#im a recent spider dad

[lycantherous]

Hi hello! I hope you're doing well :) I stumbled across your post about tarantula husbandry, and I was wondering, as someone interested in getting a tarantula, would you be willing to share some tips for a beginner? I've done some research and know some of the basics, and I've found a local breeder that breeds Chilean rose tarantulas

Yes!! First - I reccomend Tom's big spiders. In prep for, and just after getting my rosy, I listened to his podcast whenever i was driving. He also does youtube vids.

I've never worked with slings and just only recently got my first juvie.

My spider molted just after I got her. I was prepared but it was still scary and I def googled "do spiders die upsidown" just to reeeaally make sure.

I just rehoused her into a smaller enclosure where the top isnt a screen but one sheet of stamped metal - I'm preeety sure without the overlapping wires she wont get her toes stuck. I first housed her in a 20 long with a regular screen lid so just fitted a piece of cardboard with vent holes on the inside of the lid. I knew itd be temp so I didnt mind ugly.

You wont need to add extra humidity or heat. Room temp is great, as long as it doesnt drop below 60°f for too long. Extra heat will dry out ur spider dangerously fast and misting/soaking the substrate promotes bacterial and mold growth.

Good tarantula enclosures will have side ventilation, you want the air to move through the tank rather than evaporate out the top. This is more important with species that you do want to keep more humid without risking nastiness.

Put in a water bowl! Source of humidity that's easy to clean and your spider can go over and drink from it. They wont drown, I had a huuge dog sized bowl (used to be snake bowl) in her last encloser and I'd watch her climb up and lean over and start drinking. She put some of her legs "in" the water for support. Their little feets are water repellent so it was really her floating on the surface.

So no drowning spiders but if ur lucky you might see a floating spider!

My rosy likes to climb so her enclosure is filled about 2/3rds substrate. Shes around 6" so I left about 5" of wall to climb. They dont take falls well. Honestly shed be safe with 7" but in her last enclosure she dug out a corner so I wanted to give her more medium to play in and dig.

In the snake tank I had her on cocofiber which was great but didnt hold its shape. I bought an expensive bag of arid pet dirt at my local reptiles/exotics shop for her to burrow because I dont personally trust plant dirt to not have possible fertilizer or pesticide contamination.

Both fertilizer and any sort of pesticide will kill your pet. This includes any topical flea medication that people use on their dogs. Bleach will kill your pet, these guys are sensitive to chemicals. I use watered down vinegar and make sure to rinse really well if I need to clean something. Otherwise a damp cloth is best for spot cleaning.

An adult sized t can live very happily on a handful of crickets a month and smaller spiders on smaller meals. I want to overfeed mine because the manager of the reptile store is so wonderful and loud and gay and has a jurassic park car and I wanna loiter 😔

Try and throw in some cork bark and decorative plants and moss in there. You want to make the floor not flat, layered objects help make a lot of pockets and more vertical space and your t will feel safer and will have options to choose from when making their little home base

A lot of people never hold their Ts like how fish ppl mostly dont hold or pet their fish. This is because when they fall they pop and if they bite (whether for defense or the spider is trying to hang on to ur slippery monkey arm) your first reaction is to fling the poor critter.

Contact with my animals is super important for me personally so I'll have them walk across my hands in their enclosure. My coworker would handle hers on the floor in a room that it wasnt easy for her t's to find a spot to hide if they bolted.

I love talking about animal husbandry so much I hope these are at least a good list of stuff to learn more about

[crossthread]

Okay I swear to God I hope the directors of avatar (the alien movie) sees this post somehow but the whole reason the way of water flopped so badly is cause it was written over 10 years ago. So I like avatar. I thought it was a cool concept and good characters and overall a solid action movie. But the characterisation is just a dacade old man. It's really outdated. It instantly turned me off when Jake was seen to be a 'hardass' to his kids, and having them call him Sir, and have Neytiri taking kind of a secondary role as the 'peacekeeper' parent who goes 'but your dad loves you, he just wants you safe' bullshit trope that's just really not what this generation is looking for rn.

Emotionally mature parents is what's on topic rn. Dad's that step up and know what they're doing and don't have the 2000s 'military hardass emotionally distant' bullcrap. Just look at all the other movies and shows with family themes that did really fucking well. The Last of Us. Ultraman: Rising. Nimona. Even Maleficent, which I think is one of the earliest movies of this trope that's well known. They did well for a reason. You can't make Jake Sully a bad father and think the current audience will dig it. All of his kids, one way or another felt the pressure of living up to their dad's expectations, and im sure, whether he really loves them. And I assure you for all intents and purposes it felt like Neteyam died thinking he wasnt enough. You can't have those 'your dad loves you but he just doesn't know how to show it' bullshit anymore and expect the audience to like or even relate to that character cause a lot of us don't take that shit anymore from our own parents. A lot of millennials are actively trying to be present and good parents to their kids. So yeah. The way Jake Sully, and to a certain extent, Neytiri were characterised is probably one of the biggest reasons this entire movie flopped. It could have been great. But it isn't. And I kind of hate it actually.

My point is: if there's gonna be a third movie, the best bet to make sure it doesn't follow the way of waters footsteps is to overhaul a lot of the characterisation and plot. See what the audience wants rn, and what they audience relates to. It was clear the writing to that movie was old as balls and gen z or gen alpha don't take that shit man. Give us good parents

Edit: okay as someone pointed it out it wasn't actually a 'flop' flop because they grossed by over a billion or smth in the box office I think but to be fair half this post has been sitting in my drafts for like 2 years and I wrote this soon after I watched it back then, and a LOT of people werent that happy with it. But yall know what I mean. I waited for this movie for 10 years and all I felt was this low simmering disappointment because it could have been so good, but it wasn't.

[zvdvdlvr]

Would love some more Hotchner blurbs. How about one where you are BAU and have a baby girl (name is up to you) and you bring in the little doll because you (and baby girl) wanted to see daddy? If you are against writing for children, please write Hotch x Reader where she is a civilian and has a stalker problem? Would love to see protective Aaron Hotchner. Thanks

— Popsicles

📎 — synopsis. You, Jack, and Giada go and visit dad at work!

📎 — warnings. Fluff. Tooth rotting fluff. Jack calls reader ‘mommy’. Will def be writing about reader with a stalker problem :)

The summer heat in Virginia was downright unbearable. To you especially, considering your aversion to heat. Thankfully, after being given a rather generous maternity leave, you could enjoy most of the beginning of summer in the air conditioned house.

Of course, Aaron had to go back for work earlier than you. That left you, Jack, and little baby Giada at home most of the time. You loved your babies- blood or not- but still missed the last part of your family: your husband.

So now here you are, Giada in arms as Jack jumps excitedly in the elevator with a cooler in his arms. Giada had been cooing and scratching at everyone and everything for the better part of two hours. You smiled down at the baby, heart swelling with joy as Jack wrapped an arm around your leg and started ushering you forward.

“Aunt Penny!” Jack shouted, dropping the cooler and heading straight towards his favorite technical analyzer. You reached down for the cooler before Derek materialized beside you and picked it up before you could.

“Not letting you lift a finger, y/n,” Derek scolded.

You just chuckled, earning a loud squeal from Giada. “Yeah, baby? Tell ‘im.”

Derek chuckled and wrapped an arm around you before moseying over to where Jack animatedly told Emily, Spencer, and Penelope about the Spider-Man cartoon he’d been watching.

Emily still listened intently as she wrappen an arm around you and let Giada grip her finger tightly. “It’s been rough without you,” she whispered to you. “I think Hotch misses you more than all of the rest of us combined- if that’s even possible.”

You nod, adjusting Giada. The toothy smile she shot up at you and Emily made all the recent sleepless nights worth it. “It’s been hard on all of us- being separated. I just might call Strauss up and tell her Derek needs to take over for awhile again.”

“Do it,” Emily agrees with a chuckle. She gently pries her finger out of Giada’s and nods towards Hotch’s office with a go get your man.

Your surprised that Aaron didn’t emerge like a caveman from his office (mancave) when Jack announced his presence, but at least now you have the opportunity to surprise him. A short come in filters through the door after your gentle knocked. You entered, seeing Aaron’s hunched over body. He wrote fast, you noticed. A smile lit up your face: positioned unprofessionally close to Aaron was a photo of all of you with Giada asleep in your lap- Jack’s head rested on your thigh with his mouth open in a little ‘O’ as he slept. Aaron was sat on the other side of you when he took that picture. He whipped out his cell and angled the phone so that you and the kiddos took up most of the screen.

“Say hi, baby,” you murmured, gently poking your baby girl’s chubby belly. Giada replied with a mix between a raspberry and a laugh.

Aaron’s head shot up. In record time, he crossed the room and enveloped the two of you in his arms and exhaled deeply. “Hi.”

You smiled up at him when he pulled away. “Hi, you,” you mumbled as your free hand came up to run a hand through Aaron’s tousled hair. “Gi and Jay wanted to come say hi… We miss you.”

Aaron’s eyes softened. “I missed you too, sweetheart.” He basked in the feeling of your comfort and Giada’s mindless babbling. “Where is Jack?”

“Handing out popsicles to the team,” you answered. “Here,” you eased Giada out of your arms and into Aaron’s. You watched with soft eyes as Aaron smiled brightly at the little body, gasping when her head fell on his shoulder.

“Clumsy girl,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the girl’s temple before adjusting her in his arms and letting you lead the way to the bullpen.

Rossi had joined the crowd of federal agents that now scarfed down popsicles like it was their last meal.

“Look who finally showed up,” Rossi quipped, jabbing you in the arm with a red popsicle. “Took you two lovebirds long enough.”

Jack giggled at your encounter and held up a popsicle. “Here mommy- I saved one for you! Uncle Spence was gonna eat it and it was the last blue one!”

“Thank you so much, kiddo,” you answered, accepting the blue raspberry popsicle. You held it out so Penelope could cut the top off for you. “Where’s J.J.?”

Spencer pointed in the direction of her office, wordlessly crunching the frozen treat. You held open and Jack took it. “Grab a green one so these heathens don’t eat all the good ones,” you told Jack. He grabbed one and giggled, avoiding Emily’s attempt to tickle him.

