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notnctu · 4 years

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through the lens ❀ l.jn

❀ lee jeno x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, smut/mature content, fluff (romance?), slight angst ❀ details - photographer!jeno, model!reader, college!au, shy!jeno but he aint shy in bed, strangers to fuckers!au ❀ word count - 8k (this is the longest thing ive ever written) ❀ warnings - nude modeling, swearing, oral (f/receiving), some sweet love makin’ ❀ brief synopsis - jeno asks you to model for his internship project, but little did you know, it was going to be a nude photo shoot.

❝ jeno was too shy to hold eye contact, but he stared at you endlessly through the lens. ❞

❀ a/n - hihihi this is author doie❀ ! im bad at writing smut so pls dont hate me ah ha lol i tried my best i also dont model/do professional photography so really apologize if i butcher any terms lmaoo the only thing i am is that im in college and im shy

Jeno had applied to almost a hundred internships and almost close to none returned with an offer, even after a whole month of waiting. He absolutely needed to start building his portfolio before the beginning of his senior year of college. The embarrassment of possibly graduating without any experience loomed over the desperate boy.

Photography had been more than a hobby to him, to the point where he wanted to take it seriously. His parents weren’t the most supportive of an Arts major, but that couldn’t stop him. Jeno saw the best through a camera lens. He had a special eye for beautiful moments and the impressing urge to capture it forever.

It was too late to change his major, if he wanted to graduate with all of his friends. If he wanted to be successful, he had to act on it now.

The swoosh! of a new email startled the sleeping boy. He stared at the brightly lit screen, reading the words over and over again to make sure it was real. Jeno was so enthralled with excitement that he scrambled out of bed to wake up his roommate, Jaemin.

He shook him so violently that the sheets fell from Jaemin’s warm body. “Dude! I got an internship!” He spoke with incredible glee, a wide smile couldn’t leave his face.

Jaemin groaned and had to hold Jeno by the shoulders to halt the boy from causing the room to spin. “Why--What is going on?” He dazely rubbed his tired eyes to blink at his giddy roommate.

The screen blinded Jaemin as it was shoved too closely to adjust. “Whoa--,” he pushed it away and shut his eyes, “--repeat what you just said one more time.” Jaemin held a finger up and Jeno grabbed it, jumping onto his best friend’s bed.

“I got an internship. Someone got back to me.” Jaemin returned the same excitement the moment he processed his words. He shot up in bed and hugged his friend tightly.

“Wo-w, dude! Congratulations!” The two boys hurried on their feet to cheer together. There was no concern for the rest of their housemates, only celebration that roared throughout the entire night.

Truthfully, Jeno had no recollection of applying to this studio. It could have been a random link on a job scouting website, but he couldn’t be more grateful. An internship was long overdue and Jeno had been itching to get some recognition for his craft.

“Hello, I’m Lee Jeno.” He bowed slightly at the receptionist, who had a stern stare that made him feel vulnerable. The first thing he noted about the office: white and minimalistic.

Jeno’s specialty was landscape photography. His aesthetics consisted of black and white filters, city lights, dark mood lighting, and background commotion. He enjoyed capturing chaos the most, a scene where more than one thing was happening. The only reason being that there was more to look at.

“Nice to meet you. The name is Lee Taemin, but you can call me what you please.” A young, lean man strolled his way towards Jeno with a wide grin and his hand for him to shake. Taemin was slightly shorter than him, but his stylish, expensive boots made up for his height. He had to be only a maximum of five years older than Jeno as Taemin appeared relatively youthful.

Taemin’s firm grip pulled Jeno along inside the studio. A small gasp escaped from Jeno which earned robust laughter from the older man. “I hope you can break out of your shell soon. There is no room for timidness around here, Mister Lee.”

“Please, you can call me Jeno.” He smiled, quite awkwardly at the beautiful man.

The tall glass windows, the concrete, gray floor, the white doors that lined the hallway, had to be all too predictable. Jeno envisioned this is what high class must look like. It was the pristine, bright feeling and the smell of vanilla that lingered distastefully. There was chatter behind the closed doors --- mainly directing, and high praises.

The only off-put was that photographers worked behind closed doors. From the few studios he has visited previously, photographers often worked in open spaces due to lighting fractures or the ability to roam more freely.

“I’m actually very ecstatic you signed up for the internship, since you do seem a bit on the younger side.” Taemin gestured toward the sofa in the middle of his massive office. Jeno sat across from him. Water was already placed on the glass coffee table that separated the two. A laptop was opened to face Taemin.

Jeno slyly rubbed the condensation from his palms on his jeans. Taemin’s stare bore deep into the shy boy, who had to break eye contact from time to time. “I know.” Jeno chuckled nervously, “thank you for getting back to me. I was really hoping to gain work experience through mentorship.”

Taemin nodded at everything Jeno was saying. His face being completely expressionless. Jeno sipped his water to regain moisture in his dry throat. Taemin was more intimidating than he was anticipating. “Sounds great. Happy to have you here. It might be a small business, but the experience is worth investing in. Every photographer who has come in and out of my building has found their forte. Let’s say, it’s eye opening.”

“That’s exactly what I was looking for actually.” As scared as he was of this mysterious man, he really enjoyed the comfort the environment radiated.

Taemin leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “I noticed in the portfolio you sent that you don’t have any portraits or any people, in general, in your photos. Do you have any works with people? Since this is a studio of fine art nude photography.”

Nude. Jeno practically choked on the last remaining spit he gathered. Taemin acknowledged the boy’s shocked reaction and tilted his head curiously, “you did know that I specialize in contemporary fine art nude photography, right?” Unfortunately, Jeno did not.

Jeno cleared his throat, “yes, of course. I wanted to challenge myself.” He had to lie, there was no other way to cover up his disbelief. This internship was the only hope left for him to gain something. Though, even the thought of shooting a naked body made him anxious.

He hated how timid he was. His friends and family say otherwise, mainly for the reason that Jeno automatically lit up behind a camera. In all honesty, he hid behind it. It was the only safe place that Jeno knew what he was doing. However when it came to real life situations without it, he lacked the confidence to be himself.

As ironic as it was, he hated being seen. He liked to be the background character in his own life, because the main character took too much of a toll. It could also be his deafening insecurities and lack of self esteem, but Jeno didn’t mind not being the center of attention.

“You like a challenge?” It was more of a statement rather than a question. Jeno caught a glimpse of the twinkle in Taemin’s dark eyes. “Then for your first task, I want you to show me that you can take on this role.”

Jeno scrambled for his phone to jot down notes. “Send me an emotional portfolio, model of your choice. They could be a friend of yours that you feel comfortable seeing naked. It must include a variation of headshots, full body, and body details. It must also be raw and unedited photos. I want to see if you have the eye for the art to capture these types of images.”

“When would you like it by?” He stammered, completely winded at the sudden project that unloaded on top of him.

“Next Friday, and you’ll present it to me here in person. Feel free to use this studio if you don’t have a place of your own with equipment. All you need to do is book a room with the front desk. Any other questions?” The sound of the laptop shutting caused Jeno to look up at the brilliance in front of him. He needed Taemin to help him succeed.

“Why do you take nude photography?”

Taemin was unable to stop the laughter that erupted into the room. “I don’t run a pimp business or sell soft core porn, if that’s why you’re staring at me so funnily. What I make is an art masterpiece, it has nothing to do with physical features or desires. It’s the pure emotion that clothing distracts from. Clothing conforms the model into an aesthetic, and while that works for editorials, it won’t be a consistent thing here.”

Jeno nodded understandingly. Overwhelmed and lost at words. He was unsure what he had gotten himself into. Where was he going to find a model on such short notice on such lewd conditions? He was really going to need to step out of his comfortable zone, in his photography and social skills.

Taemin stood up and extended his hand once more. “I take pride in my art, so I hope you, too, start finding that in your own.”

Jaemin held his stomach from the endless laughter, tears welling up in his eyes. “Nud-Nude photography? And you didn’t know?”

“Jaemin, keep it down.” Jeno whispered and cautiously peered around at the few people flooding into the small lecture hall. “I don’t want everyone in our club to misunderstand and think I’m some creep.”

His best friend straightened up in his seat and placed his hand on Jeno's slumped shoulder, “first of all, you’re a complete idiot for not researching. Secondly, it’s an art form. If you really got yourself a shady, rated R internship, I would’ve told you to drop it instantly.”

His spirits were slightly lifted, but he was still struggling with who he should ask to model for him. As much as he’s already seen of Jaemin, being his roommate, he honestly would rather leave the rest to imagination. Jeno wasn’t purposefully searching the room for a candidate, but he could not stop his eyes from drifting.

He spotted the most attractive side profile that sat two rows below him. He shook his head to make sure he was seeing her correctly. Peering around, he looked for another possible face to shoot. But oh god, how she caught his eye every time she even slightly moved.

You smiled happily with your friends by your side as your club’s executive board members introduced this year’s goals and events to attend. It had to be the smallest amount of alcohol still running in your system that caused you to giggle every time guys tried to turn around and hit on you.

“Why don’t you focus on our club members instead?” You smirked at the smug older boy, who had poorly attempted to grab your attention. “I think this information is important to you. These events could help you develop your social skills to be much better.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but your girl friends scoffed by your side.

He got up in disbelief and quickly walked out of the room. There was a brief pause at the sudden movement, but the announcement carried on per usual.

Jeno impatiently waited for the club meeting to finally be over, so he could talk to you. The longer it dragged, the more his confidence was subsiding. “I’m heading to study, wanna come with?” Jaemin poked at Jeno’s knee.

“Yeah, but you can go ahead first. I need to talk to someone.” His voice was shaky and his throat went so dry. Jeno’s shifty eyes scanned the room, hoping no one saw how nervous he was acting.

Jaemin’s eyebrows lifted suspiciously, “who? I didn’t even know you talked to anyone who came today. Donghyuck and Renjun aren’t here---”

“--her, Jaemin... her. I’m going to ask her to model for me.” Jeno motioned his head. His heart beating faster at seeing a small grin appear on your face from a comment someone made.

Jaemin hummed, “good luck with that, bud. I’ve got two shoulders for you to cry on after.” The extra hint of sarcasm only made Jeno sweat nervously. He was seriously doubting his decision, but it wouldn’t be a challenge if he didn’t do it. He knew he’d regret it more if he didn’t just ask you.

Once the meeting was dismissed, you wanted to get out of the room before the heavy rush into the hallways. Unfortunately, a few frat guys pulled you into their conversation and chatted up a storm. Your friends played into their foolery, but you stopped paying attention when they asked for your numbers.

There was a faint tap on your shoulder and you turned to see who the culprit was. You didn’t seem to know him, because you would’ve remembered such a demeanor. His eyes were glued to the floor behind you and his shaky hands ran through his brown locks. His shyness was quite endearing, yet alarming since you weren’t sure why exactly he had approached you.

“Yes?” You asked curiously.

The moment Jeno heard your delicate cadence, he melted like a popsicle left out in the sun. He peered up, but quickly reverted his eyes to the white tiles when he noticed how beautifully you stared at him.

He counted his breathing to calm his rapid heart beat. He cleared his throat to introduce himself, “I’m Jeno. I’m a third year Arts major, um-- I was just--- I know we don’t know each other. I wanted to ask, uh-” Jeno was horrified at how he stammered over his own words. His cheeks burned with a red glow, and if he couldn’t look you in the eye before, he definitely couldn’t now.

“Hey, see you later.” One of the bulky frat guys called and you waved back weakly.

A guy who had been chasing you endlessly scoffed at the pitiful sight and smirked at you, “see you at my house tonight? Been missing you in my bed lately.”

“Thought you would’ve guessed the reason why I stopped coming around.” Jeno heard the sting in your remarks and the disbelief in the male.

You honestly could have left, Jeno knew that. But you stayed and waited patiently for him to finish. Jeno could tell how strong you were just by your intimidating aura that practically suffocated him by standing in close proximity to you.

You sighed and reached to grab your jacket on the folded seat, “look, Jeno. It’s nice to meet you and all, but I gotta get going.”

Shockingly, the shy boy reached out to stop you by your fingertips. His touch lingered before he dropped your hand quickly. “I’m sorry. Are you free this Monday?”

“Uh, that depends. If you’re asking me on a date, then I’m busy.” Rolling your eyes, you weren’t sure why you still stayed to listen to what this random stranger had to say. If it were anyone else, you would’ve walked away the moment he asked if you were free. However, you acknowledged his timidness and the courage he must have mustered up to approach you.

Jeno shook his head violently, completely in shambles from that type of misunderstanding. “Not a date. I need someone to model for my portfolio photos that my internship assigned. It’s actually very important to me because it’s the first internship that responded back to me when I had applied to so many a whole month ago. Basically, I really need this and you because I think you’d be perfect to take pictures of. Oh-- wow! That sounded very bad --- uh --- what I meant is that your facial proportions are perfect and---”

“I’m free Monday.” You cut off his endless ramble and gestured toward his phone. He handed it to you without any hesitation and you typed in your number. “Text me the time, place and what I should wear.”

“Oh actually, it’s a nude photoshoot.” Your eyes doubled in size, completely offended by that statement.

Jeno felt the sudden shift in the air and brought his hands up to block himself, “to be more clear, it’s a contemporary fine art nude photography studio. The pictures are pieces of art and to be seen as that only. I have no intentions or ulterior motive to sleep with you, see you naked or sell, leak your nudes for the profit of your body. But, I understand if you no longer want to do it because it sounds super strange now that I am explaining it.”

Your shoulders relaxed and the fist that formed unraveled. You exhaled deeply, “I’ll do it. We can talk more about it on Monday and I get to leave on my own accord if I don’t feel comfortable. We work on my conditions.” Picking up Jeno’s chin, he was absolutely petrified at the forced eye contact and your incredible, powerful gaze. He was mesmerized by the fire in your eyes, and if he stared any longer, he could’ve lost himself in them.

“Of course.” With that, you dropped his face and left without another look back. Jeno looked down at his phone and the new contact name, (Y/N). It had slipped his mind to even ask what your name was and he slapped his face in utter stupidity. “Do better, Lee Jeno.” It was a remainder to himself to, hopefully, be better the next time you two speak.

Monday, 3:03 PM.

Jeno paced back and forth in the brightly, lit white room. He was trying to find any blinds or curtains to cover the tall windows of the high rise building. It should not be too much of a problem, the extra lighting was a positive. Jeno was only worried for your comfort of the openness.

There was a soft knock before Jeno practically tripped to open the door. His breath hitched at the sight of your bare face. This time, you were the vulnerable one. Jeno only saw purity, yet impressed at how your tired eyes still managed to bid him a soft smile. He admired your uneven complexion, and the sparse moles that dotted your skin.

“Okay, so you want to see me naked now or later?” Filled with jokes, your voice was light and airy this afternoon. There was a bit of a contrast from the first time you two met. Softer, enchanting, almost ghostly.

Everything in the room was white. The mattress on the floor had a white comforter and white sheets. The backdrop. The walls. The hardwood floor. The only color was the blue sky that the tall windows let in.

“Here’s a robe. You can change in the bathroom.” Jeno scratched the back of his neck and his eyes wandered everywhere, but your’s.

“Would you be okay with me just taking off my clothes in here?” You saw the light tint of pink cover his face, and spread to his ears. You examined more of the shy boy’s embarrassed face, finally getting a really good look at him. Jeno was very attractive, and you could only imagine how beautiful he must look if he fully faced you.

Jeno fiddled with his camera strap, “only if you are okay with that.” Clearing his throat, he stood next to the window to give you some privacy. “I’ll go over what I plan on doing. I’m going to take photos of your face details, parts of your body, full body, and portraits. You can lay down on the bed and I’ll direct you in poses. Have you modeled before?”

He was scanning the bustling city below his feet. Cars zoomed quickly and crowds of tiny people flooded the streets. He brought his camera up to his face, not being able to resist the urge to capture such a thrilling sight.

“If Instagram counts, then yeah. Professional model gig would be a no. Nude photography is a definite no, unless we are talking about being filmed during sex.” Jeno chuckled, while also holding the camera steady and stealing a few moments to keep for himself.

For a strange reason, being naked for a non-sensual reason felt even more vulnerable. Laying on the soft fabric, you felt oddly exposed and slightly more reserved. You’ve had countless strangers see you naked. Men were sexually desiring to see a sexy picture. You were always lusted after, but this feeling of nakedness was special.

“Are you ready?” Jeno gulped, finally setting the camera down.

You hummed cheerfully. Your heart was leaping out of your chest as the boy shifted slowly to face you. As he turned, you noticed he had his eyes sealed shut, which caused a small laugh to erupt. “Jeno, you have my permission to open your eyes and to look at me.”

Holy shit, he was trembling with an inexplicable fear. The camera was slipping from his sweaty hands. His mouth was as dry as the desert. Jeno’s pounding heart was loud in his ears.

Jeno has seen his past girlfriends laying naked in bed, but this situation was too different. When he saw you laying there in absolutely nothing, he was overwhelmed, yet astounded at how graceful you appeared.

There was no exchange of words and no exchange of eye contact. He towered over your lying figure and shakily brought the camera to his eyes. He selfishly wanted to capture your elegance. Through the lens, he saw all of you: the curve in your eyelid, your curled eyelashes, the small mole next to your soft lips, the sharp color of your eyes, the way your hair frames your face.

This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. You were comparable to the arts found in popular museums. Your body lines were enticing and an impressive shape. Your breasts pooled on your chest, the round nude nipple in the centers. Your details had to be sculpted by gods, who took their sweet time making you. You were a true masterpiece.

Confused, Jeno felt a huge mixture of emotions. Was he aroused? Was he infatuated? Did he just fall in love with a complete stranger? He recognized the same thrilled feelings he felt taking landscape photos. With each click, he grew more excited with how beautiful the photos were turning out.

“Sit up and rest your chin on your left hand. Lean your weight on your right leg.” Jeno’s direction was clear and firm. There was no evidence of a smaller tone he usually spoke in. Sitting up, you placed your elbow on your upper thigh to steady your chin. Jeno had already gotten down to floor level to you.

Without the camera that separated you two, it had to be the first time he faced you completely in such close proximity. There was so much to admire about Jeno. He remained concentrated on his craft, but it was actually very sexy to see his dedication. It was almost like he was a whole new person, like all the shyness drifted away.

Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off of you. It wasn’t simply your beauty that amazed him. Your confidence made everything easy. There was something about your blank stares, when he asked for an emotion, you portrayed it perfectly.

“Can we talk while you shoot?” Your sudden voice startled the photographer. He lowered his camera and his gaze automatically wandered off behind you, which didn’t go unnoticed. He nodded after a short pause and the shutter noises continued.

“Why did you choose me as your model?”

Jeno peeled away from the device, “because you’re you.” He didn’t even know what that statement meant. It wasn’t like he knew you before the first time he asked you to model for him.

The corners of your lips dipped down, drawing an evident frown. Click. Jeno loved that image especially. It was a simple way to get real, authentic facial expressions. He marveled at the photo, but registered the reason behind it. “I wanted to ask you the second I saw you. I just knew that I wanted you.”

“But you don’t know me.”

Jeno looked through the lens once again, welcoming a full view of your stunning attributes. He spoke in a low voice, “then, let me know you.” Click.

