#im dying of cringe but holding on strong

[ririrules60]

WHAT??? undertale content in 2023??? UNDERTALE AUS IN 2023???? SANS AUS????

yes.

[missroro]

Hi! So… this is my very first fic, please be nice to me🥺 and tell me what you think?? Im sorry if this cringe your soul.. but i hope you enjoy this.. enjoy!!

He’s broken, his eyes shows.

Older sister! OC x Lo’ak. Platonic.

His colors is fading. He’s changing. Slowly he becomes dull and silent. Suddenly standing taller with his tense shoulders, that now carrying the burden that was once carried by another.

Emotions swirling in his soul, guilt mostly. The imagine of his brother dying before him, the sound of his mother screaming, the looks of his father face.

It all engraved on his mind, but the sight of his big sister, Nik’tirey, clutching her chest right above her heart in pain, as if have of her soul was ripped away from her. Burned him and his very soul, but it’s true. She was Neteyams twin after all.

It should have been me.

It haunts him. Woke him every night, again, again, and again. So he just stop, when everybody was asleep, he lay there awake with his eyes close. Then he ventures out, walking on the beach.

It should have been me instead.

“Lo’ak..”

He knows that voice, he didn’t look at her. Afraid of the wall that he build would fall down and crash, because the wall that he thought was strong was shaking, just like his hands.

“Little brother, look at me plea-“

“I can’t.” He said. Balling up his hand to stop the shaking.

“Why?”

His eyes still on the ocean, looking at the waves, the moon shining, the bright sea creatures. Trying to calm his beating heart by taking deep breaths, but it doesn’t even help because of the pain.

“If.. if i look at you, i will..” his voice shaking. The breeze suddenly picked up making him even harder to breathe.

And the pain just growing stronger.

“I will start crying.”

“Look at me, skaxwng.”

Gathering up his courage and straightening his shoulder, he look at her. The spitting imagine of him.

Nik’tirey take a good look at him, he becomes dull, the little star on his face didn’t shine bright like it used too, his cheeks has sunk a little bit, he’s thinner, his eyes, hold and show so many emotions with just only one look.

Forgive me.

It should have been me.

“It must have been hard for you, huh?” She stepped closer and hugs him. Patting his back.

“It’s not your fault, Lo’ak.”

The wall crashed.

“It was never your fault.” She whispered.

Help me.

“I’ll help you, Lo’ak.”

Don’t leave.

“I won’t leave. I’m right here, little brother..” she said dragging her hand on his head, tears sliding down her face. She cried for him, she cried for the pain that he carried himself, she cried on how he has grown up too quickly, she cried that he changed himself for her Father, she cried for how broken he is.

“You don’t have to carry this pain alone, anymore. Im right here. Okay?” He nodded, hands clutching to his sister as he sobbed on her shoulder. He cried everything out into the night.

Eywa had shed a tear with him that night, for his cries of the pain in his heart had breached the heaven above.

[detectiveaku]

dsmp characters as valo mains

my credentials are im iron 3 and watch a shit ton of foolish and etoiles valo streams :) based on fighting styles mostly cause i. love thinking about their fighting styles

ctommy - gekko creatures! so many creatures! also i feel like he would want the spike every round and be the first to peak every corner.

ctubbo - cypher very sneaky. teammates just give him half of the map to hold by himself. always by himself despite not having any offensive util. still carries every game best agent i love you!!!

cranboo - phoenix self-sufficient kit, also able to provide cover for teammates. still manages to bottom frag every game.

cwilbur - killjoy ho16 is some shit only a killjoy main would pull. setting up some cringe lineups and playing offsite so you don't actually have to shoot your gun. also the ult is clearing an area of the map without killing anyone which is basically plan bomb.

cquackity - brimstone sorry cq but im giving you brim cause ive never known a brim main that was good at the game. completely dogshit always all they do is sit in corners with a shotgun. just play support and whiff your ult like you're supposed to.

cdream - chamber controversial but like. its an agent dependent on accuracy and playing cringe and being toxic. got a massive nerf and is now unplayable.

cpunz - sage cpunz is literally dreams pocket sage. ult is a resurrection. both a support character and an offensive character.

ctechno - raze kaboom i mean. what do you want me to say. high damage good movement. requires you to be good at the game. teammates take him for granted and enemies hate his ass.

cphil - sova dogshit agent with horrible util but if you're in a 1-v-1 with him you are losing. snipes you clear across the map and then all his teammates come and fuck your shit. super non toxic which just makes you hate him more.

cniki - skye generally regarded as support character until they have to clutch a 1-v-5 because their teammates all suck and then they clutch the fuck out of it. this is my main hi niki nihachu !!!

cschlatt - reyna weird pick but reyna doesnt really have any abilities if you arent killing people but if you are its super strong. very imbalanced its either you are dying first every round or hitting an ace.

csapnap - omen every time i see someone be really good at omen i wonder why they arent playing a good agent instead. which reminds me of csap. pls just play yoru or something

csam - deadlock cause prison warden get it??? hahah. deadlocks use all their abilities on one person and still they end up killing her cause shes a terrible agent. L

cponk - breach in theory super strong but in practice i always wish i just had like. anyone else.

cjack manifold - KAY/O i almost forgot you just like i always forget KAY/O exists. even when theres a kay/o on my team i forget about it. also robot hc.

cslime - viper slime goop. falls apart whenever anyone actually attacks them but crucial for the team.

this is canon i asked the dream smp discord server and they all sent me this. i hope i didnt forget anyone im very tired

[toadstool32]

tiny i really have to ask you what you see in the anime Beatles dudes. why are you so hot for them (this is lighthearted, you do you)

this was the funniest thing i could wake up to, ty anon

as for the question..."what do i see in them " hmmmm well i come from the homestuck background so im sure i could find a rock hot if u gave it enough personality tbh

Which the sextuplets have a lot of! (incredibly so!)

also the way the question is framed implies that i wanna get it on with all six of them, which is also funny, but im only gunning for the one, i swear.

why am i so hot for this guy..... thats a good question..... im not sure...

ok well one hes so fail he tries so hard to be "the cool one" and constantly fucks it up, hes self proclaimed "a sinful man, a guilt guy" what the fuck does that mean hes so stupid i want him so bad, one of his brothers told him he was painful (read cringe as fuck) and his response was that he didnt want to hurt anyone bc he loved them all 8RRRRAAAUAGHHHH)

TWO hes like, blue, i like blue guys :3

^^^what the fuck is he doin

also the oso merch is like, they REALLY want you to choose one of them to love forever and ever and they keep putting out cute designs to make u want to hold them and its.working, sadly

listen every brother is kind of a shithead and awful in theyr own right if they were real guys i would (thinks about the live action movie) sorry i cant say suddenly, anyway, i suffer from karamatsu girls and boys disease which was caused by the fact that he was the punching bag in S1 and i NEVER recovered.

^^^the face of someone who just realized his brothers care more about pears than saving him from dying at sea/burned at a stake

by season 2 they started bullying totty instead of karamatsu and the way they made it up to him was that he suddenly is like, more silly??? you could say painful but the skits (THIS IS A SKITS ANIME WHY AM SO INTO THAT) make it like, haha remember the whole bullying karamatsu joke, hes on it now, and hes making it yr problem, he lears to fucking be more cringe n shit so ppl leave him alone, by season 3 they make hi even more of a bitch its GREAT

hes feral he bites he scratches but he wont bc hes kind of a pushover, no joke karamatsu would be so cute wait not cute im delusional he would be so cool if he stoped trying so hard but he puts his own face on his shirts and that kinda makes him a loser

i was gonna lookin for another picture but what the fuck is this,

what the fuck where was i , hes a bitch he does not care about shit unless its funny theres a bit of infor where when asked about osomatsu (the oldest) hes like hes shitty at being the eldest when he fails irrevocably then i will have to step up i love, shitty eldests bickering <3 theres this running gag where choromatsu trips n falls and karamatsu goes like CHOROMATSU ILL SAVE YOUUUUUU BUT HE JUST???KEEPS RUNNING AWAY???? FAKE ASS,now that i realize this karamatsu is the fakest around choro lolmao like that bit where choromatsu was like hey what do u think i should in the future and that bitch did Not Wanna be involved and yet he went all "follow ur dreams i support u!!!" and then left dead faced i love his mean girls and fake bitches.

coughs also he gives me the stronges vibes of someone who could have a gender/sexuality crisis and i could be the one who makes him realise <losing touch with reality by the second,

anyway i got distracted look i made a mspaint thing

TL;DR: I JUST LIKE THE ONE DUDE

[shanitani]

Hiii! Can I ask for a draken, Mikey, and takemichi with a fem black reader who’s a majorette dancer and they go to one of her competitions for the first time how would they react👀

𝐒/𝐎 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑

i did majorette and hip hop for 7+ years so I LOVED this request ty for requesting darling<3

draken , Mikey , takemichi x BLACK FEM reader

— DRAKEN.

You asked him to come to one of your competitions when he wasn’t busy

so of course he scheduled around mikeys times - and Mikey being so fond of you he let him go.

he thought you looked gorgeous on stage since he never really got to witness you actually do things you enjoyed outside of school.

his reaction is like 🙂…😮

MOUTH OPENED AND EVERYTHANG just silent the entire time

this mf is thinking : how did you do that without breaking your legs? How are you so fucking fast? Is this even legal to do without dying???

he was so stunned just as the dance started, it quickly ended.

he wanted to see you terribly right after , but he knew you had to wait till awards. (Yes you won duh.)

he awarded you with flowers of course and a kiss on the head even though he could taste the product residue on your hair. He had became accustomed to the taste anyways he really doesn’t care🤷🏽‍♀️

“you did amazing sweetheart. you’re not like… broken?” you giggled hugging him and kissing his cheek as a silent thank you for the flowers , “im perfectly fine love”

bonus — draken would try and sneak give you massages on your legs and thighs bc he is really stuck on the fact that your ass got broken limbs🙁.

— MIKEY.

I feel like he’d say no at first but would actually surprise you and come

you were very happy but not surprised to see him (since you ignored him for a day after confirming his love for you wasnt as strong as beating someone up/j)

would def show up will a teddy bear that he asked draken to get as a apology but that’s not the point💀

he already knows you’re really talented, hes not so surprised to see what you could do

secretly video tapes you bc he finds it adorable but also you’re just super talented he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to get the chance to watch you perform again

slightly cringes at anything that has to do with the splits and winces at a death drop bc wtf-

after it was over he really didn’t care that you had to go backstage he was going right there with you. What can the guards do??

you were very surprised to see him holding a small bear in his hand and kissing your cheek, “you really thought I’d kiss you perform?”

(Bonus — after you told him how harmful a death drop could be if done not properly he urges you to quit as a joke…kinda.)

also bonus again — he talks about the video so damn much being he is whipped for you. also loves to show it off a lot and tell the gang how lucky he is to be your boyfriend…. They get so sick of him.

bonus AGAIN bc I just.. yeah. — he’d urge you to let mitsuya make an outfit for you for your next performance because he wants to see you look even more beautiful that the rest of your team.

— TAKEMICHI.

definitely says yes on the spot even if there’s something else he has to do - he’ll work it out

honestly he really doesn’t know what to expect he just knows you know how to dance.

Then he smile turns into a gasped look like he saw a ghost.

you definitely out preformed just a little bc he was there (did you lose breathe more easily? Yes. It was Lowkey worth it.)

he didn’t know dancing could be/look so dangerous??? but he was just staring at you with heart eyes

unapologetically records. From the moment you got on stage to the moment you ended.

When you’re able to see him he has QUESTIONS and a worried concern bc how tf you ain’t die he doesn’t know.

he thinks it’s so cool that you dance to such difficulty and is fit enough to do it (Lowkey wants you to show him some moves)

You decline saying he could injure himself badly and now he’s concerned if you’re injured.

Out of the three hed bring you the most, roses , teddy bear, chocolate… he just loves spoiling you

bonus — Asks to take a bunch of pictures with you too and puts it as he lock screen because he loves your outfit even tho it made him blush a little because you just looked really pretty.

Taglist ( link in my nav to be added)🎴

@crushsoli @luvmiaa @sscarchiyo

[gureshinlover]

OK IM STARTING AND HERE IS MY THOUGHTS WHILE READING IT

/SHinya: why were we fighting again? Guren: to save the world. Shinya and others: haha cringe lol (I LOVE THEM SM)

SHINYA DONT SAY ITS THE LAST FIGHT YOURE MAKING ME SAD

Mahiru: *kills like at least 50 people in that room* Guren: Here i am mahiru, tell me how to save you!!!!!!! (they also fight like 5 years old “You cant save me” “I can” “no you cant”-)

mahiru its not the right time to be hot im about to hate you

SHE S PULLING SHIGURE’S HAIR :(( anyway shigure x mito moments when shigure falls and mito gets worried “Shigure-san!!”

mahiru’s like “why are you touching some other girl’s breasts in front of me” I-

here we are with the question “what’s the meaning of life” again (said by mahiru)

Shinya’s smile after mahiru talking- I can stare and cry at that smile for hours

GUYS SHINYA CALLED GUREN CHARMING I THINK OR EVEN MORE LIKE “that’s what makes him attractive/ that’s why i’m/we/you(idk) drawn into him” and repeated it to mahiru, “that’s why you’re attracted to him right”(he was talking about why guren is a stupid and  never takes the “right” way and rabbits blah blah”

HERE IT IS GUYS:

Shinya: Which one do you choose  mahiru, right way or guren

Mahiru: And what  did you choose shinya?

