#if you avoid anything and anyone who could possibly make you anxious then maybe it does seem like only sometimes that you still get anxious

[simpjaes]

DAY-SHIFT. (p. sh)

― part one here! After finding out that your boss has seen, heard, and instructed you through some pleasurable nights while parading around as a faceless cam-boy, you decide that your best course of action is to: call out sick. use vacation days. avoid Park Sunghoon at all costs. Unfortunately, ten days doesn’t appear to be nearly enough time to erase what’s happened, and Sunghoon refuses to be avoided. or the one where sunghoon pretends that he isn’t an anxious mess over accidentally exposing himself and you just so happen to have a lot of fucking empathy. 

minors dni 

PAIRING ― boss / cam boy!sunghoon x afab reader  

WORDCOUNT― 14.5k 

CONTENT― forbidden office romance kind of, smidge of angst if ur sensitive, mentions of predatory behavior from sunghoon, he is more desperate than he is dominant, just the way we like it.

NOTE ― bro im so sorry this took way too long to write, it also is way longer than it's supposed to be. but yknow. i had to do him right lmfao. NOT PROOF READ.

nsfw tags under cut

nsfw tags― perverted sunghoon, heavy petting, making out, foreplay on a chair lol, desk sex, very intimate shit ok? ok., pussy eating, jerking off, finger fucking, fingers-in-mouth antics, gagging, implications of something more than just an office fling, unprotected sex, he fills you UP!!! YIPEE!!! 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Avoidance.

That is the only way you know out of any awkward or unsavory situation. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Find a new job, change your name, dye your hair– question all of your life choices up to this point.

It’s the fact that never in your life have you had an interest in live sex cams. It was always just a porn video or a nice erotic novel for you. Sometimes curiosity gets the best of you though, like it does all people, and it’s not like you thought anyone would ever know who you are or catch you in the act of feeding into your curiosities. 

The one time you ever navigated to the live camera feed on your favorite porn site did shift your sexual appetite a little bit. A whole new world of seeing exactly what you want without needing to search for far too long for that perfect video…for a cost, of course.

You made good money already, and it’s not like you weren’t going for that promotion at the time either. You thought, why not? Why not pay a pretty, faceless man for some anonymous jerking off and move on with your life? 

The one time you found something to satiate the late night body-cravings, the point of pleasure ended up being…your boss?

Small world? Miniscule, fucking tiny little world. 

For days you wondered if Sunghoon’s text to you was just a coincidence. After all, the faceless man on screen didn’t say a word to you after you uttered the name of your boss. Even if he directly said your name. Even if Park Sunghoon uttered your false name at work. 

Consistent back and forth in your head. From, “No, how could that even be possible? No way is it him.” to “but Mr.Park started being weird after the first call, he used both names, he played off of the boss/employee dynamic.”

You’re going crazy as you send another email to your department, apologizing for taking so many days off but not truly apologetic. It’s been ten days now and Sunghoon has yet to text you again. 

That little “Can we talk?” can be heard in your head in his voice. Only now recognizing how clear and unique it truly is when he does speak. You try not to realize how similar the cam-boy sounded to him. Only connecting the dots when they force you to do it, really. You still try to convince yourself that the text was about firing you, given his actions at work that very same day. 

Maybe he was avoiding you because he felt awful about needing to fire you? 

Maybe he sent that text message to start the process of pushing you out? 

After all, it’s still very difficult to imagine Park Sunghoon having a cock that nice, or cum in that amount. Given, it’s not like you ever thought about him jerking off or anything, it’s just–

You don’t fucking know. Your brain is a mess of shaking anxiety and echoes of sexual frustrations and moans. 

You were refunded your money. He texted after the session. He said your name. It’s him, isn’t it?

You refuse to fucking find out.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

From:...[ HRatyourjob@workemail.org ]

CC:...[ parksunghoon@workemail.org ]

BCC:...

Subject: Time off Request: Rejected. Insufficient PTO.

[insert your name here],

The time you have requested from the 27th to the 3rd has been rejected due to insufficient hours. As of last Thursday, you are no longer meeting the minimum hour requirement as a full-time employee. Your PTO is at 0 hours and 00 minutes and you now have three unexcused absences. Please return tomorrow with a signed order or note that exempts you from work. If you move forward without returning to the building, this will be grounds for termination. Please review the company handbook and job abandonment guidelines. 

Additionally, COO Lee, myself, and Division manager Park will be scheduling a meeting with you in the upcoming days, failure to appear will result in immediate termination.

Thank you,

HR

Well, fuck. You knew the time to avoid this would dry up, and this ten day hideaway to fake your death didn’t quite pan out.

Devastating, truly, that you have to walk through those doors with the same legs your boss may or may not have seen spread open for him through a grainy webcam image. Horrifying, that you have to look him in the eye and explain that you really were sick for the past ten days, that you definitely were not hiding the shame of your sexual desires.

The worst part about all of this? Not just the embarrassment but the fact that…you liked it. On that night, had he admitted it was him, you may not have ended the call yourself. It felt like it added some danger to your arousal at the time. Which, naturally, makes you more embarrassed now. Mostly because, at worst if that was Mr.Park, it was predatory. At best though? You very well may have consented.

But the what ifs don’t matter now. The only thing that matters is forcing yourself through the awkwardness of being at work after avoiding it for so long already.

Fortunately for you though, work is…weirdly normal. In fact, no one acts like you’ve missed ten days at all. You are greeted by the usual co-workers, you sit down at your desk and can log in as usual, and there are no warning emails or invitations for what would be considered a meeting of termination either. 

The day goes by just fine, suspiciously so. Sunghoon, though you’re avoiding him at the moment, doesn’t appear to be too out of character either. At one point, you were forced to drop corrected paper work off in his office, and he gave you the same usual and small “Thank you” before you stepped out with your legs threatening to buckle. 

Then again, his “casual” appreciation could just be your mind playing positive little tricks on you. Maybe it wasn’t casual at all. Maybe that little uncharacteristic breath afterwards isn’t just in your head. You didn’t make eye contact with him during that brief moment, and you did rush out quite quickly so you wouldn’t really know. However, in the deepest part of your brain his voice really does match the one who said all those dirty things to you. 

Maybe you’re still overreacting.

Or maybe you dreamed all of this up. 

You choose to remain unaware of the awkwardness around you solely because everything else is normal. Deep, deep down, you know. But you’re not giving that truth a chance to thrive or run your brain anymore.

And just as the day comes to an end, you’re actually feeling better. Anxiety is draining out of you, fear and embarrassment sit dormant in some hidden part of your brain over the small possibility of virtually fucking your boss. It seems you’ve let this work day clear up all of that fear in your head.

You were wrong, right? It wasn’t him, right? He’d have tried to defend himself by now. What boss wouldn’t be absolutely terrified that you’d report him, anyway? After all of that?

You actually feel a little dumb at the possibility of Mr. Park ever wanting you sexually, or ever even wanting to speak to you in that way. Asking to see your pussy? Telling you how to touch it? No, that’s definitely not him. Couldn’t be him. 

And your eyes do stray after a little while. Just to steal glimpses into his office, feeling relieved and weightless now that it appears your fears are over and finally understood. Doesn’t change the fact that now when you look at him, you might be wildly fucking attracted to him. Because fuck, imagine if that was him. You’re kind of forced to put his image to the faceless cam-boy now, not that you want to do that or anything. It just…you can’t really blame yourself for it.

You lend yourself a little laugh. As happy as you are that you’re able to convince yourself that it’s not Sunghoon’s cock you’ve yearned for, you really wouldn’t mind sleeping with someone as handsome as him. 

Crazy how the lack of anxiety lets you think those types of things though, isn’t it? When your brain is no longer fogged by fear or embarrassment, it’s like the clarity can sometimes be scarier simply because you don’t know how true certain statements are. Even through all of that fear, maybe a part of you wished it was him. 

Even with the weight on your shoulders lifted, in hindsight, maybe you’re even a little disappointed that it wasn’t. 

And, just as you’re preparing to clock out and head home with a big secret crush and a little pep in your step, you hear the familiar notification of an email. No problem, probably just a daily report or something. 

From:...[ parksunghoon@workemail.org ]

CC:...

BCC:...

Subject: Mandatory Advising

[insert your name here],

Please come to my office before you leave for the day to discuss your conduct as of late. 

Thank you,

Park Sunghoon

Division Manager

000-000-0000 ext. 000

Well, double fuck. To think everything was fine despite you being well aware of that shit HR said to you previously? 

You barely recognize how the email is sent directly to you from Mr. Park, not including HR or COO Lee. In fact, the anxiety wells up inside of you so quickly that you nearly have to dry heave a few times before taking a deep breath. 

In your head, it’s not even about the web-cam session with a faceless man anymore. Your anxiety about that died the moment you successfully lied to yourself enough, now you’re genuinely just afraid you’ll lose your job or that beloved promotion you worked so hard to be qualified for. You just had to let your anxiety run your life for the past ten days, didn’t you? After all, skipping work to such an extent? Everyone had to have known that it was a lie eventually.  

So, you stand to your feet, brush off your thighs, and attempt to keep your heart from pounding as you make your way to Mr. Park’s office expecting to see HR, COO Lee, and a severance package on the desk waiting for your signature. 

Instead, you walk in to just find your boss. He’s looking at you as he normally would, eyes focused on his screen before glancing at you for a moment and nodding his head to one of the chairs in front of his desk. 

“Mr. Park–” You start, nearly wincing at the way you say it because, well, you haven’t said it since the night you had your pussy out on display. It’s only natural to physically react, right?

“One moment.” He says in a small voice, clicking a few times with the mouse as you watch the monitor light shine across his cheeks with each window he minimizes. 

It’s silent for a few moments as you awkwardly look around an office you’ve been in countless times. His lights are always dimmed, the temperature is always comfortable. You’re gonna miss this office, though it’s not your own. It was a nice, brief escape before all of this if you’re being honest. 

“How was work for you today?” He turns his attention to you, finally adjusting and rolling his chair to center himself in front of you behind his desk 

You pause at the question, unintentionally tilting your head at it like a puppy. “Good? Normal, I guess?” 

You watch as he nods with a tight-lipped expression, eyes falling to his desk as he takes in a deep and disappointed sounding breath. 

“Well, that’s one of us.” He huffs out, causing you to feel a bit confused with his tone. Is he being…passive aggressive? And when he snaps his eyes from his desk straight to your own confused gaze, you can almost sense a bit of something else in them compared to usual. 

Not anger. Not disappointment. 

He looks worried.

“Eleven days–” Sunghoon drones on with an exhausted tone, cutting himself off with another breath that shows you were right to assume his current displayed emotion. “You have ignored my text messages for eleven days.” 

You’re shocked by that because as far as you’re concerned, he has not texted you.

“What are you–” You furrow your brows at him, frantically pulling out your phone. “You haven’t texted me. See? The last one I got was–” You take a second as you pull up his texts and remember the exact time he texted you. So late into the night, right after…that. Naturally, you silence yourself, afraid to say it out loud.

“On the contrary,” Sunghoon denies your proof. “I texted from my personal phone.”

You hesitate again, looking down and noting the notifications under the tab of  “message requests.” To be fucking fair though, you didn’t even know that existed so you never really paid attention to it. Especially as you practically avoided your phone out of fear that he’d be texting you again. 

You were thankful he didn’t. That comforted you. Now though? Your comfort is replaced yet again with anxiety because, well, he texted you consistently after that night.

“Oh–” You say quietly, seeing a glimpse of “Please, let me call y–” in one of the messages.

“I didn’t see those.” Quickly, you turn your screen off and shove your phone back into your pocket, nervously clasping your hands in front of you and looking to the floor. 

“I will reiterate then.” 

You can hear the leather on his chair squeak against his expensive suit when he leans forward, both hands splayed out on his desk in a wide and intimidating stance in front of you. 

“Wait–” You look around the office now. “If you’re going to fire me– shouldn’t the others be here too?”

Sunghoon pulls back at that, narrowing his eyes before lending a very small and even more nervous chuckle.

“I’m not firing you. I told them I’d take care of your sudden and, quite frankly, unhelpful vacation.” 

You look to the floor again, feeling scolded for your actions but having a genuine reason. If Sunghoon truly is aware of that reason for your absence, he understands too, right?

“I have been beyond inappropriate with you.” He blurts now, that same leather squeaking as he leans back again and looks away from you the moment you snap your head up. “I have reason to believe you’ve not yet reported me, and I’d like to ask for the opportunity to explain myself before you do.” 

You feel a chill wash over your whole body, cold sweat peaking right at your temples as you stare forward. He’s being so professional about this, and that lie you’ve convinced yourself of is showing it’s face as just that, a fucking lie.

So this is it? 

So there it is? A semi-admittance that it was him? That little feeling in the back of your head that wishes it was diminishes within an instant. In fact, you narrow your eyes at him, your nose crinkles, and you feel frustration bubble up in your gut.

“So you admit that it was you?” You ask, needing a full confirmation. 

“Yes.” Sunghoon sighs, leaning back somehow further, creating as much distance from you as possible before unintentionally rolling his eyes. Mostly due to the fact that he was stupid enough to let this happen, mostly to shame himself. “What I did was inappropriate and unacceptable. I didn’t intend for this to ever happen.”

Now you feel a bit…pissed off.

Like? Oh, he didn’t intend for this to happen? What? You mean he didn’t intend to let you fucking find out! Well, as good as he is at playing the part of a slutty man on the internet, he’s not so good at acting in real life, now is he? Saying your false fucking name at work, saying your real name with his cock out?

What in the fuck are you supposed to do about this? Why is he giving you the ability to report him? He’s the one with the power here. He could fire you now and bury the information if he so pleased. After all, He’s besties with COO Lee, right? That bitch in HR has an obsession with him too. Hell, everyone here loves the guy. 

You’re just a bottom of the barrel employee trying to work your way up. If you got him fired, surely he’d make damn sure you never work for a decent company like this one again. Additionally, you don’t even want to report him.

Yeah, it was fucking weird that he just knew it was you and kept going. Super strange that he had to have known after the first call, only to ask to see you in the second one. Why does that turn you on in the midst of this anxiety induced spiral? Why the fuck is the idea of Park Sunghoon apologizing for masturbating to and for you so alluring?! 

Sure, maybe it’s kind of nice knowing that someone of his status would ever find an interest in you, but it doesn’t quite wash the frustration away. You have every right to question, and every right to be pissed off about it. 

Still, in this quiet room, Sunghoon is stoic and all you can think about when you look at him is the way he said “if I were your boss i’d–” and the way he fucked his palm while saying it, implying he wanted it to be you while simultaneously knowing it was you watching. 

Since fucking when did Mr. Park ever show a sexual interest in you? And if he did, why the fuck couldn’t he have just been normal about it?

“That was really fucked up, you know that?” You argue immediately, voice shaking at the speed of which your emotions shift. Your resolve isn’t quite as clear as it probably should be. Perhaps you should report him, or maybe you already should have. But, it’s not like you accepted the truth until he demanded it of you.

You would have let it slide. Both of you could have pretended it never happened. You could’ve gone home and continued working, never paying a cam-boy again had Sunghoon not called you into this stupid, comfortable ass office. 

“In my defense, I was just doing my job. Though it’s my own fault for not telling you, my job here was at risk if you had found out.”

“You made me talk about you.” You roll your eyes at him now, gaining the power and control over the conversation. “And you thought I wouldn’t find out?! What? Did that get you off or something?”

“I–” Sunghoon stops himself from answering that question truthfully. He quickly tries to explain away the stutter instead. Never has he been scolded by an employee, but you’re well within your rights to do so. “I wasn’t in my right mind. I never get called by name during these sessions and I apologize for having you say it.”

“And you want me to report you?” You raise a brow at him. “Want me to just storm right into HR and tell her how you’re a fucking pervert? Want me to tell her how you told me to repeat your name? To thank you for it? Is that really what you want?” 

Are you enjoying yourself a little too much? Maybe.

Sunghoon doesn’t respond though, instead, he runs his hand through his hair and sighs from the stress welling up inside of him. He can only act calm and collected for so long, and it’s been eleven days already. He hates how hearing you say those words goes straight to his cock at a time like this, he hates even more how all of this could have been avoided if he had simply declined your second call. 

But you’re not wrong. He is a pervert, and he did tell you to thank him for the pleasure you were getting from his voice and half image alone. At the time, he was so turned on he really just couldn’t help himself. You fed his sexual appetite unknowingly and now this is the consequence of his action. Being a known pervert.

Is it what he wants though? To be reported? Humiliated?

Fuck.

Arguably, just having you humiliate him like this is enough. Drives him crazy, really. Whether it be from arousal or guilt, or both. 

And for the first time since you started working here, you see him for what he truly is. A strong man to an extent, but he’s crumbling under his own mistake and it makes you wonder just how far he would’ve taken it had you not found out. 

