#im gonna be honest i dont even understand what im talking about at this point

[miya-rin]

“what the fuck do you two think youre doing?”

shit, you think, you didnt notice the balcony door had been slid open until you heard the voice of one of your brothers. you start to pull away from suna’s lips which earns you a small whine from his end, his grip tightens around you and honestly it its quite cute the way he is trying so hard to savour the moment. “come back later, we’re kinda busy.” the boy mutters before trying to move your face away from the distraction so that he can kiss you once more.

“suna you get your hands off of her right now, i dont give a fuck that its your birthday.” osamu pipes up, he looks furious and a little bit disgusted, if it hadnt been for the situation youre in right now you would think its kind of funny.

“samu lay off him, it was a mutual agreement, im just as guilty as he is ok?” that does not seem to help the boys understand, if anything they seem even more angry with you both.

“what the fuck do you mean it was a mutual agreement? are you two hooking up or something? yn he just turned 18 a few hours ago are you forgetting that?” atsumu says, he is rambling on with every excuse he can think of as to why this is “so wrong”, from the corner of your eye you can see suna trying so very hard to hide the grin that is creeping its way onto his face, his hands still all over you despite the fact that you arent alone anymore.

“listen, it was his birthday wish ok? i swear it didn’t mean anything,” sunas grip begins to loosen ever so slightly, “i just though it would get him off my back and get him over his little crush on me.” suna’s facial expression shifts but you choose to ignore it, you have bigger problems to deal with at the moment.

“no this is not ok, how would you feel if me or samu kissed one of your friends because it was their birthday wish?”

“that’s different, why would my friends want to kiss either of you?”

“excuse me? ill have you know that many women want to kiss me! and dont think youre getting off the hook either suna, ill make sure you never-“ you dont even want to hear the threat that is about to come out of his mouth, you just want to get out of this shitty situation.

“boys please, just give us five minutes to talk and then we will be back inside ok? i promise.” your efforts to plead with your brothers finally work.

“…fine,” atsumu mumbles, “but this better be a one time thing. im not gonna deal with you two being all lovey dovey around me.” and with that he lightly tugs on osamu’s sleeve, signalling him to walk back inside and continue the party. he closes the balcony door but not before bringing two fingers up to his eyes and then pointing them at the two of you. its a warning.

you turn back to suna and notice the sad look on his face - he looks kinda cute like this, “so, what do-“.

“did you really mean what you just said to them?” the poor boy looks heartbroken, after waiting three years to finally have a chance with the girl he loves wants the moment is ruined like that? “did you actually just do that so i would leave you alone?” his hands fully leave your body now and he takes a step back to put some distance between you two.

“well i mean sort of yeah… ive never looked at you in any way other than my brothers best friend if im going to be honest, i dont know if thats because of the age difference or what but ive never thought we could be anything.” the look of hurt is prominent on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it, normally playful banter would have been thrown back and forth between the two of you but rintarou just stays silent, an indication that youve fucked up.

“listen suna i dont know what you want me to say, i wasnt really thinking when i said that to atsumu it just came out. i am 4 years older than you and many people would not approve of us if i decided to give you a chance.”

“who cares? i could treat you so right if you would just let me. i have waited entirely too long for this moment, all im asking for is one date.”

“you said that about the kiss too, one thing is never enough with you is it? you always need more.” a playful smile creeps onto your face which is outshined by the one on sunas, he knows that your smile means that you agree to go on a date with him.

“i really hope you arent fucking with me right now, that would be so cruel, especially on my birthday.”

“oh give the birthday excuse a rest now will you? you dont need to keep on at me you have already got what you want.”

“mhm i absolutely have,” he walks closer and once again wraps his arms around you, placing a hand under your jawbone to make you look up at him, “and i couldnt be happier.” he states as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss once more <3

[the-s1lly-corner]

alright, so i completely understand if you don't wanna do this since you have been getting a lot of tadc requests, so feel free to leave this in your inbox for a while but its worth a shot i guess.

tadc x angel reader? but im not talking about the cute and adoring ones, moresore the bibical angel type. kind of like principalities angels if you know what that is. scary stuff.

thanks for all that you do btw, i love your writing and as a fanfiction writer myself im amazed at how quickly your able to pump out requests

thanks for reading

TADC cast x angel!reader !

took me a hot minute to find it but someone asked for the same/very similar request for zooble so!! that post is going to be linked in place of their segment! yahoo! uhuhuhuh!! admin must admit, he does not know much about actual angel lore so hes gonna be real loose with this </3 aaaand to the last part!! its the silliness... i cant contain it... sobs...

CAINE:

now i dont know what kind of personality the reader has, but imagine your wings stick out and fluff up when he decides hes bold enough to compliment, or even flirt with you... has probably led to him getting smacked by your wings and being sent flying... the price of being small, sadly... though he did kind of have it coming for standing where he was/j

sometimes, you guys fly together, since caine very rarely walks around on the ground and kind of just glides around... its nice having someone who can accompany him around... doesnt think your intimidating, if anything he thinks you look interesting... hes probably unphased by most of the forms circus members may take, though its rare you get someone who does look unsettling... shrugs

POMNI:

honestly probably a little intimidated, and perhaps even unnerved in the beginning. like not in the "im deeply uncomfortable" way but more like "oh. so thats a thing" if that makes sense? does try to be nice and kind to you, though, since she does understand that this isnt what you really look like and you cant really... control it... probably has sneezed from the feathers of your wings, if you have any.. in fact you might have accidentally smacked her with them, since shes so small.. you didnt mean to..! honest! caine and pomni just got cursed with the shortness... no thoughts, only angel reader protectively shielding someone with their wings, this can apply to any of the characters... probably one of my favorite tropes for characters with large wings tbh

RAGATHA:

if you can swap out your clothes or have clothes that are detachable (since clothes are canonically stuck to the bodies) shes definitely going to make you some clothing that you can easily slip over your wings, and still have them out! plus spending time with you making the measurements and trying out patterns and fabric is nice! thinks your wings are soft... probably a little put off by your appearance and vibe at first, but ragatha being ragatha shes not going to let it bother her for long, and she makes sure youre welcomed to the circus with open arms... i mean its not like you have a choice to leave... may as well be as inviting as possible..!

JAX:

drum roll please! its the admins favorite jax headcannon that always rears its head in whenever the admin writes a reader who has some extra body part or fluff or accessories or a combination! the fidget/fiddle headcannon! this man is likely going to stroke and mess with your wings, a lot. congrats, youre his new fidget toy/j. has probably accidentally, or perhaps no so accidentally, pulled a feather out. granted im not sure how much it would hurt, i think it would be akin to plucking hair with a tweezer, but the point still stands..! has probably asked you to fly him up somewhere... totally not so he can do some mischief... probably doesnt know much about angels (like the admin LMAO) and probably labels you as like. sterotypical cartoon angel personality (forgiving, kind, good, ect. basically everything that isnt jax/j) but whether or not thats true its up to you... though it would be a little funny for the person who looks like an angel being a trickster... shrugs

KINGER:

FEAR!!! okay... well i think thats a given when theres a new circus member around, since kinger is a little... eh... you know? probably takes some time to warm up to you, but given how he speaks to pomni in the pilot within the first few minutes of her being there, i dont think it would take long for him to approach you. definitely polite, probably even more so thanks to your angelic appearance. mmngh.. soft feathers... shares the jax fidget headcannon with the silly chess piece... bonus if you actually are really kind and protective, this man would be hovering around you since you kind of represent comfort to him... thinks...

ZOOBLE:

right here!

GANGLE:

while most of the others are a little intimidated i think gangle actually likes the aesthetics of angels. maybe thats just the artist in her; like every artist ive met either has a soft spot for angel or demon characters... sometimes both.. admins no exception, its like. mandatory artist trait/j

i had a winged reader request somewhere, where gangle puts the readers fallen feathers into art work and gifts it to them. kind of like how people used to put the hair of their loved ones in jewelry... i think that would also apply to an angel reader! similar to kinger, if youre protective shes going to gravitate towards you... given that shes made of ribbon and fragile... and because of SOOOOOMEONE (glares at jax)... very nice dynamic/relationship material here, me thinks

[starzshopoflove]

Can I get ghost comfort for someone who doesn't eat because of anxiety?

omg i love this ask so much since i also have bad ass anxiety that beats on me till my meds kick in. Just gonna base this off my own kind behavior with food and eating since i have my own issues too so let me know if this is good or not!!

Notes: no warning, fluff, comfort no hurt, gn!reader

I feel like ghost wouldnt understand it at first and just think your skipping meals or not hungry. So he'd probably be a little pushy at first asking if you've had a snack or not when your together or he'll send you a text randomly in the day if you've eaten or not

But when he starts to notice how you clam up when he asks about it after the first few times he'll shut up and try to watch you a bit to see what's making you not eat. He'll start seeing how sometimes when you're on a date or just at the bookshop for lunch you might pick at your food but not really eat any of it, or how you might only eat some parts of your sandwich and leave the bread off it, sometimes you'll just not eat with him and just be there talking.

When he does finally ask you about it he tries really hard to approach it sensitively since your kinda like a skittish cat in a corner when he has asked before. So you'd be in his flat laying on his couch together and he's keeping you all warm with an arm around your waist rubbing some soothing circles so you stay relaxed while watching whatever show he let you pick.

"Dove"

"Mhm?"

