#im very tired and i should go to bed. but i am filled with a relentless kind of love and appreciation for my battalion of wildly talented

[spdrvyn]

im begging for miguel x reader where he’s sick/tired/woke up from a nightmare and is in desperate need of shooting. so she takes care of him - pure domestic contentment- grooming him/washing/shaving/brushing hair/towel drying/changing clothes (and socks 🥺)/feeding him - doing everything to relax him and make him feel loved

solace in your sweetness

summary: in the deep trenches of the night, miguel wakes up due to night terrors and you're very deadset on comforting him. no matter how many times he denies you that.

tags: hurt/comfort. very sweet and fluffy. reader isn't a spider-person. fem!reader.

notes: i love this request so so much, i have been ITCHING to do it. thank you so much for requesting, i hope you enjoy reading this one!

Miguel didn't really have nightmares when he was younger. On the occasion that Gabe would bother him to watch a scary movie, there would be instances where he had them, but it wasn't a regular occurence. How naïve was he when he thought that he'd be able to leave those behind in his youth?

It started simple, he would be in the barren, empty streets of Nueva York. Before he would slowly watch every thing dissolve around him, glitch by glitch, pixel by pixel, unable to do anything but to just stand there, before he fell into the abyss and woke up.

The darkest part of his mind had always managed to make the scenario more horrifying, another time it was zombies, another time it was zombies again, but of only Gabriella. There was even a version where he was being chased by the other dead version of himself. He consulted many articles, read and bought a lot of books, and even tried meditating, but none of it worked so he just decided to live with it for a while. It wasn't like they happened every night, no big deal.

Though, it was a big deal to you. Which was his true fear, he didn't want you to fawn over something so trivial. He didn't want you to go out of your way to take care of him, despite how much it would fill the big, gaping hole in his heart.

So when he jolts awake from another night terror, he keeps himself as quiet as possible. He slowly looked over to the side of your bed, relieved to see that you were still in a peaceful sleep. He shifts silently and keeps his footsteps light as he makes his way over to the kitchen for some tea. The calming, minty aroma sweeped his senses, but it'd be better to work right now instead of relax.

He went back to the bedroom, setting the teacup down on the bedside before pulling out a small tablet. He winced as it opened, the brightness of it hurting his eyes even with glasses on. After lowering it, he immediately goes to rifle through his files.

That is until he felt the weight of your head on his shoulders, you looked up at him with a frown. "You're working."

"I am," Miguel spoke like he was caught with a hand in the cookie jar. As embarrassed as he was, it was too late. You should probably be going back to sleep, he remembered that you also had work early tomorrow. "I just got thirsty, go back to sleep, cariño."

A bald-faced lie, would you believe it or would you not? Your brows furrowed and your pout deepened, it made Miguel's palms sweat. Moments like these forced him to think if you really did have superpowers, there were too many instances where it seemed like you read his mind word for word.

"Why are you lying to me, Miguel?" Shock. It was his face, wasn't it? "Did you have any another nightmare? Why didn't you wake me up?"

Miguel's pride had shattered, you were too good at this. A little more and you'd be unmasking every single villain in the city. "You need to be up early, I just didn't want to ruin your beauty sleep." He closed his files and turned off his tablet, this was his fate now.

You all but groaned at his remark, kicking the bedsheets off of your body before stamping out of the bedroom. "Where are you-"

"Stay there, don't move an inch." He didn't want to incur God's wrath, so he obeys. Crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the pillows, his smell picked up on the scent of food being freshly cooked. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but by the lord, it smelled delicious.

Miguel was left there to wait for a while, this sort of reminded him of his younger days too, granted a lot more blissful. There were times when he was younger where Gabe had nightmares too, he'd come knocking on Miguel's door, asking if he could stay there for a while or if he could play video games with him.

To which Miguel would begrudgingly agree, but he normally tried to keep Gabe as uninterested in whatever they were doing as possible so that he could fall asleep already. This usually resulted in him falling asleep then Miguel having to sleep on the couch, but it was whatever. I mean, he only stopped doing that at the young age of 11.

So now being the one taken care of, it made Miguel feel like there was an outside force tipping the scales. After being a caretaker, one way or another, his whole life, having you step in and take him for a breather was like seeing a fish head on a lion's body.

You came back soon enough with a plate and spoon in hand, it was made clear to Miguel exactly what you were cooking. Tomato sauce with meatballs, you diced a small bit of the beef with the spoon before scooping some soup up, bringing it close to his mouth. "Ahhh,"

"I can eat on my—"

"Ahhhhh."

"For shock's sake—" he quickly took a bite, his eyes lit up as he swallowed. "It's good."

You smiled knowingly, finally allowing him to feed himself as you handed him the plate. "I know," then your expression hardened. "I'd like to talk to you about what you dreamt about, if that's okay with you." Miguel sighed, reaching over to the bedside to take a long sip of his tea.

His heart told him that it was perfectly fine for you to know about what was troubling him for so long now, but his mind, his rationale, told him to shut his trap about anything that could cause you any sort of worry or distress. When he doesn't respond to you after another moment, you lean in closer.

"Miguel, I'm always going to worry about you." You whispered, "That's just how I am, but it's because I love you. I love you so much that I can feel how much you're hurting even when you're trying to hide it from me."

"I love you too," he closed the gap to press a kiss to the crease on your forehead, you released a short breath. "I just- I don't know how to say it, I guess."

You placed a hand on his chest, "I can put the pieces together, I just want you to get this off your chest." He wished he had the ability to deny you, you're his weakness, especially when you bat your eyelashes and look at him so sweetly like you have all the love in the world to give.

He tells you as much as he can about his dream, it's all a mess. There were many parts that he wished he could just go back and erase, he didn't even want to go through with this idea in the first place. But you were so... understanding of him, it felt creepy. Not creepy, that wasn't the right word, but it was unsettling.

Being comforted by someone else always made Miguel feel like the other person had a 'holier than thou' attitude, that or he was horribly pitied to the point where he didn't want to keep opening up anymore. You carried none of those qualities, you simply nodded, listened in pure silence, but you'd chime in with some remarks every now and again. He doesn't know how he got so lucky with you.

You gave him some advice. Miguel's experiences were gut-wrenching which resulted to his night terrors, but you could share the sentiment. To some degree, at least. The advice was to just talk about it, letting that feeling build over time and dreading the next time you fall asleep would result to more casualties in the long run. And that if he had no other people to turn to, you were the first on his roster (granted he'd talk to you first anyway, but that's besides the point).

After putting away his empty plate, you joined him in bed again, it's probably still very late into the night, only three hours until you get up for work, but you didn't mind as long as you got to spend it with Miguel. However he wishes to.

The feeling of yours lips on his forehead, face nuzzled into his hair while your fingers drew shapes into his back.

The way he wrapped his arms around your hips, slotting one of his legs in between yours, and the sound of your heartbeat.

He falls into a blissful sleep, knowing you will protect him from the horrors that lurk in the shadows. For once in his life, Miguel has been taken care of and he's so glad that it's you.

[atlabeth]

between colleagues pt 2 - anthony lockwood

part one

summary: the morning after and some shopping. this is still a great plan. right?

a/n: lol this took forever to come out but ive been busy asf and dealing with a lot of personal issues but i am really loving these two and they made me feel better so i hope you all enjoy!! they really are just two idiots in love lmao the shop scene was v fun

wc: 4.1k

warning(s): fem!reader, small mention of death in regards to a case, reader freaking tf out for a second. but basically no warnings this is all fluff

also im aware i use this gif a lot but it's like my favorite one of him so uhhhh yeah

Your shoulder was stiff when you woke up, and you had to stifle a groan of discomfort as you rolled onto your back. So much for staying off your injured side, you thought disdainfully. Typical of you to sabotage yourself in your sleep. 

A glance over at the other empty bed proved Lucy was awake, and a glance at the clock on the wall proved she might have been awake for quite some time. 

It was six in the bloody evening. Lockwood’s call with the Caldecotts must have gone well if you were able to sleep for 14 hours. You normally would have had the sense to be a little bit ashamed of sleeping an entire day away, but after the job you’d had and the arrangement you made with Lockwood, you felt like you deserved it. 

You pulled yourself out of bed and went through the paces of making yourself presentable at the very least, then threw on a sweatshirt and made your way downstairs. Lockwood was alone in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a half-eaten piece of toast in front of him and the agency’s case binder in his lap. 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Lockwood said, glancing up from the files on his lap with a smile. You rolled your eyes at him as you walked into the kitchen. 

“Would you believe me if I said I was still tired?” You took a cup from the cabinet and filled it at the tap, taking a sip as you glanced out the window. Night had already fallen, and you could see the flickering of ghost lamps in the distance. 

“You know, I think I would,” he said. “You didn’t make it the full 24 hours you promised—I think you’ve still got some in you.” 

You chuckled and shook your head. “Where’s Lucy and George?” 

“Grocery shopping,” he said, and he looked at the clock. “It’s taking them an awful long while, though.” 

“Why are they shopping at night?” you asked. 

Lockwood shrugged. “George really wanted to make pad thai, but we have none of the ingredients. Apparently, it’s important enough to warrant a night trip to the store. Lucy offered to go with him, and I made them take their rapiers, so it should be fine.” 

“Of course you did,” you mused. “Did you tell them about our little arrangement?” 

His eyes filled with amusement. “No. I figured you would want the honor.” 

You sighed and let your head fall back. “Kind as always, Lockwood.” 

“You should probably start calling me Anthony,” he said. “Just to get used to it.” 

“What,” you said dryly, looking back down at him, “girlfriends don’t usually call their boyfriends by their last name?” 

“I think your family may frown upon it.” Lockwood checked his watch, then set the binder on the table and stood up. “If you get a kettle going, I’ll make us tea.” 

“Bored of write-ups already?” you asked, crouching down to pull the kettle out of a cabinet. Lockwood chuckled as he took the tin of tea bags out of the closet, and he turned the burner on just as you finished filling the pot up. 

“I try to do my part, but they’re really not my forte,” he said. “You and George are much better at them.” 

“And it comes from filing reports since the tender age of eight,” you said solemnly as you set the kettle on the stovetop.

Just then, the sound of a lock clicking open drew your attention, and you smiled as Lucy and George came inside. George had a reusable bag in one hand and her rapier in another, and Lucy also had hers drawn. 

Your brows knit together. “Run into any ghosts?” 

“Good morning to you too,” George said. You gave him a mocking look in return. 

“No,” Lucy answered, pushing the door shut with her foot, “just being careful. Because somebody swore he saw a Spectre and refused to let a Visitor run away with his goods.”

“I am starving,” George enunciated. “I wasn’t going to let a ghost ruin all my hard work.” 

Lockwood smiled. “Well, I’m glad you’re both intact.”

“I’m glad you’re finally up,” George said with a look at you. “I thought you’d never come out.”

