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hygge-aika · 9 months

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Shitto 嫉妬

Pick me..choose me..love me.

note. reader has female pronouns.

sum. falling for an anonymous boy with sweet letters.

t/w. slight obsession. not proofread. bad story transitions.

w/c. I honestly don't know...

a/n. Hello hello! This is my first post..kinda. This is a semi collab with my best friend. Where we use a..bit of each other's ideas 👀. I'm using ayato because one. She stole my husband like omg 😒. (Check her out please, live laugh love @kzulemniii my pookie wookie bear) And second, because ayato is so amazing like 🥰. Anyways, just hope you could enjoy and have a great morning/afternoon/night!

Here she was, her sides pinned to the wall by the student council president. His pretty eyes locked on hers.

"Why...why him."

"Im here..so dont choose him..choose me, love me instead."

He says as his brows furrow from jealousy and envy.

Shitto.

...

She was a sucker for affection and sweet words, maybe because receiving such things was like getting presents as a kid on christmas mornings. It was rare. So of course when she recieved the note that contained such sugar words. It was over. She was already head over heels for this anonymous guy she didn't even know a single thing about.

It was pathetic, honestly.

How could you fall in love with someone you don't even know?

But she didn't mind that, she tried not to. This all felt like a sweet dream she didn't want to wake up to. So she'll keep reading those notes even if the words turn out to be empty and meaningless. Even if this was all just a joke in the end, atleast she could feel the slightest happiness from receiving such sweet words filled with affections.

...

As days pass she couldn't help but wonder...

Who wrote all these letters?

Who was behind all of it?

Maybe it was a classmate? a schoolmate? a batch mate?

Who knows.

At first, she wanted to let things as it is. She was willing to wait the admirer reveal who he was. But then, one day, she accidentally finds out who the secret admirer was.

...

You woke up earlier than usual and thought to just head to school early.

While walking down the halls to your locker, you spot a certain blonde sliding a letter inside your locker.

Thoma? The student council secretary?

Your eyes widen in shock.

It was him all this time? But how? They've never interacted much, so it was slightly confusing to why he'd find interest in her. But hey, who's judging?

Before he could spot her, she hid inside an open classroom. You wait for a few moments to pass and check to see if he was gone.

You look around just in case before heading to your locker again, opening it just to be sure.

The letter was there with its usual contents. Sugar- coated words and an end that says 'sincerely yours'.

Her heart was beating fast as her cheeks glow with a pink hue to them. What was she going to do with this information now..?

...

What to do?

Should she make a move or no?

But, why didn't he make a move first.

Oh wait, maybe he's shy..thats why.

Well...you can help with that ;)

So for the next few days you try to make conversations.

...

At first Thoma got confused and suspicious.

Frequent greetings and hello's when you see each other on the halls.

Flustered expressions.

Constant pink cheeks.

Fidgeting fingers.

Oh...oh.

Shoot.

Well looks like he'll have to report this to a certain someone while praying to the archons that he could survive after informing such information.

...

It's been a few weeks since you've started making a move on Thoma.

And you were sure that you were being painfully obvious about it...so why isn't he doing anything?

You decided to confront him.

Maybe he was just that dense.

...

You try to look for the blonde, and after minutes of looking, you found him near the cooking clubs' club room.

You head towards him and he notices you.

"O-oh hey-!"

"Thoma, I wanted to ask you something"

"Sure..what is it?" This time he was the one with fidgeting fingers.

"You're the one sending me those letters..right?"

His face went slightly pale.

"Letters?" He laughs nervously

"What are you talking abo-" before he could finish his sentence, he was cut off by a...certain someone.

"Thoma." He says with a stern voice.

The blonde turns around and spots the student council president. Ayato.

Ayato had his signature smile plastered on his face, but instead of looking friendly and approachable...it gave chills instead.

"A-ayato-"

"Nevermind that, we'll talk later. Thoma."

Ayato walks to your direction and gently grabs your arm, dragging you somewhere else. Leaving the blonde behind.

...

And now..here you are. Pinned to the wall by a jealous student council president.

"(Reader). Why.."

You both lock eyes.

"Why...why him"

Your eyes widen. What is happening, why is he like this?

"I'm here..so don't choose him..choose me, love me instead."

Your heart starts beating fast. Nobody has ever been like..this to you.

"I sent you those letters, I'm the one who wrote them. Every single word in that letter is from me."

He takes your hand and kisses it before placing it on his cheek.

Your face starts to heat up and your heart starts to beat faster than before.

"I'm the one who loves you that much..so will you accept my love..?"

Your eyes start to water and you nod.

He smiles and quickly wraps his arms around you before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"I love you" he whispers.

#genshin impact #kamisato ayato #genshin impact headcanons #ayato x reader #genshin imagines #genshin fluff #genshin hcs #mybestfriendisthirsty #delusional #Spotify #ayato smut #ayato × you #genshin smut

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sprintingnight · 2 months

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fake asota d&d post simulator

🐈 bloomingflowers Follow

yeah okay i feel like everyone's overreacting over the blood in the hallways. missing students aren't exactly a problem, people drop out of school all the time. it's literally not a big deal

🎵 snakefreak Follow

didn't you get a callout post a few months ago for getting caught eating a human arm in the girls bathroom

🎵 snakefreak Follow

whof the fuck is knoucking at my dorm room entrance in the middle of the night .

427 notes

🐕 chickengirl Follow

excuse my language but i don't know how the FUCK to get out of this ice maze???????? any experts know what to do when your head starts spinning and you cant see right??? i think the reflections did some shit to me

⚔️ knightonpatrol23 Follow

op have you considered looking up the effects of low iron

🐕 chickengirl Follow

hold on i will in a second there's this weird crunching noise in the room ahead

🐕 chickengirl Follow

by the blight and the bane this can't be happening

#THE FUCKING MAYOR??? #hen.txt

2,674 notes

☘️ liadons Follow

does anyone know the best fertilizer for my venus flytrap? im not too sure how to keep its roots healthy while also giving it the flies it needs.

🐈 bloomingflowers Follow

where is my rock rael

☘️ liadons Follow

what the fuck? how did you find my tumblr?

🐈 bloomingflowers Follow

give it to me rael

🐈 notheath Follow

give it to me rael

☘️ liadons Follow

please stop harassing me. this prank isn't funny. im going to report you to staff.

🐈 notheath Follow

how resistant are you to fire attacks

23 notes

☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow

Hello, students of Alamaz. I know we're concerned about the rampant disappearances, and reports of some of our students coming back to school covered in blood, but there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Please remain calm during your stay here and make sure to lock your dorm rooms if you feel the need to.

☘️ liadons Follow

hey op arent you the one with the corpse pile in her basement

☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow

i have access to your student files, home address, family information, and authority over your brother, rael liadon

☘️ liadons Follow

EXCUSE ME

5,972 notes

🐈 bloomingflowers Follow

hey guys sorry abt the absence i was in jail for a bit :/

📚 bookworm87 Follow

how the fuck do you land yourself in jail????? arent you like. your bio says youre 16, what the hell did you do?

☘️ liadons Follow

dont ask stupid questions

🐕 chickengirl Follow

dont ask stupid questions

🎵 snakefreak Follow

dont ask stupid questions

#eboblogs #i hope nobody notices when bookworm87 mysteriously stops posting

50 notes

🐕 chickengirl Follow

that girl down by the interrogation station was pretty nice, i wonder if i can get in contact with her again :)

🐈 bloomingflowers Follow

🎵 snakefreak Follow

im sorry catboy did you think i was the only one to get my crush swept away by some fucking golden retriever girl. the reckoning is upon you and if you think youll be spared its not going to happen.

🐕 chickengirl Follow

please get off my post

#hen.txt #i swear i need to like block these two off my blog or something #every time there's a blow up in my notifs #it's always them.

5 notes

☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow

im so hungry i could eat a

☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow

well

☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow

i shant say

📚 studentswag Follow

um. my classmate went missing about an hour or two before this was posted

#....this cannot be connected i think im going insane

563 notes

📚 studentswag Follow

alright this needs to be settled

#if youre already initiated you cant vote #your bias will show lmao #looking at a certain student whos name starts with d #and ends with aemus

7,836 notes

🌕 mooncrying Follow

i miss my home so fucking much. why couldnt things have stayed the same? why couldnt i be happy? it cant end like this for me.

🐈 bloomingflowers Follow

have you considered getting used to it

🌕 mooncrying Follow

I WATCHED YOU KILL MY DAD

#im so FUCKING SICK OF TABAXI!!!!!!!!! #ESPECIALLY THIS ONE!! #why are we giving heath a platform like #i know its "funny" to "observe him in his enclosure" #but hes gone TOO FAR!!

