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#if this doesn't post again i'm going to cry
monzabee · 1 day
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mr. big (social media au) - cs55
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, your boyfriend, Carlos.
Pairing: carlos sainz x romance writer!reader (model used: random people i found on pinterest)
Warnings: none other than some cursing? carlos being an old money dream as always
Request: "For a smau, would love to see romance writer!reader with Carlos (he is just Disney prince vibes) where fans aren’t quite sure how they got together but the influence him on her work is greatly appreciated" by my lovely @percervall
Author note: OKAY JUST REALISED I AM A CARRIE AND BIG APOLOGIST, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT (i might be freaking out about them, but i will always be a charlotte girl)!!! (might honestly turn it into a series because who doesn't love a satc x old money crossover???)
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
yourusername
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Liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, readersdigest and 438,927 others.
yourusername: busy, busy, busy bee.
user: thank you mother for feeding us with another hot billionaire novel
yourusername: you are more than welcome
user: how is she not only one of the best romance authors, but also a fashion icon??
user: can't wait to read what carlos inspired this time!!
carlossainz55: you are not wearing you glasses again, cariño
yourusername: why don't you come put them on yourself??
user: oh, they are so cute it's sickening
user: GIVE US THE MANUSCRIPT AND END OUR SUFFERING
view all 2,387 comments.
user: how did they get together again??
user: i think he ran into her at one of her book signings in madrid?
user: i thought it was when she went to the paddock for some good old r&d?
user: i heard somewhere that a friend set them up
yourusername posted a new story!
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carlossainz55 posted a story!
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yourusername
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Liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, goodreads and 682,928 others.
yourusername: life lately & "between love and loathing" out june 23rd.
user: we love the romantic getaway, and a new book!!
user: we're being fed in more ways than one, and i am not complaining at all!!
user: oh shit, we're about to read the best romance novel of all time
view all 13,726 comments.
carlossainz55: i'm so proud of you, you have no idea
yourusername: way to make me cry
yourusername: i love you though
carlossainz55: te quiero más
user: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE THE OLD MONEY COUPLE WE NEEDED ALL ALONG AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW THEY STARTED DATING
user: it will remain forever a mystery
user: but at least we have content to keep us going through these hard times
carlossainz55
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Liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 977,520 others.
carlossainz55: one of us made the pancakes, and one of us stood there looking pretty.
yourusername: hey, it was your turn to make breakfast
carlossainz55: and i loved every second of it
yourusername: even doing the dishes?
carlossainz55: especially doing the dishes
user: this is by far the most romance book thing this man has done
user: i still don't understand how they started dating, but good for them i guess
view all 35,726 comments.
landonorris: hey, i didn't get any pancakes, did you? @charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc: didn't even know we were having pancakes, where are our pancakes @carlossainz55
landonorris: and cooking in a towel?? how is that sanitary??
charles_leclerc: he's breaking at least a dozen health codes
carlossainz55: i hate you both
yourusername: you are all a pr nightmare
scuderiaferrari: i agree
user: damn he got lucky
yourusername
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Liked by f1wagss, carlossainz55, sarahjessicaparker and 736,928 others.
yourusername: and there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, carlos sainz.
user: SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
user: what kind of an iconic cunt slay is this
user: and just like that... they became the coolest couple on the internet
user: NEW NOVEL IDEA, SEX AND THE CITY RETELL WITH CARLOS
user: girl wtf
yourusername: no let her cook
yourusername: you might be onto something here
user: don't know if i want to be her or be carlos
view all 44,736 comments.
user: everybody say thank you mom for blessing us
carlossainz55: amor
yourusername: amor x2
user: oh she's working overtime god bless you
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The fact that radfems spread this post around is actually really interesting--infuriating, but interesting. Because what they've really done here is tell on themselves.
This is the shrimp guy story:
From an anonymous green text called "shrimp saved my life" [emphasis mine]:
>be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before >he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew >We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.
