#if this is triggering to anyone please ask to tag ? i'm not sure if this is considered body horror or not

[tekatonic]

huh, Princess Elise is looking a lil different today

[ars-matron]

I really need to talk for a minute about this new mobile update and how much I as a legally blind person hate whatever the hell is going on with the photos and how it's making this app nearly impossible for me to use

I'm not sure the same thing is happening on the desktop version but for those who may not know in the app whenever you tap on a photo it used to just pop up and you could double tap to enlarge it and zoom in and scroll around and all was great.

A double tap now likes the photo and it must be pinched and pulled to zoom in and out. A mild annoyance, and nothing compared to the rest of the update. If you scroll up, which I do frequently when trying to navigate an enlarged photo, it will send you to ANOTHER photo based on the tags of the post.

That's right, a completely different photo!!! A feature no one asked for and no one wants!! This isn't facebook, or instagram, and maybe tiktok but I never had that so this is a guess. When I click on the photo I only want to see that photo (or in the case of multiple photos in a post I want to be able to easily scroll side to side for those). I do not want to be taken to another post!!! Also if you scroll too far to the left you are then sent to the profile of the person who reblogged the post. I do not know why. Who wants this feature? Is it a feature at all?

As someone who only taps on a photo because I cannot see it and I need to enlarge it, this is beyond a simple annoyance. I cannot navigate the photo like I need, there's a hair trigger on whether it sends you to a new post completely or if you are sent to the profile of the reblogger. Neither, again, are things I want. this leaves me having to back track a lot, re-zoom the photo as it reverts back to normal, and hope dearly that this time I can just read the damned text before it freaks out again.

I haven't seen anyone else talk about this outside of the tags, but really this is making the app unusable for me, and I'm sure for many others.

@staff I know you guys haven't cared about your disabled community much in the past (other photo updates that stopped allowing me to zoom into gifs is proof of that) but please don't make this app unusable for me. I would rather not have to leave.

[heizours]

YOUR FIRST

summary. he overhears a conversation about who was your first favourite character in the game, and he grows jealous about it

tags. gn! reader, grammatical mistakes may occur

cw. none as far as i have check

feat. scaramouche, thoma, childe, xiao, dottore

< back to event m.list

INTRO.

"Who was my first favourite character during the early days I was playing it?" You repeated the same question that your friend was asking you.

"Precisely! C'mon, I'm sure there is someone who had really caught your attention the moment they entered a quest you were playing or something like that."

They responded back, as they waited eagerly yet patiently for you to tell them, while you were busy thinking and reflecting back on who it was.

Little do you know, that they are not only one who's itching to know your big revelation.

If the doors have eyes, then the walls or perhaps the screens have ears as well.

"Well, I'd say that the first character who caught my attention and became my favourite in a short span of time is-"

SCARAMOUCHE.

"-Childe! 

Scaramouche acts like he is not deeply affected by it and acts like it wasn't a big deal to him, but the expressions that were painted on his face betrayed the best of him.

Why are you smiling when Childe's the topic?

What did he do to make you joyous like this?

But... if he is the first character you like, is it now a liked?

There is this some sort of uneasy feeling that continues to brew and swirl inside of him the very moment your face had brighten up at the mention of the harbinger's name, and he has no idea how to stop it and why was he feeling it in the first place.

Is this another emotion that a heart can experience and learn, from time to time? What was it called again?

Ah yes, jealousy.

Scaramouche suddenly scoffs at the realization, finding it hard to believe that he would feel the bitterness of what enviousness is like sooner than he had anticipated, and the primary cause that triggered it was none other than that side character.

Childe? Cool and Captivating? Please, you haven't even seen how he could be a million times better than him.

"You mean to tell me that I'm simply getting worked up all for this? Why should I be bothered over it, when I could be a whole lot better than him? Heh"

THOMA.

-Itto! 

Thoma rarely taste the medicine of jealousy but seeing that look on your face when you rambled on about the oni, somehow snapped him into his senses. He felt the need to grab your attention from the screen to tell you that he is here too, and maybe - just maybe you could switch your favours around. 

I'm not jealous...being one is simply irrational

Maybe — I am a little bit jealous

Alright, I am jealous...

While he would be in denial at first with the jealousy he is dealing with, he would still come to the generalization that he is indeed jealous, and if he will have to cope up with it, he would put back on his smiley facade, only this time something about his smile is a little unpleasing, that even Itto himself will not dare to breathe around him.

But, instead of continuing to bottle up his jealousy and act petty like the others, he would understand why you favour the oni and would put that first before his feelings.

Don't be fooled though, compliment him too while you're at it!

“Oh...I didn’t know they like him. It sounds very surprising coming from them, but who am I to judge? Well then, has anyone seen Itto? I bet he will be delighted to hear the news!”

CHILDE.

“-Thoma! 

Childe laughs it off - Yes, it’s the laugh that you are thinking right now where he is this close from committing another arson. He is definitely not a second away from taking a trip to Inazuma and is on the go to plan a competition with the housekeeper, because he’s too cool to even to something like that.

I see, another challenger perhaps?

Hmph, what’s the point of challenging him if I know that I am the strongest?

Clear skies Ajax, clear skies

At this point, it is quite clear that he is turning into the embodiment of jealousy due to the amount of assurance that he is telling to himself, not because he is threatened by Thoma but because he is threatened that your favouritism about him will be the reason for his downfall.

He is threatened by the fact that you could easily evict him from your main team and replace him with someone else from another region who is just newly released and is almost a carbon copy as him, if not for the differences of their physical appearances.

It is indeed true that jealousy is a disease, that not even Ajax himself could flee from it.

“Thoma? I have heard of that name, but I also heard that I can excel ten times better at the things he could do. No- I’m not showing off, I am simply describing that I am a way better option than him, that’s it.”

XIAO.

“-Scaramouche! 

Xiao stays the same as he is, or -  that’s what he thinks. Truth to be told, he doesn’t even realize that he is jealous, but as they say - actions speaks louder than words, and the way he is acting right now shows how he is envied by this favouritism topic.

Did I expect too much?

I don’t like this feeling...

Is this what those mortals call as jealousy?

It takes a while for him to accept that he is jealous, but after that whole feeling finally sinks in, well let’s say he is displeased by this realization because by every second, that feeling continues to sink deeper and deeper as if it’s attempting to land in the deepest depth of the ocean. 

But, like Thoma, he is another who tries to get over with it and respects why you favour that character the most. Maybe it’s because you see them in a different light that others can’t, and he understands that.

Everyone has favourites, and he can’t blame you for that because even him has one which is you but he would rather not say it.

"Hm, while I do not fawn over him, I suppose I understand why you like him in the first place. Whatever makes you happy, is simply enough for me to know why."

DOTTORE.

- Alhaitam!

Dottore remains indifferent or so what he assures to himself, because if anyone where to see right through him, displeased is not even used enough to describe how disturb he is by that revelation.  

The Akademiya scribe is what they fawn over the most, hm?

How interesting....

Though, irritating would be the right word for it

His pride is wounded, and what makes it even more worse for him is he is a man of intelligence. So naturally, he is intimidated and threatened that the scribe who is also intelligent but not as him, could be the reason why he can’t turn the favour of you to him.

To get rid of the jealousy that he is feeling, he will dedicate most of his time (like he isn’t in the first place) inside his lab, doing things where only he knows what it is. He is one of the upper rank harbingers and dictated as the doctor for a reason, and the only way he could could get off the steam he is feeling, is to be busy.

While he is ordering around his clones and agents at the same time, any step or news that he gets from them and will be deemed as a failure, will have to face some serious issues from him, especially that Dottore is not in the mood to be in a dilly dally manner.

“Anything I need? Perhaps you can give me a little information about the scribe - take it or leave it. Either way, leaving it is not even an option in the first place.”

[runningfrom2am]

could we get a blurb where rafe saves reader at a party?

it's gets a little handsy for her with some of his friends and one of them tries to go too far and rafe saves her?

thank you for this request omg!! i hope it lives up to your expectations (even tho its a little long to be a blurb oops-) and i'm sorry this took me so long!

get the fuck off her - r.c.

pairing: rafe x fem!kook!reader

wc: 2.4k

tags/warnings: angst, comfort, implications of attempted sa, intentional use of lowercase, violence (kinda), some generally triggering stuff so please if any of this is upsetting for you please go read something else!

requests (currently closed- feel free to send whatever but it will be a while before I get to them!)

nav/masterlists

"you're not funny kelce, has anyone ever told you that before?" you raise an eyebrow at your friend, talking loudly over the blaring music as you cross your arms over your chest.

"actually no, that's a first." kelce replies snarkily, mocking your posture. "you're lying though, babe- i know you think i'm hilarious."

you roll your eyes, a smile still present on your face. your pupils are blown, lids drooping slightly as you immediately forget the interaction and sway with the music.

"c'mon, you know you love me." kelce chuckles, stepping closer and placing his hands on your waist. you laugh, brushing his hands off smoothly.

rafe is biting into the rim of his plastic cup as he watches, previously enjoying a sip of whatever jungle juice someone had left on the counter. he's watching closely, and though you laughed it off, he knew you well- and he knew you weren't a big fan of being touched. kelce should know better too.

it's only a matter of minutes before it happens again, topper approaching the group and slinging his arm over your shoulder which you don't even process with the concoction of substances mixing in your bloodstream.

"rafe, man, your sister's a bitch, bro." topper whines, leaning into you further.

"that so?" rafe chuckles, watching topper's arm slide down to your back.

"yeah, she's leading me on, then fucking off and leaving me high and dry." he explains vaguely. "i bet you wouldn't do that to me, would you, sweetheart?" he says to you, hand sliding lower, lower, until his fingers reach the bottom of your shirt and the skin of your back.

"i don't think it's personal, top. have you tried talking to her about it?" you suggest, wrapping your arms around yourself, subtly holding the hem of your shirt down.

topper rolls his eyes, leaning closer to make sure you hear him as you lend him your ear. "i just hate talking though... don't you?" he says, lips brushing over the skin of your neck.

"you're drunk, top..." you laugh nervously, very briefly making eye contact with rafe standing across from you in the small circle you've created.

"hey, what'd he say?" rafe asks over the music, brow furrowed with the instant rush of sobriety.

you smile nervously at him. "nothing... he's just being weird." you chuckle, shaking your head and trying to move away. "i'm gonna go get another drink. i'll be back." you squeeze out of toppers grip and walk off through the crowd towards the corner where you hid your cooler.

you bop your head along to the mac miller song that started on your way over, humming along to the tune and laughing a little at other people chanting along to the lyrics. you quickly grab another drink out of the cooler before shoving it back in the mostly empty cupboard and closing it again.

"she's not gonna fuck you, bro. i'll tell you that right now." rafe shakes his head at his friend, taking another sip of the overly sweet drink.

"have you seen her? it's well worth the shot if the worst she can say is no." topper laughs, and rafe clenches his jaw, looking again over the crowd to try and keep an eye on you. "the best she can say is absolutely, and she's into me, i can tell."

"oh, can you now?" rafe mumbles, eyes landing on you at last as you close the cupboard and crack open your can. if you had any feelings for any of the boys you regularly hung out with, it was a secret to him. you were a puzzle to him, despite your friendly and sometimes flirty personality.

"yeah, but she's not gonna let me hit with you clowns around. i'll be back, or not." topper laughs, pushing back through the crowd in the direction of you.

rafe decides to let him go. you could make your own decisions, and clearly, you were going to say no, and topper would come sulking back in a few minutes after striking out. he watched as topper made it up to you, starting a conversation. you were laughing, and he figured that was a good time to let you handle yourself.

except for a few moments later, when he looked up from his conversation with kelce and another girl that appeared by his side, to see you with your back to the wall in a corner, topper standing over you.

"hey, i think we should get back to the guys..." you chuckle nervously, taking a step back and hitting the wall.

"why? i told them we'd be a while." topper smirks, hands once again finding your waist and sliding under the hem of your shirt.

"well i didn't, i said i'd be back and-"

"get that stick out of your ass, won't you? we're having fun." he insists, leaning down over you and brushing his lips over your jaw.

you bite your lip nervously, scanning the room to see if there's anyone near enough to talk to to pull yourself out of this situation. "top, please, i don't want to do this can we just head back?"

"i know you want to give me a shot, you won't regret it..." he mumbled against your skin, hands sliding up farther under your shirt as the sound of your heartbeat echoed over the music in your ears.

you panic, trying weakly to just push him off at this point and create any kind of distance between the two of you as his hands press into your skin. "please don't topper, you're drunk..." you say, but it comes out whinier than you intended. the disconnect between your mind and your body is showing, and you can see that as you're fumbling to get your hands to reach his shoulders just enough to get him to back off. you didn't need to, when a moment later he was pulled back with a force unforeseen by either of you.

"get the fuck off her, man."

it's rafe, and he's angry. you've seen him like this before, sure, but the look behind his eyes is new as he shoved topper away, dropping the grip he held on the back of his shirt. "rafe, c'mon." topper chuckles, adjusting his shirt and rubbing the front of his neck where the fabric had dug into his skin.

just as quickly, rafe's fist was gripping the front of his shirt again, getting face to face with him. "no, she was literally pushing you off and you didn't take that as a no?" rafe's forehead is almost pressed to toppers as he backs him into the kitchen island.

"rafe!" you shout, voice shaky as you try to get his attention. "let him go, it's fine."

rafe looks back over his shoulder at you, standing with your arms crossed tightly over your stomach. he sighs, dropping the fabric before turning to you. "you okay, y/n/n?" he asks, shaking out his fist.

you nod shakily, pulling your shirt back down from where it had ridden up with the disturbance.

"you sure?" he asks again, looking you up and down with concern drawn between his brows.

you continue to nod, looking around now for where topper had put down your drink when he took it out of your hand to back you into the wall. "i'm fine... just, yeah. it's fine." you chuckle awkwardly.

"no, it's not. come on. i'll walk you home, yeah?"

"rafe, c'mon, she said it's fine. she can stay longer." kelce interjects, having followed him over.

rafe throws his hands up in frustration as he turns to his friends. "shut the fuck up, kelce! i'll beat the shit out of both of you. seriously, i don't give a shit." he turns back to you. "c'mon, i'll grab your bag. lets get you out of here."

as rafe leads you away, you avoid eye contact with his friends, arms still crossed to quell your shakiness. rafe pulls your cooler bag back out of the cupboard and throws it over his shoulder before guiding you to the door. you're relieved to feel the cool sea breeze hit your skin, you didn't even realize how stuffy it was and how claustrophobic you felt until you got outside and you could finally breathe again.

"seriously, are you okay?" rafe asks again, feeling nervous that you only said it was fine before because there were so many people around. he's still tense, angry, but he's making an effort to seem calm since now he's alone with you.

"yeah, uh, yeah. fine." you nod softly, staring down at your feet as you make your way to the sidewalk. "just... a little shaken up, i guess."

rafe adjusts your bag over his shoulder, then proceeds to rub his hand over his forehead. "i'm sorry, that was shitty."