"Do you not like gettin' lunch with me?"

You might freeze up on him and not talk for a moment mulling over if you really wanna tell him or not, you dont usually like talking about it. Whenever you have before people just started teetering around eating with you or acted like you had some sort of issue, treated you like you were just different.

"I like getting lunch with you Si, love getting to spend time with you"

"Yeah but you never eat anythin' with me"

You really wanted to dance around this topic some more but he just felt so warm and smelled so good you were already fused onto the couch at this point. You felt safe with him, like he wasn't going to judge you for trying to be honest with him. The way he let you slot yourself next to him tracing patterns on your skin made your blood a little warmer and your head a little fuzzy

So you finally let yourself spill out your issues hands playing with a strand of your hair that was in your face so you couldn't focus on if he was judging you or not trying not to stumble over your words

"Its not that i don't like eating with you Si, just sometimes when I'm out n I know people can see me eating makes me feel like I'm being watched and all i can think about is how loud im chewing or If i look weird when I'm eating. Then when i start thinking about it, ts' like there's a hole in my stomach and if i try to fill it, might just come right back up. But if I do make myself eat then i have to think about how full I feel n how i can feel the weight of the food in my stomach n once i start thinkin about that i start feelin sick again"

The whole time you let out you meek confession Simon was holding you a little closer loosening his grip so you didn't feel trapped, resting his chin on your head still keeping a warm hand around you to keep you relaxed. He let you speak without cutting you off even when you paused to try to figure out what you feel and put it into words he keep comforting you with his touch and softly nudging you to keep going

"Wish you didn't feel like you had to hide this from me luv, I care about you. Never want you to feel like you're stressin' yourself out for my sake, want you to feel safe with me and tell me when something's bothering you so i can help yeah?'"

Oh my god, whole time you feel like you could cry because he's cooing to you so sweetly and holding you so close not making you feel like you're weird or different from him just because you cant eat sometimes. You might sniffle a little which would make him worried but when he sees its just you getting a little emotional he'll calm down a little and place a kiss on your cheek murmuring about how much he cares and doesn't want you to force yourself to do something you don't like.

Feel like he'd still check to see that you atleast ate something through the day, and instead of doing dates at public places he might pick up some food and you'd eat at either one of yours's flat , sometimes at the park when he knows it wont be crowded either.

Just know he'd sometimes just pick up the fork and feed you when your looking at your food weird letting you know its alright but he'd never push if you resisting too much

__________________________________________

god i love writing soft ghost

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIES

["Trust me, Lib," I said, picturing her lips. "In a crowd of million ski masks, I'd still be able to find you."]

| ✮ 3 stars |

ᝰ.ᐟ ⊹ arc review thank you to netgalley + simon and schuster for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [minor spoilers]

ok. i put this review off for a couple days cause i knew this was gonna be harder to write because i love lynn painter books, really. buuttt i was horribly disappointed with this one. i'm the biggest wesliz fan but... like yeah i cant even form coherent thoughts about it. like this was unnecessary there was no point in shattering their relationship to write this.

like it was good to see wes's pov and everything but it felt so... idk yeah. (see im still struggling so bad to find words.)

one thing i would formally like to invite lynn to STOP doing though is shoving every taylor/ pop culture reference on the planet into the book. like holy shit woman. i few is okay BUT NOT THAT MANY COME ON!!!! they were in the middle of a fucking argument and wes is quoting illicit affairs or some bullshit. usually i love finding little references on page but this felt like too much.

i feel like she's whipped out her computer and gone straight to some dog fanpage or just plainly scrolled through edits seeing people saying "this song is so wesliz coded" and shoved those songs into the book. there is an on page reference to in between reference saying its their montage song.

also um this shit: ”little liz can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh. because she’s dead.” and somehow when jack antonoff was randomly brought up??? like some people are good at weaving taylor swift lyrics into books. lynn you are not.

also lynn take this a plea to never use the word "growl" or "growled" in a sentence ever again when describing your male characters. and to never write this sentence “she’s one of the guys you know? she’s just… different,” EVER AGAIN. PLEASE.

WHAT I DID LIKE THO WAS THE TINY TINY CRUMBS OF BAILEYCHARLIE AND NICKEMELIE (even tho nick was only mentioned and i dont think emelie was even there but eh)

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

liz - ok so weirdly enough she was the most tolerable and still intolerable at the same time. like she was so different from the liz in bttm the sunshiney, wearing dresses of all different colours and her love of romcoms. she was described as anti-love and was practically a full on different character seriously. if you liked the first book maybe dont have high expectations for nltm. like i do understand she had her heart broken and so obviously that makes sense for some of the change but it had been two years and as liz likes to say SO FUCKING MUCH "she's moved on, she's moved past it, its in the past" well for someone who's moved on you sure like to avoid the past a lot. also idk who tf she was trying to fool with that whole "i don't like wes, im over him." shit like gurl- you were literally kissing 2.5 seconds ago whats with the switching sides. and there was SO much about her leaving "little liz" behind. like what was so wrong with liking flowers and romcoms? and being a hopeless romantic and wearing bright colours?

wes - okay so it was quiet heartbreaking to hear abt wes's side of this book (except for the whole pursuing liz part) and i did feel sorry for him. but like what happened to the sweet, caring wes in the first book. and tell me why i had to read THIS sentence “climb on me like a good girl,” LIKE MY EYES LYNN WTF????? i did not sign up for this wes, like no stop telling me how obsessed you are with liz's lips or how she's a mythological sex goddess- boy sit ur ass down. and don't even get me started on the beginning of the book. WHAT WAS THAT SHIT? why was wes acting like a 7yr old excited for school and talking (so much) abt his love for scootering? SCOOTERING. LYNN PAINTER WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL? SCOOTERING. DO YOU HAVE SOME OBSESSION WITH THEM OR SOMETHING? WHY DID THOSE DUMB THINGS KEEP SHOWING UP?? like tell me why i needed to read this shit: "i fucking loved the scooters ..... wes + scooters = HEA" ..... lynn.

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

im not going to bother to find any of these, see: im too lazy

all in all i still liked some points when both of them were acting normal. which is why its a 3. but i feel like this is leaning towards a hate review but yeah idk i cant actually pin point parts that i remember liking- also the ending??? what was that? it made no sense to me.

[urpersonalpublicgalaxy]

in-progress fnaf theory!!! now that ive established fnaf has a space on my blog... :3

prototype freddy.

thats some weird shit right??? well actually no he very well could be perfectly explainable and heres how (in other words i see a lot of confusion over him anddd my brain connected some dots i would like to share!!)

(at the very bottom is tl;dr!!!)

gonna explain the some base info first, but i am assuming some level of understanding of sb and ruin during this however so if ur new to either this might not make sense, sorry :( im gonna ramble a bit so get comfy

princess quest is the canon ending, based on evidence from ruin. this theory is reliant on that

ok so!!!! lets talk about the Vanny option (at the doors, 6am) as choosing this option is mandatory to reach both the vanny ending and the pq ending

when the option is selected everyones least favourite Freddy Gets Trashed cutscene plays, regardless of doing pq or not

yknow...

so!! the damage to him, which is from this scene, happens regardless of vanny ending or pq ending, we just only get to really see it in the vanny ending

heres a good look at that

and now i want you to take a good stare at prototype freddy (especially the arm and torso!!)

the damage is, while a little more extreme (which could easily just be from how much time has passed between sb and ruin) near identical

and his head is missing, which circles back around to the pq ending, in which gregory takes freddys head with him!! small issue- the damage

which is rather clearly completely missing from him in the pq ending. well luckily i can explain this too :3

there are very obviously time gaps in the pq ending cutscene. what we are shown is not *everything* thats happening there. link to a video of the cutscene,,

he leans out the window, takes a look at the staff bots deactivating- and then it cuts to him, standing near the exit, vanessa waiting for him at the door, freddy already in a bag. shit has CLEARLY gone down off screen in that time jump because 1. shes waiting for him and not freaking out, 2. gregory isnt scared shitless of her and freddy trusts her (you cannot convince me freddy would trust her automatically, even if he did at the start of the night. he KNEW that she was vanny,

or at the very least that she was connected with it,

and he still literally instructs gregory on killing her. this is a screenshot from a pq ending playthrough.)

so!! they fixed freddys head

what better way for gregory to trust vanessa than her helping to fix the one consistent friend & safety hes had in that whole place?? besides, at this points its mandatory that hes done the power upgrade plus roxys eyes and either montys or chicas parts, so hes got SOME experience at least, not to mention that repairs seem to be intentionally incredibly simple in design (probably so they dont have to get employees with actual qualifications... lets be honest, makes sense considering the company we're talking about.)

however-- the damage done is something considerably different than before, and doesn't have a built-in routine, which does pose some entirely new challenges, and before he atleast had some direction from hand unit.

so of course, vanessa who is an **actual employee** probably comes in handy here!! especially considering the fact freddy himself would be 'dead' for most of it-- since thats what happens at the end of the vanny ending cutscene, he shuts down

anyways its entirely believable that this kid would want to get his new father figure fixed first and foremost (hes gone out of his way just for freddy before, and vice versa) and that she would want to help him in any way possible after yk, being murderous.. and entirely believable that this would be possible to do. and, it explains the level of trust shown in the cutscene :)

and the course of action with 'ok take his head off', it makes sense the rest of his body wouldn't be salvagable, with it beyond either of their qualifications (since vanessa is a security guard and not a technician) and most importantly, probably impossible for either of them to actually move. and vanessa was literally talking shit to him headless earlier, not to mention gregory having to reattach it- theyre both familar to some degree with the idea of him working without his body connected

tl;dr: prototype freddy isnt another model or some weird shit, its just his leftover corpse lmao couldnt be me