Jack pulled you forward, singing a random excerpt from a classic rock song you’d heard on the drive to the office. He skipped up and down, something you would have told him not to do if he was munching on a popsicle. You smiled to yourself, wondering how you’d gotten so lucky for your family.

[dreamauri]

begging for a new “for sentimental reasons” chapter.

I AM STARVED

♪ — 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗦 - part nine charles leclerc  x  fem! driver! reader (angst) “… forgetting is troublesome especially when you used to be enemies.”

voice notes 🔊 . . . ( very short, sorry. AND BEFORE YOU READ. IM ALSO VERY VERY SORRY. theres still a few more chapters to get to. so, relax )

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You gulped as you turned up the volume on the tv, tears stinging your eyes as you watched Andrew Garfield's spider man on the TV, swinging around. And no matter how loud or visually distracting the movie was you could still hear your father shouting on the phone in the other room. Your one chance at getting a sponsor and you perform a very lovely last place. "ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THIS, BECAUSE I AM VERY HAPPY." You flinched as you watched him enter the room, shutting the door. "What was I even thinking? You're just a stupid girl."

-

"Hey." You wiped your tears looking up at the blurry figure. "Bad day, huh?" He sat beside you. You looked at him confused, who was this guy? "You had a bad day too?" "Very bad." You could almost put a finger on his accent. "What happened to you?" A deep sigh rocked your chest as you reieved your memories from earlier. "I haven't been performing that well in my profession recently, my team is going to drop me . . . My dad was right, I'm just a stupid girl." "I beg to differ . . . When I look at you I see, . . . this strong woman who's put me in shock several times. She's very strong, and just as beautiful." You tried to blink your eyes clean. Who was this drunk stranger trying to comfort an equally drunk girl on the side of the street. "What's your name?" “Carl.” He lied straight through his teeth.

-

“Carl? Are you following me? What are you doing in this part of the world?” “I was going to ask you that question! I missed you!”

-

“How long till she realizes Carl is the guy she hates the most in the world?” “Shut up, Lando.” “Oh, I’m sorry Charles— I mean, Carl.”

-

“Hey?” You snapped your head up, looking at the boy confused. Now was really not the time. You were balancing your whole weight on your feet. Rehabilitation sessions after a 48g crash wasn’t something you could chat through. “Leclerc. If you don’t mind, I’m expecting company—” “I am company.” “Boy, just go. I have no energy to fight with you.” “I’m Carl . . .” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Yeah I know, now please leave.”

-

“Y/N, please.” Charles held your hand. “In the time I spent with you, I’ve grown . . . feelings for you.” You chuckled. “You grew feelings? What is it? A plant? You don't grow feelings, Charles.” “Now's not the time to correct my english!” “Yeah yeah. Okay well, we were drunk, drunk people do stupid stuff.” “I wasn’t drunk! You were.” “—I’ll punch your face.” “SORRY, sorry. Just. I really do love you, Y/N!” “HAH— AND I'M A POTATO.”

-

“Give me this one chance! Please, Y/N." "Why should I?! Why do you love me?" "I— I dont know?! You make me happy! You make me feel safe. Its just— sentimental reasons, okay?"

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Oh . . .”

In extreme truth revealing situations, emotions are always easy to blind humans, especially when it comes to betrayal. Somepeople may act rashly and take risks. Some people stand incredibly still. Their eyes wide, heart cracking and shattering. Some feel silent anger, others feel a panic attack crashing in. 

Maybe things can be better. Right? You can always fix what's broken, whether it was objects or bones. Feelings too. You can fix your feelings, yes? Yes? You can forgive him. Of course you can, can you not? You love him. You need him. 

The tears that fill your eyes start to run down your cheeks and neck. A hiccup slowly leaves your lips as you continue to look down at your shoes. Breathing was getting harder and your hands that hugged you into yourself gripped your biceps a little too harshly, warm crimson was dripping down your arm and fingers.

“H—how—” how dare you, you wanted to ask. The blurry figure in red tried to take a step closer only for you to take one back in return. “I thought I— I thought—” You shut your mouth to hold back the sobs. You brushed your hair from your face, a sad chuckle leaving your lips as you wiped your eyes.

“Why—” You looked at Charles, demanding an explanation. The pain felt immense. The panic washed away and was soon replaced by anger and sadness. “I thought I could trust you? I thought we were a team?” You took a step forward grabbing his wrist holding up the pliers. “I don’t even want to know what you were doing.”

 You dropped his hand before pushing past him. 

[clown-energy-skyrocketing]

so basically. I am a clown. [READ THE WHOLE THING OR ILL CRY]

status: ONLINE

Ppl put this aesthetic thing here so imma do it, pretend to be amazed:

my full legal name [not reaaaaally]: Knox Finn Anaise

im currently trying to survive for the: 16th year in a row [I WAS BORN ON A LEAP YEAR LEGALLY IM 3 YEARS OLD] My gender: i was going to make a funny joke but it’s inappropriate so I’ll be boring and just say im a dude [if y’all can convince me to change it to the joke….]

MY HEIGHT: 8’2 (totally definitely not 5’11)

Sexuality: everyone is hot. Oh no!

birthday: February 29 [WOO HOO. LEAP YEAR. FUCK THIS. IM LEGALLY 3 YEARS OLD]

status: single and ready to jingle [like a fool, miserably on the ground: see below image]

godly parent: im not a demigod im just a human that the muses [my badass adoptive mothers] decided to take pity on so i GUESS im a demigod?????????

powers:

-i can dance very well thanks to momma Terpsichore

-i can write songs and poems and hymns thanks to momma Calliope and momma Polyhymnia

-I can write spicy fan fiction thanks to momma Erato (do not ask me to i will die)

-i can play EVERY INSTRUMENT IN THE WORLD thanks to momma Euterpe

-i can be a dramatic fucker because of momma Thalia [comedy=ADHD] and momma Melpomene [tragedy=depression]

-i can randomly point to stars and know their names coz of momma Urania [do not call her ur anus. She gets cranky.]

BASICALLY I CAN SING, DANCE, PLAY MUSIC, CRY, LAUGH, READ UR ZODIAC SIGN, WRITE FANFICTION. I AM A CLOWN 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

birthplace: ohio, USA [a lie]

Lore: I’m just a mortal dude who immigrated and was until recently living out of a homeless shelter.

No i am not an ambassador of skibidi toilet, im just failing at life

anyways heres what I look like externally

SO DEMURE. SO MINDFUL.

THIS IS HOW I AM INTERNALLY

MY CLOWN PATROL [LITERALLY JST MY TAGLIST ASK TO BE ADDED OR REMOVED:

@unhinged-as-hell [first client, CURRENT SPONSOR TO THE CHICKEN NUGGIES FUND]

@of-course-im-the-winner [second client, GAVE ME MONEYYY]

@demigod-jack-hearth (Bebe)

@if-chaos-was-a-boy [SUGAR DADDY, PAPACITAAA😍😍🔥🔥🔥]

@that-girl-cupid [NOT COMPETITOR]

@chaos-pers0nified [theatre nerd?????????]

@gay-emo-child-of-pluto [MY CHILDDD WITH PAPI WRAITH 🔥🔥🔥😩😍]

@stephen-the-spider [i wish i had siblings]

@bambi-the-dummy (slay, mother, girl boss)

@braydons-world (NEWEST SPONSOR)

@daonedaonlyskh [SHES COOL AS FUCK]

MY FAMILYY:

@penelope-is-waiting [my mami. She’s so nice.] @odysseus-of-ithaca-is-lost [my new dad. He’s still gone] @professionally-mocking-you [my new god adoptive dad]

This my songs recommendations:

CLICK ON THE IMAGES TO SEE CLEARLY.

OKAY IM LAZY TO WRITE ANYMORE, MCDONALDS PLS SPONSOR ME. PEACE.

[thevindicativevordan]

Hi, hope you are doing well. I am the anon who asked this question about the Maker (post/730144525324009472/im-conflicted-about-the-maker-as-a-character-on) and I wanted to know what are your thoughts on the Marvel Universe as remade by the Maker? I understand that most of it is a comentary/analogy to real life events, with technocompanies rulling the USA, the USA doing experiments in the Pacific with radiation, basically everything Midas stand for, etc. But, looking from the Maker point of view, how do you think it fits with what he wants? And what do you think he wants, in the end?

Perfect time to ask me this because after I got temp banned from the CBR Forums recently, I decided to read all of Ultimate Fantastic Four. I need to amend my earlier post regarding the Maker - he does actually feel like a believable evolution on the flaws that were always present in 1610 Reed:

Even before he became a homicidal maniac, 1610 Reed Richards was a dick. There was a mean streak and petulancy that I had forgotten about. A willingness to walk riiiiiiiight up to the moral divide that was present from the very beginning. Millar, Bendis, and Ellis all established Maker as having a darker side. Using torture against Doom was on the table, he flat out rejected the possibility that he had made a mistake, he did messed up science experiments for fun. The pieces were all there! Alas the execution sucked. I still stand by what I posted here regarding the Ultimate Doom trilogy:

Bendis' depiction of his "fall" was awful and incoherent. Under Bendis, Reed instantly becomes the type of guy willing to commit cold blooded murder against both his family and other heroes for no real reason. If Reed is pissed about the military controlling everything, why is he trying to kill Peter Parker? Shouldn't he be trying to kill Nick Fury and destroy SHIELD? That at least would make sense, Ultimate Nick Fury is a fucking awful person. Instead he murders his entire family instead of just his asshole dad because... I don't know, he's just evil now. A writer can't write someone smarter than them, and Bendis is just not the guy for tackling the world's smartest heroic mind descending into villainy. Reed's plan is dumb and paper thin.

Coldly murdering his mother and sister Enid - his sister whom he went through all the effort to save from Psycho-Man in one of the final UFF arcs! - reads even more egregiously out of character. Why did he kill those two and not just his asshole dad? No clue, Bendis never bothered to give us an explanation. Trying to kill all of SHIELD after the UFF fall apart makes perfect sense to me after reading Ultimate Power for the first time. 1610 Nick Fury is evil. Fury is a monster whom even Dick Cheney would have to kneel in awe before. Asshole deserves to die and SHIELD should be destroyed. Sending suicide bombers to murder Spider-Man and his other heroic peers on the other hand?

