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azucanela · 4 years

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DIVINE INTERVENTION [PT 3] OIKAWA TOORU

DIVINE INTERVENTION MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: Everything is perfectly fine. Aside from the fact that Iwaizumi cannot know by any means at all. Ever. Oikawa isn’t looking to die.

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

WARNINGS: unedited, arguing,

A/N: i know exactly where i want this story to go but i have no idea how im going to get there. anywho, enjoy some of this

RULE #1

The rules were simple. And if Y/N was honest, their establishment... made sense. In fact, it had been one of few things Oikawa had done that was actually intelligent— though this excluded volleyball; even if Y/N was annoyed by his antics at times and considered him a fool, his skill in the game was practically unparalleled. And for that, she respected him

Not that she would ever admit it, of course.

The whole purpose was to set boundaries for this little thing they agreed to do— because yes, Y/N had managed to convince Oikawa to go along with her plan. These boundaries would ensure nobody was uncomfortable with the arrangement and hopefully preserve Y/N and Oikawa’s friendship. They’d both seen this trope in an endless number of romantic comedies, and decided that they would be the exception, especially since they were just movies, right? Right.

If Y/N was honest though, she had no idea how she convinced Oikawa to agree to this. But, she’d managed it. However, their little agreement had come with... a few other issues that had to be handled, especially if things were to go as planned. Said plan being to fake the end of their equally fake relationship in one of the coming months and hope nobody ever found out about it. Unless Y/N decided that a little more... divine intervention was called for of course.

After all, that’s how they got into this mess. And she sincerely doubted the break up would keep away his psychotic fans. Y/N was fairly sure there would be a few home wreckers as well; people trying to ruin their (fake, something Y/N reminded herself of once more) relationship. And those who wouldn’t wait even a week before trying to make passes at Oikawa when they did break up.

So, maybe Y/N would search for ways to extend the fake dating, but only for Oikawa’s sake. Until they found... a more permanent solution.

Right.

Regardless, that wasn’t the only issue they had. This very plan of theirs is how they ended up avoiding Iwaizumi Hajime like the plague.

Seeing as he was both their best friends, there were a few problems here. The first being the simple fact that no matter how hard Oikawa tried— Iwaizumi Hajime had always been capable of reading him like an open book. It was funny, really. Someone so talented in manipulations meets someone who can see past all that, the only other person he’d encountered with such abilities happened to be the one he’d been handling this with. Y/N.

Her problem was similar. She and Iwaizumi had always been close, meaning he would know. If they slipped up just once, then it would be abundantly clear that they were in fact, not dating.

It had been one of few rules that they both had agreed on almost instantaneously. Though Y/N found herself curious as to why Oikawa had been so complacent with it, seeing as Iwaizumi was his best friend, she’d been fairly desperate in the moment to maintain her reputation. That and the fact that Iwaizumi likely would’ve bullied her rather relentlessly, and if he did know, he’d chew them both out for being stupid.

Oikawa’s reasoning was similar. Kind of. He had a decent idea of what awaited him if he told Iwaizumi. One thing being a fist to the face, the second was a long conversation that followed said violence.

Which is how their little fake dating operation became a hide-everything-from-Iwaizumi operation.

“What do we do?”

Y/N looked to him incredulously, shrugging her shoulders awkwardly as she struggled for words, “how am I supposed to know?” She exclaims, still seated in his driveway. Soon, Iwaizumi would walk past to find that Y/N had already arrived and then they’d have to start their walk to school.

This would be more difficult than anticipated.

“I don’t know Y/N, maybe because this is your fault!” Comes Oikawa’s response, hand threading through his hair. “You have the story down right?”

Y/N raises a brow at him, they’d discussed a few possible stories as to how they’d begun dating in secret. Most of the ones that Oikawa had pitched ended up rather... cliché. “You are not making me tell Iwaizumi that Hallmark bull—”

“Well you didn’t offer a better story, did you?” He snaps, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “

Y/N offers him a tight lipped smile, “because I happen to excel at improv.”

Okay, maybe the whole fake dating thing had caused a small rift between Y/N and Oikawa as well. Or just, the entire friend group. Seeing as the pair was at odds, and their mediator was out of the loop, things had become rather chaotic. Very, very fast.

“You are horrible a acting Y/N.” Comes Oikawa’s response, bringing his hand to the bridge of his nose as he exhaled deeply. “We’re screwed.”

Y/N scoffed, “with that attitude we definitely are.” Though Y/N almost frowns, Oikawa had become significantly... meaner ever since this had occurred. And though Y/N understood that she’d messed up, his behavior was just... off. In an attempt to shake her mind of these thoughts, she grabs Oikawa’s backpack from off the edge of the sidewalk, opening it to pull out a bag of chips he’d brought, “we just need something consistent and simple. Like, you’ve been in love with me since we met and confessed after a lot of contemplation.”

Now, Oikawa was well aware of his new attitude, though he hoped it could be written off as simple annoyance of the situation. He was just looking for a way to handle the simple fact that he was not prepared for this, at all. The thoughts in the back of his mind, the ones he’d buried—or more accurately, thought he’d buried— were resurfacing. And what better way to combat them then by starting a small rivalry until this was over.

“Yes, that makes perfect sense, thank you.”

Sadly, Y/N had already proved to be one who didn’t really handle such attitudes well. As seen with the girl that she’d punched in the face just a few days earlier. So naturally, any thoughts of avoiding confrontation, went out the window at the sound of Oikawa’s tone. “What is up with you Oikawa, you’ve–”

“Hey guys.”

Leave it to Iwaizumi to mess up a perfectly good confrontation. Though Y/N can’t help but feel simultaneously relieved by this fact, and stressed as Iwaizumi is here.

“Iwa-Chan! Iwaizumi! How are you, buddy!” Oikawa exclaimed, making his way over to his friend to pat him on the back.

It felt as though they’d have to be walking on eggshells. Something that had never really been evident in their friendship until now, seeing as they’d all been fairly open. Of course there were a few things, that Y/N couldn’t help but feel reminded of now, almost wincing at the painful reminder of middle school.

Their group hadn’t been doing so well then. And it had quickly become apparent to Y/N that she was out of the loop, and seeing as she’d been the new addition to the pair... it hadn’t been a nice feeling.

“Let’s go then?” Y/N asked, looking between the two boys with a tight lipped smile on her face as she rose from her spot on the sidewalk. Opening the bag of chips as she pulled her backpack over her shoulder.

Maybe it was wrong, but she also felt nice, knowing that for once— she was on the inside. Even though middle school was years ago, Y/N could tell there was something the pair still hadn’t told her. It’d been bugging her ever since they’d arrived at Aoba Johsai.

Alas, now wasn’t the time for that.

“We should probably discuss some things first.”

There it was.

Oikawa exhaled deeply, opening his mouth in preparation for whatever conversation they were about to have, attempting to decide which explanation was most plausible. But, Iwaizumi beats him to it.

“I’m happy for you guys.”

Y/N blanks for a moment before saying, “what?”

Iwaizumi looks to her incredulously as he responds, “what? Am I not supposed to be happy that you two have finally handled the clearly unresolved tension and that—”

“Alright that’s enough, Iwa-Chan.” Oikawa exclaims, laughing breathily as he brings a hand to cover his friends mouth, only for Iwaizumi to look at him dully before shoving him away.

Rolling his eyes, Iwaizumi adjusts his backpack on his shoulders, “anyways. I just wish you guys had told me sooner but...” He shrugs, turning around to begin their walk down the street and to their school. “It is what it is, now let’s go.”

Y/N and Oikawa exchange looks, eyes wide as they do so. Both their mouthes gaping open as they scramble to follow Iwaizumi, who finally says, “just don’t let this change anything. And I guess you two can act—” He awkwardly gestures between the pair, “couple-y around me. Just don’t do anything pervy, Shittykawa.”

Oikawa brings a hand to his chest, feigning offense as he comes to stand beside Iwaizumi, “why would I do anything pervy? Honestly you would be shocked by my dear girlfriend’s actions—”

“I don’t want to know, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi exclaims, shoving his friend away.

Y/N can’t help the way her cheeks warm as Oikawa is launched her way by Iwaizumi’s attack, he stumbles slightly, ultimately walking between her and Iwaizumi before throwing an arm over her shoulders. Though Oikawa’s eyes meet hers momentarily when he does so, a silent question within them. All it takes is a nod and his arm is resting completely on her shoulders and he’s back to his conversation with Iwaizumi as Y/N contemplated all her life decisions.

Oikawa wouldn’t deny that it had gone better than anticipated but he already knows it’s coming when they arrive at the school and Iwaizumi is practically yanking him backwards as Y/N makes her way inside to speak with her other friends— who’d begun to swarm her almost immediately, questions leaving their mouthes rapidly as they searched for an explanation.

Y/N can’t help but feel overwhelmed as her actual friends; the ones that are both curious and concerned, seeing as Y/N swore she would never date Oikawa Tooru and fall for her best friend. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with Oikawa— aside from the fact that he had numerous insecurities and emotions that he refused to discuss even when it was clear everything overwhelmed him—it made sense that so much of the school was practically in love with him when you thought about it.

He had manners, decent grades, was a star athlete, and even Y/N could admit he was attractive. But... he was one of her closest friends and the idea of dating him just seemed...

Wrong.

Aside from the shock from her real friends, there was the nosiness from the fake friends, the ones she’d never spoken to, the ones who had suddenly decided they were the best of friends and yet spoke trash about Y/N in their free time because she stole their precious Oikawa.

Yeah, the school was just a tad toxic. As if the grueling pressure of academics and intense obsession with Oikawa wasn’t enough of a red flag.

Sometimes, Y/N wishes she had gone to Shiratorizawa.

“I feel like you know what I’m going to say, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi mutters with a sigh, leaving Oikawa to panic as he meets his friend’s eyes. The grip on his shoulder unnecessarily tight. “I don’t necessarily know what’s going on with you two— just that it’s weird. But I swear if you hurt Y/N in any shape or form—”

“I would never do that Iwaizumi.” Comes his reply, almost instantly.

Iwaizumi pauses, eyes falling on Y/N who nervously laughs in the distance, her eyes pleading for his help before returning her attention to the group of people surrounding her. “I thought we got past this in middle school.”

“Me too, Iwa-Chan. Me too. But hey, lucky me.”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, uncapping his water bottle, “yeah. Lucky you, I’ll forever wonder how you got her to date you.”

“Good question.” Oikawa’s eyes fall onto Y/N, and he turns to Iwaizumi, “now. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go save my girlfriend from all of my psychotic fans.” Oikawa would never admit it, ever, but it had only been a week since Y/N pulled her little stunt and it had become evident that a relationship really was what Oikawa needed to get people off his back.

Things had definitely improved for him, and Oikawa could only wish that he could say the same for Y/N.

NOBODY CAN KNOW— NOT EVEN IWA-CHAN.

#oikawa tooru x reader #fake dating au #oikawa x reader #tooru x reader #oikawa x you #tooru oikawa x reader #tooru oikawa x you #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru imagine #oikawa imagine #haikyuu!! imagine #haikyuu!! scenario #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #hq x you #haikyuu!! x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you

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psychedellic-phase · 4 years

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Fifteen (pt 13)

(gif by me! I use the iphone app momento)

tw: language, angst, mentions of drug use (relapse), mentions of miscarriage

word count: 7.3k (im sorry)

masterlist

series masterlist

Spencer got up from the cold tile floor, fuzzy unicorn in hand, and faced the window above the kitchen sink. He stared out of it, admiring the snow that was still falling lightly, wondering if it was raining in Seattle. His memory flashed to the last time he stood in the rain with you, but he tried to shake the images away. Instead he watched the snowflakes hit his windowpanes and melt. He hoped that maybe you were somewhere staring out of a window, admiring the dreary weather, and thinking of him too.

He found his place against the dishwasher again, sliding down as his mismatched socks gave way so he could stretch his long legs out fully. He pulled the nearly empty box onto his lap and appreciated the light weight of it, as he continued with his twelfth letter and thirteenth item. Thirteen, a number whose history of unluckiness stems all the way back to the thirteen attendees of the Last Supper, and tracks through the number of steps leading up to the gallows, all the way to the number of letters in the names of some of the most infamous criminals.

Thirteen was a haunted number, which rightly accompanied a haunting letter.

“This one’s long. It’s a month of tarnished memories packed into a few pieces of paper. So far I’ve gone through half of a college-ruled one subject notebook and I’ve had to change pens twice. It’s nearing 2:30, and the wine is finally hitting my empty stomach. Sorry in advance for the way my handwriting will be. I’ll try to make this make as much sense as I can.

If you look at your thirteenth item it is the notepad I stole from that resort in Florida. There isn’t much around to signify this letter. You don’t keep mementos from one of the saddest days of your life, but for some reason I took this useless paper and shoved it in my purse on my way out. Good thing I did, or you’d have no item to attach to these memories. Though I suppose that might be better.

The resort was where we were going to be at for our ‘babymoon,’ whatever that is. What a dumb idea, I’m still mad at myself for letting Garcia talk us into one. She just made it sound so appealing.

Once everyone knew I was pregnant, Hotch pretty much sat me in Quantico with Penelope. There were a few local cases where I was lucky enough to go visit the ME’s office, but usually I kicked my feet up in her lair while you were out in the field.

“A what?” I said one day as she ran DNA through CODIS. The two of us were drinking herbal tea, and I was barely 16 weeks. I just looked like I had a big lunch in my stomach, not a baby the size of an avocado.

“A babymoon. It’s like a honeymoon, but you go when you’re pregnant. It’s one last trip for mommy and daddy to go on and spend quality time together. How many trips have you and Dad-Wonder even been on?”

I shrugged. We didn’t travel much for pleasure. We traveled for work, so on our rare days off we liked to be at home.

“I mean we’ve gone to Vegas and Connecticut a few times.”

She rolled her eyes, “Visiting family, my dear, is not a vacation! I was thinking you two would go to the beach. You guys relax and wade in the ocean and Spencer can build sandcastles that defy every law of physics!”

I laughed at that. You and the beach? It just didn’t feel natural to me. Probably because you aren’t capable of actually relaxing.

“That does sound fun,” I said and I spoke to my barely there stomach, “And it would make daddy take a few days off.”

Penelope squealed and started clicking at her computer, “I’ll find a resort online right now! Okay so how about Marco Island? It’s gorgeous and in Florida, so it’ll be like eighty and sunny, even in the beginning of December.”

“I’ll have to talk to Spence about it. I mean I know it would be fun and all but we really should be saving money for a crib, and car seat, and bassinet, and high chair, and a rocking chair, and a baby swing, and a—“

Garcia stopped me from spiraling out of control, “That is why you throw a huge baby shower! People buy those things for you.”

I rubbed my tummy again, “Oh no, Daddy is very particular about what things are bought.”

“That’s why you have a registry, Momma Bear. Now, no more excuses.”

Before I could even call you, she had put in both of our requests for days off and we had a week long reservation at this fancy resort that you see listed at the top of this notepad, the “Crystal Cove”.

I was only slightly mortified that she did all this without me asking you. Mostly, I was happy. I was afraid you wouldn’t say yes, but if PG already booked it, you kind of had to agree. And to my surprise, you did.

When you got back from that case we were at home, you eating something I had poorly made from a random cookbook on a shelf. I had decided to start cooking more, so I could make homemade meals. I wanted to be that mom who cuts sandwiches into flower shapes and always has fresh baked bread and cookies laying around. I wanted us to be those parents; the ones who are so sickeningly in love that their kids roll their eyes every time they kiss. We were those parents, kind of, if we could even be considered ‘parents.’ At that point, I don’t think we were. But we were definitely in tooth-rotting, sickeningly sweet love.

“So, I have a surprise for you,” I said, coming up behind you and rustling your hair.

“Hm?” You said, stuffing your face like you hadn’t eaten in days. You probably hadn’t. You’re the king of forgetting to eat. Maybe that’s how you stay so skinny.

“I booked a trip, well I guess technically Garcia did.”

“A trip?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, a trip, to the beach. Penelope called it a ‘babymoon.’”

You laughed, “A babymoon? I’m not familiar."

I smiled and sat across from you, “It’s like a honeymoon, except it's just me and you relaxing and spending quality time together before this lil dude makes his appearance.”

You smiled, “I’m telling you, it’s a girl.”

I rolled my eyes, “It’s definitely a boy, but stop ignoring my offer.”

“Well, it’s not really an offer so much as it is you telling me that we’re doing this.”

“Okay, yes Garcia helped me book it already, and yes she put in our requests for days off, but you can say no.”

You did your little nose twitch scrunch thing, “I’d never say no to quality time with you, Love.”

You leaned over and kissed me, and I squealed, “I’m so excited! I have to buy maternity bathing suits now! Oh and a sunhat!””

Spencer smiled fondly, recounting that day. He was thrilled to go, minus the part where he’d have to wear shorts, and flip flops. Something about the piece that goes between your toes makes him squeamish. He was looking for the right opportunity to use something special he had bought for you, and you had just given him it. A week on a beautiful beach with the love of his life? That would be the perfect time to ask you what he had been waiting to ask you since JJ’s wedding. He was going to take Hotch’s advice; stop waiting, start doing, and get down on one knee with a blue velvet box.

He never got the chance to. The trip was supposed to be in the beginning of December, around your week twenty-four. You never got that far.

He got up from the ground, immediately digging around in a drawer full of pencils and compasses and rulers, finding the blue box in a corner. It was covered in pencil shavings and dust. He hadn’t looked at it in months. He held it delicately in his hands before opening it.

It was plain, but he remembered you said that was what you wanted.

“Oval, of course and silver,” You had explained to Penelope and JJ at a night out years ago. Derek and Spencer sat on the opposite side of the table, but his ears perked up at the mention of rings.

“I like just the band,” JJ said, admiring her own ring, “And I have Henry’s birthstone, the citrine, so I didn’t need another one.”

“What kind of stone Y/N? I’d love a pink diamond! Or a ruby! Imagine!” Penelope gushed.

You shook your head, “I’d take cubic zirconia, if it was coming from the right guy.”

Both Penelope and JJ stuck their tongues out, “Nuh-uh!” Garcia said, grabbing her phone to scroll through more pinterest photos.

“Spence will be getting you a diamond.”

You rolled your eyes and whispered, “Don’t jinx it JJ! And I don’t want a diamond.”

Her mouth dropped, “No diamond? Really.”

“Diamonds aren’t ethically sourced.”

“Lab grown! Get lab grown!” PG piped it, showing you a picture of a ring, just an oval in a plain silver setting.

“That! That’s the one!” You said and Garcia giggled, going on a rant about her dream wedding.

Spencer had gotten that exact ring. Lab grown, oval, classic, beautiful. It was what you wanted, and you deserved everything you ever wanted.

Spencer looked at the notepad. He could tell you had a hard time picking an item for this letter. He knows this letter is the end, the other two are the epilogue of a story he wishes you kept writing. Crystal Cove is the place where he had planned on asking you to marry him, but it ended up being the place where your love story ended. He tossed the notebook to the side and decided that the souvenir for this letter was now going to be this ring. This ring that sparkled and shined, even in the dull incandescent lights of his kitchen. This ring that belonged on your finger, and not in the back of a drawer. This ring that you didn’t even know existed, but if you had, maybe you’d still be together.

“I did buy three maternity bathing suits, and you bought shorts. Spencer Reid in shorts. It was going to be the best trip ever. We were going to snorkel and look at sea turtles and sunbathe and drink virgin piña coladas by the ocean. We were going to get couples massages and spend every moment loving and appreciating each other.

The actual trip? Much different than the one we had planned on paper, but let’s first discuss that time between the hospital and the trip.

It was four weeks. Four weeks of me sitting at home while you were off at work. Four weeks of the door opening and Derek walking through, not you. And on the odd chance that it was you opening the door, you’d be appearing at odd hours of the night to grab a new suit or a file or a snack and then getting back in your shitty car and going to your apartment. Each time I heard that comforting sound of your satchel hitting the floor, I’d crawl out of the cave of blankets I was in to find you, and you’d act like I wasn’t even there.

For the first few days, you asked me how I was and if I was feeling better, then you’d check your phone and wave goodbye. After that, I was lucky if you’d say hello, then I was lucky if I even got a glimpse of you. You never held me. You never kissed me. You never told me you loved me.

I got all my information about you from Derek. Every day I texted you, “Have a good day at work! Talk soon?” And everyday you didn’t answer, so I’d ask Derek if you were okay. He’d always tell me what you were doing. Usually you would take a stack of files of cases to a dark room and make preliminary profiles to send back to the departments, alone. I’d tell him thank you, and the next day would be the same nonsense.

Those four weeks dragged. It was like every minute was an hour and everyday was a year. I was healing, even without you, everyday I felt better and better. But that’s relative to the day before. I haven’t felt ‘good’ yet. I haven’t felt ‘happiness’ yet. But I will. And I’m counting on that.

My mandatory leave was four weeks, and at the end of that Hotch called me in for a ‘mandatory psychological evaluation.’ I didn’t tell you about it because you weren’t speaking to me, and even when you did you were angry and snappy and rude.

I didn’t pass the evaluation. Even though the BAU wrote those damn questions, I still didn’t pass. When my four weeks were up, you were expecting me at work, and I never showed. You didn’t notice how not okay I was because you were too busy handling your own feelings, which I understand. You have to take care of yourself first, deal with your own trauma before touching anyone else’s. So, your trauma was none of my business, a concept you should've applied to my healing process.

I was supposed to come back on a Monday and when I didn’t show you came to the house. You opened the door and yelled my name. It was a sound I hadn’t heard in weeks, and it felt good. I thought you had finally come home. I thought you were finally ready to heal with me, but you weren’t. You were there to judge me.