Shinya: I chose guren. It’s stupid right? You can laugh all you want. But you’re jealous right? AAAA

Mahiru: ...yes

Shinya: you can still make it, christmas isnt over yet. Forget the right path and accept weakness.

FUCK NO

AAAASAAAAAA ASHDLASJDJASKŞDJALDASŞDKSAŞ NO I DONT WANT TO SCROLL TO THE NEXT PAGE

I SCROLLED FUCK YOU AAAAAA Mahiru: shut up shinya YOU SHUT UP

Guren: SHinya!! SHE FUCKING PLAYS WITH HIM IN HER HAND

GUREN ASKS FOR POWER TO SAVE SHINYA FROM NOYA BUT NOYA SAYS SHINYA’S IMPOSSIBLE IM CRYING

SHE THREW HIM TO THE AIR MAHIRU WHAT THE FUVK ARE YOU DOING

FUCK IT THEYRE ALL DEAD THEIR HEAD IS AAAAAAAAAAAAA IM DYING TOO GOSHI SAID “gure-” BEFORE DYING

Mahiru: I’ll ask again guren. What is the meaning of life? FUCK YOUU gURENS GOING ALL CRAZY RN NOYAS SAYING BE A STRONG DEMON BUT HE STOPPED LAST SECOND WHEN HE HEARD SHINYA’S COUGH AAHHH 

these were already in novel but i’ll translate again:

Shinya: ahh damn it. it’s game over huh 

Guren: don’t talk!! I’ll give you all my power...

Shinya: Guren...

Guren: shut up!

Shinya: guren please listen

Guren: i said shut up!!

Shinya: ...I’ll die.

Guren: You won’t!

Shinya: ...I will

Guren: NO!!

Shinya: ...but... it was   fun. Meeting you.. all of you... playing games...

Guren: Please shut up!!

Shinya: i found the meaning of life.. Meeting you... And like a softy running away... I’ll die (I didnt also get here but the japanese for softy is  甘ちゃん) -and then he says another thing i didnt understand but ends with “isn’t this my win?”) we said we’d stay alive together and win, right?

Guren: ahh we did...

SHIBYA TOUCHING GURENS CHEEK AND SAYING “that’s why.. don’t cry” AAAAAAA KILL ME

Shinya continues: and don’t get angry... if you get angry it’s our loss... Even if i die... like softies, like weaklings, let’s die together..(OH MY GOD SHINYAAA) if we do that that’s our win, i decided so.

GUREN HOLDING SHINYA’S HAND AND IT S SLOWLY FALLING GOT ME OOF

and it’s the chapter’s end huh... I don’t want to see the next chapter and guren kissing mahiru and stuff but i’ll be busy redrawing these pages all the time anyway so idc/

[shu-sakamaki]

Shuu Sakamaki unhealthy and spicy headcanons (I can't hold back no mo', me need to share them)

(PSA : This is purely fiction and it's mean to stay that way, if someone in real life is acting that way towards you please seek help and leaves asap, be safe out here)

- His love is overbearing and intense. This man has been in depression for centuries and you're the first and only person that he truly loves, his whole being is filled with you an you only, which can sometimes be too much. For example, I see Shuu in love with a special look in his eyes, an intense crazed-look especially when he stares at you and can leaves sometimes uneasy. Yes, he stares A LOT and follow every movement that you make, not in a mean way, he's in love.

- Not only he's been suffering for most of his life but also vampires are known to be extremely possessive creatures, so Shuu would NOT understand many "humans like things" that you wanna do such as going out with your friends without him and he will not hesitate to guilt-trip you to make you understand his perspective. Like, "why do you wanna go so bad with other people? Am I not enough ?" or "Well, I, only need you." which leads most of the time to you canceling plans or bringing him with you and he WILL monopolizes you, like you really thought you were going out with your friends ? How cute. This man has no boundaries and literally don't care.

- About boundaries, yeah...its uhm..pretty hard to talk to him on this subject. Shuu is by far the most understanding vampire of them all and this is saying something, but that doesn't mean that he'll be easy to convince, especially when we know that he doesn't like to receive orders. If you tell him that sometimes you need time for yourself or to see other people, he'll grow offended and cold and you'll be the one feeling bad because "he has suffered so much, please don't ask him to be away from you, he can't handle it."

- Sex is a weapon and Shuu knows it damn well. How many times he used sex to makes you too tired to do anything (like going out with other ppl) and clings to you like his life depends on it. We know that blondie like sex but, lord have mercy, it only grows stronger when he's with his S/O, like are you breathing okay ? Can you walk ? This man can spend a whole ass week non-stop in bed (R.I.P that pussy ayyeee) he stops to not affect you physically.

- Shuu is a protector like admin explained but also since he has huge PTSD because of the death of Edgar, he would not tolerate seeing one scratch on you. The moment he feels that you're unsafe somewhere or the slightest danger, he's locking you up. You ain't going out till he get rid of whatever is putting you in danger(mind you that can be ANYTHING, you're allergic to bees and there's one bee outside ? Miss gurl go back in the house before he locks you up for good.) Yes, he is willing to isolate you from everything and everyone if he feels like the world is too dangerous for you. He saw many humans dying in front of him, you are so delicate and fragile, he won't risk it. And this is where you need to be careful, do not make him think that you're in danger or you're never seeing the outside. Again, his love is really pure and intense, he would never wish bad upon the one he adores, but his mind is built a certain way, which can be really hard to understand. He will also take care of you and do a lot of things that you can do on your own, it's not that he's infantilising you but plea-se let him take care of you and put his mind at peace.

- Shuu is also really observant and because he have strong senses, he can feel and smell everything, the littlest mood changes or switch in you, he's looking up at you and putting his head on your lap, all up in your face "what's on your mind ? What's going on ? Is something bothering you ? Tell me please." Or if you're sick, cough once he will go "Huh ? Lay down I'm going to make some tea."

- He's possessive but also slightly obsessive, he wants to know everything about you, even the atrocious cringy stuff that you've done. Shuu is a vampire, "cringe" or "embarrassing" stuffs are obsolete for him, if not, it's only making him adores you more. He's obsessed, boy is listening to your moans when you're not here, what do you expect. He is also really open and a lot more vulnerable when he's in a relationship with you and will tell you everything that goes through his head and he's expecting you to do the same.

- Because he tells you everything, you know most of his story and what he's gone through, so it's really hard for you to be upset by his actions because you know that you're the only thing keeping him stable and happy and because you love him you don't want to hurt him in anyway so you let him do whatever he wants.

- Hickeys, teeth marks, nails line, everything, this man is covering your body with his presence (with love only, of course) and he love to takes you out on dates after when you wear a pretty little outfit showing your "decorated" neck to the public, he feels a wicked sense of pride when the flirty waiter look at your neck and see big purple splotches everywhere, symbol that you're completely his and if you want to hide them he'll pout and will be slightly salty and look at you like "wHY ?!".

Me is done, have a great day everyone, especially admin, I hope that everything will turn out fot the better, I'm sending prayers and good energy towards you. ❤

Y'all see this...? All this? Me. Perfectly and canon me.

((...Dont be proud of it. And thank you honey!! So so so much!!!!!!!! Waaah thank you!!! I LOVED THIS. It is my new bible and Im rereading it forever!!!! I loved it! THANK YOU!!!!!!

[sunnydaisy1]

Just a Cold

MARK SLOAN X READER

REQUEST: Could you do one for when Mark is the reader is sick, but is doing everything to not have him notice. Then ends up getting worse. Sorry hope this makes sense lol :)- Anonymous

A/N: I loved this request sooo much! I wasn’t sure whether you wanted Mark and the reader to be in a relationship or not so I kinda did it like they might be but it could also be just flirting idk? I hope I wrote it okay and that you enjoy it :)

