#im not used to writing fics anymore so idk what people prefer

[lisannastraussisanangel]

do it. we’re the fic, i dare you to 😈😈

(leaving aside the fact i literally wrote up 28 pages of the beginnings of my own ErLu sister fic just last night—)

I did it! I'm very rusty tho so don't judge me too harshly! Here is the link if anyone wants to read!

Also that's awesome! Have you posted yours? Can I read it?!

[hammity-hammer]

15 questions, 15 tags

i was tagged by my dear @unclewaynemunson :)) thank you lovely!

(also please excuse my lengthy answers, i get really excited and write a lot lmfao- and some of the answers vaguely mention shitty parenting, not in depth but it is brought up if anyone gets uncomfy by that! (questions 2 & 3 specifically :p)

1. Are you named after anyone? nope! my Government Name™️ is amethyst, like the stone, but my ma just thought it was cool :p i prefer aj or ham, though! i do say that aj stands for apple juice, so i guess i could be named after apple juice :pp

2. When was the last time you cried? friday! i heard really sad news regarding how my younger brothers are being parented by my biodad and it! hurt to realize he's not breaking his cycle :,)

3. Do you have kids? nope! but i do treat my oldest younger brother(the 18yo i write about a lot) like he's my son bc we had some Rough Moments™️ as kids where i was like the parent

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yes! but a lot of people don't realize it #thankyouautism

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? oooo,,,,,, it really depends? i really stare at people's lips bc i have auditory processing issues,, and apparently i recognize people based on their mouths?? but im inclined to say eyes because i like them? idk,,, lips or eyes!

6. What's your eye color? i have centralized heterochromia! (like a big portion of people tbh, but i still think it's neat) so my eyes are like,, hazel? but not green hazel, they're grey! on the outside part at least, and the inside is like a golden brown :p

7. Scary movies or happy endings? this is hard!! i really fucking love scary movies,, all of my favorite movies are scary! but i'm a sucker for a happy ending,,, i think,,,, i may have to go scary though!

8. Any special talents? idk if it's a talent but i can macrame necklaces? and i know spanish(fairly fluently, i'm really shy with it though), and am learning asl, which i think is pretty talented?? i also can decorate a cake?(pretty basically, but i know how to do some shitty roses and write!)

9. Where were you born? chicago! (indiana tho, it's like 15 minutes away from where i was born)

10. What are your hobbies? writing, drawing, watching tv, engaging with my local bdsm & queer community!! and getting tattoos and piercings<333 (i have 27 tattoos and like,,, 17? 18 piercings? idk anymore)

11. Do you have any pets? yes! i have one cat, my sweet lady Miss Rizz! i had a cat named flamer who recently had to take his forever sleep, and i miss him dearly. <3 (i'm writing a fic vaguely surrounding this idea that hopefully will be done this weekend!)

12. What sports do you play/have you played? none :)))))) unless you count,,, fishing?

13. How tall are you? i'm 5'8! which is around 173cm for my non american buddies :,)))))

14. Favorite subject in school? languages! i took four years of spanish, one of asl, and i adored my english classes! also, art and painting! and anatomy & physiology, and pathophysiology :) i'm a big human body nerd lmao (also i'm aware i shouldve chosen one but i have too many favorites to choose just one!)

15. Dream job? good question! i'm not sure, honestly. i always say being a piercer, but i tend to get bored rather quickly of jobs and i change a lot, hence why i know how to decorate cakes but also can tell you which alarm companies have a better monitoring service, and can also make a mean ass from-scratch smash burger. i think that when i went to college(i dropped out) my dream job was being a pathologist, and i honestly think that i might still want to do that? but owning a queer run/servicing primarily queer people piercing studio sounds really fucking enticing. i could go on a whole thing about body affirming piercing and the effect it has on queer people, and how we have modern day american piercing thanks to our queer predecessors, but that's nerdy and not what the question asked! so, final answer: either a pathologist, or an owner of a queer piercing shop :p

thank you so much for reading if you did!

i'm gonna tag @cheatghost @punkharringtxn @someforeignband @courtjestermunson @corrodedcorpses @riality-check @rhaenyyras @legitcookie @princessstevemunson @sidekick-hero @babygirlharrington @fagsculinity @harmonictechnicality @strawberryspence and anyone else who wants to do this! you can tag me <3

[blnk338]

oooh i heard smut talk and i have to take that opportunity to put my pp in that pie.

this doesnt really have anything to do with any take of any anon on smut in rwys, but i saw my chance and ima take it hehe

idk if i’m too old or lame or smth, i think i might just be too desensitized atp, but … like… i love fics without or with minimal smut. maybe i’ve filled the gap of needing that as entertainment, bcs i started consuming sin when i was far too young. but it doesnt tickle me in the slightest anymore.

i love sexual tension and yearning and characters falling hardcore for eachother, but im really over too much sexy time ngl. ive never read a fic bcs the tags said it will be smutty. i actually started to skip a lotta fics that are porn w/o plot, it just isnt interesting to me. maybe i’ve seen it all and its not feeding any part of my brain anymore or whatever idk.

personally i do not understand the obsession with sexy time in fics and books, i do get why others like it tho and to each their own! but it will never be a reason for me to not read a fic bcs it doesnt have lots of sexy nsfw content.

i will take slow burn, enemies to lovers with super intricate and complex relationship dynamics that built over 300k words any time. make them touch hands for the first time after 4 months of me reading the fic and waiting for updates! they fall into each others arms all desperate in chapter 134? I will devour it. Hell, if the damn fic ends with them kissing for the first time… really as long as i can feel the love and want and all the feelings, i could not give less of a fuck, if the characters end up in bed together.

Some of the best fics ive read had relationships that ended with the characters completely devoted to eachother, both in love, massive tension between them and there was not a single drop of nswf in the entire story. There wasnt even a damn kiss.

Like i said, i understand that ppl like the entertainment of smut and i see that a lotta ppl enjoy writing it. super cool, super great. what i found out for myself is that i value mostly everything else in a story. espesh when a story can make me feel stuff, without it being shown through physical things the characters do. i think creating smth that pulls readers in like that, is an art in itself.

that was my unwarranted smut talk, thanks for coming 🦐

thank you so much for the input prawny!! always great to hear from u :)

im grateful for the conversation because i also prefer fics without smut-- i used to read them a lot when i was younger, but i agree on the fact that its just not really what I'm looking for now. I'm over the moon that people like my fic for how it is, and i never want to create any sort of turbulence with its contents.

i appreciate the constructive add-ons and i think this was really well said!

thank u again prawny!!

[astrobei]

Also any other fanfic writing tips? Do you have thoughts on chaptered fics vs longer one-shots? Do you ever struggle with characters feeling ooc?

I'm working my way up to finishing a couple WIPs and am very very nervous about posting them on ao3 😬😬

ooshdjsfh i think it’s funny when ppl ask me for writing advice bc i am a Mess but i will try my hardest to be helpful w this!

for the first bit, personally i’m a fan of oneshots, both writing and reading (there are exceptions for both ofc!!) just because i usually don’t have the attention span to write or read chaptered fics unless they’re finished and under 5 chapters ! but both of my chaptered fics are/were chaptered literally because i wrote too much to make it a oneshot without it feeling kind of clunky and awkward LOL i don’t usually write fics with big fleshed out plots anyway, and it’s more like a general storyline with a focus on individual scenes instead of the overarching plot, so i’ll write it all in one go! and i always write more than i think i will, so stories i plan to be like 10-15k ALWAYS end up at least 20k somehow 😭 personally i just rly appreciate when chaptered fics are consistent w uploading (as much as possible for the author) because it’s really hard for me to commit otherwise, which is why i don’t rly write them myself!!

and Oh My God anon,, i struggle CONSTANTLY w characters feelings ooc im always so concerned w my mike especially, since so much of s3 and 4 was more will pov and we didn’t get as much of an insight into mike’s internal struggles and thoughts like we did with will (the castle byers scene, van scene, jonathan talk, etc) so i’m always worried that the way i interpret him is not the same way that others might! and characters like lucas and dustin and max are easier since their povs in the show have stayed pretty consistent since their first appearances, and even will is easier for me to write (although i prefer mike which is pretty obvious maybe LOL) but mike Stresses Me Out a lot,, whew !!

if ur having trouble w that my advice (or at least what i do, take it w a grain of salt siskfjsjf) is think whether or not u could imagine this character saying that in the show. like, if this dialogue was added to a scene would it feel weird and out of place? do they usually use words like that? are there words used in the show specific to this character? (e.g: robin with “dingus”) i do take a lot of creative liberty w characters like mike and will especially when writing fluff fics, since so much of s4 and the end of s3 has been Sad and we haven’t gotten much humorous interaction from them, but i always try to ask myself if it’s true to their dynamic. like, mike would never ever pull off being suave and cool (except maybe in will’s unreliable narrator pov) because he gets flustered and is kind of an idiot and will is canonically a little bitchy and a little snarky and one of the only people who can put mike in his place so .

and thinking abt their motivations and Why they act/think the way they do: in byler’s case for example, will is selfless to a fault where he keeps putting other people before him, he’s so scared of his own needs making him selfish or a bad person that he often backpedals too far trying to amend that (s4!!) but he gets frustrated pretty easily (he’s the one that’s Started both of the infamous byler fights, the one that blows up first) and isn’t afraid to call mike out on things !! vs mike who tries really really hard, and has so much love for the people in his life but he’s inexperienced in it and doesn’t know how to show it in the way they want (saying ily to el, being a good friend to will) and a lot of his own inner monologue being fueled by the fear that the people in his life don’t need him anymore and yk . stuff like that . idk i just think abt these things a lot when i write!

anyways i am not qualified in the slightest to give any of this advice so FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS !! but anon if u ever end up publishing those wips (pls do) PLEASE don’t hesitate to drop me a link i’d love to check them out! posting fics can be rly scary but my advice would be to have as much fun with it as u can! play around w tropes and dialogue and writing styles and povs as much as u want. it can be easy to get caught up in writing what u think ppl want to read or thinking u Have to write smth bc someone asked for it but literally just write whatever u want (that’s like . not insane and awful for obvious reasons) and enjoy urself!!

hope this helped !! <3

[elleloquently]

you're spitting such straight facts here elle! idk if you've noticed too, but it seems a lot of fic writers just make up an entirely new personality and slap ellie's name on it, so much so to the point where it's not even ellie! and don't get me started on the smut - i've not read it in about a year because it's just the same old dribble - overtly kinky, "j's" and "'f'me" all over the place to the point i swear my brain is about to bleed, and so... violent?? i may be bias bc i'm personally as vanilla as they come but despite that, the smut i've seen on and off when i'm just trying to explore the tag is worrying. to each their own, but i've just noticed a trend, that's all. i've removed myself from reading smut but unfortunately tlou tags are really hectic so you literally can't escape smut even if you tried. i don't even bother looking at the tlou tag anymore bc of this

i do not wanna be a hater im just gonna stay on my girly blog and write my lil fics because to each their own of course!!!!

i just am curious if people are just using their own preferences in their writing or if that is genuinely people’s perceptions of ellie !! characters are obvs gonna be interpreted in different ways which i know but i wonder what it is ab her that makes people think she’s all hard with like zero emotions or softness ab her

[mizunetzu]

hi!! i just found your blog and i may or may not have binged all the fics 😼😼 i was wondering if you could write a dabi or hawks x male reader where the reader is a rly gentle and kind barista and dabi/hawks is just wHIPPED for him? i think thatd be mad cute 👉👈

LMAOOO DABI + HAWKS TIME TURN IT UP-

——————

Headcannons - Dabi and Hawks whipped for their local barista

⚠️Warnings - kidnapping (dabi)

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Dabi:

Ok so like hear me out

At first

AT FIRST

you didn’t catch this mans eye

In fact, he didn’t go to the coffee shop you worked at much because yknow...villain...