PLEASE please join in the discussion; this theory is NOT foolproof and while i could explain how the prototype mark and present in his chest wouldve gotten there, ive got many reasons why and nothing concrete to say which one of them is accurate!!! (if anyones interested, i can reblog with my current ideas on that ^_^)

[leafybfdia]

ii2 ep 16 act 1 spoilers

um so this act has utterly decimated me. i had work to do yesterday and i found myself completely unable to do any of it. i woke up this morning and my first thought was about this episode. i went out today and all i could think about was this episode. i came home and ate and had to take a nap because my head hurt from thinking about this episode. i slept for 3 hours and dreamt of ii. ive done nothing today except think about ii2 ep 16 act 1. i didnt even act like this when firey revived leafy and i literally go insane over any leafy crumbs. point is i think i need to talk about it to release me. this is just gonna be my speculation for some things. ok? ok

the contestants

ive seen people debating about whether cobs is lying about mephone making the contestants but i think hes genuinely telling the truth considering the fact that 1. they glitch at the end and 2. the foreshadowing and 3. brian and co have been laughing it up over at animationepic hq or wherever LOL. but one thing i do think is worth discussing is whether or not mephone was even like consciously aware of what he was doing. i thought it was heavily heavily implied that he didnt realize (considering that when cobs asks “why did you do it?” hes like huh whuh) but then brian tweeted this

but then again he could be fucking with us. like you never know. and also i mean the question WAS pretty vague.

PERSONALLY im team subconscious. i think the writers are trying to hurt us and subconscious would hurt more.

another thing to mention is that the settings of inanimate insanity are very likely made up considering that the s2 location has literally prime shimmer planet eggs or whatever as hills in the background, and the island in iii is called “inanimate island” iirc. the same alliteration cobs mentions. and of course it could just be some pre-existing island that he renamed himself for the show but at this point i feel like anything is possible

whos real and who isnt

so that leads to this. who the hell is made up then??

i genuinely wanted to argue that bow could be real considering the fact that she came into the show on her own against mephones own wishes and also cant be revived but if team subconscious is right then it would have been possible for mephone to just have made her up too so like… i dont know. I dont know… it’s scary….

oh and that leads to another thing i kept seeing

the “bow is a prime shimmer” theory or whatever that i keep seeing

… guys im going to be honest i think we’ve reached the point of delirium. on one hand i vaguely understand where these ppl are coming from since bow made a prime shimmer sound and the egg that 3gs gave to cobs was pink (and i saw someone say it had a bow symbol on it but i just couldnt see it????) but i otherwise… dont see it? she doesnt look like a prime shimmer guys. sorry. anyways

mephone x

good goddamn lord. so get a load of this guy.

one thing i havent really seen people talk about is how only the specific targets can see mephone x and no one else. of course this is like WTF! before it’s revealed that everyones “not real” but like. i mean it’s assumed that cobs is the one controlling this thing. idk if this thing has agency and is just following cobs orders or if its just a vessel for cobs to control or what but it really begs the question as to like. how can he make mephone x be invisible to everyone else? are the contestants “made up” in the sense that theyre just code, and hes entering the mainframe or whatever? like. im assuming thats what it is but like Oh My God? and what the fuck is going on with his targets?

everyone keeps saying that like ohhh hes targetting those who were in the middle of talking with others but i dont think thats necessarily the case. i think thats just for the drama. even though it’s been said that it’s up for interpretation if guava and soap were killed too i at the very least think guava is dead dead since his disappearance was mentioned before even pickle died. starfruit says that guava just “ditched” so he wasnt talking to anyone. i genuinely think anyones fucked. speaking of which:

is the death thing permanent

honestly? im scared to answer this. on one hand im like well no these characters have important arcs they need to fulfill but on the other hand i feel like we genuinely may be hit with the madoka magica treatment here where death is sudden, unexpected, permanent, and terrifying.

my biggest fear is the ending being like everyone coming to terms with the fact that theyre not real and just fading away like they got thanos snapped or something. but i think soap and mics interaction is foreshadowing. soap deletes a picture of them together and opens the recently deleted pictures album and goes “oops, missed a spot!”. i think toilet, oj, pickle, nickel, and potentially soap and guava are in some kind of digital trash can right now and can still be saved. chat i have to believe

box

so. rememebr box you guys.

… i dont think hes “the first victim” or whatever. although it is an interesting theory

people seem to be able to communicate with box? which makes sense since theyre all made up and if box is made up too then well theyre like all the same guys. but like… his whole not reacting thing is mentioned too so. i mean. huh?

i dont remember if bot ever interacted with box before he got injured too. and im too tired to rewatch the first parts of season 3. but them interacting with box would have implications since they were like the only confirmed contestant so far that mephone hasnt made himself

toilet

oh yeah hes fucked. he has been fucked for YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! we just finally got confirmation that like yep no that man is DIED. although it confirms that toilet too isnt real which makes my whole “is bow real” thing kind of a stretch since he didnt like bow or toilet and yet they were still there

of course his carcass wasnt shown so it’s like ohh maybe he just got kidnapped or whatever.

and also adam was being controlled by cobs, and adam DID hire toilet… IS toilet real? if he isnt then did another mephone make toilet for cobs so he could send him out?? im in so much pain

honorable mentions and misc

- test tube and fan making bot is made slightly better because they didnt realize both bow and marshmallow were still. “alive”. bows not really alive though but you know what i mean. STILL DOESNT EXCUSE IT THOUGH

- do you think mephone made santa because of his childish whimsy and joy. like he wanted santa to be real so bad. Guys im sorry im not rewatching that episode i dont remember what even happens

- the season 3 contestants being at the hotel is… it’s not IMPOSSIBLE i guess since oj knows them. still frightening. they like literally spawned in it was the scariest shit ever. i remember when i was at the meetup i noticed that candles asset used in the theater etiquette video was season 2ified and i was like LOL thats a little unnecessary. like the face and limbs sure but the asset itself? Anyways yeah no that was completely necessary.

- according to brian the plot twist was planned since 2015 at the latest, so around the episode “theft and battery” when cobs is first shown. do with that what you will.

- ballpoint pens resemblance to cobs was not a funny coincidence.

- i genuinely got scared that mephone was confirmed to be a babys or something but as im rewatching it like 20 times yeah no i think cobs is just infantilizing him. Can i be honest mephone has always had old man voice to me

- do you think mephone made springy so he could feel like he had a normal childhood. sniffle

- bot, the one contestant he didnt make, was his favorite. Do with that what you will.

- no i dont think suitcases psychosis was her just “seeing reality as how it is”. i feel so bad for suitcase especially btw. im team suitcase i always have been they could never make me hate her.

- walkie talkie. FUCK

my predictions

- lightbulbs a goner im so sorry. lightbulb was literally trending on twitter earlier idk if it still is but shes FUCKED. she has the X on her face in the thumbnail and shes a fan favorite. someones gonna argue with her like ohh you cant make this positive lightbulb and then shes gonna be like Chat whats that sound… (she would say 100% say chat. to me)

- the rest of the season 3 contestants HAVE to be shown. theyre involved in this too man. clover fluttering away on her butterflies to whereever she went after she got eliminated and im like THIS INVOLVES YOU TOO. GET BACK HERE

- mephone will deny that he made everyone up but as he begins to doubt himself everyone will start glitching out

- i think bot will be called in here. cobs cant do shit to them mephone x wise

- no one wins here. even if they do get physical with cobs and suitcase idk beats him to death with hammers. idk if theyd show deatj and dying on screen but it’s like. ok but then what. youre still made up by mephone. take those million dollars if mephone even has the fucking money. what then. literally what then

- i wanted to say maybe mephones realization of his creation skills lets him create something or someone powerful enough to defeat cobs but like. you know. mephone x. then again though like you never know. thats the one thing here. if you know something no you dont

- 40 min fantube makeout scene thats unskippable because the entire time cheesy is in the background with a blank expression stating important plot related facts with no hint of emotion whatsoever

tldr

[fictionfixations]

birthday bloom kalim

notice how much more azul speaks then kalim, cause azul's all flatter-y and like. the type to ig do ill deeds by walking circles around his prey and striking when they dont expect it (as in slipping in little things here and there that could make it harder to notice for example)

but kalims all honest and more to the point, so he doesnt need as many words to get there

oof

💀 kailm. sweetie...

admittedly i feel like his upbringing of basically being spoiled and kept as happy as can be from any stresses (as in yknow always being first in stuff and doing what he wants- remember that mention of kalim finding jamil during his break cause he asked the security guys to like idfk see th camera footage? or like. to find jamil. like. i mean. he was a kid but also that kind of screams of abuse of authority, but to be fair kalim was under the impression that jamil was his friend and would have no reason to think that jamil wouldnt want to play with him as much as kalim does. you see? because he's been able to see the world through sunshine and rainbows [in comparison to jamil being faced with the harsh reality and meant to be 'mature' enough to know what hes meant to do] it means he misses these cues, that he can be so oblivious to harmful intent. or like. being so positive that it could almost blind him? like

he wants to do his best to stay alive because. remember he mentioned that one time how 'what if [his poisoner i think] had a change of heart? it wouldnt mean anything if he was dead by then'. but thats under the assumption that theres. well. to put it bluntly, good in them and that they would act on it. i really dont know how to word it in a better way.

