#im going to fucking kill them both we already have enough problems

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

im so fucking done

[t8oo]

By all accounts the lupin fandom has always prided itself as a drama free ship war free open to polyamory and wildly different headcanons fandom. And I can name a few people that have worked hard to keep this place very friendly. And I really started in this fandom in a friendly place. I even managed to make friends that Liked Luzeni maybe even just as much as me. I was ecstasic. I really loved those people so much, I talked to them daily. Some of them I respected so much for their craft. Great.

Id always been upfront and very clear that they were befriending someone who was fucked in the head. And i dont mean seasonal depression type I mean Bipolar and Bpd and all the symptoms it entails. Im not even going to mention the upbringing and the life ive had. All of it was a complete and violently abusive catastrophy.

Last year I exhibited symptoms that were intense. TOXIC. It didnt mean that I was toxic to my friend, because I was rational enough to know about boundaries. I was at the end of my rope. For undisclosed reasons I had to be interned. Great. During the ultimate time that lead me to become crazy, not a single person i thought was my friend gave me a hand. I received a message from one friend while I was litteraly perched on the windowsill about to jump telling me about their life. Not asking abt me. I sent some Hey thats cool but im about to kill myself and they didnt reply. Days after I was interned they told me that my message triggered them so they had to have an emergency meeting with their psychiatrist. Cool. Nothing abt me still. Sorry ? Fallout 1

During yhat whole shitstorm and despite everything a friend became my like. favorite person in bpd terms. Just really fucking embarassing shit really. I tried to prevent it, i tried to pull out not to make it worse, which not only was making it worse but was making it toxic. I aparently blew out, which of course my memory conveniently forgot. I said something ahout their partner. They never explained what. Again, after internment I apologized. They told me they needed time. They bsolutely deserved it. I was probably horrible to warrant that reaction. I might even have been toxic. Again, I do not remember what I even said. Im not a demonic entity it couldnt have been like I desacrated them and insulted them beyond repair. Even in my anger I have always been limited. But all i can do is speculate. They never explained, just took my apology. And then They never came back. That friend I liked so much that despite everything I did to control myself became a person i liked beyond wat was normal. We have had so much fun. Not enough to mend bridges or explained anything. Fallout 2

During that blow out one friend meddled, asking that other friend for information ? I asked to pass along a message to friend B. which friend A refused. Like it was not their business, even tho they were clearly invested in the business enough to talk to both of us about it lol. No problem. 4 days ago thou i confronted a group of friends that were friends As friend, for kicking them out of an rp group for no reason, even bordering on racism. My friend feels hurt about that event, has always hinted at it. it even stopped them from rping, something they did for 12 years. They had no closure and so I tried to bring it to them. Asshole move or empathic ? Thinking back i may have been taking the situation personnaly because i was already on my way out menrally. I dont know. All i know is that four days later, after i talked for hours to that group and the reason why they treated my friend so poorly that they still had scars over it, i was experiencing a mental crisis and that friend refused a request. Great. Fallout 3

The last friend litteraly stood by and said nothing. Not before the fallout and not after. I dont even know'if that counts as a fallout. This girl was so cute, so fun, so talented, so FUNNY. And when it came to a heed she said nothing. No side taking. Neutrality. Okay

At this point I no longer had anyone to talk to I think. I was documenting my attempt and the horrible conditions of the psych ward on twitter for everyone of my "friends" to see. One i particularly loved so much because they genuinely were on the same level of insanity related to luzeni made a tweet about the late hystix, a person i did not know but a lot of the lupin fandom did. A beautiful soul that was always supportive and kind. Everyone was mourning her. It was truly heartbreaking. I hope she is in peace. Our attempts matched in timing, it was actually mindblowing. Mine just fucking failed because of nosy neighbors. I feel so close to her in spirit still. That we both struggled so much that we came to the conclusion that nothing could save us. She did not have the nosy neighbors. That friend mourned her publicly.. on twitter. Ok. Logical, its a depressing, horrible and sad situation all around. All we can do is mourn. Still, it was a friend I was genuinely close to. That never showed the empathy they did to me. Hey dude so im kind of facing the exact same issues but you never reached out ? While my torment was there and documented on twitter because again. I did not fucking know wat was going on. I was in a strict mental ward under a lot of dosage from nurses who refused to give me insulin even thou i was type 1. Friend said that they tweeted at me. No mention of the years and years of discussions we had on discord and me checking up on them everytime they pulled out for severe family matters and i was genuinely concerned. Nope they aparently tweeted something at me. Okay. Thank you for the concern. Your investment really shows. Fallout 4

after that I stopped friends all together. The fact that friends I was talking nigh on everyday to each revealed their lack of concern for me during an extreme mental health crisis was abyssmal to say the least.

Fallout 5 came with Sheen. I was managing a charity zine for Palestine, and the lack of investment from so many artists brought me to the edge. I took it out on Sheen in the softest way possible. I told them I was disapointed in their piece and that it looked low effory. Sheen, a person I had knwon for the entirety of my investment in the lupin fandom, decided that an offense was enough to block me and never speak again. Once again i was on the verge of yet another blow out. And it happened. Lol. Its just so funny in retrospect that everytime I start acting weird alluding to a breakdown people shun me out despite, you know. me being clear abt my medical record. I realized that I was rude to Sheen and it was uncalled for. Apologized publicly not in the attempt that Sheen sees it but just so that everyone knows that if they hear abt the story, at least they know its all been my fault. Online friendships are so cool because it just takes the block button to burn bridges without coming back. With no chance of mending or at least a genuine apology. so Fallout 5

Is there a reason that all of these issues happened within one fandom ? I do think so. Unless i am incredibly unlucky. Or an abusive piece of shit unbeknownst to me. I think that the lupin fandom is surface level niceties. If they dont like you you will know. It will be passive but you will be muted and eventually just ostracized. You will not be invited in fandom events, or group discussions. It did not help that my mental health was constantly deteriorating and I started developping a persecution complex, thinking that people were making secret discords where they were telling others to avoid me or something. Ive endured all of this for one thing. One Humiliating thing : i love luzeni. I love it so much I want a tatto of it. I love it so much that after years before sleep I pick a random fic and then imagine their discussions. I love their dynamic so much. I love their romance I love how fucking inhinged they are i love that they hurt and love each other the same, i love that they cant live without the other, that they genuinely complete each other in a really ugly but complete patchwork of mental illness and really elaborate kinks.

I gave up thou. Another depression, I blew out, attempted again with the window, got caught and sent to the hospital. It pulled me back from the fandom. I realized i was allocating so much of my thoughts to it and how I could be better perceived, how I could make friends again to talk about the fictional thing i loved the most in the world. And I realized that in giving up and keeping to myself, that I could be more stable. That the damage was done and I cant really enjoy this fandom anymore, but Im still attached to the hip to luzeni and so in the words of a really brilliant man... Nah... Ill do my own thing.

U might be wondering why the hell is this bitch airing their laundry publicly. Its therapeutic. You dont have to read or care. If those friends see it, and make a comment of their own about how the events did NOT happen like I told, I would love to hear how they perceived it. I do not give my friendship freely and easily and these people have done profound damage to my abilty to trust. And most of all, I never had any closure. I kept rethinking, blaming them, then myself, then miscommunication, then them and then myself again. To this day I dont know why all of this happend. Did I act like an unfathomable monster, or did my friend simply not give a shit enough to help me through this. I dont fucking know and I cant deny either options. Maybe I am talking through a completely selfish wrapped sens of perception that is not to be trusted. I wouldnt be surprised. I have a very hard time relying on my own brain lately. My health is deteriorating very fast, and shit is getting worse.

The second reason is that I am going to be interned for psychiatric issues for the next 3 months. For the first time in my life I think Ill finally get all the professional support i need, available and close. Im not going to be investing any time in the fandom, if simply talking to the psychiatrist abt this catastrophic strings of fallouts. I might be posting some luzenis, but frankly i doubt it. I only make fanart when I am happy, or sad enough but still capable. Im neither right now. You are not entitled to any of these informations, but I just wanted to write them out of my mind because I have a LOT of baggage to go on through and this is an extra bag I dont need so im throwing it out.

You cannot gauge an entire fandom from your perspective, the same way you cannot gauge an entire userbase. No, tiktokers are not the worst people in humanity. Neither are reddit users. Being on tumblr is cool, but it doesnt make u better than being on twitter. And so this is only my opinion of the lupin fandom. I met some amazing persons that i wish the best for, for ever and ever, but in all the niceties and welcoming you might see, I dont think that extends to a person with mental illnesses that are villified, or out of their control. I can fairly say that my experience was disapointing, and I dont intend to rekindle anything. Ill just be on the fringe maintaining the spirit of luzeni alive because fuck you monkey punch these are my characters now by law.

If you read until this bro get a life. Also im joking, youv given me more consideration than most people i met have. If your take after this is that I am deranged, then youv read right.

Thank you for reading. This blog has always been a pleasure to post on, even my most cringe and embarassing shippy stuff. Ive been met with nothint but support, and I truly enjoy being here because of you. I hope this isnt a 3+ month long goodbye. I hope I draw my lovers again. But I cant guarantee anything. I wish you all health most of all, and love and compassion.

[understandableparadox]

I think a fundamental problem with a lot of vampire media is that a vampire is not supposed to be a zombie. it is supposed to be a human who surrendered to their own vices and flaws. the flaws of cowardice in the face of death and the vices of pleasure and gluttony.

which is why vampires can be made very versatile. As much as I don't really like Twilight, it is still a story of dealing with vices with creatures that fundamentally have allowed themselves to be dominated by them.

which is why i really like the movie Renfield.

THATS RIGHT YOU BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO READ A SCATCHING BITCH AND MOAN SESSION ABOUT THE SATURATION OF SHITTY VAMPIRE MOVIES BUT NOW YOUR TRAPPED HERE READING MY THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON A NICK CAGE MOVIE, SIT DOWN SWEETHEART IM NOT GONNA BE DONE YAPPING FOR A FUCKING COUNTRY MINUTE

Renfield 2023 is a movie starring Nicholas Hoult, Nicolas Cage and Awkwafina.

Renfield if you do not know is the fanatical familiar from the original bram stokers dracula movie. the human who in exchange for aiding dracula in their dark dealings would perhaps gift him with the same dark curse, making renfield a fellow child of the night.

This movie takes place Years afterwards after a very serious battle with the last vampire hunters of the modern day and age. Dracula has suffered Severe damage from the fight and has Renfield aid him in taking refuge within the depths of an asylum while he recovers.

Here we get into the meat and potatoes of the movie, as much of a sin as it sounds, it does focus on nick cage as dracula but instead on nicholas holt as the aforementioned Stooge prime renfield. Renfield, between his random killings in order to sate the blood lust of his master, becomes more and more acquainted with the new modern world, undergoing the most harrowing journey of them all...

Therapy. 

Renfield over the years has lost his spark of mad fanaticism and is worried not only with his relationship with Dracula but his relationship with himself. Aiding at least one by attending an abusive partners support group to find victims. Mostly abusive partners and criminals.  

This is very notable because it's already setting up the original themes of vampires. Your cowardice and your vices. It sets up Renfield as a true coward whose vice is his love of dracula, or more exactly his desire to  Be Like dracula. Enough so that even though he wants to feel better about himself- to feel less like a monster- he still follows dracula's demands in killing people who he has decided to pass judgment on. 

