#if you can understand me we are the stuff of the cosmos

[merrysithmas]

no, i cant spell. NO i wont try

[death-rebirth-senshi]

Crazy to me that people want to cast sorceries in Elden Ring without the staff. You simply do not have a wizard's temperament.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: The Mysteries

Bill Watterson: what ho, mortals Watterson: it is i the hermit bill watterson Watterson: i have lived up in my cave on the mountain for nigh on 30 years Watterson: in silent contemplation of the mysteries of the cosmos Watterson: but now i descend to walk amongst you Watterson: to speak of the revelations delivered unto me Watterson: thus spake watterson!

Stephen King: oh my god! bill watterson! Watterson: yes King: i'm a real big fan of calvin and hobbes you know Watterson: thank you King: i've got so many bumper stickers of calvin peeing on things i don't like! Watterson:

Watterson: listen, people! i bear important news- Koontz: i have a question! Koontz: is the transmogrifier real? Frank Belknap Long: god i wish the transmogrifier was real 

King: i love the spaceman spiff strips haha so good Poe: i prefer the tracer bullet arcs, funny stuff Barker: hey did you draw frazz? c'mon you can tell us, we're cool Watterson: see this is why i don't come down here much

Bill Watterson: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the mysteries Watterson: ok so follow me here Watterson: what if it turned out that man was just an insignificant speck in an unfathomably vast and hostile universe HP Lovecraft: i know the answer to that one

Watterson: so i realized, in my years of meditation, that man is a meaningless blip in the vast nothing of space King: Poe: Koontz: Barker: Lovecraft: Barker: hahaha Poe: clive Barker: did you just rediscover cosmic horror from first principles?

Watterson: what if there were things in the universe that we didn't understand? King: Poe: Koontz: Barker: Lovecraft: King: is there more? Watterson: no that's it

Watterson: see, the thing is Watterson: mysteries exist Watterson: what are mysteries? we just don't know Watterson: i'll leave it to your imagination to fill in the rest Watterson: you know, like the noodle incident Watterson: anyway i'll see you all again in another 30 years

Barker: ya know i was always more of a far side fan anyway King: i always liked garfield, ya know garfield? King: like eating lasagna, hating mondays King: classic strip, classic! Frank Belknap Long: i liked ozy and millie Barker: wow frank big surprise 

[lanymme]

Lone Trail needs the segment with The Preserver. It’s load-bearing.

The stuff he brings up is central to the themes of this event, to understanding Control’s Wishes, the thing so core to this story that it, not the event title, gives the event stages their names.

Arknights is, ultimately, about tapping into the heart of our world’s struggles, but also its art, and weaving emotional narratives out of it that reflect the human condition.

To me, the piece of art central to this event is this image.

This is The Pale Blue Dot. The image of Earth from six billion kilometers away, taken by Voyager 1, whose launch sequence can be heard in Kristen’s theme, Control’s Wishes, played during CW-10.

Can you see Earth? That tiny speck, in the last band on the right?

This image was meant to show the vulnerability, the preciousness of earth—how alone we are, traveling through the vastness of the universe.

When we look at space, at the cosmos, we think about our place in it. We reconsider our sense of scale, of time, and realize how small we are. What a miracle we are.

This kind of reflection, this reframing of the mundane world we have become accustomed to into its greater context, this asking of the bigger questions—who are we, why are we here, what is this planet we live on, when will its time run out, why must we fight each other, is there anyone else out there—these are just as much a part of breaching the atmosphere as rockets and countdowns and scientists.

Control’s Wish wasn’t just to design a rocket that could pierce the false sky. It was to show all of humanity that it could be pierced, and that something lies beyond. To raise questions, and become the foundation of new thoughts, new journeys.

Carl Sagan, famously, said it best.

[togglesbloggle]

🔥The ice giants

Oh, this one's tricky. Do people have strong enough feelings about the ice giants for opinions about them to be unpopular? Even NASA doesn't care enough about them to send a spacecraft more than once in a blue moon. I think I'll try to weasel out of this one with the opinion 'all planets are interesting, even Neptune,' on the grounds that uninterestingness is itself the dominant opinion.

The midcentury explorations of the solar system were, in retrospect, kind of crushing for the human imagination. We went from totally unbounded speculations about the diversity of worlds- imagining robust ecosystems on Venus and Mars as late as the 50s and early 60s- to a series of photographs showing cratered, dead, atmosphere-less worlds. And 'realism' became accepting these photographs, building a story of the cosmos that is not just sterile but quite simple, treating the solar system as conforming closely to low-complexity models of planetary formation. Gravity collects micrometeorites and gas particles in planetoids and moons according to the ratios predicted by temperature and distance from the center of the accretion disk; terrestrial worlds close in, gas giants further out, ice giants further still. The planets sort themselves by density, with interior deformation or sortition based on thermal gradients, radioactive decay, magnetic forces; moons find a stable orbit or don't, and that's that.

But the thing is, once you actually get past that superficial Voyager flyby-photograph, these worlds all tend to have dramatic and exciting particularities of their own. Look at Pluto! Look at Titan! Look at Enceladus! Look at Ceres! Probably the most boring and well-studied planet I can think of is Mercury, and even that has cool stuff like solid ice at the surface.

Part of this is just noticing over time that the interface between planets and space (that is, their surface) is not always or even usually the most interesting part of them, and assumptions to the contrary are an understandable but misleading form of Earth-chauvinism.

And a larger share of it, I think, is just that once you get something substantially larger than an asteroid, the combined influence of so much volume, so much mass, and so much time just tends to amplify the variance of your system incredibly far beyond what you'd expect from your 'terrestrial, gas giant, ice giant' template. The model is actionably useful, don't get me wrong, and worlds rarely vary so much that they outright break their category. But nothing the size of a moon or planet is actually simple, and nothing on the scale of four billion years is actually stable. And so each of these things, no matter how straightforward the template, will gradually tilt and totter its way within an unfathomably large space of possibilities to something that is practically speaking unique, and which reveals something new about the cosmos that you can't find anywhere else.

If the ice giants seem simple, it's a reflection of our methods and our technological limits, not the planets themselves. We are, generally speaking, absolutely terrible about investigating gaseous worlds on their own terms- and maybe we simply don't have the right tools or the right questions yet to figure out what makes Neptune and Uranus special. But it's only a matter of time.

[inconmess]

A teeny tiny snippet from, which I may post if I have the time to actually flesh it out.

"Madam Glask, I must apologise but I am afraid that Oscar won't be able to come in to work today as I need him to help around the shop for a while."

"Oh, do you want me to come down to help you? You didn't have to come down yourself to tell me this. You could've just used a runner."

"Oh, no no, I just need Oscar. It is some heavy work and other stuff. I know it is a busy day for you today, Oscar mentioned so... And it has been a while since we met, Madam Glask." Cosmo stared at her calmly as he took a sip of his tea.

"You know..." Glask narrowed her eyes. "Do you need his help or is he injured? Because you won't be sitting here if you need his help. You don't trust him to run the shop by himself."

"He is more than capable of running the shop by himself" Cosmo's lips quirked up a little.

"Cosmo..."

"He's fine... He's fine..." Cosmo slowly nodded.