No Bendis, you need to actually explain WTF Maker was thinking there because that makes no sense AND it doesn't line up with his previous characterization! Maker didn't want to kill the zombie F4 despite them 1. Being undead and 2. Planning to infect and eat everyone on his Earth. He wasn't willing to kill Doom even after Ultimatum. Then suddenly off-screen he becomes the kind of guy who murders his sister who only ever looked up to and worshiped him, and his mother who tried to support him and showed him nothing but love? Terrible writing, and it makes me so mad because everything else is brilliant setup unintentional though it was.

Pages like this one floored me. You read this knowing they were not setting up Maker yet somehow it perfectly does just that. The other Baxter Building kids breaking off to form their own perfect society in a secret city tucked away from private eyes? Being sick of how they were forced to serve the military? Commitment to the idea to the point they're willing to kill the F4 and any military personnel sent after them? In-universe this, and other events like Psycho-Man's utopia, likely served as the foundation for where Maker came up with the idea of the City. Everything fits! It's a natural result of Maker having an enormous ego, having seen others make their own attempts at building utopias, tossing morality aside, and going "they failed but I'll succeed. I don't make mistakes like they do."

Begs the question OP asked: why did he make Earth 6160 into the way it is? Fantastic question especially considering that both as a hero, and during his initial fall to villainy, Maker hated the "corruption" of science into a force that only served the elite.

Yet the world of 6160 is exactly what he claimed to hate! America collapsed into a realm ruled by technocrats who abused science to enrich themselves. Freaking Midas is in the White House using cosmic energy as a power source for his war suit and the electric grid. What gives? Is it just Maker being a hypocrite? Maker offers two justifications in Ultimate Invasion. First, that he ran civilization models in the City and humanity cannot accept perfect peace. If you've ever watched the Matrix you know how that argument goes. We aren't built to live in paradise. Our human natures are too fallible, when offered the option we reject it. Given Maker's god complex it does suit him that he invokes the Biblical explanation for why evil exists - human nature demands it.

However, there's a second justification. Maker treats Earth 6160 as his playground, his laboratory. He's the Emperor of the World, and with that comes those who would covet his throne. Keeping the world full of conflicts and evils keeps people divided. They're so busy fighting each other that they can't unite against him. Hitler, Genghis Khan, Bismarck, Stalin, Mao, history is full of dictators who employed similar logic to maintain power. Yes it makes him a hypocrite but Maker is beyond caring about the "small minded" dreams he had back before he jumped off the slippery slope.

Regarding what he wants power for, there are two likely motives to parallel his two justifications. I believe he is trying to create the "Ultimate Earth", an Earth that lives up to what he wanted 1610 to be. Time travelling to the future indicates that he is at the very least invested in this Earth's well-being. He saved it from Galactus, he kept the Council from spiraling out of control as they now threaten to do in his absence. He supported scientific and technological advancements that did improve life for everyone. Howard mentions curing cancer. Maker's Ultimate Earth appears to be a technologically advanced society where the peoples lives are improved at the cost of their freedom. In a single word: Latveria. Fitting for a Reed who has gone the way of Doom.

Unsurprisingly Maker's other motive is much more selfish and narcissistic: he wants to screw with Earth 6160 Reed.

Mentioned this before somewhat in my previous post:

My theory is that it's because Maker is trying to take a Reed who is similar to 616 Reed and transform the guy into a monster like him. It's his middle finger to 616 Reed. Maker wants to prove that 616 Reed isn't better than him, if Mr. Fantastic had lost his family and been put through hell like Maker had, he would break too. That 6160 Reed is, so far, not a monster like Maker pisses Maker off. It's not logical to keep 6160 Reed around, and doing so leads to Maker's fall.

Additionally there's some clear self-hatred going on.

Note the callback to UFF with the "I don't make mistakes" line. People talk about Sue rejecting the marriage offer as being the big divergence point between the 616 and 1610 Reeds. I think it goes back even further. 616 Reed was the one who messed up his friends lives. 1610 Reed however was blameless. 1610 Doom, not Reed, was the one who caused the accident that gave the Four their powers. In Ultimate Power it was Doom's meddling which was revealed to have killed millions of people despite Maker initially being blamed. Maker never had to feel the guilt that Mr. Fantastic has to live with. Always when it seemed like he had screwed up, a reveal came to absolve him of any responsibility. Arguably his two greatest pre-Maker screw-ups were teleporting to the zombie Earth and creating the Cosmic Cube and guess what? Both of those were because of external agents in the forms of zombie Reed and Thanos meddling with his head.

So having done nothing wrong his whole life, never having screwed up with nobody to blame but himself, when Sue dumped him and his whole life fell apart because he put saving the world over his personal desires in Ultimatum? Knowing, thanks to zombie Reed, that there were Reeds out there who got married and had families and kept the Four together despite making mistakes? My headcanon is that's what broke him. Also that's why he made Doom's life hell. 6160 Reed was supposed to live the life 616 Reed got, the kind of life Maker wanted. Instead he lost everything. Why? Because from Maker's point of view, Doom doesn't deserve that kind of happiness. Why should Maker, a Reed who never made mistakes, be the one Reed denied that joy while all the Reeds who are responsible for transforming their friends get to have that?

So Maker took 6160 Reed and gave him the life he thinks Mr. Fantastic should've gotten. 6160 Reed made the mistake of not double checking his notes and lost everything. He ended up with the burnt face and Doom moniker because from Maker's point of view, that is what should have happened to 616 Reed. Maker should be the beloved hero with the fantastic family as befitting a Reed who never made mistakes, not the unworthy Reeds who are fallible. In Maker's mind, 616 Reed should be the one whose Sue rejected him and became a villain. His words in Ultimate Invasion about having thought about what he and 616 Reed would be like if they swapped lives support this.

There's a beautiful symmetry going on here between Maker and Doom. Dooms usually blame Reeds for ruining their lives by sabotaging Doom's experiments. Here is a Doom for whom that belief is valid, and his obsession with Maker completely justified. Except it's himself that he's obsessed with, just as Maker is clearly obsessed with Mr. Fantastic. A grand ouroboros of Reeds chasing after one another. Fitting, for Reeds have always been their own worse enemies.

[sockiestupidity]

Heyy I heard you needed more fluff so can you maybe write found family with Miguel and the reader calls him dad by accident

Or (because I recently came out as trans)

Can you write the reader coming out as trans to either the teens like gwen miles hobie and Pavitr or the adults like Jess Peter b and Miguel :)

(chose the first bc someone else requested smth similar)

warnings-READER SPEAKS???😨😨😨 MEANIE MIGUEL, THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE FLUFF BUT ACCIDENTALLY MADE IT ANGST BC IM HAVING ✨PARENTAL ISSUES✨ (reader calls miguel dad but in a traumatized way🫰)

pls forgive my extremely bad writing ive been feeling extremely shitty (very bad mood swings and delusions🤘) and ive been rlly busy (school🥰) (also this whole thing is rlly bad)

it had been quite a hectic day for you as a spider-person. you had an exhausting day at school, as most of your classes had scheduled tests for the same day. but the choas didn't stop once you got home, as you had more studying, and on top of that you also had work later

suddenly, miguel texts you on your watch "need you for some missions" the text bluntly states

you sigh, changing into your suit quickly. after changing you open a portal and jump through it, you find this act very nauseating.

you land in hq, taking a moment to stabilize yourself before heading to miguels office (lab?)

you arrive, knocking to let him know of your presence, he turns to face you with a hardened expression, you could tell just by his face that he wasn't too pleased with whatever he called you for.

you look at him and grab your phone, typing something. "what did you need me for miguel? you messaged me just as i was about to get ready for work" the robot voice speaks from your phone.

he looks at you and scoffs "being a spider person is a big responsibility, if you cant handle it, i suggest you quit (yeesh)." you watch as his muscles start to tense, setting you off

you feel yourself starting to tear up, and suddenly speak up "i-i-im sorry dad i-i'll work " your lip trembles and you back away from him fearfully

his demeanor softens as he watches you begin to hyperventilate, he mutters a curse under his breath, not really knowing what to do.

he remembers you briefly mentioning your comfort items to gwen when the two of you were planning a sleepover. he quickly pulls up a portal, transporting him to your room. he grabs your stuffed animal and weighted blanket.

he transports himself back to hq, seeing you still stick in your dazed, panicked state. he drapes the blanket around you, and intructs you to breathe.

he patiently waits for you to come to your senses, once you have done so he looks at you with a soct expression, contrasting his previously hardened gaze, he speaks up "kid i- i didnt mean to yell at you like that. you wanna talk?"

A/N:I didnt finish the rest bc i gave up im srry it took so long pls forgive me😭 its severely unedited but idk i felt bad for like being non-existent lmao

[cult-of-the-eye]

What experience I would give as a statement to Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London? Statement fucking begins...

Summer after GCSEs, whole fam picks up and goes to India for 3 weeks

Listen we are hubristic. We literally go from Britain to Turkey to Delhi airport, to a different airport, to Banaras in a taxi, to Siliguri in a sleeper train, to Kalimpong in a car, back to Siliguri in a van, then to Kolkata in a sleeper bus, to Dhakha, Bangladesh by plane, to my grandparents place in Sylhet by car, then back to Dhakha, then back to Delhi, then back to Turkey and then back to Britain.

Tell me we didn't have at least one entity on our side.

None of us got ill. We had a 6 yr old with us. She didn't complain one bit. I'm 100% sure I blacked out for the majority of it. No other explanation than paranormal.

Those sales assistants in shops have to be fucking avatars of the web or something the way they fucking smile and you until you've blinked and you've bought 3 lehengas and she's like very good ma'am

I met my grandma's sister who looks exactly like my grandma, speaks the exact same way, acts the exact same way. It was so uncanny I could've sworn she just was her. Probably very normal explanation (genetics) but we can never be sure.

I made friends with a hand sized spider in a bathroom by singing "Mr spider, please don't kill me" in the tune of Mr sandman to it every day. It disappeared on the last day. (giving spiral)

I got myself an Indian accent. I am not Indian. (Most of my family is from Bangladesh, I was born there) I am not good at accents. I'm not sure how this transpired (could be some elaborate sociolinguistics explanation but I'm gonna go with paranormal)

We went on a massive family day out with cousins to a river near the mountains and we all had a great time until this little menace of a cousin literally got carried away by a current and we were terrified until one of my uncles literally grabbed him by the leg and yanked him out right before he would've gotten completely carried away. I don't think that's pure luck, personally.

