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areweevercameraready · 11 months

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more than beliefs (10: lost in the woods)

A/N: the way in which i didn't expect to be updating this ., before thomas' next sanders sides video.,., anyway like i keep saying, life is crazy. i now have a masters degree.

also ! im going to post., another snippet of the human au .,., a little later today,.,.., i am getting Bolder lol

i'm going to try to be more proactive with responding to comments, especially on ao3! if you have any questions about anything, feel free to ask, and enjoy the read <3 !

WARNINGS: death threats, a kidnapping, and a very, very long fall — i don't know if there's much to tag on this one but if you think i've missed anything, please let me know!

Words: 5,248

here it is on AO3!

here are the MtB masterpost and the full Chivalry series masterpost!

enjoy! <3

Tonight’s only stroke of luck was that none of Remus’ beasts had made it to their side of the Imagination. The Thief was still out, combing through the woods.

It had been hours. The sun had yet to rise, and searching rarely went well in the dead of night.

Virgil was following him around, from the ground. Sometimes, the Thief scaled a tree, which didn’t feel like something he should be able to do. It must be the upper body strength. Why didn’t Logan work that extra gym time into Thomas’ schedule, damnit.

Janus stayed outside. He didn’t want to be inside, and it was good to keep the door open. It helped him think.

Plus, being inside meant waiting around with Logan and Patton, and as much as they were all fighting on the same side, it wasn’t as though they weren’t fighting each other as well. And he couldn’t put up with Patton’s faux fatherly friendship. He knew it was fake. It had to be.

It was early morning when Janus saw someone approaching the Tree. He stood, squinting into the distance. The person was much too tall to be the Child. They were moving slowly, too, and had an amorphously red shape. Janus could barely make them out in the moonlight.

“Who’s there?” he called out.

“It’s me,” the Damsel’s voice echoed back.

Oh.

Maybe he was just getting paranoid. Janus sat back down on the doorway, holding the tree bark door open with a leg.

“Good morning, Phillip,” he called.

He didn’t receive a response until the Damsel, much closer, sighed. He leaned on his cane and looked around up at the Tree, the surrounding forests, before returning his gaze to Janus. He seemed out of breath. It must have been a long walk, or he must not be used to walking the distance.

“Could you spare some room,” the Damsel asked.

Oh, huh. Janus scooted to the side, opening space for the Damsel to sit, and he did. He rested his cane against the side of the Tree and grunted as he sank down, leaning on the doorframe’s side. One of his legs extended forward, straightened out, while the other pulled beneath it.

“Sorry,” he hummed, voice muffled slightly by his scarf. “I’m not the best with distances. Usually the Playwright or the Dragon help me travel, but….but they’re not accessible.”

Right. The Damsel’s leg. “There’s no need to apologize. I’m sorry you had to come out here,” Janus waved at the forest while leaning his chin onto his other hand. “Did the Thief call you?”

“Virgil did, off of Eric’s-the Thief’s phone.”

He let out a sigh as he cracked his back in both directions, then he leaned back onto his hands. Virgil had called in a panic; the Thief had unlocked his phone and dropped it to Virgil. The Child was missing. They were coming back to the Tree but they hadn’t found the Child. The Thief had combed every part of the woods faster than the Child could have traveled, so it was likely he’d been kidnapped. Did he get kidnapped out of the Tree? No, he ran after he and the Thief had an argument. Inopportune, but tensions were high, even between them, if the Artist’s anger was anything to go off of.

First the Playwright, now the Child? Something must be picking them off. Could it be one by one? Luckily, the other trio was together, and the Damsel and Thief were with the other Sides. They would have to stay together. But what could be trying to capture them like this?

And for what purpose? The Damsel’s…darker tones had never left. Never been removed. So a part of him wondered…perhaps Roman was trying to finish the deed. But no. That would be foolish, after everything they’d been through.

The Damsel shook his head, clearing the thoughts, before sighing again. He didn’t want to look at Janus but who else was there for conversation — mirthlessly, the Damsel chuckled. Maybe that was why Roman would try to finish things.

Janus didn’t know what to make of him. Ever since their first escapade and then some, even when they started actually getting to know the guy, he just couldn’t understand. What were the implications of a part of Roman being almost as cut throat, as ruthless, as ends justify the means, as himself. What did that mean for Roman, for something like the Damsel to exist inside him.

There were few and far between opportunities for him to be alone with the former Prince, and he’d been the one to unravel Janus in the very beginning. This might be untradeable time. He should take the chance.

But for what? He wanted to understand more about Roman’s psyche, what could be causing all of this, but…for what? What part did he want to know? He’d thought he had a strong profile of the prince on lock, until Roman went against that, went against everything he’d known about him, just to prove him wrong. Out of pure spite. What did that say about him, and what didn’t it say that Janus needed to understand?

“When did the Chil-the Child run away?” the Damsel asked.

“Quite late at night. Maybe eleven. It’s been hours,” Janus responded. “Virgil and Thief must have been walking for miles and they hadn’t found him.”

The Damsel nodded slowly. “Two out of seven’s more than just a coincidence.”

Hypothesizing, and reserved.

“I’m surprised you followed them in here,” the Damsel continued. “I wouldn’t have-I didn’t expect you to care as much.”

Janus flinched, shooting the Damsel a glare. In response, though, the Damsel just cocked an eyebrow back to him, challenging him to argue.

“We…I’m on good terms with Roman,” Janus said. “We’ve had our disagreements, but—”

The Damsel laughed. He laughed so hard he leaned forward, holding his hand over his mouth like Janus had done to the other Sides so many times, as if he could stifle the sound. It grated on Janus’ ears. It sounded too much like Roman to be comforting and it was harsher in the way it was different.

“The only terms you think you-you think you have Roman are on the terms and conditions, because of how often you use him. A ‘funny, wholesome prank’ you enjoyed,” the Damsel turned so fast his scarf brushed Janus’ arm and he jumped at the sudden tonal change as the Damsel hissed angrily at him. “Playing into his love of theater, being right, AND desire to be a good person? That’s sinking low. Even for the leg-less snake.”

“I wouldn’t have to—the *leg-less snake?!” Janus couldn’t wrap his head around the Damsel’s report of his being.

“It’s a metaphor. You know, as you so enjoy. Speaking in tongues rather than-rather than play your cards openly, and I thought we-I thought-I thought you would have learned,” the Damsel growled in response. “You are the reason we-we didn’t go to the callback. You are the reason Roman’s self-love has been eradicated. And you are the reason Roman is missing. And I have no qualms with saying it, even if others-others do..”

Janus stared at him with wide, undilated eyes. He hadn’t noticed, but he’d pressed himself against the wall, one hand gripping the step into the Tree while the other scratched at the Tree’s wall, trying to find purchase. One more bout and he might run.

Good. The Damsel reveled in it, Janus’ fear. He knew he had to stay level headed — someone had to — but it felt good to finally unveil the source of everyone’s hostility. As much or as little as everyone knew. He’d spoken with the Child about it a few times, who was disappointed. He’d hoped that he could trust Janus, only to be proven wrong. It broke the kid’s heart. The Damsel hoped that that was all it had broken.

Slowly, he pushed himself up again, grabbing his cane with another sigh. Rougher this time. In the distance were more figures. Two, to be precise.

“Get inside before Thief sees you. He’s-He’s not as good at holding back his sword when anxious, and he won’t make your death as painless,” the Damsel warned, the growl never leaving, and Janus wasn’t willing to argue that point.

He hurried back up the stairs, trying to wrap his mind around what the Damsel had accused him of. That basically meant Roman felt that way. Or was it a third party perspective. Or was it both. Could it be both?

Did it even matter?

Logan was in the kitchen, a mug in his hands as he leaned on the counter and checked his phone. He was typing something. Patton, too, was in the living room, also typing on his phone. Something else. Janus didn’t even want to ask what it could be or what was happening; he just wanted to get on with it. Who knew if either of them had similar feelings.

“They’re back,” he said. “And Damsel’s here, too.”

Logan looked up first, pocketing his phone in an instant. “Oh, good,” he nodded toward the stairs.

They hurried down in time to see the Damsel catch the Thief in his arms with a grunt, cane still propped up against the Tree’s side. Patton strayed near the back, but even he could see the Thief tuck himself into the Damsel’s chest, arms curled around his head and fingers raking through his own hair. Virgil, behind them both, waved a hand to the others, signaling that they stay put. The Thief’s anxiety had only gone up, skyrocketing in a way that worried him. Sure, everything worried him, and even that much worrying was a bit worrisome, but this was another level kind of worry.

The Thief…worried Virgil. Every time he looked at Roman, knowing that he literally had an Anxiety was somewhere at the top of mind. That they’d torn him down so far that he had multiples of that, he had parts of himself that were willing to kill and fight and live in fear of every day. Had Thomas done that? Or had they? Did the things that he and the others say contribute to that? Last time he was here, everyone was able to quote back things at them, as if those quotes were what had built them. And the Thief was built on wanting to leave Thomas.

Virgil carefully approached them both, but the Damsel shook his head at him. One of his hands reached up, rubbing the Thief’s back in patterned circles.

“Eric. We need to-We need to get going. Reunite with the others,” the Damsel suggested.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” the Thief’s voice cracked on the swear, and his arms closed on himself tighter. “I don’t-I don’t know if he ran or if-Phillip, we were arguing, he-If he got taken, I wouldn’t know, I didn’t-I shouldn’t have let him out of-out of my sight.”

“We can find him again, we just need to re-reunite with the people who can travel easiest,” the Damsel murmured, a sharp and gentle contrast to how he’d threatened Janus. “I reached out to Remus, he should be here soon.”

The Thief nodded but made no moves to relocate himself. It felt a little awkward.

If Remus was coming, though, that must mean that they’re going somewhere else. Janus stepped back into the alcove at the front of the Tree and pulled out his shoes. Logan did the same, after a second. Better get going soon.

Behind them both, Patton stepped out, feet already crammed into his loafers. “Hey, Eric,” he whispered, right behind the Damsel.

The Thief flinched at the sound, but still lifted his head. His eyes were red, bright and tired. He hadn’t slept a wink, while at least Virgil got an hour or two earlier. His head hurt from the shouting and crying. And he stared at Patton with as much of a glare as he could muster. It wasn’t much.

“What,” he asked.

Patton glanced at the Damsel, who was also watching him curiously, before opening his arms. “I’ve heard I give Patton-tedly good hugs,” he offered with a soft voice, warm as the hearth.

That was Patton. Always full of love, at the end of the day and the worst of times. It was a very high-stress situation, and he didn’t want to not help. He wanted to comfort.

The Damsel let go ever so slightly and let the Thief lean to the other side. He pressed himself into Patton’s arms and curled up tight again, and Patton rested his arms on the top of his back, pulling him in just as close. After a beat, the Thief began shivering again, and Patton hummed softly. He could tell that the Thief was crying again.

“Being a dad is so FUCKING hard,” the Thief grumbled into his shirt.

“Hey, take it from me, it sure isn’t easy,” Patton said with a chuckle.

“You know, you’re not actually a father,” Logan interrupted, fixing his tie as he approached.

“Oh, no, no, I’ve only got a father figure,” Patton joked right back, giving the Thief a squeeze. “Amirite?”

The Thief snorted quietly, and even Virgil shook his head with a grin behind him. A bit of comedy to lighten the mood did wonders, in Patton’s eyes, especially when the Thief began to uncurl from his hug.

“Thanks, Patton,” he muttered.

“No problem, kiddo. I’m always here to help cheer you up,” Patton looped his arm around the Thief’s for a quick side-hug, which the Thief returned with a lean.

It was good timing, too, as a horn sounded behind them. Everyone turned, facing up as another horn went off. It was difficult to see without sunlight, but the moon and thick coat of stars cast just enough light for them to see the floating barge.

It was an old-timey sailboat, painted black, with green trims and a face of horror at the bow. The ship’s sails had been let down, displaying lime green splatters across their formerly-white surfaces. It was a wieldy vessel indeed.