Some time ago

"Cosmo, you cannot put me on bedrest! Madam Glask is expecting me today! It is a busy day!"

"You should've thought of that before you got yourself killed again, boy. You are grounded until you are better."

"I am better! And you can't ground me! I am your father!"

"Oscar..." Cosmo began slowly. "For my peace, please take care of yourself. Just because you can't die doesn't mean that the body doesn't take strain. You can't keep pushing like this."

"Alright... Alright. I'll stay. Come closer, will you?"

Cosmo slowly wheeled back towards Oscar and slowly caressed the latest scar. "Just because I know for a fact that you can't die doesn't mean that it won't hurt when I get the news of some form of your death. You always loved saying that you are a burden to me but you are not. You being by my side is the greatest gift I can ask for because I need you just like you need me. I know you are tired. I am too. I also want answers that you want to figure out whatever is going on. Don't be so eager to leave me, dad."

Oscar's eyes softened as he beckoned him closer. "I am not eager to leave you, son," he placed a kiss on his forehead before taking hold of his hand. "But sometimes, death just finds its way to get it's hands on me. Can't completely avoid helping people, can I? And can't I wish that my son can have a life that doesn't revolve around me and my problems?"

"And can't this son wish that his father doesn't put himself down so much and understand that this son is happy with his life as it is?"

The two of them let out a wet chuckle before Cosmo pulled back. "I will talk to Madam Glask. You take rest, dad."

[monstersinthecosmos]

listening to your marius playlist without paying attention to the lyrics is a fabulous experience, because marius made up of tunes instead of words for once is incredibly sexy

yes!! YES!!!! You get me!!!!!!!!!

idk if it's because I'm nerdy about music or grew up listening to incoherent screamy metal & like, Rammstein, who I couldn't understand, but vocals to me are just like another instrument, and if the lyrics fit that's cool and all but it's not a priority to me. I also tend to gravitate towards like dreamy proggy folky black metally stuff that's so invested in talking about mysticism and the cosmos and the bleak dark winter that like, the lyrics are often so amorphous anyway! Like I can't make a character fit into a random song about breaking up with your girlfriend but I can make Opeth lyrics about anyone :)

Caked in the soil beneath Fear me when we meet Turn away in admiration My firm grip round the nucleus of joy

😏 anyway hjsdkglasd yes

Criteria for Marius Playlist

Brooding ancient noises that give us God of the Grove PTSD

Angst that feels so bone-deep and existential that my chest hurts

Patient slow melodies that sound like we're mourning

Nice long proggy songs that you can really sit with

Am I more frightened or more sad idk

Does it evoke the Sinister Eroticism?

Does it remind me of an eternity of nights?

Is it about glittery blackness and bleak cold winters?

But also hot fires and warm beds? The color red?

Can it be arguably timeless if we do not nerd out hard enough on neofolk & black metal trends in the last 30 years? Does it transcend time the way classical music does, even if it's still in its early life?

marius hot ?

is it a fuckin vibe?

-- Marius-Appropriate lyrics are a bonus but not necessary.

[poimandresnous]

Demiurgy and How a Confucian Passion for Learning Can be Considered As Such.

What is Demiurgy? As the author of Egyptian Mystic Polytheism so succinctly puts it:

Demiurgy is a type of “devotional act.” A devotional act is any activity outside of direct prayer with a religious purpose and significance. What makes “demiurgy” unique as a type of devotionalism is that it is principally concerned with the act of creation. Like theurgy, to mimic the gods and pursue likeness, one must participate in creativity as a lesser version of God’s creation. Producing, crafting, constructing, and creating are all acts that mimic the “Demiurge” or “Creator Deity.”

So, essentially, these are mundane activities that are performed with the intention to ritualize and devote said craft to the Demiurge, the Creator god of the Cosmos. As the quote above mentions, this is similar to theurgy in that these mundane activities help us mimic the Creator.

With that out of the way, lets take a look at Corpus Hermeticum XI.22, which I think supports such ritualized "demiurgy:

Mind is seen in the act of understanding, God in that act of making.

This sentence refers to God’s literal creation of All Things and how He is seen through His creation, as this whole preceding paragraph refutes the idea that God is entirely invisible and “unseen.” For context, here is the passage:

In Corpus Hermeticum V, we are told God is invisible and entirely visible. For us to understand God, we must become like Him (Corpus Hermeticum XI.20), as so much as that is possible, in each of our Fated predispositions. A way to do so is to create things ourselves through begetting, making music, writing, or exercising, i.e., our own Demiurgy. You can find a list here if the reader wants a more comprehensive list of things that can be considered a devotional act to the Demiurge -- Demiurgy. So essentially, if God is seen in His Creation, we too can see the Demiurge manifests itself via our lesser creations.

Also, possibly a Confucian passion for learning could be considered Demiurgy. Let me explain: To take this principle out of context and apply it to Hermetic thought, I'd like to talk about the Confucian disciple Yan Hui 顏回, who was unmatched in his genuine and effortless love of the Way and learning. In the Analects 6.3 we see a ruler inquiring to Confucius about a "disciple who loves learning":

There was one named Yan Hui who loved learning. He never misdirected his anger and never repeated a mistake twice. Unfortunately, he was fated to live a short life. Since he passed away, I have heard of no one who really loves learning.

Yan Hui is also praised for his love of learning in Analects 2.9 and 5.9. Generally speaking, in Confucian thought, learning, rites, and conforming to cultural adornments 文 do indeed change our native “stuff” 質, which Confucius thought contained inherent flaws that were corrected via rigorously conforming, yet also effortlessly loving social and cultural arts, rites and learning. So, if learning in and of itself can change us for the better; correct our inherent flaws, and make us more like God, then we should all try to emulate Yan Hui and his effortless love for learning because when we learn, we grow. According to Chapter 2 of Effortless Action: Wu-Wei as a Metaphorical Concept and Spiritual Ideal in Early China by Edward Slingerland, learning and instructions (and other things) are essential to constantly strive for and put effort into to abide by the Confucian Way. Learning and instruction change our inherent "stuffs" in a way that makes us effortlessly abide in the Way 道.

So, back to the Hermetica. In Corpus Hermeticum XI.20, we are told to:

“Make yourself grow to immeasurable immensity…”

Arguably, this can be done by a passion for learning (and, of course, many other things)— which cannot be taught but must be realized. And what do we see all throughout the Hermetica? A yearn for Gnosis. Gnosis differs from conventional knowledge, as gnosis is experienced rather than learned. Something that Edward Slingerland argues is the source of Confucius's frustration with the current age of the Zhou Dynasty in Analects 15.13:

I should just give up. I have yet to meet a person who loves ren 仁 as much as he loves the pleasures of the flesh.

Confucius is frustrated by the fact that you genuinely cannot teach a person ren 仁 or "humaneness." Whether we are talking about ren or gnosis (mind you, two completely different things), these things must be experienced and "recollected," as Edward Slingerland argues in Chapter 2. The idea that the gnosis of the gods, God, and the Demiurge is "recalled" is found in passages from Plato's Phaedo 73c-75e and other dialogues I have yet to read, such as the Phaedrus and Meno. Likewise, in Analects 7.30, Confucius exclaims:

Is ren really so far away? No sooner do I desire ren than it is here.

