#im sorry you didnt get to grow up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

steampoweredskeleton · 2 years

Text

Ignore

#delete later #thought about emma again and got real sad #she wasnt real abd she deserved to be #im sorry you didnt get to grow up #im sorry so much of wgat you knew was shitty stuff from shitty situations #its wild reading about like inner child work or whatever and being like well i got two od those bitches #bc i was busy trying so hard to be one kid and actually being another kid that they may as well be #different. and not in a did way obvs. in a masking way where they were so kinda built up tgey were theor own structure #like emma needed comfort and security and rest. and Caleb needed freedom and expression and excitement #and now I'm like this and i need both as nuch as i hate both #i dobt think rhe way i was ever treated was oit of malice by any of the ppl #but it still sucked #and thats hard #its been ages since i thought about emma and what happened when she was the mask #as i unmask my autistic behaviours more too i feel the fear that was apart of that mask reduce a lot too #which is glorious

0 notes

vaugarde · 27 days

Text

havent seen this take in a while thankfully but it popped up in my head and i wanna post this anyways. i think everyone who talks about how siffrin “got off too easy” at the end of isat and his friends should have abandoned him should go read warrior cats if they want an example of a character using their trauma as their god-given jailbreak card to treat their family and peers (a good amount of whom who were completely innocent) like dogshit, and who faces zero consequences from the narrative for it (and in fact bends over to blame their peers). like read all the shit jayfeather does while the narrative sobs over how tragic but awesome and quirky he is and then look me in the eye and tell me siffrin’s ending was poorly written.

#or look at titania from reborn. what who said that #at least siffrin’s trauma is actually developed and taken deadly seriously by the narrative and clearly isnt being used to excuse his behav #behavior #siffrin does some shitty things in the story but theyre very obviously in a horrible state mentally and physically thats been breaking them #down little by little by little until theyve exploded and broken down. and his family still holds him accountable for what he did #but they stay with him anyways because they love and respect and care about him and are horrified to learn his situation #meanwhile ivypool goes through trauma yeah but shes not really written like a realistic trauma victim #and when she hurts her sister over and over and over and over and over again its always her sister who has to make it up at the end #and we all gotta sob and coo over ivy because shes the fan favoriteand if you criticize her then you hate trauma victims #(ignoring dovewing’s trauma from the situation as well i might add)#while ivy never gets to grow or acknowledge how her attitude is hurtful to herself and others #its just ‘’well dovewing had it better so she better shut the fuck up and deal with the constant emotional abuse ivy throws at her’’#imagine if isat ended with siffrin going ‘’actually im not sorry bc you all havent suffered as much as me’’#and the party didnt object to that at all and they were like ‘’yes we do have it better so youre justified in hurting us #and also you are the most tragic character ever so you cant face emotional consequences ever’’#(and before anyone goes ‘’well dovewing left the clan and ivypool feels bad about that’’ the story doesnt position it as a consequence of #her behavior to her sister. canonically shes leaving to be with her baby daddy and SHES framed as the one hurting her sister #and shes the one whos gotta mend that rift. while the narrative doesnt acknowledge that that situation was partly her sisters fault at all #)#ok sorry for wc on main jumpscare. i wouldve posted over on the blog but i dont think people over there have played isat #echoed voice #isat spoilers

20 notes · View notes

screechingfromthevoid · 2 months

Text

Orym growing his hair out while Dorians gone because he's not really taking care of himself makes for an EXCELLENT gay hair cutting fic