It would be the biggest lie to say that you weren’t aroused by Jeno at the moment. He was cool, without trying to be. He really did shine when he had a camera to work with, like a star to a dark night. While he had a distinct demeanor off the bat, you enjoyed unraveling the rest of him. He was, also, the first man you met that didn’t seem sexually driven by a naked woman in his presence.

You had to resist every urge to push the camera away and share the few seconds of his entire gaze before it wandered away. You wanted to rock his world, he was so innocent and beautiful. You wished to wreak havoc on him, have him show you how much he wanted you.

You anticipated an awkward photoshoot, but Jeno made you feel safe and comfortable. He made sure to adjust the temperature when goosebumps rose on your arms and when your nipples became painfully hard. He never touched you or came too much into your personal space. He always asked for your permission.

Nude modeling was a new experience for you, but you were surprised at how much you liked it. or how much you liked Jeno taking your photos. He sat next to you on the bed when you put on your articles of clothing and panned through several shots to satisfy your curiosity.

Leaning close, your head ducked to see the photos. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw just the first few. “Is that really me?” The pictures made you feel an abundance of emotions, you felt what they reflected. Sadness, melancholy, happiness, confidence. You didn’t know images had that much power to make you feel that, especially photos of you.

Jeno nodded, smiling so wide that his eyes turned to moon crescents. He was so in love with the results. He found respect for Taemin’s craft and he was right, he might’ve found a new forte to experiment with. “I can send you the photos digitally too, if you want them.”

“Maybe I’ll print them out, frame them, and gift it to every horrid man who has tried to flirt their way to my body since they want to see it so fucking bad.”

Jeno peered over and saw the tiny glimpse of pain in your orbs, “why would you give horrible people what they want?”

“So they can finally shut up and leave me alone. Plus, this is art and if I tell them it’s actually me, maybe it’ll change their minds to start treating me like it.”

He held his palm up and almost immediately, your fingers filled the spaces between his. “I’m going to need you to start treating yourself as fine art.”

“Keep taking more photos of me and I just might start thinking I’m Mona Lisa.” Your laughters blended nicely into each other. There was mutual mental acknowledgement of the happiness you were both feeling.

Jeno never let go of your hand, and there was a short moment of comforting silence where you two sat in each other’s existence. You were the one to break it, “are you doing anything after this?”

He shook his head. “Well then, you’re mine for the rest of the night. We’re going to pretend we’ve been close friends since first year and eat take-out on my bed because that’s what I need at the moment.”

“I know you respect my body and see this as an art form, but I’m genuinely surprised that you didn’t feel aroused at the slightest.”

Jeno didn’t even realize how much time had already passed being you. You two ate and chatted as if you’ve known each other forever, as if the friendship wasn’t established several hours ago. It felt safe and right, like you two belonged in each other’s existence and nowhere else mattered.

He felt warm inside from your hearty laughter and courage, like he was watching a painting come to life or a photo in movement. You were smitten over how endearing and complex he was. He was more than what meets the eye and that alone drew you towards him.

“Okay, I’ll admit,” Jeno paused to watch your reaction, “in the most respectable way, I was somewhat turned on. But! Before you trail blaze me for being just like every disgusting male in your life, I genuinely didn’t have any sexual thoughts during the photoshoot. That was all professional and it will continue to be like that.”

Getting up from your bed, your mind was working at lightspeed to process his confession. Jeno was fast to pick up someone’s personality, what stood out and what was kept hidden. He knew quicker than anyone else that you were not someone to offend because you were a strong, straight forward woman.

His personality breakdown went like this: you knew what you like, you knew you were going to get what you want, you enjoyed flirty banter (with people of your choice), you weren’t afraid to be blunt, or kick someone’s ass. You carried yourself with confidence that graced your every step, which makes anyone attracted to you instantly. Bold, confident, sexy had to be what came to mind whenever he thought about you.

Nonetheless, he really liked you as a person. He could pat himself on the back all day long for just approaching you, but he knew the real reason as to how this all happened. It was you saying yes to a stranger’s odd photoshoot. You made him the luckiest man in the world.

“Continue? Are you looking for excuses to keep seeing me?” You smirked and Jeno’s voice grew small.

“I--- uh, well,” there goes the nervous stammering, “I know the conditions were a one time thing, so I understand if you don’t want to do it again.” As the night had progressed, Jeno gradually began to hold eye contact and actually looked at you directly without the help of seeing you through a lens. This was the first time he broke it.

“Hey now, I’m messing with you, Jeno.” He had been sitting on your floor, at the end of your bed. You crawled on your elbows to reach him, and to hold his chin to face you again. Deja vu. “I’d love to get naked for you again, and again, and.. as many times as you want me to.”

He stared at you with his mouth hung open in disbelief. His eyes scanned your beautiful face to see your lips pull back into a mischievous smile. Gulping, he swallowed every ounce of courage he had left. “You don’t have to say it like that.” He tried to remove your grip, but it latched onto his hand.

“You’re finally looking me in the eye, sweet thing. I don’t think you realize how much I had been wanting that from you.” You caressed his cheek, rubbing small circles on his texture.

“What else do you want from me?” His implication sounded suggestive, even if his curiosity was innocent.

Your hot breath brushed against Jeno’s lips. “I can show you.”

Jeno, the one and only college guy who has seen your naked body in a non-sexual context. Jeno, the shy, sweet boy who appreciated and recognized you as a form of art. Jeno, the talented and skillful photographer, who consistently made sure you felt comfortable. Jeno, the only person in the world who you’d model nude for. Jeno, the dazzling character behind the camera who you wanted more than anyone else you’ve ever met. Lee Jeno.

He seemed like he was inching closer, already tilting his head to fit your’s. You smiled to yourself, seeing that your words were received well. Diving in, your lips swam together fervently.

The poor boy found himself lost in your enchanting, alluring gaze. He let the trance consume him, selfishly kissing the art he admired so dearly. A small part of him felt the guilt and confusion that began to rise. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wished to feel your lips on his neck, or run his hands across your hot skin. He swore these thoughts were not present earlier.

A small pop! and Jeno held your shoulder to pull away. “I’m sorry, did I do something?” You asked, honestly concerned that you were taking more than you deserved. The least you desired was to hurt Jeno, who had been nothing but nice and sweet.

“(Y/N),” you could listen to your name roll off his tongue all day, “I feel somewhat guilty. I don’t want things to be misunderstood.”

��Which would be?”

“I don’t want you to think I coerced you into being my model just because I had intentions to sleep with you.” Jeno was already gathering his things, but you hopped off your bed and placed a hand on his chest. “Because that’s what it’s starting to look like at the moment.”

“Was that something you did though? Did you have those intentions?” Your stare bore right through him. The warmth of your hand relaxed his racing heart.

“Never, (Y/N), I would never do that to someone.” Your hand traveled down to grab his belongings and tossed it back onto the ground.

He silently watched as you took off your pants, and stood in front of him in your underwear. “Then, we’re fine. I know your intentions have always been pure. But truthfully, Jeno, seeing you focused while you worked sparked something in me. You don’t understand how aroused I got and how badly I wanted you to fuck me on that bed.” His hand trailed up your exposed thighs, finally touching your softness. “You’re the one guy I wanted first, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that.”

“I-- I don’t know what to say.” His cheeks revealed how embarrassed he was, but his dark, lustful eyes were telling a different story.

A smirk fell upon your face, “then don’t say anything.”

Jeno devoured you, inhaling the light hint of vanilla that still lingered. He hoisted you onto your mattress and kissed you like his life depended on it. His antsy hands roamed your free range, exploring, holding, gripping the parts he marveled over. Small moans from the back of your throat encouraged him to continue.

No one has ever kissed you with the amount of passion Jeno did. It was gentle, with enough vigor to cause your panties to dampen. It wasn’t sloppy, where previous guys had a problem of missing your mouth entirely and slobbered your chin.

His lips worshiped you, highlighting your good sides. Flashes of the photoshoot popped into Jeno’s head as he left purple marks on the places he loved capturing the most. He pushed up your shirt, exposing your chest to him again. His tongue circled around your hard nipple as he made sure to give the same amount of attention to each one.

Jeno knew he was too shy to hold your intense stare, but getting to know you during and after the photoshoot, he could see the softness in your gaze. He was, now, able to see all of you. The sight of you through the camera was addicting enough, so finally taking you all in was more than satisfying.

Your hands ran through his hair as he kissed down your torso. His thumbs hooked the waistband of your underwear, and peeled it off your body. You gasped as the cold air from your apartment grazed against your exposed figure.

Jeno paused to admire your glistening pussy, “would it be okay if you let me make love to you?”

Your heart burned, not out of embarrassment, but at how he still managed to ask you for your permission in the sweetest way. You rested your weight on your elbows, “no one has done that before, would it actually make me want to fall in love with you?”

“It wouldn’t be too bad. I have a lot of love to give and you look like a person who deserves all of it anyways.” Jeno’s finger ran over your wet slit and rubbed your clit slowly.

Your moans filled the room as the electric jolted throughout your veins. The wetness grew, seeping out of you like a waterfall. Jeno dropped down to his knees, and lifted your legs on his broad shoulders.

“Are you usually this wet, baby?”

Chuckling, you smiled at his bold choice in using pet names, “Just for you.”

He hummed, chiming at how he liked your answer. Spreading you open, his tongue met with your swollen bud that begged for his licks.

His tongue darted side to side, up and down and in result, your back arched in pleasure and a darkness clouded your mind. His name and mindless profanities streamlined their way out of you as Jeno ate you out in such a precisely delicious way.

Grabbing a fist full of hair, you pulled him closer, even if there was no more space to fill. Looking down, you two exchanged glances before he thrusted a finger into you. Your hips bucked harder as he eased in another one.

Jeno curled his fingers in search of your sweet spot and found it when a deep moan escaped your throat. His fingertips rubbed and pressed into your plush flesh, causing you to practically scream and squirm in his mouth.

He suckled your clit and fingered you simultaneously and quickly. The pleasure was overflowing and you released his hair to grip your sheets below you. Your legs shook and trembled as he had no caution to stop.

“Please, I’m going to--” you could barely talk due to your face contouring to the splurge of pleasure every single time Jeno rubbed your spot. “--to explode.”

He had to take back what he thought earlier in the day. This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever laid eyes on. The whole scene played like from one of his favorite films. It felt like he was giving his photos life. Your body twisted and turned, accentuating the curves of your lines.

Jeno had become painfully hard against the fabric of his jeans, but seeing you fall apart because of his minimal movements exhilarated him. “P-Please, don’t stop.” A breathy moan followed suit and your thighs tried to press themselves together. Jeno didn’t allow it, his free hand hooked underneath your left thigh to pull one side away from his cheeks.

Your high gradually grew so tall that it all eventually came cascading down. Your legs shook violently and sat up from the euphoria that took over you. Jeno prolonged your buzz and you screamed loudly, having to bite down on your fingers to stop yourself from angering your neighbors.

Jeno drank you up, letting your wetness cover his chin and drip down his knuckles. He pulled away, at last, and you took deep breaths to control your heavy breathing. It was like Jeno knocked the wind completely out of you.

He stood up and you saw the outline of his hard bulge straining itself through his jeans. The next scene was quite animalistic. You, still embodying your high, sat on your knees and unzipped his pants with your needy hands.

“Now, it’s your turn to get nude for me.” You whispered, tauntingly. Jeno groaned when you reached down and gently pulled him out. He stepped out of his clothing, all of it. His shirt was lost in the corner and his bottoms were scattered over your floor. Mirroring his actions, you took off your last piece of cloth.

Jeno was built. Though his biceps did not go unnoticed during the photoshoot, you were surprised at the lines of muscle that sketched his body. It made your mouth water, seeing his extremely hard dick stand against his toned abs. His red tip fell just below his navel. Jeno only kept getting better as the night continued on.

Pulling him closer, his hand found their way to the back of your head as you aligned your mouth to the wetness that spilled from his tip. “I want to make you feel good.” Jeno’s hoarse voice made your knees weak.

Peering up, you batted your eyelashes at him fondly. “Just a little taste?” You begged, having to hold his shaft with both of your hands because of his thickness. Your tongue was already stuck out, your hot breath causing the tiniest bit of sensation for him.

He nodded and his eyes were trained on you. He didn’t want to miss any second of your kitty licks. You flattened your tongue against his warmth, dragging it up to the top. The saltiness hit your palette as you swirled around his redness. “Oh--” Jeno threw his head back and bit his lip, “--lay on the bed now.”

You smiled sweetly and gave his member a quick kiss before reaching for a condom in your drawer. Jeno climbed onto your bed and situated the rubber comfortably. You laid on your back and he was fast to pull your legs around his waist.

He lined himself at your entrance and eased his tip in slowly. Squirming, you craved him to fill you up to the brim. He leaned down to kiss you, letting your tongue lap with his. It’s your hands with the mind of their own when they flew automatically to hold his face whenever you wanted to deepen the kiss. Then, Jeno stretched himself all the way in and he caught your gasp with his lips. He groaned, feeling the mess he created merely minutes ago.

His hips moved so easily with your wetness, but he went slow. Dragging out each pull and then, pushing himself back in roughly. “Jeno!” Your body jolted up the bed each time. His body fell over yours to hold you intimately, letting you bury your face into his neck. Your lips latched themselves onto his sensitive skin, painting a purple sunset.

Jeno’s arms snaked underneath your thighs as he pressed them to your chest, folding you almost into a ball. Your mouth hung open as he fucked you harder, rougher, deeper yet keeping the tempo rhythmically slow. At this point, you could feel his hits in your gut. Your weak hands gripped loosely around his strong wrists that held your legs down. “You’re pussy is so tight and holy shit---, you keep getting more beautiful.”

A familiar burning sensation set in your chest as you saw how concentrated his face had become. You were so fucked out that you could barely speak, “you—” his hips mercilessly slammed into you powerfully, enacting a low moan every time he reached your sweet spot. “—keep surprising me.” His actions came to a halt and he stared deeply into your soul.

You whined, wiggling your hips for any friction. He held them down into the mattress, knowing his grip was strong enough to leave a mark. “I told you, I was going to make love to you tonight.”

“I’ve already fallen for you.” You said breathlessly, tracing the side of his face and pecking his lips softly.

“You don’t understand what you’re doing to me by saying those things.” He whispered and pushed his entire shaft to fill you to your brim.

You yelped his name and gripped his shoulders, but he wasn’t done yet. “Show me how badly you wanted me the first time you saw me.” Jeno blinked at you in slight shock.

As he continued to hold the deep gaze, he kept pushing his dick further and further into you. He was balls deep, almost impossible to keep going. He fucked you without the need to pull out, just burying his cock deeper into your wet pussy. You exclaimed, moaned, cussed at every push. Holding the stare was more than enough to lose yourself all over him again.

Jeno was drunk with the image of your fucked out expression and every time the mixture of pleasure and pressure caused your eyebrows to crease and mouth to open release sensual sound. He had been trying his best not to come undone, to fixate another climax for you.

The feeling of you wrapping tighter and tighter around him drove him insane. “Give it to me, please.” Your muffled plead called for his release, but he could feel that you were close to your second.

Jeno sat up on his knees and pulled you into his arms where your thighs fell over his. You groaned at the empty feeling, though it was quickly replaced with a gratifying moan when he inserted himself again. Your arms dangled around his neck, foreheads touching intimately.

The fucking eye contact again, how could you get enough of it? You giggled, amused at how different Jeno was when he eventually opened up. He wrapped his strong arms around your back and thrusted his hips up into you. The way this man made you squirm, scream, and shake were nothing you’ve experienced before.

He smirked, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek when he went rampage on your pussy. “Not laughing now, are you?”

You whined in pleasure, brushing your fallen strands of hair out of his face. “Shut up before I make you.”

“Then I’d rather keep going.” Kissing up his jawline, you lead your way to his pout. His kisses intoxicated you with his passion and madness, like the most intense part of a symphony, or when the bass drops after a long build up in a song.

Jeno sped up, ramming up into your slick pussy over and over again. He even brought your hips down to match him, guiding you down as he went up. The headboard was knocked against the wall, your windows steamed up, cries of pleasure from the both of you created the ambiance, the smell of sex filled your lungs. Jeno reached between your bodies to furiously rub your clit to where it felt almost raw. It all sent you into the clouds, the familiar queasiness settled in your lower half.

Your eyes rolled back and your back arched, having to pull away from the desirous kiss with Jeno. “I’m cumming!” You announced before the tension unraveled, causing you to see absolute white. The second wave was much more uncontrollable, Jeno felt you squeezing radically around his dick as he tried to fuck you faster to prolong the feeling.

Your legs shook around his and your upper body went limp with pleasure. You reached the peak of the mountain and it came crumbling down underneath your toes. It was catastrophically enthralling, to the point where you physically felt something leave your body.

“Oh shit..” Jeno stopped his motions at the sight of you squirting over his lap. He pampered your torso with fluttering kisses, hoping to calm your spastic body. “...baby, are you okay?” He asked with a bit of concern of how lack of life you seemed.

This man just gave you the best climax in your whole life and he asked if you were okay? Regaining your senses, you sighed a small yes to reassure him that he didn’t actually murder you. Hopping off, you pulled the condom that restricted him.

He hissed when you cupped his balls in your palm. “Cum, my sweet thing.” You purred and Jeno’s hand pumped his member aggressively. You leaned in to help, sucking the tip and flicking your tongue over his slit.

His other hand gripped your neck, causing you to drip on your sheets. Jeno was panting and with every tug, it became louder. He seemed so desperate to release that it made you smile to be the reason behind it. “Can you lay down,” A grunt followed his question, “please.” He huffed.

“Because you asked nicely.” Smirking, your back hit the sheets and you opened your legs to give Jeno a view. He situated himself above your stomach, as he fucked his tight grip.

“I’m cumming---” He couldn’t look any more amazing. With a final moan, the white streaks streamed out in short sequences. It landed across your abdomen, over your nipple, and pooled around your belly button.

Bringing himself back to reality, Jeno stepped back to marvel you, his masterpiece. The white streaks coated your purple skin and your chest rose fast to catch your reality. Gazing upon your naked body, he was utterly infatuated with all of you. He was so in love with the sight of you that not a single photo could capture the beauty that you were.

Jeno pondered the thought of how merely a day changed a small part of him. You were life changing, addicting, an incomparable character that he felt like he’s known forever, and now, couldn’t live without. It was the taste of your juices on his lips, your sweet melodic music that was your voice, your daring smile that enticed him to never peel away from you. It was simply you.

He leaned down to rub his knuckles against your cheek, planting a lovingly peck on your forehead. “I’ll go start the water for you.”

Jeno anticipated the reaction of his mentor. He found himself at the same scene he was when he was first given the task. Taemin sat across from him, hunched forward to analyze his new set of photos on his laptop. Raw, unedited photos of you, your body, your details.

The hum of the air conditioning droned on, driving him mad. Jeno needed one reaction, but Taemin had been silent and expressionless for the past ten minutes. Whenever he did move, it was to click through to the next picture.

Suddenly, he shut it closed and stood right up. Jeno, panicked, did the same. Taemin stuck his hand out and Jeno hesitantly grabbed it, incredibly unsettled and unable to read the older man.

Taemin received it firmly, giving Jeno a good handshake. “Welcome abroad, Lee Jeno. I expect even more great things from you.”

Jeno registered his delightful mood switch and he was fast to follow up, “my photos, --- you --- like them?”

