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offbrandkyoya · 1 year

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50 hopefully

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You’re feeling a bit better than yesterday but a part of you is still upset. You woke up this morning feeling good but it washes away when you recall last nights events. Sitting up, you grabbed your phone from the nightstand, and Scaramouche never texted you once. Your breath shakes and you get up to start the day.

Currently, you are eating lunch with Thoma since it’s break. You’ve been spacing out but working on your art project distracted you. You ate and stared at the table. Thoma is concerned for you and he decides to ask, “What’s wrong?” You look up at him and the guilt surfaces. “Uh, well…” You put your fork down and hold your hands. “Scaramouche and I got into a fight.” Thoma gains a shocked expression. “Oh no. I’m sorry, yn.” You smile forcibly. “It’s okay.”

Then, you frown again. “Thoma, I have to tell you something.” He tilts his head a little. “What is it?” You look around before leaning towards him and whispered, “I know.” He blinks. “Know what?” You look around again. “Not here.” You say and get up, gathering your things and throwing your trash away. Thoma follows you and throws away his stuff too. You lead him to the lounge and sit on the couch. He sits next to you still confused.

“Thoma, I know about you and Diluc.” Suddenly, his face went white. He shook and picked on his skin as he chuckled awkwardly. “H-How did-How did you find out?” You took out your phone and show him the message you received. He grew more and more anxious as he read the article, word for word. Thoma looks away and you take it as a sign that he doesn’t want to read it anymore.

Putting your phone away, you place a hand on top of his, mostly to stop him from hurting his skin. “I wont tell Diluc, I promise.” Thoma nods. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’m letting you know because I don’t want to keep it a secret from you.” You caressed his hand. “You’re a good guy so I’ll do whatever you want me to do with this information.” Thoma sighs and thinks for a moment. He looks at you and asks, “Are you the only one who knows?” You shook your head. “Scaramouche knows but I doubt he’ll say anything.” ‘Hopefully.’

Thoma nods again. “It’s pretty sad. Our history.” You frown and give him a tight hug. “I’m sorry.” He hugs back and buries his face in your shoulder. “It’s okay.” He says, softly. You both pull away from each other. “Enough of that,” You say. “I want to show you how my projects going.” Thoma smiles. “I’m pretty excited.” He tells you. You get out your phone once more and show him a photo of your artwork. He gasps, “Woah, that’s so good!” You blushed. “Is it? You don’t think it’s too much?” He shakes his head. “Of course not. You’re very talented.”

You smile and look at the piece as well. “I’m sure Scaramouche agrees.” Those words made you gasp and turn to him. Thoma only smiled at you and you couldn’t help but look at your drawing again. The bell rings and Thoma stands up to leave. “Are you coming?” He asks since you didn’t move. “You go without me.” You say and he nods, leaving you on your own. You bit your bottom lip. Slowly, you opened Scaramouche’s contact and stared at the keyboard.

Your finger went to press a key but you stopped when you received a message.

- kny ep today and i sobbed

- can’t wait for next season 😁😁

- also hq returning soon kinda nervous

- I miss them 😞☹️

- I started watching nhie (only on s2 no spoilers pls even though Ik who she ends up w in the end lol)

🏷️ @sakiimeo @coquettemaiden @rmiyuki @kur44pika @theblueblub @jxxji0309 @dreamsofminnie @ohmyfinggod @redactedhimbo @kunisbeloved @akagism2 @sketcheeee @thefandomcrow @beriiov @thenightsflower @yukiipc @scaraapologist @scarletttcroww @samyayaya @crucnhice @monaypo1 @feiherp @myaaones @warcelia @hangecanweholdhands @yuminako @valiryyz @screechingxiaolover @tiddieshakeshownu @ilovechuuyaa @d4y-dr3am3r @dazaisfavgf @swivy123 @ganyusbrideee @sagegreenthinks @the-left-glove @wonderland-fan @kylexzz @kaoyamamegami @whycantscarabereal @rvoulte @eunchaeluvr @lxkeeeee @silvermah @baby-bread-in @yelleloww @magica-ren @itzblazekun @im-inlovewithy0u @featuredtofu

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legodamianwayne · 1 year

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BATMAN AND ROBIN 2023 #1 (Take 6 (yes))

(im not writing this as i go since ive already read the issue before. ill also be mentioning gotham war since this takes place during it (just a warning for spoilers!))

i just noticed the bat and robin on the cover! so cute

OH........(just noticed this too) that doesn't look good

look at them goofing off n having fun

this is cute but the way bruce acts here and in gotham war is so jarring its kinda funny

bruce in batman #137: can't stand my fake ass family

bruce in b&r: me and my son damian 🤗

bruce is in his "local dilf in the area" era rn

damian having talia's mannerism that bruce noticed is so <3

and here its confirmed that this takes place during gotham war. not sure how to feel about that

STILL INSANE OVER THIS baby first self insert fanfic

damian went from drawing hyper realistic gore vent art to anime eyes in the corner

i think it'd be fun if we see damian write more as the story goes on. like him daydreaming n doodling in class

wonder if theres any meaning with damian putting talia as a hero n bruce as a criminal here...or maybe its just a "totally original character do not steal" thing

you dont say bruce 🙄

"the last few years"?? pretty sure the events shown there all happened not even in 2 years since damian turned 14 around the start of the lazarus tournament

also why are alfred n talia not shown there? alfred's death has huge impact on damian (he literally hallucinated him) n talia was there as much as ra's

i dont like how damian looks here but that white connor should be a crime

"thats enough emotions for tonight father" [slams door]

i wonder why damian is staying with bruce tho (outside of making this book exist) didn't bruce n talia had a custody battle moment™ n damian's like "nah i have my own life (is literally 14)"

HELL YEAH MY BOY CAN COOK

he's quoting alfred ohhh im gonna sob

this is kinda embarrassing for bruce...like ur son is finally living with you again n he's the one up early cooking?? sir u better step up

aw he's making tea the way alfred did

*squints* did bruce get his hand back? thats a pretty normal looking hand to me

did damian's comment on it in batman #137 made bruce think "shit i cant give damian any ideas of getting a robot hand" n he just. magically grow it back

[GLASS SHATTERING SOUND]

gotham...heights? n. not gotham academy? no maps? no damian joining her dnd team?? no detective club finally hanging out with damian??

ik damian got expelled from gotham academy BUT. WHY

okay? whats the point if he's not going to the same school that his friend went to?

interesting how damian fantasize for a normal life in robin 2021 (with him liking the mundanity of shoujo manga) n now that bruce is offering him that he's rejecting it (or maybe he just rly don't like school which is. fair enough)

wellll just cuz we're not getting maps n the detective club doesn't mean damian's other friends arent showing up right? RIGHT? (maya plz come home)

THE ROBIN MOBILEEE it looks so ridiculous i love it

HOLD ON. DOES THIS CAR HAVE NO SEAT BELTS?? BRUCE UR LETTING THIS SLIDE?

ik that thing is rly loud too damian waking up the whole neighborhood here

not rumors abt the batfam fighting getting spread around?? this is so embarrassing omg

am i the only one getting gotham academy flashbacks here? with killer croc n the trio with the fox shark n bird masks

they're very comfortable with calling eachother father n son while in suits huh. ig everyone in gotham knows that batman is a dilf (who's beefing with his adult children) now

not much to say abt the rest: bruce got shot with something n now bats are attacking him

end thoughts: i hope with all the focus on animals here means that we're getting damian's pets back soon n that gotham war wont affect this book much since i rly want to see damian interact with his siblings again. also is it just me or does the day scenes looks very bright? saturated? it kinda hurts for me to read idk. the night scenes r pretty tho

next issue is damian's first day on his new school that is not gotham academy but im still excited for it! (coping)

bonus bestie corner

#damian wayne #bruce wayne #batman and robin 2023 #FINALLY tumblr keeps posting it while im editing it but its done yippee #this is inspired by makeste bnh/a liveblogs! i remember how much fun it was reading them that i wanna try it with b&r #tho i dont think i could ever write as much for a single issue...#still figuring out how i want to do this

