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jinkiezzsstuff · 2 months

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Alastor watching the princess and the frog by Disney ? It’s in lousiana in the 1920s so it would be perfect for him

absolutelyyyyyyy the princess and the frog is one of my fav disney movies from characters to soundtrack, so this one’s a bit longer. also kind of a part two but also not exactly

history ramble below

also i did some light research on new orleans history because if im gonna write alastor i should know. doggy i love me some history and this history is rich, depressing at times but also rich and meanful to know so i thought id share a little. from talking about the free the peoples movement, to the way women got their rights to their hair back that they didn’t have when enslaved only to have a law banning natural hair and hair wraps and so they decorated the wraps and used coloured fabrics effectively rendering the law useless, to the wealthiest black man of the 1870s for being a prospering business owner, the origins of how voodoo and other spiritual practices mingled perfectly with the pre established voodoo and how voodoo was predominantly black women who were highly respected, the first black man to be govoner in the united states in only 1871, a black woman named Rose Nicaud who opened the first coffee stand in 1800 and made enough to escape being ensalved. then there’s lighter topics like some of the jazz history and how it made various black stars like louie armstrong, and also how the language mingled to make the cajun french that’s sadly dying out, to the architecture that flourished through the varying clashes in culture between african, european, native and haitian peoples. if it’s not too upsetting to read i definitely suggest this page to have an insight on some of the quick history on new orleans, i enjoyed learning about the strength that many had during this time.

United teachers of new orleans < page i was reading

Warnings: jealous Al teehee, reader crushes on naveen and dr facilier (don’t mind me just projecting), cuddling, swearing, alastor doesn’t really know emotions good, fluffy banter, just some ushy gushy mushy tushy

Word count: 2k

The movie Bambi didn't even finish playing before the patrons started to filter out of the room heading to bed. First to go was Vaggie carrying a sleeping Charlie, Sir pentious promptly following along telling his fussy egg boys it was long past their bed time. Then it was Niftys turn to disappear, however she never said a goodnight only sped off leaving behind her vacant swishing rocking chair.

Then once Angel and Husk left, you had decided to just call it quits on Bambi, Alastor hadn't moved much or objected to you turning off the movie, only watching the projector as you scrolled through the app.

You stopped on the princess and the frog, grinning toward Alastor he sighed, getting a glimpse of your mischief from the corner of his eye. "Now what's this about darling?" Turning your body towards his fully facing him, you waited for his gaze to finally meet yours, and reluctantly it did. "Allow me to introduce you to one of, if not, thee best disney movies of all time; the princess and the frog," Alastor's finger rose as he took a breath to speak, but before he could say a word you interrupted him.

"Yes I know princess yuck, whatever Al. It takes place in New Orleans, its main focus is actually in the poorer area with the shotgun houses, and throughout the movie Tiana, the princess, travels through the bayou, oh! With Naveen one of the hottest princes, also it takes place in the twenties, oh!-" Before you could continue Alastor gently gripped your cheeks, your lips puckering involuntarily as he did so."What did you just?"

"Takes place in the nineteen twenties?" You asked, voice muffled from Alastors grip on your cheeks. "Before that dear." Your eyebrows raised looking at Alastor not trying to hide your confusion. "Naveen? One of the hottest princes?" Alastor hummed, booping your nose. "Yes dear, that."

"Yeah. duh dude he's one of the few princes that deserve the princess, he changes for Tiana, he's charismatic, funny, but nevermind that back to what i was saying. There's varying New Orleans culture littered through that might make you feel closer to home, all the music is jazz obviously." Opening your mouth readying to rant on about the Voodoo man that you adored, Alastor hushed you with his finger up to your lips.

"My sweet dear, I will watch this silly picture show so long as you stop rambling about it." Alastor wasn't truly done with hearing your rambling, he was enjoying hearing that you were such a fan of something that centred so close to home when it came to him however if he was going to watch it he rather not have it spoiled.

Giddily you clasped your hands together and hit play, your love for the film and excitement to see Alastors reaction may have made you slightly over enthusiastic just a bit. As the movie began you curled your feet up onto the couch, inching yourself closer to Alastor looking up to his face and back to the movie.

When Naveen got introduced on screen you accidentally gripped Alastors arm tightly shaking him. "My mannn~" You squealed happily, letting go of Alastor once you heard the unmistakable rattle come from him, a growl sounding out of his chest. You didn't pay much attention to him though, instead turning back to the projector and backing off Al. However Alastor wasn't too frustrated with the fact you touched him, but because you were being so ushy gushy over some fake man.

He was easily the same if not better than Naveen. Alastor was charismatic, charming, he could sing, play instruments, he didn't quite understand why you were so particularly interested in this Naveen. Hell, even Alastor had a similar outfit back when he was alive, he could've been Naveen when he was alive.

You didn’t notice Alastor having a mini tantrum in his own world, you were too engrossed in the movie. Suddenly you’ve gripped him again, pointing at the screen. "The shadow man, Al this is your kin!" You egged laughing maniacally at your own words.

Alastor’s face however brightened at the display of the voodoo man. "One of my fav songs." You whispered as Dr. Facilier began singing on screen. Cocking his head to the side Alastor looked down to you bouncing along to the song. "This fellow sounds similar to Husk." Alastor mentioned, watching intently at the shadows that crawled around Dr. Faciliers room, much like Alastors own shadows. "Yeah it really does sound like Husk. Strange, anyways, Dr. Voodoos hot too." Alastors static buzzed around the room and you had to hold back a giggle at the frustrated look on his face, despite the smile it was obvious he wasn't too happy.

"What's up Al, not liking the movie?" Static crackled around the two of you as you questioned him a little slyly as you could tell he wasn’t hating the movie. “No dear, it’s pleasant in comparison to some things i’ve grit myself through, however,” He paused watching you ogle at both the Dr and Naveen. “I can’t understand what’s so great about this Naveen you like. He’s a fool,” You scoffed at Alastors distaste for Naveen, you didn’t mean to make him feel frustrated at your adoration for the characters but it was endearing to see.

“What’s not to like about the man?” You state confidently but Alastor simply shrugged while humming indifferently. A beat of silence passed, the ending of the song playing out of the projector. “It’s just that,” Alastor started up again after a moment of silence, turning his body to face you hands folded in his lap politely. “You clearly have the odd reaction towards these gentlemen and I can't see why,” To give him credit he did look genuinely confused, and just as you were going to speak up he interrupted.

“And please do not say it’s because he is funny, charismatic, musically talented or sweet because I happen to hold all those same qualities!” He finished, hands thrown in the air like he said something especially spectacular. You had a soft smile present on your face watching him work through the sentence theatrically. “Well, Al you are, maybe i think the same about you?” Record scratch.

You cackled at his frozen state, patting his arm gently, cooing that you were only kidding, you turned back to the TV and the two of you decided to leave it at that.

Later on in the movie, when Tiana and Naveen are with the alligator going down the bayou singing about being human, you stared over at Alastor, your heart thumping at the sight of him. His arms were resting along the back of the couch, legs splayed out comfortably, posture sunken in, and his eyes lidded with a closed calm smile. His ear twitched and soon his eyes moved from the movie to you, quirking a questionable eyebrow at you.

Feeling slightly embarrassed for eyeing him up you tried to play it off by asking him a question. “Is there bayous in New Orleans, is that real?” You ask kinda dumbly, of course they were, you scolded yourself. Alastor didn’t seem to mind though he smiled widely, a chuckle reverberating out of him. “Why yes dear! Of course, I personally never lived close to the bayou, but it surrounds New Orleans, and I have been. It’s quite beautiful during a sunset but there’s tons of alligators.”

You leaned forward interested, but it seemed he’d stopped to refocus on the screen which you wouldn’t complain about. You not so discreetly leaned into his torso, arm still on the back of the sofa behind you, and thankfully he didn’t move when you leaned your body into him, instantly decompressing into his side.

They got to the scene where the gang is on the boat going through the bayou, the crocodile fitting in and playing jazz, when you turned to look up at Alastor seeing him already looking down at you. “What’s up?” You asked, watching as he scanned your face. “Well dear you’re just reminding me of home tonight, it would’ve been interesting to be able to show you where I lived, where I worked. Y’know when i did radio, most people didn’t know what I looked like so it came as quite a shock to some that I wasn’t what they imagined. Some were cruel, but my mother always taught me to be respectable if not respectful, so I managed to keep my grace.”

You giggle at his explanation watching him move his hand in all different directions, the radio host coming into play just at the mention of his job. “I’m flattered you would’ve wanted to show me your home n stuff, i wish it were possible.”

On the projector in front of you two, was the scene between Naveen and Tiana’s first date, where Naveen was going to propose. “They always get married so fast in these movies, you spend three days as a frog and suddenly it’s eternity!” You exclaimed humorously, Alastor scoffed an array of instrumental sounds electronically sounding out from him. “My dear it was common back in the day to get married quick, none of this lollygagging.”

You rolled your eyes blowing out air. “Would you get married to someone you knew for three days?” Alastor hummed, tapping his finger against his chin in exaggerated thought. “If it were you, perhaps, otherwise i’d attempt to lengthen it just a bit.” He reviled in the sight of you bashfully turning your head away, shy at his broad flirt. “You’d marry me, after only three days?” You questioned in disbelief, he hummed wrapping the arm he once had behind you, around you pulling you into him.

“Well I found you to be quite a treat the first day i met you, and decided i wanted to be around you for many days on. Is that not marriage worthy?” This confession shocked you slightly. You never expected him to say that he preemptively planned your blooming friendship nevermind that he equated that to being worth marriage. The movie played on in the background as you both watched each other’s faces.

“To me, dear,” Alastor started a smug smile stretching across his cheeks replacing the calm smile that stayed for so long. “It seems like you may unconsciously feel something towards me too.” Jaw dropping you stared at him confused. “What?” You scoff but Alastor only looked smugger.

“Come now, New Orleans centred movie? Jazz, cooking, even that dumbo man Naveen speaks french loves jazz music and dancing, oh and of course the ever so obvious voodoo, it’s almost like this movie is me, haha.” He laughed manically, eyes crossing as his body shook. It was quite the egotistical assumption on his part, but he wasn’t wrong.

You put it on for him but it seems for you too, you paid more attention to him half the movie, and you’ve been more interested in knowing real life facts about his home during his time then what story the movie was trying to tell. Maybe he was right, but even so what did him pointing it out accomplish? “Well that’s why i wanted to show you it, it’s got many aspects you’re involved with in it.”

