#ikigai room

[0vereasy]

Life’s Creations and Love’s Manifestations - Dr. Ratio x Female Reader- Chapter 3

Summary: Your promotion as one of the heads of the Security Department at Herta’s Station was full of many headaches, one of the biggest being a visiting scholar from the Intelligentsia Guild, and delegate of the IPC, Dr. Ratio.

When you were forced to team up with him to solve several crises emerging at the Station, how will your tense relationship change? And what exactly is the Doctor hiding?

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A/N: Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a fun New Year’s Eve - I spent mine in a way I think the reader would, drinking with friends. I’m officially back in Uni now, so updates will be slower (~1-3 updates a month) but my semester is lighter so I’m confident I’ll have the time to update. In other news, I officially finished pre-farming for Ratio! He’s gonna be the first character I max out traces for!

Chapter 3: Touch Deprival

“Question: Are you sure you are alright?” as usual, Screwllum’s voice was monotone and flat, sending no hints to reveal how he was feeling at the moment. Consequently, he had to express his feelings in other ways, rubbing your shoulders soothingly as you tinkered with the camera equipment in front of you, “Affirmation: it is your day off, you can easily save this task until tomorrow.”

You couldn’t have looked any more different from this morning, crop top and shorts now replaced with comfy sweatpants and a button-down white shirt which looked suspiciously similar to the one your robot companion wore under his suit jacket. Your back was pressed firmly against the front of his metallic body as you both sat on the floor in the Seclusion Zone in a room full of two things; plants and the little creatures that Ruan Mei abandoned after leaving the Space Station a few hours ago. A few of the little creatures hoped around freely, as if happy for the company, “Given all of this,” you gestured to the creatures around you, “we should’ve put cameras down here months ago,” you let yourself lean further back against your companion, savouring the feeling of his arms kneading your tense flesh, “might as well get it over with before someone else decides to run a fucked up experiment down here.”

He didn’t rebut the content of your statement itself, rather responding with a simple, “You did not answer my first question, dear,” his metallic hand trailed further down your back, massaging the space near your shoulder blade through the white shirt. You muffled a groan at the relief that shot through your body, a sign that had him continuing the motions with a firmer grip. You didn’t know how the robot managed to give the most amazing massages, but his hands were definitely missed whenever he was forced the leave the station. 

“I mean, as good as someone can be after almost dying a few hours ago, I guess,” your tone was neutral, your gaze and fingers focused on the security cameras in front of you, which you were attaching to camera mounds to place on the walls around the Seclusion Zone. You knew if you dared to look back at Screwllum, he would see through your words in an instant. His title as a genius wasn’t just for show after all, “I mean, it obviously was scary when it happened, but I can’t take up more of your time. Herta’s probably already out for my head after you left your meeting with her early.”

“Affirmation, I did not tell her the reason of my sudden departure,” he replied, one metallic hand drifting from your back to your face, tilting your head so that, even from in front of him, you two were forced to make eye contact, “It was hard not to abandon my work when you texted me to inform me you were using the bathtub in my room with no context,” he let his hand drift from your cheek to cup your chin, “I care about you, my dear. I don’t want you to push yourself.”

Ah, the bathtub. It was silly really, how someone like Screwllum, who couldn’t use a bathtub in the first place, had one in his quarters while you were stuck with a shitty shower with absolutely no water pressure. It just so happened that all the guest rooms in the Space Ship were equipt with bathtubs, and though Screwllum was a frequent visitor of the station, he had no official permanent quarters of his own, though, at this point, the Station staff just gave him the same room in the Space Station anyway, making that particular room his unofficial permanent quarters.

Of course, when you finished cleaning the incubator room in the Seclusion Zone, hands covered in smelly bug guts, you had abandoned your computer and water bottle in favour of taking the elevator to the floor housing the living quarters and used your FOB to unlock Screwllum’s room solely for the purpose of his bathtub. With your one-track mind on trying to get the smell of bug off of you, you had neglected to check your phone after sending Screwllum a text letting him know about your tub use, which ultimately led him to check on and fuss over you, a pattern of behaviour that was still ongoing now.

“And I appreciate your company, as always,” you flash him a smile, pushing the camera you were working on to the side so you could turn and face him, straddling your legs over his own. You pressed a brief kiss to his cheek before pushing your body against his own, sighing at the familiar feeling of his hands wrapping around you, “But you’ve been with me all afternoon; go take a few hours, finish your work,” you let your hands trail down his chest, shuddering at the cold feeling of his metallic frame below his suit, “I’ll be here when you’re done - remember, you still owe me dinner and drinks.”

“How could I forgot?” Screwllum chuckled as you pressed another kiss to his cheek, though he made no movement to leave. You both knew why; the answer hanging between the two of you, but remaining unspoken, as if you two were playing a game to see who could avoid bringing it up the longest. To avoid doing so, you snuggled yourself into his chest, inhaling the scent of his laundry detergent as he rubbed a cold hand up and down your back.

“Ahem,” Screwllum’s hand stopped moving at the sudden sound of another voice breaking the relative silence, albeit the irregular mewings of Ruan Mei’s cat-like creatures, in the room. You forced yourself to sit up, regretfully removing yourself from Screwllum’s arms to face the new presence in the room. “Sorry if I am… interrupting something,” as per usual, Dr. Ratio’s features were hidden by the alabaster head, leaving only his toned body on display to you and Screwllum, who exchanged looks as you moved to sit beside the robot.

“You are,” was your simple reply. You forced yourself to grab another security camera from the mess of items you had scatted on the floor around Screwllum and yourself, attaching it to the camera mound to control your anger at the Doctor’s presence, “You can go away now.”

“How rude, to think you would treat a delegate of the IPC like this,” he placed his hand to his chest in mock offence. You pictured his eyes rolling underneath the alabaster read to aid to the sarcasm radiating off of his body, “I expected more from you.”

Noticing your anger and lack of motivation to carry on the conversation, Screwllum allowed himself to speak, “I don’t believe we have been formally introduced,” he stood up, you frowning at him as he took a few steps forward, sticking a hand out to the Doctor, “I am Screwllum, number-”

“Number 76 of the Genius Society, ruler of Planet Screwllum, leader of the resistance against Rupert I,” Doctor Ratio rambled out the list of title, counting each on his fingers like a child may do when trying to solve a math problem, albeit the Doctor’s action was clearly mocking in nature, “Don’t patronize me, Mr. Screwllum. I work for the IPC, of course I am aware of your identity.” He huffed, removing the alabaster head to reveal his own features, hair slightly out of place due to the action. He looked unamused, crossing his arms with another dramatic huff.

“Affirmation; your tongue is as sharp as your looks, as I have heard, Doctor,” Screwllum’s tone was even, though he retracted his outreached hand, which had gone unanswered, plainly and obviously, making the tension in the air obvious.

You resisted the urge to groan in frustration, instead stating, “Why are you here, Mr. Ratio? I’m sure you have better things to do than lounge around in the Seclusion Zone all day,” you resisted the urge to smirk at him, “keep this up and I may just report you to your employer for time fraud - its not like you’re doing any work around here anyway.”

“You’re the one who told me to come here, remember?” he questioned, leaving your quip unanswered and raising an eyebrow. He sighed at the blank look at your face at his words, as if disappointed, “Pity, it was quite a dramatic comment, I would have suspected you to remember it. What was it again?” he put a hand to his chin as if in thought, though the mocking smile told you the words were already committed to his memory, “Ah, yes, ‘We are definitely having a chat about this later’ that it.”

“Yeah, later, as in not now,” you said drily, pointing to the army of cameras surrounding you, “I’m clearly busy.”

“I seem to recall that you entertained a conversation with me just fine earlier today when you were also busy,” he sighed dramatically, leaning against one of the tubes full of plants cultivated by Ruan Mei, “I suppose idiots truly can only multitask for so long during the day; pity, I truly enjoyed our conversations.”

You opened your mouth, a retort on the tip of your tongue, but were silenced when Screwllum spoke first, “I do not mean to interrupt,” he spoke, glancing between you and the Doctor curiously, “However, I do need to depart to a meeting,” he turned from the Doctor, walking to where you sat and placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder, “My dear, don’t you think allowing Mr. Ratio to accompany you may allow you to finish this task quicker? I’d hate for you to waste more time on this venture.”

Screwllum’s shining green eyes bore into yours, almost as if he was daring you to rebut him. You knew what he was playing at as he rubbed familiar, soothing circles into your flesh. It was another silent dare, for you to bring up what you knew was on both of your minds. Of course, you didn’t, an action you knew that your companion expected. Your eyes drifted briefly to the Doctor, who was watching you two curiously as if you were a math problem that he couldn’t quite solve. 

“Fine, fine,” you relented, putting your hands in the air in mock defeat, meeting the Doctor’s eye, “I’ll let you stay, only if you help me put up these cameras once they’re ready.” You hated the smug look on the Doctor’s face at your words as if he had emerged victorious from the exchange somehow, his hands moving from being crossed at his chest to instead resting on his hips like some sort of superhero. 

“Quite bold of you to ask a mere visitor to help you with such a menial task,” he started, though he walked towards you and Screwllum nonetheless, “However, if you insist, I suppose I can help. The Station will benefit from my adept hand, after all.”

“Ah, yes, I can already hear Lady Asta gasping in pleasure when she see’s your expert camera placement,” you rolled your eyes as you shoved another camera into its mound, earning a glare from the Doctor. Once again, Screwllum saved the day, breaking the silence before he could retort.

“With that settled, I will take my leave now,” he gave your shoulder a small squeeze, your eyes transfixed on the Doctor, whose eyes were equally as focused on the small act of intimacy, “Conclusion, I will see you later tonight, my dear.” He let his metallic hand remove itself from your shoulder after being sure to give it one last squeeze.

“Can’t wait!” you smiled at him, dragging your eyes away from the Doctor to watch your companion retreat, keeping your focus on his form until he was completely out of your sight, before you reluctantly dragged your eyes back to the Doctor. He stood a few feet away from you, as if unsure exactly where to go or what to do. You huffed at his reactions, “What, does a genius like yourself not know how to socially interact with people? Sit down already!”

“You must forgive me, the IPC doesn’t provide lessons on social etiquette regarding sitting on the floor,” he replied drily, awkwardly taking a seat next to you on the cold metal floor of the Space Station, his eyes looking over you as you continued your work with the cameras, “We sit in chairs, like civilized people. I do not understand your logic of working here.”

“Come on, Doc, live a little, sitting on the floor never killed anyone,” you shrugged, your voice light, but lacking the usual passion you preferred to give to your retorts. Too tired to really care, you ignored his gaze to continue your work, “Plus, it’s easier to work here anyway, saves me lugging cameras around later.”

“I must say, you lack your usual passion that you provide to our oh-so-delightful conversations” he scanned the immediate surroundings as if searching for something, “Is this what you’re like sober? I dare say you make a much more entertaining conversationalist when you are slightly tipsy.” It’s only then that you realized he held a bottle of wine in his hand, a brand you didn’t recognize, “Drink then, so we can speak like intellectuals.”

“Wow, aiding my alcoholism? You must be in a good mood,” you raised an eyebrow in suspicion, though you were quick the grab the opened bottle anyway, taking a few large gulps of the wine. It was a dry wine, definitely not your favourite, but it was strong, the red liquid burning your throat as you swallowed. 

“You could at least pour yourself a glass first,” the Doctor shot you a glare, grabbing the bottle to wipe away the stain of your lipgloss at the opening, “I’m beginning to suspect you have no concept of manners.”

“Do you see any glasses around here?” you retorted, both you and the Doctor looking around the room, the only signs of objects other than cameras or plants being Ruan Mei’s little cat-like creatures. That seemed to be enough to shut up the doctor, at least briefly, as he spent the next few minutes watching you construct cameras and drink wine in silence. Of course, though, the Doctor could only stand to exist without hearing his voice for so long, leading him to break the silence.

“You did not answer my earlier question,” he replied, voice even, though containing less of an annoying edge than usual. Aeons, what was it with these men and their persistence to get an answer out of you today, “Why are you colder than usual?”

You shot him a glare, standing up from the floor in anger, as if you wanted to punch him right then and there. Of course you didn’t, instead allowing yourself to pace the room, a few of the cat-like creatures hopping alongside you as you did, “You really have to ask me that? And you call yourself a member of the Intelligensia Guild?” you scoffed, pausing your pacing to stare him down directly, thriving in the way he squirmed slightly in his uncomfortable seat on the floor, “Not only did you use your stupid looks to sneak into the Seclusion Zone, but you witnessed Ruan Mei’s psychotic experiment, knew what was going to happen, but didn’t tell anyone about it, instead basically sending myself and the Trailblazer to our impending doom!” Your words were cold, harsh, streaming out like a river, as if you couldn’t hold them back any longer, “I know were not exactly friendly, but holy fuck, draw the line somewhere, right?”

He held his hands out in front of him, arm muscles flexing as he did so, “I understand you are upset, however-”

“Upset?” you scoffed, a sarcastic laugh leaving your lips, “Wrong, I’m pissed off! Is my life a joke to you? A few more seconds of fighting that stupid thing and I wouldn’t be here right now!” you pointed an accusatory finger at him, “Imagine if we did die, huh? Were you just goint to lounge around the Space Station as if you didn’t send us to death without the tinest warning? Or were you going to celebrate since I was finally out of your hair?”

“I wouldn’t have let you die,” he replied, tone cold, disappointed even, as if you were in the wrong for claiming he would do such a thing, “I’m sure you noticed that I returned to the Seclusion Zone before you left.” You had noticed. Of course, you did. You had been forced to halt your cleaning job temporarily to get the Trailblazer back to the Storage Zone. Mysteriously, despite the Trailblazer never having pressed the button for the elevator, the elevator was awaiting your arrival, as if the previous user had taken it downwards to the Seclusion Zone, despite you having seen the Doctor taking it upwards before you headed off to your impending doom. The Doctor took your silence as acknowledgement, “I was prepared to aid the two of you in defeating the creature if required.”

You didn’t speak for a moment, processing the new information to add on to what you already knew. You weren’t sure of what to make of the elevator incident til now, not knowing if the Doctor came to help you or mock you. Somehow, you found the later to be more preferable than the reality. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” you rebutted, sitting down on the floor again, keeping a few feet distance between you and the Doctor, “Knowing that you could help me defeat a monster that you failed to tell me about in the first place?”

The Doctor sighed dramatically as if he was a child caught stealing from a cookie jar, before beginning to speak, “I… apologize for my actions,” despite his extravagant sentiments before speaking, his words were surprisingly genuine, his usually snobby voice reduced to a volume barely above a whisper, “I was confident in your ability to hold off the creature, however I should have told you about the threat it posed… I am sorry.”

You blinked dumbly a few times before bursting out into laughter, scootching closer towards the Doctor to grab the wine bottle, taking a swig between your giggles, “Wow, it’s that easy to elicit an apology out of you, Doc?” you smirked, “I should’ve recorded that shit, ahhh it was so satisfying!” 

“You-” he glared at you, yanking the bottle out of your hands in anger, “Were you faking that temper tantrum the whole time? Are you capable of holding any conversation without emotional manipulation?” You continued to giggle, laughs only edged on by the warmth rising to the Doctor’s cheeks, which he tried to hide with his hands.

“I mean, I was, and am still upset,” you shrugged, snatching the bottle again from where he placed it on the floor to take another swig, sighing at the taste as you pulled the bottle away from your lips “But, why would I let that get in the way of me teasing you?” she mused, “Maybe I should’ve took it further, hmm? Waited until you got down on your knees and begged for my forgiveness before-”

“Enough of this insolence!” he exclaimed, an angry blush on his clear skin, “I have never met someone with so much gull; someone so infuriating!” he again snatched the wine away from you, though he failed to take a sip from the bottle.

“Hey, hey, you deserved all that after what you put me through today!” you pointed an accusatory finger at him before standing up from the floor, “Now come on, Doc, these cameras aren’t gonna put themselves up, huh?” you grabbed two of the cameras from their resting place on the floor, gesturing for the Doctor to do the same.

“And why would I help you exactly?” he questioned, crossing his arms across his chest, “may I remind you that I am your guest? If anything, you should be grovelling to me to fulfil my every wish.”

“You would like me on my knee for you, huh?” you teased, raising your eyebrows suggestively, causing the Doctor to open his mouth in rebut, though you were quick to cut him off before he could speak, “But you told Screwllum you would help, so too bad.” He sighed incredulously at your words.

“That was before you tricked me into apologizing and embarrassed me!’ he retorted, breathing heavily, as if relieved to finally let a retort escape his lips.

“Embarressed you in front of who exactly?” you cocked an eyebrow, looking between the Doctor and Ruan Mei’s creatures, “I don’t exactly think they’re the type to spread gossip ya know?” The Doctor and you watched as the creatures continued to jump around aimlessly, “So come on already, the sooner we do this the sooner we can leave each other alone.” The Doctor sighed, though he picked up two cameras nonetheless, trailing after you as you made your way through the Seclusion Zone. Your first step was the area overlooking the primary home of Ruan Mei’s creations, who seemed to longue by a toilet-like device nearby to where you were sitting. You easily began positioning a camera at the corner of the wall a few feet away from the toilet, allowing the device to display a view of the whole area.

“May I remind you that I have no loyalty to the Genius Society; I do not owe Screwllum my word, nor do I owe you anything,” the Doctor rebutted after a few moments of silence, as if he had been thinking of the retort, “However, I will help you this time out of the kindness of my heart.”

“Wow, isn’t this amiracle,” you ensured the camera was at least partly secure before turning to face him, placing a mocking hand to your chest, “The asshole Doctor caring for others? I’ll make sure to remember this moment; make sure to have your ghost writer reach out to me for your next autobiography so that I can tell them all the wonderful times we had together!”

“You read my autobiography?” he raised an eyebrow at you, though you didn’t notice due to your back once again being turned to him. You sensed the change in his tone though; less snarky and self-centered and more teasing, “I never knew how much of a fan you were; you should have told me Ms. Y/N, I would have gladly signed something for you.” You finished positioning the camera, turning to glare at the mocking smile on the Doctor’s face, “Is your propensity to teast me related to your infatuation with my work? It would explain why you make it you life’s mission to cause me strife; its akin to a child pulling their crushes hair on the playground!”

You scoffed, the Doctor trailing after you as you walked to the other side of the room near some plants that had been cultivated in the Seclusion Zone, and near a place where a few other of Ruan Mei’s creations had been lounging. The creatures were quick to give you some space to position the camera, “You wish, Doctor, I just find your reactions amusing,” you mused as you fiddled with the camera, “Screwllum lent me the book; I’ve got to say, eight doctorial degrees? Like holy shiy, at what could you’ve possibly learned in the eighth that you didn’t already learn in the seventh?”

A moment of silence passed again, you figured because the Doctor was looking to retort again. You weren't complaining though, the silence allowed you time to realize how fuzzy your head was becoming from the wine, and allowed you to find a suitable spot on the opposite side of the room near a staircase to plant another camera. You briefly glanced at the Doctor as you grabbed one of the cameras from his hand, earning no notable reaction. With a shrug, you tuned and began to position the device before the Doctor spoke again, “If I may be so bold… what exactly is your relationship with… Mr. Screwllum?”

“Huh?” you weren’t expecting that question, nearly dropping the unsecured camera, which you barely managed to pick up before it hit the ground. You turned to face him, as if searching his face for the intention behind his words, “What, you’re worried I’m taken? I’m flattered, Doctor, this is the second time today you’ve implied you wanted me to worship you on my knees. You sure don’t hold back on your kinks, huh?”

“Are you capable of responding to anything seriously” he exclaimed awkwardly, brushing off your attempt to deflect the situation. His eyes scanned your figure, taking in Screwllum’s button-down shirt that trailed down to the top of your upper thigh, “You clearly have… some romantic relationship with each other. I am merely curious how a man of his standing has the ability to put up with someone like you.”

“Believe it or not, I’m quite a pleasurable person to be around, you just bring out the worst in me, Doc,” you joked, pondering if you should place the camera or focus on the Doctor, but opted for the latter after you determined your next words, “The relationship Screwllum and I have is pretty simple - were just fuck buddies.”

You weren’t exactly sure how the Doctor would react to that information, though you would have never expected the mere word ‘fuck’ would cause him to open his mouth like a fish, sputtering as if he was speechless, his face red with embarrassment, “W-What?”

