#im so sorry all of that happened this sounds like an absolute nightmare

[ebdanon]

(part 2) My dad caught COVID on the plane back. Which meant he couldn't attend the wedding-related "meetings" we planned with the parents. Which made him unbearable. Both sides were trying to make the whole thing as cheap as possible (the parents pay for weddings here)- the cheapest menu, venue, music, everything. I don't remember a lot of things from the planning. But at one point they got so overbearing and trying to undermine everything we just gave up. In our country, the bride's parents buy the wedding ring for her husband, and vice versa. We were so sick of their behavior, that we decided to get ridiculously expensive wedding bands since both sides wanted to show off how much money they had. Because they rushed everything, we ended up married 6 weeks after the proposal. There were about 30 people, all of them mandatory for weddings (there would have been more people if no one was in a rush but not everyone can get a last-minute plane ticket). I managed to get all of one friend to attend, my husband had no friends. Because the parents planned the guest list and we said only the core mandatory people, his parents didn't even ask if he would be inviting any friends. My parents paid for my dresses for the few different official events with the in-laws that tradition demands. My husband's parents (who again, knew about this for a year and a half already, were complaining they were running out of money) got him nothing. Official events include family dinner at my place, and family dinner at his place - only parents and siblings and their partners. Then we did the church ceremony with the 30 people, with a lunch at a restaurant afterward. The actual marriage certificate we got two weeks later on our actual anniversary, and we had lunch after with the 10 people in attendance. The restaurants were shitty both times. Since we lived out of town and were busy with work, our parents had to check which places we could book for the set date. They made a list of the cheapest places in town, and they're all cheap for good reason. Terrible interior, bad service, cheap food, and barely any space. They also made a list for the music, and did the same thing again - listed the cheapest bands which had like three people in them. Thankfully we handled the photographer so the photos were amazing. I worked with a florist for the decoration which made the place a bit nicer, but still pretty shit.

I never wanted a traditional wedding. I just wanted to skip the dumb and outdated traditions, get a marriage certificate, and have a small gathering at a nice venue. Well, we skipped most of the traditions. The traditions I hate include the young unmarried men in the family hiding the bride in her house and only giving her up in exchange for money from the groom and best man. There's shit like dancing on tables, a couple of other "money in exchange for the bride" things, and copious photos of the bride giving gifts to her future in-laws family members. After the wedding, everyone goes back to the groom's house where the bride is supposed to dip her finger in honey. oil? (I forget) and draw crosses on the door to her new home, and then the party continues. My MIL insisted I do that one, my FIL filmed it and sent it to my parents. Because no one went to the groom's house because we weren't doing that part.

I remember one conversation I had with my narcissistic grandma the day before, who insisted we still do all that "giving away the bride for money" in the restaurant itself. This is the same woman who pretended to have a psychotic break a week before the wedding and spent a few days in the hospital. We know she pretended because the doctors told us as much, but they still kept her for "observation" to calm her down. She pretended she didn't recognize anyone or anything, but was magically fine when my uncle called her up.

And then I was married and we spent the rest of the month living with my in-laws (as per tradition) to get all the documents sorted and get the marriage certificate. My parents gave us a huge chunk of money as a wedding gift, and his parents promised us half of the house they own (I have a recent story on this I'll share another time) as the other half would go to their daughter.

Living with them was when I learned how big my MIL's drinking problem was. She would go on these screaming rants about how my parents were master manipulators and planned everything how they wanted it to be, screaming at my husband for being weak-willed and getting fucked over according to her. My husband and I would go over to my parents, and the next day my MIL would be screaming about how we went over to get instructions on how to fuck up everything. It was even worse when she was drunk. We got everything with the documents sorted and got the hell out of dodge as soon as we could to our apartment. And we didn't speak to each other for a month and a half after that. Just trying to decompress and destress from the shitstorm we went through. When we finally started talking to each other again and started to relax, we spent a couple of weeks going over the shit that went down, which was stressful again. Finally, we went back to normal, the stress went away, and we both got incredibly sick. It was like the high adrenaline from the stress was keeping us going until we took a breather and we both crashed. While mine was a chronic flare-up, my husband's was a brand new thing and we spent the next four months going to over 40 doctors to figure out what it was. That's a whole 9 shitty shitty months that were supposed to be incredibly happy. We had tons of plans that we had to put off or completely cancel due to the drama from our families. And when the dust settled, and they tried to reminisce about the "wedding", all I told them was that I was just grateful to be invited. Because none of it was for me. The only things we got to organize were the photographer and the florist. It was like the random small tasks you would give to someone because they have free time and those things aren't too big of a deal so they can't fuck them up too badly. I only have a vague idea of why they were rushing everything - our original plan was to get the certificate and buy people lunch, we'd do the church ceremony and everything else at a later time when venues would be available, which was likely months later. We were planning on moving abroad, so everyone was likely panicking that we would never get married in a church if we didn't do it then and there. But these are just assumptions from throwaway things I've heard since then. Our travel agent actually had the dream little wedding that I had wanted a week after we did. The location, music, decor, menu, hell, even everyone's outfits and the weather, everything was perfect, just how I wanted it to be. I just wanna say I'm happy for her, even if I couldn't, I'm happy someone else got to do that whole idea. And I'm sure it took months of planning which we didn't have for some mysterious reason.

Oh, and as soon as the photos of us were shared online, I started getting phone calls from people asking if I was pregnant because it happened so fast. I started joking that I would start sending people my used tampons to just avoid coming up with an explanation of why the rush happened.

Speaking of pregnancy I just remembered, that as soon as we walked out of the church, my and his parents wished us a happy life and a baby as soon as possible. I laughed and told them that would require some sort of higher power because it was medically impossible at the time, and my dad said "Accidents happen".... Both sets of parents knew I had issues with my hormones that basically make me infertile until they're fixed. And I'm keeping some of them in check with birth control. So even if I stop taking it, I'm still infertile, I just don't get periods without birth control. But sure, accidents happen lmao

That's as much as I could summarize and remember, this happened almost two years ago. I'll be sharing more MIL-specific lore as soon as I can.

can i fist fight your entire family? ill pay for my flight too because holy FUCK??????????

[etoiile]

CLINGY

starring suna rintaro!

synopsis: when suna pushes your hug off of him, it makes an insecurity grow.

notes: first time writing for hq! def very very ooc for him but wtv im working on it

your possibly biggest fear ever was being annoyingly clingy.

your main love language was physical touch, and you had a very clear way of showing your love and affection. any one of your friends could easily say, "yep, they're really clingy," because you were. you'd greet them excitedly with a hug, cuddle with them during movies, and sling an arm over their shoulders when sitting next to each other.

you knew that you were clingy, and it didn't bother you much. no one around you seemed to dislike it and you knew yourself how much you'd like it if someone paid that much attention to you. you felt most loved when you felt seen, and having someone shower you in hugs made you feel that way, so you did it to other people, to show them how special they were to you.

one of the things that came with being clingy, however, was fear. fear that even though it was something you knew you'd appreciate, it was something annoying to others. the last thing you ever wanted was for someone to find you annoying to be around. that sounded like an absolute nightmare.

so, when you surprised rin with a backhug and he stood there, not reciprocating your hug, and then gently shoved you off, telling you he wasn't in a good mood, not to bother him, and to please, "stop being like a fucking mosquito clinging onto him all the time," you could feel your body trembling as you quickly retreated, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

when he later apologized to you, telling you he was sorry for lashing out at you, you accepted his apology, but the insecurity still lingered.

----

suna was in a great mood.

he'd done really well at practice today, they got let out early enough that the sun was still out and shining, and he practically skipped home at the thought of coming home to your arms.

he unlocked the front door and yelled an, "i'm home," as he pulled his shoes off and set his bag down. you came over to greet him and he found his body tingling with excitement, ready to grab onto you and hold you tight.

"welcome home, rin," you smiled warmly at him, but then turned around and went back to your laptop. he stood there, dumbfounded. what just happened?

he followed you suspiciously, wondering what was going on. you always greeted him with a hug. always. why were you being different today? had you simply forgotten? no, it doesnt work like that. you didn't forget, you chose not to. why?

"...is everything ok?" he asked hesitantly. you didn't seem to be in a bad mood, so why were you acting weird?

you looked up at him, confused. "yeah? why, is something wrong?"

"yeah." he replied, plopping down next to you. "with you."

you frowned, your heart beginning to beat faster. first, you had stopped yourself from throwing your arms around him, which you so desperately wanted to do, in order to be less annoying, but there was still something wrong? what did you do? how were you still annoying him?

"...what do you mean?" you asked, trying your best to mask the nervousness in your voice. you really, really, really didn't want to be annoying. you wanted to be someone rin wanted to be around, not someone who pissed him off when he spent time with you. you really did want to work on the things he didn't like, and improve yourself for him. you braced yourself for what he might say next, reminding yourself that you can't cry just because someone brings up an issue about you.