But it was late at night one day yk

And mans was like “oh boy, i sure am thirsty after committing homcide and robbery”

N the first place he sees

Dun dun dun

Is the 24 hr coffee shop you worked at HAHAHA

So he goes in, preparing to like-idk, threaten ur life for a cup of coffee or smth mean n whatnot

The door bell rings, and you turn around and give him the KINDEST MOST GENTLE-EST SMILE HES EVER SEEN

As a villain, and just someone who looks out of the ordinary in general, he never got much of that

SO WHEN HE SEES THIS...MAN SMILING FUCKING SUN RAYS AT HIM

HE FREEZES

You ask him if he’s ok, and DAMN UR VOICE WAS SO SOFT IT WAS BARELY INAUDIBLE WHAGSHDHEH

Mans usually isn’t at a loss for words but HE IS NOW

Instead of threatening you for a cup of coffee, he actually orders like a normal person

He’s the only one in the cafe since it’s so late, and you had the late night shift lucky you

He sat in the corner with his coffee in silence, occasionally stealing glances at you sweeping the floor or counting the money in the register

what was this foreign feeling in his chest whavabwhshs

He didn’t notice when you walked up to him

mans almost roasted you alive

LMAO BUT HE DIDNT SO IT OK

“Are you doing okay? Do you want a refill?”

He wasn’t really thirsty anymore but he did get a refill because he wanted to stay and watch you work some more like a creep

Yeah, one refill turned to three and he ended up talking to you for the rest of the night AWW

He was honestly suprised you didn’t know he was a villain, with the dark coat and scars and stuff

He ended up buying more coffee to take back to the league with the money he stole HAHAHA

Toga, sipping on her third coffee: yo why u buy so much damn

Dabi: 🤠

He started coming over more and more in the dead of night, on the days you worked which he totally didn’t find out by sneaking into the back room of the cafe and checking the schedule

You, somehow, didn’t find it suspicious that he’d always visit whenever you worked

One day, on one of the numerous times he’s visited, you mentioned how you used to be a bartender before switching over to being a barista

Something just...clicked

He’s a villain, right? Why’s he going so far to appeal to you, when he could just kidnap you and convince you to join the league?

So he did just that

You woke up in their weird club bar room hideout, tied to a chair with dabi and a few unfamiliar faces

Dabi lowkey felt bad (even for him) because even though you were literally just kidnapped, you gave him one of those heartwarming smiles

Even if it was a bit scared and forced, and probably a coping mechanism out of fear

“Look I ain’t gonna hurt you, dude. You’re one of my favorite people, so I’m offering you a deal.”

“Siiiiiiimp.”

“Shut the fuck up, Toga.”

Dabi nudged the girls side.

A girl with blond hair and a school girls uniform pointed a knife at you. You flinched and dabi kept talking

“You said you used to be a bartender, right? I’m sure you can help this guy out behind the counter. Join us.”

Dabi motioned at Kurogiri. He waved, LMAOO

“Join me...please”

As scared as you were, you couldn’t deny the fact you had a soft spot for this scarily intimating man who’d sit in the corner and sip coffee everyday at work

Hell, sometimes (all the time LNAJS) you joined him and you’d talk for hours

And hearing this guy say “please” for the first time?

You nodded slowly, and dabi smiled

It was a nice smile, even if it was a bit scary

How could you possibly refuse?

——————

Hawks:

Since he wasn’t yknow...fucking iilegal and a villain, he came by to your coffee shop during the day

He was workin, caught and turned in a villain yk the usual

And he was kinda far away from his house, n he was gettin kinda hungry

He was flying around the city, when he spotted your lil coffee shop

Well, it wasn’t really a coffee shop, more like a food stop that so happens to sell coffee n drinks aswell

And hEY

you just opened up too, it was a relatively new place

My mans hawks supporting new & local businesses <3

He goes in right

He sees yakitori on the menu and goes :D

So he goes to order

And sees this,,, BEAUTIFUL HANDSOME MAN BEHIND THE COUNTER

“Hi Mister! What can I do you for?”

YOUR VOICE WAS LIKE FUCKING ANGELS SINGING WHAGSHW

I think the main reason hawks was drawn to you was the fact you didn’t treat him like a celebrity and kissed his ass n whatnot, mainly bc you didn’t really keep up nor care about the trending hero’s and stuff (no offense to hawks and none taken)

He choked on his yakitori when you walked up to his lil table and asked for a picture for ur grandpa (who was a BIG fan, unlike you)

MANS REALLY HAD TO PUT ON HIS MOST CHARMING SMILE AND PEACE SIGN THIS SIMP IM HDHEIDIE

He kept going out of his way to visit ur shop frequently even though he lived preeeeetty far off

I mean mans has wings so it ain’t a problem but-

This simp-

He doesn’t show up in his hero outfit (unless he’s coming from patrol) so you didn’t really see him as “Hawks the hero”, more like “Keigo, the man who has stupid endeavor shorts and likes yakitori”

It’s really sweet he shows up in stupid graphic shirts and sweatpants he looks comfy-

He openly flirts with you, and at first you laughed and smiled because you didn’t wanna be rude (it still did things to Keigos heart)

but then

Ur laughs n smiles when he drops a stupid pickup line? They real

The way you offer to take over ur coworkers shifts just to see if Hawks stops by? It’s love just admit it

The totally unfair discount you gave him on yakitori, not mentioning the way you know how Keigo prefers it by heart? Just ask him out already DAMN

You two didn’t have any personal info on eachother, no numbers, emails, hell, Keigo didn’t know your first name (in Japan, you don’t really go by first names unless ur with fam or close friends yk?)

So when you nervously hand him his box of yakitori one day?

Hawks is like 🤠👍?

He opens it and sees:

“(Xxx)-xxx-xxxx -call me, and maybe we can, I don’t know, go out on a date and get to know each other more, yakitori-kun? ~(Y/n)

So ur first name was (Y/n), huh

HES WHIPPED

HES SIMPING

He looks over at you, hiding ur face and sneaking glances at him while ur coworkers stiffing snickers and nudging ur side

GOD TAKE HIM NOW

you bet ur ass hes calling u later and saving ur contact as “My yakitori man (Y/n) ✨❤️”

——————

Thank y’all for 700, by the way !! I love you all !!

[littlemisslipbalm]

“your turn”

Harry Styles was a romantic. He hated weddings. Rori Williams was practical. She hated weddings, too. How could she deny a man who had just drunkenly confessed his love for her at a wedding? Even if it was completely and totally untrue.

A story of two semi-strangers to lovers with weddings, drunken confessions, and girls with two names.

gif has nothing to do with it but he looks fancy and i like it :) tpwk

Hi! this is for @meetmeinfleetwood to lovers fic challenge! and it’s a little cruel of me to post it today after those wedding pics came out but i have been working on this for awhile and tomorrow’s the deadline so if it’s too soon im sorry and if its just what you need enjoy! I used prompts 12 and 15! It’s my first ofc story which is a little strange for me but i wanted to use a name for this, but besides her hair and eye color and a name she’s pretty generic,,, idk thank you all for always reading and all of that. lmk what you think and reblogs are always really appreciated

Word Count: 9.3k | Warnings: drinking, swearing, implied? smut (couldn’t bring my heart to write any my apologies), harry being a silly drunk, mentions of being afraid of someone taking advantage of someone under the influence but ofc no! actual any misconduct -- a SITCH wedding!!! so cute ::))

Harry Styles was a romantic.

He loved love songs that professed their undying love for their significant other. He loved romance movies, rom coms especially, because they were happy and in love and he got to cry and laugh all in one. He loved writing his own songs about love and he loved spreading the idea of loving and treating others with kindness. He loved first dates and the relationships that sometimes sprouted out of them. He loved reading books about love and how to make it last. He loved poetry that waxed eloquent about love. He loved love.

He hated weddings.

Well, he hadn’t always hated weddings. In the beginning, they were like every other aspect of love, he loved them. But slowly, as he kept receiving announcements of engagement and wedding invitations and he kept not sending out letters of his own, his aversion grew.

Sure, he still loved going. He still wept for the happy couples when they committed themselves to each other. He still clapped profusely and danced to the dj or live band. He still tried to enjoy it. But with weddings he had a nagging sense in the back of his head reminding him that he still hadn’t found it yet. Each of his relationships had fallen short in some way as to not lead him to this destination. So when he sat at his assigned table at these various gatherings, he held a bit of apprehension, a bit of envy, about everything going on. He knew that his smiles were all a little forced and his laugh not quite genuine. His thoughts always managed to be controlled by his green-eyed monster that he always attempted to keep locked away. But at weddings, especially when the alcohol started flowing, he had a harder time controlling it.

Seeing all his friends getting together, getting married, and having children wore on him. Wore him thin more than he ever let on to anyone but his therapist. And his therapist couldn’t seem to give him a better answer than to be patient and not give up hope.

By 2021, Harry had decided that maybe he was just meant to be alone. Love was something he could admire, but it wasn’t meant for him. He could chase it, but it would never let him have it. He was unlucky in love and by Sarah and Mitch’s wedding in the Spring, he had come to terms with it.

He had even been optimistic for it, being Mitch’s Best Man and all had gotten his hopelessly romantic heart all aflutter. He was introduced to Sarah’s Maid of Honor, Renee Williams and she had been lovely. She was 31, a little older than Harry - but age wasn’t something that deterred him, and she had worked with Sarah in Los Angeles before Harry recruited Sarah for the band. They were best of friends and Sarah had known for a long time that Renee would be her Maid of Honor.

When Harry met Renee, he was sure that she was meant to be his person. She was beautiful and hilarious, her beauty mark at the side of her lip was so utterly unique he called her a “right Marilyn”. She insisted she was not a Marilyn Monroe type at all and had laughed. Harry had charmed her with his expert flirting and claimed that just because she was a brunette didn’t mean she was a Marilyn. She had smiled and bantered through the rehearsal dinner with him at her side. He was entranced, it had to be Renee, he had been so sure of it.

When Renee had walked down the aisle just before Sarah, Harry had been sure of it. When Renee had smiled at Harry as Mitch slipped on Sarah’s wedding band, Harry had been sure of it. When he had hooked his arm around hers as they walked down the aisle and into a foyer, Harry had been sure of it. When she laughed at his jokes while they waited for their wedding party photos to be taken, Harry had been sure of it.

When Renee walked up to Harry at the reception with another man wrapped around her, Harry wasn’t so sure of it anymore.

“Harry, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Corey,” Renee smiles giddily between the two men.

Harry’s eyes widen slightly at the word ‘boyfriend’ and he swallows harshly before blinking and putting on a sweet smile. He thrusts his right hand out for Corey to shake.

“Hullo, mate,” Harry says happily.

Corey greets Harry, extending his hand to meet Harry’s with a warm smile and a “how are you”. Harry laughs boisterously and takes a sip of his champagne flute. They shake hands with a firm up and down motion.

“Planning on getting really drunk,” Harry says in response to Corey’s question. “Have a great night, you two,” he finishes and stalks off for a refill.

Renee watches him go with a little bit of a confused look on her face. She sees him tilt his head back and finish his drink before turning to face her boyfriend and peck his cheek. She mumbles to him, “He’s a really nice guy, wouldn’t stop chatting my ear off the past few days. All these people must make him antsy.”

