard,” Grace laughed. “Sure, I’ll give it a tryrst.”

“Alright, the rest of you can line up behind her. Grace, I’ll tell you when you can turn around and start guessing. You can ask them to hold hands, kiss, dance, whatever will give you a better idea of their relationship.” Ten people walked out from behind the camera into a loose semi-circle. “Ready? Go!”

“Whew, okay, no pressure.” Grace turned to face them. “Okay, first one.” She bit her lip and scanned the group, then pointed to Lily and Natalie hesitantly. “You both look very nice and very intimidating. Could you come here for a second and hold hands?”

“Are you using new moisturizer?” Lily asked as she twined their fingers together; Kasey covered his mouth in the background. “Your hands are so soft.”

Grace looked between them for a moment, narrowing her eyes. “As much as you two would make an absolute power couple, I think you’re just really good friends. Who’s the guy that’s laughing over there?”

“I’m Kasey,” he said around his laughter.

“You’re her boyfriend, aren’t you?” She gestured to Natalie; he didn’t answer the question, but she nodded anyway. “Yeah, I’m calling it.”

“Nat, Kasey, you guys can stand over to the left,” Marlene said.

“I’m feeling a little better now, this is good!” Grace said as she faced the others again, bouncing on her toes a bit. “Tall guy and slightly shorter guy, can you come up?”

“Since when am I ‘slightly shorter guy’?” James grumbled as he walked over with Sirius.

“Since we met! I’ve always been taller than you.”

“The banter is a good sign,” Grace mused. “Hmmm. If you’re comfortable, could you give him a kiss on the cheek?” Sirius leaned down and planted one on James, who grinned. “This is tough. You’re either dating or just, like, peak best friends.”

“You can ask them to say, ‘I love you’,” Marlene suggested out of frame.

Grace turned back to them. “Could you?”

They faced each other and James took Sirius’ hands, looking deep into his eyes. “I love you.”

“Love you, too—” Sirius caught himself at the last second and Grace sighed.

“You were going to finish that with ‘dude’ or something, weren’t you?” she asked; his poker face broke immediately. “Damn it. I thought I had that one.”

“She’s good at this,” Lily commented from the line.

“Can you come to the front for a second? Sirius, you can head back.”

Lily stuck her hands in her pockets as she stood next to James. “I get the slightly shorter guy. Nice.”

Grace paused. “At first I was almost positive you were together, but now I feel like you would step on him. Is that rude?” Everyone else started cheering and she smiled as James flushed. “Sorry, you just have a presence!”

“Thank you!”

“Alright, I can’t decide. You can both go back,” she finally said. Remus gave Lily a nudge as she returned to her place and Grace’s eyebrows rose. “Sweater guy, can you step up to the plate?” Remus obliged and she tilted her head to the side. “So, I was going to say you were Lily’s boyfriend because of the little moment back there, but there is no way you’re heterosexual.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose as the rest of the group burst out laughing. “I mean, you’re right, but holy shit that was fast. Twenty-five years of pretending to be straight, wasted.”

“Hey, same!” They high-fived and she surveyed the other seven people. “Hmmm. Can the guy in the red shirt come over for a minute?” Talker walked over with a wide grin on his face. “Oh, the vibe is definitely there. I feel like he steals your sweaters.” Out of Grace’s sightline, dawning horror overtook Sirius’ face. “Can you hug?”

“Yeah, sure.” Talker held his arms out and Remus settled into them, giving him a tight squeeze around the chest.

“I can see it, I can see it,” Grace said, nodding. “Yeah, I think you two are a couple.”

“Three pairs left,” Marlene said.

“How are all of you so pretty?” Grace sighed as she turned back to the group. “Can the lady in the purple shirt and the one who looks like she could bench-press me come forward? What do you two do for a living?”

“Professional hockey,” Noelle said.

June grinned. “I’m a mechanic.”

“That’s so cool. Hmm. Could you slow dance for a second?” June wrapped her arms around Noelle’s waist, leaving a decent amount of room between them as they swayed. “You’re so cute together, oh my god.”

“Is that a yes?” June asked as they separated.