"you didn't give me 'welcome home' hug." he muttered a little sheepishly, rubbing the bag of his neck. he looked up at you, his hazel eyes making your body feel like jelly. "did i do something wrong?"

you could feel your lower lip trembling as you tried to stop it. "..no! no, of course not. i just...thought that after what you...said yesterday, you'd want some space! i know im clingy, so im gonna work on it, ok?" you mustered out, trying to keep a smile on your face.

suna's eyes widened. he'd lashed out at you yesterday, but he'd apologized for it already, so he thought that meant you knew he didn't mean it. plus, you two were people who joked around a lot and spewed random shit all the time. he knew you knew that, so he didn't think it was on your mind and he didn't think you you thought what he said was true, because it wasn't. at all.

though, seeing as how you were struggling to keep it together, and how you hadn't welcomed him home with a hug for the first time since moving in together, he realized his words had cut deeper than he realized.

"hey," he turned to completely face you. "look at me." he gently guided your chin to meet his eyes, as you were apparently very keen on looking everywhere but him, and forced you to look at him.

"what i said last night... i didn't mean it. at all. you know i love your affection, right? i was just in a bad, bad mood yesterday, and 'm real sorry i lashed out at you because of it. i know i might be shit at expressing it right, but i love you and your clingy ass so much, and i'm sorry if it didn't seem that way. i love your touch and affection, really."

and with that, all of the fear came rushing out of you in the form of tears, and you jumped onto rin as you held him tight, your heart soaring in relief when he did the same. embarrassed to be seen, you buried your face in his chest and just sniffled silently.

"...you really mean it?"

"yeah,"

"it's not annoying? 'coz i want you to tell me if it is, and i'll work on it. really."

"it's not,"

"...you're sure?"

"i'm sure."

you then wiped your tears and giggled as you peppered his neck with kisses, laughing more when he scrunched up from the ticklish sensation.

"i love you," you said, stopping your flurry of kisses for a minute.

he gave you a boyish grin that made you melt and ran his hand through your hair. "i love you too, doll."

𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐈𝐈𝐋𝐄 ©𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 please do not copy or repost my work on any other site. interactions appreciated! 🤍

[konigsblog]

he truts through the pathway, his boots thumping against hard concrete, sunshine radiating onto his figire, a smile hidden beneath his mask. the corners of his mouth crinkle, the idea of surprising you after deployment - bringing you close to body, bundled and wrapped in his arms, muttering in your ear about how much he adores and loves you, the family he wants to give you one day.

but as he steps closer, he notices something off. the house is eerily silent, the sounds of the wind whirling behind him can be heard, awakening a gut feeling im him, wretchful and terrorizing.

simon's hand remained on the door handle, the broad and genuine smile replaced with fear and agony, his hand trembling and shaking as he turned the door. he should've expected it; silence was nothing like you, usually there would be loud music echoing from inside the house, the melody of your lovely voice singing along, the kitchen's window open.

but there you sat, a pool of your own blood, crimson liquid drowning and staining you body. he could feel as his heart broke - coldness rushing over it, the warmth you'd created now gone. motionless, limp, lifeless. his dog tags were wrapped around your neck, dropping his bags onto the floor and huddling by your side, tears already falling from his honey brown eyes.

he held you, like he'd planned. yet, his words were not about the future, they were apologies. the guilt of bringing you into his life bloomed like the flowers in the garden that you loved so dearly, he'd brought you into his life, and despite your protests and denying of anything horrid happening, an attempt to wash away his fears, they were right, they always were.

could he ever have a family? did he deserve one? an unanswered question lingers in his mind. his clothed arms covered in your blood, a liquid he was too familiar with, the man that put bullets through people's skulls and left them cold. was this revenge? karma? the light in your adoring eyes was gone, yet his love for you remained.

“oh, love..” he wailed, drowning in his sorrows as tears fell onto your cheek. the house was a mess, stuff scattered everywhere and an obvious sign of forced entry, he could tell you tried to fight, but you were just too weak, and that man was just too much bigger.

simon cradled you in his arms, holding your face close to his chest. please, baby, please.. it was useless, his heart thumping harder and harder against his chest, desperate for any signs of life in you, but it was clear you'd been deceased for a while. did you know this was gonna happen, why did you hide his worries?

his questions were answered in the letter folded in your pocket, a scribbled attempt to tell him your last words despite being miles away from eachother. “i love you, simon, i always have. i never wished for you to see such a sight, i never wanted to confirm your deadly nightmares, all i wanted was to help you, remove the growing stress from you so you could sleep, baby,

it was a matter of time, bound to happen, but im glad i was able to share my last days with the my true love, i'm sorry, simon. i love you, always and forever.”

his face ran cold one last time, you knew it would happen, yet you risked and sacrificed it all just from him. he could've bare to watch any longer, his skull mask had been soaked with his pity, your comfort now gone. just like; the arms wrapped around his figure was missing, the adoring eyes he'd gaze into, the future he'd planned -

your heartbeat, the heart that warmed up to him and welcomed him into your life, that pumped for him, that genuinely wanted him, it was gone.

(sorry this is absolute shite, probably deleting later)

[thatjadedhotmess]

nightmares

pairings/characters: kazuha x gn!reader, thoma x gn!reader, ayato x gn!reader

warnings⚠️: skin contact (lots !), pet names (e.g. love, sweetheart), tw: food (in thoma's),

synopsis: what would they do if they see you having a nightmare.

wc: 1k~

note: hiiii im back after awhile of not posting i hope you didnt miss me too much/j anyways,, ayato's is super long because this piece started bc of him :> likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! <3 you can also check out the other versions of nightmares here !

kaedehara kazuha (楓原万葉)

☁︎︎ hums a tune to soothe you.

☁︎︎ he was writing his poems that night on the ship while you slept soundly beside him

☁︎︎ there was a little celebration on the boat that evening to wish one of the Crux’s members a happy birthday

☁︎︎ you and kazuha had headed back to your room after helping out with the cleanup of the ship and it was already about 1 am when you guys officially finished.

☁︎︎ soon after changing out into a set of cleaner clothes; you sunk into the mattress, letting the sound of the waves and rocking of the boat lull your exhausted body to sleep.

☁︎︎ kazuha sat cross-legged beside your sleeping form. He took his book out as well as a pencil, penning down his thoughts as he tried to string them into a poem.

☁︎︎ he instantly realised you were having a nightmare when your eyebrows because knitted and a slight grunt escaped your lips; the peace on your face having been disrupted.

☁︎︎ he shifted himself, moving even nearer to you so that he could stroke your hair, brushing a thumb soothingly across your forehead as he started to hum a tune.

☁︎︎ it instantly soothed your mind, even though you weren't conscious kazuha could still tell, the way your facial features started to relax when he started to hum and the way you curled up and snuggled into his side were all good signs that your nightmares were finally starting to dissipate.

☁︎︎ after he made sure that you were in a better state, he snuggled up behind you, cradling your body as he too, allowed himself to fall asleep to the sound of the ocean.

thoma (托馬)

☁︎︎ he warms a glass of milk for you.

☁︎︎ it had been an absolutely amazing day with the Iradori festival taking place, getting to spend time together with ayaka and ayato and eating all the delicious festive goodies while watching the fireworks.

☁︎︎ you and thoma pretty much fell asleep immediately after reaching the Kamisato estate, plopping down onto the futons in your share room after finishing up your respective tasks and a quick hot shower.

☁︎︎ he tucked you into his chest, an arm around your shoulders and his chin resting atop your head.

☁︎︎ it was maybe 2 am? 3 am? When he realised you were having a bad dream. This had never happened before but it was unlike you to thrash in your sleep.

☁︎︎ he tapped you awake. It took less than a minute before you woke up, startled.

☁︎︎ “are you ok love?” he is concerned, to say the least, having never seen you have a nightmare scared his poor soul out of his body. “I am, sorry for waking you up,” you said, slightly embarrassed that you had woken thoma up from the much-needed sleep.

☁︎︎ “it’s alright, really. I think some warm milk would help. wanna go with me to the kitchen to grab some?” he asked.

☁︎︎ the idea seemed nice, so you nod your head before you got pulled to the kitchen, trailing right behind him.

☁︎︎ he quickly got to work. heating a pot up with enough milk for two first, moving on to grab two mugs, adding some honey into them before he waited for the steam to appear on top of the pot.

☁︎︎ “back in mondstadt, whenever I had nightmares as a kid, my mother would make this for me and tell me a bedtime story. worked like a charm because the thing I knew, daylight had broken and a new day had begun.” he chuckled, the milk starting to steam just as he finished his story.

☁︎︎ and he was quite right. After leading you back to the room, thoma handed you the warm cup of sweetened milk and you fell asleep like, five minutes after finishing the drink.

☁︎︎ “good night, y/n. don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

kamisato ayato (神里绫人)

☁︎︎ massages your head until you fall back asleep

☁︎︎ ayato is a busy man. As the Yashiro commissioner and head of the kamisato clan, he never has much time outside of sitting at his desk and filling in paperwork.