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fandomxo00 · 2 months

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UMBRELLA ACADEMY SEASON 4 SPOILERS BEWARE RANT

❗️❗️❗️

As for the umbrella academy on my wattpad same @ I have an fanfic about Five Hargreeves, and Im continuing it and making some adjustments and making it go out a little longer than it did

I just finished season 4 and I have loved every single season so far but I just feel like Netfilx did them dirty, why couldn't they finally be happy? If you know about Sparks Fly my umbrella academy fanfic, thats where i am going to try and fix everything bc story without happy endings are stupid (i get it every one else around them had a happy ending but its not fair to them) they didn't get to choose to be umbrellas yeah they destroyed the world a few times well alot actually lmao (the five diner scene) but they were set up to fail. the ending is depressing and i dont know if i will do a good job, but ik i love the umbrella's and when i watched it the first time i instantly connected with the show. i also love writing characters with powers and the dynamics between the characters is amazing. so hopefully i wont screw this up and it may take awhile but i have stuff planned so far and im so excited to write for this!!

Okay and I loved Lila and Five's dynamic in season 2/3 I HATE WHAT THEY DID IN SEASON 4! Poor Diego and he just lets it go ik it was the end but still he didn't deserve that. I get the drama I get that, but I really dont think they shouldve gotten together at all. Not all relationships have to romantic (lol says me a romance fanfic writer) And its not bc i dont want five to be someone but Lila is the wrong someone.

How did you guys like the season? Ik alot ppl didn't love season 3 but its clearly my favorite.

#five hargreeves #number five #aidan gallagher #theboy #5 #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy season 4 #tua season 4 #tua #tua spoilers

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jaydexbg · 5 months

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Hey, hi sorry, me again. The more I keep thinking about it the more I dislike restoration. This is veeery personal tasty- (spoilers below)

but I'm so angry Grimmons didn't happen, cmon Burnie, you had us in the first half "come with me" seriously. Then you shot me in the head while I was distracted by badass tex- actually keeping me up at night what was the thought behind this. I love you Burnie, I do, Morning Somewhere is great and part of my daily, but the ending murdered me. (I'll accept Sarge, hell even Doc, but I draw the line at no cannon Grimmons)

Silly 21 year queer bait joke goes here. But they are in love, Idk how anyone can say otherwise. It sort of felt like a slap in the face? Specially with Simmons "no I wont" line about visiting Earth (or similar to that) like... what. Ik I'm not alone in this but not getting it in RvBs Swansong, its final season, it's thank you to long time fans (Grimmons is by far the most popular RvB ship) feels wrong.

Maybe I'm overreacting but either way I needed to speak/vent this LOL. I like it as a non-cannon simulation but I might pause before the final scenes so the idiots stay together in Blood Gulch. Bc they are in love 🧡[maroon heart emoji]

#red vs. blue #rvb #red vs blue restoration #rvb restoration #restoration spoilers #sort of vent #jay's rambles #not seriousish

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urmomluvbot · 1 year

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i just read a little life and here's a messy review of the book by saying my opinion on people's takes on it

[THERE WILL BE SPOILERS] also dont expect this to be professional etc

i want to start off by saying that this book is like willem's movie "life after death"; either people absolutely loved it or people hated it. and i fucking love this. would i be rereading it? probably not. but would i think of jude for the rest of my days? yes.

the thing i keep reading about from the people who didnt like it is that a) it's a trauma porn, b.) it's lengthy with various of unnecessary parts, and c.) its just a sad book with a sad ending.

something that i dont really understand is people's need and urge and want to always, always read a book expecting a happy ending. ("and books lied, they made things prettier"). spoiler alert: life isnt like that! its ugly and u cant always run away from its ugliness, no matter how hard you try. no matter how hard jude tried. and i always had this hunch, when i was first reading it, that it wont end the way i'll like it, but still i hope and hope and hoped for jude and for all of them, and thats just the Human part of me. my in denial.

as someone who struggled from mental health, i actually guiltily thought in the middle of the book, "why hasnt he k!lled himself yet?" even before jude's attempt. i cant handle the thought of putting myself in his situation and pushing through, and that's the reality as well. you thought about it and yet , complying to it somehow makes you think that the hyenas won. that brother luke won, that dr traylor won. and the thing about jude is he always try. he tried to get through life, he tried to accept romance in his life, he tried and he tries to accept everyone's devotion and help because even though he feels like he doesn't deserve it; he feels like he owes them that at least. to try.

i can see how people, especially the first ones when it just came out, may be put off by the tones and the topics of this book, but as years went by and it grows in popularity, the trigger warnings had been set. one thing ive set my mind to when i bought the book is the advice i was given: to only read it when im in a stable stage of my life, and that's why it took me almost a year before i started reading it after buying it. the triggers are listed for anyone to see. YES. those things do happen in real life. those things, esp the rape and physical mental and verbal abuse DO come in hand majority of the time. the book is not trauma dumping or a trauma porn: it simply tells. (imo, its on YOU if u think this is a trauma porn. imo, it says a lot about you as a person).

the book is lengthy because it is intended to be, the "unnecessary parts" are not just fillers but a stepping stone to unraveling jude's past, to fully grasp the situation. they are there for a reason. you can skim through the book if you want to avoid them: but believe me when i say you wont fully get the book if you do. the book is not meant to be enjoyed. its meant to tell a story, to make you feel things for the characters, may it be pity or joy or anger.

jude is not meant to be understood or to help or to be pitied at, hes meant to exist. and those things are something that was given to him willingly by the people he loved. and the characters are all flawed. andy is a bad doctor, willem is lovable and maybe had too much love, malcolm is perfect (i love him so much), jb is infuriating most of the times, harold shouldve pushed more. they all shouldve pushed more, but they cant. because the way they love is also flawed and it gets in the way, because judy is also flawed. hes stubborn and confusing. but those are traits that makes them all human.

ive reblogged this before but ill say it again: ik its a meme, but not everything can be solved through therapy. again, it took jude YEARS to finally tell willem his past– willem. willem who jude probably trust with his life, who he lets help him and seeked out for him when he was bleeding to death from cutting too much. you think jude would talk to a shrink he barely knows? someones whos literally paid to talk to him? not even jb and malcolm knew.

smth i wanna address that i rlly dont get is people who claims it's homophobic, and i really and genuinely cant see it, as a lesbian person myself. every talk about sexuality (if there even is any thats worth noting for this part), had come naturally. everyone existed how people exist with each other. even when willem and jude got together, theres barely any talk about willem's sexuality. also, hot take (/s): sexuality is confusing!! not everyone wants to label themselves. ive known multiple ppl who majorly likes girls only, but have fallen for their recent boyfriend. it happens, surprise! not everyone wants to put themselves in a box.

in conclusion: i think people expects this book to turn out for the better as a psychological response. surprise, it doesn't. my opinion? it's not meant to be enjoyed. i dont recommend this to anyone but only because it IS devastating and im a sadist if i want people to experience those feelings the book will brought. however, the characters, the delivery of the story and the pacing, and hanya's god bowing writing style are what makes this book GREAT. great ≠ happy ending, just like how sad ending ≠ bad book. thanks!