*WHY ISNT THERE A CONCERNED MARK GIF WHERE HE ISNT CRYING URGH*

I blinked my eyes open as sun shot through the blinds into my room, glaring across the white and grey walls. I groaned and rolled over, covering my face with a pillow as i slammed the alarm clock off. A vicious cough ripped through me and I winced, my chest contracting and sharp pains running through my head. It was my own fault really, i had gotten off work a little earlier than usual and decided to go for a walk while it was still light out. My downfall really was when I had decided against bringing a coat, instead trusting the stupid jumper I was wearing to keep me warm. The weather had looked nice enough to begin with but after 20 minutes the sky had decided to chuck buckets of water down on me and I was drenched, resulting in the now painful cold I had given myself. I opened my eyes again and looked at the clock, trying to turn the minutes back to give me more sleep. When this failed, I rolled out of my fluffy, lucious cloud of a bed and walked to the bathroom, hoping a warm shower would wake me up and heal my blocked sinuses. I rubbed my eyes as I stepped into the tiled room, looking at the mirror. My reflection wasn't too bad although I could see my eyes were a little puffy and my nose was sporting a tinge of flaring red. Sighing, I turned the shower on and undressed, pulling my hair up into a bun and stepping into the relaxing steamy fumes. When I had finished getting ready and had grabbed a breakfast bar that would end up ignored in my locker, I trudged out the door, locking it behind me and starting the 10 minute walk to the hospital. I really hoped I would have time to grab some medicine before rounds but I doubted it, seeing as I had spent way too long dying in the shower. A strong breeze ripped past me and I shuddered, pulling my coat closer to me and trying to hold down the scratching cough at the back of my throat. I soon arrived at the hospital doors and gladly went inside, thankful for the shelter against the weather. I walked slowly to the residents' locker room, smiling at a few nurses as they walked past. The room was bustling with noise as I entered and a few people called out my name but I just smiled, making my way over to my locker next to Alex. He turned to face me once he saw me coming over and chuckled at my pained expression. "You look like crap." He said as I stripped off my jacket and jumper, pulling my scrubs over the long sleeved shirt I thankfully wore. "Thanks so much Karev." I hissed, now pulling off my trousers and yanking on the rougher blue scrub ones. "No worries Y/N." He grinned at me and I rolled my eyes, sitting down next to him. The locker room seemed to be getting louder by the second and I shut my eyes, trying to block out the dull pain in my head. I stayed like that for a few minutes until I felt Alex nudge me, "Come on don't want the interns slacking off." I nodded and groaned, standing up. We walked side by side until we reached the nurse's station and he went off to torment his group of suck ups. I gathered the folders with patient info and dragged myself over to my 4 interns who stared at me. "What are you waiting for?" I said harshly and they scampered, heading off to the first patient's room as I followed behind. I wasn't usually that harsh with the interns but I was strict and they behaved well, eager to learn. I tried my best to educate them but sometimes they really got on my nerves. Once we made our way into the first patient's room, the interns lined up by the door while I walked to the bed. "Goodmorning Mr Davis, how are you doing today?" I asked softly, trying to hide my running nose. "Alright, hurts a little but it's getting better." I nodded and looked over to one of my interns, "Johnson?" At once the intern started pratlling on about Mr Davis' case and I nodded along, half listening to him, half trying not to close my eyes. He stopped talking fairly quickly and I nodded, "well done, we need hourly checkups on Mr Davis' vitals for the next few days but you should be ready to go home in a few days." I directed the last part at the patient who nodded and smiled. I walked out the room and passed the interns out the patient folders. The next patient was Mrs Walker who had recently had a rhinoplasty to fix her incredibly wonky broken nose from falling off a ladder while painting her house. It had been a simple case but there were complications in the OR and she was now under careful watch. I noticed Mark standing in the corner of the room and I winced, hoping he would ignore me. I walked to the corner of the room by the door and stood a little away from the patient, listening drowsily to the interns. "Morning Y/N." A voice behind me whispered and my heart picked up pace when I recognised Mark's flirty tone. "Sloan." I said curtly, trying to disguise my illness because I know he would make a big deal out of it and really it was nothing. "Ouch, what's got your panties in a twist today?" Mark teased, easily letting the dirty words roll off his tongue. "Nothing." I retorted, not daring to look Mark in the eye. I could feel the warmth of his body behind me and I wanted so desperately to reach out and let his comforting hold engulf me but I couldn't, not wanting him to make a big deal. "If you say so missy." He replied, whispering close to my ear. Despite my cold, I could feel heat rush through my body at Mark's seductive words. Normally I could retort with a witty remark but today the only thing my brain could focus on was the increasing ache in my bones. "Mark if you have finished flirting with Dr L/N, we have other patients to attend to." Derek called out, and I blushed, not even realising he had come into the room. "See you later L/N." Mark said as he left the room, leaving me wanting his heat back. The rest of rounds passed by incredibly slow and I now sat in the locker room again, trying to catch up on forms and paperwork that needed filling out. I had turned most of the lights off so the room was darker and was nursing a warm coffee in my hands. The soothing silence was helping to ease the growing ache in my head but the incessant coughing wasn't letting up. Suddenly, my pager started beeping and I groaned, putting my hot drink down and speed walking to Bailey. I was almost in the patient's room when I spotted Mark coming out of another room a few doors down and I quickly leaped into a supply closet before he could see me. I really loved Mark but he didn't need to see me when I was all runny nosed and coughing like a diseased hag. I waited 20 seconds, counting in my head before opening the door again and checking the coast was clear. It was so I walked out and over to Bailey's patient's room where she stood, talking to him about his upcoming surgery. She shot me daggers when I entered the room and I mouthed a sorry before explaining to Mr Morrison the risks. At lunchtime, I had just finished with a code blue, hoping to head to a dark, quiet space away from distractions. I was just stepping around a corner when I bumped into a solid chest, immediately apologising before looking up to see who it was. "Oh, Mark." I said, scanning the area to look for a way out and avoiding his gorgeous eyes. "Sorry about that Y/N, seems I have a knack for bumping into pretty women going for their lunch." I nodded absent-mindedly, trying to get away. "Right yeah urm I need to go." I said, going to walk past Mark but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "Woah woah woah what's the matter?" He asked, instantly concerned at my dismissal of his flirting. "Nothing." I said and he shook his head, bending his head down to meet my averting gaze. "You said that earlier." Mark continued, both hands now on my arms as he kept me still. "mm." I hummed, staring at the wall behind Mark. "You sure you're okay, you look a bit like your going to throw up." He said, concern lacing his voice. "No Im fine." I said, smiling weakly before scooting off down the halls leaving a worried plastic surgeon behind. For the rest of the afternoon, I sat on the bottom floor filling out charts. My headache and coughs had been getting progressively worse to the point where I could barely move due to my body aching so much. Luckily I wasn't in any surgeries today and Bailey hadn't been so much on my heels today although Mark had paged me a few times to the Attending room which I ignored. He had spotted me earlier after Mer had wanted me in the research room but I had run down the halls back here before he could catch me. I knew it was only a matter of time before he sought me out. I was almost done filling out the last chart when the door swung open and a familiar head of peppered hair came through the doors. I cringed inwardly and tried to make myslef as small as possible in the gap between the two hospital beds. I waited, trying to control my laboured breathing as he walked nearer, calling out my name. I closed my eyes shut as he closed in on my position. "Y/N?" Mark asked as he spotted my feet poking out from between the two beds. I winced at his voice and he ducked down, crouching in front of me and placing a hand on each of my bent knees. "Y/N?" He asked again and I opened my eyes. He sucked in a breath and immediately tried to bring me closer to him but I groaned. "No please Mark it hurts." I whispered, my voice just a croak. "Jesus Y/N you look like a ghost." Mark said, his face serious and eyes kind. I tried to smile but I couldn't manage, my head flaring up with every movement. Mark gathered the charts I had lying around me and placed them on the nearby bed before squatting back down. "Hey let's get you out of here." He softly said, but I shook my head, sniffling and wincing at the ache. "Come on, I'll help you." He continued, placing a hand on my warm cheek. I looked into his eyes and gave in, nodding slightly. Mark wrapped an arm around my waist and put another on my hip as he helped lift me up, careful to not be to rough. "That's it." He softly spoke, my hands resting on his upper arms for support. As soon as I was standing he brought me into his chest, resting his head on top of mine and stroking my back softly. I closed my eyes and breathed in his comforting scent, relaxing into the warmth. I felt Mark's hand smooth my hair and kiss the top of my head before he whispered, "Why didn't you tell me you were ill?" He stepped back slightly but still held me close, looking into my eyes. "I didn't want to bother you, it's not that bad." I replied, slightly shaky. "Y/N..." Mark said, brushing my hair behind my ear and cupping my face. "What bother's me is not knowing your ill and not being able to help." He said, bringing me back into his arms. "Im sorry." I said, nuzzling into his neck. "It's okay, let's get you into bed." Mark replied, kissing my forehead. Mark had ended up persuading me to go to his house, and I was currently stood in his bathroom, a towel wrapped around me. The steam from the hot shower had freed up my nose a little but the throbbing in my head hadn't let up yet. I walked into Mark's bedroom, rubbing my eyes. "Hey." Mark smirked, making me open my eyes to see his stupid self standing there with a cheeky grin as his eyes ran up and down my body. "My eyes are up here." I said quietly, making him chuckle and a small smile come across my face. "You know I think my towel on you is my new favourite look of yours." Mark said as he watched me walk across the carpeted floor to him. I narrowed my eyes at him and sniffled, holding onto the white fluffy towel that just surpassed my bum tightly. "If I wasn't so ill right now Sloan, I'd punch that pretty little grin off of your face." I hissed, taking the sweatpants and tshirt out of his hands. "Oh so you think I'm pretty then?" Mark teased, eyes still wandering. "Piss off." I said, watching Mark as he smirked wider and I headed into the bathroom again, closing the door. When I had managed to pull the black tshirt on, I looked at the sweatpants and groaned, resenting having to struggle into another item of huge clothing. It was worse than putting leggings on after swimming. I had panties on and Mark's tshirt came down to my mid thigh so I unlocked the door, hoping Mark had a pair of shorts I could wear. As soon as I stepped out, Mark sat up on the bed, eyes raking my body yet again. "Jeez Y/N you think you were trying to kill a man." He said as I walked towards him, cradeling the sweatpants. I was exhausted and couldn't think of any remark so just stuck my hands out, extending the sweatpants to Mark. "I'm too tired to put them on." I said quietly before a violent cough coursed through my body. "Okay come here." Mark said and sat me down on the bed, taking the sweatpants. I expected him to walk off to get some shorts but he crouched down in front of me and lifted my ankle into the cuff of the sweatpants. I blushed and muttered, "thanks." Mark just grinned and winked cheekily, making my face flush even more. He brought the sweatpants to my knees before asking me to stand up which I did. He went to take them up further and started lifting the tshirt before I grabbed his hands. "I think I can do the rest." I said softly, rolling my eyes at Mark's constant dirty flirting. "Worth a try." He remarked, brushing the hair out my face. Once I had gotten the sweatpants on and had gulped down 2 glasses of water and some medicine, I walked back from the hallway to Mark's room, seeing him lying in the bed with his pyjamas on. I yawned and smiled sleepily. "Gonna come join me missy?" He asked, flicking the duvet off to reveal his tartan clad legs and comfy bed. I nodded, dragging myself to the other side of the bed and climbing in before resting next to Mark. He chuckled and lifted me slightly, laying my head down on his chest and wrapping my arm around his waist while he hugged mine. I sighed contently and snuggled into his warming body, letting waves of sleepiness wash over me, lulling me to sleep. Mark turned the bedside light off and kissed the top of my head, whispering, "Night love." I smiled and closed my eyes, drifting off. 

[nakedmossy]

Depth Over Distance - Part Eleven  [Rudy x Reader]

[A/N: Welcome back. Short chapter to get me back into it. Sorry I was away so long, I needed to find myself again. Took longer than expected but that’s life. Its not always sunshine and roses, sometimes its cloudy skies and roots that trip you up. As long as you have the courage to carry on and the hope that tomorrow will be better, then you’re already doing more than you did yesterday. Be calm, be kind, be safe...Mossy x]  

You woke up slowly, without opening your eyes, and listened to the rhythmic sound of Rudy’s breathing beside you. You were laying somewhere soft - the couch maybe - and the air was warm and smelled of burning cedar and cologne. You felt your chest tighten and the urgent need to inhale, to circulate oxygen to your limbs, to stretch. You started with your toes, feet, then your legs, and inhaled deeply into a yawn as you moved your arms out from under a blanket.

“Hey” You heard Rudy’s voice, low and gravelly, itching with concern. You felt his hand float around your hair, softly brushing the top of your head. The corner of your mouth twitched as you started to open your eyes, the soft glow of the fire casting shadows around the room, Rudy’s wild hair and broad shoulders silhouetted in front of you.

“Hey, Y/N, slow down” A firm hand pressed into your shoulder as you tried to sit forward. Gently coaxing you back, he brought a glass of water to your lips and helped you sip until you had cleared the dry lump in your throat. Licking your lips, you felt the words form in your mouth.

“I’m still mad at you”

Rudy laughed, deep and sharp, his head dropping between his shoulder blades, before his gaze found yours. You saw candles reflected in his eyes which were wet with tears, his brow furrowed and his mouth tight. The afternoon sun shone through the window and you could hear the light patter of rain on the roof.

“You gotta stop scaring me like that” He said quietly, his hand still brushing your hair lightly away from your face.

“You gotta start telling the truth” You rebutted without missing a beat. “The whole truth” you added when his face eluded to a forthcoming retort.

He pursed his lips and nodded in resignation once before leaning forward and standing up, walking past you into the kitchen.

You moved your head around slowly, stretching your neck and wincing whenever your forehead pulled at the cut. The fire was crackling gently and the embers danced around and up into the chimney, sparking and caressing the darkness. You relaxed into the couch again, thinking back to the conversation you had had with Rudy before you collapsed. The fog set in again, the dark nagging in the pit of your stomach. You heard his words repeating in your head like a broken record; its not mine, its not mine, its not mine. Your stomach turned; you were going to be sick.

You stood as quickly as you could, tossing the blanket to the side, and scrambled towards the bathroom clutching your stomach. You barely made it to the doorway before you began to retch into the sink. Rudy called your name once from the kitchen before you heard him outside the bathroom. You kicked the door shut and held it closed with your leg, gripping either side of the sink with sweaty palms.

“Go away” you called between gasps, spitting saliva into the sink. You grabbed the jug of water from below the sink once you were sure the wave had passed and rinsed the basin out. It took a few moments before you could look at yourself in the mirror and wipe your mouth clean, you were so tired.

A gentle knock at the door reminded you Rudy was outside. You swallowed once more before taking a deep breath and turning the handle, pulling the door slowly open. Rudy took a step back and let you walk out, waiting patiently for you to gather yourself.

“I’m fine. Sorry” You said quietly, unmoving. He swallowed once and looked at the bathroom, then back to you.

“I think we need to go back to the hospital.” He was more telling than asking.

“I’m fine. Its just....its been a lot.” You motioned around you at the last 72 hours in general. “I just need...some time to recover.”

“Y/N...” He started, but you put your hands up in protest.

“Rudy. Listen to me for once, I’m not dying. I’ve had a concussion before. I know what to expect.”

He pursed his lips and set his jaw, looking over your head and taking a breath before looking back at you.

“You feeling up for a walk then? I think we could both use the air.”

You nodded slowly and let your breath out before motioning towards the bedroom where your clothes still laid in a pile on the floor. Slipping your wool socks on and pulling a sweater gingerly over your head, you felt yourself let out a small laugh at how bizarre this whole week had been since Rudy showed up. You didn’t know if your life would ever be the same. In some ways you hoped it wouldn’t be, but you needed some sense of normality back.

When you stepped out onto the porch to slip your boots on you noticed that there was a fresh stack of firewood piled in the box under the window, and the axe was stuck into the flesh of the chopping block. You inhaled deeply, revelling at the smell of the wet earth and the steam rising from the mossy ground below you and the fresh cut cedar. Behind you Rudy clicked the door closed and zipped up his vest, his muscular arms covered by a tight base layer.

“Creek?” He asked quietly, you nodded and followed him down the stairs towards the trail that lined the creek bed and wound towards a break in the forest.

You both remained silent for a few moments before the moisture in the air lifted something from your chest and tickled your throat. You coughed once, your eyes pinching shut from the throbbing pain in your head at the onset of pressure. Rudys hand found yours and squeezed it tightly.

“So” You said after clearing your throat. “Are you gonna tell me the whole story now or do I have to wait another 3 days and get in another accident?”

You smiled as you said it, coyly, but Rudy struggled to do anything but cringe.

“What story, exactly?”

“At the party, your welcome home party, when we were standing in the parking lot by the fence. I asked you to tell me about Anna, and you said very distinctly ‘she’s just my manager, that’s it’. And I told you we would talk about it another time, and that you were a terrible liar.”

Rudy scoffed in recognition and smiled quietly, looking at the tree cover. “I remember”

“Well, now is that time.”

His strong shoulders stiffened a little and he walked with more vigour than he had before. You struggled to keep pace with him, catching your toe on roots and debris every few steps and swinging your arms to quicken yourself.

“I wasn’t happy. I’ll premise all of this by saying that.” He started, his voice tight. “I was working, I had a steady income, I was doing exactly what I set out to do....but” he shook his head lightly, his hair swaying in your peripherals. “...it didn’t matter because no matter how much I worked or how hard I partied or how much money I made, I had a void I couldn’t fill.”