“What, eight doctorial degrees and you don’t know what the term fuck buddies is?” you cocked an eyebrow, a smirk growing it’s way on your features, “Ya know, friends with benefits, a situationship, meaningless sex, booty call-”

“I understand the concept!” the Doctor practically shouted, as if begging you to shut up, his face growing redder, “I just cannot comprehend how someone like him would be in a… sexual relationship with someone like you.”

“What, like you can’t picture how we do it?” you questioned teasingly, curving your middle and pointed finger in a ‘come here’ motion, “Come on, use your imagination, Doc! I’ll let you know that Screwllum is great with his fingers!”

Your actions only seemed to spiral the Doctor further into an embarrassed mess, one of his hands moving to attempt to hide the heat on his cheeks, “That is not what I meant,” he sighed, frustrated, “I merely wish to understand how one of the most notable men in the universe ended up being close to a mere security guard.”

“Oh,” you shrugged, turning away now to refocus on the camera, “I mean, that’s nothing special really if I had to be honest. Screwllum visits pretty often, so naturally we ended up talking at some point,” you looked over your shoulder at the Doctor, “Plus, haven’t you seen him? Dude’s smoking hot, of course I’d flirt with him after we got to know each other. It’s as simple as that.” By the strange look the Doctor was giving you, you were pretty sure he didn’t share your enthusiasm regarding the attractiveness of robots, not that it really mattered - more for you to have after all. 

“And yet you’re not dating,” the Doctor commented, trailing after you again as you once again wandered around the room to the wall opposite the stars to put up another camera. You barely glanced at him this time as you grabbed the last camera from him, quickly turning away. 

“We're not dating,” you kept your tone as casual as you could, focusing your attention on positioning the camera on the wall. You doubted the Doctor was the best at picking up on emotional cues, but you wanted to be safe nonetheless by avoiding his questioning gaze.

“I see,” he spoke simply before continuing, “I suppose that’s self-explanatory,” he commented offhandedly as you continued to avoid his gaze while focusing ion your work, “You don’t seem like the type to commit to a long term relationship; both you and Screwllum must have greater satisfaction with this… arrangement.”

God, if he was going to make you talk more about your sex life, you definitely would need more wine in your system, “Ah, Doctor, falling into assumptions of character?” you murmured as you secured the camera, “I expected more from your eight doctorate degrees.” Not seeing a way out of the inevitable, you half-hazardously finished placing the camera before wandering back towards the wine to take a swig, the Doctor once again on your heels.

“I do not understand your assertion,” he watched you impatiently as you took some swigs, the bottle nearly drained before you forced yourself to stop, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You were quick to grab two more cameras, motioning the Doctor to follow you once he grabbed two more of his own.

“... I was not the one who suggested our relationship be casual. It was Screwllum,” you once again kept your tone even as the Doctor followed you up the first flight of stairs, where you decided to place a camera beside the door to an experimental room. You looked at the Doctor over your shoulder after a moment of silence, “What, no witty remark for that one, Doctor?”

“I am merely confused,” he confessed, his tone curious. You preferred him more when he was mocking you, “I must admit, I am not familiar with your relationship with Screwllum, but he clearly showed care for you earlier.” Your mind wandered back to the robot, his touch on your skin, his reluctance to leave, the way his fingers expertly massaged your flesh, the way you were straddlingly him when the Doctor had found you. You shoke your head, as if to brush the memories away.

“That’s the thing,” you commented with a shrug, turning to face the Doctor now that the camera was secure to the wall, “At the end of the day, Screwllum will never seriously date someone because of who he is,” you shrugged, as if speaking those words didn’t pain you, “I obviously see him as someone extraordinary who is honestly a lot kinder than a lot of humans I know,” your eyes trailed down to the ground floor, eyeing Ruan Mei’s creations, “But at the end of the day, he’ll always be scared that he can never truly love me because he’s a machine,” you admitted, “Screwllum doesn’t think he’s capable of genuine love, so he won’t get himself in a situation where someone feels that way about him on a deeper level.”

“And yet you have feelings for him,” the Doctor commented as you walked into the experimental room after the first flight of stairs, placing another camera on the other side of the door. Your mind was foggy now with the wine, as if you knew you should stop talking but couldn’t. Maybe one of the Doctor’s degrees was in psychology, considering he seemed to know exactly how to make you spill your inner demons. 

“I think I did at one time,” you said honestly, “But I accepted that whatever I wanted with him won’t ever occur, and I moved on.” With the camera secure, you turned to face the Doctor, “You’re awfully curious about my failed love life, huh? What ‘bout you? Some cute chick waiting back at the University of Veritas Prime?”

“I have no time for romance,” he spoke plainly, crossing his arms over his chest disinterestedly, “There are much more pressing matters for someone of my standing to deal with than something a fickle as a relationship.”

“Spoken like a true virgin,” you clasped your hands together with a mocking smile, “How sweet, Doctor,” you turned away from him, the Doctor again trailing after you as you left the room and walked up the second flight of stairs, “Though, honestly, if I had to deal with your attitude everyday, I wouldn’t fuck you either. I’m sure hearing your voice day after day everyday while getting a degree would be enough to drive me to drop out. I pity all the women who had to deal with you year after year.”

“Very funny,” he spoke, sarcasm dripping from his tone, “Unfortunately for you and myself, many women have the propensity to throw themselves at me,” he sighed, as if recalling the incidents, “They are dull minded and not worthy my time, attention, or energy.”

“Hmm, curious,” you commented, unceremoniously climbing on top of a few metal boxes at the top of the stair case to reach an adequate area on the wall for your camera, “And yet you seem to always find me for some obnoxious conversation? Does that make me special?” you turned, smirking over your shoulder.

“We simply keep running into each other, you are not special,” the Doctor brushed off your comment, shooting you a judgemental stare as you descended from one pile of boxes to make your way to another file on the opposite side of the landing, grabbing the last camera from his hands before climbing up the boxes again.

“Awww, don’t be shy, Doc,” you teased, eyes focused on the camera instead of him, “You know there’s more to it - you’re the one who sought me out this time, after all,” you looked over your shoulder once the camera was secure, “If you’re falling for me, might as well tell me now so I can reject you before it’s too late.”

You turned back to the camera, one foot taking a step back so you could better check the accuracy of the angle. You gasped when your foot felt nothing to rest on, flailing your arms as your body began to fall backwards, cursing the stupid wine as you did so. Through your drunken haze, your mind attempted to think of any solution to get yourself out of this situation, though any logic snapped away when you felt him.

Doctor Ratio was quick to react, arms wrapping around your waist as your body fell, pulling you away from the boxes and closer to him. He made a small grunting noise as your body collided with his chest, his warmth surrounding you as he pulled you close to him. In his arms, you truly realized the extent of his physique, feeling the muscles in his chest against your back, and truly acknowledging the size of his arms as he held you against him. His body was hot, almost unbearably so, your body used to the cold metallic arms of your usual partner. It was comforting though; as if you were wrapped in a blanket. What overwhelmed you most, though, was his scent. His clothes smelt clean, as if they were fresh from the laundry, giving him a soft smell, a harsh contrast to his more harsh figure. However, as if to cover the softness up, there was a hint of cologne, nothing too strong but definitely something there that tickled your nose as you inhaled the musky scent. His breath tickled your exposed neck as he breathed, giving you goosebumps despite the overwhelming scent surrounding you.

“If anything, it seems as if you are the one falling for me,” he whispered into your ear, voice lacking its usual arrogance, replaced by something you wanted to label as flirtatious, but were afraid to do so. He chuckled at your lack of response, “It does feel nice to finally have you at a loss of words - as if I’ve finally reached a checkmate against one of my opponents. 

“No wonder women don’t like you,” you forced yourself to speak, voice lacking the confidence you wanted it to possess, “you just see them like chess pieces - a game to you.”

“I can reassure you, you’re the only one entertaining enough to resemble a challenge,” he laughed, making sure your feet were on the ground before he moved to release you. Your head was practically spinning then, a mix of the alcohol, closeness to the Doctor and some resemblance of dignity that was now absence after your tumble. You immediately felt cold at the absence of your skin, a feeling you usually were okay with. But now… now all you were craving seemed to be heat. 

He let out a yelp when you pulled his body back to yours, your back against his chest again, “Aeons, this is embarrassing,” you muttered, before turning your head to look at him, “...but can you hold me a little longer?” He hesitated slightly, looking you in the eye as if to see if you were testing him somehow. When you merely stared back at him, no hint of a smirk on your features, he sighed, moving his arms to adjust to your body again. You sighed in relief at the feeling of his arms wrap around your waist again, resisting the urge to nuzzle back against him.

“How drunk are you exactly?” he groaned in annoyance against you, though he didn’t make a move to leave your side, “This type of behaviour is ridiculous, even for someone as idiotic as yourself.”

“It’s not my fault that I want some comfort!” you defended, words slightly slurred now from the alcohol “You try fighting some stupid mutant bug and washing bug guts off yourself for two hours, and get back to me about how you feel!” you huffed, forcing yourself to move away from him, “Just forget it, let’s go grab more cameras and-” You gasped when he pulled you back towards him again, this time picking you up bridal style. The feeling of his strong arms against your legs made your shudder, the less PG part of your mind wondering how they would feel in more skin tight pants compared to the sweats you wore now,  “What the hell are you doing, put me down!”

“As if I’d let you walk after you almost cracked your skull open,” he scoffed, descending the stairs with you in his arms, his demeanour completely normal despite your weight in his arms, “Though I must say, your comments do make your behaviour this evening much more understandable.”

“I’m not some stupid puzzle for you to try to solve, bastard,” you resisted the urge to flail your way out of his arms, not wanting to fall on your ass again today.

He ignored your protests, continuing to speak, “I have to say, my intentions of asking about Screwllum were to try and dissect the curious behaviour you too displayed,” he began, descending the second flight of stairs, “If there truly is no romantic feelings between you two, why did he hesitate to leave? Why did he continue to touch you for as long as possible.” The Doctor carefully placed you down on the floor near the cameras before placing his hands on his hips, not batting an eye as you reached towards the wine, “It makes sense now; the anger, the reluctance to be alone, the mentions of fighting to the death.” He paused for a moment as if adding dramatic effect.

“You were scared. You don’t want to be alone. You want someone to comfort you - it is the only thing I can hypothesize behind Screwllum’s motives to suggest I remain here with you after he depart - he was worried about you.”

You downed the rest of the wine, bottle now empty as you placed it down, “Why do you have to be so smart? It’s annoying,” you murmured, the bottle falling to the ground as you failed to place it down properly, “So what if I wanna little comfort after almost dying, isn’t that normal?”

“And why, exactly, do you want this comfort from me?” he asked, cocking a curious eyebrow at you. 

It was a question you asked yourself too - why him? In all honesty, your two, now three, interactions with the Doctor had all been a pain in your ass, keeping you from doing something else that you wanted to do to deal with tiring conversation with some pompous asshole who had no desire to do anything but insult you… Yet you had to admit, the conversations were fun after all. Compared to the other people you surrounded yourself with at the Space Station, Doctor Ratio was new; exciting. He wasn’t afraid to poke your buttons to see what response he would get, something that you couldn’t really say about any of the other researchers. You supposed to closest thing was Herta, but even she couldn’t be bothered to talk to people most days, too focused on the damned Simulated Universe to give a shit about you. That was it - it had to be. You were craving something, or rather someone, who could challenge you, and it just so happened that this Doctor could.

…Not that you were going to tell him that, though. 

“I don’t exactly got a lot’a options here,” you gestured at the room, the only surroundings being Ruan Mei’s creations, “What, am I gonna rant to a stupid cat thingy about my fear of death?”

“You could have saved the rant for Screwllum,” the Doctor commented, eyes flickering from you to the empty wine bottle, “But you instead agreed to rant to me - you are smarter than to make excuses for your actions.”

You huffed, crossing your arms across your chest, “Aeons, and you say I’m the emotionally manipulative one - how did your stupid fancy University teach you to get information out of people so easily,” she sighed in defeat, ��I’m not the type of person who wants to reflect on my emotions, and you’re the type of person to give me a distraction, that’s all there is to it.”

“I see,” the Doctor smirked, confidently sitting down beside you on the floor cross-legged, his knee briefly touching yours as he readjusted, “I’ve got to say, this sudden confession of your feelings towards me has me flustered. Perhaps it is you who wants to grovel at my feet, despite you suggesting the reverse.”

“Oh shut up, asshole,” you groaned, wishing you had more wine to drown your sorrows in. You attempted to stand up, extremely wobbly on your feet, “Lets put the rest of these stupid cameras up so I can get the hell out of this place.”

The Doctor grabbed your wrist as if to steady you, though the action didn’t seem to cure the wobble of your figure, “You’re clearly not in the condition to continue working. Why don’t you rest here and continue work later…” he trailed off, as if thinking how to finish his sentence, “...when you’re not stumbling around like a light weight.”

“Lightweight!” you exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at him, “You try drinking a bottle of wine and see how you act!” The Doctor ignored your words, gently pulling you to the ground, placing one of his muscular arms around your waist, as if to prevent your escape.

“Just go to bed, the Station will be better off for a while without you stumbling around down here,” he stated bluntly, repositioning you so that you could rest your head on his chest, the rest of your body curled up beside him.

“At least let me sleep in my room,” you groaned, wiggling against his grip, “No offence, but my bed is a lot comfier than you’re stupidly buff chest.” He snorted slightly at the comment, arm still firmly holding you in place.

“You can barely walk,” he reminded you, “And I do not think either of us would benefit from the rumours that would result from me carrying you towards your room,” you could practically hear the gossip now - its not like researchers had much better to do than start baseless rumours anyway. 

“Ugh, you’re so stupid, Doctor,” you mumbled, accepting your fate and shifting your body slightly to get more comfortable, “You and you’re stupid eight Doctorate degrees, why are you so fucking frustrating?”

“Veritas,” he said softly, making you open your tired eyes to look at him. He gazed down at your figure from where you on his lap, “My name is Veritas. If we are going to be familiar enough to do… whatever this is, you may as well call me by my first name.”

“Veritas,” you tested the name on your lips, “First telling me to sleep on you, and then telling me your first name? What’s next, a marriage proposal?”

“Just shut up and sleep,” he huffed, holding you against his chest, letting you rest your body weight on him completely. You could hear his heartbeat as you rested there, a sound so unfamiliar to you considering your usual cuddling partners. However, somehow the rhythmic thumping was relaxing - a sign of life that showed you that there was someone by your side. It scared away any thoughts of that Aeon-forsaken bug that threatened to invade your mind.

“Dr- Veritas,” you corrected yourself sleepily, “You’ll stay with me, right?” your words were muffled as you spoke into his chest, eyes fluttering with the sleep that already wanted to flow over you.

“It is not like I have much of a choice given our current predicament,” he sighed, though his grip did not loosen on you. You smiled at his words, though your mind briefly wandered away for a second.

“I wanted to ask you,” you said softly, “Early today, you told the Trailblazer that you stumbled upon Ruan Mei’s research after coming down here for your own purposes…” you mumbled, forcing yourself to finish the question despite the desire to sleep, “...Why exactly were you down here in the first place?”

He was silent for a moment, though it was so brief that you wondered if you had made it up, “I will tell you when you awake, I promise.” You nodded, tired mind finding some sort of solace in his words, allowing you to finally let sleep overtake you.

It's only when you wake up the next day, Screwllum shaking your arm urgently, that you realize the Doctor went back on his word.

[oceane4loveu]

☾𝕄𝕆𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕀𝔾ℍ𝕋 BEAUTY ☾: 1 week to glow up

I really need a quick and simple glow up because I'm starting my job soon so I created a program to glow up in 1 week and really get to know myself and improve myself physically and mentally. You can do this program in 2 weeks or more if you want.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day 1: lunar preparation

★shadow work: It’s time to work on yourself, answer their questions to get to know yourself better.

1. What did my childhood need most?

2. What am I avoiding?

3. What am I addicted to?

4. What secrets am I hiding and why?

5. Am I honest with myself and others?

6. What are my biggest misconceptions about myself?

7. What are my biggest fears?

8. What should I give up?

9. Am I a victim of trauma? Have I done enough to heal?

10. What do I need to forgive myself for?

11. What lessons do I still need to learn?

12. What do I want most in this life?

13. What are the first signs you notice and know that your mental health is deteriorating?

14. Do I try to hide parts of myself from others? Why ?

15. What was I like when I was a child?

16. What's the worst way someone could describe you?

★moodboard: makes a Moodboard that reflects your aspirations and your inspirations that you can look at every morning; you can put it as a wallpaper or hang it on the wall.

★ Do a major cleaning: tidy your room, delete numbers, sort through your phone, sort through your series and films, social media and my playlist, cut off toxic people.

★make a list of all your goals, choose 4 big goals in your life and separate them into smaller goals to make them easier to achieve.

★create a morning and night routine: you can copy that of someone who inspires you or simply create your own.

★do 1 hour of sport per day

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day2:inner radiance

★ start Journaling: write down your thoughts, your emotions, your thoughts for the day and also positive affirmations.

★make a list of things you like about yourself

★become softer:

1. When someone calls you, first turn to the person and smile: This helps you to be gentler and more polite towards the person you are talking to and after smiling it gives you the opportunity to speak in a kinder tone.

2. think before you speak: this is very important when learning to speak softer because it gives you time to pay attention to the tone of your voice and also be careful with the things you say.

3. Avoid yelling at others out of frustration: Yelling is the most important thing you should avoid when trying to speak softer. When you're frustrated or going through a tough time, try doing something you enjoy to calm yourself down like music, drawing, etc. instead of taking it out on others. if someone tries to make you angry, politely tell them to stop and don't let your anger control you.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day3:educational brilliance

-listen to a podcast: I only listen to podcasts in French but if you don't like listening to podcasts you can watch videos from tam kaur, thewizardliz, simonesquared and more

-read a book: I recommend atomic habit, ikigai, the why cafe, the other books that I read are in French.

-learn a new language: on YouTube there are plenty of videos that you can find on the language of your choice.

-learn another skill: I chose to improve my computer skills but you can choose any skill it can be drawing, cooking whatever you want.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day4:celestial radiance

-work on self-love

-work on self-esteem

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day5:lunar dream

-spa day at home

-meditation

-listen to your favorite music

-watch your favorite series or films

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day6: lunar flight

-find your ikigai: that is to say your reason for being, explore your passions, your values ​​and your talents to really find what motivates you here is an example:

-Black Swan mindset: the Black Swan mindset is about knowing your value and not letting others tell you your value, it is a mindset of trust and knowledge of your value.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day7:moonlight beauty

become more feminine

1-have good posture: gives you more elegance, you seem taller and more confident.

2-smell good have a characteristic scent: could remind someone of you, smell good shows that you care about your hygiene.

3-Getting Your Nails Done: Getting your nails done could make you look confident and well-groomed.

4-style your hair: hair is a key point of your appearance and a good hairstyle could automatically make you even more beautiful.

5-wear jewelry: simple jewelry can enhance your outfit a lot and bring out your features.

things to do every day

☆ Workout

☆ Learn a new skill

☆ Listen to subliminals

☆ Meditate

☆ Read a book

☆ Do Journaling

☆ Listen to Podcasts

I'm going to start tomorrow and to stay organized and always have an idea of ​​what I have to do I created a simple Notion if you want it's right here જ⁀➴

𝕄𝕆𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕀𝔾ℍ𝕋 BEAUTY

[anqelically]

IKIGAI | OSAMU DAZAI X FEM!READER

001. THE AZURE APOSTLE

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Y/N and Ranpo return from Kyushu in order to help solve the case of the Azure Apostle. At the agency, the pair meet their newest co-worker— Osamu Dazai

CHAPTER WARNINGS: None

WORD COUNT: 2.8K words

SERIES INTRODUCTION | CH2

DIM LIGHTS AND THE SMELL OF RAMEN made the atmosphere feel like home. Conversations among the customers in the ramen shop overlapped each other, so much that the distinct voices blended together. The busy atmosphere was oddly calming...

"Wah, why do babies cry so much?"

...Well, maybe not to everyone.

Y/N Kirino looked up at the man she was working alongside. He rested his chin on top of his palm as his head looked towards the right, a childish pout on his face. Y/N looked in the direction Ranpo Edogawa was looking in to see what he was talking about.

A couple of tables down was a little girl, who was no older than 3 years old, crying. She was amazed that she ignored the wailing until that point. She looked back at Ranpo with an answer to his question earlier in mind.

"Babies and little kids cry for plenty of reasons, but I think that girl burned her tongue by eating whatever was on her plate too soon. She was sticking her tongue out as she cried," Y/N replied before she ate more of her Hakata ramen.