“She slept like a brick,” Lucy said. “I knocked over all the bottles in the shower and she never even stirred.”

You shrugged. “Last night was exhausting. For many reasons.”

The kettle went off and you turned the burner back down. Lockwood took two more mugs out of the cabinet and set tea bags in them, then poured the boiling water into all four. You handed him the sugar container with a pointed look. 

“Remember, half—” 

“Half a teaspoon,” he nodded, taking it from you with a wry smile. “I remember.” 

“Good,” you said. “You’re always a little heavy handed.” 

“Are you saying I add extra sweetness into your life?” Lockwood asked, and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“How did you know?” 

“You know, we’re also here,” Lucy spoke up, though when you turned to her she was barely hiding a smile. 

“As if I could ever forget you, Lucy Carlyle,” you said. “How’s your day been?” 

“Quiet without you,” she said. “Lockwood’s been on the phone all day, and even though George didn’t sleep quite as long as you, he still woke up at two in the afternoon.” 

“Oh, please,” George said over his shoulder, in the midst of rifling through his groceries, “I earned it. We all did, after the night we had.” 

“True,” she said, tilting her head. “I actually didn’t have any nightmares for once— I’ve never slept so soundly.” 

“See?” You gestured at her. “The charms I put on the walls are working.” 

Lucy gave you a look. “You can’t seriously believe that.” 

“No ghosts have gotten into our room!” you exclaimed. “And both of our nightmares have been getting better. That dragon is protecting us.” 

Lockwood bit back a smile. “I still cannot believe you bought that.” 

“Seriously,” George said, still organizing ingredients. “A week’s wages, just gone.” 

You frowned. “My iron dragon is incredible, thank you very much. Besides, I’m supporting local businesses.” You glanced at Lockwood. “So the supply calls were made?”

“Every last one of them,” he confirmed as he stirred sugar into your tea. “Satchell’s was very happy to get our business again. Salt bombs will be in on Friday, flares come next week, and we’re getting brand new chains tomorrow. Plus a couple new silver glass containers from Sunrise.”

“That’s smart,” you said. “I think I threw our last square container in the furnaces last week.” 

George frowned. “We went into the disaster that was last night without any silver glass?”

Lockwood cleared his throat as he handed you your mug, then set the other two on the table for Lucy and George. “Everything worked out in the end.”

Lucy just sighed. “We cut things too close for comfort.”

“The Lockwood & Co motto,” you said before taking a sip of tea. Perfectly sweetened. “How about the Caldecotts?”

“Rescheduled for tomorrow at half past noon,” Lockwood said. “Do you think you’ll be awake by then?”

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly. “I didn’t forget our deal that quickly.”

George raised his eyebrows. “What deal?”

“Oh, nothing,” you said. “Just sold my soul for a favor from Lockwood.”

Lucy frowned, eyeing the two of you. “Elaborate.”

Lockwood hid his smile with a sip of tea as he also looked at you. So this was still your treat. 

You shrugged. “We’re going to a wedding together.”

“Not exactly selling your soul,” George said. “Congrats.”

You rolled your eyes. “We’re going together.” 

“Congrats,” he said again. “Are we just emphasizing words now?” 

“We’re going as a couple,” Lockwood said. 

Lucy’s eyes widened and George nearly choked on his tea as they blurted out the same thing. “What?” 

“A fake couple,” you added hastily, “to fool my family.”

“…Oh,” Lucy said, glancing at George. “That’s…”

“Less exciting,” he finished. 

Lockwood made a face. “Less exciting? George, we’re going to be lying to her whole family for a whole weekend. I’d say that’s quite exciting.” 

He glanced at Lucy for a moment before he sighed and looked back at Lockwood with a shake of his head. “Sure.” 

“Anyways,” you segued, “I just thought you two should know. It’s not for another month and half, but between the usual ghost-hunting we’re going to be doing a fair bit of planning together.”

“Spend all the time together that you want,” Lucy said. “George and I are good enough at holding down the fort, right?”

“It was just Lockwood and I for months at the beginning of all this, and half the time I was on my own because of investigatory whims,” George said. “At least you’re usually sort of predictable, Luce.”

She frowned. “I take offense to that.”

Lockwood chuckled and shook his head as he set the other two cups of tea down on the table for them. “We won’t impede work at all, I promise. I’ll make sure everything still goes as smoothly as possible.”

“What Lucy said,” George said, finally satisfied with the order of all the ingredients as he got to work. “Spend as much time together as you want.” 

“Maybe you will,” you said haughtily. “Maybe Lockwood’s lying and we’ll completely abandon our duties.” 

“We won’t,” Lockwood assured, and you merely smiled as you took another sip of tea. 

“Speaking of work,” Lucy said, “we ran into Kipps and Godwin on the way to the store.” 

Lockwood’s expression hardened and he set his mug down a bit too forcefully. “Why didn’t you say that earlier?” 

“Because it was nothing,” George said, looking up from cutting vegetables. You were glad he was the one with a knife and not Lockwood. “Just typical Kipps posturing.” 

“He told us about some job they got,” Lucy said. “Some ridiculously rich widow hired Fittes to find and clear out the ghost of her husband, and they were put on the case.” 

“What was her name?” Lockwood asked. 

“I wasn’t really paying attention, if I’m being honest,” she said. 

“Agnes Colville,” George said. 

“That bastard!” Lockwood’s jaw clenched and he moved across the room to a stack of newspapers on the floor, toppling over from the height. He crouched down and began rifling through them, and after a second he pulled out one and held it up for you all to see. The look in his eye was only slightly crazed, which was admittedly progress. “He stole it from us!”

“I do remember seeing her in the paper,” you said after taking a moment to scan the cover. Her husband died of old age, and it was only because of their impressive fortune that anyone knew of it. “A tragedy.” 

“I talked to her first,” he insisted, still crouched on the ground. “I called her right after I got this paper, and she told me she wasn’t looking for any agents.” 

“She changed her mind, I guess,” Lucy said with a shrug. 

“Or Kipps bothered her until she changed it,” Lockwood grumbled. 

“Great,” George said wryly as he pushed garlic off his knife. “We’re going to be working double time to make up for this, aren’t we?” 

“Sharp as always,” Lockwood said, and he finally stood up as he set the newspaper back down. He pointed a finger at you. “After we go dress shopping tomorrow, it’s straight to the archives to pick up a better case than Kipps.”

You raised an eyebrow. “We’re going dress shopping tomorrow?”

“Did I not tell you?” He frowned. “Caldecotts then dress shopping. And now archives.”

“No,” you said, “you absolutely didn’t.”

Lockwood shrugged. “Well, now you know. We’re going dress shopping.”

“Awfully eager to get into this boyfriend role,” George said.

“I take my job seriously.”

“I already have a dress, Lockwood,” you said. “Dorothy Perkins, remember?”

“This is a special occasion,” he said. “You deserve something nice.”

You felt your cheeks warm and you looked right at him. “You’ll pay?”

“Of course,” he said. “Business expenses, remember?”

You laughed and shook your head. “Yeah. Alright, we can go dress shopping. But if I’m getting a new dress, you’re getting a new suit.”

“Fair’s fair,” he said.

“Do we get any new clothes on your bill?” George asked. “Or is that just reserved for your fake girlfriend?” 

“Oh, come off it, George,” Lucy said. “Let them have some fun together.” 

“Thank you, Lucy,” you said as you sat down across from her. 

“Of course,” she said. “You’re saving me from the Caldecotts and a day in the archives. I should really be thanking you.” 

You turned to look at Lockwood. “You’re not going to use this as an excuse to get me to come along on all your errands with you, are you?” 

“Do try and be supportive, love,” Lockwood said. “It’s only right as my girlfriend.” 

You groaned as you leaned back in your chair, trying your best to ignore Lucy’s smile. “Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.” 

“Another Lockwood & Co motto,” George mused. “How fitting.” 

-

“Is that Anthony Lockwood walking through my door?” 

You looked up when you walked through the door after Lockwood, a grin already on his face as the boutique saleswoman, a kindly older woman, greeted him. A worker at an upscale clothing store knew him by name—already a good sign. 

“Ms. Bridgeston,” Lockwood said, “it’s been too long.” 

“It certainly has, young man!” She pulled him into a hug and he returned it, and the woman looked at you when she pulled away. “And who is this darling girl with you?” 

Lockwood said your name with a gesture, and you smiled and held out your hand. “I’m his associate.” 

“And my girlfriend,” he added as she shook your hand. You shot him a look over her shoulder with wide, questioning eyes. 

“Practicing,” he mouthed at you with a shrug. He was so ridiculous that you had to stifle a laugh. 

“Yes,” you said, looking back at her with a smile, “his girlfriend, too.” 

“Well, it is wonderful to meet you, dear.” Ms. Bridgeston smiled at Lockwood. “Anthony here has wonderful taste in apparel—he was right to bring you here.” 

“I believe it,” you said with a glance around. “We’re actually in the market for wedding clothes—my cousin is getting married soon.” 

“Oh, congratulations!” She clasped her hands together, eyes shining as she looked between both of you. “Is there anything you need help with, or would you just like to look around?” 

“We’re good to just look,” Lockwood said, “but we’ll certainly let you know if we need anything.” 

Ms. Bridgeston nodded with another smile. “Certainly. I’ll be in the back stocking if you need me.” 

“Thank you,” you said, and you looked at Lockwood as she walked off. “Any ideas?” 

He shook his head. “Get whatever you’d like. This is a very special occasion.” 

You chuckled and nodded, going off to look at a rack of dresses. The agency had been doing well for itself lately. You supposed you could splurge on a nicer dress after nearly dying a couple dozen times. “What are you going for?” 

“Oh, I’m not getting anything here,” he said. “I’ve already got a suit at home, and I’ll get a pocket square that matches whatever color you’re wearing. We’re shopping for you—I’m just having fun here.”

“How exquisite,” you mused as you ran your finger over velvet. “We’ve only been fake dating for a day and you’re already all in.” 

“Consider it getting in character,” Lockwood said. “We’ll already have gotten all our mistakes out of the way by wedding time.” 

“Wise as always.” You took the maroon dress off the rack and continued moving down the line, and you glanced over at Lockwood. “You’ve already got what you want?” 

“Most of my wardrobe is black and white.” He held up a navy suit. “This is different.” 

“Hardly,” you said with a chuckle. “Dark blue is almost black.” 

“This is my version of fun,” Lockwood said wryly, and you smiled as he went into the dressing room. 

You spent the next while picking out dresses that struck your fancy, and by the time Lockwood was done, you had five in your arms. When he walked out, you nearly dropped them all. 

You didn’t know what was wrong with you. 

Perhaps it was lingering sleep deprivation from the near 24 hours you spent awake the other day. Perhaps it was lingering anger from your dealings with the Caldecotts—no amount of money could make dealing with Lorena worth it, but all those zeroes did help—or perhaps you were just already losing your mind. 

