#im so jealous of those who got to witness this in person

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#Exile My Beloved

[x]

[love-belle]

you got me thinking nonsense !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which heartbreak led to her real love and she'd be damned if she didn't make sure everyone knows that.

or

for when they're everything to you. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

prequel - light as a feather ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - posting this i simply couldn't resist!!! i'll try my HARDEST to post carlos' version of shout out to my ex tonight but if not then tomorrow fs <3 thank u so much for reading, i love u <3

taglist - @marsdreamworld @eviethetheatrefreak @22yuki @incoherenciass @bb-swift @willowpains @lordperceval-16 (tagging all those who asked for part ii <3)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, f1updates, exwagsclub and 79,726 others

paddock.club y/n y/l/n and charles leclerc spark dating rumours as they were seen out on a "date", which were further confirmed as the couple shared a kiss. for weeks, y/l/n and leclerc have been having coy and not-so-platonic interactions on social media and fans have speculated that these two are more just friends. this news comes after y/n's break up with a fellow driver of charles and while neither y/n or her ex have commented on this, it's clear that they didn't have a clean break up as there were rumours of cheating surrounding the ex. for more details, click on the link in our bio.

tagged charles_leclerc yourusername

589 comments

username LMFAOAOOA THE WAY LANDO ISN'T EVEN MENTIONED HERE

username "the ex" ur so right he's not worth mentioning 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

username olivia was talking abt lando when she sang "some weird second string loser who's not worth mentioning"

*liked by oliviarodrigo*

username my true parents fr ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username she looks sooo happy with him im so happy for her

username love how none of yes are surprised like we all saw this coming

username the way l*ndo isn't even mentioned ONCE like that's what u get for cheating babes!!!!!!!!!

username CHARLES AND Y/N FUCK YEA

username she genuinely looks so much happier with charles like this is the type of relationship she deserved ❤️

username IM ❤️ SO ❤️ HAPPY ❤️ FOR ❤️ THEM ❤️

username no bc there was no way they thought that they'd be able to convince us that they weren't together

username istg i see one person comment some out of pocket shit im SWINGING

username l*ndo's crying rn like i can Feel it

username no bc HOW'D he pull 😭😭😭😭😭

-> username fr like u put him near y/n he starts malfunctioning

-> username no bc that one interview where he forgot his own team's name js bc y/n walked past him is LIVING proof

username i know the driver's gc is WILDIN rn

username see now idk who to be jealous of

-> username the only correct answer is both

username no bc IMAGINE THE SONGS SHE'LL WRITE ABOUT HIM!!!!!!

username pretty people (y/n and charles) ruining it for the ugly people (me) by getting together

username oh so he got GAME

username everyone bffr y/n was probably the one who took the initiative

username guys stop with all the l*ndo slander comments i can't like them all

username charles leclerc i will never forgive u for taking my wife

username im sooooOOOOooo normal about this. ha fucking ha.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 2,792,712 others

yourusername nonsense is now yours!!! i wrote this song on my very close friend's bedroom's floor and i can officially say that this is the most unhinged song i have ever written :) i love u all sooo much i could cry <3 (charles_leclerc be my personal photographer pls ❤️)

15,628 comments

username HELLO?????? PLEASE IM CRYING WHAT IS THIS SONG AND WHY IS IT MAKING ME CRY AND HORNY

username IM TALKIN OPPOSITE OF SOFT?????? Y/N?????????

username nah she's unhinged

username "on my very close friend's bedroom's floor" BABE WE KNOW

username how quickly can u take ur clothes off pop quiz 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

-> username oh she's wild for adding this

username IN LOVE WITH THE OUTRO

username PLEASE touch some grass and meditate

georgerussell63 wish i never heard it but cool beats x

-> yourusername i too wish u never heard it but thank u russell george x

username i know sebastian texted her after this

*liked by yourusername*

username okayyyy so at least he's winning off the track

-> username OH UR SO WRONG FOR THIS

username at least my girl's getting some good dick y'all leave her alone

username im a changed woman after hearing this song

username u gotta keep up with me!!!!! i got some young energy!!!!!!! i caught the l-o-v-e!!!! why do u do this to me!!!!!!!

username i know charles is blasting the SHIT out of this sin anthem (encouraging)

-> username PLEASE NOT SIN ANTHEM

lilymhe when will you write a song like this about me :/

-> yourusername if u would like i can show u????

-> lilymhe i'm On my way!

-> alex_albon STOP I'M STILL HERE

-> yourusername alex look away

-> charles_leclerc i'm

-> yourusername u too babe look AWAY

-> username BABE

-> username DID SHE JS CONFIRM IT FR FR

username said u like my eyes????? AND u like to make them roll??????

-> username if someone said that to me i would be AT the altar in most white dress ever

username charles won at life fr

username WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABT HOW GOOD SHE LOOKS IN THESE PHOTOS

-> username my heart stopped she's so barbie coded

charles_leclerc nice song

-> yourusername thank u

charles_leclerc any particular muse behind this?

-> yourusername js this cool guy i've been seeing

-> charles_leclerc "cool" huh? 😏😏😏😏🤪🤪🤪🤪🤗🤗🤗🤗🫡🫡🫡🫡🥶🥶🥶🥶😩😩😩😩🤧🤧🤧🤧☺️☺️☺️☺️😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰😚😚😚😚

-> yourusername yes charles u are cool

-> username MY GOD SOMEONE TAKE AWAY THIS MAN'S PHONE

-> username y/n be honest does he blush and giggle when u call him a pet name????

-> yourusername what do u think

-> username I KNEW IT OMG

charles_leclerc if the person in front of the camera is you, i will gladly be behind the camera for the rest of my life.

-> yourusername the most romantic thing u have ever said to me

-> charles_leclerc that's not true

-> yourusername u called me a chameleon yesterday

-> charles_leclerc because you wear a different shade of eye colour everyday

-> yourusername eye shadow* baby

-> charles_leclerc okay :D

-> username WHO IS THIS MAN

-> username nah he's GONE for her

≡;- ꒰ twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc and 1,538,976 others

charles_leclerc she wrote a song for me and while it wasn't the most romantic one, the sentiment is still appreciated. y/n, i adore you completely, even if you spend more time with my mom than you do with me. mon cœur ❤️ ( my heart )

tagged yourusername

12,629 comments

username im

username js gonna leave yeah (ABSHDHDJSJJSSJ)

username what do u MEAN charles is in love and what do u MEAN that it's not with me (i love them both sm)

username okayyyy she wrote how much she loves u and ur little thing that's the MOST romantic thing ever

-> username nah bestie given the way she wrote the song im not it's *little*

*liked by yourusername*

-> username GIRL PLEASE WHY ARE U LURKING

username i love them both so much

carlossainz55 you two make me nauseous but it's been a long time coming 🤍 happy for you both !!

-> charles_leclerc thank you for your approval <3

-> carlossainz55 had to make sure you'd treat her better 🤷

-> username "treat her better" is speaking VOLUMES

-> username i love carlos so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username y/n being the grid's favourite is my aesthetic 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

username I LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH THEY'RE MY PARENTS LIKE AJSJSKSKSJKSKKS

username "mon cœur" can u hear me SCREAMING 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username they genuinely deserve all the happy things in life like im SO fr

username ferrari better get their shit in order bc i know that if they fuck up again y/n is fr gonna destroy them and idk if that's gonna be by words or by a song or she's straight up gonna fist fight them

*liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and carlossainz55*

danielricciardo at least she writes you songs, she writes me threatening messages

-> yourusername U CALLED ME THAT MCDONALD'S CLOWN

-> charles_leclerc i'm not gonna intervene

-> danielricciardo BECAUSE YOU LOOKED LIKE ONE

-> yourusername THAT'S JS CHARLES NOT ME

-> charles_leclerc i am going to intervene

username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ about them

username i just fell to the floor what the fuck

username IM SOOOOOOOOO *cries*

lewishamilton 🫶🏼

*liked by charles_leclerc*

username i KNOW lando is pulling at his hair rn

username THAT NOTE OH MY GOD

username pls god when will it be me

username im so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

yourusername wdym "u said u like my eyes and u like to make em roll" is not romantic

-> charles_leclerc the most romantic thing i have ever heard in my eye

-> yourusername ❤️

yourusername i love ur mom

-> charles_leclerc i know

-> leclerc_pascale mon ange 😘

-> yourusername MAMA LECLERC ❤️❤️❤️

-> charles_leclerc and i'm right here...

yourusername cannot wait to write songs for u my entire life

-> charles_leclerc cannot wait to compose piano pieces for you 😘

-> username IM SCREAMING

-> username WHAT DO U MEAN HE COMPOSES PIANO PIECES FOR HER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username they're so

username i would give anything to have a love like that 😭😭😭😭😭

username im crying.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, lorenzotl, lilymhe and 2,975,327 others

yourusername looking at u got me thinking nonsense!!!!!!!!!!! also special thanks to landonorris bc if not for him i wouldn't have met the love of my life so thanks dude even if ur a prepubescent piece of shit

tagged charles_leclerc

18,629 comments

username IM HOWLING WHAT THE FUCK

username THE TAG THE CAPTION

username prepubescent piece of shit will forever be engraved in my brain ❤️

username LMFAOAOAOAO

username y/n y/m/n y/l/n u will always be famous

username IM CRYINF WHAT THEBFUCK

lewishamilton both of you 💕

-> yourusername we love u lewis <3

username she will never let l*ndo live in peace and i love her sm for that

username i just cackled out loud why is she so funny

username SHE'S SOOOO UNSERIOUS

username i js know charles is MADLY in love with her bc HOW can u not be

username she's so unhinged. i love her.

username screaming

lilymhe i thought we were something

-> yourusername babygirl u own my heart and 4ever will

-> alex_albon wow.

-> charles_leclerc oh my god

username they're so adorable 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username THEM

username no bc charles deffo manifested this shit like imagine having a crush on someone for YEARS and then they date ur friend but the friend cheats on them and u end up together like woahh wildddd

-> username and then they write a song about u

-> username AND THEN THEY WRITE A SONG ABOUT U

oscarpiastri a scream just erupted from *his* driver's room

*liked by yourusername*

-> username target audience reached 🫡

username stop with the l*ndo hate comments i seriously CANNOT like them all

username i would do anything to go to a driver's meeting ANYTHING

maxverstappen1 nice caption

-> yourusername thank u :) an angry dutch proof read this

username max proof reading this caption is sooo funny like omg

-> username they're truly destroying his peace and i respect them so much

username i truly cannot wait for the next race

username NO BC DID SOMEONE SEE THAT CLIP WHERE NONSENSE PLAYED IN THE PADDOCK WHILE LANDO WAS THERE AND HE LOOKED SO 😒😒😒😒😒😒

-> username LMFAOAOAOA THAT WAS HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY

-> username truly a cinematic piece ❤️

charles_leclerc was the first photo necessary

-> yourusername absolutely like look at my man ❤️

charles_leclerc looking at YOU got ME thinking nonsense

-> yourusername stop im blushing

charles_leclerc i thought we'd be nice

-> yourusername no YOU'D be nice i'd be mean

-> charles_leclerc okay amour ( my love )

charles_leclerc i love you ❤️

-> yourusername i caught the l-o-v-e

-> yourusername i love you more ❤️

username IM SOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username charles and y/n ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username me when.

[seysei]

Who could touma be talking about here?

From the first time you read it, it's easy to assume that he is referring to Mikuni, because the memory that follows this, is one where touma extends his hands to younger Mikuni with the intention of "helping" him

A scene that we see again in chapter 125, this time showing you a clearer version of when touma first introduced himself to Mikuni, the same image of him smiling, but from Jeje's point of view.

(btw I say "helping" because it's clear Touma had malicious intentions)

However, when it was shown in those memories that touma was being jealous of a certain somebody and said the following-

"... Why? Why him and not me? I should have..

Even though my ability is much greater. Just because he was born in a well to do family...

I'll drag him down."

-Was it really Mikuni he was talking about? It's easy to think so, because those lines are followed by a memory of him extending his hand to a younger Mikuni as I've mentioned earlier, with malicious intentions saying he was just trying to "help" him, moreover Mikuni does fit the description of someone born in a well to do family. However if we put it all together, at that time, I don't recall anything special happening to Mikuni that could have made Touma envious of Him. At that time he introduces himself to Mikuni, whom is around 16 years old, Mikuni had literally just witnessed his mother try to kill herself before she got shot dead by Jeje whom he took as him own servamp. (crazy)

That is why, I think that the memory of touma being envious of someone isn't about Mikuni.

In short, I think that those pages are a bunch of different memories, events, that are fair to say happened far from each other, but in those panels Mahiru explores Touma's mind, they are put together in a way that makes it hard to tell which is linked to which.

(bear with me I'll tell you who I think touma was referring to soon. )

See this image, this memory, im sure it's of shuuhei's father's funeral. It looks exactly the same with what is written on the board and the people walking.

So I doubt that touma whom was at the funeral was jealous, of what? A dead person? (lol) therfore that little panel that you see underneath it where he starts his speech of "why him and not me?" must be at another event, an event unrelated to Mikuni, because time-line wise Mikuni should have been around the age of 5 at that event. (16 - 11)

The event I'm referring to is this.

Iori becoming the Head of his family and therfore getting a high status.

(Don't mind Kiriko, I just didn't wanna cut off her part because she's gorgeous and mesmerising--)

So to put it very simple and skip to the point, I think that this 'born in a well to do family' person, that touma was referring to, isn't Mikuni, but tsukimitsu Iori.

That is at least if my theory is right. So if my theory is right, this memory of Touma's speech "why him and not me?" happened about 11 years ago before he offered his "help" to Mikuni.

My theory is that Touma's envy we see in those memories is related to the event of Iori becoming the Head of the tsukimitsu family at the age of 18. Gaining that high status and authority, that Touma had wanted for himself since forever, making him envious of Iori that was born in a well to do family and this power, high status and authority is in his heritage.

After all, when Touma introduced himself to younger Mikuni as we saw in chapter 125, he didn't really introduce himself with his own name, rather he introduced himself as tsukimitsu Iori's friend. Perhaps believing it would be the appropriate introduction for Mikuni to trust him, since Iori was a man from a respectable and well to do family, became the head of the family at a young age yet those around him trusted him with that responsibility since he was a smart man, easily described as respectable and trustworthy.

Idk.

[noodles-and-oodles]

0_o

um- T*ey, A*e and A*ul with an s/o (hahah I'm totally not in love with those 3-) who loves romantic novels, and hides that secret until one day they caught s/o fangirling over them too hard- and wished they were like that with those 3-

ahem they got embarrassed after getting caught dhgdfhgh

i swear im not a simp-

(also drink plenty of water, and take your time dw <33)

I LOVE THIS??? JDJSJD LOL okay okay, non simp, this is for you! No gender specified so reader-san will be neutral 🙇‍♀️ AND YES I SHALL DRINK ALL DA WATERS!! Thank you for requesting @honey-milk-depresso and I hope this is to your liking!

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Trey Clover

Kind of ‘prince charming’ trope me thinks

It had always been your long time fantasy to have a romance just like the ones in your books and scarily enough, you got your wish sooner than expected!!

Trey was so kind to everyone in general that you thought he was a prince that jumped right out of one of your books but it couldn’t be that…

The third year was kind, considerate, helpful, and above all else, handsome. It’s a no brainer for why you fell for him but Trey’s reciprocating your feelings was never part of the plan

It was when the two of you had gone back to your room to study, that Trey witnessed your collection of romance novels, much to your horror. You had gotten so caught up in them that you forgot to tidy up after waking up late and now your mortal fear was laid out for your most important person to see…

To your surprise, Trey had picked up one of the books and smiled. He was aware of this one, it was a popular story back home in the Rose Kingdom, so he’s not entirely shocked. He thought you being an avid fan of such things was also very cute. Figuring that this is what you’re into, Trey asks if you want to try replicating some with a chuckle

He was joking (not entirely) but those words were enough for you to nearly break down into tears. You’d been so embarrassed about your hobby that it was a huge relief that Trey actually didn’t find it weird. So maybe…you can be more open about it? Of course you can ;)

Ace Trappola

‘My crush is my bully’ trope right here

Ace is 100% the bully in some of your books. He teases you relentlessly and may even play an occasional joke or two, but he made it clear that only he was allowed to do that. Anyone else that dared to mess with you would face his wrath…which may be one of the reasons that you fell for him

Ace doesn’t really have manners like normal people so him barging in your dorm isn’t too unusual. He thought he’d see you with your head deep in a book as usual and yes he did, but imagine his surprise when he sees you giggling like a crazy person while kicking your legs crazily

“What cha’ doin’?” [yes he says it like Isabella] Ace’s words made your blood go cold as you turned around slowly as if you were in a horror movie only to see Ace behind you with a shit eating grin

Before you knew it, your book was snatched out of your hands and Ace was reading the lines in it, all the while keeping you away as you desperately tried to grab it back from him. You were mortified, to say the least, being well aware of Ace’s teasing nature and surely this is not something he would let you live down for as long as the two of you are together…

But when a frown grows on Ace’s face, you’re the one that ends up confused. Ace’s mood had suddenly switched and it turns out that the little sucker is jealous! He complains about the male lead in the book, saying that Ace is waaaay better than him so why don’t you ever smile like that around him?