#a little life #jude st francis #willem ragnarsson #jb marion #malcolm irvine #harold stein #book review #rant

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volfoss · 11 months

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HIIIII for that game you just posted about (<- guy who likes these things) 💜 my favorite emoji

YIPPEE sorry i WILL infodump a bit because i do think you could go so insane over mistos. for many reasons but im putting it under a cut both for like the 3 mutuals who are interested in it and dont want spoilers and also bc i dont want to make a 5 million paragraph long post.

so mistos is i guess the deuteragonist in volfoss but his deal requires a bit of explaining about the narrative before i can get into why i think youd like him based off the other guys you like :) so volfoss is basically about dealing with the repercussions of seeing your trooper group (troopers are basically mercenaries who get requests to clear out monsters or help people in other ways) getting killed in front of you and chasing the guy who did it down and also theres a war (dw about it. the horrors happen). mistos personally had to see a lot of the slaughter, to the point where well. mistos sees the man who did it partially and their leader's body (who in terms of the game, we see referenced as someone who both mistos and shalvas (the protagonist) relied on a lot) laid on the killers feet as some sort of sacrifice. mistos lives with a lot of guilt that he really couldnt stop the massacre from happening (bc it wasnt just one guy) and has a lot of complex feelings on what he wants to do when they find the guy who did it. shalvas meanwhile is well. pretty clearly like yeah i want his ass DEAD for what he did to us. also important to know this guy did nearly kill mistos. so he has a good reason if he didnt like him and wanted him dead.

but the thing is, mistos in either ending, doesn't want him dead. they confront this guy in a tournament at the end of act 1, and the way they deal with him depends on if you're on the good or bad ending path. on the good ending, he actively stops shalvas. the man who did it (keeping it vague bc i stay sillay ok) literally pleads for mistos to kill him but mistos refuses. hes a character that to me is really interesting because of this, and that on the evil route um. shalvas does kill him pretty brutally in front of the audience and mistos is actively trying to stop him. i think hes honestly very complex and the fact that it caused him an insane amount of trauma to witness the attack and yet. in both variations, he forgave him and moved past it.

in terms of personality, mistos is very sarcastic and jokes around a lot but is a really good strategist. he pretty much took over silver fang (the trooper org u are part of) and is NOT enjoying adjusting to that (from what ik, he used to be a pretty involved and strong trooper before this, but he took the responsibility so shalvas didn't have to). he has a lot of kindness though, he's very patient with shalvas (who has like. some form of memory loss) and he's really sweet to rially (who is a girl that basically comes to hang out somewhat often after they helped her defeat some monsters). like i think a lot of the way he shows care for people is kind of joking around but he also has a really hard time i think getting into his issues unless he makes them as jokes. like the first mission shalvas goes out alone, shalvas is really upset that mistos wont be there (due to the fact that at that point in the game you are weak as fuck lmao) and mistos kind of jokes about how its a ton of work to keep the base guarded and that he's basically really risking his life (which imo. was a combo of his sense of humor leaning towards self deprecating and also trying to make shalvas feel better about going off alone) by taking care of the base. but every time before shalvas leaves, mistos will always offer advice. and after every mission he and shalvas go to grista (a bar) and have a little how was the mission talk. he does genuinely deeply care for shalvas (and the other surviving member of their group, marica, but she appears a lot less so its hard for me to really get into their deal)

he also fights by using really sharp threads (his attack name is called the thread waver) and he DOES kick ass but unfortunately he doesnt fight alongside you a lot of the time. but i think youd like him due to how he takes a lot of the burden on himself and also stays silly. he loves to antagonize one specific guy at the start of the game but eventually grows to be good friends with him and idk :) hes just a nice and silly guy

#asks #im so fucking sowwy i have a lot to say #♟

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basilquesadilla · 1 year

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Just a warning, this post is just a rant/vent with about 0 organization, and may also have some mild, vague spoilers.

Watched Heartstopper season 2 with a friend last night, and I think this time that show really hit me hard and made me feel super single with my aromanticism, even with Issac there. I really enjoyed spending time with my friend, but I got sad because my thoughts were going “This isn’t forevee, you’ll be back to being alone soon.” Watching issac feel awkward amongst his own friend group felt so relatable, anf I resonated with that hard.

I feel like my aromanticism is just something I’m constantly going up and down with how I feel about it. I’ll feel great about it for a bit, then i wont feel hood about it at all for a while, which is getting tiring to experience. I often try to attach queerplatonic/platonic meaning to romantic songs, and i tried to do that with the song that played in the final scene where Charlie talks about the bullying he experienced and what it was like. But i couldn’t do it. There’s not even anyone I’ve met that i’d wanna be in a queerplatonic relationship with, aside from a few where i knew there was no chance. I just felt so lonely so I couldn’t even listen to it.

One thing that doesn’t help me is I feel so touch starved yet I’m also often touch-averse, likely due to the former. It took me nearly a.year with my current friends who I met last year to even do hugs, and I doubt it’ll ever go beyond that because i feel like people never show their friends that much physical affection. Especially since, even if i am non binary, i still look like a cis man right now. And I know a lot of people would find like doing any physical affection with me because of that probably, and I’m touch averse so what does it matter anyways lol. It’s just a torturous limbo lol.

My friend was saying how the show made them want to reinstall dating apps, and meanwhile after the show I had to tune my thoughts out with TikTok and listening to other music to avoid my thoughts.

Another thing that hurts is(this is some long context that i need to add) is that after high school ended, i really didnt get to keep in contact with a lot of my friends(Ik that’s common but bear with me). I’d watch some of them thriving and finding friends despite it being 2020 fall semester where covid was still in its full swing in terms of impact on uni, and meanwhile I was alone. I was severely depressed, and lonely. Because no one i met in my courses with other engineering majors clicked with me(the classes were pre reqs for me as a computer science major). So then I got more lonely, and sophomore year was a repeat.

Final week of school that 2nd year i even decided i couldn’t take talking to even my online friends community aside from 2-3 close friends there. Then junior year happens, and i met my current friends. And of course i love them and everything. But i also have this voice in my head saying that the repeat will happen post graduation. We’ll all go to different places, and then they’ll talk to me less and less, and eventually I’ll just feel lonely and isolated again, and be back to thinking some very dark thoughts. And it’s terrifying. And i guess watching heartstopper s2 reminded me of all that, even tho i absolutely adored it still. All i could think in the back of my head was “you will never experience affectionate touch like this. You will never be able to be in a romantic relationship,’or a queerplatonic one. You’ll be lonely and your friends won’t always be there with you.”

So yeah, here I am, back to feeling shitty about being aromantic and hating it. Because instead of feeling the yearning, crushing, and relationships like others. Instead of feeling physical affection like others. Instead of being able to see a future with a partner. All im experiencing right now is bitterness at my lot in life and how i feel like all my friends will slowly leave me, and i won’t be able to make new ones because I suck at doing that as shown by the 2 years before meeting my current ones. And that just makes me feel depressed. I honestly feel kinda broken and hopeless. Aro and thus a lot of relationship options are cutoff from me, cant find people I’d want to enter a queerplatonic relationship with, AND have trouble with making friends. It just feels like I’m destined to be lonely, and ik it isnt supposed to be a factor in that, but it does feel like being aromantic plays a role in this whole mess for me rn. And i hate that.