He did address his relationship with women. By finding a hobby and passion and working on himself--"touching grass"--he stepped away from the echo chamber that filled him with all this rage and convinced him women were to blame for all of his problems. As someone once wisely observed, "the cure is going offline and realizing it's just. really not that big a deal."
And that is what radfems have not done, so of course they didn't spot the quiet flashpoint of shrimp guy's personal development within his story.
Edit: it's been brought to my attention that the version of the greentext post I lifted the text from was censored by someone else. My bad for not realizing that, tbh it was done so well I thought shrimp guy had done it himself, but that's an important part of the post. I've gone back through and un-censored it. The reply which was spread around with the original post addressed the words themselves well, I think; however distasteful and fucked up the incel rabbit hole is, it doesn't diminish his growth.
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rafesfavgirl · 2 days
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two graves, one gun — r. cameron
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sad rafe fic bc i just got my period and i'm feeling extra emotional :')
❝ so long, london stitches undone two graves, one gun you'll find someone ❞
pairing: bf!rafe x fem!reader
context: after another night of getting coked out and passing out on barry's couch, rafe realizes you deserve better than him and decides to let you go.
words: 1.3k+
warnings: drug addiction, break-up, might make you cry, ANGSTY asl
the sole of your heel taps anxiously against your living room's hardwood floor, as you stared at the time on your phone's lock screen, which lit up with a photo that wheezie took of you and rafe sitting at one of the tables at midsummers last year, looking at each other as if you were the only people there.
8:30 p.m.
your heart aches at the realization that he had forgotten your date again, but the nerves that settle in your stomach win over, as you think about where he probably is.
pushing your weight off the sofa, you grab your car keys from the hooks on the wall, and dial rafe on your way out the door.
straight to voicemail. fuck.
you skip down the steps in front of your house and unlock your car in the driveway to get in, immediately starting the engine to get on your way.
you dial rafe again as you pull into the road—to no avail.
"damn it, rafe," you mutter, eyes switching between the road and your phone as you type him a message.
you: where are you???
when the message doesn't even go through, you let out a frustrated groan. either his phone's dead or it's switched off. you step on the gas to speed up, zigzagging between cars to get there faster.
you pull to an abrupt stop in front of a beat-down house on the south side, and switch the car off before hopping out.
"mrs. country club, what brings you to this side of the island?" barry stands from the porch when he sees you walking towards him, fuming.
"oh spare me the fake hospitality, barry," you tell him. "where is he?"
"where's who?" he shrugs—but you knew he knew what you were talking about.
"don't play dumb with me," you spat, attempting to walk past him. "i know he's here."
he steps to the side to block you from going any further. "maybe so, but it ain't a pretty sight."
"ugh," you manage to walk past him and proceed into the house, with him on your tail. "rafe!"
barry catches up to you and blocks your way again. "hey, i told you-"
"barry, you're really testing my patience here, alright?" you say, refusing to back down. you weren't scared of him—okay, maybe a little, but you weren't about to let him see that. "rafe!"
you push past barry again, and make your way further inside, immediately rushing to rafe, who was passed out face-down on barry's couch.
"oh my god, rafe!" you crouch down beside him, not missing the un-sniffed lines of coke on the wooden table in front of him, and pick up his head in your hands. "baby, baby," you gently pat his face with your hand. "can you hear me?"
"told you it wasn't a pretty sight," barry leans against a wooden post and watches you, making you roll your eyes.
"rafe," you try to wake him up again. "babe."
thankfully, his eyes flutter open, relief washing over you as you let out a sigh. "oh thank god."
"y/n?" his voice is barely above a whisper when his eyes lock with yours. "shit!"
you move aside when he suddenly sits up, searching the couch cushions for his phone. "what time is it?"
"rafe-"
"no, fuck!" he shouts when he realizes his phone is dead, and looks up at barry. "i told you to wake me up if i knocked out!"
"i'm not your keeper, cameron," barry shrugs. "just take your shit and go, a'ight?"