You looked over at him and noticed that his pace was quickening again, now you were half jogging to stay beside him.

“I was lonely and nobody noticed, or cared.” He paused, his face flushed. “Anna did.”

You stayed quiet, observing his face, trying to keep your breathing from becoming panting, but you were starting to get dizzy.

“She was a temporary distraction. A way to pass the time. It sounds awful, but...shit, sorry” He put his arm out to slow you and calmed down from the aggressive speed he was ambling down the path. “Sorry.”

You shook your head and caught your breath, holding on to his arm as a wave of dizziness passed. When you nodded and started walking again he matched your pace, slightly behind you.

“Anyways, yeah. I knew it wasn’t serious, I was in it for the wrong reasons. We kept everything quiet, just went on a few dates and made them look like meetings....it was fun for 5 minutes. When I started to notice she was taking it seriously I backed off. Or tried to. It was messy and she started to threaten me, said she would tell everyone that I took advantage of her and that it was non-consensual, which of course was total bullshit but she was smart and she knew how to talk to people and she wouldn’t have had any problem ruining my career, my life. So I left.”

You took stock of what he had said and waited a few moments before speaking. The creek was loud beside you now, the water smooth over twigs and rocks, bubbling in the back-eddy’s, crashing over the shoreline. You heard a bird overhead and listened to the sound of thunder off in the distance. The sky was grey but the storm would pass around you, you knew these skies well.

“Rudy I am so, so sorry.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, turning to fully face him. “This is....”

“...a mess” He finished for you, nodding and looking around, his arms crossed and his muscles causing the fabric to stretch. You wanted to hug him, hit her, and burn the whole damn city of LA to the ground for the shit storm he found himself in.

“What did she say to your dad?”

“She lied, naturally. Tried to tell them that the kid was mine and that she would take me to court if I didn’t pay child support.” His face was reddening and his jawline flexed. You felt dizzy again, but focussed on deep breathing. “She’s trying to refuse a paternity test.”

Your gut twisted and you reached out to touch Rudy's arm, but he flinched and turned away. Confused, you withdrew your arm and waited.

"Sorry." He muttered, pinching his eyes shut and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Im sorry. Come here"

He pulled you into a hug and rested his chin on top of your head.

"I just don't feel good about any of this. I dragged you into my shit and look what happened."

"Don't do that" you started, trying to pull away. The scent of Rudy mixed with the smell of the trees and wet earth was heady and intoxicating. He squeezed you tighter.

"Its the truth. I thought I could run away from this and I can't. It followed me here, to you. And i'm sorry for that."

"Im not." You said finally, pushing back far enough so you could see his face. “I’m not at all. I’m happy you came home.” The word ‘home’ sat heavily between you, littering the air with connotation. “You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”

He frowned, unwillingly to accept your offer of companionship, still stuck in the deeply rooted feeling he had hurt you.

“Look at me” You said sternly, your voice sharp. He looked briefly, then looked away, so you lifted your hand to his face and forced his gaze back to you. “You’re not going through this alone. I notice, I care, and...I mean assuming you’re not going to get in your truck and leave me here to become bear bait....Im not letting you go through this by yourself. I will...I don’t know...politely ask her to pound sand and eat a dick if you need me to....or-”

“HA” He barked a laugh suddenly before grabbing your hand from his cheek and bringing it to his chest. “You’re ridiculous. But thank you.” He said genuinely. “Seriously.”

You stood in a contented silence for a few moments before he spoke again.

“Lets head back. I want to have a fire tonight.” He smiled, grabbing your hand.

“I saw.” You cooed before squeezing his hand back, falling in beside him.

The air was cooling and the sun was low, setting below the tree line. The air felt cleaner, clearer, easier to breathe. You walked in silence, both of you equally enjoying the peace that you found in the old growth forest. The soft packed earth below your feet like a wet sponge, the trees strongly shading you from the moisture packed clouds above. Something settled in you, set in your chest, calmed you. You felt happy.

_____________________________________

Tag List: @sunshinemadds​ @bluebirdsbluebells​​, @lovelymaybankk​, @poguestyleskye​, @alexa-playafricabytoto​, @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​, @k-k0129​, @kimyeon-tae​, @ellystone​, @faded-blue​, @thebeautifulbookworm, @heypearce, @jjsthumbring, @poguesrforlife, @timotaychalabae​, @infinityspacesuniverse, @judayyyw, @nelebynele​, @p0gues4l​, @annedub, @justagirlpostingwhatsheloves​, @rudyypankow​, @thegeekyblondegirlwholovesstars​, @cocoopalace, @toribentleyva, @lennoxcobain, @runway-to-my-aid. @otrbnks, @jjtheangel, @thehomeiknow @lenaandcalliope, @rudths, @hopelesswritingxd, @timotaychalabae, @outerbanksbro, @otrbnks, @eclecticpuppyhollywoodhumanoid, @obx-saltlife, @perfektionsmakel @fanofmany @jeyramarie @sarapixieelliott08@lemur46

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Would you be willing to write a scenario about Kai's s/o going in to labor and the delivery? Maybe just Kaito?

Lets give plague doctor more heart attacks :D

Honestly? You deserved at minimun a pat on your back, because carrying a child is not easy... and aparently carrying a Chisaki inside you was equal to hell.

Deadly cramps, torturous nauseas and dear lord even comenting the word 'peas' left you wanting to pull all of your stomach out.... all of this for exactly seven months and a half already.

The baby was surely a fighter. His kicks were dead ass strong and ever time it was a bad one, you would wince in pain while supporting yourself on somewhere.

This baby was going to knock you out at some point...

Ever time Kai notice that this was happening he would place his entire gloved and scold his unborn child.

'Not even in here and are already causing trouble brat? Be good to your mother or we might have trouble.'

It was always in that same no emotions present tone of voice of his but you could see the genuine adoration in those usual cold golden eyes.

Although today you were feeling quite... normal.

No deadly kicks, neither the urge to puke ans surprisingly your feets weren't sore!

What a great day!

You got up from your chair to grab something to eat as you carresed slightly your belly on the way.

Although when you were already half the hall you started to feel dizzy and had to support yourself omwith one hand on the wall.

"Woah not looking great there miss. You good?" You heard Mimic's voice but when you looked down you just saw a black blur.

"Y-Yeah..." you took a shaky step "I guess."

"You guess?" Mimic spoke in sarcasm while Chrono coincidentally entered. Irinaka pointed to you for Kurono to see as he also made a slightly concerned face.

Before the man could ask what was going on, you felt as if a hammer had hit you in the gut while you howled in pain, no longer holding back the discomfort or the recent, unbearable pain.

Chrono and Mimic were immediately on your side when you almost fell to the ground. In your mind passes a thought that scared you to no ends and just to confirm you lowered your hand lower to push it back to see that your terrors were true.

Blood and other fluid... your water bag broke... The baby was coming earlier.

You let out a bloody scream at seing this and another joilt of pain came into you.

"ShIT ShE'S DyInG?!"

"Of course fucking not Irinaka! Shut up!" Chrono went to lend you a shoulder but you stopped him.

"K-Kurono... P-Please... K-Kai.. H-Here." You said between breaths, trying to stal calm since you knew this was going to stress the fuck out of everyone... especially Chisaki.

Hari didn't even objected and ran looking for Chisaki as Irinaka came back into his human form to at least see if it helps.

"Breath chick, you're a fucking fighter to carry that little shit."

"MIMIC!" you shouted and the man apologized at seing the anger in your eyes.

~

Chisaki was currently looking at the medicals exams of his unborn son along with the first ultrasound picture. The boy was going to be here soon and after a very long time he felt anxious.

He flinched at the way the door of his office hitted the wall as Chrono shouted his name.

"What the hell Chrono? Lost your manners?" He said darkly while placing the documents inside of his drawer.

"(Y/N)." He said while pointing at your direction "She's bleeding."

In one blink of Kurono's eyes Chisaki was already running through the house while placing his mask up.

Shit. What had happened?! Were you okay?!

"Angel." He called, ignoring his horror at seing the state you were in, and kneeled on the floor.

"Baby... coming." You breath out while jolting in pain again.

Damn those contractions

He cringed at your whines but ignored his own discomfort and scooped you up in his arms in bridal style as he shouted for a precept to clean ths mess as long for Chrono to get the fuck in the car.

Mimic swore he saw the walls trembling.

~

"Count to ten angel." He said monoustly but the way his hands tremble slightly and the hint of desperation in his eyes told everthing.

You screamed as the car suddenly roughly spun aside, the last drop of patience on your husband completely gone.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT CHRONO?!"

"IM SORRY BUT A GUY ALMOST HITTED THE FUCKING CAR AND COULD HAVE KILLED US YOU KNOW?!" Poor Hari was consumed by both you and Overhaul's desperation.

"Oh my god both oF YOU SHUT UP!" You shouted causing both of them to be completly silent all the ride to the hospital.

He was going to talk to you about that later, but maybe it was a understatement since you were giving birth at this point.

~

Kurono had to hold back Chisaki when a bunch of nurses just pulled you out of Kai's arms and a doctor told him to wait outside.

His wife was giving birth to his soon son and he was supposed to wait OUTSIDE YOU FILFH UNPROFESSIONAL BASTARD?!

When a nurse came to Chrono, asking for him to get out of the room since only it was allowed the father, he arched one eyebrow at her and pointed with his palm at a very furious Chisaki, silently saying 'Im the one keeping the beast calm, you sure about that?'.

The nurse just gave him a apologetic look before, with the nerves on their skin of talking to a dangerous man of the yakusa, calling Overhaul.

The way Chisaki looked at them could be described as murderous and if he had a laser vision quirk the poor nurse would be already dead on the spot.

"I-I'm sorry! But you can enter now." She bowed apologetically while indicating the door for Chisaki.

He didn't even acknowledge her as he entered the room abruptly, ignoring many looks of the doctors and just making a bee line at you.

Despite your eyebags and squirming in pain figurine, you still manage to look angelic... just incredible.

"Angel, it's almost over." He said monoustly, a mix of pain and relief at seing the way you opened your eyes.

"Kai..." you whispered while crying... your hand desperately hilding the bed sheets as you cried out...

"Dad hold her hand!" A male nurse suggested and you almost laughed if it wasn't for the torturous pain you were in.

Someone was trying to give others to Chisaki? Your Chisaki Kai? Great joke.

Chisaki narrowed his eyes at the man befofe cringing at seing you crying again... you were in so much pain but yet refused to just grab his hand because you knew him.

He suddenly left to a quick bathroom and picked a hand sanitizer and a handkerchief.... the scene was almost comic to the doctors and nurses. A soon to be father wipping his wife's hand before holding it onto his gloved one.

"You don't change do you?" You whispered while smilling at him, pure appreciation and love on your eyes as you looked into those beautiful golden ones that you had fallen with.

"Why should I?" He said monotonously but you could see the hints of a smile behind that black face mask of his.

His hand suddenly cracked at your strenght as you turned your head away from him to muffle your screams.

...ouch.

The doctors were surprised because they LISTENED to his hand cracking and he was just... there. He suddenly glared at them with pire hate as his words spilled from his kouth like venom.

"Bunch of incompetents, my wife is having a kid and you just stand there without doing nothing? Move and help her before I lose my pacience bunch of filfh." They flinched before returning to their activities whiel Kai scoffed 'sicks' under his breath.

Your screams had stopped and your grip on his hand released, putting the pieces together he looked up and saw a tiny creature on the arms of one nurse.

"You did it." He amused out loud while you only let out a sleep deprived 'yay' before closing your eyes as you tried to catch your breath.

He picked the handkerchief and wiped your forehead gently before looking down at you.

"You're sweaty..."

"No shit sherlock I just gave birth." You said between breaths and giggles receiving a pinch on your arm along with a scoff of his.

"W-Why isn't he crying?" You suddenly breath out.

Shit. Is true. He haven't heard his son cries. He looked uo already with anger before he saw the doctor bringing a white blanket and handing rubbing the face of your new born to you.

"See mommy? Your baby is fine." He felt butterflies forming inside his stomach at seing the little boy face in contact with yours... you smilling tiredly but still manage to open your eyes to look at your son.

"Kaito... is so nice to meet you.." you teared up at seing your baby for the first time... he had his father looks.

He punched his chest to prevent any hints of despicable tears fron falling from his eyes but it was really damn difficult... Luckily he managed to stay with his stoic face at least.

The moment though he saw you closing your eyes he internally panicked.

"Angel." He grabbed your face and shook slightly, checking your pulse with his other hand and sighing in relief at feeling your heartbeat on his fingers.

"She is just tired, will come back as soon as she recuperates... would you like to hold your son mister?"

He eyed the doctor in suspicion before choosing to only look at his son, eyes secretly telling how much he was willing to do for this little one already.