☁︎︎ he usually's up by the crack of dawn and off with Thoma to run the day’s errands before you're awake but sleeps at around 1 am because there's too much work to finish:( (poor him)

☁︎︎ he's well aware of the bad dreams you have, having seen little you wake up in the midnight of night, hair a mess as you tried to compose yourself before he saw your state so as to not worry him (this usually doesn't happen because he hears the thumping of the blanket against the floor and makes a run towards your share bedroom)

☁︎︎ he turns his attention away from his papers, hearing the familiar sound of his study room door sliding open only to see you clad in an old t-shirt of his; one that dropped below your knees

☁︎︎ “what’s wrong sweetheart? A bad dream?” he asks concern evident in his voice as he sees you nod. Turning his chair away from the desk, he stretches his arms out, inviting you to stay with him while he did his work.

☁︎︎ you shuffle towards him, climbing onto his lap and putting your arms around him, before nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck, letting yourself melt into him.

☁︎︎ “how’s the work ‘yato” you asked groggily tilting your head to the side so your voice wasn't muffled. He chuckles, even though you were exhausted from the day's work and the bad dream you had you still found it in you to start a conversation with him.

☁︎︎ “it was alright. went around Ritou with thoma to settle some matters but that's about it dear.” he touches your head, letting his fingers massage your scalp, feeling you sink deeper and deeper into his hold, until he feels you slump completely, a sign that you've fallen asleep.

☁︎︎ “sweet dreams my love.” he whispers, tilting his head to give you a kiss before turning his attention back to his paperwork.

[fatuismooches]

SMOOOOCHESSS!!!!! o(≧▽≦)o !

I hope you’re doing amazing n having an absolutely wonderful day n summer chu chu!

Another one of your anons already gave light to this but remember how you said that Dottore would’ve most likely put his fragile lover in a comatose state but with an endless happy dream until they were to wake up? Well, I’d like to add on it a tiny bit:

Many years had gone by, but in the dream it was only a few weeks. But of course you didn’t know that time moved differently, nor did you really realize it was all a dream really. While sure you were confused why you woke up in your dorm with Dottore forcefully taking off your blankets and reprimanding you that you’ll be “late for class”. Was you being sick this whole time just a nightmare? Did Dottore never actually become the 2nd Fatui Harbinger? It made your brain fuzzy for most of that week as you tried to act normal. But eventually it soon slipped your mind, and now you’re here out in the forest with Dottore researching some ruin machine.

As Dottore continued his research however, you decided you wanted to wander and explore the forest. He told you not to stray too far, and you nodded as you freely looked around. You easily get lost in the beautiful greenery and pretty flowers the forest provided. Or the small creatures of the forest that would wander in it.

But as you continued your walk, you suddenly bump into a wall. And yet, there wasn’t a wall? You could still see the rest of the forest, yet you couldn’t cross over. You gently placed your hand against it, and nothing happened. What’s going on? Are you dreaming? No, are you dead?!

Dottore’s voice suddenly breaks your trail of thought as you walk back to the direction of his voice. But before leaving, you turn back one more time. Unsure as to what’s going on…

Days pass and your mind has been too preoccupied that the only thing you can think of is that encounter with that weird occurrence that happened in the forest. Dottore had quickly noticed your state of stress that night when you both had returned to your dorm, but you quickly lied and said that you simply got scared by some animal in the forest.

So one day while Dottore was out in the desert, you decided to visit the forest again. Same spot, and everything, and this time there was a crack in the middle of the forest? It seemed almost like a portal, yet it was just an endless void. But should you really? What if you died? No wait, what if you’re already dead? Agh this is too complicated for your small brain!

With a shaky sigh you decided to put your hand through it, and nothing happens! Maybe it isn’t as scary as you thought it would be…? You decide you’ll try to go in, and as one of your feet goes in, you realize there’s no ground-

But before you can realize you’re already falling in the endless void. Terrified as to what is going on. Will you just keep falling forever?!

But as you continue to fall, your body suddenly starts to become weaker and tired. Your ears start to ring and you can hear the sounds of machines beeping and buzzing. You eventually close your eyes…

When you wake up, you feel exhausted and sick, you open your eyes and see- huh?! Dottore? Wait no, why is there three Dottore’s at your bedside looking at you curiously?! Are you imagining things? What is going on!

Hehe I hope you enjoy this my little cutie pie!!! I had quite a bit of fun writing this, I’m sorry if my writings are sometimes too long or if my English/grammar is bad I usually just write these whenever an idea gets in my head or I get inspired! And thank you to that wonderful anon for giving that amazing idea abt the dream mwa mwa! Im sorry if they take any offense to me adding on I don’t mean any disrespect I just couldn’t help it since it was just such a wonderful idea >< !! I give you lots of kissies and huggies I luv luv luv you!!! Big kiss!!! ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ

🎐 ANON FEEDING US ONCE AGAIN OMFG😭😭🛐🛐🧎‍♀️ IM EATING THIS UP SO MUCH AHHHHHH

Waking back up in the Akademiya was something you never thought you’d experience again. Your illness had assured your removal from the institution, so when you felt the familiar sun pour onto your face, you were understandably highly confused, as the last thing you remember was being so sick you could barely leave bed. But it seemed like that may have been just made up on your part, as Zandik showed no sign of remembering what you did. So while you did have some suspicions, you couldn’t help but put them to the back of your mind. After all, who would complain of an ideal life of happiness, with no sickness or suffering?

Going out to explore with Zandik again really felt like a dream though. Sometimes you helped him dissect random machines you found lying around, or collected samples for class, or just walked around when you got bored (because even you couldn’t handle all that science sometimes.) Though, walking smack into an… invisible wall was not part of your plans. It was shocking - you could clearly see the landscape ahead of you but when you walked… bam! You could walk no further. You tried not to take it into consideration, you tried deluding yourself into thinking it was simply tiredness. Just ignore it, you tried to tell yourself. You were happy here, happy you insisted. But no matter how to tried to remove the mysterious wall from your mind you could not get it out. 

You thought being by his side would be enough, but you needed to see what was on the other side. Because you feared that this was all too good to be true. And you were right.

Blearily, you opened your eyes and your mind was fuzzy, barely comprehending your surroundings. The first thing you noticed was the thump-thump of your head, the numbing pain slowly bringing you back to your senses. Blinking your eyes more and more, you could make out the blinding lights and also the figures hovering over you, which immediately sent your heart rate up. Who wouldn’t be scared to wake up with people just watching you. Did you get kidnapped or something?!

And then you realized that one of the persons was Zandik, and you instantly relaxed. Your beloved was here. You’d be fine. Though he looked a bit different from what you remembered. But when you looked to the next person, your heart rate shot through the roof again. It was, quite literally, a damn clone of your lover. And the other one was too! It had seemed like the three Zandiks did not expect you to be looking at them either because you could see their mouths ajar, surprise on their face.

You fainted on the spot, and the lab bursted into chaos.

I LOVEEEEE YOUR IDEAS SO MUCH ?!!! ITS SO *CHEFS KISS* I WANT TO EAT YOUR WRITING AS WELL. IM HOLDING YOUR WORDS SO DEARLY I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE DOTTORE *cries* I truly always loved the idea of fragile! reader waking up one day to a bunch of clones swarming their room and they’re like ?? wtf who are y’all..?? And at first they’re a bit fidgety and nervous around the clones because I mean who wouldn’t be a bit jarred at having a dozen or so copies of your lover? But you notice how some of them follow you around like puppies and you’d be a fool to not notice how infatuated they are with you! I miss the clones sm 😭 And like,, I can imagine the angst after you woke up from the dream?? And Zandik having to explain what he did to you in order to keep you alive,, and the mood gets heavy but all you can do is give him a hug and thank him for letting you experience such a beautiful dream. But all you want to do is be with him in reality, even if it hurts for you. And although he wants to refute you, because he doesn’t know what he’ll do when he sees you struggling every day, he can’t deny your wishes. 

BIG KISS AND HUGS FOR YOU TOO 🎐 ANON 💖💖💖💖💖💖 LUV LUV LUV U MORE!!

[ohbo-ohno]

most of my childhood is repressed but I think my CNC/noncon kink awakening was when I went into a Minecraft app for sharing custom skins (it was called skinseed) and people were writing absolutely abysmal rape fantasies in the descriptions of certain skins. People demarcated the skins with stories from normal skins by making the skins with stories appear as a pixel art of a book, which was honestly pretty creative. It was genuinely fucked stuff, and I couldn’t have been more than 10 at the time, so it gave me some very skewed ideas about sex for a long time. Then when I got onto Wattpad I actually learned some stuff because somehow Wattpad smut was more accurate than those Skinseed nightmares lmao. Honestly I’ve always been into being restrained or in perilous situations (I always wanted to be the damsel in distress during playground games, and I would bait my playmates into ‘capturing’ me), but after the skinseed stuff I started thinking I was fundamentally broken or wrong for wanting such a horrible thing to happen to me. It wasn’t until I learned what CNC was that I realized that I’m not actually a horrible person for being kinky. So yeah that’s my kinky awakening, 0/10 would not fucking recommend lmao

~🦋

this is from FOREVER ago im so sorry lol but also REAL AS HELL!!! whenever i played pretend as a kid i alwayssss either wanted to be a a dog or, like, a character who everyone was mean to all the time 💀 it's no wonder what i ended up liking once i grew up lmao

i've got a kinda similar thing but with people always being like "cnc is okay because it's a way for victims to work through their trauma!" since i've got exactly 0 trauma lmao. when i was younger i always felt like maybe i was intruding on a space that wasn't meant for me, but then i got past it. there's literally nothing wrong with enjoying dark content Just Cause lol, and while it's great that some people work through their trama with it, i hate that so many people seem to think ONLY people with trauma are into darker/heavier kinks. makes it sound like "if you haven't been SA'd, you can't like this" and that's just... dumb

[thewertsearch]

TA: some crazy technology AA dug out of some ruins.