30 notes

#fret post #fake post #unreality #cw unreality #unreality cw

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astronomicalcandy · 4 months

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Kimetsu no Yaiba Stage Play Act 4: Entertainment District Infiltration report

10 December 2023, 18:00 show, Tokyo Dome City Hall

Went on a getaway to Japan right after internship ended and watched kny stage play bcus it’s my current fixation (especially Tengen 😭)

The report will mostly be comments on the actors’ singing and acting because I assume everyone has watched entertainment district arc but I’ll just write whatever is fitting with the event

Report with pictures of what I could get (not much) under cut

1. Arrived at Tokyo Dome City Hall from Roppongi after lunch with friend and went to the Tokyo Revengers Last Line exhibition at Roppongi Mori Tower around 4:30 pm bcus the show I bought starts at 6 pm and queue opens at 5. I arrived early to exchange my online ticket with a physical one (this is required and was mentioned early in the website upon purchasing the ticket)

2. Lined up and redeemed my ticket. Went inside to find my area seat written in the ticket (balcony 1, row 7, seat 79) and at this point I was conflicted if I should buy merch first or just wait until the end 😭😭😭😭😭 I‘ve never been to this place before so I went to look for my seat first. They don’t let you in until 15 minutes before show starts so we had to wait at the lobby

3. While waiting for the show to start, I gave out my muscle mice stickers that I just cut and wrote a small message at the back last night to the people that sat beside me. A seat to my left were two lovely couple from Canada. They reached out to me on Instagram a couple of days after the show 💕 and a seat to my right were two friends that went to see the show together. They were lovely as well 💜 I’m so happy that people seem to like the stickers

4. Before the show starts, they let us take pictures but not videos of the stage. It’s super pretty!!!

I love that they decided the ensembles to come out, walk around and interact with each other. Like a real entertainment district

5. The show starts with an opening number from all of the casts. The story starts from when Tengen captured Aoi and another butterfly mansion helper to help him with his mission. That scene was showed through a screen. THEN BAM TENGEN MY BELOVED?!!!??! he’s so… he really is flashy in real life I fr couldn’t take my eyes off him 😭😭😭😭 OK SEE u know Tengen’s headband right? When the spotlight hits, it shines and dazzles a lot I’m so. IDK LIKE IM SPEECHLESS I GUESS never thought it would look that way (ITS PRETY) he also runs with his arms behind he’s so cute 😭💙 stage play Tengen ponytail is longer than manga/anime and that made him look cute too… (u can tell that I just looked at him whenever he’s on stage HAHAAH)

6. Sending off the Kamaboko team to work! Tengen in his yukata… pretty… the wig he wore for both uniform and yukata is really soft??? Like when he runs, his hair bounces ☁️ anyway, Kamaboko team so funny I love them sm 😭🫶 everyone clapped to Zenitsu shamisen rush play! That was fun hehe

7. Muzan comes in to see Daki. The song that the actor sang was pretty catchy and his voice is sooooo so GOOD!!!!!! Genuinely speechless. The scene where okami confronts Daki was so cool. Yknow that Daki flew above and dropped her from a height right? They used the screen to show that she was in the sky and when she dropped okami, the background showed those rush lines when she falls. I think it’s a creative way to show that! This also was done similarly when Inosuke went chasing Daki’s obi after it captured Makio in her room. Inosuke was actually running in the same spot but facing different directions along with the background. Making it look like he’s running chasing the obi in the walls

8. Ooohhhh the scene where Tengen came from behind the owner asking him about Warabi Hime’s whereabouts was so 👁️🫦👁️ then moved to when Inosuke calling the muscle mice to bring his nichirin. THE MUSCLE MICE REAL AND THEY TALK HAHAGAHSJJF yea they had 2 ensembles in black with muscle mice on their hands on the floor bringing Inosuke’s nichirin 😭😭😭😭 IT WAS SO CUTE?!!?! The song Koinatsu sang when Tanjiro is leaving the brothel was really nice ;;; bittersweet bcus she’s also leaving for someone that is willing to marry her but she’s also worried for the people she’s leaving behind the brothel 😔

9. The scene when Tengen found Hinatsuru ill and gave her an antidote… god I wish that were me… it might be just me liking the character too much but it somehow feels different in stage play than when ure reading the manga/watching the anime. Moved to Inosuke getting underground finding the obi’s nest of victims. The obi with people inside were shown through the screen. Inosuke spins while waving his swords around to cut and free the victims. There were ensembles in black moving the obi around. Very pretty! Like those gymnasts with ribbons!!! THE SCEEEENEEEEEE THE SCENE WHEN TENGEN COMES AND MET UP WITH SUMA AND MAKIO AAWHWHABWJEJFN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🫶🫶🫶 god I wish that were me!!!! (2) Tengen patting their heads was the cutest 😭💕

10. The fight scenes for a stage play were executed very well by using extra ensembles and the screen at the back. So, Tanjiro fighting Daki. Nezuko woke up and fought her. She beat Daki up and went berserk. Tanjiro sang a lullaby to calm her down and there they were, the mom with little Nezuko at the back as demon Nezuko reminiscence the past. Tanjiro actor’s singing is so good… I could listen to him sing all day 😳

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The show then entered 20 minutes break and continued with the second half. I took the chance to buy merch at this time lol

Only able to get Tengen pin and the others were mostly dupes of Inosuke, Daki and Obanai… planning to sell them soon 😭

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11. Gyuutaro appeared from Daki’s back. I love the Shabana sibling actors so so much??? 😭😭😭 they were soooo good acting as the demons!!! I couldn’t get enough. Honestly when Gyuutaro uses his sickles, it kinda look like crab waving its claws… 😭 one of Gyuutaro’s moves was his spinning blood move right? The ensembles in black come out with props spinning it around like those spinning blood move. It was so cool I was so amazed by that lmao Gyuutaro’s singing was top notch 👌👌👌 my absolute fav

12. Y’all… the scene when Hinatsuru came to shoot her kunais at Gyuutaro and everything went slo-mo, they really went slo-mo 😭 when Gyuutaro grabbed Hina by the face… that stirred something in me ngl at that moment came the flashback to when Tengen tells his wives to value their lives first then him, that song was cute. I felt the impact more during stage play. He really loves his wives equally and very much 💙💜🧡 Tengen’s siblings also appeared on stage during the flashback. Definitely didn’t expect that at all! It was very nice

13. Moving on to Kamaboko vs Daki. They made it into a number and while Inosuke was singing, Daki was at the back dancing 💃 I swear I love her so much. They made the stage play so funny and entertaining 😭👏 when Inosuke successfully cut Daki’s head, they had her actor wrapped in black cloth and Inosuke was holding it instead of just a dummy head. Inosuke then said we’re gonna run far now to Daki which wasn’t in the original and he said that so that Daki actor would be ready to run. Everyone in the hall laughed at that 😭😭😭😭😭😭

14. I can’t quite remember well the fight scenes but Tengen still had his left eye and arm fighting Gyuutaro until the end lol the fight with Gyuutaro and Daki until both of their heads were cut off were intense 🫨 lots of flashing lights and stuff were everywhere. It was cool

15. The Shabana siblings’ laid under rubble to hide their bodies so that only their heads could be seen. Gyuutaro’s past was so heart wrenching to watch. Demon Gyuutaro was even there to see his kid self being bullied and abused, demon Gyuutaro tried to stop those people away but he was just looking at his memory so the rocks still hits his kid self AND GOD THAT WAS SO PAINFUL TO WATCH. He hugged his kid self aa… demon Gyuutaro was also there to see his sister being burnt alive… AGAIN… 😭 I can’t get those scenes out of my head. It was so good, I cried along with everyone else ;;;; the part where kid Gyuutaro tried to call for help for his sister, demon Gyuutaro joined in the line and that made me welled up so badly 😭😭😭😭😭

16. In manga/anime, Daki changed to her kid self but in stage play, she was in her demon form when she begged to her brother to let her follow him. Gyuutaro carried Daki on his back to hell :( they finally cut off Tengen’s hand during the aftermath 😭😭😭 Suma actor was so cute when she yelled at Nezuko for burning her husband alive LMAOAOAAO

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Show ended, everyone clapped for the casts and ensembles. Standing ovation and the casts came out for a short comment. The time slot that I went to was the last day and last show

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My thoughts/comments

Everyone acted in character and tried to be as close as possible to source. It was such an amazing experience 😭👏 this was actually my first time went to see a stage play so I didn’t have any expectations at all.

If you guys like a series and have the chance to go for their stage play, please go!!

I was genuinely 50/50 at first bcus I know I did this for my stupidly big fixation on Tengen. My friend who’s studying there really liked BSD watched the stage play live online and she really recommended me to go for it. I’m glad I went to watch it honestly 😭

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #stage play #kny stage play #Uzui Tengen #Tengen Uzui #Daki #Gyutaro #Kamado Tanjiro #Hashibira Inosuke #Agatsuma Zenitsu #mio spittin fax #mio Japan trip autumn 2023

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tohsri · 10 months

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warnings: cheating, angst to fluff to smut, double penetration, reader described as female, oral (male and female receiving), recording sex tapes ig, unprotected sex (always use protection kids), a lil spying gojo, characters may be ooc, virgin reader because a/n: honestly im so tired but i have to keep up udgdbw I barely managed to post it before 11pm eihdjwbdh wc: fuck the word count

you looked so good in that flower patterned sundress, which barely stopped above your knee. they watched as you kneeled down to place the red and white potted roses on your porch. how could you look so good, even if it was doing something as simple as that? the white-haired man stared at you from his window, admiring how pretty his neighbour was. he daydreamed about how good you would look in a cute blouse, to even laced lingerie. he couldn't stop staring at how the dress hugged your curves so perfectly, only to frown when your husband opened the door. he watched as the scene played out in front of him; he ignored your greeting, scolded you about 'how the plants are getting in his way' (even if they weren't blocking the path), even knocking over an empty pot without care. gojo scowled at him, but softened up seeing your slightly worried and sad expression. he knew you were happy with him before, but now he acted so coldly towards you. only thinking about it made his blood boil, so much that he didn't notice his friend geto standing behind him. "is it y/n's husband?" gojo simply nodded. geto had also noticed the change in your husband's attitude, seeing how cruel he was treating his wife now. "he didn't even bother to say goodbye before leaving." gojo mumbled under his breath. it all went downhill for you when you saw your own husband on the news, a reporter called out your husband for cheating on you. there was a blurred picture of the tape's recordings showing evidence and proof of him cheating too. both geto and gojo were livid at the news, but at the same time they weren't surprised. but what they were surprised about is when you came knocking at their door, seeking comfort from your two neighbours. you were crying on geto's shoulders, seated on the couch. they were careful to respect your boundaries, and kept listening to whatever rant you had about your husband, despite them knowing about it. gojo looked at the bright screen still showing the news, the volume at 0 when they saw you come in. instead of shutting it off, an idea sparked inside of him. geto gently pulled you off of him to make some tea to calm you down, and gojo followed to tell him about his thought. "do you think it would be a good idea to record a sex tape, to get back at y/n's cheating scum of a husband?" gojo whispered. "the fuck? no. the last thing she needs to do is fuck her neighbours just to piss her ex-husband off." he responded quietly. "trust me, we'll ask her, and if she's uncomfortable, we'll leave her alone." he knew geto also liked you, and despite his mind telling him to hit satoru on the head and get it together, it wouldn't hurt to try. after explaining the idea to you, you were left shocked at how lewd it would be. geto was already expecting you to leave at how they could've offended you, but you looked away with a flustered face. "i-is that really okay?" "yeah, just trust us on this. wouldn't it be nice to see his face after?" gojo quickly responded, planting his hand on your waist. -------- your legs were spread out while you laid on your back. gojo eating up your wet cunt while you sucked on geto's balls. your eyes rolled back just from how well he tonguefucked you, unable to focus properly while lazily stroking geto’s cock. you couldn’t take his entire nutsack in your mouth, resulting in a sloppy performance.