#silver sending stones #dorym #orym of the air ashari #dorian storm #the thought is #theyre reunited and dorian #because orym is roughly hand height #dorian runs his hands through oryms hair “without thinking”#and says “youre letting it grow? i thought you liked it short?”#and dorian wraps it in a fist and pulls a little bit #again “without thinking” (no for real dorian like playing with hair hense the long ass hair and he does not realize hes making oryn go RED)#and orym. through his blush. goes “i actually hate it. i just havent felt ... its been really ... it gets in my eyes? hard to look around”#“oh? im sorry i wouldnt have-” “no its okay. i didnt say anything”#“...do you want ne to cut it? im pretty good with a pair of sheers” “oh i ... normally just go at it until its short enough”#“oyrm. i mean this as kindly as i can. we can all tell. youre a handsome man. let me give you something thatll compliment your face”#lots of blushing. a lot of touching of the neck and throught the scalp #and depending on how I'm feeling #theyre probably not together #so orym is just sitting there radiating red while dorian is doing his best not to fuck up his hair #maybe a kiss at the end #maybe not #we'll see how desperate i am at episode 98 #we're just on e32 rn

30 notes · View notes

iliterallydecepticanteven · 1 year

Text

Being raised by adults who never apologized for their wrongdoings and always blamed their behavior on extenuating circumstances or someone else or their mental conditions really messed me up huh. Like all I asked was for you to apologize for yelling at me for asking you to hand me something because you thought my tone was wrong. But instead of an apology, I'm the one in the wrong because after all my tone was hostile to you and I need to remember that due to your ADHD you can't control your emotions. Nevermind the fact that I had carefully rehearsed the question in my head over and over again because this is not the first time this has happened. And I'm clearly a manipulative person for crying after being yelled at. Doesn't matter that I was thirteen, after all, I should've known better.

#sorry for the vent post #im just not in a good headspace lately #i just keeping going back to this #because i think it was my breaking point #kinda the moment i realized nothing was gonna change #because it didnt matter how hard i tried #and the fact that even now eleven years later when i explained to her how hurt i was by this interaction #it still gets brushed off and i still don't get an apology #like you wont apologize for the big problems you wont apologize for the small problems #it doesnt matter how much i explain how i was hurt i dont get an apology #id even settle for an insincere one at this point #and now being adult and recognizing how bullshit that behavior was #but being expected to carry on like usual because after all it was never that bad #nothing really terrible ever happened so why should i hold onto the past #idk man like 18 years of constantly walking on eggshells and carefully selecting every word and controlling my tone fucks a person up #and i dont wanna go back to that #nevermind the fact that my anxiety disorder got ignored and brushed off time and time again #nevermind the countless signs and panic attacks and weird behavior #mental health mattered until it was something you didnt have or inconvenienced you #then it was all in my head and i just had to grow a pair and act my age

23 notes · View notes

atomiclace · 2 months

Text

who knew that some agere people would be the worst type of people to exist (talking about you spinny)

#dont get your toddler army to do your anon hate and unblock me on discord if u want to talk #ik you act like a baby and thats fine but if youre bold enough to try to get me paranoid (and fail) then u should be bold enough to dm me #yknow without hiding yourself #either do that or leave us alone girl!! move on #like why do you preach about moving on to a new era and then actively seek out trouble ????#get a job or something #trying to make me think my bf is cheating on me is such a weird thing to do and a big low for you spinny. it's actually sad #the worst part youre not even good at doing it. youre making shit up from what you THINK you know & hiding behind ur friend #its okay to fall out of friendships and im not even trying to meddle with your life but you are literally actively seeking out problems #and thats so pathetic. especially when you paint yourself all high and might over us ??? clearly we tried everything for you #until we got to a point where we were literally drowning because we have other shit in our lives too #you keep losing friends and complain about it. maybe consider why??? because of lack of communication and empathy!! youre just mean!#especially to those who've always tried so hard to have your back and defend you! (buka and me!!!)#yet you didnt care. you dont communicate and expect us to read minds & you demand things #and u say that a real friend should know when to reach out & ya but when it gets to a point where i feel like im drowning? no thanks #im prioritizing myself and my mental health im sorry #not to mention i was ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE IN YOUR BULLSHIT #so grow up. actually. and if you wanna dm me then unblock me and we can talk #if you want to keep hiding behind your toddler friends acting like youre all small and sweet and babies then go ahead but leave us alone?#at least ill have closure and finally come to terms that you're not rlly a good person and u use your illnesses to excuse ur behavior #because i still think about you and wish you were our friend but after everything thats happened (this being the cherry on top for ME)#then maybe you really just are a shitty person and you do more harm than good #soz to everyone else reading this just continue scrolling LOL #its drama cus an ex friend is sending their toddler militia on me for some reason???#delete later

6 notes · View notes

lecliss · 10 months

Text

Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.

