#im better now but that doesn't mean i can't enjoy some good shit. im not touching fifth gen though

[wretchie]

i wouldn't call myself a kpop fan anymore but monsta x trespass still fucks severely

[ln444]

my english love affair

cw: MDNI+18, f!reader, strangers to lovers, soulmates au, fluff, smut, maybe slight angst? depends on how you see it lol, fingering (f), penetration, soft dirty talk, a lot (like a lot) of kissing and sharing long gazes, whipped lando again bc im obsessed sorry.

now playing: english love affair by 5sos, let me by zayn.

notes: omg this took so long 😭 i'm not really confident abt my smut, i feel like i'm writing fluff way better but i hope you like it!! i might write a part 2, let me know if you like this one! enjoy🤍

requested by anon | requests open!

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“when the lights go out, she's all i ever think, i can't forget my english love affair, today i'm seven thousand miles away”

the thought of finally going back to his f1 driver life fills lando with excitement. sure, lando loves england — it's his home, after all. but nothing can compare to the rush he feels when he's in an f1 car, traveling all around the world and meeting his fans.

for his last night town, lando's friends convinced him to hit the club. normally, he prefers staying in to rest before the start of the season but a little fun doesn't hurts, right? he won't have much time to do it during the grand prix.

despite his fame, lando still gets surprised when someone recognizes him, especially at the club. he knows he's known for his looks, and he's aware of the attention from admirers, but it still catches him off guard in real life. sometimes, the attention can be overwhelming, especially when he just wants to have a good time with his friends and ends up with some overly clingy girls.

lando decides to excuse himself, seeking some fresh air. the pressure of the coming season is getting to him, and the situation doesn't help. he finds a quiet spot with a few people smoking and making out, leans against the wall, and closes his eyes for a moment, letting out a relieved sigh.

suddenly, a voice startles him from his thoughts, "did your friends force you to come here too?" his head jerks towards you, and you're standing beside him, out of nowhere. he takes time to answer, surprised by your unexpected presence. after realizing that he left you without any response, he clears his throat, a bit confused, "nah, just needed some fresh air" he mumbles, a small smile forming on his lips. you chuckle slightly, and comment "not surprised, having so many girls fawning over you must be exhausting", there's a small hint of tease in your voice that makes lando's smile grows.

finally, as he turns to study your features under the soft glow of the night lights, lando finds himself entranced by your captivating beauty, the grace of your features leaving an indelible impression on him. he can't help but get lost in your eyes shining in the dim illumination, making it difficult for him to look away. it takes him a good minute to quickly look away, thanking the night for hiding his rosé cheeks.

he gazes at the sky, trying to think of something to say that doesn't sound awkward — and also trying to get his shit together. he suddenly feels the need to make a good impression. "i mean, it's not that i don't appreciate the attention, but wow, they can be quite persistent."

his hands find their way into the pockets of his jacket, and his eyes avoid meeting yours, fearing he might get lost in them again. "yeah, i know. they're my friends," you say with a small chuckle, not because he's making fun of them, but more because of the use of the term 'friends.'

lando's eyes widen, and he turns to you, 'i'm sorry, i didn't mean to-' but he stops himself, looking down, feeling too embarrassed to find the right words. you laugh softly and move closer to him, your shoulders brushing and lando can feel his body tense up due to the closeness.

"hey, it's okay. i don't really consider them my friends, anyway," you say nonchalantly and lando lets out a sigh of relief, a smile slowly spreading on his face. "wow, that's nice for them", you both laugh and lando doesn't miss the way you subtly lean into him, your shoulders finally touching. he turns his head away from you, clearing his throat once more, trying to control the warmth spreading through his body.

"hey", you suddenly call out after a minute of tranquil silence and lando dares to meet your gaze, instantly regretting when he's captivated by your radiant eyes. he finds himself unable to look away and you both share an intense, unspoken connection, as if you've known each other for years. everything feels perfectly right at this moment.

"wanna get out of here?" you finally suggest, your words barely more than a whisper, your focus entirely on lando's mesmerizing eyes. you take his hand, both fitting perfectly like two puzzle pieces and you let him drag you in the dark streets.

after a walk filled with stolen gaze and silly conversations, you found yourself on lando's couch, engrossed in his f1 souvenirs and you have never felt so much passion, feeling your heart soften every time your see that sparkles in his eyes. lando never thought that his night will end up like this. sure, he might ended up with a girl from the club like he usually do, but this time was different. he never really experienced this; having sweet and innocent conversations with a stranger from a club. the atmosphere is tranquil yet there's a subtle tension in the air.

lando couldn't help but be his flirty self, playfully teasing you from time to time. however, your responses makes him somewhat nervous — it's a new sensation to him, having a girl making him feel this way. perhaps it's the way you gazes at him with patience and attention, your lovely smile that you share generously with him or how closely you listen to his random f1 stories. lando and you end up scrolling through photos in his phone, with him recounting the stories behind each one. he couldn't help but feel his heart melt your reactions; your smiles, your laughs, and your curiosity as you ask for more details and share your own anecdotes.

a soothing silence descended, and the two of you sit beside each other, thighs and shoulders lightly touching. lando struggles to contain the fluttering feeling in his stomach when you turn to look at him. he dares to meet your gaze, trying to focus on your eyes rather than your enticing lips. lost in each other eyes, you can't tear your gazes away. a brand new emotion envelops both of you, one that's strangely familiar yet undeniably unique, as though destiny has brought you together in this very moment and lando can't help but wonder if soulmates might actually exist.

you finally speak, after what feels like an eternity, in a soft voice, "you can kiss me, lando", you whisper like it's a secret. lando stomach tighten and he don't even take the time to answer, gently placing his hand on your cheek to pull you for a shy kiss. your lips discover each other, timidly and your hands instinctively slides around his neck to pull him closer.

you can't seem to get enough of each other, savoring every moment as you explore each other's mouths. lando's hand venture on your hips, and the chill of his touch sends shivers down your spine, as you suppress a soft moan in your throat. the kiss grows more intense, both of you yearning for more. without the need for words, you share an unspoken understanding of each other's needs, as if you've been intimately connected for ages. out of breath, you both finally pull away, foreheads touching, sharing a playful gaze, giggling and blushing like teenagers experiencing their very first kiss.

after one last sweet peck on the lips, lando takes your hand and stands, guiding you towards the bedroom, careful not to stumble due to both your impatience and the lingering dizziness of that passionate kiss.

not wasting time, he gently guides you onto the bed, positioning himself on top of you. he can't resist the urge to pause and admire you, your eyes shimmering in the soft glow of the dim lights. before he gets lost in that gaze, his eyes roam to study every detail of your face, causing you to blush and squirm beneath him. your arms tighten around his neck, and you chuckle, bringing lando back to the present. "like what you see?" you whisper, stealing a smile from him as he draws closer, his lips teasingly brushing against yours. "oh, absolutely," he murmurs before capturing your lips in a kiss. this time, it feels different; electrifying.

lando's hands slips, beneath your dress, and this time a whimper escapes your lips, making lando smirk through the kiss. his hands dares to explore the skin of your thighs, creating an unusual feeling in your stomach — and making your pussy slightly throb. your fingers finds their way into his curls, gripping onto them as the kiss becomes messier; your tongues dancing together.

"just take it off already" you huff and puff, seeing lando struggling and he lets out a chuckle "damn, someone is impatient", he says, teasing you, before finally taking your dress off. his eyes travel your body, and you've never felt so vulnerable, your cheeks burning. lando let out an unwanted groan, completely loving the view and he stares a bit too long until you pull him for another kiss to put him out of his thoughts. he takes a moment to kiss you back and it's your turn to slide your hands beneath his shirt, playing with the lines of his abdomen, making him moan softly against your lips.

after a good minute of kissing and touching, you finally take off his shirt and his pants, on the way, leaving you both in your underwear. lando leaves kisses along your jawline, going down to your chest, his hand sliding in your back to unbutton your bra and the way your boobs bounce out of it makes lando groan, feeling his erection grows. your grip on his hair gets tighter as you watch him play with your nipples, flicking it and licking it and the view drives you crazy.

you moan his name softly, pulling on his hair to make him look at you and you share a long stare, full of lust, both craving for more. you pull him for a sloppy kiss, trying to show how impatient you are and lando gets the message, pulling down your panties and getting rid of his boxers.

lando's mouth leaves yours and is replaced by his fingers, stealing a whimper from you. your eyes meets his as you suck on his fingers and, if they could, his eyes would burn holes into yours. lando found himself getting more and more impatient, the way you suck on his fingers with that irresistible look making it harder for him to contain it.

pulling out his fingers out of your mouth and without leaving your eyes for a second, his two fingers found your hole, slipping gently in it and you throw instinctively your head backwards, a moan escaping your mouth. lando take a good look at you in that position before taking the opportunity to leave kisses on your exposed neck, fighting the urge to suck on it to not leave marks, not wanting to overstep your boundaries.

"feeling okay?" he whispers softly, his breath hitting your skin, making it difficult for you to fight the whimpers escaping your mouth. lando takes a minute to look at you, to make sure that you don't feel any pain or discomfort.

"mmh'yes, you can move, please oh my god" you desperately says and lando can't help but pull you for another messy kiss. his fingers start moving in you, stretching your walls and you become a moaning mess, your eyes closing and lando takes advantage of it to admire you, his moves getting faster and faster.

"are you close, princess?" he murmurs close to your lips, feeling your body trembling and hearing the way your moans gets louder. you can only shake your head; feeling the bottom of your stomach getting warmer and the nickame almost make you choke on your moans. lando slows down to make scissors movements, his thumb rubbing your clit to help you reach your climax. he can't take off his eyes of you, inspecting every aspect of your face; the way your face crunches and your mouth is slightly open to let multiple sounds out of it. he could almost come just by this sight, his own crotch getting bigger.

with a loud and long moan, you finally climax, arching your back and lando plant soft pecks on your neck, whispering sweet words to you and telling you how good you're doing. breathless, you absently stroke his hair and close your eyes for a moment trying to calm the beat of your heart but lando makes it hard; his hands traveling your body and his lips attached to the skin of your neck.

the sudden emptiness when lando pulls out his fingers make you whimper and he lift his head to meet your gaze — he lost count of how many times he got lost in your eyes tonight. your hand make its way to his cock and the sudden touch makes lando slightly startle, a groan leaving his mouth. before you start stroking it, his hand comes to stop you immediately and you look at him, confused and with a hint of worry; silently asking him if you did something wrong.

"wanna fuck you now or i might go crazy", he says, almost whimpering and you slightly laugh, pulling his face closer to yours. "someone is impatient huh", you tease, a small smirk forming on your lips and he can't help but mirror that smirk. "how can i not when you look at me like that?" he takes your bottom lip between his teeth before kissing you again, his body getting closer and his cock brushing on your pussy makes you both moan through the kiss. you take his dick, once again, in your hand to guide it through your hole this time. and slowly, he penetrates you, a long groan escaping his lips at how tight you feel around him and you break the kiss to moan loudly.

"so fucking tight, baby, just for me", he mumbles close to your lips and you can't even answer, too overwhelmed by the way he's filling you — and his dirty words. when you finally adjust, he doesn't waste any minutes and start moving. you both moan in unison, holding into each other like your life depends on it. he watches you go crazy over his cock; the way your eyes gets watery, the way you hold into the sheets — your other hand too busy pulling his hair —, the way you can't control the continuous moans, his name slipping out of your mouth from time to time and encouraging him to go deeper into you. and he does go deeper, slowing down the pace to thrust into you as deep as he can, reaching your sensitive spot.