“And what if I didn’t realize who I was fucking myself for?” You glare. “Would you have asked for more? Avoided me here even more? Would you have declined my application for the assistant position because you can’t come to terms with the fact that you’re a fucking pervert?!”

Sunghoon raises his hands in defense. 

“Please–” His voice sounds panicked. “Please, keep your voice down.”

“Answer the question, then. Just fucking own it at this point.” You throw your arms up now, letting them fall back down in a slap to your thighs. “Would you have made my work-life miserable just so you could watch me get off to you? Knowing the whole time? Would you have kept on with that boss slash employee shit just so it felt more real for you?” 

Staring forward at him, you watch him accept that everything you’re saying is likely exactly what would have happened. Maybe he really will try to own it. Which would be… a good thing if you decide to let your own resolve falter.

So fucking secretive, huh? An actual, real life degenerate? And it’s Sunghoon of all people? 

“Maybe…” Sunghoon trails off, making himself seem much smaller than he usually is on a day-to-day basis. “I mean, No–I,”

Oh, he’s actually stuttering.

“And you want me to tell on you? You want me to fuck your life up?” You raise a brow. “As if I didn’t pay you to do it?”

In all honesty, aside from the anxiety and awkwardness, and despite never once thinking of Sunghoon too sexually, things have changed. Drastically. Especially after being confronted with this situation and he’s not intimidating you or using his power to control you. No, he’s giving you the power and quite frankly, you don’t know what to do with it. 

Are you basking in it? Absolutely. Is it nice to see him cower in front of you? In that big plush chair that costs more than your monthly income? Hell yeah.

But goddamn, had he approached you before all of this and asked for a date, or showed interest, you would have gladly partaken in a secret romance with him. He’s intelligent, attractive, clean, and has money. It’s not like you ever expected the guy to go home and fuck himself on camera. 

You never thought he was the type to be so lonely either. Or so desperate, judging by how he acted during those two sessions. Arguably, you always wondered why there was never a ring on those pristine fingers. 

And while you were definitely the victim in this situation, you feel more embarrassed than you do violated. Many nights you thought of how he spoke, how he said how badly he wanted you. It’s embarrassing because you’re starting to love the idea of who those words really came from. The Park Sunghoon, so untouchable in the business world. So untouchable by women and men solely because he appears to be too expensive, too pristine.

But you…

You’ve seen him dirty. 

Part of you wishes you didn’t pay to be humiliated like this. The rest of you wishes you didn’t fucking like it as much as you do.

“It’s only fair.” Sunghoon explains with a short breath. “I feel awful for what I’ve done, and I should have told you the moment I recognized her as, well–” He pauses with a pained face, as if he hates hearing himself say it. “You.”

“Then, why didn’t you?” You raise your brow again, nearly forgetting you’re at work, solely focused on the conversation at hand and feeling relieved at the way it’s going.

Sunghoon shifts in discomfort, looking away from you.

“Do you want honesty?” He asks in a quiet voice, leaning forward on his desk but refusing eye contact. He keeps his gaze lowered the entire time, his voice small and shaky. 

There’s still people in the office, though his door is closed and it’s unlikely he can be heard.

You nod to him with an even smaller “Go on then.”

“I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t you.” He says, shifting his hands and picking at his cuticles. 

Man, he really knows how to act sorry, doesn’t he?

“I avoided you after that first call, solely because I think I wanted her to be you. Which is…incredibly inappropriate.” 

He looks up at you now, searching for a reaction and only seeing you nod at him. His eyes shift right back down as he continues. 

“My avoiding you led you to– um– more services.” He explains quieter, admitting in full the situation he’s allowed to take place, seeming more and more insecure with his words than he ever has before. “I can admit that I have fantasies and needs.” 

Silence. 

“After that first call, I couldn’t help but be entirely attracted to you. The idea of–”

You suddenly find yourself thinking back to all of those things he said to you again, parading as if he wasn’t your boss, telling you what he'd do if he were. He seems to have accidentally found a sexual interest in the dynamic…and he fucking dragged you into it with him. 

“Mr. Par– Sunghoon.” You cut him off, actually feeling a bit of pity now at his admittance. 

His words make you feel like maybe he’s not entirely just a pervert who was intending to make you get off to him from the start. If anything, he probably felt uncomfortable at first knowing who was on the other end of the call. It’s the fact that his real life job was at risk if you found out, and still he indulged despite that. He accepted that second call, he asked for more, he acted like he really does want you.

 To the extent that losing his job was in the front of his mind and he still did it. He ignored the danger of it and prioritized getting off…with you. You find yourself wondering if this would have happened to any other employee under him if they happened to stumble across his stream too. 

Part of you wants to pretend he wouldn’t, because the idea that all of this is happening solely because it was you? It hits a little too hard, a little too deep. 

“Okay, okay. Stop,” You say, keeping your eyes on him and willing him to look up at you. “You don’t have to keep explaining, I get it.”

“No.” He does meet your eye this time, stopping your brain of all thoughts at how differently you see him now versus all the times before. “I do.” 

He’s so honest. Probably too honest for his own good. Maybe that’s why he’s so good at his job, maybe that’s why everyone loves him. Maybe a bit of lying would help him in this situation if it were anyone else, but for you? 

You kind of enjoy the way he’s telling the truth. Admitting that he was desperate, apologizing for wanting you even if just for a brief moment.

“I asked you to turn on your camera for selfish reasons. I asked you to say my name, then I made the mistake of exposing myself because I–” He hesitates, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply through his nose. “I struggled to pretend it wasn’t me, and that she wasn’t you. I very well knew what I was doing, and at the time, I wished that you did too.”

More silence as you stare at him, stunned, slightly in awe. 

“But I knew you wouldn’t have reciprocated. What I’ve done is criminal, and I am encouraging you to report me for it if that’s what you deem necessary.” 

“And if I don’t?” You don’t leave any more room for silence now, feeling desired and validated. 

You can’t pretend that you’re mad, though you were previously. You simply can’t pretend that, now at least, you wouldn’t reciprocate. If anything, you’re more interested now than you think you ever would have been before. 

“We can forget any of this ever happened. I’ll stop streaming and accepting private calls, and we can hopefully move forward without any ill-feelings of one another.” He blinks at you, near pleading with his eyes. “I’ll push your application through– That is, if you still want the position.” 

Sunghoon does wince at the bribe, considering he’s never done such a thing let alone commit acts of sexual harassment, or perhaps even non consensual foreplay with someone. It really really wasn’t entirely intentional, and he’s disgusted with himself. If you report him, he’d take the hit to his reputation and career, but if you don’t…what then?

Ill-feelings, he says? If anything, you might feel more ill parading around like you wouldn’t want him to do all of those things he said previously, with free-will to say as he pleased without the fear of you knowing who the words were coming from. 

“Can you please stop with the professional talk?” You hum out with an exhausted eye roll.  “I don’t want the promotion if you’re just offering it so I don’t rat you out.” You narrow your eyes now and lean yourself forward. “You hope to forget this ever happened? Really?” 

Carefully, the two of you watch each other for a while longer. Sunghoon looking like he’s about to catch himself on fire, and you, looking annoyed and amused. Still, the thick air in the room starts to feel suffocating under the pressure of the “issue” at hand as you scold him further. 

“What you did was predatory. But– I don’t want to ruin your life over this.” 

You watch as Sunghoon listens, his posture opening up a bit more as you speak, showing that he’s being relieved of his stress through your words alone. 

“Are you trying to hold a promotion over my head over this?”

Before he gets the chance to curl in on himself again, you answer for him. 

“Maybe.” 

You continue too, not letting him speak for the time being. Or, rather, giving him a chance to breathe. 

“Should you change your username and continue doing what you want behind closed doors because it’s no one else’s business?” You really watch him this time. “Yes.” 

He blinks at you, raising a brow in slight confusion. 

“Did you take advantage of me?”

He nods before you whisper out another “yes” yourself. 

“Would I let you do it again…?”

Oh, for Sunghoon, it’s hard to breathe right now as he anticipates what you’ll say. Is it going to be a ‘no’ this time? Are you going to stand up and change your mind? Despite just stating you don’t want to ruin his life?

God, hasn’t he already let you?

“Yes.”

Pause. 

“I’m sorry?” Sunghoon responds in disbelief, shifting his eyes to his hands and then back to you. “Come again?”

“Sunghoon.” You make it a point to call him by his name now, ignoring the etiquette of a proper boss and employee dynamic. “I am humiliated by all of this but I can see that you are too. You’ve admitted your guilt and even go as far as encouraging that I report you.” You pause again, knowing that this isn’t where the conversation should be going for any, uh, normal person, you suppose. 

“If you had just told me. If you had said anything about wanting to, like, fuck me, I would have done it with or without the promotion on the line.”

Does that make you sound a little desperate? Yeah. But it’s not like he doesn’t know how badly you need to be fucked. After all, you know, the cam sessions and stuff. You were literally paying a stranger to get you off. 

Shouldn’t he, of all people, know that you were bad-off enough to get laid?

Sunghoon’s issue though, is that he never looks at his employees sexually. No matter how pretty, no matter how much they flaunt themselves at him. He never has, and probably never will again. If it hadn’t been for that single first session with you, all would be well. But now? He’s too attracted to you. 

He wants you so badly.

“If you tell me right now that you want me, in the same way you did on that call–” You stop yourself to really look at him. With the way he swallows, the way his lips slightly part, the way his hands show signs of eleven days worth of nervous habit cuticle picking. “If you do all of those things you said you’d do ‘if you were my boss’...”

“Wait, wait–” Sunghoon stands in a rush, causing you to jump slightly at the sudden sound echoing off of the walls in the office. “Do you understand the consequences of what you’re implying right now?”

“If I fuck my boss, we could both be fired?” You smile, feeling the confidence raise within you. Watching the way he reacts to your lewd words face to face rather than through a microphone. 

“That would be…correct.” He raises a brow. 

“Well, technically, you’ve already been fucking me.” You look away from him, feeling a bit shy even with the confidence, but never having spoken to a man so bluntly before like this? It’s a bit scary. “Would it really make anything worse if, you know, I do reciprocate?”

Goddamn. Sunghoon might be a bit smitten. This situation could have gone a thousand different ways, and you offer the one that includes your legs spread across this fucking desk and his face buried between them?

Oh. Never has he been so willingly turned on at work. 

“Is this what you want?” He asks in a breath, shifting his eyes to the door and walking towards it, immediately reaching for the lock but not quite turning it. 

“Is that what you want?” You counter, turning and staring at the lock. 

Sunghoon hides his nod, wanting you to be the one to answer first. After all, hasn’t he been self-indulgent enough?

“Do you want me to fuck you?” He finally breaks and says it, blatantly, not sugar coated, yet still sweet when the words hit your ears. “After all this, you still want it?” 

You nod, dipping your head a bit against your shoulder. 

Click. 

“I guess I should have known.” Sunghoon plays with his words now, hand dropping from the now locked door and eyes entirely on you. “Do you want me to fuck you, or would you prefer–”

“You.” You smile, feeling your skin prickle at the electricity that enters the room through breath and words alone. It’s the way he already shifted. Like all of that anxiety melted out of him within an instant. 

“No, no.” He stalks towards you now, the nervous Sunghoon is no longer in sight as he makes himself seem bigger, taller, far more intimidating. Just like he was on camera. “The me you saw on screen is not the same as what you’re seeing right now.” He tries to explain. 

“Oh?” You tilt your head, and he only finds that cute. 

Far too cute. 

“You’d do as I ask, right?” His voice shifts to a raspy whisper as he centers himself in front of you, both hands reaching the arms of your chair as he hovers above you. “I’m far more tame online.” 

Tame?! That’s what he calls tame?! 

You stare up at him, keeping your jaw from falling slack as you physically see him shift from being your boss into being a man with a need. Not just any need either. A need for you.

Part of you wonders if he ever truly felt bad in the first place about all of this, because the shift from just moments ago is so dramatic it’s almost scary. 

“So, tell me.” He leans down, inches from your face as his eyes start to fall to a half-lidded stare at you. “You’ll do as I say? You’d let me do it all for you, and not ask me to stop until I feel it best, yes?”

You swallow and slowly nod. Oh god, it really, really, is him. 

“And while at work, you’ll behave?” He continues, lips now ghosting over yours to the point you can almost feel them press down. He’s implying that if you don’t tell, that this won’t be the only time too? Shit. He’s entirely aware of why this shouldn’t be happening, but still making it happen.

 “No matter what I do to you, where or how I do it, you’ll behave?”

You can’t help it when you lift your chin, just a bit to rest your lips against his words, eyes falling closed and hands hesitant to reach out for his perfectly ironed shirt. 

You feel his smile against your lips, with that sharp-toothed grin he rarely offers. 

“Ah, so it’s true.” He murmurs against you, his hand reaching for yours and guiding it for you, straight to his belt. “Dirty, dirty girl.”

A small, pleased, sound leaves your throat when he does kiss you, adding his own pleased hum alongside yours as his hands still hold yours in place over his belt, not quite letting you do anything just yet.

”Gonna be quiet–” He whispers into your mouth, just against your tongue before licking out and against it. “Even when I tell you to moan my name?”

You really shouldn’t be surprised, but you still are. You like this Sunghoon better than the one who stutters and picks his cuticles. He’s owning it, and in a way, so are you. 

 After all, it wasn’t until today that you truly learned what Sunghoon is like when he’s aroused. Not that you ever should have known in the first place. The fact that you do know, the fact that he’s showing you? It just makes this all the more arousing, in your opinion.

All he needed was a green light and within seconds it seems, Sunghoon became the need you’ve been chasing for months now through porn sites and erotic novels. 

You nod to his words, trying to drop your hand just a bit to feel what you’ve already seen. Just to feel how warm he is, how—

“Is that so?” Sunghoon whispers in an amused tone, guiding your hand right back to his belt, only to drop his other hand straight between your legs. “You’re supposed to do as I say. If I tell you to moan my name, you do it.”

Oh, the sexual confusion of what to do and which Sunghoon to obey. All you can do is continue to nod for him, hanging your head with a breath at the way he cups his hand over the entirety of your core. You wore pants today in order to hide your shame, to try and feel invisible based on previous circumstances. You’re not so happy about that now, as you try to feel his touch through the thick fabric only to shamelessly thrust your hips up and against his palm.

He moves his lips to the top of your head now, hovering over you in a perfect stance of power, hand gently rubbing up and and down despite your hips asking for a harsher touch. If anything, it makes him feel better knowing how you react to this. 

In actuality, his relief is sending his arousal through the roof. Not only are you not going to rat him out but…you want more of it? More of him, in particular? Not the facade of him online? 

At this point, if he gets caught, you’re both going down in flames. So, why not enjoy the ride?

Truly, it’s laughable in the way he’s just as amused as he is turned on, relishing in the fact that he wants you and you’re letting him have you despite his past actions. You’re messy too, he’s seen it, and now he gets to feel it. 

“Mhm,” Sunghoon hums against the top of your head, now pressing his own hips forward against your hand. “Feel that?”

The electricity? How hard he is? How needy you are?

”Yeah…” You sigh absentmindedly, bumping his chin with your head when you try to look up at him. You only blink twice before he coos out with a sad little sound. 

He doesn’t say a word after as he removes his hand and instead, grabs both of your hands and places them on his shirt. 

“Go on.” He smiles, waiting to see you to start fumbling against his buttons. 

And fumble, you do. Touching him, for some reason, feels so dangerous. Knowing you’re the one removing his shirt, watching his skin be revealed as it begins to fall open by your own doing? It’s electrifying. Enough to lose your train of thought as you study how toned and smooth his skin is. Just like how you had seen on camera, so clear in front of you now. You’re aching for him by this point, being able to feel his body heat, touch him, feel his eyes on you. 

If you had really known back then who it was you were talking to, you very well may have pretended to not know as well, judging by the way your entire body catches fire for him. 

And as his shirt falls completely open, he’s satisfied with the way you do it. Complacent and docile beneath him, nervous fingers shaking much like he did for the past eleven days. With those pretty eyes looking at him, like there’s nothing in your head at all. 

He chuckles at you, grabbing your hands again and placing them right on his chest, helping your hesitant touch to massage and caress each bump and toned muscle. He intentionally flexes the further down your hands go, all the way back to his belt. 

There, he looks down at where you touch, then back at you with a quirked brow. You stare  up at him, blinking, face feeling hot, and it’s like you move your hands on instinct. The sound of his buckle being unclasped echoes in the room, and his eyes only darken with the sound.

The sound of it slipping from the loops when he takes it upon himself to remove it completely for you, the sound of his breathing, the sound of that zipper, the button, the shuffling of his pants being skewed down just enough to fit your hand inside.