Ranpo took one of his wooden chopsticks and stirred his noodles like a bored child, "She actually tried Sriracha. The bottle was right near her plate."

Bored and grumpy. Those were the two feelings Y/N could practically feel radiating off of Ranpo. She silently observed him as she ate her food. The slight furrow of his brows and the way he left the remains of his food untouched told Natsuo that he didn't want to be there anymore.

"Oniisan," she called for him, "don't tell me that the girl's crying made you lose your appetite."

"Nope!" Ranpo sat up straight and complained, "Why do we have to leave Kyushu early? We just got here! I want to stay, hmph!"

"We can come some other time, Oniisan. I'm sure Fukuzawa-sama would let us if we asked."

"They can just send you the details over text and we could stay."

"I was told that they wanted you nearby in case you were needed again. There are lives on the line in this case, which is also the newcomer's entrance exam. Oh, and we leave for the train tomorrow at 9 o'clock in the morning. If we leave the inn early, we can also go shopping for some snacks you want."

The Armed Detective Agency.

It was a licensed group consisting of almost entirely ability users who worked in Yokohama. They worked on cases that the police or military police couldn't handle either because it was too difficult, or they were already placing their staff's effort elsewhere. Most cases dealt with fellow ability users.

Not every case of theirs is dealt with in Yokohama. That's why Y/N and Ranpo were hours away from home. As members of the small group, they were sent out to Kyushu for a case.

Ranpo was the smartest detective in the agency, probably the smartest in the entire country. He solved many cases with his so-called ability called Ultra Deduction. In a blink of an eye, he'd identify the culprit from the evidence and explain the steps they took to commit the crime, if necessary.

The skill of his played a large part in keeping the agency running. If it weren't for Ranpo, there would've been plenty of cases either left unsolved or solved too late. Y/N picked up on some of the ways he thought as a detective, but it still wasn't near his level at all.

She admired him for it. Although Ultra Deduction was not an actual ability and just Ranpo's innate talent, it didn't make him any less admirable. If anything, it made him greater than an ability user in Y/N's mind. He was proof that an ability wasn’t necessary to be great.

The woman finished her ramen before she and Ranpo left. They checked into their rooms at a local inn after they got some onsen tamago to satisfy the male's stomach.

In order to go shopping as Y/N promised, she and Ranpo had to wake up early. Y/N was peacefully sleeping on her futon until a loud slam awoke her. Actually, she was sure that it woke up some of the people in the rooms nearby as well.

Y/N tiredly rubbed her eyes before looking up at the figure that stood by her side. It wasn't shocking for her to see Ranpo standing with his hands on his hips. It reminded her of how Ranpo used to wake her up for late-night snack runs when she lived with Akiko Yosano, her older sister figure and co-worker, while he was sleeping over.

"What time is it?" she croaked, sitting up.

He replied, "Time for you to get up! We got 3 hours until we leave, starting right now. Come on, I want to eat soufflé pancakes!"

Y/N knew better than to keep someone like Ranpo waiting. She got ready as quickly as possible before they checked out of the inn. Her hair blew with the breeze that passed.

"Hey, Oniisan," Y/N called for Ranpo during breakfast.

He licked the whipped cream at his lips, "Hm?"

"What do you think he's like? The new member," she inquired.

"Doesn't matter to me!" He took another bite before he continued, "I'm the better detective in the end. Nobody can match my Ultra Deduction."

'He's definitely still grumpy we're leaving early'

"Kunikida-san told me that 'He's a suicidal child in a grown man's body.' I wasn't sure what to say after that."

"Well then, don't go having a crush on him too like you did with Kunikida, N/N-chan."

The woman immediately cringed, "You said you wouldn't bring that up again! I don't even want to think about that." She buried her face in her hands after thinking about her past feelings.

Doppo Kunikida, another colleague of theirs in the agency, was quite a professional man. He heavily believed in his ideals and was determined to follow them.

Y/N was sure of the two reasons why she initially developed a crush on Kunikida. The first was how organized he was with his life. Kunikida had plans and the resolve to see them through. He worked hard for morals that she also abided by.

The second reason? Y/N was simply surrounded by family figures until she met Kunikida. Y/N lived in her family's estate until she was 16. After she was saved by the Armed Detective Agency, they became her family. Ranpo, Yosano, and Yukichi Fukuzawa were not only years older than her, but there was only room for familial bonds.

So since Y/N was drawn to his demeanor and didn't see him as a brother figure, she developed a crush. 3 months passed before she stopped seeing him that way.

"Well then, don't go having a crush on him too like you did with Kunikida, N/N-chan."

Y/N glanced out the window, "I'm used to other people's presence in my daily life now. I won't fall for him like how I did with Kunikida."

She'd fall much harder.

| 生きがい |

Y/N GOES ABOUT HER DAILY LIFE with a list of tasks to do. Although the days are different, the things on her to-do list for work continue to stay the same. She was not as strict about her schedule as Kunikida was, however. While he had every hour planned with something to do, all of it written in his small book, Y/N had a short list engraved in her mind.

-Get drinks for everyone before going to work

-Make sure Ranpo has snacks at his desk before he comes in (which is a bit late)

-Check any e-mails sent to the ADA

-Hand in any finished paperwork from everybody to Kunikida towards the end of the day

The list was not long or complicated, but it wasn't always completed by the end of every day. Urgent cases or cases far away were the main reasons that these errands would sometimes remain undone. The case Y/N followed Ranpo to Kyushu for was an example.

They returned to Yokohama about 3 hours before sunset, Y/N unable to do anything on her to-do list. The case of the Azure Messenger was too important to deal with. A bomb was planted somewhere in Yokohama, set to blow up and kill over a hundred people at sunset, and almost every worker had their minds running in circles until Ranpo made his appearance. They were sure that he would find out where it was the moment Kunikida and the new recruit returned with the files they were fetching.

Hell, Ranpo could probably deduce possible areas for the bomb without the files.

So Y/N sat at her desk, reading over what had happened so far. The news, written reports, and accounts from some of the workers here, Y/N wanted to be caught up to every detail. She spent about 30 minutes reviewing and theorizing before Ranpo asked her what she thought.

Ever since she started working at the agency, Y/N tried to challenge her ways of thinking. Ranpo helped her by handing her old cases that were already solved and letting her solve them with all the evidence provided. It was routine for her to explain her thinking to him.

"Well, I think it's safe to cross out major buildings. If those buildings exploded, it would take down many more in the process. The message they sent made it seem like they weren't aiming for victims exceeding... let's say three hundred people. Exploding towers and nearby buildings would kill way more than that."

Ranpo hummed, "Then what place would it be in? If it's not a major building, where is our bomb?"

Y/N leaned back in her chair, "If the bomb isn't found in time, people will probably blame the agency again. These crimes seem to be trying to make us look bad, so far. So if I were a bomber, I'd bomb some place with victims that have done absolutely nothing wrong. A popular park is a place I'd bomb, if it weren't a school... That's really dark of me, isn't it?"

"Kinda is. Final answer?"

"Yup, is it right?"

"Just wait and see, N/N-chan~ They'll be here in 5 seconds.”

Y/N was confused until she saw the door to the office open in her peripheral vision. 5 seconds later, to be exact. The first one to walk inside was Kunikida, who seemed relieved at the sight of Ranpo. Slowly trailing behind him was the man she'd never met before.

"Oh, Ranpo-san! How did the case in Kyushu go?" Kunikida greeted. He pushed up rectangle-shaped glasses with his finger.

"That? Took me one look at the body before figuring out who it was," He took another sip of his soda. "We heard what happened, Kunikida-Kun. Everyone's been running in circles over some little bomb, huh? I really wish my colleagues could take care of themselves sometimes. You know, I didn't get to slack off in Kyushu thanks to you. N/N-chan saved me from being completely bored there."

"Kirino?"

"Right here," Y/N popped up beside Ranpo's desk with a wave. "I was looking at everything that's happened so far before you walked in. It's quite a case we've got here."

"Yeah, and we've got to figure out where this bomb is, and we need help."

"That's why I'm here to help you out! After all, Ultra Deduction is the greatest skill in the world, so coming to me for help is only natural!" With a laugh, Ranpo patted Kunikida on the shoulder.

The blond wholeheartedly agreed. This, in turn, made Dazai finally speak up. "K-Kunikida, are you okay? You don't have to hold it in," he timidly said.

The glasses-wearing ability user only gave him a blank look. Y/N, on the other hand, found herself admiring Dazai's features. For someone her age, his face was devilishly handsome. Peaking through his bangs, Dazai's chocolate-colored eyes met hers.

"Dazai, give Kirino the files."

He held out the papers they'd gotten but retracted them the moment Y/N held her hands out to grab them. Dazai, instead of handing over the files, tucked them under his arm before he took a couple of steps closer. He clasped Y/N's hands with his own, their eye contact never breaking.

"If I'd known a beauty like you was hiding in the agency, I would've come to join sooner," he smiled at her, feigning innocence as Y/N's cheeks heated up. "A wonderful, young woman like you should partner up with a charming, equally young man like- GWUAH!"

Abruptly, Kunikida punched Dazai down on his head. Both Y/N and Ranpo watched the brunet get angrily pulled back by the blond.

The idealist scolded, "Do you seriously have no shame!? Kirino is your senior as a worker here, so don't go flirting with her at first sight! There is a time and place for-"

"Are you saying that because she crosses off a couple of requirements on your list?" Dazai smirked.

"Huh!?"

"Oh, come on~! I've just met this Kirino-chan and I can tell! She looks polite, well-mannered, organized, someone that'll always fight for what's right-"

"Dazai," Kunikida glared.

It was an interesting dynamic to watch, to be honest.

"What's going on out here? You guys are awfully noisy," a feminine voice joined.

Everyone glanced to the side to see the agency's doctor outside the infirmary's door. Yosano's heels clicked as she walked towards Y/N. Her arm draped over the younger one's shoulders as she stared at Kunikida.

"So hey, what's this list Dazai was talking about, Kunikida? Last time I checked, listing attributes about Y/N had nothing to do with the bomb," Yosano interrogated.

They all stared at the woman.

"Oneesan's right," Y/N spoke up. "Lives are on the line with the bomb. Dazai-san, may I have the files?"

"Right, of course. Dazai Osamu, by the way. Nice to meet the both of you, Kirino-chan and Ranpo-san." He got up from the floor and handed Y/N the files.

"So, newbie," Ranpo called out to Dazai, momentarily forgetting his name. "Uh... Dazai, was it? Where did you work prior to coming here?"

Thus, an awkward, short conversation occurred between the two. Ranpo had asked Dazai what he was doing before the agency, to which he replied that he was merely roaming around. It was an awfully convenient excuse for someone who had no information in the police database's records.

The pair had a short staredown before Ranpo moved back to check over the papers Y/N and Yosano had laid out. He digested the information before he put on his black-framed glasses. Dazai stepped behind him to watch closer.

Ranpo's bright green eyes sharpened before he supposedly activated his ability. He set his glasses on his desk, "I've got it."

"Wait, seriously?" Dazai held his breath.

"N/N-chan," Ranpo pointed at the bookshelf, "get the map for me?"

"Of course," she turned around to get the map on the bookshelf behind her. She spread it out over the papers.

"The bomb is..." everyone else leaned closer to the map in anticipation. Ranpo then lightly pressed his finger on top of the map, "...right here. The bomb was set up in this fishing-gear shop."

"Then I guess my theory of it being a popular park was wrong," Y/N commented. She didn't dare to say anything about what Dazai did.

Amazed, he urged Kunikida out of the agency by pulling his sleeve. Ranpo remarked that Dazai was simply amazed by his ability, but the two women present knew otherwise.

Osamu Dazai figured out that Ranpo Edogawa was not an ability user.

The moment the senior detective activated his "ability", Dazai held a piece of his hair from behind. His ability nullifies the effects of any ability he touches, so Ranpo shouldn't have been able to figure out where the bomb was if Ultra Deduction was an actual ability.

"He didn't seem like the type to be that amazed, but I get it," Y/N murmured.

Ranpo, however, caught onto her words, "He should be amazed! Ultra Deduction is the best ability out there for cases."

Yosano patted her co-worker on the shoulder, "Of course it is. What would the Armed Detective Agency be without you solving many cases for us?"

"We just have to hope that they disable the bomb in time," Y/N began to fold the map. She asked Ranpo, "Do you think they'll make it in time?"

The oldest of the trio only sat back on his desk's chair, "I know they will."

WRITTEN: 01/02/2023

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

first fic i’m bringing to tumblr!! i hope you guys enjoy it, and any reblogs will be greatly appreciated <33 ily guys mwah

@seneon @chuuyrr @kentopedia @cloudwisp

[artificialfanfiction]

Ikigai-One Shot

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Disclaimer: The content on this blog is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes. None of the scenarios depicted here are based on real-life occurrences. Enjoy the stories and let your imagination run wild!

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pairing Noah Sebastian x reader

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In the quiet, moonlit suburbs of a quaint town, a young couple named Noah Sebastian and y/n sat anxiously in their cozy living room, surrounded by the gentle whispers of anticipation. Noah, the charismatic singer of the rising rock band, Bad Omens, gently cradled y/n's hand, her eyes reflecting the excitement and nervousness that danced within her soul. The sound of their unborn daughter's heartbeat echoed through the room, a symphony of life growing stronger with each passing moment. They had chosen the name Ikigai, a Japanese concept that embodied the essence of their love and the purpose they had found in each other. As the clock chimed midnight, y/n's contractions grew closer, signaling the imminent arrival of their baby girl. With a mix of awe and apprehension, they looked into each other's eyes, ready to embark on the most profound journey of their lives together.

As the first light of dawn pierced through the curtains, y/n took a deep, steadying breath, her eyes meeting Noah's with a silent communication of love and determination. His gaze was filled with reassurance, a promise that together, they could conquer the world. Her contractions had become a rhythmic crescendo, and it was time to head to the hospital. Noah helped her to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist to support her as they made their way to the car. The cool, early morning air washed over them, carrying with it the scent of dew kissed grass and the faint whispers of a new day beginning. He opened the car door with a gentle touch, helping her in before taking his place behind the wheel. As the engine roared to life, the reality of the moment sank in Ikigai was on her way, and their lives were about to change forever. With a firm grip on the steering wheel, Noah navigated the deserted streets, the headlights carving a path through the darkness. The world outside was still, yet within the confines of the car, a storm of emotions swirled, a potent mix of fear, excitement, and hope. Each mile brought them closer to the hospital, and with it, the culmination of nine long months of anticipation. Their hearts raced in sync with the growing intensity of y/n's contractions, counting down the moments until they would hold their daughter in their arms. The silence was broken only by the occasional murmur of comfort from Noah and the soft, persistent beat of the car stereo, playing the unreleased lullaby he had composed for Ikigai.

The hospital loomed ahead, a beacon of hope and comfort amidst the serene stillness of the early morning. Upon their arrival, the expectant couple was ushered into a warm, welcoming room, where the soft hum of machinery and the gentle footsteps of the nurses offered a soothing contrast to the urgency of the situation. Noah held y/n's hand tightly as she was wheeled into the delivery suite, the air thick with anticipation. The medical staff bustled around them, preparing for the miracle that was about to unfold. His voice, usually a powerful instrument on stage, was now a quiet pillar of strength, whispering words of encouragement into her ear as she focused on the task at hand. The doctor's calm demeanor filled the room with an air of competence and care, easing the tension that had been building for hours. With each contraction, y/n's resolve grew stronger, and Noah's eyes never left hers, a silent pact to conquer this challenge as they had done with every hurdle in their life as a united front. And as the first tender cries of their baby girl filled the air, the world outside seemed to pause, acknowledging the profound beauty of new life. With trembling hands, Noah cut the umbilical cord, and Ikigai was placed into her mother's loving embrace, their hearts forever entwined. The moment was pure, unfiltered joy a testament to the enduring bond of love and the incredible journey they had just begun.

The world outside the hospital room was a blur of pastel colors and muffled voices as the couple marveled at the perfection of their newborn daughter. Ikigai's tiny fingers curled around y/n's thumb, her eyes searching for familiarity in the sea of unexplored faces. Noah, unable to resist the magnetic pull, leaned in to press a soft, reverent kiss to her forehead, his heart swelling with an emotion so intense it threatened to consume him. The nurse, noticing the proud father's quivering lip, handed him a camera with a knowing smile. As he snapped the first of what would be countless photos, capturing the fleeting moments of their daughter's arrival, y/n couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over her. Despite the exhaustion that clung to her like a second skin, she knew that in this moment, everything was exactly as it should be. Their little family of three had just begun their symphony of life together, and she couldn't wait for the melodies that were yet to unfold.

The days that followed Ikigai's birth were a whirlwind of sleepless nights and endless cuddles, as Noah and y/n navigated the uncharted waters of parenthood with a mix of excitement and trepidation. The rockstar lifestyle took a backseat as Noah traded his microphone for diaper changes and late-night feedings, his eyes never straying far from the tiny being who had so swiftly stolen his heart. The melodies of his band's hits were replaced by the sweet, soothing lullabies that filled their home, each note a declaration of love for their daughter. Y/n watched him with a quiet smile, her heart full as she saw him transform into a devoted father, the same passion that fueled his music now channeled into nurturing their child. Together, they learned the delicate dance of caring for their newborn, finding joy in the smallest of moments the way she cooed in her sleep, the softness of her skin, and the way she looked at them with an unspoken love that transcended words. The world outside continued to spin, but within the walls of their little sanctuary, time stood still, a gentle reminder that amidst the chaos, the true meaning of life had just begun.

The couple's bond grew stronger with each shared smile and giggle from their daughter. The rhythm of their lives shifted to match the tempo of Ikigai's needs, and amidst the chaos, a new harmony emerged. Noah found inspiration in his fatherhood, penning lyrics that reflected the profound love and responsibility that came with it. His music took on a deeper, more introspective tone, resonating with fans who could now see the softer side of the bad boy rockstar. Meanwhile, y/n discovered a newfound strength in herself, balancing her role as a mother with her own aspirations, her dedication to their family a testament to the power of a woman's heart. And in the quiet moments, when Ikigai slept peacefully in her crib, they would sit side by side, holding hands and whispering about their dreams for their daughter the adventures they would share, the lessons they would teach her, and the love that would guide her through the symphony of life. Their world had expanded in ways they never could have imagined, and as they watched her grow, they knew that their love for each other had grown even stronger, a foundation upon which their little girl would build her own life's masterpiece.

As the months rolled into a year, as the sun kissed the horizon with a gentle goodbye, Noah awoke to the sound of Ikigai's soft coos, her eyes fluttering open to meet his gaze. He picked her up, her warmth seeping into his soul as he cradled her close. The melody of her first giggles filled the room, a sweet reminder of the new chapter they had entered. y/n stirred, her eyes opening to the sight of her husband and daughter in a tender embrace. She couldn't help but feel a sense of completeness, a symphony of love playing in their little corner of the world. As they began their day, the rhythm of their lives with Ikigai grew stronger, each moment a verse in the ever evolving ballad of their shared journey. The house was alive with the music of their love, each day a new chorus in the grand symphony of their growing family.

The next evening, as the setting sun painted the sky with a warm embrace, Noah and y/n sat on the porch swing, Ikigai nestled between them. The air was filled with the sweet scent of jasmine, and a gentle breeze played with her hair as they watched the world slowly come alive with the whispers of twilight. Noah softly strummed his guitar, the melody of an unwritten song drifting through the air. It was in this tranquil moment that they felt the first whispers of a new tune, one that spoke of the uncharted territories of their future as a family.

"Hey, baby girl," Noah whispered, his voice as smooth as the melody he had composed for her. "You're going to love this one." He began to play a new tune, the strings of his guitar vibrating with the depth of his feelings.

Y/n leaned her head on his shoulder, her eyes closed in contentment. "It's beautiful," she murmured, feeling the music resonate within her.

"It's for you," Noah said, his eyes never leaving the fretboard. "For all of us, really. It's called 'Our Melody.' It's about the journey we've been on, and the one we're just beginning."

Ikigai stirred slightly in her sleep, a small smile playing on her lips as if she too could feel the love woven into the notes.

"Every beat, every chord," he continued, his voice a soft serenade. "It's all for you, Ikigai. You're the reason we're singing this song."

Y/n kissed his cheek, her eyes brimming with tears. "And we'll keep singing it," she said, her voice a soft crescendo of emotion. "Through every joy and challenge, we'll find our rhythm together."