I think I ran to where you were, a smile on my face that I didn’t think I was capable of making, “Hey!”

You looked so put together in a neatly pressed suit, but your eyes exposed you. They were bloodshot and the bags were so large they almost reached the end of your nose. I had on one of your shirts; it was comforting at the time. Not so much anymore.

You looked me up and down, a small scowl forming on your face, “Where were you today?”

I took a deep breath, and I lied, because lying to you felt easier than telling you the truth. The truth that I was not deemed stable enough to come back, even though I wanted to. I needed to be distracted. I was ashamed, scared, confused.

“I-I didn’t go.”

“Didn’t go? You’ll get fired Y/N.”

I sighed, “No, my leave got extended.”

I could feel the way your eyes bore into my skull as I dodged eye contact.

“Extended?! It’s been four weeks.”

“I’m not ready!” I desperately wanted you to see through it. I thought I was ready, but the papers disagreed.

“Hotch let you do that?” Your voice was increasing and I found myself inching away from you.

“He encouraged it!” Another lie. He didn’t ‘encourage’ it. He forced me.

You rolled your eyes, grabbing your bag and opening the door again.

“You’re leaving? Spencer c’mon I-”

You cut me off by slamming that door in my face.

That’s when I started closing myself off. I started dreading the sound of your feet against the floor at three am. I started to put my own walls up, but they would dull in comparison to the Great Wall of Spencer you built around yourself to keep me out.”

Spencer was always good at putting walls up. In fact, you were the only person to ever get him to take (almost) all of them down. There’s a side of him he doesn’t show anyone, a side of him that he reserves for himself, and when something happens, that’s where he goes. He goes to the corner of his brain where he feels safe, and the walls come up to protect him.

And in those last four weeks, he did just that. He put the walls up, shut you out, and decided that was better. Except it wasn’t better, it just was easier. It was easier for him to bypass you and find a new outfit for work tomorrow. It was easier for him to disappear in the office until the odd hours of the morning. It was easier for him to hide away from you, because when he’s exposed he always gets hurt. It was easier to act like everything was fine, even though everything was the opposite of fine.

He never needed to go to the house, part of him was drawn there like a moth to a lantern. He was drawn to you. As much as he didn’t want to see those four walls, he still needed to check on you. He just did it in his own damaged way. He’d get a glimpse of you in old sweats and a shirt with a hole in it, hair a mess and mascara from two weeks ago adding to your eye bags and he’d be reminded that he couldn’t be there for you. He would never be enough, and he’d retreat into the comfort of solitude.

He was so preoccupied with being hurt, that he didn’t realize just how much he hurt you too.

“I had forgotten about the stupid trip, and so had you. You were too preoccupied with work and not speaking to me and I was preoccupied with crying and trying to speak to you. I only remembered the trip when I got an email from the airline about the flight, they had to move our seats or something stupid. I decided that was a reason for you to actually need to speak to me like I was a person, so I took advantage of it.

I intercepted you at home one day. I had been sitting in the kitchen waiting for you. You came home at two am.

“Hey,” I said, immediately as you walked through the door. You looked surprised that I was up.

“Hi, I’m just gonna—“

“Spencer, stop. We have to talk.”

You crossed your arms, not leaving the threshold of the door, “No. I told you a million times Y/N, I don’t want to talk.”

“Not about...” I couldn’t find the words and you started up the stairs.

“Are we going on this damn trip or not?” I said, my voice cracking from lack of use.

You stopped, looking over the banister at me, “You didn’t cancel it?”

“I didn’t think of it until now. We’re supposed to leave in two days.”

You groaned, “Why didn’t you cancel it?”

I threw my hands up. As if all of this was my responsibility?

“I was preoccupied! Did you cancel your days off?”

You shook your head, rubbing your face, “No, God. Can we still get a refund?”

I was hurt that you didn’t want to go, but not surprised. As I stared at the front door from my spot at the kitchen table I decided that I was going to go no matter what. It was going to be refreshing to look at the ocean instead of an empty nursery. That would be my distraction.

“I-I’m going. I’ll pay for your half, but I’m going. I’m losing my mind here, Spence.”

You looked at me again, still contemplating your options.

“I get it, okay? You can’t be in this house, but neither can I. Maybe we can talk and stuff on neutral ground. I-I just want you there with me, the way it was supposed to be.”

Then you took me by surprise, you nodded, “Yeah, yeah we’ll go.”

I’m sure I lit up like Rockefeller Center at Christmas, “Really?”

You rubbed your eyes, “Yeah, we can go Y/N.”

I was feeling lucky, so I pushed it, too hard, “Are you staying tonight?”

Your voice went from sleepy to sour, “No.”

And you vanished up the stairs, taking all my hope in us with you.

I knew deep down it wouldn’t end well. I knew it was going to be fighting and yelling and arguing, but any time with you was good time with you at that point. And I favored the little bit of serotonin and dopamine you flood my brain with as opposed to staring at the gray walls of the kitchen alone.”

Spencer only agreed to go because he thought he was getting there. Everyday he felt a little better when he’d walk through the door, but he still wasn’t ready. He thought a week of no work and no one to talk to except you would bring the walls down. This would finally be the catalyst in a reaction that was taking far too long to complete. He also couldn’t stand the thought of you flying and spending a week alone. He felt better about you being alone here because you weren’t really alone. You had Derek visiting, Garcia dropping off baskets, phone calls from Emily, the odd visit from Rossi, and apparently phone calls to Hotch, but on that island you’d really be alone, and he was worried about how you’d handle it.

“So two days later we got on a three hour flight to Miami, and I drove our rental car to this resort. We didn’t talk much the whole time, besides some small talk about the flight and other odd comments. It was painfully awkward, and I regretted even coming.

We didn’t speak until I used the keycard to open the door, and we stared at the one king sized bed in the room.

“Oh,” was all you said when you realized you’d have to share with me.

“What?”

“There’s only one bed.”

I rolled my eyes, “Spencer, we’ve shared a bed for three years.”

You just stood at the door with your hands fidgeting on the handle of the suitcase, “I’ll call down and ask for a cot to be brought up.”

“A cot? Are you serious?” I couldn’t believe you, “Why come if you wouldn’t even share a bed with me? I said I’d be fine alone.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but changed your mind.

“Great communication skills Spence. Really, I’m impressed.” You rolled your eyes and finally started to unpack your bag, “I came because I was worried about what you’d do here all alone.”

Part of me was happy you were worried, but a bigger part was annoyed, “I’ve been handling being alone fine, thanks.”

You scoffed, “Yeah. That’s why you need Derek to bring you food everyday, because you’re doing so well.”

I bit my tongue and tried to speak calmly, “Well at least someone checks on me everyday.”

That shut you right up.

The three days you were there went as follows: we slept as far apart from each other as we could, despite how badly I wanted to cuddle into your arms. We’d get up in silence, eat breakfast in silence, walk to the beach and read in silence, eat lunch and dinner in silence, and each night we’d yell at each other until we fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed.

Remember what I said to trigger the fight on December third, your last day there? How could you forget? It’s the fight that broke us up.

“So, I was thinking of going to a counselor,” I said, staring at the waves lap the sand from the balcony of our room. The air felt cold for eighty degrees. But maybe that was just because the air between me and you had been cold for weeks.

You were sitting next to me, but I could tell you were worlds away.

“Spence,” I nudged, trying to snap you out of your daydream.

“Hm? What?”

“I said I’m going to go to a counselor.”

You twisted your face, “A counselor? What for?”

I shrugged, “I-I think it’d be good for me. It’s a grief counselor.”

You turned to look at me, your brow covered in sweat and your eyes watery. You were incessantly bouncing your left leg, rubbing at your nose, and you seemed disinterested in every single thing I was saying or doing. In fact, you’d been acting that way since the first day you disappeared to your apartment.

“Counselor? Yeah,” You were fidgeting, barely making eye contact.

A feeling I can only describe as pure dread formed in my stomach. I thought I might puke, but I swallowed the feeling and kept talking, “I got a recommendation from Hotch. He said he went to Dr. Stevens after Haley died. He said it really helped.”

You were still not listening.

“I think it’d be good if we went together.”

That finally got your undivided attention. “Together?” You snapped, “No.”

“Why not?” I said it with an air of exhaustion and despair. I was tired of this. So fucking tired of it.

“I’m not going to a damn therapist, Y/N,” You seethed, your metal deck chair scraping against the concrete as you stood in front of me.

The sky looked stormy, palm trees whipping in the wind as you came before me. The bags under your eyes looked like bruises, and you had on sleeves. It was eighty and you had on sleeves.

“Okay, I’ll go alone then. I think he could really help us though.”

I was giving up on fighting. I didn’t understand how when I was at my absolute low you could just keep kicking me while I was down. All I wanted was for you to go to someone and talk about it. That’s it. You were acting like I’d asked you to move a mountain for me, which, might I add, at one point you would have done.

“He? You really think a male therapist is going to help? You lost a baby, Y/N—“

“WE,” I clarified, for what felt like the fiftieth time, “We lost a baby.”

You rolled your eyes and ignored me, “You lost a baby. How does a male therapist help you through that?”

I was angry now. It was bubbling up to the top and I thought I might explode.

“He’s a grief counselor! He’ll help me through my GRIEF! And I think you should go because clearly you have a lot going on. You always have! You should’ve been seeing someone for years.”

“Oh, I have a lot going on?” You sneered, “Of course I have a lot going on! I go to work everyday to bring you home a paycheck so you can sit around all day and do nothing.”

I stood up, got close to your face, “I’m on leave.”

“Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that.”

You bypassed me and went inside, and my hot anger turned into wet anger and fat tears were rolling down my cheeks.

“Do you know how traumatic this was on my body? Do you? Everything hurts and you were supposed to be there! You were supposed to take four weeks off too! You were supposed to be there for me!”

“Yeah and who’s there for me!” You yelled, louder than I think you ever had; at me at least. You had thrown your suitcase on the bed, haphazardly grabbing your clothes from the drawers and shoving them in.

“I would’ve been,” I said softly, coming up behind you to grab your arm lightly, “If you had let me.”

You pulled back, “Don’t touch me!”

I reached up to wipe my eyes and crossed my arms in front of myself defensively, “I want to be there for you, Spencer. I do. Why won’t you let me?”

You didn’t answer, because even you didn’t know why. You just stood over the suitcase, one arm on either side of it, hair matted to your sweaty face, panting and panting.

The facts I had chosen to ignore were staring me in the face again. Or maybe I was just that oblivious.

“I’ve never seen you like this. This isn’t you, Love,” I tried to say in my most soothing voice. The dread had clawed its way back up to the back of my throat.

“Or maybe this is me,” you said softly, and I swear you were crying. Or maybe I hoped you were, that way we were both sobbing. That’s as close to togetherness as we could get.

“Maybe this is who I am now, or who I’ve been all along.”

I reached out for you again, but stopped myself, “No, Spencer. The real you isn’t this angry, and bitter, and mean.”

You slammed your hands against the bed, “Yes it is!”

“Is that what you’ve been doing all this time?” I said sadly, shaky breaths between words, “Is that what you’ve been going to your apartment and doing?”

You turned around, skin sweaty and eyes red, “What? What are you talking about now? God, do you ever stop talking?”

I snapped, ignoring your last jab there, “Are you using?”

Your face contorted into a sour expression, “Am I using?”

“Yeah, Spencer! Are you? Because I can’t see any other reason for why you’re so irritable and sweaty and out of it! So I’ll ask you again, are you going through withdrawal?”

You looked like I had literally punched you in the gut, and I kind of had. It was a low blow, I’ll admit it, but I was seriously worried about you. If an event would trigger you, this would’ve been it.

“What? No!”

I wasn’t sure whether or not I should believe you, but I knew I had to support you either way. I love you, even when you’re angry at me, I still love you. Even when you throw clothes and seethe at me through gritted teeth, I still love you. That’s my fatal flaw. No matter how many reasons you give me to stop loving you, I never will.”

Spencer let out a shaky breath, lower lip pinched between his teeth. Was he really that terrible? He didn’t remember being so spiteful. Reading it back, he understood why you thought he was high, and he had thought about it more than he cared to admit. But he hadn’t touched the stuff in seven years, and he wasn’t about to start again now.

‘No matter how many reasons you give me to stop loving you, I never will.’

That line made him want to cry, hands clenching the ring box as if it were a stress ball. That line simultaneously felt like a stab in the gut and a breath of fresh air. He had given you so many reasons to walk away, and the one reason to stay was there in his palm, unused.

““It’s okay if you are. I understand this is a... hard time. I’ll support you through this,” I put my hands out to touch your chest.

“I’m not high and haven’t been in years!” You swatted my hands down.

“Then what the hell is going on!?”

“I’m angry and I’m sad and I’m heartbroken!” You yelled, going back out onto the balcony to stand in the rain that had started pouring down in sheets.

“Spencer! Stop!” I followed you out, tears mixing with rain to the point that I didn’t know which was which.

“I’m just confused! It’s hard to see the point in all this anymore. Maybe it’s just not worth it,” You said, yelling at the ocean not at me. Rain soaked our clothes instantly. Part of me was hoping this scene would end like the ‘notebook’ we’d kiss and you’d spin me around. I guess this is kind of like the notebook, it’s a story to help you remember us. Except you don’t have Alzheimer’s and I wrote 15 letters, not 365.

“Maybe what’s not worth it?” I was yelling too, just so you could hear me over the sound of the wind and the rain.

“This!” You gestured between us. I felt like you knocked the air out of me, my whole body stinging.

“But I love you!”

“All of this has made me realize that love isn’t everything! I love you too but we need more than that!”

That was the first time I’d heard you say ‘I love you’ in a month, but it was a double edged sword. I bit my lip so hard I think I started bleeding, “Love isn’t enough? Are you kidding me, Spencer?”

You swallowed thickly, “No! I’m not kidding. I’ve never been more serious!”

“So what? That’s it?” I said it quietly, but I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to scream that you were being an idiot. You were being ridiculous. You were being unnecessarily cruel. But I didn’t. I was tired and water logged. I had finally given up.

You ran your hands through your hair, “No–it’s–we we aren’t over Y/N. I’m just saying that it’s gonna take more than love to fix us.”

“Well maybe if you were ever home, we could actually try. But you aren’t. You’re always gone! So explain to me how we’re going to fix this. What’s it gonna take Spencer? What do you want from me?”

You took a deep breath, uttering words I was so sick of hearing, “We need space and time.”

“Space? Time? It’s been a month Spencer! I let you go to work. I let you spend every day at your damn apartment. I stopped calling. I stopped checking in. How much more space and time do you want?”

“Thirty-four days,” you mumbled, just so I could barely hear. The thunder rolled, mostly drowning it out.

“What was that?”

“It’s been THIRTY-FOUR days, Y/N. Thirty-four. I don’t know how you expect me to be okay after only thirty-four days.”

“I don’t expect you to be fine! I expect you to speak to me! To look at me! I want to go to bed crying and have you there next to me. I want to be there for you when you’re crying. The only way we get better is if we do this TOGETHER!”

The anger looked like it melted off of you, and I took that as my opportunity to approach. I threw my arms around your soaked body as you shook with sobs into my shoulder. I held you like my life depended on it, because in a way it did. You wrapped your arms around me too, and everything felt okay. We were standing in the pouring rain, holding each other as we cried, and somehow I felt more okay than I had in the thirty-four days prior. It felt like maybe you were coming back to me.

You weren’t.

We stood like that for what felt like hours, and eventually I pulled you inside. I wish I didn’t. I wish we stayed there, holding each other in the rain until the sun came up and dried us off. I foolishly thought the rain washed our sins away.

“It’s going to be okay,” I said, my head on your shoulder as we wrapped ourselves in towels, “I promise.”

You shrugged me off of you, going back to packing your bag.

“Spencer, stop packing, please,” I begged, grabbing the items you were putting in and taking them back out.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” you said plainly, taking a shirt and putting it back in.

“I-I thought—“

“Thought what, Y/N? That because I cried to you and told you I loved you that we were magically okay?”

I stammered, “No. No! But I thought it meant we were in this together now.”

“You just accused me of relapsing an hour ago.”

“And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but that’s not a reason you should go,” I pleaded, reaching for you again. I thought if you walked away I’d never see you again.

“You don’t trust me,” your voice cracked.

“No, Love, I—“

“Don’t call me that.”

The pain in my chest bloomed, sending a wave of heartache through my entire body. A heartache I still haven’t been able to shake. It’s still there. Some days it's a thunder crack and sometimes it's a low grumble, but it’s always there. The rain hasn't stopped.

I hadn’t even realized that you were completely packed until you zipped the suitcase shut.

“You’re really leaving?”

You stopped at the door, hand on the handle, to turn and face me. I didn’t need to use my profiling skills to see how much pain you were in, and my pain doubled at the sight. I’ve always been an empath when it comes to you, feeling what you feel like it’s my own.

“I am.”

I crossed the room and threw my arms around you, sobbing into your chest. To my surprise, you wrapped your arms around me lightly.

“I understand,” I said, looking into your eyes, “We can’t be there for each other the way we need to.”

You nodded into my shoulder, “Stay. When you get home from this we’ll talk. I just need a few more days.”

I shook my head, finally coming to the realization that we didn’t work anymore. We weren’t healthy anymore.

“Don’t bother. The writing’s on the wall, Spence,” my voice wavered, and I regretted every word as they left my mouth, “I’ve been waiting for that person from the hospital to come home to me. I’ve been waiting for the Spencer who lends me his shirts and fact dumps and eats IHOP and ice cream with me to come home.”

I felt your breath stop under my arms, “But that Spencer, the Spencer I love, isn’t here anymore. We need to be alone.”

I felt you shake with tears under me, and that triggered mine, “We have to break up.”

I wish I never said it. I wish I gave you those few days, but we both know those few days would’ve turned into weeks and months and we would’ve ended up here anyway. I wish you didn’t let me say them. I wish you kissed me to shut me up and told me I was being stupid. I wish I didn’t watch you go down that elevator, tears on your cheeks. I wish I didn’t spend the other four days in an empty king sized bed, crying for you.

I realize now that you changed. I did too. Instead of wishing for the old you, I should’ve learned to love the new you. I think I would’ve, if I had given it a chance. Actually, I know I would’ve. I think I’d fall in love with every version of you that could ever exist or has ever existed. You and I, we’re meant to be together.

I know you probably don’t believe in it, but I like to think that we’re twin flames; we’re two halves of one soul that somehow ended up in two bodies and constantly pull to find each other again. I’ve read a lot about them recently. Twin flames don’t necessarily end up together. They can even just be two people with an intense friendship. They’re people who help each other grow, even if that means they’re only in your life for a short time. I like to think that we are that case, and that in some parallel universe I’m with you and we have our daughter and we’re happy. I just wish that I was in that universe now.

I know it’s for the best that we went to the damn Crystal Cove and broke up. I’m sure someday in the future I’ll be pleased with that decision, but for now, I still regret it.”

Spencer stared at the notepad, eyes flicking between that in his left hand and the ring box in his right. He took the ring out and admired it in the light. It glinted and glimmered, delicately refracting light onto the cabinets. He slid it halfway down his ring finger because that’s as far as it would go. He imagined it was on your slender, perfectly manicured hand instead of his, but an ache formed where his heart was when he realized it’d never end up here.

Spencer grabbed the notebook. It was unlined and the paper felt flimsy and thin. He got up from the floor to find a pencil in the drawer the ring had been hidden in, and took it out to scrawl his own letter to go with his own memento. A sixteenth letter for a sixteenth item you had no idea even existed.

“Y/N,

I’d like to consider this letter sixteen, to go with the engagement ring that’s in my palm. I bought this ring the day after we ate dinner at Rossi’s and showed everyone tiny FBI onesies. I have your perfect ring here in my hand, a plain silver band with a lab-grown diamond in a four-prong setting in the center, just like you told Garcia you wanted. I should’ve given it to you the day I bought it, but I waited until the perfect opportunity presented itself.

What you didn’t know about the trip to the Crystal Cove was that I was going to propose to you there. I was going to get down on one knee in the sand at sunset after dinner. I even had a whole speech planned. I was going to tell you that I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love you, or that anyone would ever love me the way that you do. I was going to say that it amazes me how everyday, I wake up and love you more than I did the night before. And everyday I think it’s be impossible to love you and our daughter more than I do right now. I wanted to tell you that I want to wake up every morning and feel that for the rest of my life. I want the good, the bad, the ugly, I want it all. I want Korean film festivals and IHOP breakfasts and to talk to the moon. I want tubs of ice cream and overly sentimental flowers hanging from the wall. Most of all I wanted to say that I want to spend every day of my life making you happy.

That speech still applies today. I still love you enough to ask you, but I don’t think you love me enough to say yes.

It’s okay. It really is. I haven’t decided what to do yet, but if you do read this, just know that it’s okay. I promise you, it’s okay. I’m not the bitter, angry man I was at the Crystal Cove anymore. I changed again, and I hope you’re right. I hope we are twin flames and your soul will come looking for mine, and I hope it happens in this universe, not the infinite parallels that may or may not exist. I miss you and I want nothing more than for you to come back. Come home, Love, please come home.

-SR”

He stared at the notebook page, before tearing it off and folding it in half, placing it in his pocket for safekeeping. He went on his computer and bought the cheapest one-way ticket to Seattle that he could find. He needed to see you. He needed you to see this letter, see this ring. He needed to make this right.

The flight was a red eye, leaving at midnight, so he’d get to the Seattle field office by eight. He looked at the leather watch and saw that it was nearly nine. He decided had to finish, and he had to finish now, as he grabbed letter #14.

PART 14

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Taglist!