geto was much more calmer than he usually is though, especially since he didn’t mind how fucked out you were already. all the blame coming from you was projected onto gojo. he ran his fingers through your hair, whispering sweet praises while grunting. you couldn't even look in the direction of the camera. you didn't intend to, anyway. you were too focused on the pleasure. geto's thick cock was constantly twitching, edging himself as beads of sweat ran down his face. it felt so difficult not to cum when you were sucking his balls so well. just when you were about to have your 3rd orgasm his tongue was pulled away, and you were left whining. the sweet innocent look on your face, begging for more was just so pleasureful for geto to see. gojo flipped your body onto your stomach, and the two guys swapped places. geto's hand were placed on your waist, the other rubbing at your clit sensually. it glided up and down your slit, smirking at how wet it is.

geto was gentle, unlike gojo who immediately shoved his tongue inside of you. he started to finger with one, moving into two fingers, then three. he was aware of how thick his cock was, and he was careful to make sure you were feeling good.

once he felt like it was good enough, he slid his cock inside of you slowly, grunting at how tight it squeezed his cock. he wanted to start pounding into your tight cunt right away but he kept his mind busy on the fact that you were a virgin.

geto was busy moving his hips back and forth at a slow pace, while gojo was immediately facefucking you with no mercy. after such a long time (of admiring you from afar) he had finally gotten to see his cock completely devoured by your mouth, smirking at how much you gagged and choke whilst his long dick hit the back of your throat.

once he got the signal that you were ready, he started to thrust slightly faster. eventually he couldn’t help but rut his hips against yours, lost in pleasure to care about anything else. gojo was feeling good as well, as the vibrations from your moans sent his cock twitching in your mouth.

you were really fucked out by now, the only thing you could hear was their faint grunts and the squelching sound coming from your pussy. you could see white spots clouding your vision, completely letting go of your reality.

gojo turned to face the camera, which he picked up and filmed the way he facefucked you. your eyes were tight shut, but when they opened they looked back up at the camera lens, with the most fucked out yet innocent eyes he had ever seen.

gojo threw the phone to geto which he successfully caught in time, making it face downwards so it can film his cock sliding in and out of you. his thrusts were so powerful, making your legs tremble and your body move back and forth with the amount of force he put.

without warning, geto spurted his thick cum right into your hole, thrusting a few more times to fuck his cum back into you. he didn’t plan on letting go until he had finished stuffing your hole with his sperm. he finally pulled out after a moment, showcasing his thick cock with both of your cum mixed together.

“take the phone, satoru.” he gently placed the phone on the bed, but was waiting for satoru to cum first. once he finally filled her throat with his sticky cum, he took a moment to catch his breath and pulled his cock out. her adorable fucked out expression, with a little bit of saliva dribbling down the corner of her mouth, it was enough to get him turned on again.

gojo took the phone up and continued the recording, “should we fuck y/n until she passes out, or until the morning comes?” he asked with a smirk. geto thought for a moment, then pulled you onto his lap, letting gojo see her jiggling breasts. “let’s go in. both at once, let’s stretch out her hole so that only both of us can use it. only us two.” he growled and groped your breasts.

he smirked at the idea and positioned himself at the front. his cock was curved, resting on his stomach. geto had already put his in, now you were waiting for gojo. the idea frightened you, but seeing how you were so needy, after being introduced to the world of pleasure, you didn’t feel so worried about it.

you watched nervously as gojo carefully slid into your hole. your expression was nervous, tongue sticking out slightly as your eyes were kept fixated on the view below. gojo handed the phone to you, “here, hold it for us darling.” he smiled and once he was fully in, you felt like you were on the verge of splitting in half. gojo’s cock was kissing your cervix, but geto’s stretched your cunt out so well.

“i-i’m ready.. can move n-now..” your breath hitched, and gojo started to move. it was soon after geto decided to follow on, moving in a rhythm with gojo.

the cum and saliva was enough lubricant for both of them to fit inside you, and it fit perfectly. their cocks were wrapped around your tight cunt, taking the shape of their two cocks. you were taking both of them so well, and your hips started to move on their own. you didn’t even know how, but you were lost in your own world that you didn’t notice yours and their body moving in rhythm.

gojo was already thrusting roughly into you, rubbing your clit with his thumb. while geto was having his cock warmed inside of you, he found it amusing how you were moving your hips on your own. he decided to thrust up a little, grunting at the tight space.

on the other hand, gojo was incredibly impatient. he kept thrusting repeatedly, releasing his semen inside of you. he wanted to cum with you, but he was completely pussydrunk at this point. he knew he had gotten multiple orgasms out of you from just moving anyway. that’s how sensitive you were.

geto gently moved your chin towards him, forcing you to face him. he kissed you so passionately and gojo couldn’t help but point the phone towards you two, moving his hips upwards to get more of this addictive feeling.

the real fun was when both of them started to thrust at the same time, and now you were seeing stars instead of blacking out. how were you able to have this much stamina, taking two cocks in your hole at the same time? maybe you just wanted the feeling to keep going, so you didn’t miss out on all the fun.

“mmh cummin’ mnghh!” you moaned, biting your lip. you tasted the faint iron on your tongue, and you knew that your lip was bleeding right away. geto’s teeth bit your neck, leaving a bruise and some marks.

you lost track of how many times you had come, or squirted even. you didn’t even know that was possible with you, and that meant you felt a lot of pleasure just to squirt. gojo and geto didn’t hold back at all, and you swore they were going to rearrange your guts because of how rough they were with your fragile body.

now you were starting to lose consciousness. your eyelids were falling, and you felt like you had no energy. your moans were soft and out of breath, before squirting another time on both their cocks.

you watched as gojo’s expression changed and felt geto’s grip on your waist tighten. it had to be hinting that they were close. geto came slightly later than gojo, as they emptied their load inside of you completely. now your stomach felt full, but gojo make it worse by pressing it gently. drops of come leaked out of your pussy, soaking the bed further with all of your sweat and cum.

their faces were the last thing you saw before you passed out.

--------

they got ahold of your phone and pressed your finger onto the screen, unlocking your phone with the fingerprint.

your head was rested on geto’s lap, and your body was clean. geto washed you and helped you get changed while you were passed out. gojo was there to help out a bit as well.

he sent the recording to the contact named “my love” despite how much he hated it and wishes the contact number was his instead. the thumbnail of the video was focused on all three of you, which made him smirk. he ran his hands gently through your hair, thinking about what happened earlier.

geto was watching the video again when gojo ruined the moment by interrupting geto with another idea of his. “when she’s awake, do you want to do it again?”

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #satoru gojo #jjk fanfic #suguru geto #geto x reader #geto x you #geto suguru #geto x y/n #suguru geto x reader #suguru geto x you #suguru geto x y/n #suguru geto smut #gojou satoru x reader #gojou x reader

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aritamargarita · 2 years

Text

ATTITUDE || 015

that last minute decision? well. this may come as a surprise to you all……..but i did add a little sexual content in this one. i actually was able to fit some in there so.. SURPRISE! i will signify where it starts with ** and the spacer is where it ends if you don’t want to read it. it’s also kinda quick for a reason lol

i hope y’all like it i was kinda nervous. i legit don’t know what im doing.🧍‍♀️this is my first time don’t scream at me

WELCOME….TO….MONDAY…NIGHT…..ATTITUDEEEE!!!!!

youuu guys knoww the drilllll! you know ‘sweet but psycho’ by ava max really set the tone for me.....”you’re just like me, you’re out your mind”??? oh yeah RENT WAS DUE!!!!!

hope u enjoy this chapter i had a lot of fun writing it

YOU’RE STILL RUNNING on adrenaline! You and Trish hit backstage, spirits high and thrilled you two not only attacked Torrie, but are working together for the night. It’s going to be one hell of a Raw.

BACKSTAGE // 8:01 PM

“Trish!” You yell, turning over to her and shaking her shoulders. “That was great! My god, we really kicked her ass.”

She smiles at you. “It was! Did you see her face when I joined in?! Hilarious!”

“Listen, thanks a lot for coming on my show and helping out. I’ll be in your corner tonight, so I’ll see you later, okay?” You give her a thumbs up, heading further down the hallway towards your locker room.

Trish had your gratitude. It’s only right for you to pay her back. You’d do everything in your power to make sure that their team won.

But other than Trish’s match, you’ve got a lot to do tonight. Watch the Hardy Boyz…..accompany Austin to the ring….it’s a busy day! Makes you happy you’ve got something to do.

Vengeance is coming up and that means Austin would have to be in a series of matches in order to qualify and become the undisputed champion.

This isn’t good for your anxiety. You knew he was pretty good, but what if it went the other way around?! Nah, that couldn’t happen. He has to win.

As you made your way down, you notice Michael Cole interviewing RVD. You decide to pop up behind him and join in. “Hello, world!”

With your sudden appearance on camera, the crowd cheers. RVD gives a smile and shifts his Hardcore Title to his left arm, then slings his right around your shoulders. “Hey! It’s Miss WCW.”

You wonder if he didn’t remember your name..which would be a shame since you two teamed up not too long ago. “In the flesh! Nitro’s Golden Girl is reporting for duty.”

“What a surprise!” Michael, the interviewer exclaims. “I was just asking RVD his thoughts on the Undertaker attacking him so viciously the previous night. What’re your thoughts?”