Noah nodded, his eyes meeting hers with a silent promise. "Forever and ever," he said, his voice a gentle bass to the sweet lullaby of their lives.

The music continued to flow from his guitar, a testament to the love that surrounded them, a promise of a lifetime of harmony in the symphony of their shared existence.

The night grew cooler, wrapping them in a blanket of quiet companionship as the final notes of "Our Melody" faded into the twilight. Ikigai's breathing grew steady, a silent metronome to their whispers of hope and dreams. They watched as the stars above them winked into existence, each one a reminder of the constellation of moments that had led them to this very point. "Do you think she'll inherit your talent?" y/n asked, her voice a soft harmony to the night's serenade.

"I hope so," Noah said, his thumb gently stroking the strings of his guitar. "But more than anything, I want her to find her own tune, to live her life in a way that brings her happiness."

Y/n nodded, her gaze fixed on their sleeping daughter. "Together, we'll make sure she has all the notes she needs to compose her own masterpiece."

With that, they held each other closer, their hearts beating in time with the soft lullaby of the evening, ready to face whatever crescendos and decrescendos life had in store for them. For in the grand symphony of their love, Ikigai was their most precious composition, the melody that brought their hearts together in perfect harmony. Ikigai's eyes grew heavy, lulled by the music that had been her constant companion since conception. With a final yawn, she closed her eyes, her breathing deepening into the peaceful rhythm of sleep. They exchanged a knowing smile, their hearts in sync with the quiet symphony of their love. As the stars began their nightly performance, they rocked gently, the three of them bound by an unspoken promise to face the world's crescendos and silences together, their love the everlasting melody that would guide them through the symphony of life.

The days grew into weeks, and the weeks into months, each moment with Ikigai a new stanza in the love story of Noah and y/n. They watched her discover the world, her eyes lighting up with every new sound and sensation. Her first wobbly steps turned into confident strides, her babbling into words that grew into sentences, each one a note in the melody of their lives. And through it all, the music remained a constant, a thread that connected them as a family, weaving through the fabric of their days like a never ending chorus. Noah's career continued to flourish, but it was the concerts at home that truly brought him joy, his heart swelling with pride as Ikigai danced to the rhythm of his guitar. y/n's career blossomed alongside her role as a mother, her dedication to both a symphony of strength and grace. And as Ikigai grew, she began to show a natural affinity for music, her small hands plucking at the strings of her own miniature guitar, a mirror of her father's passion. The house was alive with the symphony of their love, each room a stage for the most important performance of their lives the raising of their daughter.

[veronicaphoenix]

IKIGAI (or A REASON FOR BEING) — CHAPTER ELEVEN

“The one who falls in love with you is gonna be very lucky,” she assured him. “It’s a shame it’s not going to be me. I’m taking our promise to the grave.”

Chapter tags: best friends, graduation, referenced alcohol intake, sexual innuendos, angst, slight comfort amidst the drama. | Word count: 4.151 |Cross posted on AO3. | Series masterpost. ✧.*

CHAPTER 11

Lia is 18. Noah is 19.

Lia looked down at the white stilettos adorning her feet. She bit her lip and after too much thought, she shook her head and let the fabric of the dress fall.

“No, I can’t wear this. I’ll be more comfortable with my boots,” she declared, her voice showing a hint of nervousness.

“Lia, my dear,” said Hana with a raised brow. She was standing behind Lia, her reflection also there in the mirror but slightly shorter than Lia’s. “You cannot wear your old boots to your prom.” 

“Of course I can,” she replied, lifting her head to make eye contact with the old lady through the reflection in the mirror. “No one will notice. The dress is long enough to cover them.”

Not really. There was a slit on the side that revealed most of her leg. Whoever would put their eyes on her would instantly notice her black boots.

“That’s not the point, sweetie,” Hana gently argued, slumping her shoulders and looking sweetly at Lia. 

She knew Lia was nervous and feeling shy. It was the first time she was getting dressed formally. It had taken her weeks of going to different shops and finding a dress that she liked and that she felt comfortable in. The one that she finally chose had been taken to the tailors to fit her frame, and now that she was wearing it in her bedroom, standing in front of the mirror, Lia became self-conscious as it showcased the curves of her breasts in the delicate V-neck. The dress was plain but beautiful, and the thin straps accentuated the elegance of the gown. Lia hadn’t wanted to overdo herself too much; she was excited at the fact that she graduated, but not that much about the party. She was happy about not having to attend any more classes and deal with high school bullshit. She would start a course on graphic design after summer, something that had her quite excited, and she would keep on selling her own stuff online. 

“I don’t even know how to walk on those,” she said, a bit sad as she wobbled slightly trying to find her balance. She shot Hana a look of uncertainty.

“You learn, Lia. Why don’t you take a walk along the hallway?” Hana suggested, encouraging her.

“That’s going to be useless,” Lia complained, but she did take a few steps around the room, circling her queen-sized bed. “At the end of the night my feet are going to be dead.”

“You’ll have to get used to it. What would you wear on your wedding day, then? Or in…?

Lia turned to face Hana with her brows raised.

"I'm not getting married," she declared, her tone unintentionally sharp. Hana seemed taken aback by the unexpected response, and Lia quickly softened her expression. "Or at least I don't want to think about that now."

“Alright. It makes sense,” Hana replied, choosing not to press the matter further.

“I’ll give them a try, though,” Lia conceded. “I’ll just ask Noah to keep my boots in the car in case I need to change.”

“That’s a good idea. Now come on, the boys are waiting downstairs.”

“Great,” Lia couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “As if this wasn’t embarrassing enough…”

“They’re eager to see you.”

Maybe, but the idea of being the center of attention didn’t appeal much to her, especially if she was dressed like that.

She took one last look at herself in the mirror. The dress was beautiful, it hugged her delicate curves, and it was light. She was wearing makeup enough to prove that she had tried, and her hair was falling on her back and chest with little curls at the ends. Hana had helped her to get ready, taking advantage of the feelings that rose whenever she was with Lia. She never had a granddaughter, and Lia, despite not sharing the same blood, was the closest that she would ever have to one.

Seated comfortable on the living room sofa, the guys waited for her. Jolly, Noah and Nicholas had been the ones to decide to go with her to the prom. Jesse and Matt had previous appointments and couldn’t make it, and Folio had gone on a fishing trip with his dad. Not that Lia minded too much. It had been Jolly’s idea to follow her to the party. She would have preferred to go alone, endure the silly dance and annoying speeches on her own, but he had insisted otherwise, and had successfully persuaded Noah and Nicholas to tag along.

Jolly was casually indulging in a bag of chips while Nicholas remained engrossed in his phone. Between them, Noah exuded an air of nonchalance, lounging in an apathetic posture — slouched, legs wide, arms resting on his thighs, and hands dangling. It was one of the only times he had worn a formal shirt, and he felt uncomfortable. His gaze wandered aimlessly around the room, but his thoughts were singularly focused. A subtle tic in one of his legs persisted until Lia appeared at the top of the stairs, at which point it miraculously ceased.

His eyes went to her, and he swore his heartbeat stopped for a second or two. Next to him, Jolly whistled after leaving the bag of chips on the table between the tv and the sofa, and then he stood up. Nicholas followed, and Noah had to be patted on the shoulder by one of his friends to react and do the same.

Lia rolled her eyes at Jolly’s whistle, but the warmth that spread across her cheeks betrayed her attempt to appear unfazed. She avoided looking at the boys as she made her way downstairs in delicate steps, followed by Hana, who was making sure the soft fabric of Lia’s gown trailing behind was not getting stuck anywhere. As Lia reached the ground floor and finally lifted her head, her eyes met Noah's. There was something in the way he looked at her that sent a pleasant shiver down her spine, making her heartbeat quicken.

He was looking so… handsome. His hair was tied in a small bun at the back of his head and he struggled to straighten the black button-up shirt he was wearing. He licked his lips, and she would never know how much it cost him to smile at her through the knot in his stomach.

“That’s a very nice dress,” Nicholas told her.

The room fell into an awkward stillness until Hana intervened, ushering them towards the door before they risked being late. Lia couldn't help but voice her concern.

"Guys, I know you have better plans than coming with me. If you want to stay and…”

“I thought we were done discussing this,” Jolly chimed in. “I even bought a tie and I feel proud of myself.”

Lia snorted at his comment and shook her head, her hair swaying around her bare shoulders.

Jolly and Nicholas made their way out towards the car, and Noah came to stand beside her.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, it’s just a bit difficult to walk with these on,” she confessed gesturing to her heels.

“I bet…” he muttered, a hint of amusement in his voice. “You look beautiful, though.”

A big smile crept into her face as a surge of warmth spread through her at his words.

“Thank you.”

He extended his arm to her, and she gladly took it.

The girls Lia was talking to in the middle of the gym’s dancefloor weren’t her friends, not really. But she had managed to become acquainted with them in her last years in high school and had a good relationship with them. She knew she would probably never see them again after that night. Most of them were going to college and she wasn’t.

They had been discussing their future plans and studies when one of them noticed Jolly entering the gym and striding confidently straight to the corner were Noah and Nicholas were standing, looking slightly out of place, obviously, holding their glasses with cheap ponche in their inked hands. The girls didn’t know the guys. They had never talked to them, but they knew how close Lia was to those guys, specially the tall one, who had been giving her rides to school every morning for the last few months.

Amidst the chatter, one of the girls casually said:

“It’s actually so hot to see tattooed guys in formal clothing”.

Lia's ears perked up, sensing the topic might be heading in an interesting direction. In a matter of seconds, she realized they were referring to Noah, Jolly, and Nicholas. An involuntary blush crept up her cheeks, and she stole a quick glance at the trio, praying that they weren’t looking in their direction.

Noah was.

“You’re definitely not the only one thinking that,” Clara pointed out, aiming her painted eyes at Lia. “You’re blushing, Lia.”

She huffed, attempting to play it off.

“They’re my friends,” she replied, taking a sip of her Fanta. “I don’t want to think about them that way.”

“Oh, come on.” The teasing had just started, and Neha probed: “You’re telling me you’ve never thought about Noah as something more than your best friend? I don’t believe that crap.” 

Lia felt a twist inside at the directness of the question. Maybe, just maybe, she had entertained such thoughts, but admitting it out loud was a line she wasn't ready to cross. Determined to deflect the conversation, she replied, "No, I haven’t. Believe whatever you want."

Feeling a sudden need for space, Lia excused herself and made her way out of the gym, the hum of the music fading as she walked to the nearest restroom. Alone with her thoughts, she took a deep breath, glancing at herself in the mirror. Her reflection revealed a mix of excitement and uncertainty that she didn’t really like. She splashed some water on her face, hoping the cool sensation would clear her mind.

As she stepped outside and rejoined the party and the twinkling lights, the rhythmic beats of the music and the chatter of excited voices, Lia felt a presence approaching her, and she didn’t understand why she was disapointed when she heard a a voice she didn’t recognize calling her name.

Lia found herself face to face with a boy from her class. His name, if she recalled correctly, was Matt, someone she'd exchanged mere pleasantries with during group projects but never really engaged in a substantial conversation.

"Hey," he greeted, a nervous smile playing on his lips. “I’m glad to see you here. You look lovely.”

“Thanks,” she replied, her gaze shifting to take in his appearance.

He wasn’t so bad, either. His navy-blue suit clung elegantly to his long frame, and his tousled hair, expertly styled with a touch of cream, added a dash of sophistication. The passage of time had not been lost on any of them; they, including the rest of classmates, had all undergone a transformation from awkward teenagers to young adults in the last couple of years, some evolving more rapidly than others.

“I never thought I would see you in a dress,” he confessed, his eyes subtly scanning her up and down.

Caught off guard by the remark, she felt a flush creeping into her cheeks, though not as pronounced as when she had shown herself to the boys back at home.

“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” Matt hastily clarified. “It’s just that… I saw you there and…”

“It’s ok. No problem, really.”

“Um, would you like to dance, maybe?”

She took a moment to assess the situation, considering the unspoken tension with Noah and the boys watching from the sidelines. Nevertheless, a desire to break away from the familiar prompted her to respond with a grin.

"Why not?" she replied, allowing a playful tone to lace her words. "Lead the way, Matt."

The dance floor beckoned, bathed in the soft glow of the changing-color lights. Matt guided Lia into the open space, the music providing the backdrop to their momentum. As they began to move to the rhythm, Lia stole a glance over her shoulder, locking eyes with Noah and her friends.

In that moment, amidst the dance and the pulsating beat of the music and as she twirled under Matt’s arm, Lia found herself caught between the known and the unknown, her heart dancing to a melody that echoed the unexplored depths of her feelings, that traced back to a promise made in the shore of the lake where she used to spend her afternoons as a teenager.

Meanwhile, Noah and the guys engaged in a conversation, their voices a low hum beneath the lively ambiance of the prom. Jolly, his mouth occupied with a sandwich, glanced at Noah and noticed a serious expression etched on his face.

“Why the long face, man?” Jolly inquired casually, his attention momentarily diverted as he reached for another sandwich from a tray.

“That moron is looking at her like he wants to eat her up,” he added, nonchalantly observing the dynamics unfolding on the dance floor, the way Matt’s hand was positioned on Lia’s lower back.

“Maybe that’s exactly what he wants,” Nick chimed in, his tone carrying a hint of mischief.

Turning his face to him, Noah shot him a killer look.

“Whoa,” Nick muttered, taking a step back at Noah’s sudden intensity.

“Man, what?” replied Jolly, raising an eyebrow as he opened his hand in a gesture of innocence. “You gotta stop being so overprotective. She’s eighteen. Let her live her life. She deserves it, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I just don’t want any motherfucker to break her heart. That’s all,” he admitted, his gaze fixed again on Lia and how alluring and beautiful she looked.

He had slowly started to notice her changes in the last few years, and he couldn’t ignore the woman that she was becoming, not just in the physical sense but also when it came to her mindset. She was more strong-willed than she’d even been, more confident, and the most important, happier.

“Sure it is…” Jolly mumbled with a knowing smirk as he moved to gather more food.

It was him who, a while later, went to find Lia and took her back to the dancefloor given that Matt had lost interest in her after ten minutes in the dancefloor. Lia actually held a power in her eyes that allowed her to communicate things without the need to speak, and Matt got the clue that she wasn’t interested in anything more than this night’s dance, and that he shouldn’t push her further.

When Jolly reached to where she was standing and she accepted her hand to walk back to the dancefloor, he noticed she was unable to keep her balance.

“Are those shoes already making you hate patriarchy a bit more than usual?”

“Definitely,” she replied. “But it’s not that.”

“What is it, then?”

"The girls brought alcohol. They’re hiding it in one of the classrooms... And I might have had a couple of vodka shots," Lia confessed, a touch of guilt accompanying her admission. She scrunched her nose as she looked at him.

Jolly's expression shifted to a mix of surprise and mild disappointment. "Lia... Are you serious?" he asked.

"No. I mean, yes. But I’m okay," Lia reassured, her words slightly slurred as she fought off the dizziness induced by the impromptu shots. "Just feeling a bit dizzy. Can you keep holding me?"

In that moment, Jolly found himself torn between scolding her for the reckless choices and acknowledging her vulnerable state and the fact that she could be spotted by any of the teachers. Without a word, he tightened his grip on her.The distant hum of the prom music, the soft glow of the lights, and the clandestine undertones of a high school celebration merged into a tableau of contrasts, where carefree moments met with a subtle undercurrent of responsibility.

Noah kept looking from afar, feeling something strange. Surely it was the proud feeling of seeing his best friend graduating, increased by the fact that he didn’t. 

“Has something happened? He looks upset,” Lia asked Jolly after noticing Noah’s attitude. 

Jolly kept his hands on her, steadying her. His eyes had been scanning the room, praying that no adults had their eyes on her.

“No. I think he’s just bored,” he answered a few seconds after, guiding his gaze to Noah. Then, lowering his voice, he said, “but I’m starting to think he likes this girl and he’s not having the balls to tell her.”

Lia, who was still seeking stability on his embrace despite the fact that his grip was enough to keep her from tumbling to the sides, raised her chin to look him in the eye. He was nearly as tall as Noah. It was a good thing she was wearing heels today, after all.

“What girl? He hasn’t told me anything.”

Jolly didn’t say anything, but it was in those two seconds that he spent looking deep into her brown eyes that he knew that his two friends were in for a ride. Oh, oh. If he only knew what was yet to come…

“Jolly, what girl?” She insisted.

He just kept on staring at her.

“Okay. I’m going to ask him myself,” she determined, but the moment she slipped away from Jolly’s grasp, she stumbled, and Jolly had to rush to hold her by the arm.

“Alright, kitten. I think we need to get you home.”

“I will go say goodbye to the girls, then,” as she turned around, she felt something going up her stomach and throat and her head started spinning. The music and the movement around her weren’t helping. “Oh, my god.”

“Let’s go outside before you puke, Lia. Come on.”

He held her close to him and help her get to the boys. Her vision was getting blurrier with every step she took, and the moment she reached Nicholas and Noah, she didn’t see the furrowed brows of his best friend and how he shot a glance at Jolly, a question in his expression, before she collapsed in his arms.

“Lia, what the hell?”

“I’m drunk,” she admitted, wrapping her arms around Noah’s body.

“Shit,” Nicholas muttered.

“We need to get out of here before the teachers notice,” Noah declared, already making his way to the exit while carrying Lia’s body glued to his. She started to laugh, and the laugh followed them home. Her state got worse as the car ride started. She was suddenly adamant on playing some songs in the car at full volume and kept unbuckling her seatbelt and leaning forward to touch the radio buttons while Noah kept grabbing her waist and pulling her back. At some point, she removed her shoes and let her head fall on Noah’s lap, only to be put back up with the words “if you lay down you might puke.” She didn’t feel like puking anymore. Everything was suddenly vibrant and exciting!

By the time they made it home and they stumbled wearily through the front door, the soft glow of the porch light revealed Lia’s disheveled appearance. Her hair was messed up and she was a laughing mess, too, but despite the chaotic journey, a stroke of luck had spared Lia (and the boys) from puking in the backseat, leaving her in a state of inebriated merriment.

Barefoot and exposed to the frigid touch of the concrete driveway at those hours, Noah, hiding his exhausting in a playful smile, suggested giving her a piggy ride, and she quickly clambered onto his back.

“This is so much fun! Everything looks different from up here!”

Noah, with a bemused roll of his eyes, secured her in his grasp, hands firmly gripping her thighs. Together and following Jolly and Nicholas, they ventured into the interior of the house, the raucous laughter fading into the background as they navigated the threshold between the night's chaos and the domestic tranquility within their home.

“I’ll put her to bed,” Noah said to the boys with a confidence that masked a flicker of uncertainty within.

“She’ll be okay?” Nicholas asked from behind him, still a shadow in the doorway.

"Yeah," Noah responded, though the reassurance carried a subtle undercurrent of hope rather than certainty. With that, he squeezed his inebriated cargo’s left thigh to get a confirmation giggle from her before proceeding to climb up the stairs.

“Why don’t you give me piggy rides more often?” Lia asked, perched comfortably on Noah’s back.

“You just have to ask,” he answered her, navigating his way to her bedroom.

“Okay, I’ll pay you back by riding you later,” she quipped, and pressed her cheek against his shoulder, oblivious to the sudden tension that gripped her best friend.

Noah’s blood froze momentarily, and his gaze shifted to the living room below, where Nicholas and Jolly exchanged amused glances, having overheard Lia’s comment. The irony wasn’t lost of them as it was on her, given that she was already “riding” Noah on his back.

“She’s so gone,” Nicholas commented, shaking his head.

Noah let out a sigh and kept on moving up until he managed to get her to her room with the weight of her intoxicated comment lingering as they reached her room.

Once there, he gently deposited her on the bed, her smile still present amidst the haze of her inebriation. Noah, looking down at her, decided it was time for a change – a literal one.

"You're so taaaaaaall," she exclaimed as Noah’s figure bent over her. “When did you get so tall?”

“A couple of summers’ ago. Come on up,” he helped her sit up, the drawl of admiration for his height still floating in her big eyes.

He eyed her, considering the options to get her to change into her pj’s. She was obviously not wearing a bra under that dress, and the realization made him sigh, desperate.

Such a torture. 

Noah gently coaxed Lia to her feet, his fingers intertwining with hers as he guided her to a standing position. As they stood in the quiet intimacy of her room, he laid out his plan with a touch of considerate reassurance, "I'm going to unzip your dress, and then I'll turn around, okay? I'll go and get a t-shirt in the meanwhile. Will you be able to put it on yourself?"