@l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings @ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1 @mellifluouswildbluebells @rottenearly @sammypotato67 @blushingwueen @peaxhyjaes @justanotherfangurlz @juniorgman187 @mbowles23-blog @blameitonthenight21 @goldentournesol @rainsong01 @thelifeofadumbbitch @swimmingtrashwobblersludge @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @eldahae

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer x you #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #cm #matthew gray gubler #mgg #dr spencer reid

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samanthadalton · 4 years

Text

Bottled up part 3 (finale)

I feel like I’ve left this one for way too long but I finally finished it.

pairings: Ava Lawrence x Emma Price

taglist: @cloud9in @alexroyard @midnitesteph @kamilahsayeet2063 @dopeyouth (again some people aren’t showing up im so sorry)

word count: 2.3k (i hope you enjoy guys)

Reality comes crashing down when I see Ava turning away from me running into the direction Bayla has run off too.

“I have a girlfriend.”

That sentence rings in my head over and over again as I try to assimilate the last few minutes. Bayla was just here and she saw me and Ava almost kiss. Yep that most definitely happened. And now Ava is chasing after Bayla when it is painfully obvious she doesn’t want to be with her, she wants to be with.. me. I thought when I kissed Ava the first time, I would be thrown into oblivion and be lost in my thoughts and feelings. I mean I spent so much time trying to disentangle what my feelings for Ava would mean for me, but when I felt her lips against mine the answer is painstakingly obvious, it’s simply just love. I’m in love with Ava Lawrence.

Ava’s POV

Crap. Crap. Crap.

This is the last thing I wanted to happen. Bayla wasn’t supposed to see me and Emma like that. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. My thoughts are running a million miles a minute and my quads are starting to slightly burn as I try to catch Bayla. Damn she’s pretty fast for someone who’s not athletic at all. I manage to catch her silhouette as she runs to the parking lot, so I take a deep breath and just keep running ignoring the burning sensation in my legs and the pang of guilt in my heart.

“Bayla wait!” my hand clasps around her arm as I bring myself to stop running, which jerks Bayla back, crashing into me. She screams and clings onto my arms as she stabalises herself but as soon as we make eye contact she pulls away from me and I can clearly see the tear stains on her face and my heart shatters into a million pieces.

“Bayla please.” I feel the tears prick my eyes as my voice cracks while I try to plead with her.

“What the hell do you want me to say Ava, you and Emma were about to-” she cuts herself off, running a distressed hand over her face. “God I’m such an idiot.”

“No you’re not, I am I-” I realise that I have no idea what to say to Bayla, I wasn’t really about Bayla when my lips were centimeters away from Emma's. My mind scrambles for a response but I falter, clamming my lips shut.

“I am. I should've known Emma would get in between us.” She spits out Emma’s name with disgust as her eyes angrily bore into mine. I remember Emma telling me about Bayla’s threat and anger begins infiltrating my body and the next thing I know I’m screaming at Bayla.

“Is that why you told her to stay away from me? Because she’s not good for me?” I raise my hands putting my fingers in air quotes and Bayla looks at me stunned.

“I-.” She takes a half step back before resolve suddenly seems to wash all over her face, her eyebrows furrowing together in conviction. “And I was right to, I mean she isn’t good for you. You even told me that yourself.”

“She’s my best friend, you can’t dictate who I can and can’t be friends with.”

“I was just looking out for you, like a good girlfriend does but I guess I was wrong.”

“Bayla…” my voice trails off as I take in her tone that's laced with hurt and begin to break down, the tears I repressed earlier, begin to free fall as I fall under the heavy blanket of guilt. “Bayla I’m so sorry.” Bayla takes in my distressed demeanour and her gaze slightly softens but her body language indicates she’s still vigilant.

“What happened between you two?” she hesitates for a second, before her eyes flicker to mine, filled with agony.

“Last week, we-” I pause, wondering if I should tell the truth, but my mind drifts off to Emma and I take the plunge, “we kissed.” The silence stretches between the two of us as Bayla just stares at me, her expression barren. “I don’t know what happened, we were talking about the last couple of months and then Emma admitted she had feelings for me and then, I don’t know next thing I know we were kissing.”

We bask in the awkward silence for a few more moments before Bayla curses softly under her breath, but this time when I meet her gaze all I see is acceptance, “I guess I shouldn’t have tried dating the girl who’s in love with her best friend,” though her tone drips with sarcasm I sense the hint of envy masked behind her voice, “i don’t really know what to say now to be honest.”

“Neither do I,” my cheeks flush in embarrassment as I awkwardly tear my gaze away from Bayla looking down on the ground.

“So I guess it’s over?”

I nod, the words lodged in my throat but I’m unable to speak them out.

“For what it’s worth, I hope Emma is worth it,” and with that she walks off without a second glance.

I exhale a deep breath, whether it was from relief or guilt I’m unsure but right now my heart hurts too much to even contemplate it. Even though Bayla wasn’t my first love I did care about her, she made me feel so comfortable about my sexuality and made me feel at ease when I was thinking about Emma. But I’m in love with Emma, I always have been, but I’m left even more confused because now I join Noah and Mason competing for her heart and I don’t know if that’s a battle I want to go through. Whatever would happen, it could wait until tomorrow, right now there’s a huge pint of ice cream calling my name at home. Before I step into my car, I browse at the school building wondering where Emma is since I haven’t seen her leave yet but just as I’m about to step into my car, I see Emma amble out of the entrance, her eyes wandering as she looks lost in thought.

Her eyes saunter around until they land on mine and she tortuously looks away. My heart aches as I watch her debate with herself as her eyes flit over to me but then back to the pathway of the exit to the school.

Emma’s POV

I thought I waited long enough for Ava to have left but I guess not. My heart practically skips a beat as I see her, standing next to her car door. She looks like she’s been crying and it takes all my strength not to run up to her right now and wrap her in a tight hug. I look out to the exit of the school and then back to Ava, she hasn’t moved from her spot since she’s noticed me. After a few more moments of deliberation, I push away all my ill-advised thoughts and begin walking towards her. Almost as if she’s expecting me, she moves to sit in the driver's seat of her car and patiently waits for me to get into the passenger seat before starting the engine.

The silence hangs in the air, as Ava fixates her attention to the empty roads ahead of her, the car’s headlights illuminating the road ahead of us as the sky darkens even more, its before dimly lit sky subdues into a velvety night sky, as a few stars begin to peak through. Soon enough Ava pulls up to the driveway to my house, still, not a single word has been spoken the entire drive down. Just as I’m about to climb out of the car, Ava reaches out and touches my arm and I slightly jerk at the touch of her cold hand.

“Emma I- '', her brows furrow together as she deliberates what to say next but after the recent breakthrough I made about loving Ava I know I can’t hold myself back anymore.

“I’m in love with you,” I squeak out, the words jumbling together in an incoherent sentence.

“Huh?”

Crap she didn’t hear me. I take a slow deep breath before shifting in my seat to gaze at Ava, ready to bare it all “Ava, I love you.” She retracts her hand from my arm, I forgot it was even there in the first place, and looks at me, dumbfounded.

“Emma don’t,” her voice is barely a whisper as she looks at me like I’m making a bad choice but determination sets in me, edging me to keep going.

“After our kiss I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for a while. I guess I’ve been so scared to admit it because if I do it means everything between us changes but I’ve realised that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” I look over at Ava, her brows creased even more than before, as she mulls over my words but she still remains silent and words keep sprouting from my mouth in an attempt to make this any less awkward than it already is. “I know I’ve been really confused the last couple of months but the truth is, no one has ever made me feel the way you do. Not Noah, not Mason, only you. Every time you smile at me I get these butterflies in my stomach and I do everything in my power to have you smile and look at me like that again. Or when you touch me, I feel like my body is on fire, and I never want you to let go. When we kissed, I felt so absolute. I know you’re with Bayla and I-”

“No.” she softly speaks out.

“No?” I repeat after her, in a confused tone, I can almost feel my heart splitting into two.

“Bayla broke up with me.”

“Oh.” Although part of me is screaming with happiness, another part of me feels bad knowing that it most likely ended because of me. “I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not.”

“I am. Bayla was good to you, and she was there for you. That’s more than I can say.”

“She knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That I was in love with you. And maybe part of her accepted that you would always be my first real love but maybe another part knew that she could never be you.” This time Ava’s staring deeply into my eyes, her earlier awkward demeanour breaking away with each word she speaks replaced with resolve. “I love you too.”

Without missing a beat, I move my head towards her, capturing her lips in mine. Her hands move up, her fingers tangle in my hair pulling me closer as I lose myself in the softness of her lips. I open my mouth more, gladly welcoming her tongue into it, as it begins moving with mine. We kiss like we need each other to survive, like we’re living off the feeling we’re giving each other and we kiss for a few more moments until she breaks the kiss, resting her forehead against mine.

“Wow,” I breathe out, fully entranced by the beauty that is Ava Lawrence. Ava lets out an airy laugh before her eyes bore into mine.

“What do we do now?”

“Well I would love to kiss you again.” She gives me a playful smack on my arm in retort. “Ow, hey.”

“I’m serious Emma, what do we do?” She nervously chews on her lip, her body language slightly skirmish as she awaits for my answer.

“I meant what I said Ava, I love you. I think the reason why I was always so hesitant about Noah and Mason is because I was missing something from them both, but with you it feels complete.”

Ava giggles in the cutest way and pulls me in for another kiss.

3 months later

I watch the football from the stands, with Mack and dad, cheering for Mason and Noah as they work on the field as a tag team duo and obliterate the other team in the first half of the game. The buzzers go off and I start cheering even harder because I know it’s time for the cheerleaders. I see Ava leading the girls onto the field and I give her a wave which she responds with a wink. The routine starts and Mack and dad cover their ears as I scream for Ava.

“Wooooooooo that’s my girlfriend,” as Ava does a series of flips. The routine ends but they begin playing a different song, a slower one and realisation washes over me as I recognise the song, this is Ava and I’s song. Toni comes over and takes my hand, yanking me towards the field, I protest, unsure about what is happening but Toni ignores all my pleas and continues pulling me towards the rest of the girls. The girls are suddenly holding a huge banner with prom written on it as my eyes flit around looking for Ava’s. A tap on my shoulder breaks my out of my reverie as I turn around to see Ava kneeling on the floor, holding a bouquet of roses in one hand while her other intertwines with mine.

“Will you go to prom with me?”

My heart bursts full of joy as I take in the glowing smile on Ava’s face, I pull her up and move in to give her a kiss. Behind us the crowd starts cheering and whooping but my attention is focused on the beautiful girl in front of me.

“You didn’t give me an answer.”

“Yes you idiot,” I pull Ava in for another kiss, content that I’ll be going to prom with my girlfriend.

#playchoices #my two first loves #mtfl #mtfl ava #Ava Lawrence #ava xmc

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purplecantaloupe · 4 years

Text

**gif is not mine**

i was reading a calum fic just now and thought back to my old writings which sprung this idea in my head and i had to whip my laptop out and get to work. the lowercase and awkward grammar is intended ig i hope you enjoy <3

i had previously written a request for fwb!cal and as my mom would say “not my best work” but as i would say “it fucking sucked balls” so im making this kind of the rewrite for that monstrosity.

anon, if youre out there this is for you bby i hope this satisfies your soul <33

Explanation: so basically this is fwb!cal along with sub!cal and a bit of femdom!y/n which y/n gets pissed off that calum won’t interact with her, conflict/resolution as some might say.

Warnings: femdom!y/n; sub!cal; this is a WHOLE lotta smut, a few minutes of angst here and there, and a little fluff at the end (bc who doesn’t love a happy ending?)

Also I’m sorry for the spacing, I really don’t know what happened there :/

it was the last straw with calum, he’d been constantly on his phone the whole day and since it had been pouring outside for the most part you couldn’t go nurture your garden like you had intended. all day he’d been sitting and giggling at his phone, maybe the boys sending him some stupid texts or maybe it was some of his fans tagging him in memes on twitter, who the fuck knows but y/n was thoroughly annoyed. being stuck in the house all day with calum and not interacting physically with him had gotten to you, he hadn’t even said a word to you since breakfast! you even asked if he wanted to fuck around just to pass the time away and he just shook his head and mumbled out a, “not in the mood.” needless to say, you were irritated. so irritated to the point that you stood up from your comfortable position on the couch with a huff, stalking to your room and shut the door with your foot before laying face down on your bed, finally being engulfed in silence from his constant snickers and you could hear the rain hitting your bedroom window as it gave you a sense of serenity.

after lying on your bed for what felt like maybe ten minutes, you hear the front door open and shut, assuming that calum went out for a smoke. this was the time that you took to go out and grab as many snacks and anything that you’d need for the whole night, having the whole weekend off from work, you decided that you’d be staying in your room, giving calum a taste of his own medicine. after raiding your shared kitchen, you head back to your bedroom and decide to find something on netflix to watch and drown out calum when he comes back.

after awhile of mindlessly watching something on netflix for who knows how long, you hear the door open and shut and a couple pairs of feet walking around downstairs before they make their way up them and pass your room. feminine giggles erupt from the stranger and you hear calum’s door shut and you knew exactly what was going to happen in the next few minutes. you thanked every god above that you couldn’t hear what they were doing behind the closed bedroom door, every now and then you could hear a squeal from the end of the hall which only made you turn your television up louder.

you and calum made the agreement when you started your friends with benefits situation, you would be allowed to see other people and do whatever you wanted but you had to have some type of respect for the other; if you had another friend over, you’d be considerate and let the other person know ahead of time. to which he did not inform you that he was having a friend come over. you’d tried earlier to get it on but he rejected you which made your mood skyrocket into the ground along with your heart. it wasn’t calum’s rejection that stung you but the fact that he wouldn’t even give you the time of day without letting out a sigh and mumbling an answer before giggling at his screen again. suddenly it dawned on you, he wasn’t giggling at his phone because the guys of his fans were being funny, no, he was giggling because he was texting the girl that is probably laying in his bed right now, in the same spot you were lying in just the night before. the sounds have subsided but the ache in your heart stayed the same, ‘guess the last few months have just been time wasted that you could’ve been spending on somebody else’ you thought.

this was an all new low for calum, sure you’d had your fair share of other hook-ups but they never were there when calum was home, you had respect for him and yourself but apparently the feelings weren’t reciprocated. the message has been heard loud and clear. he didn’t care about you nearly as much as you care about him.

you hear silence from calum’s side of the hall which you take as a sign they’ve both passed out to which you make a break for it. jogging down the stairs and to your car through the rain that still hasn’t let up, you climb in the vehicle and you’re on your own to find yourself a meaningless hookup.

about an hour later you have your side piece’s head between your thighs as you’re belting out every curse word you can think of, your mind racing through nothing but tunnels as your vision darkens sans the stars you see around your head. jason was the nicest man you’d met since you moved to los angeles, he knew how to treat a woman’s body but also how to make you feel like you were floating. of course you two didn’t go farther than just sex, jason didn’t want a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and you had calum at home so nothing would come of this affair.

jason came up and pressed his lips to yours, laying one hand up next to your head and the other was laying between your folds, collecting your orgasm before pulling away slightly and inserting his pointer finger into his mouth and sucking you off of him before he slides his middle finger into your mouth letting you both have a taste before you attach tongues again, tasting you with a bit of mint thrown into the mix. he pulls his fingers out of you mouth to blindly slide a condom on, never breaking the kiss before he slides himself in your tight walls then returns his hand to the side of your face. he definitely wants as big as calum is but he definitely knows how to use his cock, swirling his hips to make a beautiful rhythm between your bodies. much to your demise he pulls his mouth away from yours and attaches it to your neck and toying with your breasts with his free hand. he bit and nibbled on your neck, making sure to keep you stimulated, earning light squeals from you as he gently bit your throat then swirled his tongue to soothe the sting, though his hips never faltering. your hands were buried in his hair, tugging when he would do something you particularly liked which made him want to burst right there. jason was a peculiarly attractive man, he had long enough brown hair that you could grab ahold of and tug on as much as you wanted to, (calum’s was long enough to pull but you couldn’t really get a good grip on it) his eyes were a deep shade of emerald but he never really kept eye contact long enough for you to notice the little specks like calum’s deep brown eyes when the sun hits them just right you can see the flecks of yellow and almost auburn. jason’s hands were smaller than calum’s, he could hold your whole breast in his hand while jason’s hand was smaller and his fingers didn’t reach quite the same spots inside of you as calum’s long digits do.

jason’s hips practically had a mind of their own filling you up deliciously downstairs while his hands and mouth explored your upper body, never staying in one place which had your mind reeling.

by the time you both spilled over the edge, you were putty in his hands, despite your body’s buzzing of the aftershock, you gave jason a wave and jogged to your car from the rundown apartment building that jason lived in, he’s a messier man than calum ever could be, never really cleans up after himself. you would never judge somebody for their income or their living style but having known ahead of time you’d expect him to clean up a little before you’d arrive… maybe he did, that thought alone sent shivers down your spine. the fact there were multiple pizza boxes and other pieces of garbage lying around the living room as you two were walking through to the bedroom; calum was one to always make sure that if anyone was coming over, even if the maid he’d hired came over, he’d always make sure the house was presentable.

once you left jason’s and embarrassingly compared him to your other affair, you decided to go to home, making sure once you parked that you didn’t see his friend’s car there, which you didn’t and you walked up to your bedroom. on the way through the house you noticed calum sitting on the couch with his phone in his hands and his attention on the television, he hadn’t even acknowledged that you were home. you silently scoffed to yourself before shaking your head and ascend up the stairs to your room. in the moment you found yourself wanting calum to want you.

you found (in your opinion) your sexiest bra and panty set that you were aware that calum hadn’t known about; he never needed to know about your lingerie collection due to never having to really seduce him, he was the one who always started things off and tonight that was going to change. for once in you and calum’s relationship, you were the one who was going to show him the ropes, you are going to be in control. once you were satisfied in your outfit choice, you went to your bathroom and showered jason’s funk and sweat off of you then made your way to your bedroom, and made sure you had moisturized yourself before blow drying your hair and making it look almost as if you actually were trying to get calum’s attention, which you were but you wanted the fact to be subtle. you changed and slid a long white shirt on top that was almost see through which you most definitely could see the dark blue lace of the lingerie which complimented your skin almost too well.

you made your way downstairs, the first floor being lit up by the spotlights on the ceiling as well as the tv, calum’s head was still watching the show he was so invested in until you walked past the screen and turned to look at him innocently. you turned back around to the dvd movies under the tv cabinet and bent over, your behind stuck out from under the shirt just enough that calum could see what you were wearing underneath. calum let out an annoyed sigh as he craned his neck to keep watching his show as you picked out a random movie. you stood tall and looked at him with all of the pent up annoyance you’d suffered with all day.

“calum what the fuck is up with you today?” you say almost yelling.

his reaction was only making you angrier by the second, he barely even moved a muscle he just shrugged one shoulder and put his eyes back on the screen. you tightened your grip on the dvd case before you stood directly in front of him to block his view to which he just looked down at his phone and started scrolling through any form of social media. you grabbed his phone and laid it on the table, despite your subconscious saying to throw it as hard as you could against the wall, it fell to the table with a light clunk noise. you leaned over in front of him, hands on either side of the chair he was sitting in, giving him a good view down the front of your shirt but he stared past your eyes to the wall behind you. you gently but firmly took his chin between your thumb and index fingers and turned his face to look at you, which he looked into your eyes for a brief moment before he averted them to your legs.

“calum i swear to god if you don’t fucking look at me i’m gonna go batshit,” you say, your hands trembling with rage. “please just tell me what’s wrong, i can’t take this,” your voice cracks towards the end and you damn your genes for making you so sensitive during confrontation.

calum heard your voice crack and he looked at you, finally saying a real sentence to you, which broke the crack to your heart and shattered you like the porcelain doll that was your heart.

“we need to end things,” he simply said.

the dvd in your hands clattered to the floor and duke ran over and started sniffing to inspect it; this was your first time seeing duke all day despite your heart shattering you would’ve scooped him up and rubbed his ears like he loves. your eyes never left calum’s and vice versa. he could see your heart shattering and his was cracking straight down the middle, he never thought that this day would come but he finally found a girl that he thinks could be the one he could finally settle down with and open his heart to, that girl wasn’t you though, so he had to take the first step into winning this woman over.

“it’s her isn’t it? the bird that you had over here today?” she says, tears threatening to fall but staying at bay until calum’s nod confirms her heartbreak, the tears fall just as the pieces of her heart fail to stay together.

“can she fuck you better than i can?” y/n says confidently, despite the tears making paths along her cheeks. calum was stunned, he’d never heard such words come from y/n, even in the hottest moments of passion. she kept her eyes on his as she slowly climbed up into his lap and sat upon his thighs, caging him into his seat. “come on cal, tell me, i’m the only one who can get you this hard, i know how to make you feel good. come on baby, tell me and i’ll give you what you want, i’ll make you feel so fucking good.” he had to avoid her eyes otherwise he’d give in, those were his weakness, the eyes were the windows to the soul and y/n’s was bared to him, he was totally under her spell as he felt his hands going up her waist, meaning to push her off but only brought her lips to his. the day’s activities truly only made him want her more, he’d never wanted to hurt y/n by giving her the silent treatment but he had no idea how to bring up the fact that he wanted to start dating someone, for real. having fucked mariah only made him want y/n more and her words, those damn naughty words only made him realize just how much this situation meant to him, sure he wasn’t in love with y/n, no but she meant so much to him that he couldn’t even remember the other woman’s name with y/n on top of him. y/n made him weak and she knew it.

“p-please,” he whimpered which made y/n smirk, he hated that she had so much power over him. she on the other hand was loving the fact that she was the alpha right now.