For a moment, your mind drew a blank. You can’t remember Undertaker attacking him at all! Just so you don’t stand there in silence, you make something up on the fly. “I mean, it’s crazy! If you ask me, I think Undertaker is going through a midlife crisis or something. I mean, joining a biker club? I could’ve sworn he was all scary a couple of months ago!”

You didn’t know much about him right now, but you tried bouncing off of what you’ve seen so far.

RVD nods his head, his tone relaxed as ever. “That totally makes sense. No wonder why he got mad when I recommended him to use diapers.”

You cover your mouth on instinct. WHY WOULD HE EVEN RECOMMEND THAT?! That’s literally not what you meant at all.

He continues. “If you ask me, I think the Undertaker’s just all worked up because RVD—“

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on a second.” You could recognize that voice as Christian, who had his title on his shoulder as well.

“You’re saying that the Undertaker’s all worked up? And you,” He points to you. “You’re saying he’s going through some midlife crisis? Well let me tell you something, did you ever think it’s maybe because he gives more respect to Vince McMahon? Do you guys think you’re better than the Undertaker?”

Christian was getting a bit hostile. You hoped most of his irritation wasn’t towards you, but you still speak up anyway, Michael shifts the mic towards you. “Mr. McMahon never had my respect in the first place. It only makes things worse because of that match he put himself in to antagonize Trish Stratus. And if you want the truth, yes! I think I’m better than the Undertaker.”

RVD motions towards you. “You heard the lady. Besides, we’re gonna find out if I’m better than the Undertaker at Vengeance.”

The two of them stare each other down, but you take the opportunity to take the mic from Michael. “Can I see this?” You ask. He nods and hands it over. “Oooh, how about this you guys, since I heard the Undertaker isn’t here tonight, how about you two go against each other?”

Boom, you made the match card make sense. It was that easy. It’s not like the audience knew the card in its entirety anyway.

“For that hardcore title? Absolutely.” Christian wasn’t against it, in fact he was more than willing to prove himself to Vince. And with the hardcore title on the line? Hell yes.

“Sounds like a good idea.” RVD easily agrees, then lightly taps Christian’s title. “And how about we put that Euro-trash title on the line too?”

“I’m a genius!” You chime. “Title versus title? Hardcore and European?”

“My title? Ha! As if I’m going to lose this to you, RVD. I’m pretty sure neither of you know nothing about Europe!” Christian challenges. “What’s the capitol of Belgium?”

“Isn’t it Br—?” You’re about to answer...

…But RVD answers with no hesitation: “Waffle!”

You turn to look at him with a smile. God he’s stupid…but he’s hilarious. The crowd laughs at his response.

Christian shakes his head. “Are you serious? Do you even know what I’m talking about?”

“I think.” You say. “Why don’t you tell us the capital?”

“..Tch,” He scoffs, waving a hand. “I’m not telling you!” It made it very clear to the crowd that he had no clue what the capital was either. “Listen, I welcome any match, where it’s cool to use the Conchairto.”

Makes you think. Man, you need to be a commissioner or something, they’re missing out on a lot of opportunities here with your co-workers!

RAW IS WAR // 8:15 PM

Because of that segment, you had to literally run and change in the locker room. You’ve got a couple of minutes to be in gorilla and come with Team Xtreme to the ring.

As you were moving around, a black letter sticking out of your bag had caught your attention. You could spare 3 minutes to read this, so you walk over and pull it out.

‘Though our meeting was rudely interrupted, I find it apparent that you’re fit to be with me. You are unapologetically you, but it’s as if you’re being silenced.

I will set you free from the chains that you’ve been bound to. Find me in the shadows. A place where people discard things they have no use of.’ A place where one would find it disgusting.‘

— Quote the Raven, Nevermore.

And all of a sudden, you had less interest in the match you were supposed to come out for.

Who cares about the match anymore?

You wanted to know more about Raven. What he said at your anger management class really struck you. He even offered to free you.

Isn’t it about time you come with him?

You’re in no hurry to make it to gorilla anymore. A place where you could discard things of no use? A place where one would find it disgusting?

That had to be the trash. And to go even bigger, it must’ve been a dumpster. Normally, you’d be disgusted, but if it’s for Raven, you didn’t care. You didn’t care if he was beside it or inside it.

Who was on the match card again?

You couldn’t remember. All you cared about was going to find a dumpster. You quickly finish changing before heading outside the room. All you had in mind was heading towards the back.

You passed by quite a few of your coworkers, who seemed to be confused as to why you’re in such a hurry. The only person who was willing to stop you was Debra.

“[Name], sweetie,” She called, rushing over to you. “I’ve been looking for you. You and Steve told me class went well, but once I spoke to Doctor Smiley, he said it was a disaster! What happened?!”

You’re not sure what to say to her. It was one thing that you two lied, but your mind was focused on one and one thing only. “I don’t know.” You shrug.

“How do you not know?” She questioned. “And where’s Steve? You two should be ashamed of yourselves! I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.”

You mutter an apology. You’re wasting time when you could be out and about…. “I’ve gotta go.” You move past her, completely unaware that you bumped her out of the way.

And towards the back you go. There had to be a dumpster back there. You push open the door and shiver as the cold air hits you.

There’s some cars back here. You wonder if it’s any of your co-workers or any of the higher ups.

….Ugh, who cares. You mindlessly walk forward in search for your pursuer. You see nothing but most of the cars disappearing and the sight of an empty parking lot until…..

“What a pleasant surprise.”

The voice immediately makes you turn to the left, seeing none other than Raven sitting on the ground surrounded by trashcans and pieces of litter. It’s not a dumpster, but it’s definitely somewhere no one would go.

Perhaps you were wrong, but you didn’t care. You’re filled with glee. He’s all you cared about tonight.

“I didn’t expect you to show up.” His curly hair was covering most of his face and he made no effort to shake it out of the way. “Austin brutally beat me earlier tonight and I feel as if it was an attempt to keep you away from me.”

You agree. “I think so too.” But you don’t want to stay away from Raven. You never want to. “What were you talking about when you gave me that letter?” You kneel down to his level.

Raven says nothing at first, but there’s a smirk playing on the edge of his lips that you couldn’t see. “…Come closer.”

You do, and he finally moves his hair out of his face to get a better look at you. “I want to set you free.” He gets up and lightly pushes you down so he’s on top of you instead.

“I’ll show you the light, [Name]. You’ll let me, won’t you?”

Yes. You will. He’s helping you in more ways than one.

Raven leans in closer, hovering his lips above your own before moving to your ear. “I want you to repeat these words.” He whispers. “I am no bird…and no net ensnares me. I am a free human being with an independent will.”

You nod as he goes lower and focuses on your neck. “I am…” You hesitate once he kisses it, then starts to bite down. “I am no..bird…”

Raven moves his hand down carefully and lands right on the underside of your left breast. He doesn’t really grope you there, instead glides over and down to your navel.

“And no net ensnares—ah!” He bites you harder, almost enough to draw blood. “I-I am a human being…” You’re almost breathless at this point, unable to focus thanks to the man on top of you. “…with an in…dependent will.”

He latches his lips off of your neck. Just as you think he was going to say anything else, he crashes his lips into your own.

Him doing that hurt, a lot. But you didn’t care. You loved it. He pushes his tongue into your mouth forcefully, drool sliding down your chin from how haphazard it was. He swirled his tongue around yours and you could only think about him.

It’s the most messiest kiss you’ve had in your life and you wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. You can feel his hand slide down even further, right down into your underwear.

You push Raven off to catch some air, but he keeps his hand nearby your underwear. He takes the hint and returns his attention back to your neck. You run your tongue over your now swollen lips.

He’s muttering something under his breath, you can barely hear him with the ringing in your ears. You can feel him inch down towards uncharted territory and your stomach fills with butterflies as he slides your underwear to the side.

Is this really happening? Right here? Right now?

It started out soft, as he gently caressed your insides with his finger. It’s almost like he was testing the waters. Your ragged breathing only egged him on further. Slowly, he begins to move his finger in and out.

He raises his voice so you can hear him better.

“The human body is a mystery to me. I find it strange that even the simplest gestures…”

Detaching himself from your neck, he looks up towards you. For a second, he curls his fingers, then uncurls it. “…can get a reaction out of someone.”

Through your moans, you finally gather some strength to speak. “I’ve gotta….” Though your mind was on a swivel the entire night, you knew people would be looking for you. “Gotta…….”

Raven doesn’t allow you to finish your sentence, switching from one finger to two. “Fear not. Tonight, you can become apart of me.”

You’re just stuck moaning and panting on the ground. You hope no one can hear you, but it’s unlikely with how empty this area was.

Even so, he doesn’t give you the right to even finish. He snatches his fingers out, stopping as quickly as he started and gets off of you.

You lean up from your spot, dazed and completely in the clouds. As he licks his fingers clean, you stare at him with such an intensity that you think your eyes would fall out.

You think you’re in love.

RAW IS WAR // 8:35 PM

You’re still disheveled from earlier. Your clothes were wrinkled, your hair had gotten frizzy, and you’re still burning inside.

Holy shit.

You’re aching because he didn’t give you the opportunity to finish. You hope this feeling goes away. You refuse to finish yourself off anywhere near the show.

On the bright side…you’ve figured it out. Raven is your one true love. He’s everything you wanted and more. You felt like you had all the time in the world for Raven. That you could drop everything you’re doing for Raven. Raven. Raven. Raven. Raven.

That’s all you cared about right now.

A cold hand on your shoulder makes you turn around quickly. “What?!”

“Heeeey. No need to get defensive!” It’s Lita, who looked pretty concerned. “You okay? I was worried about you. You didn’t show up tonight and Jeff was disappointed.” She pauses to look at how messed up you look. “You look a mess…what happened?”

“….” You look at Lita, unable to think of a proper response. “I….no, I’m okay. Just fine. Just leave me alone.”

