#im trying to do the same tbh
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I don't feel safe at home. Since a year now. They don't beat me but their words cut, with a threatening tone. I can't go live alone. I don't know what to do. I tried showing them love despite this but it doesn't work. I'm tired of it.
First of all, I'm really sorry to read about this. Feeling safe in our home should be something everyone has to experience through all their life, no matter what.
I don't know what they tell you or accuse you of, but it could be that they're simply throwing all their pain on you and not have it really against you despite some triggers they may get from you (and beware, I'm not trying to say they're right. At all. It's never right to project our own pain and traumas on others, especially when they have nothing to do about it -and generally it's all our own reaction to something-. But it can happen).
And even when we respond with love, they may not change anything in their behaviour cause they're not used to it or won't get the reason behind it (sometimes because some people are differently sensitive from us or simply bc they are too triggered to see a different way to act and practice it). Ofc in such a situation it's normal to feel unsafe and wanting to go away: it gets to a point in which it becomes unbearable to stay in such a place and even boundaries we may put on seem not enough. We need to feel safe to live better and feel better.
Have you tried asking to a friend or some other family member you trust? Even just support in talking about/to the people you live with.
I know not feeling safe doesn't help you in talking with those people and being vulnerable. And this all adds to you feeling drained by the whole situation, living on eggshells, constantly fighting for yourself, and having to dismiss the pain to turn it into love (this is what drains us the most in general): this is also what makes you so special and strong tbh.
But you know it already, so back to your question. I had suggested once (but honestly it was a slightly different job-related situation) to wear a mask and pretend: in order to save ourselves, pretending the aggressor is "right" (meaning: asking what we're doing wrong, why, how should we do things, making them realize stuff while talking calmly... playing dumb too, if you want: they may not expect it) could do, but I don't thing it can work on the long term everyday as it may cause us to not recognize ourself anymore (we need to work a lot on ourself first and our on values). So probably this is not for you (also cause I am not sure what they do fr), but I'll leave it here still as maybe someone else may need it.
I am sure you have already tried but the only thing I can suggest you is to try and just recover some energy as for now: sleep, take naps... take a break from everything else and focus on regaining energies (even just a day or two). In the meantime work on creating your own safe place to reconnect with yourself and find your inner peace: even few moments everyday. Lock your room's door or just go out for a walk if you can (I'd say a vacation but not having money.... a one day vacation? Maybe nearby): leaving a toxic environment even for only an hour every day could help you breathe a little. And then try and see what it is something that you love doing: work on your passion on the thing that makes you feel good and relaxes you, and make it turn into a job. e.g. Write and send your writings/book to someone that may be a publisher or a journal (short stories), be bold. You never know. Don't give up/lose hope after the first no, even if you're drained. Keep sending until you get 2 or 3 yes.
If you feel you don't have enough knowledge about your passion, study a little about it (you can find anything online) but trust me: you can build up your knowledge on the way. Just start. It'll help you get some money and maybe leave that place. Keep your focus on your goal and sure, it'll take some time to realize it, but if you happen to find the right person while you're being bold and showing off your abilities, it may even take less. I do hope this is your case tbh.
Wishing you can be strong a bit more. Do not give up please. And again, try to ask for help to a close friend or anyone else if you can.
I'm sorry but that's all I can come up with atm.
Sending you a huge hug.