"right here? like that, baby?" he moans, feeling you tightening around him. his voice makes it harder for you to hold your growing orgasm. your hand leaves the sheets to hold onto his shoulder, your nails crawling into his skin. lando suddenly feels the urge to look at you in the eyes — maybe because his orgasm is getting close too. his hand finds a way to your neck, his fingers wrapping around it gently "look at me, angel", he says in a husky voice that could make you come at any moment. struggling to keep your eyes open, you try your best to hold his gaze, the way he's looking at you making you insane.

his thrusts gets faster and you can't control the sounds escaping from your mouth anymore. you look away for a moment, too overwhelmed and lando's hand travels to your face, cupping it gently to keep it straight "eyes on me, love". you obey, meeting his gaze and it's all too much for you.

you don't even have to use words for lando to understand that you're getting close, the way your eyes gets watery and your body shakes is enough. with his hand going back to your throat, lando accompany you into your orgasm, enjoying the way you scream his name and you manage to hold his gaze. his own orgasm comes a few minutes after yours and he makes sure to pull out before ejaculating, his groans echoing in the room. he immediately falls besides you and you both just stay like this: his leg over yours, your hand still in his hair as you try to catch your breath. lando uses his last drops of strength to grab a tissue from the nightstand and clean his fresh cum on your stomach.

he pulls you close again, linking your legs together and letting you play with his hair. the silence is so peaceful; the warm of your bodies making you both relax immediately. a smile unconsciously forms on lando's lips at the sight of your tired face, your eyes shining in the almost dark atmosphere of the night. you look back at him, smiling back and giggling, making lando raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"what's so funny?" he says, fighting the smile growing on his lips. "i just slept with the lando norris", you tease and lando groans, hiding his face in his arm. "i knew you were a fan!" he replies playfully, playing along. you laugh in sync and lando's heart feels at peace; all the worries about the incoming season completely forgotten. your hand gently plays with his curls as you absently stare at the ceiling, an unbeatable smile on your face.

lando, on the other side, can't take his eyes off you, watching you slowly fall asleep and enjoying your fingers in his hair. and just before you completely close your eyes, you turn to him, offering him a last kiss; so tender and passionate that your hearts both might burst out of your chests. pulling out, lando watches you fall asleep, not fighting the smile on his face anymore.

he usually struggles to sleep before an important day but this time, his mind is only filled with you and this night spent by your side. and just like that, it's lando's turn to meet the sandman.

-

with a groan, lando struggles to reach and silence the blaring alarm. the morning sunlight aggressively shines through the curtain, making him shield his face with his arm, staying in half asleep state for a minute as he gradually gets out of it.

then it suddenly hits him; you're no longer beside him.

lando suddenly starts to panic, jolting him into full wakefulness. he springs out of the bed and desperately search for any signs of you in every room of his apartment but you're nowhere to be found. he mutters curses under his breath, passing a hand to his messy hair — the thought of you messing his hair last night making him even more frustrated. defeated, he returns to the bedroom, his gaze falling on the tousled sheets where everything happened. as lando realizes that he didn't even ask for your name, frustration festered within him, causing him to clench his hair.

however, amidst his self reproach, a small piece of paper on the nightstand catch his attention, and he immediately rushes to it.

"we will meet again, i promise. you're going to kill it, lovely boy. y/n, x"

lando can't even fight the smile creeping on his lips, his heart softening — it was beating way too fast just by the thought of not even knowing your name. he sinks back onto the bed, your smell immediately hitting him and making him even happier. he reads those few words repeatedly and his hands falls onto his chest, holding the paper close to his heart as he whispers your name again and again, savoring its melodious sound. lando can't help but tell himself that soulmates might exist.

"i am going to kill it,", lando murmured to himself, a foolish grin etching on his face.

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part 2?:p join the tag list here!

masterlist

[thinkingaboutjaedyn]

i'm your biggest fan [j.shaw x morgan!child!reader]

prompt: after jaedyn's great performance at the game against argentina, you become her biggest fan.

author notes: been trying to get back to writing more and finally got some inspiration. i have been wanting to write a child!reader fic forever, blame @/woso-dreamzzz because im in love with her child!reader fics so bad. this is me trying to make myself feel better after that shit ass usa vs mexico game 🤗 so enjoy! P.S. the reader is like around five in this.

you're standing on the pitch after the usa vs argentina, happily following around your soccer aunts. this game was one of the best lately. your throat was dry from all the shouting and cheering you have been doing. especially when your mother scored a banger in the nineteenth minute. of course you weren't only cheering only for your mommy, getting loud for all your soccer aunts too. like blondie lindsey and tiny rose. that doesn't mean you haven't been focusing your attention on the new girls though; they are officially your soccer cousins now since they are all too young to be aunties in your opinion.

one new girl in particular has caught your attention. the way she has been performing so strongly throughout the whole match has you obsessed with her. not that you understand soccer tactics or anything, but even a five year old knows good play when they see it. you screamed her name the loudest (right after your mommy's of course); jaedyn. not only was jaedyn the cool new girl who your mommy says is going to the next big thing for the team, but she also wears the number above your mommy's new one. you honestly hated the new number because your mommy is number thirteen, not seven but you can't seem to understand whatever rule your mom told you about because it's too much for your brain so you don't think about it. the only good thing that came out of the change is the fact your mommy's cubby is next to jaedyn's.

the moment you spot the girl in the question as you follow around lynn, who just stopped to talk to crystal about the game, you slip off to where jaedyn is which wasn't a hard task. just having to go through a few legs with some quick "hi!"s in-between.

finally you make it to where jaedyn is sipping on her water bottle. she looks so cool even when just standing around. it seems jaedyn doesn't spot you, so you just do the ol' tug them by the shorts trick and her eyes look down at you.

"oh? hey mini morgan," her smile is like the sun to you. her tone sounds so chill and cool that you try to copy her. "hi big shaw!" you say. your words coming out way less cool than hers but it was worth the effort. the american player lets out a short laugh, ruffling your hair that's in pigtails. making it a bit messy, but you don't really mind. it's jaedyn doing it so why would you?

"big shaw? i'm the only shaw around here, so shouldn't it be shaw the first?" you nod at her words already. "okay, shaw the first, can you teach me how to shoot a banger?" you ask. looking up at her with high exceptions already. the way you say your words make her laugh loudly which confuses you. why is cool girl jaedyn laughing? is it because she thinks you can't score a banger too? or maybe she's like a magician and can't reveal her secrets.

you lean more towards the magician theory, saying, "i promise i won't tell anyone about it! so you can keep your shooting superpower hidden." jaedyn just shakes her head before crouching down to your height. "you don't have to keep it a secret. i think everyone already knows," she whispers, "but yeah i'll teach you. just make sure to ask your mommy." you let a excited gasp as you whip your head around. looking for your mom across the pitch. your expert alex morgan finding eyes locate her easily. turning your head back to look at jaedyn with a smile. you hold out your pinky finger, "pinky promise?"

"pinky promise," jaedyn accepts your declaration of confirmation as she locks her pinky finger with yours. "thanks shaw the first!" you shout at her after pulling away. already running quickly to go ask your mommy to let jaedyn to teach you how to score bangers. hopefully she doesn't question why didn't you just ask her since you wouldn't want to break it your mommy that jaedyn is just cooler. your mommy is still one of the coolest though.

you almost bump into the legs of naomi on your way to your mommy, but dodge quickly with your great dodging skills. naomi even said you might be a defender in the making once. the loud voice of yours can be heard to everyone around you as you finally reach your mommy.

"can big shaw teach me how to score bangers, please!" you shout out happily. your mommy just chuckles before patting the top of your head, "of course, baby."

and that was possibly the path to you being a future forward. all thanks to big shaw.

[time-is-restored]

fellas that last ted lasso episode. hmm.

listen i'll be real no matter what im gonna be out here gushing abt trent crimm cause he's my special little guy and im obsessed with him, but considering the Literal Paragraphs ive been writing abt all the shit i LIKED about the show, i didn't know how else to process these Less Good emotions than by blurting it all out over like two hours (instead of doing the dishes, lmao).

tldr; s3e2 was such an emotional high point for me, since i really felt like it had something concrete + specific to say about physical violence + social/emotional violence, and how they're BOTH highly valued as masculine ideals. but the episodes since then...

it kind of feels like im watching the result of a long and bloody fight between different writers? writers who, apparently, wanted Very different things from this last season, so now we're getting this. bizarro world mish-mash of two hypothetical shows, where tone + content + themes vary WILDLY and inconsistently from episode to episode - and even scene to scene!

[cw: discussions of sexism + racism, in a doylist context, also s3e5 spoilers]

specifically, i feel really disappointed and hurt that they went that direction with shandy's arc. i understand that we're only half way through the season, and obviously anything could happen between now and then but... really? like, is there some kind of budgeting issue here? we can't afford for there to be more than three (complex, not sexy lamps) women in any given episode? is that why the second jack appears, barbara loses any depth (what happened to that lovely moment of connection with the snow globes????????), and THEN the second SHANDY goes off her head it's. jack time? apparently???? like. this would feel a lot better as a viewer if at this point the show hadn't PRIMED me for jack doing something insanely stupid + cruel for no reason except 'haha Keeley Bad At Her Job'.

like. the first thing we see of shandy fine is her pride in keeley, and genuine appreciation of her hard work and skill. she's CLEARLY not stupid, otherwise why would the rest of her introductory scene be her helping keeley out with filmmaking advice (the extras thing) AND random, life experience shit (knowing how to deal with goat shit)?? she knows her way around a set, and she doesn't make any of the footballers feel judged, even when she's clearly thrown by the clips they're providing her.

so why in the space of like, barely a few weeks, does ALL of that get thrown out the window? 'condoms for balls'??? why are we supposed to just take for granted that she's stupid + overly ambitious (other than the Fucking Obvious!) when the show put NO effort into actually setting that up???? like, if her first scene was her monstrously fucking UP the shoot for keeley, and keeley hired her on pure sympathy then like. sure. whatever. no room for bleeding hearts in business. but that ALSO sucks as a story line for ted lasso, a show that (according to its OWN press releases!) is supposed to be about kindness and human connection and breaking cycles!

it just. it hurts? in a way where its like, i don't believe even a little bit that this was what the writers were aiming for with those scenes, and it frightens me that there could be such a wide gulf between intent and result. especially when bonding about The Shandy Incident is what got keeley and jack together (which i am trying... So hard to feel positive about, because explicitly confirming keeley's bisexuality is amazing, least of all bc it makes her jokes with rebecca feel a lot less mean-spirited on the writers' parts, retroactively)... like how am i supposed to be enjoying their moments together when i feel like the show's whole premise has been betrayed???

and really? the one moment nate gets to feel good in this WHOLE season, it's bc the server at the restaurant who previously could not care if he dropped dead right in front of him showed him some affection + validation?????

like, sure, i GUESS im happy that this random excuse for an arc has lead to a slightly more sympathetic female character existing at least in the PERIPHERY of the show's main storyline, except no im fucking not? i don't care about this fucking restaurant, and even though ive been DESPERATELY trying not to hate jade (even though the writers themselves can't seem to decide if she's Literally Racist or just a depressed service worker) NATE shouldn't care about jade! the ONLY way i can see this being an actually interesting arc for nathan is if its another exploration of his inability to leave behind the things + people that have hurt him, combined with years of conditioning where he's never allowed to express being annoyed/upset at anyone (which richmond!!! contributed to!!!!!! 'if you're mad, count to ten. if that doesn't work, count again'??? cool speedrun tips for resentment ted!). like, an arc where we see that distance away from richmond hasn't helped nate as much as it's removed some of the worst triggers, so a taste of athens ends up in the same awful pit of resentment + loathing as ted did. which nate clearly hates! he doesn't LIKE being that person! he apologised to a PAINTED DOLL of ted!!!! but when he doesn't have the framework or tools or SUPPORT to do anything else...