He nods back to her, “They must.”

Harry sidles up to the open bar, discarding his empty flute and exchanging it for a much stronger drink.

“Tequila. Neat...Please.” He sighs and runs a hand through his curls that are slowly becoming less and less coiffed. His fingers slide to the collar of his shirt and tug, attempting to loosen it a little.

“Rough night already?” Someone asks from beside him.

His face turns to them and sees a smiling brunette. Her eyes are big, larger than most eyes he’s come across. They’re brown with tinges of gold and green, likely making them hazel by her standard since most people prefer saying hazel eyes to brown. Her smile is bright and clean and if Harry hadn’t already heard her speak he would assume she was American from that smile. It was perfect, too perfect - the teeth both straight and blindingly white.

He raises his eyebrows at her and thinks about his response. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, leaving them parted, but he remains silent when the bartender hands him his tequila. Harry wraps a specifically less ringed hand tonight, he had forgone his ‘H’ and ‘S’ rings as well as the rest of them actually on his left hand. His right hand still had two: the large flashing lavender gemstone encrusted in a gold casing from Stevie Nicks on his middle finger and then a clean gold signet ring with little crosses on the sides on the adjacent ring finger. Every other finger was noticeably empty. So when he picks up the glass there is no familiar clink which draws the attention of himself.

The woman doesn’t pay any attention to his hand, she’s still waiting for him to respond to her question, as well as waiting for her other drink to be made. She was taking advantage of the two drink system and getting two for herself right now, so she didn’t have to come back until much later.

“You have no idea,” is how Harry decides to respond and then turns to leave. He forgets about the woman and sits at his assigned table for his entire drink, talking casually with the people who come to speak with him.

When he's finished, he goes back to the bar to order a second tequila. He thinks about the girl who had stared at him with her big brown eyes. How she had seen him and thought to ask how his night was when it seemed to be going to shit. And how he had blown her off with barely a glance. God, he could be such a prick. After he receives his drink, he forgets yet again and continues to drown his sorrows in the golden liquid that helps him numb the pain that he had once again missed out on his fairytale love story.

The girl Harry had run into sat in the corner of the ballroom for the majority of the night. She settled on just having that first round of drinks for herself and one glass of obligatory champagne during the toasts. Other than that, she had promised herself she wouldn’t get drunk and go off with a random stranger. This was not a wedding for that. This wedding couldn’t be for that. She just needed to keep her head low and try to have a semi-pleasant time.

When she was nursing her champagne through the toasts, the man at the bar caught her eye again. She knew who he was. He was the Best Man after all. Sarah talked about him a lot, even Renee after the past few days, but seeing him at the bar had been the first time she’d ever seen him up that close. It was strange, he was so human. So tangible in that moment. His shoulders shook with each breath he took. His fingers tapped as they waited for his drink. His green eyes blinked and darted around as he took in his surroundings and even looked at her. He simply was and it had startled her to see him in a slightly bewildered state at the bar, but again, she wasn’t one to judge.

Get through the wedding. Try to have a semi-pleasant time.

It was time for the Best Man’s speech. Renee had just given the Maid of Honor’s and now Harry was up. He stood up and wavered a little as he tried to stand up straight. The neat tequila likely makes his stance a little harder to maintain. Mitch looks up at Harry at his side and smiles fondly.

Harry raises one hand in an awkward wave while the other is planted firmly on the table.

“Hullo,” he starts, “I’m Harry and I’m the Best Man, but I’m sure you knew that already.”

The entire group of guests laugh wholeheartedly, taken by the talented young man.

“To start,” he stutters, his words slurring slightly from the alcohol he’s had, and his smile slithers into a smirk. “Let’s hear it for the bride and groom, the lovely Sarah and Mitch Jones!”

Queue the laughter again. Harry laughs too when Mitch slaps his arm playfully, he turns to look at him with a mock ‘what did I do wrong’ expression.

“I had a speech written out, took a week to write, made it nice and poetic for these two lovebirds, but it seems I’ve misplaced it,” he pats at his pockets and sighs before rubbing his forefinger at his bottom lip. “I hate weddings.”

Everyone laughs again, thinking he’s joking. Harry grimaces but it passes as a smile even though she can tell it doesn’t meet his eyes.

He rambles on for a few minutes about love and commitment, how this is just the beginning for Sarah and Mitch and everyone laughs at the appropriate times and just when he’s wrapping up, successfully stumbling through his messy mind, everyone begins to clap.

“To the happy couple…” queue applause, but she sees him say something else, it’s drowned out by the crowd cheering and clinking glasses again.

He sits back down, downing his champagne glass that’s been refilled twice already during the speeches. Mitch leans over and whispers something in Harry’s ear as he twists a hand through his hair. Harry shifts away from Mitch and gives him a look, telling Mitch that he’s fine.

The party goes on, a few more speeches, a few more glasses of champagne for Harry, a few more sighs from the girl in the back of the room.

She watches the first dance of Mitch and Sarah but once that part is over she slinks off. She’s got half a drink left and all she wants is to be alone. Tired of the party, tired of the people, tired of having to try to have a good time. The Rowland-Jones Party had rented the entire place out, so she wanders out of the main room and down a hallway until the music is a faint buzz in her ear. The air grows colder as the amount of people dwindles from over a hundred to one.

There’s a door to her right that has an intricate golden handle that she pulls down on. It opens quietly onto a similar ballroom that is slightly smaller than the one the party was going on in. It’s quiet and spacious, her steps echo as she enters on heeled feet. The clicking of her satin stilettos resonate against the linoleum. She walks to the center of the room and turns around herself, lifting her head to the light in the room. An ornate chandelier is still above her, it’s the same gold as the handle that let her in. Her eyes travel to the walls that contain swirls of gold as well, everything was encrusted in gold and splotchy vintage mirrors. It was beautiful and she saw herself in the reflection of one of those splotchy vintage mirrors and actually felt beautiful in that moment.

No one else saw her but herself and she thought she was beautiful, a fleeting thought as she watched her body move. No one to watch as her reflection swayed with her. Her lavender dress swished back and forth, the end of it brushing around her ankles. The tulle fabric climbed her torso, cinching at her waist and draping over her breasts. The sleeves fluttered over her shoulders and ended midway down her upper arm. The somewhat sheer material made her tan skin look all the more carmely in the golden light of the chandelier. Her pendant necklace was silver and glinted in the light as it sat evenly over her exposed clavicle and decolletage.

In the corner opposite of the door there was a single table with three chairs. It seemed whoever was meant to put things away had grown tired and left these out. She wasn’t complaining as she crossed the floor to take a seat. It was the perfect escape. It was quiet and not too cold in the room, which was especially nice since she had left her jacket in the coat room. What wasn’t so nice is that her phone had died and she had nothing to do in the room. It wasn’t horrible though, she had wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She just feared what would happen if she sat alone too long with no escape of the internet to drown those thoughts.

That contemplation was squashed with an unwitting solution not ten minutes later. She had been sitting at the table, sipping her drink occasionally and staring at the chandelier. Sighing with content that it was finally silent beside the clink of her melting ice cubes. The house mixed drink was strong, but with each passing second it grew more and more diluted. She considered herself completely sober.

She only questioned that when she noticed a second person in the room. She hadn’t heard them open the door, but she heard their loud footsteps shortly after.

He all but stumbled in and was entranced by the chandelier like she had been. He walks to the center in a similar fashion and twists around, only this time his balance isn’t as good as hers. He ends up on his ass, legs splayed in front of him and hands behind him only cushioning his fall a little. He lets out a huff, “Fuck.” He runs a hand over his face before bringing it down to look around the room again. His eyes are foggy with alcohol, everything hazy and slightly blurry. It feels like he’s moving with superspeed but as she watches him with a tilted head she wonders why he’s moving so slowly.  

He squints while looking around after a moment, running a hand through his thoroughly tousled hair. His tongue comes to wet his lips, but this time it's for a touch too long like he’s genuinely tasting the liquor on them. She raises her brows, observing him, her presence seemingly unknown.

“Oi, you!” He slurs the words and points lazily at her reclined in her chair. “Are you real?”

She half smiles and replies with a simple ‘yes’.

“I like your dress,” he says merely like he was stating a fact rather than giving a compliment. His hair falling into his eyes again despite him just pushing it back.

“Thanks.”

He makes his way to standing, his process rather ungraceful. He twists onto his hands and knees and begins to push himself up. He slips once before making it to full standing, he sways slightly and looks around again like he’s forgotten why he stood up. His eyes land on her again and he decides to make his way over to the table.

“You should probably sit,” she says, watching him splay his arms around him to keep his balance. She had seen him an hour and a half ago and he seemed fine, but now he seemed absolutely and utterly pissed.

“Thanks, mum,” he says as he thunks into the seat beside her, his hand waving off her suggestion.

Her brows raise at the slightly rude comment, but she leans back in her seat still observing him.

“Why do you hate weddings?” She asks once he’s settled and has his head propped up with one of his hands. She takes a sip of her drink as she watches him scan her face again, trying to see if he recognizes her.

His mind must come up empty, a vague memory of the bar slipping away without a second thought.

“It was a joke,” he shrugs.

“No it wasn’t,” she replies easily.

His eyes narrow and he leans forward a little shakily, “Who are you?”

“Aurora.” She licks at her own lips, a stray bit of liquid lingering on her lips.

“That’s a Disney princess name,” he says, unconvinced, how most drunk people were when you told them the truth.

“And my great-grandmother’s and mine,” she responds, a grin playing on her lips as she watches him think it over. “It’s wild how multiple people can have the same name. Did you know people can share a last name as well?”

He leans back in his chair now, unhappy with her snarky response.

“Isn’t that why we’re here, two people joining together and sharing the same last name now?” He threads his fingers as he speaks, mimicking something coming together.

“Yep,” She perks at the question he poses. “You still didn’t answer my question.” Her brows raise once playfully.

“What?” Harry seemed to have lost the plot, his fuzzy drunken brain choosing to forget the first thing she asked him while in this private ballroom of theirs.

“Why do you hate weddings?” She repeats, louder and with emphasis, the words echoing this time.

“Oh,” he looks up to the ceiling and blows air past his lips harshly, “S’ a long story.”

“We got all night,” she offers, and raises her glass to her lips once again.

“A night wouldn’t even cover half of it,” he ponders seriously, his mind reeling. “I’d rather talk about you.”

“Why me?”  She laughs like she’s just received the most delightful surprise.

“Because,” He starts and then sits quiet for a moment before leaning forward, elbows on the table as he peers at her, “I think I’m in love with you.”

“You only just met me,” she responds. “Not to mention, you’re drunk as fuck, Best Man. Just minutes ago I watched you stumble in here and truly fall on your ass.”

“Then tell me about yourself and I’ll explain my hatred for weddings.”

“You’re awfully good at bargaining for being this inebriated.”

“I never lose my charm, no matter how pissed I may be,” he smirks and gives a sloppy wink, hair falling in his face yet again.

She scoffs, but she is rather amused and intrigued by the man beside her. His tie now completely loosened, hair falling every which way, and his green eyes set on her. The shiny shoes he wore slipped around on the ground as he shuffled his feet below him like a child wanting to go play. She figured it was just his drunk brain trying to amuse himself or something. How could she deny a man who had just drunkenly confessed his love for her at a wedding? Even if it was completely and totally untrue. She at least had to entertain the foolish notion that maybe he actually was interested in getting to know her. If anything, it would help pass the time until she could go home.