My aunts staged an intervention for me about my posture (Not supernatural, Im just salty)

My dad successfully convinced some strangers who sat next to him on the plane that the reason me and my siblings spoke such good English was that we went to an English medium school. When pressed, he came up with the most elaborate story ever. He gave them a random school we went to, told them we were his boss' kids and he was taking us home, bullshitted a company and then when one of them went oh my dad is a higher up in that company, he says oh didn't he retire recently and the guy goes yeah he did! We are completely oblivious of this story, until he leans over and tells us not to call him dad for the rest of the plane journey. If that's not fucking Stranger behaviour then what is.

We get home, exhausted out of our minds and we realise we can't find our fucking front door key. We pile into the back garden and proceed to search through the entirety of our bags, trouser pockets, pockets within bags, we're all on the verge of tears, I'm catatonic, my little sister has picked up a stick and is slowly peeling it, my other sister is the only one actually looking and my dad is staring at the luggage, as if it had grown legs and was doing a little dance right before his eyes. We do find the keys after 20 minutes. We never mention this again. That's fucking paranormal shit right there don't even try to convince me otherwise. Michael the distortion was fucking with us.

Statement ends... (Although that's definitely not even half the shit that happened)

Watch Jonathan "Jarchivist" Sims crumble beneath my experiences. Hes so bamboozled that he forgets to try and discredit me. I bring him a packet of laddoos and some aachar.

[ghostsprettymama]

Obsession for your love.

PAIRING: Miles Quaritch x Male! Na'vi ! Sully !Reader

WARNING: M x M,Angst,Enemies to Lovers,passionate sex,murder talk.

PLOT: After the recent war with your family ( the sully's) Ronal decided to have this man change his ways, or death, by you.

WORD COUNT: 3,224 words 16,870 characters

You sighed, getting up in your own Marui pod, your head hitting Quaritch's, The crazy fuck was watching you sleep. "you should be dead." you hissed out.

"Well, im not dead Yet sugar." He said standing up, you rolled your eyes. "Spider should've let you drown. But you gave the boy Stockholm. " You left your Marui pod, Miles following behind.

"Did your cock get stuck up your ass or?" Quaritch said, you turned around looking him in the eyes barring your teeth. " you threaten to kill all of my family and me because of your WEIRD freak obsession with my dad and winning, you almost killed my younger brother neteyam, and you NEARLY blew us up on that shitty ship!" You shouted.

"Okay okay, I admit I had my moments. but aren't you the one that almost beat my ass on the ship with your father? I think I deserve an apology too" He said sarcastically

"YOU THREW ME INTO THE WATER AFTER HOLDING ME, HOSTAGE??" you said, "calm down little boy don't get your thin panties in a twist." Quaritch rolled his eyes. " I am 19, nothing about me is young" you corrected him.

"How old do you think I am," he asked "the age to fucking disintegrate," you replied. "51 when I was human. now? about 24 in this body." he said.

Tuktirey came out tugging your arm "Y/n! mama asked if you can make me new clothes, she's busy " Tuktirey asked. " Of course my Chikibaby," you said, giving her a light kiss on your forehead.

You went into the marui pod, sitting next to your father. Jake was rebraiding Tuk's hair, when Quaritch came in he looked at you "Did Ronal leave him to you" He said, his eyes not leaving Quaritch. " Our problem. I fix it"

"He has no intention of hurting anyone for now I believe, but I did not come to argue. Ronal said if he did anything involving murdering or harming us, I kill him immediately, and mother already agreed to let me do this" You said, making new clothes for your sibling, jake sighed and looked at Quaritch. "if I find you did anything to my son, or WITH him. I will kill you myself" Jake promised.

"Papa im grow- "No. not in my eyes" he said, his tone meant that this wasn't something to argue about. you sighed knowing your father was just trying to protect you. "I don't need to be protected" you finished the clothes handing them to Your Sister.

"Now I have to go collect herbs." you got up leaving, and qauritch followed but turned to jake. "Looks like someone's oldest son likes me already." He smiled at him.

Tuk hissed when he left, and neteyam stared at him, you collected herbs with neteyam and Lo'ak.

"So they just told you to solve the problem," Neteyam said, his nonexistent eyebrow raising "Since our father didn't finish it, and For some reason, The tsahik Trusts me more than any of you" you picked herbs putting them in your basket. "Why doesn't she trust me?" Said Lo'ak.

you gave him a face. "You went past the reef, almost died, brought back pakayan, the reason WHY I have to babysit him" you pointed at Quaritch towering above you. "and on top of that I almost died, and she had to clean the mess," Neteyam said.

"Hey, at least there's no funeral," Quaritchs Raspy voice said, your stomach had butterflies in it, and as his hands rested on your shoulders you gulped.

"Well..'m gonna go " you sighed, walking away from Quaritch as you went to aonung, you looked at Ronal to see if it was okay to treat him.

"What happened now little one?" you joked with him, he rolled his eyes, luckily he has a soft spot for you.

"Neteyam," he said. "aw boo. fight with your boyfriend?" you teased as you treated him rubbing the green mush around his eyes

"It stinks.” he said “ well, that's what medicine smells like when you get bruises like this.” you hummed

“What want a hug too? “ you said, Quaritch glared at him shaking his head, fear struck through Aonung, and he shook his head.

“Hm, well that's it Ms tsahik. Just re-apply it every hour" Ronal nodded shooting you out. you hummed walking along the shore. you picked up shells, and every time you bent down, you heard Quaritch grunt. this time you kept doing it purposely, he kicked water at you, and you laughed splashing him back

the water splashing turned into a water fight, soon you tackled him deep in the water, and he kicked you off of him as he sank.

you forgot he can't breathe underwater.

shit.

you swam down looking for him, hands grabbed you from behind and you forgot everything, you just screamed underwater, the noise being muffled as you choked.

The ex-general noticed pulling you up to the surface, you spat the water out as he pulled you to shore. you hyperventilated as he held you, you never were so afraid. "calm down. it's okay it was just me" he said getting a hit in his face, h e sighed" okay I deserved that but for the love of god BREATHEE." he said.

You listened calming down, then you began to go off on him "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS! you drive me nuts! I HAVE TO BABYSIT YOU! AND ALL YOU DO IS FLIRT, BE SARCASTIC AND SCOWL AT BOYS WHO TOUCH ME LIKE YOU HAVE A CRUSH ??" you threw up your arms in defeat. " and on top of that you threatened to kill us all but you refuse to do it! and you just play with me ?? you're just so- you got interrupted by Quaritch kissing you deeply, and you whimpered when your hair was grabbed by him his other hand on Your throat.

Jake interrupted by clearing his throat, you didn't budge, he did it louder as you jumped, and both of you stood.

"So you're disobeying orders? " your father said, jake was furious and so was your mother beside him." kissing someone that threatened our lives too..?" Jake said. you felt overwhelmed again

Quaritch got in front of you. "He's grown. he can do as he pleases." he folded his arms. "no Quaritch it's fine." you pulled him back and out of the way, gently.

"Im grown dad.. like he said, I completed the rites of passage and I have my bow.. from the tree too. " you said getting closer " I have my ikran. I have everything I need but I most definitely don't need a mate.. but yet even tho we're here for peace... you brought war and I HAVE TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOU. I have to take care of quaritch and yet both of you still boss me around hand me tasks and try to control my life! you already do this to neteyam and you know how that makes me feel. you are not Tsahik or Toruk makto anymore... why can't you just treat us like your kids and not soldiers. " you looked at him, balding your fists.

You got in his face as he looked down at you angered "Ma jake- "Neytiri pushed him back gently not wanting a fight to start. "your father is just concerned .." Neytiri said, She knew you couldn't handle Jake's words well.

"Im concerned. that skxwang - you snapped. Neytiri watched your fists connect to your dad's jaw. he moved slightly turning to you with a bloody nose, and he hit you back. you fell on your knees, your hair tie broke, you looked at him and all he could see is Neytiri.

"Maybe if he wasn't fucking hard-headed he'd known that I fear that this bastard would kill him," he said to Neytiri.

"Maybe if you showed you cared instead of working me to death and treating me like we're still back home and im the best warrior in the world that you only fucking have I would know. you treat me like tsu'tey treated you. and I don't deserve that" you said " maybe if you DID CARE you'd treat me,lo'ak and neteyam well." you teared up storming off.

Neytiri looked at Quaritch shaking her head"Why must you prey on my son and manipulate him? you're doing nothing but tearing us apart. I should rip you apart." She hissed at him.

Qauritch shook his head "Im sorry if you think what im doing is about you or trigger happy husband over there- actually im not. your Son has done more than therapy and rehab can so in the past weeks even if he got defensive thinking at any time I could kill him, which I could. but I don't want to because of how I feel. I don't know if it's love but. I have no tntent on harming him. i want to be with him and keep him safe." he declared

"You are not accepted into this family or as his mate. I don't approve" Neytiri Declared. "Good thing eywa decides" Quaritch smirked.

"he won't choose you, not after how you hurt us," Jake said, quaritch dropped all his weapons. he was serious.

jake and Neytiri stepped back. "Fine. if you wish to go ahead. but if you hurt him I will take your heart and eat it. in front of you." Neytiri hissed leaving.

"Are you serious about this?" Jake asked Qauritch nodded sitting down, and jake sat beside him. "I don't forgive you. neither will the kids but. if my son loves you then I can't fight that" Jake said.

"Sully. why do you sound so damn depressed" Quaritch looked at him confused " my son is literally kissing a War criminal," jake said

Blue = jake

orange = qauritch

"aren't you one too"

"not the point"

"But I can't be one"

"no? you want to be with my son right? so abandon your past for him."

Quaritch thought about it, he got up to go to find Y/n. he wanted to see if he felt this way.

Y/n was seen feeding ilu with his siblings. they didn't sense Him yet.

"So you claim not to like him but punched dad for calling him skxwang, stood up to BOTH of our parents and defended us, and almost brawled him for one man?" Lo'ak said mockingly. "Bro you're the oldest and give us romance advice yet you can't see your own" Neteyam said laughing.