"Place him on the crib for now. I want my wife to see the scene, she wouldn't leave me alone after knowing that I holded my son without her seing it." He spoke crudely amd coldly at the doctor bit they didn't seemed to mind at first.

The doctor nodded in understatement before placing the kid carefilly down on the crib, right besides Kai as he sitted on the edge of the bed... holding your hand in his gloved ones.

He took a glance at his sleeping son and decided to just carres the tip of his thumb on the chubby cheek.

He swore the kid just smiled at the contact... a simple contact... but it was rather a nice feeling.

"I made this brat..." he mused out loud for himself before smirking down at his son and bringing your freahly washed head to rest on him instead of the pillows of the hospital.

"Welcome to this world... Chisaki Kaito."

[moonlightkitkat]

ML:NYS reaction

Here’s my set of reactions from when I was watching the special, I wrote it all while I was watching. It’s a little scatterbrained lol

The opening is so pretty!

MR. PIGEON AGAIN? 

COSMO BUG AND ASTRO BUG?!

AWWW THE YELLOW ROSE THAT'S SO CUTE!

THAT'S SO CUTE! 

Oh this interaction is adorable! The wholesomeness!

YES GIVE YOURSELF FLOWERS.

But oh my god I had to pause because this is what I love! Chat can show affection and care about her, but I love how he’s taking her feelings into the gift he brings. He knows that she doesn’t want anything with romantic connotations because it’s leading him on, so instead he offers a rose of friendship, a truce. And I love how after hearing this, Ladybug immediately warms up and accepts, thanking him and offering kind words as well. I’m two minutes in and I already love this. 

Also the animation is so pretty!!

Oh Marinette no.. not the photos.. not the excuses.. ;-;

Yes Tikki hold her accountable!

HAMILTON BUT WITH SOCK PUPPETS???

NO CHLOE WHAT?! 

Oh thank god I wanted my Chloe here

NO BUSTIER YES

SHE'S PREGNANT?! Oh that poor baby

EW LILA’S HERE

No no no no no no n no no no no Marinette please stop, please oh my god I’m dying on the inside

YOU'RE OUR SOCK WASHINGTON

EVERYDAY LADYBUG AND SOCK WASHINGTON IS BEST SHIP

Oh my god she put his perfume on her pillow? Why? Why have her do this.

LAFAYETTE

HE WAS A MIRACULOUS USER WHAT

Oh my god she pulled a Twilight Sparkle and ranted about the power of friendship

DID HE JUST SIT THROUGH HER RANT

Oh I know he’s lying but oh that’s such a sweet thing to say.

Gabriel why are you a JERK

KAGAMI

AWWW SMOOCH

That’s so cute! I love that!

NO THE SINGING

Marinette no ;-;

THE KITTY ALARM AWWW

THAT'S SO CUTE

OH THATS FIC MATERIAL RIGHT THERE

“I’m as serious as it can get.” *squeak*, giggles. That’s adorable

OH NO GORILLA HAS A FEAR OF FLYING

PLAGG

THE WIGGLY PAWS

I-I’m actually shocked that Ladybug didn’t think of that

 That’s pretty smart Adrien.

I’m still creeped out by the Snow White like case Emilie is in

LUKA LUKA LUKA LUKA LUKAAAAAA

Oh no she’s ranting about Adrien I’m crying 

HIS SMILE AT HER

AWWW SWEETHEART

A SMOOCH

Oh this is definitely fic material

Oh Marinette does not look happy about seeing Adrien 

Chloe’s arrival is amazing 

THE HORROR MOVIE SCREAM 

Alya what the heck

Oh god Marinette no

Oh my hands are crInging-NO HE FELL ON HER

ALYA WHY

Okay that art is adorable but Marinette looks terrified

Wooowwww the manipulation there lol, nice job class

Oh thank goodness, 

“YOU ARE A DOLPHIN”

Oh poor Marinette

Ivan and Mylene are cuddling!

Wow Marinette is tiny

Awww DjWifi snuggles

JULROSE

wait why didn’t Mari sit with Rose?

Oh poor Marinette ;-;

Bro she’s physically uncomfortable, why would you move closer?

Oh that’s so cute-nevermind

Same Alya

Same Nino

They’re adorable but I hate this

NO THE HUG

SHE'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE WHY WOULD YOU HUG HER

I’m sorry WHAT

captain Marvel??

Alya is such a nerd I love her

A BOMB?!

Wair, do actual superheroes exist in this universe? Why hasn’t anyone shown up to help Paris??

KS THAT A PEPSI BRAND BUS

wow the cat based pun

“Lil croissants on route,” that’s CUTE

NO HER STUFF

Oh it was just puppets

OH SHE'S PRETTY

Jess, yes I like her

Is she an actual AI?

SABRINA AWWW

Oh poor Sabrina ;-;

Nice reflexes 

Oh no

THE CARTOON SLOW HEAD TURN 

Oh now this is adorable, I like the soft music playing in the background 

EW HE SNUCK TO HER ROOM 

Hot dog Dan?

IS THAT A SUPERHERO?!

STRONG ROSE

Rapunzel Sabrina???

Aww that's cute 

They’re flying!

HIGH VOICE

THATS HILARIOUS

This is really really cute, but.... aren’t Adrien and Kagami together?

Oh this is such a cute dance

“BEAUTIFUL SUNFLOWER”

Oh Marinette no....

“Repetitive behaviors,” is that a joke about how they never change?

Adrie is definitely in love, but isn’t he with, you know, KAGAMI?!

What on earth is with Jess’s eyebrows?

Wait, I'm sorry are they sending supervillains to trap them in??

Hawkmoth is wearing a seatbelt, that’s hilarious

Did.. did he seriously offer the atomic bomb

Ohhh a hologram

Oh that’s a cool supervillain 

THE POSE SCREEN FOR THE DOOR GUY IM WHEEZING 

HES TRANSFORMING TO SAVE MARI

Did you ... need to transform though? You could have just pushed her out of the way

Theyre so DUMB

Batman? Nope, just Hawkmoth

Oh Ladybug is MAD. Rightfully so though

Oh yes tell him off

Wait, they’ve heard of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Why hasn’t anyone come to help them?

CHAR NOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO

NO OH MY GOD HE KILLED HER

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FOD

CHAT KILLED SOMEONE

YES LADYBUG 

Oh my god she can actually bring people back to life

Ooooo chase scene

Teenage mutant super teens

Oh my god that’s terrifying for what happened to Paris

We are learning a lot about Ladybugs Powers, I’m loving this

HE LEFT HER

CHAT NOIR NO

HE HAS TWO MIRACULOUS NOW?!

A BALD EAGLE FOR FREEDOM 

CAN IT GET MORE AMERICAN

OH THE HAWK PERSON IS A WOMAN

Oh those two are lesbi-OH THEY'RE ACTUALLY LESBIANS

....Wow Zag is having fun with her cleavage AREN'T they?

Oh Marinno ;-;

WHAT THE HECK IS HAWKMOTH DOING

oh this is so sad

I’m getting umbrella scene flashbacks

THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS ALYA

And Marinette being a thief has come back into

MARINETTE

WHY IS THIS SO SAD WHY IS SHE CRYING IN THE STREETS

Why are her boobs so BIG

Is this just proof of how dangerous the DC superheroes are?

Wait these three heroes really are just Superman, Batman, Captain America aren’t they? 

I love the AI’s hair so much, it’s so pretty

Wow Jess was won over so quickly

JESS HAS A SKATEBOARD TO TRAGEL WOW I LOVE IT

THE MOON??

All powerful magic? Useless against a simple AI

Wow he was won over quickly.. is he just really impulsive? That’s.. really not the best quality in a superhero who has the power to destroy whatever he touches.

Plagg that’s TOO CUTE

Wow I am So impressed by Jess

Awww hug

She forgave him a little too easily 

HE THREATENED A WORLD WAR?

AND PEOPLE STILL DEFEND GABRIEL?

THIS MAN IS A CHILD ABUSER, A TERRORIST, AND NOW A WAR CRIMINAL?!

He lost his TAIL

Sparrow is transforming into an Eagle I love this

Ooooooooooooo I love her use of the power

Wow he legitimately s-YES ATTA GIRL

h-how did that reach the sun so fast

I thought Chat hit the guy and not the cuffs and I had a heart attack

You’ve known her for less than a day and you trust her with a miraculous?? Wait, they know all about the miraculous?? But how?

Also I’m really happy that we have an ingenious superhero! I’m really happy that her costume isn’t sexual used, and isn’t a LEOTARD

I’m really curious about what actual ingenious people think about her as a character and her uniform

Wait, she has dreamcatchers for earrings?

Why is she looking so buff in that suit

Oh? Is this a teaser for the Shanghai episode?

BATWINGS

Oh that’s such a cute little banner for Adrien

SABRINA YOU'RE A SWEETHEART

“BIG PUFFY CLOUD”

WAIT THEY LEFT GORILLA NO

OH YES MORE GUARDIANS 

That is a very underwhelming entrance and speech. Talk about rushed how did he say that with one BREATH

HE WAS SWAYED THAT EASILY?

[ckret2]

Medical Research

SPOILERS FOR DETECTIVE PIKACHU!! Even the summary has spoilers I ain’t kidding.

Fandom: Pokémon, Detective Pikachu movie Characters: Mewtwo, Harry Goodman, Detective Pikachu but he doesn’t do much Words: 2600 Summary: How, exactly, did Harry Goodman get Mewtwo into PCL? He certainly didn’t capture the most powerful Pokémon in the world. The only possibility is that he persuaded Mewtwo to go. But what would persuade Mewtwo, whose first conscious act was to blast its way out of a scientific lab full of gene experimenting, to willingly walk into one? Notes: Call me Babe Ruth.

"Medical research!"

Mewtwo froze, glowing hand outstretched toward the floating human's chest—still poised to blast him halfway to the northeast Kanto coast with a single mental flex. A Pikachu was clinging to his shirt, huddling over his heart with eyes squeezed shut.

Slowly, Mewtwo's hand stopped glowing. But it didn't let go yet. "Explain."

The human gasped in a breath as the pressure Mewtwo was exerting on his body to keep him floating loosened, then automatically kicked his legs as if trying to stay aloft as he felt gravity take hold of him again. Mewtwo wasn't going to drop him. Not yet, anyway.

"J—just outside Ryme City, in Sinnoh," the human said. "There's a lab! They want—"

Mewtwo's skin prickled at the word lab. "I am not interested in being experimented on by humans again." It raised its hand. The human yelped as he jerked another few feet in the air.

"Listen to him!" the Pikachu cried. "He's not here to hurt you, I promise! Please!"

Mewtwo hesitated, ruminating on the Pikachu's request. The pair had approached it with words instead of attacks, and with none of the complicated machinery designed to entrap and ensnare that the likes of Team Rocket and their many subsequent bounty hunters tended to throw at it. Mewtwo could have chalked it up to cockiness—but the human wasn't even carrying poké balls. Not even one for the Pikachu. The only machinery he had on him was a cell phone.

They weren't here to catch it.

Slowly, Mewtwo lowered the pair—and then dropped them, from three feet up, to the muddy bank of the Cerulean River. The human landed hard and groaned; Pikachu squealed in surprise.

"Very well. I will listen," Mewtwo said. "Explain your research—and why I should want anything to do with it."

"Nnh..." The human sat up, lifted his arms, and grimaced at the mud covering them from elbow down. "Not—not my research. I was—hired, by the guy funding it. You've heard of Howard Clifford?"

"No."

"Ahh. Great. Well, he's uh, he's this—big, idealist philanthropist type guy—it's that whole archetype, the benevolent futurist billionaire thing, you know the type—"

"I do not."

The human stopped, mouth partway open, caught mid-sentence and unsure how to go on now. "Right. Well, I'm—I'm sure you'll meet him, if you decide you want to come. Anyway, he wants to make medicine from the genes of Pokémon, that can be used on both humans and different Pokémon. Stuff like, uh, uh... identifying the genes that are altered when Wailmer turns into Wailord, and injecting them into Grotle so they get way, way larger when they evolve."

Mewtwo tilted its head. "Why would they do that?"

The human opened his mouth. Then stopped with his mouth open again, brow furrowed, and thought about that. "You know, I—I don't actually... know why they did that. I think I was, uh, busy gawking at the ginormous Torterra when they explained the whole... purpose, of that specific project."

It didn't matter, ultimately. Mewtwo's skin was prickling again, at this talk of genes shuffling between Pokémon as casually as scavengers trading berries, and its instincts were telling it to go hide.

Hide where, though? The human had done what few others had done before: tracked Mewtwo down to its hidden sanctuary, an unobtrusive mountain cave hiding in the shadow of Mt. Moon. Mewtwo's fault for being so being so merciful to other explorers who'd passed through. If it showed mercy to this one as well—and, at this point, it supposed, it would—then its location would be known to this benevolent futurist billionaire the human had mentioned, and who knew how many others would be sent after it. And soon Team Rocket would learn of its location again. This sanctuary was no longer safe for Mewtwo—and it wouldn't be safe for any of the other Pokémon in it, either, if Mewtwo didn't leave it behind for good.