“I’ll bite,” she relents.

The smirk doesn’t leave his face, it only widens, “Only if I can, too.”

“I wasn’t saying-”

“Shush, sh-sh-shush. I know that,” he holds a hand up at her, trying to get her to be quiet. He sways again, even in his seat he looks as if he could fall over at any moment. She wondered if he might not remember this tomorrow. “I was bein’...” he licks his lips in a pause, “suggestive.”

She laughs again, knowing his sober brain probably would have chosen a more articulate and suave word since ‘suggestive’ was rather tactless and more straight to the point. If she learned anything from all the conversations she overhead about him, Harry was definitely one for tact.

“You were something, that’s for sure,” she wraps a hand around Harry’s wrist, she draws the hand down from its hovering state and lays it against the table again. She withdraws her own hand back to her glass, her drink almost completely gone now.

He smiles, pleased with himself, but unaware that his charms had worn off with his exorbitant amount of alcohol consumed. At least on this girl they weren’t working. She had never been attracted to people who were too drunk to help themselves and she always hoped that’s how others felt too. She was thankful he had stumbled in on her rather than someone who didn’t feel the same way. It made her sick to think of what someone with evil intentions might do if they came across a babbling drunken version of Harry. Pushing those thoughts away since that wasn’t the case, she decided to pat his hand once just in reassurance to herself and him that this was really happening.

“I’m twenty-five.” She states.

Harry nods, a small smile on his lips now rather than a smirk as he watches her again. He liked how smoothly she moved rather than the rest of the world in his drunken eyes, everything else was choppy and fast. She was elegant and fluid, calming even.

“I love love,” Harry says, eyes remaining on hers, no trace of a joke in his tone, “And it hates me.”

“That can’t be true,” she squints at him, a frown gracing her face for a moment at the sadness she sees in his watery eyes. Not crying watery, just watery from his drunken state.

He says nothing, waiting for her to offer more information about herself before he says anything else. This was the deal after all. She quickly realizes why he isn’t responding and sighs, conversation with drunks was tedious already, but Harry seemed determined to make it even harder.

“I’m from California.”

“They always are,” Harry mutters to himself. He ignores her hum of a question, asking what he just said with a simple sound. “All my friends, they’re either getting married or they’re already married and got kids on the way or whatever. They all found love and I’m just here with fuck all.”

She sincerely doubts what the drunken man is telling her right now, but she knows how to play the game now to get more information. “I hate my job,” she states.

“Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed, like I fucked up one too many times and now I’m doomed to never find love.”

Her eyes widen at this, he sounds so damn sad and she wishes she could take his pain away. She knew what a good guy and she couldn’t imagine why he would deserve to feel this way. No one deserved to feel like they weren’t worthy of love. His sad state truly almost brought her to tears. She’s there in a stunned silence and Harry is confused why she hasn’t said anything more about herself. It was her turn.

“What’s something else about you?” He asks, his hand fiddling with itself on the table. She notices once again that there aren’t as many rings on his fingers as what she thought was usual.

She licks her lips and reaches her hand forward. She grasps Harry’s fiddling hand and stops his movement. “I feel sorry that you feel this way, no one deserves the kind of pain you’re inflicting on yourself. I’m very very sorry for you, Harry.”

“That’s not really…” He trails off, losing his focus on her face and instead looking at their hands touching. The feeling is so intense in his buzzing body. Her touch was so calming compared to the electric feeling in his body. It felt nice.

“Can I ask you a different question and then I’ll tell you something no one knows about me?”

He nods eagerly.

“And you can’t dodge the question, you really have to answer it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“What did you say at the end of your speech? It got drowned out by applause, but I saw you say something.”

“You noticed?” He asks kind of surprised, then scratches at his eyebrow. He sees her slight glare and knows to get to his answer. “Asked when it’d be my turn…like to fall in love, y’know.”

She sighs, saddened yet again by his words. “Okay, well, here’s my secret... I hate weddings, too.”

Harry’s eyes light up, maybe he really was in love. She purses her lips and pulls back from him.

“I think you’re my soulmate,” he breathes out, again making a false confession. His drunken brain wants it to be true. He’s desperate for his search to be over, for her to be his person.

She smiles that same sad smile that she keeps getting when he says these sad things to her.

“I assure you, I am not, Best Man.”

He looks at her confusedly. She was beautiful, she was clarity to him. Her brown hair was straight with a little wave in it, like it was straightened for the occasion but never truly that way otherwise. It flowed around her head and shoulders, but she had it tucked behind both ears. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone, she just simply was beautiful. Her sun tanned skin looked soft under the golden glow and Harry was sure she was an angel or something.

“Why not?” He insists, leaning forward.

She stands up from her seat. He follows clumsily behind her, standing as well. He was still taller than her even in her high heels. He smiled like a lovesick child down at her, his eyes as big as the moon. She bites at her lip as she sees him look at her so lovingly, so misguidedly. Then she leans up towards his face, up on her tiptoes and past his lips. Her hands hold him straight with them curled in his suit’s lapels. She presses a sweet and gentle kiss to his cheek, closer to his jaw than anything.

“Good night, Harry,” she whispers against his skin before pulling away.

His eyes flutter open, his looks at her confusedly, slightly unaware that he had closed his eyes at all.

“Good night…” He had already forgotten her name, something with an A...or was it an O? He’d have to ask Sarah and Mitch about the girl who had talked to him in the empty golden ballroom, the girl he had fallen in love with. He was certain. She was the one - if only he could find out her name. If he remembered this at all or if he just thought it was a dream.

She leaves the room before him and as she leaves she wonders if she maybe should have made sure he was alright, but she figured their talk was sobering enough. The night was ending and she had a sneaking suspicion that there were plenty of people here tonight looking out for him.

-

Harry forgot about the girl in the ballroom. Or at least he wasn’t sure if it was a dream or reality. He had woken up at Tom’s place where he had said he would stay after the wedding reception so he hadn’t gone home with a girl. He couldn’t remember her name so he couldn’t really ask anyone about her and he didn’t exactly have a lot of people he could ask. He wanted to ask Sarah and Mitch, but they were already off on their honeymoon and he was one of those people who would never bother a couple on their honeymoon. He was too embarrassed to ask Renee and anyone else for that matter.

So, instead, he forgot. Harry forgot about her for three weeks until Sarah and Mitch returned. He had called them for a hike and lunch the moment their plane had landed. He had missed some of his best friends. It was a lull in the year, where he wasn’t touring or in the studio, just living and writing when he felt like it. So maybe he was in need of some inspiration.

“Ah! The Jones’!” He exclaims as he walks up to their parked car at the head of the trail.

Sarah laughs and Mitch rolls his eyes, half-heartedly since he’s just as happy to see Harry as Harry is to see him.

“I missed you,” Mitch says as he brings Harry in for a hug.

“Don’t let the missus hear that,” Harry tuts while he sends a wink over Mitch’s shoulder to Sarah.

“It’s all he could talk about for the past few weeks,” Sarah jokes as she goes in for a hug with Harry. “How do you think Harry is? Hope he’s eating? I miss Harry.” She mimics Mitch’s voice.

Mitch shakes his head shyly, a smile spreading on his face after a moment. “That. Is not true at all,” he assures Harry, “But you do look a little thinner. What have you been eating?”

Harry elbows him with a grin, “I’m fine. Been bored so I’ve just been filling the time with working out.”

They start their ascent up the hill and into the canyon. Mitch nods, his worry for his friend subsiding momentarily before he says something strange.

“I’ve been wanting to ask, but you’ve been gone, about a girl at the wedding.”

“Oh?” Sarah gives Mitch a knowing look.

“Yeah, well the thing is, I’m not sure if she was real or not. I think she was real, but I was so drunk, there’s so many bits missing in my memory.”

Sarah and Mitch both laugh. “You were very drunk, H,” Mitch confirms.

Harry ignores him, “I even asked her if she was real and she said yes, but y’know people can lie in dreams. All I remember is she was amazing and she had a princess name, I think.”

Sarah thinks about the guest list. “No princess names that I can think of. What did she look like?”

Harry squints ahead of them, his sunglasses pushing his curls back on the top of his head. “She had straight brown hair, not long or short. She said she was, uh, twenty-five. She was in lavender, I think.”

“You think a lot,” Mitch interjects which earns him a glare from Harry.

Harry thinks about this part that he remembered vividly, how she had been so confident that he wasn’t. He adds, “...And I told her I was in love with her.”

“Oh god, Harry,” Sarah sighs.

Mitch gives Harry an apologetic smile.

“She didn’t buy it, but she didn’t run off either. We talked for awhile.”

“Maybe it was a dream,” Sarah says.

“Okay, let’s see,” Mitch grows to be the leader of the investigation, wanting everything for his best friend to find the love he knew he deserved. “Twenty-five year old brunettes at our wedding who are single. C’mon there weren't that many people there.”

Sarah thinks about it again. “Renee’s sister is twenty-five. I don’t remember what she was wearing, I hardly saw her all night,” she pauses, “Which is strange since she wasn’t on the job for once.”

“What do you mean ‘on the job’?” Harry asks curiously, remembering his girl saying she hated her job.”

“She’s a wedding planner,” Sarah says, glancing at him because she was almost sure that Renee’s sister was not who Harry was talking about. “But she had referred me to someone else for the wedding, she consulted sometimes and got us a discount, but said she didn’t like working with people she knew personally.”

Harry nodded, how could Renee’s sister be his girl? How could a wedding planner hate weddings? And wouldn’t it be all the more awkward if the girl was Renee’s sister? Renee’s little sister, could it be? He had no clue.

“I don’t think it’s her, though,” Sarah gives a half-smile, “She’s not super...uh, how do I say this?”

As Sarah says “touchy-feely,” Mitch interjects.

“She’s pretty cold-hearted. She’s relatively nice, but what makes her such a good wedding planner is she doesn’t get caught up in the sentimentality of it, she just understands other people’s emotions and knows how to make them feel amazing.”

“That’s a little harsh,” Sarah looks at Mitch with a strong glare. After all, he was talking about her best friend’s little sister.

“Well, what’s her name?” Harry insists, semi-off put, but knowing her secret made him think it was possible for Renee’s sister and his ballroom girl to be the very same.

“Rori Williams, think it’s short for something else, but I don’t know, as long as I’ve known her she goes by Rori.” Sarah gives Harry a sad smile and it reminds him of his mystery girl.

“Do you think I could meet her or something? I just want to know if it’s her.” Harry says as they reach the first peak on their hike. He looks out at the view from there, Los Angeles was green for once, but he knew it would quickly fade to brown and tan as the spring plants died off again from the summer heat.

“Pretty sure she’s off working on some destination wedding right now. She doesn’t like being bothered when she’s working,” Sarah gives Harry a look for two reasons as she says that. One, because she knows his next question would be to contact her anyway. And two, she’s saying how he is exactly the same, hates being contacted when he’s busy with work. “I can text Renee to see what’s up.”

Harry nods, “Please…” He begins to imagine Rori as his ballroom girl and mutters to himself, “A June Wedding…” getting lost in a silly little daydream.

-

“Harry Styles is asking after you,” Renee snickers over the cellphone line.

“What is this? The 1800s?” Rori sighs, as she holds the phone to her ear with her shoulder. She tries to brush her hair from her face with a flick of her head, which makes for a rather silly sight as her head and shoulder move awkwardly. “People don’t ‘ask after’ anyone anymore.”