Taemin nodded generously, patting Jeno on his shoulder. Taemin reached up to tap his own eyelids. “What you can see, is very special, kid. You’re an artist and I’m here to recognize that for you. It seems to me, you can do more than take pictures of sidewalks.”

Jeno smiled happily, his eyes disappearing from joy. He couldn’t wait to tell you about it.

The rest of the week, leading up to Jeno’s appointment, had felt nothing short of blissful moments together. You and Jeno spent almost every waking minute together without the cost of your friends’ time. He walked you to your classes, some even being across the campus from his own. You accompanied him for meals, even sitting in his lectures to just be with him.

There were no words that established what you two had become to each other. Jeno wasn’t looking for that anyways, in fact, he somewhat liked the ambiguity. If only he could tell you how making love to you made him begin to actually fall for you.

You were never one to hold a serious relationship, but you found a small want for that festering in Jeno. It was hard to admit to yourself, but Jeno saw you for all that you were. He truly saw you, whether it had been through a lens or through his own eyes. He captured your rawness and you were able to find vulnerability around him.

He ran to you, where you sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish his meeting. Peering up from your phone, you noticed the beaming smile on the boy’s face. You couldn’t hold back your own grin, seeing him apparent with so much joy. “I’m guessing good things?”

“I got it, (Y/N)!” He jumped into your arms and you laughed at the sudden affection. “He loved my photos.”

“I didn’t doubt it for one second. You’re an artist, Jeno. You create masterpieces that make even someone like me, feel like art.”

Jeno hugged you closer to his chest, giving you a tiny squeeze. Pulling away to face you, his eyes examined your outstanding grace. You knew what he was already going to say, but simply wanted to hear him say it. “That’s because you are art.”

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shootthemessenger · 4 years

Text

the delicate art of a criminal mind [a.m-r. ; b.d.h.]

ally mayfair-richards x fem!reader x billie dean howard

summary: two of the FBI’s most wanted, two convicted felons, and a policeman’s daughter make for one hell of a love story

disclaimer: strong language, sexual nature, brief adultery, short-lived angst

I’m so sorry that this sucks, I had a fucking AMAZING version of it that got deleted due to technical difficulties (me, im the technical difficulty) also this is an edited version of a story I wrote YEARS ago so if some of the names/third person editing are/is wrong I’m sorry

gif belongs to @valenthatgurl

Billie’s eyes traveled slowly down your body, mind drinking in your figure as a delicate smirk probed at her lips. “Have I ever told you how much I adore you, sweetheart?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from your throat or the smile on your face. The blonde moved carefully behind you, letting her hands fall against the curves of your hips where they rested gently. She liked to hold you between her two hands.

“Often.” You replied simply which only caused her to let out a breathy chuckle and press a chaste kiss to the base of your neck. Billie locked eyes with you through the mirror in front of you, eyebrow twitching in amusement as she watched you adjust your earrings carefully.

She had bought you them last week, in a small shop in Miami, refusing to show you the price tag even after she bought them. It was often that she showered you in small, expensive gifts. Afterall, she believed she had to pay you back for kidnapping you in the first place.

It wasn’t planned, necessarily. Your mother was a police chief in the small town you lived in who had been hunting after Billie and her team for months. As crazy as it seemed as you stood there so intimately with her, she was a criminal and had been for most of her life.

It started when she was younger, stashing trinkets into her backpack from stores and gifting them to her friends. Then she moved on to bigger things, clothing and electronics from the mall that she would keep just for the thrill of knowing she had them.

Then came the bank heist. She had gathered her team, team being her good friend Misty and Misty’s girlfriend, Cordelia. They forced their way into the bank and forced the money into the bags as swiftly as they could.

By the time they got outside, they was surrounded with bags upon bags of cash tucked in her team’s hands. Completely drowning under the police presence, they had no choice but to shovel into the police car closest to them and pray they were capable of getting away.

What Billie hadn’t accounted for was the fact that you would be sitting in the passenger seat of the car she rushed, waiting for your mother to return and finish, what had started off as, your ride-along for the day.

Nevertheless, she had no time to think before she was barreling down the road and hoping she could figure out what to do with you once she was out of such traffic.

In the beginning the two of you hated each other but the more time you spent together the more you fell for one another.

Eventually, you started dating and had been growing strong since then. Now you were here, the four of you had been on the run together for 3 years and had covered most of the U.S..

You were the current occupant of an old, run-down hotel in LA. Tonight, you were headed to a new club that had just opened up downtown.

Billie called it “hiding in plain sight” but really it was just an excuse to get you into the black dress she had loved so much and grinding up against her into the late hours of the night.

"I love you so much." Billie’s voice was low and raspy, the way she knew you liked. "I love you, darling." You returned.

Weird looks were shot to Billie from her two partners, they had never seen the woman be so affectionate towards someone so openly.

It was easy to say that Billie had never been affectionate to anyone until you came along.

Billie was the leader of the three; easily the brains of the group. She was cunning and persuasive and intelligent; all things you'd think a criminal would have to be to do the things that they would do. She was damn near a loose cannon and not many people risked getting too close.

Cordelia and Misty were the only friends Billie really had and she didn't mind one bit. She worked better alone.

Never get in Billie Dean Howard’s way; everyone knew that by now.

Misty was what most people would call the muscle of the group, though all three of them could easily take down someone on their own. She was tactically trained and she could easily rough someone up.

She always wore a set of thick leather gloves around her slender fingers, which meant that she was ready to start swinging anytime she might have needed to. It kept people from messing with Billie and Cordelia and it got them whatever they needed and wanted.

Cordelia, on the other hand, was more of the beauty of the group. Not that she couldn't rough someone up if it came down to it, but there was something about her that drew people in. She was incredibly beautiful and she had no problem using that to her own advantage. She could get anything with a bat of her deep brown-colored doe eyes and, of course, her habit of biting her lip didn't hurt when added to the mix.

She was irresistible, especially in the type of clothes she was wearing now; a short black dress that hugged every delicate inch of her body. She had the perfect hips to fill in a dress like that. She was the team's biggest distraction.

“Uh...B?” Misty interrupted, her eyes scanning over her phone screen. “Maybe we should just stay here tonight.” She proposed, glancing up at the blonde.

Billie cocked her eyes, hesitantly pulling away from you to sit on the end of the bed. “Why’s that?” She pulled a cigarette between her lips and lit it, watching glancing between her two partners.

"Ally is in town and by the looks of it, she’ll be in the exact same place we will.” She turned a phone around to display a text sent from her from one of her former accomplices, it read “look who i just ran into” with a photo of the woman attached.

“We need to take her out.” Cordelia piped up, moving to sit on the dresser across from the bed. “Tonight.”

Ally Mayfair-Richards was another criminal, just as the three girls were. She was the only woman or man who had ever dared to step up towards Billie’s authority. When it became two much, the three girls parted ways with Ally and decided to stick together without her.

Since then, they had all been rivals and avoided each other at all costs in fear one party would cause harm to the other or worse; they’d all get caught together.

Billie knew that all she needed was to get the cops and Ally in the same place and let the law do it's job to rid her of her rival. It wasn't like they wouldn't know her from her face, they'd been chasing her for almost seven years now, but it wasn't like they didn't know Billie’s face either.

“How are we supposed to take her out and go unnoticed? That’s fucking impossible without getting our own asses caught.” Billie huffed as Misty began to pace in thought.

It was silent for a moment until Cordelia’s face lit up, a look that had caused Billie trouble since the very beginning. It was never good when Cordelia gave that look. “Y/N!” She suddenly blurted out, face curling into a cunning smirk.

All three of you made a weird face at her, “What about her?” Billie questioned cautiously. “We can use her.” Cordelia answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “shes smoking hot and everyone knows Ally is a sucker for an attractive woman.”

Billie’s eyes widened as she rose to her feet before narrowing at the woman across from her, “Don’t even fucking think about it.” She hissed, hand already balling at her side.

She moved in front of you, blocking you from Cordelia’s view, “Get that thought out of your thick skull because it’s not happening.”

Misty sighed, “Come on B, all she’s gotta do is a little bit of grinding and a lot of distracting and we can handle the rest.” Everything was quiet as Billie glanced between Cordelia and Misty, “No.” She mumbled harshly.

Misty huffed, “It’s our only option, B. Ally doesn’t know what Y/N looks like and by now, she’s grown so much she could easily hide from the cops. It’s perfect!”

“It’s Ally to prison or us, you choose Billie.” Cordelia added, causing Billie to huff and glance at you.

“I don’t mind.” You finally spoke, playing with Billie’s fingers gently. “I’ve always wanted to help.” You pouted, knowing Billie had a weak spot for your eyes.

After a moment of silence she sighed and stepped towards the two women across the room, “Anything happens to her and I’ll send you both to prison myself, whether I have to join you or not.” Cordelia and Misty both grinned as they murmured their enthusiasm and disappeared down the hall to their own room.

Billie turned to you as soon as the door clicked closed, pinning you against the mirror you had been getting ready in. You offered a sheepish smile to which she shook her head, “ That’s not going to work this time. Anything goes wrong and I swear you’ll never get to help us again, do you understand me?”

Her eyes watched you, fueled with fire. You gulped and nodded as she pressed her lips to yours firmly, gripping your hips with a new kind of power she had not had a few minutes ago.

By exactly eight-thirty, the four of you rolled up to the club. Lights and loud music from inside were already screaming at you and you could feel the music vibrating against the concrete. Billie was starting to get nervous, all thought she’d never openly admit it.

Cordelia turned from her place in the drivers seat and glanced at you in the back, “Alright chica, all you’ve got to do is dance. There’s a cop down the street and we’ll get him on Ally’s trail. We’ll all be keeping an eye on you. You’ve just got to keep her attention long enough. Just be sexy, that’s all you have to do.” Billie huffed in protest at the last part, her grip on your leg becoming tighter.

Once Misty and Cordelia had scurried out of the car, Billie turned to you and pressed her lips against your ear, “I’ll be watching you, little one.” She watched the shiver rack your spine before jumping out of the car and disappearing into the club.

You let out a heavy breath before getting out and making your way inside. Immediately, you were met with the sexual tension suffocating the room as bodies moved against one another.

You located Billie across the room, settled at the end of the bar and the other two women situated in a booth across the room.

You locked eyes with Billie and winked descretely before settling into an open seat and ordering the strongest drink you could find; you were going to need it.

No more than ten minutes past before you could feel someone standing behind you, a hand brushed against your hip as they sat down and you jumped slightly.

“Didn’t mean to scare you.” The woman mumbled softly as she settled into the seat next to you with her arm rested on the bar. “Let me get you another drink.” She offered.

Her voice was quiet and thick as she leaned into you, a strand of her hair brushing against your shoulder.

Looking up, you locked eyes with her and caught a blush that began to spread across your face. You nodded softly, regaining composure as you stuttered something along the lines of “sure” and allowed her to lean into you as she laughed, “No need to be nervous, beautiful.”

“I saw you from across the room, no woman as beautiful as yourself should sit alone.” Mentally, you rolled your eyes at her cheesy confidence, watching closely as she licked her lips before ordering two drinks.

You were so caught up in staring at her that you couldn’t even catch what she was talking about. That was, until her fingers snapped in front of your face and you had to force yourself into reality, “Huh, what?”

She shook her head and laughed, “I asked you your name.” She repeated, leaning in so that you could hear her better. “Y/N. Yours?” You answered softly, taking a sip of your drink.

She licked her lips once again, “Ally.” Your eyes widened before you quickly corrected your face. She propped her elbow on the counter as you glanced at the clock nervously. Now that you knew it was her you were talking to, you were growing nervous.

“Would you like to dance?” You questioned, shaking of the nervousness that probed at your stomach. She simply smiled and pushed herself onto her feet, allowing you to stand. She followed you out onto the dance floor, waiting until you were situated before letting her hands find the dip in your waist and pulling you to her closely.

As you started to roll your hips into her, she leaned in until her mouth was lingering against your ear, “You really are a sight for sore eyes. You were having trouble concentrating as her lips began to trail down your neck.

“T-thanks.” You let your eyes flutter closed, almost finding yourself enjoying the feeling of her lips on your skin until the thought of Billie popped into your head and your eyes snapped open again.

Ally was surely leaving a hickey on your neck, and the eerie feeling of someone watching you was bubbling in your chest though you couldn’t figure out which direction it was coming from.

One again, you let the feeling of Ally pressed against you and the base rattling your tipsy brain take oven. “You’re enjoying this just as much as I am.” Ally mumbled from behind you, fingers digging into your skin.

You couldn’t deny it. You had Billie, you would never be able to deny the love you had for her. But in that moment you craved Ally.

And you couldn’t stop it. It was eating you up inside but you let the alcohol pumping in your veins control you and simply nodded and turned to face her.

You couldn’t help but notice she smelled like honey. As you took a deep breath, a fire ignited somewhere within you. It was very different from the strawberries and cream smell you were used to with Billie.

Your little bubble with Ally was burst as the door to the club swung open and a cope stepped in, his eyes glancing around the room as if he was already looking for someone.

You felt Ally tense beside you, before your eyes met and her face spread into a mischievous grin. “You’re coming with me.” And with that she was tugging you out the back door.

Billie felt a heaviness in her chest, one that made it heard to breathe and made her heart feel as if it was beating so hard in on her chest that it was rattling her bones.

Her eyes had turned a violent black color as her fingernails dig into her palms so persistently that she created crescent shapes in her skin.

She could have killed someone right in that moment.

She was only brought out of her state by someone clearing their throat from beside her and turned to meet her partners, who both look d so nervous they could faint.

“We lost her.” Misty squeaked out, they had all taken their eyes off the dancing girls for a split second and by the time their narrowed their attention, they were gone.

Billie’s eyes visibly darkened and Cordelia gulped nervously as Billie backed the two of them into a wall, “Find her. Or so help me God, you’re dead.”

Back outside, you and Ally slowed down next to a car you assumed to be hers. You could see the outline of two bodyguards through the tented windows.

Ally smirked, pressing you against the passenger door as her lips ghosted against yours; neither of you leaning in enough to fill the small gap.

“I-uh-“ you mumbled underneath the taller woman, who let her eyes open again and pushed back slightly. “Come with me.” She stated quickly, taking your hand into hers, “we can travel all around the world and stay in fancy hotels; honeymoon suits for just the two of us everywhere we go. I can spoil you and make you mine. I can care for you. I want to.” She was rambling.

She took your silence as a cue to continue on, “I know you just met me and there are so many things you don’t know about me. There are so many things you deserve to know about me. I want to learn about you and let you learn about me.” She talked so quickly that she was having trouble catching her breath.

You took your bottom lip between your teeth, “Ally, I can’t.”

You were thinking about Billie.You were thinking about all of the memories you shared. All the moments you shared. The moments filled with hatred, the moments fueled by love, the times you went wild in towns you’d never traveled to before and probably never would again, the words you’d exchanged, the intimate moment where the whole world melted and it was jus the two of you. There were the times you made love, when Billie really took her time worshiping you and your body. Then there were the more rough times, usually fueled by anger or Billie’s raging jealousy. Just an hour ago you couldn't have fathomed the thought of doing any of those things with anyone else. But here you were, possibly going to run away with a woman you’d not even known for a full half hour.

“I have someone and I love her, I really do. She’s given me everything I’ve ever wanted and I can’t possibly betray her. She’s my soulmate.”

"You can't. Not if it's not me. I want you...I crave you...I need you." Ally’s voice was weak and she looked like she was ready to cry. Her chest heaved as she spoke, her voice wavering. "Please."

Your eyes locked with her, lip quivering as you a pressure in your chest.

A voice broke the two of you from your staring contest, "What the hell is going on here?" You could see Ally’s jaw lock as she turned towards the woman. "What do you want, Howard?" Ally moved between you and Billie, squaring her shoulders.

"I want what you took from me." Billie furrowed her eyebrows, training her eyes on you. You started to panic; on one hand you wanted to leave with Ally. Because you were attracted to her the moment you started talking. You couldn’t explain it, like you had known her forever and you were only catching up. It was like those cliché movies with the high-school sweethearts that loose touch and then reconnect. But on the other hand, you had been with Billie for so long and you loved her with your whole heart. You loved Billie so much it scared you. Billie was the type of first love that never went away. So you just stood there, looking between the two in agony.

"I haven't taken shit from you." Ally huffed, her eyes shooting daggers at the three girls in front of her. Misty and Cordelia stood tall at Billie’s sides, their eyes fixated on Ally.

Ally’s eyes flickered to you then back at Ally and you could see Ally tense even more. As Ally turned around, you could see the tears starting to pool in her eyes. "She's your..." Ally let out a deep sigh as you nodded.

Ally was sure you could hear her heart breaking in her chest. "Darling, come here." Billie said gently, motioning you to come to her. You hesitated for a second before slowly making her way over to her. You could just barely feel Ally’s hand brush against her wrist.

Billie quickly pulled you into her arms with a tight squeeze, "Thank God, you’re okay.” She breathed into your hair. You nuzzled your face in Billie’s neck and let the tears fall.

You had chosen Billie, you had chosen your home. You knew that, even if you had left with Ally, Billie would always be on your mind. You were in love.

The sound of Ally’s car pulling away caused both of you to let out a breath. Billie pressed your lips together before the sound of rapid footsteps and policemen shouting broke your moment. Billie pulled away, her face breaking into a wicked grin. "Run."

Taglist: @mssallymckenna , @proudnlittle , @coxmicbabygirl , @sapphicpaulsxn , @its-soph-xx , @fand0m-obsess3d-g33k , @paulsonix , @madamevirgo , @saucy-sapphic , @kikaykimkim , @billiedeansbottom

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necros-writing-stuff · 3 years

Note

oooooooooohh nooo thats so cute :(((( what u said abt young eden is so true omgg. they r also def the type of kid that brings stray cats n dogs 2 their home. so evrytime the orphanage carataker hears a meowing or barking inside they r like "gdi eden not AGAIN!!" but it wouldnt stop them lol. they r the type that r immune to scolding. after finishing wth being scolded theyll go back 2 do exactly what they r told not 2 do. oh n also they enjoy rough playing. so on top of being covered in dirt or mud, theyll always have bruises n scratches from getting into fights or just from falling or running around. also they have a habit of like, suddenly disappearing (maybe 2 the forest which makes them hard 2 track).

and lol ye i saw it, it made me go hmmm, a true missed opportunity. eden wouldnt let the chance pass. im manifesting a future update where we could give them oral spiderman style 🙏

a bit off topic but i was wondering if u have any ideas or hcs about eden n baileys relationship/friendship?? idk. eden being slightly aggressive n mad at u after they rescue(???) u from bailey when u miss ur payment kinda throw me off ngl. bc they dont act that way when they rescue you from remys farm or the asylum. like, wtf is going on??? idk. its a bit of head scratcher for me.

Ooooo boy Eden and Bailey's past is something I often think about.

Under a cut for sheer length

Okay so I think they are about the same age (late 20s to early 40s) and that they grew up in the orphanage together.

I think Eden was there since very young/birth, but Bailey came later.

Eden not having sole primary care takers fucked up their socialising skills and they felt more comfortable on their own (read:fear of abandonment).

Bailey I think came from a really abusive impoverished home, and thats what made them obsessed with money. They have a weird vendetta against their birth parents to be 'better' than them.