"baby…" rafe turns to you kneeling on the ground beside him, his voice much softer now. "i swear i set an alarm— i was just— i didn't think my phone would die and-"
"hey," you place your hand on top of his, squeezing it lightly to make him look at you. "don't worry about it. let's just get out of here, okay?"
he nods, and you stand up, dusting yourself off as you do.
"i'll meet you in the car, doll," he tells you. "i just gotta take care of something."
the car ride back to your house is almost completely silent, until rafe breaks it.
"you look beautiful, by the way," he says, eyes shifting to you.
you glance at him, a small smile on your lips. "thank you."
"god, i'm such an idiot!" he groans, clearly frustrated with himself over the situation. "how many missed dates is that this month?"
"rafe, i told you not to worry about it," you tell him. "it's okay, i get-"
"y/n," his voice is stern now, his eyes burning holes into your skin. "how many?"
you sigh, turning the wheel towards the curb to park the car in front of your house. "four," you answer, switching the ignition off. "that was the fourth one this month."
rafe scoffs and shakes his head, eyes averting away from you. he just couldn't look at you anymore, because he knew that even if you didn't show it, you were disappointed. not only at him, but maybe even yourself for putting up with him.
"hey," you place a hand on his knee, and he glances down at the gesture, before finally looking at you. "it's okay."
"how is it okay?" he asks, eyebrows furrowing. "all i do is disappoint you."
"baby, that's not true," you try to reassure him, but he doesn't buy it.
"it is true," he tells you. "and you don't deserve it."
not knowing what to say, you just glance down at your hand on his knee. "rafe…"
"no," he cuts you off, and places his hand above yours to slowly push it off of him. "i can't keep doing this to you."
letting out a sigh, you adjust yourself in your seat so you're looking at him. "okay, rafe, before you saying anything else— i love you, alright? there's nothing you can do that-"
"and that's exactly the problem, a'ight?" he snaps. "you're never gonna walk away from me yourself! even when i bought this shit from barry after i told you to wait in the car." he reaches into his pocket and tosses the small bag of blow in between the two of you. your eyes shift from it to him, the uneasiness in your stomach only getting worse.
"i have a problem y/n," he tells you. "and it's not the kind you can just 'fix' with love."
"then we'll get you help. we'll do any-" you try to reach out to him, but he resists.
"no," he says, motioning a hand between you two. "this has to end."
the words you dreaded hearing comes out of his mouth in one fell swoop, your heart shattering into a million pieces.
"what?"
"i'm never gonna be the guy you need me to be," he shakes his head at you, and if it weren't so dark outside, you swear you'd see his eyes watering. "and since you can't let go, i have to do it for you."
tears brim along your lower lashes as you speak, "no. that is not your choice to make."
"god, y/n, can you stop making this harder than it already is?" he pleads.
"can you stop acting like it's so easy?" you retort.
"you think this is easy?" he asks, taken aback by your accusation. "it kills me to do this."
"then don't," you say, voice cracking as you reach out for his hands. "we can work through your addiction together, rafe. we'll-"
"that's not your responsibility," he shakes his head at you. "if i'm gonna get better, i need to do it on my own."
you sob, "i— i don't want this to be the end.”
rafe glances down at your hands, before bringing his hand up to cup your cheek.
you lean into his touch, and a single tear rolls down your cheek—one that he wipes away with his thumb.
"i love you so much," he says, eyes closing as his head tilted down against yours. "i'm sorry."
his lips place a soft kiss on your forehead, and just like that, he's gone.
part 2 coming soon!!
reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated <33
click here to be added to my tag list!!
tags: @chiaraanatra @ijustwanttoreadlols @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafesgiirl @solanathascientst @10ava01 @werewhatkilledthedinosaurs @void21 @groovycass @azrielsgirll @rroslitas @crvptidgf @star-girl-05 @redhead1180 @shadyshadyy @prettypimpcess12 @emotionsmgcbabe @outerbankspov @letmeintourheart @gublerstylesobrien1238 @deadgirlwalkingirl
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Please….Please save me from the regulus discourse I keep seeing…i saw 7 posts about it in succession…he doesn’t deserve this…I need…regulus headcanons…
JUICY HEADCANONS HERE WE GO.