Shocked isn’t even the word but relief surely is! You never thought that your hobby would actually make Ace of all people jealous…then maybe you should stay quiet about how many of them have become your husbands in your mind…

Azul Ashengrotto

‘The CEO likes me’ trope no one is changing my mind

Azul was nothing but a gentleman to you, at all times, and he always seems to have very nice dates planned out. It was behind you how he managed to take your breath away each and every time. At some point, you were SERIOUSLY convinced that Azul has been reading your books and acting on them

The merman even had a darker side to him, just like the ML’s in your book! You’d heard the rumors but decided that maybe, just maybe Azul was actually different from what you’d heard and how glad you were to find out that you were right

You still kept up your reading hobby, but you definitely kept it on the low. You couldn’t be so embarrassing about your hobby around Azul but that didn’t matter because Azul was soon to find out

It would sometimes get boring waiting around for Azul to be finished with work and his duties as you sat in his office and waited so one day you brought one of your books, fully intent on finishing it but you accidentally dozed off…

When you woke up, all you saw was Azul intently reading the book you had bought and like you’d been shot with an arrow laced with horror, you sat up quickly. You stammered as you tried to think of something, ANYTHING to somehow explain that book but Azul didn’t even seem to care as he just showed you a page

It seems…Azul was also hooked! He was giving critique to the writing and the characters thoroughly, leaving you stunned momentarily but then you jumped right in with expressing your feelings on the book as well!

Azul is completely accepting of your hobby and even asks you to recommend him some!! He tries his best to finish them all and you guys have like a little book club thing whenever he does 🥰 I just think Azul would be an appreciator of romance novels.

[alpacahat67]

Why Idia Shroud’s Overblot Was the Most Justified (and Effective) ((in My Personal Opinion)) - An Infodump

<i emerge from my hole in the ground, holding anime boy versions of disney villains hades> i come bearing a little guy. anyways yeah you read the title im switching on Serious Mode, enjoy proper grammar **TRIGGER WARNING FOR DISCUSSION OF DEATH AND SEWER SLIDE** BEYOND THIS POINT IS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR DISNEY TWISTED WONDERLAND! LIKE ALL BOOKS! btw i am NOT explaining blot or overblot nor how it works because i am lazy. [begin infodump] As we know, within TWST one character in each book does an oops and overblots, and we get to see this buildup occur and exactly HOW they overblot.  Riddle’s overblot is caused by frustration regarding his students refusing to listen to him and follow the rules, furthered by his strict upbringing and mindset that rules are always correct. Leona’s overblot is caused by always being second place, and nothing he does ever mattering because he would never succeed, furthered by the fact that his brother was always favored just because he was born first, and Leona would never be king. Azul’s overblot is caused by his facade breaking, and him feeling as if he had returned to the powerlessness he felt as a child. Jamil’s overblot was caused by resentment, hating the person he was forced to serve, and wanting nothing more than to be his own person, seperate from Kalim. Vil overblotted because he was so jealous of Neige LeBlanche’s beauty and how he always received more heroic roles, and eventually his envy consumed him after a failed attempt to poison Neige. Of course, all of the OB victims had their own stories, their own reasons for overblotting. But at the end of the day, most of their issues could be fixed with a conversation. If they had opened up and not bottled their emotions, if they had rested a little bit, all would be alright. And I say most because Jamil’s doesn’t follow these, and I feel his is the second most justified. But there’s one person I’ve failed to mention, aside from Malleus whose book isn’t out yet. Idia Shroud. How did he overblot?  Idia’s overblot should not have even been possible. His family is cursed to burn blot as fast as they can generate it, resulting in them never being able to overblot. This kept them to the underground, forced to watch over the phantoms who have consumed overblotted mages. Where they were surrounded by blot, to prevent the curse from eating away at their magic. It leaves you perplexed, to say the least. How did he even end up in such a situation? Well, we see it after his overblot has subsided, in the flashback sequence. When he was young, Ortho was alive. Real, his actual little brother and not a robot. Ortho innocently suggested going on an adventure like heroes do before Idia grew up and inherited his parents’ lab. They wandered through S.T.Y.X., and Idia hacked into its security system in order to gain access to a vehicle.  It was just an innocent adventure. If only Idia knew which security system was which, then Tartarus wouldn’t have opened. If only Idia was a little stronger, he could’ve protected his brother, he could’ve prevented his death. If only he didn’t admire heroes so much, then Ortho would still be here. If only it were Idia and not Ortho. Then, Idia got an idea.  If he couldn’t have Ortho back, he’d just remake him.  And so he did, creating the Ortho we know today. It was a way to fill the hole his brother, his only friend, had left. A way to cope. People shunned him for recreating his brother as a robot, calling it taboo. But now, Ortho was stronger than those phantoms, with or without a soul. He wouldn’t be destroyed so easily. Idia has dealt with a huge loss in his life, one that he witnessed, his brother being killed and dragged to the underworld with the other phantoms. It wasn’t something that he could deal with at such a young age, and I can assume his parents didn’t take it well either. So, he jumped into escapism to help cope. He recreated his brother, he locked himself in his room and ignored the world, he turned to video games and the internet and technology. So, he never fully grieved. And when the overblot victims (or problematic children) were taken to S.T.Y.X. to study as they eventually would be, considering the concerning amount of overblots in one place, something-- or someone-- hacked into the lab’s technology. Only the Shrouds could get into them, and Idia and his parents couldn’t have been doing it. The only answer was Ortho.  Idia rushed down to the bottom of Tartarus, where the gate to the underworld was, and opened the gate. He jumped in, risking his life for the opportunity to see his brother just one more time. He knew what would happen. Eight years in the underworld turned his brother into a phantom, much bigger than any other. As soon as he came in contact with Ortho, he would overblot. He knew this, and he didn’t care. He let it happen.  And that is how he overblotted. Idia’s overblot was a s-icide mission. He knew jumping into the underworld was an act that would likely kill him, but he was blinded by a grief that had lasted eight long years, and he didn’t quite care. Through his entire overblot, he seems weirdly excited. Happy. As if the overblot was exhilarating, as if it brought him a thrill he had longed for. But above all, he wanted to be with his brother, and he wanted to leave this rotten world that had brought him nothing but pain.  And the only thing that could change his mind, that could make him believe he had a reason to stay, a purpose in this world, was Ortho himself. After the overblot victims, Rook, Epel, and Yuu killed Phantom Ortho, ending Idia’s overblot and sending him and Grim falling into the underworld, we see a conversation between Idia and Ortho. This conversation is really where we get the concept of the entire book set in stone, where it’s finalized that Idia overblotted on purpose out of grief, and Ortho tells him that he need not wish for death or continue grieving. That he can continue his life, that he needs to keep fighting even if it may be tiring. And then he’s gone.  His overblot was a horrible, terrifying mix of grief and love for his little brother. It wasn’t something he could shake off or just talk about.  Book 6 is one of the most emotional books out of the entire game due to its nature. Grief is something everyone experiences at some point in their lives, and so it is easily to relate to Idia’s thought process and understand why he is the way he is and why he does the things he did in book 6. Not to mention, Yana Toboso’s writing of his and Ortho’s characters are wonderfully done and the amount of emotion captured in Idia and Ortho’s voices through all stages of this book add to it so, so much.  [end infodump]

[mvalentine]

so im just sitting in jfk thinking thoughts and ignoring cam and catching up on our trr2 replay and my mind is wandering to the land of wasted potential… like an Olivia spin off backstory whatever because the TENSION in bk2 where she’s like ‘Hes marrying her and in love with you etc etc’ and she runs off hurts my heart 💔 if we got to choose how the story played out in a true choose ur own adventure doo you think liam/adam x Olivia could be a thing? Do you think they ever were???

And in that camping scene pls give me ur hc on Audrey x Drake bc my girl Anya still hasn’t kissed the bloke by then and is she horny on main 🥲😅

LMAOO as you should good to know you have your priorities in check <333 but nah fr dom i hope you’re feeling alot better now!!

also omg YES both me & audrey in the camp of feel bad for her because you can tell that liam is the only person she’s ever loved & omg she’s loved him for AGES crown or no crown it’s always been liam for her. & im actually in the camp of people who believe that yeah, olivia x the prince could be a real thing!! i really like their fire & ice dynamic, & i would totally live for an au where olivia moves on post engagement fail but was liam’s biggest support system post his heartbreak but then liam starts seeing her in a different light & starts get jealous and shit & then is like wait why am i jealous oh no….. oh wait…… it can’t be…… i want HER to be pined after i want the one who’s pined their whole life to be the one who’s pined for (a la loml pen <333) but yk at the end of the day im maddie & olivia ride or die. but tell me your thoughts!!!! i need to know 💗💗💗

also AHHHHH the camping scene another one of my fav scenes honestly the writers were truly feeding us drake romancers in book2 <333 but also BESTIE anya has more self restraint than me or audrey because goddamn. no but like the way he takes it so seriously & is giving out orders is so adorable to her like is this man fr. and that scene where she goes in the tent she’s kinda like wtf am i doing the prince im supposed to marry is literally right next to us have i lost my mind?!? & then he’s all like wtf are you doing here & this bitch is just like i need body heat <333 and he’s just like shit oh yeah true (like WHAT. i can’t tell if the choices drake knows that the mc is being fr or nah. kinda like the vibe of drake taking camping & the mc’s well-being so seriously that he’s just like yup! okay valid!) —- but anyways the scene where the mc is like you take it so seriously you were barking out orders & then drake is like wait did i ruin it :( with his sad face AHHHH i swear audrey wanted to kiss that adorable little pout from his face she’s like nah it was cute & he’s like cute? and she’s like yeah 🥰 & then he’s all like what else can i do to make your experience more memorable miss huntzberger like shut UP they’re such dorks!! but also i SWEAR mr. walker was down to fornicate (the true meaning of dtf btw!!) in those woods like if fuckin maxwell ugh i really dislike him more & more each play hadn’t interrupted i swear they would have fucked like this man was really like yeah next time we’re coming to the woods alone im gonna go down on you all night you can be as loud as you want baby. but yeah the whole time anya was just thinking of how much she wants this simple life with him how easy & right it feels how right he feels ugh she’s so in love it’s actually sickening to witness.

[rinstars]

「 CRY FOR ME 」 ♡ ACT XI : AFTERGLOW

PAIRING : Suna Rintarō x Reader.

GENRE : Angst.

TAGS/WARNINGS : NSFW. Fake Dating. Unrequited Love. Profanity. Enemies (not really) to Lovers. Friends with Benefits. Not very canon compliant.

SYNOPSIS : You have been in love with your best friend Sakusa Kiyoomi for as long as you can remember. The problem? He is in love with somebody else. And for you to snag even the tiniest bit of his affections, it seems like you would willingly go through drastic measures.. Even if it means teaming up with his lifelong rival, Suna Rintarō

PLEASE LOOK AT THIS NOTE PLEASEEE PLEASE PLEASE IM NOT EVEN KIDDING PLEASE : This is NOT the last act yet!!!! There's still ACT XII then the epilogue. Calm down u guys. Sorry this took me like 10 billion years to finish but in return I gave this act my all. Dont give me the "___ is OOC" BS please. I believe hes someone who wouldn't say some of the things I put in this act but definitely would want to if hes given another medium. Overall, I think hes a very emotional person with ppl he loves. I am really proud of this act u guys. Hope u enjoy it hehhe

SONGS TO LISTEN TO : Cry by Cigarettes After Sex, All I Ask by Adele, Off My Face by Justin Bieber, Afterglow by Taylor Swift

TAGLIST : CLOSED

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There wasn't much to say as you sit in the passenger seat of your best friend's car as he drives you home from the trip that cost both of your hearts.

You fell in love with your best friend, went on a fake date to make him jealous, fell in love with that fake boyfriend, and got your heart broken.

Spectacular.

Just simply the best trip anyone could ever ask for.

Sakusa glances at you every five seconds and you feel bad that he even does. If anything, what he and Yura had was far more genuine than what yours and Rin's could ever be and yet, he's still the one looking after you like he wasn't six feet below the ground from the crushing revelations his girlfriend had for him when she said she has always liked Rintarō.

If someone so beautiful, amazing, and perfect like Sakusa could get their hearts broken—betrayed and left in the air by the person they treasured, you imagine that leaves someone like you with a heart in the gutter. And it's unfair. While no one ever said the lane to falling in love was easy and you were once a determined witness when you fell the first time, it didn't prepare you for the second time around. It didn't even serve to ease the pain—that maybe this heartache was just like the last one and the next one would be better. Rather, this was a painful reminder you couldn't be allowed to be happy. Not then, not now. It was an unfair realization.

More so, you weren’t a Sakusa Kiyoomi. You didn’t have men lined up in the doors to the locker room because everybody wanted a glimpse of the top Olympic athlete, even if it was in your sweaty, sticky form. You didn’t have that money. You were always a step too far from the kind of life Sakusa lived. No bachelor would ask for you because the only ones lining up your doorstep were those who smell of nicotine and party drugs. The ones who are too drunk to remember your face as much as you're drunk to even remember what you'd allowed to happen the night before.

You think this must be the one and only time Sakusa would ever get his heart broken. He's far too perfect. Too many options he could choose from. You? You were lucky to snag his attention as a best friend and get a little of Rintarō even if it was just for the shortest time meant to get the attention of another.

"Are you alright?" He rubs the pads of his thumb against your knuckles, soft and gentle voice you barely hear from Omi whispering against the confinement of his car.

He knows this question is futile. Nothing but words to fill the silence neither of you knows how to fix. He says it over and over for the sake of making both of you believe it was alright—that your heads didn't repeat it to you over and over about the fact that both of your lovers are left in the cabin doing God knows what.

"Yes, Omi. All great," you tell him monotonously and almost feel bad. He didn't deserve to be on the bitter end of your heartbreak but you also knew if anyone would understand your shift in mood, it would be him.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Everything fine?

Sure, YN.

It's nothing but a cycle. A repeated throw of words that mean and weigh nothing to either of you. It's nothing but a bandaid to the wounds that wouldn't stop seeping through the thin gauze yet both of you are foolish enough to believe that it takes your mind off the pain—even if just for a minute, a second.

It was almost pathetic—your state, at least. Everything Omi is going through, you can understand clearly. There wasn't anything comical or even pitiful about his state. What he feels isn't pathetic. That was the love of his life. The only one he ever imagined, probably. You don't remember anyone who came before Yura and when they got together, the click and chemistry were instantaneous. It wasn’t easy to swerve away from conversations, of both friends and family, about how they'd probably end up together—married and with a small family. Two children of Japan's biggest tycoons, the heirs they'd make just as beautiful as them. It was difficult to even force yourself to believe they weren't made for each other then no matter how much it gnawed at your heart.

The turn of things right now for him is anything but similar to your comically pathetic and pitiful state.

Yours is a different story. You could laugh at yourself if you were nothing but a mere bystander watching everything unfold. You hurt and you blame yourself for it because that's the reality, isn't it? A girl who couldn't get a snag of her best friend's affections gets in a fake relationship with his nemesis to steal off his girl and get her best friend to herself gets what she wants but only when she already couldn't give a damn about having her best friend because she's already fallen for her fake boyfriend.

What did they say about getting a taste of your own medicine again?

Yura turned the tables on you. She played her cards so effortlessly and easily until you didn’t realize she was the one breaking all of you up. You didn’t think it was possible, not for a second, that she would do something so out of character—at least from how you knew her. But then, the whole plan about breaking Omi and Yura up wasn't your character either. Not to mention, you never really knew who Yura really was. She was just.. that girl to you. Beautiful, smart, rich, everybody's dream girl, prom queen, homecoming sweetheart—everything you could think of. The fact that Omi liked her was another testament that she might be a good person.

The scene just a few hours before you strapped yourself inside Sakusa's car is still very clear. Very vibrant. Very telling of the truths you wanted to tune out so bad. It was all the things you feared.

What more, she isn't the person you thought she was at all. And still, you didn't feel like you could blame her for it. She's very harsh with her truths. Incredible straightforwardness and confident jabs at your already breaking heart as she wraps a finger around your wrist to turn you around on the way to the front. Being with Yura had always put an undeniable stain on your pride. She always felt like someone out of reach—and maybe she really was. She had everyone you've ever wanted after all.

Sitting in the backyard for a moment to calm down seemed like a good idea when you stormed outside the room you shared with your fake ex-boyfriend. However, it was easy to realize that it wasn't. Not when a thin frame is walking gracefully towards you so noticeably. You knew she was there for you the moment you caught sight of her hair—to apologize or say something else, you weren’t sure. But you did know then that you didn’t want to have the conversation she'd asked you to have. You're too out of it, too shaky and too miserable for anything that has to do with her and Suna.

However, it was something inevitable.

You couldn’t escape her. Not with the way she said the first few words to attempt a conversation—no, a confrontation.

"I'm not sorry," her soft voice reached you, firm but gentle the way you've always remembered it to be.

The way she said it immediately pulls the break on your feet, swallowing thickly as you feel her grip on your wrist loosen. She knows you wouldn't run away. Not with what she just said. Not when you both know this is the only time this conversation is gonna happen and that if you don't push through it now, you'll never settle the tension that hangs in the air around you.

"It's what Suna would have wanted. We both know that," there was a tone in her voice you couldn't pinpoint. Pity?