He moans at the image alone, loving the way your smaller hand looks slipping down his pants, the way your breathing is somehow even as if you’re trying to keep yourself calm. So calm, so pretty, but he knows how needy you are. He shouldn’t, but he does, and he uses it to his advantage. 

You’re the one who moans this time upon feeling that little twitch of his cock urging you to grab. And he helps you too, with the way he guides your hand under the front of his pants further, forcing your fingers to grab and grope the thick of his cock, uncomfortable and pressing between his briefs and undone zipper. 

“Still, you’re just looking.” Sunghoon comments, pressing his hips forward slowly and gently. “I’m right here.” He continues to explain the situation to you, as if you’re not experiencing it. “You need me to show you how to touch me too?”

You hesitate with a groan caught in your throat. You’re still processing the size difference that you feel now versus what you saw. Bigger. Thicker. Heavier than you would have expected against your palm. Honestly, you were so focused on the fact that Sunghoon’s cock is currently fucking forward against you that you almost forgot how to jerk a man off by yourself. 

His hand had been doing all the work for you, and you’re quick to take over. 

Sunghoon lends a very small gasp at the way you try to grasp, and instantly both of his arms shoot to the chair behind your head. He grips it, dropping his chin to the top of your head before thrusting a bit harsher into the grip you try to hold on him. 

“Harder.” He exhales, his cock twitching in your weak hold. “Grab me harder.”

You do, squeezing the bulge before intentionally adjusting it for him, allowing the head of his bulbous cock to peek from the top of his briefs. 

His relieved sigh is enough, you can’t help it. With his chin sat atop your head like this, you have no choice but to watch the way he moves his hips. Just like he did on camera. His abs flex with each movement, his arms grip behind you on the chair tighter, and you couldn’t pull your eyes away from his desperate body even if you wanted to. 

You thrust up too, as if your body craves what you’re already touching. And you do crave it, so much so that your clit aches against the denim you’re rubbing up against. Unfortunate that you wore these fucking jeans, honestly.

“Mr. Park–” You let out a small and frustrated cry, using your other hand to try and fail at unbuttoning your own pants. 

He hides his smile at the way you’ve reverted back to his professional title, but pays no mind to it because that’s what he wanted to hear in your voice that night. A desperate sound of his name, a plea, a cry. He can’t help but cling to it and bury that pretty voice into the darkest parts of his brain. A memory he’ll revisit time and time again after this. That sound, those pretty lips, this weak grasp you have. For the time being, it’s his. You belong to him right now. 

“Hm?” He hums out, fucking his hips forward while tilting his head back to look at you. “What is it, baby?”

Oh. You lost your train of thought. 

Thankfully, he seems to do the thinking for you as he shifts his eyes down and watches you try to both please him and remove your own pants. A cute sight to him, really. Someone who was just scolding him for wanting this, fumbling for more? 

So cute. 

He chuckles, pulling his hips back from your hand and grabbing it, unbothered by the loss of your touch. Instantly he intertwines his fingers with yours, and grasps your other hand from your pants to do the same. Both your arms raise by his guidance to the back of the chair before he releases them. 

You watch with a slack jaw and half-lidded eyes as he lowers himself, right onto his knees before he unbuttons your pants for you and very politely pulls them from your legs. 

“This what you want?” He smiles, lying his cheek right against your exposed thigh and taking a deep inhale. It’s taking everything in him not to fawn over the woman who had him in his thoughts for the past however long, truly. 

Then again, he’s weak. He doesn’t even look up at you through his words and, instead, nuzzles his nose right up and against the seat of your panties before inhaling with a pleasant hum. “To have me finally touching this pretty pussy for you?” 

God damn, if you didn’t already know it was him on that camera, you do now. He speaks the same type of words, with the same confidence, the same sultry tone…

You can barely comprehend the way he slowly takes his own pants off because you’re too focused on the way he runs his lips across your skin with dirty thoughts spilling from them. Fingers tucked under either side of your panties in preparation before he eventually pulls them off of you. 

“Did you wear those pants to hide yourself from me?” He comments now with an amused tone. “Knowing you wanted me to take them off of you anyway?”

You shake your head at him, holding your breath. You did wear them to hide, but you never would have expected this situation to go in a direction involving his mouth anywhere near where you need it. Sure, you assumed he would have rejected you, you assumed that if it was him– he’d have been so disgusted with himself that he’d only gag at your presence. 

But no. You were bold in your words, and he seems to feed into that. 

“No?” He furrows his brows and lifts his head. Now lowering your panties much like he did for your pants. He’s quick with his next action, seemingly hiding his own desperation through playful comments at you. “Why not?” He adds, instantly pressing his thumb against your clit and fucking shining his eyes up at you with a semi-pouted mouth. 

You roll your eyes back at the sudden pressure, relaxing your shoulders and slouching down in the chair. Your legs spread further on instinct, granting him a full view of your sticky cunt parting open for him.

His eyes glance down, peering into the heat you offered once before ever knowing it was him looking. Clicking his tongue, he can’t help but bite his lower lip to hold himself back. He hopes you don’t notice the way his hand finds its way to his own cock, he really, really hopes you don’t see him act so pathetic over this. 

But you do. The moment your eyes roll back into place and get a look at him. One of his shoulders is moving, but the action is hidden by not only the chair, but his fucking face. He’s got his lips parted and he’s licking his lower lip. Slicking it up with his own saliva before–

“So quiet,” He hums with glistening lips, lending himself a light hold with his cock and pretending it’s you doing it for him. “You have nothing to say for yourself?” He adds now, inhaling once more the scent of your slick dripping for him as he leans in just a bit more.

“Oh–!” You yelp slightly at the feeling of his teeth digging into the flesh just to the side of your core. He bites down harder and harder, licking the flesh between his teeth before sucking hard against it. The sweat and scent of your full-day at work does nothing to calm his raging cock. He loves it and it only grows his appetite for you. Licking, sucking, nibbling at the skin until he’s sure he’ll leave a nice, painful swell to rub against your panties later. Only then does he release your skin from his still-tasting mouth. 

The relief when he releases your thigh is short lived because he offers not even a full two seconds before you feel his mouth circle your clit. Like he can’t help himself, like he can’t tease you right now even if he wanted to. 

 A flick of his tongue sends a shiver down your spine straight to your toes and you can’t stop your legs from immediately wrapping around his head. You hear his muffled “mmf” when you do that, but he keeps you from apologizing for it because his free hand goes straight under your ass and scoots you even closer to his tongue. 

And if you didn’t already think Sunghoon knew how to use that mouth for more than just being a professional business man, you do now. With the way that same tongue that used to taste the morning coffee you’d bring him now tastes you. Deeply. 

He licks, flicks, and sucks every fold. Slurping up any dripping heat that slips out of you before pressing his tongue in and nuzzling his nose against your clit. He’s not quiet about it either. He moans with each lick, hums every time your legs squeeze around his neck, slurps and loudly sucks. 

It’s pornographic, it’s sexy, it’s–

Suddenly, you feel a sharp jolt shoot through you, having not even noticed his hand moving from your ass to your front, moving straight up under your shirt. His fingers immediately find your nipple and pinches hard. So hard that your previous moan only becomes prolonged. Grows louder, breathier. 

He pinches and massages your nipple with the intent to keep you loud for him. Office setting or not, he could give less of a shit about that right now. He ignores the strain on his wrist from your bra, he uses his other hand to grip himself harder, and you can’t help but squeeze him tighter between your thighs until you’re, quite literally, shaking.

Your hips are sliding against his face with each jolt of pleasure, practically riding him, and his cock is now entirely neglected because you can’t help but want more. You need more. And he gives it, by now releasing himself and keeping both hands on you. One holding the outside of your thigh, almost pushing you to squeeze tighter, the other incessantly abusing your nipple. 

He chokes out a moan through his messy movements, never quite knowing where to put his hands solely because he wants to touch all of you. His cock is just fine being neglected, he thinks, as he realizes just how much pleasure he gets from feeling you wrap yourself around him like this. 

It feels better than jerking himself off. 

“Mr. P–” You sigh out, still not quite used to actually calling him his name, but the sound of it reminds you time and time again how wrong this situation is supposed to be. 

You’re sitting on this soft chair, pussy being spread apart by a tongue none other than the man who signs your paychecks. And just this morning you were terrified of him ever even getting a glimpse of you without pants on? God, how stupid could you be? You should’ve been chasing this man’s touch since the day you looked at him for the first time. 

“Fuck–” You moan out for him, brain spitting thoughts at you as each second passes. The danger of this, the fact that he genuinely got off to you before you knew it was him. The secrecy of his perverted thoughts and actions…it’s all so… “So, you’re so – hot.”

You feel him laugh, kissing the pulsing hole of your pussy when he pulls his tongue back to swallow. And for just a few moments, he turns his head, gripping your thigh with his teeth once again before speaking back to you, muffled by the hot skin. 

“Yeah?” He laughs, now pulling his hand from your bra and lifting to your chin, pointing your gaze down at him, forcing you to see the way your thighs nearly suffocate him against your pussy. “Then keep your eyes on me.”

And you do, especially when he uses both of his hands now, nudging them between your legs and forcing them from his shoulders. He rests your legs on the arms of the chair instead and flicks his eyes up at you. 

“You watching?” He makes this a point, blowing a small breath of air straight at your clit before receiving a dazed and slow nod from you. “Keep your legs open too.”

That’s the last thing he says before his mouth is full again, sucking your folds between his teeth before tucking his tongue right back into your hole. He tastes for just a few moments before you feel those same lips on your clit. He lets it throb in his open mouth as he listens carefully to your little sounds, especially now that he’s sliding his fingers into you. 

You gasp, holding your breath at the feeling. His fingers slide in, reaching deep before he scissors them open. And all you feel from it is pleasure. You can’t help that your eyes roll back again, but you do try to keep your gaze fixed on his. With his eyes so rounded, blinking up at you with his strong jaw moving with each swallow of his own muffled moans. 

He sucks your clit, fucks your cunt open, and relishes in the way he will soon get to splay you across his desk and really let you have it. 

And he does this for a few minutes, though in your head it goes by so fast that you nearly get whiplash from the way he pulls back with a wet sound and grins at you.

“Aw, baby–” He coos at the face you make, seemingly disappointed to lose all stimulation at once, but he’s quick to lift to his feet and lean back over you. 

Oh, his cock. It’s right there. 

Oh.

His face– 

“You’re so fucking wet right now.” He murmurs against the corner of your mouth with a raspy whisper, easily and without warning slipping two of his fingers right back into the heat that he just denied himself of licking more. “You hear that?” He continues with a sharp toothed bite to your lip. “How wet you are?”

You groan at the way he slams his fingers in, out, in, out, in…He keeps them there, pressed so far into you that you can physically feel the way your pussy tries to push him out again.

“Could slip it in right now–” He moans out at how tight you clench just his fingers. “Fuck, could be so deep in you.”

Your face feels hot as a bashful feeling overtakes you. His voice hits so much harder when you feel his breath along with it. His fingers, his cock right up against you. You want him to slip it in. To stuff his cock in you so fast, no room to adjust, not a second to even catch your breath. 

God, you need it right now. It’s been too long since you’ve felt a real person touch you, you can’t help that you feel so desperate. The clench isn’t on purpose, your body tells him all he needs to know, all while he tells you all you could only wish to hear fall from someone’s lips.

And not just anyone. His lips. 

You shoot your arms around his neck and it's not really intentional but– an actual kiss. You need it. 

He seems pleased by it though, with the way his tongue immediately asks for more. One hand moves to brace your cheek, the other still fucking into you so good that you can’t keep a single moan down. He takes full control of the initiated kiss solely because you kissed him first. Almost hungrily, he licks into your mouth with his own muffled groan, encouraging you to keep being pretty like this. Just so you can see what he’ll do to you. 

And, damn. He guides your body like a puppet, stiffening his shoulders when he licks into your mouth and threatening to pull away by raising  himself up just a bit. He knew you’d chase the kiss, and you do. You lift with him, your ass lifting from the chair just to keep his tongue against yours, and he takes the elevated position and angles his hand just a bit. There, his fingers fuck into you harder, faster, so much fucking deeper until– you feel his fingers stop at a painfully deep spot inside of you. 

He pulls back from the kiss, looking down between your bodies, and your eyes follow his gaze. Right there, he’s placed his knee up against his own wrist, forcing his fingers to remain deep and unmoving in you. 

You take in a sharp inhale, seeing the way he lets your body fall back to the seat of the chair, only forcing him to skew his fingers and– “Oh, god!”

You moan out so suddenly that it even shocks him for a moment, but he takes your weakness and uses it to his advantage. Quickly, he licks into your moaning mouth, tickling his fingers upwards, pulling even more animalistic sounds from you. 

“Yeah?” He whispers frantically, so turned on by the way your entire body stiffens. “Right there?” He continues, leaning his full body weight forward with his knee, wincing at the way he presses his cock against anything he can find in the process, just to get you off right here, right now. 

You nod just as frantically, toes curling, arms shooting to the chair in a form that should appear as discomfort, but really you’re just bracing yourself through the tensing of your muscles before all of them relax and pulse at once. 

Your ears pop, but you can still hear your desperate cries of his name somewhere distant. You can even hear him, humming and encouraging your orgasm. You wish you could hold your eyes open to see him, to grab him and force him to fuck his fingers hard into you. God, you could take it right now. You could take just about anything to heighten this feeling of stars bursting behind your eyelids. 

Somehow though, it’s like he knows. Half-way through your orgasm, you feel the weight between your legs shift and his fingers start moving again. Still, your eyes are squeezed shut, and you can't help but to lunge forward and hug against his neck, clinging to him through the prolonged orgasm that his fingers alone have brought to you. 

“Squeezing me so tight–” Sunghoon groans, unsure of if he’s referring to the way your needy cunt crowds his fingers, or the way you cling to him like a lost pet, begging for him to never leave your sight. “Fuck, you’re so pretty like this.”

You hear those words over any of his others. So clear in your head as you snap your head up and look at him. You see him lower his gaze, but your grip doesn’t quite allow him to actually look down at you. Not when he has to physically hold you up anyway. Still, he looks amused up there, knowing that single compliment must’ve hit somewhere inside of you.

You’re not sure why, through all this, Sunghoon calling you pretty makes it so much more intimate. And even as your legs continue to shake, and you release your death grip hug on him, he keeps himself crowded up to you. He’s somehow out of breath just like you are, relishing in the calm silence of your post orgasm as he…Jesus.

It’s not just your imagination. Somehow, it is intimate. It’s the way he pulls his fingers out and both hands shoot to your face. First, he kisses you as if you’re a long lost love. Deeply, slowly. Then, he’s putting one hand at the small of your back, nudging his knee right back between your legs, and pulling you right up against him. 

“Who did you cum for?” Sunghoon asks, pulling back just to lick against your lips and stare directly down at you. “Say my name.”

You don’t hesitate, echoing out with a winced expression, still so out of breath while rubbing your clit to the expanse of his thigh. 

“Su-Sunghoo-Sunghoon-” 

“Yeah?” He encourages you, hearing his name heat his ears up. He moves his pussy-slicked fingers to your mouth while you cry his name, and easily presses your tongue down with them, sliding the digits further and further down your throat. “Sunghoon.” He says his own name. “Say it again.”

You gag around his fingers, unable to obey his demand. 

“Sung–” He inspects the way your tongue struggles against the intrusion in your mouth. “Hoon.” 

You swallow around them now, sputtering, tears now running down the outer apples of your cheeks. He watches you do it too, wondering how good that would feel if it were his cock you’re swallowing around. Knowing you’d probably do it for him if he wanted to right now. 

But…he needs more than that. Despite how delicious you look while gagging, his cock has been neglected and he needs to fuck out the stress from the past however long you’ve been avoiding him. It’s like his brain breaks with the action as he watches you take his fingers in whatever way he offers. You let him do whatever he wants. You’re obeying. 

“Up.” He suddenly says, pulling all physical contact with you away as he turns, steps out of the pants restricting his ankles, and swipes every pen, file, and picture frame off his desk. “Come here, baby.”

You feel like you’re melted to this chair right now, in all honesty. You’re still trying to catch your breath just from touching his cock before he decided to make you see fucking stars, to think you can stand right now is insane.

So, when you don’t immediately hop up and throw yourself onto his desk, he turns to look at you. 

You’re splayed out, legs still spread, toes still curled. Your chest is heaving to breathe, eyes wild and lips so fucking kissable. 

“Oh, fuck.” He sighs to himself in realization, relishing in the image of you he’s only recently been craving. “Look at you.”

You lift your arm to hide your face, feeling apologetic for the way you’ve lost the ability to exist as an active participant right now. Even more apologetic when you glance down at how fucking hard his cock is. Raging hard, so pretty with the tip sputtering precum for god knows how long. 