Despite your complaints, you weren’t averse to the day Lockwood had planned out. Seeing as you’d spent entire days rooting through the archives with him on wild goose chases, an afternoon after an interview and some shopping wasn’t the worst it could get.

But now, standing in the back of the store as Lockwood emerged, you were beginning to question the wisdom of this decision. 

Because you honest to God didn’t know what was wrong with you. You saw Lockwood in suits every day, or at least something suit-adjacent. Slacks, a jacket and tie, a million white dress shirts that you always end up folding. Pristine shoes, so shiny you can see your reflection in them, getting ruined by cobwebs and plasma over and over—you’ve spent many a night sitting with Lockwood talking as he polished his most recent pair of shoes, determined to get them back to their former glory. 

The point was that you were used to it. You were used to seeing Lockwood dressed up—when you first joined the agency, you honestly thought he slept in suits as well until you ran into him one night on a mission for midnight tea.

So why were you unable to look away from him when he emerged from the dressing room? Why were you rendered absolutely and completely speechless? 

It was nothing special, at least for Lockwood. Just a tuxedo. Navy blue rather than black like he always wore, but far nicer than the usuals. He was fussing with his bowtie as he walked out, muttering things under his breath, and thankfully not looking at you at all. You felt your eyes widen, your breath stolen from you for a moment, and all you could do was stare. Very classy of you, but you could hardly be blamed. He was stunning.  

You didn’t even realize he was saying something until you heard your name for what had to have been the third time, and you blinked and snapped out of your stupor. 

“What?” 

He gave that damn smile and inclined his head slightly, holding up one end of the tie hanging around his neck. “Could you help me with this? I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning.” 

At least you had that in common. You cleared your throat and nodded, taking a deep breath as you walked up to him in the hopes that you looked far more composed than you felt. “Yeah. Of course.” 

You felt his eyes on you the entire time and you tried your hardest not to focus on it. You’d done Lockwood’s ties millions of times, usually before a particularly important interview or a particularly difficult night. He always said it was good luck, and you always rolled your eyes with a smile. 

“So?” Lockwood spoke after a moment, still watching you.  

“It’s good,” you said with a nod as you finished tying the bow, making sure it was straight before you stepped away. “You look good.” 

“Thank you,” Lockwood said, looking at himself in the mirror with a slight smile. “For the compliment and the help. 

“It’s what I’m here for,” you said. 

“And as much as I appreciate that,” he said, turning that smile on you, “we’re here so you can get a dress too. Did you pick any out while I was getting ready?” 

You nodded and picked up the hangers you’d set down to help Lockwood. “Which one do you want to see first?” 

“Definitely the maroon one,” he said with a nod. “Goes well with your eyes.” 

“You’re too kind,” you said, and he chuckled as he pressed his hand to his heart. 

You went behind the curtain, purposefully taking your time as you undressed so you could try and compose yourself further. It was just a suit, and he was just Lockwood, and this was just a fun little ruse to get your mum off your back for once. 

Just a suit. Just a ruse. Just Lockwood. 

You let out a deep breath and nodded, finally feeling like yourself again. You stepped into the dress and pulled it up, adjusting it around your figure before you zipped it up in the back, but you couldn’t get it all the way up. 

“Lockwood,” you called, “can you help me?” 

“Of course,” you heard him respond. 

You pushed the curtain aside and stepped back out, making some more minute adjustments along the way. When you looked up, Lockwood’s eyes were wide, his lips slightly parted. 

“Lockwood,” you said, staring at him. 

He blinked and seemed to focus back in, his head perking up. “What?” 

“My zipper.” 

“Right.” Lockwood moved just a bit too quick around you, and you shivered as his fingers brushed your bare back for a moment while he pulled the zipper the rest of the way up. “Sorry.”

“Your hands are always cold,” you said. “It’s fine.” 

“That’s—” he cleared his throat, and you turned just to see him shake his head. “Right. Yeah. Thanks.” 

You raised your eyebrows, the slightest smile tugging at you. “For what?” 

His own rose. “Hm?” 

“You thanked me. For what?” 

Lockwood shook his head again. “Don’t worry about it.” 

You chuckled and nodded, holding out the skirt of your dress with your hands. “So? What do you think?” 

“You look incredible,” he said, “obviously. It’s an honor to be your fake boyfriend.” 

“You’re gonna make me blush,” you said, but your cheeks already felt too warm for comfort. 

Lockwood grinned. “Good.” 

You had to turn away at that point. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, teasing you like this. “You’re taking your role way too seriously,” you said, busying yourself with rifling through the rest of the dresses you picked out. 

“I told you,” he said, “I take my job seriously. And as someone who takes their job seriously, I think that dress is definitely the one.” 

“Really?” You held up a sparkling blue dress against you and looked at him. “What about this one?” 

He shook his head. “Maroon is definitely the one.” 

“I agree, dear.” You looked up to see Ms. Bridgeston walking out carrying two boxes, that same adoring twinkle in her eye. “You look beautiful.” 

“Thank you.” You looked back in the mirror for another good, long moment, and you nodded decisively. “I agree. This is the one.” 

“Wonderful choice,” she said. 

“Perfect choice,” Lockwood said with a grin. “If you get changed, I can go ahead and pay for everything. We’ve already used up half our day—we’ve got to get to the archives.” 

You eyed him. “You didn’t just say this was the one so we could spend eight hours in the archives, did you?” 

“No,” he assured. “That is the one—trust me, love. You just happened to pick out the best one first.” 

You chuckled and shook your head as you started going back to the dressing room. “Whatever you say.” 

Soon enough, you and Lockwood were both back in your regular clothes, dress bag in tow, walking down the streets of London. 

“You seriously don’t mind spending all that money for this?” you asked, glancing over at him. 

“Of course not,” he said. “I can always take it out of your paycheck, if it’ll make you feel better.” 

You laughed and hit him on the arm, earning a chuckle in response. “As long as you seriously weren’t lying to me about liking this dress to get me to the archives.” 

“I would never lie to you about something like that,” Lockwood said, and he held up his pointer and middle finger. “Agent’s honor.” 

You smiled inwardly. “Thank you, then. I suppose I can handle spending the rest of the day in the archives with you with compliments like that.” 

“Thank you, then,” he repeated. “We do have to make a stop for tea, first.” 

“Naturally,” you agreed. 

As you continued on your way, not exactly arm in arm but close enough for your hands to brush every so often, you found your mind drifting back to Lockwood in that damned suit. You cleared your throat and shook your head, trying to physically push the thought away. 

“Everything alright?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you said. “Just got something in my throat.” 

Lockwood nodded, thankfully oblivious to your inner struggle. You let out a deep breath. 

This was definitely still a good idea.

[joshs-big-toe]

can you write a super fluffy josh futterman fic where they play Minecraft?:)

I literally this this is the cutest prompt ever, I am legit so garbage at writing fluff so it is potentially going to be a little short, I apologize in advance. I hope I do it justice :)

Cw: mega fluff, josh futturman, fem! Reader, video games

You honestly were extremely grateful for Josh. You had just moved to LA that year working in an internship position for Kronish Labs, working directly under Dr. Kronish. You thought his research was silly, however, you knew this internship would look incredible on your resume. Moving hours away from home stressed you out more than you realized, not knowing anyone, and trying to start a life in a new state, it was a lot. That’s when you met Josh. A goofy janitor with a video game addiction. Immediately, you were smitten. Soon enough, you had to get the nerve to ask him out, and to your surprise, he said yes. From then on, you got to work alongside the boy who was your saving grace, the boy who also got you into his videogame addiction.

-------------------------

“Josh can we please take a break from Biotic Wars?” you whined. The two of you had been on this level for the last 3 days, and frankly, you were tired of looking at Wolf get killed over and over again (hes hot, what can you say).

“Come on were almost at the end!” he excitedly shouted at you, turning toward you in in his gaming chair, his hair falling over his face. His smile was bright, causing small creases on the outer corner of his eyes. His dark eyes seemed to be shining, beaming with excitement. You couldn’t help but smile. He was so insanely pretty. You let out a soft smile.

“can we please play something else?” you pushed out your bottom lip in a pout. He got up, walking over to the bed, jumping onto it next to you. He kissed your cheek.

“okay, okay. What would you like to play now, peanut?” Peanut was a name that he called you from the very beginning. You used to have a small tub of peanuts in your office, and since then he always called you peanut. Weird, you know, but you liked to snack when you were writing your reports. Sheepishly, you asked,

“what if we just played some Minecraft?” his face immediately lit up, a big smile forming on his lips.

“of course, weirdo,” he chuckled. He quickly got up, tossing a controller your way and loading up Minecraft on his tv. He loaded a new survival world, and start playing. “hey theres some pigs over here, im gonna get us some food,” he smiled.

“Okay,” you smiled. “Im going to start getting a house put together.” In the game, you two start scrambling to get a shelter put together as the sun set. You ended up making a square dirt house with a singular torch. Josh moves his character toward the house, closing it up when we get inside. He put a bed down.

“Here, I got you this one.” He placed a pink bed next to his bland white one. You looked over to him and smiled.

“Aww, next to yours? Cute,” you smiled. He leaned over and gave you a soft kiss on your lips, filling you with a warmth that you loved.

“You are my girlfriend,” you didn’t know why, but you blushed. You loved being called his girlfriend. You looked back at the tv, hiding the blush that crept across your face. “Oh, and one more thing,” he made his character crouch as he placed a rose next to your bed.

“Aw, youre too sweet, joshy,” you grinned as you clicked the bed to make your character sleep.

---------------

Hours passed, and you were starting to get sleepy. “Hey joshy, I think I should get going home, Im getting really tired,” you yawned out. He frowned.

“Already?”

“I have to get up earlyyy,” you groaned.

“Do you want to stay the night? We can just drive to work together?” His eyes were tired.

“Sure, I would love to stay the night, josh.” This was the first time you got to stay the night over there. He smiled, turning off the tv to get ready for bed. He got under the covers, patting the spot next to him for you to join him. Hesitantly, you did, and he immediately wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. He gave you a soft kiss.

“thank you for staying tonight. I love you.” Your eyes widen, looking at him. He had a cheesy grin spread across his face.

“What did you say?” you couldn’t help but start to smile.

“I love you, y/n.”“I love you too, joshy,” you buried your head into his chest, hiding your face. You listened to his heartbeat as you slowly drifted off to sleep, happy.

sorry its so short, but i hope it was okay! like i said, im not used to writing fluff but this was my first shot. hopefully i do better in the future! thanks for the request!