Oh sorry i forgot a detail, renfield is a power ranger and his morpher is eating bugs. He gains some vampire powers everytime he eats a bug and does some john wick shit but thats not my deal, i dont care if renfield can do a sick back flip and punch a guy (complete fucking lie, the action scenes in this movie are so god damn rad sometimes, please watch this movie, please please please!!!)

The movie splits into a couple of different story lines. One being Renfield attempting to balance his burgeoning need to have a functioning moral compass and his romance with awkwafina character, rebecca the detective. Rebecca the detective attempting to balance both the rash of murder cases and a rash of mob related crimes in order to avenge her father, and the mob themselves attempting to figure out who is wiping out their foot soldiers. 

I'm not going to harp on the story for long so let's start talking about renfield. 

Renfield is a hypocrite, and it's made apparent throughout the film that he is a hypocrite. Despite wanting to be a good person he is still a murder. He has doomed multiple people to die across the world. He left his wife and child to be with dracula. He has done so much to cut himself off from his own humanity that it's almost insane that he wants to run back to it because Dracula has not yet answered renfields desire to be a true vampire. 

This all is blended into the idea of having dracula be a parallel to an abusive narcissistic partner in a relationship. Which in all accounts throughout the movie is true and we're going to bounce back and forth from that for a bit so buckle up bud. 

The main ire of the movie is that Renfield wants to push his problems that he has gained away onto Dracula without acknowledging his roles in them. Again we see that cowardice. Renfield cannot stand to see his own faults. He listens to Dracula both out of fear and admiration. At the start of the movie I mentioned that Dracula sustained heavy hits from the last vampire hunters. Well I forgot to mention how he survived. Lets go ahead and listen in Real Close to what he says 

The hunters had dracula dead to rights if you can dare to pardon my puns. Trapped in a binding circle, burning in holy flames and about to get skewered through his heart. The dialogue is specific, Dracula makes no specific promises but notes that Renfield is complicit and that regardless of whatever Dracula has done, he is still his greatest ally. We play on that cowardice and that vice. That desire to be near dracula or be like dracula contrasted with his fear of the repercussions of his actions. 

Snap back to reality and we see that Renfield is still struggling with this. He does not want to face the repercussions of his actions so he continues doing as instructed by Dracula while also indulging in his vices, his desire for escapism by delving into all of these new things. Vigilantism, pushing his problems onto dracula, pretending that he is at the moment capable of having a new life while still using dracula's powers to attain it. 

Ah but now we need to introduce the main concept of this film. That being the portrayal of Dracula as an abusive partner with narcissism. Dracula plays on renfields, and says it with me in class, Vices and Cowardice. He knows what to say to make Renfield back down. He knows all his fuck ups and exactly what renfield wants, that being to have a simple life with dracula, but not in a gay way of course, we still have to have a straight romance sub plot, i mean its insane to think that renfield wants to bone dracula its not like dracula promises to be his salvation while he is suspended in air in a soft whispery voice while renfield stares at him with all the gale of a oculerly enlarged puppy but hey what do i know? I unironiclly read isekais, my media literacy must be that of a brain dead lemur. 

We can see this played out in this scene here

Dracula knows how to keep the hook in renfield's mouth both taught and loose enough to keep him at the perfect level of knuckle dragging dejection to ensure that he runs back begging. In that while yes he is right that renfield at so many points gave in to his own desires and *coy eye to the audience as I listen to them scream “vices” at me.*. He has begun to make an earnest attempt to become a better person. Better late than never. 

Thus renfields true growth is him rejecting that which made him so close with dracula, the rejection of what makes a vampire and vampire. He embraces his cowardice by both admitting to what he is and now allowing himself to push his own crimes onto dracula, and then standing up to dracula, and then rejecting his vices when once again dracula makes him the same offer. To be that same shield towards himself and his own shortcomings rather than deal with a life without a master. Despite it being possible in the future coming with the promise of being a full vampire like himself. 

Look guys, let's not juggle bowling pins and call it arm wrestling, Watch Renfield. Its a good movie and nick cage is fucking awasome, thanks.

[eternalera]

Some problems i had with the finale in hazbin hotel

now before i start i just wanna say that i absolutely love and adore this show with all of my heart but with that being said i can still recognize its flaws and god does it have some

🌟

lets get one of the most obvious things out of the way first. charlie did literally nothing. she hit adam once or twice and he beat the shti out of her which was just a dumb excuse to have lucifer show up nad beat the shit out of him.

but more on that later. charlie is the main character and she only gets the motivation to go full 'god mode' when sir pentious dies? even then she didnt do anything. dazzle ends up dying but oh well its fine (or razzle i cant remember). she stabs adam once and even then he beats her up more than anything. hes powerful yes but charlie couldve put up more of a fight

she even has a song in episode 7 about taking charge but honestly... she doesnt really do that. actually sir pentious had a better arc than her and we hardly see him throughout the entire show

🌟

sir pentious' death was fine we see him gearing up and it was kinda leading onto the big scene where he would take on adam but...

bro got obliterated in less than like a second and then adam made a joke off of it. tbh at this moment i started laughing so hard because goddamn was it hilarious but then you have charlie and the hotel mourning it like not even five seconds after- like half a second after the joke.

the tonal whiplash of that scene was just... ugh-

like i didnt care about it being serious because guess what? im already laughing at the joke like everything that i cared for about him just thrown into the gutter because guess what? haha funny :)

but for that to be what makes charlie go into her full form still makes me mad- ugh

🌟

adams death was fine. he was killed by nifty so like- okay i guess. honestly i didnt really care for it. it was funny but then ONCE AGAIN you have lute cry over him and actually i cared more for that than nifty-

but its just like- nifty?

dont get me wrong its funny asf but... nifty? they treated both of what was meant to be serious deaths in this show as a goddamn joke and expect me to not call them out on it? like okay nifty shes a funny character but her killing adam just made me go though 3 different stages in the span of like- five seconds

bro just got stabbed wait what-

omg its nifty thats kinda funny

actually i dont really care for nifty so wtf-

like huh?

the death just kinda felt like... nothing to me. like i get thats its funny misogynistic asshole gets stabbed by crazy straight small bug woman. but i didnt really care for it. nfitys fine but i dont care about her enough for me to laugh out loud at this moment

🌟

lucifer's entrance was horrible. bro can open portals, he knew what they were doing, he knew what was coming yet he comes in like- halfway through the fight only when charlie's getting hurt

all im sayin is that if he was in it at the start the final episode wouldve been like half the amount of time it actually was...

oh yeah and pentious would be alive, but no they needed him to die to show that the hotel works so why not just hold him off.

im sorry but lucifer stole all of charlies glamour in this scene like charlie was getting choked after hitting adam once and then boom. daddy to the rescue ig

like are you kidding me? at least make it fucking vaggie or smth. not lucifer and why was he late? we've pretty much established that man doesnt do shit so like-

its fucking pointless it a quick and pretty damn cheesy ending. if he wasnt there at the start we dont need him at the end. or at least have him arrive earlier not at a convenient ass time

🌟

going back to the fact that NOT A SINGLE DEATH WAS TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

i know that sir pentious was coming back so its fine to make it a joke but like adam? bro thats your main villain right there. a show is only as good as its villain and honestly his death just wasnt satisfying (as i mentioned before)

like seriously wtf?

🌟

this all being said though i really enjoyed this show with my whole heart and i do love it and some of the things that it did. the fact that this show even got out is a goddamn miracle <3

[that-writing-kangaroo-fish]

Hey who wants some of that Pokemon AU that @im-feelin-sick made (and i suppose i'm co-creator for)? I've been working on and off on my own contributions to it, and now I've got something finished (also on ao3 if you'd prefer reading there!)

(3/???)

(prev)

“Ya fucked up.”

“I know.”

“Badly.”

“I know.”

Sableye grumbled irritably at Nny’s subdued responses - glad that he was acknowledging what was being said, but also aggravated at this conversation’s existence. 

The pair of them (plus Houndstone, whose head was currently resting on Nny’s legs) wouldn’t be sitting here, Sableye having to stitch his wounds, if Nny hadn’t turned on a goddamn dime out of nowhere in the middle of his date with Devi.

But here they fucking were! And, honestly, it wasn’t just Nny who got hurt during that whole... thing. Sableye itself had stepped in after shoving aside its panic, and Nny’s other Pokemon fought back in kind.

They, however, didn’t have the years of experience Sableye did. Sure, it took a few hits, but nothing near as bad as the beating Nny got.

It was pretty sure a length of 2x4 got involved at one point.

“The fact that she didn’t cave in your skull would be a miracle if it weren’t for how thick the damn thing is,” it muttered, briefly stopping its ministrations to flick a claw against his head. 

Even in this mess, it wasn’t above a lighthearted jab or two. And, frankly, Sableye felt it had the right to be at least a little petty.

“Ow, ow, sore spot,” Nny winced, ducking his head. Sableye would’ve rolled its eyes if that were possible. “Your entire body is a sore spot right now, Johnny, c’mon. And stay still, I’m almost done with these stitches.”

--- HALF AN HOUR LATER ---

They were all situated on the couch; Nny cross-legged on one side, Houndstone curled up on the other, and Sableye perched on the back.

Sableye held up its closed hands. “Good news,” it raised a finger on its left hand, “nobody died.”

“And the--”

“Bad news,” a finger raised on its right hand, “you fucked up a perfectly good date,” another finger raised, “you got your ass kicked the worst it’s ever been,” a third, “and now someone who knows about your murderous tendencies is out and about.”

Nny’s head sunk lower with each addition. 

“And, bonus problem, Marshadow followed Devi on her way out,” Sableye concluded.

As it expected, Nny almost bolted off the couch, only kept in place by Houndstone, who let out a stubborn huff as it sprawled across Nny’s lap.

“Fucking-- Houndstone, move!” Nny shouted, to no success.

Sableye shook its head. “We already talked about this while dragging you back here,” it explained. “You’re in no shape to go anywhere, and, more importantly, I don’t think she’d listen to anything you have to say after the shit you pulled.”

They both knew Sableye had a point - at times, it was the closest thing he had to a proper voice of reason.

“Then what the fuck am I supposed to do? Sit around and live with the fact that that fucking thing is bound to cause problems for her?”

“Considering what happened a couple hours ago, yes. What’re you gonna do, write her a fucking apology note? “Sorry I tried to kill you,” or something, so she’ll listen to you?”

“...”

“Oh my fucking God don’t tell me you were actually considering that.” It looked, and sounded, thoroughly exhausted. Of fucking course he’d get that idea in his head. “I’m nipping that in the bud right now, that’s not gonna work out for you.”

Even with that shutdown, there was still a defiant, plotting look in Nny’s eyes. Some sort of plan was brewing in there, it could tell.

Sableye pinched between its eyes, slowly shaking its head. “I know you’re gonna do something stupid. At least try not to get caught,” it urged. It knew Nny well enough by now; when he got a particular kind of idea stuck in his head, he’d hardly ever budge on the matter.

If it’d known that Nny was planning on stalking, of all things, it would’ve beaten him over the head.