If you read to the end of this, ty and I greatly appreciate you :) 💛

#quesadilla post #sty rambles #vent #vent post #aro #aromantic #aromantism #heartstopper #heartstopper netflix #hesrtstopper season 2

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thegeminisage · 2 years

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tlou tv show thots (under a cut for spoilers):

GOOD: sarah opening section 11/10. absolutely brutal to put things in her pov for an extended section and then have her be the one who died. i thought you know ive seen this a zillion times it wont get me! but it got me. also like. the rising dread with the coughing and people showing symptoms because you know and she doesn't?? ooouuggghhhh

GOOD: tommy hot. sorry it must be said

GOOD: the thing with the blurry old lady scared the shit out of me. i got like horror movie scared

BAD: don't like the tendrils. apparently they are using these instead of spores and there's no biting off chunks of people anymore. they look like vampires drinking blood. really loses something imo

BAD: again, i was constantly anxious about no gas masks. AIRBORNE PANDEMIC AND NO MASKS? you all deserve to get eaten by zombies

GOOD: the 60s show set at the beginning. when they said that thing about the earth getting warmer CAUSING IT i nearly spat out my dinner. like legit screamed. that was the scariest part of the whole show. some jerkoff in 68 going well what if for some weird reason the earth became warmer? then cordyceps could be real. FUCK YOOOUUU

BAD: the exposition. it wasn't like. THAT bad but it got a little annoying. especially when the characters pointedly called each other by name to introduce each other lol. be more subtle

BAD: some of the edginess was a little over-the-top. why a plane crash instead of a car crash? why the big production about the public execution? you don't need big shit like that to shock audiences. tlou is a thing built on subtlety. let it breathe

MIXED: i wish tess had gotten to shoot robert bc that's so cool and fun and sexy of her but i understood why they sped through it. he truly is just the tutorial

MIXED: joel looking for tommy??? i feel like this really glosses over the "this ain't boston lay your hands on me again and i'll fuck you up" thing. why is tommy even still hanging out with him. it's good shorthand for the whole thing with the car battery i GUESS but like :/

GOOD: ellie and joel are both perfectly cast. ellie's potty mouth and joel's gruffness are both perfect. also i LOOOVE that marlene's VA gets to play her irl too i love when they do that shit. she is so beautiful as well it must be said

GOOD: radio smuggler's code. i love how quick ellie figured it out and i loved ending on funky 80s music. was not expecting that at ALL

BAD: ik a tv show can't throw you directly into the action the way a game would, but some of the pacing felt absolutely GLACIAL. i feel like what they were doing was worldbuilding maybe but then why rush through the robert section? even the sarah section was just the teensiest tiniest bit too long. this was an hour and 20 minutes. let's trim some of this down, people!!

GOOD: marlene like you don't have a fuckin ear on your fuckin head kim. so true she literally doesn't. i feel like tlou the game relies on ellie for most of its comic relief and since she wasn't in most of the episode they had to find it in other ways but they did and thats good

BAD: ellie wasn't in most of the ep??

GOOD: they had my tilted building which i love sooo much. i hope they go in it next week

anyway don't let this post fool you while i did have a few notes i mostly had a great time. ABSOLUTELY relieved let me tell you

#personal #tlou spoilers #do i have a tlou blogging tags...#whatever i guess i do now #tlou blogging

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crows-with-kiwis · 2 years

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okay tumblr im back after avoiding this place after hearing the new toh was leaked to avoid any spoilers so. how are u guys. also updates

dagger probably wont happen because of so many snow days and cancelations at school so theres only enough time to finish our current stained glass project before the semester ends

im going into a fun undiagnosed episode having to do with my disintegrating mental health so I'll probably dissapear once again from most socials, maybe not twitter tho so follow that if u wanna see me scream about shit (same username as here) i just recently screamrd about the literal play im writing and so much chainsaw man so go to twt if u wanna see that chaos

good update: im getting therapy soon. and im actually doing a teeny tiny bit better schoolwork wise and im reminding u that it's okay to struggle with that stuff

especially if your mental health is bad. focus as much as you can on your mental health before anything else, its difficult with finals now but ik u can do it💖

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simpjaes · 6 months

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ok u probably wont post this bcs it contains spoilers but i just wanna scream about ootdg!!!,!! U WROTE IT SO WELL u have outdone urself yet again simpjaes and im just so happy you exist in this world so i can read works like yours For Free (let me give you a kiss)

can i just say i fell in love with how you wrote everyone especially sunghoon and jungwon! sunghoon so honest and pliant to the love of his life would do anything everything for her *screams to my pillow* and God especially jungwon. I know jungwon isnt meant to be romantic in this fic but god the way they started flirty then progressed to being ride or die soulmates like I FEEL LIKE if she asked jungwon to be their third he would do it in a heartbeat even if it meant dealing with a seething sunghoon (and jay lol) im jus so glad with the fic cuz a lot of fics end in the other staying human and ik theres beauty in watching your loved one grow old I JUST THINK I WANT A BELLA SWAN ENDING SOMETIMES u did just that so perfectly i love you! -🖤

OOTDG SPOILERS:

i think everyone who wanted to read it has probs already read it by now so I'm not gonna worry too much about spoiler asks anymore! I WANNA TALK ABOUT MY FIC, LETS GO.

sunghoon was definitely obsessed from the moment he smelled reader come into the city for fucking reaaaaaaaal. he tried to play it cool and everything, but man, he wanted to be what she wanted and needed and intentionally released his lure just to make sure he's not forcing her ;-; i love vampy hoon, fr, he got so soft for her.

as for jungwon, i could talk about this character for ages. but yeah, in my head when i started writing jungwon, he was meant to be a semi-love interest who is entirely bisexual. which obv happened, considering i peppered the story with jay too...huh.......wonder what would've happened if sunghoon never cared for reader and it was just jaywon and reader..........brain is mush........ANYWAY, jungwon is 100% meant to be reader's platonic soulmate. one where, unlike with romantic relationships, there is no jealousy, clinging is wanted, you can talk about anything and everything, and the feelings run so fucking deep that pretty much nothing can sever them. honestly, they're meant to be life long partners in one way or the other and they'd find each other in ever universe.

it's canon that jungwon will get turned at some point by reader, because she can't bare to let him die in any other way [much like sunghoon for her].

that being said, i do not think sunghoon in this fic would find any type of beauty in watching reader grow old. he doesn't want to see her in pain, or frail, or anything like that. at current times in the fic, she's in her prime, she's confident, she loves the world around her. if he had watched her die, i genuinely think sunghoon would have managed to kill himself off too. plus, not to mention, it's not always promised that people will die of old age and this is what really pushes sunghoon. he doesn't want to never be able to hold her again because of a freak accident, or some other death she could face.

so, why not do it himself? again, she dies only to live forever, and again, reader loves being alive so ofc she was like "HEELLLLL YEAH!!!"