For a moment, Mewtwo was furious at the human for discovering it.

It forced itself not to act on its rage. But the Pikachu sensed the rage all the same, fixing Mewtwo with a hard look, his cheeks crackling.

"You have accomplished a feat that very few humans have ever achieved, in tracking me down on purpose," Mewtwo said. "To have done so, you must know a great deal about me. You must know what I am—what I come from."

The human hesitated, the nodded. "Little—little island near Cinnabar, right? A cloning experiment? Sponsored by a gym leader with ties to organized crime."

"I am far beyond a mere 'cloning experiment.' Tell me: do I look like a Mew?"

"Well, I can't say I've ever seen a Mew, but—" The human stared at Mewtwo for a long moment, taking in its height, its oddly fused fingers, its strange bony sternum, its misshapen double neck, "—but no, you... don't exactly look like the cave art."

"I am Pokémon gene splicing. I am what happens when humans try to improve upon Pokémon—when humans snip DNA apart like so many little lengths of rope and knot them back together. I should not be."

"Hey now, that's pretty harsh on yourself—"

"And there should not be other things like me," Mewtwo said firmly. "I do believe you both came here with good intentions. But your intentions mean nothing in the face of the abominations you're asking for."

The human stared at Mewtwo a moment longer, hard—this time, not like he was taking in its body, but like he was looking for something deeper. Mewtwo didn't like that look. It felt... penetrating.

"Hey." The human's voice was softer now. "Listen." He slowly got to his feet, brushing excess mud off his rear. Pikachu scampered up to his shoulder and settled there. "You've... you've had bad experiences with humans. Especially humans in labs. Especially especially humans in labs talking about genes. I get that. I understand why you wouldn't want to go back to one. I wouldn't blame you or judge you in the slightest for completely rejecting anybody coming up to you to talk about anything that's got to do with humans in labs with genes." He paused. "But I hope you'll consider not rejecting it. Because there's a lot of people and Pokémon out there, right now, every day, suffering—from injuries they won't recover from, from diseases we don't have cures to—and the Pokémon Comprehensive Laboratory in Ryme City is trying to change that. You can't im—"

He stopped, face twisting, swallowed hard; Pikachu fussed with his hair for a moment until he'd collected himself. "You can't imagine what it's like," he said, voice hoarser than it had been just a moment earlier, "what it's like, watching someone you love—waste away, and die. From an illness that there's no cure for yet."

Telepath though Mewtwo was, it had never been much of a mind reader; and what skill it had once possessed had atrophied to nothing under Team Rocket's tender care. It was a very weak empath at best. But it didn't need to be strong to feel the sudden miasmas of decade-old grief leaking from the human, like poisonous gas from a Koffing's craterous pores.

It drifted closer to the human, equal parts intrigued and pitying, feet inches above the muddy riverbank. "You speak from experience?"

The human shrugged with his un-Pikachu-occupied shoulder. "Do you know what cancer is?"

"I've been told I am a cancer," Mewtwo said. "A Mew who's more tumor than healthy tissue."

The human let out a startled laugh. "Well—that shows you can survive it, right? That's more than most people can say. Imagine what that would be like—being made of cancer, but never dying from it." He sniffed hard, shook his head, and collected himself again. "Listen, I uh—I didn't come to talk about my life. Sorry. But—Howard's poured a lot of money, manpower, and poképower into tracking you down. And he's done it all because he believes, sincerely believes, that something in your genes—your weird, part-prehistoric-demigod, part-manmade-mishmash genes—holds the key to making life a whole lot better for a whole lot of sick folks. I don't get the science behind it, but he's got people who do—and to them, you're not Wailord genes in a Grotle. You're everything."

Mewtwo glanced away from the pair, considering the proposition uneasily. As much as it reviled the thought of returning to another lab... had it not been working, for years, to undo the things that Team Rocket had done to it? The damage that had been done to its soul—if it had such a thing—its mind, if not. For years, now, it had been fighting to unlearn all that Team Rocket had taught it about where a Pokémon's worth comes from, and the supremacy of power, and the dynamic of master and tool between human and Pokémon. Mewtwo was not the same Pokémon that had fled from Viridian City so many years ago.

Maybe it was time, too, to unlearn its fear of white coats and the smell of sterilized steel.

Maybe it was time to see if it could redefine how it saw its own genes—not as slap in the face of the natural order, but as a gift to the world.

It wanted to be a gift.

"I am... proficient, in genetics," Mewtwo confessed. "I have conducted my own experiments in augmented cloning. You've come to ask if I'd offer my body to medicine. I can also offer my mind."

The human blinked at it. "Augmented cl—what, what-what, what kind of augmented cloning?"

Mewtwo cringed in shame. "Enhancing a Pokémon's strength. For battle. Augmenting their innate special powers."

"Wh..." For a moment, the human just stared. "Th—yeah! Yeah, that's—that's fantastic. Hey, the PCL's got some Froakie it tries out all its new discoveries on—Froakie adapt really well to new DNA, apparently—you can show them what you've got, see if they think it's useful?"

Mewtwo nodded hesitantly. "My procedures don't allow for genes to be inserted into already-living Pokémon. I'll have to clone new ones."

"Maybe they'll be able to help you figure out how to put it in living Pokémon? Froakie evolve a couple of times, it should be easy to get the genes in them."

"Perhaps. If they're willing. If they're volunteers." It would have to ask them, personally—all the Pokémon in the facility—if they'd volunteered. If even one hadn't...

"So, that's a yes, right?" the human said. "You're in? Gonna come help make the world a better place?"

"Provided I will be treated like a volunteer, not a test subject," Mewtwo said, "yes. I'm in."

"Yesss." The human performed a slow fist pump.

Pikachu cheered, then beamed up at Mewtwo. "Thank you. You've made my partner really happy."

Partner. Not trainer, nor owner, nor master. "I would not have given him a chance had you not vouched for him." It would not have given a chance to any human who didn't have a human to vouch for them; but it had found that Pikachu tend to be particularly good judges of character.

"Wh— Are you talking to—?" The human pointed to the Pikachu on his shoulder.

"Of course. Did you think I, a Pokémon, am only capable of communicating with humans?"

The human paused. "No! No, of course I didn't. I just, didn't think about— He vouched for me?"

Mewtwo nodded. The human smiled at Pikachu. "Aww. That's the sweetest— Hey, buddy. Fist bump." He held his fist up. Pikachu leaned forward, planting both hands on his knuckles; sparks snapped between them.

"This facility is in Ryme City?" Mewtwo asked. "Can you describe the neighborhood so I can find it? Preferably from a bird's eye view."

"Oh, no, don't worry about— Howard said if I actually found you, he could send a charter flight. We get to ride to Sinnoh in style."

"I see." Rich, ran his own science lab, could summon up airplanes at his convenience... Mewtwo had yet to met this Howard, but it was already uneasy at the thought of his power. It seemed like a very familiar power.

But he wasn't using his power to design the world's most powerful Pokémon; he was using it to cure diseases.

And Mewtwo wasn't going to be one of his possessions; it was going to be a volunteer. A volunteer who had been asked to come, by a human and a Pikachu who'd approached with words instead of weapons. It would be a volunteer. Perhaps even a scientist.

That thought also made it uneasy.

"Ugh, the mud's starting to crust on me." The human shook his hands. Not much mud came off. "You mind if we head back into town so I can wash off in my hotel?"

Mewtwo wasn't fond of the idea of venturing into Cerulean City. It glanced to the side. "There's a river right here."

"Well yeah, but—I don't want to walk back into town with soaking wet pants."

"You could take them off."

The human's face screwed up. "Thaaat's not going to work for a human."

Mewtwo waited for him to explain why. He didn't. Maybe it was an instinct. One must respect other species' instincts, even if one doesn't understand them.

"I will wait, then. At the entrance to the cave." Mewtwo raised higher, preparing to leave for its shelter. It would perhaps be its last opportunity to visit the cave for a long time. "When you're ready to go to Sinnoh, come find me."

"Yeah. Okay." The human nodded. "And—thanks, Mewtwo."

Mewtwo nodded. Then, slowly, spoke: "Thank you. For all of my life, the means of my birth have been a... a burden to overcome. I have lived my life striving to prove that I have worth in spite of how I was made. I think... it will be good to learn whether, despite all the horrors I went through—and committed—some worth can be found in me because of how I was made. I appreciate this opportunity, human."

The human looked surprised. "Wow. That's... You're kind of a deep guy, Mewtwo."

"I have a lot of time to think," it said. "And the most powerful brain on the planet."

The human huffed a laugh. "Hey, before I go—you don't have to call me 'human.' I shoulda introduced myself earlier, but, you know—" He held one hand up, first two and last two fingers pressed together, and imitated the gesture Mewtwo had made when it levitated him into the air. "The name's Harry. Harry Goodman."

"Hairy Good Man," Mewtwo repeated dubiously. "I have seen hairier humans."

"No, it's— That's spelled H-A-R-R-Y," Hairy said. "No I."

Mewtwo nodded slowly. "I can't read."

The human stared at it. Then shook his head slightly. "I don't know why I assumed you could."

Now that they'd been properly introduced—and now that Mewtwo had spilled more of its inner life to a human in thirty seconds than it had to anyone else in the past decade—Mewtwo was more than ready to be alone. To prepare itself for a trip to Sinnoh. To the lab. "Go." It gestured with its head in the direction of Cerulean City. Its highest roofs could just barely be seen over the trees beyond the river. "I'll be waiting."

"Right, right." Hairy turned toward Cerulean City; then turned back around again, in the direction of the nearest bridge back across the river, far in the opposite direction. He sighed quietly. Pikachu craned his head, checking for wild Pokémon along the route ahead.

Mewtwo gently lifted him up—he yelped in surprise—carried him over the river, and sat him on his feet on the opposite bank. "Oh—thanks!" He waved.

Mewtwo nodded again; then floated there, and watched, as Hairy headed back toward town. Pikachu turned to watch Mewtwo over his shoulder until they were gone.

Walking into a lab of its own free will. (Medical lab, it reminded itself again. Medicine, not power.) It hoped it wasn't making a mistake.

It hoped its genes would help people.

Comments/reblogs are welcome! If you want to leave a tip or like the fic on AO3, the links are in my description!

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[oohfluffy]

DDND Ch.1 | KJI

Group: EXO

Member: Kim Jongin

Theme: Fluff | Dancer!AU | Dormmmate!AU

Word Count: 1,870

❀ Chapter 1: Dorm-mate ❀

"Aigoo! Yah! Mochi! Come back here! Yah!

You chuckled as the two girls passed by you, clearly struggling with catching up with their dogs. You nudged your foot towards your left where your lazy dog lies.

"Oi, Hunnie-yah. Why don't you run like them? It's fine with me, you know. FYI, I'm the fastest runner in our--"

Your proud smiling face turned into a frowning one as your dog's butt appeared in your sight, walking away from you. Hunnie was obviously not interested listening to his owner.

You sighed annoyed as you followed your dog. Irony, right? Your dog should be the one who's following you but it's the other way round. How saddening.

"Yah, Hunnie! Can't we just be formal here? I'm your owner, for dog foods' sake! Don't just turn your fat butt on me, arasseo?!" You told your dog as if you're a mother who's scolding her child.

Your dog, Hunnie, has its ears up as it stopped on its tracks and glanced at you. Your eyes brightened with hope as Hunnie started walking towards you. You don't know if it's just in your imagination but you noticed, Hunnie's eyes were filled with admiration, like when you give him a plate full of meat. Yes, he just likes the meat not you.

Thinking of your fantasy, that you and your dog will finally make up after years of continuously fighting like cat and dog (no pun intended, you are a cat person after all), you dramatically kneeled down on both knees and opened your arms, expecting Hunnie to jump into them.

But of course, fantasies only exist in our minds. As fast as a racing car, your fantasy was shattered by screaming, shrilling, squealing (and many more synonyms) of what you presumed by teenage girls, or even gays because you certainly heard a deep voice shouting, "I love you, oppa!".

You were instantly brought back to reality. The reality that your dog wasn't really walking towards you, but towards to what or who is behind you. It hurtch.

You were about to call your dog to come back when you heard the heavy footsteps of running feet were coming nearer at your place. You, who's still kneeling in the middle of the street like a crazy woman, snapped your head behind you. There, you saw a huge stampede of what you presumed again, hyper fangirls. Your now wide eyes went to Hunnie, who's still walking in a daze towards the stampede without any knowledge of what in the dogs' world could happen to him once he get stepped on by those girls.

You felt like you're in a slow motion as you clumsily reach out for your dog with your knees still connected to the floor. (Stupid, I know)

I need to protect him... at least.

Despite of the pain you felt on your knees as they slide awfully on the rough and uneven cemented floor of Gangnam's street, you were still determined to stretch your hands towards the tail of your dog.