"Excuse me?" you spin around, eyes meeting her hazel ones as she stares back at you hardly. There's a gleam in her eyes. You weren't sure when it stopped looking innocent for you but now all you can see is the hostility behind them.

"I'm sorry I hurt Kiyoomi, YN. I promise. I loved him, we had a great relationship," her eyes flash with remembrance. "But I'm not sorry I chose Rin or that I kissed him. I loved him more, I've always known that but I thought I was over him until you two were together."

You look back at her with indifference, inwardly wincing at what she's saying. Where she found the courage to talk about this with you, you're not sure. Why would someone run after someone's ex-girlfriend to tell her something like this? Sure, you and him were a fraud. But everyone believed it was real. Hell, you believed it was real for a good while. It was a genuine relationship to everyone who looked, everyone who watched. You liked to believe you put on an amazing act as someone with real beating feelings and if there was one thing you didn't need right now, it's to hear her say these things—or even talk about Rintarō.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you’re his ex and other than Kiyoomi you’re the only one stuck in between this whole mess we made. YN, I hope you know—"

"No, Yura. Why are you talking like that?" The infuriating itch catches up to you, running your fingers on your hair to push it back. This whole mess they made? She's speaking like this was always meant to happen and you and Omi were nothing but chess pieces mistakenly pushed to the side once everything is set for her win. However, you knew there's no way Suna was involved in how it all turned out because the whole purpose of both of you getting together was to snatch her back. So why was Yura acting like she expected this?

"Like what?" she asks almost innocently. The look on her face makes your fingers twitch. This was the woman who hurt your best friend, kissed, and took your boyfriend from you. You could only spend another second in her presence without snapping.

"Like I needed to hear this from you," you frowned back at her, brows drawing together. "What happens with his and my relationship are ours. Don't get in between it. You don't have to explain anything to me, Yura." you tell her slowly, internally wishing the conversation ends right there.

You notice the way she slightly steps back in mild shock as a response before regaining her composure and releasing a breathy laugh—almost as if in disbelief.

In return, you couldn't help but stand perplexed. When has Yura started being like this? She was always the last person you would've expected this from—at least from what you knew of her. It's a revelation seeing her even speak in this tone—albeit it's still a lot softer and kinder than you'd probably hear from anyone else in a confrontation.

Still, was it really that far-fetched? Or were you just blinded by whatever image Yura had painted in your head? It shouldn't be a shock at this point. She kissed Suna behind both your and Sakusa's backs. If you thought about it months ago, you never would've even guessed it was a possibility but now you're in the very face of the aftermath of that very kiss. Really, you could only know so much about a person. To begin with, you didn’t really know Yura very well at all.

You wanted to understand where this is coming from. Why her breaths get shallow by the second, why her lips were red and trembling as she takes you in. However, none of it makes sense to you. Trying to believe she was just another victim in this vicious turn of events is hard to swallow as you keep remembering the fact that it all began with her. Besides, what else could she ask for? Is there anything else you had that she didn't?

You recognized flaws. You recognized how easy it is to be swayed by emotions. Perhaps, if you weren’t on the painful end of this ordeal, you would've understood Yura wholeheartedly. But now, all you feel is disdain at her audacity to act like this in front of you. You couldn't find the humanity in you to feel bad about any possible thing that must have caused her to act this way—if there was any to begin with.

"I'm saying this because I don't need you getting in the way of us again, YN. I really can't take another time," she throws her head back lightly, snapping you back to the reality that this is really happening and not just an evil figment of your imagination finding someone else to blame and direct the hurt on. Fingers clenching on her sides like she's holding back from something—the restraint in her doing its very best at work, you take in the slight weight that's added on her voice.

"I don't believe I got in the way of anything at all, Yura," you shake your head intently. Determined to stop holding yourself back as you had nothing and no one else left to protect.

"You always get in the way of the things I want!" she cries in frustration, eyes blazing as it shines over. "Kiyoomi, Rin, everything. Everyone wants you. And I've had to always be the second choice."

A sensation bubbles in your chest. Heavy and thick as it slowly develops into a laugh that soon starts stealing your air and turning into a choke. The sting in your eyes as the wind blows into your face registers before you realize the fact that you're starting to cry. Biting your lip as hard as you can, you swallow the lump that painfully throbs in your throat.

"The things you want?" you manage to cough out, an exhale escaping your lips slowly as you feel the tingles spread on your arms. And it wasn't that you needed the answer, but it seems like Yura was determined to enlighten you anyways—every word out her lips making your head light.

"Do you know how hard I had to fight to even get Kiyoomi's attention? That party we were in, God, that stupid party," she laughs humorlessly. "It would've been damn near impossible if I didn't get you out of the way!" Her arms flail around her, frustration clear as she recalls the events in her head. When her head snaps back forward to look at you, she's all red-rimmed eyes—whether that's of anger or sadness, you couldn’t tell. Probably a mix of both.

And you knew exactly what she was talking about. That party. The first one you attended in Sakusa's world because he never bothered to before but needed the sponsorship for his Olympics then, leaving him no choice—and that's why he'd brought you with him. As if to ease the discomfort of being among obnoxious rich people with more sense than money. It was at that party he first met Yura. And it was a little after that that they'd begun dating. You didn’t even know how they'd met.

After all, how could you? How would it be possible when you were locked alone in a fancy granite balcony in the presence of cold winter air without your coat because someone thought it'd be funny to keep you out?

It wasn’t a traumatic event, far from it. Even if Sakusa found you an hour later breaking into sneezes every five seconds, you tried not to take the whole thing to heart. Although it was true that it steered you away from parties with people like them ever again, it wasn't like it left a deep scar in your heart. It was just what it is. An unfortunate thing but you didn’t allow yourself to keep dwelling on it. If anything, you believed it wasn't even intentional. Maybe they didn't see you were out and thought the air blowing in the room was too cold and they needed to close the doors to keep it warm. Maybe it was just an accident.

But now it all feels like it's clicked into place. Like everything suddenly made sense and you're seeing the full picture. By then, you couldn't help the helpless pang of pity that hits you. How she could think and act like this after taking everyone you've ever wanted was something you didn’t understand. And you only felt pity for yourself—even more than you did before. You didn’t want to wallow in self-despair but it seems to be the only thing following you.

Shaking your head, you meet Yura's eyes—blinking faster and faster as the wetness threatens to spill over your stinging eyes. "You got both of the men I've ever loved, Yura. I didn't get either of them."

Almost as if your words did something to her, Yura's eyes cleared up—the fog in them dissipating as she looked at you in understanding. "If you know that, then stop getting in between. Let us be, YN. Let's end whatever cycle we've put ourselves in."

There's an eerie sense of calm in the way she said that. You don't like it. "I don't know what you're talking about but if it helps, Rin didn't talk about you for a second when we were together. So do yourself a favor, Yura. Stop telling me these things because they don't matter to me."

The lie is bitter in your mouth because it does matter to you. What she thought of you then, what she thinks of you now. But at the same time, the truth is also sweet. The fact that Yura was never a part of your conversations with Rin save for the first few days you both began seeing each other makes you feel slightly better.

It wasn’t what Yura wanted to hear. Obviously so as she bites back, "And he hesitated to pull away when we kissed but you knew that, right? Because you saw us. You saw me kiss him and how he couldn't pull me away if not for your presence and his guilt nagging at him. So if it helps, YN, even if just for a little, remember that the next time you start thinking your place in his life ever compared to my place in his."

Now that puts you to a stop. Like your whole world crashes and the remnants of your already breaking heart start turning to ashes. The last of all hope is lost on you as reality rubs itself on your very face.

She's right. You saw it all clearly. But to hear her confirm it, the truth of Rin's hesitations and how he probably longed for her as much as she longed for him—you felt like you couldn't breathe. And it's probably a weak move, the one you did next, but you couldn't care less as you storm out of the backyard, going around the house to the front as you catch your breath—tears spilling all over your cheeks the moment Yura is out of your line of vision.

It was when you're rounding the house you start feeling like everything is suddenly moving in slow motion. It had been too late for you to hide your tear-stricken face on the figure you caught in the corner of your eyes and by the time you could react, the sound of the front door throwing open has already reached your ears and Rintarō is running through it.

You couldn't even stand to see his face right now. His angled jaw and straight nose are nothing but a reminder of what you and him weren't anymore. Of course. Of course, he didn't feel that way towards you. There was no way he would long for you when he'd been longing for someone else for the longer part of his life. There was no way his heart would hurt at the mere thought of what you had coming to an end. How could he when he didn't love you? When whatever he probably felt for you then was all gone the moment he's in front of Yura again?

But still, he's calling your name. Shouting it like he didn't let you go just an hour ago from the bedroom you're both supposed to share. His shoes make a loud sound as he puts his weight into running—the pavement beating as he tries to catch up with you. Near the cabin, just a little around the corner to the right, you see Omi opening his car door—catching your eye before signaling a nod that says he'll be waiting for you inside.

Far out of the house, you give up on trying to hide your emotions any further. Taking a deep breath, you stop from your running just as a familiar set of slender and calloused fingers wraps itself around your wrist. As soon as it registers, however, you're pulling his arm away from him—turning around immediately to try and put the best version of a glare you can put out right now.

"Where are you going?" he breathes out just as the warmth of your fingers slips from his cold ones.

He sounded frantic. Like this is the first time he's absorbing the real meaning of things now that it's ended this way. His voice is pitched slightly higher while the fingers that were once around your skin rake across his deep brown hair—all messy, much messy, than the last time you've seen him. Your eyes look over his shoulder, his reflexes acting faster than his mind as he takes a step to block your vision—lightly shaking his head pleadingly.

"I thought we talked about this," there wasn't any energy in your voice. You're exasperated, shoulders slumping as you settle to look at his foot rather than his face.

"We haven't talked about anything!" the sudden volume in his voice makes you wince. You didn’t want to think about the desperation pouring from his pores. Didn't want to spend even another minute thinking he cared about you like you wanted him to.

He's probably riddled with guilt that he's getting her and you don't have anyone. That's possibly the only reason why he's acting like this.

"I want to end this, Suna, please," you exhale and speak with as much firmness as you can, refusing to let the shivers break you even as goosebumps rise on the surface of your skin. "You don't understand. I just—please, I want to go home with Omi right now. Let's stop doing this."

With that, Rin takes a step back. Like you just smacked him and he's in the middle of recovering from a blow he didn't see coming. It was then you decide to meet his eyes, the frown in his features evident with the tight clench of his jaw. You couldn't tell if he was even still breathing, but you used that as an opportunity to escape—brushing your shoulders with his and hearing him exhale shakily in return.

The decision killed you. It felt like a knife was being twisted inside your chest and the blood was uncomfortably seeping through your clothes. There was nothing to smile about. Nothing for you to feel good at. Every step away from him felt like goodbye. Every air you breathe without the swift scent of his cologne felt like oxygen was being cut from you.

Despite all that, what you'll probably never know is the fact that it kills Suna ten times over. To see you walk away from his life for what feels like the tenth time. That the blood he feels as if it's staining his shirt is creating a puddle that threatens to drown him from his feet.

What's worse? He lets you.

◇

It was a normal day at best. Seeing as it has only been a week since you and Omi drove away from the cabin, it's a miracle you're even out of your house. You don't have it in you yet to be sociable and mingle with others—especially not when your only friends are the ones you share with him and you're almost 100% certain they definitely knew at least the gist of what happened, you have close to no one left. If it wasn't for Omi, you'd practically be alone and wallowing in your despair.

That's when you realize you don't really have anyone else that's close to you. Not even something like a hobby to take your mind off of things. Not a single sport you're good at. You're smart, you make a great amount of money from working in an Engineering company as one of the group leaders but it's hardly something you could call yourself passionate about.

Sakusa is different. He seems to be taking everything way easier than you. You don't understand if he's just putting on a front or he's just accepted it within himself that whatever he had with Yura was over. He has his cousin Komori, at least. And he has volleyball to keep himself occupied. If there was only one thing he loved more than he loved her, it was volleyball. You didn’t have anything like that.

You could've complained but you really couldn't find it in you to ask for anything else. At the very least, you weren’t groveling as much as you used to and you had Omi with you.

The only thing not normal about this day is your lunch appointment with one of Suna's closest friends—who, as time went by, happened to also become one of yours in the few moments you've been in each other's company. He'd insisted on meeting. Said he hasn't seen you since that day you left earlier than everyone else with Omi. He hadn't mentioned if Yura and Suna stayed and went home with them. If she rode in his car because she didn't bring her own seeing as she came with Omi. He didn't tell you how Suna acted since that time you told him you wanted to end it and looked like you'd struck a painful cord inside him.

That was for the best, you figure.

You weren’t trying to find out they'd slept together the last night in that cabin and spread each other's scent on either yours or Omi's sheets. But maybe seeing Osamu would bring you the closure you needed. That trip ended so abruptly for you and you regretted not having the chance to say goodbye to your friends. It's been a week now. You're ready to face the memories of that day. It helps a lot that Osamu wouldn't put you in a tough situation or press you about the topic.

"Hey," you mumble quietly with a smile which he returned, standing up from his seat to hug you sideways. He's already in his seat by the time you've arrived.

Shaking the snow from your hair, you look at the seat he's chosen and suddenly feel a rush of gratefulness that you had the glass walls to distract you from the awkwardness of how everything felt. It wasn’t Osamu making it awkward. It was you, if anything. You felt ashamed at everything that happened and dragged them into.

"Should we order?" There's a softness and edge to Osamu's voice at the same time. He's kind but confident. If being friends with Suna was anything to go by, you're pretty confident he's a lot more of a smug playboy than he plays it out to be with his close acquaintances. Not that you minded. The Osamu in the streets didn't concern you like the Osamu with his friends. At the very least, he's a lot less loud than his blond twin.

Shrugging, you meet his eyes with a quick, "Yes."

He insisted on ordering for both of you, standing up to the counter and returning with a plate of pasta and garlic bread. You didn’t fight him on doing it. He'd been the one to invite you anyways. The appetite and energy couldn't be found in you despite your wishes. It was probably dramatic but Suna played a bigger part in you than you'd care to admit. A week is hardly enough to put an end to the pain that kept you up at night.

You stab your pasta mindlessly, chewing on the garlic bread occasionally to appear like you're enjoying the meal. You didn’t know why you're even here to begin with. There's a question hanging in the air you wished he would just get over with.

Osamu eyes you toying with a ring on your finger. It wasn’t anything significant. Just an accessory that seemed to click something in Samu's mind—seeing as he suddenly decided to speak.

"His ring was a present from Yura," he began slowly, and just like that, the breath was slowly getting knocked from you. "She got it in an arcade when they were together and made him promise not to take it off. One time, years ago, Suna was drunk out of his mind and snapped when a girl tried to slip it off his fingers and play with it while sitting on his lap."

The shake of his head tells you he didn't exactly agree with the ring—or perhaps the sentiments behind it but you don't say anything. You didn’t know why you had to hear this. Everything you learned about Suna and Yura was just another nail to your coffin. At the same time, you don't stop Osamu. You didn’t want to. Their history has always been a mystery you wanted to solve but you didn’t have the courage to ask it from the man, Suna, himself and hear the love story that would send you crumbling. Now, you had nothing left to break. He'd taken that heart with him when you arrived at the cabin.

"Yura said it was a promise," he swallowed like he didn't really want to talk about Suna's business to me but felt like he had to. He probably felt bad. "A promise she'd understand him even when no one did. She was a force in his life. Only she matched his energy and Suna was afraid he wouldn't find that rush again."

"He could've found a woman crazy about him just about anywhere," you wanted to scoff but settled for an awkward laugh.

"He was young when they met. Not to mention they met when—" he hesitated but one look at your eyes and the dullness behind it had him confessing with a heavy breath. "When Sakusa cut his chances off with you. They were both young and he felt like he found a match. He said something about her being the only woman he'd ever probably crave next to you once when we were much younger. But you were off-limits since he found out whose best friend you were. So, eventually, all that drifted onto Yura."

"I don't understand why you're telling me all this, Samu," you frown at him, beating of your chest so loud, you could practically hear it. "Their love story is not my business."

"Maybe," he agrees before his gaze hardens on the drink in front of him. "After all, I knew it was a bad idea the moment I found out you were dating."

"Then why—"

"But she'd dragged him along for five years. Made him think only she could possibly match that attitude and understand the way he glared at almost every fucking thing he sees because he's never in the right mood. He doesn’t know another love than what Yura showed him, if you could even call it that, YN," he grimaces as he says that. "Then she'd gotten in a relationship with Sakusa and he felt like she betrayed him and got another woman taken from him the second time."

"I thought they hadn't been talking anymore when she and Omi got together?"

"They've always been talking, YN. She came home that week and brought the hope it was just any other week in their lives. A week that meant Suna would stop seeing his regular fucks in town because she'd left hers back overseas. That was how it's always been for them. Many guys, many girls but only each other when they were in the same town."

You couldn't say anything back at that. It sounded like he was telling you they always found a way back to each other and making a point that was the reason they're back together again—dismissive about the facts they'd just broken two innocent hearts... Okay, not that you were any innocent in this outcome but still. Watching you carefully for any reaction that would tell him to stop, Osamu felt like he was drawing his own conclusions by looking at your face alone. He could tell exactly what you were thinking because he continued immediately. Probably to make clear of what he's trying to say.