#ask #anon #ily thank u for letting me yap <3<3<3 #fic talk #ootdg

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the-sanders-sides · 3 years

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(wtit spoiler warning)

unpopular opinion, but im not really a big fan of the idea of the orange side being wrath or anger. while similar to inside out, the sides arent really emotions; rather, they are your different conflicting thought processes when you work through a problem. you have the side of you that is logical and knows the facts and tries to use reason to solve things, the side of you that focuses on your morals and tries to use steadfast loyalty to your values to solve problems. there is the side that is anxious and tries to use to make use of fear to protect u and solve the problem.

there are the sides of you that are creative that think of fantastical solutions to your problems, whether good or bad, that try to take you to your dreams and desires. with roman, this is with disney-esque tales and hopes that keep thomas going and having a reason to things. with Remus, I think it may be using the intrusive thoughts to get Thomas to slow down when thomas is overwhelmed and wants to rest, which makes sense bc, at least with me, ik when I have an uptick of intrusive thoughts, it usually means i need to rest and relax so I'll be less overwhelmed and take care of myself.

and there is the side that is deceitful and cunning and mean and self-centered as a means towards approaching your problems with your self-preservation as the primary thing to uphold. unlike morals which may tell you to share what you have, this deceitful side of you acts selfishlessly to make sure that you are put first, no matter the cost. which is why I think any anger or wrath would come from Janus. anger as an emotion is often an expression of self-preservation. you feel anger when you know you've been hurt and you lash out in anger to protect yourself. janus has lashed out a fair amount for the small amount of episodes he's been in.

by now, it's also fairly agreed upon that Janus and patton are opposites/counters as well as roman and remus. with both pairings, it's seen that you need a healthy balance between those two sides, those two lines of thought, to not completely fall apart.

i am a firm believer that anxiety is the counter or parallel or opposite of logic. your logical thought processes get so messed up when you're anxious and scared, and logical thinking is often used as a tool to combat anxiety. this was explored between Virgil and Logan very early in the series. virgils anxiety causes cognitive distortions that weaken logans logical processes in being listened to. logans logical thoughts are able to tame Virgil's anxiety when it's too strong. i think Logan and Virgil balance each other out. those are the two who make a healthy balance together which has been discusses, albeit briefly, early on (remember the Yerkes Dodson curve?).

this is why I think that whatever the orange side, the seventh side, is, it won't be a counter to anyone in specific, and it won't be wrath/anger. right now, orange is showing up when Logan is weakened in someway. when janus kidnaps him in svs redux, orange only shows up after that. when Remus messes with Logan in today's wtit and logan is frustrated and out of it, only then did orange come through. we don't know if orange can control other sides as well, but if it's like janus at all, where janus tries to remove logan and his rationality from the problem solving, there's a reason it would focus on messing with logic & rationality to achieve it's goal of however it helps thomas.

because remember, all the sides do what they think is best for thomas. the sides are the manifestations of his different thought processes driven by different outlooks that all have an end goal of trying to solve thomas's problem in that way. but in the end, it is always up to thomas to choose which thought pattern he'll listen to. thomas chooses what he will do based on the persuasiveness of his different thought processes.

(for example, c!thomas comes across a wallet on the sidewalk. morally, he thinks the wallet should be turned in to the local authorities at all costs no matter what. his self preservation instincts tell him to take the cash and leave the wallet behind since the detour would waste his time. his anxiety tells him to leave it alone so he wont get framed for stealing. good creativity/roman would make him imagine a grand heroic prize for tracking down the owner of the wallet and personally delivering it, and bad creativity/remus might make c!thomas imagine finding and killing the wallets owner so he can take all the money. logical thought would say for c!thomas to return the wallet to local authorities if he has the time to do so, and if not, to leave it be. these are all just the different thoughts running through c!thomas's head which can then be personified as sides, and whichever action he does is attributed to the side who had the most persuasive line of thought, but none of these lines of thought are trying to hurt thomas, it's all different ways of protecting/helping him.)

so whatever orange is, needs logic and rationality to be a bit disrupted before being able to be persuasive enough to be listened to. this doesnt really seem like anger/wrath to me. someone can be rational and angry (ie. planning a revenge later rather than hurting someone now, passive aggression, etc.) which all feels more like Janus things to me, and I think you actually need to be rational to use your anger effectively. going ham on someone without thought will not have the same effect as thinking about the best places to hit without them getting you back. anger and logic don't need to keep each other in check like deceit and morality or logic and anxiety; rather, they need to work together. i dont think logan would be opposed to a side that represented anger at all. and orange would not destabilize logan so much if it were anger.

plus, Virgil is the only side that really represents an emotion. but I think people generally always have a sense of anxiety and fear in their problem solving, but anger/wrath isn't always there. for a quick issue like a lost wallet, i can see how these other sides of thought processes can exist, but i dont know what anger would tell Thomas to do there since anger is just an emotion.

so the question is, what is a thought pattern that exists when solving problems that tries to protect/help you, while also needing to push away or overpower your sense of logic & rationality to be persuasive enough to be listened to? I don't have the answer to this but I'd love to hear what other people think about this! especially if u see flaws in my reasoning of why orange isn't anger, I'd love to know!

#im not sure how coherent this is but i tried my best!#sanders sides #working through intrusive thoughts #orange side #logan sanders #remus sanders #mine #my writing #meta #ts meta #orange side theory #sanders sides meta

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cassyapper · 4 years

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jotaro kujo song analysis: “eight” by sleeping at last

i could not figure out what the fuck to title this for a long time. please forgive me ik it’s awkward but it’s the best i got

anyway the song “eight” by sleeping at last made me mentally ill so let’s get into why <3

here’s a link to the song: https://youtu.be/obi4KCh6eHQ

here’s a link to the lyrics i referenced: https://genius.com/Sleeping-at-last-eight-lyrics

be warned there are part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6 spoilers in this

with that let’s begin.

“I remember the minute;/it was like a switch was flipped --/i was just a kid who grew up strong enough/to pick this armor up,/and suddenly it fit” Lengthy first line to start this on i know but cutting it up didn’t make sense so please forgive me… Alright let’s get to the meat of this hm? This line is about when jotaro first manifested star platinum. “I remember the minute, it was like a switch was flipped” fits perfectly with how suddenly and obviously star platinum became known to its user, as jotaro first manifests it when he’s in the middle of a fight, a fight star platinum ends very quickly and brutally. The “i was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up” is about jotaro having the willpower to control a stand such as star platinum and not get ill over it. He “grew up strong enough to pick this armor up”, this armor being star platinum (which, yes, star platinum is armor more than a weapon because its strength is used to protect. This is stated explicitly in the jin hashimoto song “star platinum” which was written specifically with jotaro/star platinum in mind, as the title suggests). It also shows how young jotaro was re the “kid” description; he was only 17, the youngest jojo up to that point. the “and suddenly it fit” also mixes with how suddenly star platinum manifested, particularly how jotaro gained passable control over it very quickly

“God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…/I was little, I was weak, I was perfectly naive,/and I grew up too quick.” Another long line im sorry it just doesnt make sense to cut it up 😭 Anyway this is part 6 jotaro reflecting on his past self, PARTICULARLY part 3 jotaro, which explains the “god, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…” segment “I was little, i was weak, i was perfectly naive” is kinda gold coming from part 6 jotaro cause end of part 3 jotaro is canonically when he’s at his strongest but i dont think part 6 jotaro is talking about star platinum in this line. He’s talking about jotaro being tactless and rude and pushing away his loved aways in a disillusioned attempt to keep them safe. By part 6, jotaro has to have known his coping mechanism of self-imposed isolation wasnt fair to his loved ones/himself and it clearly didnt WORK as evidenced by jolyne’s situation, so he’s cursing his younger self for it here. Hence, the calling of part 3 jotaro “little, weak, perfectly naive.” part 3 jotaro starts making the bed that part 6 jotaro ends up having to lay in and he hates him for it. The “and I grew up too quick” part is jotaro acknowledging his trauma. Even before part 3 started jotaro clearly had issues and they just kept building and building and building from part 3 and on. Combined with his self-imposed isolation, jotaro had to grow up quick to survive, and this line is part 6 jotaro reflecting on that

“Now you won’t see all that i have to lose,/all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it.” Remember the self-imposed isolation i mentioned in the last line? This line is about why jotaro does that. He hates being vulnerable. He hates relying on others. We only see him comfortable trusting others to take care of things ONCE the entire series, during the steely dan arc, when he believes in kakyoin’s abilities to keep joseph safe and get the lovers out of him safely. ONCE out of the four parts he’s featured in, out of the three he’s prominent in. jotaro does this, as i previously mentioned, out of a disillusioned attempt to keep those he loves safe, hence the “now you won’t see all that i have to lose” line. This behavior is solidified in jotaro at the end of stardust crusaders, when the two final times he tried to trust that others would handle it resulted in the deaths of over of half those he cared the most about (he may have gotten joseph back, but don’t forget that joseph did actually die). Thus, this decisive night ties into the “all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” line. He’s lost loved ones but he won’t lose them again, not in the same way at least. Ironically, the self-imposed isolation only puts his loved ones and himself in danger, but i can get into that later.