#she takes on a very 'obsever' role. like kashi is the teacher watching over them. but sock is the watching and commenting from the same #perspective of nart and sauce and also the viewer unlike kashi. cuz he provides a lot of exposition and whatnot in his inner monolgues #and its like. of course the girl is just the observer who watches alongside us as the two main boys grow and develop #AND I DONT WANNA FUCKIN BE PESSIMISTIC ABOUT THIS BUT GOD ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!#but her whole character so far is 'i hate the class clown. im book smart. i diet and im in love'#and the way i see it is. 12yo girl TRYING to fit into the femininity she sees in the world around her so she forces herself to be like this #but she has inner sock who speaks what she really feels showing that she puts on quite a front and isnt really much like that at all #and you expect her to grow into wanting her to truly define herself. and she does with getting stronger and training under tsunade and #learning medical ninjutsu so she really finds a spot for herself. she does!!! but then she KEEPS hanging onto the love nonsense #and admittedly there are moments that push a very obvious trope of thinking she likes sauce cuz hes cool but finding out that the real 'gem'#is nart so i definitely understand where n@rus@kus are coming from #but then she just STICKS with sauce until its the worst ship possible and its an utter mess of 'ill never give up on him'#EVEB DESPITE HIM TRYING TO KILL HER!!! THEN THAT FUCKING WORKS OUT!?!?!?#AND TOO THIS DAY SAUCE STILL NEVER COMES OFF LIKE HE ACTUALLY LOVES HER #IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE. SARD WE ARE GETTING YOU BETTER PARENTS. ON GOD!!!!!#so she just hangs on to this one little thing that she SHOULD have gotten development for to move on from BUT IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS #so its like half her development never fucking happens and thats why it #s such a fuckinf mess!!!!!#i fucking hate this show. i need to go back to watching mike's dino game vod. what am i doing here?????#i did this to myself btw. i didnt need to start yelling about that but thats just how it is with nart #start thinking about something good and then it reminds you of something related thats bad and now its like. yeah this shit sucks #remember when kishi said he regretted not making hina the heroine???? we could have lived in a better timeline.#but if i say that i will get assassinated #anyway.#sock count #personal

13 notes · View notes

brofightiscancelled · 2 months

Text

fighting yowai....

#what must it be like to be 10 years old only child #and then suddenly you have a little sister that eberyine adores and fawns over #like i just kniw they spoilt totoko so bad (canon) and neglected fighting for it (my delusion)#he probabky tried to bully her and got heavily reprimended by his parents for it #probably would lead to him still being childish at 20... suddenly not getting attention anymore -> regression and acting out #maybe anger issues too. hence boxing #idk. i feel like he mustve grown upcresenting her to some degree #little girl who gets everything #i mean their parents did let him live at homr still at 20 but that seemed contingent on him inheriting the fish shop #idk. im hallucinating. im delusional. but man. what must their relationship have been like...#now that theyre both adults they can get along as equals. but oh.. the gaps from childhood they cant fill #considering their age difference i wonder if they even felt like family at a certain point....#tragedy of the spoilt girl and her forgotten brother....#the way it ruined theur lives (potentially) in different ways #sorry. im thinking too hard abt it im hallucinating. sorry #aughhh i love totoko as a study of a spoilt girl grown up though #the sextuplets and her both pampered as kids and never grew up #vs fighting at 20 who wanted to be an adult but didnt want to grow up.. now with child..#potentially reconnecting w parents for first time in years??#sorry. im thinking too much abt a character who showed up for 3 seconds. sorry #sorry i started relating the character w 1 manga appearance to my own personal familial dynamics and now im invested. sorry