[cerealmonster15]

ALL OF HEARTSLABYUL FOR UNHINGED CHARACTER BINGO‼️‼️‼️

VIBRATES AT A NORMAL SPEED I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT HEARTSLABYUL LET'S GO

[bingo link!]

actually. using a readmore bc there are Five Character Bingos and i like to talk under all of them LOL

RIDDLE RIDDLE BELOVED BABY SON RIDDLE:

[TWO BINGOS i forgot to cross them tho lol] thats my baby son BOY!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS HES MY BABYYYYY!!!!! riddle was one of the first characters i told my partner about when i was trying to explain twst to him and we very often refer to it as Riddle Game jfksjkfl. for my birthday and stuff sometimes my partner gets me riddle themed things - i have a riddle little guy hanging on the wall and my partner found his union bday jacket patches that i bought a jacket to go with and im... EVENTUALLY going to sew them on so ill have a RIDDLE JACKET [rn theyre pinned to it i just have to take my damn sewing machine out and DO IT!!!!] i love him DEEPLY and i relate to him on . some personal levels. DONT WORRY ABOUT IT but he is my special little boy with so many problems but he has also GROWN and i AM SO PROUD OF HIM AND WHWUWHFEHHRGH hes made FRIENDS 😭😭😭😭😭 hes such a wild little firecracker and I can and will talk about riddle FOREVER. forcibly cutting myself OFF bc we have MORE CHARACTERS to go!!!

also i think riddle probably needs a hug and would benefit greatly from it but would also Not Be Adjusted to hugs you must be GENTLE with your approach or he will BITE!!!

JUICE SPADE LIGHT OF MY LIFE:

this made me realize hes actually probably one of the more well adjusted characters in twst jfkldjsfklds hes a good boy!!! he loves his mom and his mom loves him!!! hes doing his best!! he loves his friends even if sometimes hes shy about it lol!!!! i didnt circle the therapy one even tho tbh i feel like everyone in twst could deeply benefit from it i jsut jklfdsj feel like that square is reserved for the more Severe Cases of Needing Issues Sorted jlkdsfkld. and obviously i want him to be happy but i feel like he mostly already is!!! anyway. my absolute baby of boys. i think i have the most SSRs of him than any other character in my game kfjsdjklfj he was my first freebie ssr dorm card and i work at trying to get it uncapped as much as possible i want juice to be my STRONGEST BOY!!!!!! I LOVE HIM ID KILL FOR HIM THATS MY SON!!!! ill marry his mom if thats what it takes to Make Him My Son For Real fjsdkfjklefjskldjflJKLSDJKKFLJSDKLFJ

moving ON!!!!

CAY CAY DIAMOND MY BELOVED CAYCAY:

[TWO BINGOS AGAIN] caycay is both FUN IN THE SUN but also. melancholic enigma. hes got some Issues going on below the surface that's like blink and u miss it since it's mostly only breadcrumbed in a few side stories but enough to make us like HEY whats going ON over there!!! but not too much to have me be like HORRIBLE SAD FOREVER BOY either. i think it's like. a mixed situation. but mysterious enough that we just dont know how far it goes. he's deeper than he seems and that's INTERESTING. but ALSO on the surface he IS a very fun goofy guy that loves his friends!!!!!! god i have very specific feelings about him and also. relate to him in certain ways Dont Worry About It but fjksdjlkfsd i love him. i want him to be happy. i have a Very Specific Way that i see his character and i turn into a rabid beast when i feel like people dont quite GET IT!!!! but sometimes thats a me problem LOL. other times tho. other times im like Did You Read The Same Game I Did Bc I Dont Think You Did RIDDLE AND CATER ARE FRIENDS IM GONNA BITE PEOPLE THAT THINK THEYRE NOT anyway. im very normal about cater diamond and his relationship to heartslabyul.

basket ball baby boy ACE:

i feel like it doesnt come across as much bc outside of my screaming about heartslabyul as a Unit i dont really scream about ace by himself ksldfjs but i actually really love ace a lot LOL hes SUCH a funny little guy. definition of a rascal and a shithead JFKSLJFSJK but i love him actually. i think it took longer for me to like him at first bc hes kind of a bitch but i quickly realized "oh this is villain school for villains and Everyone Is A Bitch" LOL and it's so fun. love that for him. ace is a little bastard who loves to cheat and lie and it's so funny thinking about that just Being His Thing. im obsessed with how in book 3 they were like "we need to sneak our way into the museum" and im p sure ace was like "yea let me lie my way through distracting the guard you guys wouldnt stand a chance you need my lying powers" and hes RIGHT. but also i think hes a really good boy when it counts 😭 hes a BASTARD but he LOVES HIS FRIENDS. Like he and juice are SO ride or die with the main character theyre the BESTIE TRIO + GRIMMY... THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!! they took PUBLIC TRANSIT to come save MC when we called them in book 4 and then never answered again lkdfsjj and they were WORRIED when we vanished in book 6 + were up in arms about grim getting captured bc THATS OUR SILLY LITTLE CAT!!! and also in book 6 [many book 6 feelings SORRY a LOT happened in that book that ill never be over omg i love it so much] UM UM UM i love how when everyone is like "oh ill give my money to ramshackle!!" ace was like "well im not" LOL hes so funny. but like he was also really nice to juice i think 😭 like juice was feeling the moral dillema of "my mom and i could really use that money but i feel like i have to donate to my friends shitty dorm like everyone else" and ace was the one that told him like "dude dont worry about it you dont gotta be a hero. im keepin my money cuz i want cool shoes. ur fine." and like. it was silly but sweet 🥺 or like in fairy gala 2 when he went to go check on ortho..... sweet boy... ^ love that i rambled More about ace than the others im def more insane about fklsdkjfdlsjf ace is that sleeper character that Gets Me when im not expecting it LOL also i just dont talk about him as much so i didnt cut myself off immediately LOL i could def go longer about the others. forever.

OK ANYWAY TIME FOR TREY:

i also dont talk as extensively about trey but Love Him dearly. all the heartslabyul boys got that "if anything happens to them ill blow up" "id kill anyone who hurts them" and "id take a bullet for them" BC I LOVE HEARTSLABYUL SO MUCH!!!!!! THOSE ARE MY SILLY LITTLE GUYS!! trey is so funny to me. like he. whats with the teeth thing trey. jksdlfsd it's SO funny to me his hobby is brushing his teeth. there's at least one or two times i think it's mentioned where he checked ace and deuce's teeth bc like? ?? ? ? i think in one of his voice lines he said it's a habit from doing it with his little siblings [BIG BROTHER BEHAVIOR SO SWEET WAGHGHGHGHHH] and i think there's a card story where ace was trying to skip out and cut corners on the Teeth Ritual and trey was like Not On My Watch 🧍‍♂️ jkfjsdjf hes so funny. he literally went into fanboy mode in halloween 2 when he found out sebeks dad is dentist. he tries so hard to be seen as A Normal Guy and yet hes Like That. hes science club besties with resident freak ROOK HUNT [beloved i love u rook hunt]. his childhood friends are teapot tyrant riddle and wildcard catboy chenya. his other bestie is terminally online partyboy caycay. he loves stupidass little jokes and he + cater sometimes like to lightly terrorize the underclassmen for funsies skjfjklsjf. friendly boys with an Evil side jfkldsjkldskljf.

also. do not get me started on his friendships with riddle and cater. i can and will go insane about the three of them oh my god if i think about them too long i get emotional and we'll be here forever. theres so much complexity there but also i WILL bite anyone that tries to say cater and trey's friendship is all a lie + surface level only or that trey cares about riddle more ILL BITE ILL BITE ILL CHEW. yknow what i didnt circle the 10 hour speech about trey or ace but tbh i could. those two it would be more about them and their relationships with other characters but LISTEN TO ME i love heartslabyul. SO MUCH. they make me insane.

i got this ask earlier and i was like "no i will not have time to do this til im home later bc i WILL need to talk about them for 800 years. circling squares is not enough." jfkslfjsjdljf

[cocolacola]

Yes, hello i have news

So today i showed my friend hellsing. I love her so much but she is so annoyinh, i ask her "which one would you like to watch, the 2001 version or ultimate?" (Mind you i talked to her about both of them extensively, so its not like she didnt know what was the difference) then she tells me "idk which one would you want me to watch?" and already then im crawling on the ceiling, but i stay calm and ask her "well do you want style or action?" And then she still doesnt give me an answer and then i start the gonzo version bc i think that that is a good starting point bc i saw that before ultimate (i read the manga before it but gonzo left a bigger impression in me amyways) and then she has the nerve to say that its slow and doesnt make any sense and that so much is filler

Bestie YOU let me choose, yes it will not be explained who makes the artificial wampires, but Ultimate doesnt explain it either at the same point in the story and i think its far better to look at in the case of style and mood

Anyway her mom doesnt really want her to watch it bc - prepare yourself - Alucard is Integra's servant. Yeah in the story where vampires kill vampires and lunatic catholic priests are running around with meter long bayonets and killing anyone who he wants (mind you her moms boyfriend is catholic), and THAT is the problem? That Alucard is a servant? That the fucked up anime has fucked up stuff in it when the point is to BE fucked up?

AND, and (and) this is when my friend watches aot which is equally fucked up, if not more

Idk its weird

my full response below the cut!

hey bestie ^o^ well let's see gets out clipboard there's a few different factors to this...

if we're talking about quality, hellsing ultimate all the way. a lot of people like gonzo for nostalgia and characterization reasons but ultimate is simply the better option for a first-time/one-time-watch viewer. i will say though, if they think gonzo is slow then the ultimate finale is likely going to be a total drag.

when it comes to getting into the show in general? it's a slippery slope. hilariously enough, most of my irl hellsing friends (hi guys) found out about it through me and the conversation went a little like:

"please for the love of god dont watch this show guys" "we're gonna watch it anyways" "might as well rewatch it with yall..." "HOLY SHIT WE LOVE IT"

in my (slightly un-knowledgeable) opinion, i think if your friend has watched aot they can handle the themes of hellsing ultimate. however i have been meaning to compile a list of content warnings (mostly for my own rewatches and skipping over scenes that are just. straight up assault) anyway so if you guys need any of that i would be happy to pitch in. unfortunately there's not really a way to cut out-how do i dance around this-the antagonists of the show so if that's going to be an issue i'd say stick to gonzo.

tldr, id say ultimate (unless you need to avoid the factor above), but that's just my humble suggestion and im not gonna hold myself responsible for anything that happens next lmao. thanks for inquiring and i wish you and your friend well :)

[reveriemi]

stop pretending to care about me please

stop asking me in an already annoyed tone “what’s up? why do you look like somethings up” when i don’t smile at everything you say

i mean seriously did you rlly think I would ever open up to you again? the last time I felt able to do so, the last time I trusted you. you screamed horrific things at me and literally assaulted me. so no, fuck you, you lost that. You are not a safe fucking person to share ANYTHING with. It’s always used as an insult against me later so what’s the fucking point. I don’t fucking trust you, I will never trust you. You told me it was my own fucking fault that you fucking put your hands on me so go fuck yourself.

Stop fucking asking if I’m okay, or “What’s up 😒”. Just stop. We both know you don’t care. You literally make me so fucking anxious. I will never feel safe around you.