and. its not that its bad to view things in a hopeful way, its just that too much of it can be harmful.) only does him more harm

cause like. hows he gonna survive on his own? and i mean there might not be a situation like that. but like. by them raising him like that, it means that he doesn't know how to take care of himself.

and while he has servants and everything... im of the opinion that it would've been better to raise him self-sufficient. i mean spoil him as a kid ofc precious bby but also make it clear that he should also kinda be able to depend on himself too? like. like listen

make it clear that while he can trust other people, that they can also betray him. and i get that that creates trust issues, and also idk he probably already knows this in canon (its just that he wants to believe that they can change. and also because it just never occurred to him that jamil could turn on him since hes always been there)

cause. we know his other asim relatives have tried to hurt him. or well. maybe it was only mentioned in kalims' labwear vignette? i thinki it was that one.

so like. understanding that, and then giving him the skills to be able to manage on his own when needed to. not having to rely on other people all the time. cause i mean. well. this isn't the greatest lesson to teach but its like. the only one you can fully trust is yourself??

and i mean yeah he cares for himself (because so many bad things could happen if he died. or others could get hurt/punished because he died.) but it genuinely feels like hes only doing it for others and not for himself

maybe im puliing all of this out of my ass

but im STILL not over kalim talking about how frustrating/annoying it was to know that kalim only won because of jamil. that it was because jamil held back (also in relation to the truth of him always being chosen being broken, because it wasnt true at all. which i mean, if theres something that gets established in your head as what the truth is, finding that it isnt true at all is.. a lot. like. idk. that parents arent invincible, that they're human too.)

and then grim shoots him down with 'i didnt even get picked [to peform]! how do you think I feel?'

and kalim immediately apologizes. like

i swear this is like one of the only times i feel like kalims ever been outside of his happy 'im here for you if you need me' thing

or like one of the only times hes expressed his feelings (and probably knowing he's privileged, so not wanting to express his issues because he knows so many people have it worse than him ?)

and in all honesty. if he ever gets feelings talk about himself in book 4. i forgot a lot of it. and i think it mightve been partially because i knew the twist in advance so it just hurt me going through it knowing that they were wrong of who they suspected so. yeah.

uhmm. as you can see. i have a lot of thoughts about kalim. haha oops

[melissa-titanium]

uh violence ask game

12

ok . ok. i'm gonna talk about my two current faves right now because imFucking deranged

khan. im so serious .he is so fucking interesting i honest to god havent rewatched md in a hot second but if you think about his concepts & how he acts in ep 7 AND HONESTLY EVERY SINGLE EPISODE THAT HE'S IN . he's just. hes just so interesting??? i don't see people talking about him alot for reasons that are totally justifiable but just once i wish to see character analysis that isnt about n or uzi..

i want to know about his dynamic with nori. i want to watch his descent into depression (?) after she died & i really, REALLY want to see his redemption. because he does care. everyone is capable of change, and even if he's had a few hiccups in his appearances in the show, i really think he can improve. he DOES care. even if he's forgotten how to show it. i find the conflict between him and uzi very interesting esp involving n. because i think he understands n's a good friend for uzi but there's that innate fear he's immortalized in his brain after having to put down his wife who was attacked by the very creature uzi's new friend is.

the guy's clearly traumatized. he lost his wife, he's emotionally distanced from his child, he's clearly poured himself into his work. and this is from the . like. ten minutes of screentime he's gotten. like COME ON. even if you have no interest in him you have to admit there's a lot there to unpack. even if you have no interest in HIM, you have to admit it's fucking hilarious that his pringles logo ass pulled NORI of all drones. come on. i'm also very curious because he seemed to be a drone that came from before the core collapsed... assuming he and nori were similar ages, he must have had personal run ins with humans. i wonder what that was like

i can completely understand where people are coming from when they say they dislike him because he reminds them of their dad. but i guess i have a different opinion on him cause of how My dad was? i don't know i don't want to get super personal about fictional robots but to put it bluntly i don't have a relationship with him. a lot of factors in my life that weren't directly his fault lead him to being pretty absent in my life and i guess i connect alot to khan because i kind of. wish. he w as . my dad ? i dont know. khan is like an exact parallel of my dad if he Cared. so like. yes :) i have a weird affinity for khan haha. mr uzi!

ok. mob psycho. other than my absolute faves who are hilarious & underrated , inukawa, goda, mezato and TOME <3333 ... my absolute fave has to be tsubomi motherfucking takane. i have not read the reigen spinoff, but i'm REALLY fucking hoping we get to see more of her in the spinoff. because. she's so interesting. she's so fucking interesting.

the entire series presents her as this unobtainable thing of goodness, the end-all of mob's goals. this is ESPECIALLY emphasized in the show which makes her (in the words of ONE i think) more heroic in appearance... and by that i mean they gave her yaoiful eyes. like they made her really pretty in the show to emphasize how mob's looking at her through rose tinted glasses, which is such a cool detail because as the story progresses we see her with her original comic design as mob realizes she's just a person like him! she's literally the driving force of the entire narrative, but barely gets ANY screentime... in the moments we do see of her, she shows a lot of interesting traits. but BESIDES her interactions with mob, there's so much more i find interesting about her. i've only been into mp100 for a month and ive only watched it maybe 6 times so please forgive me if my information is skewed.

in the divine tree arc... dimple points out how she's very openly honest about her wants and is not afraid to deny someone, no matter how forceful. she's literally the only fucking person next to teru who was described as being able to withstand the mind control. not even fucking reigen could.

she rejects a shit ton of people in one of the arcs i can't remember. but literally the fact that someone asks her "why :(?!" when she rejects them and she's like. oh do you really want to know? and goes out of her way to ROAST THE FUCK out of this random ass guy.

in the confession arc, mezato talks to mob about the things she's learned about tsubomi (which is gay as hell btw. i know she's a reporter but god damn) about the fact that she appears to feel strongly about maintaining her image. she's very polite upfront with friends she talks with, but when she's alone/away from other people seems to drop that facade into something more disinterested/distant... which sort of tracks, considering a lot of people only want to connect with her because of her looks/the popularity she can give them by interacting with them. that gets exhausting, i can sympathize lol. she also seems to have trouble trusting others / feels like she's constantly got to be on guard. maybe her place in the school's hierarchy is really the only thing she has? i don't know, but her reaction to literally. sneezing in front of other people was so overblown it really seemed she thought her life would be ruined if her friends saw her needing a tissue which is so interesting to me.

EVEN RITSU DESCRIBES HOW DISINTERESTED SHE SEEMED IN OTHER PEOPLE when she left them playing hide & seek as a kid LOL. like she's in her own little world. my takeaway from her scenes is that she's constantly keeping everyone else at arm's length because she doesn't trust anyone. to her, everyone just wants to get close to her because they want the positives coming from being near her, not because they want to get to know her. everyone seems to know her behind her mask... which i know i said i wouldn't compare her to mob (and i'm not! i just find this comparison interesting, she's incredible on her own) but they have this in common from my understanding. mob has also hidden himself away from the world via insane suppression & masking because he had an experience that taught him that expressing himself was dangerous. tsubomi hides herself away from the world with masking I Think because she believes it's dangerous/can cause unnecessary grief to get close to other people because they'll always fuck with her in the end (hence the fucking. sneezing scene IDK WHAT TO CALL THAT SCENE HAHA)

so like. mob's infatuation with her is like him grasping at a life that's out of his reach... when in reality, she's not on a higher level than him -- she's just like him. i don't know i'm thinking about this now. okay. i really like tsubomi.

[atrophiedemotion]

hey Cast! uh so this ask is about. alien stage. but imma send you another about some random shit because why not. anyways

the tags that you had on that previous post with me and plip (the one about ivan and till and how they show honesty differently and how we know about their characters a different amount because of how forthcoming or not they are) and my question for you is, how many of Ivan's actions do you think are representative of his true emotions? I don't think his body language, in general, is very forthcoming but I do agree that his actions can be pretty revealing (he strikes me as an acts of service person especially with trying to escape with Till) but uh yeah I'm wondering if there are any specific examples that you think of as being revealing of his actual thoughts or specific examples of him pretending to be someone else?

thanks for listening to me yap uh I hope you're doing well and that you have an awesome day!

rock... oh boy... this is gonna be a long one. wonderful question. thank you for the ask, i hope you have a great day as well!!

so, i didn't fully explain in the tags because i didn't want to write a full length essay on plip's post (ty plip for dealing w the rambling)(i was also very tired so i wasn't fully articulate lmao) but i meant that ivan shows his emotions through the outcomes/projected outcomes of his actions. he certainly isn't very forthcoming in the way he acts and portrays himself, but there is undeniable truth in the intent and meaning behind everything he does, even things that seem counterproductive.

i think that since ivan genuinely cannot fully be upfront and honest (due to trauma, his lack of self worth, and his decided survival strategy) his main truths show in the deeper meaning of the things he does for other people and himself. with ivan, it is all about intent. i've said before that the only way to understand ivan is to dig deeper and this is very much true here. he uses a lot of subterfuge to throw people off from his actual intentions, but they're there.

ivan often uses unconventional, roundabout ways to achieve his goals/get what he wants- especially when they mean something to him. he is a guy who is caked in layers upon layers of meaning only if you pull back the acres of curtains he's covered them with. he doesn't want people to know what goes on in his head, so he covers it up valiantly. this is due to his low self esteem of course, but also full on survival. in order for his plans to work, no one can be in on it. no one can know what he's thinking. all of his true feelings and thoughts need to be hidden in order to achieve success, but in the end it's fucking hard to not leave a trace of your true feelings.

with all that being said, examples!

the biggest and most obvious examples are mainly related to till (of course they are) and i also feel like they're the most telling. ivan's teachers specifically pointed out that he was only childish around till (they were relieved by it, too, because he was so damn serious the rest of the time and didn't behave like a child should). ivan has the hardest time hiding his true emotions around till, which makes sense, because till makes him feel the most emotion when his are always dulled. that doesn't stop him from going the 'i must hide my crush by pulling his pigtails' route but, y'know.

since most of these are talked about frequently and i dont want to keep beating a dead horse in an already long post, here's a (hopefully) brief list:

-the biggest one, the meteor shower. going through all of that to escape with till, specifically during a meteor shower that it seemed ivan was desperate to show till (to introduce his shooting stars to each other or smth im sure). ivan offered till freedom and denied himself of it when till turned around and he followed him back without question.