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once more around the sun!! :3
#mine#cats#happy new year!!! a little late but alas#i didnt like th colours here but now i love them hehehehehheheh#i hope everyone had a good holidays life development for me is i now like ice hockey#in my sports fan era...these greasy sweaty bloody white men...intrigue me#also i got a new diary!! im using th hobonichi cousin in kinda alarmed by it ngl a5 is a lot of space to fill#i tried the hobonichi techo a couple years ago n found it a rlly weird size 2 work in but now.........big page scawwy#im trying not 2 b too insane about it . like relax who cares#if i do cute spreads i will share them :3#also in th same vein im not setting a book goal this year !! tbh i surpassed my goal last year by a lot and wasnt stressed about it at All#but i get so guilty about not reading sometimes like girl . guilty to who? god? are we catholic now? get a grip#anyway anway im going to toot on my flute and then eat my weight in mac n cheese#love how i had to get a new cork in my flute bc i didnt play for like 10 months n th guy was like play regularly! n i was like yeh will do!#and then did not do that#alas...time escapes me
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thoughts
also wasn't sure what to do with the lan simp brothers so i guess they can sit on the side
#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin guangyao#jiang cheng#nie mingjue#sorry if someone made this post already / this is already obvious to the fandom. im new :'3#mdzs meta#anyways ig herein lies the reason why jiggy's chengxian hot takes are not quite correct#he's projecting the nieyao dynamic onto them but it's not quite the same!!!#anyways this is also why im both a jc stan and a jiggy apologist. i prefer pragmatic characters who recognize the limits of their abilities#do not attempt the impossible. u will fail and die. no main character halo for u after all#anyways i wasnt sure what to do with the lan simp brothers. whether to add a third axis/category for them or not.#lan xichen mediates between jiggy and nmj and i guess tries to see both sides? or try to get them to understand each other? idk tbh#lan wangji is just a hater though. he is 100% on wwx's side. wei ying is right about everything actually. jiang wanyin you loser bitch#yanyan speaks
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#not to complain ab the same stuff i always complain ab#but my artblock is soooo bad . its so bad and frustrating and limiting and demotivating#because instead of being able to draw whatever whenever i feel like im chained to random bursts of inspiration#that i cant manifest just by willing it so yk. and imlike why…#so many ppl who draw whether for their job or for their hobby seem to be able to do it whenever#and its like yeah i could put pen to paper rn but theres such a mental disconnect that its not enjoyable anymore#dude its so whateverr😭😭 like its so made up and ik its just a psychological thing but it feels so physically .Hard#rrrgwgqq#like i try to maintain the habit by drawing stuff out even w no end in mind#but that also stresses me out bc its likeIDKK idk#silly tbh#seeing all of this art arnd me all the time > online and stuff is so nice and inpsiring#and it makes me want to do that too but i legitcannot . like i am being squished by a boulder and my hands are chained to 30lb weights#whatfreakign ever dude .like whateverrr#i want to grind my brain 2 a pulp . honestly🙌#like what do u mean u cant u literally just do it.but im the one exception to that
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from here
#this is so fucking important to me#im... so happy about how the manga tackled THIS scene#kingdom hearts#this part of kh3 always felt odd to me tbh#it felt like the writers wanted to do something and just. didnt go all the way#there were ideas and they just didnt fully write them down and put the same amount of effort into them as they did in other places#THIS feels so fucking... emotional. and for what reason?#it's just. sora cares about roxas.#it's just true. he cares about roxas and feels bad about the situation that him and roxas both were put in.#he never found it fair that he got to exist while roxas was told to unalive.#and while the sora writing in khDDD and kh3 definitely told us that#definitely told us that sora DOES NOT like this situation and he would be willing to do anything to bring roxas back#it wasn't this.#this feels like a friend you barely got to know. realising that you had it so rough.#and desperately trying to break down any barriers between you two and grab your wrist#to hold onto you tight and refuse to give up on searching for you and trying to help you out of your darkest places.#sora is so fucking insistent on proving that roxas is not just his nobody.#roxas is roxas.#donald being sorta confused makes complete sense#because he didnt see how roxas fought with every fibre of his being against sora to just try and beat him and prove his right to live#he didnt see sora bearing the weight of roxas' life and feel the betrayals and lies and deception that he barely understood as it was.#to anyone else. roxas probably is just sora's nobody.#sora may very well be the one person who knows that isn't true.