like. where is his team? obviously im not expecting the show to start being about a bunch of football players that AREN'T from richmond but? even just a small moment of appreciation? or hell! maybe they hate him! if we could see LITERALLY ANYTHING abt the sport which nathan has dedicated his life to, and how his Actual Coaching style is positively or negatively impacted by the lessons he learned at richmond? this is a show ABOUT football!!!!!

i just. a taste of athens? again? a-fucking-gain?????

and honestly, the worst part is that i REALLY liked the little monologue that nate got to give about how important the restaurant was to him! as much as it showed that nate is still just as passionate + earnestly defensive of the things he loves, it ALSO shows that he 1. spends that energy explaining his passion to people who don't deserve it/won't care, and 2. gets attached to things that really fucking hurt him! and like. i am on my hands and KNEES for that to be the 'point' of this arc but at this point i feel like that's me being naive! but if fucking JADE from fucking ATHENS is the civilising white gf who FINALLY talks nate down from him ~ ignorant, vengeful crusade ~ against the absolute ~ matyrs ~ of goodness at afc richmond, i just. like. what are we even DOING here gang?

i don't know. it hurts that sam's gone from being an almost principal character in s2 to only getting passing lines in s3. it hurts that rebecca's off in her own world, talking to strangers, having life-changing revelations on her own, surrounded by sets we're never going to see again, where every scene she DOES get to spend w one of the richmond members feels hasty and rushed, like the episode wants to get a few characters obligatory appearances out of the way asap. it hurts that all the chekov's guns around zava's arc (jamie's resentment, ted's lack of guidance, dani being 'demoted' + colin being benched) were apparently all just blanks, to be hastily plastered over with one big long speech about... ted wanting everyone to have higher self esteem, or something?

and listen, more the fool me if another episode comes out next week that i completely adore, and i spend like five days singing its praises. im mostly writing this so i can go INTO the next ep without feeling resentful + upset! i'll be STOKED if i was wrong and all of those little details ARE actually important, and these arcs have more to them than this! but for now im just sad and annoyed :(

[grapecaseschoices]

But I'm glad you're having such a fine time, who is your tav going for?

I do have some problems with the game, but overall it's fun to play. Probably wyll or laezel. Initially I was gonna go for shadowheart bcs I really liked her character design and my tav also hs that similar kind of dry sarcastic sense of humour. But after having her for a while in my party, she got on my nerves real quick. I tried out some races and she almost always had something to say about it. Im not thst far into it and I like astarion but the fact that he can leave ur party if ur character kicks him in the nuts sent me and now I can't take him seriously. I think my tav enjoys messing around with him. I just keep throwing spells at him and reviving him and he hasn't left yet so he's a trooper. 😂

I was playing as a tiefling originally but they kept having stuff to say about them being a tiefling and it got kinda annoying so I changed it to something else. /lh 💀

Playing as a Sorcerer is so much fun I can just make shit explode. Idk how to use astarion though, I just make him throw arrows and hide, he doesn't really do much in fights, but he's funny so I keep him around. I might get rid of shadowheart, but she's also a cleric and provides good heals so idk. She's so fine but she's really got a poll stuck up her ass so idk. Some of the remarks she makes about certain races and some of her actions towards a certain character because they are that race (don't wanna spoil it) just kind of put me off especially with her being white. I'm aware it's fantasy and stuff and I haven't finished the story, but anyways we'll see, maybe she'll get better. 😅

Wyll is my fave so far, he's super underrated!! I do wish there were more romance options of color though. I think so far I've only met one which is Wyll. 😭😭

sorry for the late response! i have not been my best the past weekend!

I do have some problems with the game, but overall it's fun to play.

Me a salty, hater: Feel free to share~~

. I tried out some races and she almost always had something to say about it. Im not thst far into it and I like astarion but the fact that he can leave ur party if ur character kicks him in the nuts sent me and now I can't take him seriously.

DOES SHE?? I have done an half-orc but she hasn't said anything?? Unless I wasn't paying attention. Who does she say shit for? I know Giths for sure, and I imagine drows. Also ROFLMAO. I mean TBF TO HIM! hahaha

I was playing as a tiefling originally but they kept having stuff to say about them being a tiefling and it got kinda annoying so I changed it to something else. /lh 💀

omgoodness. the druids right? omg so like i have a druid tief and i thought it might be like double the fun bc of the grove, but whew. literally every breath like: WOW YOU DEVIL YOURE SO EDUCATED FOR A A DEVIL. WOW HAHA DEVIL. it's like dude. 1. not a devil 2. heard the joke the first three times, ain't yall tired? so far proving to be worse for my half-drow but havent made it far.

Idk how to use astarion though, I just make him throw arrows and hide, he doesn't really do much in fights, but he's funny so I keep him around. I might get rid of shadowheart, but she's also a cleric and provides good heals so idk. She's so fine but she's really got a poll stuck up her ass so idk. Some of the remarks she makes about certain races and some of her actions towards a certain character because they are that race (don't wanna spoil it) just kind of put me off especially with her being white. I'm aware it's fantasy and stuff and I haven't finished the story, but anyways we'll see, maybe she'll get better. 😅

i mean he's good for picking locks. that was actually his sole purpose for me for the longest. then is tarted respecing him/multiclasing him thus he became my lock picker AND my arrow man in certain PTs. or my arrow man/shadow man. i am sure i dont use that to the full potential bc i am such a newb but wte. so you're not alone.

lmao i mean if you get a paladin or a druid or you multiclass someone else ... but honestly i havent really dealt with her racism outside of lae'zel -- which i do admit really annoys me. lmao. i remember i had a PT where it was lae'zel that saved her but she gave all the credit to astarion and im like ....... is this a glitch or is she just that ... bad re: giths. and nah, it's still annoying. the fantasy racism.

also i feel i under use my sorcerers bc im still figuring out the meta magic stuff but i do like them. are you wild magic then? both mine [i ended up respecing my durge to multiclass paladin and sorcerer] are dragon ancestory bc everyone and the mom says its best and also bc im a sucker for that shit.

Wyll is my fave so far, he's super underrated!! I do wish there were more romance options of color though. I think so far I've only met one which is Wyll. 😭😭

He is LITERALLY the only one. I know people wnat to include Karlach bc of what Larian did with her features [some people said she was modled after Gemma Chan] but I do not, because her voice actress is white. IDC. She is white. She a white woman who got surgery. Blame Z----l, if it makes yall feel better. She got a fetish or something. But Karlach is WHITE.

But Wyll is. [You know why. But also because Larian gives him so little but ... YOU KNOW WHY.]

It is one of my many issues with the game.

[agwic]

my opinions on post-canon homestuck

i see so many opinions on this mess. always. but especially now that it's back. and most of these opinions are bad. so here i am, to grace the world with my objectively correct take, which is that post-canon homestuck is bad exclusively because it does not include best spidertroll aranea serket.

PART 1: OVERALL OPINIONS

ok more seriously(but no less pretentiously and arrogantly, this is homestuck after all) i did in fact enjoy reading the epilogues and hs^2 and was sad to see it go. im unsure if i thought it was good, but i would rather it exist than not exist, and if that doesn't mean it was good, what does? I do think this new team will probably do a better job though. that doesn't mean im glad the old team got harassed off the project, obviously. ugh i dont know what crowd im pandering to with this. if i start with what i disliked about post-canon homestuck, it'll scare off the people who liked it, even though i think they're on the right side of this fandom conflict. but if i start with what i liked, it'll scare of the people who hated it, who make up a majority of the fandom, and also have quite a few good points. i guess ill just assume the crowd which was more charitable to post-canon homestuck will also be more charitable to me, and start with what i disliked.

PART 2: CANONICITY

is post-canon homestuck canon? the epilogues say that they're "outside canon" but not "non-canon". this is a shitty answer and anyone with the pattern recognition skills necessary to recognize a double negative can tell. i feel like the epilogues knew this was a shitty answer, but that doesn't mean i don't want a better answer. maybe we'll get a better answer, eventually. now, the correct answer is that post-canon homestuck is not canon, but still has a bearing on canon. because that's the only answer that doesn't cause several issues. like, if they're just fully non-canon, basically just fanfiction, then that would open up a gaping plot hole in homestuck, of "hey wait what about the masterpiece and lord english". some people think you can just ignore this fact, but i am not one of those people. on the other hand, if they're just fully canon

PART 2.5: THEY DESERVED A HAPPY ENDING

hey wasn't the intermission after act 3? do i need to rearrange this post to be a weird meta reference to the act structure of homestuck? the answer to one of those questions is yes and the other is no, but getting more into that is for another section. anyways yeah, the title kinda says it all. what was the point of homestuck if, after all that, they opened the door to the new universe, and shit just kept happening. this is also why you can't handwave that earlier plot hole with "oh they just went back to handle it at some point and died" because that doesn't sound like a happy ending to me. and if they don't get a happy ending after all that, then homestuck just becomes a neverending black hole of infinite cynicism, which i am not a fan of and would be horrible. and even if, after all of the post-canon bullshit, they get another happy ending, who's to say that happy ending won't be ruined for no good reason like their last one was? i mean other than the fact that they'll presumably be out of classpects by then. oh that's another reason this can't be wholly non-canon, we need those classpects. someone needs to explain to me what a sylph is and kanaya did a pretty shit job at it if im being honest, and im sure aranea would have had a good explanation but they fucking erased her from existence so.

PART 2.5.5: MY HEADCANONS! NO!

that's not how numbers work. but anyways, another reason declaring this as wholly canon would be shitty is that post-canon just kinda stomps over a lot of headcanons for little reason. trans girl roxy, for instance. also people who think jade doesn't have a dog dick exist and are quite loud but they're not me so they don't matter. let's talk about trans girl roxy. or not, since all there is to say on the matter is that roxy is a trans girl. i could go into why i have this headcanon but does it matter? does any of this matter? no not really. but im sure you have some headcanon which post-canon invalidates for no reason, so you can empathize with me here.

PART 3: VRISKA DID SEVERAL THINGS WRONG

alternate title: "kate mitchell did in fact have some bad takes". this could be folden into the previous sub-section but vriska's too important for that. actually fuck no, vriska isn't important at all. you know who is important? the answer is aranea in most scenarios, but in this case, the answer is tavros. when hussie glorified vriska and shat on tavros, it felt like a joke, like literally everything hussie ever did. when kate glorified vriska and shat on tavros, i got the impression she genuinely believed the shit she was spewing. now, did she deserve to be harassed for her horrible takes? obviously not, that would be something vriska would do, and thus hypocritical. especially the blatant lies, because wow i just googled "kate mitchell homestuck" and people are lying even more blatantly about her now that they were back when hs^2 was ongoing? anyways this section isn't about kate mitchell, it's about vriska, and by that i mean it's about tavros. speaking of tavros am i literally the only person on earth who projected onto tavros while reading homestuck? like i rarely get the impression that other people are actually sympathetic to tavros, they all just see him as pathetic. which makes me sad. even though he is pathetic. oh vriska also did another thing wrong, which was indirectly cause aranea to metamorphosize into a piece of sh

PART 4: THE META SHIT

despite the title for this section including the word "shit" we're now onto the good parts of post-canon homestuck. because the meta shit was genuinely entertaining to me, and also i've seen enough analysis of it to know that it's not just surface level bullshit trying to look interesting. it's been long enough since i read the epilogues that i probably couldn't contribute anything to that discussion but i have it on good authority that this is good and not just my brain activating whenever i see meta shit and/or time travel. oh also this is the section where i was supposed to talk about structuring this post based on homestuck but im not doing that

PART 5: HOMESTUCK WASN'T OVER

this kinda contradicts one of the earlier sections. but it's true. there were several plot threads left hanging by the end of homestuck proper. most notably caliborn's masterpiece, the defeat of lord english, and the four missing classpects. the meat epilogue handily dealt with those first two, and if hs^2 doesn't deal with that last one i am going to track down andrew hussie and silently hand to him a strongly worded letter while holding a butter knife. i know i already said this but it bears repeating. i need to know what a sylph is. so that i can write my 10,000 page aranea-centric fanfiction. im begging you. do you not want to see my 10,000 page aranea-centric fanfiction? do you not w

PART 6: THERE WAS SOME OTHER GOOD STUFF IN THERE TOO

putting actual trans characters in homestuck was a good idea. shame they picked the wrong one. i imagine they'll get around to making june canon eventually. i cannot state my opinions on jade's dog dick or else risk being forever barred from the homestuck fandom. some of the gamma kids are interesting. tavvy and yiffy, specifically. i wanna see where those two characters end up going. "deltritus" is a funny name. i sure hope that ripping off the main plot point from "to boldly flee" was intentional. im not sure if that last sentence was a good thing. but it was an entertaining thing. um, the more homestuck there is, the more likely aranea gets brought back? ok yeah now im grasping for straws but im sure you get the idea

PART 7: I'M STILL CALLING IT HS^2

why did they rename it. that was a very silly decision.

oh hey 7 parts that's nice. if i moved part 2 to the end it might mirror homestuck better. but im too lazy to do that. pretend that this mild oversight is actually a brilliant creative decision okay? okay.