Only one person could be driving it.

“Welcome aboard!” Remus shouted, and everyone stumbled as they were unceremoniously teleported onto the ship’s deck, above the treeline.

The Damsel was first to regain his footing, reaching out with an arm toward their new captain. Remus, wearing a black tricorn hat, greeted him by yanking him into a tight hug. And squeaking. Like a squeaky toy. The Damsel laughed at the gesture, hugging him back quickly.

Their camaraderie was noted. Once again, everyone was surprised about the relationship they had. Didn’t Roman hate Remus, and didn’t Remus terrorize him?

On the other end, the Thief pulled back, helping up the other Sides. He made sure Janus was stably standing last and shot him another angry look before turning away.

Janus brushed himself down. He didn’t understand.

He was warranted anger toward Roman all the same, so what the fuck was all of this animosity?

“Good to see you all in one piece again, and glad we’re gonna be playing One Piece again,” Remus shouted at them all.

The Damsel meandered toward the side of the boat, looking around. The dusty wall of fog that separated their sides was so close, here. This was closer to the the Imagination’s natural form, with the kingdom world’s edges all being clouded in fog that you could only really see at this height. Beyond the fog was more worlds that they’d invented, like the city seen previously. Even other kingdoms technically existed, with different rules and plotlines, but this one was home. It was the oldest setting, based on Thomas’ slew of Disney knowledge as he grew up. Others were more mature. One was based on the Game of Thrones’ settings, though it was more a daydream than a fleshed out world. There were alternate paths for their lives, even, with duplicates of Thomas’ home abound in every universe. They were all daydreams.

So nice, to see the world again, especially from such height. They were higher up than even the Tree. The setting was designed to not show any of the too obvious spaces between the worlds, so even the highest point wouldn’t show off the bounds. Only the Dragon, Dragon Witch, or something like this, a flying boat, could give a good vantage over the whole of the kingdom. It wasn’t a sight the Damsel got to see often.

Oh, he remembered sometimes, like this, what it was like to rule it all. To be Roman.

The self-loathing often mellowed out into melancholy, grieving a power he was technically never granted and was absolutely never promised. And the knowledge that he had to cultivate the rest of his Round Table. Especially his heir.

The Damsel, once the Prince, gripped his cane tighter. Oh, Child.

After he’d mellowed out, as the others put it, he tried to manage the actual town around the castle. And it became clear that the responsibility he was overburdened by was almost also visible in the Child. No one else seemed to handily understand how their perspectives impacted Roman — from the Thief’s judgements to the Artist’s drive and motivation, only the Child seemed to care about how his input impacted Roman and Thomas. And that responsibility was something the Damsel had been hoping to cultivate.

Of course, the Thief and the Bard were reluctant to like. Co-parent with a known murderer and the Dragon. But the Damsel appreciated the Child’s input, when he was allowed to receive it, and he did his best to respect the Child’s opinion.

“Which of you wants to walk the plank first!” Remus exclaimed, gesturing around with a rapier.

He poked it against Logan’s chest a few times, enough for Logan to see the tiny morning star affixed at its end, and the gesture was returned by a withering glance over. Janus snorted, at least, and Patton coo’ed at how tiny Remus’ weapon now was.

“Awh, it’s so cute!” Patton praised.

Virgil, on the other hand, waved his hand at the weapon. “Get that off his chest. We’ve gotta get to the Dragon Witch, with the others. You’re taking us there, right?”

Remus’s lips upturned, pouting as he leaned over closer. “Awh, boo! All work and no play makes Virgil a dull, dull boy,” he flicked his finger against Virgil’s nose and, before Virgil could retaliate any more than a growl, turned around quickly. “Yes, we’re on route for that. Shouldn’t be too long before we get there and drop trou.”

“I believe we’d be dropping anchor, when we arrive,” Logan corrected, following Remus first up the deck.

The whole troupe moved after him. Around them, the sails were being managed, ropes pulled, and steering wheel turned by invisible forces. It was like the ship were being manned by invisible people, but it was likely only run by Remus, who was hopping up the stairs.

“Oh, sure, whatever you want, Nerdy Nummy,” Remus said with a grin, gesturing over the side of the boat. “I’ll sure be dropping trou, at least.”

“How are the others?” the Thief asked quickly, trying to ignore Logan’s quizzical look.

Once again, Remus waved his hand. “Oh, you know!” he barked out a laugh.

Well. What did the Thief expect, with that one. He scowled at Remus’ back, a few ideas on how to get him to talk dancing through his mind before he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. Behind him, Janus shook his head.

And before the Thief could grapple with the snake and throw him overboard, as if sensing the imminent danger, Virgil yanked Janus back in a quick, sharp motion.

Behind both of them, Patton stumbled into the Damsel, who held onto the railing and caught Patton around the midsection. Virgil held Janus steady off by the side, watching as the Thief slowly brushed his cloak down. The air was tense around the whole party, even though Remus was skipping his way up at the top of the stairwell.

“Eric,” the Damsel murmured, trying to break the tension. “Eric, come-come on.”

The Thief’s eyes moved from Janus to the Damsel, squinting a little harder at him.

The Damsel let go of Patton to gesture forward, as if tired. Condescending.

Janus took it in quietly, eyes flitting between both, before Virgil shoved him up toward — past — the Thief. “C’mon, guys,” he grunted.

That shattered the tension. The Thief hopped off the steps in one vertical leap, landing on the railing and hurrying up the rest of the rail as if it were a balance beam.

At least they weren’t fighting. That’s what Patton was most afraid of, any more big fighting. They’d done that earlier today and they had to stop, really. It was going to start hurting Thomas at some point.

There was so much hurting. Who hurt you, who hurt me, hurting, revenge, and Patton didn’t agree with any of it! They just needed to sit down. Take a breather. Talk things out. But everyone was so tense and no one was willing to just breathe.

“Don’t worry, kiddos, we’re doin’ great,” he mumbled to himself. “I’m all good.”

The Damsel snorted behind him — Patton completely forgot he was there, too. He helped Patton upright, which he thanked him for, and they both began up again. The Damsel had a slower gait, holding the cane with one hand while he gripped the railing with the other, so Patton let his stride slow to keep pace.

“How’re you doing, Philly boy,” Patton bobbed his head as he spoke.

It was a silly nickname, sure, but the Damsel stopped fully again, squinting his eye at Patton with so much vitriol that he almost flinched. Almost.

“Philly boy,” he repeated.

“Mmmmmhm,” Patton glanced up the stairs with his eyes before stopping himself.

“I’m doing alright, Patty boy,” the Damsel responded with a small smile, shaking his head as he continued to climb. “How are you?”

Oh. Thank heavens. Patton laughed, clapping. “Wow, I’m glad you liked that one. I was about to start crying.”

As they got toward the top, the Damsel patted Patton’s shoulder gently. They were closer to the stern, going toward the wheel, which Remus approached himself. He waved his hands away at whatever was controlling it and gripped it tight himself.

“ONWARDS!” he screeched.

Somewhere, seagulls screeched, and the Thief jumped at the sound.

The ship turned quickly, careening to the side, though it didn’t throw off anyone’s balance too much. Remus was nice enough to think about that, at least. They faced the wall of mist that Virgil had crossed prior, the one that cut the Imagination in half, and began drifting toward it. The wind caught the sails in ways that defied logic and gravity, given that there was next to no wind blowing against them on the deck. Logan looked around at the world, approaching the railed edge slowly.

It was beautiful. He didn’t think he told Roman that enough, when they were together. It was hard to call something beautiful objectively, since it was, by definition, subjective. But the beauty of these creations, even at night, as the moon’s faint glow trawled over the edges of each tree. It faintly glittered on the river that cut through the forest and the town, dull light emanating off the terracotta roofs in town…

He missed Roman. Logan didn’t know what to feel about everyone else here, the arguing they’d been going through, but at the very least. Well. Roman did listen to part of what he’d said.

They should be able to discuss this like people.

God, fucking, and also damnit.

He ran his hand through his hair and took off his glasses slowly. It was giving him a headache and not because of his aid of the Imagination’s creating.

“It sure is pretty out here,” Patton sighed.

“It’s about to get even better, Daddy-o. Hold onto your pants!” Remus shouted.

Before any of them could ask what the fuck that meant, the fog of the split approached and engulfed the ship. It was impossible to see the hands in front of their faces, let alone the world around them. A whole shift.

And in almost an instant, it was gone. The fog swiped past them, drifting off the ship in slow rolls. Logan watched it drift back into a wall behind them, smoothing back down, before glancing over the world before them.

It was less dark than he’d expected. It was day, in a way, the other half of the sun glowing red more than the gold of Roman’s side, bathing the world in a bloody glow. The lighting poked holes between the pitch dark trees and between the tangles of brambles that surrounded the grounds of Remus’ world. In the distance was another castle. It was much taller. Much less clear how physics worked here, if Remus kept it in mind or if he pointedly discarded it. Logan had a hunch it was the later, building things that he knew wouldn’t work, because the largest tower of the castle had a full 90º bend in the middle. There was a bend, then another bend, then it continued upward, like someone had pushed it over a chunk.

To Virgil, it was a little familiar. He’d traversed both sides, though Remus’ far less. Back when he had to make nightmares more often, he’d have to go in through Remus’ mirror rather than Roman’s door. He also leaned over the railing besides Logan with a sigh.

“Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking.” Everyone jumped, Virgil nearly a foot off the ground. They whipped around to see Remus in a captain’s outfit — all green, of course — holding a radio speaker whose chord seemed to disappear into thin air above him.

He waved his fingers at the group and only the Damsel waved back, as per usual. “We are hovering above our destination now, and I hope you’ve enjoyed your flight. Beginning our descent into the Dragon Witch’s lair in t-minus five. Four. Three.”

“Oh, fuck,” the Thief groaned, holding onto the Damsel’s arm.

“Two.”

“What?” Virgil asked.

“One.”

The boat disappeared, as did Remus. For everyone else?

They began their descent.

For a moment, just a brief moment, it reminded Janus of the last time they visited. What, with trap door falls and all that.

Below them was the Subconscious, just besides the ground of Remus’ side. Virgil screamed — words can barely explain the stress he was under — as did Patton. The Thief had curled around the Damsel’s waist, cloak shielding them both and actually breaking some of their descent. It gave them a wider surface area, especially as the Damsel’s scarf undid itself. He kicked one of his legs out as well to increase surface area. Logan, at the furthest to the bottom, had his back to the fall as he watched everyone else.

It really felt like they were going to die here.

Until the shadow passed above, blocking out the little light they had. Logan could see it, it was a dragon. The Dragon? No, it looked larger. He couldn’t remember the Dragon’s actual dragon form’s size and length. Maybe he should take measurements.

“WHAT THE FUCK,” Janus managed to choke out through the air that was surging past them.

The dragon passed by again, closer this time. It dove and, with one claw, grabbed the two Roman figments. The Damsel wrapped his arms around its claw as it dove beneath them again. In this movement, it swiped Patton straight out of the air.

Somehow, Virgil screamed louder.

Then even he was silenced by the dragon’s tail coiling around them.

Impact must be coming soon. They were getting close to the tree tops at least, and while the Subconscious was an impossibly further drop below, even Logan was getting worried. He couldn’t see how far they were falling but it’d been about eleven seconds. That felt like quite a bit.

Claws wrapped around Janus in front of him then, quickly, himself as well. The dragon wasted no time in reaching up with its front arms and depositing them both onto its back, which was much wider than Logan remembered Draco’s being. And much more purple.

This must be the Dragon Witch, then. He patted her back with a sigh.

Virgil was still hyperventilating, holding one of the Witch’s protruding spikes with both of his arms. Also his legs. Patton was too stunned to make sounds, jaw hung open, and Janus, as soon as he was deposited, scrambled over to hold a spike himself. That was probably wise. Logan grabbed one.

They were safe.