Recollection is also found in the Corpus Hermeticum IV.2:

The man became a spectator of God's work. He looked at it in astonishment and recognized its Maker.

Now that we have established that the Analects, Platonism, and Hermeticism are structured somewhat similarly, let's look at Corpus Hermeticum I.31, we read:

“Holy is God, who wishes to be known and is known by his own people…” Corpus Hermeticum I.32: “Grant my request not to fail in the knowledge (gnosis) that befits our essence.

This suggests that God wishes us to know Him as much as possible according to our inherent predispositions to gnosis. So what I’m getting at is that if we can realize and acquire a Confucian-style passion, such as Yan Hui, for learning, this can change us and make us become more like God. The love for learning. The yearning to know God and His creation and the sciences that we have developed to understand his creation is most certainly Demiurgy. We never stop learning, whether we continue education after high school or not.

So, now that we have established that learning can indeed change us and help us mimic and help us recognize God and the Demiurge's creation, here are some examples of how I use my love for learning (but this love cannot be compared to Yan Hui's) as Demiurgy:

Reading academic literature on my beliefs

Learning the mythologies of the Ancient Egyptian gods

Going to college to broaden my knowledge and to establish a career.

Learning about myself: both my corporeality (psychology/body/health) and my incorporeality (soul).

This list goes on and is certainly not limited to those few bullet points. But if it is not clear by now, learning helps us grow as individuals; learning allows us to better understand the world around us, from our own communities to other cultures around the world. Such a whole-hearted pursuit of learning can be considered Demiurgy because we are actively creating a better version of ourselves. Just as in my musings, I consider Demiurgy because I am creating writings that will go on to inform and help other people understand the topics I write about with an intention of devotion to the Demiurge. My active pursuit of learning also is Demiurgy because everything I learn is done in devotion to the Creator of a world I love so much, and He is ultimately responsible for the very things I choose to learn.

So, do you all think the yearn and love for learning in and of itself can be considered Demiurgy?

[aloneinthehellfire]

Chapter 6: A Yellow Whistle

Season One | Season Two | Season Three

[Raining Hellfire: Season Three]

Word Count: 2900 words

Warnings: swearing, mentions of struggle/attacks, mentions of blood, visions, ideas of possession, billy just creeping me tf out in this episode

[A/N: Probably the creepiest chapter I wrote. But, like, Elmax>>>]

A Yellow Whistle

That night, Max and El had ran to you, frantically talking over eachother with an explanation as to the game they had been playing. El’s power allowed her to find people through something the boys would call ‘Shadow Walk’ and they had decided to sneakily see what other people were doing that night. It was all fun and games until they tried it on Billy. The look on El’s face was what had scared you the most.

As the morning came, you joined them in finding out what was really happening to Billy. Hopefully, you’d find Heather too.

“It’s gonna start pouring soon.” Max said, the thunder rumbling above your heads as you walked towards the Mayfield house. “We should be at the mall or, like, watching a movie or something.”

“Look, I’ll drive you to the mall later if you want.” You assure, “But first, I need to know if Billy is okay.”

“You don’t believe me?” El frowned, staring at Max.

“I believe you saw some super weird stuff, totally,” Max nodded, “But… you said Mike has sensed you in there before, right?”

El stays silent but the frown on her face let you know all you needed to. She was spooked.

“So maybe it was just like that.” Max continued, trying to rationalise, “Maybe Billy just… sensed you somehow.”

You shake your head, trying to make sense of it all.

“But the screams.” El stated and Max whipped her head back with a sigh.

“Yeah, I know, but here’s the thing.” Max took a breath and you immediately knew what she was going to say. “When Billy is alone with a girl…”

“Okay, no.” You interrupt, twisting your face.

“But she needs to know!” Max stated even though she wore a disgusted look on her face. “When he’s alone with a girl, they make, like, really crazy noises.”

“They scream?” El looked concerned and you sigh, defeated.

“Not in a bad way.” You reluctantly say, “I… You’ll understand more when you get older. Or at least let us discuss this some other time.”

“I’m just gonna lend you my mom’s Cosmo.” Max decides and you thank her for it. She grimaces at you, “Sorry.”

“Nope, it wouldn’t be a family gathering if it wasn’t awkward.” You share as soon as you end up facing the house.

Max frowns, “His car isn’t here.”

You look down to see El staring at the house as if it held some kind of monster.

“You don’t have to go in.” You say, a hand on her shoulder. “Max and I can have a look around.”

Max nods, noticing her friend’s expression.

“No. I’ll come.” She finalises and you all make your way into the house.

It was kind of surreal, the fact that you were in the Mayfield house and yet you didn’t live there. You shared the same last name but only one resident of this household was your family. When you had found out you were adopted, you didn’t imagine to feel relieved. Hopper still didn’t have any luck finding your biological parents for you, it was almost as if they never existed. You had told Max about everything but it never changed anything between you; she was still your sister.

Max led you both to Billy’s room, slowly opening the door after knocking multiple times.

“Why do I get the feeling we’re gonna find all kinds of wrong in here?” Max wonders out loud and you practically shudder as you enter the room. It may be a new house, but his room still looked the same.

“Because it’s Billy.” You reply, head turning to the stereo still releasing music.

Max looks around and decides to head to the bedside table, pulling open the drawer.

“Ugh!” She groans, shutting it almost immediately, “Gag me with a spoon.”

“Turns out you were right?” You offered and she grimaced.

“Nothing really seems… off.” You say, looking around, “I mean, it’s pretty much a guy’s room from what I can see.”

“Check the bathroom.” Max suggested and you walked over, fumbling around for a light switch.

As soon as the room was brought out of the dark, your eyes focused on the puddle of water just outside the bathtub. You walk over, careful to avoid the pools of water, and slide back the curtain. There were empty packets of ice floating in the water of the tub.

You freeze.

El joins you, staring down. “Max?”

Max picks up a packet. “Ice. It’s just ice. It’s probably for his muscles or something. He works out like a maniac.”

“I don’t know.” You breathe, looking at your sister. “He has access to that at the pool, why would he do it here? In a house he hates?”

She furrows her brows, staring at the bath. “Then what do you think he’s doing?”

“Trying to stay cold.” You say with a sudden realisation, the memory playing out in your mind.

“He likes it cold.” Joyce finally speaks.

“What?” Hopper asks what’s on everyone’s mind.

“It’s what Will kept saying to me.” Joyce shares, “He likes it cold.”

“What if…” You start until El gasps from behind you. You turn around to see her fixated on the sink.

Following her gaze, you notice drops of red just underneath the handle of a cabinet and your breath hitches. You crouch down, opening the doors. Grabbing the bin, you root through until you come across something that stops your heart.

“Y/n, what is it?” Max asks but you just stand there, frozen.

El comes up to you, looking into the bin. She glances at you first before pulling out the object, holding it out to Max.

“Is that… blood?” Max asks, eyes wide. “Maybe Billy got into a fight and his whistle…”

“It’s not his whistle.” You finally say, staring at the object in El’s hand.

Heather leant close to you, lowering her voice to a whisper. “I saw his car this morning. I had to run back to get my whistle just as he was pulling up.”