[monstersinthecosmos]

idk if this counts as a horny marius thought but i was thinking about venice era and how amadeo might address him at different times. like i think maybe one time after marius has been eating him out for hours, repeatedly bringing him close to the edge and then back, amadeo gets tired of calling out "master" and impulsively lets marius' first name slip his tongue. marius decides to handle the insubordination lightly at first, not even pulling away as he tugs harder at the soft flesh of amadeo's hips, lets his voice fill his angel's mind: try that again, amadeo (;D!).

in a stubborn haze amadeo props himself up on his elbow, feels his master's tongue shift deeper into him before he stares down into marius' eyes and mocks him. "is this how you treat the others, master? tell me, why should i call you as they do?"

and maybe it works, sets off a threat of anger in marius's calm exterior as he sits back to slap amadeo's ass, pull his hole open. his voice is darkened by it when he replies, "i am not your peer. you will address me with due respect."

the words sink into amadeo as marius fucks his tongue back into his hole, grabs his thighs hard enough to bruise, the roughness making him want to come. he falls back into the bed, helpless, the severity of his master's tone still ringing in his ears as he tries again and moans, sweet and pliant, "father"

you dont -- ?? KNOW?? If it COUNTS?????!!!!!!?!?!?? excuse me sir you pulled amadeo's HOLE OPEN god this reminds me of like ahdjkglads this part in TVA where Amadeo is like WILL YOU SPANK ME AGAIN IF IM BAD 🥰🥰🥰🥰

"I'll be very good, a saint," I said. "But if I'm not will you whip me again, please?" The moment I saw the anger in his face I regretted this. What made me say such things! "Don't tell me you didn't mean it!" he said, reading my mind and hearing the words before I could get them out. "No. It's just I hate it when you go. I thought maybe if I taunted you, you wouldn't." "Well, I will. And don't taunt me. As a matter of policy, don't taunt me."

plz how am i supposed to live like this, thank u for ur service

[gremlintheslut]

Forever theirs

Chapter 7• good bad guys

Don't translate or repost my work without permission from me

Soon to be dead dove do not eat (and previously)

Master list (main pinned)

-----------------------------------------

I wake up with several pairs of arms wrapped around me. The weight of another person laying on top of me is one of the first things I notice. I'm in so much pain yet I'm so comfortable. I feel at ease and I don't want to open my eyes. When I do I will be met with the people I want to see least.

I haven't felt this calm in years. If I don't think about who's holding me it's not so bad. Maybe if I fall back asleep they'll leave me be today.

"morning sweetie" rhea says in a tired sing-song voice. "morning mommy" I reply I don't need to look to know she has a shit-eating grin on her face just from the fact I called her mommy again. "how did you sleep?" she says her arms tightening around me pulling me closer so my back is pressed against her front. "good I don't remember going to bed though," I say and she chuckles trying to not wake up the others.

" you passed out in the bathtub sweets" I hear Damian. "oh, morning daddy," I say happily now I'm fully awake. "morning pumpkin" he grumbles not as awake as me. I giggle at the feeling between my legs. "what are you laughing at?" he says playfully. "your voice is funny" I giggle. "you making fun of me?" he asks sounding less playful. "no, it's nice. I like it" I rest my head on his shoulder.

He places his hand on the side of my head and massages my scalp. Rhea and Damian share a happy loving look letting the realization that they have what's theirs now set in. "don't fall back, asleep baby" rhea says rubbing my back and I whine in response burying my head further in Damian's shoulder.

"too much sleep will make you grumpy for the day" she reasons with me but I stay quiet and motionless. "if your grumpy you'll do things you don't mean and you'll have to be punished" Damian adds. I lift my head from his shoulder. "sorry daddy, sorry mommy" I apologize. "it's alright" "it's okay" they both accept it. "what's she apologizing for?" Finn says lifting his head. He squeezes me tight as he re-a-gusts his position on top of my side.

"trying to fall back asleep," rhea says. He nods his head and looks at the occupants of the bed. "am I the last one up?" he asks. "nah doms still sleeping." rhea says. Finn sits up slightly and looks to his right where he can see dom curled up against Damian.

He shakes dom a bit before speaking. "you're the last one asleep get up" dom groans tiredly in response. "you were asleep first dom dom get up" rhea calls to him from the other side of the bed. Dom just groans louder and rolls onto his side facing away from everyone. "we'll pour water on you again" Finn says as Damian sits up to watch the scene unfold unintentionally taking me with him.

Dom finally sits up with a whine. "fine, fine im up" he says rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "morning" I say nervously as I had never met dom before. Dom looks at me a little shocked. "morning sweetheart, didn't think you'd be allowed to sleep up here this early on" he says silently asking why I was there whilst looking at the others.

"she settled in very well," rhea says. "I missed the whole thing?" he exclaims wishing it wasn't true. "you wouldn't get out of bed, I missed most of it trying to get you up," rhea says as regret fills doms face. I feel bad that he didn't get to see it because he clearly really wanted to.

I wonder if there's a way for us to do it again so dom can see me. My thought is cut off by rhea "if you wanted to see it you should have gotten up"

Rhea says getting out of bed. Maybe it wasn't that important? He can live without seeing me. But he seems so upset. What if it doesn't mean that much and I ask to do it again? I'd just put myself in more pain.

(IDK if I should write Y/N making it up dom tell me what to do)

Damian picks me up and gets out of bed following rhea out of the room. I sit on my daddy's hip and look up at him as he begins to talk. "sorry sweetie 11 am isn't a normal wake-up time. I wish we had woken you up sooner yesterday so you wouldn't have gone to bed so late." I nod and listen trying to come up with something to say but he's talking fast and he sounds smart. I can't keep up and decide to stay quiet.

"That means an early bedtime for you and no more lying in bed awake for an hour," rhea says. "an hour?" Damian asks eyebrows furrowing as he looks down at me. "it was really comfy and I didn't want to wake anyone up cus I thought they were comfy too" I say looking down and feeling guilty. "it's okay, baby. you're not in trouble. You probably won't be the first to wake up again but if you are just pull on one of our shirts till we wake up, okay?" he says. I look up at him smiling and nod my head.

We make our way down to the kitchen with dom and finn following us closely. "since we woke up after you we don't have any breakfast ready" Damian says as he places me in a highchair at a table with 4 regular chairs and weirdly enough another high chair. "but that means we get your opinion on breakfast" rhea says and I pry my eyes away from the second highchair to look at her.

"How do pancakes sound?" she says and a big grin replaces the confused look on my face and I nod my head up and down quickly. Rhea walks into the kitchen and gets the food started. I wriggle in my seat the hard chair pressing against my sore places.

"what's wrong, baby?" dom asks as he sits down in a chair to the left of me. Well, actually it's to the left of the other high chair. Damian seems to become aware he's still standing and so does Finn they both sit down. Finn sits next to dom (not in the high chair) and Damian sits on the other side of me.

"sore" I whine trying to get comfy but I can't. "do you wanna sit on daddy's lap instead?" dom asks and I nod still squirming. Dom gets up from his spot at the table to free me from my chair. He carries me to his chair and sits down placing me on his lap. "better?" dom asks and I nod my head. Blushing as I realize I just openly talk about my holes at a dinner table in front of three men. They're my men but still.

They chuckle at my embarrassed response. Soon rhea comes in with everyone's food. "do you not wanna sit in your chair?" rhea asks as she puts the plates she was carrying on the table in front of Damian and Finn before pausing and waiting for an answer before she got the rest of the food.

"too sore," I say looking at the floor whilst crossing my legs and leaning on Dom.

Rhea nods her head and heads back to the kitchen before returning with mine and Dom's food. She then heads back a final time to get her food. The pancakes that have been set in front of me are the exact way I like them the weird thing is I haven't had pancakes in at least a year.

Dom starts eating along with everyone else and I fiddle with my fork and knife trying my best to cut the pancakes. I look back and forth between my plate and Finn with my tongue out trying to figure out what to do before I hear Dom chuckle. I look back at him and he's trying to finish chewing his bite but struggling due to the laughing.

"do you want daddy to feed you?" he asks and I nod my head. He puts his fork and knife and takes mine from my hands. I let him and I watch as he easily cuts up my pancakes and feeds me a piece. I sit Happily eating my food not minding all of the people at the table staring at my cuteness. I'm done with my food first and I sit patiently as I wait for everyone else to finish.

It's roughly 12:30 when everyone's done. To get me on the sleeping schedule they want me on they decide to put me down for a nap like they would if I hadn't gotten up an hour and a half ago. After a little complaining about not being tired rhea decides to cuddle me and I was very quickly tired.

--------------------------------------------

Words-1528

Please tell me if I should write YN making it up to dom or not. Thanks for reading love ya-gremlin💋💕💗

The pole is over in 2 days but there's no 2-day option.

[ssuperficialspacecadett]

W o w

2 more stellar chapters!!!!! I can’t wait for our fav receptionist to try out being a ring girl! (Is the asshole guy gonna try something and we get to see Frankie/the guys jump in? Bc protective men is 😭😭)

Anyway I love love love how you wrote the guy’s relationships with each other!!!!

If and only if inspiration strikes, I would love a scene from a “guys night”

Either before our girls comes into their lives or after, just then having fun and being them 🥹 bc I feel a lot of fics over look the importance of their friendship esp in regard to Frankie like Frankie fics will sometimes act like he has had no support until the girl comes in his life but yours just shows how much they all love each other

Doesn’t gotta be long (or even at all!) maybe just a nice lil thing 🥰

Ily have a wonderful day!!

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Best Friends, Beers, and Bets - Through the Scope Drabble

Rating: everyone (just the boys being silly and goofy together)

Word Count: 1K

Notes: hi everyone ! i know i have been gone for a hot minute and i am deeply sorry about that. there has been a lot of not so fabulous things going on in my life and in my mental state that has left with with little motivation to write. the worst part is? im 3/4 done with chapter 11 ... like girl plz just finish that hoe DAMN ! but i found the motivation today to write for this lovely ask i received a little bit ago (: i love the idea of getting to take a peak inside how the TF boys are before Estrella came into the picture. so a very big thank you to @romanarose for this !! chronologically, this takes place before chapter one.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Frankie, Will, and Santi sit together in the back of The Barrel at their usual table. The bar isn't particularly full this evening, but the comforting hum of conversations emitting from the regulars fill the empty chairs. They talk and laugh amongst each other as they wait for their last member to arrive: Benny. It had been only four days since his receptionist quit, but the hurt was apparent to everyone. Usually, she was the one to help him clean up after they close the gym down for the evening. Both of them managed to get it done relatively quickly too. Unfortunately, in her absence, Benny had to do it all himself. The other guys had repeatedly offered to give him a hand in the evenings, but Benny refused. He said that he had it covered and that they should just wait for him at the bar. Not wanting to press him further, the trio would retreat across the street. 

“Here he is! We all thought you fell into the washing machine and couldn’t get out.” Santi claps Benny on the shoulder as he makes his way to buy a round for everyone. 

“You were 15 minutes slower than yesterday.” Will says, tapping his watch while his brother takes a seat next to him. 

“Gee, that makes me feel great! Fish, do you want to rub salt in my wounds too?” 

“I’m just happy you’re finally here, man.” Frankie’s eyes convey sincerity. “But you’re going to run yourself ragged doing all that clean up by yourself. Why don’t you let us help?” 