“That was fun,” the Damsel said, coughing a few times. “Wow.”

“Shut the fuck up,” the Thief croaked.

He was just as pale as Virgil, almost moreso, as he held onto the Damsel and as the Damsel held one of the spikes. The Damsel laughed a little at the Thief’s anger.

“That was AWFUL,” Patton cried.

Logan blinked a few times, only to find his vision clouding. Oh. He took off his glasses, making sure to grip them tight as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Wetness. Ah.

“No, it was fucking great,” Janus snapped, jaw closing so quickly it made a biting sound, only for him to let out another small scream as the Witch ducked into the side of the cliff, into a dark opening.

They held on for the bumpy landing, wincing as they rolled a little on her scales. Slowly, though, she leaned to the side and stilled.

An opportunity to get off. No one was unhappy to oblige, and the Damsel, remembering how, slid off first. One by one, they disembarked, looking around the cave.

It was large. Red clay and brown limestone walls were illuminated by hanging fire lanterns and columns of fire within, ones that seemed to spin flame into itself but not anywhere outside. It was as big as an airplane hangar, expansive and echoey. At the very least, it had to be large enough for her to fit, didn’t it.

Once Patton descended, the last person off, the dragon began to shift. Her expansive golden wings coiled in on herself, pressing into her body, compacting her. They managed to cover the entirety of her magenta and forest green form, tail wrapping in all the same as she kept shrinking.

“Draco?” Virgil asked, and Logan shook his head.

It seemed everyone else had made the incorrect assumption. “No, no, she was much too big to be the Dragon,” Logan explained.

“She?” Janus asked.

“She indeed,” the Witch hummed, voice booming from her giant form.

The gold wings peeled off then drifted back into two long, billowing ends of a shawl. It was wrapped around her shoulders and trailed behind her, punctuated by the thick, swirling gold cape over her shoulders. She was still an imposing presence in her human form, standing taller than even the Dragon, shoulders squared further by her thick coat. A horned headless, somewhat accurate to medieval style, saw on her head like a crown.

She opened her arms in one dramatic bow.

“Welcome in, everyone, it’s so good to finally meet you. My boys’ve told me so much,” she held out a hand, first to Janus, and her glowing eyes were striking.

Slitted and golden. Like him. “My name is Guinevere, but you can call me Vi.”

#more than beliefs #sanders sides #sanders sides au #sanders sides fic #tss roman #sanders sides roman #roman sanders #woop woop is this fandom still alive LMAO #i assume we're all kind of moving on at this point but frankly i love my characters in this #much more than i care about the actual sanders sides series #writing these is kinda hard because i don't want to rewatch the series because it makes me sad #but i feel like i dont have as good a grip on the canon sides as i used to #mm its a little sad to have watched things die like this

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rommahh · 3 years

Text

Love On Tour…Actually

{Im sorry for how late this was. I went to the show Friday and honestly, it was the best day of my life. I had a little PCD which made me super unmotivated but I’m back. I love you all, R}

You woke up a little grumpy, you won’t lie. You didn’t like waking up alone especially on a show day. It made you uncomfortable to be left to your own devices without any structure or schedule. You understood that Harry was a busy man but it would’ve been nice to receive some text so you could plan your day accordingly.

Sitting on the couch in the lounge of your hotel room, you chowed down on leftover pasta while watching Netflix on your iPad. You had yet to receive a text from Harry even though you had texted him hours ago when you woke up. It was hard to tell if he was ignoring you out of anger or if he was simply just lost in track. Either way you felt dejected.

On the other hand, Harry hadn’t even noticed that he iced you. He was busy running around Nashville trying to get things ready for tonight’s show. He bought you a new dress and shoes, and got the ring fitted. It was hard to figure out your ring size but he end up measuring your finger when you were passed out asleep in bed last night. When you slept, you slept and he knew that would be the perfect time to measure your finger.

Harry was so busy that morning, that by the end of his errands he realized he didn’t even have time to go back to the hotel before rehearsals. He was sporting a small cough and his vocal chords felt overworked but that’s all apart of tour.

Pulling his phone out of his back pocket as he walked into the arena, he dialed your number quickly. He had people trying to talk to him but he paid them no mind.

“Oh? Would you look who’s here?” Harry’s head shot up to the sound of your voice. There you sat on his dressing room couch, arms crossed over one another as you glared at him. Your gaze burned through him and he could just tell he was in trouble.

“Hello lovie.” Harry rasped.

“Harry you sound like shit but here you are up and about running around. You should’ve slept in this morning.” Scolding as you stand up to walk in front of him. Harry could feel the anger radiate off of you but you hid it well. He melted into your hands that cupped his warm cheeks.

“I had a lot of errands to run and I didn’t want to wake you. Also it’s just a sore throat from singing and traveling- comes with being on tour.” He mumbles dropping his head into your neck. You caress the hairs on the back on his neck and massage the tense muscles.

“You’ve got to think about yourself more, Harry. You have a show to put on but you can’t put on your best show if you’re not at your best. I am not happy with you at all.” Even though your words were scolding him, you held him your arms in the most soothing way. That’s what Harry loved about you, you cared for him like no one else could (aside from his mom). You could tell him off with your harshest words but he’d always feel your love from miles away.

“You’re right love, sorry for not keeping in touch today.” You hum in acknowledgement. You both pulled away from each other when his driver walked in with Harry’s abundance of bags. “Thank you, sir.”

“What all did you buy?” You ask walking towards the bags. Harry’s arm shot out in front of you making you stop. You looked up at him in shock. “Fine be secretive.”

You huffed before making your way back to the couch. Harry rolled his eyes at you, making way to his shopping bags. Plucking the bag from Nordstrom he plopped it down on the table in front of you.

“I just didn’t want you snooping at some other stuff. I bought you this, for tonight.” He sat down beside you, thighs touching leaving no room between you two.

“Im not trying to be mean. Just a little peeved that you left this morning without telling me. You also have a cold and I wanna take care of you since you won’t do it.” A hand rubs his forehead luring his eyes shut.

“Sorry baby, I thank you for caring so much.” He whispers sleepily.

“Im always gonna care for my bubs.” Kissing him on the lips, your turn your attention to the bag. The small grey bag had light tissue paper covering the product within the bag. The tissue falls to the floor as you dig into the bag. A silky champagne dress, folded neatly to decrease wrinkles, sits in the bag. The dress was soft and you knew it was loose enough to give you the room to dance. Soft snores escaped the boy beside you- the exhaustion evident on his face.

You pull the dress out of the bag and walk over to where his outfit of the night hung. The dress was hung beside his to be steamed for later. Turning around, you smile at the sight of your curled up boyfriend. Your heart hurt knowing that in a few minutes he would have to go rehearse.

Harry sleepily went through rehearsals sitting in a chair the whole time. He knew his stage cues and performance, he only had one more thing to rehearse but it required for you to not be in the room. He gave one look to Jeff to signal him to get you out. Jeff made up some excuse saying that he needed help with some social media post for the show.

Before the show, there was a catered dinner from some local restaurant. Harry ate a light meal of fresh vegetables and a sweet iced tea which has grown on him having lived in the states for some years. You ate grilled chicken and fries enjoying the free food. The two of you ate alone in his dressing room- wanting a moment of piece before the crazy.

“How are you feeling?” You ask Harry. He shrugs, he was more nervous than anything but you wouldn’t understand why if he had told that to you. He felt floaty. Tonight would be a game changer, a step in a whole new direction. This is something he’s wanted to do for years now but it’s finally happening, and he’s scared.

"Im ok, a little tired but what else is new. I can't wait to sleep all night and cuddle with you." He grabs your hand from across the table. you squeeze it, frowning at his revelation.

"I don't like that you're so tired." You worry, his hand squeezes yours in reassurance.

“Im ok, it’s all apart if the job.” He looks down to your bare ring finger, thumb brushing over the empty spot. Your nails were done in your favorite way, some funky pattern you found from Pinterest all painted on short coffin nails.

“I love you Harry and I’m so proud of you. I know that these years put us both in a bad place mentally but I’m happy of where we are now.” Harry could almost tear up to your words. They settled into his mind, resonating. He was making the perfect decision and you solidified that ideal.

2014

Harry didn’t know how they did it. A show every night, a new state everyday, a new country every few months- he was burnt out. He was tired of shared tour buses and the lack of autonomy. Last nights LA show was amazing, the crowd was amazing, the energy was amazing- so why did he feel so horrid?

He walked around in The Grove, security guards walking in front and behind him. He wanted a peaceful day alone but here they were. Fans watched suspiciously trying to decipher if it was Harry or not. His hat and sunglasses were obviously not the disguise he thought they would be.

As the whispers got louder, his heart started to flurry more. Panic seeped into his veins as he looked for an escape. Bolting in the Barnes and Nobles- security guards close behind- Harry asked for the employees to close shop just for a moment. Harry only needed a moment to get a car near by to escape to. Feeling overwhelmed, Harry hid.

In between the historical fiction and romance aisle is where he sat. Head between his knees, trying to catch his breathe.

“Are you ok?” A voice asked from above him. His head whipped up in shock. Standing there was you, three books clutched between your arms. Adjusting your dress you dropped down to the floor in front of him.

“I-im fine, tired but fine.” He replied. He looked different than he did the night before, you thought. Last night, he was energetic and full of life and now, now you saw a boy whose exhaustion overpowered him.

“You here for any books?” You were just trying to change the subject, something you did with yourself when you had panic attacks.

“Oh no, I don’t-“ he stuttered shaking his head. You smiled at him before pulling a book from your stack. The fault In Our Stars, your new favorite.

“I love this book, one of my favorites. Heard a movie is coming out too so that’s fun.” You joke. Harry’s relaxed slightly, you nestled closer to him. Opening the book, you began reading, your gentle voice calming Harry.

At the start of chapter four, an interruption pulled you both away. Harry’s security guard told Harry that a car was waiting and the perimeter of the store was clear. Harry nodded telling the guard to give him five more minutes.

“I guess this is it.” You mumble closing your book. Harry nods but makes no move to leave. Something clicks in him as he looks at your face again.

“You were at the concert last night, meet and greet?” He muses.

“Yeah, One Direction is my favorite band. My friend bought our vip tickets for my birthday. Best night ever.” You say quietly, scared that he might think that you’re some obsessed fan.

“Oh, well I’m glad you enjoyed the show….so why didn’t you freak out today or- or expose where I was?”

“You’re a human being, just like me. You get nervous, frustrated, and sad just like me. You get panic attacks just like. Who am I to treat you differently?” Your words did so much for Harry. “Now don’t get me wrong, you’re my favorite in the band, but I don’t idolize you nor do I wish to be in your position cause I know it must be hard.”

“It is. Hard, I mean, really really hard. I love my job but I’m tired.” The silence you two shared burned a connection between you two. “This may be weird but could I have your number? I like talking to you and I wanna hear more of this book.”

Placing your hand made bookmark in the book, you closed in and gently placed it on Harry’s lap. “Have it. I have one at home and if you still want to talk about it- I’ll give you my number.”

Harry stills as the book sits in his lap. “I want to talk to you about the book.”

After exchanging numbers, Harry was urged by you to go. Walking side by side to the door, you were separated by his security.

“Harry, don’t let this keep hurting you. Find the joy and grasp on to it.”

You turned out to be his joy. Calls every night after shows and different books being read together, you both gravitated towards each other. Everyday was a new day to grow closer together. He invited you to more concerts, paying for every ticket because he just needed to be with you.

The show was going beautifully. Harry looked amazing in stage in all white and most fans were captivated by your outfit too. It worried you to see Harry so exhausted on stage but you knew he would stick it through like he always does. Proud was an understatement in your eyes. Harry made you more than proud.

You stood in the back of the watermelon pit at the end of the aisle where his stage stopped a few feet away. Jeff stood beside you like he normally did but he was acting suspicious. You two never stood on the side of Harry’s exit but this is where Jeff said you’d get the best view tonight.