It looks like both of the ‘apocalypse’ handles are part of the Sburb distribution circle! 

Of all the theoryposts I made, I really didn’t expect ‘let’s extrapolate from the troll usernames’ to pay the most dividends, but here we are. What this is telling me is that no, these usernames aren’t arbitrary, and yes, they are all packed with foreshadowing, and I need to be paying close attention. 

TA: if you heard what i heard every night i mean WOW FUCK. CG: NO LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR WEIRD MUTANT BRAIN. CG: AND DON'T SCAN MINE OR WHATEVER, IT'S OFF LIMITS YOU DOUCHE. TA: i told you like a billion times i cant do that you nubslurping fuckpod.

It seems TA’s blood-and-carnage dreams are worse than they’re supposed to be. Karkat seems to be under the impression that he’s psychic, and we’ve heard this one before. 

There’s a good chance that TA is awake on Prospit - or Derse. If dream selves express your subconscious feelings, how do they react to a species wracked by primal nightmares?

CG: WHY ARE YOU TWO UP TO THIS SECRET STUFF. CG: WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ME ANYTHING ABOUT THIS? TA: KK im sorry but really its kind of a private matter between me and her and id appreciate it if that was respected.

We’ve also seen a Player getting evasive like this before. If TA has a source like Jade’s, he knows that he can’t share his information until the loops he’s setting up have closed. 

CG: WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT, THIS ACT THAT YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU'RE A HOTSHOT, YOU KNOW YOU HATE YOURSELF. TA: nobody hates himself more than you idiot. CG: YEAH WELL I HATE YOU WAY MORE THAN I HATE MYSELF, AND THAT'S FUCKING SAYING SOMETHING. CG: IN FACT I HATE YOU MORE THAN I HATE MYSELF AND YOU HATE YOURSELF AND YOU HATE ME COMBINED. TA: oh fuck that noise in every leaking orifice its got you know i hate the combined product of you and myself more than you could ever begin two hate me and myself and you and yourself on your worst day so FUCKING DEAL WITH IT.

Yo, what the fuck is happening!

It’s not just Karkat who’s screaming about how he hates his friends - TA is getting in on the action, too.  I’ve seen enough of this dynamic  that I’m starting to think it’s cultural - the trolls, on some level, are being taught to hate.

Just what sort of planet is this?

TA: im setting up two teams. TA: like two separate competing teams so that theres a better chance of at least one group winning. TA: and also i guess two see which one can win faster.

Wait, what the fuck is actually happening.

I understand why TA would want to get his friends into the Medium - it’s the only way to save their lives. But he’s looking farther ahead here - it almost sounds like he knows what awaits them at the end of the game. Sburb isn’t just an escape hatch for him - it’s something he sees value in winning.

Absolutely nothing so far has indicated that Sburb will help you resurrect your planet - indeed, the game is quite insistent that it won’t help you do that. What does TA think is going to happen when they win?

[lunagojo]

I HAD SOME ANGSTY SWEET THOUGHTS SO HERE YOU ALL GO IF I HAVE TO SUFFER SO DO YOU

(Spoilers ahead, pls do not read if you are not up to date with JJK manga!!!)

notes: this is tooth rotting and sad and cringey im sorry but i am not ready for the new season of JJK

Ok but imagine like when the Shibuya Incident happens, Satoru texts you beforehand like normal:

Toru: I'm heading over there rn

Y/N: Ok be safe pls <3

Toru: Dont worry, im the best remember? ;)

Y/N: Toru.

Toru: It'll all be fine I promise

Toru: Be home before you know it sugarbutt <3 wuv youuuuuuuuuu <3333

And that's the last you hear from him. Of course when the others fill you in on what happened, you're appalled, of course, and heartbroken, unsure of what to do. Why on earth did he have to go and get himself caught like that?!

Of course, you knew that it was 'Geto' who had done it and used Gojo's emotions against him. You begged the others, hoping that there was something that could be done to help free him but there was nothing anybody could do. He was gone.

Though when Satoru does somehow get out (Gege-san pls ik you hate him but pls...i will cry) the first thing he does is come and find you. You're all he could think about when he was trapped, all he could worry about. He was terrified that something could have happened to you in the span of time that he was gone. Or what if you had moved on from him? He couldn't blame you, of course, if you did, but it did send a pang through his chest.

When you two finally reunite you just stare at him, eyes wide, stunned into absolute silence. It feels like a dream, or perhaps a nightmare, some cruel joke that the universe was throwing at you. You stand there, frozen, eyes locked with his as he slowly approaches you.

"...Y/n--"

"...No. I don't...I don't wanna hear it." You reply, voice cracking dangerously.

He lets out a heavy sigh and smooths a hand over his pale hair. "...I know that there's really nothing I can say. I just...I'm sorry, Y/n. I was careless and--"

He's cut off by the sound of your sobs. Dismayed, he quickly goes to you and wraps you in his arms. After a moment of fighting him, you relent and burrow into him, shoulders shaking as you weep.

"Every single second I was in there I thought of nothing but you." He admits quietly. He's usually so energetic and silly, so to hear this tone of voice from him is jarring. But God, does it feel good to even hear him again.

"Don't...don't do that to me again." You sniffle, clinging tightly to him. "Please. Don't leave again."

Satoru presses his lips to the crown of your head, and you can feel his mouth perking into a small smile. He's home, and he knows it, despite how surreal it feels at the moment.

"Never again."

[storiumemporium]

At The Mercy of Pain

Kas!Eddie Munson/Fem!Reader

Chapter 1 — Where Hell Met Home

Series Summary — A return from death, a victory turned sour. The man you loved turned against you, destroying you in ways unmatched and indescribable. Now? Now he is free, but there are too many broken pieces.

Do Not have late night conversations with friends that love angst as much as you do. You will create horrible little monsters with them.

This is going to be an out-of-order series recounting the tales of Eddie and the Reader recovering from trauma, falling back in love, and learning to hope and be happy again.

I dedicate this fic to my bb @basichextechml who is not only incredibly based and chadpilled but also shamelessly feeds into my angst addiction and helped beta this for me 😭

P.S. There was a request for Eddie to be wearing a frog headband but unfortunately the costume department didn't have enough budget for it.

Series Tags — DARK!FIC, dd;dne, graphic depictions of violence, gore, trauma, abuse, PTSD, nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety and depression, suicidal ideation, depictions of disability, fluff, smut, hurt/comfort, whump, recovery fic, hospitals, forced cannibalism

Chapter Word Count — 3.1k

Chapter Tags — Graphic depictions of violence, gore, whump, there's literally no build up it's just going apeshit from the start, i'd say im sorry but i'm not

Tink. Tink tink.

It’s the first thing that greets Eddie’s ringing ears. It’s the sound of the bathroom lights.

What..?

Everything is… distant. Hazy. His senses come back to him piece by piece, feeling like he’s had something slipped into his drink- he has to remind himself to breathe. In, hold, out, hold, in, hold, out. The smell of something metallic is getting stronger, and he peels his eyes like grit away from the mildewy ceiling to investigate.

Red- so much red.

He shoots up and his head screams in protest, but he ignores it in favor of the way his heart is thundering so hard it makes him dizzy. Why is there blood? What happened? Why can’t he remember—?

The kitchen.

Singing, laughing, “Eddie, stop it! You’re gonna eat ‘em all before I can even finish!”

You’re smiling, corners of your eyes crinkling, he’s smiling back, his heart is so light-

The memory stops, abrupt, black. What happened?

He manages to stumble onto his feet and groans, his arm has gone numb since he last was awake, probably from the way he’d slept on it. The door swings open with a whine, and he’s introduced to absolute chaos.

He can see broken furniture and glass across the ground before he even steps out from the bathroom, the delicate crunch like gunfire in the ghostly silent trailer. But it’s not completely silent, he can make out desperate, shaking breaths. These ragged intakes like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the atmosphere.

He turns around the corner, and he’s nearly startled off his feet by a wail.

Yours.

It scares him so fucking bad he practically runs into the wall behind him, adrenaline dialed to 11 and feeling like- for a split second- Chrissy was happening all over again.

His eyes rove wildly until they land on you, you’re in the kitchen, down on the floor and backed into the corner and the moment your frightened eyes set upon him you’re trying to force yourself as tightly as possible into the cabinets, like you could push yourself straight through the wood and walls and end up outside. As far from him as possible.