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the fact mostly everybody is upset with the style of the new trailer and im just like YIPPEE
#i feel so out of place rn#i thought it looked nice#a little goofy with some characters but it is NOT as cartoony as most people claim#'its overwatch style!1111!!!' im gonna to skin you alive#somebody was upset that varric was in it but not fenris and im like bro#i want him in it too but BFFR#why would they NOT use varric lol?#the introductions and shit were kind of goofy and stuff but omg#these mfers are acting like thats the ENTIRE game#i was trying to avoid leaks for the game but tbh#unless theyve changed the art style since the leaked screenshots it doesnt look the same to me#AND THERES BIG FUCKING TEXT AT THE BOTTOM THAT SAYS 'GAME ENGINE FOOTAGE. NOT ALL IMAGES APPEAR IN GAME'#maybe i really do like all the games in a series that everybody else hates lol#tlou 2. borderlands 3. dragon age inquisiton.#and now probably dragon age the veilguard lol#kwyoz.txt#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age dreadwolf
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having fun with colors for once :P
thanks @creepycoffins for the awesome dtiys :D
#creepycoffinsdtiys#trigun#millions knives#vash the stampede#i haven't drawn nearly enough knives. posted him even less#him and vash are so fun to draw :P ik they have the same face but it's like. fun to experiment with how different i can make them look yk#also admittedly. did most of this at work during downtime so if it looks funky..... my bad#the lighting isn't the greatest aight?? it's night shift and there's no windows but they do dim the lights#i did do the limited coloring i did at home lol. wasnt gon bring more art supplies to work#trying to get back into the swing of things with my drawing. i got myself a huion display for my birthday this year!#on top of my traditional i wanna do more animated stuff#primarily animated bc honestly i don't really wanna learn digital painting or whatever. im not interested in that and i like my harsh style#i'd also like to do more original work. i think last year was literally just trigun fanart lmfaoo#we'll see how things turn out ig#i'm not really holding myself to doing anything bc i don't see that turning out well. i am applying myself to more fan projects at the leas#tho those i'm applying more as a writer lmfao#well anyway. enough about me. i actually really like the drawing this was based off of! i didn't include the full body designs#and tbh vash's design is almost entirely cut out just cuz how the pose worked out :(#so i would highly suggest checking out the original art by the person i tagged!#and their other art's pretty banging as well :D
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lots of doodles because i forget to post art here most of the time
#lila art#genshin#clorinde#shenhe#kokomi#not tagging arlecchino because that does Not count as an arlecchino drawing LMFAO#He Knows Many Things.#dunmeshi#falin touden#laios touden#sorry that that siblings drawing is so blurry im too lazy to retake it#it has the lyrics to the siblings song below it bc i got it stuck in my head while drawing them#siblings! siblings! siblings! siblings! this is my sister! this is my brother! we are siblings and we care for each other! what we have! we#always share! cuz we are siblings and we have the same hair!!! dun dundun dun dun dun dun dun dundundundundun dun dun dundundun#im actually. rlly proud of those falin drawings on top#and also the clorinde one but i just drew that an hr ago so im probably going to come back to it tmrw and realize its super wonky but wtv#also the kokomi was a request from twt!!!!!#i have. a lot of those to do still#i will do them at some point i just dont have free time a lot#this is the first time ive had to draw in like two weeks i think#and my friends birthday passed and i promised to draw him hkvh so thats my priority#the clorinde was just supposed to be a warmuo#except he called me while i was drawing and we ended up playing sdv#so it was a warmup to nothing#anyway i had fun and i need to go to bed now bye#ALSO i forgot to mention that those shenhe perspectives are meant to look ugly i was trying to draw those perspectives from memory#because i was. in class.#the top down perspective is kindof cute tbh but the Other One.#its ok i love making my faves look dumb and uncomfortable on purpose
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Same face syndrome final boss
I KNOW BRO IT ANKOYS ME SO MUCH i’m working on it i promise but god damn is it difficult to change faces when you were taught one way to draw them
#I TRY AND DO STUDIES#OF PPL AS OFTEN AS I CAN#ITS SO FUCKING H A R D#i mean im working on it so i feel like that makes me happy enough#as long as i see progress from where i was to where i am#anon#anonymous#mail!!#im sure this was meant to be malicious but tbh i know i have same face syndrome BWHAHAIWH
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Half assed screens, but some of the glamours I might will use for Ieeha throughout the journey of Dawntrail!
#its funny cause im actually super nervous#in a way thats really similar to how i felt when heavenward dropped#im as prepared as i possibly can be i think for the way ieeha will look with the new graphics#while trying to remind myself to cling onto the hope of being able to mod him#maybe ill be positively surprised of how he looks but tbh i kinda doubt it with his key features being changed#but ill try to stay positive as much as possible at least#im sad that burnout + lack of PC made me miss out on so much of endwalker#i think thats why i dont feel ready for dawntrail yet... because i dont feel done with endwalker#but ill just do all the things im behind on after!!!!!!#ieeha de verral#ieeha#my screenshot#ffxiv glamour#also someone once pointed out i use the maid tights a lot#and they were right. but its still nowhere near how much i use the midan horn of healing#im serious its been the key feature of ALL of ieehas healer glams since...... when did midas drop? early 2016? since then#the field commanders gloves are my second most glamoured item most likely#especially since is for all classes.......#i want to use other headpieces but they either clip or arent visible under ieehas bangs#or they just look off#who knows what will happen in DT... maybe he'll find a new hairstyle or smth. he's had the same since like 2018#TIME SHALL TELL HEHE
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baby tails? flats and og picture below
#i wanted to try lineless art again#i like the flats better tho like way better#im trying to do it like i paint traditionally with acrylic#but its not exactly the same#also im not much of a renderer tbh#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fanart#sth#sonic#my art
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any ai fans out there
actually any puyotet fans out there at all. hi i love this dog
#i have work to do'#and im drawing dogboy instead#my dear friend boomer293 if you see this im sorry <3#i dont rlly knowhow i want to draw this guy tbh#hes an old blorbo of mine and i mean really old cause back then i didnt know how to draw anthro#i do now#so im trying to make up for my old art even though i never posted it anywhere#puyo puyo tetris#puyo puyo tetris ai#ppt ai#puyo puyo tetris 2#taton's art#the 'characters in glasses love doing the same 5 poses' is a joke with a target audience of 3 people. and im one of them
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Ride 741: Danchiku's “shout”
Pag 1
1: In their eyes,an unshakable will....!!