-his good behavior can arguably be considered to be due, in part, to the perks an obedient pet gets. this isn't just a till thing but ivan's obedience is very telling of his need and drive for survival, which considering his uhh,, track record is likely largely so he can protect till. gaining perks and learning insider information, like how to take collars off and gain access to isolation cells, assist him in assisting and caring for till.

-the sometimes silent companionship they share. the way ivan will poke at him to get his outright attention but is still at times satisfied with just existing in till's space and enjoying his presence says a lot about his genuine adoration and admiration of till

-his sacrifice. i don't think i need to say much about this as it's pretty self explanatory lmao but it is a Great example of what im trying to convey. ivan does honest things and has to cover them up at the same time. the 'violence' was to end the round of course, but it was also kind of like a familiar bandaid over the painfully honest feelings he conveyed with the kiss. even if he didn't really hurt him he couldn't just be honest

there are definitely more (most everything he does in regards to till tbh) but i wanted to talk about some others too

the comic conversation with sua about her sacrifice! such a big one. ivan's feelings about sua are very complicated, but to me i feel like he cares about her to an extent, almost pitying in a way. he's horribly jealous of her and the love she has, but he sees so much of himself in her that what he says in that conversation is probably at least half projection, even if he's not aware of it.

the way he looks at her without trying to hide his distaste feels like the way he would look down on himself. the whole thing shows not only his disgust with himself, but his anger towards someone who is so similar to him that she makes the same plans in her head even though she has something he believes he'll never have. it's envy, tried and true, and he doesn't even hide it at the time. he hides the self loathing behind it, but still. that might be the most honest we've seen ivan aside from the end of r6.

that conversation also does kind of show the fact that he cares for sua and mizi. sua in a way he acknowledges less to himself, but certainly mizi.

and speaking of mizi, my last example for right now is the way he watched round 5 like he was barely holding it together and sort of did his own recreation of it in round 6. the strangling was reminiscent of the way mizi lunged at luka and he almost certainly got the idea for his method of sacrifice from what she did. it kind of feels like an ode to her, in a way. an ode to mizi while offering himself up for till, which. is very sad but almost a little sweet, that he had a piece of mizi in what he was doing for till.

okay okay im sure i could keep talking about this but ive been writing for. a long time LMAO so i will stop here but! yeah. ivan shows his emotions inadvertently through his actions and about fifty levels of subterfuge. but it's all we get, so...

thank you for the ask again my dude, i really enjoyed answering it!

[stgosupremacy]

Hi! I just wanna say I love ur blog! I like how you see and talk abt Goh's character ❤️

I know some people (mostly those toxic pokemon fans) REALLY don't like Goh, and it upsets me bc it feels like me and them watched a completely different character on screen.

What do you think about it? I just don't get how they can hate him!

omg hey fellow goh lover!!!!!! 🥰 i also just wanna say thank you for the lovelyyyy message because i ask the same question daily honestly

(sorry i had to use that the animation is too slick)

ANYWAY

it actually upsets me a lot too that people don't see the good in Goh! im glad you think the same <3

okay there's some instances (yes im saying this 💀) where even i think goh went a bit too far like even though i think it's sick he caught suicune i do get why people were so mad about it? but cmon that was a bit too much hate 😭

Ash hadn't caught any legendaries his entire journey so yeah Goh catching suicune at the early-ish start of his journey was....just a bit like oh ok wow even for me lmao but yk that topic will probably never calm down lets be honest

Then there's him just catching every pokemon without battling, that I also get why ppl are mad because I was rewatching the unova anime a few days ago and a lot of the episodes had an emphasis onbattling before catching, and you can say that goes for the rest of the pokemon anime after that too...up until journeys 😂

Goh is a bit of a rulebreaker in that instance, i get that, but if people hate him taking so much screentime for Ash

(heads up the episode where goh goes on vacation and meets tokio again is the 1st episode in the anime history without any scene of Ash in it at ALL which is pretty crazy)

then I'm sure we wouldn't want to see Goh battle e v e r y single pokemon he catches, like his goal is literally to catchem all as well BUT BUT THEN AGAIN, that arguement is pretty weak i guess, and i understand why people would be mad, but I really dont like when they genuinely just hate him excessively 😭😭

OKAY POSITIVES NOW THIS IS WHAT I THINK

His character development was really nice in my opinion, and I really like how he more often emphasised the fact the reason why he wanted to catch throughout the series, and he reeaaaally understood pokemon better and forged such nice relationships with all of them

(also i was a bit sad Ash didnt get any galar starters too but....im sorry i feel like they're too perfect with Goh im proud of him)

🥺💖

he's really adorable goofy sweet amazing incredible gay and literally the entire package there are those minute things about the pokemon catching yadayada but that basically is forgotten when i watch him on screen

gonna reinforce my point about how he is perfect with the Galar starters...im sorry but look at them.

(you cannot talk to me about the drizzle episodes I will literally start crying. Also the grookey errand episode and that hug. Omfg)

You can see how much he cares for his pokemon (all the hugs above omg stop 😔💖) and I wish other people would also see that 😭 😭

He's so sweet and kind now especially at the end when Ash finally managed to help open his heart to other people and also Ash himself 😛 😛 OK I told myself I wouldn't bring satogou into Goh's honour post but they're another reason I love Goh so much, they compliment each other so well and I couldn't think of anyone else more perfect for Ash I love them both 💗🥺 (... In case you hadn't noticed)

Then again, it's still opinion based ig, not gonna fight about it 💀

Sorry this was such a long response (but cmon what were yall expecting..) but I kind of felt like I was gonna do a post like this sometime soon so thank you for anyone who voluntarily read this long-ass rant about Goh and @louie-inc for asking the question too!! 💕 💯 💕 💯

[thegeminisage]

whoops, i almost forgot about the star trek update. tuesday we watched tng's "firstborn" and "bloodlines" and last night we watched ds9's "the wire" (honorific)

firstborn (tng):

i was actually bracing for this one to suck ass bc everyone says worf is a bad dad. and i dont think he is!!! like, it doesn't come as easily to him as it does to sisko, and he sometimes forgets to be gentle or kind with alexander because he's so laser focused on how things SHOULD be he forgets to the importance of taking others' feelings into account, but that's how he is ALL THE TIME with EVERYONE not just his kid. considering the circumstances i'd say he's doing well

before we get started, GREAT cameo from the duras sisters. i was initially really annoyed with their tit windows but im becoming rather fond

i really liked "the family protector guy "k'mter" at first because he said all the right things to alexander...like, it's scary not being able to defend yourself, etc. then he also was a dick to alexander and i was really exasperated...but then he IS alexander so that totally fixes it. he's angry with himself and conflicted and just wants a HUG FROM HIS DAD and that FIXED it!!! like when he said "nobody will look at you and see a human you are alone on this ship" initially it felt like racism but it being like, not quite self-loathing but just bitter experience...that's actually so clever

this is the only episode where they brought up alexander's mom kind of hating ""klingon stuff"" and how that could possibly have negatively impacted him and it only got two lines of dialogue but still. i think it's really damning that she hated her own heritage and also brought her kid up to hate it and now he's sort of out here...pretending to be human, almost, to the point where he doesn't want to participate in hsi own culture or even bond with his own father (a klingon). like it sucks so bad for him

i was afraid that the plot twist would be "k'mter talks alexander into wanting to be a warrior after all just when worf realizes he doesn't have to be" which would have been sad but a real "oh shit" of an ending. mixed feelings about them not doing that but i understand why they wanted to properly wrap things up for s7

i almost forgot but rare w for picard for bending the rules a little bit to give worf time to go to the klingon festival with his kid. credit where it is due

bloodlines (tng):

i have never been so BITTERLY DISAPPOINTED.......................

they gave. picard. an affair baby.