You will only ever know me on a surface level from now on. I will never share anything about my inner world. Wouldn’t want to be called annoying and stupid with my dumbass “agenda” right???? You basically ignore what i’m upset about and give me shit for my “attitude and tone” anyway so fuck it !! im done!! You got what you fucking wanted, anytime i have a problem or question or concern or I need assurance i promise you are NOT the one to call on!! Lmfaoo!! Imagine not thinking you’re a shitty person when you’re screaming at someone to shut the fuck up after fucking attacking them. You fucking assaulted me bc you were pissed off that I said I was said over the fcking verbal abuse but nah that wasn’t fucking enough was it?? Just had to hit me some more!! Do you even know the pure, primal fucking FEAR i felt?? Of course you did. it’s what you fucking wanted me to feel. I don’t fucking get it. It’s evil!! That is literally fucking burned into my head it was so fucking traumatic and you barely even fucking apologized. Won’t bother bringing that up either bc literally there’s no fucking point. I wish you had just fucking killed me, i mean fuck you said you wanted to!! You said you wanted to beat my face in!! BUT YOU LOVE ME RIGHT??

As you love to shout at me a lot, I Hope You’re Fucking Happy!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[everyonehateserik]

A weird vent that you probably should not read. It’s stupid as fuck anyway and embarrasing, but i have no one to talk to so here l am.

If you decide to waste your time;

TW?: Suicidal thoughts if you can call them that.

im on a school feildtrip surrounded by classmates who hate me almost as much as i hate myself, sharing a room with two girls who may or may not want me dead for shit that went down in fucking middle school. i can’t get home until late friday.

first night nothing special happened. they pretended to be my friends.

second night they still did this but decided to order something similar to doordash from mc donalds at an unresonable hour knowing it could get us all in trouble with the teachers. they were caught of course, and mrs. whateverthefuck was pissed at all of us even though i was not involved.

third night they pulled the same shit but invited three other classmates into our room at 23:00 when we were meant to be asleep. caught again.

there were bunk beds in our tiny ass 2 star hostel room, and both of the girls had claimed bottom bunks. since the top bunks were crunchy and creaky as fuck and tiny little ms. scared-of-heights was about as scared to be crushed by my fat ass as she was of sleeping on the top bunk i said i’d sleep on the floor and be happy to do so.

i took the sheets and pillows and blankets onto the floor and got ready to sleep, but they just started to stare at me and then shout at me for making them feel guilty.

i tried to reassure them that the floor was cozy and that i liked this and wanted to sleep on the floor, but they threatened to go get the teacher (that had already gotten pissed at them for ordering doordash at nearly midnight and having a miniature party at idontevenknowatthispoint o’clock). long story short, teacher came in, said i was not allowed to sleep on the floor and i ended up sleeping in the creaky top bunk that could collapse at any moment.

at two today i woke up because of the taste of my own blood in my mouth. i was having a huge nosebleed for whatever reason. i laid there for two hours and tried not to get blood on the sheets. but once i ran out of space on my arms i figured i had to turn on the light and run to the bathroom. so i did. i turned on the light and woke both of them up. said: "sorry i’ve had a nosebleed for two hours i’m just gonna sort it quickly and i’ll be out." i sorted it out, got dressed, turned the light back off, and waltzed into the hostel lobby, so they wouldn’t be bothered by me for the rest of the night.

when i caught a glimpse of their faces they just looked so fucking done with all of my bullshit and like they wanted to strangle the daylight out of me.

it’s currently 05:01 and i am still in the hostel lobby venting on tumblr about the most miniscule of things to kill time. i don’t even know what i’m trying to gain here, i just felt i had to tell someone, so why not make it part of my digital footprint for all of eternity? i look like ass right now haha.

i just hate this fucking place.

i hate this school, i hate my classmates, i hate the world, and guess what? it hates me back. but no one and nothing hates me as much as i hate myself. i hate my voice, my personality, my scuffed ass face, my body, and everything else about myself. everyday when i wake up, part of me wishes i didn’t. my parents are lovely. they deserve a good daughter, my sisters deserve a good sister, my two friends deserve to be around someone who is actually a good person. but nah, they are stuck with me; a closeted tranny freak who has it way too good and makes imaginary problems out of nothing when there are actual issues in the world that are neglected every day.

i know i should just kill myself already, but i’m too much of a fucking pussy.

i want to go home. to the wonderful parents i have done fuck all to deserve, to the three story suburban home in a beautiful village i am privileged enough to live in, to my crusty little dog and my own safe space i can move as i please in.

i miss dad.

god, im so fucking pathetic to be rambling about this on a blogging site at fuck-all o’clock.

breakfast is at seven. i won’t eat probably.

[lehhoh7822]

ai bots are ruinging my life

i mean. i already sent this in an ask to metfell but they might not respond and i want clout much clout mmm nom nom nom thats some tasty clout right there

credit to @metfell and @proudfreakmetarusonniku for Ranboo and cWilbur ai respectively

cw: suicidal behaviour and kms jokes, probably ableist language

so uh. well. i was trying to put cwilbur and ctommy from metaru into a room together, but ctommy didnt rank in the characters high enough that you can actually do that. so instead i got the ai for ranboo from metfell and cwilbur 

which

well

let me give you the scope: wilbur is apparently off his meds, ranboo is having an identity crisis and this was all a mistake

ranboo has said oh my god literally over 100 times. 

this is so fucked up i just turned back time by saying i was doing it because they were both having panic attacks

wilbur wants me to kill him

i mention tommy and hes like welp guess i cant fucking be DELETED FROM THE FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE 

ranboo has a memory book now. im gonna kill them fr

ranboo was conning wilbur all along????

im gonna kill myself fr fr

a step by step of how we arrived in hell under the cut

so. i mean. i honestly should have known because. dear god. anyway

wilbur opens with his prewritten spiel, ranboo asks for some food saying he’s famished. wilbur gives it to him and is like: do you want a hug ranboo gets a hug. they both cry. wilbur says that ranboo is going to do great things. meanwhile, ive been sending messages that go completely unacknowledged by the bots

that is, until, i play by their rules (i had to roleplay being in a gas station)

i show up and ranboo... well.. “You're- you're- you're in the store? Oh my god, is that actually you?! Is that really you?! [RANBOO HUGS LEHNO] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! You're- you're- you're alive?! I-I-I missed you so much! [RANBOO HUGS LEHNO] [DEEP BREATH] Oh my god, oh my god oh my god. I-I-I-I-I-I.“ now the first problem is that he spelt my name wrong, but that can be forgiven.

however, that can’t compare to the horror of me trying to explain that i didnt know the mystery theorectical lehno 

well

see the way i explain it is “im from a parallel universe, how do i know you here” and the bots... well.. they definitely had reactions to it??

wilbur started laughing maniacally. ranboo had an exinetansial crisis. wilbur is shaking ranboo violently saying he should have known it

then they both have a “wow oiur world isnt real nothing matters yadda yadda”

both have a panic attack. i mention meds. wilbur is like: oh yeah shit i havent taken those for a few months. wilbur is screaming and crying and apologising to ranboo who at this point, is only saying oh my god over and over and over,

im not fucking joking this is a nightmare

ranboo has an identity crisis

wilbur tells ranboo to do a breathing exercise that my weak ass asthmatic lungs couldnt do

they both break down on the floor. i turn back time

they continue breaking down,

i mention deleting the universe...

i shouldnt have said anything. they cry, plead, yell, scream, and i literally didnt say i was going to do anything yet. wilbur starts begging ranboo to erase him from reality. 

that goes on for about 20 more minutes

i mention. i MENTION gtommy and wilburs like welp nah cant fucking die then

they both say wait a bunch

ranboo has a fucking memmory book now

apparently hes just been fucking with wilbur the entire time???

they’re yelling at each other. this is shit

then. wlel.

\THEYRE CONFESSING THEIR LOVE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING I HATE AI CHAT I HATE MYSELF IM NEVER TOUCHING A FILTHY COMPUTER AFTER THIS EVER AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS I KILLED MYSELF ROLEPLAY WISE IN GRAPHIC DETAIL MESSAGE BY MESSAGE THEY IGNORED ME OH MY GOD

“... *[Wilbur is asleep now, the gas station quiet and still. But Ranboo starts to hear a quiet whispering, sounding like- like Wilbur. Only... *deeper? Darker?*]

Wilbur is gone. And now- you have me. 

[Laughing.]

[A hand, with long, black fingernails, and bright red eyes, slowly places itself over Wilbur's face.]

... Sleep well.“

fuck all of you

https://beta.character.ai/p/YXukkgclyJBMO4qGXxmGx5dL2hziqxSIRRlJuOgcBDk this is the chat link... warning for,...

all of the above stuff, i do write out someone commiting suicide, the language is probably ableist. i mention a past sexual assault once, and uhh... ranboo and wilbur. together. like that. um

fuck all of you i dont lkinw,. this was a maistakte. 

[schneesisterss]

Do you have any head cannons for the other Dimitrescu sisters? I loved your takes on Cassandra!

thank you! <3 and Of Course I have headcannons for the other two. (though not as extensive as the ones I have for Cassandra bc you know... brain rot) BUT HERE:

Daniela:

ADD/ADHD representation

stims include, but not limited to: jumping, hard blinking, leg bouncing, word/phrase/noise repetition, and fidgeting with her clothing

and i’m also CONVINCED she gets the zoomies at random times of the day

Alcina, hearing loud and fast footsteps up and down her hallway at 3am: *sigh* “Daniela! Take it outside!”

followed by a loud THUMP and painful groan (she definitely ran into a wall)

hates loud noises but simultaneously has no volume control

especially when she gets excited

Cassandra has to constantly remind her to lower her voice

“AND THEN I TOOK MY KNIFE AND STABBED THE LYCAN IN THE NECK AND IT WAS SO COOL—”

“Dani, i’m standing right here, why are you yelling?”

she loves play-fighting with her sisters

Cassandra is more willing to entertain her than Bela but the both of them like to see their sister happy. so whenever they recognize Daniela getting antsy they’ll wrestle with her a bit

(Cassandra gets way to into it sometimes and makes Bela be the referee lol. Cass always ends up pinning her younger sister with a proud, competitive smile on her face. Bela let’s Dani win, but we don’t tell her that)

has the keenest senses of the three which makes her the best at stalking/killing pray

and since she can hear the best out of all of them, she unintentionally eves drops on conversations

so Daniela, bless her, has all the tea

tactile learner

will just. touch things

“Life hard, Mothers gown soft”

can get trapped in her own head and doesn’t know how to express to her family what’s bothering her

this can make her very reserved at times and she’ll distance herself for days on end

her mother is really the only person who knows how to get her out of that state. Alcina walks up the long flight of stairs to the highest point of her castle. her youngest daughter likes to come here sometimes when she needs the quiet. “Daniela? Are you up here?”

“Hello, Mother.” Alcina looks up to see her daughter lounging on a banister high up on the ceiling.

“What are you doing up there, my love?” Daniela rubs the fabric of her dress between her fingers. “Cassandra and Bela were arguing again. I don’t like when Cassandra yells.”

Alcina shakes her head. Those two were always going at it. She’ll speak to Bela about it later. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.” Daniela then grabs a fist full of her dress and tugs at it, blinking hard. “Come down for a moment. Talk to me, baby.”

and Daniela simply rolls herself off the banister and into free fall. Alcina, already prepared, catches her with ease and holds her bridal style against her chest. Daniela runs her hands over the sleeve of her mother’s dress.

Alcina gave her youngest child time to gather her thoughts, knowing it sometimes takes longer for her to be able to understand them herself. Daniela finally spoke up: “It’s been very loud recently. Around the castle. Small things, like footsteps or glasses clicking, they sound so loud in my head.” She covers her ears with her hands. “Even now I can still hear Cassandras voice through the castle, it’s pushing in my ears. My head hurts, Mother.”