Eden had a stray dog they cared for, but one day when they were running through the forest, a wolf got at it. Hence their 'non of these would survive in the wild' line at the pet store, and their obvious interest in puppy play.

After that, Eden started to shut off even more, being aggressive with the other kids, until Bailey started hanging out with them.

Bailey was angry to be in an orphanage and could see that Eden obviously wasn't happy, so they sort of gravitated towards each other.

Bailey was also the only other kid that didn't cry when Eden hit them.

They're the only two people that know each other's birthdays, besides anyone who looks at their very real legal documents.

As they hit puberty and start growing, they get competitive. Both are rather controlling, so they make a ton of bets against each other. One of them being who can lose their virginity the fastest.

Eden is rather blunt at asking, scaring a lot of the potential partners off, while Bailey is smoother about it and of course wins the bet.

Some fellow orphans start going missing, making everyone uneasy.

This is also when they start noticing the rampant sexual assualt in town, travelling as two most of the time so they can fight people off easier, if needs be.

Terrible at school. Eden was great at English, decent at history, but good luck making them show up half of the time. Eden had a talent for art, however, particularly carvings.

Bailey was there to socialise and steal lunch money, but they had okay grades.

If this is set in England, they would have gone to a secondary school with a sixth form. This means ages 11-18 as students, and I hc that when they were in year 7 (1st year of secondary) Leighton was in sixth form (years 12 and 13). They did not get along for the brief time they would meet in the halls.

I also think Eden would have dropped out in year 11, at age 16, and probably had an apprenticeship with a woodworking company (explains making the coat rack and love seat).

Bailey starts getting into more and more criminal activities, dragging Eden into them too, until a local crime boss notices them. The boss takes Bailey under their wing, thinking Eden won't be right for the job.

Instead they ask Eden to get a job at the police station and help them get further footholds there, that's how Eden has all of those collars (inspired by that one anon), and possibly their rifle. Alternatively, Eden leaves for the military and comes back later.

It works, and they end up covering a lot of their tracks. It's probably around this point that Landry does a few smaller jobs around the place and starts hearing about the Boss' new protégé.

They both have money now, for the first time in there lives, and this is when their differences start to show.

Bailey wants more and more, where as Eden wants to be comfortable.

Bailey fits into the mobster life fairly easily, but instead of the drugs that a lot of the others peddle, Bailey specialises in extortion and blackmail.

They slowly end up getting quite a few powerful figures under their control, and when the boss dies and Bailey ends up in charge of the money? They buy the orphanage.

I think Bailey might have cared for the orphans at one point, in their own ways, but their greed got the better of them.

Working under the mob and the corrupt police has Eden start to hate and fear the town. The only place they felt safer was the forest - which was full of deadly animals. But Eden could protect themselves now.

Being tall and muscular means that Eden is often sent to intimidate or even physically hurt people, often times getting hurt as well. Not to mention when arresting people, some are rather adverse to going to jail and take stabs at them.

If I go with Eden joining the military, they come home hoping to have a familiar setting calm their nerves, but it doesn't. Working for Bailey to earn money also doesn't help, one job having them break into the police station and setting fire to their files (that's another way Eden could find the collars, think of their old dog, and take them in nostalgia).

Eden cracks when they're asked to kill someone off, only to realise its a kid. That's too far.

They go to Bailey and tell them they're done. They need an out, they're fucking miserable, barely sleeping, constantly anxious, and Bailey tries to convince them to stay at first, before realising that they could lose their best friend once and for all if they force them to stay.

So they start planning together what Eden should do, and eventually come up with the cabin. Bailey has Quinn/their predecessor in their pocket by this point, so some cash and threats have some builders help make it, including running water.

When in town, Eden supplies Bailey with animal furs for custom coats. Bailey gets Eden new books, cans of food, more bullets. And if you miss your payment, Bailey eventually gifts Eden with a spouse.

Eden gets angry if they 'rescue' you from Bailey cause its a reminder of the past they try to avoid, and they take it out on you. Of the fear they had as a young orphan of disappearing, something Bailey is now enforcing on more orphans. They take it out on you because violence has always been a way they've coped.

Occasionally, maybe on one of those birthdays, they sit at the lake and drink some whiskey together. They don't talk about their feelings, they're both too stunted for that. But it's comforting knowing each other is still alive and well.

#degrees of lewdity eden #degrees of lewdity bailey #degrees of lewdity #spill your guts #anonymous

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vinceaddams · 4 years

Note

obvs feel free to keep this private, but I got recommended the UFH channel by a friend of mine, haven't gotten around to watching anything from it. I trust your judgement on the content, but my friend considers it her main resource 🙃 of course, since you only watched a few videos you might not be able to answer this, but was there any specific really bad/unacademic approaches I should keep my eye out for that my friend might have adopted? we work on a historical festival together so im concern

(I was going to answer this privately but then it got really long and turned into a post I want to post.)

Oh dear! Well, It appears that the lady behind that channel only cares about the 20th century, so maaybe she’s got good stuff on the 20th century at least? I don’t know, but the 2 videos that I saw were so incredibly awful that I’m highly suspicious of all her stuff.

The first bad thing about her channel is that her videos all have a one or two sentence caption and nothing else. (I clicked on a few more just to check) No sources listed, no links of any kind except to her merch store. I don’t recall her mentioning any particular sources for any of the things she said in the videos either, she just declared them very matter of factly.

Good historians cite sources! Bernadette Banners’ video on the history of PPE has so many source links she ran out of room in the description box and had to put the rest of them on a page on her website. (Oh poo, now I feel a bit bad because I love Karolina Zebrowska but she really needs to do better with leaving source links. But she does talk about doing research, talk in a more nuanced way, and doesn’t present herself as an expert or academic, unlike the UFH lady.)

Good historians also embrace nuance, and aren’t afraid to say “I don’t know” or “I was wrong”. Presenting things in a “this person did this one big thing, and then this happened, and that caused this” kind of way isn’t good because history is more like “all these things happened and as far as we can tell it appears to have influenced this, which was also connected to this other stuff that we don’t know all that much about”. History is foggy and complicated, no matter how much the general public wants it to be simple.

Her description of herself also seems a bit... misleading? In her about page on youtube it says “Amanda Hallay, a college professor specializing in fashion, costume, and cultural history.” but if you look at the CV linked on her website the only degrees she has are in creative writing and art history. I’m not saying a person can’t be really knowledgable about something without a degree, but her whole online presence is about being a “professor” who teaches this stuff so I find it weird.

And if the 1850′s-60s video is anything to go by, she presents things in a shockingly unprofessional way. She starts off by saying she thinks these fashions are ugly and ridiculous and that she has some “theories of her own” on them. @marzipanandminutiae has a post with a lot more about what was wrong with that video, and a few others I haven’t seen. She claims that hoop skirts were oppressive cages when in reality they were a liberating garment that allowed women to achieve full skirts without the heavy layered petticoats they wore previously.

She posts a photo of a naked lady and says “Now lets start with a beautiful naked lady and cover her up with ugly and unflattering clothes. Now this sexy naked lady isn’t so sexy” I wish I was making this up but that’s almost word for word what she said. Along with a whole lot of untrue or exaggerated stuff about Victorian modesty. She says dresses with layered flounces were called “pagoda dresses”, which isn’t a term that anyone has ever used for those dresses. She says this is cut down from a longer video she uses for teaching class, and I find the thought of this being presented in a classroom quite appalling.

After spending about 95% of the video talking about womens fashion in an extremely condescending and disdainful tone of voice, she posts what appear to be the 5 biggest and most extreme examples of 19th century moustaches she could find, presenting them as if they were what every man looked like.

This part really grinds my gears, because she says “I haven’t said anything about menswear because there’s really not much to say.” She posts photos of suits from 5 different decades and says they’re basically all the same, and also basically the same as a modern suit. Excuse you, there is A LOT of difference between menswear of the 1850′s and the 1890′s. Yes the changes over the decades are more subtle, and the colours are often more subdued than in centuries past, but it is absolutely not (as she claims) “the century when men stopped doing fashion”. I personally am not hugely interested in 19th century mens fashion, and can tentatively date things in the first few decades but after the middle of the century I can’t. But people who are interested and who study that era can tell the decades apart. Because they’re different. And there is SO MUCH to talk about! Suits for different levels of formality, accessories, waistcoats, sportswear, sleepwear, knitwear, swimsuits, loungewear, underwear, etc. are all extremely different from their modern equivalents.

It’s perfectly fine to only study womens fashion if that’s what you’re interested in, but it is not okay to then declare that the history of mens fashion is worthless and nonexistent. Simply not being interested in a thing is no excuse for publicly shitting all over it. (I’ve seen people do this more than once. We already have so few men who do historical fashion stuff! Stop putting off newcomers who might be interested!!)

The fact that her online presence is so closed off is also highly unusual. Comments are turned off for her videos, and the only social media link she has is to a private facebook group. (There is also a link to a fb page, but it appears to have been deleted.) Turning off comments is of course the personal choice of the one posting the videos, but the fashion history side of youtube usually tends towards pretty decent comment threads, and people often have nice little discussions and learn stuff in them. Here it looks like she doesn’t want discussion, doesn’t want to be contradicted or asked for sources, doesn’t want to learn new things.

I had never even heard of this channel until I saw @marzipanandminutiae mention it, nor have I ever heard any of the many historical costumers/youtubers I follow mention it, yet somehow it has 55k followers? I don’t know the demographics that watch it (especially not with the comments turned off!) but I’d wager that videos like the 1850′s-60′s one I suffered through are mainly watched by people who like hearing things trash talked, rather than people who actually want to learn about fashion history. The same sort of people who loved that Beau Brummell twitter thread, which was also full of lies and unsourced garbage. People like to believe the past was way worse and grosser than it was because it makes them feel like we’re smarter and better now.

Lastly, the whole premise of the channel is just bad. Calling any one thing “The Ultimate Fashion History” is a bad idea. Her channel trailer says “Youtube’s number one channel for original fashion history content” “we’ve got it all, fifty thousand years of fashion history”. You can’t have one channel that’s the ultimate resource for ALL of fashion history! It’s a huge, HUGE subject, and even if she did do actual good research she’d barely be able to scratch the surface of fifty thousand years. That’s like saying one channel is the ultimate source for all of science, or all of music, or all of cooking. No one thing can come close to covering all of it. I will deign to admit that she’s at least right to call it “original”, because she has some very original lies I haven’t found anywhere else.

Most people who study fashion history/historical sewing have one or several eras they like best and find most interesting, perhaps with occasional jaunts into other eras. This way we can focus and get a much better understanding of the eras that we find most interesting, rather than just a vague notion of everything.

For example: I’m most interested in 18th century menswear, and so far have mainly researched and sewn 1785-95 stuff, and more recently some 1730′s. I usually focus on fashionable civilian clothing, so I don’t know as much about working class clothes, and next to nothing about military and other occupational dress. Even with this narrow area of interest, which I’ve been obsessed with for many years, I still have so much to learn! I could never make anything claiming to be the ultimate source for 18th century menswear, because I’m just one person focusing on some aspects, and there are other people out there who research other aspects of it and their work is just as important. It’s all so big and so much, even if you narrow it down to one era.

Amanda Hallay is basically holding up a bucket of saltwater and calling it the ocean.

I haven’t watched any of her 20th century videos, so maybe they’re better than the older ones I watched. I don’t know. (But even if they’re actually good they still don’t have source links.) Edit: okay, nope, turns out they’re just as bad! They appear to make up the vast majority of her videos, so if she’s most interested in the 20th century then maybe she should just... make her channel more clearly 20th century focused instead of trying to paint it as a channel for all eras?

TL;DR, the main bad things about that channel are:

Lying and making ridiculous claims, not citing ANY sources. Spouting easily debunked myths.

Stating things matter of factly without any nuance, even though history is foggy and complicated.

Being extremely judgemental about historical fashions and talking about how much she hates them and thinks they’re ugly, which really isn’t appropriate for a fashion history teacher. You can hear the disgust in her voice and it’s awful and I hate it.

Comments turned off on all her videos, leaving no way to communicate or have public discussions. Unknowing viewers are left to accept her statements as fact without any outside opinions.

Claiming one channel is the ultimate channel for an incalculably enormous subject. Says it covers 50,000 years of fashion history when it’s mostly just the 20th century.

I would like to add that I am not what I would consider an expert either, and have no formal education in fashion history beyond the one college class that was part of my 2 year sewing course. I have learned mainly from books and the internet, and as I said earlier I still have a huge amount to learn. I’m sure a more knowledgable historian could put things better than I have.

But I’m confident in stating that primary sources are needed to back up a claim! Sometimes even widely accepted beliefs turn out to be entirely unfounded myths, like that one about doctors using vibrators to treat “hysteria”. Total nonsense someone made up in 1999.

Wow this post got way longer than intended. Anyways, yes, I do not like condescending slideshow lady.

#dongiovannitriumphant #ask #irksome things #fashion #history #long post

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jasperswh0re · 4 years

Text

Savior [Raylan Givens x Reader]

hihihi so im like super in love with this character and i haven’t seen like any writing for Timothy Olyphant Characters besides Cobb and Mickey... so i thought i would do that for our favorite U.S. Marshall, Mr. Deputy Raylan Givens

Might make this a series. Let me know if you wanna be tagged if I make another part!

Summary: You’re going about your daily errands at the bank when there’s suddenly a robbery. Luckily, a U.S. Marshall was inside and there to save the day. Gender neutral reader btw

Warnings: Gun use, swearing

---

You tapped your foot violently against the tiled flooring of the bank. In ten minutes you were to be at an appointment yet this line wasn’t moving an inch. The beat of your toes hitting the ground had you bouncing at insane speeds. You hated waiting.

“You doing alright there?” You heard someone say behind you.

You flipped around to see a taller man wearing a cowboy hat. He was looking down at you, an amused glint in his eye. He was handsome and his country drawl was deep.

“Just in a hurry,” You shrugged and smiled sheepishly. He chuckled when you turned forward to see that the line still hadn’t moved.

“Aren’t we all?”

“Kentucky life can be one hell of a doozy.”

“You’re tellin’ me...” He sighed. He was scanning the area, as if he was searching for something. Though, you didn’t think much of it and held out your hand.

“(Y/n) (L/n). Nice to meet you... I haven’t seen you around before,” You introduced yourself, snapping him out of detective mode.

His grin grew wide, “Raylan Givens... I work down at the uh-... Marshall’s Service.”

“Wow. A marshall. Do we really still have those? You look like you walked out a western film.”

Raylan’s head tilted back with laughter, making sure to hold the tip of his hat, and you felt any sense of urgency wash away.

“Like I haven’t heard that before.”

“It’s hard not to say.”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment. Smiles were wide on each face and the socially accepted distance for people in line was crumbling between you two.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” Raylan said. You shook your head no. “Where you from then?”

“Way up north. Just a little town in Oregon...”

“You’re a long ways from home then,” He lifted his head up once more to look around the room. His eyes would flicker back to one spot, not far from the two of you, in between sentences.

“I guess so...” You sighed. You stared at Raylan a little longer while he was focused on something else. When his gaze landed on you once more you checked the line in front of you. One person had been attended to. You and Raylan moved about two inches forward.

“What in the world is taking-”

Before you could continue complaining shots rang out inside of the tiny building. Instinctively, Raylan guarded you and brought you down to the ground. You let out a yelp, along with a few other screams from bystanders, as Raylan forced your body downwards.

“Sorry...” He muttered.

“Get down on the ground! Everyone on your fucking stomachs!” A man in a ski mask yelled, assumably the one who started firing. You couldn’t see since Raylan was blocking your view of the man.

No one dared to move a muscle so he lifted the gun at the nearest person to him.

Raylan, who was knelt down, pulled a handgun from his holster faster than you had ever seen. The robber crippled to the ground before he could make the shot.

For a split second, you thought you were saved until another robber in a ski mask came running in with a much larger gun. It must have been automatic, you thought. You didn’t know much about weapons. Raylan directed his gun in the new robbers ‘direction but the newcomer let out a tsk.

“Nuh-uh, you put that here gun down. Or I shoot. I got two buddies coming. This won’t end well for you.”

Raylan didn’t move.

“I swear to god, man. I’ll shoot.”

Raylan thought it through in his mind. This criminal was either bluffing or telling the truth. He could shoot, adding another life to his belt but it wouldn’t matter much anyway. The authorities were on their way. The robbers were wimpy, so this wasn’t going to last long.

He darted his eyes towards you. You were on the floor still, eyes wide with fear but otherwise gave no indication of being afraid. He looked around at the people and sighed, placing down his gun slowly.

The robber skittered towards the Marshall and kicked the gun away, holding the automatic rifle toward his face.

“Everyone. Jewelry and cash. Now! On your stomachs!” He hollered.

And they did. Two more robbers with their faces covered came in once everyone was down and they took any valuables offered. None of the three bothered with their buddy who was bleeding out on the floor and began taking out stacks of cash.

Before reaching the registers, one of the men stopped by your figure and grinned. A silver bracelet sat on your wrist, you had completely forgotten about it. He went for your arm and you jumped in surprise, instinctively pulling your hand away.

The man’s smile dropped to pure rage and shoved his gun in your face, his hand still locked around your wrist, “Give it to me.”

Your mind went blank. Raylan watched, ready to pounce at any moment if any moves were made and cursed himself for kicking his gun away. Ever worse, he knew it would be too risky to pull out his backup. So, he watched the robber decisively. And watched you carefully.

Words couldn’t formulate the feeling in your throat. You wanted to swallow badly but you feared any outside movement would end up in your head blown off. So, your hand moved slowly to unlatch the bracelet. It had zero sentimental value, so you weren’t about to make a fit.

He stalked off after snatching the thin piece of jewelry and you dropped your head in relief. One long breath of air exhaled from your lungs.

To your left you could hear Raylan muttering something under his breath. He was frustrated. Glaring daggers at the criminals in front of him. You studied his face while he did so.

“It’s okay,” You whispered.

His angry expression became thoroughly confused.

“What?” He hissed.

“It’s okay...” You repeated. “You looked angry, not only at these men but... also yourself. They won’t get away with it.”

Your ghost of a smile reassured Raylan. Everyone in this room was shaking in their boots or crying out of fear for their life. Yet here you were making sure that he was okay. Immediately after a gun was propped against your skull.

Had you not said a word, he’d have done something brash. Something that Art would definitely not be happy about. More AUSA cases, more paperwork. His gun wasn’t far, too. Instead here was this random person, laying next to him calm as can be.

And in all seriousness, you were a terrified. You’ve never been a part of something so scary. But you knew just as well as Raylan that these men wouldn’t be successful. Everyone would be okay if they just complied.

If, is the key word here.

Not far from the two of you, one of the robbers started making trouble. It was the same one that had confronted you. A man on the floor was aggravated, he didn’t want to give up his watch. So, as expected, the robber stuck a gun to his head. Raylan looked at his gun that was a few feet away.

The criminal continued to shove the weapon in the man’s face, screaming for the watch.

“I will shoot you fucking dead old man. Give me the goddamn watch.”

The man shook his head furiously. The robber opened his mouth once more to yell but was interrupted by the sound of a gun clicking.

“You wanna put that down now... don’t try anything.”

Raylan had his handgun pressed against the man’s head. His accomplacises were in the back, trying to open the large safes, so the man was left on his own.

“You wanna make the right decision now, don’t you?” Raylan’s southern drawl was calm but sharp. “You can either die right here... or go to jail. It’s that simple...”