She held out her whistle with a small smile. It was her own idea when she started working at the pool; Each of you had different colours, supposedly so no one stole anybody else’s if they lost their own. Heather’s was yellow, a colour she had instantly grabbed when she saw it on the table. It suited her.

You stared at the sunny yellow whistle, eyes stinging. “It’s Heather’s.”

You drove the girls down to the pool, barely speaking as the rain hit hard against your windscreen.

The storm was a surprise to everyone, an unnatural appearance this time of year. You thought it was ironic, an attempt at pathetic fallacy.

Dressed in rain coats, you all ran inside the pool, heading to the front desk and leaving a trail of puddles behind you.

“Excuse me.” Max leant forward to your colleagues as you pulled out Heather’s lost lifeguard bag.

“No one in the water until 30 minutes after the last strike.” Your manager said, too focused on his paper to care. “And don’t try to argue with me. You wanna get electrocuted, go climb a tree.”

“Yeah, we don’t care. We’re not here to swim.” Max shook her head, “Or get electrocuted.”

“We found this.” El said after taking the bag from you, showing it to your boss.

“Oh yeah, that’s Heather’s.” He nodded, “I’ll get it back to her.”

“We could give it back to her.” El insisted.

“You could.” He said, “Except she’s not here. Bailed on me today. Kind of like another worker of mine, Y/n.”

“I’m not even supposed to be working.” You push between the girls, staring down at your manager as wet hair clung to your face.

“Oh, look. She finally shows.”

You bite back your tongue, ignoring the new female employee sat next to him.

“You have her address?” You shake your head when he just stares at you. “Heather.”

“Why would I know that?”

You sigh in frustration as El pulls on your coat, pointing to the board behind her.

“Thanks for nothing.”

You walk away, heading to the community pool board. It held photos of each employee with your names written underneath. Heather’s photo was taken just before yours, her smile bright as she poses in front of the pool, the familiar whistle hung around her neck.

“Heather.” Max repeated and you nodded. She looked to El, “Do you think you can find her?”

“Let’s hope so.” You rip down the photo, your manager too busy flirting to notice, and lead them to the showers for some background noise.

Max turned on all the showers as you sat with El, blacking out a pair of goggles.

“I just need to know where she is, okay?” Your voice was soft as she studied the photo, “You don’t need to get close.”

“I can do it.” She assures you and you help her fix the googles on while Max sits on the floor next to you.

“I know you can.” You sigh as you pull down the goggles to cover her eyes.

El sits in silence for a moment, a sigh leaving her lips to alert you that she was ready.

“What’s in front of you?” You ask, holding her hand.

“A letter box.” She says, “One. Four. Three. Eight.”

You mentally take down the number, already figuring out the route.

“What do you see?” Max asks after a while.

“A door.” El replies and you squeeze her hand. “A red door.”

You close your eyes, trying to imagine it. Hopefully you had passed it on the street.

As you held El’s hand, you could visualise it, the red door in front of you. There was nothing else around it, just pitch black.

And then you saw El in front of you, approaching the door. You snapped your eyes open.

Max looked to you with furrowed brows and you shook your head. You couldn’t say anything to distract El. It was too important.

help me

The voice echoed and you turned around, Max focused on El to notice your sudden action. Goosebumps attacked your skin as El’s grip on your hand tightens. It sounded like Heather.

El suddenly gasps, throwing the goggles off of her and grasping your hand for support. You wiped the hair out of her face.

“What happened?” Max searched her face, worried. “El!”

El pants and you cup her face. “El, look at me. You’re okay.”

She calms down a little, teary eyed. “She…”

“What?” You choked out, not ready to hear the worst.

“She drowned.”

“Is this it?” Max asks as El stares out of the window to the house.

She nods and that’s all you need to get out of the car and run to the door, the rain soaking through your hair.

You try the door, but it’s locked.

“Okay, we’re gonna have to-” Your plan came to a stop when the door swung open, El’s nose running red. “Or we could do that.”

You all cautiously enter the house, the faint noise of string music echoing. The hallway is decorated with family photos, one of Heather and her parents. This was definitely the right place.

“Where is she?” You wonder just as a loud laugh sounded from the other side of the house.

You all glance at eachother before following the sound.

“He’s so funny.” A woman laughed just as you came around the corner, freezing at the sight.

Billy was sat at the table with the parents from the photograph, enjoying dinner. To anyone else, it was a normal sight, a happy one in fact. But your gut was telling you otherwise.

“Y/n.” Billy announces, shifting his gaze to the girl next to you. “Max.”

“We didn’t mean to… barge in.” Max tries, looking to you with a panicked expression. You shake your head, just as confused.

“We tried to knock but the storm was pretty loud.” You lie, eyes never leaving Billy’s.

“I’m sorry,” The man at the end of the table spoke, “who are these girls dripping all over my living room right now?”

Billy chuckles, setting his cutlery down, “I’m sorry. Janet, Tom, this… is my sister, Maxine.”

Max’s face drops and you could almost hear her heart stop. You frown. He never admitted that.

“And…” Billy gets up from the table, walking over to you. “This is Y/n. My childhood friend.”

You just stare at him as he closes the distance, a smile on his lips.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, “Is something wrong?”

“We just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” Max spoke when you didn’t.

“Okay?” He glances down to Max before looking back at you, “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

It felt like he was testing you.

“Where is she?” El spoke and Billy tore his eyes away from yours.

“I’m sorry,” Billy looked down at the girl, something unrecognisable in his eyes, “Where is who?”

“Heather.” You say, glancing at her parents sat by the table.

Just as Billy opens his mouth, someone emerges from another room, carrying a tray.

“Well, they’re a little burnt, I’m sorry-” Heather stops when she sees you stood there.

“Heather!” Billy exclaims, “This is my sister, Maxine. You know Y/n. And…”

He looks at El, “I’m sorry, I did not quite catch your name.”

“El.” She states.

“El.” He repeats and it sends a chill down your spine. You watch as his body shifts, hands brought forward to clasp together. Goosebumps trail along your skin as your eyes widened. His voice…

“Heather?” You tear your eyes away and look to your friend, “You… you weren’t at work today, we were worried.”

“Heather wasn’t feeling so hot today, so we thought we’d take the day off to nurse her back to health.” Billy answers for her, Heather stood mindlessly smiling. “But you’re feeling just fine right now, aren’t you, Heather?”

“I’m feeling so much better.” She confirms. But you don’t buy it. You don’t buy any of it. “Do you girls want a cookie? They’re fresh out of the oven.”

There was one thing you knew about Heather. One undeniable thing that anyone close to her would know; she hated cooking. In fact, she hated how messy it was. It’s why she invented the colour code system for whistles at the pool; she needed order.

“No, thank you.” Max politely declines, looking at Billy, “We should be heading home, right El?”

El looks reluctant but Max’s frantic nodding persuades her. “Yes.”

“Well, we should get back to this lovely meal!” Billy smiles at the mother who laughs, raising her glass.

Max and El quickly make their way to the door, but you can’t leave. Not until you know for sure.

“Did you need something else, Y/n?” Billy asks and you tighten your lips. That’s when an idea strikes your mind.

“Actually…” You root through your pocket, grabbing onto the familiar object, “I just wanted to return this. For when you feel well enough to come back to work.”

You walk passed Billy and to Heather, holding out a whistle. “I believe this is yours.”