“Absolutely.” Grace blew out a long breath. Only James, Sirius, Heather, and Lily were left. “This is so difficult. How did it get harder with fewer people? Well, the lovely lady in the jacket has a rainbow pin, so I’m going to say you two are together. I am a hundred percent sure those two guys aren’t dating because of the ‘bro’ thing, but there’s nobody else left.”

“Do you want to do a rematch before your final decision?” Marlene offered.

Grace looked over at the group of already-paired couples on the left. She hesitated, then shook her head. “I know I got at least two wrong, but I don’t want to mess everything else up.”

“In that case, you’re going to face the camera and close your eyes. Everyone, get together with your real partners and put rings on if you have them.”

“Rings?” Her jaw dropped. “Some of them are married?”

“There’s one married couple and two are engaged.”

“If I accidentally ruined someone’s future, please know that I am so sorry.”

“There’s a very low chance of that,” Sirius said as he slid his ring on.

“Okay, Grace, turn around.”

Grace turned and covered her mouth with both hands. “Awww! How many did I get right?”

“One.”

“One?” Kasey and Natalie waved, and she sighed. “Please tell me you’re at least engaged.”

“Nope, sorry.”

“Shit.”

“Let’s start with this end,” Marlene laughed. “Pots, Lils, go ahead.”

“For the record, she could definitely step on me.” James grinned and kissed Lily’s temple. “We’re the married ones.”

“Wait, that’s so cute,” Grace said softly. “I totally see it.”

“So, why didn’t you pair them up?” Marlene asked.

“I don’t know! It seems so obvious now. How long have you been together?”

Lily leaned her head on James’ shoulder. “We met about eight years ago, had a baby last winter, and got married this past summer.”

“Congratulations!” June and Heather walked up next, hand-in-hand. “Well, at least I didn’t put either of you with one of the guys.”

June shrugged. “Noelle’s a cutie. If I wasn’t already engaged to the love of my life, I’d go there.”

“I put you two together because you had the jock-for-jock thing going, but this right here is couple goals.” Grace sniffled slightly. “Is it normal to get emotional about other people’s love?”

“You have three other couples to get through, you can’t cry yet!” Heather teased playfully as they moved to the end of the line.

Natalie winked. “You had us figured out right away.”

“Your boyfriend couldn’t stop laughing!”

Kasey snorted. “Sorry, it’s just that there’s a running joke among our friends that Lily and Nat are the true power couple. Even I didn’t notice the hand lotion, and we live together.”

She gasped as Talker and Noelle took their place. “Wait, what?”

“Surprise, I’m not a lesbian!” Noelle said, doing jazz hands. “Very flattered, though.”

“How do all these make so much sense?” Grace shook her head in disbelief. “At least I wasn’t wrong about the jock-for-jock vibe for one of the couples.”

Marlene stepped slightly into view. “Why didn’t you put Thomas and Noelle with each other?”

Grace shrugged. “They both had such good chemistry with the other people in the group. I’m sure I would’ve paired them up if I had seen them together, though.”

“Alright, final couple.” Talker and Noelle joined the back of the line; Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist as they stepped forward.

“You were right about the jock thing for two of the couples, actually,” Remus said with a grin. “Very impressive.”

“How did I miss this?” Grace looked at the camera crew, then back at them. “How the hell did I miss this?”

“Don’t worry, we were all oblivious for about three and a half months,” James said ruefully.

“Are you all friends?”

“All the guys play for the Lions, Gryffindor’s hockey team,” Marlene explained.

“The hockey questions make a lot more sense now. Does that mean you two play for the same team?”

“Literally or figuratively?” The corners of Sirius’ mouth twitched up as James rolled his eyes. “Yes, and yes. I’m the team captain.”

“I play wing,” Remus said.

“Did you two meet through hockey?”

Remus made a ‘so-so’ motion. “Sort of. I was the Lions’ physical therapist for two years before I was a player. We started spending more time together after Sirius broke his ankle.”

“Are you the other engaged couple?” Sirius beamed and held up his left hand. “Yeah, I thought so. Congrats, you’re both adorable!”

“Merci.”

“Do you want to sign us off, Grace?” Marlene asked as Sirius and Remus rejoined the rest of the group.

She turned to the camera and waved. “Thanks for watching, everyone!”