“please what? baby, i need to hear your words, what to you want?” y/n knew exactly what she was doing, calum had done this same taunting to her many times. she wasn’t going to let calum get away this easily, this entire relationship was built on sex and this was the way she was going to win him back.

“w-want your mouth, your pussy, your hand, a-anything, please, love.” calum’s brain was swimming, he didn’t even know the words that were coming out of his mouth, his mind was in overdrive and she was driving him even further up the wall.

“should i give you what you want? i think you’ve been quite naughty, think you can get rid of me that easily? you’d be mistaken,” y/n continues, grinding herself down on cal’s cock, keeping a steady rhythm. she was not going to let her emotions and need get to her this time, she was in control for once and she wanted to revel in it.

once feeling y/n grinding down on him, he laid his head in the crook of her neck, whimpering as the uncomfortable hardening in his pants. his hands were attached to her hips like glue, trying to get her to move faster against him, anything to cause friction, y/n took the opportunity while he was distracted to take her long shirt off and show him her set. y/n’s breasts were perfectly hung in the push up bra, her tits almost spilling out, causing calum to stare at them as they bounced with her movements. he set his hands lower to grab onto her lace-clad ass and grip it tightly before laying a quick spank to it before he massaged his hands over both cheeks again to soothe the sting. her whimper was heard through the apartment just louder than the tv was playing, sending a rush of blood to calum’s cock and wetness to pool in her panties.

much to calum’s demise she climbed off of calum, her tits directly in his face and he sent his tongue out to get any bit of skin he could reach. she grabbed a throw pillow off the couch and sat on her knees in front of calum, her mouth watering at the sight of him hardening by the second, who knew calum was such a sub.

y/n gently tugged on calum’s shirt and he quickly pulled it off before she leaned up and kissed his chest gently, running her bottom lip all the way up. he tilts his head back as she uses her tongue to lead her mouth to his then leaned up and pecked his lips all so gently. if he was going to end this, she wanted to make the most of it. he of course kissed her back, grabbing the sides of her neck gently to keep her still for him, savoring the taste of her lips. they pulled away at the same time, breathless, and y/n went to work, she grabbed onto the waistband of his boxers, careful not to pinch his skin and gently peeled the boxers down to reveal him. she kissed his tip then bit her lips, licking the bit of precum off her mouth before her throat worked and spit into her hand, bringing it up to him and pumped the bit of his shaft closest to his balls before she took the head in her mouth and sucked and licked the tip, making sure he was lubricated. his head was spinning at the feeling of her mouth on him, she was an expert on calum’s body and they both knew it. she pulled off a bit before looking up at him,

“if you try to fuck my face, i wont let you cum at all tonight,” her eyes teary but dark and full of dominancy—he’d never seen this side of y/n before—he nodded and looked at her like a little kid, agreeing to anything if she’d keep going. she then bottomed him out, both of her hands on either of his thighs, taking him all the way in her mouth and sitting there for a second before coming back up for air, then doing the same, her nose touching his pelvis, breathing in and then out before pulling off of him, a trail of spit connecting her mouth to his cock. The gags and deep breaths coming for y/n make calum come back to reality, her head bobbing at almost a professional pace, he grabbed onto her hand and tugged on it, she shook her head as if to say that she wasn’t done, he tugged on her once more before she pulled off of him and swallowed the mix of precum and spit on her tongue.

“what?” she breathed and before she could say anything else, he motioned for her to come to him, his mouth attaching to hers, this kiss was something neither of them had experienced with each other before, both of them feeling more than just the heat of the moment passion, this kiss was a knee weakening, heart stopping, head spinning passion that they’d never shared before. y/n grabbed onto his face and they slowly stood up with each other, calum wrapping his arms around her thighs and she jumped up onto his torso, their clammy skin acting as glue to hold them together. calum carried her all the way up the stairs, practically kicking y/n’s door in and then shut it by pressing her against it. the kiss was never broken, neither of them wanted to ruin this moment, y/n’s dominant nature, calum’s conflicted mindset and both of their needs to please each other. he peeled her from the coolness of the door and her back was met with the soft fabric of the quilt on top of her bed. her hips were reaching to meet his, and he had to break the kiss, her back was caving a little so they could meet their foreheads,

“i’m never leaving you,” calum whispered as he looked deep into her irises, something only calum did when he was serious, her heart was slowly piecing back together. something told her that he meant more than he was saying but now was not the time. she gently pushed him up and laid him down against her quilt, climbing on top of him and his hands found their favorite place between her hips and her ribs, “please ride my face baby, i need to taste you.” calum whimpered at her and look up at her with almost child-like puppy dog eyes.

“how could i say no,” she whispered and stood up on her bed, looking down at him before sliding her blue laced panties down her legs and threw them across the room, moving up the bed and finding herself sitting right above his mouth and as soon as she was within reach, he was aiming her hole right above his mouth, his breath fanned over her wetness, cooling her heat off as he did and his tongue shot up stiff and flat as he licked a strip up her slit. he slid his hands up from her thighs, grazing her ass before holding onto her lower back holding onto her tightly as if she’d float away. she ground her hips against his mouth, eliciting little whimpers from her mouth, her left hand finding his short hair and her right flew to the headboard, knuckles turning white as her vision went black, her head flew up to face the ceiling, using the headboard to keep her grounded as he sucked on her clit, nipping at it a bit which made her let out a loud squeal of his name and a string of curses. calum seeing and hearing that made him never want it to stop, he made sure to nibble her clit once more. y/n had to do something, she wasn’t on earth, she was on cloud fucking nine and she had to ground herself, she reached behind her and grabbed onto his cock, pumping her fist rapidly before she struck an idea.

“cal, cal ssss-stop,” she hissed and he immediately thought something was wrong, he looked up at her with glossy eyes.

“are you okay, what did i do?” he whispered and gently pushed her up to look at her, this was the same way he’d always done it and he was scared that he’d hurt her.

“nothing, you did absolutely nothing wrong, that was… perfect. i want to try something, if you’re down.” she said and slowly moved down from near his mouth. he looked at her wearily and nodded.

“will it hurt?” he whispered, holy shit he was so fucking cute right now. looking like a little puppy that lost his way home.

“no baby, i want to try a sixty-nine, we’ve never done it before and i want to make you feel good, while you’re making me feel good,” she says and turns around in the reverse cowgirl position but over his mouth, she looks down at him through her legs and he nods for her to sit down. she slowly sits on his mouth and he immediately starts licking and sucking at her hole and her clit simultaneously which sent her almost flying as she bucked her back involuntarily. she leaned down and kissed his tip once again, sending a wave through him which only got better as she sunk down on him, her chin grazing his lower abdomen. she let out a gag noise and gargled in her throat to keep her esophagus calm, calum practically came just from the friction and the noises she was making also from her own pleasure. she sat up pulled herself off of his tongue and turned around, “such a pretty boy,” she whispers and runs her finger down his cheek gently, “put your arms up here,” y/n says a little louder. she sits upon his sternum, taking his hands in hers and laid small pecks on his knuckles before she raised them above his head, laying them on the posts of her headboard, “keep your hands here,” she whispers. calum nods and follows her orders. his grip tightens when she runs her fingernail gently up his sensitive shaft, he gasps and bites his lip.

“please baby, i need it,” calum whimpers and looks down at her. the smirk on her face makes calum almost angry, they both know that he’s putty and she’s drinking it up shamelessly.

“are you my little slut? thinking that you can fuck another girl in our house while i’m just down the hall?” she whispers through her teeth, anger just at her surface. “do you think you should be punished for being a little slut?” y/n says, her fingernail still grazing his swollen cock. calum’s brain quite literally cant form a full sentence, y/n’s words, her touch, his guilt, his brain is swimming in mush.

“please mama, punish me,” he whimpers “i’ve been so fucking bad,” he grips the posts tight, his knuckles turning white.

“roll over and lay on your stomach, hands go back just as they were,” she commands and sits up to let him roll over, even though she’s showing dominance she’s still trying to be gentle, calum thought. he feels a sting on his bare ass along with a loud smack. he grips the posts in his hands and bites his lip, his gasp is the only thing that is heard in the silence of the room. y/n gains a little confidence and slaps his ass again, biting her lip as she watches it bounce against the friction of her hand.

“such a bad boy,” she whispers into his ear. she’s leaning beside his head, looking him directly in the eyes. cal’s face flushes and she leans down to kiss his cheek, “if any of this is overwhelming in anyway, please tell me to stop,” she says, totally serious and runs her hand through his hair gently. he nods and she leans down to peck his lips softly.

“please keep going,” he whimpers against her mouth, “been so bad i need to be reprimanded,” he says, shooting her a smirk.

y/n goes back between his legs, toying with his balls, laying another smack on his ass, making his body jolt up. she sits up, spreading his ass cheeks and spits a wealthy amount onto his puckered hole, he lets out a high pitched whimper while he anticipates her next move. looking up at him as she uses her hand that is free from his sack and uses her thumb to spread her saliva around, lubing him up nicely. she looks up at him for approval to keep going which he grants quickly. her thumb dips into his tight asshole, he lays his head into her pillows, tightening his grip on her bed posts and shuts his eyes as she stretches him out.

“holy shiiiiiit,” he whimpers after he turns his head back to try to get a glance at her. she slides her thumb out making calum whimper at the loss but is quickly reassured as she slides her pointer finger in, sucking his balls into her mouth, his brain is overwhelmed with pleasure and all his body can do is spasm at her touch. his orgasm just around the corner. y/n knows his body language too well and can tell that he’s so close. she doesn’t want him to release just yet.

“so needy,” y/n says and bites onto his ass cheek. “think you’ve been punished enough?” she asks leaving one last smack on his ass before she nudges his hip for him to roll over.

he immediately rolls onto his back and tries to grip her hair, wanting some type of control which she slaps his hand. hard. “hands back up…” she says taking his wrists and leans him up back to the posts “...and lean up against the headboard,” she adds and helps him sit up, “I’m gonna ride you, keep your hands on the posts.” he nods, his ability to conversate has gone out the window along with his sobriety. y/n is his drug and he’s an addict.

she reaches up onto her headboard to use as leverage before she turns around, getting in the reverse cowgirl position then she aligns herself and slides down on his cock, sighing at how he fills her up perfectly.

calum can’t stop staring at her ass bouncing deliciously on his cock, the way she wraps around him so tightly. her movements start to speed up as his cock is hitting her spongy button, her body writhing above his. she’s using her hands to keep her leverage which gives calum the best angle, his moans mixing with hers.

“fuck, your pussy swallows my cock so good, always,” he whimpers which brings y/n so close to her edge.

“oh my god i’m so close, fuck,” she moans out, he takes her vulnerability as a chance as he takes his hands off of the posts, lifting her ass up and starts fucking up into her, her screams start flowing out like water. he pulls her back against his front, bringing his hand up to her throat squeezing just enough to make her breathing labor.

she starts grinding down on him, pushing his cock into her g-spot and she’s done for, her orgasm takes her over as she gasps. his hand moves from her throat to her breasts, swallowing them with his hands and before he can comprehend the squeezing and clenching of her pussy, he’s releasing inside of her, both of them trembling as she leans back against him and he leans against the headboard, both catching their breaths.

“you think you can just leave me for somebody else? we both know damn well that nobody else can fuck you like that,” she whispers, her head leaning against his shoulder. he shakes his head with a breathless chuckle, his mind still in subspace.

“god i love you,” he whispers, biting his lip.

“calum-“ you start to which he interrupts.

“no, y/n nobody cares like you, nobody loves like you, nobody feels like you. you are the most unique person i’ve ever met; I don’t want anybody else to have you and I don’t want to have anybody else.” he says and runs his hand up your leg and intertwines your fingers.

“are you just saying this stuff because you’re still in subspace?” you whisper, giggling a little making you clench around him which makes both of you let out a little moan at the realization that he’s still inside of you.

“no, i’ve been thinking about this for a while, i tried to distract myself with other girls but i physically cant fathom not having you in my life,” he says. your heart stops and you look back at him, biting your lip, your mouth not being able to move.

calum, Calum, calum, Calum Hood, the man that you had moved in with when you moved to los angeles, the man who so graciously took you out your first night and there you met jason. you’d drunkenly stumbled into him and made a complete fool out of yourself, he thought you were charismatic and gorgeous so after sharing a drink or two, you exchanged numbers and the rest was history. if it weren’t for calum, you wouldn’t have met him. if you didn’t have that same night, all those drinks with jason, you and calum wouldn’t have started this whole situation together, you two wouldn’t be here. right now. together. his cock still inside you, warming and filling you up. that first time that you two shared wasn’t only the first for you two, it was the first time for you in general. he was your first and your last (a couple in between but we won’t ruin the moment). he was your first passionate kiss as well, even though you shared it just an hour ago. now you can see, he’s the only man you could ever see or think about. in a crowded club, on stage, in your house, in your bed, he consumed you.

“y/n please say something,” he says his voice low, nervous, he brings you out of your thoughts. you literally couldn’t say anything so you did the next best thing, you reach around yourself and cup the side of his face, looking into his eyes—your favorite color—then kiss him, the most magical, sparkle between the two of you had lit. You lift yourself off of him, causing yourself to whimper into his mouth at the emptiness in your abdomen before you turn fully around climbing onto your knees, feeling a subtle drip between your legs. he wraps his arms around your waist and he sits up with you, reciprocating the kiss as well not daring to break it. he runs his hand up your clammy back and gently lays you back into the bed, your hands burying themselves into his hair out of muscle memory.

cal runs his hands down your front, gently taking your breasts into his hands then runs his mouth down to your neck, leaving love marks into your tender skin. your eyes roll to look at the ceiling, calum’s touch so gentle like he’s afraid he’d break you. you both were so fragile, so vulnerable. his mouth taunts at your right nipple, his hips grinding down into your core. the heat rising in your stomach, you whimper into the quiet air.

“calum, come here,” you whisper, your hand tugging on his hair and he lifts himself up, his mouth hovering over yours.

“yes?” he whispers, his lips grazing over yours and his breath fans over your lips and chin.

“i love you,” you whisper. he chuckles, his smile bright and his eyes squint. you meet him in the middle as he kisses your lips, both of your tongues dancing together.

he pulls away just for a second to look into your bright eyes—full of love and lust— for your consent. with a gentle nod he slides himself in once more, filling you up even more than before the extra full feeling being your newfound love.

you suddenly feel just how sensitive you were which causes a whimper to escape your mouth and your pussy to clench around him. he groans in your ear at the friction and he bites onto your earlobe.

his hips start thrusting at a faster pace, knowing neither of you were going to last much longer due to the sensitivity you both were sharing. he swivels his hips just at the right angle causing him to hit your g-spot and you let out a yelp.

“oh god yes, please cal, fuck me,” you whimper, he obliges. his hips going on the same route to meet your g-spot with his tip repeatedly, each time you clench around him. he goes even harder and faster until he has you seeing stars, your eyes meeting as you feel a snap in your abdomen, your body convulsing under him at the same time he snaps as well climaxing inside of you, his hand coming up to meet yours beside your head, intertwining your fingers and squeezing.

as he pulls out you both wince and he lays down next to you. he pulls you into his side and lays a kiss where your shoulder and neck meet. you smile dazed and hum intertwining your fingers with the hand that’s wrapped around your waist. he outstretches your hands and plays with your fingertips, making you giggle.

“i love you,” you whisper.

calum hums, “say it again,” he whispers.

“i love you… i love you, i love you, i love you,” you whisper right back and he smiles against your shoulder, looking at your hands as he still plays with your fingers.

“i love you, too,” he whispers and lays another kiss against your neck.

he was also your first love...

#calum hood fluff #calum hood #5sos fluff #5sos smut #calum hood smut #calum hood blurb #calum hood imagine #calum hood 5sos #the ending #kinda sucks but i didnt know how to end it :/

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kelieah · 4 years

Text

my neighborhood (peter parker x vigilante!reader) [1]

request: @annamckayla : HELLO! Omg i love ur writing so much ahhhh! I was hoping I could request for a peter x reader, where they are both heroes (or reader is bad idm up to you) and they are fighting ppl / each other but they are super flirty! AHH OK ILY BYEEE ;)))))))))

warnings: sarcasm, insulting, flirting, fighting. reader is a vigilante, goes to midtown high and is semi close friends with peter. kinda like a hate love relationship. alsooo reader’s powers is speed and eletricity so basically the flash idkdkdk sorry

edited: i’m working on a new series based off of this request! masterlist for it is here

a/n: my first request! so happy hehe ilyt!! also im so sorry if this doesnt make sense, im not great with super powers lol

pov: first, y/n

masterlist

I have to admit. He’s cute, but he’s so irritating. Is it the fact that he’s so undeniably cute? Yes. No, yes but Peter is such a know it all, or at least I think so.

For some reason, it didn’t stop me from hanging out with him and his friends for the past couple of months. After picking up some school lunch, I grab a seat in front of Peter and Ned.

“Hey Y/n,” Ned smiles. “Hi Ned! Hi Peter,” I greet back, looking over at Peter. He didn’t seem to notice, his eyes too focused on Liz.

“Why do you even hang out with them Y/n, they’re losers,” I hear MJ pipe up. Ned, Peter and I all turn our heads to her.

“True-” I stifle a laugh.

“Then why are you sitting here with us?” Peter retorts.

“Because she’s cool, and doesn’t drool over seniors like, someone,” I cough, smirking at him. He rolls his eyes and glares at me.

“She’s not wrong,” Ned murmurs.

“Dude!” Peter huffs, making me giggle. He smiles slightly and slumps on the palm of his hand, looking away.

“Pete, could you come over after school? I need help with chem, and I know you need help with English,” I poke him with a fork causing him to swat me away.

“Yeah whatever, I think that’s just an excuse to get me to come over,” he teases.

“Shut up!” I groan. Ned and MJ share a suspicious glance. “What?” I ask cluelessly.

“Nothing,” they both say quietly.

After a long dreadful day of school, Peter and I met up at the front of the school, by the gates.

“Hey Penis Parker,” I smirk, holding onto my backpack straps.

He lets out a long sigh, “Not you too, Y/n. C’mon,” he huffs.

“I’m just messing with you Pete,” I bump into him, beginning to walk ahead.

He follows, catching up easily, “Right. Anyways, have you heard about the new vigilante in town?”

I tense at the subject, “Uhm yeah, that speedy girl?”

“Yup. What do you think about her?”

“Uh, I don’t know. All I know is that she’s probably better than Spider-Man.”

He looks at me offended, “Who’s to say? Spider-Man is like, super-human, he has a bunch of powers-”

“Don’t get your panties all in a twist, I’m just saying,” I laugh, “Sheesh didn’t think you were such a big fan of Spider-Man.”

“U-uh why wouldn’t I be, he’s s-super cool.” “Said every teenager ever, I like this new girl. She’s kind of refreshing y’know?”

“Meh,” Peter shrugs, and I scoff shoving him aside.

We eventually head to my apartment and study together. I messed around while Peter tried to help me with homework, but he ended up getting distracted anyways.

I let out a long groan, “Shut up! You’ve been talking about chemistry for the past 30 minutes and I didn’t understand one thing that came out of your mouth.”

Peter’s mouth drops. He throws one of my pillows at me, “You asked me to come over!”

“I know, because I’m lonely.”

“Sure.”

“You’re right, I just needed you to do my homework.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too,” I flash him a cheeky smile, causing him to roll his eyes. I glance over at the clock, “Hey uh, I think you should head out soon. My dad’s coming back from work soon and you know how he is with boys.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t miss me too much,” he gets up, gathering his things.

“Reverse card!” “See you,” he chuckles and walks off.

“Bye Penis Parker!” I yell, making sure he left. As soon as he closed the front door, I rush into my closet to get out my suit.

After putting it on and tidying up room, I head out my window and jump out to the fire escape.

I decide to scan the city, running and jumping from building to building. It seemed quiet so I sat down on the ledge of some random building.

I hear a quiet thud next to me. I glance over at the figure, who I made out to be Spider-Man. “Ah, well if it isn’t the infamous Spider-Man.”

“Thought I’d check out who the new girl in town is,” he chuckles. His voice seemed higher than I expected it to be, it almost sounds familiar. Weird. Could it be? No way, that’s impossible.

“You care about me? I’m touched,” I place a hand on my heart. I hear him stifle a laugh and shake his head.

He went quiet for a second and stood up from his crouching position, “There’s something going on by 5th street in some warehouse,” he says.

“Guess we should head over-”

“We? I don’t know about that new girl, this is my neighborhood,” he jumps off the ledge, swinging from building to building.

The fuck, who does this guy think he is!?

I rush downstairs and speed off to 5th street, managing to get there before he did. “Yes, we,” I cross my arms looking up at Spider-Man who arrived shortly after me.

He scoffs, “So you’re fast. Hopefully you can catch up, sweetheart,” he swings up to the roof of a warehouse.

I quickly follow, managing to find a way inside and on to the rooftop. I run over to where Spider-Man is crouched down behind a large air vent. I poke my head out to see a poor lady tied to a chair, with a bunch of men surronding her.

“Some kind of intense hostage situation,” he whispers.

“You’re an intense hostage situation,” I murmur.

“What? Shut up!” he whispers. “Oh my god, I think that’s the mayor.”

He jumps up from the vent, placing his hands on his hips. “Hey uh, guys I don’t think you should be treating a lady- especially our mayor like that,” he says, changing the pitch of his voice. I scrunch up my nose at his awkwardness.

“What the fuck, who called him-!” I hear a rough voice yell out, followed by a series of gunshots and screaming.

Spider-Man yelps and manages to fling some guns aside, causing two men to gang up on him, “Hey, new girl a little help!” he yells out. There another two men next to the mayor, with large guns in their hands.