“I won’t let you in, i swore never again --/i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” This line kinda ties back with what i was mentioning in the last line, but it hones it a bit more on jotaro’s complete denial of being vulnerable rather than how he acts to ensure he isnt such. “I wont let you in, i swore never again” is a direct tie-in for how jotaro feels after stardust crusaders; he is never going to get as close to anyone or anything the way he was close to the crusaders ever again. Nothing is ever going to matter to him the same way and he is going to make sure of that, as the “swore never again” implies, because he is certain, at least at first, that this will keep others safe. The “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” part goes into how selfish and arrogant jotaro’s mentality is. Don’t get me wrong, jotaro’s self-imposed isolation can be seen as selfless, especially because the main driving force behind it is to keep others safe -- but it’s not the only force driving it. Like i said, jotaro doesn’t want to be vulnerable, and to be sure he doesnt feel that way, he needs to ensure he won’t be hurt. Can’t be sad when people die if you were never close to them, right? So as much as it is to protect others, he also is protecting himself by closing off from others. It’s also arrogant of jotaro to assume he is the deciding factor of who lives and dies, that he gets to choose/manipulate the cycle of life and death by deciding on if he opens up to others. Jotaro had this mentality of being a “deciding factor” shoved into his head during the journey to egypt, and that kinda warps his worldview as a result; everything must be his fault. Things go bad surely because he let them somehow. And it’s not jotaro’s fault he’s ill in the head like this but it is still arrogant, and the “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” line attests to this.

“I want to break these bones until theyre better/i want to break them right and feel alive” Oh jotaro you have the shittiest fuckign coping mechanisms Alright. “I want to break these bones until theyre better” ties into jotaro throwing himself into dangerous situations alone. He’s just so so damn convinced he can handle everything himself -- bc again, he is led to believe he is the deciding factor of life and death -- he just has to try. If things go wrong, it’s bc he didn’t try hard enough, hence the “break these bones until theyre better”; jotaro will hurt himself and will be convinced he deserved it until he “learns” how to be perfect like he’s “supposed” to be. But being perfect isnt something you can learn, you mentally ill motherfucker jotaro. anyway “I want to break them right and feel alive” ties into the fact jotaro would rather break his body over and over and over rather than tell his loved ones he cares. The only right way to be hurt to him is taking a hit that was meant for those he loves. Jotaro is very much a man of action rather than a man of word, and this line is about his rather unique way of acting (that is, getting beat the fuck up over and over) Basically jotaro can’t tell the people he loves that he, well, loves them, unless he is literally dying. Examples of what i mean: jotaro preferred going on a perilous, 50-day journey to just telling holly he loved her; jotaro preferred getting beat over the head with a rock in the lovers arc rather than risk hurting joseph; jotaro preferred to literally get blown up by sheer heart attack rather than tell koichi to his face he is a good kid; jotaro stepped knowingly into a trap for jolyne and had to literally believe he was in fact saying his last words before he uttered “i’ve always cherished you.”

“You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong --/my healing needed more than time” Oh my GODDDddDDDdcdd im sobbing as i type jotaro your head is so so damn ill Okay so i see him spitting this line towards joseph. Let me explain Joseph would no doubt pick up on jotaro’s ptsd and he’ll do his best to console jotaro over the deaths of their friends. But see joseph is ALSO an ill in the head idiot whose idea of therapy is electroshock and who calls ptsd “shell shock”. So all he can offer to jotaro is “youll feel better in time” because that was kinda true for him; he managed to move on in time. What joseph fails to realize is what made him feel better was not time, but the support of those remaining in his life (lisa lisa, suziq, erina, smokey). But jotaro listens and tries to give it time but the thing with jotaro is he just gets worse and worse as time wears on because he deliberately cut himself off from anyone who could console him (as well as got continually traumatized throughout his life), so time never helped but actually made things worse. Thus jotaro spitting “you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong, my healing needed more than time”. In terms of timeline, probably happens right after part 5 jotaro stares longingly at the crusaders picture

“When i see fragile things, helpless things, broken things/i see the familiar” Im sorry every new line i start to analyze i begin crying so im just letting you all know incase the coherency takes a dip (as if this was coherent in the first place lmfao) Anyway so this line in relation to Jotaro is about how he projects HARD on the new generation. We see this w his interactions w josuke and koichi, the “fragile things” (there is no way he didnt see koichi as a filler for kakyoin im sorry. Also he just wants josuke safe with his friends like how he wished he was safe with his own friends as a teenager), how he was wary of giorno, “the helpless things” (jotaro is scared he’ll be similar to his dad, just like jotaro is similar enough to dio to share the same stand power…), and his interactions w jolyne, “the broken things” (angry teen in a prison? Come now).

“I was little, i was weak, i was perfect too/now i’m a broken mirror” Throwback to the second line. Once again part 6 jotaro is reflecting but the difference here is that part 3 was when jotaro was last unashamedly happy, but more than that, part 3 jotaro was on his way to healing before everything went to shit. like i mentioned earlier, jotaro only relies on someone else completely once, and that happens in part 3. Jotaro is finally able to trust in someone else’s capabilities, which is what he needed to do before he could allow anyone to help him with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Hence, why part 6 jotaro would describe him as “perfect”; because he would’ve been perfect enough if he could just trust in others like that again But as the line suggests, that went wrong. Jotaro is now a “broken mirror,” which alludes to the fact that while he projects onto the kids, the kids (the ones that know him at least) project onto him as well, especially jolyne, because in part 6 she finally figures out her dad’s thought processes, as she is experiencing those patterns of thinking too. Jotaro is a role model for them in the sense of “see him? Do the opposite of what he did” KJ;DNJ;DN;SN

“But i can’t let you see all that i have to lose/all that i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” Same meaning as before mostly but the repetition is important me thinks because it mimics jotaro like frantically trying to remind himself why he must be distant when all he wanted to do was go home to jolyne and be her father

“I can’t let you in --/ i swore never again,/ i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” This means roughly the same thing as the previous line that’s similar to this, but the “i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” is less about jotaro’s selfishness/arrogance and more about how he believes enemies will use his loved ones against him and how goddamn, it would work, it would work so well because jotaro loves so, so damn much It’s a shame distancing himself didn’t work the way he wanted it to and ended up making his loved ones even more vulnerable than they would have been otherwise

“I’m standing guard,/i’m falling apart/and all i want to do is to trust you” (Begins screaming and doesn’t stop) okay so this line is about jotaro and jolyne during the beginning of stone ocean “Im standing guard” alludes to the fact that jotaro is still desperately trying to appear distant and uninterested even as he attempts to break his fucking daughter out of prison “I’m falling apart” ties into jotaro failing miserably at remaining cold towards jolyne, how he eventually caves in and tells her he loves her in addition to taking a literal bullet for her, using time stop to ensure he can make it to her to do so. and also this line ties into how he is literally physically shot and how his memories and stand are taken from him “And all i want to do is to trust you” is directed towards jolyne of course. God his whole “i’ve always cherished you” ties in with this line; like i mentioned earlier, jotaro by part 6 knows his self-imposed isolation is useless, but old habits die hard and also he was in very deep by the time he accepted there was no reason to go in the first place at all. So he doesn’t know how to change, he doesn’t know how to trust jolyne, it’d been 20ish years since he last trusted someone completely, but god he wants to. He wants to trust her. It’s all he wants to do hence this line