Your response surprises Lita. “Huh? You’re acting strange. You can tell me, you know. Was it Torrie? If—“

“No! Just—FUCK! Leave me alone!” You scream at her, wanting nothing more than to be left alone at the moment. Lita immediately shuts up as you give her one last glance and head down the hallway.

that was an experience.

really really hope u guys liked it because i lowkey wasn’t fond of it?!?!?! again i feel like it was because i kept reading it over and over but yeah. raven does things. he won. the night isn’t over either...we’ll find out what happens next monday!!!!!! also reader challenging undertaker indirectly ruh roh

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netherworldpost · 2 years

Note

okay, this will sound weird, but. im pretty sure that it was you to whom i sent an anon ask a year ago, i think, about how afraid i was about college and the major i picked - history - and how i was crying every day because i was anxious. and you encouraged me, and were very kind, and kind of. gave me hope.

WELL i am glad to report i am now a sophomore, mostly aced all my exams, went to visit oxford after winning an university-wide competition, and dug myself out of that depression pit. i have a part time job as a tour guide at beautiful castle, and i've successfully applied to study abroad for a semester next year:)) my fears are not completely gone yet. but ive just kept living, and believe it or not, i got better!!!

and i want to thank you for being so kind to me last year, and i want to tell anyone who's in a rough patch mentally, maybe going to college for the first time like i did, you can do it!!! IT WILL GET BETTER I PROMISE 💚💚💚💚

Your immediate mission is to solidify the memories of Where You Were Before and Where You Are Now.

You must crystalize this. Permanently. In your mind and/or on paper, notes, digital apps, whatever you use. Medium isn't important, message is all-important.

You did this.

You.

Folks helped, I'm happy to be counted among them, but you did this. And that must never be forgotten or shadowed or shared unfairly with anyone else.

For the rest of your life you are to remember this path that you took, from beginning to now, so in any time you doubt your ability, you have empirical proof "I did this intense, mighty thing, and therefore I can tackle whatever is in front of me."

Good luck

With everything that comes next

Good luck

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the-creative-crow · 6 months

Text

So I've had a few of my trans friends ask if joining the military to get started on HRT is worth it. And let me tell you, the short answer is hell no.

So no matter what, your command team can just deny you getting hrt. The reason being "believed impact on mission readiness" the main motivation behind thar is when beginning your hormones you are considered undeployable for 3 months. Basically you can't go anywhere where there isn't immediate mental Healthcare available.

I was lucky and went to a unit the is considered mission essential and non-deployable so it only took me about a month to get my hrt.

My friend in another unit is approaching his 3 year mark and still hasn't been allowed to begin transitioning. His is the more standard experience from what I know of.

Once your hrt is approved you can begin treatment immediately. Your expected to immediately socially transition on your off hours but you aren't allowed to socially transition at work.

You can not begin to socially transition at work until all your documents say your new gender. But your can't request the gender change until you have at least one year of "real-life experience"

The way around this is called an etp(exception to policy) there are 3 you can request.

1. Grooming standards.

2. Bathroom/locker room assignment

3. Fitness/weight standards

Regardless of what you request it has to be approved by the deputy chief of staff of the army.

So pretty fucking high up the chain. In fact my etp is the highest ranking signature I've seen on anyone's paperwork.

It took me a year and half to get my grooming standards approved. I've never met a trans person who got the other two approved.

By the time I got it approved I already had my gender marker changed in the state of Texas and on all my stateside paperwork, but not in the military yet. What this meant is, in non-military facilities I was female. But in military facilities I was male. This caused a lot of issues, not to mention my name and gender not matching across military id and drivers license.

By this point I had tits. Nothing crazy but enough to be clearly visible and you knew they were tits. But I still had to change in the male lockerroom. This resulted in a lot of sexual harrasment and assault that will stick with me for a long time.

It was another half a year before the military recognized my gender marker change and only the gender marker not my name. Finally I can use female facilities and not get sexually harrased. But now I can't use the bathroom or lockeroom without getting accusing looks. I've seen females I know well and I thought I was on good terms with just leave the female areas as soon as I enter. I'm not welcome there.

It was another 2 months to get my name change recognized but at this point I couldn't even be happy about it. Everyone I know locally knows me by my last name anyways. I'm a social pariah and not accepted in any group. People at work are scared of me, they think I'm unstable and will hurt them.

And im a lucky one. I'm at a unit that can make it through the Trans awareness training without a screaming match that might turn bloody. I'm at a unit where the leadership doesn't care that I'm transitioning. Trans soldiers stationed in the middle east "fall off buildings" and they have a little help. It's reported as an accident and not a murder.

Please, if your Trans and thinking about joining the military, don't. Do literally anything else because it can't break you the way the military will

#army #lgbtqiia+#trans soldier

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euniexenoblade · 4 months

Note

0, 7, 8!

(so happy to find you again I had no idea where you went 😭 hope you've been well!!)

(...not someone you know, just an old follower who admired you from afar a lot, hehe)

Staff nuked me and wont give me my blog back :< it happened while i was getting a massive influx of hate anons so im pretty sure i was mass reported for nothing

0: Height

6ft

7: Have tattoos?

I have a gender tattoo on my wrist that's from some old 90s anarchist zine about flowing between genders

8: Want any tattoos?

I crave more tattoos but I don't have solid ideas. I know I want to get like, an octopus or something tentacle related but i dont know what I want exactly. I've been thinking of getting a sword or knife tattooed on my inner arm. And of course the womb tattoo.

#ask games

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nowandthane · 9 months

Text

Snippet Sunday

it is still sunday somewhere in the world so. Was tagged by @daedrabait <3 thank you my dear. im normally too socially anxious to do these tag games but this one is pretty cool! so i will overcome the weird feelings.

gonna tag @mmmchimken @sillyliterature @ficbrish and anyone else who wants to do this! no pressure though <3

Rules: Revisit an old fic (or earlier chapters of your current WIP) and share a snip from:

Your first chapter

Your favorite chapter

Your most challenging chapter

Alternatively, if you don’t write longfic, feel free to share your one-shots. Provide as much or as little commentary as you want.

From Command Me to Love (i really wanted to do my current WIP but I don't really have enough chapters yet lmao)

First chapter (I'll be honest, I would there's so much I'd change about this cha[ter if I was rewriting. But I chose this bit because Aria's and Cassandra's friendship is pretty significant, but Aria never would've went near the Seeker if she hadn't been so desperate)

“Seeker, I have a request to make of you.

“What is it?” Cassandra asked.

“I have a son. He should be in Haven, or near to it, with his guardian Lara, an elven woman,” Aria told her. “Should anything happen to me, I need to know that they will be —” She inhaled sharply. “Will you see to it that they are conveyed safely to my parents in Ostwick?”

“I — yes, of course.” Cassandra considered her. “I apologise. I was not aware — did you not want to see them when we were in Haven?”

“I was not sure if you could be trusted with them then,” Aria said, shrugging. “But it seems you have honour, and I have little choice.”

Favourite chapter (chapter 42. yeah it's very near the end lmao but I remember the joy of writing this, the satisfaction of getting to this point, and how happy i was for the characters, so yeah)

“Mummy!” Aidan’s joyful shout rang out over the din of the crowd, which began to undulate, a wave of people turning to see what he had noticed. Cullen could feel Aidan buzzing with excitement. Unable to help his grin, unable to care about professionalism, he lifted the boy off his shoulders and handed Aidan over to Lara.

Cullen longed to join them as they bounded down the stairs hand-in-hand, the sea of people parting to allow them through, but he stayed standing with Aria’s other advisors. He watched as Aria noticed her family, how she sprinted towards them and the loving embrace the three of them ended in, the two women on their knees, on Aidan’s level. He so rarely saw Lara emotional, but even at this distance he could see the elf wipe away tears from her bright green eyes.

By the time the family relinquished their hold on each other, Aria’s companions had caught up to her. Cullen’s eyes tracked them, glad that none of them were hurt — though he’d had that report already, too. Solas was missing, as the messenger had also warned. The group of them made their way through the cheering people, Aidan in Aria’s arms, Lara beside her.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, her companions all stopped, and Lara as well. With a roll of her amber eyes, Aria shifted Aidan to one arm and grabbed Lara’s hand, throwing a smile at her companions before leading her family up the stairs. Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana all bowed before her as she stood before them.

“I could not have done this without you,” she said. “Thank you.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor,” Josephine said. Leliana nudged Cullen forward with a soft push to his shoulder.

He approached Aria, part of him desperate to touch her, part of him terrified to try in case this was a dream… But she walked right to him, unafraid, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. Cullen wrapped his arms around her and Aidan, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

The roaring of the crowd was overwhelming, but he was grounded now. He had her, and she was safe. She was here. Not a dream, nor a nightmare, but Aria.

“I love you,” he murmured into her ear. She said something in reply that he couldn’t catch over the din, but he felt her body shake with laughter. Aria smiled up at him, bright and joyous, and he didn’t need her words.

Her love was in her eyes.

Most challenging chapter (chapter 22, when they were in the fade. This was so difficult to write, but I’m happy with how it turned out. Chose this snippet because the others are a bit too graphic)

Her feet failed her, tangled, and Aria threw up the contents of her stomach as she fell to her knees.

“Shit, Prickly!” Varric exclaimed. She felt his hand on her back. Why? He should hate her. She should have stayed behind instead of his best friend. That was her duty. Aria knew it was her duty, and she had tried, but she feared dying. She feared it so much she just stood dumbly there and Hawke had pushed her aside, crying out a battle roar as she engaged the Nightmare in battle.

She will know no fear of death, for the Maker shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword.

And Aria had staggered out of the Fade, hating herself. She couldn’t die. She just couldn’t! Not without seeing Aidan one more time. She had been so fucking terrified at everything the Nightmare had made her witness, felt so much loathing for herself because she had to kill her family, her son — and she knew it wasn’t really them, but Maker forgive her, it had felt real. And she’d murdered them.

Aria shook with unshed tears, sobs barely contained. Solas grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her up.

“Not now, Inquisitor,” he said softly, leading her away. “You can’t break now.”

“Aidan…” Her voice was a barely audible rasp.

“I know. But people are watching,” Solas said quietly.