Clenched brutally tightly within your hand is a knife, a large chef’s knife you’d been using to cut up- he can’t remember, and frankly, it doesn’t fucking matter right now. The thing is bloody, you’re bloody. And you’re sobbing and look fucking terrified of him, eyes all big and pupils tiny, you’re holding it out at him, grip so tight the knuckles have turned icy, shaking so hard it’s practically useless.

His hands have come up placatingly, mouth dropped open and heart thumping aggressively, his own breathing becomes deeper, harder.

“Baby… Baby-girl… What happened, sweetheart- what’s wrong-” He’s looking around the place, looking for the threat, looking for what did this to you- and you respond with a moan so guttural, so harrowing that it feels like a kick to Eddie’s teeth. It rips the breath out of him with icy hooks.

“Please stop please stop- please please…” You’re whispering to yourself, he can hear your skin against the acrylic handle as you squeeze it even tighter. “Just- Just- stay over there- stay-!”

Your voice is shaking as it rises, you’re so scared and Eddie can feel tears flood his eyes. What happened? I don’t understand.

“Baby-” One step forward.

You shriek and he flattens against the wall, eyes blown out wide like saucers, his fingers splay out wider, pleading. “Stay! Stay over there! Don’t- don’t fucking come any closer!”

“Okay, okay! O-okay! I’ll stay here..! I’m not gonna hurt you..!” His own voice has risen a few octaves, everything is ringing and the world is beginning to swim- he might be having a panic attack.

“Just- please baby- what the fuck is happening? You’re- you’re- you’re kinda scaring the fucking piss out of me right now.” The end of that sentence is hissed, and his fingers clench into tight fists. He wants to get on his knees and beg.

You’re not just afraid of him, you’re positively sobbing, face contorted with agony. The first hot tears start burning down his face and he finds himself asking a question that makes him want to vomit.

What did I do?

“You- you- stop lying! Stop- stop talking with his voice- stop it stop it-!” You clamp your free hand over your ear, trying to block out as much of Eddie as possible, but you won’t blink and you won’t look away.

He goes mute, because everything about him is causing you such distress, but the tears are starting to come down harder because he’s- he’s scared and he’s frustrated and he’s hurting for you. He wants to fix this, make it stop, but how can he do that when he doesn’t even know what this is?

So… he decides to try and puzzle it out.

“Okay… okay… we- we were cooking? We were in the kitchen..? Right? Right. I- I was eating- something- you were getting onto me about it because I was gonna spoil dinner like always…” His head shakes, eyes darting around like he was reading an invisible ledger, something phantom thing that’s recorded his every move for him.

You let out a shaky exhale, watching the way he clamors for an answer, and in the fog of terror and pain- your neck your neck your neck- your grip on the blade lessens. “…Eddie..?”

He lets out a hard exhale through his nose, wet and unpleasant but he pays it no mind. “Baby.” He pleads.

The blade drops from your hand.

There’s a moment of numb silence, just staring, and then you fully break into hysterics, balling up to sob so hard your shoulders flex and bow with your animalistic breaths.

He takes one step, then another. You’re not reacting, so he slips into the kitchen and kneels in front of you, gently grabbing you to pull you into his arms. You’re limp, you don’t fight, and he cradles you and rocks you while you wail into his shirt.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… What can I do? How can I help?”

You shake your head weakly as you try to choke down your emotions, pulling away to look at him- and that’s when he sees it. Your neck.

It’s a handprint, and it’s clearly his, and it’s dark. His grip so strong it left a near perfect mark right around your delicate throat.

“Oh… oh my God… Sweetheart- did I-?”

You tear up again, nodding, and you’re starting to speak but…

But…

The world turns to an oil slick, that rainbow film that covers everything, the world is melting- drifting- you’re looking at him, and the fear is coming back to you. You slip out from his hands and he reaches for you- but it’s not comforting, nor is it pleading- he can feel malice in his body as he tries to grab you, watching you slip away.

There’s an errant thought that isn’t his; her bones will sound so musical when they break.

Why- why would he want- what—

For Eddie, this is the merciful end of the memory.

For you? The nightmare is just beginning.

You’re trying to break for the bedroom when he stands with mechanical fluidity, turning at the waist to follow you with a blank face and hollow eyes, his stride is unnatural, predatory, somehow he manages to make an absolute void seem eager, anticipatory.

You’re almost to the door when something explodes next to your head- belatedly, you recognize it as a wooden chair reduced to splinters- and it sends you to the floor hard enough to knock your nose against the ground, it hurts, but Eddie’s hand grabs your ankle with the force of a hydraulic press and all notion of pain goes out the window in favor of survival instinct.

Your hands grip wildly for anything- anything you could use, anything that might- might level the playing field, because there was no getting an edge against him. You could hear his grip splinter the wood of the bathroom doorframe to your left. Your hand finds purchase on something; a framed picture of you, Wayne, and Eddie. With a desperate exhale you smash it into his head. The glass cuts up his face, and you suspect it’s more that he’s surprised than actually affected when he drops your throbbing leg.

You scramble like a frightened animal the rest of the way down the hall into your shared bedroom, slamming the door and throwing everything you’re strong enough to shove in front of it. Chairs and nightstands (your fingernails leave crescents in the cheap laminate) and even the mattress. It’s deafeningly silent when you turn your back to the door, picking up the receiver and frantically slamming the keys to the only number that comes to your mind.

“Pick up pick up pick up please please—!” It only rings twice, and then Steve’s tired voice crackles through on the other end.

“Hey..?” He doesn’t get further than that.

“Please please please,” You sob, voice catching on the last word, sounding on the verge of retching from sheer distress. “Steve please-” you’re hysterical, words coming out screechy and desperate, spit and snot spewing down your face with abandon.

There’s an earth-shattering sound in the background, and the line stays up long enough for Steve to hear you scream Eddie’s name.

Everything is ringing, a siren in the distant fog of his mind, and Eddie’s skull feels like it’s been clamped into a vice as he wades through his consciousness and toward that beckoning sound. The noises bloom like a flower, slowly punching through the pervasive whine that cradles him, it turns from a nonsensical rumbling to something he vaguely recognizes as speech. The throbbing he felt through his body clarifies itself to be the thunderous drum of footsteps. Voices… his mind catches on that. So many voices… why?

“What do we do!? Steve-!?” Robin?

“Fuck- we’ve- we’ve gotta get her to the hospital!” Steve.

“What about him!?”

“He’ll be fine! Leave him here- she’s going to die.” Nancy..?

His eyes feel like they’ve been anchored to his cheekbones when they open, the world slowly coming to clarity and light.

He wishes it wouldn’t.

The first thing that touches his vision is the sight of the entire trailer wrecked, there are holes and scratches in the walls, and dust and detritus comes off the ceiling, leaving dusty white smatterings across the… wet floor? It’s smeary and crimson and his heart lurches into his throat, rattling desperately with the search to remember. The hats and mugs that usually line the shelves and nails now decorate the ground like snow, some reduced to threads and shards. Beyond the frantic talking he can hear some disgusting bubbling noise, rhythmic and mucousy in a way that makes him queasy.

Everything is undercut by this feathering, stinging pain all across his back and arms- and particularly across his face. It feels as if he’s somehow acquired thousands of papercuts, and when he looks down at himself, his hands, it almost seems like that’s exactly what’s happened. But no, he recognizes marks like those- they’re from fingernails. His own nails fare no better, something trapped sticky and unpleasant in clumps beneath each of the chewed points.

(Later, in the bathroom, he’d come to recognize it as your skin.)

Brown eyes rove wildly, and then slam into a wall. You.

You’re on the couch, you’re in Robin’s arms- but not in the sweet friendly way of the past- head in her lap, laughing and smiling up at her as she rants about Steve’s latest antics and ‘how can boys be so- stupid?’ and you look at him, soft and loving as you say ‘I don’t know.’

No, she’s cradling you with tears down her face, redness so deep and blotchy she looks sunburnt by grief and horror.

Oh my God.

Robin is rocking you, whispering gentle assurances that she’s not sure you can actually hear, your head turned awkwardly to the side where your eyes burn straight through his soul.

One of your eyes (crinkled at the corners, so pretty in the early morning light. “G’mornin’ sleepyhead.”) is no longer entirely within it’s socket, the delicate vessels burst and flooding crimson to the point he can no longer discern where your pupil and iris begin or end. It’s sticking out grotesquely far from your face, which has swollen massively and taken on any number of frightening colors; black, green, blue and purple.

Your skull- it’s- it’s- it’s wrong. Dented and misshapen in a trail that connects your very broken eye socket (he can see the knots where parts of your bone are scraping against the inside of the wounded skin) to the now slightly concave side of your head, blood spewing from the bludgeoned wounds, a viscous river down your face, framing your eye and dripping off your smashed nose. Your gaze is glassy and wet, tears spilt loosely from a vacant expression.

There’s a massive gash in your face, it runs from the outer edge of your destroyed eye all the way down to the corner of your mouth in some vicious, deep crescent shape. The cut is so deep and wide that he can make out the muscle underneath, and it’s completely bisected your upper lip, your reddened and chipped teeth showing through where the skin and flesh doesn’t meet anymore.