Harry sang his final ‘we’ll be alright’ before doing his stage stroll and bows, but instead of finishing in the middle of the stage- he went down stage to the place he normally exits to at the end of the night. You watched in confusion, along with the crowd, as he walked down the steps to you. The crowd erupted in screams as the lights focused on where you were standing.

“What are you doing?” You asked with large eyes of shock. You felt your heart stop in your chest. The crowd getting louder by the moment. Harry walked closer to you, one hand digging into his pocket while his eyes focused on your face. You couldn’t place what was happening but you’re eyes welled with even more tears nonetheless. Jeff was to the side with a huge smile and his phone out to capture the moment.

“Y/N, my love, my light, the best thing that has happened to me,” he didn’t have his mic on so the crowd couldn’t hear him but you could hear him perfectly. As if you two were the only ones in the large arena, you could only see Harry. “From the moment I met you in the bookstore, I knew you were meant to be in my life. Somehow you took me from my darkest place and guided me to my lightest.

I know our lives have been hard but we’ve always found a way to be alright. I want that for the rest of my life. I want you to be by my side for the rest of my life, so will you please, my love, marry me?”

You gave him no time to answer as you yanked him up by his arm. You wept as you exclaimed loud yeses, yeses that could be heard by a few fans who screamed in excitement igniting the rest of the crowd to scream. Harry picked you up in his arms, throwing one arm out to wave at the crowd before bounding backstage.

“Oh my god Harry!” You exclaimed as he set you down. He only had a few minutes to talk so you kept it quick. You pulled his face down to your kissing his lips. This kiss pulled you both deeper into each other.

He pulled away making you whine. “I gotta go back but I promise you’ll get it all tonight. I can’t believe you said yes. I love you so much.”

Harry’s energy multiplied by 100 going back on stage. He even went as far as to explain what watermelon sugar was about. Remembering when the song was made, it made your legs clench together- a pulse overwhelming your lower regions.

Looking down at your hand, you could feel yourself tear up again at the ring he bought you. It fit perfectly in your hand, you remember him measuring your hand that night even though he thought you were asleep. The thought of your future made your heart swell. A future with new music, a wedding, a nice house, and babies made your heart swell. This was something you couldn’t wait for.

Harry found his joy in you but he never knew about the joy he was to your dark life.

#harry styles love on tour #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles love on tour nashville

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catintheruemorgue · 3 years

Text

annoying things they do

summary: small things these guys do that just grinds your gears a bit.

characters: oda, dazai, kunikida, twain, akutagawa, atsushi, mori, poe, ranpo, fittzgerald, steinbeck, chuuya, yosano, gin, kouyou, higuchi, alcott and lucy

these are all based off things i do or have inconvenienced my life lmfao i’ll probs do a part two with everyone i missed this just got wayyy to long lol next im posting being friends with double black

Oda:

If you're wearing shorts and have bruises he will poke them when you're resting your legs on him. He’s silent about it too and if you yell at him he pretends to act like he doesn't know what you're talking about.

Will smack your sunburn but this one is actually an accident. He just wanted to pat you on the back because you're amazing.

Will space out when you talk too long, sometimes certain objects are just so… mesmerizing

Dazai:

Loves to jumpscare you the only exception is if it was a trigger. In that case he will just call your name and whip something at you for you to catch at random.

When you're driving he likes to reach over and honk your horn. It's almost caused so many roadside fistfights.

If he sees a dog in public he will bark and growl at it.

Kunikida:

Won’t let you on the bed without socks on. You could be sick as a dog and he’ll still enforce this rule.

Cleaning is hard because he has a hard time throwing things away. You'll spend extra time as he holds two identical pens, trying to decide which one he wants to keep. He’s learned to plan certain days in his schedule for cleaning now.

Won't let you turn up the music in the car and will keep it at a level that's so low it's annoying.

Twain:

Walks around the house shirtless but then complains about how cold it is.

Blasts his music so loud when he wakes up in the morning and it's always early 2000’s hits. It's not rare for you to have Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield stuck in your head by 9 am.

Always has to climb something, this stems from his adventurous side. It's not really that annoying but when you’re in a crowded area and he runs off to go climb the tall statue, screaming at you to take a photo… Yes it is. Especially when children try and follow him and you're stuck receiving glares from the parents.

Akutagawa:

Will not let you throw any food products out. He tells you it's a perfectly good meal (even if it's not) and that he will eat it tomorrow. It’s sad because you know this stems from childhood but it’s still annoying.

Reuses the same gross, musty ziplock baggies. You keep buying new ones but he doesn't get it lol.

Will tell you if your breath smells, hair is messy, outfit is ugly. He does not see an issue with this and it's nice knowing someone has your back but he doesn't have to be so rude about it..

Atsushi:

If he drinks he's one of those drinkers who will not let you take it from him. Keeps an iron grip on the cup. He finishes it no matter how drunk and always throws up. Thankfully he rarely drinks.

He stops to help everyone, literally even if they just look like they need help. You've been late to so many things.

Will eat anything. Once you made steak and somehow forgot about it. It was hard as a brick yet he still almost broke his teeth eating it. You think you saw some tears as he told you it was delicious.

Mori:

Listens to people's conversations in public and isn't afraid to comment, loudly, about it. You know it's loud because they either stop talking or try and confront you guys.

Comes up to stops fast and brakes so hard you feel like he does it on purpose.

Sometimes if he and Elise get into a “disagreement” he’ll try and rope you in to take his side and you always do, knowing it would probably give him more satisfaction if you chose to side with her.

Poe:

Asks for constructive criticism but will then argue with you about why you're wrong.

Always humming a song he heard Twain singing and then it gets stuck in your head too.

Will deny stupid things like why your favorite mug is in the trash or why he just let out rather loud scream in the bathroom. You know he's lying because he looks away and makes sure his bangs are covering his eyes.

Ranpo:

Will call you out on any lie even if you don't mean to lie you just forgot about some of the details.

Don't take him grocery shopping if you have a set amount you want to spend. He won't even sneak, he will just say he wants something and throw it in the cart.

Such a backseat driver even though he can't drive.

Fitzgerald:

Likes to act like he's still in his twenties and will somehow get the two of you invited to college parties where he will attempt to do a kegger in front of everyone. You end up being the one to hold him up and he always ends with a, “LETS FUCKING GO!”

Likes to ask for the senior discount even though he's not that old, he just likes to hear the women validate that he's not old.

It’s scary how he used to buy without looking and now will scream if the price on a price tag is too high.

Steinbeck:

Always looking at the grass for wheat to chew on. It's so cheesy when you walk into the city and he's got it sticking out of his mouth.

He gets weirdly intimate with nature and you feel like you're third wheeling.

Has the mentality that he has to provide for you because he is the man. He gets so shocked when he finds out you still want to work.

Chuuya:

Has a hard time making decisions you could ask him what he wants for dinner and his mind will just break.

Gets way too pissed at movies and will actually get up and walk away. Once you were kicked out of the theater because he wouldn't stop yelling at the screen. Another time he walked out you waited a whole ten minutes before you realized he wasn't coming back.

Sometimes activates his ability at night and it's so scary waking up to him floating halfway across the room.

WOMAN TIME!!!!!!!!!!

Yosano:

Will glare at you so intensely if you say something she disagrees with.

Always tries to rope you into drinking with her even if you’ve said no the past ten nights.

Will describe wounds or injuries in such detail and just won’t stop, almost like she’s trying to fuck with you, but she’s not.

Gin:

Claims to be nothing like her big brother but then will go on to make the same facial expressions and do some of the same mannerisms as him.

Will spend hours trying things on just to put it all back, leave the store and change her mind when you’re almost home. Then she’ll have you run back with her to buy it all.

Is used to sneaking around so scares you a lot. Also on the topic of being silent sometimes she just won’t respond, thinking you can just read her vibes / mind.

Kouyou:

Will judge what you eat, especially fast food but will try and steal a fry in private when you're not looking.

Will say things like, “Well that's just the way the world works.” If someone tries to share their baggage with her. You understand she’s had a pretty rough life but it's caused you to almost spit out your drink multiple times.

At functions forgets about you for about an hour while she mingles with everyone else, you could tap on her shoulder and she'll dismiss you like you're a subordinate. Until you clear your throat again you'll see the slight blush as she apologizes.

Higuchi:

She has no sense of privacy. If she hears a crash or loud noise she will bust down the door. It’s sweet but not when the noises are usually from you knocking all the shampoo bottles down again.

Horrible road rage actually puts you on edge to be in the car with her. She doesn't even have to be driving.

Likes to act like she's a professional at everything and people usually believe it because of her suit. It's so nerve wracking when she giggles when they walk away with false information.

Alcott:

Will agree to everything you suggest but you can only tell when she doesn’t want to do it when you’re currently doing it.

Yet she’s not afraid to grumble about how annoying it is when someone bumps into you and doesn’t apologize. It’s sweet but you’re left dealing with the situation if the person is aggressive enough to say something.

Always corrects your spelling or if you say something like “I could care less.”

Lucy:

Will fish for compliments in a very obvious way like, “Wow. Wish someone would call me pretty..” and then just stare right at you.

Kicks you so violently in her sleep but won't let go of you so you cant get away.

Constantly stealing from restaurants. You're banned from a couple restaurants because she got caught trying to steal a cup or salt shaker.

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peterpparkerwrites · 2 years

Text

begin again - part eight (final)

a/n: currently on hiatus - look at my pinned post for more info! I have this series and the following ones scheduled to post twice a day - once at 11:00 AM PST and once at 7:00 PM PST. since I will be gone and can’t update links, if you want to find previous parts, just scroll down my page :) warnings: language, death mentions, anxiety/ptsd mentions, drinking mentions, blood mentions, gun mentions, sorry for all that LMAO pairing: college peter x reader word count: 5k

masterlist ~ requests are closed!

taglist: @lilbeatlebear @somefuckshit1 @hufflepuffseeker @nocturnalms

@sanniesdiary

Peter woke up to a bottle of advil and cup of water by his bed, and a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach that wasn't just nausea.

He didn't drink very often, and it usually took a lot for him to get drunk because his powers fought against it. But it was possible, and he proved that only once before when he and Ned were being stupid and wanted to test it out.

Now he did it for the second time, and he really wished he hadn't.

You didn't leave any trace that you were there except for the advil and water, which brought some anxiety to his stomach. He wanted to call and make sure you got home alright, he knew you had been drinking too and the thought of you wandering back alone made him feel even more sick.

But he stumbled out of his room to see one of his blankets draped over the back of the couch and relaxed a little. You must've slept on the couch and left this morning. His chest tightened at that, wondering if you stayed because you didn't want to go home alone and drunk, or maybe...you wanted to make sure he was okay until the morning.

He scrapped that thought quickly, highly doubting it was the latter. You probably hated him, especially after that stupid stunt he pulled last night.

He felt sick again as soon as he remembered. Why was he so stupid?

Instead of dwelling on that he went to his room to grab his phone, knowing that he should at least thank you. The amount of messages you had sent from the last two months made him more annoyed at himself, but it wasn't like he could change it now.

thanks for bringing me home

He bit his lip as he sent it, deciding to type out another text.

i'm sorry

With a sigh he rubbed his chin and grabbed the glass of water, chugging it to try and get the gross taste of alcohol out of his mouth before deciding it would be best to just brush his teeth.

You didn't reply right away, which he had expected. He knew you were a quick replier but that was different now - he had left you on read for months, he would've been stupid to expect you to reply right away, or even at all.

To his surprise his phone dinged and he scrambled to finishing brushing his teeth and grabbed it, sighing in disappointment when he realized it was just a text from MJ.

His annoyed expression turned confused when he saw what she sent, though.

don't be stupid then, loser, just be honest with her. also i'm not your therapist why don't you text ned about this. and drink some water you sound fucked

With a little panic he went to see what he texted her before, realizing he must have messaged her while he was drunk. He was surprised she could even understand half of the things he sent, considering there were a ton of typo's and sentences that made no sense. Except for one.