"it happens, unfortunately..." you laugh awkwardly, trying to shrug it off.

rafe looks down at you as you walk, still avoiding eye contact with him. "has top done that before? i'll go back and-"

"no! no, he's never done that before." you assure him. "i don't know, like, going to a party around a bunch of people you kind of know and kind of don't know is never... comfortable. it's hard to get comfortable and then when you do something like that happens and-" you laugh to yourself. "sorry, i shouldn't rant to you about this."

"no, by all means." rafe replies, urging you on. "you can tell me anything."

"thanks, but i think i'm done." you grin, arms wrapped tightly around yourself as you walk.

"does that actually happen to you like... often?" he asks after a few moments of silence.

"not often, and its never been that scary- i guess?" you explain. "just sometimes, some guy will touch me or say something and i just get this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is wrong and it's hard to shake. it sticks with you. more often than not if you say no they'll retaliate, either get mad or spread lies about you or whatever. so i just kind of.. freeze. when you don't know what to do, sometimes you don't do anything and you just have to laugh it off. it is what it is, i guess."

"right." rafe nods, deep in thought over what you had said. "so what i'm hearing, is that you never actually slept with devin?"

you laugh at this, tone still slightly wobbly. "i told you i didn't, remember?"

"ah, yes. you did tell me that." rafe remembers how sitting at the country club bar together just weeks prior he had asked you about this rumour and you denied it, shaking your head as you sipped on a virgin daiquiri. "i didn't really believe it anyways. devin's a prick." 

"he really is." you agree, looking up now at the sky. "thank you, by the way," you add, looking over at your friend now for the first time since you left. you're met with confusion in his eyes as he returns your gaze. "for, like, rescuing me."

"i shouldn't have had to. that was fucked." rafe shakes his head. "don't thank me, that's so... twisted. if topper could have gotten through his thick skull that maybe you're not into him-"

"he thinks i'm into him?" you laugh, eyes wide now.

"well, hopefully not anymore." rafe chuckles. "but knowing him, he still probably doesn't get it. i'll talk some sense into him."

"please do." you sigh. "he won't believe it from me, apparently."

"honestly, i don't think i can look at him for the next week." rafe admits.

"tell me about it."

another few moments of silence follow. "you know, you don't have to hangout with us. if we make you uncomfortable we can keep our distance."

"you're the only one who never has." you smile at him. "surprisingly." you add teasingly, bumping your shoulder against his arm.

"what's that supposed to mean?" rafe chuckles, already knowing it was a joke.

you just shrug in response. "you know, you're whole 'bad boy' rep you've got going on."

"i can still be cool and like... not make girls uncomfortable. that's actually kind of the point."

"that's a good point." you agree. "the girls do flock to you."

rafe rolls his eyes at this, smiling as he shakes his head. "not that... that's what i want. it just kind of happens."

"so you get it?" you giggle, feeling the shakiness you previously had finally slightly subsiding.

"well, no. when i tell them to fuck off they... you know, fuck off." he laughs.

"ah- what a pleasure that must be." you joke, stopping as you're now standing in front of your driveway. "thanks for walking me home. it was hard to breathe in there."

rafe stops too, looking down the long driveway to your house. "of course, anytime." he nods, looking at you for a moment before he realizes you're waiting for your bag. "shit, sorry..." he laughs, dropping it from his shoulder and handing it back to you.

"all good." you grin, taking it and putting it on.

"well, I've got to get going. i have a guy to beat up, so..."

as he turns away, you speak to him again. "rafe, don't." your voice is quieter now, and as he looks back at you he sees the tears welling up in your eyes. "please." you add, so softly he's sure if he didn't see your lips moving he wouldn't have heard it. "it'll just make it worse... i just want to forget about it."

"okay, hey, hey- i was kidding. i won't touch him." rafe is quick to backtrack, holding a hand out to grab your shoulder but he hesitates, dropping it again. "are you sure you're okay?"

that's when the floodgates open, and your hands are flying up to your face to cover it as you start to sob. the shock had worn off by now, and the reality of what could have happened was setting in. rafe didn't know what to do, looking around to make sure no one could see. "y/n... what can i do?" he asks, and all he wants to do is pull you into his arms and tell you how safe you are, that everything is okay, but he knows touching you probably wouldn't be wise.

you can't answer. you can hardly breathe as you feel your chest tightening. you try and laugh, wiping your eyes and looking up at him. you wish he wasn't seeing this. you shake your head, deciding to just sit down on the grass.

rafe sits next to you, tucking his knees up to his chest like you had, crossing his arms over top. "you're safe, y/n/n." he tells you, leaning his head on his forearms and watching you. "can i stay with you?"

at this you just move a little closer, leaning your forehead onto his shoulder instead. he freezes up, just for a second, before moving so he can brace his hand on the ground behind you. "I've got you. i'm not going anywhere..."

taglist: @bookishbabyyy, @madelynie, @whore-4-drewstarkey, @slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury, @fullfledgedemo, @rafemotherfuckingcameron, @urfaveluvr, @chenslucy, @hxnnah-397, @s-we-e-t-t-ea, @tahliac11, @saccharinesammie, @ietss, @maybankslover, @redhead1180, @suzyheartsrafe, @wpdailyminimeta, @aegons-bitch, @rafegirly, @lovelyxtommy, @thelomlisrafecameron, @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles, @flonkertn, @whtvrrafe

[farfromstrange]

Just Let Me Love You | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader (f!Reader heavily implied)

Summary: You're struggling with your body image and Matt notices

Warnings: Angst, TW: allusions to an ED, self-deprecating talk (Reader has internalized fatphobia toward herself), not proof red (I was too emotional for that)

Word Count: 2.1k

A/n: So, my body is changing and I hate it. As someone who was the Fat Funny Friend growing up, I got inspired by the song. Now I wasn't sure if to tag for a plus-sized reader because when I wrote this, I had myself in mind, and I'm not even sure what "category" I fall into, so this is pretty universal and I think any of you who are struggling with body dysmorphia might appreciate this. Heed the warnings before proceeding and don't forget to eat if you haven't already! (Also, I used my tag list to tag for this, but don't read it if this triggers you, please!)

Our brains are wired to function in a certain way. But not every brain is balanced in chemistry. 

For the longest time, she thought there was something seriously wrong with her. She never fit in anywhere, so she tried to make herself fit. Change her attitude, change her behavior, change her hobbies, and change the way she looks. She did it so many times, she lost count. 

She relied on humor, telling funny little anecdotes to make whatever friend group she was a part of at the time laugh at her. But that was all she could do. Make them laugh. She lit up the mood, lit up the room, but she seemingly never lit up anyone’s heart the way her friends did. 

They talked about their relationships, talked about their families and friends, and she played along. She listened. When she talked about her likes, they pretended to care, but within minutes, they lost interest. She thought it just wasn’t that important. Not as important as how beautiful they all were, anyway. And they were striking, she thought. That’s why everyone always chose them and never approached her. But she swallowed it to at least be a part of something. 

She always helped everyone but herself. She was there when no one else was, but even when she was a part of something, she never fully fit in. There was an impossible standard looming over her head, and she couldn’t possibly reach it. 

Don’t be too loud. Don’t be too silly. Don’t say no. Don’t talk about your problems, only listen to everyone else’s. Don’t believe that he wants you because he is too good for you, and all he wants is your best friend who is ten times prettier than you. And don’t believe that personality and humor will get you anywhere; you will end up miserably alone the same way people who look like you always will. 

The same voice, over and over again. Word turning into knives. It was exhausting to fight against the demons within her because they just sounded so damn convincing. 

When she met him, the man who stole her heart, she never thought he would ask her out. When he did, she was dumbfounded. In every possible situation, he found himself assuring her that he wouldn’t drop her for the pretty blonde in the office, or his psychotic ex-girlfriend who just happened to have the most beautiful body known to man. To her, at least. Everyone around him was just so beautiful, and he was even more so–he was the prettiest specimen in the world, and everyone desired him. Of course, she grew insecure. She couldn’t help it. It was a reflex.

She fell in love with a man who finally saw her for who she was and he loved her despite—no, he loved her regardless. For who she was. He took her, accepted her, and began seeing her as the most beautiful person in the world. For the first time, she felt appreciated, loved, and not so miserably alone. 

Yet, the fear continued to linger. The fear that one day, he would notice that perhaps, a woman of average looks wouldn’t be enough for him anymore. That she was, indeed, as unconventionally unattractive as everyone said she was from the first day she actually understood what was being said to her. She was just a child then. 

The funny friend. The awkward friend. The weird one. The girl without real friends. The girl with the silly clothes, the silly smile, the slightly crooked teeth, the belly pouch… The girl who lost weight, the girl who gained weight, and the girl who shouldn’t be so proud of herself because she had nothing to be proud of. 

“Sweetheart?” he asked her, yanking her out of the downward spiral that only continued to get worse over time. “Did you have anything to eat yet?”

He stood in the kitchen, the sleeves of his dress shirt bunched around his elbow. It was hot outside, too hot for her liking, and even his clothes were slightly stained with sweat. 

She looked up from the couch, still wrapped up in a blanket despite the high temperatures, a book resting on her thighs. He met her eyes with a smile. 

“I noticed your leftovers are still in the fridge. Could smell them,” he clarified. “I was just wondering whether that was on purpose or not.”

Worrying fit it better, she thought to herself. He always worried too much. 

She closed her book. “I might’ve forgotten,” she said as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

His eyebrows furrowed. “You forgot?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, but it never reached his eyes. 

“Yeah. I probably got too caught up reading or something. It’s no big deal. I’ll eat later. Or drink another latte.”

He hummed. “You know, iced coffee is not considered a healthy diet. Your body needs fuel.”

“Jesus Christ, Matt,” she raised her voice, “I’m okay!”

“You don’t look okay,” he stated as a matter of fact. 

“And how would you know?”

“I just do.”

He approached, his muscles straining against his shirt. It wasn’t fair, how good he looked. How well he carried himself. And he still had the audacity to look at her and tell her she had much more going for herself than just her humor. That she was beautiful. Pretty enough. 

“Hey,” Matt lowered himself on the couch beside her, “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, huh?”

“I forgot to eat, I told you,” she said.

“I don’t believe you.”

“But it’s the truth.”

“Not if you did it on purpose.”

The book landed on the coffee table and she got up, pacing the small space of their shared apartment in the heart of Hell’s Kitchen. He could hear her heartbeat pounding against her ribcage, the pent-up tears, and the tension, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out. But he waited. He gave her the space she needed to collect her thoughts.

“I forgot,” she repeated. “At first. And then I just happened to pass by a mirror and…and I looked at myself. I mean, really looked at myself.”

“Oh–” He sighed. “Baby…”

“I’m smaller when my stomach is empty, you know. And I thought it wouldn’t hurt me to, uh…cut back a little?”

He was about to respond, but she cut him off. “I don’t mean that I’m starving myself. I just…I forgot to eat, and then, when I remembered, I remembered what I saw and I was just…I’m not hungry anymore. I…I don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m not doing it on purpose, I’m just…”

She stopped pacing. She met his unfocused hazel eyes that held so much pain when he looked at her. He reached out, not saying a word, and she extended her shaky fingers toward the lifeline he was throwing. 

“Oh, God,” she whispered. She realized then why he looked so hurt. “It’s getting bad again, isn’t it?”

The question hung in the room as he pulled her toward himself. 

She didn’t protest when he pulled her back onto the couch, his arms engulfing her and pulling her back against his sturdy chest.

“What makes you think that you need to hurt yourself to fit some unrealistic beauty standard?” he asked softly, his voice merely a breath tickling her ear. 

She whimpered, not wanting to answer. 

“What makes you think that not being healthy is the solution to the way you see yourself? Wouldn’t that just make it worse?”

“I just…” She took a deep breath. “I just… I just want to be enough.”

“But you are enough,” he answered in a heartbeat, placing his hand on her neck and turning her face to him. He missed her face with his gaze, but she could still feel him in every fiber of her being as he sat there and felt her pulse, and she matched her breathing to his. 

A tear rolled down her cheek. “You don’t understand what it’s like,” she whispered back. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be only seen as the comedic relief in every relationship you have ever been in while your friends pulled the guys you wanted. Because they never wanted you, and they never saw competition in you either because you were just never the center of anyone’s attention.”

He was silent for a moment. The taste of her tears reached his tongue, and he visibly recoiled at the pain she held inside of her. Matt pulled her closer, holding her a little tighter. She melted. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of leaving her to deal with her thoughts, he placed his lips against her ear again. “You’re the center of my attention,” he said. “Of my world. My universe. And I couldn’t care less about the way you look.”

“That’s because you’re blind,” she shot back, a sob rippling through her body. 

He shook his head. “No. Those who reduce you to your looks are blind, and they don’t even deserve you in the first place. What matters most is this–” his large hand found its way onto the left side of her chest, above her heart. “What’s in here is what makes you beautiful, not what covers the outside.”

“But that’s not enough, is it?”

“To me, it is.”

“Not to me, Matthew. Like I said, you don’t get it.”

She struggled against his grip, but he wouldn’t let her go. “Then let me rephrase it,” he tried again, pressing his hand further against her chest. “I care more about who you are inside because I love you. But I don’t need sight to appreciate your physical beauty along with the sound of your heartbeat. Your breathing. Your touch. You know why?”

She shook her head. “Enlighten me.”

“Because I can feel you, sweetheart, and you are the most breathtaking human being I have ever had the pleasure of laying my hands on.”

If words were enough to make a person pass out, this would surely have been her breaking point. 

“You mean that?” She turned around, her tears now glistening with a taste of hope. 

He brushed them away with his thumb and nodded. “Every last word.”

Her eyes fluttered closed at the ghost of his touch. “I don’t like my body,” the admission came quietly.

In response, Matt nodded. “I know, but you have nothing to be ashamed of. That body deserves to be loved. You deserve to be loved.”

“I feel like…like I don’t deserve you. I don’t want you to leave me for…for Karen.”

The mention of her name caused him to frown. “Karen?” he asked. She nodded. He sighed, forcing her head to his chest, forcing her to listen to his heartbeat the same way he always did to her. “Don’t even think like that,” he told her. “I would never leave you for someone else. For no one, for nothing. I need you to stop assuming that, sweetheart. It’s not true.”

“It feels true,” she cried. 

His lips brushed the crown of her head. “But it isn’t.”

“But–”

“I love you,” he said, a bit more insistent this time. “Only you. I would rather die than never be with you again. And I mean that. Bring me the poison and I’ll prove it to you. I’ll get on my knees and worship the ground you walk on if that’ll make you believe me, but I won’t leave you.”

She clung to him, her nails digging into his shirt. Matt shushed her, his fingers brushing through her hair. The rhythm was soothing. 

She sobbed until she had nothing left to give. She cried because she knew he was right. She knew she was overthinking, but she was powerless to fight it. He was the only one who could open her eyes, and even then, she more often than not slipped away. She hated it. She hated the way her brain was wired, the things she was taught, and the things she continuously and wrongly kept teaching herself. 