[gmmtv-bl-tournament-but-evil]

I'm never around for the drama that unfolds bts since i don't hang around in the fandom much. so these are my (mostly) unbiased opinions lol

when i see comments saying cps don't have chemistry in dramas i end up confused because i enjoyed their drama because of how good they were romantically lmao even if the plot is weak. but honestly im not the best judge at that because if i don't vibe with the drama, i usually say it's not my type and move on. the fact that the plot could be at fault never crosses my mind until i see others opinion [looks at hidden agenda] (im sorry HA enjoyers im glad you liked it but it wasn't my type)

probably why i was able to enjoy bbs and its our skyy 2 and thought ohmnanon had strong chemistry. it was only after our skyy 2 did i know about their "break up" and that was very weird to me because they seemed pretty good friends in the bts I've seen. i wasn't a fan but i did like them a lot. And then i see comments saying they did not have chemistry in our skyy 2 which always gets me cause wdym they didn't look like they were in love

another one would be jimmysea in vice versa that some seemed to think got no chemistry either which i don't agree with because while the plot was all over the place with the constant ads, i never felt like they weren't into each other. i struggled through the drama because i wanted to see them end up together cause they were cute af. saw someone say it's probably because they don't fit the uke/seme stereotype which could be it? idk. I'm not a fan of the actors but im glad they got last twilight cause they seem to be nailing their roles in it.

unpopular opinion im guessing but i thought perthchimon had romantic chemistry in dr. i won't say it's strong like others but i watched it for them so. the theme didn't remain the same after ep 2 but a cute bl is up my alley so I wasn't that disappointed lol. though they can't kiss for shit lmao but im not the one to shame them and i hope they get better at it if they have another bl. i watched nlmg after and chopper stole the show for me. i liked both of them in it too (more than the mls but it's mainly because i couldn't stand their dynamic. phuwin character being whiney and having pond character fall for him again annoyed me because it reminds me of futs and i was against them ending up together in it lmao. i just wasn't able to get into nlmg much. genuinely no offense im glad there are others who enjoy them fr)

discourses online say all these cps were too bro-like which i get why but as a fellow gay man, this does happen irl. I've had people who were shocked at the fact that my partner and i were actually dating because we act like bros lmfao. and tmi, but who cares, im often called a twink irl. anygays these three really stood out to me because i liked them a lot in their shows so yeah i had to drop an ask since prev anons were discussing this lol

I get where you’re coming from, I'm also someone who doesn't engage in fandom very assidiously although my desire to know everything about everything means I usually know what's going on regardless whether I particularly want to or not. A lot of information seems to just randomly fall into my lap!

I partly agree with people who say that the OhmNanon chemistry was somewhat diminished in Our Skyy 2 though not so dramatically that it wasn't enjoyable.

Agreed on JimmySea and Vice Versa, I don't actively hate it but most of the reason I stayed was them. Those ads truly did some damage there. Last Twilight, though, holy shit! I would now kill and die for JimmySea. I really don't know if their distance from the usual relationship roles had anything to do with their popularity - or lack thereof -, it's really not something that had occurred to me before now, so thank you for that fresh perspective!

Yeah, Dangerous Romance wasn't excellent but I've seen much much worse and while it's true there's a lot of room for improvement ("PerthChimon can't kiss for shit" got a genuine laugh out of me), they weren't completely unsalvageable.

As for PondPhuwin, Phuwin does seem to get that type of character a lot and in terms of their dynamic, it can get old fast. I will say, though, that FUTS had me laughing irl a lot so I tend to hold a little more affection for it than I do NLMG. But that's just me.

And hell yeah for that last part! The discourse that pisses me off the most about BL is when people get upset about couples in stories not conforming to their idea of what a relationship should look like. If I'm being completely honest, I think GMMTV tends to use the same dynamic more often than other production houses which I sometimes find extremely frustrating because when something new and different comes out a lot of people get upset it doesn't align to the standard GMMTV sets by virtue of being arguably the most popular producer of BL.

[hargrovetm]

ok i have to talk about this and put into existence but i wanna talk about billy's pirate verse just because it's THAT good ! so basically im writing down like the general bits that kinda have to get hit for him in this verse. and i could more in detail, but obviously there can be multiple verses of this particular verse to fit different fandoms and what not.

his mom does run away, and leaves with neil. he endures as much as he can but then eventually runs off with the original plan of looking for his mom. i haven't set down like an age when he runs off but he is young. he is taken in by a pirate and it turns out that he is like really good at it. he can be ruthless and enjoys the carnage, not to mention the prospect of like earning riches. also the little time he spends with neil does make him learn that self discipline he carries in his main canon. which is a great combo to be a pirate. he obviously has this connection with the sea and this sorta calling to it he can't quite understand.

he rises up in the ranks until he is captain. and he's good at it. it all comes from the balance of not being too attached to people in general and also his mean girls regina george energy. he becomes a very well respected pirate, but also the stuff of scary shit. and it's such a funny thing because this is a billy that gets to spend his team near beaches and the sea most if not all the time. he's gorgeous, blonde long ass hair and his blue eyes with long lashes. like he's cute. he's pretty. and most people don't even know what captain billy hargrove even LOOKS like. they don't expect this pretty boy who can absolutely turn the tables on their ass. he never stops looking for his mom. believing she is still alive, but tells NO ONE about this to not put her into any sort of danger.

now for whatever plot reason, he also has an almost dead moment where he drowns. but the thing is he doesn't. his mom saves him because his mom is a MERMAID, and that explains how he has certain abilities enhanced. like he can swim better than most people, he can hold his breath better than most. and he has this charm. there is a time he spends with his mom sorta reuniting and there is this overlaying conflict where his mom is glad he is with her. and she doesn't want him to go back to the life of piracy since it cannot possibly end well. but on the other hand, billy doesn't think she has the right to mother him now after she abandoned him so many years ago.... so he eventually leaves, promising to visit. and captain billy hargrove does this whole ass bad ass comeback.

i also on another blog i got like cult ocs that have like a pirate verse and im wondering if i could wave some darker forces into this shit like i have for his fantasy verse basically. i might mess around and add some more stuff especially from like the half mermaid part but other than that this is it thank you for reading <3

[iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife]

Λοιπόν για το ask game θέλω να ξέρω για την Reagan. Έχω όμως περιέργεια για την Christine Daae, θέλω να ξέρω εντυπώσεις

Reagan Ridley 🧪

First impression: oh so this is one of those characters thats specifically catered to my interests huh. Cool.

Impression now: Yeah of course she is my favourite. No surprises here. I have a type.

Favorite moment: ... that moment in the final episodes where the camera zoomed into her missing finger, the deadlines on her calendar, her meds and brett immediately went from telling her how sad he would be if she left the company to pretending that he wasnt sad at all because he knows how much she is suffering here and he only wants the best for her. Even if it means never seeing her again. Also EVERYTHING about Appleton tbh. God. Also that time she kicked her dad out of her house??? Queen.

Idea for a story: haven't had any concrete story ideas about my girl reagan sadly 😔 i should get around to reading some inside job fanfics, get some inspo.

Unpopular opinion: nothing comes to mind really. I haven't interacted a lot with the inside job fandom to know their popular and unpopular opinions tbh.

Favorite relationship: god.... Bret and reagan besties 4ever. Also! I was shocked by how much i liked her relationship with ron?? I usually hate it when my fave characters get a love interest half way through a show. Like HATE IT hate it. But honestly when they first started dating i couldn't help but wonder HOW she was going to fuck it up. Like this is Reagan we are talking about, she cant be happy for more than a few episodes in a row so i was hooked waiting for their relationship to fall apart somehow and holy shit????? Their ending was literally so much better than everything i could have ever imagined??? I was sobbing my eyes out god bless.

Favorite headcanon: this woman is bi sorry i don't make the rules. But honestly i feel like i don't have a lot of headcanons about her sadly.

Christine Daae 🎵

First impression: just an average girl character from a century old book. Nothing too wild.

Impression now: oh this girlie is INSANE insane. Ive seen it. I enjoy it. Impressive case of daddy issues. Beautifully kind and determined. She wasn't even in love with the phantom my girl thought she was being visited by the angels sent by her dead father. Good for her. Honestly the phantom is WAY closer to what i usually consider My Type when it comes to fictional characters when compared to Christine. My love for her completely blindsided me, she was one of those characters i didn't expect to be my faves.

Favourite moment: "wishing you were somehow here again" for the musical and everything about her insane "talking with the weird gremlin man who lives in my walls and pretending he is an angel" era for the book. Also the cemetery scene in the book? My girl is delusional.

Idea for a story: none tbh. I haven't read this book in years im not as obsessed with her as i was back then but she still holds a special place in my heart.

Unpopular opinion: idk i never had a strong opinion on the whole phantom - christine - raoul love triangle thing and i feel like the people fighting over this are a little insane skksks. Like. I don't think she ever fully loved erik even tho she sympathized with him? Also fighting over who Christine should choose reminds me of the people who used to fight over who katniss from the hunger games would choose. Like peeta is Katniss' chance to heal while gale is still at war and raoul is the light while erik is the night!! Of course she chose raoul in the end like cmon. Now, that doesn't mean that i can't appreciate the fucked up insane relationship between a basement dwelling sewer man who kills people just because and a grief stricken woman who searches for divinity in everything that surrounds her.

Favourite relationship: probably erik and christine solely for the fucked up factor. Also her relationship with her father even tho he is dead before the book starts and we barely know anything about him. Its pretty obvious that his death affects her a lot.

Favourite headcanon: cant really think of anything tbh. Once again its been a while since i last read this book. But also i feel very strongly about this woman being a brunette for no particular reason.

[justplainwhump]

Ich habe 605 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

Das sind 152 more posts als 2021!

220 Einträge erstellt (36%)

385 Einträge gerebloggt (64%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@justplainwhump

@angst-after-dark

@ocean-blue-whump

@hackles-up

@ashintheairlikesnow

Ich habe 479 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

Nur 21% meiner Einträge hatten keine Tags

#bbu – 130 Einträge

#self reblog – 84 Einträge

#pet whump – 52 Einträge

#lady whump – 50 Einträge

#ira white – 50 Einträge

#dany – 37 Einträge

#whump – 35 Einträge

#mark and gemma – 33 Einträge

#timezone reblog – 26 Einträge

#gemma sinclair – 24 Einträge

Longest Tag: 63 characters

#also the many many glimpses at how layered this entire world is

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

Dressing Room

For the anon who asked for the prompt “poke and prod at my muse’s injuries”, and dedicated to @whumpymirages , you know why.