“Show me how to lay my sword down/for long enough to let you through” So continuing from the last line, jotaro just wants to let jolyne in. he wants to learn how to do that. I think this line is actually directed towards his younger self; 17 year old jotaro managed to let in a person once, after all (more than one person in fact, but all the crusaders). This would also make more sense w my interpretation of how part 6 jotaro calls part 3 jotaro “perfect” in this regard Essentially it’s jotaro thumbing through his memories to figure out how his past self gathered the security to trust in someone else wholeheartedly...which makes the fact that pucci steals his memories particularly fucked up in this context

“Here i am, pry me open/what do you want to know?” Another line directed toward jolyne. “Here i am, pry me open” refers to how after jotaro tells jolyne he cherishes her, all cards are on the table. He’s shown vulnerability, might as well go full throttle. So, he’s willing to talk to jolyne for the first time ever, especially because she’s a stand user now “What do you want to know?” ties into jotaro being willing to open up, but also the fact that jolyne doesnt really know her dad ):

“I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough/to hold the door shut/and bury my innocence” Hhnghg begins wailing this line is again about post-egypt jotaro. A lot of jotaro’s like...emotional maturation (and even some physical) occurred during the trip to egypt and immediately afterward. he’s in pain and desperately trying to rationalize a way he can be in control of never letting something like what happened in egypt happen again, hence the “im just a kid who grew up scared enough” “To hold the door shut” refers to how jotaro cut off other people, even the people who used to know him very well, like joseph and polnareff and holly “And bury my innocence” i mentioned this in another line but this bit also refers to how jotaro had to grow up quickly to survive, considering his self-imposed isolation and his life path of chasing down dio’s remnants

“But here’s a map, here’s a shovel/here’s my Achilles’ heel” This line is SUPPOSED to be directed toward jolyne but inadvertently it is also directed toward pucci. When jotaro says fuck it and gives up on his pretense of disinterest in jolyne, finally letting her know he loves her, he’s finally building the frame of a bridge to jolyne; he’s ready to do what he’s wanted to for so long, no matter how vulnerable it makes him, and that is to be jolyne’s father. However, pucci takes note of this; he knows to aim for jolyne in the final battle because of jotaro’s earlier actions when he tries breaking jolyne out of prison. It really is a shame how the narrative keeps fucking enforcing jotaro’s shitty self-imposed isolation

“I’m all in, palms out, i’m at your mercy now and i’m ready to begin/i am strong, i am strong, i am strong enough to let you in” Hmm i imagine this line being when jotaro meets back up with jolyne after he gets his memory disk back. The first thing he does is hug her and cradle her close to him, showing off to the world, right in front of pucci, how much his daughter means to him. But jotaro, at least for the moment, is not scared to be vulnerable anymore. Ever since he decided to give up his cold facade, he was ready to let jolyne in, and he finally has the chance to do that at least a little right before the final battle, which is what this line is about

“I’ll shake the ground with all my might/i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” Final battle in stone ocean,,, What the “i’ll shake the ground will all my might” line refers to is jotaro’s willingness to use star platinum the world during the battle. He’s ready to go all in to save the world, and most importantly, save jolyne, even if he has to use the source of his greatest trauma to do it. Jotaro’s a key player and he knows it, has known it for a long time, and this time he’s going to use that for his happy ending. And well, as i mentioned in the last line, jotaro’s done with the self-isolation and throws himself into the role of jolyne’s father, at least as much as he has the right to throw himself into. This is mostly what the “i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” line refers to

“For the innocent, for the vulnerable/i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” More stone ocean final battle. The “innocent and vulnerable” jotaro is showing up for are jolyne, namely, but also hermes and emporio, and beyond that, the world. Jotaro understands how serious this is and he’s always been a force meant for protection, so he is here to do just that, which is what the “i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” line refers to. Jotaro doesnt believe he’s a good person -- and he might not be, in the grand scheme of things -- but he does fight for what he believes is right, he always has, he mentions this way back in stardust crusaders during his fight with kakyoin. He’s never going to let injustice stand, especially not when he knows he’s such a key player

“And i’ll give all i have, i’ll give my blood, give my sweat --/an ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” This line actually applies to all the “final battles” jotaro has been involved in; part 3, part 4, and part 6. Jotaro, as i mentioned in the last line, has a strong sense of justice and is a force that first and foremost tries to protect, which the “i’ll give all i have, i’’l give my blood, give my sweat” part of this line refers to. Jotaro gives his all, has given his all, to rid the world of dio’s influence, he ruined his entire fucking life to do so, and this line gives credence to that. “An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” refers to jotaro mourning all the what-ifs in his life, which are all tied with how the outcomes of these final battles go. If part 3 didnt end the way it did, jotaro would know how to trust still, he wouldve been happy even, maybe he wouldnt have had to sacrifice the rest of his life to dio; if part 4 didn’t end the way it did, maybe jotaro couldve gone home to his daughter, maybe he couldve been a bit of a better dad (this is because kids were involved in part 4 even if they didn’t try to because stand users attract stand users, and jotaro couldnt risk doing that to his daughter, so he ends up never coming home); and now for part 6, jotaro hopes that if it ends just a little better than the previous two, jotaro could at least died a satisfying death of sacrificing himself for jolyne, or maybe even got a chance to try mending his relationship with jolyne if they both survive

“I’m shattered porcelain, glued back together again” So this line speaks to both physical and emotional states Jotaro was physically “shattered porcelain” when he lost his stand and memory and also was shot, and he was “glued back together again” when he got medical attention and jolyne got back his disks Jotaro was emotionally “shattered porcelain” due to the fact he couldnt trust anyone completely since he was 17 goddamn years old but he’s “glued back together again” in the sense he’s ready to finally, finally try and be vulnerable in order to save his relationship with jolyne

“Invincible like i’ve never been” This line hurts so fucking much because i believe jotaro was optimistic, all things considered, at the beginning of the final fight in stone ocean. After all, he knows he’s an important figure in all this, he has his stand disk and memories back, he and jolyne and the others have a plan, and he has a future he wants to fight for in addition to the world’s continued functioning So he feels “invincible” like he’s never felt before because not even during the part 3 final battle with dio did he have the hope for the future he has now. But then. Then pucci brings out the knives. And the man who could control time never had enough in the end. He dies and cant even save jolyne with his death. The world ends. He failed. I think this is perfectly represented with how suddenly the song ends. It just perfectly encapsulates the tragedy that is jotaro kujo and i cant stop fucking thinking about it

thanks for reading all this if you did. jotaro kujo makes me feel mentally ill

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caliwashere · 3 years

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TGKDN Ch 19-20 Thoughts & Spoilers

author publishing two chapters at once is the best thing to wake up to

context: TGKDN is a jjkxoc (additional add-ons: dad!gojoxoc, yutaxoc, megumixoc) fic called Tsuki Ga Kirei Desu Ne. It’s linked in my bio in case anyone wants to read it. I don’t own TGKDN or take credit for the story/OCs! I’m just a fan!

spoilers below ⬇️

-author added a lot of new content for the “It May Be Last” chapter wow

-the demon slayer references to douma, inosuke, and his mom thooo kinda ironic that douma’s the one out here calling ppl demons

-when going on a trip with a homie turns into getting tortured by a janky cult

-megumi’s in the closet 👀 (lmao im sorry it was right there)

- not both fushiguros (megs and toji) being traumatized by a gojo (gojo and hiyori (ik shes adopted but she’s technically legally a gojo cuz gojo is her legal guardian) in diff ways

-just a question: can’t hiyori just use her innate curse nullification ability to get tsumiki out of her coma or is that not how it works?