Eventually, though, she slacked in his arms. 

“I don’t really like myself right now,” she confessed. “But I don’t know how to stop it.”

Matt chuckled softly, his chest rumbling. He tilted her chin up. “Then let me help you,” he said. 

“How?” she asked. 

He leaned down, his lips brushing against hers in a gentle kiss. “Just let me love you.” 

Tagging from Matt Murdock Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @itwasthereaminuteago @mattkinsella @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @ravenclaw617 @thychuvaluswife @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten

[animehideout]

LOVE IS THE MOST TWISTED CURSE OF THEM ALL

Part Five

Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader

Check part 6 here 🆕

Check part 4 here.

a/n: Hii, I hope you enjoy this part as well, let me know if you want to be added to the tag list 🫶🏻

if you have any ideas of details you want me to include please let me know and don't hesitate to share your critics it helps me a lot to better my writings <3

Music recommendation ♪ : SKZ- Taste ( Yes I am a Stay ♡ )

You shook your hand with Nanami's. Smiling softly at him.

“I see your wife is now playing your game..Gojo?” Said Mei Mei wearing an amused expression,

only earning a glare in return from the man sitting in front of her.

“Come on, don't tell me Nanami triggered your jealousy and protectiveness over your wife” she added.

“Im.Not.Jealous!! And.Shes.Not.A.Real.Wife” he whispered in an angry low tone.

“Hm then why are you so upset about it?” she asked sipping water from her cup.

Gojo leaned in and said, “because I want everyone to treat her poorly, everyone to belittle her and this guys over here shouldn't interfere or try to defend her like the gentleman he is– that's why I'm pissed...my plan is to make her life a living nightmare, and it shouldn't be ruined by anyone, especially Nanamin.. Understood now?”

“Understood” she simply said, looking forward for all the drama that she'll soon witness.

She was relieved that he wasn't jealous, Mei Mei desired Gojo since high school days, and him falling for you; his wife, is something Mei Mei won't allow.

......

“How long have you been teaching here? I haven't seen you around” he asked.

“Um– today is my first day actually” you replied with a hint of awkwardness.

“Oh I see!! good luck then I'm sure you'll do great” he encouraged,

“T-thank you” you stammered ,pleasantly surprised, a warm genuine smile graced your face.

Nanami is indeed respectful and considerate quite the opposite of some other dick that you're stuck with.

“Excuse me for my random question, but what Jujutsu technique do you possess?” he questioned completely oblivious of your situation.

You swallowed with difficulty, rocking your legs under the table in embarrassment. But why would you hide who you really are?

“I–I don't have any Jujutsu energy my situation is kind of complicated so...” you replied,

trying your best to hide your discomfort from his sudden question, especially knowing that your husband is sitting at the table next you and any vulnerability will cost you your dignity and pride.

“Oh I understand! but I'm sure you're skilled with weapon use. It doesn't matter if you have a curse energy or not what matters is the braveness you carry within you” he said and smiled,

he smiled for the very first time in years taking both Gojo and Mei Mei by surprise.

“Nanami smiling? if I knew he had such an attractive smile he would have been one of my preys” thought Mei Mei to herself.

The tables turned, and now it's Gojo's turn to sit and watch your cute interaction with his colleague. Having known Nanami for years, Gojo was already familiar with the way he treats women with ultimate politeness but in Gojo's eyes you weren't deservant of such treatment, he hates you and wanted everyone around to do the same, to turn against you until you feel excluded, until you give up on your job and the small circle you've built in two days. His goal is to make you experience once again the sense of isolation you've grown up with, and Nanami encouraging you was the first step to hinder his goals. That's why Nanami shouldn't get close to you.

...

It was the very first time you witnessed someone acknowledging your skills, someone comforting you and understanding that it's okay to not be a sorcerer. His genuine words touched your heart.

Uncertain how to respond a shy smile formed on your lips, his compliment felt like a gentle breeze that lifted up your spirit, making you forget about all the hate you have dealt with for years.

As the school bell chimed, signaling the break's conclusion, you rose to head to your next teaching assignment for the second years.

“It was nice talking to you, Nanami,”you said gently, keeping eye contact, which he acknowledged without breaking.

“Looking forward to our next meeting...after you” he said, stepping aside to let you walk ahead.

....

“Nanamin!!”

“Yeah Gojo what do you want?” Nanami replied with a sigh, irritated, since Gojo used to annoy him a lot before.

“Nothing much... but maybe next time, acknowledge my presence before chatting with her so casually.”

“Huh? she was sitting alone, and you were with Mei Mei. so what's your point? cuz i couldn't get it yet!”

“Listen, Nanamin, don't waste your time with her. She's–”

“Why would you say that? It's not like I'm trying to steal your wife or something!” Nanami interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

“I'd appreciate it if you don't talk to her again”

“She's a mature woman with free will. You don't get to decide who she talks to.. Excuse me now” Nanami asserted, and the walked away.

– Time Skip Night Time –

“Aah, what a day” you sighed, yawning as you began drying off, still wrapped in your towel.

The warm bath washed away the fatigue from a long day of teaching. Smiling at the memory of Nanami's words, recollecting his warm smile. Suddenly interrupted by a voice.

“I see you're happy?” came a voice that caught you off guard, disrupting your thoughts.

“Satoru? What are you doing here?”

“This is my house, or did you forget?”

A blush colored your cheeks as you realized being clad only in a towel that barely covered the length of your thighs, and his focused intense gaze didn't make things any easier.

“Watcha smiling at? don't tell me you're having those lovey-dovey moments where you have a burst of energy, kicking your feet in the air because you developed a crush on someone? is it Nanami?”

“What if it is? are you jealous? I thought you had plans to spend the night with Mei Mei. What brings you here anyway?”

“Oh, you gave yourself away... eavesdropping to my chat earlier?”

“Nah, wasn't really interested in what you said. You were just loud for some reason” you retorted.

“Getting more bratty by each day?” he remarked, taking a step closer as you instinctively took a step back.

“What do you want?” you asked, panic brewing inside, wild thoughts racing through your mind.

“Nothing.. Why do you seem uncomfortable? Is it because I'm getting this close to you? Is it because my fingers are now tracing your skin?” he teased, his fingers leaving a trail of delicate goosebumps on your exposed arm.

“Satoru!” you warned, air hitched in your throat..

“Is it because no one will be able to hear you scream, in this house of thick walls?”

“Satoru get away and- stop it with your g-games” you stuttered as he tarped you between his chest and the wall. He could hear your heart pounding out of your chest.

“What if I dont? what would you do? stop me?” he challenged.

You tried to walk past him, but he was faster, he pushed you on the king sized bed, and crawled on top of you, making you disappear under his giant figure.

“What? I thought you wanted this from the beginning, I thought you wanted me inside of you huh? You wanted to make this marriage real dont you? so why are you fighting it back now?” he said calmly,

He held your hands above your head to stop you from pushing him and hitting his chest.

“SATORU GET OFF OF ME..I DON'T WANT THAT AND YOU KNOW IT”

tears gathered in your eyes, you didn't want your first time to be like this, hell no, it scared the shit out of you, and wanted nothing more than breaking free from his grasp.

“Are you crying now babygirl? I thought you were braver than this..”

“IM NOT CRYING...GET OFF OF ME NOW” you yelled and used your legs to push him away.

Suddenly, he paused and then started laughing hysterically,

“Y-you should have *laugh* seen the scared look on your face...that was hilarious” he continued on laughing,

and you were sat on the bed, fixing your towel looking at him in utter confusion. “w-what the hell?” you whispered.

He paused inhaling, “See how weak you are, unable to protect yourself..” he started, looking at you with dismissive glance.

”I.am.not.weak.”

“I could have broke you if I wanted to, I'm just not interested in fucking a nobody like you..” he spitted each word was thrown at you like daggers.

You swallowed your pain, choking on the tears that you've never allowed to stream.

“You won't.. and I'm not interested in even looking at some arrogant, power digger, empty shell of man like you” you fought back

“Empty shell of a man” echoed in his ears, the thing that he's always avoided, his emptiness, the void that he thought he covered with his strength, you cracked it. How did you even know?

“Why are you silent now Satoru? did I strike a sensitive nerve?”

“I am the strongest, meaningless words coming from a meaningless person won't affect me” he replied, eyes piercing through you..

“Enough with the strongest!! is it your only resort to defend yourself? to prove yourself? You're not special Gojo Satoru, people out there are also worth it, are also strong and talented , you're not better than them not better than anyone, yo–”

“In all the heavens and the earth, I Alone Am the honoured one..do you understand?” he spoke slowly yet with harsh tone..

a tone that sent shivers down your spine. You looked at him silently, his face inches away from yours, looking into each others eyes, his blue eyes; an ocean, a canva of hidden struggles.

If looks could kill, you'd be already sent to heaven.

“Do.You.Understand?” he repeated.

But all what you could do is stare,

“Say.It” he yelled

“no” you started “...in all heavens and the earth, I alone the one you can't control, Satoru” you added twisting his words, and used them against him.

.....

Satoru let out a short, mirthless laugh, the flicker of offense evident in his blue eyes poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue– but it's Gojo Satoru, he would never give you the satisfaction of actually breaking his ego, so what else he could do except flipping the topics.

“From now on I'll be sleeping here. Couch or the other room, your call, but this is my bed” he declared, breaking the silence after thinking he would really break you, from how intense the atmosphere was.

“If I were you, I'd find another spot. But if you stick here, you better sleep with one eye open” he added warning, taking off his shirt to reveal his toned back.

You swiftly gathered your belongings, exiting the room as he began unbuckling his belt.

.....

Sitting in the next room, knees to your chest, tears flowed silently. making sure the door was locked, you couldn't deny he had given you a scare. It was his plan all along, to frighten you, to make you feel vulnerable, proving he could easily assert dominance.

“I hate this. I hate you, Satoru.”

Taglist ✨:

@smolbeanzzz @eolivy @sanriosatoru @khaleesihavilliard @kiki17483 @ryumurin @tqd4455 @bookswillfindyouaway @kunikuzushisbeloved @numblytemporary @black-swan-blog27 @saiyara05 @sukunasleftkneecap @soulofendlessbook @haitanibros0007 @goldenjoyboyy @certainduckanchor @lorako123

@shervinss

@twitabread

@f1uveryysblog @sleepyyammy @allofffmypeaches @myloveforharrystylesneverenough

@olivianyx @inlovewithlondonn @wisepotato404 @butterskyy

[highttowers]

heart-shaped sunglasses.

pairing(s); matthew lillard!william afton x reader

fandom; five nights at freddy’s [movie]

w/c; 592

trigger/content warnings; slightly unholy thoughts from william about you in your uniform, fem!reader, (reader wears lipstick, has boobs, is called 'girl' by william and has medium-length hair), heavy lana del rey influences (diet mountain dew), mentioned that reader smokes cigarettes, age gap (william is late 40s, reader is mid 20s), no explicit romance but it's heavily implied there's mutual pining, written from william's pov, reader knows his real name, not proof-read, NO use of y/n, lmk if i missed anything.

stella speaks! at this point someone reblogs/tags me in a shitpost about this man, i add tags while my brain is inconsolably horny, and then all of a sudden i'm writing a new draft. and yes, ik lana wasn't really a thing in 1990s, but for now let's pretend he's still a silver fox in the 2020s.

tags; @truecobblepot bc ofc🫶🏽🫶🏽

inspired by this post and the shenanigans that ensued.

“I just wanted to know how much I appreciate you staying late these past couple weeks.”

William’s voice is smooth, he’s demeanor calm, the slight tilt of his head and the casual clasp of his hands in front of him giving no hint to the turmoil in his brain.

You’re his employee. His best employee, no less. He can’t afford to lose you, to drive you away. So he’ll make sure you’re not looking him in the eye when his roam your body.

The words that come from your mouth are sincere. He knows this. He doesn’t much care in this moment however. That red vest is pulled across your breasts, and the top button of your shirt is undone, your tie looser now that the building is empty.

It’s his fault, how tight your uniform is on you. He has your size on file, but he always orders a size down, just for him. He doesn’t pay mind to the way teenage pizza boys and older brothers here with siblings watch you, because he knows he’s miles better than they are.

His eyes linger in the plastic heart-shaped sunglasses hanging from your collar, and he nods towards them. “And those? I do hope you haven’t been wearing those all day.”

It’s a gentle correction. No matter how much William favors you, he still must keep his image up. You shake your head. “No, I just got them out of my locker when I closed up with Robyn.”

“Where did you get them?” He asks, leaning forward. The movement is subtle, but he knows you catch it.

“It was a gag gift from some party,” you answer, taking them off your vest and sliding them on. William's breath barely catches in his throat. The frames are the same shade as the blood red lipstick you love wearing.

It’s your signature. It’s how he knows you’ve been in the break room, paper coffee and water cups stamped with your lips in the trash, lipstick printed cigarette buts in the back alleyway that he’s convinced himself are prettier than anyone else’s.

William's brain is rapid firing all kinds of signals, ranging from you're nearly 20 years younger than him, to why have I never felt this was about my ex-wife?

Everything about you seems to catered to William's preferences. You hold eye contact with him and customers, you're great with kids (including his!), and you actually appreciate the care he takes of his animatronics.

He chuckles as you look around his dim office with your heart-shaped sunglasses. "Well, now, look at you. Never was there ever a girl so pretty." You giggle, tugging on a strand of hair and sliding them up into your hair. "That's so sweet, Mr. Afton!" William chuckles. You're picture perfect and William is damn well aware that he's no good for you. "Please, call me William. It's only fitting that we remain on first name basis...as of your promotion to assistant manager."

Your eyes widen, and you let out a little gasp. "Do you really mean that, Mr. Af-- William?"

God, the way your lips form his name is intoxicating. He nods, his demeanor wavering slightly as you beam at him, thanking him.

It’s a power move, he knows. A selfish one, no less. But he can’t risk losing the one competent employee. And besides, the assistant manager’s uniform is closer to his, the pale purple shirt and darker tie, black slacks and black shoes (of your choosing, of course).

And who is he to deny himself that view?

[depraved-gf]

PART 1 OF 3.5 [PREMATURELY ENDED]

**There will be no more updates unfortunately. I've been ghosted. :(

MASSIVE TW'S: CNC, STALKING, RAPE FANTASY, ETC ETC. Basically if you are triggered by intense, dark kinks or sex, please do not read. I do not censor words.

*tagging under #repressedh0e's adventures

Aight so, I can't tell anyone else this because they'd probably call the cops lmao, but I know I can tell y'all freaksss about what happened today. Essentially, I'm being VERY marinated in a cnc stalking scenario for the very first time... Finally! And according to him, it's going to be a very slow burn for anticipation.