"Yeah, I think so," Lia replied, a hint of stability returning to her voice even as her body swayed with the remnants of the night's revelry. "I keep my sleeping shirt on the second… or third… or fourth drawer, I think."

While Lia stepped out of the dress, Noah retrieved one of the t-shirts Lia used to sleep in, and walked back to her, and even though he tried to avoid intruding on her moment of vulnerability, his side eye discreetly caught a glimpse of her semi naked figure, her long hair falling on her bare back.

“There,” with his back to hers, he handed her the t-shirt. He remained a steadfast presence behind her, respecting her privacy with a careful averted gaze.

"My head is spinning," she confessed as she slid the clothing piece over her head and down her body.

"I know, you should have kept it lighter," Noah replied.

He turned around at the same time she did, and his fingers instinctively went to her, sweeping away loose strands of hair that had fallen on her face. The gentle gesture made Lia close her eyes momentarily and hum.

 “You want to go to the bathroom and wash your face, remove the make-up?”

“I’m too tired,” she complained, her pout revealing the weariness that clung to her.  

“That’s okay,” Noah reassured her with a comforting tone. “You can shower tomorrow morning and sort yourself out. Let’s get you to bed. I’ll come in a while and leave an ibuprofen and a glass of water by the bed for you to take when you wake up tomorrow.”

With a nod, she made herself comfortable under her bedsheets, bought recently in a shopping spree after she had sold a bunch of designs online in a row.

“Noah,” she called as he was patting the covers over her. A loose strand of hair had escaped from his bun and was hanging lose close to her face. She would have liked to tuck it behind his ear, but she had already hidden her hands under the sheets.

“Yeah?” His voice was a mere whisper in the night.

“The one who falls in love with you is gonna be very lucky,” she assured him. “It’s a shame it’s not going to be me. I’m taking our promise to the grave.”

With a smile, she turned to the side, pressed her face to her pillow, and closed her eyes.

[yunxi-11085]

"The star of the void" part 2 - the voice

part 1 - meeting

part 2 - the voice

˚ · .↝ words : 1709

˚ · . pairs ¡ hsr men & women x gn! reader

˚ · . sypnosis ¡ "you wake up in the world of honkai star rail. you heard unknown voices in your head.

but 3 familiar people come to save you.

“

₊˚ପ⊹ tw ¡¿ : memory loss?

·˚ ༘ tags // @kimura-uzuri @yaesflorist @ukiyo-ikigai @khalinda-ev

@ send me an ask if you want to be tagged in my stories!!

find the way to your own story

you will soon find the people, who ▇▇▇▇▇▇

you jolt up with a headache, a sting of pain striking you and you hold your head. gripping your hair as to alleviate the pain.

what is that voice? who was speaking to you?

the sound echoed in your ears before you finally stop hearing it.

"ugh.." you blink tears out as the pain finally goes away. where... where am I? you stand up abruptly, and then your head stung in pain again.

you stumble and hold onto the wall for support. as you attempt to stabilize your head, you take a good look of your unknown surroundings.

and huh?

isn't this the space station in hsr?

you can see through a window the central area where the doomsday beast in the game appears in. and... the antimatter legion?

confused, you stare for a few minutes before finally moving your legs. your walk was unstable as you leapt onto a nearby wall for support.

you hoped to find something to explain in this unfamiliar researching room. the large screens flash numerous codes as if it were hacked.

you walk over to a table with documents and look cautiously.

'[▇▇▇▇▇▇ number #57▒18

track rec▒rd : unknown

cryptic cryp▒c crypti▒ crypt▒▒▒ ▒▒ ▒]'

the rest of the paper were glitched out, as if paper had a code as well. strange, documents aren't usually written like this aren't they?

your hand reached out to flip the paper, but a blooming purple flashing light came out the moment your fingers glazed a tiny bit of the paper.

the purple lights started moving towards you and you back up, but that didn't stop them from getting closer until it touched you.

flash!

"urgh!"

you fall down and you feel something crawling in you, all the way into your chest area. you gasp and hold your chest, you groan in pain as the pain enveloped your body and you pass out.

'hurry. our time is almost up'

--

"-yy!! there's an unconscious person here too!" you hear a bright voice near you, but your eyes felt heavy.

"-rch, you go save them this time"

"w-haaaaa??? I told you i don't know how to do CPR!!!"

"well someone's life is at stake here, unless you want to carry a body all the way to asta"

“uwaaa?? fine…..”

you can’t help but think, that those voices sound oh so strikingly similar to those characters.

footsteps of three walked closer to you but you couldn't open your eyes somehow.

you felt warm hands touching your shoulder, and you blink. huh? pink haired, black haired, and... gray haired?

why do they look exactly like they are in the game? are they in cosplay?

"they're awake!" mar— the pink haired said.

"hey, what's your name?" Dan... heng? asked, but you were silent. still trying to comprehend and understand this situation.

"or do you not remember anything?" you flinch.

that's a good question. why can't you remember anything? you remember your name, but why does everything else feel washed out? like as if someone wiped them. only to let you remember your own name, and the... game?

"my name... is..." you said slowly, squinting your eyes and you attempt to remember.

what about your family? your friends?

why are you here? how did you get here?

weren't you just doing— what?

what were you doin—

a little touch on your shoulder snaps you out of your thoughts, you look back at the black haired man and notice their concerned eyes.

"hey, it's okay if you don't remember. don't push yourself." he said slowly. you nod and the pink haired girl helps you up.

"my name is march 7th! this guy over here is dan heng, and he is caelus!" march proudly says and you freeze in place.

it's as if you really entered the world of your favorite game.

you open your mouth but close it when you realize you didn't have any words to say. you nod while march holds you up by your arms.

sounds started coming from dan heng's watch, he looks at it and says "we have to get going now. it appears I have to leave to take care of other matters. so I'll be leaving them to you march."

"mhm okay! don't worry about it!" march exclaims, waving dan heng goodbye.

"since we might be seeing some antimatter legions around here... we must find you both a weapon!"

march picks up a baseball bat out of nowhere and hands it to caelus, who holds onto it like a confused dog.

"hmm... as for you, we might need to ask himeko about this"

you walk with the two before noticing a monster lurking and walking in the next room. the two noticed as well, they nodded before getting into battle.

you stand... watching them.

oh it was so different seeing them in real time instead of in game

you saw the movements caelus made, the sound of his jacket slapping each other when he hit the monster with the bat, and the sound of when he broke his fingers after the impact.

you nearly rush in before march covers for him and shields him. you think it's better if you wait til the battle is over and then go and help him.

march was cute. like no joke really cute. you would've said the game gave no justice to her but they give enough justice so you let it slide. her face was cheeky and her outfit just fit her style.

the battle was over it seems when you notice the last monster falling down, and you immediately rush over to caelus.

he winces in pain and you tell him, "don't move"

you don't know how to bandage someone up you also notice. you rip off a piece of your jacket and wrap it on his fingers. march leans down and helps you tie it up.

"don't move your hands too much.. your bones are broken" you say, holding his bandaged hand and you look up at him.

you didn't realize how close you were when you could look into his eyes— those golden pupils, it looked fascinating—

you were too close to—

you let go of his hand and scramble back, nearly falling over when you stand up abruptly.

"um... let's go" you say, turning around with a red face.

the two follow you behind. one looking at you both questionably, and the other... observing you.

you reach the center where there is an elevator and you know it is broken, you watch as caelus attempted to unlock the elevator to no avail.

"they must've locked it up because of the invasion... now what do we do?" march said

"hey, I'm back." a familiar voice appeared behind you, you turned around to see dan heng.

"it appears the elevator has been locked, I'm sure arlan had the solution to that." he said.

the trio and you hurry to where arlan was and he hands you the key. though he doesn't recognize you or caelus, the fact that he gave you the key means that he trusts you.

you didn't know what to do with that trust. maybe it was because you were with the astral express or your interaction with them seemed like you were their newest member.

you hold your breath and unlock the elevator with the key. it goes to the highest floor and stops.

monsters are awaiting your arrival it seems, and the three— starts rushing over like no tomorrow.

you can't help but feel your heart tighten at the sight. you just really love the trio. the thought of family brings warmth in you.

you meet himeko soon after and you think, she looks really, really pretty. she smiles at you fondly and welcomes both you and caelus to the astral express. you smile back.

and then, huge warning signs appear as the conversation with asta continued. you stood in place before being dragged by himeko.

and then they face off the doomsday beast. even if the game wasn't as intense, you couldnt help the feeling of dread when you see the <em>big</em> and terrifying monster.

but you were thankful they could dodge some of the attacks.

and then— the blast fires at march. you want to run but you freeze in sight. your legs were wobbly and you see caelus shielding her and taking the blow

when the stellaron within him went out of control. you— collapse.

something hot is building in your chest and it hurts, it hurts really bad. dan heng catches you right before you fall to the ground.

d' don't let it ▒▒ ▒▒ ▒▒!!!!

the voice comes back again, albeit a little hallower.

you hear some shouts and see a new figure appear in front of caelus. you close your eyes in relief.

end note ¡ let's get some caelus cake goin???! he's observing because he literally just woke up and didn't know what his heart beating reallly fast meant lol

sorry if you wanted to partake in the battle and help out! i'm still thinking about whether the reader will take the path of abundance/harmony because then there'll be wholesome interactions between Natasha, bailu, and luocha... but I also want reader to be a DPS or attack to get some rlly good interactions where the character scolds them and bandages them up.... next chapter and more motivation to think I guess!!

next chapter depends on how many times I open my writing app.... so maybe in a few days.

feel free to type your suggestions or ideas in my ask box or in the replies/comments! I'd be happy to read them!

crossposted on AO3 ¡ here

[konohamaru-sensei]

parental troubles.

Merry Christmas @akamikazae!!! <3 I hope you enjoy your day and have a few times off <3 I know we don't talk as much as I would like, but I very much like you a lot and I'm glad you joined the anxiety squad so we can talk more! I attempted to write your lady and I hope you forgive me if its not exactly what you have in mind. I wanted to write her with Ko first but then I decided on this situation in my AU! Hope that is ok!! <3

--

ikigai au, sharingan cult arc. uchiha kids are being attached so their parents come to the rescue so their sharingan can be stolen

sasuke and sakura had twins before sarada. both twins are @wrdn-tabris oc's - ren and takeshi (3)

itachi is alive, married to @uchiharomance's haruka and they have two kids (shisui (4) and mikoto (2))

there is also one mention of my sayuri and her son obito (5)

--

She didn’t have to ring twice before the door was ripped open. Sasuke’s hair was dishevelled as if he had run his hand through it one too many times and both his eyes were visible. Probably he hadn’t looked into the mirror for hours. He looked positively stressed out, which was such a strange view for him, especially in recent years.

“Upstairs,” he said and turned around without even saying hello and she just about found the time to discard her shoes and follow him before he disappeared around the corner to the stairs leading to the second floor. It had been about a year at this point since she’d last seen him, but tonight she’d suddenly gotten a call from his house and an urgent “Please come over”, so of course she had hurried there without a second thought.

Sasuke turned into one of the boy’s rooms. When Akami also entered, she could see what the problem was: Ren was turning on his bed, face red and sweating and eyes pressed close as if he was in restless sleep.

“We thought he was okay, but he suddenly started running a fever,” Sasuke said and sounded a little desperate. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to help him.”

She felt flattered that he had thought of calling her first and foremost, but there was also a part of her that was amused at witnessing his first struggle as a parent. “Where are the others? Sakura-chan and Takeshi?”

“Hospital,” Sasuke said and, refusing to elaborate, continued: “Can you ease this for him?”

Akami crossed her arms: “No.”

“Why not?” The look of betrayal in his eyes almost made her laugh out loud.

“Your son needs his father to take care of him,” she said matter of factly. “You can do it, every parent can and if you don’t know how, you will learn it now.”

It was true that his mission often took him away from his family and that Sakura, being a world class doctor, would probably be more responsible for exactly these situations, but Sasuke needed to be able to handle it too. They had two kids after all. 

“Get a towel.” Akami gestured to the door. “Cold water in a bowl, look for fever medicine wherever your medicine cabinet is, come back.” She snapped her finger - he walked out instantly

She wondered for a second if Sasuke even knew where towels and such were in his own house, given how seldomly he checked in, but when she heard cupboards open and bowls being moved she felt at ease. She’d long since felt that he was probably back in Konoha more often than he was willing to tell the Hokage, Itachi or even her.

Ren groaned and she put her hand on his forehead. He was quite heated up, but not life threatening if he would get some medicine and sleep. She wondered what had happened, especially with Sakura in the hospital with Takeshi too. There had been some commotion in the village during the day. She wondered if that was related and hoped it wasn’t. 

Sasuke came spriting back, water spilling over the edges of his bowl. He sat down in front of his son and then looked up at Akami. “You are smart, you figure out what to do next”, she said and leaned against the cupboard behind her.

“Medicine,” Sasuke murmured and put the bowl down. She watched him open the little bottle and fill a bit of it on a spoon he had brought. His hand was slightly shaking when he brought it up to Ren’s mouth and forced the boy to drink it.

Ever since she’d known him he had been such a serious person, often frowning, always questioning. As an adult he had grown even more distant, wore mostly black and covered half his face so that even less of him could be seen, but here he was, his full worry and fear of being a bad parent on display. In the end his good heart always won

Ren took the medicine and Sasuke dowsed the towel in the water he had brought and put it on his forehead. The little boy whined a little at the sudden cold, but then eased back into his pillows. Soon he’d be asleep from the medicine and then his little body could recover.

Sasuke got back on his feet and wiped his own sweat off his head. “This is more stressful than getting away from a group of rampant cultists,” he murmured.

“So will you tell me what happened to Takeshi?” Akami put her head to the side. “Both kids caught the cold?”

“They were attacked in the morning,” Sasuke grinded his teeth together. “Coordinated attack on all the people related to the Uchiha, but they targeted the children first. Not only them, Itachi's and Kakashi’s son Obito. I was lucky to be in the area and having a gut feeling that something was up. I found the boys surrounded in the forest, but Takeshi was already seriously injured…”

Akami sucked in a breath of air and clenched her fist. 

“..I took him to the hospital and Sakura took over. We thought Ren was alright, if shaken up, but now he suddenly got a fever…” He looked down at the child.

Who would do such a thing? Attack a bunch of 3 year olds to get to their parents? “What did you do with the attackers?”

“Cut their heads off,” Sasuke said coldly.

She smiled. “Good boy.” If he hadn’t done it, she surely would have. 

“What about the other kids?” she asked, while mentally already replanning her morning so she could drop by the hospital and bring Takeshi some get-well-soon sweets.

“Itachi got to the guy before he could even touch Shisui,” Sasuke said and sounded a little proud. “Guess they thought they could fool a blind guy, but Itachi is Itachi.” Indeed, Akami thought, Itachi might have stopped being an active shinobi but he had always been outstandingly talented. “Haruka was sleeping with Mikoto in the inner house so they didn’t even notice what was going on.” Mikoto was so tiny, Akami didn’t even want to imagine what would have happened if they’d gotten to her.

“Obito was alone,” Sasuke sighed. “But Naruto heard him yell and came to his rescue. He brought the boy to Kakashi where we all found ourselves eventually.”

So that was what all the commotion had been about. Akami had seen soldiers running back and forth, but in the nature of Konoha being a ninja village this hadn’t seemed that extraordinary. “So what was it?”

“Someone wanted something from an Uchiha. Maybe revenge? They got access to the village without being spotted by the security system. Looks like we have a traitor around.” He let out a deep breath. “Everything seems to be adjusted for now. The biggest concern right now is that Kakashi’s wife is out somewhere on a solo mission.”

That explained why she had seen Saya leave the village in full ANBU updo. It was so rare for her to run missions these days. 

Ren turned over and groaned a little. Sasuke instantly reacted and pulled the towel from his forehead to douse it in cold water again. Akami remembered suddenly how it had been when Sasuke had been first sick under her care. You never wanted to see your own kids suffer like that.

“They will be fine,” she said. “Both of them are strong and have strong parents.”

He didn’t turn to her. “I wonder if I’m ever going to be cut out for this.”

“You already are. You called me, because you know you needed help. If you weren’t cut out for this, you would have just left him there.” Akami slowly tried to get his hair back in order as if he was still 10 and too late for school. “You will never stop learning with these things, but you’re not doing too bad.”

“Maybe I’ll stay a little,” Sasuke said.

“That would be good, you need to keep an eye on him tonight.” She looked at the sleeping boy.

Sasuke got back up. “No, I mean here. Maybe I’ll stay here to make sure everything is fine. Put my mission on hold.” He clenched his fist. “Make sure they don’t come back.”

“Call me immediately if they do,” Akami poked into his chest. “So I can partake in the beheading.” He snickered a little. “Also, just call me in the morning, tell me how he is, how Takeshi is.”

He smiled and oddly reminded her of the person he was before he left the village all those years ago. “I will.Thanks for everything.”

[starheartconstellations]

IKIGAI

Chapter 8 - Waves of Grief

Growing more and more numb and apathetic to all that surrounds her, Alexia decides to pay a visit to the room in Wesker's manor that houses a few belongings from Rockfort, but is not prepared for what she finds...

🌟 Ko-fi / Linktree 🌟

[annie-is-growing]

03 May 2023

after an incredible vacation in japan, i have a lot on my plate this week. today, i have set a target to complete the entire biology syllabus for neet. additionally, i have to clean my room and wardrobe and finish unpacking all of my stuff. i’ve been journaling more often lately and its extremely therapeutic to me. 

i want to finish reading ikigai today so that i could begin my ‘japanese-styled’ rejuvenation and manifestation from tomorrow and get back into track with my self-care routines. i also need to write a couple of scholarship essays, attend a college webinar and write an article on the topic ‘censorship of art and freedom of speech’.

i hope to have a productive day and i hope you all are doing well.

xoxo

[0vereasy]

Life’s Creation and Love’s Manifestation (Dr ratio x reader)- Chapter 4: Late Appraisal

Summary: Your promotion as one of the heads of the Security Department at Herta’s Station was full of many headaches, one of the biggest being a visiting scholar from the Intelligentsia Guild, and delegate of the IPC, Dr. Ratio.

When you were forced to team up with him to solve several crises emerging at the Station, how will your tense relationship change? And what exactly is the Doctor hiding?

Taglist: @96jnie @boomie-123 @a2tral @ukiyo-ikigai @poemzcheng @kpopmenace143 @tseleven @rains-mae @comet-kun @thatanimewriter @lowlucifer @snailsposts @earthtooz @delightfuldragoncollection @soobinsgirlfriend @lvfel

COMMENT OR SEND ASK TO BE TAGGED

Masterlist

A/N: You can probably tell I’m pretty tired by the writing + shorter chapter, but I wanted to get something out. The original draft was longer but I wasn’t happy with the later half, so I thought I would just for with a smaller chapter this time and keep working at the later half for a better finished produce. This mainly serves as a transitional chapter anyway, with more action expected in the next one.

You know that stereotype where fanfic authors literally go through the craziest shit when they’re writing? Well the last few weeks I won my first trial as a law student, got a few good resolution for other clients all at once, ans started getting closer with my crush. So… I’ve been pretty busy as you can see lol. I have a term break in a few weeks, which is likely when the next chapter will come out, and where I will try to pre-write another chapter or two. Thank you all for being patient with the delay!

Chapter 4: Late Appraisal (3.8k+ words)

“I just don’t understand how this even happened!” you watched the short white-haired man pace around Herta’s office, his forehead crinkled in concentration and mouth twisted into a worried frown. You felt your head pulse with each of his footsteps, thumping in beat with the heavy taps of his feet on the tile floor, the ache getting worse with each motion he made. Aeons, you wish they never found you napping in the Seclusion Zone. At least then you could’ve dealt with your hangover in peace and quiet, “How could multiple researchers and a Herta puppet all go missing in one afternoon? Especially with our upgraded security! It just makes no sense.”

“If you let me go look at the security system, I could tell you,” you deadpanned, eyes trailing over to the office door briefly, as if contemplating some way to escape, before flickering back to your boss, “I don’t even get why you called me here, aren’t we wasting time with this meeting when we could be trying to fix things?”

“Wasting time?” Arlan rebutted, stopping his pacing and crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes narrowed as he looked at you, giving you little hope of making your escape from the office, “You know what’s a waste of time? Trying to track you down just to find out you were passed out drunk in the Seclusion Zone! Do you know how much time we wasted just trying to find you?”