I really rally like her but Im scared i messed it up

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, the nauseous feeling coming back. Apparently drunk Peter had a way easier time admitting how he felt than sober Peter. He went back to MJ's text and chuckled a little, shaking his head at her bluntness.

He could always count on her to tell it to him straight without caring if his feelings were hurt.

He was shaking as MJ cleaned up his knuckles, trying to get him to unclench his fist a little. She had been startled when he showed up at her window covered in blood with red rimmed eyes and the mask clenched between his fists, but he was able to say what happened despite how much it hurt, and she decided her first priority was to help him.

Grieving could be pushed until later.

"Why did you come to me?" She asked quietly, staring up at him with slight concern in her eyes.

"I don't want Ned or May to see this," he croaked out, "They'd-they'd be so disappointed."

"But you didn't-"

"No, I didn't kill him, but I wanted to, I-I almost did. I easily could have," Peter bit his lip to stop it from trembling, "MJ, she was just lying there-"

"Don't," MJ said firmly, though Peter could hear a little shake in her voice. She was her best friend, too. "I can't hear that Peter, and you shouldn't dwell on it, it'll just make you feel worse."

He went silent as she continued to clean up his bloodied hands, the sight of them making him angrier. He never hurt anyone with the intent that he did tonight, and he wished he felt more guilty about it.

How could he not feel guilty about hunting down her murderer?

"So...he's gonna live?" She asked after a moment, wrapping the bandages carefully around his hands.

"Yeah. I think he'll be in the hospital a while before jail but...yeah," Peter held his other hand up while she moved to get another bandage.

"You did the right thing," she replied, "I know it doesn't feel like it but...you did. Killing him wouldn't have brought her back."

This is why he chose to come to MJ instead of May or Ned, not only because they were so clear in their expressions that he would know right away if they were disappointed (which they would inevitably be) - he knew MJ would tell it to him straight, even if it hurt to hear.

"Thank you," he replied quietly, shutting his eyes while she finished cleaning his cuts.

She nodded and finished wrapping the bandage, cutting the end with some scissors and taping it on. "Do her parents know?"

Peter swallowed, wishing he could get rid of the looks on her parents faces when he showed up as Spider-Man to deliver the news. "Yeah, they went to the hospital last I knew but...but she was already..."

MJ sniffed a little, quickly wiping her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Peter."

"Yeah...I am too."

"I can't believe she's gone," she said quietly, sitting on her bed next to him. "It doesn't feel real."

"I'm sorry I told you like this," Peter muttered but she quickly shook her head, taking one of his hands in hers.

"I'd rather hear it from you than in the news or a phone call," she sighed, "And I'm glad you came to me for help. We're gonna get through this, Peter. You and me and Ned and all of us."

He squeezed her hand a little, "Yeah...we'll get through it."

He wished he could believe that.

His phone went off again and he snapped out of it, clicking the new text from you.

don't worry about it.

No smiley face, no goofy emojis. His heart hurt a little at that, but he knew he deserved it.

He deserved a lot worse than that.

And I...I really missed you

Once you slept and took several pain killers and drank probably a gallon of water, you let yourself wonder why the hell you were letting those words bother you so much.

You didn't really have to wonder why they bothered you, but you did wonder why you were still letting him affect you like this. And you were really wondered why he bothered saying those words to you, and especially why the hell he would kiss you right after.

You weren't a blackout drinker and it was easy to remember how it felt to have Peter kiss you, even if it was just for a few seconds. And it was nice. You hated that, you hated that you still wanted to be with him even though he was treating you like this.

It was obvious that you deserved better than that, and you knew it, too.

But that didn't mean you were gonna get over it so easily. You knew Peter was a nice guy but he clearly had a lot going on to where he was hurting you and that wasn't okay.

You jumped a little when your phone buzzed, your roommate grumbling something before turning over and going back to sleep. With a grimace you opened your messages and was shocked to see who decided to finally text you.

thanks for bringing me home

You frowned when you read Peter's text, barely having time to blink before he sent another one.

i'm sorry

He had apologized twice now, technically. You weren't sure if he was apologizing for kissing you, or for you having to bring his drunk ass home, or everything that he's done in the past few months that has hurt you.

Either way, it wasn't enough to make you feel any better. If he was going to give you a sincere, actual apology, then maybe you would be able to accept it. And if he was going to explain himself with valid reasons for why he hurt you, you might even forgive him.

Might.

You put your phone back down and frowned, deciding to get ready for the day and make him wait a little for you to respond. Like you even knew what you were gonna respond with anyway.

Your roommate got up too and muttered something about how annoying your phone sounds were and how she couldn't wait to go home tonight, before grabbing her bag and rushing out the door. You were a little happy that she had left and decided to reply to Peter's text before jumping in the shower.

You sent the text quickly and grabbed your hairbrush, yanking it through your hair while glancing at your phone a few times.

If he replied, you would be pretty surprised. You didn't have any clue what he would possibly say, since your text was pretty straight forward and not really something to continue a conversation on. Part of you hoped he would send something back anyway, but you quickly scolded yourself for thinking that.

It was past time to get over that stupid boy and your hopes that he might come around and change. If he did then whatever, you weren't going to sit around and wait for him.

With a sigh you shoved your phone away, grabbing your books and deciding to put some time to finishing your work before the weekend. The weather was great and you wanted to get out and take some pictures, maybe even dragging Harry along, but you didn't want to do that until you finished your work for your classes.

It seemed like it was going to be a long day.

"There's strange activity a few blocks away according to police comms," Karen said through the mask, "Go right."

"Thanks," Peter sighed through his nose, shooting a web in the right direction and moving with it, trying to go faster.

The day had been boring, he could barely remember much of what he did. He drank a ton of water as MJ suggested, still feeling shitty as he did his rounds. After a while he just went back to his apartment to take a nap and decided to do a late night patrol later on, so here he was.

When he got to the scene he tensed, noticing it was a bunch of men arguing - a large duffle was in the middle, making him more alert.

He hated coming across drug deals - they hit a little too close to home.

"Shut up or you're gonna attract unwanted attention!" One of the guys yelled, making Peter roll his eyes.

He observed the scene, noticing several men surrounding the bag and waving their arms around while arguing. A couple people stood some feet back from the two main guys arguing, but he noticed only the two had guns on their hips. The rest seemed unarmed, or they had knives tucked away and hidden. Easy enough.

He jumped down in the middle, making several of the guys jump back in surprise. He quickly disarmed the two main guys and shot webs on their hands before turning to the rest.

"Hey guys," he said, crossing his arms, "Oh sorry, am I interrupting?"

"Get out of here, or she gets it," one of them said angrily, yanking out and pointing a gun at someone he didn't notice before, a few feet behind most of them.

Peter froze when he realized it was you.

"Y/N?" He whispered, taking a few slow steps forward.

What the hell were you doing here? You were just standing there with a scared look on your face, shaking your head at him. Something wasn't right but he didn't have time to figure out why.

"Watch it, Spidey," the guy threatened, holding the gun up to you again while you shut your eyes. "Actually, this shit isn't worth it."

"Hey don't, don't shoot her," Peter struggled to say, feeling like he was speaking through jello, but the guy raised his gun with intent this time. "Don't!"

It felt like a repeat of when he saw Ben die and when Tony was killed and when he watched her get shot. He couldn't move fast enough and suddenly a shot rang out and you crumpled to the ground while the shooter and his men ran off.

"No no no," Peter scrambled forward and dropped to his knees next to you, "No, you're fine, Y/N you're fine."

"It's okay," you said quietly, your eyes not quite focusing on him as you coughed, and Peter felt sick seeing some blood trickle out of your mouth. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry, I can-we can go to the hospital," he insisted, going to put his arms underneath you and pick you up but you winced, weakly shoving his arms away. "Y/N, please, you can't-you can't do this."

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, and Peter felt panic as you shut your eyes.

"No, don't-don't shut your eyes, come on," he freaked out, gripping your arms and shaking you a bit, but you didn't move. "Y/N, don't do this to me, I can't-"

He jolted up and found himself stuck to the ceiling, his blanket falling off of him and back to the bed below. He was in his room, in his pajamas, covered in sweat and his chest feeling tight with anxiety. He never went back to patrol because he didn't wake up from the nap he decided to take.

It was a dream.

His body relaxed a little and he fell back to the bed, trying to focus his on breathing. Nightmares weren't a new thing to him. He'd had them ever since Ben died and even more so since she died, he was used to calming himself down.

But not this time. Something felt different, and he wasn't sure if the reason was because it was his first nightmare about you dying, or the fact that the hair on the back of his arms and neck was still standing up straight, like something might actually be wrong.

He flopped his head over to look at the clock, seeing that it was nearly two in the morning. There was no reason you'd be out this late, much less at a drug deal. That was just ridiculous, he should have realized he was dreaming when it happened.

But it felt so real.

Without hesitating he got back up and rushed to grab his suit, deciding he couldn't wait and see if the anxiety would go away.

You bit your lip a little as you stared at the equation in front of you, not exactly sure how to proceed. The subject your teacher was going through this week was difficult and you weren't sure if you were doing it right.

It was nearly two in the morning and you were determined to get it finished before the weekend, so you didn't mind staying awake agonizing over it, even though you were exhausted.

Your phone was a foot away from you, and you almost contemplated grabbing it to text someone in your class for help, or even Peter, despite the late hour. But a loud bang made you jump and drop your pencil, whipping around.

The window shuddered a little as you stared at it wide eyed, seeing Spider-Man perched on the ledge with a hand up on the glass, the eyes of his mask squinted. After a second he reached a hand up and yanked the mask off, showing Peter's bright red face and even worse, tears brimming in his eyes.

You got up without hesitation and went to the window, yanking it open.

"Peter?" You hissed out in confusion as he climbed in, really glad that your roommate had gone home for the night.

He pulled you into a hug, and you could feel his body shaking from how tight he was holding you. You wrapped an arm around his waist and the other went up to his hair, eyebrows knit in confusion as you hugged him back.

"Hey, what - what happened, are you okay? Are you hurt?" There was no panic in your voice, no anger or questions about him being Spider-Man, no shock or surprise. Just concern.

Was he really surprised that you already knew he was Spider-Man?

"You're okay," his voice cracked as he said it, making you a little more confused as he held you closer to him, burying his face in your neck.

"Yeah, I'm-I'm fine," you confirmed, knitting your eyebrows, "Why wouldn't I be?"

You tensed a little when he brought his head up and looked you in the face, like he was looking to see if you were really there.

"I had a dream," he said carefully, like he was almost trying to convince himself that it was a dream. You were looking at him like he was a crazy person but he didn't care, he just held your face in his hands, finally relaxing now that he could see you were okay.

"Okay?" You replied, still sounding concerned. "Um, do you-want to talk about it or..? What's going on?"

Instead of responding he put his forehead to yours, shutting his eyes and trying to make his heart rate go down a little. You were here, you were fine, you were alive - that should be enough for him to calm down.

Peter really should have been given an idiot of the year award.

He wasn't sure if it was because he was so relieved you were okay, or because you looked adorable in your pajamas with messed up hair and tired eyes, or because the moment felt way more intimate to him than it probably actually was. But either way he made yet another stupid decision and closed the gap between your lips.

You weren't as caught of guard this time - for one you were sober and for another you saw him look at your lips and had an idea of what he was about to do next. But you didn't bother stopping him, even though you probably should have.

This was a lot different from the first kiss. You weren't drunk so it wasn't as messy but it was a little more desperate, and you could feel it in how tight he gripped you to him, like he was trying to get as close as possible.

It was almost like you were letting yourself forget every shitty thing he had done while your lips moved together, noses bumping a few times and one of his hands moving to your hair to bring you closer. But you were sober this time, and even though it felt nice, you knew that it wasn't right.

With a little hesitation, you put your hands on his shoulders and held him there while you moved back, not letting him follow your lips.