He keeps breathing heavily before continuing. Like this conversation is hard enough for him to bring up. Like he isn't the one who had this idea in the first place. "He'd sworn he didn't like you that way anymore and he's forgotten about you all those five years. Then suddenly, you're there and you aren't off-limits anymore—the one other woman he's wanted as badly as he wanted Yura."

Looking away, you find the strength in you to mumble, "He very obviously doesn't want me that much if we're having this conversation."

Osamu just looks at you for a long time. You weren't sure if seconds or minutes passed but he just stares at you—gauging if he's making the right decision and you'd get what he was trying to say.

"YN just—" he leans back in his chair like you and Suna both exasperated him but he's too good in the heart to let it slide when he could've done something about it. "I'm saying, he definitely feels for you. He's goddamn stupid but he's also confused because that.. woman, has engraved herself so deep in him and whether he wants to admit it or not, he's clinging on to that younger years they both shared even when he didn't feel that way for her anymore."

Your heart hurts listening to him say all this. The truths you'd probably never pull out of Suna yourself. What was Osamu thinking? Of course, you understand what he's trying to say. Better than anyone, you're probably Suna's greatest witness to the desperation he had for Yura. It made your chest ache to think about what he'd gone through—the image of a boy who'd wanted someone to be his match so bad he'd settled for someone who was so good at making him think he wouldn't be able to find another. Maybe that's why her ring was so significant to him even during the time you were together. He's been made to think if the plan failed then he wouldn't have anyone left and he wanted the love he thought she gave him.

You resented him. Resented how you had to hurt because you didn't realize the gravity of what he felt for her. You disliked the way you hurt, the way it felt like no matter the signs he showed that he wanted you he still felt so weak when faced with her. And you hated him. Hated him for letting himself get played as much as he'd let Yura play him. Hated him that he's been wanting her for five years when you probably would've loved him far greater than he's ever experienced if he'd only still felt for you then.

"Samu," you begin, eyes stinging as you suddenly feel sad again all over. "I don't know what to do."

He nods at you in understanding, fingers drifting to rest on top of yours in the table before smiling gently. "I'm not asking you to do anything. Suna just pisses me off with how he works things out and I know he'd never tell you about it. If it helps at all, figured I'd be the one to tell ya."

Just as you are about to thank him, he follows up with more words. Each one of them knocking you over, "I've never seen him want to be over her so badly, YN. Until you. He cares a lot about you, more than he'll ever care for Yura. So do what you have to do. It doesn't have to include forgiving him for whatever he did."

◇

 The snow was still as thick and heavy as it had been the day you left him. The coldness of the air still stings your cheeks and your fingers are cold like they've been made from ice. With that, your heart still felt as heavy as it was two weeks ago. You still feel like you could go crazy just thinking about him. There's an overwhelming surge of pain and love when one of his favorite songs would play in the playlist you didn’t even realize has been filled with all of the songs he always used to hum.

These days, it feels like all you ever do is hate. Hate the way Yura got to him first, hate the way you love him even though you're hurting, hate the fact that sometimes love is not enough and you feel like your heart will never be back to what it once was. You loathe how it's so hard to make yourself believe he would never long for her again. Hell, it's even hard to believe he truly liked you that way.

Maybe it was stubborn. Especially when someone's been telling you he cares. But you didn’t think you could handle someone just caring. There's an expectation you wanted him to meet. And it was selfish. So selfish but you couldn't bring yourself to even think you deserve any less after everything. Besides, even if you didn't find out what you did about Yura and she was just another girl in his life, the heavy feeling of once again not being enough and going through what you did with both Omi and Suna scares you.

Deep inside, there's an annoying itch that tells you nothing will be different regardless of what you know. Nothing will miraculously change just because a friend of his told him to get over Yura like she didn't once mean the whole world to him. You felt like you should understand. But it was hard when you're blinded by all the wrong things there is to find and say about Yura. Moreover, nothing's changed at all for the past week because you're too hurt to talk to him. You've all but given him the idea that you even want to talk to him anymore. Still, there's hope bubbling inside you. Maybe he'll break in first. Just this time, you wish he could just brush off your wishes and talk to you first.

Whatever that talk would lead to doesn't even matter. You just wanted to talk to him. Hear his voice. Pretend like everything is fine with the first hello on the other side of the line.

Staring at your phone felt like an eternity. His name blinks at you. With a black heart on the side because he insisted it looks way better than the other colors. The thought almost made you smile. He was so childish with little things sometimes and he never failed to make you laugh.

The contact name taunts you. Your finger has hovered over the green call button more times than you have probably blinked in your life. He's just directly across your house. What's making this so hard? You probably should have just walked straight up his walkway and act like everything is fine and you just wanted to talk. His birthday was tomorrow. Maybe that excuse would be good enough.

Another sigh and a failed attempt at finally pressing a button, a notification makes you jump from your seat—eyes stinging as you look at the same black heart you've been begging the heavens to talk to you, finally being the first one to give in.

Rin 🖤

I miss you so fucking much I can't spend another second not sending this and letting you know. You know I do.

Your eyes immediately water at his words. He's never texted you like this. More times than you can count, he's only ever made you laugh with his messages. Now, he sounds and feels so vulnerable that you allow your heart to hurt for him even just a little. He didn't deserve your antagonism.

To: Rin 🖤

Happy birthday, Rin.

Rin 🖤

Not for another day, baby. Wait a bit more and tell me in person tomorrow.

You don't attempt making a comment or correcting him on that. Not when you don't even realize the way your tears have started falling until there was a small drop of wetness on your thighs. Falling on your couch, you clutch the phone to your chest. Glancing outside of your window to his, you can't help the clench in your heart when you don't notice his car in the driveway—lights turned off and not a sound playing from his playlist. Maybe meeting him tonight is wishful thinking after all. Maybe he's with her. He probably missed you but it wasn't enough.

Perhaps it was these lack of expectations. The building anxiety and doubt that threatens to suffocate you. Perhaps you've felt that way because, with the smile that graced your face when you saw his obnoxiously expensive black car light up his driveway, all the negatives would have been worth it.

Like he senses you watching him from your window, his eyes meet your just a second before he's turning off the ignition. It was then the both of you felt an almost painful invisible pull. He looks at you like he's asking for permission. Like there are so many things he wants to say but only if you let him. The choking is heard in the air before you even register you're sobbing—eyes turning heavy and it falls down your cheeks with a slight nod of your head.

And just like that, like he saw the nod before you even gave it, he's opening your front door—wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his nose on your neck. He lets out a sigh of relief the moment your warmth envelops him and he swears he could feel his heart break a thousand times over. He breathes you in like he'll never breathe again. The wet kiss he pressed on your bare shoulders lingered until his fingers were drumming on your skin.

"Hit every fucking red light the moment you replied to me," he mumbles almost incoherently, palms sliding to your backside before he's pressing you on the wall. There's no way he could get enough of you, he thinks. You fit so perfectly in him. Every gap he didn't know he had, you somehow magically fill in. He could touch you for the rest of his life and not once complain about it.

"I was waiting for you," you groan breathlessly, stomach tightening as he trails open-mouthed kisses from your neck to your mouth. You could feel his cock pressing on your thigh and suddenly the need could overflow in the room.

You were waiting for him. Literally and figuratively. Like this is the one and only time you have in the world to be with him, you've waited because you knew he'd come. You waited to feel his lips again every night. Waited to feel him around you, touching you like he wouldn't have anyone else in the world but you. You're still waiting for him.

You hope he'd wait for you too.

After this kiss. After the sex. After tonight.

That hardly matters in your head now, however. He's here. Two weeks after everything, he's right in front of you. Kissing you so hard like it makes up of everything he could only wish he could put into words. He squeezes his eyes like he's in pain every time you make a sound of pleasure. There's such a grand pain in his heart he's not sure he'll be able to overcome right now. He pushes all the thoughts out of his head, because at least, for now, he has you. Tomorrow can wait.

"I'm sorry, baby," his words grow muffled as he whispers on your lips, brushing his own with yours in a silent ask for permission. Connecting your lips with his, you both let yourself go for the night. "So fucking sorry for everything."

You crave him. Very much so that your heart wants to tear itself apart inside. You're both way past pretending you could last another second without being wrapped in each other. You could hardly breathe if his scent wasn't filling your senses.

Grabbing your thighs from the back, he lifts you up—legs wrapping around his waist as he wraps his hands on the side of your neck, angling it slightly to him and brushing his thumbs on your skin. Like a magnet connecting both of you together, he gently presses his lips—the saltiness of your tears staining his tongue until he starts feeling bitter again.

Disconnecting from the kiss, you look into his eyes. The lump in your throat so strong, you couldn't just swallow it no matter how hard you try. "You're my everything, Rin. It hurts so bad,"

"I know baby," he shakes his head, forehead pressing to yours. The quick rise and fall of his chest move in rhythm to your own. His heart beating as it is breaking with yours. He knows where this is leading. Can hear it in your voice. See it in your eyes. But tonight there's just one thing he wants, "Please. Just for tonight, baby. Pretend one more time for me. Like you'd still take me and that whole fucking trip never happened. Baby, please."

Desperation drips from his voice—raw and frantic. Like if he didn't say it then, he'd lose you forever. Suna thinks it was funny how much he could want you this second but be willing to let you slip from him so easily—if your happiness would depend on it. You're shaking beneath him. Eyes never leaving his because you're just as afraid he'll disappear.

Nodding against him, you feel the sobs wrack your whole body. Squeezing the words out of you, you tell him in response. "Please."

Please if just for another night.

Please touch.

Please love.

Please make you cry for him because it makes you feel the way your heart beats for him. Makes you feel alive. Makes you feel like you're experiencing the love you'll probably never experience again.

Suna pushes you away from the wall, lips never leaving yours as he carries you to your bedroom. You deserve better than a wall fuck. You deserve better than being pressed against a cold, hard, drywall. Smoothing the hair from your face, he takes you up the stairs with one arm wrapped around your waist. The tears won't stop falling for you. The more you look at him, the more you break.

"You're so beautiful," he breaks your trance with a whisper, gentle and slow on your lips. He wants to call you his. Wants to tell you he's yours but he didn't.

He's lost the privilege to call you that a long time ago.

Laying you down the bed, he's gentle as he grabs the sides of your underwear—slipping it down your legs but not breaking the contact with your eyes. His chest is caving in. You're the most beautiful, most amazing woman he'd probably ever be with. He didn't have to look down and away from your eyes to be able to tell you're perfect. His own throat tightens up.

"Are you sure you want this?" He dips a head on your neck, kissing your ears softly as he asks you.

"More than anything in the world, Rin," a sad smile grazes your lips, fingers threading through his already longer hair.

Pulling the rest of your clothes off with his, he slowly lowers himself down, lips on your jaw as he slowly pushes himself in. His hips stutter, the feeling of your warmth against him making him lose his mind. The way you wrap around him. The taste of your skin.

Then, suddenly, it feels like he's forced into the realization that tonight would be the last. He didn't know why. You didn’t need to tell him but everything about tonight feels that way. He tries to savor every single inch of yourself you're willing to give him.

You can't stop the tears falling from your cheeks. It was both pathetic and embarrassing you're crying at such a moment. But you leave tomorrow. Five thousand miles away from him seems and feels like you'll ever get a taste of this again any time soon.

This isn't the goodbye you shared that day two weeks ago. This isn't anything like the screams or the begging. Nothing like the doubt and the hurt that he didn't love you like you loved him. There isn't a trace of selfishness.

This is what goodbye really is.

This is saying goodbye to your one true love—for how long, you didn’t know. This is accepting that sometimes love is not enough to keep two broken souls together. This is a goodbye that would stick. A goodbye that wouldn't allow texting until the other shows up in front of the other's door because it was physically impossible.

Sometimes it was hard to remember who you were before someone special walked into your life.

With Rin, it was the complete opposite.

It's hard to forget what life was before him because all it ever was then is a monochrome of all the things you wanted and couldn't have. All the things you wished for in hopes it might finally make you happy. You remember every moment of your bleak life eight months ago. The routine you fell into, the expectations that broke you. It wasn’t at all hard to forget.

Because you remember exactly when all of that changed. When you looked forward to text messages that would come in at two in the morning because you knew you'd get to see him skate. He'd laugh at you when you ran and almost felt like fainting trying to catch up but that hardly mattered because he'd take you out to drinks and ice cream after. Pulling you in his lap when he played his games suddenly become your most comfortable position and location.

He wasn't there then he was suddenly everywhere.

And God, did you love him. You loved him so much and the feeling of him stretching you out. Your heart beats so loud for him that every inch of you welcomes him. The pain you feel for him—for the kind of life he lived with Yura and the things he put you through, could only be so strong because you adored him.

With his last thrust, orgasm spilling inside you as your thighs shake and you come apart with him, you reach for his neck—wrapping two arms around him as you cry out in pleasure. He rocks against you a few more times, riding his high with your name falling from his lips with a groan.

When you both regain your breath, he doesn't collapse on top of you immediately. Holding your eyes, he props himself up with his elbows—gaze scanning your whole face like he's trying to memorize what he would miss. Then, with a soft voice, a shaky smile, and so much emotion to break him apart, you tell him,

"I love you, Rin," you don't hesitate. And it wasn't a declaration like the last time. You simply wanted him to know. And you'd let him know as much as you could tonight.

This was the love he was supposed to have gotten then. You wanted him to know someone loves him as much as you do that the love he believed in then would pale and fade from him. You wanted him to understand that despite everything, you love him and it was the kind of love he should believe in.

Not even this goodbye would erase it.

"I love you so much," you repeat because he'll probably not hear it from you for a while and you didn't want him to forget.

You wished you could have stayed. That you were strong enough to believe in both of you. That you could forget everything that happened along with the pain that came with it. But you weren’t. You didn’t want to lose sight of what you had. What you could possibly have. But tonight is where you say goodbye. This is where you draw the line.

You'd be losing each other, for now, but he wouldn't be losing you.

And if a month from now, a week from now, the love is still not lost on you, then maybe you'd find yourself again. In the afterglow, when everything after the storm has calmed. When you could love as much as you want to because the harsh burn of the sun has settled.

He smiles at you sadly in return, reaching out to brush your cheeks and kissing you until you fall asleep. He held you and you could feel the beat of the heart you know longs and beats for you. You could feel the warmth in him. There's the light way his hair tickles your shoulders. The steady rhythm of his breath lulls you to sleep. He rubbed your spine as you lay on his chest, the calloused touch of his fingers as a result of years of volleyball another addition to the million things you'll miss from him.

Morning came faster than you could have prepared yourself for. The light coming from the blinds makes you squint. Your inner thighs hurt, your breasts sore. A reminder of the events that transpired the night before. You feel sticky and hot all over but there's a noticeable kind of coldness on the other side of your bed.

You didn’t set any expectations. You knew he'd be gone by the time you opened your eyes. You probably even felt it when he slipped away from you because you could clearly remember stirring from your sleep. Still, looking at the side he was supposed to occupy, your heart drops to your stomach. He hadn't even stayed to say goodbye. He asked you to wait another day for his birthday greeting. Now, you couldn’t do it with a final kiss on the lips you'll be missing for months to come anymore.

It's like there was hardly any evidence he was even there last night.

If not for the pieces of paper folded neatly on his side—blending so nicely to your white sheets, you almost missed it.

With shaking hands, you grab the papers. You didn’t know if you wanted to read the things he was going to be telling you. Maybe he'll tell you finally that you were wrong about him. That he still loved her and would love her for much longer. You don't believe you're ready for it. You don't think anyone is ever ready for something like this. But you suck it up, lean back on the headrest of your bed, and start to read.

YN,

     I don't know how to start this. There's a lot of things I need to tell you. I'm writing this as you walk away from me, in the cabin I'm supposed to stay in for another day without you. Without your warmth, without your voice. I only had your scent left but now all of that's gone too because I made the mistake of getting too close with a woman who wasn't you. A woman I'd never feel for as much as I would ever feel for you.

     I'm stupid. Osamu has told me over and over again that I would never make the right decisions while I'm hung up on someone so badly. He'd said I'd never be with someone who wouldn't leave me hanging if I kept hanging on to someone that wouldn't even commit. It's ridiculous because I never lived by that advice. I never listened to Samu until you were in front of me and I wanted nothing more than to shake her hold on me. I didn't realize it was at that point, YN. And I was so mad at myself I let it become a part of me for so long that I couldn't remove myself from it fast enough to make you stay.

    I failed you. What this is is probably both karma and self-sabotage. I've done things I'm not proud of. I see it now. I should've done a million things better. But all I did was choose the wrong things.

    It was always a bunch of couldn'ts for me. Couldn't commit, couldn't move on, couldn't choose the right things. And in return, all I've wanted from you was your coulds. That you could somehow accept that I'm messed up and couldn't get my shit sorted out, that you could love me despite that, that you could understand.

    And I feel so bad, baby. Because you could. Over and over again. That's all you've given me. All I've asked from you, even in secret, I got in return.

    You don't need to ask from me. I know I've put myself in a situation I need to fix whether someone asks me for it or not. I wished it was that easy so many times, YN. I felt like I was so close. I was almost there and I'd run out of time.