--------------

So, I've been talking to this local guy for a lil bit that's very, very much into cnc just like I am (and y'all, he's a whole FOOT AND 2 INCHES taller than me, and has the biggest fucking cock I've ever seen. I'm not even lying - this man is going to rip my little, only-had-sex-with-one-person body to SHREDS). Once we both got a good vibe, we moved towards more kinky territory, talking about safe words, limits, and scenarios for when we eventually meet. He then asked me to send a single photo outside of my bedroom window, and promised he'd find me.

Intrigued, I sent it. I can see my city from my window. Beautiful, really.

But within 15 minutes, he sent me a live snap of my apartment building with the caption: Found you, princess. After losing my shit (in a good way), I confirmed it was my building, and he said he actually lives really close by.

I suspect you're in a corner apartment, 2nd or 3rd story, I'm not sure yet but I'll figure it out. I say nothing. I'm not giving any hints. I'm impressed by his perception at this point. But I am, in fact, on a corner on the 2nd story. How will you figure that out? I ask in innocent curiosity. All I get back is a 🤫 emoji.

And then, maybe 3 hours later, I get a random snap - a chat that simply says, I have a question, Isa. I told him to shoot, go ahead and ask!, and again, he simply asks:

Do you have a fan in your window?

I freak the fuck out (again, in a good way), and confirm that, um, yes... I enjoy the cold, and why do you ask?

About a second goes by, and he sends a live snap of MY 2ND STORY BEDROOM WINDOW with the caption, You can't see me, but I can see you.

How the FUCK this man was able to tell it was my window in a fully wrapped around 6 story apartment building, just by the angle of my one photo, was astounding. I was truly perplexed.

I then get another ding before I can truly wrap my brain around what was happening.

Turn your light off.

I do as I'm told.

I then receive a live video of my bedroom window, with the light shutting off.

I freak out a third time (y'all already know I'm soaking by now), but I realize I couldn't see him. There were 4 cars a little ways down the street, parked in the night. Any of them could've been him. None of them could've been him. I can't see you.. Is all I managed to type out through trembling fingers. It was so intense, and I was so turned on, I barely knew what I was saying at this point.

His response: Good. Let's keep it that way... For now.

Not long after as I'm continuing to try to look into any and every vehicle, I receive a live video. It's him stroking his massive cock in his car with the caption, You know what I want.

Y'all. When I say I about came undone, I MEAN IT. My heart is pounding, my pussy and inner thighs are both absolutely drenched. The moment is so thick with sexual tension, and I'm so entranced in it, I could've sworn I saw god at that point lmao.

But I continue looking out the window, my light still off so I can see into the night. But nothing. All is still. And finally, the car in the very front down the street slowly drives away.

About 5 minutes go by, and it feels like a lifetime, before I receive a chat: You're so close to me. I'll be watching. Waiting. Checking on you every time I go out. Stroking my cock outside your apartment until the day I can finally tear those holes apart.

--------------

Y'all, I... have been dreaming of living out a stalking scenario since I started becoming interested in sex as a teenager. I begged my ex, and while they were into cnc, it was never like this.

Never in my life did I ever imagine these scenarios to be so intense in real life. It's so damn different when it's really happening. Intense, I use that word a lot but there's legitimately no other way to explain it. Exhilarating, even. Psychologically it fucks with you, because you truly never know when they're looking at you. He could be outside right now as I'm typing this, stroking that huge cock, thinking about raping my holes, and I genuinely wouldn't know it. And it turns me on so, so much.

I absolutely cannot wait to see what else happens. 🫣

***DISCLAIMER: yes, I'm being safe!! I've told my roommate and another good friend all about him/the entire situation and the man was of course good with that as well. I'm very willing in this situation, and incredibly aware of any red flags that could arise, pls don't worry<3***

[tan1shere]

Bitter Sweet

Ellie williams x fem reader !

Summary: you're the sweetest soul around Jackson, perfect girlfriend, perfect friends. Everything seems to be perfect but it isn't. You get bullied, but no one sees it. You hide your feelings until one day it gets really bad

A/n: just thought of this in bed, I'm feeling a lil insecure myself so i hope you girlies get warm fuzzies at this cute lil fic (I haven't proof read this yet so- if there's any mistakes pretend I'm an amazing speller 🥰)

Warnings: none just fluff really. Reader is insecure about body, so maybe if it triggers you or you don't want to cry or I dunno, just thought I'd mention :) kinda angst??? But also not-? Body shaming-? (Do not condone whatsoever. But I relate a tiny bit- sadly- anyways)

Masterlist

You enjoyed days like these, the sunshine kisses your beautiful bronze skin, the slight tan arising from the beautiful summer air. You were currently attending to your garden, listening to all the critters making their pretty musical songs. When you get a tap on your shoulder startling you. You stand up and look to find your girlfriend, Ellie looming over you. You get up fanning out your skirt from any dirt. "Sorry angel. Didn't mean to give you a fright." You smile at her. "No no it's alright." You speak softly going to kiss her. "What have you got planned for today?" She swipes a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

"Just picking out some flowers for my new vase." You smile brightly at her. She returns that smile, looking around at your garden. "How about you Els." You ask going to grab some of the flowers and heading inside. "Me, Dina, Jesse, and a few others were going to go out later and ofcourse I'm asking you to tag along." You weren't a very outgoing person, you kept to yourself. You knew Jesse and Dina, although you aren't one hundred percent comfortable around them. You stuck close to Ellie, always. She was your rock. "Uhhh maybe." You go over to your sink, her following close behind. "You'll be with me baby I'll make sure everything's ok."

You contemplate. "Maybe Els. I dunno I'm not use to New people." She goes closer to you. "I know I know, but I really want you there. Please?" You think more, really not sure. "I guess it couldn't hurt." You smile slightly. She smiles more. "Awesome I'll come pick you up later." She kisses your cheek, leaving you to your thoughts as she leaves out the door. You didn't have a good feeling about this.

Few hours had passed and it was almost the time Ellie was suppose to pick you up. You were just looking in the mirror you constantly wore skirts and cute blouses. You examined your body, your stomach, thighs, arms. Even if you aren't big or anything you still feel awful about your body. Stretch marks, your pale skin. You wanted to cry. If you were completely honest you just wanted to stay home. But seeing Ellie so happy made you happy. You get up to a knock on the door, going and opening it. "You look beautiful." She says smiling at you. Lies. You knew she was just being kind. You never really believed her when she'd compliment you. You just couldn't.

"Where are we going?" She leads you out. "Dinas, she's having it at hers." "And how many people will be there?" You ask nervous. "Uhh maybe like 10 at most." You sigh. She was so outgoing, so enthusiastic, knew everyone and anyone. You don't know what she even saw in you. You were so different. "We don't have to be there for long." She nods with a tiny smile. You nod back. Still not even wanting to leave in the first place. Your bed sounds so much more comfortable right now.

Once you're at Dinas, she greets you by the door. "Hey you two, come in." You both step inside hearing some music and voices. You stay close behind Ellies tall figure like a puppy dog. "Thanks Dee." She smiles at Dina, going into the kitchen to get a drink. You kept on following, when some giggling girls walking past, caught your attention. One looked you up and down. And definitely not in a good way. They all walk on by grabbing their own drinks. You felt queasy. "So we could just chill in here, maybe dance." You just nod along to her words. This was going to be a long night.

You had just told Ellie you needed to use the bathroom, heading down a hallway, full of drunk teens. The smell was putrid, some even making out. Once you approached the bathroom you notice the same girl from earlier and her little group. You decide on whether or not you should speak up, or hold this unbearable pee until you get home. "U-uhm.. excuse me.." Your voice was weak, frightened of these strangers. "Oh I'm sorry, did you say something?" The main one spat. One of her friends snickering. "I need to use the bathroom.." You didn't want to make eye contact. You couldn't.

"Sorry but you might want to speak up. Can't quite hear you when you talk like a toddler." You go silent. "Still can't hear you." She smirks. You really don't know what to do. Should you leave? "Well come on, spit it out. And this time, try not to speak like a my little pony character." Its the way you caught onto what she was saying right away. That made you want to run, but you felt glued, like you couldn't. "Aren't you Ellie Williams girlfriend?" You look at the blonde infront of you. "U-uh yeah." You stutter. "Pft, I have no idea what she sees in you. She could do way, better." Her friends laugh yet again. "I mean come on, you follow her around like a lost dog. Think that lil bit you did just then was the first time I've heard you speak." You go to leave, just wanting to go home.

But she grabs your wrist. "Oh look girls, she's even the size of a toddler." She fake pouts as they giggle. You hated how tiny your wrists were. You hated it. You hated how small your hands were. You never held Ellies hand, you were afraid she'd view you differently. "Damn, do you even eat." You blink at her. You ate perfectly fine. You don't even know why you look like this. "I- i-" She let's go. "Y-you." She mocks with a snicker. "Go back to being a lil follower to your girlfriend. You pathetic twig." You felt tears threatening to spill at any moment now. And all you could do was run. "Careful you might break something!" She calls out, turning to laugh with her friends. Bitches.

You ran out of that horrid house, tears streaming down your face, sprinting to yours. Feeling your eyes blur as you slam your door and sink to the floor. You let it all out now. How can someone be so cruel. But oh they were so incredibly right. That's why it hurt so much. They saw what you saw. The truth. Suddenly there was a banging on the door to be found with Ellies worried voice. "Babe, open up please." You sniffle. "J-just go home Ellie.." There was a pause. "You know damn well I'm not doing that, please let me in." Your shakey frame moves out of the way to let her in.

"Hey hey whats going on with you-" She goes to reach for your arms but you immediately make sure that doesn't happen. She feels her heart break. "Y-you don't wanna touch that.." She furrows her brows in utter confusion. "Baby what are you on about." If she wasn't worried before she really fucking is now. "No.. you- you don't wanna be with some twig wh-who can't even talk to people properly." You sob out feeling your body ache. "Babe where is this coming fro-" You look at her. "My brain. Everyone, you-" She shakes her head. "Woah woah woah. Calm down, I don't know what's going on but you need to breathe." You cry more. "I- I can't.. my brain won't shut up, I'm ugly Ellie i- I am.. and everyone sees that."

She was shocked but that slowly turns into a tiny giggle. She moves closer to you grabbing your face gently. "Do you have any idea how naturally gorgeous you are." You look at her still feeling tears. You know she's caught on. "Whoever said these things are clearly big fucking cunts." You were shocked by the language she used, but you let out a tiny dry laugh, feeling your throat and eyes hurt from the crying. "And if it's who I think it is, there's one thing they need that you don't." You listen, wondering what that was. "They need makeup. You don't. And that is something you should be truly proud of." You melt at her lovely words. She rubs her thumb under your eye gently. Wiping away those pesky tears.

"Your natural beauty is my favorite thing in this whole world, so please. Never change. And it's not like you're unhealthy. You eat often and good. When they're over there, eating crap, getting sick. If anything they're the ones who should be vividly insecure. And they are, jealousy." She looks at every inch of your face admiringly. "Bitches." You blurt out making her smile so big. "Yeah, bitches." She kisses your nose. "Please never change because I fell inlove with my natural sweet baby. You're beautiful just the way you are angel. And I will remind you every single day. I'll kiss everything you don't like. And I'll do that everyday." You lean up on your tiptoes to kiss her. She kisses back sweetly.

"Why don't we get into bed and watch a movie, sound good?" You nod at her. "I love you Els." "I love you too my precious girl."

A/n: If you are struggling with your insecurities please know you're never alone in that and I hope this made you realize how everyone's perfect in their own way. I may not see that all the time in myself. But I do know my worth <3 (also not saying that makeups horrible I literally wear it often, but no one needs it to truly feel pretty. I enjoy doing it because it's fun!)

[rayslittlekitten]

Can I?

A/N: Okay y'all. It's here, it's done. Y'all voted on this a while back and it was a bit challenging as I made the mistake of starting to write it with Will in mind so I had to make adjustments, but I think I figured it out. Thank you so so much to @musings-of-a-rose for taking a look at this for me. You are a doll!

Rating: E (18+ ONLY)

Word Count: 6,033

Pairing: Benny Miller x BFF! F! Reader

Plot: A night of unexpected events occur when you and your best friend innocently test out sex toys you had drunkenly purchased for shits and giggles.

WARNINGS: This is the first fic I am NOT including warning tags because I don't want to spoil anything. There's nothing typically potentially triggering like dark stuff (i.e. CNC) but still I wanted to keep it a mystery going in. SO PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Your friends were supposed to watch the fight with you tonight but they had bailed with some excuse or two except for your best friend. You thought that his brother would at least still be joining as they usually do everything together - like you wouldn’t be surprised if you found out they hold each other’s dicks while the other pisses - but it’s just going to be you and him tonight. Instead of going to the bar like originally planned, you both decided to pick up a case of beer and hang out at your place. It’s cheaper and less crowded. 

There’s a rap at your apartment door and you go to open it. As expected, it's your best friend with the supply.

“Hey, Benny! Just in time!”

"Hey, you got a package," Benny says as he hands you the beer. He bends down to pick up the small brown box off the floor by your door. "What did you order?"

"I have no idea what that is," you reply as you make your way over to the kitchen to stick it in the fridge. "I don't remember ordering anything. Where does it say it's from?"

"The return address just says Warehouse, in Ohio," he replies, inspecting the non-descript package and following you further into your apartment after shutting the door behind him.

He hands you the cardboard box before taking his jacket off and making himself at home. You rip open the package and after seeing the contents, you laugh out loud.

"What's so funny?" he asks, walking closer to you.

"This was a drunk purchase. I totally forgot about these!" You reach in to pull out the items and show him your new purchases.

"What are those?" He looks perplexed.

“This one is a vibrator I keep seeing on Instagram, but it's supposed to be like, amazing," you answer.

"How the hell are you supposed to use that?" He takes one of the packages from you and inspects it, looking at the pictures on the box.

"Well, one way you can use it is you insert this side into your pussy and this part is supposed to sit on your clit," you point and explain to him. "It also comes with a detached remote so someone else can control it.

"I don't know if that's a terrible time or a great time."

"The vibration is supposed to be very powerful but quiet," you add. "Supposed to be discreet. They try to sell it by showing women supposedly wearing it in public under their clothes without anyone apparently knowing and their partner has control of it and she's like losing her shit."

"I'm curious now."

"For science!" You declare as you snatch the package from him. You start opening it up and pull the contents out. "Shit, it needs AAA batteries. TV remote!"

You head to the living room and he follows you. You take the batteries out of your TV remote and shove them into the new toy. After turning it on, it buzzes lightly in your hand, moving subtly.

"Let's see how crazy it can get." You start playing with the buttons until it goes up to the highest setting and Ben's eyes get wide as saucers watching it flop around in your palm, practically jumping out of your hand.

"Jesus Christ!" Benny hops back.

"Yeah, now imagine that between your legs."

"I'm not sure I want to. Looks like it would scramble all the sperm inside my balls. Besides, I don't think it was made for my body parts," he points out.

"You just don’t have an imagination," you jab. "Hmm, should we test drive it?" you suggest as you shut it off.

“What do you mean?" he asks curiously.