The only sound was both of you trying to catch your breath, Peter's hands still holding your face like he was afraid to let go while yours gripped his shoulders, though you weren't sure if it was to hold him back or because you just wanted to be touching him in some way.

"I'm sorry," he breathed out, and you tried not to roll your eyes.

"I'm so confused," you said a little breathlessly, trying to resist the urge to lean into him again. Instead you stepped out his grip, not looking at the rejected look on his face as he let his hands fall to his sides.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, shutting his eyes and sighing through his nose. "I shouldn't have done that again, I just-"

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," you agreed a little harshly, trying to ignore the stinging in your eyes as you sat on your bed. "You can't just treat me like you have been and then show up saying you had some-some dream and then kiss me out of nowhere again and not explain anything."

"I'm scared, Y/N," his voice sounded so hurt, it made your anger fade a little at the pain in his voice. "I'm scared that as soon as I let you in, you'll leave."

"Peter..." your voice trailed off, his expression pained, "I didn't plan on leaving."

"Maybe not intentionally," his eyes were tinged red when he met your gaze, "I can't lose you like I lost her. I can't do it again."

You had no idea who he was talking about, but you always had a feeling Peter was hiding something from you, more like someone. The girl from the pictures on his wall.

With a sigh you patted the spot next to you and he sat down quickly, not leaving much space between you. You let him put his head on your shoulder and you brought a hand up to his hair, trying to calm him down a little. It seemed like he was on the verge of breaking down before he even came in your room, and you needed him to calm down if he was going to explain anything.

"You need to start being honest with me, Pete," you said softly, running your fingers through his hair and noticing how he closed his eyes and relaxed at your touch. "I want to know what's causing this or I can't let you drag me around. It's not fair to either of us."

It went silent for a moment while he gathered his thoughts, focusing on the feeling of your hands in his hair comforting him. He didn't deserve you and he knew that, but opening up was hard, even if it was to someone he knew would accept him.

"How long have you known I was Spider-Man?" He asked after a second, and you were a little annoyed that he ignored what you just said, but you decided to go along with it.

"Since you saved me that day I was being stupid," you moved your fingers over the little spider emblem on his chest, pretending you didn't notice him shudder a little at your touch. "You have a pretty distinguishable voice, Parker."

His lips lifted a little at that, "You really knew that whole time and didn't say anything?"

"I can keep my mouth shut sometimes," you said in a defensive tone while he shook his head, "And honestly I was worried it would scare you off if you knew that I knew. It didn't really matter in the end though, did it?"

He frowned at that, his hand moving up and catching yours, holding it against him. "I don't want to scare you off, either. Which is why I've been so closed off."

"You can trust me, Peter," you promised, squeezing his hand.

"I know I can," he chuckled a little, but his smile dropped quickly. "I'm just scared."

"Tell me why, then."

He stared at you for a moment, taking in your messy bun and tired eyes and slightly chapped lips. Lips that he had kissed when he probably shouldn't have, or at least should have asked before doing, but he couldn't change that now. But he could change his problem of keeping things under a tight lid, and just open up for once.

Your thumb brushed over the back of his hand and he relaxed, knowing that he needed to talk about it. For both of your sakes.

"My parents died when I was really young, I don't-I don't really remember them much," he licked his lips, trying to ignore the feeling of you watching him while he spoke. "May and my uncle Ben raised me, but about a week after I got these powers, Ben was killed. And for a really long time I blamed myself for it, I still kind of do, but...it had gotten easier.

"And then it was better for a while, I had Tony and he was a great mentor, but then..." Peter clenched his jaw a little, and you took his hand in yours to encourage him to go on. "I only got through it because of May and...and her."

"Her?" You asked softly, drawing circles on the back of his hand to relax him a little.

"I never felt that way about anyone," he said quietly, his eyes squeezing shut, "I never thought losing someone could hurt more but I was right there and she died right in front of me and I didn't do anything-"

"Hey," you cut him off, knowing him rambling on was just going to make it worse, "Peter."

"I let it happen-"

"It wasn't your fault," you said firmly, not having any idea of the situation but still knowing it was true. He started shaking his head but you put your hands on his face, cupping his cheeks and making him look at you. "Listen to me. It wasn't your fault."

"You don't know-"

"I know you, Peter Parker," you ran your thumb over his cheeks, catching some of the tears starting to fall from his eyes. "I know you and I know it wasn't your fault."

He shut his eyes again and leaned forward, his head on your shoulder as he choked out a sob, making your heart ache. You hugged him to you, finally starting to understand why he did all of that. This was the first time he ever really opened up to you and now you were getting why it took so long.

"It's okay," you whispered, pressing a kiss to his hair while his arms snaked around your waist and held you tighter. "Peter, it's okay."

"I never felt that way about anyone," he repeated in a teary voice, his breath warm against your neck. "Not until I met you."

Him admitting how he felt about you made your heart skip a beat, but the sniffling sound he was making made it clear he was still hurting and you didn't think this was the right time for that conversation.

"We don't have to talk about that right now," you ran your fingers through his hair, biting your lip.

"We should," he replied, pulling back so he could look you in the eyes. This time he put his hand on your cheek, holding you as gently as he had that night when he was wasted. "It was so hard to do that to you and I shouldn't have. I should have given you an explanation instead of running like a coward. And I should not have kissed you when I was drunk or even just now when you still didn't know everything and...I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry."

"Peter, I know you know how I feel about you," you admitted, his eyes tightening a bit at your words, "I'm sorry that you went through losing people that close to you, and I understand why you would be scared to be close with someone again. You're right, you shouldn't have done that to me, not like that. But you were scared and I understand that, so...I forgive you, okay?"

"Just like that?" He asked quietly.

"You might need to work for it a little," you bit your lip to keep from smiling, and the look on his face told you he got that you were teasing.

"I can do that," he promised, bringing his forehead to yours. "Is it alright if I kiss you?"

"Now you ask?" You teased again, but he didn't reply this time, instead bringing his lips to yours for the third time.

It was a lot softer than the last two times. His hand had travelled to hold your waist and the other went to the back of your neck, snaking up toward your hair. And you held his face in your hands, trying not to smile as he moved his lips against yours.

You pulled away only to push him on his back, making him laugh while you went over him and muffled his chuckles with another kiss. He brought both hands to your waist and pulled you closer against him, humming against your mouth while you ran your fingers through his hair, making it even messier than usual from the mask.

"Are these Avengers themed bedsheets?" Peter mumbled against your lips, making you sigh and pull back.

"Mood killer," you accused, hands on his chest while you caught your breath. He just grinned and moved his hands from your waist to grab yours, holding one against his chest before bringing the other to his lips, kissing your knuckles.

You knew deep down that this boy was a romantic.

"That's how I thought kissing you the first time would have been like, not when I was drunk and fucked up," he breathed out, making you smile a little. "I'm sorry for messing it up."

"You didn't mess anything up," you pushed his hair back, taking in his slightly happier expression. "And you've thought about kissing me before?"

The blush rising across his cheeks made your little jab worth it, and he just rolled his eyes and brought his lips to yours again, fighting the urge to smile.

"Maybe a couple times."

#peter parker x reader #peter parker fic #peter parker reader insert #spider-man x reader #spider-man fic #spiderman x reader #peterpparkerwrites masterlist #my writing

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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

Text

Sweet | Jung Jaehyun

❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.

Word count: 13,707k

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene, mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX!

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry.

Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.

Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.

“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.

“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.

The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”

“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”

“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.

And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.

“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.

“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.

“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”

And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.

When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.

“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”

“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“

“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.

The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.

Eight years ago

“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”

Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.

“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.

“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.

“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.

As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.

And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.

“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.

The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.

At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.

“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.

“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.

As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.

“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.

In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.

You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.

“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.

Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.

Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.

Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.

And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.

He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.

"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.

If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.

You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.

For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.

Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.

Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.

As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.

“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.

The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.

“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.

But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.

“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“

And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.

When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.

For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”

Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.

“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”

You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.

“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.

He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.

He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.

“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.

“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.

“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”

“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.

“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.

Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.

“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.

Thrust

He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.

While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.

“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.

“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.

“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.

To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.

You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.

Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.

Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.

It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.

“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.

“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.

“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“

“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.

Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.

During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.

Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.

You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.

It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.

Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.

Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.

“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.

Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.

For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.

Senior year

In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.

“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.

“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“

“Stop it with your nonsense John”

“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.

“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.

Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“

“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.

“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.

“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.

“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.

Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.

The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.

After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”

Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?

Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.

“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.

“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.

Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.

Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.

“Your ears are red,” you teased him.

“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.

“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.

This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.

“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.

“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.

“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.

“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”

And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.

Then,

“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”

And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.

On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.

“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”

There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.

“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.

You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.

When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.

“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.

The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.

“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.

Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.

Finally. You both thought.

But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.

Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.

Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.

He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.

And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.

“I missed you too” finally you said it.

He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.

“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.

“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.

You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.

“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.

“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”

The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.

When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.

“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”

“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.

“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.

But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.

He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.

It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.

“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”

You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.

“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”

“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.

The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.

Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.

Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.

And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.

Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.

“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.

“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.

Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.

Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.

This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.

“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.

After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.

“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.

“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.

“And?”

“I’ll miss you”

Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.

He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.

You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.

The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.

“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.

“Yeah, just buying us dinner”

“Good. Y/n is on her period”

“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.

“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“

“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”

When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.

“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.

“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.

“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.

“Google says sex is good when-“

“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.

“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.

“I am” you admitted

“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.

“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.

Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.

“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.

“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.

“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.

“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.

While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.

The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.

Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.

“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.

“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.

“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”

“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.

“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.

“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...

“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”

“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”

“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.

“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.

The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.

Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.

After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.

“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.

“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”

“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.

“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”

The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.

You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“

“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.

“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.

“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”

“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.

The fight was short but unforgettable.

Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.

“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.

You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.

FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)

It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.

When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.

You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.

When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.

“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.

But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.

“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.

Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.

“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”

But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR

“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”

And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.

All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.

Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.

Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.

Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.

While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.

“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.

“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.

“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.

Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room

“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.

And so he did.

He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.

Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.

As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.

“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.

“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.

“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.

When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.

“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.

“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?

The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.

On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.

Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Five years later

When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.

“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.

“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.

“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.

“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.

“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.

“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”

“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.

“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.

“Sorry, that was so childish of me”

“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”

Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.

But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.

“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.

#nct-writers #neosmutcollective #neowritingsnet #kwritersworldnet #kpopscape #kdiner #cznnet #nct smut #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #jaehyun smut #jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun x reader #nct jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun scenarios

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whoseafraidofliloleme · 3 years

Text

Invisible Chapter 13

Summary: YN YLN has always been third in Class 2-5, right behind Lee Su Ho and Kang Soo Jin but with both of them having left Saebom Highschool, this is her time to shine. That is until Han Seosangnim asks her to tutor Han Seo Jun. A guy who doesn’t even know she existed.

Ship: Han Seo Jun x Female Reader.

Word Count: 2489 words.

Sorry, it's been so long since the last chapter... Im in my third year of university and that ish is hard. No idea when I'll be writing and posting the next chapter. Sorry for the very sporadic update schedule this fic has.

Thank you to everyone who is still reading this. Hopefully, you all enjoy this chapter.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated with any reactions or whatever you want to say. Again I really don't know where I am going with this.

Taglist: @thealexalcala @hayateotaku @tomihoeka @goatqueen3 @jeminiepabo @hiraeth-maximoff @yaomomvs

Anyone interested in being added to the tag list, just let me know 😊.

True Beauty Masterlist.

Chapter 12.

Chapter 13:

From the high of the weekend. Monday was a different story. As Seo Jun looked at YN, Hyun Ji and Si Woo sat together eating lunch in silence. This was quite a departure from when the trio would sit with the group and eat. Loudly chatting, being annoying and just having fun. This whole day the three of them had been acting weird. Feeling someone tap his shoulder, he looked at Ju Kyung, she nodded her head in their direction.