There was no response, but the criminal set down his automatic slowly. At that moment the sound of sirens blared and officers stormed through the building. Raylan took the man by the wrists and shoved him at an nearby police officer, while shouting that his buddies were in the building somewhere.

With a sigh, you watched the chaos reign through the building. Much to your surprise, Raylan approached you with a grin.

“You’re pretty weird, you know?”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothin’ bad,” Raylan folded his arms. “You weren’t afraid. You didn’t even tremble in fear.”

“I don’t tremble,” You shrugged.

“Hell, I’ll believe you. Your hand was steady when giving him your bracelet.”

“I tend to stay calm in situations like these.”

“So you’ve had something happen?” Raylan tilted his head.

You paused, thinking of the words to say.

“I guess you could say that...” You finally smiled at the man in front of you. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“You saved all these people today. Especially that man,” You pointed at a victim. “And in a way, you saved me.”

“I couldn’t save your bracelet,” He lifted his brows. He seemed to regret that he didn’t stop the robber.

“You can make it up to me sometime...” You said, placing a hand on his upper arm. Raylan gave you a sweet smile. “See you around, cowboy.”

#raylan givens #justified #raylan givens x reader #justified x reader #timothy olyphant #bowd crowder #ava crowder

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polythremed · 3 years

Note

wheres the essay op i want whitsun bugs

there might not have been an essay before, but there is now! bugs and inverts are hugely overlooked. however, the victorians loved insects! they were huge inspirations in art, shells were used in fashion, so what would be more vogue than a giant bug for a pet?

(Punch, September 29, 1877)

the bulk of this talk will be under the cut but tl;dr is that arachnids still offer a lot of potential, beetles and moths live in the neath and were popular at the time, and there are a lot of lesser-known bugs that fit fallen london

also cw for bug images because there’s a lot of them beyond here, this is for people with good taste only

firstly: arachnids

FL has a lot of arachnids and this year’s whitsun saw the introduction of a squirrel with a scorpion tail! i think it’s a fun design personally, but arachnid companions are Not obsolete. the most relevant arachnids are crabs, and crabs are more varied than you might think!

(image by abc.net.au)

the yeti crab was the first crab to come to mind, related to hermit crabs and living in hydrothermal vents in the deep ocean. it means we’ve got another underground beast, and could you imagine this as a spired crab? it could be the product of shapeling arts, and the yeti crab’s famously hairy arms have the potential to be used as arm warmers or 1890s uggs for the discerning londoner!

there’s also the japanese giant spider crab, which might be more lanky than it’s neathy angler crab cousins, but look at those legs! how big do you think it is? how about taller than the average person?

you have to understand how badly i want to be this man they also inhabit vents near the bottom of the ocean (the crabs, not this man), they’re omnivores and one specimen’s measured in at 3.8 metres (12ft) across its outstretched legs! it’d probably be a dreaded companion by the sheer size of it, but imagine the walking sticks you could get from those legs

arrowhead crabs and horseshoe crabs are also runners up for this!

mites also came to mind, being small arachnids- the mite above is an adult female tea mite, and not much is known about mites! they’re primitive but have a terrible reputation, and FBG have shone the spotlight on other unloved creatures in the past. there’s also Caveat Emptor which tells us that the bazaar has parasites which are probably like mites? you could have your own romance vampire, surely nothing could go wrong

and if you’ve come here for spiders, how about the pelican spider? with a pelican-like head, pelican spiders prey exclusively on other spiders! isn’t that a fun way to counter sorrow spider infestations? introducing new species is a good thing, right?

higher tiers of this companion could start to own the whole pelican thing. i’ve seen monster designs of spiders with human heads but never a spider with a pelican head!

(image by me)

all he needs is some love and spiders

close arachnid contenders that i want to mention before this whole post is made up of eight-legged companions: camel spiders, harvestmen, and whip scorpions!

secondly: beetles

as john b. s. haldane once said, “god has an inordinate fondness for beetles”. and he’s right because there are more known species of beetle than types of mammal

in fact, the victorians fucking loved beetles (and butterflies but we’ll get to that)

we have phosphorescent scarabs as luminosity items and a few mentions of beetles in airs texts and in sunless sea, the latter where a beetle has been eating through your ship’s supplies. being from england, i have a vague idea of what sort of beetles would end up in london!

there are still stag beetles, rove beetles, and even cardinal beetles, but these by themselves might feel pretty basic. they’d be good t1 companions, but why not have a companion that’s a whole insect keeping setup? there’s even some colourful beauties like the scarlet malachite beetle which are now incredibly endangered

but if you want something Huge and Large and easily convertible into a fashion accessory, hercules beetles have a lot of potential! horns that can be used for knives in dockside brawls, or you could take most of the bug features and place them on a furry animal like a guinea pig since seas already gave us the guinea page

these beetles could also add diversity for the phosphorescent scarabs- and speaking of phosphorescent beetles, why not look to fireflies? they aren’t fire and nor are they flies, but to carry on with FBG’s habit of “slapping animals together to see what happens”, you could easily make something with the features of a firefly larvae

or you could take the even more interesting approach of having a grub the size of a cat, for example. hercules beetles have some of the largest larvae and the feast of the rose gave us maggots, so why not have one of these babies but the size of a cat? and glowing? they’re a possible light source that might make you more bizarre or respectable

a close runner up that i wanted to mention was diving beetles and how freaky they can get if they’ve adapted to the zee but the sabretooth longhorn beetle is going to close this segment as an embodiment of a dangerous and respectable companion- it already looks like it’s been carved out of wood! i think a carved polythreme beetle would be incredible

(see also: bombardier beetles, weevils, oil beetles, tiger beetles, harlequin beetles, trilobite beetles, and giraffe weevils!)

moths, and less commonly found underground, butterflies

another love of the victorians: butterflies!

butterflies are basically moths by a different name (there are way more moths than butterflies) and we do have canon dreams where a frostmoth the size of your head appears in your window, and wouldn’t that be useful for hunting in parabola? much like the beetles, there’s a lot of diversity that can be explored especially if we add shapeling arts

white plume moths are also found in the UK and just look at those wings

we can have a usual approach of adding the wings to something else, like a particularly unlucky bat, or just have something bizarre with the moth itself! more eyes? more eyes has been a common theme lately, or you can combine an insect with an arachnid and give it whip scorpion hands

these wings would be one hell of a decoration because white plume moths are considered to be micromoths

on the other end of the spectrum and taking the role of a respectable companion, the white witch moth is considered to be one of the largest insects on earth because of its wingspan! maybe they’re a more risky cousin of the frostmoth, maybe you could turn the markings on these wings into shifting sigils? don’t set your moths on fire

(image by Acrocynus)

white witch moths themselves have a lot of diversity while cup moths are another contender for an animal you could combine with another animal

(image by itchydogimages)

why not add the tail of a squirrel to this one? or a scorpion’s tail? a lion? with enough of these, you could end up with a very striking tawny coat. this thing is the embodiment of being neathproofed. even if they’re opposites of frostmoths and are associated with embers because of it, or if the tail is closer to being a candle!

moths are also good at mimicking in order to defend themselves, which is why you see so many moths and butterflies with eye patterns on their wings. birds hate eyes so much so there’s room for some real eyes on your brand new butterfly or moth companion

but some moths also mimic snakes, so for any fingerking fans out there: behold the atlas moth

this is such a mithridacy companion. can you imagine the t3 version of this where the snake heads are alive? we have a two-headed terror bird, so why not snakes on a moth? there’s even jokes to be made about one head telling truths and another telling lies, maybe the only head that could tell you the difference is the moths!

for butterflies themselves, we have butterflies that drink the tears of alligators and tortoises- so melancholy butterflies that only appear to feed on lacre? (and they might not be butterflies down here, you might’ve already mistaken a day-flying moth for a butterfly, not that the difference matters for much in the neath)

another strong mention is vampire moths if we’re carrying on the theme of insects drinking odd things, but a vampire moth with bat wings could be wonderful at ruining the lives of taxonomists

luna moths are also massive and could be more fitting now that we know who the creditor is, and that whitsun is talking so much about the bazaar and the masters

other lesser-known but interesting insects

we don’t entirely need to cover bees and wasps but it would be nice to have a piece of media showing wasps in a way that doesn’t present them as evil, but wasps could wait until hell is really significant again since wasps and bees are incredibly cool cousins. and thread waisted wasps!

(image by Bev Wigney)

get a load of that! these don’t even have the ability to sting humans, what would a thread waisted wasp-themed spindlewolf look like? how much shadowy with something with these colours give you? imagine the corsets inspired by these things

assassin bugs are another dangerous option considering how good they are at hunting other insects, and the neath wouldn’t be complete without more creatures that burrow underground and can find themselves in this weird cavern

(image by Fir0002)

their forearms are specifically developed to dig! perhaps they can dig through a rival’s belongings, or perhaps you can fashion their claws into brass knuckles or a belt buckle?

(image by faraaz abdool)

another fashionable, lesser-known invert is the velvet worm! we have plenty of slugs in fallen london, but you know what they’re lacking? legs

about 200 species of velvet worms have been described and they’re already quite rare! they all fall under the onychophora name and there isn’t anything else like them. you could easily have some persuasive with this, or if you turn it into a stole that can hold however many hands you want!

(image by docj96)

also, thrips! i found out about these today and apparently you’re likely to hear about them if you’re into gardening. sometimes they have crab claws for forelegs, so hey- more bazaar similarities! they have an interesting method of flight (clapping their wings together) but this might not bee too impactful unless you want a novel way to raise your investigating

flies are also criminally underrated, but i couldn’t tell you how many flies live in fallen london. stalk-eyed flies, however, are gorgeous things that would work so well as t2 companions! you could even go all out with a horsefly taking on attributes of an actual horse

(image by minden pictures)

the stalk eyed fly sees you five minutes before you can see it

there are genuinely so many more that come to mind (even neathy types of mantis- orchid mantids that have adapted to blend in with mushrooms! imagine!) but a good way to finish this off is with a love story

there are centipedes who will guard and hold their young close to them! giant centipedes are protective mothers and you can get hundreds of companions in one- or perhaps just one companion who really misses her hundreds of kids. and they hold their eggs just as carefully whilst waiting for them to hatch!

isn’t that a good love story? there’s a lot you can combine this with, but i’ve spent most of today writing this one! do with these creatures what you will, i definitely enjoyed talking about neathy possibilities for insects!

(bogleech also has a fantastic article on insects that should be used as the basis for pokemon designs, if you want even more out there bugs be sure to look here)

#memento of a post #asks #snippity #whitsun #insects #fallen london #bugs #spiders #im not tagging all of these but ohh my god this was so fun to write about #thank you for the ask!

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alittlewhump · 3 years

Text

Unbidden - Act 1, chapter 8

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Content warnings: death mention, possible minor body horror with regards to injury

It had been a fortnight since Andariel. Morgan was adjusting to his new reality, one where speaking much louder than a whisper for more than a few sentences made it feel like he'd been screaming his throat raw. Where pain was out of proportion to the damage that caused it. Where his left arm was all but useless. Although he felt well enough to get up and move around, the wound on his arm showed no signs of closing. An inky colouration had spread out from the puncture, extending up above his elbow and down to his wrist. It turned his stomach to look at it. Any remaining strength in the limb was negated by the pain that shot through it at the slightest jostle or pull. Akara's expertise in the healing arts was not sufficient to handle a wound like this, caused by a demon queen and determined to linger. She had offered her sympathies and a supply of bandages, which at least allowed him to bind the damned thing so he didn't have to see it. His own limited knowledge of medicine did not extend to this manner of injury either, so simply keeping it covered and clean seemed like the best option available.

Morgan had been spending most of his time and energy on meditation and geomancy. Physical pursuits were not very attractive at the moment, so instead he focused on improving his magic. He would need it more than ever now, given the state of his arm. Eventually he would return to the graveyard he'd marked, to check on the restless spirits there, but he wasn't yet well enough for that journey.

The ground around the encampment was largely untended, but the soil was good. Morgan had been using it to flex his magical abilities cautiously, not wanting them to suffer from disuse. He turned small patches at a time, shuffling the richer earth up toward the surface bit by bit, until eventually there was a respectable area prepared. Nobody had asked him to install a garden, but it felt like it might be a useful contribution. It also helped to ground him. He had often tended the gardens back home, and found now that he was missing that work.

Short forays into the surrounding fields were still within the scope of Morgan's ability. Over the course of about a week, he'd managed to successfully transplant a reasonable variety of usable plants. Comfrey, feverfew, yarrow, and chamomile had all been easy enough to spot, and each had at least one medicinal use. They also had the benefit of being reasonably hardy, taking root well in the freshly turned earth. He had also experimented a little with some preparations of other plants he'd found - an outcrop of sway grass by a small lake, some sage nestled in among a patch of bright trefoil, a little bark from the willow just outside the encampment - but despite following standard procedures for preparation, none of the resultant concoctions did anything to relieve the pain of his injury. He took some fruits from what looked like an oleaster, intending to dry them for another attempt in the future, but he kept his expectations low. If the wound wasn't going to heal properly, it stood to reason that the other effects would also linger.

Cain had been good company, stopping by often. He inquired about the garden as it was talking shape and seemed legitimately interested in the various applications of the plants filling it. Morgan took care not to speak at too much length on any one topic, endlessly interesting though they were. Equally fascinating were the tales Cain had to share in exchange. The story of Tristram had been a sobering one, between the king's corruption by Diablo and the destruction it had wrought. And it seemed that it was not yet concluded, given the hero-turned-dark-wanderer who had fled. It would be worth pursuing that tale to its conclusion; Morgan's original request had been duly fulfilled, but the evident threat to the Balance was more pressing than returning to the Necropolis.

He'd also been alternating between meditating on ways to improve his clay golems and creating small versions to test the changes he'd thought of. So far he had come up with a lot of failed designs, going too far to the extremes to test the boundaries. A build with above average mobility that would crumble in combat, a strong and sturdy make that could absorb a great deal of punishment but would be too slow to hit anything that wasn't standing still. Now it was time to rein it in, to tinker with proportions and the flow of magic through the construct until something better emerged. Morgan slipped easily into the in-between state, retreating into his mind while his body rested in a comfortable cross-legged position. A pleasant breeze ruffled the leaves of the tree he was leaning against. Today would be good for focusing on the smaller details. He lost himself for a time in the contemplation of his designs.

A crawling, prickling discomfort pulled him back into reality. The sun was getting low in the sky. Someone had put their hand on his shoulder, and they were speaking to him.

"- word I've said, have you?" It was Blaise, looking annoyed.

Morgan shifted away from her, and she let her hand fall. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't hear you. I was meditating." The rough sound of his voice was another thing he was still getting used to. He rubbed his throat gingerly. Should have thought to keep some water nearby.

"Of course you were. I said, I talked to Kashya and she's agreed to give you some training. If you're going to keep fighting monsters and demons, you'll need some help. With your swordplay. It's not very good."

She was right, of course. Now that he could no longer hold a shield, his sword would have to be defensive as well - and magic had always been his strength, not actual physical strength or coordination. He'd been planning to refocus himself entirely on the magical side of things, but this was undeniably a good idea even if he didn't relish the prospect of physical training. Any formal instruction in the use of a sword would be useful.

"When?"

"You're welcome. Whenever you're ready. As soon as tomorrow." Instead of turning to go, she sat next to him. He expected her to keep talking, but she didn't. Maybe she was working up to something. The silence stretched uncomfortably. She didn't like him, she'd often said as much - so why was she staying so near? He'd been doing his best to be avoidable, true to his word. She hadn't been taking advantage of it, instead crossing his path at least once a day. Probably some sort of sense of obligation. The Sisterhood had been treating him with a cautious, grudging respect since Andariel's defeat. It was... strange.

That reminded him of a question he'd been meaning to ask. Now seemed as good a time as any, so he turned to study her. "Blaise. Why did you tell everyone I killed Andariel?"

She startled visibly and raised a hand to shush him. "What the hell, Morgan," she hissed, "you can't just say-" she cut herself off, looking around furtively. Apparently satisfied that nobody was eavesdropping, she continued in hushed tones. "Look, if Akara and Kashya knew I killed that big ugly bitch, they'd never let me get away from this backwater. It's different for you. They're expecting you to go. And when you leave, I'm going with you. At least until I'm well away from here. This place... I'm not really cut out to be part of something like this."

"Ah." That explanation made enough sense. He hadn't realized she wanted to leave, but then he often didn't realize things about other people. Perhaps he'd misinterpreted her loyalty as fondness. There wasn't always a correlation there. She hadn't exactly been talkative during their time together - not to him, not about personal wishes and desires. It also explained the closeness; by spending time around him, she was putting on a front, laying the groundwork that would justify her departure. Satisfied, he turned away to look at the sky. It was starting to be tinged with pink, and it was lovely to see.

"How do you do it?" Now it was her turn to scrutinize him. She was staring intently at his face as though it was going to hold anything other than confusion. Do what? Had he slipped back into his thoughts and missed part of the conversation? "I mean, doesn't it bother you?" That clarified nothing. He stared blankly, and she huffed. "People don't like you. As a necromancer. I mean, we didn't exactly give you a warm welcome. But there's no way it's just us. Your kind are... well, hated."

Oh, that. It was just a fact. He'd come to accept it easily enough. People didn't usually take kindly to him even before they knew his particular area of specialization. He shrugged, wondering idly what had lead to the question. She didn't seem to like that response.

"It's normal," he offered.

"It's not normal! How could you think that's normal? How do you... live with it?" She gesticulated, as though the waving of her hands might clarify her meaning. It did not. How else would he live? He took a moment to search for the words to frame it.

"As followers of Rathma, we are driven by pursuit of the Balance. What others think of us is not important."

"Not im- Morgan, of course it's important! The way people treat you matters. You have to rely on other people all the time."

"I try not to."

Blaise pinched the bridge of her nose as though the conversation was giving her a headache. "Yeah, I know you do. But sometimes you don't have a choice. Like - there's no way you could have gone up against Andariel alone, she would have killed you in a second."

"Mm." While certainly true, it didn't change much. Alone, he would have been more cautious, planned better. Probably died anyway. Others would have come to take his place. His individual life only held value in the contribution it could make toward the Balance. Death came inevitably to all things; to die in service was at least honourable.

Blaise seemed agitated. "I don't think you understand - this is life and death stuff. For fuck's sake, you nearly did die! When-" she lowered her voice, which had risen in frustration. It shook a little. "When I brought you to Akara, she argued with me. She didn't want to waste her supplies on you. She was just going to let you die on her doorstep, because she doesn't like you. That's not normal. You can't just think that's okay."

It certainly wasn't extraordinary. That was why necromancers generally brewed their own potions, not that he'd had either the time or the forethought to reach for his own during the encounter. He started to shrug again. Akara had been pleasant enough since - oh. All the pieces came together suddenly, but the picture they formed didn't quite make sense. Blaise had lied to save him. She'd decided, probably on an impulse, out of desperation, to frame him as the hero because the healer wasn't going to touch him otherwise. She had wanted him to live, and had sacrificed her own part in the story to ensure his survival.

Of course, that type of instinctively selfless behaviour was part of the reason he'd decided she was a genuinely good person. But having that kindness extended to him - that was new. He didn't quite know what to make of it. People weren't kind to him, as a rule. That was familiar, at least, predictable. It didn't feel like he'd done anything to earn this special treatment. He'd have to tread carefully.