"See if the hype is real," you answer. "Especially that other one." You point to the other toy that's still in its package.

"That one's supposed to feel like your clit is actually getting sucked on."

"I didn't even know such toys exist," he confesses. 

"There are soooo many sex toys out there, you don't even know. Why don't you go get us some cold ones while I figure these out?" you suggest.

"You really wanna do this?” He checks again.

"Yeah, why not? It's not like we have anything else better to do except watch two grown men beat each other up," you state. “Come on, this isn’t any different than the time we accidentally found Will’s porn stash and you got a boner.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t jerk off.”

“You totally did. Not in front of me, but you were not discreet when you snuck off to the bathroom with one of his magazines to ‘take a shit’,” you look at him knowingly.

“Okay, fine,” he shrugs and adjusts his forward-facing cap. “You have a point.” He heads back into the kitchen to grab some beer.

When he comes back with two opened bottles in hand, he finds you reading the manual and reviewing the other toy.

"So how exactly are we testing these?" he asks, settling down next to you on the couch and taking a gulp of his beer.

"Well, I'm not gonna stick it down my pants if that's what you're thinking. Would that be too weird?” You scrunch your nose while looking over at your best friend who looks just as clueless.

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking. It ain't going down my pants. No amount of alcohol is gonna get that to happen."

"Okay, I didn't think this through. I mean, I guess we can just test it on our arms or something," you shrug cluelessly, thinking of the first thing that comes to mind and then going back to the manual.

"How would that work?" Benny asks as he takes the remote sitting next to him, inspecting it.

As you begin to answer, he starts randomly pressing buttons and you shriek, jumping in your seat. Benny also jumps back, spilling some of his beer as he reacts to your sudden outburst.

"What the hell?!" He looks over to you.

You instantly reach for the vibrator that happened to be sitting between your legs, snug against the front of your pants and toss it at him. Benny tries to dodge it like it's a dead cockroach, but it lands on his lap and he immediately launches himself off the couch. The vibrator continues to bounce around the cushion of the couch until Benny finally shuts it off.

"What the hell was that, man?" Benny looks over at you.

"It was between my legs when you turned it on, you ass!"

“Well, what the hell was it doing there? You said you weren't gonna test it that way."

"I wasn't! It just happened to be there while I was reading on how to operate the other one. Why'd you turn it on?" You shoot back.

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing!" He shouts. "This shit is like rocket science! How do you women even use these things?"

"Men use them too," you correct him. 

“Well, clearly I never have," he admits and returns to his seat, flicking the vibrator towards you to make room for himself.

"You're such a prude. It's not like I was wearing it," you say, grabbing it away from him.

"I'm not a prude! You freaked out so I freaked out." He takes another gulp of his beer.

"Whatever," you mumble, still feeling a bit flustered and embarrassed by what had happened. You turn your attention back to the other toy. 

"Wait, you've never used any sex toys before?" you shift your attention back to him.

"Nope," he shakes his head.

"Not even with a partner?" You raise a brow.

"Well, one time this girl wanted to make things interesting and suggested a dildo, but it wasn't for her," he starts. "She wanted to stick that up my ass and I was not about that. Especially not after what I had for lunch that day."

"Aww, no peggy for Benny?" you exaggerate a pout.

"Hey, you should think twice about who you're poking fun of.” He shows you the remote in his hand and turns it back on, spooking you when the vibrator goes off between you and Benny.

"Okay, you're having too much fun with that." You reach over to grab the remote from him but he moves it away from your reach. 

You lean in further, but his long arm prevents you from getting access to it. At this point, you’re practically climbing on top of him. 

“You’re right. This is fun,” he laughs.

When you get close, he transfers the remote to his other hand so you shift yourself but lose your balance, landing back on the still-on vibrator. You shriek and Benny laughs at you. He turns the setting to the highest as you try to get away from it in your awkward position.

"Benny! You can't just go from 1 to 100 instant—" You finally roll off of it and give yourself a moment. With your eyes closed and teeth digging hard into your lower plump lip, you try to get yourself together.

“Are- are you okay?” Benny asks as his laugh dwindles. “Did you have an orgasm or something?” he jokes.

“No…” you start. “But maybe I almost did - maybe!”

His laugh finally dies, but a smirk remains on his face.

“Seriously?!” His eyes grow wide, turning his body towards you.

“That toy is no joke,” you point to it still wriggling on the couch. “And now I really wanna know what it can do.”

Benny shuts it off and his eyes shuttle between the toy and you.

“Uh… like, now?” He questions.

You stare at him for a few seconds, contemplating. 

“That would be weird, right?” You ask with a squinted eye. “Never mind, forget it—”

“Have at it,” Benny interrupts. “Now I wanna see what this thing can do, too.”

“Really?” You ask with a raised brow, surprised.

“Yeah, like you said, what else is there to do? For science!” He brings up his beer bottle to celebrate it.

“Dork,” you chuckle, snatching the toy.

“Also, maybe I can learn a thing or two from it,” he replies. “Not that I need any help in that department, but I’m always open to learning new things,” he adds.

You roll your eyes.

“Hey, I’m a fighter and a lover. And I’m great at both,” he winks. 

“Are you done stroking your own ego?” You look at him, unimpressed.

“I’m sorry. Yes, you can go on to stroke yourself,” he answers, trying to keep a straight face but ends up cracking a smirk.

“You’re so dumb,” you roll your eyes again and try not to crack your own.

“But I gotta be the one in control.” He holds up the remote in his hand.

“Benny-“

“I may never have the opportunity to ever do this again,” he says. “Besides, isn’t it what makes this fun? Someone else controlling it?”

You stare back at him and think about it.

“Okay, fine, but-“ you point a finger at him.

“I promise I won’t go from zero to 100, okay? Scout’s honor.” Benny brings his three middle fingers up.

“You weren’t a boy scout,” you point out.

“Fuck you. I was one for like a month,” he corrects you. “So are we doing this or what?”

“Turn around,” you tell him.

“What? I can’t watch?”

“Not watch me put this on. Turn around,” you repeat.

He rolls his eyes and turns his whole body around so the back of his head is facing you. You keep an eye on him as you wrangle your jeans and slip the toy inside you until it fits snug. Benny takes a sip of his beer as he waits patiently. He hears you fumbling around and finally you tell him he can turn back around.

He turns to face you and he looks confused.

“What?” You ask him.

“You have it on? Under your jeans?”

“Yes. I wasn’t gonna let it all hang out willy-nilly,” you tell him. “If you don’t believe me, turn it—“

Before you can finish your sentence, Benny flips the switch and you seize up. He can’t hear it, but your reaction confirms you have it in. He watches you as you stay still and quiet for a few moments.

“Can I up the speed?” He asks.

“Is this the lowest setting?” You calmly shoot back.

“Uh, yeah I think so.” He looks down at the remote to see if there’s any indication.

“Okay, go up one notch. One!” You glare at him.

“Okay, here we go.” He turns it up and you twitch.

You start shifting around in your seat until you feel the vibrator is in optimal position.

“How many speeds does this thing have again?” You ask out loud, reaching for the instruction manual and scanning it. “TEN?”

“Well, here’s number three,” Benny says as he ups the speed.

“Ben— ohhhhh…” Your scolding got cut short when the vibrator starts to really hit the right spots. 

The tip of the dildo part tickles your g-spot as the outer part flickers over your clit. You close your eyes and bite your lower lip, trying to concentrate and keep your composure.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you mumble.

“Uh… how are you doing?” He asks, not sure what else to do.

“I’m… “ you freeze up for a quick second and then relax, letting out a heavy breath. “Jeeeesus,” you hiss.

Benny remains quiet as he watches you slightly gyrate against the couch. You close your legs together and cross your knees, trying to recalibrate yourself for the ideal position. He notices your breathing has gotten heavier.

“Higher?” He asks quietly, afraid to interrupt your flow.

“I’m already slipping all around,” you answer without opening your eyes, almost forgetting you aren’t alone.

“That’s not a no…” he points out.

Your teeth digs even deeper into your lower lip as you contemplate whether you want to chase your impending orgasm or not. You hate that at the current setting, it’s only enough to edge you and need a bit more to get you over the top. 

“Okay,” you finally say. “Do it.”

Benny takes it to number four and you yelp instantly.

"Oh my god," you start giggling. "This is fucking crazy!"

Your thighs tightly clamp together and your back arches off the couch. You throw your head back as your jaw drops open, letting out a silent scream. Your hips rock against the vibrator, trying to get to the finish line.

"I'm not gonna lie. This is getting me hard."

You open your eyes and glance over at him to see him palming the front of his jeans and rubbing himself through the denim as he watches you trying not to lose your shit.

“How close are you?" he asks.

You feel your face get really warm all of a sudden. His baby blues pierce your eyes and you're suddenly feeling more vulnerable than you already are, like you just got caught doing something you shouldn't be doing, but at the same time, it’s kinda hot seeing Benny turned on watching you to the point where he’s quasi-touching himself. Noticing your state of shock, he amps up the vibration and you let out an uncontrolled moan.

"Oh, fuck!“

Your hips buck off the couch as your orgasm comes crashing down on you. You continue to moan as you ride the wave and try to catch the next one, grinding down on the couch. You don’t even care how silly you might look to Ben right now. All your focus is what’s going on between your legs. Suddenly the vibrator gets stronger again.

“Ben, stop! It’s too much!” You shriek.

You’re relieved when the torture stops, but it also feels odd as you feel the residual buzzing between your legs.

“So… how was it?” Benny breaks the silence. “Was it all your hopes and dreams?”

You take a moment to yourself to process the experience before answering.

“This shit is… I don’t think I ever want to experience the highest setting on this thing,” you tell him. “This thing is like a torture device. It feels like I pissed myself.”

You turn to look at him as you catch your breath and you’re reminded that Benny’s having his own fun with this, bringing you back down to earth. He scoots a bit closer to you with his hand still over his crotch. This new tension is clearly mutually felt as you both stare at each other, waiting for the other person to say or do something first. Your eyes ping pong between his face and his crotch, which he is still lazily rubbing.

“So uh… what now?” Benny asks, licking his lips. “Round two?” he brings up the remote still in his hand.

“N-no! No, no! Don’t you dare-“ you reach for the remote again, but he pulls it back behind him.

You chase after it, lunging towards him and end up getting right in his face.

“Benny!” You try again, but pause when you catch him staring at you, his face no more than a few inches away from yours. 

It may be the post-orgasm bliss or the awkward position you both found yourselves in, but you’ve never noticed how easy on the eyes your best friend is. He swallows hard as his eyes scan your face.

“Can… can I kiss you?"  he asks suddenly, leaning in and nudging your nose with his, testing the boundaries.

You lick your dry lips and swallow as you glance down at his mouth, seeing it slowly closing the distance. He ghosts his lips over yours, stopping short of actually putting it on yours, waiting for your permission. You answer his question by closing the gap, slotting your mouth over his.

He kisses back, gently at first, matching your energy. When you slip your tongue into his mouth, he cups your face and returns the gesture. You’re both now devouring each other as he turns his body towards you to get into a more comfortable position, adjusting himself to accommodate the bulge in his jeans.

You both continue to make out with more urgency. Benny’s hands start cautiously exploring your body, placing a hand on your waist at first. It wanders down to your hip and he gives it a squeeze. Your own hands start roaming Benny’s body, touching his hard chest first. His warmth is welcoming, making you twist your body and lean into him. Feeling bold, Benny’s hand wanders to your thigh, his fingers brushing the inside, but far from your wet patch. 

“Can I touch you down there?” He mumbles between kisses while moving his mouth to the side of your face and down your neck.

“Wha-“ You let out a loud sigh when you feel his soft wet tongue on the side of your neck, shivering when he grazes a sensitive spot.

“Can I touch you down there?” Ben repeats, pulling back, his lust-filled eyes looking down into yours.

His fingers barely scrapes your inner thigh, but you feel the jolt of his touch travel up to where the vibrator is still sitting.

“Please?” He squeaks out as his fingers travel up higher and his breathing gets heavier, matching yours.

Even though the vibrator isn’t on, it still brushes against your clit every time you shift and it’s only making you want Benny more, to help you get some relief. Even though you’ve already cum, you are hornier than ever right now.

You simply nod before capturing his mouth again. You moan into his mouth when you feel his hand cupping you, rubbing small slow circles with his fingers. Your hips twitch when he drags his middle finger up and down the thick seam of your pants that’s pressing directly down the center of the outer part of the vibrator which is sitting directly on your clit. He’s barely putting any pressure, but you’re hypersensitive right now and it feels like torture. 

Now impatient, you start undoing your pants, trying to quickly get them off. You break the kiss to take a few seconds to focus on ridding your jeans. Benny watches you as he palms himself again, touching himself like he did with you. When you finally get your jeans off, tossing it over the couch, you reach into your underwear to remove the bane of your current existence - the vibrator. Without much effort, the vibrator basically falls out of you. It is drenched in your arousal, a thin sticky string still connects you to it. 

It made an audible noise when it slipped out of you, as did Benny. Before you can discard the very used toy, Benny’s hand is back on you, his fingertips teasing the band of your underwear. He keeps dipping further and discovers how slick you really are.

"Jeeeeesus Christ, you weren't kidding. That shit got you so fucking wet," he comments while teasing your opening, slowly dipping his fingertip in, putting light pressure against it but it took no effort to penetrate you.

An audible squelch can be heard when he enters a second finger. You moan, feeling his thick fingers filling you and stroking you inside. He’s definitely reaching places the vibrator couldn’t. He hums watching your face distort when he pushes in further.

Your hand grips his strong forearm, feeling his veins raised and his muscles flexing underneath your palms as he pumps his long fingers in and out of you. The tip of his tongue darts out and licks the corner by his upper lip as he starts curling his fingers up, reaching for that soft spongy spot at the roof of your vagina. Your legs open up wider for him as his fingertips rub your g-spot over and over again. Your senses are heightened watching him watching you with darkened eyes. His thumb starts rubbing your clit as he massages your g-spot and it doesn’t take long for your orgasm to peak. You rock your hips against his fingers as your muscles continually clench and release over his fingers. 

"Holy sh-shit," you tremble, feeling the aftershocks.

He pulls his fingers out, dragging them over your clit along the way, making your body twitch at the sensitivity. 

“I think I made you cum faster than that toy did,” he jokes.

You crack a half smile but you don’t have the brain power to conjure up a verbal response. After a shared moment, he leans in to give you a quick peck on your lips. As he gets up off the couch, Benny takes his cap off to adjust the position of it, switching it backwards before settling between your legs. 

The front of your thin cotton panties are completely drenched through. He can see your outline as the damp fabric clings to your puffy lips. 

“Can I taste you?” 

His puppy eyes peek up from between your legs. Your brain is mush so you simply nod.

He bunches the top of your underwear in his hand and yanks it up, causing it to brush across your clit. Your hips twitch and as he continues to rub the fabric over you, seeing your reaction to it and drawing out the tease. You moan and gyrate your hips when he puts his mouth between your legs over your underwear.  He laps up your juices, licking and sucking as he continues to tug at your panties taut against your dripping cunt, putting pressure on your sensitive nub.