tagging @rizzulusarcturizz @villain-crown @ilovefanfics @arcturusblackregulus and @queerregulusablack because i love them.
regulus smokes his first cigarette in his brother's room, taken from a pack sirius left behind. he keeps the pack even after he's smoked all of what's inside, because that's where he puts all his little notes for sirius.
sirius likes to tell regulus that he loved regulus before he was ever born, and little regulus would always laugh at that. he tells his big brother to stop being silly, and sirius plays at being offended. "i'm not being silly! it's true! i was waiting for you all along!"
pre-hogwarts regulus and sirius once fought over regulus fussing over kreacher. sirius was looking for regulus only to find him trying to convince kreacher to let him wrap his injured finger with his handkerchief.
Sirius calls regulus out in annoyance because he didn't want his brother touching the elf, he was uneasy around them and he didn't think it was regulus' role to care for beings meant to serve them (as they've heard their entire lives). but regulus wouldn't budge. he grips on to Kreacher's hand tighter while glaring at sirius. the shock at regulus' ire turns into petty rage and jealousy, as the poor elf keeps telling regulus that it was okay, mumbling out a dozen other protests about how master regulus didn't need to lower himself and— and— this makes sirius angrier. so much so that he ends up yelling at kreacher to shut up. which in turn makes regulus scream at sirius to go away.
and so sirius does, angrily, hurt, and feeling slightly betrayed. so unused to regulus... fighting him. "Stupid little brothers," he says to himself. "See if I ever play with him again!"
Sirius was still by himself, thinking of turning regulus away when his brother inevitably came to his room later at night, to sleep in his bed, when he hears his brother's wailing cries. this puts a primal fear into his being that far overshadows whatever childish anger he was clinging to. he runs down the stairs to see what's happened. and there, he sees his brother, clutching at his cheek and cowering from the tall figure of his mother looming over him, wand drawn.
regulus was caught with kreacher.
for once in his (relatively young) life, sirius is frozen. he doesn't know what to do. this isn't a broken vase he can say he broke. this wasn't something he could say regulus did for him. the act of nursing an injured elf was so clearly an action belonging to regulus. only regulus would do this.
he looks at their mother and sees the disgust and disappointment lining her features. regulus was her perfect boy.
and her perfect boy had wrapped his handkerchief, with the black family coat of arms embroidered right at the center, and used it to bandage an elf's bleeding finger. his mother is incandescent.
sirius is too slow, too short, to reach his brother as walburga reaches to shake his brother with a frightening vigor that has regulus crying out in alarm.
"Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?" his mother shouts over regulus' panicked cries. At sirius' shout of alarm, she lets regulus go with a harsh shove and makes her way to him.
"You should've taught him better! What use are you to the family if you can't look after your brother?" she yells at him. she prods at his chest, making sure her nails dig in painfully, "This is your fault, you foolish child." Sirius can't even muster the rage he so usually feels at his mother, yet again, finding ways to blame him. At least she's let regulus go.
When, after their mother has left, sirius gathers his little brother into his arms and shushes him, rubbing his back best as he can. they're both reeling. regulus at being punished for what he thought was right, unused to being the recipient of their mother's anger. and sirius for not being able to do anything, to help him — replaying the way his limbs froze, his mind unable to think of something quick to say or do.
he wants to punish kreacher for his brother's tears.
regulus is top of his class in potions. really, it's him and severus that become the talk of the school. prodigies. Slughorn's two favorite students and the topic of most his open bragging. a lot of students remark on them being fortunately in separate years, avoiding the cutthroat competition that would've been for the top spot. they don't necessarily like each other, but the respect is there.
regulus expected to receive the brunt of severus' anger regarding his brother. he tells him this as they end up in the same library aisle, discussing which potions book had better methodology. and the older scoffs.