You mentally gave yourself a pat on the back for such a good save, however Alastor was keen and knew you long enough to catch your lies. “Sure dear, sure.” Al gave you a condescending pat on the head and you speedily swatted at him. The movie played on you once more captivated by Alastor’s reactions more than the movie itself, you’ve already watched it enough to know.

Tucked under Alastor’s arm, warm and comfy, you barely caught the sound of Alastor huffing out chuckles, gazing up towards the projection you playfully hit him. “Don’t laugh at his death!” That only made Alastor properly laugh, dropping his head back, neck cracking grossly. “My dear it was a lightning bug in love with a star! He got stepped on that was hilarious!”

Sounds of prerecorded laughter sounded out with his natural laugh, you didn’t actually care that he found it funny, only pretended too as you gave him a disapproving glare. As the movie closed in you felt a weird gloom wash over you, it was nice being alone with him by his side while you two relaxed. You didn’t want it ending, but alas Tiana and Naveen kissed turning them human, with the reveal that with marrying Naveen, she became a princess effectively breaking the curse, and the movie started with the end song.

“Well dear I did enjoy that, the voodoo was pretty boringly unrealistic, but it’s for children. I did enjoy the mentioning of foods, very common dishes even I enjoy, like gumbo. But alas it was still a pathetic little movie about mortal love.” Standing to his feet when he finished speaking, Alastor dusted himself off and snapped his fingers making all around you revert to what it was before movie night.

“Do you not want to be in love?” You ask softly partly hoping he didn’t hear you as by the time you stood from your spot, you regret saying it. “Well I certainly haven’t looked. Why disappointed?” Alastor bent himself backwards to look at you since you stood behind him readying to exit. Looking down into his eyes you felt hazy, maybe a little drunk on desire as you gently caressed his cheek. “Maybe I am,”

“Darling.” Alastor said sternly as he cracked himself upward, he bent down facing you this time and before he could talk you once again interrupted. “Can’t blame me can you?” Alastor seemed momentarily taken aback, gazing around lazily trying to collect his thoughts. “My dear, I'm uncertain with emotions like this as well as expressing them, love is foolish, however… if you were to tell me ‘i love you’ i would say it back.”

It confused you, what Alastor said, you couldn’t tell if he was mocking you and telling you he was going to lie about his emotions to spare you, or if he was egging you on attempting to get you to tell him your true feelings. Regardless you swallowed down any worries for the future instead focusing only on the now, and looked deeply into the soft red glow of his eyes.

“I love you Al,” With a cheeky smile you watched him stutter, the visible shock was clear, and you wondered if he actually expected you to say that. Just as you began to worry you fucked up, he bent down to your height. “I love you too my dear,” And with that he gave you the chastised kiss on the lips, before standing to his full height materialising his microphone. “Got to go dear! Duty calls!” And with that he seemingly disappeared into the shadows, leaving you to waddle tiredly to your room. Little did you know that Alastor whisked himself away to have a minor panic attack in the safety of his radio tower, not believing himself and his broad actions, nor could he believe the pounding in his chest and flutter in his heart.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oneshots #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor x reader #alastor hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x you #hazbin hotel alastor x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader fluff #alastor the radio demon

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lonelyquail · 2 years

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whenever I say "fuck I'm having such a kazuaki kin moment" I really mean "I'm more pathetic and mentally ill than I thought I was" I think this is an important thing to note

#well crying over calculus and being at least comforted that a bird would cry too is like #better than beating myself up over not being able to do said calculus #also for the record i use the word kin loosely i dont care abt like. doubles or spiritual whatevers its just literally guys i relate to #but for the record kazuaki/the king is THE kin like a guy was made to call 19 year old 2022 me out in 2015 and hes a whole bird #the rest are like (oh i relate to certain aspects) but literally the only things i dont relate to with kazuaki are like #i hate mmos. despite it all im still a stem major. i would never willingly be blonde.#thats it!!!

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gogogodzilla · 1 year

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Um I was wondering if you could write smut about connor and about if he can vibrate if yk what i mean cause i feel like im not the only person that thinks that androids can vibrate. please and thank you

Tease || Connor (RK800)

Summary: Connor can't wait until you get home.

Note Pt. 2: This is a spiritual epilogue of my completed Connor fanfic, Criminal Analysis!

Warnings: smut (obviously lol), afab reader, oral (reader receiving), fingering (connor has vibrating fingers), semi-public sex

{Masterlist}

You knew what you were doing— you were wearing those pants Connor liked. Really liked.

Of course, you had another reason to be wearing them other than riling him up. You knew that you’d be called into court eventually, that’s part of being a forensic psychologist, after all.

It all started that morning. You got to sleep in a little due to court and you relished the few extra moments of unconsciousness.

However, those moments lost their sweetness when you felt the cold, empty space beside you in bed. You blindly swatted the other side of the bed, hoping that if you reached just a little bit further you’d find your lover. He’d bring your groggy form into his embrace, and lull you back into a dreamless sleep.

Your grasps came up empty and you rolled onto your back with a huff. The bedroom door opened with a click, and soft footsteps echoed throughout the room. You peeked open an eye and struggled to fight the grin that appeared at the sight of your love.

Connor’s hair was neat as always, but he had exchanged his Cyberlife jacket with a normal suit jacket. It was a refreshing change.

Connor neared your side of the bed, and your grin grew. He bent down and pressed a soft, slow kiss to your temple and ran his fingers through your hair, smoothing out some of the tangles.

He slowly peppered kisses down your face, moving from your forehead, down to the space between your eyebrows, to the tip of your nose, and, finally, your lips.

You didn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss, the ache for him already growing. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged him towards you.

Connor knew better than to fall into your trap, especially when he was running late. He placed a hand beside your head to stop himself from coming any closer. That didn’t stop you from trying, though.

“I have to go,” he whispered as he gently pulled away.

You sighed dreamily as you sat up, “You should’ve woken me up sooner.”

“If we started,” Connor purred as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, “we wouldn’t be able to stop.”

You hummed in response as you slowly trailed your fingers up his thigh. He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, but you just grinned.

You settled for resting your hands on his belt buckle, “You can afford to be a few minutes late.”

Your argument was flawed, you knew that. Connor would rather cut off his own foot than be late. But, you also knew that you could be very persuasive.

Connor pried your hand from his belt buckle and gave you a placating smile, “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

You let out a huff as you threw yourself back on the bed with a groan. You’re lucky you didn’t crack your head on the headboard, but you didn’t really care at the moment.

Connor bent over and gave you a final kiss, whispering an ‘I love you’ against your lips. It was almost like you were Snow White, and he was your prince charming. Although, the only thing he’d awoken was a deep need throbbing between your legs. And then he was out the door.

You set your plan into motion almost immediately. You felt a bit giddy at the thought of Connor getting all hot and bothered just by the sight of you. Especially, if he wouldn’t get to touch you until later that night.

Your heart raced as you pushed open the glass door to the precinct. Your shoes clicked across the tile floor as you made your way through the turnstile and to your desk.

You ignored Connor’s eyes searing a hole in your back as you bent down slightly and slowly put the files you came for in your bag.

A low whistle sounded behind you, “Damn, sweetheart, what’re you all dressed up for?” Gavin called as he made his way to his desk, steaming mug clutched in his hand.

You rolled your eyes and fought off a grin. Gavin’s shameless flirting was playing right into your plan.

“If you must know,” you straightened and placed your hands on your hips, “some of us actually have to do our jobs.”

Gavin sat down and leaned back in his chair, “Very funny.”

You went back to your task, pretending to look in one of the drawers for something, making sure to give Connor a very good view.

“I think your plastic boy toy is malfunctioning,” Gavin snickered, and you stopped your fake search and looked up at Gavin. “He just practically ran to the bathroom.”

“I’ll go check on him,” you muttered as you closed the drawer to your desk.

Gavin put his feet up on his desk and sent you one of his blinks that’s meant to be a wink, “Yeah, you go ahead and check on him.”

You flushed as you turned away, your hurried steps echoing as you made your way to the bathroom. Gavin wasn’t stupid. Hell, you’d done the same thing when he’d pissed you off when you were dating.

Old habits died hard.

The door to the men’s bathroom silently shut behind you, and luckily only one stall was occupied. You locked the bathroom door with a click and sauntered over to the stall which contained the object of your desires. Well, more like the person of your desires.

“Connor,” you called out as you came to a stop in front of the stall door. A slight grin graced your features as you waited for him to answer.

The door opened in a flash, and you were pulled inside. Quicker than you could process, Connor had you pressed up against the door and had both of your hands caged in his and held above your head.

“You just couldn’t wait,” Connor taunted as he tilted his head to the side, letting his breath fan across your cheek. He slid his knee between your legs, allowing himself to get even closer.

You raised your head to look at him. “I dunno, seems like you’re the one who couldn’t wait.” He let out a sigh as he released your hands and raked them down your body. You had to be quick, Connor knew that. Although, that didn’t stop him from teasing you.

He gripped your thighs as he looked down at you and pressed a sloppy kiss to your lips. It was mostly tongue, but you were quick to wrap your arms around him and pull him impossibly closer to you.

Connor made quick work of undoing the buttons on your dress shirt as he pressed open-mouthed kisses down the column of your throat and gripped your hips tightly. He was searching for that spot that made you make those noises he liked. You ground your core against his thigh, attempting to get some sort of relief.

Once he successfully got your shirt all the way unbuttoned, he was quick to attack the newly exposed skin, licking and sucking to his heart’s desire. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged at the pieces at the nape of his neck eliciting a groan from him.

Connor gripped your waist as he moved his sloppy kisses down your abdomen and slowly got to his knees. You gazed down at him through your heavy lids. He moved to unbutton your pants, eager to finally touch you. His movements were practiced and precise as he pulled your pants down to your ankles. He let out a shaky breath when he realized you weren’t wearing any underwear.

You’d almost forgotten about that part of your plan.

He slotted himself neatly between your legs. He always fit so well there.

“So needy for me,” he breathed against your core as he caressed your inner thighs. You clenched them together but his grip held you in place. He pressed a kiss on the inside of your knee before slowly moving upward, avoiding where you needed him most.

You let out a groan, and Connor looked up at you.