“It was literally my day off, Arlan,” you huffed in reply, mirroring his stance by crossing your own arms over your chest, “I don’t have to tell you where I am all the time. Not anymore at least.” You let the implication of the words hang in the air, something that didn’t go over well with your usually mellow boss, who seemed to be getting angrier by the minute. But hey, if he was gonna push your buttons, you weren’t just gonna sit there and take it. 

“We’re in an emergency, Y/N!” he practically shouted at you, “It doesn’t matter if it's your day off! What would’ve you done if it was your day off when the Legion attacked? Stayed in your room and brushed it off?” You felt your body stiffen at his words, arms moving from their crossed state to hang loosely at your sides. You hated this; when you argued, when he used his knowledge of you and what would set you off for his own advantage. It was almost downright cruel. 

“Don’t talk about the Legion attack,” your reply was quick, emotionless as if you were trying to avoid thinking of it yourself, “You know that’s different. A lot different.” At this point, you were willing to run out of the Herta’s Office, meeting be damned. The ache in your head paused for a moment replaced by a dull pain in your chest, mind swirling with thoughts you’d rather forget. You were almost afraid of how you appeared to your boss right now. 

You watched Arlan’s eyes for the shift in emotion, hoping, praying that he was able to see where you were coming from. You saw it for a moment, like a flicker of hope burning within his purple orbs, before he blinked, sending the sympathy away from wherever it came from, “Is it though? For all we know, all of those researchers are dead! Adler could be dead!” You clenched your fist at the mention of the boy, the pounding in your head seeming to grow again. 

“I get it!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms in the air in frustration, “Which is why I wanna look at the security system to see how this happened! But instead were here arguing about stupid shit that doesn’t matter right now!” You watched as he began to pace around Herta’s office again, Herta’s holographic image of herself staring at the both of you, along with the other genius society portraits, as if they all were looking down on this conversation too. You couldn’t blame them. 

“You know why were having this conversation,” Arlan was quieter now, but still stern, “We needed you, and you there was no way to contact you!” He let out a shaky sigh before talking again, “We even started to think you were taken too!” You took a deep breath, attempting to let the anger inside of you simmer down at the genuine tone of his voice. 

“I already know that,” you sighed, “ Screwllum told me it all when he came to wake me up,” you raised an eyebrow, “You should’ve asked him sooner, I mean,” you tugged on your button-down shirt, holding back a wince at how the sudden action made your head pound harder, “You already know our relationship. If anyone knew where I was, it would be him” You released the shirt, begrudgingly moving a hand to hold your head now, unable to pretend that you didn’t feel like shit any longer. Arlan looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read; disgust? Pity? You’d honestly rather not know. 

“How much did you drink yesterday?” Arlan asked you, pausing his pacing again to change the subject, his expression still holding anger, but voice quiet, as if he was preparing to hear bad news. You thought about putting up a fuss for a moment, but sighed, preparing yourself to relent on this point, as if the alcohol was holding you back from hiding the extent of your poor state. 

“A bottle of wine,” you said simply, crossing your arms across your chest again. You almost looked stupid, standing in the office in your sweatpants and Screwllum’s shirt, confessing your problems, while Arlan stared back at you in proper uniform, leaving the power imbalance between you two evident visually and audibly,  “And a bit of Vodka,” you left the part about the vodka being in your water bottle unspoken, not prepared to deal his rant on that topic that the two of you had gone through hundreds of times before, though the pitying look on his face told you that he already knew.

“You really have to stop this,” Arlan said, voice losing the anger now, holding nothing but pity. Honestly, you preferred him angry. When Arlan became sentimental and looked at you like you were a lost cause or some sort of fuck up, for some reason nothing in the world felt worse. You didn’t know what it was; the way his lips curved into a frown like no other he ever displayed, or how his big eyes became downturned, a flicker of pain etched onto them and the rest of his features, “You can’t keep doing this to yourself…”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” you stared into his pitying eyes, hand from your head moving back to your side as you forced both your features and stance into neutrality as if that would fight off the emotions that threatened to spill from you.

“You don’t have a choice,” he said firmly, though not unkindly, “You know what I think about your drinking… what Asta thinks,” he let that name hang in the air for a moment, sending a shiver down your spine that made you wince, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by your boss. Arlan sighed, the sternness from before fading away into his usual kind demeanour, “You know I can’t control what you do; you’re an adult. But when your drinking gets in the way of your job; when you pass out somewhere where we can’t find you when we need you, thats when it becomes an issue.”

“Arlan,” you spoke his name, whether in warning for him to stop, or in frustration at the change in track of conversation, you couldn’t say.

“You know the Station is vulnerable after the attack… you know it better than anyone,” he said softly, “So we need you to be at 100% all the time… I know I already extended your hours after the whole incident from a few days ago,” you gritted your teeth at the previous punishment you had received due to your actions on the night that the stupid alcaster face bastard arrived, “but I don’t think that’s enough for what we need from you right now.”

“What are you suggesting?” you huffed, tapping a finger against your thigh impatiently. It clearly wasn’t the first time you received punishment and definitely wouldn’t be the last. At least that was something familiar in your life, you mused - at least something in your life could follow a steady routine. 

“... You can’t drink any alcohol for the rest of the month,” he said firmly, quickly speaking again when he saw you open your mouth in protest, “Okay, maybe not the month… but at least until we get the researchers back and solve the confidence issues… I need you sober right now, Y/N.”

“You know its not that easy to just… stop,” you muttered, eyes moving to look at your feet. Even now, early in the morning, probably a bit over 12 hours from your last drink, you felt jittery, like you needed something to quell your nerves. Without the alcohol, and even with the pounding head, things were too… vivid, real. It was overwhelming to experience the sensations in the world how they were meant to be seen without the dull drag of a foggy blanket taking over your mind. How were you supposed to go a few days like this? 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, catching your glance as you looked back at him, “I don’t have a choice right now… let's talk more later, go, try to figure out why the security system went down last night.”

You opened your mouth, as if to respond, but allowed it to close again, turning your back to the man, “Whatever… talk to you later… Brother Arlan,” you left Herta’s office before he could respond to your use of his common teasing nickname around the station, not being in the mood to deal with another yelling match today. You unceremoniously slam the door behind you before you practically drag your body towards the elevator. Around you, you could hear the panicked gossip of various researchers, a sound that did nothing to calm the pounded headache that continued to make every movement a hassle. Part of you thought about talking to them - telling them that everything was under control. 

The other part of you recognized that you probably looked like a hot mess right now, and didn’t bother. They already didn’t trust you anyway - you weren’t stupid. If anything, approaching them would probably make things worse than it already was. So, you dragged your body down the stairs, onto the main floor of the master control zone and to the elevator, fully intent on not acknowledging anyone’s existence. 

It was only the sniffles of one specific person that made you do a double-take before you could press the button to call the elevator. Wen Shiling was a few feet behind you, trying to hide her sobs in her sleeve, but failing to do so, her small body physically shaking, evident even from your distance away from her. It was times like these when you wondered how children were even allowed to be researchers on this Station in the first place - it made you wonder how they could handle the stress that even you struggled to deal with. You paused, mind flickering between Wen Shiling and the elevator, sighing when you ultimately decided on the former, trudging your quiet body towards hers.

“Wen Shiling?” you spoke softly, bending down to be closer to her height, the action paining your head. Honestly, with your hangover and usual tone of conversation, you really had no idea how to approach comforting her… or anyone really, “What’s wrong sweetie, are you okay?” you hesitated before reaching a hand out, touching her gently on the shoulder. Her eyes seemed to water as she took in your form, a long sob escaping her lips. She looked from your hand to you, as if contemplated whether she wanted to move away, though she kept herself firmly planted in place. 

“No, I’m mad!” she cried, wiping her teary eyes on her sleeve. She offered you know no other words, too focused on stifling her sobs, which were still obnoxiously loud. You resisted the urge to cover your ears to block out the noise despite her cries doing nothing to soothe your headache. You gently rubbed your hand up and down her back, hoping that it offered some form of comfort to the girl. 

Though she wasn’t clear about the source of her anger, it was clear enough to guess, “You don’t have to worry about Adler, we’ll definitely bring him back soon.” Of course you left out the part where you had no idea where the little boy was or if he was even alive… but you really didn’t want to get into discussing the philosophy of life and death with a eight year old. Your mind flickered to Adler’s stupid book you had borrowed, the one you hadn’t cracked open since the night your… enjoyable evening with Screwllum was interrupted by the damned doctor you had been forced to accommodate. What if you never saw him again… what if he never got to talk to you about the book? You internally shook your head, focusing again on Wen Shiling in front of you. Aeons, if only you could have a drink to take the edge off…

“I don’t want him back… he’s stupid!” she sobbed again. You tried not to cringe at the snot covering the sleeves of her dress, forcing yourself to focus on her words, “He doesn’t talk to me and then disappears…! I don’t even want him here!”

“I’m sure he was just busy,” you attempt to soothe the girl, cursing the Aeons for failing to give you skills in soothing children. Deciding your ability to comfort children was lacking, you decided to only logically thing you could do was change your tone to match your usual personality, “You know, once we get him back I’m sure he’ll be sorry for how he treated you. That’ll serve him right, huh?.”

“He’ll be sorry?” she echoed your words, blinking dumbly up at you. You nodded in encouragement, hoping that you finally found some method to calm her crying. You forced yourself to plaster the a smile on your face, as if everything was fine and you weren’t currently feeling like death from a hangover and dealing with the aftermath of another invasion and your alcohol problem all at the same time. 

“Of course! Im sure we can even make him take an afternoon off his stupid ecology research,” you said with smirk, happy to at least let your genuine thoughts shine through for a moment before the inevitable hours of seriousness ahead, “I heard he’s horrible at board games, we could force him to play one beat him to a pulp.”

Wen Shiling smiled a bit, though her frown returned soon after, “Big sis… Can I ask you something? But you have to tell me the truth.”

Feeling like you were getting the farthest using your typical personality, you let your genuine thoughts ring through in your answer “Sure, I’m not a liar,” you shrugged, crossing your arms over your chest, “what’s up?”

“…” she hesitated for a moment before speaking, “Do you really think Adler is okay? … You think we’ll find him?” You stared at her for a moment, taking in her big brown tearful eyes and the snotty sleeves on her dress, an expression mixed with hopefulness and worry plastered all over her features. You forced a confident smirk on your face, placing your hands on your hips in mock confidence.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” 

