#if u notice certain characters more faded

[toastyyjams]

what ifー?

[rosietrace]

Glorious Masquerade, crimson flames (1/???)

Summary: Victoria has been graciously invited to attend the symposium hosted by Noble Bell College in collaboration with Night Raven College. Unfortunately, it seems she has a couple adversaries attending, specifically a certain prince of thorns...

( This does not apply to any the main stories other than characters such as Victoria and Zen and the mention of other characters significant to main story plot points. )

Author's note: Did I wait until the event was practically finished to release this? Yes. But I also wanted to buy some time until I release Scepter hall's prologue ^^ I know it's the Christmas season and this event takes place in Halloween, but I couldn't help myself! Hopefully my writing isn't bad-

{ Apologies for any out of character moments }

Victoria watched from the other side of the Pomefiore common room, eyeing Vil while he nagged at Epel and made sure he had packed what she can assume to be every single beauty product in the dorm.

She sighed, scrolling through her phone. I suppose it'll be a good experience for Felmier and Hunt. Victoria thought.

Noticing her lack of attention to the current situation, Vil let out a sigh and approached the prodigious alchemist."Victoria-san." He called out.

Victoria hummed, looking up at Vil, her phone still in her hands. But this time, she appeared more poised.

"What is it, Schoenheit?"

Vil narrowed his eyes."Due to Rook's temporary absence because of the symposium, I wish for you to take part in his duties as vice dorm head in his absence." He stated, and Victoria couldn't help but sigh in exasperation.

"I think you should understand that I'm not going to take part in those duties for Hunt, Schoenheit." Victoria put her phone away and merely crossed her arms and legs.

Vil's eyes widened, before they quickly squint in slight annoyance with Victoria's attitude towards him."And why is that?" He questioned, seemingly demanding an answer out of her.

Biting back a devious smirk, Victoria took an invitation out of her pocket and handed it to Vil, who quickly took it from her hands.

As he read the letter, he was…. Surprised? Perplexed? Infuriated? There seemed to be a lot on Vil's mind based on his expression at that moment. At least to Epel and Rook.

"U-Um… What is that letter, Vil-senpai?" Epel asked curiously, forcing out any signs of nervousness in his eyes. Rook raised an eyebrow with a curious smile.

Vil only gave the letter back to a very smug Victoria, and huffed in frustration at her current attitude."It seems your upperclassman is going to accompany you… In a way." Was what he said, before leaving the room to calm himself down.

Rook hummed softly, turning to Victoria."So it seems you're going to attend the symposium as well, Reine de miroirs?"

Her smug look faded back to her usual cold, yet expressionless face."Yes. But not to represent the academy, to represent my family. Noble bell personally invited me to represent the house of Shard, and I was allowed to bring someone with me." She explained.

Epel tilted his head in confusion."Eh? Then, couldn't you have taken Vil-senpai?" He wondered why she didn't consider bringing Vil so they could all go together.

But alas, Victoria wasn't attached to any of them."I already chose someone else, unfortunately for Vil." Victoria replied, walking out of the common room seemingly… Angry.

"Eh…. I wonder why she looked so upset." Epel commented while finishing up packing his things.

Rook chuckled, albeit rather awkwardly."I wonder as well. However as blunt as she may be, Reine de miroirs is rather secretive about certain things." Rook responded.

♜ ♛ ________________________________♛♜

Victoria slammed her bedroom door shut. She practically seethed in anger that she felt tempted to obliterate her bedroom.

But instead, she looked at her reflection in the vanity inside her room. Her eyes were tired, filled with frustration, and her jaw was clenched.

Victoria looked at the letter in her hands and gripped it tightly. If I was slightly more infuriated…. This letter would've been ripped to shreds. She thought in the silence that filled the room.

Suddenly, she heard a knocking sound coming from her balcony and flinched. As she swiftly whipped her head to the source of the sound, Victoria felt a sigh of relief.

"By the seven, you gave me quite the scare for a moment, Odile." She said as she welcomed the crow into her room.

In a flash, the crow transformed into a woman. The woman had eyes with the colors of a pearl, and wore a dark blue and white dress.

"Did you send him the second invitation?"

"Yes, my lady. The lord will arrive at the city of flowers at the same time as your mother and father."

Relief and satisfaction was what Odile saw in Victoria's expression. She didn't smile, but the look in her eyes said it all.

"Thank you… Please inform father that the dress I've designed has been completed and that the accessories I've been given by mother have arrived."

Odile bowed, her expression blank."Yes, my lady. I'm sure you'll be the most radiant in the symposium." Odile predicts, making Victoria giggle a bit.

"I'm not so sure about that, but if that's what you say… I'll do my best to reach those expectations of yours. You may leave." Victoria crossed her arms and looked at Odile.

The latter nodded reluctantly and shifted back to a crow. Victoria opened the balcony doors and Odile left as quickly as she entered.

Smiling to herself, Victoria exhaled calmly.

"Even if Draconia will also be attending… at least he will make it more entertaining."

[chordata-on-alterhumanity]

a couple of questions, because im really new to this stuff:

1. im questioning if im an otherlinker/copinglinker, but im not sure yet- is it just saying "i wanna be this person/character/thing, okay, now time to convince myself of it/play into the role"?

2. whats the spectrum? when otherlinking to something, is it a range of "i kind of feel like this thing somewhat" to "i completely identify as this, but still aware im me"? same thing with uh- does it range from animals, fictional characters, objects, ect?

3. specifically with animals/beasts ect, do you also act like them in the form of walking, moving, appearance, ect, or is that only therians?

4. are you able to change what youre linked to often, or is it consistent, with only one thing at a time? or- are you able to have a constant selection you never really "break ties" with, if that makes sense? like a row of shirts you can choose from each day to wear. can you create links that fast? would i be able to make a list of links i can change with frequently whenever id like?

5. is there anything i need to specifically avoid asking/talking about regarding all of this because it might be unknowingly rude or offensive to those in the same community, or others?

if any of this doesnt make sense, i apologize- im new to tumblr, too

Heey, thanks for the questions!!

1. Basically, yeah! Otherlinking is about choosing an identity and reinforcing it, yeah! Though, the lines between it and other forms of identity, like otherkin, aren't always clear. "Quoiluntary identity" is a term used for identites that aren't pinpointed as voluntary or involuntary. For example, this week I started linking a character while at work, and it initially wasn't an active choice. It was random, like, I did something and then noticed a similarity between me and the character and that made me feel good, so I paid a little more attention to the similarities. It's not involuntary because if I stopped thinking about it the sense of identity would fade, even if the similarities between me and the char would stay (… until I grow and change as a person to no longer strike a resemblance lol. And being kin doesn't have to be about resembling your kintype in the first place! Being a linker doesn't have to be either. Your linktype could be how you imagine yourself internally, or only in certain situations, or or or… I'll get back to my point 'u' " ). Yet it's not fully voluntary either because the start of it was a random realization. Personally, I just call it all linktypes and don't bother thinking too much. But that's just my own choice!

2. That's the spectrum, yeah! The intensity can go all the way from just a little to full on. There's people who, after linking for a while, feel that the linktype has become so integral to them that it's become involuntary, aka a kintype by definition (Whether that's still called linktype or changed to kintype is up to the individual's choice). And it can be animals, characters, objects, concepts, colours, etc etc, yup. There's no limit to linking unless you harm yourself or others. So linking real people is an iffy subject (I think making a linktype based on a real person is a healthy way to go about the desire to link another living breathing being but pretending to be that person for real isn't a good idea).

3. Me, as a green woodpecker linker who feels the immense desire to cling to vertical surfaces like a woodpecker clings to a tree, tries to mimic their call, and more, yea. Yeah. But it can vary of course! It's the same for therians, actually. I've heard of at least one therian who was kin with wolves in more of a symbolic way than physicality, like, what they stood for in our human perception, the attributes we ascribe to them as a species.

4. I think this is different from person to person, so I'll again talk from personal experience. I have way too many active links at the moment. My brain can get indecisive about which one to "wear" lately. (My job involving a lot of multitasking and training my brain into being scattered doesn't help this imo.) You describe it pretty well by comparing it to a row of shirts. That's what it's like for me; I pick the one that most comfortably fits me or helps me the most. Some links can be created fast, others need time. I already mentioned a fast one in 1., but I also have a linktype that I built up for weeks before I felt any sense of identity in it. How easily a person can change into/out of/between linktypes may depend on the circumstances of the day. I'm sure there can internal or external circumstances preventing a change.

5. Hmm. The only thing I can think of is that we're not particularly fond of when people treat linkers like "otherkin lite", as if our identities are less valuable because they're chosen. If you understand that a chosen identity can be as meaningful as an inherent one, I think that's a given. The community at large also doesn't like being grouped in with "kin for fun"/"kff" people. I'm not 100 % sure I understand the concept of kff correctly, but I think it's people who claim they're kin but don't even identify as the thing. It's just a trend they're running with. It's perfectly fine to link something just for fun, so that's why the whole thing is a bit of a head scratcher for me. I think the disdain might be more because many kff trashtalk alterhumans (otherkin, otherlink, etc) than anything else. If anyone reading this can explain the kff thing better or can think of more things to avoid around otherlinkers, please reply to this post. That all said, don't hold back in asking questions because of the chance they might be rude! Rude questions can result in very interesting conversation.

I hope this helps! ^.^ Sorry in case there's typos and grammar mistakes. It's late and I'm tired but idk when there'd be the next time I have the time to collect my thoughts in order to reply.

[tojivu]

here to request “haikyuu boys standing you up” gn!reader and character(s) okay as long as kuroo’s in there (or not either works) just need some angst

nova always comes in clutch ily /p

haikyuu boys standing you up

a/n for the beloved!!! this is so sloppy im sry

warnings/tags angst in its pure form,, mentions of drinking. includes kuroo atsumu sakusa n ushijima my favs… timeskip:)

SAKUSA didn’t have all the time in the world. he was a busy man—he’s a volleyball player in one of the biggest teams in the world. he knew he had commitments and sacrifices were to be made, but nothing would’ve warned you that you were going to be one of them. he loved you, he did. kiyoomi wanted to be your home and for a long time, he was. so when you finally reached the restaurant you were supposed to meet at, and see he’s not there—you came to a sensible conclusion. he was busy. he’ll be here soon. the embarrassing stares burned your skin. the worried look on the waitress’s face embarrassed you even more. 30 minutes would pass and there is no one sitting in the chair in front of you. 40 minutes would pass and you have to give up your seat. an hour would pass and a text would appear with a pathetic apology.

[kiyoomi] i had practice, sorry

[kiyoomi] coach would kill me if i skipped

ATSUMU had to hang out with his friends. your boyfriend loved his bestfriends like his own brother, and you found it cute. it certainly was, they’d always look out for eachother and he’d shown you off to them multiple times ever since you got together. yes, it was perfect—he would never be the type of guy to act different around his friends than when he’s with you. he’s never the type to hide you. miya is proud of you and he’s never scared to show that—but then you wait, and wait, and wait at the movie theatre for what seems like millennium. you’re so tired from standing in the cold lobby of the cinema that you could close your eyes and pass out, and your boyfriend is nowhere in sight. he told you he was so excited today. and yet, he managed to text you when you got home—all tired and eyes sore—that he was preoccupied.

[tsumu] team was throwing a party, couldnt miss it

[tsumu] im not home yet we can talk later. sorry i didnt text u earlier was just so excited for it

KUROO ditches you for school. as lame as it sounds, he wants to pass. he wants to excel in school and make his teachers proud. tetsurou has always helped you in school, he’s been your seatmate in year 2 and sneaked you answers every once in awhile—just because he thought you were cute. that was really the main reason he talked to you, he found you attractive and he knew you needed help in some subjects. he was smart and you admired it—so you’d never disturb him when he’s studying. so you leave him alone for the week before the term test, oddly enough, he asked you out on a date the week before. kuroo would never forget, he has a good memory. he would surely remember his partner is waiting for him in the cafe he arranged to meet at. he would. but he doesn’t, so he leaves you sitting alone—the smile that was waiting to greet him has faded and you were so tired. you ended up buying only one drink instead of two, noticing how the cashier looked at you with remorse—her smile was comforting, so much so that you could almost thank her. and so when kuroo texts you that night, he can only make up the same excuse.

[tetsurou] you know how much i value my studies

[tetsurou] we can always meet up after exams

USHIJIMA chose volleyball. wakatoshi is the perfect man, he’s got it all. good looks, amazing physique, and yet you always found something about him offputting. he would never tell you when he’s feeling a certain way, when he’s not up to do something or when he prefers something over the other. so when he has practice and your date to choose between, he goes with the most important one. improvement could never wait, he always said that. so he makes you wait for him, alone, in the bar you were supposed to meet at—and everytime you hear a man talk to you, for a second, you think it’s your boyfriend. but it’s been 2 hours of waiting, and even drinking couldn’t pass the time faster—he was never going to show.

[ushijima] i have to improve somehow

[ushijima] can’t do that if i’m not in the court

happy holidays <3 this is so bad i’m so sry — 291221

join in on my 100 flwrs event <3 ( closed )

[viridwns]

Can't help but fall in love with you.