Referenced Ridley, Leo and B are @hackles-up s characters. Felicity works for Ridley, and it shows.

Dany isn’t in a good place.

[Dany Masterpost]

Content - lady whump (female whumper and female whumpee), noncon stripping, noncon touching (not sexual, but uhh.. getting there), bruises, references to noncon (male whumper), slut shaming and humiliating language, overall pretty heavy humiliation, mention of a shock collar, references to noncon marriage. This is somewhat darker than the warnings may make it seem. Let me know if I should add something.

"Spin", Felicity commands, her finger drawing a lazy circle in the air. There's a glass of champagne dangling from her other hand, that she takes small sips of sometimes, when she's not busy smacking her lips or talking shit. Which means, she doesn't drink too much. She is, however, certainly enjoying herself. I'm standing on a little, circular platform in the middle of a huge dressing room. There's nothing but shades of white around me, or, more correctly - diamond white, ivory, champagne, eggshell, pearl and blush, as I couldn't help but overhear, when Felicity was talking about me to the dressmakers. Diamond white makes her look sickish, it's gross. Oh, I wouldn't go with champagne, it's so conventional, we need her look to be special.

"Danielle." I hate the condescending tone my name has in her voice. "Spin, bitch. I'm doing my fucking job here, and I won't have your bitching around ruin this wedding. It's going to be perfect." 

I can't help but think about wrestling that glass from her hand, smashing it on the ground and burying the remains into her neck. She'd bleed, quickly and violently, red pooling on the light wood, perfectly contrasting the eggshell. I'm pretty sure of it.

With a sigh, Felicity puts the glass aside and reaches into her purse for the little, plastic controller. It looks hilarious in her perfectly manicured hand, next to dangling golden bracelets and expensive rings. A token of brutality, framed in elegance. "You really leave me no cho-"

"No" The tailor all but falls into her arm. "Noo! No, miss, don't shock her, please! This dress is Vera Wang, she'll tear it if she spasms, don't!"

I chuckle dryly. Yeah. Don't endanger the goods. The dress is worth more than me, after all.

Felicity exhales sharply through her nose, clearly annoyed by a little employee trying to tell her off. "Fine", she hisses. "You know what else is on the table, Danielle. I'm pretty sure Mr Lordin laid out in detail how he is going to discipline you, if you go on sabotaging this project. Discipline you, or this horrible, gross guard dog of his."

I blanche, probably matching the color of this fucking dress even better now. She's right. Ridley did go into detail. I can't. I can't risk B's life just to keep up some stubborn pride in front of a ridiculous marketing assistant like Felicity. With my jaw clenched, I spin.

"Stop", she calls. I obey, and I hear her step onto the platform behind me. She's clicking her tongue dismissively. Without further warning, her hand is on my shoulder, fingers digging into a fresh bruise. Pain bursts through me, fresh and reignited by her fingernails, dull and memorized in the shape of Leo's fine leather shoe. 

"Please," I breathe. "Please, don't."

My knees give in under her relentless grip, and the only thing hindering my fall is the tailor steadying my side while gathering the dress. "The seams", he whines. "Careful!"

"This looks horrible", she says, fastening her grip. I can't help but wince again. She doesn't care. "It's fucking black. The wedding is in mere weeks. How can you still gather such ugly bruises, you should know better, really. Especially with that pale skin color."

I can't reply, can barely breathe. Tears are welling up in my eyes.

With a final sigh, she lets go. "Take it off," she tells the tailor. "Too much back. Even if that ugly thing heals in time, can't have these other scars show either." I hold back a shivering breath, when she runs her fingers over the ends of the whip marks between my shoulder blades.

"There isn't much opportunities with a high back," the tailor hurries to say. "Out of style, but... Let me see what I can do." A second set of fingers dances over my back, as he undoes the buttons and slides down the dress, carefully aiding me to step out of it and then vanishing towards his storage.

They don't care I'm shivering in my underwear. I'm a thing, meant for a rich man's pleasure. Nothing-

Felicity's fingers are unclasping the strapless bra and I freeze. "Let's have a look at the whole package then, shall we? I gotta know what I'm working with." Her breath on the back of my neck suddenly feels hot. Menacing. I barely hear the soft lace hit the ground, when she drops the bra to the ground. "Spin," she says again. Calmly, this time.

I obey.

She didn't even step back. She's right in front of me, a lot shorter than me, but she isn't looking at my face anyway. She's looking at my body, at my breasts, my belly, my thighs, and there's a contempt smirk on her face. "What a whore," she mumbles. "And I used to be jealous of you. You really are nothing but a dumb little slut, aren't you?" 

She rests her index finger against the shock collar, the other hand idly playing with the remote. I won't give her the pleasure of using it, I swear to myself. This isn't a fight I need to win. She's nothing. She doesn't matter.

With a soft hum, she runs her finger down, following a line of dark purple hickeys, on top of a green and blue one. "Disgusting," she says conversationally. "For someone with such a foul mouth, you sure play submissive when he fucks you, don't you?" 

I shiver, when her finger prods at my breasts, follow the long finger-shaped bruises. "But that's all you're good for. I can accept that, you know. I run his business. You? You're not his fiancee. You're his fucktoy." Her eyes narrow, my only warning before she pinches and twists my nipple and doesn't let go. 

Pain floods me, fueled by humiliation. I cry out, try to back away. "Gosh. Your tits are a fucking mess. He bites you, doesn't he? Yeah, I wouldn't be into that."

My knees threaten to fail. Weakly I put my hand on her arm. "Pl-" No. My head is foggy with pain. I don't want to beg. Not her.

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

55 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 19. Januar 2022

#4

(A BBU Concept)

Radical pet lib cells, determined to show the cruelty of WRU by doing everything that happens to trainees to pet owners, documenting and filming it.

A proof, that everyone breaks under such methods, even those convinced they're so much better than pets.

Oddly enough, some people think this casts a horrible light on pet lib - but some others are convinced it's a necessary price to pay to really unveil the horrors of the pet business...

(Thanks to @whumpymirages @gottawhump @painful-pooch @whumper-in-training for making this a whole thing in my head)

66 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 23. Februar 2022

#3

Assignment

WRU Senior Handler Alan Nguyen tests the boundaries of his his new trainee.

References some of @ashintheairlikesnow s characters in the first part, and is heavily inspired by her facility whump.

[Angel's story]

Contents: BBU, noncon fingering, implied and frankly discussed noncon, romantic pet, institutionalized whump, shock collar, whumper pov.

Alan Nguyen skimmed through 002238's intake paperwork on his tablet. The file was larger than the average, classic indications for the cases of assisted walk ins. Lot more vetting necessary with these involuntary acquisitions. But also, lot more money to be made.

He raised a brow at Alex Nadler from Client Relations. "I see how she's a high security case, but I don't see how I come in. All romantic positions, no pain training, no specialty training, can't get more vanilla than that. Inability to say no, or 'quantum' - now that's a weird one, but still, give them a shock collar and even our interns could get this stuff out of her. Genital piercing. Well, Alex, I won't do that myself either. None of this matches my pay grade."

Alex cleared their throat, obviously uncomfortable. Good. Alan liked making people uncomfortable. He folded his arms and waited patiently.

"The client said he wanted only our best romantic handler on this case. According to client satisfaction, that's you, Mr Nguyen."

"That's me, but I don't do one-on-one training any longer. I oversee. I don't get in close."

Alex exhaled slowly, before they replied. "The Director says you do."

"The Director has another special friend who can do this instead of his actual job."

"You know as well as anyone that he only takes males. You're the best call for this one."

"Fine," Alan snapped and picked up the tablet. "I'm better than him anyway."

Alex granted him a thin smile and Alan replied in turn, before he added. "I want a junior handler in on this."

"There is one. Tyler Parker. He's gone over some of the basics with her already, while you were out on vacation." There was a small rebuke hidden in the emphasis on the last word that Alan chose to ignore. He was under no obligation to answer his phone on his holidays, not with how hard it was to find a timeslot just for him and his husband in Jeff's busy university schedule.

"Good. I want to meet him, before I see the pet."

*

Handler Parker was pretty much exactly as boyish as Alan had expected from someone called Tyler. Tall, broad shoulders, shaggy haircut and a stubble that definitely wouldn't have been allowed for a handler, when Alan had been his age 20 years ago.

"Handler Nguyen, Sir." Parker's back had straightened when Alan entered the observation room. Good start, at least, Alan supposed. "It's an honor, being assigned to you."

Alan nodded. "Thanks." He dropped the tablet on the desk and opened the training report. "She your first trainee?"

"Third. But first one in high security."

Alan tilted his head in acknowledgement. "You'll find out, it's the same work here, just more of it because there's less staff to help out." He pressed a button to fill the screen with the video image of the trainee in the neighboring training room. She was sitting still on her knees, hands open, oversized white tee loose around her body. Long blond hair fell around her shoulders, slightly unkempt. Her neck was a little reddened around the shock collar, yet apart from that she seemed physically unharmed, even fit.

Her brown eyes were boring into the camera, staring directly at them, from an otherwise calm face. Alan smirked. Probably alerted by the little red light turning on. He didn't particularly like the trainees to know when they were being watched. They should know they always were. But he did like what he saw in her gaze nonetheless. Determination, shrouded in obedience. When directed properly, that determination would be her undoing.

"What did you do with her so far?"

Parker's gaze flicked to the records in front of Alan and then back to his face. Alan smirked, but stayed silent.

"Um. According to the handbook, Sir. Stages 1.1 to 1.4. We went through the positions, all of them. And I... I went through some of the other basics, too. She... She took to it very eagerly. Quick to adapt."

"I take it by that you mean, you've fucked her?"

Parker nodded nervously, and Alan hid a smirk. That kid better dropped the shame about his job, or even his mind wiped trainees would be able to outsmart him.

"File says she's been sleeping around before. Any information on preferences?"

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

66 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 28. Juli 2022

#2

Searching for recommendations! ("Mundane BBU")

Hi everyone! These days, I'm very much into BBU stories that focus on the mundane sides of the universe (handlers "just doing their job", owners who aren't rich sadists but still maybe horrible, people who stumble upon pets and don't know what to do, the whole array of little things that spread around the WRU ecosystem in a world that is still so similar to ours).

Please reblog or comment, if possible with direct links to masterposts or your favourite piece of writing, so this post can double as a little collection! Your own writing, but also, I'm especially happy to see you gush about others!

Nsfw is fine for me, maybe add a note for it to warn others interacting with this!

I'm excited!

77 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 2. Mai 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Match

Handler Tyler Parker learns that he can't just leave his job behind.

A part of Angel's story.

Cw for BBU, referenced institutionalised whump, whumper (who doesn't get it) pov, very shortly and clinically referenced noncon (BBU romantic training), some oversimplified views on relationships. Guilt and shame.

Tyler's colleagues at WRU hung out together after work, too. The week before the game, he overheard them make plans for barbecue, who'd buy beer, who could make it from work and who had special assignments that kept them busy at the facility. He'd even been invited himself twice, first by Carly who mostly trained romantics for female prospectives and shared Tyler's taste in folk punk, and later by his superior handler Alan Nguyen. He'd declined both.

Tyler prided himself in having his own friends, not having been fully absorbed by the company that paid his bills. He was going to be at a sports bar with a bunch of old friends from college. He was looking forward to it, sharing old stories from a life before WRU, maybe even becoming a bit more grounded again.

At lunch, when he'd told her about his plans, Carly had looked at him with a hint of pity. Her friends dropped out when they'd found out she wasn't actually an accountant. Tyler doubted his would. Some of them had ended up in law enforcement, others in private security, he wasn't the only one with a somewhat suspicious employer. He'd told them, that he worked security in a high profile research lab. Nobody had ever asked.