She was in Hawaii, Maui specifically, steaming a sneaky last crinkle out of the latest bride’s wedding veil.

“Well, he still is doing it. You know how he is.”

“I actually don’t,” Rori responds, easily, ignoring the memories of her two encounters with him. “What does he want?”

“Wants to meet you or something,” Renee says easily. “Thinks he met you at Sarah’s wedding, obviously impossible since I know you scampered off half way through the reception and he was falling down drunk at the half way marker as well…” she trails off.

Rori knows her sister well and expects the next thing to come out of Renee’s mouth.

“Oh my god! Did you hook up with him?!”

Expecting this, Rori responds quickly and calmly, “No, we did not hook up, I would never... I did watch him fall on his ass, though.”

“So it was you!”

“What was me?” Rori squints her eyes at her sister over the phone and finally straightens from her steaming task. She feels like she’s only half paying attention to the conversation, especially since she had no intention of meeting up with Harry. He had been so sweet and sad, and she truly wished him the best, but she knew she wasn’t the answer to his problem.

“You!” Renee all but yells into the phone, “Are his dream girl! He’s been wondering if you were even real for weeks.”

“I’m real,” Rori sighs and crosses the room she’s in to sit at the desk she was using as a work space. She flicks through the planner she was using for the Hearst wedding, set to take place tomorrow. “But I’m certainly not his dream girl...I told him that when he said he was in love with me.”

“He what?!” Renee exclaims and hears her sister sigh once again, she knows Rori is growing tired of the conversation and is ready to offer an excuse to hang up any moment now. “Nevermind that, I’m going to tell Sarah to give him your number and the date you get back to Los Angeles. Keep next weekend clear.”

Before Rori can open her strawberry pink lips to reply, Renee is squealing a goodbye and hanging up. She felt her shoulders sag with the empty line, she reclined into the nicely plush swivel chair. This is why she stayed out of love and relationships when they didn’t relate to work, they were exhausting. Too much ‘he said, she said’ going on at all times. Color palettes, seating arrangements and menus were simple, they made sense, they could be arranged and put into place. Relationships were messy, the actual event of a wedding could even be messy, but when she planned them out, for a single moment everything was orderly and simple. She was in control. She knew she couldn’t be Harry’s dream girl because she knew she couldn’t control that situation.

-

Upon arriving back in the continental United States, at the end of June, Rori ubered immediately to her apartment in Silverlake. Well, it was a converted garage behind a house of a friend of Renee’s. Like most apartments in Los Angeles, it was funky, but it was Rori’s until she decided where she wanted to move. She never wanted to buy in LA and she never wanted to upgrade from the place she had called home for the past four years.

Almost immediately after dropping her pink work tote bag and worn backpack on the floor next to her medium sized navy suitcase, her phone rang through the ‘Do Not Disturb’ setting with an unknown number. A New York number. Possibly a new client, she picks up quickly and shuts the window-paned door behind her. The days were long, the longest day of the year had almost arrived, yet the sun was still beginning to set in the sky and turn the light blue into a painting of oranges pinks and purples.

“Hello?”

“Is Rori Williams there?” A British voice asks, almost timidly.

“Who’s asking?”

“...Harry.”

“I was told you’d be calling or something along those lines,” she smiles to herself.

Harry sat in his room, chewing at his lip, still unsure if the voice on the other side of the phone call was the woman he had talked to previously.

“Can we go for a drink sometime? How’s tomorrow?”

“Someone is quite enthusiastic.”

“It’s just...I’m trying to figure something out.”

“So I’ve heard,” she chuckles slightly.

“So you won’t tell me whether you’re the girl I talked to at Sarah and Mitch’s wedding will you?”

“What would be the fun in that?”

“So it’s a right Cinderella, if the shoe fits situation,” he mumbles, slightly to himself, but she hears him clearly.

She laughs.

“I don’t really care for Cinderella, I’m not really one for Disney princesses at all, actually.”

His breath catches, a foggy memory of something having to do with princesses tries to break into his mind. He couldn’t remember still and he vowed time and time again that he would never get that drunk again. Too much time lost.

“Alright, Harry. I’ve just gotten home from a work trip so I’m planning on a bath, some wine, and some terribly raunchy TV to get my mind off of my life. How about you pick a time and a place for drinks and hopefully I will show up? Great! Goodnight.”

She doesn’t wait for a response, just clicks the red button that hangs up the phone and goes on with her professed plans. Harry sits in stunned silence for a few moments, whatever he had gotten himself into was going to be a ride of a lifetime.

-

At a quarter past six, Harry sits anxiously at the bar top of a semi casual, semi fancy, totally cool bar he loved. It was private so he wouldn’t be bombarded with people, but it was still lively enough that it wouldn’t be dead silent if conversation lulled between him and Rori. That is, if she showed up.

His foot begins to tap, ever so persistently against the silver footrest at the bottom of the bar. His eyes shift from right to left, not wanting to order a drink before she arrives, but also not wanting to wait much longer and not order a drink. He’d waived off the bartender twice already.

She walks in, right on time, Harry had just arrived early. Her lips part into a happy smile at his anxious stance at the bar, he mirrors her expression at the sight of her.

She’s wearing a billowy white button down, the sleeves cinching perfectly at her petite wrists, cinched beneath a brown corset-like tank top. Her breasts showed their true size today in this outfit. She had the collar pulled out and the corset made it so that her cleavage was perfectly sculpted just beneath the crisp white cloth. Her pants were sleek and black, understated to draw more of a focus to her top as well as the lavender jewel inlaid pendant hanging just above the swells of her breast. Harry’s eyes dipped to that level for a moment, but quickly recovered to focus on her face. The night of the wedding had been blurry, but he was sure Rori’s face was the one of his mystery girl.

He’s shy tonight and a little more reserved than last time. He’s out of his comfortable bubble, what could anyone expect from a man so constantly watched. He fidgets with the top most button of his shirt that was buttoned and thinks about unbuttoning it to reveal a little more of his chest, but he refrains. At a friend’s wedding he feels safe, but in public he’s always watching, always aware of the possible prying eye. But like he had said drunkenly to Rori, he always maintained his charm, no matter the circumstances.

“Lavender was gorgeous on you, but this…” he gives a graceful sweep of his hand to gesture at her outfit tonight, “is extremely enchanting.”

“So you remember me in lavender? I thought you couldn’t remember me at all.” She grins as she stands directly beside him, similar to the first time they had chatted at a bartop.

Harry clears his throat at her tease, “I knew once I laid eyes on you, I would know. So now I know.”

She smirks at his reasoning and orders a vodka cranberry, both not wanting to get off her ass or look any certain way. Vodka cranberries were acceptable mature drinks, but not overly pretentious in any way. Harry tells the bartender to make it two. She looks at him with a discerning eye.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” She asks as she slides into the bar seat that seems to be trying to look vintage but was likely made no less than five years ago.

Harry sits too, more easily since his legs are longer than hers. “We met in the ballroom for the first time, did we not?”

“No...we met at the bar in the reception room.” Her hand splays to feel the stone of this counter, cold unlike the wood of the previous one. “We were about this close after you’d rudely stepped ahead of me and ordered before I could...not that you noticed. I asked if you were having a rough night and you pretty much dismissed me.” She bites her lip as she tells him the story, her eyes widen as she watches the distress roll over his features at what she says.

“Oh god,” One of his hands reaches to grab her hand to emphasize his apology, “I’m so sorry, that’s so rude. I was having quite a rough night as you would eventually see.”

He stares at her face, trying to meet her eyes, but she’s glued to the sight of their hands intertwined. He was so smooth and it was making her melt, making the walls she had purposefully put up for this date weak. She had rules, especially for guys like Harry - not that there was anyone that compared to him in her life, but she had them and she knew she couldn’t just be swept off her feet by his sweet voice and gorgeous face that has the most puppy-dog look on it.

She knows she shouldn’t but the extra ice she had added to her personality melts away, her eyes going slightly moony as she watches him visibly relax again. “No worries, I enjoyed your company upon the second meeting, even if you didn’t even remember my name after it.”

“Well,” he finally catches her eye, “That’s where I have a bit of a bone to pick.”

“Oh?”

“You didn’t tell me your real name...gave me some fake name I can’t even remember, but it certainly wasn’t…” His eyes shift to her pendant again and he looks back at her brassy eyes in the bar’s lighting. “If your name is Rori Williams, why is your pendant an ‘A’?” He says slowly, another foggy memory trying to break the surface of his knowledge but still failing.

She finally feels in control of the situation, calm and assured of herself, which was maybe unfair since it seemed Harry really had a hard time remembering that night and she could really fuck with him if she wanted to, but she wouldn’t - couldn’t - with those earnest eyes looking at her.

“I told you my real name the first time we talked, Harry. It’s Aurora,” she retracts her hand from beneath his grasp and touches at the necklace, “I go by Rori both socially and professionally, but officially it’s Aurora and this had been my great-grandmother’s. I don’t go anywhere without it.”

“Almost as beautiful as its wearer,” he smirks, his gaze stuck on her face, attempting to convey something specific. She thinks she knows what he’s saying with his look.

“You’re quite the flirt,” she rolls her eyes playfully before specifically choosing to take a sip of her drink through the little straw the bartender had put in it. It draws Harry’s attention to her lips, and after a moment they were wet with a bit of excess vodka cranberry and Harry felt himself grow a little hot at the tips of his ears when her eyes meet with his. She had caught him staring, but he recovers easily.

“I remember telling you I never lose my charm, it’s true is it not?” Harry inquires, head leaning closer to her as he takes a sip of his own drink, making a show to lick his lips after removing them from the edge of the lowball glass.

Her laughter is loud but not overbearing, Harry thinks it’s the best laugh he’s ever heard even if she’s laughing at him. She’s true in that laugh, she’s not trying to make him fall for her with that laugh, it’s just her enjoying herself.

She responds with something sweet and the two begin the back and forth of a successful date. They both drink around three drinks as the night persists, but it’s enough for her to feel the burning pull inside the pit of her belly for Harry. His hands stay relatively to himself besides a few subtle touches at her hair and hands every so often, his feet are the ones to blame. At one point in the night, he hooks his loafer covered foot around her ankle and she is quick to lean into it, reciprocating the footsie with ease. Each brush of his leg against hers is electrifying, every nerve in her body was beginning to go crazy. She was buzzing in a way that she hadn’t when she had first encountered Harry. Tonight he was more suave, but with a tinge of timidness that made him irresistible.

Harry made sure he wouldn’t get drunk tonight, ordering only as much as Rori. He didn’t want to be the fool who couldn’t remember their time together, again. Plus, he didn’t want to forget any of their time together, he wanted to remember it all. Everything about her was amazing, the feeling he had about her, the nagging desire to meet her was for a reason, he was sure of it. If her voice was a melody, then she was the most beautiful love song he had ever heard.

At 11:30, he leans in close to Rori, his nose brushing at the hair tucked at her ear and asks her if she wants to leave. She looks at him confused, the warm feeling in her stomach falls because she thinks he wants to end the night.

“Oh,” she says dejected, she swore it was going well. “Right..That’s it.”

Harry’s brows crinkle at her sad face.

“No, love, I was saying,” he raises his brows, “Y’know.”

“Oh! Right! You just sounded so...I don’t know, serious.” She sinks in her seat, realizing her presumptions had been wrong.

“I was trying to be,” he twists his lips trying to find the word, as blush rises on his cheeks. “Seductive.”

The two of them are quickly realizing they can’t pretend with each other. Rori can’t keep up the harsh facade against love with him, he sees right through it. Harry can’t play his old tricks with her, she sees right through them.