Time: present

Paring: Chuuya x f!reader

Characters: Chuuya nakahara, Dazai osamu, Mori ōgai, Fukuzawa yukichi from BSD

Warnings: none ig.

Request from: @trixiegalaxy . I hope you are happy with this!

You were just looking for a job. A simple job.

You really went from being a secretary with mountains of paperwork your boss left you to being in the middle of a truce meeting.

"No illusions this time fukuzawa?"

"It's a truce meeting right? I don't see the use of using my members ability."

You really didn't want to be here. What were you even thinking! The job that you were offered after just moving into this city was to perfect to be true. You knew something was up, but you still accepted it anyway.

When you were asked to come to an important meeting by Dazai, you didn't think any of it. I mean maybe you had to take notes or something. So ofcourse being the good subordinate you were, you said yes.

Curse this handsome looking man. If only you had listened to your guts when he asked you to join him for a double suicide.

You tugged at Dazai's arm wanting to know why in the hell he brought you here. "What the actual fuck Dazai" you whispered at him a frown setteling upon your face. He looked at you with a grin and winked. Wanting nothing more to bash his head in a voice interrupted your thoughts.

"I can see you brought someone new. I've never seen her face here before."

You looked at the mafia boss. He was smiling at you.

Gulping down the lump in your throat you tried to look as brave as possible. Standing up straight with your chin up.

"She's our new secretary. Thought i'd bring her with us for some experience." You heard Dazai say.

Only Dazai, fukuzawa and you were here. On the other side you could see the mafia boss, a man with no eyebrows? And a short, but intimidating man with a fedora.

Yeah you didn't want to get caught up into this.

"I'm gonna quit the next opportunity i get" you muttered. Regretting not listening to your mother to stay in the little village and not moving to the city.

"Knowing you Dazai, she isn't just a secretary. Just tell us what her ability is."

Wait what?

"Hah?" You said without realizing.

First of all how did Dazai know about your ability. Second of all how could it be of any use here?

"Ah you caught me. She indeed has an ability. Up to you to figure it out."

Dazai said, his famous grin plastered on his face.

"Cut the crap mackerel. This is a truce meeting. Stop this shitty act and just tell us why she's here." The man with the fedora stept forward. His gloved hand pointing at you.

Honestly you don't even know anymore why you were here.

"Can we just set our agreement. My schedule is busy and the only way we can stop (bad guy name) is if we work together."

Your boss spoke up. Looking tired as usual.

"Sorry, but it seems like your hiding something from us. Are you going to attack us when we turn around hm?"

The mafia boss looked at him with an amusing smile.

"Stop this nonsense Mori. Just agree to the plan. You know it's the best thing to do."

"Fine. Tomorrow at midnight i'll send Chuuya and you'll send Dazai. Deal?"

"Deal."

----

Why the fuck.

wHY THE FUCKING FUCK WERE YOU HERE.

That chuuya guy and Dazai were supposed to be going on a mission together.

so why in the hell were you here waiting infront of a shed at 12 AM with Dazai at your side.

Simple answer: you fell for his tricks again.

"Isn't the sky pretty y/n."

"Say one more word and i'll make you regret using me for my ability."

An angry scowl was placed on your features as Dazai pouted.

"Ah come one y/n-kun don't be so mean."

You snapped your head to the right to face him.

"Oh i'm mean? You literally send me here to join you for a suicide mission. I'm only going to be dead weight anyway!"

He chuckled

"Oh don't worry, you're going to be a great help for this mission."

Giving him a confused look, you were about to say something when a voice interrupted you.

"And can i ask why she is here?"

You looked to the left to see Chuuya standing there with a hand on his hip.

"Why is everyone so irritated this night. Well i wouldn't expect less from Chuuya, but you are never irritated y/n."

"For everything there's a first time." You said with a sigh.

This was going to be a long night.

"Just shut up you mackerel. I'm not in the mood for your shit."

Chuuya walked closer to the two of you. He was intimidating as ever, but gosh did he have anger issues.

Dazai tried to open his mouth, but knowing him and his passion for annoying people you interrupted him.

"If we go left from here, we'll eventually see the base of the enemy. There's a way in from the left side of the building without being seen. It's our best shot to sneak in."

You finished looking at the two men.

You could see Chuuya staring at you with a certain look in his eyes.

"Is there something on my face?" You asked, your hands wiping your face.

It looked like you suprised him by the sudden startled look on his face.

"N-no Let's just go. The sooner we start, the faster we finish."

Chuuya walked past the two of you. Cursing something under his breath. You could swear you saw a light pink covering his cheeks.

----

"Where the fuck did that maniac go?!"

You sat on the ground covering your ears with your hands. Not wanting to listen to Chuuya's whines anymore.

It all happenend so fast. The three of you broke into the enemy's base and found a good hiding spot, but somehow the three of you got caught. Chuuya and you ran, thinking Dazai was right behind you two, but when you locked yourselves into a lab, he was gone.

Looking at the furious ginger you tried to calm him down.

"It's Dazai we're talking about. C'mon have some faith in your partner."

You smiled lightly, but it soon faded as you were met with an angry scowl.

"He was my partner. I can't even believe he brought you."

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

You didn't know either why he brought you, but he could be atleast a bit nicer about it.

"Well i'm sorry for being here, but thanks to me we could break into this place. Also can you just calm your tits. Your behavior isn't helping the situation."

You stood up to look him in his eyes. Your smile being replaced with a more serious look.

"I-." He tried to say something, but instead moved to the other side of the room.

"You're such a nausionce."

Knowing if you would pick a fight with him now nothing good would come out of it.

"I know, now let's find a way out."

Looking around the room, you could only find some medical suplies and some samples of God knows what.

Chuuya began helping you after sulking for a bit in the corner. He checked all the cabinets and only found food and more medical supplies.

"I found nothing, you?"

You asked the man while sitting down on the large dental like chair in the middle of the room.

"Nothing useful no."

Chuuya leaned at the wall infront of you.

"Going outside is also not an option. There are cameras outside the door. So they'll know our location immediately."

You let out a frustrated sigh. Massaging your temples.

"God i'm so stupid. I should've paid more attention to our location."

The man infront of you scoffed.

"Not going to disagree with you on the first thing, but you couldn't have known where we were and we were all in a state of panic. It makes you forget things."

Being a little shocked that he also could be nice, i mean he did call you stupid indirectly, but the words he said did make you feel better.

"Thanks Chuuya. That means allot to me." You said to him smiling.

"Yeah yeah whatever." The pink hue could be seen again on his cheeks as he looked away.

Giggling softly at his flustered state.

"What are you laughing at brat?!"

Ah there was the angry chihuahua again.

"Nothing, just you."

"You bi-."

Chuuya was cut off by voices on the other side of the door. You jumped of your chair looking at Chuuya with a panicked expression.

He motioned to the closet and you nodded your head. Quickly moving over to the closet, you and Chuuya squeezed yourselves in.

The space was cramped, but it was the only solution for now. Knowing that Chuuya's ability would make to much of a commotion.

Feeling Chuuya's warm breath on your lips, you now noticed how short he actually was. His head not coming above your nose. It was adorable really.

He also smelled like wine, but it wasn't smelly or something. It was quite a pleasant smell and not to mention very attractive.

Blushing at your thoughts you looked up.

'Omg why am i thinking this now. He's so attractive- NO Y/N FOCUSE.' you internally screamed.

"This door is locked kiri, maybe the intruders are in here."

A soft rattling noise was heard and the door knob moved a little.

"Damn i don't got the keys. Let me go get them."

You heart footsteps leave the door, but you knew someone else was waiting infront of it.

Suddenly you could feel a light bulb just pop above your head. You had a plan, but you didn't know if it would work.

"Shit what do we do." You could hear Chuuya mutter.

"I might have an idea." You whispered.

----

"Are you crazy?! You can't just do that y/n!" Chuuya whisper yelled.

You were putting on one of the labcoats hanging in the closet. Your other clothes were in Chuuya's hands.

You were wearing your hair loose with a skintight labcoat flaunting every curve of your body.

"It's the only plan right now. And with my ability it is almost guaranteed it will work." You whispered back. You hated this plan as much as he did, but it was your only chance. And you felt sexy as fuck right now.

"I got them!." You heard a man's voice say. Footsteps getting closer. "Took you long enough, now open the door."

"Jeez okay fine."

"There is no time Chuuya." You said closing the closet doors. You could see Chuuya trying to protest, but he gave up.

Scurrying over to one of the counters pretending you were organizing something the door opened.

You heart starting to beat faster and your hands shaking. 'Calm down y/n. You got this you sexy motherfucker'. Your breathing slowed a little and a voice was heard from the doorway.

"Hey you! Put your hands up!"

You looked up to see two men in trenchcoats with guns pointing at you.

"What's this commotion all about gentleman? I'm just trying to do my job here."

You raised your hands and slowly walked over to the men.

"Stay still! Tell me your name."

Stopping your movements you bit your lip.

"My name is..." should you tell them you're real name? Or just make one up.

"Go on woman, we don't have all night."

Slightly annoyed by his tone, you decided to use your own name.

"L/n, y/n l/n." You said

"Never heard of you. Have you?" The man turned to his colleague.

"No, take her in custody."

Panicking internally, you needed to come up with a lie right now! Your ability won't work unless the men touch you.

"I uhmm. I was waiting for one of the men. He hired me for some private time. If you know what i mean." You winked at the two men. Hoping they would buy your lie.

You could see them blushing slightly.

"Who hired you?"

"Dunno. We do these things anonymous."

You walked over to the chair and slowly crawled on it. Trying to nonegelantly show your ass.

"Hey i said don't move!"

The second man said. Coming closer to you.

"Okay, okay calm down." You sat down and put your hands infront of you.

"I'm just here, because he still got 30 minutes left. Rules from my boss. Can't go away till the time is up." You shrugged and flipped your hair. Leaning on your knee with the other hand.

You really had to stop yourself from cringing.

"Well i got to ask you to leave ma'am." The first guys said, putting his gun down and walking over to you.

"Fine, but if you get a call from my boss, don't blame me."

"Ofcourse. You are just doing you're job." The second guy said with a blush on his face.

'Ugh men.'

"You have to lead me the way tho. The other guy insisted on blind folding me." You seductively bite your lip and winked again.

"Of- ofcourse come with us please."

The second guy cleared his throat and offered his hand. Smiling you took his hand and hopped of the chair.

'Now the other guy.'

'Accidentally' stumbling you fell into the first dudes arms, causing him to catch you.

"Oh shit. Clumsy me. Can't even walk properly."

You gave out a short laugh and the guy brushed his jacket.

"It's okay. Now come o-."

Not being able to finish his sentence, he fell to the ground. His partner following him.

"Yeah that's right you two go to sleep. I'll find my way out from here."

Chuckling at your own humor you snatched their guns.

"Wait how-."

Chuuya stepped out of the closet a blush on his cheeks and a confused expression.

Standing up straight you walked over to him and picked up your clothes from his hands.

"It's my ability  'sweet dreams'. If i touch the person and whisper 'sweet dreams' in the next 5 minutes. The person or persons will fall into a coma. They'll wake up when i fall asleep or when i forget i put them to sleep. So i have to keep thinking about them."

You finished off with a smile. Putting your own shirt on again.

"I can see now why Dazai brought you." He said with a slight smirk on his face.

"It isn't all that fancy and i never really used it before."

"Why come you never joined the port mafia or hell even the ADA."

You sighed a little.

"Well it could be a useful ability, but i don't want to be a hero or villian or other shit. I'm happy as i am now."

Chuuya looks at you with a soft expression.

"That's a shame. Would've loved to see you in action more. Or hell even fight against you."

He looked away from you. His hand behind his head. You laughed a little.

"I would absolutely demolish your ass." You said, crossing your arms with a triumph look on your face.

"Hah you wish princess. You won't be able to even come near me!"

You blushed at the sudden nickname. Your hands falling to your side.

"W-we'll see." You cursed yourself for stuttering.

He walked passed you to the door. Whispering something in you ear.

"I wouldn't mind seeing you try to seduce me like the two men you seduced just now."

Your ears felt hot and you were sure you looked like a tomato right now. Chuuya walked out the door and you just stood there. Coming out of your shocked state you ran out the door to slap him. "Come here you asshole." You whisper yelled. Chuuya almost dying from laughter shushed you. "We don't want the enemy to find us now. Do we. Otherwise you have to put on that outfit again."

Smacking him on the back of his head. You couldn't wait to get this mission done.

----

"Ah what a night. Good thing you guys saved me back there. They were cruel!"

The brunette man was stretching his limbs.

It was 5 in the morning and Chuuya and you were finally able to take the boss out (well Chuuya did that part while you freed Dazai.)

"Oh shut up you damn piece of shit. Thanks to you it took us the whole night to finish this job and most of all you brought y/n in unnecessary danger."

"Hey it's okay. I'm fine. Luckily we all are. Let's just head home go to sleep and go back to enemies in the morning." You quickly said walking inbetween the two men.

Dazai yawned.

"Sounds like a great plan y/n! Altough i thought you were gonna quit the job."

You put your hands around Dazais arm.