“Something is definitely wrong with them. Hyun Ji and Si Woo just started dating but neither are acting like it. YN should be over the moon but she’s just upset” Ju Kyung said looking at the three of them sadly. Soo Ah, Seo Jun and Cho Rong all nodded their heads.

“It’s almost like we’ve gone back in time with Hyun Ji and YN being isolated from our Class but worse because none of us knows why they are being like that. At least before we could blame Hae Sung but who knows the reason this time.” Soo Ah sighed, she hated what was happening today. From the moment the YN and Hyun Ji stepped into class this morning, they looked sad and like they hadn’t slept all night. In YN’s case, she looked like she had been crying. When she saw Si Woo, he seemed just as depressed as the other two.

“Well, we’ve got to get to the bottom of this. I can’t handle YN looking so sad and not knowing who I should be beating up for it” Seo Jun huffed out. He was annoyed. After that cheek kiss, it had taken the whole of Sunday, a video chat with Su Ho, Ju Kyung screaming at him and Cho Rong writing up a whole plan. For him to finally be ready to ask YN out today. Only for YN to come in looking like she had found out her whole life was a lie.

Ju Kyung whacked his shoulder. Making Seo Jun yelp. Which made YN, Hyun Ji and Si Woo turn to look at them. Seo Jun saw YN give him a small smile. Seo Jun smiled back at her happy that he at least managed to make her smile once today.

“You know very well Han Seo Jun, that the last thing YN would want is for you to beat up someone. She’s stopped you from beating up Hae Sung enough times for you to know better” Ju Kyung told Seo Jun angrily. While he agreed with what she said. Physically hurting whoever made YN sad would make him feel better. Yet finding out what was upsetting her was the first priority. The second was making YN happy. And if he could get away with it, he would beat someone up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day had gone by pretty quickly. Unfortunately, School and the antics of your class didn’t help, in taking your mind away from thinking about what you’d found out about Hae Sung.

You felt guilty about ruining Hyun Ji and Si Woo’s first day as a couple in school. They were just as upset if not more about everything. They didn’t deserve to have their day ruined by Hae Sung and his manipulations. You knew they were angry on your behalf. You loved them for it but they should enjoy being a couple today.

They had slept over at your house and the three of you had come to School together. You had made up your mind to send them off to just spend time together, just have a date or whatever but anything that didn’t involve you being the third wheel. Also so they could just relish in the fact that they were finally together after so many years of pining after each other.

That plan of yours was thwarted the moment, you saw Cho Rong and Ju Kyung dragging Si Woo and Hyun Ji into the classroom where you were with Seo Jun for your tutoring session. Seo Jun stood up and stood at the front of the class. Cho Rong told Hyun Ji and Si Woo to sit next to you. Silently they took their seats, looking at you with questions in their eyes. You shrugged; you had no idea what was going on. Cho Rong cleared his throat and you three turned to look at him. He was standing with Ju Kyung and Seo Jun. All three had their arms crossed.

“Uh what the hell is going on?” Si Woo after it had been silent for some time, with them just looking at you. Making you squirm, Hyun Ji looking away and Si Woo failing to keep eye contact with any of them.

“We should be asking you three that, today you’ve all been acting weird, and we would like to know why,” Ju Kyung said politely. You exchanged looks with Hyun Ji and Si Woo. The three of you nodded in unison. Hyun Ji opened her mouth to reply but you cut her off.

“I’ll explain but can you guys let Hyun Ji and Si Woo go. They were going on a date after school and well the reason for us acting weird is all to do with me anyway” You quickly say. Despite their protests. Cho Rong escorts them out of the classroom. Once he comes back you take a deep breath.

“Uh before I start, I just want to know, why do you guys, dislike Lee Hae Sung?” You ask calmly. Cho Rong lets out a laugh while Seo Jun and Ju Kyung look confused.

“I’ve got a list of reasons, but my main reason is that the guy acts like he is so much better than everyone. He treats everyone, apart from you YNie his best friend like dirt” Cho Rong proclaimed. You nodded your head agreeing. Hae Sung didn’t know how to treat people he perceived to be beneath him. No matter how much you lectured him on treating everyone the same. He just didn’t listen. You turned to Ju Kyung, nodding at her to speak.

“I haven’t been here long enough but every time I’ve seen Lee Hae Sung, he has either been shouting at you YNie or he’s being mean to our classmates. Oh, and the time he almost hit Hyun Ji. That was the worst thing he could’ve done. So, I just stay out of his way” You sighed, everything Ju Kyung said was true. Hae Sung had made the worst impression on her. Ju Kyung hadn’t even been at Saebom High School for that long, but she knew to steer clear from Hae Sung.

“I’ve got quite the story. Sometime after we first started at Saebom, Su Ho and I heard this guy shouting in a classroom and then that guy stormed out of the classroom. We went to the classroom to see what was going on. We heard this girl crying but we didn’t know what to do. So Su Ho messaged Soo Jin to come to that classroom, we waited outside till Soo Jin came. Later she told us what was going on. I hated Hae Sung from the moment I found out that he screamed at her girl and left her to tears” Seo Jun told you.

You didn’t know what to say to that. You had no idea that Seo Jun and Su Ho had called Soo Jin when they heard you crying. To think that would’ve been your first meeting with Seo Jun. You with your eyes red and puffy from crying. Well, you’d cried in front of him before and you already liked the guy. But as a first meeting, it would’ve been disastrous.

“Uh, that would’ve been an interesting first meeting, to say the least right.” Why would you say that? What is wrong with you. You just looked down berating yourself for even opening your mouth after what Seo Jun had revealed.

Ju Kyung and Cho Rong looked at Seo Jun confused. Seo Jun was thinking about what you’d just said when it clicked in his head.

“You were the girl, Hae Sung made cry that day.” Seo Jun exclaimed shocked. You just nodded your head before looking back down at the ground, fiddling with your hands nervously.

You could feel the tears gathering in our eyes. You furiously started blinking, you were not going to cry in front of Ju Kyung and Cho Rong. Not in front of Seo Jun again. You’d cried enough yesterday, how did you still have tears left to spill.

Seo Jun saw you with your head ducked down. The anger that had built up in him left instantaneously. All he wanted to do was comfort you. Be the shoulder for you to cry on again. He looked at Ju Kyung and Cho Rong. Whispered for them to leave. They left immediately. Seo Jun knelt in front of you. He took hold of your hands in his. This made you look up at him.

As you two gazed into each other’s eyes. A tear slipped out of your eyes. Gently Seo Jun wiped that tear away.

“Hey, let’s not cry. Lee Hae Sung is not worth your precious tears. It hurts me to see you cry Princess” You smile softly at what Seo Jun says. It’s been some time since he’s called you that. You’ve missed it. It was supposed to be patronising when he first called you Princess but since then it has become an inside joke between you two. That Seo Jun only uses to make you smile.

“Sorry, I always seem to end up crying in front of you,” You say sadly. It’s not that you hated crying or thought it was bad. No, you like any other girl who liked a guy. Just wanted to show him the best of you. Not your crying face. You wanted Seo Jun to remember how you looked in your pretty dress from the Ball. Not for your crying face to be what he remembers. Only because he’s seen it so many times before.

Unbeknownst to the two of you in the classroom. Ju Kyung and Cho Rong were outside looking at the scene before them. They couldn’t hear what was going on but seeing was enough for them.

“Do you think Seo Jun will do it?” Cho Rong whispers to Ju Kyung.

She looks at Cho Rong before looking back at the two people in the classroom. From the way Seo Jun was looking at you and how you were looking back with the same look in your eyes.

“Honestly I hope so but at this rate, they might just kiss, and I’ll take that as a win,” Ju Kyung says quietly. Cho Rong nods his head in agreement, turning to look back at the two of you in the classroom.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Princess. I’d gladly always be the shoulder you cry on.” Seo Jun tell you. You look at him in shock. You had convinced yourself that Seo Jun must hate you for crying so much around him. To hear the opposite from his won mouth you were stunned.

Seo Jun can’t help but laugh at your shocked face. You were just too cute for words sometimes. Seo Jun gets you to stand up. You do and he hugs you. Surprised you become still. Then you relax and wrap your arms around Seo Jun, hugging him. After what felt like hours to both of you. You let go of each other. You smile at Seo Jun, who smiles back at you.

“How do you seem to know the right things to say to me Han Seo Jun,” You ask jokingly. Not really expecting an answer, you’ve started to get your things and are packing up when Seo Jun’s answer stops you.

“Well, when I see your tears YLN YN I just say the first thing that I hope will make you smile,” Seo Jun says. Seeing that you’ve stopped moving. He comes closer to you.

You look at him, as he walks towards you. If this was a drama, there would be some sappy song playing in the background. Alas, the only things you can hear is your heart pounding furiously and the shouts of the boy’s playing basketball outside the classroom.

Seo Jun smiles at you. He puts some hair that had fallen into your face behind your ear. He smiles when he sees your face heating up. You were too adorable and if he didn’t ask you out now. He would forever be annoyed with himself.

“Uh, the reason we were all acting so weird today was that yesterday we found out some stuff regarding me and Hae Sung which made me rethink why I ever considered him my best friend.” you blurt out suddenly. The tension was rising in the room and in a panic, you simply told Seo Jun what had been going on today.

Seo Jun blinks. Processing what you just told him. Makes sense that it would be Lee Hae Sung as the reason for you being upset. It was always that guy. Just once Seo Jun wanted to punch the idiot. But he knew how much that would disappoint you. The last thing Seo Jun wanted to do was disappoint you by picking a fight with Hae Sung.

Sighing, Seo Jun started to pick up his things as well. You were waiting for him. The moment was gone. No, that moment was gone but Seo Jun was determined. He did not spend the whole of yesterday being screamed at, talking to and being given a whole plan. That he doesn’t ask you out today.

As you were walking towards to door, Seo Jun grabbed your wrist gently. You turned to look at him confusion clear in your eyes. He smiles at you, and you smile back still confused.

“I wanted to know if you wanted to go out tomorrow. Not us studying outside of school. No. I Han Seo Jun am asking you YLN YN out on a date?”

You look at Seo Jun in astonished silence. You didn’t hear that correctly. You shake your head, look at Seo Jun holding your wrist. Your eyes follow his arm up to his face. You look into his eyes. Those eyes you could drown in. There is nothing but sincerity in his eyes. This guy you like is genuinely asking you out. You open your mouth to reply but no sounds come out. Taking a deep breath. You look at Seo Jun smiling at you. You can’t help but smile back at him.

“Yes, I’d love to go on a date with you Han Seo Jun” In his excitement Seo Jun picks you up, spinning you around. You laugh, telling him to put you down. He does and then takes your hand in his, interlocking your fingers you both walk out of the classroom.

Chapter 14.

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gummygowon · 3 years

Text

cute relationship things with ateez!

genre: fluff (a lot)

warnings: none :)

established relationship!

a/n: i meant to post this like two weeks ago but i never finished it so consider this an early valentine’s day gift <3 ;)

seonghwa:

for some reason, i feel like seonghwa likes to read books

with that being said, on lazy days where you guys didn’t want to get up and do anything

you guys would read books !!!

before you guys would read some were recommendations from each other on your own

and then maybe rant to each other over little details about the book like how the main character went back to their toxic ex or how the ending of a book was so bad

“seonghwa, how did you even read this?!? the stupid ass main character keeps going back to that one jerk! like does she not realize she deserves more than his ugly ass???!!!?”

“y/n, just keep reading.”

“but hwa-”

turns out the main character got with the other woman yayyyyy!!! fuck shitty men

i don’t know how it happened but you guys started your own little book club with each other

so you guys could finally talk rant together at the same time about the book

so since you guys started to read the same book and if you guys found down time together you would read together

like, imagine it’s a peaceful friday night

seonghwa is back from work and so are you

you guys already showered and ate dinner

you’re just reading and then seonghwa just scoops you up and then puts you in between his legs with your back against his chest

and you’re like “wtf bro?”

and he’s just like, “what? i wanna read too???”