He'd be fine, he told himself. His friends weren't like Carly's and he wasn't like her either.

"Oh, but you are," she'd said and patted his shoulder. "You're at facility 002. Involuntary acquisitions. Trust me. We're all sickos."

He wasn't. Tyler Parker wasn't a sicko. He was a great midfield soccer player, he still was a singer in his old band, he even took psychology classes besides his work. His job was his job, but he didn't take it home with him.

-

"Buddy, you really need to get laid," Mal said and leaned in over the sticky table to grab another chicken wing. "You're all work and no play. I mean, yeah you do your workout and show up for soccer, but when's the last time you've had some pussy?"

5.29 pm. PIV. Position 35. Trainee restrained to table. Very receptive. Denied orgasm.

"Well what about you?" Tyler shot back, taking a swig of his beer to drown the memory. "Last time I checked it was just you and your right hand."

The others snickered.

"Well, you haven't checked in a while. Going steady with Emma now. Met her on that dating app. You ever tried that?"

"Dating apps, I don't know..."

"Drop the act! You do have one," Tara chimes in. "We made you a profile, remember? Did you ever check it?"

"I do," Tyler admitted and pulled out his phone. He'd swiped through that app at work, sometimes, even had some nice chats that went into nowhere. He hadn't used it however since he worked high security, where they had to check in their private phones for their shifts. Better that way, the potential of any footage -

Work. Why did he think about work again? His friends were right, probably. He should find himself some distraction. Wouldn't hurt trying. With some taps, he opened the app and pulled up his eyebrows dramatically. "Let's take a look at the market then."

With an excited squeal, Tara squeezed in between Dave and Tyler on their side on the booth. "Show me!"

She took over his phone and he let her, all four of them looking at the small screen, and Tara swiping. Tyler felt himself relax, shoulder to shoulder with his best friends, a cool beer in front of him, the game commentary from the TV screens a soft background noise.

"Undercut?" Tara mumbled. "Nah, that's my taste, not yours, off you go. Too thin. Nope. Too pretentious. Bye. Hmm, this one?"

A short girl with an even shorter dress on a boat, intense blue eyes, blond locks flying in the wind.

All Tyler could see where blond locks fall over a white tee in a white room, his hand curled up in that hair and -

"No," he said decidedly. "Not uh. Not blonde."

"Really? Thought you liked them." With a shrug Tara swiped left. "I mean, your call, it's your sex life we're going to fix here."

She went on. No freckles, Tyler added, thinking of the freckles littering 238's smooth skin.

To their collective surprises, two or three girls turned out a match, and with Tara's aid, Tyler did send them some sincere-yet-flirty messages.

He had just stepped to the bar to order another round, when he heard Dave whistle. "Gosh, this one must be the woman of his nightmares, then."

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83 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 24. Juli 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[ruvigapo]

Another personal post today bc i feel like i just.. am better able to think when i know someone's listening.

Remember blog culture?? I'm channeling That right now 😂😂

It's occured to me lately all the ways on which my adhd really has inhibited my ability to draw, and i just wanted to write it all out in a bulletpoint format and go through them to see if i can't find a solution to some of them.

Boredom - i get bored doing the same thing for too long and will rarely finish something if it takes me more than a week to finish.

Computer runs on 4GB - My computer is, sadly, shit. Which means a lot if waiting and hassling to save files on external hard drives.

External validation - not unique to adhd but i've been told we react much more strongly to other people's opinions of us, which sounds about right. So if i don't feel other people enjoy what i make, or even one person doesn't, whose opinion i value, i lose motivation.

Going outside - drawing from life is something i enjoy but it's very hard for me to do, which has led to me feeling very stuck in a single mindset for a very long time even though i would like to get inspiration from other sources. The insp bank is just very empty.

Starting and stopping - it's just such a hassle to navigate hyperfocus. To an extent i know how to trigger it, work with it, make the most of it, etc. But it still just takes a Lot of energy to manage.

Back pain - having a hard time exercising and stretching regularly has made it so my back pain is stopping me from drawing even if i want to.

Too tired all the time - everything is much more exausting when u have adhd so even if i wanted to work on åersonal projects or whatever, the physical and emotional toll is just too high.

Probably not an exaustice list lbr but at leadt i have it.

So a few things are more existential in nature like: "what do i want to spend my limited time on this earth making?" "Why do i feel like what i am doing is not enough?" Etc. Etc. And probably can't be solved in one sitting.

A couple things can rly be aided by a better settup though so once i move in i'm going to need to start thinking about a better settup:

A better computer with a RAM that doesn't actively want me dead.

(And good screen placement to go w that, so im not actively murdering my neck).

(And a new tablet that's not 10yrs old and a safety hazard).

Established places for all my tools so i can work with minimal effort.

Smaller usb sticks labeled by year would be nice. Computer folders drive me mad.

An inspiration board (and planning board) would be nice. Being able to visually see all my projects in action at all times. Worth a try honestly.

Moving in and settling down will aid on a few fronts:

Generally not being constantly worried about moving in to a new appartment will be swell. Love that for future me.

Exercise will happen more regularly once i move in and am not constantly stressed. Also i'll live rly close to a gym so.. fingers crossed that solves That problem.

Going back to work will help with that.

Fingers crossed ill have energy for parkour again soon🤞🤞🤞

Genuinely no solution for the Too Tired problem. I'll likely just have to let myself rest once in a while even if it means giving up on exercise and drawing for a week or more at a time. Which is probably healthy lbr.

Which.. that leaves the three biggest issues (shocker).

Going outside would help with boredom but going outside is hard.

I think i'll have to invest in some better outdoorsy bags. Like those rly cool leather hip pouches. Those would be great. Just.. a way to easily carry equipment qith me so i can just draw when i feel like it and don't have to dig around a bag just find a pencil.

Like this lol. Big enough to fit an a5 sketch book bc that's my preffered size snd like.. one water colour set and a pen. Imagine that. I think that would be Swell. I don't need a bunch. Just enough that i can carry the essentials anywhere i go.

The dream.

Another reason to marry a leather worker.

And honestly like.. i think taking a break from fanart and social media and just going outside to draw and see the world.

I think that's what i need rn.

Then there's the issue of external validation, which isn't anyone's fault, it just kinda Is.

I figure quitting social media can help with that too. Sorry to say.

The rest is probably just processing what i want to do and stuff. Ya kno. The existential bits.

[kinnsporsche]

once again an episode that made me absolutely lose my mind!!! kp are so in love and they finally said it!! although, i would have liked it better if they said it to each other in private first but oh well can't have everything. and porsche is officially a stay at home wife i love that for him. the scene when p was drying kinn’s hair though, it was the softest shit i have ever seen in my life <3 i also loved the scenes with taytime they are always so good i wish they had more screen time. 1/4

and we got the kimchay breakup :/ i was expecting it but it still hurt. I still have hope that they will end up together. however, the most important part of this episode (for me) was vegaspete!!! god these two make me go insane. the way we went from sadistic torture to that convo at the end. bible and build's chemistry is actually unbelievable i can't get enough of these sick motherfuckers. and don't even get me started on the cinematography like the lights and the shots and just the whole atmosphere it was so good and so sexy and I’m gonna need 3-5 business days to recover. that preview was the final nail in my coffin i don't think i can wait a whole week for more. I’ve read some metas about them but honestly I don’t even care if vegas changes for pete or not. their relationship is so fucked up on so many levels that I don’t think it can really be redeemed. certainly not in 3 episodes. and honestly does he need to be? can’t he just stay the fucked up villain that he is? I wouldn’t mind. I’m just here to enjoy some toxic fictional men be sexy and gay and so far they did just that so I’m satisfied. I can’t believe we only have 3 episodes left T_T I don’t know what I will do when this show ends. (I hope you’re doing well )

omg my kp anon i've missed u so much!!!!

for me i'd always had a hc that kinn had a hard time saying ily to anybody bcs he'd been burned by love in the past so he hated saying it but this show roundhouse kicked that in the face and left me obliterated at the scene this mf is out here shouting it from rooftops to anybody who'll listen good for him

god you know what sends me absolutely feral? kinn casually mentioning his mother to porsche. her death must still be a sore subject for him, nobody talks about it we've hardly had any mention of her and for him to just be like "my mother used to do this for me" god how long has it been since someone's taken care of him like that? and now here's porsche the biggest caretaker in the world just so ready and willing to do everything he can to take care of kinn bcs thats his love language and he loves him sm i just y'all mind if i break the fuck down real fast

pls the kimchay break up!!!! like kimothy i get why you did what you did but that doesn't mean me and tankhun won't beat your ass for it bestie 😔😔 you made the baby cry. like he's literally alread living at the estate, he can't get anymore involved with the mafia, but i guess kim was literally just faced with the reality of porchay being kidnapped because of his ties to the mafia through his brother, and he's probably thinking about how much worse it'll be if he's tied to the mafia through HIM, he's probably thinking about all their enemies and how much of a target it'd make him so he's being a self-sacrificing little shit about it god tankhun needs to hit him with a tray and knock some sense into him

i haven't been that eager about the vp arc yet, im betting that'll probably change in today's ep and next weeks ep 👀 just wanna see pete humble that man so bad, and i dont want vegas to stop being a bad person just bcs he gets with pete ykwim? he's interesting because he's a villain lets keep it that way besties. i do bet he'll get a redemption arc, i've mentioned this to a few people i talk to but with the way things are going it made me wonder if the big shootout at the major family house in the promo where vegas is framed as a big bad is actually misleading and vegas'll be there to help kinn and the major family and maybe put a bullet in his dad's head i just wish him a very big die even if i will miss the dilf 😔

pls dont mention that we only have 3 episodes left pls dont mention that theres only 2 more weeks of kinnporsche or i'll start to eat glass

[rk-ocs]

Consequences

---

Invader

There is someone coming into her house that shouldn't be.

She kind of expected this,mom had fought with uncle Aiden over this, when they met up to remember Jackson and mourn.

She didn't expect it to happen when she was home.

She puts on her gun glasses and earplugs.

Steady hands, she reminds herself, as she carefully sets up her gun.  She carefully checks it for obstructions, and ammunition. Once she has completed Reds safety checklist.  , she looks for a good position. Then she loads it.

Steady breathing. She reminds herself. Steady hands.

She has had a lot more practice then Red realizes. There is something southing about shooting at the targets. She's controlled, powerful. She wonders if it will be the same if Red takes her hunting.  She's nervous, and keeping her finger away from the trigger. No need to get twitchy.

He's coming near her spot now. Time to speak up.

Raising her voice, and trying to sound as adult like as she delivers her warning.

"Get the hell out of my house before I shoot you!"

He turns towards her, and she considered that maybe she should have just hid. Or quietly left the house while he robbed it.

But what if he was some kind of murder or kidnapper, who would hide and wait for her or mother?

Shit, what if he is?

"I mean it. Don't come any closer. " she warns.

He looks at her.

"Your not going to shoot me. But having you will be good leverage against Aiden. Possibly even better then Nicole". He gets out his gun.

" Put down your gun, and come with me, and no one will get hurt. "

Something in her freezes at the sight of a gun pointed at her.

"Did he load it?" She wildly wonders. "Or is he bluffing?" She's never been so scared in her life.

She doesn't wait to find out.

"When I shoot deer, I aim for the eyes. It keeps the fur in the best condition." She remembers Red saying once.

The head is a safe place to aim, and he is not wearing goggles.

She adjusts as he steps forward,  then she shoots.

It is a clean shot.

She has just killed someone.

She mechanically empties and cleans her gun, unable to process this properly.

"I am a murder", she realizes, somewhere between (emptying) his gun , and putting both in a safe place.

I just fucking killed someone. 

It dawns on her, that she can't be in this room anymore.