He watches you stare, and lends you a few moments to catch your breath by gripping it himself. Leaning himself against his desk and twisting his wrist with a tight grip at the base. 

“Is this how you looked at me when I did this before?” He asks, flicking his wrist still with each drag. “So out of it, you look like such a mess, babe.”

You find yourself humming a confirmation to him as you watch, almost reverting back to who you were during that first session. Unseen, only heard, all while you got to see him pleasure himself to almost nothing. You gave him nothing. 

You’ve still only given him nothing. 

And so, very slowly, you force yourself to stand on shaking legs to take those two strides to his desk. Something inside of you tingles when he drops his cock and opens his arms for you, like a good boss would do in this situation. Supporting your unbalanced weight, letting you walk into his comforting grasp. 

“Said my name so pretty, you know.” He comments gently when he holds you close to him. Hands reaching down from the grip around your waist just to grab both of your fleshy ass checks and squeeze them. “You want more, yes?”

He’s quick to the point, only allowing the short and sweet moments to last just enough for them to stick in your head. Just enough to have questions about his actions. Just enough to give him anything, everything, he could want if it involves your body.

You nod almost shyly, dipping your head down and leaning against his chest. 

“Let's get this off of you then.” He smiles with a gentle voice, reaching to the hem of your shirt and pulling it straight up, watching how you lift your arms to help him. “Mhm–” He hums again, loving how the bra drags off of you along with the shirt. He lets both of his hands brush your nipples before he goes back to gripping your ass cheeks and spreading them. 

Spreading them so wide that, once again, you have to lift on your toes just to let him play with your body. Which, oh man. Always wearing his button down shirts, his blazers, his long-sleeve shirts. You can’t help it when you tug at the opened fabric of his shirt, asking silently that he shake it off. Wanting to see his arms, wanting to see the strength in them.

And he does it without hesitation, letting his hands fall from you just for a moment to shake his shirt off, only now hugging against you again and forcing a position change. He turns both of you so now you’re up against his desk, and he’s standing in front of you.

It’s easy for him to push you back in a kiss. Your legs open for him on instinct anyway, so he need not worry about prying those legs open again. You do just as expected when he pushes you too. Your ass hits the desk and you lift on your toes to sit on it. Your legs spread wider, making room for him to step even closer, cock right up against you when he closes any amount of distance, and still? He’s kissing you. 

All across your face, down your neck, back to your lips. And his hands just keep feeling. Massaging your tits, lending small taps to your ass, holding your chin, jaw, neck, and then…he runs them through your hair. 

The feeling is so good you almost forget how you’ve been trying to steal a glimpse of his flexing arms as he grabs at you. Goosebumps prickle and you let out a groan at the pleasure of it. He keeps one hand there now, smiling against his kiss to your ear. 

“You like being pampered?” He asks, now gripping a fist full of your hair and skewing your neck to the side. “Like being moved around like a puppet?”

Never once have you thought about your sex life that way, but when you think about it…maybe. After all, you did enjoy being told when and how to touch yourself, being allowed or forbidden from cumming. Now, with him quite literally moving you around with just a simple grip of your hair? Yeah. 

“By you–” You mutter out as you open your eyes, staring at the ceiling and feeling his tongue lap against your earlobe. 

“Just me?” He leans back, using that same grip in your hair to force you to look at him. “You’d give me that power?”

You nod against the grasp, lips falling open in a moan despite not being pleasured by anything aside from the stinging against your scalp as he pulls little hairs a bit too tightly. 

“You know–” Sunghoon starts now, pressing his hips forward, dropping his other hand to his cock and slapping it right against your weeping cunt. “If I had known you were this dirty...”He sighs out at the image in his head, thinking back to all those times he silently complimented you in his head. Back then, never would he have made comments about your legs out loud, or how your tits would look in certain shirts. Thinking back now, he’s always found you quite beautiful.

Quite fuckable, even. 

You listen to the silence waiting for him to continue, feeling the way he presses the hardened head of his length against your clit repeatedly. 

“I would have propped you up on this desk months ago,” He smiles now, leaning in real close to your ear as his grip in your hair loosens just a bit. “Could’ve had you moaning my name this whole time.”

Then, you feel it. The way he adjusts his weeping cock lower, prodding at your hole just a bit until his tip is entirely enveloped by your clenching walls. 

You swallow a moan and hold your breath, legs shooting around his waist and instinctively trying to force his hips to move forward, trying to force him to penetrate you deeper.

“Shh,” He coos out, holding his hips firm and not letting you control his movements. Then, he kisses just under your ear before peppering them all the way back to your lips. He doesn’t kiss you though, no, he chuckles at you for trying. Watching you let your tongue fall from your mouth, inspecting the way you’re entirely in tune for him right now. “You really want it, don’t you?” He whispers just above your lips. “Want me to fuck you right here, right now?”

You nod absentmindedly, legs still trying to force him to move, arms clinging under his biceps, head still forced into whatever position he keeps it in by the hair. 

“Please–Sunghoon.” You cry in a small voice, feeling as if you’re going insane by the feeling of his tip sitting comfortably in you. 

“You’re so cute.” He smiles, lending you another inch of his length before letting his hand fall from your hair. There, he grips your waist instead, letting a strained grunt fall from his own lips this time. He’s really trying to remain collected about this, and he’s unsure himself why he’s enjoying the act of teasing you like this. He feels like he’s teasing himself more than you right now, seeing as how it’s taking everything in him not to stuff his cock into you hard and fast. “So–so, fucking cute.”

You clench around the few inches in you and it appears that’s all he needed to break entirely. Is he controlling you, or are you controlling him? 

Honestly, who gives a fuck?

You feel his arms shake when he plants them at either side of you, pointing his cock straight into you and sliding in fully. There’s a groan from him that you want to hear so badly, but your own heart beat is thumping in your ears so loudly that you miss half of it. 

The stretch is delicious, and the fact that it’s Sunghoon doing this to you makes this all the more enjoyable. The man who you’ve seen day after day, now holding himself up on the desk you’ve signed papers on with and for him? All so he can angle his hips and shove his cock in? Just to let his arms frantically wrap around your waist? Just so he can scoot you forward on this desk, using your leaking slick to slide you back and forth in time with his hips? 

That groan you wanted to hear? He hasn’t stopped. He’s essentially, controlling the entire situation and when you half open your eyes to witness his face, you’re forced to roll your eyes back in a moan matching his. 

He’s fucking you so deeply right now that all you can do is moan, all you can do is forget the embarrassment, the victimization, the way he’s doing this to you despite the risk of reality crumbling. He could lose his job, you could lose yours, and yet still– he’s fucking you like he doesn’t care.

So, you choose not to care either in the form of grabbing his hair, forcing his head back, and attaching your lips right against his adams apple. You feel him swallow and breathe out a shocked sound, and then? You suck.

Intentionally, you suck, bite, and lick, harder and harder until there’s a deep purple mark there. He doesn’t even fight it, though you feel him try to move his head just to keep you from going too insane with it. You don’t care though, because still you feel his cock splitting you open, forcing you to adjust to him. 

“Ah,” Sunghoon lets out another breath with that familiar chuckle, “Marking me now?” 

You hum a confirmation as you move to a new spot on his neck, absolutely fucking marking him. Feeling devastated by the idea that he’d do this with any other employee. Or any other person in general. 

“Making me all yours, huh?” He continues with his cocky words, feeling the way your pussy clenches him tightly, dripping all over his desk. He’d let you make him yours, with or without the bruising from your mouth. 

“Mhm.” You hum pleasantly, letting out little yelps each time he slams into you. Letting out full moans each time his arms wrap around your waist tighter. 

You continue with the act, littering his pretty neck with your touch and loving how he just lets you. Knowing that he’ll show up at work tomorrow looking a bit tired, but glowing nonetheless, trying to hide all these marks with that tight-necked collar he likes to wear. 

“Whatever you want.” He breathes, letting his hips lose rhythm for just a moment as he feels his muscles tighten. “Fuck, you’re still so tight.” 

You feel like you’re on top of the world as he compliments you, to the point you’re not sure when you’ll cum because your whole body has seemingly been feeling euphoria anyway. Everything feels good, even if his cock reaches deep enough to cause little jolts of pain. The sound of the desk scooting back through the force of his hips is enough to make you take it. Enough to squeeze your legs around him tighter, enough to clench, enough to– forget what you’re doing and let yourself fall into it with him.

Your head falls back from his neck and you pant out little half-calls of his name with each thrust. Your legs loosen from around him too, but his grip on your waist only pushes you back on his desk. Until he’s leaning forward so hard with each thrust that suddenly your back meets the cold wood.

Sandwiched between him and his desk, he follows the action, his hands quickly moving from your waist to your tits, pushing them together just so he can nuzzle his face between them.

There, you look at him. You really look at him. 

What a messy, messy, man. Always so pristine during working hours, now looking so wrecked and out of it as he chases a pleasure that you hope only you can give to him. 

“Mr. Park–” You sigh out in a pleasant voice, watching the way he sucks your tit into his mouth before his eyes open wide just so he can look up at you through each thrust. “Harder.”

You can physically see the way his eyes darken when he pops off from your tit, hands now going back to the desk as he hovers over you and intentionally rolls his hips. 

You feel his cock loosen you up painfully before he intentionally fucks into you. Dragging all the way out, just to push forward in a deep and painful thrust. Over and over again, all while he’s staring straight into your eyes.

As you look up at him, you see the intent in his face. The way he wants to give you exactly what you want. Sweat shining from his cheeks, his neck littered with pretty colors. Oh, he’s actually heavenly when he fucks. 

Better than what you thought that guy on camera would have been. He’s not nonchalant like he was when he was performing. He’s entirely in tune with you and what you want. Like what you want is what he wants. 

You can tell he’s paying no mind to his own face or expression, blatantly putting all of his thoughts into how he’s pleasuring you, his eyes searching your face to tell him he’s doing well. To tell him you feel good, to tell him you’re close or–

“Fuck–” He sighs out, teeth tracing his bottom lip as he glances up, keeping pace with the way he’s been plunging into you. “I can’t keep looking at you,”

You smile, feeling dazed and far away. It feels like it’s just you and him. You’re not in his office, on a desk, or doing anything you shouldn’t be doing. 

“You hear me?” He drops his body weight on you again, letting his hips move freely as he chases and chases. “I’m so close.”

Oh. 

“Then look at me.” You huff out, now shooting a hand between his flexed abs and simply…touching your clit once.

 “Oh–shit.” 

It hits you so fast. Just a simple touch causes your pussy to clench Sunghoon so tightly that he mimics your sound. 

“Ah, fuck- fuck,” His voice sounds frantic as he tries to pull out, only to feel your legs shoot back around him. This time, he lets you force him to stay. He lets those legs of yours push him back in, so deep that he knows he can’t fight. “No, no–” He chokes out, uncaring if his hips show you that he’s lying with his words. “I’m cumming– I need to–”

“Stay!” You shake beneath him but your voice sounds pleading, pressing once more to your clit before letting it go. You clench him again, essentially letting your body finish him off. Letting those clenches squeeze him so tightly, making sure he couldn’t fathom ever wasting his cum. “Don’t pull out.”

He doesn’t. In fact, he presses impossibly deeper, trying to bury his cock into you to the point it even pains him. Arms shaking as he tries to hold himself up again, only to drop his lips to yours under his own weight. His hips are so tense between your legs, his cock is so stiff that you can feel each pumped release, and still you’re experiencing your own euphoria through it. 

To the point your toes are curling and you barely notice the way you leave welts across his back from your fingernails through the intense orgasm. To the point his slack lips against yours feel more natural than anything else. Not kissing, just close. So close that–

He kisses you. 

After it’s all said and done, he still kisses you breathlessly. Passionately almost, clinging to you as his cock twitches as it grows flaccid inside of you.

He doesn’t pull out, he just…kisses.

And as you lay against his wooden desk, body coming down from the pleasure you’ve felt more than once within the past hour, all you can do is let your brain think on its own. Without shame, without embarrassment or anxiety. 

You thought Sunghoon would have been in control the whole time. Teasing you, maybe even making this experience more painful than it needs to be. But no, he…

He’s soft. Gentle, almost. 

Only now do you recognize that as badly as he probably wants to appear harsh, like the confident man he is on camera, you think he needs something else. Not just power, not just money or control. Not even just fucking. 

You think…maybe, Sunghoon needs connection. 

Intimacy. 

And that’s proven when he does finally stand on his own buckled knees, pulling you up with him into a hug where he still kisses you. Up until he takes that shirt you unbuttoned and holds it between your legs, scratching the back of his neck with a shy glance at you. 

“Sorry for the mess.” He echoes in a meek voice, holding that shirt firm against you. “Guess I just couldn’t help myself.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Days later, you find yourself in his bed. Which should have been expected probably. Still doesn’t change the fact that every few hours, you remind yourself the reality of the situation.

It’s not just any bed you’re in. It’s Sunghoon’s bed. 

“Oh, right. The promotion.” Sunghoon suddenly calls out mid-episode. 

You’ve been here with him all day. To the point neither of you bother to put on clothes now because you know the spark will come back at any given time and you’ll be all over each other again. Still, lazing in his bed with him on a Saturday afternoon is nice. 

“I’ve been a bit occupied but– the interviews for the assistant position has been pushed back a bit due to you not coming to work.  I was supposed to notify you when you got back, but you know, we had priorities–” 

Sunghoon sighs, embarrassed. It’s nice actually, seeing him in his natural element. Allowing you to see him as more than just the guy that wears a suit and tie every day at work. 

“Unrelated to us…doing this, but, you’re up for the interview. Just need to schedule it with me. If you still want to be my assistant, I mean.”

“Oh, I can only imagine what that could entail.”

Sunghoon seems offended by this remark as he pulls back with furrowed brows.

“Excuse me?”

“Did you fuck the last one too?” You give him a playful smile, prodding at his soft-skinned chest.

“Absolutely not?!” 

“You’re still gonna fuck me too though, right? Even if I’m constantly having to nag you for signatures and meetings?” 

Sunghoon stares at you before smiling. 

“Well, let's see if you get the job anyway. Rhonda from Marketing is applying too.”

You lend a half-joke gag at him. 

“Is it too forward to ask for special attention for the position along with a sexual favor?” You tread the thin line. “I’m half joking but wouldn’t it be like…normal for us to be seen around each other at work if I’m working a job that requires it?”

Sunghoon thinks hard.

“You’re really asking to fuck your way up the ladder?”

“Aren’t you the one who offered it so I wouldn’t tell your dirty little secret?” You narrow your eyes at him. “But no, I’m asking for the job I’ve been trying to earn for ages. Besides, I’d still fuck you anyway.”

“Fair.” Sunghoon thinks harder still. “Rhonda would probably find out too, if she were to get the position anyway, considering my assistants are often intertwined in my personal business as well.”

“Oh, I’m personal business now?”

“Babe, my hand has been on your tit for an hour now.” 

Well, he’s not wrong.

“Rhonda is really close with HR too…” You trail off, feeling a bit anxious. “I think she’d hold it over both of us if she found out.” 

“In all fairness, you’ve been considered for the job more than a few times the past few months. Rhonda only applied during your two week avoidance of me. The reason she’s even up for the position is because my boss thinks you’re too flaky.” 

Oh, so you have a chance with or without putting his dick in your mouth again?

“Who else has applied?”

“Confidential.” Sunghoon shrugs. “I still have to follow company rules even if we’re breaking a few of them right now. What I can tell you is, over fifteen other candidates have already been phased out by me personally.” 

You pause.

“Why?”

“Bad matches, mostly. Two of them have been caught talking shit about me through the company emails, and the others? Many outside applicants, all freshman college students with strict schedules.”

“Being my assistant is not an easy job, and even before all of this, you’ve practically been doing the job already, better than the current assistant I have.”

You damn fucking right you have.

“How many are still in the running?”

“Two.”

Oh, this job is soooooo yours. 

“Just, one more thing.” Sunghoon sighs. “If you get this job, we cannot be fucking in my office. No sexual stuff at work. We can take lunch together, or I’ll bring you home after work, but absolutely nothing at work.”

Oh, he thinks you want him that badly? 

“Who says I need to fuck you during work hours anyway? I know how to control myself.”

“It’s not you who I’m worried about.” Sunghoon looks away, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Yeah?” You smile. “You gonna be calling me into your office just to torture yourself?”

“Oh, absolutely.” 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

pls remember to leave feedback and reblog! :D love you!

[endless-weightless]

Ford Pines x GN!reader headcanons!

I'm surprised it took me this long to get into Gravity Falls. Anyways this has both SFW and NSFW so beware. There's also a brief mention of being AFAB as a possibility but other than that it's completely gender neutral (I'm 99% sure, I didn't proofread too well lol).

SFW

Right off the bat, I’m saying he’s autistic because so am I and I said so.