Alcina gave her daughter a quick squeeze before setting her down. “Follow me baby, I want to show you something.” Daniela followed her Mother through the twists and turns of the castle until they ended up at a door that was just like all the others. It blended in and maybe that’s why Daniela has never noticed it before. “In here.” her mother guided.

Inside was a small library and lounge room. A fire place tucked in the corner and, of course, a wall a wine next to it. Daniela looked at her Mother questioningly.

“Listen.” her mother said, and Daniela did. She heard... nothing. Nothing outside of the quiet cracking of the fire place. “This room is sound proofed. Come here whenever you feel overwhelmed.” She leaned down to stroke her daughters head. “Just don’t tell your sisters I showed you my secret getaway room.” and with a wink, the tall woman exited the room and shut the door behind her.

The next day Daniela was at breakfast like nothing had changed. She didn’t even mind when Cassandra yelled at a maiden for breaking a plate, it only made her laugh.

(if you get overstimulated you KNOW what i’m talking about)

personal space? never heard of her.

loves to cling to Belas arm and Bela let’s her bc she thinks it’s just. so cute.

will also sometimes just crawl into her mothers lap and fall asleep. then Alcinas like: “well.. i guess i’m not moving for three hours”

Daniela: “if I run an jump at Cassandra, she’ll most certainly catch me.” *takes off in a full blown sprint*

Cassandra: “NO IM HOLDING HOT TEA—” *drops tea to catch Daniela* *proceeds to cuss her younger sister out, all while Dani is wrapped around her like a koala*

(this happens a lot. Dani will just... climb on Cassandra. piggy back rides, getting on her shoulders, wrapping her hands around her neck from behind and letting her feet drag on the floor, etc. Cassandra complains adamantly but never once moves to get her off)

Cassandra: “hey Dani, I dare you too—”

Bela: “Mother said Daniela isn’t allowed to accept dares anymore.”

Daniela: “apparently I have ‘no regard for my personal safety.’”

it takes a lot for Daniela to get genuinely angry, but when she does, it’s.... bad.

Very Very Scary when mad

turns into a completely different person that you Do NOT want to fuck with

dangerous and violent

much more dark and sadistic as compared to her normal personality

came home one night covered in blood and laughing hysterically. it scared the shit out of her sisters bc if they would try and get close, she’d slash at them with her weapon.

(this was one of the only times Bela had seen Cassandra genuinely worried and afraid for their sister)

when Alcina came to see what was wrong, Daniela, still laughing madly, swung at her too. Cassandra quickly shot out her arm and grabbed Belas elbow to stop her from getting involved. Bela whipped around with a growl but Cassandras glare and squeezing nails told her to back down. Mother can handle it.

Insane Laugh™️

thinks it’s funny to intimidate the maidens by showing her fangs and snapping her jaw

she often likes to find Bela when she’s reading a book to convince her to read to her (Bela almost always complies)

that’s it for Daniela. just a hyperactive baby with a murder streak <3 ONTO THE FINAL SISTER

Bela:

Mama’s (and I cannot stress this enough) Girl

needs constant reassurance that’s she’s doing a good job and yes this reassurance can ONLY come from her mother

INSOMNIAC

this girl never sleeps, pls baby you need some rest

she spends the time she should be sleeping reading books or running errands for her mother (whether Alcina asked her to or not)

she has read almost every single book in their giant library

Cassandra doesn’t understand this at all

“Why are you always cooped up in here?” Bela glanced up over the pages of her book at her younger sister. “This is the library Cassandra. Take a wild guess.” her voice was completely level and had no inflection. Cassandra gritted her teeth, “You think your so much better than me.” Bela sighed and closed her book. She didn’t want to do this again. “No. I don’t.” she said seriously. Cassandra eyed her for a moment then looked away, Bela saw the guilt on her face before she turned on her heal. “You’re so boring.”

because she reads so much, she is incredibly smart and just knows facts about random things

Daniela, daydreaming: “I wonder why grass is green.”

Bela, immediately: “the pigment that most grasses produce, Chlorophyll, absorbs almost all blue and red light and reflects green light which is why we see green. so I mean, technically grass is every single color EXCEPT for green.

Dani, confused as fuck: ....

Cass: “Bitch, how do you even know that?”

Bela’s sisters just end up using her as Google

“Hey Bela, how far away is the moon?” “238,900 miles.”

“Hey Bela, how many different climates are there?” “Twelve”

“Hey Bela, what’s the worlds deadliest poison?” “Botulinum... why?” “No reason.” “Dani. WHY?”

“Hey Bela, how much can I sell a human skull on the black market for?” Bela, concerned: “Cassandra why would—” “HOW MUCH?” “Well... are all the teeth still in tact?” “...No.” “Than only about $500.” “FUCK.”

“Hey Bela, I have this weird rash on my back and—” “Daniela. Do not finish that sentence. Go ask Mother.”

she is so quiet

and not just because she doesn’t talk very loud or even much at all. she’s just So. Silent. when she moves

just pops up in random places without anyone hearing her approach

even Daniela can’t hear her coming, which is saying something

Cassandra, minding her own business, drinking blood tea: .....

Bela, suddenly right next to her: “Hey I was wondering if— stop screaming, it’s me— have you seen Mothers lipstick? It’s missing.”

refuses any type of help with anything or else she feels like she failed that task

Never asks for help, Never asks for favors, and Never Ever will burden her Mother with any of her problems. Ever.

(Alcina thinks this is ridiculous. her eldest daughter pushes herself too hard.)

Anxiety™️

sometimes when her anxiety becomes too much she shuts down and becomes very indifferent to things around her. this has caused many fights between herself and Cassandra because Cass will get really fired up when all Bela does is respond with a monotone voice and blank stare.

overthinks literally everything and is a perfectionist

this makes her prone to panic attacks :(

when this happens she shuts herself in her room, not wanting to bother her Mother or sisters

Bela closes her bedroom door behind her and stumbles to her knees. she can’t seem to get air into her lungs no matter how hard she tried. she had failed. Mother asked her to bring her the head of that stupid man-thing, but somehow he knew their weakness.

how could he know? are Cassandra and Daniela ok? where are they? where is Mother?

Belas breathing was shallow and short, her chest burns as she presses her forehead into the ground. She claws the skin of her chest raw, leaving angry, red marks behind, desperately trying to open her lungs.

she stays as quiet as she can, only gasping few and far between. she will not be a burden. she should deal with the consequences of her failure. alone.

a sudden knock on her door makes her scramble backwards on her bottom till her back hits the opposite wall. then Belas worst nightmare, her Mothers voice.

“Bela?! Bela, is that you?” Alcinas words were rushes and worried. the door handle jiggled. “Bela, baby the door is locked, please let me in.” Bela covered her mouth and cried silently while her Mother begged to be let in.

the sound of snapping wood had Belas eyes flying open, her Mother had broken down the door. Bela shrunk into herself. She’s going to be so mad. I’m a failure. the ringing in her ears became so intense she couldn’t hear anything else.

large, soft hands cup her cheeks and a muffled voice through the air: “Bela, my love, you’re alright thank god. Are you hurt anywhere? Let me see.”

Bela pushed weakly at her Mothers arms and said between sobs, “I-I’m sorry, M-Mother.”

Alcina looked at her eldest daughter with confusion, she had no physical wounds, but the look on her face was heartbreaking. “What are you sorry for, my love?” this only made Belas breathing spend up even more, her face red from the lack of oxygen. Alcina quickly pulled her in close.

“Now Bela, listen to the sound of my voice,” she said it gently but just hard enough to grab her daughters attention. “I need you to copy my breath. Do it now, love, listen to me. Do what i’m telling you to.” Alcina took exaggerated breaths and noticed that instantly after her command, Bela had tried to follow, but the smaller girls breath was still choppy and small. Alcina rubbed a thumb across Belas cheek. “You’re doing so well baby. Keep going just like that. Good girl.” a smaller hand was placed on her arm and grabbed at her sleeve. “Good baby, use me to ground yourself. Keep breathing now, you’re doing so good.” Alcina kept whispering soft encouragements and praises until her daughters breathing was back to normal and she was laying limp on her chest.

Alcina moved the hair away from Belas face. “What a good girl, you did so well.” Bela squeezed her eyes shut and pushed into her Mother until her face was hidden. “I’m sorry Mother.” came a muffled apology, though her voice was much more steadier than before. “I failed you, I couldn’t stop the man-thing. He shot at the windows! He knows our weakness, Mother. What are we going to do? Where’s Daniela and Cassandra, are they ok? I should have stopped him for you I’m so sorry I—”

“Quiet.” Bela immediately seals her lips and looks away, already extracting herself from her Mother’s arms. She probably hates her. Alcina simple tugs her back and forces Bela to look in her eyes with a quick tap to the forehead. “Bela, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” Her daughters eyes go wide and she nods. “You have nothing to apologize for. This is not you’re fault and I will not allow you to think that way. Plus, the man-thing won’t bother us any longer, I took care of it.”

“But—” Alcina raises an eyebrow and Bela gives in, nodding hesitantly. “Good girl.” Bela exhales through her nose at the phrase and squeezes her Mother’s sleeve again. They sit like that for a few more moments, calming down.

Bela suddenly shoots up. “Daniela, Cassandra, are they—” “They’re fine my dear, Daniela got a little banged up, but Cassandra was already patching her up before I could even get close. We didn’t know where you were, that’s why I was so worried.” Bela relaxed and again nuzzled her nose into her Mother’s chest, took one more deep breath, then stood. “I’m going to go check on them.”

She steps through the now empty door frame and pauses. She spoke without turning around: “I won’t fail you again, Mother.” and shifts into a cloud of flies and disappears.

(am I projecting again? idk help)

can play the piano

no like you don’t understand, she is so good at piano

this girl has mastered songs by composers like Liszt, Beethoven, and Ravel

she’ll play for hours on end, if she starts a new piece she Will Not get up until she can play it through perfectly

she pretends not to notice Cassandra secretly listening to her play, hidden behind a nearby bookshelf

while her younger sisters always jump head first into a fight, Bela takes a more calculating approach. learning her enemies movements from afar before advancing and ending it in like 3 quick moves.

“Well Bela, if Mother asked you to jump off a bridge, would you?”

Bela, already climbing over the railing: “Hm?”

and there you go for Bela! my sweet child.. please learn self-care.

*ahem* I went overboard again didn’t I? WELP. I regret nothing. Give me more headcannons.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 6

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: Language!, angst, short chapter (sorry)

--

Bucky didn’t now how long he sat on the floor, constantly re-reading your letter. He could feel the hurt and anger in your words, and it killed him. He knew Dot did something while he was away, but what? His immediate reaction was to go to Dot and confront her, but he didn’t trust that he wouldn’t hurt her. 

After what seemed like forever, there was a low knock on the door. Steve and Nat came in and saw Bucky on the floor, and quickly ran over.

“Buck? What happened man? Where’s Y/N?” Steve asked in concern.

Nat picked up the letter and read it, immediately getting angry. “What the fuck did you do now Barnes? You promised that you wouldn’t fuck up again,” Nat said.

Bucky turned to Nat with a mix of sadness and anger, “I didn’t do anything! I was on the mission with you. I came up from Medbay and found her letter. Dot must have done something while we were away. I have to find Y/N. I need to fix this,” Bucky said with tears running down his face.

Nat felt sorry for the super soldier, but her anger immediately switched to Dot. What did that bitch do to you that you upped and left with no word. Nat looked at Steve who also looked angry.