4 notes · View notes

twistmusings · 1 month

Text

I have finally found my audience and it's feral Jade Stans /gen

#not writing;;#hello welcome I am also a feral Jade stan #also hello lgbt community LMFAO #my followers who are here for my writing content Im sorry but also....... thank you for sticking around ily #I can't lie a big part of why Im posting so hard about this is genuinely because like #being a queer person irl canon moments like this are really special to me because growing up i didnt really get this rep in media #so in a way this is healing to me #I wouldn't say Im an elder queer but I think a lot of younger people than me would probably say I am since i'm almost 30 atp #and honestly it sometimes makes me so happy to see the way that fandom and canon both have evolved to be more accepting of queer people #even if it's not explicitly canon in text its still enough to relate to and thats so important for young people discovering themselves #and fandom spaces are getting more and more accepting of queer fans #anyway.... queer trans and questioning followers... I see you and I love you #I'm so proud of you for being here.

3 notes · View notes

cocolacola · 1 year

Text

mark ur calendars today was the day i forgave maiev shadowsong

#tag rant :)#this is such a shocker but i didnt like her until... just now?#i think it was because so many ppl shipped her with illidan and that always deeply bothered me. it still does #sorry if you like it-actually no im not literally why would you ship that. why.#i get my rivals to lovers kicks elsewhere #so anyways #like i was sitting here and was like 'why do i hate her i need to grow up.'#then i did!#i realized hating her because 'she was a shit person' makes no fucking sense because #it was under the same logic of what happened to sylvanas and if anything i just want justice for her character arc #so why not justice for maiev as well? i think they went through similar things #she literally has one of the best designs in the entire franchise #if not the best. because holy shit it's just that good imo #and her vibes are just very refreshing for the series she just brings that PASSION and ENERGY #this is my redemption arc #shes absolutely nothing like integra but maybe she is to me now. i love women who slash things and are going to GET YOU #some of yall simp real fucking crazy tho. stay safe im not at that level of meatriding yet.#warcraft #maiev shadowsong #my art

28 notes · View notes

bmpmp3 · 2 months

Text

the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)

#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good #i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same #so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL #they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers #i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie #I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs #while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL #the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much #of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time #the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute #i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great #weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable #i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like #coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much #and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared #i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so #real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared #it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of #hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3 #loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute #altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd #anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited #it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered #i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing #oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME

2 notes · View notes

beancalzone · 4 months

Text

.

#you know. i never really liked the sound of rain or how it looks outside when it storms #but i moved into my apartment yesterday and last night while I was unpacking it was raining pretty bad #and I think theres something poetic about me stopping the video I was watching and sitting on my bed to listen to the rain for a while #i have a lot of good things in my life right now. im not used to having good things. im not used to letting myself have good things #its a process we're slowly learning. but im glad to be here. and im looking around my bedroom still processing that this is mine #i turn 26 later this month and my birthday is always a rough time for me bc I get older but I would always feel stuck #but for once in my life. i think ill be okay.#anyway all of this to say is I have a semi busy day ahead of me and I need to shower but im afraid bc idk how my new shower works #that thang looks like some sort of contraption and I havent learned the secrets yet but such is life and a part of growing up #cal.txt #sorry for my weird poetic rambling i didnt feel like there was enough here for my collection of poetry google docs

2 notes · View notes

flowermist7432 · 4 months

Text

Today is Mother's day and i'm not sure how to feel about it. Ever since i learned the news of my mom dying last year ive been struggling to understand how to cope with that- I really wish I knew the exact day she passed away. Which is weird right? But i dunno, i feel like having some day to mourn would help. I just remember being on the laptop playing a game and my grandma coming in to tell us the news. I remember the exact place my character was standing in the game when we were told. and I have so many unanswered questions that I can never get closure for. On top of that, learning from my older sister what happened in her life and how it led up to her death; fills me with so many mixed feelings. Angry? offended? sad? confused? I really dont know. I miss you mom