"Ben…" you pant as you push his cap off and run your fingers through his messy dirty blonde hair.

His scruff brushes the insides of your thigh as he continues to eat you out. You gasp when you feel the tip of his tongue breaching your opening, forcing your underwear aside and exposing your core. He puts more pressure with his tongue, slipping in deeper inside you and tasting you. Your hips start rocking against his face, but his tongue can only go so far. He shifts his attention to the swollen bud a little higher, scrunching your panties aside. He circles your clit with the tip before pressing the flat of his tongue and then his mouth over it, hollowing out his cheeks as he sucks hard. Your thighs clamp around his head and his eyes focus on your face as his tongue continues to play your clit like a fiddle. He grips your hips and holds you down.

“F-fuck…” your breathing becomes irregular as your orgasm builds.

With his mouth still attached to you, he slips his finger inside you to try to find that spot again. You thrust against his face when you feel your third release breaching. Benny intensifies his sucking and fingering, feeling you clench around him. You cry out when the dam breaks and you convulse around him. He doesn’t stop until you still. As you’re coming down from your high, body slouched from being spent, he withdraws his fingers and licks them clean.

“So you wanna try that other toy now to see how it compares to the real thing?” He asks as he stands up and wipes his mouth.

He was right about him not needing any help in the bedroom department. You can barely form words right now. Never in a million years would you think your best friend can eat pussy like an expert. Taking from his brother who he regularly competes with, he always strives to be the best in everything he does, but this is on a whole different level. And now he wants to use another toy on you? You don’t think anything can top what he just did to you.

"W-what?" you ask cluelessly, still recovering the most mind blowing oral sex you have ever received. 

Your eyes follow him as he reaches for the suction toy to show you. He tries to figure out how to turn it on as he kneels down, returning between your legs.

"You gotta help me out here--"

He's suddenly interrupted when you grab his face and smash your lips against his, tasting yourself. He abandons the toy somewhere and moves up to the couch next to you. You reposition yourself to straddle his lap as you continue to make out. As your hands wander down to the buttons of his jeans, he grabs your ass, squeezing them in his large hands. 

When you successfully get his jeans undone, he lifts his hips and helps you pull down his bottoms until he springs free. You look down and reach for his thick cock, warm and soft to the touch. You jerk him as he’s already hard as a rock. Your thumb brushes the underside of his head.

“Fuck,” he hisses.

Now it’s your turn to torture him. You slide off his lap and on to the floor, kneeling between his knees. Once in a comfortable position, you grab his length, licking a trail from the base to the tip, maintaining eye contact the entire time. When you get to the top, you wrap your lips around him, wetting the head a bit before inching down to taste the rest of him. Your tongue swirls around his smooth and salty skin, lubricating him as you bob up and down.

“Shhhhit…” He throws his head back against the couch.

Feeling frisky, you try to deep throat him and he grasps within arms reach whatever he can as he groans. He looks over when a hand grabs something unfamiliar to him. It’s the vibrator and an idea comes to his mind.

“Wait,” he reluctantly stops you.

You pause and see him holding up the vibrator.

“Put this on while you suck me. I think it’ll be fun.”

You look at the vibrator for a moment and then back at him.

“I promise I won’t put it so high,” he reassures you.

“Fine,” you agree and you take it from him and slip it inside you, orienting it the right way. “You try anything and I’ll bite your dick off,” you warn, drawing a small chuckle out of Ben.

You get back into the position you were in before and put your mouth back on him. As you go back to sucking him, you yelp when Benny turns the vibrator on at a low speed. The noise you made sent a delightful vibration down his cock, making it twitch. He turns it up a notch and your hips move against the vibrator. You start moving up and down on him a little faster, stroking the base where your mouth can’t reach. You deepthroat him again until you gag, but you keep on going, sending your spit dripping down his cock and lubing him up.

“You look so fucking hot,” Benny pants.

His breathing is getting more labored. His hips jerk up and he places a hand on the back of your head. He’s not putting any pressure, but he fists your hair. He doesn’t pull on it, just moves with you as you fuck him with your mouth. You start quickening your pace feeling the vibrator getting stronger, trying to match it. Feeling the beginning of an orgasm forming, you rock your hips and suck him harder.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he warns you.

Not changing your rhythm, you watch him come undone as he pops in your mouth. He thrust into your face as his moans echo in the small space and grasps the remote in his hand, accidentally jumping it up another level, but it’s what you needed to push you over the edge. You grind against the toy as you moan with him still deep inside your mouth. He spills out of the corner of your mouth as his hips slow down.

When he stills, you suck him clean and swallow the load that remained in your mouth. You reach down to pull the vibrator off and toss it onto his lap. Benny jumps in his seat and shuts it off. You wipe the corner of your mouth and chin with the back of your hand as you get up off your knees. He looks back at you with tired eyes as he tries to catch his breath, cock twitching. You squeal when he grabs your wrist and pulls you into his lap, careful with his half hard cock. You straddle his lap and he kisses you, his tongue thrusting into your mouth, tasting a bit of himself. The two of you lazily make out for a bit until Benny pulls back. You lick your lips and smile, looking down at him.

“We should start making this a regular thing, ya know. The toy testing,” Benny suggests, breaking the awkward silence and lightening the mood.

“Well, I do have a dildo I haven’t tried yet,” you half-joke.

He looks back at you with narrow eyes.

“You’re not putting that in my ass,” he states.

“Not what I was thinking,” you chuckle as you shake your head. “I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to be double penetrated,” you explain.

Benny stares at you with a blank expression, but you see his semi twitch in your peripheral. 

“Gi-give me maybe fifteen minutes—“ he finally says, pointing to his softening cock.

“Whoa! Hold it there, cowboy,” you stop him. “Why don’t we just think on that? Besides, I don’t have any condoms or lube for that to happen.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure,” he shrugs. “I-I had a good time, if that’s what you were wonder—“

You silence him with a tender kiss before grabbing the vibrator to remove the batteries and toss them at him.

“I’m gonna clean up. Why don’t you put the fight on? I think It’s starting soon,” you tell him as you dismount him and grab your jeans off the floor while Benny pulls his bottoms back up.

“Look what the guys missed out on. Coulda had an orgy,” you joke.

“If everyone showed up, we’d be at a bar,” he points out, then swishes some beer inside his mouth.

“Fair. Okay, a Miller sandwich then,” you switch it up.

Benny chokes on his beer.

“Kidding!” You chuckle awkwardly. “Kinda. Sorry, you probably don’t wanna think about you and your brother fucking the same person at the same time,” you snort before finally heading to the bathroom.

When you get back, you find Benny putting his phone away and relaxing on the couch like he was before any of the sexy stuff had happened, with the TV on. The awkwardness returns. He hands you your beer as you sit down next to him, settling in. You both quietly watch the fight as it starts, but you steal glances at each other every now and then. At one point, you do a double take.

“Dude, are you smelling your fingers?” You look at him incredulously.

“What? I washed them, but I can still smell you.”

You grimace at him.

“Don’t look at me like that. You smell good,” he shrugs. “It’s actually getting me hard again.”

You watch him adjust himself. The both of you stare each other down, trying to read each other until a knock on your door breaks the trance.

“Who the hell is that?” You ask, but Benny shrugs.

You get up to open the door and find the other Miller brother on the other side.

“Hey, sorry I’m late! I had trouble finding parking. Did the fight start already?”

You look back at him confused.

“Uh… are you gonna let me in?” Will asks. “I brought goodies.” He shows the case of beer and grocery store bag in his hand with a party sized bag of chips peeking out.

“Sorry, I just thought you weren’t coming,” you tell him while letting him in.

“I texted Benny telling him plans changed last minute. Did he not get it?”

“Uh, I-I don’t know. He didn’t tell me anything.” You lead him into the living room where Benny almost looks surprised.

“Did you not tell her I’m coming?” Will asks his brother.

“Oh, sorry, forgot. I was uh, a little preoccupied,” he apologizes.

Will looks at both you and Benny suspiciously. 

“It smells… interesting in here,” he comments, his eyebrows furrow with curiosity.

“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry Will. Let me take that from you.” You quickly change the subject, taking the bag and beer out of his hands.

“Wait-” Will starts.

“Get comfy. I’ll bring you back a cold beer,” you tell him before whisking away.

You stick the beer in the fridge and when you remove the party sized tortillas to pour some into a bowl, you notice some unexpected items in the bag. You take them out for a closer inspection and your eyes widen at the bottle of lube and a box of condoms. Maybe he bought these before his initial plans got changed.

You shrug, throw them back into the bag and return to the living room with a bowl of chips, cold beer and the grocery bag of personal items. When you walk into the living room, the brothers turn their attention to you, eyeing you like they’re expecting something other than the beer and chips. You look back at them suspiciously as they’re both very laxed and spread out on the couch on each end, leaving a space for you in between. As you walk over and settle in next to them, their gaze follows you.

“Here Will, I think these are yours,” you hand him a beer and his bag of items.

He takes them from you as he smirks.

“Thanks. So,” Will turns his body towards you. “Benny tells me you’re curious about some DP action.”

You almost drop the bowl of chips in your hands. Will is usually very reserved and diplomatic so you’re a bit shocked at how straight forward he is right now. You glare at your best friend who shrugs helplessly.

“I had to tell him what he missed out on.”

You glower your eyes at Benny, but then put two and two together, your focus now bouncing between the two brothers and realize that no one is probably going to watch this fight tonight.

[uraichievents]

UraIchi Week 2024

Monday, July 1st, 2024 - Sunday, July 7th, 2024

AO3 Collection

Full Prompts List Submitted This Year

(Click images to enlarge. Alt text under the cut.)

What is UraIchi Week?

It’s a week-long fanworks event to promote the Urahara Kisuke x Kurosaki Ichigo ship. There’s no sign-up, it’s just for fun, and everybody can participate. Completed works and wips are both acceptable, and any type of fanwork (fanfic, fanart, gifsets, etc.) is welcome. NSFW and/or potentially trigger-y content is allowed, although please remember to tag your works properly.

The ship itself can be written romantically or platonically, as lovers or friends or even enemies, so long as it stars these two characters together in some way. Poly ships are also fine so long as Ichigo and Kisuke are still the focus of the fanwork. And crossovers and fusions are also allowed even if it isn’t one of the given prompts for the event. Basically, anything goes, and the only criteria is that it has to be UraIchi-centric.

Posting:

UraIchi Week is hosted here on Tumblr and on AO3. For posts on Tumblr, remember to ping @uraichievents and tag #UraIchi Week 2024. For AO3, you can add your work(s) to the collection linked up above. You are also welcome to join the UraIchi Discord server if you haven’t already and come and talk about what you’re working on!

Themes:

July 1st, Day 1: i've met you before / i'll meet you again / this is the first time we've met.. right?

Time Travel / Dimension Travel

Identity Porn / Hidden Identities

“I've suffered from traumatic dreams of my past lives since I was a child, and I'm just now realizing that coming up to a beautiful stranger who looks like someone I've seen die a thousand times in a thousand different ways at a bar and asking if we've met before sounds a lot like a come-on haha no wait come back that doesn't mean I'm not desperately attracted to you please kiss me again” AU

July 2nd, Day 2: It's fact that killable problems are not real problems.

Murder Husbands

Ichigo is Deadpool / unbreakable / any other accidentally immortal being who is really kind of annoyed about it (because it’s boring, and he’s still young enough to be within his lifespan, but it sure takes the fun out of fighting).

All the times Ichigo died, he ACTUALLY died, he just came back. Every time he comes back, he comes back Wronger.

July 3rd, Day 3: Things I Should've Told You / Things I Don't Tell Anyone Else

The skeletons in your closet are about to overflow. Would you like me to tidy it up?

Ichigo is experimenting with self-expression, a hobby, etc., making up for lost time as a regular teenager. Urahara is always the first one (sometimes only one) to see or hear about a new idea.

“The person I trust most is you.”

July 4th, Day 4: Sword and Shield

I am yours to command, use me as you please.

Shiba!Ichigo and Second Division!Kisuke

Summoner/Mage AU: Paired summons who are good apart but unmatched together.

July 5th, Day 5: That One is Mine

Hollow Instincts / Feral Protective

Possessive!Kisuke: He stepped aside for Sui-Feng because Yoruichi was always master first and friend second and love interest never, and because Yoruichi wanted her in a way she's never wanted him. But Ichigo is different, and everyone soon realizes that when Kisuke truly wants something, he always gets it in the end.

“Death can’t have you. You’re mine.”

July 6th, Day 6: Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. Some are born, some are made, and some decide being a monster's pretty fucking cool.

Visored!Urahara Kisuke AU / Vasto Lorde!Kurosaki Ichigo AU

“Ichigo forges a friendship with his Hollow in the Shattered Shaft” AU

vs. Gotei 13 AU: Ichigo time travels back from a future where he was chained to the throne as the next Soul King by the Shinigami.

July 7th, Day 7: Creator’s Choice!

As always, the above prompts are all optional, and you’re free to come with your own ideas. You can also find an excel sheet with all the prompts submitted this year linked up above, so feel free to look through that if you want, and you can also make a copy for yourself.

And that’s it! We’re looking forward to what everyone comes up with!

[hearts-hunger]

Welcome to the 2023 GVF Fic Writers Halloween Event! Prompts are below the cut, but first, some info about this very spooky affair.

٭ The rules are simple: pick a prompt from the list below and write a fic about it! The prompts range from particularly Halloween-y to just general autumnal vibes, and you're welcome to riff off any of them in any way you choose. On your post, please note which prompt (or prompts) you picked for your fic!

٭ This event is open to all GVF writers, whether you're a seasoned vet or a first-time writer! If you're a reader, show your love for GVF writers by liking their fics, reblogging them, and commenting in the reblog or even just in the tags. All fics from this event will be reblogged by me and added to a masterlist that will be linked in my bio!

٭ Fics can be written for any and all pairings — x reader, slash, platonic, x oc, multi, whatever you like! It's also open to any length fics (blurbs, oneshots, series) and all genres, from vampire sexy to candy sweet to scary movie spooky and everything in between. Please make sure to clearly tag any potential triggers in your fic — we want this event to be accessible and fun for everyone. Please also use a readmore in any fics that are longer than blurb length, just to keep the dash tidy.

٭ Absolutely no negativity will be tolerated, whether from readers, writers, or anyone else. This is a community-building event, and if you're not here to have fun and be kind to others, don't be here at all.

٭ Tag your fics with #gvfhalloweenfics. To make sure I don't miss your fic, please tag me (@hearts-hunger) so I can reblog your fic and add it to the masterlist!

٭ The deadline is technically October 31st, but I'm happy to add fics to the masterlist any time before or after Halloween if your creative energy is grooving or lagging. You can also write as many fics as you want!

٭ Now that I've talked your ear off, let me say one last thing before we get to the prompts: my asks (with anon) and dms are always open for any questions about this event! Please reblog this post to get the word out, and tag any writers you think might be interested! Happy writing, and happy Halloween!