    That was all my fault. You don't have to tell yourself maybe you could have waited longer, another could, because you don't have to. You've waited long enough. None of the reasons why we didn't work out your fault. It was all mine.

    I wouldn't want you to keep waiting. Don't wait for me, YN. I'm not worth waiting that long over. I don't want any more of your memories of me to be with so much hurt. Not when the ones I have of you are possibly the best moments of my life.

    2nd-year high school was the best memory I had of going to school. You were in the crowd, in the seats close to the court because you were watching Sakusa Kiyoomi play and I looked at you. I thought then you were the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. That you could have the worst personality and I wouldn't even mind.

    It was the first memory I have of feeling like I was in love. I was so young and it's ridiculous to even think a sixteen-year-old could ever feel like that.

    I don't know why I let your asshole of a best friend get between me then but that was the worst mistake of my life, clearly. Then it's all what-ifs. What if we had met then? What if I didn't let anything stop me? I saw you everywhere after that. For years after. And while the beat of my heart dulled for a little, it never got quiet, YN.

    Then I see you again, so fucking close eight years later with that look in your eyes. Like you loved Sakusa so much and he didn't love you back. I didn't know why there was an urge for me to make sure you never felt that way again. My heart beat so loud I'd never believed more that it really exists inside me.

     From that moment, the only memories I've ever had were those that I'll never forget.

    How did I let all of that go to waste? How did I mess up something I've wanted so bad?

    I'm so fucked up.

   Now you're sleeping beside me. On the last night I'll see you, at least for quite some time. I don't know why this letter has gotten so long. But maybe there were just so many things I wanted you to hear but couldn't say. There were also things you probably didn't want to hear but I wanted to say anyway. I'm a selfish bastard.

    Even as you kissed me on the lips and told me you loved me over and over, I couldn't say it. I didn't want to because you never would have gotten to the airport if I did. Because I'd be too selfish to let you go. Because hearing me finally say it would make you confused. I know it would. And I didn't want that.

    Love is not supposed to hurt, YN. And I've hurt you far too much. I don't want the three most important words I've ever said to be associated with the pain I would cause you if you happened to stay.

    But I wanted you to know anyway. It would probably be easier for you if I just never tell you to begin with but the thought of you not knowing kills me. I'll be selfish and tell you, YN.

   I love you so much. I love you so fucking much I don't know how I'd go through tomorrow without you. Without knowing how long I'll have to wait for you. But still, I love you so much that I would. Because you've waited for me when I had nothing in return to give you.

   But you don't have to do that, YN. You don't have to wait for me. Fall in love and be happy. Sure I'd kill the guy ten times over in my head but I'd still want you to find the happiness you deserve. One that would come without any baggage.

   Don't reply to this letter. Don't text me a happy birthday or call me because you feel bad like I know you would. This letter isn't to keep you stuck in the past. It's what I hope would send you in the future.

    I love you so so fucking much.

    You're my everything.

-        Rin with a black heart emoji because it's cooler. I love you.

You cried for so long after reading the letter that you had to force yourself to get through the day of getting ready. You cried in your shower, didn't bother to put makeup on because you cried all the way to the drive in the airport. You'd cry handing on your ticket too—your fingers shaking as you hand in your passport. The flight attendants have given you weird stares but your focus is stuck on the letter you sneaked in the back of your phone case. After that, you cried for days and weeks more to come.

You missed him. You wanted to call him, text him. He's in everything you do. Every new place you go to, you wished you could have experienced with him. It had been his birthday then. The day you let him go. And every 25th of the month you count the days that passed since he told you he loved you, wishing it stood true in the test of time.

It stayed that way for a long time. Like a never-ending cycle you've grown used to. It was a day to day of loving him,  missing him, and regretting he wasn't by your side when you could have done something about it.

But like what everyone said, time heals everything and it passes by in the blink of an eye. A lot happened in such a period of time and you've both gained and lost a lot.  Though, it shouldn't be too surprising.

Not when it has been two years since that day you left.

Still, faster than you could have imagined, everything has changed from the way it was before you boarded the plane.

And if the wedding invitation on your mail with his name written in bold isn't enough testament to the fact, then you aren't sure what is.

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[fredoesque]

actually while im wearing my izzy hot takes hat have we considered that part of the reason izzy wants ed to be more blackbeard-y is that in his eyes he was happier as blackbeard??

alright this got kind of long so im sticking it under a read more

ok so, obviously there are other factors at play but I keep thinking about the scene in ep4 where ed tells izzy hes gonna kill stede and take his place. Because the end goal of that plan is ed retiring and izzy's happy with that plan. And it is pretty clear he would prefer for ed to keep being blackbeard, but his retirement seems like an acceptable alternative to him. That implies to me that the idea that izzy only cares about ed as blackbeard isn't true, at least not entirely

and on top of that i feel like izzy must have known about some of ed’s vulnerabilities pre-canon and still respected him. He does call him edward, for one, and if ed’s not killing people who do you think is? Izzy can’t have missed that, even if it was never explicitly said. And i do think izzy is enchanted by the blackbeard myth to some extent, but i also feel like he must know it is only a myth and yet he still sticks around

It’s also implied that there was a time ed enjoyed pirating and he’s losing that enjoyment hence the midlife crisis. Izzy probably witnessed both that decline and how ed was before it. and so i think that when izzy wants ed to be blackbeard, he wants ed to become the man who became blackbeard, because that was a man who was happy as a pirate, rather than that he truly wants ed to become what he must know is a mirage

and again that’s caught up in the fact that it’s a mirage izzy admires, like there’s a reason that’s his go to solution!! But i think izzy could let blackbeard be ed if ed seemed like the person that became blackbeard, because that was a person that! was! happy!! at least in izzy’s eyes, and that’s why he can agree with the retirement plan. 

but he can’t agree with stede making ed happy. And yes, that’s because he has his own hang-ups about masculinity and piracy that stede doesn’t conform to and it’s probably also because he’s jealous of stede’s closeness with ed but i think it’s ALSO because he doesn’t think stede will actually keep ed happy in the long run

izzy is misjudging what does and doesn’t make ed happy and his judgement’s clearly colored by his own issues, but he’s also not entirely wrong for distrusting ed’s supposed happiness with stede

because that happiness is completely dependent on stede who a) has already abandoned one family and b) is not particularly likely to survive super long as a pirate. And we know that’s unfair to stede, but izzy doesn’t. Those fears aren’t even completely unjustified because stede DOES leave and it DOES fuck ed up

like it is true that ed can’t let his entire happiness depend on one guy, izzy just chooses the worst way to try and fix that because at the end of the day he’s just a fucked up little man with a bunch of issues and he’s probably making decisions based on a past ed rather than current ed

and i recognize i might be giving him to much credit, but i think that adding this idea into the motivation soup just makes izzy that much more complex and interesting. Like i see and respect all your ‘izzy loves blackbeard but not ed’ takes, but i’m fascinated by the idea that the version of ed izzy actually loves is ed’s past self, the person he was when ed and blackbeard existed in harmony, and that he’s trying to get that person back because in his eyes that would be better for the BOTH of them

[chatonnoir]

Super new fan here butt Im curious as to why there seems to be -Im probably exaggerating- Adrien Stan's who like his chat Noir side or want him to be moore like Felix but not really him. Is there something wrong wit him? -just a vibe I got off of TikTok fans dat confuses me as much as the hate towards maribug-

Those are likely the basic straight girls who want Chat Noir to be this hypersexual masculine alphahole wattpad badboy for their bad heteronormative Chat Noir x Reader smut (often mislabeled as mari/chat with """Marinette"""" AKA reader-insert being jealous/upset that Chat Noir likes Ladybug only to turn around and be flattered when he flirts with the """"real her""""" smh real Marinette would never). They hate Adrien bc seeing him reminds them that he's actually a sweet gentle 14 year old boy with a babyface and a more feminine personality and that shatters the ~sexy alpha male~ illusion for them.

The first time I ever saw an ML tiktok, I saw endless comments talking about how "Chat Noir is sooo sexy but I don't like Adrien, Chat Noir is so much better" etc. and after that I resolved to never touch ML tiktok again. I also see similar shit in Youtube comments, alongside people hating on Buguinette or talking about how they want Chat Noir to ~get mad at Ladybug and then go fall in love with Marinette~ for the reasons mentioned above. I also just see videos that have godawful takes about the show, so I don't touch ML youtube anymore either.

As for the hate towards Buguinette .......... having been in online fandoms for like a decade, I can tell you that fans hating on a girl character for anything and everything, especially when a prettyboy character who everyone loves and/or lusts after is involved, is sadly the norm. If she dares to have agency/personality and isn't blank slate enough to be projected on to/self-inserted through, they'll hate her. If she's simply too nice and sweet, the people with insecurities about their own ugly personalities will decide she's a "mary sue" and hate her. If she likes a fan fave male character too much, she's annoying. If she so much as breathes near a fan fave male character incorrectly, then she's a stupid mean bitch and he "deserves better". If she dares to breathe near two dudes who are in a popular m/m ship, they'll decide she's annoying or they'll say she's a lesbian and box her off in a corner bc they don't actually care about lesbians, that's just a way to keep her "out of the way" in a way that looks good and woke. Jealousy towards fictional female characters is actually the corniest fandom phenomenon of them all

[yondzone]

Bungou stray dogs relationship headcanons

sfw very sligth nsfw

those under 16 please do only read the sfw part

↰             𓂃              ⌲                   ⌂.

⋆ ☄.⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠂* ; ☔

𝕱𝖎𝖔𝖉𝖔𝖗 𝕯𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖔ï𝖊𝖛𝖘𝖐𝖎

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ If you managed to have your way to his heat, then you are definitely one special fellow to him, so only to you and around you he will show is soft persona that he never let anyone see in decade.

⌗ If you end up living together, the little time he his at home he will he bring your breakfast at bed to make up for the fact that he his basically never here.

⌗ He prefer kissing you on the cheek rather than on the lips. And in the morning (if by miracle he didn’t already leave) he’ll automatically kiss you cheek to wake you up. And if he his here before going to sleep he’ll ask for a kiss on the cheek.

⌗ He also like night cuddles (of course he won’t admit it.) he never touched anybody so you give hi this feeling of constant novelty.

⌗ He loves when you are jealous and he is gonna tease you with those word : "you seems jealous, is everything fine ? :)" in fact he hates people but if it means seeing your jealous face he don’t mind playing the womanizer for some minute to just tease you.

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗Fyodor is definitely a top this bitch will rather die than being a bottom.

⌗ He know the effect it have on you when he tie his hair up so you can be sure that evrrytime you do the deed he while have is hair up ✨.

⌗ Low key have a master servant kink that get him going for hours.

⌗ Hes not someone very vocal when you both do it.

⌗ He doesn’t look like this but he his really touchy in the bed.

⌗ Bed is his favorite place he is quite traditional in fact he does not want it in other place rather than the bedroom.

⌗ But he lost his traditionalism the day you introduced to him ‘sex toys’ oh so a new way to torture you without killing you? he’ll take this opportunity gladly.

⌗ One day you tried to be on top and your ‘master’ did not like that so he destroyed you for the whole night.

𝕮𝖍𝖚𝖚𝖞𝖆 𝕹𝖆𝖐𝖆𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ Chuuya is very romantic, like very romantic.

⌗ He likes kisses, giving and receiving, he does not have a favorite place to kiss or to be kissed because he loves hems all.

⌗ When he is stressed or tired (or both), he likes to cuddle you, wine and cuddle are his comfort things.

⌗ Speaking of cuddling, he likes to cuddle you while taking a shower (hot water and rose petals) after all he his very comfortable with you and love your presence

⌗ He feels more confident when you compliment him, and he will shamelessly admit it ‘please compliment me more’

⌗ Chuuya is quite jealous and possessive. If someone tries to hit on you or make a move, he will go feral on this person and make sure everyone in the future who you belong too

⌗ A whore for PDA in public, he will always hold your hand or put his arm around you, so that everyone will see that you are taken.

⌗ He won't tell you that he loves you often, because he prefer action out of words. He's the type of person willing to do anything to drown you in gifts and make you happy.

⌗ If you find something nice or cool, he will buy it for you, just to see you smile. Needy Chuuya want to see you smile

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ He his totally a switch, one day he can feel like a total top and the day after will feel the need to be dominated.

⌗ He like being on top yes, but he prefer it when you are riding him he really love seeing you body from below, its exquisite.

⌗ He is an hips man, he love them. So you being on top of him gives him the opportunity to admire and explore your body.

⌗ Chuuya likes your moans very much, he finds them adorable and it shows that you feel good, which makes him happy.

⌗ Chuuya is vocal, way too much vocal in the bed.

⌗ He his considered as the king of aftercare trust me, its heaven.

𝕯𝖆𝖟𝖆𝖎 𝕺𝖘𝖆𝖒𝖚

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ Do not lie to yourself, a relationship with Dazai have high chance of ending not well because of some toxicity he may develop as time goes on.

⌗ He his really possesive, once he got you he wont let you go,never ever.

⌗ He love to kiss you. He loves the taste of your lips and the feeling of kissing you makes him feel something he never had.

⌗ In public, dazai will be the dork he his but… in worse. (yes its possible) he will be playful to death with you.

⌗ While when you are alone, he is much more sentimental but he will continue to remain slightly playful.

⌗ He loves teasing you, if he manage to make you blush, it will makes him continue even more because he finds you oh so adorable when you are embarrassed.

⌗ At night, he will cuddle you while holding you tightly, so that you can feel safe and loved.

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ Dazai doesn't really feel the need to have sex he have better thing to do and never really tough about commitment wit anybody.

⌗ But when it's with you, he will have sex with you after-all all opportunity to your body, he’ll take it.

⌗ Slow and passionate sex over here! He his rarely pn the fast and rough side but if you ask he’ll comply to any of your desire.

⌗ He don't really have favorite position, nor kink except maybe some bondage

⌗ Did I forget that he have a praise kink? Of course receiving and giving,

⌗ Dazai is very vocal, im not talking about moan they are relatively low, but about praise, when you both are doing the deed, praise are overflowing (🦋🦋🦋)

𝕾𝖎𝖌𝖒𝖆

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ Sigma never had anything except his casino which his his whole life so at first when he get implied in a relationship he will be clumsy not knowing how human relation work

⌗ He will need guidance from you, he wont make first move simply because he does not know how it work.

⌗ He his kind, really really kind to you. He view you as something very fragile and it will take time for him to comprehend that you are not weak.

⌗ Because he his always in his casino the only moment you can see him his when he his in his office, he barely goes to sleep too occupied maintaining the casino.

⌗ You finally gave him what he desired : reasons to live, you are very much cherished by him.

⌗ And you also need to cherish him and make him gain confidence in himself.

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ He his a bottom he have no social skill and does not know anything about how the society or relationship work as I already said.

⌗ You basically need to do everything and engage everything.

⌗ Your kink are his kink, you’re favorite position is also his favorite.

⌗ The man cry a lot out of pleasure in the bedroom, he his utterly beautiful when he cries.

⌗ As time goes by he will gain in assurance and try to be on top but out of habit he just revert back to being bellow. But please praise him, he tried.

𝕹𝖎𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖘 𝕲𝖔𝖌𝖔𝖑

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ … how did you get yourself into this relationship again?

⌗ do not go out with him I repeat to not go out with him,  at home its okay but when in public he start to theatrically declare his love to you, I promise dying would be better than having to support this embarrassment anymore.

⌗ you know that he love asking rhetorical question right? Just let him be, read a book or play on your phone while he monologue

⌗ the number of nickname you have can’t be counted on two hands

⌗ he forces you to call him by nickname and pet name he himself thought of ‘from now on call me the pineapple of your ocean eyes’ …. the fuck is wrong with his brain, where your first tough

⌗ He always kept on repeating that he wanted to be free and first say to you that you should not hope for him to be sweet or be present but every time you come home he his here patiently waiting on the couch.

⌗ his change of persona really surprise you every time they happen, even after years of dating it’s sill hard for you to grasp his true self, a playful sadistic idiot, or a serious full of guilt person aware of his cruel crime.

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ he his so sadistic, he love to see you cry

⌗ definitely into cosplay and role play in the bedroom ‘today I am the pirate and you my parrot look at those beautiful costume’

⌗ you have an enormous box with all of your disguises

⌗ he have every sex toy possible, may or may not have already bought every sex toy from a store

⌗ usually rough, very rough, and sometime he break the mood with his goofy attitude, he does not mind the mood being broke because he’ll restore it in no time

⌗ they are time he his acting like a narrator as he fuck you ‘then gogol slowly slap her pink ass-’ this is really disturbing

⌗ you can have a little of respite when he decide to have sex with his serious personality respite.

when it happen it’s fast but passionate and stop the joke and the room become silent only filled with both of your moans

[entishramblings]

The Essence of Arda [Legolas X Reader]

A.N: whoA okay so this fic took me on a whole ass adventure. I kinda just let the story go where it wanted to and ya know I’m kinda happy with how it turned out. Also, “(h/c)” means hair color...there is something I included but I wanted to make sure you guys could still see yourself as the character so yeah! Another also...I’m sorry....this was requested literally so long ago.