"You got Lo'ak And reya together yet .. can't tell a man you like him?" Kiri asked "I care about what happened yeah but, you're just so distressed, we're hurt but care about you more ya ’know? " kiri said.

"you took care of us! let us help you" tuktirey said hugging Y/n's leg. " Tuk chikibaby.. thank you " Y/n crouched hugging her. "but sometimes you gotta do big girl stuff 'n do it on your own," Y/n said turning around to see Miles.

He tilted his head pretending he didn't understand. you blushed looking at your younger siblings who were giving you the thumbs up.

You rolled your eyes, you did not wanna deal with this today, but since it's happening, you might as well, just do it.

you took Miles to your marui pod, and he allowed it. He absolutely loved where this was going.

You made sure to close your entrance. “So about what they said Y/n. Was it true?” He tilted his head, the white patterns illuminating in the dark as he backed you into a wall.

You felt your stomach turn. “yes..” you said. “ and how do you feel about me.” Miles smiled, Damn his smile was attractive to you. He put his hand above you getting on your level.

“That I despise you so much that I like you. No, that I've grown to love your crazy ass. In 2 months and 8 weeks. I've grown to love how fucking stupid and bold you are.” you went on and on and on.

he picked you up. You instinctively wrapped your legs around him, his neck trapped between your arms. “god you talk too fuckin much.” he said kissing you so tender, your hands explored his back as his hand was on your throat.

you were at it for hours, fondling and foreplay. he placed you down kissing down your body while maintaining eye contact.

He watched your soft expressions and whimpers when he left bite marks and hickeys. "no fair .. my body always revealed everyone's gonna see" you gasped as your cock throbbed.

"good. You're Gonna belong to me. My mate." Quadritch said "you want me to be your mate?" you asked. "no shit. I want YOU only you." he said.

he went to your cloth, "Can i ?" He said he wanted this moment to be special. "Of course. anytime you want"

He said taking your cloth off, your Hard cock sprung into his face, throbbing, and you panted leaning your head back.

"This how much you love me baby?" he caressed your body kissing your cock, you bucked your hips up, thrusting into nothing.

"Have you not had a heat cycle? how are you this needy." He said teasing you.

An unknown fact about your species was that the rut and heat cycles are, vulnerable times for your kind.

"This is why you were so sensitive... YOURE IN ONE THIS WEEK?? .. boy am I gonna have fun with you" he was talking too much. "that's why you smelt so go-

your instincts took over as you shoved your cock in his mouth, full strength too. he gagged a bit as you huffed and whimpered. "im so sorryyy.. my body is acting on its own.." You said ruthlessly fucking his mouth.

Miles took control soon taking you nice and good as his tongue explored and licked you.

"Mmh im gonna cum soon fffuck. just stay at that ppaceee..." you said as you and he connected Queues.

It was so much better, you felt everything he felt, and knew what he knew. Qauritch bobbed his head up and down faster taking you whole, you moaned and whined, your ears pinning back.

"ffuck!" you came inside his throat, the crazy freaky fuck swallowed it all. every last drop.

"That was bold of you. Your scent is driving me crazy.” he sat up, you looked at his bulge with a smile. You were on all fours crawling over to him, unbuckling his belt, undoing the buttons as your hands slid into his pants. “I wanna make you feel good,” you said feeling his cock throb.

“mmh fuck. how could I say no to your precious soul.”He said. gladly you took it out, gentle kisses in his shaft and tip. “But do you deserve it?” you asked tilting your head. “I sure as hell do.” he groaned. “Mm nuh-uh,” you said.

You kissed and marked his body. Every last inch. Your hands gently stroked him, causing miles to fuck your hand from how good it felt, you went back

down, your tongue tasting every last inch of his shaft and tip.

Your mouth consumed him as your tongue explored him, you didn't know what to do but your body did. You sucked and sucked. You bobbed your head up and down going along with the rhythm, Quaritch loved that you did this.

as much as a tease he is he hates being teased. You began to deepthroat him, stroking him faster than you did before.

His moans turned into loud ones as he threw his head back gasping. “ fuck you doin’ so well y/n just f’me” he said.

He twitched in your mouth, he was gonna cum soon. you. Deepthroated him, just using your mouth and tongue.

The way you did it drove him crazy, he shoved your head down as he exploded in your throat, a little whimper following.

You released his cock from your mouth. “swallow. All of it.” he commanded, you swallowed, listening to your mate.

“Good boy. You listen well Ma Y/n.” he smiled “I should prep you..” he said turning you over, but you were already ready.

“Hah. You don't really know how you affect me Y/n,” he said slowly entering, you felt so nice and warm, he tilted his head back as he panted.

“Please. You're too big I don't think it's gonna fit-” Y/n said feeling doubts.

“Ah. So you wanna stop now?”

“No..”

“Want me to move? I promise to be gentle” He coo’d.

“Mhm. Please”

He thrusted slowly, his hips moving ever so politely, he moaned in your ear, and your back arched ever so perfectly.

His pace sped up, the thrusts going deeper as your eyes, moaned loud enough for everyone to hear you.

“Quaritch! Please I wanna see yooOu~” he flipped you over giving you a deep kiss, the kiss was passionate yet so lustful.

you moaned into the kiss as he held your hair, every kiss, every thrust, bite, and scratch on his back meant love, care, and trust you had in the future.

You sniffled, tears falling. “Im so glad I don't have to kill you Ma miles. I couldn't do it. I love you so dearly. I see you. I hear you. I am part of you.” you said.

you heard his smile. “Im glad. I see you, I love you, id set the world a flame just to get revenge for those who wronged you. I'll protect you with my life and being. I hear you, I am with and a part of you” he embraced you as he marked you up.

he developed scars from the claw marks on his back he had from you, his thrusts got sloppy and deeper as you moaned louder and louder.

You both had tears of joy as he came inside of you.

you mated for hours on end. nonstop. more loving each time.

in the morning you were laying on each other with a cover made from soft material over you.

jake had been beside you when you woke up," Don't jump, it'll yank the queue and it's gonna hurt..." he said, he cleaned your stained face. watching you as you lay back on your mate.

"mmh.. papa.. why are you here," you asked. "because my son, the head healer was screaming his mate's name, your family thought you were being married but when we saw you two... asleep together," he said

"don't finish the sentence.. at least I have a mate now.." you said

Later, your family had a celebration for you finding a mate, everyone was happy, even you. spider came up to you.

Oh, fuck I just realized.

He hugged you, and you flinched since your body still ached, you'd pat his head in a confused manner. "does this mean me and kiri are related now?" he asked.

"yes...? I don't know what she is to you but yeah." you laughed, and miles chuckled. he looked into your eyes and you gazed into his.

"If you told me you'd be my mate when I was first taking care of you... id beat you senseless," you said

He laughed at that, shaking his head. "hit me however you want sugar. ill do it 10 times harder" he said smacking your ass as you jumped.

THE END.

[lavender-at-heart]

Hey! So i saw your "Dating Legolas would include" with a human. Do you think you could do it but with an elf? Sorry if your requests are closed.

Thanks, bye bye!😊

Legolas dating a elf hc's:

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Pairing: Legolas x fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of death, heartbreak, having children lol

words: 1.5k

Notes: tysm for the request! i didnt know if you wanted fem or gn reader so i went with fem but i can make a gn!reader one too. also im so sorry i didnt get the notification for the ask so i didnt see it until very recently<3 my requests are open and id love to recieve more! also theres a part that mention kids and if your someone that doesnt want kids or doesnt like them then you can go right ahead and pretend it doesnt exist. And remember to eat , drink water and get some good rest today, you deserve it(and shannah tovah to any jewish ppl out there:])<3

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being a elf and dating Leggo boy definitely has its perks

for one : his dad might approve of you

and secondly you never have to have the mortal and immortal talk, so yay!

growing up as the daughter of lord elrond meant you knew who Legolas was since you were born(if you dont look like Elrond's family just pretend ur adopted woop :] ).

you and every eleth in middle earth fawned over him

when you were younger you day dreamed of being a princess locked in a tower, one day he'll come and rescue you and take you away from the seemingly measly life you lived

he paid visits to Rivendell quite often , enjoying the company of you and your siblings

you had grown up with him around, always willing to teach you the art of archery or how to fend off any scary looking spiders.

but after the battle of the five armies he stopped fisiting Rivendell, something about finding the Dunedain rangers.

you grew up, and you missed him yes- but you convinced yourself that he was just a family friend- no one special.

boy you were wrong because then you meet him again when the council of Elrond happens and its like a freight train of emotions hit you in the heart

elves only fall in love once- its a very serious and dramatic ordeal, and you knew this was it.

you also knew that you could possibly die of heartbreak if he didnt return your feelings.

you assumed he saw you as a little sister, or had completely forgotten about you.

but then both of you had a talk in Rivendell, the night before you planed to head off.

he explained that he had fallen in love with you, he had always loved you but when he saw you again he knew it was romantic.

but he knew that the chances of either of you dying on this journey were very real and very possible

and although it would be very hard for the both of you, you decided to stay friends until the fight was over. it would save you a lot of pain and suffer if one of you did die though

but even just being really really friendly was not helping either, you still had a very strong connection.

he'll always make sure you keep up your health when on the road

"the key to staying healthy is to drink lots of water dear one"

"surely thats not enough food for you mellon"

always covering for you when its your turn to keep watch so you can get better sleep

and that all seems like very normal friend stuff but then...

the hair braiding

he will insist to braid your hair so you dont have to waist time doing it

he'll learn how you do your style and might even try some new designs he think would look pretty on you

you dont even know what to say, because elvish hair braiding is a sacred thing, usually you only braid the hair of your significant other or family members.

but legolas can be a bit dense at times, maybe he doesnt realize hes making this harder than it needs to be

you two always end up together , walking, rowing, wherever you are you two usually stray from the fellowship to have some alone time

you often find it hard to relate to the rest of the fellowship, being so diferent from them

but Legolas was the same as you, sometimes you feel like your the same person. so connected to eachother , finding such a peacful familiarity when your with him

gandalf thinks your friendship is absolute bs and he sees right through the both of you, hes practically your matchmaker always trying to get you together.