"Nah can't do that after such an adventure now can i?"

You and Dazai chuckled while Chuuya just sighed.

"Get a room jeez." He said annoyed.

"Ah c'mon Chuuya. We make a great team! I can't wait for the next truce." You said rather excited for this hour.

Coming at the end of the forest you knew you had to say your goodbye's to the men.

"Well y/n i wish you a pleasant night and i'll see you at work again. Chuuya i hope you get hit by a car."

Dazai smiled and turned around to walk away.

You laughed and waved him goodbye.

"That fucker." Chuuya muttered holding up his middle finger.

"Ah come on Chuuya. He may not show it, but i know he sees you as a friend."

"Pff sure in your dreams."

Sighing you face palmed yourself.

"Well i guess this is it then. Goodnight Chuuya."

You knew it was wrong. He was your enemy and you had to put your feelings aside, but you couldn't stop yourself. You never had so much fun in your whole life and to be frank, you didn't want the night to end here yet.

You kissed him on the cheek and turned around.

"Thank you for this wonderful, but crazy ass night." You gave a sad smile. Although he couldn't see it.

Suddenly you felt someone grab you wrist. Spinning you around. You were met with a flustered Chuuya his eyes fixated on the ground.

Standing there in an awkward silence for a few seconds, he finally spoke up.

"Look. I worked with many people before, but i never had so much fun with someone. And-" he became quiet for a bit. Taking a deep breath he continued: " and i never felt like this before. You give me this warm feeling and i hate it, but i can't get enought of it. When i first saw you at the meeting i just knew you were different. So please let's not end this night just yet."

He tilted his head to look at you a serious expression on his face.

"Chuuya-."

Your voice was cut of when a pair of warm lips crashed your own. They were rough, but soft at the same time. Being a little stunned you forgot to kiss back. Chuuya pulled away again taking a step back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what came over me."

This time you shushed him and kissed him back. His arms finding a way on your hips and your arms grabbing his hair to deepen the kiss.

After a few seconds you both pulled away, out of breath. Your fourheads touching eachother and your noses brushing eachother.

"That was- wow."

You said with a small smile.

Chuuya chuckled lightly.

"I won't go easy on you now if we meet again y/n."

"Oh i'm counting on it."

You grinned. Wanting to make this night last longer. He pulled you in for a kiss again and you let him. Nothing making you happier as you are right now.

Little did you two forbidden lovers know that a brunette man was staring contently as his assumptions were right.

----

Sorry it took so long :,)

[iwaisa]

bnha boys crushing on someone with a cat quirk

pairings: bakugou, sero, midoriya, todoroki, and kaminari x gender neutral reader

warnings: swearing (thanks bakugou 😌👍👍)

a/n: i’d like to think that if i were in the bnha world, my character would have a quirk like the cheshire cat, so i brought it to life (๑>◡<๑) this is also supposed to be situations based off mannerisms of cats !

part 1 | part 2

► now shuffling...

head pats

when you first moved to U.A., the first thing everyone noticed were your ears and tail

everyone thought it was so cute, but they should’ve been more careful

behind that cute, adorable facade was a dangerous quirk that rivaled that of the class’ resident hot-head

speaking of hot-head, bakugou hated it

especially how your tail kept swaying back and forth while you sat in front of him during class

“oi shitty cat! move your fucking tail!”

…

you didn't move your tail.

you kept taunting him with it and teasing him which resulted in aizawa having to ask you to move to the back of the class

sure, bakugou laughed in your face, but he would never admit out loud that he would miss those days where he could see your smile and hear your laughter echo throughout the classroom

it had been a few months since you moved seats and bakugou still couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he just simply liked you.

he kept falling deeper and deeper, attempting to crawl out of the hole until one day he just decided that he was okay with it

he was okay with the fact that he liked you

that one day was on a weekend

bakugou had just woken up and was heading to the kitchen to make some tamagoyaki until he stopped dead in his tracks from the sound of your voice

more specifically, your laughter

he felt his heart rate begin to pick up, and the nitroglycerin sweat seemed to pour from his palm, resulting in loud crackling and popping

he stepped out from around the corner to see mina, kaminari, kirishima, and sero petting you

and you… liked it??

he watched with his brows furrowed and his mouth hanging open as you seemed to push your head into their hands

your eyes were closed and you looked so at peace that he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy

why were you letting all of them touch you like that?

it pissed him off

he marched up to you and pushed kaminari and mina aside

“what the hell are you guys doing?”

mina kept squealing while explaining that since you were a cat, you really liked when people pet your head and ears

“that’s fucking weird.”

“c’mon bakubro! you gotta feel their ears man, they’re so soft!” kirishima exclaimed while going back to rub your ears

you giggled and leaned your head into his hand, making bakugou’s blood boil

“hell no! i want nothing to do with this!”

they kept teasing him until sero said something along the lines of “he just doesn’t want to pet them because it won't feel good to them. you gotta be nice and gentle, and bakugou probably wouldn’t be able to do that”

bakugou stopped in place and slowly turned around to glare at sero, “what the fuck did you say, plain face?? i can be fucking gentle!”

he stomps up to you and raises his hand

you flinch and close your eyes thinking he’s going to hit you until you feel his fingers just barely grazing the tips of your ears

you open your eyes to see bakugou using both of his hands to gently rub them

he didn’t even notice you were staring at him since he was watching as his hands played with your ears, a tint of red making its way onto his face

he watched in awe as you pushed your head into his hands, making his face even hotter - if that was possible

after a few minutes of bakugou not saying anything - and the rest of the squad staying quiet from shock that he was actually being soft - you poked his cheek with your finger

“surprisingly, you’re the softest out of all of them”

“sh-shut up shitty cat! i told you i can be gentle!”

you grinned as you watched him stomp away to the kitchen

when you turned around, the whole bakusquad was giving you these giant shit-eating grins

you just shook your head and brushed past them, making your way back to your room

stretching / poofing tail / kneading soft things

this boy literally felt his heart explode as soon as you walked into the classroom

you were literally so??? adorable????

however, after he saw you in action, he was lowkey terrified of you

your quirk was so unique and insanely powerful that he started to doubt himself and his abilities

during a training session you watched sero spar against iida, and noticed as his signature grin seemed to fade after he lost

he slowly trailed behind the rest of the class on the way back to the classroom, but you noticed instantly

you slowed down so that you were walking right next to him

“hey, i know i just moved a few weeks ago, but i think your quirk is really cool. a-and what present mic said was wrong, your elbows aren’t freaky at all.”

oh my, i think you killed him. you didn’t think his quirk was creepy? you didn’t hate the shape of his elbows? you didn’t mind his biggest insecurity???? why couldn’t he control his heart?

he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of you so he just ran into the classroom, leaving you behind

you stood outside the class for a few minutes, a little heartbroken

you couldn’t deny that you began developing feelings for the kind, supportive, adorable boy

sero felt awful for ignoring you the rest of the day

you sat right next to him in class which didn't make the situation any better

his heart rate never slowed down, and the red never left his cheekbones

you on the other hand, were confused and all you wanted to do was talk to him

as the last bell rang, you ran to the dorms so you could hide away in your room, but mina had another idea

she suggested a class sleepover in the common room, and you had agreed, not thinking that you would be nervous because of a certain tape-dispensing up-and-coming hero

upon entering the common room with a fluffy blanket that evening, sero’s eyes instantly found yours

fortunately, he looked away quickly

unfortunately, there was only one spot left

which was right next to sero :D

you slowly sank into the couch, accidentally brushing your knee against his

his heart rate picked up again, but he tried his hardest to focus on the horror movie playing on the screen

you started getting anxious about halfway through the first movie when sero shifted in his seat, letting his knee rest on top of yours

you began kneading at your blanket and you stretched, poofing the fur on your tail out

you didn’t even notice a part of onyx eyes watching your every movement

you turned to peek at sero, but instantly snapped your head to face the screen when you made eye contact

sero was having an internal crisis

you were so adorable and for what????

you stood up, your tail still poofed out and asked if anyone wanted more popcorn

everyone nodded, their eyes not leaving the screen

you smiled and made your way to the kitchen

“hey..” you jumped and turned around upon hearing sero’s soft voice

“h-hey.”

…

“i’m really sorry about ignoring you, i just didn't know how to respond. no one has ever told me that my quirk is cool and i kinda freaked out. i-i think you’re really cool.” he blurted out the last bit leaving you dumbfounded

“i think you’re cool too, sero!” you smiled at him

you turned around, waiting for the popcorn to finish when you felt a slight tap on your shoulder

you turned around and watched as sero tripped over his words

“i-i think you’re really cute too… like for example when you puff your tail out when you stretch, or when you knead at things, and just all of your mannerisms. i really like you, l/n.”

you beamed at him as you returned his feelings, making his heart implode

you jumped as the popcorn machine dinged, and felt your face heat up as sero just laughed at you

no one even noticed when you walked back into the room with your hands intertwined

wrapping your tail around his leg

it was only your first day at U.A. and a certain green-haired boy already wanted to know everything about you

said green-haired boy, named izuku midoriya, knew better than to assume anything about you

he had seen many people with surprising quirks, so he assumed yours was extremely powerful if you were accepted into U.A. near the middle of the year

he didn’t know anything about you other than you were extremely adorable

he found it intimidating

he also didn’t know what to expect when aizawa told the class they would be paired up to spar with one of their classmates

you were chosen to spar against ojiro, who was difficult to go against considering his quick attacks and strong tail

but you were strong too, countering ojiro’s attacks with your own

midoriya was even more amazed than he thought he would be

he began taking notes and started to watch your every move

how could someone go from being so innocent and kind to a terrifying fighter?

a few months later and midoriya’s notebook had at least 4 pages full of notes about you

not only were they notes about your quirk, but midoriya had began writing short poems about you

no matter what, he just couldn’t stop thinking about you and how amazing you looked during and out of training

you had walked down to the kitchen on a sunday morning in hopes of making yourself some food

you stopped when you saw midoriya cutting up some fruit to put into a smoothie

you greeted him as you walked to the fridge, and midoriya has never been so startled in his whole life

“h-h-hi l/n!”

you giggled and began making your breakfast, going to stand next to midoriya

you two were just quietly enjoying each other’s presence

until your tail had another idea

midoriya felt something soft caress the back of his calves, and stopped what he was doing, almost cutting himself with the knife

he felt your tail wrap and unwrap itself around his leg, and he turned to look at you

you, however, were very blissfully unaware of the predicament you were putting midoriya in

“u-uh, l/n?”

“mhm?”

“y-your tail…” he pointed to where your tail was wrapped around his leg

“oh shoot sorry! i guess i just do that so many times without thinking i didn’t even realize it would make people uncomfortable. i apologize!”

you unwrapped your tail from his leg

“t-that’s cute…” he muttered under his breath

you snapped your head to stare at him, and your breath hitched when you made eye contact with him

he frantically apologized for blurting it out while covering his face with his arms, his face a very bright red

you laughed as you watched him stumble over his words as you called him cute

winking / slow blinking

sitting next to class 1-a’s resident pretty boy was a difficult task

it was only your first day and you found yourself unable to take your eyes off the mysterious boy

however, todoroki believed the reason for your blatant staring was due to the scar sitting on his face

he turned to you during one of aizawa’s lectures and stared back, neither of you wanting to break eye contact

the bell rang, and before you could leave, todoroki had blurted out a question directed to you

“are you uncomfortable with my scar?”

you looked at him with a confused gaze

uncomfortable??? around such a beautiful man??? hell no. more like intimidated

“n-no! not at all! i just like your hair,” you refrained from telling him that the real reason was because you thought he was extremely beautiful

“oh. thank you.”

a few weeks passed since that encounter, and you had only grown closer to the half-and-half boy

you learned the real reason behind the scar, and assured him that you won’t think any different of him

he even felt a blush coat his cheeks when you called him amazing and strong

you, midoriya, uraraka, iida, and todoroki were studying in the common area, yet you weren’t focused on the textbook in front of you

you leaned your face on your cheek as you let your eyes wander over todoroki’s seemingly perfect features

todoroki looked up from his book just in time to see you wink at him

he was a bit taken aback, but shook it off as you getting some dust in your eye

he continued keeping eye contact with you and watched as you slowly blinked your eyes at him

todoroki brushed off the heat on his face and went back to writing in his notebook

he looked up again just in time to see you wink at him again

in all fairness, you didn’t even realize you were staring at him, you were a cat and it was a habit

“l/n, i appreciate the gesture, but why do you keep flirting with me?”

oh todoroki. you’re so beautiful yet so dumb.

you were a little confused since he just accused you of something you didn’t even do

“what?”

“you keep winking at me and slowly closing your eyes. is that your way of flirting?”

by now, the other three were watching you two with interest

“oh! no, that’s just a habit i have since i’m a cat. when i slowly blink at you it means that i trust you. and winking means that i really like you!”

you slapped your hand over your mouth

“o-oh. you like me?”