“Limp,” Cassandra ordered, pulling one of Aria’s arms around her shoulders. Aria did as commanded. It wasn’t hard — her entire body hurt.

And so her friends pulled her away from what was left of Adamant Fortress, hiding her weakness.

The one who repents, who has faith, unshaken by the darkness of the world, she shall know true peace.

Maker, Andraste, forgive me. Forgive my weakness, forgive my doubt. Forgive me.

Hawke, I am so sorry.

#dragon age #dai #da fanfic #command me to love #cullevelyan #arianwen trevelyan #aidan trevelyan #cullen rutherford #cassandra pentaghast #varric tethras #solas #my fics #tag games

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3cremepie3 · 2 years

Text

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐞

Armin 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇 𝒙 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

For the after you read angst collab and my HeartLand Attack On Titan first date series! @hanmacide @sanoinc

“Ice cream maybe?” Wait there’s something even better.” You pointed to a strawberry shortcake stand up ahead. “I don’t think cake is gonna cool is gonna cool us down.” You had been walking for hours and the temperature reached its highest peak of 97 degrees.

“They have something even better,” you assured him. “Ta Da,” you exclaimed. His eyes lit up once he saw the special board. A strawberry shortcake milkshake was written on it. “Do you wanna try it?” Whatever you want you can have L/n.” Okay well I want that.”

You put your order in for 1 milkshake. “Huh, why only one I wanted to try some too.” Armin didn’t get what you were setting up. The day at Heartland was going great as your first date so far. Except for the fact that Armin couldn’t pick up on any of your advances. Like your shameless flirting. Or you pointing out other couples doing cute things.

For someone who’s dated before he doesn't know a lot. So of course he didn’t understand when you only brought one milkshake. “Umm, I’ll be right back Y/n I’m gonna head to the restroom.” Okay, see you in a bit,” you sighed.

Once Armin got in the bathroom he immediately Group FaceTimed his friends. “Armin how’s its going,” they all asked. “I feel like I’m doing something wrong you guys.” Huh whys that?” We know you don’t get much play but come on dude you can’t flop with Y/n or I’ll have to take them,” Jean confessed.

“I’m not flopping you asshole,” Armin yelled. “Jean Shutup hell up let him speak,” Mikasa commanded. Jean stopped his ranting. “It's been awhile since I dated Annie.” And I don’t know if I’m ready for someone as great as Y/n.”

Armin heard everyone sigh at the same time. “Listen Armin buddy,” Eren spoke. “We all know how much you love Y/n you can’t let past thoughts of Annie get in your way.” Yeah,” Mikasa agreed. “You guys are meant for each other stop thinking so hard.”

“Also Armin Y/n just texted me and they said you probably think their gross.” Because of some Milkshake,” Sasha reported. “Shit.” I gotta go you guys.” He hung up the phone running back to you.

“Y/n,” he yelled. “Yes?” I don’t think your gross and I would love to share this milkshake with you.” So Sasha told you about what I said,” you laughed.

“Yes why would you think I felt that way,” he chuckled. “Well, I thought things were going good but you're blowing off all my advances.” So maybe you were ignoring them on purpose.”

“Hey look at me,” he instructed. You look at him still slightly embarrassed. “If anything im the gross one.” I mean I’m here with you someone so pretty, prideful,perfect and precious.” I'm just a bit rusty on my dating skills is all.”

“Damn did I say too much you look concerned,” he wondered. “Of course not I'll always accept praise,” you smirked. “I’m concerned as to why you think so lowly of yourself and so high of me like I'm Jesus or something?” Your the brightest and sweetest person I know Armin.”

“I'm happy you were smart enough to come out here and tell me I'm not gross or anything because I was starting to get worried not gonna lie.” Thanks Y/n I needed that reassurance.” Although I hated to bother you.” What's bothering me is that our milkshake is melting.” Now come slurp this down before it leaks on the table.”

“Let's have a competition,” he challenged. “Whoever drinks this milkshake the fastest has to buy our next one.” It's a deal.” You both shook in it. You dived in immediately without his approval. “Hey that's not fair!” he whined soon he joined finishing way before you.

Afterward, you guys went to the cupid's bridge on a short walk. “I didn’t know you thought I was such an angel.” And perfect oh you don’t have to flatter me so much.” Flatter,” he exclaimed?! “It’s the truth just look at you everything is perfect.”

“I just wish you would say the same thing about yourself.” Your my favorite thing Y/n.” I thought the ocean was your favorite thing, you interrupted. “The ocean has now been replaced from this moment on.”

“I can’t say your my favorite thing yet until I taste this cake baby.” You and him picked up a cake on your way to the hotel. You popped some into your mouths. You stared at each other waiting for a reaction. After taking another bite you stopped. “Mid,” you both agreed at the same time.

“We’ll I guess you are my favorite thing Armin.” So since we're each other’s favorite things would you like to maybe see each other again after today?” Hmmm,” you pondered. “Of course, I had a whole bunch of fun today,” you admitted. You threw away the nasty ass cake and headed towards the hotel you and Armin where supposed to stay at.

You got there in awe from the lobby alone. You two where staying in on of the many hotels called sweethearts corner. It was very PINK. With some black accents, it almost looked like a love-core barbie dreamhouse. You asked a stranger to take a picture of you with the mascot of HeartLand statue.

They came out so cute and you where enjoying the heart filled environment until Armin called you to the reception desk. “It seems as though Eren only booked one room.”

“That sly fucker” Armin whispered to himself. He could just imagine the others smirking now that their plan worked. “Do you not want to be around me or something because I don’t see a problem,” you teased?

“Of course I want to be around you!” Always,” he began. “And forever,” you finished. “So before we go upstairs y/n.” I wanted to ask… about the status.

“Just spit it out Armin,” you demanded. “Fine I was asking about our relationship well.. the status of it.” So your asking if your my boyfriend or not?”

“Yes, that exact question. “Hmm well, I do seem to enjoy your company.” Armin was sweating buckets awaiting your answer. “Is that a yes,” he interjected? “Definitely a yes!”

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hypaalicious · 2 years

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I just got fired from my job today and like... im gonna be okay but god.. this wouldn't happen to Ignis

Getting fired does not feel good, and that really sucks 😩 I hope you aren’t taking it as a reflection of your self worth, because these jobs don’t give af about us, frfr. We’re just cogs in a machine.

Want me to tell you how I got fired from my job I gave 7 years to? Maybe it’ll make you feel better!

TL;DR: I mouthed off to an insufferable executive, she reported me to HR, and they fired me. But she got fired too shortly after 😂

Aiight, so boom:

Idk if folks remember but I worked at a casino and moved up from a basic customer service job to a supervisor of that department, then finally an office job with the executives. The group of us had a really nice relationship; pretty casual, went to lunch together, etc. Like, I would have called my boss my friend if I wasn’t very adamant of keeping lines drawn via work power balances.

But… we all got too comfortable with each other, and when it came down to it, I was the only one expendable.

One of the executives was… she wasn’t a good person, tbh. Lol she was very petty, very shallow, made things really hard for our creative team. She had been reported to HR multiple times for inappropriate comments but like outside of a slap on the wrist, she was untouchable because she was besties with the CEO.

Anyway, COVID hit, and shit got real. Most of us stayed in office to work. During lunch one day, this executive’s doctor called her and left a voicemail to get back to him immediately. We were all like ?? but figured she had it covered.

Then, she called out of work a few days later. And then a week passed and she still ain’t show up. They did a deep clean of the cafeteria that we were all at and roped it off.

So yeah, she came down with the rona. Which is ironic because when the pandemic first hit she scoffed at it and was like, “I’m just gonna live my life, ya know?” And I guess life said:

So yeah. Work wise, things went a lot smoother with her gone. I was more involved with the creative team and got shit done without ruffling their feathers. More people from other departments that this executive had pissed off in the past started coming around more. It was the golden age of productivity. LOL

Well, my boss also had her added on IG. And she was pissed cause while she was out with COVID, she’s posting herself going on walks with her dog, going to the gym (unmasked), doing yoga… basically living it up for the gram. We were pissed, lmao.

Anyway after a month and a half, she shows back up to the office. Nobody is really happy about it but oh well. I go into her office to say welcome back.

My pettycopter flew cause I opened my mouth and said, “hey Typhoid Mary, how’s it going?”

She laughed, I laughed, we chatted for awhile, I caught her up on the work we did for her while she was out, that was it. She left her office shortly after.

Well, later that day, my boss comes in my office shaking. I have never seen her that mad. I ask her what’s up, and she tells me “that bitch reported you to HR over a joke” and that I’m suspended until she can pull whatever strings she can to get me back in office. I just nod, pack up my immediate things and leave.

HR calls me in to talk to me about the insensitive things I said and how I violated HIPPA by exposing her medical history… to only her in her office apparently, but whatever.

A week passes and my boss calls me and said despite going all the way to the CEO and ripping assholes in the company president and everything, she can’t reverse the decision and I’m fired.

Should I have said that? Probably not. Do I regret it? Not really. LMFAO sure, I’ve been unemployed and very poor since then but like… I got to finish my book. I got started on my own otome. I reclaimed my life in a lot of ways. Yeah, it’s been stressful in some ways but I wasn’t gonna go anywhere in that job and I was being taken advantage of like whoa.

Also, the executive got fired after that cause her own shenanigans caught up with her. She used company funds for her own personal projects. LOL

I’m looking for another job rn but it’s a bad time to try to get back into the job force as we’re on the way to a recession LOL But still, no regrets!

I felt bad about it at first tho. I’ve never gotten fired before, lol. And it sucks to give 7 years of your life to a company who won’t even give you benefit of the doubt. But… everything happens for a reason, I guess. LOL

So anyway, I am sorry for your loss of income but I don’t think you’re less of a person because you got fired. Ima pray you find a better job with a bigger paycheck in the future!

#it took me way too long to write this #I was also eating dinner at the same time #and I’m also tipsy cause I drank wine #BUT I FINISHED #keep ya head up Anon I’m in ya corner!#anon ask

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phantomsthought · 1 year

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Bonds my Shepard has with crew mates!