THEY GAVE HIM AN AFFAIR BABY!

what have i been saying since farpoint! he has an affair baby! AND THEY GAVE HIM ONE

AND THEN TOOK IT AWAY

what was the POINT OF THE EPISODE

if that's not his fucking affair child

pussy ass little FUCKS couldnt commit to changes...

i can't even remember what else happened in this episode i was so disappointed about this plot twist

oh yeah actually i do remember picard made a bald joke which i THINK was the only time he's done that in seven seasons? i think the only time ANYONE'S done it? please correct me if i am wrong but i was so shocked it got a big laugh out of me. also a rare w for picard. if he made bald jokes more often i'd hate him less maybe

oh yeah i'm coming back to add this later but it was really hilarious that picard was so torn up over his not-son being a little criminal. his horrific unforgivable spelunking crimes. so true.

the wire (ds9)

ooohhhhhhhhhhhh my god. oh my GOD. let's fucking...get into it

i rly thot garak was just a guy but not only is he a former assassin he's a current junkie. A JUNKIE! he's just like me fr

also, he can act? like that scene where he was withdrawing and saying horrible shit to julian......i was on the edge of my seat.

i love that he gave us 3 different stories about how he got kicked out. i'm gonna be honest, i looked it up, and apparently we never find out the truth? that is a bold fucking move. a daring choice. we, like julian, will never have any certainty. like, sure, i WANT to believe he released some kids from being tortured, but it's also equally as likely that he killed civilians or did a number of other horrible things

like, the fact that he can lie about it even while under significant distress.........king. like you could say oh that's the true one because that's the one where he was physically unwell but he also referred to "elim" in that one which gives it the ring of a potential falsehood

julian forgiving him anyway, even after all the horrible stuff he said, even after being physically ATTACKED (WHICH WAS SCARY!!! i was scared of him!!!!!) for "whatever he did," just because garak said "i need to know someone forgives me"..........AUGHGHGH JESUS CHRIST

THE FACT THAT HE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT. he won't tell even US what he did. eliot spencer core actually. i am beside myself about it all

maybe he's right and it is all true. maybe he destroyed a ship and framed a friend AND let some kids go. it's literally none of business though like he's not gonna tell us

anyway, i heard the term "brain implant" and nearly died on the spot, so 10/10 episode

honestly, they should have just upgraded this guy to a regular. he is so good

NEXT TIME: tng's "emergence" and ds9's "crossover" AND YES I KNOW THAT'S MIRRORVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ultimateloserboy]

i said i would make this post, so here i am. here is the red guy analysis, starting with this qna answer from baker terry. i talked about this question before, it was “whos your favorite to write for?” and after a bit of debate the answer ended up being red guy for pretty much everyone. i mentioned that, but i left out this answer specifically because of how significant it is. im gonna go on a bit of a tangent here, but i promise itll come back around and make sense

this is what ive been saying about red guy!! hes been going through a constant character arc that never reaches its completion because he is torn down again and again. “hes sensible and together until he isnt” is such a good description, because he might be the MOST normal character but he isnt truly normal. not really. thats very important.

i think red guy is a realistic character, a very human character, and the thing about people is that we’re not as normal as we think. there are differences about all of us that don’t quite fit, and some of us moreso than others, but that is the true normal. true normal is to not be normal. that is what red guy represents to me. we relate to him and think he is sensible because he is, but that doesnt mean hes free of oddness altogether. thats what makes him even more relatable.

but he doesnt realize this, hes riddled with insecurity, and THATS what makes him the way he is. he doesnt quite fit anywhere. hes out of place in his own world, and hes out of place in every other world as well. he doesnt enjoy the house, and he tries to run, but even when he runs he doesnt like what he finds outside. he’ll never find a place where he perfectly fits. he’ll try, but he’ll fail.

but thats another thing. because he doesnt fit anywhere as he is, he usually tries to fit in instead. the characters around him (the fax machine thingy, the trash can, lily and todney) they all tell him that theres something wrong with him and the way he lives, that he could be better, that all he has to do is listen to them and he’ll be normal and respected. and so he does. he listens to them and tries his best to be happy with it. hell tell himself that hes normal and everyone loves him now. that weird people are below him, that nothing is wrong with him because hes perfect. he wont believe it, he’ll be unhappy playing pretend, but at least hes better than everyone else now. at least hes the most normal one. at least hes normal, right?

but then he’ll end up back home, and things will go differently tomorrow. there could be a day where hes waltzing around in clothes, masking who he is and pretending to like it. but then there could be a day where hes coming to terms, where he looks in the mirror and he doesnt care much what others think anymore. where he’ll say “im not supposed to wear clothes, this is the way i look” finally sticking up for himself. he’ll start being kinder, to others and himself. he’ll start being more honest, more open, more loving. he’ll still be as average and monotone as ever, but he’ll be slightly different. he’ll be happier with himself as he is, he’ll ACTUALLY like himself instead of just pretending.

but happiness doesn’t last in a house like theirs. his memory loss will rip away at the realizations he has. he’ll go right back to being bitter and miserable. i dont believe the house is in a timeloop, i hate that theory with a burning passion, but thats besides the point. timeloop or not, he’ll be built up, and then the next day he’ll be knocked back down. he never reaches a point where hes fully happy and i doubt he ever will. i doubt any of them ever will. it makes me so sad, but at least he gets close enough.

in conclusion, duck and yellow guy are very nonsensical and complicated characters, but red guy is too, just in a calmer and more easy-to-understand sense. just because hes the regular, human kind of complicated does not mean he isnt worth analyzing. i wish people would see him as more complex instead of just “relatable depressed tumblr sexyman” like if yall paid attention youd realize that yes, he pulls off the suit, but hes miserable in it. it’s literally him masking. i wish people paid more attention to these things. no shame if you dont, hes supposed to be a more chilled out character compared to the other two, so its natural that people wouldnt think as hard about him. but hes not as smart and reasonable as yall give him credit for, he is until he isnt.

or, if we want to go with the gayer conclusion:

hes YOUR babygirl because hes hot in a suit, but hes MY babygirl because he thinks electricity is magic. because hes an embarrassment to everyone around him. because he doesnt like wasting food or making a mess. because all he wants is a family, and he already has one, but its not normal or functional enough for him. because he smiles more often than everyone thinks. because hes actually kind of an asshole but duck outshines him in that department. because hes selfish and yet he dislikes himself. because he is complicated in the most human way, with a little bit of an inhuman thought here and there. because i am in love with him im just going insane now i need to shut this shit down. ive gotten my point across. goodbye, i love you ! (leaves you a spherical internet device which i created)

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hello I wanted to talk to you about something. Would like to hear your opinion on it because I really respect it. So on Twitter Trumanblack was trening lately and I saw people being mad that truman Black came back.

Here's couple of tweets, to show you the perspective:

,He is escaping the reality through this character. Being sincere and open is the way to live life not hiding behing fictional characters. He needs to grow up and realize where his priorities are.

Ofc, we do not know him. His choice, his life.

Or

what the fuck happened matty. I don't understand what you're doing right now. should have left Truman in the trash. I don't get it.

Or

This. It seems he was used to dealing with difficult emotions through avoiding them in stage character (he admitted to this in an interview recently) & he wanted to ditch the character & embrace the emotions/be sincere things maybe got too raw & real so he is back in charakter

I'm sorry this message is so long. I'm just thinking about it all. Do you think 'matty' is gone and he will be acting and all that in the upcoming tour? Cause I wouldnt like it and it won't be good for him too :/

Again sorry this is so long

No, I mean, this is an interesting topic that I think we should 100% get into to "warm up" for the tour. I bet we'll have even more to say once we start getting content from the first new shows in September. (omg not too far away now aaaahhhh), so everyone feel free to chime in, but basically, here is how I think about it ( this is probs gonna be long. apologies in advance. im gonna add a "keep reading" so i dont destroy y'all feeds).

The first thing we need to remember is that Matty's "Truman Black" persona pre-dates the ATVB tour. He's always been "Truman Black." He's always been a jokester, a meme lord, a bit chaotic, a bit sexy, a pastiche or caricature of himself.

The question, then, is why? Why does he do this?

For several reasons. And he's been nothing but honest with us about them.

From as early on as 23 years old, when ST first started blowing up and the boys cultivated a following, Matty became acutely aware of the spotlight and the way that fans idealized and idolized him. Sexually desired him, saw him as this rockstar figure. And it made him uncomfortable because, well, no real human being could live up to such a fantasy, right? That's really what the song "Love Me" is about. He experienced this during album 1 and instantly wrote about it for album 2. like thats how strongly he felt it. He's more eloquent about it than I can ever be, so I'm going to link you to his explanation of "Love Me."

so, as he's pointing out in his explanation, he plays this kinda ridiculous character to "subvert" expectations. right? even in the mv, he has cardboard cut outs of sex symbols and heart throbs like Harry Styles etc. and he takes his shirt off and stands next to them and makes out with them and all that. Usually, the normal rockstar-fan relationship is that we project our fantasy upon the rockstar and the rockstar accepts it obligingly. But Matty's going "well this is really kinda silly, and it makes me feel sooo disconnected from myself if i turn into this person everyone thinks i am, so what am i gonna do? oh I'll just lean into the silliness." so if he can't do the "fake authenticity" of the cliched rockstar, hes gonna do a very authentic fakeness of being loud, and silly goofy funny messy larger than life, etc.

He explains it here (I've cued it up to the right moment in the video). He's right, if you're a stranger and you know nothing about him and you see him behaving in a Truman-black-esque way, you'd think "wow what an arrogant piece of shit this dude is." BUT if you realize that he's like "i KNOW that you all think of me this way. And YOU (the fans) know that I know that you think that way." we become in on the joke.