"It's what I'm used to," he said quietly. "Death comes to all things. We do not expect others to delay it for us. But you... are extraordinary." It didn't really feel adequate, but he would need some time to process this new information, and the moment would be long past by then. "Thank you," he added. That also felt shallow. He had no reference to draw from - what was the appropriate way to convey this tangle of feelings? Indebtedness, surprise, gratitude, admiration, and those were just the aspects he had names for. He purposely held her gaze for a moment, hoping she would be able to glean something from that since his words weren't doing the job.

Blaise opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. Instead, she stood and stretched. "I bet you haven't even eaten today. Come on, Charsi made these beautiful rabbit pies. You have to try them." She extended her hand toward him. He didn't especially want to join a communal meal, but it would be rude to refuse such a rare offer. And he had, in fact, neglected to eat. He took her hand to pull himself up. Tomorrow he would attempt to train with Kashya, but right now he wouldn't worry about it.

#my writing #story: unbidden #death mention tw #body horror tw

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being a younger Avenger and mentoring Kamala

Kamala Khan x reader

warnings: avengers game spoilers, guns

a/n: so excited about this one; i made y/n just a bit older (and gn!) so that they’re in their mid-early teens during a-day! hope thats okie doke! reader has electrokinesis. this accidentally got really detailed

prompt: anonymous: “Hey there! Would you mind writing HCs for the Avengers Game about female reader being a young Avenger (around 17) and mentoring Kamala Khan?”

you were just a kid yourself when you joined the avengers

and you were an inspiration to kids around the world

“does SHIELD think nothing of child labor laws?” -bruce

the avengers became your family

and seeing what you could do...they knew you could handle yourself

and then a-day happened

the day started off so perfect

and the kids went ballistic over seeing you

“y/h/n! look, it’s y/h/n!”

“can i get a picture?”

“hi, guys! of course you can!”

but there was one kid who stuck out among the rest

kamala khan

“you’re the one who wrote about the sewers, right? i freaking loved it! may i just say your art is amazing?”

“r-really?”

“oh, yeah! and the part where you had thor spin mjölnir to push water towards the sewer lizards so i could shock them? genius!”

she could not wait to tell abu about what you had just said

you obviously took a selfie with her and handed her a little pin with your own “icon” on it

but your world got turned upside down that day

the battle was one you’d never forget

and the fighting with your own teammates afterwards would haunt you for years to come

“what do you know, y/n?! you’re just a kid!” -tony

“oh yeah? im one of the only functioning members of this team!”

“everybody calm down. y/n makes a good point, but—” -nat

“thank you”

“...but there’s some stuff you should leave up to us. you really shouldn’t have to take on so much responsibility” -nat

“she’s right, y/n. this was our fault” -bruce

“are you kidding me?! i’m just as guilty as the rest of you, i’m an equal member of this team! for years we’ve dealt with this together, taken the blame together! what’s changed?”

“y/n...you saw what we did out there. that changed everything...” -bruce

you technically were an inhuman, just not terrigen-based

didnt matter to AIM, they took dr. pym for god’s sake

so you had to run, you were on your own for a while

a long while

you laid low for five years, most boring five years of your life

at least you still had your life, though. it just wasn’t what it used to be

but you got a message one day

“‘tiny dancer,’ huh? my moneys on either nat or tony. nah, tony would have chosen ‘rocket man.’”

you couldn’t be sure, maybe it was just a random shield agent...maybe hank pym? god, this was crazy

the message brought you to, uh, cap’s memorial statue

and there was a young girl arguing with a couple of boys...an inhuman!

you hopped in and saved her, she seemed scared

“hey, kid, you alright?”

“y/h/n? is it really you?”

she seemed vaguely familiar

“are you tiny dancer?”

“no, i thought you might be? they sent you here, too?”

there wasn’t much time to chat, AIM was onto you

you two unfortunately got split up for a minute, but you were practically raised by the notorious clint barton and natasha romanoff, and various other spies

yes, you planted a tracker on her

and met her at the bus stop!

“you found me?”

“that i did, kamala. see, i do remember you”

“that is so cool! i mean—not almost getting killed, or the guy with the big head...”

“what guy? you need to tell me everything”

the whole busride was a bit overwhelming. kamala explained the resistance clues, her powers, her undying admiration for the avengers, you name it

but it made you feel good to know that there were people out there that didn’t hate you

“so what was it like? being the teenage avenger?”

“uh, it was...it was really cool. i felt like i was one-of-a-kind. but sometimes people didn’t take me seriously, it was kind of aggravating”

“yeah, no one takes me seriously either...”

“you know, depending on how this all goes, i might be able to give you a few pointers”

“really?! that’d be great!”

once you got to utah...you saw the chimera

it brought back some bad memories, kamala could tell

“you okay?”

“me? yeah, im good. just thinking...okay, well, do you have a plan on how to get yourself across all of this?”

“actually, i do!”

it was kind of creepy in there, but when you laid your eyes on caps shield, you kind of broke

“do you hear something, what it that?”

“...hulk. kamala, you need to get out of here, i’ll catch up to you, i swear”

she didn’t leave in time, so she got to see the greener side of bruce. you chased him back and tried to get bruce back

meanwhile, kamala found AIM troops...oops

bruce cooled off and man was he doing rough

“y/n, is that really you?”

“yeah, its me. surprise. how long have you been the big guy?”

“too long...a few years”

“jesus, im sorry. i’ll be right back, though. some kid brought me here, i gotta go get her. you kinda scared her off”

she was passed out when you got to her

but bruce is a doctor, he’d figure it out

“i could give her a little shock to wake her up, you know?”

“oh, i know. just let her rest for a minute. she needs it”

“right...well im gonna take a look around, maybe go see what i left behind. i could power the place up, but we’re missing some parts to actually get this thing running. best i can do is lights and doors”

you turned the little things on and turns out did leave a decent amount of stuff in here

your first pair of pistols that nat gave you, the gigantic stein that thor gifted you for your 13th birthday, gadgets tony needed an “extra boost” for *bzzt*, a note from cap that just said “good luck, y/n, you’re going to do great!” you cant even remember what it was he was referring to. you just missed him

kamala walked in while you were shuffling around and cleaning the place up

“hey, dr. banner wanted me to come get you. is this your room?”

“that it is, and it’s a huge mess. this is literally all my belongings ever”

bruce had his plan and you just went along, helping kamala out as you go

“baby steps, kam, don’t want you to pass out. but don’t worry, happens to the best of us” -you

“really? you pass out too?” -kamala

“oh yeah, for sure. tell her bruce, remember that time we had thor overcharge me to literally make me an EMP? and tony was busy listening to music so he wouldn’t get out of the blast radius and his armor shut down? so he was out of commission and i had just collapsed from it all? good times”

“y/n, we thought you died” -bruce

this hc is so long omg — anyways you guys ended up finding tony and it was sort of entertaining but he kinda punched bruce and then hugged you

“you got so big”

“shut up, tony”

you kinda harbored some bad feelings since none of the avengers did anything to help you once they started rounding up inhumans (but you still missed them)

getting attacked again

“okay, kamala, remember what i said about baby steps. dont overdo it. i trust you with this!”

“thank you, y/n! uh—oh my god!”

aaaanyways you went to the ant hill to see hank and pick up some supplies, boy was it great to see some familiar faces, then back the the chimera you went to fix it all up

“can you hold that right there for me, kamala? thanks. i think that just about does it. now i have a surprise for you...your own room!”

you helped kamala get it nice and tidy while talking about each other’s lives, she really did remind you of yourself when you became an avenger. excited, scared, underestimated, all of that. and she begged you to share some mission stories, so you obviously did

“you know, if you stick around for a while, you’re gonna have some cool stories, too. maybe even a kickass costume.”

“oh! a costume, ive got that sorta covered. check it out. a burkini, muslim women wear it for swimming and stuff. my mom got it for me”

“love it. soon we’ll find you a fitting name and update the suit, but seriously, this was the perfect way to go. you look great”

“you think so? i don’t know if i feel that cool. maybe i should try something else?”

“if that’s how you feel, you don’t have to stick to it. you can experiment all you want! but i really think you did awesome on this. come on, pose with me! and hey, i like your pins.”

at this point, you’d do anything for kamala, she reminded you so much of yourself. you would have killed for a mentor your age back in the day.

natasha was in fact tiny dancer...called it

“oh, god, y/n. you’re all grown up...im sorry we left you alone. but if it makes you feel better, i always kept an eye on you”

“well, i kind of took on a protégé...she’s like your grand-protégé. kam, c’mere”

after thor finally came back, everyone started fighting again and ditched, it felt so familiar. but you couldn’t leave kamala behind, you swore to yourself that you couldn’t do that.

she was so good for this team

MODOK was defeated (by kamala herself) but there was so much left to do, tons of threats to extinguish, training to accomplish

“y/n, tony won’t turn his dad rock off! he overrode the speakers in my room”

“oh, it’s on. get chastity’s fabric dye and bleach pens. we’re gonna start some trouble”

she gave you a high five one time and nearly broke your arm

sending each other tiny hand memes

“hey, ms. m, how’re your parents? doing okay without their favorite super-daughter?”

“my abu doesn’t stop texting me actually, says my family is super proud of me. it’s a nice change of pace”

you take her on covert missions for field training, it was Educational(tm)

*elevator music playing* “so...what do you want for dinner? i was thinking we could ask thor to barbecue”

sleepovers in her room that just turn into her showing you her superhero merch, listening to music, prank lists, sneaking off to the HARM room for hand-to-hand combat training and power experiments, thinking up new costume designs

“tip: you always need backup suits, you never know what you’re gonna run into out there. one time tony pushed me into a tower of paint cans and they spilled all over me. steve yelled at him for two hours afterwards. worst mission ever, except steve said ‘motherfucker’ and i have never recovered from the emotions of that day”

“wow, i wish i could have been there for that”

“don’t worry, kami, you’ll see some crazy ‘team bonding’ along the way”

she geeks out about captain marvel sometimes

“hey, i’ve got a book carol gave to me about ‘teens taking responsibility.’ you wanna read it?”

“is it any good?”

“i don’t know, i only read the first two pages”

you ended up having a true heart-to-heart with her after one mission when she made a mistake that nearly cost you guys the mission. you told her that not every mission is going to go perfect, each avenger had slipped up in the field, and she had just started, shes not going to be perfect

“i am literally always here if you need anything. i know what it feels like to be a teenager among legends, but trust me, you’ve made it this far and you’ve proven how much of a badass you are. i know you can take anything that gets thrown at you”

kamala said she makes vegan nachos and yeah she makes vegan nachos

you guys have to hide from the rest of the team when she makes them bc they eat ALL OF THEM

gaff (the SHEILD vendor) has you test his gear, you recommend gear to kamala

you were so excited to guide kamala on her journey of heroism

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

#kamala khan #kamala khan x reader #kamala khan imagine #ms marvel #ms marvel x reader #ms marvel imagine #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers game #avengers game x reader #avengers game imagine

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5-falsehoods-phonated · 4 years

Text

Tell Me You Hate Me

Summary: Story contains some intense intrusive thoughts, please mind the tags. Remus always has episodes where his emotions seem to completely shut down, leaving nothing but thoughts pounding in his skull begging for a reaction. When he finally breaks down, Logan is there to hold him together.

Warnings: intrusive thought, implied self bruising, depictions of violence and death, hurt with comfort, mild swearing

Ships: Logan x Remus, Intrulogical

WC: 3, 602

General Taglist: (ask to be tagged generally or in specific writing.) @im-an-anxious-wreck

Remus huffed as he flopped over to his other side yet again, kicking his feet out from underneath them and burying his face into his pillow. Finding it still too hot he quickly picked his head up and flipped the pillow to the cooler side, flopping face first this time as he fought to quiet his groan. Squeezing his eyes shut tight did nothing unfortunately and neither did leaving indents in his palms from his fingernails. Flopping over onto his back he tried taking deep, calming breaths- something Virgil had said sometimes helped them sleep- but he gave up after a few minutes. Shadows from the corners of his room licked at the edge of the safety of his bed and a spike of anxiety in his chest forced his feet back under the covers. A stupid false sense of security that died along with the anxiety as quickly as it had made itself known. The dull buzz of his fan did nothing to drown the ringing in his ears and he wiggled a bit to get the sheets unstuck from his back as his newest position began to get uncomfortable.

He closed his eyes again and sighed deeply before throwing the blankets to the floor and hurrying to the light switch to flick it on. Eyes still shut he stumbled into the hallway running his hand along the wall for a sense of direction wanting nothing more but a spike of caffeine to jump start the day. He left the kitchen light off since he didn't actually know how early it was and didn't want to wake Logan, instead holding his hand out and shuffling forward until his toe stubbed the bottom of the cabinets. Swearing he placed his hands on the counter and felt around until he found the coffee pot, finally deciding to open his eyes to the dim room so he didn't end up smashing the pot and getting glass in his feet...again. Filling it with water and grounds was simple enough, the routine so ingrained he had to force himself to actually concentrate on the action instead of drifting off into his own head again.

Briefly he thought about wedging his head under the spout and letting the freshly brewed coffee flow down his throat but he decided he liked the new creamer they had gotten too much to attempt that this time. Idly picking at his fingertips while he waited he glanced out the window of the shared apartment and wondered how hard it would be to climb down the building from there. Realistically he could do it- just squat in the sink and back up as carefully as he could to find footholds and balance. The thought of neighbors seeing a random ass sticking out of a window, wiggling as he got into a better position brought a flicker of a grin to his face, but the thought of then someone calling the police to report a break-in and the subsequential argument hed most likely have with Logan over his reasoning it had seemed like a good idea made him dismiss the thought immediately. Things were already on the rockier side with his husband, he didn't need something else making him regret he had ever proposed to Remus.

Things weren't at all bad in their marriage, new as it was and with as small of a space they shared. Remus just went through moods- quiet ones where he was mostly lost in his head and didn't want to make things tense by finding his way out of it. Moods where everything was exhausting, even engaging in activities with someone he loved more than anything else in the world seemed dull and tiring. He'd never tell Logan that, never even think about hurting him that badly, but sometimes he got so tired it was all he could do to get out of bed. And now his emotions were broken again and that certainly didn't help anything.

It didn't happen often, but every once in a while for whatever reason his brain had thought of, he couldn't feel anything. Not even sadness. Smiles were hard, crying was harder, brief spikes of anxiety died before he could think about them and anger or irritation which he usually relied on in these states were so far away he couldn't even think of what to do to make them appear. His world was dull and heavy and numb, pressing in from all sides in a way that would have been overwhelming if he could care to put any name to it. Instead he grew quiet, filing away thoughts and feelings to deal with when he could actually grasp them. Logan noticed; of course he did he noticed everything. Usually all Remus really needed was space and a little time to get his bearings. He would stay in bed a lot, even if he didn't manage to sleep, and watch youtube videos at random for hours on end until Logan came in with water or food or a reminder to get up and stretch. Remus would get up stiffly and stretch for a moment, maybe go to the bathroom, eat, drink and then go right back to curl as tight as he could under the blankets to blankly stare at the screen. He'd hear a soft sigh and feel fingers run gently through his tangled hair before the door would shut once again and he'd be left alone to his nothing and cold and numb and thoughts.

The thoughts were the worst even if he didn’t attach anything to them. Constant and intrusive and violent as they were they didn't even make him afraid anymore. It often seemed, in whatever fucked up process his brain had made up, that if his emotions shut down the intrusive thoughts needed to step up to compensate. Usually nothing more than a suggestive buzz in the background he had long ago learned to simply brush off they became a battering ram against the inside of his skull that he had to actively reason his way through to stop the twitch in his muscles. Boiling water for tea became sticking his hands in his pocket so he didn't stick it in the pan to watch burn and stick to the bottom, flesh pulling like hot cheese until it snapped away from his muscles and left his blood to be boiled by the heat. The want to tip his chair back became his teeth frigging as a graphic image of his head cracked open like an egg and leaking through the carpet presented itself to him like a proud child with macaroni art. A constant barrage of images and impulses that left him exhausted rather than disturbed and made him simply want to sleep them all away, which of course was when the insomnia kicked in and left him making coffee at- his eyes snapped to the oven clock and he sighed tiredly- 4:30 on the morning.

Thanking whatever gods were real it was a Saturday morning he brought down a mug and filled it with coffee and an obscene amount of creamer, chugging it in seconds and ignoring the sickly sweet taste before getting a refill and shambling to the couch to turn on the news. The news always had something going on lately and he was hoping it would be enough to distract from the thoughts of smashing his head through the glass coffee table or making another pot of coffee to chug through. Granted the latter was the better option of the two should he make it a choice but he knew his limit with caffeine and wasn't keen on his heart thumping in his chest throughout the day when he had no energy to do anything with the fake adrenaline rush.

"Remus?" The man winced as he heard Logan's sleepy voice in the hallway and turned to see him walking to the couch, face pinched in concern. "Are you alright? It's nearly five in the morning."

Running his dry tongue over even drier lips Remus nodded. "I uh- I was gonna go on a run today. Get out of the house you know- and I thought an early start might be good."

Logan studied his face carefully, though thankfully not seeming to notice the deep bruises under his eyes in the shifting light of the tv. Remus offered a weak smile and gripped his mug tighter, firmly dismissing the thought to smash it over Logan's head while Logan stepped back and nodded tiredly.

"I'm going to sleep for a bit longer. Please be careful Remus, I love you."

"Love you too, Logan." Remus turned away before he could see any more puty in Logan's eyes, anger licking up from his stomach but he simply clutched his mug to dissipate it before it could take hold, not that it really could. He listened as the footsteps died and the others door was shut, bringing the mug up and chugging the rest of it. Groaning slightly he realized he'd actually have to go out now, he couldn't lie to Logan anymore than he already had. Screwing his mouth to one side he decided biking would be easier. More chances to simply coast and he could wear his headphones without risk of his phone bouncing out of his pocket. Figuring he may as well go now rather than wait, since if he did he was sure he'd simply go back to curl up in bed, he quickly tidied up the kitchen and went to throw some clothes and a helmet on. Tugging his bike out of the hall closet he found himself on the street without quite remembering how he'd gotten there but in the end he supposed it didn't matter. This early in the morning there was virtually no one on the sidewalks giving him ample space to go as fast as he wanted down the hill. Hed ride back up the hill on his way back so he'd get some actual exercise to make up for just coasting for about a quarter mile later.