“Yeah.” Santi rejoins the table and passes out the bottles. A few seconds of silence go by as each man takes a moment to wash away the stress of their day with deep gulps of chilled liquid. “We are offering to help you clean. It’s not like you’re forcing us.” 

Will nods in agreement and tips his bottle in both Frankie and Santi’s direction.

“I just hate the idea of y’all doin’ work I’m completely capable of.” 

“It doesn’t make you any less of a man if we help you clorox a few work benches, Benny.” Frankie says gingerly.

“I know, I know. To be honest with y’all?” Benny scoots closer into the table. “It’s kinda lonely there without someone to talk to in between clients.”

“My bed is going to be kinda lonely too if it makes you feel any better.” Santi offers. 

This manages to get a laugh out of the very tired looking Benny. “Oh is it now? Poor you.”

“Poor me is right! Your receptionist may have kept you company during the day but she kept me company during the night. Now that she's quit, that means I have to as well.”

“That’s not what that means at all, Pope.” Will says with a raised eyebrow. “You can still see her even if she doesn’t work at Brass Knuckles anymore.” 

“Well she also started talking about getting exclusive…”

“And there’s the real reason!” Will laughs. 

“Can we get back to my issue?” Benny begs. “What do I do? No one has answered the ads I’ve posted online. I don’t know how much longer I can handle juggling training clients and taking care of the in between tasks.”

“What about good old fashioned paper flyers? You could give some to me to hang at the auto shop. Will could take some to the VA?”

“Absolutely not.” Santi says with conviction. “I will not have a man take this job and ruin my chances of meeting another beautiful woman.” 

“Fine.” Frankie rolls his eyes. “What about a bookstore or a coffee shop? Does that sound better to you?”

“That’s not a bad idea, but do people even read those flyers? I know I don’t.” Benny shrugs.

“Well you’re not the one that's desperate for a job. I would just make sure you print out the ads on bright paper so it catches peoples eye.” 

“That’s not a bad idea either.” Benny says to his brother. “Still, who knows how long it's going to take before someone calls about it?” 

All four men are quiet as they brainstorm possible solutions to the problem that's currently plaguing them.

“I’ve got it!” Santi snaps his fingers. “I bet you that you can’t find another receptionist within a week of the last one leaving.” 

“Pope, what the fuck?” Benny looks shocked.

“Yeah, why are you actively saying he can’t do it?” Frankie questions. 

Santi only chuckles and Will shortly joins him when he puts the pieces together in his head. 

“You cabrons aren’t listening to me. I bet you that you can’t find another receptionist within a week of the last one leaving. You’ve never backed away from a bet as long as I’ve known you, Benny.” 

“He does love to prove you wrong, Pope.” Will has his arms crossed over his stomach and they rise and fall easily as he begins laughing again. 

A look of realization settles over the two other men.

“Alright, I’ll take you up on that.” Benny and Pope shake hands across the table. “You’re a dick though. She’s been gone for four days now. I only have three days to find someone else to hire.” 

“Damn.” Pope takes a sip of his drink. “I guess you better get your ass into the printer shop tomorrow and make some flyers. If you don’t, drinks are on you when the clock runs out.” 

Will and Frankie cheer knowing that no matter how this bet ends, they will be getting free beer. 

“What happens if a man calls before a woman does?” Benny looks smugly at Pope. “I’m not goin’ to tell him no if it’s in my three day window of search time.”

“Won’t happen. I can feel it in my bones.” 

“Even if, what did you say before, a beautiful woman calls about the job, that doesn’t mean she’ll want to immediately hop into your bed.” Frankie states playfully.

“You think she’s going to want to hop into yours, Fish?”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

{tag list: @cutesyscreenname @rsquared31 @smol-beb @bitchwitch1981 @avastrasposts @hoeslingz @saltybutteredtoast @javicstories @c-justhere @pimosworld @modernperplexity @beboldbebravethings @mxtokko @moonliqhtszn @tanzthompson @megcads @myloveistoolittle @casa-boiardi @jitterbugs927 @partyofone3413 @pedrit0-pascalit0 @golden-library @pati-et-vivere @mashomasho @lilmizmoz @angstylittlepascal @sofiparallel @selflcontrol @adriennemichelle98 @painitemoondust @pedritosgirl2000 @tpwkmera @romanarose @missbabyjay @missgurrl }

[sad-leon]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

[maxismp1]

Can you make it rain again

Re-write

It was a pleasing day at the small land of many secrets. The field filled with flowers of every kind know to man. Many collors going miles without an end. This place was known to one person, and that specific person was blessed by a god. She was blessed with the peace. She was blessed with this land, and she must care for it! And the very God that has given her the peace.

DreaXD, the lord of smp, the God of gods, and someone.... someone you could call a friend.

You have meet in a rather said surprising circumstances.

♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

It was a sunny day at the so called land of chaos. Or it's original name, The DSMP. You wished to have a simple picnic by yourself. Everything was prepared a day before. A simple red and white blanket, some sweets of course, and a book to read. You had it perfectly planned.

The place you picked was a small garden with your flowers, it was a hill behind your house. The perfec mix of sunny weather and a slight breeze was quite pleasant.

You gathered your basket and went on your way. It didnt take you long, of course but it still felt like a small journey. When you arrived at your destination, you calmly put the basket down, got the blanket out of it, and settled down.

It has been few hours since you settled down, few cookies Here and there along with a peace of strawberry cake you prepared. The weather was still the same. Until the slight breeze picked up, it soon became a small spiral of wind and leafs. A slight golden glow startet appering. The leafs picked up a human like shape and it soon became an actually human. Tho this human had wings...

You didn't mind, there were many hybrids on the smp. It was not weird to see a new one here and there.

The breeze came back to normality, the humanoid title his head to the side, as if he was questioning me.

"Do you wish to have some strawberry cake with me"

I offered. It was not polite to not offer a person some cake if you already had plenty in your basket.

The fellow hybrid looked even more confused, it was harder to say his expression because of the mask on his face, the lips were still visible. There was a small frown, but, eho am I to blame them.

"You are not... scared?"

They asked

"Should I be?"

I replied with a question of my own

"Yes."

"Do you plan on hurting me?"

"No."

"Okay then. My offer still stand mister. Do you wish to have some of my home made strawberry cake ?"

"Sure.."

I scooted over so they could have some space. Reaching into my backed I pulled out the cake, and sliced a peace of it. Putting it on a small plate decorated with flowers. I gave it to them, also not forgeting the fork.

The frown turned into a smile and they began to eat it. An pleased hum could been heard here and there. After eating in a comfortable silence. Both of you decided to chat.

That small picnic you had planned turned in to a talk with a creature, later learning that HE was a GOD.

The visit became often, from few days in month to few days im week. It soon tuned into a daily visit, and a part of your routine.

♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

As much as you wished to go outside, you simply couldn't. You wasted a lot of energy farming yesterday. You could have asked for the potato's.... but you do not wish to abuse his kindness.

The light started shining straight to your eyes true your blinds.

'I thought I closed them'

Slowly, you sat in your bed, the blankets mangled with your feet. Reaching towards the blind you separated them, letting the light finally come true. There were few birds to be heard, but your focus was only on the wind going in circles.

To an ordinary human, that would be a sign of bed Wether coming. But to you, to you this was a sign. XD was calling for you.

With an smiled you opened your window, letting some fresh air come along aswell.

"XD... I have to sadly tell you I cannot go outside today. As much as I wish to do so. I'm simply to tired. Please understand. If you wish, you can come to my home and we could talk in here"

The moment you have ended the sentence, the glow you have memorised has aperd in your room, few feet away from your bed frame.

"Well hello there XD"

"Hello y/n.. you look.... ravishing as always"

You could tell that was sarcasm... your hair is mangled and your clothes wrinkled.

"Oh shush mister, you saw me in worse conditions. Now do you wish to talk or muck me while I have awoken not less then 5 minutes ago."

"I wish to talk"

"Good choise"

You patted the bed and moved to side so he could have some space to lay in your bed. To his suprise, you didnt just start talking like you ussual do. Instead, you snuggled in his side. He was frozen for a moment. Then remember on of your many conversations.

'It's called cuddling XD, we do it ti show love, or when we just want to be hugged'

It was a simple one, but to the God... not that much.

Few minuts have passed, he ended the fight with his mind. Slowly picking you up and putting you on his chest, his wings writing around you protectively.

"XD"

"Yes y/n"

"I have a request"

Upon that, you snuggled in his chest a lil

"Ask my dear"

"Could you make it rain?"

"Well of course, anything for you"

Moving his hand away from your embrace, he flicked it once and the sunny weather soon turned in to a slight rain. .

This was nothing new yet nothing old. It was a simple act of him. You never asked for anything unless it's nesesery. So this small request was pleasing for XD. He was okay with it.

Small hum was heard and soon your breathing became slower and in a slight rhythm. You have fallen asleep.

I hope y'all like the re write. I will start doing requests tomorow, they are still open, just aint gona do them rn

Have a pleasant nigh or day.

Goodbye my dear

[itsajanea]

Part 3

It was almost nightime, Everyone was hanging out at Smg4's. They are all having a great time playing games. Then it was time fir evryone else to leave, Leaving only Smg4 and Smg3 alone, again.

Smg4: Man I sure am tired.

Smg3: Yeah?

Smg4: Yeah, I was thinking about maybe getting ready to sleep for the night…..

Smg3: Wh- why would I care about that?

Smg4: No reason, Just saying.

Smg4 gets up and leaves the room

Smg3 shrugs it off and heads home

He checked on Eggdog, making sure they have already been fed and ready to sleep. Then he got ready for bed, Taking off his hat to let his hair loose, brushes his teeth, and puts on his most comfortable pajamas.

He got on his bed and tried to go to sleep.But in truth he can't stop thinking of what Four implying earlier.

Smg3: Does he actually want ME to do that? Or was he joking?

Smg3 blushes at the thought that Smg4 would spend the night with Him out of all people, wondering if he likes him back

Smg3 still tried to fall asleep, but he couldn't stop thinking about Four.

Smg3: Screw it.

Without thinking, He gets up from his bed and heads towards the elevator, leaves his home and went straight to Smg4's castle

He knocked on the doors and it opened revealing Smg4 who was waiting for him the entire time

Smg3: Uh hey...

Smg4: Hey...

It was awkwardly silent between the two men. All you could hear were the creatures of the night and the cold wind.

Smg3 was shivering since he was only in his pajamas.

The silence was broken by the man in blue

Smg4: You wanna.. uh come in?

Smg3: Yes please.

As 3 enters ,4 shut the door behind him and turned to see 3 getting closer to him.

Because of this Smg4 backed up against the wall, slightly blushing

Smg3: We need to talk about.... stuff.

Smg3 gets even closer to 4, making him very nervous as 3 doesn't realize what he was doing

Smg4: UH WOW.