She goes to her room, and curls up on her bed, feeling numb.

She can't think. She can't feel. She's empty.

"I just killed someone. " She tells herself blankly, and waits for the world to start majoring sense again.

-----

Later, she's going to therapy, under a false ID.  They all are. Red is paying. Aiden asks where Red is getting the money, and occasionally accuses her of stealing. Red doesn't really deny it, but she does call Aiden a hypocrite for it.

Some days therapy does help. Other days are bad days.  Shes still not talking. Mom and Aiden are mad at Red for teaching her to shoot. Red says she can't undo it, but she can try to help things.

One day Red takes her on a walk.

"I remember you once said shooting a gun was soothing. It made you feel controlled and powerful. I don't know if you want to continue that, but I feel, you would still want to be able to defend yourself. "

She  looked up.  They were outside a Dojo.

"I should have taken you here in the first place. I thought it was just expensive at the time, but I have to remember, not everyone has trainers. The trainers I have, are probably expensive. And maybe this style will be more suited to you.  Karate. To teach you to defend. To build up muscle. There's a reason I started you on the H&R that I did, and that's because most others have recoil that would teach you bad habits. Would probably really mess up your aim. If Im guessing right, If this is something you feel you will enjoy, do you want to go try it out. "

Lena did like Karate. By the end of it, her  muscles were pleasantly sore, and She felt alert and energized.  Red copied down the times for practice, bought me a gii, a belt, and a years subscription.

"I made you an account. You can use it to pay for The subscription and other supplies, like a new gii one day. But I have to see that your putting work into this. I want to see your moves and your belts. No blowing it on drug money, alright , that's just wasteful. "

Lena rolled her eyes. Like she planned on getting into drugs.  When Red kept ranting how expensive they were. She certainly had a better track record at staying out of the hospital.

In some ways

[peachyproserpina]

its literally a rant that i need to post somewhere so im not blowing up peoples DMs with this bullshit please scroll past.

I wish I could just exist and have it not be exhausting or exist in a way that I don't have to cope in such an unhealthy way. fuckin tiktok has been nothing but like AuDHD and like slf help shit and its making me realize im older then i ever thought id get to. a whole fuckin 12 years after the fact and my healing is up to me and just UGH. its alot. im also having a whole thing about being stuck working and never able to fully enjoy myself due to the crush weight of being in the US and im gonna try to put myself out there this weekend at the bars / parties im going to have to deal with the constant self rejection and the recjection from others and im not like SUPER ready for that again. I jsut think about the dude who told me I was coming on too strong for asking him out, then as my friend is cursing him out he fucking asked her out infront of me. That sounds so dumb and middle school but i just havent been able to stop thinking about it. He saw me too.

I don't register as a person to so many people here. I hate it. no its obviously a me thing. if i wasnt so fucked up and fat people would like me. I know I have been talking about this and myself all day and im sick of thinking about myself but i cant stop. and legit ive just been crying all day because like im responible for my own healing even though i wasn't responsible for getting hurt in the first place and i just hate it. I also know I need to take steps to really take care of myself and better myself so I can be a good partner and a good parent but shits hard. and the worst part is i know im so exhausting and all i do is complain about my situation like im not the one responsible for gettting myself into it. and all i do is bitch and whine but take not action and i hate it so i cant imagine how yall feel. I just I don't know. It's this constant battle of "I have to change the way I think about myself because this isn't healthy" and "this is litterally who you are" and im so exhausted all the time. ive burnt out my FAWN response and I just don't feel like I've been giving those around the love and attentiveness they deserve from me and I hate that most of all I think. It's so hard to actively listen and i used to be able to be so engaged and attentive and I don't know what happened other then getting exhausted. Everyone deserves so much more from me but I can't give it. And I really just feel like all I do is talk about myself and my issues and i hate it. I also just became socially aware earlier this year and my whole childhood has changed. I was so used to people abusing/beating/yelling at me or directly telling me that they don't like me as I was growing up that all those little like bullying behaviors and like things never clicked in my mind that they were malicious until this year. I know it doesn't matter and it shouldn't impact me as much as it does specially considering this shit was like 20 years ago but I dont know. I grew up believing people liked me and now I'm finding out that people didn't actually like me. It's just jarring and it;s so dumb. Plus its been feeding back into my life now. I am so painfully socially aware of myself that I don't want to leave the house.

I dont want to meet new people because they are just going be mean and cruel to me and I wont know it. And again ignorance is bliss and like i wish i still was unaware. and i know this has just got to be some kind of mental health issue. Its anxeity or something making me feel like this and like I know i shouldn't care what others think of me. But I also want to just like... date and go out and have fun and whatnot. I feel like in order to do that you have to care about what people think of you in some capacity. I don't know. life is hard. this is too hard. I'm not gonna find someone to have a family with and im pretty sure im infertile so i cant have kids anyway. so like whats the point. Might as well waste my life away on the internet and just..... be that old office lady who never had kids or got married. and shes great at work, so kind and nice, and it just makes you sit there and think 'what is wrong with her.' like there has to be something so broken and fucked up with her that she can keep a job for 30 years but no one wants to live with her. thats who I am. I'm not ready to accept that fate because I dont WANT to be that person but I am. I might as well try to fuck around and get some dating in before it's too late for me. this was stupid. I shouldn't post it but im going to. in some fucked up hope that this will fix me. When the only thing that would fix me is losing 200 pounds and getting some normal fuckin hobbies.

[pesterloglog]

Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora, Vriska Serket, Tavros Nitram

Act 5, page 2547

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.

CCG: THIS IS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO START A NEW MEMO.

CCG: IN FACT IT'S A BETTER TIME THAN ANY BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE LAWS OF CHAT CLIENT PREDESTINATION I DON'T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE DO I.

CCG: FUCK.

CCG: IT DOESN'T MATTER, IT'S STILL A GOOD TIME TO DO IT.

CCG: PEOPLE, WE NEED TO GET ORGANIZED HERE.

CCG: SHIT IS GETTING SERIOUS.

CCG: WE ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON OPERATION REGISURP, A CUNNING PLAN DEVISED BY DOUBLE ARCHAGENT JACK NOIR TO EXILE THE BLACK QUEEN.

CCG: WE WILL NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THIS, EVEN THE IDIOTS.

CCG: AND ONCE AGAIN, A REMINDER

CCG: DO NOT TROLL ME IN THESE MEMOS FROM ANY POINT IN TIME OR IT'S AN INSTA-BAN.

CCG: ALSO A NOTE TO MY FUTURE SELF

CCG: IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SAY SOMETHING SMUG, DO ME A FAVOR AND SHOVE A THROB STALK IN IT.

CCG: JUST SIT THERE PATIENTLY AND WAIT FOR ME TO BECOME YOU IN THE DUE COURSE OF TIME, THUS IMPROVING YOUR INTELLECT DRASTICALLY.

CCG: OR, INTELLECTS PLURAL.

CCG: I FORGOT, THERE ARE A LOT OF YOU FUCKERS OUT THERE.

CCG: ALL OF YOU, JUST ZIP YOUR CHUTES. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, LIKE THERE'S NOTHING BETTER TO DO IN THE FUTURE???

CCG: IT'S THE FUTURE FOR GOD'S SAKE, A REALM OF ENDLESS FUCKING POSSIBILITIES.

CCG: NOW

CCG: BEFORE WE GET STARTED, LET'S TAKE A TOLL OF THE SITUATION AT THIS POINT IN TIME.

CCG: *MY* POINT IN TIME.

CCG: WHO'S IN SO FAR, WHO'S NOT, ETCETERA.

FUTURE caligulasAquarium [FCA] 3:11 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FCA: hey sorry for bustin in on the memo but i cant get ahold of you youre not answwerin

CCG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

FCA: gams advvice is fuckin useless all he told me wwas to enjoy a bevverage

CCG: NO, DUDE, DON'T DRINK THAT SHIT. IF IT WERE UP TO HIM WE WOULD ALL DRINK FAYGO AT ONCE IN SOME RITUALISTIC RAP CLOWN SUICIDE PACT.

CCG: BUT INSTEAD OF COMMITTING SUICIDE THE THING THAT WE ALL ACCOMPLISH IS BECOMING INSTANTANEOUS ASSHOLES WITH AWFUL TASTE.

FCA: i mean

FCA: its not evven that bad

FCA: its just soda but wwhatevver this isnt the point

CCG: THIS ISN'T THE VENUE FOR AIRING YOUR FUTURE PROBLEMS, COUNT SEA DIPSHIT.

FCA: i knoww i knoww

FCA: its just

FCA: i got a problem

FCA: wwith feferi

FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin

CCG: OK, WELL

CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO

CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU.

CCG banned FCA from responding to memo.

CCG: BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN?

CCG: WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT.

CCG: OK.

CCG: IS EVERYBODY GOOD?

CCG: JUST GONNA SIT HERE FOR A MINUTE, LOCAL TIME, AND SEE IF ANYONE ELSE HAS ANY SHIT THEY WANT TO SCRAPE OFF THEIR BULGE ON TO MY CLEAN NUTRITION PLATEAU.

CCG: NOBODY?

CCG: GREAT, WONDERFUL.

CCG: I NOW OFFICIALLY DECLARE THE NONSENSE PORTION OF THIS MEMO TO BE OVER.

CCG: THIS DECREE SHALL BE BINDING AND LASTING.

CCG: BACK TO PLANNING REGISURP.

CCG: BEAR DOWN EVERYBODY, THIS IS FUCKING IMPORTANT, THERE IS A QUEEN ON THE LOOSE AND WE'VE GOT TO SHOW A BITCH THE DOOR.

FUTURE arachnidsGrip [FAG] 609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FAG: ::::D

CCG: UN BE FUCKING LIEVABLE.

FAG: Kaaaaaaaarkat!

FAG: I'm sorry!

FAG: 8ut do you have any idea how funny this thing is? I mean this whole thing???????? I can't stop laughing!

CCG: HEY CAN FUTURE YOU MIND-PREVENT ME FROM HITTING THE BAN BUTTON?

CCG: I'M GENUINELY CURIOUS! GO AHEAD, TRY TO STOP ME I DARE YOU.

FAG: I'm not going to try, I'm just here to say this whole thing is ridiculous.

FAG: We didn't really need you to pretend to 8e a little angry general to get any of this done.

FAG: We kicked the queen out of there no sweat! It was easy. In fact, I did most of the work myself, right 8efore I found all the treasure and scaled all the rungs.

CCG: OH, ALL OF THEM YOU SAY?

CCG: FASCINATING.

CCG: HEY FORGET THE BAN BUTTON, USE YOUR MIND POWERS TO HELP ME LOCATE THE DESPERATELY ATTEMPT TO GIVE A SHIT BUTTON. WHOOPS WE BOTH FAILED, IT DOESN'T EXIST.

FAG: Hey, I'm gone. I just think you should relax.

FAG: You were wound up so tight through the whole adventure, and now here in the present you're a8out to explode. It's insuffera8le!

CCG: EVERYBODY, DID YOU HEAR THAT?? SUPERFUTURE VRISKA HAS AN IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON FOR US ALL.

CCG: WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OUR PRESENT RESPONSIBILIES AND OBLIGATIONS!

CCG: BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT, IN THE FUTURE ALL THAT STUFF ALREADY HAPPENED. WE'RE OFF THE FUCKING HOOK!

CCG: TIME TO RELAX. LET'S ALL CRAWL INTO OUR COCOONS AND GET BUSY STIMULATING OUR AUTOEROGENOUS SHAME GLOBES.

CCG: FIRST ONE TO START A WANK FIRE GETS A SHINY BOONDOLLAR.

CCG: THIS IS AN ORDER FROM YOUR LEADER.

FAG: Hahahahahahahaha.

CCG banned FAG from responding to memo.