But unlike in some superhero movies, you couldn't save the one who's in danger.

The crowd of girls was already in front of your dog. Your head bumped on your tired arms as you closed your eyes, not wanting to see what's in front of you. The hope that was in your eyes before, is now gone.

"YAH! I think that's enough running, huh? Oppa's tired already and I really need a break. Do you want oppa to be flat and dead as a fallen leaf? Now go home, my loves."

Your eyes closed tightly as a man's deep voice shouted softly, if there's even a soft shout. It's like he just want them to go away but can't get his emotions take over him. It seemed like his pleading was effective, the stampede stopped, just three 12 inches rulers away from you.

"But oppa--"

"No. Go now."

"Aww. We just want to know where you'll be--"

"This is a private matter of my life. I don't want anyone interfering in my life... yet."

"So, go home now. Hurry before oppa gets mad."

"Okay, oppa!" "Take care!" "Go to your new home safely, oppa!" "Saranghae, oppa!" "See you on Tuesday, oppa!" "I'll miss you, hyung! I love youu!"

You cringed at the sweet goodbyes this 'oppa' got from multiple fangirls and a fanboy, who obviously said the last one.

Soon, you heard the slowly fading footsteps of the crowd. You breathed out the air that you were unconsciously keeping in your throat.

Hunnie?

You abruptly pulled yourself up to find your snob dog before the sun sets, when you heard a bark which you recognized as Hunnie's.

Your eyes went wide, not because you felt afraid that your dog might just hurt and bite someone, but because Hunnie's bark right now wasn't like the ones he used to bark at you. Hunnie's bark sounded lovingly and friendly.

Your heart broke, thinking that a stranger has managed to get into your own dog's good side when the owner herself can't.

You carefully sat down and dusted your dirty clothes. You're really scared to look at the silhouette you had a glimpse of earlier in front of Hunnie. Your dog might just jump into the person's arms and let him be taken away from you. It hurtch again.

"Excuse me, miss? This is your dog, right?"

You bit your lip as you nodded, still finding the rough floor interesting and dumbly sitting on the dusty street. (Yes, you're still sitting on that stupid floor) If you weren't in this state, you would totally swoon over his manly voice.

"Can you stand-- Holy sh.. shawarma! You-your knees!"

In the middle of your dark and cold ambiance, warm and comforting arms enveloped your small, fragile frame and weak state. His strong but sweet smell almost hypnotized you. You were gaping at the heavenly scent. The person carefully guided you to stand up without hurting your knees and put one of his arms on your waist, the other holding your hand.

"Are you comfortable with this?"

You shook your head in disapproval. Your arm felt like it's stretching too much and your knees were almost crouching. I don't if that's comfortable for you.

"Okay then."

You suddenly felt yourself ascend into the arms of this not really bulky guy but...

Omg he has guns.

Instinctively, your arm flung their way to his neck and held onto him as if your life depended on it. (Excuse me, this is not taking advantage of this young man's innocence. Or it may be. ㅋㅋㅋ)

You felt his sturdy chest vibrate as he chuckled at your action. You finally noticed how close you are to him right now and leaned away.

"Are you comfy now?"

Your cheeks reddened even if you tried to control it, you can't. You firmly nodded and looked around as he walked towards the park. You still haven't seen this guy's face, so you still don't know if he is a drop-dead gorgeous man but you can't help but to think he is, considering how loud and desperate his fans were.

"Arf! Arf! Arf!"

Your eyes widened for the nth time of the day, but immediately searched for your dog that you have forgotten for a while.

"Hunnie, are you okay? You're not hurt like your clumsy owner, are you?" Seeing it below, just beside the guy's feet, it was innocently glaring at you. You scoffed at it.

"Aish. This dog is really annoying. How can you just leave me alone, huh?! This is your fault." You ranted as you glared back at your dog. It seems like Hunnie really likes this guy, with it still following him like this guy is its real owner.

You were just about to rant continuously when the guy laughed loudly, as if no one is around but himself. In a split-second, you bravely turned to him, ready to give him a very long lecture about how to respect girls and remind him not to cut you off with his annoying but cute laugh. But as you opened your mouth, your jaw dropped along with your soul. You can even hear wedding bells ringing already.

Bless my poor innocent living soul. This guy is sizzling- GHAD. Abort mission! Abort! Abort!

"You're really amusing. First, you were like a knee-wounded poor girl who lost her voice, then one second you turn into a worried mama-dog and then another second, you blame the innocent dog for everything."

You held your head down in shame as his words shot your skull.

"You're so cute."

"Arf! Arf! Arf! Grrrr..." Hunnie barked aggressively as if he wasn't agreeing with what the guy last said. You rolled your eyes at the dog but felt the tingly heat creeping up on your cheeks again.

"Ahm... ehem! You-you can just put me down here. I can seriously walk. My dorm's just a few blocks away--" you tried freeing yourself from his arms—as much as you enjoy to being inside of them—but he just tightened his hold of you. (Huhuhu im dying)

"No. No. I'll feel really bad if you don't let me carry you home. Your hurt knees already look so painful enough for me to see and make me feel guilty if I ever leave you here. Just tell me the directions to your dorm."

With his good convincing, you just nodded again, feeling like you just lost in some debate. You told him the directions and stopped in front of the two-story modern house, it's not that big and fancy but this is your one and only home, your dorm.

"Well, this is my stop. Thank you for uh.. carrying me here. I really appreciate your kindness and you can just put me down-- HEY! You can't go inside! Stop!"

You started panicking as he walked calmly inside of your opened gate. You face-palmed yourself for not closing it before you went out. Your aunt will totally flip--

"OH, Kai-ssi! You're finally-- Y/N?! What happened to you?! Oh goodness, now you're bleeding, what's next?" Your aunt was used to this sight of you. You were always the troublemaker kind of girl and boy, you are just an accident-prone person.

"Kai, can you put her down on the couch? I'll just get the first aid kid. I'll be back."

Your aunt obviously knew this guy. If Kai, as what your aunt calle him, was another guy, she might have already called the police and nagged at you for being careless.

"So... you know my aunt?" You awkwardly started the conversation as Kai carefully put you down.

"Actually, I think this is just fate working."

"Hmm?" You looked back at him with questioning in your eyes.

"This is the dorm I'm moving into today. I'm sure I'm your new dorm-mate."

Your eyes met with his, giving you the chance to see his chocolate orbs of eyes. His eyes are so beautiful and clear that you can you can clearly see your reflection.

"Hi, dorm-mate. I'm Kai, at your service."

He just had to wink and grin, you almost had a heart attack.

— 

❀ Ch.2

[ravenofthefandoms]

Here are my thoughts on S8E2!

REAL QUICK THO AN ANGRY REMINDER

If you’re gonna post about an episode after watching the leak TAG UR SHIT I saw way too many spoilers and literally two hours before it aired. If you can’t tag ur shit then don’t post at all until it’s over. At least then most people have seen it. If you don’t tag ur shit then ur legally an asshole so be careful

ANYWAYS Thoughts from S8E2:

- Hi yeah did Dany kinda forget that her dad was the Mad King or is she just gonna act like she’s the only one with the right to want Jaime dead?

- Also I love how she’s like “your sister lied to me wut you gonna do about it”

- She needs to step oFF of Tyrion

- I hope Jaime really does slit Dany’s throat tbh how great would that be

- Bran is great fuckin hilarious

- YAS BRIENNE DEFEND YO MANZ

- God I love Sansa so freaking much 😭 she actually values her advisors opinions unlike another queen I know

- I love how Dany expects Jon to be like “yeah babe whatever you want” and then he’s like “nah Sansa’s right”

- Grey Worm I love you but you’re not intimidating buddy I’m sorry

- Jonno does a 10/10 walkout

- Tyrion you don’t deserve this work environment abuse go give your wisdom to someone else who deserves it

- Mmmmmmm Gendry what a man

- “It’s strong enough” what ur dick?

- “What do they smell like?” What kinda question is that wtf

- PSA: sharp objects handled by Arya Stark turn on Gendry pass it on

- Arya Stark, Queen of BDE

- Fuck yes I love this Bran and Jaime reunion

- Bran is like it’s chill tbh it’s like a good thing that you pushed me out the window and made me a cripple cuz now we’re here and I’m a magical motherfucker

- Bran is the most understanding person ever after he became the Three Eyed Raven

- “She’s your new queen too” mmm no

- Actually, contrary to popular belief Tyrion, it’s not hard to blame her

- Tyrion is both smart and a dumbass at the same time how the fuck

- Jaime’s like a dog who just heard a squirrel like “????brienne?????”

- Podrick isn’t a boy anymore HE IS MY MANZ AND HUSBAND AND HOLY FUCK HE GOT HOT SO FAST LIKE THE LIGHT FACIAL HAIR? WET. SWORD FIGHTING SKILLS? WET.

- Awww Brienne and Jaime are like the awkward high schoolers who have a thing for each other

- Why does Jorah still call her Khaleesi

- I’m glad Jorah isn’t a dumb bitch. Like he literally betrayed Dany to her brother’s killer and she still forgave him but Tyrion decides to trust his sister for once??? Nope he fucked up too bad not trustworthy

- Uhhh the position wasn’t Jorah’s to be stolen

- This scene is proof that Daensa will never happen and I am glad for it

- “I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisors” uhh??? Maybe get some new advisors then??? You should trust them??? That’s why they’re your advisors????

- PREACH SANSA CLAPBACK ON THAT BITCH BEING A HYPOCRITE

- Uh no a) the northerners accept Sansa pretty well they actually like her and b) you’re not doing a damn good job of it dumb bitch

- Uh the family that destroyed Sansa was your family dumb bitch

- Is this bitch really making the excuse that she was manipulated?¿?

- This bitch big stupid

- This scene literally reminds me of high school like Dany literally reminds me of those fake ass bitches who were sickly sweet just to get what they want from me like wtf Dany is so obviously fake that it makes me cringe

- BREAKER OF CHAINS MY ASS THE NORTH BROKE THEIR OWN CHAINS AND NOW YOU WANNA PUT THEM BACK ON DUMB BITCH EHHA (read that ehha as Cardi B)

- THEOOOOOOON YAS

- I love how he just ignores Dany and is like SANSA I WANNA SERVE U BB

- Suddenly I ship Theonsa

- This Theonsa hug is all I have ever needed in life

- Isn’t that the thief from Merlin?

- I love that little Irish girl who’s like “imma fight give me a sword” like is this Arya 2.0??

- I heart Gilly

- “I’ll defend the crypt then” YES YOU WILL LIL HUNNY YOU’LL DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT TOO

- EDDAAAAAAAY AND TORMUND YAS MY FAVE BITCHES

- Tormund is like surprise bitch you getta hug me first

- Beric is basically that cool as fuck and chill as hell uncle

- “The big woman”

- We love a Jon Snow pep talk

- Bran is like “hi yeah I’d like to be uhhh bait”

- Damn Samwell you didn’t have to flex on us like that with that deep thinking aight

- YES THEON REDEMPTION ARC AS FUCK

- Noooooo let Tyrion fight you ain’t his boss bitch (I mean you are but)

- Need it for what? Taking over the north?

- “No one’s ever tried” hehe I’m in danger

- Stark fam looking badass as fuck

- Walkout #2 isn’t as smooth but still acceptable

- “It’s a long story” bitch I got time start talking

- I CACKLED when those girls walked away from Missandei like I felt bad but that was just such a “you can’t sit with us” moment

- CAN GREY WORM AND MISSANDEI JUST GO TO NARTH AND STAY THERE FOREVER AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE

- WE WILL PROTECT YOU IM CRYINGGGGG

- Ghost is that you homie????

- Awww the Nights Watch reunion made me tear up a lil

- Sam’s like “I AINT NO BITCH I KILLED A WHITE WALKER KILLED A THENN AND STOLE BOOKS FROM THE CITADEL IM THE BADDEST BITCH AROUND”

- I love this banter with my whole entire heart

- i miss grenn and pyp so much I’m crying grenn was my pre-Pod husband

- I love Lannister brother moments so much they are so pure

- Oprah is handing out redemption arcs left and right wOw

- PODRICK HE IS A MAN NOW HE IS MY HUSBAND HE IS JUST SO SEXY NOW

- CACKLINGGGGG “half a cup” pours in half the wine jug

- What a squad

- TORMUND MAKES ME LAUGH SO FUCKIN MUCH

- He’s the awkward kid who tells weird stories and then does weird shit

- “Kingslayer get it right” - Jaime on the inside

- Everyone just has a “wtf” look on their face and I’m dying

- I. AM. CACKLING. AT. TORMUND. SEND HELP

- I fucking love Sandor with my entire heart and soul

- “I fought for you didn’t I?” Touche you got her there

- *sandor doesn’t get to sit by himself* fINE WHY DOESNT THE WHOLE FUCKING NORTH COME SIT BY ME TOO HUH IF YOU ALL WANT TO. CROWD. ME HUH???