Heather stares at your hand for a moment before setting down the cookies, plucking the whistle from your hand.

“Thank you for returning this to me.” She smiles and you purse your lips, nodding.

“Of course.”

You watch as Heather sets down the whistle on the table, sliding into her seat.

You walk away, knowing that ‘Heather’ had just taken your red whistle as her own.

“Could you walk me to the door?” You ask Billy, smiling back at the table, “I wanted to get his opinion on a few things, if you don’t mind. So sorry for interrupting.”

“Take your time.” Heather’s father permits and Billy smiles.

“I’ll be right back.” He announces, holding his hand out as a gesture of guidance for you to exit the room.

When you reach the door, he opens it for you with a small smile and not his usual boyish smirk. But before you step out, you spin to face him.

“Who are you?” You ask, dropping the facade.

“I’m sorry?” He shakes his head, still smiling. But you noticed his hand twitch.

“You heard me.” You step closer, searching his cold eyes that were hauntingly familiar to you, “Who. Are. You?”

His jaw clenches, smile dropping for just a split second before snapping back into his fake appearance.

“Good night, Y/n.” He says as if it was a pleasantry. But his voice was far from pleasant. “I hope you get home safe. The storm’s not over yet.”

It’s not over yet, Y/n

Your eyes widen at the words, sudden realisation washing over you like a tsunami. The voice. That god damn voice.

You wanted nothing more than to run back into that house, to drag Heather and her family away from Billy. But it wasn’t Billy. And that definitely wasn’t Heather. You were too late.

So, instead, you back away, running to the car and slamming the door shut behind you, panting.

“What happened?” Max asks, poking hear head through the seats in the back. You say nothing as you quickly pull away from the house.

You hated to admit it, to have to drag someone else into a mess you knew would end badly, but you couldn’t do deal with this alone. You were going to need help.

God, you hoped they would help you.

Chapter 7: This Is What We Do For The People We Love ->

taglist: @gnnnne / @beepisbeep / @paintballkid711/ @eddiesbirdie/ @livasaurasrex/ @darktimelegends / @jackierose902109 / @mvrylee / @chervbs/ @eternallyvenus / @nervouscatsuit / @f1nn-wolfhard / @hereiamhereigo / @ladybug0095

[catchyhuh]

LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS SO MUCH YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF THEM. very curious, what do you think each of their favorite flowers are? thank you, have a nice day 👍

if there’s one thing i like more than talking for hours on end only semi-comprehensibly, it’s being right about the bullshit i'm talking about! so thank you!! i did no research for this whatsoever! i’ve never actually thought about this before, so i just thought about basic flowers i knew, checked my animal crossing shit, and this is what we have now!

lupin: insists it’s some grandiose shit like some highly symbolic rare orchid or chocolate cosmos but really he just likes forget-me-nots. they’re cute, and he usually favors such intense colors that their soft blue is really eye catching just by NOT being eye catching, if that makes sense. that said he’s kind of a sap about flowers in general. knows flower language and shit, but men rarely receive flowers, so when he gets them he doesn’t give a shit what they are, he’s just happy to have them. the meaning could be “i’m going to fucking kill you” and he’d be like “oh wow, what a lovely shade of yellow!! jigen clear off the windowsill by the counter these need a special sunny spot”

jigen: not a flower per se but i think people put it in bouquets so. rex begonias (disclaimer i did have to do a little research here because i could not for the life of me understand why the fucked up leaves weren’t popping up for me when i was JUST searching for begonias) because these things look prickly and even scary at a glance but when put next to the right stuff they just enhance the whole ordeal. plus he likes unconventional shit. symbolic cough

fujiko: tells people its roses to seem uncomplicated, really prefers dahlias. the poof is nice. honestly, she probably is sick of roses by this point in her life, and any other type of flower seems sweeter and more genuine, and honestly, just better to smell and look at. roses have so much associated with them, both in general romance and not to mention the whole different colors mean different things and she hates having to overthink receiving a pretty gift. so just… do anything else! but really, if you really wanted to make her smile, some fluffy pink dahlias would do the trick

goemon: if you asked, i don’t think he’d say he didn’t have an opinion, but he’d really have to think about it, and almost struggles trying to find an answer because he’s WAY overthinking this. i think he likes lilies. you know? he seems like a lily guy. specifically water lilies, just kinda floating along the river. they’re pretty! and despite what he says about the sanctity of training or whatever, it’s nice to have something pretty to look at, just slowly swaying against the water.

zenigata: honeysuckles :) the color sticks out, and it’s such an easy but memorable name that he can actually REMEMBER what they’re called. maybe some of them like. grew by his house when he was a kid or something. some personal attachment. cuz you know you can sip the nectar out of those and honestly it’s NOT bad honestly. it’s not something he’s constantly thinking about, or even thinks about every month. but when he passes some hes like oh! honeysuckles! that’s nice

[nyxirrationalstories]

Hey! May i ask an overprotective dad Shura (kotz) finding out that male reader (bronze knight) is dating Hyoga. Maybe he finds them kissing or making out or maybe someone accidentally tells him. Do whatever you’re comfortable with. Thank you! Have a good day/night

Not NSFW for character below 17 or 18, but i can do suggestive or allusion.

I made it more funny than serious, I hope you enjoy it.

Camus was feeling a little strange about the day. Hyoga was more punctual than usual and Isaac seemed to want to distract him from something.

The weirdest thing was that Deathmask seemed to be taking measurements of Hyoga and building something. Milo told him that he was building a coffin.

The usual, everyday stuff. Yeah, he built coffins for his friends; he took great pleasure in making coffins- okay, sarcasm aside, what the fuck was going on?

The answer came in the form of a very angry Capricorn saint. Behind him was his apprentice, who Shura regarded as a kind of younger brother, even a son.

--- Keep your student away from mine --- Shura, always so direct and unhesitating, seemed quite annoyed. Camus looked at the young man behind Shura and then at his two students, who were not supposed to be paying attention to the two saints. He looked more sternly and noticed how Hyoga's cosmos wavered a bit. There, he had found the culprit, now it was his turn to deal with his companion --- First his training and then his horniness.

--- His what? --- Camus looked again at Hyoga, who was giving him competition in terms of killing with his eyes with Shura --- I think there might be a mistake.

--- Boy, show him your leg --- Camus was seriously thinking of taking a vacation, or taking his disciples to Siberia for training to avoid these problems. With a little embarrassment, Hyoga showed the wound on his leg, provoked by the Capricorn saint --- they are only 13 years old, I don't want him near my son, my temple and if I see him again I'll cut off his third leg.

And with that, master and apprentice returned to the temple of Capricorn.

--- What a good relationship they have, he even told him son. --- Isaac commented, watching as both knights retreated into the distance.

--- I know what you are thinking, master --- commented Hyoga looking at Camus, who was waiting for his apprentice's response --- but, my love does not make me any less worthy of my armor and my manhood.

--- Hyoga, no one cares that you're gay --- commented Camus massaging the bridge of his nose --- you're 13 years old, the most intense thing you're supposed to experience is training or a very passionate kiss. Not fucking Shura's apprentice in the house of Capricorn.

--- We were in the dark

--- But you're not even quiet when you sleep Hyoga.

--- Shut up Isaac, don't interfere.