If you’re someone who needs reassurance or is generally anxious/paranoid about anything he’ll go into long (often scientific) explanations to ease your mind and also throw in some fun facts.

Both a listener and a yapper. He loves nothing more than the sound of your voice but also loves being able to spout all sorts of things about his research and interests while you stare at him lovingly.

Can’t sleep unless you’re next to him. You don’t even need to be cuddling, your presence is just the one thing he needs to fall asleep.

That being said, he will NEVER pass up an opportunity to cuddle. Watching a movie? Cuddling. Working at his desk in the lab? Cuddling on his lap. Cooking something in the kitchen? He’s got his arms wrapped around you as he presses loving kisses into your temple.

He rarely swears, but when he does it always makes you do a double-take (and maybe giggle because it sounds so odd coming from him).

Probably tried weed once or twice in the '70s and was somewhat part of the psychedelic rock scene. Stan has some old photos of him during that time somewhere but Ford is absolutely mortified by the idea of you seeing him in bell-bottom jeans.

It doesn’t matter how long you two have been together, every time he sees you he feels the same as he did the day you two met. Ford will never stop becoming flustered at the sight of you.

Post-Weirdmaggedon he became very anxious at the thought of you being out alone or not being near him. He feels like he needs to be on guard at all times so that he can protect you. He eventually calms down after some reassurance from you and a fuck ton of therapy.

While he lacks some emotional intelligence he’s actually very attentive and knows exactly what you need when you’re upfront about your feelings. As long as you’re not vague and communicate, he knows what to do to help you.

Adding onto that, I think he briefly studied psychology in college so he’d have a pretty good understanding of any mental health issues you might have.

Said “No more Mr Nice Guy” one time and hasn’t heard the end of it from anyone.

NSFW

Has to stop himself from cumming too quickly when you tell him how good he’s making you feel. Stroking his ego (and other things) is the best way to get him horny.

Will always ask you for consent no matter what it is. You could be mid-fuck and he’d still ask if he could put his hands on your hips.

This is just my personal headcanon but I believe while he didn’t really have too much experience before he got stuck on the other side of the portal (probably hooked up with Fiddleford once or twice tho), I fully believe that after a few years of dimension-hopping, he would’ve had a few one-night stands (mans gotta blow off some steam). So when he gets the chance to fuck you, a real human from his dimension, he’s more than ecstatic, especially since he’s picked up more than a few tricks over the past thirty years.

Knows how to use all twelve of his fingers.

Since Ford was sucked into the portal in the early ’80s and spent thirty years in there, he’s super confused when you mention shaving down there or being embarrassed about your body hair (if you do either) since the last time he was around everyone preferred going all natural.

This one’s less sexy but I’m putting it here anyways. He avoided taking off his shirt for ages since he didn’t want you to see all the scars he’d gotten over the years or any of the tattoos related to the things he did in the portal, especially the ones related to Bill. Surprisingly not as insecure about his “Flirty Gal” tramp stamp.

Doesn’t understand that he’s ridiculously hot. 

You jokingly said “Yes sir” one time and he got hard so quickly.

Although he does rather enjoy you taking the lead.

Loves experimenting with cock warming and edging. Literally. He’ll time the both of you and have everything written down somewhere and draw a graph with extra info like if you’re someone with a menstrual cycle and how that affects the results.

[devildom-moss]

Hi there! Hope you’re having an amazing day today! If you can may we please get some headcaons for the obey me brothers with a MC who’s like super funny like outrageously funny? Maybe they don’t show it at first due to the fact that they’re living in a house with 7 demons that would turn them into a hashtag if they breathed the wrong way but slowly start to relax after a while and start showing their talent in making people laugh. Thank you if you decide to do this! 🫶🏾

This took longer than I wanted it to, but I hope you like it!

MC is actually hilarious headcanons

Lucifer

He has a love-hate relationship with your sense of humor. 

On one hand, your ability to make him laugh warms his heart. He knows he can be a bit uptight, but the fact that you’re funny enough to get him to laugh is a comfort – knowing that he can rely on you to lift his spirits with just an off-handed comment that happens to be the funniest thing he has heard all day. 

However, he hates that you once again have power over him. First it was the pact, and now you can just make him laugh in the middle of an important meeting. That would be incredibly embarrassing for him. 

Lucifer suspected that you might have a sense of humor when he overheard a comment you made under your breath about one of his brothers. He had to stifle a chuckle to avoid being caught eavesdropping. 

His suspicions were confirmed when he walked into the common room to investigate the commotion only to find half of his brothers nearly dying of laughter with you in the middle – Asmo was even wheezing. 

He enjoys watching you put a smile on his brothers’ faces.

Mammon

He loves when you make him laugh – especially when he starts laughing so loudly that someone yells at him to shut up. It just makes him crack up even harder. He’ll lock eyes with you after being chastised and then double over in laughter again.

However, Mammon doesn’t want you sharing your jokes with anyone else. The very idea that you could possibly be making anyone else laugh breaks his heart. 

Mammon was probably the first person to realize that you have comedic talent. Something about hanging out alone with him in his room gave you the opportunity and confidence to joke around with him.

He was surprised as he gasped for air. When did you become so funny? 

Whenever you make him laugh, he instinctively leans in closer to you. If you make him laugh enough, he ends up with his head against your shoulder – laughing against your skin with tears in his eyes.

Leviathan 

He’s jealous that you have all the talent. “You’re too OP-ed, MC.”

How can someone be so funny and gorgeous and the best human he has ever known? Levi wishes he could be funny like you. If he could make you laugh the way you can make others laugh, maybe you would be able to love him forever. 

He and Asmo were the next to be exposed to your comedic talent while you, Levi, Asmo, and Mammon were watching a movie in Levi’s room. 

However, it makes it harder for him to game with you because you can throw him off by making him laugh or by flirting with him. If he’s serious about the game, he warns you, “no jokes.”

Levi makes you tell him jokes when he feels anxious outside of the house; it’s hard to panic when he can’t focus on anything else through the laughter.

Satan

Satan appreciates your humor. What he doesn’t appreciate is that he was the last person to experience your funny side.

Between spending a lot of time in the library/places where you’re expected to be quiet, his slightly intimidating personality, and his quick wit that could easily cut you down if you misspoke, it was hard to feel comfortable enough to joke around him.

He was pretty pissed when he walked into the House of Lamentation after a dinner with his acquaintance to find all of his brothers laughing around the dining room table – even Lucifer was covering his mouth and attempting to stifle a laugh. When he asked what was going on and Lucifer glanced in your direction, Satan was surprised that you were the source of their absolute breakdown laughing fit. Even though he was irritated to be the last one, he didn’t ask for the playback and figured that if you were that funny, he’d get his chance eventually.

Once he knows that you’re a comedic genius, he keeps trying to weaponize your humor: encouraging you to break Lucifer during meetings or parties or making you distract his brothers so he can sneak another cat into the house.

When he’s angry, talking to you soothes that rage more than most things. It’s as if his sweet laughter filling a room snuffs out the fire burning under his skin like a charm – like you were charming him.

Asmodeus 

Asmo loves that your humor can brighten a room. You’re such a good time, and he loves spending time with you because he knows you’ll bring a smile to his face. 

Once you are comfortable enough to show your funny side, Asmo loves taking you out to parties. Who else gets to say they came with the funniest, second most beautiful person at the party? 

He’s so proud of loving and being loved by someone who can bring a smile to a room full of demons. As much as he craves being the center of attention, he also adores watching you shine.

One of his favorite things is coming home late from a party with you - the both of you trying to stifle your laughter as you sneak back into his room. When he just collapses into bed with you, his laughter finally free to reverberate off the walls, he feels so much peace and love for you.

How funny you are can make him feel a bit insecure. Asmo knows he’s gorgeous, but he can never be as clever and hilarious as you. What if being beautiful and stylish isn’t enough to keep you around? He will completely disregard his ability to be loving and creative.

Beelzebub

This boy is always busy with his club activities, and he can be a bit dense and hard to joke around with, so he is one of the last to discover your comedic talent. 

He walked into the House of Lamentation to find Asmo and Belphie doubled over on the couch while you were pacing the room and telling them a story about your week (aka putting on a miniature stand-up show). He leaned against the doorframe, quietly admiring you in your element. In that moment, the affection he had for you dug a little deeper into his heart than before.

Beel is delighted to discover that you can make his brothers and loved ones laugh.

Other than the sound of someone working in the kitchen accompanied by the smell of a home-cooked meal, the sound of his brothers laughing feels more like home than anything else. Beel and his brothers laugh more after you start to open up and joke around with them, and as such, he has never been more at peace.

Sometimes when you make Beel laugh (mostly when you’re alone with him), he has a tendency to grab you and pull you closer until you can feel his breath against your skin. His laughter seems to vibrate through your body and his happiness is infectious.

Belphegor

Belphie prides himself on understanding you, so even though Mammon was the first person you joked with and Asmo and Levi got to witness your humor before him, he is still happy that he knew you’d be funny if you were just comfortable enough.

“I knew it,” he admits almost breathlessly. Normally, he might get jealous and possessive, wishing that you had started to show him your funny side first. However, he’s too pleased that you are finally comfortable enough around him to show him another side of yourself.

Like Beel, Belphie likes to hold you when you make him laugh. He won’t let go until you or his brothers pry him off.

Your humor can (occasionally) keep Belphie awake, which can be annoying when he’s exhausted, but he would happily lose a bit of sleep to keep you the way you are.

He won’t admit it, but he appreciates that you can lighten the mood and cheer up his brothers – especially Beel. That said, Belphie would also like you to use your humor to help him come up with better pranks on Lucifer or make up creative nicknames to insult Lucifer with.

Belphie asks you to rename the group chats and nicknames for his contacts in his phone. It can make him chuckle easily – even after a bad day.

I didn't mean to push Friday's post all the way to Sunday - almost Monday. I'm going to try to post 3 requests and/or fics this week to make up for it. I finally have access to my computer again.

[bicayaya]

as of now, i’m on a semi-hiatus.

under the cut i’ll talk a little about this decision. it’ll probably be a long post and it’s basically a vent, so pls don’t feel pressured to read it.

maybe all i say here will sound confusing, specially because lately expressing myself in english is being very hard. but i’ll try to make some sense.

well, there’s two main reasons why i’m deciding to do this. first of all, ever since i went on a semi-hiatus during may/june, i feel that i’m unable to be 100% back on this account, like i lost my place here. i always felt anxious and nervous about interacting, but somehow it became even worse after being some time away from tumblr. this is no one’s fault (probably just my own), but i can’t help but feel disconnected from the rest of the fandom. which makes me sad, because there’s a lot of people here who i really like and who i miss interacting with more. but in the past few weeks, every time i thought of interacting, something kept blocking me, i felt like i had nothing to add to the conversation and that no one would even care about anything i could possibly say (again, i’m aware that this is mostly my anxiety talking and no one’s to blame for me feeling like this other than myself). this feeling of rejection made me even avoid opening the app some days, because seeing others interacting made me feel even worse about my current lack of social skills.

the second reason is the fact that creating is not bringing me any joy right now. again, a fact that makes me really sad, because i love drawing, i love my ocs and i still have a lot of ideas i would like to share. but the process of creating them isn’t being as fun as it was a few months ago. i had a conversation about this with my psychologist recently, and she made me realize that instead of using my free time doing something i was in the mood to or resting, i was forcing myself to do the things i thought i had to do. i still love art, and i don’t plan on giving up on it, but maybe i should try focusing and trying different hobbies for now. because lately all i felt while trying to create was frustration, and i don’t want to ruin something i love by associating it with bad feelings. and honestly, if i can’t create, i feel like there’s nothing for me to even post here.

these two reasons are also connected to the fact that i’m not on a good mental state right now. i won’t elaborate much, because these are personal matters that i don’t feel comfortable sharing here, but i’ve been feeling down and anxious most of the time. this makes me feel like an awful person, which makes me avoid talking with others because i fear being bad with them (and consequently makes me avoid any kind of interaction, like i said before), and not keeping touch makes me feel even worse and i just keep constantly finding myself in this cicle. my routine is not the healthiest right now either, which i think might be making everything worse.

i’m not happy making this decision, but i think it’s necessary because i’m not happy with how things are right now either. there’s still a lot i would like to share, specially involving my ocs, but i just can’t do anything right now.

even with all of this, i don’t want to lose contact with the friends i’ve made here. you’re all very precious to me and always showed me a lot of kindness and support. if anyone wants to reach out to me for any reason, i’ll still have my tumblr notifications turned on, so you can dm me or send me messages on discord (same username as here). the only posts i’ll be checking out are the ones i’m tagged, so if you want me to see something that you think i might like, feel free to tag me! i’m sure i’ll be happy to see it.

you can also still send asks for me or for my ocs (in this or in their blog). i don’t know if i’ll be able to answer them quickly, as i still have a few old unanswered asks, but i’ll try, specially if it’s something important.

and, something important: i still plan on doing the requests i received on my birthday event. i think it’s unfair to everyone who joined to ignore it and i want to keep my word. but i can’t promise when i’ll post them, because i’ll probably take longer than usual to finish any drawing.

i guess that’s all. please take care everyone, if you need me for anything (or just want to reach out) you know where to find me! hopefully this decision won’t last long.

my intro/masterpost

[frvnkcastles]

SOMETHING TO DREAM ABOUT ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: Various moments between you, Frank and your glasses. (Fem!reader, some descriptions added.)

Word Count: 2.9k

Author’s note: Y’all, I am so nervous posting this because I have never posted on Tumblr before but I figured I might as well. I’ve been posting on AO3 for years now but I think Tumblr might be more active and eager to react so here I am :) I’m still figuring everything out so bear with me!

He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. That was immediately crystal-clear to you — even with old, fading bruises and fresh cuts on his face, even with a beaten nose and an eternal scowl etched onto his rough features, he was nothing short of breath-taking and you wanted nothing more than to spend the entire evening mapping out all the details of his face.

But, considering you were at your friend’s birthday party, that was probably not appropriate.

Maybe Frank would have preferred it, though, because this definitely wasn’t his scene. He was only here because he had a soft spot for your best friend, something she had mentioned to you in passing before but you had still never seen him apart from the news. He didn’t look so scary now, obviously awkward and uncomfortable sipping a beer in the corner of the room while your best friend’s other guests mingled with each other. He had even bothered to put on the one black button-up he had without blood on it.

”Okay, so, I see you eyeing Frank and I’m kinda glad, ’cause I have to admit I had an ulterior motive with this party”, your best friend intervened with your thoughts, and with a frown melting onto your forehead, you turned to face her again.

”Don’t be mad, but I totally think you two would hit it off! You’re this… anxious ball of love and kindness and he’s a protective ole’ teddy bear who’s been through the wringer. You’re both introverts, you both love dogs—”, she continued rambling, and with a scoff, you waved your hand to stop her from going any further.

”Save the pitch, I don’t think The Punisher wants anything to do with me”, you argued, although your gaze still lingered on him. It was safe to say that you were wary when it came to relationships — blame it on the familial trauma and the worst examples when it came to marriage, but you also knew that your best friend wouldn’t set you up with just anyone.

Pouting, she took your drink from you. ”Do me a favour, please. If you hate him, I’ll never try this again”, she insisted, and with a huff, you glanced at her and then back at the brooding, tall man. He did look good in that button-up.

Without a word, you adjusted your glasses and stepped past your friend to make it towards Frank, not even quite sure what you would say to him. In the end, you settled for good old,

”Hi.”

He had noticed you already. Fuck, of course he had. You were adorable in every possible definition of the word, with your floral dress and your black, heavy boots that almost matched his, not to mention the shaped glasses hanging on your nose. His throat closed up at the way your dark curls fell on your collarbones, and the sight of your twinkling smile made him hastily draw a sip from his beer to avoid dry mouth.

”Hey”, he grunted before licking his lips and nodding towards your friend, who was definitely not watching the two of you from behind the cake. ”She make you come up to me?”

Your smile fell at the idea of being the umpteenth woman your friend had sent his way. ”Yeah”, you swallowed, ”does she do this to you a lot?” A wave of nerves washed over you and you began fiddling with your fingers, something Frank noticed immediately, as well as the chipped nail polish.

”Nah. Just mentioned that there’d be someone special tonight”, he corrected you, but his words did very little to ease your anxiety — if anything, being put in the spotlight made it worse. He could see it on your face, and it pushed a chuckle out of him before he extended a hand for you to take. ”Frank”, he introduced himself curtly, and with a renewed smile, you took his much, much larger hand and shook it gently.

Okay, maybe approaching him hadn’t been the worst idea.

He certainly was glad you did. Before he knew it, you had gotten under his skin, and the more time he spent with you, the more obvious it became.