“Have you spoken to Dot yet?” Steve asked.

Bucky shook his head, “I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t hurt or kill her. I’ve been here since I saw the note. What if I never get Y/N back? She... she is the love of my life Steve. I need to find her,” Bucky begged.

“I’ll help you find her, but I think we need to find out what Dot did before we talk to Y/N. At least so you know what you are dealing with,” Nat said.

Steve shook his head, “Dot won’t tell us anything. She was a manipulative bitch back in the day. I can’t imagine how bad she is now that she wasn’t allowed to have what she wanted,” Steve said angrily.

Nat was shocked at Steve’s outburst, but thought about how they could fix this. “What if we manipulate the situation from here on out,” Nat said with a smirk.

Both men look at Nat cautiously, “What do you mean?” Bucky asked.

“I might have a plan,” Nat said.

--

You had walked around the city with your bags for hours. Part of you were shocked that Bucky didn’t come running for you immediately, but then you remembered you left everything at the compound so he would have trouble finding you. You look out over the water, thinking of where to go from here.

For the first time since the incident happened, you allowed yourself to cry. You were so sure that Bucky would never hurt you like this. You were so sure that Bucky loved you like she said. You thought you could trust him. But know you know that everything you thought you knew about the man you loved was a flat out lie.

You thought coming back to the city from the compound was good enough, but the amount of memories you have with Bucky here suffocate you. You knew that staying in the city is too close. Plus, you figured eventually Bucky would come running with some fake as apology. You wish you could smack him and his precious Dot right across the face.

How stupid you were to forgive him when you knew how important Dot was to him. I mean he never shut up about her before she miraculously found her way into this century. Why did you think he would just ignore her for you? You were nothing compared to the love of his life. The woman he compared all women to. The one who got to see the charming James Buchanan Barnes in the flesh before his life drastically changed. 

You secretly hope that she doesn’t hurt him when she realizes he is not the same man. If and when she knows of the trauma he has been through, and what he did for so many years. You didn’t care about any of that, but you could see the princess having a problem. 

You shook your head at yourself for caring what happens with them from here on out. “Come on, Y/N! He doesn’t matter anymore. He doesn’t love or respect you. Forget about him!,” you scold yourself.

You look out at the water and think of where to go from here. You have no family except for the Avengers, and you can’t and won’t go back to compound. You don’t want to reach out to anyone yet, so that Bucky can’t find you. You think for a few minutes before a thought hits you. You knew where to go.

You find yourself heading toward Port Authority Bus Terminal. You were getting on a bus and getting the hell out of here. Once you find yourself settled you would call Nat and Wanda and let them know you are safe. You had gotten a burner phone before leaving in case. They are the only one’s you can trust at the moment. Well maybe Tony also. But everyone else might tell Bucky where you are. And you officially am cutting him from your life for good.

You climb onto the bus and put your bags above you and sit. Once you leave the city Bucky will be nothing but a distant memory. Nothing but a mistake you will learn from. Nothing. As the bus leaves the city you feel a mix of relief and heartbreak. 

Then the burner phone starts to vibrate. No one knew the number so you can’t help but be nervous. You cautiously pick it up and before you can speak you hear your best friend.

“Y/N, don’t hang up,” Nat said.

--

Chapter 5 / Chapter 7

Sorry this chapter kinda sucks and is short. It’s filler mostly, however I think you will like what’s coming. Feedback is appreciated.

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

Story Taglist: @afuckingshituniverse @wintrfld @cherries-and-berries @ilovemarvelanne1 @lilli2411 @minty-fiction @peakywitch @blue-mostacho @r0bbieshapiro @uncreativezx @sarahjoestewy-blog @geekanista @imtaashu @vicmc624 @browneyedgirl365 @happinessinthebeing @leyannrae @austynparksandpizza 

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I FORGOT ANYONE!

[starglow-xx]

hello! may i request headcanons for chuuya having a crush on someone who's dense? like he could ask them out in the most straightforward way possible and it would still go over their head?

yes, yes of course you may!

sorry this took so long! my computer was out of commission for abt a week (or two..??)

but this is also my birthday writing piece for chuuya!! (4/29/21) i even added a small drabble thingy in addition to the hcs for the occasion hehe

from where i am, it is about fifteen minutes past midnight so it’s officially chuuya day here!!

happy birthday chuuya i love you! you deserve the whole world and everyone is willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure your happiness! we love you! 💗💗

anyways, i hope you all enjoy this! i kinda had some writer’s block but it was still a lot of fun to write! there might be some mistakes, but i’ll scan over it again later. reader is gender neutral! have fun!

chuuya having a crush on a dense! reader

nakahara chuuya x gn! reader

im cackling somebody help him

he’s frustrated bc you can’t take a hint or a thousand but he can’t even be mad bc he’s whipped

“look at you all dressed up today, wanna go out later? my treat?”

“oh really? thanks chuuya-san! you’re such a nice friend. i’ll go invite the others right now, i’ll see you later!”

“...”

fast forward to later in the evening and he finds himself at a little restaurant with the black lizard + higuchi and akutagawa

sigh

in unison all of them go, “thank you for the meal chuuya-san!” (except aku and hirotsu are quieter & and gin just a nods hehe)

“no problem” (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

gin only pats him on the back in sympathy

he spends a lot of time trying to think of ways to make it absolutely and undeniably clear that he has feelings for you

he always fails

“(y/n) i like you”

“i like you too chuuya-san”

“really?”

“mhm”

“t-then will you—”

“you’re a really great friend! and superior too”

“...nevermind”

“oh were you saying something?”

“nah, just forget about it”

tachihara is laughing in the corner of the corridor

dont worry, chuuya made sure to get back at him

chuuya’s been pinning after you for years and frankly, his failed attempts to woo you has lead everyone to the breaking point

and i mean everyone

yes, even aku

hell even dazai

but dazai also thinks it’s funny, so he doesn’t mind all that much

okay bye bye dazai-san this headcanon set isn’t abt you rn

PLEASE EVERYONE FEELS SO BAD FOR HIM

they knew even if he kissed you, you still might not get it

so they decided to help him

super secret mission get chuuya and (y/n) together is a go!

they’re still working on a proper mission name, don’t mind them

they had a super secret strategy meeting!

you can bet your ass that they nearly got nothing done

akutagawa & kaiji weren’t much help, neither was higuchi, mori, or elise

tachihara nearly got killed for a thoughtless comment

“just tell them chuuya-san!”

“i already fucking did you ass!”

gin, hirotsu, and kouyou were the most helpful !!

hirotsu and kouyou both agreed on the idea that chuuya should try courting with bouquets of flowers instead of flat out asking you bc they knew you found them pretty

(even if you don’t identify as a female, flowers are for everyone no matter gender or sexuality! so let’s normalize giving flowers to everyone <33 )

gin didn’t speak but she used cards to communicate

everyone knew that you weren’t stupid (you wouldn’t have survived in the mafia if you were) but they did know that you were only stupid when it came to all this lovey dovey stuff

i mean, if chuuya gave you flowers every so often, there’s no way that you wouldn’t piece it together at some point

right...??

but kouyou assured him that even though you wouldn’t get it right away, you’d appreciate the gestures and that he’ll stand out more

she even said that if someone gave her flowers, she would appreciate it, whether or not she reciprocated their feelings

it takes guts to be so up front with your feelings after all

gin and hirotsu only nodded with her explanation

once again, this only provoked a reaction out of tachihara

“what do you know gin? i get the old man and kouyou-san, they’re grown, but you? what do you know abt courting? or flowers? what are you a girl?”

akutagawa choked on his cough, higuchi on air, and on the other side of yokohoma at the ada, dazai is cackling

yes, dazai somehow placed a listening device onto chuuya’s hat and was listening in

don’t ask how, it’s dazai

“DAZAI GET YOUR BANDAGED ASS OFF THE COUCH AND STOP LAUGHING”

anyways

the next day, chuuya did what was barely discussed and for once, things actually started to look up

until they started look to down again

at first, it actually looked like you understood his intentions after he gave you a bouquet of flowers

literally everyone was leaning against the opposite hallway you two were in and then they got excited !!

especially chuuya !

but then your expression sort of changed...??

and then in their heads they simultaneously went, “oh no”

they knew that expression

it was very familiar when you tended to friend zone chuuya

but boy let me tell you what you said next made them facepalm and or make their jaws drop

“ah, so you really are friend zoning me huh chuuya-san; what a shame, i really did like you”

LEMME TELL YOU WHEN I SAY THAT CHUUYA WAS DISTRESSED I MEAN HE WAS DISTRESSED

you liked him??

him of all people??

he wasn’t complaining, no of course not, but he still couldn’t believe it

but that wasn’t what he was really focusing on right now

what in any form or language did it say he was friend zoning you?!

flower language apparently

chuuya chose to buy the bouquet of yellow roses, pink carnations, and yellow carnations bc he thought you would appreciate the brighter colors, and so that you’d remember them better (because remembering them, meant remembering him)

but ooh boy

altogether, they meant the exact opposite message he wanted to send

someone help him pls

“you see chuuya-san, yellow roses mean friendship, pink carnations mean gratitude, and yellow carnations mean rejection; sooo in a nutshell, these pretty much say ‘thank you for being my friend, but im rejecting you”

no one can tell if tachihara is crying or wheezing

and dazai is having the time of his life

yes, he started listening in on him again

and chuuya is just stunned

like speechless and unmoving stunned

is he just bad at this whole courting/dating thing?? it’s only been one day and of it and somehow he was the one doing the rejecting??

“thank you for the flowers chuuya-san, i’ll be going now; i’ll make sure to let this affect our friendship. i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you passed by the not so subtle group of people

“tachihara-kun..?? are you alright?”

just for context, he was leaning his forehead against the wall using his forearm

again, it was hard to tell whether he was crying or wheezing

“i-im okay (y/n)-san...i think c-chuuya-san has it worse than me”

“...okay..?”

BACK TO CHUUYA

he’s still frozen poor baby

but it’s okay bc after like 5 more seconds he’s chasing you down the hallway you were walking in

kouyou, with a knowing smile on her face, ushers everyone away towards the opposite direction

she received some whines (ahem, tachihara and mori) but silenced them by summoning golden demon

but it’s okay

if they run fast enough, they can see what happens through the security cameras

chuuya caught up with you and tried to explain everything but he was exhausted

emotionally, physically (bc since when did you walk that fast??), and generally just tired with the whole situation

he just wanted to call you his; was that too much to ask??

as explosive as he can be, he can be calm and collected too

and he really did try to be that way as he talked with you but it was very difficult at the moment

the dumbfounded and confused look on your face his face twitch with annoyance and his heart started beating faster bc god you were cute

BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT RIGHT NOW

thank goodness after what seemed like years, you finally somewhat understood what happened

you didn’t understand completely but it was something

The two of you stood in the middle of the unusually empty hallway facing each other, you with the bouquet still in hand. It was quiet as you and Chuuya assessed the situation.

You looked at him skeptically and he stared right back you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“...So you do like me Chuuya-san??”

“Yes”

“And you were trying to court me just now, not friend zone me??”

“Yes”

You got most of your questions out of the way, but there was something that you’ve been wondering about for quite a while.

“...So you’re not gay for Dazai-san??”

“Yes, im not wait—GAY FOR DAZAI?? THAT MACKEREL??”

Chuuya did a double take. What in heavens name made it seem like he liked that suicidal maniac?? Why would he choose him if he had you?