Request: @sokkasdarling — heyhey im gonna request smth cus i LOVE U AND UR WRITING HHHH okay so how about a jealous legolas fic where he thinks the reader and aragorn have a lil thing going on but they're just really great friends and she actually likes legolas very much?? please and thank you<3333

Pairing: Legolas X Reader

Summary: (Y/N) and Legolas’s paths cross in an unexpected way and the two develop feelings for each other. However, Legolas is unsure and gets jealous bc of the way Aragorn and (Y/N) interact.

Word Count: 3,661 (sorry I got a little carried away)

Warnings: angst, fluff, cuteness, jealousy, the tiniest amount of nudity

(gif not mine)

MASTERLIST | AO3

Legolas had met many wandering souls throughout his travels of middle earth—weathered, withered, and warped humans in particular, for the elements and loneliness seemed to affect them more so. Elves, on the other hand, were bound to nature. It was where their hearts rested and their spirits thrived; therefore, the desperation of the empty lands of Arda did not affect him. However, that didn’t mean he did not wish for company. So, on that account, Legolas made his way north towards the Dundain, in hopes to see his good friend Aragorn once more.

It was there, in the northern wilderness, where he met the most riveting and thought-provoking individual. The intriguing nature that compelled his attention was that she was so unlike the other humans he ventured upon, specifically because she wasn’t exactly human.

The first time he had met (Y/N) was when her sharp canine teeth were at his throat.

A (h/c) she-wolf had launched herself at him with an unhinged jaw and barring teeth. The nimble creature had been so swift that he, even as an elf, did not have time to react. The wolf had pinned him down with a viscous expression—laughing at his surprise. Legolas was only quick enough to pull a knife from his belt once he was already knocked down upon the mud. However, he hesitated just before he was going to strike the blade into the beasts’ belly.

As intimidated as he was, something in those vibrant earthy eyes made him halt. Was it the deep churning of the sea? The fresh breath of the sky? The moisture of the leaves? The pooling of sun-kissed honey? The thickness of clay-like soil? Legolas was unsure why exactly, but those eyes reflected the essence of Arda—they reflected it right back into his soul. And here was his miscalculation, for the natural instincts of a wolf would not suspend for its prey—well, not without a familiar voice calling out....?

“(Y/N), NO!”

The creature froze. She reluctantly backed off of his form but she did not let her guard down. Instead, she circled him with those same barring teeth and low growls.

Legolas inhaled a deep breath of cold air as he tried to re-center himself, for it was not often an elf got knocked on their ass and enthralled so deep in a beauty.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and focused in on his elvish senses—feeling every nerve in his body scream out to be alert.

Legolas’s ears picked up the first indication—the speaker.

A sound of rough, ragged panting carried through the breeze as his gaze whispered upon the being who had previously hollered—a worn down Ranger.

A small grin crossed the elf’s face. Aragon stood before Legolas, with hands on his knees, sucking in deep breathes. An entirely human action. The Ranger clearly had a hard time keeping up with the canine creature—which he surprisingly seemed to be acquainted with.

“Legolas, by the Valar, I didn’t know you were traveling through these parts,” He exclaimed.

The elf chuckled as he stood, brushing dirt off his palms.

“Well, I suppose I am lucky for she listens to you well,” He nodding at the wolf for reference.

The Ranger shook his head and let out an amused laugh. “She never listens to a thing I say. So, you are lucky, indeed.”

The wolf released a snort-like sound as if she was retorting to his words.

The Ranger rolled his eyes before speaking to Legolas again, “Let me show you to where we are camped. A hot meal will be waiting.”

Legolas smiled softly, “Thank you, Mellon Nin (my friend).”

The group—consisting of man, elf, and wolf—traveled through the woodland tundra with small conversation between the two who could speak. They shared their recent adventures and current news across the lands until they come upon a handful of Rangers around a blazing fire. They were clad in similar attire as Aragorn, being worn leather boots and thick fraying fabrics. Each of them had the same haunted expressions as many people Legolas had met, yet nothing like the joyful grin that pulled slightly at Aragorn’s lips.

The Ranger introduced each of his companions to the elf as he settled down upon a log. Legolas did the same, allowing himself to become enthralled by the brilliant flames. The she-wolf left his thoughts.

As the moon rose high and stars stretched across the sky, the rangers began to settle for the evening. It was then when the elf ducked away to relieve himself.

He made his way through the twisting trees in silence for he enjoyed listening to the sounds of night’s nature. But the normal chirps and hoots was not what met his ears; rather it was snapping bones and ripping skin, small groans and weak whimpers—it was pain.

Legolas narrowed his eyes and crept forward cautiously, fearful of what he might find.

The sounds let him towards a rather large bolder that was impeded in the ground and covered in thick moss. He was startled as he laid a hand on the cold stone, for a leg protruded upon the side—a leg belonging to the canine species.

It bended and it snapped, morphing into one of human nature—much like his own. It then disappeared behind the rock once more. He could not hold back the gasp that left his lips for witnessing such a thing was—shocking, confusing, terrifying. It was unnatural, but then again, what was ever natural within the lands of Arda?

Legolas’s attention was drawn upwards as a naked figure shakily stood before him.

She stood straight, with impeccable posture, and a head held high; but that is not what claimed his consciousness. It was that vibrant gaze, burning angry holes into him.

She spoke sharply, “Well, are you going to pass me my clothing?”

Instead of responding or making any motion, he froze as if he was deer hiding from the predator once more. His blue orbs locked onto hers, for he dared not let his gaze wander.

Dreadful silence hung in their air as he processed that the person before him indeed was a wolf moments before—the wolf.

However, that antagonizing absence of sound was disrupted when life was breathed back into him and he could finally move his lips. Though it came out as a whisper, for elves were conservative creatures and such a sight had caught him off guard, it still came out nonetheless.

“You are—are not entirely human.” He stated with an expression that seeped curiousness and inquiry.

“Though, currently, I am shaped like one. So, as you are in my way, I will ask you once again to pass me my clothing.” She reiterated.

Legolas’s brows pulled together and his lips mumbled her words back to her as he searched his mind for the meaning. He twisted around and around until a pile of dark fabrics caught his eye. He grasped them gently and passed it over the boulder between them into her calloused hands.

He turned so his back was facing her. His anxiety and awkwardness reverberated off of every word that non-consensually tumbled from his lips. “You are a shifter then—able to alter your form? A wolf....so I suppose it was you who almost tore my throat out.” He paused before recalling her name, “(Y/N).” He should have stopped there if he could, but alas, he couldn’t. “I have only ever met one other like you. His name was Beorn—a great black bear he was—“

She interrupted him, “Most elves I come across are not so verbal. Though, Strider had mentioned you before, Legolas. A strange fellow you are indeed.”

A small grin of embarrassment flickered across his face, not that she could see. “He called me strange?”

A laugh, sounding of blades of grass rubbing together against the wind, struck the air. (Y/N) spoke, “For an elf he had said. But truly, he was too generous with those extra words.”

Legolas tilted his head at that for it seemed to be an insult; but before he could decide on such a matter, she called out to him again—this time fully clothed and ten feet in front of him.

“Are you coming?”

He quickly scampered after her.

As he and (Y/N) entered the area, Aragorn, who still sat by the fire, glanced up with a shimmer in his eye.

Legolas gridded his teeth and sat down next to the man. In a voice as low and quiet as he could muster, he spoke to the Ranger. “Why didn’t you tell me she was the wolf?”

Aragorn smirked in amusement before whispering back, “I figured you would eventually come to that conclusion and by your expression it was not of the best experiences.”

Legolas shot his friend a glare, but that only made the Ranger grin more.

Luckily for the elf, (Y/N) interrupted the moment. “Strider, did you save me some stew? I’m starved.”

The man passed a bowl to her as he spoke, “You know I always do, (Y/N).”

She smiled gratefully.

The Ranger stood and made his way to his bedroll, clapping the elf on the shoulder as he went.

Legolas took notice of the interaction between the two and turned his attention to the woman sitting across from him.

Once he was sure Aragorn was out of ear shot, he spoke quite bluntly, “You and Strider....are you—“

She snorted, “No, no. His heart lies in Rivendell.”

Legolas raised an eyebrow, “And yours?”

(Y/N) shrugged and glanced up at the scenery around them. “Here. In the lands of middle earth.”

The elf tilted his head, examining her again.

She stopped her chewing and sent him an accusatory look. “What?”

Legolas smiled softly, “I sense that shifters are much like elves in that regard—bound to nature and tethered in the sky.”

She raised a brow, “And what makes you think that?”

He chuckled lightly at her bold fierceness, “Your eyes. I can see the essence of Arda in them.”

(Y/N) shook her head in amusement, “Elves and their poetry.” She paused, taking a moment to think. “Although what you say is true, it is within that where I think we differ. You elves are laced up spiritually whereas shifters are tied animalisticly.” When the elf did not respond she continued, “You care for morals, I care to survive.”

Legolas nodded in understanding, “Yet we both appreciate the beauty of it.”

The corner of her lip pulled upwards and she shook her head in agreement.

......

As time went on and the small group traveled, the female shifter and the elf became great friends—bonding over their infinity with nature. The two had split off from the rangers for a little while because (Y/N) wanted to see the forest of Greenwood and examine what seemed to be haunting it. However, after approximately two moon cycles, they met with Aragorn once more. He was not with his previous companions though, so it was only the three of them.

The months had gotten colder and they traveled upon open plains so (Y/N) stayed in her wolf form. It was easier for the time being. And it was in this shape that she came bounding towards the ranger that she had not seen in a while.

She jumped up upon him, knocking him to the ground as she had once done to Legolas. She plastered wet slobbery licks upon his face as his chest rumbled with laughter.

The elf could not help but feel a pang of jealous encase his heart. He had grown to develop feelings for the shifter as they had grown close over their journey. 

Just as he felt bound to nature, he felt bound to her.

So he stood, with a fire burning in his heart, as he watched (Y/N) give canine affection to his human friend.

As the days continued on, Legolas’s irritation grew. (Y/N) strayed closer to Aragorn’s side—rubbing her face against his leg and pawing at his feet in attempt to trip him.

Of course, Aragorn could pick up on the elf’s mood and angry looks. He had thought Legolas was aware of his lover in Rivendell, but perhaps not. The Ranger had wanted to find a moment alone with the elf so he could assure him of the sibling-like relationship between him and the shifter; but with open freezing lands like this, there was no privacy.

The small trio had settled upon large rocks for the night as that was the only shelter available. They lit a brilliant fire in attempt to starve off the nipping wind, but it only did so much.

Aragorn, wrapped in blankets, had fallen asleep quite quickly; whereas Legolas sat brooding, leaning against a boulder.

It was a moment before he noticed those curious eyes on him. They twinkled with the emotions of Arda, searching his soul. With a tilted head, the wolf approached him slowly.

She crawled forward, so close that her wet nose was inches from his own. She resting one large paw upon his thigh but her weight did not hurt him.

Legolas did not move because he was taken by surprise. (Y/N), as partially human, did understand boundaries; yet, she did not seem to care about them in this instance. Instead, she studied him—up close.

The elf knew that she was searching him for answers given she had noticed his mood as well. However, Legolas did not wish to give any. Therefore, he held his porcelain elf features strong, not bending to her intimidation. He starred right back at her. Though this time, his eyes were filled with anger and frustration—and (Y/N) could tell.

Legolas was upset with her for she blatantly gave Aragorn affections.

Could she not see his heart?

He had said he would not bend to her will and intimidation. He had decided he would be cold towards her. He had made a choice—a choice that he could not uphold as he gazed into her soft eyes of nature.

Slowly, he raised a gentle hand. He brought it close to her face. When she did not pull away, he cupped the canine’s features.

To his disbelief, (Y/N) completed an action he had never seen her do before—even with Aragorn. She leaned into his touch.

Legolas’s lips parted as the moment encapsulated his mind.

He let his hand fall slowly and (Y/N) leaped off his lap. But she did not scamper off in a different direction. Instead, she ducked into his side and curled up against him. She let her head rest on his lap.

Cautiously, Legolas began to stroke her soft, (h/c) fur. He let the short strands slip through his fingers, lulling her to sleep.

.....

When Legolas woke, (Y/N) was not in his sights. He sent a confused expression towards Aragorn who was tending to the dwindling flames.

“She will be back,” the Ranger stated simply.

The elf stood and walked towards Aragorn. “Where did she go?”

The ranger shrugged while biting back a smile.

Legolas frowned at his playful expression, “I know you know something, Aragorn.”

The man raised his brows. “I woke sometime in the night. You and (Y/N) seemed quite close.” He paused, the tone of his voice changing, “You know, she never lets anyone touch her like that.”

“Never have you....?” Legolas let his sentence trail off as the ranger shook his head.

Aragorn spoke again, “My heart rests with another.”

Their conversation was cut short by a feminine voice. “Have either of you seen my cloak?”

Legolas’s head snapped in the direction of the sound for it had been long since (Y/N) was in her human form.

The shifter stood before them shivering slightly in her clothes. They were clearly not fit for the freezing air as the fabric was thin—so thin that her the curve of her breasts and nipples was easily seen.

Legolas adverted his eyes and instantly began to ruffle through his bag as he spoke with concern in his tone. “(Y/N), why have you shifted to your human form? Did you not say it was safer for you to travel through this weather as a wolf?”

She sighed, “It is harder to communicate in my animal form.”

Both of the men knew what she was alluding to.

Legolas cleared his throat and pulled out a couple fabrics from his bag. “I have been carrying your cloak.” He moved towards her as he continued speaking. “Wear this as well. It is an elvish tunic weaved from my homeland; it will keep you warm.”

“Legolas, you don’t ha—“

He shook his head, “Please, I insist.”

(Y/N) reluctantly took it and pulled the fabric over her head. She frowned as she handled the wrap around ties, not quite able to figure out how they were supposed to lay.

The elf smiled softly, “Here, let me.”

Ever so gently he took the extra fabric in his hands and begun to weave it around her form. He tied the delicate cloths in a simple knot before moving to fasten her cloak under her chin.

“Thank you, Legolas.”

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear, “It is no problem.”

He turned to gather his belongings as they were to continue their way through Arda. However, as he did so, Aragorn shot him an amused playful look. The elf sent him a sharp glare in retribution.

.....

Within a couple days, a winter storm hit the group. Luckily, they were not far from a human town which they gratefully took refuge in. Of course, as they busted into the inn, many weird looks were thrown their direction. It was not often this area was crossed by elves and rangers—and skin changers, but they were unaware of (Y/N)’s less than human nature.

They each paid for a room and took time to settle into the warmth.

Legolas rested on the edge of the cot, fiddling with one of his blades. He had let his thoughts wander to a place he had been avoiding. A bond with nature was one thing he knew deep within his soul, but a bond with another was something untouched and left uncovered. Of course he had had acquaintances with friends and family; however, the bond he was debating over was one with a lover. He knew where his heart craved to be, yet he was unsure how to proceed.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the frame of his open door.

Legolas looked up to see (Y/N). She was wearing fresh clothing, likely washed and pressed by a maid. All the filth and grim had been scrubbed from her skin and her wet hair was pulled into a tight braid.

“(Y/N),” he stated simply. “Is something wrong?”

She shook her head as she stepped into his room, “Well, not entirely.”

Legolas frowned at that comment.

The shifter walked closer until she stood only a foot from the elf.

He looked up into her vibrant eyes with question.

(Y/N) cleared her throat as she gently placed something soft and neatly folded into his hands. “Thank you for lending me your extra tunic.”

He smiled softly at her, “Won’t you need it again when we depart? The weather isn’t getting warmer anytime soon.”

A light chuckle rumbled in her chest and she shook her head in response.

Legolas placed the fabric next to him and looked up at her again. He did not notice he was staring until she whispered his name.

“Legolas, why do you do that?”

He tilted his head trying to hid his embarrassment, “What do you mean?”

Her teeth scraped her bottom lip, “Why do you look at me like that?”

The elf adverted his gaze, “My apologizes. I did not mean to offend you—“

(Y/N) interrupted him, “It is not an offense.” She sighed before speaking again. “You look at me like you marvel at nature—as if I am something so breath taking.”

“You are.” He frowned, “Do you not think so of yourself?”

The woman did not say a word; instead, she shifted her vision to the floor.

Legolas reached outwards and took her hand in his own. “You are breath taking, (Y/N)—even more so than nature.”

She shook her head, “I—I don’t understand.”

Legolas could not hold back any longer. He knew he needed to explain what he meant but no words could formulate such a thing. Therefore, he gave into his impulses and did the only thing he could think of to demonstrate it. The elf pulled her into him and grasped her cheeks with his hands. Legolas drew her face downward and smashed his lips against hers. When she did not reiterate any action he instantly pulled away. Had he taken a step too far?

“Legolas,” she breathed out in a whisper.

“I...I am sorry...I didn’t—“

She shook her head and clasped his cheeks, bringing his mouth to hers once again. Their lips moved together like the rhythmic dance of the wind—swirling and intertwining with eagerness. Legolas could taste the essence of Arda upon her lips—the sweet honey from east of the Anduin, the fresh berries from the region of Eriador, the bitter nuts from the mountains of Angmar. (Y/N) moved her body in-between his legs, but she decided that that was not close enough. So, she lifted herself into his lap, letting his calloused hands encircle her waist and hold her steady. She could feel the warmth of sparking fires, the comfort of soft wool, the shield of shelter from harsh winds. Legolas laid down upon the bed, pulling her form with him. He could hear the pounding of her heart and the gasps of her breath. Every sound she made did not escape him, it fueled him. (Y/N) tangled her fingers in his blonde locks and smiled against his lips for she recognized every aspect of nature within the elf, for it was in her too. It was the essence of Arda.