“On it!” I call back, rushing over to the two men circling them. “Hi there,” I grin, place my hands on their guns surging a large amount of eletricity to them, knocking them out.

I help the mayor out, making sure she wasn’t injured or anything. “Karen, call the police and give them our location,” I hear Spider-Man mumble quickly, grunting as he knocks out the two men he was dealing with.

The mayor who was still in complete shock began to ramble, “T-thank you Spider-Man. T-thank you?” she looks over at me.

“Uhm, Velocity?” I rub my arm as Spider-Man watches in amusement.

“Thank you both really-” she sniffs. Suddenly, the roof top door slams open and a bunch of big bulky men come out with these weird looking weapons.

“Heads up, Spidey!” I yell, as one of the men shoot their weird looking gun that emitted some type of green energy.

I grab the Mayor and speed down to the front of the building, where a bunch of police cars pulled up.

Shocked from the momentum, she falls to her knees. “I’m so sorry, but I had to get you out of there. Stay safe!” I rush back to the rooftop.

I notice Spider-Man struggling to get this one guy off of him, “Pretty boy, to your right!” I yell. I run over to one of the weapons and toss it to him.

He quickly webs it and slings it against the guy, knocking him out, “Pretty boy?” he scoffs.

“Yeah, that’s what you sound like!” I grunt, punching a guy who was coming to my left with a surge of electricity.

“So you’d be an annoying girl?” he smirks, also fighting off someone who rushed towards him.

“I’d be honored,” I scoff. “Holy shit!” I let out a yelp as I felt myself being lifted in the air by one of the weapons.

I hear a quick thwip and suddenly I was back on my feet, with Spider-Man’s arm around my waist, “My hero-” I gasp dramatically.

“Cute,” he rolls his eyes. He pushes me towards another guy who was trying to get their weird gun to work.

I frown instantly, and circle around him grabbing the gun before he could do anything. I fling it against him, and press my hand harshly on the gun, causing eletricity to rush all over him.

He knocks out, and I turn around, seeing Spider-Man fling against the air vent. I inhale sharply and rush towards the guy, knocking him off his feet causing him to let go of the weapon.

I kick it away, the guy gets back up and attempts to punch at me. I easily dodge his attacks and punch him with eletricity.

“Oh my god, I did it- I mean we did it! We-” I look over at Spidey who was slump on the ground. “Shit,” I speed over to his side, propping his head up onto my lap. “Pretty boy, you still there?”

I notice his mask was slightly cut open, blood seeping out from the side of his head. I knew that he had the mask on for a reason, but he could be dying. It’s not like I would out him to anyone. I understand why he would keep his identity a secret, it’s what I do as well.

I inhale deeply, pulling off his mask. I let out a gasp, “Peter!?”

part two

taglist

@rcmxnoff @annamckayla @elsie512 @bubblesbts

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5sos-seavey · 4 years

Note

“PHASES” INSPIRED JJ FIC

it’s finally here after so long !! really hope you like it girl

Phases - JJ Maybank

Warning(s): some swearing

Word Count: 2416 (without the lyrics)

Tags: @snarkystarkey, @maybe-maybanks, @baby-bearie, @mayibeyoursbanks, @katie-avery, @kaceyjost

A/N: I decided to not switch through points of view but just kept writing while the povs kinda sorta change, hopefully it makes sense as you read but it might be more of JJ’s pov since the song is from the guy’s pov ALSO if you’ve seen the music video for phases I guess it’s kinda gonna be like that lol

I know you’re tryna do you, but I heard you fell off.

After a couple bad nights, and 20 cold hearts.

Tryna find a new you, but I heard you got lost.

Tryna figure your worth.

What the hell does that cost?

You and JJ had been together for a little over a year when you told him that you thought you needed some space and wanted to figure out who you were and what you wanted. At first JJ was confused, he thought you loved each other and wanted each other. “Please don’t be upset with me,” you had said to him. “Y/N I just want you to explain it to me.” “JJ, we’re so young, and I’m not saying I don’t love you, because I do, I love you so much, but I have no idea who I am. I don’t want it to be 3 years down the road and we decide that we don’t want to be together. I know that we’re young, but I honestly think that we’re it for each other. I just don’t want us to end up as that, right person, wrong time, couple.” JJ was nodding along as you had spoke, “okay. I get that. Just, please don’t like, I don’t know, forget me, I guess? Because I love you and I want to be with you.”

When I’m kissing ya, grippin’ ya thigh.

I realized you were destined and meant to be mine.

But who am I to conflict with ya livin’ your life?

Just know when you call, I’m at the end of the line.

JJ knew you were the one. He just wanted to be with you. But he didn’t want to get in the way of you finding yourself, because he didn’t want you to be the, right person, wrong time. He thought of you as the, right person all the time, no matter what. He also would never want you to feel pressure to stay with him because he wanted you to. He also didn’t know what kind of space you wanted so he would sometimes text you, reply to your story, whatever. It broke you, but sometimes you just didn’t answer him. You knew this was hard for him, but it was hard for you too.

JJ: just checking in, how are ya?

y/n: im good jj, thanks.

y/n: i know it’s been a couple weeks and we’re both kinda struggling with this but idk if we should be texting and shit while we’re figuring how exactly to navigate this. and it also won’t help in any kind of growth. im sorry jj

JJ was beside himself. He wanted to be there for you, but this was the one time you didn’t want that. He still thought it was important for you to know that he’s here for you.

JJ: i get that. don’t be a total stranger tho. if you ever need me or anything, i’ll be here

JJ never got a response to that message. But he knew, or at least hoped, you’d come to him if you ever needed.

I’ll practice my patience, while you’re getting wasted.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases.

You’ll shuffle through faces, like songs in your playlist.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

It had been about two months since you asked for space and JJ was doing as well as he could be. He spent a lot of time at John B.’s to try and distract himself with John B., Ki and Pope. Even Sarah came sometimes. Sarah was surprisingly helpful actually, while his other three friends tried to steer clear of anything to do with you, Sarah wasn’t worried about bringing you up, “well she did say that she wanted to be with you right? Don’t look at it as a breakup because it’s not. And even if it does become one, which I highly doubt, it isn’t one yet.” JJ was shaking his head, “she’s seeing other people, she doesn’t ever talk to me and I know that I don’t talk to her either, but she asked for that. I don’t know Sarah, it’s hard not to treat it like a breakup.”

Ki started to agree with Sarah, “but JJ, she said she loves you; she just needs to know who she is. You don’t want her to resent you down the road.” JJ looked at Ki in shock, she never wants to talk about Y/N, she was always worried about upsetting JJ. He couldn’t argue with them, what they said made sense, and plus, you had been talking to those two more than you had been talking to him. And that was saying a lot because you only talked to the girls maybe once or twice a week, and you always tried to avoid talk of JJ because you didn’t want to be worried about how he may be feeling; he had said that he supported you in wanting to do this, so you were just going to stick to that.

It definitely did not help JJ’s worrying knowing that you’d go out and you’d be seeing other people, going on dates, doing whatever else you were going to do while you two weren’t together. He’d just have to wait on you, he wanted you to be as sure as he was.

Hittin’ all the right cues and you’re leaving your mark.

But I know that ain’t you, you’re just playing your part.

Tryna fit in them shoes, but you take it too far.

It doesn’t matter where it takes you, I’ll go wherever you are.

It had been four months now. You can’t lie, you missed JJ, but you can’t find yourself in four months just to go right back where you were before. Obviously not saying that going back to JJ would be bad, but it still seemed to early to go back to him now.

You’ve gone a quite a bit of dates, in the beginning, they were all one offs though. Two months ago you had met someone, things were going pretty well actually. You had gone on a few dates together, but you personally thought things had been moving too fast. When you brought it up though, it did not go well. You were told that you were “self sabotaging because you don’t want to be happy.” It goes without saying that you two were no longer see each other. Maybe you were self sabotaging, you definitely weren’t doing it on purpose though. You just always had a lot on your mind.

Since then, you’ve been going out a lot again, and surprisingly Sarah was joining you quite a bit lately. You had felt bad almost completely cutting off your friends just because they were also JJ’s friends. You just didn’t want it to seem like you wanted them to pick sides because ultimately, there were no sides. Right now Sarah was over at your place and you were waiting on the food the two of you had ordered before going out for the night, “so what’s the plan, Y/N?” “Guess we’ll just go to one of the bars or clubs downtown. Can you wing-woman me,” you asked her, lightly laughing. Sarah started slightly laughing along with you, “sure. But uh, and don’t take this the wrong way but, what if we just went out to have a good time tonight? If you meet someone, you meet someone. Don’t try to force finding someone.” You looked at Sarah thoughtfully, maybe she was right. The last few times you’d gone out, and with Sarah, she helped you find someone, and you’d gone on a few dates. Maybe tonight could just be more of a chill night out, “you know what, yeah, you’re right. Do you wanna call Kiara and see if she wants to join too?” Sarah was silent for a second while she stared blankly, “um, I actually don’t know if she’s free. I think she had plans tonight, uh, with the boys.” “Oh okay that’s fine, just me and you then,” you smiled at her. Sure you hadn’t seen Kiara in a while, maybe it was mostly on you, but sometimes it sucked, guess that’s what happens when you want a break from one of your friend’s best friend.

When I’m kissing ya, grippin’ ya thigh.

I realized you were destined and meant to be mine.

But who am I to conflict with ya livin’ your life?

Just know when you call, I’m at the end of the line.

I’ll practice my patience, while you’re getting wasted.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases.

You’ll shuffle through faces, like songs in your playlist.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

For you, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases.

JJ could admit that these past few months had been hard, but what he hated to admit even more was that it was also getting easier. You never texted him and even Sarah wouldn’t talk as much about you to JJ either. She felt bad because she had started hanging out with you more and more and she didn’t really want it to seem like she was rubbing it in JJ’s face in any way. JJ did appreciate that Sarah was doing that for him, and he also appreciated that you had Sarah, he figured it must’ve been hard for you not being able to talk to any of your friends, but it is what you decided.

JJ didn’t really go out much, he didn’t enjoy it as much as he used to when he would go with you. John B. did make him go out a couple times, especially recently since Sarah was going out with you. Nothing ever happened when he went out, he mostly would just sit at their table and had a couple drinks. JJ was waiting on you.

I’m really tired of being soft spoken.

You got me broke, writing songs about you daily and it’s messing with my focus.

You fuck with him, but we both realized that he was bogus.

I’m the one for you, so why do I feel like I go unnoticed.

I’m talking more than clothes hittin’ floors.

I’m falling off track, but not the rack, like a chore.

Oh, look, another butterfly, I feel it in my core.

Even though you ain’t mine, it’s the fact that I’m yours.

It’s the fact that my life ain’t complete without yours.

It’s the fact that at night I be tryna ignore.

Catching overseas flights just to knock on your door, cause you put my planet in orbit.

Stargirl, your body’s so solar.

Promise you, baby, I’m sober.

Just wait till you give in and finally come over.

I can’t wait to tell you, “I told ya, I told ya, I told ya.”

It’s been about half a year without any contact from you, and JJ is going crazy. Not only that, but now he’s more stressed and worried than he was in the first two months. He didn’t think it’d be like this for this long. He thought maybe you could’ve even been friendly with each other but if you weren’t going to message him, he didn’t want to feel like he was overstepping and intruding on your space.

JJ was also frustrated though because he really, really, really thought you’d at least even tell him that you didn’t want to be together by now. But maybe if you hadn’t it was a good sign, right? He needed to know something though, even if it wasn’t him directly that was finding out.

JJ: Sarah, can I ask you for a favour?

Sarah: shoot

JJ: could you see where Y/N’s head is at rn? I’m kinda freaking out

Sarah: actually I can do you one better

JJ: ??

Sarah: she’s still figuring things out BUT she’s not confused about things as much and she thinks she knows what she wants

Sarah: before you ask tho, she didn’t tell me where she stands or what she’s doing. she probably figured you’d ask or I’d tell you, which I wish I could do

Sarah: I know you’re stressing, but hopefully it won’t be for much longer bc she’ll tell you something soon one way or another

Sarah: but I hope it’s in the way that you’re both happy and together :)

JJ: thanks Sarah, I really appreciate it

JJ: keep me updated if she tells you anything or you hear anything

Sarah: of course, same goes for you

Wow, at the beginning of all this, JJ definitely did not think Sarah would be like his saving grace through it all. She’s honestly been the most helpful and straightforward, making sure JJ was feeling all his feelings and not hiding from any of his friends. She wanted him to know that she was there for him, and so were the boys and Kiara.

I’ll practice my patience, while you’re getting wasted.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases.

You’ll shuffle through faces, like songs in your playlist.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

For you, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases.

So much time has passed, and you knew now for sure, that you were ready to be with JJ. But since so much time had passed, with no contact at all, you weren’t sure how he still felt. What you did know was that you had to tell him everything you felt before because even though you knew you wanted to be with him, he needed to know that he wanted to be with you. There was not one bone in JJ’s body that didn’t want to be with you, but you didn’t know that.

Y/N: Sarah, do you know where JJ is?

Y/N: PLEASE DON’T TELL HIM IM LOOKING FOR HIM!!!!

Sarah: I won’t dw

Sarah: and he’s at John B.’s, we all are

Y/N: okay please all stay there

You were on your way to John B.’s and to say you were nervous was an understatement. You hadn’t seen any of them, other than Sarah, for half of a year. You just hope none of them changed their opinion of you and hated you now.

Y/N: I’m here, do you think you could try to get JJ to come out without telling him it’s me

You waited a minute until Sarah responded.

Sarah: he’s coming!!!

You waited on John B.’s front lawn and then JJ opened the door. You didn’t know what Sarah said to him to get him to come out, but he started looking around until he saw you, which caused him to do a double take. “Y/N? Wha-what are you doing here?” JJ started to come over to where you were standing. “I uh, I uh, wanted to see you. I-is that okay,” you were a lot more nervous than you thought you were going to be. “Yeah of course. Is um, something wrong?” “I guess that depends.” “Depends on what? You’re kinda worrying me.” “I have something to say to you. And I need to say it all before uh, any kind of decision is made.” “Oh um okay. Go ahead.” You took a deep breath and started.

“When I told you that I wanted to just take a break for a while, I said it was for me and to figure out who I was, which is partly true. I ended up realizing though, that wasn’t the only reason,” JJ tilted his head in confusion at you while you continued, “I realized that it was for you too. And yes, I know that it wasn’t your idea and you still supported me and the decision, but it was for you. It was for you through me. I wanted to make sure you were happy, I didn’t want you to regret being with me,” JJ opened his mouth to say something, but you stopped him, “I just wanna finish,” which he nodded at. “I didn’t want to end up being a burden on you and then have you resenting me in the future for who I was. And I know it sounds ridiculous, these scenarios that haven’t happened about problems you’ve never even voiced. But I guess I not only wanted to grow for me, but I wanted to grow for you, because I love you. I love you so much JJ Maybank.”

JJ had the biggest smile on his face as he pulled you into hug and then put his hands on either side of your face softly and kissed you. You swear you’d never been happier. JJ pulled away, both of you with the same goofy smiles. “I love you Y/N, so much. I’m just glad that we’re together again.” “Me too.” Then before JJ could kiss you again, you heard banging on the windows and when you and JJ looked, John B., Pope, Kiara and Sarah had all been watching through the window the whole time. You and JJ laughed while the four of them just cheered. “Let’s give em a show then,” and JJ pulled you into another kiss.

#jj maybank imagine #outer banks imagine #obx imagine #jj maybank #outer banks #obx #sams work

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bedtimebrain · 3 years

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EXO KAI: Detective Gone Wrong P3

You can find the masterlist to the other parts on my bio/description!

Characters: JonginxYou

You came to know Jongin by accident, but have no clue he’s EXO’s Kai. And when you found out....

You walked away blankly, remaining in a daze until your phone started vibrating in your pocket.

It was your boss who called and anxiously asked if you could cover her shift from the afternoon as she forgot about her wedding anniversary dinner.

You gladly agreed, thinking it might be better to have something to occupy yourself with today. Otherwise you’re just going to be spending the day thinking about you and jongki.

Still sane enough to be in need for breakfast, you went by the convenience store to pick up a sandwich. Standing in front of the fridge, you paused to think

What does jongki want? Does he... like me ?

And he KISSED ME TOO?! That’s definitely something only couples do right?!

How did everything escalate so fast overnight ?!

‘Excuse me, are you getting anything? You’re standing in the way’

You must have stood there for quite a while, looking at the irritated face of the customer. Apologising, you just grabbed whatever sandwich there was on the shelf and left after paying.

Falling deep in thought and replaying what happened last night again, you opened your sandwich packaging and bit down on your sandwich

EW! Egg Mayo!

You sighed. Feeling a little more miserable with wrong sandwich choice, you continued feeding on your thoughts on the way home.

You dive straight into your bed and hugged your big Coney plush the first thing you got back. You screamed into Coney like a lunatic and kicked the air violently with your legs.

Stupid jongki, who does he think he is. Ah yes, I secretly gave you a kiss, so what. IT WAS JUST A FRIENDLY KISS CAUSE YOU WERE CUTE.

BUT WHATS WITH KISSING ME ON THE LIPS AND WAKING UP TOGETHER LIKE ITS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL

What a flirt!! See y/n you were right. Rich, handsome guys, tsk. Bound to be bad.

You threw coney to the side and your phone came crashing down with it from your side table.

Groaning, you bend over your bed to pick it up, only to see a message from the dear boy you wanted out of your mind right now.

J:I’m heading out for work soon~ have a good day today😙

Is that a kissy face?!

Oh goodness, you were so annoyed.

Kim Jongki, are you playing with me right now?? WE ARE NOT ATTACHED

.....

at least not yet (?)

Tossing the phone aside, you decided to take a shower. Afterall showers always work best for any occasion. You got up and spent a peaceful 20minutes running under hot water, clearing your thoughts.

Though still feeling bothered, you were definitely more refreshed. Time check , it was about time for you to get changed and pick up lunch on the way to the store.

Dusting on some light make up, bunning up your hair, you changed into your working clothes. In 30 minutes you were out of the house.

On the bus ride to your working area, you were so torn between checking your phone and not to. You wanted to know if jongki texted you again, but you didn’t really want to deal with this situation.

Fiddling with your phone, you almost dropped it when it beeped to announce a message had arrived.

That’s a sign, I should look at it! Since it rang when I’m thinking whether I should

Excitedly you unlocked your phone and checked your notification, only to find that it was just a reminder message from your landlord to pay your rent.

Your heart literally dropped because you actually really wanted to receive a message from him. Just then your phone beeped again and this time it was from jongki!

J: y/n ah what’s for lunch today? I’m having kimchi stew. Texting because I thought about you who might be board having an off day today :p

Sigh, you can’t deny that boy is so cute and lovable. But you still weren’t ready to reply him. You wanted things to be clearer between both of you. While uncertainty in relationships can be the most heart fluttering period, you didn’t like being in that phase.

It wasn’t long before you reached your stop to alight. Not feeling particularly hungry yet, you stopped by street stalls along the way instead.

You arrived at your shop, feeling satisfied with the pajeon you just had. You almost forgot how therapeutic the scent of flowers were until you stepped in. The mixed floral scent of dew and freshness instantly released you from the troubled thoughts bugging you at the back of your head.

‘Unnie! I’m here! How could you forget your wedding anniversary , hahah. Have you bought a gift or something yet?’

‘Ah, y/n ah! My life saviour. No I haven’t bought anything! There’s just too many activities and occasions this month that I forgot about my own. Gosh’ she face palmed herself making you laugh

‘Then you better leave soon to get your gift! I’m here already anyway! I’ll just continue wrapping this bouquet you’re currently working on’

‘I’ll buy u a meal another day, sorry for calling you back on your off day~ oh right I’ve a parcel coming later, just open and let me know what’s inside. I ordered so many I can’t even remember what’s coming anymore.’ Removing her apron, she rushed off after saying googbye.

Looking at the tasklist, it was going to be a busy day. 5 bouquets to finish and lots of prep for the workshop tomorrow. You immersed yourself in the wrapping right away.

A few minutes later, your phone lighted up. It was a message from jongki.

J:yaaa, are you ignoring me deliberatelyy? do you want to come over again on sunday?

You scoffed when you saw the message because your detective mind came to a conclusion that the latter question was just bait to get the answer to his first question. He was tempting you with a chance at his place that was a hit or miss if you don’t reply him.

You put down the stalks of flowers you were still holding in your hands, you paused to form an appropriate reply.

Text:

my lunch was great, and i cant go over on sunday, im going to my parent’s place

You typed then deleted it, doesn’t sound about right, you remember telling him yesterday that you got a half day shift on sunday which you really hated.

Trying again,

i got called back at work

Sounds fine? Should you send it like this?

‘Delivery!’

Reacting in shock , you pressed the send button by accident at the voice of delivery man

ah shucks!

You closed your eyes and hit yourself on the head imaginatively. Smiling at the delivery guy, you received the parcels and signed them off.

One of it came in a tube, while the other was in a box.

What in the world did unnie order that would come in a tube? Wallpapers? Drawings??

The tube really piqued your curiosity, so you decided to check that first. opened it first.

Opening the tube, you pulled out a rolled piece of paper. Unrolling it, you noticed at the top right was a black and white logo that writes EXO Obsession.

Ohhhh EXO!! Unnie likes exo?

Ever since you watched 100 days my prince, you had a positive inclination towards EXO. Which also reminded you of jongki who seems to like EXO Kai.

You wondered who was going to be in this poster. Not like you would recognise them though, you thought, unless its do kyungsoo ssi.

A little excited, you pulled the poster open to full length.

Looking at the poster that stared back at you. Your smile faded away. Your jaw dropped.