Smg4 pushes Smg3 and look to the side so 3 wouldn't see him blushing uncontrollably.

Smg4:Oh MAN I - Hey look its the kitchen..

Smg4 quickly tries to dash towards the kitchen, embarassed at what 3 did. But Smg3 blocks the way and grabbed his hands

Smg3: OH no you don't, Don't you try avoid the situation now.

4 was struggling to release himself from 3's grasp, then he heard him softly say

Smg3: do you actually like me back?

Silence filled the room as 4 stares at the other man, trying to understand what he just said. Smg3 felt sad and worried that he ruined everything by saying that

He softly let go of 4's hands, frowning about the fact he may not like him back, tears began to form in his eyes as he slowly walks towards the exit, until 4 pulled him back in for a kiss

Smg3's eyes widened when his lips clashed against 4's lips, He then fully embraced their kiss. After a while they stopped, 4 smiles as he gently places his hand on 3's face

Smg4:I love you 3, I do.

Smg3 didn't know what to say, by then he stopped crying as 4 wiped away his tears.

They both shared another kiss. After that they happily entered the kitchen, drinking some hot chocolate and talking about what they should do about their new relationship together

Smg3: Maybe lets not tell the others about this. It might be a little too much too handle, Not like I care about what they think.

He looks away blushing ever so slightly. Four giggles because though they finally admitted their love to each other he is still the same

Smg4: Aww you're such a tsundere 3.

Smg3: NO IM NOT you baka.

4 giggles yet again. 3 sits down next to 4 and rest his head on his shoulder

Smg4: But you're right tho, maybe we should just enjoy this moment for now...

Smg3: Agreed.

To be continued

Note: Ok this one is a lil bit longer BUT there will be one final chapter about this and it might take a lil while to make it. Still I hope you enjoy. ^^

[bonniebird]

Jughead x Fem!Reader  

Requested by Anon​

December event

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Hurrying inside, out of the cold you paused. The warmth of the hotel lobby seeped into you and made your body ache pleasantly. There was already someone at the desk as you hurried over. 

“Hi. are there any rooms for the night?” You asked. The receptionist went to check. As she did you felt someone glaring at you. Glancing over you saw it was Jughead who was at the desk. You gave him an awkward smile. The two of you just hadn’t ever seemed to click. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you as you waited to be given a key. Once you were booked in you hurried upstairs while Jughead went into the cafe to the left of the lobby. 

The room was small and, considering that it was a few miles outside of Riverdale, it was rather warm and cosy looking. The bedding and decorations in the room had clearly been swapped out for Christmas ones. It looked rather comfortable though. There was a small area that had been made into a living room area with a small kitchen in the corner. Setting your bags down you went over to the window. It felt a little silly. Getting caught out in the snow only an hour away from Riverdale. However, you’d barely gotten your car into the hotel car park. Flopping down onto the bed you closed your eyes for a moment. The moment must have been longer than you thought as something woke you and the light in the room was slightly darker.

Getting up you heard the door to your hotel room open. Jughead stepped through. As the door shut the two of you stared at each other.

“What're you in my room?” You both said at the same time. After several moments of bickering, the two of you headed down to the front desk. When the receptionists finally got you both to calm down they checked the computers and one of the awkwardly muttered out.

“I’m sorry all the hotel rooms are booked. There’s only one room available.” They explained. There was an offer to send up bedding. The two of you reluctantly resigned yourselves to sharing the room as the only alternative would be sleeping in your car during a snow flurry. By now the snow was so deep that no cars were on the road and all the phones in the lobby were being used by people explaining that they wouldn’t be getting home soon.

“I suppose you should take the bed.” Jughead grumbled. You didn’t object. It was the nicest he'd been to you in a while. Neither of you spoke as you settled down. Filtering into the bathroom one at a time was a little awkward and you tripped over him on your way out. Sleep came quickly. Travelling must have made you more tired than you had realised. The next morning you woke up to a smell that filled the room. It made your stomach ache with hunger as you sat up.

“We’re going to be stuck here until a snow plough comes. It snowed overnight.” Jughead explained. You got up and saw that he was cooking breakfast. “Do you want some? I have some food left from my last stop… it’s pretty expensive downstairs.” He sounded as if he was trying very hard to keep an uncaring tone of voice.

“Yes please.” You said as you looked in the small kitchen cupboard for some plates.

Jughead tags;

@elenavampire138 @zoomdeathknight @pheonix4269 @bloodrose @sarahbullet235 @lovelyy-moonlight @stellasblog @DeanWinchestersgirl87 @thekayarlene @linkpk88 @babypink224221 @lisainhell @spiderwebs-blog @gryffindorqueensworld @rockyrascal @twerp8999 @sairamccall11 @theletterhart @boardstomymood @daughterofthenight117 @geli2297 @justice-for-the-kaldorei @kaylantus @ssa--holmes @salemsnothere @supernatural-wolfie @yougottalovefandoms @devilslilbabysblog @why-am-I-here-01 @babygrinchsblog @love1deandra @archaeologydigit @im-eating-rn @bucketbunny @multifandomwriter56 @littlefreakingfangirl @jayyeahthatsme @gillybear17 @lelapine @lchufflepuffcorn @lucyqueenofthestars @Kaitieskidmore1 @jamie-c-bower-simp @boardstomymood @heeheehoohoohahahihi

[dotspoetrycorner]

Rise of the Pink Ladies Cynthia x OC Part 7

Chapter 7: Frosty Palace

Ella’s POV

After ditching the pep rally I went to the frosty palace. I didn’t know where else to go, my parents expected me to be at the school and I couldn’t explain to the why I left. So here I am in the almost empty diner, drinking a milkshake and rethinking all my choices. 

I know Susan’s just upset and is looking for any reason to be more upset, but how can you publicly humiliate someone like that? But what else can I do, they are the only way to get though the year.

The pep rally must be over because the diner starting filling with people, I really just wanted to go home at this point, so I quickly finished my drink and left. I had just managed to weave my way through all the people and cars when I ran into someone. They were running and the impact was hard, making me fall flat on the ground. 

“Watch where you’re-“ I started to yell but then I looked up and saw Cynthia. “Oh- I’m so sorry!” She said frantically, trying to help me up. “Why are you in such a rush?” I asked. “Im just trying to get home.” She replied. “Me too. Rough night?” She nodded, “Yeah. After what happened at the pep rally, I-“ “what happened at the pep rally? I left early.” I guess something pretty big. “The t-birds said they would let me join them if I came up with a plan to get back at those stupid socs for embarrassing Richie… no offense, but your friends are awful.” She explained. “I don’t even know if they’re my friends anymore. Not after they wanted to embarrass Jane like that.” 

After walking for a while I realized Cynthia and I should have parted ways by this point, she’s walking in the opposite direction from her house. “You don’t go this way.” “I’m walking you home” She replied. “You really don’t have to-“ “I’m walking you home.” Alright then. We just kept walking in silence. It’s so weird, we used to be able to talk for hours, talk about anything and everything, and now we’re struggling to find even one thing to talk about. 

Cynthia was the first to speak, “so… are you caught up on the English assignment?” I just looked at her, that was the best she could come up with? She continued, “Look, I’m strapped for conversation here and you like books.” I laughed, “After Of Mice and Men, Animal Farm, and The Catcher in the Rye, Little Women is an amazing change. I’m on my third re-read.” I glanced over at Cynthia, she was just staring at me, smiling. “What?” I asked, “Nothing. That’s just very you.” I looked down, it’s weird, our dynamic is the same as it used to be but now I get this weird feeling when she’s around. She spoke again, “I didn’t mind it at first, I actually kind of liked it. Jo was cool, then she got into all that love crap, I couldn’t get through it.” 

That conversation broke the ice and we were back to exactly how I remember us being. But eventually we arrived at my house. “This is me. Thank you, you turned my really bad night into a pretty okay one.” I said and hugged Cynthia. She tensed up for a second then hugged back. That feeling came back. I told her goodnight then started walking up my driveway, hearing a soft “goodnight” as I walked into my house.

I was greeted by my mom. “Was that Cynthia out there?” She asked. “Yes” I replied. “I didn’t know you two were still friends.” “I’m really tired. Im going to sleep, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I said, quickly walking up the stairs. Its not that I didn’t want to tell me mom what had happened that night, but it’s a long story and she just wouldn’t understand. 

lying in bed I couldn’t sleep, all I could do is think. I couldn’t be friends with Cynthia again and keep my other friends, and they have been really rude the past couple of days, and Cynthia and I have always been great friends for one another. But Susan, Dot, Rosemary, and Pearl have been with me through the past 6 years, through everything. I don’t know what to do.

[the-witness-sys]

alter intro: michael

[pt: alter intro: michael]

linky winky

hello!!! i wanted to make an intro post but idk what to say B) cutely copies alex's formatting

purple is MY color i can't believe he stole it smh /lh

about me!

[pt: about me!]

name: michael

nickname(s): mike

pronouns: he/him

gender: trans male

sexuality: dudes r cool (gay gay homosexual gay)

age: 20.....? idk i thought my age was constant but i'm feelin kinda 18 or something rn o_O anyways

role(s): official silly guy (also co-host, i guess)

more stuff below . you should check it out B)

cool lil facteronies

[pt: cool lil facteronies]

- i kiss men. on the lips

- i'm a michael afton fictive B) (one of three in our system, actually)

- i don't remember shit from source! i'm still very attached to it though

- i love looking at fanart of myself <3 feeds my ego /hj

- out of the hosts (me, alex, rain), my memory is the worst (i think it's an adhd thing though)

- despite this, i am also a memory-holder. seems like a design flaw to me

- the others are trying to force me to make my own blog so i stop filling our dashboard with fnaf content. smh

- i like working with my hands B) i've recently taken up wood carving but i think the wood i got is too hard :(

- i dunno man talking about myself is so hard

- oh yeah i unironically play league of legends. the others make fun of me for it :((

w-woah! links!

(pt: w-woah! links!)

i don't know how to descibe the voice i read this in, but know that it's meant to be read in A Voice

- pinterest (i really like hospitalcore so maybe don't look if you have medical trauma. also there might be syringes/needles in there i don't remember)

- pronouns.cc (not a whole lot to look at. i only use he/him lmao)

- maybe i will have my own tumblr eventually but i am oh so eepy rn

pictures.