Pag 2
3: Ahhhh
4: Danchiku is exhaling!! For so long!!
3.... 4....
5: 5 seconds!!
Ahh
6: No, he's exhaling even more!!
8... 9.... 10 seconds!!
Ahhhhh
Pag 3
1: 11 seconds.... 12 seconds!!
3: He's emptying his lungs using all his muscles around them!!
5: This is bad!!
Pag 4
1: It's coming!!
2: “Panda shout”
“It's a breathing technique”
“I become twice as fast”
The onw who reaches the sensor line first wins this race!!
If I don't get ahead now
3: He'll catch up!!
4: Ahhh
Pag 5
5: Filled up of “fresh”!!
6: Panda....
Pag 6
1: Shout!!
Hiigaruaaagh!!
Pag 7
1: Hiigaruaaagh!!
Pag 8
1: He caught up to me!!
2: Twice as fast!!
3: Kuaaaaagh
Pag 9
1: We entered the last curve!!
And Danchiku is still accelerating!!
2: This is Danchiku at “100%”!!
Pag 10
1: Cough cough
This is so hard!!
2: 300km left until the sensor line!!
3: Catch up, catch up, catch up
Catch up!!
Pag 11
1: Sugimoto Terufumi!!
2: Kuaaaaaa
200m left!!
Pag 12
1: Cough
Cough
2: We're all both human beings
We all have limbs, and a head
Danchiku, and Onoda, and Naruko too
3: We're all human beings!!
4: Our bikes aren't all that different
My Colnago is ligh and fast!!
5: So, I'll catch up
I'll catch up!!
6: I should catch up!!
Pag 13
1: I watched it, their running
3: I watched them from the sidelines
For three years!!
4: Onoda!!
Onoda-kun!!
Sakamichi!
Pedaaal!!
5: Doesn't matter how hard it was for them
Pag 14
1: They never gave up!!
3: Calm down, heart
Calm down, breath
4: Panda shout? Bamboo Hop Shot?
5: You're working hard,didn't you, Danchiku?
That's nice
6: Then I'll indulge you and let you practice with me!!
Kuaaaaaa
Pag 15
2: They left Onoda and the others behind.. so the race is on this lap!!
Nii-chan!! On!!
They're coming!!
3: Danchiku and Sugimoto
4: 100m left!! This will settle it!!
They both started the final sprint!!
Danchiku is ahead!! And he's smiling!!
Pag 16
1: Sorry, Sugimoto-san
As expected, you ran and practiced in Sohoku with no breaks for three years
2: But
It's over now!!
3: I'm sorry, but give up please!!
4: Sugimoto!!
5: Nii-chan!!
Pag 19
2: Kuaaaaaagh
4: Ju... just now....
Pag 20
1: They arrived at the same time.... on
2: At the end.... Sugimoto stretched ahead with a long sprint...
Who knew he could do something like that!!
3: Nii-chan really is amazing, on!!
4: But
A tie at this moment means that-
On
5: This race
Pag 21
1: Hasn't ended yet!!
It's a suddent death match until they settle this!!
2: A long.... sprint...
You still had.... something like that....
4: Good job.... my Colnago-chan, good job
5: No... now....!!
Should we go another lap, Danchiku?!
6: This guy.... he doesn't give up!!