He was still kept up at night thinking about that time you had stitched him up for the first time. He had a nasty gash on his hip, and the tension in your apartment had been thick enough to cut with a knife — you had been on your knees, he had been on the couch, stripped down to just his boxers and giving you words of encouragement when you hesitated with the needle.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He had hissed in pain when you had poked him with the needle and you had apologized profusely, prompting a gruffly spoken ”’S okay, sweetheart. You’re doin’ good.” Then he had really looked at you in the dimly-lit living room and the words had just tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them.

”Ya got new glasses”, he had noted, stating the obvious and catching your attention. You had halted, looked up at him and broken into a ridiculously sweet smile, one that still made his heart do flips when he thought back to it.

”You noticed”, you had hummed softly, clearly touched by his attentiveness, and he could swear he could pinpoint the exact moment he knew he wanted to kiss you.

”Yeah”, he had breathed out, ”they look nice on you.”

You made him feel at home without even knowing, your presence always reassuring and encouraging, your positive energy and big, sympathetic heart an absolute contrast to his gruff, scary demeanor. And yet, it worked so well. He longed to touch you, hold you, kiss you, shield you from the world and learn everything about you. He was undeniably falling for you and there was nothing he could do about it even if he wanted to.

Your friend had heard all about it, fucking Red had heard all about it, though that was more so because one skip of Frank’s heart had exposed him entirely. Lieberman hadn’t heard much but picked up on it easily, right before proceeding to tease Frank about it and then declare being in love looked good on him. And now, the group Curt had introduced him to was hearing all about it.

”She’s real good, y’know?” Frank thought out loud, a ridiculous grin on his face as he looked down at the cup of coffee in his hands and huffed. ”It’s—it’s weird, I guess. Didn’t think I’d feel that way about anyone again. And don’t get me wron’, I… I miss my wife like crazy. Every day. But this girl… lemme tell you, she makes me feel like, uh, like there’s hope. Yeah. Yeah, that’s… that’s kinda cliché. But she makes me wanna believe that every day doesn’t have to just be survivin’. There can be somethin’ real and meaningful. Because she is. She is so fuckin’ special. She’s kind and understanding and against all odds she… it’s the way she looks at me, yeah? Like I ain’t a monster or—or broken. She looks at me like I’m…”, Frank explained, trailing off as he struggled to find the right words. You looked at him like he was beautiful. Good. Worthy. He still fought to believe in it, but you made it a little easier for him.

”Sounds like you really care about her, son”, one of the older men chimed in when Frank failed to speak up again, and with an almost embarrassed chuckle, he glanced at his fingertips before giving the man a look.

”Yes, sir. Got that right”, he confirmed, his heart jumping at his chest at the mere thought of you and your bashful smiles. There was no feeling sweeter than making you grin like that, awkward but flattered, like you didn’t believe you were as cute as he had said. But you were. You were.

”Why don’t you ask her out? Life is too short to pine”, another older man scoffed, a little unimpressed with Frank’s lack of action, and at that, the Castle snorted.

”Nah, I… I want to. Just feels a lil’ unfair to her, ’s all. How can I drag her into all my shit, y’know?” Frank contemplated with a frown, and at that, Curtis finally took the turn to speak, a small smile on his face.

”It’d be her decision, Frank. It’s scary, it is, but… she’s a grown woman. It’s not unfair to give her the choice to stick by your side. I mean, who knows — maybe she’ll reject you”, he pointed out tauntingly, and at that, Frank laughed — great pep talk. Nevertheless, he knew Curt had a point. ”But maybe she’ll say yes. And maybe it won’t be a walk in the park but any baggage is easier for two to carry than one. If she wants you like you want her… it’s not dragging her into anything. That’s what companionship is. Standing by your loved one even when it gets tough”, Curt continued, before speaking the words that finally convinced Frank, ”would you not do the same for her?”

The next time Frank saw you, you were once again meeting your mutual friend. The diner she had coaxed you both into was bustling with people and noise and yet, the only thing you seemed to notice was each other. As soon as Frank entered the quaint diner, he spotted you laughing with your friend, the joy in your voice reaching his ears in a way that had him suppressing a smile while making his way over to the right booth. His tall frame striding past the other people caught your eye almost immediately, and when you saw his dark eyes staring back at you, your laugh melted into a shy smile while greeting him.

”You look nice”, Frank noted while seating himself opposite you and your friend, his nod directed at the both of you but the way his eyes lingered on you made heat crawl to your cheeks. Picking at the sleeves of your dress, you couldn’t help but wonder if you looked nice enough, and on cue, Frank leaned in while licking his lips. ”Real nice”, he emphasized, and it made your heart swell as you met his gaze.

”Thank you”, you breathed out, ”you too, Frankie.” Between the nickname, your signature perfume and the kind look in your eyes, Frank could have combusted right there and then, but instead simply leaned back in his seat and exhaled.

”Oh, my order’s up, I think”, your friend cleared her throat with a knowing smile. ”Why don’t you two catch up?” she planned mischievously before slinking away, leaving you and Frank chuckling awkwardly while observing one another.

God, he was so pretty. He put your stomach in knots and filled your chest with butterflies and made your knees weak and you so wanted to tell him but in the end… you just smiled up at him in silence, hoping he’d realize how much you adored him.

”Hey, this is gonna be weird”, you broke the peace, getting up from your seat so you could slide next to his and give him a doe-eyed look, the kind that made his breathing pick up. ”But your shirt looks really soft and my glasses have so many fingerprints on them”, you finished, and immediately, he choked out a laugh but gave you an encouraging nod.

You grinned and reached for the hem of his t-shirt, trying your damnedest not to accidentally brush against his bare skin while you took off your glasses and quickly began swiping the lenses with the material. Frank was speechless, unable to do anything except stare at your teeth sinking into your bottom lip while you diligently scrubbed the glasses.

”Hey, uh… I was thinkin’”, he coughed, swallowing thickly when you put your glasses back on but remained close to him, the height difference forcing you to look up at him. ”Yeah, uh, I was wonderin’ if you, uh, maybe wanted to do somethin’ together some time? Just the two a’us?” he questioned with his eyebrows furrowed as if he was doubting himself as soon as the words left his mouth.

He looked a little shy, even, his lips twitching adorably as he eyed you carefully, and certain that your heart would burst, you just managed a nod.

”Yeah?”

The sheer amazement in his voice made you giddy to a point where you couldn’t hold back an incredulous laugh, nodding again and again to confirm. ”I would really like that. I could make you dinner?” you proposed, and with narrowed eyes, Frank tilted his head at you, suddenly spiked with confidence. He was so used to being nervous with you, but now, realizing you felt the same way around him, he couldn’t help but feel a little smug.

”Think we could do it together? Wouldn’t want you put you out. And, you know, more time for us to spend together, right?” he planned, and with your heart swinging in your chest, you exhaled shakily.

”Does tomorrow work for you?” you uttered out, unable to believe you were a promise away from having a date with Frank. And with the same, astonished thought, Frank broke into a grin.

”It’s a date, sweetheart.”

And as promised, he showed up to your apartment the next evening and helped you with the pasta meal you had agreed upon. Both of you got over your initial nerves and in a blink of an eye, it was almost midnight and you were laughing on your couch, your loud cackle probably disturbing your neighbors but giving Frank an absolute sense of peace. He snorted into his wine glass over his own, stupid joke, his ego boosted by making you so amused and entertained.

”I am really glad you came tonight, Frankie”, you sighed, a shy smile taking over as you eyed him and placed a hand over his. His stomach swung at the feeling and he exhaled before turning to face you and nodding.

”Me too, sweetheart”, he whispered. Before either of you could say anything else, he noticed the stray eyelash on one of your lenses and leaned forward. ”Stay still f’me”, he spoke lowly, and not daring to even breathe, you watched the concentration tug on his eyebrows and narrow his eyes as he sat an inch from your face.

Carefully, he lifted his finger up to your glasses and with his trimmed nail, caught the eyelash and observed it briefly before blowing it away. The warm air touched upon your face, as well, and you exhaled heavily when he seemed to stay right there, not moving even though he was so, so close.

Fuck it, he thought. He had spent enough time fantasizing about the touch and taste of your lips — he needed to take action. And so, he gently placed a hand on your jaw and pulled you in to close the imperceptible distance between. Your lips met in the middle and your eyes closed on instinct, your hands clamoring up to his knees to balance yourself as he kissed you; first, sweet and tender, but eventually he leaned in deeper and his tongue took your breath away.

The air got hot and heavy and your hand wound up wrapped up in the chest of Frank’s button-up — the same one he had worn the first time you had met, and you felt light-headed when he pulled away. Your eyes met for a fleeting second, but no words were needed for him to dive back in and paw at your hips so you would get the hint and straddle him. You pushed him back onto the cushions enough to sit on his lap, his back pressed against the couch and his feet planted firmly on the ground as he let you tower over him.

And it was so goddamn better than he had ever been able to imagine.

When he was finally balanced over you in your bed, your chest rising and falling beneath him and his chain hanging above your face, he reached to take your glasses off of your eyes. It took you a few blinks to get accustomed to him being right there, the cuts and bruises on his face looking so soft now, and you slowly smiled while taking in the sight of him. From the endlessly deep and dark eyes to the swollen lips, he was beautiful and you couldn’t help but feel so lucky to be right here with him, legs wrapped around his hips and his fingers interlocking with yours.

He made damn sure to grab your glasses for you the next morning, too.

And it became a routine. Still now, an entire year later, he rolled over to you on the bed and attached his lips to your temple while murmuring a husky good mornin’ baby into your skin, before reaching over onto the nightstand and grabbing your glasses. While your eyes got oriented to the morning light, he gently unfolded the frames and slid the glasses onto your face, a smile curling his lips upwards as he did.

”There’s my pretty girl”, he mumbled before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

Yeah, he was pretty damn in love.

[kassandras-one-braincell]

i have so many more thoughts about eivor help me

- i saw your post and you’re so right. she literally gives off warm vibes. even her smell just makes you want to curl up in her arms and never move

- trinkets. she loves trinkets. any time she’s working on a project outside or out and about, she has to pick something up. every time you come home, there’s a new rock or small object on a bookshelf that you specifically dedicated to eivor’s trinket collecting.

- okay i… do not know anything about building. or dirty work. i hate getting my hands dirty (this is a complete self-serve please bear with me here). eivor would LOVE to do all of the handy work for you. especially if she comes home after a long day and sees you (cue gasp) trying to fix a drawer or a shelf on your own with her tools. she would rush over to you and tbh (me) you’ve probably been crying because why is building stuff so hard??? and you chipped a nail which made you even more upset. eivor just.. gently easing the tools out of your hands and telling you to go take a nice shower and relax while she takes care of it.

- on that note, eivor would be great at taking care of your anxiety. especially if you’re more on the shy/quiet/introverted side.

- in public, it’s a protective arm around you, and mean glares to anyone who might make you anxious. sweet forehead kisses and reassuring words whispered into your ear after you have to order at a restaurant. ushering you into a quiet space when you get overwhelmed and hugging you close, providing warmth and comfort <3

- in private, she amps it up a lot more. i have anxiety, so i get anxious at random times over random things. if you’re cooking or working on some homework or paperwork and get overwhelmed, she’s there in an instant with a big bear hug and all the kisses you could ever want. maybe it’s just one of those days where you wake up and feel like crap. eivor takes the day off and stays in with you, encouraging you to eat and at least read a little bit of a book or take a shower. if you can’t? she’s more than happy to stay in bed, snuggled up with you.

- speaking of which.. eivor’s bed is probably the comfiest thing in the world. minimal but extremely fluffy and comfy pillows, a big comforter with some extra throw blankets. expensive ass sheets. probably silk or something. she wants you to be as comfy as possible. also she has one of those attached lights on her headboard for when she reads late at night and doesn’t want to wake you. i don’t make the rules

okay i’ll probably be back with more but um. here’s this

Eivor absolutely gives the impression that she's patient and sympathetic around people of a more anxious disposition, yeah. I see her as encouraging without being demanding during those bad days. She would contentedly spend a day with you doing nothing but relying on comforts, but she'd move you and your blankets to the sofa, so your sleep pattern wouldn't suffer, and you'd get some more natural light come through.

By nature, she's very rational and wouldn't let you neglect yourself, but she understands how ordinary tasks can be daunting when you're in a shit state of mind. If you can't bring yourself to eat a meal, she'll offer you lighter, snackier foods intermittently. If brushing your teeth is too overwhelming, she'll bring you some mouthwash and a cup to spit it into (no word of a lie, this is how I avoided serious dental damage when I was at my lowest - a little goes a long way). She'll take care of your hair for you, and encourage you to walk with her into the kitchen for the sake of your joints. She is your rock, but a soft rock. Like soapstone.

Eivor loving building and tinkering is canon, that's the law, give her a toolbox and some flat pack furniture and she'll be busy for hours. While I'm a bit of a high femme handyman who can vividly imagine having hers-and-hers toolboxes, you're on the mark, she wouldn't mind one bit if all the diy is left to her, especially if you hate it! Why would she want you distressing yourself when she has powertools?Speaking of, don't let her loose in a diy store. You won't see her until it closes. Love her for that even more.

[laurfilijames]

Okay, I’m here, I’m making myself comfortable 😌

I’m avoiding SOA talk until I finish season seven, so I don’t stumble onto anything (honestly shocked I’ve managed to stay spoiler free for so long)

So, our man Will Miller… do you have any of your own head cannons for the most reserved of the Triple Frontier boys?

Ooooo yay!!!!!!! I was so happy to see this in my inbox you have no idea 🤗💗 Sorry it took me so long to answer, I'm hosting family at my cottage this weekend and there are dogs and children everywhere and not a moments peace 😅

Totally fair to avoid SOA talk! I'm glad you've managed to remain spoiler-free until this point!

You bet your ass I have headcanons about the Captain! This man is on my mind day and night and each time I watch TF, more thoughts (and thots) and ideas come up and I simply can't get enough.

So, here's a few I'll share that maybe some will agree with and maybe some won't!

The Miller's had a rough upbringing. Their dad was a drunk and their mom left when they were fairly young, resulting in Will stepping up to care for Benny and making sure he was looked after, earning Will his seriousness and maturity far sooner than he should've.

Because of that, Will was out of that house as soon as possible, having enlisted the day he turned 17.

Growing up, Will taught Benny how to fight and defend himself, making him feel less guilty about leaving his younger brother at home without him when he went away.

Because he saw what happened to his parents, Will doesn't drink much. He doesn't like the loss of control and hates the emotions it stirs up in him when he does have a couple more than he normally would. He will have a beer or two with the guys or enjoy a glass of wine with dinner occasionally, but never enough to even get a buzz. 

He keeps track of everything because it helps him process things. He never wants to forget the things he's done; good or bad. It helps him stay accountable for his actions and he's not the type of guy to kid himself into thinking his position can justify it, and he's learned over the years to acknowledge rather than bury what's happened. The numbers are sort of a certainty for him and help ground him.

Will doesn't sleep well. He suffers from nightmares often, and on nights when they don't happen, he's usually awake on account of his own thoughts. When a nightmare does happen, he wakes up in a full sweat and more often than not it's accompanied by screaming and thrashing around. To help pass the hours when he isn't able to fall back asleep, he'll go for a run to get rid of that anxious energy or hit the 24 hour gym.

I'm one to believe that his relationship with his ex-fiancée wasn't the best, that maybe they had been together since they were young and over the years grew apart and fell out of love as they changed and got older. Will's choice in career caused a lot of stress between them and wedged them apart even more, and unfortunately she took advantage of his deployments to indulge in affairs with men who suited her better. The Publix incident was the last straw for her; she wasn't willing to stick around to try to help him through things and abandoned him completely, leaving him to spiral before picking himself back up again with the help of his brother and friends.

I honestly could keep going but I'll stop there! Please, please, please if you or anyone else has opinions on any of this and wants to discuss it further send me an ask or reblog this. I just love talking about my man 😩💗

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hello, could i get a matchup for genshin impact and honkai star rail? pronouns: any are fine, he/him preferred sexuality: questioning but maybe slight masc lean zodiac/mbti: leo/virgo (depending on if you're using the old one or the new one), INTJ 4w5 appearance: 4'10 (i'm not even that young i don't know how that happened) with pale skin, i have mid-length straight black hair. huge eyebags kek personality: to people i don't know well i'm relatively quiet, although i will make sarcastic comments every now and then if i find it funny. if i know someone more closely (or i just think they're annoying), i will do everything in my power to be as eccentric as possible. i will say the most controversial (and borderline creepy) things in public, and i get a ton of side-eyes which i find hilarious. i honestly have a ton of problems at home and mentally, but i don't vent, and if i do, it's done in a humorous way. i can't really take care of myself (nor do i ever feel the want to), so i'm very physically weak. sometimes i'm nice, but it's kind of offputting and comes off as jealous or clingy. i think of myself as having anxious attachment, but the one time i dated someone (i honestly don't know if i even liked them, i can't comprehend my emotions) i literally just avoided them like the plague. they grew their hair out and they listen to emo rock bands. the sad part was that they came back to me and we dated on and off for three years. we held hands ONCE. tbh i did actually find it endearing but i never showed or talked to them about that... likes: i don't know, every few months i change my entire personality and get obsessed with something. it's never really consistent, but some things i currently find myself enjoying are gacha games, having people compliment me, etc. whenever someone gives me an ounce of attention i go giggle about it and kick my legs for about two seconds before it wears off. this goes for both positive and negative attention dislikes: i don't know about dislikes either. i guess self-hatred goes here, i seriously can't think of anything. i don't really care for morally wrong things either. hobbies: just like everything else i change hobbies. rn it's working on a discord server. honestly i don't even think i'm redeemable atp i feel bad for anyone who gets paired with me

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchups!