It wasn’t your first time lying to a kid, and you were sure it wouldn’t be the last either. 

~~~~

Your head continued to pound as the elevator descended, countless sounds filling your head. Arlan’s yelling… Wen Shiling’s crying… it all fluttered around your brain like snow, casting an endless stream of emotions on your already overwhelmed brain. Your mind drifted to your water bottle which you knew sat on your desk in your room… would Arlan even know if you took a sip from it… He couldn’t right? How would he? There was no way he could actually expect to accurately record your sobriety, you thought to yourself. No, you just had to be sneaky with it - a few sips here and there to quell your thoughts… thats all you would need… just something to take the edge off. Even the thought of the alcohol seemed to quiet your brain, like a blanket may drive off heat on a cold night. If you were in your right mind, maybe you would realize how worrisome your thoughts truly were… but right now you really didn’t care.

“When an elevator arrives at its destination, you are expected to dismount it,” you blinked back into focus at the familiar irritating voice, eyes falling on to the Doctor. Dressed in his usual clothes, though lacking his alabaster head, he stared at you with a raised eyebrow, as if you were some sort of unusual specimen in his lab. In all honesty, you couldn’t blame him. You hadn’t even realized your elevator had arrived at the floor with everyone’s personal quarters, too caught up in your thoughts to notice, which left you standing blankly forward despite the door already having opened. 

“And when someone doesn’t get out, you’re expected to politely address them, not be a snarky asshole,” you shot back, forcing yourself to leave the elevator. Not ready to end the conversation, but not wanting the elevator to go away, the Doctor stepped inside, pressing the door open button.

“Your insults lack creativity when you are hung over,” he deadpanned, sighing - whether in disappointment or disgust, you didn’t know, “I suppose it doesn’t matter. I was looking for you, you need to come with me.”

You rose an eyebrow at the Doctor, “Uh, kinda in the middle of trying to solve a crisis right now,” you deadpanned, “I’m sure you’ve heard about it… ya know, missing researchers, faulty security system. Don’t really have time for whatever bullshit you’re up to right now.”

“You wound me,” he states, though his face shows no sign of any emotion, “Since when do I act without purpose?” He looked at you with disgust, as if he was shocked at the suggestion, “Of course I am aware of the current predicament and I wish to help you.” 

You cock an eyebrow at him, arms crossed in front of your chest, “And why would you do that exactly? What’s in it for you?” skepticism dripped from your tone, a fact that you knew was all too apparent for the Doctor, who met your gaze defiantly, “Literally all you’ve done since getting here is be a pain in the ass and then almost get me killed - your actions don’t really scream helpful.”

“I seem to recall I was helpful enough in procuring wine for you and allowing you to sleep in my presence,” he smirked cockily, brushing a stray strand of hair from his forehead, “Or do actions such as those not qualify as helpful in your dictionary?”

“The only thing that helped with is getting me chewed out by my boss, so thanks for that I guess, what a help you are,” you rolled your eyes, tempted to walk away, but for some reason forcing yourself to stay put, “I don’t know what the hell was in that wine you gave me, but I swear I’m not usually that… clingy.” You thought you should say more, but chose to stay silent deciding you already made enough of a fool of yourself, “Honestly I don’t even remember most of the shit I did last night.”

“Alcohol interferes with one’s ability to form long term memories, such a fact is really not suprising,” he said matter-of-factly, a cocky smirk coating his features. You barley knew this man, but he seemed to always revel in the ability of making people feel dumb, “Luckily for you, I retained my own memory of the evening, if you wish to recall more.”

“I’d rather not learn more things Arlan can yell at me about, thanks,” you huffed, forcing the conversation back to its original topic, “So really, why do you wanna help me? What’s in it for you?”

“Many things really,” he said casually, finger still firmly pressing the open button on the elevator door, “The satisfaction of helping idiots some a simple problem, the joy of reuniting the researchers with their companions… or the pleasure of building a diplomatic relationship between the IPC and the Space Station as I was directed.”

“Should’ve known of course it was about the diplomacy,” you smirked at him, propping an arm next to the elevator door, “You clearly wouldn’t act kindly on your own accord. Got your own boss who you’re afraid will chew you out like mine?”

The Doctor’s face soured at the mention of a boss, “I’d rather not think of my acquaintances at the IPC, they are not the most fond people to be around.” The scowl on his face made you interested in learning more, but the Doctor was quick to change the subject, “I merely offered my assistance to Miss Asta and she accepted. The mere certitude that doing so will satisfy my companions is simply a bonus.”

“Whatever, I don’t care if Asta got you to help, I have my own work to do,” you brushed him off, turning to move away from the elevator. You were startled when a firm hand grasped your arm, preventing you from leaving. The Doctor’s skin was warm, radiating heat through Screwllum’s dress shirt. His touch mass you freeze in your tracks, glancing over your shoulder at the Doctor. 

“I’m not asking you,” he said plainly, as if disgusted that you hadn’t picked up on that sooner, “You prescene has been requested.” You felt mesmerized for a moment by his presence, the scent of his cologne filling your nose due to your close proximity. His golden eyes seemed to bore into you, as if staring into your soul. It was the first time you really took in how… handsome he looked. Of course you had noticed before… you had eyes of course, but something about how he looked at you now seemed to awaken something within you, something you were desperate to push away, while at the same time wanting to cling on to it. 

Snapping into your senses, you yank your hand from his, crossing it over your chest once more, “Requasted by who?”

“Hmmm what was the word you used for it again?” The Doctor’s hand, now free from holding your wrist, went to his chin in contemplation, “Ah yes, that’s it. A situationship. Screwllum requested your prescene.” With his other hand, he let go of open door button, allowing the door to close behind him, “We’ll see you in the Seclusion Zone.”

[faerystale]

              minatozaki   sana   .   she/her   .   cis   woman   .   spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   misaki   nakayama   ,   most   likely   listening   to   gone   girl   by   sza   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty   six   year   old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -disingenuous   yet   +bewitching   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   the   powerful   click   of   designer   heels   as   she   walks   into   the   room   ,   hues   sparkling   like   that   of   diamonds   as   she   gets   what   she   desires   ,   blue   airpods   max   headphones   covering   ears   when   no   longer   interested   in   conversation  ,   and   silk   fabric   slipping   down   showing   while   plush   lips   meet   bottle   of   1942  ,   followed   by   hermès   un   jardin   sur   le   toit   .   latest   nepoupdates   talks   about   the   new   york   it   girl   being   spotted   at   jfk   five   months   following   sudden   disappearance   to   tokyo   after   allegedly   being   named   as   a   married   man's   mistress   in   a   multi - million   dollar   divorce   scandal   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   repuation   .

          full   name   :   nakayama   misaki   .   nickname(s)   :   saki   ,   preferred   over   her   full   name   .   origin   :    tba   .   age   :   twenty   six   .   date   of   birth   :   february   15   ,   1997   .   place   of   birth   :   minato - ku   ,   tokyo   ,   japan   .   gender   :   cis   woman   .   pronouns   :   she   /   her   .   sexual   orientation   :   bisexual   biromantic   .   language(s)   :   japanese   ,   english   ,   spanish   ,   and   italian   (   in   order   of   proficiency   )   .   occupation   :   heiress   of   ikigai   hotel   group   , socialite , and miss universe japan .

⤿ 🌷      BACKGROUND   .

  if there's one thing that can be attributed to the takahashi family of tokyo , it's their ability to welcome guests from all over the world to their luxurious hotels with state of the art technology and its hefty price tag . the nakayama family started ikigai hotel group decades ago , with takahashi asahi leading the family . he was progressive and had new ideas for his family's business , which led to the company becoming the giant that it is today . along with his lovely wife hanako , the couple welcomed their children into the world , starting with their beautiful daughter takahashi nanami .

  nanami is the epitome of wealth as she grows up . as the eldest of the family , nanami was held to great standard , but she fulfilled her role well . she went to some of the best schools that both money and her academic prowess could afford , which led her into meeting her high school sweetheart . it's one random morning when a new student is introduced , and nanami instantly falls in love the moment they lock eyes with one another . when retelling the story , he confesses that he had fallen in love with her too , but had to play it off as the cool new boy in town .

  this perfect stranger was nakayama hiroji , of the wealthy nakayama family from osaka . where nanami's family focused in hospitality , hiroji's was in tech , leading the family's company to be one of the most profitable companies in recent years . on the outside looking in , they were a match made in heaven—   two   undeniably   rich   students   who   clung   to   each   other   from   the   very   first   moment   they   met   .   their   relationship   wasn't   perfect   ,   but   they   loved   each   other   and   it   showed   when   they   married   only   a   couple   of   years   after   graduating   from   the   university   of   tokyo   .

           for   the   next   few   years   ,   hiroji   and   nanami   put   their   work   into   their   family's   companies   ,   and   at   one   point   finally   decide   to   go   into   business   with   each   other's   .  nakayama's   state   of   the   art   technology   was   now   featured   in   ikigai   hotel   group's   hotels   ,   which   turns   out   to   be   one   of   their   best   decisions   .   the   wealth   only   builds   from   there   ,   and   after   a   few   years   of   working   as   much   as   they   had   to   with   the   merger   ,   the   couple   can   officially   say   they   have   it   all—   including   the   children   they've   always   wanted   .   first   came   their   eldest   son   daizen   ,   followed   by   their   eldest   daughter   kanami   ,   another   daughter    named   misaki   ,   and   their   youngest   son   shunji   .

            for   their   third   child  misaki   ,   growing   up   in   such   a   luxurious   way   had   been   something   she   clung   to   from   the   beginning   .   the   best   clothes   ,   the   best   schools   ,   and   the   nicest   toys   that   money   could   afford   ,   it   could   all   be   hers   .   growing   up   ,   misaki   was   a   well   loved   girl   who   easily   made   friends   no   matter   where   she   went   and   was   constantly   recognized   for   both   her   personality   and   perfectly   rounded   cheeks   .   it's   easy   to   see   why   misaki   grows   into   a   beautiful   young   woman   ,   who   makes   heads   turn   both   from   her   beauty   and   how   eloquent   she   is   while   attending   events   with   her   parents   .

            misaki   ,   who   later   adopts   the   nickname   of   saki   ,   is   one   of   those   girls   who   becomes   a   known   figure   during   the   rise   of   social   media   .   such   a   young   girl   with   access   to   endless   funds   is   bound   to   make   people   pay   attention   ,   and   she   manages   to   get   everyone   to   do   exactly   that   .   it's   the   days   of   stila   ,   diys   ,   and   heatless   curls   ,   but   she   gets   everyone   to   look   her   way   during   the   birth   of   the   influencer   .   misaki   is   one   of   the   first   to   promote   her   own   family's   brand   ,   a   pearlescent   grin   etched   on   her   face   as   she   proudly   shows   off   her   family's   creations   .   doing   such   work   garners   the   attention   of   company's   all   over   japan   ,   and   even   at   the   ripe   age   of   twenty   ,   saki   is   the   spokeswoman   for   a   number   of   popular   brands   .

            the   sudden   growth   of   saki   in   the   city   has   her   on   everyone's   lips   ,   and   it's   no   surprise   that   she   decides   to   make   the   move   to   new   york   city   to   further   her   career   .   it's   an   easy   move—   she   settles   into   a   gorgeous   apartment   in   the   sky   ,   fully   funded   by   her   parents   ,   but   she's   still   hardworking   .   her   face   is   plastered   on   billboards   all   throughout   the   city   ,   and   she   even   manages   to   land   a   few   nationwide   commmercials   .  saki   grows   to   become   one   of   the   most   sought   after   models   and   brand   promoters   ,   which   ultimately   has   her   traveling   back   to   japan   to   enter   the   miss   universe   japan   pageant   .   saki   ,   who   has   never   entered   a   pageant   before   ,   manages   to   excel   in   all   categories   which   leads   to   her   win   in   2020   .

            for   the   next   year   ,   saki   fulfills   her   duties   as   miss   universe   japan   ,   splitting   her   time   between   tokyo   and   new   york   .   she   succeeds   in   her   new   role   ,   and   despite   the   heavy   push   back   received   due   to   her   winning   as   both   a   first   timer   and   a   nepo   baby   ,   no   one   could   deny   her   abilities   .   it's   when   the   sash   comes   off   and   she   returns   to   new   york   that   saki   finds   herself   in   the   middle   of   her   first   scandal   ,   and   it's   one   that   rocks   the   young   woman's   world   .   the   brands   that   once   fawned   over   her   suddenly   stop   picking   up   her   manager's   calls   ,   and   despite   her   telling   the   truth   from   the   beginning   ,   a   huge   sum   of   people   turn   their   backs   on   the   former   beauty   queen   .   after   a   five   month   hiatus   ,   saki   is   currently   on   a   slow   rise   again   ,   clawing   her   way   back   into   the   world's   good   graces   .

⤿ 🌷      HEADCANONS   .

being   100%   honest   here   ,   saki's   rumor   is   very   much   true   .   she   had   an   affair   with   a   married   man   for   at   least   four   months   ,   but   she   had   been   under   the   impression   that   he   and   his   wife   were   already   divorced   .   they   never   went   to   each   other's   primary   homes   ,   often   meeting   at   his   secondary   home   .   during   this   time   ,   she   believed   that   he   was   single   ,   until   it   they   were   captured   at   said   home   together   .   she   has   never   spoken   publically   about   it   ,   and   she   doesn't   like   all   of   the   drama   surrounding   her   name   at   this   point   .   of   course   ,   there   was   a   general   but   genuine   statement   made   ,   but   no   one   really   believed   it   .

after   the   scandal   and   rumor   swirling   ,   saki   doesn't   have   any   interest   in   sparking   up   a   new   relationship   any   time   soon   .   labeled   as   a   homewrecker   within   such   a   small   group   ,   it's   not   unheard   of   that   people   tend   to   steer   clear   of   her   .   sometimes   she's   the   subject   of   unwanted   attention   ,   and   dating   in   general   is   far   too   hard   .   she'd   rather  nameless   nights   of   passion   over   sparking   up   a   relationship   since   it's   easier   and   she   doesn't   have   to   be   vulnerable   with   them   .

her   parents   live   a   much   quieter   life   than   she   does   back   in   tokyo   ,   and   are   a   well   loved   couple   in   the   country   .   they   do   not   interact   with   the   media   outside   of   for   their   businesses   ,   and   have   only   interacted   with   entertainment   media   for   when   they   were   interviewed   for   a   feature   in   architectural   digest   .

she   was   signed   as   a   global   ambassador   for   prada   in   2021   ,   and   shortly   thereafter   was   named   as   the   face   for   prada   fine   jewelry   .   she   works   with   a   highly   sought   after   stylist   who  helped   get   her   foot   into   the   fashion   world   (   similar   to   zendaya   and   law   roach   )   ,   which   soon   tumbled   into   big   name   fashion   invites   .   her   happiest   moment   was   landing   a   cover   with   vogue   japan   earlier   this   year   .

saki   can   be   something   of   a   firecracker   at   times   .   the   words   that   leave   her   mouth   are   genuine   even   if   she's   being   nice   or   downright   awful   .   she's   the   friend   who   will   listen   as   you   spill   the   tea   ,   your   upset   ,   or   your   rants  /  venting   with   a   listening   ear   .   she's   not   the   person   to   go   badmouthing   you   to   someone   else   unless   she   has   a   genuine   distate   for   you   ,   and   she's   the   best   person   to   have   a   shopping   date   with   .

[anqelically]

IKIGAI | OSAMU DAZAI X FEM!READER

003. THREE INVITATIONS

CHAPTER SUMMARY: The agency receives a case in which they must protect a certain man from an old prophecy

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Descriptions of dead bodies, the prophecy inspired by the tv show “the originals”

WORD COUNT: 2K words

SERIES INTRODUCTION | CH2 | CH4

OVER A MONTH HAD PASSED since Dazai joined the Armed Detective Agency. Although Y/N hadn't gotten the time to work with Dazai on a case directly, she was sure that he would be one of the greatest detectives the agency would have.

Just from some of the reports she'd read and the times they'd talked, she could tell that he was incredibly intelligent. He was quite a character sometimes, but that didn't hinder his brains one bit.

Three of the cases he and Kunikida handled could've gone wrong at any moment, but Dazai managed to outsmart the criminals. He and Kunikida were a great pair when they worked together.

Today at the agency was just another day of sorting through paperwork for Y/N. She thought the day would end with her doing the same, but she was mistaken when Fukuzawa called in all the detectives for a meeting.

In the meeting room, everyone sat around the long table. Y/N and Yosano sat on one side, Ranpo and Dazai on the other, Fukuzawa sat facing the board, and Kunikida was the one standing in front of it.

Meetings like this before the agency is even involved in a case usually meant everyone was working on it.

"So, what's going on?" Y/N decided to be the one to ask.

"Well, the agency has, obviously, taken on a new case. So far, 5 deaths have been accounted for." Kunikida hung up different photos of each of the victims. They were both their license photos and the photos of their bodies. "Here, the victims were all successful business owners in the Kansai region. Specifically, they ran their businesses around Kyoto and Osaka. You can see that each of their deaths is different."

The picture of the first dead man was in a fish tank. The water had turned red and his body pruned. His eyes remained open as the pictures were taken. Any person walking by must've felt like he was staring into their soul.

The second body was found in a pond in the middle of a flower garden. The woman, in this case, had her insides taken out. With the space, vipers slithered around her body.

The third victim's body was set up in a similar fashion in a dirt bed. Instead of his insides being removed, the lower half of his mouth was. Larvae were found all over his body and inside of what remained of his mouth.

The fourth died with countless bullet-sized holes in his body. Though, there were no bullets left at the scene. His body was wet, lying in a puddle of water when it was discovered.

The final victim, the fifth business owner, died by burning alive. His body, crisp and charred, was tied to where he passed away, which was in a meeting room. Alcohol flooded the floor at the scene.

Yosano grimaced, "How disgusting."

"I agree," Kunikida pushed his glasses up.

"So, how were you sure that each death is connected? Excluding that they were all found in unique circumstances," Dazai questioned.

"Each of them was found by multiple employees, and all of them saw the messages that were left with the bodies."

"What messages?"

Kunikida put another photo on the wall and Y/N read it out loud, "'And if each event shall be passed, may the end of the cursed be fulfilled.' The cursed?"

"If that was on each body, then I assume there's still more to come," the doctor guessed.

Ranpo finally spoke up, taking his cherry lollipop out of his mouth, "There's going to be one more, actually."

"How did you figure that out?"

"These killings... they're based on some prophecy from a long time ago. It was hard to find about online."

"Was this prophecy real?" Y/N then asked.

"Nope," Ranpo shook his head and answered, bored, "not at all. The culprit just wants it to seem so. It's easy to see through, really."

"So, how does it go?" Dazai sprung up, "Oh, is it a song~? Maybe we can all sing it right here and the culprit will come right to us."

"As if it would be that easy," Kunikida sighed. He recited, "'With each event that passed, the more light was revealed. Thou should know the signs of blood from water, vipers from the rivers, larvae from the soil, ice rain from the skies, fire across the water, tsunamis from the sea, the death of the cursed firstborn.'"

"A man found in a tank of his own blood and water, a woman with vipers all over her body, a man in the same condition but with larvae, a man with holes in his body on top of a puddle of water, and another guy who was found burnt to a crisp. Hm," Dazai released a breath as if he were tired, "the prophecy sounds about right. There'll be one more victim, and they're going to be killed by a so-called tsunami from the sea."

"That is where you are wrong." Everyone looked towards the president, who was the one to speak. He continued, "We, the Armed Detective Agency, will put our effort into preventing this final murder."

No one had to utter a word to express that they agreed. However, preventing the final murder required a few things. The first was to know who the final victim was. Y/N expressed this concern, and Fukuzawa said they had an answer.

The final victim, according to Ranpo, was going to be a man named Kei Yoshikawa.

Kunikida had no doubt that Ranpo was right, considering that it was Ranpo and they had the image of Yoshikawa in the files. "How'd you figure that out, Ranpo-san?"

"Well, their goal is to kill this cursed firstborn, right? Yoshikawa here fits that role perfectly. The business owners that have already died may have run their buildings separately, but this guy is the man at the top. He basically owns them all. From almost nothing, he built this life for himself. But with the recent killings, some people have begun to see the company as cursed— Yoshikawa as cursed. He's also the first and only child of his family. Hence, he's the cursed firstborn."

"So, how do we plan on preventing this anyway? Are we having Yosano-sensei stick by as we follow him?" Dazai tilted his head.

Kunikida sighed, "Yoshikawa is hosting a party in celebration of the company going 10 years strong. It's probably also to keep everyone's minds off of these brutal murders. It's tomorrow, here, in Yokohama. Due to the Armed Detective Agency's connections, the president was able to acquire us invitations.”

"So we're all going," Yosano took her chin off of her hand. "That makes it easier."

"The final plague can easily happen because Yokohama is right by the ocean," Dazai pointed out. "If it happens-"

Y/N interrupted, "We won't let it, remember? We'll stop whoever's behind it. We are the agency, after all."

"Stop a natural disaster?" Yosano quirked her brow.

Dazai cupped his chin, "But it's not going to be a natural disaster, is it? It's an ability. If we get the ability user, we stop the disaster. They'll most definitely be there because there's no way they can set up such a death without being in or near the building."

"Newbie's right," Ranpo commented. "One of you will always stick by Yoshikawa, as Dazai said. President wasn't trying to give us away, so he was only able to snag us 3 invitations.”

Fukuzawa slid 3 envelopes onto the table space in front of him, "Y/N, Yosano, Dazai, you three will work the case from the inside."

| 生きがい |

WITH HER FINGERS RUNNING DOWN HER CURVES, Y/N looked at herself in the mirror. Y/N donned an outfit that didn't have much color. She decided to wear a black v-neck dress that stopped shortly above her knees. As for jewelry, she adorned her silver necklace with a crescent moon pendant.

The following day had arrived and the time of the celebration was near. At Yosano's apartment, where Y/N used to live, the two women were getting ready. They were practically done, just adding a few touches to their looks.

"Oneesan," she called, "I don't know what to do with my hair. Do you think putting half of it up will look good?"

She looked towards Yosano, who was putting on gold earrings. She wore a violet dress, silk like Y/N's, that was off-shoulder. A simple necklace was wrapped around her neck, in addition to a similar bracelet. The doctor wore her hair like normal, the metal butterfly clipped to the side of her head.

Like how Yosano always wore the clip, Y/N always wore the red ribbon she had in her hand. After she would tie her hair back, she'd tie the ribbon around it. A gift for her 17th birthday, the first one she spent with the Armed Detective Agency. As long as she had it and the other ones she received, she'd wear it.

Yosano slipped behind Y/N, placing her hands on her shoulders, "Let's tie your hair back like normal. It'll make things easier if they go south."

Fukuzawa slid 3 envelopes onto the table space in front of him, "Y/N, Yosano, Dazai, you three will work the case from the inside."

The said trio stared at the president in silence, being the only ones that weren't notified. Yosano, however, had a feeling that she'd be called. After all, it was her ability that saved the lives of many.

"Fukuzawa-sama," Y/N raised her hand politely, "is there any reason for us specifically?"

The older man gestured to Ranpo, who only huffed. He answered, "Yosano-san can heal, that's obvious. However, she can't nullify abilities like you or Dazai over here. His ability nullifies other abilities. But if you're fast enough, you can do the same by taking them into your ability."

Dazai, the only one clueless about the full extent of Y/N's ability, darted his eyes toward her. The young woman was talking with Ranpo thoughtfully. Another person who can nullify abilities... Dazai wouldn't have guessed.

Though, Ranpo made it clear that there was a downside to her ability nullification.

"That's all that happens, isn't it?" Y/N weakly joked. "But even so, we can usually handle it. From what I'm sure we all heard, Dazai-san is plenty capable."

"I just want you to be careful with him, okay?" Yosano smiled at the younger one.

Y/N pouted, "Oniisan first, and now you? You guys make it seem like something bad will happen."

"I'm just saying, darling. Don't rely too much on someone like him." Yosano grabbed her heels and sat down, "In the end, we've only got ourselves. You two may be paired up specifically, but don't count on Dazai. He's too mysterious, that one."

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror once more. Her hair was slicked back into a sleek ponytail, thanks to Yosano. Behind her, she could see her flats sitting on top of the empty shoe box.

Her eyes dropped down to her hands, "Understood. Though, I don't think I'd ever fall into a ditch because of Dazai-san. I agree that he's actually pretty mysterious for being someone who jokes a lot, but that doesn't change anything. He's a member of the agency, a member accepted by Kunikida-san and Fukuzawa-sama. I trust their judgment, so I trust Dazai. But like you said, I'm not going to rely on him."

Yosano hummed, "Good thing, Y/N. If you did fall into a ditch because of him, I have the feeling that it won't end well for either of you."

The 19 year old made a confused sound, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not totally sure myself. But if he ever does hurt you, trust me when I say he'll get that pain back tenfold."

WRITTEN: 03/12/2023

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

i love protective!yosano okay 😔🫶🏻

@seneon @chuuyrr @kentopedia @cloudwisp @aureatchi

[wind-becomes-lightning]

violet.

meow. this is .. some stuff for rin week. very emotional etc. i have feelings do not take me lightly! anyway.

thanks once again for @uchiharomance for always letting me borrow her baby girl.

lots of nohara hc's in this. ikigai AU

for @rinweek2022 Day 5: Facepaint

Though not unloved by her parents and living through a happy childhood, Haruka’s first memory was nonetheless of her cousin, at least the first memory he brain retained for her all her life.

The Nohara were not a big clan, rather a small family, known for extensive chakra knowledge and healing techniques. They often worked at the hospital or other such facilities, and generally were set out to become doctors. Not because they were forced to do it, but because they were really good at it.

Haruka was eight years younger than the other child in the family, Rin, who was already plenty accomplished when Haruka first remembers laying eyes on her. Rin had finished the academy early, as war times demanded, she had learned advanced healing way above other people her age and she was taught by the rumoured next hokage.