“i-i mean as a friend of course! i trust you and i don’t feel intimidated by you, that’s all!”

todoroki failed to hide the disappointment in his voice when he hummed back

while the five of you packed your books into your backpack, todoroki waited for you to finish before he began to talk to you

“l/n,” he began

you turned to him with wide eyes, scared that he would tell you that he didn’t like you like that

“yeah, todoroki?”

the other three scurried away, leaving you and todoroki alone

“i know you meant that you just liked me as a friend, but is it weird for me to hope that you possibly meant a different way?”

you were completely blindsided by his question

“uhh, actually.. about that…”

after you explained what you truly meant and how you think he’s super interesting and cute, he smiled and returned your feelings

he walked you to your dorm and left after giving you a quick (very cold) peck on the lips

swaying hips

of course i had to do this for this mf

SUCH A FLIRT

as soon as you walked into the classroom he began flirting with you

you sat behind him, and whenever aizawa wasn’t looking, he would slip notes with pick-up lines on them to you

when you returned the note with another pick-up line, he just about short-circuited

unlike everyone else in the class, kaminari assumed that because you were adorable, your quirk was a soft type of quirk

boy was he so wrong

he watched with his jaw on the ground as you sprinted around, not holding back from fighting with kirishima

mineta made some dumb comment about you being sexy with those ears and that tail and that was the first time kaminari told mineta to stfu

as someone who is notorious for hitting on people, his flirting began to slow down once he realized that the reason he wanted to be around you all the time, having the sudden urge to hold you, wanting to call you his, was because he liked you

and he didn’t know what to do at all

he most DEFINITELY didn’t know what to do one particular hot summer day

the bakusquad was hanging out in the common room trying to cool yourselves down

you got up off the floor and walked past kaminari to go to the kitchen for some popsicles

you began to sway your hips as you walked, leaving a very flustered kaminari

“gross, dunce face. if you like that so damn much go chase after them. i’d like to see you try to ask them out.”

“that’s not very manly, bakubro. kaminari, if you really like them, why don’t you just tell them? i’m sure they’d understand,” kirishima gave him a thumbs up as kaminari quite literally sprinted after you

“are you aware of how much you sway your hips when you walk?”

kaminari whispered into your ear as he placed his hands on your hips

“i knew you would notice” you winked at him

his face exploded red in color and he watched you in confusion as you laughed loudly in his face

“i’m kidding. i sway my hips when i walk because i’m a cat. i’m not flirting with you dummy,” you stuck your tongue out at him

“darn, you got me”

…

“hey l/n?”

you turned to face him, and you yelped in surprise as he smashed his lips onto yours

very good kaminari consent is a very good thing 😀👍👍

he pulled away to study your face, only to see your wide eyes and your mouth hanging open

“uh… i’m really sorry i just-”

he was cut off when you locked lips with his again

your tail wrapped around his body, causing him to shock you

he pulled away, grinning, “sorry. you surprised me there-”

“WHAT THE HELL, DUNCE FACE?? I TOLD YOU TO ASK THEM OUT NOT MAKE OUT WITH THEM”

you both sheepishly apologized, watching bakugou storm away, yelling that you two were practically eating each others’ faces

[mochiimiiki]

aaaaaaa okay so can you perhaps write anything i mean anything about xiao receiving flowers, like a whole bouquet of em it can be a story or a scenario im just brain rotting for this guy

A/N: omg gladly my lovely i adore Xiao and this concept is BEAUTIFUL!!! hope u like <3

Warnings: little bit angsty?, fluff, spoilers for zhongli and xiao’s stories

{Xiao x reader}

It was a summer’s eve and the blistering sun had settled in the sky. Painting the once blue canvas in an array of pinks, oranges and yellows that was littered by red hued clouds.

You’d spent the day searching for the rare glaze lily, a gift you prayed to the archons Xiao would smile at. Recently, the Yaksha had been low in spirits and surprisingly no amount of almond tofu could lift them. It was a pity that you had to waste so much mora on the meal.

However, you were quite certain this would put a smile on his face. You knew from Zhonlgi that Glaze lilies along with Qixing and silk flowers were Xiao’s favourite kind of flowers, after all they stemmed all the way back to ancient Liyue.

As you clambered up the stairs to the Wangshu Inn you ran the thought in your mind. Playing on repeat like a broken record. Ancient Liyue. A time when everyone doted upon the Yakshas and the Adepti. Now they were nothing more than a tale in the myths and legends section at the Liyue bookstore, a child story.

However, you knew differently. You’d met not only one of the five original Yakshas but all the Adepti and even the ex geo god himself, Zhongli. All thanks to Xiao.

You were proud to call Xiao your confidant you always came to him with silly mortal requests, tales and woes. Unbeknownst to you Xiao treasured these stories with all his heart. They kept him grounded and made him feel like, even for just a few hours, that he could be a mortal with you.

As you entered the reception room, you were delightfully greeted by both of the Inn’s owners. After all, you had become quite the regular due to your visits to see Xiao.

Upon reaching your destination you remained motionless in the door way. Watching as Xiao stood silently, lost in thought and casting his watchful gaze out into the wilderness of the marsh. As you leaned against the frame of the door you noted that the once ruby red paint had faded to a dull pink and was peeling with age. You gulped silently. The thought drawing you back into the many mysteries of Liyue and how you were still unsure just how old this, essentially, immortal being was.

“I know your there.” Pierced Xiao’s usual monotone voice, a hint of irritation creeping into his words. However, you knew better than to let the tone affect you in anyway... but that didn’t stop the stinging in your heart.

You skipped up to him and brought around the bouquet of flowers. The sickly sweet scent of pristinely pricked plants filtered in through your nose and pulled a sneeze from you. Silently apologising as you handed him the flowers. To which he took, shock written across his usually emotionless face.

“I know this gesture might seem strange to you... but it’s like a get well thing! It’s something us mortals do amongst one another when we get- Oh no are you okay?!”

There before you stood a weepy Xiao. Eons of tears pooling in the brims of his eyes. He quickly turned when he realised you took notice, silently cursing himself for not concealing his feelings better in front of you. “Xiao I’m sorry if you hate them I can take them back!” You fretted anxiously bouncing in your spot, misunderstanding the reason behind his tears.

A low chuckle escaped Xiao’s parted lips and you froze. Why was he laughing? Was this some cruel way that he was going to reveal that he hated you?

“Thank you.”

You gasped and your head shot up to meet Xiao’s amber eyes (now dry from tears) gazing softly at you. The sight made your stomach coil with butterflies. Not once had the Yaksha thanked you before. He usually gave a nod of acknowledgment to which you had grown accustomed to as his own form of a thank you.

Xiao cautiously brought you closer and awkwardly wrapped an arm around you. His gesture was out of character, a complete turn about to what you expected. Your mission had been simply to being a smile to his saddened face. His gesture was one of an awkward hug. It was a concept that he had learned from the people who passed through the Inn.

You knew you could never be with Xiao, not when you had a duty to discover the mysteries behind Teyvat and he bore the burden to protect Liyue for so long as he so lived. But in the moments that you shared with him, ones like these, you could always hope.

[infinites-chaser]

Librarian! PH. 52 MLQC MC / Victor :)

HELLO ANON U WERE ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE TO RESPOND TO MY LIBRARIAN ASK GAME I’M SO SORRY IT’S TAKEN SO LONG,,, victor is just. hard to write. aLSO I'm doubly sorry since i’ll be combining this with the Victor ask from @truth-be-told-im-lying ​ hope neither of you mind T-T i don’t think my mind could do two victor ficlets akwlfjsdkls

ANyway I love you both LOTS AND LOTS hopefully this attempt at Victor isn’t extremely out of character;;; it’s a lowkey soulmates AU if that counts for anything :> aND this fic gets the special treatment of an actual Title bc True was wonderful enough to help me by typing Victor as an Enneagram Type One

okaaay and without further ado, 

49, 52 + Victor/MC

‘[He] wakes up in [his] bed, determined to begin again.’- These Ghosts Are Family, Maisy Card. (pg. 49)

‘As [he] pushes through the onlookers to meet [her], he is certain he is the only person moving.’- These Ghosts Are Family, Maisy Card. (pg. 52)

((pronoun changes in both quotes to better fit the ficlet))

spoilers for Victor/MC’s childhood!

spend my whole life searching

Victor doesn’t believe in soulmates. (After half a lifetime of searching turning up nothing, he doesn’t believe in much.)

Once upon a time, he might’ve. (He wanted to). His heart rate doubled and sped up to match hers— a carefree little girl skipping across the road, too far away to hear his nerves cry danger, too caught up in dreams and fantasies to hear his warning shout. Time slowed down so he could save her, and on that afternoon on the crosswalk, drops of rain suspended in the air, he did.

At that age, he hadn’t had the sense to wonder why a young girl like her had been crossing the street without supervision. Why her smiles had come freely, but had always looked a little sad, a little wistful. Why she’d been so eager to accept his baked treats. Why she’d been at the playground without a parent. Why she’d always been alone.

Now, seventeen years later, he wishes he did. Wishes he’d known something as simple as her last name.

He dreams of her. Of finding her again: the girl whose heartbeat matched his. The girl whose smile had slowed down time itself for him, as if short moments with her could’ve each stretched into a gentle eternity. He’d wanted them to. He’d wanted to capture every moment spent with her, to make them last, to savor them, so they’d pass slow and sweet like honey on the tongue.

Time had passed slow when he’d wanted it to. Those sunlit afternoons had been sweet, they’d been happy.

Only, time is a fickle thing. When he takes his eye off it, it races away, too fast for him to keep up.

The kidnapping. The experiments. The torture.

The escape.

She saves him. He’s too slow to save her.

And even if he can stop time, here’s the thing: he can never turn the clock back.

Still, he wakes up. Every morning, he gets out of bed. Gets dressed and goes to work. The world around him moves on, and demands he does, too, even if his heart’s still eleven years old and clutching her motionless body, eleven years old, the only sound in his ears his pounding pulse, the absence of the accompaniment of hers an accusation more painful than any hateful words.

It’s a recurring theme in his life, time. It’s ironic, really, when he thinks about it. That he can stop time without lifting a finger, and yet, when it comes to things he cares about, people he loves most, he’s always eleven years old again, always too late.

(His Evol’s time control, but perhaps, all this time, he hasn’t been controlling time, it’s been controlling him. He’s imprisoned by a single moment, a memory, a regret. A past that can never be undone.)

Whenever he has spare time, he devotes himself to searching. Resigns himself to the fact he’ll probably never find her, if all he has to go off of is a child’s face, once preserved in his memory, now fading. Hair color. Eye color. Age. A name. Nothing more.

The searches turn up nothing. 

He spends late nights in the office to distract himself, builds up a capitalist kingdom of a company, if only to put off for a few hours more the prospect of returning home to face his nightmares alone.

His father praises him for LFG’s growth over dinners filled with awkward silences. The name Victor Li appears more and more often in business newspapers. Investors approach him. He gets interviews. Gets offers for TV appearances, for sponsorships.

He takes them, these material successes. Wonders if any amount of them could ever make up for the failure from his childhood. If they could bring her back. He tells himself if he finds her, when he finds her, when he brings her back, it’ll be to a more perfect world. One in which he’ll never fail her again. It’s a foolish thought, but it keeps him going. With it in mind, he proceeds to work twice as hard.

Souvenir is what saves him. A small allowance, a self-indulgence, a seed of hope planted in what he thinks is his darkest time.

It’s for her, more than any of his frantic searching ever was. A dream, a foolish one, that one day she’ll step through his memories and through the restaurant’s door, that one day they’ll share a pudding together again, their hearts beating as one.

He doesn’t get to open Souvenir often; his job doesn't let him. He made sure of that, long ago. But when he does, after the last customer’s left, and he’s put up the closed sign, he cooks for two.

(The first time, Mr. Mills had taken a single look at his silent, still face, and his expression must've spoken volumes. The older man hadn't said a word, only helped clean the kitchen after, the normally gentle lines around his mouth pulled taut in a worried frown.)

He sets the second place at the table himself: carefully places fork, knife and spoon beside lukewarm appetizers, tucks a napkin under soup bowls going cold. Watches the empty seat and the untouched meal for an eternity before finally eating his own. His technique's impeccable. It has been ever since he'd aced his culinary lessons, since he'd bought out the school. He'd used the finest ingredients. He always does.

The food still crumbles like ash in his mouth. (It always does.)

Mr. Mills will find him there, nursing a glass of wine long into the night. He knows better not to question it, but sometimes he'll pull up a chair, drink a glass, too. talk of everything and nothing, talk of his parents, his sister's family, of times gone by.

Victor will never admit it, but the older man's presence makes those nights less hard. his stories, his memories — they keep the ice in his heart from spreading any further when it feels like nothing else will.

Ten years stretch into thirteen, into fourteen, into fifteen, into a broken clock, time stopped because does the passage of time mean anything if he measures it, measured it in time with her? If she's gone?

The meals shrink. First appetizers vanish, then entrees too, until all that's left are desserts, puddings that he stares at all evening, puddings a girl had loved once, that he can almost imagine her sitting there eating, her noticing him watching her and her answering blush and smile. His smile back.

Almost, because after all these years without her, he can’t quite imagine her face. Not as she would look now. Not even as she was, seventeen years back.