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Aether’s a wonderful matchup for you. He’s an interesting balance of quiet and outgoing so he’s a bit eccentric himself.

Doesn’t like hearing you talk about how you don’t think you’re redeemable but he also understands that sometimes you feel things and those feelings are messy.

Instead of trying to get you to suppress those feelings and negative thoughts, he’ll do his best to help you realise that, even if you still believe those things, you also deserve to be happy. He cares about you and wouldn’t have it any other way.

He’ll also compliment you a lot, always a genuine statement about something he admires about you. He thinks you’re really cool and does his best to make sure you’re aware of that.

Aether’s a really good person to be around since you like change. He’s constantly travelling so things will never get stagnant and you get to see lots of new places.

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Wow, both male protagonists! You’re certainly lucky! I think Aether and Caelus are similar but different in some very distinct ways.

While Aether is a more gentle partner, Caelus is the type to pull you along with him, not giving you time to doubt yourself.

More than happy to help you take care of yourself. He knows it can be hard just existing sometimes so he wants to do what he can to help the person he cares about most.

Loves playing gacha games with you. He is responsible with his spending though so neither of you have to worry about getting carried away with trying to get certain characters.

Much like Aether, Caelus is constantly travelling, both around and between worlds. You’ll get the chance to see lots of new places and incorporate new things into your appearance and personality whenever you want.

[metaliberationarmyslut]

Hello kind person! Can I maybe request something of shiggy or whomever you want to write for possibly, when they realize they like you?

👉👈 thanks! ❤️

ABSOFREAKINLUTELY !!

Shigaraki falling for you

We all know this man isn’t going to show anything at first. Stubborn and denying any feeling of affection at all!

But deep down they’re very kind and protective over their loved ones

When falling for you he’d show signs more so showing annoyance

As being quite sarcastic towards you

Or acting as if he was ignoring you

But not because he means to be mean, it’s just your presence that makes him anxious

He may begin to start itching at times over the anxiety of these new feelings.

But, even if his ignorant behavior got to you, you hid it pretty well and kept being respectful towards him

When he’s around you, his mood would definitely change

He’d listen i at what you had to say, admired you when doing the simplest things and even asking for your opinion on new mission plans, before the others’

He’d love to have conversations about his favourite video games with you, without feeling rejected for something he loved doing

He’d start to become really protective over time

Like if he saw another member of the league looking at you longer than usual

So he’ll threaten to use some of his quirks to avoid them getting too close to you

And he’ll deny it when anyone in the league asks if he likes you. MOSTLY DABI

“Shigaraki, are you friends with. Y/n?”

“Yeah you could say that,…why?”

“Are you going to tell y/n that you like them?”

“What are you talking about? ”

“Don’t act dumb, it’s obvious Shig.”

“ I swear to god dabi I’ll hurt you if you say anything!”

At any chance he gets, he’ll try to impress you with his powers.

And will get angry if anyone tries to take you away from him

Or hurts you.

You’re probably one the only persons that sees theres some good deep down in him and who gave him the love he doesn’t think he deserves

He’s not letting go of you easily ( he never will, so have fun with this man)

won’t hesitate to show his dominance in front of others by kissing you

Will try and touch you like it’s nothing in front of others.

“Shig, not here”

“Why not?”

“Time and place for that, and now is NOT the time”

“Hmmph fine”

Outside of work/ the League, You’ll be his number one priority.

He’d do anything to keep you safe

When in fights, you’ll always be on his mind cause thinking of you gives him the motivation to keep fighting.

If you’re also in the fight, he’ll make sure you’re close by, and not let you out of his sight

you’re probably the only one who’s seen him have a complete break down

you’d be his peace. the one who’d help him forget about all his worries

Like telling you about what happened to his mother and sister how he missed them.

Or like,when Mon got decayed.

You were the first one he opened up to.

He told you about everything that had happened, and you reassured him it wasn’t his fault.

And Shiggy loves sleeping next to you

He wasn’t fond on any physical affection at first, but once he discovered how touch-starved he was he began craving to feel you close at all times

Which means that you get to sleep with your head on his chest, cuddled up with him.

Good luck ever getting out of his grip. ( your stuck all night long)

The first time he says he loves you… he’ll act like it’s not a big deal.

It’s a huge deal and you need to shower this man with kisses and hugs after this.

Assure him you love him too. He’s riddled with self doubt.

I’m getting too carried away with this. Hope you enjoyed it! ❤️

[incoherentsobbing]

Dandelions

Intentions... With "Dandelions" by Ruth B.

Ft. Ruggie Bucchi and my OC, Kyōki Kaitekina

Where Ruggie want's to take the one he's fallen in love with someplace special, despite his weak knees

"So...?" they played with the rings on their fingers nervously, he had requested them to meet him alone and they had to make Jack watch him since he was the only other one available on such short notice, but the feline-like monster managed to slip away and join them anyway

"Y-You'll see" he wound up stammering, trying to keep his heartrate steady but the way they just existed less than 6 feet from him made him lightheaded 

They had slapped on a beautiful pair of lace-trimmed shorts and an o-ring crop top they originally wore a hoodie on top but had to leave it with Grim so he wouldn't be so anxious (which was then later left with Jack as he escaped, the poor wolf), and a nice pair of grey combat boots to finish it off, their goddess braids black but shining in the light, the blue-green highlights being accentuated 

And let's not forget their scent, Seven, they gave off such a mesmerizing scent he could sit there and bask in it forever 

They quirked their brow when he flushed red again out of nowhere, slightly concerned, but didn't say a word

Eventually, after about another five minutes of seemingly random turns, the two reached a wide open field of dandelions. 

They took on the view of white, green, and yellow, and carefully picked a few up, starting up flower crowns 

"Galleta" They looked up at his nervously standing self with a smile "come here, this one's for you"

"F-F-F...????" He couldn't say anything, just stared at the ground near their feet

"Of course!" They laughed, gently grabbing his hand and dragging him down to sit, placing the flower crown on his head with a proud grin on their face "I've never made a flower crown before, so I'm really happy to get to try it! Though I've never even seen anyone make one either... I think it turned out well?"

He felt the lopsided but sturdy crown of bright yellow dandelions resting on his head, carefully avoiding his ears even though it looked like it was close to falling apart 

"Yeah..." He blushed red, though he found himself shifting slightly closer despite his whole nervous system telling him to run away or they'd devour him

But, hey, what's so bad in being devoured by someone this hot?

After a few more flower crowns, they made some more for Ruggie and Grim, saving a few strong looking ones for Ortho to keep marked and placed a little point on them so they'd remember to pick

"Y'know, this reminds me of that song" Grim commented, and Ruggie couldn't help the nasty feeling of jealousy that fizzled up inside of him each time he saw Grim in their laps or resting in their chest 

How does it feel to be living my dream, damned Raccoon? Tch... he'd always think, biting his lip

"Oh yeah!" They smiled, quickly fishing out their modified phone and scrolling through some audio files 

Not long after, a few high piano keys were struck, and his ears perked up, listening to it intently

But he could not prepare his heart for the next things to happen

They started to sing. It was very deep, coming from the gut, but easily took a higher pitch when they wanted

"Maybe it's the way you say my name" They began, picking up another few dandelions "Maybe it's the way you play your game"

Game...? He stared at their calloused hands and how with every twist, they improved on the flower jewelry they were making Who are they talking about?

"But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you"  even though their words were still a whisper, he heard every one, and grew increasingly nervous at who they could possible be directing this song at "But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you"

Grim purred happily and rubbed his head against their chest, one he would give almost anything to lay on comfortably while they pet him like they did Grim

"And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime" his breath hitched, mind running millions of miles a second when he heard the L word leave their lips, and the whimsical but attractive look they gave him from under their undeniably hot lashes "And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine"

They smiled, placing their completed and tremendously improved flower crown and necklace around him, leaning back on the ground slightly as they looked at the white tufts around them 

" 'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions, Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine" they nodded to the beat, their lower and deeper vocals mixing well with the singers higher and airy tones "And I see forever in your eyes, I feel okay when I see you smile, smile"

I... Are they talking... about me? He gaped, hands trembling as he watched them pick one up and blow it in the air after a subtle pause 

"Wishing on dandelions all of the time, Praying to God that one day you'll be mine" they all watched as the seeds followed the path of the breeze and Grim hopped off, chasing after them "Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time..."

They stood up, doing a little dance as they swayed, reminiscent of the tall grass and flowers, giggling to themselves as they turned to Ruggie, directing their lines to him

"I think that you are the one for me, 'Cause it gets so hard to breathe" they twirled, feet light but prominent as they moved "When you're looking at me, I've never felt so alive and free~ When you're looking at me, I've never felt so happy"

He stared, wide but loving eyes as they laughed at one of their missteps, holding their hand out to him as the song played lowly in the background

their next words made him feel like he was floating, in a blissful dream

"Ruggie...And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime Dance with me...And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine " They smiled cheekily, patiently waiting for a reaction from him

and it was as if the universe was pushing this all to happen, as the music suddenly became louder, and a whole flurry of dandelion seeds exploded from behind him, the breeze pushing them towards their outstretched hand

He'd be a fool to reject.

And on they went for that evening, slow dancing as Grim messed around with the flowers and insects 

It was then that he made up his mind fully; He was utterly in-love with them and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with them

[firsttarotreader]

He is so damn conflict avoidant, it sort of makes me sad. // oh I agree with this one, anon...

And now I wonder to Tarot Mami if you can read this on the card, how bad is P's "conflict avoidant" trait when it comes to his interaction with other people, or maybe in a romantic relationship?

Hello! First, I asked directly if he might really be someone who avoids conflict. The Major Arcana were The Lovers, The Hierophant and The Fool.

Well, The Lovers means he could want to always be in harmony with others, he wants to get along with everyone, union and partnership. The Hierophant shows us he wants to do the right thing, to be “above” all the conflict and act wise and correctly. That is because of The Fool. He might feel the need to keep all his possibilities open, all his potential, and he might avoid conflict to have all the doors open to him.

The Minor Arcana were the Ace of Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles reversed and 2 of Wands. Ace of Pentacles with The Lovers is again telling us he wants to keep the harmony with everyone so that he won’t lose any opportunity, so if he wants to do something, it has à higher chance of being successful. The Hierophant with 3 of Pentacles reversed means he wants to be the better person, the mediator, the one that can deal with the lack of harmony in a group or that tries to avoid it. The Fool with 2 of Wands reinforces the idea of keeping all the doors open for him, never being in bad terms with anyone because he wants to be able to do anything he plans to do in his life and career.

Then I asked more loosely, how much he avoids conflict, and the cards were the Page of Hedgehogs, 9 of Spears and 3 of Hedgehogs.

Page of Hedgehogs shows him trying to do his work, learn all the skills, make his projects happen, but still being a bit ineffective. 9 of Spears represents worries and anxiety and 3 of Hedgehogs the team work and being able to get along with others since you can’t do everything on your own. These cards make me think he tries really hard to stay on good terms with everyone and if he doesn’t, he might feel very anxious. He needs to be able to rely on his team, on his friends, on his people, and not be alone.

So basically, he avoids conflict because he wants to make sure he won’t lose any opportunity, and not doing so would bring him lots of anxiety.

[doveboycreature]

tumblr is such an awful website for people with like anxiety and ocd and stuff like that. you can't avoid posts that are targeted and angry at some specific group of people who are doing bad things to another group or are perceived as morally evil by someone or another. I mean a lot of it is legitimate grievances and things worth talking about and I'm not saying people shouldn't make posts talking about stuff that's important to them. I don't have a specific agenda here and I don't want to silence anyone talking about their own stuff on their own blog. idk I just wish I could just use this as a place hang out and not be anxious about anything. seeing any kind of discourse just eats at me. even seeing any broad implication that some type of person is bad makes me obsess over it for weeks until I can sort it out in my mind and be sure that that person isn't me.

I never really talk about this kind of thing because I feel like it's shameful and ridiculous in many ways, but I feel like for a long time I've been in a pattern of obsessing over real legitimate issues (and fake issues that I haven't found a way to dismiss) and using them to emotionally self harm. I can usually dismiss random thoughts about being useless or stupid because I know those things aren't true and I know that even if they were it wouldn't make me less worthy, but I can't dismiss the idea that I could be actually be a really selfish and horrible and maybe even bigoted person because that actually WOULD make me less worthy of other people's time and emotional connection and that IS something that's fully possible since most people do have beliefs and parts of themselves that they haven't confronted that are unempathetic and harmful to others. And if I dismiss the system I have for scanning my own personality for harmful beliefs and behaviors I risk actually hurting people. It feels like it's a morality autoimmune disorder or something.

[the1975attheirverybest]

I need your advice! So I will be attending the show at the EU in march. I ran a fanpage too. Last time I went to see the boys it went terribly for me. Because I had a lot of stress and till the very end I wasn't sure if I was coming, I had a fight with my mum literally right before the show. At the concert I was to distracted by the people around who were trying so socialize and I was too focused on recording. Also was watching way too many content my head was full I couldn't really enjoy it. I'm sorry for this long message. This time I want to make sure I do everything I can to make sure I will be able to fully enjoy it. Im thinking about reducing the amount of time I will watch all the content from tour, I want my head to be fresh, not overstimulated with all the video's but at the same time I do really really wanna watch them haha. So i have a problem. I don't know what to do I don't want to ruin it for myself again. I tend to care to much about keeping up and I am tired then

Hi babe. I remember you!! We talked about your show afterwards right? I’m so so glad you get to go this time omg 💗🥹🥹

Some of my friends who went with me deliberately didn’t watch anything. Like, they knew about Peanut / be my mistake on b-stage and stuff cuz it’s impossible not to see some stuff online, but they avoided as much information as possible on purpose. They didn’t even look at the setlist cuz they wanted to be surprised. Which worked out well for them I think!

On the other hand, I literally keep up with every little thing and watch TikTok’s as soon as they drop and if there is anything new that happens or if Matty gives a speech or says something different onstage, I analyze and discuss it to death on here HAHA. And I still felt blown away at the shows cuz nothing ever compares to like seeing them in the flesh. In person. With your own eyeballs.

You could like post something on your page and say that you’ll be on less frequently until after your show, if you really feel like limiting content? Maybe mute some pages that post frequent updates? For me, though, seeing the content too much isn’t a problem because it’s not about the freshness or novelty. Like I would literally go to the same show a million times if I could. It’s meaningful and brings me joy and I don’t mind knowing about it before going into the experience. It’s still gonna feel special and great no matter what. Otherwise, a year and a half into this tour, we wouldn’t all be here, right?

My advice would be that if you wanna change something, maybe try not to record as much? If you’re going with someone, especially if they’re coming with you as a friend or family member, maybe ask them to record for you? I put my phone away almost completely at the Baltimore show. Like I took maybe 3 pics at the very beginning when they walked out and that’s it. The entire show I was just focused on the stage and that helped a lot. I tend to be a socially anxious kind of person. I was worried about the shows that I went to by myself. But honestly everyone is so nice and kind. If you don’t wanna be spoken to, you can just not engage, and they’ll leave you alone. But if you’d like to make friends and stuff, you can talk to people. Especially during the opening act or in between the opener and the boys coming onstage. But I don’t think anyone would fault you if you didn’t want to socialize during the show. After all, you paid money to see the boys, not just hang out. Everyone is a big fan so they’ll understand!

I hope this makes sense. PLEASE COME BACK AND TELL US ALL ABOUT YOUR SHOW AFTERWARDS!

[echantedtoon]

I'm Blue Ch3 The Dreaded Meeting

(Ok. Now begins the present day chapters. Also Kudos if you spot the reference to a pal of mine's story.)