(pt: pictures.)

im too tired to think of something funny rn

i was gonna add some more picrews to match alex's intro but i actually don't really have any. i don't spend all my time being emo and making picrews of myself like some people /t. instead, here are some edits B)

these images make me scream /pos

edits by @mizukolai (thanks again!!!!!)

original art by madowotti on twitter

anyways i am going bed. thank you for reading and feel free to say hi whenever B)

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3443

today has been fuckin ROUGH, my dudes.

i woke up this morning and almost immediately got overwhelmed by stuff. car accident stuff, medical bill stuff, cleaning stuff, putting stuff away, money stuff, literally anything that i had to think about or possibly find i was immediately stressed about. my broken glasses, an unpaid insurance claim, unpaid medical bills that i didn't know where to send, phone calls, breakfast, missing paperwork. literally i sat up in bed with my head in my hands for a solid ten minutes because i couldn't handle looking at my disaster of a room. it just made everything worse.

the anxiety and stress followed me most of the day. it still lingers, even now.

i didn't feel confident enough in myself to be an adult today. in fact, today was one of those days when i wanted to sit with my plushies and rock back and forth all day and be tucked into bed. it felt like i was five. it happens a lot, actually, and it's very frustrating because it happens at the worst possible moments.

i had to push through it. as mom looked for some of my paperwork, she also picked up some of the things in my room that didn't need to be there. it made it a little more manageable. i could at least look at it.

mom and i sat down and looked at paperwork after collecting a bunch. we looked through insurance things for my car accident. i went through and checked things off. i had questions so i wrote them down. i filled out forms and called my claims agent and left a message. when she didn't pick up, mom and i went to the bank to get things notarized. with that done, we got starbucks and lunch and my agent called back just as i was putting my stuff down after coming back. i asked my questions and got some answers. so that was good.

i also got a notification that my ebay package was delivered - the one with my new glasses frames in it. i ran out to grab the mail and i took the box and my purse and went to get my lenses changed into the new frames. i had to wait a bit, and while i waited i realized i was so excited to get my new frames that i'd left my phone on the table at home.

good news is the frames are perfect.

i was able to hit up walmart after for a few things i needed, like my medication refills, some body wash, and a new supply of period supplies, but i also got more decorations for the office for valentine's day and laundry baskets for me and joel. they're a distinct color so no one should fuck it up.

also i scheduled an appointment to get my hair done later this month. mom and i talked about it and she said she was willing to pay for it for me, still. she mentioned it's something i do for my mental health, and she's right. it's been a long time since i last got my hair done, so i'm happy about being able to do it again.

after returning home after all of that, i was tired. mom and i went upstairs and played one of the new games i got for christmas and it was a lot of fun to play. i'll bring it over to play with joel, although a lot of people don't like the same kind of games i do. it kind of makes me sad because people don't like the puzzle games i like so i don't have people to play them with. sure i don't have a lot of time anyway, but id still like to play. i miss playing. so much of my life is just work and sleep and drive and i don't ever really get to just play. i keep plushies with me because i want the comfort of having them with me because i don't have time to dedicate to having them with me. so i just keep them with me. it's. it's frustrating. and it makes me sad.

but yeah not much happened besides a ton of things that needed to be cleared up for my mental health.

next up is cutting my nails. i'm so tired. i'm exhausted and im hungry and im tired and i need a vacation desperately. and probably a new job. it's taxing. i love my job. i love my coworkers. but what i have to do to go to work daily is unsustainable. i've really worked there for six months. i am very fucking close to burning out.

i need to talk to christine. too many things have happened.

also i'd like a joel hug. he gives good hugs and encourages me to only worry about the things i can control. he helps me put things into perspective.

i hope he likes the laundry baskets.

[noahs-worldxd]

‘ Wait what did she say?’ Momo thought.

“ you guys are not very good at whispering.” Todoroki spoke up walking out of the hallway. The next day Soto and Momo hug out. ‘ Ive never had a friend before, but.. With her it feels….. Different.’ Shoto though as she read jokes from a book out loud. Later that day momo knocked on Shoto’s door. No replie. She opened the door. Shoto was laying on his bed with now exsprshion staring at the ceiling.

“ Please leave.” He said. ‘ did i do something rong?’ Momo though to herself.

“ Totoroki, what happened.” she asked.

“ Please…. Leave.” he repeated.’ damn why did i say that? Thats the opposit of what i want.’ Shoto though. Momo shuffled her way  out the door. Shoto placed a hand on his scar on his left side.

“ You did this, Endeavour, you bastard.” he said. Fro the next several day they did speack. Shot seemed he was not bothered, but he hated it.Shoto layed on his bed. His tie loosed and his jacket thrown on the floor. He managed to have one alone time with momo but they didnt say anything so she left him there like a fish gasping for air, wall water.’ Such a coward.’ He thought.Momo never left his mind.’ why is she so important to me?’ He thought. Hten it dawned on his. He slid down the halls down to moms room he knocked on the door. No reply. Before he could knock again the door swung open.

“ Can i help you?’ A tired Momo asked she had bags under her eyes, her hair was down.

“ UH…” ‘ what is this i never get nervous.’

“ My father called me and left me in a bad mood. Im sorry i got mad at you.” He appologized.

“ Oh… its ok Todoroki.” She smiled her tired face brightened.

“ Dont call me that.” He said.Momos eyes lit up. Her reaction was abol for him to crack a little smirk. Momo and Todoroki sat in her room. They talked about almost everything and anything. 

“ Your hair is quite long.” She observed.” Do you ever put it up?’

“ No.” he answered. Momo slid off a hair tie from her wrist, and smiled.

“ Sure.” Stoto sighed. Assuming she was going to ask. Momo sat behind him and slid his hair back into a short, stubbed ponytail, Nock, nock. Moo jumped up and answered the door. She cracked open the door enough to poke her head out. 

“ Oh hey, Mina.” Momo said brightly.

“ Hey, Mr, Azowaia wants all of us to meet in the common room.” Mina smiled.

“ Ok tell him ill be right there.” Momo said, closing the door. Shoto stood in the back of the room trying not to be seen.

“ Why are you back there?’ Momo asked.

“ I didn't want her to see me and think something was going on.” He said in his normal tone. The two walked out to the common room. Mr. Azowia announced on weekends that the students could leave the dorms and go around town, weather to visit family, shop,exa. But they had a curfew, 6:30. After the announcement Momo walked outside of the dorms. She stared at the concrete sidewalk. ‘ Why do you do this Momo? He’ll never like you your hideous, Fuckin bitch.’ She thought to herself. Scuffing her feet along the sidewalk. ‘ No wonder, you should have died a long time ago.’ Her breath hitched. She felt heaviness in her chest.’ Slut!’  Things shes been told filled her head.

“ Worthless, a waste of oxygen.” - Her dad.

“Why are you saying something?” - Middle school. Her feet met the wooden dock.salty wind blew in her face.

“ suiside was made for people like you.” Her mind.

“ She's an attention whore.” -Sister. Familiar footsteps snapped her from her thoughts. She had made it to the edge of the dock. Tears peeked from her eyes.

“Yaoyorozu!” Shoto ran up to her. “ what's wrong? You left very quickly.”

“ Todoroki… i just want to be alne.” Momo sighed.

“ I am sorry, i care about your boundaries so if-”

“  why would you care, Todoroki? Why would anybody?im worthless, and god for not-”

“ That is not at all true. You are inttelagent, caring, kind… very optimistic. I saw you, i saw how you plan your strategies flawless, you help everyone, Moo they all matter!” Shoto said. He had a diffrent emotion. It wasnt mad or sad. He couldnt quite place his finger on it. He didnt pay much mind how the words could of hit differently. He was once in her shoes.

“ Its not the roumors or anything, im doing what people have told me to do…” Momo said turning away with tears.Todoroki could tell she didnt want to do this but felt she had to. H egrabed a hold of her wrist.

“ Please…. Calm down. Dont do this.” He said calmly.

“ Why would I?... My own mother didnt want me!” Momo yelled with tears.

“.... Im sorry..” those where the only words he could say.

“ STOP APOLOGIZING!” Momo yelled, swinging her hand out of Shots grip. The water crashed against the wooden dock.

“ Please dont jump.” Todorokis voice sounded desperate.

“ Why-” Momo started.

“ Because i love you!” he blurted. It didnt seem fake. The pain overwhelmed him. He choked back tears. He had spent long painful nights to realize what he felt.

“ I can t left you go… even if your not mine…. Please… dont jump.” His voice hinched.

“I wont jump…” Momo said tears flowed. Shoto looked up at her with a smile. That smile quickly faded. Color drained from his face as he saw her falling figure.

“ MOMO!” Todorki ran to the end on the dock as her body splashing into the water. Thats when she relized: There where other options, Her problems had solushions, there where people who cared,peole could be hurt by her action, thats when she realized, she wanted to live.

[b0mblover]

It’ll be Okay in the End

By: J

cw; selfharm, generally negative thoughts, blood (etc everything that comes with sh)

lopt essentially has a silent breakdown and mason comforts him or smth idk im not good at summeries,

[Note; this was wrote out of my own desperation for comfort, not romanizing sh, i do not encourage or believe anyone should do this to themselves, seek help.]

i uh, actually had a easier time writing this than most things, probably because ive been essentially replaying this whole scene in my head for literal years! i for once wasnt upset when i wrote this, i was very tired tho! uh i have alot more to say but hawaii part ii lopt is taking over my brain again, so im gonna go do that! have fun with my depressed 100% projected loptson ig!

•

lopt was in ‘his’ so called room, scribbling away at some paper,

mason was rather concerned, hearing frustrated noises constantly, what sounded like pencils breaking,

they had been “partners” officially for 3 months now, mason had always cared about lopt to an extent, partner or not, but this was… odd.

sure lopt had his own life, hobbies, but he didnt care to keep /that/ much from mason, especially whenever he asked,

but, this was different.

lopt had came home from wherever the fuck he was- hell if mason knew details- annoyed, he stormed off to some room, when mason tried to ask what was wrong he only blew him off saying that “its none of your fucking business, you wouldnt get it anyways”

•

lopt was scribbling away in his notepad, despite being a god and literally being immortal, he still couldnt force creativity to come to him,

it was his fifth time trying,

most drawings resulted in poorly scribbled out lines,

he had went out to try and get inspiration for “some project” though he didnt really /have/ anything to work on, starting a new drawing always seemed to be a block for him,

he sat down his broken (6b) pencil, (rather violently but he didnt want to acknowledge that) and got up, he knew somewhere in him, that he needed a break, he walked out of his room to get water, but his mind wouldnt leave him alone,

constant thoughts about how awful his art was spewed around

“youre not “talented”, youre worthless”

“itd be better to quit now”

“just rip up the damn papers, theyre ugly anyways”

“imagine- you could just go and alleviate all this pain, just with that knife-“

he tried to push down his thoughts,

grabbing a cup from the cabinet and filling it with water,

the knives in the butcher block seemed so… tempting,

most of him /knew/ that he shouldnt- that it was wrong, that mason would be disappointed- disgusted, if he found out about his thoughts,

but, he couldnt help it,

all memories of the nights he got up from their bed to take part in something that would disgust his partner made him sick.

questions runned through his head as he sipped on his water, leaning onto the counter

“would he be sad?”

“would he care?”

“would he call me names?”

“tell me how pathetic i am?”

“leave me?”

“would he hate me?”