(He dreams and finds he doesn’t remember what her smile looked like, exactly. Doesn’t remember the sound of her heartbeat mingling with the sound of his.

Memory is cruel. Memory is imperfect. No matter if you can stop time, no matter how hard you try to memorize a moment, when you revisit it, it’ll never be the same as when you lived it the first time.)

Then:

The day starts like any other. He wakes up, gets out of bed, gets ready for another day of work, another night of searching. He scrolls emails while waiting for his espresso machine to heat, then puts his tablet aside when the coffee's done. He eats in silence. As always, he's done five minutes before he needs to leave for the company, the perfect amount of time for him to do a last-minute check in the mirror— his tie's straight, his shirt unwrinkled, not a hair on his head out of place. The reflection that stares back at him is unchanging; these days it barely shows even the passage of time.

He sighs. Shakes the thought off like the piece of lint it is on his otherwise immaculate state of being, and heads for the door, the lock automatically clicking behind him at eight o'clock am, exactly on schedule, exactly as planned.

He's about to take a seat in his car when an inexplicable urge to walk to work takes hold of him. He pauses. Calculates and re-calculates the time it would take (fifteen minutes, not accounting for rush hour traffic making crosswalks slow), and he's about to decide it's not worth it, it's a silly thought, but the urge intensifies.

Do it, the eleven-year-old in his heart seems to be telling him. You won't regret it.

He frowns and rubs his forehead— for a moment, he wonders if all his searching, all his foolish hopes are finally getting to his brain.

He decides to take the walk, anyway.

He regrets it, not nine minutes later, when despite the sun's light shining strong through the clouds, a light rain begins to fall.

Worse still, the traffic lights haven't changed once in the past ninety seconds. He won't be late, he'd accounted for this, but he's stuck in a crowd of pedestrians, and their chatter's beginning to grate on his nerves. He's considering calling the mayor about it after exactly one hundred seconds have passed— clearly, the light's broken, this is far too long for commuters to wait— but then, finally the walk sign flicks on.

He's already across the street when it happens:

First, a phone rings.

Then, the loud honking of a car.

Tires screech.

Time slows. Time stops.

He's back on the crosswalk in a matter of heartbeats, the inattentive idiot in his arms (it's a girl, it's always a girl, hair dark, eyes wide, expression shocked).

"You..." She says, blinking up at him with those wide, almost-familiar eyes. Distantly, he registers the echo of a heartbeat overlapping with his.

"Who are you?"

Who are you? His mind asks, but deep in his heart, he already knows the answer. It can't be.

"Evolver?" He says instead, shoving down memories that threaten to surface: another rainy day, another crosswalk, another heart that had seemed matched to his. He tells himself he's being delusional, that he thinks he can hear her heartbeat because she's in his arms, wide-eyed and fragile, her heartrate skittering back and forth like a fool— this isn't like his careful, methodical searching, this is a fluke beyond flukes, it means nothing, it'll lead to nothing in the end.

But she's in his arms, warm and soft against his protective embrace, she's in his arms and it feels so right it's almost painful, his pulse pulled into a panicked pace to match hers.

He sets her down abruptly, as if burned, and turns to go.

"Someone can't come to your rescue every time."

Around them, suspended raindrops begin to fall. The world, resumed. The world, once again predictable and mundane. Except for her.

He knows, without looking back, she's staring after him, her heart, his heart, still racing.

He allows himself a smile.

He allows himself some small sliver of hope.

(His frozen time starts moving again.)

[setoangel01-fanfiction]

Gardening

Fandom: Final Fantasy 7

Pairing: Zack Fair x Aerith Gainsborough (zerith)

Rated: T

Story Summary: Zack brings Aerith a priceless gift, and during so, he's also unknowingly fulfilling many more of her tiny little wishes…she'll just have to think up some more. AKA, flowers get planted and a love flourishes…

...

A03

FanFiction.net

....

Today was going to be perfect.

The fresh scent of topsoil, the earth fragrant and fresh with new life begging to be nurtured under her experienced hands. The small seeds in paper packets and blooming bulbs in trays were nearly enough to bring tears of happiness to Aerith's rich green eyes.

Yet the euphoria she was feeling was nothing but a blip to the full force of the sun that was Zackary Fair.

It was amazing! Her SOLDIER came to visit her at her house rather than her church. Nothing new, but today was different! Instead of only being able to stay for an hour or two before being called off to save Midgar from certain doom, Zack was free to spend the entire day with her - the general's orders! Zack had to even show her Sephiroth's text to prove it and there it was in black and white.

...

"r u sure, seph?"

"For the third and last time, yes, Zackary. I am more than capable of handling things at ShrinRa for one day. Now, instead of continuing to inundate me with fruitless texts, go and have a pleasant day with your female companion."

"but seph! what if u need heelp?"

"That's an order, Fair!"

"...k thanks! see u 2maro! =-D"

"Affirmative. My office for briefing at 700 sharp."

"u got it!"

....

…Wow.

While wanting to reprimand Zack for using such terrible language and grammar to communicate with his superior officer, Aerith completely ignored it to focus on the amazing news! Spending the entire day with Zack was such an exceptionally rare treat she was fully determined to cherish; anting to savor every single, last solitary moment with her handsome blue-eyed boyfriend.

Yet among the gift of his own sunny presence (which would have been plenty enough for her), today, Zack came bearing physical gifts.

Unlike other girls, Aerith had never been someone to care for expensive trinkets to showcase affection such as jewellery, new clothes or purses even if Zack could easily afford it with his First Class paycheck. No, Aerith was far simpler; wanting nothing more than to spend time with him - and she always told him so. The most luxurious thing Zack had bought for her thus far was the bright pink ribbon she scarcely removed from her hair and some delightful floral perfume he mixed himself when they went out on their first date.

Yet instead of some fancy baubles or silk clothing peeking out at her from a large brown box he held out to her was something completely unexpected…

…Zack brought her flowers!

While she grew plenty of her own, Zack had brought her something she could have never found here - flowers cultivated outside of Midgar!

Zack had been deployed on so many missions all over Gaia lately, Junon, Costa Del Sol, and Kalm just to name a few. During these times, they would talk on the phone, text or he would simply send photos to her PHS from locations during his travels. In those small photos he sent, Aerith lit up seeing all the native fauna of the place where he happened to be staying and the flower pictures became a tradition between them. Whenever he'd leave on a mission, he left with a goodbye kiss and a promise to send her pictures of flowers that grew there, and for this past year, he had kept that promise.

But as Zack slowly tilted the box to present her with its contents, Aerith was nothing short of stunned.

Inside were multiple packets of seeds and bags of bulbs. All of the white and brown packaging had his adorably messy handwriting on each with the names of flowers he had sent her pictures of throughout the last year. Deciphering his writing, Aerith noticed the names of more common species from Kalm and Junon but among the packets, there were exotic species from Wutai and even from Banora. Oh! And there were sunflower seeds from Rocket Town!

But…wait, was that -

"...Gongaga?" Aerith asked, noticing the word and glancing up at her boyfriend questioningly.

"Heh. Yeah," Zack chuckled and Aerith noticed his right arm twitch as if he wanted to scratch the back of his head if his hands weren't occupied.

"...Wait, you went to visit your parents? You never told me that! How are they? When did you go see them?" the questions flew out of her mouth at an alarming rate.

Zack just smiled softly (he had such a wonderful smile), "I didn't."

At Aerith's befuddled expression, he clarified, "My mom actually sent them. I wrote her a letter about you - I told her my girlfriend loves to garden and grows flowers and well, the next thing I know, she's sending me back a letter with all these questions along with some seeds from the flowers she and my dad have been growing in the backyard since I was a kid." Zack chuckled nervously as if shy from the information and Aerith felt as if her heart was going to jump straight out of her chest.

Blinking, Aerith glanced back down to the box cradled in his hands, all the work of gathering seeds, drying them and labeling them must have taken forever and he never told her what he was doing!

How he listened so intently as she spoke during the time they spent together this past year, asked questions and was so genuinely interested about her hobby when most times, she thought he was simply indulging her. Yet he was learning so he could give this gift to her… Not to mention the bombshell of him writing a letter to his parents and mentioning her! Proudly calling her his girlfriend and even mentioning her hobbies!

A burning sensation grew in the back of her eyes and she felt a tear slip down her cheek.

"Uh…Aer, i-is everything alright?" Zack's voice broke thorough and she looked up at his adorably nervous face.

"...You really wrote a letter to your mom about m-me?"

"Well, yeah! And my dad too I guess. Uh…I-Is that okay? I thought it would be good to mention it since we've been together for over a year and she's been badgering me about telling her about you when I call, so I figured mentioning flowers would be a safe start-" Zack's voice faded as Aerith lifted her hands and gently cupped his sweet face between her palms. Not mindful of the tears that continually slipped down her cheeks, Aerith couldn't help but smile at Zack, a smile so wide, it made her cheeks ache.

…How did she get so lucky to have this beautiful angel literally drop into her life?

"It's more than okay. It's wonderful…You're wonderful…" she whispered, her thumbs brushing over his cheekbones and tenderly caressing the scar on his jaw.

Aerith smiled tenderly as she felt his cheeks heat up under her palms. Zack's looked positively (and adorably) flustered at her comments; for once, she was the one to embarrass him and she relished it.

"Thanks… So are you," Zack replied, nuzzling his cheek against her palm. Such a sweet puppy…

Zack's face was so handsome and kind and eyes pretty and warm that Aerith simply couldn't resist pushing herself up on her tiptoes to kiss him. But before she even get close to closing the gap, her chest bumped right into the cardboard box and Zack yelped as he managed to catch it before it could fall or the seeds could get crushed between them as she regained her balance.

Zack laughed.

Aerith flushed a pink so deep it matched her ribbon.

Probably noticing how Aerith tensed in mortification of her actions, Zack's chuckling died out and he easily broke the tension by suggesting, "Hey, I'm all for kissing later, but how about we plant some of these first?" he nudged her hip softly with the box.

Aerith's face was still reddened but she flashed him a grateful smile. A deep breath later, the green eyed girl straightened her back and easily played along, "Planting new flowers sounds wonderful! But… you'll do exactly as I say this time? Because, Mr. Zackary Fair, if memory serves me right, I remember the last time you helped me try weeding the church…" she placed her hands on her hips and flashed him her best withering stare (it didn't work, he just bit his cheek to withhold laughter).

The longer she stared, Zack's grew sheepish at the memory of that fiasco, his cheeks a bright coral red against his tan skin, "Uh… well, in my defense, all those green stems look the same to me!"

Aerith's withering glare worked this time.

"Oh! O-Of course I'll follow your orders exactly! After all, you're the professional here! Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it!" he announced with determination and a blinding white smile.

"Yay! Just what I love to hear!" she bounced on her toes and clapped, completely breaking character before jumping right back in it with a stern voice, "Alright, First Class SOLDIER, Zack Fair, I order you to plant some flowers and perhaps do some weeding, but make sure to do it correctly this time! Do I make myself clear?"

"Ma'am, yes, Ma'am! Operation Midgar Full of Flowers, Wallet Full of Money shall commence immediately!" Zack stated loudly, finally maneuvered the box under one arm and gave her a full SOLDIER salute with rigid stance and stern expression.

Aerith just giggled into her palms before pushing at his shoulder as Zack yelped when the box nearly went flying out of his arms again.

.....

Scratch that earlier statement - today was definitely perfect.

A few hours later, the couple were knelt in a patch of soft dirt.

The rich brown loam permeating the air and making the normally rank Midgar air sweet and fragrant with the scent of flourishing life. Aerith was barefoot, boots discarded as she dug her toes into the cool grass and merely enjoyed the soft breeze as her fingers raked through the dirt under her palms. The brown soil staining her fingertips and getting under her nails and most likely staining the white and blue dress caught under her knees, but she couldn't care less.

Looking to her left was nothing short of perfection.

The flowers and grass, soil and the promise of new life with every seed planted didn't much matter compared to the man kneeling right next to her. Aerith smiled softy. Her emerald green eyes tracing over Zack's handsome face as he had his complete attention on the soil in front of him. While Zack was known to have the attention span of a puppy on a sugar rush most times, when he put his heart into something, Zack easily gave 110% of focus on that task like he was right now.

Ever so carefully, the SOLDIER listened to her instructions, following her along as she showed him how to plant the seeds he gave her. Till the soil, dig the holes to make sure they were deep enough and far enough apart not to interfere with the seedling next to them. Showed him how much water to give the freshly buried seeds, the perfect amount as to not dehydrate nor to drown. With each step and seed and bulb that he planted, his confidence grew until he was doing it on his own and Aerith couldn't be prouder of her first student!

Heart hammering as she took in Zack's concentrated expression, Aerith took his moment of distraction to complete what she tried earlier - this time with much more success.

Leaning forward on her knees, Aerith gingerly pressed her palms to his broad chest. The incredible firm large pecs under her wandering fingers inflated with Zack's surprised intake of breath as he looked at her in surprise at her forward action. Still retaining her nerve, Aerith grasped at his leather suspender straps, using them for balance as she eagerly pressed her lips against the corner of his plush smiling mouth.