Today was a day anyone would like. The sun was warmly baring down upon the world making the outside world just the right warm temperature for anyone to run around and do things. Explains why so many people were walking around outside today with their children or pets. There wasn't any indication for any crime and certainly not in the nice shore town she lived in anyways. Now a days people just took their families to the near by beach to enjoy this perfect day for surfing, sand, and just anything and everything you could do there. The poor coast and life guards busy this time of day, but that rarely mattered to her. It's not like she could walk around on a beach showing her body anyways. Her stomach always did a flip at the very thought of showing anyone the mangled scars underneath. It was bad enough with what was already showing anyways making her all nervous all the time. It was very easy to avoid those things. She would've worn long sleeves to hide her burn scars but it was too hot to where any long sleeves or jackets. Sometimes she considered not being able to see peoples faces a blessing, but she still couldn't help but feel anxious over the thought that someone might be looking a her weirdly because of her scars or the obvious bandages around her eyes. But you got used to this sort of thing I guess when you were a blind person. You just learnt to make your own way around the world after a while. 

Vibrations were her way. Honestly she had no idea if her quirk was some kind of unholy reverse blessing or miracle curse. Because of it her parents painted a Mona Lisa over a scribble and hung her in a museum with high expectations demanding it stay RIGHT THERE in the best art gallery for people to one day fond over to make them proud. Until one day the golden paint came off and with it their expectations of any reward. But the paint had done more damage to the scribble underneath. What was once a nice and neat plain scribble was now a worn and damaged smudge from the paint they coated over it with missing pieces erased from it. But there was still some good qualities to the scribble that still earnt it a place of honor somewhere to be shown. But not in an art gallery. There was just enough left for it to be proudly hung on the fridge despite the paint damage. That was here. Put on high expectations and made to stay there until she couldn't anymore. Couldn't see. Couldn't fly. Could barely take care of herself. But could still get around enough to live 'normally' and work ironically thanks to her quirk which was the same thing that got her into this mess. She wished she never had it. She wish so SO much she was just born like everyone else in her family. Totally absolutely normal, ordinary, and not at all special like this. It would've saved her in the long run. She could've gone to a collage and experienced all the fun moments. Seen things. LOTS of things. Maybe she could've even met someone and gotten married.....Maybe even. Had a family of her own or something. With a nice house, good job, a loving husband, and a few adorable little kids- Something hard rammed into her shoulder as she walked. Thank goodness she didn't drop the bag in her hands but on instinct she turned her head to the person who bumped into her shoulder.

"HEY!! Watch where you're going?!," a man's voice shouted at her.

Making her press her antenna back, quickly apologize, and then quickly walk away again. There she goes off in her own thoughts again not paying attention. It was easy to do that when your blind and used to your own thoughts by then. But back to the present- She really needed to get these seeds back to her grandmother as soon as possible. The vibrations signaled others walking around, behind, and in front of her. A giant rumble of vibrations went by with the smell of gas, rush of wind, and roar of an engine meant a car went by every few seconds on the busy coast area. The beach was pretty popular this time of the year of even from here she could hear the faint screams of delight and from the children. The vibrations from the walking people all stopped ahead and her antenna twitched to the sounds of the sounds of a car creaking to a stop. Signaling there was the crosswalk she always walked across up ahead. So she slowed to a stop, someone bumping behind her making her uncomfortably push against the other people crowded at the crosswalk waiting to cross over to the next street, until they all started moving again and she walked across the road with the crowd. Soon escaping the tight nit crowd as they all dispersed. Which she was very happy for. She still continued to walk along as everything dark around her continued to shout out or feel the vibrations to help her determine what was where and at what distance. But it was life. Trotting along a little more, eventually the sweet smell of flowers and other herbal smells filled the air and that's how she knew she was close to it. Her home and the small shop close enough to the beach and hotels that it was common for tourists or others to stop by and get something, or if they just wanted to bye one of the many small plants or home made tea mixtures for sale inside. It was a-....ok business if you wanted just a quiet enough life but still wanted human interaction without the need to go out very often or meet anyone expectations for social gatherings. Not very much but it was at the same time more than enough for a fifty something year old woman and her granddaughter. The pale hand slowly came down to run along the small white picket fence that wrapped around the garden and was unsurprised when she felt herself come to a gate, which was quickly and expertly opened and closed without another thought. Like every other time she would go out and hurry back home. Up the small pathway in the small yard and up towards the door arm still extended feeling around to push it open.

DING!!

A small bell above the wooden door jingled when the young lady opened it. "Granny! I'm back with the seeds and plant food you asked for!," she called out as she shut the door behind her making the bell jingle again. 

"That's wonderful, Dear!," a slightly older woman's voice called from the back and a few shuffling noises came from there too, "Why don't you go put sit down and I'll be right over? These cacti do not want to settle down in their pots."

"Ok." Slowly she shuffled her way past a counter right next to the door complete with a cash register on top of it and started making her way towards the small couch her granny for some reason kept by the seed rack where she sold extra seeds or small desk side plants like small ferns or cacti (which were pretty popular with the tourist usually), and sat down with the bag still in her hands. The cushions hugging her body and antenna twitching to the sounds of shuffling objects and footsteps before those footsteps finally came back around towards her direction.

"AH! There you are. I was wondering where you went off too so early in the morning. It's not even ten o clock yet." The older woman started wiping her dirt covered hands against the old apron she was wearing and looked towards the younger one with a smile. 

She shrugged back with a nervous grin. "W-Well what can I say? The earlier I left the less traffic there'd be in the streets and stores. You know?" Actually it was because she couldn't stand crowds of people around her and wanted to get home as soon as possible but of course she wasn't going to tell her grandmother that. It'd make her sound like a crybaby.

"Mm hm. Well if that's the case then you wouldn't mind helping me out with another thing." She bent over to take the bag from the younger lady's hands and she didn't object to her grandmother doing so. 

"Of course!!" She smiled. It was probably moving some plants again or helping to clean up everywhere. "I'd love to!"

"Oh good because-"

DING!

She jumped when the door suddenly opened making the bell jingle and the two ladies turn their heads towards the door as another woman stuck her head in. Of course her grandmother smiled at the customer out of politeness. 

"Good evening stranger. What can I do for you?"

The black haired lady blinked before clearing her throat  and speaking. "I-I heard you sell tea here?"

Her grandmother smiled wider at her request with a nod. "Of course we do! Blue, Dear. I'll be right back after help this lady ok?" Blue nodded relaxing back into the comfy cushions on the couch as her grandmother smiled back and turned to the customer. "I'm afraid you caught me in a bit of organizing, but if you follow me to the back I can show you the mixtures we already have stocked up."

"That'd be wonderful. Thank you."

The two disappeared and left Blue sitting there relaxing on the couch listening to the usually questions and small talk her grandmother made and all that with what sounded like her putting away whatever she had Blue pick up. What kind of flavors do you like? Is there anything specific you're looking for? How was your day? Would you be interested in trying something new? Etc and etc. The usual round about until the lady picked out whatever it was she wanted and the two made the usually exchange of the money when buying with the small dings and metal sounds of the cash register. Her granny sending the lady off with a big smile handing over the small bag of items the lady bought.

"Have a nice day! Come back soon now!" She waved good bye at the woman as she left and sighed, turning back to the butterfly still sitting down but had her head tilted towards her as the door once again opened and closed behind the woman leaving. "*sigh* Well that was certainly a surprise."

Blue nodded. "Yes. But customers are good for business. How else would you have a business without customers?"

"That's true but we also need supplies to keep this up and running too. Which is why I wanted you to go out and get more supplies from the fish market."

"...WHAT?!" Her high level in volume didn't effect the older lady in the slightest as she still calmly started at the startled butterfly. "B-B-But I just got back! Through the morning rush!"

"I know. But this means you can go and get what we need before sundown, that way you wouldn't have to wait until tomorrow."

"B-B-But w-w-why now!?" She protested.

Her grandmother shrugged. "Because there's a few certain exotic plants that are being sold there from across seas, like corn. And because they always sell the good seaweed that I can replant and sell to that spa. Remember? The ones that do the seaweed wrap facials."

"Y-Yeah I know! But-....you know I don't like- I mean....I-I just went out!!"

She heard her grandmother sigh and knew she shook her head. "Oh Blue. Look, honey." Footsteps approuched and she felt the couch sink in next to her as the older woman sat down and a hand came down on her shoulder. Blue turning her head in her direction. "I know it's asking a lot, and I know you really don't like big crowds, but you got to understand that I'm not going to be around forever. You have to start getting used to these things now. You're just four years away from turning thirty. Like it or not You're going to have to get out there and learn how to socialize and do things on your own."

".....Wow. Way to make me feel so old already."

She chuckled. "Oh you won't know old until you're my age. But on a serious note, you really do have to start learning how to do things on your own. I'm not getting any younger, and neither are you. You're going to get older and it's going to get harder to get out there or even find someone to help you when you're my age and I'm gone. So you don't have to worry about needing help if anything were to happen to you. Or me if that comes to shove." Blue felt her antenna press against her head as her grandmother's hand can up to ruffle her hair. "Hey. Even if you don't ever need help or anything, it's for the better. You need to get out there more and stop being afraid. Alright?" .......With great reluctance, she nodded. And her grandmother smiled. "That's the Spirit! There's a market just a little ways by the dock, you can be done and back in thirty minutes or so. It'll be plenty for a small trip."

Yeah....A small trip. Surrounded by lots and LOTS of people shoving around her and staring at her while she'd be stumbling around like an idiot for everyone to see and see her failure marked all over her face. ........

What could possibly go wrong?

[snow-system-wol]

POV: You're a 17 year old Jacke, just trying to go about your business in Limsa Lominsa, and this is Not how you expected this day to go.

You'd seen plenty of kids who were in way over their heads before, of course. Thing is, they usually wisened up well before they hit double digits, figured out the best way to get by – and above all else, be subtle. Gods know it's for the best if no one actually notices you, else if anything unfortunate happens, the Yellowjackets are going to grab the nearest street rat and blame them. No, better not to be seen.

Which is why, for the life of you, you couldn't figure out what this boy was doing.

He was far too old to have survived Limsa Lominsa like this, so you knew he had to have washed up here recently. Hells, he looked to be your age, maybe slightly younger at most. You started tailing him through the markets a few minutes ago, his long pale hair and twitchy pink tail easy to keep track of in the crowds. He was… possibly putting a target on himself acting like this, if you're being honest – he kept glancing about with anxious paranoia that earned more than a few side-eyes, and yet had not actually noticed that you were following him. May as well put a sign on your back that says you're vulnerable and scared.

You thought to yourself – oh, he's gonna get himself killed.

It wasn't as if he lacked the capability to be stealthy, you don't think. He weaved between people effortlessly, almost entirely avoiding anyone touching him in the crowded markets (a feat in of itself), and he walked in such a way that you felt like his footsteps might be dead silent. He just looked a bit … distracted and exhausted.

You wondered where he was going, seeing as he had started to loop through the same section of the market instead of traveling elsewhere. You made a mental note that one of the Yellowjackets leaning under the arch had started keeping a closer and closer eye on him with each pass. The boy seemed like he was trying to work up the nerve for something, ears having long since gone flat against his head, and – oh no, he couldn't possibly be about to do what you're thinking.

Well, hunger makes fools of us all, doesn't it.

The boy – in full conspicuous sight of the merchant, several guards, and dozens of witnesses – grabbed some bread and bolted.

You were right – he is gonna get himself killed. Seems a shame, though, if no one ever showed him the ropes. There's promise there, you can see it – and you'd prefer to spare him from the dubious mercy of the law, if you get the chance.

He got a good head start. No one in the market was expecting him to take off so suddenly, and the yelling had only just started up in his wake. You immediately ran after him.

He was fast, you'd given him that much. He didn't know where he was going at all though, either, and was absolutely going to trap himself at the end of the market. You caught up to him and dragged him around a corner. It at least cut off line of sight, could buy you both a moment. He also bit you, because of course he did. You looked at his narrow pupils and were just grateful he didn't have Keeper fangs.

"Ow, fuck, I'm tryin' to get your arse out of this mess!" You whisper yell at him, very aware of the sound of someone loudly approaching. "C'mon, jump."

He looked at you as if you were the one being unreasonable, but you could see him rapidly assessing his opinion of you versus the guards. You sighed and vaulted over the rope, down to the lowest level of the city. He'd either follow you, or he wouldn't, but you weren't going to stay up there and put yourself in the Yellowjackets' crosshairs. You land on planks a solid distance below, the section of dock mostly hidden from above. The deep thunk of wood was surely covered up by the general din.

To your pleasant surprise, the miqo'te boy landed smoothly beside you a moment later. You quickly tugged him out of sight, into the web of pathways cutting through the fish market. He didn't bite you this time, which you were grateful for, even if he did somewhat violently pull himself free from your hands once you were solidly inside. Fair enough, most of us on the streets have earned these right to be a little twitchy over touch, and you both were basically safely out of danger anyway. Safer still, as you brought him into the "Convent" proper.

He looked a bit like he may panic, the second the door closed behind the two of you, but his priority quickly shifted back to the damn bread he still had clutched to his chest. He settled in the furthest corner he could, trying to balance eating as fast as humanly possible with glancing fearfully in your direction.

Aye, you could make some guesses – takes a pretty isolated upbringing to end up this distressed and clueless on survival at the same time. You wondered if you were like this too, when you'd been rescued and freed. You hardly remembered those first days, mostly just the gratitude you felt and the resolve that grew from it. It all felt like a very long time ago. Still, you turned out fine eventually, so he'd probably manage, right?

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself ⛸ in December 2022: Aries

2 Wands - 7 Swords - The Hermit

Regarding: 9 Cups

Story 1: At worst, you could be tempted to jump into some 3rd party situation and betray someone you are already committed to. The first row is saying your wish is deeply greedy, out for yourself, a manipulative trickster. You plan to jump into some new opportunity that will cause a lot of conflict, and be seen as cruel, vindictive & hurtful. Purposely being sneaky because you know this will cause pain, and betrayal, but that’s not stopping you.

Story 2: This would be more of a more in-depth explanation of the former gift reading, in that you don’t have any money. The way that you’re expressing this is very avoidant, dodging, sneaky in behavior but not intent. Not exactly. You don’t want to be held accountable because your pride is on the line, though others may feel betrayed by you not showing up to celebrate, not calling, not letting anyone know what is going on. They may be thinking the worst of you when that is not actually the case, but you’re not exactly helping either.

The advice is The Hermit to anything new, celebrations with friends, reuniting with people, whether family you’re afraid will have some ignorant shit to say, or someone on the side you know will cause problems. 10 Cups & King of Cups is one person in particular, the vibe is this is the person you should be doing this for, this is who makes you happy. Could be a Cancer with the crab 🦀 charm here. If there’s maybe one family member that would be especially hurt, do something with just them, let them in. If it’s your person, you can’t get better than 10 Cups so WYD? With love 💗

Animal Oracle: Snow Leopard 🐆

“Take some time out of your usual life and spend it in solitude.”

It can be difficult to spend time in solitude these days, to unplug from electronics and get into nature, or off by yourself, if only for a few hours. Although you may feel anxious or restless when you first do this, you’ll relax. Use this time for contemplation and meditation, it’s not isolation, it’s solitude. If possible, take a full day off to yourself, and do whatever you want to do. Enjoy the feeling of sacred space around you in solitude, and know you’re never alone.

Artist Oracle: ALIGHIERO BOETTI

- Know who you aren’t.

- Find clarity in clutter.

- There’s more than one way to read a map.

Advice:

- Knowledge is Power

- Attend a Yoga Class

Charms:

Peace ☮️ on Alighiero, specifically “know who you aren’t”, shows you know better than whatever you’re doing or however you’re acting. You’re aiming for peace, not more problems, and The Hermit is saying you really need to take time away from everything else to get down to the thick of it and ask yourself what you really want, and how it will change things.

Star of Fame 🌟 on 10 Cups is the attention you’re needing to give a specific person, could be family, could be your person, they’re the most important person in your life and deserve to be the star of the show. It wouldn’t be here if you didn’t feel that way, this would be a reading telling you it’s time to go. It’s not, it’s saying you’re acting out of character & need to be reminded what really matters to you 🙏

Crab 🦀 on King of Cups could just blatantly be a Cancer. Both have a hard outer shell that serves as protection for soft & squishy insides, and all of the emotions they have. This is an emotionally mature person, and the depth of their love runs deeper than most people, though they may not always know how to show their emotions openly, you can be certain they’re there, all of the time. Next to 10 Cups, this is a happy fairy tale ending, peak happiness. Maybe you felt this way before temptation threw you off track, it happens, but so far it’s not too far gone. It can also be a family member that loves you very much and would be hurt if you just blew them off & didn’t involve them in what’s going on. Up to you.

Fleur de Lis ⚜️ on Knowledge is Power is another blatant message that you know better than this, you’re smarter than how you’re behaving or acting in this situation. This charm is one of dignity, power, grace and acting with noble intent, showing this may be your actual reputation on a larger scale, who you are on a daily basis, something you don’t want to just throw away. Think more before you act.