-yuta not being good at making jokes is canon both in tgkdn and jjk (that joke about gojo having a gf lmaoooo)

-MAN NEEDS TO TELL HER HE LIKES HER SOON BECAUSE I CAN’T STAND THIS ANYMORE

- i want couple yuta and hiyori content plzzzz one of them needs to just confess 😭

- ok ok this is just my theory but the flashback words that stopped hiyori from fighting were definitely said by KAZUHA cuz i can’t think of anyone else who could’ve (maybe Hiyori’s sister but like if u do then math then Asami disappeared when Hiyori was like 5(?) so I don’t think Hiyori would remember something like that)

-it also said “dying wish” AND WHO DO WE KNOW THAT’S DEAD?! EXACTLY!

-so maybe kazuha was like hiyori’s moral compass or he still is and that’s why she hasn’t killed anyone like she only beat the cursed user in Ch. 6 (”best friends”) into a coma

-i think it’s interesting that instead of hiyori just being against killing, it’s actually something preventing her from doing so

- i can’t wait to see how this “promise” to not kill turns out as the story progresses especially in later jjk manga arcs

-she’s probably gonna snap eventually and end up breaking that promise or something cuz we’ve already seen her lose her cool (aka in Ch. 6 with the ribbon + cursed user guy) and when the higher-ups/Kyoto students targeted Yuta

- i think someone she cares about a lot will get super hurt/die and that might push her off the deep end and make her relinquish the whole no killing thing (there’s a lot of ppl to choose from considering what goes down during the shibuya arc)

-at least that creepy cult guy (douma-knockoff) died

- angry/protective dad gojo makes me feel things but like his adoptive daughter is hotter (sorry not sorry) feral hiyori is just *chef’s kiss*

-asofnaisof feral gojo and hiyori together?? that would be amazing ( i wanna see them work together in a fight aifnasofa)

- i also wanna see her work with maki in a fight like they fight together AND her with yuta (maybe a mission together??)

- geto killing the non-sorcs because they hurt hiyori even tho they were brainwashed is peak writing by author because that’s 100% something jjk canon geto would do after he went off the deep end

- the “we know who you pretend we are” by the two girls geto took in hit me in the feels man

- i need more young gojo and geto with hiyori content (one chapter wasnt enough author plzzzz)

- geto’s perspective rlly highlights just how hard it was for him to end up choosing the path he did and it also makes me cry

- the realization that hiyori will probably never get the closure she needs with geto like they wont ever get to talk it out (even gojo gotto during that kfc break up) hurts me

-its almost time for the death parade arc yall 😭

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sunshine-stars · 4 years

Text

I probably won’t end up writing this but I’m having so much fun with the jatp six of crows au so:

SPOILERS FOR SIX OF CROWS AND CROOKED KINGDOM

Reggie is Nina

They’re both bi

Love food so much

Wear red

I wanna see him with heart render powers but hate having to use them cuz his parents always fought and used them against each other ouch

I can’t describe it but it just FITS

Dates Matthias (WHO WONT DIE IN THIS CUZ I LOVE HIM)

Willie is Jesper

Adhd

I would love to see him with Jesper’s cocky attitude

The guns omg

Gay

I can see him having trouble with gambling cuz he always think that this time he’ll get it right

(OMG THERES A MUSIC VIDEO ON YOUTUBE WHERE THAT LINE IS ABOUT JESPER AND ITS AMAZING HERE)

Suppressing his powers - prolly doesn’t realize he’s a powerful ghost in jatp and doesn’t realize he’s a Fabrikator

And it just fits that his mom died when he was young and he has a dad he always feel like he’s disappointing ouch

Hopelessly in love with Wylan

Alex is Wylan

Blonde lol

Gay

Idk if he’ll have dyslexia simply cuz I don’t and I don’t want to represent it wrong so I’ll either not include it or do tons of research about it

Realistically I could write him with a stutter instead cuz I have one but idk

Dad doesn’t accept him because he’s gay and maybe dyslexia and treats him like he’s stupid and worthless ouch

It just kinda seems like Alex would’ve had a rich snobby family

I project onto both of these characters

Dating Jesper

Or wait maybe Alex should be Matthias idk I’m just brainstorming rn

Ofc he’d still have anxiety and he’d just make a lot more sarcastic comments than does in the books

THE BANTER BETWEEN HIM AND WILLIE

Julie is Inej

BADASS SPY JULIE OMG

Also tell me Inej isn’t a lil bit gay cuz her and Nina obviously flirted in the books

And Julie’s bi so it fits

She seems like she’d be the most religious out of all of them

Cuz cross and stuff and just imagine Julie praying to the saints after her mother died and just ouch

After losing her mom she walked away to the next town and got kidnapped and ouch

But in this they find her in Fijerda and are just so amazing

Imagine her saying “I will have you without armour, or I won’t have you at all” to Luke

Dates Luke

Luke is Kaz

Ik this seems weird but hear me out

Ran away with older brother cuz parents didn’t accept his love for music and other reasons

Why am I making everyone run away in this omg oh well

Then older brother dies ouch

So Luke completely turns to music and closes himself to get by and joins the Dregs and ends up at the top

But he’s less closed off and scary as Kaz cuz I just can’t see that but still a bit less Luke like

I feel like Luke would actually be scary smart but the impulsiveness and puppy dog ness just gets in the way so people don’t realize that

Dates Kaz

Bobby is Matthias

Gremlin done with your shit energy

I can see him with backwards ideals in Fijerda and coming to Kerch and just being like what everything I learned is wrong???

DOESNT DIE IN THIS

I don’t have a lot of strong reasons for this but I can feel it

Dates Nina

Carrie

Matthias’ sister

Goes to Kerch with him

Same everything I learned is wrong???? But has a harder time accepting it

Insecurities

Enemies to lovers Flarrie

Flynn

Went on a walk with Julie and got captured with her ouch

But they stayed together the whole time

Just awesome dynamic with Julie

Enemies to lovers Flarrie

Anddddd more plot stuff

It’d be more lighthearted than six of crows but more heavy than jatp

Ya know how the original crew was Kaz Inej and Jesper

Instead it’ll be Kaz/Luke, Wylan/Alex, Nina/Reggie, Matthias/Bobby, and some Carrie

Kaz is the same

Wylan/Alex runs away/gets kicked out a lot sooner and Kaz recruits him sooner

Nina/Reggie is the same but a bit more with them than at the start of six of crows

Matthias/Bobby and Carrie get freed by Kaz a lot sooner

Matthias/Bobby and Nina/Reggie HATE each other and can’t stand to be around each other but eventually fall in love

Matthias/Bobby is constantly annoyed with all of them but needs them to survive but secretly is fond of them

Carrie joins in sometimes

Inej/Julie and Flynn come in a lot later and Kaz/Luke saves them before they go to the brothel

Jesper/Willie goes to Kerch a bit later and Wylan/Alex recruits him instead of the other way around

They obviously do the heist

And they have a lil band

ALEX/WYLAN PLAYS DRUMS AND FLUTE

Wow I got carried away with this

Any feedback is really appreciated!!!! Feel free to make suggestions or whatever!!!

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #six of crows #soc #fanfic idea

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