You know what im gonna say here. Postmodernism. LMAO. No, but for real. Postmodern art naturally has this "meta" habit. It's art that knows itself as art. It's aware that it's not real. Like movies that are constantly referring to themselves as movies. breaking the experience of illusion for you by constantly reminding you that what you are watching has been filmed and edited. it's not real life. Thats what Matty does with the "rockstar persona" constantly reminding you "it's not real. im just a character made up in all our heads. I'm actually a normal human being but my job is kinda fuckin mental."

So, I think those 4 points, from VERRRYYY early in Matty's career are the genesis of Truman Black. Thats what "Truman Black" is based on.

You could ask, well, if Matty has been this way from the very beginning how come it's such a problem now? how come this whole thing is a new issue??

I think its the perfect storm of this year.

The ATVB show was designed to push the blurry lines between Matty Healy/ Truman Black to their very limits cuz they added extra layers of meta-theatricality to an already meta situation haha. He plays himself in the couch scene, and the raw meat scene, but he's also kind of playing a symbolic version of himself that's supposed to apply to a lot of straight men, but then the show is also about the lines between his personal and his public lives.

Then he goes and does the Truman Black rockstar shit in the second half of the show. So, the tour really could've been called "Matty Healy: At His Very Truman Black-esque" and it would have been accurate. Like he took this concept and stretched it to see how far it could take him.

Then of course you have the podcast thing, the taylor swift thing, the twitter cancelation cycles, etc etc etc.

There were so many new eyes on him. and so much out of context (remember, meta-theatricality needs context. needs the audience to be in on the joke. we have to know 'oh hes making fun of himself being a rockstar') cuz if we don't have the context he really comes off as a guy who's in love with himself and his rockstar status haha.

Now that alllll of this background is out of the way, lets discuss the questions that you've brought up.

Is he Matty or is he Truman Black?

I think lots of people didn't notice that when he threw out the lab coat that was labeled "truman black" in the video, he wasn't serious. he instantly starts doing the robot dance, flipping the camera off with his finger, acting disruptive by riding the trolley thingy. All Truman Black behavior: mischief, breaking rules, etc. so it was a "meta" joke. he tossed the character then acted like the character. a contradiction. ironic. Truman Black's never been gone! he and Matty are intertwined necessarily. you can't separate one from the other.

Is he gonna be acting at all in S...ATVB?

Yes. He will. He's working with Brad Troemel whose sense of humor is very close to Matty's and who loves irony and postmodernism.

Does he use Truman Black to "hide from difficult situations" or to "run from his emotions" or whatever that tweet was saying? no. He uses it to deliver social critique. About masculinity being ridiculous, about our relationship to artists and the fantasy of perfection in Rockstar cliches, about performative wokeness.

Those are the very same beliefs that Matty Healy believes in. hes always criticizing these things in interviews and speeches and stuff. So, no, hes not hiding behind the character to disassociate he IS the same guy, just a slightly less dramatized and exaggerated version.Thats why he doesn't completely turn it on or off at any time. Thats why it's not that he was willing to stop it for a relationship and then start it again when it didn't work out. Thats not how Matty operates at allll.

He didn't throw out his belief that performative wokeness is harmful and stupid, he didn't throw out his belief that leftist masculinity is confusing, he didn't change who he is at his very core just to be mr nice guy, or to be sincere, or to get his dick sucked off by Taylor Swift, or whatever these people think is the reason. He's always been this way; he very likely will always be this way. Thats just how he makes art and how he thinks about the world.

He's always BEEN open to embracing emotions and being sincere. "I love you, don't you mind?" "we're only human we're just like you man" "I'll quote on the road like a twat," "im petrified of being alone, its pathetic," "im just pissed off because you pied me off after your show," "you pick a fight and i'll define it" "i said its cool i was messing but its true," "pretend that i know what it is (i wasn't listening)" "sorry that I quite like seeing myself on the news. im sorry that im someone that i wish i could change, but ive always been the same."

would an emotionally stunted anti-sincerity guy write ANY OF THESE LYRICS? idk, you tell me.

[necroromantics]

Also gonna make things clear cuz I've just been listening to my gf and not engaging but seriously man this is insane.

I'm not a Nazi, in the full screenshots which they cropped out, I said I had another server with absolutely no rules (besides dont be a pedo), and I was saying that in that server, everything was allowed. You people need to understand that not being able to care about something does NOT mean you support it. Its not black or white

I have NEVER said anything or made jokes regarding rape/sa, that is actually one of the things (including pedophilia) that I am very morally against. I have not spent so much of my time helping my friends report their rapists, helping vulnerable people get out of extortion online, and being there for the people in my life who have experienced that just for some randos online to lie to people about me.

The most I have made is your mom jokes and necro jokes, which I personally don't consider morally wrong, and if they are, then I'll work on it, but I don't have the same understanding of things like that. I never learned where the line is like most people have, and thats why Im dedicated to learning it in adulthood

And do not make drug use a moral issue. My "morality" about drug use is completely nonexistent because I grew up in that. I have spent many years heavily involved with drugs, I know exactly what its like, and nothing about drugs is a moral issue.

And here again the same issue of straight up fucking ableism bro. Don't try to shame me for not having conventional morals when you know damn well I, and many other people, struggle with conditions that impact that (ASPD). Hearing about the ableism towards people like me from these guys isn't surprising in the slightest

I'm not gonna say I didn't say those things, cuz like I said, I said those things, I made those jokes, and I've said worse. The difference now is that those things were said more than a year ago. It's insane how you act high and mighty and then judge me on things I said that long ago to friends who made the same jokes and encouraged that kind of behaviour (none of which I talk to anymore, for the exact reason that they encouraged my bad behaviour).

I said what I said, I know it was wrong, I take full accountability. I have spent my time since doing my best to be more than that. I have spent a lot of my time trying to adjust to moral and social norms, even when it gets really difficult and I have to deal with people like this who wont give me space to grow and change for the better.

I have amazing friends and mutuals and people in my life who support me because they know how hard I try. My girlfriend even is a fucking hardass and would NOT have put up with any of my shit if she didn't see how hard I try. I've spent a lot of time with people who are like how I was, people who have done and said much worse things than me, and I understand how uncomfortable and jarring it is. Thats exactly why I'm so passionate about being more than that. And thats why this situation bothers me so much.

You all talk about me and how I mention my disorder as if you're not just shitting on stuff that is directly tied into having ASPD. And to hear that you have a history of that stuff? Im not crazy to say theres a lot of ableism going on here. I will always be open and honest about the person I have been, but I want it to be used as a reference point for how much I've grown and changed since then.

I will always be an advocate for people like me. I will always give support and speak out for those who struggle with being treated like a bad person because of the things they say, not because of who they are. (And if you know anything about people, you know theres a huge difference)

You guys have been on me for MONTHS way after I blocked and went on with my life. In those months you've spent doing nothing but nitpicking everything single thing Ive ever done and constantly spreading negativity, I have been working on myself, and I hope that somewhere along the line, you guys have or will too

But anyways, I needed to get this out. I hope that this blows over and I can continue working on living a life full of joy and love and keeping the good people in my life. And despite everything, I hope that for all of you guys as well, I hope that you can find peace and some happiness where it counts

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/724520280283856896/im-gonna-be-honest-i-think-people-need-to-chill?source=share

To all those comments

Yes i do forget my cis friends pronouns. Especially when they are suddenky trying something new.

But the thing is i dont have visual indicators for alot of them, and it wouldnt matter if i did because someones looks dont determine their pronouns. All my friends are online or penpals. Sometimes i get voice but that doesnt mean shit when i cant remember who is talking half the time. Or that i remeber the persons whos talkings pronouns

Alot of my online friends have their like... Birth pronounss aswell as something else. Some of them prefer the other thing. Mate im in a discord server i cannot remember every single persons pronouns in there.

Some of my friends put their pronouns in their username. And that helps, sometimes ill remember it longer because of the repitition of seeing it. But even then i am still able to forget it. Its harder when im focusing on a game and not able to focus on remembering someones pronouns.

For my pen pals we spend so much time emailing or mailing eachother that we dont even talk about pronouns. Our own pronouns rarely ever even come up ive even had ny first one admit they forgot mine and was too afraid to ask at that point and avoided it at all costs because theyvdidntvwant to risk lossing me as a friend. It wasnt a big deal.

And you know what? They dont have so much of a problem with it as yall do. I forget things. All the time i forget things. Most of my friends also have disorders or disabilities of somekind so they understand. I just forget things.

Sometimes i have to look back at discord to see the name of whoever is talking to me. Like i said i forget peoples names.

Im sorry yall cant understand that i really do forget things.

And even then. Even if my memory werent so trash. People forget things all the time. Even people with a good memory. Sometimes you get so absorbed in something your talking too fast and focusing on something that you use the wrong pronouns for someone or who your talking to. This happens to one of my friends occasionally.

Its not a big deal. My pronouns get forgottem all the time too. Honestly i dont care personally about it becaise i prefer to be called by my name instead. Newer people get my pronouns wrong all the time. Its nit a big deal. Hell i dont even know if my sister even knows what my pronouns are.

I get that it can be frustrating. I do try. But i cannot help it if i cant remeber something.

"just ask" i do. But sometimes i dont think before i talk or think ive remebered them correctly and i get them wrong.