“Use your words, Doctor,” he gently reminded before latching his lips onto your core. Your breath is promptly knocked out of you, and any retort you had died in your throat.

His grip tightened on your thighs as he desperately pulled you closer to him. His tongue expertly circled your clit as he found a rhythm that had your eyes rolling back. You gripped the hair at the nape of his neck, eliciting a moan that sent heavenly vibrations up your body.

You groaned at the sight of him— your slick had begun to coat his face and he showed no sign of slowing.

Connor slowly and sinfully pressed one finger inside you, which was quickly joined by another. You thrusted your hips forward, desperate to have even more of him. He pumped his fingers achingly slow, but a stream of vibrations caused you to jolt.

That was new.

A sly grin had curved into Connor’s face and he looked up at you, taking in the confusion mixed with arousal that graced your features. He pulled away from you for a moment, “I was saving that for later.”

“Fuck, Connor,” you whimpered.

“Be quiet,” Connor grunted into your core as he jutted his fingers deeper into you. You pressed a hand over your mouth to silence the breathy moans that were escaping you.

You trusted yourself for only a moment to whimper out, “Need you.”

Connor was more than happy to oblige you as he rose to his feet and pushed his fingers past your lips, making you taste yourself. You busied yourself with undoing his belt buckle, fingers clumsy as you revealed what you ached for.

Connor let out a shaky breath as you stroked him, and he met your strokes halfway. He gripped your thighs and in one swift motion lifted you up. He was practically bending you in half, but you didn’t mind.

He angled his cock up to your entrance, and agonizingly, slowly pushed inside you. The way he stretched you was delicious, and you let out a high-pitched mewl at the feeling.

He covered your mouth with one of his hands as he rutted inside of you and bottomed out. After a few moments, you started moving your hips, begging him to move. Mercifully, he obliged you and snapped his hips against yours. You let out a breathy moan against his hand, and he pressed sloppy kisses against your neck.

“You’re perfect,” he slurred into your shoulder, “couldn’t wait until tonight to have you.” He moved his hand from your mouth to resting on your neck, and he looked you in the eyes as he pounded into you. Connor brought his hand down to where you were joined and the vibrations continued once again.

You grip onto his bicep, that familiar coil beginning to tighten, and you panted heavily. “I’m close,” you whined.

“Come for me.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. You groaned and you felt your eyes roll back as you reached your high. You came hard as you involuntarily pushed your hips into Connor’s.

He came with your name gracing his lips along with a few other words. You attempted to catch your breath as Connor stilled within you.

“You’re going to be late,” he said matter-of-factly as he pressed a kiss to your temple. You huffed out a laugh, and Connor gently set you back down. You grabbed onto his shoulders while you waited for your legs to stop feeling like jelly.

Connor helped clean you up and make you look presentable. His hands were a lot steadier than yours at the moment.

You pressed a kiss to his cheek and grinned, “I should tease you more often."

#detroit become human #dbh connor #connor x reader #rk800 x reader #dbh rk800 #connor x reader smut #rk800 x reader smut #dbhsmut #dbh x reader #no y/n #rk800 x you #reader insert #zilla answers

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antiendovents · 1 month

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actually, since i already commented on your post about tulpas and how they pissed me off; im gonna do it again. in detail.

note: i am a former buddhist, i live in a buddhist country. (95% of thais are buddhists) and pretty much been surrounded by it. im asian. saying it before people jump at me because im terrified as shit

as i mentioned, tulpas are stolen and bastardized completely from a tribe of tibetan buddhists, and the practice itself isn't even a system thing. while thai buddhism and tibetan buddhism are different in their own way, i am very fucking pissed off that they just saw the concept of a thoughtform spirit that helps you meditate, overcome your fear and guide you to nirvana (because that's the main purpose of buddhism) and turn them into "oh! we make alters because we can due to our meditation and we're spiritual so that totally excuses using a generally closed practice! we're not harming anyone!" total bullshit.

i don't want (and sorry if i'm a bit mean) those bigoted fucks stealing basically my culture since im attached to buddhism in general, i grew up with it. and "tulpa systems" slapping it on themselves for the sake of being "unique". i have seen countless comments and posts about how its always the white/non asian people that say "no its not a closed practice, its not cultural appropriation :) actually you should be glad we're appreciating your culture in the first place" fuck off! appreciating culture is fine, but you bastardize it so much and dumb it down to just "making alters/imaginary friends" are you just hearing yourself? are you stupid? are you braindead? god, im getting so angry again.

i have also seen "tulpamancers" insulting actual asians like me who speak against tulpas, saying that we're just "asian token of a character" or that we're "closed minded" and should accept these assholes who dont know what theyre doing into my culture and blatantly disrespecting it, spitting on it and just taking one practice that fits their narrative. wow, talk about being appreciative while half of your community does shit like this to actual buddhists, huh? real nice of you. way to go, you cultural appropriating fucks. /vneg

i cannot count how many times asian culture is so whitewashed on the internet, people that just take our tradition and do whatever the hell they want with it, including making a system out of thoughtforms, which is not possible whatsoever. and for what? FOR WHAT? for your own sick entertainment and enjoyment of having a imaginary friend in your head? try dissociating so hard you cry yourself to sleep you absolute pillock. this is a very angry submission, but it just frustrates me so much. all of the insulting "yous" are directed towards "tulpamancers" that they proudly call themselves. by the way. sorry if it sounded like it was directed at you, im just so angry at the moment.

one last thing. Stop. Using. The Term. Tulpa. For your system. Please!!!!. tulpa systems are not a thing and will never be. End of story. Nothing will change that. Endos fuck off. im sick of your shit. thanks for reading my angry rant.

-azriel for the majority of this, rox/virus proofreading some of the parts, thanks for letting us vent ^^

i dont have much to add, please read this ^^

#important psa about tuplas #no you can't be a tupla system #fuck off #endos dni #tupla systems dni #anti endo #did #did system #plural #actually did #alters #system #endos fuck off #did osdd

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plutonianeris · 1 year

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pick a pile: how you secretly intimidate others ⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️

♱☾pile one☽

“don’t call me baby! im not your baby!”

you intimidate others with your individuality. There’s something about you that’s very weird or kind of quirky. not in the “oh im not like other gwurls 🤪” cringey way. but rather you’re kind of blunt even when you don’t mean to be other people might think that what you say is too harsh or direct. This seems to be some thing that might throw off men as well but at the same time it’s also make some desire you. That free spirit can be seen as something that other people want in their life but it’s not always with the best intentions. It’s kind of like they want you to fulfill something for them. Kind of like to conquer you in a way. But it seems like that literally never happens because instead, you’re literally a tower moment for other people in their lives.

Just by being you, you unconsciously force other people to reflect on certain things in their life. you guys people specifically to reflect on their insecurities, and also their childhood. You could find that people, especially women project onto you. they could look at you and mumble under their breath or too each other like “what the fuck is their problem” or talk about how you think you “know it all”

it seems like people are just really intimidated by your knowledge and what you have to share with other people. you might have some Aquarius placements. Whether what you share with others is topics about religion or spirituality or “taboo” subjects, other people could be thrown off by your words, while at the same time secretly want to hear more.

this pile, gave off a lot of scorpio and/or aries and/ or libra & taurus energy and 8th house/ pluto aspects energy. when I asked about qualities people associate with you I got “ regeneration, suspicion, passion, beautiful, art, experimentation, intelligent, creativity, wisdom.” 🕯️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile two☽

“no, I’m killing boys.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you can rise from the ashes and transform completely after going through super traumatic shit. The way you seem to be able to recover from stuff that can be straight out of someone’s nightmare and manage to come out on top is inspiring but also it makes other people feel insecure. pile two, other people seem to think that you somehow just “get lucky” when something really good happens to you. People might think that you didn’t have to work that hard for it. They could secretly send you evil eye and think oh I wish that would’ve happened to me instead..

shit I’m not gonna lie I feel in awe and a little shook reading these cards describing your energy. you are literally an alchemist. You transform everything you touch and you transform after every experience with a lot of grace and harmony. lmfaoo the quote from “what? like its hard” from legally blonde popped up. The thing is that it actually is hard but you’ve been doing it for so long. There’s no other way for you to really function. You manage to continuously strengthen your spirituality over and over again.

and there’s a certain element of privacy that you also keep when it comes to your home life and the space you live in and also in regards to what you’re even thinking. It kind of leaves people in constant speculation of who you are what you actually do or where you even live. but this privacy seems necessary to you, sacred to you actually. Your personality, ego, and the way you view yourself are in a constant state of fluctuation. But never in a way that ends up being super detrimental to you. even when you “mess up” you learn something and get better.

you are someone that is very strong and I don’t wanna say that like in a corny “omg ur saiuuir strong u went through so much :(“ pity way. I literally mean just a very unique kind of perseverance within your spirit where time after time you just can’t be knocked down. And other people wonder about that, but they’re not even close to being able to dissect it & that intimidates them.

You could be someone that has a lot of 12th house or fourth house placements, as well as Jupiter, Sagittarius, or Pluto prominent in the chart. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “independent, knowledgeable, transformation, roots, subconscious, potential, hope” 🔐

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile three☽

“how do you feel about yourself now stupid motherfucker? you couldve had some pussy.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you run shit. You have a very straightforward and innovative, and out of the box solution for many of the obstacles you face in life. Similar to pile 2 there is resentment in response to the way you succeed. But when it comes to you it’s more because of the way you do things. people might think “oh it’s not fair that they did it that way and won..” but in reality, you have a unique power being able to bounce back really fast from shit. you don’t mind being someone brand new every single day or changing your habits or routines, or the way you connect with people were your resources very quickly.

In fact, you’re constantly flowing in these spaces of rebirth and attatchment and security. and that intimidate people because they wonder well how is it possible that you’re changing your character and your appearance and your own self all the time and YOU dont care if people label it as a fake or weird. Like I’m not gonna lie this piles giving off someone who has such a range of random aesthetics that ppl r like seeing u as someone who dresses up or is wearing a costume when in reality you just feel transformed by your experiences so frequently.

its giving “im not the person who i was yesterday” so don’t try it today energy. it intimidates people that you’re not ashamed of changing your mind and being like “ well actually I used to like that and now I don’t like it anymore, so can you please respect the boundaries I set up now.”

you TRUST yourself. and not only does that intimidate people but it also makes them MAD. chiron aka trauma, wounds, healing, pain etc popped up, so it doesn’t mean that all your life you had this confidence or ability to listen to yourself and your intuition. If anything you suffered a lot and had a period of time (especially in childhood) were you were taught to not listen to yourself or your intuition. where you were told that if you showed leadership and willpower, and if you used your anger and embraces your anger, that bad things would happen.