CCG: LATER, FAG.

CCG: TOO BAD THE ACRONYM WASN'T "HAG" INSTEAD, IT WOULD HAVE SUITED YOU MUCH BETTER.

CCG: INSTEAD OF THAT NONSENSE WORD

CCG: MAYBE ITS ASSOCIATION WITH YOU WILL COLLOQUIALLY CAUSE IT TO TAKE ON A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

CCG: MAYBE FAG WILL BE "THE NEW BURN!" EVEN THOUGH IT REALLY MEANS NOTHING IN OUR LANGUAGE.

CCG: I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS STUPID, FORGET IT

CCG: OK I'M RAMBLING HERE, I'M AWARE OF THAT.

CCG: FUTURE ME, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE WEIGH IN ON THIS, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

CCG: IF I WERE FUTURE ME, WHICH I GUESS I AM, I WOULD READ THIS AND BE ALL OVER IT, LIKE DAMMIT KARKAT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.

CCG: GET TO THE POINT.

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 0:20 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FCG: YEAH PRETTY MUCH.

CCG banned FCG from responding to memo.

CCG: SO I'M SAYING IT TO MYSELF ALREADY HERE AND NOW, SO I WON'T HAVE TO LATER, GOT IT YOU TRENCHANT BACKBITING PRICKS?????

CCG: DAMN, I'M LOSING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

CCG: MAYBE I'LL PICK IT UP AGAIN IN A FRESH MEMO LATER.

CCG: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S RIGHT THOUGH, BECAUSE I VAGUELY REMEMBER THIS ONE BEING LONGER THAN THIS.

PAST adiosToreador [PAT] 0:38 HOURS AGO responded to memo.

PAT: hEYY,

CCG: OH SON OF A BITCH.

PAT: i THOUGHT,

PAT: sINCE IT LOOKS LIKE, yOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE OUT OF IMPORTANT MEMO STUFF TO SAY,

PAT: uHH,

PAT: mAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME, hERE,

PAT: sINCE i DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW, bUT MAYBE HELP ME,

PAT: aBOUT A THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH A GIRL,

PAT: lIKE,

PAT: a ROMANCE THING, yOU MIGHT KNOW ABOUT,

CCG: YOU PEOPLE ARE IMBECILES.

CCG: ALL OF YOU.

CCG: I AM NOT POSTING THESE MEMOS TO COUNSEL YOU ON YOUR PAST AND FUTURE DATING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CCG: WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH BASKET CASES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE.

PAT: sORRY,

CCG: SHOULD I BAN YOU? WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT ANYMORE! ONE OF YOU STOOGES WILL BE RIGHT ON THE LAST ONES HEELS WITH ANOTHER SOB STORY.

CCG: JUST

CCG: HURRY UP AND TELL ME WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS BRO.

PAT: oKAY,

PAT: i'M SORT OF, lYING ON vRISKA'S FLOOR RIGHT NOW,

PAT: lIKE, iN HER BLOCK,

PAT: lYING DOWN,

PAT: uHH, yOU KNOW, bECAUSE i CAN'T WALK,

CCG: OH NO SHIT REALLY???

CCG: YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.

PAT: uH, yEAH, aNYWAY,

PAT: sHE TRIED TO KISS ME,

PAT: wELL, sHE DIDN'T TRY, sHE ACTUALLY DID,

PAT: aND THEN, kIND OF DROPPED ME,

PAT: aND ALSO WE ARE WEARING COSTUMES,

PAT: wOW, i'M NOT EXPLAINING THIS WELL,

CCG: THIS IS SO FUCKED UP, WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO.

PAT: aND NOW, tO MAKE IT,

PAT: uHHHHH,

PAT: a LOT WEIRDER,

PAT: tHERE IS AN ANGRY VOICE IN MY HEAD,

PAT: i DONT THINK IT'S rUFIO THIS TIME,

PAT: rUFIO'S NOT THAT ANGRY,

PAT: hE'S ALSO IMAGINARY,

PAT: lIKE, a FAKE MADE UP FRIEND,

PAT: yOU KNOW, lIKE,

PAT: tHE WAY FAIRIES ARE, }:(

CCG: GOD, ACTUALLY I REMEMBER READING THIS BULLSHIT.

CCG: OR SKIMMING IT AT LEAST.

CCG: HOW COULD I FORGET???

CCG: MORE LOONEYBLOCK THEATER, AND HERE I AM DRAWING THE CURTAINS FOR YOU GUYS LIKE A DOPE.

PAT: aNYWAY, i THINK VRISKA IS UPSET ABOUT IT, aND SHE'S NOT TALKING OR ANYTHING,

PAT: wHAT DO i DO,

CCG: OK WELL, I CAN ADVISE YOU AND STUFF

CCG: BUT YOU DO REALIZE THIS IS A PUBLIC BULLETIN.

CCG: WE SHOULD BE HAVING THIS CHAT IN PRIVATE.

CCG: EVERYONE CAN READ THIS, EVEN HER.

CCG: I MEAN FUCK, SHE WAS *JUST HERE* TALKING YOU DUMMY!

PAT: i KNOW, i READ THAT,

PAT: bUT,

PAT: tHAT'S FUTURE HER, wHICH,

PAT: dOESN'T SEEM SO BAD,

PAT: mAYBE FUTURE HER CAN READ THIS, aND,

PAT: i GUESS,

PAT: kNOW i'M SORRY ABOUT IT,

PAT: i DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HER FEELINGS,

CCG: WELL, FINE, IF YOU WANT TO BROADCAST A TRANSTIMELINE APOLOGY THEN FINE.

CCG: BUT YOU SHOULD REALIZE THE FUTURE IS KIND OF A WIDE OPEN THING, I MEAN SHE COULD READ THIS LIKE TWO MINUTES IN THE FUTURE AS WELL AS 600 HOURS.

CCG: AT THAT POINT YOU WOULD ESSENTIALLY BE TALKING TO PRESENT HER, COMPLETELY DEFEATING THE PURPOSE OF YOUR SPINELESS MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE APOLOGY.

PAT: oH,

PAT: yEAH,

PAT: i DIDN'T, rEALLY THINK OF THAT,

PAST arachnidsGrip [PAG] 0:08 HOURS AGO responded to memo.

PAG: Hi.

CCG: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

PAG: Karkat, shut up! This does not concern you.

CCG: OK WHATEVER. MY MEMO, BUT WHATEVER.

PAT: uH, wOW,

PAT: hI,

PAG: Tavros, it's ok. Really.

PAG: So you don't feel that way a8out me! That's fine. I shouldn't have expected any different.

PAG: I can deal with it! I am not a wimp like you. I roll with 8ad 8r8ks all the time. No 8iggie.

PAG: In fact, I already have dealt with it. I was over here dealing with it while you were over there on the floor fooling around with your computer after a cute girl tried to kiss you for some reason.

PAG: As it turned out, fooling around with your computer to........

PAG: Go cry on future Karkat's shoulder a8out this????????

PAT: uM,

PAT: yEAH,

PAG: Hahahaha. You are a str8nge and funny 8oy, Tavros.

CCG: OH GOD

CCG: THIS IS

CCG: COMPLETELY HILARIOUS.

CCG: NOW I SEE WHY EVERYONE HAS BEEN RIPPING ON MY MEMOS.

PAG: Karkat I said shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!

PAG: Anyway, though totally unnecessary, your apology is accepted.

PAT: oKAY,

PAG: Now pick yourself up off the floor so we can go wring some fucking treasure out of this misera8le magic rock!

PAT: yEAH, i'LL TRY,

PAG: Actually, never mind, I'll 8e over there to help you with that too, kind of like I do with everything.

PAG: Just lie still and try not to start crying or anything, and w8 a few minutes for your timeframe to catch up with mine.

PAT: uH,

PAT: wHAT,

PAG: Exactly! I aaaaaaaam smarter than you. You see? You're learning!

CCG: FUCK, ENOUGH ALREADY.

CCG: THERE, GREAT, ANOTHER HAPPY COUPLE

CCG: IN WHATEVER HIDEOUS QUADRANT THIS BATSHIT PAIRING WILL SUSTAIN.

CCG: NOW OFF YOU GO.

CCG banned PAT from responding to memo.

CCG banned PAG from responding to memo.

CCG: HOLY HELL.

CCG: THIS IS EXHAUSTING.

CCG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE.

CCG: OK, MAYBE I'LL TAKE A MINUTE TO COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND GET BACK ON TOPIC HERE.

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FCG: NO YOU WON'T.

FCG: THIS ONE WAS PARTICULARLY NAUSEATING IN RETROSPECT, I'M SHUTTING THIS DOWN.

FCG banned CCG from responding to memo.

FCG closed memo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[nightowlspawn]

"You come up here often?" I hear his voice followed by the door closing.

"Ehhh, depends." I swig the bottle between my fingers careful not to let it drop because fuck, this shit is good. I fell in love with it tonight. Id probably fall in love with any motherfucker that handed me some cherry wine, but the person who gave me cherry wine was him and im already in love sooo. Dont count. "It's really pretty tonight soo." He nods beside me and rests his arms on the edge. Him? Why he do that?

I steal a look and take another sip. Why he look so focused? With his- damn, his eyes. How the hell he get them pretty bitches? Gyatdamn his face his beautiful. And those lips? Mannn. Don’t even get me started. Holy shit look at his arms. Hes buff. how'd he get that kind of muscle anyway? Bro your hands! I bet they'd look better wrapped around my waist you know what 'm sayin? What? That did not come out of my mouth. Mmm yeah it did. Yeah you flex them muscles. Why is that so hot when you mess with your hair? The urge to put my hands through it. Stop looking like that or im going to kiss you. Then im gonna regret it.

I dont realize I'm still staring until he exhales and steps back. I continue staring at the sunset as he reads the label on the bottle i had next to me. "You really like this?" It's more of an observation than a question, but I respond anyway.

"It's only perfection in a bottle. Would you like a taste sir?" I smile and motion to the wine in my hand.

"I've had a few already." "Sips?" I scoff. I wouldn't take him as someone who drinks at parties. At least not like i do.

"Glasses. The champagne is really good." I nod hum in shock. Classy man he his, and still, dumb as fuck.

"You take the alcohol well."

"Not my first round." He smiles. "You'd be surprised. What about you?" He gestures at the bottle in my hand and the one dangerously close to the edge.

"Oh this?" I scoff amused. "I had a glass and i hate drinking off people, and this shit is divine. i wanted to enjoy it peacefully, without anyone gettin me to try other shit. That one is for later." I point to it with my almost empty bottle.

"Shit." He laughs. "You're don't seem as drunk."

"Ain't my first rodeo either." I chug the last sip and set the bottle down. "Shouldn't you be downstairs? This is a party for you, after all."

"As a joke. I can't stand them." He shakes his head, which makes his hair fall in his face and he moves to fix it. If this motherfucker does that one more time-  "And its tiring being this likeable. I can't move two steps without someone eyeing me or flirting." Aint that the mother fucking truth.

"Damn, you make it sound terrible."

"It's not always. There's just someone that has more of my," I push off the ledge and look him in his eyes. He follows my movement and gives me a once over. "Attention."

"Is there now?" I mock question. I already know the answer as i walk closer to him. Now im looking down at his eyes, which still make my heart stop its normal rhythm to make sure it only beats when he blinks.

"Yeah." He stands up. "And she's fucking gorgeous."

"Why don't you just kiss me already?"

"Because god, you're fucking confusing."

"I'm confusing?"

"Yes, you confuse me!"

"Alright whatever."

"Well whats that supposed to mean?"

"Doesn't matter." I wrap my arms around his neck and smile like an idiot. "You sure we can do this? They're not gonna come around in a helicopter and broadcast it to the world are they?" He smiled back into her lips.

"Let em look."