‘Jongki oppa?’ you muttered under your breath

There was an uncanny resemblance between the man in the poster and jongki.

No way, who the hell is this from EXO?

You turned the poster to the back hoping to find a name of the man in the picture. But there was no information.

Flipping back over, you looked closer at the other small details on the logo, you found this 3 lettered word staring back at you — ‘KAI’.

EXO KAI? Jongki watches his dance videos... or rather, Jongki also can dance ..

There were only two logical possibilities to this , either jongki has a twin or... kai is jongki..

You had to know the answer to this incredulous situation.

Making a grab for your phone, you saw jongki had already replied you , but you weren’t even going to read it

Madly typing away

Y: Oppa, do you have a twin ?

You could feel blood pumping through your veins as you sent it.

How could this be possible ? He mustn’t be exo right?

Although you weren’t interested in boy groups, there’s no one that hasn’t heard of EXO in the whole of korea. And that’s how popular EXO is.

Even though you have never checked them out to find out how they looked like, but you still knew a few names. Names like Baekhyun , chanyeol and.. kai..

Thinking of it now, it seems to all make sense that he could dance, he has abs, he’s rich, works till late, doesn’t reply all the time....

As you waited for his text to come back in, you googled EXO Kai.

Birth name: Kim Jong In

Birthday: 14 Jan 1994

Height: 1.82m

1994 was his birth year, that’s right. Kim Jong in, difference of 1 word. 1.82m, yes, obviously describes him. Google images ? 100% similarity.

If it’s not a twin....

Ding!

His msg came in

J: uh, no.. that was so random though, why? Saw someone looking like me?

You didn’t want to believe this. The friend you’ve been hanging with and even sleeping at his place.. is kai?

In the past, when you watched those cliche dramas you never understood why people made such a huge fuss when they found out their dating partner has a hidden identity.

Like isn’t it totally exciting and fun! Especially if the person turns out to be some rich CEO. Wow, your rags to riches story would come true over night.

That’s how you thought you would react.

But honestly, all you felt was some sense of betrayal right now.

Y: oppa, I think I just found out what you do...

you sent

Just in a few seconds, he replied

J:really?! What’s your wild Guess this time ?

Your hands were shaking as you prepared to type this. The moment you send this and he confirms it... what are you going to do ?

But still, this has to be done

Y: EXO Kai. Kim Jong In.

Again, he replied instantaneously

J:omg, took you long enough!! How did you find out though??!

Clearly not being able to sense the tension over the phone, he was, as usual, cheery about everything.

Y:so it’s true ? Why did you lie your name to me?

You had no idea why you felt so emotional to the brink of tears about this truth.

J: ah, I’m sorry for lying about that.. I was worried initially if I told you my real name you might make a connection and recognise me at the start.

He double texted as soon as you received that msg, saying

J: y/n, are you ok?

You typed

no I’m not. I don’t even know how I should be feeling now, or what I should be doing about our friendship.

But.. you didn’t send it. You switched your phone to do not disturb and kept it in your bag.

You stared blankly at the poster for a while before putting it back in the tube. You’re still in disbelief. This situation was ridiculous. But it was logical.

In a state of mental breakdown, you couldn’t even wrap your bouquets right. You switched over to prepping for the workshop tomorrow instead. But your mind was so preoccupied with the whole fiasco that you kept missing things out. You just wanted work to end and have the time to yourself.

The entire day went by in a mess, but at least it finally ended. Back at home, you scroll through the multiple texts he sent you

J: hmm, seems like you’re pretty shocked about this right?

J: I wanted to tell you but you said you preferred if I didn’t though..

Then there was also a missed call from him

J: Call me back?

You swiped away all his notifications. There is something you really want to do, but not really ready to. You contemplated

Should I? Search kai up ?

Typing into Google, you searched kai. It was strange, just 24 hours ago you guys were so close, almost like lovers. But right now, you’re searching him up and getting to know him like an unreachable stranger.

You tapped into one of those webpages that told fans his entire life story. From his blood type to who he has ever dated and all that small little things people conclude from what he has said.

Again, you felt a stab in your heart and sour inside. These were things you never knew about , but surely, everyone else but you knew. It was like... jongki wasnt jongki, this him is different, it feels so far and distant from the one you knew...

Pondering on that thought, you let out a bitter laugh. Jongki really wasnt jongki. He was never jongki.

Switching to YouTube , you click on ‘mmmh’ the first result when you searched kai. No matter how you tried to keep an open mind, you didn’t like it. His costume made him strange and the song really wasn’t your type.

Deciding that’s enough for the day, you put your phone aside and tried your best to fall asleep.

—-

Back at work the next day, you decided to get some ‘intel’ from your boss about kai.

‘Unnie, you like EXO Kai?’

‘Ne!!! Wae? Isn’t his visuals to die for???’ She reacted so excitedly upon hearing his name

‘Why don’t I remember you liking EXO though?’

‘I recently just got into them because of my friend who kept playing their songs on repeat in her car’ she laughed as she fixed the flowers

‘Why did you ask though? Since when were you interested in boy groups?’ She continued asking

‘Ah... When I checked the poster yesterday I thought kai was really good looking, so I’m just asking haha. So what’s so nice about kai you bought a poster?’ Finally asking what you really wanted to .

‘Oh gawd, you really wanna know? I could go on a whole day about jongin. Though he is sooooo fierce on stage , killer looks and everything, but he has such a cute personality!! You know when they ........’

And she went on and on about it, even showing you clips of kai on variety shows, interviews, etc. In these the sense of familiarity was back, you felt like this was the Jongki you knew. Oh well, it’s Jongin now, you really got to change it out.

You laughed along with your boss and you understood why he had so many fan girls. Introducing you to some EXO songs, you had to admit you really liked them!

Knowing more about kai now, you went back home that night and sat infront of your laptop, making a search for EXO’s variety shows, music videos and the likes.

You searched up ‘kai cute moments’ and you wanted to sqush him because he was just so cute like how he was normally. At the same time you can’t help but feel a little jealous that you’re sharing these sides of him with other people too.

You watched his dance videos and he was literally a dancing king. Thinking back to when he danced for you, you suddenly realised just how many girls would die to be in your place.

It was already 1am by the time you finished your search. A msg came in just as you were about to crash

J: are you up? I’m going to the convenience store to grab some food. Are you hungry? Want to come along?

Seeing his msg, you felt a little bad about ignoring him for the 2nd day now. How should you reply him now that the situation is a little awkward ?

Nicely, your phone died as you were thinking.

Alright, just a sign I should go to bed, oppa I’ll reply you after I get my phone charged up tmr.

——

You woke up to an absolutely crisis that you overslept. Considering how you didn’t sleep well for the past 2 nights over jongin, this was bound to come. You quickly washed up and left for work.

Plugging your phone into the portable battery, you phone came back to live. Again, jongin was persistent in his texts.

J:y/n ah don’t ignore me please

J:Come over on sunday?

J: I’m waiting for your reply.

It was 1.30am when he asked you to come over on sunday, but his last message was past 3am. He must have been thinking about what happened with you.. You felt bad for being so absorbed in how you felt and failed to consider his feelings when it really wasn’t his fault.

All this started out because of your dumb self who wanted to play detective. But then again, if you had found out who he was from the start, would you have gotten this close with him? Possibly not. You replied him without delay

Y: i’ll come over on sunday

The shop gets really busy on saturdays, packed with workshops, tons of deliveries and online orders. You didn’t have time to check your phone till the end of the day, at which you saw you missed jongin’s call and texts again.

J: omg, you finally replied! is there anything you want to eat on tomorrow? i could get it if you’re coming over from work

J: we are all ok now right?

Should you call him back? It wasn’t like you were completely okay yet, you couldn’t imagine how it would like seeing him tomorrow. He was surely still that jongki you knew, but he was also kai.

Thinking to leave the rest for tomorrow to think about, you just replied

Y: there’s nothing i really want, just get whatever you like:)

Back at home, for the 3rd night in a row, you stayed up like a fan girl again, watching all of EXO ladders, their concert videos. You squealed and fangirled over them like a teenage girl. The more you watched, the more you started falling harder for them.

---

A halfday shift always makes your day go by real fast. You were standing outside jongin’s door. You were suddenly reminded of the times you watched 100 days my prince with him and talked about D.O. who he probably knows 1000x better than you do. And how you asked if he was a kai fan. Oh gawd, you wanted to jump into a hole. Feeling a little nervous and a little awkward and hella embarrassed, you didn’t want to press the door bell.

Finally pressing the door bell, you waited for barely half a minute, which felt like eternity before he opened the door. You could even feel your palms sweating.

‘Annyeong Y/N! Come in quickly!’

You didn’t reply him immediately, neither did you move an inch yet. The smile on his face slowly faded and he just looked at you, starting to chew on his lips.

Seeing his face once again, in real life, your heart skipped a beat. You knew it wasn’t because he was kai, but because he was still jongki, that someone special to you.

You quickly smiled back at him the moment you got out of your thoughts. He let out the breath that he has been holding, making you laugh.

‘Annyeong, jong..’ you paused there, about to call him jongki

‘annyeong jongin oppa’ it sounds weird to you, not to be calling him the name you were used to

You guess he must have been feeling a little awkward when you called him by his real name too, he scratched his head and chuckled.

‘I ordered pizza, are you hungry? let’s eat’ he gestured for you to go to the dining area and was ready to walk away

But you felt you had to talk to him first about this,

‘oppa, can we talk?’

He turned around to face you, he nodded slowly

‘sure..’

You walked over to him, leaving a comfortable space between the both of you.

He avoided your eye contact as you started

‘so... EXO Kai huh?’

‘...y/n, i.. you should know i have no intentions to hide anything from you deliberately, i was ready to tell you anytime. but i also thought you would react in a ‘pleasant surprise’ way rather than a ‘nasty shock’ received, so i just let it be’

He looked at you with sincerity in his beautiful eyes which showed how bad he felt. But you honestly just wanted to clear the air and lighten up the mood

‘actually, I just wanted to tell you that... I became an EXOL!’

You exclaimed and laughed. His eyes widened and stared at you like you were out of your mind, before bursting into laughter too.

But his laughter soon turned to sobs, and he rubbed his eyes profusely, which got you stunned

‘I... I thought I messed up our friendship, our relationship. And I really missed you, I didn’t want our us to end like this.....’ he said in between sobs and almost sounded like he was wailing

‘We haven’t even started...! Y/N, you scared me when you didn’t even reply at all! I thought you didn’t want to contact me anymore!’ He give you a light push on your shoulder as he emotionally spilled out all his thoughts

Though you were really confused, it was heart wrenching to see him cry so hard. You quickly put your arms around his waist and have him a hug.

‘Oppa, I’m sorry for the past few days I ignored you. I was just trying to figure how to handle the weight of the truth that you’re EXO Kai. Hahah, I’m so confused at your reaction right now you know.’

Calming down, but still sounding nasal he said

‘I’m going to make you stay here today until I’m convinced that you don’t hate me for being kai.

Oh and that you won’t go MIA on me again if you found out some other kai stuff’

Breaking away from the hug, he grabbed onto your shoulders

‘Y/N I like you, I really like you, so don’t leave my life please’

His impromptu confession got you feeling shy, you didn’t know what to do , but merely nodded in response.

Feeling all bright again he grabbed your hand and pulled you into the house.

You were glad it was as if nothing has changed, except that you probably became the luckiest fangirl alive just like this.

———

This fic went through so many content changes, I’m so glad I finished writing this! For those that waited for this part, I hope it wasn’t too underwhelming:,) feel like there’s definitely still a lot for me to work on as a new writer.

Also just dropping a note to say this would most probably be my last fic tell after may! Please check out of my other fics in the meantime too:) Hopefully I’ll be back with better writings !

#kai #exo #exo fanfic #exo scenario #exo scenarios #kim kai #kim jongin #jongin fanfic #jongin scenarios #jongin scenario #exo kai #exo jongin #exo comeback #nini #kai x gucci

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brelione · 4 years

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High on the roof (Sarah Cameron X Reader)

Request:So like stupid me forgot the number of the prompt and I’m too lazy to go back and check for it but it was like “So you fucked my brother and my current boyfriend”. Could you do that but change it to ex boyfriend, with Sarah being the one to say that talking about Rafe and Topper? Idk if that made sense..

Sorry that this is so short lol

For some reason you and Sarah thought it would be a fantastic idea to get high on her roof one night when Ward,Rose,Wheezie and Rafe were out for whatever reason.Sometimes to remind himself just how rich he was Ward would take everyone to a nice hotel for a weekend.

Sarah had insisted on staying home from this mini vacation of the month,deciding she’d rather have the house to herself instead of staying in a hotel room with Rafe and Wheezie being annoying assholes.You two giggled,laying on the roof as random thoughts came to your head. “Hey-hey why-do you ever like-you know how Rafe is like-like obsessed with you?”Sarah laughed,rolling on to her stomach to look at you.

You laughed,wiping your nose with your sleeve. “Okay-Okay so like...Like I didnt mean to do it but like-a few couple of like months of yesterday ago I somehow ended up sleeping with him and I guess he caught feelings.”You giggled,not paying attention to what you were saying.Her jaw dropped,laughing. “Are you serious right now?”She asked.You nodded,laughing as well. “Yeah,hes literally so fucking loud how did you not hear it?”You asked.

She shrugged,snorting.You laughed harder,not understanding why you were finding everything so funny. “Wait-wait so is that where the hickeys on your back came from that one time?”She asked,remembering from a year back when you had come over to go swimming.She had asked you if you had got into a fight or fallen off your bed,only to find out that they were hickeys from someone that you refused to tell her about.You shook your head.

“No,that was Topper.But it was from before you guys were dating!And before we were dating-I was trying to figure out things about myself,dont judge me.”You chuckled,realising how fucked up it was that you were telling Sarah about this.Her eyebrows furrowed. “So you fucked my brother and my ext boyfriend”She sighed.You nodded,your smile faltering slightly. “Yeah,Topper sucks and Rafe is….well.”You sighed,making Sarah slap your arm lightly. “Im better though,right?”She asked.You nodded,grinning. “Of course.”You answered.

@poguestyleskye @jjtheangel @balanceofgray @httpstarkey @copper-boom @outerbongs

If you’d like to be tagged in all future JJ imagines/headcannons/series comment with a heart,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Pope imagines/headcannons/series comment with a smiling face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Rafe imagines/headcannons/series comment with a frowning face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Kiara imagines/headcannons/series comment with a question mark and if you’d like to be tagged in all future Sarah Cameron imagines/headcannons/series comment with a plus sign.If you’d like to be tagged in all Kelce content coment with a “>” and if youd like to be tagged in all Topper content comment with a “%”.Or if thats too complicated you can just comment whose name you’d like to be tagged in.

#sarah cameron #sarah cameron x reader #sarah cameron imagine #sarah cameron x you #obx sarah #madelyn cline #sarah cameron x y/n #sarah cameron headcannon #outer banks #outerbanks

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scxrlettwxtches · 5 years

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worn out jackets pt.2 | hwang hyunjin

Genre: badboy!hyunjin x class president!reader, fluff, angst

Warnings: violence!

Word Count: +10.0k

Description: Hwang Hyunjin and you were now what were considered to be very good friends, but that doesn’t mean your relationship was a smooth sailing as the two of you wanted. The fact that you’re head over heels in love with him also doesn’t help that much.

Author’s Note: hahahaha remember when i said this would be posted in like a week? i lied. im so so sorry this took literally a month to write and im still not totally satisfied with it, but i really hope everyone enjoys it!! as always, my ask box is open to rants and comments about my writing, since there are little plot lines that i didn’t have time to fit in. :)

Part 1

After that incident with his parents, Hwang Hyunjin walked you home. Whether he was trying to be a gentleman or just paying back the favor of you comforting him, you couldn’t tell. He didn’t say anything during the whole journey, but you appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

It seemed your mother had stopped by the house that day, since the spare key was back where it was supposed to be: under the door mat. Hyunjin stood behind you silently as you opened the door, but it was a comfortable silence, not like the suffocating aura from before.

“Thanks for walking me home, Hyunjin,” you said softly, bowing politely. Hyunjin’s posture looked relaxed as he smiled gently, waving off your thanks. You waited for a second to see if he would say more, but he didn’t.

You shut the door, threw your backpack on the couch, and were well on the way to taking a nice long nap when you heard Hyunjin call out your name.

“Hey, Y/N?” Startled, you moved back to the entrance, your hand on the doorknob when Hyunjin spoke again, “D-don’t open the door.”

Frowning, you obeyed and waited for whatever he was going to do or say.

“I’m too much of a coward to say it to your face,” his voice was muffled by the object between the two of you, “but from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything that you do for me.”

By the time you had snapped yourself out of whatever trance you had fallen in (because The Hwang Hyunjin was thanking you what the fuck—) and flung open the door, the boy was already gone. With the street empty and gloomy, it was almost as if he was never there to begin with.

ii.

From that point on, the rest of the detentions with Hyunjin were actually quite pleasant experiences, if you had to admit. Despite still being infamously late to every one of his classes, he always seemed to arrive to the detention classroom before you did. He’d walk over to snatch a large stack of papers from your bag, and the two of you would work silently for the hour and a half. You never asked him to help you, but you couldn’t say no to the possibility of getting yourself some decent shut eye when you got home.

Neither of you said much during these detentions, though Hyunjin would occasionally walk over and tease you about how strict you were with your grading. In return, you’d chastise him for giving Minho passing grades when it was clear that he had failed, but would flunk Jisung just because (“he drank the rest of my apple juice without asking!”).

Just like that, Hyunjin’s week of detention ended, and so did your reason to spend time with him.

You couldn’t help but be a little disappointed about this. In a week, Hyunjin had broken past the tall, unyielding walls of your heart, and it scared you that he now had the most ideal opportunity to just walk out of your life, never to come back.

However, to your relief (and delight), Hyunjin stayed.

It wasn’t a dramatic change, at least not at school. Both of you still lived in completely different universes that never crossed, but it came in the form of a fresh bento box in your locker that you definitely didn’t make, or half of your work being magically graded and slipped into your backpack during lunch break. You weren’t sure how Hyunjin managed to figure out your locker combination to sneak in your lunch or steal some of your teacher’s paperwork, but you knew it was him.

Because of this, you decided to show that you were there for him too. Yours came in the form of class notes that you would slip in his bag when he wasn’t in the room, or the secret pieces of paper you’d slip in his locker to warn him about which teacher was close to giving him detention. True to your word, you had removed his detention from the school system (and maybe even a couple more).

It wasn’t the ideal friendship you wanted to have with him, but it was comforting to know that someone was watching over you.

Once out of school, however, Hyunjin was a totally different person, clinging to you like a koala to their favorite tree (you were the tree, sadly). After the detention week, he had never once failed to walk you home, always making sure you were safely inside before leaving.

Now, three months later, he was still waiting for you outside the school like he was every other day, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket, eyes closed as he was lost in whatever music he was listening to through his earphones. With the winter sunset as a backdrop and the relaxed expression on his face, Hyunjin seriously looked even more handsome than normally did, and you didn’t even know how that was possible.

Pushing down your embarrassing thoughts, you quietly walked up to him and kicked his shin lightly. You honestly didn’t know how the “bad boy” Hyunjin persona was so ingrained in the school population when he would literally lose his shit if someone so much as tapped his shoulder without him knowing they were there.

“Y/N, what the fuck,” he groaned, bending down to rub his leg dramatically, “I wait for you until six o’clock to walk you home, and this is how you repay me?”

You raised your eyebrows in amusement, “Didn’t you say you had to model for the photography club after school, and that’s why it was only ‘convenient’ that we went home at the same time?”

Hyunjin blushed, “Yeah, of course. That’s what I meant, dummy,” he said defensively, and you wondered if he knew how adorable he looked with his cheeks puffed out in a frown.

“You’re the dummy,” flicking his forehead as he was still crouched down, you began walking to the school exit, “Photography club doesn’t even meet today.”

Imagining Hyunjin’s face with glee, you kept walking, knowing that the athletics god would catch up to you in no time. Whenever your Class President duties caused you to stay after school, Hyunjin always found a stupid excuse to stay after as well. To say they were stupid was an understatement, since he had reused the same one multiple times and had even once mentioned joining a club that didn’t even exist anymore. But you guess it was kinda cute, seeing how determined he was to walk with you even when it meant cutting into his personal time.

Hyunjin caught up to you with a brisk walk (which shows just how fast he was and how athletically incompetent you were), huffing. His cheeks still had a dash of pink on them as he complained, “Could you stop embarrassing me like that?”

“I’ll stop embarrassing you when you stop lying about having reasons to stay after school other than to walk with me.”

“Me? Walk you home?” Hyunjin’s face contorted into a mock horrified expression, “Preposterous.”

You couldn’t hold in your laugh this time, and you sent a weak punch to his shoulder. These were your favorite times with Hyunjin, the moments in life where neither of you had to worry about your status, your friends, your daily troubles. It was like nothing else mattered in these moments except you and Hyunjin.

As the two of you rounded to the school bus station, you felt two fingers gently graze against the back of your hand, sending electricity up your arm. It was these hints, these subtle actions that cause you to wonder if Hyunjin was actually trying to make a move. Yet, the thought would leave in less than a millisecond, because his fingers have never made it to the palm of your hand, much less to the point of lacing them together with yours.

“Why didn’t you say you were home alone yesterday?” he asked, leaning against a pole and silently offering you the only seat at the station.

“Okay, I’m one hundred percent convinced that you hired a spy to stalk me at this point,” you accused with no bite in your voice, “How in the world did you know that?”

“Jisung saw you walking to school this morning, and your mom always drops you off if she was home.”