But then, finally, you did and you realized that you get so much more from life when you show people how to treat you from the start. And other people want to be able to do that. And you securely inspire them to do that but it’s also a mixture of envy as well thats included in those feelings toward you. oh well. protect your peace! you could be someone that has aries, first house, 8th house and 2nd house placements. 888 also popped up if that has any significance to you. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “secure, possessive, leader, warrior, loyal.”⚖️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

#pac #pick a deck #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #astro tarot #astrology #intuitive reading #pick a pile reading #pick an image reading #astrology readings #astro reading #plutonianeris #tarot reading

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youremyheaven · 1 month

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Ketu: Detachment & Connection

I thought I would expand more on the nature of Ketu in this post. Although both Rahu and Ketu are shadow planets (they are the north and south node of the moon) they experience this darkness very differently. Rahu seeks intense immersion in their experiences and seeks to absorb as much of their material realm (Rahu is the head) but Ketu is disconnected from this completely (Ketu being the headless torso) and even if they want to, they cannot immerse themselves in the material realm, they find it disorienting or simply feel disconnected from it all. Its meaningless to them.

The Ketu nakshatras are Ashwini, Magha & Mula

Ketu is in the darkness and to be Ketuvian is to be in a tunnel perpetually seeking the light. It can be a very uneasy energy to inhabit if imbalanced but this is why spirituality is so important to Ketu natives, they have to cultivate spiritual discipline if they are to peacefully embody this energy and find clarity in its detachment. Most people struggle with overattachment, so having this Ketuvian energy is a great starting point since you're already detached but grounding is very important as there is such a thing as being too detached or uncaring.

The Ketuvian struggle for connection reminds me of certain 8h themes and I think 8housers and Ketuvians have a lot in common in that regard. You need to have an intense kind of connection to feel anything at all, everything else feels kind of mild to your senses. Only intensity can wake you up and make you feel "awake" or "aware" as Ketuvians are sort of in this passive detached state otherwise.

I noticed many of these themes in Jungkook's solo songs. He is a Magha Moon and Mula Rising (he has such a puppy energy, it must be Mula's dog yoni hehe)

I had mentioned in one of my previous posts that being heavily tatted (a full sleeve of tattoos or just being covered in tattoos) is a very Nodal thing to do because they're plunged in shadows and making a mark spiritually helps them feel more connected or because they have to indulge in the extremes of anything for it to feel impactful.

Jungkook has a song called "Still With You" released in 2020, widely considered a love letter to army. These are the English translation of some of its lyrics that I found correlating to his Ketuvian energy

"That faint voice of yours that grazed me Please call my name one more time I'm standing under the frozen light, but I'll walk step by step towards you Still with you

With no light in the darkroom I shouldn't get used to it But I'm used to it again The low-pitched sound of this air conditioner If I don't have this, I will fall apart We laugh together, we cry together I guess these simple feelings were everything to me"

Fame can be a very intoxicating and addictive experience for Nodal natives. Since they feel very disconnected otherwise, they experience connection when it is pouring in such a large or vast scale. But this sort of dependence on fame and fans can also be destabilising and unhealthy because you never know when it might all go away. Since fame is so fickle, its dangerous to rely on it to feel "connected". This is why soooo many Nodal natives who are celebrities are sooo often self-destructive. You keep chasing that high and you'll never feel satisfied, you can never fill the vacuum you have and the harder you try, the more empty you feel.

I don't say any of this to be discouraging, im only trying to point out the emotional expectations we place upon certain experiences and even relationships and how it turns toxic and unhealthy when we do that. If we were to use another person to feel connected or tethered to the world, whilst it may work for us, they must feel very drained by being our anchor.

Jungkook has another demo called Decalcomania and the lyrics go like this:

When I see you smile in the screen You're good at everything You're just perfect Feels like I've never been you

Do you even see me? Do you know who I am? Or how do I look now? You don't like me like that

Come and tell me so much, you beautiful heart Oh, I'm gonna listen to you Please

All the numbers too big Can't get out of your game Oh, I want to paint it like you Please

I want to be your decalcomania I want you I want to be your decalcomania I want I want you

He is singing about himself and how he feels dissociated from himself. Fame can be a very dissociative experience for Ketu natives as their search for connection means they feel even more disconnected from the person they become to achieve this connection. Decalcomania refers to the process by which engravings are transferred to another surface (paper, pottery etc). It ties back to Ketu's need to be marked upon, they need something to make an impression on them, literally, because otherwise it does not feel real to them. Jungkook is asking himself to transfer the person he sees on screen to himself, so that he can embody the lightness and joy he sees on him.

Jungkook has another solo song called My Time in which he sings:

"24, feels like I became a grown-up faster than everyone else My life has been a movie, all the time I ran to where the sun rises every single night It's like I've been to someone's tomorrow The boy who found the world too big Keep on runnin' errday, pick the mic up Friends ridin' subway, I'll be in the aeroplane mode All over the world rock on, I made my own lotto But is it too fast? There are traces of losses Don't know what to do with, am I livin' this right? Why am I alone in a different time and space?"

Nodal natives (both Rahu & Ketu) regardless of whether they're child stars or not, have to grow up faster than others. This again makes them feel very disconnected from kids their age, you feel vv lonely.

Oh, I think I was in yesterday 'Cause everybody walk too fast I'm a little kid grown up not knowing it (Like a child who got lost) This got me oh just trippin’ It feels I'm roaming over Don't know what to do with, am I livin' this right? Why am I alone in a different time and space?

It feels confusing and disorienting to live a life that others cant relate to you. Immense wealth and fame can make you feel this way but Ketuvians feel this way in general. They look around them and they feel lost like everybody else is moving too fast.

"Sometimes when I'm gasping for air I wear my hat low and keep running Yeah, I don't gotta know where I go Even if it's opposite of sun One time for the present Two time for the past Happy that we met each other Now 'til the very end"

He's expressing his gratitude for everything even though it feels so alienating and confusing.

There is another song called Stay Alive in which he sings:

"그림잔 커져가지만 Although my shadow grows larger,

괜찮아 너란 큰 빛 덕분이니 It’s okay because it’s thanks to the great light that is you"

This is such a sincere explanation of what its like to be a Ketuvian in the limelight, he's thankful for having such a vast fanbase, the source of his "light" (remember that Ketu is in darkness and is always seeking light) but chasing this light means having to morph into somebody else/feeling disconnected from yourself which he succinctly expresses through the line "my shadow grows larger". Since Ketu is in perpetual darkness and is a shadow planet, it does not confront its shadow on its own. Its the seeking, the constant chasing for the light which they need that brings them to see their shadow.

Perhaps you feel very void and disconnected in general but you have a friend or a partner who makes you feel very tethered, through them you absorb their light but this also means you learn to look at yourself more clearly (Ketuvians are blind to their own nature) and this can be a very disconcerting and difficult experience if you've seldom ever felt "seen".

Emma Watson, Ashwini Sun, Mula Moon

I remember reading this interview in like 2010 where she said that whilst doing red carpets for the last Harry Potter movies she would have these moments where she looked into the mirror and felt very disconnected from the person she saw.

She subsequently turned to yoga and meditation and is even a certified yoga instructor. She has also mentioned going on silent retreats.

Ketu natives truly find balance in their lives when they cultivate a spiritual practice and devote themselves to it. Emma has largely stayed out of the limelight in the last decade or so and will probably continue to do so, this is very Ketuvian again, these natives find social interactions, especially the kind of intensive press tour celebrity life to be very draining, they need to retreat and do things in a way that is "real" to them. Emma has spoken about taking a break from acting and working behind the scenes.

Jungkook deleted his IG despite having 40+ million followers and like most Ketu natives he is very private and has no social media. It does not feel natural or real to them.

In her British Vogue interview, Emma said,

"...Her characters have felt, at times, “much realer” than she was. “I’m just so glad that I did [step away from acting] because I have this feeling of having my own voice and creative space and sovereignty in some way that I don’t think I did before".

This time has allowed Watson to concentrate on her “inner scorecard” (how you feel about yourself on the inside), versus her “outer scorecard” (your outward success, as seen on social media, for example). “I get a front row seat [with] some of the most successful, beautiful, incredible people in the world,” she says of Hollywood’s inner sanctum. “And when you have that seat it becomes very, very clear that there is just absolutely no level of success that will make you in any way happy or content if you do not like who you are or enjoy what you’re doing when no one’s watching.”

All of this feels like evolved, balanced and mature Ketu energy.

Miranda Kerr, Ashwini Sun

She is another person who I've always thought embodies a very healthy and evolved Ketuvian energy

Here's an excerpt from her interview:

“First, I try to do a little meditation and yoga, depending on how I feel. I've been meditating since I was 18. I've learnt Transcendental Meditation and Kriya Yoga Meditation, but sometimes I'm just too much in my head and so I need to put on an app. I use Insight Timer, which has different guided meditations, from a five- or 10-minute meditation or deeper ones which help if I can't sleep.

“Gratitude puts everything into perspective. The way that we speak to ourselves is really important, and to be aware to pull yourself up if you’re being self-critical and try and look at things in a positive way. For example, we can look outside and say, ‘oh my goodness, I can't believe it's raining’, or we can look outside and go, ‘well, it's cosy when it rains, I'd love to be inside and I get to wear my favourite scarf’ – we can switch our whole perspective on so many things. For me, waking up in the morning and thinking of at least three things I’m grateful for is so important. Just simple things like, ‘I’m grateful that we have fresh running water’.”

Salma Hayek, Magha Rising

Salma has been practising meditation and yoga for decades and has said: “It’s actually feeling the energy,” she said. “It moves and it dances inside of you, different sensations and emotions. So I use a lot of the frequency machines.”

Hayek claimed that her meditation works wonders for her appearance. “Sometimes when I’m doing it, people tell me when I come out of the room, ‘Oh my god. You look 20 again,'" she said.

She also warned that if she stopped meditating, her face would suffer. “When I don’t do it for a while, guess what?” she said. “The face starts to drop and everything starts to drop.”