"It's sad how you keep wanting to be like your brother."
and the statement stings. he idolizes his brother.
"Get over yourself, Black. It's a compliment. You're not your brother and you've already made a name for yourself."
oh...
"Never talk to me about this again. I don't hate you but we're not friends."
After finishing 6th year, Severus gives him his potions book.
"Here, see if you can do better than me. Use it and let me know how it turns out." he stops before he walks away, "Or not. I'll probably hear about it from the professors."
something something regulus asking to apprentice under madame pomfrey. regulus slowly gains her trust and respect. eventually, she lets him help with remus, after he comes to her telling her how he knows, and how remus knows that he knows.
"I mean... Moony? Really?" he asks incredulously. He shoves his wand harshly under Remus' throat, "Do you think I'm stupid?"
Regulus tells Sirius to leave. He'll follow but not in the near future.
"Come on, Sirius. I'll survive without you. But you won't with me." "That's not true! Together or not at all, remember? We promised. I promised." "What, you think I'm not brave enough? Too soft to ever completely leave the family behind? That I'll lose myself to them?" "No, I think you've always been brave. Too brave. You don't have to be brave for them and not this way. Can't you see Reggie? This way's fucked up. We can just leave!" "It's... It's not that bad Sirius. Or at least it never was for me. I can be strong for the both of us and I want to — just promise you won't go where I can't follow." "As if. What do you want me to tell moony, you little shit?" "That I love him." "This hurts you know? This entire conversation has been one big pain in the ass, and it's going to be for a long while. Man, fuck you. Honestly. I can't blame you, but this hurts, just so you know." "I know. I love you." "...I know."
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charlottenewtons · 1 year
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The 39 Steps (1935) dir. Alfred Hitchcock
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lucyvaleheart · 1 month
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pinkytoothlesso11 · 24 days
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BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out <33
Ahhhh thank you so much!! I've been spammed with these asks lol, so this post goes out to those of you who also sent this to me! Thank you @seekerofblades, @andraedevane and @bluheaven-adw!
You guys are the best! 🥰🫂🥰
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hailsatanacab · 2 years
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Chapters: 12/? Fandom: Danny Phantom, Batman - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Danny Fenton & Damian Wayne, Batfamily Members & Danny Fenton Characters: Danny Fenton, Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth Additional Tags: Good Sibling Damian Wayne, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Danny Fenton and Damian Wayne are Twins, Danny Fenton Needs A Hug, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not Phantom Planet Compliant (Danny Phantom), Bad Parents Jack and Maddie Fenton, Gun Violence, Blood and Violence, Gunshot Wounds, Mugging, Medical Torture, Vivisection, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Child Neglect, Past Child Abuse Summary:
“If you ever find yourself in danger, go to Bruce Wayne. He will help you.”
His mother had loved him, in her own way. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have helped him escape. If she hadn’t, she would have dragged him back to the League of Assassins, to Grandfather. If she hadn’t, he’d be dead.
She loved him, but she loved the League more.
Jack and Maddie Fenton loved him too, they did, but they loved their work more.
They loved their work more.
--
After his parents react poorly to his reveal, Danny escapes to the only person he thinks can help him - Bruce Wayne. He doesn't know what to expect when he gets there, but it has to be better than where he is, surely? He certainly doesn't expect to be reunited with his long lost twin brother Damian. It's funny how things work out that way.
Danny is 16 years old, not Phantom Planet compliant
--
Chapter 12!! Chapter 12!! Chapter 12!!