“tell me how ugly my body is”

“tell me how he hates the scars”

“tell me just how much he despises me”

the voices grew louder wither every question,

saying that he wanted mason to hate him,

that he did hate him,

in the very back of lopts mind, in the tiniest corner, he knew it all wasnt true, that he was being dramatic over nothing,

but even then, the memories of all the times he loved someone- all the times he didnt question if they hated him, what they all said to him,

he felt like doubting himself was the only way to have them not leave,

to not abandon him,

he took a deep breath before sighing, realizing his cup was empty, he decided that he had enough of a “break” and that he needed to start “working” again,

•

mason was sitting on the couch, some random tv show playing for background noise, when lopt wasnt “there” it was almost too quiet, in a way, mason had grown to love how loud and chaotic the house was with lopt- even if thery were the only two people in it.

he seen lopt walk into the kitchen for around 8~ minutes before he trudged his way into his room once more,

he didnt know excatly as to what lopt was doing,

granted whatever it was had to have been important, he didnt usually spend 3+ hours in a room alone silently, it started to make him worry, was lopt sick? just why did he seem so upset when he came home? is he okay? did he hurt himself?

•

lopt sat down at his desk once more, staring at the scribbled page, a sphere, he couldnt figure out how to shade it properly on the background,

he sighed turning his attention to the top left drawer,

he stood up walking over to his dresser, pulling out another drawer, he took out a roll of bandages, and some tissues, 

he knew that he shouldnt, that it was essentially pointless, that hed feel better soon enough,

but that fear crept back up,

“what about last time you didnt? remember? it got only worse because you didnt”

he rubbed the sides of his nose bridge, the voices were annoying, they knew that he was gonna, even without the encouragement.

he sat back down at his desk, sitting the tissues to his right and the badages to his left before pulling out the left hand drawer,

he rummaged through it, various miscellaneous items, before coming across a box,

a red box, seemingly quiet old, with yellow letters reading “do it” on the front,

he took one out, ‘unwrapping’ the razor blade,

straight edge,

he stared at it, contemplating just what hes doing with his life,

“i cant draw, i cant write, i cant make people happy, i cant make music, i can only recite the tales others have told, im worthless, im doless, i will never amount to anything or anyone in my life, god or not, human or not, this is deserved, if i cannot create, then i at lease deserve to bleed”

a mantra he told himself, attempting to poorly justify his actions,

•

mason listened at the door, hearing nothing, no pencil, no walking, almost no breathing, he didnt know everything about lopt, sure, but he knew that he didnt look well off, and what boyfriend would he be to his partner if he wasnt concerned?

they had an unspoken rule to always at least knock before walking into the others space, granted they had seen every part of each other, it was just a courtesy they had, 

though, something felt off,

mason felt as if he shouldnt knock, that lopt was hiding something,

all those sleepless nights where lopt comforted him abundantly, he had felt him get up, a few times he had caught lopt in the basement, he didnt know just what he was doing, he always hid something,

he didnt want to break any boundaries sure, thatd be rude and disrespectful, but, he had a weird feeling in his gut that it was for lopts own saftey,

“please forgive me for this” he muttered to himself,

sharply inhaling before opening the door,

simply greeted by lopts back.

•

lopt heard the door open, he had three lines going diagonally down his right arm, bleeding, he fumbled the razor, dropping it onto the floor, it had gotten rather dark by now, so it probably wouldnt be seen, he attempted to get the tissues, he had always been a great liar,

“ill just say i accidentally cut myself, if he asks what i was doing with a weapon, ill deflect and say i was being stupid”

it seems like he fumbled the tissues for a bit too long.

“hey”

mason said over his shoulder,

he moved his left hand to cover the cuts,

“o-oh, hey, whats wrong?”

“hm, well, i mean nothing? i guess, what are you doing?”

“i- you guess? is something the matter?”

mason had noticed he was oddly covering his forearm,

“you ignored my question.”

“huh?”

“i asked what youre doing.”

masons tone sounded alot more pissed off, granted he wasnt, just concered more than anything,

“o-oh i um, ok dont laugh but uh- i was trying to draw”

“and why are you covering your arm? are you hurt?”

“i- huh? wh- no, no! i uh, may have also been playing with a blade and accidentally scraped myself, nothing much”

“let me see”

“what?”

“let me see your injury”

lopt was taken aback, all of his previous partners never asked to see his wounds, scars sure but never his wounds, even if they werent self inflicted, he was shocked, he hadnt planned for this.

“i- i assure you dear, it isnt anything to worry about-“

“let me see it. are you hiding something?”

in that moment lopt felt small, like a child almost, weak, helpless, he didnt know how he could get out of this without mason either finding out or being suspicious of him.

“i- here”

lopt moved his left arm to mason, there were a few small cuts on it, though rather old looking,

lopt moved his right arm off the table, into the shadows to not call attention to it.

“uh huh, now the other?”

lopt seen his eternal life flash before his very eyes.

his mind went on autopilot and raised his right arm, he usually would fight but, he knew itd be pointless, mason would just worry more, thus making him keep a closer eye on lopt, he didnt want to feel selfish, not like that,

“oh my, i- oh my god,”

mason was shocked, he had suspected that lopt had hurt himself in the past, granted the scars,

but, he didnt think he still did it, sure the weird behavior, but it never really dawned on him until that moment.

.

mason had brought (more like dragged) lopt to the bathroom, running the slits under cool water, putting pressure to hopefully get the bleeding under control, he opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out another roll of bandages,

he stood behind lopt washing the blood off, still slightly in shock,

“why?”

“huh?”

“why do you do this?”

masom questioned, fully aware of the long list lopt was about to give out,

“i- well, i dunno..”

lopts voice trailed off before starting again,

“i mean, i dont even know why i do this, it just feels good? like i can do something right? it makes me feel like im not worthless”

mason hummed for a second before choosing his words

“do you feel normally that youre worthless?”

“i guess so, i dont know why, i have the best boyfriend, my life is great, i just dont know..”

“mmhm, what were you trying to draw?”

“i dont know. does it matter?”

lopt shot back

“well, you seemed frustrated at it, so im sure it’s important to you yeah? so then it’s important to me”

mason brought his hands around lopts wrist, rubbing it slightly attempting to calm him down

“i- i dont know, i just, i feel frustrated, so i tried to draw, but drawing makes me feel more frustrated, so i did this- an- and n-now-“

lopt began to stutter, tears swelling up in his eyes, mason had only seen him cry on a few occasions,

“shh- shh its okay, i know what youre saying, breath, okay?”

lopt inhaled deeply, feeling masons left hand move to wipe the tears away,

he didnt even know why he was crying,

mason bandaged lopts arm slightly tight, 

“shh, now, you wanna talk about this? or wait a little bit longer to calm down?”

“c-calm down”

“alright alright, shh youre okay, see?”

mason lead lopt into his bedroom, taking lopts hand under the covers as he had done for him every sleepless night,

lopt could feel his eyelids starting to droop, the warmth of his boyfriend comforting him, the love of his boyfriend comforting him,

he shoved his head into masons chest, finding it to be the most comfortable spot out of the entire bed,

mason ruffled his hair, slowly stroking his hand on his neck,

“y’know, you may be a god,

and you may be immortal, but,

ill be with you for as long as you need, in this life and after”

lopt didnt respond, just slightly nodded his head before burrying it deeper into masons chest, 

maybe tonight wasnt so bad after all,

spending time with mason- no, his boyfriend, was never bad.

lopt faded in and out of sleep, trying to fight the melatonin being produced, just to feel the sweet touch of his boyfriends skin, before he completely felt himself drift away, he heard him speak,

“I love you, i love you so much, never forget that, in this life and the next, ill always love you, lopt.”

[cakeboxie]

Pardon my rambling. Illness of the mental flavour this fine four in the morning.

On one hand I want to post shit as soon as I’m done drawing but I also like keeping a queue bc then my account doesn’t die for 7-14 business days when my wrists act up not from an obligation to post just bc I like seeing people interact with my art and i know I could take a break and keeping a queue makes it so I can but also I love consistency and I just because I should take breaks doesn’t mean I like doing it and I think I may spend too much time on the internet but I’m not entirely sure what else to do with myself because what else is there to do for me as someone who can’t really go out or do most normal things. I suppose I could read but I already do a lot of that not even just fanfic I read a decent amount of novels im just horribly picky and I find the process of finding novels I enjoy exausting. I could write more music too but I already do that a lot and it’s debatable if that’s better because I end up obsessing over even minor flaws. I want to redecorate my room but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or if I’m just tired bc I’m pretty sure I forgot to take my meds last night even though I slept what felt like a normal amount. I should also go to bed now bc I did take my meds and I know that’s definitely making my current situation worse but on the other hand I want to run. Which I know is a bad idea last time i tried to go for a run my legs gave out and I was stuck in the cold for 4 hours until my roommate woke up and could bring my wheelchair and I’m not sure when my knees got this bad. Like I could never run because I was asthmatic but it was a different kind of couldn’t like I could technically run it was just a bad idea because I’d have an asthma attack. But now I can’t because I’ll fall and won’t be able to get back up or I’ll be in such severe pain I can’t get home or one time I got lost and just kinda kept walking for almost 2 hours bc I forgot my phone so I couldn’t contact anyone and I shit you not I ended up in the neighbor town (it’s not that far and I didn’t remember crossing the highway either way) and after that I barely got out of bed for like a week. Not that I get out of bed often as it anyway and I think that’s why it feels like I spend too much time online. Because I only really remember being online because it’s the best part of my day. Like I know I have one irl I could be hanging out with but also that is so much effort and I love her dearly but it’s a different kind of yearning I think. I want to be normal just for like a day I want to have friends who want to talk to me and people to spend time with irl. But I also don’t. I don’t want people I don’t want friends and I know that. I want the romanticized version of friends that don’t have drama or problems or complexity and I think that’s why I value my online friends and my mutuals so much because it fills the social need without any of the issues that come with humans and I feel horrible saying that because I know my mutuals are human but online is comfortable and the block button is always a click away and I’m not afraid to use it but also I am because what if I’ve misjudged the situation not that I’ll ever ask.

Edit I’m expanding this because my brain has gone in a very irl dangerous direction and I need to keep my hands busy lest I do something fucking stupid. Sometimes I wonder how much my apathy shows and sometimes I wonder if it’s even apathy because I am apathetic in a clinical sense but I wonder if I’m exaggerating because I get bursts of excitement or feeling but it comes and goes in minutes like. Even then direction I was going isn’t out of and particular negative emotion it was a passive thought and I think that’s arguably more worrying bc instead of being jarring and worrying I considered making a catastrophically bad decision with all the care of someone picking want to have for breakfast. Maybe I’d feel better if I jerked off I don’t think that’s is a great idea but also there’s certainly worse options I’m wondering if this reads as much like a conversation as it feels because I don’t remember writing most of it but also reading it does sound like me but not and I don’t know why that is but I don’t want to think to hard on it so.