Spirituality comes easier for women than men imo and Ketuvian women are more likely to buy into all things spiritual like crystal cleansing, chakra reading and even other offbeat spiritual techniques.

Gigi Hadid, Ashwini Sun & Rising

Gigi is another person who embodies really healthy Ketuvian energy

In her interviews, she always sounds very grounded and tethered. She said:

"I got pregnant and I really started to think about what I wanted after, when the world opened back up. (she got pregnant during covid) It kept coming back to just a more stabilized schedule where I’m not in a different country every week. This is very stabilizing. I have an office that I come to. I know everyone here. I don’t have to look a certain way to show up. It’s a different experience for me, and it was the right time because I was ready for that,”

To realize what is causing you to feel unstable and deliberately manoeuvre your life to create that stability requires self-awareness and maturity.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mula Moon

He has talked about how bodybuilding and building his physique really helped him feel connected to himself in a different way. I think this is an interesting manifestation of Ketu's disconnection and need to go to extremes to feel anything. Arnold's workout routine from his Mr World days is pretty insane, he worked harder than anybody else and was single-mindedly focused on it. Pushing yourself to such extremes and committing to it is difficult but those Ketuvians who can do so will benefit from it immensely.

Ketu is detached from the material realm. For a Ketu native that isn't tuned into their spiritual side, this can mean feeling disconnected in general but the blessings of retreating to spirituality, slowness, stillness etc means shifting to a version of life where you feel anchored within yourself without depending on anybody or anything to feel that way.

All of the people I mentioned above turned away from the spotlight or made choices to make their lives more grounded and stable and as a result they feel content and satiated. They are detached from the material realm but firmly tethered to the things that matter to them.

I just wanted to make a brief post about how Ketuvians embrace their shadows and how spirituality anchors them.

I hope this was insightful.

#astrology notes #astrology observations #sidereal astrology #vedic astro notes #nakshatras #vedic astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astrology #astroblr #ketu #magha #mula #ashwini

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genderkoolaid · 10 months

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sorry im gonna aut out for a second going off these tags

this book is so fucking aggravating because the author's (cis man. ofc.) reasoning for why the P.U.F isn't trans is because they didn't seem to struggle with their gender before becoming the P.U.F (we have no way of knowing this btw. not only do we have limited information on their personal life before transitioning, but whose to say they ever showed signs of being trans openly? whose to say their near-death experience didn't awaken something inside them?) and since their rebirth was due to "spiritual factors" instead "some long-term struggle over [their] identity" (because it would have to be a struggle, right?), we should only view them in the context of women's history and not trans* history.

which makes me want to rend flesh with my teeth!!!! sir you CANNOT separate spirituality from identity like that. were the priestesses of inanna not trans* despite taking on women's clothing, names, language, because they viewed their gender as a spiritual event? its so ridiculous to take someone who literally changed their entire identity because of this spiritual rebirth, and then call them by their birth name and she/her pronouns and be like "well since SHE didn't struggle with HER gender before, then SHE isn't trans!"

and its not like this is some "ohh we don't know what they would have wanted," the P.U.F made it very clear they were not Jemima, they would not tolerate being seen as her, they dressed androgynously on purpose, their followers considered them a neutral spirit. They identified as the Public Universal Friend, it doesn't matter whether you think they really were a spirit from Heaven. They did everything possible to express "I am not who I used to be and my gender is not the same as it was," how is this not trans??????? Because they weren't the fucking textbook transsexual that is the only True Trans allowed to exist???????? god forbid a trans* person's gender be more than some hellish struggle. god forbid other parts of our identity affect our gender and be inseparable. and god forbid a trans* person assigned female do literally anything because if they aren't a cis woman somehow their defiance of the patriarchy is no longer radical. paul moyer meet me in the fucking parking lot i'm gonna break your nose what is this shit. can't trust a cis to do a trans' job.

#m.#''from a perspective that privileges biological sex over the more flexible construct of gender'' privilege my foot up your ass #he literally admits they would have disagreed with being labeled a woman pioneer but fuck them i guess!!!!!!

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korizzybee · 6 months

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Imagine being Jake Sully’s and Neytiri’s adopted daughter, child of someone who was an old friend of Jake’s:

Info: reader’s mom’s avatar had darkskin black features (Afro hair + dark eyes + dark blue skin) so reader also has those features, reader has an Jamaican accent, reader is Navi Avatar hybrid and has 5 fingers and eyebrows, reader is 13 years old

Boom your mom was 5 years old when she moved from Jamaica to North America, she and Jake became childhood friends (more like they became soul siblings)

The same day the RDA recruited Jake, they recruited your mother too

She also spends time observing the Navi and learning their ways with Jake, but Tsu’Tey was her teacher instead

As she lives there for months, she and Tsu’Tey fall in love and mate at the tree of spirits (JAKE N NEYTIRI DUUUUPE)

She and Neytiri actually became pregnant at the same time, literally shortly after they both mate with their men at the spirit trees

Your dad dies during the war yada yada yada, they win and skip boring stuff

For some reason when Neytiri has her baby, your mother is unable to give birth to you and she remains pregnant for 2 more years

The pregnancy drains her energy, making her look even skinnier and her skin color fade as her cheeks become hollow

When she finally gives birth and before she dies she whispers a name that’s a mixture between her’s and Tsu’Tey’s

Neytiri holds your small crying form silently shushing you while Jake cries over your mom’s dead body, she was like an older sister to him

Jake adopts you and when you’re old enough he starts teaching you about your human culture as it was a big part of your mother’s life and she loved her culture more than anything

This leads him to also explaining why you’re different from all the other Omaticaya, but he also explains it’s not a bad thing

You growing up with mixing your life with both your Navi and Jamaican cultures

You are the closest to Neteyam, he’s SOOOOO protective over you (you are his favorite shhhh don’t tell Lo’ak)

Since you’re a lot shorter than your older siblings, you often get carried by them

Jake teaching you so much about humans, pop culture references, music tastes n everything!!!! (Girl you literally take inspiration from his teachings and make your own clothing style out of Navi clothes)

Neytiri making you the most beautiful song cord ever about the love story of your mom and Tsu’Tey and your birth

You and Kiri bonding over both being adopted

You and Tuk are so goofy together, always making Neytiri laugh n shi

You two also bond over being the babies of the family

You and Lo’ak always playing tag in the forest

You immediately loved spider when you all first met him as little kids, (I mean, your mom was once human so you didn’t hate them at all)

ALWAYS wearing your mother’s Na’vi and human hair pieces and your father’s necklaces

Jake teaching you how to fight the human way because your mom was better than everyone in the RDA at that

Going to the Lab with Kiri to see videos of your moms together (they also grew to be close friends and would sometimes just make videos of them being stupid together)

Jake and Neytiri are the only ones allowed to do your hair (your mom taught them how to take care of Afro hair once), they make sure your hair is always healthy

You look so much like your mom but you get your smile, eye shape, and bodily markings from Tsu’Tey

When you can’t sleep, Jake would tell you his childhood memories about your mom

You’re a very spiritual child, always talking with a calm voice, you’re a little shy and always have a good opinion on everyone (girl while Neteyam finna future clan leader, you’re the future Tsahik)

Boom Quaritch bitch ass shows back up (YALL IM SORRY BUT HIS AVATAR IS SO FINEEEEE) and y’all have to flee

You have your own Ikran and she’s named after your mother (let’s just call her Irie)

Y’all make it to the lands of the Metkayina and Ronal starts hating on y’all for being different then she points out how your hair and looks over all are different from your family’s

Neytiri hissing at her as Neteyam and puts you behind him side eyeing Ronal, Jake defending your looks (W DAD)

Y’all get to live among the clan and lowkey….Rotxo he kind of crushing on you I mean not tryna be that one writer butttt uhhh you are the prettiest member of your family (behind Neytiri no one beats her)

You and Rotxo lowkey be flirting with your eyes, giving each other shy looks and blushing like middle schoolers

BUT ANYWAYS THAT’S IT FOR PART 1 IMA DO A PART 2 (this has been marinating in my drafts for months)

#korizzybee’s work #x black reader #avatar 2 x reader #avatar x reader #atwow #atwow x reader #roxto x reader #roxto avatar #jake sully x daughter reader #jake sully #neteyam imagine #neteyam #neytiri #kiri sully #tuktirey #loak sully #james cameron avatar

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torukmaktoskxawng · 11 months

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‘anla - part five

Masterlist

Summary: A child's neglect and a father's inner turmoil finally comes to a head. Y/n takes a leap of faith, both literally and figuratively.

Pairing: Ao'nung/Fem!Na'vi!Sully Reader

Warnings: Mature language, time skips, HEAVY angst, depression, older sibling syndrome, mentions of death, canon compliance, father/daughter trouble, fluff, etc.

posted on ao3

Word Count: 6k+

Tag: #'anla ao'nung fic

Na'vi Words: ikran - Mountain Banshee, tsahik - spiritual leader, Iknimaya - Rite of Passage, tawtute - human, tsmuktu - sibling, marui - home, olo'eyktan - clan leader, kalweyaveng - son of a bitch, ilu - dolphin like animal, Sänrr Rong - Glow Tunnel, frakrr - always

Taglist (bold indicates “could not tag”): @bangtanxberm @aonungmyaddiction @lv9su @aisselasstuff @yourusername1 @amortencjja @king-julian6201 @gg-trini @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @mikeyswifie @heart-an0n @iloveavatar @urdads-gf

Ronal always had perfect timing, and today was no different. She found herself with an empty basket in her arms as she walked into the jungle in search of specific plants. She had walked for a bit before she noticed a shadow cast over her form. Looking up, Ronal watched an ikran fly overhead and land on the strong branches of a large tree, its rider jumping off and landing on the branch gracefully. Ronal took an educated guess on who the rider was and called up with her strict, ever so formal voice, "Y/n te Suli."

A head and a pair of ears perk up at her name, then Y/n looks down to see who had called her. Eyes slightly wide in surprise, she shakes off the shock and climbs down the tree, landing strongly on her legs in front of Ronal. She keeps her eyes dutifully lowered out of respect, keeping her expression stern and impassive as she touched her forehead then lowered her hand toward Ronal, "Ma tsahik."

Ronal appreciates the formality despite the way she shoved the empty basket in the young girl's arms, "I need to restock my herbs and materials, and there are certain components that require climbing. I could use you for those instances."