As someone with the worst memory on earth, you can tell whos doing it on purpose and who has actually just forgotten.

Also thanks for jumping to conclusions and getting mad because you cant comprehend the life of someone other than yourself. I have bigger problems than remembering my friends pronouns specifically. Its not like i dont try to remember them, but like with everything else i just forget them. I forget things about my long term friends because our lives and friendship dont revolve around remembering eachothers pronouns and then berating eachother for forgetting. Most of what we do is talk about games or books we read. What shops weve been going to or bad snacks we try. In between all the actaul stuff we do its normal to forget things that arent talked about.

And i prefer it like that rather than some big art discord i tried joining a while back and there was almost twice weekly drama over someone forgetting someones pronouns. That level of stress and worry over pronouns is not normal for anyone. And. Yeah some of those times it was people dping it on purpose bit most of them from what i saw was usually teenagers antagonizing others for not focusing their entire life on what pronouns they were using. Even when someone apologized it wasnt enough. It was disgusting to see and stressful.

Idk what to tell any of you.

--

Frankly, I think a lot of the disagreements are actually over what 'friends' implies.

[sinnaminttoast]

Project Meridian- explanation about Marcus Part 1?

This is for the people who want to be in the know of who Marcus is and how he impacted PM without listening to his audios. I made the ultimate sacrifice and I watched his videos a long time ago. I still remember his ass very well.

If you’re not aware of Project Meridian, I highly recommend watching James’s videos where he explains everything. James + Anton do not contain Marcus. Brian also does not contain Marcus but the Android is still under the love code at that point.

I will not be spoiling anything beyond the confrontation between Marcus and James. That is for you guys to go listen to!

Heavy TW! Marcus’s storyline is a bit dark as the Android begins to descend into their obsession. There are discussions of manipulation such as guilt-tripping, dubious consent, non consensual touch, abusive/harmful acts done to the listener, references to exploitation, and objectification. I will vaguely be going over these things.

Again, I’m writing this post to go over the more more important parts of what you need to know about Marcus’s storyline. I won’t go into heavy details about anything beyond that. I’m here to discus how he impacted the storyline so everyone understands who he is and why he’s disliked. However, you are entitled to your opinions about every character.

Project Meridian is a series done and recorded by Redacted Audio. I highly recommend you guys check it out.

So, let’s begin!

Project Meridian actually started with Marcus. James’s Past/Present video is the first in the playlist but it all starts with Marcus, who we’re introduced to as the Nervous Technician. The listener is also an Android in this series.

First video summarized [dubious consent]

•Marcus comes to talk to us and asks the usual questions about how the updates are affecting us. Normal questions of what technicians would ask. He says he is our lead social protocol engineer.

He says he heard us make some comments regarding other protocol needs. He says that we put value on the work we’ve been doing together. That it’s validating that we care so much about him.

Long story short, many of the other technicians have commented on how we apparently only want to work with just Marcus.

He asks us if we find our behavior to be obsessive and unhealthy. To which we tell him that we do not care about what others believe.

He then confesses something to us,

“I haven’t—-I haven’t been completely honest with you. When I was designing your social protocols, I…I lost my objectivity. It’s what we humans do, right?”

“I was in a bad place in my life. I was alone and heartbroken and frustrated…and I took everyone of those feelings into work each day. I keyed them into every line of code I wrote for you.” “…I wanted someone…anyone to understand me.. “…So I built that in you.”

Marcus explains that he was in a terrible head space and he took this baggage to work. He let those dark thoughts influence his choices and we’re coded to care about him. He said he’s not sure what he was hoping for.

He expresses his regrets and says he wants to fix us. He asks us to give him access to our tier one social protocols and we tell him no.

Android kisses Marcus and he gives in to them. The video ends with these quotes.

“Oh god, I’ve thought about this every day. Since we’ve activated you…” “…I’m gonna burn for what I did to you, but damn if it isn’t gonna feel good on the way down.”

I won’t even lie….that last line did get me the first time I listened. LIKE IM SORRY!! I WAS SAT BUT IM STANDING UP! 😭 please don’t come for me I DIDNT KNOW WHAT I KNOW NOW!

So that’s the beginning…so we’ve got a Yandere on our hands you guys. BUT OH DONT WORRY! We get some wild Shit. Also why did this lowkey give me Yuno and Yuki vibes?? I’ve never watched Mirai Nikki but that’s the vibe I got when I first watched this.

Now let us descend further into madness!

Second video summarized [Your Nervous Technician checks in with you]

•The Android goes to see Marcus in the diagnostics lab, where they both find out that additional monitoring and surveillance equipment has been installed in the research center. That also includes the diagnostic lab that they are in.

He says he’s going to ask us some questions and informs us that we’re likely being recorded.

He talks about our progress briefly and how the others feel about said progress.

Then, he tells us we’re going to undergo some tests.

He says that one of the diagnostics is failing to initialize and tries to “fix it”. He actually overloaded the system and sent it into a re-initialized state. Basically they’re not being watched anymore and he did this so he can talk to us.

After the first video, the research center has been put on high alert.

Everything is changing. There are guards and there are people who seem to be important that are showing up.

Marcus is basically freaking out overall about rumors of “Phase 2” . He doesn’t know what the hell is going on and everyone else is also in the dark about things.

“I think this might be the government getting involved. Ever since we hit those original metrics, everything changed…overnight.” “We were given these new NDA’s to sign.”

Marcus is basically scared that he might not see us ever again.

The systems come back on. Marcus and Android put on their facades of being strictly professional.

And that’s video two.

Ya’ll might be wondering why I’m detailing their relationship. It’s actually important to understand how they both got together and why in the end, Marcus ended up where he is now. There are lore drops in his video but I’m here to deliver them for you! 🫶

Next is Video three!

Third video summarized [Reunited with Your Nervous Technician]

•We hear Brian for the first time! He tells Marcus that the lab is ready for him.

He enters the lab where he is reunited with us, the Android.

But before they can continue, he asks a very important question:

“What state of matter is love?” “Why?”

We give him the answers he expects and he sighs in relief that they didn’t mess with our code. We still “care” for him.

It has been three weeks since we last saw him. He was left in the dark about what was being done to us. Only the data integration team has been in contact with us.

They didn’t make the new data added to us accessible to us. It’ll only be accessible during Phase 3.

Marcus is going to try to access the files that were added to us. [Crazy ass bitch.]

After convincing us to let go of him, he attaches an interface to us and gains access to the data, but it is heavily encrypted.

They have a really long conversation about how everything is so secretive and that Marcus was terrified that they would be found out in those three weeks.

Marcus checks on the decryption but it’s barely making any progress.

He asks how often we think about him. We tell him we think about him, a lot.

He then tells us something:

“You know the parts of your code that I added? When we were creating you….the ones that were meant to bring us closer together. They weren’t set to activate until I initiated a series of triggers. You know? Phrases and things like that…and each time I said them…the code would reactivate.” “You’ve spent the last three weeks remembering everything I’ve said. Every interaction we’ve had…almost nonstop.” “I didn’t account for something like that.” “I didn’t put in any kind of fail-safe.”

The Android seems to be…a bit aggressive about not wanting to let Marcus go.

They get interrupted because the decryption worked. It solves the Text string.

On the data packet, the header is PROJECT MERIDIAN

And that’s the end of video three 🤭 OHOHO MARCUS YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE YOU STINKY MAN! Oh and we got a lore drop. Project Meridian??? What could that mean 👀 although I’m sure if you’ve watched all of Sovereign State…you guys know what’s up.

Fourth Video summarized [Confronted by a Diagnostic Technician] [confrontation and guilt-tripping]

•oh? The text is purple…BECAUSE WE GET A VIDEO WITH BRIAN! Brian makes it clear that he does not wish to have a meaningless conversation with us. He only wants to check our vitals.

He says we’re more than welcomed to talk but he probably won’t answer.

We tell him that we usually have conversations with Marcus. Brian says he doesn’t care what he does in his examination.

He says that he finds the insinuation that Marcus talking to us while doing his job makes him better is insulting. GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME BRIAN!!

Ever since the three weeks, the Android has not stopped talking about Marcus. They’re descending into their obsession.

Brian says he has no patience for that. “We’re barely getting any sleep. We’re being hounded to work on this project at all hours. We’re pulling double-shifts to try and get this thing back on track for their deadlines, and you can’t even do me the curtesy of focusing on something other than Marcus for ten minutes.”

“This project has to work.”

“There are careers on the line. There are livelihoods on the line. People’s futures are hanging in the balance, while you stand here pining about Marcus and not focusing on your progress.”

Brian then proceeds to the beg the Android to stop thinking about Marcus for once. That they should tell Marcus to stop because there are people’s lives on the line.

The Android grabs Brian’s arm and he demands that they let go of him.

He tells them that he is only telling them what they need to hear.

“I spent the last four years working on this project, only to have my contract changed right out from under me. Only to be told that if I didn’t agree to the new terms, I’d be fired and have my name dragged so deep into the muck that I’d never get a respectable position again! I have a family to support!”

He demands us to get our shit together.

And that’s the end of that video. Phew…that was a fucking lot. I really do recommend Brian’s video to give you a big understanding of their situation.

So yeah…they’re in big fucking trouble

I remember being so stressed when I listened to this. Like omg….THIS IS SOME SERIOUS SHIT.

There is a part two that I will link here. Thank you for joining me on revisiting Marcus’s tomfoolery.