Featuring a picture of my Shepard in her edgy knight armor im me3

Joker

Jeff “Joker” Moreau and Crow C. Shepard are pretty close. They constantly throw jokes at eachother, whether it be on the battle field over comms or sitting in the cockpit, messing around. Crow and Joker cope the same way sometimes- sarcasm and horrible puns, and avoiding the topic at hand at times. They both know this, and either yell at eachother for it or join in. They’re close friend, Crow always brags about how the Normandy has the best pilot out there, and Joker says that his commander is pretty cool. Their bond has only gotten stronger through out the years. Joker constantly makes “Don’t die again Shepard,” jokes on the battle field, and Crow always replies “No promises.” They laugh about it, but joker genuinely hopes a repeat of Shepard being dead for two years, doesn’t happen.

David Anderson

Due to being practically raised by Anderson, they have a parent-child bond. They look after one another, checking in when duty allows them some breathing room. Crow tries to call him at least once every few days, saving the universe doesn’t give her a lot of wiggle room in her schedule, but she certainly tries to keep in contact with David Anderson. Anderson sends messages when they aren’t able to contact eachother for a while, quick status reports, and wishes that she is safe. Crow never had a strong relationship with her father, maybe that’s why she was so drawn in by Anderson, sees him as her father figure. She worries constantly about him while he’s on earth, praying to whatever god will listen that he lives, that he’ll make it out of the wars and be able to retire, relax.

Kaiden Alenko

Since the first mission on Eden prime, maybe before then, Shepard and Alenko were inseparable. Crow demanded Kaiden be on her team when she was on missions, and hung out with him in mess hall during down time. At some point, they were lovers. They held onto eachother so tight, they didn’t even notice how much they tried to keep the other out of harms way. When Crow died, Kaiden spent the two years in mourning. Even when he tried to go out, meet new people, he could never have the connection with them he had with Crow. On horizon, after Shepards reconstruction, he was hit with so many feelings, blaming Crow unintentionally for dying, and not being able to contact him. After wards he messaged her via extranet. When they met up again, when Crow joined alliance once again and got ungrounded, they re bonded in the hospital while Kaiden was hurt. When he rejoined the Normandy crew, Alenko was ecstatic, to be working with Shepard and the team again. Sometimes he longs for the relationship they once had, but he’s happy keeping their relationship friendly, as long as he can stay by Crows side he’s happy.

Ashley Williams

Let’s be honest, Crow heavily disliked Williams. Due to her racism, the way she acted as if humans were superior, it pissed Shepard off. They never got close, they were just people who went on missions sometimes, tolerated eachother when passing in the halls. Ashley’s death on Virmire hurt Crow a bit, but she didn’t mourn as much as some others did. She hated a soldier died under her command, Ashley just rubbed her the wrong way. She never personally knew the soldier

Urdnot Wrex

When they first met, Wrex was indifferent to Crow, untrusting. Later after proving her loyalty, Wrex and the human got along well. The krogan taught Shepard about his history, even let her in on his issues with his father. He rubbed off on her a lot, she spent most of her time with Wrex or Garrus, and most of the time, Wrex tagged along anyway if she was with Garrus. They head butt eachother and huh when greeting eachother, they make playfully violent jokes with eachother, spar together, they bonded in their own way. They had their soft moments, of course. But most of the time it was one bullying the other, and the other trying to butt back. When he became a clan leader, He made sure to talk to Shepard once discovering she was alive as much as he could. Whenever she landed on his home planet, she was respected because whoever messed with her would have to deal with the krogan leader. She’s his favorite human

Garrus Vakarian

Garrus and Shepard clicked instantly. Garrus became Crows rock, just as she became his. Having the universe on their shoulders was a heavy load, and they helped eachother carry it. Garrus after a while had conflicting feelings, unsure if he liked the human or if it was just admiration because of how strong his commander was. When she died, Garrus became Archangel. He realized how much Crow meant to him, how his feelings weren’t just admiration to a senior officer. It was love. When he saw Shepard on Omega, he thought he was dying- or going crazy. She was coming to guide him to the after life. He wouldn’t be complaining, because he’d be with Shepard again. When he realized he and the commander were alive, he was even happier. He accepted his feelings for Shepard, and eventually Crow had returned his feelings. They were separated after the Normandy got grounded after the collectors being defeated, Garrus was sad again. And when he remet Shepard, he was the same sweet but cocky turian. He was beyond happy when Crow still returned his feelings after being apart for so long. Their relationship is very strong, and stable. There is no Shepard without Vakarian

Liara T’soni

Crow and Liara see eachother as sisters, protecting and defending eachother when needed. They give eachother information, gossip, a shoulder to lean on. They grew close because Shepard listened to Liara’s endless scientific ramblings, and because she saved her life on multiple occasions. When Liara became the shadow broker, she changed. A lot. But Crow supported Liara, trusting her judgment. Liara does absolutely everything she can to help the war efforts and Shepard herself

Tali’Zorah

Tali had a heavy crush on crow, ever since they met. Garrus and Tali make fun of eachother for liking Shepard. Tali was always there supporting Crow, and Crow supported tali when needed. Crow defended tali when she was tried for treason, which she greatly appreciated. When Tali became Tali’zorah vas Normandy, she couldn’t help but feel happy. Normandy was her family, and Crow was someone who meant the world to her. She always supports Crow, no matter if they’re galaxies away or not. The two will always have each others backs

Urdnot Grunt

They have a familial relationship. Since Shepard released the krogan from his tank, everyone referred to him as her ‘tank baby.’ Crow took care of and looked over Grunt as if he were her child, though Krogan mature faster than humans, he accepted this. Crow and him often messed with their model figures together, or discussed random things, such as his jumbled memories or her own experiences. Crow shows him old human Vids, and grunt offers knowledge and his loyalty. He calls her “Battle master”, but one time Crow swore she heard him slip up, and mutter “mom” before he covered it up by shouting “BATTLE MASTER SHEPARD.” Shepard is his krannt. His rock. She defended him when no one else would, she saw his worth and never looked down on him because he was tank bred. She saw him as him. Grunt defended and fought for Shepard whenever he could, she was his human, and spirits forbid someone talk down on his human

Thane Krios

Thane and Crow had an understanding of eachother. Thane deeply respected Crow, and often referred to her as Siha, a goddess in Drell religion. He always appreciated her bringing him and his son together again. Thane and Crow spent time together in his room, silently sometimes, other times talking aimlessly or about memories. They understood when the other was upset and offered company or whatever they could to help. Thane caught Shepard trying to find a cure for his disease once. She was talking to mordin, who said he could possibly make it possible. Thane has a very deep fondness for his commander

Jack

Crow and Jack don’t get along all the time, but they got along most of the time. Crow understood jacks caution whenever she tried getting to know her, and always stepped away when Jack said it was enough. Despite the playful insults they throw at eachother, they’ll have each others back when the other needs it. Crow and Jack have an unspoken friendship. It’s never brung up or asked about, it just exists, and they’re okay with that

Miranda Lawson

Neither liked eachother very much, at the very least they tolerated eachother. Crow after helping Miranda with their sister decided that they would be friends, and Miranda agreed on that. They were never extremely close, whenever back stories were brought up they avoided them completely by changing the subject. At the end of the day though Shepard was just acting as Miranda’s therapist at some point, all Miranda did was vent everything into the Shepards shoulders. Crow didn’t mind, but she wished they could’ve bonded more

Jacob Taylor

Crow Shepard and Jacob had basically absent father figures, they made jokes about it. A lot. It’s how they became good friends though. Jacob joked about sharing Anderson as their father, and Crow laughed along and said she’d “let him know he had another kid.” She saw him as family, and would do anything to protect him. Jacob was like a brother to Crow, and Jacob felt the same about the commander. He would do what he could to help her, from in battle to emotions, or anything else. They were they’re for eachother no matter what, and keep contact through the extranet

Mordin Solus

At first, Crow didn’t like him much, because of his support to the genophage. Eventually, she came to like the solarian. They bonded over sciences, and music. Mordin loved human music, older music especially. He never heard it before Shepard introduced it to him, because he brought up the fact she always listened to something with an ear piece. He knew it wasn’t communications, because she always bobbed her head to it or tapped her finger on the side of her gun. She had her own ‘mission playlist’ to help her feel in control and safer, more calm and confident. Mordin let Crow hang around his office when she wanted, and even let her mess around with some of his equipment if he deemed it safe for her to play with. None of it actually was, but he knew Crow was stubborn, and would turn out fine anyways. His death was something that hit Crow hard. She mourned over him for so long, hell she still does. You’ll hear her mutter a song he used to sing under her breath, very often: “I am the very model of a scientist salarian! I’ve studied species turian, asari and Batarian. I’m quite good at genetics (as a subset of biology) because I am an expert (which I know is a tautology).” She also sings his other songs which are about: the krogan queen, random patter, acid song, grace, and mitosis. He sang often while he worked, and she sings his songs as she works. She adored the scientist. Due to the time spent with him, she picked up many of his habits. Singing while working voicing thought process out loud, speaking very fast and not taking a breath until the thought is finished, and being very blunt when it comes to certain things. One of her favorite conversations with Mordin was when they were watching musicals together, and he hyper analyzed the scenes, while she added in her own knowledge and such when he stopped talking for her input. She misses him.