Y/n took one glance down at Ronal's baby bump before nodding in submission, following the tsahik through the jungle in search of her ingredients. They do their work in silence, Ronal occasionally explaining certain depictions of a plant Y/n needed to look for before sending the girl up a tree, but other than that, they don't mutter another word. That is, until after Ronal deemed the assortment of acquired plants enough for her stock and walked with Y/n all the way back to the village. The walk through the jungle had been tense and Y/n didn't know how to entertain or even converse with Ronal. The tsahik was an intimidating woman, sometimes more so than her own mother. Y/n doubted that Neytiri and Ronal ever spoke a word to each other even as the Metkayina was teaching the Omatikaya woman her ways. If Neytiri didn't know what to say to Ronal, Y/n doubted she could either.

However, Ronal spoke first, and she spoke as bluntly as ever, "So it would appear that your brother has taken a liking to my daughter."

Y/n sputtered, surprised by the older woman's statement as she tries clambering for a more appropriate response. She knew that whatever was going on between Lo'ak and Tsireya was sweet and strictly innocent -for the time being- but for it to come to Ronal's attention was a bit concerning, to say the least, "Oh... uh... has he?"

Ronal doesn't appreciate the unintelligent stutter, ears flattening as she narrows her gaze at the forest child, "I am not stupid, girl, and neither are you. So quit pretending that you are."

There's a slight shift between them, and some sort of mask slips from Y/n's face right before Ronal's very eyes. The Metkayina tsahik observes the way Y/n straightens her posture and sternly frowns, glaring at the path ahead of her instead of at Ronal. Clearly, she didn't appreciate the insult, "What would you like me to say? That I disapprove? Technically, I don't."

Ronal wasn't one to turn down a challenge, and she was already intrigued by this side of Y/n, "Explain."

"Na'vi have mated with other Na'vi from different clans before, at least where I'm from. It's not unusual."

"You think that is why one must disapprove?"

"What else is there to disapprove of? That they're young?" Y/n nods in agreement, "They are, and obviously, they should wait until they finish their Iknimaya, but that shouldn't deter them from choosing one another."

"I see."

Y/n spares a glance at Ronal, narrowing her eyes with as much bravery as she could muster, "But I know that's not why you disapprove."

Ronal quirks an eyebrow ridge, challenging the girl, "No?"

"You disapprove because Lo'ak is a half-breed. Part tawtute." Ronal doesn't answer Y/n's accusation and instead watches silently as Y/n raised her five-fingered hand up to her face, examining the offending limb with pinned ears and sad eyes. Y/n brings her hand back down, still walking beside Ronal even as she started to feel small, "Maybe your son was right. That we are freaks... but your daughter doesn't see us as freaks. She thinks we're special, especially Lo'ak. I mean, it's not every day you have Omatikaya half-breeds bonding with a tulkun around here, right? Lo'ak has done the impossible and he should be given more respect as the son of Toruk Makto."

Her words were strong, stronger than Ronal has ever heard from Jakesully's oldest daughter. She knew Y/n was once strong-willed, remembering the day Ao'nung crawled back home and mentioned how Y/n broke up a fight with him and her brothers using her ikran and strongly-worded threats. But as of late, Y/n has barely spoken to anyone except for her remaining siblings and friends. Ronal couldn't recall the last time Y/n spoke in either her or her mate's presence, usually leaving her parents to do the talking. Somehow, the once mute girl let her mask slip in her little brother's defense, walking confidently beside the tsahik who dared to insult her family. Ronal had to give credit where it was due. There weren't many people alive who would dare speak to her so proudly and without courtesies.

"You are a boldly spoken girl, Y/n te Suli Neytiri'ite. Although my children tell me that you don't speak as much of late."

Her tail droops closer to her side as they walk, and Y/n doesn't bother hiding her shame, "I guess not. There isn't much to talk about."

"No?" Understanding etches across Ronal's elegant features, adjusting the basket in her arms as she pins her eyes ahead of her as they walked, "I suppose you are much like me that way. I let my mate do the talking if I think the need to talk is pointless or exhausting. I prefer to sing."

She catches Y/n's tail perking up in surprise, and it took a lot of willpower not to smirk as her amusement flourished in her chest. Y/n's jaw nearly gapes open, "You sing?"

"Yes... my Spirit Sister, Ro'a, she would sing with me."

Y/n immediately regrets asking, instantly catching the wave of sadness and distress that washes over the tsahik. It was still a loss she carried close to her chest, and Y/n understood where she was coming from and how she felt. They had both lost someone dear to them that fateful day, and the wounds still bled as if the loss was still fresh.

Y/n decided that she didn't like Ronal bleeding alone and feeling so vulnerable, allowing herself to remember bittersweet memories of her own, "... Neteyam would fly with me. All the time, whenever I asked. While we fly, he'd listen to me whenever I needed to vent my anger."

Ronal looks back at the forest girl, nearly a young woman. The tsahik's expression was impassive and Y/n could tell the gears in her head were spinning, but unsure of the what or why. Ronal nods solemnly, "I no longer prefer to sing. You no longer prefer to talk. Do you believe our tsmuktu would wish that for us?"

Neither female had thought of that before, and for some reason, whatever conclusion came to mind, the thought lifted their spirits, even if only for a little while. Y/n felt lighter for the first time in a while, since before Neteyam's death, and she didn't feel shame in letting her eyes get warm and blurry, the path ahead a little unidentifiable. Ronal doesn't comment and lets the girl shed her silent tears as the pair finally makes it to the edge of the jungle, spotting the village right up ahead. Y/n quickly wipes away her tears and just in time, too. As they approached the village, Ao'nung was sighted walking up to them. He had seen Y/n first and grinned widely, but the expression quickly falls when he noticed the woman walking beside her. Jogging up to his friend and his mother, he glanced between them with caution, waiting for either bomb to go off if one of them spoke.

When neither woman spoke, Ao'nung broke the ice first, addressing the Omatikaya girl, "Hey, Y/n. Rotxo and I are going bodysurfing later and we thought you might want to join."

Ronal spared a glance at Y/n and caught the forest girl smiling for the first time, but she wasn't smiling at Ronal. The tsahik followed her gaze until her own eyes landed on Ao'nung, and suddenly some puzzle pieces were fitting into place. Ao'nung was smiling back, and it wasn't one of his usual smirks or promises of trouble. He was smiling, genuine and happy.

Ronal ignores her son for the moment, turning to Y/n before the girl could even give Ao'nung her answer, "Thank you for your help, child. You may go now."

Y/n quickly broke out of her train of thought, remembering where she was, and dropped the smile. She nods to Ronal before sparing a lingering glance at Ao'nung, walking away as she spoke over her shoulder, "See ya later, Seawee-- Ao'nung."

Ao'nung had laughed even as the girl vanished from sight. Ronal sternly cleared her throat and the laughter immediately stops, the boy straightening his spine, standing in attention to his mother. The tsahik decides to stare at him for a long period of time in order to make him squirm uncomfortably, then she bluntly asks the question buzzing in her mind,

"Do you wish to court Y/n?"

The question stuns Ao'nung, his ears and eyebrow ridges sticking straight up to the sky. He gapes like a fish, trying to find an appropriate answer. Ronal felt a little smug and satisfied as a darker shade of blue begins to form underneath her son's skin, even without a straight answer. Serves him right. Ronal knew she was going to need to fuss over Tsireya's infatuation with the Sully boy, but she didn't think she'd have to fuss over her own son so soon. Why were her children growing up before their little sibling entered the world?

Finally, Ao'nung lowers his gaze to his feet as he forces out a single word, "No."

Her brow ridge rose, a little surprised by the answer, "Why not?"

She was prepared for him to say many things, like how Y/n was not true Na'vi or that she was of a different clan, but Ronal wasn't prepared for when her son finally answered, "Because she's hurt right now. She lost her brother. I just... want to be there when she's ready."

Ronal tilts her head, curious, "For what?"

Ao'nung had the decency to look bashful, shrinking into his shoulders and lowering his ears. He looked as though he didn't have an answer either, unsure of himself while questioning the words on his tongue, "Moving on with her life? Is that stupid?"

She knows her son has every right to feel vulnerable around her, as his mother, but Ronal couldn't help but roll her eyes at his idiocy. With her basket under one arm, she loops the other through Ao'nung's and begins tugging him back in the direction of their family's marui, "No, son... but she said you once called her a freak. Surely you don't feel that way if you wish to court her?"

He bristles with annoyance, a trait he, unfortunately, inherited from Ronal, "Mother--"

"Fine. 'Not' court her."

Ao'nung relaxes his shoulders a little, his voice softening, "I don't think she's a freak. I think she's amazing."

Ronal hums, nodding occasionally to any Metkayina they pass by as mother and son trudge through the pathways of their village, "So. You do not wish to court her. Not right now at least. You are waiting for her."

"Yeah. I... I guess I am."

"You cannot guess," Ronal spoke sternly, stopping in her tracks and forcing her son to do the same as she glared him down, "You have to be sure, Ao'nung. You are our future olo'eyktan and you cannot afford to second-guess yourself. And you certainly cannot second-guess yourself when choosing a mate. It is for life, boy, do you understand?"

Ao'nung gulps and quickly corrects himself, "Yes. I'm sorry, Mother, I guess--" he winced when her eyes narrowed, "I mean, I'm just confused. I thought you would disapprove of Y/n."

Understanding the hidden question, she hisses under her breath and begins walking again, pulling Ao'nung along, "I will admit. She's not someone I would choose for you. She is not a healer and she prefers the sky over the sea. But it has never been my choice and she is Metkayina now. One of us. I will just have to surrender to the idea of both of my children choosing former Forest People before anyone born of the sea."

His body relaxed into her side, gladly walking beside her now instead of acting like he was forced to. He quietly muttered how grateful he felt, "Thank you. Wait-- what do you mean both children? Where's Tsireya?"

A wry smile graces Ronal's lips, patting his hand in pity, "Oh, my son. You are so blinded by your own infatuation that you never noticed your sister's. At least I will have a third child to distract myself from your foolishness."

They return home and Ronal finally lets her son free of her grasp. He had hurried off, likely to get away from his mother and also to track down Tsireya (or strangle Lo'ak, whichever comes first). Stepping into the hut, Ronal finds Tonowari inside, gutting the fish he had caught that morning. The olo'eyktan looks up and catches her gaze, and whatever he sees in her eyes has him standing up to reach out to her, "Ma Ronal?"