when you reach Lothlorian your grandmother, Galadriel knocks some sense into you

she tells you that your future will be bright and full of happiness if you can just get over your stupid friend-zone rule, but she does agree that the futre is uncertain and that you would probably die if he gets killed and vice versa.

the battles are rough but you never falter, you and leggy enjoy showing off your elven strength and beauty to the humans

you get hit on about a million times in Rohan and you can see its driving the elven prince bonkers.

if Legolas is ever injured which rarely ever happens, you are there to tend to the wounds

if he is restless you'll read or sing some elvish hymns for him to fall asleep to.

there's is nothing that can dampen your spirits when the two of you are together, even without the romantic side your happy just to be near him as often as you are.

you spend you wandering days discussing elven philosophers, teaching gimli elvish or connecting to the forests together.

when the final battle comes, you are plauged with fear

you pray and pray and pray that both of you stay safe.

legolas is the best warrior in middle earth , but you were not.

not to say you werent a skilled warrior, you were better than any man, hobbit or dwarf- but you were not Legolas.

what if something were to happen and he was left alone?

well you didnt have much time to dwell on that fact because you had won the battle and both of you must imidiatley return home to your fathers.

it wasnt fair, you were finally able to be together but noooooooooooo you just had to be separated until Aragorns corination

when you got home your father knew about you and Legolas, he said he had already had a vision of of your future together and he gave you his blessing

Arwen and your brothers were very very happy for you. arwen told you about her own romantic struggles and you bonded over the fact that you had been separated by your loves.

arwen said that the four of you should get married together, while unorthodox it sounds very exiting

you spend the few months at home planing to see Legolas again, weaving a new dress to impress him, finding a new hair braiding technique, picking apart yourself and making sure your perfect for your reunion.

you and Arwen are so nervous at Aragorns corination you can barley stand.

seeing Aragorn and your sister ruinite made you almost as happy as reuniting with Legolas

you cried, you hugged, you kissed

you met his dad and that was a traumatic experience in itself

but he seemed to like you, he respected your father and therefore he must respect you. Even though he thinks Elrond is senile.

getting married in Lothlorien, surrounded by the beautiful lights and trees, married by your grandmother and officially named the princess of Eryn Lasgalen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you leave your family with sadness but your beyond exited to see the greenwood

Legolas' kingdom welcomes you as one of their own and they are thrilled about having a princess

you spend a lot of time with Legolas but you also make sure to get to know your new home and its peoples

Legolas took you on a grand tour of the palace and the woods

you were amazed by the grand architecture, thinking you could spend eternity in Eryn Lasgalen, and you would.

you read up on the history of the Greenwood, learning about their customs and traditions.

you also make sure to visit the smaller less grand part of the kingdoms, visiting schools and hospitals.

to say Legolas is proud of you is an understatement

Legolas has to go to a lot of meetings and is busy a lot of the time, he feels so bad and the apologies never stop

but no matter how long he is gone he always makes it up to you

hell take you horseback riding and pack a picnic lunch to make it up to you

his father is honestly surprised at how in love the two of you are, you have been married for decades and still act as though you are in your honeymoon phase

when the two of you have your first child, a boy named Oropher[named after legolas' grandfather], Thranduil cant help but get reminded of him and his wife[and baby leggo too ofc]

Thanduil enjoys your conversations, thinking of you as a daughter he never had, and a good friend

he also lets you in on all the embarrassing baby Legolas stories he never got to tell anyone.

you end up having 5 children in all your years, three girls and two boys

some take after you more, others Legolas

you make excellent parents, teaching them the arts, sciences and ways of battle.

Legolas spends time with his children as often as he possibly can and is an amazing father

you love your life in the greenwood, its your home

but eventually the time of the elves is over and you and your family sail for Valinor, to be together forever<3

[cookieswithay]

🕷"No...no way."🕸 Part 4

1610 Miles Morales x fem reader

•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•

• Miles dreamt about alot of things that night. His parents, you, and most importantly, what he had to do. It was weird though. He didn't see his success, but he didn't see a loss either. He was just...foreshadowing..? It was weird but it felt familiar...

• Has he done this before...?

• "Miles."

• ...Someone was shaking his shoulder. Miles, of course, pushed the hand of whoever was touching him, but they persisted. That put a frown on his face. What the h?

• "Go away."

• He grumbled. The person sighed. (Kinda like the "I'm gonna lose my patience" sigh)

• "We have to save Jeff."

• That caught his attention. He sprang up.

• "How do you know about my da-!?"

• He froze. In front of him was his undead uncle. Miles was perplexed. Until, he remembered the previous night. He's in his spider's dimension, uncle Aaron is super alive and this dimensions Miles is tipping on the scale of jerk and you've changed slightly...Crap. Realizing he just shouted at his dad's brother, he sinks back into the blanket.

• "I'm sorry."

• The young hero mumbled. Uncle Aaron chuckled in his throat. It's rare when he sees his nephew being polite. Let alone timid. But, there's still stuff to do. He can ponder the differences later.

• "It's cool, come on."

• "We got work to do."

• That caught the anomaly's attention. He let the blanket fall back on his lap.

• "Work to do?"

• Wait, wasn't the plan gonna be relayed when everyone was present? Matter of fact, it's still dark out. ...What time is it!?

• "You'll see when we get there."

• His uncle replied, while tossing him a jacket.

• "We leave in fifteen."

• Miles sat quietly in the car while the ex Prowler grabbed some things from his apartment. Once again, this felt crazy. His uncle Aaron had a purple convertible, this one has a truck.

• (Which is still purple...seriously how did he NEVER know his uncle was the prowler? They're so many signs.)

• He's also...jaded. He's not mean or anything. Just quiet and pretty short with answers...but, that's okay. Miles can tell from all his greys that life's been tough...probably a lot tougher than his life. The driver door opened, making the him jump.

• Of course, it was just uncle Aaron. He hopped in the driver's seat.

• "Ready?"

• Still frazzled, Miles nodded.

• The drive was...quiet. Well, sorta. There was music on, but zero talking. Oddly though, it was nostalgic. Reminded him those drives when his Uncle and his dad fought before Miles stayed over. (He never caught the arguments, but he always knew something was up.) Silent with the calm sound of wheels grinding against the pavement. BUT, this silence is getting pretty heavy. He's starting to feel like he's breathing too loud.

• Miles cleared his throat.

• "So, um..."

• His uncle looked over, his gaze making Miles feel super small.

• (Is this how uncle Aaron was with other people!?)

• "What's up with the prowler thing? With...Miles and all that jazz?"

• The truck was filled with heavy silence again.

• "Ask a different question."

• Uncle Aaron replied, flatly. 1610 Miles swallowed hard. Okay...that was a touchy subject.

• "Sooo, the truck,"

• "It's purple and black. Where'd...you get it painted?"

• The uncle chuckled. So, the boy chooses the car instead? Must've stood out to 'im.

• "A friend of mine did it."

• "I had to pay her still but it was half off so..."

• Miles nodded. That's...kinda interesting. More questions could be asked but...nah. His heart resides on paper, not wheels.

• "You draw?"

• The teen twitched at the question.

• "Huh?"

• "Do you like to draw? Like my Miles."

• Uncle Aaron asked again, this time using a fuller sentence. Miles couldn't stop the smile forming on his face. Finally, a subject he can get behind!

• "Yeah, alot."

• He replied.

• "I use highlighters and pens normally, but recently I've been trying to go digi-tal."

• Miles snickered. (He's kinda lying about the digital thing, Ganke only let's him use his tablet twice a week.)

• His (kinda) uncle listened quietly as his (kinda) nephew ramble on about his hobby. It's lowkey adorable. His Miles does the same thing. Except, his nephew is strictly pencils and black pens. Like one of those...manga artists? Slowly, the truck came to a stop. Miles looked through the window.

• This looks like...

• "Alchemex?"

• He said outloud.

• "You got it."

• Uncle Aaron replied getting out of the car. The Spiderman couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. Alchemex...has alot of memories he rather forget about. Suddenly, another glitch hit. The burning and atom decaying lasted only a few minutes, but it felt like a hour. He took a deep breath and climbed out of the truck. Uncle Aaron was waiting at the entrance, analyzing him as usual.

• "Sorry, I, um...hit the roof."

• Miles nervously snickered. Yeah right. He hasn't felt any roofs or balls since he got this hairstyle. And he's been rocking it since he was 10. His hair absorbs ALL impacts. His kinda uncle didn't reply and pushed open the doors. The teen immediately pulled out a flashlight. The sun is coming up, but it's not showing in Alchemex!

• "Don't fall behind."

• "Okay."

• The two of them slowly ventured through the building. It looked abandoned and destroyed. Like, some beast escaped in here. Wait- There wasn't a Peppy playtime incident here, was it!?

• (Get the reference?)

• But, now that he looks at all the spray paint...it's just abandoned. And the destruction...is still unknown, but he's sure as hell it wasn't a fuzzy, blue monster with red lips.

• "So...Alchemex. Why?"

• Pfft! Why'd he ask the question like that? His past uncle remained silent until they got into what looks like the collider room.

• (Seriously, who destroyed the place?)

• "Back when I still prowled,"

• His uncle (randomly) said.

• "I picked up a little on how this thing works."

• "Maybe the collider can send you back."

• Miles gasped. That was a perfect idea! The collider can bring and return people to different dimensions! Why didn't he think about this earlier!? But...what's his dimension?

• "This could work, but,"

• He looked at all the broken computers and desks.

• "How would we get any data to the collider?"

• For the first time, Uncle Aaron smiled at him.

• "I'll leave that to you two."

• 'You two'. Who's the other person?

• "Anyway, we came here to get the layer of the land."

• The ex prowler said, back to business.

• "What tools we need. If the colliders still working. And how to send you home in one piece."

• Miles snickered.

• "I know we need some new computers."

• Uncle Aaron shook his head and put his foot on the rail.

• "Don't all the kids have computers these days?"

• He wasn't wrong there. Ganke has dang near three. His uncle's eyes were on him again.

• "You got your little suit on, right?"

• Miles nodded. After everything that happened, he wouldn't feel safe without it!

• "Good,"

• He tied a black rope around his leg and shot a gun attached to it.

• (Uncle Aaron's doing this, btw)

• "Let's scope the joint."