Your neck is just black. Vaguely, Eddie remembers something about a handprint.

Your limbs are ruined. A horrible mimicry- no- an escalation of Chrissy. Your arms and legs are broken in multiple places, the skin of your forearms is bubbling and covered in pus and discolored, and Eddie can vaguely remember that you were boiling something earlier. Your right hand and all five fingers have been completely crushed, not one of them pointing in the same direction and your feet are angled unnaturally, the legs having been wrenched from their sockets and twisted around in all manner of ways before the bones finally shattered like rotten wood. He can see it, the break in one of your calves has completely stabbed through, horribly white and jagged and weeping blood, skin and chunks of flesh are caught on the splinters. From beneath your thin flowy shirt, he can see something else protruding awkwardly- it doesn’t take a genius to piece together that it’s your broken rib piercing straight out of you.

And as Robin gently sets you on the ground, drool, blood and teeth spew out from your crooked mouth.

Suddenly, Eddie understands that awful noise that punctuates the air.

It’s you. Trying to breathe.

Wheeze, gurgle. Wheeze, gurgle. Wheeze, gurgle.

You sound like you’re choking, drowning in your own fluids. Your eyes are still wide open as your head rests against the wood, staring emptily. That awful noise maintains, unrelenting.

Eddie twists in his chair and vomits all across the floor.

It’s pure stomach acid, but enclosed within the burning liquid are long, stringy tendrils. They’re writhing around, thrashing like dying flatworms, before stilling and beginning to dissolve away.

Eddie knows he should be concerned, should focus on that, but his eyes are back on you again, tears spilling wildly down his face.

Nancy and Steve have come to surround you with Robin, and he watches with heavy, tingling eyes as they begin to peel back your clothes. They’re already bloodied, but now he can see they’re in tatters, torn like an animal had gotten to you. As the garments are discarded, more of you is revealed to him, and Eddie is unable to process how he feels any longer.

Massive lacerations up your body, scratches so deep they’re bleeding- purple black blue purple black- Eddie can’t find a single patch of skin that isn’t bruised, that remains your same healthy natural color. He can see- chunks missing from your body. Not just the breaks, no, but actual entire parts of your fat and flesh have been torn free. Some bitten off.

There are boot prints across your belly and stomach, against your ribs. Nearly perfect welts. You could identify the exact pair of shoes he was wearing using them.

Almost worse than the damage is the way you move, or rather, aren’t moving. The way you’re laid out can’t be comfortable, your back and neck are contorted in ways he’s never seen a human rest before, and your mouth- your jaw-

You look like a fish out of water, gaping over and over and over again, twitching but the appendage isn’t moving right, because your jaw is broken just like the rest of you, crooked and he can see your gums where the rest of your teeth used to be, the bloody holes reflecting like ruby in the dim trailer light.

Your breaths are hiccupping, tiny, and Eddie can’t- he can’t-

“She’s- she’s choking- you’ve gotta- you-”

“I think you’ve done enough, Eddie.” Comes Nancy’s voice, scathing and glacial cold as she slams open the front door of Eddie’s ruined trailer, shouting at unseen figures to look away. Of course the kids would have come, too.

And then Steve is lifting you and you sob and it’s the first time you’ve actually reacted to something. Though it means you’re aware, that you aren’t braindead. Eddie finds no relief in this. It meant you were feeling everything.

Eddie’s chin drops to his chest as he cries, shaking so hard the chains tied around him rattle, wracked by hysterical grief and shame and horror and confusion. Why is he bound to the chair? What happened? Why can’t he remember anything? Why are they looking at him like that? Are you going to be okay?

Robin spares him a glance, equal parts guilt and fear in her bloodshot eyes, and then they’re all taking off out the door.

Eddie can hear the car peel away.

He’s stuck. Trapped. Confused. Angry. Scared. Alone.

What happened?

What did he do?

Oh God... What did he do?

[shai-manahan]

OK OK OK CALM DOWN CALM DOWN THIS IS NOT AM EMERGENCY BUT I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND IF LIKE- ????? THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE THINGS IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND OMG THAT NIGHTMARE SCENE IS GIVING ME NIGHTMARES THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT SO I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU THAT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR WORK AND HOW GLAD IM THAT YOU DECIDED TO BRING IT TO LIFE- SO KEEP IT UP AND PLEASE TAKE CARE YOUR HEALTH AS WELL 👍👍👍👍👍👍

also i have a few theories about our MC if you don't mind-

1. so... as i played through the nightmare scene for the 9th time in a row to fully relish the horror and trauma, i realized that our dear (but unfortunate) MC must have gone through something MUCH MUCH worse than merely watching their father get oofed off by their mother 🤔🤔🤔 because i once read somewhere that if someone experiences like a really bad traumatic experience their brain will instinctively suppress their memories and lock them away to protect the person from getting anymore affected and also to give them a sense of normality? dunno about that our brains can be really mysterious sometimes, which brings me to my second theory

2. OK OK OK i know this may sound crazy and also scientifically inaccurate, but i think MC has some sort of Dissociative disorder? i mean- how do you explain their sudden black out from their home to their journey all the way to Bale's territory and the bar? or maybe im just overthinking it and perhaps its somehow related to the hallucinations and the syringes that have been emphasized over multiples times in the demo

3. why do i feel our MC is being drugged with something 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 or maybe something happened before or after the incident with their father otherwise why would Alex act so sus, Vincent too, YALL TOO SUS

and so ends my theory spree as i have exhausted my remaining two brain cells to make SOME kind of sense and connection through this whole theory thing

ALSO ALSO ALONZO WHY DO I HAVE A FEELING I WRONGED YOU SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE AND IF I DID IM SO SORRY -

which puts me to my next question, i wonder why our MC just offed 11 of their coworkers 🤔 corruption maybe? whatever the case Is, it still doesn't excuse bernard (or whatever his name is, he's a jerk) for acting like the lil piece of poop he is, to both us and finn cause oh boy imma bout to throw hands (you better sleep with one eye open you lil shit)

ALSO ALSO ALSO MORE WESLEY LORE YAY omg now i feel kinda conflicted rn like i still wanna sock that lil bastard for exposing us but i feel kinda pity for him too, also that wholesome moment between them was so cute if not for the current angsty situation, but i guess i'll them off with one good bish slap on the face for the whole expose before listening to their side of the story

and now finally, after going through your whole blog i realized that we have a hidden mental health stat- lol my mc is gonna be one helluva self sabotaging half depressed boi bu the end of this IF 😂

SORRY FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG RANT / ASK I WAS JUST TOO EXCITED AFTER PLAYING THE WHOLE DEMO AGAIN OVER 9 TIMES BEFORE FINALLY FEELING SATISFIED- IM SORRY 😭😅

Oh that is long, but don't be sorry! I love seeing long messages like this 😌And I’m so glad you love the story to this extent 😭

First of all, so there'll be no misunderstandings, I want to make it clear that what the MC is going through isn't exactly a dissociative disorder, although there is some degree of disassociation happening. I can't explain further because it's a very huge spoiler, but not everything they've been experiencing can be solely attributed to the level of trauma and other related occurrences that DID patients often went through before being diagnosed. It's a little... different.

This does not mean, however, that the MC has no repressed memories 😔 If you look carefully, there are actually some more hints spread throughout the demo, although some of them are hidden behind certain routes. A lot are in Chapter 2, though. Anyway, the revelations relating to it won’t be the focus of Book 1, but there will be a lot more clues in the future.

And yeah, I'm afraid Alex and Vincent will continue to be sus all the way.

YALL TOO SUS

ah but I wouldn’t have done my job right if they’re not sus :)))

why do i feel our MC is being drugged with something 🤔

🤔🤔🤔

ALSO ALSO ALONZO WHY DO I HAVE A FEELING I WRONGED YOU SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE AND IF I DID IM SO SORRY

Well, I suppose that depends on the perspective but Alonzo does believe the MC has wronged them haha which is tbh actually valid.

which puts me to my next question, i wonder why our MC just offed 11 of their coworkers 🤔 corruption maybe?

To be fair, I don't think arresting them counts as offing lmao but yeah there's a heavy corruption occurring within the police force and everybody knows it; it's just that most of the people in Gaile cannot do anything to stop it. And don't worry about Bertrand, he already sleeps with one eye open lmaoooo although he does have kind of a huge role (spoiler: he will always be an asshole).

Wesley's reuinion scene, though... if you all think the flashback scene is already conflicting you, well, the reunion might uh.... actually nevermind, I'm not gonna spoil it.

and now finally, after going through your whole blog i realized that we have a hidden mental health stat- lol my mc is gonna be one helluva self sabotaging half depressed boi bu the end of this IF 😂

There are four types of mental health stats in the demo right now, but I'm arranging all the variables in a spreadsheet to see if I've missed anything. I kinda have a lot of them lmfao.