"We need to talk."

~~~~~~~~~

Jake knows that he should be more actively involved in his eldest child's life, but for the moment, Y/n has made it a game to avoid him. When he wanted to initially talk to her, she had slipped away to go bodysurfing with some of the other Metkayina her age. Jake found himself alone in their family's marui, waiting for everyone to return now that he wasn't able to talk to his daughter one on one. It made him think about Neteyam, and how the boy would've easily gone after his twin to talk to her. The thought made Toruk Makto greatly admire and miss his first boy all at once. He always relied on Neteyam to wrangle up his siblings, and for Y/n, he relied on her twin to talk to her for him. Neteyam always knew how to talk to Y/n. How to calm her, how to excite her, and he especially knew how to help his parents talk to her. Between the twins, Neteyam was more open about his emotions, but even that was a great feat. Neteyam didn't talk about it unless asked to, so if it was difficult to squeeze out Neteyam's inner thoughts, Jake wondered just how impossible would it be to reach Y/n's.

The struggling father even debated going back to the Spirit Tree to ask Neteyam what to do, but that inner turmoil made him feel so pathetic. How pathetic of a father was he that he needed to reach out to his dead son for help when it came to talking to his daughter? As a parent, Jake should be the one to have wisdom and give it freely to his children, not the other way around. Then again, it had been so long since Jake's own twin brother had died that he forgot that twins are on another level of understanding compared to the rest. Neteyam would always know Y/n best and vice versa, and that was something Jake had accepted a long time ago. Now, however, with Neteyam gone and Y/n left in a world without her other half, Jake was trying to understand her the way her brother always did.

It didn't help that Y/n has yet to go to the Spirit Tree herself. She refused to go see her brother and refused, even more, to talk about it. Jake wanted tonight to be the night they talk, so even after the rest of his family left to go to the communal meal, he waited.

He heard laughter coming from outside, ears moving wildly before he even raised his head. He recognized one of the laughs to be Y/n, and his chest squeezed at the familiar sound, wishing he could hear it more. After he heard her wishing her friends goodnight, he heard footsteps approaching, but not at the entrance of the marui. Looking up, he continued to hear the footsteps above him and realized that Y/n was climbing up the mangrove tree roots sheltering their home.

Jake goes outside, calling up, "Hey, sweetheart? Can you come down here, please?"

Y/n was sitting towards the top of the tree root but obediently climbed back down at her father's request. Hopping down and landing in front of him, she had jostled the bouncy walkway and stood straight up, tilting her head up at Jake in question. Once again, Jake found himself at a loss for words, unsure of what to say to her without her twin here to tell him, "Hey... feeling alright?"

She raised an eyebrow and shrugged, finding the outside wall of the marui more interesting to look at than her father, "I guess so."

Jake nods, deciding now was the time as good as any, "I was wondering if you and I could go to the Spirit Tree. I thought you might want to visit your brother."

Immediately, her posture shrinks and her eyes lower to her feet, and Jake was half afraid that she might burst into tears. Meanwhile, Y/n was thinking back to what Ronal had told her, wondering about both Neteyam and Ro'a and how they would feel knowing that their sisters were living miserable lives without them. She wanted to be able to live a life Neteyam would be proud of her for, but even now, the idea of looking him in the eye and telling him what she had been up to since his death made her stomach churn, "... I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"Are you sure?" Pity and concern swim in Jake's own eyes, lifting his hand and settling it gently on his daughter's shoulder, "It might help."

She frowned down at her feet, "Help with what?"

"It's just... you never got to say goodbye."

Her watery eyes peer up at him then, and Jake felt like he was being punched in the gut as venom drips from her words, "You mean I never got to watch him die? Nobody got to say goodbye, Dad."

"He wanted to say goodbye. He was trying to," What kind of a father was he if he couldn't comfort his child? Jake scrambled to find the right things to say, and instead, he blurted out what he knew would only make Y/n feel even more distressed, "Neteyam... he wanted me to tell you something. He wanted me to tell you to... to 'find more?'"

He wasn't expecting Y/n to rip herself out of his hold on her, and he wasn't expecting her to stare up at him as if he had burned her, full of pain, shock, and utter betrayal. Her whole body began to shake, but not from crying. Even as tears welled up and fell from her eyes, Y/n's fangs were bared as she began to angrily spat, "That stupid, selfless, self-sacrificing kalweyaveng!"

Jake's posture turns rigid, glaring down at his daughter as if ready to lecture her, appalled by her speaking ill of the dead, "Y/n!"

"Just leave me alone!" She screamed back, too angry to even bother thinking about another lecture from her father. She spun around with the intention to run, but Jake reached out and firmly grasped her arm to keep her from escaping.

"I've done nothing but leave you alone!" She flinched and Jake immediately lowered his voice, exhaling the abrupt anger and forcing himself to calm down, but still spoke sternly, "I have given you your space and time because I knew you were in a lot of pain. I knew how you were feeling because I know what it's like to lose a twin brother. It's time we finally talked, young lady."

"About what?" She asked, keeping her back turned to him.

"About that day. Your side of the story."

Y/n spun back around, tears still spilling from her eyes even as she glared at her father in disgust, "You mean you want me to tell you why I wasn't there to save my brother from dying?"

Jake's grip froze, and for the life of him, Jake couldn't figure out why his muscles refused to move. It was like an arrow had punctured him through the heart, the disgusting accusation still evident on Y/n's face. His anger disappeared, being replaced by shock and disbelief, "What?"

"You heard me."

Jake sucked in a sharp breath. Had she always felt this way toward him? "No, sweetheart, I would never--"

"It doesn't matter if you did or didn't think that, what matters is that's exactly what I expect from you." She straightened out her shoulders, defiant, even through her soft cries. She looked so confident and the fact that she was confident about Jake's behavior made his heart shatter. Since when should a child be so sure of their parent's motivations? "At this point, everything you have done up until now has led me to believe that you would blame me for not being there. After all, that's what you did to Neteyam. You blamed him or held him responsible whenever one of us did anything wrong. So what else should I expect from you now that I'm the older sibling?"

Jake's eyes blink rapidly, voice so quiet he hardly recognized it, "Y/n... I am so, so sorry. That had never been my intention."

She wipes her face with the back of her hand, "It's too late for you to apologize. It's too late for anything you could possibly do to make up for it. Neteyam is gone," her voice cracked under the pressure of such a heavy word. She wished she didn't have to finally admit it, and she wished she felt less angry at the sight of her broken father, staring down at her on the verge of tears, "He had to die for you to realize what you did was wrong. You couldn't have tried to change when he was still alive? No. You couldn't. And I can never forgive you for that."

~~~~~~~~~

Y/n decided to sleep on the very far end of the marui that night, away from her family and their hammocks, with her back turned and outright refusing to speak. Neytiri asked what happened with only her eyes, to which Jake's ears pinned back and he simply looked away, unable to look his wife in the eyes when he admitted that he screwed up. The parents spoke quietly to each other that night, talking about what happened in quiet enough whispers so none of their children could hear. Not that it mattered, since Spider snored loud enough to drown any unwanted sound out.

"Just give her time, Ma Jake... she is young and doesn't fully understand what she says."

Jake tries his best to shake his head, but it was currently nestled comfortably in the crook of her neck, "She's not a little kid, 'Tiri. She's not Tuk. She's old enough to finish her Iknimaya and be considered a warrior of the People. She knows what she's saying, and she's finally saying it. She's going to be sixteen soon, and she is struggling to figure out what that means for her. Her father treats her like an adult and her mother treats her like a child. It's confusing her."

Neytiri lightly pinched his arm, quietly snarling in retaliation, "I treat all my children that way. My babies can grow up all they want. They will stay my babies for the rest of their lives."

Jake smiled into her neck, placing a small kiss there in admiration of how much Neytiri fiercely loved their family. Neytiri smiles to herself and wraps her arms more securely around her husband. They stay like that for a few moments until Neytiri huffs in exhaustion, bringing her hand up to play with his hair, "I can hear your thoughts. Out with them."

He's quiet for far too long like he was trying to pretend he was sleeping to get himself out of it. When Neytiri pinched him again, he finally spoke, "... Our baby is going to be sixteen soon."

Neytiri grows quiet with him, alone together in their home while their children are off in their dreams. Neither of them say it, but they were both thinking about it. Only one of the twins will be sixteen soon and will continue to grow old, while the other will forever remain fifteen, stuck in time. Jake's throat closes up at the thought. He was a twin, left behind by his brother, alone in a world that hated him and his existence. He barely survived on his own, especially in a wheelchair. Then his drinking habits got him kicked out of nearly every bar in the vicinity of his living quarters. His drinks and his wheelchair were never a good mix, and Jake knew if he stayed on Earth any longer, he would have been dead.

Jake knew that Y/n was stronger than him in every way possible. She could never fall as low as he did when Tommy died. He thought by letting her grieve the way she wanted to, the two of them could start over and heal after losing Neteyam. Looking back on his choices, Jake had regretted it, because all the while Y/n was grieving for her brother, she was also believing that her father hated her.

His arms tighten around Neytiri, trying to bury his face even further in her neck when he felt hot tears threatening to spill in the corners of his eyes, "I feel like we're losing her, too..."

"We're not," she spoke sternly, though it cracked under the pressure of her own tears, "We won't. I cannot lose another baby, Jake. I cannot..." She swallows down the bile in her throat, clearing her airway and taking a deep breath to collect herself, "Y/n is not alone. There are other people who are around her every day who love her and want to see her happy. She has more than just us. We will have to accept that we cannot fix everything for our children. Sometimes, we have to let other people do it for us, especially if our children do not want our help."

He hums in agreement, a small weight lifted from his shoulders, but not all of it. Just enough to make him feel secure, at least for the night. His eyes grow heavy and before long, Jake is finally asleep.

Whatever anxiety he felt the night before returned when he woke up the next morning and realized Y/n was already gone.

Neytiri was already awake and calmed him down, claiming that their daughter had left for the day to take a break from everything. When Jake asked if Neytiri knew where she went, his wife only shook her head, "I knew it would be best not to ask. Wherever she is going, she does not want us to follow her."