The SOLDIER smiled warmly at her action. Hands wanting nothing to grab at her waist to pull her closer and kiss her properly but with the dirt covering his fingers, he resisted. Instead, he chased her retreating face, brushing his cheek on hers before letting his lips leave feathery strokes along her jaw before planting the softest kiss by her ear.

"What was that for? You trying to distract me?" he whispered and he bit his lip upon feeling her shiver as she nuzzled her face in his neck.

Aerith whole body felt electrified at Zack's question and his warm breath caressing her throat and loose tendrils of hair hanging by her ears. "No. Not really… What if I said I just wanted to?"

"...Oh really?" he asked, pulling back slightly and Aerith mourned the loss of his warmth for only a second as she caught his coy smile."Because if I didn't know better, I think you're just distracting me from gardening…"

"What if I am?" her mouth spoke before her brain even registered it. The words that left her mouth made her flush.

"Hmm... well, if that's the case, I'd say you win," he affirmed with the sexiest smirk she ever saw but before she could respond, Zack's mouth pressed against hers. His head tilting so he could slot his mouth perfectly against hers; the action had her toes curling against the grass as she bit back a rising moan. Aerith's hands grabbed at his raven hair, fingers eagerly cording through soft strands and desperately grasping at him to pull him closer.

Yet all too soon, Zack pulled his mouth away with a sinful pop as Aerith panted frantically, cheeks flushed and confused and a bit miffed that he dared to stop.

"So, since we're almost finished planting the dahlia's, how about we move over this hill and plant the sunflowers near the bridge?" Zack asked all too naturally before flashing her a devious wink.

Aerith was affronted for only a moment before she glared at him, "Nope. I'm in charge, remember?" with little hesitation, Aerith gently pushed aside the remaining seeds and bulbs and pushed Zack onto his back. The SOLDIER easily caving to her hands as she pressed at his shoulders til he rested among the soft grass, the bright green a beautiful contrast to his dark hair. "And I say that you're not allowed to get up until I say so, am I making myself clear, SOLDIER?

"Oh, yes..." he grunted lightly for show as she plopped down on his stomach guard. "Crystal clear, ma'am," he replied biting back a chuckle before she leaned over him and kissed him for all he was worth.

...After all, the seeds could always wait to be planted later…

[sugawara-sweetheart]

helllo helooooo wonderful person!!! ok so this is the one with my fave hq ladies. could u do one with a f!reader and their first time getting a tattoo and the artist working on her is like super edgy and awesome. with kiyoko and alisa pls !! (and anyone else of your choosing hihi) - lov, ur goatman 💗

thank you for the requests my breast friend goatman💞it’s so fun writing for these beautiful ladies i hope i get more wlw requests!! i hope you enjoy this!

getting tattoos by edgy tattoo artist | kiyoko & alisa

shimizu kiyoko:

a tattoo was something you’d been interested in getting since you were young and when you finally could, you were thrilled to get it

but whilst you expected to be nervous of the needles at least, you didn’t expevct to be nervous because of the tattoo artist

you’d met her before for consultations on the sketch of your tattoo and you were a flustered, jittery mess over the beautiful woman

she was gorgeous, her grey eyes twinkling and her milky skin decorated with small beautiful tattoos- some japanese characters along her bicep, little crow silhouettes along her collarbones, some dainty hearts on the inside of her wrists and flowers along those beautiful long fingers

and the silver earrings that adorned her eyes and the flash of silver of her tongue piercing? so fucking awesome

you were captivated by her and it didn’t help that her sweet, soothing voice made you feel weak in the knees

so on the day of getting the tattoo, you’re fidgeting with anxiety on the black stretcher as kiyoko sets up the needles and inks

you don’t think she’d notice how your knee keeps bouncing and how your hands tremble so it’s surprising when she leaves the equipment and moves to stand in front of you, smiling gently

“you don’t have to be scared.” you’re stunned when she takes your clammy hands into her warm ones, stroking over the skin gently as you feel butterflies flutter in your stomach. “i know it’s your first time but it’ll be okay, i’ll go slow for you.”

true to her words, kiyoko starts off slowly and carefully, giving you reassuring smiles as she works the needle on your upper arm, breathing in tune with you

but she’s so close to you, your face is heating up and you’re getting jittery because she was already so beautiful but- holy fuck! she’s even better up close and she’s touching you and fuck fuck fuck-

you literally stop thinking when you feel those small latex-clad fingers stroke the underside arm of your arm, rubbing soothing circles

your eyes widen as you stare at kiyoko, her pretty eyes fluttering up to meet yours with a graceful smile adorning her beautiful face

“relax for me.” with her telling you in her soothing voice, how can you not?

once the tattoo is completed and she’s bandaging it up gently, you’re exhilarated with the adrenaline shooting through you, filling you with thoughtless courage

“you’re really beautiful and thank you so much for doing my tattoo, i love it so much and i like you and i’d take you on a date if-” you suddenly cut off with embarrassment, looking away sheepishly

but then kiyoko’s giggling and it’s such a beautiful giggle you can’t help but smile too even if your cheeks are burning

“i’d love to go on a date.” she says softly, reaching for a business card to scribble her number on. “call me.” she smiles, her warm fingers grazing yours as she hands you the small piece of card

alisa haiba:

your friends had decided on a whim that they wanted a tattoo and whilst it’s something you had always considered, you didn’t expect to be sat on the couch of a tattoo parlour browsing through pages of a portfolio to choose a tattoo design

your friends had already chosen theirs and were off behind curtains, the buzzing of tattoo guns audible

you’re nervous, not sure what to get when there’s footsteps and your eyes widen

you’re not sure if you’re terrified or in love when your eyes settle on the woman before you. she has strips of blue in her platinum blonde hair, silver across her entire ear lobe and her arms are painted in entire sleeves of vibrant tattoos

the way she’s staring at you so hardly makes your heart stop but then she grins and you think you’ve seen an actual angel, even with the silver flashes of her smiley piercing

“hi!” she beams cheerfully. “i’m alisa! wow, you’re pretty.” she gasps as she leans close to you, her wide green eyes lined with thick eyeliner and lashes raking over your features, making you visibly flustered. “aw, you’re so cute! i’m so happy i get to do your tattoo!”

you’re sheepish as you tell her you haven’t chosen one and this is your first time but alisa doesn’t mind

she leans over your shoulder, filling your nose with her sweet floral scent, as she picks out pretty sketches she thinks you’d like

and squeals with excitement when you finally choose one, settling to have it on your collarbone

as she’s setting up equipment, she chats along excitedly and breathlessly, asking you plenty of questions so that you don’t even have a chance to feel nervous

especially when you notice sometimes her questions will be bordering on a certain topic

“so you don’t have a s/o? i see.” she looks down to arrange the inks but you can see her smile

alisa smirks when she’s ready to start tattooing because she’s stood so close to you, she definitely flashes you a little wink

“ready, y/n? you’re going to look so good!”

she’s very gentle as she tattoos, her smile fading to a small frown of concentration, her little pink tongue dipping out as she works the tattoo needles on you

she asks you often if you’re okay, pausing even if it’s a small tattoo to ensure you’re okay and gives you encouraging smiles and praise that makes you heart flutter

“you’re doing so well for me, darling.” she grins cheekily when your cheeks heat up a bit too much at the nickname

she also probably puts on some music to help you relax, singing along with you and making you giggle when she goes slightly off-key that you’re grinning and having such a good time you’re forgetting about the pain across your collarbone

once it’s done, she barely places the bandage over it and grins just as wide as you do when you’re pleased with it

“i think it looks beautiful, just like you.” she giggles as you’re getting up to leave. she follows you out into the main bit of the parlour where you rejoin your friends

“when will you come for your next tattoo?” she asks, tilting her head as you laugh shyly

“i’m not sure yet.” alisa pouts before suddenly she’s grabbing a business card and scribbling her number down

“well, i cannot wait indefinitely to see you again so here,” you splutter, speechless, when she hands you her number with a wink. “see you soon, cutie. don’t keep waiting me too long.”

oh and trust me, with the way she had your heart beating so fast, she won’t be waiting for long at all

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[utterlyinevitable]

imagine this

Ethan Ramsey and MC BOTH inhale the mitotoxin and Ethan has a death scare...angsty

why u always killing these characters ??? 🤣

sinking suspicion that my hc’s are just less detailed fics 🤔 am i do headcanons right??? 

Ethan Inhales the Mitotoxin

Ethan stared at MC through the window. It was just the two of them left. 

The two more-than-colleagues shared the same look of utter despair and heartache. 

“Can I stay with you tonight?” he asked.  MC was grateful yet skeptical, “They won’t need you in the lab?”  “I can be of more use here.” 

Ethan wouldn’t tell her that his mind wouldn’t be able to focus - he was fighting the whole day between his professionalism and his feelings for the resident. At the forefront of his desires was running to her side and wishing he could take all her pain away. Absolve it all. 

He threw on the hazmat suit and made his way to her as quickly as possible. There was no second to waste. 

They talked. 

They shared regrets. 

They finally spoke their true feelings in such small words in the room that’s taken almost everything from them. It was only a matter of time before he lost her too.

Ethan climbed into bed and held her as best he could in the bulky hazmat suit. 

And she tried not to cry as she told him she wished she could kiss him one last time. That she could count every time their lips met in the most perfect synchronization on one hand. That she’d give anything to have him one more time. Even if that one thing was her life. She wanted to love him and have that love, unashamed, returned for once. [i’m not crying as i write this line nope no i’m not] 

Holding her in the cramped twin-sized bed. Not being able to feel the warmth of her skin against his. Ethan wanted all of that as well. He wanted her and more. 

The way she was looking up at him, fragile and broken and yet still the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, he made a decision. 

He’d be damned if these were their last moments together. 

Against all rationality, Ethan removed his helmet. 

“No! What’re you doing? Are you stupid?” MC freaked out through her compressed breaths. 

She tried to pull away from him, to put as much distance between their bodies as she could.  

Ethan pulled her closer; “Yes. But I’m not letting you go.” 

They stared at one another for a moment. She couldn’t believe he was jumping into the unknown, risking every thing he has worked his entire life for. Risking it all for a few moments with her. 

She tentatively raised her hand up, wanting so badly to cup his face. To feel the coarse stubble against her skin. 

But she knew she couldn’t. The toxin was all over her and he was already at risk of inhalation. 

Ethan saw the hesitation as her hand froze in midair. He guided her palm to his cheek. 

Their eyes locked on contact. 

Neither closed their eyes as they savored the feeling. They wanted to see - to catalog and remember - every moment of this. For as long as they had left.  

And she started to cry the second his warmth met her palm. 

The tears slowly fell down her tired, so tired, features. 

Ethan reached out to catch them on his thickly gloved hand. His thumbs on the apples of her cheeks and fingers cradling the back of her head. 

He swallowed.

His ocean eyes searched her. 

And as he looked he realized he was holding his whole world in his hands. 

So Ethan pulled her closer to him. He trailed one of his hands down to her waist and slipped it around the small of her back. He needed her closer. 

The whole time MC’s fingers twirled and grasped the strands of his hair, reveling in the feeling of the soft locks of the man she loved. Her other hand finding home on his chest, counting the faint thumps of his heart. 

And yet she wasn’t close enough for Ethan’s liking. 

In one failsafe movement, he swept to press his lips to hers. 

He kissed her. 

He kissed her in the middle of the apocalypse - in the middle of Pompeii as Vesuvius’ ash rolled closer and closer.

It didn’t matter. The toxin didn’t matter. None of it mattered because he had her.  

If she was fading he would follow. 

As much as Ethan Ramsey hated Romeo & Juliet, he never identified with the star-crossed lovers more. 

He would follow her into the dark. 

She broke them apart with a heavy gasp, needing air all too soon. 

He let her take the deepest breaths; his kisses making up for lost time at her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, and the spot under her ear in the meantime. 

And they kissed some more. 

They held one another all night as MC snuggled up against him. Her forehead pressed against the warmth of his cheek, keeping them connected. 

There wasn’t a single second since he took the mask off that they weren’t skin to skin. 

As they lay there, the humming of the machines drowning out serenity, Ethan began to feel the side effects of his irrationality settling in. 

MC could hear the panic in the irregular beating of his heart. 

“Regretting your stupid decision?”  “I could never regret time spent with you,” he told her honestly. 

She rambled on about how he shouldn’t have done it, no matter what. That this wasn’t worth the both of them dying. 

Ethan begged to differ. 

But now wasn’t the time to tell her he’s irrevocably in love with her. That, hidden in his earlier regrets is that he may never get the chance to tell her. 

With every certain fiber left in his failing body Ethan asserted, “We’re not going to die.”  “Ethan... I’ve come to terms with it. I’m okay.”  

She leaned over and kissed him again. It was languid, slow and lingering, spilling every unsaid feeling into the kiss as if they had all the time in the world to work through their issues.  

And in the distance she could hear Sienna screaming. 

“Doctor Ramsey! What are you doing!?” 

The pair didn’t break away quick enough to notice the tiny resident at the window. 

Quicker than lightening Sienna searched around for a spare suit while paging June and Baz to make their way upstairs. 