• And he jumped off, swinging around the white room. It's...actually pretty cool to see his uncle in action, when he's not trying to claw his throat out. And even though this isn't his universe or his true uncle. Swinging around with him is a dream come true.

•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•

I'm proud and surprised I'm still doing this series. I'm usually terrible at consistency, but this series has a hold on me🤣 I have an announcement on the 31st, so I hope to see everyone there!

•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•

•°○°•●•°(Pt1, Pt2, Pt2 1/2, Pt3)°•●•°○°•

[preciadosbass]

12/8/24 [draft from yesterday — monday. key & significant photos at end]

woke up at a reasonable time due to my sister waking me up. i went out to see boris and stayed out with him for quite a long time. however i came inside every now and then to watch my sister play fnaf security breach. she got somewhere near up to the point where you get a fazz blaster and are then able to stun animatronics. i was feeling sick because my eyes were strained and my neck/back felt weird so i had a nap at 1. i woke up at 3:30, scrolled on mcrblr/a mcr community and then continued watching my sister game at 4.

i don’t mind watching her play games that i’m into. its a shame i’m so painfully bad at actually playing them, though, because otherwise i’d do that instead. id love to play fnaf4, or the evil within, or something. i once again stopped watching her [6] to look through pinterest. it seemed as if she wanted to game with her new friend anyways. i scrolled through a few photography related posts and saved a few more diy ideas. somewhere around this time, my mum and her friends came back from afternoon lunch. i only got prompted to get dressed into actual clothes once i heard them come through the door. my sister started briefly speaking to me.

i went out of my room for a few minutes before they came into the living room, and when i came back i found her dressed in my clothes, trying to put on my silver studded belt. i helped her put it on, then she left and got into my dark green cargos [im gunna be wearing these so much because of the heat, i despise summer], my sleeping with sirens ‘feel’ shirt, and various band bracelets and studded/spiked cuffs. i saved some baking inspo and eventually came out into the living room and greeted them.

they brought up how i used to write novels [anyone i haven’t seen in ages does] and i told them about my new thing, journaling. i usually see two of the three women that came over, but one of them brought her twin. she was really, really friendly. they’re all quite loud together but i dont think i minded seeing them. one of them apparently asked my mum if i’m emo which is funny to me, although i take it as a compliment — at least i’m easily identifiable. they started asking if i made the bracelets i was wearing, the answer being no for the most part, so my mum told me to show them the kandi i’ve made. i showed them my most recent 3D cuffs and they spoke about it for a long time. while them and my parents spoke, i got 8x a ruler length of elastic ready for my can tab bracelet.

they left at 7 and i waved them off while outside on the driveway with boris. i didn’t get the chance to make the can tab bracelet afterwards like i’d originally thought, as my parents recommended all of us [me, them and my sister] to on a walk. i obviously agreed but my sister didn’t want to go and got really stubborn and had an argument with my parents because she didn’t want to go; or be home alone, but my parents and i persisted and told her we want to keep/be healthy. she eventually gave in, not willingly, and we went to the ‘london’ field almost opposite our house. i had a blackberry from the bushes and picked a few for my sister. they were ridiculously sour, i couldn’t keep it in my mouth.

once we’d walked down to the bottom of the field and then a quarter way back up, my dad started getting attacked by flying ants. at one point, there was at least 25 swarming his neck. we all found it really funny because he was the only one being targeted. they finally went away after a lot of my sister’s professional shirt pulling skills and once we’d gotten back to the top of the field. i was literally gasping for air again because the grass still makes you feel like your walking through snow. we got home at 9 and i cuddled boris. my mum came out to throw some food out for the foxes and i had the chance to show her the decently big spiders swarming the wooden sleepers outside.

she came back in and i got myself some low cal crackers before sitting back next to boris. i had my phone flashlight on my food incase any bugs snacked on it but i ended up attracting three spiders over. they circled around my feet and i decided to go back inside as i’d finished my crackers, it was cold, and i didn’t feel great about not really knowing if the spiders were on me or not. [very low quality photo of spider at end]. don’t get me wrong, i love spiders. i’m just not keen when they come out of nowhere/big ones crawl all over me without it being on purpose. i went back onto mcrblr and screenshotted photos from my concert videos for my previous, previous, previous journal.

i went up to my parents room to chat for a short while and ask questions about boris. while up there, i searched for the group concert photo the black charade took at the concert. i found it and showed my parents the picture of me and my dad in the crowd. [photos at end, we’re the ones with blacked out faces and arrows pointing at us.] also while we were speaking, my dad told me a story about my late cat going right onto the top of our roof while i was at school, and that id seen damon albarn. which is kinda crazy. i said goodnight to boris at an unknown time and my stomach started cramping like crazy because id forgotten my meds so i tried to be quite quick. i finished at went to sleep at 3 after boris visited me in my room.

🗝️ — boris/my cat

have a good day/night O_o

[wilcze-kudly]

Thank you @nova-leaf for this tag too 🥰

wow i get to talk about myself so much im nervous

•How many tumblr accounts have you had before this one?

This is gonna be my fith tumblr account lol. I lose track of them really easily because I'm a silly funky guy with so much wrong with me.

• How long have you been in fandom?

Oh like. Since I was 10? God I remember my firat forays into fandom culture on amino it was an experience good god. My first fandom was Tolkien. I've only recently gotten into the Avatar fandom though. Still not sure how that happened but I'm having fun 🥰

•Your favorite trope in fiction?

I adore found family, cause I'm basic lol. The power of friendship is also a cheesy beloved of mine.

•Your favorite random fact?

Tolkien had beef with the Beatles. Hayao Miyazaki hates the Beatles. Junji Ito loves the Beatles.

•Your favourite game or kind of game?

Skyrim is my favourite game. Open world RPGs are my escape. I love them so much I try not to play them too often or I'll never get up lol.

•A place you’d like to visit? (If carbon emissions, logistics and money weren’t in question)

Hm. This is a tough one. I like to travel and I want to go to many places. But if I had to pick one point off that list, it would pribably be mount Shasta. I'm just curious, I guess, with all the legends and disappearances and odd happenings around it. Like I just wanna see the place not even have anything supernatural happen. Just be there for a bit? Call it morbid curiosity. Also the area seems beautiful even of itself like even if the aliens don't get me i think it'd be a nice hike.

•An animal you’re irrationally afraid of?

Ants. I like most bugs. I like spiders. But ants? Ants give me straight up panic attacks? I don't know why. There's just something very terrifying aout them.

Also. Swans. But that's not an irrational fear. Geese and swans are in my opinion the true successors of dinosaurs. If you haven't been a girl scout cowering in a flimsy tent with your three other girl scout friends, in the middle of a thunderstorm, while a pair of feral swans is trying to peck their way into your tent you do not know true fear.

Their pecks hurt like a bitch too. Their beaks are serrated like a fucking saw.

•What’s your favourite season?

Autumn. In Poland we divide Autumn into two mini seasons. Golden Autumn, which is early autumn, when the freshly fallen leaves are all crispy and beautiful. And then we have Rainy Autumn, which is when it has rained and gotten much colder. I love both.

•A smell that brings you nice memories?

Tea. I started drinking tea when I was very young. My dad is an Englishman and the moment i stopped drinking breastmilk i was immediately given tea with milk.

I think I associate tea very strongly with my family and feeling loved by them. When I was younger, my parents would often wake up before me, so they would often make me tea and wake me up with it.

Making tea for someone is still a huge gesture of affection to me and there's nothing quite like the smell of a nice hot cup of tea.

(If you’re ok talking about food. If not, delete this part)

•What’s your favorite food from where you were born? And what’s your favorite food from some place else?

My favourite food from Poland, huh? I love a lot of Polish foods, but I if I had to pick something it'd probably be krówki [which translates to 'little cows']. They're fudgelike candies, similair to Scottish Tablets and White Rabbit Creamy Candy. They're delicious.

For food from a different country? @nova-leaf has put the idea of Shortbread into my head now so that's all ill be thinking about I have to see if I have the stuff to make some at home or I'll go insane.

•What’s your favorite drink (if you drink alcohol, alcoholic and non-alcoholic)?

Alcoholic: Salty Caramel flavoured Krupnik. It is very difficult to explain what a Krupnik is? Its kind of like a liqueur.

Non Alcoholic: Orange Juice. It used to be diet coke but my addiction got so bad i had to quit cold turkey lest I completely wreck my health.

•Do you give your pets random table scraps?

Not random table scraps, but if I have any extra of whatever I'm cooking, and if they can eat it, I'll sometimes give them some as a snack or as an incentive while training them.

Thanks for the tag honey!

Tagging: @linnorabeifong @thatoneguy56fanfic @novaae @thenamescaba

[wormbloggign]

taylor stop lifting techniques and tactics from others challenge (impossible)

yeah.. you're a cloud of various insects, people arent looking to get in your way

taylor its not innate cmon you need to notice the swarm covering you isnt a comforting prescence for anyone but you

(also, if someone fights grue and wins, his darkness would dissipate. if they fight skitter and win, they have to deal with the many insects who are VERY pissed, and VERY unpredictable. it's simply a more extreme implicit threat than what grue has)

is she.. emulating coils convo tactics?

(TAYLOR STOP LIFTING OTHERS TECHNIQUES AND TACTICS CHALLENGE (IMPOSSIBLE))

to taylor the bugs are just her little guys, doing their best with what they got

to everyone else the bugs are spiders, flies, and wasps; vectors for poison, infection, and pain all organised by their thousands under a single cunning mind

its a very funny bit of dramatic irony (not the right term)

honestly surprised it took her this long to tell that to the PRT, taylors favourite pasttime is outing bad actors in their system

the funniest way to get immediately excecuted, ballsy move taylor

notably in those records she was telling the truth consistently, miss military seems to buy a little too much into armsmustards narratives

BY SUPPLYING RELEVANT CONTEXT TO THE SITUATION, DO YOU THINK STARVING PEOPLE WHO STEAL BREAD DESERVE JAILTIME FOR THEFT?????