#yowamushi pedal translations#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 741#sugimoto is so cool?????#i did not expect it tbh lmao#this chapter is prettu surprising??? makes it so difficult to guess whats going to happen#i was talking with my sister earlier and we got to the conclusion that its possible that neither of them will go to the ih in the end#and both rokudai and kinaka will#because - lbr sugimoto is too weak to compete in the ih like IM SORRY AND I HATE TO SAY IT BUT ITS TRUE!!#and he's still treated as weak or anyway not so strong you know? and yes i do know we had junta last year who was the same#but thats it we cant have the same kind of character twice right?#so yeah the chances of him going are still low for me. but at the same time. danchiku and kaburagi are being too obnoxious#its like watanabe is trying his best to not make us cheer for them#and for sugimoto to be beaten once again by them? that'd be harsh#and its suspicios that thei race ended in a tie for two times. it should have ended already at this point#so. my guess is that for some reason (maybe onoda's choice? he is the captain after all. or maybe something will happen with the first year#for some reason neither of them will be chosen and roku and kinaka will#but tbh the only thing im 100% sure is that rokudai will go to the ih#everything else is a big ?????? in my mind lmao
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Day 124 | id in alt
A little bit of a rematch and my opinion on why you never see Mai's six(seven) shooter again.
Read from left to right.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#zenin mai#i was on that crazy shit when coloring thay in-between panel#i just wanted to make it look like it was two seconds short of being a comically fucked impact frame#we all know mai was tweaking the fuck out when her gun shattered it took her half a business day to walk up to Kugisaki and try to shake he#they hate eachother they do violence#Kugisaki had another nail in her hand but its blocked off by the thick ass borders lmao#writing for Kugisaki is like breathing air#IM FUCKING SERIOUS BTW IF I SEE ANU SLANDER ON KUGISAKI I WILL FUCKING CAST 1000#1000 PLAUGES UPON YE I WILL NOT TOLERATE SLANDER ON MY GIRLS NAME FRRR#Plus tbh. be creative with it. Jjk fans regurgitate the same shit over and over snd most of the ones i see cant comprehend shit unless#unless its shoved down their throats and even then its like a 50/50#anyway i just love thinking Kugisaki always just bites back shes built like that built aggressive#bear agenda Kugisaki is still hear yall trust trust#also now i low-key have a simmering animosity towards Fushiguro. some people just make me mad. its almost getting as bad as the#the hate i have for yuta. i will not explain myself and i WILL mind my own Business#i will draw yuta for other folks tho#its whatever your honor#maybe my sodium intake is catching up with me#the lizard comment low-key stems from the fact i aggressively called the queen of England a biped lizard#i dont fade into weird political theories but it was kinfa funny to me#ive been thinking about making an au where Kugisaki is a robot. trust i can make anything work#i will not elaborate
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it only took one look
#rgg#rggo#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 3#ryu ga gotoku online#yakuza series#yakuza 3#daigo dojima#yoshitaka mine#minedai#snap sketches#i dont even like this tbh !!!!!#i dont hate it im just conflicted on what i could do so i could like it more so im posting it now and leaving it behind#i knew i wasnt going to be totally happy cause i can never commit to wholly colored stuff like this but i had to try#i thought about doing black and white but i just felt like that wouldnt hit the same- not that i know if this exactly hits but w/e#i was thinkin bout drawing entire rggo stories last night and while i will absolutely not do that i will stil think heavily about it#ive been wanting to draw this scene for a while i could just see it so distinctly in my brain#tho Again idk how i feel bout my execution but W/e W/e i'm happy enough#also i just wanted to quote a song hehe#ok bye
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here's what i could find on the situation ..
#the only posts are from this guy#from what i can tell the girls Are in college but their ages are not known. the poster doesnt have a certain number either#but that doesnt clear him of possible gr**ming or still being a potential *#☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#and hes trying to make them go to indiana like why tf would anyone want to go there#if anyone knows more abt this pls tell me yall#i dont follow edey in college or now and i was just planning to since hes on my team#but i always liked hearing his name bcs he would be great asian rep in the league (ik hes biracial but still)#the guy who posted this said he got the qrt from the boyfriend of the girl#and said an age range but not sure#the poster did not like zach b4 this and continues not to like him after#(talking abt his stats but not mentioning anything else abt this)#are there anymore posts im missing???#it's crazy theres just two from the same source and never again but athletes do have a power against ordinary ppl#smthing couldve been signed or smthing#and contained the situation immediately#.. but idk#from what i can tell all girls are in college but the ages are not confirmed#pls if anyone knows anything more abt this let me know...#i just wanted gg to have a friend tbh :( ill just stick with my wemby gg propaganda then
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