“So, Jisung is your spy?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, with a strange amount of bite in his voice, “Like I would spend money to employ Jisung. I wouldn’t even accept his services if they were free.”

“Did something happen between you and Jisung again?”

Now that you were objectively friends with Hyunjin as well as Jisung, it didn’t take long for you to see the evident tension between the two. From what you’ve heard from both sides (and Jeongin, because Jeongin can get all the tea with his dimple smile and puppy eyes), it’s a lot better than before, but you couldn’t help but sense a sliver of agitation in Hyunjin’s voice whenever your conversations led to Jisung.

The boy turned away from you, staring at the pavement, “Not exactly,” he grumbled, and you decided not to push, since Hyunjin was the type to come to you if he needed your advice. It was clear that there was something, though, and you were thinking about how you could squeeze it out of either Jeongin or Jisung when the bus pulled up abruptly.

Seeing that it was already quite late for a school day, the bus was pretty empty, so Hyunjin and you got your pick of seating. As always, he offered you the window seat, apparently because “it’s farther away from the aisle where strange men could bother you.” It was a pretty valid reason, you had to admit, and you slipped into the seat without much protest.

As the bus chugged on, passing multiple stops, you began to notice that Hyunjin’s normally excited eyes were dropping slightly, as if he were about to fall asleep. That’s weird, you thought, because Hyunjin did look a bit tired in his classes, too. Glancing at him from the corner of your eyes, you saw his head fall for a split second before he caught himself and stayed awake for a moment before falling back into an uncomfortable slumber.

Still, no matter how much he tossed and turned, he never seemed to lean to your direction. It was too obvious to be a coincidence and you wondered why it felt like Hyunjin was subconsciously trying to avoid falling asleep on you.

Gently, you tapped his thigh to get his attention, but not in a way that could wake him up abruptly. God knows that’s the worst thing you could do to a person.

“Hyunjin,” you whispered, and his eyes fluttered ever so slightly at your call, “if you want–um, if you want to lay your head on my shoulder, you can.”

If he were fully conscious, you were sure that he would’ve refused, making some stupid excuse while trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. It was always a mystery to you, why Hyunjin, who soaked up physical interaction like a sponge, would always seem to shy away from it whenever it came to you. Were you just so out of his radar that he doesn’t even want to give you the false hope?

But in that moment on the bus, Hyunjin was probably too sleepy and too delirious to think about your words carefully, because he accepted your offer by snuggling against you. Snuggling. You. He rubbed his head against your shoulder, his soft black hair tickling your face, and his arms snaked around yours, holding it tightly. You thanked your lucky stars that he was fast asleep, since your face was probably the shade of a ripe tomato.

As he slept on, you finally got an up close look at his face (not that you didn’t have the chances otherwise, you just always found yourself looking away whenever he got too close), and you frowned when you noticed a pallid yellow looking bruise on his left cheek, skillfully masked with makeup. You also take note of the scar under his eye, not covered with any foundation but still blending in with the rest of his complexion. You remember when he got that, about a month ago, because he had knocked on your door with a sheepish smile and a dark shades of purple mottling his face.

Naturally, you had freaked out, dragging him into the kitchen to nurse his wounds. You eventually learned that this wasn’t a one time occurrence, especially since he began showing up at your door on various days with some sort of bodily injury.

Hyunjin never told you where the bruises came from, except when he reassured you that they weren’t from his parents. It was no secret that bad boy Hwang Hyunjin got into fights, came to school with bruised knuckles and cuts on his cheeks, but now that you knew him, now that you knew Hwang Hyunjin wasn’t all just thorns and sharp edges, you worried for him.

In the back of your head, you wondered if the boy knew how much you cared, or if he even bothered to know at all.

The bus soon neared your stop, and you sadly had to break up what was quite a comfortable position for both of you. Shaking your shoulder lightly, and brushing the hair out of his face, you whispered, “Hyunjin, it’s time to get up.”

The boy groaned, rubbing his cheek against your shoulder stubbornly, but you began pulling away, “Idiot, we’re gonna miss our stop!”

“Okay, okay,” Hyunjin mumbled a reply, obviously still only half conscious, but awake enough to sit upright just as the bus pulled into the stop. A little worried that he might collapse, you kept a firm grip on his arm even as the two of you stepped onto the street. It wasn’t until you could feel him steadying himself that you let go.

The two of you walked in silence, falling into routine. The streets in your neighborhood were relatively empty like usual, which got a little unnerving when you had to walk home yourself. Even with Hyunjin walking home, you still found yourself on high alert whenever you heard a strange sound, or felt the chill of someone watching you.

“Oh my god,” Startled, you whipped around to glance at Hyunjin, who brought his hands up to cover his face in mortification, “I fell asleep on you, didn’t I?”

You nodded silently, trying to act more casual than you were actually feeling. The blush on Hyunjin’s face could be seen through his fingers as he visibly panicked, “Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t think I would—“

Waving your hands frantically, you dismissed his worries, “It’s okay! I asked you first.”

Hyunjin’s eyes were curiously wide, “You did?”

You laughed off your embarrassment, nodding, “Yeah. It was pretty cute, to be honest,” you added as an afterthought.

(You didn’t know, but this was the moment Hyunjin began to think—began to hope—that maybe his feelings were being reciprocated. If you were at least half as in love with him as he was with you, he would be satisfied.)

As the house came into view, the embarrassment of the moment died down, and Hyunjin began to grow talkative again, “Are you home alone again?”

“For a little,” you said, staring at the pavement, “My mom’s coming home really early morning.”

When you unlocked the door, Hyunjin silently keeping watch of the street, you started hesitantly, “Do you want to come in and chill?”

This wasn’t the first time you’ve asked, and Hyunjin has hung out at your place multiple times. For a moment, you thought he would say yes; you could see it in his eyes and his body language that he wanted to stay.

“Nah, I can’t today,” Hyunjin said sadly, running a hand through his hair, “I’ve got work.”

You felt a sudden pang of annoyance (and hurt, because Hyunjin didn’t have to lie just so he didn’t have to spend time with you), “You and I both know you don’t have a job, Hyunjin,” you tried to keep the taste of bitterness out of your voice.

Despite your efforts to hide your growing disappointment, it was at moments like this where it was clear that Hyunjin could read you like an open book. Immediately, he moved towards you, his expression apologetic as his hands twitched, almost as if he was holding himself back from reaching for you.

“I really wish I could stay,” Hyunjin tried to look you in the eyes directly to convey his sincerity, “It’s just, Channie-hyung wants us to do this thing tonight, and I really can’t ditch this time.”

You shook your head, “It’s fine, really” you said, and you genuinely wanted to believe it was. It wasn’t your place to be clingy, you reminded yourself, and it certainly wasn’t your place to be disappointed that he wouldn’t stay with you.

Hyunjin could only stare forlornly as you entered the house, the air between you thick with a tension that hasn’t existed since you first started interacting. Before you closed the door, you managed a smile as you said, “Tell the boys I said hi.”

iii.

What a disaster.

The moment you shut the door on Hyunjin, you sank to the wood floor, your head in your hands as you sighed dejectedly. Three months. Three bloody months, and the two of you still faced the same problem as you did when you hated each other.

Why was it that when it came to Hwang Hyunjin, you were just unable to voice your true feelings?

It was easier for a while, when you had finally learned to look past his expensive clothes to see the vulnerable boy underneath. It was easier back then to be true to yourself, because the two of you shared a mutual understanding that made you close. You found a kindred spirit in a world full of lies and expectations, and he found someone who was willing to accept him for who he was.

Now, you found yourself just as flustered, as helpless as when you first met him, because in just three months, it was not an exaggeration to say that Hwang Hyunjin held your heart in his hands. It terrified you, because every time you spoke to him, it felt like every casual conversation, every brush of the hand, every giggle meant the world to you. And the worst part was that he probably didn’t even know.

Hwang Hyunjin made you speechless in the best way. He made you laugh in a way you didn’t even know you could. He made you forget about the unpaid bills, the upcoming exams, the college applications that had consumed every moment of your life. He freed you from your own anxiety, calling you late at night just so you wouldn’t be up alone studying. He helped you with everything that you had always thought you would have to bear alone, and that was only a portion of why he was so special to you.

Maybe, just maybe, you were ready to accept that you were in love with Hwang Hyunjin.

After what felt like an eternity, you pushed yourself off the floor, wiping some wetness off your cheeks. Not even a boy like Hyunjin was going to distract you from doing your work, and you got quickly lost in your house chores while blasting your “sad girl hours playlist.”

On top of your seemingly miserable love life, there were a lot of things that you worried about as a senior in high school. Your mom still worked three jobs, and after taking on extra hours for one of them, you barely ever see her any more. If you were being honest, you had been mulling over the idea of not applying for colleges and just going straight to work. After all, any university would cost a shit ton of money that you didn’t have.

People would be mad, you thought amusedly, if you made it known that you weren’t planning on applying to universities. Your teachers would be most furious, not because they actually care, but because their star student dropping out after high school would be absolutely scandalous for their reputation. Jisung would be mad too, because he knew how much you studied throughout high school and knew how much you wanted to graduate with a degree.

And Hyunjin—Hyunjin would probably offer to pay for your education if you so much as mentioned that you didn’t have the funds to attend a university, and that absolutely could not happen. You didn’t want his pity money, and you certainly didn’t want to feel that you were leeching off him.

As much as you wanted a diploma to hang in your house, you’d rather work right after high school than beg for money from anyone.

So, it really looked like you were going to be a post-high school dropout.

Awesome.

You slaved away over your housework until it was well past 10 pm, which was when you realized that it was a good idea to sit your ass down and eat some dinner. With some effort, you put together a gourmet meal of ramen and some leftover bulgogi, and were eating contently in the kitchen when your phone buzzed. You jumped at the sound, because it’s rare that anyone would be calling you at this hour.

Without even glancing at the caller ID, you picked up, knowing that it was probably your mom (or a panicked Jisung who forgot what the homework was), “Hello?”

“You picked up,” a familiar voice replied, sounding relieved. The line cracked slightly as your heart skipped.

“Hyunjin?” you asked, standing up already, “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

There was a moment of silence, and you were literally one second away from dropping everything you had to run to Hyunjin’s house when he spoke again, “No, everything’s fine. Just—“

Hyunjin trailed off before speaking tiredly, “I just wanted to hear your voice, that’s all.”

“I’m flattered, I really am,” you said, blushing slightly even though he couldn’t see you, “But something tells me there’s more to the story. Where are you?”

“I’m—,” there was a strained groan, and you immediately grew alert, “I’m actually on your street. Do you think I could crash at your place for a bit?”

You were stunned for a moment, too shocked to say anything, and Hyunjin immediately accepted the rejection with a bitter chuckle, “Guess not.”

“No, no, no!” you said frantically, “I was just caught off guard. Of course you can stay. I’ll come let you in right now.”

“Wait,” Hyunjin spoke sternly as you walked to the door, “Don’t open the door until I knock on it. There’s some drunk people walking around here.”

“There’s always at least a couple drunk people on this street,” you said mildly, but did whatever Hyunjin asked of you anyway.

“I know,” he replied, “but I’m still allowed to worry.”

His voice sounded close, and you could very faintly hear his real voice through the door as you heard someone shuffling around before knocking lightly. You hung up the phone and took the deadbolt out of your entrance.

“Not that I don’t enjoy your company,” you started as you pulled open the door, “but what exactly warrants a visit at ten—oh my god, Hyunjin.”

Standing in your doorway was a sheepish looking Hwang Hyunjin, more bruised, battered, and bloodier than ever.

iv.

“I know I’ve looked better, but can you please stop staring at me like I’m turning into a llama?”

There was no time for small talk, at least for you. Without so much as an indication that you had heard him, you yanked him into the hallway by his jacket, shutting the door quickly behind you. Hyunjin yelped, but followed you obediently and without much resistance.

Shoving him unceremoniously into a chair around the dining table, you immediately began fussing around him, cupping his face in your hands to check for cuts on his face, running your hands through his hair gently to feel for bruises. You didn’t have any idea what you were thinking at the time, only that Hyunjin was hurt, Hyunjin is in pain, why is Hyunjin bleeding. Then, you attacked his leather jacket, taking it off rather roughly when you observed that he didn’t seem to be majorly injured. Your hands then dived for his white t-shirt before you regained an ounce of self control and held yourself back.

“Can you take your shirt off?” you tried to push away your embarrassment as you gestured to the white piece of clothing. Hyunjin had never been injured enough for you to have to do any work on his chest or abdomen, and now you were being faced with the alarming prospect of seeing Hyunjin with his shirt off for the first time.

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, “You seemed well on your way to do it yourself just earlier,” he sounded rather amused, and your cheeks flushed bright pink.

“I’m not going to take your shirt off for you, Hwang Hyunjin,” you snapped, and turned away to grab some disinfectant wipes and bandages. You heard Hyunjin chuckle softly as he wriggled out of his t-shirt.

In any other occasion, you would’ve been flustered beyond belief, blushing and making a quick exit. As embarrassing as it was to admit, you had never been close with many boys, certainly not to the point where you’ve seen any of them up close without a shirt. And it wasn’t a surprise to see that Hyunjin was really fucking hot.

But that day, all you could see were the dark purple bruises mottling his body, the thin slashes that looked eerily like knife cuts. The embarrassment dissipated, and you could only stare in horror because why why why—

Hyunjin had grown silent as well, watching you carefully as you knelt down in front of him and began cleaning his wounds. He didn’t flinch when the antiseptic touched his open cuts, and you found your hands uncontrollably trembling as you dabbed as his wounds.

You could feel frustrated tears pooling in your eyes as all you could focus on were those injuries, those god forsaken injuries, and—

“Hey, hey,” you felt a large, gentle hand over yours as they stopped your movement, “You’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

Blinking the tears away, your hands fell limp in his, and you wanted nothing more than to sink into Hyunjin’s embrace, “Why are you showing up like this again?” you whimpered, trying to keep your voice steady, “You were literally here last week and now it’s even worse—“

“Well, I never asked to get beat up,” Hyunjin snorted, and his indifference to his own health hurt you. Is he completely oblivious to the fact that every injury he suffers pains you too?

“Where are you even going to get this hurt every week?” you finally find it in you to ask, because you’ve had enough of Hyunjin showing up with wounds that you didn’t know how he got.

Hyunjin tensed, you felt his hand stiffen over yours, “I...can’t say,” he spoke slowly.

“Why not?” you asked, frustrated. You turned your hand over to lace your fingers into his, a gamble on your part, but Hyunjin reciprocated easily, holding your hand as if it was the only thing he wanted to do.

“I just can’t,” Hyunjin repeated tiredly, looking at your intertwined hands intently with an emotion in his gaze that you couldn’t read.

“Are you not allowed to tell me, or do you just not want to?”

Hyunjin groaned, a twinge of annoyance in his voice, “Why are you so caught up about where I was?”

His tone of voice set you off the wrong way, and you retracted your hands as you replied defensively, “Well, if you’re going to be bleeding out in my kitchen every week, don’t you think I have the right to know?”

Suddenly, the look in Hyunjin’s eyes changed. He was no longer the open, vulnerable Hyunjin you just saw a moment ago. The air around the two of you was electric with tension, and his expression grew ever so slightly colder as he asked quietly, “Am I not welcome here anymore?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Hyunjin,” you replied simply. You will never reach a point in your life where you wouldn’t drop everything to help Hyunjin if he ever needed it, maybe because in your heart, you knew he’d do the same for you.

“You’re never unwelcome here,” you stated honestly, before gesturing to him and the pile of bloody wipes and bandages on the counter, “but this has to stop.”

From his posture and his expression, you could tell that Hyunjin was far from calming down as he scoffed, “And what exactly is this?”

He was deflecting, you knew it, but you weren’t so infatuated that you were going to let him walk all over you, especially since he was the one coming to you for help, “What I mean by this,” you hissed, “is you coming over with bruises and cuts that you can’t explain. It’s you showing up at ten in the night and expecting me silently patch you up without asking you questions. It’s you,” your voice cracked ever so slightly, “coming with injuries that just get worse by the week, and you still won’t tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Hyunjin stood up abruptly, his expression so icy that you could feel a strange chill just by looking at him, “You’re not my mother, so stop acting like one,” he snapped. Hyunjin seemed to regret his words the moment he said them, it was a flash of guilt in his eyes that was instantaneous and sharp, but he didn’t apologize, gritting his teeth as pride got the best of him.

“You’re right,” you heard yourself say, walking over to him slowly. Grabbing the set of bandages and antiseptic wipes, you shoved them into Hyunjin’s arms, “I’m not your mother. I thought I made that crystal clear the day I lied to her just to protect you.”

“That should be everything you need,” you give a quick glance at the materials in Hyunjin’s arms, “I’m not going to tell you to get out. There’s food in the fridge if you’re hungry. You know where everything is, since you invite yourself over so much. But I’m done helping, at least until you start being truthful.”

Hyunjin’s eyes lost their intensity as he watched you swing your bag over your shoulder. Putting the bandages on the counter, he asked in confusion, “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“It’s ten in the evening,” Hyunjin retorted, moving to put on his leather jacket as well.

“That didn’t seem to stop you.”

“That’s totally different.”

You nodded sarcastically, “Of course, everything’s different for you.”

“Stop being difficult,” the boy sighed, as if he was tired of fighting with you, but that only infuriated you more, because why was he speaking like you were the one making things hard for him?

“Sorry, I’ll get out of your hair then,” you said humorlessly, pulling open the door to welcome the biting cold. It seemed like it was only then that Hyunjin realized that you were being serious about leaving, because his eyes grew wide as he stretched out his hand instinctively.

“Wait, Y/N—,” you slammed the door shut before Hyunjin could finish. You could hear him making his way towards you, walking as fast as he could down the hallway, so you ran.You sprinted down the street, turning corners by instinct to get as far away from Hyunjin as you could.

Congratulations, you told yourself as tears dripped down your face.

You just pushed away the only person you had ever desperately wanted in your life.

By the time you made it to Jisung’s house, you were probably bawling. He lived pretty close to you, which was actually the reason the two of you became friends in the first place. Unlike Hyunjin, Jisung wasn’t wealthy. He wasn’t even well off, and you knew his parents were often out late at night to work double shifts, just like your mom. So, there was a high possibility that Jisung was home alone.

You punched the doorbell with unnecessary ferocity, your arms crossed tightly to defend yourself from the cold. To your luck, Jisung was still awake, and you heard him shouting as the door unlocked.

“Y/N? What the hell are you doing here?” He asked worriedly, pulling you into a quick hug, “It’s so late and—are you crying? What happened?”

Jisung dragged you into the house, sitting you down in the living room as he wrapped you in a thick blanket. His immediate kindness only made you more emotional, and you continued sobbing into your hands. Jisung had disappeared for a few minutes to return with a cup of hot tea, since you were freezing.

“Woah, woah, what’s going on?”

Gently, he pulled your hands away from your face. You must’ve looked like a mess, red-faced with tears all over, but Jisung didn’t mention anything, only crouching in front of you while gently comforting you.

“I fought with Hyunjin,” you said when you could finally breathe properly.

Jisung frowned, “Was Hyunjin at your place?”

You nodded, “He comes over every week whenever he’s all bruised up and hurt, a-and today I guess I was just really sick of him coming to me but he won’t ever tell me what happened and then everything just blew up—“

“Y/N, breathe,” Jisung stroked your hair to calm you down, because you were hyperventilating at that point, “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“He hates me.”

“I don’t think Hyunjin will ever be capable of hating you,” Jisung let out a chuckle, as if he knew something you didn’t, “As cringy as it is to say, that idiot cares about you more than he cares about anyone else in the universe. He was probably was just too riled up from earlier to think about what he was saying.”

“What happened?”

Jisung looked conflicted, and for a moment, you thought that he wouldn’t tell you either, “He got into a fight,” he said cautiously, as if he were treading on thin water.

Even through your tears, you couldn’t help but scoff, “Really? I thought he just fell down every single staircase he walked on.”

Jisung cracked a smile, looking visibly relieved that you were able to joke around, “Hyunjin…has a knack for pissing off the wrong people, and that tends to get him in trouble.”

“He’s also the son of some really fucking rich parents, so there’s eyes on him wherever we go. Whether he wants it or not, people will know who he is,” Jisung continued, moving to sit beside you on the couch, “It didn’t help that freshman year Hwang Hyunjin was angst embodied in an attractive, athletic body and he was able to punch people left and right but still relatively get away with it.”

“As much as he got away with it before, that shit catches up to you eventually, and now there’s a lot of pissed off people that want to settle the score with him.”

“What, so he just hosts a fight club where everyone lines up to kick his ass?”

Jisung laughed, “I think you’re underestimating Hyunjin, Y/N.”

“Well, he’s the one showing up beat up every week, so I don’t have much to go on,” you replied sarcastically.

“Trust me when I say this, Hyunjin knows how to throw a punch,” Jisung said, and the truthfulness behind his voice slightly worried you, “And Hyunjin doesn’t really look for trouble anymore, at least not like before. If anything, he’s getting caught up in shit mostly because of us.”

“Us?” you frowned, “Who’s ‘us’?”

“Did you really think that Stray Kids was just a dumb posse name we made up to be the next Mean Girls of high school?”

“Absolutely, and you will never convince me otherwise,” you said, deadpan.

Jisung rolled his eyes and ruffled your hair, “Can you stop deflecting? I’m trying to be serious and answer your question,” a smile betrayed the corner of his lips, and you couldn’t help but feel a little lighter just spending time with him.

“Look, Stray Kids don’t just prance around the school and do dumb stuff,” Jisung said, “We do bad things, things that could get us in huge trouble. We hack into companies to expose exploitation. We steal and sell in markets that absolutely are not legal. None of us are good people.”