Accordingly, Haruka’s first memory was riding on the back of Rin, just the two of them walking through the streets of pre Kyuubi Konoha. Rin and her were mistaken so often for siblings as their hair and their eye colour matched almost perfectly. Haruka loved when people wondered if they were sisters, so she called Rin “sister.”

Rin was everything to Haruka. There was nobody that compared to how beautiful and smart and wonderful and kind Rin was. Like her personal superstar, Haruka would waddle behind Rin at any family opportunity, throw her little hands over Rin’s arm or shoulder to press herself against her cousin. It was the closest Haruka had to a sibling and a goal and a person to admire.

Despite seeing it on everyone around her, Haruka was especially fascinated with the facial paint that Rin wore on her cheeks every day. The Nohara did not have a clan symbol that they proudly wore on clothing like the Senju or Uchiha did, they marked their status as healers by marking their faces in bright colours. A practice that went back to early warring times, to show that they had no allegiance. Rin wore her stripes in violet, a deep colour that complimented her brown hair and eyes so well that Haruka, who herself had brown hair , though a little lighter, wanted nothing more than to have them too.

“Nee-san”, Haruka whined one day, pulling Rin by the sleeve, “Can I make my face like nee-san?” Rin had only come over to drop off an antidote she had worked on in between missions. Lately she had been absent, her face fallen into herself with deep grief that Haruka only understood when she was older. Rin’s friend had gone away, they had told her. He wasn’t coming back. 

She wanted to cheer up her cousin. Make her laugh, but no matter how much she babbled about school and chakra training and her mom's baking, Rin’s smile never returned to the way it had been before.  It had, by proxy, made Haruka very sad.

“Hm?” Rin asked and then crouched so she could be on Haruka’s height. “What do you mean with that, sweetie?”

Haruka brushed with a thumb over her cheeks. They had a bright orange colour currently. “I want to have stripes like nee-san. I want to look like nee-san, because she is the prettiest girl in the entire village.” 

Rin shook her head: “No, that would be you.” She leaned forward and pinched Haruka’s nose. “But, I can paint your face if you want.” The little girl beamed and then rushed to get her face washed.

They had to go to a house down where Rin’s room was to actually get her usual paint, as she wasn’t carrying it around with her. Haruka held her cousin's hand the entire way even though she would have probably been old enough to walk by herself, but she liked holding Rin’s hand, it reminded her of when she had been small and Rin had taken her out to play, to learn how to throw, to see the forests around the village. Always hand in hand.

Later Haruka would always remember how Rin’s room looked that day when she entered. How most of her pictures on the walls were turned around so you couldn’t see what was on them. How that clearly indicated the pain she was going through. But she was too young and innocent then to understand.

Rin picked a little plastic box from a shelf and sat down with crossed legs in front of Haruka, inviting her to sit down too. “I assume Auntie told you that this paint is not like regular paint. It is more sturdy, does not wipe with water too easily, and though it can be wiped away needs a strong stroke to do so.” She dove her fingers in the paint. “I chose violet as my colour, because it stands for ambition and creativity, but it also stands for peace, which I wish for us above everything else.”

She paused for a moment, her fingers half in the air between the plastic box and Haruka’s face. Then she continued. “You can choose whichever colour you like of course, as long as it is something that keeps you apart from others.” Haruka could feel Rin’s fingers on her cheek, softly, but skilled moving down and painting in the stripes with an accuracy that showed how often she had done it before. 

Haruka kept her eyes fixed on Rin’s face, on the way her eyes focused on the task, the shine in them, the way her smile seemed so weak, as if she hadn’t done it for a while. She went over every inch of her cousin’s face and etched it into her brain this way, which later turned out to be a gift.

“All done!” Rin said with a smile and then pulled a mirror out from behind her holding it in front of Haruka’s face.

The little girl felt her mouth opening to a silent “oh” as she took in her mirror image. “I look like nee-san!” She looked up at Rin and her heart fluttered in excitement.

“Oh -I’m.. Sorry?” Rin didn’t seem to know what to reply to that. She leaned back against her flat hands. “You asked me to-”

Haruka almost dropped the mirror because she was jumping to her feet so quickly. “I love it so much. I love looking like nee-san. I want to be like you. I want to be strong and smart and beautiful and talented and make antidotes for poisons when I am 14.” She leapt forward into Rin’s arms and pressed her head against her chest like she had done so many times before. 

“I’m never, never, never taking it off.” Haruka declared.

“That would be very unsanitary, Auntie would never allow it,” Rin laughed. At first Haruka didn’t think much of it, but then she realised how long it had been since she had heard Rin laugh like that and she pressed herself even closer to her cousin. 

With her fingers she picked up the mirror again. “I will also be purple!” she declared. “We will look like actual sisters.”

Rin went with her hand through Haruka’s hair, her eyes a little blurry. “I would like that,” she said finally. “But promise me you will at least cycle through a few more colours. Just to see how you feel.”

Haruka gave a thumbs up back: “I promise.”

-

But she never did.

When Haruka painted her face again it was to visit a funeral and she chose violet, because while people told her that Rin had died and was now far away, she lingered around.

Rin lingered each morning Haruka painted her face, the same box of plastic with the same sturdy colour, the same dark brown eyes and brown hair. Haruka saw her every morning in the mirror.

Rin was there with Haruka when Haruka decided to be adventurous, foolish, break the rules and play with her own safety to help someone that maybe did not deserve help. Rin didn’t judge, they were healers, Haruka was healing people.

Rin was there when Haruka painted her own child’s cheeks violet for the first time, when she held her daughter up, looked in those brown eyes that were so like theirs and said that her name would be Rin, like the sister she had loved and lost.

[veronicaphoenix]

Chapter tags: best friends to lovers, alcohol intake, angst/fluff, Japanese folklore, fantasy. | Word count: 4.5k | Cross posted on AO3. | Series masterpost. ✧.*

General trigger warnings: This work addresses and depicts issues related to addiction and violence, contains explicit sexual content, and explores themes of childhood trauma. Reader discretion is advised. +18

3 YEARS LATER

(CONNECTING WITH THE LAST CHAPTER OF IKIGAI)

The first time I heard about the Hanahaki disease I was a kid. I couldn’t even retain the name for too long in my head.

The first time I coughed up flowers, I thought I had gone mad, but I never forgot the moment I held the purple flower in the palm of my hand.

The occurrence happened again sometime later, and as the weeks went by, it became more recurrent to the point where I would fall ill with each change of season. That was the first thing I put it down to. My grandmother was far away, on the other side of the world, and perhaps if I had had her nearby, I would have been able to identify sooner the illness that was eating me up inside. 

By the time I did, the love of my life was lying in my arms, her body numb; Death was welcoming her with open arms. And consequently, I was about to run to it, too.

The first time I coughed up flowers, it had been a week since Lia had told me she liked Mitch, but the malaise started much earlier; the night we finished playing the last show of the tour.

The band and most of the crew were gathered in the dancefloor of the concert’s venue. Lights on and most of the equipment already picked up and stored into the truck, the guys and I’d had some time to take a shower and change clothes before returning to the green room and the show’s floor to help clear out the space and pack up.

Most of the crew gathered in the wide space and on stage within the next thirty minutes. Matt, our FOH, grabbed the last mic before someone unplugged it and congratulated the entire team. He started a round of applause that spread throughout the room, the sound reverberating against the walls. It was our first time touring as headliners, and me and the rest of the band were still processing the fact that we had sold out most of the venues we had played in. To say it was a dream come true was an understatement.

Given that this had been the last show, many of our friends and family had come to see us. Smiling from ear to ear at our accomplishments, I responded to the hugs from my colleagues and shook every hand that came my way. I could still hear Folio’s father somewhere behind me vociferating how proud he was of his son and the entire band, then I came upon Lia’s lit-up face in the crowd. My smile grew bigger.

She was wearing the same clothes I had seen her in before we went on stage and during the concert. She had been watching us from one of the balconies right in front of the stage, high above. Her band T-shirt fell to the point above her knees, and she was wearing fishnet tights with black boots. She had let her hair down again, which fell across her chest and over the pendant with her band crew ID card. 

Politely, I pushed a couple of people aside until I had her within arm’s reach. I enveloped her in my arms. In turn, she stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around my back. We said nothing to each other. We stood there, among dozens of people around us, feeling each other and remembering the road we had traveled together to get to where we stood that night. I thought I sensed a small tremble coming from her petite body, as if she was fighting to hold back a sob.

Lia smelled like vanilla, and the warmth emanating from her body enveloped me. After so many years by her side, growing up with her and going through heaven and hell together, it was always Lia I sought out after a long day’s work.

Her cheek pressed against my chest with the trust of someone who’s used to it. With my arms around her shoulders and the height difference between the two of us, I practically had her tucked into my body, and she felt more comforting than any other place I could imagine.

The hug might have lingered for a few more minutes, allowing us to sway gently, content as two free birds, if not for the intrusion of a voice that disrupted our moment.  

“Hey, Noah.”

It was Mitch’s voice, the sound guy that worked for one of the bands we had played with last summer on the Warped Tour. We’d known each other many years, but hadn’t really hit it off until the two bands shared the stage at different times last year. We had hung out a few times in the past couple of weeks, as his band toured concurrently with ours, leading to shared nights in local bars and pubs, getting to know each other better.

As Lia and I reluctantly disengaged from one another, Mitch’s hand had already found its way to my shoulder.

Releasing my grip on Lia, we both shifted our attention toward Mitch. He was a few inches shorter than me, but broader at his shoulders and chest, and his face was covered in a light brown beard.

It didn’t go unnoticed to my eyes the quick glance he shot at Lia, nor the stupid grin on her face.

After a firm handshake and a brief, brotherly hug, Mitch congratulated me on the success, and we shared a couple of comments until he couldn’t keep his eyes off Lia any longer. Lia mumbled a shy “hi” and let Mitch wrap her in his arms and give her a kiss on the cheek. I averted my gaze and looked around uncomfortably, looking for someone to occupy myself with.

I spotted Nicholas not far away. I exchanged a glance with him. With a half-smile, he raised his eyebrows at me, and I shrugged my shoulders. He approached our spot with a beer in hand as behind me I listened to the exchange of words between Lia and Mitch. Mitch's tone was subtle, the same one I had heard him use many other times when talking to her. He spoke with a softness that was not typical of him, that he never used when he was with the boys. 

He had it bad for Lia. 

And judging Lia’s behavior, I could tell she liked him, too, but she had never said it out loud. Lia was very cautious when approaching relationships. She didn’t want to get hurt, the reason why she had never been in anything too serious. Her experiences as a child and others later during her teenage years had already given her too much to learn from. However, as a human being, there were things she couldn’t control even if she tried, and she was itching with curiosity.

We were weak like that.

Mitch was asking Lia if she would be at the hotel bar that night, where we all planned to meet after dinner. Tomorrow we were going back to Los Angeles, and we had two months off before we locked ourselves back in the studio and started working on the next album. Lia said yes and Mitch replied that they would meet there then, in a few hours. He did so by slurring his words and smiling wickedly at her. For a moment, as I looked back at Lia, I thought I would have to hold her in case her legs flattered.  

He left, and I stared at her with raised eyebrows.

“What?” She asked with flushed cheeks and tucking a strand of hair behind her pierced ear.

I shook my head. Nicholas caught up with us and suggested going to a Mexican restaurant not far from there, recommendation of a local.

We finished emptying the room and said goodbye to those who were leaving that night to go home and those who were exhausted and opted for a hotel dinner. I was exhausted too, but I still felt like hanging out with the guys and having a good time that last night before going back to LA, where I could catch up on the sleep I’d sacrificed and on the energy I had expended during the shows. 

We waited half an hour for a table in the Mexican restaurant, a consequence of our large group, which exceeded the available seating. The chaos we brought with us and that extended throughout our food feast made me feel a tinge of embarrassment when I glanced at the state of the table right before we made our way out.

Back at the hotel, some, including Nicholas, Jolly and Matt, went straight to the bar. Bryan, Lia and Folio decided to go up to the rooms. Bryan needed to drop off his camera and change his shoes. Folio wanted to get a hoodie because he was feeling cold, and Lia wanted to get cleaned up and go over her makeup. I gave her my backpack and my room card to drop it there along with the iPhone I used for work-related calls. 

I didn't see her again for another forty minutes, when she had a second beer in hand and one of those smiles that made me worry more than I would like to.

Lia had a problem with alcohol. She was as aware of it as the rest of us were. It was the leftovers that her mother had left along the way and that she had picked up from an early age. While she was going through a good time and had gotten some help through the years, she was still prone to getting carried away, especially if something triggered her and took her back to the years she spent living under the same roof as her negligent mother.

That night was not the case, but the mere act of drinking too much carried its consequences. The next morning she would resent it, and she would feel guilty with herself because ending up drunk from simply drinking too much was already reason enough to make her remember each of the times she had drunk to forget. 

She was entertaining Amalia and Emery, two friends she had invited along on that last night. They were engaged in a conversation that made her laugh, exposing her little dimples, although from where I was standing I could only see one. She bent forward every time she laughed, and the movement made her hair dance around her shoulders. 

Despite the small tug I felt in my chest as I caught a glimpse of her in the distance, under the dim light of the bar, and with beer in hand, the more altruistic part of me almost made me smile to see her so happy, because after all, if anyone certainly deserved to be happy in that room, it was her.

Another thirty minutes later, I heard Jolly’s voice approaching, interrupting my funny talk with Bryan over some strange connection between kangaroos and squirrels.

“I think we should consider calling it a night.”

I looked up from my beer and then toward the direction where Jolly’s eyes were pointing.

Lia was now in the center of the dance floor, swayed to the music alongside her friends. Her movements were a bit unsteady, and at one point, she tripped over her own feet and had to hold onto Emery for support. Their laughter echoed across the space.  

“She’s had a few,” said Jolly, louder this time. He was worried. If there was one thing we all agreed on besides our passion for music and the decisions we made about and for the band, it was Lia’s well-being.

Lia was the cements that held our castle together.

Without Lia, maybe the band wouldn't exist. Maybe Jolly wouldn't be there. Maybe our last album wouldn't have been as successful, nor the merchandising designs as appealing, nor the tour as well planned. 

Despite what Lia carried on her back, she was the hardest working, most passionate woman I had ever met. And resilient. Her resilience was unmatched, but that didn't stop her from falling apart at times. We all go down at times, don’t we? It's in our nature. We're made of glass, and sometimes we crack, and sometimes, when it's worse, we shatter. Lia had cracked time and time again during her teenage years, but she had been able to pull herself together and keep walking. Other than that, she was an amazing person, and the concern I felt for her well-being was shared by the rest of the band and even some of our closest friends. 

Lia didn't talk about what had happened to her. She didn't talk about her relationship with her mother, about everything she had wanted since she was a child and never had. But some of us had known her since we were six years old, and we knew everything she had endured while living under the mantle of a single, alcoholic mother who was disinterested in the big, brown-eyed little girl she had brought into the world.

“I suggest we go back to the hotel. We’re not doing anything out of the ordinary here, anyway,” Nicholas mumbled. He had only had one beer all night and was now entertaining himself with some chips and a Fanta.

I clicked my tongue and stood up, leaving my beer behind. 

I didn't mind having to go back to the room, it being barely one in the morning. We had had a good time for the first two hours. The bar had been crowded and the atmosphere had been livelier. By three in the morning, however, the pace of the party was beginning to slow down, though not for everyone. What mattered to me now was ensuring that Lia didn’t end up too drunk and spare her the consequences the next day.

"Lia".

She turned as soon as she heard her name, nearly losing her balance in the process. I reached out an arm to catch her, but she managed to steady herself before I touched her. Behind her, Emery and Amalia stifled a string of giggles. I shot them a quick disapproving glance over Lia's head that didn't seem to have more than a little effect on them.

"I know what you're going to say," Lia started saying, as if my sudden presence hadn't surprised her. She pointed her index finger at me. "I'm not drunk." She touched my chest with her finger and her body leaned toward mine. Her gaze still seemed to focus clearly on what was in front of her and she didn't babble, but from the joviality with which she spoke and her lively movements it was clear which way she was headed towards. "Not yet anyway."

"I know," I replied, wrapping the fingers of my hand around her wrist and pulling her finger away from my chest, "but I think we should go to the rooms. It’s late."

Lia pouted. Her shoulders slumped and she made a disappointed face. Then she said my name in that way that, for some reason, made me fall to my knees.

"Noowwaah!"

When we were kids and ever since we met, Lia had always had a tendency to mispronounce my name. I remember the first few times it had annoyed me, and I had spent week after week repeating to her that my name wasn't pronounced that way. She had finally learned to say it right, but sometimes she would let that slip, and over the years it had begun to sink in. Lia only called me that way when she was drunk, sick, or when she needed my help, and I couldn't help but get attached to that way of calling me and the expression that appeared on her face. 

"Just a little while longer, please."

"No, Lia. You've had enough to drink. Come on, let's go. You know you'll thank me tomorrow."

"Ten more minutes, please," she said, leaning against my chest with her chin raised.  "Please? Let me finish this beer and say goodbye to the girls. I'll give you a back massage, I promise." 

I looked at her with a raised brow. 

"Wow, what do you have to do to get one of those?"

Perfect, I thought as Mitch appeared at my back. I held Lia with one hand around her waist as I felt her melt. 

"Noah wants us to leave now, but I haven't finished my beer yet."

Mitch, who was no longer wearing the sweatshirt he'd been wearing during the concert and had a cuba libre in his hand, looked at me as if I had no right to look out for her. She was my best friend; I knew her better than anyone and cared for her better than anyone did. The one who had no say there was him.

"The party has just started," he said to me in his deep voice.

"Right?!" Lia exclaimed, looking at me as if it was the first time someone was agreeing with her. 

"Lia," I looked at her sternly, ignoring Mitch. Lia had long understood what I meant when I mentioned her name that way. 

After a few seconds, she puffed, slumping her shoulders and pouting.

"Alriiiiight. Ten minutes?" 

"Five," I concluded. 

"Okay. You're an angel."

She kissed me on the cheek. The stench of alcohol coming from her reached my nose.

Before she could pull away from me, Mitch interrupted us again. 

He pointed at us, wagging his index finger from Lia to me and from me to Lia, "You two aren't together, are you?"

Lia snorted a laugh and I looked at him with a frown, as if he had lost my mind.  

“No”, I replied dryly.

“Of course not,” Lia agreed. “Noah’s my best friend,” she continued, giving me a weak pat on the stomach Then she started to ramble. “He just takes care of me and I take care of him, when I’m not drunk, of course. He’s like my big brother. When we were little, we promised we’d never fall in love with each other, and we’re not going to do that, are we, Noah?” She raised her head to look at me with those big brown eyes. When I looked down at her, I felt something stir in my stomach. I felt uncomfortable. Even if the answer was a clear “no”, I didn’t want to have that conversation with Mitch in front of us.

Part of me wanted to answer the opposite so that I wouldn't have to see Mitch's smile. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me. I had liked Mitch from the beginning, we had gotten along well despite our differences, but the moment he noticed Lia, I started to look at him with different eyes. 

"Great," Mitch said, that smile I almost hated already plastered on his face as he looked at Lia with eyes that were loaded with something I didn't like, either. 

Lia widened the smile as if to please him with the information we had just given him and turned away and reengaged in a conversation with the girls. 

As I began to pray that the five minutes would fly by, Mitch ran her up and down with a hungry look. He was a nice guy, but I wasn't sure if he'd be a good match. He seemed too rough for Lia. Maybe that’s what worried me to the bone.

"Fuck, she's hot," he mumbled. 

I rolled my eyes.

“Sorry, Noah,” he said next, tapping me on the shoulder. “It must be like hearing comments about your little sister.”

“Something like that,” I answered reluctantly.

“You went to school together? How have you known each other for so long?”

“It’s a long story.”

And I didn’t want to tell it. Not to him.

“It always is, isn’t it?” He laughed.

He was getting on my nerves. I glanced to my left and saw Lia finishing her beer in one gulp.

“Then you won’t mind if I ask for her phone number, will you?”

I held his gaze for a few seconds before finally answering with a slight shake of my head. The music coming out of the speakers was starting to get into my ears in a piercing way. Mitch followed up with comments assuring me that I had nothing to worry about and that he knew how to take good care of women, and another string of bullshit.

Over the years I had seen Lia at her highest and lowest moments. She needed help and sometimes she needed someone to be there for her to keep her from sinking. I wasn't sure Mitch was the one for that. 

Or maybe it was simply that I didn't want to give up my place to anyone else. 

On our way to the elevator in the lobby, we ran into Bryan and a colleague of his, also a photographer. Nicholas and Jolly stayed with them talking for a while and Lia and I excused ourselves and continued to the elevator. 

Once inside, Lia leaned against the wall and threw her head back, closing her eyes and letting out a long sigh. Her hair was tousled, and her makeup was smeared.

After having spent nearly three hours in the bar, exposed to a loud volume of music that had already been haunting us since the morning when we had sound checked in the event room, and being surrounded by people, the near silence and quietness as the elevator took us to the fourth floor was to be welcomed. 

I didn't expect Lia to say anything. She was as tired as I was, and when she drank, any ounce of energy she had left disappeared. At that hour, the hallway on the fourth floor was empty, and the yellowish light from the lamps on the walls gave the place a bit of a gloomy look, even for a four-star hotel. 

"The card?" I asked her when we got to the door. 

Lia leaned forward, and I thought she was going to throw up. Instead, she pulled the keycard out of her left boot and swiped it through the reader. She looked at me curiously, and seeing my expression of disbelief, she burst out laughing. 

With a hand on the small of her back, I escorted her inside. Neither of us bothered to turn on the light. When we reached the bed, Lia turned on the lamp on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the mattress. She lay still, staring at the carpeted floor of the room, her hands resting on the mattress on either side of her body.

I took a quick look around. As expected, Lia had her things scattered around the room, but in an organized fashion. The suitcase lay closed on the stool next to the desk reserved especially for that use. On the desk were her MacBook, iPad, a couple of notebooks, a pencil case, and a bottle of water. Underneath were three pairs of shoes: Vans sneakers and a pair of boots. I had seen her wear other shoes during the tour and was sure she kept them in the closet, or they were already in the suitcase. On the armchair in one of the corners, next to the window, she had left her backpack and jacket. On the small table next to the bed she had a book, another bottle of water, and her iPhone.

As I looked back at her, I sensed that she was about to fall backwards and lose herself in Morpheus’ arms.  

I took a step toward her. 

"Boots and tights off. Come on.” 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she lifted one knee to remove one boot and then the other. She looked up at me from under her eyelashes and a mischievous smile crossed her features.

"That sounded really hot."

I had to roll my eyes and look away from her. It wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last time Lia would make comments like that whenever I made a remark that could be interpreted otherwise. She loved teasing me, and despite that, I couldn't help but curl my lips and satisfy her as she stood up and reached under her shirt to remove her tights. She left them lying on the floor next to her boots and turned around to uncover the bed. 

"Aren't you going to use the bathroom?"

"I'm exhausted," she muttered.

Her hands hid inside the oversized t-shirt she was using as a dress, and in a way that still amused me, she managed to unclasp her bra and take it off. It joined the tights on the floor.

Placing first one knee on the mattress and then the other. She climbed into bed and flopped down on her side, then pulled the comforter over herself and settled her head on the pillow. She brushed her hair out of her face with one hand. 

"Try to get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay?"

She nodded and I watched her squint her brown eyes. I was about to turn away when she called out to me again. 

"Kiss me goodnight?"

For a moment I stood there, staring at her with a growing crease between my eyebrows. I blinked a couple of times, holding her gaze. Then she let out a giggle. 

"What are you thinking about, silly? A kiss on the forehead," she clarified, pulling out a hand from under the sheets and running a finger to the area. 

I dropped my shoulders. I returned to the side of the bed and leaned down until my lips touched the skin of her forehead. I heard her let out a sigh of contentment and saw her smile a little.

"I feel a little dizzy..." She whispered with her eyes closed. 

"Want me to stay?" I offered, willing if necessary.  

"You've done enough. I'll be fine when I wake up," she turned onto her side and hid her hands under the pillow. Blinking a couple of times, she stared at me with a softness that indicated she was close to sleep. "Thank you."

"No biggie. I'll see you tomorrow, Gremlin."

Before I left the room, I stole a glance at her one last time and saw her already asleep, almost completely hidden under the white comforter. I thought about leaving a tablet of tylenol next to the bottle of water but decided against it. 

That night, as I went back to my room and got into bed, I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened in the last few weeks, but there was one thing that had me more worried than anything else, and that was the fact that Mitch had ended up asking for Lia's number.

That night was the first time I started to feel that sick feeling in my stomach that would become so familiar as time went on. 

When Lia called me weeks later and told me that Mitch had kissed her, with innocent excitement in her voice, I coughed up the first flower.

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