“Great you’re together.” Sienna let a small congratulatory remark slip before the fire in her eyes took hold. She turned fully to Ethan, making certain he saw deep into her eyes, “What the hell! Do you have a death wish? I cannot lose another friend tonight.” 

And the weight of what he’s done finally came to fruition. 

Ethan didn’t care. He was selfish. He didn’t say goodbye to anyone who could be affected by his impulsive decisions. He didn’t patch things up with his dad before he’d gone. 

“Take off your suit. I’m going to take your vitals,” Sienna commanded.

June and Baz arrived. Both were a little surprised Ethan would do something so bold, though June was less shocked than Baz. Neither dared to ask why their boss would do something so irresponsible. The intention was staring them right in the face. 

Right in the way MC and Ethan kept in contact. 

Even as he stripped off the suit she had her hand on his back. As Sienna took his vitals his fingers laced with hers. As he explained his symptoms and MC began to fade, he wrapped an arm around her and tucked her safely against his chest. 

With jaws on the floor the doctors made their way back down to the lab to tell everyone they had another patient. 

Ethan and MC allowed themselves the small whispers and pillow talk of finally getting to spend the night together. 

After all these months they could be happy together. They could forget everything except for their bodies pressed firmly against one another, their arms clasped behind the others back. The feeling of the others shallow breaths and drumming heart lulling them to sleep. 

He ran his fingers through her hair, loosing himself in the sensations he’s had dreams about for the better part of the last year. He placed a kiss to to top of her head, letting it linger. Letting her natural smell engulf him. 

No matter what happens he wants to remember every aspect of her. 

And eventually, Ethan let himself sleep. 

He was jolted awake by a tightening in his chest and need to vomit. He leaned over the bed and let the bile fall into the wastebasket. Then he sent an ‘911’ message on his pager. 

MC rubbed her eyes awake, terrified as he keeled over onto the floor. Whatever strength was left in her body she exerted to get herself to him. She sat next to him and rubbed his back, whispering sweet nothings of “It’ll be alright. It’ll pass.”  

The despondent look he gave her sent a chill down her spine. 

No. 

He reached out and touched her face one last time. 

If he wasn’t gasping for air he would have said the words. 

Ethan didn’t need to say them, she felt them in the blue of his irises and the way the lines of his face smoothed out. He was slipping through her fingertips and yet he never looked so sure, so serene. 

Then he collapsed. 

And MC cried. She cried so much she couldn’t see through her tears as she tried to check his vitals - checking for breaths, and mustering her strength to roll him on his side. 

And soon enough the team was suited up. 

Tobias, June, Baz and Aurora entered the isolation room. Aurora held MC back as the other three lifted Ethan onto a gurney. 

They plugged him with oxygen. 

And as they wheeled him away June shared a sorrowful look with the forlorn resident.  

________________________________________

Masterlist

Perma:

@rookiemarsswiftie @lucy-268 @binny1985 @thegreentwin @queencarb @danijimenezv @starrystarrytrouble @terrm9 @interobanginyourmom @adrex04 @maurine07 @mercury84choices @schnitzelbutterfingers @theeccentricbibliophile @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @kaavyaethanramsey @mvalentine @rookie-ramsey @drariellevalentine @lifeaskim @otherworldlypresents @therookie @aylaramseycarrera @angela8754 @fireycookie @stateofgracious

Ethan:

@udishaman @honeyandsunfl0wers @hutchereverlark23 @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @blossomanarchy @claredal424 @caseyvalentineramsey @rookieoh @openheartthot @senseofduties @lilyvalentine @tsrookie @kalogh @aworldoffandoms @takemyopenheart @casey-v @ramseyandrys​ @peaceinmidstofchaos​ @ethanramseylover​ @ramseyreader​  @a-crepusculo​

[angelicmichael]

Hoax - Prologue

Michael Langdon x Mallory

Summary: After failing to kill murder house Michael; Mallory must travel back in time to Sojourn era to try again. However; she finds to her horrific discovery that jumping through time repeatedly does not come without its consequences.

Words: 3.0k+

Warnings: Death, They both almost die (or do die) so.. a lot of describing wounds and nearly dying and that jazz ✌🏻, major wounds, lowkey a dark fic, Mallory discusses wanting to kill Michael and finds celebrates it??, angst, Mallory goes and sees his dead body, blood

A/N: this takes place right after Mallory drives away from Michael in the finale btw!! I literally didnt intend on making it this dark but it just happened LOL. I feel like most of the dark stuff is vague so.. it should still be chill. This is the first time ive written millory/character x character so please go easy on me!! I also tried to follow canon and stay accurate to details the best I could but knowing me I probably fucked up somehow LMAO but enjoy 💖💖 major plot twist is coming in the next chapter btw! Also Mallorys thots are italicized.

As soon as Mallory drove away; she knew nearly immeadietly that it was too good to be true. Things could never be this fucking easy.

She felt a pit in her stomach almost instantaneously once she was in the year 2015; Even though she couldnt decipher if the anxiety was a warning or something else.. She continued on with the dark destiny she was put on this earth to fulfull.. to kill the antichrist.

Even though she was fully aware of this; and had come to terms with what she had to do - she learned the hard way that it didnt seem to make things easier at all; like how she dreamed it would. Although, even now as she continued to speed away from the infamous 'murder house', the drop in her stomach seemed to only grow; along with her self doubt.

Was he really dead??

Did I really do it??

She knew that the answer to both of those questions should be yes; but the longer she remained driving in her car, getting farther and farther away from where the incident had occured.. she knew something was wrong.

Mallory suddenly jolted the steering wheel into a sharp left; continuing to turn it until she was doing U-Turn.. She couldnt help but to feel completly bewildered at her own actions - never doing something so impulsive, like going back to a crime scene let alone commit murder, in her life.

Although Mallory felt a bit disgusted with her recent previous actions; she couldnt help but imagine how disgusted she would feel with herself if she didnt pull this off. She mulled over the previous thoughts she had had about this moment and how dreamed it would feel; she thought she would feel joy, elated, and at peace but.. instead she still felt as if she was being suffocated by his presence.

He wasnt gone. Not yet.

She pressed her foot down on the gas, she knew she hadn't gone too far away from Michael's residence yet it seemed as if it was a millenia away. The task she was supposed to complete was starting to seem more and more increasingly impossible the less distance was put between them.

If running him over with a car three times wasnt enough to kill him, whose to say anything else would? What if Constance had brought him inside?? What if she was still out there with him?? Mourning?

Mallory wasnt a monster; she wasnt going to tear away a dying boy from his grandmother in his (hopefully) final moments, even if he was the antichrist.

She felt as if she was a total loss for what to do; which made her grow sick to her stomach because she knew that was a cruel form of denial. She was destined for this moment; every moment thus far had led up to this.. so why did she feel like such a failure? Her thoughts grew more foggy and distant with panic; her throat became entirely dry as she slowed the car down. The murder house now in view; the first thing she noticed.

The red bricks and stained glass windows shined brightly in the sun. The house, which Mallory was sure typically looked beautiful, radiated a terrifying aura.. even more so this time versus when she was here only a mere minutes ago. The expanse and exterior of the house was intimidating; it held a certain danger to it that she couldnt pinpoint her finger on where the source came from.. it certainly was not Michael. Mallory knew that even if he wasnt dead; his powers would fade out for atleast a few minutes from being so wounded.

Mallory stopped the car once she saw Michael's dead body; which still resided in the middle of the road. Her feelings of panic and nausea only amplified once she saw his body -  her gaze lingering upon it. She approached him with no hesitation; she could nearly feel that he was gone.. his spirit momentarily missing.. somewhere else.

She studied him carefully and nearly pitifully as she crouched down to kneel next to his body. His body was littered and splattered with bright red wounds. His pants looked as if they were dip dyed in red paint; His once pale skin along with the majority of his clothes was covered in a bright red splatter. Long, dark red lacerations decorated his face. His mouth was still agape; his once white teeth were coated in the same shade of red his clothes were.

Even though he looked absolutely horrible; Mallory still felt absolutely no remorse for the antichrist. Knowing what he would become, and his sick ways of manipulation deserved no mercy. However, knowing only seconds ago he was nothing but a mere bloody, suffering child.. she couldnt help but to not fight the tears she felt budding at her eyes; letting one slide down her cheek before quickly wiping it away - she knew it was naive to assume she wasnt being watched.

Mallory wasnt stupid - she knew her powers and what she was capable of, like the back of her hand by now. The past few months practically consisted of her testing and expanding on her limits... She knew that healing Michael in this exact moment wasnt out of the question. In fact, it almost seemed to be more difficult to restrain herself from healing him.. but she knew better.

He deserves to fucking suffer. He deserved to rot in his personal hell; wherever that may be.

She couldnt help but to nearly laugh at the thought that he finally got what was fucking coming to him.

Mallory could feel herself shaking with how close she was to Michael now. She couldnt stand how he made her feel when they were this close - almost touching.

She now was kneeling next to his body on the concrete, her knees aching from the rough surface but she couldnt go just yet. Not when she still had no fucking clue where to go from here.

The world seemed as if it came to stand still; nothing seemed like it existed outside of the small bubble that Mallory felt her and Michael were suddenly trapped in.. The birds stopped singing, no cars happened to drive by.. everything just stopped.

All the spirits and souls that Mallory could feel that were trapped within the grounds of the house, didnt bother to make a appearance either. But she knew they were still there... she could still feel their eyes on her. Watching; waiting.

The sun's warmth, which normally Mallory chose to bask in, was starting to make her itch. She could feel her skin start to moisten with sweat.. Instinctively she knew that her sudden newfound state of being uncomfortable was her cue to leave... To go where though? She wasnt sure.

Why am I still here? If everything had happened correctly; if I really killed him.. then why havent I woken up yet??

Mallory continued to stare at him grimly; not quite brave enough to speak but still managing to maintain the courage to sit by him and look at the damage she caused. The most jarring feature of Michael's current appearance would be his eyes. Mallory couldnt help but to stare at them; and it certainly wasnt because they were beautiful.

His once vibrant, sky blue, irises were now starting to look oddly dull. A faint, milky white color looked as if it were painted over them instead.

His skin was now a bruised white; Mallory shakily extended out her hand - pressing the back of her knuckles softly to his forearm. She wanted to see how cold his body was; and when she made contact - she pulled her hand back so fast as if it had been burned. She hissed, the coolness of his skin stunned her. She stared at his body intensely - shocked that she even dared to touch him, let alone even stick around for this long. 

The sounds Michael started to make is what finally drove Mallory to wake up out her near trance she found herself amidst in and to realize the reality of the situation. After minutes of silence and stillness, and sure death, Michael's chest finally started to move. The amount at which his chest moved was nearly minuscule at first; but he was recovering rather quickly.. too fucking quickly for Mallorys liking.

It was almost sickly ironic how Mallorys chest started to move faster and faster as soon as Michael's did; she couldn't help but to feel entirely panicked. The rest of her emotions; her thoughts; her feelings; everything that used to make up her was now fleeting.. rapidly leaving until as she could focus on was the oxygen briskly escaping her.

She watched the color from his skin start to return; the off putting stark whiteness leaving and a very subtle pink gracing his skin tone. More noticeably; she observed how the color in his lips and eyes returned back.. almost appearing normal.

She unconsciously found herself rising; panic still occupying all of her senses. She quickly unfolded her legs and steadied herself as she stood up.. One thought and one thought only rang through her mind like a sick mantra..

I need to get the fuck out of here.

Mallory tried to gasp as she suddenly felt her throat grow incredibly dry; she let out a desperate dry cough. Her eyes started to tear up unwillingly as she felt a enormous amount of self doubt suddenly surge into the core of her being - the feeling slipping momentarily into her soul.

The world around her began to spin and melt away simultaneously; until she felt her physical body melt away from Michael and the Murder House incredibly rapidly before she could even fully process what was happening.

She felt the harsh coldness of the bath tub water for a split second before she emerged; the black water engulfing her as she stayed partially concealed within the water. Immeadietly she found herself gasping and gagging on her tongue from not being able to breath possibly fast enough... The next thing she felt was otherworldly pain. She felt so much fucking pain.

Mallory gripped the edge of the bathtub until her fingertips turned white and her nails threatened to split. She stayed like that for a moment; spitting and gasping, trying to find a way to consume as much oxygen as possible while managing the nearly unimaginable pain. Her entire body throbbed but her eyes felt a different pain; a sickly stinging.

Keeping her posture and preventing herself from slipping entirely back into the black water was a fucking mission in itself, she quickly learned. She didnt even bother to pretend to be quiet.. Her breaths and groans were far too loud to even begin to ignore.

Is Michael still alive?  Where is Myrtle?

Mallorys lungs seemed to return to normal capacity after a while, her gasping decreased until she was utterly and completely quiet. She arose from the water as quietly as she possibly could, biting her lip to prevent making any additional noise from the sudden cold air she felt against her body.. stinging and torturous..

Her eyes still ached, bringing her hands instinctively to her eyes to stop the pain - she realized ones of her hands was still balled into a fist.. holding onto something.

Was that.. is that MICHAELS hair??

Mallory stared at the once curly, perfectly golden strands of hair that lie in her balled up fist in complete horror - it was now a dark red from the blood that had washed off her skin and into the water.