.....

Everything Tag: @sokkasdarling @scxundress @quilledinkpen @hufflepuffinblr @lea----b @aredhel-of-gondolin @princecami @the-fandoms-georgie @jazziwritestolkienprimary @swimming-in-stardust

Legolas Tag: @dark-angel-is-back @mylittle-escapingdreams @arandomfandomblog @moriamithril

[mikyouknow]

Please! Rewatch the quiz! I need something to remind me that that actually happened.

I still vividly remember that day. Going out on a chill bike ride with my two best friends for the first time in months. Sitting in the cool grass. Having a picknick. Not too hot out, nice weather. AND THEN I GET HOME TO THE ABSOLUTEL SHITSHOW THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY! Because what the HELL even was that, I still haven't processed anything. My mind keeps erasing that memory until some days the it just hits me square in the face and knocks me out 😀

So yeah! I would love it if you talked more about it, might help to cope a bit xD

Okay anon you motivated me, you were my Final push, I’m Doing it ! 🗣

Also I love that story tho you really have a Vivid memory connected to this whole thing and I’m living for it 😂 you were just having a nice day and then Boom, all this mess 💀

But aight so I’m Watching it rn and will be taking notes Live as I watch Here we go:

My first thoughts is, when Dream decides to do the quiz, he seems so like, confident? And then as soon as he reads the description, his voice falters at ‘and now things are changing’ and I’m Dead 💀 his confidence from two seconds prior in that moment goes like 📉 then cue flustered laugh lmao

“Do you ever catch yourself staring at your bff?” Dream’s flustered laugh and being all like “these questions are gonna be so weird” uhhhhh dude what are you expecting you’re taking a are you in love with your best friend quiz 💀

HES SO DEFENSIVE ON THIS ONE LIKE- he keeps wanting to make excuses aww drema aww 😭 it’s okay !! George is pretty we Understand you staring king 😌

Like legit that’s the first question and he’s already so flustered and- MY GOD GEORGE HASNT SAID A THING I JUST REALIZED WAIT HOLD ON I NEED TO GO BACK-

Two scoffs. That’s it 🧍‍♀️

GEORGE JSJWNSOWNEEJEN HES NOT SAYING ANYTHING IM DYING WHAT

Even when Dream first goes ‘aight imma take the am I in love w my best friend test’ George is SILENT 💀

Listen- listen, I’m having a moment over this cause I don’t remember him being silent from the start I thought it was like a slow descent into him just going silent eventually, BUT NO he’s just Silent from the moment the quiz is brought up 💀 but gives like a slight scoff when Dream’s voice wavered at “changing” like he’s very much Listening, just being So silent.

I just can’t wrap my head around how he doesn’t answer any of Dream’s comments, Dream keeps being like ‘right? Like that’s normal, right? Like that’s not weird. Right?’ And George is just SILENT 💀

“Do you get jealous if he or she has a bf or gf” LMAO THIS QUESTION MY BELOVED

His answer is so weird I will die on this hill.

ALSO GEORGE S P E A K S for the first time in the quiz 😭🗣 but not much, he says ‘but’, cause, yk, they both know he do get jealous so.

Which, again. Weird as hell. Imma say it, I’ve never felt jealous of my best friend getting a partner like what ???? W h a t

But ofc when they’re so clingy on each other, like a partner would take the others place because they pretty much have each other in that spot already, so it makes sense huh

And that’s not platonic btw I wanna make that clear LMAO

I think the points of which George laughs are interesting. And there’s something interesting to his laugh too. I don’t see his face lighting up with it, if that makes sense. It’s like a, I wouldn’t say ‘nervous’ laugh but, I struggle to find a better word for it 🤔

AYO MY MANS DREAM SAYS I DONT KNOW TO IF HE GETS BUTTERFLIES FROM GEORGE I- 💀

THATS NOT AN I DONT KNOW QUESTION KING

EITHER YOU DO OR YOU DONT AND YOU KNOW IF YOU DO OR DONT LIKE W H A T

I have to sit with this one for a second like . What ? 🧍‍♀️

Butterflies.

I’ve never. In my life. Like.

That’s not- you can’t say you don’t know- THAT MEANS LIKE-

Dear lord.

Aight I’m moving on (not actually imma be awake thinking about this later. Not by choice, absolutely not. This just won’t leave my brain unfortunately.)

Hang on. George says something here when Dream says ‘I have no idea’ but I can’t tell what he’s saying ? Like he mumbles something whilst Dream starts talking at the same time and I can’t make it out and I wanna know what he says 💀🗣

I Think he says ‘what do you mean you have no idea?’ Which like, YEAH, you Should question him on that king 🧍‍♀️ but it’s interesting how quiet he is, like he barely pushes the question, and this is like the second ?? Time he’s spoken so far. 🧍‍♀️

Also Listen to how flustered Dream sounds my god💀

This quiz never should’ve happened what’s Wrong with him like is he this blind ?? Did he Really think taking this quiz was gonna end well ?? 💀

“TecHniCally🥴”

“My future is your future”

I feel like we’ve talked abt these LMAO such Romantic phrasing my god

Again him going ‘right?’ And George is Dead Silent 💀

It’s interesting, like I’ve reached the ‘dreams’ question now, and it’s hitting now and throughout this quiz how, Dream is Loudly deflective, but George is silently deflective. If that makes sense? Like he’s choosing not to speak so his words can’t be thrown back at him cause he Knows if he speaks it’ll be obvious. Whilst Dream over explains and fucks himself over p much lmao. They’re both just a mess around this subject 💀

“How would You be in my dream” is such a funny sentence from George LMAO he’s so defensive 💀 like even I have had dreams abt Dream, like you’re his Best Friend, ofc you have dreams abt him my guy 💀 deflecting it is so weird. So Weird

“I’ve never hugged you” Sad hours 😔

It’s interesting here. Cause they speak abt the whole ‘do you go out of your way for this person’ and Dream is stuck on if he should say ‘more than anyone else I know’ or not. Which, there’s ofc observations to be had here as well.

But ! What I found interesting here was how George goes onto say ‘you made me pay you’ when Dream says he edited his video for him. And how George keeps the ‘lie’ going for a very short bit before laughing slightly, by god he sounds so.. different? Like when he usually makes little lies to troll or stuff like that, he’s much more extra and keeps the bit going and- idk how to explain it but the tone of his voice is usually way different. Here he seems to, idk, struggle to keep that up. His laugh is also just like, somewhat toneless?

LMAO The MOMENT Dream got the question ‘what do you think abt their laugh’ George’s laugh Stops. 💀

“Do you ever think abt what it would be like to Kiss your best friend?”

THE SILENCE

Also,

how Dream read ‘kiss’ 🤝 how Dream read ‘changing’

Some words hit this man different huh LMAO

“Why did that take you so long” on the kiss question, CALL HIM OUT GEORGE 🗣

HRKEJEKEEJEKJEEIEJ HOW ARE THOSE- SORRY WHAT DREAM ??

“HOW ARE THOSE THE ONLY OPTIONS” ???

God, for real, I wish Dream would get to sit down with someone one day who just Listened to him speak and allowed him to slip up and just sound so in love with George like give himself away simply because nobody is saying how weird he’s-

Hold on.

Wait. A minute.

George.

George is doing that LMAOOOO

Him sitting there silently and not responding to all his small questions abt what he Should answer and such, he’s so smart🧍‍♀️

AIGHT MOVING ON

George’s laugh keeps sounding very, like, strange😅

Anyways the way Dream Had to have a ‘yes’ answer to the kiss one will forever keep me up at night. Now along with the butterflies one🧍‍♀️

I rly wonder what options it is Dream is looking for when he says ‘none of these options’ so often. What is it you wanna say king ?

WHY IS THE BUTTERFLIES QUESTION TWICE AND WHY IS HIS ANSWER NOW DIFFERENT LMAO - drema it’s okay it’s Safe Space 🗣 I feel like he probably saw chat responding to his first answer and realized ‘oop, that’s not platonic’ and changed his answer LMAO 💀 he’s- Ahh hard to find the right words for my Thoughts here, but he’s doing that thing where he looks for others what is ‘normal’ instead of seeing what he feels, cause what He feels is, uh, well we all know what results he got at the end there,,

I mean the kiss question is all u need really. The butterflies one puts icing on the whole cake.

“Do you compare this person to others you’ve dated? Noo...” AIGHT AND THERE WE HAVE THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THE WHOLE THING

This was the one of the Most sus ones imo from when I first watched it. It had my head spin, head in hands for Days.

What do you MEAN you compare him to others you’ve dated? Why does he tell George to shut up, why do they both Know there’s a story there- I have so many questions on this and- this isn’t platonic 💀😭 AT ALL - and there’s no excuse or explanations for this one, they just Move On 💀

The Speed at which they move on 💀

And then George goes So silent 🧍‍♀️

Dream is cruising through the questions and George is so silent now. He was Stunned into silence from that shut up LMAO

I like how Dream picked ‘absolutely’ on being able to tell George everything :’)

So.

Why does George not say anything on the ‘do you think your best friend is in love with you’ question? No joke, no protest, no- no nothing?

That leaves us to fill in the blanks king, just saying🧍‍♀️

Why does Dream sound sarcastic when he says it’s a tough question LMAO

“I have no idea” aight good answer ig LMAO let’s Pretend

George’s silence is for real very sus there. Very. 🥴

Dream putting ‘no’ on thinking he’s in love, is Very funny and shows just how blind he is to himself.

He rly put ‘I don’t know’ for the butterflies one and found the nearest ‘yes’ option for the kiss one and then still put ‘no’ at the end - he’s a lost cause and owns no mirrors I see how it is. (/j btw lmao I have hope in drema ofc, he too can become more self aware one day<3)

“You are a little in love with your best friend” cue both of them laughing in just the weirdest ways. George just sounds absolutely toneless like, I don’t think he’s even smiling with that laugh, gaze absolutely dazed at what he’s being witness to, not even knowing what to do with himself in that moment. And Dream’s laugh is also just, weird?

“You don’t wanna ruin it, Dream.” Followed by Dream’s immediate, “oh what? It says-“ like immediately moving on lmao 💀 that “oh what?” Sounded like “oh what’s that there oh that’s rly weird wow let’s move on from what you just said ahem wow really weird thing over there” LMAO

“There’s a two percent chance there” LMAO

OH NO THE SILENCE WHAT

I THOUGHT I ACCIDENTALLY PAUSED THE VIDEO BUT THE SILENCE IS SO LONG AND SO LOUD

Then Dream going onto pretending like he’s gonna do another test As If he’s not been planning his escape excuse from the very moment he got those test results LMAO

And the silent pauses are taking me out 💀

‘I think we’re done’ HOW COULD HE LEAVE AT THAT POINT 💀💀💀

“COOL PODCAST” IM DEAD ON THE FLOOR

“WHY ARE YOU SO NOSY” DREAM I- WHY U SO DEFENSIVE GEORGE ASKING WHERE YOU’RE GOING IS A NORMAL THING TO ASK 💀YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S SUDDENLY LEAVING

NOT DREAM AWKWARDLY SINGING THE WIZARD OF OZ-

HE SOUNDS SO WEIRD-

The tone of his voice is so off my guy is so ready to leave and sit and stare at a wall whilst looping heatwaves for five hours 💀

:((((( drema my beloved :((((( it’s okay to be in love !!

Not him leaving- he full on ignored George’s ‘where are you going?’

He’s not going anywhere istg the moment he left that discord he put his head in his hands and just Stared 💀

Poor George 🥺

[jojo-reader-hell]

BRO I JUST A TOP TIER GAY IDEA. SO OUR FAVORITE HAIR STAND BABE GETS JEALOUS BECAUSE SOME CHICK KEEPS LIKE LOOKING HER AND KOICHI UP AND DOWN. SO SHES ALL "BITCH KOICHI IS MINE STEP OFF", AND CLASSMATE IS LIKE "Girl I ain't checking HIM out boo 👀"......IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITES

THIS WAS A BAD IDEA TO REQUEST THIS WHEN IM BEING A SAD PINING GAY FOR MY GIRLFRIEND.

You think she didn’t notice you staring at them? Staring with those big ol eyes?

Wrongo bucko.

You stared in class at them. Stared when they walked out of the school building, stared when she showered her handmade gifts on him. It was nauseating.

The smell of infidelity, it was something she could get a whiff of in the air like a beagle locked on the scent of butthole balloon cocaine at a TSA checkpoint. Be it if Koichi had a new love interest, or someone was interested in him. Not something someone as paranoid as her would be able to miss even if there were thousands of life’s distractions to put her off the scent. She caught you the first time when she had finally invited Koichi to a cozy little cafe setting, waltzing on by like you didn’t follow him part of the way and glance longingly at their love. She wasn’t fucking stupid. Yukako knew what a longing glance was, and she was going to wring your neck out for it.

Every single time she caught you staring you ran, face turning red as a beet as you scurried away from the scene. At one moment she got so caught up in Koichi’s hesitation that she spilled her coffee and screamed at him.

She also decided after that date and confession got tainted that she was going to slam your face into the pavement, because after she returned from showing that class rep bitch who Koichi really belonged to, she saw you sucking up to him, trying to get sympathy from her one true love. You both were in an empty classroom, Koichi patting your back as you wailed in agony at his feet, kneeling on the floor.

How dare you... how dare you make a move on him behind her back.

You were twisting your skirt in knots, probably trying to make sure he got a peep of your underwear. From where she stood she could see it was a rose print pattern. What a fucking... you were just after one thing weren’t you?!

“How could anyone love me?!” she heard you blubber like a dying walrus. “I... I’ve never even had a boy like me. I’m so stupid and ugly and worthless-...”

“Hey hey hey!”

Yukako was seething. Spewing lava and hate when she saw Koichi lunge to hold you, rubbing your back gently as you got your filthy pedestrian tears all over the blazer of his uniform.

“Don’t talk like that...” Koichi’s voice was so soft, so kind, nothing like Yukako had ever heard before.

“You’re not any of those things. I think you’re beautiful and smart, and funny, and anyone who can’t see that has got to be blind! I think you’re very sweet and lovable too.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah! Totally, I mean if you were even interested I’d even go out with you!”

Now, it didn’t help that you had essentially turned the knife counter clockwise in her chest, sealing your fate forever to be just another teen casualty. Because her mounting rage was of Friday the 13th proportions, ready to burst through the window of your room with a machete in the dead of night and hang your entrails like fairy lights around your wall. She knew when she’d do it too. She was going to patiently bide her time and wait for your little “heart to heart” to end, lurking at the edge of the shadows and planning to ambush you when you least expect it.

That was the plan originally. She was waiting for you after school when there were no witnesses, confident she would get you. But how could she have any clue... Not the faintest idea of what to do came to her mind when she heard you cry out her name.

“Yukako! Yukako Yamagishi, I love you!”

She whipped around, almost too angry to hear what you said until she found herself immobile. You’d taken her hands, nearly falling out of your penny loafers when you leaned in, and you kissed her right on the mouth.

The whole time her eyes were wide open in shock. The mounting rage she felt... the burning flames of hatred, where did it go?! Suddenly her first kiss was gone and she noticed you didn’t really know what else to do from there because all you did was give her a quick peck and you were already shaking and out of breath.

She didn’t even focus that long on her kiss being taken by another girl, too busy wondering what had changed as she watched your eyes glitter wetly with tears.

“Yukako, I’ve loved you ever since the first time I laid eyes on you. I think you’re wonderful, and I don’t care if I’m weird or wrong or whatever, because I love you so much it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

Yukako blinked. That’s all she could do. Didn’t really have the coherence to do much else except blink owlishly at you. All her feelings were in such a jumbled mess, like clothes in a dryer.

“I... I’m not good at sewing or cooking, I can’t give you material things like a sweater with love in the stitches or some adorable box lunch... I don’t even have money to buy you expensive presents. All I have is a heart full of all my love to give, and I’d do anything to make you happy. Will you... will you be my girlfriend?”

It was as if the fire that burned brightly in her heart had burned so hot and fast that every bad feeling, every negative thought or psychotic fantasy she had about you had suddenly gone up in smoke. Every single part of Yukako’s consciousness seemed only left to ash. You didn’t want Koichi. She heard that part as you continued to babble on helplessly despite her silence, completely unsure of how to respond as she learned the obsessive thoughts she had about one person had been the thoughts you had for her. You continued to pour out your heart, not giving her one opportunity to speak. Anyone could hear it in the way that you were talking to her that you were on the verge of breaking down into tears. Your face was contorted into embarrassment, from the kiss she could feel the heat of your cheeks radiating on her clammy skin. You were still holding her hands and she felt her whole body vibrate because of your nerves.

“Yuka-... I... Yamagishi?! I... I’m sorry...!” Now your voice was starting to crack when you realized she was immobilized. “I... I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have kissed you... I...”

Tears. Great fountains of tears and bubbles of snot appeared and melted like ice cream down your cheeks, lips and chin. Your voice only got more choppy and your legs started to give. Her silence was deafening. She didn’t even know what she felt anymore and could only just watch as you sank to her knees, still holding her hands and not making a move to wipe your face.