She laughs again, “Well, it just sounded like you were bored. Sometimes your moves fall really flat.” She offers a sweet wink in consolation for his failed attempt at trying to really get her weak in the knees.

They were a lovesick mess together as they clambered off their bar seats and exit the bar that had gotten increasingly loud.

“So what’s next?” She asks on the warm summer night.

He steps closer and takes the liberty of fiddling with the strap of the corset she has on. His head is tilted down as he towers over her. “You know me Rori, I’m a hopeless romantic so I desperately want to take you out for dinner sometime and slow dance with you until the sun comes up, but,” his breath fans over her face now as he shifts impossibly closer, “I also want to grip your hair as I watch you writhing underneath me. Just tell me what you’d prefer and it’s all yours.”

Her breathing has become a slight pant as his words wash over her. His nose brushes over the ridge of hers and she takes the moment to put her hands on his shoulders and pull him onto her. They were in the alleyway beside the bar, away from prying eyes except a few people too drunk to recognize Harry's face that is all but hidden in Rori.

“Harry,” she breathes, her eyes fluttering shut as she makes the decision to cross them into the point of no return. She wants this too much. She hadn’t thought this would be how her night would go, thought she would brush him off and never see him again, but god, she needed his warm body everywhere. Needed him to touch every part of her.

“Rori,” he responds.

“I want the second one first,” she whispers, feeling a little too eager, but feeling Harry press excitedly against her reassures her.

His lips press a searing kiss to her and she makes a sound of happiness at the contact. Her hands fist at the fabric of his shirt as she presses her lips feverishly back onto his. Harry’s quick to grip at the back of her neck and the small of her back, keeping her tight to him as he licks into her mouth.

“Can still taste that last vodka cran,” he notes before kissing her again.

Their tongues rub against each other, sloppily but with a tenderness hidden there as well. She snorts at his words which makes him smile and they’re kissing is becoming more silly as they try to contain their laughter. He pulls away, finally giving up trying to maintain the kiss while they both laughed.

“Would you like to come back to mine?” Harry asks as he leans his forehead against hers.

Rori’s eyes flicker open and stare into his, the focus only on his eyes and the sprinkle of light freckles and beauty marks below them. She nods her head, making his move with it. They both smile, trying to contain their laughter once more.

She presses her lips against his once more for a small peck and then lowers her head into the crook of his neck. The skin warm and smooth against hers as she whispers happily to him.

“It’s your turn now, Harry,” Rori says blissfully.

She had been the answer to all his questions.

-

[still-a-morosexual-help]

As someone who sometimes enjoys angst a lot of people use it as a way to cope with things in their life.

For me I like mc angst sometimes becuase I sometimes feel like I'm not allowed to be sad, I sometimes feel like my depression must be fake somehow becuase my life isn't bad enough to warrant me having depression even though I know that's not how it works.

Replacing mc with myself in angst on my bad days can make me feel, idk, validated for being the way I am sometimes?

And when its not mc or reader and its a character angst, reading something that makes me feel sad can also make feel like I actually have reason for being sad in the moment.

It can be a way to get out that sadness that im feeling in the moment in a way that doesn't involve me, in a way that doesn't involve self-deprecation.

Just thought I'd explain why some people enjoy angst, I know not all angst readers are like me but ice seen quite a few who are!

Hi! That's totally understandable! And I'm really happy you're able to use MC as a way to help with what you're feeling! And you said you already know this & you probably won't really care about hearing this from a stranger and ik (from personal experience) how hard it can be to believe it or even if you realistically know it's true how you can sometimes have a hard time accepting it but I want to say it out loud for anyone who needs to hear it today (& maybe a little bit for me too):

you don't have to fill a quota for your depression to be valid. It doesn't always need an actual reason to affect you and it's real because the things it's making you feel are real. Pls take care of yourselves💕

-

Back to the angst thing...

I'm not sure where I said I don't like or enjoy angst tbh....cause I read a lot of it myself too....

Hell, I write it too. I wrote some for MC & Mammon though I gave them all soft, mushy endings cause I can't stand to keep them hurting and I wrote darker, angsty ones before I got into OM! Not all of them are tagged as angst but they do all fall into the category and I always write them as a way to de-stress?? As a way to let it all out when things have been bad? I usually make the fics darker than what I'm feeling, I think as a way to make my own problems/feelings seem smaller

I don't really do self-inserts but when I'm feeling miserable I tend to read about fictional characters hurting so I can have a good cry about them instead of thinking about my own problems/feelings

Though sometimes it won't even depend on my mood and I'm just craving it for no reason

Usually I opt for angst with a happy ending but there are times when I prefer it to end sadly? Usually though, I only prefer fics that end sadly that are below 5k words, cause if I'm investing anymore time in a fic then I want a happy ending... (yes yes given that I have a 6.7k fic that ends in character death with a 2.7k alternate pov for that fic I am being a hypocrite)

Somehow, while I (somewhat rarely - only when I want to cry) read fics with a sad ending I completely avoid fics with bittersweet endings cause I can't handle that uncertainty

I don't really read OM! angst though, but I do come up with with angsty scenarios/headcanons relating to OM! when I'm at my lowest points. Nothing better than hurting Mammon to forget about the real world, have a long cry and then become emotionally numb for the next 24 hours :D

So yeah, I definitely understand where you're coming from when you say angst helps people cope with life & I do really enjoy it too

hope you have a good day nonnie♡

[jjuuppiter]

Hi. Sorry if I’m speaking out of turn but I saw your post and elitism reblog and thought I’d chime in, as a former member of the fandom who has been lurking around recently. Disclaimer I don’t speak for OP but it seems like OP might have been from the first few years of the fandom’s existence based on what they said in the post so I’d like to offer some context that could have led to OP’s “bad” take.

There was a lot of crap going on behind the scenes or on social media with Astruc and Zag that led to folks disliking both the show for its narrative choices and the creator/staff (around S1-S2, years 2016-2018). No details to share, just know many were often at odds with Astruc and/or Zag as early as 2016 (ML premiered late 2015).

So it’s difficult to blame them for being bitter or hyperbolic because at the time, we were given this idea it would be a great story based on its premise. then S2 rolled in and we were often disappointed by story decisions or what appeared to be regressions of character development. In other words, promises not delivered, expectations not met, money over quality. It got to a point some of us were able to point out which episodes were done by the cheaper studio and which were by SAMG cuz the cheaper one often had inferior animation.

There was also a ton of fandom discourse regarding the sexualization of the characters, with many people on both sides of the issue. Some of the most popular fics *at the time* were rated M or E (like that one BDSM aged-up fic or the one where teenage Adrien had no idea what a woman’s period was and part of the fic was just them getting into very sexualized situations). Heck, there was so much discourse on Gabrienette (yes Gabrienette). Idk how things are now wrt fanfiction or the state of the fandom but that was what it was like when I was around. I suspect that’s why some people have since stereotyped the ML fandom as people who like sexualizing teenagers in fic. Cuz the fics (and art) at the time often did it, esp prior to the Tumblr Purge of 2017. The word “p*dophilia* got thrown around a lot too.

Now that the fandom is so big though, it’s hard to generalize the whole community or even to take issue with elitism 😅 (elitism was also something talked about during my time...it was no use). Now some folks who may be coming back probably do prefer just the fan art and AUs. But that’s them.

Again, I’m sorry if I’ve spoken out of turn. You may ignore this ask if you’d like and esp if you already knew everything I talked about 😅

hey thank you anon for telling me the early years of the fandom! i only casually watched the show for s1-s3 so i didnt know what was happening in the fandom before and i dont follow any of the creators of the show since i dont want my feeling fot the show to be influencd by them.

about fanfictions... im not gonna say much... but every fandom has their fair share of questionable fanfics and i think it's not something we can control anymore... people will write what they wanna write

and yep the person maybe doesnt have any ill intention when posting it but i still feel it's not right for them to generalize (and kinda mock) the whole ml fanfictions community even if they are a veteran... because tbh i found a lot of good fanfics from 2016 that i think are wholesome and arent sexualized at all... so i believe even in the early year of the fandom there were a lot of good contents too ^^

sorry if i said something wrong! this is just my opinion as one of the rookie mlb fans ^^

[izzyliker]

hey - this is one of the mods of the bi jon project. we don't actually dislike or disagree with pan jon at all, we just want to make a project focused on and celebrating bisexuality. our carrd is a bit rambling, but frankly we were trying our best/overcompensating to try and make sure people didn't misunderstand us and do - well, this. our intentions are good, and it's really kind of disenheartening to see all the hate we've gotten for what was meant to be a positive project. (1)

you're under no obligation to answer these, but i saw some of your posts in the tag and felt like reaching out because you did give us even the tiniest bit of slack in good faith. honestly, if you have any advice about what in our carrd is so overwhelmingly bad, we'd be happy to hear it. we've been trying to respond to the overwhelming amount of criticism we've got in a positive way, and take peoples' suggestions. (2)

as for why 'no anti-antis' was at the bottom of our rules list, it's legitimately bc we were trying so hard to be preventative about this negativity that we forgot to add it when we first posted the blog, and just remembered later. again, you're under no obligation to answer these, i just feel like no one's really actually letting us defend ourselves/are taking things in as bad faith a way as possible. (3)

im not exactly sure how the posts showed up in the tag bc ive been very purposefully not tagging them, also ive blocked all of you back (not sure why you blocked me if you actually want feedback, so it seems more like you just want free positive pr and not actual feedback) so its unlikely youll see whatever it is that i reply to this but whatever. 

the issues have all been repeatedly brought up to you so i dont really see how me repeating all of them once again could help. when i last looked at the cardd the things that stood out immediately included. 

pitting ace & bi identities and people against each other REPEATEDLY,  

starting off with a guilt trippy tone and maintaining it throughout (in my experience this is the #1 best way to receive backlash because people do not want to participate in events where you feel like youre being guilted into it, which going into scrutinizing detail over there not being enough content and passing judgement onto authors or artists over it is something that comes across as guilt trippy.),

repeatedly equating asexuality with sex repulsion (not to get into the misleading information about modteam aspec identity breakdowns, since you claimed that 3/4 of the team are aspec, which is technically correct, but what you didnt say was that only one is acespec. surely you know that [allosexual] aro and [alloromantic] ace are not interchangeable) and calling using biromantic over bisexual a “misunderstanding” of the identity as if how to define romantic vs sexual attraction (how to divide, if or if not to divide, use interchangeably different labels) isnt a deeply personal choice ace people who experience romantic attraction make, 

claiming that bisexual jon is canon (he isn’t. this is why people are suspicious of anti-other mspec identities sentiments. which theyre right, if youll be so kind as to stick around til the last paragraph) and repeatedly implying that the reason there isnt “enough” content centering bi jon because the aces are simply unable to not fixate on his asexuality (again, pitting identities against each other),

making the banned ship list way needlessly confusing and including ships that dont even include jon to it, which simply comes across as some kind of a list of bad ships, idk. a way to bypass this would simply be to say “we are looking for portrayals of healthy relationships!” and that couldve just been it. if you felt that that wouldnt exclude specific ships (eg. jondaisy that a lot of people write as a relationship between trauma survivors who have done very bad things trying to get better and learning to trust each other) it is possible to simply say “the modteam is squicked[/triggered] by ships with daisy/elias/peter and we’d like to read all of the works submitted so we’re asking not to receive submissions with those ships.” hating ships is literally completely normal but making rules hard to parse is going to attract questions, especially when the implication is that ships are excluded on the grounds of morality, and a blatant power difference ship (jonelias) is equated with jondaisy, which is from what ive seen almost exclusively shown to be a relationship between equals. that makes people EXTREMELY confused about where the line is. thats why youre getting so many questions about this.  