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da-proti-toku-grem · 19 days
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feeling like a total asshole today 👍
#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night#i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know#so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD#but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying#and i felt absolutely nothing#idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel#like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just?????#that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car)#and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow#and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago#i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back#not right now#not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week#but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go#and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now#and all i can think about is that i'm anxious#i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know#i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it#bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has#but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality#why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain#like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings#i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it#i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it#i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly#so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language)#is easier than talking in spanish#and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind#but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/#i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit
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yangjeongin · 10 months
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saw that today (or yesterday?) was the anniversary of mixtape: oh aka hyunjin’s first appearance after his hiatus and maybe i’ll cry actually
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syncogon · 2 months
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fun fact: miqin mubei, face obscured, is the second named character to appear in the entire show. yes he appears all the way in episode 1
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dazais-guardian-angel · 7 months
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feeling sick to my stomach after that finale, actually, wow
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closetspngirl · 10 months
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arklay · 1 year
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did not just think about diana finding al just sitting on their bed holding their wedding photo in his hands after she brings him back, and he's just looking at it, visibly distressed, and the moment she touches his shoulder he starts crying and buries his face against her chest because he thinks he really ruined their relationship. good lord
#leah.txt#pair: ewskers#baby boy she would not have spent years regenerating your body if she hated you i am going to disintegrate i can't do this#i think when his viruses are stable his emotions are very much Not. i think the mutant strain changed specific brain chemistry and he lost#a lot of empathy and just the ability to really feel emotions. he was very numb. he knew he should feel a certain way and emulated that but#he didn't really *feel* and after everything is stable he's feeling things he hasn't in over 10 years and he's also in a very bad state of#mind from everything that's happened so oh boy things aren't going great for them#also numb except like anger. and hatred. he was being turned into a literal killing machine after all. notice how blood thirsty he got?#i have so much post volcano lore for them i can't do this i need to just. explodes. and like they are still working through things ofc (it#takes years) when diana is alerted of activity with the company and even though they go and do all of that like he is still trying to find#himself again and decondition everything spencer and umbrella drilled into his head. they are still evil and scheming don't worry there#besties. and they still think they are better than everyone else. this is fact in their minds. but like. there's a lot going on for him#i put him through a lot of pain and as much as i joke that i want to put him through a blender it actually makes me really sad. he doesn't#need more trauma lmao. yeah he is evil and fucked up but no child deserves what spencer did to him#fictional man making me really sad. i need to wrap him in a blanket#sir why did you have to go and try and kill everyone on the planet whadda hell is wrong with you i'm holding your hand#maybe if your wife was there kissing you then you'd calm down a little bit and not throw yourself into a volcano#not unfolding time coming on shuffle as i type this what is wrong with you spotify i can't go through this right now#i like to see powerful men weak and cry but also he is a ball of trauma and it hurts me#i have Many thoughts about why he did what he did in 5 cause yeah it's out of character for him to follow through with spencer's vision#but i don't think that's what he was doing. kinda hinted a bit at this with that one fight fic but also i have a whole essay somewhere
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born-to-lose · 1 year
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It's a mental breakdown *du du duuu duuuuu du du du du duuuu"
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crayolacolor · 2 years
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aaa
#vent cw#negative cw#( i'm sorry i try not to post vent stuff too often but i desperately need to get this off my chest )#i got hit with so much stress all at one time today#covid cases are going back up again and i'm gonna cry because i already feel like i lost 2 years of my life to this stupid virus#i just want things to go back to normal#i keep seeing those reminder: the pandemic isn't over yet posts and it feels like a punch in the gut to me#i know who they're for but honestly. do posts like that really help?#i think the people posts like that are directed towards would just see it and scoff#meanwhile people like me are hit with another reminder that everything is still horrible and nothing's getting better#and even if they DO get better it doesn't last#my mom kept us on 2020-level lockdowns throughout this whole thing and was JUST starting to let us do normal stuff again and now this.#i don't want to go back to that#i want to live#i don't want to lose another year of my life#be cautious of course but i can't just shut myself down completely for this long#my mental health can't take it#i also have had a massive relapse of an unrelated worry that i don't want to directly say because i feel like i'll speak it into existence#i don't. really believe that's a thing that can happen but it's an irrational fear with this worry specifically#and it's infuriating because it's not one that i can easily dismiss in a week or two#this one has lasted for months and is likely to keep nagging at me for the foreseeable future#i just want to not be stressed#that's literally it#i don't know what to do
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