#recently at my older sister's wedding someone who knew my mom was speaking to us.#and she was SUPER drunk and was like 'oh i didnt know lisa had two sons!' since i was introduced as y'know. a boy.#and that made me so sad and awkward. for obvious reasons but also because it hit me that she'll never really know that either.#i have a lot of regrets. i wish i knew her better. i wish she wasnt treated so horribly.#growing up being screamed at that id 'end up like her' if i didnt get my act together. it was unfair for both of us.#im sorry they did that to you. im sorry that stupid fucking man pulled you back down just as you were getting better #you werent perfect and you did fucked up things. im mad at you. but you didnt deserve to die for it.#vent #vent post #death mention tw

2 notes · View notes

duckchef · 2 months

Text

ya know what if batmans fans can ignore his bad parenting i can ignore supermans

#duck post #yeah look i dont think he did a great job with jon sorry #like i think its so fucked he didnt even know about his parents superhero biz when he was growing up that just doesnt make sense to me #but ultimately idc <3 #if you even talk about kon on this post im just gonna tell you to die cuz that isnt his kid hope this helps 👍#dont even get me started on that cw show the clark fuckin sucks as a dad

1 note · View note

snobgoblin · 1 year

Text

the problem with being a social butterfly on the internet when you never were irl is that your social skills are super underdeveloped and front and center so you're just saying all the wrong things to like 40 people

#ITS EXHAUSTING. idk how to do this shit #if i make u mad im sorry but holy shit give me some grace #im fighting for my life here man im doing my best #im not out here trying to speedrun hurting your feelings u gotta understand that #it destroys me when i make someone upset. just know that #i feel like a little kid i feel so stupid i cant do anything right #vent #its like u get to learn stuff the hard way you shouldve learned as a kid #but you didnt get the chance to #and now you dont get the patience of 'theyre just a kid theyre learning #you get 'you should know this shit' BUT I DONT do you know how much i was ignored growing up #and treated like an animal #holy shit man

7 notes · View notes

paranormalglass · 1 year

Text

guys can u seriously b normal im gonna make a post abt this cause like ermmm... not okay behaviour.

ppl are using my discord from my toyhouse to send me death threats over headcanons and fuck knows what else and it is disgusting i hope to fuck it's nobody here but if it is stop it and go outside

[read tags please.]

#^soggy speaks #im getting death threats from like. 4 diff accounts #and im gonna lose it #i actually hate this fandom sometimes people make it so hard to enjoy things #im also being insulted for my ethnicity you people whoa re doing this disgust me #me being colombian has nothing to do with. anything. yet its being used as an insult against me in an arguement i didnt start nor want to #apart of #sorry to be doom and gloom on main but seriously #grow up

7 notes · View notes

percyjacksonfan3 · 10 months

Text

Okay I will admit I was nervous going into Chalice of the Gods but I did love it

#ive been so distanced from the riordanverse since blood of olympus and i was very scared because this book is my og babies again #but rick pulled it off #were there things i didnt like? such as him forgetting Percy wore the invisibility cap before? yeah #and i wish there had been some more dialogue and meaningful conversations between characters. he's still shying away from that lately #which is disappointing #but im intrigued about what hes setting up and the little moments hes weaving in #we're still getting hints of percy's extreme power. like him with the river god?#rick what does it all MEAN #dont be a coward and commit to it #plus percy's growing resentment towards the gods and their treatment of everyone they see as less than them #give me the dark!percy storyline #but i also loved percy wavering on new rome (sorry girlies i am a new rome hater first and foremost)#and him mourning the fact that he wont be at chb much anymore #which i still think is so stupid but whatever im dealing with it #i loved all the callbacks to the og series. bit surprised rhea was introduced so casually but whatever #i feel like that could have been very cool #and the god of old age! gary! THAT was a great scene but again rick you can give us more #its okay the feelings and emotional dialogue wont hurt you #anyway im hopeful #this was just a first book in a trilogy so im hoping we'll get more into the deeper and darker themes as we go just like with pjo #you can do it rick #riordanverse #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #chalice of the gods #yes i finally read it today because i am finally reading again after weeks of work kicking my ass

4 notes · View notes