- “I’m not gonna sit with you old shits I’m gonna go fuck a bull I mean uhhhhh I gotta go ”

- Arya being lowkey jealous makes me cackle like a witch

- “Is that your first time?” “Well yeah Arya I don’t put leeches all over my dick every time I get home wtf”

- YES ARYA GET THAT DICK HUNTY YASS RIDE HIM TO STORMS END HUNTY YAAAAAAS

- ARYA IS DOM AND GENDRY IS SUB PASS IT ON

- Arya having her first time be CONSENSUAL and with someone she loves makes me happy as fUCK

- GENDRY IS THE PUREST MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR (only after Pod though)

- All I want at this point in my life is for Podrick to hold me in his big strong arms like I just wanna cuddle him fUCK

- “Not a Ser?? Why the fuck not get outta here with that bullshit”

- “I never wanted to be a knight” Podrick: I call bULLSHIT

- Tormund is supportive of Brienne even when she’s dating another guy he doesn’t even care

- WE WAITED SO LONG FOR BRIENNE AND JAIME TO HAVE A ROMANTIC AND INTIMATE MOMENT AND WE GOT AND BRIENNE EVEN GOT WHAT SHE DESERVES OUT OF IT

- Podrick is Brienne’s proud son I am living for it

- BRIENNE’S SMILE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS THING ON THIS WHOLE ENTIRE EARTH IT MUST BE PROTECTED

- Honestly Tormund just wants to see Brienne happy and successful and tbh I don’t think he would care if that meant that she was with Jaime

- I stg if anything happens to babygirl Lyanna i will throw fists she looks like such a little bad ass in her armor omg she’s adorable

- Yeah Jorah you don’t gotta wield it in Randals memory he was kind of an asshole

- Can Podrick sing me to sleep every night please holy fUCK

- Theonsa? Check. Gendrya? Check. Grey Worm and Missandei? Check. Podrick making my whole self thirsty for him? Check.

- Uhhh Daenerys are you not gonna be concerned that you were idk fuckin your nephew or maybe that you aren’t the last Targaryen???? Maybe something important like that not the Iron fucking Throne???

- This bitch really thinks that Bran and Sam were lying hAh she drank a lot of dumb bitch juice this episode

- Daenerys is like those anti-vaxxers or flat earthers who refuse to see the facts

- Fun fact: episode 3 is going to tear out my heart and soul, put them in a blender, and then fucken shook it until it exploded like a coke with a mento in it

- I read somewhere that said something to the effect of characters who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it and that sounds like Dany w/ the Mad King to me rn

- Honestly every time Dany talked in this episode I got pissed off so that’s not good

- People be like “aw this episode was so boring” like bITCH ARE YALL MISSING THESE GREAT DOMESTIC MOMENTS?? GAME OF THRONES ISNT ALL STABBY AND SHIT IT CAN BE NICE FOR ONCE

- This episode made my heart full and I’m going to cry

- Ummmmm in case y’all haven’t seen in Dan Portman (Podrick) posted on his Instagram and it may or may not be a spoiler and if it is then I’ll kill myself

[fieryfafarfanfics]

Haunted Desire

 “He still doesn’t want to eat?”  A frown curled the corners of her lips. “No.” Arms crossed against her chest, Evelyn looked at her husband. “When I kept asking him if he wanted anything for breakfast, he just faintly mumbled Hana’s name.”  Harun only nipped the insides of his lower lip. “But Hana has school.” Standing beside his plump wife, dark brown eyes observed the silent child in the kitchen. “And to be honest, I thought that bringing him into our home would at least help the kid from crying so much back in the adoption center.” Left shoulder leaned against the wall, he released another sigh. “Turns out it’s not working, huh?”  “At least he’s not screaming anymore.” Pink lips twitching a weak smile at the faint ray of hope, she too let out a woeful sigh. “Jun said that he’s not possessed by any Jahanams anymore, but that doesn’t stop the poor boy from remembering all that trauma he’s gone through.”  “If we leave him out of our sights any more than a minute,” Strong arms flinched against his chest, “I’m just afraid he might actually conjure a Jahanam himself.”  Even with a gentle swat on the left arm, Harun only flashed a bitter smile.

 Before Evelyn could rebut his blatant statement, the sound of the doorbell caught their attention. “Must be Jun.” Pushing herself off the wall, the plump woman gave one last pitiful look at the broken boy. “Maybe we can ask Jun and Ariff if they have any other ideas to help him.”  “Good idea.” Before she left to get the door, Harun sneaked a kiss to the top of her head. Finally, after such a gloomy atmosphere in the morning, the tall man felt his heart bloom to see such a sweet smile on her face.  But alas, once his gaze returned to the boy, that tiny garden in his heart withered in worry. ---  He wondered why he was alive.  His stomach had growled and trembled for the fifth time today. The food in front of him was placed deliciously on the table, yet Imran didn’t have the will nor desire to consume even the slightest. Cold hands remained limp on scarred thighs. Slim fingers twitched and flinched at every sudden memory. His heart felt weak. His breathing felt weaker. The bags under his eyes became puffier each day. The veins in his eyeballs became more vivid and disgusting. Pale mouth was pressed to a single line. The obvious cracks on his lips gained a cringe from the boy every time cool air swiped across them.  He needed her.  He needed to see her. He needed to be with her. The whole night being left alone felt like hell on earth. He couldn’t sleep a wink. He couldn’t breathe properly. Screams and cries of the night before tore his throat until he couldn’t utter a single word. Even a tiny drop of saliva that slid down felt like fire scorching his throat. All he could manage right now was emptily staring at the food as if it was a pile of black glob. All he could manage right now was the chant of her name in his mind.  He needed her.  He needed to be by her side. He needed to hold her hand to know she existed.  He couldn’t do this.  Broken, yellow teeth chattered weakly as he lowered his head. He couldn’t do this, his heart wailed. Widened eyes burned as no tears were present. Dark pupils shrunk horribly as he stared at nothing. Hazy gaze focused on the scars and bruises on the back of his hands. Some were already faint and dark. Some were still wet and fresh. Dull, broken nails shakily dug deep into his thighs.  He then saw blood stuck inside the nail of his right thumb.  Breathing started to become raspy. Chapped lips finally spread apart until blood dripped from the corners.  -elp- He didn’t want to be alive. He—H-Help-! He didn’t want to continue this torture.  Fingers curled tightly until nails once again pierced deep into bloody palms, Imran slowly, roughly bit the insides of his torn mouth. NO—!  “I’m heeeere!”  His world stopped spinning. ---  “Here you go Auntie Evelyn!” Bouncing by the balls of her feet, Hana gave the plastic container to the lady. “Mak made lots of chicken curry and I’m soooo fuuulll!” Whining like the child that she was, Hana wrapped her stomach with small, chubby arms and shook left and right.  Evelyn only laughed cheerfully at the little girl’s bubbly personality. “Thank you, sweetie.” Hazel eyes then focused to the woman beside the child. “And thanks a lot, Jun.” Hands holding the container, she lifted it slightly and nodded her head. “I’m sure Harun would love these.”  “I know he would.” Her lips returning her smile, Junaidah peeked at the kitchen. “How’s the boy?”  To hear the question, Evelyn could feel her smile wither immediately.  “Well…” Right hand holding the container, she nervously rubbed her arm with her left hand. “He didn’t scream last night, so you can call that improvement.” Even so, a sigh slipped out pink lips. “I wish I can say about the rest.” Her frown matched Junaidah’s that was slowly forming.  “What do you mean?” Concern etched her question. Though glad that her child was happily looking at them with curious, confused eyes, Junaidah flinched slightly to the Nur mark on the back of her neck throbbing so numbly.  Upon seeing such a cautious gaze on the Pendekar, Evelyn quickly waved her left hand. “H-He’s not being possessed if that’s what you think!” Panic widened a pair of hazel eyes. Blonde hair whipping lightly from the quick shake of her head, the Penjaga nervously continued, “It’s just…he hasn’t eaten at all in the past few days. And although he drank some water yesterday, he’s not drinking now and I’m just afraid this might affect his health.”  Evelyn was at least thankful to feel Junaidah calming down.  “I see…” Right fingers no longer twitching, Junaidah huffed a heavy sigh. “I’m glad, but I guess that’s still a prob-”  CRASH!  “HEY KID—WAIT!!”  Both ladies and the little girl jumped from the startling sounds. Three sets of eyes stared at the kitchen, only to then gawk in shock at the sight of the frail, skinny boy.  “W-What…?” Junaidah gaped like a fool.  “Im—Imran?” Evelyn slid backwards in bafflement.  “Imran!” Only Hana reacted with much positive bliss. “There you are!” Her left hand, which had been clutching her mother’s long skirt for the past few minutes, was immediately released after seeing the boy. “Imran, my mak brought you food!” Neither caring about her life nor safety, the little girl quickly approached the boy with quick steps.  To see her daughter running towards the lifeless boy sent a terrifying chill down Junaidah’s spine.  “Hana WAIT!” Voice cracked a pitch, in a blink she instantly summoned her Nur weapon. A brilliant shine of pure white was formed in her right hand, and not a second later, a beaming parang shined viciously in her grasp.  Upon hearing her mother’s scream, Hana stopped immediately. Her body almost stumbled forward from the abrupt halt, the little girl then turned to her mother with a frown on her face. “Mak, what’s-?”  “KID STOP-!”  Innocently deep brown eyes widened to see such horror sketched on her mother’s face.  “HA-ANA!!”  Screams now echoed inside the house, her ears then caught the sound of rapid, approaching footsteps. Her heartbeat drumming violently inside her small chest, Hana quickly spun her heel to the direction of the footsteps.  Plop!  A short scream popped out of the little girl’s mouth once she felt something pounced on her.  Everything happened too fast.  Before Imran was inches away from Hana, Harun was already a single step away from pulling the boy back. Before the sudden impact, Evelyn had already fused with the mythical parang. Before her scream was heard, Junaidah had raised her weapon and rocketed madly at her precious daughter.  Thankfully, before the Pendekar Nur could slice the poor boy’s head in half, she instead froze right in front of the two children.  Her daughter wasn’t harmed. No scars were seen. No bruises appeared. She wasn’t screaming in pain. Hell, she wasn’t screaming at all. Instead, it was now replaced with silent bafflement from any of them.  Two adults stood as they watched the boy shiver horribly, terribly, magnificently whilst having a stunned little girl in his frail, littler arms.  “—a…n-na…”  The word was merely a dying, brittle whimper that even wind alone could drown it out.  “…n…a…” Again the voice – his voice – croaked weakly on her shoulder. “Ha-Ha-a-a…na—” A hiccup was heard next, along with a cough that sounded too thick to be normal.  Junaidah only stood in blank stupor, hands now lowered limply until her weapon burst back to white light. Evelyn formed back to her physical figure, brown eyes just as wide and frozen at the sight before them.  Three grown adults were at lost. Heavily cautious and alert at all times, but lost in bewilderment at the sudden event. Only Hana regained reality fast, deep brown eyes blinking innocently before she glanced at the shivering mess against her.  His voice was too faint, too broken. Tears formed her eyes to hear her name being slurred so painfully. So thickly. Pink lips parted open, but words were void as Hana then heard louder, clearer sobs that now stained her clothed shoulder.  Don’t go… That word echoed loudly in his mind. Don’t—Please d—on’t…go… Dark eyes were wide, too wide. Tears were thick on each heavy socket. Pale cheeks finally brought a hint of colour. Dry lips finally felt wet at the drip of endless tears. His trembling still occurred from head to toe. He felt cold, too cold, and the little girl in his arms was warmth he so desperately needed—  He felt something wrapped around him.  For once, he didn’t flinch nor feel the need to struggle.  “Hi Imran…”  Her voice. Her voice was all he needed to regain sanity back to this earth.  Finally his voice was heard. Finally a wail cracked the intense atmosphere in the room. His body still shivered. His muscles still strained and twisted. Blood now dripped slightly from the corner of his lips, but pain was now irrelevant from his consciousness once he felt her gentle embrace.  For once, he felt warm.  Again and again he cried, head now buried in her shoulder. Again and again Hana returned his tears, small hands giving countless pats to the boy’s horribly bruised back.  Junaidah, Evelyn, and Harun only watched the emotional unfold around them. Words were absent. Only stupefied stares and exchanged glances became their form of communication.  After what felt like hours, the Pendekar Nur released a heavy sigh. Upon feeling her concern, Evelyn looked to her direction.  Their eyes met along with their tiny frowns. Even without words, they knew, this chance of fate between the kids would evidently change their lives forever. The sound of the boy’s crying ironically brought comfort to Evelyn and Harun, but they both ruefully knew that they needed to do something to prevent him from festering any evil quintessence from within.  And as sounds of Hana’s tiny sobs echoed along, all three of them knew – oh Junaidah bitterly, bitterly knew – if they weren’t careful, this would mean the end of both the children’s lives. END