Despite their talk yesterday, Jake didn't feel the least bit reassured. He tried not to let it bother him as he goes about his day, taking a break from his usual chores to watch his other kids play around in the water. He should have been doing this from the beginning, watching over all of his children so they could enjoy their innocence just a little bit longer, instead of having Neteyam or Y/n do it. By noon, the children were all exhausted from playing and Lo'ak even asked if he was allowed to go check on Payakan. Jake almost agreed, but his anxiety got the better of him, "You can, but only after your sister returns. I... don't want more than one of you being apart right now."

And surprisingly, Lo'ak accepted his father's explanation and it threw Jake through a loop. Who knew that actually communicating with your kids will lead them to understand you a bit better? After he brought the kids home to eat lunch with their mother, Jake noted how Y/n was not back yet and so he told Neytiri that he was going to look around. She rolled her eyes but nodded.

Jake searched for places he's seen his daughter in the past but found no one that fit her description. He then went into the jungle to check on her ikran, and to his surprise, Evi was still there, confused but curious as to why her rider was not with him. Bob hissed at Jake with annoyance, clearly offended by the lack of attention around here, so Jake took him out for a short flight, using the bond to instruct him where to go.

The next place he looked for her was the Spirit Tree, flying half a dozen circles around the whole area to see if he could spot Y/n, but came up empty. Jake tried not to full-blown panic, and so did his best to fly home and try not to think about it too much. He told Neytiri that he had never been able to find Y/n by the time the whole village was starting to trickle back home for the day. The sun was still out and everyone was going around to start making preparations for the communal dinner. Now Neytiri was starting to get worried and voiced her concerns. So finally, Jake did what he should've done before and made a trip to the chief's marui.

"Have either of you seen Y/n?"

Ao'nung and Tsireya's heads perk up at Jakesully's voice and the mention of Y/n. Both of the reef siblings glance at one another from inside the hut while they could hear Toruk Makto speaking to their parents outside, "We looked everywhere. She's not with her ikran. We checked the Spirit Tree. Nothing."

Tonowari's voice spoke next, "Do you think she is in trouble? We can have a search party sent out for her."

Jake's voice sounded resigned, ashamed, "No, I think she just wants to be left alone. We had a fight yesterday and she ran off before we woke up. But if it gets dark out, I'd appreciate the search party."

Silence followed and Ao'nung could only assume that Jake had left. The reef boy's heart was loudly beating in his ears to the point he had barely noticed Tsireya gently placing her hand on his arm. He spares a glance at her and regrets it. She only stared back as if she held the all-knowing Eywa in her hands. The siblings part when their parents reenter the marui, and Ronal's eyes immediately found her son's with the same knowing expression her daughter bore.

"You know where she is, don't you?"

She's met with silence, the whole hut practically heavy in it as Ao'nung only stared back with a guilt-ridden expression. Tonowari sighed out through his nose, ridding himself of the heavy weight of the situation. He lifts his arm out to the doorway, "Go, boy. Bring her back."

Ao'nung quickly nods and rises to his feet, "Yes, Father."

While watching her son leave, Ronal calls out, "Make haste. I do not want her mother to worry for much longer."

~~~~~~~~~

Ao'nung didn't waste any time. He called an ilu and took off, leaving the village behind him as he followed the beach further up the island. As he arrives at Sänrr Rong, he found a lone ilu, strapped to a harness but floating around without a rider, diving down and inspecting the coral to keep itself busy. Ao'nung disengages from his own ilu and watches the pair going around excitedly playing together before he got out of the water to climb the cliff. He grabs onto vines and rocks and pulls himself up, briefly remembering what the forest kids had done to climb up faster the last time they were all here. He eventually reaches the top, pulling himself over the ledge and catching his breath, exhausted in his haste to get up here. The wind was whipping wildly through his hair as he looks around, immediately finding what he had been looking for.

Y/n was sitting close to the edge of the cliffside where the kids would normally dive from. She had her legs tucked up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, looking out onto the vast ocean, her mind far away. She wanted to go somewhere quiet, somewhere not many Na'vi travel alone. She hadn't been here in a long time, remembering the last time she had gone to the Glow Tunnel. All the kids were there, having a blast, even having a picnic whenever they took a break from jumping into the water. Y/n stayed on top of the cliff the whole time, still refusing to ever take the leap. She stayed with the basket full of fruit whenever one of her other friends or siblings came around looking for a refreshing treat. She remembered laughing and warning them about stomach aches, especially when Rotxo insisted on chowing down a whole fruit on his own before jumping in for a swim. He regretted that by the time he had climbed back up the cliff, taking a nap instead of rejoining the fun.

Neteyam never looked younger than in those moments at Sänrr Rong, having fun and enjoying being fifteen. He loved cliff diving, especially when he and Lo'ak would race to the bottom or back up to the top. He was always trying to convince Y/n to join them, but each time, she refused and would watch her twin leap into the sky and plummet down into the water.

Now, she sat alone, wishing that her brother was there to ask her to join in the fun. She didn't have to delve into those thoughts for much longer as finally, she heard rustling behind her, footsteps slowly making their way toward her. Eventually, Ao'nung sat down beside Y/n, as he always does nearly every day since she lost her brother, and like always, they sit in silence before eventually, the curiosity ate at him.

"What are you doing up here?"

"Waiting for you." She responds automatically, rising to her feet before her courage could disappear, "Jump with me?"

He peers up at her, surprised, eyes flicking from her face down to her hand when she offered it to him. Ao'nung gulps down the nerves and reaches up, marveling at how small her hand was in his as she helped him rise to his feet again. Ao'nung tries not to keep staring at their joined hands, taking a moment to curl one of his fingers around her smallest, the pinky, the one he used to tease about to her and her siblings relentlessly. Looking back, even Ao'nung wanted to punch himself in the face. There was nothing wrong with the extra finger. In fact, if nothing else, an extra finger just means more to hold.

Realizing he still hasn't answered Y/n's question, he glanced back up to her eyes, blue meeting yellow, like a sun meeting the ocean, "Frakrr."

She beams up at him with her eyes, and her hand clasps more firmly into his. Looking down at the edge of the cliff, she sees the height, the fall, and the water down below. A chill runs down her spine, but it's more from the wind running through her hair than the fear. The wind felt like a comforting hand on her head, urging her forward, and she was not afraid.

Neither of them counts or speaks. Without looking to one another for reassurance, the two teens jump. They both scream, but it's out of delight and excitement, a rush running through them as they fall, fall, fall.

SPLASH.

It was like Y/n blinked and she missed it. One moment she was at the cliff's edge, then the next she was in the water, holding her breath while simultaneously clutching onto Ao'nung's hand so he couldn't get away even if he wanted to. She looked back to find him, and he was already smiling at her, grinning from ear to ear, eyes full of pride and adoration. He pulled his hand out of hers but only so he could excitedly sign to her, 'You did it!'

Y/n mistakenly laughs underwater, the sound muffled by the sea that runs into her mouth. She sputtered, and Ao'nung tries not to laugh himself, taking Y/n's hand back and helping her swim up to the surface. When she emerges from the water, she was still smiling as she coughed, and to Ao'nung it was one of the most baffling and wonderful sights. It was like watching a baptism. Before, she was just a shell, now she smiled, full of life and love and hope.

The Na'vi believe that every person was born twice, and Ao'nung was starting to believe he had just seen it happen with his own two eyes.

They found themselves laughing. Not sure at what, just laughing, likely from the adrenaline rush. It was definitely fun, and Y/n would love nothing more than to climb back up that cliff and jump again. All those other times she and the other teens would come here, and to think she had missed out on all that fun. She never wanted to miss another second of it. Through her laughter, she had closed her eyes. When she opened them, Ao'nung was still right in her field of view. He still laughed, head floating over the water, flyaways of his hair sticking to the sides of his head, framing his face. Y/n's heart leaped in her chest, similar to the cliff dive. She wadded closer to him, barely to the point Ao'nung didn't notice. They were close now, but Ao'nung didn't realize this until he took a moment to catch his breath and noticed that Y/n was no longer laughing. He opened his eyes and his laugh cuts off, eyes widening out of curiosity, wondering what she was doing.

She laughed under her breath when he looked at her like a curious little puppy. Her laugh is infectious so he continues to do the same, and suddenly her nerves have escaped her. The rush is still there, beating loudly in her chest. Every thought in her head continuously tells her to 'jump, jump, jump!'

Y/n took the leap again, only this time, she jumped at the right opportunity to kiss Ao'nung, silencing their shared laughs and molding their lips together in perfect harmony. If it weren't for the crashing sounds of waves, Y/n thought Ao'nung would be able to hear just how loud her heartbeat was. But he was otherwise occupied, one of his arms automatically finding their home around her waist, the other arm keeping them afloat above water. He eagerly kissed back without hesitation. It was like he knew she was going to kiss him, but didn't at the same time. It was hard to explain. He was obviously surprised by the kiss but he didn't hesitate to respond, knowing that this was something he desperately wanted but had refrained himself from taking it. He was happy to wait for Y/n for as long as she needed, but when she kissed him, Ao'nung decided that he was allowed to be selfish, just this once, until Y/n is ready again.

It was hard for her to admit, but Y/n liked it when Ao'nung was selfish. When she had to part the kiss for air, he had eagerly chased after her for more, and that only made her heart swell in adoration. She giggled, rewarding him a small peck on his mouth whilst she gasped quietly for air, leaning her forehead against his. They embrace like this for a while, basking in the peace and the overwhelming happiness breathing between them, listening to the serene sounds of the ocean and feeling the rushing heartbeat of the person they held in their arms.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. And who else was able to ruin such a moment than Fish Lips himself, "If you wanted to get me alone, Forest Girl, all you had to do was ask."

Y/n scowled lightheartedly, rolling her eyes and pulling a laugh from him as he leans forward and kisses her cheek. She can't help but smile, watching her hands rest comfortably in the spaces between Ao'nung's shoulders and neck, gently pressing her thumbs into his muscle there.

"I knew you'd just find me here eventually."

"Mm. True," Ao'nung grins, "I'll play this hide-and-seek game of yours again if that means you'll kiss me each time as a reward."

The laugh she lets out is the most obnoxious one by far, a downright mockery of him as she playfully flicks his cheek with her finger, "Don't push your luck, Seaweed Brain. And unless you want to deal with our parents when we get back, you need to stop smiling like an idiot."

Oh, shit. The parents.

A/N: She did what Neteyam told her to do. 'Find more'

NOT the end of the series! More to come soon! If you have a request, put in the ask box! Please read the rules first before you leave a request, thank you!

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