(miss minutia seems very dogmatic in her beliefs of justice and criminality, kinda cringe ngl)

skitter im sorry to say but im pretty sure theyve known for a while now

they havent gone after your civillian identity yet because you havent really been findable as taylor herbert and in the rare cases you've gone out as taylor, they've had much bigger fish to fry

oh

that mustve taken a lot miss militia, i can respect that

2 ways to take this, either tattletales doing some mind games with how skitter is perceived or she wanted to get a better look at taylors butt

knowing lisa, probably both

oh yeah that too maybe

the bug pass over she does on people is very funny bc people almost definitely read it as a weapons check or an intimidation tactic but no, she just wants to know what the person she's talking to looks like

her face and eyes were covered in blood no wonder were more tense than normal "ooh why are people so unnerved around me" you look like a monster from a horror movie, you're walking around like you dont even need sight to know everything around you (she couldnt see regardless but they didnt know that)

oh theres no way they don't know her identity now

it takes one person with probably low to medium security access to hear that and go "gee, let me run a check to see if anyone with Skitters brown hair and skin colour (they wouldve seen at least that on the skitter clones, even outside how disfigured they were) matches with anyone who is blind or has been recently blinded" and then bam you find taylor with her school's recorded connection with Sophia/Shadow Stalker, her locker incident (possibly a trigger event?) her absences from school which start a couple days after skitters first appearance, line up with skitters activity AND escalate to 0% attendance once Skitter starts doing things like participating in the Endbringer event and soon after claims territory (a full time occupation seemingly), if you keep digging it seems she has moved out of her dad's house around the same time to an undisclosed house on the edge of town (no actual address given, possibly a misdirection), her father and all of his work friends survived (with minimal injuries) the Shatterbird announcement at the begining of the Slaughterhouse 9's occupation and they stayed alive for its entirety, And as a cherry on top, Taylors last 2 documented interactions with the public is Asssaulting a minor which was handled and doccumented by Shadow Stalker and COILS BOMBING where she was one of the survivors but was BLINDED, shortly after MYSTERIOUSLY DISSAPEARED with no release or transfer papers signed (or if they were, it'd be signed by Lisa W or an unknown third party)

OR

they could just ask dragon

...

that was kind of long sorry

back to the livebloggign!

(insert funny masking joke here)

sometimes i wonder if taylor has a death wish (hint: yes)

i sincerely doubt that. our girls tolerance for abuse is ridiculously high by now

the writer is fucking with me. the day we get a proper breakdown of anyones costume is the day hell freezes over

are we just gonna pretend that isnt deeply disturbing and violating?

eh, alright

taylor may know the kind of thing he saw but its very clear from how he's behaving, whatever he experienced has a lot harsher of a grasp on his psyche, probably because his trigger event and the context around it happened at such a vulnerable and young age

anyway hows that search for a villains therapist going? i really think they should invest in one

TATTLETALE YOURE GOING TO GET THE SECRET ASSASSIN SQUAD AFTER YOU PLEASE

lisa either never fucks around or never stops fucking around and i cant tell anymore

[lumiereandcogsworth]

smoshblr tag game yippeee!!!

“tagged” by @unknownteapot hehe!!

also i have to put this under the cut because uhhh too long 🫣

1. how long have you been watching smosh? WELL i do have very fond memories of watching the boys with my brother back in maybe 2011? 2012? maybe later idk. i specifically remember the pokémon vids, man-spider, the paranormal easy bake oven, and this one where the entire time you thought that he (i cannot remember who. i think anthony) got his dick stuck in a port-o-potty’s door, and he’s like stuck there for days, and the whole time you think it’s his dick that’s stuck, only for it to be revealed at the end that it was the burger that he brought in with him. THAT got stuck in the door 😭 idk why that one lives in my head so prominently, but it’s so stupid LMAO. anyway… then i started watching pewdiepie and eventually got more into shows on netflix (superwholock nation😐✊) than youtube. THEN in like 2019, my brother rediscovered smosh by way of try not to laugh. and showed them to me. and for a couple years that’s ALL i watched. like legitimately just checked smosh (pit) once every two weeks and watched it, then carried on. i loved it and them but i still didn’t have the desire to check out any other stuff lmao. and THENNNNN at the beginning of 2023, i just very randomly decided, in my boredom and unemployment, to check out their other stuff. and boyyyyy did i get hooked. and i’ve been watching everything ever since. so, very long-winded way of saying i’ve known about them for over ten years, but i’ve been DEDICATED to watching ALL of them for about a year and a half :)

2. favorite smosh cast member(s)? shayne’s been my fave since 2019, and since 2023 amanda has very prominently become second fave, if not tied with shayne. i also love courtney and spencer and tommy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TREVOR AH

3. favorite pairing(s)? well in terms of actual ships i’m sooooooo so happy for shayne & courtney and they’re SO cute :”) in terms of just like, any duos? shayne & amanda (of course), spencer & courtney, amanda & angela, tommy & spencer, and chanse & damien — they have a very underrated dynamic, like when they’re in videos together they’re so wildly in sync. they seem unlikely but i think damien brings out the nerd in chanse the best lol. also i love so many duos gosh!!!!!!! they’re all such good pals with each other it’s rare to NOT have a good duo. ian being arasha’s “dad” is always a fun bit lmao.

4. favorite reoccurring character? im a chosen girlie for sure 🥹 love that freak.

5. favorite smosh video? oh my goshhh that’s so hard. i love to rewatch shayne & courtney’s tntl trivial pursuit. i love lots of the don’t win mario partys. love when they play werewolf (and blood on the clock tower.) and OF COURSE, love so so so many try not to laughs 🥰🫶

6. first video that got you into smosh? i wish i remembered the first “other” vid i watched last year, but i do not 😔 i also wish i remembered the first tntl my brother showed me, but alas i do not 😔 i can’t even say i remember which early smosh vid he showed me first all those years ago, but i’m going to guess it was one of the pokemon ones. so that’s gonna have to suffice as my answer lmao

7. favorite picture of the cast? i don’t know if i have a favorite favorite but this recent one from the live is very cute and silly <3

8. favorite picture of your fave? i mean really anything this dumbass posts. why is he like this

9. what smosh series do you want to see more of? gosh i’d loooove if they brought let’s do this! back!!! AND IDIOTS PRESENT!!!!!

10. dream guest on smosh mouth? oh my gosh uhhh… i literally don’t know. maybe vanessa lachey just to see amanda resisting the urge to commit murder for a full hour.

tagging: @japhan2024 @hoohoobeanie + anyone else can say i tagged them bc i’m not confident who of my followers are here for smosh adjskdj 💛

[thewanderingmask]

oh hey is it time to go watch old media until the writer's strike is over

welp here's my list, i highly recommend adding onto it or making your own

sit-coms

Better Off Ted (office comedy about a pretty decent guy who manages the R&D department of your standard big capitalist (evil) company. absurd, sincere, and blessedly not nihilistic.)

Golden Girls (four older women living together. openly touched upon topics like gay people are human beings actually and so are people without houses. and this was in the 80s.)

Murphy Brown (Reporter/news presenter workplace comedy. i like eldin)

WKRP (set in a radio station, this one is a pain to find unedited anywhere because of music licensing nonsense)

Designing Women (i haven't actually watched much of this yet but i heard it's pretty good so i'm listing it here in hopes i'll remember to check it out)

british panel / comedy shows (ok so they're like game shows, except the prizes range from useless to nonexistent, all the contestants are comedians, and nobody really cares that much who wins. ,fair warning though, these are british. so you're just gonna get a certain amount of jokes that are like "yup an old cishet white dude sure did write that")

Would I Lie to You (contestants make ridiculous claims and the opposing team has to guess if it's real or not)

8 out of 10 Cats does Countdown (not "8 out of 10 Cats". not "Countdown". specifically "8 out of 10 cats does countdown". yes this is important)

Taskmaster (five contestants perform a series of increasingly silly tasks to try to score points)

Big Fat Quiz of the Year / Decade (a series of long quiz specials where comedians often fail, intentionally or otherwise, to answer questions)

crime/detective/spy shows (cw copaganda. bc that's the entire genre)

Columbo (did you know it's ALL on the internet archive? for FREE?)

Simon and Simon (private investigators who are also brothers, a bit more on the fun side. pretty good for the 80s, but be warned you're still gonna get some dopey tropes like ableism in certain episodes.)

Rockford Files (ex-convict PI. doesn't like guns, friends with his dad. cynical but can't help helping people most of the time. we love to see it. like the two above, it's older but it holds up)

Brooklyn 99 (much like columbo, everybody already knows this one)

Burn Notice (recent ex-spy stuck in miami tries to get his job back. an unfortunate amount of ogle-y filler shots. I liked the first 4 seasons and low key recommend stopping after it, but everybody's mileage varies.)

and finally, because i know who i a:

cartoons

Motorcity (what if the only answer to an oppressive conformist society was UNDERGROUND TEENS WITH CARS and it looked AMAZING and it was KILLED AFTER 20 EPISODES BECAUSE THERE IS NO GOD)

Storm Hawks (what if the only answer to a returning evil empire was SKY TEENS WITH AIRPLANE MOTORCYCLES, side note this is like the only time i've ever seen stylized 3D animation in a way that just looks? good?? i would love to see more stuff try this kind of direction instead of aiming for anime or realism)

Generator Rex (a teen with TRANSFORMING MUTANT MACHINE POWERS fights alongside a kinda sus organization to try to save others who have transformed into dangerous mutants. i haven't finished this one and im not a fan of the monkey character but dam this show kinda slaps)

Teen Titans (TEEN SUPERHEROES. i have a soft spot for this show. it was my first superhero show as a kid and still mostly holds up as good fun)

Spectacular Spider-Man (spider-man has a lotta cartoons by now but this is up there near the top i feel)

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (it's PRETTY it's CUTE it's FUNNY and only has a few episodes i would outright skip. i stopped enjoying it by the last couple seasons but i still think it's worth a watch if you haven't yet)

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD WATCH THIS SHOW DEAR GODS IT LOOKS INCREDIBLE IT'S SO MUCH FUN AND I LOVE MY IDIOT SONS SO MUCH AND THEN IT PUNCHES YOU RIGHT IN THE EMOTIONS WHEN YOU AREN'T EXPECTING IT-)

and Bluey. watch Bluey.

AIGHT THAT'S IT FOR NOW honestly i could add more to this but my memory ain't that good

✨enjoy✨