--- Silence me, Hyoga

--- Stop it, both of you… you'll give me a headache.

…….

--- Did I say I'm sorry? --- commented the young bronze knight, looking at his master from behind.

--- like 25 times and like the other 25 times, the answer is the same --- commented the saint arriving at his temple --- What have I always told you?

--- First the training, be well with me and then go out on dates --- replied the young man --- I am no longer a child.

--- But you are also not fully aware of your actions --- the young man knew that the Spaniard wanted the best for him, only that sometimes their views clashed because of their age. --- When I said I was going to let you make your own choices, I meant a balance. Until you reach 18, I can't let you do whatever you want. I know there are still actions you may regret.

--- I think I understand… so, it doesn't make you angry that I like men? --- commented the young man

--- No, in Spain there is all kinds of things, so I'm not surprised at all --- said Shura patting the young man on the back --- now go to sleep, as punishment tomorrow's training will be harder.

--- I was saying that everything was going well.

--- Go to sleep

[fountainpenguin]

Hi, no pressure in this question of course I understand life can be busy and interests wane. But is there any chance you’re updating “Frayed Knots” soon? I really love the fic, the romance is so good and the lore so in depth

Yep! That's the 'fic I'm hoping to update in June!

You can read more about my 2024 fanfic update plans in this post if you want a more detailed explanation. It also has a list of different series you can subscribe to if you only want AO3 emails for specific fandoms I post for, but not others.

I'm really glad you like it, especially the romance and worldbuilding :) Thank you, that means a lot to me.

---

One of the things that happened with Frayed Knots was that I cut a scene that I decided was "too long" or "not relevant," even though I really liked it. I killed my darlings, as it were.

/whispers loudly - It was a scene about Anti-Cosmo having a fling with the fairy prince Eastkal and I was like. "I can't actually do this... He already has 4+ people attracted to him at this point in the story; I can't just let another person fall at his feet, even though he DID save this guy's life and Eastkal is obsessed with him."

I personally think it was hilarious because it's mostly Anti-Cosmo tying Eastkal to a bed and robbing him blind while Eastkal slowly realizes what's happening, but I felt it wasn't clicking with the D3 stuff A.C. was dealing with at that time, so I scrapped it. Anti-Cosmo has a disorder and was in a weird point at that time of the 'fic, and I didn't want him to "stop experiencing symptoms" just to have a fling scene.

So canonically, Anti-Cosmo forgot to meet up with Eastkal because he was thinking about how much he wanted to have a fling and in doing so, he failed to have a fling

However, cutting the scene really threw off a specific groove that I've needed - Eastkal being loyal to A.C. so we can hit a specific scene during the war where they face each other and it's dramatic - so I've been trying to loop back around... hence why Eastkal followed Anti-Cosmo all the way to the Anti-Fairy migration zone.

It's been very frustrating and was a good reminder that hey, there's a reason my outline is the way it is, and I shouldn't just cut scenes because a chapter is long. Some of the chapters are very long and they should be that way because it's right for the story. That's honestly why I committed to the 27k-word chapter Knots currently has last- I didn't find a good place to cut it and I really did not want to, so I remembered how frustrated I was when I cut stuff and I chose not to cut.

The next scenes I have to deal with are sensitive in nature, as they involve some important relationship changes for Anti-Cosmo, including:

- Lots of self-realization about what he wants and how it differs from the strict requirements of his culture (i.e. deferring to certain people based on their zodiac year) - Difficult conversations with Anti-Lance - Difficult things happening in school since he's trying to get into the godparenting program - Dealing with the fact that Blonda just confessed she has a crush on him and wants to see him after he comes back from migration - The fact that A.C. still wants to see Blonda even though he's betrothed to someone who's asked him to be monogamous - Large interactions with Wanda (a major character; people are probably looking forward to this scene) - Dealing with the fact that his betrothed just called off his wedding and now he's reeling from it - Facing the fact that he just realized he wants to run off with his betrothed and cross-dress because Anti-Fairy culture is super strict with gender norms and he wants to try a different lifestyle, which is a very interesting thing for him to do considering he's been sexist this entire story - Meeting Cosmo for the first time (again, a scene that should be important and handled with care) - Upcoming drama with Anti-Buster and Ant-Bryndin, including stuff that changed from my original outline, where I was planning to kill off Anti-Buster but no longer can because I've tied his life to a character who's still alive in canon

So it's a lot of stuff I think is important to do right, and I didn't want to rush it.

Also, I've been struggling with self-censorship, especially since I did a lot of worldbuilding and outlining 8 to 9 years ago, and some of my views have changed (plus general writing style improvement- Origin and Knots feel choppier and more awkward for me than they did back then).

I spent a lot of 2023 re-unlearning these hesitations, and trying to rekindle my love for what these 'fics are. They've always been villain backstory 'fics, and they're labeled with reminders that the cultures I portray are fine for insect and bat people - trickster fae especially - and not necessarily good for humans.

It just took me a while to stop feeling overly self-conscious about them and the 130 Prompts as I've gotten older and started to wonder if people think I'm trying to promote these very harmful relationships.

There are some very bad things that happen in these 'fics. Things that are harmful. Do not use villains as positive role models, especially when you're seeing them in their villain arc before they enter their silly arcs. In fact, don't use the fey as good role models at all. They are not human, I have no intention of writing them like they're human, and they do some pretty messed-up things.

And I'm glad I've come around to tap into that again, because I'm sick of living in the mindset I was in for part of 2023 where I just felt very judged and self-conscious about what I was writing. If there's one takeaway you should have from my 'fics, I hope it's a recognition that fiction is not reality and the things I write about aren't necessarily things I endorse. I like dealing with trauma across a million-year lifespan, and some pretty bad stuff happens to a lot of these characters. It's just... how it is.

But I do want to handle some of these scenes carefully, like Anti-Cosmo meeting Cosmo for the first time, because there's stuff I don't want to rush, and I want a buffer prepped so that I no longer have these awkward, surprise gaps between chapters.

tl;dr - Hopefully next month I'll have some things to post. If not in June, I'd like to be posting in July :)

[togglesbloggle]

I still toss and turn about this all the time, by the way- it’s probably the most enduring obsession of my childhood, and a nontrivial chunk of what drove me to things like geology, programming, ratspace, and even stuff you wouldn’t expect like a fondness for time travel stories or Li Po poems.

One neuron is just a cell. Many neurons, arranged just so, is a person. Qualia, interiority, volition, values, all spectacularly inexplicable in physical terms. A whole world of imagination, captured in miniature as a net with just the right pattern of string. It’s so fucking goetic. Arrange these symbols in a circle, and a demon appears, using some dread fire to give meaning to form and animate base matter. “The hard problem”, they call it.

My hard problem isn’t that it works, as such. This, I can accept, although not with full equanimity. It’s that it demonstrates something about the cosmos, because everything demonstrates something about the cosmos, and I cannot for the life of me see through that fog. The universe is not billiard balls and it’s not negative-probability waves moving through fields, because when you arrange symbols in a circle you can summon a demon. That was there from the beginning, latent at the big bang that kicked us all off. But all we have is this one thing, this tiny little biosphere on a tiny little world that stumbled blindly in to the right incantations, and everywhere else we look it’s just billiard balls as far as the eye can see. This is not to say that ‘is there extraterrestrial life?’ is the most important question, though of course it’s instrumental, and the Fermi Paradox is maddening in this context as well. But the deeper question is, ‘why in the everliving tiddlywinks does a universe with a demon-summoning ritual in it pretend to be mechanical except in this one narrow thing?’ Where’s the rest of the magic system?