Without thinking, she squeezed your hands.

The shock of her touch made you squeak like a mouse being crushed under a combat boot. Yukako knelt down to the floor with you. One of her perfectly embroidered hankies peeped out of her skirt pocket, and she only let go of one hand to fish it out as she carefully wiped every tear and bubble, wordlessly telling you to blow your nose as she placed the cloth over your face.

A soft, pale hand touched your burning cheeks. Her skin was so clammy and cold, like a compress when you had a fever it helped soothe you into calming down. A hiccup sounded in your chest, making you look small and vulnerable.

You looked her in the eyes. Locked with her. She saw the passion. The love. The devotion and pure worship. Everything she wanted staring her in the face.

Still unsure, but willingly, Yukako leaned into your space. Her lips cushioned yours, begging for another first kiss.

[literaphobe]

mich, beloved, after encouraging u to throw bricks at people I am here to sing sadf praises.

before I totally sing praises i would first like to say that I never liked the car fic that shall not be named and I never will like it. HOWEVER I’ve always liked sadf and always will. so that person who said “it’s gonna be stupid gross car fic pt2.” no it’s not- and I am ur witness. car fic was blatantly sexualized and sadf is cool as fuck. it’s well written, ur characterization is CONSISTENT AND ACCURATE. it. is. wonderful.

anyway, chapter nine. chapter nine gets kisses and kisses and kisses and kisses and kisses. mich, I am kissing ur beautiful big brain. many things I particularly liked about sadf stick in my head, but I think the award for most cool things sticking in my head per chapter is gonna be for chapter nine. i love this. i love it I love it I love it.A A A AAGH I love the ending I love it ok it’s awesome. like. this is what it leads up to yeah? fuckin. sadf!george just refusing to talk about his stuff for so long and then it’s just out there now and it’s like “oh no!” for him and then dreams like. “ok well I liked that ahah.. aha.” Epic. it’s epic what can I say this is like exactly how it should go. oops gnf got jealous and spilled too much and he should probably stop talking but dreams like ok that’s cool that was Epic though and I liked That. and that’s. ok that’s kind of like. OKAY LOOK IM TIRED AND IM BLABBING IT WAS COOL AND IT WAS GOOD AND my brain doesn’t work goodly but godDAMN mich I am kissing u so much for your good choices in writing this UR SO COOLOOL. and the HAND THING. like. they just gotta hold hands yknow. AAAAGH OK the endings so good and ITS NOT EVEN THE WHOLE END YET. ITS THE SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER AND ITS JUST SO COOL. i am that guy who grabs the back of peoples chairs when they’re hype and just like shakes it like wooooooooo !!!!

ok I’m gonna shut up now actually because I’m not very good at putting my brain junk into proper sentences/words sometimes. just know that you are so cool, and sadf is so cool, and I couldn’t ask for anything better :]

NO thank you so much for these sentences 🥺🥺🥺 they mean the absolute world to me and im so so glad u agree!! THIS is how it had to happen… sadf!george in spite of all his agony was TOO COMFORTABLE and on some level while he thought he could never ‘have dream’ completely and continuously he never really conceived that he could lose him LIKE THIS and THIS FAST and it was just a tiny thing but. some people are very jealous in nature and we need that jealousy to kickstart action sometimes… he was a tiny bit too complacent and then he couldn’t hold anything back anymore bc it was all growing in him too all those feelings expanding and getting Worse

[mrkis]

a twlg ask from 🦄anon below the cut!! i had to put it in a separate post bc it was long and i didn't want to clog anyones dash with this!! my response to you is below too!!

So this would be quite a long one and I apologize in advance for the novel I'm going to write. 😅😅

Firstly, I would like to thank you for the update, I almost died when I saw that you will be updating and splitting part 6 into 2 parts. Mind you, I was on the train as I was travelling back home from visiting some friends a few towns over. I was basically about to cry but I was in public and my best friend was with me so I had to wait a couple of hours until I got home and was ready to indulge myself with twlg.

Seeing the events through Jaemin's point of few is so interesting, kinda frustrating but it also makes so much sense. I know and understand that what happened with him and that hag Eunbin took a toll on his mind quite badly. Like we have heard in the previous chapters he was basically obsessed with her so it makes so much sense that he was seeing her stupid face everywhere and I can feel his frustration over it cause he wants her gone from his mind. Its pretty obvious that she hurt so bad he never wants to have anything to do with her, his thoughts on that are pretty clear, but im curious as hell for the next part where we see him with her and how he was feeling during all of it and why he did not push her completely away. I wonder what was going on in his head.

Now, I cant really understand why he would lie to mc that no one was watching them in the hallway when people infact did, but then again I dont think he fully understands himself and why he is doing stuff with her the way that he is and how he feels. That jealously toward Mr. Moon? It was an interesting process to witness.

I knew he was jealous of Yang, but oh man he KNOWS Yang has a thing for mc, its quite obvious and I wonder when will those two erupt in regards to their own feelings toward her.

Jeno asking him if he ever thought of more than fwb and the way Jaemin reacted makes me believe he has, but as the last 2 paragraphs said he is scared of going through another heartbreak and I think this is very much intefering with the way he sees the situation. He is trying too hard to not get his heart involved and broken, but I think he is already too far gone, he is just being in a huge denial as its easier to call mc a distraction. Why else would he panick about them being exclusive? She is his fuck buddy, why should it matter if people know? He wanted them to because he couldnt keep his hands to himself anyway. But I also think he is trying to proof that Eunbin is no longer in his life both to himself and that bitch Mia.

Personally, I feel like its slowly going to down on him how much of a couple he and mc are and how things changed quite quickly, the moment his mind catches up to his heart is the moment he would break, Im just afraid that this will happen once mc lets go of him, cause it will bother him. The way you have pointed out that the way he feels around her is different and something he never felt before with anyone else, how its basically "head empty just her" type of thing. To me that its not something you feel with your fuck buddy, this is a deep emotion and connection. And that last part where it says he doesnt want to fall in love, like honey we dont control that shit it just happens. We dont chose who to love. Just because he doesnt want to involve himself in those type of feels to keep his own heart safe doesnt mean he wont get involved. He brushes all those jealousy feelings aside cause it bothers him to admit what he feels. And its normal, its scary to think of falling back in love when it can be 10 times more intense and it begins as such complicated relationship. I do not trust him when he claims she is just a distraction. He appreciates her. That polaroid moment was adorable and the way he put that picture up so early on? fucking adorable.

I wanted to see that moment after the party when he wakes up and stares at Jeno, I wonder what that was. I also cant wait for the "I appreciate you scene" from his point of view and the spit in her mouth one. I crave to see what he was thinking cause to me it feels like those may be major turning points.

I have so much more to say but this is getting too long so Im just gonna wrap it up. 😅 Again, thank you Cass for the update and I can not wait for the next update. I am so invested in twlg its unhealthy atp😅

-🦄

[ mrkis response ] : omg please don't apologise for sending long types of asks, i seriously enjoy them so much! i'm so unbelievably thankful <3

i'm so happy you found jaemin's pov interesting!! it's been so fun writing it so far and i can't wait to get the next part done to see your reactions. jaemin has definitely built up so many walls and taken on this cold/quiet/mysterious persona because of past events, he really doesn't want anyone to know what he's feeling and he doesn't really want to indulge in any sort of conversation with anyone, so it has been fun writing in his head and showing everyone want type of person he truly is and what his thought process was/is throughout his friends with benefits situation with mc.

him reacting to eunbin coming back is going to be so intense... i asked for opinions in the discord where i should the scene i wrote abt jaemin seeing eunbin for the first time and the response i got is making me so excited. i really can't wait to see what you guys think either.

regarding the "nobody is watching us" when they were, jaemin only lied because he hated seeing mc so uncomfortable and wary. he lied to make her feel better... although, lying abt it wasn't exactly the best thing to do lmao. he had good intentions!! it just didn't come off that way unfortunately :(

with jaemin and yangyang, i can't really say much as this will be spoken abt in six(pt.2) but although jaemin knows yangyang has a thing for mc, in the back of his head, jaemin thinks yangyang only wants mc for one thing and one thing only. remember... yangyang is a fuckboy in this. they know him. i'll leave you with that :p

mc and jaemin have a deep connection, whether they'll admit it or not. mc, i believe, has fully realised their situation and their deep connection which is why she confessed abt liking him in part five... but with jaemin, jaemin is different. so it's going to be interesting to figure out where exactly he wants to stand with mc and if he wants anything more (which so fair, he's admitted to not wanting anything or not wanting to think abt it)

the scene with him staring at jeno after the party i left otu because it wasn't that interesting fkhjs;lk it was just him staring at jeno because he remembered the kiss from the night before LMAO. but the 'i appreciate you scene'... thats gonna be a favourite for sure

tysm for reading and giving me your thoughts and opinions!!! it means the most <3

[numbaoneflaya]

You can count on me to pull up with a thousand of questions sbdhdh. A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ; A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ; A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ; A9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ;

A3.Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

Shawty got that stockholm syndrome in a way. She is…. Sometimes aware of it, though she wouldn't call it that any more. Maybe at first in the basement she was more aware, but now that she can come and go she thinks its a thing of the past. tries not to dwell on it. Kind of in a “well its literally not that bad its kind of fun its kind of romantic were just quirky <3” way, will get mad if someone insists she has stockholm or that the relationship is fucked. Will get enraged and upset on Vincent's behalf, probably cry and yell at you.

A22. Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I intended her to be fairly average, maybe kind of cute. It's generally the way she dresses/acts in public that draws attention, not her looks. I tend to make most of my ocs on the average scale besides a select few.

C5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Good question…. Jillys morals are pretty simple- always be kind and nice, murder and hurting other people is bad, and you shouldnt lie. She sticks to those pretty strictly herself despite the situations she gets put in, often to her own detriment. But she doesn't always put a stop to those behaviors from the people she surrounds herself with, so she's sort of accomplice to bad acts of violence just by not snitching. So somewhat situational? She tries not to think about it.

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Not comfortable! She hadn't seen a lot of it before her early twenties and was always sort of sheltered. dead fish are flushed down the toilet bcs they go to the ocean to live again, right? Thought cows and such all died of old age peacefully before they were made into burgers until she was like… twelve. 💀Won't kill mice and other critters despite her prey drive bcs she would feel too bad. And this is just for animal death, she's much more uncomfortable with human death. Also a thing she tries to ignore.

F3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

God no. She hates small spaces unless she's hiding in them and tiny homes have no room for all the shit she stashes! No room for zoomies, or climbing on the furniture, or wrestling around on the floor. It would be filled with junk within a week.

A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ;

A18. Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He's never had much to be jealous of, as he's never really been over involved in romantic relationships. They were usually mutually beneficial and somewhat clinical in nature. Hes also pretty sure of himself and his value as an asset and lover. If he finds someone who peaks his interest and they become an item though, he might get jealous if he catches them flirting with other people. Hell be peeved at first but know flirtation in business has its value, so to make himself feel better might flirt with someone else while they are nearby. Make a game of it, see who wins.

A23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Appearances are crucial to him and spends a lot of time and money making sure he looks his best. He needs to appear above the rabble and impenetrable, dressing well and having immaculate posture and an air of both grace and otherworldliness.

B9. What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Definitely not one to find fart jokes funny. Very rarely laughs genuinely or full heartedly, he keeps all his expressions of emotion close to his chest. Sharp sardonic wit is appealing to him in the right circumstances, even a jab directed at himself can make him chuckle if it's well formed enough. Irony almost always gets him, even if its dark irony or gallows humor. Bit of a hard nut to crack. Would laugh enough that hed have to cover his mouth with his hand if he were to see Felix fall face first into mud, though. More often than not you can tell he finds something amusing by a gleam in his eyes and a slight squint.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Well he used to have a real moral code :/. Now I mean…. The ends justify the means. By any means necessary. He considers his family's needs first, then the good of the world, then any individual in the world. Has ordered executions of entire families, had babies stolen and sent away, sent armies to certain death knowing full well they would all die, commanded individuals be tortured for information, sacrificed many in what he considers to be a game of chess where he is the player and others are the pawns. He finds senseless violence and savagery to be unforgivable, but if violence has a sense and purpose to employ it, then he will do so.

H2. Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Nirn tends to be a very thoughtful and attentive person in general, just for the wrong reasons lmaoooo. But with a lover? He's going to be utilizing that to show them how much he cares and using his powers for good. Mention you like a certain fabric while shopping one time and then complain your favorite tunic has a wine stain in it several months later, he's going to be taking your measurements for a new one in your preferred material without a moment's notice. Very keen on picking up moods, expressions and tone. Also has a very good memory. He doesn't really think about it but gifts are how he shows his love. Also a great attentive listener.

A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ;

A5. Are they good at handling change in their life?

I would say so, yeah. Shes been used to things constantly changing since she was little and has had little to no control on outside influences. Shes also not one to over think about the past and lament, shes more of a one foot in front of the other, the only time is the present kind of gal. Of course large changes like becoming a warden were a bit more severe, but shes mostly able to think in the present as long as she has immediate problems to deal with.

B9.What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Slapstick is always gonna make her laugh as long as nobody gets seriously hurt, even if its her own ass tripping into a tree. Not a fan of scare pranks, 0/10 recommend trying to scare Thurwen. You will end up with a broken nose at best and an angry elf. Likes puns, but she's the one to groan at them and try and hide the grin spreading across her face. Gallows humor but only if its her in the gallows, otherwise doesn't find it funny at all. If a little kid calls someone a fartcicle she will be tears in the eyes giggling, which is hard when your warden commander and everyone looks toward you to be serious and mature gyshsdhdfsghsd.

C8. Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

She definitely holds herself to moral ideals and is very hard on herself, but has realistic moral expectations for others. She can understand self serving and people only wanting to survive and she will only give people a little bit of shit for it, no one's perfect. But then she expects herself to be perfect and berates herself constantly for not living up to the hero of ferelden warden commander ideals.

D1. How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Atheist ever since her mom died when she was a kid, but now Shes in a weird mixed state ever since the urn of sacred ashes where shes like. fuck the maker, but Andraste is cool I guess. So respects/believes in the power of Andraste while thinking the maker is a piece of shit and the chantry sucks ass. Even she doesnt know what she really believes, but she did see the ghosts of Andrastes disciples and Shartan, used her ashes as healing salve, killed an old god, etc. So shes been in a weird place recently, crisis of faith/non faith pretty continual.

I5. Are they a good cook?

I mean…. She can cook basics. Shes been feeding herself and the alienage kids since she was old enough to walk so she knows how to get protein and make things edible. Does it taste good? Probably not. She didnt see her first spice till she was 17 years old, but she can skin a rabbit in seven seconds.

LA9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

She tries to excuse bad behavior of herself or others a lot, yeah fgdgdsfhdhs. Mostly she doesnt have to make excuses for herself because she can wholeheartedly be like “yeah i fucked up but whatever im sexy and large and awesome and everyone loves me 🙄whatever baby” and when other people fuck up shes pretty sympathetic even though they are not as large nor as sexy. Shes very used to forgiving and excusing herself its totally alien to her when she really fucks up and is suddenly like wait… valkya…. Did bad?? What is this feeling. Shame?? Guilt?? IMPOSSIBLE.

A13. Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

She hates those giant bugs in morrowind and valenwood a whole fucking lot but I wouldnt exactly place it as a phobia. Those huge mosquitoes and haorvers got no respect but she really hates the morrowind bugs ever since they knocked her over and jumped her while she was pants down peeing drunk as hell in the sand :/ never forgave. Never forgot.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

She was raised in a healthy household that tought the basics, prety much “harming others needlessly, stealing, torture, rape, dessecrating the dead, being selfish and not doing right by others, etc etc all basic bad things” are her morals. Her morality is basically treat others how you want to be treated. And if they treat you badly, then have fun beating the shit out of them to show everyone else not to fuck with you. Its a pretty nordic morality in that way. Her morality is also since she was ‘blessed’ with being so large and strong, that she has to also look out for the little guy who cant protect themselves. So If someone treats them how valkya wouldn't want to be treated, then beat the shit out of the person harming them to show them the little guys got backup. Her parents raised her to be a hero and thats p much how she sees herself, which has its benefits and its fuckin problems.

E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

Fucking up Dem and Dariens relationship for sure dude :/ valkya always gonna be sulking over that one. She doesnt regret becoming a vestige, even though it would have made her so much happier not to be because it ended up saving so many people and the world. She regrets not spending more time with Naryu, regrets always having other life saving business she had to run off to, regrets not cherishing the time they had together. Regrets not telling Lyris how she feels, either. Regrets not being able to save as many people as she should have, regrets she wasnt stronger in coldharbor and didnt break out herself. But she tries not to think about it <3

G6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

When she was seven she once spent two months training to hold her breath underwater, because her cousin always held it longer and won the gold bet. She trained for hours almost drowning in the river until she could comfortably hold it for up to three minutes. During the next holiday when they all got together again the competitions were on and they both went under- her cousin won, holding their breath for four more minutes before they decided to come up. This was the first lesson she learned that shocked her world view- you always need to know your opponents capabilities. (after she lost 26 gold in the bets, her mother later had to inform her that her cousin was an argonian.)