“didn’t you like read ahead tho??”

“yeah, but i wanna read it again.”

that was a fatass lie

he just wanted to be close to you

hongjoong:

ok so, we all know that this man is hella busy all the time

mans is the leader, song writer, producer, dancer, rapper (which is why he is good at all positions)

but you were patient with him and whenever he goes days without seeing you due to his busy ass schedule he would make it up to you yk what i mean

but on the more chill days when you saw hongjoong or even the days where he was cooped in his studio (you would visit him there because sometimes you just had to see him)

you guys would just lay on the couch, just enjoying each other’s presence and not feel like you have to make up for lost time

you would be on the bottom on your phone or reading a magazine/book

then hongjoong would be at the top with his head on your stomach as he would be writing down lyrics that came to mind

killing two birds with one stone you feel me

sometimes you would show him a funny meme that you found or quote something that you just read to him

“hongjoong, look at the way he fell!” you would be dying of laughter

and then he wouldn’t notice because he was really roped into making lyrics

but you also didn’t see him focusing so much because you were of course laughing at the kid that accidentally got bitchslapped off the couch because of their sibling

“joongie look!!!”

“what is it?”

you would then show him what happened and then he would look at with that “you really interrupted me for this??” type of look

“i just lost my train of thought for this song because you wanted to show me this kid falling off of a couch???”

“yes?”

he would just bring a hand to his face and think what tf? why tf? and then slowly start laughing because of what just happened

“see, wasn’t it funny?”

“a child getting hurt isn’t funny, y/n” he would laugh while scolding you

yunho:

yunho powers im sorry for this one

alright so, it’s night time

you guys are about to go to bed after a long day or work/school whatever

your eyes are fluttering closed because the day got you beat beat

but then yunho just kisses your face

and then you open your eyes slowly again to see yunho look like he just got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do

like imagine a kid that just got caught drawing on the walls

that’s what his face would look like

he’s just laying there like “i thought you were asleep...”

“i was just about to...”

yunho feels lowkey guilty now because you’re awake now and he knows you had a long day

he just couldn’t resist kissing you

you just looked so pretty and peaceful sleeping

mans was reminded by the universe themself about how lucky he was being able to date you

like, godamn what did he do in his past life to deserve you?

ok, back to this reaction idea thing-

yunho would apologize for waking you up with his cheeks a nice rosy color

you just look at him with tired eyes

“i’ll forgive you, if you give me more kisses.”

and yunho’s smile just lights up the whole damn room and he’s like oh? say less

so he goes to kissing your face

like all over

your nose

your cheeks

forehead

basically anywhere ok?

and you end up laughing because it tickles

but you just want him to kiss your lips which he does

... eventually lmao

but when he does your still laughing which causes him to laugh

he tells you “i love you, did you know that?”

and you get all flustered and shit but you still keep that playful energy around

“i love you too, but you aren’t forgiven just yet”

which leads to more kisses :))))

yeosang:

ok so you’re now the busy one

yeosang has so much respect for you because holy shit how do you balance that busy ass schedule of yours

your homework loads were no jokes

then to add to that you have a job which was even more stressful

it was amazing how you can manage all that and still keep a smile on your face

you also had major respect for yeosang as an idol

the industry was not a place to fuck around

you couldn’t be happier that your boyfriend was lucky enough to have a group who actually cared and supported each other

speaking of ateez, yeosang isn’t the most touchy person in the world

you didn’t mind of course, you’re the same way

however, when he did give you cuddles and kisses you would be a blushing mess

a sort of rare sight that yeosang loved to see

anyways, one night you were busy writing those argumentative essays that you were sure that your fingers would fall off by the time you were finished

you were working on it ever since you got home from school (with the occasional food and bathroom breaks )to the time when yeosang came back from practice

you moved to your shared bed by the time the sweaty boy came home and he was surprised that you were working on one subject for so long

the stupid piece was almost finished by the time yeosang was out of the shower

however, you didn’t even notice

you were too immersed in your writing to notice

yeosang took this as an opportunity to sit behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and watch over your shoulder as you worked

and of course, he would kiss your cheek occasionally

this was super sweet gesture but yeosang but you didn’t the notice that he wrapped his arms around you

“ai yah! what the hell?” you yelled and turned around to see your boyfriend clutching his chest

“oh it’s just you.”

yeosang would give you a deadpanned look and be like, “yeah, who else tf???”

you would apologize and kissing his cheek before returning to back to work

which yeosang would return to hugging your waist and keep his head on your shoulder

and give you occasional kisses on your cheek or neck

after that night, it became a weekly occurrence

which you loved of course, who wouldn’t love their bf cuddling them while they chased their bag

san:

i am very excited for this one

ok so, san loves playing with your hair

it’s just so much fun

running his fingers through it or just attempting to braid it or put it into a tiny ponytail

he loved it

he would probably always play with your while you were watching tv together, sitting together in the car, or even before you guys fall asleep

then one day after san came home early from work

you guys were chilling on the bed watching the latest k-drama that came out since san made you wait so you guys could watch it together

san was in between your legs with his back leaning against your chest

and that’s when you decided to run your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair

that’s also when san asked you to braid his hair

“sure, what type of braid though?”

“there’s different kinds????”

“yes, san. now pick one.” you gave him your phone that was pulled up to different types braids.

“i want the french ones. they sound fancy.”

you roll your eyes and start sectioning his hair into two sections and start braiding his hair and lightly pull on the pink strands because you know san likes his hair pulled

so you doing his hair right

and you begin rambling about your day/week

talking about whatever interesting happened to you because you know that san likes hearing you talk no matter what it’s about

however, you were knee deep into talking about the latest drama at work that you didn’t even realize that san stopped talking

“san?”

he didn’t answer and his head would be dipping down so low you were surprised you didn’t fall over

“baby?”

san still wouldn’t respond to you

but this time he just flipped over so his head would be on your stomach as he wrapped your arms around your stomach

“mmmmmmm?”

“nevermind love, just sleep.”

he would respond by burying his head further into your stomach and tightened his hold around you

you kissed his head and ran your fingers through his hair which lulled san to sleep even more

“goodnight sannie.”

mingi:

you have been best friends with song mingi ever since you moved into the tiny neighborhood that you call home

it all started when your parents brought you over to your next door neighbor’s house for breakfast on a cold saturday morning

you were extremely shy when you were little so the only thing you could remember about your first experience with mingi was hiding behind your mother’s leg for the first hour of being there and watching the young boy play with his toy cars and planes before he finally offered a pirate ship to you

ever since that unforgettable saturday, you pretty much spent the rest of your childhood with mingi

you guys were practically joined at the hip

even when you were getting endlessly teased by your classmates for the first month of school for having an accent whenever you spoke

which resulted in you running to the bathroom crying

not even a minute later, you heard someone burst through the girls’ bathrrom

“y/n?”

you peaked your head out of the stall to see your tall neighbor looking out of breath

“mingi, you aren’t supposed to be here!” you said in between sobs

“it’s okay, i don’t care.” he said as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around you. “are you okay?”

you shook your head no looking at him with tears running down your face

the poor boy was internally freaking out since he has no clue on how to comfort people (especially if they’re a girl)

he was like eight at the time give him a little break

so of course, his first reaction was to make you laugh somehow

and he did this by randomly recreating the “boots and cats, boots and cats” rhythm after seeing siri do it in a youtube video and started to bop his head

surprised by his sudden movements, you laughed out of pure confusion

as soon as mingi saw the corner of your lips flip upwards he began rapping faster to the point where he was gasping for breath leading him into a coughing fit

“mingi you can breathe, y’know!” you giggled in between words

after the young boy had caught his breath from hacking away at his lungs, he smiled at you

until- the teacher had came into the bathroom, scolding mingi for going into the girls’ restroom

even though mingi didn’t care at all that he got in trouble, the only thing he cared about was that you were feeling better

ever since then whenever you were sad or having a bad day mingi would whip out his phone and ask siri to rap while he free-styled over the monotone voice

he literally still does it

even two years into your relationship-

“siri, can you rap for me?” mingi would ask his phone as he pointed his free arm at you

“boots and cats-”

“mingi, please no.” you laughed in between tears, your mood rising with every beat

wooyoung:

i wholeheartedly believe that wooyoung would kiss you face if you were sad

but the first time this happened, you guys were still fairly new into your relationship

which meant that you weren’t completely ready to be extremely vulnerable around wooyoung

because in your mind, letting someone see you at your lowest lows of means that you really trust and love someone to let them see you like that

you always wanted to be known as the strong person in the friend group

you were that glue that held everyone together

always listening to others and taking care of others before yourself

which is why wooyoung fell in love with you in the first place

he had never been in a relationship where someone was so caring and thoughtful of others that he was scared that he wouldn’t be enough for you and that you deserved better

of course, he didn’t tell you that right away but he confessed to you about that wayyy later in your relationship which is another story to be told

but one day, life was coming at you so fucking fast

assignments were piling up left and right and deadlines were literally every other day

and then there seemed to be an increase in the amount of angry karens at your work

and your patience was thinning everyday with those people

then to top it all off, all the tests you’ve been studying for, you got mediocre grades, some even worse in other subjects

it just felt like no matter how much work you put into whatever you do, you got half ass results

it was just pushing your mental health further into the ground

you could handle a C every once in awhile but multiple? on back to back tests? no fucking way you just couldn’t

those stupid, dark thoughts would cloud your mind in an instant and on days like this, you would just let them consume you

you were too tired to pick yourself up again and fight back which led to you crying in wooyoung’s arms

usually, you would feel so embarrassed crying over things like this when you know other people have it worse but you couldn’t hold in it anymore

you ranted about yourself in between your hiccups from crying which would hurt wooyoung’s heart a little bit

because he thought of you as such a strong and kind person- the complete opposite of what you were saying about yourself

so when you were done talking, wooyoung made you look at him and assured you that you were not any of those nasty things that you said about yourself

each insult turned into a thoughtful compliment accompanied by a kiss

“y/n, you are so intelligent-”

kiss

“caring-”

kiss

“beautiful-”

kiss

“more than everything i ever wanted”

kiss

by the time wooyoung was done, you were a giggling mess

“and this is why i love you.”

he finally kissed you on your lips, smiling into it like the dork he is

it was the first ever time he told you that he loved you

jongho:

i am also a firm believer that jongho would sing his s/o to sleep

like with that heavenly voice of his, he better put them to sleep

so on the first night you ever slept with jongho, you were too nervous to go to bed even though your body was screaming at you to close your eyes

you kept tossing and turning every few minutes or your eyes would shoot open with your heart racing

at this point, you gave up on trying to sleep and got up (carefully to not wake up your sleeping boyfriend) to get a drink

while you were in the kitchen, clutching your chest in an effort to get yourself to calm down, jongho had stirred awake to an empty bed

a flash of panic surged through his body as he momentarily forgot where he was since he wasn’t at his dorm his room never looked this clean

yawning, the vocalist would wander into the light with his eyes squinted, “y/n?”

“oh my god!” you jumped, water almost spilling out your glass

jongho covered his ears, “what are you doing up?”

“oh,” you felt your cheeks turn red since you felt bad for waking your boyfriend up. “i can’t sleep.”

“why?” he asked, walking towards the couch.

“i don’t know.” you answered as you followed close behind.

you curled up next to jongho, clutching his shirt “i’m sorry for waking you up.”

jongho smiled tiredly at you before kissing your head, “don’t be. it’s okay. i don’t have work tomorrow anyways.”

you smiled in response before the two of you guys fell into a silence

“do you want me to sing you to sleep?”

“yes, please.” you murmured into his side as jongho placed his other arm around you, successfully trapping you in between his arms

he began singing softly into your ear as he stroked your hair

his warm voice coaxing your eyes to close

at last, your mind was at peace with itself

your heart beat slowing down

and by the time the song was finished you were fast asleep in arms

jongho kissed your forehead once more

“i love you.”

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