And now we’re closing in on perfecting the ritual ourselves, not understanding a damn thing of course, only marginally less blind than the evolutionary process that first succeeded in us. We zero in on intelligence, the one part of all this that we’ve managed to make tractable in analytical terms, and use that to bootstrap ourselves toward something that hopefully, hopefully shares all the rest. Demons summoning demons (of course it spirals out to infinity almost immediately, how could it not?), and maybe the new ones will be able to tell us what the universe is and how we happened within it. Makes sense as a strategy, I suppose.

[valeriasdream]

Astral Express Family

Pretty self explanatory, everyone on the Express in my DR.

Name: Welt Yang

Nicknames: Mr. Yang

Age: 82 but physically 50s or 60s appearance

Height: 190-191cm/around 6'2" or 6'3" he's quite tall!

MBTI: INFJ 1w9 152 so/sp

About: The oldest member of the Astral Express, we have a relationship similar to a father-daughter dynamic. He's very caring, understanding, very intuitive and smart as well. He always gives good advice! He was originally an animator on earth and got "isekai'd" into the Star Rail universe, he's trying to get back to his family. He's also able to control black holes, though he doesn't like to use his cane often. (If you know his HI3rd lore, everything would still apply in my DR!)

Name: Himeko

Age: 32-35

Height: 173cm/5'8"

MBTI: ENFJ 7w6 721 sx/so

About: The "owner" of the Astral Express, she found the train and repaired it all herself. Kind of see her as an older sister type of person, I often go to her for advice or just for tea or coffee. She's very caring, understanding, smart and thoughtful.

Name: March 7th

Age: 21 physically but actual age unknown

Height: 160cm/5'3"

MBTI: ENFP 2w3 279 sp/so

Sexuality: Pansexual

About: Goofy, silly, fun-loving! We're pretty close and spend a lot of time together. Dan Heng doesn't like when March and I team up on missions and stuff together because we always get lost or get ourselves into trouble because we both tend to be very reckless. Also she is dating Stelle!

Name: Stelle

Age: Physically 22-25 but actual age unknown

Height: 175cm/5'9"

MBTI: INTP 5w4 594 sp/so

Sexuality: Lesbian

About: A completely chaotic little garbage goblin. She's the "main character", so a lot of events in my DR tend to focus around her. She has a stellaron just... in her body. She's really funny though, can be really sarcastic too. She's dating March.

Name: Pom-pom

There's really not much to say about Pom-pom. They're the conductor of the Express, and pretty cute.

✨🪷✨

Lady Leizu (I don't have a fc for her, sorry)

Age: 23 physically, actual age 1000+

Height: 157cm/5'2"

MBTI: ESFP 4w5 sx/sp I'm not sure on her tritype oops

About: She was my personal guard and best friend on my home planet, and helped me flee. We wandered the cosmos together for a very long time (like 500+ years no joke) and then eventually met Himeko, Welt Yang, Dan Heng and March 7th from the Express. We both join the Astral Express together where she remains my friend and becomes a train guard with Dan Heng. Actually she's based on my best friend from my CR, haha. I included her in this section because she joins me on the Astral Express, but she doesn't exist in the game at all.

[wandringaesthetic]

I wanted to kinda respond to @risingoflights post I reblogged re: FFVII Rebirth feeling shallow but didn't want to do it on the reblog of their post because this is going to be a lot

First of all, if I was grand czar of the universe, Remake/Rebirth/Reunion wouldn't exist. You can't go back, you can't step in the same river twice. I don't like the cash grab, I don't like the idea of replacing the original. Nothing can replace the original. It's not 1997 and we live in a world in which Final Fantasy VII already exists. I would rather they spent the time and money working on FFXVII.

However.

I am also mortal and weak and FFVII had a huge impact on my life and I'm against the concept of denying myself simple pleasures, so ofc I played them, preordered them asap, etc. And with Remake? With the understanding that I don't think that the game should exist, I also think that it is about the best possible version of the concept that could exist. In the words of Tim Rogers, it is more Final Fantasy VII than Final Fantasy VII. It's not flawless, but nothing is. I think of it like I think of the Lord of the Rings movies. Are they *perfect* adaptations of the books? No. But they're about the maximum good it was possible for them to be. And the fact that it is a stealth *sequel* to the original game actually makes me feel better about the whole endeavor. We aren't even really trying to replace the original. The original is a key component to what we're doing here. It's in conversation with the original.

(Adaptation may be an even more apt metaphor than I originally intended, because a video game in 1997 and a AAA video game in 2024 are for all intents and purposes different mediums. It's like comparing silent film to something that came out last week. It has a different toolkit, a different runtime, a different budget, etcetcetc)

(spoilers for all of Rebirth from here)

I enjoyed Rebirth quite a lot but I don't feel as rosy about it as I did about Remake. I spent about 130 hours on Rebirth. One could play the original game in its entirety three times in that time, and there's not that much more going on in Rebirth, plot-wise, than there is in this segment of the original game. There's a lot of *setup*. It looks like there's going to be a lot more going on in Wutai than in the OG in part 3, Rufus is having a really weird time, I love what they did with the Gi and with Cosmo Canyon &etc, but beyond texture there's not a huge amount of meaningful content here. The stuff that is going on with Cloud and Sephiroth is so much more *subtle* in the OG, but also it can be because it's doing it with a fraction of the runtime and the text. Sephiroth has to pop up a lot more here because while you're running around taking photos and making cactuar poses and finding every piece of the genji armor and soaking up the gleefully absurd world and its approximately 3000 minigames you might legitimately forget about him if he didn't pester Cloud repeatedly.

This makes me very interested in what Squeenix might do with a game/story/world that was built for this runtime/structure, and again, I had a really fun time with this game, but it does, I agree, make for a more shallow overall experience than the original did.

AS FOR THE PLOT where it diverges rather than just expands on the original and the multiverse/meta stuff: now that I know that they're going for multiverse shenanigans and not just straight up "we are taking a different path from here" like it looked like they might be at the end of Remake

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm how to put this

The more you increase the scope of a conflict, the more you run the risk of the whole thing collapsing in on itself. Now I know this is Final Fantasy and the stakes being no more or less than the fate of the world is the norm here. An epic scope is a necessity. But when you're dealing with the fate of multiple timelines and every reality, it makes the choices and stakes of the individual human characters and conflicts kind of trivial. Original flavor FFVII is, at least on one level, about holding off the corporate-greed-driven death of the planet we live on. Rebirth makes that kind of a side show to Sephiroth and Aerith's struggle to see who gets to say what reality is and maybe also their struggle for Cloud's soul. By making the stakes even bigger, you kind of make them even smaller. Instead of being about monopolies and energy consumption and breaking out of the matrix, etc, it's kind of just about this one guy (Sephiroth) who sucks. Why are Aerith and Cloud and Zack and Sephiroth determining the fate of every reality again? Why THESE guys?