[simptasia]

May I request buffy for the dashboard osmosis if you haven't seen it? Or if you have then steven universe

i'll do buffy

isabel, i like and respect you. but i hear about buffy a lot on tvtropes (in fact tvtropes started as a buffy fansite??) and almost everything i hear sounds... bad. it sounds like a cringe show. i'm sorry

i haven't seen it at all so thats not fair of me. but. yeah

or maybe the show isn't cringe but the fandom is. or both. hmm

buffy the vampire slayer was a 90s supernatural show made by joss whedon at his peak LOOK IM A FEMINIST fuckery

it stars sarah michelle gellar (who i know primarily as daphne in the live action scooby doo movies, and that bitch from cruel intentions) as buffy summers. and she's The Slayer. slayers are like chosen ones, and its a title thats passed on for i dunno hundreds of years

slayers... slay vampires, i presume

she talks in a specific manner hence the trope Buffy Speak. it's basically like a weird simple talky thingy (that was buffy speak)

one of the characters is willow rosenberg played by allison hannigan. and as a bi activist engrossed with fiction, i have certainly heard of this character. basically, she's the poster child for The 90s Being Weird About Bisexuality. as she was into dudes and then she's into a girl and the show is weird about it and she's Suddenly Lesbian. and like, yes, lesbians discovering themselves after dating dudes is totally a thing but thats not the logic being used here, it's just awkward biphobia. oh yes. i've heard much about willow and tara

tho, willow/tara is a case of Fair For It's Day

seth green played oz, a sardonic werewolf of little words. he was the dude willow was into before her bisexuality activated

david borealis and james marsters are angel and spike, they're two vampires that buffy is super into and i get the vibe that their love triangle is like a Big Thing in this show and/or the fandom. angel is the "good" one, spike is the bad one. i read that buffy and spike raped each other (with the buffy raping spike being played for laughs because life is a fucking nightmare). so that's fucked

angel got his own spin off called angel and one time angel became a muppet in it. i approve

angel is one of those brooding "i can never be good, theres no hope for me" types of vampires. the kinda guy tailored for certain women to be like "ohhh i can fix him" or whatever. it's kinda funny. on the flipside i assume spike is for the "mmm i don't wanna fix him" types

this is before this type of thing was subject to parody

there's some blando guy named xander, i think he's a nerd and meant to be an audience self insert. i've seen ppl say he has nice guy syndrome but i dunno how true that is. dunno who plays him

anthony head plays rupert giles, he's the exposition and mentor dude. makes dry remarks and spouts encouragement, i think

charmed, a show i love, apparently stole buffy's vibes a lot

buffy is the first show where somebody used google as a verb. as in "googled"

theres a musical episode wherein dancer and singer hilton battle Absolutely Fucks. oh and everybody has musical numbers, including one that ends with tara levitating from cunnilingus. this was noteworthy because sapphic characters being sexual was actually rare in mainstream media in the 90s. again, fair for it's day

oh, this is a monster of the week show where some overarching story each season. doug jones made a few appearances

i get the impression that buffy is one of those shows that has good actors and concepts but fucky writing. it happens, i feel you

is buffy a cheerleader or did i imagine that. i might be thinking of heroes (which also suffered from great acting, fucky writing)

anyways thank you for your time

[lesbianpepsi]

You don't have to respond or anything. I actually feel bad for writing this bcs i don't wanna burden anyone with this but if i don't say anything I'll lose it.

TW for R-word, PTSD, Depression, Self-harm and just really bad thoughts overall.

I'm honestly going insane. I don't even feel real anymore and it sounds corny and dumb but I truly don't. Nothing is helping, no therapy or any amount of pills are working for me. It's like, everytime I'm left to my own thoughts, I go crazy.

I hate it, I hate how I can't remember anything from 6-11 years old other than my cousin and his friend, the only childhood memories I have is my cousin and his friend r-wording me. They're 6 years older than me, I was just a kid. Barely 6, they were preteens. I don't understand why this happened to me and I'm so angry. I can barely sleep, 2 hours a night is amazing for me. But even in my sleep I have nightmares. They're awful, I wake up crying and covered in sweat. When I'm at school, one second I'll be fine and the next all I can feel is him and his friend. Its been years since I've last seen them but they're still there and they won't go away. I can still smell them, feel them, hear them. It's like it's happening all over again and I'm just so tired. I don't know what to do with myself. Everytime I think about having to live with this for the rest of my life, I feel an overwhelming sensation of just straight up agony. My chest hurts, my throat closes up and my eyes get watery. I'm tired of crying every night. I can't live in peace, these flashbacks I get are awful. It's like a flash of pictures in my head and my body reacts to it, like I'm a little kid with two grown men hurting me all over again. I tried fighting back of course, he just didn't feel pain. No matter how hard I kicked and punched and bit him. He wouldn't even flinch, it felt like God or whoever is supposedly up there, was on his side. It still feels like that. I can't even begin to understand why, if God is so powerful and real, why did he let that happen to me? It feels like it's my fault, God punished me for something I did and I just have to deal with it.

I hate how I'd let it happen all over again. Because at least it was just me, he threatened to hurt my sisters if I didn't let him and his friend. I didn't really have a choice, I couldn't let them go through that. So I'm grateful that he stuck to his word and my sisters are fine, I don't know what would happen to me or what'd I would do if they were hurt like i was and honestly still am. I'm sorry, I just feel so lost and faded. If that makes sense? I don't know what's happening to me and I'm scared of that. Thank you and have a goodnight, sorry for this shit I sent you but I wholeheartedly would snap if I stayed silent.

hey anon, it's alright i totally understand just wanting to say anything you've been thinking about.

i firstly wanna say im so sorry for everything's thats happened to you, nobody on earth deserves to go through that, im so sorry my love. and it was not your fault, the only person that's at fault is that scum, not you. you did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing.

i understand it's really hard and finding it so incredibly hard to find the point in trying to continue when you feel like you aren't getting better at all, but from my experience it does get better, it might take days, months or even years but eventually it does.

if you ever want to talk it vent anon feel free to send me a private message, i'm always here to help absolutely anyone, even if it's just to vent and get everything off of your chest.

i'm so sorry, my love, you're loved and i hope everything gets better for you❤️🫂

[the-kipsabian]

OKAY. SO YEAH. BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR UH, QUITE SOME TIME. PLS STOP ME IF I GO OFF THE RAILS THOUGH LOL

i guess i kinda went over it in my last fic, but i think when it comes to the belt and its curse, it's not gonna leave easy. like, no. not happening. losing isn't a "get out of being cursed free" card. it gave them fame, power, prestige. it tried to eliminate every possible distraction to ensure complete focus on retaining the title. if someone were to lose the title, there has to be repercussions.

so when one loses the title, i think at first, they need to appear okay. like back to normal, everything's fine, the belt's gone and they lower their guard enough to think that they can finally move on from this nightmare. but then after that false sense of freedom, that's when the real effects kick in. like the hallucinations, which i've been tying to their fears and reasons for wanting the belt. so like for oc, wanting to be taken seriously, afraid that maybe he just got lucky in his career and he is more of a joke, the orange punch failing him because of his arm injury etc. for kip, i know he's talked about that injury and other health issues being a dark time in his life, so incorporating this fear of never really recovering and wasting away, being outcasted for his "weirdness" in the company, wanting validation for his efforts in overcoming all of that.

and of course the more graphic ones where these events are perceived by oc and kip as someone else doing something to them, whether it's enemies, friends, or even themselves or something not even of this world. but from an outsider's perspective, it always looks like they're doing it to themselves (and i tried to be clear on this in my fic but they don't actually want to hurt themselves or anyone else. it's the damn curse of the belt doing this because if you're gonna lose it, it is going to make you suffer for as long as it can, even if that means destroying friendships/relationships).

and then the senses thing. i like to think that the belt sort of dulls things while holding it to make it easier to focus or fight through the pain, so without it, it just turns everything up to 11. sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, everything. it all just goes through the roof and makes even the buzzing of lights sound like a fireworks show. it was probably already enough of an adjustment to go back to normal those first few weeks, but it only gets worse instead of better.

i like to think after they acknowledge that this was the belt's doing and they're not crazy or sick or anything, the hallucinations die down as the message got through, but everything else just comes and goes and it's a matter of adapting to it. like kip says, time doesn't heal you. it changes you. and it's going to change them with how they interact with people, how they interact with each other now knowing what happened to them and that no one else gets it, getting back in the ring and whether they accept opportunities to go after gold again or not (like, could you imagine oc and the best friends getting a chance at the trios titles and oc being the only one hesitant because god. what could those belts do to him or his friends? life isn't the same anymore). it's just a journey to learn how to cope at this point. it's not going away. that belt will forever be around haunting them in one way or another, but they learn to live with it together, helping each other out to keep living as much as they can.