The wind was on his face before he even registered he had started heartbeat picking up slightly as the buildings on his right began to whip past faster and faster. He contemplated breaking a bit to slow down but his thoughts suddenly demanding he do a hard break, making him flip over the handlebars and skid into the road made him dismiss it quickly. Hed slow down eventually and he was fine for now. The streets were quiet and dark, the air was cool but the wind was so cold it felt like needles against his face. He probably should have worn at least a jacket from the way his arms were going numb but dismissing it was so much easier than thinking about how tiring it would be to turn around, go all the way back to his building, back up the stairs and into his room to get a jacket and gloves- and by that time he'd just went to stay in bed anyway since that would be closer so there really wasn't any point. The fold felt nice, it as waking him up along with the coffee and his heart was thumping loudly in his ears drowning out any thoughts that might slip through and his hands were gripping the handle bars so tight his cold knuckles were a stark white-

Instinct swerved his bike and slammed the breaks before he even noticed the truck speeding down the road. The driver didn't even acknowledge him as his hands slipped off the handle bars and his vision grew spotty. The sudden panic felt distant, dull and unimportant even as his breathing sped up and a thought rose up that told him he could have died: images of his cold body splayed in front of a sideways truck slammed it's way through to the front of his mind, blood pooled around the driver’s feet as his panicked voice called for help. Distantly Logan's screams could be heard as footsteps ran to his unresponsive body and everything was simply white and static and cold. The sound of another car's horn snapped him back to himself suddenly, looking around in confusion as he saw how light it had gotten and the quiet streets now coming to life with people Getting off night shift or waking up for their morning shift or running to coffee shops. His sweat soaked hands were nearly frozen on the handlebars and when he tried moving his legs he felt like he was trying to tread through a thick vat of glue that threatened to pull him down and under the second he decided to stop fighting.

As much as he wanted nothing more than to collapse and hope something on his bike punctured a lung on the way down though he simply turned and started back up the hill towards home. He didn’t know how long he had been standing on the sidewalk but he judged it to have been an hour at least with how bright the sky was now. Hopefully Lgan hadn’t worried too much, the thought bringing a wave of guilt that nearly drove him to his knees with the fierceness with which it crashed onto him but just like with everything else it disappeared almost as quickly as it decided to present itself and Remus was left to simply stare blankly at the concrete before him as his stiff legs took him to Logan step by mind numbing step. He just had to make it to Logan. Logan would know what to do, what to say; Remus knew all he ever had to do was ask. Logan was getting better at asking whenever he needed help so the least Remus could do was show that same courtesy.

But then- what if he didn’t understand? What if he couldn’t? What if he thought Remus was just crazy or having a mental break or because he couldn’t feel things sometimes Logan thought that meant he didn’t love him anymore? What if he decided to leave? What if he left and Remus was alone with only his thoughts and the cold and-

“Remus?” He snapped his head up at Logan’s voice, a quick brush of panic curling around him as he saw that he was back in the apartment with again no recollection of walking the rest of the way up the block and up the stairs and through the door. Logan was looking at him, that same pitying concern wrinkling his face as he stood in front of Remus with a mug of black coffee held tightly in one hand while the other reached out to him gently. And Remus, with the overwhelming feeling of nothing, nothing, nothing and still frantically beating heart with wild eyes full of tears that hadn’t fallen in a week, couldn’t think of what to say to make anything better for either of them. So he did what he did best.

“Tell me you hate me.” The words blurted out with his characteristic impulsiveness as Logan’s eyes blew wide and he only briefly registered his own surprise before the world turned gray again. Of course, the most painful thing for him to hear is what he wanted. No amount of horror movie jump scares or gore, of late night metal blasting at full volume through his ears, pf slamming his fists repeatedly into his thighs until he could barely walk the next day would be as painful as having someone he had cared about more than anyone else for six years now telling him that they hated him. That they couldn’t stand him because he was useless and unfeeling and so, so stupid to even think someone like them could love someone like him. He needed to hear the words he knew Logan was probably itching for permission to say, and now that he had it he could go all out, and maybe then something could get through his constant swirl of thoughts.

“Please I can’t- I’m so numb Logan. I haven’t felt anything in a week I just need- this is your chance to lay it all out.” Logan considered him carefully before reaching ver and setting his coffee down on the counter and stepping towards him. Gently, so gently it almost hurt, Logan took both of his hands and tugged, walking backward and around until he could sit them both down on the couch. Squeezing his hands slightly he took them away only to place them gently on with side of Remus’ face and hold him as if he was made of fragile porcelain, thumbs caressing his cheekbones in a steady rhythm that had his heart finally calming down and body relaxing into the touch.

“I love you.”

Remus’ breath caught as he locked eyes with his husband, who was simply smiling gently as him with the same loving look he had been giving him for years. Pressure built behind his eyes suddenly and he widened them to keep it at bay, shaking his head in defiance.

“You are safe. Whatever you’re feeling or not feeling is perfectly alright. You are with your husband who cares for you very much in the apartment we’ve shared for four years. You haven’t been sleeping well which may be contributing to your mental distress but that’s okay too because we can work on fixing that. I could never tell you that I hate you. Love you more than anything, Remus.”

Remus wasn’t sure why that’s what finally broke him, but the flood of emotions that crashed over him barely gave him time to breath before he gasped out a sob and smashed his face into Logan’s chest. Steady arms wrapped around him in a tight, comforting embrace as his legs were brought over his lap, essentially making Logan cardle him like a child but Remus couldn’t bring himself to care as he gasped and shuddered out weeks worth of pent up emotions that he was just now able to feel and it was too much, too much, too much all at once. His hands came up too fist in Logan’s shirt and snot ran freely down his face and his throat began to ache form the noises desperately escaping his throat. This was too much at once, he couldn’t handle this much at once.

But all the way through it Logan rocked them back and forth, hugging him tightly and whispering how much he was loved and cared for and how much better his life was with Remus in it even if he did leave the cabinet doors open and hog the blankets when they shared a bed. Careful fingers carded through his hair as he was told that it was okay to cry, it was okay to not feel anything or to feel everything and Logan would be there regardless. Logan would be there for him through everything Remus needed as long as Remus needed him for. The rocking and whispering didn’t stop until Remus pulled away, a little ashamed and embarrassed with snot covering his face and hiccups preventing him from saying anything but it was okay because Logan only smiled as him and laid a hand on his cheek before getting up and telling him He’d be right back.

It was only a few seconds before he was back with a cool washcloth pressed to his face, carefully wiping his sore, red eyes and rubbing gently as his cheeks and nose. It ws cool and refreshing and instantly Remus felt better than he had in weeks. His wild curls were brushed out of his face and a kiss was pressed to his forehead before Logan made to leave again, making Remus let out a pathetic whine in protest.

“I’m only going to the kitchen to get you water, Remus. Did you want to come with me?”

As ridiculous as it was, he did. So he slipped his hand into Logan’s and followed him out to the small kitchen, watching as he awkwardly poured a glass of water from the fridge one handed and passed it to Remus who downed it in five seconds and handed it back sheepishly. Receiving only an encouraging smile in return the glass was filled once again before he was tugged back into the living room and sat down on the couch. Logan turned to him and squeezed his hand gently. Always so gently and lovingly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Remus knew they would have to eventually but he was so tired. Not the kind of tired he had been where everything was exhausting and irritating and just on the side of too much, but the kind of bone tired you can only be after having an emotional breakdown in your husband's arms at eight o’clock in the morning after only getting two hours of sleep the night before. So he shook his head, hoping against all odds Logan could read minds and understand.

To Logan’s credit he picked up that it was something best addressed at a later time, simply nodding again and reaching for the remote. “How about a movie instead then? As a distraction?”

Smiling a tired but genuine smile, Remus nodded and curled up into Logan’s side, eyes slipping shut before he could even see what Logan had picked. But that was fine. The volume was low and Logan’s arm came to wrap around Remus’ shoulder as he drifted off peacefully. He was safe and loved and right now, that was all that mattered.

I promise I write happy things sometimes XD As always, this work is available with other on AO3!

If you like this, please consider reblogging. Sharing works helps creators.

#false writes #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #remus sanders #logan sanders #tw ts intrusive thoughts #implied self bruising #tw self harm #tw violence #tw gore #very self indulgent #intrulogical

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freebooter4ever · 3 years

Text

ive been considering my options, and started looking into moving - not all the way back to washington (where admittedly a little shack house at the base of mt rainier somewhere is sounding better and better)(but if i left california now i dont think i'd ever return and even if imag*n**ring is no longer in glendale im still clinging to the notion that being here still means something) - but somewhere in the more 'rural' areas of socal (if desert can be considered rural?)

My friend here who owns the house on the brush covered hill in the city also has a cabin up in big bear so im imagining something like that. Somewhere to hole up in for a year or so to just escape everything for a while. I can work remotely, as long as i have internet, and rent is certainly cheaper outside the city. And right now just disappearing for a while seems like a relief when i feel like i keep hitting walls and rejection from all corners even people i thought were friends. And the one friend - parent like - figure i have here, i am clinging harder and harder to and i am terrified of the day i push them over the edge and they stop talking to me too. Hence hiding until i feel confident people are no longer sick of me.

But then i think about how i very nearly went crazy house sitting in the artist's house alone on the canyon ridge for two months straight (and called nick way too many times to stomach it)...and i dont know if i could do it. Live alone in the middle of nowhere. Nick did it - moved to the canadian wilderness after a traumatic period in his life. Maybe a part of me wants to try just to prove that i can. Cause for all our similarities that was our fatal flaw - his introversion and my constant tendency to cling to people. He could - and did - pack up and leave at a moments notice, move to a new city, and start over again fresh. I kinda can too, its why i dont own any furniture and anything i want to keep i make sure it can fit in my little car. But instead of cutting ties i hold onto people until i suffocate them.

But thats why i worry i wouldn't be able to actually handle living hours away from anyone i know - no matter how appealing it might sound as a solution to the emotions dogpiling onto my back these past two years. If there was one theme between nick and i the entire time we were together it was always me going out - dancing, music, art events, parties - and asking him to go with me and him always saying no - he'd rather stay in rather be alone. And its not that i minded going out alone - i was used to it and there was always naeem hanging around events and the burgh was small enough i was bound to see someone anyone i recognized. It was the realization that what attracted me to a certain type of personality was almost incompatible with my own. Nick had all the charm and charisma and magneticism i so admired and which i never had any of...yet i was the one who liked people, i liked being around people. And he really didn't. And i guess i never really understood having this type of urge to cut off all ties, disappear, leave without a goodbye and without looking back till now. There's a lot of shame involved in my case.

So I'm looking through ads for weird secluded woodsy cabins and wondering if i would be able to survive a year disconnected except by internet, or if maybe i doubt that i could and that maybe i should be able to - learn to. at least once. to understand better? and maybe i should try now while it seems possible.

anyway im also pretty sure the pandemic has regressed me back to like...middle school levels of social anxiety because im terrified of everyone including any of you guys on here reading this - if i stop messaging you there is a good chance ive convinced myself that you hate me, im sorry in advance. I asked my coworker to lunch the other day and he said no and i havent been brave enough to ask again cause now im certain he's finally realized what a non-artist loser i am and its more productive to work through lunch anyway right? \o/

#Journal shit #Then theres also the possibility that i just need to take a really long car ride this weekend lol #And shut the fuck up #Fun fact in high school i would go to parties and then my dad would pick me up after #And he would force me to drive home bc i was supposed to be learning how to drive #And halfway through the ddrive i would burst into tears and dad would have to have us pull over and switch places #And id be crying the entire rest of the way home #It baffled my introverted dad who didnt understand why i went to these things #If i was just going to be upset by them #He never understood that i loved the parties i loved the people so much #Even though none of them would probably have considered me a friend #But it was always painful because i wanted to be oworthy enough that the people would like me too #What im saying is ive been battling this shit since i was young #The pandemic just resurfaced what i thought i had at least somewhat buried

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theimprobabledreamersworld · 3 years

Text

For the love of vocab cards.

Soo... another story written for @analogicalweek :D This is for day 5, prompt: Vocab cards. This again is a bit longer than my previous ones, but hopefully it’s worth it!

This is another College AU, Logan helps Virgil revise for an exam and leaves him a surpise to get through it on the day :) Hope you like it!

Taglist: @psychedelicships @edupunkn00b @jwillowwolf @look-ma-im-on-tv @kacklingisanart :) If anyone would like to be added, let me know! :D

For the love of vocab cards.

Word count: 1765

No warnings that I’m aware of :)

Virgil sat in an abandoned corner of the college library, just reading a textbook and finishing his third book of notes. He was desperately trying to revise for this exam tomorrow, but after four hours; his brain had reached its capacity of trying to retain information. It didn’t help that it was for a science exam and he hated that subject with a passion. There were too many long words with complicated meanings that he could never remember. He also just about understood equations when it came to math, but he had no idea how to apply them to science. Virgil belonged within the Performing Arts side of college, he loved music technology in particular and he loved creating all kinds of new music with the different pieces of equipment littered throughout the department. However, if he wanted to get onto next year’s course in Music Tech, he still had to pass the core subjects of math, english and science. Despite his unbridled hatred for the subject, he couldn’t help but smile whenever he remembered that he met Logan, his boyfriend of nearly two years, in the science labs.

It was the first day of class. They were assigned seats next to each other, and despite Virgil’s anxiety telling him otherwise, they seemed to get on extremely well. Logan was wearing a button up shirt, tailored trousers and large framed glasses, and Virgil had to admit that the ensemble looked amazing on him. Whereas Virgil was in his classic purple shirt, purple patchwork jacket and ripped jeans. They could not have looked like total opposites if they tried. Eventually the teacher started the class and was monotonously trying to explain the more complex concepts of the Periodic Table. Logan must have noticed just how confused Virgil was because he began to write something down on some blank vocabulary cards, all while Virgil stared at the whiteboard helplessly. After a while, Logan tapped Virgil lightly on the shoulder and he jumped. When he looked down at Logan’s hands, he was surprised at what he saw. It was a set of about ten vocabulary cards, and as Virgil took them and looked through them all, he could see that Logan had written out everything the teacher was explaining. However, Logan’s explanation was actually comprehensible, and Virgil genuinely started to understand the work they had been given. He looked at Logan who had a small but sincere smile on his face, and Virgil almost lost his words as he stared into Logan’s eyes. He managed to shyly utter a thank you to Logan while blushing an extremely bright shade of pink. Logan smiled back before turning his attention to the work before the teacher could inevitably come over and have a go at them. That’s where everything started.

Virgil was snapped out of this trip down memory lane by two hands covering his eyes. The familiar scent of aftershave and coffee reassured him about who was standing behind him. Their identity was confirmed with the light kiss on Virgil’s neck and a soft voice saying “Guess who? My Storm Cloud.” Virgil smiled and removed the hands gently from over his eyes.

“I couldn’t hazard a guess, Pocket Protector.” He turned and stood up to give Logan a much-needed hug for them both. He forgot that he said they’d meet after Logan had finished his extra revision session for the same exam. That was the only reassuring thing… they wouldn’t be able to talk or anything, but at least they’d be in the same room tomorrow.

Logan chuckled as he hid his face in Virgil’s neck. “How’s the revision going? Have you taken a break at all?”

“Horribly… I’ve been here for four hours and I still don’t understand a single word that I’m writing down. My brain is not absorbing any of this.” He sighed and was on the verge of crying. “What’s the point of me trying, Lo? I just need to accept that I won’t pass tomorrow.” He couldn’t stop a tear running down his cheek as he thought about how important tomorrow was. Logan closed the space between them, and softly wiped the tear off Virgil’s face. He lifted his chin up, making sure Virgil was looking into his eyes.

“Now you listen to me, Starlight. You are much smarter than you think, and you are stronger than you know. The main reason you’re struggling to remember things right now is because you’re stressed. You’ve cooped yourself into a small corner of this extremely large space and haven’t taken a break for a significant period of time. Let’s sit here and watch something while you drink this coffee I got you. I’ve finished my revision for this exam, so I’ll help you sort out some vocabulary cards for you to take in tomorrow before we go home. Sound good?” Logan looked at the smile starting to form on Virgil’s face and knew that he was okay. Virgil nodded as they sat down, and he snuggled up against a nearby wall with his coffee and took a sip while waiting for Logan.

“Ahh, you know my coffee order?” Virgil asked in a flirty voice as Logan set up his laptop and put on an episode of Parks and Rec. “Of course I do.” In a voice that made it sound like the most obvious thing in the world.

As they watched the episode, Logan ran his fingers through Virgil’s hair and kissed his forehead at random intervals because he loved how Virgil smiled every single time. When the coffee was finished, Logan got up and pulled over a chair to the table so they could finish the last bit of Virgil’s revision. They worked for an hour and Virgil felt more confident when he could answer the questions Logan asked him, that made him feel so much better.

“Alright, do you want to go now? I think we’ve covered everything. No more revising for you today, you’ve done more than enough!” Logan started to pack up Virgil’s things and Virgil looked relieved to be leaving.

“Yes please! I don’t think I could do anymore if I tried anyway. I really owe you for this, love. Let me go put these extra books away, I’ll be back in a minute.” He smiled and quickly kissed Logan before taking the books back to the shelves.

“Tell you what, write a song for me on your crazy music gadgets and we’ll call it even, okay?” Logan called out after Virgil as he walked away.

“You have a deal!” Virgil called back. He smiled and waited until Virgil was completely out of sight before grabbing some blank vocabulary cards and wrote on them furiously. He attached them to Virgil’s exam ones and put them into his bag just before he came back around the corner. Virgil stared at his boyfriend with a playful glare, knowing something suspicious had just happened, but then laughed before leaving the library hand in hand with his boyfriend going to Logan’s car.

They pulled up outside Virgil’s house, he grabbed his bag and Logan walked with him to the door. “Alright, so keep everything in your bag so it’s all in there for tomorrow. Get some food and watch something funny okay? I’ll pick you up in the morning.” He kissed Virgil gently, “I love you.” He turned to walk to the car, but Virgil pulled him back to kiss him again.

“I love you too! Thank you for today. I promise the song I’ll write for you will be the best one yet.” They both smiled and Logan reluctantly pulled away to head home. He still had some revision to do after all.

Morning came all too quickly. Virgil was feeling incredibly nervous as predicted, but he managed to have some breakfast and waited at the front door for Logan to arrive. He saw the car pull up and Logan beeped the horn twice as he normally did. He got out of the car and waited for Virgil to run up for their morning hug. He spun him around a couple of times which made Virgil laugh and kissed him.

“Are you ready to go? Everything is going to be okay. I promise.” Logan said with the most reassuring smile that made Virgil feel safe and secure.

“Yup. Might as well get this over and done with!” He smiled and got into the car. They turned the music up and sang along at the top of their lungs. Virgil would never admit that singing along to cheesy pop songs was his ultimate way to calm down.

They got to college and signed in before sorting their things and heading towards the exam room. Logan gave him a quick hug and they walked into the room together before finding their seats. They both looked amused when they realized that they were sitting next to each other, one row apart. Virgil took the opportunity to look the vocabulary cards over before they were allowed to start. He looked puzzled when he came across some that definitely weren’t there yesterday. His heart swelled when he read them one after the other.

‘You are amazing.’ ‘You are the smartest, most talented person I’ve ever met.’ ‘You can do absolutely anything the world throws at you. I know you can.’ ‘I’m so proud of you.’ ‘I love you to the ends of the unknown universe and back.’

Virgil couldn’t hide his smile as he held the cards as close to his heart as possible. He turned to Logan who had clearly been watching him the entire time. He mouthed thank you at Logan, who winked in response. Just like that, they announced the start of the exam and Virgil immediately felt like he could do this. They both sneaked loving glances at each other throughout, a silent and unnoticeable gesture of encouragement. Then it was all over, and the relief was almost overwhelming.

When the results came through a few weeks later… Virgil was ecstatic to know that he passed, and unsurprised that Logan got full marks. He knew that without those vocabulary cards Logan made, he would never have believed in himself enough to do everything he could to pass the crucial test. Despite being complete opposites when they met, Virgil knew that now they were two halves of the same coin, they completed each other perfectly. There was only one thing left to do now…

He had one hell of a song to write for the one and only love of his life.