(This is notably a potential critique of the original game, that Sephiroth kind of sucks all the light and air out of the plot post-Midgar. Wouldn't it be interesting if Shinra were the main baddies the whole way through? Yeah, but that would be a different story, wouldn't it?)

What was I saying?

Well.

Without something to ground these multiple realities-and-planets-and-universes types stakes it gets sort of hard to relate to and hang onto and be touched by the story. Since Aerith is dead in some realities and alive in others and since "dead loved one" is a reality many people face within our universe and "both alive and unalive" loved one is not.... I mean, again, epic fantasy story but it has to hang on to real life emotions in SOME way, right? If there are many universes does what we do even fuckin matter, man?

FFXIV grounds its grand multiple-universes-and-planets stakes by making Endwalker metaphorically about each person's struggle against despair and the knowledge of each of our own inevitable deaths. And, I don't know, maybe Reunion will do something like this eventually but Rebirth pretty much doesn't and so I don't know what to do with it at this time.

[theantarwitch]

The Witch's Book of Self-Care: Honest review (With positive and negative points)

The Witch's Book of Self-Care: Magical Ways to Pamper, Soothe, and Care for Your Body and Spirit by Arin Murphy-Hiscock.

I started to read it with skepticism (my main way to take everything… yeah, I know, weird coming from a WITCH) but this book surprise me pleasantly.

Written with an evident good intention, the book doesn’t feel pedantic, and neither bring that “obnoxious positive energy of good vibes only not allowed to feel anything bad” but bring a nurturing, warm, caring and patient energy. Easy to understand, no technical language, no specific psychological words. Not big chunks of text that could make us ADHD pals get lost. Short, concise, easy steps.

Focused in the practical side, is not a book that you will read and automatically discover the hidden truth of your mind (even when it has a few very interesting quotes to keep always on sight), but a book of tools to improve yourself.

If you are looking for epiphanies in each page, is not your book. If you are looking for what to do for your own, or even as a complementary task with your therapy, heck yeah. Like, I kinda hate copy rituals from others but this book has a few that make me say DANG I NEED TO DO THAT.

General review: 8.5/10 with 4.5 stars, which is a lot to a witch book (for me, mostly of the witch books are under the 6/10, so that say a lot). General a great book with some small “BUT” here and there.

Positive Points:

Even when she mentions that womens struggle more with self-care, she also take the detail to mention that’s not a “woman-exclusive problem” and the book is “genderless”.

Emphasis of the self-care in “small doses each day” instead “huge changes”, great to aim to chronic ill people.

Consideration of the complexity of the self-care, interconnected to many other aspects of the life, going against the toxic “easy to fix/solutions” mentality like “exercise fix depression” or “yoga to erase mentally struggles”.

Consideration to the personal limitations like income, free time, so the author presents some non-classist, non-ableist, non-neurotypical views.

Hygge concept, which can fit into a semi “open culture” that take “cottagecore” and remove the classism of it to turn it into a more plausible, easy to access- daily- mindfulness mentality.

The psychological aspect of the book is 10/10.

No medical bullshit, misinformation or “herbs that heal everything”.

Clear separation between “herbal magic” and “herbalism” as they don’t make them mutually exclusive. * happy green witch noises *

The book is not focused to teach about basic magic knowledge and it point it, and yet take a moment to explain some super basic stuffs to make sure no new witches gets lost.

Small attack against the mainstream use of manifestations as if was a harry potter spell to get stuffs, without deny the effective aspect of it.

Mention the “Divine” a few times but more like a “higher being/ cosmos” and not like “The Deity”, neither mention the “God and Goddess”. No Wiccan tints.

Many good and very interesting easy to make rituals. Some are even more close to a psychological exercise and helpful daily tips than a ritual. She remembers us recurrently that the reader can manipulate them and change them accordingly their needs.

Sporadic considerations to people in different geographic places, chronic ill people, people with triggers, and others; stepping aside of the classical self-care books aimed to body abled neurotypical ones.

Don’t do guilt pressure like “do this or you will never heal”, instead she points that you must do what you can, allowing yourself to stop if is too much. 10/10

Don’t fall into the “things must be done in this way” mentality. She says some things like extinguish the candle or the incense instead of let them burn completely. Casting the circle and the anti-clockwise movement, are mentioned as she remembers us that is our path, our ways and we can change them as we need it.

The “if you are serious depressed, check a professional if you can”. Maybe is too obvious to point it, but the witch community lately is too mixed with the dangerous “illnesses are symptoms of a spiritual growth”, so I’m glad the author is not falling into that hole.

Food section. Not magical, but food. Edible. Curious that a self-care book pay attention to throw easy, pretty cheap recipes focusing in nutrition and not in calories, also mentioning vegan variations. 10/10

The author takes a second in remember to be careful with herbal teas and check any interaction with medication, just as warnings to pregnancy. 20/10

Good explication of the deity aspect of witchcraft, with emphasis in the worship part and how is a relationship that demand respect.

Non-religious. She points it in some places but only when is needed. Clear separation between religion and spirituality.

Full replacement of the Feng Shi (Closed practice) to explain about the Basic Elements of the Rooms (Very open).

No chakras mention, no karma.

Negative Points:

She mention that self-care is “a healthy mind, body and spirit”. Tricky when, in medicine and psychology, “healthy” is not a matter of yes or not, but more like “pathological grades”. Nobody is full healthy, but having a low grade of illnesses that don’t affect substantially the normal life. Besides that self-care is “the process of taking care of oneself with behaviors that promote health and active management of illness when it occurs”. But okay, I’m being annoyingly technical, I let it pass.

Some topics felt somehow rushed when it has so much room to explain, discuss and even rant.

I’m a hard anti capitalist ak broke af witch who get acne and lose hair each time I see the word “purchase”, so I feel forced to point that some of their rituals (and I quote the words of the book) “…most of them are easy and accessible, and others ask for minor purchases of herbs or stones…” (Page 13). But also mostly is “basic grocery stuffs” easy to replace, so I give half bad point lol.

Essential oils. Also quoted “…Essential oils may seem expensive…”. Double pain. But also point cheaper replacements and their dangerousness, so, half bad point.

She points that you can get a “negative outcome” by having a “creative visualization”, which sounded a little like “you can manifest yourself bad stuffs, control your ADHD, bad things happen because you don’t control your mind”. But again, is just me being a prick and looking for each detail.

Sometimes she kinda contradicts. In some point they say “…Rewiring your brain by repeating something is easy to do…” and a few lines later they say “…It can be very difficult to retrain your inner voice to be nurturing…”. So… is easy or not?

“Pregnant women”.

Mentions of Cultural appropriation:

-          The raffia fiber, ylang-ylang (I have not info about them, I don’t know nothing about their status of closed/open so I can’t say shit). -          Sage. Not smudging or white sage, but yet… sage… as if there are not enough other open herbs on the planet. -          She says to research about deities without consider the closed aspect of some of them (like Isis, Durga and Kuan Yin from the page 94). -          Talk about “Spirit Animals” without say they are closed to Native Americans, even when later add the variation of power animal and animal spirit (open versions of the Spirit Animals). -          Tibetan Bowls.

In general, more good than bad, very recommended (being aware of the bad side).