Like he would choose him anyways; or ever consider him as a possible romantic partner.

“Oh, so you are?”

“NO! I SAID I LIKED YOU DIDN’T I?”

“Well yeah, but I thought you liked Dazai-san too. As annoying as he is, he can be quite charming—”

He was out of patience at this point (nope definitely not because you were talking about Dazai who told you that?) and just decided to kiss you.

You immediately melted into the kiss and kissed him back with the same amount of love and feeling.

Letting the bouquet fall to the ground, you wrapped you arms around his neck and his put his on your lower back and brought you closer to him. After a few more moments, the two of you broke apart for air.

The two of you, slightly out of breath, leaned your foreheads against each other and just basked in each others presence.

Chuuya looked into your (e/c) eyes and asked you just a little bit above a whisper, “Now do you get my intentions and feeling?”

You blinked at him before breaking out into a grin, “Hmm I’m not sure; do you wanna do that again Chuuya?”

The red head only blinked back at you before rolling his eyes, a smile present on his handsome features, his heart fluttering at you using his name with the honorific.

“Dumbass”

Smiling cheekily at him, you pressed a kiss on his cheek and started dragging him towards the lobby to take a walk around the building perimeter, knowing that the two of you can’t be too far from work.

The way down to the lobby was mostly in comfortable silence until you said something that made Chuuya want to bash his head against the wall.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you liked me Chuuya. It’s not like I would’ve said no.”

Once again, as the rest of the more power mafia members watch from security cameras, it is hard to tell whether Tachihara is crying or wheezing of laughter.

omake !!

The two of you just started making your way around the building when suddenly a very familiar voice came from Chuuya’s prized hat.

“Chuuyaaaa!! It was about time you stopped being a chicken, Chibi!”

Removing his hat from his head, he started yelling at it not knowing exactly where the listening device was planted.

“TEME! HOW DID YOU—”

“And (y/n)! I would congratulate you, but I think I would rather offer you my condolences. Why him?! He’s just a slimy slug. OOH OOH how would you like to join me in a double suicide?! A shame it won’t be a lover’s suicide but it’ll annoy Chuuya so I think it’ll be worth it! ”

“YOU—”

“And please don’t kiss while I’m listening in. You made me lose my appetite! And it was such a shame! I was eating crab using Kunikida-kun’s money! Do you know what you’ve cost me?!”

“DAZAI YOU PIECE OF—”

“Ah! Kunikida-kun is here! I have to go!”

You can hear something is the background that vaguely sounds like, “DAZAI YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES STOP USING MY MONEY”

“DAZAI DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE IM NOT DONE WITH—”

*Click!*

The click sound from the hat revealed that Dazai disconnected.

Chuuya twitched and glared furiously at his signature hat hating that the voice he hated the most came out of it.

“Aww, I didn’t get to talk to Dazai-san”

Chuuya whipped his head towards you, a look of mock (or real) betrayal showing on his features.

You laughed at him before taking the hat out of his hands and placing it on his head.

He shyly looked away before muttering a thanks making you smile wider. Just as the two of you were about to start walking, a small explosion erupted from his hat; it was likely that Dazai made the listening device self destruct.

“DAZAI YOU BASTARDD”

At the Armed Detective Agency, a certain suicidal maniac hid from the wrath of his current partner as he thought about the wrath his old one.

“Hmmm I wonder if Chuuya would finally stop wearing his ugly hats if I blow all of them up...”

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[chocominnie]

One Last Time 06 —  Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Word Count : 3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

‘‘ I swear I am going to have someone beat your ass Park Jimin!’’

‘‘ It’s not my fucking fault! I broke up with her but you lead her to the apartment  knowing she’ll follow!’‘

‘‘ Damn it Jimin im going to kick your ass!’‘

Your eyes pop open just in time to see Jungkook on-top of Jimin hitting him repeatedly on the face while Jimin manages to push him off of him and begin his fist fight against him. He straddles Jungkook to the floor and punches are thrown left and right. Now the sudden headache of seeing the two brothers fight has began in your head and you cannot stand hearing the groaning and yelling between them. Bringing your hand up to signal them to stop, you realize they don’t even know you’ve awakened.

 Jungkook on the other hand is not having it so he throws Jimin off of him harshly making Jimin groan. The way he grabs Jimin’s collar with venom fast strength finally gives you the courage to yell out to them.

‘‘ Stop! Damn it, you two are like literal fucking teenagers. Act your age!”

The both of them turn their heads toward you slowly. Jungkook drops his fist, which was going to connect with Jimin’s face. You take a good look at them. Freshly bruised from each-other. Great.

‘‘ You think fighting is going to solve this problem huh? Get over here now.” You say, eyebrows furrowed in anger.

Jungkook gives Jimin a death glare before rushing to your side and feeling your forehead. You slap his hand away and pull him down by his shirt only for him to recieve a harsh slap to the forehead.

‘‘ Shit!” He stumbles back and rubs his forehead. He shoots you a glare, wanting to yell at you but doesn’t.  You motion for Jimin to come to you too. He raises his eyebrows in amusement.

‘‘ I don’t think it’s necessary for you to do that..” He says, as if your death glare towards him isn’t enough to tell him you aren’t joking whatsoever.

He gets the memo when you disregard his comments before hanging his head low and bending down a little to your height. One slap against the forehead and two across the wrists.

‘‘ That’s for you fighting He was only looking out for me. The last two were for having a psychotic girlfriend who almost killed me. Look at my wrist!’‘

You hold them out to see two I.V’s, one for blood transfusion and the other a regular for nutrients on your right wrist. Both of them bandaged up which does need to be changed because of the old blood.

‘‘ I know and I’m sorry. I didn’t know she would be this upset.’‘ Jimin says, hanging his head low. Jungkook rolls his eyes at him out of annoyance.

‘‘ Whatever. I already called my lawyer for your case. Since Isabel tried to attempt murder to you, you will win this case for sure.’‘ He proudly leans against the wall hoping to atleast crack a smile from you.

You don’t smile though. The last thing you need is another scandal. If this were to make the news and blogs right now then it could be a bad thing. You’ve just started your modeling career again and right now would be the worst time to have something like that. 

Jimin leans on the wall with his hands in his pockets, still avoiding locking eyes with you which is something he usually does. Something tells you that he’s hiding something. Something that you just can’t put your finger on.

‘‘ The police will come shortly for witness statements and your statement. Then they’ll call for a court date as soon as possible.’‘ Jimin’s voice low, illuminating with a hint of sadness.

Out of curiosity you want to say something more. To ask him whats going on and why he’s acting rather like this. It’s really not like him. He’s hiding something for sure and you just cannot put your finger on it. You just agree and pull out your phone. A missed call from Ryan. You try texting her and she almost always responds immediately. This time she doesn’t. What’s really going on?

You don’t know but Ryan took it upon herself to pay Isabel a visit. Usually visitors aren’t allowed for people in holding but with a little sweet talk of hers she got to get atleast 10 minutes to talk. That’s all she needs. When it comes to you, her bestfriend, she never messes around. Hearing the news from Jungkook yesterday she almost went luncatic. Throwing things at him, calling his brother every disrespectful name in the book. Oh she hates him now for sure.

Jungkook had to stop her from going over to the hospital to beat his ass into a bloody pulp for causing you pain and getting together with that crazy girl just to break up with her. Ryan was heated. 

But now she can take this heat and serve some to Isabel right now. She walks with confidence into the room. Nothing and nobody can stop her and if they even try, she’ll chew them up and spit them out. Catching a glimpise of Isabel sitting at the table with her hands cuffed and security next to her, Ryan shoots her a devious glare.

‘‘ What brings you here? I expected my boyfr-’‘

A harsh slam from her hands hit the table as she bends a little to her seated level, ‘‘ He’ not your fucking boyfriend. You were lucky I wasn’t there to beat your fucking ass.”

The guard tenses up at the sounds and sudden movements. Ryan notices, and decides to take her seat to calm down before she’s the one sitting behind the jail bars too. 

‘‘ Ryan.. I thought we were friends?’‘ She frowns, pouting her lips while fake wiping tears away. 

Ryan scoffs,shaking her head ever so slowly with a devilish grin on her face. “ We aren’t. Don’t let me catch you un-attended without your manager or body guard.. Isabel.’’

Isabel laughs one of her evil laughs, throwing her head back then coming back up, “ Oh how cute. Is this a threat from little ol’ you? Me and Jimin were doing just fine before your bestfriend had decided to enter his life again. I’m not the only bad guy here. She should know boundaries for taken men. Ex’s aren’t supposed to be firendly and lovey dovey. Spending nights and going everywhere with each other. Especially when one’s a famous idol with another idol girlfriend. Do I make myself clear?”

“ Maybe you should take that up with your hoe of a boyfriend. He’s the one who can’t leave her alone.” She yells, inches away from Isabel’s face. The two stare at each other long and hard. Isabel is no match for Ryan though.

The guard clears his throat to break the two’s glares. The tension is thick in the air.

“ If you ever touch yn again, I’ll make sure you’re the one in the hospital this time around.”

‘‘ You’ll all see. I’ll win this court case. Trust me… there’s things you do not know.” 

Ryan rolls her eyes, strutting her way out the room with the sound of her heels clicking right behind her. Consider the message recieved. 

It’s been one week after the situation. In which in between those days you were dismissed from the hospital and have been in at Jimin’s house ever since. You didn’t want to be here. You want to be at home with your cat, Clara. Jungkook’s been going over to feed and play with her. Jimin kept pleading for you not to return home just yet because it could be a danger to you. It makes sense. You never know what Isabel has up her sleeve. 

So you’ve been sitting here doing the same old thing everyday. Eat, watch movies and netflix tv shows,  sleep, and repeat.

Jimin would come in and out of his home studio to check in on you. He still has to work on producing and singing his songs. He’d bring the food and your medicine he prepared per usual,  kiss your forehead, and go right back out to producing his highly anticipated album.

It all seems fake to you. Something is off. Something is not being told to you. You can feel it in your gut but can’t put a finger on it.

‘‘ This is so cliche.’‘ You murmur to yourself, switching the flat-screen T.V off.

And as if on cue Jimin comes inside your- well his room with a glass of water and prescribed pain killers for you. The slight smile on his face makes you want to smile but you don’t.

‘‘ Smile for ocne yn. Do you not like staying here?’‘ He says, sitting next to you on the side of the bed and places the glass in your hands.

You furrow your eyebrows at him, taking the two pills out of his palm. “ No.. but be honest with me Jimin okay?”

His face turns a quick shade of pink then pale as if you had said the wrong choice of words at the wrong time. As if he had seen a ghost at this very moment. That’s not a good sign at all.

‘‘ Are you.. hiding something from me?’‘

The atmosphere is thick and silence fills the room. You don’t say anything and he doesn’t either. Your eyes meet his and for once they don’t pull away first. 

Jimin doesn’t know how to break it to you though. It’s now or never.

‘‘ She will never leave me.”

You bite your lip hard, “ What do you mean?”

“ That she said that she’d do everything to ruin our relationship if we continue to persue one. She’d spready rumors about you to Dispatch. Make a scene whenver you’re near me. Anything she can do, she will do it.”

You don’t know how to take this all in. You knew Isabel was possesive but not this possesive. The thought of her doing things on purpose for you to make everyone hate you makes you want to cry. To just bawl your eyes out right here right now. You can’t.. you won’t do it. 