in general the carrd was spotty, guilt trippy, and needlessly moralizing where it definitely did not need to be. the key to getting people to engage without getting backlash is to make the event seem fun. when your carrd is filled with stuff about unrelated negative stuff people are not going to think it’s a fun event at all. 

and none of this even gets into the fact that at least one of the mods has a history of open hostility against pan people. i heard through the grapevine that he has since made a fauxpology about it, but frankly it already shone through in the language used in the event descriptions. its extremely hard to take any of this is good faith when it is easy to see that one of the organizers is quite fucking clear about thinking pansexuality is biphobic and the carrd is or at least used to be full of anti-pan (and other mspec identity) dogwhistles, and is notorious in some of the tma fic author circles for being extremely fucking nasty about trans men writing fic he doesn’t like to the point of pretending that we’re all cis people (in case youre not keeping track that is misgendering us by implication) because he doesn’t like it. i think some of you (or maybe all of you? idk) in general could stand to examine whether your engagements and participations in the fandom have been at all about having fun or adding positivity to anything, or simply making posts about what other people are doing wrong. it seems that every post i see from anyone in this group is guilt trippy and authoritative, and sadly this translated directly into the event. 

when youre, say, a trans man whose first touch to one of the mods was a post about how fic where trans men have piv sex with cis men is hurting him personally and making it a moral issue and not a matter of a simple preference to the point where he feels comfortable making claims about the trans men (and transmasc nonbinary people) writing fic about trans characters re: their gender or whether theyre fetishizing trans men, your willingness to engage in good faith with an event hosted by him that features numerous red flags is not going to be unconditional. 

im sorry to hear that it has been bad for your mental health, and idk whats fucking going on with this event anymore, but my good faith interpretations have diminished significantly since i saw the shit tmc specifically has been saying about pansexual people and pansexuality as an identity label. i have no clue where the rest of you stand but tmc has repeatedly, consistently shown himself to be unable to act in good faith towards anyone other than people who agree with him.  

[sukirichi]

Here’s the Part 2 of my long ass chat—hehehe

Okay but I saw ideas for spinoffs of Reckless Universe—Ever since reading the manga I stan Aniki Choso, a brother like him please 🥺, Bratty Heiress Reader x Bodyguard Toji (very excited for this one, it’s not everyday someone makes reader to be bad and annoying) AND Supermodel Chose x Rival Model Reader, has piqued my interest.

Imagine Bratty Heiress Reader was actually arranged for Gojo of Reckless but they both denied each other and just decided to mischief together, making Toji jealous—Im sorry Im such a sucker for jealous and comfort fics—ehe—also fluff I suppose—

OKAY BUT THIS IS BC I BARELY SEE FLUFF WITH THE DILF GUYS, except for Ms. Vi’s (violettelueur) blog, but I guess they’re called DILFs for a reason hahaha BUT Celebrity Sukuna x Fan Reader, I have a feeling there’ll be angst like usual

BUT I ALR Imagine, Sukuna finding Fan Reader as a pain, but since more annoying female celebrities keep throwing themselves, I bet he uses reader as an excuse, but I can also imagine Sukuna having side chicks with more refined and sexier female celebrities prolly dating them Idk if he’d do it tho, since Sukuna can be so unpredictable—like u and ur fics

I have been debating whether I rewrite my old stories tho, my old stories were very cringey tbh, they were solely based on my feelings and imagination yet it had a lot of reads in wattpad, I was thinking of revamping it with better logic since Im older but idk if I’ll be able to keep up with updates, since I usually write based on my mood, I honestly don’t know how u update so consistently and it’s very commendable

or If I write more fluffs for the guys I love HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, or do both, if I’ll be able to keep up with doing both, I honestly do not know

That’s all for me, Im rlly sorry for my long ass chat/response/ask

- 🎧

i love choso-nii 🥺💕 omg yes yes!! i am also super excited for the bratty heiress x bodyguard toji series because uhm 👀 toji is a good brat tamer TELL ME I’M WRONG ASDHDLAL. his patience as a bodyguard is immense too, especially bcos bratty heiress reader likes to make it their job to make his job a lot harder. cue lots of sexual tension and mutual pining and i am GONE. and omg i like that; jealous bodyguard toji will have a dose of angst in him bcos he thinks to himself why would you like him when you could have anyone else? he doesn’t really enjoy your lavishness or likes partying with you and your friends; bodyguard toji prefers the moments he’s alone with you and you’re just bickering, but then he reminds himself you don’t really like him, that you’re just flirty and teasing by nature, that you just like messing around with him, calling him reliable and strong and handsome and he finds it funny because for such a strong and intimidating bodyguard, he sure struggles to protect his heart from your mischievous smile.

omggggg now you got me on a brainrot for celebrity sukuna and fan reader 😫 thats true, he would fin fan reader a pain with the heart eyes and excited giggles. lowkey uses fan reader as a way to ward off other people flocking over to him but keeps sa safe distance from you anyway because you look you’re going to eat him, which, by the way, the flattering attention secretly strokes his already impossibly huge ego, not that he’d ever tell you that. celebrity sukuna wonders to himself just when he started to realize your presence is tolerable and you’re actually genuinely sweet, appreciating him as his true self and not just his appeal as an actor. mayhaps . . . celebrity sukuna slowly declining party invities, stops seeing others and becomes more private with his life, his appearances on parties and scandals decreasing, all because he can’t wait to come home to sweet fan reader who is patiently waiting for him with warm hugs and netflix on play where you binge his movies just bcos he likes seeing himself and goes all soft and mushy when you don’t get tired of complimenting how impressive he is.

hmm as for your stories, its really up to you! sometimes i also take old ideas from my cringe writing phase where i hadn’t honed my writing skills yet because now i have the confidence and ability to turn it into something great. and no worries about that, the foundation of storytelling are emotions and imagination 💕 and aww thanks so much, i update consistently bcos writing just feels natural to me and i really do love it! what i love becomes a habit so cough cough loving naoya cough cough

you can do both!! there’s no need for you to ‘keep up’ bcos you should go at a pace you’re comfortable with! assuming that this is also writing as a hobby, don’t pressure yourself with anything bcos what’s most important is you enjoy it! you can work your way into it so you can see what works for you, but really, don’t fret too much becos its all about finding joy in what you do and doing what you enjoy! sometimes thinking too much about it takes the joy away do i prefer being no thoughts head empty just writing about naoya’s tiddies only 🤤 and hahahaha no worries, i’m okay with long asks and i’m glad you’re feeling better now! don’t get sick anymore, okay? or i will bonk you !!

[millipop]

you know, it's astounding how quickly watching two vaguely campy cdramas with imperfect plotting and gay censorship but dedication to giving a good, loved story has gone a long way to healing me from the utter letdown/mess/heartbreak/slow car crash that was watching the 100 for 5/6 years

not even talking about the last season in general but even just focusing on the ending jrot decided on and how it was utterly devoid of joy and hope and any lasting morals. the bleakness of the idea of the last of humanity living out their days on a random beach without any hope for the future or hope for humanity..i can't even begin to understand what message they thought they were trying to send but it makes me depressed just thinking about it

and on the other hand you have these two random almost gay cdramas i stumbled upon by a friend finally succeeding in catching my interest. they are both based on books where characters are just as morally grey and tragic and yet even though the tv adaptations have to cancel the gays getting their novel-based canonical happy ending, they still manage to stay true to characters and story and deliver an ending that might break your heart but Makes Sense.

even in the ultra campy one riddled with plot holes and terrible cgi, and the two main characters literally dying in the end, there's such hope and humanity in the ending that you're crying out of sadness and happiness. the characters' deaths are Meaningful and add so much to the story and development of their character, and it literally ends with a nod towards them reincarnating and meeting again. like you can still have tragedy with hope infused! it's possible!!

and in the untamed there's so much tragedy in that story it hurts like it really is so bleak at times and yet the ending is so beautiful while being slightly open-ended that people literally write fic in the universe with that ending as opposed to the novel's where they get married bc there's so much rich opportunity to develop on what's there, to see characters heal and grow and reunite and love again after so much hurt

i haven't seen a single fic using the 100's ending without changing some major aspect of it (ie bringing bellamy back) because it's just lifeless. dead. there's nothing to build on, no character development to continue, nothing. that show will fade into oblivion being nothing but a letdown for both sides of two armies invested in it and for what? idk it just makes me mad how much potential that show had and it was just so. so badly ended. like actively terrible.

anyway i barely read fics for t100 anymore and am not currently working on my fic and that makes me sad in a way, and maybe I'll come back to it but idk im just constantly thinking about how two shows strangled by the government into not getting the Main Couple together still made it work and then there's this show where everything was ripe for the taking and everyone (including the network, probably) would have preferred you to just work with the story you had instead of holding a middle finger up to your fans while the ship (lol) is sinking and they were m/f for fucks sake literally no government is stopping that from happening oh my god...

anyway can you tell i have anger

[this-is-my-main-i-follow-from]

i just sepnt WELL OVER AN HOUR working on stuff that doesn’t even work

I’m SO FUCKING MAD I WANT TO FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY preferably me & I’M ALSO APPARENTLY ON MY PERIOD? WELL NO WONDER I’VE BEEN DEPRESSED AS HELL THESE DAYS!

I honestly wonder what heppened i CANT EVEN FRICKING SLPEL what hallened to make me get emotional like this while menstruating. I never had this problem before. Al lmy weird emotions just came from the fact that I find them annoying & uncomforable & painful & groww & dysphoria inducing 

Well

Maybe my doctor will listen to me if I tellhim tht yeah my period makes my fricking suicidal it makes me want to relapse into self harm huh tht’s bad? well mabye you should let me transition then you crow begotten maggot filled barely wualified doctor!

I’m giving up on in trousers

in trousers is dead to me

so are whizzer (it’s funny bc he’s actually dead) & blowjobs & music & swing dancing

all gone

yy IT’S just me accidentally hitting the caps lock button instead of the a button because tha’ts thust what I need

This is why I want to fond a good drug dealer. I want to be able to control my anti depressants as I see fit & take extra stimulants when I need them & get access to blCK market testosterone & stuh up everyone around my what’s not even a song you’re just whistling nothingnessss

I just want to cry

but I never cry

so

well

too bad for me

maybe if ai can’t cry through my eyes i can cry through my skin

borine

ihate how I groip on to these things that happened whan I was a kid. like in 2nd grade I was the best speller & the teacher would sen kids to me to help them spell their words. I used to read nocels in one sitting by staying up all night just to read. I used to be flexible & thin & active & I could plaay on the moneky barfs & go climbing in the mountains but now I can’t to any of thar. It’s not even that in 2nd grade I was at 3rd grade level & now everyone in total is past 3rd grade level it’s that if I was  at 2nd grade level now i’m at 1st grade level. How is it that people get worse? it doesn’t maek any sense, ppl should be improving constantly that’s what makes a good story, scharacter growth, development, improvement. but of course then they get perfect & boring but you don’t want to undo all your work & besides people don’t go backwards so whu I am going backwards>

I somtedimes just want to die but I know that in general that’s not a good idea

but like

in times like this I see how much I’m astruggling instead of blinding myself to my issues with anti depressants & anti anxietyes & please jp shut the fuck up your whistling is so damn painful i forget what i was saying so I’ll just leave this here & maybe to idk watch youtube or write a fic or no none of that i don’t want to do anything I just want my things to be fixed but u know what even than I don’t think I would want to get back into working on it. im not particularly interested anymore fucking adhd i had the motivation to do smth I thought would be really cool but now looking back it’s not even that cool & it’s unfinished & it’s just iknda fully shitty overall and i need to use words because k an d i need to think m these sounds or say them otherkwise my mouth gets anxiety which doesn’t make sense but idk why i need to make d these sounds fuck this im just g so mad g k ng b d why i hate making useles sounds it doesn’t make sense why am i getting tics i thought I was done with those & moving bak on to some other side effects which b k g ng nmara ok kk kng move over in cycles bc the meds make no sense idk what i was saying but juct cux gkmnlrg siblings were talking 7 being annoying nobody can read this anymore esp w.o grammar & puinctuation hoh lool ka da na ma ga re fa rha la ya words i need to say lol why do I need o say them?? I wonder if I ever commit a murder I would be deemed insane? 