... yeah, this was really unhinged. i'm sorry lol

IM SO LATE TO THIS (and right now probably not in the best condition to reply to this but i finally remembered it existed cause theres so many things in my inbox OH GOD) BUT

first of all. absolutely yes to the normal period after losing the title before the real repercussions, cause ive been thinking about that too. there needs to be a false sense of normalcy for a while, as if its because the belt is gone - the adjust period, but its more or less framed under the sense of them just not being a champion anymore, and not actually the true meaning of losing the belt, which is being free from the curse and corruption. i really love the added layer of it directly targeting the corrupteds fears tho (especially through ones self, seeing the one doing the damage being someone they love), that is a really good touch and tbh im just gonna steal that one for the canon of this au now lol

YEAH YEAH YEAH THE SENSES THO!! ive always thought about the dulling pain part tbh, how it makes sure the host fights through everything no matter what, cause holding the belt is what keeps the curse alive and as the challenges get tougher and the champion more worn out, the stronger the curse needs to be and that means feeling less about the punishment you are going through. so it would absolutely make sense to have it be the opposite after its all gone, and especially during the adjust period that would just be. absolute hell. god yes i love this

also i had absolutely not thought about the part about how going after other belts afterwards would feel like oof. but that would be so true tho. for both of them, single and in teams, that would be such a hard task to undertake and i love the added drama of that tbh. even tho no other belt is cursed (as far as we are aware of? idk house of black is holding the trios titles rn and we know what happened with the elite before), thats such an interesting take to it and absolutely something both of them would think about really hard before going for the titles, or letting their friends go for them. absolutely love this one OOF

i wanted to touch the 'time doesnt heal it changes you' part last cause this is an important topic to me personally, but like. thats so true for this tho. how time wont heal their wounds, physical or mental, about this and what they had to go through, it WILL change them. and it does over the course of the time/story too, as they do both learn to cope with the aftermath of this, both together and separately. they do understand each other better now, they can hold each other up and survive on their own. but its a positive change, they cant stop to dwell on healing wounds that will always be there, but they can move on, learn how to change things. and thats just. thats just what this is about in the end, i think. i just hope they, too, realize this on the way

[taylortruther]

I was just at the nail salon and almost cried cause the guy doing my nails slightly raised his voice at me cause I wasn’t satisfied with the shape of my nails so I showed him a photo of what I wanted and he was like ‘ yeah that’s what you have!’ All angry sounding ( it absolutely wasn’t anything close to to the shape I wanted but we got there) and I almost cried cause his tone of voice Lmaoo but thankfully I didn’t which I was very proud of cause im ultra sensitive and I cry all the time 😬

nooo this is honestly my nightmare!! good for you for being able to work it out with him but i'm sorry that happened. why is it so hard to assert your needs in the nail salon though lmao i never do

[weabooweedwitch]

I uh

I dont even know how to word this and not sound kind of cruel but I think I lowkey met like an actually evil mentally ill person today. I think she may have tricked me into doing something I wasn't supposed to do for the purpose of reporting me for it later because she's been deliberately causing scenes at our store and acting like she wants financial compensation for it.

This is a really long vent post but uh. I feel like I need to write this to save these details into my memory and on print

Today she was acting totally fine and i didn't realize who she was until i was outside alone with her. She basically "revealed herself" by bringing up a specific story that allegedly happened to her, I story I immediately recognized being told by a manager about "this nightmare woman screaming abuse". So she basically comes to our store, shopped, and said "im disabled i need help loading my car" which, guess what, is not actually a service our store provides nor is obligated to provide but she will not take no for an answer. So I help her because I like idk didn't want the store to get in trouble or us get in trouble for refusing, and she wanted to give me a tip for helping load her car. I told her no multiple times and was really nice like "oh no, I don't want you to feel obligated just because I was nice" but she talked me into accepting a single dollar bill

This woman was already, uh, "showing signs of her disorder" and was threatening to sue another coworker over severe abuse and she started mentioning like, disability lawyers and shit, and now hours later now that im calm,, I'm thinking "fuck she actually straight up tricked me into taking money from her when im not supposed to" and im absolutely positive she had malicious intent because of the way she gave me the money. I saw other cash in her wallet and she was speaking like she wanted a specific denomination of money but only gave me a single dollar bill? She's going to come back later and say I violated my job or took advantage of her as an elderly disabled woman or something and

And I just. She like. Did something that kind of chilled me a little bit. I'm talking to her and she's being kind of incoherent and unreasonable, complaining about my coworkers but being nice to me,, and I go to hand her a quarter back and she notices my hands are shaking. She's sharp amd present enough to notice my hands were shaking from me quickly handing her a small coin. And she commented on it, all sweet like "oh im sorry to have to put you in this position" (this position being,, outright asking me to report "my abusive coworkers" to management)

She just. She just legitimately manipulated every single interaction she had when she entered the store. And you know what? The first time this happened, the incident where she claimed she was so horrifically abused, which again did not happen? On that day, she had gone up to a manager and said something like

Oh my god wait. The very first thing she said to me was asking if I was a new manager. She was checking to see who I was and how nice I was and she specifically requested me by name to help her with her groceries. She was planning on using me from the very second she walked up to me. Jesus

But continuing that previous thought she deadass asked my manager "isn't there usually some sort of discount or compensation when there's been cases of abuse"

This woman is deliberately making us go outside to load her car where there aren't any cameras and she's trapping us into these horrible conversations where she's talking about how old and disabled she is and how abusive we are and threatening to report people to law enforcement and she's called corporate several times apparently, and the entire time, even as im giving her the 500% ass kissing best customer service treatment, she's still being unreasonable, basically being "my way or the highway"

At some point im trying to get her to empathize and I say something like "im so sorry someone made you feel scared like that. I can relate as someone with an anxiety disorder who has panic attacks and

She interrupts me. Interrupts me, with this, like, I don't even know, literally says "you don't have anxiety, that's just what happens when you work in a hostile work environment with abusive people" and was asking me personal questions about how my coworkers treat me

It's just. I'm so like fucking legitimately scared of her now honestly. She played the part of this helpless old woman but she deliberately did crafty manipulative things and at the end of the conversation she was saying "oh thank you for your help Miranda, bless you" and I get an idea and I say "and thank you, and im sorry I think I forgot to ask your name?" and she just smiles and says "bless you" again, and that's sketch as fuck, deliberately not wanting to tell me her name

But. Yeah uh. I'm just kind of shaken because she was really hammering home to me how she wanted to pursue some sort of charge against my coworker and I just. I worry about things like ADA law and how what if hypothetically "she wins" you know....

[geekns]

you sound like the qanon conspiracy freaks who were convinced there were litter boxes in classrooms for kids to piss and shit in lol. was gonna try engaging in a meaningful dialogue with you but since you’ve got your head so far up your ass you’re interpreting genuine kindhearted asks trying to help you as vicious hate and bullying, im not even gonna bother. i just wanted you to know you sound like you ingested horse antiparasitic to treat covid. also ps who the fuck is anne? are you just making up a person to blame everything on bc you can’t admit that you showed your entire ass and multiple people have come to clown? okay anyway you’re too bitter to waste the rest of my high on so byeeeeeeee!!!!

I have not ever been involved with the QAnon movement. Have no fucks to give, never thought any of it was real. In fact, I think it was controlled opposition. I don't fit inside your tiny box, Anne.

I haven't received any genuine, kindhearted asks in a very long time.

If you thought you were being kind, you are absolutely delusional. I am not here to conform to your hot takes. Who do you think you are, what gives you the right to tell me how to live, what to think, what to feel? I'm not here to be your echo chamber.

Oh yes, the Rona.

You want to know what. I feel sorry for you. That "horse antiparasitic" has been prescribed to humans for decades. The only reason the Rona Vax was able to be pushed into production is because the doctors and the MSM and the government lied to you. If they were to admit that a drug, one that's worked for decades, could work in this instance as well, then they wouldn't have been legally allowed to use people like lab rats.

And guess what? Now the people who were gullible enough to take the jab are paying the price, and it's horrible. Turbo cancers. Blood Clots. Heart attacks. Strokes. Bell's Palsy. Sterilization. The list keeps growing and growing and y'all still think you weren't sold snake oil? Wake up!

There had never been a vax for the common cold and the one they have provided still doesn't prevent the disease from being contracted or from spreading. That's a bunch of science fiction, germ theory doesn't even hold water and hasn't done so for 100 years. They were trying to prove it during the Spanish Flu and failed.

I feel so sorry for everyone who is living through this dystopic nightmare, even moreso for those people who are still hypnotized and refuse to acknowledge what they allowed to happen to themselves.

Anne is short for anon.

Specifically hateful anons. It's a term that the Reylos coined because so many people were hating on them. It's been in Tumblr usage for years. It's got "Sure Jan" vibes. An Anne is almost always a Karen. Someone who irrationally expects to get their way and be thanked for their tantrum. And what y'all have most definitely been acting like today is Karens.

I haven't shown my ass, WTF is that even supposed to mean. I mean, do you want me to moon you like in Braveheart or something? It's not my thing but I could probably find you a clip.

No, I'm not surprised that the brainwashed clowns showed up, haters gotta hate after all. It's like you guys get off on making yourselves look as idiotic and small as possible. I've always been perplexed: why do you think it's okay to tell people that they're full of "hate" if they don't agree with your delusions. Why would it ever be okay to tell someone that they should kill themself? Be forced to put up with abuse? Be raped? Does it make you feel powerful??? Because you sound pathetic.

So good, go away, rethink your life, since drugs seem to make you act like a fool that can't be taken seriously.