1. carnival haunted house 2. real haunted house 3. pumpkin patch 4. apple orchard 5. scary movie night 6. campfire ghost stories 7. baking halloween treats 8. carving pumpkins 9. trick or treating 10. decorating for halloween 11. making costumes 12. putting on halloween makeup 13. halloween bar crawl 14. ghost hunting 15. monster/ghost/witch au 16. county fair 17. halloween party 18. exploring a graveyard 19. adopting a black cat 20. playing with a ouija board 21. buying halloween decor 22. dark magic 23. a walk through the woods 24. cosy coffee date 25. camping trip 26. hay ride 27. local oktoberfest 28. cabin vacation 29. halloween/autumn wedding 30. starting a new halloween tradition 31. fic based on a halloween song

[princemick]

TUMBLR F1BLR RULES!!!

hi, hello and welcome, we've seen what's been happening to twitter and we welcome you to our little corner.

there are however some things that differ from Twitter to Tumblr and so we have some different rules and behaviour then you might be used to!! I'm gonna try to explain them to you in this post! everything is below the tab!

reblog reblog reblog!!! likes do absolutely nothing, and your blog 'aestetic' in reblogs doesn't really matter unless you're a specific aesthetic blog, reblog are the way people see the content. likes are private! so remember to reblog the stuff you see and like!

DO NOT STEAL GIFS/GRAPHICS I WILL COME AFTER YOU!!! always ask if you can use a gif an then ALWAYS CREDIT properly

shipping is, prevalent. shipping even rpf is ingrained into tumblrs culture on every side of it if you dont like it thats a you thing, you can 'blacklist' tags so just add 'rpf' or the shipnames to them and you should be good!

continuing with that idea, curate your own experience is the most important thing on this site, blocking and blacklisting is normal and very much allowed and welcomed. almost no one is going to change how they do or act around here for one person, just unfollow or blacklist.

but do NOT put long posts or x reader fics, anything in the main tag without putting it under a 'read more' tab people will get annoyed by you

followers dont matter!!! no one CARESSS about basically anything this site is wonderfully anonymous and we can't see how many followers anyone has so genuinely no one gives a shit do whatever you want

remember to trigger tag and unlike twitter spell it out completely! so when a crash happens or is talked about make sure to tag it 'tw crash' even with reblogs!! also remember to tag when you're being negative about a driver as 'anti *insert first name*' never do full name then it will show up in their tags which defeats the purpose of anti tagging.

adding to that, use tags! they're one of the best tumblr features its free to be overenthusiastic and excited in the tags BUT the blog you can reblog it from AND the op can also read those tags so keep that in mind!!

be nice! this shud be a given, be nice, let people do their thing and vibe, just support people and block when u you dont vibe with them! when you do wanna send hate asks do it off anon, dont be shy do it on main

and things arnt 'weird' in the same way they are on twitter, this place has no drivers and no public figures so shame is a lot less existent here, you have to get used to that

and lastly as quoted by my anon 'Don't be afraid to be funny or weird be thirsty on main ship the middle aged man no one cares.'

and most of all. HAVE FUN!!! dont be scared to ask people how things work most of us are very okay with answering 'dumb' questions a lot of us have been here for about a decade we know its a confusing platform please ask away!

[starlitquil]

Protego - Sebastian Sallow x F!Reader

Word Count: 3k

Tags: protective sebastian, aka "I will kill him for what he did to you" sebby

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS: implied assault, blood mentions, leander, leander slander

A secondary trigger warning is placed where certain things begin. Read at your own risk.

-- A/N : Thank you for the love on my first fic! Well okay, first fic posted on tumblr. It means a lot to see my work be appreciated. I love doing subtle x readers, where they're def story driven, like this one, but I have a few in the works that are also purely fluff and more with everyone's favorite Slytherin. Yes the Leander content warning is meant to be slander. I do not like him but can not explain why. I just wanna throttle him. He just? Fills me with unbridled rage?? AnYWAY

Also! I'm going to open my ask box up for requests soon ish, with a post on who I want to write for, and my limitations.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were never one to be late or not make notice that you would be. Sebastian had sat waiting for you near the lake by the castle, where you had planned to meet for a study session and, a more private, lunch together. The man knew you too well. Something was up. If you had to cancel plans, you'd make sure an owl was sent ahead of time.

Sebastian stood from his sitting position on the blanket he had laid out, making quick work of cleaning up everything he had laid out. He ran back to the castle, floo flaming across it's expanse in search of you. Finally, he darted through the clock tower, finding you on unconscious and bloodied, hidden away in a corner. Your robe was discarded and nowhere to be found, your vest and shirt torn open on the back from a clear shot of diffindo. You back was still bleeding, a small pool had formed on the wood beneath you.

Sebastian made hasty but gentle work of flipping you over, gasping and looking away from your unbuttoned vest and shirt. He unbuttoned his own cloak and layed it over your indecent form, gently picking you up bride style. Your body was limp in his arms, and his heart pounded in his chest as he speed walked to the nearest floo flame, and made haste to the hospital wing.

He was so careful with you, watching your face as he trudged into the hospital wing.

"Nurse! Please!" he cried anxiously, tears welling in his eyes. The nurse hurried over, assessing the situation.

"What happened?" she asked, looking between Sebastian and your limp form. "Come, lay her down," she added, gesturing for him to follow.

"I- I don't know! I found her like this. She's hurt, bad." he said, following the nurse. She gestured to an empty bed, and he layed your form down gently, his arm on your back now covered in your blood.

The nurse used a quick spell to flip you over gently, laying you on your stomach. "It's good you got her here when you did, let alone found her when you did. Where was she?" she inquired, looking to the Slytherin.

"Well, she was late to our study session by the lake, and I knew immediately something was wrong," he explained, drawing in a self comforting breath. "She always sends an owl if she'll be late or has to cancel. Anyway, I packed up and searched the whole castle, and found her at the top of the clocktower, hidden away in a private space. She was already like this when I got there, and no trace of anyone else. She was indecent when I flipped her over, so I covered her with my own cloak." Sebastian was speaking quickly, his heart racing from the stress of everything happening.

The nurse gently pushed his shoulders down and towards a chair next to your bed. She handed him a glass of water and a stern look, and he nodded, taking his time to drink the glass.

"I'll need to do some work on her. You can wait here, but I'll be moving privacy screens," said the nurse, who offered him a look of sympathy. She could easily gather that the two of you were close, inseparable even, and knew just how it felt to be in Sebastian's place. "I promise you can stay with her after I'm done. I'll even allow you to be excused from the rest of your classes for today, and send for a fresh shirt," she added, Sebastian looking down at his stained sleeve.

Sebastian drew in a shaky breath, nodding. "Thank you," he said quietly. Other nurses had made their way to the hospital wing, joining the other behind the privacy screens she had levitated in place.

More time passed the Sebastian cared to keep track of, and was startled out of his thoughts when the privacy screens began to move, revealing your cleaned up and stitched backside, his own cloak floating down and covering the injury.

"She will be just fine, but she had to be made more indecent for us to do our work. I hope you don't mind us using your cloak again," she said plainly, mindlessly taking Sebastian's empty glass.

"Y/N could keep it if she so desired," he said, semi absentmindedly. The nurse smiled and placed a gentle hand on the Slytherin's shoulder.

"Stay with her, okay? Call me if she wakes. We need to get to the bottom of what happened." she said, her eyes meeting with Sebastian's. He nodded quickly, returning his gaze to your unconscious form. Your face was at least turned towards him, so he could watch you easier. He gently slipped his hand into yours, sitting and waiting.

Sebastian didn't know how much time passed. He didn't dare look away from you, keeping a firm gaze upon you for any waking movement. What he did know that it was daytime when he brought you here, and a glance at the window nearby suggested sunset was setting in. Your form made a small noise, bringing Sebastian's gaze back to your face.

Your eyes fluttered open, squeezing back the hand that held yours. Your body ached. But you weren't where you could last remember being. You started to shuffle to move, but Sebastian stopped you, as did the searing pain that caused you to cry out.

"Don't move - let me get the nurse," Sebastian said, rubbing a finger down your cheek as he stood. Nurse? Your vision cleared a little and you recognize the walls and privacy screens of the Hogwarts hospital wing. The nurse and Sebastian were quick to return.

"Glad to see you're awake, dear," her voice came, from somewhere to your left. "How're you feeling?" she asked, making her way into your vision.

"Sore." You stated simply. It hurt to even speak, and breathing stretched the wounds on your back in a painful manner. Sebastian sat back where he was before.

"What happened, dear?" the nursed prodded. You clenched your jaw. "You know I have to ask." she added, seeing the look on your face. It wasn't a pleasant expression, you face had contorted into a combination of fear, anxiety, and dread.

"...May I tell you tomorrow..." you said, after a pause. The nurse simply nodded.

"Sebastian, you may stay here with her tonight." the nurse looked to your companion. "Watch over her, you may take the bed nearest her." Sebastian nodded as the nurse headed off, the night shift nurse coming in to take her place. The two nurses exchanged words neither of you could hear.

"Would you tell me who did this?" came Sebastian's quiet, gentle voice. You shook your head.

"Tomorrow, I promise." you answered, implying by his question someone did do this. His brow furrowed. You reached up in a struggle to place a hand on his cheek, offering him a smile. He put his own hand overtop of yours, turning his head to kiss your palm and smile back down at you.

You fell back asleep quickly, Sebastian kissing your forehead as you did. You could barely make out his figure making his way to the bed nearest yours as you drifted off to sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning you awake to Sebastian's sweet face nearby. He was no longer in the bed he had taken up, but fast asleep in the chair he was in yesterday, head hung as he slept, one of his hands was warm in your own. You squeezed it gently, the freckled man's eyes fluttering open. He smiled at you as he met your eyes, leaning in to plant another warm kiss on your forehead. You felt your face brighten a deep red. Unfortunately for you, you couldn't turn away to hide your blush without pain.

"Good morning, you two," the nurse from yesterday strolled up. "Glad to see you're both awake. Y/N, your wound should be healed enough so that you can flip over and sit up mostly comfortably, if you'd like to try," she mentioned. You nodded quickly. This position was getting uncomfortable, and fast.

"Be a dear and help me Sebastian," she said, hustling over to your other side. The two of them helped you flip over and sit up, with grimaces and gasps of pain. You relaxed into the new position, the pain subsiding for now.

"So," the nurse started, placing her hands on her hips. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" she said, her tone was gentle with a hint of firmness.

"I- I will but... do you have --" your sentence was interrupted by Leander Prewett. Your jaw clenched at the sight of him, the memories from yesterday came flooding back.

"There you are! I'm so glad you're okay!" he said, offering a wide smile. You didn't return the smile, wrapping your arms around your waist. You mustered up all your mental strength not to shake in fear at the sight of the boy, watching him weary eyed as he approached.

He stopped at the foot of your bed, still beaming. You watched his eyes wander to your semi exposed chest, and you made quick work of using Sebastian's cloak to cover yourself.

"I am indecent. Leave me." you said plainly to Leander. Your brow was furrowed in anger, and you eyed him intensely. His smile was quick to fade, your grip on the cloak was so tight your knuckles widened.

"But-"

"I said go!" your voice was raised this time. Sebastian and the nurse shared a look. "You are the last person I want to see," you said harshly, pointing towards the hospital wing entrance.

The nurse wordlessly ushered Leander out, returning to your bedside.

"What did he do to you?" she asked firmly.

"He's the reason I'm here-" you said, your body shaking. Tears burnt at the edge of your vision.

"What!? What did he do?" she pried. "Listen, I know you don't want to open up about it. But as the nurse it is my duty to report all incidents." she said, rubbing your shoulder. You shook your head, shoulders shaking lightly with a sob.

"I have an idea. Stay with her." the nurse looked to Sebastian who only nodded, brow knit close and cold. You knew that face. Sebastian didn't even have to know what Leander did to you. But what he did know is that he would ring his sorry, bastardly neck. You met Sebastian's eyes and reached for him, both arms open to him. He sat down on the edge of your bed and put his arms around you gently, holding you as you cried.

The nurse returned a few minutes later, struggling to carry something that sounded heavy.

"Here. You can show me the memory itself." she said. You pulled away from Sebastian, and a pencieve filled your vision. You nodded quietly, grimacing as you reached for your wand, lifted it to your forehead and drew out a magical strand of energy, tears streaking your cheeks.

"Both of you... please... it's not easy but I need you both to know..." you said, sniffling. You placed the strand of magic in the water, Sebastian standing to walk around the bed and prepare to dip his face into it's depths. The nurse and Sebastian shared a nod, then dipped their heads in.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------.

[TRIGGER WARNING FOR THE UPCOMING SECTION]

The nurse and Sebastian both had found themselves in a private spot in the clock tower. The vision was of you and Leander, talking.

"Y/N, I-" Leander spoke clearly. "I've got feelings for you. Ever since you beat me at summoner's court."

Sebastian felt his blood boil watching the memory. But he knew there was more. You weren't injured yet.

"Oh! I.." you began to reply, unsure of what to say. "I'm flattered but I-" before you could finish speaking, Leander had pulled you in and spun you around, so that you were against the wall. Your breath escaped your lungs as he crashed his lips onto yours.

Leander's hands worked to unbutton your vest and then your top, his hands brushing against your exposed bare chest, palming your breasts.

Before he could go any further, you mustered up what ancient magic you could, and used it to strengthen your arms and push him away. He stumbled backwards, his facial expression turning cross. He pulled out his wand and cast diffindo. Instinctually you turned to dodge, but instead, your breath left your body once more as the magic he cast sliced into your back, knocking you out almost immediately. You collapsed to the floor, Leander running away in your slowly fading vision.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian and the nurse withdrew their faces from the pencieve. The nurse had tears of her own now flowing down her cheeks. "Here, I have a few bottles. Put that same memory in those bottles. The headmasters and the ministry must be made aware." she said, wiping her face and making quick work of gathering the bottles.

Sebastian's face was twisted in a deep anger, his knuckles whitening from his tightening grip on the edge of the pencieve.

"I'll kill him!" he said, voice raised. He was about to turn to leave before you quickly grabbed his hand, wincing at the pain that rippled through your back.

"Sebastian, please." you said quietly, your voice cracking. He stopped in place, not letting go of your hand, his back to you. "I need you hear with me, darling," you said. It was your heartbroken tone that made Sebastian's own heart crack. His shoulders relaxed and he turned back towards you, sitting at the edge of your bed.

"I'm sorry. I'm here." he said, kissing your forehead and cuddling in close to you. The nurse returned with two specially made bottles. You knew just what to do with them. You pulled more strands of magic from your forehead of the memory, bottling it up tight.

"I will ensure the headmasters and ministry both get these as soon as possible. Sebastian, stay with her. The ministry will not let him get away with this, I assure you." she said, patting his shoulder.