[traineecryptid]

fic tropes tier list

as tagged by @xcziel here

i don't go by tropes much when im writing other than to say...like knock out a few ala bingo cards for my own enjoyment of having like 10 common fic tropes but what if they were in SPACE (not that ive done it, i just thought about it extensively)

as for when i am reading...same? (tho i also dont go by writer like x does) the reason for "ohh shiny" activation varies so much.

(also these tags? #kinda want a writer challenge where they have to take a person's 'nope' tropes and write them something #that they will actually somehow like using knowledge of their most loved tropes - talk about tough audience INTRIGUING like a very dangerous game of office secret santa)

(uh tagging...idk i think the people i know are all ald tagged. but feel free to participate how ever much (or less) you like!)

anyways lets begin!

ranks within ranks: most loved to least loved, reading from left to right and top to bottom.

S tier: Shoes off, I'm dancing barefoot cuz that's how much I am enjoying this

1. Magic AU: the range on this is insane. can't love it anymore. also i love the imagery of people charged up like a lightbulb, hair floating up as they go into like god-mode.

2. Gen fic: underappreciated. looks bland but it is like rice. goes with anything. i love to explore things from angles that do not center on a character and their relationships with things. also im very much team small caring gestures>big romance. LOVE IS FOUND EVERYWHERE AND I USUALLY WALK AWAY LOVING LIFE A LITTLE MORE

3. A/B/O: gender fucks. end of story. i did a bit of unconventional a/b/o exploration a while ago and i still have quite a bit of the prompt lists to go and id love to get back on it.

A tier: Always down to boogie, classic go to-s

4. PWP: the range on this is also very good. also usually not very long. just a perfect length for me to chug a drink to.

5. Dark fic: this is a recent (re)discovery. apparently i like it when things go beyond normal levels of leveling. bring on the violations of morals, the tough decisions and off the charts reasoning. would rank higher but loses points for making me have Emotions sometimes.

6. Established relationship: it could go wrong...or it could get even better! this is also a recent discovery and i will credit it to "growing up". there is just inherent comfort in exploring what comes next after the happily-ever-getting together.

7. First kiss: emotionally charged. its nice. sometimes its about the nervous giggles, sometimes its about the relieved sigh. nice all around.

8. Canon divergence: canon hurted you? just say no thank you and reframe it. this may cause /more/ hurt. ye be warned.

9. Cross-over: re: range and potential; there are a few that are always le classique for me- pacific rim, his dark materials, sense8,detroit: become human, heaven official's blessing/tgcf. im sure there are more but i wont go into details, tho i will note that i prefer the more AU side of things over the fusion side of things.

10. Drunken confession: it is about the plausible deniability and perhaps the morning after regret (not necessarily needed)

11. Amnesia fic: it funny. i say, only because if i think too hard about the consequences of that, it hits a bit too close to home. will cry if this explores Emotions.

B tier: Boogie! Together!

12. Humor: love it, but best enjoyed when other people also find it funny. which is a think i worry about a lot. what if they don't find it funny!

13. Crack fic: i am a big fan of "crack taken seriously" because nothing is funnier than treating a Very Weird Situation earnestly. only ranked lower than humor because i am even more afraid of someone going "i don't get it" on these.

14. Pregnancy fic: i surprised myself putting this so high when i cant even think of a reason for it other than, it is a terrifying look into a person's most OP ability: creating life (cloning and other experimentation aside)

15. Sharing a bed: comfort. but also discomfort. limited range but i think the trope can and should be stretched a bit. also there is something about being in the dark, in bed with another person that is just.../different/ no matter the person or the circumstances. its a Quiet Moment.

16. Major character death: dramatics. also surprised this is so high up. A terrifying look into inevitable mortality. (and perhaps the subsequent consequences of immortality?)

17. Coffee shop AU: /shrugs/ its sweet. fuels my hot barista daydreams.

18. Bang or die: dramatics 2.0. with less Sad Emotions. (depending on the situation) and idk it creates strong bond and teasing material.

C tier: Can I have a slower boogie, please?

19. Sex pollen: good classic but few points off for not sparking any points for potential expansion of the trope. ranked lower than bang or die for lacking the die part. where is the risk!! the fear!! (tho they can always be combined O.O)

20. Missing scenes: this is for when canon leaves you hanging. reminds me of colouring books. its nice for having a more set framework to work within. loses points because I am an au fiend. and also i dont watch/read things closely enough to notice missing scenes.

21. Body swap: good classic but same as sex pollen, the lack of potential expansion gets to me.

22. Fluff: hot chocolate can only do so much until i go this is just chocolate water. or even worse, makes me want real chocolate especially when the stores are closed. /metaphor

23. Love triangle: live for the conflict and potential obliviousness shenanigans and also "i am better for them!" vs "I'm not good enough for them" rivalry. but the simple solution is to just share. points off for not sharing. i dont vibe with that.

24. Baby fic: cute but ive had enough of babies irl.

D tier: Don't think I can boogie anymore, so I will vibe at the sideline.

this part of the list isn't even ranked anymore because i just dont feel that strongly towards any of them, I will just separate them into groups of why so low!

uninterested: fairytale au, historical au, slow burn (/pours kerosene/ go faster pls), time loop

lack of potential: fake relationship, arranged marriage, huddle for warmth, royalty au, soulmate au, unhappy ending (ways leading to unhappiness are many, but they are always paved with guilt, regret and trying to get over /it/)

cannot relate: angst, hurt comfort, unrequited love

ive had enough of school: college au, high school au,

whats wrong with being friends?: enemies to lovers, friends to lovers

special little bois: fix-it fic (only if fixing it makes it worse), miscommunication (only if it causes problems, and they /fix/ that), mutual pining (only if there is an interesting reason for not saying anything other than "i am afraid it will be unrequited"),

[1-800-i-ship-it]

*distant cackling* khunbam and zukka for the ship asks!

hello anon (SORRY THIS IS RLLY LATE BTW) jhasdljf u didnt specify which  questions so here we go, im doing the ones i want to xD: 

i wrote this like a few months ago and now im editing it again lmao im so sorry anon it took me so long it was buried in drafts,,,idek if u follow me anymore but whoever reads this, hope u enjoy ^^ 

what was your first ship, and what fandom is it from?

hmm i think percabeth from pjo would count as my first, but for like discovering fandom content, it would be fourtris, from divergent haha which is actually how i discovered fanfiction (i searched up alternate endings for allegiant bc i hated the ending...and found fics LMAO), but my first big phase was probably more like thg & everlark 

explain why do/don’t ship [pairing]

khunbam: they would die for each other and also make such an amazing team?? (hello wave controller and light bearer combo) and just ugh theyre so good for each other if i keep going im gonna go on a tangent haha 

zukka: i just think zuko and sokka work well together and idk i know like maiko is canon but i dont think they would be very healthy for each other? and just like, idk they went to boiling rock together and like sokka actually tells zuko about yue and jahljdf they’d just be gr9 together 

how did you start shipping [pairing]?

khunbam: at some point i was like YOUR HONOR THEYRE GAY somewhere in s2 i just had the realization like, wtf theyre totally in love 

zukka: after i finished atla and poked around fandom, and i found i really liked the zukka ship 

is there a ship that you used to ship, but don’t anymore?

hmm okay probably catoxkatniss, i think i read it bc a friend recced to me? and so i read a few fics on it but i always felt bad when peeta was made out to be the bad guy or whatever so yea i would say i dont really ship that anymore, and for others i would say i just kinda lost my hyperfixations rip lmao but i still ship them 

what’s a ship you like that most people don’t?

uhh idk, but (forgive me) karoomba 

what’s a ship you hate that most people like?

ehhh i wouldnt say i hate any ship that most people like? but i would say i dont really fancy zutara, but its not like i hate it or anything

what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion?

hmm i dont know honestly haha, maybe daniel & jay from lookism or hangang & jasmine from zero game, tho its prob mostly bc i havent went and explored stuff yet and gotten involved haha 

what is the most overrated ship, in your opinion?

bam x endorsi 

do you prefer [pairing] as an otp, brotp, or notp?

khunbam & zukka otp! 

why do you think [pairing] is so popular?

khunbam: they have chemistry its there!! literally gay for each other from the start i swear and just how they act around each other vs other people

zukka: theres a vid i watched on why zukka is so good but like yeah idk why? i think mostly fandom haha and boiling rock, and i think they would complement each other really well 

why do you think [pairing] isn’t popular?

dunno about this one haha i think most of my pairings r popular? ig prob the underrated ships above i listed, tho that may be due to like again me not actively seeking content for those haha; khunbam and zukka r pretty popular already

rate [pairing] from 1-10 and explain why

khunbam: 10+++ bc i love them 

zukka:  10+++ bc i also love them

sorry head empty no brain 

hyperfixation for these 2 actually kind of slipping now actually lmao rip 

what’s your favorite headcanon of [pairing]?

khunbam: they’re both moronsexuals for each other, hm and wear each other’s clothes haha 

zukka: bi sokka gay zuko, also idk if this counts but zuko talking to turtleducks about his problems in the garden haha  

what’s your favorite canon moment of [pairing]?

khunbam: THE HUG OR WHEN THEY FIRST MEET AND KHUN ASKS WHERE BAM GOT BLACK MARCH FROM 

zukka: BOILING ROCK when they talk about plans and both of them dunno what to do xD

favorite AU ideas for [pairing]?

khunbam: soulmate, artists, coffee shop 

zukka: college au 

realistically, do you think [non-canon pairing] will ever be canon? why or why not?

khunbam: maybe???? very very very slim chance tbh imo ig bc apparently bam will have a female love interest but im not entirely sure about that 

zukka: not really since maiko is basically canon haha 

have you ever written fanfiction/drawn fanart of [pairing]? would you consider it?

khunbam: i wrote poems for them and i have a few wips, so yes i would consider it! it just sucks im kind of losing my hyperfixation rip but maybe i can get it back by writing lmao 

zukka: no i havent, i did have some edit ideas i think but idk if i will get to them haha 

also i am tempted to try and learn to do art but idk if i have the time to lmao rip 

thank u for the ask!! this was actually pretty fun to do, hope u dont mind i skipped a few questions haha 

[vagarius]

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?    their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most?    uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?     ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?     I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them?     THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them?     hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s)    this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?     THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon)     this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?     they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?     i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10.     AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?     in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?)     you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why?     OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing?     THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them?     i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them?    as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them?     TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.)     angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation?    they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date?     i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts?     IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes     THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au    consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love