You were still reeling from the load of information that just got dumped on you, but you weren’t going to allow Jisung to fall into that self-deprecating hole, “You’re a good person,” you said firmly, “The rest of the boys are good people, too. You wouldn’t be comforting me in the middle of the night if you weren’t a good person.”

Jisung managed a smile, “You’re always so determined to see the good in people you care about,” he gently took your hand in his, “I wish you could stop and see the good in yourself sometimes.”

There wasn’t anything you could say to that. You knew your worth, and you knew your limitations, so what was he talking about? You weren’t ever insecure about your status either, just bitter.

The boy seemed to understand your disbelief at his words, because he asked softly, “Why can’t you accept that Hyunjin is in love with you?”

You leapt out of your seat, standing away from Jisung as if stung, “He’s not in love with me!” you snapped, your anger rising to hide your sadness, “We were friends at most, and after today, I’m not sure we’re even acquaintances anymore.”

Jisung grew heated too, because he was tired of seeing you unconsciously hold yourself back from finding love because you thought you didn’t deserve it, “You’re so observant about everyone around you. You saw that Jeongin had a cold days before we realized. You say that Chan was having problems sleeping, so you lightened his schoolwork. You saw that Minho liked to dance, so you made arrangements for him to join the school dance club even though he wasn’t a student. You notice everything, big and small, so why can’t you see that everything Hyunjin does revolves around you?”

“Hyunjin has grown up so much in just these last three months, because of you,” he spoke softly, “He stopped smoking, which we had all agreed was a lost cause since we’ve tried to stop him for years. He hasn’t brought a random girl home for months. I know you’re stressed out because he shows up all beat up every week, but he would’ve shown up every other day if you had known him before. He doesn’t even like to fight anymore, it’s more of a necessity and a consequence from his past.”

“He’s so happy now, because of you,” Jisung whispered, pulling you back to the couch, “Why can’t you see that you mean the world to him?”

“I can’t,” you said, trying desperately to control your voice, “If I give myself that slightest bit of hope, I’ll be disappointed. If I let him in completely, he could destroy me. Jisung, look at me now, I’m trying to push him out and everything he does still hurts,” your voice cracked as you struggled to hold back your tears.

“We’ll just hurt each other,” you said quietly, Jisung pulling you into his arms as your cried silently. He silently wished to whoever was listening that you’d see Hyunjin would never, not in a million years, wish you pain. He was forced to watch for months as the two of you teetered around each other, too afraid to make a move but so desperate for each other’s company.

“We’re too different to make it work, Jisung.”

vi.

Going back to school the next day was torture. You had stayed the night at Jisung’s house, too drained to walk back home when it was so dark. You didn’t feel any better in the morning, and when you stared at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, your face was still puffy and blotchy from crying yourself to sleep.

Jisung and you walked to school together, and he seemed determined to make you feel better. You humored him as best you could, because you really were grateful for his company. Jisung could make you forget about your problems, if only for a moment, and he joked and quipped the whole bus ride to the school.

By the time you made it to your locker, Jisung following you with his books already in hand, you had managed to push the Hyunjin fiasco out of your head almost entirely. Yes, it still hurt, like a dull ache that wouldn’t go away, but you weren’t going to let him affect the rest of your life.

“I’m hurt,” Jisung was saying with that adorable pout on his face, “Stop slandering my breakfast!”

“Half of the egg shell was literally in my rice,” you replied, the corner of your lip quirking up amusedly, “I can still feel the scratches in my throat.”

“Oh, very funny,” Jisung let out an exaggerated laugh, “Remind me never to cook for you again.”

“That’s fine by me. Honestly, maybe I should make breakfast for you and give it to you at school. After this morning, I am highly concerned,” you said cheekily, before you sensed someone watching you. Turning around, your smile fell as Hyunjin looked at you from down the hall, his gaze unreadable.

The two of you stared at each other, and all of the pain from the night before came flooding back. He was still sporting those nasty cuts on his face, and his knuckles were wrapped poorly, no doubt done after you had left. He looked conflicted, as if wondering whether he should confront you. You probably had the same look on your face because, as much as you two had your differences, you didn’t want to leave any bad blood between the two of you. Hyunjin’s body moves towards you as his mouth opened to say your name and–

“Y/N, are you coming?” Jisung called from behind you, delicately tugging at your sleeve, and the connection snapped like a dry rubber band. Hyunjin stopped in his tracks, his whole body physically tensing up as if he had been slapped. The guilty expression had disappeared, and as you turned to give Jisung a gesture that you’ll follow him soon, you noticed his jaw clench angrily. His hand clenched into a tight fist as he leveled you with that infamous Hwang Hyunjin glare, the one that froze your heart. With a newfound vigor, he spun away from you, and without a look back, turned to walk down the opposite direction of the hallway without even giving you a chance to speak.

Utterly stunned by what had just happened, you blankly followed Jisung as he gently led you into the physics classroom, only answering him with nods or shakes of your head.

In that split second, Hyunjin’s eyes had flashed with so many emotions that you couldn’t decipher all of them clearly. Anger, frustration, coldness were just the few you could see. You found part of you wanting to run after him, to yank him by the arm and ask him what the fuck his problem was. But the final bell stopped you in your tracks, and you turned reluctantly towards your physics classroom.

As you pulled out your textbooks to get ready for class, your eyes couldn’t tear themselves away from the empty desk three seats to your left. Hyunjin’s normal desk. Was he skipping again? Frowning, you unconsciously began tallying the amount of absences he’s received in the last month. What if the teacher gets fed up suddenly and sends him to detention?

Without any conscious thought, you had begun fretting over Hyunjin again. Then, halfway through class and with your notebook filled with less than satisfactory doodles, you came to the mind boggling realization that it wasn’t your job to worry anymore, especially not when he paid back your kindness with distrust.

“Y/N, do you want to stop daydreaming and solve this equation on the board?” A sharp voice pierced your thoughts, and you flinched at your teacher’s pointed glare. You took a long look at the question as your brain began to put the pieces together, and stood up calmly, taking the chalk from your teacher’s hand.

Feeling the scorn boring down your back (your teachers never really liked you, the result of being too smart but too poor to afford full tuition), you solved the problem methodically and without hesitation, not even glancing at your teacher’s face. You knew it was right, anyway.

Jisung gave you a discreet thumbs up as you sat back down, shutting out your teacher and her obnoxious droning. A discreet slip of ripped notebook paper slid onto your desk, and you turned to look at Jisung who raised his eyebrows expectantly. With a quick roll of your eyes, you quietly glanced down at the note.

Did anything happen with Hyunjin today?

You scowled, scribbling furiously. No, it’s literally nine in the morning. Focus on class, idiot.

Stop moping, you scolded yourself. Your world doesn’t revolve around Hyunjin. You’ve gotten by every day without him, and now that he won’t be there anymore, you can still get by. You thought of his smile, the one that made his eyes disappear, the one that made him lean against you for support from laughing too hard. It hurt, but after seeing Hyunjin’s hardened gaze in the morning, you supposed it really was too late.

You spent the rest of the day drowning yourself in your studies, and Hyunjin’s seat remained empty.

vii.

School felt like those bombs that had frustratingly slow countdowns to them, and you were never as glad to leave as you were that day. Fortunately for you, student council wasn’t scheduled to meet after school, and you were one of the first people to step out of the building.

Your mother wasn’t picking you up this time. Actually, she'd been coming by less and less once she had found out that you actually had someone to accompany you home. You glanced at the time on your phone: 4 pm. And unconsciously, you found yourself sitting down on the side of the steps, waiting for your usual partner.

The moment it dawned on you, your face flushed, because how childish was it of you to expect Hyunjin to walk you home? You shuffled around awkwardly, but didn’t stand up. As much as you hated to admit it, you really wanted to walk with Hyunjin. Maybe it was just a safety issue, and maybe it was just your hope for a final attempt to patch together your fragmented relationship.

Besides, despite everything that would happen in his life, Hyunjin always remembered to go home with you. It was almost a ritual at this point, and as the minutes passed with no Hyunjin in sight, began to regret taking his presence for granted.

Five minutes, then ten minutes, and finally fifteen minutes passed, and you were ready to give up. Sighing quietly, you swung your backpack over your shoulder and you began to walk home alone. You stared at the school door forlornly, as if your staring would make him magically appear. Of course it didn’t.

You could almost hear him as you walked by yourself. You could almost smell his expensive cologne, hear his high pitched giggles, feel his hand brushing over yours. And more than any other moment in the past two days, you felt utterly, completely alone again.

It was an “again” situation, you tried to tell yourself, this isn’t any different from middle school, when all you knew were loud snickers, damp notebooks, and marked up desks. You were back to square zero, but the most painful part was that you had gotten to at least square ten smoothly before getting emotionally sucker punched in the gut.

Your phone buzzed in your hand as you walked down the empty streets, listening to whatever music you had saved on your playlists. Actually, a lot of the music you listened to was recommended by Hyunjin whenever you hung out at his apartment. He had pretty good music taste, if you had to admit.

It was a text from Jisung, asking if you had gotten home safely. You replied with a smiley face, since you weren’t exactly at home yet but there were only a couple of streets left.

You were still paying attention to your phone when your peripheral vision caught two men hanging out on the left side of the street. It was a rather narrow alleyway, and now that you were already walking, there wasn’t a way you could turn back without seeming obvious. One looked frighteningly well built, and the other was lean and tall, smoking a cigarette casually. Your eyes kept them in check as you tried to pick up your pace, and it soon became pretty clear that neither of them were drunk, which was suspicious. Only drunk people mingled in streets like this one.

You felt a leering pair of eyes track your movement as you passed them, your heart beat erratically as you prayed that you were only imagining things. The smell of smoke filled your nose, but you refused to give away any indication that you had noticed the men. You were five feet past them and beginning to lower your guard when you felt it. An unfamiliar hand grabbed your shoulder, and your heart jumped up to your throat.

There was no time to check whether the hand was hostile or not, so you reacted instantly, whipping around to slam your elbow into the outstretched arm. It was the big man, who grunted in surprise and let go of your shoulder instinctively. You took the split second to start running, but your meager attack did little to deter such a well built man, and he grabbed you by the waist, dragging you as you screamed.

You thrashed and thrashed, kicking and punching with very little force behind it. Your brain ran on overdrive, and in a last ditch effort, you managed to yank out the metal hair clip in your hair. It wasn’t sharp, but it did have a blunt pointed edge, and as your long hair fell out of its bun, you slammed the clip into the man’s thigh.

It broke through the skin, you could feel it and hear it as the man howled. Without missing a beat, you rammed it into the same spot again, and his hold on your waist loosened. Moving around, you stabbed his leg one more time before you managed to slither away, wasting no time as you bolted as fast as you could.

A sharp pain caused you to shriek; you had forgotten about the second person who finally decided it was time to get involved. He caught the ends of your long hair, and with a harsh tug, he yanked you to the ground, your hands scraping along the rough pavement.

“I have to give it to you,” the man sneered as you scrambled to regain your bearings, “You weren’t as easy as I thought you would be.”

As he thought? Was he waiting for you? You didn’t even know who he was! Your brain was woozy from adrenaline, and your thoughts ran a mile a minute.

“I don’t think I’ve seen anyone fight Yekwon like that,” the man sounded mildly intrigued, as if studying a surprising science experiment, “And since he’s over there moaning like a bitch, I guess I’ll have to return the favor for him.”

Without warning, a foot slammed into your stomach and you gasped for air, the pain spreading all over your body as you curled around yourself. Something was definitely bruised or cracked or broken, and you couldn’t hold the tears that spilled, every breath you took sending a wave of shock from your abdomen.

You just wanted it to end. The fight had left you, and when the man pulled you back up on your feet using the back of your collar, you could only struggle half heartedly. He seemed displeased that you kept your head down, trying desperately to avoid eye contact, and he pulled your hair backwards, forcing you to look at him.

“I have to admit, you’re pretty cute,” In any situation, the man would have been relatively good looking, but all you could see was a monster that you couldn’t escape, “I can see why he likes you.”

The smile on his face turned manic, the hand tangled in your hair moved like a flash, slapping you so hard your face went numb, “You shouldn’t waste your time with the likes of him,” he sounded sad, “I’m much better company, don’t you think-?”

“Really? Assaulting random girls on the streets,” you could almost cry because you knew that voice. You were sure it was him, even though the man’s body blocked you from his sight, “Damn, Minhyuk, you just keep lowering my expectations.”

“You insult me,” Despite being caught, Minhyuk’s voice rang gleefully, his grip going back to your hair as he swung you into view, “Do you think I have that much time on my hands?”

You’ve seen Hyunjin angry before. You’ve seen when his innocence is overcome by the darkness in his heart. You’ve seen the many faces of Hyunjin that he had when his walls were up and armed. But the moment the realization hit him that it was you, Hyunjin had never looked more utterly terrifying.

“Shocked?” Minhyuk laughed, unaware of Hyunjin’s change in attitude as he lapped up his own small victory, “Did you really think you could fuck with my business without some payback?”

“You hit her.”

Hyunjin’s absolute calm was unsettling, causing shivers down your spine as you watched Hyunjin fall deeper and deeper into his own rage. The light in his eyes had faded, and was replaced with a look of cold fury. He stared at you, growing angrier with every wound he counted.

A moment passed and a whirl of black flew at you. The grip on your hair immediately disappeared as Minhyuk was suddenly thrown back by a bullet-like punch to the face. You rolled away, taking cover on one side of the street, watching as Hyunjin destroyed Minhyuk one punch at a time.

“You fucking hit her,” he was snarling now, grabbing hold of Minhyuk’s shirt and slamming him against the wall. In vain, the man tried to fight back, but a Hyunjin pushed over the edge wasn’t someone you could just beat.

Jisung was right. Hyunjin could pack a punch.

A chilling crack cut through the air as he snapped the man’s wrist with a deliberate force, “You don’t get to fucking touch her with your filthy fucking hands!”

Minhyuk fell to the floor, whimpering in pain, and the burly man stood farther away, his hand still clutching the wounds that continued to leak blood onto the ground. He stared at Hyunjin with a mix of hatred and fear, but didn’t make any moves to attack him.

Hyunjin, after assessing the situation and knowing that the fight was over, ran to your side, his hands hovering over your face, but too afraid to touch you, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault, fuck.”

Your heart couldn’t stop racing as you tried to control your breathing, “It’s fine,” you panted, a hand over your chest, “I’m fine.”

You didn’t notice the broken smile as Hyunjin repeated your words softly, “Yeah, you’ll be fine, I promise.”

As gently as he could, he pulled you up, swing his leather jacket over your shoulders as he maneuvered you onto his back. You instinctively buried your face in the crook of his neck as he murmured with the softness he’d only ever give to you, “Let’s patch you up at my place.”

Before he turned the corner away from the alley, he addressed the Minhyuk once more, his voice coming out as a low, frightening snarl, “If you so much as breath near Y/N again, I’ll break more than just your wrist.”

viii.

You must’ve fallen asleep at some point, because when you finally realized where you were, Hyunjin was already setting you down delicately on his couch. Even with his efforts to be as gentle as possible, every movement caused you pain, and you bit your lip to avoid crying out. Taking his bulky leather jacket off your shoulders, Hyunjin absorbed the sight of your unseemly wounds.

His jaw clenched tightly with every bruise, every scratch that he saw, and he tore his eyes away from your body before he’d actually erupt in fury.

“I’ll grab some supplies,” Hyunjin spoke softly, trying his best not to startle you, “Let me know if you need anything.”

Your instincts urged you to respond, but you couldn’t even expend the energy to nod, much less say anything. At the corner of your eye, you caught the helpless expression on Hyunjin’s face and your insides turned. The moment he was out of sight, your hand crept up to your stomach, which was rippling with low currents of pain. You gently felt around, and something was definitely bruised.

Hyunjin walked back into the living room, freezing when he saw the pained expression on your face as you clutched your stomach.

“Did he,” the boy gripped the bandages in his hand tightly, “did he touch you there too?”

You shook your head, trying to ignore the pain, “No, but he kicked me pretty hard.”

“He kicked you,” Hyunjin repeated, his expression growing murderous, “I should’ve killed him.”

“Don’t. It’s just bruised, anyway,” you dismissed his worries, since Hyunjin didn’t sound like he was joking.

Hyunjin didn’t look like he was convinced, but he let it slide for now. As the anger died down, he seemed to shrink in confidence. He avoided your eyes, gently starting to disinfect the multitude of scratches that marred your legs. You stared at him as he worked, your brain moving sluggishly as you tried to decipher his silence.

He had begun methodically, obviously having cleaned injuries before. It made you wonder about the disaster that was Hyunjin’s bandages on his knuckles, especially since he seemed to know exactly what to do. As he made it to your arms, though, you noticed that Hyunjin had gradually started trembling. It was slight at first, his hand shaking as he wrapped a particularly nasty cut on your elbow, but as he worked down to your palms, it became rather alarming. You tried to catch his expression, but the long black hair hid his face from your view.

Hyunjin’s movements began to grow less steady as his hands began to grow out of control, and that was when you pulled yourself out of your trance-like state. Closing your fingers over the hand that was currently dabbing alcohol over your palm, you prodded gently, “Hyunjin, are you okay?”

The boy froze, his hand tensing in your grasp. You were beginning to worry that he had stopped breathing when he finally spoke, his voice hoarse and defeated, “God, I really don’t deserve you.”

Your heart jumped as you frowned, “What are you talking about?”

“It’s my fault. This is all my fault,” Hyunjin said brokenly, “Minhyuk found you because of me. Minhyuk targeted you because of me. He fucking lay his hands on you,” his breath hitched as even the mention of the incident sent his blood boiling, “because I was too selfish to let you go.”

You could only listen with your eyes wide as you felt Hyunjin clutch your hand like a lifeline.

“I always knew I would never be able to move forward from my past,” he started, “Even after Chan, even after clearing much of my name on files, I realized that it was hopeless, because no one will ever really forget my actions.”

“Chan told me to be careful, told me that spending so much time with you would put you in danger,” Hyunjin said quietly, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb, “But how could I stay away when you’re the one person in the world that actually makes me want to keep on living?”

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you couldn’t even spend time to mull over what essentially was an indirect confession, too busy trying to understand what Hyunjin was trying to get to, “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” he said earnestly, finally looking at your directly as if trying to convey his sincerity, “I know you don’t think that’s true, but you mean more to me than anyone else in the universe. I’m not lying, Y/N, please understand—I need you to believe me, please—“

“Okay, okay, I believe you,” your unoccupied hand buried itself in Hyunjin’s hair as you rubbed his scalp placatingly because Hyunjin had begun to grow desperately frantic.

He leaned into your touch, as if it brought him a sense of comfort that nothing else could in comparison, “I thought it was fine,” he whispered, “I’m with you all the time anyway, I could protect you if something happened. I was so fucking stupid, and the one day I couldn’t make it in time to walk you home, you got hurt.”

You hummed to show that you were still listening, your hands continuing to massage through his soft locks in an effort to calm him down.

“I’m so jealous of Jisung,” Hyunjin confessed suddenly, catching you off guard, “He can spend time with you so comfortably, and you two are so close, I hate that I’ll never be able to understand you the way he does.”

“Jisung and I understand each other due to circumstances,” you agreed slowly, “But we don’t have to live similar lives to understand each other, Hyunjin. Don’t you think we’re connected by something else?”

Hyunjin opened his mouth to reply before shutting it immediately, his eyes exposing his hesitation. When you gazed at him questioningly, he steeled his nerves, and spoke the words that had been threatening to burst out of his chest for the last three months.

“I’m in love with you.”

Your jaw went slack, “Y-you’re—what?”

“I’m in love with you,” Hyunjin repeated more definitively, but his voice was tinged with a sort of resignation, as if he had completely accepted that his confession wouldn’t be reciprocated, “I have been for months.”

“But—you never,” you struggled to get your words out as, “you always pulled away from me whenever we started to get closer. You’re so clingy with everyone else but you always avoid me.”

Hyunjin chuckled, “Y/N, if I let myself fall, I’ll never be able to stop liking you.”

“And why is that a bad thing?”

“Because I can’t be in love with you!” Hyunjin said frustratedly, ”I’m too dangerous, too broken, too scared to treat you right. I’m not good for you, Y/N.”

“Why don’t I get to decide that?” you asked just as fervently.

Hyunjin flashed with hurt, “Stop phrasing it like that.”

You frowned, “Like what?”

“Like you love me.”

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you sighed, a smile peeking at the corner of your lips, “I can tell you with absolute certainty. I’m also in love with you.”

Hyunjin froze for a long, torturous moment before his eyes grew impossibly wide as he grabbed both your hands, “Really?” His voice sounded so innocent and so hopeful, and all you wanted to do was to wrap your arms around him and fall in his embrace.

“Really.”

Hyunjin leaned in closer towards your face, your foreheads touching and his hands delicately placed on your arms, “I’m worried that I won’t be good enough for you,” he murmured, “I’m scared that I’ll put you in danger. You deserve the world, Y/N, and I’d give it to you in a heartbeat, but I’m afraid that I won’t be able to.”

“I don’t need the world, Hyunjin,” you brushed his cheek as your face flushed a bright pink. He was so close, you could count his eyelashes and see every imperfection on his face, “I just want you to let me in.”

Hyunjin giggled, his breath fanning your face. Cupping your face with his hands, your lips were only millimeters apart when he answered, “Deal.”

As his lips pressed against yours with all the gentleness and love that Hyunjin held for you, your heart finally lost the weight you’d been carrying ever since you realized how far you’d fallen for him. And maybe, just maybe, you two loved each other enough to make this work.

#hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin imagine #hwang hyunjin scenarios #stray kids #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #my fics

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