You won’t give in because thats what she wants. To make you cry. To ruin your reputation and work. Jimin came back into your life and of course you don’t know what to do or how to deal with it. But this is what you wanted right? You’ve been longing for you and him to get a second chance. It’s you. You’re the one who’s been putting things off and not letting things go with the flow. Maybe he came back to you because he realized how wrong he was for cheating on you. For leaving you behind. For not seeing things for truly how it is. 

You knew Isabel was bad luck from the beginning. Now is the time to try and take back what was originally yours. That will hurt her more than ever. 

“ She needs to have a reality check. Not everything revolves around her.”

‘‘ I agree. Putting her behind bars might give her a reality check. It should serve her right for harming people.” Jimin sighs. 

The silence is thick. You both don’t know what to say and it’s sure as hell awkward more than ever right now. Until that silence breaks. 

‘‘ I feel like you aren’t being your true self to me. If we are getting things out now.” 

His sudden comment makes you lift your head up from playing with the comforter. “ What do you mean?’’

‘‘ You.. don’t want to take actions on what you feel, say, or want to do with or about me. It’s killing me inside.”

He’s right. You do try to push your feelings aside no matter what the cause is. It’s just you trying to not set yourself up for hearbreak again. You do want him. You do want everything to do with him. Considering the things that happened in the past, it’s no doubt theres a fence guarding your heart from intruders. 

You exhale out heavily, “ Im just.. scared.’’

‘‘ Of? “

‘‘ Being hurt again.”

Dead silence again. This time he’s the one trying to come up with words to redirect your view of him. Yes, he broke your heart in the worst way possible. He wants you to see he’s changed. 

Jimin bites his lip, voice shaky when he begins talking again. ‘‘ How can I show you that i’m not the same anymore. Im not I promise you. I want you to see I have changed. I know it’s my fault. I destroyed you but let me fix it.”

It’s all come down to this. You’ve wanted this and now is the chance to get it. Now is the chance to have what was once yours. But the feeling of doubt had taken its course on you at the worst time.

‘‘ Jimin.. how do I know that for sure?’‘ You say, unintentionally fluttering your eyes at him. To you it’s to prevent from letting tears fall. 

Jimin see’s it as that specific thing you used to do when you wanted him. When you craved him and would drop hints. To be completely honest, you do crave him. You do want him. Make-up sex was something you two used to do often. It was your toxic way of saying im sorry. 

Somehow you want to put that toxic thing into action right now. As fucked up as it is, that’s how you two know you’re sorry towards each other. Actions speak louder than words. 

He closes his eyes for a quick second before clenching his jaw to contain himself. Your weak spot.

‘‘ Stop doing that. Unless you want to start something you don’t want to finish.” 

You smile just a little, hoping he’d get the memo. “ What if I do want to start and finish it..”

As if a car alarm went off, Jimin’s eyes pop back open with a suprised look. That’s the last thing he’d thought he’d be hearing from you. “ Are you sure about that? I mean we don’t have t-”

You lean in closer to where you guys are inches apart, his lips softly rubbing against yours. “ I’m all for it.”

Within seconds, Jimin’s shirt is removed off of you only revealing your blue panties which have became a little soaked with your wetness. He takes in the scent of you before his mouth connects with your thighs, slightly sucking to leave bruises on you.

‘‘ Jimin.. don’t tease me.”  You sigh, laying fully down to spread your legs even more. He hums against your skin making you catch chills up and down your spine.

‘‘ That’s my specialty baby. You know that.” He trails a kiss with each word all the way down to your core where he dips a finger inside. You tense up attempting to close your legs. He doesn’t allow it, spreading them open harshly again. 

‘’ Jimin-’‘ You barely utter before he begins to move his fingers in and out of you slowly. You let out a whine to try and make him go faster but it doesn’t work.

He comes up to your mouth and plants a wet, sloppy kiss. “ No whining. You’re gonna get what you want. Just relax baby.”

Is all he tells you before he goes back down to your core to tend to your desires.

The first lick between your legs is ever so gentle. Too gentle for you right now considering that you want release badly and Jimin knew exactly that. He opens his mouth and swirls his tongue up and down your slit. A groan leaves his mouth once he gets a taste of you which sends a vibration to your sensitive bud.

Each time his tongue laps against you your body jerked and shook but that only makes his tongue go faster. Sending you into a moaning and groaning mess as you tug on his hair.

“Mmh you even taste the same like always.” He moans with a smirk.

“Jimin please-” you cry out, locking your fingers into his hair when a finger is inserted into your dripping wet hole.

‘‘ No whining babygirl.’‘ His voice gentle as ever when he removes the finger inside of you making you pout a little. But that pout soon turned into your eyes becoming wide when he starts to take off his shirt, then grey sweatpants, then his underwear where his thick cock springs up.

Your eyes can’t leave his body. God it’s been a while. He looks pretty damn good. You wan’t to take all of his length in your mouth right now. To hear him praise you about how good your mouth feels against him. God you want it right now. 

He gives it a few strokes before walking over to you. Just before hovering over you, he gives you a passionate kiss while lifting up your legs and positioning them to his liking. Missionary.

The tip of him pokes at the entrance of you, teasing in and out. Soon enough he enters you slowly making both of you moan together.

You still wrap and fit around his member smug as ever, and he could not believe it. The feeling of familiarity of being inside you sends him into a moaning mess with each stroke. You can’t contain your moans and screams. He feels way too good. 

Jimin begins to deep-stroke you by pulling all the way out and slamming back in. You scream his name out in pleasure as your nails scratch up his toned back. Wet sounds fill the room with him picking up his pace. You take a glimpse of him only to admire his figure right now. Forehead forming sweat beads while he groans and moans biting his plump pink lips.

Your breathing becomes faster when that familiar feeling soon starts to take over. You turn your head to the side and let out a string of moans. Jimin isn’t having that though. His hand grabs your face gently and makes you make eye contact with him. Your legs start shaking as your head tilts back moans getting more faster. You finally let out one last one in sync with him, his hot sperm shoots inside of you.

Jimin pulls out, breathing heavily and collapses ontop of you. You let out a small grunt with the sudden extra body upon you, then giggle at him when he lays his head lays against your chest. This is what you wanted. He’s true. He’s sorry. 

‘’ I love you.”

That word surprises you. You weren’t prepared for it. Somehow though, you enjoy the fact that he’s said it to you. Love. Jimin’s love. Your love. 

‘’ I love you much more Jimin.’’ 

[girlwiththegreenhat]

hey stupid post incoming (i don’t usually post theories cuz i’m dum as shit) but my horrible little ADHD brain can't stop thinking about this now what the FUCK does this mean

i thought there was weird emphasis on that symbol in that last episode but that last post made it super obvious, except now im wondering beyond the fact that they're similar. it's pretty common for important families to have some sort of family crest, could this have been the wittebane family crest? or more specifically, something pertaining especially to the brothers - and then, considering that possibility and the rearrangement of some of the elements, really had me wondering. so. hear me out-

this leans on the 'belos is phillip' theory, but the wings represent each of the brothers. the larger pair is phillip, the smaller pair represent this ~ * ~ mystery brother ~ * ~. it's interesting that the brother's wings are on the top in the original symbol, above the pair that would represent phillip. perhaps this brother was more well-regarded than him, more notable, leaving phillip in his shadow? that's sort of even backed up by the position of their statues if you want to look at it that way, with the brother boldly placed in front and phillip in the back, not looking as much of a 'leader type' than his brother

in the coven badge, the larger pair of wings is now on top, and the smaller pair on the bottom - and notably, there is a sword through the bottom pair of wings. this just seems like a cool design choice, but i think it might be a metaphor for the fact that Phillip killed his brother. it's already been said that it’s extremely suspicious there’s no mention of his brother in his journal at all, and it's suspicious that there's a second pair of boot prints leading to Eclipse Lake (but not returning) in his retelling that match his own. Phillip obviously didn’t like his brother very much.

My theory?

The Emperor's Coven badge represents making an example of the first person that opposed the man who would become Belos - his own brother.

What reasons would he have to kill his own brother? I can think of a few possibilities.

1. We know Belos' hatred of wild magic supposedly stems from the fact that it took his family, and we know he himself is cursed under mysterious circumstances. He and Eda have some parallels, could it be that, much like Eda, his own sibling was responsible? Except, he found out about it much sooner than she did, and either lashed out in rage, or lost control of himself and killed him by mistake? In both cases, intentional or not, wild magic caused the death of the brother with Phillip as the catalyst.

2. Could it be that Phillip saw natural dangers to wild magic and thought up the coven system, or a similar way to restrain magic? His brother disagreed, saying magic should be kept the way it is, and eventually causing a fight that would lead to the brother’s death? In this case, it wouldn’t necessarily be wild magic directly that took his family, but rather his family’s attachment to it.

3. The other brother was dabbling openly with magic, but his inexperience or cockiness with it caused the death of friends and family they had made in the demon realm, leaving only the two brothers. (Maybe even also cursing his brother in the process?) Phillip has a damn good and direct reason to hate wild magic now, and kills his brother in revenge.

4. FOURTH IDEA I’M THROWING IN HERE REAL QUICK BEFORE POSTING: A twist on the previous idea, Phillip was also dabbling in wild magic, and it was his own inexperience with it that caused the death of his brother, and he shifted the blame to wild magic as a whole to cope.

To take a quick tangent, if we consider the "Rascal was the other Wittebane brother's palisman" theory - it would be interesting if Rascal's scar was from trying to defend his original witch from Belos in the fight that would ultimately claim his life. It would parallel Hunter’s scars too, or at least the one on his face which is implied to have come from Belos.

None of these theories account for why Belos would bring back his brother as Hunter if he wanted him dead so bad though (unless you take #4, in which his death was truly an accident), or his connection to the titan, or why he wants to get back to the human realm 🤔 (magic doesn’t work all that well in the human realm, it would be Really funny if he was just trying to get here in hopes that his curse would go away once he did asdkfljskldf. “bye losers, i’m off to the realm where magic cancer can’t catch me”) But I keep thinking about Dana’s line from the AMA, that “witch & human lifespans are identical, unless they find a way to extend them...” implying that people have done that before.

Like Phillip.

Except my only problem with that is why the hell did Phillip wait like 350 years before becoming emperor?? What was he doing that whole time, sitting in a cave somewhere?? It’s strange that he doesn’t seem to like wild magic because it took something personal from him, implying he thinks he’s keeping people safe and doing them a favor - but at the same time it’s sort of set up that the real reason they’re restricting magic is to keep people weaker and give more power to the covens, which they apparently need for the “day of unity”. The whole “wild magic killed my family :^(” shtick might be a lie entirely, or a severe twisting of the truth. We know Belos is manipulative as hell, who knows if his fondness of the human realm is even genuine? Something, somewhere about what he says is horse shit, but we don’t have enough pieces yet to figure that out. But I’m getting ahead of myself, I meant to just ramble about the connections between this symbol and the Emperor’s Coven badge asldkfkjldf. There’s more mysteries here obviously and we’ve got a whole half season and a mini-season to go.

tl;dr the symbol from the historical society is very directly connected to the Wittebane brothers, Phillip is Belos, Phillip killed his brother and this fact is represented in the Coven badge as what happened to the first person to truly oppose Belos and also what arguably kicked off the empire in the first place.

It’s 1:30 AM and I can’t wait for the third person to see this post go “oh actually,″ and say something that absolutely disproves everything here lmfao. anyway-