Javik

Javik is fond of the commander. He is unsure why, but he knows she is particularly interesting. She sits in his room with him. She doesn’t prof with questions or annoy him with endless chattering, she just sits in the space she always sits in- a corner with boxes near where he stands - and reads, or does whatever. Sometimes they chat, play chess, one time Crow let him try to braid her hair. He did surprisingly well. For being an avatar of vengeance, Javik was a very kind and careful person. They felt a understanding between eachother, and went to the citadel often because javik so badly wanted to experience it, as it was taken by the reapers in his cycle before he could visit. They’re very close friends, and this bond seems un breakable

James Vega

Yet another victim of falling in love with Shepard. He calls her ‘Lola,’ which she doesn’t seem to mind but it confuses the other team mates. When she was grounded she worked with James often, so they got relatively close. They work out together, and when he visits captains cabin he allowed himself to be ‘soft’ and just relax with Commander Shepard. Crow is oblivious to his feelings, as his flirting was always apart of his personality. They often hang out in mess hall or fighting in the lower decks )playfully of course.) James would follow her to the ends of the world, he adored Shepard, and her charisma, her strength

Legion

Another victim of Shepard adopting someone. Crow adopted leigon when it joined the Normandy, finding it sweet when it referred to her a “Shepard-Commander.” The geth would do anything to keep her safe, and she would do anything for them. Legion and Shepard are very close, and often talk about things from their own culture. To eachother so they can learn more about the other

Edi

Crow treats edi as part of the crew even before she got a physical form. Crow has always respected and believed in Edi, and she finds that baffling. They’re very close, and Crow is happy to answer questions and teach the ai about human culture, and about joker.

#garrus vakarian #fanfic #mass effect #original character #mass effect shepard #urdnot grunt #urdnot wrex #mordin solus #tali'zorah #liara t'soni #hyperfixation

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just-a-dumb-gay · 2 years

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I think I just found out why i crave validation online from strangers (like comments on fanfics). And why praise and compliments on something I done always make me so happy.

I rarely got rewards as a kid for doing good things. And Ive gotten even less as I've grown up.

TL;DR (because there's explanation and tangenting below the cut): I pretty much never get or have gotten praise or rewards or anything similar because I was doing things that I should be doing anyways because society perceives it all as normal and easy and it's only gotten worse as Ive gotten older. So now my achievements and cool stuff being acknowledged with genuine enthusiasm means the world.

SO GO GIVE POSITIVE VIBES TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY, ESPECIALLY ANY KIDS IN YOUR LIFE, EVEN JUST A REALLY COOL STRANGER ONLINE!! IT MAKES SO MUCH MORE OF A DIFFERENCE THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE REALIZE!

Actual accomplishments? Nope. Perfect report cards (minus attendance because I'm not superhuman, I got sick like 99% of other kids. And just gym ew it was so boring) and endless praise during parents night (because gifted kid plus a pile of anxiety and autism that was scared to get in trouble).

Now I wanna specify I did get little things like some sweets or like a couple pounds as pocket money but that was 9/10 times for helping with chores or something that I didn't HAVE to help with. Those things I done because I wanted to help, and ngl a few of the tasks were fun so I wanted to do them without expecting anything in return. So just a quick side note but still somewhat relevant.

I should also specify since the adult Im closest to is my dad, his opinion and everything means way more tor me than it should.

I never even got a simple "I'm proud of you" from my dad (who has seen me every day minus like a month in total in my entire 18 years of living). And he taught me A LOT outside of school. Life skills, creative skills, problem solving skills. Even when I do good with all of that honestly I don't think he's ever said that to me even Once. Now I don't have it as bad as many many others because I would still get things like "Good job" or "Well done" but they were kinda half hearted and its still taken its toll on me. (Because even though others have something worse doesn't mean we're not allowed to have strong feelings about our personal situation)

I have an abundance of health issues and doing so many things has became extremely challenging for me. Yesterday, I went to my first medical appointment completely alone, and it was a dentist appointment and I have deppresso teeth so dentists are terrifying. When my dad got home from work I was telling him about it and everything and how happy I was it went well despite now having a temporary filling in a tooth Im most likely gonna lose. Yknow what his reaction was after I had tangented for like 10 minutes out of happiness then had to stop and take a breath? "Okay I'm gonna finish eating my dinner now" in his 'im pretending to joke yet I'm being serious' tone (which is a whole other issue). Like... dude... I managed to do my first bus journey, medical appointment and mild medical procedure completely 100% alone, 3 things that absolutely terrify me, AND YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR FOOD?!

My partner said they were proud of me multiple times yesterday. My friend hyped me up and offered enthusiastic and entertaining support. Those 2 and 2 other friends (one I dont speak to quite as regular and another who ive been friends with for roughly 9 years and am super close to but we talk like 1 or 2 times a month) are always super supportive in their own individual ways and Im still not used to it, and I don't think I ever will be.

So I guess long tangent short. My accomplishments were always just treated as average things that were expected of me similar to just simply being at school on time. And anything I created usually had a flaw pointed out (not in a constructive criticism way, Im always open to constructive criticism) and the most that'd be said is "Looks good" or "Thats nice". So now praise and/or enthusiastic support (both are equal to me) for accomplishments mean the absolute world. And comments on fanfics or any other sort of positive acknowledgement of something I created makes me feel like what I done was actually a good use of my time.

I could say a lot more but I just need to rant for a bit, and this is probably gonna get like 3 notes max.

#neurodivergent #gifted kid burnout

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ocean-anchored · 2 years

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Dear Future Self... - June 2, 2022

Wow I honestly don’t even know where these last few months have gone. I literally can’t believe it’s June already. I just posted April’s update as it was sitting in my drafts. I remember writing it and the reason I didn’t post was because I wanted to talk about an update with Nate but it got too late so I just saved it as a draft and never went back. To update on Nate... I think at the time I was still not sure but his birthday had just passed and we had had a really fun weekend celebration but then weeks went on and his busy season mixed with mine. I don’t remember where it even stemmed from but I just started getting frustrated that we talked less and felt like we weren’t connecting anymore. We had a call that felt alright to bring us back and talked about how we felt disconnected but really I think I had disconnected myself by that time that I knew I was just going further away. It didn’t end the best, we were frustrated at each other and both felt each other wasn’t putting any effort in to make anything work or to even conversate. It got to a point of literally texting 4 times a day maybe for weeks, even weekends seemed to come and go and we had nothing so we said it wasn’t working and just stopped talking. I’m not mad. I mean, I feel he was pretty immature about it because there was several remarks leading up that he made of “are you too cool to start a text now” when I didnt text him at 6am on the weekends because I don’t wake up that early and he hadn’t even said goodnight the night before and ignored me which again like whatever Im not being petty but that he made those comments that he was upset I wasn’t texting him first even though he was up before me just felt childish. Then tries to call me out when I tell him how he’s making me feel and he completely disregarded all my feelings and told me he wasn’t taking responsibility for anything so oh well. I’m glad it ended when it did and its okay. We had a fun run and I realized a lot of what I do and don’t want in a relationship. especially how I certainly don’t want someone SO individual that they don’t have the courtesy to hold the door for me. Like he viewed me more as a friend than anything and thats fine because yes I want to be someones best friend but holding hands in public or those little touches or simply holding the door open is a SIMPLE gesture for a man to do, I dont think that’s asking too much. ESPECIALLY considering I was spending $160 ON FUEL alone just to visit for 2.5 days and then on top of that buying half of our meals for the weekend. I spent SO much money just to be constantly going out there, I would tickle his back every single night we went to sleep, I gave him a massage or two every single weekend I was out, like honestly I look back and I think to myself, what did he do for me? Other than cook because I was in his house as a guest which I couldnt say he even did every time it was every once in a while because we mostly ate out every meal, but honestly what did he do for me? So its okay and Im glad I had that trial and run to see what it’s like to “see someone” again. Anyways. Condo stuff is still just as frustrating. Lots of back and forth and legal stuff. I love Mel but man shes just all over the place all the time and I can understand but she’s got to rein herself in and just stick with something. The selling every car, switching up jobs, one day shes alright the next she hates her life its just emotionally a lot but I love her to death. I just want her to be happy and out of this bankruptcy and condo and we can all just move on with our life. House stuff with trav is better now. It was bad for a bit, I really dont like the realtor they got because hes pushy as hell and so damn unprofessional. Im reporting him when we’re done because he’s been the worst person to deal with. He got trav and his mom riled up messaging me because I didnt agree with the first offer within the first fucking hour. It was just all way too much, we shouldnt have even tried to list the house until we had things in order about the split of it so that caused so many more issues i ended up just backing out of everything and saying fine take it all and be done. I think he moved back to the island because he’s not living there now but too bad he’s still responsible for the payments until it sells! I dont care. But I’ve been praying more this past week and asking for peace and reassurance that Gods going to provide and I have been feeling a lot better. I dont think about him very often and I dont have the same anger I did a few weeks ago so thats all thanks to the Lord. I’m still working a lot and really just focusing on that, I’ve been drawing more again finally and just relaxing. I really want to enjoy summer this year and go to all the little events and things and just focus on things that make me happy. Not on what will make someone else happy or what more can I do to feel like Im doing something right. I'm just working, focusing on my health and being the best version of me. I definitely let these last couple months slip by so fast without continuing my inner work questions to keep unpacking things and to keep my mind in that growing and learning but I also don't want to be super hard on myself because I did a lot of that for many months and I’ve come a long way and sometimes it’s okay to just live in the “settle” and live in the moments and come back to those growing points again. I do need to find a better balance. I got a little caught up in the looking to date again area and went on some dates with Mitch which he’s the absolute sweetest gem of a guy but just not someone that I’m looking for for life sadly and Im sad that hurt him even though he completely understood and heck man he’s definitely been the most understanding guy I’ve ever come across but I really do want to find someone that has the same beliefs and goals in life as me. Not that 36 was too old but he wasn’t the biggest adventure guy and thats okay too but he was more on the home body side than going out to hike and explore and doing different activities and keeping busy with hobbies like that, he was more work and stay home doing other work or watch movies. Thought it really saddens me because Nova and Zona played so well that I haven’t seen her play with another dog like that since Clark. Made me really just want the best life for her and to meet more dogs that she can really play with. Man i love her so much haha. I can’t believe she’s 4 next week. She’s the most special breathing animal of life. Anyways thats a big ramble and that catches you up to date on most of the things happening. other than talking to Marc who's from Edmonton but I'm not going to get excited or start talking about that yet cause it’s still so early even though we seem to have everything in common and he’s damn attractive but let’s wait for that update another day. Oh and the the battle of Alberta happened!!! But flames lost so that sucks.

Good night future self.

#dear future self #personal #future self #life updates

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