There was no way this was HIS hair. It had to be someone elses; anyone elses! She refused to believe that she was holding onto anything that belonged or had to do with Michael... complete disgust and delirium rendered her from thinking that.

Her first instinct was to drop the hair; but something told her to keep holding onto the lock, it would only serve her well in the future.

Her vision was inky with blood; dark red clouding her vision and making her feel even more impaired and utterly hopeless then she already felt.. even with the large wound still gaping and bleeding from her stomach. Her stomach wound made her entire body ache, trying to stay conscious was a fight within itself.

It happened again. I failed.

She wasnt sure if she was just being cynical or if her thoughts were even to be trusted anymore when she was in this state.. she only knew she wanted this horrible nightmare to be fucking over with already. She wanted to wake up in Robichauxs and see her sisters; Misty, Madison, Queenie, Zoe and more than anyone.. Cordelia... Oh fuck.

Cordelia... She was still dead.. because of me.

Mallory blinked slowly a few times; taking her free hand and wiping as much blood away from her face and eyes as she could - just enough so she could fully take in her surroundings.

If she could feel her stomach; she was sure she would feel it drop because as much as she looked, she saw no one. Absolutely no one. Tears slipped down her cheeks but they werent bloody anymore. She knew she was completely fucked; he had her cornered.

Well not literally anyways. He still managed to lurk somewhere within the vast empty walls of Outpost Three; most likely looking for her.. but he had to know she was fatally wounded.. right? 

That's when out of the thick silenceness, she heard the first sign of life. Loud; but distant heavy footsteps.

Michael.

She knew she was fucked right away. She could almost feel his spirit itself within Hawthorne; the feeling slowly flowing to her until it forced her to be frozen. Petrified, still sopping wet and with some left over blood dripping off her chin - she knew what she had to do.. and she only had seconds to do it. Mallory knew he was approaching closer and closer the longer she stood docile in the bathtub.. like a idiot.

She took deep, heavy breaths. Fully; for the first time, cherishing the feeling of oxygen in her lungs - knowing that she very well might not make it out alive. Preforming time travel once alone was a enormous feat; but she had already done it twice.. but three times?

The thought simultaneously scared and excited her; she continued take deep breaths before relaxing. Closing her eyes and focusing; searching for a moment in Michael's history to go back too.

There had to be another time Michael was weak besides when he was with Constance at the murder house.. Another time that he felt abandoned.. lost.. confused..

She swallowed as she felt and focused on the soft strands of hair that she held onto; trying to search desperately for the answer that she needed as she took the next step and plunged herself under the water, first barely managing to weakly whisper, "tempus infinituum".

The water tore at her skin as she felt herself letting go from the past reality... slowly yet rapidly her senses seemed to all melt away at once before she was floating- until nothing.

Suddenly Mallory opened her eyes, blinking as she kept calm as she adjusted to her new surroundings.. an open, nearly empty forest was what welcomed her as she slowly spun around.

The smell of pine leaves and the heavy scent of the forest consumed her senses. She first felt calm and at peace; the forest was beautiful. She almost felt tempted to forget about what she came here to do and to lose herself within the sea of greenery but.. something was terribly wrong.

More so; someone was here.

Mallory first stood still; puzzled as to why she was now standing in a vacant forest with pine needles at her feet.

She didnt dare say a word out loud, just in case, but she knew she was waiting for something before she dared to take a step.. she was waiting for a sign. She didnt bat a eye when she felt a soft, warm breeze tousle her hair forward. She felt it continue to crash against her body - almost like soft waves crashing upon rocks. She felt it on her warm skin; her skin getting goosebumps as she knew what this meant. She was getting her sign.

This is it. Is he here?

Mallory giggled at the mere thought; the anticipation and glee of imagining how this nightmare perhaps could be over in the near future was making her experience true euphoria.

She began to walk through the forest; passing several trees as she searched for what she was yearning for. The breeze was far gone by now but she knew to keep going; to keep looking. She looked at the forest landscape that lie ahead of her; a sea of moss and blended greens and blues. The forest didnt have the same magic it typically held though; something was missing.

It was because she was getting closer to him.

Mallory had to suppress a scream as she suddenly felt herself step on something that wasnt the forest floor. She felt a painful shiver run directly down her spine, almost as if someone was running a blade down her back. She was becoming consumed with panic once more; and with the sudden realization what was happening.. What this meant.

It was pure reflex which caused her to take a step back; even before she had the opportunity to look down and confirm her suspicions, she knew exactly what she had stepped on. A body.

She quickly looked down at what she had stepped on - not able to take the anonymity of the individual any longer.. and of course..

I fucking knew it.

She recognized who it was immeadietly, curly blonde hair that was mangled with dirt and a typical black outfit.. it was too easy to guess the identity of the body. He was face down, his body sprawled out unnaturally and in a uncomfortable manner..

It was once again; Michael Langdon.

Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @beyond-repentance @lizzy-claire-fandom

[winterromanov]

know it’s for the better - bucky x reader

pairing: college!bucky x reader

part of the will we talk? universe

prompt:  what about college!bucky during quarantine? their school gets shut down... do they stay together? how does it go?

a/n: a repost bc the ‘read more’ fucked up on the ask and idk??? what happened??? but here u go. about 2k words

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.

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know it’s for the better

The semester is not supposed to end like this. No, there are supposed to be parties and laughter and getting wine drunk on the roof, bare legs dangling into New York City. There are supposed to be finals, and library study sessions, and football games in hot, summer rain. There are supposed to be more nights tucked in the twin bed in your dorm room with Bucky’s arm looped round your waist, fingers splayed across your bare skin.

Instead it’s the beginning of March and everything is over. You could feel it coming like storm clouds, black and ominous, hovering on the horizon. The virus has been hovering on your periphery for an embarrassingly long time. As your twitter timeline became more and more scary and the news could talk of little else, it has become frighteningly and anxiously real. Life—everywhere, but particularly in New York—is never going to be the same.

You have no choice but to pack up your little dorm room and return home. Your mom had frantically booked you a flight out, worrying that in less than a week they could be suspended altogether. The virus has been spreading furiously in the city. A place you now call home could be one of the most dangerous places in the world.

And yet…the thought of leaving behind everything so abruptly is killing you. It’s not even school, despite loving it so much. It’s not the college lifestyle or your friends or just having the freedom to waltz wherever you want without fear.

It’s Bucky.

You leave New York, you have to leave him. And God knows how long that might be for.

“Y/N.” His voice is soft, barely a whisper. Bucky has been quietly watching you fill suitcases with clothes, cardboard boxes with belongings. Every so often it looks like he is going to help, but he thinks twice about it, like he can’t bear this is happening. “Y/N…could we, like, stop for a second?”

“My flight leaves first thing in the morning,” you say, refusing to turn and look at him. Your eyes well up as your tear Polaroids and ticket stubs and a sketch Steve did for you from your corkboard, unable to look at those either. They’re just reminders of everything you’re leaving and will never be the same again. “I don’t have time. I just need to get this done, okay?”

“I can’t just keep watching you do this and not talk about what’s going to happen next!”

“Well, maybe you could fucking help, then.”

You never swear, not really, and you can feel Bucky’s expression burning into the back of your skull. Hurt, surprise, desperation. “Let me help. Let me understand what is going through your head.”

“I—I didn’t mean that kind of help, I just need to pack these damn bags…”

Bucky’s hands touch your shoulders. It should feel familiar, his limbs and yours colliding. But he feels like fire. It feels like you’re going to have his handprints burnt into your skin, red and raw, a tattoo of the one real relationship you’ve ever had.

Because he knows just as well as you do that…it’s not going to work, is it? School is over. There is a fucking pandemic going on outside, and you live all the way on the other side of the country whilst he is and always will be a Brooklyn boy. You were supposed to have a whole semester and the summer to sort out what came next, to establish the foundations of your future together, if there was definitely going to be one. And that’s been ripped underneath you like a traumatic tablecloth.

You love him. You love him so fucking much. But is it fair to try and keep going when everything is like this?

“You know my mom and dad would love you to move in,” he says, “You can quarantine with us, see how things go. I just—I just don’t want you to leave. Please don’t leave.”

“Bucky. Please. That’s not fair.” You say, eyes fluttering closed. “We haven’t lived together before and…how do you know we’d work like that? This is serious, and terrifying, and I need to be somewhere I feel safe.”

“You don’t feel safe with me?”

At that you turn to face him, seeing the desperate pain in his eyes. You run your hands across his jawline, cupping at his neck. One tear runs across and down your wrist and he looks away, embarrassed. “Sweetheart. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“God. Yeah. I know, darl’. I know.” He kisses your hand softly. “With everything going on, (Y/N), my future feels a lot more certain knowing you’ll still be in it.”

You fall into his chest, inhaling him in. That woody, fresh scent of his cologne, coffee and mint and dark chocolate. You want to wrap yourself up in him and drown. Escape to a place where time is irrelevant, and nothing ever ends.

“I need to be with my family, Bucky. My mom is worried about me. I can’t put her through me staying here, even if I wanted to. And your mom would be the same.”

“I get that. I do. But you’re—you’re making it sound like that we have to break up.” You lean out of his embrace, his tear-filled eyes scrutinising you. “Are…we breaking up?”

Your mouth opens, swinging like a door on a loose hinge as you try and say something. Eloquence usually comes to you easy, when talking about the books you read for class. It’s one of the things Bucky first noticed about you, your fervent love for language. But there are no words for this. Just empty, agonising silence.

“Why do we have to break up?” He asks, voice cracked in two like a broken porcelain vase. “Why is that what you immediately resort to? There are thousands of ways we could make this work. Starting with the fact that I love you. Is that not enough to even try?”

You pause. Your room, once your safe haven, now feels torturous and unbearable. Suffocating. You bite your lip, tears burning behind your eyelids. “I would love to say yes, Bucky, but I don’t know. I just—I don’t want to be a few weeks down the line, you here and me in Colorado, finding out that it hasn’t worked and it isn’t enough and we have to break up over fucking Skype or…I don’t know, slowly ghost each other into nothingness? I would a million times over rather end it here where I love you than then where I don’t.”

“That is the worst logic I’ve ever heard. Literally the worst. You are assuming the absolute worst of both of us, and…” he runs a frantic hand through his hair. “You know what, if that’s what you think, maybe you’re right. If you have that little faith in me—us—now, maybe we should call it quits.”

“Bucky—”

“I’m going to leave. Have a good trip home.” He looks around your room for one last second but does not meet your gaze. “Have a really fucking good trip home.”

Bucky hovers for a moment by the door, like he’s waiting for one last glimmer of hope. That you might ask him to stay because even…even after all that, he still would drop everything for you to say stay.

But you don’t. The door reverberates loudly in the frame on his way out.

-

You don’t break down, which surprises you. For a little while after he leaves, when you try to immerse yourself in packing and singing along to Taylor Swift from your speaker, you think that it’s for the best. It is, it is, because it can’t work and it won’t work and this will save pain further down the line.

But the hours pass and silence creeps in to your now empty, echoing dorm room, absent of the vibrant life that once occupied it and—your heart feels wrong. This is not freeing, or a relief. This is not the ending you wanted.

You go to get a shower and Bucky’s sports towel is hung over one of the empty cubicles. You turn the tap as hot as it can get it, drowning the whole room in steam and something switches within you. The tears start and they refuse to stop, wracking your body like convulsions.

You fucked it. You well and truly fucked one of the only things that could have got you through all of this, even if you’re over a thousand miles away. It’s like Bucky said. The future is uncertain and scary and untenable, but it feels a hell of a lot more definite with him in it.

You wrap yourself in your towel and walk back into the corridor. Wiping your eyes, there’s a shape in a red jersey hovering next to your door.

“Bucky?”

He turns, his jaw tight and eyes rimmed with red. “Y/N.”

He doesn’t have to say anything else. You run over to him, grabbing fistfuls of him desperately, like he’s going to flare and fade from you forever. His arms wrap around you with equal vigour, warm and panicky and home.

“I didn’t mean it.” You say, your words swallowed up by his ribcage. “Dear God, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it.”

You can feel him sob, body trembling in your arms. “Thank God.”

“I don’t know what will happen next. I haven’t got a fucking clue. But I know I want you there, okay? However it turns out.” You bring his lips down for a kiss tinged with hot water and steam, relief and pure, young, beautiful love. Your foreheads gently rest together. Another quick kiss. “I love you. I love you.”

He kisses you again, like he’s trying to fit in as many as he can. Like he’s packing them all into a suitcase for you to relive, one by one by one, when you’re at home and everything feels like its crumbling.

It will never crumble completely. You know this, because James Buchanan Barnes is your foundations, and he made it pretty fucking clear on day one when he grinned at you in sophomore year Russian lit. You both love novels because you love stories. You love beginnings and ends and everything in between, the climaxes and the romances, murders and death and life—you love breaking apart character, brutally analysing fictional lives and motives. But most of all, you love the feeling of watching characters you adore falling completely and utterly in love. You have spent years trying to define your favourite love story amongst the hundreds you’ve read, but you never thought—

All that time, all you had to do was wait.

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