#analogical week #thomas sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #analogical #fluff #ts fandom #ts fanfic #ts logan #ts virgil #college au #i'm pretty happy with it #:):):)

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xxwritemeastoryxx · 4 years

Text

Painted Souls 10

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x Reader, Klaus Mikaelson x Caroline Forbes, Elena Gilbert x Damon Salvatore.

Word Count: 3.9K

Warnings: Very small moments of stalking and threats (Better safe than sorry on this one!), fluff, a very cheesy ending.

Author’s Note: IM NOT CRYING....okay maybe I am. Welcome to the end of this series lovelies. I want to thank everyone who stayed with me on this one even though it took me sooo long to get this out to you guys. Some day in the future, I’d like to come back to this one. I hope you guys enjoy! There is another Note at the bottom of this for you guys.

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. ♥

Y/N stood in the showroom of the gallery. A grin had been plastered on her face as she took in the final touches for tonight. Every detail of it had her in awe, especially when she reached the last section of it. Her eyes danced over the canvas as she took in the details of it up on the wall.

She couldn’t wait for Elijah to see the very piece she was looking at. For as many times as she continued to work on it at the cabin, she never once let Elijah see what was hidden under the sheet. And whenever she worked on it, she made sure the door to the room was locked behind her to ensure he couldn’t sneak in.

This was the first painting that ever included him. She wanted it to be perfect in her eyes. Especially with how new their relationship was. While she would never regret the decision to paint it, it was the rawest thing she had ever painted. And now as it sat under the lights in the gallery, it was perfect.

“We should get going now.” Elena said as she walked over to Y/N. “We’ve got a long list of things to do before we start getting ready.”

Y/N took her eyes off the painting and looked over at Elena. “Might have to drag me out of here.” She joked.

“I could always have Elijah come in.” Elena said with a shrug.

Y/N shook her head quickly. “Not until tonight.”

“Stop threatening the poor girl.” Damon said as he found the two of them.

“If she doesn’t get out of here soon, she’s going to be late to her own opening.” Elena said as she wrapped her arm around Damon as he came to stand beside her.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Fine lets leave. Plus, Elijah’s probably done picking up our orders.”

“Cruel of you, by the way.” Damon said with nod of his head. “Have your soulmate run errands while you have us getting things done in here.”

“Some things are meant to be a surprise, Damon.” Y/N said as she began walking towards the exit.

Just outside the door, Elijah had been waiting for them. While he understood some things needed to be done inside, he was still curious about the painting Y/N was keeping from him. He barely caught glances of it from time to time. But he never saw the whole piece before Y/N covered it up or sent him out of the room.

He was looking forward to tonight. Not just because he’d finally get to see the piece she was hiding, but because he’d never seen Y/N so excited. After the week she had, Y/N was on edge quite a bit. To see her relax and focus on the showing had eased his worry.

Their time at the cabin away from the world had been everything they both needed. While Elijah may have wanted this as a means to keep Y/N safe and protected, it turned into several days of them really getting to know each other. They began uncovering the details of their lives that made their feelings for each other grow stronger.

While Elijah wasn’t ready to admit it, he wasn’t looking forward to Y/N returning to her dorm room. He had grown used to them being in the same house, to him waking up to her while she still slept peacefully beside him.

The first few nights hadn’t been that way. He offered Y/N one of the other rooms in the Cabin for her to take. But a few nights in, after a date night that Elijah planned, they found themselves tangled up in each other in Elijah’s bed.

As the door to the Gallery opened, his attention turned to it. He watched as Y/N walked out of there with a shake of her head, causing Elijah to chuckle. “I was beginning to wonder if you three got lost in there.”

Elena scoffed. “More like she didn’t want to leave after we got things done. I had threatened letting you inside in order to get her to start leaving.”

“Can you blame me though?” Y/N said with a slight pout on her face. “I love this place.” The others chuckled at her statement.

“Save the puppy eyes for Blondie.” Damon said as he tilted his head in the direction of the restaurant down the street. “We’re running late on meeting her for lunch.”

“Oh please,” Elena began. “She’s got Klaus there, it’s not like she’s sitting there like a loner.”

With that, they began making their way down the street. As they did, a gut feeling formed in Y/N. She quickly looked back towards the way they had come from, but aside from the crowd of people walking by there was nothing there that caused her to worry. Suppressing the feeling, Y/N turned her attention back to the others pulling herself into the conversation as they walked.

“Just hear me out,” Caroline said as they sat at their table out on the patio. “Spa day for all of us.”

“We don’t have time for that.” Y/N said with a shake of her head.

They all had just finished eating and were just talking with each other. This was the first time all six of them had been out together since Damon came into town. It was nice for them all to enjoy the day together before getting ready for Y/N’s showing.

“It doesn’t have to be today.” Caroline rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying that we all need one. We can make it a couple’s retreat.”

“How about after graduation?” Y/N suggested.

“Not all of us graduating.” Klaus reminded her.

“No, but the girls of this group are.” Elena said with a smile as she looked at her friends. “A vacation right after stressing about finals, sounds like heaven to me.”

“We could make it a weekend getaway.” Damon suggested.

“Why not a week?” Klaus added in. “If they are graduating from college, this would be the perfect excuse to leave the state.”

“And go where?” Y/N asked with a raised brow.

There was a knowing look shared between Klaus and Elijah. Klaus smirked as he looked at the others. “Why not a week in New Orleans?”

“Booze, Music and Art,” Y/N said as she looked at Elijah before looking at the others, that’s one hell of week.

The others chuckled as Klaus and Elijah began explaining details on what they could do. Since they had a family home in New Orleans, there wouldn’t be a need for a hotel. The conversation continued in a way that had eveyone involved, except for Y/N.

Y/N had stopped engaging when that gut feeling came back. Her eyes wandered around looking for the cause of it. But no matter which way she looked, she could find the cause. At least that was until her eyes landed across the street.

A person stood underneath the awning of a shop. While normally that wouldn’t have bothered her, it was how this person wore a hood during a hot day out. The shadow of the hood had been enough to cover their eyes. The hair on the back of Y/N’s neck stood up the moment she watched a smirk grow on the person’s face. The last straw had been how the person raised a finger up to their lips, as if telling her to stay quiet.

Y/N’s hand automatically reached for Elijah’s arm as she kept her eyes on the woman. Her heart had been beating quickly as she did. Elijah looked over at her and noticed that Y/N looked scared.

“What is it?” He asked as he looked in the direction Y/N had been looking at. The whole time Y/N watched as this person waved to her before walking away. Elijah hadn’t missed it either. “Do you know them?”

Y/N shook her head, unable to get any words out. Noticing how scared Y/N was, Elijah took that as a sign it was time to leave. He looked over to the others speaking to them. But none of the words registered in Y/N’s mind.

The others around her spoke of heading to the cabin, at least until they needed to come back into town for Y/N’s showing a few hours from now. Klaus already had his phone out calling his oldest brother and informing him of the events that just happened. The whole time, Elijah crouched in front of Y/N trying to calm her down.

“Hey,” He said softly as he ran his fingers along her arm. “We’re going to get you somewhere safe.”

“Okay,” Y/N said as with a nod of her head, trying to get her racing heart to calm.

“We’ll make sure there is added security tonight.” Elijah said hoping to keep her attention him. “You’ll be safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.” It was his words that calmed her. His touch that grounded her and kept her from losing herself in a panic attack. She was sure without Elijah there by her side, this would have ended differently than it was going.

_____

“Are you sure you still want to go?” Elijah asked as he leaned against the door frame of the bathroom. He was watching as Y/N applied her make up lightly.

After the group got back to the cabin, it took some time for Y/N to really feel safe. But once she had, she was back to her normal self. The fear had subsided and excitement grew in her as it was time to get ready. She tried to keep the thoughts at bay for now.

Through the Mirror, Y/N looked at Elijah. She nodded her head before moving to add eye shadow to her lids. “We are taking precautions to ensure it is safe. Plus, I’d hate to miss my own opening.”

Elijah nodded his head as he continued to watch her. Even as she put on her make up, he could see the artist in her. Each movement had been planned and while Elijah knew nothing of makeup, watching her apply it had been an art itself.

“It’s strange that our skin doesn’t share this.” He noted as he continued to watch her.

A smile pulled at her lips before she stopped and picked up a bottle. Turning to him she tossed it to him before going back to working on her eyes. “It’s a cream that’s supposed to help prevent it from doing so. Otherwise, you’d have almost a full face of make up.”

He chuckled as he placed the bottle down on the counter top. “While it looks good on you, I’m not sure how that would look on me.”

A grin pulled at her lips as she laughed. Turning to him she held the brush up. “You never know until you try.”

“Absolutely not.” He said shaking his head with a grin on his face as well.

“You two sound like you guys are having too much fun in here.” Caroline’s voice carried into the room. “It’s almost time to go. I just wanted to check in.”

“Almost done.” Y/N said as she grabbed a hold of a lips gloss and began applying it.

“We’ll be down in a minute.” Elijah told Caroline as he looked over his shoulder at her. There was a silent question being asked that Elijah hadn’t missed from Caroline. He nodded his head and Caroline gave a small smile in return. Y/N was going better than she had earlier. They all wanted to keep it that way.

_____

Y/N stood in front of the covered painting and a grin pulled at her lips. There was a crowed forming in front of the covered painting. The announcement of the reveal had been moments ago. While there were several other paintings on display for others to enjoy, this had been the one Joyce wanted to be revealed at the showing.

“Ladies and gentlemen.” Joyce said as she stepped in front of the painting. “On behalf of Y/N, I’d like to say welcome and thank you for coming tonight. Y/N is a very talented artist, as you can tell, that came to us when she was younger with dreams of having her work hanging on the walls as they are now. This one however,” Joyce motioned to the one behind her. “Is by far my favorite. Y/N only completed it a few days go and it has left a long lasting impression on myself. And as the caretaker of this lovely gallery, I hope it leaves an impression on you just as well.” Joyce looked over to Y/N and nodded.

Coming up to stand by Joyce, Y/N smiled. “As Joyce said, thank you for being here.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m a bit nervous because most of my work has been landscapes, beautiful moments in time captured by paint. But this one came without a model sitting in front of me. Most came from memory and it has given me the most incredible feeling while painting it. I give you Painted Souls.” As her words left her lips, they removed the covering from the canvas.

There were gasps of awe and murmurs of admiration as it had been revealed. As it had been, Y/N kept her eyes on Elijah the whole time. His eyes widened as he took in every detail on the canvas before him. She wanted to know his reaction as he took it in.

It had been like looking in a mirror image of himself. The details of his face done in a profile view had been displayed on the canvas. His painted self had been done in black in white. The same as Y/N had done with herself on the canvas. While they had been in black and white, it was the details of colorful paint that had painted in places.

A yellow stripe of paint smeared on their foreheads. Splatters of paint covered their necks and faces. Everything mirrored on each other just as it would have been if Y/N had painted on herself. Y/N had even captured the growing love they had for each other in their eyes, which was the only other thing that had been painted in color.

Elijah finally took his eyes off of the painting and bringing his attention to Y/N. A look of awe on his face as he walked over to her. A smile pulled at Y/N’s lips as she watched him make his way over to her.

Once he had, his eyes shifted to the painting behind her before looking back at her. He opened his mouth but closed it shortly after, unsure of how to express what he was feeling in that moment. Y/N chuckled at the reaction.

“Speechless?” She asked and Elijah quickly nodded.

Instead of trying to find the right words to say to her, he pulled her close to him and brought his lips down to hers. While he normally wasn’t one for public displays of affection, his soulmate deserved it. Y/N smiled against his lips before kissing him back. The surprise of it had definitely been well worth it.

_____

Y/N had been off to the side speaking with a few other visitors of the Gallery. Elijah could see the smile on her face from across the room as she spoke about one of her pieces. Half of the time they had talked to her about the unveiling causing her to instinctively look for Elijah in the process while she spoke about it.

Elijah never left her line of sight. While Finn had been able to pull extra security, he was still on high alert after what happened this afternoon. So far nothing out of the ordinary happened, he hoped it would stay that way.

“I say tonight was a success.” Klaus said as he came to stand beside him.

Elijah nodded his head. “Indeed it was. She’s going to be talking about this for weeks.”

A smile pulled at Klaus’ lips. “She’s one hell of an artist, I’ll give her that. I’ve been very tempted to buy a few pieces.”

Elijah’s eyebrow rose. “What is stopping you?”

Klaus shrugged. “Someone has beat me to it.”

That had Elijah’s attention as he turned to his brother. “How many of them have been bought?”

“From what Joyce has said, a majority of her showroom has been purchased. Of course, they won’t leave the gallery until her showing is over.” Klaus explained as his wandered over to Caroline as she began making a b-line for Elena and Damon.

“Does Y/N know?” Elijah asked as his eyes landed back on her.

“She won’t know until tonight.” Klaus nodded. “Joyce wants to give her an exact amount before we leave.”

“That will come as a shock to her.” A smile pulled at Elijah’s lips as he brought the drink he had up to his lips.

“All the more reason for her to celebrate.” He said with a nod. “And more reason for her to talk about this for weeks.”

“That is one emotion filled painting.” A stranger’s voice carried over to Y/N, causing her to turn around to see a man looking up at the painting. “You can see the way you both care for each other.” He said as he began pointing to it. “It’s like you took a moment and replicated it in paint.”

“That was the goal.” Y/N said with a smile as she took a step closer to him and to the painting. “My soulmate and I have just connected recently. It’s been one hell of a journey already, and we’re just getting to know each other.”

“How much would you be selling this piece for?” He asked as he looked over at her.

“It’s not for sale.” Y/N said with a nod. “I’d feel weird if this was hung up in someone’s house but mine.”

“That’s a shame.” He said as he shook his head. “It would have been nice to have up in my studio. It would complete my aesthetic.”

“A soulmate aesthetic?” She asked. But there was something that made her take a step back. That gut feeling was returning the longer she spoke with him. From Elijah’s spot he could see how Y/N had tensed up. Without a second thought, he began making his way over there.

The man nodded. “I was attempting to acquire a piece similar. Unfortunately it slipped through my hands a few nights ago, when a friend of hers stepped in.”

Panic filled Y/N, and she tried her best to stay as calm as she could. But her lips trembled slightly as she took another step back. Her first instinct was to run, but if she ran, he could come after her or even make a run for it. She needed to know that he would be caught if she walked away.

That was when Elijah and officer came up behind him. Before Elijah could begin walking over to her, he had gotten confirmation on the person from earlier being in the building. Without hesitating anymore, they made their way over.

“Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be able to make that a reality.” Elijah said causing the man to look over at him as the officer and a nearby security guard moved to arrest him.

As crazy as it looked to Y/N, the man never took his eyes off Y/N as he was escorted out. Y/N couldn’t get herself to move once more as she watched him leave. It wasn’t until Elijah was directly in front of her, pulling her attention to him, that she relaxed by throwing her arms around him.

He was safe. He was comfort. Something that Y/N needed more than anything in that moment. Elijah held onto her until she needed him to let go. His only thoughts were that she would continuously be safe and the threat she faced earlier was taken care of.

_____

In the middle of the night, Y/N woke up and wasn’t able to go back to sleep. Quietly pulling herself out of Elijah’s bed, and made her way out of the room and down the hall. Much like she had while she was in the dorm and couldn’t sleep, she’d make her way to her painting area. In this case, she headed toward the painting room.

Switching on the light, a long comforting sigh passed her lips as she entered the room. Walking over to the canvas, she plopped herself on the stool and stared at the empty space in front of her. While her mind was restless and couldn’t sleep, it seemed that she didn’t have an actual idea as to what she’d like to paint.

Picking up a brush and the grey paint container, she poured some paint onto her pallet before dipping the brush into it. Lifting the brush up to the canvas, she began letting the brush flow against it. While there was no rhyme or reason to it, she hoped that by the end, she’d have something to work with.

An hour later, her fingers had been covered in paint. The brush never satisfying the way she needed the colors to blend. Paint splatters covered her face and the apron she put on. a frustrated sigh passed her lips as she placed her chin in the palm of her hand, causing her fingers to leave prints of paint on her cheek as she tried to decided what to do with the mess in front of her.

“Can’t sleep?” Elijah asked, causing her to turn in her seat.

A small chuckle passed her lips as she took in his appearance. “I am so sorry for the paint.” She said as she shook her head.

It wasn’t the first time she had seen splatters here and there on him. But the way she was working tonight, it was a mess in comparison. It was everywhere on him. The grey, the shades of blue she used moments ago that made up the finger prints on his cheek. It made a grin pull at her lips.

“It’s no harm to me.” He said as he walked over to her. “Though it seems your mind is restless. Anything I can do to help?”

“Well my muse happened to be asleep when I woke. Was kind of hard to come up with anything else.” She noted as she looked back at the canvas. “Any ideas?”

A hint of smirk pulled at his lips. “I have one, but it doesn’t require any paint. It does however require you to come back to bed.”

“But I have a mess here that needs to be cleaned up.” She complained as she watched him stand in front of her.

“We’ll deal with it in the morning.” He said with a shrug as he lifted her up onto his shoulder as shriek passed her lips as he walked out of the room.

While the world had it’s moments that left both of them on edge throughout the years, there was one thing that was proven between them. It doesn’t matter how often you may come across your soulmate throughout your life. You’ll only let them in when you need them the most.

If it hadn’t been for Marcel introducing Y/N to Klaus, or even Freya pushing Elijah to send Y/n a message, there would have been another time or another place. But it was at the current timeline that the universe knew they needed each other. Because without one, the other would have been lost.

Author’s Note: I had the hardest time coming up with the painting. Creating an image from nothing is just as hard as creating a picture in your mind with words. But I did the best I could. However if you would like something visual to look at as a base to my detailed thoughts, her is an image that I found after the fact.

Always & Forever Tag: @taylordrunkonwhiskey @thewolf-and-thesheep @wayward-dan @neeadinghugs @fafulous @kenmen02 @elizamonet @dora-the-grownup @mschellehitt @xanderling @fandom-princess-forevermore @buckysarm4 @hi-my-name-is-riley @helenasingers @alka16555 @hellotvshowtrash

Painted Souls Tag: @inmylifeilovedthemall @graciejunie @this-is-mycrisis @une-lueur-dans-la-nuit @violentmommabear42 @ignorantly-apathatic @carostar2020 @shanty-lol @generallyclumsy @gwenawesomeness @x-memi12 @misunderstood-shadows @krazykatkay456 @emilymarie105 @insertcooluser55 @firedancernix @tuliptx @kpoplover1306-depressedgirl315 @giraffelover2309 @fading-mentality-boquet @sincerelykay12 @dpaccione @castofstrangerthings @twigstar18 @colors-for-theworld-please @foreverlostindreams @petraballins @sorrowfulfragmentation @tattoedraven1022 @heartjoohoney @bitchingkeres @jemimah-b99 @athenamikaelson @high-on-shai @we-dance-through-an-avalanche @lilipads @sagittarianwolf

Stag Tag: @elejah-wonderland @xxsovereignsarayaxx @asiaaisa77 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @marvel-at-stucky

The Originals Tag: @zillahvathek @obsessedwithvampires @alien-sida

Bold Tags mean for some reason or another I couldn’t tag you in this. If you are on the Painted Souls Tag and would like to be added to another tag, please let me know!

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