Sebastian nodded, resting his head on your shoulder. You rest your head on top of his, kissing the top of his head before doing so.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weeks had gone by, and rumor had spread fast. Not about you, about Leander. A few students had seen him being carted off against his will, being drug by the arms by two older wizards in Ministry attire.

The headmasters had made sure someone saw so you would be aware by word of mouth that he was gone for good, but also so that it was purely about him. What he did was up to speculation, but it was honestly quite entertaining to listen to the various things your classmates came up with.

The headmasters had also called you in to speak with you and state they had a cover story for your injuries, and one that was believable. You made sure it was all your classmates knew.

You and Sebastian walked arm in arm out of one of Hogwart's many exits, making your way to the lake, where you had planned to study at a few weeks ago. You had both missed a good portion of time from class, and needed to catch up, and soon.

You winced a little as you helped Sebastian lay out the picnic blanket, and used levioso to place the food and books he had brought with him.

The afternoon had gone by quick, and the work you had caught up on brought you to the beginning of sunset, the sky a beautiful orange tone.

You giggled at a joke Sebastian made, playfully smacking him in the arm. In reply, he told another insufferable joke, and you walloped him again, this time losing your balance landing on top of him, his breath escaping his body as his back met the ground below him. Your back was healing well, but it still ached in pain.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, and you sat up on your elbows on either side of his head. There was a comfortable silence before you broke out laughing, gazes not breaking from each other.

Your face was a bright red, and so was his. Without even thinking, you put your lips to his, a small gasp of surprise coming from the Slytherin below you, his lips moving to kiss you back. You pulled away quietly, face red with heat.

"Sorry I don't know what came over me!" you were quick to speak. He fidgeted with an arm and put a finger on your lips.

"Don't you dare be sorry, darling," he said, gently dragging his finger down to your chin and pulling you into another kiss. You giggling into the kiss, running one hand through his chocolate curls.

You pulled away again, eyes meeting in another comfortable silence.

"Thank you for being there for me." You said, smiling at the man below you. He smiled back at you.

"It is the least I can do for you, Y/N." Sebastian said knowingly. You replied with a knowing nod.

"I love you, Sebastian Sallow," you said your gaze intense. You didn't even realize what you had said until he reciprocated.

"I love you too, Y/N. You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that, my darling," he replied, leaning up to kiss your forehead.

Your face burned bright, the gears turning in your head.

"What are we now?" you asked, unsure of what else to say.

"Will it make it easier if I ask you out, my darling?" he asked, his charm slipping through. You simply nodded.

"Y/N, will you do me the honor and pride of being my girlfriend?" he asked, smiling at you cheekily. You smiled back at him.

"Yes I will, Sebastian Sallow, forever and always." what you replied was a promise. What he replied was also a promise.

"I will always protect you,'' he replied, pulling you in for another kiss. Your lips moved in sync, his hands rubbing up and down your body gently.

You pulled apart and finally got off the poor chap, wincing lightly as you lay at his side, head on his chest, arm around his torso. One hand of his was on top of your own, the other wrapped around your shoulders.

You would be okay. With him by your side, you would be okay.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

[borderline-culture-is]

Blog introduction post

Who is this blog for?

This blog is for anyone with BPD and/or BPD traits. Other cluster B disorder havers and those without who want to learn are also welcome, although submissions are preferred to be BPD focused.

Why this blog?

I'm not sure what happened to the other BPD culture is blog, but it was either nerfed or deleted, and I haven't seen any sign of return or a new blog, so I decided to make one. If the original account owner didn't want a creation of another one, please tell me!!!

DNI/BYF [do not interact] [before you follow]

Ableists

Proshippers

TERFs/radfems

Anti-recovery peeps

General DNI criteria

Cluster b abuse believers

We accept self-diagnosis.

You can vent, but we may not always know how to respond. We are a person, too.

We will also try to tag triggers accordingly.

Sending asks

Start every ask with "BPD culture is," "BPD traits culture is," "questioning/suspected BPD culture is," or something along those lines.

Extra info under cut

About the mod 🌕🥃

Hello, we're the moonshine collective. Bodily 16 y/o, collectively he/they, traumgenic system. We have BPD and NPD, among other things. Our main blog is @deepmilkshakepeach. If you want to visit it, it also has a masterlist of alters and their sign-offs and blogs.

info posts

sign-offs

FP definition

Splitting definition

BPD and BP

BPD and autism

BPD and C-PTSD

our experience determining BPD self dx

supporting a pwBPD

Misc posts :]!

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

Tags

#bpd culture is - asks and submission posts

#bpd questions - questions about BPD

#bpd information

#bpd positivity

#not bpd culture

Blog boosts

@narcissisticpdcultureis @hpdcultureis @pluralcultureis @aspd-bpd-culture @ppd-culture-is @cluster-b-culture-is

[shinestarhwaa]

I PROMISE || CHOI SAN

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Pairing: San x Fem Reader

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings/tags: Lovers in denial!AU, mentions of suic*de and s*lfharming, mentions of blood, abusive/toxic ex, character death, hospitals, the angst is sad and dramatic af i'm sorry, beach sex, fingering, unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP BUTTERCUP!)

This fic might trigger some people so be careful and read at your own risk! If you struggle with Suic*dal thoughts, please ask someone for help, you are not alone❣️

@anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @star1117-archives @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86

Tell me if u wanna be added to my taglist❣️

ENJOY!

''Why don't you like the beach, Y/N?''

You sighed. You had explained this so many times to people so you always dreaded the conversation. They look at you with warm eyes, a smile. Then you tell them the reason and their smile drops, they act different, distant. They don't know how to react. It makes you feel guilty, although you shouldn't. They asked for it.

''Because I almost died on one two years ago,'' you sighed.

"Huh? Died? What?''San asked, confused.

You and San had been friends for a year and a half now. You had grown close instantly, but you had never shared your darkest truth with him.

It's hard for you, to tell your friends how you feel and what you went through. You wouldn't want anyone to think you're an attention seeker. Would they still love you the same?

Would San love you the same?

Does San even love you?

You took a deep breath as he gently lifted his hand up to your cheek, making you look him in the eyes. "What happened, Y/N? Please, was it an accident? Tell me, please," he softly spoke.

You were "I don't want you to hate me... Or be disgusted by me," you sighed. "I would never... I care about you, angel."

Angel. Choi San called you an angel.

"I wanted to die, two years ago. I wanted to die for a lot of years. I have had a lot of thoughts about leaving the earth...But two years ago, I acted on those thoughts."

San nearly stopped breathing for a bit. He felt his heart beat faster, yet he thought something died inside him. "What are you talking about?"

"Exactly how I said it, Sannie... That's what happened. I hated myself. I wanted to die, so I tried to end it all."

"But honey... you're the greatest person in the world... How could you ever... Did someone hurt you?" San asked. His tone and his gaze was so soft you nearly started crying. Someone cared about you for once.

San cared about you.

"The world hurt me, Sannie," you sighed, laying your head on his shoulder, "but my ex hurt me more. He made me feel like... I was worth nothing. That no one cared. So I thought everyone would be better off without me."

He embraced you and held you tightly, even when you didn't expect him to.

You expected him to drop you. Look at you as if you were disgusting. Filth. A loser. But he held you. Carressed your hair and kissed your head.

"I wouldn't be better off without you. I need you," he said softly. You looked up, into his eyes. Both of your eyes were filled with tears. You tried to swallow your feelings, but couldn't.

You felt tears roll down your cheek the moment San's lip started to wobble. "Oh, my precious," San sighed, hugging you, "promise me you'll never leave? Because I like that you're here..."

"I promise, San."

-

Your feelings for San were getting out of hand. You wanted to hold his hand while he held you in his big, strong arms.

You wanted to kiss his soft lips and let yourself go. You wanted to graze his strong thigh and travel upwards. You wanted to spend all your nights with him. You loved him.

But could he ever love you?

You have believed you were unlovable for at least three years, your ex had made sure of that. The times he hit you, the times he spat curse words at you. He used you. But made you feel useless.

That's what love looked like to you. You knew that wasn't love. But what exactly is love? What does love feel like?

"Why do you ask that, all of a sudden?"

"What?" You looked up at San, who was still working on his burger. "You asked me what love feels like, why do you ask? Are you interested in anyone?"

You blushed and started fidgeting with your rings. "Maybe... What does love feel like to you, San?"

"If you're talking about romantical love... I think it's... complicated, it's different for everyone and it is hard to explain. I think love is caring for someone, wanting to be with them and share your experiences with them forever, stay with them, missing them when they aren't around, longing for them..."

"That's what I was afraid of...," you mumbled, taking a sip from your drink.

"What?" San asked.

"Nothing, don't worry."

"Promise?" He asked, being worried.

"I promise, San."

-

You sat on the beach an hour later, with San by your side. He would not let go of you, insisting you'd be safer with him by your side. Holding you.

It scared you, how fast your heart was beating for him. Maybe you were crazy, but you felt like he felt it too. Maybe he felt the same way.

The hardest thing was that you couldn't tell him. You were so scared you'd be all alone again if he wouldn't be able to reciprocate your feelings.

"Y/N, I am so proud of you, you know that?"

You looked at him, surprised. "You are?"

"Ofcourse I am! You overwon a fear just now! This was a place with one of your worst memories, probably your worst, but now you are here. I am here. I am with you and I got you. Nothing's gonna harm you, when I am by your side."

You embraced each other in silence. Until he broke the silence with a tone that was less sweet than usual. It was needy. Fearful. Like yours.

"I don't think I ever wanna leave your side."

San looked at you and you looked at him and you swore, you swore you felt a spark between the two of you. Or was it imagination?

Your questions were soon answered by San's lips crashing on yours, catching you off guard with a passionate kiss. You sighed deeply into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck.

His hands slid from your back slowly to your thighs. Your tongue entered his mouth, playing games with his. San's hand slid under the skirt of your dress as he laid you down on the blanket.

You felt his fingers slip inside your panties and slide between your folds, already wet from just the kiss. San dipped two fingers inside your wet hole, plunging them deep inside.

"Oh! S-san," you whined out, grabbing onto the sandy blanket. "I got you, I promise."

He fucked his fingers into you, gently but with so much force it made your toes curl out of pleasure. "Oh, San, that's good, that is so so so good, keep doing that," you moaned out as he curled his fingers slightly, finding your sensitive spot.

"Yeah? There baby?" San smirked as he picked up his pace. "Y-Yes right there!"

This was the ecstasy you were looking for, for years. You had always believed you'd find it after going into the sea, but you were wrong. It was right on the beach, with the most gorgeous and sweet man, taking such good care of you.

He was a gentleman, always had been. But that did not make him any less sexual. He knew what he was doing, hitting your favourite spots with ease, making you a shaking and squirming mess.

"S-San I want your cock, please, want your cock inside me," you whined out. San nodded and took his length out of his shorts. He gave his cock a few strokes, hardening himself fully before entering your wet cunt.

He breathed out as he bottomed out, pushing in again and letting out a low moan. You whined at the burn of the stretch of San's cock in your hole.

San held you tight in his arms, slowly rocking into you as he pressed kisses over your exposed shoulders, chest and neck.

It was sweet, sweeter than you ever had expected, sweeter than you ever experienced. San knew just what you needed.

Just like his fingers, his pace wasn't quick but it was forceful, doing you just right. It did not take long before you came undone on his cock as his fingers played with your clit.

San pulled out and came over your milky thighs with a low moan. He cleaned you off quickly with a few tissues from his bag. Then he layed down with you and held you in his arms.

"I think I love you," you sighed. San kissed your head, rocking you gently in his arms. "I love you too honey, I'm not going anywhere."

"Do you promise, San?"

"I promise."

-

Soon enough you and San were inseperable. You loved and treasured each other, caring about each other deeply. He let you meet his friends and family, presenting you proudly. You even lived together.

He helped you through everything and he was there for you, always. You could always call and he would be there in a second, just like right now.

You sat on the cold tiles of your bathroom floor holding on to your arm. The white tiles were covered in blood and the sight made you shake.

It didn't take long before San was right by your side. He wasn't in shock, he wasn't fazed by the sight of you in this vulnerable state.

He cleaned your damaged arm and put bandages around it, as he tried to calm you down with his soft voice, shushing you gently.

"It's okay darling, It's okay, you're allowed to fall back, even when it's not good for you, it's okay and understandable."

"NO, San! NO. I am a fucking failure"

San closed his eyes as he held you. He felt his jeans soak up your blood from the tiles, just as his shirt got wetter and wetter because your tears.

"It's okay. I'll love you no matter what. You will never be a failure to me," your boyfriend spoke as you calmed down again.

"Do you promise, San?"

"I promise, angel."

-

You sat on your couch, watching San's favourite show. Even when he wasn't around, you liked to watch it. Just because he felt closer when you did.

Just as you were thinking about calling him, the doorbell rang. You got up exitedly, opening the door and ready to jump in his arms.

But it wasn't him.

It was a police officer. Two of them, to be exact.

And you felt your heart drop.

He promised he'd be there.

"Are you Y/N Y/L/N?" The first officer asked after bowing to you. His face was stern and serious. The younger officer looked sadder, worried. You already knew. Your breath hitched in your throat.

"Yes, sir," you said, as you gestured them to enter.

The three of you were seated on the couch. The negative tension in the air was suffocating and you fidgeted with your rings, biting your lip.

"We have some-"

"Choi San is dead, isn't he?" you spat out, the feeling of fear bubbling up in your body. Your breathing picked up, body shaking.

"Yes, ma'am, we are truly sorry to deliver this news to you. Our condoleances."

You shook your head and looked at the floor. "He can't be..."

"Choi San was in a car accident on Route 77, his body was found in the car-"

"Stop. Please. S-Stop."

He promised.

He promised.

He promised.

He wouldn't leave.

He would never-

-

You placed the white roses on the casket, gently. You had looked at him one last time today, keeping your own promise of being there for him.

The funeral was large, all his friends and family from all over the country had gathered together to say their goodbyes to their loved San.

Even though his family tried to comfort you, you wanted to be alone for a moment. You sat in front of his grave, already lowered half into the ground.

You missed him. Deeply. You couldn't imagine anyone who would love you more than San would, and you weren't sure how you would handle living without him.

The contact between you and nearly everyone faded, as you isolated yourself from the world.

No one was there to take care of you, if San wasn't here.

You wished you could have said goodbye to him. If he had to go, why in this way? Why in such an awful accident? Why, if it wasn't even his fault? Why, when you needed him the most?

You wanted to give up, so bad. Let go and go back to the beach, end what you were supposed to end years ago.

But you promised. You promised to hold on for him. And so you found yourself seek out to San's best friends. Seek out to his family. Speak your mind and grow, like San had taught you.

Because you promised him.

And you were going to keep this promise. Because he couldn't even if he wanted to. He wanted to be there for you, always. He wanted to devote his life to you. So who were you to take that from him? You had to let him go, but let him live inside you, speak through you, shine through you.

So every night you kissed the picture you kept of him on your nightstand.

"Forever and always, Sannie, I promise."